The gentleman instructed, in the conduct of a virtuous and happy life : In three parts. Written for the instruction of a young nobleman. To which is added, a word to the ladies, by way of supplement to the first part

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OF THE

Theological Seminary

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THE

Gentleman Inftruded

I N T H E

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CONDUCT

^ Virtuous and Mappy IT Mi^."^

L I F E.^^

In Three Parts.

Written for the Instruction of a

YouxNG NOBLEMAN.

To which is added,

A Word to the LADIES,

By Way of S U P P L E M E N T to the

F I R S T P A R T.

The Tenth Edition.

LONDON:

printed by W. Burton, for the Executrix of
E. Sm I T H •, and Sold by W. Parker, at the
Kir^s-Head, in St. Faults Church- Yard.

MDCCX "xxflT

>

To the Right Honourable

EDWARD.

Lord Vifcount Cornhury^ &c.

B^ron Clifton of Leighton"
Bromfwould 3

Son and Heir-Apparent of

Edward Earl oiClarendon^Scc.

My Lord,

I Formerly prefented Tour Lordfhip njj'tth
the Firji Volume of this Book, and
for the fame Reafon I noiv prefent
it again entire in all its Farts to Tou, be-
caufe it luas made for Tou, I mean^ for
Gentlemen of Tour Nohle Chara&er ^ and
hecaufe, I helieue^ the perufal of it nvill
loth profit and delight Tou : But more
efpeciallyy My Lord, J make Tou a Pre-^
fent of it, to gi<ve Tour Lordjhip an Af»
furance of the unfeigned Defires I ha've,
A 2 that

The Dedication.
that Ton JhouU he Goody as 'well as
Great y and to tejlify therehy to the Worldy
the great RefpeB I ha^e for your Noble
Family ; of 'which Tour Lordjhip cannot
fail to he the great Ornament , as ivell as
the Glory of Tour Country y if you take
this Book for Tour Companion y and Eu-
febius, the Nohle Author of ity for your
Guide,

My Lord, I had the Honour to he
long acquainted <with my Lord Tour Grand-
father^ and I had the Happinefs and Blef-
fing to he hred up in the Family of Tour
Great Grandfather of immortal Memory^
I meany in the mojl famous Uniiferjity of
Oxford, to nvhichy after a long Night of
Ignorance, in Times "which his incompara»
hie Pen hath defcrihedy he reflored true
Learning and Difciplme, to the great Be-
nefit of the Church and Kingdom y and go-
werned ity all the Time he 'was Chancellor
of it^ 'with the Cave, AjfeBion and Au-
thority of a Father 5 andy My Lord, I've-
rily belie'vey that of thofcy 'who ivere then
Students in the Univerjityy there is not a
Man of any Rank or Profe/Jton noiv li'v-

ingy

The Dedication.
ingy ivho doth not re'verence his Memory^
and njuifh all Happinefs to his Nolle Fa-
milyy and particularly to lour Lordjhipy
ivho hear his Name^ andivhoy ^we all hope^
nvillfolhiv his great Example^ and that of
another in e^very RefpeB as Greaty and
Goody I mean the Example of Tour He-
roick other Great Grandfather y my Lord
Caps^l, of mojl Venerable and Immor-
tal Alemory.

To that Endy My Lord, this Book, noiu
compkated by the Author ^ comes to 'wait
upon Tou in the Fifth Edition j ^hich I
mention to Tour Lordjhip, to let you un-
derjiandy that it mujl he a Book of more
than common Value ^ ^hich in fo Critical
an Age hath made its Way fo ojten in its
federal Parts through the World ^without
any other Tejiimonyy or Commendationy
but that of its onvn intrinjick Worth.

Wherefore y My Lord, I do not defire
Tou to read it o'ver, for that njjould be a
Bifparagement to it^ and all the Parts of
it \ I only dejire Tour Lordjhip ro tafte it,
to read as fmallapart of it as Tou pleafey
and then to forbear reading the ivhole CoU
A 3 leUiony

The Dedicatiok,

leBion^ if you can. I dare fay^ My Lord,
ijohen Tou have begun, Tou njoill no more he
able not to go through the ^whoky than if
Tou ijjere to read the heji Dramatick Com-
fofure that e^ver 'was madey Tou could give
off at the Firft AU, and not proceed to the
End of the Fifth. It is not ^without Reafon,
My Lord, that I liken this Book to a
Play 'y for indeed it is a fort of Drama,
^written in Dialogue, ^without Numbers, in
ivhich federal Perfons under feigned Names
exprefs federal Humours ^ and, as it 'were^
aU federal Parts 5 and as in a true PJay,
in nvhich the Poet defgns to profit, as much
astopleafe, and to couch a Noble Moral in
the Plot, this bright and ferious Dramatift
in Profe, the Wife Eufebius, ^hofe Piety in
his Book is equal to his Wit, deftgns through
the 'whole of it to render Virtue amiable and
venerable, and mofl becoming the Profeffion
and PraBice of Gentlemen, and to reprefent
Wictin its natural Features, as hateful and
ridiculous, and mofl dijhonourahle and re^
proachful to Gentlemen of all Ranks, de-
fcrihing all along the Vanities and Follies
and M^dnefs of the World, and difcover-

ing

The Dedication.
ing the finful Arts and Snares and Temp^
tations of it in Juch a delightful and con^
evincing manner, that it mufl he faid of
e^very one, 'who can turn Afoftate from
Virtuey after reading this mofl excellent
Volume y that his DejlruBion is ofhimfelf.
My Lord, it is no'w fome Time fince
Your Lordfhip entered on the Stage of
the Worldy and gi've me leave to fay a-
gain, that the Eyes of God, and all good
Men 'will he upon ToUy to ohfer^ve how
Tou 'will aU Tour Part^ and 'whether Toull
follonv the InJiruBions nvhich the Honoura-
ble Eufebius gi'ves in the frjl Part to
Neandcr, and in the rej} to Theomachus ^
or 'whether forgetting the Honour both of
Tour natural and ffiritual Birth , and the
facred Obligations of Tour Baptifmal Vb'Wy
Tou 'will let Tour felfbe carried off by the
great Number of Acheifts, Deifts, Indif-
f erents, and Debauchees among us, whofe
^vile Manners and Con'verfation he de-*
fcribes in this golden Book. My Lord, in
fuch an Age as thisy Tou mujl prepare
Your * Soul againft the Temp- * Ecdcfiaiii-
tations of thefe Men, from ^"s"^-
A 4 'which J *

The DEDICATlONr

nxihich, hy the Grace of God, Ton ha^ve
hitherto prefer^ved^ and I truft^ 'will al*
ivays prefer've Tour Self^ though they luill
he fure to ufe all their ArtSy particularly
that mojl dangerous one of Flattery ^ to fe-
duce ToUy and to ajfail Tour Virtue mjith
all their Force and Skill, But God^ if
Ton feeh His Ajjijlancey and Tour cwn
Chrfjtian Courage and Refclutiony nrill fe-
cure Tour Lordfiip from them ; and that
Tou may Hue to he a bright y heroick and
jfeady Example of Chrijlian Fietyy in a
mofl kicked and degenerate A gey Jhall he
thd conjlant ana moft hearty Prayery My
Lord, of

Your Lordfhip's

Mofl Obedient Servant,

Geo. Hickes.

THE

PUBLISHER

TO THE

GENTRY

Gentlemen,

PROVIDENCE having put the fol-
lowing Dialogues into my Hands, I take
the Boldnefs to offer them to the View of
the Publick under your Protection. They were
only intended by the Author for the private In-
firuftion of a young Nobleman, on whom they
have wrought fuch admirable Effecfls, that it*s
Pity, methinks, to bury them in Privacy, and
to confine them to one Clofet. The Author's
Defign is charitable, I am fure ; but whether he
has been happy in Execution, I wholly leave to
your Judgments. He runs through the Duty of
a Gentleman, and of a Chriftian ; he points at the
Ihorteft Way to Greatnefs and Goodnefs, and fur-
nifhes you with Materials to live with Honour in
this World, and in Glory in the next.

Seeing

Th FuUtJher to theGm tky.

Seeing therefore this Treatife comes on fo
kind an Errand, it will, I prefume, meet with
a civil Reception *, for MefTengers of good News
are feldom unwelcome.

But nothing has embolden*d me fo much to
call thefe Pages at your Feet, as lincere Tender-
nefs for your Perfons. It*s Wifdom to have an
Antidote at Hand, when we fufpedl Poifon v and
dangerous to vifit a Peft-houfe without a Prefer--
vative. Alas, Gentlemen, you fuck in Poifon,
you live in Infedlion ; IVealth, Grandeur, and
Example plot your Ruin, and Flattery difguifes
the Danger ; lewd Books are of the Cabal, they
dart Poifon to the Heart through the Avenues
of the Eyes, and convey Death through Plea-
fure.

In St. Peter's Days the Devil made his Round
to pray on the unwary, but now he has almofl
eafed himfelf of that Labour •, he afts no more
in Perfon, but by Deputy •, he has commiflion'd
Poets to rhime you into Deftrudion, and fees Li-
bertines to argue you into Hell •, and certainly
he has had greater Succefs againfl Mankind, un-
der the Shape of an Author, than of a Lyon 5
your Clofets are ftock'd with defaming Lam-
poons, lewd PlaySy and Icandalous Poems ; you
read thefe hellifh Papers with Pleafure and
Tranfport ; they foften Nature, emafculate the
Mind, and by Degrees metamorphofe the Rea-
der into as errant a Beaft as the Poet •, the Style
charms, the Expreflion is lufcious, and the Con-
trivance no lefs inviting than the Subjed. All
thefe petty Artifices confpire to enflame Scnfe,
to enliven Paflion, and debauch the Will.

Again, to whet Appetite, and increafe Defire,
Care is taken to fet off Ladies with all the Allure-
ments

^he Puhllfher to the Gentrv.

merits of Eafinefs and Condefcendency ; they arc
difcarded not only of Modefty, but of Shame ;
fo that, if the Originals refemble the Copies, if
the Sex be as ill prepared for Defence at Home,
as on the Stage, the Conqueft will be made with-
out the Expence o^ Artillery or Bombs.

But this is not enough ; the Poets take upon
'em the Office of Engineers too ; they trace out
the Approaches, point the Cannon, order the At-
tack, and then cry, Gentlemen^ fall on: For why-
do they expofe not only to the Eyes in the Play-
Houfe, but in Print* paft Brutalities, but to per-
fuade you to aft them over again ? And why do
they enter upon Particulars, but to Ihew you the
Method ? They ranfack Mulberry Gardens^ Ep-
fom-lVells, and other publick Scenes of Debau-
chery, for the Subjeft of your Entertainment j
their Plots and Counter-plots are only laid to
trepan Women, and gull Heireffes ; befides, few
licentious Intrigues mifcarry. This is a fly Innu"
endo to the Audience and the Reader, that Suc-
cefs will certainly wait upon their Attempts, and
by confequence 'tis a ftrong Provcation' to enter
upon Adion.

And becaufe Nature has ftamp'd on the Face
of Vice, Deformity and Horror, thefe ungrate-
ful Features are fhaded with charming Appella-
tions i the Sins lie out of fight under a Varnifh,
and nothing appears but the Pleafure. For this
Reafon the moft overt Invitations to Evil muft
be chriften*d. Billets deux ; Lewdnefs muft be
lliled Gallantry^ and the Stews Places of Diverji-
on. Why are innocent Names put on criminal
Things, but to confound Notions ; but to gild
over Dilhonefty, as Apothecaries do Pills, that it
may go down without any Checks or Convulfi-
pns of Confcience ? feeing

*Ihe Puhlifher to the GiurKY,

Seeing you thus clofely befieged on all Sides,
and Handing on the Brink of Deftrudtion ; and,
what is worfe, void of Fear ; nay, lulled into a
mortal Lethargy, without any Apprehenfion of
your Danger, I have brought thefe Dialogues to
your Refcue, and may aflure you with fome
Confidence, they'll prove moll ufeful, and high-
ly beneficial, if you will vouchfafe to perufe *em
with unprejudiced Minds, and unbiafs'd Affec-
tions.

They lay before your Eyes the moft impor-
tant Parts of your Duty, both to God and Men j
the Snares of the World, and Wiles of the Devil ;
the Caufes of your Mifcarriage, and fure Me-
thods either to prevent or retrieve them. And
what can you defire more, but a fincere Refoluti-
on to apply thefe Remedies that are defcrib'd ?

I am fenfible we live in an Age devoted to Cen-
fure and Criticifm, and therefore I have thought
fit to obviate an Ohje^ion or two : Some may
think the Author treats Quality with too much
Freedom, and Nobility with too little Refped: :
Bat, Gentlemen, pray remember, there is a great
Difference between your Perfons and your Vices i
thefe be Honours, not thofe.

It were ridiculous to compliment Criminals,
or to reverence Felons on the Hurdle ; your Fai-
lures are brought upon the Scaffold, not for Tri-
umph, but for Execution ; to receive Punifh-
ment, not Applaufe ; what Wonder then if he
handles roughly thofe Faults he condemns ? If
he tears off the Vizors that conceal a loathfome
Deformity under a falfe but tempting Superfi-
cies? He has a mind to difcountenance 111, to
withdraw you from the Embraces of thefe trea-
cherous Syrens, that enchant your Reafon, and

capti-

^he Publifher to the G'Ei^rK^,

captivate your Affeftions in oi'der to murder
your Souls ; that offer you imaginary Pleafures
to reward your Credulity with real Torments.
This is certainly a charitable Defign, but withal
impradicable, unlefs each Vice be haled to the
Bar, and all their Treafons^ Forgeries^ and Im-
pojlures be brought to Light, and proved upon
them as clear as the Day.

For, Gentlemen, give me leave to fpeak free-
ly, you love Vice under the -Mask, of Pleafure,
almolt to Dotage ; nothing can wean your Affec-
tions from its bewitching Charms, but a Demon-
ftratioh that you are mod wretchedly impofed
upon.

Others may perchance take it ill that the Au-
thor fports fometimes upon too ferious a Sub-
je6l, and by confequence tranfgreffes the Rules
of Decency.

But you mud confider we live in an Age that
ranks Serioufnefs among the Vices, and Raillery
among the Virtues. Alas, Gentlemen, the fpor-
five Facuhy takes place of tlie reafonahle -, Rifihile
and Rationale have chang'd Places fmce Arifio-
tle's Days ; the Propriety has flep'd into the De-
finition of Man, and banifh'd his moft effential
Ingredient among the jicculents : Reafon, with-
out Force, is out of Fafhion ; it muft appear in
a Scaramouches Drefs to obtain an Audience, and
mufl. bring Delight as well as Inflrudion to be
welcome.

The Author condefcends to your Weaknefs,
and furely you will not cenfurc his Civility, nor
burlefque his Judgment, for paying Deference
to your Quality •, befides, he is fenfible, Vice has
been laugh'd into Praftice and Reputation, and
Virtue into Contempt : Why therefore may not

Virtue

fhe TuhUfher to the Glut Kyt,

Virtue regain its Pofl by the fame Method it
loll it ? And why may not the Gentry be fported
into their Duty, as they have been rallied out of
it ? Some Poifons call for 'Treacle^ others for
Fire ; but that of the 'Tarantula muft be fetch'd
out by Mufick. A Peal of Laughter enervates
the Force of this Neapolitan Venom, and a Brace
of Minutes expel it. Who knows but your Di-
itcmper is of the fame Nature ? At leaft, defpe-
rate Difeafes are proper for Experiments ; and
tho* no Remedy fucceeds, it's a Satisfadion to
have applied all.

In fine, I fling this Treatife at your Feet, and
if you will be pleafed to perufe it with Leifure
and Reflcftion, it may not only furnilh you
with Inftrudion, but with Pleafure ; not fuch in-
deed as courts Senfe, and gratifies the beaftial
Part, but fuch as is proportioned to the fu-
pream and leading Faculty i fuch as feaft a Souly
and regales an Intelligence.

Your fnofl humble Servant,

I T. D.

THE

THE

PREFACE-

GI V E me Leave, dear Reader, to ujher its
the following Conferences with a Chara5fer
of the Author. He is dead, and by confe-
quence cut of the Reach of Vanity ; and as the Re-
gularity of his Life gives no hold to Satyr, fo the
Excellency of his Virtues raife him above Flattery,
Many Reafons perfuade me to conceal his Name^
but more to -publijh his rare Merits.

Example has flrange Attra^ives ; the Way to
Virtue by Precepts, as the Philofopher not^, is long,
but by Example, Jhort and eafy ; like the Laconick
DiaUtl, it exprejfes much in a little, and drives Ar-
guments more home than Logick or Rhetorick.
Seeing therefore. Gentlemen have continually before
their Eyes fo many Statues of Vice in all FoJlureSy
it*s time to prefeut them with one of Virtue, that
they may be convinced. Piety is within their Tieacb^
as well as within their Obligation ; and that they
may live within the Circle of their Duty, without
jiepping out of the fVorld, or debarring themfelves
the Freedom o/" Society and Converfation.

And, indeed, the Life of this Gentleman is ei plain
and Jianding Evidence, that Men transform Palaces
into Places of Debauchery, not Palaces Men into

DebaU'

ne PREFACE.

"Debauchees ; and that Courts would he innocent^ if
Courtiers could refohe to remain fo.

Eufebius was of a Family as antient as the Con-
quejl, and what is particular^ in all the civil Wars
and Revolutions of State^ his Ancefiors were fo hap-
fy, as to Jlandby their Prince in fpight of Fa^ion
and Interejl ; nor could they ever be prevailed upon
to part with their Loyalty for any Frofpe5l of Pre-
ferment ; they chofe rather to fall in the Defence of
Jujiice^ than to triumph with profperous Ufurpers,

Eufebius had the good Fortune to be born of a
Mother^ whofe Wijdom vied with her Piety, and
both indeed were extraordinary : She trained him up
from the Cradle in the Duties of a Chrijlian, and^
I may fay, he both, loved God, and feared him, f§
foon as he was able to frame a right Notion of bis Per-
feSiion ; and thefe firfi Impreffions funk fo deep, that
neither Age nor Employments were able to wear them

"ff-

He was fent to the Univerfity under the Conduct of
a prudent Governour, who endeavoured, by Precept
and Example, to improve in him thofe Seeds of Vir-
tue, his Mother had fcwed fo early. He applied
himfelf to Philofophy with Eagernefs and Appetite,
and made a Progrefs anfwerable to his piercing Wit
and affiduous Application \ yet he always looked on
Learning as the AccelTory, and Piety as the Prin-
cipal ; that, he /aid, was a rneer Embellifhment,
this an indifpenfiUe Duty : So that in Reality, this
was his Bufinefs, that his Diverfwn.

Tet he was none of thofe Plodders, who feem to
disband from Company, and to forfivear Converfati-
cn, who place Virtuje in Sournefs, and confound
Piety with Spleen : No, he was free, eafy, and
chearful, and never refifed to partake ofthoje Sports
that recreate the Mind, and eafe the Body, without

. P?'ejudice

7%^ P R E F A C E.

Prejudice to Confcience. To pawn Innocence for
PJeafure, /aid he^ is to over- rate the one, and to
undervalue the other : To laugh whilft we fin,
is, in fome fort, to renew the barbarous Cruelty
of Nero f who play'd while Rome burn'd -, or the
foolifh Temerity of the Indian Philofopher, who
fung on the Funeral Pile.

Indeed^ fuch an unufual ConduEl was gazed at^ in
a Place where Touth gives more time to the FraEiice
<^Epicurus'j Morals^ than to the Study of Arifto-
tJe'j Philofophy •, or where at leajl Learning is more
a-la-mode than Piety ; hut this Admiration foon
pafs^d into EJleefn^ and he who atfirjl wa^ look d on
as a Monlter, in Vrocefs oftimewasjliledan Angel.

He left the Univerfity to vifit the Camp^ and
made fever al Campaigns under N. N. Neither In-
tereft nor Ambition called him into the Field ; the
only Ahn of his Refoluiion was to learn the Myfle-
■ ries of War ^ that he 7night he one Day in a Capacity
to ferve his Prince with Honour, and his Country
with Succefs.

Vitty feldom follfiws an Army\ Soldiers feem to
leave Confcience in their Winter-Barters^ as well
as Religion^ that they may fin without Check, and he
damned without Ap-prehenfion. Eufebius difappro-
ved this ill Husbandry. Our Care, faid he,
mud rife with the Danger, and feeing we are
not affured of an Hour, it's Madnefs to neglect
our Soul one Moment. I fuppofe, continued he
to a Friend^ when we put on a red Coat, we put
not off Chriflianity, nor receive a Commiflion
from God to live at Pleafure, when we enter in-
to the Service of our Prince : No, no, let us die
like Men, but live like Chriftians, this is the on-
ly way to leave an honourable Memory in this
World, and to find a glorious Reception in the
next, [ a ] Hn

T'y^^ P R E F A C E.

His Life in the Camp was anfwerahle to his Prin-
ciples ', heprafi half an Hour on his Knees Morning
and Evenings and never omitted to he prefent at
publick Prayers, when he was not on Duty ; he
would never fuffer either prophane er ohfcene Dif-
courfe : For, faid he, it's hard to hear without
Sin thofe Things that cannot be fpoke without
Offence ; to permit Crimes is to abet them.
IVhen he could not excufe an Officer *j Fault, he al-
ways leffen'd it, and fpoke ill of no Body but him-
felf. He cojnpar'^d Detractors to your Italian Bra-
voes, who attack People behind, and ftab Bodies at
unawares, whilji thofe kill a Man*s Reputation.

One Day an Offcer told him. War called for
Courage, not Vertue ; that Refolution carried
the Day, not Confcience.

That is, replied he. Ambition challenges the
Time of War, Diverfion the Time of Peace,
and Sin every Moment of your Life ; but then
who will claim the Mo4nent of your Death ?
God. Alas, Sir, you'll neither have the Time
nor the Thought to difpofe of it fo advantage-
pufly, as you live in Sin, fo in all Probability
you'll die in it. You are miftaken. Sir, Sin en-
ervates the Mind, not Piety ; and could we read
the Thoughts of our Soldiers, we fhould find
too lictle Confcience drove more of them out
of the Field at the Battle of N. tlian too much.
A Man muf^ be either an Atheift, or mad, to
front Danger in Sin.

F.ufebius proved beyond Demonftnation thai Vir-
tue is no Enemy to Valour \ he breathed nothing but
Sieges, Battles, and Expeditions -, he went to Com-
bats with as compofed a Countenance, as others
fnarch to 'Triumphs ; and^ like Hannibal, was the
frjl in the Field, and thslajl out of it ; he generally

nsk'd

3^/^<? P R E F A C E.

^,sPd the moft dangerous Poji, and fought Penlsy aS
if he had a mind to fall ^ yet he always came off ivith
Safety and Applaufe ; Providence feemed to have
made him Proof againfl Ball and Sword y and his
Virtue arnr'd him againfl Fear.

Being challenged once to a Duel, he anfw&r^d cold-
ly. Sir, though I fear not your Sword, I trem-
ble at my Maker's Anger ; I dare venture my
Life in a good Caufe, but cannot hazard m^"
Soul in a bad one. PJl charge up to the Can-
non's Mouth, but want Courage to ftorm HelJ.
And when a Friend told him, he mufi either fight,
or forfeit his Honour: You are millaken, replied
Eufebius, I'll gain Honour by my Difgrace, and
fhew the World I am no Coward, by daring
Cenfure and Obloquy. He is couragious and
brave, who (lands up for Confcience againft the
falfe but prevailing Maxims of Cuftom and Opi-
nion ; not he who betrays his Duty, and dreads
tnore an imaginary Imputation than a real Crime.
Eufebius returned from the Army with Glory, and
hrought off his P iety in Triumph', he was received
hy his Mafier with open Arms, and advanced to an
honourable Pofi ; he laboured for his BenefaSfor'' s In-
ter efi, not his own -, and ufed to fay. The Pi- i nee
ihould always carry off the Profit, and the Sub-
jedl the Glory of doing well.

He could not endure to pur chafe Attendants with
fair Promifes, and then to reward their Expeulation
ivith Difappointment •, his Intentions were as fincere
as his tVords, andhe never promifed a Favour, hut
he defigned it ; he could not endure to tantalize Pre-
tcndants with gay Hopes, and in the End difmifs
them with an airy Complejnent. This is, faid he,
to fpend their Time, and drain their Purfe with
infignificant Waiting, to tempt their Paiisncej
[ a 2 1 and

Th V RE F A C K

and in the End to draw them to be your Enc-*
mies.

Eufebius found at iajl, that Innocence is not a-
hove the reach of Envy, and that in Courts Virtue
is often pmifhed, and Vice rewarded. A Club of
Courtiers caballed againfl hifn, and perfuaded the
Prince to difcard him, He bore this Dijgrace with
an Evennefs of Temper, that fur prized his Enemies.,
and, like the Sun in an Eclipfe, all gazed on hiin
with Adfniration. 'Though he was overpowered, he
could not be overcome. He looked brighter under a
Cloud, than in the full Meridian of his Grandeur,
and all concluded he was no lefs in Misfortune, than
he had been in the higheji Splendor of Glory.

A Friend tempted him toftrike in with a Fa^ion
againjl his Prince •, but he received the Propofition
with Indignation and Horror. No, faid he, I had
rather be wretched without a Fault, than great
with a Crime : Duty called me to my Mailer's
Service, not Interell ; and I'll rather pawn my
Life, than forfeit my Loyalty ; my high Pre-
tenfions lie in the other World, not in this ; my
Prince raifed me to a confiderable Fortune, now
he thinks fit to difcharge me, Pll thank him for
the Favour, and not repine at his Juftice. I ac-
cepted the Station at his Command with Grati-
tude, and I quit it with Refignation.

He was received again into Favour ; yet this un-
expe^ed Turn wrought no Alteration in his Humour ;
he rofewith the fame Unconcernednefs he fell-, he was
above the Charms of Frofperity, and Proof againfi
the Stroke of Adverfity:, neither good Fortune puft
him up, nor bad deprefs^d him -, he never thought of
revenging thofe Affronts he had received from his Ri-
vals, but iftd his Power with Moderation, and re-
turned Civility for Unkindncfs.

He

fkVK'EFACE,

He retired at the Revolution from Buftnefs, an^
gave Jmnfelf wholly to the Practice of Virtue ; he was
advanc d in TearSy and refolv'd to devote the remain-
der of his Days to Eternity. I may die foon, faid
he, but cannot live long ; it's Prudence therefore
to manage every Moment as the lafl, becaufe it
may be fo. He difcharged his Debts i?nf?iediately\
faying. This was too prefling and too important a
Bufinsfs to be trufted to an Hour's Integrity,
that many fuffer in the next World for a Sue-
ceflbr's Negledl in thris.

One that liv'd fo well, could not die ill %for every
Man's Death is a Copy of his Life, and exa^ly re~
fembles the Original. In his lafl Sicknefs he fhewed
all the Bravery of a Soldier, and all the Piety of a
Chriftian ; he hore the Dolours of his Difiemper not
only with Patience, hut Tranfport, and looked Death
in the Face with the fame Undauntednefs he often be-
held the Enemy in Battle. Sir, faid he to his Ne-
phew ftanding, remember you are born to the
fame Fate, you may read your Deftiny in mine ;
you v/ill once be in the fame Circumflances you
fee me ; you know not when you muft take the
lad Farewel of Life -, Death fteals upon us like a
Thief, and flrikes without Noife, without Warn-
ing. Seeing therefore you are never fecure, be
always prcpar'd, leave nothing to Chance or Ha-
zard -, a Surprize is pofTible, and, what is worfe,
irreparable. Never pretend to fhew your Wit
by diluting Principles, nor think you own your
Reafon molt, when you leaft own your Faith ;
this is to place Wit in Folly, and Reafon in Im-
piety. Pracftice Virtue, this is your only Bu(i-
nefs, it will make you content in this World,
and open a fair Profpe<5t of Felicity to the next.

Hij

fhe PREFACE.

His Words, feem^d tip with Fire, they pierced the
Hearts of all that were ■prefent, and warmed their
Affe5fions ; whiljl all mourned, he alone was joyful.
In fine, recommending his Soul to the Mercy of his
Redeemer, he gently expired, leaving behind a Pat-
tern for Gentlejnen's Imitation. Thus died Eufebius,
a Scholar, Soldier, and Courtier, and in all thefe
States a Saint.

Let Gentlemen learn hy this Exa??iple, they may he
Great and Good •, and that they tjiay difcharge them-
felveswith Glory of all the Offices of Society, without
betraying the Duty of a Chrijiian.

THE

THE

CONTENTS.

fpAith ionjuted hyTraEl'ice p. 5
* Virtue may ba praBifed i»
1'o'Wns as well as in Deferts 5
I'he Tart of a Gentleman 7
Not io bjaft of Family 8

Nor Performances 9

Io avoid O.iths and Curfes 10
How to fpend Time 1 5

Reading recommended ibid.
Not to he Covetousy nor Pre
fu/e 1 7

{Recreations 1 8

Gaming 1 9

C loathing 2 1

Falfe Notions of Honour 2 z
Of Duelling 25

itbe CharaUer of Bmus 24
Duties of a Chrijlian 25

Heaven and Helt^ why defcribed

in Scripture 2 7

'True Virtue^ what 29

Of Rejignation and Suhmijfion

to God 30, 32

God the bejl Friend to Men 5 I
His Ubiquity 32

Of Debauchees 3 5

God's Grace^ and Aians Co-

operationj neceffary to pre

dure Repentance. 35

The Cafe of the Penitent Tkiff

Miftakes about Religion 39,40

It confijis r.8t in mere Ncg..'

iivts 41

A Gentleman's true B'/flnefs

4^, 47

IVfjether Gentlemen are obliged

fopraBife Vittue 42

And Lades, the fame 'y6

Of Duties to Neighbours 6x

Univerfrl Love ibid;

Againji DetraBion dj

Of the Sources of Detraffion,

viz. Pride and Envy 71,72

Of Thefty Injufiicey and Op'

prejpcn 75

Of Reftitution 77

Of Lewdnefs and Fornication 79

Prefervatives againfl Leivdntfs

81

Of the PlayHoufe 82

Of infiruBing Children and

Servants 84, §7

Of Charity^ and its Meafure

Chrijlian Behaviour out of

Fafhion Z9

The Cham Bcr of an Atheijl 92

The Supplement.

Ives of Chrijiians contradic- Cards y become a Calling J2l

•f-* tory to their Faith 1 1 3
The worth and ufe of Time 1 1 5
Ladies Employment in the Aborn-
ing and Ever.ing 1 1 7 , 1 1 8
Jfith their Bufinefs at Church
ISO

Inflames of brave Women 125
Bad Education ythe Caufe of La-
dies Mif demean our 127
Remedies ad-vifed the Ladies :
Ory The Ob^acks of Virtue
removed 1 3 *
Pojitive

The CONTENTS.

"BcfitlveDHties recommendedi^
Humility 148

Modejiy 1 5 5

Rules for Ladies dally l*ra~

Bice
The Jjnty of a Mother
The Duties of a Sol diet-

157
J 75

The Duties of a Courtier 199

The Second Part

ir^T^iIether any real Atheifts
^ 249

One Religion only favino 5 3 5

Proofs of a Deity.
ijl Vroofi from the milvirfal

Confent of Mankind ^ 35^
Notion ofGody not merely jrom

Education 365

Nor from State-Folicy 3 69
Tolythelfm 373

From ivhat Caufes 37 5

The Caufes of Error 377

S,d Proofy Of a Deity from the

Creation of the World 393
5^ Proof from the Characters of

PVifdoniy vifible in the Frame

and Conjlitution of the
World 406

^th proof. From Invention of
Arts and Sciences 4 1 Z

^th Proof y That the Wofldwaj
not Eternal 418

6th Proof 429

Atheijis Exceptions agabiji the
World's Creation confuted ^"^ 5

The Endy TJfe, and Defign of the
fniallejl vileji CreatureSy as
Fleas, Liccy Toadsy &C.44I

Vk Proof, viz. The palpable
A/if urdi ties which follow jrora
the Belief or Suppojition of no
God 446

The Thir

Qf^ Q^tng . Gentlemen d/Jfuaded
' from a Town Life 469
Should Jhun III Examples 473,
484
The Ml/chief of Plays 480
ToivnSparks 474, 48 z

Ladles In Hyde-Park 485
Vocal Muflck cenfurad 486
A Countrji Gentleman \, 4^9
Advice to Parents to fettle Chil-
dren In time 490
How to manage an EJlatc 493
A Duny defcribed 49 7
Of Dice 505
^ufebius'j ConduEl in the
Houfe ibid.
R''fieciions onLawyers 512,518
Good Rules for Lawyers 527

D Part.

of Reflitution 530

Eufebius'i Behaviour to Neigh-
bours 555
Excejfve Drinking 556
A drutiken Crew 537
Eufcbins J Recreations 539
How to tak3 the Death of a he- ■

loved R'i.xtion 541

Of Ph\fi:iansy and their A-ie-
tho'ds 54-

Ol T^aveUing 544

Rules for Travellers 55?

Of the Soul's hi:njortality 5 5^
The Soul is Immaterial 5 ? I
Man compared withBeafls 574-
Difference of Men from Brajls
577-

T H E

( I )

THE

Gentleman Inftru^ed, &c

D I A L O G U E I.

Neander, a young Gentleman^ dejirei Eufebius /o ;;?/7r«^
him in the Duty of a Gentleman.

W

Etifebius. IJf If "T" E L C O M E, dear Neayider ;

what fair Wind has blown me

the Favour of fo early a Vifit ?

This is extraordinary.

Neander. Pray, why fo ? my Bufmefs has been up

and abroad thefe two Hours ; is it not high time to

follow it ?

Euf. Ah! but our Town-Sparks have fomething of
the Ovjly they rife at Night, and lie down in the Morn-
ing : They obferve a moll exa6l Symmetry in Diforder,
and \\\.t Lobftcrs go backwards ; in a word, they turn
Nature topfie-turvie, or read i^ backwards : It's genteel
and modifh to out-fleep the Sun, and an Argument of
Peafantry to do like other Men.

Nean. I have left the College too lately- to be ac-
quainted with the Cuftoms of the Town : I have not o-
pen'd the Ceremonial^ nor perufed the Ritual alamode ;
yet methinks, to turn Night into Day is an odd A^eta-
morphoiis; Nature, fure, never intended Eyes for Dark-
nefs : Gloeworms indeed are obliged to Night, it fets 'em
off, and makes their faint Luftre fparkle with more Eclat.
But why Men (hould dote on Shades, and range in Ob-
fcurity, I can't divine, unlefs they long to duel with
Pefts, and try a Rubber at Loggerheads ; in ihort, it's a
battifh Humour, and jars with my Constitution.

• B E»f^i,

2 T'he Gentleman In/^ru^ed.

Eufeb. For all that, you muft take up with Night, and
bereconcil'd to Darknefs, if you intend to Hand fair with
our own 'Fown-Sparks j they are of the Family oiMaga-
ra, true Sons of Night and Erebus. Light lirikes too hard
on their Eyes, it dazles 'em like Opium : It even works on
the Brain and ftupifies ; but then, towards the Evening
they return to themfelves, and adjourn to the Tavern, and
from thence lally out upon theV/atch,and manfully ftorm
Glafs-windows. In fine, their Bufinefs and Reafonfleep
in the Day, and rife when wife Men go to Bed.

Now I fuppofe you intend to enter into the Confraterni-
ty, you'll not want moil kind Invitations : Thefe Blades lie
on the Catch ; and place Centinels on Oxford Road to give
Notice when a Prize draws near ; that is, when a Gen-
tleman leaves the College ; and then they fly to the inno-
cent Youth like Eagles to the (^arry ; they proffer their
Service, admire his Parts, compliment him into Snares,
wheedle him into Debauchery, empty his Pockets, wound
his Soul, and ftab his Reputation; and when they have
martyr'd his Innocence, and imbezzl'd his Eftate, kick
him out of their Company, and fo exit the young 'Squire.

Nean. A Man, I fee, muft carry his Wits about him
at Loftdon ; he muft ftand on his Guard to prevent a Sur-
prize, and fufpedt Friends, not to be ovcr-reach'd by
Enemies : Like the Lion he muft fleep with his Eyes open :
Well, a Danger forefcen is half avoided. Eufehius, I
have been dilbrder'd lince my Arrival, and thought laft
Night more Hours, than I flept Minutes.

Eufeb. What ! are you fmitten fo foon ? Some Female
Beauty has, I fuppofe, Ktorm'd your Heart, and Good-
nature has beat the Chamade. The Articles are, no doubt,
drawn up and figned, unlefs perchance you refolve to fur-
render at Difcretion: But, in good earneft, has Liberty
given you a Surfeit? Has Freedom gall'd you ? Will you
try how neatly you can dance in Fetters, and caper in
Trammels? This is a Sample of Univeriity Breeding ;
your Collegians are a pack of aukward Animals, full of
Wit, but without Judgment to manage it; one would
think they ftudied not to grow wife, but Fools ; to lofe
their Reafon, or to forget the Ufe of it. They no fooner
enter into the World, but, like Children, they chace every
Butterfly, and run on the Spur to their Ruin. Ah, dear
Neander \ take Care j a precipitate Choice makes way

for

fhe Gentleman In fir ticked, 3

for a long Repentance ; ftifle the firft Sparks of Lo^'e,
time will quickly fan them into a Flame; a green Wound
is eafily healed, but a fellered one ends in a Gangrene.

Nean. Under Favour, you run riot on ^ falfe Conjec-
ture. I am not Heart-fick, butTown-fick.

Eufeb. Town-fick ! this is, without peradventure, an
outlandifh Diftemper ; there is not one Reape for it in
our Zo»iJ/o» Difpen fa to ry: However, the Dileafe is not
dangerous, for I find no mention of it in our Weekly Bills
of Mortality. In what Mould, for God's Sake, were
you caft ? furely you are of fome more refined, more Ce-
Icftial Temper than other Gentlemen, without Senfe,
without Pafiion ; in fine, all Angel, all Seraphin.

Nean. Not fo neither.

Euj'eb. What then ?

Nean. Why, Sir ; I am a Man, fubjeftto all the Infir-
mities of human Nature; but I would not willingly fur-
render my Reafon, nOr quit the Privilege of Nature ; I
would not throw up my Claim to Heaven for any earthly
Pretcnfion ; in fine, I have no Inclination to go to Grafs
wiXhNebiichodomzor , nor to lie in the fame Bed with
Brutes : I am a A4an by Nature, and a Chriftian byGrace,
and would neither debar my Reafon, nor throw a Scandal
upon my Profeffion: In a word, I'll fave my Soul.

Eufeb. Neander^ let me embrace thee; I was juft
lighting a Candle (as Dioge'/ies did at Athens) to find a
Man in London. I thought Piety had taken leave of out
Nation, and that Chriftianity had flown over to the Con-
tinent; but, God bethank'd, we have left among us one
Man, and one Chriftian ; fo that the whole Species is nor
cxtinft. We live in a mad World, without Method,
without Order ; we feem to play at crofs Queflions : Vir-
tue and Vice have changed Places, and almoft NameSj
and even Wit is confounded with Folly ; Reafon confifts
no more in the Ule, but in the Abufe of it. Gentlemen
debauch themfelves into Credit, and draw Fame from
Impiety ; the whole Bufinefs of Chriftians lies in confut-
ing their Belief by their Practice: Thefe monftrous Ir-
regularities have, more than once, moved me to lulpecl,
that the moft wile and thinking Part of Mankind is coop'd
u;^ in Bedlam, whilft Mad-men and Fools range about
the I'own in Coaches,

B 2 Thii

4 T'^^ Gentleman InflruBed,

This Man whines away at a Strumpet's Feet his Eftate,
his Health, and his Soul too; another drowns his Rcaibn
in Claret and Canary ; he plays the Brute all the Week,
and rifesa Man on Sunc/ay Morning; a third delivers him-
lelf up to his Palate, and condemns his Wit to drudge for
his Gluttony, he judges of Meats by the Price, not by
the Tafte ; and thofe only regale his Appetite that drain
his Purfe; his Study is to provoke Hunger, not to lay it,
and leldom rifes from the Table till a Surfeit forces him
to call for a Bafott,

A fourth has perchance received the Lye^ and in a HufF
hauls out for Satisfa6lion, /. e. a Stab ; the Stage is pre-
pared, and up the He.^ors '}\xmp with drawn Swords, like
the RomAfi Slaves, to give Diverfion to the Spedlators:
If this be not Folly and Madnefs without Mask or Dif-
guife, pray give me their Definition ; it's hard to deter-
mine whether this Condudt be a fitter Objeiffc for Hera-
clitus's Tears, or Democrltus's Laughter; it's a Compound
of Farce and Tragedy, but a Vein of Folly runs through-
out the whole Mafs.

Religion keeps pace with our Reafon,and is juft regard-
ed.as much. Methinks ourWorfhip fmells fomethingofPa-
ganifm, for we adore God, as the Heatnens did Hercules^
with Showers of Stones and Brickbats, viz. of Oaths
and Blafphemies ; this is the only Homage we think fit to
pay our Maker; and indeed it is a kind of Recognizance,
and is lb far commendable, as it puts us in mind there is
fuch a thing to believe in, and to pray to, as well as to
fwe'ar by. Now, why we fhould be fo fparing of our
Prayers is a hard Qiieltion.

Some may perchance imagine the Pofture of a Suppli-
ant is below an Englijh Courage ; befides, it's an uneafy
F'igure, and argues much Want or great Covetoufnefs,
two heavy Imputations for a Gentleman ; moreover.
Kneeling is a Mark of Subjedion and Bafenefs ; for I
was once told, that a Yeoman on his Legs was taller and
greater than a Prince on his Knees: This is a rough
Draught of our Town Wit and Religion, without one
Dafh of Satyr, or Hyperbole; they are- both at a low
Ebb, and God knows when the Tide will turn. Neander,
Hand on your Guard, and look to your Confcience, as
well as to your Purfe ; for I allure you, the one is in lefs
Danger than the other i unlefs you carry a watchful Eye

over

^he Gentleman InjlruEied. s

over your Thoughts and Anions, you will fall into Snares
that are laid to entrap Innocence.

Nean. However, furely God has not tied up our Duty
to ImpofTibilities ; he tells us, his Yoke is eafy, and his
Burden light ; and then aflures us, by the Mouth of his
Apoftle, that our Power is always equal at leaft to the
Temptation ; we may therefore difcharge our felves of all
the Offices of Life and Converlation, without over-look-
ing the Duty of a Chriftian ; for certainly God never
framed our Tongue for Silence, nor our Reafon for So-
litude ; we may handle them both rights as well as vjrong^
and employ them to a good ufe, no lefs than to an ill
one. I hope there is no Neceffity of failing into Egypt ^
and of taking up in the Wildernefs of Thebais ; nor of
running into a Convent^ or of receiving Holy Orders at
Rome; for though thefe good Fathers may walk pretty
fecurely to Heaven, yet I underlland they make the Voy-
age alone : Now I feel no Charms in Celibacy , and be-
fides, they are by Law difleized not only of their Birth-
right, but even of the Benefit of the Clergy ; fo that they
can claim no Liberty but that of the Prifon, no Property
but the Gallows. I have no Inclination to fling up my
Eftate, and as little to lay it at the Mercy of greedy Fa-
vourites; nor to fly to Heaven by the way oiTybiim : I
would not withdraw from Society, not' forfwear Compa-
ny, nor, like old 'Timon^ disband from my own Species.

Eufeb. You have Reafon ; God condemns us not as
' Pharaoh, to the Drudgery of making Bricks without fur-
nifliing us with Materials ; he proportions his Grace to
our Wants, and never commands us to fight on unequal
Terms ; the Advantage lies on our fide, and if we give
our Adverfary the higher Ground, our Defeat muft lie at
our own Door ; we may be overcome, but can't be over-
powered ; our Cowardife gives Temptation the Day,
not our Weaknefs.

Befides, Virtue is not confin'd to Place or Condition ;
it may be praftifed in Towns as well as in Defarts;
and no lefs by Courtiers than Peafants ; nay, it fhines,
methinks, in a Palace, like the Sun in thQ Meridian,
with Pomp and Majefty ; for what can even Fancy paint
more charming and more glorious than Grandees, nei-
ther abjedt in Adverfity, nor infolent in Profperity ; than
Courtiers peaceable in the Noife of Affairs, temperate in
B 3 thd

6 The Gentleman Infru^ed.

the midft of Excefs, unchangeable in Viciflitudes, and
conftant in all the Turns of Fortune ; untainted with
Lulls, compofed in Tumults, and fmiling at all thofe
things, that are either expected or feared by others; than
Men who have the Power to do what they will, and the
Will to do nothing but what is juft and reafonable ? This
is no Platonic but a Chriftian Virtue ; it is not only found
in Fidion and Romance, but has been commended to
Pradice ; it has appeared more than once onom Horizoft,
fupported by Dignity," and waited on by all the Magnifi-
cence of Power and Royalty : You may therefore hold
your Eftate, without flinging up your Title to Heaven,

Nean. Indeed, had Providence cut off my Claim to
Heaven, when it intruiled me with a Lordjhip^ I ihould
have been no Gainer by the Bleffing ; notwithilanding
though Virtue be in my Power, if Vice be in my Will,
I fhall, without Queftion, be miferable : Let me there-
fore defire you to favour me with fome Rules, by
which I mayfhape my Courfe; you have ftemm'd the
Tides of Youth, and beat back Temptation with Cou-
rage and Succefs; thofe Waves that have pafs'd by you,
rufh on me ; fo that the Danger is certain, my Efcape
doubtful. I fling myfelf into your Arms. I have at lealt
learned the firfl Lefibn of Prudence, viz. to fubmit to
the Advice of thofe whom Age and Experience have fuf-
ficiently inllruiled.

Eufeb. A-ly Age is on its Declenfion, yet I am not,
God be thanked, afliamed to live, or afraid to die : I
neither contemn Life, nor over-value it ; and therefore
tX'^Q&i my quietus e/^ with Patience, and will welcome
my Difcharge. I have withdrawn from the Huriy and
Tumult of worldly Affairs, and now lead a retired, but
not an ignoble Life : I gave my laft Farewel to the Court,
not by Force, but Choice ; and indeed, it deferves no
Thought but of Contempt. I have tailed of bad Fortune,
and of good ; but never placed my Happinefs in the one,
or my Mifery in the other ; nor have I entred into the
World like a Mute, meerly to fill the Stage: No, I
once made no contemptible Figure by my Prince's Bene-
volence, and tho' in the Confufion of the Government,
J fell from my Poll, I carried ofi'my Honelly inTriumph,
^nd expofed my Ellate tofecure my Loyalty ^ yet, God
beprais'd, I am not brought to the Basket; though' I

had

The Gentleman Inftru^ed. 7

had rather live on Charity than Rapine, and wou'd foon-
er earn my Bread by the Sweat of my Brow, than of my
Confcience. In my Retirement, I have had occafion to
ftudy Things, and to reiieft on Men, qjid have made Ob-,
fervations on both, fo that. I am not quite unprovided of
thofe QuaUties the Office you impofe upon me requires :-
ril therefore take the Liberty to counfel you as a Friend,
not as a Mailer j let us retire into my Clofet.

DIALOGUE IL

Eufebius ittjlru^s Neander in the Duty of a Chrijiiafj.
Eufeb, ^rOV muft a6t tw© Parts ; of a Gentleman,

Y

latter at our next meeting, and at prefent only touch the
former. Some Gentlemen keep up to their Chnrader
without the advantageous Helps of Precepts, or Educa-
tion ; you may read their Birth on their Faces ; their
Gate and Mein tell their Quality ; they both charm and
awe, and at the fameTime demand Love and Reverence ;
their Extraction glitters under all Difguifes ; it fparkles
in Sack-cloth, and breaks through all the Clouds of Po-
verty and Misfortune; there is a /V nef^ay qmy in their
whole Demeaifour, that tears off the Vizor, and difco-
vers Nobility though it fculk incognito ; they are refer-
ved without Pride, and familiar without Meannefs; they
time their Behaviour to Circumftances, and know
when to Hand on Tip-toe, and when to Hoop : In fine,
their moft trivial Aftions are great, and their Difcourfe
is noble.

Others feem to be born Gentlemen to fliame Qtiality ;
one would fwear Nature intended to frame 'em for the
Dray, and Chance flung 'em into the World with an
EfcHtcheon : They are all of a Piece, Clown without, and
Coxcomb within ; and fo like Foplingtons are graced
with Titles to play» the y^pe by Patent : Thofe of the
iirft Clafs need no Precepts, and thofe of the fecond de-
ferve none ; however, Counfel may be ufeful to others ;
for Behaviour is acquired like other Arts, by Study and
Application.

B 4 I. To

S fhe Gentleman Inflru^ed,

I.

To begin the Part of a Gentleman, perfuade your
felf, it's your Duty and Intereft to ad: it well ; for
whoever looks upon it as a Matter of fmall Con-,
cern, will come off with Dif-efleem ; he will follow the
Bent of Nature, and fwim down the Stream of Inclina-
tion, rather than ftrlveagainft it; for who will baulk Hu-
mour, or fence againft ill Cufloms for nothing ? This I
take to be the Reafon, why fo many in Converfation fall
below their Station; they fancy a Title fupported with
Means, places them in a Region above the Niceties of
Breeding ; that a Sir gilds the moll unbefeeming Beha-
viour, and a Coronet dignifies Rufticity ; but this is a mi-
Hake ; for as Gentlemen Hand above the Crowd, fothey
lie more open to View and Cenfure : For A6lions are not
rated by Men, but Men by Aftions; and if thefe fmell
of the Clown, or fute with the Peafant, Right ^■^orpjip-
ful muft be content with thofe Titles ; for the Mob
knows well enough, that Gentlemen can claim no Refpedl
from Nature; they are all of the fame Matter, and the
Soul of a Lazarus is of as refined a Metal as that of
Dives ; and therefoi'e, if they fee no Advantage on Qua-
lity's fide, but a Coach and Six; they will be apt to think
themfelves as good Men as their Mafters, though not fo
rich ; and' that they are beholden more to Chance or In-
juftice for their Fortune, than to Merit.

IT.

Let not your Family be the Subjeft.of your Difcourfe,
nor fling the Regifters of your Genealogy on the Table
before all Company ; this Topick is both fulfom and
ungenteel; it's a fhrewd Argument you are big of Con-
ceit, and more obliged to your Anceliors for your Blood,
than for your Wit ; though your great Grandfather rode
Admiral at Sea with 2000/. per Annum^ if he has leftPo-
fterity no other Mark of his Greatnefs, but his Vices,
I fhall rank him among the moft wretched Creatures
that ever breathed ; feeing the Height of his Station only
raifed him above the Vulgar to proclaim his Shame, and
render his Infamy more perfpicuous; it is a Madnefs to
take the Meafure of our Deferts by the parts of our
Forefathers ; their perfonal Worth adds not one Hairs-
breadth

^he Gentleman InJruM, p

breadth to our Stature: We may enter upon their Eftates,
and perchance upon their Titles, but not upon their Vir-
tues ; thefe are neither entailed on the Family, nor alie-
nable by any Deed of Conveyance.

Befides, whoever rakes in the Afhes of the dead, may
fall upon the Stench inftead of Perfumes; for after En-
quiry, who knows but you may find the Source of your .
Nobility tainted with Treafon, and that the very Title
you bear is the price of Diiloyalty ? Now though accord- .
ing to the Proverb, Thofe Children are happy ivhofe Parents
are in Hell-^ yet certainly, a Son fhould not boaft of the
Purchafe, nor look big becaufe his Father is miferable: Let
your Anceftors therefore fleep in their Graves, and be not
fo foolifh as to difturb them by your Vanity ; adopt their
Virtues by Imitation and Practice, but have a care of their
Vices. I honour Nobility fet otF with Merit, but when
he has no other Prop than Money and Patent, I always
compare it to thofe proud Temples of Egypt^ that under
gilt Frontifpieces, and azur'd Vaults, lodged nothing but
Statues oi Rats and Crocodiles. lvalue more an innocent
Plowman, than a vicious Prince; and prefer his Nobility
who has built a great Fortune upon Worth and Virtue,
before his who by Succeffioh receives one.

III.

As it is ungenteel to boaft of our Family, fo it is no
lefs mean and childifli to fpend Rhetorick on our Perfor-
mances. If your Prince and Country honour you
with a high Employment, either in the Carnp or the
Bench, difcharge your felf of the Truft with Reputation:
deferve Panegyrick, but play not the Orator your felf;
though you are as eloquent as Tk//y, you'll only labour
to fpoil a good Subjedt, and whilft you vainly fet oft'
your own Feats, you'll meet with nothing but Shame
and Infamy. N. N. was an excellent Soldier, he feared
nothing but Fear ; he chofe always the Fan., and was of-
ten the firft Man on the Breach ; all admir'd his Cou-
rage, and prais'd it; and even thofe who difapproved Ins
Conduft, did Juftice to his Valour ; but this Gentleman
loft at Table the Glory he had won in the Field, and
talking awyiy in his Winter Qiiarters the Honour he had
purchafed the whole Campaign. I did this, faid he, at
the Siege of R.^ and this at the Battle of** ; had I not

feized

lo ^he Gentleman InJinSed,

feizedon fuch a Poll at**, the Army bad been in Dan-
ger. One would have thought all the Generals and Sol-
diers had been in Garrifon, and that N. N. with his fmall"
Brigade alone, defeated the Defigns of the French. This
overgrown Vanity coft him dear ; for inftead of gainino-
the Reputation of a General, he went oiFwith that of a
Fop, and all concluded he was too ambitious of Praife to
deferve any. Your deep Rivers move with a iilent Ma-
jefty, {hallow Brooks alone make a Noife and Tumult a-
mong Pebbles.The great Marfhal de 'Turenne never fpoke
of himfelf, but when forc'd, and even then, with Modefty;
and though the King was wholly indebted to the wife
Conduct of this gallant Man for many Victories, yet he
never faid fo : No, he wou'd lay Mifcarriages at his own
Door, and Succefs at that of his Officers and Soldiers ;
this made him appear great even in his Overthrow, and
generally his Moderation was more glorious to him than
Viftory. Imitate the Silence of this /Zero, not thenoify
Impertinence of Fools ; carry off the Satisfaction of great
Actions, and let others go with the Honour of praifing
'em, and let People rather learn your Atchievements at
the Stationers, than at your Table.

IV.

Avoid the modifh Rant of Oaths and Imprecations :
It's an ungenteel Dialect, as well as unchriftian, and
clafhes both with the Rules of Breeding, and of the Go-
fpel. Cuftom indeed has made 'em fafliionable, but
neither civil nor lawful ; for Vice can never plead Pre-
fcription. I know it lies under the Protedion of Num-
ber and Quality ; but ill things have no right to Sanftu-
ary : Becaufe Vermin fwarm, muft they be permitted to
encreafe ? Shall the Number of Felons plead for Pardon ?
No, no, the Cuitomarinefsof ill things makes 'em worfe ;
and the more they muft be difcountenanced, and taught
Difcipline. In a Word, whatever jars with Religion,
and cuts upon good Breeding, is below a Gentleman :
And therefore in Spiglit of Example and Practice, I mufl:
caution you againft i'ome Parts of Englijh Civility ; for
though they go for Confem in the Englip Dominions,
they'll not bear the Tefts of other Nations.

For Example ; Daynnye, fays one, I am glad to fee yon:
Is not this a quaint Salutation ? Firft, to pack me away

to

^he Gentleman InJlraBed. \ \

to Hell, and then proteft he is glad to fee me fo conveni-
ently lodg'd ? What Provifion will thele Blades make for ■
their Enemies, if they place their Friends fo unto.wardly ?
Certainly, they fancy Hell is a fine Seat, and that the
Damned are in a fair Way of Promotion ? ,

Damnye Dog\ how do ft do '^. cries another: This feat
Compliment implies Damnation and Transformation
too : It's a" Compound of Curfe and Raillery. I am
plunged into Hell, dafhed out of the Lift of Rationals,
and then, with a Taunt, asked how I do ? V/hy, a Man
in Fire and Brimftone, is not altogether at his Eafe,
and a reafonable Creature curft into a Dog, not very
fond of the Metamorphofis.

A third very genteelly accoftsa Friend he has not per-
chance feen of a Twelve-month, Te Son of a M'uore^ where
have you been '^. This is an Engl'ijh Addrefs to a Tittle:
It is a kind of a ftaple Commodity of the Nation, and
like our Wool, muft not be tranfported under Pain of
Confifcation : But furely we need not lay fo fevere an
Embargo on the Ware, for it's ten to one 'twill never find
Vent in any other Nation on this Side of the Canaries ;
a handful of Dirt, well applied, is as civil a Compliment,
though not quite fo cleanly. Son of a Whore ! There is
abundance of Freedom in the Exprcflion, but not a Grain
of Breeding : Unlefs you meafure Behaviour by the'
Dialeft of a BilUnfgate, and the Bear-garden. Certain-
ly thefe Gentlemen are Admirers of Charity ; why elfe
do they dignify Whoredom ? For Whore ftands for a
Mark of Quality, a diftinguifliing Charadter ; otherwife
the Salutation would appe^tr coarfe and homely ; but, by
their leave, few are in Love with Crofs-Bars ; and to be
Brother to a By-blow, is to be a Ballard once removed.

I know we fling a Veil on thefe ExprelTions, and
wafh over their Foulnefs with fair Pretences. Damnye^
fays one, and Son of a Whore ftand meerly for Cvphers,
or only ferve to enliven a Period, and to make the Ex-
preflion more bluftering ; I confefs Whore and Damnatiott
are near a-kin, and often go together ; but for all that,
the Sillinefs of the Excufe can't ftifle the monftrous In-.
civility of the Compliment; for though it fignifies no-
thing to him who receives it m good time, it will fignify
much to him that fpoke it: For though a Friend may let
fCich Curfes fall to the Ground, God will put 'em to Ac-

count

II ^he Gentleman Infiru^ed.

count ; and though they ftand for Cyphers in Englandy
they may purchafe eternal Torments in Hell.

They are, fays another, Marks oi EagUp Familiarity^
pure Sallies of Kindnefs and Demonftrations of Friend-
fhip. No doubt, to deliver over to Satan an old Ac-
quaintance, without asking his Confent to the Convey-
ance, is Freedom with a Vengeance ; but at which end
of the Compliment is his Kindnefs ? In fhort, Neander^
fuch Expreffions grate the Organ, and turn the very Fa-
culty of Hearing into a Burden; they are high Symp-
toms of a lewd Inclination, and of a depraved Complexi-
on ; for M'hen the Breath fmells rank, the Stomach is
infefted. In fhort, fuch a 'Jargon is a Breach of Civili-
ty, it's a ruilick Cant.^ an uncreditable Diale(5l ; nor is
the whole l^offe of Bullies able to ennoble it.

V.

When Civility obliges you to vifit Ladies, pray keep
your Compliments to the Rules of Chrillianity ; there
is no Neceffity of laying Religion at the Door with
your Golojlooes^ nor of denying God when you entertain
her Ladyfliip : For certainly Breeding is not incompati-
ble with Religion, and a Man may make an Addrefs
alamode without apoftatizing from Chriftianity : Yet
though the Worfliip of the Virgin Mary be difallowed of,
we may adore Ladies without the Breach of a Statute,
and commit Idolatry not only without Reproof, but e-
ven without Sin : One fwears, Heaven fits in her Smiles,
and Hell in her Frowns. A fecond lliles her Saint ; tho'
perchance her Ladyfhip is more ftock'd with Beauty than
Piety, and her Face better provided with Grace than
her Soul ; A third enlarges her Perfe6lions ; he ranks
her among the Angels ; and, to compleat the Folly with
Blafphemy, a fourth deifies her : Thefe Pagan Compli-
ments are the Standard of Courtfhip, the Scale of Ce-
remony, and the Mcafure of good Breeding. But after
all, Praftice can never blanch over the Foulnefs of thefe
daring ExprefTidns ; every Syllable breathes Frenzy and
Blafphemy ; nor is there any way to acquit thefe raving
Platonicks of a Crime, but by fuppofmg 'em unreafonable.
A few Pimples handfomely fprinkled would very effi-
cacioufly dillodge the yJngel, as perchance her Lewd-
nefs has banifli'd the Saint; and a few Small Pox would

chequer

T'he Gentleman Infrared. 13.

chequer her Divinity, and tumble the Goddefs into a
Monfter j and then Holl might as well perch on her Smiles,
as on her Frowns. But Raillery apart, tho' we fling
Impiety out of the Queftion, fuch Addrefles are plain
Satyr, and Inveftive on the Sex : For they fuppofe
Women either extravagantly proud, or fuperlatively ijl-
ly ; now the very Suppolition is both ungenteel and Ican-
dalous. I am fenlible indeed the Sex is no Enemy to Hy-
perbole in Courtlhip ; Women are more fond of thofe
Glafles that conceal Difproportions, than of thofe that
reprefent them ; they can't well diftinguifll between Flat-
tery and Merit, and as they eagerly deli re thofe Perfec-
tions that are proper to their Sex, fo they cafily are per-
fuaded they pofl'efs them j for we foon believe what we
earneftly delire : So hence it is, that they take a pleafing
Raillery for a ferious Truth, and even fometimes a Lam-
foQft for a Panegyrick ; but then an ungrateful Truth
puts them into a Ferment ; it ruffles their good Humour,
and fours their Blood. Something therefore may be al- .
lowed toCultom and their Conftitution; flatter their La-
dypips into an even Temper, rather than reafon them out
of it, provided you keep within a mean, and ftep not
beyond the Bounds of Decency ; but to break into Flights
of Impiety, into Raptures of Blafphemy, is to play the
Fool and the Atheift.

VI.

Gentlemen have fo much time on their Hands that
they know not how to fpend it ; it's a Burthen and a
Charge, and fo, like Prodigals, they rather fling it away
than take Pains to improve it. I counfel you therefore
to fet afide fome Hours for Reading; it's a handfome
Diverfion, and conveys Profit through Pleafure ; the
Intelled is a grateful Soil ; but then, like a Field, it re-
quires manuring. By Reading, you join paft Ages to the
prefent, you travel into /ijia^ Africa and America^ with-
out Expence, without Danger, nay, without v/alking out
of your Glofet. Senfual Fleafufes rather ftupify than
delight, they play upon the Organ, and dull the Appetite,
they are often brutal, and feldom innocent; but thofe of
the Underftanding fliine brighter, they are of a more re«
fined Metal, free from Drofs, and void of Repentance ;
they extend the Facuity,and render it more rational ; they

rather

14 fhe Gentleman hiflru5fed.

rather whetDefire than glut it, and fcrew Man's topping
Prerogative, Reafon, up to the higheft Pitch. A Gentle-
man furnifli'd with Reading, can never be at a Lofs to
fet on foot, and cany on a handfome Convcrfation ; he
is always well flocked, and carries his Provifions about
him; whereas others are forced to fetch Matter from the
Kennel, or the Stable, and too too often from the Stews ;
their Difcourfe is a Compound of Smut and Raillery, en-
livened always with Foolleries, and fometimes feafoned
with Oaths and Blafphemies: Nonfenfe, in fine, thou2;h
not the raoft creditable, is the moft innocent and lefs
blamed Ingredient. Good God ! how often have I loft
Patience, and fretted away good Humour in the Com-
pany of Gentlem.en o*-" fair Eftates, and of noble Ex-
tradtion ; methought they had ferved an Apprenticefhip
under Grooms or Dog-boys ; they eternally grated my
Ears with Hounds and Horfes, and broke out into fuch
clamorous Tumults, as if they had been drawing up tlie
Grievances of the Nation, or pelting the Prerogative; yet
after all, the Qiieftion was only, whether P///} or L/^^;-
foot got the better laft Chace. Racing and Hunting are
indeed laudable Recreations ; and upon Occalions may be
difcourfed of; but then, to harp perpetually upon thefe
Creatures, is an infallible Argument their Thoughts are
mean, and too weak winged to foar above the Beaft.
Some Years ago, I took a Turn beyond the Seas, and
made a connderaliile Stay in thofe Parts: At my return
I gave a Vilit to an old Acquaintance; a Man of Cha-
racter, of Eltate, of an ancient Family, and Deputy
Lieutenant of a County ; he was at Table ; a Hawking-
bag hung on the left-fide, and a Bumpkin guarded the
right; his Hat, Coat and Wig were all of a piece, more
fir for a Scare-Crow than a Deputy ; his Memory was as
fhort as his Wig; for fome Years Abfeix:e had wiped
out our- Acquaintance ; he knew me not, and indeed,
I was no lefs puzzled to find my Friend under fo ilo-
venly a Difguife : However, at length we ren*wed our
old Species, and then he very warmly embraced me with
this Salutation ; Eufebius, byGod^ I ain ^InU to fee thee :
I expected he would follow this quaint Compliment
with an Enquiry into my Health, or latisfied hisCuriofity
with a Rchearfal of my Travels ; that he would ask in
what Poilurc I left our Allies ; whether they made Pre-
parations

^e Gentleman Inftni0ed, 15

parations for the Siege o^ Namur, ox Monfieur ior Xhdit
of Maejirichf ; whether Prince Eugefie entered CremoMa
with greater Glory, or left it with greater Infamy; whe-
ther Fribergen did better to receive a Stab from Mahoni^
than Quarter ; or whether this brave Baron died hke a
Fool or a Hero : In fine, what Advantage ihelyKperialiJii
got by the Vidtory at Lttzzara, or whether the Profit
would balance the Expence of Powder and Shot, laid
out in the Empire on the Thankfgiving-Day.

No, the Gentleman's Curiofity never travelled fo far:
He had confined his Knowledge within the Bounds of
his own Country ; all the reft of the World was Terra
incognita to his IVer^ip : "He fell immediately upon the
Excellency of Tobacco^ and then hailed me up to the Stable,
that I might pay my Refpedl to Bobtail ; and in the way
honoured me with an accurate Account of his Poultry,
Oh ! faid I to myfelf, had this LieuteKant hunted lefs,
and read more ; had he cultivated his Underftanding, and
let a Field or two We fallow^ he might have been Com-
pany for Men : But, alas ! he was the Darling of the Fa-
mily ; he heftored it at Home, whilft he fhould have
been at School and Abroad ; was made a Man at fif-
teen, to be a Child and a Coxcomb at threefcore.

I would not have you, upon all Occafions, difcourfe
in Syllogifm^ nor deliver your Thoughts in Alood and
Figure : Such philofophical Cant fuits better with a Pe-
dant than a Gentleman ; and may pafs in the School, but
not in the Parlour. Neither prefsupon Company a f^a-
cuur/i^nor Mr. Boyle's Pondus Atmojphara^ a civil Con-
verialion may be managed handfomely in either Hypothc-
fis 5 and I conceive Difcourfe prolpered no leis in the Days
of good old Materia Prima, than in the Reign of des
Cartes's third Element.

You may alio let the Grand Afo^;// fit quietly at/f^r^,
and Prefter John in Ethiopia ; few Gentlemena Know-
ledge travels fo far from Home. France, Spain and
Italy lie more conveniently ; htMesClaret, Malaga, and
Flasks of Florence, have given us fome Notions of thofe
Kingdoms.

Time your Subject ; good things fpoke out of Seafon,
lofe their Value. I would not harangue a Lady in Greek,
nor a Country Vicar in Hebrew : For, alas ! her Learning
goes not beyond French, nor his above L(»?/»; Difcourfe

muit

i6 Ty^^ Gentleman Injirii^ed,

muft be adapted to the Company ; and it takes more
when it naturally Aides in, than when drawn in by Head
and Shoulders. In a word, Neander^ enrich your Un-
derilanding by the Knowledge of Things that become
your Quality ; and when you are doubly equipp'd (I mean
with a fair Eftate, and a good fund of Learning) what
can you defire more, but an ordinary Stock of Prudence
to lay them out to Advantage t

VII.

Converfe not ordinarily with Perfons above your Rank,
nor with thofe that are below it ; that will endanger your
Eftate, this your Breeding. A Man of a thoufand Pound
per Anmim^ can't long keep pace with one of -ten thou-
fand ; he'll infallibly lag, and jade by the way ; and per-
chance be forc'd to take in at the next Goal : Or, if in
time he refolve to foreftal his Ruin, he muft faft out the
Riot of a fhort Carnaval with a long Lent ; he muft
ftint himfelf to a fhort Pittance, and lop off a Branch to
fecure the Stock : For Eftate- Wounds fefter into a Gan-
grene, and nothing but the Saw or Seering-Iron can ftop
the Infedlion.

But on the other fide, to herd with Peafants is a kind
of voluntary Degradation ; it's to break. your Efcutcheqtt^
and to, commence Yeoman. Peafantry is a Difeafe, like
the Plague, eafily caught by Converfation ; it's a Colour
that takes on any Subjeft, and feldom wears off: why
then (hall a Perfon of Honour forfeit his Patent without
Treafon ? Clowns are a fort of encroaching Animals ;
give an Inch, they'll take an Ell, and repay your Famili-
arity with Contempt and Outrage: If you intend to oblige
them to a Diftance, ftoop not below your Station, nor
fet them on equal Ground ; if once you make them Com-
panions, they'll ufurp the Authority of Mafters ; for they
want Prudence to manage a Familiarity, but not Impu-
dence to abufe it: But take care not to brow-beat them,
nor pretend to keep them under too fevere Difcipline ; for
the moft defpicable and cowardly Creatures, if forc'd,
will turn and fly in your Face.

VIII.

Some Gentlemen are fo pundilious and nice, thnt they
look on Bufmefs as a-thing below their Level : No, they'll

not

The Gentleman Infru^ed. ly

not look on their Accounts, tho' their Eltr .e lies in an
Agony; as if there were no Difference between Pru-
dence and Trading. But certainly, Wifdom jars not with
Quality; and I hope, one may be a good Husband with-
out turning Clown : It's no Branch of a Gentleman's Pre-
rogative to be bubbled out of Houfe and Home. V/hen
Expences run high, is it not fit at leaft to provide agAiuft
Fraud and Circumvention ? Prodigality on the one Side,
and Fraud on the other, will foon dram an Eltate to the
Lees. Do not therefore ail by Deputy : To trutt a
Steward too much, is to expofe his Vertue. Honefty is
not always Proof againft Temptation : Men often ciieat
without Scruple, when they can do it without Fear. Re-
member, that Nobility ftript of Means, makes no gen-
teel Figure ; it can't ftand without golden Supporters :
Model therefore your Expences by your Income, and
refledt you poflefS" Lands, not Mines; two thouiand ex-
pended, and one received, will not balance Accounts at
the Year's End: If you are wife, live on the Crop, not
on the Land ; convey not a Lordfliip to London in a Bill
of Exchange, nor Qdixvf Acres in your Pocket; they thrive
well in Country Air, but fall into Confumptions and
Hefticks at Whtte-hall and Groom-Porters.^ and foon ex-
pire ; and then you muft run upon the Common.^ or live
on Charity ©r Courtefy ; or Chameleon-X^t., on the Air,
unlefs you had rather turn Knight-Errant on the King's
Highway, or take up your Quarters at Ty^^''^- Believe
me, Neander^ Poverty is unfafhionable in our Days, and
Dependance uneafy ; take Care therefore of the main
Chance, lay by a Referve for Age and Accidents: Anew
Lordfliip does not (like a Phoenix) jump out of the Afhes
of the old: No, when it's gone, Hope follows it; no-
thing remains but Beggary, Contempt, Defpair, and Re-
pentance.

Be neither covetous nor profufe ; Extreams are vicious ;
that feems lefs genteel, and this more foolifli. I hate
to fee a Gentleman, like a Snail, draw in his Figure to
fave his Purfe, and not only want the Conveniences, but
even the Neceflaries of Life in the Face of Abundance :
This is almoft to antedate Mifery, and to turn the Fa-
ble of Tantalus into a real Story. I would no more truft
fuch a Mifer, than a Foot-Pad or a Cut Purfe ; he who
loves Money more than himfelf,will infallibly rate it above
C Honelly,

1 S fhe Gentleman InJlruBed.

Honefty, and he'll ftretch a Point, and anloofe Confci-
cnce when Opportunity opens any Profpeft of Gain:
For to a Mifer, Knavery and Cozenage are unqueftiona-
ble Axioms^ and ought to be fuppofed as a Poftulatum :
In a word, it's a bale Employment to lie on Earth, and
to {land Centinel to Intereft ; I would neither fawn on
Money for Money's Sake; nor dftck and drake it away
for a Frolick : No, I would not part with my Liberty
for a Sp(i»ip Flota, nor with a Shilling for a good Mor-
row i that would be to over-value Slavery ; and this to un-
der-rate Silver.

Let your Equipage run even with your Purfe and Qua-
lity. Starve not yourfelf to feed Lackeys ; nor give *em
a Coach (as N. N. did) to fave their Liveries. Hand-
fom Regales fometimes buoy up Credit, cherifh Friend-
fhip, nourifli Mirth, and breathe Life and Spirit into
Converfation ; tho' they fink your Purfe, they do not
drain it ; at leaft you receive Credit for your Money.

IX.

A continual Application to Bufinefs works upon the
Brain, it exhaufts the Spirits, and undermines Health:
Nature muft not be run down, allow it Time to breathe ;
if you are always on the Spur, you'll jade it. Exchange
therefore fometimes your ferious Employments for ho-
neft and genteel Recreations ; they refrefh the Mind, un-
burthen Nature, enhven the Faculties, and pour new Life
and Vigour into the Body : Chufe thofe that are more
diverting and lefs expenfive; a Pleafure over-purchafqd is
a real Torment, and then if they require Study and Ap-
plication, you do not fo much eafe Nature as change the
Burthen. I would not have you venture upon Games
of Hazard, unlefs Civihty oblige you, and even then
ftake no more, than you dare lofe without Faflion :
Thofe Plays, like Quick-Sands, fwallow Eftates at a
fitting ; they devour a Man's Patience, and caft Nature
into a Ferment. Good God ! how uneafy have I feen
Gamefters ? Methought they fate on Thorns or Tenters ;
you might fee Paffion in their Geftures, and read De-
fpair on their Faces; they broke through all the Barri-
ers of Modefty and Decorum, and diced away their Mo-
ney firft, and then flung patience after it. Had Force
itretcht thefe Gamefters on that Rack, I fhoald have pi-

tietj

' ^he Gentleman InJiriiBed. ip

tied their Misfortune ; but when I refleded they were
their own Executioners, let 'em fuffer, faid I, nothing
but Stripes can teach Fools Wifdom, nor reftore Mad-
Kien to their Wits.

I met once Sir N. N. an old Acquaintance ; whither
fofaft, faid I, old Friend ? lam, replied he, on an Ex-
pedition : You are methinks, anfwered I again, too cra-
zy for a Winter Campaign, and too old to turn Maro-
deur, or Partizan : Nay, faid he^ my Bufinefs lies withi'-
in Doors: In fhort, I am bound for St. James's, where I
intend to fling away a hundred Guineas. To fling away
a hundred Guineas! faid I, Prithee, if you are over-
charged with Coin, favour me with the Burthen ;
you'll play the Fool at lead with a better Grace, and lefs
Trouble. But the Propofal did not relifh; he would,
Gentleraan-like, keep his Word, though he loft his
Purfe ; and had rather forfeit his Eftate than his Credit.
He invited me to accompany him ; away we drove to
the Place of Rendezvous, where we found his Antago-
nift ready to encounter : Down they fat, and to it they
went ; at the beginning the Dice favour'd my old Knight
fo ftrangely, that I thought good Luck and he were of
Intelligence. Lord ! how the old Gentleman crow'd !
Joy danc'd through every Joint, you might fee-it flufli
in his Face, and gild the Decays of Nature. In fine,
good Luck fecm'd to have fil'd oiF his Account twenty
Years, and to have put as many more to his Credit ;
but then if good Humour fat on this Side of the Table,
bad fat on the other ; the young 'Squire firft took the Pet,
then Clouds began to rife, which made me expe6l a
Tempeft ; nor was I deceived in my Conjedlure ; for
immediately away fly the Dice with a Brace of Gurfes
at their Heels; then Fortune is hailed to the Bar, ar-
raigned and condemned : Providence brings up the Rear
of the Criminals ; you wou'd have thought this one and
twenty came in a dired Line from Hercules, he play'd
the Furiofu fo lively.

And now Sir N.N. was entring the Haven with his
golden Fleece ; when on a fudden the Wind chopt
about, and blew in his Teeth ; the Tables are turned,
the Scene is changed, the Knight fumes, and the Squire
triumphs; one curfes the Dice, the other gives 'em his
Blefling: They fteer their Pafllons by theC^^^, and vary
C 2 with

20 I'he Gentleman Inflrti^fed,

with the Cafts. In fine, my Friend flood to his Word,
he left the Field, and a hundred Guineas to the Vidor,
and loft all Gravity and Moderation. I accompanied
him to his Lodgings ; but I found he was even lurcht
of good Nature alfo. Well, faid I, do you call this
Play ? Can Sport and Anxiety, Fear and Defpair ftand
together ? Hell and Heaven are as compatible : I would
as foon for Diverlion take a Turn upon the Rack, or
lay my Head between the Anvil and the Hammer ; thefe
Torments are not greater j but I am fure are lefs expen-
live.

Neaytder^ You may learn by this, how ill thefe Plays
deferve the Name of Recreations; fly 'em therefore as
the Plague, they prey upon Content, corrode Satisfadi-
on, and in Conclufion fwallow Eilates, and commend
Nobility to the Parifh,

Hawking and Hunting are more manly, more genteel,
and more diverting j thefe Sports are almoft as antient
as our Nature, they have kept up their Reputation in
fpight of all the Viciffitudes of Time and Fortune ; but
then they muft be taken with Moderation, like Phyfick
for Health, not like Meat for Diet. To range eternally
in Woods and Thickets after Beafts, is rather the Office
of a Keeper, than the Sport of a Gentleman. I blame
not the Recreation, but the Excefs : For though Hunting
be a royal Paftime, it's certainly a bafe and fervile Em-
ployment.

Nean. Pray, what is your Opinion of Dancing and
Mufick ? Are they genteel Accomplifhments ?

Eufeb. No doubt: They embellifh Qiiality, and give
a pretty turn to Breeding ; they furnifh a Man with all
the little Ingredients neceflary for a quaint Addrefs^ and
ulher him into Company with Advantage ; they relieve
a drooping Difcourfe : For when Reafon runs low, and
Converfation languilhes, a Stroke of the Fiddle, a Song
or a Sarahand^ well performed, may enliven it : But don't
over-rate thefe Talents, nor place 'em among the firft-
rate Qualifications of a Gentleman ; for in Reality they
only fit you up for a modifh Addrefs, and a Female En-
tertainment. Let a Man rather trim up his A-lind than
his Body : Thofe Embellifhments are more nobis and rich
that lie in the Brain, than thofe that link into the Feet,
or perch on the Finger's End,

X, When

f7%^ Gentleman J«/?r^^^i. ai

X.

When Innocence left the'Wortd, Cloaths came into
Fafhion ; they were only invented as a Screen to Naked-
nefs, and a Defence to Decency ; you muft not there-
fore invert the Inftitution, nor turn the Marks of Infamy
into Badges of Grandeur ; for it's a Madnefs to pride in
our Shame, and to look big becaufe we are poor and indi-
gent: Indeed a Gentleman fhould not clatter in Sabots^
nor trudge about in Linfy-lVoolfy. Quality under fuch a
Difguife would make a llovenly Figure: Be neat with-
out Gaudinefs, genteel without Aftedation : In fine, the
Taylor muft take meafure both of your Purfeand of your
Quality, as well as of your Perfon : For a Suit that fits
the Charadter, is more alamode than that which fits well
on the Body. I have feen fome Fops over-flioot Extra-
vagance ; they ranfack'd all the Shops in Pater-Moller-
Row and Cheapjide for the Matter, and confulted the.
whole Company of Merchant-Taylors for the Form ; a
Man of Wat; might be rigg'd with lefs Noife, and fome-
times at lefs Expence : Now, though fine Feathers make
fine Birds, yet furely gaudy Trappings can't make fine
Gentlemen : for the Embellifliments of Quality are Wit,
Judgment, and Behaviour; an Air that's noble without
Haughtinefs, and condefcending without Mean-nefs.
Now thefe Qualifications lodge in the Soul, they lie in
the Head, not on the Back ; the EfFedls indeed run to the
Superficies, but the Caufe fculks out of fight.

I fuppofe we put not off our Nobility at Night, nor
put it on in the Morning at the Toilet-^ why then are we
imitten witli Drapery, and doat on Finery ? This muft
be underftood with Regard to Decency ; Allowance mull
be given to Cuftom and Opinion ; a Gendeman muft
not be fo unpretending in Appearance, as to affect
Slovenlinels; this is to facrifice one Vice to another, to
atone for Vnnity with Naftinefs: Walk between thefe
two Extremes; though you ufe both Shops and Taylors,
depend on neither; build not your Reputation on Silks,
nor your Worth on StuiFs : For in a Word, they are mere
Excrements of poor Animals. Now, to make the bafeft
Part of Worms and Sheep the Top of our Grearnels,
is in Effeft to commence Beaft. Meander^ put on a good
Humour, a fine Behaviour, a noble Difpofition, and

C 3 you'U

22 fhe Gentleman Injiru^ed,

you'll keep the Mob at a Diftance j but whofoever pre-
tends to dazzle Men into Refpeft, merely with Scarlet
and Gold Lace, will fall fhort of his Pretenfions- Men
are not awed by Cloaths, but Vertue : Old Fabricius in his
^erkiny and Curius in the Chimney Corner, were more
efteemed and feared than Caligula or Heliognbalus^ in all
their State and Bravery.

XI.

Let not one Aftlon ftoop below the Level of your
Quality ; be not deceived in the Notion of Honour; this
is a necefl'ary Caveat in the mad Age we live. Some
confound Honour with Profit, others with Pleafure ;
but by the Rules of this new Syftem, Pilfering and Lewd-
nefs are dignifying Qualifications : And fo Foot-pads,
Cut-purfes, and Debauchees may pretend to the Right of
Peerage ; but others feat it on the Sword's Point, and per-
fuade themfelves it confifts in Slaughter; as if there were
no Difference between Honour and Savagenefs, between
a Gentleman and a Butcher : Thefe are a Race of Eu-
ropean Canibah^ who worry their Species^ and devour
Man's Flefli ; true Anthropophagi, who fport in Blood,
and turn Slaughter into a Diverfion ; they are known by
the Names of Scowrers and Duellijis ; but thefe Apella-
tions are too innocent for fo bafe, fo barbarous an Em-
ployment ; they ftand guilty of Murder by the Laws of
the Land, and therefore are mark'd with Shame and In-
famy by the Government: But befides they are condemn'd
by the Law of God, and fp are at once outlav/ed by Re-
ligion and the State. What, I befeech you, can ftigma-^
tize and degrade a Practice more efficacioufly than this
double Excommunication ?

But, fays a Gentleman, fhall I receive an Affront ?
Yes, I hope, rather than a Stab, or a Halter ; that may
bejetrieved, but a Wound in the Heart, or a disjointed
Neck, are irremediable. But muft I fwallow the Lye
too ? Why not, if you deferve it ? The Puniftiment ex-
ceeds not the Crime, and methinks it's reafonable for the
Penalty and the Fault to go together : For prey refledl
if the Imputation of a Lye be fo oftenfive to Quality, the
thing itfelf is much more ; and thcicfore you ought rather
tQ take thofe Imputations as Admonitions than Affronts.

But

^he GENTtEMAN Inftru^ed. ^3

But fuppofeit be a.Calumny, I would either contemn
it or pardon it ; a Man muft undervalue the Benefit of
"Eafe, and the Price of Life to fell it for fo inconfiderable
a Trifle; for in the Judgment of the Law it's nothing, it
will not bear an Adlion. Now, feeing we fubmit to the
Opinion of the Judges in other Differences, why are we
refradory in this Cafe ? The Law is the Standard not
only of Right and Wrong, but of Honour and Infamy :
And feeing it will not take Cognizance of fo petty an
Afperfion, it fuppofesit below Notice.

Ay ! But cuftom has ennobled Revenge : And we had
better be out of the World, than out of the Fafliion,
Under Favour, the King is the only Fountain of Ho-
nour, and I cannot find he ever made over ta Cuftom
this Prerogative Royal.

But what is this Cuftom you talk of ? (/. ^.) a Club of
Defperadoes^ without Religion, without Confcience, a
Pack of Renegado ChriJiiaMs, who are a Scandal to their
ProfelTion, and a SJiame to their Nature ; vote Murder a
brave Adtion, and you obtrude this atheiftical Error from
the univerfal Opinion of Mankind, for the Standard of
Honour and Bravery. Why ? Such Mens Judgments
are as falfe as their Principles, and their Opinions as de-
praved as their Manners ; becaufe Rafcals extol Perjury,
Highwaymen Robbery, and Debauchees Lewdnefs, are
thefe creditable and innocent Vocations? Becaufe Per-
jury, Robbery, and Licentioufnefs are common, are they
lawful ?

Befides, can any thing be more extravagantly foolifli,
than the Pundtilio's of a Duellift ? One has given me
the Lye ; to wipe off the Affront, I muft provoke him to
tilt at my Lungs. Ah, but Right ftands for you ! But
what if Fortune ftands for your Antagonift ? Right is a
dull Weapon, unlefs Skill and good Luck manage it ;
the clandeftine Revenges of the Italians are cruel and
diabolical, but at leaft they are lefs foolifh than ours;
they will not bathe their wounded Honour in their own
Blood, but in that of their Enemy .; and therefore they
attack unawares, or by Proxy ; but we revenge at our
ownExpence, nay, and upon our felves, and fometimes
at a Difadvantage too ; as if to retrieve our Honour
we muft die like Fools. I know not what Charms others
may fee in a Stab, I had rather be fent into the other
C 4 World

24 'ff^^ Gentleman InJiruM.

World by the Hangman than a Duellift; a Duel isan ill
Diitemper to die of, though polTibly Atheifts may think
it a genteel one; and I am confident thele Martyrs of
Honour will bedifcompofed when they find their Recep-
tion in the next Life falls Ihort of their Expedation.

Death, Neander^ is a great Leveller. Titles, Quali-
ty, Wealth, with all their Appurtenances, leave us with
the laft Breath : A Clown will meet with Refpecl if he
be innocent, and a Prince with Contempt if guilty ; our
Treatment will anfwer our Adlions, not our Birth; a
Sca-f/enger that dies in Peace with God will be conveyed
into Glory ; and a Lord that expires in Sin into Tor-
ments.

xn.

Some Gentlemen refine Breeding too much; they af-
fe6l a Singularity in Behaviour as well as in Religion,
and fo make themfelves ridiculous to appear genteel ;
thefe are a heterogenous Race of Gentlemen fome call
Fops, and others Beaus ; they are a Compound of Farce
and Ceremony, a Mixture of Mimick and 'tragedian ;
had their Mothers made a Voyage to the Indies, I
ihould fufpe6l they had fome Relation to an >ipe : For
certainly they are of a mixt Species, and often the Beaft
•predominates, but always the Coxcomb ; if the Beau
hai more Wit, the Ape has more Judgment ; thefe Gen-
tlemen fpeak like Puppets, and walk like Clock-work ;
they pals the Morning between the Glafs and the Toilet^
and fummon to their Levee the whole Po^e of Taylors,
Barkers, and Sempjirejfes ; they value more the Art of
drefling well, than the Knack of paying : And whilft o-
thers admire their Folly, like young Narcijfus, they
contemplate their own Beauty : Pray leave the People
and their Behaviour to themfelves, and if you can't avoid
their Company, catch not their Grimaces. It's true,
you muil prepare for an Attack ; for like People llruck
with the Plague, they love to give the Infedtion ; if they
find you refty, they'll not fail to direft your Motions,
and anatomize your Comportment, and then you mult
expedl to be lampoon'd in Verfe, or pelted in Profe ;
but they always meet with poor Cajfdndra's Fortune,
never to be believed ; their yea's go for »o's, and their
Satyrs for Panegyricks : I might enlarge upon this Sub-

The Gentleman InfiruBed* 25

jeft, but I fear I have already trefpafled upon your Pa-
tience.

Nean. I fee, dear Eufebius^ you are a Stranger to my
Conftitution, I am not fo foon talk'd down ; how can
I fpend my Time better, than in learning how to fpend it

well ?

After a fhort Difcourfe of indifferent things, Neander
took leave of Eufehius with a Promife to return the next
Morning. He kept his Word, and Eufebius fpoke thus.

DIALOGUE III.

Eufebius injiruds Neander in the Duty of a Chri/iiav.

Eufeb. TT's harder, dear Neander^ to defcribe the part
1 of a Chriilian than that of a Gentleman, and
a matter of higher Importance to aft it well ; if a Gen-
tleman falls below his Charader, his Reputation may
fuffer, but not his Soul : He may not Hand fair in Mens
Opinion, but this is a trivial Misfortune; for pray what
great Advantage is it to be efteem'd by thofe, who cannot
be fufficiently blam'd ? Alas ! their Elleem is fo infignifi-
cant, that it's neither able to" credit nor difgrace.

But oh ! if our Life fwerves from the Laws of Chri-
ilianity, and if Death takes us away in this Diforder,
we are undone for ever, eternally loft / without Hope of
Change, or of* retrieving our Misfortune : Upon this
Point our All depends ; if we z€t a Chriftian well, we
fliall be well received into the Joys of the Juft; but if ill,
into the Punifhments of the Impious: And both thefe
States are everlafting, both immenfe, that in Pleafure,
this in Pain.

Now, when the Gain on the one fide is fo vaft, and the
Lofs on the other fo exorbitant, does not Reafon tell us
that we ought to bend all our Care, all our Application,
to difcharge our felves of the Duties of a Chriftian? I
will therefore draw up a fhort Scheme of the moft pref-
fing Offices of your Profeffion, and furnifh you with
Motives able to perfuade you to comply with 'em.

I. The

i6 7^5 Gentleman InftruS^ed,

I.

The chief Reafon why Men live at random is, becaufe
they have forgot their Errand ; they fancy themfelvea
to be the Woric of Chance, the Off-fpring of Hazard,
Creatures of Pleafure placed on the Land (as the Levia-
than is in the Water) to fport and play ; but certainly we
muft have fmall Acquaintance with the Dignity of our
Nature, and a mean Opinion of our Greatnefs, to frame
fuch wild Ideas. Our Underftanding is too noble to be
buried in Dung and Rubbifh ; and our Soul too fpiritual to
be condemned by Nature to the bafe Employments of
Brutes.

No, no, Neander : God's Omnipotence framed us,-
and his Goodnefs defigned us for himfelf alone. He has
ennobled us with Reafon to know his Greatnefs, with a
Will to love his Goodnefs, and with a Soul to enjoy his
Perfe6tion. He is our Alpha and our Ome^a^ the Origin
of our Being, and, the End of our Creation. It's im-
poflible for us to be miferable with him, or happy with-
out him.

11.

But, though we are made to enjoy God in Heaven,
it's uncertain, whether we fhall ever land at this thrice
happy Haven of the BlelTed ; for God has decreed to
communicate the fupreme Felicity as a Reward, not as
^ Gift : We muft take this City by Storm, not by Capi-
tulation : We muft enter Repee a la tn»'tn : ^ violenti ra-
piunt illtid. But if the Difficulty cramps our Courage,
if it baulks our Refolution, if we mifcarry in the Enter-
prize, or fail in the Execution, we are undone for ever;
we muft take up our Habitation in Hell, and dwell per-
petually with Fire and Brimftone. This we believe,
Neander^ and the bare Thought of it fometimes con-
geals the very Blood in our Veins, and ftrikes us with
Horror and Amazement. One Theft, one Murder, one
Fornication unrepented, cafts us into a Lake of Fire, in-
to a Vale of Torments, into a fad Manfion of Defpair,
where we fhall always burn, and never be confumed ;
always die, and ever live the Objed: of God's Wrath,
and the perpetual Monuments of our Folly and Difobe-
dience. Thcfe two Points are, as it were, Poftulatums
in Morality, and God has been pleafed to reveal 'em in

almoft

7%e Gentleman InJiruBed, ij

almoft every Chapter and Page of the New Teftament,
that he might allure us to our Duty by the charming Pro-
fped of Heaven, or fcare us to it by the difmal Repre-
fentation of Hell.

in.

We can't tax God of Severity, nor complain of his
Unkindnefs ; for though on the one Hand he draws up
in Battalia all the Terrors of an unhappy Eternity to
fright us ; on the other he difplays all the Treafures of
Heaven to whet our Hope, and animate our Courage ;
nor does he lay our Salvation in the Hands of Chance,
or truft it to the Care of our Enemies. Yet, he has en-
trufted every Man with his own Welfare ; fo that we
■ cannot be miferable, unlefs we confpire againft our felves,
and turn Traytors to our own Intereft. If therefore we
mifcarry, muft not the Fault lie at our own Door? If we
will be fo ftupid as to fling up our Claim to Heaven ; fo
void of Reafon as to leap into Hell ; do not we deferve
to forfeit the one, and feel the other?' A Man, who in
fpight of Prayers and Tears will vault down a Precipice,
delerves to meafure the height of it by the Fall ; and if
he breaks his Neck, who will not rather laugh at his
Misfortune than pity it ?

IV.

Had God tied up our Happinefs to harder Conditions,
he had not over-rated it. For all we can either do df
fuffer in time, bears no Proportion with an Eternal Re-
ward ; though he be our Mafter, he has behaved him-
felf to us with all the Tendernefs of an indulgent Father.
For he has drav/n up Articles fo advantageous for us,
that we muft be mad to complain, either -of Circumven-
tion or hard Dealing: He requires nothing but Love and
Obedience. Now who can in ReafoTrtefufe to love an
infinite Beauty ? Or to obey an omnipotent Power ? We
pay him Love and Obedience by keeping his Command-
ments, which are only hard to thofe that refolve to
tranfgrefs 'em. £? mandata ejus ^ravia non funt. Nay,
they are fo agreeable to Reafon, that we muft crofs upon
our Nature, before we can violate 'em, and almoft ceafe
to be Men, when we begin ,to be Sinners. In a Word,
to be happy in the next World we muft be vertuous in
this, Vertue is yow Duty, Neander^ and if you pradlife

it

i8 ^he Gentleman InJfruBed,

it ferioully, 'twill prove your Pleafure. For God has fo
interwoven our Duty with our Satisfadion, that it's im-
poflibk for a Man to be innocently unhappy.

V.

Though Vertue be an excellent Thing, it may be abu-
fed. It lies within the Reach of Fancy, lUuiion, and
Mifapplication ; there is falfe Vertue as well as adulterate
Coin : And as the Lacedemonians trickt up their Gods in
Xht S^artan'Drtis], fo oftentimes Men model Vertue by
their own Paffions. I have feen a morofe Zealot eternal-
ly harangue againft the Corruption of the Age ; all was
wrong, all vicious, that crofs'd his four Humour. One
would have thought God had conftituted him Inffedor-
General of Mankind ; he kickt and flung after fo unchri-
llian a rate, 'twas dangerous to come within his Reach.
Now, though Scripture and Reafon call this Sin^ he mif-
took it, good Man, for Vertue. His Error was Proof
againft Homily and Exhortation. You might have fooner
perfuaded him out of his Chriftian Name, than out of his
peevifh Humour.

As I efteem nothing more than true and genuine Ver-
tue, fo I abhor a Hypocrite. I hate thofe Mountebanks
of the Spirit, who turn Piety into a Trade ; who pray
themfelves into Livings, and whine themfelves into Re-
putation ; who pradife Humility out of Pride, and Cha-
rity out of Spight ; who preach up the moft fevere Mo-
rals in publick, and condemn 'em in private ; whofe Zeal
is Cenfure, whofe Juftice is Intereft, and Piety a Cover
to Vanity. I have heard thefe Tartars lafli the World to
Excefs, whilft they courted it to Extravagance : They ex-
tolled Solitude, yet were always in Company, and prai-
fed Vertue, when they pradifed Vice. In one Word, this
Race of Men is a Medley ofOppofites, humble without,
and proud within ; arrogant to Excefs, and on Occalions
fubmiflive beyond Meafure; all Fire, and all Smoakj
Saints in Appearance, and Sinners in Effed.

Others place Dagon and the Ark on the fame Altar.
Like Jehu^ they blend Good with Evil, adore God in
the Temple, and golden Calves in Dan and Bethel t
Sometimes they are all Spirit, fometimes all Body : Now
they regale their Senfes with a thoufand Ragoufts of
the moft refined Lewdnefs : By and by they feaft their

Souls

^he Gentleman Infni^fed. 0.^1

Souls with the moft high-feafon'd Piety: One Day they
furfeit with Falling, another with Feafting: Yellerday
they were tired with Kneehng, to Day with Dancing:
They feldom mifs a Sermon, never a Play : If you fee
a Prayer- Book in their Hand, you may fwear there is a
Lampoon in their Pocket ; and if the Bible lies on their
Desk, a Romance ftands on the Shelf; fo that they are
half Saint, and half Devil, but all Monfter. I knew a
He-Devotee, who would fpeak fo feelingly of the Ex-
cellency of Chaftity, one would have taken him for a
Baptijl ; yet at the fame time he entertain'd a Mifs in a
Corner ; and though on Sunday he appear'd in the Church
with Refpeft before the Lord, all the Week he paid Ho-
mage to the Lady : This is not Vertue, but an Oleo of
Vices : This is to worfhip God as the Soldiers did our Sa-
viour, with Outrage and Blafphemy. You may eafily
infer, that the Duty of a Chriftian obliges you to deteft
and abhor fuch a Conduft, but not to imitate it, one
Defeat tarnifhes Vertue. Bonum ex Integra cojifa, ma-
lum ex quolibet defeSiu.

That Man is truly vertuous, who is neither proud in
good Fortune, nor abjedt in bad ; who defires nothing but
Heaven, and fears nothing but Hell ; who avenges Af-
fronts with Favours, and Injuries with Pardon; who is
fevere to himfelf, and eafy to his Neighbour; who fpeaks
well of all but himfelf; and never pardons his own De-
fers, nor cenfures thofe of his Brethren. In a Word, Ne-
ander^ Do good, and fly from evil, is the Sum of your Du-
ty. This is Vertue in Short-Hand, Perfedtion in Epi-
tome, and Heaven in Reverlion.

VI.

That Part of your Duty is of the greateft Importance,
that immediately belongs to God ; he is our Maker and
our Sovereign, we are indebted to his Power for our
Being, to his Goodnefs for our Converfation ; from him
we expeft the Reward of our Vertues, and the Puiiifh-
ment of our Vices. Return him therefore a thoufand
Thanks for the Favours you have received from the firfi:
Moment of your Creation; you can't begin the Ac-
knowledgement too foon, you can't repeat it too often,
becaufe you can never thank him enough j refpedt him
as your Father, ferve him as your Mafter, and fear him

as

30 1'he Gentleman Infru^ed.

as your Judge ; neither forget his Kindnefs in Profperity,
nor blafpheme his Condu6l in Adverfiry : He is no lefs
amiable when he frowns, than when he fmiies ; when he
wounds, than when he heals. And therefore kifs the
facred Hand that ftrikes, as well as t.iat which flroaks
you : He always defigns your Good, unlefs by Murmurs
and Impatience you turn his Bleffing into Curfes; and
then praife his Condudl, but condemn your own.

Ah ! Neander^ a thoufand thoufand times happy is
that Man, who flings up all his Concerns into the Hands
of Providence, and ties up his Defires to the Laws of
Obedience ; he carries in his Breaflr a little Paradife, and
a Heaven in Profpecl ; he fits above the reach of For-
tune, and beholds with an Air of Unconcernednefs un-
der his Feet, all thofe Storms and Tempefts that dafh in
Pieces other Mens Felicity ; he neither defires good
Succefs, nor fears Difappointmentj he opens his Door
no lefs chearfully to Want, than to Abundance: Infine^
he knows, that Command is God's Prerogative, and Sub-
miffion his Duty. Can Imagination paint a more folid,
a more fincere Satisfadlion, than neither to languifh un-
der the Torments of Hope, nor\o fink under the Billows
of Defpair •, than to fubjedt our Appetite to Reafon, and
this to God, our omnipotent Maker and merciful Re-
deemer ?

This SubmifTion raifes Man to the Height of Vertue
and Happinefs: For whofoever bows his Neck to the
fweet Yoak of Providence, neither amufes his Thoughts
with vifionary Hopes, nor extravagant Fears ; he lives on
his own Fund, and keeps his Defires within the Compais
of his Power i he is content with the Portion God has
affigned him : This he holds only in Fee, and is ready to
leave it at the firft Command. He neither affedts to be .
lefs, nor afpires to a higher Station ; he would be juft as
he is, becaufe God has made him fo.

Nean. This State of Indifference is a fine thing in
Theory and Speculation, but impoflible in Pradtice, and
is rather to be wifhed, than hoped for.

Eufeb. Pray remember that defponding Thoughts only
ferve to pall the Spirits, and to blaft generous Refolutions.
Things are often impoflible, becaufe Cowardife makes
'em fo: Check Fancy, and you'll not encounter thofe
Difficulties in the Prad^ice; Pufillanimity and Non-Expe-
rience

fhe Gentleman InfiniEied, 3 1

rience conjure up to fright you. For God is no Epicurean
Deity, fo taken up with the Enjoyment of his own Fe-
licity, that he has no leifure to call a Thought on the
Concerns of poor Mortals below : No, no, Neander^
his Providence is as boundlefs as his Being; he did not di-
vert: himfelf of the Government of the World, when he
had made it ; he can't either forfeit his Title to the Ad-
miniftration of the Univerfe, or abdicate it. That Hand
which made all Things muft of Neceflity continue 'em,
otherwife they'd make a fpeedy Exit^ and fink into their
primitive Nothing: He has affigned every Being its Sta-
tion ; even the Worm and the Pifrnire^ he fets 'em their
Task, teaches them to work, and through a thoufand
Labyrinths leads all things to their perfed: Ends. Now
certainly, he that created all fublunary Beings for Man,
cannot be thought to withdraw his Care from him, as if
he were below his Love or Concern : No, no, he counts
the Hairs of his Head, and regifters his Steps in the Folio
of his Omniscience,

Now God being Goodnefs it felf, he can't wait upon
us with an ill Defign. He Hands over us as a Guardian,
not as a Spy ; as a Friend, not as an Enemy ; he confi-
ders our Conftitution, and pries into all Circumftances,
that he may time his Favours, and fo enhance their Va-
lue, by adapting them to our NecefTities.

As his Goodnefs afluresushe means well, fo hisWif-
dom gives us Security and Caution, that he can't be de-
ceived in the Choice of thofe Things he defigns for us ; he
can't give us a Stone for a Loaf, nor a Scorpion for a
Fifh, nor Poifon for a Medicine : So that we are fure
on the one fide, that nothing befals us unawares, but ei-
ther by his Permiflion or Command ; and on the other,
that he either permits or commands it for our Good ; and
that it will certainly prove fo, unlefs we defeat his chari-
table Defigns by Impatience or Blafphemy, and by a
llrange felf-creative Power turn his Bleffings into Curfes.
Now, what Misfortune can make Imprefllion on a Mind
fo ftrongly fenced ? It will Hand the moft fiery Trial,
without an Oh^ without a wry Face ; for it has both
Faith and Reafon to fupport it ? And then he that will
weep that has all the Reafon in the World to laugh, muft
be fond of Tears, and in Love with Torment.

It's

32 "the Gentleman InftruM.

It's true, this Do6lrine is extinft in Praftice : We
fnarl at Providence, we difpute his Orders, and burlefque
his Decrees J we fcream out at the lighteft Touch of his
gentle Hand, and turn our felves into all the Poftures of
Impatience ; we neither receive his Favours with Thanks,
nor Correftion with Patience.

But this irrational Condud argues much Peevifhnefs
and more Infidelity. For thefe People muft either doubt
of his Power, or dare not trull his Goodnefs ; and then
they deny both by Illation.

Ah! dear Neander^ commit your Concerns to the Ma-
nagement of God J ask no temporal Blefling, but with
a fiat "voluntas tua ; refufe no Afflidlion ; receive that
with Gratitude, this with Refignation; and if you can't
defire Croffes, at leaft accept 'em, and remember always,
that thofe things often prove more prejudicial we pray
for, than thofe we fear.

We are an America, an undifcovered Region to our
felves, our Defires fly not only before Reafon, but Re-
fledtion ; fo that we are fo far from knowing what is
good for us, that we know not what we would be at:
Our Fancy over-fhoots Nature, and (like a Fool's Para-
dife) reprefents Objects in borrowed Colours and falfe
Shapes: Deluded therefore by vain Glailes and deceitful
Opticks, we dote by Hazard, and hate at Random j we
embrace a deformed Leah for a charming ^a^/^*?/; court
Happinefs, and efpoufe Mifery. But God, who built our
Fabrick, knows our Conftitution ; he dives into our Tem-
per, and comprehends all thofe Things we either eagerly
purfue, or paffionately fly from ; he fees the Employment
of thefe will convey us to etei'nal Felicity, and the Pof-
feflion of thofe into endlefs Torments. He therefore
gives what we feared, and refufes what we defired. Now,
is it not a Kindnefs to be thus mercifully cruel ? Is it not
a Favour to baulk our Pretenfions, and a real Misfor-
tune to be fortunate?

VII.
We can never withdraw our felves from God's Im-
menfity : He reigns in Hell no lefs than in Heaven : He
exercifeshis Juftice among the Damned, and his Mercy
among the Blefled ; he dwells in Woods, and walks in
Cities i he retires with us into Solitude, and accompa-

pie?

The^ Gentleman tnjlru^ed. 3 3

hies us in Converfation j he is in all Places, and fees all
Things ; he fathoms our Deiires, he counts our Words,
he fcatis our A.clions, and reads our Thoughts.

Imprint this Truth witli indelible C]iata6Lei"s in your
Memory, and recommend it to your daily Confiderati-
ons it will teach you both Caution ahd Refped ; it will
curb the diforderly Sallies of Nature, and bind your Paf-
fion to its good Behaviour. You will not have the Face
to ftep beyond the Bounds of Duty, nor fcarce be tempted
to tranfgrefs it. Nature, I confefs, is unruly, it will run
iaway ■Vvith us, unlefs we keep a ftrong and watchful Hand
over it; but then the very Thought that God itands by,
will blow over thofe Flames of Paflion, that dim Rea-
ibn, and hurry us into Tranfgreffions.

Before a grave Man we dare not fall into Indecency ;
his very Prefence gives a Check to Appetite, and ftops
Senfuality in its full Career ; So that Lewdnefs and De-
bauchery are forced to retire, and give Place to Shame.

He who violates the Law in the Face of Authority, that
has both Will and Power to revenge the Contempt,
gives an evident Proof, that either Life isuneafy to him,
or that he is not compos mentis^ and by confequence de-*
ferves Bedlam rather than 'Tyburn. Yet human Juftice
adts in a narrow Sphere ; it reaches but to Lifcj and can-
not purfue the Criminal beyond the Grave. If there-
fore the Sight of a Man, and the Apprehenfion of Death,
have fuch a Tranfcendency oVer us, as to cool the Fire
of Paflion, to difcountenance an unbefeeming Sally, and
to repel any Afiault upon our Vertue ; certainly, a llrong
Perfualion, that God is prefent, that he looks on us ta
trown our Vertues, and to chaftife our Vices, cannot be
lefs efficacious ; for he is Sovereign Difpofer of our Souls
and Bodies; he is able to tumble thefe into nothing, and
thofe into Hell ; v/e may baffle human Juilice, either by
Flight, Money, or Favours, but we cannot fly out of
God's Dominion ; his Anger can neither be appeafedwith
Bribes, nor foftned with Tears, nor overcome with En^
treaties.

Now a Alan who with the Eyes of Faith continually
beholds this dreadful Majefl:y hovering about him, with
the Reward of Vertue in one Hand, and the Sword of
Revenge in the other, will take Care of his Behaviour,
f:nd not ie>ll his Innocence for a fleet Pleafure in Hand,

D ij^d

34 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed,

and eternal Torments in Remainder. Let me therefore
once more intreat you, by all that is dear, by all that is
facred, to carry this Conlideration along with you in all
your Bufinefs, in all your Paftimes, its Company will
neitlier be troublelbm'e nor expenfive, but I am fure it
will be advantageous.

VIII. .

God's infinite Greatnefs intitles him to Homage, and
our Dependance calls upon us to pay it : We cannot ac-
knowledge too foon his Authority, becaufe we cannot
refpedt it too much : We are the Work of his Hands,
the Ohjeft of his Mercy, and fliall once be eternally
that of his Love, or of his Hatred ; of his Love, if we
execute his Commands ; but of his Hatred, ifwetranf-
grefs 'em. Juftice therefore and Gratitude ; Hope of
.Heaven, and Fear of Hell, preach Vertue and Obedience
tohis moft holy Injun6tions. Yet, alas! this Voice of
Thunder is not able to awake our young Gallants,
like lb many bewitched Samffons^ they fleep in the Bo-
fom of flifcinating Pleafures, that lull 'em into plealing
Trances, imaginary Delights, to plunge 'em into real
Torments. One would think they either disbelieved a
future State, they are fo unconcerned for the prefent ; or
that they had a Patent to do ill ; or at leaft an Allurance
of Pardon and Repentance. Their Study is to learn
Sins; their Employment to commit 'em, and grand Di-
verlion to applaud their Impieties. Tell thefe deluded
Creatures they walk over Precipices, and fport on the
Brink of Deftrudlion : That to live a Debauchee, is to
die a Reprobate : They anfw^er your charitable Admo-
nition with a Joak, or a Frown, and very coldly reply,
that Youth was made for Pleafure, and old Age for
Repentance. Good God ! that Men of Wit and Parts
ftiould fo wretchedly fool themfelves into Ruin. Were
our Souls no longer lived than our Bodies, did they fmk
into nothing when vi'e ceafed to breathe, that atheiftical
Rant, £fl'^, btbe^ gaude^ eras moriemur, would not be
quite unreafonable. Could we look into the Future, and
read our Delliny, could we call up a Horofcope of our
Death, as Aftrologers do of our Life; were we fure that
eras moriemur^ we might equip ourfelves to Day for a
Journey to Hell, and make to Morrow great Prepara-
tions

fhe Gentleman TnftniBed. 3 j

tions for Heaven. But, alas! we dwell in a P.egion,
where Certainties are fo twifted with Uncertainties that
though v/e know we muft die, yet we are as igno-
rant of the Time, Place, and Manner, as the Child un-
born. Perchance Divine Juftice may arreft us in the ve-
ry Heat of our Lewdnefs : It may drag us from the Stews
to Judgment : The firft time we clofe our Eye-lids may
be the laft : VVe may only fleep in this World to wake in
the next ; we may only open our Eyes to fee llrange
Flames, and return to our Ssnfes to feel them.

Sudden Deaths are not miraculous* The Bills of Mor-
tality alliire us they are too ordinary : But thefe Accidents
furprize your Debauchees oftner, than thofe who live
within the Bounds of Temperance and Moderation.
They over'chai"ge Nature with continual Excefs, and fet
all the Humours of the Body in an Uproar: And how
eafy is it for thefe Humours in fuch a Hurry and Tu-
mult, to crowd in upon the Heart? or to fly up to the
Brain? or to impede the playing of the Lungs, and on a
fudden flop Refpiration ?

But though God fhould deal more mercifully with
thefe Men than they deferve, though he fhould give them
both Time and Leifure to repent, it's ten to one they wili
die in their Sins, and carry into the next World thofe
Crimes they committed in this.

For two Things are neceflary for a thorough Repen-
tance ; God's Grace and Man's Co-operation ; without
that we cannot repent, and without this he will not par-
don. If therefore the DifKculty to be overcome be greater
at Threefcore, than at Twenty, and Grace be lefs, it's
odds they'll not repent at Threefcore, but that certainly
will be greater, and this infallibly will be lefs. There-
fore it's odds, that the final Refolutions of thefe unfortu-
nate Gentlemen will vanifh into Smoak, and end in eter-
nal Dcfpair and Punifhment.

I prove the Difficulty will certainly be greater. Phi-
lofophy and Experience teach us, that a frequent Re*
lapfe into any Diforder ingenders a Habit, that is, a
Facility and Propenfion to reiterate the fame A6lions.
And this takes its Force from the Frequency of the Pra-
d;ice : For though in natural Produdtions there is a cer-
tain Point of Growth and Perfcdion, yet in Morals
there is no fuch Term, both vicioi:s and vcrtuous Habits
D 2 may

^6 T/^^GENTtEMAN InflruBed.

may go on in infinitum : Hence it happens, that an inve-
terate Cuilom twifls and winds itfelf into our very Na-
ture; it fmks into our Bones; and enters into our Confti-
tution. Now, if all the frightful Reproaches of Confci-
ence, all the Calls or Grace, thedifmal Profpect of thofc
Shades below, the charming Allurements of Heaven above,
were too feeble to reftrain Nature alone; will theyfilence
the Clamours of mutinous rafiions, curb the Violence of
Nature back'd by Cultom, and inflamed with ill Habits ?
No, no: Nature feconded by a Habit (.like a Loadftone
armed with Iron) draws ten times ftronger. He who
groans under the Weight of a Feather, will fall under
that of a Mill-ilone.

Now, as ill Habits biafs Nature, and make it more
impetuous, and leis governable ; fo in our Suppolition,
Grace the chief aftive Principle, is lefs. For Grace is
a free Gifr,no Debt, aliter Gratia nun ejfet'y we mull re-^
ceive it as a mere Benevolence, and cannot ask it as our
Due.

It is probable God will pour down upon his mortal Ene-
mies thefe Streams of Favour and Beauty, as plentifully
as on his Friends ? On thofe who blafpheme him twenty
Years together, as on thole who adore him? On thole
who abandon their Duty out oi a determinate Malice,
as on thofe who fall by Surprize ? It is certain he will
not: For God will not be laught at ; and can the Wit of
Man invent a more coinpendipus, and at the fame time
a more biting Raillery, than by trampling under Foot
this Divine Gift, that coft our great Redeemer Torrents
of Sweat, and Rivers of Blood, than by making his
Goodnefs the Ground of our Ingratitude ? Than by refu-
iing to repent, becaule he is prone to pardon? If God be
juft, as certainly he is, he'll ilop the Conduit of his Mer-
cy, and rain down a Deluge of Maledictions on thofe re-
bellious Giants, that attack the moft High, and turn his
greateft Attributes againll his own Breaft.

Nean. What you fay, as to the main, is true ; but
give me leave to tell you, there is a Dafli of Hyper-
bole in your Difcourfe: Man's Malice can't weary God*s
Mercy ; he can pardon more Sins than Man is able to
commit ; nay, and will, if we fling ourfelves at his
Feet, and fue for Mercy. A contrite Heart, Eufebius,
is a moving Spedlackj it difarms God's Juftice, and

melts

The Gentleman Injiru^ied. 3 7-

melts it into Mercy ; and as he receives thofe Prodigals
that return, io he furnifhes them with Grace for tlieir
Voyage.

Eufeb. Neander, God's Goodnefs weighs down Man's
Mahce ; our Obllinacy can't tire his Mercy ; he'll give
both Pardon and Heaven to thofe who ask 'em ; his Word
Hands engnged, and he can't flyback. But then, where
has he promifed that inveterate Sinners fhall ask Pardon .''
It's true alfo, that the moll profligate Debauchees have
Grace fufficient to work Repentance. But what fignifies
a Power to do Good, v/ith a Will to do Evil? There is
not a damned Soul in Hell, that did not once find it I'elf
in the fame Circumilances. Is it lefs miferable, becaufe
once it might have been happy? Alas ! this fad Medita-
tion fuggeftsnew Matter to their Defpair, becaufe it re-
preients their Mifery, together with their Folly, as the
fole Caule of their Misfortune.

Nean. Fray, Eufehtus, dpn't djfgrace God's darling
Virtue, Mercy ; nor condemn poor Sinners to the worft
of Torments, Defpair. Whilll there is Life, there is Hope.
They who never thought of Pardon in their Lives, found
it at their Death. What ! he who died for Man, can he
have the Heart to damn it ? The very Thief on the Crofs,
though abandon'd by Men, was carefl'ed by his loving Sa-
viour; and for one humble memento mei, received Mercy
in this World, and Paradife in the other.

Eufeb. Miftake me not, dear Neander.,, -I am not
for grafping an Immenlity, nor for prelcribing Bounds
to an infinite Being; I know God's Mercy is above the
Skies; but then his Juftice finks below the Abyfs; jw
dicio ejus abyjfus muha. We can't take the Height of
that, nor fathom the Depth of this. They are both equal,
i. e. infinite ; nay, they are the fame thing : For Ju-
ftice is Klercy, armed with Revenge ; and Mercy is Ju-
ftice, difpofed to Pardon. Why then fhould we dread
it in one Drefs, as well as dote on it in the other ? I am
not for cafting Men into Defpair. As it is the greateft
of Torments, fo it's the blackeft of Crimes, and the moft
irrational: This antedates Damnation, and gives us over
to Execution before God has pronounced the Sentence.
To damn your felves out of a Fear of being damned, is
the Top of Madnefs ; the ne plus ultra of Frenfy : To
think my Salvation impofiible, is to make it io ^ not to
D 3 hope

3S 7^^ G E N T L E M A N Ififtru^ed.

hope for Heaven, is the next way to lofe it. But then
if I hate Defpair, I abhor Prefumption ; if that leads us
to Hell by a diredl Line, this does the Bufinefs as effica-
ciouily. For can we outrage our great Mafter more,
than when we bend his augult Attributes to our Lewd-
nefs ? and build the Babel of our Abominations upon his
Goodnefs ? and our Crimes upon his Mercy ? Is not this
to fport with Majeily? to rally Authority? and to play
with Goodnefs? And pray what difference is there be-
tween defpairing of Mercy, and burlefquingit? This im-
pious Mirth, Ne under ^ will once end in Sorrow, and
thefe Peals of Laughter, in gnafhing of Teeth : But be-
caufe our Libertines put a great Strefs on the good Thief's
Converfion, and fancy their Deaths will refemble his,
no lefs than their Lives ; 'twill not be amifs to examine
the Point.

Firfi^ St. Bi'r^^ri tells us, that this Thief's Converfion
is the only Example, to be found in Scripture, of a de-
ferred Repentance that was fuccefsful. But, with Sub-
lnifTion, St. Bcrfiard miftook in the Calculation : For this
was not properly a deferred Repentance. The Thief an-
fwered the firft Call of his agonizing Saviour ; the firft
Glance of his Sacred Eyes wounded his finful Soul, and
melted his hard Heart into Love and Sorrow.

Secondly, The Thief received Pardon and Paradife :
But what did he to defervc this miraculous Favour ? He
adored Chrift, not feated on a Throne of Glory, but co-
vered vv'ith Shame and Infamy, torn with Whips, pierced •
with Thorns, outraged by his Enemies, forfaken by his
Friends : Befide, fome fay. Life v/as offered this Male-
fador, if he would deny Chrilt : But he chofe rather to
die with him, and for him, than to live without him. So
that now the Caufe of his Death was changed, and he
who was faftened to the Crofs a Robber, expired on it a
Martyr.

Juird/y, God fealed his Pardon ; but this Aa of Grace
was granted on the Day of Mercy ; and yet of fo many
Sinners that were Spedlators of this bloody Tragedy, we
know but this Thief, who was fo fortunate as to ask
Pardon, and to receive it. Tell me then, dear Neander^
Should we not rather draw Motives of Fear from the Mis-
fojtune of thoufands, than of Prefumption from the good
Luck of one ? If you look on the right Hand of our dy-

ing

^he Gentleman In/iruffed. ^p

ing Lord, pray call an Eye upon the Left; and if you
behold on the one fide a Saint, you'll difcover a Repro-
bate on the other. Let therefore Gentlemen learn Fear
from the Damnation of the one, as well as from the
other a dangerous Security. And I counfel all Chriftians
to draw this Conclufion from the different Deaths of thefc
two Malefadors, that it's a Madnefs to defpair, and Te-
merity to prefume; Unus eji nc difperes, unicus ne pr<c_
fumas.

Wherefore confecrate the firft Fruits of Reafon to God ;
you can't begin the Pradict; of Piety too focn, but may
t^olate; Nature, untainted with Vice, may be wrought
with Eafe into any Form, and caft in any Mould. It's
a kind of tabula rafa, a Blank, that almoft with the fame
Facility receives the Chara6ters of Angel, and of Devil ;
but when once it'sftained with Sin, when it's biaffed by
ill Habits, and worfe Principles, you will find it ftubborn
and rebellious. Be not then fo foolifh as to prefer Dan-
ger before Security, and to turn Pleafure into Toil. Take
Occafion by the Fore-top, it quickly pafles, and feldom
returns.

IX.

Religion is the Ground-work of Salvation ; and there-
fore you cannot be too tender of a thing that fo nearly
concerns your eternal Happinefs. I recommend this
Point to your Care with greater Eagernefs, becaufe at
prefent it lies under all the Difadvantage of Contempt,
and I fear the Gentry have a greater Hand in the Scan-
dal, than the Commonalty. Nothing, indeed, enters
more frequently in Difcourfe ; it's the vulgar Topick of
Converfation, the Subjeft of our Heats, the Source of
Dlvifions, and by Confequence of our Misfortunes :
Yet not one of a hundred knows the very Meaning of
the Word, and not two in a thoufand agree upon the
Thing J the very Ideas we have of it are wild and mon-
ftrous.

I have heard with Indignation and Horror, fome Gen-
tlemen pronounce ex Cathedra^ That Religion is a Grie-
vance ; noDuty, becaufe it controuls our moft noble Fa-
culty, the Underftanding, and enflaves us to blind Obe-
dience.

D 4 Otb«rt

40 ^he Gentleman InjiruBe^,

Others weigh Religion by Intereft, and proteft, tha^
Orthodoxy and Profit go together: So thatinthofeMens
Theology, 'Turcifm, with a i ooo /. per Annum^ is more
credible, than Chriltianity with foo.

Others again confound Religion withFa6lion, and fp
to carry on a black Defignilrikc in with any Conventicle i
they cry out for Liberty of Confcience, although they
have none for Reformation, though they delight in Tu-
mults, and feign the Angel to play the Fiend.

Others, like an abandon'd Brat, drop it at Church-
mens Doors, and fancy it is a Monfter of their begetting.
Craft (fay they) Jugling an^i Intereft brought it forth,
whilft Superftition and Poliq' maintains it.

Bat by thefe Gentlcmens leave. Religion is neither the
Produft of Spleen, nor the Fruit of Imagination; it is
neither a Statift's Engine, nor a Parfon's Invention ; it
came from Heaven, and was planted on Earth by Chrift
and his Apoftles ; and we muft either believe it here, or
burn for our Infidelity hereafter ; He that believeth, and
is baptized, /ball be faved j bui he that believeth not.^
Jloall be damned,

Thefe are our Saviour's Words, and they will be re-
ceived, I fuppofe, by Chriftians. The Apoftle delivers
the fame Dodtrine ; Without Faith it is irnpojfible topleafe
God. Nov; without doubt God made Heaven for his
Friends, not for his Enemies; for thofe who pleafe him,
not for thofe who contemn his Laws, and fport with his
moft peremptory Commands. Again, St. Augujiine tells
us, "^Ubi vera fides non ejl^ nee poteji vera ejj'e juflitia.
But it's Frenzy and Illufion to Excefs, to fancy, that a
Man not truly juft, will be admitted into the eternal Joys
of Heaven ; it follows therefore very juftly that Salvation
is a Chimaeraoutof Chrift's Church, and by confcquence,
that all thofe libertine Gentlemen, who play with Reli-
gion, and fport with Faith, are in a fair way to deplore
eternally their fadious Impiety. I would have 'em fpend
fome cool Thoughts on the Matter, ' and confidcr fcrir
pufly, whether a petty, brutifh, nay, atheiftical Satis-
fadlion can countervail a perpetual Mifery, and whether
they would not give more pregnant Proofs of Wit an4
Judgment bj enquiring after the true Religion, than by
kmpooning all.

* Dc Ser. Dciin monte. C. 19.

Tell

^ie Gentleman InJIruBed. 41

Tell me not you lead a moral Life, you walk by the
3_ight of Reafon, and frame your Condu6t by its invio-
lable Maxims ; that you neither curfe God, nor wrong
your Neighbour ; that you neither invade his Lands, nor
impeach his Reputation ; that your Hands are not dipt in
Blood, nor your Tongue in Gall ; that you defile no
Man's Bed, nor encroach on his Property. Thefe Nega-
tives will never unlock Heaven's Gate, nor place you in
Blifs. Faith muft carry a Torch before you, otherwife
you'll ramble in the Dark, and wander in Error, till the
Flames of Hell difplay the Miftake, and at the fame time
puniftj it.

But do you think, Neander^ that thofe Men, who talk
down Religion, and cry up Morals, are at the Bottom
greater Friends to the one, than to the other? Alas ! no;
their Actions are as libertine as their Belief; and if we
may judge by Appearance, they have no more of the
Man, than of the Chriftian. For whoever faw thefe
mighty Advocates of Morals, thefe Aflertors of Regula-
rity, ever ftand up in Defence of Vertue, but when they
adlually condemn'd it in Pra6lice ? I have often indeed
heard your qualified Debauchees talk moft feelingly of
Sobriety over Champaigne, of Temperance at a full Ta-
ble : And I once met with a Proftitute, that extolled
Chaftity like a Veftal. You muft therefore, when you
meet with Infidel Moralifts, fuppofe they only commend
Verlue in jeft, but praclife Vice iixgood earneft ; and that
they are as far from enflaving their Paffionsto the Laws of
Nature, as their Judgments to Divine Revelation.

Take not Religion upon Credit ; there are in the
World Teachers of falfe Tenets, as well as Coiners of
falfe Crowns ; and as you bring thefe to the Touch-
Stone, fo you muft bring thofe. To believe, you know
not why, is rather Stupidity than Faith; it is to unfence
Religion, to lay it open to the weakeft Allault of Schifm
and Herefy. In fine, to believe nothing is Madnefs, and
to believe any thing Folly. He is truly happy who walks
between thefe two Extreams, and neither believes too,
jnuch por too little.

X.

The Religion you muft embrace, is that which Chrift

i'evealed, and his Apoftles preached : This may be de-

' ■ ■ ■ ' nied

42 ^he Gentleman InJlraBed.

nied by a Jew or 7«ri, but not by a Chriftian. For, be-
ing God, he had Authority to command, 'and we have
an indifpenfible Obligation to obey ; nor could he fet up
Impoftures for Truths, or impofe Falfehoods under the
Ma^k of Divine Revelation. The Apoftles indeed were
Men, but inlpired from Heaven, and confequently no
more fubject to Error, than the Divine Spirit that gave
his Oracles through the Organs of their Mouths.

This is a Summary of your Duty to Goa : That vou
owe your Neighbour fhall be the Subject of our next En-
tertainment. In the mean time you mull be my Gueft
to Day, pray refufe me not the Favour.

Neai2. I sm at your Command J but let me defire you
to give me thefe excellent Documents in Writin* -
they are too long to be remembered, and too ufeful to be
forgot.

Eufeb. ril comply w^ith your Defires, and at my Lei-
fure fet down vv'hat I can call to Memory.

DIALOGUE IV.

Whether Gentlemen are obliged to praiiife Vertue.

" O Carce was Dinner ended, but in came Eleuthcrius,
*' O an Acquaintance of Eufebius ; he was a Gentleman
*' of a worthy Family, and of an Eftate fuitable to his
** Chara<^er. Liberty and Pleafure were his darling
" Pallions ; and I have heard him fay, he had rather
" want Grace than Wit, although he had no great Pro-
" villon of either. He could not endure to be crowded
*' with Vifits, or yoaked in Ceremony, becaufe fuch
*' Formalities entrenched on Freedom, and put Liberty
'* under Conftraint ; and for this Reafon he never went to
*' Court: For he compared Courtiers to fo many Slaves,
*' who move in Fetters, and live for others, not for them-
** felves; fometimes to worlc'd-down Labourers, more fit
** for Sleep than ricafare. In fine, he valued Eafe above
*' Greatnefs, and Senfuality above Confcience, fo that his
*' Name jumpt with his Humour ; his Religion was of
" the laft Edition, that is, Puritanifm cut on Independency^
^' and garnillvd with an Oleo of upftart Novelties ; he

" afcribed

T'he Gentle M 'AN Injlru^ed, 43

«« afcribed Man's Juftification to Faith alone, and there-
*' fore condemned good Works as heterodox, as En-
'* croachments upon Chriftian Liberty, and a Grievance
*' to the Subjeft: Hence he hated Humiliation-Days,
*' and could never be perluaded to fail till he had regaled
" his Appetite. One Day he moved that the Statute de
" comburendo Hceretico might be revived and executed
*' upon a Perfon for faying that ejiote perfect was ad-^
" drefled to Gentlemen ; he looked upon it as a fcan-
*' datum magnaium^ and a clipping of the Privilege of
*^ Peerage. In fine, he was of Opinion, that Fancy was
*' the only Rule of a Gentleman's Faith, and Pleafure
•« that of his A6lions.

Eufeb. Welcome, Eleuiherius^ pray fit down. Why
fo thoughtful and recollefted? I fuppofe you are come
from your Devotions, Morning- Service is juft done.
Eletithe. Why, Man, this is not the Lord's-Day.
Efifeh. Pray of what Religion are you ?
Eleuthe. I am a Chrijlatt.

Eufeb. Ah, that may be, butof what Perfuafion? For
that Notion reaches a great way ; There are Chriflian
Papijls, Chriflian T'nrki^ and Chriftian Infidels ; and then
there are Proteftants, and T'rue ProteftuMtSy and in fine,
there are Et C(Ctera ChrifHans^ with which of thefe do
you convene ?

Eleuthe. With all, and with neither; that is, I have
drawn off the Spirits from each, and left the Caput mor-
tuum behind ; in (hort, my Religion is new and modifh :
'Tis grinned at indeed by fome, but pradlifed by the
greater and more witty part of the Nobility ; 'tis Refor-
mation upon Reformation.

Eufeb. Metal upon Metal is a Solecifm in Heraldry,
and why not Reformation upon Reformation in Religi-
on? But under Favour, if general Pradlice hits right with
the Precepts of your Religion, they are fly-blown ; and
were I difpofed to doggrel it, I would only glofs upon
that Texx. Follow my Counfel, Eleutherius ; fay com-
mon Pradlice clafhes with its Maxims, or elfe you'll give
too great an Advantage to Criticifm and Enquiry. For
i^ what you fay be true, your Religion is without Fence,
without Rampart, and a little Reafon will batter the
whole Fabrick about your Ears ; for when the Queftion
jis about Good and Evil, Practice Hands on the wrong fide.

3ut,

44 ^he Gentleman Lijim^ed.

But, Sir, let us wave Difpute ; fuppofing. you are a
Chriftian, what Harm is there in going to Church on a
Feria ?

Eleuthe. What Harm is it to fink my Charadler, and
fling up my Charter?

Eiifeb. Why, Pray ing and good Workscome npt with-
in the Statute of Treafon, I hope. ■

Eleuthe. Take care, you may flip into a Praemunire
before you are aware. Liberty and Property are edged
Tools now-a-days, few have meddled with them with-
put a Scar.

Enfeb. You are in a very merry Vein to Day, but me-
thinks the Subjed: bears no Raillery. Prithee (Drollery
apart) what do you mean by Liberty, Property, and
Prsemunjre i*

Eleuthe. In fhort then, Gentlemen are not tied up tQ
Works of Supererogation, to Vertue, Perfection, and
twenty other Niceties ; all the World knows that Chri-
llians are free-born Subjedls, exempt from the Bondage
of Precept and Ceremony. They date their Liberty from
the Moment of their Baptifrn ; and a learned Clerk, let
me tell you, was of Opinion, that the very 7>n Com-
mandments expired v/ith the Synagogue. Now, Sir, to
bring Gentlemen upon their Knees to incumber their Li-
berty with Laws and Statutes, is to touch them in the
molt fenfible Part. Engl'ijhmen will Hand for their Birth-
right, and not give up tamely foconfiderable a Privilege;
^nd if you ilrive to wreft it out of their Hands, you may
perchance repent of the Attempt. You will have to do
with Numbers and Power: And though Truth Hands for
you, if Force fides againft you, the field will be loft.

Eufeb. This is Liberty indeed with a Vengeance. Na-
ture at this rate, and Senfuality, are let loofe, and have
a large Field to walk in. Becaufe Chrift came into the
World to banifli Sin, A'lan may open the Gate to all
Abominations ; he may break through all the Barriers of
Nature, Reafon and Religion ; he may cozen and mur-
der not only with Impunity, but alfo with Devotion. I
would have you draw up a Petition againft Goals, Pillo-
ries, and Execution ; nay, it would not be amifsat your
pext Coffee-Houfe Aflembly, to vote down Hell alio as
a Grievance to the free-born Subjects of the Covenant.

Eleuthe,

^'he Gentleman Injfru^ed. 45

Eleuihe. Nay, indeed the Parfon ftrain^ the Point, he
has over-ftiot the Truth and himfelf too; but I'll main-
tain at leaft that Gentlemen are not bound up to what Di-
vines call Vertue and Perfeftion ; thefe Fooleries look
well enough in a canonical Caflbck, or a Clergyman's
Drefs, but in Scarlet and Gold Lace they make a lean
Figure, they walk in Embroidery, as little David did in
Saul's hrmoVi^^ very aukwardly, and rather furnifli Mat-
ter for Diverfion, than for Edification.

Etifeb. Though this Thefis has lefs of Scandal than the
former, I am fure it is equally falfe. For tell me, have
not our Gentlemen and topping Mortals received from
the liberal Hands of God, a far greater Allowance of
Favour, than Vulgars ?

Eleuihe. No doubt of it; Nobility it felf is a Favour
of the firft Clafs ; it raifes a Man above the Crowd and
Smoak of the World, it entitles him to Honour andRe-
fpe6t ; the Prince moves here below, as the Sun does a-
bove in Glory and Magnificence ; Gentlemen are Stars
placed above him for Pomp,State,and Ornament ; befides,
Gentlemens Bodies have a finer Texture of Parts, than
thofe of a meaner Condition ; their Complexion is more
bright and fprightly ; their Air more polite ; in fine, Na-
ture is like Carvers, who flubber over thofe Pieces that
are condemn'd to Obfcurity, and polifh thofe with the
laft Exaftnefs that ftand in View.

Eufeb. You argue right for me ; but then you confute
your own Thefis. For if Gentlemen have received more
Favours than the Peafant, certainly they are obliged in
Honour, as well as Duty, to make a more ample Return
of Gratitude. For, fuppofe a Prince has raifed one
from the Degree of a Page to that of a Lord or Captain
of his Guards, that he has at the fame time flung in
1 2000 /. per Ann. to fupport the Title, and fet ofFhis Dig-
nity ; has not this new-dated Peer a more ftrait Obli-
gation to ferve his Royal Benefaftor, than a Dray-man,
that only enjoys the common Protection of the Govern-
ment? This is our Cafe to a Hair. You grant on the
one Hand, that fuch a Man lies not only under the com-
mon and fundamental Duties of a Subjedl, but alfo un-
der the additional Ties of Gratitude to ferve his Prince ;
anion the other you confefs, that God has with greater
Profufcnefs pour'd out his Liberality on Gentlemenj than

en

^6 ^he Gentle m'a n Injlru^ed,

on Clowns and Tradefmen ; why then is not their Obli-
gation greater to lerve him ?

Eleuthe, Their very Station and Rank is their Patent
of Exemption ; in fhort, they have no time : For you
mull allow a Gentleman ten Hours for Sleep, a Quarter
for his private Affairs ; two Hours to faunter from the
Stable to the Dog-kennel ; three for Dinner, and as ma-
ny for Supper j almoft fix for the Tavern, Coffee-houfe,
and Theatre : So that you may fee here remains no time
for God and Vertue.

Eufeb. Your Arithmetick over-balances your Chriftia-
nity. Is it not ridiculous, I mean impious, to take the
length of a Man's Duty by his Pradlice, to argue from
Fa61: to Right, and Subpaene Tranfgreffion to witncfs for
the Breach of a Precept ? You have carv'd out a Gentle-
man's Time exadtly enough, but not juftly ; and I doubt
much whether he will ftand to it in the next World, tho'
he may perchance in this. God bids 'em watch and pray
in the Gofpel ; and St. Paul in his Epillle recommends
Sobriety and Chaftity. Now I think Men feldom watch
or pray while they fleep, and as feldom learn Sobriety in
Taverns, or Chaftity in Brothels, or Morality in profligate
Converfation ; tell me then not what Gentlemen do,
but what they fliould do, which in fhort is this : As they
have but one Affair to manage, which is their Salva-
tion, fo all their Thoughts and A6lions muft look that
way; if any Motion warps from this Center, they fwerve
from their Duty > they muft baulk Appetite, not gratify
it; and either ilifle Paflions or fetter them ; they mult
be humble in Profperity, and great in Adverfity ; /. e. they
muft bear that with Moderation, this without Clamours
or Impatience; they muft rather forfeit their Lives than
Confcience, and poftpone Pleafure to their Duty. Thefe
are the Offices of Gentlemen : For Men were plac'd in
this World to cultivate Vertue, and to enjoy the Fruit
of it hereafter ; though they labour and fweat from the
Cradle to the Coffin, to advance their temporal Concerns,
they forward their Mifcry, and interrupt their Happi-
nefs; they are Strangers tp themfelves, and only Guefts
in their own Houfe i they drudge continually, yet do
nothing, and arc laborioufly idle. Tell me not then of
Sleep, Vilits, Hories, Hounds, Taverns, and Playhoufes ;
thefe Things, with fome grains of Allowance, may be per-
mitted-

^e Gentleman InfrttBed. 47

mitted Gentlemen as Amufementsand Diverfions,but not
as Bufinels; their Bufmefs, their grand Concern, and
their only Concern, is God*s Service, and their Salva-
tion ; and if they fquander the precious Moments of
Time he has afforded them, they abule the Gift and the
very end of their Creation.

Eleuthe. You are warm, methinks, and prefs very hard
on Quality; but I fuppofe you are only in the Vein of
Bantering, and intend to (hew how well you can manage
an ill Caufe, and that Wit and Dedamation can fome-
timesfupply the Place of Reafon and Argument; thou
ait excellently qualified for the Pulpit ; thou haft Words
and Inveftive at Command; prithee off with thy Jump,'
and on with a Caflbck ; thou wilt run down Vice at an
unmercii'ul Rate, and talk Debauchery out of Counte-
nance ; no Sin will ftand thee, no Herefy aiTront thee;
but, by the by, Eufebius, you are fubjed: to flip as well
as your Neighbours; and fometimes your Paffion runs fo
faft, that it dillances your Reafon : For I think you grant
that the bare Obfervation of God's Commandments will
carry a Man to Heaven, what then have we to do with
your Works of Supererogation, Mortification, andAufte-
rities? The very Word implies Counfel only, not a Pre-
•ccpt, and by Confequence no Obligation.

Eujeh. I grant what you defire, but then I mull add,
that without thefe Works of Supererogation, as you call
'em, you'll never keep ihofe Commandments. You can't
hit a Mark unlefs you level higher. Gravity finks the
Arrow under the firft Line of Direction in Spight of
the Impulfe. This is our Cafe, Nature draws towards
the Center, no lefs than Weight ; 'tis wanton and liber-
tine, and loves to range in the Latitude of fenfual Plca-
fure, not vv'ithin the Compafs of Law and Regularity.
Now if you loofe the Rein, and give it the whole Line
of Duty to play in, 'twill break through that Rcilraint,
and carry you beyond it. For, let me tell you. Appe-
tite .is not carefied into Duty, but beaten into it, and
Pallions are not to be tamed by Condefcendence. .Like
the Mobile, the more Liberty you give 'em, the more
they ask; they muft be dieted and brought low, other-
wile they'll fly in your Face. In fine, if you v/ill not
have 'cm ask what is unjufr, refufe 'em v.'hat is lawful ;
befides. Indulgence anus 'em, it gives 'em a Profpecl: of

their

48 51^5 G E N t L E M A N InflruBeL

their own Power and your Weaknefs; and then if each
iingle one be a Match for a Giant, who can refift the
whole Band drawn up in a Body? You boggle at great
Sins, but fwallow httle ones Without Scruple or Rcmorfe ;
you fhut your Ears againft the inward Calls of God's
Grace, and ftruggle with his Infpirations. All thefe things
are pfetty Quarrels with your Maker ; they are Contempts
and Difrepeds", though not Treafons. In fine, they are
Sins. Now, whofoever dare look a little Sin in the Face
without Horror, Will foon commit great Ones with
Pleafure; for they are both really Sins, and muft be re-
ipented of; the Difference lies only in the Greatnefs on the
one lide, and in the Littlenefs on the other. When Ma-
r'tus was fent againft the Cimbrl,, his Soldiers durft not
look the Enemy in the Face ; their gygantick Stature
and barbarous Afpeft cow'd the Roman Bravery : But
when they had beheld thefe barbarous Germans three
Days from the Camp^ their Spirits revived, and their
congealed Courage began to circulate through every
Vein ; they not only fought 'em, but overcame. Juft fo
a Man educated in the Principles of Chriftianity, can-
not think of the Breach of a Commandment, without
Trembling, without Convulfions ; but then he Hides into
trivial CommilTions: At Irrft, a Damp arifes over his Sto-'
mach, he is crop-fick, uneafy,.he continues on his Courfe,
and Confcience begins to ilumber; its Reproaches are
faint, its Strings fcarce perceptible; Cuftom flings in a
Dofe of Opium, and then it falls into a Lethargy ; and
Xvhen Man is once arrived at this Pitch of Infenfibility^
he boggles at no Impiety ; he breaks through God's Com-
mands, and will foon ftorm Hell to fatisfy Paffion.
From whence comes this, but from your Principle, That
Gentlemen are not tied up to Vertue, Patience, Humility ?
For did fuch Gentlemen mortify Appetite, and crufh
Senfuality in the Cradle ; did they place all their Satis-
fadlions in an abfolute Obedience to their Maker's Will,
and never allow Nature and Senfes any Play-days, they
would not have broke open the Inclofures of Duty, nor
left all in common to Licentioufnefs ; they had never
made their Inclinations their Law, nor Pleafures the fole
Boundaries of their Aftions: For thatAphorifm is moft
true, Nemo repente fit turpijjimus^ no Body jumps into
ill on the fuddain^ Negligence and Diftruft weaken God's

Com-

T'h Gentleman IiiftruM, 4p

Commands, before we venture to break 'em. Now fup-^
pofing all Men are oblig'd to Vertue, it naturally follows,
that this Obligation lies harder on Gentlemen.

Firji, They lie more in the reach of Temptation,
than People of an inferior Rank ; more in view of the
Enemy ; their Circumllances then require Vigilance ;
they muil Hand Centinel, and place Out- Guards for
fear of a Surprize. A poor Man that can fcarce furnifli
Necellaries for Life, has neither the Means nor Thought
to pamper Luxury ; Nature is work'd down, and ra-
ther cries out for Reft than Pleafure. In fhort, he can
fcarce Live, much lefs Riot; Pride can't come at liim,
it muftpafs through Muck, Smoak, and Penury to reach
him. Now this Vice is too high ftomach'd to ftoop fo
low, it loves not to lie on a Dunghil, or fleep on Straw ;
and a Man that daily fees a:nd feels nothing but Want
and Mifery, muft be mad before he can be proud, or
grow vain upon any fond Prefumption : Befides, Appetite
is fo kept under by Neceflity, that it can fcarce crawl ;
its very Delires reach no higher than Bread to fubdue
Hunger; and Clothes to fence off Cold, and veilNaked-
nefs. No ill Objeft palles through the poor Man's EyeS
into the Heart ; they draw in no Species, but thofe of
Beafts and Dunghils; fo that whatever they behold is
either rebating or innocent. Li fine, they are below
Temptation; and like a fmall difmantled Village, not
worth feizing. But Gentlemen ftand the Mark of every
Temptation, the World, the Flefli, and the DeviJ, feem
to have enter'd a tripple League againft them ; they are
mark'd out for a Slaughter and Sacrifice, they live in
the midft of Plague and Infe6lion, and can't take one
Step without meeting Danger, nor breathe without ta-
king in Contagion ; the World fawns on them ; PalTions
revolt, and the Devil cafts Nets to enihare them ; line
Sights debauch the Eyes, Mufick the Ears, Ragou's the
Tafte, Perfumes the Smell, and falfe Principles the Un-
derftanding ; Wine heats the PafSons, and Delicacies put
*em in a Ferment; fo that a Gentlem:in is befetonall
fides ; each Vice batters his Conftancy, and ail'aults his
Innocence. Now, what way can he come off with Vi-
d:ory? He muft raife Counter-Batteries, and difmount
thofe Engines that play upon him ; he muft make a Sally,
and f.\ce Pride with Humslii-v, I uxury with Continency,

E Intern-

50 ^he Gentleman Inftni^ed,

Intemperance with Sobriety, and Love of Pleafure with
that of Duty : In Morals as well as Phyficks Contraries
alone defeat Contraries. Does not Nature tell us, as
well as Experience, that when the Attack is brisk and
vigorous the Place will infallibly be taken, unlefs the
Defendant beat off Force with Force, and tire out the
Affailants with Refolution?

Secondly^ The Faults of the bafer fort of Mankind are
perfonaL They never fpread ; like an Apoplexy they
llnke but one ; the Mifchief ends where it begun, and
one Lifefatisfies its Fury. But Gentlemen's Crimes be-
come univerfal, like the Plague, they fweep away whole
Families, and drive Mortality and Defolation before 'em.
For the vulgar are an apifli Generation, rhey live on Imi-
tation, and are carried away by the Example of great
ones, as the inferior Orbs by the Motion of the fuperi-
or ; fo that if a Mailer throws his Vices among the
Family, they are foon pick'd up, and wore as Robes of
Honour. For Servanes that know their Fortune depends
on a Mafter's Smile, will not eafily difpleafe him. They
eye every Motion, ftudy his Humour, and ftrikein with
his Inclination : They applaud his Extravagancies firft,
and then adopt them by Practice. And thus by this abo-
minable Complaifance, Slaves oftentimes work them-
felves into their Mafter's Favours, and not fcldom into
their Eftates and Dignities. And then when Vice is fo
extravagantly rewarded, both with Eftate and Pleafure,
when a Man can debauch himfelf into a competent For-
tune, without other Charges or Expence, than that of
Confclence, 'tis odds he'll venture on the Enterprize.
Beiides, Sin's fupported with Efcritcheon and Title pafs
for Grandeur: Nay, and Vice at the Head of a pompous
Retinue is often miftaken for Vertue. For the Vulgar
judge by the Eyes, not by Reafon ; and whatever ap-
pears great, they conclude good, as if Glittering and ya-
lue were fynonymous. Who has fpread this Illulion
through tlie whole Mafs of thefe Morals, but the Nobi-
lity ?• Gentlemen therefore, befides the dired Obligati-
on of Obedience they owe to God, lie under a col-
lateral one of Charity towards their Neighbours, and
by Confequence, their Failings carry Scandal along with
'em, as well as Difobedience ; fo that every Crime they
commit may be call'd Legion,

Eleuths,

the Gentleman Infiru^ed. ji

Eleuthe. 'Tis time to take a little Breath, you'll over-
heat your Lungs, and difcompofeyour Fabrick. But pray.
Sir, under favour, are Mafters Gaolers ex officio ? or muft
they be Bail for their Servants good Behaviour ?

kufeb. No, but then they muft not be their Murderers.

Rleutbe. Why, I fuppole you don't intend to caft Ican-
dalous Refledlions upon the vi^hole Progeny of Mafters ?
Have a care, they may bring an A6tion of Calumny a-
gainlt youj 'tis dangerous for a fmgle Man to engage
with Numbers.

Enfeb. Let us not difpute of the Name, I fay you ftab
Souls ; if this be not Murder, 'tis fomething worfe ^ and
if our Laws take no Cognizance of it, God's do.

Eleuthe. What, Mafters muft play the Chaplains to
their Family, as N. N. did ; they muft on with the
Surplice and Tippet, and preach to the Text o^ Fifth ly^
Belo'ved, it itfo^ Is our Brother gone aflray ? Tea verily
to Perdition.

Eufeb. Laughing and Drollery are great Reliefs at a
non-plus. I have often feen fome in Converfation, when
their Stock of Reafon was laid out, extream lavifli of
fuch Impertinencies. Leave the Pulpit to the Parfon, but
preach within your own Walls ; at leaft by Example :
This is more perfuafive than Words ; 'tis within your
Sphere, within the Liberties of your Office and Obliga-
tion too; or at leaft flirowd your own Abominations un-
der a Cover ; let them not take Air, they'll lit more
eafy on your Confcience, and not entangle others; if
you'll not couple together the Office of Chaplain and
Mafter, don't that of Gentleman and Devil.

Eleuthe. I perceive by your Difcourfe, that Gentlemen
will not gain your good Will, unlefs they put on Fetters,
and fee their Keepers. Slavery is not fo valuable a Blef-^
iing, as to be purchas'd. People often buy Liberty, but
feldom Chains. I muft ftand forfooth upon Refervednefs
and Ceremony with my Lacquey or Groom., put a Re-
ftraint upon my Freedom, mure up my Mouih, andftifle
Mirth, or elie cry out, Jack^ under Favour ! Or, prt^y be
not fcandaliz\il Is not this to put Jack in the Coach, and
perch my Lord behind it i* To place Tom in the Parlour,
and bind over Right Worjjjipful to the Kitchen ? -In fhort.
Speculation and Theory may approve your Morals, Pra-
dice cannot. We hire A-Ien's Service, not their Devotion*
E i Eujel>>

52 ^he Gentleman Injiru^ed,

Etifeb. Very well, according to your Cafuiftry, Prece-
dents vie the standard of Right, and then in the hmi
Figure and A4ode it follows plain enough, that becaufe
Men damn themfelves, they do it luftly, and we are e-
ternall}' miferable by Law. The Confequence is logical
enough, but not too Chriftian. However, if Hell have
fuch wonderful Charms, run into its Embraces : But re-
member there is no return; and look before you jump,
elfe you may condemn your Folly, but not amend it.
quick Refolutions are foon repented.

Eleuth -i lu arofe in a Heat^ and walked about the Room,
his Pulje beat high^ and one might read the Trouble of his
Mind on hii Cheeks.

Eleuthe. I love not thofe fevere Morals, they cow the
Spirits, disjoint Converfation, and clog Freedom. Spleen
begot 'em. Melancholy nurs'd 'em, and Envy recom-
mended them to the Pulpit. For I find thofe Men are
the great Companions of Vertue, that are not able to
be vicious ; and thofe declaim moil againft Pleafure
that are pall enjoying it. Yet thele falfe Devotees will
needs impofe on Gentlemen, and let their Impotence as
a Law for others.

Eufeb. Look ye, there is no Harm done ; you are ftill
Mafler of your Pradlice, though neither of us can com-
mand Principles ; thefe come not within the Precin6l of
your Liberty ; are neither fubjedl to Change or Alterati-
on ; Semper idem is their Motto. In a Word, Sir, I
mould not my Difcourle to an Humonll's Inclination, but
to the Rules of Truth. Judgment and Convidlion move
my Tongue, not Adulation. If I have impofed on you,
unmafk the Impofture ; if not, let good Humour run in
its ordinary C!)hannel. To llrike in with a Patient's Dif-
eafe, is not Kindnefs but Cruelty; and I believe you
had rather be eafed of a Dillemper with Coloquintida,
than to be lent into the next World with Juleps.

Eleuthe. It's true, but I would not be debarred of El-
bow-Room, not willingly fit in the Stocks^ or be awed
by a Groom or a Foot-Boy. I would not bid Defiance
to Confcience, nor War upon the Almighty. I am wil-
ling t© condefcend to an Agreement upon honourable
Conditions.

Eufeb. What ? Will you Hand upon Terms with your
Maker! and Article with your Creator? id eji, you'll

vouchfafe

7'he Geutl^maij ItifiruBed ^^

vouchfafe to be his Servant, provided he takes off all
Reftraint from Nature, and give you leave to live at
Difcretion ? Fye, fye, Eleutherius, you are too weak to
grapple with the (Omnipotent, when he commands you
muft obey.

Eieuthe. Right, when he commands ; the Queftion is
not de jure, but de fado, not whether he can command
thele Trifles you fpokeof, but whether he has commanded
'em. For in fhort, wc bawl upon the Topick ofVertue
and Vice, and yet we fcarce know what we wou'd be at.
For what one Country approves another condemns; and
what defervesthe Halter under one £/?z^(a^/o« merits a Pa-
tent under another. The Lacedemonians rank'd fubtil
Thefts among the Vertues, and punifh'd your clumfy
Lurchers; as if the Sin conlifted in the Difcovery alone.
In other Places it's an A6t of Piety to feed heartily on a
deceafed Relation, and an unpardonable Crime to de-
liver a Father over to the Mercy of Worms.

Eufeb. What do you mean ?

Eleuthe. I mean, that Good and Evil, Right and
Wrong, Vertue and Vice, lie much in Fancy and Educa-
tion ; that Policy and Cuftom coin thefe different Noti-
ons. Why elfeisthe fame thing Good under one Meri-
dian, and Evil under another ? Popery in ltaly\ France,
and Spain, is voted orthodox ; in England heterodox.
Beyond Seas Fafting and Celibacy are meritorious., in Eng-
land Celibacy is fuperftitious, vain and hypocritical.
So that in Conclufion, Good and Bad vary with the Cli-
mate, and by Confequence take their Being from Imagi-
nation, Interefl, or Civil Authority, unlefs you'll lay
that all Mens Reafon is not of the fame Species.

Eufeb. No doubt, you have harangued excellently on
the Text of Libertinifm ; why don't you confound all
Religions, as well as all Adlions?

Nean. I believe he does : For if Vertue and Vice differ
only in Name, .Faith and Infidelity may eaiily be recon-
ciled, and then Mahometifm may be put in as good Pre-
tenfions to Revelation as Chriflianity.

Eufeb. Prllhee Eleutherius, talk no more of Faith, of
Church, of Religion ; thy Breath fmells rank enough to
fly-blow Truth, and to taint the Gofpel.

Eleuthe. Adieu ; my Bufmefs calls upon me. Pray let
pur next Converfation be more palatable.

E 3 Enfek,

J4 *f^6 Gentleman InfiruBed,

Eufeb. By all means; we'll talk of Wine, Women, and
Venfon Pafties; thefe are palatable Topicks for Epicures
and Scavingers, but not for Gentlemen and Chriftians.

Eleuthe. Gentlemen, your humble Servant.

Etifeh. You fee, Neander^ Eleutherius's univerfal Pra-
(flice, drawn up in fhort; can Blindnefs, Stupidity and
Madnefs foar higher? Like crowned Vidims thefe un-
happy Creatures dance and fing under the fatal Stroke
without Concern, without Senfe of the Danger! They
laugh and droll one Moment, and begin the next to weep
eternally. Oh Frenzy ! They poft in full Speed in the
broad Way to Perdition, and will needs be told they fpur
to Heaven ! What Notions have thefe Men of the other
World, who live fo madly in this ! Surely they fancy the
Soul fiafhes into nothing, when the Body falls into Dull,
and that they die like Beafts, they live fo like 'em. Yet
thefe are your well-bred Gentlemen, your Men of Parts
and Merit : And indeed one muft have extraordinary
Breeding to compliment our felves into Hell; one
muft be witty to Madnefs, and prudent to Folly, to con-
trive our eternal Mifery fo efficacioufly, But feeing they
will not profit by our Inftrudions, let us, Neander, by
their Stupidity: We'll leave them to the mfe Ives ; their
Vices can't damn us ; both Glory and Punilhment are
perfonal ; we have made a Day's Work of it ; to mor-
row we'll profecute the fame Subjedt.

DIALOGUE V.

A Profecution of the fame SubjeSi.

"" JpLcHther'sus at his return to his Lodging, grew un-
*' •'-■^ eafy and fullen ; the late Difcourfc had alarm'd
'' his Fears, and awak'd his Confcience, which began in
*' good Earneft to call him to an Account, and flung be-
■^^ fore him an ungrateful youmal of his Vices. The un-
" happy Gentlem.an was unacquainted with fuch Re-
*' proacbes, he fcarce underftood the Language, and
" found in himfelf no Inclination to learn it. He thought
*' he had treated Confcience fo ill, it would net have the
*' Confidence to return ; and indeed for fereral Yeare he
^^, heard no News of it i which made him fufpedl it was

'*' deceafed^

"fhe Gentleman Injirn^ed, 55

*' deceafed, or had taken a Turn to the lndle% for Di-
*' verfion.

*' So that he knew not what to make of thefe unufu:.I
*' Gripes, of thefe Aches of the Stomach. Atfirfthelu-
" fpedted Etifchius had Intelligence with Satan ; and cried
*' out for a Divine and Exurcifm. For v/hy, faid he, can't
** Potions conjure up from Hell the Devii offe-ar, as well
*' nsPhtltrunjs raife the Fury of Love? But he loonc'^n-
*' feis'd, the Devil's Eufinefs was to deaden kemorfe,
" not to quicken it ; to gag Confcience, not to provoke
*'■ it into Clamours and Reproaches.

*' Though Eufehius had argued down the Gentleman's
'* Underftanding, hemadeno Impreflion upon his//- ///;
*' though this Faculty be really blind, it afFe6ts Com-
" mand, and feldom fails to ufurp the Government tn-
" tail'd on Reafon, whenever it's feconded by the-Re-
*' bellious Mobile of unruly Paffions. Hence it comes
*' that our Judgment generally ftrikes in with our Incli-
** nation, and feldom pronounces againft our Intereft
" and Pleafure.

" Eleutherius had been train'd up in the wild Princi-
** pies of Libertinifm ; and having tafted the Sweetnefs
*' of an uncontrouled Liberty, he found in himfelfno
** Propenfion to enllave his Reafon to the Rules of Reve-
" lation, nor his Praftice to the Laws of Morality;
*' wherefore he brib'd his Will to over-reach his Reafon,
" and very eagerly helpt on the Impofture. His Endea-
*« vour proved fuccefsful; for in Spight of Conviftion
" he queftioned the Arguments of Eufebius, and laid his
" late Defeat on the Weaknefs of his own Abilities, not
" on the Force of his Adverfiiry's Reafons: And now
" his Confcience began to fpeak in a lower Tone ; it
*' upbraided him with a fainter Accent and a kind of
" Refped ; nor did he doubt but a fecond Conference
*' would fend it again beyond Sea -, but he would not
" leave the Caufe to his own Management, but pitch
*' upon his Friends, a Barifter and a Courtier, whom he
*' fuppofed to be mighty Wits, becaufe they laught at
*' Piety to Scandal. The Defign was laid handfomely,
*' and had a promifing Afpedl ; for though the Lawyer
*' managed his ill Tongue, the other was excellent at
^' his Weapon, and fo might pufh on the Caufe with a
** fleel Point, as well as with a brazen Forehead.

^ E 4 Eleuthe-

j;6 ^he Gentleman InftruBed,

■ '' £/(f«^^^m// next Morning defired £«/£?^/»; to favour
" him with a Vifit in the Evening; hepromired to meet
*' him at his Houfe, and put off Neander till the next
" Day. He went at the Time appointed, but found
*' only Eleutherimh Lady at home. She received Eu[e-
«' bim with Civility, and defired him to exped her Hus-
*' band's Return.

" She was a Lady of the Town, an Admirer of Eafe,
" and a mortal Enemy to Conllraint. One Part of the
^' Morning fhe lay in her Bed, the other fhe fat at her
*' Toilet. She fpent the Evening either in receiving Vi-
** fits, or returning 'em. Her Wit run before her Judg-
*' ment, but her Tongue diftanc'cl both. In fine, her
f' Thoughts foared not an Inch above Earth. She was
" wedded to the World, enchanted with the prefent,
?' and unmindful of the future,

" After fome ufual Civilities, pray Sir, faid fhe,
^' give me leave to enquire what pafs'd between my Hus-
^' band and you Yefterday, he return'd in Djforder; I
^' hope there was no Blood drawn.

'Eufcb. None: My Duelling-Days, Madam, arepaft,
my Sword has llept fome Years in the Scabbard, and
nothing but an extraordinary Occafion fhall releafe it
from that Confinement.

Lady, Perchance, you bled his Pocket; Bleeding is
fenfible to fome Conftitutions in that Vein ; and I have
feen Perfons who would let out feven Ounces of Blood
with fewer Grimaces, than one of Silver. And indeed
KleuthertHs is of this Humour, his Money and Patience
go together.

Eufeb. We paft the Afternoon in Difcourle, not in
Play, and I fuppofe he took Pet becaufe we could not a-
gree upon the Point in Quellion.

Lady. You furprize me, Sir; he and I play at crofs
Queftions every Day ; nay, we feldomare of the fame
Opinion: Yet you v/ould take him for a Dove without
Gall, without Fail'ion, yea without Senfe, he bears my
Humour fo tamely: Certainly you difcufs'd a Matter of.
Importance, to talk him into fuch an extraordinary Di-
flemper. May I be fo rude, as to ask you the Subjeft of
your Converfation.''

Eufeb. Madam, the Subjedl was, Whether the Gentry
be not obliged to pradtife Chriftian Vermes ^ and whether

thb

^he Gentleman InJiruSied. . 57

this Precept, be perfeft, falls not as heavy on Lords and
Ladies, as on Valets de Chambres and Waiting Women ?
Eleutheriui maintained the Non-obligation, and treated
me with Heat and Paffioni becaufe I would not give up
-the Gofpel to efpoufe his Error.

Lady. Indeed, Sir, I do not enter into Men's Concerns,
but I am of Opinion, that Precept reaches not our Sex.
Our Conllitution is delicate, foft, and unattemptlng,more
fit for Eafe than Labour, and more inclinable to Pleafure
than Pain. Befides, Liberty is our Favourite, andCon-
ftraint our mortal Enemy. The very Name of a Precept
chills our Blood, and the Obligation of a Command is
an invincible Temptation to tranfgrefs it. God therefore
feeing our Nature unapt for Burden, cannot furely over-
charge it with Prohibitions or Commands.

Eufeb. But I fuppofe, Madam, you have fome Preten-
fions for Heaven ; you hope to enjoy God in the next
World, as well as his Creatures in this.

Lady. I'll endeavour to be happy here, and hope to be
fo hereafter. Surely, Sir, you don't take me for a Japo-
nefe without Soul, without Expedation of a future State ?

Eufeb. No, Madam ; but of too much Liberty of
Principle and Education too. But pray, how will you
find God unlefs you feek him ? And how will you be re-
ceived into Heaven at your Death, unlefs you prepare
the Way to it by Vertue in your Life ?

Our Saviour was pleafed to aflure Mankind, that the
Way to Heaven is narrow and uneven : Perchance your
Ladyfhip has fallen upon a more convenient Road, and
intend to ride thither in a Coach and Six.

Lady. I feek his Will in the Bible, and his Prefence in
the Church.

Eufeb. But do you alfo in your Adions ? Alas, Ma-
dam, the Knowledge of God's Commands will not fave
you ; and I fuppofe many mourn in Hell, who fometimes
vilited the Church on a Sunday. You know. Madam,
the greateft part of human Anions are of themfelves in-
different, and take their Value from the Intention: They
muft be directed to God's Honour, to benefit our Souls ;
and tend to his Glory, to forward our Salvation. May
I be fo bold, as to entreat your Ladyfhip to favour me
with a brief Account of the Method you ufe in the Obla-
tion of your Adions ?

Lady,

58 7'he Gentleman InJlruBed.

Lady. Sir, I have not yet refolved on a GonfcfTor; 1
own no fuch Obligation ; and I am notdifpofed to Works
of Supererogation ; and therefore you mull not expedt
to found my Confcience, or to read my Thoughts.

Eufch. I confefs, I am not quite furnifh'd for the Em-
ployment of Direction ; and I had rather be condemn'd
to the driving of Lyons^ than to be leading of Beatas.
But however feeing yoif are pleas'd to refufe me the Fa^
vour I demanded, you will let me try, at Ieaft,lf I can hit
on your method. •

" Omnipotent Eternal God! for thy fake I intend to
" devote evtry Action of this Day to the World, with-
" out leaving one Thought for Heaven. My only C^re
*' fhall be to have none, and my only Study to avoij So-
" licitude. I'll glitter in Silks and Silver, and hang
" Lordfliips in my Ears ; tho' my Sons become \^?x]y^r\<^
" my Daughters Chamber-maids, and my Husbanu i.uls
*' out my Bravery in the King's-Bench or the MurJ}jr,:iea.
" I'll v^ant nothing at Table but Appetite, and n.iher
*' run upon Tick, than keep within the Bounds of Fru-
** gality or Decency. After Dinner I'll either give or re-
*' turn Vifits, and entertain the Company at the Expence
*' of Modefty and Charity. And in the Evening I'll
" drive to Hide-Park, and from thence ftrike off to »
*' Ball or a Comedy. I'll pleafc thofe Gallants who pleafe
*' me J. and fmile on thofe wjio extol my rare Perfedli-
" ons. Ail this, O God! I offer up, ef^.

In good Earnell, Madam, dare you banter, the Moll
High at this monftrous Rate ? Would not fuch an Offer-
ing (like that of Cain) draw down a Curfe inftead of
a Bleffing? What! do we feek God by trampling upon
his Commands ; and merit Heaven- by deferving Hell !
Or is not this a faithful Copy of your Pradice ? Is it not
your Study, your Bufinefs, your only Employment to
invent new Pleafures, and then^to enjoy 'em? Now,
Madam, if you dare not offer up your A6lions to God,
with what Face can you exped a Reward ! Will he re-
compenfe Vice, and crown Impiety ? Or have I miire-
prcfented your Conduct ? Don't you rave after Pleafure,
Vanity, and Gallantry.

Lady. What then r

Eufeb. S t. Paul is very pcfi tive^T'hat a Woman that li-veth
in Pieafure^ is dead while pe iiveth : She lives in Appea-
rance,

The Gentleman Injim^ed. jp

ranee, but is dead in EfFedl ; fhe has indeed the Life of
Senfe, but not that of Grace, and by Confequence will
never enjoy that of Glory.

Ladv. Pray, Sir, can't a Woman wear fme Apparel
without forfeiting her Robe of Innocence ? Mull fhe rife
from a full Table to fnfFer eternal Hunger? Muft fhe be
convey'd from thePIay-Houfe into a Place of Torments ?
Can't we be happy in the next World, unlefs we lie con-
tinually ftretcht on Racks and Tortures in this ?

Eufeh. Our Blefied Saviour, Madam, fliall be heard,
if you pleafe, upon this Point. IVoe be to the Rich, t»
thufe that feajl, to thofe that laugh. You have, Madam,
a plentiful Ellate, you regale your Appetite, you laugh
fometimes at your Neighbour's Vertues, and as often at
the Expence of his Reputation : Do not therefore our Sa-
viour's Malediftions concern your Lady fhip ? And will
he receive you in the next World with an Euge, who
ftrikes you with a tripple Fie in this ?
' Lady. You mifapply Scripture, to forge an Argument,
and play the declaiming Pedaint: Is it a Sin to vifit the
Play-Houfe, to dance at a Ball, to have a comfortable
Eftate, a well-furnifh'd Table, and upon Occafion to
. fmile ?

Eufeb. I anfwer firft, though thefe A6tions taken in
Retail are not criminal, yet taken in a Lump they can't
be innocent. For is it lawful, do you think, to confe-
crate all the IVToments of your Life to Eafeand Pleafure,
to carefs Pallion, and court Senfuality, to make Satis-
faction the Principle and End of all your Defires and
Endeavours, and not to give Vertue the very Place of an
Accellbry? What mean thofe Precepts of Self-Denial, of
fufFering, of mortifying the Sallies of the Flefh r Do they
Hand for Cyphers in the Gofpel, or were they made mere-
ly to tranfgrefs ? Did the Son of God efpoufe our Nature
with all its Infirmities? Did he fufFer Hunger, Perfecu-
tion, Whips and Death to purchafe us Grace, to be
drawn from Hide-Park to the Theatre, from thence to
Balls and Feafts ? Did we come into the World to dance
Minuets and Rigadoons ? To fing Air? either amorous or
yncharitable ?

Secondly, To fee a Play that is either innocent or in-
ilru6live, is no Sin. But then to fee five hundred Plays,
that from the Prologue to the Epilogue, are either ftuft

with

6o 'The Gentleman InJlrtiBed.

with Blafpliemy, or larded with Atheifm, or embroide-
red with Smut and Ribaldry, is a Sin. Can a Chriftian
with a late Confcience take Pleafure in hearing the Name
of his Redeemer reviled, in feeing every part of his cru-
cified Saviour recrucified in horrid Oaths ? Does a Spe-
ctator of this fecond Crucifixion bear him more Reve-
rence than thofe of his firft ? Can you fee without a
Crime, Vertue brought every Evening to the Scaffold
either as a Criminal or a Harlequin to be punifh'd or hoot-
ed atj and Vice ticad the Stage firft with Pomp, and
then go oiF with Reward ? Is it not a Sin to countenance
one ? And who countenances thofe Scenes of Libertinifm
but thofe who pay the Players and applaud the Poet ?

I do not fay it's a Crime precifely to dance fometimes
at a Ball, to ling an Aire alumode^ to enjoy a fair Eftate,
to fit at a full Table, or to wear a gaudy Mantua, if you
clear Accounts with Merchants and Taylors. But, Ma-
dam, thcfe Amufements are waited on by fo violent, fo
provoking Tempations, that a Lady fmitten (to Tran-
fport and Dotage with thefe Vanities) will certainly fall
into many crying Olfences, and by confequence draw
<Jown upon her finful Head both the Maledidions and
Vengeance of our Blefled Saviour.

For alas! if the moft watchful are fometimes furpri-
zed, are not thole in Danger who fleep in the very Camp
of their Enemies ? If thofe Chriftians can fcarce over-
pome the Allurements of Vice, who confine themfelves
to Retirement and Solitude; who check Appetite, who
balk Paflion, and crucify the Flelh; will thofe withftand
the Attacks of Concupifcence, the Aflaults of Satan, the
fawning Charms of the World, who inflame the Blood
with high feeding, who embolden Paflion by a criminal
Condefcendence, and foolifhly brave the Force of the
Devil's battering Engines without the Armour of Pray'r,
Humility, and Mortificat'on?

Lady. Pray, Sir, be pleafed to cut out fom.e Work for
Ivadies ; fet 'em a Task, regulate their Employment; I
fuppofe you'll remove us at leaft four Miles from£oWo»,
as the Governniefit does, on Occnfion, Papijis; or pro-
vide us with Wheels and Flax ; or confine us to the Dairy
to make Cheefe-Cakes :ind Cujiards for the Family.

Enfei;. Kfo, Madam, Town- Air is proper for your
Complexion. I am not for Removal into the Campaign^

nor

nor for gracing your Ladyfliip with the Title of Spin-
ftrefs; (tho' perchance the Law does ;) I am of no level-
ling Principles ; Qiiality has Prerogatives, and I would
have you maintain 'em : But then if you are a Lady, you
are alfo a Chriitian, and mull make good the Character,
ideji, you mull love thofe very things you hate, and hate
thofe you dote on: Eafe is your Darling, ?.nd Pleafure
your Favourite Inclination ; you muft withdraw your
Affeftion from the one, and profecutc the other with A-
verfion; you pamper your Body to Excefs, and carefs it
almoft to Idolatry ; you muft treat itii'cean Enemy ; you
muil cut off all fuperfluous Sollicitude, and Itint it to
what is meerly necefiary ; your Equipage and Furniture
muft anfwer your Rank, not your Vanity; and you muft
meafure 'em alfo by your Husband's Eftate, as well as by
his Quahiy ; you muft educate your Children in the
Fear of God, and give 'em Breeding fuitable to their
Excradtion.

" Her Ladyfhip flew out into a Paflion; and had not
«' EleuiheriHs returned in the Nick of Time, Eufebius
" might have found by Experience, that good Counfel
*' is oftentimes ill received: But Eleutherius^ Prefence
«' conjured the Tempeft. He begg'd £a/£-/^/aj's Pardon
" for having difappointed him, and told him ingenu-
" oufly, he came from beating the Drum, to invite two
*' Volunteers to continue the Combat, but they refufed
" to enter into Service.

" Pray Sir, replied Eufehius^ let the Controverfy
" fleep, I have delivered my Opinion, if it jars with
*' yours, I cannot help it ; you are your own Mafter.
*' After fome indifferent Difcourfe, Eufebius returned
***■ home, and the next Day gave a Vifit to Neauder, and
*' profecuted his former Difcourfe thus.

DIALOGUE VI.

Eufebius injirudi Neander in the Duties that regard our
Neighbour.

Eufeb. T Touched briefly at our laft Meeting the Branch
X of Cliriftian Duty that relates to God. Pil now

lum

61 "fhe Gentleman lnjiru5ied,

fum up the moft eflential Parts of your Obligation to-
wards your Neighbour.

I.

Love your Neighbour ns yourfelf^ fays the Text j arid
our blefled Redeemer afliires us, that Love, Concord
and Union are the moft diftinguifhing QuaUties of a
Chriftian. The primitive Believers fet fuch a Value on
this darling Vertue of God made Man, that one Heart
feem'd to animate all their BodieSj and one Soul to go-
vern all their Aftions : So that the very Heathens, who
hated their Religion, admired their Charity, and were
forc'd to confefs, that nothing but a Divine Hand could
ftrike that heavenly Concord from fuchaDifcord of Hu-
mours, Inclinations and Interefts,

And left Self-Love might reftrain the Word Proxiums^
as xhtjeivs confine it, to Countrymen, Friends and Re-
lations, our Saviour has been pleas'd to extend it to all
Mankind ; fo that without Diftindion, without Limita-
tion, it takes in the whole Species. Whofoever bears the
Imprefs of God on his Forehead, though he carry that
of the Beaft on his Heart, is ftiil our Neighbour. No
diftance of Place can cut off the Affinity, no length of
Time can wear out the Obligation.

Nor muft this Divine Vertue only play on our Tongue^
or evaporate into genteel Difcourfes, or fmooth Compli-
ments wrapt up in Terms of Courtfliip j no, it muft not
end in Grimace or Ceremony, but ftand the Tcft of A-
<5lion ; fine Proteftations of Kindnefs too too often veil
traiterous Defigns, and fugar'd Words poifonous Inten-
tions : Nor is it a new Treachery to prefent the Olive
of Peace with one Hand, and the Stiletto with the
other.

II.

Chriftian Charity taken in its full Latitude, implies
Precepts both negative and pofitive ; by thofe you are
moft feverely forbid to contrive any Mifchief againft
your Neighbour J by thefe you are commanded to be as
ufeful to him as your Circumftances permit, and his Ne-
ceflities require.

III.

Hence you muft not invade )'Our Neighbour's Honour,
nor make any Attempt upon hi? Reputation: A good

Nam?

'fhe Gentleman InftruHed. 63

Name is no contemptible Treafure ; the wife Man pri-
zes it above an Eftate ; it fets off Birth, and gives an
Air even to Poverty ; it fhines brighter than Wealth, and
fparkles more than all the Tinfel Gawdry of Fortune;
it fupports Grandeur, and fweetens Misfortune. A Bank-
rupt that has loll his Coin, if he has not forfeited his
Honour, has a Refource at Command. Though his For-
tune be fallen, he has a Fund to rebuild it on ! But a Man
without Honour is dead to all the Offices of Society and
Commerce ; now when his moral Capacity lies in the
Grave, his phyfical one alone creates Mifery and Con-
tempt to himfelf ; Sport for feme, and Pity for others.

God has fo entailed this Bleffing to every individual,
that it's not at our Difpofal ; we can neither make over
this Property by Deed of Gift, Bill of Sale, or Mort-
gage It at Pleafure. Much lefs can any other Man lay a-
ny claim to it. You may commence a Suit of Law a-
gainft me, if you think I am your Debtor; but you can't
put in a Bill againft my Honour. If I have wrong'd you,
fae for Satisfadlion ; llrain my Goods, but aflail not my
good Name.

Yet, Good God ! with what Freedom, with what
Bcldnefs do we attack our Neighbour's Reputation ? One
would think Fame, like bona adefpota^ Goods without
Owner, belonged to the flrll Invader.

Detraftion is universally the Difcourfe alamode, not
only among the Fry, but alfo among the Nobility, Our
Converfations are begun and carried on at our Neigh-
bour's Expence, and fo we laugh and riot at free-coft ;
we drag out his molt fecret Failings to the Bar, nay, and
haul 'em to Execution without Authority, without War-
rant, yes, with a greater Crime.

Suppofe his Crimes were real ; what then ? Who made
us Judges ? Who commiffioned us to hang the Delinquent
in Effigy ? To proclaim on the Houle Tops what he
committed in his Clolet ? Though he has loll his Honour
in the Sight of God, he Hands fair in the Efreem of ?ylen,
and has Right to continue fo, till his Crimes betray them-
felves, and expofe his Iniquity to the Publick : If he lias
done ill, God will call him to a fevere Account, but we
muft not intermeddle. ■ It's our Duty to p'ity a Sinner,
and to pray for him, but not to upbraid him.

I onlv

^4 ^^^ Gentleman InflruM.

I only jelled, fays one. But why muft I pay for your
Diverfion? Though you publifh my Faults in Jeft, yois
ftab my Reputation in Earneft. But belides, by this ve-
ry Excufe you acknowledge yourfelf a Fool, to prove
your Innocence : For to jeft and to play the Fool are in
Practice fynonymous.

He is my Enemy, fays another. Did you inform the
Company of this Circumftance, you might perchance
detrad more, and fin lefs ; for who believes an Enemy ?
On fuch an Occafion all goes for Satyr and Invedlive.
When the Heart is out of Tune, the Tongue never goes
right; but you whet and oyl your Darts, that they may
pierce deeper. You command me to conceal your Paf-
fion, and then dete6l my Life to fKew me for a Mon-
fter; and thus you call in Artifice to fecond Malice, and
mifufe your Wit, to ruin an Innocent, and to enhance
your Guiltd

But why am I your Enemy i* Becaufe I would not re-
folve to be your Dupe. You fet Traps to enfnare me;
I difcovered" the Ambufcade, and had Wit to avoid it :
And thus you take the Liberty to bcfpatter my Fame,
becaufe you wanted Power to affront my Perfon.

Yet, though I am yoar Enemy, you are not, I fup-
pofe, an Infidel. If I have failed in my Duty, muft you
betray yours for Company ? You are a Chriftian, and
muft therefore either forget or forgive. My Impiety can-
not warrant yours. Revenge is caufa major ^ and only be-
longs to the Court of the moft High. At his Bar alon6
we muft plead our Caufe, and from his upright Judgment
we muft expeft Redrefs.

Ah, dear Neander ! Let us turn our Eyes homeward,
and examine our own Conduft ; we may perchance find
there Matter for Satyr, and Work for Repentance. Here
we may blame without Detradlion, and condemn with-
out Sin. But it's both mean and unchriftian, like Flies>
to hover about our Neighbour's Stores, Put a Centinel
over your Tongue ; it's a flippery A/iember ; Nature has
framed it for Motion, and Malice has fitted it for any
Mifchief; a Child can fet it a running, but all the Force
of Reafon, all the Checks of Confcience are not able t6
ftop it in its Career.

But above all things be cautious and tender of Ladies
Reputations; A Woman's Honour, like her Sex, isfoft

com-

fhe Gentleman Injiru^ed, 6^

complexion'd ; the very Breath fulliesits Luftre, and a
Touch daflies it in Pieces. Wounds made by the Tongue,
(like the biting of Crocodiles) are above the healing Vir-
tue of Balfam, and the Skill of Surgery. Quod dentibus
iaceravit^ nunquam fanatur. An indilcreet Word bolt-
ed out at random, without Deiign, without Adalice, of-
tentimes ftabs the Fame of the Female Sex, and every
Wound is mortal.

My Blood has often curdled in my Veins, when I heard
Gentlemen rriagnify their infamous Gonquefts^ and raife
cruel Trophies on the Ruins of Women's Honour : I had
not Patience to hear the Bravades, nor Power to hinder
'em. What will thefe People blufh at, thought I, who'
proclaim their Infamy, and promulge their Shame ? Cer-
tainly they muft think it a fine thing to bea Monfter, why
elfe do they triumph in Lewdnefs, and fport with De-
bauchery ?

Thefe mighty Vidories are either real or pretended ; if
real, can Fancy frame any thing more difingenuous, more
diabolical, than firft to wheedle a Lady out of her In-
nocence, and then to proflituteher Honour to the wan-
ton Caprice of a Club of Reprobates, who will not fail
to difcover her Shame at the next Rendezvous, and to
multiply their own Crimes by lampooning hers ? Here is
a Brace of Sins, both fmell ftrong of JMalice, both fore-
bode Damnation.

If pretended only, the Crime is yet of a deeper Dye ;
'tis of a more formidable Afpedl:, of a more gigantick
Size: Here is Innocence at the Block, and Guilt com-
mits the Murder.

I know in the next World God will call to a mofl:
Jevere Account thefe Ghriftian Canlbals that welter in
Blood, and^ like famiih'd Wolves, worry their own Spe-
cies. But I would have the Wifdom of the Nation make
fome Provifion againlt luch brutal, fuch inhuman At-
tempts. Why (hall a Highwaymm hang for taking
my Purfe, and a Rake go unpunifh'd, who invades my
Honour? Why (hall a Rape upon a Woman's Body be
revenged with a Halter, and Violence upon her Fame
be rewarded with Applaule? If the Faults be greater,
why are not the Punifhments at lealt equal? Why is
there hot a Reltraint on the Fongue as well as on
the Hands? Is it becaufe it's lefs capable of Dileioline?
F What,

6(> The Gentle A-r AN Injrufied.

What, muft the Greatnefs of the Mifchief be a Plea for
Impunity ? Becaufe \\\\spuMy petuluKt Member commits
more difmal Crimes than our whole Body, mud it en-
joy a more uncontroll'd Liberty ? I would have thefe
Beafts of Prey forc'd out of Savagenefs and Cruelty by
Law and Difcipline ; they (hould be clapt in the Pound,
©r cooled with a hot Iron : Or at lead we fhould keep in
Pay a Brigade of Hunters to ferret our Defamators, and
to clear the Nation of this noxious Vermin, as once we
did of Wolves : But I fear the Diftemper is paft Cure;
thofe who are infeded carry the Contagion to the Grave.
Not one in a thcufand repents.

Nean. Why fo? Is Detraction one of thofe Sins that
are neither pardoned in this Life nor the other? True
Sorrow is a Catholicon, an univerfal Slave for all the
Wounds of Confcience. /

Eujeb. Right, true Repentance has a kind of Omnipo-
tence ; it difarms divine Juftice, and turns God into Mer-
cy, but then it muft be true, real, fincere. Now, do ye
think, thefe Men of Honour, as they are pleas'd to ftile
themfelves, will ever refolve to repair a ruin'd Reputa-
tion at the Expence of their own? Will they fet a dif-
jointed Fame at their own Charge? No, no!

Nean. Can't I re-inftate a Man in the juft Pofleflion of
his Honour, without forfeiting my own? Exprefs your
Mind clearer, I conceive not what you would be at.

Eufc'b. Detraction is a Sin againft Juftice, and therefore
by the Laws of God and Nature the Offender lies under
an indifpenlible Obligation of indemnifying the injur'd
Perfon. Non remittitur peccatum^ donee reflituatur ab-
latum. Now the Detradlor rifles his Neighbour's Ho-
nour, he blafts his Reputation, he muft therefore make
good the Lofs; and as the Tongue is guilty of the Theft,
fo it muft make Satisfaction. For the Wounds of Ho-
nour are only heal'd by the Inftrument that made 'em.
The Crijninal muft acknowledge his Fault, he muft con-
fefs that Paffion run away with his Reafon j that Malice
carried him beyond his Duty, and Truth alfo; that what
he laid to his Neighbour's Charge, was hatch'd in his own
Brain, or taken upon Credit , and if a bare Afleveration
will not do the Work, he muft back his Confellion with
an Oath.

Nean»

7'he Gentleman InJlruBed, 6y

Nean. This is fevere : What, muft a Gentleman give
himlelf the Lye ? Flefh and Blood cannot pradtife fuch
rigorous Morals; the Remedy is worfe than the Difeafe;
and if your Cafuiftry be orthodox, it's eafier for a Camel
to pafs through the Eye of a Needle, than for a Detradlor
to enter into Heaven.

Eiifeb. Under Favour, Neander^ the lead Sin is a
greater Evil than the greateft Infamy ; and I hold it
much more eafy to blufh for an Afperfion, than to burn
for it eternally.

Nea>t. Don't Men charge up to the Cannon's Mouth
to gain Honour, and leave their Bodies in the Breach to
be carried oft" with Applaufe? Nay, do they not often-
times march up to the Out-works of Hell, to maintain
their purchafed Reputation ? Can you therefore think,
that thofe Bravoes, who tremble more at the Shadow of
a Difgrace, than at all the Terrors of Damnation, will
buy Pardon at the Expence of their Honour?

Eufcb. The Queftion, dear Neander, is not what Men
do, nor what Aden will do, but what they fhould do.
Were PratSlice the Standard of Duty, we might reform
the Gofpel as well as the Kalendar ; we might turn thofe
Woes God has pronounced againfb Injuftice, Drunken-
nefs and Whoredom, upon Juftice, Sobriety and Challi-
ty : For it's certain thefe Vertues are invifible in Practice,
and thofe Vices are too too fafliionable. But, Ncander,
though Guftom and Practice may enhance Guilt, they
cannot Men it.

Men are fond of Honour to Madnefs and Frenzy. It's
a mli me tangere ; the leaft Attempt upon this darling
Folly is often revenged with Murder. But then, me-
thinks, the Inclination we have to conferve our own
Fame, fhould infpire fome Tendernefs for that of our
Nsighbour. For have we not Reafon to fuppofe, he is
no lefs acquainted with the Value of this ineftimable
Treafure than our felves, and that he would be as un-
willing to expofe it to the Mercy of petulant Tongues?
Perchance, Meander^ I rate it to the height of its
Worth, yet I give God's Favour the Preference : One
Grain of his Divine Grace out-weighs a Tun of a Heftor's
Reputation. In a Word, I would live an Age under the
Stroaks of the mod picquant Difgrace, I would fheath
in my Breaft all the Darts of Malice, Envy and Poverty,

F 2i either

68 fhs Gentleman Injrtitfed.

either to die Innocent, or repentant ; for all thefe Mife-*
ries are lleeting and tranlitory ; but the Reward ofVer-
tue and the Punifhment of Vice are both eternal. If
therefore your Men of Honour will rather Hand by their
dimes, than recant, I would have 'em train'd up in the
DiiC.pline of Bedlam j a Switch is the belt Remedy a-
gainll Madnel's.

Belides, why is an humble Confeflion a degrading Sa-
tisfacfhion? The Name of a Chriftian is glorious ; how
then can the Duty lie under Reproach ? If the Profeffion
be honourable, the Practice of it cannot be fhameful.
Why then do we tremble at Shadows, and run from
Monllers that take their Deformity from Imagination?

I did not blufli to wound my Neighbour's good Name ;
why fhould I be afhamed to heal it ? Sin (hould be wait-
ed on by Infamy, as it is by Remorfe ; and Repentance
fhould be accompanied by Glory; but by a ftrange Le-
gerdemain the Devil has turn'd the Tables, and tack'd
Shame to this, and Impudence to that : But however.
Repentance is an honeft A6t ; it's worthy of a Man, and
the indifpenfible Duty of a Chriftian; why then fhould
it fear a Witnefs? The Difference between good and ill
Men lies not in the Efteem of Vertue, but in the Pra-
ctice i for both equally value it. But the firlt only pofl'efs
it, becaufe the others will not go to the Charge of pro-
curing it.

Nean. Pray, is not Fear a clownifli Vice ; a Female
Weaknefs ? Does it not fit ungenteelly on Quality ?
Now what can bring a Gentleman to the Bar, and clap
him on his Knees, with a Pray forgive me in his Mouth,
but this mean Palfion ?

Eufeb. You are miilakcn ; Cowardice and Fear are
neither fynonymous in Philofophy, nor Morals : That
is always a Vice, this is often a Vertue. When Prudence
commands Fear, Boldnels is Temerity and Folly : It's
Cowardice to defpond and fmk under a Danger, that
Valour can fubdue ; but it's Rafhnefs to engage with
one above the Strength of human Force. Has then a
Gentleman lefs Courage, becyufe he trembles at the im-
partial Juilice of an enraged Deity ? Becaufe he dares
not wreftle with the Omnipotent, or Hand the fhock of
his Fury ? Becaufe he'll rather repent than die in Obfli-
nacy, and rather return to his Duty, than fufFer eternal-
ly

^he Gentleman Injfru^ed. 6p

ly for tranfgrefling it? Neander, l:t not the wild Noti-
ons of our pretended Gentle-men be your Guides : Their
Principles are as corrupt as their Practice, and their
Reafon is as bad as their Confcience.

Nean. Are you not a Member of the Port-Royal
Club?

Eufeb. Why do you ask this Queftion ?

Nean. I am told they are mighty Patrons de la morale
fevere ; they preach up Rigour to fuch an exorbitant
Height, that one would think God's great Prerogative,
Mercy, was either wore out, or extindt. Your Morals
'have a Flavour of Rigorifm ; they are four, morofe, ill-
natur'd, and call for a Dram of Charity. For look ye.
Sir, Detraftion, as the World goes, s no Phantafm, it's
a very real thing, and keeps good Company : This alone,
pours Life into Converfation ; it quickens Difcourfe ;
■Without it Mirth would languiHi, and good Humour
ileep. I have feen your Seventh-form Wits, as mute,
as if their Mouths were pad lock'd, when any ferious
and innocent Subjcdt came in their Way ; but when
their Neighbour's Condudt was brought before 'em, their
Tongues run before their Conlcience ; they would take
his Life in Pieces, they would rip up his Breaft, diffeft
his Thoughts, and then draw Demonftrations from meer
Conjectures ; they would hand his Reputation about
the Table, till it fell to the Ground, and blow over it,
till it fmell as rank as the Breath that caufeth the Stench,
and difgorged the Infedlion. Notwithftanding thefe Peo-
ple hoped to be faved, without Hooping to the Satisfacti-
on you fpeak of In fhort, every Man endeavours by
Detraction and Out-rage to undermine his Brother's
Fame, and no Man fo much as thinks of repairing it.
Nay, I never heard the Clergy recommend it to dying
Perfons as a Duty j but either as an ACt of Decency,
or of Edification. Can I fuppofc you are better in-
formed of a ftriCt Obligation than the Miniftry ? Or bet-
ter vers'd in Cafuiftry than Divines ? Eujehius, let us
damn no Body.

Eufeb. I remember when ftigmatized Villians with Nar-
ratives and Difcoveries libelled honeft Patriots into
Newgate^ and cut off' their Honours and Lives with Fears
and Jealoufies; when they fowed the Innocent in Bear-
Skins, and then fet all the Beagles of the FaCtion about
F 3 their

70 ^he Gentleman Inftru^ed.

their Ears ; when they profaned Bailies with Perjuries,
and butchered their Fellow-Subjed's Fame at the Bar, to
quarter their Bodies at Tyburn. Thefe Knights of the
Poft flung not up, I fuppofe, their Pretenfions tc Heaven:
Tho' I have not feen any Recantation; yet I am fure,
unlefs God nulls all the Laws of Nature, and calls in the
Gofpel, or illues out under his great Seal an Amnefty,
they'll fall fhort of their Expeftation.

1 confefs, this Difeafe of the Tongue is epidemical ;
the ufe of Speech has fo fwerved from its original Infti-
tution, that it's become an Incumbrance and a Snare to
Mankind. I look upon the Faculty rather as a Penalty
than a Prerogative ; and were we divefted of it, though
we fhould be unfit for Converfation, we might hope to
be more innocent. Now, whether our Calumniators
hope to be faved, is a Queftion. I am apt to believe
their Religion and Confcience are of a Piece, and t?Mt
they confine their Fears, Hopes and Defires within the
Compafs of this World : For certainly, the Dread of eter-
nal Fire might cool their Paffions, and check their Ma-
lice. Were they perfuaded of another World, would
they not fall with more Scruple, and rife with more Vi-
gour ? But if they hope for Salvation without Satisfadi-
on, they build on a deceitful Bottom.

Neander^ Once more let meadvifeyou to be tender of
your Neighbour's Honour. Give Ear to the Voice of
Nature, that commands you to do as youixiould he-done
by : You can't chufe but hear this jiift, this equitable
Admonition, unlefs we Hop our Ears, and caft Reafon
into a mortal Lethargy -, nay, we muft approve the
Counfel, fo that we can neither plead Ignorance nor
Impotence. And certainly, a fick Man deferves rather
Laughter than Pity, that will rather ftruggle with a Dif-
eafe, and groan under the Pangs of a burning Fever,
than apply a Remedy.

Yet after all, I grant a disjointed Reputation is not
cafily fet ; and therefore I befeech you, to avoid a Mif-
chief, that draws after it fuch a difmal Confequence.
If other Men have a mind to be eternally miferable, let
'em have that Satisfaftion ; but he not fo ill advifed,
as to wait on 'em. Should a Man put Fire to his Houfe,
or leap into a boiling Cauldron, the Frolick would fcarce
go round. Yet certainly, thofe that break in upon ano-
ther

T'ke Gentleman Injlru^ed, yi

ther Man's good Name, and never refolve to repair the
Injury, hazard a thing more precious than a Houfe or
Life. Why therefore fhall we refufe to comply in one
Cafe, and not in the other ?

I have made a fliort Survey of Detra6li'6n, and laid be-
fore you a faint Profpefi; of its dangerous Confequences :
But it avails not the Patient to know the Nature of his
Diitemper, unlefs he be told the Remedy. I will there-
fore prefcribea Recipe. Certainly the Phyfician's Method
is applicable to Difeafesof the Soul, no lefs than to thofe
of the Body. We mufl llrike at the Caufe, before we
can hope to mafter the EfFe6l. Now if we trace Detrac-
tion up to its Origin, we fliali find it fpring from Pride
and Envy : For it's a kind of Apofteme that lies at the
Heart, and breaks out at the Mouth.

Though all Sins have a Flavour of Pride, yet Detrac-
tion has a greater Dofe of this bad Humour than ordi-
nary. It's thechief Ingredient of this outragious Crime ;
it difcompofes the Stomach, and then immediately gives
the Heart-burning ; and then the Tongue, which is its
Index, falls into Diforders. A Man fmitten, like young
Narcijfus^ with his own Excellencies, looks down
from the Pinnacle of his foaring Conceit on other Mortals
as Vaflals; he fancies Praifeis an Inheritance entailed on
his Merit ; that either to refpeil or honour another, is
to invade his Property, and to fet againft him an ufurp-
ing. Competitor. Hence he runs in'Queft of a Foil, to
make his own Perfe6lions appear more gaudy, and
fparkle with more Eclat. Now what can give a more
charming Turn to his fuppofed Talent, than his Rival's
Folly ? Hence he rallies up in a Body all the auxiliary
Forces of Anger and Revenge; he takes the Field, and
maraudes upon his Fame ; he difle6ts the poor Creature's
A6lions, and expofes the whole Anatomy of his pri-
vate TranfgreiTions to the View and Cenfure of the Pub-
lick. For he wifely fancies, that the Fabrick of his Va-
nity will Hand unmoveable on the Ruins of a Rival's Re-
putation. Did the Breafts of the proud and haughty-
minded Men lie open to Sight ; could we rifle all the
abftrufe and dark Recefles of their Hearts, what Sallies
of Joy fliould we difcover at the moft innocent Over-
lights of a Competitor ? And then, whoever crows with-
in at the Misfortune, will proclaim it at the firft Occa-
F 4 fion :

71 ^e Gentleman Infru^ed.

lion: For Joy, like Grief, is a ftifling Humour, unlefs
it ihrows off the Oppreflion.

If therefore you defire to fpealc ill of no Body, think
not too well ofyourfelf; fet not too exorbitant a Price
upon your Merits ; remember you are no Phcenix, the
only mdividual of your Species ; thofe Qi^ialities you
poliefs are mere Gratuities, the Effedsof God's Libera-
lity, not of your Deferts ; you had no right to be much
lels to be great, beautiful, or rich. Is it not Madnefs
therefore for you who can lay claim to nothing, to en-
grofs all the Gifts of Nature and Fortune ? Think not,
God has exhaufted his Treafury on you alone ; he fcat-
ters his Favours where he pleafes ; and if he provides
more plentifully for your Neighbour than for you, why
do you complain? Mud you be evil, becaufe God is
good ? Muft you caft a malicious Glance at another, be-
caufe he has received fome Marks of his great Maker's
Kindnefs ? Difcompofe not your Thoughts for other
Peoples Advantages, but enjoy your own with Thank-
fulnefs. Fix juft Bounds to your Defires, as well as to
your Undertakings, otherwife you'll rear up imaginary
Caftles of Greatncfs, to create to your felf a real Tor-
ment.

But if you will contend for an honourable Poft, ma-
nage the Conteft fairly ; pufli on your Pretenlions with
Vertue and Generofity. Let Merit bear away the Prize,
not Outr^.ge, and if your Rival carry off the Advantage,
rather applaud the Conqueft, than revile him. By lef-
fcnmg his Parts or Conduct you burlefque your own ; but
then if you complain, and curfe in a Corner, you only
betray your Impotence, Ill-nature, and Impiety : In
fine, look at your Failings and his through the fame
Glafs, and you'll fee an humbling Speftacle ; you'll be-
hold fo many Objeds worthy of Blame, that you'll have
■no great Stomach to cenfure others.

Envy is the fecond Source of Detra£lion. This is an
ill-natur'd Vice, it loves ill for ill's fake, and takes Plea-
fure in Torment ; it's a kind of Turnkey by Birth, and an
Executioner by Profeffion ; it feeds on Stench, and fucks
Rats-bane from Balms, and Infection from Perfumes; ir
never does a good Turn, but when it defigns an ill one ;
and fddom takes things by the right Handle; Mifchief
makes up its Employment, Plagues and Famines are its

DiverfioHi

The Gentleman InJiruBed, 73

Diverfion, its Smiles are liice blazing Comets, which
cither hatch Treafon, or portend it. What Wonder, if
a Man poffefs'd by this Fiend plays the Devil, who is
furnamed Accufator Fratrum !

But though any Mifchief lies within the Reach of an
envious Man's Wifli, many are removed out of the Verge
of his Power : Some move too high to be (hot at, others
too low ; but neither Place nor Station is a fufficient Fence
againft the Tongue. A Dwarf may engage with a Giant
' at this Weapcn, or a Clown with a Lord. And for this
Reafon, when the envious Man can't come at his Antago-
nift's Perfon, he fets upon his good Name, and falls foul
upon his Honour ; and when by the help of keen Satyr
and falfe Glofles, he has beat down the Out-works that
fenc'd his Fortune from Infult and Ruin, he draws his
Cannon nearer, and raifes Batteries againft his Grandeur
and Eftate that fupport it : For he knows that the beft
built Fortune can't be ftable, when Reputation, that
propt it, is removed. Thus we fee Socrates kept his
Ground, and even triumphed over the Calumnies of his
Accufers, whilft his Reputation interpofed. But when
a buffooning Comedian droU'd him into Contempt, he
appear'd no lefs guilty before the Judges, than defpica-
ble on the Stage. So that in Conclulion, Envy found
him guilty, and theSenatepronounced the Sentence.

Methinks it's fuperfluous to dilluade a Man from this
Vice. Intereft is more powerful than Reafon. We dote
on Pleafure, and run from Pain by the Inftinft of Nature.
Who will not rather chufe aPrifonwith Satisfaftion, than
a Palace with Torment ? But an envious Man, inftead
of following the Current of Nature, bears up againft it.
He labours for labour's fake, and drudges for the meer
Expectation of Mifery. He leads the Life of Cain, haunt-
ed with the Spedres of his own Crimes from within,
and with a thoufand Jealoufies from abroad ; other Peo-
ples Happinefs creates his Torments ; their Profperity
gnaws his Entrails, and his Impotence, to over-caft the
Sun-{hine of their Fortune, claps him on the Wheel.
Now a Man that can fall in Love with Pain, and court
Difquiet, muft not be caft in the fame Mould that o-
ther Mortals are : And therefore I fhould think it as
eafy to difluade People from Envy, as from' vaulting
down a Precipice.

But

74. ^f^^ Gentleman InflniBed.

But befides, a Man that envies others, is always paid
in the fame Coin ; his Honour will be as roughly handled j
when one contefls with Multitudes, he Hands on the low-
er Ground, and fights at a Difadvantage. This is the
envious Man's Cafe. For he can't but know the difinge-
nuous Defcants on other's Aitions will reach the Ears of
the o'fended Perlons. Defaming Reports have a mira-
culous Sympathy with thofe that Diftance of Place is not
able to dead the Echo ; they rebound from Tongue to
Tongue, are toiled from Hand to Hand, till they come
to the Knowledge of the injured ; and generally, like
Snow-Bdlls, they encreafe in the Journey. What a gra-
ting Nolle then will they make in the Ears of the defa-
med Perfon I Will not he think of Reprifals ? Will he
not treat your Honour with as little Regard as you have
his? And God fend fuch an eafy Satisfadlion may af-
fwage his Refentment. When Men lit Judges in their
own Caufe, they make the Bills of Lofles and Damages
rife high ; who knows but they may demand Blood,
and facrifice your Life to the Manes of their murder'd
Reputation ?

In fine, Neander^ remember you muft die. When Death
hath fealed your Eyes, you'll find all the Darts of the
Tongue, fhot at your Neighbour, ftick in your own Soul ;
you'll feel the Smart, but will find no Lenitive, no Cure :
Why then {hall we run headlong into thofe Crimes we
muft either deplore here, or burn" for hereafter ? Let us
look before us, and not, like Beafts, follow the meer Im-
preffions of Paffion. Let us fhew we are Men, not by
our Vices, but by our Vertues. To have Reafon, and
to a6l againft it, is to debafe our Species.

IV.

As God has fenced our Neighbour's Fame, fo he has
been careful to guard his Poflelfions againft all the At-
tempts of Avarice and Injuftice. Non furaberis, fays he
in the Decalogue, Thou Jh alt not Jleal ; and then he threa-
tens the Criminal with the Sentence of his high Difplea-
fure, unlefs he cancels the TranfgrelTion with a fincere
Repentance. I apprehend, Neander, fome Gentlemen
miftake this Command : They fancy it reaches only Pads,
Cut-purfes or Highwaymen : But this is a Miftake ; it
takes in all who ad againft the Laws of Juftice j and for

this

-7%ff Gentleman InJiruBed. 75

this Reafon, I fear, that many who hang at Tyburn, are
often lefs criminal, than fomeofthofe whoftand Spe6ta-
tors of the Tragedy, or perchance who fat on the Bench.
For in all Kingdoms, Laws are, as Solon faid, like Cob-
webs, that hamper fmall Flies whilll the greater break
through 'em. Poor People bear the Punifhment of In-
juftice, and great ones carry off in Triumph both Plea-
fure and Profit. Thefe are too big for Execution, though
not for Guilt. They can fue for an indigent Neighbour's
Field, becaufe it lies conveniently, and perfuade the Judges
they have more Right, becaufe they have more Money
and Credit. The Luftreof Gold often dazzles Lawyers
out of Confcience, and juft Pofl'eflbrs out of Lordfhips.
Right ebbs and flows by the fecret Influence of Guineas.
For let me tell you, Neander, the Juftice of a Caufe
fprouts up, and thrives miraculoufly under a Fee.

But though thefe Men carry the Suit in the Eyes of the
World, they lofe it at God's high Court of Juftice, and
their Souls alfo ; nor is there any Difference between
thefe Over-reachers and Cut-purfes; but that they are
ten times more criminal. Among the Lacedemonians, a
clear Theft pafs'd for a Vertue. Are not fome Chriftians
of the fame Perfuafion ? But for all that, though a Spar-
tan Jury might poffibly find 'em not guilty, they'd find no
fuch Indulgence in the Vale of 'Jehojhaphat.

I never yet underftood, how Solicitations, and Recom-
mendations of Caufes to the Judges, how double and tri-
ple Fees could be well reconciled with this Law, Thou
pah not (leal : For either you doubt of the Integrity of
the Bench, or you do not. If the firft, you caft a Scan-
dal on the Face of the Government; you arraign either
the Capacity or the Integrity of the Prince ; /. c. you
fufped he wants Judgment in the Choice of Magiftrates,
or has advanced on purpofe thofe who would betray the
iProperty of the Subjeft. Now fuch an Innuendo is dif-
refpe6fu], rafli, and highly unchriftian.

But befides, if really you doubt of the Judge's Integri-
ty, your Condudl is foolifh. For if a Judge will fell a
favourable Sentence to the Plaintiff, he'll be no lefs kind
to the Defendant, if he out-bids him. A Manthenfhould
be firft fure of Succefs, before he parts with his Money,
otherwife he will be gulled out of his Pretenfions, and
pay for his Difappointment,

Again,

7^ ^he Gentleman InJiruBed,

Again, this Pradtice runs quite counter to all the Di-
lates of Confcience and Jultice. For if Gain and Inte-
reft be a Magiftrate's weak fide, if I know he meafures
Right by the Weight of Silver, and barters Law for Mo-
ney, can I pamper his Inclination, or feed h"s corrupt
Appetite; or ftrike in with his linful Diftemper ? No
more, certainly, than I can with a fafe Confcience pufli
him down a Precipice; for if it be a Sin to permit one,
when I can hinder it, is it not a Sin to perfuade a Crime ;
nay, to buy onei*

If the fecond ; /. e. If you fuppofe your Bufinefs lies
in the Hands of upright Men, that fquare their Verdidls
by the Laws, not by Partiality and Favour, why are you
eternally upon the Hoof? Why do you tire them and
your felf too with tedious Applications? Why do you
drain your Pockets to enrich Pettifoggers and Attorniei ?
This Trouble is fuperfluous, and the Expence unneedful.
In a Word, Sir, the ConduS is either unprofitable or
unjuft.

But if you doubt in your Caufe, let it fall, at leaft pufli
it on no further with your Credit or Purfe ; for all you
can expedl, is to gain a Suit, and lofe your Soul.

Nean. If I can juggle a Neighbour out of an Eftate by
Quirks of Law, and by a genteel Turn of the Hand,
bubble him out of a confiderable Sum, may I not put
him to graze upon the Common, without any Obliga-
tion to reftore ?

Eufeb. The very Queftion is a Scandal, not only to
Chriftianity, but to human Nature; you are obliged not
only to return the Capital, but to indemnify him for all
the Lofles confequenl thereto.

Nean. Nay, Sir, I am of your Opinion ; for why
fhould a Man gain by his Crimes ? Yet once I fell into
the Company of a Man of Parts, of Character and Re-
pute in his Country, who thought otherwife of the Mat-
ter: We difcour.'d the Point, yet I could never get him
over to my Opinion : He held fo fail to Non-reftitution,
that there was no-moving him. A hearty Repentance,
faid he, without Reititution, makes a fufficient A-
tonement for the Or^ence. He told me I was unskill'd
in Cafuiftry. I confefs'd I had read no Cafuift but the
Bible and Nature.

Eufeb.

'The Gentleman Infru^ed. yy

Eufeb. With Submiflion to the Gentleman's Charader,
Parts and Station ; he was either a great Fool, or a fuper-
lative Knave, fit for Bedlam or Newgate, Was he not
a Lawyer ?

Nea», He had ftudied in the Inns of Court.

Eufeb. I thought fo. It's a heaHng Dodtrine for a
wounded Confcience, a palatable and eafy Remedy, a
Catholicon for all the Aches of the Mind, and the Gripes
of an over-charg'd Stoirach ; and perchance the Ufe is
univerfal, otherways once at leaft in a Twelvemonth we
might fee a Dives transform'd into a Lazarus^ a Lord into
a Laquey, and a Lady into a Chamber-maid ; we might
fee thofe who fit mcjellically in Coaches with a long
Wig, and a Snuff- Box alamode, fit behind 'em. Good
God ! how many gawdy Birds would make as naked a Fi-
gure as the Daw in the Fable, if their Peacock Plumes
were return'd to their Owners? Neander^ pray tell that
Gentleman I am neither fatislied with his Conlcience nor
his Skill J he that will not reftore Itolen Goods, is more
criminal than he that conceals 'em; and he that will keep
an ill-purchafed Eltate in Spight of Juftice, will feize on
the next that lies in his way ; and then how can he un-
derltand Couk ?nd Littleton, v;ho can't read the very Al-
phabet of Nature? A hearty Repentance without Reili-
tution is a Dream.

De9,r Neaftder, never raife the Pile of a great Fortune
on a Bottom of Fr^*ud and Injuflice; it's an unliable
Foundation, and unable to bear the monllrous Weight of
Crimes, they crufli in a Moment the beft built Stru^^ture,
and entomb the Criminal, together wiih all his Grandeur,
under the R.uins of his towring Babel. The Triumphs of
unjuft Men are always fliort-lived. God takes Pleafure
in ftrangling em in the very Cradle ; they pafslike Light-
ning, and leave nothing behind but Smoak and Vapour;
Their Fall is no lefe amazing than their Rile ; they pais
oft' like Phanralms, or elfe hve in Penury and Contasmpt,
or die like Reprobates ; they c:'rry the moll legible Marks
of God's Malediction ftampt on their Foreheads, and
tear almofl all Men without being pitied by any ; fo that
Divine Vengeance begins their Torments in this World,
' to continue 'em eternally in the other.

rU not follow this crying Vice thro' its Branches, nor
make an entire Dilledtion of all its Parts ; it runs through

all

jr8 'fhe Gentleman InftruBed.

all the Veins of Commerce, and almoll Converfation ;
it's found in Play, as well as in Contradts, and is no
more innocent under one Shape, than under another;
you may call it Over-reaching or Out-witting, if you
pleafe, but the change of Names makes no Alteration of
the Thing : Nature depends not on Fancy or Caprice,
•they are the fame in fpight of Cuftom and Difguife.

V.

I muft now caution you againft Lewdnefs. It's a noi-
fome Employment to grope in Puddles, and to dig in
Muck. And therefore I'll only flcim the Surface, and let
the ofFenfive Dregs lie at the Bottom. You know God
has enafted this Law in the Decalogue, Thou palt not
commit Adultery: This Precept does not only reftrain
Adts of Lewdnefs, but even Thoughts and Delires : For
Impurity in Idea draws after it a real Hell ; the Smoak
that vanifhes in a Moment, kindles an eternal Fire.

Nean. I fuppofe neither Gentlemen of the Court, nor
Officers of the Army, come within the Compafs of this
Prohibition. God furely and Nature have illued out in
their Favour a Patent of Exemption.

Eufeb. Truly, Neander, I never read that either God
or Nature had fuch a Deference for the Court and Ar-
my, or fo great a Refpedt for Quality. Why, Man, let
our Courtiers be as great as Alexander^ and our Soldiers
as valiant ; there fits a more auguft, and a more power-
ful Mailer above, whofe Comm.ands they muft obey, or
fmart for the Tranfgrellion. The Sword has no Privi-
lege above the Plow, nor has Quality any Right above
Peafantry, but iogxt^icxl^oxmtnls: Pttentcs patenter tor^
menta fatientur.

Nean. If it be fo, our Gentlemen and Soldiers are all
llruck with a Lunacy. They feem to have entred into
an Aflbciation againft Divine Authority, and endeavour
by Practice to repeal the Statute; as if God's Laws
could ceafe per defuetudinemy as well as human. When
St. P^«/ bids every Man take uxorem^ if he meant a Mifs,
the Counfel is followed even to a Scruple ; but if he
did not, our Gonduft is fcandalous to Impudence, and
God's Authority is flighted beyond Contempt and .Info-
lence.

Eufeb.

The Gentleman Injiru^fed, y^

, Eufgb. The Evil lies deep, and the Difeafe reaches to
the Land's End ; few are clear of the Infedtion ; Lewd-
nefs is no more a Diverlion ; no, it's become the grand
Bufinefs, the Employment of Mankind ; nay, it's impro-
ved to Science alio ; Love- Intrigues turn on Method, and
are carried on by Demonftration: So that Attempts upon
Chaftity come oft" generally with Succefs. For Women,
in our Age, are as ill furniih'd for Refiftance, as an old
Spanijh Town for a Siege. But then the Dons, when
foic'd to furrender, article for their Honour: This
they'll bring off, though the Town ftay behind in the
Hands of the Conquerors. But our Female Defendants
Hand not upon fuch Niceties : They deliver up their Mo-
defty, and go oiF with Ignominy : Gonfufion I will not
fay ; for Blulhes are out of Fafhion, unlefs when it's a
Queftion to pradlife the Chrillian Vertues of Sobriety,
Temperance and Chaftity.

I have more than once taken a Survey of our Gentry,
and I find nine in ten ruin'd by this unlucky Vice ; to all
Intents and Purpofes, they have forfeited their Honour,
mortgaged their Eftates, impaired their Health, their Bo-
dies fall under the Weight of Lewdnefs, their Purfes are
fcarce able to lupport it. So that if thefe young Sparks
would take the Pains to caft up their Accounts, they
would find their Pleafure have brought them in no o-
ther Profit but Poverty, Difeafes, and more than one
Caufe of Repentance. Good God ! Why muft Appetite
have fuch a ftrange Afcendant over P^eafon ? Why muft
Man thus tranfgrefs the End of Creation ? Appetite was
made to obey, Reafon to command. To change their
Office is to throw down the Enclofure between Man and
Beaft. Is it not a Madnefs to fell this Prerogative for a
petty Satisfa61:ion';*that like the Book of the Apocalypfes^
leave a fweet Flavour in the Mouth, and Bitternefs in
the Heart ? But fuppofe a Man will enjoy Pleafure, is
nothing palatable but Dirt and Mire ? Muft he turn
Goat or Baboon before he can be pleafed ? Certainly he
is enamour'd of their Nature, he dotes lb much on their
Paftimes ; and I am apt to believe he would range on
their Hills, or fport on their Trees among a Herd of
Females.

But take all together, I fear the Pleafure does not
come up to Expefcation. The Gall out-weighs the Honey.

For

8o ^he Gentleman Inprti^ed,

For let us fuppofe a Man poflefs'd by the unclean De-
vil of brutifh Love, he lodges all the Torments of the
Damned in his Heart, and, what is worfe, their Guilt ;
he fhiversand burns, he hopes and defpairs, he dreams in
Company, and talks in Solitude; all the Features of his
beloved Objedl meet in his Imagination to wound his
Heart, and turn the Idol he adores into a Devil to lafh
him; his Fears keep pace with his Fondnefs, and Jea-
loufy treads on the Heels of both, and all confpire to
make him wretched. For though Love looks pleafing
and pretty in Romance, in Life it's Monfter, Tyrant and
Fury.

A Lover knows, that a Woman, who has withdrawn
her Fidelity from God, will forfake a Gallant at the leaft
Profpe6t of Advantage. Hence Difquiet feizes on the
Brain, and Jealoufy rifes from Hell, to clap him on the
Torture; like the Devil in the Gofpel, it foraetimes
flings him into the Water, fometimes into the Fire ; he
watches his Treafure with the Eyes of an Argus, and
lays an hundred Ambufcades to find his Mifery, and her
Infidelity; fo that, though Mifs be faithful, Monfieuris
fure to be miferable.

1 fay nothing here of Averfion, Hatred, Envy, and a
thoufand other V ipers that worry his Heart, and prey
upon his Vitals. In fhort, in a befotted Lover alone are
centred all the Frenzies and Follies of Bedlam^ but that
of Mirth. So that Envy can fcarce wifh him more un-
happy, nor Malice render him more unfortunate: But if
the Intrigue be carried with a Perfon of an unfpotted Re-
putation, and who Hands fair in the Opinion of the World,
nay, and who perchance fets up for Lucretia and Ve-
Jlal; what Endeavours are made to court incognito, and
to play out of Sight ? But if after all, the Sin quickens
in her Womb, and that within nine Months Ihe be in
Danger to fall into Fits of the Mother ; what Pangs, what
Throws, what Convulfions tear this poor Creature's
Breaft, and her Gallants too? In how lively Shapes does
Imagination paint her Folly I She fuffers all the Torments
of Child-birth at the very inftant of Conception ; befides
thofe of Rage, of Defpair and Confufion ; and in the
end perchance refolves to conceal one Sin by the help of
another; *. e. Lewdnefs by Murder; and thus a poor
Innocent, who came into the World by alefs Sin, is fent

out

ftheG ENTLEMAN JnJiruBel % i

out of it by a greater ; and then in all Probability the
Tragedy that begun at Midnight in Darkneis and Priva-
cy, often ends at Mid-day on a'Scaifold. _Muft not there-
fore one be void of Reafon to take a petty Pleafure in
Hand, with fuch a Crowd of Troubles in Reverfion?
Ought we not to fence againft a Vice, fo charming oa
the one Hand, and fo uneafy on the other ?

Nean. What are the belt Prefervatives againft this epi-
demical Diftemper?

Eufeb. Take this as a Principle, that Chaftity is a
Gift of God ; and therefore implore continually his Di-
vine Afliftance ; rely on his Grace, not on your Force ;
and if you be fo happy as not to fall, give him the Glo-
ry of the Triumph, and believe that whofoever prefumes
on his ov/n Valour, has already meafured half the Pre-
cipice: God protects the Humble, and humbles the
Proud.

Secondly^ Keep Love at a Diftance, or it will furprize
you ; when once it has uormed the Heart, it forces Rea-
fon to fu. Tender; and when Appetite commands, v.hen
Paflion domineers, what can be expected but Brutality ?
Lock up the Gates of your Senfes, and, as in Frontier-
Towns, examine the PuTengers. Love, XikQ-^ Proteus^
borrows all Shapes, and n>akes its Approaches at all Sea-
fons ; fo that you muft ftand upon your Guard, if you
intend to avoid a Surprize; and if you can keep this
Traitor at Arms-length, Lewdnefs will neither Jiave the
Face, nor find 'the Opportunity to afiail you. But if you
admit this Tyrant, if you lodge him in your Ereaft, you
will have Caufe to deplore your Slavery, and perchance
eternally. For in a Word, Love, like a Viper, cats in-
to the Heari that warms it, and returns Dca:h for the
Favour.

T'hirdly^ Flight is the befl Defence,the moft fecureRam-
partaguinfl the Darts of Lafcivioumefs ; you may as well
hope to free/.e in Fire, as to converfe innocently in ths
midit of Occafions. I am of TcrtulUanh Opinion, that
it is eafier to die for ChalUry, as tlicWorld goes, than to
live with it in Balls, Vijits and Entertainments. And I
Iookujx>n it as a, certain Truth, that many of the Sex,
who have furrender'd their Honour to the Flatteries, Im-
portuniiics and Dalliances of Gallants, would have re-
fufcd it to the Cruelty of Hangmen.

Q ■ Enter

Enter not therefore into the Play-houle ; it's the Palace-
of ^ijWiod.nits, the Seat of Levvdnels, the Nurfery of De-
bauchery. It's with us ?s ForMtces were at liome^ only
w i'-h this Difference, that thole Crimes are learn'd, con-
trivM, and refolv'd on here, the Romam adlually commit-
ted them under the black Shade of thofe infernal Vaults.
For my part I am of Opinion, that a Chriftian cannot with
a fafcr Confcience enter into the Play-houfe, than into a
Brotliel ; as things are managed there, Temptation 13
ftroDger on the Stage, and more inviting. The Blacknefs
of the Vice lies under a Difguifc ; it's blanch'dover with all
the Art of Vv it and Gawdry j fo that nothing appears but
the charming Part, which fafcinates the Eyes, captivates
the Ears, dozes the Intelleil, and fires the Paflions, and
then to phiin the Way for Adtion, the Poet burlefqlies the
Terrors of the other Vv^orld; he paints the Devils rather
like Scaramouches to divert, than like Executioners to
torment: He blafphemes the Majefty of God to bring him
under Contempt, and fo blunts all the Darts of Fear and
Apprehenfionj and then, when Objcfts draw, when Paf-
fions Aand prepared, and Rellraint is removed, what can
be reafonably expeftcd, but Prollitution?

But befidcs", the Stage not only removes Fear of Punlfii-
ment, but even rewards Di?bauchery; for who are they
that carry ofFApplaufe and Fortunes, but Rakes and Pro-
ftitutes? The Poet puts all his Wit in the Mouths of
Rooks and Bullies ; and if an hoiieft Man appear, he is
fure to be hooted^ at, and generally goes off both Fool and
Cuckold. Is not this to condemn Vertue, to execute it
in Effigy,- aiid to canonize V^ice by Deputy ? Is not this
to fay, Gentlemen and Ladies, beware of Chaftity and
Verixie, they are out of Date in our Age; you'll forfeit
your Honour by maintaining it, and grow ridiculous, if
you continue innocent. The fhorteft Way to Repute, is
to drive over Confcience, to blufh at Honefty, and
praftife Incontinence. What Vertue is Proof againft
fuch murdering Engines ? If Hell be a Place of Diverlion,
as the Poets endeavour to perfuade the Audience, if God
be a Scare-crow, if Chaftity be infamous, and Impuri-
ty creditable, who will not rather be lewd wdth Credit,
than chafte with Pvcproach ? I would have both Poets
and Players enter a little into themfelves ; they have all
contril^uted to run down Vertue and Religion, and to

bring.

The Gentleman Infiru^kd, %'^

ling Libertinifm and Atheifm into Fafhion, Thofc prc-
iiiire the Poifon^ thele prclent the l\ition, dafli'd v/iih iill
the palatable ln;^,redient3 of Pomp and Mr.gciijicence, th.it
it may [fo down with Pleaftire, and work with Efficacy.
1 am afraid in the next World th.cy'il be forc'd to anlvycr
for tljc .Sins of ihe> Poet and Aclois, as v\ell as for ihofe
of tlie Chriftinn, unkii; hy a timely Repentance, and pub-
lick Recantation, they able Pardon of God,andForgive-
nefs of the Nation, winch they have rhimed aimoil out
of Religion, and played out of Confcience.

Fuurthly^ Whciil emptation invites, draw up all the
dlfmal Confcquencesof this wretched Sin, and iix your
Thoughts upon 'em. Other Crimes, like ihc Adder, car-
ry their Poifon in their Head; this is a Scorpion that licks
up ita Venom in its Tail. For though the Sin be charm-
ing, its Sequels are dreadful. The Infe(^lion flies up to
the Rrain, like the Sting of the 7ar««^«/tf; andtho'thofe
who are bit by this poifonous Infedt, can dance out the
ftupifying Humour, and may be fiddled into their Wits^
the others are pall Cure ; they remain in Spight of Ho-
mily and Exhortation, fiupid, brutal, without Judgment,
without Honour, without Senfe, and oftentimes without
Money ; but never without Folly, Sighs, Jealoufies,
Rage and Delpair.

Fifthly^ That your Afteftions may jiot ileal abroad, nor
like Butter-flies, flutter from one Obje6l to another, chain
'em by lawful Wedlock to a Wife. I know at prcfcnt,
Aiatrimony, that in St. P^/7//'s Days was honourable, lies
tmder no creditable Circumftances; and we are in part '
obliged to the Stage- Poet>; for the Afpcrflon. Tliey reprc-
fent this Divine Inllitution under all the Repro.iches of
Slavery and Folly, and paint both Sexes fo fcai dalouJly
lafcivious, thnt ilie Character is enough to deter Chrifci-
ans from the Engagement. Ifuppole thefe Gentlemen are
fee'dby the Stews, to Itand up for the Improvement of
their IVadc; and for, this reafon they labour fo heartily,
to perfuade People, lawful Fleafures tade flat and iniipid,
as if the only charming Circumdnnce of Plealure were
the Unla wlulneib of the Attii )n. This Dcdlrine is ailca-
lated exadlly for the Practice of Lucifer and his AlToci-
ates, but not for Chriilians ; it fmells of Snioa!:, and
may in good time heat the Preachers.

G i Bsvrare

84 'The Gentleman injiruBed^

Beware of Jealoufy. A Wife is often made faithful
by not fiifpedting her of Infidelity, but when without
Reafon, you qucflion herLoyjuty, you only tempt her
to betray it. I have heard of a Lady, that kept her Con-
jugal Vow, whilft her Husband thought (lie did ; but when
he accufed her falHy, and blalled her Reputation, flie mur-
dered her Innocence to revenge the Injury. Some Wo-
men are -of Opinion, there is little Difference between
being unchafte, and being thought foj and therefore go
oft with the Sarisfaftion of Infidelity, as well as with the
Infamy. A thoufand, thoufand limes happy is that Cou-
ple, that by a wife Forcfight prevents thofe Misfortunes,,
thatfpring from Diverlily of Ccnftitutions and Hu-
mours, or at leafb fupport vv^ith Patience what Prudence
ean't avert, and fo improve Neceflity into a Vertue.

VI.

If God has blefs'd you with Children, fays the Scrip-'
ture, Prov. vii. inftrudl 'em. God has engrav'd thi&
Law in the very Heart of Nature, and more than once
promulg'd it in the Bible, that Parents might be well con-
vinc'd of this grand Duty, and be perfuaded to comply
with it ; and yet it feems, that no Law is lefsunderftood,
and more univerfiilly negledted in Practice than this.
Some Parents, more cruel than the ORrich, bring pooi:
Creatures into the World, and then abandon 'era. O-
thers, like Apes, are fo fond of their Brood, they kill
'em with Kindnefs : Thofe are guilty of Neghgcnce,.
thefe of Indulgence j and all betray their Duty, and by'
confequence their Confcience.

I have been often fcandaliz'd at the infupportableNeg-
left of fome Parents ; they made no Difference between
their Lackeys and their Children, but that they carefs'd
thofe, and eternally tormented thefe ; they herded with
the Grooms and Carters, and owed all their Education
to the Stable and Kitchen ; and if they fent 'em fome-
times to School, 'twas only to rid the Houfe, not for their
Inftrudion. They never took the Pains to inform them-
felves, whether the Mailer was black or white; whe-
ther religious or impious ; a Ttrk or a Chrillian. Good
God ! faid I to Sir N. N. what do you mean ? You will
not hire a Cook without examining his Talent, nor take a
Groom without good Security of his Skill j yet the one

i^

The Gentleman Jnftni^ed. Sj

iS only to ferve the Belly, the other to curry Horfes, and
M'ill you trull a Child to the Care of a Man, who for
ought you know, has neither Science nor Religion?

Nor have I beheld with Patience the doating Fondnefs
of others. I have feen my young Mailer often play the
Lion in theP^amily, and my tender Lady, the Mother,
applauded hislnfolence, like the Romam in Se^ecdiTj^)^^.
Slie would embrace the Spai k, when The fl:!ouId have chid
■ him j r.ay, and kifs him for thofe very things fiie flionld
have whipthim. To crofs the Child, is to iiab the Mo-
ther ; and if he Whiinners, fhe cries in good Earneft ; his
Paffions grow upon him with Age, and a foolifli Indul-
gence emboldens 'em ; he asks what he pleafes, and ob-
tains what he demands; a Refufal iti^ him on fire, and
then my young 'Jupiter begins to thunder: My Lady
trembles at the I'emped flie has raifed ; and inftead of
laying it by a fober Correction, Cht foolifhly augments it
by a thouCand Carelics; He is coach'd to Company, to
Balls, and the Play-Houfe, and mud be Spedator of
Mamma's Vanity and Follies to learn 'em. Poor Sir T.H.
faw this fine Menage, but was too dotingly fond of his
Wife to fave his Child. Pie complain'd one Day to me,
that his Son was fit for nothing, but either to dance or to
quarrel. You are millaken, lliid I, have a litUe Pati-
ence, and he'll retaliate his Breeding upon you, with In-
folence and Outrage ; he is as handfomely equipt for a
Rake, as can be ; nor was I deceived, for fince that he
flung himfelf away upon a Chamber-maid, dipt his E-
llate, perfecuted his Mother, ^nd brought his Father wit|i
Grief and Chagrin to his Grave.

You mull know, Neander^ that Man by Nature is
half Beaft; he has all the Inclinations, all the Paffions
of the moll falvage Animal ; and, what is worfe, he has
Reafon to Iharpen 'em, and Malice to abufe 'em But
as the moll fierce Lion is tam'd and render'd tractable
by Education and Difcipline, fo Man may be taught
Sweetnefs, Moderation and Vertuc, if he be taken in
Hand betimes, if his Paffions are check'd, and forc'd to
obey the Commands of Reafon, from the Cradle. But
when once Senfe has got the upper Hand, when Paffio'i
has tailed the Sweetnefs of Superiority, and Pveafon •
accullomed to Slavery, you may as foon fubdue i:
Fiercenefs of a full grown Tyger, as perfuade Seiife a.".'
G 3 App*:-

^6 . ^he Gentleman hifirufkd.

Appetite to relign theufurp'd Government, orReafon to
take it, /idolcfceMs juxta vitam fuam^^ cumfc-^nerit nujt
recedet ab ea : A young Man goes on as he began, and
carries the firft InipreiTion to the Grave. That you may
rot iheretbre cry one Day with the poor Eagle in the Fa-
ble, who being mortally woundea by an Arrow trimmed
with her own Featiiers, fighcd out this melancholy Com-
plaint, Miferable Bird that I nm ! If^hat afool was I to
bring forth Feathers to my oxvn Dcftruciion I I lay, that
you may not complain, thoCe Children you gave Life to,
are tlie Caufe of yourDeaih, obfervc three things, tirji^
So foon as they are capable to know God, te;ith 'cm to
fear his Jufticc, and to lovchis Goodnels; inllrucl thcni
in Religion, and take Care they prartife all the Duties of
a Chriftian. A Child that fears God, will, love his Pa-
rents ; he can't be religious without being dutiful. Incul-
cate a thoufand times, that he is made for Heaven, and
that he mufl live vertuoufly in this World, to be happy
in the next: Precaution him againft the Vanity of tile
World, and all its fpecious Scenes of Deceits and Pa-
geantry, that delude the Eye to feduce the Heart: Difco-
ver the Danger before you expofe him, and '^.ell him with
that admirable Qiicen Blanca, you had rather fee him in
the Grave, tlianin Sin : Infpire not into his tender Breait
Dciires of Grandeur ; this is a Seed that fprouts up without
fowing: Choak all tendency of fo early a Pride, or elfe
it will grow to his Ruin. I blufli at tliC unchtiftian Con-
du6t of thofe Pfirents, who teach little Creatures, before
^hey can: walk, to climb up to the very Pinnacle of Ho-
nour; who would make 'em Pages to Anti-Chrift to
be great, and would counfel 'em to be JMakometans for
the vain Satisfadion of leeing 'em Balla's: VVlien you
have furnifti'd *em with Vertue, and provided for their
Soul, let 'em think of a Settlement, and aim rather at
a Polt that isgente'el, than great : An elevated Foitune
is feldorn obtained without- vaft Crimes, and always fup-
ported b.y greater.

; Sefoniily^ Olsltivate them with thofe Arts and Sciences
that fuit wilh their Capacity and Condition. For thofe
that have nothing to do, do always more than they
ought ; and though they are unfit for a handfoine Occu-^
pation, they are capable of a vicious onc-

ThirMy,

I'he Gent L.E MAN Injiru^ed. S 7

'Thirdly^ Give not all your Means to the Eldeft ; leave
a Provifion for all : A young Cjentlem^in th:\t begins the
World w^ithout Money, ends it -without Confcience:
When I muft r.ick my Brain to live, I have neither time
norleilure to think of living; well. Neqellity is the Mo-
tlier of Vice, no lefs than Abundance ; and Want is both
more trouhlefomctiian AlHuence, and equally dangeious:
Beiides, how will you have a Gentleman puPa forward,
who has nothing to improve? (.>an he raife a. Fortune
without Tools to work with, without a Fund to lay the
Foundation ? Poverty palls the moft generous Spirits ; it
cows Indultry, and calls Rcfolution itielf into Defpair.
When you have acquitted yourfelf ot'thefe three Points,
you have done the part of a Father ; the relt you mult
leave to Providence, who watches over its Creatures, and
never abandons thofe, who comply with their Duly.

VII.
Your Care muft not ftop at your Children, let it reach
your menial Servants ; though you are their Mailer,
you are alfo their Father. And'for this Reafon the Ro-
mans cail'd Houfe-kcepers P aires FamHias^ Fathers of the
Houfe-hold. Belidcs, as a Chtiftianyou are their Brother,
and have the Church of Chriit for your common Mother ;
all thefe Relations deferve a Tendernefs on the one fide,
and on the other impofe an Obligation on you to enquire
into their Behaviour, and to provide for their Inftrudion ;
don't fo overcharge 'cm with Labour, that they can find
no time for God. You can't exa6t fo continual a Ser-
vice, nor is it in their Power to comply with you. They •
owe mote Obedi'nice to God 'than to you; and you
tranfgrefs your Duty, when your Commands crofs
upon his. Nor is it fufficient to allow 'em time to look
into the Concerns of their Souls, you muft fee they em-
ploy it well : Let 'em meet at Prayers .nleaft once a Day,
and punifli thofe that negledt this Duty. Suffer not in
your Houfe a Debauchee, though never fo ufeful. Who
is a Traitor to his A/[aker, will betray a Mafter at the
firft Occafion. A Man without Confcience is always
without Honefty. Befides, Lewdnefs and Knavery are
catching, and one infeded Perfon fuffices to Vcatr
ter the Contagion. Take this for a Principle. The
more you take to Heart God's Intereft, the more ' ., :'

G 4 lU:.-.

S8 'fhe Gentleman InflrtUfed.

take care of yours ; he'll crov/n your Enterprizes with
Succef?, or raife your Soul above the Siroak of A-lisfor-
tune. In fine, you'll either enjoy Profperity with a Chri-
llian Moderation, or bear Adverfity with Pleafiare.

VIII.

Confine not Chanty within the Walls of your own
Houfe, nor employ it wholly about the fpiritual Good
of your Neighbour ; Jet the Body feel the Effeds of his
Tendernefs, as n'ell as thcSoul. When he groans under
the Pangs of Poverty, ai^i ftruggles with Neceflity, re-
lieve his Indigence out of your own Store- Houfe; let
the Meafure of your Charity be the Extent of your Abi-
lity ; and ot his Want : What you lay out on the Poor,
is not fpent, but put to Intereft ; God is Security for the
Reimburfement, fo that the Payment is infallible. I
have feen fome Gentlemen open-handed enough, but
jhen they difperfed their Charities with fo unhandfome a
Grace, that, methought, they did 111, in doing Good, and
refufed an Alms v.'hillt thev gave one ; they feeraed to
infulr over a poor Creature's Mifery, and feldom open'd
their Purfe, till they had vented their GalL This is not
to relieve the Indigent, but to throw Shame upon Want,
and Confuiion upon Neceffity ; it's to hang Weight to
their Burthen, and to fret Poverty with Contempt: Be-
f\6es^ it lofes the very Nature of Almsj for that is not
received gratis^ that is purchafed v/ith Bluflies, and at
the Expence of Patience. ' A companionate Look often-
times refrcfhes more, than a Crown with a fevere one.
And (methinks) I had rather be fent away with a civil
God be With you, than be' entertained with Peevifnnefs
and ill Nature, A fmall Favour well timed, becomes
conficlerable : The very manner of giving adds to the^
Gift. Keep not therefore the Poor at a Bay, nor rack
'em with Qvieftions; to what purpoip do thefe Prelimi-
naries ferve, but either to feed your Curiofity, or to
fpead a fretting Humour i* We are of the fame Nature ;
our Bodies are made of the fame Clay, and our Souls
by the fame Hand. The difference between the RicJi
and Poor comes not from Nature or Merit, but from the
Ordination of Providence. Some are born to no other
Eftate than that of their Brethren's Charity, that they
may pradife Patience j and others- to Abundance, that
•• . . they-

fhe Gentleman Infiruchd, 85?

they may exercife Charity ; fo that the Vertue of thele
ftand indebted to the Mifery of thofe ; and the Giver is
ho lefsoblig'd than the R.cceivcr.

IX.

Begin to pradifc the Vertues of a Chrillian betimes ;
accuftom your Palate to 'em before you have tailed Vice,
they'll rehlh better; a fmall Refolution plains the Way
to Heaven in the Beginning, and turns (Jodlincfs.into
Pleafure ; but if you ftay till Sins have flulh'd the Pafli-
ons, and fharpen'd Appetite, nothing but Violence can
fecure you ; you will not be able to advance one Step
without a Combat; you muft fight your way through
all the Squadrons, the Flefh, the World, and the Devil
will draw up to oppofe you ; and when thefe Enemies are
headed by vicious Habits, God knows, v/hether you
will ever be fo hardy, as even to attempt a Conquefl lo
hazardous on the one fide, and fo laborious on the other,

X.

Indeed a Chriftian Behaviour among Gentlemen is
fo unufual, tliat you muft venture to beout of Fafliion,
you muft ftand the Shock of Raillery, and perchance the
Stroak of a Lampoon ; but thefe Weapons ftick in the
Skin, and although they are pufh'd on with all the Vio-
lence of Malice and Profanenefs, are not able to draw
Blood, or to touch your Reputation. I have often been
aftonifh'd at fome Gentlemen, who pra6lifed Vertue at
Home, and Vice in Company ; who betray'd their Con-
fcience to avoid a Blufh. This is, faid I, to fall into the
wretched Blindnefs of fome favage Indians^ v.'ho adore
the Devil, that he may do 'em no Harm. If Rakes glory
in Evil, why fliould you be afhamed at Good ? That
carries along its Condemnation, and this its Juftificati-
on. Surely Shame fits more naturally on Guilt than In-
nocence.

But could we dive into a wicked Man's Heart, could we
pierce into his Soul, we fliould read moft vifible Traces of
Shame and Confufion, every Moment he cafts an Eye
on his Vices, and his Neighbour's Vertues. For let me
tell you^Neancier^i^my has an amiable Afpe6l, it charms
its very Perfecutors, and even thofe who ftigmatize it in
Pradtice, admire its Beauty. So that though fometimes

• they

po I'he Gentleman Injiru^ed.

they let fly a Raillery, and flioot a Joke, thefe petty
Arrows fly at Random, and never come near your Ho-
nour: Nay, take it for a general Rule, that thofe Rakes,
who flirt at a Chriftian Demeanour, have a Tecret Efteem
for it.

Oh, iaid one, I muil draw in my Piety, and mew it
within my'own Walls ; Ihave almoll loft my Chriftian
Name, and am fcarce known, but by that of BiL^ot.
Pray, Sir, faid I, let us' not ftartle at Sounds, nor run
away from Buffoons j let us conftrue the Word, and
frame ri^^ht Notions, and then we fhall find, that Bigot
in the Jargon of Reprobates is nothing elfe but a Man
that believes Religion, and dares profefsit; that boggles
at Oaths, and blufhes at Perjuries ; that will elevate his
Spirits with old Hock^ox new Champaign^ but not drown
liis Reafon ; that has not Courage to laugh at Hell, nor
the Impudence to play upon Heaven ; that fometimes
does good Actions, and always fears bad ones. This is
the Height of a Bigot's Devotion, according to the mo-
dem Ule of the Word ; fo that it imports nothing hurt-
ful, nothing infamous, unlefs it be a Difgrace to profefs
Honefty upon Occaiions, to pradife Morality, and to
have a good Confcience.

But let Debauchees burlefque your Piety, muft yom
abandon it ? Will you abjure Chriftjanity, becaule fome
Libertines fport with Religion ; or commence Atheift, to
humour Fools? Why then will you be feared out of Pie-
ty, or teazed out of Morality ? Is it honourable in Spight
of Raillery to acknowledge a God, and a Difgrace to
ferve him? Is it a Credit to be a Chriftian, and a Shame
to be a good one ? No certainly ; let us put things toge-
ther, and adt confequently j let us call in Reafon to go-
vern Fancy.

Befldes, who are thofe Men that awe us ? A Club of
Animals, that have more Money than Wit, and more
Quality than Confcience ; a Pack of Heftors, that live
ill, and judge worfe ; thai are pitied by fome, and
fcorned by others; the very Panegyricks of thefe Men
ure Satyrs, Praife out of their Mouths is fcandalous, and
Blame is glorious. Neander^ fuffer not your felf to be
laugh'd out of Heaven, nor rallied into Hell ; if you
can't bear the reproaching Frowns and Smiles of a Man,
how will ye endure the Frowns of an angry Deity ? If

" tlie

The Gentleman hjj^rufkd, p r

the Lafli of a petulant Tongue be fo fcnfible, allure your
ielf the Pains of Vire and Brimftone will be more infup-
portable. Vertue in a Dungeon is preferable to Sin on
rhe Throne, and Innocence in the Pillory is more ho-
nourable than Guilt on the Bench.

XI.

If you love your Soul, and refolve to fave it, avoid
the Converfation of Libertines and Athciits j like the Ba-
lilisk, their Eyes dart Poiion, and their I'ongues fpeak
Death : They are Satan's Deputies, and Devils by Proxy.
A Libertine is half Fiend, half Beaft; Pleafure is his
Summum Bonum ; this he places in Sin like the Devil,
and in Mire like the Swine ; he circles from the Tavern
to the Play-houle, from hence to the Stews, and returns
to his Lodging the fame way; fo that his whole Study is
to learn Wicked ncfs, . and his whole Bufinefs to pradlife
it ; his Difcourfe is a Compound of Smut and Blafphe-
my; his. Entertainment unchriftian, and his Diulett dia-
bolical ; he would feign monopolize the Wit of the Na-
tion, but wants both Fund and Patent; his Knowledge
reaches ho further than the Gazette or the Courant^ and
on Occafions he ventures to vent Nonfenfe in Metre ;
his Religion is univerfal, calculated for all Meridians ;
he has one for a Calm, another for a Storm; one for
Europe, another for America ; fo that it's as difficult to
be defined as a Disjundive ; in ii>/^/fl»<afheftickles for his
Biiliops; in Scotland againfl 'em ; he is a 'Jevj at Amjier-
dam^ a Mujfulman. at Cotijlant'wople ; a Papiji at Rome,
2ind a. CahiKtfi at Geneva: In a Word, he is any thing
without, and nothing within ; fo that his whole Religion
turns upon Convenience and Intereft, and is comprized
in theiis Verfes.

Queft. IVbat^s Orthodox and true Believing
Againjl a Confcicfice"^. Anfw, A good Living.
Queft. What makes Rebelling againfl Kings
A good old Can fe"^ Anfw. A dmini firings.
Queft. 14 hat makes all Doclrine plain and clear"^.
Anfw. About tvjo hundred Pounds a Tear.
Queft. And that which vjas proved true before
Prove j. life again '^. Anhw. 7 wo hundred more.

XII. An

9 1 7%e Gentleman Inftnt^ed,
xn.

An Atheifl is an overgrowji Libertine ; and if we be-
jicv^e his own Genealogy, he is a By-bloW begot by Fla-
zard, and flung into tine World by NecefTiiy i he moves
by Wheels, and has no more Soul than a Wind-mill ; he
is thruft on by Fate, and adls by mecr Compullion ; he
is no more Mafter of his Deeds than of his Being j and
therefore is as conftant to liis Word as the Wind to the
fame Corner; fo that an Atheift by his own Principles is
a Knave fer /?, and an honelt Man only fer accidens.
In fine, he Harts out of Dull, and vanifhes into nothing.

Nean. All my Concerns are in the Hand of a Man
who will not be very fond of this Character, y£t he fets
up for an Atheift, and fupports the Fraternity with Ar-
guments and Authority.

Eufeb, Neander, difcharge him out of Hand, he'll cer-
tainly ruin your Soul, and may poffibly embezzle your
Eftate, A round Hurricane of Atoms may drive him in-
to the PoJieiTion of your Lands, and you out of 'em. A
brisk Pull" may conveigh out of fight a necefiary Inden-
ture, or raife high the Bill of Reparations ; there is nq
coming near a Man with Safety, that's void of Confci-
ence ; no trufting Iiim that acts by Fates, or moves by
Deftiny ; if he be .i Slave to impulfe, he is not Mafter of
his Honefty.

Nean. Tho' he abjures God, he upholds Reafon, and
keeps touch with Probity; he values Honour, and would
forfeit Life to maintain it.

Eufeh. Then he is made up of CcntradLffions, and one
part of his Creed ftabs the other ; if there be no God,
your Friend is the Spawn of Cafualty ; the Child of Mat-
ter and Motion, a heapof Duft with a Complex of Ubi-
cations,a Figure without SquI, a Statue without Life ; he
is all Matter like Beafts, no more capable of Reafon than
an Ape, of Vertue than Balaam's Afs, or of Honour
than Caligula's Conful. In fine, withdraw your Con-
cerns, or you may one Day repent your Confidence: For
i muft once for ,11 tell you. Honour v/ithoutConfcience,
without Religion, will yield to Intereft.

NeaK. This cannot be done fo foon ; endeavour, I be-
feech you, to gain him ; overturn his Principles, and the
Conqueft will beeafy j you can't oblige him more than

■ by

^he Gentleman InfrtSed, ^3

by entering into a Difpute; and the (hortellvvay to win
his Favour, is to quarrel with his Tenets.

Eufcb. Difputes indeed are natural to Atheifts; for no
Men maintain r> ith greaterEagernels they are in the Right,
than thofe that fulpe6t they are in the Wrong; like Men
in a dangerous Road, they love to travel in Company,
and fo draw in Profelytes to march to Hell with a Ca-
ravan.

But, Nemder^ this Itch of arguing is a terrible Argu-
ment, they are feared with Doubts, and haunted with
Sufpicions that God is no Ghimaera, it's a Sign that Con-^
fcience is uneafy, and makes fbme Attempts to break all
thp Barriers of Ignorance, Pride and t^lafphemy.

Hov^-ever, I'ifcomply with your Defires, and wait up-
on the Gentleman vvhen you command me : Although I
muft tell you, a converted A theift is a Phcenixfcarcefecn
in an Age ; for he is a Mixture of Pride and Ignorance,
of much Senfe and little Resfon ; he confutes Arguments
with Laughter, and pretends to frown Demonft.ration
it felf into Sophiilry. Kow can Truth (I do not fay
fubdue) but even reach fuch a Man I You may as foou
fetch down t.he~Moon with a Cannon-Bali, as convince
him. V^*

Nean. It's true, but Charity armed with folid Reafong
may perchance foften his Obllinacy ; and although you
lofe your Labour, you'll meet at leaft in the next World
the Reward of your Zeal. I'll tell him you intend to
make him a Viht.

Eufeb. I am content, Neander, I have drawn a iliort
Scheme of your Duty, and wifh you fo happy as to com-
ply with it ; it will prove the bell Support of this Life,
and the greateft Comfort in the other. God has interwo-
ven Man's Felicity with his Duty, and twilled his Inte-
reft wifh Pleafure. A good Man is feldom uneafy, and.
an ill one is always unquiet ; one muft be blind not to
difcovcr the Canker at his Heart through all the glitter-
ing Pageantry of Greatnefs and Power: he may rant
and laugh, but can't be merry : for certainly there is a
great Difference between Noife and Mirth ; their Lives
are as unlike as their Ends; and thofe are as different as
the Pains of the Damned are from the Joys of the
Blefl'ed.

*' Neander

_5)4 ^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed,

*' Neander took leave of Eufeifius, with a Promife to
tail upon jhiin the next Morning. He went immedi-
ately XoTheomachus\ Lodgings ; (this was the Arhcift's
Name) he opcn'd freely his Defign, aifd ask'd him, If
Bufinefs would permit him to enter upon a Conference
with EttjchiMs.

*' Theamachui received the Propoilil with a Tranfport
of Joy, and told Ncander he was infinitely oblig'd to
him, for offering fo fair an Occaiion of making Ac-
quaintance with a Man fo much talk'dof:' For (con-
tinued ht) I have often heard great Commendations
both of his Vertue and Learning, and fliall by this In-
terview be able to judge, whether his Merits equaUhis
Fame. Befides, the Greatnefs of my Adveri'ary will
fecure my Credit, though Fortune declare againll me.
Neander, after fome mutual Compliments, returned
to his Lodgings, with a Refolution to mind Theoma*
f^»j of his Promife the next Morning.

The End of the Ftrft Fart,

A SUP-

SUPPLEMENT

T O T H E

FIRSTPART

<) F THE

Gentleman Injiru^ed ;

With a Word to the

LADIES.

Written for the

Instruction of the Young Nobilitt
^ of both SEXES.

LONDON:
Printed in the Year 1732.

( 97)

THE

PUBLISHER

T O T H E

Ladies and Gentlement.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

ALT HO' it be not ivhhin the Power of Man to
write fo nicely^ as to leave the Criticks nothing to
refine upon ; yet there are fome^ whofe Perfor-
mances come nigher up to it, and hit much better with. the
Gou of the Times, than others. Among thefe we may pre-
fume to reckon The lirft Part of the Gentleman Inllru-
6led ; which was fcarce well fet out, before it was at the
End of its firfi Edition ; and having run the fecond with
the fame Snccefs, in the third, it was defervediy took up
into a Dedication ; in which, as it gain'' d not Utile on Ac-
count of the honourable Perfon it was prcfenled to, fo it
received no fmall Advantage from the ingenious Remarks of
the Dedicator ; whofe E/ogiums are f well thought, his
Thoughts fo well cxprefs''d, and his Exprejfions fo well put
together, that tho' the Work itfelf were of no j/'alue, yet
one woidd buy the Book for the Dedication.

It was the Author's Defire of being unknown, which
made him willing to pafs for being Dead; but this Supple-
ment, which is the genuine Off-fpring of ihe fame Pen^
has too much of him in it, not to convince the World he is
Jiill alive j and whoever reads the fecond Part, will find
there, fuch a Harmony of Thought and Expreffiun with

H the

5>8 The Publisher to the, &c\

the firji, that if the Author had been dead^ one would aU
mojl coy/elude him rifen cgain to write it. In a Word^ he;
ii certainly alive ; and his hop' d his growing Ejieem will
encourage him to oblige the Publick with many juch defer-
ving Pieces,

His Dcfign in this is to inftruSt the Nobility of both
Sexes in their Duty\ and to chalk out the furefl and fhort-
efl IVay to Content in thiiWorld,,and the Glory hi the next.
"This is without doubt an advantageous Difcovery,^ which
fo nearly concerns you,, that I hope you will take the Pro-
pofals into Conji deration. And methinks the Author fo
handfor/iely reconciles Greatncf to Goodnefs^ and all the
prerogatives of Quality to the Precepts of the Gojpel; that
*^ou wuft either have forfeited Reafon,, or have bid adieu to
Religion,^ if you refufe to praSiJe the Method he prefcribes :
For who but Fools and Atheijls will rejign all Pretenfions
to a future Blifs, for any temporal Enjoyment,, when he
Kay live great here,, and happv hereafter^.

Ladies^ Soldiers,, and Courtiers will find here the Caufet
of their Mifcarriages,, and the Remedies : And if a hare
expofing of your Failures over- heat the Spleen,, and awaken
indignation ; furcly the Gentleman's Antidote will lay theft
unjujl Refentnients ; and perfuade you to acknowledge^ that
he had been lefs charitable,, if he had been more indulgent.

A SUP-'

(99)

A

SUPPLEMENT

To the First Part

O F T H E

Gentleman Injtru^ed, &e.

DIALOGUE L

7'he Caufe of the follovjing Dialogues.

EU S EB lU S prepar'd for the Rendezvous, and
refolv'd to attack the Atheift next Day : But an
unforefeen Accident deferr'd the Meeting.
A Club of young Blades that Evening filed off from
the Play-houfe to ftorm fome Bottles of Champaign.
Eleutheriu! led on the Brigade, and march'd at the
Head of the Battalion. And indeed, he was compleatly
equipt for the Adventure. His Pm-fe was arm'd with
Silver, and his Confcience with Steel. They attack'd the
Enemy with Courage, and bore on with Refolution. All
protefted againft Quarter, (as brave Friburgen did at Cre-
mona) and io refolv'd to ftand till they fell in the Enter-
prizei

H 2 Bu^>

100 A Supplement to the firft Van

But if the Aflailants did Execution, Champaign did
more : It tilted at the Head, and made diredily at the
Brain. One dropp'd under the Table, an Huzza waited-
upon him to the Ground ; and Morpheus fiept in to play
the Surgeon.

The Misfortune of one breathes Vigour into the other;
they carry on manfully the Attack : Their Heads run
round with the Glafles ; their Tongues ride Poft ; their
Wits are jaded ; and Reafon is diftanc'd. Brutes could
not talk better, nor Men worfe: Like Skippers in a Storm,
they rather hollow'd than fpoke; fcarce one heard his
Neighbour, and not one underftood him: So that Noife
ftood for Senfe, and every one pafs'd for a Virtuofo, be-
caufe all play'd the Fool to Extravagance.

The Subje6t of their Heat was no lefs furprizing than
the Management of it ; and both ridiculous to Amaze-
ment. Sorrel (cries one with an Oath) is the mofl com-
plcat Nag in Englaysd; and theii he threw among the
Company fuch a Bedroll of Jockey-Jargon, that one
Would think he had fwept the Stable feven Years, or fervM
an Apprenticefhip to a Farrier. From Terms of Arts he
goei on to a Lefl'on of Proportion. He dilleils the Ani-
mal ; and flings the Anatomy on the Table ; then he
fl©urifhes on his Feats, and fv/ears he is famous in the
Journal of Neiv-Market. Nay, I am told, the Gentle-
m:in protefted, Surrcl was as \tc11 born as himfelf j that in
a collateral Line he touch'd the greater Beucephalns^ and
was a Couiin. once remov'd, to Cnii^ula's Conful.

Wine hAQ heated the Company's Blood ; but this lliort
Panegyrick inflam'd it. They could n'ot agree to Sorrel's
Atchievements, nor fufFer him to monopolize the Per-
fcftions of his Species ; every Man ilood up in Defence
of his own Rozi»ante^ and maintain'd his juft Preroga-
tives with Heat and Clamour. But whilft the Difpute
run high, their Wits funk lov/ with the Bottles ; Senfe
flumber'd, and Reafon almoft fell into a Lethargy.

From the Stable they, trip over to the Kennel, and leave
Horfes, to philofophize on Hounds. They follow the
Chace with Tumult ; one would have taken 'em for a
Pack of Beagles on the Scent, but that they open'd louder.
All this while the Glafles circle, Reafon ebbs, Extrava-
gance flows, and Mirth flies out into Madnefs.

And

of the Gentleman Inftrti^fed. loi

And now our Gallants were handfomely equipp'd for
■any Villany. Champaign had fir'd their Blood, intoxi-
cated Realbn, and drowned Sh:ime. They fell upon their
Maker without Fear, without Scruple. Some worry his
Juftice, whillt others buffoon his Mercy. The Juice of
the Grape had fwell'd thefe petty Pigmies into daring Gi-
ants, v.'ho canonaded Heaven, and defied the Omnipotent.
Indeed their Drunkennefs made fome Atonement for
their Blafphemies: But after all, it's a fad Cafe, when a
Man is better for heing transform'd into a Beaft, and lefs
foolifh for having loft his Wits.

One protefted againft all Religions but that of Epicure :
Againft all Heavens but that of Mahomet : And againft
all Hells, but Want of Champaign or Canary. Another
would not receive the Lord's Prayer without an Amend-
ment. To petition for Bread (faid he) has more of the
Beggar, than of the Gentleman. And futes better with
the Poor of the Parifh, than with the Lord of the Manor.
Let us at leaft (faid hej tack to daily Bread, one Bot-
tle of Burgundy. The Motion met with Applaufe :
Every one follow'd the Propofal with a Comment ten
times more outragious than the Text. They rioted on :
Impiety and the moft rampant Infolence pafs'd for the
moft refined Wit. Nay, to fcrew Outrage to the high-
eft Point, Oh ! fays one, give me Religio Medici^ this
Religion at large is a healing Profeflion : It reconciles the
Crofs with the Crefcent, and ftrikes an Alliance be-
tween the Son of Mary^ and the Son of Abdcdc. Thus
is the Gofpel deliver'd up to the Rabble, and a petty A-
theiftical Pamphlet lock'd up in the Ark. Our Saviour's
Doctrine muft give Place to the Vifions of an irreligious
Quack, more fit to gaze upon Urinals, than to talk of
Religion.

Had their Difcourfe been innocent, their Madnefs had
been diverting: But to hear Chriftians turn God into
Farce, and Religion into Romance ; revile Sandlity, and
play with Juftice, is monftrous and provoking. For what
can be more amazingly flagitious, than to make God the
Subje6l of our Sport, and the Gofpel of our Diverfion?
Than to throw the moft auguft and the m.oft trifling things
into the fame Compofition ? And to blend Majefty and
Omnipotence with Laughter and Frenzy ?

H 3 The

.102 A Supplement %o the frjl Tart

The Proverb fays,^i6o murthers when he is drunk, muji^
han^^ for it when he is fober , I would have it pafs into a
Jlanding Law, and take in Blafphemers. The Fear of.
a red hot Iron might pofljbly put 'em in Mind of Fire and
Brimllone, and the Dread of paffing for ftigmatiz'd Vil-
lains in this World, miglit fcare them into an Apprehen-
sion of living eternally Reprobates in the next.

By this time Eleutherius had feiz'd on the Chair, and
began to hold forth on the Text of ede, bibe. He was i.
Libertine at full Growth, a Latitudinarian in Principk,
and by Confequence an Atheift in Pradice. Epicure was
his Gafuift, and Hobbs his Divine.

To your Arms, Gentlemen (bawls he) the Enemy has
taken the Field, and advances to beat up our Quarters.
Our Privileges galp, and our great Prerogative lies bleed-
ing. Nothing but Refolution can retrieve 'em.

The Company gaz'd at this unexpe6led Exordium.
Some cry'd out Thieves, others a French Invafion; but
moft concluded, the Monfieurs could fcarce land without
Veilels i unlefs they follow'd the Road of the Compojlella
Pilgrims, or preft lome Teams o^ Domingo's Ganzes. But
the Orator perceiving the Surprize, foonlaid their Fright",
and calm'd their Fear. Gentlemen (continued he) our
Enemies are domeftick, not foreign ; and they prepare
Chains for our Confciences, not for our Bodies. In a
Word, they preach up Vertue, and cant down Pleafure j
entail Heaven on the one, and Hell on the other.

Yet, did they confine this Obligation of Self-denial to
the Clergy, or the Sex, I would fit down, and only fmile
at the Impofture. But alas! they even llrike at our un-
queftionable Prerogative, and bring Gentlemen within
the Lafh of the Statute. We mull forfooth fling up our
Claim to Heaven, unlefs we ftarve in the Face of Plenty.
We fhall cry out in the next World for Wate*" to cool our
parch'd Tongues, if we bathe 'em with Burgundy in this.
Thefe new-coin'd Tenets are fet on Foot, and abetted
in London, nay, in the very Sight of the Play-houfe and
T-ivern.

I met this Morning one Eufebius, the grand Patriarch
of thefe dangerous Morals: His Perfon feems as out-
landifli as his Dodrine, and his Mind no lefs heterodox
than his Principles: He is a Compound of Jew and In-
fidel, Pharifee on the one Side, and Stoick on the other:

His

of the Gentleman Inftru&e^. 103

His Gate is as grave as the old Duke of Alvah, and as
ftarch'd as that of his Majefty of Pegu : But his Tongue
rides Poft, and is a kind of Motus perpetuus ; and like
old Diogenes^ or Timon^ is always upon the Satyr. In
fine, I took the Man for Penanc*in Perfon, and Mor-
tification in Qijerpo ; for a meer Mummy pickled in
Myrrh, and bak'd in Bitumen. Gentlemen, cries h.e,
mull low Appetite, baulk Senfe, and curb Nature: They
mull war upon the Flelh, reprefs its Saliies, and diet it
into Obedience : They mull be humble in Grandeur, poor
in Wealth, and meek in Spight of Provocation; They
mull melt down their Sv/ords into Crolles, and turn their
fine Holland Shirts into Sackcloth. Is not this to lay lis
on our Backs? To break down the Enclofure between
Quality and Peafantry, and to call in our Patents? Drud-
gery is the Portion of Clowns, Pleafure the Inheritance
of Gentlemen: I could not indeed confute his Sophifms
with Reafon, but will by Pradice. And if I am not
millaken, one Fadl weighs more than a thoufand Spe-
culations. Let us llrangle this new-born Brat in the Cra-
dle. Principiii objia is a nice Maxim: A Spark contemn'd
breaks often into a Flame. New Errors are as highly re-
ceiv'd into our Ifland as new Falhions, and we are juft as
conllant to our Principles as to our Amours.

The Harangue v/as receiv'd with Applaufe, and all vo-
ted a Remedy. Some would filence Eufebms with a Ba-
ftinado, and others with Reafon. They pitch'd upon the
lall Opinion as more civil, and lefs dangerous.

An Interview is refolv'd. But who will take up the
Cudgels, and clofe with the Enemy ? Eleutherius found
no Inclination to mcafure Weapons with a vidorious Foe.
The firft Engagement had cool'd his Appetite. He had
fhot all his Ammunition, and like our German Allies, ex-
pedled a Bill of Exchange to furnilh his Magazine with
new Provifion.

The Expedition, fays one of the Company, is of too
great Confequence to be committed to Eleutherius's Con-
dudl ; he has been once fool'd, and a fecond Attempt, ill
manag'd, may give an entire Overthrow to our Caufe.
To be foil'd and foil'd, fays another with a Smile, may
pafs for fynonymous in his Cafe ; the Senfe comes as near
as the Letters, and the Signification of either may equally
bsapply'dtohim.

H 4 Eleft'

104 A Suvvtiumr to the firft Part

Eleutherius was furpriz'd at the Glance, and the Sar-
cafm caird for a Blufli ; but Wine prevented the Con-
fufion ; for it having taken Pofleffion of his Cheeks, they
could admit no other Colour ; tho' to fpeak Truth, £-
Jeutherius had a great Command over his Blood, and was
within an Ace, as much Mafterof his Face as of his Con^
fcience.

However, he protefted againft the Calumny, yet with
too much Heat to be innocent; the Wine had warm'd
his Coiirage, but this fet it on Fire. The Confult had
ended in a civil War, had not one of the Company inter-
pos'd, and kept the Peace between her Majefty'sSubjeds.
Nay, he undertook the Command of the Expedition : So
that having provided for the Encounter, they reel'd to
their Lodgings, tho* fome took up in the Ivennel.

DIALOGUE n.

A Profecution of the fame Subje^,

WHILST Eleutherius prepar'd againft Eufebius on
the one Side,his Lady (whom I call Emilia) mufter'd
Troops on the other. Yefterday's Difcourfe lay hard on
her Ladyfhip's Stomach. The Gentlewoman was down-
right Crop-fick, and nothing but Revenge was able to
carry off the Humour. She had been fo inur'd to Com-
pliments, that fhe could not digeft Eufehiui's Freedom.
Flattery had plac'd her among the Beauties, and Favour
voted her a Wit. She was fond of the Promotion, and
by an innate Pride, common to the Sex, afcribed the
■whole Preferment to Merit, and nothing to Courtefy.
Now, this Lady, fo gaudy in Conceit, could not endure
to receive Reproof for Incenfe, nor unpalatable Truths
for fawning Courtfliip. She dreaded a fincere Tongue
no lefs than a true Glafs,. and would no more fuffer her
Conduct to be queftioned than her Complexion. Eufe-
hius indeed had handled her Ladyfliip without Ceremo-
ny, but her DIfeafe was mortal : Like an honeft Sur-
geon, he would not fpare the Saw to flatter the Patient.
However, he ftept not over the Rules of Breeding, but
I ' . - . . kept

of the Gentleman Inftru^ed. 105

kept within the Bounds of Decency: But he could not
applaud her Follies, nor canonize her Irregukrities. She
was wedded to the World. He told her (lie embrac'd a
Shadow, that once would betray her Hopes, and thwart
her Expedation with Diliippointment: That flie might
retrieve her Folly by a timely Divorce ; but that dilatory
Put-offs are generally follovv'd by an untimely Repent-
ance. Eufebius might have expedled from her Court-
Breeding, a civil Return for fo charitable a Caveat. E-
milia was in the wrong, but fhe would not be kl right.
She pofted to Hell, yet would needs be told Ihe took the
high Way to Heaven : And becaule the good old Gen-
tleman pollponed her Favour to her Happinefs, and re-
fufed to purchafe her bonnes Graces at the Expence of her
Soul, fhe flew into a Fury, and repaid his Charity with
Satyr and Declamation. Nay, fome affirm Paffion had
almoft ftopp'd Refpiration, and that fhe had certainly ex-
pir'd of a Syncop, had flie not taken Coach, and thrown
off the ftifling Humour in theBofoms ofaFemale3^^»<5(?,
with whom (he pah'd the Evening.

'Emilia found the Ladies in a Commotion, their Con-
verfation was clamorous, and too earnell to be indiffe-
rent. Indeed a kin4 of South-Eaft Wind had ruffled their
Temper, and blown their Tongues into Diforder. The
French Packet-Boat brought over the Alarm, and Lucia
(fo I call the Lady) paid the Poft a Shilling for the Mor-
tification. To be (hort, this Gentlewoman entertained
an Envoy at the French Court to give Intelligence how
Modes ebb'd and flow'd ; when they firft appear'd; when
like to expire; which were more proper for forty, which
for fixteen ; which for a rifing, which for a fetting Beau-
ty. She received frefh Advice, that the French King had
forbid the wearing of Gold Lace, and that all below a
Countefs lay under the Prohibition ; that he had clipp'd
Commodes, and taken the Sex a Story lower; that the
Duchefs of Burgundy immediately undrefs'd, and ap-
pear'd in a Fontagne of the new Standard; that his Ma-
jefty had a Defign againft Top-knots ; and had pafs'd in
Council an MX againft theTranfportatign of Wafhes and
Pomatums.

This unexpedled Intelligence wrought like diaturhith
cum Rhea, Paffioh flufh'd in their Faces, and burftoutof
their Mouths. I'he Grand Lewis was commanded to the

Bar,

ro6 A Supplement to the firft Fart

Bar, and pronounced guilty of a high Mifdemeanour ; he
was handled by this Female Bench as Cavalierly, as the
Salamanca Doctor by Sir George "jejferies ; and his exor-
bitant Power receiv'd more Lafhes in an Hour, than at
the Hague ^ ox Vienna^ in a Twelve- month.

The Sun, fays one, in all his Voyages never faw a more
imperious Prince ; he drives at univerfal Monarchy, his
Delires out-llretch his Dominions, nothing is able to
glut his Ambition but the Slavery of Europe ; he has be-
lieged Towns thefe threefcore Years, now he falls foul
upon Fafhions, and hectors at the Toilet as he huffs in
the Field.

This is, continued another, an Inroad upon our Privi-
lege, and a manifefr Invaiion of our Right ; to model
DrelTes, is the chief Branch of our Prerogative ; nay, it's
our proper Chattel ; in a Word, it's an Employment en-
tailed on our Sex.

Indeed, I am told, fays a third, French Laws reach
not our Ifland ; they are contraband here no lefs than
their Wines : But tho' there be no Commerce of Trade,
there is of Modes : We are always French without, tho*
feldom within ; and though we hate their Soldiers, w©
dote on their Taylors and Sempftrefles. We (liould there-
fore fee the Waiters, and feize on the reform'd Ware at
the landing; nay, and indidl the Seamen upon the Sta-
tute of no Commerce with France,

Emilia expedted a Qiteve with Impatience, and now
flic thought to cafe her Mind, and to lay open the Caufe
of her Chagrin to the Company. Alas ! faid fhe, our
Privileges are not only rifled at Paris, they areclipp'd at
Londm : The diftinguifliing Marks of Birth and Title are
defaced; and the Maid Hands on the fame Level with my
Lady: Then fhe entertain'd the Club with the Dialogue
between herfelf and Eufebhis^ and follow'd the Text
with an exafperating Comment : Nay, fhe mifrepre-
fented the Difcourfe to fit it for Satyr, and foifted in fome
grating Expreffions to provoke Refehtment : The Ha-
rangue tired the Audience, and almoll threw a Leafh of
Ladies into Fits. They toft Patience, and even Breeding :
Paffion feiz'd on Reafon, and Revenge gave Liberty to
the Tongue. When Spite and Impotence meet, no-
thing is more clamorous and extravagant.

But

of the Gentleman J?iftni5ied. 107

But above all Emilia was remarkable: Nature had fa-
vour'd her with a voluble Tongue; and her mercurial
Temper, heated with Revenge, irnprov'd its Motion to
Admiration : So that it run at the Rate often Miles an
Hour, and lafli'd Eufebius without Mercy or Interrupti-
on. They leave Monfieur at I'^erfailles to chaftife Eufe-
ifius zl London: He was to be brought upon his Knees
firft, and tiien to do Penance before the Congregation:
But thefe levere Refolutions ^yere the EfFed of the firil
Heat, Timecool'd their Fury., and wrought them into
Terms of a more reafonable Satisfaction. They thought
therefore fit to compound with the Gentleman upon thefe
Articles, i . That he crav'd Pardon of the Ladies for af-
fronting their Charafter in the Perfcn of Emilia. 2. That
he acknowledged theDoftrine he had advanc'd was hete-
rodox ; rather fpoken out of Inadvertence than Malice,
and more to carry on Difcourfe, than to impofe an Ob-
ligation. 3. That thefe Words of our Saviour, be perfe^^
rather intimate a Counfel than a Command : And that
they concern neither the Dutchefs, Countefs, nor Gen-
tlewoman. 4. That the forefaid Perfons are exempt from
the Cumbrances of the Gofpel, and lie under no Law but
of their Pleafure. Emilia and Lucia drew up thefe Con-
ditions, and were deputed by the Junilo to prefent them
to Eufebius. In the mean Time the good Man went to
Bed, never dreaming pf their Defigns ; and ignorant of
the Work thefe two Cabals had cut him out for the next
Day's Employment.

DIALOGUE III.

Eufebius lays open the irregular Conduit of Ladies.

EMilia and Lucia drove away betimes the next Mor-
ning ioEufebius^s Lodging.They generouily for once
broke their Sleep to execute their Commiffion ; and ex-
pos'd their Health to the Morning Vapours for the com-
mon Concern of the Sex. Eufebius ftarted at the Earli-
iiefs of the Vilit, and began to fufped this unufual Ap-
pearance, like monftrous Births, portended a Turn of
State j or threatning Inundation, or Earthquakes: To

rife

io8 A Supplement to the Jirji Viitt

rife by Candle-light, and to fet out before the Sun, is not
only a Breach of Cuflom, but a Violation of the Cere-
monial of Ladies •, univerfaily they mull not begin their
Journies till Phcehus has almofl ended his, nor lay down
to iieep till he prepares to rife. However, Eufebius re-
membred his Duty in theHeight of his Surprize, and re-
ceived the Deputies with a Refpefl. He would fain have
regaled them with 'a Difli of Chocolate, but they refu-
fed the Offer: For indeed, they had already, by Way of
Precaution, armed themfelves againft the Serena with a
Caudle.

Emilia open'd her Commiflion, and read her Creden-
tials; then, I am fent, faid fhe, by a fele6t Committee
of Ladies to require Salisfadion. You are, Sir, I pre-
fume, continued ilie, too guilty to deny the Charge, and
too much a Gentleman not to ask our Pardon.

Eufebius could fcarce keep Countenance at this uncx-
pedted Harangue ; and indeed, had not her Ladyfliip wept
like April y he might have turn'd the Scene into Farce and
Comedy. Indeed {he wept fo heartily, one would jiave
thought her favourite Lap-dog lay gaiping, or that fome
American Planter had kidnapp'd the little Animal, to
tranfplant the Species into Virginia. It was not Repen-
tance for her Sins melted her Heart, axid drew down thele
plentiful Showers: No, no. Vexation alone open'd the
Flood-gates of her Eyes, and call her into this whimper-
ing Diftemper. Euj'ebim^ as I faid, had catechifed her
Ladyfhip, and (he took his Freedom in Dudgeon : She
miftook his Charity for Difrefpedt, and thought herfelr
affronted, becaufe he paid lefs Refpedt to her Follies, than
to her Perfon; for great Ladies expedt Flattery even for
thofe Extravagancies for which they are in Danger of fuf-
fering Fire and Brimftone hereafter. Now the very Sight
of Eufebius boird up her Refeptment to tlie Brim, and
becaufe it found not an eafy Ifluc through the I'ongue, it
broke a Paflage through the Eyes.

Eufebius feeing Emilia in this Situation, thought open
Raillery unfeafonable, and yet he could not refolve to be
ferious. He took therefore a Mean, and between Ear-
neft and Jeft ; you are, Madam, I perceive, faid he, a
publick Minifter, and this Lady is your Adjoint. Why
was not I advertis'd of your coming; I might have pre-
par'd the Sopha^ or boiTow'd her Majefty's Coaches to

con-

of the Gentleman JnJIru6led. lop

condu£l you to Audience. But feeing you are plcas'd to
appear Incognito^ let my Ignorance apologize for this poor
Reception.

You tell me, I am guilty of Leze Majefty againft La-
dlgs ; certainly a crime of fo monftrous a Size would fly
in my Face, unlefsmy Memory were fhort, ormy Con-
fcience harden'd. Yet though Age hath not wore out
the one, nor my Morals feered the other, I arn not con-
fcious of the Trefpafs. No, I refpe(5l their Quality, and
have a regard for their Perfons, when attended by Merit,
and waited on by Vertue ; but when 1 find no Fund of
Excellency, but the Feminine Gender; a dignified Hus-
band, or a gaudy Manteau, I referve my Efteem for
more deferving Objects.

Luc. How, Sir ! Have you the Confidence to plead not
guilty before Emilia ? Refrefli your Memory, call a Re-
liedion upon Yefterday's Converfation ! Was it genteel ?
Was it managed by the ftrift Rules oi Decorum} You
forgot her Station and your own.

Eufeb, You muil not wonder, Madam, if I deny the
Tndidment; the Law allows it to Criminals, it's the Style
of the Court. Now, I fuppofe, you will not refufe me the
Privilege of the Bar. But however, I had I confefs the
Honour to argue a Point with Emilia., and the Misfor-
tune to difpleafe her. Yet the Offence was meerly per-
fonal, itreach'd not the Court, muchlefs the whole Sex.
I prefume every Woman is not Legion. And that Affronts,
like Difeafes, are not propagated by Sympathy.

Luc. You ftruck and wounded the whole Sex through
Emilia's Side. Did you not preach up Vertue, not only
as an Ornament to Quality, but as a fcri6l Obligation i*
Did you not lampoon our ConducS, and expofe our Be-
haviour ?

Eufeb. I told jE»i(;7/^ Vertue ■was her Duty, and I have
Scripture for my Wsrrant. Pray fly in the Face of the
Holy Ghofl, and bring in an Adlion of Scanddlimi wag-
natum againft our blefled Saviour, He pinches, I aflure
you, upon Grandeur and Title, and values more a Dairy-
Maid with Vertue, than a Princefs without it. I ventu-
red alfo to compare the Pradice of Ladies with their
Duty ; and after a ferious Application, I found the one
bore no Proportion with the other. They jar like Con-
traries, and can no more be rcconcil'd than Contradido-

ries.

no A Supplement to the firjl Part

ries. If I arraign the Exprefles of fome, 'twas only to'
reform them. Charity guided my Tongue, not Satyr. In
line, lendeavour'd to correct their Failings, without out-
raging their Perfons, or infulting their Quality. Now,
pray Ladies, Where is the Harm ? Is it not true, That
God created the World for Man, and Man for himfelf ?
And are not Ladies comprehended in this general End of
the Creation ? Will they refign all Claim to Heaven ?
Or fliake off the Yoke of Depehdance ? Are they not
therefore oblig'd to ferve God, both dut of Intereft and
Duty ? Is not this the fundamental Stone of our Religi-
on ? The capital Maxim of the Gofpel? The whole Load
of Chriflian Promifes and Precepts lean on this Bafis. And
as God has obferved no Mean in his Favours to us, fo he
has put no Bounds to our Obligation. Love the Lord thy
God with all thy Heart. This is Scripture, Ladies: It's
not only God's Word, but his Command ; and I find no
where that the topping Females lie without the Pale of
the Precept : But perhaps you are better read in Shakeffear
than Revelation.

Luc. God be thank'd. Sir, we know the Catechifm,
Do you fuppofe v/e receiv'd our Education in the Wilds
of America ?

Eufeb. I qucftion not your Knowledge: It's hard to
overlook a Truth God has ftamp'd within us. That we;
were made to 'ferve God is the firll Leflbn we learn : But
by Misfortune, wc feldom look behind the Principle: We
never take into Gonfideration the Confequences : For if it
be true you were meerly created for his Service and Glo-
ry, every A<5lion that warps from this Point is excentrical
and'irregular: It's a Violation of your Duty, and carries
you from the End of your Creation. Be pleas'd to furvey
your Thoughts and Defires ; calculate your Words and
Adlions ; and then tell me. Whether they hanker'd not
more after your Sajisfaftion than God's Service? Whe-
ther they aim'd not more at the obliging of Senfe, than
at the Difcharge of your Duty ? And yet you believe you
were placed in this World to fave your Soul : That your
only Bufinefs is to iave it : That though you gain theU-
niverfe, you lofe all unlels you fave it : Permit me to dis-
believe you in this Particular, or to conclude your Rea-
fontobedifordcr'd.

V

of the Gentleman Injiru^ied. iii

Efttil. Take your Choice, Judgments work no Altera-
tion in this: You will fcarce think us out of Chriftianity,
nor judge us into Bethlem: But pray. What unfortunate
Conllellation reign'd at our Births ? What fatal Influ-
ence dubb'd ur- Fools oi Infidels ? The Dilemma is un-
kind: I might add, ungenteel. Infidelity in a reform'd
Nation has fomething of the Monfter : And Folly every
where much of the Beaft. Does our Difcourfe betray
any Diftemper of the Head ? Or our Praftice any Symp-
toms of a depraved Will ?

Eufeh. Should you fee a Man, whilft his Eftate lay
gafping, faunter from the Play-houfe to the Tavern ;
fleep till Ten in the Morning, and revel till Twelve at
Night ; baftinado his Lawyers, and challenge his Judge
to a Duel ; would you not conclude this Gentleman va-
lued Indigence above an Eftate? That he was fond of
Poverty ? Or compleatly rigged out l^r a Journey to
Morefidds ?

Emit. We fhould queftionlefs infer, he had a Mind to
disburthen himfelf of the Incumbrance of Lands ; and
to try the Charity of the Congregation. But pray parallel
tiot our Behaviour to this Coxcomb's Extravagance.

Eufeb. By no means ; for how can I compare Things
that have no Proportion, or Analogy ? This Coxcomb's
Folly can only throw him into Poverty, and thofe trou-
blefome Sequels that wait on Indigence, light Dinners,
and foul Linen : And yet, this Misfortune may by Care
and Induftry be retrieved, and muft end. But Ladies
mull expert more difmal Confequences of their Negli-
gence ; But Heaven loft is never found, and Hell Flames
once lighted, are never extinguifhed.

Luc. Nay, now we are fallen on the Topickof Eter-
nity, we fhall never end. You arechopp'd upon the Text
of Pedants, upon the common Theme of Cant. You
intend to fright us into Bigotry, and to fcare us into Sla-
very. We know God has prepar'd a Heaven for his f>iends,
and a Hell for his Enemies, and that both are everlafting ;
but we know alfo whilft we do no Harm, we incur no
Guilt, and by Confequence no Punifhment.

Eufeh. Hell indeed is a very common Place, the Road
to it is plain, and always crouded, fo that it's well Peo-
pled : Nay, and the Citizens, like thofe of o\iiRome, are
in great part Lords, Knights and, Ladies; and the Pri-

vilegjs

i 1 2 A Supplement to the firft Part

vilege of the Corporation runs for Eternity. You arc
acquainted, you tell me, with this Truth: However, I
take the Freedom to rub up your Memory, and I think
a Touch of it lometimes, tho' it be only in Glance and
Cypher, is feafonable : For, I confefs, a Doubt has hung
cruelly in my Head, whether the Knowledge of ourFirft-
rate Mortals, of both Sexes, reach'd the Centre ? I have
fpent fome Reflexions upon their Conduct, and find Hell
in their Pradtice, but not in their Belief. I have compa-
red with Grief, Pagan Rome with Chriftian London, and
read in the Pra6tice of this, the Infidelity of the other.
T^ieir Aftions are fo uniform, one muft conclude their
Expeftations are the fame ;, and that our EngUJh Hopes
and Fears are confined wholly to the prefeht, as well as
the liomans. For, in fine, thefe Pagan Ladies were litter'd
XoCampus Martlus^ ours are coach'd to Hyde-Park ; if
they fheer'd ofF to the Theatre, ours drive home by the
Play-hofife i they had their Balls, we are not behind-
hand in this Diverfion. The Roman Ladres hung. Pro-
vinces in their Ears, and carry'd the Price of Kingdoms on
their Backs, and their Vanity fwell'd to that Excefs, that
nothing but a Decree of the Senate, was able to put
Bounds to its Extravagance. Indeed our Banks are lefs
furnifh'd than thofe of Rome ; and fo our Englip Vices
muft be content with lefs Equipage : We are not attend-
ed bv a Train of Slaves, nor carried on the Shoulders of
Gatils, or Germans , our Pendants and Necklaces rpay
want fome Carats of the antient Bravery, but generally
they weigh more than our Lands, and Lordfhips ; they
eat up our Glebe, and prey upon our very Titles. So that
tho' our Vanity has lefs Pomp and State, it's attended by
more Folly.

I confefs l^enus and Cupid have no Altars in our Chur-
ches, yet, tho' they are clear of Idols, Idolatry goes on :
Like Mfchas we worfliip thefe little Proftitutes at Home
with Epods and Theraphim^ and turn the v/hole Year into
a Lupercalia : Vv^e build., I mean, to this Procurefs and
Pandar, Altars in our Hearts, out of the Reach of Parli-
ament or Church-wardens ; and facrifice, not Doves, but
all our Thoughts, Delires, and Adlions, to thofe lewd
Divinities. For pray confider, do not Love Intrigues take
up the Time of Chrillians, as well as of the old Pagans ?
And are they not carried on whh as much Heat and Ce-
remony

of the Gentleman Jnftru^ied. 113

femony at London as at Rome ? Can Hiftory inftance one
Fadl of Incontinence that we have not adopted by Pra-
dlice ? Nay, the Copies we draw out-do the Originals j
and we blufli as little at thofe Crimes our Religion con-
demns to Fire and Brimftone, as the Pagans at thofe I-
dolatry placed in Heaven.

Now, who can draw any other Conclufion from fuch
a Refemblance of Practice, but a Refemblance of Be-
lief? And that En^land^ tho' Chriltian Vv'ithout, is no
lefs Pagan within than America ? For what is the Diffe-
rence, but that our Name is better, and our Vices worfe.
I have heard that a Japonefe^ by the Inftrudion of a
Divine, conceived a high Idea of the Chriftian Religion ;
but all the Rhetorick of the Preacher was unable to bring
him over till he had taken a Journey into Europe. With
the firft fair Wind he fet Sail for Goa.^ he doubles the
Cape of Good Hope., and lands at Lisbon ; he travels
over Europe ; he examines the Behaviour and Employ-
ments of Chriftians, he compares their Lives with their
Belief; the Loofenefs of their Aftions with the Severity
of their Precepts j and finding no Proportion between
the Doftrineand the Pradice, he concluded Chriflianity
was Mummery and Romance: That we did not believe
in Europe., what wepreach'd m India ; and, in fine, that
Chriflianity was rather a Myftery of Iniquity than of
Godlinefs. For he could not conceive it poffible for fo
many Millions to run counter to the Laws of their Pro-
feflion, and to combine to confute by an univerfal Pra-
ctice all the Articles of their Creed. Can Men, faid
he, who profefs a Gofpel of Love and Amity, outrage
their Brethren, and welter in the Blood of their neareft
Relations ? Can Men who are bid to lay up all their
Treafure in Heaven, place their whole Concerts upon
Earth? Can they take up here, as if they wcvq never to
remove, and fettle with Satisfodion in the very Place of
their Exile ? Can A/Icn believe Chrift fullered for their
Sins, and yet crucify him in their Oaths ? Or that God
will avenge Crimes, and yet commit the blackeft without
Horror, or even Scruple ? Can they believe Lull is for-
bid, and at the fame time make it their Bufinefs to ex-
cite Flefli, and vihip on the Paflions to Excefies even be-
yond their natural Ir.clination ? To plunge inlo Debau-
ches lefs upon Appetite, than by wav of Exploit and
I * Qallanu-y ?

1 14 A Supplement to the firft Fart

Gallantry?. This poor Idolater could not conceive how
the Condu61: of Chriftians could vary fo prodigioufly from
their Judgments : How their Law could teach Morality,
and their Adions breathe Impiety. And fo return'd into
his Country with this Perfualion, that our Religion was
all Artifice, all criminal, or all Chriftians Infidels.

Er/2il. Well, fcolding is a Song of two Parts; if you
take one, I may be temped to take the other. Provi-
dence fpoil'd a good Surgeon to make an ill Gentleman.
Your Genius lies fo to Difl'eftion, I believe you take as
much Pleafurein the cuttir.gup of a Fault, or in reading
upon the Sores of your Neighbour, as a Doctor of the
College in the anatomizing of a Malefactor taken Irom
the Gibbet. Take your way, lampoon the whole Race
of Chrifii ms, and make a Satyr upon the Nation. You
have aflumed the Office of Cenibr- General, and what
will you gain but Enemies and Reproof?

Lmc. His Invedive, Madam, reaches not us, we do
no Harm ; our Condud is innocent, and our Behaviour
belies not our Profeflion.

Eufcb. I ■^m not difpofed to libel Ladies, ncr to bur-
lefque Mankind. But I am concern'd in earneft, to fee
People in fpight of all Sollicitation to be happy, run head-
long, like crown'd Vidims, to their Ruin, To fee Chri-
ftians claim a Right to the vaft Promifes of our Redeem-
er, and at the lame time to break thro' all the Princi-
ples that fupport the Title. You fix your Security upon
this wretched Maxim, I d:j mo Harm. Suppofe it true;
Will thisenfure your Hapninefs?

You have certainly coniidcr'd. Matt. xxv. You have
read the Parable of a Mafter, who call'd his Servant to
Account for a Talent. Be pleafed upon my Recommen-
dation to turn once more to the Place : It feemsdefign'd
for your Inftrudion ; weigh the Drift, and ftop at every
Circumftance. This Man deliver'd his Servant a Talent
with a Command to lay it out at Intereft : Butrefleding
on the one fide perchance that the#Bank was funk, and
the Security queftionable; and on the other that his Ma-
fter was fevere and exading, he thought it a piece of Po-
licy to fecure the Capital ; and reftor'd it imm.ediately at
his Return. But the Mafter treats the Man with Heat
and Out! !'^-e. /// a^i^ idle Servant. He receives the
Talent with ladignation, he coof s him up in Jayl ; and

then

of the Gentleman Inflru6fed. 115

then condemns him to weeping and gnafhing of Teeth.
Now This poor Wretch was neither Thief nor Murder-
er; he neither wafted his Lord's Goods, nor alienated
'em. It's true, he laid not out the Money to Intereft j
but he fecur'd the Principal: And if he did no Good, he
was cliarg'd with no Harm. Notwithftanding this Plea
brought him not off; he was found guilty of Negli-
gence and Idlenefs, and received both Sentence and Pu-
nifliment.

So that, Ladies, the very Ground of your Security was
the Caufe of his Damnation. He was unprofitable, but
not wicked ; he encreas'd not his Mafter's Stock, nor did
he embezzle it. You pretend you do no Harm, but
confefs you do no Good ; you do not ferve God, and will
not offend him. If this Pretence did not proteft the Stew-
ard, nor ftave oft' the Sentence, why {hall it plead harder
for you ; unlefs perchance the Female Sex has Right
to more Indulgence than the Male ; or that God will
have regard to Qiiality ; or that the Court lies out of the
Verge of his Jurifdidlion?'

But in good earneft. Ladies, Do you no Harm"^. Is it
not Harm to wander from the Cradle to the Coffin in a
Labyrinth of Amufements, either vain or childifh ? Is it
no Harm to tire your felf upon the Concerns of this World,
without fpending one Thought upon the Affairs of the
other? Is it not Harm to play the Prodigals, to lavifh
thofe precious Moments of Time thatcompofe your Lives
upon Balls, Masks, and Drefling ? Perchance Education
has given you falfe Notions of Time; you are ignorant
of its Value ; you are perchance npter to look upon it as
a Burthen, than a Favour, as a Drug that lies upon your
Hands, than aTreafure. Suffer me to difabufe you.

Nothing is more valuable, nothing more precious than
Time, every Moment is worth an Eternity ; the Blifs of
the Saints is but the Reward of Time well husbanded ;
and the Torments of the Damned are the difmal Effeds
of Time mifufed. Dd" you compreh.end the value of
Grace, or of the beatifical Vifion ? This Grace, this bea-
tifical Vifion are the Price of Time. The danmed Souls
can never foften God's Juftice; tho' they weep eternally ;
tho' they groan eternally under the Weight of his Seve-
rity ; and yet in one Moment of Time afliftcd by his
Grace we may cancel the moft flaming Sins, we may re-
I i new

ii6 A Supplement to thejirji Part

new our Claim to Heaven, and return to his Favour;
Happinefs thereibre and Mifery, and both eternal, de-
pend on Time. Yet you do no Harm v^'hen you mifpend
it, nay, when you labour more to milapply it, than God
requires to manage it to Advantage.

How many Wretches fulter in Flames without Pity, or
Interruption? And yet they burn for the very Principle
you maintain, that it's no Harm to trifle away Time.
But, Ladies, Flames have reftored 'em to their Wits, and
brought them to ajuft Acknowledgment of their Error :
They deplore their Miftake with fruitlefs Tears, and
draw from their late Repentance no lenitive but Defpair,
They cry louder for Time, than the unhappy Dives for
Water, and prize a Moment above the Waves of the
Ocean. Would God expofe Time to fale,the Number
of Chapmen would equal that of the Reprobates. How
many Empires would Alexander^ Ccefar, and Mejfaline
give up for one Hour? But, alas, ten thoufand Worlds
will not purchafe a iingle Moment. Is it then no Harm
to faunter away our Lives, and like Children, duck and
drake away a Treafure able to buy Paradife ? In fine, La-
dies, our Death-bed Wifhes that fue with fuch an Energy
for a Moment's Reprieve demonilrate Time has a real
Value: For why fhould it appear fo defirable, when the
moll gaudy Vanities of the World raife Contempt.

Emil. So, Eufeb'tHs has pronounced our Dooms ; we
are already damned in Effigy, nay, and all Mankind in
Emblem and Hieroglyphick. Are you not afraid, Sir, of
being torn to Pieces by the Street Infantry? Do you feel
no Pangs of Compundlion for fuch Anti-chriftian Afler-
tions ? I could no more fleep with fuch a weighty Sin up-
on my Confcience, than I could breathe fifty Fathom
under Water. What, nothing but Hell and Damnation
for poor Mortals after a plentiful Redemption ? But I
fuppofe you ftand off in Generals, and comprehend us
not in your Sentence ; for, I thank God, I always have
an Eye on the main Chance j I am at Peace within, and
take Account of my Time.

Etijeb. Miftake me not, Judicature is the Flower of
God's Prerogative, he alone crowns the Vertue of the
Righteous, and punifhes the Crimes of the Ungodly. I
have not furvey'd the Region of Darknefs, nor perus'd
the ^egifter of Lucifer^ fo that I am ignorant of the

Number

of the Gentleman hflru&ed. 1 1 7

Number of the unfortunate, and unacquainted with their
Perfons; yet certainly if Scripture be the Rule of Good
and Evil, if it points at the Road that leads to Death,
without ftraining the Law of Charity, I may pronounce
the greateft part of our Beans and Bells are in a fair way
to Damnation. For who fteers by that Compafs ? Who
follows that Guide ? Nay, in Defiance of Self-Intereft,
Revelation andReafon too, we cut upon all the Maxims
oftheGofpel, as if it were to be underftood backwards,
and that Vice ftood for Vertue, Vertue for Vice, and
Hell for Heaven. But it feems your Club is not like o-
ther People; your Confciences are ferene without Storm
or Cloud, you enjoy within a fweet Spring, a gentle
Calm, as if the Halcyons had built their Nefts in your
very Souls. You make not a falfe Step from January to
December^ every Thought is feraphick, every Motion
more than Chriftian, every Moment of time is managed
with Thought and Confideration. It's pity Canonizations
are out of Fafhion in England^ you might elfe ftand fair
for a place in the -Calendar. But in good earnefl: is your
Conduit fo irreproachable? Do you allow fo much
Time to God ? So little to Vanity ? Let us try, if you
pleafe, this Point by plain Fa6l : It deferves Attention.

Pray then, Ladies, what is the grand Occupation of the
Day ? Between eight and nine in comes my Lady's Wo-
man, to range in Order and Method all the little Trinkets
of the Toilet. She chuckles together a whole Covy of
Eflences and Perfumes, fhe commands Combs to their
Pofts, Pomatums to theirs, Waflies alamode to theirs.
Here is Contrivance in Folly, and Con fufion in* Order.
One would take a Drefling-room for a Toy-fhop, or a
Mercery of fmall Ware. Nay, I have heard it comparM
to an Army in Array^ for the little Knicknacks ftand in a
military Pofture ; fome are divided into Battalions ; o-
thersinto Squadrons; fome make up the left, fome the
right Wing •, and I have feen a Corps de reserve upon
a Side-board ready for fudden Occafions. A French
Glafs alamode commands in the Corps de bataille ; at
his Beck the Patch-boxes march, Powders and Eflences
advance, Combs enter upon Duty ; and then on a fud-
den, halt, and now my Lady makes her intrado^ and
begins the great Work of the Day. She confults her O-
racle, the Glafs, upon the State of the Health and Beauty ;
I 3 What

ii8 A Supplement to the firjl Part

What Change fince laft Night, Time has wrought in
her Complexion, whether it carries on its Approaches
with Speed ; or whether it draws near the Glacis, and
when probably it may mafter the Out-workt ?

And now her Ladyfhip brandiflies the Combs, and the
Powders raife Clouds in the Apartment. She trims up
the Commode, {he places it ten times, unplaces it as often
without being fo fortunate as to hit upon the critical
Point. She models it to all Syftems, but is pleas'd with
none. For you muft know, fome Ladies fancy a vertical,
others an horizontal Situation j others Drefs l^y the Nor-
thern Latitude, and others lower its Point to forty-five
Degrees. At length fhe comes to the Patches: Here is
plea for Fancy, and room for Invention, no wonder
then if the Operation takes up Time, and calls for Study
and Refle6tion ; it's hard to refolve upon the Number,
harder upon the Size, and much more eafy to billet an
Army, than to affign each Patch its proper Station.
Twelve ftrikes before her Cheeks are inlaid, and her Face
be checker'd alamnde. And when fhe has baited the
Chambermaid, and ftroaked her Lap-dog, in comes Din-
ner ; down file fits, not to eat, but to fret ; one Difh is too
high-feafon'd, another too low; this is too fvveet, that
too four ; the Pigeons are too lean, the Pullets too fat ;
fince her Levee ^ fhe only named God, when fhe told the
Cook, God fends Meat, and the Dei'tl fends Cooks. Here
is the great Concern of the Morning, this takes Madam's
Thoughts, this runs away with her Care, and fweeps a-
way with one half of the Day. Yet fhe does fio Harm^
fhe is thrifty of Time, fhe puts it to Account, thefe
Hours, no doubt, are v/ifely em ploy 'd ; they are laid out
to Advantage, and will fruftify to a Aiiracle.

But now the Evening Employment calls upon her.She
ileps into the Coach, drives to the Exchange in the
Strand \ from thence to Chenffide, and at her Return
ftrikes in at Pater-nofterRow. -In one Place fhe learns new
Fafhions, here fhe cheapens Silks, there China Difhes,
here Perfumes, there Pomatums. She coaches the Ware,
and leaves a Billet for the Reck'ning. Being cleared of
Bufinefs, fhe's fit for Diverfion. She polls therefore to the
Park, where flie fuppofes every one admires her. Some
indeed are fmitten with her Drapery, whilft others pity
her Folly ; but all agree, her Vanity outweighs her Judg-

mcjit,

of the Gentleman hftru^fed. up

ment, that fhe is richer without than within, and that her
Wit fparkles lels than her glorious Equ;page. She makes
the Round, enquires who is come to Town ; who has
ilipp'd aiide into the Country ; who is lately married ;
who lies in , and having diichargcd her CommifTion,
and delivered her Errand, flie rowls Heme by the P!ay-
houl'ej unlefs a Ball or a iecret AflignationdelJre herPre-
lence. This is a Lady's Life in Epiioine, her Employ-
ment m Short-hand. One Day's Work is the Copy of an-
other, and one Year fliews the Praftice of forty.

And now. Ladies, which A(ll:ion of the Day bids fair for
Heaven? which calms your Conicience, and puts you out
of Apprehenfion of a final JViifcarriage ? which diflin-
guifhes the Chriftian from the Pagan ? The Heirof Para-
dife from the Child of Lucifer ? I fancy the Chinefe
Dames, who are Strangers to the Joys and Terrors of
the other World, take the Schem.e of their Lives from
the Plan of yours. They work by your Sample, and
copy the European Original. They while away their
time upon Trifles ; they drefs and undrefsas you do; they
idolize a little Body, that once muft fall in the Grave,
and repair with Artifice the Ravage of the Age ; they
fteer by the Impulfe of Senfe, and follow the Current of
Inclination. Eafe is the Objedl: of their Wiflies, and
Vertue of their Averfion. If the Lives of Infidels and
Chriilians carry fuch a Refemblance, I fear their Ends
will bear the fame Proportion ; for how can they march
on the fame Road, and not arrive at thefome Term ?

Luc. Here is a Libel upon the Sex, and theCharafler
is obliging; but the Picture is taken from Imagination,
not from Life. It's a Dafli at Random ; an Efiay of Wit
to fport the Faculty, and to breathe the Spleen. I per-
ceive you feldom frequent the Church j for did you
vouch iafe to make an Appearance there on the Lord's
Day, you would fee the Ladies in the Pews, as well as
in the Park, or in the Boxes.

Eiifeb. I beg your Pardon, I had almoll forgot the
Sabbath Occupation. Sunday is a Day of Reft, and fo
Ladies ftiand religioufly to its Primitive Inftltution, /'. e.
they confecrate it to Sleep and Repofe ; it's a Day of
Vacation too, and by Confequence the moft proper Sea-
fon for Phyfick. I knew a Lady fick of a chronical Di-
ftemper, that puzzled the Dodlor, and threw the Apothe-
I 4 ca;:v

'i2o A Supplement to the firfl Vart

cary into Fits of Amazement, Its Symptoms were extra-
ordinary, and its Accidents without Prefident ; flie was
in a perfed State of Health and Vigour all the Week,
and always diicompos'd on the Lord's Day ; nay, I was
inform'd fhe difcern'd by the Beat of the Pulfe, a Feaft
from a Feria, without the Help o[ poor Robin. But pray,
Madam, what Motive leads you to Church? Sometimes
you appear to teach, fometimes to learn new Fafliions ;
perchance alfo you have fail'd in the return of a Vifit,
and nothing but an Apology in a holy Place can atone
for the Breach of a Ceremony fo facred. I take it for
granted you difclaim the Quality of a Suppliant ; why
elfe do you difdain the Pofture ? Kneeling is indeed im-
proper, I mean impertinent, for thofe who have no In-
clination to pray : Nay, I fufpe6l, without the Confent
of Queen and Parliament, you have enaded to your
felves the prophane Part of Z)<?r/Kj's Law, of making no
petition to God.

Tell mc ingenuoufly, do you not enter into the Church
as Caligula did into the Temple, not to pray, but to re-
ceive Homage ? Do you not fancy a Place on the Altar
becomes your Ladyfhips better than Silver Candleflicks
or Bafons ? I grant upon Occalions the Fame of a cele-
brated Preacher may decoy you into the Sanduary, and
fo Curiofity fubdues Sloth, and one Vice makes room
for another ; but then his Rhetorick runs away with
your Attention, not his Morality ; you hearken to criti-
cife or applaud, not to learn. In fine, you flock to the
Pulpit as the Romans did to their Roftra^ to hear Ora-
tory, and to fee Declamation, and thus you coach back
to ycur Lodgings. All thefe Sins you carry'd to the Ser-
mon, belides a fufficient Cargo you overtook in the
Streets, or pick'd up in the Congregation.

And as in the Morning you fat down to laugh and chat
with your Pew-fellow.T; fo after Dinner with the Hea-
thenifli Jews, you rife to Flay., the Table-cloth is removed
to make Place for the Cards. Did Gaming keep within
the Pale of a meer Recreation, perchance a Set after the
Evening Service might be tolerated. But, alas! Liberti-
nifm and Avarice have given it the Freedom of theCity ;
it'sereded into a Company as well as the Society of Tay-
lors and Haberdafhers. In a Word, .'tis become a Calling;
nay, a laborious and fervile one too. Ladies toil and

druda;e

of the Gentlemak hftru^fed. 121

drudge at it Day and Night, they give up their Privilege
TO that Remiflion. Lav/s, Ipoth human and divine, have
provided for the bafeft Mechanicks : The very Sabbath
is no Day of Reft and Relaxation to them ; this Trade
goes on, when all other Shops arc (hut, and, to confute
the common Excufe, wedo »o Harm^ fometimesatone
fitting a Child's Portion is truck'd for a fwing on the
Rack, which Lunaticks are pleas'd to call Diverfion.
Lac. Well, and where is the Harm in all this?
Eufeb. Nay, Madam, if this Failure be little in your
Opinion, I fear your Gonfcience will appear lefs. What
Harm to prophane the Church and the Sabbath too ?
Why, it's a Complication of Sacrilege and Infult ; and
do thefe Crimes ftand for Cyphers in your Cafuiftry ? They
ilrike direftly at your Maker, and almoft imply Atheifrn
by Illation ; they wound your Neighbour allb by Re-
flexion, and clafh with Jultice and Nature. For is not
Juftice violated, and Nature outraged, when you card
or dice away a Labourer's Salary, or a Child's Portion ?
tinlefs perchance our £»i^///^ Proverb, the better Day the
better Deed, fandifies the Adlion. Well, I perceive the
Sex is impeccable, unlefs it vaults over the two Tables
of the Decalogue together, or fwallows Sins like Car-
ro way- Comfits, by the Dozen.

The Ladies fate all this while upon the Tenters, and
receiv'd the Mercurial, as they fwallow Pills, with wry
Faces in Abundance ; they broke off the Homily a hun-
dred times, and as often fprinkled the DifcourfewithEx-
poftulation, their Paffion flow'd too faft to be pent in ;
they were neither able to keep Silence, nor to fpeak to the
Purpofe ; and Anger that loos'd their Tongue, fettered
their Reafon. But Etifebius endeavoured to footh 'em
into fome Terms of Moderation ; hedefir'd their Atten-
tion for a Moment, with Aflurance they fhould have time
to interpofe : He protefted that he intended Inftrudlion,
not Satyr, that he honoured the Sex, but fawn'd not on
its Vices. But the Comment upon their .?/<w^^y Behavi-
our fpoil'd all, he might as well have reafon'd down a
Hurricane, or argued the cholerick Ocean into a Calm,
^s complement thefe Females into Silence. Their Re-
fentment had taken Fiie, and all their Paffion boil'd over
with Noife and Tumult. In fine. Impatience ftept into
the Coach-box, and drove their Ladyfhips beyond the

Bounda

122 A Supplement to the Jirfl Fart

Bounds of Decency. Eufebius had read that Non-refift-
ance tames Fury, whilft Oppofition made it ; that, hke
capricious Horfes, it runs fafter when you draw in, than
when you loofe the Reins : He therefore gave Way to
their Sallies, and receiv'd fome Dilcharges of Chafe-
Shot. At length the Humour was drain'd, and the Tem-
pelt ended in Serenity. And, as Topers drink themlelves
Ibber, fo thefe Ladies talked away Impatience, andvex'd
themfelves into a good Humourl

The Storm being over. Ladies, continued Eufebius,
Can fuch a Conduct ftand with the tielicf of an Eterni-
ty ? Can Women throw Time away with fo little Cau-
tion, who are perfuaded their All depends upon the Ma-
nagement of it? Can they put any Strefs upon the Ex-
pectation of future Happineis, who perch with fo much
Eagernefs upon prefent Satisfailions? You would do
well, to face your Prailice with your Profeffion; to ba-
lance what you receive in Hand, with what you expedt
inReverfion; to run up to your Baptifm, and recoiled:
your firft Engagement; for the World is a bewitching
Thing, and without Care it will bubble us, and put upon
us with Trifles, and when once it has got the Afcendant,
'twill foment Ignorance for an Excufe of Liberty ; 'twill
bribe a Man's Confcience, and Subpcsna Reaion againft
himfelf : For certainly its Promifes charm Senfe, and a
prefent Poil'effion tranfports Nature ; but you fhoulJ re-
member that Ratsbane is made with Sugar, and that the
moft fvveet Poiibn is generally the moft fwift and mortal.
Let therefore Health take Place of Pleafure, and fcorn to
die of the childifh Difeale of Liquoriflinefs.

£2(/I4/?a had continued, but Ne(wde>''s Arrival put a
Stop to his Difcourfe. He came to lead him to Theoma-
chus^ the Athcift, and was furprized to fee his Friend in
fo extraordinary an Engagement. I am forry, faid he,
to interrupt your Converl'ation, and muft make a fmall
Apology for my Incivility. But indeed I had rather be
guilty of the Breach of Behaviour, than of my Word. I
promis'd hift Night to condud you to your Adverfary ;
the Time draws near, and he expeds your Appearance.

Eufeb. We Men of Arms are expos'd to Surprizes. I
fell this Morning into an unexpected Ambufcade, and
found my Quarters ftorm'd, before I received any Intel-
ligence of an Enemy. In a fhort time I hope to difen-

gage

of the

Gentleman Injlnt^ied. 1 1 3

::»-age my felf, and to compofe the Buiinefs a /' amiable^
we muit fue Tkeomachus Ibr a Ceflation of Arms till to
Morrow ; and then we'll open the Campaign. Neander
lent his Man with a Letter to Theomachus^ who acqui-
eiced to the Propolal.

In the mean Time, Emilia turning herfelf to Neander ^
fpoke thus. Though J have not had the Honour of your
Acquaintance, I am glad of your Arrival. Your Mein
tells your Birth, and methinks I read good Nature in
your Forehead. Kufehim has trefpafs'd upon our Patience,
he has handled Quality with the Rudenels of a Carman,
and flouriflied upon the Condud of the Sex with Inde-
cency of Application, and the utmoft Strains of Clowne-
ry. Nay, he throws us out of Senfe, and will not allow
us any Tindure of Morality. Indeed his Civility and
Judgment are both of a Size : Providence feems to have
lent you to our Refcue.

Nean. Madam, Her Majefty has not honoured me
with the Dignity of Knighthood, and fo I lie under no
particular Obligation to defend diftrefs'd Damfels. How-
ever your Quality commands my Aflillance, and your
Beauty my Efteem.

The Compliment took to Admiration ; Joy poded
through every Joint, and charmed the Lady into a plea-
fing Humour, She who before fpilt Gall and Vinegar,
by a ftrange Metamorphofis became all Honey, all Su-
gar. She had feen Forty, fo that her Complexion was
in its Wain, her Charms had ftepp'd over the Meridian,
and touch'd Ibme Points of the iVeft : Yet fhe buoy'd
up the Decays of Nature by the Support of Art, and
flung fuch a comely Varnifli on thefe Breaches time had
made, that like Zeuxis (he miflook Life for Impollure,
the Effedls of her Vanity for the Work of her Creator,
and the Relicts of Age for Beauty. Nay, fhe ventur'd
once to confefs in good Company, fifty If ears weigh'd
lefs on her Shoulders, than thirty on her Face. Yes, faid
fhe, whilft my Cheeks wear June, let my Hair put on
Dtcemi^er.

A Compliment therefore fo apropos, fo agreeable to her
Inclination, call the Lady in a Trance, and laid all Re-
fentment allcep. She became lefs untradlable and more
docile, fhe delired to learn not to difpute, but rather to
amend her paft Condud: than to defend it: In EfFeft fhe
heard Eufebins with Attention. This

124 -^ Supplement to the Jirfl Fart

This fudden Change hath often made me conclude,
that Lenitives are more proper for Women's Conftitutions
than Corrofives. They may be footh'd into their Duty,
but not he6tored. A kind Word is more perfuafive with
them, than a llrong Reafon.

After fome Recollection Emilia return'd Neavider a
Complement for his ; and forgot not to infinuate the Va-
lue ihe put upon hi^ Efteem. Then turning loEujebiusy
Sir, faid flie, I undertake not the Defence of Ladies:
None are without their Failings, and fome not without
Crimes : And I confefs that the Number of thofe is lefs
who live up to their Profeffion, than of thofe who difho-
nour it. Some fquare their Condu6l rather by the Gof-
pelof Senfe, than of St. Matthew : And others are better
vers'd in the Art of drefling than of living well. But why
muft the General be lafli'd for the Faults of Particulars ?
""Let the Corredfion and the Diforder go together, and
let thole who carry off the Pleafure of a bad A6lion feel
the Punifhment. Mufl: Lucretm be hooted at for a Pro-
ftitute. becdufe MeJJ'alme call: off Shame? Muft Sufanna
beat Hemp in the antient Palace of Bridewell^ becaufe
Hellen left Menelaus for a Gallant? Or Judtth ftand for
a Fury, becaufe yrz'^f^el deferved the Title ? I hope Wefl-
mififter-Hall Jul; ice is lel's partial than yours, and the Ar-
refts of our Judges better complexioned. We are all,
as I have lai i, liable to Mifcarriage; the belt Princi-
pled trip fometimes: For Nature provoked by Senfe, and
rouzed up by Temptation, is apt to rebel againft Princi-
ple. And then the odds are vail on Nature's Side.
What Wonder if Ladies train'd up in the Art of Beha-
viour overlook the Precep's of Morality, and perluade
People by their Pra<Stice they are better acquamted with
the Civil Virtues of the Court, than the theological of
the Gofpel.

Lzic. Madam, thefe Satyrs rather flow from Paflion
than Judgment; and I always revenge my felfon fuch
Toys with Silence; Contempt blunts the Edge of a keen
Lampoon better thrm Reafon, and no Reply difappoints
the Author, and throws him off the Hinges. In a Word,
Etifebius^s Railing is no credible Qualification, it's a cer-
tain Symptom of adefperatc C^ufe- For who flings Dirt
that has another Weapon at Command ?

Eufek.

of the Gentlemak Inflru6fed. 125

Enfeb. God forbid I fhould follow thofe Sparks, who'
having been the Dupes of one Woman, impeach the whole
Sex as Complices of their Difappointment. No, no; if
fome Women deferve Blame, others cannot be prais'd too'
much: Their Vertues are above Panegyrick, and their
Merits above the Flight of Eloquence or Hyperbole.

Who can read the Book of j^^^/?/;^ without Admiration
and Tranfport ? This great Lady feem'd to be fram'd a-
bov4 the Spheres by the Hands of Angels. Valour e-
quallcd her Beauty, and Vertue topp'd both. She had
nothing feminine but the Sex : Never was Grace better
plac'd than on her Brow; it flafh'd a Aiixture of Charms
and Terror; (he darted Love, and commanded Re-
fpeft: She attack'd a proud Conqueror at the Head of a
vidorious Army, and fubdu'd his Heart with her Face,
to take off his Head with his own Sword. In fine, this
brave Amazon fiU'd the Ajfyrian Camp with Confufion,
and Bethnlia with Triumph. She ftopt the Conquefts of
an ambitious Prince, and the ruin of an innocent City.

What fliall I fay of the great St. Catkarwe, Wealth,
Touih^ and Be mty enter'd into a triple Alliance againlt
her Vertue. Hell join'd Force, and Idolatry Cruelty to
the Confederates Yet fhe defeated their Defigns, and
rais'd a Trophy to her Sex, and an eternal Monument to
her Vertue upon their Ruin, for fhe overcame the Vani-
ty of Philolophers with her Learning, the brutifh Pallion
of an amorous Emperour with her Chaility, and the
Rage of Hangmen with her Conftancy. Flattery could
not bend her Courage, nor W^heels break it : She liv'd a
Chriftian, and died a Martyr.

St. Ambrofe feems to have fpent all his Rhetorick upon
St. Agnc ; yet his Words fall fhort of her Adions; and
this Child did more than Eloquence can exprefs. Her
Piety was above her Age, and her Vertue above Nature.
The Courage of this young Lady over-matched the Forti-
tude o\ Alexander^ and few Men at Threefcore arriv'd
at that Love of God fhe breath'd at Thirteen. Ker Bo-
dy was too litrie to receive the Sword, though not to
overcome it, and altno' fhe v/as too young for Torments,
fhe was ripe for Vidtory. The Spectators trembled whilft
fhe flood unconcern'd, and the Executioner that gave the
Blow fhew'd more Symptoms of r ear, than f})e that re-
ceiv'dit; In fine, fhe fell in the Ccnibat, and v*'eni off

wiih

126 A Supplement to the firft Fart

with Vidtory : For as St. CyprlaK notes, tho' Martyrs
die, tiiey are not overcome, and they are invincible be-
caufe they brave Death. Vinci mn pojfunt^ C5' mori pof-
funt^ l^ koc ipfo ifivicli fiiKt^ quia mori non timent.

The v^^ife Condudl of Clotilda drove Paganifm out of
France^ and rais'd Churches to the true God on the Ruinsf
of Polytheifm. She foftened the Obftinacy of her Hus-
band by Inftru6lions, and polifhed theRuffnefs of hiswar-
hke Vertues, with the Pradtice of Morahty ; and at laft
brought this great Prince from Paganifm, and the whole
Kingdom to Chriftianity. Her menegi Ides owes his Faith
to the Piety of his dear Ingundes^ for he had died Arian,
if this orthodox Princefs had not made him Cathohck.
In a Word, God feems to have train'd up Ladies for the
Propagation of the Gofpel. A Martha and a Magdalen
receiv'd our Saviour into their Houfe, before they let him
into their Hearts; they refreih'd in Bethany his tired
Limbs after the Fatigues of his Fundlion ; and when one
Apoftle betray'd him, and the others abandon'd hira,
Mary foUow'd our Lord to Calvary ; and there durft min-
gle her innocent Tears with the facrilegious Crucifige^s of
the Rabble. When the Apoftles doubted of Chrift's Re-
furredion, flie proclaim'd it without Hefitation; and in
Recompence of her Faith Chrift commiflion'd her to af-
fume the Office of Apoftle to the very Apoftles. Where-
ever God fpread the Gofpel, he provided a Lady to fur-
ther it. Helena planted the Faith in the Roman Empire,
Cccfarea in Perfia^ Gezela in Hungary, Ogla in Rujjia^
Dambrtua in Polony^ and Ethelhurga m Germany. In all
thefe glorious Enterprizes Ladies led the Fan, whilft Men
only brought up the Rear. They marched only upon the
Traces of thefe great Heroines ; and brought through the
Barriers of Flefh and Blood, when they had paved the
Way by their Example.

Lideed fuch noble Inftances of Vertue are lefs nume-
rous in our deprav'd Age, than in the Days of our Fore-
fathers. Yet many Ladies draw their Lives by their an-
tient and moft admir'd Originals ; I could name fome
of Figure and Title, v/lio live in this World like People
who knew they muft live eternally in the next. They
are meek without Sheepidinefs, affable without Afredta-
tion, referv'd without Diffimulation, and great without
Pride. They reconcile the Highnefs of their Rank with

the

of the Gentleman InJiniSicd. 127

the humble Principles of their Profeflion, they difpute
the firft Place without Vanity, and ftoop to the loweft
without ttepping an Inch below their Station. Here is
Scripture in Pradice, and Perfedion in Life and A-
(ftion.

Nean. Pray, Ladies, let this Panegyrick atone for the
Satyr ; if Eujebius has ftruck the Sex with one Hand, I
allure you, he ftroaks with the other; he dafhes the
aigre with the doux, and handfomely mingles Reproof
with Inftrudion : He has Balms to heal, as well as Gau-
fticks to blifter ; and when he has breath'd a Vein, he
clofes the Orifice with a Swathing-band. In a Word, he
has knocked his own Libel on the Head, and, like the
Scorpion, is both Pbifon and Antidote.

Emtl. Good Nature is come upon him, and his Breed-
ing is return'd to the Cure ; he fpeaks now like a Gen-
tleman as well as an Orator, and I promife him a fine
Audience, if he'll preach in the Pulpit upon the fame
Subject.

Pray, faid Neander^ turning himfelf to Eufehiui^ fa-
vour us with the Caufe of our Ladies Misfortune ; for
I call it a Misfortune to deviate from the Rule of their
Profeflion, and to fruftrate the very End of their Crea-
tion.

Eufeb. It's indeed a Misfortune, but almoft univerfal j
it's fpread over the whole World, and afteds the whole
Species. £/«/7/« has touched the. Caufe, ill Education:
This is the fatal Source of their Mifery, the true Origin
of all their Failings. Young Ladies are brought up as
if God created 'em meerly for a Seraglio, and that their
only Bulinefs was to charm a brutifh -uliaK : One would
think they had no Souls, there is fuch a Care taken of
their Bodies: That God had enafted a Salique Law as
well as the Fretjch, and excluded the Sex from the Inhe-
ritance of Heaven.

The feven Years of Inflmcy are fpent meerly in the
Entertainments of Senfe ; they are yet fuppos'd unfit for
Inftrudtion, and fo their little Paflions fprout up without
Check, and increafe without Controul. But, under Fa-
vour, though in an Age lo tender. Children cannot be dif-
ciplineJ by Reafon, they may by Senfe: For I cannot
fee why their Pafnons are not \a a Capacity of being
mpderated, fo foon as they are in a Condition of being

excited,

1^8 A Supplement to the firft Part '

excited, for though they are not ripe for Precept, the^
are for Fear, Menace, and Garelies ; and thus we fee
the Nurfe oftentimes frowns and fawns the moft fro-
ward Infants into a gopd Humour. Some Reftraint
therefore fhould be put upon their diforderly Propenfions
even in this Non-age ; for if you fuppoie a Child to be
a Brute at Seven, and treat him meerly as fuch, in all
Probabihty you will make him continue fo till Ten.
But alas! this timely Care is quite forgot; little Mifs,
like Mamma's Lap-dog, is carefs'd till flie is fit for no-
thing but to play or fleep. The little Creature muft
fleep on Silk, and feed on potable Gold. Like a Bartho-
lomew Poppet fhe is wrapt in Gold and Silver, and pra-
d:ices Vanity before fhe knows the Sin.

So foon as Reafon begins to fparkle, Mifs is led into
the Dreffing-room ; fhe is taught the great Myftery of
the Glafs, and all the important Secrets of the Toilet.
Which Wafli clears the Complexion, which conferves,
and which repairs it. Thefeare heceflary Prolegomena's,
or Prcecognita to the Science. A Man may as well be a
perfeft Mathematician without the Knowledge of any^»-
gle or Circle, as a Lady can be a Graduate in the Philo-
fophy of the Dreffing-room without thefe Pojlulatums.

For Beauty being the chief Obje6l of a Lady's Care,
fhe muft help Nature with Art, and polifh the Work of
the Omnipotent with a French Wafh; fhe muft fence it
againft the Aflaults of Heats, the Excurfions of Pimples,!
and the dangerous Inroads of the Small-Pox. She muft,
in fine, expofe her Life to fave her Complexion. And
then to mould her Shape to the Court-Standard, what
Pains does the Mother take on the one Side, and what
a Martyrdom does the Child undergo on the other? Her
Feet are condemn'd to the Scotch Boot., and her Body
to the Torment of the Prefs. She is pen'd up in Iron,
and forc*d to trail her Perfon. Befides, the poor Crea-
ture is put to a fliort Allowance of cold Water, or tied
up to a Pittance of Barley-broth, and muft keep a con-
tinual Lent in Spight of our Statute-Book. One would
think Hunger was a Propriety of the Sex, and Fafting
the topping Qualification of a young Lady ; her Mother
will not lufFer her to grow up to her Joints, nor to have
all the Flefh and Bones God defign'd her. And thus (he
is rack'd without and within for the Satisfaction oi Ma-
dam^

•df the Gentleman Inftrucfed. up

tliim, and the whole Body is facrific'd for Shape and Co-
lour

And now Mils leaves the Nurfery to ply at the Dan-
cing-School, and to finger the Guitarr, or the Virginals;
and VI hen (lie has maftei'd a Minuet, and an A\x /i la-
mode ; when (he can pradlife a Brace of Grimaces, and
wave the Fan, Good God! how Mamma Titters ; (he
is now fledg'd for the World, and fets out for Company.
But {he mulL beware of Refervednefs, and fence againft
a Blufh ; for thefe are Country Vices, Symptoms of Ru-
flicity, Ctimes againll Breeding, and the Freedom of
the Town. She is :her-fore taught a qualifying Em-
bcli.Oiment in the Court Dialed:, call'd /^Jfurance^ in the
Cl'inltian Co>.pJeKce ; and thus {he mortgages Modefty
for Behaviour, and alnioft robs the Woman to equip the
Lady.

In the mean time. Age comes upon her, Paffions get
a Head, Temptations follow without Number, Defires
without Bridle, and Vanity without Check. She is a
Stranger to the Doftrine of Self-abnegation, and unpra-
ftifed in the A4ethods of Refiftance : She knows not
what it means to baulk Appetite, nor to fubdue Senfe to
Reafon. She has been fet up by the Another for a little
Goddefs, and the Family adores her like a Houfhold Di-
vinity. The Frowns of this little Creature raifes Storms,
and her Smiles fair Weather; you mufl no more crofs
her, than offend thofe Stars, that in the Pagan Theology
rain'd Tempefts on the Heads of thoie who difdained to
falute *em.

What a Tragick- Comedy did I behold atmy Lady Z).*3
I thought Folly could not rife to fucli a Height of Extra-
vagance. A'lifs had the Misfortune to be baulkt in a chil-
difn Enterprize ; the Houf-) rung immediately of the Dif-
appointment, all was in an Uproar, all in a Confulion:
The Violence of the Paflion calf the Child into a Fever :
The Mother's Pulfe beat by the Daughter's, and becaufe
Mifs was difcompos'd, good Mamma took Phyfick;
and to carry on the Farce, the Chambermaid breath'd a
Vein. I fancy'd my felf in Z>af//?«'s Ifland of Dreams, and
that what 1 fa'v was Vilion and Revery. For how, faid
I, can Folly fi-r.-nn fo far? Bedlam is unacquainted with
fuch Sc-enes of MaJnefs, with fuch Flights of Farce and
Comedy: Had the vixen Humour been frighted away
- K with

1 30 A SuppLHMEKT to the firft Part

with a little Severity, the Fever had withdrawn, and
Birch would have wrought the Cure more efficacioufly
than Phyfick, or Bleeding by Proxy. Thus Education
adds Biafs to Natyre, and makes the Temper of Chil-
dren more rugged, inftead of polifhing them.

Belides, Mifs is notonly milled by the Fawning of the
Mother, but too often poifon'd by the Example of her
Maid. If Betty hirs a Gallant, fhe is the Depofitary of
her Secrets, flie enters into the Intrigue, and is inform'd
of the Rife and Progrefs of the Adventure. Her Apart-
ment is the Place of Allignation and Rendevouz, and by
Confequence'fhe is Witnefs of all thofe Follies that wait
on Love between Perfons, whofe Paflion is greater than
their Conlcience. Such Spedlaclesftain the Imagination
of Children, they carve Devils in the Brains of thofe,
yet innocent Angels ; and tho' at prefent they make no
great Impreilion, they will in time cut out Work for her
young Ladyfhip. They will awake the Fury of Love,
and throw Fuel to this fiery PalTion, for fuch Sights, like
the Italian Poifons, work fome Years after they are ta-
ken. The Memories of Youth are extreamly tenacious,
and if they are fuliiedwith an indecent Objed:, will re-
collecl it till at lafl they tranfcribe it.

Now wbilft the young Lady makes fo fair a Progrefs in
the Science of the World, fhe is a meer Ignoramus in the
School of Heaven: Qiieition her about Religion, flie is a
Stranger to the Language. One would think fhe dropt
from the Moon, or had been train'd up among the Ca-
fres : She can fcarce diftinguifh a Church from a Syna-
gogue, and knows no more of the Gofpel, than of the
Talm:id or Alcoran. And indeed, poor Creature ! How
fhould file be inftru(5ted, but by immediate Revelation ?
The Credcncla of Chriflianity are not infufed by Nature,
and the Ji^enJ.i too are in great Part convey'J to us by the
Senfes. Now who takes Care to inftill thefe Principles
into young Ladies ? The Mother has too much Work
on her Hands to undertake a new Employment, the Of-
fice of Catechill is below her Level, it*s too pedantick
and ferJous for a Perfon who afFefts Ignorance, and dotes
on Mirth and Levity. Befides, fhe fancies her Obliga-
tion only reaches the Body, that the Soul lies out of her
Jurifdidtion ; that if fhe fits the Child for the Court, or
the Town, Ihe difcharges the Duty of a Mother.

Now

of the Gentleman Injiructed. 131

Now if my Lady forgets the moft important Point of
Education, will Beny remember it ? If the Mother, like
the OJlrich, abandons her Young, and flies into the Wil-
dernefs, will the Maid be more careful? Alas! perchance
ibe is as little vers'd in the Catcchifm as Mifs, and knows
no more from whence flie came, or for what end fhe was
placed in the World, than a Child in the Cradle. And
altho' fhe were able to inftru6l, there is no depending on
her Will. Servants are mercenary, they have an Eye
on their own Advantage, they drudge for their own In-
tereft, not their Miftrefs's ; and by Confequence to wind
themfelves into their Favour, they entertain 'em rather
with Things that pleafe, than with thofe that profit.
They are, in fine, a Race of Infefts that bask in the
Sun, and cannot live without the Heat of their Ladies
Favours.

Now what can be expected from a Woman brought
up in Eafe, Luxury, and Vanity on the one Side, and in a
total Ignorance of Religion on the other? From a Wo-
man flufh'd already in all the gaudy Amufements of Va-
nity and Diverfion, and quite a Stranger to any future
Expedtation ? Whovvill bridle Paffion without Reafon?
Or forego a prefent Satisfaftlon without fome Profped:
of a future? To fport down the Stream of Inclination
is pleafing ; but to row againft the Current is a fatiguing
Employment. Now no Man will tug at the Oar with-
out either the Hope of a Salary, or the Fear of a greater
Punifhment. For Pleafure without Torments in Re-
mainder, is in moft Men's Opinion preferable to Vertue
without the Expe61ation of Reward. Having therefore
fo faint Invitations to Good, fo powerful, fo bewitching
Allurements to Evil, we muft not wonder if Ladies fol-
low thofe Imprefiions, if Vanity over-rules Duty, and
criminal Amufements run down Morality. Thus cquipt
young Ladies are configned to Husbands: They change
their Subjedlion, but not their Principles. With their
Portion they bring all the Extravagancies of their Child-
hood, and feldom refign 'cm but with their laft Breath.
The firll Education finks deep, and in time tvv'ifts its
felf wit 1 Nature : You may v;itli as much Eafe wafhan
Ethiop: L white, as preach an ill-principled Girl into a
vertuous Wom^an. Here is the Caufe, Ladies, of your
Misfortune, the Origin of your Diftemper.

K 2 Emil.

132 A Supplement to the jirji Fart

Emil. Well! you have fearch'd the Wound, I hope
you will apply the Remedy. Who knows the Caufe of
a Difeafe, cannot be ignorant of the Cure.

Eufeh. My Profeflion makes me unfit for the Employ-
ment. However, a Lady's Delire is a Command, and
requires Obedience.

DIALOGUE IV.

Ladies mujl a-void the Objlacles to Vertue.

£»/e^. "Y" O U R Duty, Madam, branches into two
-■- Heads. You are a Chriftian, anda Mother.
Thefe Relations call upon you ; God has placed you in a
Station that requires a double Care, and you muft extend
your Endeavours to the difcharging of both ; for if you
fail in one, you betray your Duty, and your eternal
Happinefs into the Bargain.

I.

That you may adi the Part of a Chriftian with a Plau-
dite^ let your Thoughts dwell continually on this great
Principle, That you are bom for Heaven^ a^d that this Life
is but a jhort P^^ff^igc to Eternity. It^s but a Flux ofMo-
Tiient that will end. It' s a Stream that difembogues into
an Ocean., vjithout Bottom, vjithout Limit. It's not fuffi-
cient for a Pilot to know for what Place he is bound,
when he firft weighs Anchor, and hoifts up the Sails j
no, he muft carry it continually in his Thoughts, and in
his Eye: This Influences every Turn of the Stern; did
he once fors^^et the Term of his Voyage, he would wan-
der on the Ocean at Random, and never reach the de-
lired Haven. Paradife is our Country, the World a Sea,
and our Anions mult waft us over to that fortunate I-
fland. Now, how fliall we follov/ the Rule, and touch
the Blefled Point, unlefs we daily confider under what
Degree of Latitude it lies? The Prophet Jeremy threw
all the Mifcarriages of the Jewifh People upon their In-
confideration. The Earth lies defolate^h^shc^ becaufc no
Man will take the Pains to enter upon the Confi deration of
his Duty, And I fear the Miferies of our prefent Nobi-
lity

of the Gentleman Inftruifed. i ^^

lity fpring from the fame Fountain. Our Forefathers
have handed down to us this unfortunate Negligence,
and it has improved in the Journey. For did we feri-
oully refledl, that we are born in this World to live eter-
nally in another, and that our Vertues v^'ill be rewarded
with Glory, and o,ur Vices with Fire; fhould we tire
our felves in the Purfuit of things meerly indifferent,
and criminal? Should we, like Children, fet our Hearts
uponObjeds, not only trivial, but bafe and contempti-
ble, and truck our Souls for a Rattle? I fay, like Chil-
dren, for what is the difference between them, and our
high-flown Mortals ; but that thefe deal in Money, Pa-
laces, Plate, and Diamonds ; and thofe in Babies, and
Hobby-horfes : So that at beft, if the Folly of thofe is
moreexpenfive, the Childifhnefs of thefe is more inno-
cent.

II.
The Dodlrine of Chrift muft be your Guide, you mull
follow that Road he has plained by his Example, and
Points at in the Gofpel. As he has promifed the Reward,
fo he has annex'd the Conditions, and we mull make
good thefe, before we can lay any Claim to that.

Now the firft is, that we withdraw our Affedlions from
this World. Love not the Worlds fays he, its Maxim.s
are dangerous, its Converfation infedlious, and its Em-
bracements m.ortal. Under the Appearance of a Friend,
it raasks Treafon, and under the Diiguife of Pleafure,
real Torments; it dafhes Honey with Gall, and throws
over Poifon a palatable Relifli: Its Principles clafh with
Chrifl's, and therefore you are warned to break off all
Correfpondence on pain of forfeiting God's Favour.
Whoever is a Friend to the World is God'' s lL*se,}iy. In
effect Chrift reads Leffons of Humility in almoft every
Leaf of the Gofpel; the World preaches up Pride, and
magnifies Vanity. Chrift commands us to contend for
the loweft place, the World for the higheft ; to pleafe the
one, we muft feat our Neighbour above our Heads, and
we muft throw him under our Feet to content the other.
III.
Now there being no Mean between thofe two Ex-
treams ; no Place for Neutrality ; will a reafonable
Creature paufe one Moment to what Side he muft go
K 5 over ?

134 ^ Supplement to the firft Part

over? Whether Intereft lead him to join with our Savi-
our, or to take up with the World his Enemy ? The very
Dehberation is no lefs fcandalous, than to debate, whe-
ther youfhallapoftatize from God, for a Correfpondence
with the Devil J or deprive your felf of a real Satisfac-
tion in this World, with Heaven in Reverlion, for Mi-
fsry traveftied, and Hell in Remainder ?

For think not. Madam, that the Followers of Chrift
muft foi'fvvear Pleafure, and give up their Pretenfions to
prefent Satisfaftions. Though their Defires lodge in Hea-
ven, God antedates their Blifs on Earth; and gives 'em
in Hand an Earnefl: of thofe Joys, they will poflefs here-
after. For let me tell you, the Friendfhip of Heaven,
the Senfe of our Miftakes, and the Pardon of our Sins
are traniporting Prerogatives. Is it not a Pleafure to
contemn the Vv^orld ? To be above all fijblunary Trifles?
And to be a Slave to nothing? Is it not a charming Sa-
tisfa(5tion to have a clear Confcience ? To neither dote on
Life, nor to fear Death ? Thefe are Delights above all
the fmooth Senfations of material Organs : And befides,
they lie out of the reach of foreign Accidents, they are
always at Hand, and coft us nothing.

IV.

Now what are thofe fine Things the World offers, and
we fo eagerly fly at ? They are good in fhew, and evil
at the bottom ; they are poireft with Fear, and loll with
Regret; tj:ey pamper Senfe, and rack Reafon: For,
in fine, the/ are all reduc'd to Concupifcence of the
Flefh, Concupifcence of the Eyes, and Pride of Life, i. e.
to Ser.fuality and Honour: Thefe make up the World's
Riches, and our Torment: Thefe are the Bleflings fo
much talk'd of, fo much adored, fo dearly bought, and
loft fo eafily : And yet they are a meer Sound, a Name,
and nothing. Let us defcend to Particulars.

V.

•

The Concupifcence of the Flefli takes in all thofe Plea-
fures that cajole Senfe, and end in Brutality ; and what
Effedl do they v/ork upon us? Why they glide upon
the Organ, they print a fmooth Impreflion, and lay us
upon the level with Animals. So that all we dare ex-
peft from fenfual Satisfadfions is, to be made miferable
■ Men,

of the Gentleman hfint^ied, 135

Men, and happy Beads. Now, methinks, a Man's Brains
muft be ill placed, who pawns Confcience and Keaven
for a Prerogative, lb ill-favoured and abafing.

VI.

Let us fuppofe the moft exquifite Fowl of the Air fly
to your Table: That France, Italy ^ and Spain furnifh
you the moft excellent Wines: What can Tafte delire
more? Yet when once Nature is fatisfied, the eating is
no more a Pleafure but a Torment, p'or to feel the Sto-
mach overcharged, the Body difabled, and the Fumes of
Ragoos in the Head is no great Satisfadlion, unlefs
Excefs changes our Conllitution, and turns Pain into
Pleafure, and Health into a Burthen. In fine, the De-
light flafhes away in a Moment, and the Surfeit fticks
by us a Fortnight: It preys upon our Vitals, and if it
does not choak 'em, it's fure to diforder 'em j and after
ends in a Winding-fheet.

Indeed, Hearing is not fo pleafant a Senfe, it rather
Courts the Soul than Storms, and if the Pleafure it con-
veys be lefs boifterous, it's generally more innocent: But
however, it's too airy to be durable, and too fleeting
to be relied on. For, what is it but a Perception of
mov'd Air, that beats upon the Tympanum-, and gently
drums upon accuftick Fibres? And can any thing be
more unmanly than to build our Happinefs on fo weak a
Foundation ? Belides, this Pleafure is fhorter lived, than
thofe Animals that cannot out-live one Day. I have
feen the fame Hand that charm'd the Company the firft
Hour, tire it the fecond, and thofe very Stroaks that at
firft railed Tranfports, in the end grated upon the Ear,
and became troublefome. Indeed this Pleafure is lufci-
ous, but it gluts in a Moment, and, like Sweet-meats,
breeds a Surfeit. Now, methinks, a Man muft put a
mean Valuation upon Chrift to leave him for a Touch
upon an Inftrument, and a faint Idea of future Tor-
ments to be fiddled and mufick'3 into Hell.

Do not miftake me ; I am not for tying Damnation
to an airy Sonnet. I know we may regale our Ears with
a Ragoo of Italian Symphonies, without tlie Penalty of
eternal Weeping; for I have told you, the obliging of
this Senfe is more foolifli than criminal. But however
the Effeds are dangerous, for Mufick has a ftrange Af-
K A cendant

I $6 A Supplement to ihefrji Fart

cendant over our Paflions ; it heats and cools 'em, it ruf-
fles and tranfports'em, it moulds and faPnioriS 'tm to any
Figure; it awakes the Fury of Anger, and conjures up
the Devil of Love : And thefe two Fiends drive full fpeed
to Hell and Damnation. Caution alone fa\'ed Ul\Jfes.
He would not truft his Vertue with a fine Voice ; nor his
Philofophy with a warbling Donna Margarita ; he rather
chofe to refign the Pleafure of a Sola, than to fufFer the
Misfortune of a Shipwreck ; and would not barter his
dear purchafed Herofhip for a Song.

It were to be wifh'd our Gentry of both Sexes carried
Wax in their Ears as well as this Heathen General ; their
Occafions often exaft the Precaution They fteer be-
tween the Rocks, and Syrens lie in Ambufcade to infnare
'em. In thefe Circumftances the leaft Overfight is mortal;
if we don't keep at a Diftance from the Whirlpool, we
ftiall be fuck'd in by the Eddy. How many, for want
of Care, have fplit upon the Quickfands? Was not Ma-
dam l-F. plaid out of her Reputation, and violin'd into a
Match below her Quality ? And how many Gentlemen
have been fung out of their Innocence at the Play-houfe,
and Mufick-Meetings ?

Tho' therefore Mulick in its felf be innocent, it's often
fatal in the Confequence, and ftrikes us at Rebound. And
this is enough to roufe up a Chriftian's Care; where
Duty obliges him not only to avoid downright Sin, but
the very Tendency to it.

But alas ! the Poifon lies not only in the Notes, the
very Words carry Infedlion : They are foft and amorous,
and either blame Honefty, or provoke to Debauchery ;
they either perfonate the Defpair of an abandon'd, or the
Triumphs of a luccefsful Lover. Now what is this but
Stratagem to fet ill Humours at Work, and to make foft
Rhime a Conveyance to Deftru6tion? And indeed fome
Songs exprefs fo lively ill Practice, that it's not eafy to
dillinguifh the very YzGt from the Reprefentation. And
fo the Minftril inftills all the Difeafes of Rage and Love
he counterfeits. It's true, the Tongue prefents the Poi-
fon, but the Ear drinks it, and both are guilty; for the
difterence of the Organ makes a fmall Alteration in the
Adion^ In fine, Ladies, fuch Madrigals are only fit to
be fung by the Devils, and to be heard by the damned.

VII. The

of the Gentleman Jnflruded. 137
VII.

The other Obflacles that Hand between us, and the
Compliance with our Duty are the deluding Pageants of
worldly Felicity ; fine Sights, a glorious Retinue, and
fwelling Titles. Now what is all this Appearance but a
Scene of Vanity ? That Philofopher was not miftaken,
who faid. That the juft Value of Things are known by
their End, as Men by their Faces, And if we take the
Dimenfions of all human Happinefs by this unerring
Scale, how thin, how little, how contemptible will it
appear even to purblind Reafon ?

Tho' we fuppofe it conftant to our Intereft, that it
waits upon us to the Grave, we then muft take leave of
it, and bid adieu to all thofe Objeds that dazzled our
Eyes, and led our Hearts captive. Nothing will be per-
mitted to pafs with us into Eternity, but our Vertues
and our Vices: Thofe to refrefh, thefe to torment us.
God pronounc'd the Sentence of Death againft the whole
Race of yldar/i ; and tho' upon Occafions he has difpenfed
with other Laws, this has and will remain inviolable.
The moll evident Principles have been queftion'd by
fome, and deny'd by others ; all Errors have found Abet-
tors, but I never read of any Man fo extravagantly
foolifh as to doubt of Mortality. The Church-yards
proclaim this Truth, the mavhle Maufolea's of Princes di-
vulge it, and our dead Parents in a Mute, but emphatick
Language, tell us, we muft follow. In fine, it^s decreed
that all Men miiji die. Seeing therefore all worldly Hap-
pinefs will once expire, and perchance, even when we
expe£l no Alteration ; what can it deferve but Scorn and
Contempt ? How can that be called a Happinefs, that
ends in Mifery, and will be follov/'d by Repentance?

Nay, the Manner of leaving it is oftentimes far
more miferable than the End it felf The great Antio-
chus.^ when Profperity ran high, forgot he was a Man :
'Vidlory waited on his Standards, and Succefs crown'd
his Enterprizes: But if his Felicity was ftupendious, the
End of it was no lefs amazing. This glorious Prince fell
firft into a mortal Adelancholy ; thena loathfome Difeafe ;
his Bowels glow'd with a raging Fire; and every Mem-
ber that had contributed to his Pleafure, increas'd his
Torment. He call'd upon Death as the fole Remedy of

his

138 A Supplement to the firfl Part

his Difafter, and doted on that fatal Moment he once
trembled at. All the Treafures heap'd up by Rapine,
were unable to purchafe the Cumber of an Hour. His
corrupted Carcafs exhaled fo infupportable an Infedtion,
that he was a Burthen to his Friends, and a Hell to him-
felf. Thus he breath 'd out his wretched Soul in a Tem-
peft of Rage and Defpair, and died rather the Objed of
Companion than Envy.

What fhall I fay of Nero, Vitellius, and Andromcus ?
They faw the World at their Feet, and fparkling Diadems
on their Heads; they v/ere rather worOiip'd as Gods, than
ferv'd as Men ; yet all this Glory ended in Outrage and
Infamy: Thefirll fell by his own Hand ; the others by
the Cruelty of the enrag'd Mob, that rather ftudied to
torment thofe unfortunate Princes, than to butcher 'em.
Could Women mount higher than Jezahel^ or Cleopa^
tra ? The one gave Laws to an opulent Kingdom, the
other to an Empire ; both fwum in Pleafure, and were
almoft over- fet with Profperity. But alas! their Gran-
deur, like the Ice of one Night, melted away in a Mo-
ment: The Babel of their Greatnefs funk under its own
Weight, and buried 'em under the Ruins. The firft was
prey'd upon by Dogs, and the fecond fell by the Sting
of a Viper. What reafonable Creature would take thefe
Peoples Felicity together v/ith their Mifery ? Who would
lead their Lives, and undergo the Cruelty of their Deaths?
Can any thing more clearly evidence the Bafenefs of
human Greatnefs, than thefe fudden Turns of For-
tune. So that the Carthaginian Captain nov/ mortally
wounded, when he faw the World behind him, and
Death before him, had Reafon to read his furviving Bro-
ther this feafonable Lellbn. To Pride, dear Brother, in
Greatnefs, is a pompous Folly; high Commands Hand
expos'd to mighty Chances. Thebeft built Fortune muft
yield to Hazard, or fubmit to Time: Nothing is certain
in this Life, but Death. What am I the better for having
fubdued Provinces by my Valour, and butcher'd Armies
in my Fury? I feel at-prefcnt that Violence others have
felt from me. What vaft Defigns you rowl in your
Brains? What Sieges? What Victories? But alas/ all
this is glorious only in Idea, great in Fancy, and nothing
in it felf but Vanity: Read your Deftiny in mine; and
remember, that tho' you efcape theStroakof Violence,

Nature

of the G^^^tLiMkn lnflYu6ied. 13^

Nature will put a Stop to your Atchievements. Here is
Spirit and Heat, Pathos^ and Emphajis, and, what is
more. Truth upon Experiment: And yet this Man was
no St. Paul in a Pulpit, but a Pagan-General in the
Camp : He had but an imperfedt View of the future Pu-
nifliments that treads on the Heels of great Felicity.

VIII.
If you will not ftand to the Judgment of a Pagan, I
will put the Iflue of the Caufe upon your own. But I
muft firft feat you in a Region above thofe Mifts that
darken Reafon, and biafs the Underftanding; and what
Place more proper than the Death-bed ? Let us there-
fore contemplate your Ladyfhip in this Pofture ftrug-
gling with a burning Fever, without Strength, without
Vigour, ready to leave all Things, and to be abandon'd
by all. Your Head burns, your Heart pants, and
the Violence of the Diftemper hurries Pain into every
Artery. You turn your felf into a thoufand Poftures ;
but though you change Place, your Torment fol-
lows. Your Bed of Down gives no Eafe, nor can your
whole Eftate buy it. We will fuppofe. Madam Lucia
• runs through all the Arguments of the Stoicks, and mar-
fhals up all her Eloquence to raife your drooping Spi-
rits. It's in vain, dear Emilia^ to ftruggle againft Mor-
tality, there is no Recipe in the Difpenfatory of Phyfici-
ans againft Death ; it's a Debt we owe to Nature, and
it mull be paid, iiut at leaft you will leave behind an
honourable Memory ; you have a£ted a topping Part,
and you go off the Stage with Applaufe. Every one
does Juftice to your Merit, and even thofe who envy
your Fortune, confefs you deferve a greater. The La-
dies admire your Wit, the Gentlemen your Beauty, and
all, your Breeding. Z>r)'if« has eternized your rare Per-
fection- in Verfe, and your Name together with your
Titles ftand at the Epytle Dedicatory in Folio ; fo thut
when you die, you will live by Proxy, and your Fame
will furvive the Coffin. Will fuch an atheiftical Homily
put an irregular Fulfein Order? Will it heal a wounded
Confcience ? Alas ! Madam, the Elogiums of the Living
make weak Impreflions on the Souls of the Dead. Tho'
I praife Cleopatra's Beauty in all Company, will fhe be
lefs miferable ? Becaufe I admire the Power of Semira-

r/iis.

'i4o A Supplement to the firft Part

mis, will my Wonder extinguifli the Fire and Brimftone
that eternally confumes her ? Will Cropfus be Rich, be-
caufe I magnify his paft Treafures ? Will /tlexander be
at Eafe, becaufe I commend his Courage? Or Sardana-
palus in Pleafures, becaufe he was once happy ? Poor
Creatures! They underftand themfelves and their fad
Condition too well to receive Flattery, and are too em-
phatically miferable to be refrefh'd with the Remem-
brance of paft Follies. Thofe that are laugh'd at by rlie
Saints, and tormented by the Omnipotent, find fmall
Satisfaftion in the vain Huzza's of Fools or Sycophants.
U^hey are praifed where they are not, and are tortured
vjhere they are.

And to come home to your Ladyfhip, give me the
Freedom to put you this Queftion. When you find your
felf upon the Brink of Eternity, will the Remembrance
of your quondam Pleafures open a Profpe61 of Joy, or of
Repentance.? Will you ratify your pail Conduit, or de-
plore it with Tears, or perchance with all the Pangs of
Rage and Defpair? Will not worldly Happinefs, you
once rated fohigh, fall low in your Opinion.'' And will
you not wifh rather to have contemned the glittering
Vanities of the World, than to have enjoy'd 'em .'' For,
in fine, Madam, you will then acknowledge a Truth
you have now no Inclination to learn ; that your Bufi-
nefs is not to be great, but good; not to make a Fi-
gure here, but hereafter. Let me therefore conclude with
the wifeftof Men ; Beauty and Complexion are vain^ but
a Woman that fcareth the Lord jJjall be praifed.

And now, methinks, I have faid enough to pcrfuade a
reafonable Creature, that the dazzling Prefents of the
World are painted Nothings, varnifli'd Impoftures, and
gilt Illufions. That tho' they fmooth the Brow, they
are too fuperficial to fill the Heart, and rather fafcinate
than delight j and yet thefe Toys are the only Barriers
that ftand between us and Heaven. Could we but once
heartily fall out with 'em, and regard 'em as Snares ra-
ther than Favours, Virtue would be planted without
Labour in our Souls; it would grow up almoft without
Pain. But whilft our Hearts cling to Earth, our De-
fires cannot fly higher. They relifh nothing but Co-
lour and Surface, and ftudy -to oblige Senfe, and to gra-
tify Paflion. Hence flow 'thofe Sins that ftab the Soul,

and

of the Gentleman hftruBed, 141,

and lead it to Perdition ; that cut off our Right to
Chrift's Promifes, and give us over to his Manaces. If
therefore you intend to hve up to the Gofpel, you muft
break off with the World. This is the firll Step to Ver-
tue, a neceffary Prerequifite to a holy Life ; for Sin and
Vertue can't lodge together.

Emil. You have held forth upon Love mt the World
to the Purpofe, and have lafh'd Grandeur, Wealth, and
Pleafure, likea Galley-flave. But, methinks, you have car-
ry'd Invedlive too far, and flourifh'd upon Vanitas Vani-
tatum beyond Meafure and Juftice. For if what you
fay be true, Chriftianity pens up our Liberty in a nar-
row Compafs, and our Pleafure in lefs ; and then how
Ihall we reconcile that Freedom Chrift purchas'd by his
Death, to that Slavery you impofe? Did God create the
World to tantalize us ? And {hew the Beauties of the
Univerfe merely to throw us into a Fit of Longing ?

Luc. Let him tall:. Madam, Chrift's Religion is Ca-
tholick, our Creed is pofitive ; it is not cut out only for
'Job's and Lazarus's, but for Kings and Empreffes. Why
therefore muft we difmifs our Equipage, or commence
Apoftates? Will you have Ladies turn off their Coaches
to walk in Pattins, like Milk-maids and Oyfter- women?
Muft they melt down their Plate, and make over their
"Jointures to the Blue- Boys o^ Chrtjl- Church ? Under fa-
vour. Sir, Chrift is neither Leveller nor Tyrant. Not
one Text in Scripture ties Sin to Silks, nor Damnation
to Sattin ; we may glitter in Silver here, and fhine in
Glory hereafter.

Enfeb. I have indeed enlarg'd upon the Text, Love not
the iVorld^ but when the Enemy is upon the Coaft, it's
time to fire the Beacon. Is not a Caveat feafonable,
when you are within an Inch of a Precipice? Our Savi-
our has thunder'd a thoufond Woes againft the World
and its befotted Lovers; he cautions us againft its Charms,
both in Parable and Precept ; and yet in Spight of his
Command we run into its Embracements, and pawn
Heaven for Trifles. Methinks Warmth and Severity too
are very warrantable on an Occalion io preffmg and ex-
traordinary. If a Merchant put upon your Ladyfhip
Brijfol-Stones for Emerauds, or ^^/?/Ve-Glafs for Dia-
monds, would you frown upon a Friend for difcovering ■
the Cheat ? The World impofes upon y9u counterfeit

Coin

142 A Supplement to the firft Fart

Coin for Sterling, Tinlelfor Gold, and imaginary Hap^
pincfs for real Satisfadlion. I have laid openthelmpo-
fture, and you complain I am too hard upon the Decei-
ver. Is it fo obliging a Civility to prote6l your Purfe,
and fo clownifli a Service to fave your Soul? Are Guineas
fo precious, and Souls fo contemptible ? fo cheap ?

You Hand upon Chriftian Freedom, but you ftretch
the Prerogative too far. For tho' Chrift has knockM off
your Chains, and freed you from the Slavery of the De-
vil, he has not exempted you from the Subjection of his
Laws: No, Madam, you live v^'ithin his Jurifdiftion,
though you take a ramble to the Indies ; and you muft
obey his Command, or pay for the Tranfgreflion. Your
Liberty, therefore, though great, is rellrain'd by Chrift's
Grant, and your Freedom is incumbred vv^ith Provi-
foes.

Nor did God create the World to tempt our Vertue,
but to polifli it for our Ufe, not for our Vanity ; and
furnifh'd this noble Apartment for our Paflage, not for
our Dwelling. Ufe then the World, and love it alfo ;
but, as Men do Phyfick, meerly for Health. I would not
counfel Ladies nor Lords to eafe themfelves of their Mo-
ney, as old Crates did, but then they muft not over-
look all the Laws of Nature to fwell their Stock ; they
muft not circumvent and counterfeit, nor dafh Things
out of one Nature, and brew 'em in another. They
muft not ufe light Weights, and falfe Meafures, and
haggle away Confcience for a Penny, and Heaven for Six
Pence: They muft not rack Tenants to feed Luft; nor
pay their Lackey's Service with Baftinado's, nor their
Chamber- Maids with ill Language.

If you remember. Madam, I told you at our laft Inter-
view, you might alfo eat wholfome Food, that you might
fleep on an eafy Bed, and wear good Linen; that you
might fometimes grace the Boxes with your Prefence,
and air your Body either in Coach, or on Foot. But
then Chrift forbids you to run ftark Mad after thefe A-
mufements, to devote all your Time to Diverfion, and
not a Moment to your Duty. He forbids you to fleep
cut the Day, and to dance out the Night, to lead the
Lives of Bats, or Screech Owls. In fine, Madam, you
may allow the Tafte fweet Meats, and the Eye fine
Sights, provided you truck not your Soul for the Satif-

fadtion.

of the Gei^tleman Jnjim^led. 143

fa6lion. Let Senfe fometimes play ; but then be fure
Reafon ftands upon the Guard, and keeps it within the
Bounds of Moderation. For thefe animal Faculties are
wanton and craving, and if left to tliemfelves, they'll
vault over the Pale of Law and Duty, and wheedle in the
Heart to follow their Ramble. This is St. P<2a/'s Caution
in 2 Cor. chap. vii. Let thofe who have l^'ives^ be as if
they had none : Thofe thai weep, as if they did not weep: Thofe
that rejoice, as if they did not rejoice : Thofe that buy, as if
they pojfefs nothing; and thofe that ufe the Goods of this
World, as if they us'd them not. That is, though thefe
•worldly Objeds afFeft the Senfes, they mult not touch
the Heart, this rnuft ftand above their Reach, and be
Proof to all their Solicitation. It muft, like the Sun,
that gilds the very Mire without being fullied, pafs thro'
thefe killing Vanities without catching the Infedtion.
Now this being fo, we are not fo confin'd as you ima-
gine; we have Liberty to be merry, tho' not to be
mad ; and I fuppofe this Abridgement is no Breach of
our Magna Chart a.

Neand, Methinks, Ladies, Eufebius is orthodox. He
feems neither to tie up our Senfes too fhort, nor to give
'em too much Line. He keep within a juft Mein be-
twixt Severity and Indulgence, and neither fets Appetite
at large, nor the Gofpel upon the Rack. It's the Abufe
of worldly Pleafures he blames, not a moderate Ufe :
this ftands with Chrift's Law, and is prafticable too. If
we keep a heavy Hand over Senfe, and upon Occafions
refufe it thofe Diverfions that are lawful, we may eafily
withdraw it from thofe that are forbid: But if we leave
it to its felf, and lay the Reins on its Neck, we fhall find
our felves in a Precipice. For whoever turns Nature
loofe, makes the pleafing Senfations of Senfe her End,
and ib becomes a Lady of Pleafure. Now this Epithet
in the Senfe of our modifh Dialect founds harfh and fcan-
dalous, and indeed in the more vulgar Acceptation it
grates upon the Ear, for they are often incident ; for that
Lady who makes Pleafure her Bufinefs, will catch at any;
and if an innocent one comes not in her way, Paffion
willfuggeft thofe that are innocent : And then how can
we perfuade our felves that flie who lives for Diverfion
will refufe the Occafion ?

EmiL

,144 ^ SurPLBMENT to thefirft Part

Emil. You have remov'd the Obftacles to a Chriftian
Life, pray inform us now in what this confifts, for I per-
ceive we live under pofitive Precepts as well as Nega-
tive ; and as Chrift forbids fome things, fo he com-
mands others.

DIALOGUE V.
They mujl praSice Humility and Modejiy^

I.

Eufeb. ^^Termtati Piff^o, faid once a famous Painter.
-^-^ Let our Defign in every Adlion look as far.
Why fhall the Expedlation of a vain Applaufe work
more povi'erfully on a deluded Pagan, than the glorious
Promifes of our Almighty Saviour upon Chriftians ? E-
very vertuous Aftion, as St. Bernard notes, pafles, but
does not perifh ; it's a heavenly Seed, that dies for a
time to revive in Eternity.

n.

Regard each Day as the laft, and behave your felf rrs
if you fliould not fee to Morrow. The Reafon why we
manage fo much Time ill, is, becaufe we always fuppofe
we have too much on our Hands to husband well. We
build upon the Future that lies out of our Reach, and
by Confequence is not at our Difpofal ; nay, and per-
chance never will ; and thus we leave our Souls to
Chance, and trull Hazard with our Salvation. Whereas,
did we perfuade our felves we were upon a Removal,
we fliould lay up fome Treafure for our Journey, and fend
Vertue before to prepare our Lodgings. For our Recepti-
on in the next World will anfwer our Behaviour in this.
IVhat vjefovj in our Lives, uie f}j all reap after our Deaths.
If Vice, Torments; if Vertue, Pleafure.

in.

The Piety of a Chriftian confifts in V/crks, not Words :
And therefore we fall fliort of our Duty, tho' we Ipeak
well, if we live ill. delta was continually upon the To-
pickof Vertue ; flie forced its Panegyrick upon all Com-
pany,

of the Gentleman hjiru^kd. 145

pany, and pour'd out irs Encomiums at Random in all
Converfations. One would have thought {he had Curam
AnimarHm^ and that half the Ladies of the Court were
her Parifnioners in fpight of the Curate of St. Martin's
or St. "J antes' i. I confefs her Devotion appear'd to me
more alfeded than real. I thought it had more Flame
than Fire ; and that fhe harangued in Jeft, becaufe {he
feem'd fo much in Earnell. But Authors were divided up-
on the Queftion; for fome without Appeal to \h.Q Rata
were for canonizing her, and a pious Sifter would needs
remove Si./lmbrofe^ to find her a Place in the Calendar.
What a precious Soul is this, cried {he ? Good God! Her
Tongue trots fo fail Heavenwards, her Heart muft needs
gallop after ! in fine, {he fpeaks the Language of Siorsy
and therefore mu{l not be of the Seed of Canaan.

But after all, this Lady's Devotion was mere Sound,
with a Dafh of Mein and Grimace. Her Anger was vio-
lent, and her Vanity extream. She never baulk'd one
Pa{rion, without gratifying another; and if fhe praiftifed
a Vertue, 'twas to make room for a darling Vice. Had
{he fpoke lefs, and done more, {he had come nearer the
Mark of her Profeffion. Yox ^s Naz'tanzen obferves, A
•vertuuzis ABion.^ though mute^ is worth a Folio of Rhetorick
without Effed. Run not into this Folly. The Tongue of
an Angel, without the Heart of a Seraphin, is infignifi-
cant ; ir may indeed procure fome Repute in a Female
Congregation, but will not gain one Grain of Glory in
Heaven.

IV.

In all your Adlions feek God alone, and never make
your felf a Slave to the Applaufe of Men, Hypocrify and
Dillimulation are always increditable, but in Matters of
Religion monftrous to a Sacrilege: To fweat in this
World, and be tormented in the next ; to labour with the
Saints, and burn with the Devil";, is frenzy. Yet, alas !
how many are found Saint without, and Fiend within ?
W^ho cloath Vice with the Robes of Vertue, and io walk
in a Road to Hell, whilil they pretend to march for
Heaven. Cynthia fet up for a Saint of the firft Magni-
tude; but fhe built all her Piety upon Hypocrify. She
Took her Plan from the P bar i fees., and modell'd her Con-
duit by their Practice. She was a moft rigid Ge»evian ;
firft fram'd by Baxter^ and then pohfh'd on Bridget'^

L Anvil.

ij^6 ^.Supplement to the firft Part

Anvil. She had the turn of the Eye in Perfedion, and
topp'd the Twang of the Piedeltinate. Nay, lome fay (he
coiiJd wind a Church o^ Engl at: d Lady fevenfcore, and a
Papiit a Mile at lead. She pray'd in de la Sol Re, and
groan'd the Family into a Quartan Ague: And what is
ftrange, this holy impulfe feldorn came upon "her but in
Company. She conihmtly read Scriptuie at ihe Win-
dow, and at lall became a Nuifance to the Neighbour-
hood. 1 never heard her, but 1 fancy'd my felf in Betb-
lem, at a Lecture of Oliver's Porter. She continually
harp'd upon the Baptill's Exhortation to the Jews, and
iigh'd out. Repeal ! Repent ! with an Emphjjis. Good God !
faid I to my felf, what Farce, what lllufion is here ?
to corrtcl .Sin with Pride, and preach Repentance with
Hypocriiy is amazing. Now all this Grimace run upon
Interclt. The Lady bad a Month's Mind to hear Mr. B.
prone upon her heavenly Gifts in the Congregation.
And indeed he fpent his Lungs, and laid out a world of
Ccu/[, and myllical Jargon upon the Subjedl. But this
was not all, aVeli-meaning Brother of the Godly Party,
had an Impulfe to pair only in tke Lord. He was brim-
ful of the Spirit, and well ftock'd with a Creature Men
call Gold. He was more inquifitive for a godly Yoak-
fcllow, than a beautiful one; and priz'd the Wealth of
the Soul above all the vile Trinkets of Fortune. Cynthia
put in foi tb.e Bigot. The good Man bit at the Hook,
and her Grimaces gain'd her twenty thoufand Pounds,
and in time cofi: him as many Curfes. T-Ier Voice was
y icob's, but (he had the Hands o( Efau. Her Piety car-
ry'd a fair Appearance, but under the Mask lurk'd Dif-
fimulation and Intercil. Though flie ftole the "good
Min's Purfo, flic pawn'd Confciences ; and confequently,
the Gain did not balance the Lois; and what is w^on-
dcilul, ihc pretended by the fame Legerdemain to lay in
as good a Stock for Heaven, as Ihe had for the World, and
to over-reach Ciod, as fhe haij wheedled the good Man.
Wtll, faid I, Confcience, I fee, is pliable, and Inte-
reft can force it, like Proteus, into all Shapes. Thus
we make Partiality the Scale of Virtue, and every
interelled Sifter has Midas's P'aculty of touching every
thing into Gold. Pray, Madam, elpoufenot this Lady's
Morals, her Cafuiftry is too indulging, and obliges our
viciou? Inclinations too, much to come up to the Stan-
dard

of the Gentleman lnflrit6ied, 147

dardof Chrift's. He will have the Heart as well as the
A(5tion, and will not go halves with Intereft; if you
drudge for temporal Profit, you defeat all Pretenfions to
eternal. Nay, if you obferve Chrift's Law upon fuch
bale Views, you will be call out of Heaven with Hypo-
crites that !ranfgrefs it. Our Saviour commands us to
keep our Piety to ourfelves, and to confine it to Darknefs
and Secrecy. Nay, when we fall we mull perfume our
Head, powder our Hair, vamp up our Complexion, and
upon lo extraordinary Occafions, Ladies may be per-
mitted perchance the ufe of Waihes, to conceal from
the Eyes or' Iviea liiis Mortification. Vertue, like Glafs,
is eafily fullied i a Word oftentimes tarnilhes its Lultre,
and a Look, like the Eye of a Bafilisk, murders it.

However, omit not a good Deed out of an Apprehen-
iion of being difcovered. This would be to Itretch Cau-
tion too far, and to keep up to one Precept by the Breach
of anothei. For though our Saviour in one Place recom-
mends Privacy, in anofher he orders us to be vertuous in
Publick for £.dification. Let ''em fee your good l^'^urks^
and let ^em glorify your Father which is i» Heaven. Gre^
gory the Great, in Matth. xiii. handfomely ^reconciles
thefe Texts, that feem to jarr; let our Actions be pub-
lick, but let our Intention be iecret ; that at once we may
edify our Neighbour by our Example, and by our Inten-
tion to pleafe God alone, wilh it were private.

Let therefore your Devotion have no Tin61;ure of
earthly Views ; let it aim at God's Honour, and your
Soul's Salvation -, and if you purchafe Heaven, you have
crown'd your Labour. But in the mean time, fear not
to ftand up for Virtue, and (hew you are in earnelt by
your Pradlice : So many go over to Vice, and fo hearti-
ly carry on its Interell, it's nectilary for the Friends of
Godlinefs to make fome Provilion againft the Allaults of
fo prevailine^ a Party, and lo convince the Wojld, Virtue
is not quite forfaken. Now who are more proper to raifs
Virtue, and humble Vice, than Ladies of Quality ?
They are expos'd to the View of the Vulgar, and re-
ceive Homage and Inccnfe, like the old Female Deities,
from their Inferiors; they aie aped by the Sex of a
lower Rate ; their Fafhions, Mien, Gefture, and Car-
riage are copied by Citizens Wives and Daughters, and
thefe Pretenders to Politenels, glory in the very Follies of
Li a I,yady.

148 A Supplement to thefrji Part

a Lady. Now feeing you have fuch an Afcendant over
them, vi^hy may you not lure 'em to Godlinefs as v\'ell as
to Vice? Why may they not fall in Love with your
ch* ill'::n, as well as your worldly Deportment, and fafhion
their Conduit by yours, as well as their Commodes ?
Virtue in Embroidery is more amiable than Vanity in
its moll dazling Equipage ; its Charms are attractive ;
and when once People are convinc'd they may be fine
without, and rich within ; that they may live great and
innocent too, it's odds^ they'll rather chufe to live gen-
teelly and pleafantly with a good Confcience, than like
Reprobates with a bad one. And if once Virtue be fa-
Ihionable among the Ladies, it may in time be alarmode
among the Gentlemen alfo. For, with thefe, their Ap-
probation is a kind of Law almoft as inviolable as thofe
of the Medes und Perjia-/is : And Men will rather fuffer
a Reltraint, and clap Nature under Hatches, than pur-
chafe a petty Satisfaction at the Rate of a Lady's Dif-
pleafure. I'hus, becaufe Women have an Aver/ion to
a tempeftuous Converfation, and Itart almoft as much at
a Hector's Oath, as at the Report of his Piftol ; no Man
ef Breeding will any more fwear, than duel in their Pre-
feiice. Now if a Principle of Civility can bridle one
Vice,, why can't it filence another ? And thus. Madam,
you may become an Apoftle without the Labour of
preaching ; for Example moves more than Homily,
* Though it be lefs clamorous.

V.
Humility is the Foundation of all Virtues, It's the
Gate of Religion, primus RcUgionis introitus^ fays Cy-
pria» ; and he deferves the Name of Infidel, who is un-
faithful to this favourite Virtue of (lod made Man. To
lay that Ladies have no need of Humility, is to fay the
Sick have no need of Health, nor the Indigent of Sup-
port. It's neceOary for all, but Ladies cannot be faved
without it. For befides the common Infection of Pride
they inherit from their firft Parent, what additional In-
creafe do they receive from other Quarters? Quality and
Equipage warm the Paffion; Flattery and Courtfhip
quicken it; and the innate Propcnfion of the Sex it felf
lets it afloat. And when fuch a multitude of Channels
feed the Humour, what wonder if it fwells over the
Hanks, and bears down Virtue together with Reafon ?

Indeed

of the Gentleman Inflru&ed. 14^

Indeed to Hand on Tiptoe upon fuch trifling AdvaMa-
ges, is an evident Mark of a ftrong PafTion, or a v^eak
Judgment ; and I eafily perfuade my felf, that Ladies
would ftoop lower, did they but take the Pains to conii-
der upon how groundlefs Pretenfions they fly fo high.

Your Father bore Title and Efcutcheon, but was not
your Mother a Chamber-maid ? If lb, I would defireyou
not to fcrew up your Quality too high ; for, like the
Dutch Coin, it's only half Sterling. You are a kind of
Mulattoe^ European on the one lide, and Savage on the
other; /'. e. a Compound of Gentleman and Spinflrefs.
What is here that deferves an over- weaning Conceit?

But though your Blood has run from Hedor and Ak-
dromacbe^ thro' an undefiled Channel into your Veins,
manage the Advantage with Modefty, and do not mag-
nify it beyond Proportion. For after all, this refined
Blood, if tried in the Laboratory, will prove tainted up-
on Experiment; and an Alchymift will draw as fine Spi-
rits from that of a Dairy-Maid, as from that of a
Duchefs. Could our Anceflors make over their Virtues
by Will; could they fettle upon their Defcendants Senfe
and Merit, together with their Titles and Lordfhips ;
brave Progenitors would be a great Privilege. But alas !
' Thefe towering, thefe ennobling Prerogatives are meerly
perfonal ; they are incommunicable Perfections, and nei-
ther defcend to Heirs Male or Female by Right of Gift.
Believe me. Madam, noble Minds, and mighty Digni-
ties, go not always together. I have often feen Wit in
the Coach-box, and Folly in the Coach ; Beauty in
Linfey-woolfey, and Deformity in Sattin; Merit in the
Maid, and none in my Lady. Now, methinks, Quality
waited on by the whole Retinue of Title and Equipage,
being neither the Purchafe of our Induftry, nor the Re-
ward of our Merit, (hould not work upon our Vanity,
nor fwell our Prefumption. We {hould rather thank Pro-
vidence for the Favour, than Pride in the Gift ; for, in
fine, we have no more Reafon to look big upon the Mat-
ter, that a Genet in embroidered Harnefs.

But if your Parts and Quality are not of a Piece, if
this raifes you above the common Level, and thofe throw
you below it, you are only indebted to Nobility for the
Poft of a Scaramouch^ to divert your Inferiors, and to
be Ico.m'd by your Equals.

L 3 And

ijo A Supplement to the fir ft Part

And as for Equipage and Attendance, tho' it makes a .
g:;udy Shew, at Bottom it's rather trivial than lignifi-
cant, and has more of Appearance than Reality. For
it only argues either fome Credit, much Money, or more
Vanity. Now thei'e Advantages are of a bafe Alloy,
and they muft be gazed on through ftrange Glafles to
appear confiderable. Madam P's Credit run her in every
Merchant's Book, from the Exchange in the Strand^ to
that in the City. She waded Chin-deep, but by Mif-
fortur>e, tho' Credit enter'd her Name in fo many, it
•was unable to crofs it out of one; fo that it had been
greater, had it been lefs. For, in fine, flie run on Tick,
till fhe funk her Purfe with her Credit, and then fhe
curfed her Merchant's Credulity, and her own Folly.

Money indeed has fome Charms, it feeds Vanity, and
cafls a fparkling Varnifli over Peafantry and Meannefs ;
but alas! this Lui^re is borrow'd, it's a meer Glow-
worm Light, that dazzles more than it warms ; it comes
from Fortune, not from Nature or Complexion ; it gilds
the Outfide, and fports upon the Superficies, but leaves
the Infide as naked as it found it. In fine, it makes Peo-
ple often worfe, but feldom better, and gives 'em the
Opportunity of playing the Prodigal or the Mifer.

But nothing enlivens Womens Pride more than Flat-
tery and Courtfhip ; and yet what can be imagined more
filly ? They are fo over-charged with Prefumption and
Self-love, that they believe themfelves Miftrelles of all
thofe Perfections, Brain-fick Lovers^ or fawning Syco-
phants are pleafed to aflign 'em ; and fometimes miliake
a plain Satyr for a Panegyrick, and grow big of Con-
ceit for being lampoon'd. The Queen Straiomca had
not one Hair on her Head, and yet flie gave a Poet fix
hundred Crowns for comparing it to a Violet, The Com-
parifon was new indeed, and the Analogy fo far fetch'd,
that it comes not within fight of Senfe. But liowever, the
Lady -admired the Difcovery, and became fo exceffive
proud upon the Compliment, that her Violet Hair ren-
dred her more ridiculous, than none at all. P'or by a
Vanity fo ill-grounded, and fo unreafonable, fhe gave
the World a Demonftration her Scull was as bare with-
in as without, and that her Brains did not out-weigh
her Locks one Grain. But tho' a Lady fliould be gra-
ced with the Hair of Aurora^ wiih the Eyes of Venus ^

the

of the Gfntleman hijlrntfed. iji

the Majefty of Jufjo, and the Feet of Tketls^ (to fpeak
in the Foeiick Jargon) alas! what is ali this but Vanity
and Impofture, but' Mire gla?:'d ovtr wiih Snow, but an
Idol of Fools, or a Flower that opens and fades, that
exhales Perfumes and Stench the iameDay? What Lan-
guage can reach the Extravagance of thole who rate
themfelves upon fo inconfiderable Advantages ? They
are diilemper'd beyond all Lunacy of the Mad-houfe,
and fhould be tied up to Diet, and confin'd to Darknefs
and Difcipline.

But to take down thefe Ladies Stomachs, and to bring
their foaring Thoughts a Point lowsr. I would defire 'em
to take a Turn in the Church-yard, and to try whether
they can diftinguifli the Soul of a Princefs from that of a
Kitchen-wench ; whether the Afhes of Dives are better
qualified than thofe of Lazarus ; or tiie Bones o( Cxfar's
are made of more noble Ingredients than thofe of Pea-
fants ? or (left fuch a melancholy Sight {hould work too
much upon your Complexion, and fright you into Con-
vulfions) fling av^ay a Vifit upon Madam S. (he was
once the Town Beauty, the Life of Meetings, and the
Lady. of Ma)'. She rated her felf, not by the Pound, but,
like Diamonds by the Caract, and was fo extravagantly
fond of her little Self, that flie fancied her Body a Com-
pound of the fifth Element, all Celeftial, without Drofs
or Matter. But a Confumption has tam'd her Pride,
and fetch'd down her towering Conceit. She is in Ex-
tremity; fhe runs, poor Creature! through a Courfe
of Fain ; flie confumes "by Inches, and lofes her Blood by
Drops, She read me, 1 allure you, a more emphatical
Leflbn of Vanity than Solumon^ and convinc'd me,
Women muft be mad to be proud. This Death-bed
Figure is certainly an humbling, tho' a moft inftruftive
Sight, and would Curiofity lead Ladies fometimes with-
in Profpe(ft of fuch Scenes, I conceive, the Price of Fe-
male Perfections might fall. For, in fine, to fet in fo
black a Cloud, to withdraw with Convullions, to gooff
with Deformity, and, like a Candle, to vanifh in Stench,
is a mortifying Rebuke to the Dignity of human Nature.
Look therefore upon all the Goods of Fortune and Na-
ture, as the meer EfFe(fls of God's Liberality, not of
Merit. That they are only lent, not given ; and by
Confequencc call rather for Gratitude than Pride.

L 4 Keep

152 A Supplement to the firjl Fart

Keep your Rank among the great Ones, and difdain
not to ftoop to the Peafant, when Charity commands.
Hate Flattery as a Plague, Hypocrify as Poifon, and a
bafe Complaifance as meer Apery. Speak ill of no Bo-
dy, praife feldom ; but never your felf.

Lofenot Sight of your Faults, nor depend upon your
Virtue. This is God's Work, thofe folely your own. En-
deavour to be pious, but never think you are fo. And
tho' you hve up to the Height of Chriftian Perfedion,
fuppofe you are only at the Bottom. We may fin by
efteeming our felves too much, but cannot by valuing
our felves too little. And to put Nature to the Blufli,
pradife upon Occafion fome publick Adlonsof Hurhili-
ty. For Example ; you may feed the Poor with your
Alms, and ferve 'em with your own Hands. Tho' fuch
Adlsarelow, they are not mean: And they rather enno-
ble Dignity than degrade it. The great Emprefs Helen
appear'd taller on her Knees, when fhe wafh'd the Feet
of poor Women, than when fhe fat in her Throne ;
more glorious when fhe xviped them with a Towel, than
when file rode in a triumphant Chariot; and more great
when fhe ferved at Table the devout Virgins at Jerufalem^
than when (he commanded in Rome or Conjlaminople.

Why may not Ladies alfo fometimes favour an Hofpital
■with a Vilit, aswell as the Play-houfe? An Hour would
be better fpent in this Theatre of Mifery, than in that
of Dlverfion. Here you learn Humility, and pracftife it ;
and although you leave an Alms behind, you carry away
the iVIerit. At Paris I have feen the topping Ladies of
the Court, in l" Hotel Dieu, help and comfort the Sick
with great Charity. They refrelli'd thofe poor Creatures
not only with Words, but with Cordials and Juleps. I
could wifh the Mode would fail into Kn^Lwd. It edifies
I am fure, and would become Quality, and fit as genteel-
ly on Ladies, as French Funtanges. For, in fine, a Chri-
ftian Submillion is the Top of Gallantry, and gives a
greater Luftre than Equipage or Efculcheon. To fland
above the Vulgar in Rank, and below 'em in AfFt(5b'on,
to be efteem'd by others, and contemn'd by our felves,
is to abandon the Sentiments of Nature, for tbemofl re-
fined Morals of the Gofpel.

VL As

of the Gentleman Jnjiru^ed. 153
VI.

As Humility regulates the Inteiior, fo Modefty difci-
plines the Exterior. This is the Index that marks the
Motion of our Soul : It dilcovers the Situation of our
Paffions, and tells us whether they obey the Empire of
Senfe, or of Reafon. For Providence ieems to have de-
figned the Face not only for Ornament, but for Infor-
mation. Nay, the Soul flies into our Behaviour, and
we can read its Inclination and Diiguft as legibly in
our A<ftions, as Phyficians the State of the Body by the
beating of the Pulfe.

Thus Gregory of Nazt^^zen faw the Diforders of Ju-
lianh Soul in the Irregularity of his Carriage, and pro-
nounced him a Runag&de before he had apollatiz'd from
Chriftianity.

I fliall not confider Modefty in Oppofition to Wanton-
nefs: This would lead me too far; but as it's defined by
Ze»o the Scienceof decent Motion, i. e. as it polilhes the
Exterior ; and cut off all thofe Exorbitances that render
our Converfuion ofFenfive, or lels chriflian. I know in-
deed St. IPaul commends it in this Acceptation to all; but
tho' it reaches the Mafculine part of our Species, it con-
cerns more properly the Feminine. And it's no more e-
ftcem'd a bare Ornamenr, but a Propriety of the Sex. So
that a Woman difcarded of Modefty, ought to be gaz'd
upon as a Monfter. Let her be fet off with all the other
Embellifhments of Art and Nature, fo long as Boldnefs is
read in her Face, this Vice alone will eclipfe her other
Perfe<5lions, and like a Cloud over-caft all the glittering
Beams of Beautv, Wit, and Dignity.

Nor indeed is it any Wonder that Modefty is fo much
the Right and Intereft of the Sex. For this is the Argus
that guards their Treafure againll all the Attacks of Sur-
prife or Impudence. When Brennus with his vidlorious
Army enter'd Rome, the Gravity and Majefty of the Se-
nators aw'd the licentious Soldiers into fuch a Refpeft
and Reverence, that not one, for a long time, durft ap-
proach 'em. And I believe a Lady well ftock'd with
Modefty, may look upon the loofe Defires, and keep at a
Diftance the Attempts of the moft impudent Aflailant.
For certainly true Virtue has more Authority than Affec-
tation, and a Chriftian Refervednefs, than a Stoical Se-
verity. When a Town is well provided within, and

ftronglv

IJ4 ^ Supplement to the fifl Fart

ftrongly fenced with Out-works, a vidlorious General
has Icldom the Courage to attempt the Siege. The Ex-
pence, the length of Time, the Lofles, and in fine, the
Uncert;iinty of Succefs, fcare him from the Enterprise j
io that he wheels off to the lefs fortify'd, as of more eafy
Conqucft. Our Gallants feem to follow the fame Me-
thod ; they are fo far from tempting a modell Woman,
that they can fcarce dare look her in the Face ; her
Countenance and Air rather fright Paflion than excite it.
They conjure down impure Love, and raife Rcfpedt and
Eileem. In fine, flie is fo encompafled with Modefty,
there is no making an Approach, and by confequence no
Profpedl of Succefs ; and this Diffi'^ulty cools the molt
fiery Lull, and difcourages the moll violent Senfuality.
No Body but Afmodxus himfclf will attempt to violate
fuch a Saniluary.

But when they efpy a Lady without Refervednefs ;
who is endued with many attrailive Qualities, and has
nothing that awes, no Out- works that guard her Virtue,
they are tempted to ftorm her Conllancy ; and if {he
lends a patient Ear to the Encomiums of her Wit and
Beauty, if fhe ftays to receive the Attack, fhe is in Dan-
ger of being at Difcretion. FO|r, in (liort, this Remiilhefs
is a kind of Capitulation ; it's a Mark the Defendant is
prefs'd, and then follows a Surrender : So that the Ne-
eelTity of this Virtue ought to awake the Care of Ladies,
and quicken their Endeavours to purchafe it.

Now if you ask me what it is, 1 have anfwer'd with
Zeno^ it's The Science of A^'cent Motion^ i. e. it's a Mix-
ture of Gravity and Sweetnefs, that ftamp Piety on the
Behaviour, and mike the divine Tranfports of the Soul
fparkle in the very Eyes ; it reaches every Part of the
Exteriour, and guides our whole Comportment Abroad
and at Home, in our Clofet, and in Converfition ; in
fine, it plants Virtue upon the Forehead, and draws De-
corum upon the Exteriour.

But by Gravity, I unJerftand not a morofe Sournefs,
nor a ftarch'd Behaviour. The firft marks ill Nature,
the fecond Pride and Aftedatlon. I would neither covmfel
Ladies to make wry Faces as if they were taking a Dofe
of Coloquintida^ nor walk as if, like Baribnlnmew Pop-
pets, they mov'd by Wire. This is not Modefty, but
downright Grimace, and has more, of the Mimick than

Vinue.

of t^^ G ENTLEM A N hijiniHed, 155

Virtue. The one frights, the other raifes Laughter. Keep
within a Mean; Extreams are vicious; extraordinary
Geftures are as unbecoming, as antiquated DreiTes.

But be fare to take care of the Tongue. This is an
infolent Member, and needs all the Precepts and Intlruc-
tions of Moderty, to be kept within the Compafs of De-
cency.

Pretend not in Company to Wit; you will certainly
betray your Judgment Women feldom appear more
foolifli, than when they afpire to the Glory of being
thoughtwife. Good God ! how was I plagu'd t'other
Day with the Impertinences of Madam//, flie comment-
ed upon /Irijlutle^ and ledlur'd us upon the Sumtm of
Thomas Aqu'tnas. She fcorn'd the Female Topick of
Modes and DreH'e?, and was for danciiig on the high Ropes
oi Phyjicks and Divinity. We were firft regal'd with Ma-
teria Prima ; then came up a Di(h of Occuh Qualities ;
and at laft a whole Plate of Theological Terms were
flung among the Company. It was ab impofPible to fton
her in this learned Career, as a Ship under full Sail, and
you might have fooner filenc'd a Hurricane, than have fet-
ter'd her Ladyfhip's Tongue. The Sex admir'd her Wif-
dom, and the Men fmil'd at her Folly. She has made
a Provifion of School Jargon, and laid it out with much
Prodigality, and more AHlirance. But all her Knowledge
ftuck on the Superficies of Words, flie enter'd not into
the Senfe. So that the Fame of her Parts (hrunk under
Experience, and this Phcenix of Women prov'd only a
well taught Parrot.

Beware of too great Talkativenefs, a Fault incident
to the Sex, and extreamly offenfive in Converfation. It
favours of BoMnefs, and is a great Intrenchment upon
the Liberty of Company. She who monopolizes the Dif-
courfe,filcnces the reft, and allumes the Qiiality of Mi-
ftrefs; and fo keeps School, without Licence, in plain
Contradi6tion to our Statute Book : Nay, and what is
more, a Pythagorean School, in which other Ladies, like
Pupils, undergo the Penance of Silence, whilft fhe enjoys
the Satisfadlion of Speaking. This is, I think, a little
impohng, and flie who offers her Company upon fo hard
Conditions, deferves to lead the Life of a Reclufe; for
few Ladies will go to the Price of the Purchafe. Free-
dom of Speech is as undoubted a Prerogative of a Female
lileeling, as of the Houfe of Commons. In

156 A Svi^PtiuEi^r to the firft Pari

In Converfation you muft fuppofe all are not of the
fame Opinion ; bear therefore a Contradidlion with Calm-
ncfs and Moderation; and be not too kind to your own
Errors. Infallibility is neither an Appendix of Nature,
nor of Grace : Women may fall into thofe Millakes by
Surprise or Ignorance, without any Abatement of their
Parts, they cannot vindicate without Diftionour. So that
it's more prudent, as well as more modeft, to confefs a
Fault, than to defend it with Eagernefs and Paflion. O-
ver-rate not therefore your own Sufficiency, for tho' fome
Diamonds are faid to be above Price, Merits are not.
Fancy not your Underftanding moves in a higher Region
than other Peoples ; or that you muft neceflarily be wifer,
becaufe more beautiful or noble. Believe me, Madam,
thefe Qualities are not the true Standard of Know-
ledge : A fair Frontifpiece is no infallible Sign of well-
furnifh'd Rooms. The Infide may be poor, tho' the Out-
fide be rich : And I fuppofe the Walls are not ftronger
for being ancient.

Little Love-Intrigues oftentimes are the Subjefl of Wo-
mens Difcourfe ; and generally People are paired by jny
Lady before they are join'd by the Parfon. It's a great
Breach of Modefty almoft to know fuch things, and
Boldnefs to throw 'em into Converfation. For the Laws
of Decorum are fo fevere in regard of Women, that it's
almoft a Fault to pronounce the Word Love. They can
fcarce difcover a Diflike of an ill thing without Blemifh,
nor even blufli without difobliging their Modefty. For,
in fine, thofe Difcourfes argue a vicious Inclination, or a
Memory ill furnifh'd, or Curiofity mifapplied j or rather
all three. For certainly, without Pains, it's hard to glean
fo great a Provifion oi Amouretts ; and without fome In-
clination, as hard to run fuch Lengths in the Hiftory of
Intrigues.

In a Word, let Modefty not only chufe the Subjedt of
your Converfation, and regulate the Management of it,
but tune the Voice, and order the Accent. The Tongue
muft not break out into Noife and Tumult; like the
Platonick Harmony of the moving Spheres ; it {hould
charoi, but not be perceiv'd at a Diftance. Would La-
dies make the Purchafe of thofe Virtues their Bufineis as
they are their real Concern, they M'ould bid fair for that
Perfedion, their Profeftion, Sex, and Station require.

There

of ?k Gentleman Inftrufied. j^y

There are others indeed neceflary, but becaufe they reach
the whole Species, and concern Men no lefs than Wo-
men, I (hall refer you to the Catechifm for Inftrudlion.
Befides, too many Precepts rather fright than inftrudr,
and are more apt to call us into Defpair, than to raife a
Refolution ofoblerving'em.

Eynil. I thank you for your Charity, Sir, and wifh my
felf fo happy as to comply with your Iniltrudion : But
they feem too vague ; favour me therefore with a Sum-
mary of thofe A(5tions I muft perform each Day. Draw
up a Scheme, and fet me a Journal.

Eufeh. Alas! Aladam, you may as well ask me to cut
out a Manteau for the Moon. Circumftances vary, and
cannot be brought to the fame Rule. However, I will
lay a Plan before you, and hope your Prudence will fit
it to vour Occaiions,

D I A L O G U E VI.

ji Regulation of their daily /Idions,

I.

A Neffeminate Sabarlte thank'd the Gods that he had
'*■*' never faen the Sun rife in his Life. I would not
have Ladies imitate this Pagan Copy, much lefs, mud
they value themfelves upon fo fuperlative a Lazinefs.
Live not as if you were our Antipodes. Curiofity is fup-
pos'd to bear a great Sway over Female Inclinations. Let
it therefore lead you to this great Planet's Levee at
leaft in December and ^January. I aflure you, Madam,
it rifes with more Majefty than the greateft Monarch ;
and this Morning Scene out-fhines the Glow-worm
Pageantry of the Play-houfe. It gilds the Pleaven with
its dazling Beams. It turns every Drop of Dew into
fparkling Diamonds, and commands Nature to change
her Nightrail into Cloth of Gold and Embroidery. Be-
fides, it wakes almoft every Fart of thedrowfy Creation-
Birds and Beafts begin Mattim^ and prockim the Glory
of their omnipotent Maker. Why fhould Man be l«fs ac-
knowledging than Btaft ? Or Inftin<5t work more forci-
bly than Reafon ?

!1 So

ij8 A Supplement to the firft Part

11.

So foot! as you are up, fall upon your Knees, and a-
dore that mighty Being that made you. His Greatnefs
calls for Homage, and your Dependance ftands oblig'd
for the Payment. Offer up every Adion of the D^y to
his Glory i fuch an Intention fantitifies the meaneil, and
ftampsa new Value upon the molt holy. Ask Pardon
for pail Offences, and rather refolve to die, than to tranf-
grefs God's C^ommands for the future. Sue for the Sup-
port of his Grace ; without this you are impotent, and
with it invincible.

III.
Refle6l what Occafion of Sin may prefentit felf, and
prevent the Danger by Prudence and Forecaft. A Temp-
tation forcleen is almoil overcome. But he lies at the
Mercy of an Enemy, who is alTaulted by Surprize and
Stratagem. When youdifcovcr an Ambufcade, keep at
a Diflancc ; to tempt Temptation is an unfeafonable
Bravery. I would as foon roufe a lleeping Lion as come
within its Reach; for, in fine, the Vidlory is not fare,
but the Peril is certain.

IV.
Stand not upon meer defenfive War, for tho' you ftrug^-
gle handiomely for a Time, and keep your Ground, you
will at length be over-power*d with Number ; if you in-
tend to come off with ConquelV, carry War into the E-
nemy's Dominions. The Advantage for the moft part
lies on the Aflailant's Side. Single out therefore every
Day fome Virtue, and make fure of it by Praftice. Tho
Duty of a Chriftian is not only to fuller, but to do; by
relifting the Allurement of Flefh and Blood you lofe no
Ground ; by exerciiing Virtue you gain upon the Devil,
and fo increafe your Forces, and weaken his.
V.
When you have difcharged your Duly to God, fpend
fome time upon the Government of your Family ; the
Bufmels within Doors lies upon your Hands, and is part
of your Province ; and you mult not do all by Deputy.
Indeed I would not ha\e you enter upon too minute a
Detail, nor regiller the Hen-rood in your Table Book. It's
below your Station to hunt every Day after Hens Nefls
as Madam L. did j or to calculate the Number of Duck-

of the Gentleman Injlru&ed. i j^

lings ; nor fhould you furvey the Hog-fty to mark the
worll of the Litter for the Tithe-Pig; thefe Anions fa-
vour of Meannefs, they argue Avarice to Excels, and fit
unhandfomely on Quahty.

When you fit at your Toilet, keep Vanity at a Di-
ftance, and remember you trim a Body that once will
fmk into Corruption. Look upon your Robes as Badges
of Lifarny; and refleft. Ladies had never been fine, had
they remain'd innocent. I know, indeed, as the World
goes, Nobility muft make a Figure : Quality and Title
without Appearance will never draw Refpett: ; they re-
quire a Support. The Senfes of the Mob muft be ftruck,
and their Imagination affefted ; for they feldom dire be-
yond the Surface, and meafure. Quahty by gaudy Trap-
pings and Equipage. However, tho' you ufe thefe Toys,
your Aftedion muft foar above 'em, and you muft never
efteem the worft Farts of Beafts to be ihe greateft Fer-
fedion of your Sex.

The brave EJiher was raifed from Subjedlion to Com-
mand, and from Servitude to the Throne. ' She walk'd
on Silks, and fpit in Silver : Nature had made her a com.-
pleat Beauty, arid Providence a mighty Emprefs; and
yet fhe protelted in the Sight of God, that her Greatnefs
was a Burthen, and her Finery a Torment. Thou know-
eft, my God, faid fhe, that meet Neceffity obliges me
to live in Pomp and Glory, not Choice; and that I fcorn
this glittering Diadem, the Envy of a thouland Ladies,
and the Defire of more. I wear it with Regret, and on-
ly when I muft appear in Publick, and lay it down when
I retire to my Apartment. The Turn of Fortune has
wrought no Change in me : I am a Slave on the Throne,
a poor Caitiff in Embroidery, and a Beggar in the Face
of Plenty. Tho' I poflefs the Scepter, toother with the
Wealth of 4//tf, 1 enjoy nothing but the Satisfadion of
proftrating my felf, and my Grandeur at the Fcjot of thy
Altars. For, in fine, the Contempt of my Greatnefs fJics
higher than my Fortune, and the Excefs of Pleafures is
the Objedl of my Averfion. Here is a feraphick Tranf-
port for ye! it's all Light, all Fire. A Heart that can
thus fcorn an Empire is larger than the World, and moie
capacious than the Empyremn. She was a Queen with-
out, all Angelj and all Seraphin within. Did Ladies

brinz

i5o A Supplement to the frjl Part

bring fuch noble Sentiments to the Toilet, they would
charm Heaven ; and whilft Men admire their Bravery,
the very Angels vi^ould fall in Love v/iih iheir Virtue :
for then they would meafure the Gaudry of their Man-
teaus precifely by the Length of Quality, not by the Ex-
tent of Pride or Vanity ; they would keep up to the Exi-
gency of their Rank, without deviating from the Duty
of their Religion.

VII.

After Dinner you may employ fome time at your Nee-
dle, or other Works luitable to your Condition. Augu-
jlus defar thought not fuch Occupations below the Dig-
nity of his Wife and Daughters : Yet he was a great
Man, and thofe Ladies mighty Princefles: And I fuppofe
our Lc\ds would not difpute the Wall with him, nor the
Wives the Precedence with his Children. The Romans
kept the DillafF of Queen Tanaquii W\ih more Care, than
the Lance of -^ow«/«j, to teach Pofterity, that it was no
!efs neceflary for the Good of the State, to propofe to La-
dies Examplesof Labour, than to Men Patterns of Bravery.
And Solomon in the Charaif er he has drawn of a Heroine,
flourifnes upon her Oeconomy and Labour She puts, fays
he, her Hands to work, and then opend 'em to the Necef-
fu'tes of the Indigent ; Jhe fpun both Linen and I'VooUen :
Yet fhe is not reprefented as a Country Dame, but as a
Peerefs : For her Husband fat cum Senatorihus terrtc, i. e.
in the Houfe of Lords^ or atleaftof Commons. Wheels
indeed are at prelent more out of Faftiion, and Ladies
will no more fpin, than make Bone-Lace. Seeing Cu-
ftom has degraded the Employment, 1 will not counfcl
you to re-inftate it in itspriftine Dignity. But however.
Needle work is reputable, and the molt qualified Ladies
may embroider without defcending from their Station.
Believe me, Mndam, Idlenefs is an ill Employment; and
file who has nothing to do, will be tempted to do more
than will Hand with Confcience, and perchance with Ho-
nour. For when we have no good Thoughts, we arc
generally pefter'a with bad ones; and when ill is in our
Fancy, it Aides with cafe into the Will.
VIIL

You may feafon Work with Reading, for though Wo-
men ftould not pretend to commence Dodlors, yet I
would not have 'em forfwear Knowledge, nor make a Vov7

of

of the Gentleman Inftm&ed. i6t

of Stupidity, God hasfavour'd you witha reafonable Soul,
enrich 'd it with the Science of thole Things,that give Life
to a civil Converfation, and inftruft you in the Duty of
your Profeflion. For your Court AlTurance, your Ad-
dreiJes, in the Modes, and Geilures of Salutation, your
graceful Entrance into a Room, and all the other pretty
Accomplifliments of the Sex, are dead, unlefs enlivened
by a handfome Difcourfe. Is it a mute Scene, a Barths-
lomevj Puppet-fhew, that furprizes fome, and furnifhes
Matter of Laughter to others ? Is it not ridiculous to fee
a Lady u'ith a great deal of Formality drive to a Ren-
dezvous^ and at the End of a fliort Complement fall im-
mediately upon Fontanges and Foretops ? So much Pomp,
ib much Ceremony, out-do the Occafion ; the Enter-
tainment is too trivial for the Solemnity. Thofe that will
not learn to fpeak aproj?us, fhould learn methinks to hold
their Peace ; for it's much better to fpeak nothing, than
to bolt out Follies.

Indeed, it's not necellary to rival the Knowledge of
the Sybils, nor the Science of theMufes; fhe fhould not
wade too deep into Controverfy, nor foar fo high as Di-
vinity. Thefe Studies lie out of a Lady's Way: They
fly up to the Head, and not only intoxicate weak Brains,
but turn them: Trey engender Pride, and blow us up
with Self-conceitednels, and when all theie meet, we (hail
be apt to meafure Faith by our private Judgment, and to
fet up our ill-fliap'd Notions againil the receiv'd Tenets
of our Religion.

Read therefore thofe Books that lead to Piety: They
enlighten the Underllanding, and warm the Will -, they
lay open the Cauieof our Miicarriages, and at the fame
Time prefcribe the Remedy. They neither flatter Quali-
ty, nor infult Peafantry, but like Pictures made to bight,
they look equally upon all : In fine, they refrefh the Me-
mory, enlarge the Underitanding, and inflame the Will,
and fo, thro' Pleafure, inltil both Wifdom and Virtue.

IX.

You may afterwards either return Vifits, or receive
them ; but perform both with as much Expedition as Ci-
vility and Ceremony will permit. Long Converiiftions
flag, they languifli at an Hour's End, and fill into meer
Chat or Impertincncics. For Women have feldom Mate-
rials to furuilh a long Difcourle, unlefs they comment

M upoa

1^2 A Supplement to thejirji Part

upon their Neighbour's Failures, and turn their Misfor-
tune into [he Subjedt of Divert'kjn. Now to laugh at a-
nother's Expence, i'« not only difingcnuous, but unchrifti-
an. Rather take a Turn fometimes lo the Play-houfe ; but
he fure firft the Piece be cleanly, clear complexion'd,
n ither larded with Smut nor Blafphemy ; that it neither
arraigns Virtue, nor buffoons Religion; that it has no-
thhg ofFenfive to the Eye, nothing to the Ear. In fine,
that it be either inlbudiveor innocent. For if it makes
bold v/ith God, or lafhes his Miniftersj if it encourages
Vice, and hoots at Virtue, you muft no more appear
there, than in a Peft-houfe. Diverlions, bought at the
Expence of Confcience, are too dearly purchas'd.

X.

Before you go to Bed, withdraw into your Clofet,and
take an impartial View of your Confcience : If it up-
braids you with no crying Sin, give Glory to God, and
with bended Knees, and an humble Heart, thank him for
the Favour. For not your Virtue, but his Grace, has
kept you upon your Legs, and either remov'd or van-
quilh'd the I'emptation. But if you have ftray'd from
your Duty, fue for Pardon ; and lay not your Body to
Reft, till you have obtain'd Quiet for your Soul. When
the Confcience is diforder'd. Sleep can fcarce be found ;
a wounded Soul keeps the Body awake in Spight of 0-
pium. And though it does not, you fhall no more (hut
your Eyes in a State of Sin, than fleep on the Brink of a
Pret i lice. For alas ! How many does Death allail in
their Beds, at uniware? ? And what is worfe, unprovi-
ded? Poor Creatures ! 'Fhey awake in Hell, and only re-
cover their Senfes to feel the Extremity of Torments.
But when, by a hearty Repentance, you have calm'd Con-
fcience, you may deep fecurely. Though Death fteal
upon you by Surprize, it will not find you unprepar'd ;
it can only convey you from a tranfitory Repofe into
eternal Reft. Here is a fhort Journal of a Chriftian
J.ife, and methinks it mayeaiily be brought to Pradlice.
A Lady, that can't fuffer fo fmall a Conftraint, muft be
ftrangely fond of Liberty.

£w/7. Vv^ell, the Scheme feems pra6ticable, and if no-
thing elfe be requir'd to live like a Lady, and a Chriftian,
Virtue encroaches not fo much upon Freedom as I imagi-
ned. Pray, Sir, go on, to oblige me with a fliort Comment
upon the Duty of a Mother. D I A-

of the Gentleman Inftm&ed, i6^

DIALOGUE VII.

The Duty of a Mother.

£»/^^.T^HI S Command, Honour thy Father and thy
•*• Mother, is reciprocal, and not only obliges
Children to refpedland revere their Parents, but alfo en-
joins Parents to love their Children; and this Obligation
comes not only from the Decalogue, but immediately
from Nature. Nor does fhe dilcharge the Duty of a Mo-
ther, who fawns on, and carelles her OfF-fpring ; who
pampers their Bodies, and wraps them up in Silk and Cot-
ton. No, no, her Care muft reach their mod fublime
Part, the Soul. This muft be cultivated and manur'dwirh
Principles and Precepts, that it may anfwer the great End
of its Creation. Now, becaufe the Malesyfo foon as they
are capable of Jnftrudtion, are taken from the A4other, I
fliall only touch upon the Education that fits the Females.

Teach them betimes the End of their Creation, their
Duty towards God, and the Obligations of Religion. Ex-
plain the Creed, and the Decalogue ; the firlt inltruifts 'em
in Faith, the fecond in Manners; and omit not the Pains
of the Wicked, and the Joys of the Juft : The one will
fright from Sin, the other will allure 'em to Virtue; nor
fufFer'em only to reft in the Knowledge, but inure them
to the Practice, by all the little Arguments of Kindnefs
and Authority ; and fecure the Obfervance by the Tenures
of Love and Obedience. "Seldom apply Severity till mild
Methods prove inelteClual : For Children muft not be
taught Piety (like Dogstofet) v/ith Stripesand ill Ufage;
They never do a Thing heartily, when compell'd by
Force, and oftentimes hate thole Exercifes at Thirty,
for which they were chaftifed at Ten. Some Years ago, I
fell into the Company of my Lady N. She ply'd me
with fuch a long-winded Panegyrick of her little Daugh-
ter, that I began to wifh the Child lefs accomplifh'd, or
the Mother lefs fond : She was Beauty in Life, and Wit
in Perfe6lion. Nay, and fo skilful in the Ways of the
Lord, that I fufpected fhe had made at ieaft two Voyauej
to Heaven, or had hit upon an Invention to travel toFa-
radife by Scale and Compals.

M 2 Well,

164 A Supplement to the firft Pdrt

Well, Madam, faidi, fuch a Wir, fuch a Divine In-
fant, I pre fume, knows the Catechifm.

The Catechifm !. replied fhe, I hope fo: And the firft
Chapter of Gc»r/i; alfo. And then immediately was I
regal'd with a Scene of Qiieftion and Anfwer. A/->/«.Who
Was the firft Mani' Ch. Adam. Moth. Who was the old-
eft Man? Ch. M^thufalem. Moth. Who was the wifeft
Man? Ch. Solomon. Nay, cries Mamma, fhe can tell
you the Wives of Abraham., Ifaac, and yacoh.

You have led her, I fuppofe, faid I, to JrfephBen'
Ifrael the Jevuijb Herald, and intend to enter her in the
Synaf^ogue. Is this all!

All ! anfwered the Lady, and a great all too. Nay, re-
plied I, it's nothing at all to the Purpofe: Indeed fhe has
learnt theNurfe'sCatechifm^ut not the Church's. Why?
The Jews know this, and believe it too, and yet are not
Chriftians. Come, Madam, leave thefe odd Methods of
Inftru6iion, and come up to the Grounds of Chriftianity.
plant the Principles of Faith and Godlinefs fo deep, that
Eeithcr the Impaifeof Flefh can fhake them, nor the bat-
tering Engines of the Devil move them. A Bead-roll of
cramp Names may polifh and refine the Memory, but
what is this to the capital Point, Salvation ?

II.

Inftrut^ion, unlefs arm'd with Example, will prove in-
fignificant. Young Creatures fooner yield to that, than
Rlietorick, and give more Credit to the Eyes than to Rea-
fon. If therefore the Mother's Condudt preaches Vice,
tho* her Mouth dilates upon the Necelfity of Virtue, the
Child will fuppofe her in Jeft, and rather fteer by her
Pra6tice, than her Precept. Wo be to thofe Mothers,
who make Daughters Witnefles of their iDiforders, and
thus immortalize their Tranfgreflions by recommending
them to their Defcendants.

III.

Let not Romances come within Reach of a young La-
dy : They are the Poifon of Youth, and murther Souls,
as fureas Arfenick or Ratsbane kills Bodies. Their Style,
JMatter, Language, and Defign, are pointed againft the
■Defence of Virtue. They fully the Fancy, over-heat
Paflion, and av/ake Folly ; and like lewd Pidures, are the
worfe for being excellent. They kindle thofe Flames
that cannot be extinguifhed without Trouble, nor enter-

tain'd

of the Gentleman JnjiYuEled. 1^5

tain'd without a Crime. Nay, like the Fire of Hell, they
are almoft eternal, an 1 what is worle, the very Torment
pleafes: And fo, 2l% Nero d.\(\ Rome ^ we behold our i'elves
in Flames, with Pleafure and Tranfport. In a Word,
Madam, a Romance is a bewitching Impofture, it fafci-
nates the Imagination with a Fool's Paradife ; it commu-
nicates the Charms to the Intelleir, and then hurries the
Will God knows whither. Like fweet Morfels, it fawns
upon the Palate to captivate the Heart, raid plays with
the Organ to cut our Throats : In fine, they give the
Paflion they reprelent, and fo, by an unhappy Inverlion,
the very Copy produces an Original.

Alas! when a young Creature reads over flourifli'd De-
fcriptions of enchanted Caftles, of glorious C>aroui"els, of
fumptuous Banquets, of conquering Beauties, and cap-
tive Knights ; what a fine Landskip will they draw in
her Head ? How powerfully will they work upon her
tender Heart ? What a Tumult Vv^ill they raife in her
Bread ? Thofe Scenes, tho' meerly romantick, follicit in
good earneft; they reinforce Paflion, and are mighty Re-
cruits to Folly ; they fet the Sex into a Fit of Longing :
(for tho' Women were made of Bone, they retain all the
Pliablenefs of Flefh.) How often will (he envy a Philoclea
for having a Pyrocles at her Feet, and how ferioufly will
fhe wifh herfelfin the Place oi Pamelia. Nay, it's odds,
when the Fancy is warm'd, and the Imagination charm'd
with the advantageous Chara6lers of thofe Platonick
Knights, fhe may fall in Love with the bare Produdt of
Sidney^ Brain, and become a real Slave to Fable and Fifti- ■
on. Or tho' file arrives not to fuch a Pitch of Frenzy,
it's very probable fhe will attempt fome Conquefl, and
fpread Nets to enfnare a Gallant, that will as fatally'en-
tangle her. Nor can fhe fail of Expedients to delude her
Guards : The Author that kindles the PafTion, (hews the
Way to carry on the Intrigue, he provides her the Me-
thods and Stratagem, and warrants Succefs, and foa Fa-
ble is turn'd into a real Story : But with this Difference,
that inflead of a Prince, Madamoifelle goes off with a
V^alet de Chambre.

IV.

Lead 'em not into Company, till a ftrong Virtue arms

'em againfl the Danger of Temptation, their Senfes mull

be guarded, and ill Objects be kept at a great Diftance.

M ^ Fleih

i^^ A SuppiHMBNT to thefirft Part

Flefh and Blood have a natural Tendency to Extrava-
g-ince, and will fcarce Hand unconcern'd under the Al-
lurements of Example and Invitation. It's dangerous,
fays St. JuJliM, for a Man to admire the very Virtues of
a Woman ; and, I believe, it's not more fecure for a
Woman to ftand the Flattery and Courtfhip of Men.
Now when both Sexes meet, Gallantry always manages
the Converfation. Would you thruft a Child into a Pell-
Houfe without Neceffity, and without an Amuletto ?
Why then will y-ou lead her to confus'd Meetings ? In
thofe Rendezvous^ as well as at C on jl amino fie ^ fomc
Body always carries the Plague- Sores, and gives the In-
fedion.

Emil. You are, I perceive, an Enemy to Breeding,
"will you have Ladies as unpolifh'd as Shepherdefles ?
Where can they learn Behaviour but in Converfation and
Company ?

Eufcb. Madam, you miftake me, I am not againft
Breeding, but I am for Virtue. And, I muft tell you,
this will turn to better Account than that : For by Breed-
ing, I fuppofe, you mean a Gracefulnefs of Conver-
fation, a decent Aflurance, together with fome pretty
Poftures alamode. Thefe Qualifications, I confefs, are
commendable, becaufe they introduce us into Company
with Advantage ; but then they muft not be magnified
beyond Proportion. I would not have Adothers fo fan-
taftically fond of them, as to place 'em among, the top
Perfections, cf the Sex ; nor to expofe a Child's Inno-
cence for a Brace of Grimaces. For, in fine, they are
ea.'ilv gained, and Ladies, by the Afliftance of Virtue,
may be acceptable without them And I am apt to be-
lieve that a native Beauty, without thele acquired Em-
bellifliments, if it be waited on by Modefty, Meeknefs,
and Devotion, will fooner find a Match, than Beauty
without Piety, though fet off with the moft ornamental
Graces of Education. But why muft fhe converie with
Men for Education ? Would you have her pafs through a
Courfe of Debauchery ? Or do you think flie cannot be
genteel, unlefs fhe be tainted ? Would you have her blaf-
pheme like a Sea Captain, orcurfe like a Drayman ? I
grant, (he may learn this hellifli Dialed: of Men, and
may be courted out of all Senfe of Honour and Probi-
ty. But thcfc, I fuppofe, are no Female Qiialifications,

and

of the Gentleman Inflru^ied. i6y

and therefore, till they receive the Stamp of publick Ap-
probation, pray let tender Virgins forbear fuch dangerous
Haunts

Luc. Under Favour, this Caution goes too far, you
will bar hyiglijh Ladies the Liberty of the Church, as
the Turks do the Afiaticks that of the Mofques ; for there
is a mixt Conflux, and I have feenas fine Gentlemen at
the Sermon, as at a Ball.

Eufeb. Really, Madam, I am fo far from debarring
Ladies the Freedom of the Church, that 1 counfel 'em to
appear oftner there. But then I am for introducing a
Jewijh Cuftom, /'. e. for feparating the Women from the
Men, and for drawing a Curtain between 'em. Thoughts,
I am fure, would be more recolle6l:ed, and Piety would
go on more evenly. But as things are carried, thefe ve-
ry Meetings are not fecure, and Virtue is expos'd to
Temptations. Bad Defigns are often laid in this San6lua-
ry, and the Intrigue is compleated in more lewd Places.
For in Truth, People appear before the Lord, not in Sack-
cloth, but in Gold and Silver ; and one would think they
came rather to commit new Sins, than to cancel the paft.
The Ladies fit on Cock-horfe upon Scaiiblds in open View,
as if they were at the Theatre, and perch about the
Crowd to be gaz'd at. And as they are feated advan-
tageoufly to be feen, fo their Elevation gives them a fair
Opportunity to fee; and thus the Danger is reciprocal.
Notvvithftanding it's a'Chriftian's Duty to goto Church,
and this is his Warrant ; and if we take a litileCare, God
will not let us mifcarry for Obedience. Befides, though
People bring ill Defigns, the Majefty of the Place, the
Solemnity of the Adion, or at leaft the Zeal of the
Preacher may ftifle 'em, and keep in Awe and Refped:
the moil wild Nature, and (o they who came Sinners,
may return Penitent.

But this concerns not thofe Meetings where hoih Sexes
convene to dance and fport. Neither carry Modefty or
Reftraint to thofe Rendezvous I Thefe Virtues are too
fupercilious and cenforious for the Occafion ; Seriouf-
ncfs and Thinking are left at home, or difmlll at tlie
Door, and Piety never obtains a Ticket, lo that People
come here unguarded, and Virtue witliout Defence :
Befides, the Parade, the Gaudry, and Gaiety of the Com-
pany follicit hard, and plead for Diforder. The one be-
M 4 witches

i6% A Supplement to the firft Fart

witches the Eye, the other the Heart: And then Mirth
emboldens Paffion, and invites it to Aftion. Soft Mufick
doubles the Charm, and wanton Airs reinforce it. They
difarm (Jaution, and enei vate Courage ; and then, when
the Collation has boil'd up the Blood, and put the Hu-
mours in a Ferment, without Doubt, Virtue is in Dan-
ger; the Ground is ilippery, the Tide runs high againft
Flefh and Blood, and will certainly carry down a tender
Virgin, with a young Virtue, into Indecencies.

Emil. You are, 1 perceive, for clapping up Ladies into
Convents like Veftals ; or at lead for conlining them to
back Apartments, as in Spain and Iraly. But Solitude
will not agree with oxir Complexion ; we are of a more
fociable Temper: And belides, I am of an Opinion, that
Reftraint is no fure Guard to Virtue. A "Woman of
Piety will keep up to the Duties of Religion in Company,
but Retirement will fcarce fecure the Honour of a P>ro-
llitute The Itnliatis and Spd/3ijh Donna s are not more
regular than our's ; tho' there is much Caution in thofe
Kingdoms, there is more Mifcarriage: Nay, I have read
in Lery, that the BrafiUaa Ladies, where Manteaus are
out of Fafhion, live within the Bounds of Honour and
Decency.

Enjl'/j. God forbid Ifliould think ofcloyftering up La-
dies •, thole Retreats are fafhionable indeed beyond Seas,
but they are heterodox and illegal in England. They
have been voted down by both floufes as ufelefs and fu-
perilitious, and who dares oppofe his fingle Opinion a-
gainft the joint Judgment of thofe grave Senators ? Li-
berty is the darling Privilege of £»^//y7:7Wf ^,and theFond-
nefs reaches the Sex. Keep it in GoJ'sName, but ftrain
not the i^rerogative, for Liberty in its full Latitude, is a
greater Nufance than Slavery ; and to be at Freedom to
do any thing, is no lefs prejudicial to Society and Man-
ners, than a Power to do nothing. Virtue confifts in a
Mean, Ladies m/aft not be mew'd up like Nuns on the
one Side, nor muft they wander about like Vagabonds
on the other. I would net have 'em kept Prilbners in
their Mother's Houfe, nor yet he Strangers to it. But
then, like Prifoncrs of State, they fhould not walk abroad
without a Keeper, and fhould be debarr'd thofe Haunts
that may furprize their Vigilance, and aHail their Virtue.
Madam Di?}ah would needs give the Ladies of Salem a
■ - ■ Vifir,

of the Gentleman InjiniEted. 16 p

Vifit, flie had a Curiofity to view their Modes, and to try
their Breeding ; but alas ! fhe loft her Honour in the
Voyage, and return'd with lefs Credit than flie went.
1 fear our Englip Daml'els meet with the fame Adven-
ture, and buy their Breeding by tlie Forfeiture of their
Innocence ; For alas ! wc have Sichems as well as Ca-
naan, and young Gentlewomen, perchance, not better
prepar'd for Defence, than the Daughter oi Jacob.

I have no Talent at Parallels, nor am able to deter-
mine whether the SpaMijh Donna s Virtue falls fhort of
that of our Engitjh Ladies. But if tliey are bad under
Reftraint, Liberty will never mend them. Opportunity
makes the Thief, Temptation prefles harder, near, than
at a Diftance. It rifes upon Sight, for Senfe is ftronger
than Memory, and Life than Painting. Now thofe who
rack their Wits to find a Temptation, will fcarce dif-
pute againft it, if it falls in their Way ; befides, free
Commerce meets more Occaiions in a Week, than Itali-
ans, or Spanijh, under a Confinement, are able to pro-
cure in a Year.

I can give no Account of the Brajilian Modefty, nor
intend to argue Pro or Con, whether fine Cloaths, or
none at all, are more dangerous j however, I would not
have young Ladies brought up by the Standard of the
Line. I am not in Love with your Equino6fial Cafui-
ftry ; nor admire the T'ofinbeian Modefty half fo much
as old Lery. Your Behaviour del Cabo will not relifli in
Europe, nor your Adamitical Garments fence Virtue in
London. Nothing can check Nature but good Principles,
and great Caution. Nay, Virtue, tho' folid, muft not be
trufted too far j for if it be prefs'd too Home, 'twill
march off, and give us the Slip.

Wherefore, to conclude, lead not your Daughters unto
Balls, without Neceffity or Civility require their Pre-
lence, and even feldom in thofe Circumftances. Such
Nouriflmient is too ftrong for weak Stomachs, and I
fhall not wonder they lofe their Health, if they feed io
foul. To guard Chaftity without Spot or Stain, is no
ealy Task ; it moves upon a fteep Afcent. Now thofe
who talk and laugh can fcarce ftrain up a Hill. If Care
and Pains will hardly do, what will become of thofe
that are rock'd in Pleafure, and lie under all the Inftrudli-
pns of Debauchery ? But I forbear to enlarge upon

the

170 A Supplement to the firfl Fart

the Subjedl, the Pradice won't bear a Defence. When
the Caufe is naught, we (hould not ftrain for Pretences :
In a Word, it's certain, fuch Converfations are dange-
rous, they roufe bad Humours, they vitiate the Fancy,
and prepare the Will for Rebellion.

EmiL Too free Converfation is not without fome In-
conveniencies ; but then confider that Retirement is not
exempt ; for the Fancy will break Inclofure, tho' the Bo-
dy be coop'd up ; nay, and bring into the Chamber all
the Species of ' exterior Objeds; and, it's odds, ill Ob-
je(fl;s will crowd in with the innocent, and may proba-
bly meet with a kinder Reception ; for they glide fmooth-
ly upon the Senfe, and then a Girl not much employed,
may divert Melancholy with the Profpedl.

Eufeb. You are in the Right, and you prove that the
moft ftri6l Reclufe is always within the Reach of Dan-
ger, but then fhe Hands more out of the Way ; and if
the Copy of unlawful Things make fuch a deep Imprefli-
on, the Original would link deeper.

But firft, I have provided againft Idlenefs, by counfel-
ing you to bring your Daughters up in the Praftice of
thole Works that become their Age and Quality ; by inu-
ring them to the Ledlure of thofe Books that feed Devo-
tion, and delight without Danger.

Secondly, I only fpeak againft the Company of Men;
they may vifit their own Sex, and pafs away the Time in
thofe Recreations, that neither clafh with Decency, nor
endanger Virtue; and if they grow uneafy upon fo fmall
a Reftraint, and fall into Fits of Melancholy, you may
conclude, the Caufe of the Diftemper lurks in the Soul,
not in the Body, and that the Heart fhould rather be
purg'd than the Spleen. Indeed, you fliould not truftyour
Child, without good Caution,evenwithher own Sex, for
all are not ftaunch. Some are unballaft, and too light,
and if they are infeded by Pride or Vanity, if they
languifli after the fading Pleafures of the World with Pre-
judice to Virtue, they may fcatter the Contagion both by
Words and Example.

V.

But let not your Care out-run Prudence. Importune
not<i Daughter at Fifteen with Precepts and Inftrudion,
you may exceed by Severity, as well as by Indulgence j
and by forcing her to be too Good, tempt her to do Evil.

Allow

of the Gentleman Inflru6fed. 171

Allow fome Grains to Youth, and rather wink at light
Faults, than chaftize 'em. You cannot expedl at Twelve
the Maturity of Forty ; nor the Stayednels and Prudence
at Fifteen, as of a Lady of Fifty. Youth is unfurnifli'd
with Refledlion, and Ibmetimes a6ls rather by Impulfe
than Reafon. Now Time will fooner heal fuch Failings
than Reproof, and Age is a better Do6lor for this Di-
llemper than Expollulation ; for when Corredion comes
often, it lofes its Force, it makes no Impreflion, and fome-
timcs works the wrong way ; /'. e. it's received with a
Pet, and perchance with a Raillery too ; and thus what
was intended for a Remedy becomes Poifon, and rather
kills than cures. You forfeit your Authority firft, and
then the Daughter withdraws her Refpe6l and Kindnefs
to make way for Averfion ; and when this unlucky Paf-
fion fteps in, what can be expefled but Noife and Cla-
mour ? And God fend it ends there. Young People are
headftrong, and oft'ner follow the Advice of Refentment
than of Prudence. A young Lady of my Acquaintance,
a great Fortune, and handfomely qualified with all the
Accomplifhments of Art and Nature, flung herfelf away
upon a Man unworthy to be her Page. I expoftulated
the Matter with her, and fliew'd her theUnbefeemingnefs
of the Fa6l: She ealily condefcended fo far. as to confefs
{he had done ill, but laid the Fault at her Another's Door.
She tired my Patience, faid fhe, with imperious Repri-
mands, as if fhe intended rather to torment than cor-
re(5l me. I was either too gay, or too referv'd, and no
more able to pleafe her in Solitude than in Company.
When I pray'd, Bigotry was coming upon me; when I
read, Madnefs; a Smile was conftituted Lightnefs ; a
Frown, ill Nature ; fine Cloaths, Vanity ; and a common
Drels, Sluttiflinefs. So, that my Mother play'd either the
Momus, or the Fury. In fine, I hung continually upon the
Rack, and the Torment was too fenfible to be endur'd
with Patience. I found no Way to break my Chains, but
by beating out new ones ; and caft my felf away, not to
languifh in Slavery. I confefs the Speech touch'd me no
lefs than her Misfortune; and if I compaffionated the
Daughter, I detefted the Conduft of the Mother. Take
care, left you pufh Severity too far, and miftake not Fro-
wardnefs for Corredlion. I have feen the moft cowardly
preatures, when prefs'd, turn upon thofe that chas'd

them.

172 A Supplement to thejirfl Part

them, and fometimes vault from a Tower to fave them^
felves. Great Preflures caufe defperate Attempts, when
they meet with a violent Paflion ; and whofoever fuppo-
fes a Senfe of Duty will always over-rule a ftrong Refent-
ment, is ill acquainted with human Nature. Behave your
felf to your Daughter, not like a Jaylor, but as a Com-
panion: Lay down the Authority of a Miftrefs, and take
up all the Kindnefs of a Mother. When you have a
Child's Heart, you may mould her into any Shape ; but
when you have her Averlion, you may undo her by Re-
proof, but will never mend her.

VI.

When you have brought up a Child in Piety to an Age
of Maturity, nothing remains for the Difcharge of your
Duty, but a Settlement fuitable to her Education and
Quality. This is a Matter of the higheft Concern, and
therefore requires much Caution, and long Deliberation :
For what can't be undone, muft not be done without
Thought and Refleftion. Crofs not the lawful Inclina-
tions of a Child, out of a View of Intereft, nor tie her
to a Man for whom (he has no other Paflion but that of
Averfion. When Marriages are made without Love,
Love often follows without Marriage : And thus you
force her to be miferable, and tempt her to reiign her
Virtue and Honour.

Here is a fhort Sum of your Duty, and I could wifli
you would fpend fome cool Thoughts upon the Subje6l,
it'sof Importance, and defervesRefle6lion. What is here
laid down, has nothing hard, nothing of Bigotry ; it nei-
ther encroaches upon Quality, nor entrenches upon a de-
cent Freedom ; and tho' it did, you muft remember God
will not give Hezven gratis ; it's a Reward, not a free Gift,
and fomething muft be done to deferve it. Glory is not
purchas'd without Labour, nor Wealth without Pains,
and yet Death cannot with-hold the Soldier from ihePur-
fuit of the one, nor the Death of Tempeft and Quick-
fands deter the Merchant from the Chafe of the other :
And yet, what are thofe, if compared to the Treafures
God has prepared for the godly in Heaven? If then Men
drudge for Things fo fadmg and tranfitory, how can you
refufe to labour for thofe that are eternal? And if a bare
Hope of Succefsperfuades Men to run upon certain Pe-
rils, methinks the infallible Promiles of our Saviour de-
ferve

of the Gentleman Jnftrutted. lyi

ferve as great a Compliance. Heaven, Madam, is a brave
Purchafe. What a charming State is it, that places us a-
bove Pain, and feats us out of the Reach of Death ? That
iuppliesall we can defire, and removes all we can fear?
That puts an End to Wifhes, and a Beginning to the
Enjoyment of God ?

Em'tl. Sir, I thank you for the Pains you have taken,
and doubt not but God will reward your Charity. I (hall
return wiler, and, I hope, better. But to complcat the
Favour, be pleas'd to oblige me with your Inftrudionsin
writing. Memory is treacherous, and we often forget
thofe Things that fhould always be remembred : Belides,
the Benefit is too important to be confined to a private
Perfon. My Difeafe is epidemical, and you will find
few Ladies in Court untainted : Fray let the Remedy be
publick. I will fend it to the Prefs with your Leave, and
prefent it to our Sex, with a Dedication.

Eufeb. You may command me, I will leave the Pa-
pers at your Difpofal, upon Condition you conceal my
Name, for I have no Inclination to new Engagements.
Some may complain the Phyfick is too ftrong, and then
the Dodtor is in Danger to be greeted with the Title of
Ignoramus^ or Mountebank. Now fuch a Sentence pro-
nounc'd by one Lady, will certainly prejudice my Prac-
tice, and ruin my Fortune: For a Phyfician's Skill rifes
and falls by the Opinion of Ladies. Emilia and Lucia
after fome Compliments took leave of Eufehius, and
drove home. They were as calm as a Spring Morning,
and of Enemies became Eufcbiui^s Admirers.

DIALOGUE VIIL

Eufebius inftmSis Leander in the Duty of a Soldier.

Tl^HEN the Ladies were gone, Eufebius fate down to
Dinner with Neander, and invited him to fpend
fome Part of the Evening in the Park. We have been,
faid he, with a Smile, upon hard Service this Aborning,
I have almoft talk'd my felf down ; let us breathe a littls
frefh Air in the Par^, and reinforce our Spirits, methinks
mine begin to droop, and call fpr R.elaxation.

Nean.

174 A SuvvLiMii^r to the ^rfl Part

Nean, I'll wait upon you. Age and Labour work up-
on the Body ; I wonder not your Spirits run low, Dif-
courle, with Life and Vigour, drains the Arteries : How-
ever, you are not exhaulled, and, I believe, you have
I'ulficient Fund of Vitals behind, to furnifti another Con-
veri'ation : Zeal buoys up Nature, and repairs the De-
cays of Age. And now they were taking Coach, when
in comes a Gentleman call'd Leander. This was he who
undertook the Combat againft Eufebius^ and was depu-
ted by the Club of Debauchees to ask Satisfadlion. He
v/as a Man of Quality and Title ; he bore a confidera-
ble Command in the Army, and made no contemptible
Figure at Court. He had a Senfe of Religion, but his
Morals anfwered not the Purity of his Faith. However,
his youthful Sallies fprung rather from Frailty than Ma-
lice, and he was carried down the Stream of Senfuality,
rather by the Ferfualion of ill Company, than by the In-
clination of Nature. When he had rioted away his
Innocence, he Hill kept good Principles, and could not
applaud thofe Crimes he had the Weaknefs to commit.
Nay, his Confcience never permitted him to fm with-
out a Reproach: So, that he was fure to pay dearly in
his Chamber for the Liberties he took in the Tavern.
He always linn'd with a Check, and one might read
Concern in his Forehead, and Guilt in his Face. Eleu-
therius would needs play the Exorciit, and lay the Devil
of Confcience, as he term'd it. Come Leander, faid
he, caji off thefe Qualms, and leave pziking, we live by
Meat and Drtnk, as they fay, and Flejh and Blood zuill
y/ever thrive tipon School Subtleltes and Motions, l^^'hcn
thou carifl bring all Men to be of one Mmd, all 'Judgments
to meet npon the fame Point, and ail Corjfciences to the
fame Gage, then thou mayfi begin to think of Futurities :
But till this be done, Liy h^jldofthe frefent, and turn Con-
fcience upon the Common ; keep li low, and it will leave
wincing. This Flight of Libcrtinifm grated upon Le-
anderh Hearing, he could not bear the Impiety without
a Blufli, and tho' he fmother'd the Rel'entnient, his
Concern M'as nolefs. For Shame always accompanied his
TranfgrefTions, and he could not endure to hear People
defend oiie Crime with another, or auihorizeTranfgref-
lions by ridiculing Religion.

But

of the Gentleman Injlm^ied, lys

But the laft Night's Expedition quite turn'd his Sto-
mach ; he could by no means difgell luch a Mefs of Cur-
fes, and thofe VolUes of Blafphemies rung fo difmal a
Peal in his Ears, that he thought himfelf in Hell among
the wretched Crew of the damn'd, and from this Mo-
ment he refolv'd to take up, and to bid farewel to thole
unlawful Pleafures, that firft lead to Atheifm, and then
plunge the Sinner into eternal Torments. He had heard
of Eufehius, and concluded him to be Man of Merit
and Piety, becaufe Eleutherius lampoon'dhim. For what,
faid he, can fuch finilVd Rakes applaud but Vice, or
buffoon but Virtue ? When therefore the Cabal deter-
min'd to attack Eufebim, he embraced the Occafion, and
offered his Perfon for the Encounter : But his Intention
was, not to argue, but to learn ; to receive Inftruftion,
not to he6tor.

At his Arrival, he inform'd Eufebius of his Errand, he
declar'd his Name, Quality, Circumftance, and Refolu-
tion.

Eufebius declin'd the Task as much as Civility would
permit: He told him he was better provided to receive,
than to give Inftrudlion ; but Leander prefs'd upon him
too hard to receive a Denial. At laft, Importunity over-
came the old Gentleman, and he began thus. You are a
Soldier, and a Courtier, fo that your Bufinefs lies in the
Field, or St. Jameih : In Summer, you lodge under a
Tent ; in Winter, at Court : We will firft cut you out
Employment for the Campaign.

Eufeb. Courage is the Diana of Soldiers, it's a Kind
of Camp Divinity, and all, from the General to the pri-
vate Centinel, pay it Hpmage, and almoft Adoration : It's
therefore your Intereft not to be led away by Notions
fiufh'd by Error, and fram'd by Caprice. Remember
one Virtue is never at Variance with another, they live
in Amity, and entertain a good Correfpondence : But
you may as foon ftrike Fire out of Ice, as Valour out of
Crimes. Sin alone arms Death with Terror, Innocence
dares provoke it; and even charge thro' Hell : For Death
can only take from pious Chriftians a Life they muft
furrender to Nature ; its Power only reaches the Body,
and its Dominion expires with our laft Breath. If you
ambition the Repute of a vahant Man, make fure of

Virtue ;

\y6 A Supplement to the firft Fart

Virtue; put no Strefs on a fiery Conflitution, that rife"
and falls with the Barometer^ a Courage that depends on
Seafons, is precarious, and can be no more trufted than
the Winds ; it oft'ner flows in the Tavern than in the
Field, and looks more fternly on an Enemy's Back, than
on his Face.

II.

Provide, Leander, for the Chriftian ; If you mifcarry
under this Chara6ter, that of the Soldier will fcarce
refcueyou: The Colonel will be uneafy if the Chriftian
be damn'd, nor will all the Bravo's of his Regiment re-
trieve his Misfortune ; ftand therefore on your own
Guard, and be as ready to meet Death, as to encounter
the Enemy. Death, dear Sir, makes its Approaches by
Surprize, and attacks by Mine and Stratagem, it works
out of Sight, and often aflaults without Signal : I muft
tell you too, it hates Capitulation, it takes in the van-
quifli'd at Difcretion, and will not hear of a Cartel:^
Nay, it diftinguiflies not the General from a common
Trooper, and has no Regard to Dignity or Com miflion.
So that neither the Duke nor the Marjhal will be per-
mitted to trip back to London, or Parts, upon their Pa-
role. When once Death has arrefted you, nothing re-
mains but Hell or Heaven, and both eternal. This Un-
certainty of Death, made our Saviour fo often preach
Care and Caution. He bids us ftand continually upon
our Guard, and counfels us as a Friend, to prepare a-
gainft an Enemy, fo audacious, and at the fame Time fo
undermining. And certainly, if this Advice be feafona-
ble for all Mankind, it muft be very proper for Soldi-.
ers, for they not only run the common Hazards of Men,
but alfo thofe that wait upon thgr ProfelTion. They car-
ry about them the Principles of a thouland Diftempers,
and at every Step ftumble upon foreign Dangers, never
forefeen, and feldom avoided. Sometimes- you beat up
the Enemy's Quarters, fometimes he returns to the
Charge. If you give him a Camifade, he comes upon
you with a Re-veil Matin : Yet whether you afi'ail, or are
aflailed, you are equally within the Reach of Danger,
and nothing but Hazard can prote6t you : For whoever
comes in the Way of jiombsand Bullets leaves Security
behind him. Keep tiiereforc your felf clear of Sin, you
will fight with a uood Heart, if a good Coiifcience fol-
lows

of the Gentleman Inflni^ied. lyy

lows you to the Engagement, and will either come oft" a
Conqueror, or fall a Hero. But if Crimes draw upon the
Soul, whilft Muskets and Artillery play upon the body.
Fortitude will not long Itand by you: Courage without*
a good Confcience trembles at Hell, and leaves a Man
diTpirited when he molt needs Support. For who will
charge an Enemy through Smoak and Fire, that fears the
next Moment to plunge into everlafting Sulphur ? If there-
fore you have a mind to fight well, refolve to live wel 1,
and whilft you have Time, think of a Provifion beyond
the Grave.

III.

Live not in the Camp like a Spah't or Janifary at the Ot-
'to/nan^oxl^ mesriy for Intereft, or Glory. Such Pagan
Motives are below the Dignity of a Chriftian Cavalier.
Level your Pretenfions above fuch bafe Views, and make
Advantage of Labour and Merit. Can't you ferve your
Prince, benefit your Country, oblige Poiterity, deferve
the Appiaufe of Men, and a Reward in Heaven ? Can
you not be ns bnve out of a Senfe of Duty, as of Vanity
or Intereft ? Will your foy belefs, becaufeyou expert a
Gratification hereafter ? Will your Adions be lefs glori-
ous, becaufe they receive a Luftre from Virtue ? Raife up
then your A.mbition to this noble Height ; ftrike at this
charming Mark, it's worth the while, and fits the Cha-
racter of a Chriftian. But it's a Madnefs beyond Fren-
zy to drudge like Slaves in the Quarries, or Metal Mines,
or efpoufe continual Dangers, to refign the Satisfac^tions
of Life, for Noife and Ceremony, for a few Crowns,
or a Place in the Gazette^ or an niry Fluzza of infignifir
cant Mortals, who praife by Chance, and blame at Ran-
dom ; who fide with Temerity againft true Courage,
and always pronounce in Favour of fuccefsful Raflmefs
againft unfortunate Prudence and Bravery.

Notwithftanding this bewitching P^ntom fafcinates
Soldiers, it heats their Brain, and anvils out a thou-
fand Contrivances. Neither Rhetorick is able to ha-
rangue 'em, nor Logick'to reafon 'em out of this unchri-
ftian Humour: It's the leaft realbnablej and tnoft child-
ifliof all our Follies. To court Death in earneft, for a
Life purely hi fancy, to fling up all the Advantages of
this World, and run headlong upon all the Terrors of
the other for a Panegyrick, is to bottom om SHmmum Bo-

178 A Supplement to the fir ft Part

num on Opinion, and to be happy at oti-ier's Courtefy.
Applaufe is a very indigent, or a very ill-natur'd thing ;
it leaves us where it finds us, and cannot, or will not re-
trieve the moll infigViificant Misfortune. Pray in what
King's Reign did it fill an empty Pocket ? When did it
fet a disjointed Eftate? When did it command a difor-
der'd Pulie to beat even? Or recal a Man from his
Grave ? Alas ! the Expedation of this Life at fecond
Hand can only draw fine Landskips in the Imagination,
and crown the Brain with diverting Thoughts. Now a
moderate Dofe of Opium will do the Bufinefs with lefs
Hazard than a Siab, and at lefs Expence than the For-
feiture of Life and Limb.

You intend not, I fuppofe, to carry Bravery beyond
that of the Duke of Luxemburgh^ nor difpute Conduft
with m?.ich\Q\s Ture»>ie : No, believe me. Sir, you will
fall (liort a Bar's length at leaft of the firft, and will
fcarce come within Cannon-fliot of the fecond ; and yet
thefe mighty Heroes fleep in their Graves. The admir'd
Panegyrick of ^/<.' In Rue could not awake the Duke, nor
the fwimming Periods of Flechier revive the Vifcount.
Their brave Actions that fiU'd the Gazettes of the laft
Age, may perchance appear in the Theatre towards the
end of this, and if it pleafe the Poet, not for Triumph,
but Condemnation. But alas ! the Dead are not greater
for the Efi-eem of the Living, nor lefs for their Cenfure.
If a virtuous Motive aniniated the Enterprizes of thefe
fOjinous Generals, they h.ave received a Reward ; if a vi-
tious one, they feel the Punifliment. Fig!:it therefore in
A good Caufe, with a clear Confcience, and a holy A4o-
tlvc, like a Chriftian, not like a Mamaluke^ or Pagan:
Provide for your Soul, and God will provide for your
Honour; if your Name be forgot in the Annals of Time,
ii will make a noble Figure in tiicfe of Eternity. Thofe
invincible Squaddkns of Martyrs, who in the Eye of the
World lived in Contempt, and died in Difhonour, who
were lafli'd like Slaves, and executed as Criminals, are
crown'd with immortal Glory in Heaven, and their very
Memory breathes Perfumes on Earth, whilft their Perfe-
cutors groan in Flame ; and God feems to have convey'd
down their Names toPoilerity only for their Punilliment,
raid our Imlrud^ion.

Lean.

of the Gentleman Injirtdted. 175)

Lean. You advife me to ftand for a good Cau4e: Is it
the Subjedl's Bufinefs to enter into the Secrets of the Ca-
binet, to examine the Refults of the Privy-Counfel, and
to fet up a lingle Opinion againfl: a Royal Declaration ?
With SubmifTion, I always thought it the Duty of Sub-
je6ls to obey, not to dilpute with Superiors; they mult
befuppos'd to command what is juft, till their Injundli-
ons appear evidently unjult. For in doubtful Cafes Pre-
fumption ftands for the Government; and this Deference
we indifpenfably owe to Authority, otherwife I fee not
how the chief Magiftrate can maintain Peace and Tran-
quilHty. I confels, it's my Opinion, and has always
been my Practice.

Eujeb. Had all Men kept up to your Principles, lefs
Blood had run from EngHjh Veins the laft Age, and lefs
Coin from their Purfes. But when the Prince's Preroga-
tives are clip'd, his Orders queftion'd by the Multitude,
when Jack and Turn ereft Tribunals of Right and Wrong
in every Tavern, and an Amfierdam Cofi'ee-houfe Club
ufurps the Power of reviewing the Proclamations of /i^/6z>^-
hdi^ what can be expeded but Tumult and Deftru6lion ?
W^hen therefore the Government declares War, a Sub-
ject muft fuppofe it lawful, unlefs he can oppofe ftri(5l
Evidence, and he may fight with a fafe Confcience un-
der his lawful Prince's Standard in this Conjuncture. But
this is not the prefent Caie ; I hinted at a Practice unjuft
in my Opinion, though ordinary. Young Gentlemen
without Employment at home, try Concluiions abroad :
They purfue Comm.iffions in tiolLind^ France^ and Ger-
many^ and fell th^ir Service, as Jockies do Horfes, to
him that bids moft ; their Swords diilinguifh not Right
from Intereft, they ftand not upon the Niceties of Ca-
fuiftry, nor trouble themfelves with the Notions of Ju-
ftice ; their Bufinefs is to fccure Money without forma-
lizing upon the Means, and fuppofe tljeir Caufe good, if
their Commiflion be creditable, and lucrative.

Lean. Permit me^, Sir, to interpofe ; methinks you
bind up unprovided Gentlemen to'hard Circumftances,
and fcrev/ up the Morals of the Gofpel fome Points too
high. Suppole I plead hard for a Regiment under Phi/ip
the Fifth, but faUing fhort of my Expectation, I addrefs
my k\f to Charles the Third, and obtain a Commiinoni
is this Conduct nnfui?

N 2 Etifeh.

i8o A Supplement to the firft Fart

Eufeh. Had you been pleas'd to have fufFered me to
proceed, you had receiv'd an Anfwer to this Quctre. I
therefore exphdn my Mind thus. An Kngltjhman has no
Dependance on foreign States, and therefore cannot enter
into their Quarrels at random, he muft be convinc'd,
before he draws his Sword, the Party's Right ftands up-
on fiur Reafons, and plaufible Grounds ; for an Officer
thus in CommilHon is a kind of Lawyer, with this only
Difference, that the one pleads his Client's Caufe at the
Bar, the other in the Field ; the one with his Tongue, the
other with his Sword ; and as no Lawyer can undertake
the Defence of a Caufe dellitute of Proofs, that found a
rational Probability ; fo no Gentleman can enter into an
extern Service without a previous Information of the Ju-
fticeofthe Qitarrel he engages to defend. Now, tno*
it be certain, that \i Philip has Right to the Spanifh Mo-
narchy, Charles has none ; and that if this Prince has,
Philip is an Ufurper, (for two can have no Right at the
fame Time to the fame Thing) yet becaufe Jurifts are di-
vided upon the Queftion, and both fupport their Title by
probable Arguments, a Stranger may fide with either,
but then he cannot (lieer off from one to the other. For
then he is fure to efpoufe the Wrong againft the Right,
becaufe Juftice ftands not for both. I caution'd you a-
gainft this Game of Faft and Loofe, Under-Officers of-
ten play at. It's neither Genteel nor Chriftian, choofe
your Side, in God's Name, but then let not a fairer Pro-
Ipedl: of Advantage draw you over to the Enemy. In-
deed this fliifting of Colours is rather the Practice of Sol-
diers tlian Commanders. But thefe lometimes are guil-
ty, and as the Confequences in thefe are more dangerous,
fo their Crime is lefs pardonable.

Lejn. I take your Meaning. A Subje6l muft ftand
up for the Defence of his lawful Prince and Country, a-
gainlt the Attempt of a foreign Enemy, without entring
upon a Difquifition of tlie Jufticeof the War. But who-
ever enters into the Service of a foreign State, adlually
engaged in War, muft be perfuaded upon rational
Grounds the War is juft. And vi^henhe has ftruck in
with one Side, he cannot retreat to the other during the
fame War, unlefs he receives new Information.

Enfeb. You comprehend me.

Lean,

of the Gentleman Jnfiru^ted, i8i

Lean. I am of your Opinion, and fubfcribe to your

Reafon ; for by fo doing, we run headlong into a fatal
Neceflity of upholding Wrong againft Right. For tho'
the Titles of both the Pretendants may carry a fair
Dutlide, yet it's certain, at the Bottom, one is defec-
tive. Pray now go on.

IV.

Eufe/7. Wage not War hke Canibals or Tartars^ Com-
rniffion reaches the Guilty, but gives no Power oyer the
Innocent ; Soldiers may come within the Statute of Mur-
der, as well as Pads on the Highway, and may be as
guilty of Thefts as Eve-droppers^ or Cut-purfes. Thou
Jhah not murder^ thou floalt not fleal^ are compreheniive
Precepts, they take in the Camp as well as the City, and
are no lefs binding in the Field, than in Winter-Qiiar-
ters. Keep therefore your M^n up to Order and Dif-
cipline, and as you reward their Valour, fo punifh their
Crimes. Look upon Maradnres as a Nufince to the
Camp, as a Shame to the Profeflion, and a Plague to
Mankind. They muft not be countenanc'd as Soldiers,
but executed as Felons. They fhould receive no better
Quarter from their Officers, than they give the Peafants,
nor find more Mercy, when taken, than they fliew when
they rifle Villages, l^^ho hinders not a Crime, fays Sene-
ca, commits it. The Rapes and Violences of a Soldier
rebound on the-indulgent Commanders, and by Conni-
vance they adopt them.

The great Belifarius has left Generals a noble Model,
and points out a fhort, but fure Way to Vidlory. Knovj^
Compaf-^ions, faid he, / am come to fight, not fo much
Vjith H'^eapons of Steel., as zvith the Arms ofjujiice and
Religion : li'^ithout thefe,hou! can we expeSi J/iSiory^or hope
for Snccefs ? My Camp Jh all not be polluted with Rapine ^
Kur your Swords with Cruelty. l^Vithout ^ufiice., Courage is
weak., and a wicked Hero will turn his Back to an innocent
Coward. This fhort Harangue aw'd the Soldier, and
frighted him into Refpect and Modefty. Nay, it raifed
the General fo high in the Efteem of all the Italians, that
it's hard to determine, whether they admired more his
Condu6l and Bravery, or his Discipline. The very
Clowns loved the Legionaries, as their Brethren, and al-
moft ador'd the General as a tutelar Divinity. Never
Man undertook greater Things with a lefs Army, nor

N 3 came

1 82 1^ Supplement to the firfl Part

came off with more Glory. With fcarce twelve thoufand
Soldiers he clear'd Afnca of Tyrants, and Italy almoft
of the Goths ; he not only retook liome^ but fubdued i^i-
tiges at the Head of a hundred thoufand Men, and led
him captive to Co»Jlantiaop!e. Thus we fee Succefs
oft'ner follows OrJerand Difcipline, than Numbers, and
that Virtue, with a fmall Retinue, over-matches Vice
with a greater.

Lean. I confefs it were to be wiffi'd that our Generals
had more Authority, and the Soldiers better Difcipline.'
But alas! thefe Qualities are out of Fafhion, and Obe-
dience that once made the Glory of Soldiers, is now be-
come their Shame.

Eitfeb, If you are unable to bridle the Militias Info-
lence, quit your Poll, it's better to refign your Commifli-
on than your Innocence, and more fafe to lay down your
Command, than to forfeit your Soul. He is unfit for
Rule, that cannot command Obedience.

I have feen Armies licentious beyond Meafure, and in-
folent to Excefs ; one would have thought /Ittila with his
Huns was once more return'd to plague Chnflendom :
Terror march'd before the Camp, Delblation accompa-
ny'dit and a thoufand Imprecations of undone Peafants
follovvM It. Mahomet could not have a6ted more bloody
Tragedies in Europe : Nor the moll irritated Chrilfian
Prince in /f/z-?. They ftorm'd more Purfes than Towns,
and wheel'd off from Counterfcarps, to aflault Hen-
Roofts and Sheep-cotes. They feem'd to take the Field,
not to light, but to plunder; and whilft the lawlcfs Sol-
dier: fcatter'd Ruin with Fire and Sword, the Generals
fpread Defolation with Safeguards : So that the FrqtedU-
on of ihefe, was more expenfive than the Avarice of thofe,
and Kindnels was no lefs cruel than Fury. The Dilbrder
was evident, though the Caufe of it was difputed ; fome
arraign'd the Weak, .fs, others the Avarice of the Offi-
cers, and fome the Infolence of the Soldiers. But whilfl:
every one complain'd, the Mifchief run on without Li-
mit, and only then a Remedy was applied, when the
Difeafe was paft Cure, i. e. when the Country could lofc
no more, nor the Army gain any more : And yet thefe
fine Pranks were play'd among Friends and Allies. But
if Friendfhip be fo chargeable, it's not worth the Pur-
chafe, and I had rather l?y my all at the Mercy of a Foe,

than

of the Gentleman Injlrutfed. 183

than to give it to the Avarice of a Friend ; for I behave
he is no richer that is beggar'd by his Protestor, than he
that is ruin'd by his Enemy. And^ methinks, to be hugg'd
or piftol'd to Death, is an equal Mi.-^fortune. You know,
Sir, how many Ifraelites fell for the Sacrilea;e of one M.-.n,
and nothing could appeafc God's Anger, but the Execu-
tion of the Offender. How many Armies have melted
away into nothing for the fam.e Caufe ? Mortality fwept
'away whole Companies without Remedy, and buried
Regiments without Honour. Though Soldiers anJ Offi-
cers fmile at thefe Exorbitances, they will hereafter
change their Mirth into a more doleful Key, unlels they
deleft with Horror thofe Injuftices, they now applaud
with Infolence. You muft never draw your Sword but
to defend Juftice, and a General's commanding Staff,
like the Club of Hercules^ muft always be heaved up to
quell Monfters.

V.
Tho' a Soldier's Life be honourable, yet we muft grant,
that of all Profeflions it's the moft miferable. The Prero-
gative of a private Centinel above a Slave lies only in the
Name,and the Advantage, if any,ftands for the GalUrian :
For the Soldier is tied to continual Duty, and, like a Va-
gabond, is without Houfe, and often without Cover. He
is unprovided of Necellaries to fupply his Wants, and of
Patience to fupport 'em without Murmur. Yet he aban-
dons his Friends, bids his Country farewel, to range a-
bout the World (like the wild Tartars in Tents) he
throws iiimfelf upon Poverty, under a foreign Climate,
and affronts Death for a Groat a Day. What an incon-
liderable Salary is here for a Toil fo flavifh, crowded
with fuch a multitude of Dangers, and fo far removed
from the very Hope of Preferment ? Yet fome Officers,
in fpightof Laws,both Human andDivine,divide this No-
thing, and fo ftarve the Soldier to feed their Pride and
Debauchery. They live high at others Expence, and
carry on the Camp Diverhon (Gaming) by Extortion.
This Pandora^ 5 Box pours out a hundred Plagues upon the
Army, for the Soldier muft live ; if therefore the Cap-
tain purloins the Pay, and fets it afide to retrieve an un-
lucky Caft, or to ftop a Camp-Lady's Mouth, muft he
not draw Bills of Exchange upon the Country, i. e. give
the Signal to plunder at Difcretion, and upon his Honour
N 4 promife

184 A Supplement to thejtrji Part

promife Impunity ? I once took the Liberty to check 4
Captain for a Condud: fo uncljriftian, and unnatural.
Faith, Sir, faid he, the Cards run unkindly the other
Day, my Guineas deferted to the Enemy, and I mull re-
cruit. This is the only Way, and Cuftom has prevailed.
So have, anlwer'd I, a great many ill Things befides.
The hi,2;heft Extravagances can plead a Prefident, and if
this fufficed to authorize an Adlion, Whores and Rogues
would have a line Time, and thefe fcandalous Frofelli-
ons would become not only reputable, but innocent.
But, Sir, Cuftom, without Realbn, is no better than
Vice triumphant.

Be/ides, it cherifliesDeferiions,and fo injures the Prince
as well as the Subjedt. Who will drudge meerly for Ba-
llinado's and Beggary ? This is uneafy, and thofe are nei-
ther creditable nor plealing. Nay Pain and Mifery are
infupportable, unlefs corredled by fome fweet'ning Ingre-
dients; like Pills, they muil be gilt to go down: For, be-
lieve me, j'ain with Soldiers over- rules Duty, and Senfe
of Indigence works ftronger than that of Honour j their
Reafon is in the Oar, unpolifh'd, and almoll unfit for
Service. Difcourfe and Refledtion run very low with
them, and Confcience lower.. What then can keep thefe
poor Wretches to their Colours, if their Subfiftence' b?
withdrawn .? Nothing in Hand, with nothing in Reverfi-
cn, is Beggary for Life. Such a State is miferable beyond
Parallel, it's a kind of Damnation that difcardsa Man not
only of all Comfort, but even of Hope and Expeftation,
that buoy up the Spirits of Slave?. Their Fortune being
fo low, they know it cannot fink lower, and then it's na-
tural by fliifting Sides to endeavour to be better, and thus
we fee Regim.ents grow thin without Battle, without
Difeafes, and Companies broken by meer Defertion. Se-
verity will never heal this Evil. Defpair fcrccs People
upon ftrange Courfes. He who receives daily Unkind-
nefs from his Officer, and Injuftice too, will rather for.
once venture the Gallows, than continually groan under
the Tyranjiy.

Lea». Why don't the Soldiers complain? They are
free-born Subje6ts, and under the Protedlion of the Law.

Etifib. Complain when the Plaintiff ftands at the Bar,
and the Defendant fits on the Bench, on which fide will
the B;ilance turn? The Informer is immediately clapp'd

up

of the Gentleman lnftYu6ied. 185

up for Mutiny, and thus, at the fame Time, he forfeits his
Pay, arid lays his Life at the Mercy of a Conrt-Mi^Jhal.
This Camp-Juftice is ill-natur'd and quick too ; a Man is
fentinto the other World in a Moment, no.t for his own,
but others Crimes. Good God ! to take a Man's Purfe,
and then to bar him the Liberty to complain; to ftretch
him on the Rack, and then to torment him becaufe he
groans, has more of the Tyrant than of the Judge, and
favours more of the Officer's Prerogative, than of the
Liberty and Property of the Soldiers. It's the Duty
of the high Officers to look into the Comportment of
the lower ; to ftop thefe Grievances by Punifliment or
Caflieering ; if they wink at fuch Ofienders, God will
not connive at their criminal Indulgence. Lewis the
Fourteenth, in my Prefence, did an Adlion worthy of his
Greatnefs : Two Soldiers were led to Execution, as he
enter'd into the Town ; the poor Wretches cry'd out
Mercy, and the King llopp'd ; he enquir'd the Caufe of
their Punifliment, and when he was told they had left
their Colours, turning to the Prifoners, Friends, faid
he, what mov'd you to leave my Service, were you paid?
They replied, no: He lent for the Officers upon the Spot,
examin'd the Accufation, and finding them guilty, he
torfe their Commiffions, broke their Sv^'ords, and pardon'd
the Prifoners. This Piece of Juitice fhould ftand upon
Record for a Prefident, for an Example to Generals, and
for a Terror to under Officers ; and were it Ibmetimes
pradis'd, I believe Defertion mjght be lefs frequent, and
by confequence Camp-Executions.

VI.
Treat your Soldiers like Men, with Civility, not like
Afles, with Clubs; Cruelty miay break Bones, but will
never heal Faults. I have fee n the Cane raife Indignati-
pn often, but never Sorrow ; it fetches out thoughts of
Revenge, but inflils no purpofe of Amendment. People
may be perfuaded by Reafon, not beaten by Blows out
of their Errors. I was acquainted with a Captain; he
was a Man of Punftilio, and Ceremony, better at his
Tongue than at his Weapon ; he fwore better than he
fought, and was more famous for caning his Company,
than for ftorming Half-moons. This young Huff com-
manded a Serjeant to pay him Refpe6f, and follow'd the
Command with thisquaipt Rodomontade^ B.G. if you doiit -

/'//

i%6 A Supplement to the frfl Tart

ril make a Devil of you. But under his Worfhip's Favour,
his Power anfvver'd not his Will, in fpight of Menace,
the Serjeant remain'd a Man, and a Chriilian, whilft
my young Commander put on the Fiend ; he was in-
deed unfurnifh'd of Horns and cloven Feet, but under
the Shape of a Man he poflefs'd all the Malice of Satan.
He affected Refpedl, and by exading it with Haughti-
nefs, and Empire, he fell into Contempt; for the Com-
pany huzza'd the Expreffion, and burlefqu'd my Gentle-
man by turning it to Ridicule, Nay, the Drollery went
fo far, that the Spark was forc'd to throw up his Com-
mifTion: And thus, inftead of metamorphofing the other
into a Devil, he made a Fool of himfelf. D^?;/*^, with his
Harp, cured Saul, and play'd down the evil Genius that
haunted him ; but certainly Curfes and- Imprecations
have not that healing Quality. A Man may fwear him-
felf into Hell, but he'll Icarce blafpheme another into his
Duty ; this horrid Cuftom muft be banifh'd without Re-
ferve, without Limitation ; it's too foul to be fcreen'd by
any Pretext of Affront or Infolence ; it grates upon hear-
ing ; it's difhonourable to our Almighty Creator, and
dangerous in Example. Can't an Officer right himfelf
without affronting God ? Can't he exa6t Obedience,
without difobeying the Laws of Heaven ? Or has he a
Mind to correal a Soldier's Offence at the Expence of his
own Innocence, and to purchafe Refpedl at the^ Price of
Damnation ?

There are other Means to let People know their Di-
llance, without being ill-natur'd, or impious: Put on a
handfome Behaviour, let the Soldier have his Due. hear
his Grievances with Patience, and redrefs 'cm with Expe-
dition. When he offends, ufe Reproof ofr'ner than the Cane,
and correct not one Fault by committing another. Let
not dnmn'dDog, Devil., or So?2 ofalfhore^ pafs your Lips,
the Di.ile6l is unbefeeming a Gentleman, and below a
Chriflian. Tho' there be a Difference between a private
Centinel and an Officer, yet fuch Language magnifies the
Inequality beyond Proportion, they are of the fame Spe-
cies, and inherit equally the common Prerogatives of the
Kind ; they have the fame Relation to God, toReafon,
and Immortality. The Centinel has five Senfes, the Ge-
neral has no more ; and if the private Soldier be vir-
tuous, and the Officer vicious, the whole Advantage lies
"* on

of the Gentleman Inftnt^ied. 187

on his Side. Indeed one has a Commiflion, but this is
often the EfFed of Chance or Money, not of Merit ;
and though it may fet you upon the higher Ground, it
adds nothing to your real Worth. The Equahty there-
fore being fo even, let not the Treatment be diipropor-
tion'd ; refletfl you fpeak to Men, not to Bealb ; to free-
born Subjcds, not to Slaves.

Be generous and free, give not too much to Familiarity,
nor Hand off in Relerve. Be couragious in the Field, mo-
derate in Converiation ; and if you model your Conduft
by thefe Rules, A4en will efteem your Farts, and reipeft
your Perfon ; but if you intend to baftinado Soldiers in-
to Refpedl, ortohedor 'em into Love, you wall mils of
your Aim. Thefe are the ElTedts of Kindnefs, not of
Violence ; you may, perchance, have their Hats, bun
not their Hearts ; they will fear, but never love you.
Now Fear is commonly the Parent of Hatred, and when
this Paflion has once feiz'd on the Soldiers, I would coun-
fel the Offier to withdraw ; he is lefs fecure among his
Guards, than in the Battalions of the Enemy. For Ha-
tred is daring, and feldom ftiils of doing Mifchief when
it has the Advantage.

VII. ^

heander^ punifh Faults, in God's Name, but with the
Mercy of a Judge, not with the Cruelty of a Tyrant.
Convince the Regiment of your Behaviour, Juftice pro-
nounced the Sentence, not Paflion, and remember Com-
paflion in the heighth of Severity. Leave fome Time
between the Sentence and the Execution ; Vv'ho is brought
in guilty to Day, may be found not guilty to Morrow;
it's never too late to execute a Criminal, but always too
foon to murder an Innocent. Befides, Death is a Mo-
ment on which an Eternity depends. Is it not therefore
a Cruelty beyond the Barbarity of Tyrants to throw a
poor Creature off the Ladder in a Hurry, before he re-
fleds where he is going? Did not Chriit redeem a pri-
vate Centinel, as well as a General ? Becaufe he has for-
feited his Claim to Life, has he no Pretenfion to Heaven?
Give him therefore Time to provide for the Future, that
he may be happy in the next World, tho' he goes out
of this on a Scaffold. Let him have Leifure to furvey
the prefent State of his Soul, to prepare for a Removal,
and to arm himfelf with Sorrow for the fatal Dlovv. Fur-
' \ nifli

i88 A Supplement to the firft Part

nifh him a Divine for Comfort and Inftrudion ; a Maa
under the Apprehenfion and Terror of Death, wants
fome Support; Courage alone will not keep him in an
equal Situation, nothing but an Atheiftical Bravery or
Chriftian Sandtity can fweeten the Paflage, and abate its
Horror ; /. e. to receive the Stroak without Concern,
we muft have led fuch virtuous Lives as give us a firm
Hope of future Blifs, or believe we end in nothing, and
fo {hall neither be capable of Happinefs or Mifery.

I believe few Soldiers, at this Pinch, receive much Re-
lief from the Profpe<fl of their paft Lives : For tho' Vir-
tue be their Bufinefs, it feldom finds a Place in their
Thoughts, much lefs in their Pradlice. In the Summer
their Minds run upon Sieges, Battles, or Plunder, and
are continually on the catch for Booty or Slaughter. In
Winter they plunge into Debauchery, and try, by indulg-
ing Senfe, to blot out the A4emory of paft Fatigues: So
that their Lives are a Tilfue of Rabbery or Riot ; they
live in a State of Sin, and by confequence march on
through daily Tranfgreflions to Damnation.

A poor Creature, who has not finn'd away the Belief of
another World, nor fteel'd his Conicience, muft be ftunn'd
when he fees Death before him, a thoufand unnatural
Crimes within him,' a judge upon the Bench ready to
pronounce the Sentence, and Devils to execute it; this
difmal Profpe<!:l will pa^H his Spirits, and may foonercaft
him into Fits of Defpair,than into Tranfports of Sorrow.
The Devil will eafily perfuade him God is as inexorable
as the Court-Marflial, and that he will fall from the Gib-
bet into unquenchable Flames.

Now a charitable Divine may remove thefe Terrors,
by opening tlie Mercies of God, and the boundlefs Trea-
fures of his Goodnefs; he may bring him to Repentance
by an exprelFive Reprefentation ©f the Torments below,
and of the Joys above ; and will an Officer that profefles
Chriftianity, that knows God will treat him in the next
World, as he deals with his Brother in this, refule fo
fmall a Condefcenfion ?

But if the Criminal be tainted with Atheiftical Princi-
ples, he may, indeed, die without Concern or Apprehen-
fion of the Future; but alas! will the Disbelief of God
exempt him from Judgment, or of Hell, from Fire and
Brimftone .'' Tho' an Atheift places God among the Chi-
mera's,

of th'e Gentleman Jnftruded. iSp

mem's, he is a very real Thing, and tho' he rallies upon
Hell, he will fcarce laugh out his Flames. No, he will
certainly know there is a God by the Sentence of Dam-
nation, and tho' his Reafon dilbwn'd a Hell, Senfe will
confute the Error. Now a little Time, and good Coun-
fel may reclaim luch a Creature, and a precipitated Ex-
ecution will certainly damn him. Is it not worth the
while to make a Tentative at leaft ? If he refufe Advice,
his Milcarriage will lie at his own Door; if you deny him
Time and an Inftrudlor, God vi'ill call it at yours.

Let him alfo, ifpoffible, receive the Holy Sacrament,
the Means inllituted by our Saviour for Salvation are his
Right ; and whofoever invades this. Hands guilty at God's
Tribunal of fomething more hideous than Murder. God
reveng'd the innocent Blood o'i Abel on guilty Cain^ and
will he wink at the Damnation of a Soul ? No, no ; thofe
who fhut the Gate of Mercy againft their Brethren, mure
it up againft themfelves, they provoke God to retaliate
their Cruelty in the next World, and oftentimes in this;
and if he fuffers fuch Monfters to flourifh, we may be
fure he is angry, for prefent Impunity is the deepeft Re-
venge, becaufe it forebodes a future Mifery. Plead not
the Severity of military Laws, no Court of human Ju-
ftice has Power over Souls, thefe come' not within the
Verge of their Jurifdidion. God alone is their lawful
Judge ; to difpenfe Rewards, and ordain Punifhments, is
his Prerogative,

VIII.

Procure a Chaplain, that your Regiment may be train'd
up in the Difcipline of Chrift, as well as oi Mrrs : But
be circumfpedt in the Choice, receive not thole who feek
a San(5luary in the Camp againft the Purfuit of their Bi-
fhops ; fuch Men are more fit for a Jayl, than for the
Pulpit, and rather deferve Penance than Preferment.
Thofe who caft ofFall Care of their own Souls, will fcarce
take to Heart the Salvation of their Neighbour ; and
thofe who run down Virtue in Pradtice, will not heartily
preach it up at the Head of the Regiment. It's more
probable, they will improve thofe Vices in the Army they
took up in Town, and finifli the Debaucheries in Flanden
they only began in England. I law the Chapkin of an
Hanovfrian Regiment run twice the Gaumlet in a pub-
lick Street, and then turi^'dout of hisRegiment for his Be-
haviour.

ipo A Supplement to the firfi Part

havioLir. IirleeJ the Punifhment was extraordinary, but
his iVlanners defcrv'd it, and the Officers concluded no-
thing but a publick Anirnadverfion was able to atone for
the Heinoulhefsof the Scandal. How are Men that want
Reformation likely to reform Soldiers? They may open
the Gate to Diforders, and fcatter the Plague they carry
about 'em, but will never ftop the Current of one Vice,
either by Counfel or Inftrudion.

You mull have a Man of an approv'd Virtue, M'hofe
Example edifies as well as his Tongue, and who, tho*
he preaches well, lives better. A Man that neither flat-
ters the Pride of fome, nor keeps pace with the unwar-
rantable Ambition of others; who neither courts Great-
nefs, nor fawns on Dignity, but is above all the little
Views of Intereft and Pleafure. A Man who hopes for no-
thing, will fear nothing, he will no more pardon Vice in
Commiflion, than in theOntry-Box, and will no more
fuJFer the Excciles of a Colonel, than of a private Sol-
dier. A Man that matches Zeal with Prudence, and
knows how to time Reproof, and nick Exhortation, will
do Vv^'onders, tho' he works no Miracle ; he will neither
vi^relch his Patent out of Arrognnce, nor (brink it out of
Bafenefs and Servility ; but will keep up to his Ghara6i;er,
•and maintain the Dignity of his Poll, and the Preroga-
tive of his Profeffion, .and indeed who does otherwifeex-
poft^^ himfelf to Contempt, renders his Inlhudtions in-
iigniucant, and makes himfelf defpicable and cheap.

What a Reformation would a Chaplain thus equip'u
make in a Regimentf No Vice would withftand his Zeal,
no Sin appear in his Prefence, his Words would be re-
ceiv'd like Oracles by the Soldiers, and the whole Regi-
ment would fear him as a Cerifor, and love him as a Fa-
ther ; and when onc^e a Soldier is taught to live well, he
is fit for any Entcrprize : For whoever dares look the
otlier Vv orld in the Face, will charge thro* all the Ter-
rors of this.

IX.

When the General commands you upon Service, re-
ceive his Orders with SubmiHion, and execute 'em with
Valour J regard iefs the Difficulty of the Enterprize,than
your Duty ; and vvlien you have done your Part, leave
the Event to Providence. Succefs ofteiuimcs lies out of
our Reach, and forfakcs Prudence and Valour to wait

on

of the Gentleman Inflrn^fed. i^i

on Temerity ; lay your Defigns with Wifdom, carry 'em
on with Refolution, and you have difcharg'd your Duty.

Expofe not your Pcrlbn out of a meer Pun6tilio, nor
refufe a Poll out of a Profpedl of Danger ; Life is more
valuable than Grimace, and lefs than Reputation. It's
worth coming into the World to make a handfomeand
honourable Exit, and more creditable for a Cavalier to
fall in the Field, than to come off with Infamy.

I laugh at thofe fiery Hot-fpurs, who (like Salaman-
ders) can only breathe in Smoak and Flames ; they are
never well but when they ftand within an Inch of Ruin ;
they are for trying a Rubber at Loggerheads with Can-
non-Bullets, and for knocking out their Brains againft
Half-Moons and Baftions ; nay, they cannot live out of
the Reach of the Enemy's Batteries, and are ready to ex-
pire out of Fear of living too long ; they dun the General
to be fent upon every Attack, when neither Duty nor
Prudence require their Service, and, like the Indian Wo-
men, who rave to caft themfelves upon their Husband's
Funeral-pile, bear a Repulle with Indignation. Now in
my Judgment this is to miftake Courage for Temerity,
and to place Bravery in Felly.

J, H^. was of this Temper ; he bore a Command in the
Cavalry, yet in fpight of Diffuafion would leave his
Horfe to court Honour on Foot, he florm'd a Counter-
fcarp, and was the firft Man that fell in the Adion ; he
run on without Reafon, and was brought off without
Life, without Reputation; all pitied his Misfortune, tho'
no Body excus'd his Conduit, feme ftiled him brave, but
not one durft venture to call him prudent. Bullets di-
ftinguifh ra{h Volunteers in the Crowd, and Providence
feems to withdraw its Protedtion from Stragglers, and to
leave 'em to the Government of another Influence.

I know indeed we throw this Heat on a Pretence of
Preferment. We mull, cry they, dillinguifh our felves^
from the Crowd, and do more than our Fellows to plead^
Merit. A Soldier indeed mufl look above his own Sta-
tion, he who confines his Defires to a moderate Poll, de-
ferves none ; to be content with a mean Commiinon,
marks a narrow Soul, and ungenerous Inclination ; it's
a Symptom of more Flegm than Heat, and that he is ra-
ther cut out for a Shop, than for the Camp. Diilinguiih
therefore your fclf, in God's Name, but affect not to

be

ijp2 A Supplement to the firft Fart

be remarkable for Folly: Tho' BethUm be in the Way tiS
Hogfden, certainly it lies out of the Road to Promotion,
Lite was given by our Almighty Creator for a noble End,
and therefore we mull not expofe it fooliflily ; I would
no more throw it up out of a Bravado, than out of a Pet,
nor facrifice it rafhiy in a Fight, more than in a Duel.

But when a noble Occafion prefents ; an Occafion that
will ftand the Ordeal of Reafon, and con be pleaded to
Advantage, tho'it be not follow'd by Succefs, let it not
flip by, but lay hold of it with Joy and Tranlport, and
thank the General for the Honour of the Opportunity.
Exert aRefolution equal to the Difficulty, and do to the
height of the Enterprize. Difcover nothing that is lowj
nothing that is boifterous, nothing that argues Fear, oi:
betrays Prefumption ; be more folicitous how to go on^
than how to come oft'. Kind take a greater Care of your
Carriage, than of your Life. Thefe Occafions are not
rare in our modern Camps ; they open a fiiir Profpeft to
Preferment by giving Matter to Courage, and Merit to
work upon, and tho' we fall, it's in the Difcharge of our
Duty; and fuch a Man may look this World in the Face,
and, Vv'haL is more, the other too, if nothing elfe hinders.
To die in the Defence of our Poft is honourable in the
light of Men, and of God alfo, if we refine our Motive,
and difpute our Ground out of a Point of Duty : Nay,
it's aneafy Paffage, tho' violent, for a Bullet or a Rapier
does our Bufinels more gently than a Fever.

X.

If your Merit raifes you to the noble Degree of Gcne-
rql, let your Zeal for your Prince fly as high as your Sta-
tion ; Favours call for Gratitude, and a Subjedlcan only
return this natural Duty by Service. -Re'member in the
firft Place you are to adt as a publick Perfon, and there-
fore no private Defign muft regulate your Conduct. The
Honour of a brave A6cion may carry you oft', but your
Mafter muft go away v/ith the Profit.

High Pofts are intoxicating, they often fly up to the
Brain, and turn our Heads; they take away the Memo-
ry of our former State, and perfuade us we are not Men
fo foonaswe become great. Tho' we are never fo big,
fuch a Conceit makes us little, and gives a convincing
Proof, that our Judgment falls fliort of our Dignity. A-
las! thefe ornamental Privileges are but a decent Var-

iiifh

of the Gentleman lnflru5ledi i^jj

bifh that lies on the Superficies ; they are a Royal Im-
preffipn ftampt upon us ; but this changes not the Metal,
this gives no intrinfick Value, but either fuppofes Merit
or Favour : Befides, fuch an over-weening Conceit of
your lelf is a Mark of Pride. Now this, tho' pradis'd by
all, is hated by every one, it tempts even thofewho made
you great, to make you lefs, and draws your Friends to
be Enemies, it will alienate your Officers, and if you
have not their Hearts, you will want their Hands upon
Occalion. For whoever wiihes another lower, will en-
deavour to bring him down.

Beware of Rafhnefs ; this is the Bane of Generals, yet
they eafily flip into it, becaufe it often carries the Appear-
ance, and borrows the very Name of Courage ; how-
ever, it's of another Race, and nothing allied to that Vir-
tue; the one defcends in a diredl Line from Prudence,
the other from Folly and Prefumption. Succeis feldonl
waits on Temerity, twice I find it profperous and trium-
phant, in AJia under Alexander the Great, and in G, under
Aurelius the Firft, (as Curtius notes) by his Rafhnefs
won an Empire, and the fecond almoft loll one. But
thefe Examples are rare, and the Captain that frames his
Condudl by theirs, fleers by Hazard, and will not likely
find Fortune fo favourable.

Go upon the furefl Method Prudence and Thought can
fuggeft; leave nothing, ifpolTible, to chance : It's true,
indeed you will not engage fo often, but then you will
ifeldomer be overcome. Now, methinks, it's wifer to keep
one's Ground, than out of Prefumption and Eagernefs to
lofe it. Take therefore as fure Meafures as if you put
no Confidence in Valour ; but when you come to Adion,
fight as if you trufted in your Sword alone. Courage
may be trepann'd, but feconded by Caution and Gondudl:,
it's invincible. But if Numbers over-top you, if Chance
out-wits Prudence, and Multitude bears down Virtue, in
fine, if you are forc'd to abandon the Field, and to leave
Vidlory^ behind,* you may carry ofF your Honour un-
touch'd, and may fland the Stroke of Satyr or Calumny
without a Blufh.

Fortune is unflable, neither conftant to her Friendsj
iior implacable to her Enemies, never long in the fame
Situation, never tiue to the fame Intereflj now on this
Sidej now en that;, but faithful to neither, and fufpe£tei

Q by

i5>4 ^ Supplement to thefirft Fart

by all. You muft therefore expeft a Mixture of bad
and good Succefs, now Victory will perch on your Stan-
dards, now 'twill fly over to your Enemies; Ibmetimes
you will conquer, and fometiines you will be overcome.
Generals always march in a Circle of Profperity and
Misfortune; let not one fwell your Confidence too big,
nor the other Ihrink your Courage ; neither prefume nor
defpond ; in the one State fear a Check, in the other hope
for an Advantage.

A Vidory that intoxicates the Conqueror is more dan-
gerous than a Defeat, it difarms Caution, inftills Negli-
gence, and lulls us afleep with a traiterous Security ;
now whofoever lies under thcfe Difadvantages, Hand at
the Mercy of an Enemy ; and tho' he leads an Army of
Lions, 'twill be routed by another of Stags.

What loft U. M. at To. but this haughty Humour ?
Succefs had turn'd his Brain, and difmounted his Rea-
fon ; he fought a Battle, and won Applaufe, but tho' he
brought ofFX/. /l-f. he left the General behind. He was
no more tlie fame Man, his ufual Prudence abandon'd
him, the Vapours of Pride fmoak'd and fmother'd him
out of Counfe! and Caution, fo that at 'To. he loft the Day
before the Fight began. Never any Man rang'd his Men '
with lefs Judgment, nor took more diltidvantageous
Ground ; one Wing was unable to fuccour the other, the
Foot was of no fupport to the Horfe ; one would have
thought he play'd Booty, and refolv'd to try the Chagrin
of a Defeat.

Onthe other fide, a Captain muft not fink under a
Misfortune : To fuppofe all loft, is a fhort way to lofe all
in earneft. When Fortune is at a low EbH, expedl it will
foonflow, and when it frowns, hope it will quickly fmile.
The brave Duke IVeymar receiv'd a difmal Check from
the I.mperialifts, but tho' his Troops were overthrown, his
Heart*. was not overcome; nay, his Cournge rofe with his
Fall, his Pulfe beat higher, and he refolv'd the next Day
to wafli out the Difgrace of the former with the»Blood of
his Conquerors : He kept his Word, and gain'd an intire
Viftory, nnd Brifac^ as ihc Price of Refolution: So that
the News of his Vidory overtook that of his Lofs, and
his Glory ported thro' Europe as fwift as his Misfortune.
Had he not lain under a Cloud, his Merits had fliined
lefs; the Dilgrace of the firft Day redoubled the Glory
of the fecond. ' i hate

of the GentlbmXn InjlruEled. 15)5

i hate thofe Generals who drill on Wars out of Pride
and Intereft ; they may be good Soldiers, but cannot be
good Chriftians; they make the Intereft of the Prince
truckle to their own, and facrifice the publick Tranqui-
lity to their private Ends. Provinces muft welter in
Blood, and Cities flame, to crowd your Anti-chamber
with Vifitants that fawn on your Dignity, not on your
Perfon ; and are as ready to bow to your Lacquey, had
he a Commander's Staff, as to your felf. Muft People
groan under all the Pangs of Poverty to pay your Safe-
guards ? And agonize under Hunger to furnifh your Ta-
ble ? That you ma/ be neceflary to the State, the Sub-
ject muft be fleec'd by Taxes, and Commerce fink to
raife your Fortune. Perchance fuch a Condud may nick
with Policy, but it bids Defiance to the Gofpel." The
Marfhal de Byron- was of this Humour ; for when his Son
profecuted a Victory, Hah., "cries he, have you a mind to
plant Cabbages at Byron ? This Man had much of your
petty Surgeons, who never clofe a Patient's Wound, till
they have drain'd his Purfe. He had drawn much Chri-
ftian Blood, and in the End fpilt his own in a Skirmifli.
Believe me, Leander^ it's more glorious to end a War
with Advantage, than to continue it with Bravery ; and
I would more refpe6l a General without Attendance in a
Hackney, that has oblig'd a Nation with a Peace, 'than
him who rides at the Head of an Army in Triumph, and
plunges it into an expenfive War.

This is a Summary of your Duty, and I could wifh
our Soldiers would fpend fome cool and ferious Thoughts
upon the Subjeft ; they would not, I am confident, fight
worfe,' and might die better. How often have I pitied
the Biindnefs cJf our Men ? they encounter'd Danger like
Lions, they fought like Heroes, and expir'd like Beafts ;
they had no Concern for this Life, and no Thought of
the other ; Ignorance had fo powerfully feized on their
Underftanding, they quite forgot the Intereil of Eternity.
Ah, Leander^ if you value not Life, be tender at leaftof
your Soul, it was made for Glory, why will you give
it over to Torments?

Lean. Thefe Precepts, if obligatory, are very feafon-
able ; but our Officers will not eafily own they concern
the Camp ; I am fure they are not in ufe, and am apt to
think, they have been repeal'd by a Court-Marflial, or are

O 2 fallen

ip6 A Supplement to the firft Fart

fallen by Prefcription. Nay, the Camp, as well asB/^-
Fryars, Is a privileg'd Ground, and as Mr. Hohi?s main-
tain'd the Gofpel did not bind any Common wealth till
receiv'd by the M.igiftrate, lb Ibme are of Opinion it *
mult not come within a League of the Army, without a
Pafs-port from the General. Indeed, a red Coat Icems to
exempt us from the Incumbrance of divine Precepts, for
w^e govern our Conduft not by the Civil, but wholly by
the Canon Law. Our Buiinefi is to make the moll of
this Life, without any Thought of the future; we feed
high, till our Purfe runs low ; we pamper Nature, and
drink down Reafon, dice away our Pay, and fend a File
of Curi'ts after it ; and thus we level away one Part of
our Tim.e, and blafpheme away the other, till a Bullet
or a Stab packs us away into the other World without
Warning, and, whatisworfe, without Preparation.

Eiifei'. Without Preparation do you fay ? That's a Mi-
ftake; for you mud know, our Men of War have voted
a T/iikiJ}j Principle free Denizon of the Gofpel: Fiz.
That zvhuever dies for his Prince^ fujfers for Religion; this
Peifuafion I afl'ure you gets Ground, and may in Time
be improv'd to a fundamental Point of the Soldier's Re-
ligion. When I was in the Army, an Officer, the very-
Scandal of the Camp, was v/ounded, he had no Senfe
of God, no TiniSlure of Religion, and his Life fquar'd
exadly with his Belief. Well, Tom, faid I to his Man,
How does thy Mafter?

He is in Reft, reply'd he.

In Reft, faid I, did he make his Peace with God ?

No, anfwered Tom^ he breathed out his Soul with a
Curk". Bjtt he dy^d /« the Kiag'sService.

In the King's Service, faid I, is that fufficient?

Sufficient, reply'd To???, ay, my Life for yours : Why,
Sir, hediedinthe Bed of Honour. The Simplicity of
the Fellow forced me to fmile, and his Ignorance to weep.
He had heard his Betters preach this Do6trine, and he
efpous'd it without Examen ; and indeed it's the Officer's
Interefl to fend it round, for if once it be well eftablifh'd.
Recruits will come in Shoals without beat of Drum, or
the Trouble of kidnapping: For, I affiure you, good Pay,
Pleafure, and Impunity, and Heaven in the Rear, are
powerful Attraftives. Who would not venture a Stab,
or charge up to a Cannon's Mouth for fuch a crowd of
Advantages? But

of the G E N TL E M ;^ N Inflriitfed. i ^y

But, alas! Sir, when People fport with Religion, ar.d
burlefque thofe Things they {hould revere, it's a ^A-m
they have difcarded Principles, and are relblv'd to die
like the Bcafis that perifh.

Leu'id. Do you think R.eligion is hnniili'd the Camp?
Why, 5ir, I fear we have rather too much than too little,

Euj'eb. Xhe Camp is divided into two Bodies, yet
the' they run different Ways they meet in the End. Soitie
are for all Religions, and then how can they he in the
wrong ? Thofe Gentlemen's Church,like a Chedder-cheeje^
is made of the Milk of one and twenty Parifhes. Others
t^eny all Religion, and thofe can hardly be in the Right ;
yet after all, at the Bottcm they ;.re alKBrethren, and of
the fame Communion. For Soldiers, in Te-i^'s Divinity,
whoever they are, and whatever they are, provided they
ferve the King, are God's People, and the Wolves and
Sheep make up the fame Fold.

But, in gocd earneft. Sir, fetting Raillery apart, thofe
Notions of Religion are hideous; in a poor Brafilian they
move Pity and Compaflion, but I cannot hear an £«-
glijh man wtntiwch Stuff without Indignation. Example
and Immorality have fpread the (^lontagion, why may
not the virtuous and regular Behaviour of Officers flop
the Infedlion ? Virtue, I beliere, is catching, as well as
Vice, and as capable of being dilated b}' Example j
the Matter-Js of Concern, and deferves a Trial, and I
know no Man more qualified to begin the Experiment
than your felf : Your Poll gives you Authority and Re-
fpe6l, and as it raifes you above the Crowd, fo it expo-
fes your A6tions to the View of the Fublick, and if they
breathe Piety, the Perfume may reach and charm your In-
feriors ; and if once they gain fo far as to be approv'd,
Imitation follows ; for the Pafl'age from one to the other
is fhort and eafy.

Leand. I will endeavour to live up to the Principles
of Religion, and to wafh out the Stains of my former
Life by a thorow Reformation. I will countenance Vir-
tue, and keep under Difcipline the publick Profeflbrs of
Impiety, and proclaim Regularity the Way to Promo-
tion in my Regiment.

Eufeb. U you can draw over to your Refolution the
great Officers of the Army, the Method will take. Con-
demn Debauchery ,once or twice to the Gauntlet,and'twill

O 3 fculk

i5>8 A Supplement to the firft Part

fculk in the dark, and withdraw to Privacy, for who
will dare to abet it in Publick, when he knows he fhall
be mark'd with Infamy, and feel the juft Indignation of
his Officer ? And then if Goodnefs be rewarded in this
World, as well as in the other ; if there be no way to
rife but by Virtue, and he be the higheft in the General's
Favour, who is mqft in God's, Men will carry on their
Pretenfions not by Blufteror Blafphemy,but by the more
warrantable Methods of Piety. They will make Good-
nefs the Step to Greatnefs, and deferve a Commiffion be-
fore they have it. Nay, I dare promife Succefs to all
your Enterprizes, if once the Army be modell'd by. Vir-
tue ; for belides, that God watches over his Friends, and
takes 'em under his Protedlion; Vice is a Coward, and
no Man dares look Death in the Face, that fears to be
damned. But Virtue that dreads nothing in the next
World, fears nothing in this but Sin.

I wifh you Succefs, and altho' your Defign mifcarrieSj
the Undertaking is heroical ; for it's more noble to ftorm
Impiety, than to carry- a Town, and I had rather bring
a Regiment to the Service of God, than force a Province
to the Obedience of a Prince. You muft expe6l Oppo-
iition, for Vice is ftubborn, aviid lofes Ground by Inches.
Nothing but Force an^ Conftancy can gain upon it,
Flefh and Blood will ftrike in with it,Cuftom and Exam-
ple will go over to the flmie Intereft ; but if you bear up
with Refolution, if you carry on the Attack with Cou-\
rage, and flag not in the Execution, the Advantage will
lie on your Sidej and tho' the Vidory be not compleat,
the Glory of the Adion will. Well, Sir, continued Eu-
febius with a bniile, we have taken a fufficient View of
the Camp, it's Time now to return to Court.

Lean. I wait upon you, and fhiUl be glad of 3'our
Company ; for tho' the Queen has been pleas'd to favour
me lately with an Office, yet I am unacquainted with
the Ground, and a meer Ignoramui in the Ceremonial of
Behaviour. I fear fometimes to be too much for Cere-
mony, fometimes too little, and that I drop Smiles when
I fhould letfiill a Frown.

D i A'

^/ it^^ G E N T L E M A N Injlvu^ted, ip^

DIALOGUE IX.

Eufebius inftru^s Leander in the Duties of a Courtier.

0

^Eufeif.*T^iiE Court: has been the Subjedl of a thoufand
w •*■ Satyrs, and the Theme of as many Panegy-

ricks ; and if Jnvedtive has mifreprefented it on the one
Hand, Flattery has over-flourifh'd it on the other. If
we believe thofe, like the Sea, it's in a perpetual Moti-
on, and as infamous for Shipwrecks, as ■SylLi and Cba'
rybdis ; it's a kind of a Turkijh Mnrmora inhabited by
Slaves, who have loft their Wits with their Liberty, and
hug their Chains becauie they glitter : In fine, it's the
Palace of Vice, the Seat of Mifery ; and if by Chance
Virtue fhews it's Face, it's only faluted with Sarcalm and
Raillery.

But if we credit its Admirers, Lord how the Chara- .
fter varies ! one would think Men could not draw fo
different Features in the fame Face. Thofe Gentlemen
reprefent it with another Air; every Stroak marks Great-
nefs, every Dafh of the Pencil A/Iajefty, and Charm ; it's
a Commonwealth (like that of the li<»^ans) compos'd of
Grandeur and A-Ierit The firft-rate OfHcers are Princes,
and the loweft Knights at leaft. The- Air, like that of
Ireland^ is mortal to Toads and Spiders, Nothing that
difobliges the Eye, or grates upon the E;u-, or ruffles the
vSenfes, can pafs the Porter's Lodge. Care, Sollicitude,
and Melancholy have no Accel's, and thofe Mihfortunes
that wait on other People, fly from Courtiers, fo that
they only know Miferies by others Ruin. In fine, in one
Man's Fancy the Court is a Hell, in another's a Hea-
ven. We are miferable in it if we believe fome, and can-
not be happy out of it, if we credit others.

But with Submiflion, all are miftaken, fome throw too
much Dirt upon the Court, others too much Luftre;
fome paint it too black, others too v/hite, and they are
no lefs guilty who magnify its 'Faults, than thofe who
enlarge beyond meafure upon its Perfedioi-is. For, in a
Word, the Court is not all Guilt, nor all Innocence; it's
llain'd with great Vices, and adorn'd with great Virtues;
|t teaches to live well, and tempts to do ill. Some make ^

O \ in

200 A Svvvtiu^'i^T to the frJlTart

in it great Fortunes, jind others Ruin greater. There is
Pleafure, and there is Pain, Glory and Reproach, Hope
lodges in one Appartment, and Defpair in another ; in
fine, it's"* Soil over-run with Poifons, and fertile in
Antidotes: So that a Man muft ftand upon his Guard,
and walk with Referve and Caution. He muft beware"
of a treacherous Confidence, and arm himfelf againft a^^^
cowardly Pufillanimity. I doubt not, Sir, but you have
examin'd the Map of this new World, and made a Pro-
vifion of Neceflaries for your Voyage ; you are embark'd
for the Temple of Honour, the Road is intricate, and
befet with Dangers, the Journey long.

Leand. I have, God be thank'd, the Education of the
Univerfity and Academy; I handle my Sword not ill;
Corelli has taught me to play, and Abefio fing ; and be-
fides, lam a Gentleman: Thefe Advantages fuit with my
Circumftances, and I prefume they will in Time improve
my Fortune, and raife me to the Poft of Honour.

£a/e'^..Nay, Sir, your Equipage is glorious, you have
laid in with Profufion for your Journey, and if you mif-
carry. Fortune alone muft bear the Blame of the Difap-
pointment. A Man that pleads for Preferment with Ef-
cutcheon and Title, with the Sword in one Hand, and fuch
Accomphfhmentsin theother, muft undoubtedly carry the
Suit : For here are Arguments of all Complexions ; fome
are tipt with Authority, others flafh Terror, and fome
again flioot Charms. Now unlefs her Majefty's Breaft
be faced with Steel, flie will yield to fuch battering En-
gines, and never difpute the conferring of a Dignity
courted with fo much Bravery, and woo'd with fo much
Harmony and Sweetnefs.

But for all that. Sir, I would counfel you to procure
more proper Inftruments to work with, for I fear thefe
will not do. I have known Gentlemen well born wait
at Court the moving of the Waters feven long Winters,
and yet they fared no better than the lame Man in the
Gofpel, fome Body always ftepp'd before 'cm ; fo that they
were forc'd to retreat into the Country with a light Purfe,
and a heavy Heart, and to rig out their leaky Vefl'el for
a new Voyage ; and tho' you are a Mafter at your Ra-
pier, you muft not build too much upon thisAdvantage ;
for tho' it may be of Ufe in the Field, it's of none in the
Couit; Men do not tilt themfelves into Pofts inour Age,

nor

of the Gentleman Jnfni5ied. 201

nor hew and hack out Fortunes like Knights-Errant in
Romances. Your Scowrers look well in Taverns, and
have fome Repute at the Play-houfe, but none in Court ;
here People are for fleeping in a whole Skin, and for Ipin-
ning out the Thread of Life to the laft Extent of Nature:
"They'll not hazard a fingle Pulie, but upon good Caution,
and extraordinary Payment ; in fine, Sir, they are of Opi-
nion, that a Sword hangs more conveniently by ihe Side,
Ihan in the Lungs.

Mufick indeed is a pretty Accomplifliment, and had
you the Touch of old T'/'wi^/^'faj, 1 would be bound for
your Advancement; for this Artift tied ///c'Ar.',7?i/t'r's Paf-
fiops to his Fingers end, he could phy the Conquerour
into the Tranfports oi Hercules jur ens, and then take hitn
down in a Moment. Now had you fuch a commanding
Stroke, I conceive you might play, or fing your felf into
her Majefty's Favour; but the Secret is loft, or icw im-
prove to this Pitch of Perfeftion; for tho' we have a Lift
of thofe who have rifen by the Law, I cannot find one,
who owes his Title to the Fiddle, or tlie Voice. Some-
times indeed a Man may play his Way to an Heirefs's
Heart, but thefe Adventures are rare, and it's hard to
chop upon the Dorion that will find the Way from the
Tympanum to the Soul ; for tho' the Cut be fliort, it's in-
tricate, and the Harmony faints in the Pallage.
Leand. Pray, Sir, appoint me Tools to work with,
Eufeb. Lay in a good Provifion of Humility, furniih
your lelf with Patience for feven Years, at leaft, and for-
get not a competent Stock of Aflurance.

Leand. You are upon a Vein of Banter, or have a
Mind to divert me. Why, Sir, I would as foon appear
at Court in my Grand-father's RufF, or trunk Hofe, as in
this outlandifh Equipage. Indeed Aflurance is the proper
Growth of the Court Soil, it thrives there to- Admira-
tion ; but Humility and Patience require another Climate.
Eufeb. There is no Banter, no Pleafantry in the Cafe.
I am upon a ferious Pin, and counfel you again to pro-
vide your felf with Humility and Patience; nay, an or-
dinary Pittance, let me tell you, will not carry you
through; youmuftbid fair for the Humility o[ Paul, ana
aim at the Patience of j^o^, without thefe Inftruments you
will never beat out a Fortune, you will fink in the Enter-
prize, and after a feven Years Jaunty find your felf in the
Place you fet out, Leand,

201 A Supplement to thefirjl Part

Lean. A Reafon if you pleafe. My Lord L. Hands in ■
a high Poll, and makes a fluttering Figure, yet I never
heard he was a great Pretender to Humility j nay, I am
inform'd he is Pride in Life, and Vanity in Perfon ; he
keeps no Correfpondence with his Friends, and, as if he
had taken a Morning's Draught oi Lethe ^ remembers the*
pall no more than he forefees the future ; to conclude, he
is within an Ace of forgetting his Family, and if he ileps <
a Peg higher, he will certainly forget himfelf.

And then why ftould Patience be fo neceflary for me ?
Has not /C. bore all before him without it? This little
Muftard-Seed is grown up into a Tree, and gives Cover
and Protedlion to twenty fmall Infeds, that in good
Time may return Ingratitude for the Favour. Now this
Gentleman is not only void of Patience, but even of all
Pretenfions to it, a meer Weather- Cock, that looks Eaft
and Weft in a Moment, and turns Tail to all the Points in
the Compafs ; he is fo far from executing a noble Defign,
that he has not the Patience to lay onej and this fickle
Diftemper has got fo furpriling an Afcendant over him,
that he will not even take the Pains to think. But if you
take Patience for a Virtue, that enables a Man to fufFer
Contrarieties with Calmnefs, and Equality of Temper,
he is a meer Stranger to it, and as unacquainted as with
the great Mogul, or Prejlor John. A Gnat by Chance
Tickled his Cheek, the Man flew out into all the Extra-
vagances of Paflion, he fell upon the poor Infedt's Family
with all the Heat of Rage and Anger; he rogued and
rafcal'd the innocent Animal, and then Son-of-a-whor'd
it like a Scavinger; and tho' I endeavour'd to dilcourfe
down the Fogue, and to philofophize the Gentleman into
Terms of Moderation, his Choler was too hard for Argu-
ments, till he feized on the Criminal, and condemn'd it
for a M.ute to the Prefs. Nor was he more bearing with
his own Species, I have feen him fwagger at a Footman
for faying he was at Home^ and brow- beat his Porter for
faying he was not\ he adted always by Contraries, fo
that ibme thought his Pleafure was to be diipleas'd, and
that he never was in Humour but when he was out of it.
Now fuch a Behaviour looks as if he was confcious of
his own Demerits, and that he had nothing but Outfide
and Clamour, and bad Nature to make him confiderable.
Yet this Man has put-ftript his Neighbours, and left 'em

' out

of the Gentleman Inflru^ied. 203

out of Sight, he tumbles no more on the low Ropes, but
vaults on the high ; and tho' he was once below Con-
tempt, he may (hortly foar above Envy.

Ettfeb. One Swallow makes no Summer^ and one Inftance
will not bear an univerlal Inference. Such Conclufions •
are not to be trufted, we are in an Age of Difcoveries on
Land as well as by Sea, and if a few have fleer'd thro' a
North-Eaft Paflage, i. e. 2. ftiorter cut to Preferment,
others muft double Ihe Cape of Good Hope i this is the
beaten Road, and tho' it be longeft, it's the moft fecure
way to Honour. Once more therefore, let me advife
you to lay in a good Fund of Humility and Patience.

Lean. I cannot yet be convinc'd of the Neceffity of this
Provifion '; nay, methinks I may jog fairly on without it.

Eufeb. Not convinc'd ? Pray attend ; muft you not
fawn on this Favourite, and bow to the other ? iVluft not
you fly to his Levee., and make as many apifh Cringes as
a French Dancing- Mafter to this Rifing-Sun? Nay, with
the old Perjians., you muft commence Idolaters, and in-
cenfe this glaring Planet with all the Perfumes of Flat-
tery and Affe6lation. You muft place his Courage above
Alexa-ider'^s., his Conduit above defar's., and his Policy
above the greateft Minifters of State. You muft efpoufc
his Sentiments, humour his' Inclinations, excufe his
Vices, magnify his Virtues, and turn all his Follies into
Apothegms j for you muft wind your felf into his Fa-
vour before you can enter into Service, and become his
Slave to pretend to be his Creature. Nay, you muft
creep to Valet de Chumbres., fee Pages, and bend to Com-
mis, who have nothing conliderable but an Office, no-
thing great but Pride and Brutality.

In a certain Court, I had the Fortune to be acquaint-
ed with a Duke ; he defired my Company to a A-Iini-
fter of State upon Bufinefs.but the Bci/bavj was indifpos'd,
i. e. not to be accofted ; however out comes a petty Scri-
vener with a Pen in his Ear (or to ipeak in the Court
Diale6l) an under Secretary ; the Gentleman was fo
ftarcht, fo formal, and fo fupercilious, that I miftook
him for the Mafter. His Grace faluted him to the Ground,
and in a Moment run through all the Difcipline of a
Dancing- School, he plied the Commis with Vollies of
Compliments, out comes firii tres humble, tres obedi^J/'anc
treads upon the Heels of the former, and f^lei leads up

the

204 ^ SUPPLEMENT to the firft Part

the Rear. Office^ I allure you, overtopt Grace ; and the

Pen had the Advantage of the Sword. The Mufhroom
flood on Tiptoe, and returned Monjieur le Due this (hort
Oracle, On fongera avotre Affaire. The Promife called
for an Acknowledgment, and the noble Peer paid it with
Profufion and Intereft. He ftoopt fo low, that at laft I
apprehended he was laying down his Cordon Blue for a
Livery. At our Return, Well, Monfieur, f^iid I, Au-
diences run high in this Country, and Promifes are tax'd
at unconfcionable Rates : Pretendants are put under ex-
ceffive Contribution, and you mud regard Intereft above
Honour, why elfe do you proftitute Quality to To vile
a Wretch ? For my part, I think, you have purchafed his
Favour, and were I in your Circumftances, I would ne-
ver defcend fo loW to foar higher. No, Sir, I fcorn to
trample on a Peafant, and as much to fneak to a Sultan.
My Duke lafht at an extravagant Rate the Pride of that -
Vermin, and fwore he would lit on his Skirts ; healledg'd
for his Excufe, Cullom, and palliated his Submiffion with
the Neceflity of his Affairs. This put me in Mind of
what Cyprian fays to Donatus. Behold that Courtier ; how
he fits in Scarlet \ Did you but know how many Suhmijfions
unworthy of his Rank it has coji him ? How many Affronts ?
How often he has befiegcd the Gates of Favourites^ and run
before the Coaches of dtfdainful Princes \ you would rather
pity his Perfon, than envy his Fortune ? Jn fine, Leander,
you muft take it as a Pujlulatum^ that honourable Pofts
are not entail'd on Merit, that many Perfons well fur-
nifli'd for Employment, go out of the World as obfcure-
,ly as they came in, merely, becaufe they will not make
themfelves lefs to become greater, nor defcend below
the level of Gentlemen to obtain a Patent of Peerage.
You may learn by this, that Courtiers zvtGens fervi-
tuti nata^ as well as the Romans in T/'^er/ax's Time. Tho'
they maintain their Dignity with Haughtinefs and Em-
pire, they purchafe it with Condefcenfion and Submif-
fion ; and that tho' they are proud to Excefs, when their
Babel is built, they are humble beyond Meafure, when
they provide Materials to rear in.

It's a fuperfluous Piece of Labour to prove the Ne-
ceflity of Patience, the Matter is beyond Difpute, and
as clear as Experience and Fa6l can make it. You re-
member the Anfwer an old French Courtier return'd a

Toungfier^

of the Gentleman Inftru^ted* 205

Toungfler^ who was very inquifitive to know how he
Hiould behave himfelf at Ferfailles. Receive^ faid he,
daily Injuries with Indifference, and pay /Iffronts with
Thanks: You mult pra^life this Lellbnifyou intend to
thrive: for as I have told you. Merit and Reward go not
always together, one would think fome blind Deity in-
fluenc'd the Court, and that all things were manag'd by
Hazard or Partiality ; you will fee a Man of Parts turn'd
over to the Kitchen^'An^ a Fop fneak into the Bed-chamber ;
a Man of Brains fliall be dubb'd a Fool, and my Lord
Littlewit call'd to the Counfel ; one kick'd out of Flay be-
caufe he is Loyal, and another taken into Favour becaufe
he is a Traitor; in fine, one ihall make his Fortune at
his firft Appearance, and another fhall ruin his by conti-
nual Waiting. Now will not fuch Proceedings put the
moll mafculine Patience to the Trial ? And muft not his
Humour be very paffive or infenfible, that is thus pafs'd
by without Regard? This may be your Cafe, Sir; for
altho' you plead Nobility, Breeding, and Deferts, you
will founder, unlefs Recommendation, Favour, and Ca-
price alfo help you forward. I omit perfonal Affronts
without End, and InciviUties without Number ; thefe
Ragoufts lie hard on a Gentleman's Stomach, and nothing
can carry 'em off but a tried Patience.

Leand. Seeing Promotion goes fo much upon thefe
Virtues, what if I fhould make a turn into Flanders^ and
take up my Winter Qiiarters with the Capucins ? I fancy
their courfe Habit and Fare would tame Nature, and
drudge all my Pafiions into Difcipline and Obedience.

Eufeb. You need not pals the Sea for Abafements, nor
expofe your Perfon to be convey'd to Dunkirk Prifons,
to find Materials for Patience to work upon ; Occafions
lodge under your own Roof, and you meet them daily at
St. James''s in the Anti-chamber : The Court reads LelTons
of Humility and Patience, as well as the Convent^ and
provides more frequent Opportunities for Pradlice : Op-
portunities, I fay able to make Saints, nay, Martyrs,
did you but take the Pains to fuffer like Chriftians, and
not like thedamn'd with all the Pangs of Blafphemy and
Defpair; but by Mifapplication you undergo all the
Toil of Virtue without tailing of Pleafure, you grafp
at Shadows, and hold nothing but Wind and Vapour.
The Crofs of the bad Thief is your Lot in this World,

and

2o6 \A Supplement to thefrft Part

and God fend the Brimftone of the rich Man be not your
Inheritance in the next.

LeaK. I am but a Stranger to the Court, and have
not made a full Difcovery of the Country ; however, I
perceive Men paint as well as Ladies, that the outfide
has noRefemblancewith the Infide, that when Joys flows
on the Face, Grief, Rage and Defpair often prey on the
Heart, and that the Soul hangs on Racks, tho' the Bo-
dy lies ftretch'd on Down ; when many Pretenfions meet
in the fame Point, Affections vary, and becaufe one car-
ries off the Prize, twenty go away with Difappointment
and Mortification; and fuch Occafions offer themfelves
fo frequently, and they imprint fo lively a Senfation,
that Nature mufl fink under the Torment, unlefs an un-'
ufual Indolence, or an extraordinary Patience fupport it.
So that I am of your Opinion, that Virtue is the befl
Qualification for a Courtier ; this alone fweetens the Vi-
ciflitudes of bad Fortune, and allays the intoxicating Va-
pours of good ; it keeps us in an equal Temper, and
teaches us to gain by our Lofles •, and tho' it permits us to
be unhappy, it hinders us from being miferable. But if
you pleafe, Sir, ftand off no longer in Generals : Favour
me with fome particular Maxims, that immediately re-
gard my Condudl.

Eufeh. Let your Pretenfions be Chriflian, and your
Meafures juft ; leave not Confcience for a genteel Em-
ployment, nor charge thro' thick and thin for the fake
of Money or Honour. To refign Innocence for an Of-
fice, is to fet too great a Value upon the one, and to
under-rate the other. Start fair, and carry on the Con-
tefl with Generofity, and never way-lay a Rival in the
dark, nor trepan him by the unmanly Methods of Trea-
chery, Calumny, or Detradion : Such a Condudl is as
bafe as it's finful, and favours more of the T'urk than of
the Chrlftian ; it's a Mark you fear more his Merit than
you rely on your own, and that you defpair to carry
the Poll, if you put the Succefs to the ifiiie of Worth.
Alexander fcorn'd to fteal a Vidlory by Surprize or Stra-
tagem, he difputed it with the Sword at mid-day, and
chofe rather to hazard an Empire in the fight of the
Sun, than to fubdue twenty in the dark ; in fine, h(%
would have Vaiour wfear the Crown, not Cowardice;
and refufed to be gffiat^ than Z)«rw, unlefs he were alfo

more

of the Gentleman InJiruSied. 107

tnore deferving : This was a noble Emulation, hazard-
ous indeed, but handfome ; here was nothing mean,
nothing infidious, but all Gallantry and good Nature.
Follow this Model, drive to raife your felf by thofe
Means honefty dares own, take not one Step that looks
like Undermining or Circumvention, and apply no In-
llrument that fhines not true upon the Touchftone of
Honour and Confcience.

11.
Keep your Pretenfions within Compafs, fufFer 'em not
to mount too high ; if ycu give Ambition the Rein, 'twill
carry you too far, and may let you down in a Precipice :
Too much Sail overfets a fhip, the Canvas muft be
proportioned to the Vellel : Some People's Psrts are
drawn lefs than others, they are not caft in the fame
Mould, their Capacities are not large enough to hold
a great Freferment, and the very Attempt lays open their
Inabilities, and demonllrates their Temerity out-fhoots
their Prudence, and that their Strength bears no Propor-
tion with their Prefumption ; and when a young Gentle-
man fets out under fuch a Difadvantage, it's odds he'll
founder before he comes to his Journey's End. The Bold-
nefs of the Enterprize will awake the Jealou fy of a hun-
dred Pretendants, and when this Fury takes the Cam-
paign waited on by Power and Numbers, who can ex-
pert to go on with Succefs, or even to retreat with Safe-
ty ? One rallies your Wit, another your Judgment ; this
Man falls upon your Courage, that upon your Honefty :
Now when fo many draw fuch a difadvantageous Cha-
radter of a Gentleman, the Draught will raife in a Prince
ill-favour'd ImprefTions, and rather prompt to difcard
than to promote him ; for Princes have all the fpecifick
Weaknefles of their Subjcdls, they are m^ade up of the
fame Matter, and follow the fame Biafs of Nature; they
believe Evil of a Man rather than Good, and when they
are well fettled in their Opinion, there is no removing
'em. In a Word, who courts Preferment walks on flip-
pery Ground ; it's his Bufinefs to fence againft Rubs,
and not to tempt People to crofs his Way, or to trip him
up in the Career.

Aim firft at a lower Station, and let it fute with your
.Genius. I would not have a Man that can't count Twenty
lay in for a Place in the Exchequer ynox an Ignoramus zt

his

2o8 A Supplement to the firft Fart

his Pen. for a Station in ine Secretary's Office. Mr. TC
in Torlpire, who never lookM over the Limits of the
County, nor rode more Southward than Po»?/rf ;, (hould
not fue for Credentials to the French Court; nor Mr. L.
who could never Mafler As in prccfenti^ for a Place in
the Bench at U'^eJlmiKflcr Hall. A Man that puts in for
an Office fo difproportion'd to his Capacity is unfit for
any, and I would rather condemn him to withdraw
twenty Miles from LondoK^ than perfuade him to fliew
his Face in Court. Confult your Abilities; and when
you are got into a fit Poll, exert your Spirits, and try to
make the moft of your felf; apply Care and Diligence,
and ftudy more your Mafter's Intereft than your own.
If you difcharge your Duty with Satisfaction and Ap-
plauie, you may look higher without Envy, for in fuch
Cafes People rather commend the Merit, than Repine
at the Succefs, efpecially if tte Advantage be managed
with Civility and Moderation ; but if you launch out
into Conceit and Arrogance, if you fly into Oftentation,-
and fpurn at thofe you leave behind, all is fpoiled j for
all the Worth of Sir Thomas Moor., or of a Boetius.^ will
never protect Pride, nor fence ill Nature ; but when you
make ufe of your Exaltation to oblige, when you took no
bigger in the highell Station than in the lovvcft, you Hand
fecure, 'and will have, if not \^<i\Q. Hand, at leaft, the good
Wiflies of Hundreds to fupport you.

III.

A middle Station is the belt, becaufe the moft fecure ;
it diftinguiflies enough from the Crowd, it entitles to
Refped, and allows Neceflaries for Decency and Plea-
fure. Now methinks nothing is wanting to compleat a
Man*s Happincfs thus furnifli'd, but a Senfe of his Cir-
cumftances, t. e-, that he fliines in his own Orb, tho' it
be not the higheft j that he is fo far confiderable as to
fecure Repute; that he is eafy at Flome, and fears no
Storm from Abroad j in fine, that he has enough, and
cannot poffibly enjoy all.

But the Mifchief is, we are of a foaring Humour, and
in fpight of DiiRuifivcs will climb fe high till our Heads
turn, and wc leave our Brains on the Pavement. A
Soldier is upon the Strain to be General, a Seaman to
ride Admiral, a Lawvcrravd a Parfcn to fit at the Head

of

of the Gentleman Injm^kd. 20^

bfjuflice and Religion^ and a Co//r/^/Vr to bea Favourite.
yiui C.ffar aut nullns is our Motto, all or nothing. Each
Man looks upon his fingle feU"asa Detachment from the
hiain Body of Mankind, and the Proprietor of all that is
Great and Plealing; we are upon the Spur till we come
to the Land's End^ i. e. the laft Point of Promotion.
Now what is all this but Covetoufnefs on the one. Hand,
and Pride on the other? Two PalTions never to be fatis- '
fied, and yet always obey'd.

It's certain the Qiiality of Pr/Wt/o is very confiderablej
and though it does not always command Efteem, it calls
for Refped ; few Courtiers dare pretend for the Place, yet
all wifli for the Honour •, and we are fo kind to our
felves, as to think a Prince's AfFedion as reafonably plac'd
on us, as on our Neighbour, and we fail not to blame his
Choice, if it falls not upon our Perfon.

Yet tho' the Title be in the general Efteem fo valua-
ble, I advife you to quit all Pretenfions to the Favour ;
level your Expe6lation at a lower Mark, unlcfs you in-
tend to ftand on P^ecord a fad Inftance of the Inftability
of human Greatnefs ; . turn over the Tranfadions bf paft
Ages, and you will find not one Favourite of a thoufand,
"whofe End was not more amazing than his Greatnefs ;
the fame Princes that fet 'em up, took Pleafu'rc in pulling
'em down, and were no lefs extravagant in their Cruel-
ty, than in their Kindnefs. Jmoa look'd down from the
top of his Glory upon his Fellow- Subjeds with Difdain,
and Contempt, but this bright Sun fet in a Cloud of In-
famy, and turn'd his Rival's Envy into Compaflion. Ti-
berius bore the Title of Emperor, Sejafjus all the Power,
the proud Senate bow'd to his Statues, fwore by his For-
tune, and his Commands were as facred as the twelve
T^cihles : Yet when the Prince's Affedtionschopt into ano-
ther Corner, this Cobjjus fell to the Ground, and buried
all his Creatures under the Ruins of his Cataftrophe.
Our Gavejlofis, Spencers^ li^olfeys. Sit. teach us by their
Difafters, that the Favour of Princes is not Proof againll
Misfortune ; that it can arreft a Favourite v/ithin the Pre-
cindlofthe Court, and draw him from the Bed-chamber
to the Scaffold. I could fingle out forty more Inftances
of a reflier Date, and Ibme domeftick too, but thefe
fuffic; 10 caution againft too great intimacy with Sove-
reigns, which is feldom purchafcd without the lale of
P Liberty,

,^^ 2 !o A Supplement to the firft Part

''Liberty, and never continued without Danger of Body
■ or Soul, and too often of both.

The Reafon is clear; for firft, as Princes often love
without Caufe, fo they hate without Provocation ; they
are led by Caprice, and fway'd by Fancy, and by Confe-
quence are only conftant in Change. Fancy is never long
lived; a Word, a Look, a Surmife nips off the moft fa-
vourable Impreffion, and turns the moft charming Ob-
je6ls into a Monller ; hence it comes, that Men run from
Dotage to Difguft in an Inftant, and are as unable to give
a tolerable Account of their Love as of their Averfion, a
meer je ne ffay quoy kindles Kindnefs, and a je ne fpay
amy congeals it ; to Day freedom pleafes, to Morrow
you muU;' ftand off in Refpedl and Refervednefs. In fine;
an Ephdjiion will have Employment enough to carry an
even Fl^,nd between the Emperor and /ilexander, and
to difcJmrge the Duties of Familiarity without making
too bold with Majefty, for the fame Man is both Friend
and Prince. Now one muft have a very Metaphyfical
Genius to feparate thefe two Relations fo as to be free
with the Friend,without coming too near the Monarch;
and yet too much on the one fide, or too httle on the
other ruins all.

Secondly, Not one of ten thoufand are qualified for
fuch a Poft ; he muft have the Prudence of a Solomon^ the
Craft of an Jchiiophel, the Courage of a Cxfar, the Mode-
ration of a Fabricius^ and befides the Felicity of Sylla ,
he muft oblige all Men no lefs when he denies than when
he confers a Favour, and take care to make no Enemies
on the one Side, whilft he makes Friends on the other;
for Enmity is more clamorous and a6tive than Friendfhip,
and a fuppos'd Injury finks deeper than a real Benefit.
Am not I of the fame Mafs with T. L. cries one? Why
then Ihould he lord it over n-se ? Where Natures are the
fame, Diftinftion of Privilege is unjuft. Why is one
Individual of the fame kind ftamp'd with Honour," and
the other with Infimy r This Complaint firft ftarted in a
Corner is banded from one to another, till it breaks In-
clofure, and appears in pubiick, and you may be fure it
receives fome exafperating Stroaks in the Journey; and
when People are warm'd. Cabals and Contrivances fol-
low, all the Mifcarriages in Church and State are put on
the Favourite's Account. The very Tempefts, Plagues,

and

of the Gentleman Inft ruffed. 211

and Famines are clap'cl at his Door, and like the primitive
Chriftians he is mark'd out as the publick NuiUmce of
Mankind. He fets the Prince at variance with his People ;
he obftrucis the fitting of Parliaments \ abets Popery and
Arbitrary Government j and then his Majeflv is defir'd to
remove Zl L. from his Perlbn and Counfel/ to ftriphim
of his Titles, and to deliver him up to the Juftice of the
Rabble. My Gentleman knocks oil', and like the Ser-
pent, expofes his Tail to fave the Head ; /'. e. drops his
Titles, Offices, and Greatnefs, and gives up his Favourite-
fhip with all its Appurtenances to fave his Skin ; away
packs he into the Country, leaving behind a thoufand
Curfes upon the Court. The Anguifh of his Misfor-
tunes puts him in the Wheel, and he always works upon
his own Difquiet, pitied by fome, and fcorn'd by-others,
like Vipers, he lives on his own Poifon ; and tho' he wants
Power to execute Mifchief, he has Malice enough to
contrive it: So that he is made up of Impotence and
Malice, and where thofe difconfolate Qualities are well
blended, all other Ingredients of Mifery are fuperfluous.
This is the end of Favourites, and the moft favourable
they can expe6l, tho' not the molt unfortunate they may
fear ; for alas ! they are not always fo happy as to re-
ceive Quarter: No, no, they quit the Court to take up
in a Dungeon, and aft the lalt Scene of their Lives up-
on a Scaffold ; nay, and it's a Favour too to change the
Halter into a Hatchet.

Check therefore Ambition, and give it not too much
Line ; court rather what is handfpme than great, and
ftudy more Convenience than Grandeur.^ Deferve the
firft Place in your Prince's Efteem, but let others run a-
way with his Affeftion ; though you fparkle lefs, your
Value will be greater ; to rife to a moderate Station by
meer Merit, is more noble than to pollefs the highell by
Favour and Partiality.

IV.

Great Men need Supporters, and prudent Men will
provide them ; Subftantives are out of Fafliion in Court,
moft walk there on Crutches, and (qw can even ftand
on their own Legs. Lay therefore in for Countenance ;
without Stays the beft built Fortune will tumble : How-
ever fell not Favours by Inch of Candle ; there is no de-
pending on bought Friendfhip, when a Man has paid for

P 2 his

212 A Supplement to the firft Fart

his Preferment he is not in your Debt, bu^owns the
Obligation to his Attendance, Importunity, or Parfe,
and though (to get a good Pennyworth) he may fvvear
Fidelity, and offer his Service, be all'ureH he will follow
the Impulfe of Intereft, and leave you in the Lurch up-
on Danger and Diftrefs. ''

Bevvare of a Court Maxim, Provide fur your Enemies,
Friends will never flinck. The Principle is neither con-
formable to the Rules of Policy, nor Juftice ; it cuts
upon good Nature, and Gratitude, and has no Support
but Practice. Shall a Man thrive by Roguery, and be
the better for Villainy ? He has noos'd me into a Plot by
Forgery and Subornation, and fliall I llretch my Credit
.to fwell his Fortune ? Percliance he has met his King in
the Field, and promifed to make him a glorious Prince
by feizing his Towns, and fettering his Perfon, and fhall
I perfuade his Majefly to give him a White Staff for the
Service ? In fine, he is dipp'd in Treafon, and over Head
in Mifchief, and now mull be bought off, and incenfed
by his Sovereign, as the Devil is by the Indians, that he
may do no more Harm. Such a Condu6l is an Invita-
tion to Dilloyalty and Treafon, it encourages Vice,
and plunges Virtue into Defpair. Who will ftand up for
his Prince's juft Prerogative at the Expence of his For-
tune, when he may draw upon it with Safety and Profit?
If Honefty be requir'd with Poverty, and Knavery
with Wealth ; if Loyalty go out at Elbows, and
Treafon glitters in Gold-lace, I fear Knights of the Poft
will multiply upon the Nation, and Round-heads may
once more vie Numbers with Cavahers. I would not
outrage where I fliould reward, nor reward where I
fhould punifh.

Le.-in. Spare me a Word, left I lofe the Opportunity
of a Queftion. I4''hy may I not win an Ener/iy ?

Eujeb. You mean, I fuppofe, buy a Friend ? Becaufe
whofoever dcferts his Party for Gain, will certainly re-
turn when Intereft calls upon him: If the Senfe of Du-
ty and Confcience are not able to reclaim a Delinquent,
will Title work a real Converfionr No, no. Sir, thofe
Cattle fiy in tl:;e Face oi a Benefit, their Organs are fo
ill fhap'd they cannot feel any thing that's generous and
noble; they always follow the loudeft Cry, and tack a-
'•^"^-'-iLith the Wind of Intereft: So long as you are

too

of ?/j^ Gentleman hiftrutfed. 215

too powerful to need Help, he fhnll ftand by you, but if
you begin to retreat, he will fall upon the Rear, and
charge your ftraggling Forces thro' a thoufand Favours.
It's a Pojlulatum among thofe InfiJels, that it's worfe to
fink with a Friend, than to fwim with an Fnemy, and
therefore like Rats before a Storm, they abandon a leaky
Veflel, and fwim for Safety to the Shoar, To be fhort,
thofe Men will ply down the Stream, and fuie with Suc-
cefs in Defiance of Juftice ; they will never crofs upon a
prevailing Crime, nor oppofe Mifchiefs- carried on by
Numbers; their Bufinefs is to Itand, though their Friend
or Prince falls, and to make a Fortune out of the Ruins
of their Neighbours or Country. Keep therefore your
Enemies low, they will no no Harm, when they are too
weak to attempt it, their Impotence is your belt Guard ;
Power in the Hands of a Mercenary is ill placed. 1 had
rather fee an Enemy unable to do me a bad Turn, than
in a Condition to do me a good one,

Lea>i. At leaft a Rebel or private Enemy may pofTibly
be obliged by Preferment, and it's certain a Friend will
venture a broken Head to refcue bis Homjly.^ and rather re-
fign his Eftate than his Fidelity.

Eujeb. Conclufions drawn out of Poffibilities are not
to be relied on, they plead for both fides, and by Confe-
quence neither Advantage nor Prejudice either. An ill
Man may be fee'dinto your Intereft, as well as Lawyers;
but then as thofe Gentlemen upon a fairer Profpec^l of
Gain fhift Sides, he may relapfe at the Approach of
Temptation, and fall into the old Diieafe of Ingrati-
tude, and Infidelity : Face therefore one Poffibility with
the other, and perchance you may conclude with me,
it's fafer trufting a Rogue in the Goal, than on the
Qiieen's Highway ; indeed he may poflibly exped: a
Gentleman to efcorte his Perfon, but I believe it's more
probable his Bufinefs is tofecurea Purfe.

Befides, I am perfuaded, 'tis not fo very certain, that a
Man who has fought away for his Prince, or his Friend,
both Limibs and Ellate, will keep up to his former Prin-
ciples of Loyalty and Generofity, unlefs he receive a
more comfortable return of Acknowledgement, than a
cold God be withyoii^ ox I am forry to fee you in fo drooping
a Condition. For fuch a Payment bears no Proportion
with a loft. Leg, or a forfeited Eftate. He may very

P 3 well

214 A Supplement to the Jirji Van

well expeft, you will be at the Expence of an oaken
Supporter at lealt, and that you will not condemn hini
to the Basket for his Honefty, and if ill Nature baulks
his Expectation, and he cannot make a Penny of his Ser-
vice, he may think of changing Mailers, and may re-
folve to try if Vice be not better natur'd than Virtue,
and if Treafon will not piece up an Eftate, Loyalty
has disjointed. For, Sir, give me leave to tell you, Ne-
ceffity pinches, and often puts Men upon unwarranta-
ble Courfes ; Indigence works more upon People than
Duty, and Generofity feldom bears up againft Negledt
and Contempt : You muft fometimes be at the Expence
of a Cordial to keep up the Spirits, and enliven Refolu-
tion ; for Stoicifm is out of Fafhion. Men are not lb
conceited of Virtue, as to think it is its own Recom-
pence, and that it's worth taking the Field for the Ser-
vice of his Prince, tho' he take up in Chclfea Hofpital at
his Return.

Indeed, tho' a good Man be turn'd off here by his
Prince without Regard, he will have Station and Happi-
nefs hereafter. But fome Provifion fliould be made e-
ven in this World, both to reward and refrefh fuffering
Virtue, otherways it may give us the Slip : For prefent
Service, People expe6l prefent Payment, and a fmall
Gratification in Hand, wins more than Millions- in Re-
verfion. Endeavour therefore to raife thofe that deferve
Promotion, and whofe paft Behaviour will anfwer for
their future. But to grace thofe with Title and Digni-
ty, who deferve not the Benefit of an Amhelly, is nei-
ther fa fe, generous, norjuft.

V.

Let your Actions keep touch with your Promifes, and
your Heart and Tongue fpeak the fame Language ; to
proffer a Gentleman Afhllance, and not intend ir, is bafe ;
and to defign a Favour that lies out of your Reach, is
fooliih. 0. P. had Credit at Court, and an honourable
Poll to fupport it J fome gave him a world of good Na-
ture, others as much Vanity, and indeed the Queftion
Jies yet undecided, .whether he Iteer'd by the one or the
other : However, his Antichamber was the Rendezvous
of Pretendants, and his Houfe was term'd the Sanctu-
ary of younger Brothers. Leave your Bufinefs to me (fays
he to one) itjball be done to your SatisfadioK. Tour Pre-

tenfions

of the Gentlem A n Inftru^fed. 2 1 5

tenjlons .(crys he to a Second) are moft jufl^ his Majejiy
has too much regard for Merit to refufe fo reafonable a Peti-
tion. My Gentlemen return'd to their Lodgings on Cock-
horfe, and began to think of a Fund for a glorious Equi-
page; fome were already Knights in Imngination, and
other Barons or Vifcotints. All were more happy with
the very Expectation, than Fruition could have made
'em ; for Fancy paints beyond Life, and over-flourifhes
Objedls ; thofe Scenes it reprelents in the Brain out-fhine
thofe of Creation: In fine. Reality fcarce ever patterns
Imagination, and worldly Greatnefs charms more upon
Report than Sight, minuit pr^fentia famam.

But after all, their Expe6lation ended in Difappoint-
ment, and their Hope funk into Defpair ; for after they
had run through a long Courfe of Submiflion and Atten-
dance, they were difmill with a 6V»//^?«f», lamforrymy
Labour has been unfuccefsfrl, unlook'd fur Accidents have
crofs^d my Defigns andyour Fortunes. Thofe poor Prelen-
dants were forc'd to retire, and curs'd their Patron's Im-
potence or Impofture ; they lafh'd him feverely in the
Coifee-Houfe, and convinc'd the World he wanted either
Sincerity, Credit, or Prudence. A Man (liould keep his
Promifes within the Compafs of his Power, and rather
promife too little than too much. There is Goodnefs,
Greatnefs, and Pieafure in forwarding a Gentleman on
his way to Preferment; but it's bafe to feed him with
vifionary Hopes, and then to turn him off with a Com-
pliment. He might have placed hia AddreiTcs more
fuccefsfully, and manag'd both Time and Money more
to Advantage; but being thus difappointed, he remains
without Friends, without Money, without Patience; he
has waited away the very Materials of his defign'd Fa-
brick, and has nothing to truft to but a Musket. Be-
lieve me, Sir, it's mortifying to fall fliort of that which a
Man affefts with Eagernefs ; the Misfortune puts his
Fancy into a Fever, it preys upon his Blood, b6ils up
his Spirits, and flings him into Impatience; it baulks his
Hopes, cows his Courage, and makes the remaining Sa-
tisfa<flion of Life a Burthen. I am apt to believe the
Gentleman mearri: well; but certainly he did ill in tan-
talizing fo long his Clients : For the fame Inflant their
Hopes ebb'd, their Anger began to flow, and not one
but thought himfelf tohave juft Provocation given him

P 4 tQ

ai6 A Supplement to the fir^; Part

to imnair his Credit, and to make him the Subjedl of
their Choler and Scorn ; and indeed Men generally re-
ceive as little Kindnefs as they do, and find as few
Friends as they deferve.

If you have Power, employ it to the benefit of Merit
and Quality ; but be not too magnificent in your Promi-
fcs, nor overconfident ofSuccefs j pretend not toenfure
a Prefei ment, nor talk of Uncertainty till the thing bedone.
I would rather give a Gentleman too little Hope than too
much, and dilpofe him to fear the worft, than to expedt
the beft of the Enrerprize. For thus he will receive a Baulk
with lefs Surprize, and if he fucceeds an Expedation will
enhance the \ .due of the Favour. Tire not his Patience
with tedious Put-offs, nor torture him between Hope
nnd Fear ; put him out of Pain fo foon as you can, and
let him knov/ what he has to truft to; when Fortune
is unkind, it's a Satisfiidf ion to know how far fliC can af-
front us, and a Man is in fome refpedt happy, who fees
the laft Extent of his Mifcry.

VI.

Some People over-rate their Merittofucha monftrous
Height, that they prefs forv^ard upon every Appearance
cf Profit, and fancy they are rarely equip'd for every
Place of Advantage of Honour that falls in the Court ;
and upon this Perfuafion they beg hard for the Employ-
ment. Nothing is able to difcourage them fromj the Pur-
fuit, neither the Greatnefs of the Competitors, nor the
Number of their Rivals. Are they baulk'd, the next Day
they return to the Charge ; they rally after the Defeat,
and grow imperious and menacing upon a Denial ; they
will heftor and ftorm their Prince out of the Privilege of
placing his Favours where he thinks fit, and plague hirri
into a Compliance: But if he yields not to their Impor-
tunity, they leave the Court in a Pet, and flrike in with
a Fa61ion.

Firfl he fets up for a mighty Patriot, and pretends a
great Concern for his Country, then he defcants upon the
Advantages of Liberfy, and runs thro' all the Branches
of Property; in his way he has a fling at the Preroga-
tive, and fets the Subjctl above the Sovereign. Thcfe
Difcoveries work upon the Rabble, who conftitutc him
Guardian of their Privileges, they give thcmfelves up to

his

jof the Gentleman lnjiru6ied. 217

his Condud, and for a Pledge of their blind Obedience
prefent him with their Eyes and Underftanding ; he is
the only Patriot in the Nation, he alone fiands in the
Gap, and oppofes arbitrary Defigns and prerogative In-
novations ; the Atlas that fuftains Liberty and defends
Property againft Court Encroachments, in fine, he is
baptized the Proteflant Peer, as if the Houfe of Lords
were compos'd of Papijls or Infidels, and all the Pro-
teftant Gentry of the Realm were fhipp'd away for Bar-
hadoes or New-EKgland.

Now has this Man more Zeal for his Country, or
more Religion than his Neighbour ? Not at all ; his
Concern is Intereft, and his Religion Mask and Artifice ;
his Vanity at Court exceeded his Force, and his Merit or
Fortune kept not Pace with his Ambition; the Wind
blew in his Teeth, and now be tacks about, and makes
for a Repiiblick. Now thefe popular Men, thefe Men
.of Applaufe have two thirds of a Traitor ; and I take it
for a general Rule, that he is no good Subject who runs
away with the Heart of the Vulgar, their Intelle6luals
are too weak, or their Paflions too llrong to diftinguifh
Truth.

But in Sincerity, tho' this Pra(51ice be ordinary, has it
any thing of Reafon or Chriftianity ? A private Gentle-
man fhall place his Favours as he thinks bell, and a King
fhall be barr'd with Freedom ? Shall Privilege quite o-
veriliade Prerogative ? And the Servant be more abfo-
lute than his Matter? Shall Authority be a Minor, and
Subjection be of Age ? It is hard, methinks, that a King
can't chufe Servants as well as his Subjects, and that he
fliall be lefs becaufe he is greater.

Befides, the Apcftle commands us to obey our Su-
periors as God's Vicegerents, not only when they
llroak, but when they ftrike us ; not only for Intereft,
but for Confcience lake. So. that our Appealers to
the People are not only bad Subjedls, but worfe
.Chriftians : They tranfgrefs the Laws of the Gofpel to-
gether with thofe of the Land, and altho' they keep off
from human Juflice, they will fcarccly withdraw from
Divine.

Step not into thofe Irregularities, tho' they are receiv'd
with the Applaufe of the Crowd, and huzza'd home
with all the Pomp of a Roman Oration, they are un-

juftifiable

2i8 A Sv^v tiMinr to the firji Part

juftifiable before God, and fober Men. Receive a Fa-
vour with Thanks, and bear a Repuhe with Patience.
Tho' a Prince be unkind, you mud not beundutifulj his
Failures are no cover for yours. An abufe of Power, ne-
ver juftifies Difobedience.

VII.

Men aim at Happinefs in all their Purfuits, but gene-
rally they miltake the Means. Such a Place in Court,
cries one, fuch a Poft in the Army, fays another, fits
my Temper to a Hair, put me into ihiit, and I fliall be
more happy than a Monarch ; I will for the future check
my Dejires, and forlwear vj'fjh'tng. This puts me in
mind of the famous Dialogue between King Pyrrhus and
his ¥2LVonn\.eCyneas. May Ibefo bold^ Sir^ faid the Philo-
fopher, as to ask, what you pretend to in all your Enterpri-
zes ? When will you end'{ Or do you know what you would
he at\ I am now., replied the King, fur the Conquejl of
Italy, then to Sicily there if ajfjort cut, and Africa lies in
my way home : When I have brought thefe Defigns to a hap-
py Conclujion, we'll live merrily. But why, anfwer'd Cy-
neas, will you pur chafe at fo va/i an Expence of Money
and Men a merry Life-, which you may buy at a cheaper
Rate ? Stop your Dejires^ ufe what you pojfefs, and the
Bujinefs is done.

A merry Life is the End of our Labour, as well as of
this Pagan King, and the Reafon why fo few Courtiers
enjoy what they all fo pallionately pant after, is, becaufe
they ratlter follow his Example, than the Phiiofopher's
Counftl. Thofe who wiih for what they have not, for-
feit the Enjoyment of what they have; when they defire
eagerly, they hope too fall, and are hair'd by Fear : Now
a Man may as foon be eafy on the Wheel, as happy be-
tween thefe two Paffions. Put a juftTermtoyour Wifh-
es, and when you have touch'd it, m.ake a Stand. It's
both fickle and fervile»to overlook the Fortune before
you, and long for that which is not in your Power. To
fay you will pufli for fuch a Station, is to fay you will be
a Slave, that you will lay your Content at the Mercy of
Hazard, and by confequence be miferable. If you give
way to Nature, you will fpend all your time in Pretenfi-
ons, and leave not a Moment for Enjoyment. Happi-
nefs only begins when Wiflies end j and he that han-
kers after «2or^, enjoys nothing.

Befides,

of the Gentleman lnftru6ted» 21^

Befides, Sir, it's ten to one that if our Defires tower
too high, we fl^all ufe foul Means, if fair will not raife
us : For when Pafiion becomes clamorous and importu-
nate, the whifpers of Reafon are either not heard, or not
reo-arded. He who is bent upon a thing, will have it
without boggling at the Notions o^ Right or Wrong. Ha~
-man would bring Mardocheus upon his Knees, and becaufe
he would not creep, he muft hang ; Revenge could find
no Crime, but Calumny foon forg'd one. Now to rife by
Crimes, is to pay too dear for the Elevation ; ten Thou-
fand Pounds is thefixt Price of a Title. Why M'ill you
purchafe one at the Price of Heaven ? In fine. Sir, all
the Glory, all the Worth of the Univerfe will not hold
out to the length of Pride and Covetoufnefs, and feeing
they are too little to fatiate our Defires, they fhould not,
methinks, be big enough to provoke 'em.

I poftpone Grandeur to Confcience, and time to Eter-
nity ; Goodnefs is your Bufinefs, not Greatnefs j you
were made for Heaven, not for the Court, let that be
the End of all your Actions, and the Gofpel the Rule ;
profit mull not regulate your Condu6t, but Juftice :
Perchance you may not thrive fo well in this World,
but you will fare better for it in the other ; There, not
Title, but Virtue makes the Diftinftion. A Thief with
true Repentance will go from the Gallows into Abra-
ham's Bofom, and a vicious Prince into Hell. In fhort,
let your Converfation be eafy, your Temper fvveet, and
your Piety unaffected. I will not overcharge you, con-
tinued Eufehius, with Precepts; Time, Prudence, and
Refleftion will fupply the reft.

Leaf}. I return a ihoufand Thanks for your Charity,
and own my felf indebted to Providence for thp Favour
of this Conference. The Scales of Prejudice and Igno-
rance are fallen from my Eyes, and things appear in a
clearer Light. I am convinc'd that all fublunary Objeds
are thin, fuperficial, and empty, and that nothing de-
ferves my Heart, but he that made it. Had our Yefter-
day's Club been fo fortunate, as to have enjoy'd the Be-
nefit of this Entertainment, I fancy your Inftruftion
might have awaken'd their Confciences, and dalh'd their
brutifh Pleafure with Gall and Vinegar. But alas !
poor Creatures, they walk in the dark, and place their
AfFedlions at Random ; they never confult Reafon, but

hate

's.0.6 A SuPFLHMENT to the jirji Fart, Sec.

hate by Caprice, and love by Haf,ard. A dazling Sur-
face runs away with the Underftanding, and commits a
Rape upon the will, and they will not underftand, that
an eternal Punifhment treads upon the Heels of a tranfi-
tory Pleafure.

L^^Wi^^^r fpoke with fuch an Emphafis, that his Con-
cern fparkled in his Face. Eufebins embrac'd him with
the Tendernefs of a Father, and difmift him with this
Farewel ; Dear Sir^ fufFer me to end with our Blefled
Saviour, you are healed^ now fin no more^ left God take
you away in flagrante^ and leave not a Moment betweer,
the Offence and the Punifhment.

The End of the Supplement.

A

Gentleman Inftru^ed

In the true Principles of

RELIGION

With a full Confutation of

THEISM

AND

L AT I T U D I N A R I AN I S M.

The Second Part.

Written for the

Inftrudion of a Young; Nobleman.'

LONDON:
Printed in the Y e a r i 7 ^ ;

( 2^3 >

■m^

THE

P U B L I S H E R's

Epiftle Dedicatory

T O T H E

GENTRY

Gentlemen,

I Make bold to fue for a Third Audience,
which I prefume you'll not refufe me. I have
no^Defign either upon your Kitchen, or your
Purfe •, and will neither tempt your Charity, or
importune your Liberality. I wait upon you to
,give^ not to ask ; and expect no Reward for my
Prefent, but a civil Reception.

Atheifm, that grand Plague of the Living,
and Torment of the Dead, rages in our liland :
Now being folicitous for your Safety, and ap-
prehenfive of your Danger, I humbly offer this
Conference as an Amulet againft the Contagion ;
tho' it prove not an infallible Remedy againft
the Evil, I am fure it can do you no Harm :

And

2 24 Epifile Dedicatory.

And then it has Cheapnefs, a molt enticing
Quality to recommend it. The Difeafe is eafi-
ly catch'd, not eafiiy remov'd : So that a Pi*e-
fervative is more reafonable than a Rejlorative.

Indeed thofe People whole Bufinefs is confin'd
to their Lodgings, who live out of Sight, and ra-
ther work than fport themfelves down, - are al-
moft below the Danger. But you move in a
more elevated Sphere, you are defign'd for Com-
merce, and Converfation ; your Occalions draw
you from Retirement, and your Diverfions call
you into Company.

Now when Infedlion becomes epidemical.
Crowds grow more dangerous than Solitude ;
and it may beprefum'd, that among a Multitude
fome carry the Tokens, and perhaps the Plague-
Sores upon them. It's therefore extreamly hard
for Gentlemen^ who are eternally infefted with
Squadrons of Spungers, who are haunted by
Parafites, that muft fawn to livcj and general-
ly difcourfe more feelingly on the Excellency of
a Ragouft, than of God or Religion. I fay it's
hard in fuch a Confluence, to efcape the Breath
of an Atheift, who by the AlTiftance of a volu-
bly Tongue, and a good Forehead, is able to
fcatter the Diftemper ; and it it once fattens on
the Heart, it immediately polls to the Head ;
and when thefe noble Parts have imbib'd the
Contagion, it's odds, the Difeafe either carries
you off, or at leaft waits on you to the Grave.

Befides, Curiofity and Pleafure invite you to
the Play-houfe^ from whence you adjourn to the
Tavern. • Now both thefe Places are infectious.
There^ Atheifm is brooded, hatch'd here. The
Tenets are learnt in the Boxes, and pradis'd at the
next Rendezvous : When Virtue is lafli'd on the
8tage before you, and Vice recommended: When

you

EpiJlJe Dedicator fi 22^

you fee Villanies carry off Applaufe, and Morali"*
ty Confufion. When you hear Religion revil'd*
and the very Author of it bJafphem'd by fome,and
ridicul'd by others : In Time neither will (land
very fair in your Efteem : You will be fhrewdly
tempted to think thofe Things cannot be very fe-
rious,nor holy,when Men publickly make Ufe of
them for Subjefts of Merriment and Profanation:
But then when you ftrike off from the Pit to the
Eating-Houfe, furrounded witha Tribe of Hang-
ers on, as flcndet-ly provided of Religion as Mo-
ney, what leWd Comments do thefe Rakes make
on the Text ? How do they fnarl at Providence^
and glance upon the Divinity with an hundred In^
fiuendd's^ which mull bellamp*d with Wit (for-
footh j becaufe they are profane ? Now thefe Blaf-
phemies at a full Table, and over f ullerCups ; when
the Spirits are flulh'd and warm'd, i. e. when Rea-
fon is fetter'd, and Senfuality let loofe, firft meet
with Applaufe, and then with Approbation ; for
certainly Men are never mote difpos*d to deny God^
than whilft they offend him ; nor to take leave on
Religion, than when they have loft their Wits.

Again, tho' we live in a degenerate Age, Religi-
on has not loft all Reputation. A Man may go to
Church without being gaz*d upon for a Monfter,
whilft Atheifm feems at leaft to live under the dif-
efteem of the Publick. Now to ftrengthen their
Party, Atheifts have Gentlemen in their Eye :
They hope for Safety Under your Proteftion, and
Credit too under the Wings of your Authority :
Hence they employ a hundred little Artifices to
juggle you out of your Faith, and to hare you intCi
Religion, and indeed you have a mighty Influence
over the Vulgar ; they model their Judgment by
yours i your Averfion is the Standard of theirs,
and what you approve they dare not condemn*
Q Fronm

iiO "Epifile Dedicatory.

From you they take Fafliions, Breeding, and cveii
Religion. So that I wonder not Atheifts aim at
you : the Conqueft of one Nobleman may be term-
ed Legion -, for his Surrender (like that of Me-
troj)oiis) draw in the whole Province^

Moreover, God has favour'd you with Efau*i
BlefTing *, the Fat of the Land is part of your
Inheritance, and by Confequence, Honours,
Pleafures, and Eftcem ; the common Sequels of
Abundance. You run fmoothly before the Wind,
and fail on with a profperous Gale. Your Hal-^
(yon Days run through the whole Year ; Earth,
.Winds, and Men, drudge for your Satisfaflion
and Intereft. You confute JoFs Aphorifm^ Man's
horn to labour:, and demonftrate by Practice, that
Sport is the proper En^ployment of Gentlemen.

Now Profperity is heady, it intoxicates, the'
k delights ; and not only dafhes out the Memo-
ry of Things pafl, like the River Lethe, but
(what is more ftupendiou?) of thofe that are to
come. Men are fo taken up with the Charms of
the Frefent, that they have little Time, and a
Icfs Inclination to cafb away a Thought on the
Contemplation of the Future ; they love not ta
withdraw their Eyes from the pleafing Objcfts of
this Life, to fix them on the fearing Profpe<5l of
the other: And without doubt. Gentlemen, who
liave Pleafures before them, would be as little
(lifpofed to enjoy them, as Dionyjms the Tyrant,
did they reflcd v;hat Torments ft and behind"
them.

When therefore Things glide on fuccefsfully
Here^ it's very n.uural to lay a fide all Concern of
the Future : And if we judge the badThings of ano-
ther World, thwai-t the Enjoyment of the good
Thmgs of tliis ; v/e fliall firit wifii there were no
fuch Place, and then from willing a Thing were

notv

^pijile Dedicator f. ii'j

hot, to believe it is not, is but a very fhoft Tra-
jeft, for the Will and the Judgment feldom difa-
gree, and if once you lop off the laft Article of
the Creed Vitam (Bternam^ yOu muft throw ouE
the firft. Credo in Deum.

Tho' Gentlemen lie open to thefe Temptati-
ons, I do not fay they are always overcome ; fome
bear up with Courage againft the Aflault, and
force thefe lewd Suggeftions to retire. I know
Perfons of Quality^ whofe Virtues are more no-
ble than their Blood. Providence feems to have
made them Great, that they might appear more
fuperlatively Good. Like the Sun, they fcattef
their benign Influence dn all below them, and
thofe they cannot warm with their Munificence,
they enlighten with their Example. But how-
ever the Event of War is doubtful, and the Dan-
ger certain : Where Temptation reigns, there's
no Place for Security ; and therefore by the Laws
6f Prudence you are bound to take the bed Pre-
cautions : You cannot be too fure when Eternity-
lies at Stake.

I prefent you with a Conference in which you
will fee the Latitudinarian nonplufi^ and the Athe-
i(t difarm'd. You may eafily defend your felves
againft thefe Secfls, with thole Weapons Eufebius
overthrew their two Abettors, Ariovifius and
^heomachus^ and if you v/ill but take the Pains
to balance the Lightnefs of their Defence, w^th
the Weight of their Impudence ; you'll rather
pity their Sillinefs, than apprehend their Rea-

q^2 THE

[«8]

THE

PREFACE

T O T H E

READER.

Dear Reade1(,

1 Offer to your Perufal, the Second Part of the
Gentleman Instructed, //'i a Treatife
dgainji Atheiftn, I hope it may he profitable ; 1 am
fiire it is [eafonable. It's Time to prepare for a De-
fence^ when the Enemy has gained the fValls. tFhen
the Plague fages, and Death fits at every Door, it^s
Time to think of an Amulet. In a publick Danger^
Nature commiffions every SubjeSi to fight for his
Prince and Country, Unufquifq; naturaliter eft
Miles. Duty arms us, and Allegiance enters our
Names in the Mufier- Rolls. God lies under the mofi
vile Circumftances of Infult and Outrage. Libertines
make bold with his ?noft facred Attributes -, they bur-
lejque his Mercy, lampoon his Jufiice, and ridicule
his Omnipotence, ivhil/l Alheifis attack his very Be-
ing, flnd fly in the Face of his Dixmity : Andfhall a
Cbriflian fiand an idle Spetlator at fo hid, fo da-
ring

Preface to the Reader. 229

ring an Infolence ? For what were 'Tongues made^
hut to [peak on fuch provoking Occaftons ? Silence is
criminal as well as Neutrality^ and mi to jland up
in our Maker'* s X)efence when Atheifts rifle his Ma^
jefly, and rally upon his Omnipotence^ is to hand a-
gainfl him.

Some perchance may Jland up and tell me, that
S^reatifes of this Nature are not calculated for our.
Meridian : That they may be ufeful to the wild Pa-
tagons of America, or the ftupid Hotentots of the.
Cape ; hut that Atheifm is Jo great a Stranger to our
Nation, that we are forced to fetch a Word from
Greece to exprefs it. We are rather opprefs*d with
the Light of a Deity than want it. We walk in the
StinJIjine of Knowledge ; 7iot the Obfcurity of Ig-
norance. And whilji we tolerate all Religion, it's
ridiculous to fuppofe we have none.

But under Favour, Gentlemen, we need not fail
to the Megalanian Streights, nor cut the burning
Line to find an Atheift. Thefe Monflers breed nigher
Home ; theyfpawn on our Shoar j they thrive in
cur Climate, and like the Egyptian Locufts over-
run the Country : So that they are become an univer-
fal Nuifance to the SubjeSi, and a Plague to the
Realm. Stupidity and Education may plead for poor
American Atheift at God's Tribunal ; but cannot
for ours. Thefe are haJch*d in the Stews, and nursed
in the Play-houfe ; the^^ take their Birth from De-
bauchery, and Growth from barefaced Malice. They
pafs thro' the whole Alphabet of Crimes before they
touch this Non plus ultra of Impiety.

St. Auftin complains thefe Vermin plagued his Age
as it does ours, but yet they lay under Difcipline, they
walked abroad incognito, and fcidk d under Dif-
^uife, ideo dixit in cordc fuo non eft Deus, quia
hoc nemo audet dicere, etiam fi fuerit aufus co-r
gitare. But now the Scene isjijiftsd j AtheifjnJlandJ!

0^3 ^^

23« Preface to the Reader.

no more on Refervednefs •, it /corns to lie under the
Reproach cf Rejlraint^ or the Shame of Confine-
ment ; it has laid down the Vizard^ and appears in
publick, not only without Fear^ hut even with Impu-
dence. Other Vices retire into Darknefs and Solitude^
like Bats., or Screech-Owls they range in the Night ;
iutAtheifm braves it at Noon-J)ay •> and fois turned
into a Mid-Day Devil, Dscmonium Meridianum.

It has removd it's Lodgings from the Stews and
Bagnio's, and other publick Scenes of Lewdnefs, tfi the
Court! It has wheedl'd into its Party not only the
Rakes, but the Poets alfo, who, like Slaves at the
Oar, drudge for the Caufe : 'Hhey rhime down Piety ^
f.nd then laugh Religion out of Countenance to turn it
out of Doors : They drazv in all the Succours ifnagi-
nable, but Reafon and Confcience ; fo that one would
think they intended a general Invafion upon Religion^
and refolve~to force Morality into an Abdication.

In King David*j Reign an Atheijl made a poor Fi-
gure ', he zvas content to wear the Cap and Bauble ;
his Ambition look*d no higher than the Pofl of Scara-
mouch, dicic infipiens in Corde fuo non eft Deus.
And indeed all Mankind, together with the Royal
Prophet, voted him the Station : But it feems we
have learnt new Notions of M^it and Wifdom fince
the Deceafe of our Anceflors. tVhat went in their
Days for Stupidity and Folly, by the Hocus Pocus
cf a new Creation, Jlarts up Ingenuity and Reafon iu
ours. The mojl dull Creature that dares di/own his
Maker is duhb'd a Virtuofo,' and without any other
"Tryal of his Abilities commences Do5lor in the Acade-
my of Rakes : For thefe Men having now ufurp'd the
Bench, they fit upon Wit, Breeding,and Religion ; their.
Judg'tnent is the Standard ofSenfe, and Scale of No-
bility : So that whoever dares but defy God without
Remorfe, without Sham^, is a fhrewd Man, a Per-
fon of Parts, and a Gentleman without the Help of

Heraldry.^

, Preface to the Reader. 2 j t

Heraldry, a Peer without the Kin^s Patent ; nay^
he is every Thing but a Man,

I wonder what they drive at, if they dejign to
fpread a Varnijh on the Face of Vice, to turn Lezvd-
nefs into Virtue, and Brutality into Diver/wn -, their
"Plot is well laid, their Meafures are jufl, and Sue-
cefs 7nufi crown their Endeavours : For if God be
dajh'd out of the Creed, 'Morality will foon abandon
eur Aoiions. Man will fland on the fame Ground,
with Beafls ; Reafon will vanifh into Senfe, and Jo
we Jh all fall below the Level of our own Species*
Power will decide Right, Interefl will define Honeftyy
and Revenge pronounce upon Honour ; and then, like
difmantled Towns^ wejhall lie open to all the Inroads
of Infolence, and to all the Affaults of Vice. Is not this
afineMethod to cut off all ihehines of Communication
between Man and Man ? 'To throw all Government
off of the Hinges ? To drown Order in a Sea of Cofi-
fufion ? To flock the Nation with thieving Arabians,
and to let loofe upon our Bodies, an Army of hlood'y
Tartars ?

And indeed our Atheifls have Reafon to crow ; their
Trick has taken to Admiration. Debauchery fpreads
fofaft, that the InfeSiion is become epidemical, it's
above Expreffwn ; God fend it be not alfo pafl Cure !
One zvould think Circe had flipped her magical Po-
tions hither, Transfor?nations are fo ordinary ; and
what raifes my Sufpicion is, becaufe they all end in
the Be aft, and'inoji in the Szvine.

'lis hard to affign the genuine Caufe of this extra-
vagant and unreafonable Vice. One told me, he was
of Opinion, that our Natives had wafted it hither
from the Indies, and that thefe Barbarians had bar-
tered their Infidelity for our Engliili Ware. Cer-
tainly our Seamen carry abroad a fraall Cargo of Re-
ligion, and a lefs of Confidence ; both are a trouble-
fi?ne kind ofi Lading, and ofi no Debate, IVe mufe
Q^ 4 ^<^^

S't Preface to the Reader.'

'tiot wonder then ^ if a Crew Jlended'j provided of both,
lofe feme Grains in the ■ I'raje^^ and more in thofe
Regions where they fee none. 'The African Infidelity
may tin5iure their Hearts^ as the African Sun tans
their Faces ; and then at their Return^ they may un-
lade the Atheifm of Guiney with its Gold. Thd' thefe
Apojlate Mariners may fling the Infe^ion among the
Mcb^ they cannot reach thofe who move in a higher
Sphere : But Swains lie too far out of Sight., to in-
fiuence the Nobility ; they are Creatures of too fmall
a Size to fet up a Fa^jion^ too dejpicahle to de-
ferve Imitation.

*Tis certain nothing has contributed more to the
Improvement of Atheifm than the Liberty of the.
'Prefs ; like Pandora'5 Box., it has poured out all the
Plagues of Schifm, that for thefe hundred Tears have
'plagued the Nation : They fwarm in every Corner.,
and are becojne both a Drudge., and Grievance. Like
Toad-fools they ft art up in a Night., and what Won-
der I Nature huddles up in a Mo?nent thofe Infers
that fpringfrom Stench., and feed on Corruption ;
They are for the mo ft part abortive Embrio^s, with-
out Shape., without Figure., but not without Poifon. .,

The Prefs hozvever is now a Branch of our Pro-
perty., and a Part of our darling Liberty ; we think
curfelves fettered., unlefs we have the Freedom to fnarl
at the Prerogative., to vomit Blafpheinies againft
Cod., and to revile Religion and Morality ; and then
that our Crinies may be immortal, 'and infe^f future
Ages., as well as the prefent., they muft appear in
Print, to outface Modefty., and ftare Virtue^ Reli-
gion, and Obedience out of Countenance. Certainly
thefe People fancy Ignorance and Wickedhefs are
charming Salifications, why elfe do they take fucb
Pains to ft and Fools and Debauchees upon Record ?

Alas ! their Defign looks another JVay ; would
they content themfeh%s with the Homur of pools or
' ' ■ • • ■ , " • ■ Debauchees^

Preface to the Reader. 235

Ipehauchees, we would let ihem carry off" the Prize ;
hut they level at Piety^ they Jirike at Religion, and
aim by Refle^fion at the Almighty : And that their
^rain may take, and their Poifon work with Effica-
cy, 'tis gilt over with [oft Language, fwimming Ex-
-prejjions, chiming Periods, i. e. they blend Poifon
with Poifon to make the Potion Jironger. Smut and
Baudery are fulfome Obje^ls in their own Drefs, they
rather work upon the Stomach than the PVill, and
are fitter for Scavingers than Gentlemen ; when a>
little Art cafis a ^anch over their Foulncfs, and
vails their Deformity, they enchant Senfe, and Jlupify
Reafon -, the Monfter withdraws, and the Sound af~
fe^s the Ear, whilfi the Ohjeoi lays hold of the Heart :
Indeed fofne ft and upon no Ceremony, they draw the
Statues of fcandalous Amours, not in Bufto, but at
length, without a Fig-leaf to cover their Nakednefs,
They appear under all Shapes, and in all PoftureSy
hut thofe of Decency. WJoat Virtue can ft and out a-
f^ainftfuch murdering Engines? 'Thefe Obje^s make
Inroads upon the Fancy, they fire the Blood, and put
the Humours in an Uproar ; they fit the Reader f on
any Villany, and what is worfe, point cut the Occa-
/ton J nay, our Authors ft and not in Univerfals, they
defend in Particulars. They diffe5i Brutality, and
expofe Anatomy to View and Contemplation, which
is a fhrewd Argument their Writings are only Copies y,
and that the ASfions are the true Originals.

In a Word, the whole Fry of our modern Pam-
phleteers feems to have cojifpir*d againft Virtue and
Godlinefs, they canonize Vice, and deify Unclean-
Vefs J and by this Means they have run down Sobrie-
ty, and fet up Incontinence ; they have brought Li-
hertinifm into Credit, and Morality into Contempt ;
and Things are come to fuch a Cofidition, that
Confcience lies under all the Dreads of Reproach-i and
Apprehenfions of Infamy^

Now

i|4 Preface to the Reader.

Noiv when the agenda of Religion are laid aftde^
the credcnda ".^nll Joon be difmifs\l^ as ufelefs and
cwmhcrfome. A Man that has hut the Boldnefs to
charge thro'' all the Terrors of the Worlds in good Timt
'mill laugh at them \ and then becaufe God takes not
eff Sinners in Flagrante, but leave fome Tears he"
tween the Crime and the Punijhment^ he will he apt
enough to conclude he is a meer Bugbear of our own
Creation. To be Jhcrty the Prefs has not only cffe-'
Piinau'd the Afindy hut unprincipled the Underjiand'
iiigy and therefore fitted US for all Diffohttion. A
Man without Principle is a Creature without Rc"
firaint , he is all Senfe^ all Appetite^ all Beafi^ andy
in fine^ all Monfler.

Now to put a Stop to this growing Vogue of A--
fheifnt, I haie publifh'd thefe Conferences^ in which
the At he i ft will fee the Weaknefs of his Principles
4ifc(yv€r''dy and if he be not convert ed^ I am fur e he
ii^ill be coitfounded. I deftre thefe Nullifidians to
read the Book without Prepojfejfion^ without Bia/si
the Siihjeti is both ferious and important^ and thert'
fare deprves un;prejudic'd Refle^iions.

THE

[ '^isl

I . m*' 'I

• THE

Gentleman Inftru^ed, &c.

DIALOGUE I.

How Theomachus became an PiXht\%fet doivu asaCax"
tion far all young Gentlemen,

TH E next Morning Keander took Coach, and
drove direflly to Eufeb'ms^s Lodgings. He
walk'd up Stairs, and found his Friend in his
Clofet. Good Morrow, faid Neander, laft Night I
brought you the Challenge, and now I am come to carry
you to your Antagonift. I hear he is ftrangely flufh'd
up with Hopes of Vidtory, and has call'd in fome Friends
to be Speftators of his Triumph.

Eufeb. Atheifts, like young Narcijfus's, dote on their
own Abilities j and becaufe they are more proud than
we, they very wifely conclude they are more witty. But,
Neander^ thofe who talk moft, do not always talk beft.
Speaking and Reafoningare not always of the fame Side ;
that lies within the Verge of a Fool, and this is the Pre-
rogative of a wife Man. But pray why fo early this
Morning? Atheifts and Libertines are now in their firft
Sleep ; they are perfeft Sybarites ^ and never open tlieir-
Curtains till the Sun has drove over the Meridian : So
that they live no lefs extravagantly than they believe :
Their Adlions crofs upon Nature, as well as their Faith
on Reafon. But indeed we mult fling in fome Grains of
Allowanc^e ; for whereas other Men fleep to refrefti Na-
ture, Atheifts fleep to work out a Debauch. And as they
drink poor Reafon afleep, fo they Heep it avyake, and this

Opera-

^3^ ^^ Gen tt EM AN InJIfuBed.

Operation requires Time. I have read that the Morning
Heats are admirable for Tranfpiration, they fupply the
f lace of a Bagnio^ and fpare both Expence and Trouble,

Neand. An Atheift cannot crofs your Way, but you are
prefently on the Spur, you make at him with full fpeed,
and feldom leave the Chace till you are both run down :
Have you forgot, Th.21.1 Love your Neighbour as your felf,
takes in both Infidels and Atheifts too ? And that whofoever
is of your Species comes yvithin the Pale of the Precept.

Eufeb. I love their Perfons, but cannot be reconciled
to their Principles ; I could heartily pity 'em, had they
one Grain of Compaflion for themfelves ; but they are a
Race of Men, that neither defire Pity, rior deferve it %
they walk on the very Brink of the Precipice, and (tho*
they know the Danger) fljut their Eyes,, that they may
not fee it, as if they plac'd their Happinefs in their Ruin.
In fine, Neander^ they fhall have rny Prayers, but not
my Efteem. But apropos : May I not know my Anta-
gonill's Name ? I forgot this Query at our laft Meeting.

Neand. And really I forgot to acquaint you : He is cal-
led Theomachus j he is in gre^t Requeft, and fpeaks well,
the' he believes ill.

Eufsh. T'heomachus !

Neand. Why have you any Acquaintance with the
Genileman ?

E:ijel7. 1 never exchang'd a Word with him in my Life :
But a Man muft have led the Life of a meer Reclufe, not
xohzvthQd.rdo{Theomachus: He has been the Town
Difcourfe thefe thirty Years ; and never Man has been
more prais'd, nor more blam'd than he. 1 have heard a
thoufand Panegyricks of his Youth, and as many Satyrs
of his old Age, that leaves no place for Inveftive, nor
this for Excufe : For as I have been credibly informed, in
his tender Years he pradlis'd all Virtues, and fince he be-
gan to decline, has plung'd himfelf into all Vices: He
has not only debauch'd himfelf almoft out of his Eftate,
but quite out of his Religion ; he turn'd off Chriflianity
for Libertinifm, and from hence ftept into Atheifm ; fo
that, like Lucifer, from an Angel of Light, he is meta-
morphos'd into a Spirit of Darknefs, and has improv'd
the Contempt of his Creator into open Rebellion ; nay,
he reads Ledtures of Atheifm to others, and fo fpreads
ihp Infe^lilion, and makes his own Difeafe incurable i for

^)&<f G E N T t E M A N InJlruBed. i^y

if the Allurements of Pleafure are fo bewitching as to per-
fuade a Man in fpight of Reafon to live an Atheift, Ho-
nour will pufli the Illufion farther, and invite him to die
one. I am fenfible enough that we are more prone to
cenfure our Neighbour's Vices, than to take notice of his
Virtues: Invedives flow more eafily from us than Pane-
gyricks; and therefore I thought my felf oblig'd to fuf-
pend my Judgment oiTheomachus^ till I found fome bet-
ter Evidence than popular Reports, which oftentimes owe
their Being to Miftake or Envy, and their Growth to a
talkative Humour, and indeed at length I fell by chance
in the Company of one of his Friends, who gave me full
Satisfaction: His Life has fomething of the Romance,
but more of the Tragedy ; 'tis fitter to grieve, than to
divert us, and to melt us into Tears, than into Laugh-
ter: Time does not prefs ; I will, if you pleafe, run over
the chief Circumftances ; tho' the Narrative be not di-
verting, I am fure it will be inftruftive: You will learn
by his fad Fall, that Man can find no fure Footing here^
that Virtue lies within the Reach of Temptation, and
cannot only be aflauited, but overcome.

Neand. Pray, Sir, favour me with the Relation; In-
ftrudtion is never unfeafonable, *tis fometimes neceflary,
efpecially to young Men, whofe Nature bends more wil-
lingly to what is pleafant, than what is lawful, and who
rather fpur on their Paflions than curb 'em ; befides Ig-
norance waits on Youth, as well as Prefumption. Thai
hides the Danger; This provokes it j but both betray us.
Pray begin.

Eufeb. *Tis a kind of Pofiulatum in Spirituality, that
Men end as they begin, and die as they live ; and indeed
Experience teaches as well as Scripture, that the hit
Adt of our Lives is but a Copy of the firft. Virtue
planted in the Spring of Youth, thrives to Admiration;
it flows in the very Winter of Age, it blooms in the
Grave, and breathes forth Perfumes when our Bodies ex-
hale Infedlion. Now if an early Virtue call its Roots
fo low, that the Blafts of impetuous Paflions are not able
to (hake it. Vice certainly will be more lafl:ing ; this is
the Produdl of our own Soil, like poifonous Weeds it
grows without Planting, and in Procefs of Time winds
and twifl:s it felf with our very Nature ; it finks into our
Bones, and not only conveys, the In(e6tion through all

the

i3^ T-^^ Gentleman InfiniBei,

the Humours of the Body, but corrupts the very Facul-
ties of the Soul ; fo that like chronical Diftempers, it ac-
companies us to our Coffins, it fleeps with us in the
Gi'ave, and burns with us in Hell.

Tho' this Rule be univerfal, it admits of fome Excep-
tions; who court Sin in their Youth, fometimes deleft it
in their declining Years ; and thofe who quench the un-
lawful Heats ofLewdnefs in the very Summer of their
Lives, are confum'd by 'em in the Autumn of their Age ;
even then like Mount Gibel, they are Snow without, and
Fire within ; and this Providence permits, that the Saint
may not prefume, nor the Sinner defpair. St. Paul wzs
a Perfecutor before he became an Apoftle. He made a
Martyr in Jerufalem before he fufferM Martyrdom at
Rome ; and only propagated Chriftianityj when firft he
confpirM its Ruin. What could be more promifing than
the Beginning of unfortunate Judas ? He receiv'd Power
over Devils, as well as over Difeafes ;.and commanded
Nature whilft he obey'd his Mailer : But when Avarice
prey'd upon his Innocence, TreafOn broke in upon hi^
Loyalty, and Defpair put an End to his Life, to begin
the everlafting Puniflimeiit of his Offences : But we need
Dot run fo far back into Antiquity for fuch Examples ;
our Age can leave nt leaft one Prefident to Pofterity ifl
the Perfon of unfortunate Theomachus.

This Gentleman feem'd born under fo happy a Con-
ftellation, that all Things confpir'd to make him a Saint,
At the Age of Twelve he had the Prudence of a Man of
Tv.'enty, an Air of Gravity ran thro' all his A6tions, fo
that he had nothing of the Child, but Age and Inno-
cence. The Seeds of a pious Education fown in a Soil
fo grateful, could not chufe but improve almoft to a Mi-
racle ; and indeed, fo foon as he heard to v;hat End he
was created, together with the dread Myfteries of Chri-
ftian Religion ; that the Virtues of the Juft would be
rewarded with an Eternity of Joys ; and the Sins of
the Impious with, an Eternity of Torments: He never
balanc'd on the Choice, but refolv'd to fquare his Life
by the Rule of the Gofpel, and to poftpone all the Ad-
vantages of Time to thofe of l!.ternity.

His Condudi was an Argument that his 5 efolution nei-
ther flow'd from Childiflmefs, nor Ignorance ; he labour'd
to put it in Execution ■\vith the fume Eagemei'she made

The Gentleman tnjiru^ed. 23^

it, and he told his Tutor one Day, that to defer the Exe-
cution of a good Purpofe, and to break it, was the fame
Thing ; that a bad Adion fhould never be done, nor a
good one ever omitted. He began firft to mode! his
Paflions, and punifh'd 'em likeTraytors before they were
able to rebel : He taught 'em to obey betimes, that they
might never pretend to Sovereignty, and refusM them all
things to baulk their Importunities j fo that when he made
his firft Appearance in the World, and enter'd upon Con-
verfation, he drew ail Mens Eyes and Admiration upon
him : He feem'd call in a quite different Mould than o-
4:her Men, and wholly exempt from the common Curfe
of Mankind ; he fear'd thofe Things which others hope
for, and ran from thofe vain Amuiements they purfue:
He placed his Wealth in the purchafe of Virtue, not of
Land, and defpis'4 all Honour, but that which fuits
with a Chriftian : He look'd upon his Eftate as a Proper-
ty of the Poor, and therefore return'd them the Over-
plus as a Debt, rather than as a Benevolence; and
when once a Relation defir'd him to fhape his Charity
by the Rule of Difcretion; my Neighbour's want, re-
ply'd Theomachm^ is the Standard of my Alms, and I
had rather drive my Liberality too far than too ihort.
He never withdrew from thofe Diverfions that recreate
the Body without endangering the Soul ; but then he
could not be won to countenance a Debauch ; and altho'
this Nicety often expos'd him to the Scoffs of Raillery of
thofe young Blades, that rated Pleafure above their Du-
ty, yet he either detefted their Malice, or pitied their
Folly, and valued his Innocence above their Favour. We
live (faid he one Day) in a ftrange Age, and as llrange a
Kingdom; we profefs a Reformation in Religion, and a
Corruption of Manners : We believe what Chrift reveal'd,
and blufh to pradife what he taught : His Religion is Ala-
mode^ and his Precepts of Morality out of Fafhion. Sure-
ly we pretend tojuftify the Lewdnefs of our Adtions, by
the Holinefs of our Religion, as if true Faith were a War-
rant for Immorality. Cannot a Man be well bred
unlefs he lives ill? Nor condefcending unlefs he givee up
his Title to Heaven ? Can nothing oblige a Companion
but my Damnation? Nothing intitlc me to good Beha-
viour but Impiety ? This is certainly to confound ideas,
to fettle falfe NoUonSy andto banter Things out of their
•Njlufe^ You

240 ^he Gentleman InfimBed,

You may eafily imagine fuch Ledlures of Morality
Were unpalatable to thoTe young Sparks, who fix their
Eyes and Thoughts only upon the prefent. They took
the Alarm, and immediately cry'd out, Gentlemen to your
Arms, Young Theomachus^ fays one, is vaftly pretend-
ing, he fets up for a Preacher without Holy Orders, and
enters upon the Miniftry without Licence. "Nay, replies
another, he joins Infult to Outrage, Firft by Impeach-
ing our Condu6t, and Secondly by making- Inroads on
our Prerogative. 'Tis a Gentleman's Privilege to fin
without Reproof, as well as without Scruple, and who-^
foever advifes us of our Duty, tranfgrefl'es his own. We
Ihall be cloy'd with Homilies unlefs we cool his Zeal',
and fweeten his morofe Complexion. I am not, fays a
third, for being always upon the defenfive, we muft
make a Diverfion, and carry the War into his own Do-
minions. His Virtue I fuppofe is not impregnable ; it
may either be mafter'd by Force, or feiz'd on by Sur-
prize ; and if our Enterprize fucceed, we fhall gain a Pro-
felyte, and lofe a Cenfor. The Counfel was receiv'd
"With Applaufe, and prefently they fell to work; they
attack'd his Reafon with Wine, and his Chaftity with
Women. But T'heomachus vented their Mines before
they took Fire, and fo cover'd his Adverfaries with Con-
fufion, and himfelf with Glory. Nay, he painted the
Foulnefs of the Attempt in fo liy^ely Colours, that he
brought over forae to a better Life ; and even thofe he
could not perfuade to repent, he taught to blufh: And
row he had obtain'd fuch a Superiority, that all thofe
He6lors who could not love him, were forc'd to efteem
him. His very Prefence bridled their Paffions, and kept
them within the Bounds of Decency, and tho' he could
not controul their Thoughts, he was abfolute Mailer of
their Adions.

Theomachus run on in this holy Courfe till the thir*
tieth Year of his Age, refpedted by Men, and precious
in the Sight of God. Never Man bid fairer for Perfe-
verance than he ; he had kept his Paflions under fuch
fevere Difcipline, that tliey feem'd rather dead than
mortify'd ; they had obey'd fo long, that they loflalmoft
all Deiire to command: He lay under the Violence of
no ill Habits, no criminal Engagements, in fine, he judg'd
himfelf fecur? when he was within au Ace of his Ruin.

.. His

fbe Gentleman InftrtiBed, 24 1

His Sifter, affianc'd to a young Gentleman, invited
him to her Wedding, fhe prefs'd the Invitation with that
Earneftnefs, Theomachus forefaw fhe would not return
with a Denial; he made notwithftanding fome Refift-
ance, and carried on his Excufes beyond the Laws of Ci-
vility, for he knew that Meetings devoted to Merri-
ment, are often profan'd with Lewdnefs, or, at leaft,
that Temptation crowds in with Youth and Gallantry^
yet at length Importunity overcame his Conftancy, and
this Piece of innocent Condefcendence firft threw him
upon Temptation, and then tumbled him into the Pre-
cipice of Libertinifm and Atheifm.

Some of his Relations, Men of a gay Temper, were
grown out of Conceit with his Moderation and Re-,
fervxdnefs, and therefore refolv'd eith^ to bend his Vir-»
tue, or to break it. They hire a Woman, fair as a He-
len, but lewd as a Mejfalwe, fhe was one of thofe who
proftitute their Honour for a fine Equipage, and firft prey
on young Gentlemen's Hearts, and then on their Eftates.-
She was handfomely fet out for the Employment, and.
well vers'd in all the little Arts of wheedling, nothing
could be more engaging than her Converfation, her Hu-
mour was pleafant, and yet referv'd : So that thofe that
did not know her, would have taken her for a l^ejlal •
fhe was well inftru6led in her Part, and promis'd to a6t
it to the Life, nor did fhe fail in the Execution.

Theomachus on the Day appointed repair'd to his Sifter's
Lodgings, where he was receiv'd with open Arms ; every
one gave him the welcome, but they fcrew'd up Civility
even to AfFedlation, who had laid the Train to blov/ up
his Virtue : And now the deceitful »Syr^» I fpoke of began
to enter on the Stage. She continually plac'd her felf
before him, and took him out to dance a Minnet ; flie
found Occafion to entertain him, and fometimes in pri-
vate. Theomachus was firft charm'd with her Converfa-
tion, then he fought it, and, in fine, he found an Uneafi-
nefs when he was out of her Company; in a Word, his
Paflion made fuch Progrefs in the Space of two Hours,
that he was fcarce able to mafter it ; This Bafdisk had
fiiot the Poifon thro' his Eyes to his Heart, and its Ope-
ration was fo quick, that the peftilential Flame almoft
confum'd him before he well knew the Cuufe of fo
Itrange an Alteration ; he blufh'd within himfelf to fub-

R mit

14^ ^^Z*^ Gentleman InJIrufkd,

mit at the Age of Thirty to a Paflion he had conquefM
at Twenty, and concluded that Magick had a greater
Hand in his Overthrow than Nature, but 'tis a Folly ta
impute to Philtrums and Incantations thofe Eftedts which
fpring from our felves, and rife out of our own Corrup-
tion.

He endeavoured to pen up his Paflion within his own
Breaft, and fear'd it fhould take Air, but Love is a Flame
that cannot be confin'd, it breaks out in fpite of Oppofi-
tion, andVorks its way through all the Marks of Diflimu-
lation. A certain Gloominefs fat on his Face, Chearful-
nefs gave place to Melancholy, he fhew'd an Unealinefs
in Company, and a Diflatisfadlion in Solitude, all won-
dered at the fudden Alteration, but no Body more than
himfelf. Some call'd the Diftemper a Fever, others a
Weaknefs, but all mifs'd in their Conjeftures, befides the

• Viper that fhot the Poifon, and the unfortunate Gentle-
man that receiv'd it.

'Theomachus pretended Sicknefs, and fo withdrew to his
Lodgings,' but he trail'd the Dart after him, it ftuck in

• his Heart, and he neither had the Courage to difengage
it, nor Refolution enough to fupport the Torment: He
hated the Pain, yet doted on the Caufe of it, and even
feem'd to taftefome Happinefs in the very Height of his
Mifery. But Oh ! when he compar'd his paft State with
the prefent, the fweei Calms of a virtuous Mind with
the boifterous Tempeft of a diftemper'd one ; he thought
himfelf faUen from Heaven into Hell, and confefs'd no-
thing was wandngto compleat his Mifery, but the Eter-
nity of his Torments. His Fancy drew out a Landskip
of all the difmal Confequences of fo unruly a Palfion ;
and Reafon told him it was time to prevent them, but
he relied too much on his Virtue, and fuppos'd it invinci-
ble, becaufe hitherto he had not been overcome. He
thought his Power over Paflion was as abfolute, as God
over the Sea, and if he bid it ftop within the Bounds of
Decency and Innocence, it durft not difobey. But alas !
Virtue muft not without great Precaution be put to the
Teft. If we truft it too far, it often gives us the Slip,
and by a moft juft Judgment from Heaven, too great a
Confidence ends in Ruin.

In fine, Theomachus was impatient for a fecond Inter-
view i he concluded no Harm could follow, becaufe he

intended

^he Gentleman InftniBed. 24 j

Ihtended none. That there was no Danger of Sin, be-
caufe his Thoughts were innocent ; nay, he was now
flown up to fuch an Height of Extravagance, as to per-
fuade himfelf, that the Impetuofity of Appetite is fooner
tam'd by Liberty than Reltraint, and that Hke fome ca-
pricious Horfes, it runs farter v/hcn you draw in the
Pveins, than when you llacken them. Thus he fetch'd
Arguments from the Stable, and play'd the Jockey rather
than the Gh^rillian.

His Companions made him a Vifit, and eaiily per-
ceiv'd the Caufe of his Difeafe. They prais'd his Paffioni
applauded his Choiccj and very religioufly ofler'd their
Service in this amorous Adventure, t. e. they faw a Jie-
iation on the Brink of the Precipice, and would by all
Means fivour him with a civil Pufli ; for you muft know^
JSIeafider^ there is a Race of Men in thi> Ciiy, who en-
trench upon the Devil's Employment, or rather are his
Deputies, they tempt by his Commillion, and damn their
Friends out of Kindnefs , they are more fuccefsful and
more dangerous than their Mailer, becaufe lefs frightful,
and then they edge the Temptation both by Example and
Counfel.

Theomachus^s ill Fate drew him to a fecond Vifit, this
made way for a third; yet he ftood to hivRefolution^
and kept within the Limits of Modefty : But in the m.ean
time, the Fever of Love heighten'd, and the maligni-.nt
Humour paft through the Eyes to the Heart, and from
thence fum'd up to the Brain,- fo that now the Difeafe
not only infefted the Will, but tainted the Underftand-
ing. He began to venture on great Freedoms than ftood
with Virtue, and in a (hort time plung'd into Debauche-
ry : But when he retir'd into his Clofet, and Solitude
gave time for ferious Reflections; Grace open'd his Eyes
to fee his Fault, and they dropp'd Tears to deplore it ; h^
learnt by Experience, that the Pleafure of Sin bears no
Proportion with the Torment of it, that the Delight is
momentary, and the Pain may be eternal. And now he
feem'd refolv'd not only to hate his Crime, but even th^
Caufe of it: But thofe Debauchees who had been the In-
ftruments of his Fall, dafh'd all his pious Refolutions,,
and at length not only xjepriv'd him of Liberty, but of/
the very Defire to regain it.

R 2 Tearsj

244 ^^^ Gentleman In^mBeA.

Tears, fays one, have no ill Grace on a Child's Cheeks,
they become alio well enough the weaker Sex, who of-
tentimes plead their Caufe with them when Reafons fail,
and io at, the fame time redrefs a Grievance, and dif-
charge the Brain: But they argue an unpardonable
Weaknefs in a Man, and raife a flirewd Sufpicion he
has either over liv'd his Judgment, or never had one ; you
have made a falfe Step, and who does not trip fometimes?
Let your Heart ask Pardon, not your Eyes. Repent, if
you pleafe, but why tnuft you defpair? But before you
pronounce upon your felf, examine whether you are
guilty? Appeal to Reafon, not to Fancy, Prejudice, and
Education : Thofe are always upon the hurry, and be-
caufe they raife a Duft, they never fee Objeds in their
Proportion. God is a Father^ not a Tyrant ; if he has
laid fome Precepts upon us, he never intended to over-
whelm us. Why did he create Eyes, but to fee ? Or
Ears, but to hear? Will he permit us to behold nothing
but Monfters ? Or to fmell nothing but Stench and In-
fedion ? This is to make our Senfes a Burthen, rather
than a Bleffing, it*s to turn into a Curfe the very Benefit
of our Creation.

No, no, Iheomachus^ when God fram'd our Senfes ca-
pable to receive Pleafure, he created Objedls fit to give
it; and 1 am of Opinion, that Pleafures of the Senfe have
nothing criminal but Miftake. I thank that great Deity
that made me, for the Favour of my Creation; I pay
him Obedience every Day, and commit my felf to his
Protedion : Now jf at the fame time I indulge Nature,
and give it a Play-day, where is the Harm ? Mull he be
offended, becaufe I am pleas'd ? Or cannot he be happy,
if 1 am m.erry ? Indeed I declare againft thofe who fly in
the Face of Majefty ; who burlelque his Goodnefs, and
lampoon his Juitice; thofe are Attempts againft his Per-
fon, Overt-ads of Hoftility, and Rebellion, they are
Crimes of the firft Clafs, and if they are not punifh'd
witli Fire hereafter, at leaft they deferve it. , Speak
honourably of God, pay your Workmen, injure no
Man, and you cannot mifcarry.

The Gentleman has Reafon, fays another, he has fpo-
ken like a Man of P^arts and A^erit. I lay once under
the fame Miftake as you Theomachns; and never enjoy'd
mv Freedom till I eas'd myfcif of the Yoak ofConfcience,

and

The Gentleman InflruBed. 2 45

and Reftraint : Qualms damp'd all my Pleafures, and me-
lancholy Spedres fiung Wormwood' into all my Di-
verfions; but I have realbn'd my felf out of thefe Iple-
netick Vapours ; and laugh at thefe fantaftick Monfters;
they once tormented me ; b,ut, continu'd he, what if
there be no God ? What if you flafli into nothing when
you ceafe to breathe ? And that Fear and Hope lleep in
the Grave ? Will your Virtue then convey you to Hea-
ven ? .Or your Sins to Hell? Be firft fure there is a future
State, before you part with the prefent. When you can
demonftrate there is a God, 'twill be time enough toferve
him : Tell me not the Being of a Deity is pall Debate,
nor that all Nations conipire in this Belief ^ JVIatters of
this Nature are not to be put to Vote, they mull not be
judg'd by Plurality of Voice, Rcalbn muft decide the Que-
ftion, not Numbers ; Truth is Truth, tho' all the World
deny it ; and Falfhood is Falfhood, tho' a;! abett it. Pe-
rufe thefe Books with an unprejudic'd Mind, with that
he laid on the Table Hobbs^ Spinofa^ and other Pam-
phlets, the Spawn of our Age, and the i^lague of our
unhappy Nation.

This new Syllem of Divinity llunn'd him, he knew
not whether he fhould receive it with Laughter or Indig-
nation, for tho' on the one Side he fuppos'd they jelled,
yet on the other they play'd on too lerious a Subjeft :
Tho' he had forfeited his Innocence, he had not yet took
leave of Religion ; fo that he could not endure to hear
the Decalogue traduc'd. Virtue levell'd with Vice, and
God himfelf degraded by a Pack of Atheifts, who have
no other Reafon to quarrel with his Being, but becaufe
he curbs their Lulls, and lafhes their Confcience with
Scorpions.

But the Devil of Love that polTeft this unhappy Gen-
tleman, begun to rife again, he perceiv'd that Indulgence
had whetted his Paffion, infteadof blunting it ; and that
it was impolTible to gratify Scnfuality without provoking
Confcience. In this Agony between Fear and Delirehe
firll cried out ; if theJe Gentlemen's Tenets are not
true, they are at leafl convenient, they give full Scope to
Senfe, and reconcile Confcience with Pleafure ; then he
wifh'd they were true, and after a Paufe, perchance they
are, faid he, latter Ages have difcover'da new World,
why may they not a new" Truth ? At leaft there is no

R 3 Harm,

a4<^ 'ithc Gentleman Inflni^ed,

Harm in examining their Principles. It they prove fa*
tisfadlory, 1 may enjoy my Paffion, if not, I am relolv'd
toflifleit. Thus did Atheilm make its Approaches by
Degree, it work'd at firft out of Sight, and under a Dif-
guife, and then turn'd poor Theomachus out of his Reli-
gion and Wits too.

He fell upon the Books with fo great Eagernefs, that
he feem'd rather to devour than read them : And when
he fell upon the Panegyrick of human Reafon, or an In-
veftive againft Prejudice and Education: This is fair
Pealing, faid he ! this is to build on Principles ; to ftand
on a fure Foundation, we cannot go allray under the
Conduft of Reafon ; Intereft cannot break in upon its
Integrity ; it adls without Biafs, without Partiality ; its
Judgment is infallible, and its Decifions Oracles. Pre-
judice and Education are the Bane of Truth : They fo
crowd our Heads v/ith old Species, that they leave'nQ
room for new ones ; fo that we either a6l out of Cuflom
or Spite.

But he had done well to confider, that they who inveft
our Underftandings with the Prerogative of Infallibility,
arc infallibly Coxcombs^ that they are great Strangers to
Keafon, who think it above Error, and that they are cer-
tainly miftaken, who fuppofe it cannot bcdecelv'd. 'Tis
true indeed. Prejudice and Education oftentimes rather
leads us from Truth, than to it. And it is more fecure
to make the Enquiry alone, than in their Company, but
when Men declaim agaipft them without Mean or Mea-
fure, 'tis a Sign they are tainted with the Difeafe, for
where there is Hear, there is no Indifference : And fo they
only condem.n one Prejudice with a greater.

However, the Bo^^ks infeded him, they convey'd the
Contagion from his Heart to his Head ; fo that within a
fhort Time his Dife ife came to a Crijis, which prognofti-
cated nothing hut Aiheifm He found a ftrange (.harm in
the Stilc, their flourifliing Periods ftruck him with Ad-
miration. He thought a Vein of Wit and Elegance ran
through all their Difcourfes, fo that he was never tir'd
with reading nor praifmg them: The worft of Things
were prefented him under a handfome Ma(k, which
made them pafs; Poifon will not go down, unlefs it be
gilt or made palat.ible, and for this Reafon generally the
worft Books are writ the beftj barefac'd Impieties rather

move

The Gentleman InJiruBed. 247

move us to Indignation than Love, and therefore, thofs
Vt'ho expofe them to the pubhck View, take Care to fee
them off in a gaudy Drefs, to veil their real Deformity
under beautiful Trappings. I know many are of Theo-
machus^s Opinion, and make ftrange Difcoveries of Wit
in thefe Authors, where I find nothing but Blafphemy,
But fome Men are born under a happy Conftellation ;
they have the good Fortune to be dubb'd Wits, meerly
for fcoffing out of the common Road, and taking the
Confidence to deride thofe facred Myfteries, the greateft
part of Mankind reverences ; which certainly is no more
an Argument of a Man's Wit than of his Piety: But 'tis
a Demonftration, that an Engl'tjh Atheift was in the
Right when he faid, When Reason is againft a Man^ then
a Man will be againfi Reafon.

You muft not wonder if Theomachus once intoxicatecf
•with Atheiftical Wit, was foon bewitch'd with Atheifti-
cal Arguments ; every Sophifm feem'd conclufive, and
Demonftration fparkled in every Period. You would have
fworn thofe Gentlemen's Arguments were as evident as
Mathematical Pofiulatums ; or that they prov'd their
Thejis by Apollonius or Euclid: But after all, they build
on GuelTes, and ever beg the Queftion, but never prove
it. Sometimes they flirt at the Governm.ent of the Uni-
verfe ; then at God's Juftice j and fometimes again at his
Mercy ; and becaufe they cannot reconcile thefe two At-
tributes, they fuppofe they are incompatible ; as if Man's
Reafon, that cannot comprehend a File, were able to
grafp an Immenfity. However, thefe Argumenr^ which
rather work on Fancy, than convince the Underftanding,
debauch'd Theomachus, d^nd becaufe he could not, or would
jiot relblve them, he thought them unanfwerable.

Sometimes he would adjourn from his Clofet to the
Coffee-Houfe^ and venture upon a Difpute ; and when he
was put to a piung?, he laid the Mifcarriage rather upon
his own Ignorance, than on the Caufe he manag'd. So
befotted was he of his nev/ Mafters. In fine, the Employ-
ment of Theomachus jumps with his Name, and his xMo-
rals with his Faith ; he is a perfeft Atheift, that is, with-
out Religion, and by confequence without Morality: He
3ds as he believes; and the only Apology for his Vices, is
;he Corruption of his Principles.

"R 4. Tho'

^4^ The Gentleman Inflru^ei,

Tho' this unhappy Gentlemari abandon'd God, God
did not abandon him ; he ftruck him with a Fever, which
in fome Days brought him to Death's Door, and the Do-
6lor deliver'd him this doleful Mefl'age, A'r, you mufl die.
He who before difcours'd of Death, as if he had been
Immortal, broke into a Fit of Impatience and Diftradli-
on ; he fcarce knew where he was, much lefs what to re-
folve on ; he faw he could not live, and yet he would not
die. This ftrife between Life and Death call him into
flrange Convulfions ; and the Lofs of the prefent, with the
Fear of the future, fet all the Humours of his Body in a
Ferment. God awak'd his Confcience which flew in his
Face, and fet before his Eyes a whole Inventory of his
Crimes. He ftarted at the Sight of thefe ghaftly Monfters,
and fear'd himfelf more than Death, nay, more than Hell ;
for 'tis more to deferve thofe Torments than to fuffer 'em.
Oh, cry'd he, there is a God ! Sicknefs that has almofl
kiird my Body, quickens my Underftanding ! From thefe
laft Moments of Time, methinks, I take a Survey of E-
ternity ; and behold there a Judge who will punifli me,
if I die in Obftinacy, or reward me if I breathe out my
Soul in Repentance. Oh ! I will fly to his Mercy rather
than abide the Impartiality of his Juftice ! His Goodnefs
exceeds my Malice ; he can pardon more than I am able
to commit, and will receive me into Favour, if I fue for
it with Humility and Contrition. In fhort, he. fent out
fuch fiery Ejaculations, that they feem'd to flow rather
from the Bi>eaft of a Seraphin^ than of a Man. He de-
tefted Atheifm with all the Caufes of it, and wifh'd he
had loft his Eyes, before they look'd upon thofe fcanda-
lous Books, that corrupted his Will, and poifon'd his
Underftanding : He water'd his Bed, in a very literal
Senfe, with his Tears ; nor could all the Perfuafions of
his Friends ftop the Current. He now had no regard for
the Body, that was once his Idol ; nay, he wifh'd that
Sorrow would rather put an End to his Life, than Na-
ture. But Theomachtts beyond Expeftation recover'd,
and what is amazing, relaps'd into his old Difeafe :
Scarce did he enjoy the Favour of a perfe6t Health, but
he fpurn'd at his Benefadtor, and fell into thofe Abomi-
nations he fo lately detefted ; as if God varied with our
Conftitutions, and vanifh'd into nothing when we are
ivell, and revives when we lie on our Death-Bed.

^h Gentleman InftruBed. 24^"

This is an Abridgment of Tkeomachus^s Life, and I
have been more particular in the Narrative, that you
may learn by his Misfortune, and draw fome Advantage
from his Mifcarriage : We may date his Ruin from the
Rife of hisPaflionj tho' debauch'd Company, and lewd
Books compleated it. Love funk the iVIind ; Conver-
fation and Reading put fire to the fatal Train, that blew
up T'heomachus^s Virtue: And from this tainted Spring
flow thofe unheard-of Abominations, that almoft drown
the Nation. Had not the Printers fo much Work, the
Preachers would have lefs ; but now the Prefs declares
War againft the Pulpit, and the Hawkers fcatter the
Defiance.

Neatt. This is a ftrange Story, and had I it from ano-
ther, I fhould be tempted to doubt whether Man be ca-
pable of fo great Inconftancy. Certainly it deferves a
Place in Hiftory. I may perchance be tempted, with
your leave, toexpofeit to the Publick.

Eufeb. I leave that to your Difcretion. Let's not for-
get our Atheift ; it's time to take Coach.

DIALOGUE IL

Whether there are any real Atheijis,

T^Hey walk'd down Stairs, and when they were in the
■*■ Coach, pray, faid Neauder, give me your Opinion,
are there any fuch Creatures in the World as real Atheifts ?
They fay this Vermin fwarms, and, like Egyptian Frogs,
crawl into the very Bed-chambers of Princes.

Eufeb. Atheifm is a meer Sound, an infignificant Word,
a modifh Blufler; but in Truth there is no fuch Monfter
in Nature, as a downright Atheift : I mean, no body in
his Senfes can ferioufly perfuade himfelf there is no God.
Men may huff and hedlor in a Rendezvous of Rakes
and Bullies j they may fwear they believe no fuch thing ;
and in a raving Tranfport of Debauchery defy it ; but
then you muft take all this for nothing but Cant and
Bravade : The denial fits on the Tongue alone ; 'tis ra-
ther a Wifh there were no God, than a ferious Profeilion
there is none ; for whilft they mock this pretended No-
thing,

jijo no Gentleman Injlru^sd.

thing, they tremble at the Apprehenfion of it; they fear
its Anger, though they deny its Being: So that thole we
call Atheiftsaffedl to appear what they are not; ;,nd by
a ftrange Frenzy, lay to their own Charge a Crirricthey
are not guilty of: And indeed the Perfualion that there
is a God, is rooted in Nature; we owe it neither to
Education nor Study : As our Maker has ftamp'd his
. Image in our Foreheads, fo he has alfo engraven'd the
• Knowledge of himfelf in our Souls; and altho' Debau-
chery may deface the Charadters, it can never deftroy
them.

Nean., Pray let us drive home again: I thought we had
been on an Expedition againft Atheifts ; but I perceive
they are Enemies of our Coining ; they are meer Phan-
toms that flafli from Fancy, and only lervefor Satyr and
Inveftive. What did that great Champion Dx.TtilotfotJ
enter the Lift againft Chymccrd% ? Did he duel with emp-
ty Apparitions, and fence with Shadows ?

JLiifeb. Miftakemenot; I told you there were no real
Atheifts. Idejl; that no Man can be fo far convinc'd
there is kq God^ but ftill he fears there is one. Let him
draw up a whole Legion of Atheiilical Arguments in
Bntalia, they cannot fecure the Underftanding from
Frights and Sufpicions ; for tho' they may look under the
falfe Lights of Prejudice and Partialiry very plaufible,
yet they cannot convey to the Intelledt, Evidence and
JDemonftration.

But then there are a world of limping Atheifts, who
walk between a God and no God ; that is, who fays there
is no Deity, and a<5t as if there were none ; and yet at
the fame time fufped there is one. This is that Race of
Men vi'e call Atheifts, who havedifmift their Underftand^
ing and Reafon with their Will.

Neafi. Under Favour, I muft trefpafs upon your Pati-
ence, and crave farther Inftru6tion ; for as yet I walk in
the dark, and do not apprehend your meaning: Cannot
the Being of a Deity be juftify'd by Arguments, tha;
|lafh Convidion?

Eufeb. Yes, it can,

Nean. It feems then impoffible for the Underftanding
even to doubt of a Truth, that prefents it felf in the glit-
tering Equipage of Demonftration ; for it is not Mailer
of its A6ts, as th$ Will ; it lies under the Command of

Necef-

The Gentleman Injim^kd. 2.5 1

NecefTity, and is compell'd to acknowledge Truth if it
appears in Perfon.

Eufeb. The Propofitions of Euclid zxq all Demonftra-
tions ; and yet a bare caft of the Eye on tlie Lines, or the
Titles, do not fend Truth in Poll to the Brain : Wemuft
iirft fee what the Author would be at ; then we muil: put
Antecedents^ and draw Confequences before we can difco-
ver that Light which flows from the Schemes to the
Head, and gilds the Underftanding, Now an Atheift is
iick of a Deity, and therefore will make no Acquaintance
with thofe Arguments that prove one ; they come upon
too ungrateful a Meflage to find a kind Reception ; and
generally when they afk an Audience, the Will denies
Admittance ; or at leaft it cuts out fo much other Work
for the Underft mding, that it can find no time to give
them a full Hearing: Like a Minifter of State, it hovers
about the Prince, and obftru6ls the free Paflage to the
Prefence: But then, when Arguments for no God ap-
pear, the Will puts on foot a hundred little Intrigues to
enfnare the Underftanding ; they are trick'd up for De-
lufion, and fitted for Deceit.

Neaff. I perceive it's a fine thing to be a Dupee : Why
elfe do Men take fuch Pains to impofe on themfelves ?
But can Men cheat themfelves in Reputation ? Or are
there fo great Charms in being over-reach'd? I thought
it was every Man's Intereft there were a God ; and there-
fore, methinks, it were more reafonable to believe, than
to wheedle our felves into Infidelity.

Eufeb. No doubt, it's the Intereft of Reafon, but not
of Senfuality, A Man who takes Pleafure for the Rule
of his Adlions, muft lie under ftrange Apprehenfions at
the very Thoughts of another Wo);ld. The dreadful
Glory of an exafperated Deity ; the fieiy Profpe6l of
boiling Brimftone, and the horrid Pourtraits of the in-
fernal Executioners, cannot chufe but work upon the
moft refolute Debauchee: Sin, tho' never fo pleafant,
with the difmal Confequencescf Judgment and Damna-
tion, fir very uneafy on his Confcienee, and counterpoife
the SweetneJs of the rrioft refin'd Senfuality with Gall
and Wormwood. Now thefe Creatures of Pleafure,
who cannot refolve on Repentance, have found out a
fhort way to plaifter up a Peace with Confcienee : They
commiflion their Lufts todrtwupon the Underftanding,

'2^2 'fhe Gentleman InflruM,

and compel it to deny, or at leaft to doubt of thoie
Truths that alarm them : And it cannot be deny'd, but
all inordinate Lulls biafs the Intellect, and make it fit
to receive thofe Impreflions which favour PaiTion. When
Men live as if there were no God, 'tis extreamly expe-
dient for them there were none; and when once they
are come fo far, they catch at all thofe Arguments,
which may fortify them in this Perfuafion ; and thefe
join'd with the Charms of Intereft, abate the Dread of
Divinity. 'Tis true, all thefe pretty Artifices are never
able to fecure them againft the Furies that rile from
another World to haunt them. Perchance there is a Gody
perchance there is a Hell, fright them into their Soli'i;ie
and Retirement, and fometimes into Taverns too: Yet
they have gain'd one Point by doubting, which they look
upon as a very confiderable Advantage, viz. that they
may live Rakes, and die Athiefts, without being fure
there is a God to call them to Account, or a Hell to
punifh them ; and certainly a Man may be faid in fome
Degree happy, that is not fure he fhall once be eternal-
ly miferable.

Now you fee the Heart has carried on the Contrivance,
and from this apoftem'd Member flows the Corruption
of Atheifm. And to cut off" all doubt, why do the ve-
ry high-flown Atheifts defert on their Death-beds thofe
Principles they once admir'd? Why do they turn Rene-
gadoes to Atheifm at the laft Gafp ? Have they receiv'd
new Lights from Doctors and Apothecaries ? No, no,
they have left the World behind ; Pleafuresare now out
of their reach, and paft Happinefs almoft out of their
Memory. They fancy at leaft an Eternity before them.
Fire under their Feet, and Vengeance over their Heads.
Thefe difmal Meditations cool PafBon, allay Luft, and
change the Heart ; but work no Alteration in the Un-
derftanding : So that I may conclude with David, The
Fool faid in his Heart there is no God. Atheifm lodges
in the Breaft, and a Deity in the Head. Men do not be-
lieve a God, becaufe they will not ; to gratify Senfe,
they difoblige Reafon ; and hug Infidelity, to feer Con-
fcience.

D I A-

S%e Gentleman InftruBed, 2^3

DIALOGUE III.

Eufebius and Theomachus meet And agree on the Pre^
liminaries.

Scarce had Eufebius ended, when the Coach ftopp'd at
Theomachus's Lodgings, who expedted him with a
young Gentleman we call £»<^o;raj. This Blade was a
great Pretender to Wit ; and to follow the Stream of Cu-
ftom, would make the firft Eflayofit, in a Critick of
Religion : He receiv'd the Rudiments of Latitudinari-
anifm from Arioviftus ; and was grown a wondrous Pro-
ficient in the Science of Impiety : He pafs'd the Line
of Chriftianity ; and although he had not yet touch'd
upon the Point of Atheifm, he was arriv'd, zs Arioviftus
us'd to talk, at the Cape of Good Hope ; in fine, he yet
acknowledg'd a God, admitted all Religion, and would
condemn none.

After fome mutual Civilities : This is the Gentleman,
faid Neander^ I fpoke of Yefterday ; if Vi6lory favours
you, I hope you will give him fair Quarter for my
fake.

Theo. Never fear ; 'tis more glorious to ufe a Vidlory
modeftly, than to gain one. I had rather receive a Foil
from Eufeitius^ than be fubdu'd by Infolence. Reft fe-
cure, continu'd he with a fmile, if Fortune takes my fide,
•your Friend fhall have reafon to be fatisfied with me: I'll
immediately releafe him on his Parole not to bear Arms
againft Atheifm, till he be better inform'd.

Eufeb. I am much oblig'd for your Civility ; if I fall
under the Weight of your Arguments, I abandon my
felf wholly to your Generofity : Prifoners of War, like
Minors^ are uncapable to Article ; they lie at the Mercy
of the Conqueror, and muft receive Conditions, but can
make none. But, Sir, I muft beg Pardon for my Rude-
nefs ; for altho' Neander told me you earneftly defir'd a
Conference, yet I am fenfible, that it's neither genteel
nor handfome to falute a Stranger with a Difpute; nor
to make Acquaintance in a Duel : But, Sir, I come here
todifcourfe, not to contend. I feek Truth, which, like
Pearls, is only found in a Calm ; and unlefs we all re-
folve to abandon Error when we perceive it, 'tis better

to

254 ^^^ Gentleman InfruBed,

to forbear the Engagement : For if we look upon the
Conference as a Tryal of Wit, and perfuade our felves
it's more difhonourable to own an Error than to defend
one in Spight of Evidence, we fhall take a great deal of
Pains to difcompofe our felves j and then the Queftion
will be, who has molt Paffion, not who has molt Rea-
fon : For when a Man is pinch'd and will not furrender ;
when his Reafons are weak and his Obftinacy ftrong %
he calls in Heat and Paflion to his AlTiftance ; the only-
Supports of a finking Caufe; and I take it. for granted,
that a IVIan never wants Arguments to relieve a droop-
ing Thefii., but he fupplies the Want with Noife and
Clamour.

'theom. You fpeak my Thoughts ; Reafon forc'd me
to deny a God, and when Reafon tells me there is one,
I will fubmit to its Didamens. I never wed an Opinion
for better, for worfe : What I took upon good Grounds,
I lay down upon better: I do not hug a Miftake, nor
Pride in an Error, nor ever laid Claim to Infallibility. I
cannot well comprehend What thofe Pretenders to Science
■Would be at, who faften on the firft Notions, and will
no more part with them, than a Spaniard^\\\\ his Basket-
Hilt or Golilia : They fancy furely that Truth fwims oii
the Surface, and that the belt Thoughts lie always up-
permoft ; but then they would do well to confider, they
give Children a confiderable Advantage over Men ; for
Knowledge will no more be the Confequence of Time
and Experience : We fhall live no more to learn Wif-
dom, but to be fix'd in Folly. In a word, I will no
more enllave my Underftanding, than my Perfon ; and I
value at as high a Rate the Liberty of Thinking, as of
Adting. Convince me there is a God, and I'll take my
laft Farewel of Atheifm.

Eufeb. Indifference is an excellent Difpofition ; we
feldom purfue Truth without Prejudice, but we take it. .
I have a Favourer two to beg before we begin, conti-
nued Ettfebius. Firfl^ Let us fpeak by Turns : I am no
Friend to Noife, and cannot be reconcil'd to thofe fiery
Difputants who iiingoUt Arguments, one upon the Back
of the other, yet will not have the Patience to receive
one Anfwer: This is not to confer, but to wrangle ; and
altho* it may become the Skippers oilVapping^ or the Oy-
ller- women at BilUngfsrate^ yet it fuits not well the Breed-

^'he Gentleman Inflru^ed, 25^

ing of Gentlemen. An Argument propos'd with Noife
and Bluftering, may break the Head, and dilmount the
Brain, but it never makes laiprcflion on the Underftand-
ing ; Truth, Hke a gentle Shower, foaks through the Ears,
and moiftens the Intelled.

Theom. I was drawing up that Article, and am glad
you have foreftall'd me ; you are of my Temper : I would
have a Dhpute manag'd with Vigour, but not with Heat ;
that infpirits Converfation, this confounds it : Notwith-
llanding, difputing is hot Service, I confefs, and gene-
rally is perforra'd with too much Eagernefs to be fuccefs-
ful ; nay, I was once acquainted with a moll even tem-
per'd Man, who after he had drawn Blood, as I may
fay, and was flefli'd in Polemicks, never waver'd his good
Humour afterwards.

Eufeb, I muft alfo defire you to avoid Miftakes, to
call in an Amanuenfis. When our Anfwers and Obje6li-^
ons are committed to Paper, and fign'd by both Parties,
there will be no Fear of Mifreprefentation. I have often
feen a Conference in Print, nothing like the Original ;
and he who crow'd in the Pamphlet, cry'd craven in the
Chamber. Theomachns prefently approv'd the Propofition,
and fent for an Amanuemfis : So that now the Prelimina-
ries were agreed to, and all things feem'd ready for the
Engagement.

But Eujebius who faw a great Intimacy between £«-
doxus and Theomachus^ fuppcs'd they Vv^ere not much
divided in Opinion ; and therefore that he might attack
them both at the fame time, if helean'd towards Z^^-z/w?^
delir'd to know his Principles. Sir, faid he, addreiling
his Difcourfe to Eudoxus, I hope without Rudenefs I may
ask what Religion you profefs ? We are now met to
difcourfe of that Subject, and perchance yours may come
within the reach of thefe Arguments I intend to level
at Atheifm. In Italy and Spain fuch Queilions are fu-
perfluous ; and in France, when you find a Man no Pa-
pijly you conclude he is a Hugemt. But our Ifland is
more prolifick, and yields annual Crops of Religion, as
well as of Corn. One Grain of Faith fprouts up into a
hundred : And I am told, that you may poll the People
more eafily than their Tenets: So that Religions rife and
fall as well as Men; and therefore, with Submiflion to
my Lord Mayor's belter Judgment, I would have the

Morta-

Z5(5 T'^^ G E N T L E M A N Ififiru^ed,

Mortality of Churches put in the weekly Bills, togethet
with that of the Inhabitants.

Eudox. Liberty and Property are the Birth-right of
every free-born Englijh Subjedl : And I fee not why the
fame great Charter fhould not enfranchife his Belief, as
well as his Goods and Chattels. England^ Sir, is a
nice Nation ; I may add, and pious alfo. We pay Ho-
mage and Obedience to the Lord, and will ftand for his
juft Right and Prerogatives ; but then we forget not
our darling Liberty j we refpeft him as Children, not
as Slaves, and walk in his Ways with Freedom, not in
Tramels.

Eufeb. You acknowledge then a God.

Eudox. I do. I am alfo perfuaded there is a Heaven,
and think there may pofTibly be a Hell ; thefe Articles I
fubfcribe to : But no Man fhall ftretch my Faith to ano-
ther Tenet, or command my Obedience to a Camu
more. This is my Nonplusultra ; what lies on the other
iide of thefe Points, is an unknown Region to my Faith,
tho' not to my Opinion. I confefs I do not underftand
what God is, tho' I adore him j yet I know enough
to admire his Greatnefs, and my own nothing. I love
fometimes to lofe my felf in the Labyrinth of his Perfec-
tions; to purfuemy Reafon to an, Oh Altitudo! In my
Retirement, I pofe my Apprehenfion with the intricate
Attributes of his Eternity, Goodnefs and Juftice ; and
thofe very Objedions that flartle another Man's Faith,
confirm mine : To believe what I can prove, is rather
Science than Faith. I recreate my felf therefore with his
Goodnefs, and confound my Underftanding with his
Eternity ; and put all Suggeftions of Infidelity out of
Countenance with this old faying of TertulUan^ Cerium
eji, quia impojfibile eft.

I read no Cafuifl but my Reafon, and am of Opini-
on, that God pardons fome Sins as eafily as we commit
them : My Confcience is neither of Steel, nor of Wax ;
heavy Offences batter it, but a Peccadillo of Infirmity
makes no Impreffion. I thank God, all my Sins have
Names, and are rather Friends to Senfe, than Enemies
to Reafon ; they neither attack God, nor wound my
Neighbour ; they only refrefh fometimes my drooping
Spirits, and gently purge Melancholy. In my folitary
Thoughts, 1 compute and call up Accounts with my

Maker i

'The Gentleman InflruBed, 257

Maker ; and I find fuch a Confider.ce in his Mercy, that
my youthful Failings are not able to affright me. Nay,
methinks, I am tempted freqi-ently to offend, that I may
have the Satisfadion of asking Pardon : And no Medi-
tation catries me fo faft to God^ as that of his Goodneft,
^hich forgives with fo fnueh Eafe^thofe Tranfgreffions
that hurry me from him.

Now if any Man will quibble upon my Syrtibol of
Faith, I can eafily forgive him. J cannot be angry with
another's Judgment for difagr.eeing from mine: And tho'
I think my felf in the right Way, 1 dare not conclude,
my Opponents are in the wrong. Each Religion is but
a difterent Road, that meets at Heaven ; and if fome
will walk on in the ftraight Path, charged with a Lum-
ber of Articles, Precepts, and Ceremonies, let them jog
on, their Burthen will not load me: If they loVe to
fweat under their Devotion, I vote them that Satisfadli-
on : If they will not communicate with me, I have no
Scruple to converfe with them ; their ill Nature (hall not
influence my Charity : I can enter mto a Papift Churchy
and either pray with them, or for them ; the Place can't
prof^ine^roy Prayers; wherever the Creator is, he may
be'adbr-ci-j^a'rtdtherefofeat Co»/?d«//»<//>/f', I would enter
"\x\X^i-''Mjyqt4e^QX into a Pngode in Bengali or Siam ; for if
,^ i-*'mdhn'rnet'ui^''i or Idjlater^^ Prayer offends God, mine
' may pleafe him ; if theirs pollute the Place, mine may
fandtify- it ;, for if they diredl their Devotions to a Statue,
©r Impoftor, 1 offer mine to God ; and fo rectify iheEr-
rorbf their Worfhip, by well ordering mine.

Lufeb, Tho' your Life be ftrait-l.ic'd, your Charity
5s comprehenIi\;^e. I fuppofe the Univerfality of this muft:
atone for the Singularity of the other. Well,- Sir, in a
Word, continued he, you profefs one Religion, and ap-
prove all; and fo fall into the Clafs of Lititfidinartans t
You are a Lexeller, and would bring* into the World
an Equality of Religions, as well as Goods and Dig-
nities. You lie then under the fame Latitude with
J'heomiichus^ and the Stroke that hits him will wound;
you. Well, Sir, (addreffing himfelf to T'heomachus )
choofe your Weapon ; are you ioi the offenlive or de-
fenfive?

Tbeom. Let us have our Turns ; We will engage on

Ǥual Terms, But you are in ray Houfe 5 the Laws of

S Braed-^

25S ^^^« Gentleman InflruM.

Breeding and Civility command me to give you the Pre-
cedency. I leave it therefore to your Choice.

Eufeb. I fee you are refolv'd to overcome me with Ci-
vility, before you vanquifli me with Reafon. But I will
not contend with you at this Weapon. I accept your
Offer, and will not offend your Principles, before 1 de-
fend my own.

DIALOGUE IV.

The Atheift cannot he [ure there is no God^ nor the Lati-
tudinarian that all Religions are faving.

Eufeh. T Suppofc neither of you are fo fatisfy'd with your
•*- Religions, as never to be haunted with Fears,
nor fcar'd with Doubts and Apprehenfions ; for nothing
can fecure the Underftanding, and fix the Judgment, but
Evidence. Now I cannot perfuade my felf, that any
Atheifl, Libertine, or Lat4tudinarian dare venture on fo
bold an Attempt, as to thruft on Mankind thofc Argu-
ments for Demonftrations,^ that under a fine Appearance
hide nothing but Falfhood'and Sophiftry. I doubt not
indeed, but the Will may byafs the Underftanding, and
force out an AfTent ; but then this can be no more fteady
than meer Philofophical Concluiions, that f^y no higher
than Opinion : For whilft each Side of a Contradiction
bids fair for Truth, we cannot tell on which fide it lies,
find fo float on Uncertainties ; and though we judge the
Thefis true, we fear it may be falfe. I will therefore, for
once, deal more generoufly with you, than I am oblig'd
m Reafon : I will, I fay, grant that your Tenets are
doubtful ; but then when I do you a Favour be pleas'd
to do me JuPdce, and confefs, that 'tis probable there is
a God, and that there is one reveal'd Religion. I only
ask what you cannot refufe without Injultice, for cer-
tainly if we appeal either to the Tribunal of Reafon, or
Authority, I fliall carry my Caufe ; for the Afferters of
a God plead for his Exiftence with folid Reafons; where-
as you meerly beg the Qiieftion you are to prove, and
bring no more but a bare PofTihility for the Support of
your Hypothefis; And then, you can pretend no right to

Autho-

^he Gentleman InfiruBe^, 25^

Authority. The Founders of Atheifm and Libertinifm
were look'd upon as Monfters in the very Places they
liv'd, and delerv'd Punifhmentfor their Lewdnefs, before
they fufFer'd Banifhment for their Impiety.
' Epicure and Theodore were profligate Wretches ; their
Morals run even with their Divinity; they exterminated
Virtue with P^eligion, and debauch'd both Pradtice and
Principle; their Scholars have out-done both the Origi-
nals, and improv'd both Irreugion and Impiety. Now
Men who are a common Nuifance to their Country, a
Misfortune to the Age they live in, and an eternal Shame
to their Species, and have little Authority with thofe,
who have one grain of Kindnefs for their Nature ; they
are better qualified for the Bar than the Bench, and more
fit to fuf/er than to witnefs.

But thofe who avouch for me, are as admirable for
Learning, as Piety ; they are without Number, and a-
bove Reproach : So great Authority back'd with weighty
Reafon, mull be confefs'd fufficientto makeour Opinion
probable, I might fay certain ; but I wave the Advan-
tage, I may claim both in Equity and Juftice, and only
ask what you are too reafonable to refufe, viz. That itii
probable at leaft there is a God.

Theom. I have read all I could find on this Subject ;
and am forc'd to confefs, our Authors hav-e promised
more than they are able to perform : Their Demonftra-
tions for no God leave, methinks, fome Apprehenfion
there // one ; and I find them work more efficacioiifly
upon my Underilandingin Company, than in Solitude;
and in Taverns, than in my Clofet.

Eufeb. That is ; when Senfuality has ftarted the Gafne,
and Paflions are on the Wing; when Appetite purfues
criminal Pleafure, and Confcience checks you \vith the
difmal Apparitions of Hell, and Judgment ; then the
Will is too hard for the Underftanding; it turns the
falfeEnd of the Profpedlive, and magnifies thefe Argu-
ments that favour Li.ft, and folicit for Liberty: But
then again, when the Hurry is oyer, and your difcerning
Faculty lies under no Reftraint nor Fallacy ; when it con-
templates the Proofs for no God in their juit Proportion, it
tvavers with Fears; and tho* on the one fide it concludes
there is no God^ yet on the other it fufpedts there is one.
Now, Sir, I do not ask what your Opinion is, when

S 2 PalTtoa

a 60 7'h Gentleman InJ}rt4£fed,

Paflion runs down the Underftanding ; when Defire de*
bauches it, and Senfe flings Reafon off the Hinges; but
"What it is when your Intelled adls without Bribery,
without Illufion, without PariiaHty.

Theom. Well; that we may rid our Hands of Prelimi-
naries, and enter upon A6lion, ril condefcend fo far, as
to grant, that it's doubtful whether there be a Gody or
no God; and much good may the ConcefTion do you.

Eufeb. Eudoxui ! Will you enter into the Treaty? It*$
better to compound a le* amiable^ than by Force.

Endox. That is, unlefs I fairly confefs, it's doubtful
^t leaft, whether all Religions are faving; you'll compel
ine by dint of Argument.

■ Eufeb. Right; and pray put me not to the Labour of
proving a Truth that difcovers itfelf, and even glares up-^
on the Underftanding.

Eudox. I know not what Imprtsflion this Truth (as you
are pleas'd to call it) makes on your Organ, methinks,
itafFe61:s not mine ; and I am perfuaded that a Man of
inoderate Parts may prove ad Evidentiam^ that all Reli-
gions are faving ; but I willingly decline that Task, not
to prejudice the Subjed: ; yet I'll venture to propofe one
Argument, that offers it felf to every Man, and may
be comprehended by a Child, tho' not evaded by a Dt-
•vine.

Eufeb Such Arguments deferve Refped, and it's pity
to Dury them in Silence and Oblivion.

Eudox. Raillery apart : What can God require of
li'Ian, but Worfhip, Love, and Obedience ?
Eufeb. Nothing.

Eudox. Therefore whatever Religion a Man profelles;
if he worfliips God as his Creator ; if he loves him as
his Father, and obeys him as a Sovereign ; does he
not difcharge himfelf of thofe Duties God's Excellence
demands, and his Dependency ? Does he not comply
with all the Branches of Subjedtion? Does he not ftand
within the Bounds of Submiflion ? Now, what Religi-
on does not teach its Profelytes to proftrate before God's
Majefty ? to love his Goodnefe? to dread his Juftice?
and to receive his Laws with Reverence? Indeed the
rnanner of Worfhip is not uniform; it varies with the
Climate, and is adapted to Mens Conftitutions. ?ref-
byterianifm jumps with a Republican Genius; and for

lhi»

^z Gentleman InJiruM. i6i

this Reafon was moft nicely eftablifh'd in Scotland. The
Laws fenc€ Prelacy in England. Popery bears all before
it in France^ Spaift^ and Italy. The /i/coran bewitches the
Levant. Amida and Xaca, yapnn. The Laplanders bow
to Che red Cloth, and fome I/landers to a Baboon's
Tooth : Yet thefe different Worfliips meet in the fame
Center, and terminate in one God blejfed for ever. I
have not fprung this Divinity ; I owe it to a late re-
verend Bifhop, who maintained it with Applaufe againft
his Popifh Adverfaries ; the ancient Pagans neither
adorM 'jtocks nor Stones, but the invincible^ liviyyg God,
under the Shapes of Marsj Apolloj and Jupiter Opt.
Max.

If therefore Men of all Perfuafions worfhip God;
why fhall they forfeit all Right to his Mercy? Why
fhall loyal Subjects be confounded with Mutineers? or
fufFer for Frcafon they never dream'd of? If they do
not agree in Ceremonies, they do in the Subllance :
Tho' fometimes their Bodies bend before an Idol, their
Hearts fall a Sacrifice to their Creator ; and whilfl; their
Intention goes right, their Adlions cannot go wrong,

Eufeb. Air your Demonftration, Eudoxus^ it fmells of
Brimftone, and rather proves the Author will be damn'd,
than that all Religions are faving. Methinks, it has lb
black, fo monftrous an Afpe6t, that it rather frights .
than convinces : A Man muft be below the Standard of
human Nature ; he muft have fomething of favage, and
devilifh too in his Compofition, to bolt out fuch killing
Doftrine in cold Blood. Pardon my Heat, I am not
jMafter of my Refentments in fo provoking Occafions ;
and when can Pallion be innocent, but in fuch an extra-
ordinary Circumftance ? But pray, can God reveal a
Religion ?

Eudox. Doubtlefshe can.

Enfeb. If therefore he reveals one, and commands all
Men to embrace it under Pain of Damnation ; I fuppofe
the Precept is obligatory in England^ without the Con-
fent of the great Reprefentatives, the Lords and Com-
mons in Parliament.

Eudox. Yes, certainly, God's Power goes higher tha^j
X)\Q negative Votes j his Will alone is a Law, without
the Concurrence of either Houfe.

S 3 Eufeb.

2 6i The Gentleman InftruBed.

Eufeb. If therefore he has reveal'cl a Religion, and
commands all to embrace it, under Pain of Dananalion ;
what will become of your Demonilraiion ?

Eudox. Why faith, like a difabled Soldier, it fliall
trudge to Chelfea, and take up with the Invalids ; for
Arguments that have receiv'd on Duty Scars, deferves
Confideration as well as Soldiers. Prove he has reveal'd
one, and I am yours.

Er:feb. Expcdl not a general Mufter of thofe Argu-
ments Chrjftian Divines draw into the Field againft in-
fidels ; this is a Task above my Force, and requires
much Application ; nor does our Controverfy require
it ; for my prefent Bofinefs is not to convince you, that
Chriftianity is evidently true, or evidently credible ; but
only, that it's probable, at leaft, God has reveal'd it,
and commands all Nations to embrace it. If I candif-
charge my feif of this Attempt with Succefs, my Defign
is at an End.

Wells Sir, there are Chriftians in the World ; and if
we walic back into paft Ages, we fhall ^nd that Jesus
Christ was their Founder; thisisaTrutii that admits of
no Debate: It cannot be queftion'd by thole that aft like
Men, and yield to Evidence. This Jesus was born in
a Stable, and paft thirty Years in Poverty and Obfcurity.
Then he began to preach, and confirm'd his Doctrine
with Prodigies ; he gave Health to the Sick, Light to
the Blind, and even Life to the Dead ; At laft he died
by Man's Malice, and reviv'd the third Day by his own
Power ; he fent twelve Fifhermen to fubdue the World
to the Law of the Gofpel ; they obey'd his Command ;
Succefs waited on their Labour, and crown'd their En-
deavours ; fo that in fome Years the Chriltian Religion
fpread its Conqueft beyond the Bounds of the Romayi
Empire. Prejudice, Liberiinifm and Atheiim confpir'd
its Ruin. Philofjphers oppos'd Arguments, Emperors
Torments, and Libertines the (;^mnipotent Attradlives of
Senfuality. Y'et Chri{lianityjlJroke through the Violence
of the Oppolitions, it mukiply'd by Difputes, and en-
creas'd by Perfecution. Ten Millions of Martyrs loft
their Lives in the Quarrel ; they demonitrated the Truth of
their Creed, by the Conftancy of their invincible Valour ;
and though they funk under the Excefs of Torments, they
evercarae; nay, oftentimesby the Force of Miracles they

turn'd

turn'd the very Executioners into Confeffions, and the
Tyrants into Martyrs. In fine, Chriftian Religion has
always appear'd holy, always victorious, always attack'd
by the impious, and always triumphant over Impiety.

Now, if we confider the Means Chrift made uie of
to raife this Empire over the Hearts and Confciences of
Men, we (hall find them diametrically oppofite to all the
Rules of human Policy, and had not this great Defign
been jfirft laid, and then carried on by God himfelf, it
mull have prov'd an abortive Embryon^ i. e. an Attempt
conmv'd without Prudence, and foUow'd by Difap-
pointment.

Firji, The Articles to be believ'd were extraordinary,
and rather feem'd to revolt the Underltanding, than to
deferve Credit. A God ; One in EfTence, and Three in
Perfons, appear'd a Paradox in the Pofition; and God
made Man a Blafphemy to the Jews^ and a Folly to the
Gentiles. , Tho' the Refurredion of the Dead might be
good News to the virtuous, yet it could meet with no
kind Reception from the vicious ; it was more capable
to enflame their Anger, than to work upon their Belief^
and to make them Enemies, than Abettors. .^

Secondly^ The Precepts of Morality crofs more on
Senfe, than the Credenda feem to clafli with Reafon :
They bridle the Sallies of corrupt Nature, and not only
put a Reftraint upon our Actions, but even on our De-
fires : They regulate every Motion, and bind up every
Appetite to its good Behaviour ; they inculcate nothing
but Mortification, Perfecution and Self-abnegation in this
World, and referve Pleafures for the future. They
brought into the World a new Syftem of Morality,
they condemn'd- thefe Vices which Senfuality had deified,
and canoniz'd thole Virtues that were perfecuted by
fome, unknown to others, and condemn'd by all. Na-
ture indeed bids us love our Friends, but Chrift com-
mands us to ftretch our Affections to our Enemies: We
muft return Favours for Injuries, Kindnefs for Hatred,
and' revenge Affronts with Pardon: We muft place our
Wealth in Poverty, our Glory in Ignominy, and our Am-
bition in the Conqueft of Heaven. Such mortifying Do-
ctrine in all Probability was more likely to fcare People
from Chriftianity, than to draw 'em to it; and no doubt
?.S Gamaliel faid, it had began and §nded at the fame

S 4 Time;

164 7%e Gentleman Itjjruffed.

Time ; its Rife and its Fall would have had but one
Epcque, had not God by the divine Influence of his
Grace, conquer'd the rebellious Hearts of iMen, whilft
the Apoftles fet upon their Underltanding with the Force
of Rcafon and Miracles; th^t Mahomeiilm Ihou Id di-
late it felf to a prodigious Extent, is not llrange ; it at-
tacks Men on their vi'eak Side, its Maxims fawn on Na-
ture, and flatter Senfuality; it permits Crimes, and pro-
rnifes Impunity ; and yet it was propagued by the Sword,
and prefi'd on Mank nd by Fire, and Devaftation ; it
went no farther than the Barhnrians Coiiqueft: And the
Levant^ with part oi the Indies were Slaves before they
became Mahometaas : But the Increafe of Chriftianity
is owing neither to Armies, nor Battles; it overcame the
World by fuftering Humility and Perfecution ; and God
made ufe of poor, ignorant, and weak Men, for the ac-
complifhing this great Defign, that his Fower might ap-
pear the greater.

Now, that what I have to]d you is true, w hat Surety
do you require? To bid me fhew you thcfe Matter§ of
Fadt is ehilJifh i to call for a Mathematical Demonftra-
tion i<: ridiculous; and both impcfliule: We cannot be
aflur'd of Things p .ft, but by or:.l cr written 1 radiiion ;
both which Hand Lr me. I cun bring you A vouchers of
all Ages, and of all Countries: Some writ what they
faw, and feal'd their Writing with their Blood ; others
have hrnied dovi'ii to Pofterity what they receiv'd from
their Predeceflbrs: In a Word, a Man that will not be-
lieve Fafts contain'd in my fhort Account, by the fame
Rule mull believe nothing; but to uave farther Difpute,
and not to enter into the valt Oceim of thit. Controver-
fy ; I will only defire you to grant, that 'ti» probable
Chriftian Religion was reveal'd by God.

Eudox. Well, I grant your Rtqueft, but then wcfhall
be juft where we were ; for ftill hair your Task will re-»
main usdone: For tho' God has reveal'd this Religion,
by what Logic will you infer, that he comoiands all Men
to embrace it ?

Eufeb. I thank you for mindirgmeof my Duty, and
I will difcharge my felf of it in a Moment. Firft,
Chrift bids his Apoftles promulge his Law to all Nations;
Then he fays, that thofe who are baptiz'd and believe,
fhall be fav'd j but thofe wbo will not believe, fhall b$

con-

The GENTtiMAN InjlruEld, 26^

condemned ; that he will laugh at ihofc before the An-
gels, whofhall blufh toconfelshis Name on Eirih: In
fine, his Apoftle tells us, we can be fav'd in no other
Name but that of Jefus Chrijl. Thefe Paffagc^ prove
my 'Thejii without the trouble of Inference; th:y arc
plain without Glofs or Comment.

Eudox. Right, if you can afliire me the Places yoii
quote are canonical^ id eft^ either deliver'd by Chrift, or
at his Command, by hisApoftles.

Eu^eb. Why, Sir, you can no more queftion the Pla-
ces I cite, than the very Exiftence of Chrill, and of his
Apoftles ; for they Hand on the fame Botton : Tradition
that eftablifhes the one, confirms the other.

Eudox. Well, well, goon.

Euj'eb. Thus much therefore I have gain'd ; *tis doubt-
ful whether the/e be a God or no : 'Tis doubtful whether
Chrtjiiun Religion be not the onlyfavi»g Religion in the
World,

Theo. You have ; pray make your Advantage.

Eufeb. I will. Sir, and hope to improve my Advantage
fo far, as to demonitrale that Atheifts and Latitudina-
rians feem to lofe their Reafon the firll Moment they a-
buleit; and that, tho' they pretend to fquare their Be-
lief and Condudl by the Rules of the molt refin'd Pru-
dence, they fail mod wretchedly in the Execution.

Theo. I perceive, £Wca/<i, wemufi; prefently away to
Beihlem-y it will not be amifs to lay in Provifions befor-e
hand : But, Eufehias^ you have much Bufinefs on your
Hands, and before that be difpatch'd your Head may be ia
fomeDiforderallb : To your Task, if you pleafe.

DIALOGUE V.

It being fuppofed doubtful^ whether there be a Godj,
or whether all Religions are faving : The Atbeijls
and LatitHdinarians expoje themfelves to extream
Hazard.

Eufeb.'^r E are agreed at prefent, Theomachm., that

both thefe Propofitions are uncertain : There

is a God J there is no God', andygu, Eudoxusy are on the

fame

266 7%e Gentleman Injfrufhd.

fame Terms with me concerning thefe two : Any Religion
is faving. The Chrijiian Religion alone is faving : If
therefore it be true there is a Go J; 'tis certainly falfe
there is no God ; but then if it be true there is no God, by
the fame Rule 'tis falfe there is a God : Again, if it be
true all Religions are faving ; then 'tis falfe the Chrijiian
Religion aloKe is faving : but if it be true the Chrijiian
Religion alone is faving ; then 'tis alfo falfe all Religions
are faving: For God who can do all things, difowns the
Power of placing Truth in both Members of a Contra-
(di(5lion. Now, Gentlemen, I enter upon my Proof.

When two uncertain Opinions lie before me, I am
oblig'd by all the Laws of Prudence, to chufc that which
cannot prejudice me m^uch, tho* it chance to be falfe, and
will turn to my Advantage if it happen to be true ; and
on the contrary, 'tis an infallible Symptom of a crazy
Judgment, toclofewith that, which, tho' true, promifes
an inconfiderable Gain, and threatens me with Ruin and
Deftrud^ion, if falfe. This may be laid down as a Poftu-
latum for Practice, and is no lefs evident, than any Axiom
In Malhematicks is for Theory. By this Compafs the
•wife Statjfman fteers his Courfe; by this Card the thriv-
ing Merchant'fiils, and the cunning Gamefter models his
Play by this infallible Maxim. A wife Prince, before he
engages in an Expedition, draws up the whole Profpedt of
Gain, in cafe Succefs crowns his Enterprize; and that of
Lofs, in cafe it end in Difappointment and Mifcarriage ;
he weighs his Hopes with his Fears ; the Hazard of lo-
fuig, with the Probability of gaining; and will never em-
bark himfelf in an Enterprize hand over Head : When he
inovvf, thoug-'h Succefs follows his Standard, he fhall only
mailer an inconfiderable Village, or a contemptible
Town ; but if it flits over to his Enemies, his whole
Kingdom will be the Reward of their Vidtory, and the
Price of his Defeat: On the other fide, if a Prince falls
upon his Neighbour, at leaft with equal Forces, and
knows, if Fortune favours his Arms, he fhall fubdue a
K^ingdom ; and though it frowns he can only lofe an a-
bandon'd Bourg, and perchance not even that ; in this
Cafe, tho' he be difappointed of Succefs, he carries off
the Title of Wife and Prudent ; he play'd his Game well,
though he loft the Sett; and every Man muft be fo juft
to his Merit, as to confefs his venture was prudent, tho'
not fuccefsful. A Mer-

'fhe Gentleman Tnftru^ed, 2.57

A Merchant manages wjth Prudence and Caution his
Affairs, when he has brought the whole Myftery of Tra-
ding to fuch a Point, that his Gain may be excellive, and
his Lofs cannot be confiderable : But fhould a Man of
Traffick and Commerce put twenty thoufand Pounds a-
board a leaky Vellel, and fend it to the Indies, through
as many Dangers as there are Shelves in the Sea, or
Winds in the Compafs, with the bare Hopes of gaining
Six-pence ; would not -you, and all the World poll him
up for a Madman ? Would you not think him fitter to
lie in Bethlem, than to walk on the Exchange ?

Theum. Yes furely, I would judge him very rich, or
fuperlativeiy foolifli ; and would duck and drake away
my Money, rather than confide it to his keeping.

Eufeb. Should a Man lay me ten to one at Crofs or
Pile; I fuppofe you would call me wif* if I took the
Bett ? But then, iflfhould turn the Tables, and ftake a
Million againft a Farthing ; would you not brand me with
Folly and Extravagance ? Would you not conclude, that
either I knew not the true Value of Money, or thought
it a Burthen ? For, at this rate, I fliould drain a Trea-
fure in a Moment, greater than that oi Potoji, and turn
Bankrupt in fpight of good Luck itfelf.

"Theom. You can run out in Politions that are un-
doubtedly true: Pray wheel about to the Application;
methinks you llioot at Random.

Eufeb. I am for you prefently ; iVhen two Propojitions
are uncertain, by the Rules of Prudence you ought to chufe
that which cannot prejudice you, thtP it chance to b^ falfe j
and will infallibly turn to your Advantage, if it prove true.
On the contrary, 'tis an extream piece of Folly to regulate
your Conduct by that Opinion which will lead you into Ruin
and Defiruiiion, iffalfe ; and cannot better your Fortune^
or improve your Interejl, though true. Now, thofePropo-
fitions are luppos'd by us uncertain ; There is a God;
There is no God : All Religions are faving ; only the
Chrijiian Religion is faving. You are therefore both
oblig'd in Prudence to embrace thofe Opinions which
will prove highly advantageous to you, if true ; and will
bring no Difadvantage, if falfe.

Theom. We lubfcribe to your Conclufion.

Eufeb. But you embrace thofe Opinions, which, iffalfe,
hurry you into eternarMifery ^ and, if true, are not able

to

%6% T!^/? Gentleman Inflni&ed.

*o advantage your Happinefs : What then remains but
this Confequencc ; that you both forfake there glorious
Rules of Prudence and Reafon fo much extolled by A-
theifts and Latitudinarians, and never regarded when
they adt by their own Principles.

Theo. Ho, Sir ! You have been poring on Monfieur
Pafcal; at leaft you are not, I am fureof the Society;
for thofe good Fathers will not ftoop fo low as to take up
Arguments at fecond Hand, or to ufe Weapons beaten
on that Gentleman's Anvil.

Eufeb, Under Favour ; Argumentsare not like Cioaths,
the worfe for ufing ; Nay, methinks a Proof that has
been on frequent Service, is like thofe veteran Soldiers,
who neither ftart at the Noife of Muskets, nor the Re-
port of Cannons. Sir, let us not wake Monfieur Pafcaly
he ileeps quietly in his Grave j and if he has laid Crimes
at the Jefuits door they were not guilty of, he has long
fmce cry'd peccavi ; he has anfwer'd for his Letters at
God's Tribunal, and either receives Hell for the Punifh-
jnent, or Heaven for the Reward of his Labours : Tho'
fome have queftion'd his Charity, no Man ever doubted
of his Wit J and I am pretty well convinc'd he prefs'd
the Atheift more Home with this Argument, than he
pinch'd the Jefuits with his Dialogues. However, let us
ftep foftly over him; the Gentlemen of Port-Royal zm
good Friends, but dangerous Enemies; and if you attack
one, you draw the whole Fraternity upon you.

Theo. Well, Sir, I deny, tho'thisPropofitionbe falfe,
there is no God, I can receive any Difadvantage.

Etidox. And I am of the fame Opinion, tho' this hap-
pen to be falfe, all Religions are faviifg.

Eufeb. Let us then, for the prefent, fuppofe this Pro-
pofition is falfe, there is no God; therefore this is true,
there is a God: Now if there be a God, he isjuft.

Theo. He is.

Eufeh. Therefore he muft, and will punifh thofe who
tranfgrefs his Law, and queftion his Authority : For he
adls no lefs againft the Laws of Juftice, who winks at
Crimes, than he who martyrs Innocence : This we call
Tyranny and Oppreflion, that criminal Indulgence
and Partiality ; both ckfh with Juftice ; the one exceeds
a Mean, the other falls fhort of it : Now God cannot a6t
with Jufticcjunlcfs the Puniflimenrfcearsfome Propoi^tioa

with

fhe Gentleman Ittftru^ed. 16^

with the Offence : Seeing therefore there is an infinite
jbiftance between the Offender and the Perfon offended,
the Puniihment muft be in fome fort infinite ; but it
cannot be infinite in Intention; therefore it muflbe'in
Extenfion, or Continuance.

Befides, the Lives of the mofl refin*d Debauchees run
on in a never-interrupted Series of Profperity j they nei-
ther groan under the Fangs of Sicknefs, nor the ThxovfS
of Poverty ; they enjoy the Bleffing of Health, and wal-
iovi^ in Abundance ; their Undertakings, though laid
with Folly, come off with Succefs ; and fo they carry,
off Profit and Applaufe, though their Conduct deferves
Difappolntment and Contempt ; they fail on profper-
ouily with all Winds ; and if fometimes they ftick upon
a Rock, they only perceive the Danger to get off with
I'leafure. Now feeing God is juft, and does not drag;
out thefe Malefadlors to Execution in this World, 'tis
clear they will feel the Weight of his juft Refentmcnt in
the other. So that, Theontachus^ if there be a God,
you fee what awaits you hereafter, Juilice, Revenge,
Torments, and Mifery.

But then, if Chriftian Religion be true, and the on-
ly faving Religion in the World, the Scene is fhifted
from bad to worfe, from Horror to Amazement ; and
yon^Eudoxus^zxt in the fameMisfortune with your Friends
Though the Light of Nature tells us God will crown his
Friends in the next World, and chaftife his Enemies ; yet
the Light of Nature cannot particularize either the Re-
wards or Punifhments* This Arcanum we owe to Divine
Revelation alone, and we have Grounds fufficient, at
leaft, to make it highly probable he has reveal'd it ; and
if it be true, that he has, the Atheift and Latitudinarian
play Croj\ and Pile at an exceffive Difadvantage ; they
Itake an Eternity of Happinefs, and another of Mifery
againft a Bauble ; for they cannot lofe the firft without
falling foul on the fecond ; like accurfed Cain^ they
will be banifh'd from the Face of God, and carry on
their Foreheads a perpetual Mark of his Vengeance,
and their Reprobation : They will fry in Pitch and Flame,
in Brimf^one without Pity, without Compaffion, and,
what is worfe, without Term, without Annihilation ;
and can Fancy frame a greater Torment, than always to
be barr'd of the Sight 9f God i* And always to defire a

Glimofe

1J0 IH'e Gentleman Injiru^ed,

Glimpfe of that infinite Beauty, than always to burn
and rags with Devils, and always to dc'fpair of Releafe-
ment fto thefe ftrange Misfortunes do Atheifts and La-
titudinarians expo fe them felves, if there be a God ; and
ifChriJlian Religion be the only favi»^ Religion in the
World; and, for ought you know, both may be true.

"theo. You follow your Adverlaries with fo much
Pleat, that you wound your felfin thePurfuit; your ve-
ry Arguments deltroy your Hypothefis ; and whilft you
fuppofe there may be a God, you very learnedly demon-
Itrate there is none.

Eufeb. You have a mind to fport, but Jefts never im-
prove into Arguments, nor can Raillery grow up into
Reafon.

Theo. Sir, you miftake, I am not in ajeftingHumour :
Pray, if there be a God, is he not merciful?

Eufeb. He is.

theo. And if you fuppofe a God, and at the fame time
prove, that he is cmjuft, unmerciful, nay, tyrannical and
lavage ; do you not pull down with one Hand, what you
raife with the other ? Does not your Proof fly in the
Face of your Pofition ? You fay, if there be a God, I
fhall feel the Weight of his exafperated Anger for all Eter-
nity : I fhall glow in Pitch, and boil in Brimftone : What
is this but to clap the- moft exorbitant Tyranny on Mer-
cy it felf? To blend Cruelty with Meeknefs ? Barbarity
with Juftice ? To fink infinite Mercy into Cruelty ? And
to turn God into a Chimera ?

You may perchance fcare poor Children, or filly Wo-
men with your Quevedo's Vifions of HelU and fwell his
Fancies into divine Revelation ; but Men are not fo eafily
impos'd upon. I know, if there be a God, he is merciful ;
and that it is not Mercy's Office to butcher, but to par-
don : Befides, you confefs, that God is the Model of all
Perfedlion ; that our Virtue is but a dark Beam of his.
How then can he command us, as you fay he does, to re-
venge Affronts with Favours ? To lay down our Lives for
our Enemies; when he profecutes his with Racks and
Flames ? Either therefore there is no Hell, or no Mercy,
in God ; and then there will be no God : Take which
part of the Dilemma you pleafe ; I fliiU be pretty fecure
againll future Contingencies : So that you fee we Atheifts
and Libertines "walk on more even Ground than you ima-
gine. ' Eufebi

I'he Gentleman InJlruM. lyt

Eufeh. I mightTeturn your own Argument upon you ;
and fhew that you run his Mercy fo high, that you quite
difcardhis Juftice: But I will wave this Advantage, and
lingle out your Reafons, which rather amaze, than con-
vince. You fay God's Goodnefs hinders him from taking
any cognizance of Crimes in the next World ; there-
fore it is lawful to trample upon his Majefty, to controul
his Orders, and to fpurn at his Commands : He who fo
dotes on our Perfons, cannot revenge the Offences ;
therefore Blafphemy, Murders, Adulteries, and all
thofe Crimes that outrage Nature, and put even Atheifts
to the Blufli, are but indifferent Aifbions ; they have no
more harm than what flows from Vifion, Prejudice, and
Imagination ; for were they Crimes, they would deferve
Punifhment in the next World : Now Mercy ties God's
Hands, according to your new Syftem, and abfolves the
Criminal. Hence it follows, that feeing no Adf ion de-
ferves Punifhment, no Aftions are Crimes; and bycon-
fequence there is no Law, for every Crime is a Tranf-
grelTion of the Law. This is a comfortable Do6lrine for
Whores and Rogues, and you deferve a Penlion from
Goals and Baudy-houfes. Such Helps as thefe keep up
the Trade, inrich the Hangman, and break down all the
Barriers of Shame, to let into the World a Deluge of
Lewdnefs and Abominations. Thus whilfl you plead
for God's Mercy, you folicit for Vice, and turn Advo-
cate for Impiety.

I grant God is good and merciful ; and we need no
other Evidence to illuftrate this Truth, but that you
breathe and enjoy the common Blefling of Mankind :
Had not God rather foUow'd the mild Inclinations of his
Mercy, than the more fevere Laws of his Juftice, Pu-
nifhment had trod on the Heels of your Crimes ; he had
tore you from your Debaucheries, in flagranti^ and left
not a Moment between the Sin and your Damnation:
But, Sir, he has forgone his Right, and taken more mild
Methods ; he has bore your Infolence thefe many Years
with Patience, and call'd you to Repentance, when he
might have deliver'd you over to Punilliment : No, I am
told what bold Returns of Ingratitude you have made
for this exceflive Kindnefs : You have, more than once,
in the very Face of the Sun, to the Scandal not only of
Religion, but of Humanity, fpit iu the Face of this in-
finite

i^i ^he Gentle ^fAN InJIruifeJ.

£nite Mercy : You have burlefqued his Goodnefs, and
profanely deny'd he ever faw your Crimes, or hated 'em ;
becaule he did not revense them on the Spot, and put
an end to your Life and lilafphemies the fame JVloment:
Yet after all thefe flaming Attempts againft his Preroga-
tive, and Perlbn, you not only live, but receive continu-
al Favours from his Munificence j he experts only apee-
cavi to feal your Pardon, and to cancel your Offences;
but if you ^N''^\ ftand to your abominable Principles, and
droll upon his Menaces ; if you will pufh on Obftinacy
to the Grave, he v\'ill foften your hard Heart in Flames,
and teach you, by a difmal Experience, that he wants not
Mercy, but that you do not deferve to feel the Effeds
©f fo amiable an Attribute.

In fhort, God is good, becaufe he created fo vile 2
Creature as Man, to fo high a Fortune, becaufe when
our firft Parent Adam withdrew himfelf from Duty, and
engag'd his whole Pofterity in open Rebellion, he was
pleabM to aflbme our Nature, to expiate our Sins-with his
Elood, and to breathe into our Souls a new Life of Grace
by hisDeath ; bee ufe he fets a thoufand Wheels on work,
to draw b.Tck Sinners to Repentanccj and generally gives
them Time, and always Grace, to look into their irregu-
lar Conduft, and to deleft it: Thefe are undoubted
Marks of a moft folid Goodnefs ; and by this Square God
commands us to model our Behaviour towards our Ene-
mies, and he has laid before us fo complcat a Pattern, that
we fhall never be able to reach it.

But then God has regard to Juftice, even when he
feems to abandon him felt totally to the Condudl of Mer-
cy ; for thefe Perfections which ftand at the Helm of
Government are never at Variance ; their Advice is uni-
form, and bothconfpire to banifii Confufion, and to efta-
blifh Order ; for God's A'lercy is nothing elfe, but a fin-
cere Intention to procure a Creature good, fo far only
as Order will permit : Therefore, when a Creature has
difturb'd this Order, God's Mercy purfues the Crimi-
nal, he olfcrs him his Grace, and invites him a thoufand
times to re-eftabl fh by Repentance, the Order he had
broken by his Dilobedience: And then, if he will not
he;irken to thefe kind Exhortations, Juftice forces him
to re- fettle it by Torments ; for God, tho' he be Omni-
potent, cannot permit Diforder; He muft either deftroy

is

fhe G E N t L E :M A N Injfru^ed, :ly^

it in Time, by forgiving Sins, or in Eternity, by punifh-
ing them. In fine. Sir, Mercy governs in this World,
but its Commiflion extends not to the other ; ibere Ju-
ftice reigns alone, and either diftributes Rewards or in-
Aids Puniftiment. Much good therefore may your Di-
lemma do you : There is a God, arid He is merciful ;
there is a God, arid He is jufi. If that be a Pei-fedtion,
fo is this, nor are they incompatible : For tho' one Vice
may jarr with another, Virtues are of a more peaceable
Complexion, they live in Union, and can lodge in the
fame Breaft.

Theom. I don't deny, but that OfFenc.es againfb the
divine Majefty may deferve fome Punifliment ; and I
know that if there be a God, he has Power to chaftize
as well as to reward ; but an eternal Punifhment is very
lafting, and looks more like an Adl of Tyranny than
Juftice. I could allow well enough of a round Fit of
the Gout, or Stone ; or let God punifti my Crimes on
my Cattle with Murrains, Plagues and Mortality, I am
contented : But an eternal Torment for one efcape of
Nature, for one Sally of Paffion, can only proceed from
Excefs of Cruelty.

Eufeb. We fliould live Under a moft happy Govern-
ment, were all our Judges of your foft Difpofition ; what
merry Days fhould we enjoy if Murtherers were only pil-
lory'd ? Sodomites whipt? And Tray tors confin'd to their
Lodgings ? Such fevere Laws, would no doubt difarm
Vice, difcourage Villany, and put all Roguery out of
Countenance. But, Sir, tell me, would not fuch over-
llrain'd Mercy let loofe the whole Kennel of Abominati-
ons ? Would it not cut off all the Lines of Communica-
tion between Man and Man, and turn all into a Heap of
Gonfulion ? Would not you judge thofe more guilty who
made fuch Laws, than thofe who broke 'em ? I am fure
you would call out for fo'me Grains of Severity, and ap-
ply a more violent Remedy to cure the agonizing Go-
vernment. Yet you are in an ill Humour, becaufe God
does not fteer his Condu6l by thofe condefcending Me-
thods you condemn ; and if he did, you would as cer-
tainly arraign his Mercy, as now you impeach his Ju-
ftice. In a Word, Theomachus, as I told you above,
there is an infinite Diftance between God and Man;
Xherefore the Malice of every Sin is as Divines hold, in

'V f©roe

274 T^'^Gen^tlem AN InJlruBed,

fome Sort infinite ; therefore it deferves a Punilhment, in
fome Sort infinite. Butit can be only infinite in Dura-
tion ; therefore every mortal Sin deferves an eternal Pu-
nilhment. How then dare you fallen on God Cruelty
and Barbarifm, when he only proportions the Pain to the
O.fence. Sir, take my Advice: 'Tis more fecure for
you to repent, than to complain ; 'tis Madnefs to play
with the fupream Being, Ingratitude to treat ill the beft
of Friends, Frenzy to provoke the ftrongeft Enemy.

Theom, Iflcnrry God's Mercy too high, you (Iretch
his Juftice beyond all Proportion. What Equality cm.
you difcover between a momentary Offence, and a never-
ending Pain ? Between a Malice that has fome Bounds,
and a Punifhment that has none ? Methinks, at leaft an
Age of Torments may expiate a Day of unlawful Plea-
fure: But to rack and torture a fhort-liv'd Frailty, eter-
nally, is to flrain Juftice to the very pitch of Cruelty.

Eufeb. No doubt, Juftice always proportions the Pu-
nifliment to the Offence; but then, this Proportion can-
not confift in an equal Duration of the Crime, and the
Pain. I have known a Perjury that pafs'd through a

D 's Teeth in a Moment, pillory'd a whole Hour:

And I have feen the guilty Patient run the Gantlet from
Newgate Xo'Tyhurn. Yet tho* the Punifhment was of a
longer Continuance, than the Oath; whocomplain'd of
Cruelty, but thofe very Rafcals that deferv'd the Cor-
redlion ? Does not Juftice fometimes take Criminals by
the Ears? And make the Guilty compound for their
Tranfgreflions,with the Lofs of thofe innocent Members,
which lelJom return to their Owners, Felons, Muriher-
• ers and Traytors by ihe Law of Nations fuffer Death,
that is a Punifhment in Ibme kind eternal : And if the
Soul be mortal, as the Atheifts contend, abfolutely fo ;
because it forces the Crimipals into a State of Nothing,
in which they muft eternally remain. The Vote of
Mankind runs therefore againlt your Notion of Equity ;
and the Aiheift's Idea of Juftice is no more defenfible,
than his Pradlice. Nay, Sir, if any Crime againft a
Prince or the Commonwealth can juftly deferve Death,
one againft God as juftly deferves Hell eternally.

For as on the one Side the Grandeur, Majefty, and
Perfedlions of God furpafs infinitely thole of the greateft
and rnoft abfolute Monarch that ever breath'd : So on

the

lloe Gentleman Injlru^led, 275

the other, our Obligation to obey, refpeft and love this
auguft Mafter, rifes with his Greatnefs. Therefore an
Offence againft God, exceeds that againft a Prince, at
leaft terminative in the fame Proportion that the Perfedli-
ons of the one excel the Bafenefs of the other. There-
fore as there can be no Comparifon between the Offen-
ces, there muft be none between the Punifhments. Now
let the Punifnment of a Crime againft God be never lo
great, if it be not eternal, there muft of neceffity be fome
Proportion between it and Death, the juft Punifhment
of a Treafon againft the Perfon of a temporal Prince :
Therefore no Punifliment can equal an Offence againft
God unlefs it be eternal.

Theo. You fuppofe when we recreate Nature we ere6t
a high Court oj Jujitce, and commiffion the Judge to ar-
raign him ; this is a Theological Speculation. No, no,
we are fo far from queftioning his Authority, or impeach-
ing his Mnjefty, that we do not even think of him in
our Debauchees; we intend not to difpleafe him, but to
pleafe our Appetites, to regale our Senfes, and enjoy the
Creature.

Eufeb. This is an excellent Plea for Thieves and Mur-
derers ; and, would it hold, the Government might {hut
up Newgate^zwA pull down the Gallows; for few High-
waymen think of her Majefty, or her Laws, while they
murder and take Purfes on the Road. Let us fuppoie
one of thoie Gentlemen on the Ladder, haranguing thus
the Spectators. Good People ! I am brought to an un-
timely, and, v/hat is woife, to a moft fhameful End,
againft all the Laws of Juftice. I was brought to the Bar
for affronting her Majefty: The Jury has found me
guilty ; and the Judge condemn'd me. Now I proteft,
1 never harbour'd an unbcfeeming Thought of her Ma-
jefty. I have ferv'd my Sovereign at the Expence of my
Blood ; and was alw ays ready to maintain her juft Rights
and Prerogatives with my Life and Fortune. I follow'd
my A4after to StecKkerk, and Norvjinde^ and loft fome
Tlefli, and my Money in his Service: At my return, I
was put to my Shifts, and could meet with no Relief,
but on the Highway : Here I providentially fell upon a
prefent Suj ply, I truft up a Brace of Lawyers, and ca-
fed a folitary Parfon ; but in all my Expeditions, I ne-
ver dreamtof her Majefty r How- then could i affront or

T z offend

27<^ . ^he Gentle ma n Inflru^ed.

offend her? What Relation is there between the Princefif
and the Subjed, that an Injury offer'd one, muft re-
bound on the other? What think you? Would this loyal
Speech reverfe the Sentence ?

Theom. No: I think Mr. Sheriff would bid Jack-ketch
do his Office.

Eufeb. I am of your Opinion : But then has not this
Knight of the Queen's Highway an Atheift's Plea ? He
cries not gui/fy, good People! Becaufe in the adual Tranf-
greffion of the Queen's Laws, he never thought of her
Majefty ; and you plead for Impunity ; becaufe, whilft
you outrag'd Nature, you never dreamt of God. Sir,
God is abfolute Monarch of the Univerfe : He owes his
Title to Sovereignty, neither to Birth, nor Election:
His Right is founded in his boundlefs Perfeflions. Thofe
Laws of Nature you tranfgrefs without Scruple, or Re-
morfe, are of his making, and to controul his Orders,
is to affront his Perfon ; fo that though Sinners do not
queftion his Authority, at leaft they defpife it : Now for
a vile Worm to contend with, and dare fo great, fo aw-
ful a Majefty, is to overfhoot Infolence it felf.

TheoYh. Well ; God's Juftice, together with Devils,
Flames, Darknefs, and Defpair, would difcompofe me,
cou'd I perfuade my felf, my Soul wou'd revive my Bo-
dy ; but alas, we enter into the World like Beafts, and
make as inglorious an Exit ; our Bodies fall into Duft,
and our Souls into Nothing: Twenty Years hence I fhall
be, what I was a thoufand Years ago, a meer non ens^
uncapable either of Pain or Pleafure.

Eufeh. This Evafion chil's my Blood. 'What can't
you defend your Caufe without drawing upon Na-
ture ? Nor prove you are no Fool, without confeffing
your felf a Beaft ? I could eafily force you from this Re-
trenchment, by demonftrating the Immortality of the
Soul ; but I leave this Enterprize to a more convenient
Seafon. In the mean time, I only defire to know whe-
ther you are fure, the Soul ends with the laft Breath j
without certainty, you are juft where you was, expos'd
to that miferable State, that refpeds Atheifts, if there
be a God. Tell me then, are you fure Mens Souls are
mortal?

T'heom. When I compare the Operations of Beafts with
thofe of Men, methinks we ftand on the fame Level,

yet

The Gentleman Injiru^ed, lyj

yet a Voice within tells me I am of a more noble Ex-
tradion ; and this foft Whifper pefters my Brain with
Doubts, and my Heart with Fears.

Eufeb. Perchance therefore your- Soul is immortal :
Perchance there is a God, a Hell, and a Heaven: Per-
chance Chriftianity is the only faving Religion in the
World. Now if thefe Things are real, (and for ought
you know they are) what will become of Atheifts, and
Latitudinarians? How nicely will they have manag'd
their Affairs, when they fee themfelves Itript of all Title
to Heaven, and find an eternal Habitation prepared in
Hell ? You fee what Hazard you run ; and therefore I
muft conclude your Conduft is toolifh, and mad to
Frenzy; unlefs you can make good to Evidence, that if
■your Opinions prove true, you Ihall enjoy jome Good^
that counterpoifes the eternal Lofsfof Heaven, nay, and
the exorbitant Tortures of Hell \ for torifque the Mam
without good Warrant and Caution, is Rafhnefs, and
even Fury beyond Extravagance. I have laid open the
juft Suhjeft of your Fears ; favour me with a full Pro-
fpe6l of your Hopes.

DIALOGUE VI.

Tbe Advantage Atheifts and Latitudinarians can expeii
//there be no God ; a)7d if M Religions ate laving, is
not comparable to the Dijadvantage they fear^ if there
be a God ; and if one Religion alone be iaving.

TT'^ow. C I R, you have allign'd mean eafy Task, and
*^ I undertake it with Pleafure ; you have
drawn up a frightful Bill of our LolTes, [^ there be a God,
and \i one Religion only be faving: I will balance it with
another of our Gain, if we are in the Right ; and then
you'll confefs our Affairs are in a better Pofture than you
imagine, and perchance than you wifh : If we venture
much, we hope for more ; the Harveft balances our
Labour and Expence : I know not through what Pro-
ipedlive you view the Pleafures of Life, methinks they
prefent us a fine Profpedl i and in fpight of the molt fevere

T 3 Phi»

2.y^ The Gentleman Jnfru5fed,

Philofophy,dart forth too melting Charms to be contemp-
tible. No doubt Life is a great Blefling, 'tis above Pur-
chafe, and cannot be over-rated ; but then Pleafure alone
raifes its Value: Diveft it of ple^fing Senfations, and
'tv/ill become a Burthen. Were I fure never to be pleas'd,
I fhould unwifh my felf, and bribe fome Bravo to dif-
patch me; I fhould fall out with my Exijlence^ and long
-to return to my quondam Kotking. How valuable then
is Pleafure, that can fet fo vaft a Price on fo mean a
Thing ; and give it the firft Place in our Wifhes, that
would take up the laft in our Dehres ? I know ill-natur'd
Philofophers, and vilionary Divines, have employ'd their
'Rhetorick to run down Pleafure, and to talk it oui of
Countenance. They have libcU'd it thefe thoufand Years,
and attack'd it with Auxiliaries drawn from Doggerel and
Invedtive ; yet it ftands its Grouud, and maintains its
Poll with Reputation. Time, that lays open the Defedls
of ether Things, has, it feems, dilcover'd fome Perfedi-
pns in Pleafure, for it is now courted more than ever ;
and this i&\x Helei has more Galnnrs than that oi Greece:
It grows not cheap under Trial, but rifes under Ufe, and
Experiment; it neither gluts, nor furfeits ; its Btauty
is always in the Flower, and out of the Reach of Age.
Cities have chang'd Places, Empires have funk under the
Weight of their own Greatnefs, new Culloms have
worn out the Memory of the old ; but the delire of
Ple.iiure has never vary'J: This runs in all our Veins:
We took it from our FiUl-.ers, and bequeath it to our
Children ; 'tis the prime End of Nature, and almofl the
fole Objedt of Inclination. Now it feems ftrange that
all Men fhould dote of Deformitv, and run into the
Embracernents of Nothing ; that they fhould prize above
all Things, what ;s below Price ; and fo turn Fools or
Madmen for Company. You v.ill perchance tell me,
that I am miftaken in my Calculation, and marflial up a
Brigade of Anchorites to confute my Arithmetick. Thefe
Men, you'll fay, made War upon Pleafure : They fafted
and difciplin'd themfelves into a Loathing of it ; and
fometimes mur'd up a Senfe to fortify the Avenues a-
gainft fo vile and fo treacherous an Enemy. Thefe Men
therefore, who thus perfecuted Pleafure, were neither
fond" of its Charms, nor well convinc'd of its Excellence.

But,

The Gentleman In/iru^ed. 1 7^

But, according to the Proverb, One Svjallovj makes
not a Summer ; your rare Example of Abftincnce and
Mortification cannot weaken my univerfal Induction ;
They leave it in its entire Force, nay, they ftrengthen
it ; for you gaze on fuch Men as Miracles, and propofe
them to the World, rather to be admir'd than imitated :
Nay, they purfu'd Pleafure whilft they renounc'd it; and
fo only (hov'd it away with one Hand, and drew it to
them with the other : For as there is oftentimes a fecret
Pride even in Humility, fo there is a Fleaaire in Self-de-
nial ; and all that you can prove by thefe Examples is,
that Mens Palates have different Contextures ; and what
tickles gently fome, grates upon others: In a Word, to
queftion the Goodnefs of Pleafure, is to deny Experi-
ment, and contradi6l Demonftration.

Thus, Sir, you fee if Atheifts hazard fomething, they
hope for more: Pleafure, Satisfadion, and a moft hap-
py Life, balance all thofe Miferies which may befal us
after Death. For my part, I cannot think, that the fond-
eft Imagination can over-flourifli, or even paint to the
Life, the Happinefs of thofe who never check Nature,
but give her the Reins, and follow blindly her DireAi-
ons. They can regale Ambition, feaft Revenge, and
treat Senfuality with Splendour :. Thefe odd Notions of
Good and Evil, fume into the Head, they raife Damps
on the Confcience, and dafh Delights with Gall and
Wormwood. If we muft pen up our Appetites, and
confine 'em to Limits, adieu Content. For in Reality,
we properly enjoy Nothing, when werefufe our Paffions
nny Thing. But when we follow the Bent of Nature,
and fwim down the Current of Inclination, 'tis then we
poilefs a Bills equal to your fo much talk'd of Heaven:
But with this only Difference, that it wants Immortali-
ty. Now £a/>^/«j-, where is your Folly ? If our Opini-
ons are falfe, 'tis fure we fhall be undone hereafter : But
then, if they prove true ; our Happinefs will be greater
than our Mifery can be, tho' they prove falfe: For if we
lide with the Belief of a God, and of Chriftian Religi-
on, and live up to the Rigour of thofe Beliefs, we difcard
cur felves of all the Pleafures of Life, nay, and turn it in-
to a Torture. Now Miferies in the Hand, pinch more
than Miferies in ReverJion,

T 4 Eudox.

;:8o 7he Gentleman Itiflru^eS.

Eudox .Theomachus, yoM have forgot the toppingBranch
of our Privilege : If vjq believe a God, and the Mylle-^
ries of Chriftianity, we mull enflave Reafon, and regu-
late our Opinions by the Rules of Revelation : We muft
both Ihackle and hoodwink our Underftanding, and
llretch 'em on the Rack, to force 'em to deny firft Prin-
ciples. But when we ad by our A^axims, we breathe a
more open and free Air : We can tofs our Aflent from
one fide of the Contradiftlon to the other : And believe
to Day what we fhall disbelieve to Morrow. Now this
intelledual Freedom is of a finer Nature, than any Plea-
fure of the Senfe ; 'tis an Appendix of Beatitude, and
a Prerogative of the Deity. Add this, Eufehius, to what
Theomachtii has already produc'd, and you will have lit-
tle Reafon to lay at our Door Folly and Rafhnefs.

Eufeb. I cannot well determine, Theomachus^ whether
your Speech deferves an Anfwer, or Indignation: Such
daring Impieties furprife me. The Pradlice of Lewdnefs
and Senfuality is both ftiameful and fcandalous : But to
turn Advocate for Brutality, to canonize Debaucheries,
and idolize Murders, Thefts and Adulteries, is to throw
down the Inclofures that feparate Men from Beafts,
to clap Reafon in the Dungeon, and Senfe on the
Throne. ^

Had Bulls, Boars and Goats the Power to harangue
in our Days, as in thofe of JEfop^ they would have dif-
play'd their Rhetorickon the f^me Subjedl ; but, I doubt
whether they would have fcrew'd it up to your Fitch of
Excellency. No,no ; they would not have had Wit enough
to crowd io many Follies, Blafphemies and Impieties in
fo fmall a Compafs ; nor Impudence to flourifli on Lewd-
nefs in the Prefence of Men.

So long as we keep within the Bounds of Moderati-
on and Law, Pleafure may be tolerated ; yet let unlaw-
ful Defires appear never fo charming, they are certainly
contemptible, becaufe unwarrantable; and he who buys
a Satisfaction, tho' never fo glittering, at the Expence
of Duty? is fure to over-purchafe : The outward Appea-
rance of Things cannot be the true Standard of their
Value. Tinfel glitters no lefs than Gold, and a falfe
Guinea often fliines more than a true one. We mufc
wafli off the Fucus^ before we can frame a right Judg-
mentjordiftinguifli Sterling from counterfeit Coin. Plea-

fures

The Gentleman InJlruBeL i% i

fures afFe6t the Organ well enough, but then they grate
Aipon Reafon ; they always give us a troublefome Fare-
well, and make room for Repentance. I am confident.
Sir, that the Ghofts of your paft Delights have fome-
times diforder'd you, more than the living Pleafures di-
verted you, and you have wifh'd undone in a Calm, what
.you did in a violent Tranfport of PafTion.

A Man, as you fay, who was fure never to be pleas'd,
would have no great Reafon to be over-fond of his Be-
ing. For Pain and Suffering without any Relation to
another World are very troublefome Advantages ; but
then, who can be pleas'd when nothing but Riot and
Luxury deferves no Exiftence ? He is a Shame to Na-
ture, and a perfect Scandal to his kind.

You would fain draw a Proof for the Excellence of
Pleafure from the Multitude of its Abettors : But you
do not confider, that you have chofen an untoward Me-
dium ; for Judgments are not to be fram'd by Pradtice,
but Reafon. The Generality, you know, ftick in the
Surface of Things, and are ten Times more bigotted
with Appearance than Reality. Ask the high-flown De-
bauchees, and they will confefs their Judgments jarr with
their Conduit ; they even condemn Wickednefs, whilft
they purfue it.

But Pleafure never gluts ^ never furfeits . Why thep
are you always on the Change ? Why do you feaft your
Paflions with new Ragoufts, but to whet your Appetite
with Variety, and to entertain it with frefh Appea-
rances ?

To fay we are as eager in the Purfuit of Pleafure as
our Forefathers were, proves only we carry about us the
fame Corruption ; that our Nature bends to ill, as theirs
, did ; and that we are all Children of the fame rebellious
Parent. Their Judgments varied from their Practice,
and fodo ours. They fought out Vaults to fhade their
Impieties, and buried their Abominations in Darknefs
and Privacy : And this is a fhrewd Argument, that they
did not efteem much thofe Things they blufh'd at.

Believe it, Sir, I am able to bring<nore than Divines and

Anchorets^ who have lafh'd unlawful Pleafures, and bur-

kfqu'd 'em. I could produce fome of your own Tribe

^3nd Difcipline, who^deferve Credit, becaufe they Ipeak

upon Experience. l' took a Turn the other Day to the

Ki»g's

aSa The Gentleman InJlriSed.

King's Beach to vifit a Friend j I found him in the Com-
pany of fome other Gentlemen, who had taken up their
Lodgings in that melcUicholy Retirement. Difcontent fat
on their Faces; every Pofture mark'd Impatience, and
every Word both Repentance and Defpair : They had
out-hv'd their Eftates, and (what was worfe) all hopes
of regaining 'em : I pity'd their Misfortune ; but when
I underftood they had raffled 'em for If'^we^ and barter'd
'em for Mtjfes, my Pity turn'd almoft into Indignation :
I thought with my felf they deferv*d no Eitate, who
knew fo ill to manage one; but at leaft, faid I with a
Smile, you have had Pleafures for your Money ; and
you feel even novv this Satisfaction, that once you were
happy. Quite contrary, faid they, our former Felicity
prefles harder upon us than our prefent Mifcry : And then
they run out into fuch Invedives againft criminal Plea-
fure, and rated Debauchery, with fuch a Pathos and
Energy, that I eafily faw they fpoke from the Heart, and
declaim'd in earnell.

I believe thofe Gentlemen who lie under the Surgeon's
Hands, who are ty'd up to Faftingand Mercury^ and
drivil out in a Stove the Relicks of your incomparable
Pleafures, are much of the Coap'd-up Squite's Mind.
For tho' the Vintners and Harlots have not invaded their
Purfes, nor Luxury like a Whirl-pool fwallow'd their
Lands, yet Difeafes have over-fet Health, and almoft
funk their Bodies into the Grave. But I have follow'd
you too for, 'tis time to leave you ; only I will add,
that I cannot efteem that Great, which makes me Lefs,
and tumbles me below my Level. Reafon is a Preroga-
tive, no Nuifance; and I am not difpos'd to mortgage
it for a M'fs^ or Claret.

For all your boafting, I fear Athclfm cannot fupprefs
thofe odd Notions of Good and Evil ; they alarm your
Fears, awake your Confcience, and fprinkle your De-
lights with the unpalatable ingredient of I'itch and Sul-
phur; but if they do not, it only follows that yourUn-
derftanding is drown'd in Senfuality, that your Wit is
funk into Frenzy, aud that you are ftark mad with your
Mahometical H.tppinefs.

I confefs, EudoxHs^ that thePleafure of the Mind has
fome Value; it appears better fliap'd than that of ilenfe;^
it fhines brighter \ it's longer liv'd j and befides has no-
thing

T'he Gentleman InJlruBed, 283

thing of Miftinefs, or Brutality : But then 1 cannot con-
ceive, why this Satisfadion mull be folely ingrofs'd by
Atheifts and Latitudinarians : You fay we muftenflave
our Underftanding when we embrace Chriftianity, and
regulate our Judgments by divine Revelation : But, pray,
is this fuch an Outrage to Reafon ? Does not God know
perfedtly all Things ?

Eudox. He does.

Enfeb. Does not his Revelation agree with his Know-
ledge ?

Eudox. It does ; for certainly he cannot tell a Lye.

Eufeb. Now ; God never commands us to believe any
Myftery, unlefs it be evidently credible he has reVeal'd
it 5 from whence it follows, that Chriftians are fo far
from hoodwinking, or forcing Reafon, that Men cannot
adl more rationally ; for thus they proceed. Whatever
God reveals is true : But God has revealed the Myftery of
the Trinity : Therefore it is true. The firft Propofition
is evident : The fecond is evidently credible : For till the
Revelation appear evidently credible, no Chriftian lies ■
under any Obligation of believing; and when it comes
up to fuch an Evidence, no Man can disbelieve it, with-s,
out Imprudence. 'Tis true, the A4yftery remains in
Darknefs and Obfcurity ; tho* I believe thatGod is 6>»^,
and Three., yet I am ignorant of the Manner ; nor am I
oblig'd to know it: God has left that as a Subject of
Difpute, to exercife our Wits, not our Faith.

Gentlemen, you fee when Accounts are adjufhed, you
are not fo much before-hand with the World, as you ima-
gined ; but to favour you more than I am oblig'd ; let it
be granted, that Pleafures are ten times more valuable
than you pretend ; at lead they cannot out-laft Time,
they move towards their Period, and can accompany
you no farther than the Grave ; when once you have Iain
on that cold Bed, Pleafures take Wing, and difappear ;
your Body is made over to the Worms, and (if there be
a God) your Soul will be deliver'd into the Hands of un-
merciful Devils. Sir, tell me, would you accept of the
Empire of the Univerfe, together with all the beaftial
Paftimes of Sardanapalus^ or Helio^abalus^ if you were
fure afterwards to be ftretch'd on Racks, to live on Stench,
and to be regal'd with Toads and Vipers for the Space of
twenty Years ?

Theo.

284 'the Gentleman hiftru^ied,

'Theo. No furely.

Eufeb. Yet every Atheift, or Latitudinarian, cannot
hope for Crowns or Scepters; they cannot gratify their
Senfuality with fo high-feafon'd Lewdnefs, as thoie two
wretched Princes ; notwithftanding (if there be a God)
they mull buy their minute Satisfaction, neither with
Tortures, nor Toads, nor theTormentsof twenty Years,
but of Eternity : If therefore you will not purchale a tem-
poral Enjoyment with a temporal Punifhment; why will
you buy a temporal and fleeting Satisfadlion, with a Pu-
nifliment that is eternal ?

Theo. Pain is a very lively Perception, it flafhes upon
the Organ with a vaft Impetuofity, and puts our whole
Machine in Diforder ; 'tis ftronger than Pleafure, and
keeps it at a Diftance, when we have it not, and turns
it away when we have it : Hence I would not take twen-
ty Years of Satisfa6lion, with a fure Reverfion of twenty
Years of Pain ; for this will certainly more afRidt Na-
ture, than that can pleafe it : But the Pains of Hell and
Pleafures of Heaven are wholly uncertain, and thefe of
Atheifts aflur'd ; fo that tho' thofe Pains, compar'd pre-
cifely with the Pleafures, are infinitely greater ; yet if
you confider thofe in a State of Uncertainty, and thefe
in a State of Certainty, we mud give thefe the Prece-
dence ; and this is conformable to that capital Maxim ;
Keep what is certain, and leave what is uncertain. Give
me leave to frame this fhort Syllogifm: '77j Imprudence
to part with what is certain^ for what is uncertain ; bzit
the Pleafures of Heaven and Pains of Hell are uncertain ;
and thofe of this IVorld are certain ; therefore "'tis Impru-
dence to quit the Pleafures of this Life out of Fear of jai-
ling into Hell, or out of Hope oj flying into Heaven.

Eufeb. The Force of your Difcourfe is wound up in
your Maxim, and the Syllogifm is but a meer Dedutli-
on ; fo that if your Foundation be weak, the Superftruc-
ture falls to the Ground : Now, Sir, 1 mult tell you,
your grand Principle is not univerfally true, and by Con-
ifequence unfit for the Polt you have put it in ; unlefs it
be ftrain'd, and us'd with Difcretion, it proves nothing
but Sophiltry.

For, does not the Husbandman cultivate and manure
Jiis Ground at the certain Expence of both his Eafe and
Money? Yet his Gain is as uncertain as the Winds and

Seafons,

fhe Gentleman Injlru0e3, 2S5

Seafons. Another takes up at the Temple j he finks his
Purfe, and beats his Brain with plodding over Cook and
Littleton ; he pores Night and Day upon the Code, and
confounds himfelf with the Inflltntions and ¥andeds^^.x\A
hopes to beat a Fortune out of his Labour andExpences;
yet tho' he certainly lays out his Money, and facrifices
his Repofe, he is not certain to reach his Pretenfions ;
his Expe6tation may be baulk'd, and after twenty Years,
he may be no farther advanc'd in the World, than he was
the firft Day he fet out.

Our Merchants put to Sea with a good Cargo ;, they pur-
fue Profit into the Indies ; the Danger of their Perfons
is certain, they expofe their Commodities to all the Ca-
fualities of Wind and Weather, that lay before very fafe
in Magazines ; the Gain is ill afllir'd : Do not then thefe
Men confute your Maxims by Pra6lice ? And who ever
indidled them of Imprudence, or tax'd 'em of Folly ?

In fine. Sir, the whole Commerce of Liferouls upon
this Principle j that oftentimes 'tis the part of a prudent
Man to quit what is certain, for what is uncertain ; and
were it otherwife, there would be fo little Bufinefs in
the World, that Mankind might fit crofs arm'd, or fall
together by the Ears to avoid Idlenefs: Mens Under-
ftandings would grow dov/nward, their Courage would
flirink up; Induftry would turn off in Lethargy, and
the whole World would fall back into its primitive Ig-
norance.

Theo. I know the Principle comprehends a Latitude,
and is not true without Refl;ri6lion.

Eufeh. A little Patience if you pleafej when I have
convided it of Error, you fhall have time to argue, why
Sentence fliould not pafs upon it. When the Good we
hope is equal, or inconfiderably greater, than what we
hazard; it would be a piece of the higheft Extravagance,
to expofe what we pofiefs in Peace and Quiet, for that
Avhich is only equal, or inconfiderably greater, and withal
very uncertain: If by theLofs of the certain we chance
to procure the uncertain, we are but juft where we were ;
but if we fail in our Purfuit, wefliall not only fall fhort
of what we hop'd for, but even of what we poflefied :
In this Cafe your Axiom may be allow'd of, but then
it fupports not your Caufe ; for there is no Proportion
between the moft lufcious Pleafures of Life, which you

fup-

0,^6 .^he Gi^-i^TL-EUXti InftruBed.

fuppofe certain, and thofe of Heaven you fuppofe un-
certain ; for thofe are built on the tottering Foundation
of Time, and in fpite of Care, within the Space of fome
Years, muft touch their fatal Period, and flafh into No-
thing, whereas thefe are infinitely better qualified, they
Hand on a ftable Bottom, they never wither, never die :
So that tho' we confider the Joys of Heaven in a State
of Uncertainty, and thofe of Time in a State of Cer-
tainty, thofe muft prevail ; becaufe the exorbitant Great-
nefs of the Divine Joys of Heaven, accompanied with
an eternal juration, are more advantageous than all the
trifling Satisfadlions of Senfe, tho' ftampt with the charm-
ing Attraftives of Certainty and Pofleffion.

For would any Man, who had one Grain of Prudence,
accufemeof Folly or Rafhnels, if I fhould venture a
Penny upon a well-grounded Prefumption of gaining a
Million? Would not you and all the Merchants in the
Nation fhare in the Venture ? Yet in this Cafe we fhould
quit the certain for the uncertain. Now, // there be a
God, if the Chriflian Religion be the only faving Com-
winnion in the IVorU, and you live up to the Pfecepts of
Reaion and the Gofpel ; after this Life you will enter upon
the Pofleffion of a Blifs that furpafles all the brutifli
and fond Enjoyments of Senfe, more than a Million ex-
ceeds a Penny ; for between thefe two Sums there is
fome Proportion, but all the Geometricians in Europe
can never find a Medium Proportionate between what is
temporal and eternal.

Indeed, if you fhould fquare your Condu6l by the
fevere Rules of Chriftian Morality, and afterwards find
no God to recompenfe your Virtue ; or that you might
have purchas'd an equal Glory, following the more c®n-
defcending Precepts of other Religions, you would be at
fome Lofs -, i. e. you would have dcbarr'd your felf of
fome lewd Senfations to little Purpofe ; but this Difap-
pointment cannot be put in the Scale, againft thofe vaft
Treafures you might pretend to, if there were a God,
and if only one Religion were faving : If therefore, he
who fhould refufe to hazard a Penny on a moft prudent
Expectation of gaining a Million, wouM'in the Opinion
of all Mankind commit a Folly almoft too extravagant
for Bedlam it felf; why fhall we fear to brand Atheifts
and Latitudinarians with Frenzy and Madnefs, who pre-
fer

'the Gentleman InJiruBed, 287

fer a paultry Content before a Pleafure that is eternal?
Yoiir<yrand Principle, leave not the certain for the uncer~
tain, cannot relieve you, becaufe it has no place in the
prefent Difpute ; for there is no Proportion between the
Happinefs of the other World, which you fuppofe uncer-
tain, and the Pleafure of this, you fuppofe certain ; for
no Arithmetick is able to multiply Moments into Eter-
nity. Now I anfwer your Syllogifm.

^Tis Imprudence to part with what is certain, for what
is uncertain ; but the Pleafures of Heaven are uncertain^
and thofe of Life are certain ; therefore ^tis Imprudence
to quit the Pleafures of t hit Life for thofe of Heaven.

1 diftinguifli the firft Propofition ; 'Tis Imprudence to
part with what is certain^ for what is uncertain : If what
is uncertain be co»Jider<ibly greater than what is certain^
I deny iu If it be only equal^ or incunjiderably greater^
I grant ft : I tranfmitthe fecond Propofition, and deny
the Confequence : Pray take Notice I do not grant the
fecond Propofition ; for the firft part is only true in our
preient„Suppofition, and the fecond is abfolutely falfe;
for thofe Pleafures you fo much talk of, are as uncertain
as any thing can be ; fo that tho' your famous Axiom
were never fo true, 'tis impertinent to the prefent Dif-
pute ; feeing your Gain is as doubtful as your Lofs.

Theom. What, will you maintain our Pleafures are un-
certain ? If you can make that out, I confefs Affairs are
in a worfe Pofture than I fancy'd.

Eufeb. I will maintain it, and demonftrate it too.
Your Pleafure, Sir, confifts in the Satisfaction of Senfe ;
now all fuch Satisfadion is very expenfive : Burgundy
and Champaigne Wines grow not at London^ they mull
pafs the Seas; and before they are fit for an Athieft's
Palate, the Price runs high: You muftgive the Vintner
leave to rate them at Pleafure, and thank him for his Fla-
vour, if he gives you a Botile for an Angel. Ragoufts are
as coftly ; Cooks will not toil for 'em, unlefs they be
well paid ; they value their Sweat as high as the Vintner
does his Champaigne; and you can rely no more on the
Confcienceof the one, than of the other; for rteither is
ftrait-lac'd, and you muft ftand to their Mercy: If you
cail up your Accounts, you will find the Taverns and
Treating-Houft'S have eas'd you of a round Income.
J*/ (//^x are farm'd at a higher Rate ; like the Monfter Behe-

met.

uSS ihe Gentleman InJlruBed,

met, they drink whole Rivers ; they fwallow Mines and
devour Lordfhips : You may rig out a firft Rate Ship,
at lefs Expence than a Lady of Pleafure : She muft ap-
pear at //v<^^-P<?r^ with a ghttering Equipage, andfhroud
the Scandal of her Life under a Veil of Embroidery :
And what is worfe, {he prefently falls to decay, and then
the Bills of Reparation fwell higher than thofe of the very
Building : Now if you let her lie out of Repair, you
either tempt her Fidelity, or her ill Nature, and then
your Heaven may chance to fink into Hell ; for if you
refolve with Eagernefs a Relief, you fend her a Blank,
and encourage her Ladyjhip to draw up Conditions at
Pleafure, and to rife upon you at the Difcretion of A-
varice. You fee thefe Pleafures are expenfive, and re-
quire a good Fund : Now, Sir, are all Atheifts fure of
good Eftates ? Have they found out the Philofopher's
Stone ; or have they MUas^s Faculty, of turning what-
ever they touch into Gold ? I cannot think that Maa-
mrs follow Religion, or that a beggarly Chriflian can
ftart up a moneyed Atheiji : Pleafures therefore are not
over fure to every Atheiftical Profelyte^ unlefs you only
admit Z/or^j and Gemlemen xnio your Communion, and
fo compofe your Church as the Vcneti^m do Xht'ix Grand
Senate of Nobles ; but even in this cafe, your happy
Life wants good Security : Eftates, like Eels, often give
us the flip, and I have known fome who began the
World with three thoufand Pounds per Annum, end in
^n Hofpital : Some forfeit their Fund for Loyalty, others
for Rebellion ; fome drink it away, others Dice it -, fome
wear it out by husbanding it too v,"el!, and others by
managing it too ill : The very Foundation therefore of
your Pleafures being fo precarious, and uncertain, the
Pleafures themfelves can't be aflur'd.

Secondly, Without Health the moftexquifite Pleafures
are dull and infipid ; they rather importune than pleafe,
and put our Patience to the Trial, rather than divert
our Senfes j the Harmony of a Lute, tho' touch'd by
an Orpheus, will grate the Ear, if the Head be out of
Tune ; and a difcompos'd Stomach receives the moft de-
licious Ragoufts with Reludtancy and Convulfions : A
Fit of the Cholick makes a Crown uneafy, and turns all
the Charms of Empire into Diflatisfadion. Now our
Body is a Compound of Contraries, each Part clafhes

with

^2 Gentleman Inftru^ed, 28^

M'ith its Fellow, and like the Midianites, draws upon its
next Companion^ Heat plays upon Cold; Dry nefs up-
on Humility : Whilft Vidory is at a Hand, our Pulfe
beats even ; but when it leans to one Side, 'tis Time to
call for a Doctor: Befides, thefe Hoftilities are adted out
of Sight; or, \\k.t Miners, skirmifli under Ground j and
fo we cannot fend Relief to balance the Advantage v^^hich
one may gain over the other: In fine, Sir, Health confifts
in an equ.;l Temper of capricious Humours ; in a good
Intelligence of a thoufand Veins and Arteries; and what
can be more uncertain? I never meditate on the Framo
and Mechanifm of Bodies, but I am rapt into Extafies
of Admiration, and wonder more we are one Day in
Health, than that we ihould continually groan under
the Pangs of the moll acute Difeafes: And if all Men's
Health is uncertain, the Atheift's is much more ; for
their exceffive Irregularities both haften Infirmities, and
inflame them ; Debauchery revenges its own Excelles
upon our Bodies, and plunges them into a State of Lan-
gour and Weaknefs: Health muft jade, it cannot hold
out, if we live too faft, and are continually upon the
Gallop: Artd thus you make vihxt is uncertain, more
uncertain; if you do not manage your Conftitution, but
proftitute it, you throw it away before you have done li-
ving, nay, when it is moft uleful to your Defign ; and
fo betray your Senfes, and confpire againft the Intereft of
Eafe and Pleafure.

31^/y, Life is the Foundation of all Happinefs, on
this all our Hopes and Expe6lations of worldly Pleafures
are built ; yet this is a thou land Dca;rees more uncer-
tainj than the Exiftence of a God : We know no more
when we came into the World, than the Child unborn,
and know no more when we fhall leave it. Our Stay
depends on a hundred Circumltances, and our Remo-
val on as many Accidents, we are neither able to a-
void, nor forefee: An Enemy may Poniard us ini6 the
other World, a Friend may carefs us tlVitbef ; Grief
links us into the Grave, and Joy overfets us: Nay, the
Scratch of a Pin oftentimes bailies the Virtue ^q^ Drugs,
and the Art of the Surgeon. The future is to come,
the palt is flown away, and .neither at our Difpofal ; {q
that we are only Mailers of the prefent : Now A'loney,
Health, and Life itfelf being To uncertain, fo precan-

U QUS,

2 j)o The Gentle ^^i AN Injlrti^ed.

ous, how can you peiTuade yourfelf, that PleafurCy
your I'ummum bunum^ is aflur'd ? But ')£ this be uncertain, '
Aiheiils and Latitudinarjans are mad to Extravagance ;
for then they chufe a Pack of brutifli, fhort-liv'd, and
uncertain Pleafures, before thofe eternal Joys of the
other World, that are exceffivcly beyond Thought, and
Ion?; beyond Imagination : Now if a Man would adt
fooliflily, who fliould chufe a Crown-that is uncertain,
before a Million that is equally uncertain; with what
Terms can [ exprefs your Frenzy, who rather lay
hold on a thin, paukry, uncertain Pleafure, than a
Happinefs that is uncertain indeed, but withal eter-
nal ; efpecially when you not only quit all Right to
this exorbitant Happinefs, but at the lame time run up
to the very Brink of Damnation ? for thofe who rejedl
Heaven, ipfo fa8o accept of Hell. We have waded
deep enough into this Matter. I will now draw up a
fliort Scheme of the whole Difcourfe, and then leave it
to your Confideration.

To fhew the Unreafonablenefs of Atheifm and Lati-
tudinarianifm, I have condefcended to more than you
durll ask, either in Juftice or Equity, viz. That the
Exiltence of a God is doubtful ; as well as the Neceflity
of profefling the Chrillian Religion for Salvation : Be-
fore you can pretend to Evidence, you muft turn com-
mon Senfe topfy turvy, and fly in the Face of Reafon:
I have lloop'd fo low as to grant thefe two Points doubt-
ful, to difplay the Weaknefs of your Pretenfions, and
to demonftrate, that Courtefy itfelfisnot able to juftify
your Conduft.

I ground my Difcourfe on this Principle ; wlpen two
Opinions, both doubtful, both uncertain, do concur; 'tis
a Folly to chufe that which will ruin me, if falfe; and
cannot turn to my Advantage, tho' true : You have fub-
fcrjb'd, and indeed all Nature has put its Hand to the
Principle: Now, Gentlemen, if the Opinions you em-
brace prove falfe, you will be eternally caft out of that
happy Region of the Bleiled, and eternally confin'd to
the Pitch and Sulphur of the Reprobate. It is pofTible for
a wretched Creature tolofe more on the one Side, or to
fuffer more on the other? Can any Man be more un-
happy than to be banifli'd from his Sovereign Happinefs ?
Or more miferable than to be ingulphed into a State of

eternal

The Gentleman Injlni^ed. 2^1

eternal Suftcrings ? Is not he undone, who has turn'd
Bankrupt not only of his Fortune, but even of4i!3 Hope ;
and has nothing left but Torments, K.age, and Defpair I
If your Opmions chance to be true, what Advantage
can you reap but petty Satisfa6lions of Senfe; which ra-
ther furfeit Than fatisfy, and ftupify more than they de-
light ? They look big only at a diftance, and nothing
when they draw near; they are indeed Giants in our
Fancy, and Pigmies in themlelves; yet you chufe thefe
contemptible Pleafures, that avail you little while you
live, and nothing when you come to die ; you leave thofe
which lad eternally; Now has not fuch a choice all
Characters of Folly ?

Pray, Gentlemen, fet fome Moments afide for Re-
flexion : The Bufinefs is of Weight, and deferves lober
Thoughts. Had you two Souls, you might lend one into
the next World to difcover how Things go in that un-
known Region j and if that fhould perifli in the Enter-
prize, you would have at leafl; another in Referye: But
alas, you have but one, and if that mifcarry, you are
loft for ever : The firfl Moment that lays open your
Misfortune, difcQvers the Impoffibility of retrieving it.

Theom. Come, Eufcbius^ we have almoft drain'd the
Subje6t ; let us change our Theme. You have arraigned
my Choice, and in your Fancy convi6led it of Folly and
Extravagance ; I impeach you of the fame Mifdemea-
nours : Pray let us fee if you can plead your own Caufe
with as much Art, as you have againft mine.

DIALOGUE VII.

T'ho^ there be no God^ and th(j* the Chrijiiayi Religion be
not thti only fwvtiig ReltgioM, 'tis Prudence to believe
there is a God^ and that the Chrlfllaa Religion is the
only faving Religion in the Worlds and to live up to
the Tenets of both.

Eufeb. V" O U have aHign'd me an eafy Province : The

-■- very opening of our Caufe is fufficient to gain

it. That we may not beat the Air, and moot at Rovers,

let us look back upon the old Pr.nciple, I4''hsn two iimer-

U z tuia

2pi fhe Gentleman Injru^ed,

tain Propfifuions lie before me^ I am obliged by all tVe
haws of Yr tide nee to chufe that whifh will turn to my
Advantage^ if true^ and cannot prejudice me^ if it bs
falfe ; I have eftablifhM this A4axim above, and I fee not
how you can offer againft it any thing of Moment.

Theom. Go on.

Eufeb. If our Opinions are true, when once we fhake
OiF thefe Clouds of Clay, thefe Mills of Dull and Aflies,
which interpofe between us and Eternity, we fhall be in
a mod comfortable Condition ; for the very Moment
that deprives us of Life, will repair all the Decays of Na-
ture, all the Ruins of Time; we fhall enter upon a State
ofBlifs, with a Spring that ever flourifhes, evet blooms;
upon a State inaccefliblc to Infirmities, unknown to Mi-
feries, above the Stroke of Fortune, and out of the Ju-
rifdiciion of Death : Now to pafs on a fudden from Fear
to AHuiance, from Sicknefs to Health, from Poverty to
Plenty, and from Death to Life, mult be a very enter-
taining Change: But what is this to that Ocean ofBlifs,
that flows from the Face of God? One Ray llruck Mo-
fes almoft blind ; his Mortality funk under fo glorious an
Appearance, and Nature was too weak tobear.the Splen-
dour of the Objeil, or to continue the Correfpondence.
The Fondnefs of Imagination always magnifies tempo-
ral Pleafures : Fancy over flouriOies the Objeft, and
paints beyond the Life ; they are more gaudy in our
Brain, than in thcmfelvcs, and the Expedtation of 'em
out-weighs Poileflion : But the Pleafures of the other
World are above Exprcflion, and Imagination too ; nor
can we take their Dimenfions by what they are, but by
what they are not : All that I can lay, is, they put an
V.vA to Fear, a Term to Hope, and a Stop to Defire ;
nnd certainly that Creature has touch'd upon the true
Point of Ilappinefs, that neither wilhes to be greater, nor
fears to be lefs.

T'heo. Well, well. Sir, you will indeed be very well
provided, if there be a God; but fuppofe there be none ;
you will confefs then that you have under- rated all the
Pleafures of this Life, and fold 'em for a Dream.

Eufeb. Sold 'em for a Dream, fay you? You lie under
a great Miftake ; tho' there are I'O fuch Things, as God,
or Heaven, I fell em to Advantage, and make the molt
of 'cm : The bare Probability of a happy Eternity, has

more

"/he Gentleman InftruBed, 25)3

more Worth, than a certahi Poltefrion of all the Advan-
tages of Life : Thefe Toys end in Vanity and Vex;wion
of Spirit ; we mif-fpend our Thoughts, we render our
felves cheap and defpicable, by throwing away our Incli-
nations upon thefe Amufemcnts: But I told you before,
that thofe Pleafures you talk of are as uncertain as the Joys
of Heaven ; and in this Cafe, I only truck one Uncer-
tainty for another : But then what I give is only tempo-
ral, and what I take eternal : Now, if there be a God,
my Fortune is made for ever ; if there be no God, I re-
ceive fmall Difadvantage ; I only difcard my felf of thofe
Things that are noxious to my Body, and fcandalous to
my Nature: At leafl, I live like a Man, though in the
End I die like a Brute, and fall into nothing : But do you
think Chriftians and Atheifts muft forfwear all Pleafure;
that they muft torture their Senfes, and only know they
live by Mortification and Torture ?

Theo. They muft check Paflion, arreft Appetite, and
curb the very Tendency of Nature to Pleafure: They
muft continually ftand upon their Guard, and fcour a-
bout for fear of a Surprize : Now thefe Employments
are laborigus and mortifying ; a Man that is thus upon
the Hoof can fcarce find Leifure for Diverfion : In fhort,
who lives up to the Principles of your Belief, muft di-
vorce from Mirth, disband from Company, and like
Toads, feed on the Poifon of Spleen and Melancholy.

Eufeb. We muft indeed have a watchful Eye over our
Paflions, and keep 'em within the Bounds of Reafon ;
we muft not ftep over the Limits of Decency, nor ex-
ceed the Prefcript of Moderation ; yet we have a large
Field to play in : Thofe Reftraints are laid upon us, be-
caufe an univerfal Liberty would undo us; and indeed, I
find (ew A6tions prohibited befides thofe, that either de-
bauch Health, crofs upon Reafon, or undermine So-
ciety : Now he who cannot be pleas'd unlefs he prepares
Work for the Dodlor, unlefs he revels away his Wits, or
unhinges the whole Frame of Commerce and Converfa-
tion, deferves, like Lyons or Bears, to be hunted out of
Society.

A Chriftian may pretend to fome Enjoyment in this
World, without forfeiting his Claim to the Delights of the
other'. If Providence has furnifh'd him with an Eftate,
he may both keep it, and ufe it too ; nay, he may take

U 1 thofe

ap4 ^-^^ Gentleman Infru^ed.

thofe Meallircs which Prudence and Juft ce lliall fugt
geit to improve it j he may alpire handfomifly to an
lionourable Poft, and clap on his Coach a Coronet^ if he
can procure a Patent; he may eat wholfome Food, and
drink, good Wine, fo he does not clog his Stomach, nor
offend his Brain: Indeed he muft beware of Excefs, and
this, methinks, is no great Encroachment on his Free-
dom, no .great Confinement to his Diverfion ; for cer-
tainly a Surfeit is not very entertaining ; and a Fit of
Drunkennefs is no charming Trance to any but to the
Spe6lators : If a Chriflian racks his Braili, flirinks his
Purfe, or weakens his Body with amorous Intrigues,
he pafles his Commiflion: But then he has the Freedom
to marry ; and v/hit will be the Difference between him
and an Atheift ; but that this dotes on a Miftrefs, and the
other places his Affections on a Wife ; that the one fa-
tisfies Senfe at the Expence of Duty, and the other joins
Duty with Pleafure ? So that upon the whole, unlefs Sin
be the only charming Circumftance, and that nothing
can gratify Senle, unlefs it invades our Innocence, your
Advantage over us is inconfiderable : But then, we have
other Advantages that balance this; our Pleafures are
clean, untainted, and (what is more valuable) inno-
cent; we enjoy 'envwithcutb'cruple, without Remorfe,
becaufe without Offence ; they are neither mixed with
Fear, nor Shame, nor are they follow'd by Repentance,
they bear the Tell of Confcience, and dare fland a Trial
at God's Tribunal.

Theo. If this be all, we ftand on equal Ground: My
Confcience enioys a continual Calm ;' it ileeps as ioundly
as if it had taken an Opiate, and always comes to the
Lure of my Defires.

Eufeb. You are flipt into a Fit of Bantering fure; a
Qu"ct Confcience to an Atheift is very extraordinary :
Tv.N no. Sir, in Spight of Debauchery and Infidelity too,
it will ftrugglc, it will turn upon you, when it finds you
alone, and fly in your Face : A Dofe of Claret may lay
it aileep, the Nolfe of Company, and the Tumults of
P.iffr.-^'a may dri^-vvn its Voice, or put a Stop to its Cla-
mours ; but when the Fumes are fettled, when the Com-
pany withdraws, and P;iffion runs in its own Channel,
it reads you unpleaf mt Lefliucs of Shame and liorrour ;
it opens a full Profpeft of Hell, enlivens Fear, it calls

' upon

The Gentleman InflruBeiL 2^ j

upon Defpair, and conjures up a Battalion of Fiends to
haunt you. ; Tell me, Theomachu^, when the Candles are
extinguifli'd, and Sleep flies from your Eyes; when the
Fire of Wine lias boil'd up your Blood into a fmall Fe-
ver; are you not plagu'd with Doubts, and hagg'd with
Apprehenfions ? Does not, what if there be a God, ring
a difmal Knell in your Ears, and tofs the Difeafe from
your Head to your Heart ? Would you not purchafe an
Aflurance, that there is no God ; no Reckoning with
a Lordfliip ?

Theo. Such Tlioughts fometlmes hover about me ; but
they fpring from Cuftom and Education. 1 was brought
up a Chriftian, and imbued with all the Principles of
that Perfuafion ; I fuck'd in from the Cradle thofe fright-
ful Notions of Judgment and Hell ; and Time has not
been able to wear out thofe difmal Ideas : The firfl:
Tin6lure flicks clofe, and the Errors of Youth are fel-
dom forgotten : But others who have had the good For-
tune to meet with a more free Education, laugh at the
Apparitions of thofe childifli Bug-bears, firft created by
Nurfes, and then kept up by Fancy.

Eufeb. Thefe dreadful Spedres neither owe their Be-
ing to Education, Nurfes, nor Fancy, they are very real
Things: Nature has ftamp'd the Belief of them in our
Soul, nor is Atheifm able to deface them : Thefe Sparks,
who have not lain under their Difcipline, who have
rang'd about the Ifland from their Youth, like the barba-
rous Brajilians in the Wildernefs of America, or wild
Afles on the Mountains, without Reftraint, without In-
ilrudtion, may hedtor Confcience, but cannot gag it : In
fpite of Debauchery it will fometimes upbraid, it will
throw Crimes before their Faces, and mufter up all the
Forces of Guilt and Punifliment to torment them.

Tell an Atheift, you have a Demonftration againft the
Being of a God, the bare Prop6fal quickens him j it
pours into him a new Supply of Vigour and Activity ; it
Iweetens his Nature, and throws off the mifty Vapours of
Spleen and Melancholy: Pray, why fuch Joy at the very
Apprehenfion of no God ? Is it fo welcome News to hear
that he muft drop into Nothing? And take Leave of Ex-
iftence when he bids adieu to Life? No certainly: But
Atheifts know, if there be a God, they muft once ap-
pear at his Tribunal, and they have no Inclination to put
U 4 ' th^

i3.p6 T'be Gentleman Inflru^ed.

the iiTue of their Caufe upon the Juftice of his Sentence.
Now, why fliould they fear to be condemn'd, unlefs
they know they have done ill? And hovv can rhey dread
Punifliment without trembhng at the Crime ? Who live
up to the Precepts of Chriftianity fear no future Evil, be-
caufe they adt none here ; they apprehend no Punifliment,
becaufe they deferve none. Such a Security is above
Price, it exceeds the fparkling Diadems of the Cefars,
and all the brutifli Pleafures of the Atheirts. 'Tis ai5ove
the Value of Gold or Diamonds, and can only be pur-
chas'd by Virtue.

Befidef, tho' we cafl: the other World out of the Que-
ftion, Chaftity, Modefty, and Temperance are honou-
rable Qualifications ; they draw Efteem, Refpedl, and Ve-
neration from the mcft vicious j for all efteem Virtue,
tho' they will not go to the Charge of the Purchafe ;
Now, tho' we fliould come fliort of Heaven, 'tis fome
Satisfi(5Uon to think that at leait we may leave a wor-
thy Memory to After-ages ; thjit our Virtue may ftand
upon Record to the laft ]\4omcnt of Time ; and that our
Names will not fleep by us in the Grave. Epicurus felt
not the Fits of Stone or Gout, when he m^editated on
the App'aufe Pofterity would give his Writings : This
imaginary Pleafure drowned his real Pains, and made him
enjoy a Paradife in Torments: The Violence of the Tran-
fport either mortify'd his Senfe, or infpirited his Mind.
J)ingenes prcferr'd Glory before fcandalous Delights; and
the very Appearance of Virtue before Libertinifrn : He
thought it worth his while to tie himlelr up to hard
Uiage, to filence the Clamours of Paflions, and to leave
behind him glorious Inftances of Temperance and Mo-
deration 5 that he might make a Figure in Annals, and
raife the Fame of his Tub higher than the Trophies of
jMiliiades: And indeed, there is a vaft Difference be-
tween the Delights of Senfe, and thofe of the Mind ;
thofe depend on various Circumftances, and muft touch
the Organ topleafeit: Perfumes in ylrabia cannot affc6l
my Nofe, not a Ragous in J:ip.;n regale my Palate : But
the Pie: fures of the Mind move in a larger Compafs;
they aft at Dill ince,and are neither coiifined to Place, nor
Situation: By a certain Spell of natural Magick it rai-
fcs up paft Pleafures, and feafts itfclf with Futurities ;
I can plcafemy felf with a l"hing that is paft, and franic
■ ' enter-

^he Gentleman InJiruBed. i^y

.entertaining Thoughts of what is to come : And this Pri-
vilege good Men po^efsj they perceive a prefcnt Satif-
fa6lion, ihat they have fecur'd their Memory from Oblo-
quy and Detraction ; and that when they expire, their
Actions will ftand up in Defence of tlieir Integrity : If
we throw thcfe two Advantages in the Balance, our Con-
dition will not be worfe than yours ; we flioll at leaft go
oil" tjie Siage like wife Men, and you will jump intO' no-
thing like Fools. But tho' we grant Atheifts and Latitu-
dinarians lead more pleafant Lives than Chrillians, this
cannot prejudice our Conduit; for ftill 'tis true, that all
is little, fuperficial, and inconliderablc, thft mull end.
Wherefore to conclude ; if it be true, That vjhen txvo
uncertain Propojuions lie before me^ I am obliged by the
Laws of Prtidence to chufe that which ivill turn to my
Advantage, if true, and cannot prejudice me, if it chance
tobe falfe ; you muft confefs, that tho' we are miftaken
in our Succefs, we are not in our Choice; and that we
are rather unfortun;ite, than imprudent.

Theo. Well, fuppofe all this true ; I am not one Step
nearer my Converfion than before.

Eufeb. That is very ftrange. I have drawn out a Map
of your Miftakes; I have balanc'd your Hopes with
your Fears, your Hazard with your Gain ; I have made
it clear to Evidence, that your Condu6l pafles iVladnefs
and Extravagance : Is not this fufficient to perfuade you
to alter it? Has Folly fo violent Attra6lives ; or Frenzy
fuch unconquerable Charms? Is it better to burn eter-
nally for a Miftake, than go to the Charge of cor-
recting it ?

Theo. Believe me, Eufebins, I am not dotingly fond
of Errors that coll fo dear: I would willingly call them
oft", were it in my Power ; but you know, that to ferve
God with a Doubt of his Being, is no lefs criminal, than
to deny him: Now I cannot ftretch my Faith to Firm-
r.efs or Certitude ; I muft waver on Doubts, and float on
Sufpicions ; for my Underllanding is not at Command,
it lies not under the Difcipline of the Will; Evidence a-
lone has the Power to bend it : I confefs I want Evidence,
and if you'll help me to a handfome Dofe, I'll return the
Favour with Gratitude.

Eufeb. Were you not educated in Chriftianity ?

Ti:>eo. I was.

Eufeb.

2.pS ^he Gentleman Inftni^ed,

Ejifeb. Did you not then believe the Exigence of a
God, and all the high Mylleries of Chi iilianity without
Doubts or Fears ?

Theo. I did.

Eufeb. When you grew in Years, did you never make
an Enquiry into Religion? Did you not take the Pains
to inform yourfelf why you believed, as well as what
you believed ? Did you take all upon Truft? And owe
your Faith to the Font alone, or to the Climate?

T'heo. I pafs'd a great Part of my Life in Retirement;
^nd made Reading both my Employment and Pleafurc ;
but efpecially I levelTd my Study at ihofe things that
were rather profitable than diverting; and contributed
more to ray future Happinefs, than my prefent Satisfadi-
on. Among thefe, I thought then, that Religion took
the firft Place; and in this View I fell upon Polemicks
with Eagernefs, and continued fome time with a never-
interrupted Application : My Progrefs anfwer'd my Ex-
pedtation ; I fancied I could defend my Religion againft
all Opponents, and convince any Man, if it were not
evidently true, that 'twas at leall evidently credible : To
be plain, I never doubted of any Article, and always
fjfpefted his Judgment or Morals that did.

Eufeb. Perchance thofe Motives have given your Me-
mory the Slip, perchance Timje and little Refleftion has
fullied their Luftre, and impair'd the Force of their
A6tivity.

Theo. No, I have them all before me: But, methinks,
they have another Face ; they want their former Brisk-
nefs and Vigour ; they llrike but faintly on the Brain }
and tho' they move the Underilanding, they cannot fet-
tle it : Their Evidence is funk lb low, that it fcarce holds
up to Probability.

Eufeb. Upon Examen and fecond Thoughts, have
you difcovcr'd Sophiftry ? Have they fail'd under Exa-
men, or ftirunk under a due Trial of Logick?

Theo. Indeed I never put them on the Rack, nor
brought them to the Teil of Reafon ; but I have read in
modern Authors fuch home Arguments againft the Be-
ing of a God, that 'tis impoHible there fliould be any
fuch Thing.

Eufeb. Hold, T/^ero/K.^cZ;///, you take Things by the falfe
Handle, and begin at the wrong End. You had Proofs

for

'fhe Gentleman hfirti^ed, 29^

for the Being of a God, for the Trutii of Chriftian Reli-
gion, that flafht Conviftion fo ilrongly, that they could
not be relilled with Prudence : Now, in turning over
Atheiftical Neotericks, you ftumhle upon fome Excepti-
ons : One cannot reconcile God'^ Juft ice with his Mercy ;
this feems to fall foul upon that : Another can neither
Jook back to the iirft Moment of his Eternity, nor grafp
his Immenfity, nor comprehend his Immutability : A
third is out of Conceit with his Government : Were
there a God, fays he, this would happen, and that would
not ; the whole Management of the World argues
Chance, rather than Wildom, and wants cither Forecaft
or Power : hence they conclude, ^ tlsimpofp.ble there jhould
be a God; therefore there is none : Blind Worms! who
are overpowered with the Beamsofa Planet, and dare fix
their Eyes upon the Sun; they know not themfelves,
and yet would comprehend their JVIaker ; Alas ! there is
nothing fo mean, but has fom.ewhat above us. We fall
under the Weight of a Straw, and are not able to diffccSl
a Fly, or to anatomize a Glow-worm. Could I com-
prehend God, I would fcorn to adore him : The very No-
tion of an infinite Being, implies Obfcurity ; andReafon
tells me, that an Underlfanding conhn'd to Limits, can
never take a full View of a Thing that has none. Look
you. Sir, you muft not turn you Back to plain Truths,
becaufe you cannot anfwer fomc untoward Qiieftions
about them. Tho' you fubpoenu a thoufand Objedions,
their Evidence will not be allow'd of in the Court of
Reafon, againft politive Demonitrations ; for we feldom
meet with any thing fomanifeft, that does not put Rea-
fon to a puzzle on fome Occafions. Zeno argued him-
felf out of the Exigence of Motion, as you have run your
felf out of the Belief of a Deity. Motion^ fays he, is impof-
JibL\ therefore there is no fitch thing : But his Speculatiori
was not receivable againft clear matterof Faft, and Dio-
genes would not difpute, but walk'd him out of his Error.
We lay before you a hundred Arguments, that prove the
Exiftence of a God ; you neither difcover Weaknefs in
the Principles, nor Error in the CJonclufion ; but very
fairfy ftep over 'em, and fall upon God's Attributes : You
rifle his Condudl, and canvas his Proceeding ; and then,
becaufe your purblind Reafon is put to a Nonplus ^ and
baffled in the Inquiry, you conclude his Efjl-ncc is impojfihle.

Poffibi-

300 7he Gentle ^'J AN Infru^ied,

PolTibililies would be drawn up in a narrov/ Compafs, if
a]l thiiT^s wereimpoflible that confounds aur Underiland-
ing: Follow my Advice, Gentlemen, reform your
Manners if you intend to believe.

Theo. Had I Faith, Virtue would follow ; but how can
J mortify Appetite, when I have no Afliirance either of
Reward or Punifhment ?

Eufeb. Quite contrary ; bid farewel to your Crimes,
nnd then you will have no Difficulty to believe ; whilft
'tis your Intereil there fhould be no God, that Chrifti-
anity fhould be an Impoiliure, you will believe neither;
for Intcreft fways our Judgment, as well as it commands
our Aftioris, and Demonftration itfelf is lefs perfua-
fiye : 'Tis an Error to think our Will has no Jurifdicftion
over our Reafon; it exercifes its Tyranny every day over
that noble Faculty -, it treats it like a Slave, rather than
a Frincefs, and Atheifts commit Rapes upon their Rea-
fon, as well as upon the Sex : Do you not believe you
were lawfully begotten ?

"Theo. I do.

Eufeb. And yet you have only your Mother's Word for
it ; but fliould flie declare the contrary, I lufpett you
would not pay the lame Deference to her Authority :
Now, why do you believe her in one Cafe with fo
much Eafinefs ? Why do you disbelieve her in the other ?
I luppofe her Negatives are not lefs credible than her /If-
firmatives ; and that flic deferves Belief when fhe denies
as well as when (lie aflirms. Here is the DilFerence ; 'tis
your Intereft to be lawfully begotten, and to be thought
ib : On this Account you enter upon your Father's Eftate,
and his Titles; but then to come in at the Back-door is
a mortifying Difadvantage ; it cuts off the Plight to Suc-
ceflion, and befides throws an Afperlion on your Perfon :
Now, tho' the Motives in both Cafes are the fame, the
Will biafled by Intereft, rides the Underllanding, and
forces it to alTent to the firft, and to diflent from the fecond :
Jf you fliake off ill Habits, if you walk within the
Bounds of Moderation and Temperance, and confine your
Thoughts and Aftions to what is lawful, you will pre-
fenlly look upon God, and Religion, as Things advan-
tageous to you ; becaufe one promifes Rewards, and the
(Qther will pay them ; and then prudential Motives, by the
Power of the Will, can eafily draw, and fix the Under-

ftanding

fhe Gentleman Injra^ed, 301

Handing in the Belief of Truths you now boggle at ; but
if you perfevere in Lewdnefs, and makeover your Heart
to Licentioufneis; if you dare not look another World
in the Face, nor take a Survey of Hell without almoil
feeling the Pains ; you will never firmly believe there
is a God, nor frame any tolerable Notion of Religion ;
for a liable and fettled Perfuaiion of thofe Things, runs
ib contrary to your prefent Intereft, that the Will, in
Spight of Evidence it felf, will fool the Undcrllanding ;
and either withdraw its Attention from the Conlidera-
tion of the Argument, or by fome fly Trick of Leg^crde-
main deludeit: No Man in the World ever deny'd a
God before hefear'd him; he firft defcrv'd Damnation,
and then thruft Juftice out of Being : And lb, Eudoxus^
I fancy you quarrell'd with the Morals of Chriilianity,
before you fell out with the Creed \ and all Religions
then only began to pleafe you, when Reftraint became
cumberfome. However, itheomachus^ in our following
Conference I will attack your Underitanding ; and I hope
to propofe fo lirong Arguments, as will be able to fix ic
in the Belief of a God.

In the mean time difmifs Pride, and turn off Prejudice;
this blinds Reafon, and that over-looks it ; the one will
not fee Truth, nor the other ftoop to embrace it: You
muil not fearch after Truth as if you fear'd to find it ;
fuch Purfuits are nothing but Ceremony and Grimace,
they are Symptoms both of Folly and Obftinacy, and in-
fallible Marks that you have fome finiftrous Defign, either
to put a Cheat upon your felf, or to call Scorn and Con-
tempt upon your Adverfary, Thofe Arguments I fliall
propofe, examine in God's Name ; difTed't the whole Dif-
courfe, weigh the Principles, meafure the Inferences by
all the Rules of Mood and Figure : But then fall not up-
on Criticifm^ as if your whole Bufinefs were to find
Faults, not Truths; to quarrel with them, not to allent:
Suppole 'em not counterfeit, before you have brought
'em to the Touch-Stone: Again, pray remember there is
a great Difference between Words, and a good Solution :
To return an Anfwer, is not to enervate a Proof ; we
may talk much, without talking to the Purpofe ; and ho-
ver about aQueftion, without coming up to the Point ;
And as you mull take care not to be too great in your
own Opinion, io others mult not be too little ; For Men

fcorn

302 ^he Gentleman tnJiru^Ud,

fcorn to learn of thofe they contemn: And befides, the
lead lntelli;2;ence from fuch a Quarter will be thorght
apocryphal : For we meafure the Force of Arguments by
the Abilities of the Propofer, and always preiume they
cannot rife above his height that made them ; fo that if
we under rate an Adverfary, we fhall by a neceflary
Confequencedefpife his Reafons: For a fmall Prepolld-
lion crcrites ill Notions, and thefe biafs the Judgment,
and give a wrong Turn to the Scale.

But above all things, implore the Succour of that
great Being, whofe ExiftenceyOu doubt of: Tellhimyou
arc in queft of his Exigence,, not only to know his Per-
fedlions, but to adore his Majefty, to love his Goodnefs,
and to fue for Mercy. Deiire him with Tears and Sighs,
todifpel thofe Mifts that darken the Underftanding, and
to dafli in Pieces thofe Chains of Senfuality that fetter the
Will ; that you may be fo fortunate as to fee the Truth
of his Being, and fo courageous as to embrace it ; for
the Adivity of a Caufe anlwers the Difpofition of the
Subject : All the Light in Nature will make no LnprefTi-
on on a diforder'd Eye : Fire may confume a Member
ftruck with the Palfy, but cannot heat it into Senfation;
and Demonftration may fhine upon the Underftanding,
but this will remain in Darknefs, and grope in Obfcurity,
unlefs the Will be put in Order, and the Veils of Preju-
dice, Pride and Licentioufncfs be remov'd: Now this is
the proper Bufinefs of Grace, which God will fend to
your Affiftance, if you ask it WMih Patience and Sin-
cerity : But if you will live on your own Fund, if you
will engage with a Refolution not to yield, or difputc
meerly to overcome; you will live an Infidel, and die a
Reprobate : All Arguments will only ferve to harden
your Heart, to inflame your Guilt, and heighten your
Obftinacy.

DIALOGUE Vin.

Eudoxus is not fatisfy'd with TheomachusV /Infwers.

A Fter fome Civilities, Eufeblus took leave of his Adver-
■^^ faries, and T/&eo»z<?f/^w conduced hira to his Coach ;

lie

^he Gektleman InftruBed, 303

he promifed to appear the next Day, and carry on the
Converfiition. In the mean time Eudoxus found himfelf
in fome Dilbrder above Stairs: This Conference had bat-
ter'd his Confidence, avvak'd his Confcience, and alarm'd
his Fears: He had only enlarg'd his Beh'ef to make room
for Debauchery, and would needs fave all Men not to
damn himfelf: Reftraint was his belt Argument againft
the Necellity of Chriftian Religion for Salvation, and no-
thing drew him into fuch-,a Latitude of Belief, but an un-
controird Liberty of Ailing. But when 1 e heard from
£ia/^/w/j- the Danger he run, and the Hazard he expos'd
himfelf to ; he found his Blood in a Ferment, and all the
Faculties of his Soul in an Uproar: He walk'd about the
Room in fuch a mufing Pofture, ihziTheomachus, now
return'd, could not tell what to make of this mute Scene :
His Motion reprefented a Farce, his Looks a Tragedy,
and both feem'd extraordinary amazing. What, faid Jheo-
machus^ are you wrapt in an Extafy, and fallen over
Head and Ears into Speculation? What turn'd Fhilofo-
pher ex tem^ore'^ Your Face has no metaphyi:cal Turn,
lay down the Diiguife, and put-on your Shape, you moke
an odd Figure in Mafquerade.

Eudox. Is Serioufncfs fo unbecoming? I am forry to
hear Gravity lits fo unhandfomely upon me, and that I
cannot put on a thinking Countenance,without adling the
Comedian: However, I hopeyou willexcufe me; your
Conference has given me fome Reafon to look demurely.

Theom. With all my Heart, upon Condition you'll not
turn thinking into a Pradice ;for, I tell you again, a Stoi-
cal Comportment agrees ill with your Conftitution, and
a contemplative Humour v/ill four the Blood, and caft
you into Fits of the Hypocbondry. Methlnks I can read
the Subject of your Meditation on your Face : I have tra-
veird far in Phyliognomy, and have drawn up a Map of
that Country: Inline, Sir, the Afpedl is fitted up for
Converfation, as well as the Tongue ; and like the cV/^^r-
/rt;7x comprehends much in a little ; it explains a Man's
Mind more clear than one can fpeak it : You are now an-
villing out fome petty Revenge againft £«/^/j/W, and in-
deed he deferves a Mortification for his Sophillry : He
talks with fuch a magifterial Confidence, as if he vented
nothing but Evidence : He is a kind offpiritual Hcdor,
and banters People into Subjedion and Slavery; he has

an

■504 'fhe Gentleman InftriiBecl

an impofing Air, and varnifhes his Reafonwith fuch Af-
furance, that unthinking Gentlemen miftake one for the
other : But you faw how I teazed him.

Eudox. i cannot tell what Judgment you frame of this
Morning's Conteft, but I counfel you not to crow or cry
V'tBoria; let it pafs for a drawn Battle; he may other-
wife think of the Prefs, and if the Adion takes Air, and
appears in View, perchance the Publick may pronounce
againft you. We are often fond of our own Exploits, and
eafily turn the Advantages upon our felves ; whereas,
God knows, impartial Readers may give it toourAdver-
faries, and lay Difl:ionour at our Doors. I mull own, I
wifli you had done your Part better, or th^t Eufel;iuj had
done his worfe : I find my interior in a Flame ; I feel an
unknown War in my Brealt ; your Converfation has
rais'd it ; my Fears are enliven'd, and tho' I am not in
Hell, methinks I defervc it,

'Tbeom. Certainly you rave, you have a feverifh Di-
flemper upon you, and the malign Humour has feiz'd up-
on the Brain : I never faw a Man before, found under an
Argument, or difcours'd into a Calenture : You take Ap-
prehenfions for Things, and turn a good Nature into an
Executioner : Your Troubles are but Dregs of Educati-
on, or airy Spirits that rife from Prejudice: Time will
wear 'em out* or Courage will daunt 'em; bear up with
Refolution, and you'll fcare your Frights, and loo.k thofe
dreadful Bugbears out of Countenance.

Eudox. I had rather you would reafon 'em out of Coun-
tenance : Uncertainty has begot 'em, and I fancy Cer-
tainty would deftroy 'em. A\\Theom<ichnsl If there be a
God, you are undone; and if Chriltianily be the only
faving Religion, I am undone alio.

Tkeom. Fie, Fie, I took you for a Man of Parts; for
a Man above Fear, and out of the Reach of Apprehenfi-
on. I tell you there is no God, and by confequcnce that
Chriftianity is nothing but pure Mummery and Tmpo-
fture : 'Tis a poetical Engine, fram'd by crafty Statefmen
to heave Men into their Duty.

Eudox. Butdid younotconfefs to£»/^^/>/, that you
were certain of neither ?

"I'heom. Prithee ask no Queflions : Let us take a turn
to the Blne-Pofis: Canary ck^rs more Controverfies in an
Hour, than Difputcs in an Age: A Glafs of good Wir.c

carrie.s

The Gentleman InflruBed, 305

carries off a Doubt in a trice, and I have found by
Experience that Fears are fooner dranlt, than reafon'd
away.

Eudox. The prefent Bufinefs is too ferious to be deba-
ted in a Tavern ; and I had rather argue, than laugh
with you. If I comprehend Eufebius right, we are in
ill Circumftances : For tho' it happen that we are nothing
in the next World, we are without peradventure Fools
in this. For, look you. Sir, both our Tenets are very
uncertain, and by legal Inference may be falfe; if they
are, what will become of us? Can any Creature fink
into a more defperate Misfortune, than we fhall certainly
meet with ? Can we lofe more than by forfeiting all I
Or can we fufFer more, than when wc fry in Flames
for an Eternity? I confefs this Eternity ftrikes a Damp
through every Joint: I dare not play with Thunder, nor
Itand the Stroak of the Omnipotent. On the other lide,
though the other Tenets prove true, what are we the
better? Firfi^ Thofe Pleafures we pretend to, are as un-
certain, as that Hell we now ridicule, as that Heaven we
burlefque. Secondly, Suppofe they were moil certain,
they are not able to render us happy when we die, nor
content whilft we live ; they only ferve to engender Dif-
eafes, to provoke Confcience, and to prey upon our E-
ftates: They are Things beneath a rational Creature, not
worth enjoying, nor even the contending for: Now fee-
ing there is fuch an immenfe Chaos between our Hopes
and our Fears, fuch a monftrous Difproportion between
our Lofs and our Gain, how is it poflible for Men to
fwerve more palpably from the common Diftamens of
Prudence than we ?

Theom. I tell you,the Immortality of the Soul is a meer
flourifhof Fancy. 'Tis a Platonical Idea form'd at A-
ihens ibme thousands of Years ago, and wafted from be-
yond Seas \no\xr Smyrna Fleet.

Eudox. Could you prove your Allertion, my Fears
would be at an End : I would laugh at my prefent
Frights, and fport with thofe Flames I tremble at. I
nm not yet cloy'd with Liberty, nor furfeited with Mirth ;
nor am I fo befotted with Pleafures of Senfe, as to
charge thro, gh Fire and Brimftone for their fake : But
you have gi-.nted to Eufebius, that this very Point has
no more Certainty, than that of the Exiftenceof a Deity;

X So

3i:i6 T^^ G E N T L E M A N InJIruM.

So thattho' you name it a Fable; for ought we know it
may be a real Story.

Theom. But do ydu remember I told Eufehius^ that a
tottering Belief of a God, or of Chriftianity, would not
do our Turns, tho' we bridled our PafTions, and bound
up our Appetite to Penance and Mortification : Now if
you have in ftore an Argument, that can convey Convi-
6lion, impart it to your felf, and ftand to the Belief of
Chriftianity with Refolution : But if you have not, and
there be a Hell, a wavering Faith, tho' waited on by all
the Virtues of the moft rigid Reclufe, conducts you to
Deftrudtion, as furely as Debauchery : Of the two give
me therefore a pleafant Life, and a wretched Eternity,
rather than a miferable Life, and a miferable Eternity ;
for of two Evils I am for the lefs. *

Eudox. I confefs I am at a lofs for fuch an Argument ;
yet my Mind gives me, that Induftry may make a Dif-
covery, either for the one Side, or for the other ; that is,
we may fall upon a Medium that will unriddle the My-
ftery ; and either certainly convince us, that all the
Dreads and Terrors of a future State are Fidlion and Im-
pofture, or that they are real Things ; for if the Cafe
Hood otherwife, I fliould be tempted to Timonize, and
clap a Satyr upon our whole Species; I fnould break it&
Efcutcheon, and throw its Titles of Honour upon Biars,
LyoKS, and Tygers: For certainly Man with his pompous
and magnificent Prerogatives of Reafon, would fink be-
low the Level of the vileft Infeft ; becaufehis Lot would
be Fear, and tormenting Thoughts here, and perchance
more tormenting Fire hereafter : Beafts, poor Creatures,
neither wafte their Spirits vinth the towring Pretenfions
of Place, nor Precedency ; nor with the carking Appetite.
of having, nor with the trouhlefome Apprehenfion of
lofing: Their Care neither looks backward nor forward;
their only Labour is to fence againft the prefent Neccfli-
ty ; they neither expe6l any Advantage from the future,
nor any Misfortune ; they deiire not to be better, nor
fear to be worfe»-They gently glide down the Tide of
Nature, and fail down contentedly with the Current of
Inclination : All their Pains and Pleafure expire with
their Life, and when their Taper is fpent, and burn:
within the Socket, they lie down to fleep, ;?nd evapo-
rate into Nothing : But alas ! poor Man, is tantaliz'd with

plea-

fhe Gentleman Injru^ed, 307

pleafant Dreams of a future Felicity, and haunted with
frightful Spedres of never-ending Miferies; yet accord-
ing to your new Theology ^ he is not able to difcover whe-
ther thefe Things have any real Being, but in Imaginati-
on : What is this but to hang him on the Tenters ? But
to ftretch him on the Torture? And to make his chief
Privilege, Reafon, fubfervient to his Torment? There
may be a God, fay you, a Hell, a Heaven,* and one only
faving Religion : If thefe things are true, and we live as
if they were falfe, we are loll: On the other fide, if
they are falfe, and we check Appetite, and conform
our Adions to the moft rigid Morality, we labour in
vain, and take Pains to meet with Difappointment: But
then again, if they chance to be true, though we live pi-
oufly, if we believe not ftedfaftly, our Bulinefs is done:
We mult pitch our Tents with the Liberiwes and Athei[is^
and keep Company with the unfortunate Fry of the Re-
probate. 'Tis true, could we believe without Doubts,
a little Mortification of our Paffions, fome Reilraint up-
on Appetite might fecure us ; but this, you fay, is im-
poflible, becaufe there are not to be found in Nature, Mo-
tives fufficient to fettle our Judgments in a firm Belief,
either of a Deity, or of Religion ; fo that in fpight of
Fate, of Prudence and Virtue, poor Men muft agonize
here under all the dreadful Convulfions of Fear ; and, if
there be a God, under the Weight of his Revenge here-
after : This is a murdering Dodrine, Theomachus ; and
if true, you muft conclude, that Nature is a Step- mother
to Man, and that God created him in his Fury ; that he
grac'd him with Knowledge, to fit him up for Mifery:
Let us rather fay, we may find fome Thread, if we take
t!jc Pains to look about us, to guide us out of this wan-
dering Labyrinth: We may dive into things, till we fall
upon Certainty ; and difcover whether Impofture lies
on our Side, or theirs who oppofe our Principles: But,
Sir, I have, 1 fear, Trefpafs'd upon your Patience, and
perchance good Breeding alio: But pray charge my Dif-
order, wiih thefe Failings, and take an Excule forAtons-
mcnt.

X 2 DIA

308 fhe Gentleman InfiruM.

DIALOGUE IX.

Eudoxus unfat'isfied with the Difcourfe of TheomachuSy
goes to Eufebius.

JPUDOXUS return'd to his Lodgings with a heavy
-^-^ Heart : He gave Scope to his Fancy, which warm'd
with the Morning Difpute, was become ungovernable :
It flew from one difmal Apprehenfion to another, till at
length it wandred into Hell, and drew out all the Ter-
rors of that wretched Region to fcare him : The Con-
templation of that Place of Torment, of Fire, Darknefa
and Defpair, fqueez'd out Tears, Sighs, and Lamenta-
tions. Woe be to me, faid he, when I die here to Plea-
fure, if I live hereafter to eternal Pains : This may be
my Fate, and certainly will be, if Chrillianity be the
only faving Religion, and there be any Punifhment for
Infidehty; I fliy it will be, unlefs I lay afide both
Doubts and Lewdnefs : This is an Affair of the higheft
Confequence; it deferves my Solicitude, and will re-
ward my Labour with Intereft, which way foever it
turns, I will therefore think of no other Bufinefs, till I
have brought this to a happy Conclufion: By the Suc-
cefs of this I muft ftand or fall.

The Refolution was taken ; but he foon found himfelf
in an unknown Region, without Stars, Mip, or Guide to
lleer his Courfe by : He purfued Certainty, but knew
not in what part of the Globe it dwelt, or where to ad-
drefs himfelf for Diredtion. firfi^ He thought to fall
upon Reading ; for Books being the Produdt of Time
and mature Thoughts, are generally polifli'd ; they tell
us how far our Underflanding can go towards the Difco-
very of Truth ; and leaving Impertinencies behind, draw
off" the Spirits and Eilence from the Subjeft: But then
he was at a puzzle about the Choice: Bad Books, faid
he, are as contagious as lewd Company -, and, what is
worfe, more frequent, and more afteding ; for they are
fet off with lufcious Expreflions, and with quaint Lan-
guage, which carries down the Poifon with Pleallire:
Like Ladies, they never appear in Publick, but under a
gaudy Drefs ; and care is taken to wafli over the Foulnefs
of the Subjeft with a pleafing Tarnifli: A Man may as

well

7%e Gentleman InJlruBed, 305)

well learn Chaftity in the Stews, Temperance in Ta-
verns, Honefty in Newgate, Meeknefs among Heilors,
and the Belief of a God among Atheifts, as Chriftianity
among thefe wretched Pamphlets. An ill Subject well
handled doubles the Danger of reading it; the Mifchief
rifes with the Wit, and infedls in Proportion to the Art
of the Author. In fine, he was tofs'd from Refolution to ■
Refolution, without knowing which' to refolve on;
till at length he reflefted of Eiifebius : 'Tis true, he had
no Acquaintance with the Gentleman, but being taken
with his Morning's Difcourfe, he was fatisfied of his Ca-
pacity, and judg'd favourably of his Probity. Thefe
Considerations made him break through all Difficulties,
and the prefent Aches of his Mind, added Wings to the
Defire of finding a Lenitive.

He went therefore out of Hand to Eufebius's Lodg-
ings, and laid open the State of his Interior; he conjur'd
him by allthat's facred to lend his Afiiftance ; and, if
poflible, to cure that Wound himfelf had made: He
fpoke with a Vehemency, that eafily perfuaded Eufehius
he was in earneft ; and his Suit was too jufl to receive a
Denial.

Sir, faid Eufebiu!, you have addrefs'd your felf to a
Perfon, that is perchance lefs able than willing to affift
you : I aflure you of my Readinefs ; the Ifllie mull an-
fwer for my Ability. I anrglad (pardon the Exprelfion)
of your Dillemper : When we feel the Difeafe, there is
Hopes of a Cure ; but when we have no Senfe of our
Condition, 'tis time to think of a Coffin. Neither fpurn,
nor kick at Providence for this painful Ufage: The O-
peration, no doubt, is fharp, but withal neceflary ;
Health of the Body is not recovered without Pain ; an
Impofthume calls for a Lance, and Oppletion for unpa-
latable Evacuatories. The fame Methods are applicable
to Difeafes of the Soul : Whilft Confcience fufFers De-
bauchery without Murmur, without Complaint; whilft
we enjoy a profound Peace within us, in the midft of
Crimes, as well as of Innocence, we find no Inclination
to reform : That falfe Tranquillity lulls us afleep, it
keeps ferious Reflexions at a Diftance, and perfuades
our foolifli Credulity, that no Danger threatens us, be-
caufe we apprehend none : But when Offences fit uneafy
jipon us, when Pleafuresgall us, when Infidelity becomes

X 3 fufpedled^

310 T'he Gentleman Inftruthd,

fufpe6led, and Lewdnefs it felf troublefome ; we begin
to furvey our Condu6t, to compare the Frefent with the
Future, to face our Hopes with our Fears, and tlie De-
lights of this Life with the Torments of the other : And
when we difcover thofe grofs illufions we he under, a
httle llruggimg with the help of God's Grace, will break
through all Impediments v.'hich interpofe between us and
our Duty: Take therefore this Anguifh of' Mind as a
Pledge of God's Kindnel's, and of your future Felicity j
he ftrikes in his Mercy, as well as in his Juflice ; he
heals when he wounds, and fpares when he punifhes :
Never defer the fearch of Truth, nor faulter till you
have found it : Slacknefs in a point of this Importance is
always dangerous, and fometimes mortal : When we
refufe God's kind Invitation, he often chaftifes our Incivi-
lities/';^ /7rf^r««/7, and fcarce leaves a Moment between
the Affront and the Revenge, When I was fome Years
ago in Flanders^ an Officer of my Acquaintance gave me
a Vifit; he was one of thofe, who make no Diltindlion
between Religion and Faftion ; who jell at Faith, and
fpend their Lives in its Service : He could no more be-
lieve that Church true he fought for, than that he fought
againil: He ridicul'd the one, and contemn'd the other ;
he treated Morality ill in his Difcourfe, but worfe in
Pradice: I thought a little Warmth and Expoftulation
were juftiiiable on fuch an Occafion, and fo I took him
up roundly ; I drew out in lively Colours the Horror of
his Life, the Unwarrantablenefs of his Proceeding, and
the Severity of thole Pains God had prepar'd for Liber-
tines in the next World ; together with the Curies that
would fall upon his Head in this : He took leave of me,
and retir'd to his Inn, but after Dinner he return'd : I
have often, faid he, receiv'd Proofs of your Kindnefs, but
never greater than this Morning : I have look'd into my
felf fince I faw you, and confefs my Cafe would be de-
fperate, had I lefs than an infinite Mercy to confide in:
Some urgent Buiinefs calls me to my Garrifon ; but next
Week I will return, and advife with you about the grand
Affair of my Salvation. This is a Call from God, an-
fwer'd I, and perchance it maybe the laft: The Cam-
paign draws near ; and when once you have taken the
• Field, you will neither be Mailer of your Time, nor your
Life; your Employment challenges that, and a Bullet
may difpofe of this before you are aware, 1

the Gentleman Inftni^ed, 311

I am fenfible, reply'd the Gentleman, of my Cafe,
and of the Danger; and nothing fhall alter my Refolu-
tion ; and fo he departed. He kept his Word, and with-
in ten Days return'd; he pafs'd by my Lodgings, and
told me he would not fail after Dinner to wait upon me,
and hop'd to bring his Bufinefs to a happy Conclufion:
Permit me, Sir, faid I, to attend you at your Inn: 'Tis
much more ealy to fall into Company, than to difengage
your felf : Men of your Calling, had rather ftorm a
Half-moon than aflail Cuftom, or attack Ceremony :
But he would not hear of my Propofition ; he left the
Company, and was on his way; when unfortunately he
met with a Friend, who invited him to a Bottle of Cham-
faigne: He would not accept of the Invitation; but the
other would not be deny'd : And fo at length away they
march'd together. One Bottle drew on another, and their
Debauch ended with the Night: In the mean time, an
Exprefs calls him to his Regiment : The French have taken
the Field ; and all muft march to watch their Motions :
He returns home in Poft ; he goes to the Camp, and
fhortly after lofes his Life at Steenkirk : We may truly
fay, this poor Gentleman was near Heaven ; but God
fend the unhappy Rencounter of a Friend d'id not put him
out of the way ! Fie was invited to Repentance, he made
a fair Advance; and, I may fay, the Bulinefs was al-
moft finifh'd,becaufe he ferioufly refolv'd to conclude it.
But a Bottle oiChampaigne put in a demur: It fufpend-
ed the Execution ; and then the fudden March of the
Troops broke off the Negotiation. He went to the Field
a Libertine, and in all Probability dy'd one. As God
touch'd his Heart, fo he has foftened yours : Pray, Sir,
let not Negligence mifufe the Favour, nor turn it into a
Curfe: Let it Hand up for you at God's Tribunal, as a
Witnefs of Gratitude, not of Obftinacy. I counfel you
for fome Days to withdraw into a Place of Retirement :
Vifits will diftraft you, and may llifle your pious Refo-
lution, if your Defign takes air. If your Companions
learn you are going into another Intereft, they will raife
a hundred Batteries againft your Conftancy ; and though
you come off vi^ith Vidory, you will not get clear of
their Temptations without Danger; I will willingly wait
upon you into the Country, if yOu can pitch upon a con-
yenient Place.

^ 4. Eudox,

312 ne Gentleman InJlruBei.

Eudux. You will infinitely oblige me : My Houfe Is
but four Miles off; and, if you pleafe, we will take
Coach this Evening.

Eufeb. I am content, but I muftexcufe my Departure
to Tbeomachus^ otherwife he may fv^nd Hue and Cry af-
ter me ; and Si quis me in the next Gazette.

He fenthim a Letter to let him know that a Bufinefs
of Importance requir'd his Prefence in the Country ; that
he would difpatch it with convenient Speed, and that the
fame Moment his Hands were rid of that Trouble, he
would return to profecute the Conference. Theomachm
anfwer'd he was his own Mailer ; that he might take his
Time, and that he would expedl his Return with Plea-
fure: They immediately took Coach, andarriv'dat£a-
doxush Houfe.

DIALOGUE X.

Eudoxus retires ivith Eufebius into the Cotmiry, where
they meet with Arioviftus, a High-floxvii Laiitudina-
rian.

XpUD 0 XUS\ Mother receiv'd her Son with Tender-
■*-' nefs: She was a Lady of a Piety above the common ;
fhe lov'd her Son, but could not diilembJe his Vices: She
often admonifli'd him of the Danger he expos'd his Soul
to, and fometimes mingled Tears with gentle Reproofs.
But his time v^^as not yet come, and all her Admonitions
only ferv'd to heighten his Obduracy : Yet fhe gave not
over; fhe implor'd God's Alliftance in private,. and be-
feech'd his Mercy to ftrike out of this Rock fome Tears
of Repentance ; to recal this Prodigal, who had imbe-
zell'd all his Treafures of Grace, and pawn'd his Religi-
on to Proilitutes: Her Friends admir'd her Charity, and
pity'd it. Once a Divine aflur'd her, that a Child of
Tears would never perifli : She took the Words for an O-
racle, and fancy'd he fpoke by Infpiration: Though her
Son's Profanenefs touch'd her to the quick, the Hopes of
his Converfion kept her in Heart ; and the more he ra^
from Piety, the more fhe praftis'd if.

When

'The Gentleman InJIruBed, 313

When Eiidoxus arriv'd, fhe read fome Change in his
Face ; his Behaviour was more grave ; his Looks more
fober, and all his Carriage breath'd an Air of Modefty.
At firll fhe fufpefted'the Dice had run crofs, and that the
Caufe of his Aielancholy lay in the Pocket : Then (he
fear'd he was hammering out fome amorous Intrigue, or
lay under the Mortification of a criminal Difappointment.
But Eudoxus foon diffipated her Sufpicions, by telling the
Caufe of his unexpefted Arrival. She was over-joy'd at
the News, and almoll funk under the Excefs : She gave
Eufeblus a thoufand Thanks, and ftil'd him her Son's good
Angel. They were fitting down to Supper,when in comes
Ariovlflus Wxih. another Gentleman. The Lady was fur-
priz'd at the Arrival of fo unexpected a Gueft ; his very-
Sight drew the Blood to her Face, and though fhe was
Miftrefs of her Words and Adtions, fhe could not com-
mand her Refentment. She fear'd left this importune
Vifit might nip her Son's Refolutions, and dafh in Pieces
the Hope fhe had of his Converfion. However, fhe forgot
not Civility in the very Heat of her Difturbance, and
skreen'd oft' her Concern with a hearty Welcome.

But after Supper fhe took Eufebius alide, and expos'd
her Fears with all the Energy of Tears and Paffion. Sir,
faid fhe, God fend your Charity meet with Succefs: I
fufpeft Ariovijius cloaks fome ill Defign under the fpeci-
ous Outfide of a Vifit, and that another Errand brought
him here, befides meer Civility : His Morals run even
with his Religion ; he believes what flatters Pride, and
adts whatever fawns upon Senfe ; he goes upon one Prin-
ciple, which is to ftick at nothing, that fides with Inte-
refl, or gratifies Appetites. This Man firft furnifh'd Eh-
doxus with corrupt Maxims, and Theomachus taught
him the Application. In fine, both have contributed to
his DeItru6tion, and my Misfortune.

Eufebius defir'd her not to take the Alarm. I will find
occafion, faid he, to engage /Iriov'iftns in a Difpute, I
doubt not of the Succefs : The Overthrow of the Mafter
may work upon the Scholar. He may yield to thofe Rca-
fons Ariovijius^ I am fure, will not be able to refifl.
The next Morning, when they fat together in the Par-
lour^ Chance gave the cue to a hot Debate, that cover'd
4rioviftus with Confufion, and Eufebius with Glory.

D I A-

314 S'^^^' Gentleman Injiru^ecl,

DIALOGUE XI.

God does tieither command^ nor permit us to conform ts
the Religion of ike Country where we live.

'T' H E Poft hxo^JL^1iEudoxus a News Letter from Lo»-
"*- don^ which gave an x^ccount of new Laws enadled

againft Papifts.

Anov. This A61 is worthy of that great Aflembly. I

have nothing againft the Proceedings, but that it's too
moderate, and indulging: Belides, methinks it fnould
have reach'd all DilTenters; for all being guilty of Obfti-
nacy, none fhould be exempt from Punilhment.

ILufeb. How ! Too indulging! What will you call fe-
vere ? Papifts are difieiz'd of their Birth-right, ftrip'd of
Property, and expos'd to the Infolence of villanous Infor-
mers^ and Catch-poUs ; and after all, you complain of Mo-
deration. Miftake me not, Sir, I neither arraign the Wif-
dom nor the Juftice of the Parliament : That Atigufi Bo-
dy may have Reafons unknown to us: But I difapprove
your perfecuting Humour : DilTenters are our Fellow-
Subje6ls ; the Relation dcferves I'endernefs, and calls for
fome Companion : It's Barbarity to out-rage a Felon at
the Bar, or to infult over a condemn'd Wretch 2.\.Tyburn^
much more over Diflenters; who, for ought we know,
have no other Crime, but their Religion.

Ariov. Let them conform, and they (liall enjoy the
Prote6lion of the Government, and the Liberty of En~
glipmen: But if they take the Pet, and ftray from the
eftablifh'd Worfhip of the Realm ; the Common- wealth
muft take Notice of their Prevarication, and punifh it :
And as thofe who fuffcr for the Breach of Laws, die de-
fervedly ; fo they who lay down their Lives fir any Re-
ligion out-lav;'d by the Common-wealth, are Malefi-
(Ttors, not Martyrs: They only pafs through one Punifl:i-
ment into anottfer: Thoufands, Eufebius^ are cano-

^ niz'd here on Earth, that will never be Sainted m Hea-
ven.

Eufeb. Hold, Sir, this Dcftrine fhould be bleach'd; it's
fo monftroufly foul, there is no enduring it: Jt (hould
fiafs a (^iurantaifie in fome Lazaretta; methinks it

fmells

7%e Gmrt "EM A u JnJ^ruBed. 315

fmells rank of Infeftion. Blafphemy fits on every Sylla-
ble : What think you ? Did St. Laurence and St. Stephen
die like Criminals ? Are not their Names regifter'd in the
Book of Life, as well as in the Martyrologue? Yet they
died for a Religion, condemn'd by the Supreme Autho-
rity of Rome and J«ry. Sir, I would have you difpute
this Point at the Old Ba'tly. Blafphemy is punifli'd with
Fire in this World, as well as in the next.

Ariov. Heat and Inveftive rather fret an Adverfary,
than convince him : More Reafon and lefs Paflion, are
proper for a Man of your Age and Chafadter : You are
on the Decay, Sir ; your Deportment fhould be as cold
as your Blood ; and your Paflions as grey as your Head.
I fay, God made Man for Commerce, we cannot live on
our own Fund ; v/e muft barter with our Neighbours-;
and this Foreign Correfpondenceis requilite to furnifh our
Happinefs : A fociable Life is imprafticable, (I would
fay impofllble) unlefs Inferiors lie under an indifpenfable
Obligation of obeying, and Superiors have an uncon-
troulable Power to ordain all thofe things, that are ne- '
ceffary to fupport and conferve Society.

Now, what can be more neceflary than Union, and
Harmony of Opinions? This cements all the Parts, and
moulds them into one great Body : It infpirits them to
Adlion in their defign'd Station : It combines their Inte-
reft; and by confequence their Endeavours: But when
their Minds are divided, their Interefts are feparated,
and then they club into Fadlion ; and v^hilil each Cabal
drives at private Ends, the whole Fabrick of the Go-
" vernment firft totters, and then falls into Confufion.
But of all Diviiions, thofe that fpring from Differences
in Religion have ever prov'd the moft fatal. Zeal has
open'd more Veins than Cruelty, and laid wafte more
Provinces than Ambition ; it has rifled thole very Places,
Avarice it felf left untouch'd, and fet on fire thofe Reli-
gious Edifices, Impiety revered : It has brought fome
Princes to the Scaffold, and others to abdicate : In fine,
new Seditions break in upon the State with new Reli-
gions, and the eftablifli'd Government is always ftruck
at, with the eftablifh'd Church. Pretence of Piety leads
the Fan^ but Sword, Canmn^ and Defolation bring up
the Rear.

Seeing

^i6 T'h Gentl-eman Inftru^ied,

Seeing therefore God commands us to live in Society,
he has impower'd the chief Magiftrate, with a full Com-
milTion to enadl thofe Laws that arerequifite for the fur-
thering this great Defign : Now nothing under Heaven
can be more neceflary, than a power to eftablifh Religi-
on, therefore God has entrufted every fupreme Magi-
ftrate with that Power ; whence it follows, that every
Religion fettled by Law, binds all thofe who live ur)der
the Protection of that State ; and by confequence I dare
not excufe any Dijfenter from Treafon, both againft the
Common-wealth and God.

In a Word, we mull conform our Belief to that of
the Country where we live ; nor can any Pretence of
Confcience or Revelation exempt us from the Obligati-
on : Hence, I fay, that Stephen the Deacon loll his Life
at Jerufalem^ as fairly as Stephen the Joyner at Oxford :
They both fell by the Law, and therefore juflly. Death
makes not a Martyr, but the Caufe; this alone diftin-
guifhes the Innocent from the Guilty.

Eufeb. Blefs me I where are we ? The Jews tore their
Garments, when they heard Blafphemies, but Chriftians
turn it intoEntertainment ; certainly nothing butDamna-
tion is able lO force out fuch flaming Expreflions : Your
Difcourfe is too rank to undergo a Difledtion ; it carries
with it a Complication of Crimes, that won't bear the
very naming : Like flagitious Malefa6lors, they infecft
on the Hurdle, and kill at their Execution : It's almoft
fafer to diflemble, than to arraign them ; and they are
taught, whilft they are reprov'd : But feeing you have
flung Poifon among the Audience, I'll venture to prefent
them an Antidote. You fay, St. Stephen dy'd a Rebel, no
Martyr ; that he fell by Law, and confequently by the
Hands of Juftice: But this hellifh Logick argues our blef-
fed Saviour into Rebellion, and lligmatizes him for a
convided Confpirator ; for certainly he died by Com-
mand of the Magiftrate : Innovation in Matters of Reli-
gion made up one part of the Charge againft him, and
Treafon the other. I fuppofe this horrid Infolence lay
out of Sight ; for Gentlemen of your Perfuafion are
fhort-fighted, and are fo taken up with Principles, that
they overlook Iflations: Remember, Sir, we live under
a pious Princefs, and a reforming Parliament ; fo that I
do not defpair within feme Days to hear, that fevere

Laws

7he Gentleman Injlru^cd. ^ 317

Laws are paft agalnft thofe that blafpheme God, as well
as againft thole that ferve him.

/Iriovijius began an Apology, but Eufebius refus'd to
hear it. Sir, faid he, the Text is too plain to need a
Comment, and too horrid to deferve one: To excufe
Blafphemy, is but a Hair's breadth from defending it:
The very hearing of the Word abates the Horror of the
Crime ; for no Offences are lefs detefted, than thofe that
are often fpoken of: Belides, I have only glanc'd at an
Inference ; the Principle is more flagitious, and therefore
muft be brought to the Bar. You fay God commands
us to conform to the Religion of the Country where we
live ; and that to profefs any other, or to believe nothing,
is equally criminal.

ArtGV. I fay fo.

Eufeb. Is your AfTertion univerfal ?

Ariov. It takes in all Religions ; it reaches all Nations,
as well as all Ages.

Eufeb. God therefore commands me, when I am in
England^X.0 deny Tranfubflantiation ^Prayers for the Dead^
Seven Sacraments., &c. But if Bufinefs calls me to J? arts.,
Rome., or Madrid., he commands me to fteer about, and
believe them : In Chrijiendom I muft believe Chrift is
God ; but if a brisk Gale wafts me over into Afia, I
muft deny it : At Confiantinople I muft fwear there is one
God, and that Mahomet is his Prophet; but at my re-
turn into the Weft, I muft change my Tune, 1 muft
fwear the Prophet into an Impoftor, and his Revelations
into Forgery: But if I fteer towards the North, and fet
up in Laplandf then I muft bow to a Red Cloth, and
pour forth my Orifons to Madam Pufs : Again, if I
double the Cape^ and put in at Cochin, I muft fall pro-
ftrate before an Apeh Grinder.

Jriov. Well, and what harm in all this ?

Eufeb. Why truly, travelling will be expenfive : Be-
fore we fet out, we muft provide ourfelves with Alexan-
der RoJJ'e's View of Religions \ we muft make a handfome
Collection of /iftrolabe's Q^iadrants., and j^rtfo^'s Staffs, to
find the Lines of Longitude, and Latitude; for in your
Hypothefis, Mathematicks muft be our Rule of Faith,
and Climates the Motives of our Credibility. This is a
pretty Syftem, and has the Advantage of Novelty to re-
commend

31 8 Th Gi^TLiMAii hjru^ed.

Commend it : I have often feen Controverlies try*d by
Scripture, Tradition, znd Re af on ; but to compofe a Dif-
ference by Logarithms, Sinus's, and Tangents, is extra-
ordinary: The Invention is worthy of your Wit, and of
the fame Piece with your Piety: In good time you may
improve the Difcovery, and find cut the true Rehgion,
as v^^e do true Guineas, by the IVeight.

But if in England Tranfubjtantiation be falfe, it can-
not be true in France, Spain, and Italy ; and if in Europe
our BleiTed Saviour be really God, all the Power of the
Grand Seignior can never turn him into a meer Man in
Jijia : In fine, if Mahomet be an Impojlor in the IVeJi,
how can he be a Prophet in the Eajl ? For Truth is no
Trimmer, it will not Hand on both fides of the Contra-
didion.

it's evident therefore that God commands me to believe
a Fallhood, either in England, or beyond Sea ; nay, and
engages his Authority to perfuade me : He threatens Hell,
if I refufe, and offers Heaven, if I conform. In England
I honour him, by fwearing Tranfubjlantiation is a meer
Fi6lion, the Produ6t of Ignorance, and Spawn of Super-
ftition ; but this Tramontane Honour carries Damnation
with it at Rome ; here I muft fv/ear Tranfubjlantiation is a
very real Thing, and fo fly in the Face of my own Evi-
dence. Perjury therefore in your Religion paiTes for an
Adl highly meritorious, id eji^ a Icandalous Crime for a
moft edifying Virtue. What mad Notions do you frame
of God ? You level him with Gates, and fling him below
Bedloe : You feem to acknowledge a Deity meerly to
make him capable of Contempt and Infamy.

Ariov. You miftake me, I neither impeach God of
Forgery, nor Impofture ; I do not queftion his Veracity,
nor fquint upon his Sanftity : I only maintain he com-
mands me to be a Protefiunt in England, ai'kl a Papiji at
Rome; to believe Chriit is God in Queen /i?;»'s Court,
and that he is ameer Man in l]\e Sultan's; but he docs
not engage his "Word for Truth of either Side.

Eufeb. And, I fuppofe, he commands you to profefs
IVhiggifm iwlhQ/lmJierdara.Qo^^Q-liouk, ideji, to blend
Faction with Religion, and ihroud Infidelity under Hy-
pocrify : For look you, Sir, you cannot poflibly believe
the Articles of the Church of Rome true, without pro-
nouncing thofe of l\-iQQ\\MXzho^ England falfe : For thefe

are

, The Gentleman Inflru^ed, 3 1 p

are Negatives of the other ; if God commands you to
chop Beliefs with the Chmate, he commands you to play
the Hypocrite on one fide of the Water, which is a
Crime againfl the firft Principles of Reafon, and can no
more be commanded by God, than pradis'd by Man:
For fuch a Behaviour is a Burlefque, a Satyr on all Re-
ligion, and by confequence on the Authar and ObjeSi
oi it.

But again, if God commands me to be a Protejiant
in England, and a Pjpift at Rome ; a T'urk in AJia, and a
Chrijlian'm Europe, he engages his Word for a Falfity;
for the Church of England maintains the Articles of her
Belief were reveal'd ; the Church o^ Rome fays the fame,
in Defence of hers j and the Mnhcmetan Congregation
lays all its Impoftures on Revelation: When therefore
God commands you to be a Protejiant, P apfl^ox Mufful-
■man, he commands you to believe he has reveal'd the
particular Tenets of thefe Se6ls, and confequently avou-
ches for the Truth of them ; for whatever he reveals,
muft be true: So that to oblige you to believe, he has
reveal'd fuch a Point, and to engage his Word for the
Truth of it, is one and the fame thing. Now the par-
ticular Tenets of thefe Churches crofs upon one another,
and therefore all cannot poffibly be true ; whence it fol-
lows that God engages his Authority for a Lye, and pawns
his Veracity for a Falfhood : You fubjeft his Sanitity to
a Weaknefs we all blufh at, though we all commit it, and
even level him with Knights of the Poft,

Moreover, if Chrill be a meer Man^ how can God
command Chriftians to adore him ? And if he be God,
how can he forbid the ''Turks, Ncjlorians^ and Arians, to
pay him Homage due to his Divinity? God can no more
llrip himfelfof his Sovereignty, than of his Being; he
can as foon take a Creature into his Throne, as make o-
ver his Title to Adoration : In a Word, either Man can
offend, or he cannot; if he cannot, let him bid farewel
to all Religions, and take leave of Morality ; let him.
model his Adlions by Epicure, and his Faith by Prota-
goras : But if he can offend, what clafhes more diredily
with' all Laws Natural and Di\^ine, than Idolatry ? If
this fpiritual Inceft be innocent, what can be criminal?
And if God can command fofacrilegiousan Adlion, what
can he forbid ?

Ar'tovijlui

320 ^he Gentleman InjlmBed.

Ar'iovijlm was pinch'd, he faw himfelf in the Toils,
and knew not how to difengage himfelf; his Concern
flew to his Face, and every Pofture fhew'd Uneafinefs,
and Anger. Come, Sir, faid he at laft to Eufebius with
a forc'd Smile, I have miftaken my Errand, I came not
to difpute, but to be merry ; let Arguments give Place
to a Bottle ; it's more fatisfaftory to fee the Bottom of
a Glafs, than of a Queftion, and to drain Bumpers, than
Controverfies j we have run the firft Heat, it's lime to
rub.

Eufeb. You Latitudinarian Gentlemen are ftrange Crea-
tures, you heftor Religion and Piety with fuch a daring
Confidence, when you are out of the reach of an Ad-
verfary, that one would fwear both Senfe and Reafon
had embrac'd your Intereft; but when you receive a
Blow, you retreat to Jefts, you parry againft Proofs
with Railleries, and oppofe Laughter to Reafon. To
be plain, you mifplace your Paflions, you fmile when
you fhould tremble, and laugh when you (hould cry:
Had you any Apprehenfion of a God, you would dread
thofe Flames, that his eternal Juftice has prepar'd below
to burn, not to confume Blafphemies ; thefe hideous
Flights of Prophanenefs and Impiety would be Pain and
Penance to you : You lay fuch defperate Commands to
his Charge, as fit him rather for Contempt than Vene-
ration, and make him more worthy of Horror than
Adoration ; for if your Divinity be orthodox, he abets
Lyes, commands Idolatry, and perfuades Perjury ; and
fo Man's Vices make up the Roll of his Perfedtions, and
wemuft revere in him what all human Laws punifh in
us.

Ariov. You are difpos'd for a touch of Polemicks ;
but if you are above the Laws of Decency and Breeding,
I am not: I refolve not to turn Clown for Company ; I
have too much Refpedl for my Lady to be clamorous in
her Prefence, and think it as genteel to duel, as to dif-
pute before her : Befides, we are upon Theological Nice-
ties, unneceflary to be known by the Learned, and im-
poffible to be underftood by the Vulgar.

Sir, faid the Lady, let no Ceremony break off the
Conference ; we (land not here upon Grimace, or Re-
fervednefs, and though we did, your Defeat will atone
for your Rudenels : To be plain, I am impatient to fee

your

the Gentleman InftruBed, 321

your Vanity ladi'd, your Pride difciplin'd, and yourrho""
domontading Genius penanc'd with Confufion. How of-
tqn in my Houie have you not only made a Pra6lice, but
a Boafl: of Prophanenefs, anJ defended the Crime, hy
committing a greater? You have lampoon'd thofe Gen-
tlemen that durft ftand up in Defence of Religion, and
daub'd them with ine Reproaches of Bigotry and Super-
ftition ; you queftion their Judgments, and dubb'd them
Fools, who would not fwallow down all Religions ; and
blufter'd with ifnpofmg an Aflijrance, as if it were as eafy
to defend Libertinifm, as to abett it. Sir, you are in fight
of an Adverfary, look him in the Face, ftand your
Ground, and defend your Principles, or condemn them'
by an /^ffidavit^ that your Repentance may be as publick
as the Scandal: Your Honour is at Stake, and there is
no Mean between a Vi6lory and an Overthrow.

This iudden Tempeft blown from an unexpe6led Quar-
ter, foon rais'd a Tumult in /^riovijius's Breaft ; Shame,
Anger, and Revenge broke loofe, and fan'd his Refent-
ment to fuch a heighth, that it almoft ftifledhis Reafon.
He roll'd a hundred Thoughts in his Head, and almoft
as many Refolutions, yet he could not fix on any ; to
retaliate was not only unmanly, but alfo uncivil ; for
though a Lady be not below a Man's Anger, fhe is be-
low his Revenge : To break off the Difpute was difho-
nourable, and to baffle Enfebius difficilt; however, at
laft having balanc'd his Fears with his Hopes, he conclu-
ded his Reputation would fufFer lefs by continuing the
Difpute, than flying it : For though Eufebius might foil
him with Reafon, he thought himfelffuperior at Raillery;
which oftentimes even Men of Parts miftake for Wit,
and receive for Reafon. At leafl he had found upon Ex-
perience, thatNoifein Diiputes ftands for Evidence, and
that thofe carry off the Honour of Conqueft in the Opini-
on of the Audience, who fpeak loudeft, not who difcourfe
beft: Thefe Confiderationsfway'd him to accept of a
fecond Engagement ; wherefore turning himfelf firft to
the Lady:

Madam, faid he, I thought I ow*d your Charadler
and Perfon fomc Refpe6l, but feeing you are pleas'd to
forego the Debt, I fhail fupercede the Payment ; I per-
ceive Deference is fometimes u'-r.-'-eDtable, and Civi-
lity clownifn. I will therefore for Ujc future take my»
Y Liberty

32 2 ^^Gentlimai^ Inflru^ed,

Liberty, and never Hand off in Reftraint or Ceremo-
ny.

Then addreffing himfelf to Eufeblus ; Sir, continu'd
he, you mifunderftand me : I mean not that God com-
mands us to conform to the Reh'gion of the State where

" we hve. No, he permits us only ; like the Royal Eagle,
he preys on Hearts; thefe he requires: So that if we love,
.'honour, and obey him, we keep up to the very heighth

, of his Commands. He permits all exterior Ceremonies,

': though vain, fuperftitious, and wicked ; a good Intenti-
on fan6lifies an ill Adtion, and the Uprightnefs of our
Hearts compounds for the terrors of our Worfhip : In
fine. Sir, God looks on all the P'ailures of our Under-

■-ilanding as pure Miftakes, not Crimes; and thofe he can-

' not approve, he pities.

Eufeb. 1 underflood you before, and apprehend you at
prefent: You draw the Thefis into a lefs Compafs, and
turn God's Command into a bare Permiffion; id eft^ I
have driven you from one Retrenchment, and you are
clap'd behind another ; but this is no more liable, than
the firft, and you will be forc'd to furrender. Tell me,
does God permit all Religions ?

Ariov. All that are, or ever were in the World.
Enfeb. All ? That Man certainly deferves Damnation,
that can find no Religion to his Gouft : But do no A6li-
ons outrage Nature ?

Ariovifim made a Paufe, and feem'd at a lofs for an
Anfwer ; he faw what Eufebius drove at, and that he
only coafted the main Qiieftion, to draw him into an
Ambufcade. Sir, faid he, jour Ouxre is captious ; and
though fome are of Opinion, that Virtue and Vice are
rather Names than Things ; yet I condefcend fo far, as
to grant that Murders, Blafphemies, and Adulteries flie
at Nature, and are in a very obvious and literal Senfe
criminal and opprobrious.

Eufeb. God, I fuppofe, permits not thefe unnatural
Abominations; if he has no Punifliments in referve for
fuch profligate Offenders, under-rate Tranfgreffors may
expeft a Recompence.

Ariov. God dilapproves fuch hideous Enormities as
fhame Nature, and even entrench upon Breeding ; they
deferve Hell, and will feel it, unlefs Repentance appeafe
Divine Juftice.

Eufeh.

l^he Gentleman InJlruBed. 323

En^eh. Why then this Permiflion is no more univerfal>
than the Command ; for if God's PermifTion comprehends
not Crimes that alfail Nature, it takes not in thofe Reli-
gions that infult Nature in the very aft of Worfliip. Strike
off the Catalogue, the Religion of the Mexicans^ who
to honour their God, broke through all the natural Laws
of Juftice, and Honefty : For they firft invaded the
neighbouring Provinces with Fire and Sword, and then
ripp'd open the Breafts of twenty thoufand Captives up-
on the facrilegious Altars of their barbarous Divinities,
and by a bloody Metamorphofis turn'd Cruelty into Pie-
ty, and worfhipp'd God, by prophaning Nature.

The Superftition of the Pfrz/t^/tf^j lies open to the fame
Exception : Thefe favage Idolaters dy'd the Earth with
the reeking Gore of human Sacrifices, and polluted theii"
Temples with unnatural Proftitutions ; they train'd up
Youths for that lewd Purpofe, and hallow'd their moft
Religious Rites with the mofl flaming Abominations ;
In a Word, Nature forbids, what their impure Gods
commanded, and human Laws purge with Fire the molt
effential a6ls of their Religion.

If we leave America^ and fliip for Afia^ we fhall meet
with the fame Vices; tho' the People are more civiliz'd,
they are not lefs brutal. The Thracians^ Hum, and P^a?-
mcians worfhip'd their Deities, by worrying their own
Species, and fo built their Piety on Murders and Cruel-
ty. In Africa ihe Sw^^txHiAnonoilYiQCarthagimans v^z%
more formidable than their Arms ; and their Priefts were
more cruel in their Temples, than their Generals in the
Field: They lock'd poor Infants .in the glowing Statues
of Saturn^ and plac'd their Devotion rather in the Tor-
ment, than Death of Innocents. The old Egyptians
drown'd their Reafon in Honour of Mars -, and then
profecuted their Devotions with Clubs and Swords ; and
he was judg'd the moft zealous, who had the leaftof a
Man, and moft of a Butcher.

The Babylonians and Phoenicians defil'd their Temples
with Whoredom and Sodomy. Proftitution always pre-
ceded Marriage ; and thofe Women who refus'd to fhave
their Heads, were doom'd to expofe their Honour, and
to adorn the Temple of Venus with the Spoils of thtir
Chaftity: So that thofe infamous Religions branded Ho-
nefty with Inflimy, they ftigmatiz*d Continence, ennobled
Lewdnefs. Y 2 1. I blufh

:^

3 24 ^he Gentlkman InflruM.

I blufh at the very Thought of the Rites o^yenus the
Corinthian, where Women were ordain'd Priefts by th-
molt fcandalous and outragious Afts of Luft, and confee
crated by Adulteries: They were Strumpets before they
could be qualified for Priefthood, and deferv'd Bridewell
to be fit for the Altar. I fuppofe thefe Religions come
not within the Pale of Permiffion : For how can God
permit thofe Adlions good Men condemn, and" Debau-
chees blufti at ; that ftartle Nature, and confound Wick-
ednefs ? He muft take notice of fuch Enormities, or re-
nounce Sandity ; he muft punifh them, or let fall his
Claim to Juftice : In fine, he muft maintain his Character.
The Atheift who denies God, is lefs criminal than he
who worfhips him with Murders and Fornication.

Ariov. God permits not thofe Religio:^- that affront
Nature, and difcard the firft Principles of Re: ion: When
Temples become Slaughter-houfes, and Priefts Butchers ;
when the Stews are confecrated, and Adulteries cano-
niz'd, it's time to feparate from fuch Congregations.

Eufeb. You found a Retreat : Firft God commanded
to conform to the Religion of the Country where we
■dwell ; then you turn'd his Command into a Permiffion,
and now you reftrain this : Like the Parthsans you fight
in your Retreat, and place your Safety in your Heels.
f3ut this Expedient will not anfwer Expedation ; I have
you in View, and will not leave the Chace, till I have
either run down your Impiety or confounded it. But, Sir,
fuppofe a Montezuma fhould threaten Death, unlefs you
abjur'd Chrift for VitziliputzU^ would not God, on fo
preffing an Occafion, permit you to embrue your Hands
in human Sacrifices ?

Ariov. No Man living In a noble way fears Death lefs
than my felf ; I would come into the World mecrly to
make a handfome Exit ; yet I would not part with my
Life for a Ceremony : My Belief is not untraftahle, it
can bow upon Occafions, and connive at thole things it
does not approve : What is not impious, is always law-
ful ; and therefore i would rather upon an Exigency con-
form, than dye. Tho' I am fure there are Antipodes.^
I would not, like that fooiifli Bifhop, maintain the Truth
at the Expence of my Blood ; this would be tc trifle a-
way Life, and is rather a Demonftration of my Folly,

than of the Roundnefs of the Earth.

Should

fhe Gentleman Injlm^ed, 3 1 j

Should Montexuma command me in his Dominions to
abjure Chrift, I fhould reverence his Orders; for the fu-
preme Magiftrate's Will is the Law of the Subjed : But
whether I might in Confcience efpoufe his Religion is a
Cafe worthy of fome fober Reflections : For Life is a
tender thing; Self-prefervation has Charms, and the un-
experienc'd Condition of Separation is a very lawful Pre-
text to ftay in the World: To be firei or baftinadoed
hence is a painful Operation, and we are not oblig'd to
fuch a troublefome Removal.

Belides, Life, I conceive, was given us for noble Ends,
and therefore we muft not part with it out of a Bravado;
If we disband, and leave our Colours without our great
Mafter's Leave, we (hall pay for our Defertion, and
meet with a worfe Welcome from an angry God in the
next World, than from a barbarous Emperor in this. See-
ing therefore I may give my Heart to God, whilft I of-
fer human Sacrifices to the Mexican idol, I may rather
conform, than die for Difobedience : For he who forces,
commits the Sin, if the Adion be unlawful, not he who
obeys by Compulfion.

The Company ftartled at this flrange Divinity ; Amaze-
ment tied their Tongues, and Horror run through every
Joint. At laft, It's well, cry'd Eufebius^ we have Scrip-
ture to appeal to, other v/ays we might be puzzled by the
Impudence of thofe, who treat Good»efs unhandfomely
by Practice, and unchrillianly by defending their Excefles:
Their Manners are fo bad, that nothing can be worfe but
the Wit and Confidence they employ to excufe them. I
fee, continued Eufehius, you meafure Man's Perfeflions
downwards, and judge him more reafonable, the lefs he
a6ls with Reafon.

You are a Leveller in Morality as well as in Religion,
and make no Diftin6tion between Vice and Virtue; or at
leaft with an extatick Turn of the Heart, you transform
one into the other: This is Direction of Intention with
a Witnefs. A Man that can juggle the moft flagitious
Crimes into Piety, muft be born under a very unfortu-
nate Star to mifcarry. You may dip your Hands in Blood,
plunge your Body into the very Sink of Lewdnefs,
and with a fafe Confcience make over your Soul to the
Devil; an omnipotent Caft of the Heart, reftifies all, a
good Intention atones for a bad one,

Y 3 But

3 16 The Gentleman InJlruBcd,

But why did you juft now exempt from the general
Permiffion of thofe Religions, that in the Ad of Worfhip
affront Nature? For you may turn your Heart to God e-
very jot as well, when your Life is fecure, as when it's
endanger'd ; fo that if Diredlion of Intention falves Con-
fcience on fome Occafions, it may on all : Do oot Mur-
ders, Cruelties, and moft unnatural Lufts turn upon Na-
ture when my Life lies at Stake, as well as when it does,
not? Do they jar with Reafon when I hazard nothing,
and fawn upon it when I rifque All? Certainly Sins of
this black Dye vary not withCircumftances, they change
not their Nature as the Camoeleon floes his Colour ; their
Blacknefs lies in the Complexion, not on the Fancy ;
they are always the fame, id efi^ odious to God, and a-
bominable in the Sight of Men.

You fay Life was given us for noble Ends, and there-
fore mult not be flung away, either in a Pet or Bravado :
It's true, but then what can Imagination frame more
noble, .more fublime, than the Defence of God's Ho-
nour, and our own Nature ? Than to vindicate the juft
Rights and Prerogatives of Virtue from the illegal U-
furpations of Vice ? Thefe Enterprizes are worthy of a
Man ; it's miore glorious to die for fuch a Caufe, than to
conquer in the Field. When we facrifice our Lives for
him who gave them, our Generofity will be pleaded to Ad-
vantage, not only in the next World, but alfo in this. No
Aftion is truly glorious, that is not virtuous ; and there-
fore your Ccefars and Alexanders in fpite of all Trophies
are infamous in the Sight of God; their Temerity is laught
at by the Angels, and their Ambition feverely punifli'd by
the Protestor of Orphans, and juH Avenger of Pupils:
They had nothing great but Pride and Folly ; their Glory
fprung from Plunda*", and their Renown from Slaughter ;
butif they deferve Praife for ranficking Cities, for over-
turning Kingdoms, and invading Empires, we may make
Panegyricks of Plagues, raiie triumphal Arches to Fa-
mines, and eredt Statue^ to Hurricans, and Inundations;
In a Word, we live meerly to ferve God ; this is our End,
and a noble One: Palfion indeed, or Difcontent, are ill
Difeafes to die of, but then Libertinifm is a dangerous
Motive to live : Our Dilbbedience is no lefs criminal,
when we refufe to quit our Poll upon Command, than
when we abandon it without Order : We are difcharg'd

of

fhe Gentleman Injfru^ed, 327

of the Duty of Living, when we muft purchafe Breath at
the Expence of Confcience ; and certainly we forfeit In-
nocince, when we commit, or abett Murders or Adulte-
ries ; and by confequence, a Man muft part with Life,
when we cannot keep it without Treafon againft Nature,
and Rebellion againft its Author.

But, I fuppofe, the noble End you propofe to your
felf, is to fpin out Life, as long as the Thread will reach j
to ftretch Nature to its utmoft, and not to venture one
fingle Pulfe, but upon good Security of Pleafure: Y~ou
had rather fpend it in the Service of Fckus than of Vir-
tue ; rather confume by Inches, and pafs through a Courfe
of Phyfick, or a Sweating-Tub into the next World,
than to be well one Moment, and dead the next : If you
call this a noble End, you will be at a Lofs to aflign an
infamous one : In fhort, you are relaps'd into your firft
Error, and only defend it with a new-found Extrava-
gance : The Amendment is ridiculous, and impious into
the Bargain.

Arioviftus hw he had fpokehis Mind too frankly, be-
fore an Audience unacquainted with fuch Libertine Prin-
ciples, and therefore he very nicely confefs'd, he had hi-
therto play'd the Fool. Sir, faid he to Eufebius, though
fome abett the Dodtrine I have deliver'd, yet it difpleafes
me : I cannot clofe with fuch wild Ideas of Religion, and
rather propos'd 'em as a Jeft than a Truth : I cannot
commit a Crime to fave my Skin, nor even purchafeLife
at the Price of Murder, or Adultery ; and therefore I
freely grant, that thofe Religions that enjoy Abominati-
ons in their Rituals and Liturgies^ are out-dated, and ex-
empted from the general Permiflion.

Eufeb. 1 muft own you have made a handfome Retreat ;
you have given a pretty Turn to a monftrous Principle ;
but for the future, pi-ay remember, that to blafpheme in
jeft, is to fin in earneft. All other Religions at leaft are
ftanch, are they not? I put this Queftion to avoid Mi-
Hakes, for we have been to Day upon the Blunder.

Ariov. They are.

Eufeb. Remember your Conceffion, for by and by we
fhair difcard all the idolatrous Worfliips of the Old
World, together with thofe of the New : The Roman,
Grecian^ and old AJfyrtan Polytheifm, will no more pafs
Mufter, than that of /!/fA-;Vo, or Peru-, Jupiter .Apollo,
Y 4 Man,

32S ^he Gentleman Inftru^ed.

Mars^ Jufio^ and Minerva^ will be kick'd cut of their
Temples, as well a VitzHipuizH. Will God be wor-
Ihip'd as an eternal Being, or as a Creature ; as Ratio-
nal, or Irrational ; as infinitely Holy, or as an Adulter-
er, Drunkard, or Murderer ?

Arioviflui faw the Drift of this Q^.icere^ and was at a
ftand for a handfome Anfwer ; he perceiv'd himfelf en-
compafs'd on all Sides, and knew not which way to
evade the Danger : To fay God requires to be honour'd,
as a Being infinitely Holy^ infinitely U-'ife, Eternal and
Independent^ was to give up the Caule without Dif-
pute, and to acknowledge himfelf foil'd before the Com-
bat : On the other Side, he durft not venture to affirm,
God is content to be worfhip'd as a Creature, an Adulte-
rer, or a Murderer ; he thought fuch hideous Abfurdities
would grate upon the Ears of his Auditors, unaccuftom'd
to Blafphemies, and ill-difpos'd to hear them with In-
dignation.

The Gentleman that came with him, faw his Concern,
and refolv'd to difingage his Friend from thcEmbarrafs;
wherefore (turning himfelf to EufebiHi) the Anfwer, faid
he, to your Qiicere, in my Opinion is obvious : God
requires that Worlhip which correfponds to the natural
Knowledge we have of him ; now Nature tells me, he
is a Being Eternal, Indepe^idcnt^ infinitely IVife^ and in-
finitely Holy, therefore God commands us to adore him
under this Notion.

Eufeb. You have brought the Controverfy to the very
Point I defir'd, and have utterly defeated yom- Friend's
Syftem: For if God muft be ador'd as Eternal^ Indepen-
dent, infinitely Wife, infinitely Holy, had I been at Rome
in the Reign of 'Jupiter, Apollo, Mercury, &c. I could
not have believed nor talked of God as the Romans did ;
much lefs had it been lawful in Egypt to adore an Onion,
an Ox, a Crocodile, or a Hippopotamus ; for thefe Crea-
tures have no Perfedion, that comes near thofe noble At-
tributes of Eternity and Independence.

Saturn was Jupiters Father, Juno his Sifter, fo that
their Nativity muft fall infinitely fnort of Eternity; it's
of a very frelhDate, of a iaie Edition, and younger than
Time : They had a Father, and therefore are depen-
dent; their Sandity keeps pace with their Eternity:
Jupiter firft; welter'd in his Father's Blood, and then

ufurp'ci

the Gentleman InJiruBed, 325)

wtop'd his Kingdom ; fo that he rather deferv'd to be
flung into the Tybur with a Cock and a Serpent, than to
be feated in the Capitol ; and the Gemonu-e better fuited
V/ith his Crimes, than an Altar. Juno was a Mtj's^ even
to her Brother, and as infamous for Scolding, as her In-
ceft ; fhe deferv'd at leaft a Houfe of Correction for the
.firft Crime, and a Ducking-ftool for the fecond. Mer-
mry was a Jack of all Trades \ fometimes he play'd the
Piper ^ fometimes the Sharper ; he turn'd Poft-Boy upon
Occafions, and then Cut-Furfe : And to fhew the World
he could ftoop to the bafeft Crimes, as well as the meaneft
Employments, he fets up for a Pimp^ a Pander^ and Pro-
curer. Apollo may be faid to be better than his Father, only
becaufe he was not quite fo bad : His Amours were with-
out Number, as they were without Shame : The Hea-
then Theology feems to have drawn in this Perfon the Fi-
gure of a perfeft Beau ; for it allow'd him fome Wit,
more Beauty, a World of Impudence, but no Confci-
ence. Thefe were Divinities of the firft Clafs^ majorum
Gentium, Gods of Quality and Figure, in fine, of the
Upper-Houfe ; and yet Partiality it felf would not have
clear'd them at any Bar : I except the Right of Ignoramus
Juries, when Crimes found Mercy, and Innocence Hal-
ters, The Egyptian Deities, Ofyris and Anubis, were of
the fame Stamp; they were neither better, nor more an-
cient, than thofe of Rome and Greece.

Now, Sir, if God commands us to worfhip him as an
eternal and independent Being, we cannot clap in with a
Roman, Grecian, or Egyptian Congregation ; nay, nor
with any idolatrous one, that is, or ever was in the
World : For they tell us, God is a Man, a IVoman, a
Snake, a Tree, a Crocodile, and a Red-Cloth ; but it's evi-
dent thefe poor Creatures can claim no Right to Eternity,
much lefs to Independence ; therefore had I liv'd in thefe
blind Ages, when Serpents crawl'd upon Altars, and
Monfters inva^ded Temples, I could not proftrate my felf
before them ; I muft have protefted againft the Impiety,
and rather have fallen by the Magiftrate's Hand, than
have paid Obedience to his Law.

Again, God will be worfhip'd as infinitely Holy ; how
then can you fall proftrate before an inceftuous Jupiter.,
a thieving Mercury, a bloody Mars, a peevifh Juno, or
a proftitute Ff^a; ? Such Crimes entertain no Commerce

with

with Sandity ; their place is Hell, not Heaven, and the-
Criminals rather deferve Infamy and Tortures, than A-
doration. Does he adore God as infinitely Holy, who
acknowledges him guilty of Inceft, Murther, Felony,
and even of thofe Oflences, that night and ftartle Na-
ture? That put to the Blufh, not only the Modefty of
the Innocent, but alfo the very Impudence of the
Guilty ? In fine, that infed Hell, and plague the Dam-
ned ? •

Moreover, God requires to be honour'd as a Beifjg w-
finitely IV'tfe ; by what Rule therefore can you, with thofe
of Coromand?}, fay and believe he is an Ape ? With the
Romans^ Grecians, and all the other idolatrous People of
the World, he is a Man^ a Statue ? or with the fuper-
ftitious Egyptian^ he is an Onion^ a Wolf, a Crocodile ?
Some of thefe fantaftical Deities are even void of Senfe,
much more of Reafon ; and the Men-Divinities have
left Pofterity no other Marks of their Reafon, but their
Crimes : We know they had fome Wit, by the enormous
Abufes of it ; their Wifdom had a fmall Reach, it w-ent
no farther, than to lay Snares for fond Boys, or forfim-
ple Girls: Seeing therefore all the idolatrous Worfhip
that ever was in the World, fince the Birth o^Polytheifm
to this very Moment, clafhes with thofe Notions" under
which God will be adored, you can no more join with
any idolatrous Congregation, than with its Crimes. It
remains therefore, that God's Permiflion is no more uni-
verfal, than his Command ; and though at firft you were
pleas'd to extend it to all Religions except two or three,
you muft now turn the Tables, and exclude all but two
or three. So that to conclude, that great Principle, we
muft conforr/i to the Religions oj' thofe Countries where we
live, is not only notoriouHy falfe, but alfo fcandalous to
Extravagance.

Ariov. You fancy I am run a-ground, and that you
have wounded my Principles beyond Recovery ; but ftay,
you have been upon the Ramble, and miftaken-your
Way: You reafon upon a falfe Bottom ; for you fup-
pofe Heathens worfliipp'd Creatures, and paid Homage
to Statues ; whereas moft certainly they ador'd the true
God under thofe fenfible Refemblances ; nor can you
reafonabiy prcfume they worfliip'd Men^ Statues^ or Beafls,
iinlefs you fuppofe them Fools, to make them impious. I

might

fhe Gentleman Injlru^ed, 331

might then with a fafe Confcience adore "Jupiter^ Apollo^
and Venui at Rome^ and would now (were I in the In-
dies) bend before Ram^ or in Japan before Zncas ; for
thefe vifible Objefts are but dark Emblems, or different
Yi2iVnt^ oi God blejfed for evermore. Tho' therefore God
commands me to adore him, as eternal, independent, in-
finitely Holy, and infinitely V/ife, he has not determin'd
under what Name ; tho' v/e call him Jupiter, Mars, or
Apollo, he fcorns to formalize ; if Ram, Zacas., or Amidas,
he will not pet: A great Name adds not a Grain to his
Perfeftions, nor can a vulgar Appellation diminifh them.
In fine, Reafon teaches us his Nature, but his Name we
learn from Cuftom, and this will vary till you bring all
Languages to their primitive Unity ; lb that, methinks,
you have all this *.vhile skirmiili'd with a Shadow, or
fenc'd with a Nothing : You have rais'd a fottifh Idola-
try in your Brain, meerly to deftroy it ; but great Wits
often miflake the Queftion, as well as great Blockheads :
Like ill-bred Spaniels, they run at Check on a falfe Scent;
flufli their own Fancies for their Adveifaries Opinion,
and cry Vidory, when they have handfomely lafh'd their
own Errors.

Eufeh. Becaufe jufl now I put you in Mind of fome
Miftakes, and cenfur'd feverely a Vein of fhuffling that
runs through all your Difcourfe, you very fairly cruife
for Reprilals, and would fain bring me in guilty of the
fame Over-iight, I have legally prov'd upon you. Believe
me, Sir, I have not caper'd in the Air: I aim'd at your
Principle, and have hit it ; and you are fenfible enough I
am come up to the very Point in Debate, and fo ftart a
new Queftion, either to entangle me, or to delude the
Audience. But I intend not to wade far in this Contro-
verfy, whether the Pagans adored the true God under the
Shape of Jupiter, Apollo, l^c. Dodlor Stillin. maintain'd
they did, but all impartial Men wifh'd he had employ'd
his Talents on a more defenfible Subjedt; for certainly
his Reputation fuffer'd in the Enterprize, and he had
fhew'd more Judgment in ftepping over fo nice a Point,
than he did Wit, in treating it fo little to the Purpofe.

However, becaufe you have flung this Difficulty in my
Way, I muft take fome Notice of it; not that the IfTue
of our prefent Difpute depends on the Decifion of this
Queftion ; but becaufe I am relblv'd to give you full

Satis-

:j3a ^^s Gentleman InfrtiBel

Satisfaiiion, I fay then, That the Heathens did not adore
the true God^ under the Name of Jupiter, Mars, Apollo,
l^c. and this is fo manifeft a Truth, that a Man muft
Ihut his Eyes to overlook it : Di't non fuerunt ab atemo^
fd ita eorum quifquis natus eft ut nosnafcimur. T'our Gods
(lays Athenagoras to the Gentiles) are not eternal^ they
vj'^'f: ^11 hnrn. as we are : And Min.Ftelix laughs at the
Pag.uii -oi '.i->ring thole as Gods, who were born and
died like Men : Manifeftum eft homines illos fuiJJ'e^ quos
^ natos iegimuSy ^ mortuosfcimus. St. Cyprian de Idol.
Van. proves they were not Gods, becaufe they have been
Kings. Deos non ejfe^ quos colit Vulgus hinc Ttbttim eft :
Reges enim fuerunt : And when fome Gentiles (to delude
thofe Chrillian Arguments they could not anfwer) had
the Impudence to deny they worfhip'd any Man, Amobi-
us confutes their wretched Evafion, and proves home up-
on them, they really adore Men, though they blufhed to
own the Folly, lib. ii. cont. Gent. Vos hominem nullum
celitis ? Non unum vel aitum ? Non innumeros alios ? Quin
imo non omnes^ quos in Templis veftris mortalium fuftuli^
fiis ex numero^ ^ coelofideribufque donaflis ? Et infra jam
frofedo difcetis quibus finguli fatribus ^ quibus matribus fu-
erint procreati ; qua inregione nati^ qua gentCy qutc fece-
rint, egerint^ pertulerint. But to put an end to the Con-
troverfy, take a Turn to the Capitol, and you will fee
what Opinion the Pagans had of 'Jupiter, qui ejus nutri-
cem in Capitoli pojuerunt^ who plac'd his very Nurfe,
Wife, Sifter, and Daughter in this auguft Temple. I
i^iight here bring a Cloud of Witnefles, who liv'd and
convers'd with Heathens, who ftudied their prophane
Theology to confute it ; who were Men of Learning and
Probity, and never calumniated an Adverfary to opprefs
him: But what Ii>:ivc faid fuffices to convince a rational
Man, that the Pag?.:.3 adore Creatures, not the Creator,
under borrow'd NatriCS as you pretend.

Ariov. Indeed the Vulgar might pofTibly miftake the
Fabl»s of Homer for Articles of Religion, and model
their Faith by .P:;Ilads; they might divide God into Sex,
and worfhip A*; .r. and V7omen before Statues their Re-
prcfcntatives; but you rnuft grant this grofs Impiety con-
cern'd only the Rabble, the Philofophersand leading Men
were above fuch an Abfurdity,

Etifeh.

The G Emr L E M A N Injiru[led, 3 3 3

Eufeh. No doubt the Philofophers condemn'd in thei^
Hearts thofe very Deities they ador'd ; but their Praftice
varied from their Judgment ; and tho' they were Theifts
in the Schools, they were Polytheifts in the Temples.
God was not worfliip'd according to the Ideas of Philofo-
phers, but of Poets, ^uid Jibi vult ifta non poeticafed
inimica plane Varictas^ Deos fecundum Philofophos in I'lbris
quarere^ [ectmdum Poetas in tewplis adorare. ^ug. lib. 2.
deConfen. Evan, Cap, 23. And if you doubt of this, I
muft delire you once more in St. /iufiin^s Name to enter
into the Capitol ; this was the Seat ofjpipiter, 0. M. id
^/?, of Rome's lupream God. Here you will find Amal-
thcea a Goat^ M'ho nurs'd this Diety, his Sifter, Wife and
Daughter j evident Arguments the Romans thought he
was a Man to whom they paid fupream Honour : For if
they thought he was eternal, why gave they him a
Nurfe? If independent, why did they confefs he ow'd
his Prefervation to Goat's Milk ? And then, if he were
not a Man, what did he with a Wife; or how came
he by a Daughter ? Do not tell me, thefe are poetical
Inventions ; I know they are : But thefe Fableiswere ex-
pos'd by the heathen Divines, and cull'd out of Poems
to piece up Religion ; they were abfurd, it*s true, yet
believ'd by lome, and reverenc'd by all. In fine, if Poets
invented them, the Prielb adopted 'em ; they were con-
vey'd from the Stage to the Temple by Blindnefs and
Superftition, and what Men laugh'd at in one place, they
adored in the other. Nunquid ^ Capitolia RomanorHYn
opera fimt Poetarum ? Augufl^ Lib. 6. de Civ. Dei.

But if we fuppofe againil Scripture, againft the Au-
thority of Pagans themfelves, and the concurrent Tefti-
monies of Ages, that the Heathens did adore the fu-
pream God blejfcdfor evermore ; this will not better your
Caufe, nor prejudice mine: For ftill it's as clear as
plain Fa6tcan make a Thing, that when they worfhip'd
him under the Shape o^'Jupiter^ they cjap'd upon his infi-
nite Sandtity Rapes and Adulteries ; they impeach'd him
of Robberies under the Notion of Mercury^ of Cruelty
under that of Mars.^ t^c. Nay, they ftrip'd him of all
Wifdom under the Figures of Beafts, and even of Senfe
under thofe of (^»;o»x. Fire, and li'^ater. If therefore we
are oblig'd to adore God as a Being Eternal, Independent,
infinitely Holy ^ and infinitely Wife ; you could not believe

nor

534 r^^ G £ N T L E M A N liiJiru^leL

nor worfhip God, as the old Heathens did, nor can you
go over to any P<2^a» Society that now is, either in the
Eaji ox Weft-Indies : For tho' they do worfliip the true
andinvifible God, under vifible and material Images, yet
they charge him with a thoufand Impertinences, deftru-
6live to t'hofe Notions under which he commands Wor-
fhip. So that we muft reform yo\ix Thefts^ and dafli out
of the univerfal PermifTion, not only two or three, but
two or three thoufand Religions eftablifli'd in the World
by Cuftom, and maintain'd by all the Supports of Force
and Authority : For they outrage Nature, and burlefque
God's nioft facrcd Attributes ; they rifle his Majefty,
entrench upon his Wifdom, afperfe his Sandity, and
turn his very Being into Farce and Raillery.

ArioviftHS was at a 'Nonplus, and his Concern flew to
his Face : Nay, his ufual Confidence withdrew, and
even Raillery, and lafl: Defence of Libertines, deferted
him ; fo that he made a Figure worthy of Laughter and
Gompaflion : At laft he relblv'd to gain -Time for Refle-
xion, and therefore addrefling himfelf to the Lady ;
Madam, faid he, I have almoft talk'd my felf out of
Breath, an Hour's refpite will not beunfeafonable; with
your leave, we will put off" the Conclufion till the Even-
ing.

Upon Condition, anfwer'd the Lady, you'll return
to the Conference, or condemn your Principle.

Ariov. I'll be bound for my Appearance, or if you ask
better Security, my Friend, I prefume, will give in Bail
for my forth-coming : Then turning himfelf lo Eufebius ;
we are, continu'dhe, in the Pit, and muft fight it out:
There is no place left for Retreat. Leaving the Compa-
ny, he walk'd into the Garden, rather to conceal hisC^^-
grin, than to take the Air : And indeed I wonder not at
his Concern ; for it's obferv'd, that tho' Libertines hate
Confcience, they are fond of Honour ; they are Crea-
tures made up of Pride and Arrogance, and therefore
neither know how to bear an Advantage with Modera-
tion, nor a Difappointment with Patience.

When he was gone, I am furpriz'd, faid the Lady, at
the Gentleman's Confidence; furely his Aflurancevi'eighs
more than his Judgment; why elfe will he bring his
Caufe to another Hearing? I love not to laugh at ano-
ther Man's Misfortune, nor to draw Pleafurc from his

Con-

^he Gentleman InJIruBe^, 3 35

Confufion : But, m^thinks, I cannot be forry to fee Ir-
reliiion punifli'd in its grand Protedtor : Humiliations
work more on a Libertine's Underftandin§, than Demon-
llration ; and thofe that cannot be argu'd out of loofe
Principles, are fometimes fiiam'd out of them.
■ Were the, Virtue of Arioriftus equal to his Wit, faid
his Friend, nothing can be more accomplifh*d than he;
but I muft own, his Morals are bad, and his Principles
worfe : He laughs at the difference between Good and
Evil ; and I have heard him fay, No Si>i is bbcker, than
the very thi'/ikiKg there is any ; nay^ he defines Sin^ a thing
thatfome live by inveighing againjt, and others by pra^if-
ing. And hence it is, that he not only makes a Pradice,
but a boaft of Sin, and defends it with as much Greedi-
nefs as he commits it.

Eiifeb. But, Sir, tho' fuch Men carry off the Reputa-
tion of Wit, they have too little of the Man, to be the
Standard of Mankind ; we are not, God be thank'd.
Fools enough to take Scoffs for Arguments, nor Raillery
for Reafon : He is a great Ignoramus^ who knows not
that it's eafier to fport with Virtue, than to praftife it ;
indeed, if Ariovifius could jell Sin into Nothings his
Mirth would not be unreafonable ; but the wild Humour
of a Debauchee, cannot work upon the Nature of things:
Wit may dive into Eflences, but not tranfmute them.
However, I hope to reafon the Gentleman out of Conceit
both of his Wit and Religion, and to perfuade him that
thofe are Fools who fport themfelves into Hell ; and
that none more certainly do fo, than thofe who make a
Jeft of Sin, and a Pageant of Religion: For tho' a Man
who dares defy God, and look Damnation in the Face,
may be witty, I am fure he is fuperlatively foolifh.
EudoxHs was no lefs mortify'd than Ariovijlns. He was
not indeed concern'd at his Difgrace; no, he rather felt
Symptoms of Indignation than of Pity ; and wifh'd he
had defended his Pojl with greater Bravery, or render'd
it with more Ignominy : For having been deluded by
Ariovijius, he thought the Weajcnefs of his Defence
■would glance upon his own Reputation, and that the
World would tax him of Levity, or Simplicity, for em-
bracing Latitudinarianifm upon fo weak Grounds. One
would fwear, faid he in a Paflion, thefe A-Ien by their
Talk had engrofs'd all the Wit of the Nation, as well

as

^^6 T'h Gentleman InJJmBed.

^s the Vices ; yet bring them to the Touchftone, ajtid
you'll find nothing but Drofs ; they argue as ill as they
believe, and areas great Strangers to Reafon, as to Virtue ;
they difpute no more methodically than they live, and
are as weak in Principle, as violent in Paflion. Eudoxus
was going on, when Dinner put an end to his Invedive.
Arioviftm had not walk'd away his Refentment, he brought
it to Table, and even difcover'd it by endeavouring to
conceal it : He run up Pleafantry to Affedation, and
made himfelf ridiculous not to appear in a Paflion : So
that the Lady told him with a Smile, He was merry out of
Vexation \ hnl Ario'viftus let the Compliment fall, think-
ing it the bell way to connive at a petty Aftront he durft:
not revenge, and fo they enter'd upon a Converfation of
indifferent Subjeils.

DIALOGUE XIL

Ariovillus is forc'd to coafefs, that one only Religio}^
is favi}3g.

np H E Lady invited the Company into the Garden af-
-*• ter Dinner : She was impatient to fee the IlTue of
the Difpute, which fhe hop'd would prove difadvantage-
ous to Arioviftus : Nay, the Morning Succefs had not
only allay'd her Fears, but even given her an Afilirance,
that Truth would triumph over Falfity, and Religion
over Impiety; befides,fhe flatter'd herfeli", her Son would
profit by Arioviftui's Misfortune, and defert thofe Tenets
his Mafter was not able to defend ; for he was diifatisfied
with the Morning's Performance, and the Abilities of
jlrioviftHS came not up to his Expectation : He faw him
always upon the Retreat, and that he rather fliuffled than
argued ; he fcarce durft look an Argument in the Face,
and though he fometimes fenc'd off Blows, he never gave
any : In fine, he turn'dfhort upon himfelf, and generally
confuted one Reply by the Contrariety of the other ; fo
that Eudoxus fufnpt^ed the Caufe of Arioviftus was no
better than the De'ence of it, and that he pleaded it,
becaufe li: was deftitule of Reafon.

After

fhe Qektleman InpruBeL 337

After a Turn or two in the Garden, the Lady lea-
ding the Company into an Arhor^ methinks, faid fhe
to Artov'tflus^ this Place was made for Converfation ;
we have both Time and Convenience to give a fe-
cond Hearing: You are I am fure a Gentleman of your
Word.

Ar'iov. Madam, I delire nothing more : Let us then,
continu'd he, turning himfelf to Eufebius, begin where we
broke off this Morning: Be pleas'd, Sir, to remember, I
call before you a Scheme of thofe Religions that are
A-la-mode among our young Town-Sparks. Some are fo
amazingly irrehgious, as to turn Religion into a Trick of
State; they fay it's a Slave to Government, and cannot
oblige till it pailes into Law, but then it's binding, tho*
never fo execrable.

Others retrench from this Command, thofe Religions
that welter in Blood, and flame with Proftitution ; fuch
Religions, they fay, are fram'd for Cyclops^ and calcu-
lated for Sodom and Gomorrha : A Man muft turn a Ly-
on, or Baboon, to pradtife the Duties of fuch Churches,
and a Devil to command 'em ; wherefore they ftigma-
tize the Believers of fuch fcandalous Tenets, and throw
both the Credenda and Agenda out of the Pale of God's
Permiflion : But then, a few excepted, all others, they
fay, are allow'd of ; a good Intention redlifies their Er-
rors, and even compounds for Idolatry its felf ; it per-
fuades God to wink at Impiety, and to take Affront for
Veneration. This is, no doubt, to trefpafs upon his
Goodnefs, to make bold with his Greatnefs, and to treat
his Majefty with Scorn and Contempt.

The Company fmil'd, and admir'd no lefs the Gentle-
man's Confidence, than the Contrivance ; by this little
Artifice, he very handfoniely heav'd the Shame of the De-
feat from himfelf to thofe young Sparks, whofe Perfua-
Jion he pretended to defend : But the Impofture lay too
open to trepan the Company, for he difputed not as Se-
cond, hut zs Principal; and pleaded hisownCaufe, not
others : But thofe Men are above the Niceties of Honour,
or Pundtilio'sof Confcience.

Eufebiiis knew not well how to model his Countenance,
he was both tempted to laugh, and to frown ; for the
Turn was witty, tho' impudent. At laft, Sir, faid he to
ArioviJir^Sj I thought you had undertaken the Defence of

Z your

33^ The Gentleman Injh^u^ed.

j'our own Religion, not oVJ ohn nn Oakes , I love not to
encounter lieprejentatives ^v>or to engage with Corporations
by Proxy. However, I am glad you have chang'd Sides,
and left the Poji of an Advocate for that of an Accufer ;
we have at laft made fome Progrefs: For now it's agreed
on, that in fpight of Mr. Hohbs and his Profelytes, the
Laws of Common-wealth mull nut be the Standard of
our Faith ; that God permits not, much lefs commands
us, to convene with thofe Congregations in Religion,
that countenance Impieties ; in fine, that Idolatry in-
vades God's Right, ftrikes at his Prerogative, and draws
upon his very Perfon : So that in Conclufion, thofe Reli-
gions that are permitted take up but little room, and may
be caft up witiiout the help o^ Arithmetick: Now, Sir,
favour us with a Dfaught of your Tenets.

Ariov. With all my Heart, I neither blufh to acknow-
ledge my Religion, nor fear to defend it : It's upright in
its Principles, and reafonable in the Application : It's fit-
ted for all Capacities: The Peafant comprehends it, and
the Philofopher admires it: In a word, my Religion is,
what Men call Nattiral : It's of the fame Date with our
Nature, and came into tlie World with Adam : God
printed every Article of it in our Hearts, before the In-
vention of the Prefsy and it's propagated by Generation :
We carry our Golpel and Prophecies v/i thin us,which can
neither be corrupted by Malice, Ignorance, or Inadver-
tency. Our Creed is plain, and our Decalogue fhort, but
comprehenfive. We believe a God, Maker of Heaven and
Earth ', a God that punijhes Vice^ and rewards Virtue ; he
recjuires no Sacrifice but of our Hearts , no Refped, but Awe
of his Grandeur, and Obedience to his Commands ; nor does
his Law put any Precept upon us but this^ Do as you
■would be done by.

This Religion is univerflil ; it's neither confin'd to
Time, nor Place; it takes in all Ages, and runs thro' all
Climates ; it obliges the moil occult Nations of the
World, together with the moft polite ; and becaufe all
know its Precepts, no Man is exempted from their Obe-
dience: Yet it permits thofe Rites and Ceremonies, the*
vain and fuperrtitious, which clafli not with the above-
mention'd Tenets : But the very Moment a Religion
coins an Article, oppofite to the Belief of a God, or con-
fraryto the Attributes of his Sandity, Wifdom, and Ju-

ftice,

\,

"he Gentleman InftruBed. 3 3^9

ftice, or Mercy, when it rr-fufes to this all-powerful Be-
ing an Acknowledgment of Dependence, and "withal re-
verfes this great Law of Nature, Quod tibi non vis fieri
fi.lteri ne fecerii ; I fay, the Moment a Religion falls into
fuch bare-fac'd Impieties, it becomes facrilegious and a-
bominable: And for this Reafon, I extend God's Permif-
iion to three only Religions, the Cbrijlian, yewijh, and
Mahometan ; for thefe alone ftand upon the Law of Na-
ture J they inftill molt excellent Principles, and regulate
our Duty to God, and our Obligation to Men.

Eufeb. Do you fpeak your own Thoughts? I put the
Queftion for a Caution againft Miftakes, for we have
play'd away the Morning at crofs Qtieftions.

Ariov. It's my Opinion, and will Hand the mod fe-
vere Teft of Reafon ; nothing material can poflibly be
brought againft it.

Eufeb. For all that, I hope to banilh two of the three
Religions out of the Permillion ; nay, and force you to
confefs, there are no more Religions than Gods. A Man,
you fay, may commence a Jew, when he has taken
Pet at Chrift'.anity, and change Baptifm for Circumcifi-
"on ; and when he has taken a Surfeit of the Talmud, he
may piouily ftrike off to Meccha, and truck the PeKia-
tench for the /Alcoran.

yiriov. He may.

Eufeb. With a fafe Confcience, therefore, in England
we may believe Chrifl is the true Mefjias, born of a Vir-
gin, true God, and true Man, who dy'd'for our Sins,
and was butcher'd by our Malice ; but when we have
given up our Nmies to a Rabbin, and are adopted into
one of the Tribes, we may change Language, and as
fafely protell the Meffias is yet to come.} that Chriilis a
meer Man, nothing different from others, but that he was
more criminal ; that he uy'd for his own Offences, not
for ours ; that Juftice took him off, not Envy : V/e may
believe thefe Tenets, and Iwear to the Truth of every
Tittle. The Chrillian engages God's Authority for the
Truth of his Creed, the Jew takes the fame Liberty ; yet
one Side jars with the other. Here is a down-right Con-
tradiilion, nor can all the Artifice ofLogick, all the Power
of the Almighty reconcile both Sides. If the Chriluan be
in the right, the Jew is ih the wrong; and if Truth ftands
for he Jew, it muff of Ncceffity abandon the Chrillian.

540 '^he GENTtEMAN InftruBecl

Ariov. You have Reafon, but becaufe I know not
which Side Truth favours, I may join w^ith either.

Eufeb. Suppofing your Pretenlions grounded, you can-
not take both Sides ; for tho' you are ignorant vf\th.
which Party Truth fides, you are fure it can't ftand for
both : So that tho' in your Hypothefis you may either be
Jew or Chriftian, you can't be both fucceflively : If you
fwear to the Chriftian Symbol to day, and to the Jewifli
to morrow, you are perjur'd beyond aU peradventure ;
for you know, the Tenets of thefe two Churches don't
nick hke Tallies.

But this is not all, continu'd Eufehius, if God permits
me to Jake up with the Brethren of the Clrcumcifion,
he permits me to refufe Worfhip to Jefus Chrift ; nay, to
blafpheme him: If I may turn off to the Chriftians, he
permits me to adore him. Now either he is God, or he
is not: If the Second, I muft not adore him, for tho*
God be Matter of his Favours, he is not of his Honour ;
he can't make this over to any Creature by a Deed of
Gift, or Conveyance ; tho' he be eternal, like a Minor ^
he can't alienate the Title : But again, if Chrift be God,
certainly he requires Adoration as an indifpenfable Duty,
and if we fail to difcharge our felves of the Obligation,
God will not fail to punifli our Negleft.

Moreover, God can't, you fay, permit thofe Offences
that Nature condemns ; his Prerogative-Royal reaches
not fo far : Now what can intrench more upon Nature,
than to inveft a Creature with the Title to a Worfliip
which God alone can claim a Ridit to ? Than to with-
draw my Allegiance from the Creator of all Things, and
bow to my Fellow-Creature ? Yet God permits Chrifti-
anity on the one Side, and on the other it's flat Idolatry
to adore Chrift if he be only Man ; therefore if Chrift be
only Man, God permits Idolatry, idejl^ a ,S in of the
Ihigheft. Malice againft the very firll Principle of Nature :
It's then as evident that one of thefe Religions is forbid,
as that one is meer Practice and Impofture ; and it's as
manifeft, that one is Pra6tice and Tmpofture, as that both
Members of a Contradiction can't pollibly be true.

Ariov. Were I fure that Chrift was God, I fhould lie
under an indifpenfable Obligation of adoring him ; I
muft then adhere to Chriftianity, and if Occafion re-
quir'd, fign my Faith with my Blood: And were I fure

he

The Gentleman lnpru5ied, 341

he was Man alone, I ought to'wheel off from xht Church
to a Synagogue^ and exchange the Go/pel for the Talmud:
But I am in the dark, I rove in Obfcurity, and cannot
determine for which Rehgion Truth Hands: In this Un-
certainty God permits me to clap in with either ; my
Ignorance juftifies his Permillion, and my Choice; and
though by refufing to adore Chrift, I may not do him
Right, Ignorance hinders me from doing him Wrong :
Thus tho' the Jews deprive him of his due, if he be
God, and the Chriftians give more than his due, if he be
not ; yet their Sin can be only material, that is, without
Malice, and confequently without Offence ; feeing nei-
ther Religion is impious in its Worfhip, and both excel-
lent in their Precepts of Morality, it's clear we may fol-
low either.

Eufeb. Never did Men talk more of Religion than we,
and never had Men lefs. To level Judaifm with Chri-
flianity, even in a Chriftian, nay, a reform'd Kingdom, is
one of the moft monftrous Attempts that ever I heard of:
The very Thought of fo bold a Blafphemy almoft calls
me into an Agony, and makes me I'weat with Difguft:
This is to raife a Crofs for our blelTed Redeemer in Chri-
ftendom^ as the Jews did in yerufalem, to play upon his
Goodnefs, to reviie his Greatnefs, and to falute him with
a Crucifige: But what will not Men do to fupport a dying
Caufe, who have nothing left, but If^ill and Forehead ?
Your Religion, Sir, is not calculated up for rjoo, but
for 1642, or thereabouts, when the Ten Commandment i
w,txt only authentick during Pleafure, when the four E-
•vangelifts were upon their Behaviour, with a quamdiufe
bene gejferint, and a nemine contradicente, not the Bible^
govern'd the Pulpit : In fine, your very Defence of Reli-
gion ftrikes at Religion, and whilft you approve either,
you fairly condemn both ; for you pretend both the Jew-
ifn and Chriftian Religion are permitted, becaufe you
doubt of both, and know not on which fide Truth
Hands : Now fuppofing you are in fuch Circumftances,
it's evident you can't in Confcience embrace either;
for which Side foever you take, you fear you are in the
wrong: Now whofoever fquares his Adtions by a dubi-
ous Didlamen of Confcience, is certainly guilty of a for-
mal Sin, tho' otherwife the Objeds are not only lawful^
but laudable. This is an unqueftionable Principle \x\

Z 3 Morals.

34* ^^^ Gentleman Injiru^ed,

Morals, and can only be deny'd by thofe who make no
Difterence between Good and Evil. U therefore you a-
dore Chrift with the Chriftian, and at the fame time
dcubt of his Divinity, you offend God in the very Aft of
"VVorfliip: You are a kind of a Pagan, tho* no Idolater.
On the other Side, if you blalpheme him with the Jew,
if you ftrip him of his Divine Nature, if you herd him
with the accurfed Crew of Hypocrites, and Impoftors,
and at the fame time fuipeft he is more than a Man, tho'
the doubt may perchance diminifh the Sin, it cannot
poffibly excufe ir.

jiriov. This is pretty. Muft I then like old Erafmus
dangle in the Air between both Churches? Or if I doubt
of all Religions, muft I profefs none ? Certainly, Sir, you
miftake your Errand : Whilft you pull down Latitudina-
rianifm, you very fairly fet up Atheifm ; and left all
Rel'igioyit jhould be fav'iMg^ you difallow of <///. - I would
fet out at "Jordan^ and take my Progrefs from one Reli-
gion to another, I would let any Man write upon me
'Turk^ yevj, A»iibaptijl., Presbyterian^ Independent., or
what Perfuafion you pleafe rather than an Atheiji. In fine,
it's more orthodox to profefs any Religion than none.

Eufeb. Under Favour, I would no more perfuade you
to condemn all Religions than to approve all. I know
there is a true Religion, and I am fure there is but one.
Nay, I am confident, that the Chriftian Religion carries
io many vifible Marks of divine Revelation about it, that
a Man who will bring Things to a fober Examen, muft
confefs it came from Fleaven, and that he who turns
Chriftianity into a Fable, or the Doftrine of the Bible in-
to Illuiion, defcrves either to bebegg'd for a Fool, or to
be ftigmatiz'd for a Blafpbemer. But if you waver with
Doubts, and fluctuate between the Synagogue and the
Church, without' being able certainly to determine in
which Truth is preach'd, in which Impofture ; rouze up
your Reafon, bring both to the Bar, hear their Pretenfi-
ons, examine the Motives of Credibility, and, in fine, fum
up the Evidence, and if you do this impartially, you'll
foon either be a Madman, or a Chriftian.

/Iriov. But if after I have heard the Witnefles, and
weigh'd the Evidence on both Sides with Deliberation,
Maturity, and Impartiality ; if, I fay, after thefe cere-
monial Frtrliminaries, I remain ambiguous, muft I nei-
ther convene with the Jew, nor the Chriftian ? Eufeb.

floe Gentleman Injiru^ed, 343

Eufeb. With neither, if this ftrange Cafe fhould hap-
pen: I fay, fliould happen, for in Reality it cannot ; the
Motives of ChriiUanity are fo many, and fo convincing,
that unlefs we fliut our Eyes, and hood-wink Reafcn,
they'll force us to acknowledge, that if it be not evidently
true, it's at leaft evidently credible; and when once you
are come up to this Certainty, then you are oblig'd to de-
clare for Chrillianity, to believe its Tenets, and pradlife
its Morals.

Ariov. Tho' Chriftianity compar'd with Judaifm may
feem credible, perchance it m.ay feem incredible, if com-
par'd with fome other Religion, that has never appeared
on our Horizon: For as there are Terrce Incognitx^ un-
known Regions, fo there are undifcover'd Religions.
Muft I therefore take my leave of Old England^ trudge
to Sea, and encompafs the World with Sir Francis
Drake^ before I pitch upon a Religion ? Or muft I at
ieaft rig out a Veflel of Intelligence, and then work up-
on thofe Materials the Captain or Mate brings home ?
This is a Work both tedious and expenfive ; nay, I may
add, endlefs and foolifh ; and he that can perfuade him-
felf God requires fuch a puzlingand fo impollible a Scru-
tinyj muft confefs the wile Maker of all Things intended
rather to be laugh'd at by Men, than worfhip'd.

Eufeb. Keep at home, God neither commands you
to fhip for Africa^ or America., nor to run in Queft after
the Fables oiihtBrachmans, or the Superftitions of the
Bonzies. A Religion that is evidently credible in E»g-
land^ is fo all the World over, with what Se6l foever you
compare it: For neither God's Goodnefs, nor Wifdom
can permit, a falfe Religion to be equally credible
with the true one ; much lefs can he permit it to be
more credible, and leaft of all, to be evidently credible;
If therefore after a lober Examen, you find fuch an Ap-
pearance of Truth, in the Chriftian Religion, that you
cannot doubt of it without Imprudence and Rafhnefs,
you may conclude without comparing it with any other,
that you are oblig'd to adhere to it, as reveal'd by God ;
and if you refufe to believe his fupream Veracity, (when
you cannot without a high Imprudence doubt, but he
fpeaks, you muft exped; to pay for the Contempt, by
groaning eternally under the Weight of hi« Indignation.
Z 4 DaOi

3 44 ^^ Gentleman Injl runted,

Dafli therefore out of the Patent one of thefe two Re-
ligions, and I couniel you, out of Refped to the Bap-
tifm you have receiv'd, and the Kingdom you live in,
rather to give up Judaifm than Chriftianity ; and after
all. Sir, Gircumciiion is painful, and our Englip Con-
ilitutions will not bear the Operation.

Ariov. Take your Courfe, we have been upon Duty
a great while, and I am willing to come to an Agree-
ment upon any Terms.

Eufeh. To an End, you mean, of the Difpute ; for we
can no more agree than Light and Darknefs, than Truth
and Falfhood, than Libertinifm and Religion. The pre-
fent Queftion is, whether a Man may in Confcience con-
form to the Alcoran in Conftantinople, and to the Gof-
pel in Chriflendom. Pray what Opinion have you of
the Alcoran^ Was it compil'd by divine Infplration, or
Impofture ? By a Prophet, or a Cheat ? By the Impulfe
of the Holy Ghoft, or the Suggeftion of Lewdnefs, and
Ambition ?

Ariov. Every Tittle breathes Nonfenfe, Impiety, or
Blafphemy: It puts almolt the very Alphabet out of
Countenance, and infedb the Paper it's writ on. A Man
muft commence Fool, before he can impofe upon his
Reafon thofe Forgeries for Revelations ; and turn Bealt
to pradife the Morals.

Eufeb. Enough : Why fo much Heat ; fo much In-
veftive againft a Religion that comes within the Verge
of Permiffion ? If tolerated, it deferves Refpe^St ; if not,
why do you defend it? It's ridiculous to damn the Alco-
ran^ and canonize the Dodtrinej to cenfure Mahomet,
and approve Mahomcufm.

But, pray, Sir, if the Alcoran favours Lewdnefs, and
lets loofe Senfuality ; if it draws upon Modefty, and
tilts at Reafon; if it gorges with Impiety, and fmcUs of
Blafphemy ; how can you put on the Turban^ and herd
with the Mujftilman ? For when you jump over the Pale
of Chriftianity, and give up your Name to the Cady^ or
Mufty^ you muft take up for Truths thofe Fables yoii
now brand with Forgery and Impofture ; you muft
change the Key to another Tune, you muft revere at
Conftant'tnople what you laugh at in London,, and bow to
what you ridicule; you muft fay and believe. Untruths
^s the Language of Heaven, Blafphemy the Dictates of

the

I'he Gentleman InJiruSfed. 34^^

the Holy Ghoft^ Murders, Lewdnefs and Rapines, the
Commands of a meek, holy and juft Deity ; for the
Turh take all the Alcoran for Revelation and Precept:
Now to fay God has reveal'd fome Things that clafh with.
Truth, others that check Reafon, and others again that
overilioot Extravagance ; that he commands forne Things
that difcountenance Virtue, and encourage Libertinifm,
is to ftrike at all his Attributes, and to make at his very
Perfon ; it's to frame a more vile Idea of his Divinity,
than the very Laplander ; for theirs is only ridiculous,
whilft yours is facrilegious and execrable.

Ariov. Were I at CoKjlantinopley I would fpeak like
the Mufty^ and do like a Mujj'ulmdn^ but then in my
Clofet I would laugh at their Folly, and pity their Blind-
nefs ; though my Tongue conform'd to the eliablifh'd
Religion, my Heart fhould be a Recusant ; This fliould
adore God in Spirit and Truth, tho' my Tongue and
outward Man worfhip'd him with Blafphemies, and
ferv'd him in Senfuality: All exterior Actions are to be
rated by the interior, this is their proper Standard ; if
the Intention be Sterling, they cannpt poflibly be Coun-
terfeit.

Eufeb. Ho! We are juft where we fet out: Now all
Religions are permitted again.

Jriov. Why fo ?

Etifcb. If the Intention can fandlify Hypocrify, and the
moft outragious Blafphemies, why may it not conveigh
Piety into JVIurders ; and Holinefs into the impure Sab-
baths of F'enus and Priapus ? Why can't it blanch over
the Horrour of the A'lexicam human Sacrifices ; or the
Cruelty of the Pumck burning Statues of Saturnl You
may, you fay, at Conftantinople^ expofe Chriftianity to
the Scorn and Petulancy of Infidels, give up the Bible
to Turks and Barbarians, impeach Chriftians of Apo-
ftacy, and make Impudence and Infpiration fpeak the
fame Language : If a good Intention can juftify at Con-
fiautinople fucha Catalogue of black Impieties, why may
it not authorize lefs Crimes in other places ? Return bold-
ly to your firft Thejis ; exclude no Religion out of the A6t
of Indulgence ; place Virtue and Vice on the fame Le-
vel ; pull down the Boundaries between Good and Evil ;
take off the Reftraint of Confcience, and blned Men arid
^eafts into one Species* Come, Sir, pluck up a good

Heart :

34<^ ^^ Gentleman Inftni^ed,

Heart; cafttheZ)/^, and pafs the /2a^/Vo» of Honour and
Confcience, our Difpute will otherwife be at an end ; for
we have call out the Talmud as Apocryphal ; you have
difcarded the Alcoran : fo that the Gofpel only Hands
untouch'd, and God's Permiffion is confin'd to Chriftia-
nity alone.

Arioviftus found himfelf in the Toyl, and knew not
■which way to unhamper himfelf; his Concern flew to
his Face, and every Pofturebetray'd an extreme Paflion ;
he fcem'd to brood fome defperate Refolution, and only
wanted Boldnefs to execute it : After a fhort Strife be-
tween Shame and Revenge; I perceive, fnid he, to Eu-
febius^ you take Advantage of my Condefcenlion, and
■ even turn my Civility againft me ; you manage a Fa-
vour fo ungenteelly, that I fhall Hand oft in Caution and
Refervednefs for the future.

Eujeb. Explain your Meaning. I fuppofeinDifputes,
Reafon mult take place of Ceremony, and that a Man
may prefs an Argument home without trefpafling upon
good Breeding; to be plain, I am more beholden to
my Arguments, than to your Liberality ; you have con-
defcended to me, 2isBoufflers did to K. IVilltam, when
he Could hold out no longer. In a Word, I have not
courted, but ftorm'd you into thofe Conceflions you
blufh at.

Ariov. Hold there ; I laid the Alcoran at your Mercy
without Neceflity, and attack'd it of Impofture, Fallacy,
and Blafphemy, out of an Excels of good Nature and
Complaifance.

Eufeb. Out of good Nature and Complaifance ?

Ariov. Yes, for, among Friends, it carries an Air of
Truth, iind the unlimited Extent of that Perfualion
pleads home for the Divinity of its Author.

Enfeb. Ho! ho! Vich^iWtTurhxn England: I thought
the Otto-man Religion reach'd no further than the Otto-
man Sword ; but I perceive it has fwum over'into our
Ifl:\nd. Pray, continu'd he, with a Smile, what isyour
Turk'ijh Appellation ? Solyman or Achmet ? But Raillery
apart ; , had I been upon the pinch, I would have dropt
the Turk^ and kept the Chriftian : For a Chriftian Turk
is a frank Atheift once remov'd, and tho' he makesProfef-
fion of a God, and of a Religion, molt Men conclude he
believes neither. Indeed by this unexpected Declaration,

you

^e Gentleman InJiruBed. 347

you have difappointed me; I intended to prove, that
one only Religion was faving, and that all others were
call out of the Ad for Toleration: But you have made
clever Work of it, and difcarded all Religions, nay, and
1 fancy. Salvation too.

Ariov. With PermilTion, Sir, tho' I approve the/^/<ro-
4-an^ I may reverence the Gofpel : And tliough I unlock
Heaven-Gate to Mujfiilmaas^ v/hy muft I (hut it upon
Chriftians ?

Eufeb. Why ? One runs quite counter to the other,
even in the mofteffential PcintSj both of Belief and Pra-
ctice. Chriftian Religion tells u3, Chrift is God, the
Mahometan^ that he is not; that commands us to adore
him, this forbids us. Now, Sir, if Truth favours the
Turks, Chrift is a meer Creature, and by confequence
all Chriftians are downright Idolaters : If therefore God
will be adored as a Being Eternal^ infinitely I4'ife, and
infinitely Holy, it's evident, you ('who difcover Truth on
every Tittle of the Alcoran) cannot with a fate Confci-
enqe profefs Chriftianity ; for that great Oracle tells us,
Chriit is a Creature, and therefore, fo foon as you com-
mence Chriftian, you pay divine Honour to a Man,
known, and acknowledg'd fuch : Now to adore God, as
a Man, is not to v/orfhip him as a Being Eternal^ infi-
nitely iVife, and infinitely Holy ; and to adore a Man,
as God, is to ftrip the Almighty of all his Prerogatives,
to rifle the San6luary, and to lay the confecrated Trea-
fures at the Feet of a Creature : Here is flat Idolatry on
the one Hand, and a Monfter compos'd of Idolatry and
Sacrilege on the other. So that to fum up the Evidence,
if Turcifm be a true and allow'd Religion, Chriftianity
is not ; and fo my Thefis is prov'd, that one Religion
alone is faving: Which glorious Quality, to the Shame
of Latitudinarianifm, and the Scandal of Reafon, you
clap on Mahometifm.

The Lady over-joy'd at the Defeat of ArJoviJlus was
not Miftrefs of her Tranfport : Thefe Gentlemen, faid
fhe, are for enfuring Caufes, and never fpeak under De-
monftration: Then turning to him. Sir, continu'd flie,
I pity your Malice, but I am glad of your Overthrow ;
you have been mcie at Variance with your felf, than
with your Adverfary, and feldom recall'd one Abfurdity,
^ithout advancing a greater j but at length, in Defiance
" ■ of

34^ ^^^ Gentleman InftmBed.

of Senfe snd Reafon, you have out-fhot Extravagance
it felf, and feal'd a Million of Impertinences with a da-
rjng Blafphemy : For you have rais'd up Mahometifm
upon the Ruins of Chrillianity, and funk our bleffed Sa-
viour into an Impoftor, to fwell Mahomet into a Pro-
phet. I counfel you to fhip for /Ifia in our Smyrna Fleet,
for our Engl'ifh Climate is mortal to a Turkijh Confti-
tution; thefe Animals can no more live here, than
Toads or Spiders in Ireland : Our EngUp Charity em-
braces all Men, befides Papjfis and Mujjulmans : Thofe
have too much Religion for a reformed Nation, and
thefe too little.

This Piquant Irony gall'd Ariovijlus to the quick;
Patience abandon'd him, and Paflion ran away with his
Judgment : So that at length he broke thro' all the Bounds
even of Refpeft and Reafon. Madam, faid he, I per-
ceive you are furpriz'd at my Dodrine; out of Refpedt
to your Ladyfhip, I freely condemn the dlcoran as Pra-
ctice and Impofture ; but then, give me leave to put
the Gofpel in the Indies alfo; They were both hammer'd
on the fame Anvil ; this to hag Men with Fears, the
other to divert 'em With plealing Profped:s of fenfual
Elyjiums : We have been Hob-goblin^ d too long into Reli-
gion ; but, God be thank'd, the Vizard is torn off, and
the Cheat is unmafk'd, and now we dare play with thpfe.
Monflers we once tremble at : We enter upon the Stage
of this World like Beafts, and make as inglorious an
Exit; our Lives and Souls fmoak into Nothing: We
were flung upon Earth, as the Leviathan was in the Deep
to play; feeing therefore our Days are few, it's Prudence
to live apace; Goo^ and £?/// are words ad placittim^ in-
vented by fome to impofe on others.

He was going on when Eufebius put a Hop to his
Impudence. I fufpefted, fays he, you a6led hitherto in
Mafquerade ; I am glad the Vizard is fallen off, and
that the Monfter appears in its own Shape : Men of your
Principles fhould be coop'd up in Peji-Houfes, their ve-
ry Breath (hoots Contagion, and their Converfation is
mortal. ||Your Atheiftical Club has made Religion cheap,
and Morality fhameful: It has preach'd a confiderable
Part of the Nation out of Sobriety, and Principles too :
Jt teaches young Gentlemen to fwear and blafpheme,
before they know rhe Malice of the Sins ^ and then

when

'the Gentleman InftruBeL '^^^.^

when Age opens their Eyes, they rather part with their
Innocence, than Prophanenefs. Thusyou efpoufe'em to
Wickednels, before they are able to commit it: But the
Mifery is, that thofe who curfe God in their Youth, in
good time will defy him ; and others who tranfgrefs the
Decalogue at ten, will laugh at it before twenty. Bold-
nefs grows upon us with. Age, and all the Terrors of
Confcicnce declines ; they faint under the Weight of rei-
terated Crimes, and lofe their Emphajis ; and then when
once we have got out of the reach of this importunate-
Cenfor, we {hall fwallowdown your accurfed Principles,
not only without Reluctance, but even with Pleafure :
We- fhall not only countenance Atheifm, but profefs it ;
and eafily perfuade our felves we die like Beafts, to live
like 'em.

I know you are no more able to defend your Morals,-
than your Faith; and I would rather deteft, than con-
fute 'em, were I not acquainted with the Latitudinarian
Impudence : You vent fuch hideous Tenets, that they
amaze Chriftians, and rather raifc their Indignation, than
call for a Confutation; like Puddles, they cannot be ftirr'd
without Infection, and like Plague Sores, they endanger
the Surgeon. —Now becaufe good Men fometimes think
it more expedient to confute thofe Impieties with Silence,
th^n Arguments, Libertines prefently raife a Trophy,
they fing Pcsafia, and cry out l^iBory. To cut off this
Retreat, Pllfhew you in fhort, that Virtue and Vice lie
not barely in Opinion.

And here I appeal to the Verdid of Mankind : Single
me out one Man, whofe Reputation did not fuffer under
the very Sufpicion of Vice; and if the bare Sufpicion of
Evil, has fuch a degrading Quality in the Opinions of
Men, Debauchery it felf mult have a greater: Human
Nature has fuch an Abhorrence of Sin, that it cannot
value the Wicked equally to the Virtuous. I never yet
heard of a Man, who ferioufly commended another for
his Intemperance, or plac'd Lewdnefs among his Titles
of Honour : Tho' Sobriety, Chaftity, and Juftice are run
downin Pradice, they ftand fair in our Efteem, and no
Man yet has attempted to difgrace an Enemy, by laying
thofe Virtues to his Charge : In fine, it's impoffible for
a Man in his Wits to efteem another lefs, becaufe he is
good •, nay, in this degenerate Age, nothing blaus morea

riiins

jj;o 7%e Gentleman InJinStd,

rifing Reputation, than the Imputation of Wickednefs*
and even thofe, who in a frantick.Tranfport applaud a
Debauchee, upon cooler Thoughts defpiie himi If all
Actions are equal, why are their Effeds fo different ? If
Virtue has no Advantage over Vice, why do the Profli-
gates efteem that, the' they embrace this? Why do Men
pradife Virtue with Confidence, and Vice with a blufh-
ing FacCj and a trembling Confcience ? Why do they
fm with Fear in their Looks, and an Earthquake in
their Minds ? .Thefe are terrible Symptoms, that the
Difference between Good and Evil lies deeper than the
Imagihation.

Come, Sir, remember when you feel the Smart of
everlailing Flames, you'll take fmall Pleafure in the
Thouglit that once you derided 'em; you'll not fufFer
lefs in that dark Region, becaufe you go laughing thither j
nor endure the Torments better, becaufe you would not
believe 'em.

Arioviftti! was of too haughty an Humour to bear fo
fevere a Check with Patience, and too violent to dif-
femble his Refentment ; wherefore turning to Eufehius^
Sir, faid he, you rail better than you reafon : Our
Tongues began to difpute, our Swords muil endit; you
have left my Tenets, to attack my Perlbn, and rather
ley el at my Anions, than at my Religion: You are a
. Man of Honour, ,and can manage a Weapon, as well as
an Argument; in a word, I expect Satisfadtion.

The Company began to fmile at this odd Rhodomon-
tade, but Eudoxus told him in controvertiftical Debates,
there was no Appeal from Reafon to the Sword; that it
was more prudent to confefs Errors, than to defend 'em j
to cancel paft Crimes, than to commit new ones.

^•aiEiifebius^ who refolv'd to dilcountenanceLatitudi-
narianifm, by confounding its Abettor, took him up
roundly. Sir, faid he, ,J fear your Gafconades no more
than your Arguments, nor your Sword more than your
Pvcafon ; your Conduct is as ftrange as your Religion ;
becaufe I have wounded your Principles, you invite m.c
to tilt at your Body : No, no, Sir, I value my Life too
much to expofe it for a Punctilio, and your Soul, to
fend it into the other World with a Rapier : I had rather
fvving o^ Tyburn 'mioY,\en\\iY, than to beduel'dinto it;
for a Duel is a very ill Diftcmper to dye of.

Beudeff,

7'he Gentleman InJiruBed. 351

Befides, {hould I accept your Challenge, perchance you
might difappoint me: I have known Ibme huffing Bul-
lies, who never were couragious, but when they Irood
out of the Sword's reach : They would fend you a
hundred Defies for a Word, but had too much Honour to
juftify one ; nay, they would upon fecond Thoughts fub-
mit toaBaftinade, rather than occafion Bloodfhedj and
if once their Adverfary drew Blood, like Wizards, they
had no Power to hurt him ; in fine, they would always
begin the War, and conftantly made the firft Overtures of
Peace, and thus theyfhew'd at once both Courage and
Difcrecion; whether this Charader fits you, I dare not
determine: This notwithftanding I muft affirm, thatthofe
who pretend to believe l&aft the Terrors of another
World, apprehend them moft ; and no Men fear more eter-
nal Torments, than thofe who deny the Soul's Immor-
tality: Lay by your Sword for a more urgent Occafion,
Fencing will never relieve a Controverfy abandon'd by
Reafon ; a fatisfaftory Return to my Arguments will
lupport you much better than a Pufh ; for tho' you chanc*
to foil me at tilting, you will not difarm my Reafons.

Ariovijlus was too proud to fubmit to Truth, tho' he
was too weak to withftand it ; he could not defend his
Errors, and would not abandon 'em ; fo that in a HufF
hecall'd for his Horfe, rub'd off, and left the Field to
Eufeb'tus.

His Friend apologiz'd for his Rudenefs, and cafl: his In-
civility on the Excels of Paffion. I hope, faid he to the
Company, ycu will excufe Ariovijlus. I confefs he is to
blame, but oftentimes Anger runs away with the Judg-
ment ; the wifeft Men are fubjeit to Indifcretions : He
was baffled, and you know a Defeat to a Man of Honour
is a mortifying Misfortune; in fine, having loft his Caufe,
you muft not wonder if Patience deferted him.

Eufeb. I excufe his Incivility, but condemn his Pru-
dence ; he faw his Error, why did he not abjure it ? He
faw Truth, why did lie not embrace it? A Man that
will pawn his Soul to refcue his Honour, forfeits both :
But I confefs, in vain we expedt Prudence of Libertines ;
Men without Religion are always- without Realbn ; they
may boaft of Science and Wit till Dooms-day, but no
Body can believe they are over-ftock'd with either : No,
no i they have only juil Knowledge enough to fee their

Errors,

^ '^S^ ^fhe Gentleman InJlruBcL

Errors, and Wit enough to enfure their Damnation ;
when once they aredrench'd in loofe Principles, they are
paft Recovery j they turn all Antidotes into Ratsbane,
and fo either live in Obftinacy, or die in Defpair.

Then l2i'k'mg Eudoxus afide: Are you not, continued
he, almoft lick of Latitudinarianifm ? You faw how weak-
ly Ariovilius defended it, yet he was not ill provided of
thole Materials, that are necefTary to plead well a bad
Caufe ; he manag'd his Arguments to the beft Advantage,
and edg'd his Reafons with all the little Artifices of Lan-
guage and Confidence ; but Truth has prevail 'd over
Impofture, and he carries home nothing but Chagrin and
Confufion. I hope Providence has referv'd the Profit of
his Defeat for you ; he has condemn'd all Religions, and
Chriftianity among the reft, and at the fame time turns
Atheift to live a Libertine.

Eudox. Nothing but Rage drove Ariov'tjlui into that
Precipice, he was upon a Pinch, poor Gentleman, and
jQiot Blafphemy when he had fpent his Reafons; his Per-
formance.falls fliort of my Expectation. I perceive that
Boafting is not an Argument of Wit, and that Confidence
and Truth are not always on the fame Side. Ariovijlui
whocaus'd my Infidelity, has now cur'd it; I owe my
Converfion to the Weaknefs of his Proofs, and to the
Strength of yours. Chriftianity is certainly the only fa-
ving Religion, but I am hamper'd in a Labyrinth, and
unlefs you lend me a Hand fhall wander eternally in'a
Meander of Miftakes: For Chriftian Religion branches
out into a thoufand Sedts, our Ifland is a kind of Pan-
theon, and our People like the old Arabians^ bend to the
Breath of every pretended fnlpiration : Some pretend
Law, others Scripture; thefe Antiquity, thofe Novelty,
and others Illumination. It's hard to calculate up all the
Religions that divide the Nation, and almoft impoflible
to examine them. If I muft choofe none before I have
impartially furvey'd all, I may live a Seeker, and die an
Athe'tjl. Are all thofe Communions faving; or is there
but one ?

Eufeb. There is but one faving Congregation, and the
Difcovery of it is eafier than you imagine : In a hw Days
I will put you in the Way to Heaven, which none can
mifs, but thofe who are refolv'd to overlook it : Intereft
byafles fome. Education others, Fac^tion deludes many,

and

^he Gentleman Inflru^ed, 353

snd Senfuality over-bears more : In fine, when Men con-
fuk their Inclinations, and model Religion by the Advice
ofPalTion, you mult not wonder, if they take Fancy for
Revelation, and hug Iliufion for Truth.

Eufebius ftaid a Week with Eudoxus^ and fettled his
Judgment. Truth flafli'd fucha Light on hisUnderfland-
ing, that he admir'd his former Blindnefs, and thought it
more difficult to miftake the true Church, than he did be-
fore to find it ; he learnt what he was to do, as well as
what he was to believe, and refolv'd to fquare his
Thoughts and Actions by the Rule of his Duty : He has
kept his Purpofe, and at preient has the Reputation of an
accompliftiM Gentleman, and, what he values moft, of a
pious Chriftian. This Providence, which permitted Theo-
tnachus to fiill from a State of Virtue, into a deplorable
-Habit of Vice, rais'd young Eudoxus from the Abyfs of
Vice, to the Top of Virtue ; to teach poor Mortals, that
the Sinner muft not defpair, nor the Saint prefume.

Eufebius having brought this great Bufinefs to a mofl
happy Conclufion, return'd to London j and gave Notice
to Theomachus of his Arrival.

DIALOGUE XIII.

Having fettled Eudoxus, Eufebius meets Theomachus,
who offers to believe the Exijience of a God upon good
ReafonSy though not Mathematically evident.

"TipUfebius the next Morning save Theomachus a Vifit.
■*-^ He found him in the Company of fome Gentlemen of
his Cabal, whom the Noife of the Difpute had alarm'd ;
they were concern'd that Eufebius had the Face to Hand
up in Defence of God, to plead (o warmly againft Athc-
ifm, and that after the firil Camifcadu he was return'd to
beat up their Quarters. Theomachus perfuaded himfelf,
that the Journey of Eufebius was a meer put-ofF, and that
he had really no Bufinefs in the Country, but to wave
the Conference at London, and fo Ipread abroad his latij
Engagement, you may be fure to his own Advantage ;
He flatter'd himfelf, and others alio, that the Difpute was
at an End, and being freed from his Enemy, he gave full
A a Libert/

354 ^^^ Gentleman Injlrti^ed,

Liberty to his Tongue, and launch'd out into Panegyricks
of his valt Performance, to the Prejudice of Truth and
Modefty : The News of Eufebius's Arrival damp'd his
fJcpcs, and convinc'd him, he had rais'd a Trophy before
tliii Vittory: He had no mind to engage, nor could he
rctrent with Honour; but, in fine, he rcfolv'd upon the
Conftrrence, as the lefs Evil, and invited his Friends to
the Skirmilh : He recciv'd Eufeb'ms with Demonftrations
of Civility, and was rather prodigal than fparing of Ca-
Tefles : After many reciprocal Compliments, Eafebius
addreded himfelf to Theumachus.

Eufeh. Sir, at our lalt Meeting I charg'd Atheifis with
Imprudence, becaufe being uncertain whether there were
a God, a Hell, or a Heaven, they liv'd as if they were
certain there were no fuch Things; you endeavour'd to
fence againft the Charge, and to plead not guilty ; be-
caufe, though you fhould take up, and model your Life
by the Rules of the molt fevere Morals, this ungrateful
Rcftraint would only ferve, perchance, to leflen your
Torments in the next Life, if there be a God, but would
never be able to fet you in Heaven: For God, faid you,
requires as an indifpenfible Homage, not only a well-regu-
lated Life, but a ftable and undoubted Belief of his Be-
ing ; the one is of fmall Advantage without the other ;
yoM pretended this llcddinefs was not in your Power,
and ask'd convincing Reafons to fettle and fix your Judg-
nient ; I promis'd you Satisfaction, and am come to keep
my Word ; but I fuppofe an P!vidence below that of
Mathematical Demonltrations will fatisfy you. ■

Theom. The very Qi_ie{lion is reflecting, and you muft
either RifpeCl; my Wit ^r my Judgment to propofe it: I
kncAV God is neither a L/»f, Superpcies^ nor Solid^ he
comes not within the Predzcamerjt of a Figure, and there-
fore lies our of the reach of Mathematicks: A Man that
will acquieice to nothing but ftridt Demonftrations,
v.ould do vv-ell to disband from Society, to lock up his
Pvcafon in his Clofet, and only carry it about him on
extraordinary Occaiions ; he may take up with the Scep-
ticks, ;ind doubt of his own Being : No Man can de-
monltrate by Euclid, or Archimedes^ there is fuch a City
as CunJlantiKopIe, or that there has ever been fuch an Em-
peror as Aiigujius \ and yet, God be thank'd, upon the
credible Teitimony of thofe who have feen the one, and

of

^he Gentleman InJlruBed, 355

of thofe Authors who have writ of the other, I no more
doubt of them, than of this unqueftionable Principle, ^rerj
eft minor toto : Some things may poflibly be falfe, tho' I
dare pawn my Life they are not.

Eufeb. YonvDi^cowxiQisreafonable: For were you and
I caft upon a defert Illand by the ftrefs of Wind and
Weather, and fhould we find in this abandon'd Region a
ilately Palace, built With all Symmetry of Art, we (hould
conclude, it was the Work of an Archite<St, not of Nature
or Chance ; nor would it be in our Power to doubt of it ;
yet 'tis poflible for blind Matter to rendezvous it felf into
a ftately Louvre y for by a lucky Meeting of Atoms, it
may be jumbled and fettled in this beautiful and regular
Form. A hundred thoufnnd blind Men, (tho' they fet
out from all the Parts of the World) may poffibly meet
together upon Black-Heathy and draw up in Rank and
File ; yet fhould we lee this extraordinary great Army in
Battle-array, without the Help of SylLugifm, we fliould
infer, they were led to the Place, and each conduced to
his Station by fome, who had better Eyes than they,

I conceive likewiie you do not require Phyfical Demon-
ftrations, id eft^ convincing Proofs drav.'n from Senfe ;
for God being fuppos'd a Spirit, cannot fall under cor-
poral Senfe, and though he Ihould prefent himfelf to the
Eyes by afluming a Body, the Spediacle m.ight amaze us,
but could not give us any rational Aliurance, that there
is an infinite Spirit.

Theom. I ask fuch Proofs as leave the Underftanding
fatisfied, and fix the Judgment, and remiOve all prudent
Doubt; for fuch Arguments deferve as firm an Affent,
as the moft ftri6l Mathematical Demonftrations. 1 am
as fure there is fuch a Place as Cor^flantinople^ as that the
firft Propofition of Euclid is true ; and doubt no more,
but Cccfar was, than that I am.

Etifeb. 'Tiseafyl fee to agree in Preliminaries, when
the one fide propofes nothing but whit is juft, and the o-
ther will receive what is reafonable: You have admit-
ted what neither in Prudence nor Reafon you could re-
je6f, and I have only ask'd what I could not omit, without
betraying the Intereft of Truth, and the Merits of the
Caule I have undertaken to defend. Now feeing the Sob-
jedl is not capable of Mathematical Demonftrations, nor
even of Phyfical Evidence in the Stale we are, methinks,

A a 2 i ap-

55^ ^he Gentleman Injlru^ed.

I apprehend two Ways by which God can manifeft his
Being lo Man: Ftrji^ By an internal Impreflion ftamp'd
wiih his divine Signet in our Nature, which leads us na-
turnlly to the Knowledge of his Exiftence, as the innate
Light of our Underftanding (hews us the Truth of the
sirll' Priy/ciples of D'fcourj'e.

Secmdh'^ By viliblc Effeds, which Reafon tells us muft
be father'd on Ibme Caule, and which without Conftraint
and V^iolence, our Underftanding cannot attribute to any
thing but a Bein^ infinitely powerful, infinitely wife, and
infinitely good.

Tbeo. 1 agree, thefe two Ways would be fufficient to
iettlc a reafonable Man in the Belief of a Deity, and
that an Athcill would be the moft abfurd, the moft un-
reafonable Creature in the World, if he required more.

Eitfeb. Well, Sir, hitherto we have walk'd Hand in
Hand, our Judgments have been uniform, and I hope
our good Intelligence will continue in the following Con-
ference. 1 will prove you have thefe very Proofs of his
Being, you confefs fufficient, and as plain as you could
in Reafon expect, fuppofmg he were. Let us therefore
difcufs things in Order, and produce our Proofs in their
Turn ; when we confound Arguments, we confound
7'ieus, and only contemplate Truth through a Cloud.

DIALOGUE XIV.

Yhe firji Proof for a Det!^^ drawn from the uoiverfal
Confefit of Mankind.

Enfei\^ H E Notion of a God is fo deeply ingrafted
•*■ in our Minds, that it feems to be twifted and
interwoven with our Nature ; it's of the fame Date with
our Species, it runs through our Veins with our Blood,
and is conveigh'd to us from our Anceftor's ; it's neither
fix'd to Climate, nor Complexion, it takes in all Times,
as well as all Place<; : It's engraven in the Hearts of the
Africans^ as well as of the A/iaticks ; the barbarous To-
pinbays oi Brnjll feel the Impreflion, as well as the moft
polite Europeans ; and the very brutifh Hutentot s o{ l\\t
Caocy in fpight of SaviJgenefs,fhew they are Men meerly

by

The Gentleman Injlrufied, ^^y

by acknowledging a fupream Being ; the old j^Jfyrians
have left Pofteriiy a convincing Tellimony they believ'd
a God, becaufe they coin'd falle ones ; they had never
multiply'd Divinities, had they believ'd there was none,
nor paid divine VVorihip to "statues, had they not been
perfuaded there was fome Being above them, that com-
manded Homage, becauie he delerv'd it.

The Medes brought down the /ij}yria» Grandeur, and
bury'd the Empire, together with its Emperour, in a
Grave of Afhes ; yet thefe new Conquerours, who an-
nuU'd the old Laws, and enaded new ones, who thruft
out antient Cuftoms to make room for others, qu;irreird
not with the Ajjyriam about the Belief of a God, they
liv'd in the fame Perfuafion; Nebuchodotiozor would
needs fhare Worfhip with his Maker, and fo fet up his
own Statue to receive thofe Honours which belong'd to
the fupream Being.

The Perfians^ SuccelTors of the Median Greatnefs, fuc-
ceeded alfo in their Belief of a Deity : The conquering
Macedonians agreed in this Point with the vanquifh'd In-
dians ; and Rome furpafs'd all other Nations in Superfti-
tion, more than Courage ; flie built her Greatnefs upon
the Suppofition of a Deity, and as fome remark, grew
fo great, becaufe fhe was fo pious : She found the Stamp
of a Divinity, wherever {he carried her vidorious Arms,
and the Conqueft of foreign Gods, as well as of captive
Princes, fet oft" her General's Triumphs. In a Word,
the Belief of a Deity reach'd as far as the Plantations of
Men ; it has never yet been fhut out of one City, one
Bourg, or perchance one Family : The moft barbarous
Wretches that ever where, knew there was a Deity, tho'
they miftook in the Application of their Worfhip. You
may almoft as foon find a People without Souls, as with-
out a God, that tbey rather will dedicate an Altar to an
unknown Deity, than have none.

The En^lijh, Dutch, Portuguefe, and Spaniards, bra-
ving the Fury of the Winds, and the threatning Surges
of the enrag'd Ocean, have difcovered a new World^in
our Days, almofl equal to the Old, they have rifled liie
very Wildernefles, and ranfack'd the Mines ; wherever
they met with the Traces of Men, they fell upon the
Footfteps of a God ; thefe Barbarians that liv'd without
jLaws, without Houfes, without Commerce, were fel-
A a 3 <^iOm

35S ^he Gentleman Injfru^ed.

dom found without Temples; and though a favage Edu-
cation, an J more favage Vices had obfcur'd the Notion,
they had nt)t the Power to deface it ; 'twas legible in the
very Night of Idolatry, in the Obfcurity of Errors, and
fome Nations thought 'twas lefs Abfurdity to worfliip the
Devil, than to deny a God. Now if you call for Proofs,
lean prefent you a thouland, as Itrong and fatisfa6tory
as the 6ubje6t will bear: Pafl Matters of Fadt can only
be convey'd down to us by written, or oral Tradition ;
and thofe of our own Time, that lie at a Diftance, can
only be prov'd by credible VVitnelles ; what I maintain
has ail thefe Supports, and by confequence can be que-
ll;:on'u only by thofe, who will be fure of nothing but
that they doubt of all Things.

• Theo. Whether this be true or falfe, your Caufe will
not be much the better, nor mine worfe ; yet I mult tell
you, you are miftaken in your Account : I have read in
Acofta^ and others, that divers People, both in the Eajh
and IVeft-Indies^ live as well without a God, as without
Houfes; they love nothing but their Eafe, and fear no-
thing but their bordering Enemies : Befides, our European
Atheifts mufter'd up in one Body, would make a confide-
rable Figure; and jLo«^&« alone, upon an emergent Oc-
cafion, can draw out a brisk Brigade : I am coniident, at
leaft, we exceed you in Qiiality, if you furpafs us in Num-
ber, and why may not the one balance the other?

Eufel>. Oh I I may cry out, with Seneca^ Mentiuntur
qt4i dicunt [e non [entire Deum, nam etji tibi affirment in-
ter diu^ noiiu tamen {^^ foli duhitant ; " They lye, who fay
" they believe no God, for tho' by Day in'the Hurry of
*' Company, and Heat of Debauch, they may profefs
" Atheifm ; yet in Darknefs and Retirement they change
*' their Mind:" Say if you pleafe no God \s the Wifh of
Many^ but the Opinion of None: But if fome Authors
have faid fo, others equally credible have contradicfted 'em ;
yet all agree that thofe People have more of the Beaft,
than of the Ma.n ; they wander in Woods, like Tigers,
without Commerce, without human Society, they worry
their own Species, and prey upon their neareft Relati-
ons ; fo that, like Children, though they have Reafon, they
want the Ufe of it: They live without Refledion, and
confequently without Difcourfe; and indeed I do not fee
^hy Difeafes of the Soul may not untune the Organs of
' ' the

The Gentleman Injlmcfed. 355)

;the Brain, as well as thofe of the Body ; why Education
and Barbarity may not obftrudT; the Operations of the In-
telledt, as well as a Frenzy. The whole Set o{ European
Atheifts are but a Pack of daring Debauchees,, who pride
in Infamy, and blufh at Modefty : They reafon ill, and
live worfe ; they hate Truth no Icfs than Sobriety, and
are too infignificant, either to countenance a good Caule,
or prejudice it: Their Votes, like Cyphers, without an
Unit, make no Number.

But let us face your Atheift with thclj who believe a
God, and we fliall find after a general Mufter (though
you appear alfo at the Head of the London Brigade) an
infinite Difproportion. Would it not be true, that all the
Citizens ol London profels the Religionof the Church of
England^ altho' one Presbyterian, or Recufant upon Ex-
amen fhould be found among them r And will you conteit
this univerfal Variety, that reafonable Creatures endea-
vour to defend themfelves from the Injuries of Wind and
Weather, becaufe fome brutifli Savages lie under the
open Canopy of Heaven without Fence, or a Hut to
skreen oft" the Heats of the Summer, or the Cold of the
Winter? Yet the Difproportion between you and us js
ten times greater, than between one Recufant, and the
Citizens of London, or between thofe Men who make
Provifions againft the Rigour of Seafons, and thofe who
do not: If therefore in one Cafe, a particular Fadl does
not prejudice the univerfal Inference, why muft it in the
other? Arijlotle tells us, that fofne rejedted this Princi-
ple, A thing cannot be, and not be at the fame time, and
that /Inaxagoras maintain'd Snow is Black ; yet, I fuppofe,
if I fay the Principle is receiv'd by all Mankind, you will
not except againft my Aflertion. I may then conclude,
that the Perfuafion of a God runs through our whole Spe-
cies, and fpreadsas wide as the remoteft Colony.

Theo. If I difpute my Ground by Inches, we fliall
make a long Work of our Conference : Pray go on.

Eufeb. Our difference about the Matter of Faft being
at an End, I ask you the Origin of this univerfal Imprel-
iion ; From whence comes it that this chimerical Objedl
continually encounters and haunts our Underftanding?
Why do our Apprehenfions rove in another World, and
|iufh the Being of a Deity ?

A 3 4 Thee.

3^0 ^he Gentleman Injiru^ed,

Thes. Some wirty Gentlemen will tell you, this Notion
came into the World by an accidental Fright j Men ftart-
cd at Thunder, before they knew the Caufe of it, and
fome of greater Wits than their Neighbours improv'd this
pannick Fear into Religion ; they perfuaded the Mobile
there was fomebody above, that fpoke aloud, and breath'd
forth his Anger in Flames and Smoak : Others with much
Probability affirm this Perfuafion fprings from an innate
Fear in the Mind of Man, and a reftlefs Apprehenfion
of the worft that may happen, Primum in orbe Deos fe-
cit timor,

Eufcb. A Man that will not take Notice of the true
Reafon of Things, which generally is but one, may
forge a hundred falfe ones ; for though one Path leads to
Truth, a thoufand condudt us into Error. Pray, Sir, fee-
ing Men were firft frighted, and then cheated into the
Belief of a Deity, of whom did that witty Gentleman
borrow the Notion ? He was certainly imbu'd with the
Idea of a God, before he couid communicate it to his
Neighbours. The Cheat was firft put on him before he
deceiv'd others. Who impos'd on him? His Name de-
ferves a confiderable Place in Hiftory, and I do not fee,
why our Fore-fathers fhould have been lefs careful to
conferve his Memory, who flyly brought the Notion of
a God into the World, than his who conveigh'd the Tro-
jan Horfeinto the City, and betray'd it to the Grecians :
But though you fatisfy this Qu<ere^ the fame Queftion
will return, who cozenM him? Nor will it ceafe, till we
difcover the Origin, or have run you up beyond the firft
Moment of Time ; the only tolerable Efcape is to refolve
this Fear into Tradition.

But, pray tell me, how you know this Im^rtKionabim-
vnemoriali, has been handed down from Father to Son ?
You are Men of Parts, and glory more in Wit than
Grace ; you generally fcorn all Authority but your own,
and appeal even from what we call Scripture, to Rea-
fon : Back your AlTertion with any tolerable Proof,and for
once I'll take it for Demonftration: All you can fay a-
mounts to this, that perchance long ago, fome thinking
Brain wrap'd up in continual Speculation, blunder'd up-
on the Notion, and fent it round ; that it found a kmd
Reception ; and even fince has been kept in Countenance
^nd Reputation? But it is not ftrange that one meer Per-
chance

^he Gentleman Inftni^ed, ^$i

chance that ftands for no God, (hould weigh more with
an Atheift, than pofitive Reafon for him?

This Tradition is of a very antient Date, and older, in
all Probability, than the Invention of Writing; for ought
that you know, it has been from the Beginning ; nay,
I may add it's ten times more likely, it fprang up with
Man, than that a Man firft ftarted the Impofture, and
others made it over to Pofterity: For the Impreffion of
a God finks into the Souls, not only of thofe polite and
civiliz'd Niitions, who have prelerv'd from Oblivion
fome Remnants of paft Tranfadions and Books of Re-
cords, but even of thofe who are as ignorant of what
pafled in the laft Age, as of what was done two thoufand
Years ago, and of thofe whofe Arithmetick goes not be-
yond their Fingers, nor their Knowledge beyond their
own Remembrance. What likelihood then that thofe
who are Strangers to all Tradition, fhouldbe fo well ac-
quainted with this ?

But to difpatch the firft Gentleman ; when the natural
Caufe of Thunder was difcover'd, why was not the
Cheat unmask'd ? Why did not the Phantom difappear
at the fight of Knowledge, which Ignorance and Error
had created? Were the Underftandingsof Men fo cow'd
with the Cheat, that they durft not ftruggle againftit: Or
were they fo enamour'd of their Fears, as to cherifh the
Objedtof their Torment? If this be true, our Anceftors
were caft in another Mould than we, they hugg'd what
we hate, and doted on what we abhor, If a Man im-
pofes on us by a Surprize, fo foon as the Cheat is dif-
cover'd, we ftandupon our Guard, and, like Birds (hot
at, grow wild: We become cautious and referv'd, we
ftand oft'in Jealoufy and Sufpicion : But our tame Ance-
ftors, who were thunder'd and lighten'd into the Belief of
a God, kept up the Illufion when they had unvizarded
the Trick: Theylik'd, itfeems, the Conceit, and were
fo pleas'd with Fears and Apprehenfions, they refolv'd
to make them immortal.

Theo. Thefe Gentlemen will tell you, Timeworeout
the Memory of the Impofture, butnot the Effeds: The
Cheat was foon forgot, tho' the Notion of a God remain'd ;
Education kept this on foot, and continu'd it to our Time ;
and indeed the original Tindlure of Education feldom
wears out : Tho' fome inbred Principles are impregna-
ble

3^4 7he Gentleman Injirucfed.

ble againft Education, yet fome Cuftomsarife from Edu-^
cation, wliich Nature it felf can hardly deal with.

Eiijeb. /Itheijisj when they have loft their other Holds,
retreat to Education; they look upon it as an advantagi-
ous Poft, and think themlelves there, not only out of the
Reach of Surprize, butof Aflault; it is their darling Ar-
gument, and therefore deferves a peculiar Confideration.
I delire you therefore to keep it for a Referve, at prefent
I have the fecond Gentleman upon my Hands, and I muft
do him Right before I leave him. You fay, other Gentle-
men affirm, ■with great Probability, tbattbePerfuafionof
a God fprings from nn innate Fear in the Mind of Man, and
a rejllefs Apprehenjion of the "worjl that may ha^ fen ; and
then you prop the Affertion with the Authority of a Poet.
This is in Mr. Hobbs's Phrafe ; Fear of Power invijible,
feign d by the Mind, or imagined from 'Tales publickly
told, IS Religion.

This Evalion is liable to great Exceptions ; for fuppo-
fing Man has an innate Fear, that he is fubjedt to ima-
gine dreadful Things, and apt to fcare himfelf with
ghaftly Apparitions of his own coining ; yet he cannot
fear, unlefs he frames, or finds the Objeft that raifes this
unquiet Faffion : What Objedl can we frame in the Shop
of his Apprehenfions which has not fome Relation to
Misfortunes he has either feen or heard of? The Fancy
may makeftrange Combinations, and tie together Things
that have no Connexion, yet it muft know thofe Things
before it links them together ; for the Apprehenfion, like
the Will, cannot work upon thofe Materials that lie out
o( its Sphere. When the Streams of the Hypochondry
mount up to the Brain, a Man may fancy himfelf at the
laft Gafp, though his Pulfebeat even, and he enjoys per-
fe6l Health, for" he has feen others die, and knows he is
liable to the fame Fate ; but the moft fplenetick Coxcomb
in the World cannot fright himfelf with a Pleurify, unlefs
he knows there be fuch aDifeafe in Nature. The Noti-
on of a God may therefore awaken Man's Fear, but the
moft timorous Nature cannot tremble at the Apprehenfi-
on of a God, unlefs fuch a Being be known: Seeing
therefore the Knowledge of a God precedes his Fear, who
ftamp'd on Man the Im.prefTion?

Theo. We muft take Things as we find them. Man
depends originally on himfelf, he is beholding to no ex-
terior

T'he Gentleman Inftru0cd. 3 6^

terior Principle for his Exiftence, he is as he ever was,
and will always be without any intervening Change :
The Notion of Deity, thefe Gentlemen fay, has lluck
clofe to him from Eternity, and in all Probability will
jog on with him till the Species fall into nothing ; but
to what Intent this Fury hovers about him, Do61ors have
not determin'd ; fome, notwithftanding, are inclin'd to be-
lieve, that Nature envious of Man's Happinefs, rais'd this
Spirit to cool his Hopes, and fophifticate his Pleafures.

Eufeb. Your Gentlemen Incognito, who argue by Proxy,
triumph without Doubt, and fancy this Anlvver has made
the Bufinefs wonderfully clear ; but I appeal to the com-
mon Senfe of Mankind, whether it does not rather Itart
Difficulties, than folve them. I have prov'd, that Men
knew God, before they fear'd him, and confequently that
this Fear could not fpring from any innate timorous Dif-
pofition, but that it muft be afcribed to the great Author
of Nature, who hasftamp'd on our Souls the Knowledge
of his Being; now your young Gentlemen very conff-
dently tell me, Man was ab ctterno^ and ftands indebted
for his Being to no Body but his own Nature, and they
thrult on me this fine Syflem, with fuch an Air of AlTu-
fance, as if it were clear beyond Debate, and near allied
to the firft Principles ; whereas, the Thing is not only
fahe, but abfurd to Dotage, as I fhall make out in its
proper Place ; but abyjfui abyffum invocat^ one Abfurd ity
ufhersin another; a h?idTheJis is always Supported with
weak Proofs.

But, for the prefent, I admit your Hypothejis. Ar'iftotle
affumes this Aphorifm as a Principle, Natura nihil agit
frufira^ Nature does nothing in vain ; now whether we
call our View without us, or within us, whether we
furvey the great World, or the lefs, we' fhall fubfcribe to
the Maxim : The natural Inclination ofall Things, either
tend to the Perfedtion or Confervation of Individuals, or
elfe to the Beauty and Symmetry of the whole. Sympa-
thies and Antipathies, have their proper Stations and
Employments ; every Being, tho' never fo minute, a6ts
its Part in the great Theatre of the Univerfe ; there are
no Mutes in the whole Creation, that appear meerly to
fill the Stage: Seeing therefore all other Things have
their Task cut out for them, and labour in their feveral
Pofls, whv fl-iould this Notion of a God, like a Drone,
' " Hand

3^4 -^^^ Genti-eman Injlrutled,

Hand idle without Office, without Employment? Has>
Nature liungitinto the World at Random, as theOftrich
lays her Eggs, and then flies into the Defart ? Why fhould
you arraign her Prudence in this Point, who fhews her
Wil'dom in the Management of all Things bcfides ?
Ought we not rather to queftion your Integrity, than
her Condudt ?

Befides, whether all Things were ah aterm of theni-
felves, or juftled into Being by a lucky Hit of Chance,
and LegerdematK, they have at leaft happen'd as well, as
if an infinite Wifdom and Power had a Hand in the Con-
trivance; but 'tis moft certain, that an infinite Wifdom
would never have engrafted in the A-lindsof Men fo vain,
io fuperfluous a Principle, had there been no God in the
World ; therefore feeing fuch a Principle runs thro' the
whole Mafs of Mankind, we have all the Reafon in the
World to conclude, there is »o God.

A Perfon of Quality in the Company, who meafur'd
his Wit by his Eftate, would needs come into Theoma-
chas^s Succour; he thought his Title would add a Luftre
to his Arguments, and that he might filence Eufebius by
Authority, tho' he could not by Reafon : Methinks, faid
he, with fubmiffion to better Judgments, Theomachus
has overlook'd the decifive Solution of the Difficulty,
yet I mull needs fay, he hasbehav'd hinifelf in the Con-
teft like a Man of Parts, he has not fhrunk under the
Charad:er of a witty and well-fpoken Man, but main-
tain'd his Reputation ; yet oftentimes Warmth arid Ea-
gernefs let Advantage flip, and we remember not in a
Hurry thofe Arguments that occur, when our Temper
is cool and fedate : I do not fee why we Ihould have
Recourfe to accidental, or natural Fears, or why we
fhould fetch this Notion from the further end of Eternity ;
we can reconcile the Difference, and Hop the Breach
at lefs Expence of Time and Labour: I am apt to think
Education will unriddle the Myftery ; we eafily take
the firft Tinfture, and when it's well imbib'd, it never
wears off: The firft Rudiments ftick fo clofe, that often-
times they never leave us, and fo by a pardonable Mi-
ftake, even wife Men afcribe many Things to our Nature,
which we owe to the fole Inftru6lion of our Nurfe.
Turcijm runs in fome Families, Popery in others, and
the reform'd Religion in mine: Whence cemesthis Va-
riety

fhe Gentleman InJrtiM. 3^5

riety but from Education, and a certain Influence of the
Climate? Had 1 been born at Conftantinople^ 1 had taken
the Turban inftead of a Hat, and Circumcifion in place of
Baptifm ; had I Sfain or Italy for my Country, Popery
would have been my R.eligion, and in all f^robability I
{hould have been as ready to fight for Clement the Xlth's
Prerogative of Primacy, as I am now to fight againft it:
Education alone has continu'd Religions; we are Prote-
Itanls in England now, becaufe our Parents and Govern-
ours were fo the laft Age : The Turks have taken their
Alcoran from their Anceftors, and the prefent Papifis
Tranfubftantiation, feven Sacraments, and the Mafs
from theirs: Now if our Fore-fathers by Education could
infufe into us the Belief of thefe feveral Religions, why
not that of a God? And if they could, why fhould we
craze our Brain, and exhauft our Spirits in the Purfuit of
another Origin ?

The Company applauded my Lord's Performance, and
fome were for petitioning for a higher Patent, for the fig-
nal Service he had done the Nation.

Eufeb. Under favour, my Lord, this Expedient will
not do; nay, thofe Difficulties I objedt againft Theoma-
chus turn upon your Hypothefis with rip lefs Violence
than his : For this Notion of a God could not be fpread
by Education, before it was in the World ; it could not
be toft from paft Ages down to the prefent, unlefs it was
in paft Ages ; and if it was, it either was ab <eterno, or
began in Time: If you fay the firft, you build the whole
Proof on meer Conjefture and Suppofition, nor can you
make one Tittle of it good, without begging the Quefti-
on: If you fay the fecond, then either it began with
Man, or after him ; if with Man, then God who made
Man ftamp'd on his Mind this Impreflion ; if it began af-
ter him, pray who firft fail'd into the other World, and
made the Difcovery of this airy Spedtre? Where did he
live; and when ? Or at leaft if you are not able to date
the Birth of the Notion, (hew me when it was not, and
I will pay your Argument the fame Refpedl 1 owe your
Perfon ; but I cannot take Words for Reafon, not a proof-
lefs Suppofition for Evidence: You are the capital Wits
of the World ; cautious Perfons, that will not be impos'd
on, that on all Occafions call far Evidence,

Befides,

^66 The Gentleman injiruBecl.

Befides, according to the Charaders of Education and
Nature, theNotionhas noRefemblance with Education j
but every Line, every llroke, reprefents Nature to the
Life. We lay Self-love, and the Inclination to Pleafure
are natural to Man, becaufeWefee thefe twoPaflions ac-
company him in all Ages, in all Places, and in all Em-
ployments , we love our felves nov/ as our Anceftors did
fix thoufand Years ago; we purfue Pleafures in 1702,
.with the fame Eagernefs our Fore-fathers did in 1000,
and even thofe who adting by more high and divine Mo-
tives fly Pleafure, cannot avoid the Inclination: The
Defire of Glory, according to all Men, rifes alfo from
Nature, becaufe it puts the Thoughts of all Men in a
Ferment, it awakens their Induitry, and enlivens them
for Action ; we all love to furvive the Grave, and hate
that our Name flrould be nail'd up in the Coffin: This
Perfuafion begun with Man, and has continued in his
Blood without Variation, without Interruption ; it
warms old Age, and fires Youth, it aflaults the Peafant,
it captivates the Prince ; thofe who dare not fetch Glory
frem the Camp, purfue it at the Bar, they plead up their
Names when they want Refolution to fight them up ; in
fine, Nature is the fame in all Men, it's liable, uniform*
permanent \ but Education is of another Complexion, 'tis
always upon the Change ; Time, Intereft and Conqueft
eflabliih new Culloms, they fet up new Principles of Edu-
cation, and proclaim new Maxims: The Conqueft of
IViUiam the Firft forc'd Englaftd to bow to new Cuftoins,
as well as new Mafters ; it abolifh'd the old Laws, toge-
ther with the antient Kings, and our Education became
French with our Govcrnours : Look where you will,
and you'll find Education always follow'd the Fortune
of the State, the Subverfion of this was a Prelude to the
Eilablifhment of that.

If therefore upon Inquiry we find the Inftindl of a
Godhaspafs'd untouch'd, through all the Revolutions" of
Times and Empires; if it has bore up againft the Fury
bf the mod barbarous Conqueror; what can we con-
clude, but that it is fix'd and rooted in Nature ; but that
God has ftamp'd this Charader of himfclf upon us, and
that it Iprings not from the Principles of Education ?
Now I have already demonftrated, that the Notion of a
God poilefs'd all Mens Minds from the beginning of

Ages i

7>^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed, 3^7

Ages; that it has flood immoveable, amidft all the Vicif-
fitudesof Time, and all the Turns of Fortune: Empires
have fallen either under the Weight of their own Great-
nefs, or the Fury of the barbarous Conquerors : Nations
have left Barbarity to take up Civility, and again aban-
don'd Civility to replunge into Barbarity ; they have quit-
ted their old Habitations to feek out new ones, and loft
their very Language with their Liberty: One Cultom
has jullled out another, and Time has wore out that to
make room for a third : Thefe ftrange Revolutions have
wrought no Change in the Belief of a Deity ; it has
furviv'd Empires, and prov'd more durable than the Co-
lojfus of Rhodes^ or the Temple of Diana j neither the
Corruption of Nature, nor all the vain Attempts of
Atheifts, have been able to banifh it from one Town,
Village, or Family : The Notion of a God has made
Mankind in all Ages, and in all Places fall before it, and
thofe Men who dare difpute againft him cannot forbear
to tremble. 'Tis then molt certain that either Man has
no natural Propcnfion, or that this Impreflion of a fu-
pream Being is one.

In the meantime I do not doubt, but Education may
limit our natural Inclinations, and rather tie them to
one Obje6t than another ; for though naturally all Men
propend to Pleafure, yet what is agreeable to fome, is not
toothers; what touches fmoothly my Organ, may grate
upon yours. Domitian delighted himfelf w^ith fticking
Flies, iVifro with driving Chariots; fome are for Vsnus^
others iox Bacchus : And this confining the univerfal Prin-
ciple rifes either from Education, or Conltitution, or
both. Again, though the Defire of Glory be natural and
univerfal, yet Education often affigns the Obje6l •■, and
hence it is, that Punctilio's vary with the Climate; fome
place their Glory in overcoming an Enemy, others in
pardoning him ; fome judge nothing more glorious than
to ride at the Head of an Army, to fack Towns, and
drive Defolation before them ; whilit others laugh at
their Folly, and rap'd up in Speculation, think it more
honourable to write of Wars, than to wage them : In a
'VJoxA^Theomachus^ you perchance perfuade your felf no-
thing can be more illultrious than to defy God, whilft
lam fatisfied the true Glory of every rational Creature
confills in Obedience to hixS Commands, and love to his

Perfctfi :

3^8 7hc Gentleman Injiru^'ed,

Perfon : Thefe are the Effedts of Education, they vafy
with the Meridian^ they become obfolete with Time,
and, hke Fafliions or Almanacks, grow out of Date.

Let us fty the fame of God j though the Perfuafion of
a God be engrafted in Nature, yet Education may contri-
bute to frame different Ideas of him, and to propagate
various Worfhips: Some People fell before a Crocodile^
others before a Red- Cloth; the Romans worfliip'd Men,
and ibme hdians the Devil: When once Ignorance had
. hatch*J thefe monftrous Ideas of God, and Authority had
given them Credit, Education Ipread the Errour, and
handed it down to Pofterity : But the Notion of a Divi-
nity preceded the Infedion of Education, and Men be-
licv'd a fupream Being and a true God, before they fet
up the Statues of a falle one.

I grant that the different Sedls which divide, and fub-
divide Chriftianity, owe their Propagation to Education;
(I me"an generally) and what wonder ? For Chriftianity
is a reveal'd Religion, its A-Iyfteries lie above the reach of
Nature, our Underftanding cannot come at them, God
himl'elf has been pleas'd to communicate them, he has
writ them on Paper, not onourHeaits, and we muft
hear them before we can believe them: Parents take care,
either by themfelves, or others, to inftill into their Chil-
dren the Principles of thofe Seds they profefs, and to
chufe for them a Religion before they can make any
Choice for themfelves: Thus moll Men enter upon their
Parents Religions, as they do upon their Eftates, and re-
folve that, which will convey them into an endlefs Mi-
fery or Happinefs, into meer Education : But the Exift-
ence of a God is printed in our N.uure ; we know it
without the Help of external Revelation or Preaching;
we are our own Scripture, our own Apoftles.

But do not think, I deny Education can have any part
in framing in us the Knowledge of a God; tho' it be na-
tural for a Mother to love her Children, and for a Child
to refped his Mother, yet Education concurs, this draws
up thofe reciprocal Duties in more lively Colours, and
puts thelaft Hand to the rough Draught of Nature: Juft
fo is our prefent Controveriy, tho' Nature leads us to
the Knowledge of a God, yet Education haftens it ; this
brightens oftentimes the Idea, and poliflies it with In-
ftrudlions and Precepts : Thus, my Lord, I have return'd

an

"The Gentleman Inftm^ed. ^6^

an Anfwer to your Objedlion, and without the lealt
Grain of Partiality prov'd, that Atheifls retreat in vain
to Education.

Theo. What you deny to Education cannot be refus'd to
PoHcy. This Whim of a God was liatch'd in fome Clo-
kt by a fecret Juudo of Statefmen. It firft illU'd from
the Court, and was probably ported into the Country by
Proclamation; Authority fent it Abroad, Fear kept it
Countenance, and at hft the Stamp of Sovereignty pro-
pagated it ; the Trick took marvelloufly j the Apprehen-
lion of a Deity, the Terrors of eternal Pains, with the
flattering Allurements of etern:il Plealure, aw'd the Sub-
je6t into Obedience and Submiffion; and then thefe Ef~
fedts, fo beneficial to Government, eafily perfuaded Prin-
ces to cherifti the Illufion, and to keep up the Impofture.

Eufeb. 'Good God ! That Men fhould be fo wile to de-
ceive themfelves ! Is the Belief of a God fo conducing to
the buo\ ing up of human Society ; fo neceflary for the
fupprefling of Diforders, and the Converiation of a juft
Suboroination ? 'Twere then to be wifh'd, at leaft, there
were fucii a Thing; and vv'ere I of the great Counfel of
the Nation, I would offer a Bill to both the Houfes for
the Extirpation of Atheifts, who endeavour to deprive the
State of fo excellent an Inftrument of Government. But
'tis ftrange, that Man, into whofe Soul Nature^ Chance
or Neceffity^ or what you think fit to call his originary
Gaufe, have breath'd fuch a Sympathy to Commerce,
fuch an Inclination to Society, fhould have left him fa
naked of thofe Materials that are neceffary for carrying on
any liable Correfpondence, that he is forc'd to have Re-
courfe to Fidlion, to fiie to Forgery, and to build the
whole Frame of mutual Communications on Cheats, that
are the Bane of Society, the Plague of Converiation, the
Difturbers of Peace, and declar'd Eneraies to Order.

Secondly^ What Machiavel firft rais'd this Spirit, that all
the Power of Wit pointed with Debauchery, has never
been able to conjure down ? what great NebHchodonozor
rear'd up this gigantick Statue of a Deity, and thencowi"
vnanded all People and Natium to fall down andworjh'tp it ?
Where did he keep his Court ? In what part of tJie World
did he reign? In what Olympiad did he live? A cre-
dible return to thefe few Queries might ppdibly make
fome ImprelTion on reafonable Men; ]^\x\.-niiHypQtheJis'm

B ti the;-

370 The Gentle ma!i Injiru^ed*

the Air, that wants the Prop of Proofs, that is fuflain'd
by meer Conje6ture or Poflibility, muft fall to the
Ground : Authority without Reafon makes but a lean
Figure, and if you intend to win our Faith, firft fubdue
our Underftandings.

Thirdly, If the Notion of a Deity be a meer Trick of
Statefmen, a fly Invention of Princes ; methinks they
fhould not ftartle at the Monfter, they only fram'd to af-
fright others; they may turn their Subject's Fears into Di-
verlion, as well as Profit, and applaud their Cunning for
this double Advantage of Obedience and Pleafure ; but
we fee the contrary ; Statefmen are no more fecure from
Throws of Confcience than the Mechatticks^ nor the
Prince than the Peafant ; the Terrors of a God often
rife with theC^^r^^^r; great Men m6ft dread his Juftice,
becaufe they moft ofFend his Goodnefs. I ask then, how
thofe who fourb'd others, become Dupes to their own
Ccatrivances ? If by State-Ma^hk ihey conjur'd up this
Phantom, why do they tremble¥t it ? Did all the Prin-
ces of the World die iKUftati, without making over this
great arcanum Imperii to their Succeflbrs ? Were they
cut off in one Night as the firft-born of Egypt ? Or did
they intomb this grand Secret with their Bodies? A Man
that can fwallow thefe Abfurditics, rather wants Helle-
bore than Arguments, and I would fooner recommend
him to z.PhyJician than a Philofopher.

Fourthly^ That Hero of your Faction, the great Mr.
Hobbs^ that able Politician, who wheedled himfelf firft,
and then a confiderable part of the Nobility out of Confci-
ence and Religion too: That Hobbs, I fay, who has left
us a Draught of Government, I mean of Atheiftical Po-
licy, in Folio : Who knows as little what he fays, as
what he believes, crofl'es upon your Syftem ; he rather
lays thcKnavery at theSubjeft'sDoor,th'an at thePrince's,
and affirms point Blank the fetting up of a God was
to drive home Liberty, and to pen up Sovereignty, to
countenance Difobedience, and to cUp the Wings of Au-
thority: Ft is impoj/ible, fays he, a Cummon-vjealih JJjould
fiand^ where any other but the Sovereign kath a Power of
giving greater Reward than Life^ and of infixing greater
Puntjhments than Death ; now feeing eternal Life is a
greater Reward than the Life prefent, and eternal Tor--
ment a greater Punijhment than the Death of Nature ^it is

a thing

^ ■

ne Gentleman InJlruBed, 371

A thing worthy to he well confider'd of all Men, that dejire
by obeying Authority to avoid the Calamities of Confujion
and Civil IVar^ and what is meant in Holy Serif ture by
Life eternal,andTorments eternal; and then he lays before
his Reader as fine a Scheme oi Life and Death eternal^ as
a Libertine can defire, or an Atheift invent : According to
this Gentleman, thole Princes that firft let up the Notion
of a God upon political Ends, were but puny Statifts,
they were as unacquainted with their Intereft as the Max-
ims of Ruling, for conftituting a fuperior Power, that
could reward more liberally, and punifh more feverely
than they ; they fuggefted new Pretences of Revolt to
their Subjedts, and ftiew'd a Secret till then unknown,
"viz.. that on Occafions they might war upon their Lea-
ders, not only without Sin, but even with Merit : For
in the Hypothejis of a God, this Maxim is evident, God is
to be obeyed before Man \^ now Experience teaches us, that
Knaves can eafily perfu^^ the Mob^ any Injundlion of a
Prince that lies a littleTOavy, is againft God, and when
once this Frenzy has feiz'd upon the Brains of the Vulgar,
they flie to Arms, they flay out of Zeal, they butcher
their Fellow- Subjedls out of Devotion, and veil the Pre-
rogative to Property, and the Crown to the Prong and
Pitch-fork : Thele, I fuppofe, are the Reafons that move
Mr. Hobbs to caution Princes againft Religion, to quefti-
on the Rewards of Virtue, and the Punifhments of Vice:
You fee how you recede from the Opinion of Mr. Hobbs,
and leave your Patriarch in the Lurch : It's unkind to
treat a Gentleman with fo little Ceremony, to whom you
owe fo much; he firft brought Atheifm into Credit, and
like the Giant in the Fable, firft war'd openly upon Vir-
tue, and then turn'd his Fury againft Heaven : He mo-
dell'd you into a kind of Society, who before rang'd about
the World like the wild Tartars or Arabians, without
Government or Order: 'Twas he firft rais'd Impudence
to a Science, Frenzy to Wit, and Infidelity to Religion:
From him you borrow your Errors, and even Arms to
defend them: Why then will you difoblige a Man to
whom your whole Fraternity Hands indebted ?

In a Word, the Belief of a Divinity could never be im-

pos'd on Mankirid by the Cunning of any Prince or

Statefman ; for when one Man attempts to ever- reach a-

nother, he has recourfe, without doubt, to Reafon ; now

B b 7, I can-

3 7 2 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed*

I cannot perfuade my ielf that Reafon can invent a
Cheat tliat Reafon cannot difcover ; for it's evident the
Belief of -a lupream Being carries Dread and Terror a-
long with it ; it humbles Pride, checks Lewdnefs, and
curbs the plealing Sallies of Senfuality ; it prefcribes Laws
;o Interelt, and Bounds to Pleafure, it reftratns Thoughts
no lefs than Actions ; tlien how can a Man in his Wits
prcfunie, that upon the bare Propolilion of the Do(ftnne,
without any fenous Exanien, without the Recommenda-
tion of plaulible Arguments, all Men fliould fwallow the
Impoilure, and vote the Being of a God at the Expence
of their darling and favourite Prerogative Liberty, of their
Qiuet and Tranquillity? Before you can admit fo palpa-
ble an Abfurdity, you mud fuppofe all Mankind flung
up their Reafon for Company-fake, or run mad to keep
up the Frolick : You muft fuppofe our Anceftors were
of another Species^ than we, that their Inclinations crofs'd
on ours, they plac'd their Pleafure not in Enjoyment but
Self-dcniul, their Liberty in Conftraint, and their Hap-
pinefs in 'Lrembling.

But if you fay they embrac'd the Tenets on Grounds
fallacious at Bottom, but glaz'd over with the pi au Able
Varnifh of Sophiftry and Paralogifm ; it's ftrange, that
Reafon after a hundred Attempts, for the fpace of many
Ages, has never been able to tear oft" the Difguife, or to
difcover the Fallacy that was contrived by Reafon t
And yet it is more aftonifhing, that the univerfiil Reafon
of Mankind has been wretchedly enfnar'd and blinded
to fo prodigious a Degree, as to take thofe Proofs for
reafonable and folid, which upon the Principles of Athe-
ifts were never able to give any rational Account of
God's Exiftence, either by his Efteds or Operations :
You cannot believe this, unlefs you believe that Reafon
it felf is unreafonable, or that the Reafon of all the
World was over-reach'd by that of one crafty Politician.
li you dare venture to clap in with this Abfurdity, I
muft confefs your Faith is facile and cowprehenfive in
fome Cafes, tho' ftreight-lac'd in others ; and you can-
not refufe to believe a God, unlefs you own it's in your
Power to believe what is morally impofiible, but not
what is highly credible. To conclude, you have un-
riddled the Secret ; it's a meer State- Engine^ you fay, a
petty Craft to fright fome, and flatter others into Obe-
dience ;

The Gentleman InJiruBed, 573

dience ; disband therefore your Fears, run from Confci-
ence, or out-grow it, place Good and Evil on the fame
Level, for nothing can be Evil below, unlefs there be a
fupream Law-giver above. A Child will fcream out at
its Nurle, under the Difguife of a Vizard, but take it oft',
and he turns the very Objed: of Fear into Flay and Di-
verlion 5 you have unmafk'd the Fourbery, you have dif-
cover'd the Impofture, why have }''ou lefs Afllirance than
a Child ; why lels Difcretion? Why do you Hill fweat
under the Awe of a Deity, and Ibmetirnes groan under
the Lafhes of Confcience ? If you have been gull'd into
- thefe Frights, difcourfe your felf outof them j Fear and
Remorfe are not very entertaining: If a Syllogifm or two
would rid you of thefe Incumbrances, I would have you
try Conclufions : But alas ! Your own Breaft confutes
your Pretenlions, vi'hen you affirm the Impreffion of a
God is nothing but a Trick, your Tongue trembles to-
gether with your Heart, and like a Criminal at the Bar,
you avow the Fa6l by a faint Denial.

Theo. Your Difcourfe amounts to this, that no Error
can invade and fubdue all Mankind : Now can any
thing be imagin'd more univerfal than Folytheifm ? Did
it not run through all Countries, as well as all Times? Did
it not fweep away the Rich with the Poor ; the Philofo-
pher with the Illiterate j and the Prince with the Pea-
sant ? Through what Gate did this profane Wo rfhip creep
into the World ? If many Gods may be foifted in, why
not one? Does the Greatnefs of the Abfurdity facilitate
the Impofture ? Becaufe a Plurality of Gods {hocks Rea-
fon more than an Unity, can Reafon eafier overlook the
Contradiifton ? Does the Cheat lie out of Sight, becaufe
a Child may difcover it ?

Eufeb. Polytheifm, tho' it fpread wide, was never
univerfal : We know as fure when it was not, and when
it begun, as paft Tranfadions can be known : The Me-
mory of things paft can only run down to us through the
Channel of Tradition ; Authors both Sacred and Pro-
phane mark its Origin ; it takes its Rtfe from the Tower
oi Babel, and the firft Emperor was metamorphos'd into
the firft Deity : Nor did it infcift all People ; fome Mil-
lions of Jews detefted the Sacrilege, and tJiere are ma-r
ny probable Conjectures in fpite of the Sorbone, that the
Worlhip of one God continu'd in China two thoufand
■ B b 3 Years:

374 -^^^ Gentleman InJiriiBed.

Years: Bui however, fince the Birth of Chriftianity, Po-
ly theifm has loft Credit and Empire, it only reigns
where Ignorance and Barbarity domineer, and thofe
poor Creatures hug the Cheat who are willing to be de-
ceiv'd.

Moreover, the Philofophers and wife Men of all Ages
and Countries receded from the Multitude in this mon-
ftrous Veneration : Flato confefs'd he was a Folytheijt
when he fpoke in jeft, but a 'Theift when he fpoke in ear-
neft : Cicero rallies the StateTi6fo/o^y,and drolls upon thofe
Gods in his Books he ador'd in the Capitol : Seneca bur-
lefques the Multiplicity of Divinities ; and, in a Word,
all the Heathen Divines as well as Poets, evidently demon-
ftrate, that thofe believ'd in many Gods, who foUow'd Cu-
ftom, and thofe in one who obey'd Reafon : So that,
tho' the wife Men were not guilty of the Error, they were
of the Sin, becaufe they fwam down the Stream with the
Vulgar, they burnt Incenfe to Stones, offer'd Vifcims to
Statues, and approv'd in their Adtions what they con-
demn'd in their Judgment.

Nay, if we believe Tertulliaft, the very Multitude ia
their fudden Frights look'd up to Heaven, not the Capi-
tol; and invok'done God, not many: Whence vi^e may
draw with him this Inference, that Nature profefs'd one
God, whillt Corruption and Ignorance allovv''d of thirty
Thoufand : But belides, in vain you beg univerfally of
the Vulgar ; the Vote of the Multitude feparated from the
Approbation of the wife, is no more to be regarded than
the Opinion of Bethlenis ; their Authority can be of no
greater Weight than that of Children, who have Reafon,
but cannot ufe it : They know as little what they do, as
why ; they aft by no other Rule than Pafiion or Cuftom ;
like frighted Sheep one treads on the Heels of another,
and the Miftake of the firft is folio w'd by that of the
whole Flock: In fine, they judge at Random, take things
upon Truft, and ftamp Truth and Falfhood with the fame
Impreflion ; and fo leave us no A-Iarks to difcover the
Impofture.

But again, your Argument is fo far from enervating
my Difcourfe, that it confirms it : People had never a-
dor'd falfe Gods, had they not been firft perfuaded there
was a true one ; as a Pidture fuppofes fome real Original,
fo a counterfeit Excellency fuppofes a real one : Who

would

lloe Gentleman InftruM, S7S

would counterfeit Guineas if there was no fuch Coin ?
Or cheat the World with falfe Diamonds if there were
no true ones in Nature ? The Heathens ador'd falfe Gods?
I think we may therefore with a great deal of Proba-
bility infer, that Nature taught them there was a true
one.

Now it's no hard Task to convince a Man that will
ftoop to Reafon, that Polytheifm might eafily be fet on
Foot by Craft, Policy, or Corruption, though the Belief
of one God could not: Firft, To latisfy the Senfes, Men
made God Vijible : Secondly, To content the Imagination,
that could not cro\vd all the Perfections of God in one
Idea, they mukiply'd the Divinity ; then Blindnefs
growing upon them with the Superltition, ihofe things
that were intended to reprefent his Perfections were ap-
plied to Men ; and then Darknefs feiz'd upon them to
that Degree, that they deified Difeafes, and' ador'd thofe
Obfcenities in their Temples, they durft not name in
civil Company. Lajily, To favour their Paffions, and to
give full Wing to unreafonable Appetites, they placed \
Adulterers in Heaven, Strumpets on Altars, and ador'd
all Vices, that they might be exempt from the Praftice
of all Virtues ; for who durft condemn what they ador'd ;
or punifh what they worfhip'd? What Crime might not
be committed at Home u^ith Honour and Impunity, that
was reverenc'd in the Temples with Proftitution and
Vidims ?

But if this Account does not pleafe you, pray attend,
and 1 hope you will receive full Satisfadhon. Polytheifm
is a Sin of the deepeft Dye, and • therefore we cannot
imagine Men plung'd into the very depth of Wicked-
nefs without previous Difpoiitions. Crimes, like natural
Bodies, do not fhoot out in a Moment, but leifureiy : Ne»
mo repentefitpojfimus. Idolatry like all other monftrous Of-
fences came upon us by Degrees ; iirft Men carv'd Sta-
tues, then they honour'd them, and, in fine, ador'd them ;
and as the Caufe of making them was various, fo that of
deifying them was alfo: A Father, fays the wife Maa^
afflidled with untimely Mourning, when he had made
the Image of his Child taken away, now honoured him
as a God, which was then a dead Man ; and fome fell
into fo defperate an Ignorance, as to ereft Statues and
Altars to thofe very Perfons they mourn'd for ; they con-
B b 4 itituted

^y6 The Gentleman InjlruBed.

ftjtuted Ceremonies for the Dead as Cures for the Gritf
of the Living. Sacra faiia fant quce fuerunt ajfumpla So-
latia. Min. Felix.

In fome Places Idolatry, fprung from the Pride of Prin-
ces, who fubftituted their Statues to fupply their Frefence,
and commanded their Subjeds to pay tlieir Reprefenta-
tive the Refpedl due to their Perfons ; and this Worfhip,
though civil in its Origin, fwelFd into Adoration by tlic
fervile Flattery of fome, and the ftupendious Biindnefs
of others; and v^'hen once the Gate flew open to Illufion,
Idolatry rufli'd into the World like a Torrent, and bore
down all before it. Nebuchodonozo'r would be ador'd
whilfl he liv*d : Alexander obtain'd Worfhip of the Fer-
fians^ but could not of his Macedonians ; thefe to fet up
their Valour would never own their King was a God,
the others deified their Conqueror to palliate the Shame
of their Defeat ; The Roman C<cfars lov'd rather to be
fear'd while they liv'd, than adored ; they would firft- die
before they would be thought immortal, and pretended
no right to Sacrifices till Death cut oft' all Claim to Go-
vernment; but then the ignorant Multitude and fawning
Magiftrate plac'd their Princes above the S"tars, and built
Temples to thofe whom they ftabb'd in the Senate, or
flung into the Common-fhores.

In other Places, Polytheifm and Idolatry came from
Gratitude; the People dedicated Statues to thofe famous
Men, who firfl founded their Cities, or improv'd them,
who fram'd Laws, or invented Arts ; and in Procefs of
Time, the exterior Marks ©f Gratitude became Divine
Worfliip: If you doubt of thefe Occafions, let me re-
commend to your perufal LaSiantius., Philaflrius., Amo-
btus and Mm. Felix., and I am confident you will urge no
more for Satisfaction : Now if you ask me why the No-
tion of one God could not be impos'd on Mankind by
Ignorance, Stupidity and Cuftom,aswell as Idolatry and
Polytheifm 5 I can only defire you to fpend a Moment's
Refledion on what I have faid already.

Theo. I perceive then you will not admit it poffible,
that sny Error can be univerfal : Pray do not balance
plain Matter of Fa<fl with Speculation. Did not all the
^orld believe the Antipodes impoflible? And do not the
C^wwj of all Nations to this Day, take the Moon or Sun
fu be ten times bigger than the fix' d Stars ?

Erifelf,

^he Gentleman Injiru^ed. 377

Eufeb. Whether an Error can be univerfal or no, is
not my Concern; xhd' Anjlutle denies it, andtho' it can
never be made out by any Faft, that fuch an Error is
poffible, yet if a Confeflion will be any Advantage to
yourCaule, pray take it; however, I maintain, thatth>J^
Perfuafion of a God cannot pofTibly be fuch ; and I think'
that the Afiertion is made pretty clear already ; yet to
fatisfy Doubts, and to cut off all Reply, I add an Argu-
ment, which has all the Appearance of Convidion.

There is a natural Light in Man's Underilanding, that
never deceives him ; but then there is a Prejudice that al-
ways does; were we exempt from this, we fhould fel-
dombe in the wrong; and were we diverted of that, we,"
fhould never be in the right ; we cannot throw our Mi-
ftakes on any in-bred Quality of the Intelleift, for then
falfe Judgments would be natural to it, and fo we might
take up with the Scepticks, and doubt of all Things, or
rather we fhould be allured of this alone, that we were
always in Error.

There are two Sources of Error, the one exterior,
which may be rediic'd to Example, Education^ zndSo-
phijlry ; thefe exercife a ftrange Empire on the Under-
ftanding, they impofe upon it to Admiration, and almoft
force it into Error by propofing Obje(51:s under fiilfe
Light : Hence it comes, that Lewdnefs in hot Countries,
and Drunkennefs in cold, pafs for Peccadillo's, altho' in
themfelves they are great Offences: The interior Caufes
are three, the Sefifes, ImagiMatiofi, and PaJJion, and any
of thefe are able to propole things in borrowed Colours,
and reprefent them to the Underftanding quite different
from themfelves; thus a Star having been reprelented to
us from our Cradle no bigger than a Candle, we have
found fome Difficulty to be difabufed, not being able to
reconcile the fmall Idea we take from our Senfe, to that
vaft one we receive from Reafon ; our Imagination has
been fo employ'd in Matter, that it gives even Spirits its
Properties ; we- are no more able to imagine our Souls
without Extenfion, than a Mountain without a Valley ;
the Will being engag'd by Paffion, biaffes the Under-
ftanding, and forcing it to judge true whatever ftands for
our Advantage, leads us into a thoufand Errors ; and then
'tis very hard to difcover the Miftake, when 'tis our
Intereft to be deceiv'd: Now, I fay, the unlverfal

Belief

378 ^he Gentleman Infiru^ed.

Belief of a God cannot be afcribed cither to the exte-
rior Caufes of Error, or to the interior: The firft of
the AiTertion ilands firm on thofe Reafons I have alrea-
dy brought ; the fecond I prove beyond a PoiTibiHty of
doubting.

The Behef of a Deity cannot with any Colour of Rea^
fon be fuppos'd to flow from any of thefe general Ori-
gins of Illufion ; if it be rather contrary than conform-
able to them, if they rather prompt us to believe there is
no God, than that there is one j for what Error can
fpring from thofe Caufes, that have no Proportion to it,
that rather ftilie than foment it ? Now, I appeal to
Atheifts themlelves, whether they owe not a great part
of their criminal Incredulity to Senfe, Imagination, and
Corruption of Heart ; they have been folong accuftom'd
to juggle by Senfe, that they feem to have loft the Fa-
culty of Reafoning; they reje6l as Sophiftry or empty
Speculation whatever cannot fall under Senfation ; they
tell us, they cannot admit God to be theOhje6l of their
Faith, becaufe he cannot be that of their Senfe; their
Imagination is loft in the Survey of his Eternity and
Immenlity, they cannot frame to themfelves any toler-
able Idea of his Eiience, nor what he did, nor where he
w&s before the World's Creation; and then this Nonplus
of the Imagination puzzles the Underftanding, and fa
they deny his Being, becaufe they do not conceive his
Effence, Attributes, and Occupation : In fine, the taint-
ed Inclinations that tyrannize over the Heart, level all
their Engines ag;-.!nft God's Exiftence, becaufe thisTruth
curbs their Infolence, and if it does not corrett their Ir-
regularity, atleaft it abates their Violence.

Let therefore all the World, if you pleafe, for many
Ages deny \ht Antipodes ^XtiXh&m h&\\e\tl\\e firjl Stars are
no bigger than the Flame of a Taper, or that the Moon
equals the Sun ; the very Hypothejis favours me ; thisuni-
verfal Miftake aiiures me almoft above Demonftration,
that thofe who confefs a God are not deluded : Yor fix
thoufand Years the Senfes have brought negative Argu-
ments againft the Exiftence of a Divinity. Imagination
has conjur'd up a hundred Difficulties, and thrown as
many Prejudices in our way, the extream Wickednefsof
moft Men has made no God their Intereft, andithascon-
quer'd their Defires, and corrupted thefe Wifhes : Yet in

fpight

'the Gentleman Inftni^ed, 37^

fplght of Senfe, in fpight of Imagination, maugre all
the Bribes of Senfuality, the Flattery of Appetite, and
Violence of Paffions, that always raife Doubts in the
Face of Evidence, in the Prefence of Demonftration, the
Belief of a God has flood unfhaken, it has fubdu'd the
jnoft obdurate, enlighten'd the moft itupid, fcar'd the
moft profligate, and overcome the moft rebellious ; all
Nations, in all Ages, have acknowledg'd his Being, and
.even thole who pretend to be Atheifts cannot clear them-
felves of Doubts; their Fears are more certain than their
Judgment, and they quake before the Nothing they
laugh at.

Judge now whether the Belief of a God can be the
Effedt of Prejudice, feeing it was upon the very Princi-
ples of Error, and maintain its Empire over the Judg-
ments of Men, meerly becaufe no Prejudice can with-
ftand it. I conclude therefore, this univerfal Confent,
this harmonious Concord of Men in Cuftoms different,
oppofite in Intereft, and almoft contrary the one to the
other in Complexion, as well as Fearures, cannot pro-
csed from any Thing, but the Conviction of a Truth
God breath'd into our Souls when he efpous'd them to
our Bodies; he twifted it with our Nature, and fo has
fenc'd it againft theAflaultsof Time, Cuflom and In-
clination; he hasafi'ur'd it againft the falfe Intelligence of
Senfe, and the confounding Impreflion of Imagination:
You may as foon debauch the Sun out of the Zodiacky
as this indelible Truth out of your Heart, or difpute an
JEjtliiopian white, as reafon a God into a Chimera : No
Armour is Proof againft the Point of this Truth, there is
no Shelter againft the Force of this invincible Argument.
Opinionum comment a debt dies. Naturajudicia confirmat .
Time wears out the Fiction of Opinions, and unmasks
the Falfity of ill-founded Perfuafions ; but then it cor-
roborates the Didlates, confirms the Judgments of Na-
ture; and when a Notion has ftood the Trial of all Na-
tions, and endur'd the Teft of all Ages, 'tis a Sign it
fprings from Nature, not from Caprice or lUulion.

DIA^

3 S 0 The GENTLEK4AN Injli^uifed.

DIALOGUE XV.

From the uaiverfal Confent of Nations,, it follows^ that
this Propojitiotj, there is a God, ca» be no mare doubt-
ful than this^ there was fuch a Man as Ccefar.

T'heom.'SJ' O U fancy, I fuppofe, I am come over to
"*- you, and turn'd a thorough- pac'd Convert;
you have ply'd me fufficiently with Words, but not at all
with Reafons.

Eufeb. *Tiseafier to afperfe Truth, than to confute it :
When I began the Conference, if you remember, I en-
gag'd my felf to give you convincing Proofs of a God,
but not Wit to underftand them : I have done my Part,
and if they make no ImprefTion, you muft accufe either
your Incapacity or Obftinacy, not the Weaknefs of the
Argument. A Man that has no Eyes, orfhuts'em, may
grope in the dark at Noon-day, and if he blunders into
a Precipice, he muftdifcharge the Sun, and lay his Mif-
fortuneon thelndifpofition of the Organ, or the Folly of
his own Will : I have difcover'd Truth, and laid it as
open as Demonftration will permit, now you very grave-
ly tell me, you can't difcern it ; you may at the fame
Rate accufe Euclid^ and turn his Demonflrations into
Paralogifms, you may fay Pythagoras has ftiam'd human
Reafon with his famous Difcovery, and that he was too
liberal when he gave a Hecatomb for a Sophifm. I tell
you again, Ihavenotaflaulted your Judgment with Fal-
lacy or Sophifm, but with naked Truth : A Child may
fee it, and no Man of Reafon can deny it; it's too evident
to be overlook'd, and too ftrong to be withflobd ; you
may as well doubt whether there was fuch a Prince as
Cafar^ as call in queftion the Being of a Deity.

Theo. Hold there : I no more doubt of dtfar's Being,
than pf my own; it's not in my Power to diilent from
either.

Efifeb. I fuppofe you make this publick Confeflion to
avoid Singularity, or that fome under-hand Defign has a
greater Stroak in your Confeflion, than Convidion.

I'heo.

fhe Gentleman Injru£fel 3S t

Tkeo. Nothing but Evidence draws out the Confeffion,
t cannot doubt when Demonftration alTures me, and I
mud waver, if bareConjeftures fupport me.

Eufeb Pray, by which Propofuion of Mathematicks
do you demowftrate C<efar was ?

Theo. You are in a Vein of Bantering furely; paft Mat-
ters of Fact neither require, nor are capable of Mathe-
matical Proofs, they are not to be made out by Signs or
Tangents^ they ftand on -the 2J<?/?j- of Authority, and are
only convey'd to our Knowledge by Tradition: Now I
fuppofe the joint Confent of all Men, and all Ages, is
able to make any paft Tranfadion credible.

EufeL Your Arithmetick runs too high; what do you
talk of all Men ? The tenth Part of Mankind has heard
Icfs of defar^ than of Domingo's Voyage to the Moon :
If you fend Hue and Cry after this great Conqueror into the
Country, nine Parts of ten will take him fooner for a
Highway-man, than an Emperor, and rather fuppofe he
had taken a Purfe, than conquer'd the World : Other
Countries of Europe are as little acquainted with this
Hero as ours : He is abfolutely loft to China and yapan ;
his Feats never fwarm over into America^ and his Obfcu-
rity even in Afia and Africa is far greater than his Renown ;
his Memory is only confin'd to Books, it lives among
Pedants and School- Boys.

Iheo. 'Tistrue, but the Tradition, tho' not phyfically
univerfal, is morally fo ; and this fuffices to make the
Fa<Sl certain.

Eujeb. Nay, Sir! I am abfolutely for you, anddidyou
not believe there was fuch a Man as C^Jar, I fhould
perfuade you to turn Anchoret, to take up in Foreftsj
and forfwear all human Society ; for in Reality, you
will be as ill rigg'd out for Converfation as Buffloes or
Buzzards \ but then ifuponlefs Grounds you believe
there has been fuch a Man as Cafar, why do you refufe
to believe a God upon greater?

Theo. What ! Do you pretend the Motives that prove
a God are more cogent, than thofe that prove Ctefar
has been?

Eufeb. I do : For not a tenth Part of the World has
ever heard of Cafar, and every Man from the firft Ori-
gin of Things, I fay, every Man that has been able to
difcaurfe, to liuk together Antecedents and Confequences,

has

38a ^he Gentleman hiftruBed.

has confefs'd there is a fupream Being ; fo that if we ap-
peal to Number, and put the Ifllie of the Controverfy to
Vote, the Being of a God carries the Day: As there is
not Proportion between the Authority thatftands for Cce-

far, and that which flands for God j fo there can be no
Companion between the Certainty of one, and of the
other.

" ..Befides, thok who tUteHC afar ^as^ee», hadnolnte-
teft to deny it ; they got no more by his Being, than by
his not Being ; the one did not advance their Fortune,
nor the other recoil it: But a confiderable part .of thofe
who avouch for a God, were interefted in his KoiBeingy
they were Men funk in Lewdnefs, and loft in Debauche-
ry, their Hands were dy'd in Blood, Rapine and Sacri-
lege, and their Hearts defil'd with the moft crying Abo-
minations ; they wifh'd there were no God, becaufe
they liv'd as if there were none ; their Intereft voted
him down, yet their Judgments could not. The Rack
of their wounded Confciences told them, there was a
God; and though they apprehended his Juftice, they had
not the Boldnels to difown it : If therefore thofe Men
deferve more Credit who fpeak againft their own Inte-
refts, than thofe who do not, this fingle Circumftance
makes the Being of God more certain than that of
Cafir.

Theo. There is Excedem and Exceffum ; if we go to
polling, you may perchance gain the Suit, but if to Evi-
dence, the Caufe is mine. The Authority of a few built
on Evidence weighs ten times more than the Authority
of many deftitute of Reafon. Thus the Cafe ftands be-
tween you and me ; more witnefs for God, than for
Cafar ; but then the Authority of thofe who maintain a
God is fupported by Fancy alone and Caprice.

Eufeb. That is, all Men efpoufed the Belief of a God
without Reafon. What ! Can a Man affirm fuch an ama-
zing Impofiibility, and boggle at any Thing? A wife
Man may fometimes be ivnpos'd on by fub tie Appear-
ances, he may grafp a Shadow for the Subftance, and
take counterfeit Reafon, as well as adulterate Coin : But
to Hiy all Mankind took up the Belief of a God on a
Frolick, without Reafon, nay, againft the Intereft of the
greater Part, is to fuppofe them ftruck at ,a clap with
the Spirit of Folly and Madnefs ; 'tis to fuppofe them

irrational,

The Gentleman Injiru^ed. 3S3

irrational, and by Inference, not Men; and what can
Fancy frame more prodigious, than that a Man of Parts
(hould believe this epidemical Lunacy without any
Ground or Reafon. K Caprice has fent about this FroHck;
if it has polled it away to every Corner of the habitable
World ; methinks we have right to expeft it may play
little Pranks in things of another Nature. Why have
the Gentry never yet flung "Tewbhury Muftard Balls into
their own Houfes, and tofs*d the Frenzy thro' the whole
Nation ? Why have they never confpir'd the Ruin of
Vintners by withdrawing their Cuftom, or fupprefs'd the
Ifjtts of Court by compoling Law Suits a /' amiable ?
Could we fee Aflbciations carry on thefe petty Froiicks,
we might perchance have fome Inclination to think more
univerfal were poflible, but till you give me an Inftance,
you mull pardon my Incredulity.

Now 'tis time to take into Conlideration your pre-
tended Advantage: The Proofs for Ccefarh Being are re-
folv'd, fay you, into the Evidence of Senfe, thofe for
God's Exillence are not ; therefore the Authority that
Hands for C<?/^r, exceeds that which Hands for God, in
the fame Proportion that Certitude drawn from the Per-
ceptions of Senfe, furpafles the Certitude taken from any
other Faculty.

F/V/?, Suppofing the Evidence which Hands for Cafar
be greater, 'tis falfe Logick to conclude, that the Evi-
dence of a God, grounded on the moll univerfal Confent
that ever was in the World, is infuflicient to fecure a
wife Man from Doubt : For certainly fomething below
fupream Evidence will fuffice; and if you will not grant
me this, it evidently follows, you can be fure of nothing
. but what you fee ; for the Experience of your own Eyes
is ten times more convincing than that of another, let
it be apply'd to you by the mod full Authority that can
be imagin'd.

Secondly, You cannot refufeyour Alient to the Exill-
ence of a God upon account that the univerfal Autho-
rity of Mankind is not founded on Senfation : For then
you undermine and blow up the Foundation of Atheifm^
and apojiatize from Incredulity ; for cither you are an
Epicurean, ox Arijiotelian A\ht\^^ id eft, you believe the
World was composed by Chance of Atoms, or was ab
4Sterm: Take which you pleal'ej if the firft, pray tell

me.

384 ^he Gentleman Injlnuied,

me, did you ever fee thofe Atoms ? Did you ever viev^
their Motion? Was you prefent when they danc'd the
Hay \ or product the World by a Turn of Baruaby ?
Did at leaft either Evicums or Democrltus afTure their
Scholars they law this Scuffle? Can they tell us the
T^'ames of their Generals; the Number of their Squa-
drons, or Battalions? How long.the Conflict killed? And
upon what Articles the Peace was agreed on ? If the fe-
cond, I defire to know what ocular Certainty you have
of the World's Eternity; could any Man be prefent at
this ftrange Production before he was, id eft^ could he
exifl before Eternity? Thefe Things go down with'
yf;^f//?i without chewing, \^\yhowlexamen \ they believe
'em, tbo' no Body ever law 'cm, and what is yet more
admirable, without any Authority to recommend 'em,
nay, in fpite of Autiiority, and againft the moft evi-
dent Conviction of Reafon ; but when the Quellion is to
believe a God upon the univerfal Confent of all Nations,
back'd with all the Force of Reafon, they beg our Par-
don, they cannot captivate their Underitanding to the
Belief of a thing that has never been feen? Is this to
build on Principles ? Yet, without doubt, you treat
Principles as the Presbyterians did the Government in
Forty-Two^ who pretended to fettle it on a ftable Bot-
tom, yet fairly over-turn'd it.

Thirdly^ Did you not tell me, you requir'd fuch Proofs
only for a God as the Matter was capable of? That he
mull be a Fool or a Madman, that would not believe
there was fuch a Place as Conjimtinople^ unlefs it could
be demonltrated by Mathematicks ; or deny'd a God,
becaufe he did notice him ? For to believe the Being of
Conjiantinople upon no other Terms than DemonJlraiioK^
or of God upon no Evidence but that of Senle, is to
require a Convidion not poflible; for God cannot be
feen by a corporeal Eye, nor can the Being of Conjianti-
tiopk be evidenced hy Euclid: So that the Authority for a
God cannot be enervated, becaufe it is notrelblv'd into
Senfe : For fuppofe he didexift, and llriv'd to manifefl:
himifelf to Mankind, he never could expofe his.Eilence
to the Eye, fo that you muft either fay fuch a corporeal
Teflimony is not neceflary for a thorough Convidlion of
his Being, or that his Omnipotency cannot fufficiently
manifeft it j take which you will j that cuts off your Re-
treat,

'7'he Gentleman InJiruBcd. 385

treat, and this plunges you into the Abj'fs of Abfurdity
and Blafphemy.
Fuuriblv^ Though Cafar was the Objefl of Senfe, this
^ Circumftancc cannot poflibly have any Infiuenccon your
BtXiei : This ftands meerly on the Balis of Authority ;
for if I ask you, why you beheve there was fuch a Adan
zsCaJar"^. You mult anfwer, becaufe Tully and othtis
liv'd and convers'd with him : If I enquire farther, how
you know they liv'd and convers'd with him ? .You muft
reply, becaufe they fay fo in their Writings : So that the
ultimate Motive of your Belief is their Authority, partly
deriv'd to you by their Books, partly by the concurring
Teftimony of intervening Ages; and this will appear
more palpably, if we fuppofe T^lly and the reft of thole
Authors, who tell us they were particularly acquainted
with C^y^r, in reality never knew him, and fo nnpos'd
on the next Age, which propagated the Cheat by a con-
tinual Tradition down to our Days : For flill in this Hy~
pothejis you would believe there was fuch a Man.as defara
Why? Becaufe you have the fame Authority; fo that
their feeing dvfar, or not feeing him, has no Influence
on your Afcent, their Word and Credit alone fways your
Judgment.

But, Laftly, I fay that God hath been both feen and
heard, as much as a Spirit can poflibly beof thofe Senfes,
and fo the Authority of a God is not only of a farther
extent than that for Ca:far, but it alfo leans on Reafon ;
and what makes moft for our prefent Purpofe, on the
Evidence and Convidion of Senfe.

'Theo. This indeed is a hardy Undertaking, and worthy
of fuch a Hero ; if you bring it to a happy Conclulion,
you will undermine Atheifm., or at leaft confound it :
But I doubt of the Succefi', and I fear your Enterprize
will vaniOi into Mifcarriage.

Eufeh. For all that. Sir, I do not defpond : Your pro-
phetick Enthufiafm will prove in the End as fallible as
your Reafons, and you will be as much out of your
Prognofticatlon, as your Philofophy.

I will not here infill upon all the Appearances God has
been pleas'd to make in this World, finee he created it :
I fingle out one, which Infidelity it fcrif muft believe :
'Tis recorded in the iQth Chapter of Exodus^ and hap-
pen'd tl'ieeMorithsafter that miraculous Ddiveiy of the

C c Chi\-

3 S 5 The Gentleman Infjru^ed.

Chikiren of Ifracl from the Servitude of the Egyptian-.
I do not pretend to impofe this Book on your Belief, as
the Word of God ; you might then perchance accufe
me of your own Faulrj--, and fay I only prove the TheJ'n by
beii;(2;ing the Qi_ie(lion in Debate : Take it as a Story, and
fling it not among tliC Fables, till you have prov'd it one.
When the Holt of //r^^/, fays MfjJ'es, came into the
Dclart of Si/ia^ it cncamp'd in the fame place, jufl againft
the Mountain ; tlTen God commanded Mofes to tell the
People, that within three Days he would defcend upon
the Mountain, atid talk to the Army: The third Day the
Clouds began togather,Thunder roar'd, Lightning flafh'd,
and celeflial Trumpet itruck all the Army with Fear and |
Amazement ; then God came down in the Shape of
Fire, and tlie whole Mountain open'd a Scene of Terror ;
the Army trembled, and all the jews funk under the aw-
ing Majefty of their Creator; they heard his Voice, they
faw the Flames that environ'd him, they were both daz-
zled and frighted with Iiis Glory, and fo deputed Mofes to
know his V/ill, and to receive his Commands: He took
his Brother Aaron^ and Seventy-two others, v/ho all faw
the God of Ifrac! ; he trod on a Footftool compos'd of
■Sapphires like a ferene Sky. This is in Subftance the
Narration of A/'^f;, and the Circumftances of this glori-
ous Apparition : It could not be a Trick of State to
fright the Mobile into Obedience, no fubtle Invention
contriv'd in a Clofet, or rcfolv'd on at a Counfel-Table ;
here was no acfting under Board, or out of Sight, three
Millions of A'len were Spedators, and that they might
not afterw^^rds take it for a Dream, or fufpecSt it forlUu-
fion, it continu'd manv Days ; lb that they had time for
Examen and Griticifm.

Now I argue thus ; there was, you fay, fuch a A'lan
as Cffar, and you believe it, becaufe that Tradition,
which conveys down to you this Truth, is rcfolv'd into
Senfe, which cannot be deceiv'd ; but a more univerfal
Tradition conveys down to us the Being of a God, and
this may be alfo refolv'd into Senfe; therefore the Autho-
rity for a God is greater than that for Ctefar ; therefore,
if upon Authority refolv'd into Senfe, you believe there
. was fuch a Man as defar, upon a more univerfal Autho-
rity refolv'd alfo into Senfe, you may and ought to believe
there is a God,

Tho,

71)e GmrLEMAii IfiJ^ru^ed. 387

T'keo. I fuppofe, if there be a God, he is neither Smoak
nor Fire ; if then thofe old Gentlemen favv Smoak and
Fire only, they could not fee God 3 nay, he is neither
made of Sapphires, nor falls under Shape or Figure.

Eufeh. What does this Anfwer prove, but that Atheifts
ufe their Reafon to abufe it ? You cry out for Evidence
of Senle, I fend you to Mofes for Satisfaction, you read
a Piece of the 19th Chapter, (hut the Book, and then
with great Ccolnefs tell me, the Jfraelites favv not God,
■but Fire and Smoak ; and 'tis truej but God was under
that Fire and Smoak; he has no Organs, yet fram'd a
Voice ; and how will you have him manifell himfelf to
Senfe, but by fomething that lies within the Sphere of
Senfe? Alas, Sir, a Spirit is too thin to entertain our
Eyes or Ears, 'tis removed out of their Ken ; the one
faftens on Colours, and the other on Sound, and both
bring us Intelligence from Matter: If fuch Evidence will
not fatisfy you, all I can fay is, Atheifts are a ftubborn
Generation, and nothing but Hell-Fire will render them
fupple ; we may pray for them indeed, but can^pt hope
to convert them.

But, Sir, thofe Gentlemen who convers'd withCi^^r,
what did they fee ?

Theo. What fhould they fee but Cccfar"^

Eufeh. Was Cxfar a Subltance, or a Complex of Ac-
cidents ?

- Theo. You have left the Pulpit to fit in the Chair of
theScorner; becaufe you cannot reafon me into an Im-
pertinence, you will try to laugh me into one. Well,
Cicfar was a Subftance, as we are.

Eufeb. I fuppofe he was neither Colour nor Sound. '

Theo. That is certain.

Eufeb. And pray what have you ever feen but Colour j
or what have you ever heard but Sound r By your own
Confeflion, therefore, Cafar has neither been l-aen or
heard: So that we are ftill upon pretty equal Terms. I
do not fay this Comparifon runs on all tottr, there may
be found fome Difparily, but it will not invalidate the
Retortion : P'or I find no Difference, but that thoie Ac-
cidents Civf.ir appear'd under, v.'ere natural to him^
whereas thole that invcfted the Divinily were not,

Theo. Pray fatisfy a Doubt or two; the Story is ftaie,
and being tofs'd about three thoufind Years, Drobably

C; rz ' ' loft

* m

a S 8 fhe -Gentleman Injlni^ed.

lofl: nothing. Again, this ftrange Pailage might be foifted
into the Text by a crafty Rabbi ; and in Time, what
Afilin'mce have you the Fadl is true?
. Etifch. Ftrjl^ The S'tory is ancient ; true : But then Anti-
quity and Truth are not 1 hope incompatible ; though Pi-
ctures may milVeprefent by Nearnefs orDiftance, Hiftory
has no fuch nice Point as Profpedive: If it had, Atheifm
■wou)d lie under no favourable Circumftances, it would
have no Play for it felf, no, not the Skirmifh of Atoms,
or the World's eternal Duration : For without doubt,
the Battle between thefe invifible Legions was fought be-
fore *^(y/c;'s Days; and then 'tis pretty clear, Eternity is
of a ftaler Date than E.xadus: If therefore the Antiquity
of the Story ftartles your Belief, the Relation of the
World's Beginning by the fortuitous Coition of Atoms,
or its independent Exiftence from Eternity puzzles mine :
'Tis ridiculous and unreafonable to except againft a Fadt
or Book, meerly becaufe they are ancient ; for if the
Exception be receivable, you muft fling up all Right to
your CijjJ'ar^ we muft fhake Hands with Livy, giving up
Plutarcij, and confine our Reading as well as Credit to
new Almanacks or Gazettes.

Again, a Fa6t that has brav*dTime, that hasftood the
Criticifm of four thoufand Years, and triumph'd over all
the Examens of intervening Ages, carries a certain Air of
Truth, that m,akes Impreflion on the moft obdurate Un-
derftanding ; whereas upftart Fads are rather examin'd
by Paffion than Reafon, they are maintain'd and deny'd
by oppofite Interefts; both fides raife a Duft, and then
in the Dark 'tis hard to diftinguifh Truth from Falfhood-
The very Story I mention'd has fharpened the Pens and
exercis'd the Wits of all Ages ; all thofe Pagan Philofo-
phers thatentred the Lifts againft Chriftianity, firftftruck
at the PentateHch^xhQy aim'd at the Jewip'Lzvj^ to wound
tha.1 o^Jefus Chrtjl ; but their Attempts were baulk'd,
they fell in the Enterprize ; and when they could not dis-
prove the Fa6l, they blacken'd it, and afcribed that to
the Power of Magick, which could only be the EfFe6l of
the Omnipotent. You have the Liberty to fteer by
their Example, you may father this Apparition on the
Devil, but then what will you gain but Confufion ? For
if you admit a Devil direftly, you grant a God by Illa-
tion i a Devil and a God are in a manner Correlatives.

To

The Gentleman InJlruEied, 385?

To the facoftii; if this Apparition might be foifted in
by a crafty Rabbi^ by the fame Reafon all thofe Pall'ages
in ancient Authors, where Cafar is mention'd, might have
been foifted in alfo ; fo that if a bare FoOibility has Force
againft me, it has as much againft you : Belides, if we
confiderthe Care the Jews took to avoid fuch Surprifes,
we may be morally affur'd, no Corruption, no Alta'ati-
on could poflibly be contriv'd : Twelve Copies were ta-
ken for the Twelve Tribes, then every Tribe drew as
many more, as there were particular Synagogues in each
Tribe ; nor was this Task committed to the Care of pri-
vate Copies, but to Notaries, Scribes, and Overfeers ap-
pointed by publick Authority ; when every Copy was re-
view'd by the whole Congregation, 'twas laid up in the
Treafury of the Temple, under divers Locks, nor was it
lawful for any without Commiflion to touch them : Be-
fides, to obviate Falfifications, the Laws of the Land pu-
nifh'd with prefent Death thofe who fhould dare to add,
to diminifh, alter, or corrupt the facred Text: What can
fecure a Book more againft Corruption, than fo great a
Circumfpedion, fo great a Caution ? Or c'Sn you prove
that any profane Hiftorian was fenced fo ftrongly againft
the Aflaults of Time j or the Miftakes of Ignorance or
Malice?

To the third ; I have all the Aflurance the FaS is true,
as the thing is capable of, without a fpecial Revelation :
It was not afted in Darknefs, but in the Sight of three
Millions of Men : This Spectacle mixt with Terror and
Majefty, did not flafh by, like a Lightning, but continu-
ed many Days ; fo that the People laid not under a Sur-
prife, but had time to call all things to a cool Exa-
men : Again, this Apparition mov'd them to receive a
Law clog'd with Ceremonies, and fill'd with Precepts:
We may eafily fufpe€t the Prefence of their Mafter ra-
ther forc'd them to accept it, than their Inclination, and
that they fubmitted to the Yoak with Regret, becaufe
theycaft it off in a Moment. Now what three Millions
faw and heard, Mofes committed to Writing ; then he
read the whole Law to the People, who fwore to obey
it: From thefe Spe6lators, partly by written Tradition,
and partly by oral, we have received the Faft ; fome
have defended the Truth of the whole Book with their
Blood, and the moft learned Men of the World with
C c 3 their

3 j^o 'The GENTLEMAN' Inflru^cd.

their Pens. What greater Proof can, not Reafon only,
tut Obllinacy require ? Compare the Certainty you have
ofdefur, with the Evidence I have brought for th'S,and
you will find it inferior: Three Millions" faw God and
heard him, not half that Number had a Sight of C afar ^ in
all Probability, and as few ever heard his Voice': The
Authority for the one, h at leall as great, as that for the
other : No Man had any Intereft to deny dvfar, a thou-
land to deny the Books of Mofes, that have endeavour'd
to fnpprefs, and confute them. Emperors have pointed
the Pagan Arguments with Swords, Racks, and the Hor-
ror of moil cruel- Torments,yet Chriftians,without Num-
ber, have rather exposM their Bodies to the Flames, than
thofe Books to the Fury of Executioners ; they chofe ra-
ther to lofe their Lives, than deny thofe Truths they con-
tain'd : Now muft not thofe People be pretty fure who
prove Truths with their Blood ? who defend Fads, not
with a Syllogifm, but the Torture ; and pre fs home their
Arguments with Suffering ? This way of Difpute per-
chance may not agree with your Temper, and, I be-
lieve, you w«uld rather deliver up your Cccfar^ than hang
for him ; but however, you may meafure the Value other
A'len put on their Lives, by the Price you rate your own
at ; and you may conclude, they would never part with
them without good Reafon, and an urgent Neceffity :
In fine, we may fafely prefume the Fa6t is true, becaufe
all Antiquity has thought fo, and 'tis Madnefs to oppofe
our Paffion, or Reafon againft the Reafon of the Chriftian
World.

Theo. You grant fome have queftion'd thofe Books,
and by confequence the Fa6l in Controverfy ; but no
Body has beeii fo abandon'd of common Senfe, as to ftart
a Doubt about the Being of Cxfar-^ therefore if a Faift
never quellion'd be more certain than one that has been
controverted, in fpight of all your Arguments, 'tis more
certain there was fuch a Man as Cafar^ than that God ap-
pear'd to the People of Ifrael.

Eufeh. The queftioning the Facl does not take off
from its Certainty ; unlefs the Motives on which it ftands
be found doubtful and weak upon Trial. Is the PofTibi-
lity of Motion lefs certain becaufe Zeno deny'd it ? Ig
this Principle, quid libei eft vel nott eft, lefs evident, be-
CTufe fome doting Phiiofophers abjur'd it -' Are you temp-
ted

The Gentleman Injlrtiped. 3^ i

ted to fay, Snow is black, hecaufe a Fool affirm'd it?
No, Sir : In fpigiit of thole filly Coxcombs, thefe things
Hand ftill upon their antient Bottom ; and will, till Men
pull out their Eyes, or turn off their Reafon. If the Be-
ing of Cicj'ar has never been brought to Examen, 'tis be-
cauie Mankind has no Interell in him : Whether he was,
or was not, brings no Alteration into the World ; things
go on after the fame Method in cither Hypothelis : And
though indeed he made fome Figure eighteen hundred
Years ago, he makes none atprefent, but on the Stage :
But fliould a Gentleman put in Claim to fome Eftate in
Vertue of a Grant from 'Julius Cafar^ our Lawyers
would not only plead Prefcription againft it, but prove by
the Statutes even oilVilliam the Third^ his famous Ex-
pedition into Britanny was the pure Invention of Recu-
JaMis, Enemies to the Government ; nay, that the very
Perfon is Fiftion, Impofture and Defign. 'Tis more cer-
tain there was fuch a Man as Cafar, than that God ap-
pear'd to the People of Ifraet.

A Gentleman in fome Diforder fetching up a great Sigh ;
Alas, Sir, faid he to Eufebiu'sl What do you mean ? Why
raife you Ghofts from the other World to haunt poor
Creatures, and have no Power to conjure them down ?
Muft our Torment make up your Diverfion ? Can't
you be pleas'd unlefs we are frighted ? Nor at eafe unlefs
we groan upon the Torture ? The moft happy Life de-
ferves rather Pity than Envy ; and what we can procure
by a thoufand Cares, is only to render our felves lefs mi-
ferable: Why then do Divines continually importune us
with ftrange Difcoveries of another World ? Why damp
they our Pieafure with Stories of Hell ; and terrify our
Imagination with ghaftly Landskips of a tormenting E-
ternity ? Either prove thefe amazing Tenets fo clearly
that we cannot deny them, of promife Silence that we
jnay not "hear them. Your Arguments raife Doubts, but
cannot quell them ; they alarm my Fears, but have not
the Power to diflipate them.

Alas ! Sir, reply'd Eufebius, what would the Silence
of Divines avail, unlefs you could gag Nature, and
filence your Confcience ? Tho' you flie from the Com-
merce of Men ; tho' you mew your felf up in Rocks and
Dens, the very Stones proclaim his Being ; the Winds
whifper it, and Solitude protefts you are within God's
C c 4 Domi-

3p2 The Gentle m" AN InfruBed,

Dominion. Omnes homines vident Deum j the very Blind
lee him, and the Deaf hear him.

'Tis lirange, anfwer'd the Gentleman, that fo many
flafhing Wits in the Court and Town fhould overlook
fo long this Divinitv, which rtands before them. 'Muft
they put out their Eyes to fee him; or turn Fools to find;
him ?

I doubt not, faid Eufebius, but White-Hall and Kev-
_/7;7^fc« are well ftock'd with Wits. I grant the Town
is not unprovided -, but then I maintain their Blind nefs
proves a God, and that Infidelity is a juft Punifhment of
their Crimes. For make a Survey of all thofe Wits, and
you will find them not only without Grace, but almoft
without Confcience. So foon as their Reafon bloom'd,
Ihey proftituted their Innocence, and fhew'd they were
Men by acting like Devils. As Alexander counted the
Battles he fought by the Wounds he receiv'd ; fo thefe
may calculate up the Moments of their Lives by the
Enormities they commit : Every A6lion affronts Nature,
and cries aloud for Vengeance. If therefore there be an
Author of Nature, is it not juft he fliould take the Caufe
of Nature in Hand, and revenge the Injury on thofe that
did it ? And what more terrible Revenge can he take,
than to ftrike thofe blafphemous Salmoneans^ thofe im-
pure Sardanapalui's as he did the Sodomites^ with the Spi-
rit of Blindnefs? PercztJJit eos coecitate a minimo nfque ad
maximum: Then to withdraw the Light of his divine
Face from their Eyes, and fo to permit them to walk in
Darknefs and Ignorance, and then only to acknowledge
their Errors, when they feel the Punifhment of their.
Crimes .?

Now that their Infidelity cannot proceed either from
want of Motives, or of Wit, 'tis pretty evident. They
have the Confent of Mankind, id efi^ ofNature: They
hive the Confeflion of their Confciences froj?i within,
the Teilimony of every Creature from without. Thefe
glare fuch a Light on the moft ftupid Underftanding,
that they cannot refift the Force of the Imprellion. Your
Firjl-rate Wits of the Court examine, you fay, all thofe
Arguments; thev contemplate the great World, and the
lefs ; they turnrp every S one, ranfack every Corner of
the Univerle, wichout being able to dilcover any Traces
of a Deity. What can you infer, but that there is a God
' abQvej

'The Gentleman InJIruBed 3^3

above, who takes an Inventory of the Anions of the
Children of Men, who punifhes their Rapines, their Im-
purities and Blafphemieshere by confounding their Judg-
ments, who cafts fuch a Gloom over their Underftand-
ings, that they can't fee what Children dilcerni that they
grope in Darknefs, whilft they walk in Light, and call out
for Proofs of his Being, whilft they are lurrounded, and
almoft opprel's'd with Demonftrations ? In a Word, Sir,
do not conclude there is no God, becaufe the topping Ge-
nius's of the Court do not fee him ; fay rather there is
one, becaufe they do not fee what all the World, both
civiliz'd and unciviliz'd, fee and adore ; lay their Igno-
rance is a juft Punifhment of their Icandalous and pro-
voking Offences, and that the only way left thefe aban-
don'd Debauchees to come to the Knowledge of a God,
is to take off the Curfe by flying to Repentance.

He was going on, but Theumachus interrupted him ;
'tis tirpe, faid he, to foujid a Retreat, we have been this
Morning on hot Service; after fome Civilities Eufebius
left the Company, and the next Day took up again the
Confererice, which continu'd fome Days.

DIALOGUE XVI.

'Xhefecond I' roof drawn from the Exijlence oftheU^orldy
"jjhich by tinq^uefitonahle Authority isjhewn to have been
made.

Eufeb.T Have prov'd the Exiftence of a God from the
*■ innate Charadlers of his Being, ftamp'd on the
Hearts of Men ; I come now to a fecond Proof, which he
has laid before our Eyes, that he might convince our
Senfes as well as our Reafon, and manifeft himfelf by
his Works to the incredulous, feeing he cannot appear in
Perfon. We fee a moft ftately Fabrick call'd the World,
vaft in Extent, and admirable for Beauty: The Earth is
llocl^'d with innumerable Beafts, the Air with Birds, the
Sea* with Fifhes ; fome feem made meerly for Man's
Profit, others for his Pleafure, and many for Oftentation.
The Firmament glitters with a thoufand Luminaries,
their Bulk vies with their Luftre, and their Beauty with
' " ' both :

35»4 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed.

both : The Sun dazzles us with his Glory, and over- powers
our feeble Eyes with an Excels of Majefty ; it's the grand
Arbitrator of Time; it divides Moments in to Ages, Years,
Months and Days, it regulates Seafons, prefcribes bounds
to Winter, and limits to Summer, and by its Accefs and
Recefs makes 'em. The Moon with herbright Legions of
Stars, that fpangle the Firmaments, gilds Darknefs, and
filvers over thole Shades of Horror, and fo turns Night
it felf into a Theatre of Pleafure: But what raifes my
Amazement is, that this gigantick Machine is compos'd
of almoft infinite Parts ; yet all are fo artificially con-
triv'd, that one fits exactly the other ; nay, they are en-
uow'd with contrary inclinations, they are always at va-
riance, they draw into the Field one againft the other,
yet thole particular Feuds hinder not an univcrfal Peace,
nor thole private Difcords a general Harmony. Now,
Sir, I afk you from whence this glorious Piece of Archie
tedturecame? Who laid the Fuundations of the Earth ?
Who rais'd the towring Mountains, and hung thofe vaft
refplendent Bodies of the Sun, Moon, and Stars in thofe
liquid Regions above? Who azur'd the Firmament?
Who enamel'd the Meadows with a thoufand different
Flowers, that embalm the Air, ravifh the Sky, and per-
fume the Smell ?

Theo. Indeed the World is a lovely Fabrick, and the
Contrivance feems admirable, fo that fome have father'd
the Work upon an infinite Wifdom : I confefs this Opi-
nion is more plaufible than true ; it goes down with the
unthinking Vulgar, yet Men who hate to take things up-
on Truft, who flick not on outward Appearances, but
follovi^ Effedls up to their Origin, are of a difterent Sen-
timent.

Some fay it caus'd it felf; but, methinks, this is a
Piece of the rudeft Nonfenfe that ever was invented, it
makes a thing adt before it was, and gives a Being before
it had any ; nay, it fuppofes a thing to be, and not to
be, the fame Inftant ; and fo allows of a Contradiction,
which is to out-fhoot Abfurdity it felf.

Others are inclin'd to Epicurpis^s and Dewocritus^s Sy-
ftem ; thefe lay the Matter is eternal, which having an
infinite Space to fupport it, began to fcour about, and
after a thouland Encounters by a moft happy Cafualty,
chop'd upon this re2;ular Frame : Indeed a Man nrult be

of

^e Gentleman Injru0ed, 3^5

Cjf a very credulous Complexion, that can rwallow this
Folly; 'tis to lole time to enter upon a Contuiation :
Methinks, fometimes we might lee Books compos'd by
Chance, as well as this great Folio of the World ; and
Piftures alio may ftart up by fprinkling the Colours at
random.

Others, in fine, maintii\'n the World is eternal a fe,
without any other Caufe but its own Nature; 'tis a ne-
ceflary Being, and independent ; and as it had no Begin-
nino-, foit can never have an End: 'Tis in vain to run
after a Caufe dillinct from its own Nature, it is its own
Architecftand Work, theone is the fame with the other.
To thefe Philofophers I give my Approbation, this is my
Sentiment ; you have liberty to bring your Exceptions
againft it.

Eufeb. I fay the World was made in Time, an infinite
Being drew it out of the State of pure Poffibility, and
plac'd it in that of Aftuality : His Power ftretch'd out
the Heavens, and fpread a Canopy of Azure, embroi-
dered with Stars, over the Earth : Wifdom contnv'd the
Parts, and with a ftupen^ious Artifice put them together:
His Goodnefs prompted him to communicate himfelf to
a Multitude of Creatures ; his Prudence aiark'd out the
Employment of every Part of the Creation ; it affign'd
them their Work, and appointed them their Stations.
Suppofing there was a God, this Account would be very
reafonable, for this great Work would not exceed the
Skill of the Workman, infinite in Wifdom, Power and
Goodnefs.

Now the prefent Controverfy can be decided only by
•tv^'o Ways ; cither by Authority or Reafon. If therefore
Authority Hands by me, and not at all for you ; if folid
Reafon takes my Side, and wholly abandons yours; and
jf befides you are not only deferted by Reafon, but prefs'd
by thofe very Difficulties, or greater, you oppugn me
with, I hope you will be fo juft to Reafon and your felf,
as to come over to Truth, and to confefs and adore that
God you now deny. Let me therefore afk you, is your
own Opinion back'd with Authority ?

Theo. I confefs the Authority is not full nor cogent,
yet all Ages have furnifh'd Men, who Hood up for the
World's Eternity : Neither indeed ought we to put the
Illue of the Caufe upon Authority, in fuch an enrilefs

Series

^p6 The Gentleman InJInuied^

Series of Ages, many unforefeen and unavoidable Acci-
dents may eafily have interrupted the Courfe of Tradi-
tion, as Plagues and Inundations, which without doubt
have more than once almoft depeopled the World, and
turn'd it into a Solitude : Befides, want of Tradition for
the World's Eternity rather proves it was eternal than-
not : For if the World was always peopled, there could
be no common Spring from whence the Tradition fhould
hrlt rife, and then fpread over the Univerfe.

Eufeb. I grant the World's Eternity may have found
Abetters in mod Ages, but their Authority Is infuffici-
ent; there were a certain kind of Fanatick Philofophers
like our Atheifts, who liv'd on Fancy, and open'd by
Imagination ; they examin'd Faifis by Caprice, and found-
ed their Tenets on meer Conje6lures, but yet their Opi-
nion favours not yours. For tho' Arijlotle was a great
Stickler for the World's Eternity, and, as he confel]es,the
firftofall Philofophers that broach'd the Whim ; yet he
acknowledges it was made by God, and flowed from his
Power, as Light from the Sun ; yet this Hypothefis feem'd
fo oppofite to the receiv'd Opinipn of all Greece, that an
Adion of Blafphemy was broughtinagainfthim, Conimh.
I. 8. Phyfic. c. 2. quod unum Deum docuijfet contra Pa-
trios ritus de [do lis ^ multitudine Deorum^ ^ quod Mun-
<ium fempftenium enuncinffet, quern initio Temporis con~
ditum tola Graciaputabat : And the Epicureans who held
the Matter eternal, thought it far more confonant to Rea-
fon, to leave the rare Contrivance and Difpofition of the
World to Chance, which finifh'd and put the lall Hand
to this admirable Architedlure in Time, than to afcribe
its Origin to any inherent Independencyj

Si »uUa fuit Genitalis Origo
Terr arum ^ Coeli, femperq; .eternafuere^
Curfupra bellum Thebanum l^ fun era Trojte
Non alias alii quoq\ res cecinere Poetce.

Thus an Epicurean Poet.

And I think I may defy you to produce one ancient Phi-
lofopher, one ManofSenfc that ever durft take upon him
the Defence of your Tbefis ; and yet we fcarce find any
other Abfurdity without an Advocate ; but to clap Inde-
pendency on a Being, whofe Perfe<ftions are coniin'd,feems

too

j'he Gentleman In/ini0ed, 35)7

toomonftrous an Enterprize to wife Men, fo contrary
to the firft Principles of Reafon, that they durft not un-
dertake it. You do therefore well to put your Caufe
upon Reafon, for you muft lofe it, if you ftand to the
Verdidt of Tradition: Indeed, as you fay, if the World
had been eternal, the Memory of its Eternity might
have been buried in an endlefs Series of Revolutions
and SuccelTors; but what does this prove? Only what
might have happen'd, not what really is to come to
pafs.

What you fay is true, -viz. that if the World was al-
ways peopled, there could not poflibly be any common
Spring from whence the Tradition fhould firft rife, and
therefore no Tradition for the World's Eternity can be
expedled ; this, I fay, tho' luppos'd true, can avail you
nothing againft a pofitive Tradition that the World was
mvidt and had a Beginning.

T'hio. And how do you make it out?

Enfeb. As pad Matters of Fact are made out, viz. by
Hiftory : And in the firll place /Iriflotle quoted above^
does acknowledge that the moft ancient Writers held the
World was made, and thai: Tradition did confirm reo-
plein the Perfuafion, that God made all Things: The
Scythians and EgypiiaKs were of this Opinion, the Indians
and Phxmcians concurred with them, to fay nothing of
the Grecians who look'd upon the contrary Opinion as
Innovation, nay, and a kind of Herefy or Blafphemy.

And if we take a turn into America, if we enter the
Forefts and Wildernefles of this vaft Region, we fhali
find the Peruvians and other Barbaritws of this Sentiment ;
indeed fome had very extravagant Notions of the Crea-
tion, but what can be expected from Men half turn'd
Beafts, but Extravagance? Yet they concurred with us ia
this, that God fram'dand modelled the World.

Secondly y The firft Hillorian, and asauthentickasever
writ, gives a long Account of the World's Beginning in
Genefis. I do not intend to put this Book upon you as
divinely infpir'd, give it but the Credit of a Htjlory^ this
I only afk, and this you cannot refufe with Juftice, fee-
ing he has been eftcem'd by the Jews and Chrijlians,
not only as a Divine Hiftorian and Legiflalor, but alfo as
it-Propbet.

Now

35>$ 'fhe Gentleman lnftru5fisd(.

Now fuppofing the World was created, 'tis natural
to think the firft Man would leave his Children, and
thole to their Pofterity a Tradition of fo remarkable a
Tran^^6liow \ nor could this Conveyance be hard, efpe-
cially when in the World's Non-agCj three A'len aloncj
Methnjltlem, Shem, and Ifaac could carry on a Tradition
from the World's Creation almoft to the Ifraelites De-
Icent into i^gyt>t.

Again, fuppofing fuch a Tradition, it might be expeft-
ed the firft Writers fliould put it on Record. Now, this
has happened ; Mofes the firft Hiftoriographer has defend-
ed to Particulars; and as his Narration is reafonable, fo
withal it carries a certain Simplicity that perfuades. Be-
rofus^ Orpkcus, Hornet and Tr ifm eg iji u s foWow'd Mofes in
Age, as alfo in the Delivery of the World's Beginning ;
What they receiv'd from their Predecellbrs, they handed
down to their Succed'ors, and by this means the Opinion
that the World had a Beginning carries all before it;
The whole Body of Chriftians believe it, the Ma/:>ome-
tans and Jevjs^ though they vary from us in other Points,
agr^withusin this; and all Nations whoever acknow-
ledged a God, own he was the Contriver of this great
Mafter- Piece of Power andWifdom.

Now to go againft the Tide of Tradition, fo ancient,
fo univerfal, and withal fo rational, upon no other
Ground but meer Conjedlures, or bare Poflibilities, ib
Raflinefs to excefs, and the very height of Folly ; 'tis to
prefer the Rcafon of one Man before that of all Alan-
kind, to brand his whole Species with the Infamy of a
fond Credulity, and to pafs Judgment upon them, that
they are throughly qualified for Bethlem.

But again, if fo full a Report will not fatisfy you,
you niuft pen up your Knowledge in a narrow part of
the World, you mult forfvvear not only all Acquaintance
with paft A6lions, but even with remote ; and what is
worfe, you muft fail below that Station a Creature en-
dued with Reafon ought to keep ; For when Reafon
gives me as great a Satisfaftion about the Being, or not
Being of a Fail, as Reafon requires, 'tis Imprudence to
doubt : And a Man muft take Pleafure to fret and dif-
obligehisUnderftanding, that will not acquiefce to fuch
an Evidence. Now our prefent Controverfy is a paft
Matter of Fadt: We have put it upon WitneiTes: Anti-,

quity

'the Gentleman Infiru^eL ^^p

quity ftands for me ; and all Nations agree in the Main,
though they vary in Ibme Circumftances. To thefe con-
current Teftimonies you oppole naked Surmifes, or pure
Poflibilities; orelfe yowfuhpocna a Braceor two of Atheifts,
or a Pack of African and American Brutes, who are
ic.irce able to underftand^ the very State of the Queftion,
and know as little of paft Tranfadlions as of thofe that
are to come. I now appeal to your own Judgment, whe-
ther a full Tradition be not as good a Convidion, that
the World had a Beginning, as the Nature of a thing
paft requires? And whether your Counter- Witnefles,
whodepofe onConjedure, would biafs an upright Judge
in any Court of Judicature, againft a Cloud of others
Superior both in Wifdom and Probity.

Bcndes, { add another Circumftance very material,
and which deferves a little Refle{5tion. If the World
had been made in Time, by the Power and Wifdom of
God, we could not expedl a more full Tradition of its
Beginning than we have : Therefore on this very Ac-
count we have all the Reafon to prefume it had a Begin-
ning. I prove it thus ; tirft^ It cannot be imagin'd, but
fome would ftand up againft it. Mens Judgments are
as various as their Faces, and their Underftandings feem
no lefs bizar than their Humours. Some deny things,
becaufe every one believes them. They love Singularity
in Opinion, as well as in Modes, and Vv'ill no more en-
dure a Rival in Thinking, than in their Amours. Others
are of a martial Complexion, they love to fend their
Brain upon Expeditions, and are temerarious enough to
attack Demonftration. They follow Truth, as Con-
ftables do Malefadors, to arreft it, and rail againft it, as
the young Athenian did againft Alcibiades^ becaufe every
one applauded him ; they idolize Wit, but are ignorant
of its Definition, and fo, like Dray-men, place it in clafli-
ing and contradiding. Others fteer their Judgments by
the Compafs of Intereft : One would think their Under-
ftandings had truck'd Natures with the Will, and that it
had remov'd its Lodgings from the Head to the Heart.
Whatever flatters thefe Mens Vanity, or pampers their
Inclinations, is always true; but if it frowns upon their
Paflions, or checks their Liberty, it muft be falfe. Hence
it comes that thofe Truths that even flafh Conviftion,
' aiid captivate Reafon, the very Moment they are under-

ftood

40 o 'The Gentleman Ihjlru^edi

flood, oftentimes find Oppofition, and are ftigmatiz'd
with Fallacy, becaufe too clear tobeprov'd. One would
think that the Partis lefs than the Whole is pretty plainj
and that a Man muft have a flender Portion of Wit, not
to conceive it; yet a late Mathematician call'd it inQue-
ftion, degraded it from the Quality of a Principle, and
threw it amongft the Fry of vulgar Errors. 'Tisimpofli-
ble to frame a Propolitionmore clear than this, It's Im-
pojfible thejamepuuld both be, and not be at the fame Time*
Yet if we believe //r.y^o//^, fome Philofophers deny itj
and that no Folly might want a Patron, as I have faid al-
ready, Zeno would not admit Motion. Now if Men dif-
believefirft Principles, if they reje6l Truth when it ap-
pears in d'tjhabile^ andxoverlook it when it (lands before
thern ; what Wonder they don't fee it at a Diftance,
when it appears by Proxy, and is conveyed only to us
by Tradition \ If we will not credit our own Eyes, we
may very well ilight Authority, for certainly they are able
to give a more exa6t Account of Things, than Traditi-
on : They difcover Truth in Perfon ; we receive not
their Intelligence at fecond-hand, but fee Objedls in
their proper Colours, without Mafl<: or Varnifh. Tho'
therefore the World was made, we could not expe6l
(without a Miracle) a more univerfal Tradition, thanr
we have of its Beginning.

Secondly, Nor ought the fabulous OpinioKS about the
Creation to prejudice the Truth of the Fa£l ; forfuppofing
it true, thofe would have fprung neceflarily from the grois
Ignorance of Barbarians: When a Story has pad through
two or three Hands, how unlike is it to the Original ?
Every one fhapes it to his own Inclination ; Some Cir-
cumftances are loft, others added; and nothing remains,
but the EiTential: If a Truth be difguifed in a Day, we
muft not wonder it fufFers Alteration in the Space of 'ivx.
thoufand Years ; efpecially among thofe Nations who are
ignorant of Letters, who are bred in Ignorance, and live
in Brutality, who know no more of Time paft, than
of foreign Countries, and take as little Pains to cultivate
their Underftanding, as their Soil.

Theo. But by your leave I could fingle you out fome
Traditions of a very ancient Date, and of far lefs Con-
fequence than the World's Creation, that pafs current .
without Oppofition j for Example, who ever denied

there

the Gentleman InJiniBed, 40 i

there were fuch Men as Alexander or Cxfar ? Now it the
World had a Beginning, why fhould not the A4eniory of
io v/onderful a Fact remain as univerfal as that of Ccefar
or Alexander ?

Etifeb. Ftrjl^ If we went to polUng, I beheve thofe
who itand for the World's Creation would carry it, for
this is acknowledged by a hundred Nations that nevet
heard of thofe two Princes.

Secondly^ If none have endeavoured to out-face the
World, that there never were fjch Men, 'tis becaul'e the
Conteft was too iniignificant ; and bciides^ which way
fhould a Man fetupon the Enterprize? He could expedt
no Relief from Reafon. For alas ! All the realbn in the
World can never fhew they were, or were not : He
could therefore only have Recourfe to Tradition, and
where could he find any Pretence to fet on foot fo much
as an innuendo they never were ; unlefs he could hit up-
on an Expedient to feize all the Records, that mention
thofe Emperors, and then condemn them to the Fire ?
But it was thelntereil of all Atheiils to deny the World
ever had a Beginning. Nay, 'twas abfolutely impoffible
for them to admit Creation, and rejeS a Creator ; and
then that Principle, ex mh'ilo nihil fit^ was a great Sup-
port, not only to Atheiils, but Philoibphers ; and no
doubt, if that Principle be true, the Matter at lealt may-
be eternal. Here you fee that Intereft might move fome,
and apparent Reafon others, to ftand for the World's
Eternity, but neither could invite a Man to queftion ei-
ther Alexander or Cafar.

To fum up therefore the Force of my Argument in
fhort : I fay, our Controverfy muft be tried either by
Teltimony or Reafon, the firft is the proper Court for
pronouncing upon ancient Fadts, and the moft uncorrupt
Tribunal. I have prov'd that the Torrent of Tradition
runs for me ; that the moft antient Writers, as well as
the molt recent ; the moft learn'd, as well as the moft
pious; the moft polifh'd Nations, with the moft incult,
witnefs forme. Whereas none but a Pack of Atheifts,
or fome wild Barbarians, or at moft a Brace of wliimli-
cal Philofophers, famous for nothing but Singularity,
dare appear in your Defence. If fuch an Evidence be
not fufficient to prove a Fad:, pray tell me what is ? If
you require more, I muft'Conclude you areunreafonable ;

D d bixauie

402 ^he Gentleman In jimmied.

becaufe you call for a greater Conviftion than the Sub-
jed: will bear, or can be expelled without Miracle; and
I fuppofe Miracles would as little befriend your Caufe as
Tradition.

DIALOGUE XVII.

The Atheijl fuppojing the World's Eternity^ fuppofes an in-
finite Seriei of Generations pojfible ; now it being ten
times more probable^ that fuch a Series is impojjible^ he
muji be guilty of the higheji hnprudence to venture his
Soul upon fuch an Uncertainty.

'T' H E World, you fay, was pcjfihle ab ccterno a fey
•*• therefore /V was ab aterno a fe. I affirm it was not
pojfible ab iVterno a fe \ therefore it was not ab aterno a fe.
Our Pofitions are contradi6lory, and fo are our Proofs;
for you barely aflert and prove Nothing, and I will prove
byReafon \vhat I aflert.

Theo. Before you proceed, let me defire you not to
meddle with I»fimtum. Though you raife a hundred Bat-
teries againft infinite Succeffions, you'll only go off with
Laboui and Dillippointment. Your Philoiuphers have
undertaken my Defence on that Side, and I know not
how you'll llorm their Reafons, or level their Authority.
Yet, till this be done, there's no coming at me: There-
fore I cou'nlel you not to raife your Battery on that Side.

Enfch. I confefs tlie Pride of fome Philofophers, arxi
the litigious Humours of others, have been kind to Athe-
, ills : For in Reality, Philofophy is no more a Science,
but an Art of Jugling. Philofophers queft more after
new Opinions than Tj'uth : And he is the Man, not
that fearchesinto the Bowels of Nature, but that dfelFes
and tricks up Notions in the beft Pofture of Defence a-
gainft Oppolers ; and if he can handfomely embroil a Que-
ftion, or dares offer Words for a folid Anfwer, or im-
peach Truth of Sophiftry, he deferves to be pointed at ;
Digito njQ^/flrari ^ dicitur hie e/i. Thus fome have ailert-
ed the Poffibility of an Infinity a(fiu, in fpite of receiv'd
Principles that oppofe it. They fhroud the Weaknefs of
their Reafons under the Obfcurity of the Thejis ; and

folve

^he Gentleman InJIraBed, 40 j

fblve Difficulties by ftarting greater. You lay hold on
their Vanity to fupport your Hyfothefis^ and think you
have made it clear beyond Debate, by telling us Philofo-
phers hold the Eternity of the World poflible : But under
Favour, though their Authority may ftave off fome Argu-
ments from you, it cannot others : For though they hold
God would create the World ab atemo, they deny it
could be a fe. If therefore in one Ofe you defer fome-
thing to their Authority, be fo juft a« to reverence it in
the other: Beiides, your vaft Pretenders to Wit will not
be fobb'd oif with Authority. This is the Refuge of Weak-
nefs; the Sandluary of thofe, whofe good Humour mult
compound for the Shallownefsof their Brain. You are for
Reafon, for naked Demonftration, without Fard or fu-
cus -y for Evidence that admits of no Reply nor Rejoin-
der ; therefore Hand to your Principles before you ftrike
in with thefe mighty Upholders of InfiKitum. Bring their
Reafons to the Touch-ftone ; examine whether they are
Sterling, or Adulterate. I will only propofe one or two
Difficulties, which I confefs put me to the Plunge. The
World you fay is eternal ?

Theo, I do.

Eufeb. Therefore it was impoffible for you ever to have
been bom.

Theo. I deny the Inference.

Eufeb. I prove it. You eould not poflibly be bcrn
till an infinite Number of Generations was pall ; but
'tis impoffible for an infinite Number of Generations to
pafs, therefore 'twas impoffible for you ever to have been
born.

Theo. 'Tis impoffible for an infinite Number of Gene-
rations to pafs in an infinite Space of Time; I deny your
Minor : In a finite Space of Time, I grant your Mmor^
and deny the Confequence.

Eufeb. I fubfume, but 'tis impoffible for an infinite
Space of Time ever to pafs: For if it can pafs, it has an
End, and by confequence we find an infinite with an End j
and certainly this confequence becomes not a Man, who
avoids the Belief of a Deity, becaufe Infinity is an incon-
Cf iveable Thing. I know not how you lock upon my
Argument j but methinks any Man but an Atheift would
ftart at it.

D J ? Again,

404 '^ke Gentleman hfiru6fe£

Again, if by Defcent we may pais by an infinite Se-^
ries of Generations, why not by Alcent i* methinks 'tis
no farther from the Bottom' of a Pair of Stairs to the
Top, than from rhe Top to the Bottom : And I always
thought the Way from London to If'^indfor, was the fame
with that from /f'f»t//'^r to London: Now in afcending
from you to your feather, from him to your Grandfa-
ther, cff. we march in the fame Road, we call in at the
fame Gentlemen. If therefore by Defcent we come to
an end of our Journey, why not by Afcent ?

Theo. The Realbn is evident : For by afcending you
come to an end of Generations, and ftop at the firft
Man : Then the Succeflion of Generations has notbeen
infinite.

Eufeh. Right : But then it inevitably follows, there
has not been an infinite Series of Generations : Becaufe
you put an end to them, they are at a full ftop in your
Perfon.

Theo. There is a great Difparity between the two
Cafes. Becaule when you mount up from Son to Fa-
ther, from Father to Grandfather, ^c. the Time is al-
ways finite. Now what wonder that an Infinity of Ge-
nerations can't be trac'd up to their Origin in a finite
Space? But when you defcend tome, there has pa fs'd
an infinite Space of Time : And fo one Infinity corre-
fponds to the other.

Eufeb. No doubt, you have piain'd the Difficulty be-
yond Difpute by your quaint Difparity. But I would
know why a IVlan by afcending cannot ftep from Time
to Eternity, as well as by defcending from Eternity into
Time ? And then, how can an infinite Time pafs.?

Theo. Thefe Infinities and Eteriiiies are puzzling
Subjects, they out-ftretch the Abilities of our Under-
ftandings, and your Argument preiles thofe Philofophers
who maintain God could create the World ab ceterno.

Eufeb. Infinities and Eternities are puzzling Subje6ls
indeed ; but then I wonder an Atheift's Reafon fliould
ftumble at the Notion of an infinite Being, and leap fo
nimbly over apparent Contradictions. I do not infift
upon my Proof as a Demonftraiion that there is a firft
Principle, or that the World w:is not a fe. Perchance
in a puzzling Subject, our Underftanding may be non-
plus'dj butatleaftitdemonftrates, that the whole Body

of

The Gentleman InJlruBed. 405

©f Atheifts is unreafonable to Folly and Madnefs ; for
fhey reject God on Account of his Infinity, and fome
other Attributes that they fay are inconceiveable. In
the mean time, they are conftrainM to admit an infinite
and eternal Series of Generations \ a thing that not only
furpalles our Conception, but in Appearance falls foul
on the moft evident and receivM Maxims of Rcafon. If
we muft place Infinity and Eternity fomewhere, I appeal
to Reafon, whether it be not more agreeable to its Di-
ctates, to attribute thofe Perfe<5lions to a Being, in
whofe Notion they neceilarily enter, and imply noother
Difficulty, but what follows a finite Underftanding,
when it roves in Infinity, and lofes it felf in Eternity ;
than to this World, which in its moft ellential Notion in-
volves no Idea of Eternity: Nay, it cannot beapply'd to
it, without violating either diredtly, or by Illation, the
very Principles of Difcourfe. Whence I conclude fome
more unworthy Principle than Reafon induces Atheifts
to queftion the Exiftence of a God, becaufe his moft
inconceiveable Attributes return to their own Hypothejis
with more Violence.

Thefe Philofophers Cafe, who think God might have
created the World ab <sterno^ is quite different from
yours J though their Opinion be falfe, their Faith is true:
So that at worft they rifque nothing but their Labour ;
but you put all your Hopes on a weak Bottom : If my
Arguments be true, your Soul is loft ; and you will de-
plore your fucceffive Eternity, a parte ante^ which has an
End for a whole Eternity, a parte poft^ which will have
none. Lord ! How would an Atheift crow, how would
he chirp, if he could but anvil out a Proof fo appa-
rently conclufive for the World's Eternity, as mine is
againft it ? We fhould fee the Bookfeller's Stalls in Paul's
Church-T'ard hung with new Demot7j}rations aga'tnjl the
Exijlence of a God ; as they were fome Years ago with
Demonftrations againji a Trinity. We fliould fee Copies
in every Coffee-Houfe^ and the Beaus bufy in conning it
over to make themfelves Mafters of it: But becaufe
the Proof does not hit with their Inclination, it muft not
work upon their Underftanding. It falls as heavy upon
our Philofophers, you fay, as upon you ; what then ?
Can Company change the Nature of Things ? If they
are in the Wrong, are you in the Right? Would you
D d 3 engage

40^ ^he Gentleman InJiruSed,

engage your Eftate or Life that my Argument Is meei
Parabg-.fm ? I believe you would take fome time foi'
Confideration before you vcntur'd upon the Bet. Why
then do you ftake your Soul ? For if an eternal Succel-
iion of Generations be impoflible, the World was made
in Time. If it was made, there is a God ; and if there
be one, what can an Atheift expert from a flighted Dei-
ty, butajuft Chaftifement for his Infidelity? The Gon-
fequence is of Importance, and deferves fome ferious
Thoughts.

DIALOGUE XVIII.

'The third Proof. "The CharaSiers ofWifdom vifihle in the
Frame and Cofijlitution of the World, demonjirate it is
the Work of a vjife Agent.

T Have already prov'd a God by the bare Exiftence of
^ the World ; I confirm the fame Thefis by the excellent
Contrivance of it, which indeed is both amazing and ra-
vifhing. It can neither be exprefled by Tongue, nor
drawn out by Pencil : 'Tis above Art, and out of the
Reach of E.eafon. The moft fearchingGew/^.f that ever
was, has not been able to difcover one Blot in the large
Volume of ihe World j there are no Errata's. Nothing
llept in as a rude Effay of Skill , and afterwards underwent
the File or Hammer, but all Things continue as they
were from the Beii^i»ning of the Creation.

F'rom this Order and Regularity 'Tully infers, that the
World was the Produd of a wife Agent ; and brands
thofe with Folly, who dare deny a Conclufion fo clear,
fo evident : EJJe prafiantem aliquam cetcrnamque naturavn,
eamque fuffictendam adorandamque pulchritudo mundi^or'
doquc rerum coelejitum cogit confiieri : "The Beauty of the
World., an exaB Order of the Heavens demonjiraie the
Exijlence of a noble and eternal Being., to whom Men owe
EJleem and Adoration \ nay, hc fticks not to affirm, that
the Contemplation of theOeconomy, Harmony and Or-
der of the heavenly Bodies, put the Matter in a Light,
that leaves no room for Difpute. Quid pot eft effe tarn
(tpertum tamque j>erfpicuum, cum cesium fufpicimus coe-

lefliaquc

I'he Gentleman Injfru^ed, 407

lejriaque contemplati funuts^ quam alicjuod ejfe numen pra-
ftant'tJfimiS mentiSy quo h<ec regantur ? Wliat can be ima-
gin'd more clear, than that there is a moft wife Being,
who directs and governs the Fleavens?

Now that a Vein of Wilciom runs through every part
of the World, is mod evident ; for it fuppofes two things,
a Defign, and Means proportiou'd to acquire it ; and
where ihofe two are found, Wifdom muft be admitted.
We have Eyes to fee, and there are Colours capable of
being feen. We have Organs fitted up for Smell, Tafte
and Feelings and there are O'ojeds able to gratify them.
Colours, Smells, &c. would be ufelefs, were there no
Senfes to receive them ; and Senles inf.gnificant, if there
was nothing in Nature to play upon them This reci-
procal Relation argues a Defign, and a choice of Means;
and who denies it to be the Contrivance of Wifdom, is
flenderly provided with this Virtue.

The Sun, which is call'd the Father of Nature, as the
Earth is term'd the Mother, moves about us in fo juft
a Diflance, that nothing could place it fo conveniently
but his Wifdom who aflign'd its Task. Were it more
remote, the Earth would congeal ; did it approach, we
fhould be parcht with Heat, and fall into Afhes : But
now we enjoy the Benefit of its Light, and the Earth
the EiFe6ts of its enlivening Influence ; it impregnates
the Womb of Nature with its Rays, and attacks Vapours
to pour them down in Dews and Showers, that refrefh
the Fields, enliven Flowers, and bring with them Plen-
ty and Abundance ; and at the fame time returns thofe
Waters to the Rivers and Sea, of whom it borrow'd
them ; and fo (as it were) exercifes at once, an a6t of
Liberality and Juflice.

But then all thofe delicious Fruits that charm the Eye,
and pleafe the Palate, would rather be admirable than
ufeful, did they not turn into the Subftance of Animals ;
and thofe (like Tantalus) would perifli of Hunger in the
Arms of Plenty, had they no Inftind to feed on them.
But again, had every Creature an Inclination to the
fame Food, one would ftarve the other; Nature would
be at a Nonplus for Provifion, her Granaries would be
exhaufted, her Stock drain'd, and then Mortality would
follow: But now Ihe keeps open Table for all her Chil-
dren, fhe maintains them at her own Expences; And tho'
D d 4 they

40 8 fhe Gentleman Injl rutted,

they neither reap nor fow, they are rather overwhelm'd
with Plenty, than preiVd with Neceffity : Belides, had
not the Male an IncUnation for the Female^ the Species
would be at an End ; and this Inclination would not
continue them, unlefs Propagation were made by it. Had
the Female no Tendernefs for her young, they could
not hold out a Day ; yet did not her Teats fvv'ell with
Milk, her Tendernefs could not prelerve them ; but thefe
poor Creatures forfaken by their Dam would be expos'd
to Infult, were they deftitute of Swiftnefs, Craft, Cou-
rage, or Arms to defend themfelves, or annoy the Ag-
grelTors. Nature has provided againft this Inconvenience;
Flight faves fome. Wiles others, and many difpute their
Lives ; and when they are over-power'd, they feldom
fall without Revenge. They handle their Weapons with
Art, and fence by Rule and Method. The Porczipinesj^
like the Parihians, fight at a Diftance; they fhoot with-
out Bows, or Arquebufs ; and hit the Mark without Aim.
The Hedge-Hog at the Approach of Danger marihals it
felf into Sphere; it calls up a Retrenchment; exped:sthe
Enemy behind a Palifade, and lupplies with Policy, the
Weaknefs of its Forces. The Bull faces his Adverfary.
The Horfe wheels off, and ufes his Heels, either to fly,
or to v/ound. If you intended to continue Creatures,
could you invent more fit, more apt Means? Were you
Com miflary- General, could you lay up better Provifi-
ons ? Are you able to place their Weapons more advan^
tageouflv for their Defence ; or teach them to manage
them with greater Dexterity ? There are more legible
Charaders of Wifdom and Fore-fight in the Republick of
Bealls, than in thofe of Lscurgus^ Solon^ Plato^ and Ari-
jlotle -y for thefe intended a. perfect Common- wealth ;
they err'd moft fhamefully in th? Means, and enadted
Laws more fuitablc to Goats than Men. But among ir-
rational Creatures, as thefe Laws are inviolable, fo they
are proportioned to their Natures and Welfare. They nei-
ther err by Excefs nor Defcdl, one more Rule would fub-
vert Oeconomy, as well as one lels ^ nothing can be ad-
ded, notinng fubtrafted.

I fliall not enter upon the Fabrick of their Bodies,
where Wifdom fits on every Mufcle. Let it fuffice, that
Galen takes Notice in his Bock de Forma Foetus, that in
human Bodies ther? are above 600 Mufcles ; and that

every

^he Gentleman Inftru^ed, 40^

every one requires at leaft ten Qualifications, So that
about thefe fmall Parts alone, no Icfs than 6000 Ends are
to be attended to. There are 284 Bones, and each has
above forty Ends, in all ten Thouiand ; and a Failure in
any one of thefe would caufe a great Irregularity in the
Body, and in many Death and Deftruftion.

Now not to dilate further upon this Proof, I appeal to
you, whether thefe ftrange and admirable Contrivances,
thefe natural Tendencies to one Point, and withal, thefe
Means fo proportionable, do not cry out, ipfe fecit kos^
^ mm ipji nos ? We are neither the Work of blind Chance,
nor the Produ6l of fatal Neceflity, but of an infinite
Power and Wifdom. We cannot call an Eye upon a
rough Landfkip, but the very Sight of it leads us to a
Painter: And if a Tree or Animal in Effigies conducts
us naturally to a Hand that drew them, and to Wifdom
that contriv'd them ; can thefe living Originals be fa-
ther'd on Hazard or Neceffity r

'tbea. Thefe things you mention are worthy of Obfer-
vation ; they entertain fometimes my ferious Thoughts,
and call me into Rapts of Admiration ; but yet they do
rot exceed the Force and Energy of Nature.

Eufeb. What do you mean by Nature? Is it an intel-
ligent Being; or void .of all Senfation and Reafon ?
if intelligent, you mifufe Words to confound Notions,
you represent God travefted into Nature: If it be depri-
ved of all Knowledge, then you run to Matter and Mo-
tion: Now thefe two are uncapable of Wifdom, they can
neither think nor underftand, they are without Reafon,
and even without Senfe. Notwithftanding the World
is inverted with plain Characters of Wifdom, they are
ftamp'd and engraved on each part of the Univerfe :
The Learned and Ignorant, the Vulgar and the Philo-
fophers are unanimous in this Point: What then re-
mains, but that we draw this neceilary Inference, that
fome wife, intelligent, eternal Being did raifeout of no-
thing this lovely Fabrick, that he plac'd every Creature
in its proper Station, prcfix'd its End, and provided it
with Inftruments to compleat the Work Providence has
aflign'd it.

Theo. You know our Underftandings are very fliort-
lighted, they difcover nothing plainly but our Ignorance;
wherever we look we find our felves encompals.'d wifh

Difh-

410 7he Gentleman hijlni^ed.

Difficulties; the moft trifling, the moft common Obje£l»
perplex our Reafon, we cannot fix aright Notion of
Produdtion J if we could, perchance the A'lyftery would
vanifh without any Recourfe to a firft Caufe. Your lit-
tle Tricks of Fafs furprize the Ignorant, who often af-
cribe to Magick ihofe Operations that have no other
Caufe than flight of Hand. In fine, as Mr, //'y^^j takes
Notice, the Multitude deifies what it cannot comprehend.
Ignorance ingets Admiration^ Admiration Ref^ed^ Refped
tear^ and Fear Religion.

Enfeb. lam glid to fee you fo low in your own Eyes
this Morning, and that your peremptory and dogmati-
cal Humour is fpent; furely you have lately made a
more intimate Acquaintance with human Nature; and a
fuller Difcovery of the Imperfedlions of our Intellcft
has read you a Leflbn of Humility. Indeed our Under-
ftandings are poor and unfurnifli'd, they come into the
World unfhap'd, and mull be polifhed by Study, before
they can give a tolerable Account of the moft obvious
Trifles ; and yet, when this is done, we cannot rely on
their Intelligence, for- they have but few Prmciples to
fteer by ; the Grofs of our Knovi'ledge is made of Illati-
ons, which are beaten out with great Labour and Atten-
tion ; and when we contemplate felf evident Truth at a
Diftance, the Mind is puzzled at the View of fome emer-
ging Circumftances; which makes u€ forget or miftake
the Connexion of the Confequence with the Premifes, and
then our Labour is rewarded with Error.

I wit hngly therefore grant, that I cannot dive into ab-
ftrufe Secrets of Nature. I neither know the Myftery
of Generation, nor that of Corruption. I believe 1 am a
Compound of two very differtut Ingredients, Spirit and
Matter : But how fuch difproportion'd things keep fo
ftrl6l a Correfpondence, I am as ignorant as the Child
unborn. Perchance a Philofopher may harangue, and
talk more plaufibly upon the Matter, than an Oyfter-
woman: But after all, if we bring his elaborated Dif-
courfe to the Teft, we (hall find nothing but cant
Terms, and fcholaftical Jargon. But what then? Can-
not I judge that Paul's Church never made it felf, before
i have conn'd over Vitruvius ? Or muft I know all the
Rules of Limntng to be fure the Signs in Lnndon are the
Work of a Painter? Tho* I cannot conceive which way

the

fhe Gentleman InflruBed, 411

the Thawes was turn'd, when the Bridge M-as built, or
when the Arches were form'd of Marble, or Free Stone ;
yet I am pretty well convinc'd by the Uniformity and
Contrivance of the Fabrick, that Wifdom and Art had
a Hand in the Building: And I would laugh at thofe
who ftiould maintain, that either Fate, Chance or Na-
ture plac'd the Stones in that regular Form. A thoufand
things in the Univerfe feem to me meer Riddles ; yet I
behold a ftately Machine made up of ten Millions of Pie-
ces: I fee Beauty, Symmetry and Defign ; this fuffices
to perfuade a rational Creature nothing but Wjldom con-
triv'd it, and nothing but Power put the Idea in Execu-
tion. So that I infer from what 1 knpw, that an infinite
Wifdom fram'd and governs the World j not from what
I do not know,

T'heo. You mufl: not argue from Works of Art to thofe
of Nature. We fee Bridges, Churches and Pidures
made by the Hands of Artificers, and therefore we ratio-
nally conclude, that even thofe that are of an older
Handing owe their Origin to Art. But whofnv the firft
Stone laid in the Foundation of the World ?

Eufeb. You turn"your Battery the wrong Way, and
level at your own Hypothefis asdiredly as I could wifh :
Becaufe we fee Pictures under the Hand of the Painter,
■and Edifices under thofe of Mafons and Carpenters, we
have reafon to infer, that all fuch things are Effe6ls of
an intelligent /l^ent ; but if fuch Trifles require an'un-
derftanding Artificer, I would know why the Fabrick of
the World, compacted of fo many Parts, fo curioufly
wrought, fo artificially knit together, fliould not lead us
to the fame Conclufion ? Have I right to afcribe the
raifing of a wretched Cabbin to Wifdom, and not the
whole Ffame of the Univerfe? Mull I confefs the pretty
Proportion of a Leafh of Wheels in a Watch is owing
to the Skill of a Workman ? And that the ftupendious
frame of my Body is the pure Obje6l of blind Chance,
or fatal NecelTity ? Certainly fuch palpable Abfurdities
would perfuade one, that Senfe and Reafon were not
made for Mankind j and that we force Nature when we
pretend to it.

DIA-

412 T-^^ Gentleman InJlruBed.

DIALOGUE XIX.

The fourth Proof. The Invention of Arts and Sciences
Jhevj the lyorld /j not eternal-^ and confequently that
It vjas made by a powerful Agert.

Eufeb.'^^fE fee new Arts ftart up with new Ages,
^' The World is now better provided, not on-
ly with Fences ngainft Necellity, but even with Sup-
ports of Grandeur, than it was twothouland Years ago.
I'he Difcovery oftheChart is but of late ftanding, tho'
of great Importance. The Inventions of Powder, and
cf the Prefs, are not much more ancient. Rerum Natura
facra non firnul tradk : Arts follow the Law of Nature,
they are brought forth by Degrees, and are polifh'd by
7^ime and Experience.

Other Arts, as they are more netefiary to Mankind,
fo they are more ancient ; yet we can track them up to
their Origin. We know the Inventors of Hufbandry and
Tillage, who traffick on Foot, and firfl: brav'd the
Ocean in Ships. Now if the World was eternnl, the
Induftry and Study of Man were eternal alfo. How then
is it credible that Men of the fame Temper with us, fa-
gacious, witty, and ambitious, fhould faunter away a
whole Eternity, without making thofe Difcoveries we
owe wholly to the laft fix thoufand Years ? Was the
World always a Child, always in its Non-age ? Has
it only arriv'd at the Years of Difcretion hnce fome i^"^
Ages ?

Again, the Defire to perpetuate their Memories runs in
the Blood of all Men. We hate to bury our Names in the
Grave with our Bodies, to lleep in Dull and Afhes, as
unknown to Pofterity, as we are to our Predeceflbrs :
Nay, fome have beenfo befotted with the Charms of Life
at fecond hand, that becaufe they wanted Virtues, they
prefented Pofterity with their Vices ; and thofe rather to
be blam'd than forgotten. I fuppofe our Fore-fathers
convey'd down to us their Inclinations, together with
their Nature ; and that none of their Paflions chang'd in
the Voyage, or were improved by Tranfplantation ; their
Prcpenfions lean'd the fame Way, they were as high-met-

led.

The Gentleman hjlnt^ed, 4 1 3

led, asiirecdy of vain Applaufe as we : -^It cannot there-
fore be queftion'd, but that Men fo fond of Glory en-
deavcur'd to glut their Appetite^ fome at the Peril of
their Live?, and others of their Quiet. It catinot be
thought they either wanted Matter or Occafion : Ambiti-
on never fleeps, il Hands upon the Catch, and either finds
a Subjcil for Adion, or makes one. The Power of a
Neighbour, or the Weaknefs, are both ftrong Temptati-
ons to an ambitious Prince; that promifes Glory, this
Conqueft; and either draws on a War. Pray tell me,
thererore, who were thofc ancient Heroes ? Where did
they Reign? What Province did they wafteor fubdue?
Who rais'd the firft Empire ? Who built the fecond on the
Ruins of the firft? Was not a whole Eternity able to pro-
duce one Homer, one Curtius^ one Livy ? Did it never
come into any King's Head to bribe a Pen, or to buy a
Panegyrick ? Were all the Wits of the World fo ftub-
born, as neither to be mov'd by Intereft nor Applaufe,
to write a New's-Letter or Gazette? Indeed I do not
wonder we have no exadl Diary of paft Tranfactions ;
for to digeft an eternal Story into Days, is a laborious
Ta(k, and requires a Purfe to buy Materials, as well as
a vait Stock of Patience to em.ploy them. But ftill, me-
thinks, we might reafonably expert fome F ragments, or
at leaft the Name of one Prince. But alas ! Ail th-sfe
Worthier lie intcrr'd under the Ruins of Time, their brave
Exploits fleep with their Perfons, and their very Empires
are drown'd in Silence and Oblivion. By the help ofpro-
phane Records, we cannot trace Time above the Thcban
War, zsLucretius confefll'S ; and therefore Macrcbins con-
cludes the World could not be eternal. Quis dubitet qiun
mundus recens ^ Kovusfit^ cum Hijioria Grceca bis mil/c
annorutn hifloriam vix contiyieat ? Who doubts but the
World ts of ajhort ftanii:^^^ feeing the Grecian Story gives
an Account only uj two thoufand Tears ? Perchance you
will fay. Writing is but of late Invention ; and that all
the memorable Actions of Antiquity perifh'd for want of
this happy Means of conveying them to Pofterity :
Where are at leaft the Painters and Carvers? A Pi-
fture. Statue, or Medal would have given fome Satisfa-
ction ; or had they rais'd one Pyramid, we might at leaft
have an Ailurance all Mankind was not drunk with
Opitimj and ftupified with an eternal Lethargy: But af-
ter

414 ^^^ Gentleman hifiruBed.

ter all, 'tis ftrange that fo bufy, fo fharp- a Creature as
Man, during an infinite Succeffion of Ages, fhould not
Humble upon the way of Writing, a tiling fo neceflary
to the Support of Society, and withal fo obvious : That
Man wa^ certainly fortunate indeed, who hit upon an Art
in fome Years, that had efcaped the Search of all Man-
kind for the fpace of a whole Eternity.

T'heo. The Anfwer to your Proof is very eafy, tempus
edax rerum, fung the Poet: Time, like Saturn^ devours
its Children : It confumes its own Produ6lions, and preys
upon its Offspring. Now if Time be fuch a Cormorant,
Eternity muft be a greater. Time, like Diftance, dimi-
nifhes Things ; but Eternity fwallows them up, and re-
moves them beyond the Sphere of Memory. How ma-
ny brave Anions within thefe thoufand Years have flipt
by the Pens of the mod inquifitive Hiftorians? They are
wore out of Memory, together with the Heroes thatat-
chiev'd them, and lieentomb'd in Oblivion and Forgetful-
nefs: Nay, Cities not only decay, but vanifh. Whatre-
mains of that famous Babylon^ but the Name ? We know
not what it was ; and are ignorant even where it flood.
And Florus confeffes, that in his time, not ov\\y Samnium
was loft, but alfo its very Ruins. If fome hw Ages eat
out the Memory of noble Exploits, and convey out of
fight Cities, together with the Earth they ftood on ; why
do you call for an exacS Regifter of Arts, an eternal Ge-
nealogy of Princes, or an Account of their Adlions ? They
are loft in an infinite Succeffion of Ages j they are drown*d
in the Ocean of Eternity.

Etijeb, By what Misfortune ?

Theo. By Deluges and Contlagrations.

Etifeb. Pray, Sir, let me aflcyou to what Office of In-
telligence you addrefs your felf for thofe Deluges, Con-
flagrations and Wars? Upon what Memorials do you
ground the Story of your Prce-adamitical Tranfadiions ?
To fay there were fuch things is not to prove it. And
what you allert without good Caution, may be deny'd
with Reafon.

Theo. Under Favour, methinks my Anfwer is very
much to the Purpofe. It attacks not your Proof in the
Rear, but in the Front ; and ftrikes at the very Heart
of it. You (hew the World was not eternal ; becaufe
it is inverted with all the Charaders of Novelty. In-

duftry,

The Gentleman- Injiru^ed, 415

duftry, you fay, either improves old Arts, or invents
new ones. Some are younger than we; others than our
P'athers ; and the molt ancient have their Origin. Their
Inventors are recorded in Story, and come v^nthin the
Memory of Books: Whence you conchade, the World
was not eternal ; becaufe thofe Arts mull of neceffity
have been of a more ftale Invention. For hov/ can a
Man imagine that thofe things fhould lie out of Sight for
a whole Eternity, which have been difcover'd in a few-
Ages ? To which 1 anlwer ; that all this may be very well
reconcil'd with the World's Eternity j for they might
have been found out an Infinity of Times, and as often
loft by accidental Deluges and Conflagrations. Now, if
by fuch unforefeen and irremediable Chances, Arts and
Sciences might fall into Oblivion, your Argument falls
. to the Ground, it cannot fubfift; and it is of no Force
to prove the Non-Eternity of the World.

Eufeb. My Argument is as well timbred as ever, and
your weak Reafon makes me more in Love with it :
For fuppofing fuch Accidents might happen, '. e. were
pofTible ; by what new coin'd Logick can you infer tliey
did? Many things maybe, that never will be, and he
that governs himfelf by PolTibilities, may fear all things,
and hope for any thing. Nay, your PolTibilities, as I
Ihevv'd before, like a two edged Sword, cut both ways,
they ftand for each Side of the Contradiftion, and whillt
they take both Parts, advantage neither. For as you
fay 'twas poflible for fuch Accidents to happen, and there-
fore conclude they did ; fo I affirm 'tv;as poffible not to
happen, therefore infer they did not. A-ly Aigurnent
is certainly ftronger than yours, for we find by,, Expe-
rience, that fewer things happen that are poffible, than
do not.

But to clofe with your Argument, I afk whether thofe
Deluges were particular or univerfal ? A particular In-
undation will not do your Bufinefs. For fuppofing the
Sea fhould break its Inclollire, and play fuch Pranks in
our liland, as it did in Attica-^ would the furviving part
of the World replunge into Barbarity and Ignorance ?
Would the Arts of Writing and Printing difappear in
France^ Spain znd huly^ becaufe £»^/ii«^ lay under Wa-
ter? No, no, Sir! The World would jog on. Artswould
fiourifhjuft as they do, Perchance the greater Sciences

of

^i6 The Gentleman hjm^'kd.

of making Pudding and Brawn, which (as Mr. John Ray
takes Notice in his Obfervations, are DiJ]jes proper to En""-
land) might fufFerby the Misfortune, yet Induftry might
retrieve them, for without doubt the Receipts were flip'd
into Flanders with our Armies; and as the Dutch taught
us to befiege Towns, fo certainly we inftruded them in
the deep Myfteries of Pudding an<i Brawn.

It follows therefore that thofe Deluges were univerfal,
(but not fupernatural I hope) for then you grant the
very thing we contend for, viz. a God. Nor could
they be natural; becaufe, according to the prefent Situa-
tion of Things, an univerfal Deluge caus'd by the Force
of Nature is utterly impoffible ; and I could eafily de-
monftrate it, did the Strefs of our prefent Debate depend
-upon Hydrojlattcki : But if I grant fuch a Deluge natu-
rally poffible ; yet as to the probability you are never the
nearer ; for how can any Man in his Senfes perfuade
himfelf, that a thing is probable, or likely to happen, that
has never fallen out in an infinite Duration? He that
can believe that to be probable, that has never come to
pafs in an eternal Revolution of Ages, mull not be an
Enemy to Credulity.

Theo. I never faid yet, that an univerfal Inundation
was probable; you have foilted in that Word for your
. own Advantage.

Eufeb. Have you not told me, thofe Deluges have come
fo very near the Matter, that few efcap'd ? That they
have brought Mankind a thoufand times within an Ace
of its Ruin? The Waters then did cover all the Surface
of the Earth; except a fmall Spot of Ground able to
give footing to half a Hundred. Why could they not
fwell fix Foot higher ? Who commanded this furious
Element to halt in that critical Point ? If it could rife
fo high, by the help of natural Caules ; why not fome
Foot higher ? And if it could ; why did it not in an
Eternity ? Methinks there fliould be Spring-Deluges, as
well as Spring-Tides? And in fuch a Tradl of Time it
might once atleaft mount to the higheft Pitch. In fine.
Sir, I defirc you, and the whole Sedlof Atheiftlcal Phi-
lofophers, to produce one Reafon that carries the le?ift
Shadow of Probability to prove the Waters naturally
could Iwell to the Tops of t!ie highelt Mountains, and
not cover them; if they cowld, within the Compafs of an

Eternity,

the Gentleman Inftru^eL 4.1 f

Eternity, they had done it : For it feems incredible, that
Nature fhould not do in an infinite Space whatever lay
within the Reach of its Power.

But again, it feems ftrange, that all the ingenious Part
of Mankind ftiould be involved in this common Ship-
wreck, and a fmall Parcel of illiterate, ignorant, unpro-
fitable Blockheads furvive the Fall of Nature: For if a
Hundred only efcap'd, 'tis very likely fome Mechanicksj
fome Carpenters, fome Plowmen, one at leaft that could
write and read, and probably one Taylor might be in this
fortunate Company; Jf fo, they might propagate their
Arts with their Blood, and re-people the World in a
ifhort Time with Trades, as well as with Inhabitants.
Now Things have happen'd quite contrary ; the World, .
tho' ftock'd with People, was many Years deftitute of
Arts. They knew .neither the way of Ploughing nor
Sowing ; they could neither plant Vines, or prefs Wine,
nor turn Milk into Curds, nor thofe into Cheefe. Men
liv'd on the meer Bounty of Nature, Water fatisfy'd
their Thirft, and Fruit their Hunger ; and for want of
the Poji- Office, every one did his own Meflageo Nay,
they had not the Wit to cover their Nakednefs ; fo
that God himfelf, according to Tradition, cut out the
firft Cloaths, and from this Moment we may date the
Company of Merchant-Taylors.

I come to your Conflagrations, which can only concern
Books ; for they cannot confume Arts, unlefs firll they
brey upon Men : And methinks the Fire mull have nickt
the Time, that is, fet upon all the Houfes in the World
together, when all Mankind was bury'd in a profound
Sleep, to do the Feat compleat. Now, I fancy, tho'
Flames fhould ftand upon the Watch for an Eternity,
they would never meet with fo fair an Occafion to difpatch
our Species : But at laft they have ravag'd Libraries,
you fay, and glutted their Rage with Memorials and
Records ; they not only turn'd Authors themfelves into
Afhes, but all the Hijiorical Didionaries, together wiih
the 'Journaiis des Scavens : So that their very Names
were confum'd with the Paper that preferv'd 'em, and
mingled with the Duft we tread on. Your Syftem is
too ridiculous to be examitr'd, too foolifh to be confu-
ted ; Reafon has an Antipathy againll fuch Abfurdities ;
?hey are unable even to work on a Madman, There is

E t DO

41 8 The Gentleman InJiruBed,

no queftion but Fire may mafter Libraries, as well as pri-
vate-Houles, and treat rhem with as little Regard as
Wbite~Hiill\ but this will not do your Jobb, to flave
P'hie^umenas^ we muft luppofe either that all the Books
in the World where wheedled into one Magazine, be-
foje the Minc-fprung; or that Fire-balls were caft intOx
all the Libraries at a Signal j thefe two Ways might do
a gi'eat deal of Execution, and difpatch'fome Tun of
Divinity and Hiftory in a fhort Time ; and I conceive
thty are poflible, but to fulpec^l 'em probable, is to im-
pofe on our Reafon ; the very Thought of fuch a Thing
is a Scandal to human Nature, but to believe it. Frenzy
and Madnefs.

D I A L O G U E . XX.

The fifth Proof. ^Tis fjexvn quafi a priore the IVorldvjas
mt eternal a fe.

Eufeb. T Confefs it's more eafy to deny than to prove ;
•*- the Afiailant always attacks at a Difadvantage ;
that is not above the Performance.of Ignorance, or Fol-
ly: But this requires both Wit and Study. However^
I wave your Advantage, and will draw a Reafon or two
from the very Nature and Conftitution of the World,
which, I think, comes near ConVidlion, and makes it
highly credible, it could not pofTibly be ab ceterno a fe.

if it were eternal^ it is a neceffary and independent
Being ; if neceffary and independent^ it muft be eternal
a partep pofi. For as it depends on nothing but it felf
for its Bcin^. it can dephnd on nothing diftant from its
felf for its Confervation; and as its own Nature was fuf-
Jficient to give it Exifience^ fo it is fufficient to continue
it; tlierefore if its £jv/y?f«f? -wzs necefj'ary, its Continu-
ation is neceflary, and if this be neceffary^ it muft be
eternal \ hence it follows, that if the Whole was eternal,
its Parts muft be eternal ; for the World is not diftindt
from all its Parts : Therefore, if the World was eternal,
all its Parts were eternal alfo a parte ante^ and will be
io a parte pofl : But no Part of the World is eternal y
therefore the Whole is not eternal. Let us lingle out

one

^he Gentleman InJlruBed, 41^

one Species : 'Tis evident Men are born, and die ;
therefore 'tis evident that Men were not a pane ante
eternal.

Theo. I wonder you will impofe upon the Compa-
ny ; this is not to realbn but to trifle, and the Proof
has more Raillery than Reafon. I know I was Nothing
fixty Years ago,- and that within fome time I fhall re-
turn to my everlailing Home. I am not of my felf,
but the Work of Nature, and muft march off when She
commands me, nor was there ever any eternal Indivi-
dual.

Eufeh. A little clearer if you pleafe ; when you fay
Man was eternal^ what do you mean .''

Theom. I mean the Species.

Eufeb. I underftand. Are you then turn'd Platonick,
and.feparate the Species from the Individuals? .

"Theom. No.

Eufeb. Why then, methinks it follows, if no Indivi-
dual was a ye-, the Species was not «/«•, becaufe the i^e-
cies is indiftinft from all the Individuals.

Theom. You call in again at Infinitum^ and forgot it
has no all. All is a Chimera, a kind of philofophicai
Bull^ not apply'd to a determinate Number.

Eufeb. Indeed Infmitttm has an excellent Situation,
like Cities in Boggs, there is no coming at it ;• but at
prefent it lies out of my way, and I fhall draw oiF with-
out meddling with it. But I muft tell you I take a Rid-
dle for a Solution : At lealt human Species is eternal
a fe,

'theom. I have granted it.

Eufeb. Why then it can never beextindt: For what
depends of it felf muft be eternel, and whatever is eter-
nal a [e parte ante., muft be fo a parte poft,\ unlefs per-
chance the Fancy Ihould take a Thing tft deftroy its felf,
which is unlikely, and impofTible to our Hypothefis.
For whatfoever exifts a fe, exifts necejfarily ; but what
exhlfnecejfarily afe, muft always exift, otherwife it will
be necejfary, and not necejfary, which implies a flat Con-
tradidlion.

Theom. Well, fuppofing this true ; what do you in-
fer ?

Eufeb. That our Species is a Stranger to Eternity, as
well as its Individualsj and no more a fe than you or

E e ;» Ij

420 ^he Gentleman Injiru^ed,

I: For all thofe Men who are now in Being muft onct
knock off, and fubmit to the common Fate of Morta-
lity.

Theom. They muft, this is a terrible Truth, but pall
Debate ; methinks I would purchafe one Dole of JEfcu-
laplus'-i immortal Pojfet-Drink^ at any rate.

Eufeb If they dy'd without Iffue, our Species would
be at an end..

Theory. Moft true ; if they made a Vow of Continence,
and kept it;^ our Race would be fhort-liv'd: But I have
no great Apprehenfion, that all Mankind will engage in
an /IJfoctation to ftand by Chaftity with their Lives and
Fortunes, or to die Batchelors.

Eufeh. It's not very likely indeed : So long as there is
an Atheift in the World, the work of Propagation will
goon: At leaft fuch a Refolution is not impoflible, for
you and I can make it, and there is the fame Reafon for
every Man in the World : 'Tis therefore poflible for the
whole Species to perifh.

Theom. What then ?

Eufeb. Why then it follows by an evident Illation,
that our Species is not afe: For whatever is afe, muft
of Neceflity be eternal a parte poft^ as it is eterml a parte
ante. I'he fame Argument takes in any Species now
exiftent j whence I conclude, that if no Species be eter-
nal, no Part of the World is eternal, nor by confe-
quence the Whole.

Theom. Not fo faft, if you pleafe : You prove too
much ; and by confequence Nothing.

Eufeb. How fo ?

The'im. Could not God (if there be fuch a Thing)
have created the World ab ceterno ?

Eufeh. My Reafon tells me he could not : But not to
engage in a Maitter foreign to our Difpute, I grant he
could.

Theom. Let us then fuppofe he did create it nb ceterno ;
in this Cafe our Species would be eternal a pane antf.

Eufeb. It would.

Theom. Therefore by your Way of demonftrating, it
would be eternal a parte pofi •„ becaufe according to your
nev/ Logick, whatever is eternal one way, muft be
eternol the other: Bui I conceive the \\\\o\q, Species might
be ftifi?d by your general Aflbciatipn-, even in ihi? Hypo-^

thefts^

lloe Gentleman InftruBed, 42 1

thefis^ as well as in the other, therefore it evidently fol-
lows, that the Species of Mankind would be eternul^ and ^
not eterwal,

Eufeb. Sir, you miftake the Force of my Argument.
I do not fay, whatever is eternal a parte ante^ mull be
fo a parte pcji : But whatever is eternal a parte a?2te aje^
mull be eternal a parte pojl. 1 gave you the Realon juft
now, viz. becaufe whatever exifts a fe \s ia^epoideKt,
and intrinjically necejfary, and therefore it's incapable of
Deftru6lion ; but whatever is created, depends of its
Caufe, to whole Power alone it owes its Being ; and by
confequence is nothing intrinficaily neccjfory : It's there-
fore no more ftrange, that Things that are by Cuurtefy,
and exift by Benevolence perifli, than that Men walk oif,
and crumble into Dull and Allies,

T'heom. But if weluppofe with /^rz/^o/Zf-, that God is a
necejj'ary Agent^ two Things naturally follow : /"'V/?,
That our Species was ab iStento ; and Secondly^ That
it is necejfary : Therefore it was neceflary ab aterno :
For in this Cafe it could not be ab aterno ; yet this
being granted, the Difficulty returns upon you ; for if
you fay, our Species (in this Suppolition) mull be eter-
nal a parte pojl^ what can hinder me from making the
fame Reply ? If you fay, it may perifh, therefore 'tis
true, that our iS/'e-^r/Vj may end, tho' it be eternal a fe^
independent and necejfary.

Eufeb. You have call the Caufe upon a palpable Un-
truth, and beg the Proteflion of an Abfurdity : Howfoever
to combate your Opinion more fuccefsfully, we'll examine
its moll plaufible Pretences, and fee if we can difcover
the Weaknefs of them. I fay then, this Retreat will
not fecure you : For till yoxxr Species remains intrinjically
contingent^ and has no other NeceJJity but that of its
Caufe ; according to its own Nature it may exift or
not exift : It has no Perfedlion inherent, that challenges
before Non-Exiftence : So that if it be granted, that it
did exift neceflarily ab aterno, this NecelTity is meerly
extrinfical ; it's nothing but an Imperfedlion of the
Caufe, no Perfedion of the Effedl : Now in this Suppo-
iition our Species might perifh, becaufe it has no in-
trinfick Virtue that oppofes its Deftruition ; but if it
cxifts a fe, then Exiftence is indentified with its Nature,
and it can no more ceafe to be, than it could not be :

E e 3 So

422 ne Gentleman InJlruBed.

So that no Hypothejis can elude an Argument ; where-
fore I conclude it's evident our Species may be extin-
.guifh'd, therefore it's evident it cannot be eternal a fe.
But pray remember what I told you juft new, your Ar-
_ gument owes its Force to a palpable Abfurdity, and you
' know fuch Weapons do fmall Execution : You fuppofc
God a neceJJ^ary Agent, now the very Suppofition deftroys
him ; for Liberty is a Perfeilion : Seeing therefore God
is infinite in Perfedlion, you cannot fuppofe him void of
Freedom, without fuppofing him not infinitely perfedl,
and by eonfequence not God: So that your Difcourfe
TUns thus ; If God were God, and not God ; // he created
Tiecejfar'ily a Species ab reterno, and did not create it ; this
Species would not be fub]ed to DeflruBion, and would be
fubjed to Definition : This \?,cornutum argzimentum^ but
becaufe it goars with both Horns, it wounds with nei-
ther.

Again : If God lay under a Neceflity of creating ab
aterno^ why of this World rather than of another ? If
nothing elfe lies within the reach of his Power, a finite
Perfe6lion has drain'd his creative Faculty : His Omni-
fotence is at a Stop, and by eonfequence his Infinity
and Being at an End: If he can create fomething elfe,
■what determin'd him to leave all other Creatures in the
State of Nothing, and to inveft this World with Dig-
nity of Exiftence ? If the Determination came from the
Nature of the World, then it requir'd Exillence abetter no^
and fo muft have been ab (Ctemo, without any Obligation
to God for its Being: If from God, than he is free, and
the Exiftence of the World is the Effeftof his Liberality,
not of Neceflity ; whence it follows, that every Mo-
ment it lies at his Mercy, he may thruft every Individual
into Nothing, with the fame Freedom and Eafinefs he
drew them out of it.

Some Philofophers, I know, make God a necelTary
jigent^ not to fuppofe him idle ; they fancy Lazinefs be-
comes his Majefty lefs than Neceflity, and becaufe they
cannot aflign him any other Employment but Creation,
they infer he created this World ab ceterno.

Thefe People come within an Ace of the Extravagance
of the Poets, who to cut out fome Work for their God
J^ercury^ made him a Poft;-Boy: But let us take at pre-
fent thefe Dreams for Truths, thefe Fi6lions for Conten* :

It

T'he Gentleman Inftm^ed. 423

It follows at leaft he may deftroy this World, upon Con-
dition he'll take the Pains to build another ; nay, he may
raife with one Hand, and pull down with the other, for
all Eternity : For in this Cafe it is evident he cannot
want Employment, and his Bufinefs will equal his Acti-
vity: So that to conclude in Spight of the Proteilion.of
AbVurdity it felf, you mult confefs, that every Species
that exilb is fubjett to Deitrudlion, and therefore not
afe.

Theom. Tho' no Species be eternal, Matter may be
eternal.

EufeL What if it be ?

Theom. U it be, thefe different Species Vv^hich grace the
World, might fpring out of the firft Fruitfulneis of the
Earth, which certainly was more prolifick fome Ages ago
than at prefent.

Eufeh. Ho, Sir! We are out of our way, and juft fal-
len on the Confines of Democratif/n. The lad Moment
the World was Ens a /?, and now by the Virtue of fome
rare Adventure, it's transform'd miO'AnEns per Accdens.
Seeing you are in a Fit of Fi6lion, make ufe of Fancy
before it cool, and fay Men are hatcht in Ovens like
Chickens in Egypt., or that Beafts fpring from Muck,
and Men from Parfly-Beds. I am almoft afham'd to
confute Abfurdities, fo grofs at firft Sight, fo palpable,
that no Difcourfe can make them more apparent ; W.'iat
would the World fay, if you advance this Opinion in
Print ? They ought to look upon you as mad or foolifh,
if they would do you Right: But I admit the wond'rous
Fecundity of the Earth, and ask you how it comes to
pafs the Species of Animals are not eternal ? For either
the Earth poflefs'd this prolifick Quality ab aterno^ or it
did not } if it did not, by what happy Chance did it
come by it? If from it felf, it muft be eternal ; if from
another, you admit a diftindl Agent, and fo our Contro-
verfy is at an End: If it did pollefs this prolifick Virtue
ab aterno, then it produc'd all things ab ccterno (for
I fuppofe Matter is a necefTary Agent :) But if this Vir-
tue be eternal, mcthinks it fhould ftill remain, and
then we might have the Satisfaftion fometimes to breed
Horfes out'of Quagmires, or reap good Crops of Men.
If this producing Quality falls with Age, why is it not
quite extindl? Why does the Earth bring forth any

E e 4 thing ?

4^4 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ed.

thing ? An inexhauftible Virtue will run upon the Lees \f^
the Space of an Eternity, and end in Sterility. Thus yoy
fee your felf at a Lofs, tho' xVLatter be eternal ; the more
you evade a firft Agent diftinft from the World, the
more you encounter him, and you have nothing left but
the Liberty of being a Deift or a Fool.

But to give full Satisfadlion, I offer you a Reafon or
two, which feem to conclude, the very Matter cannot
be eternal a/?. Firft, 'tis evident, of all Beings Matter
comes the neareft to Nothing, it has fcarce any other
Perfe6lion, than that of hzre Ex f/iefjce, 'uspura poten-
tial a meer Capacity: Now upon what Right does this
abjedl Thing challenge the glorious Attribute of J^fetty
and Eterritty ? Before we put it in PolTeffion of fuch tran-
icendent Titles, both Reafon and Juftice command us
to examine its Pretenfions : On account of Perfe6lion,
It can put in no Claim, for the moft vile Infedls that
creep in Mire, and fpring from Corruption, lock up a
greater Treafure of Perfedlions in an Eye alone, than are
diftus'd thro' the whole Mafs of Matter: If therefore
iieither thefe, nor even Man himfelf dares afpire to /»-
dependence and Eternity^ why fhpuld Matter? To ad-
judge it thefe incommunicable Predicates on Account of
Imperfeftion, is very extraordinary : Indeed fuch a Sen-
tence may argue Compaffion or good Nature in a Judge,
but not one Grain of Juftice : Is Beggary a Title to
Greatnefs ; or Peafantry to Nobility ? Becaufe I am born
a Scavenger, muft I challenge a Place at the Council
Table ; or fue for a Dukedom, becaufe my Family
wants a Coat of Arms ? Is it not as ridiculous to dignify .
Matter •tyith Afeky, becaufe it borders upon Nothing, as
to make it independent^ becaufe it cannot exift without
fome Form ?

Theom, It's right. Independence is neither founded on
Imperfedion, nor Perfedtion, but on its Nature.

Eufeb. What do you mean ? Is not Afcity a Perfe-
6lion ?

Theom. Yes,

Enfeb. Therefore the Exigence of Afeity founded in
Matter muft be a Perfection ; for certainly to claim a
Perfedlion as a Debt, not a Gift, is one ; but how dp
you know this Exigence is founded on the Nature of
Matter ? A Gentleman's Word will not pafs current a-

mong;il

The Gentleman Injiru^ied. 42^

mong][l Philofophers, as it does amongit Taylors and
Vintners : They require Caution, thole ipfe dixit Days
expir'd with old Pythagoras^ and according to the pre-
fent Conftitution of Mankind, will not revive in our
Time : Tell me then, by what myfterious Light have
you difcovered, that Afeity is entail'd on Matter, that
it's a Branch of Birth-Right ? I conceive an Afiertion may
be prov'd two ways, either by Authority or Reafon ;
could you fubpoen a a Brace of eternal Witnefles, they
might go far to the clearing the Point in Contrcverfy,
but there are few of that Stamp in the Nation; they are
as rare as a reafonable Atheift: Seeing therefore Witneiles
cannot relieve you, you muft retreat to Reafon j regale
us, I befeech you, with a Demonftration.

Theom. We find by Experience, that Matter is not
liable to Corruption ; tho' Compounds rife and fall, it
ftands immoveable ; it neither lofes any thing by Time,
nor gains : There was no more a thoufand Years ago
than to Day, nor will there be lefs in future Ages, than
at prefent, it therefore will be eternal^ and if it will be
eternal^ it has been ab (Cterno.

Eufeb. You prove well, that as Matter cannot be
corrupted, fo it cannot be generated, and by confequence
will be eternal; fo far you are in the Right: But then
it does not follow it wasay^ akaterm^ becaufe it might
have been created ; for the Impoffibility of Creation can-
not be inferr'd from any true Principle : Nay, I have
prov'd already, that Matter could not be a fe^ fo that
your Argument falls to the Ground, and without any
Prejudice to the force of my Proof.

Secondly^ IfMatter be f-^-j a/^, zndeternal, necejfary,
and independent Being, it is adus purus, i. e. it had no
Capacity to receive any more Perfections, than thofe it
poflefs'd ah ceterno ; for there is no Reafon why it fhould
poflefs one more than another: Therefore ab ceterno^ it
either poflefs'd no Perfe6tion, which deftroys the Hypo-
thefis, or all: If it had a//, it cannot receive any more;
therefore if it be eternal afe^ necejfary and independent^ it
js aSlus purui^ incapable of any further Perfedtion.

Again, if it be necejfary and independent, it cannot
lofe any Perfedion it had ab ceterno -^ becaufe, if it could,
ttiat might be, and might not be, and by confequence
would not be intrinfically neceflTary ; befides, as it de-
pends

426 ^he Gentleman In/ini^ed.

pends on its felf alone for its Being, fo nothing diftindt
can poDibly deftroy it.

Hence it follovv's, that whatever is eternal afe, -necef-
firy zwd. 'mdependeMt, mud be unalterable ; for all Change
IS a JVIotion, either from a greater Perfedion to a iefs, or
from a Iefs to a greater, or at lead to an equal: Seeing
therefore an eierfiul, neceff'ary and independent Being is
aduf purus, uncapable either of acquiring or lofingany
Perfection, it muft be unalterable.

Hence it follows, that Matter cannot be eternal^ ne-
cejfary znd independent : Firll, becaufe it is an incom-
pleat Being, and has a natural Tendency to Forms; 'tis,
as f may fay, out of its Element, in a State of Violence
and Longing, until it compafles a perfect Body, and
cannot naturally exifl: without the a6lual Exercife of that
Office : To be therefore a Part is one of Matter's Per-
fedlions, becaufe nothing can naturally defire, what is
rot a natural Perfection : Now I have prov'd already
that no perfect Species could be eternal, therefore Matter
did acquire fome new Pcrfe6tion when thofe Species be-
gan, "which it had not before i hence it follows, that
Matter is milhcr a^us purus., nor unalterable, becaufe
in time it acquir'd a Perfection which it had not ab ceterno^
and by confequence is not a fe, neceJJ'nry and independent ;
therefore it was created by an All-powerful Agent, which
we call God.

Theom. We are bemir'd in AriflotWs Materia prima,
and llipt into the Syftem of fubftantial Forms: You would
fcare me with old Peripateticifm, and put oft' obfolete
Dreams for Demonftration : That counterfeit Coin is
call'd in, and only goes cui rent at Salamanca in Spain,
where Antiquity has the fame Charms as Novelty has
with us: They Itick to old Opinions, as they do to old
Fafliions, and will no more part with Arijhtle, than the
Chinefe with their Beards : But we have degraded the Sta-
girite. -To fwear in verba Magiftri^ is an Incroachment
upon our Liberty ; in fine, Sir, Materia prima is an
empty Name, and fubftantial Forms a groundlefs Inven-
tion ; and your Demonftration is void of all Force, be-
caufe it relies on Fiction and Vifion.

Eufeb. I neither declare for Arijlotle nor Gajfendus,
nor have a greater Inclination for Des Cartes, than the
Chyatijh : My Proof runs thro' any Hypothefis, and is

calcu-

'fhe Gentleman InJiruBed, ^iy

calculated up for all Syftems. Tell me your Opinion,
that I may model my Argument, and point it againft
your Evafion,

T'heom. What we call Matter^ is nothing but a complex
of various fimple Bodies ab atemo ; they by an innate
Quality fcoLir about, and by a mutual Concourfe frsme
thofe Compounds that ftock the Univerfe: The Visrje-
ty only coniilts in the Diverfity of Combinations: When
fuch a Number o^ hot, dry, and maift Atoms cling toge-
ther, upftartsa //or/^i the fame may be fa id of Mixis:
They differ meerly accidentally, and have no other Form
(if I may fay fo) than xYitTeleity of the Mixture ; hence
it comes, that Matter is not fubjed to Changes, and
is only capable of a new extrinfick Perfedlion : Beiides
thofe Atoms being perfeil in them.felves, have no Bent
or Inclination to compound; They areas content in a
State of Separation, asof Compofition ; and as wiilingly
form a Worm as 2. Monarch : Tho' therefore vy^^f/V/ were
not al> ceterno afcy Matter enjoin'd all its natural Perfec-
tions ab a!erKOy and is withal unchangeable, unlefs you
call a new Situation, Alteration, er'r. So that you mufl
forge a new Demonflration, if you intend to argue Mat-
ter out of Afelty.

Ezifeb. I fuppofe you do not expe(n: a Confutation of
your Syltem, it lies at prefent quite out of my Way,
and can be no Part of my Tafk : I difcharge my Duty,
if I fhew, that the Atorrafiical Hypothejis does not wea-
ken the Force of my Realon : Notwithftanding I muft tell
you, a wife Man will not eafily believe, that dull and
dead Atoms are able to frame a living Creature : For
certainly Life is fomething more than the bare Motion
of hot, moiji, and dry Atoms, and an Atheift mufl have
as mean an Opinion of himfelf as of God, before he can
ailert, that the only Diftindion betvv'een him and anln-
fedl, lies in the Difference of the Mixture : Methinks,
fuch an Opinion might difpofe him to Modefty : Nay, of
all Men, he fhould be the leaft prefuming, who acknow-
ledges fuch a bafe Extraction, and puts no other Diffe-
rence between him and a Brute, than between /Ik e Ho l-
land ^ndScotch Cloth : Yet, upon Experiment, thefe are
the great Pretenders of Mankind, who while they con-
fefs themfelves fo near ally'd to Beafts, adore their Ex-
cellencies, and fall down before Cahet, as the Jews did

in

428 ^he Gentleman Inflru^ed,

in theWildernefs : Indeed he that wants Leifure or Capa^^
city to examine his Nature, or perfuades himfelf his
better Part is immortal, may grow vain upon a kind
Prefumption, or the real Convidion of fuch a towering
Perfeclion ; but for a Man to be proud, who pretends to
demonftrate his own Bafenefs, is httle lefs than Frenzy ;
Now pray attend. Atoms, you lay, have an intimate
Principle of Motion ; Nature, as we find by Experience,
always works feme End, therefore that Motion of the
Atoms' has fome End ; we cannot difcover the Ends
better than by the EfFeits, the EtFedls are Compounds,
therefore the End of that Motion inherent in the Mat-
ter is Compound ; hence it follows, that adtually tocon-
Ititute a compos'd Body, is a Perfe6lion of the Matter,
becaufe it is a Po'Teflion of the End, to which Nature
inclines it ; but it did not poflefs this End ab ccterno^
therefore ab <eterno it wanted fome Perfedlion, of which
it was capable; therefore 'tis alterable, and by confe-
quence not eternal afe^ befides if it had not all the Per-
fections ab ceterno^ it poflefles them in Time, it had no
Perfe6lions ab ceterno \ becaufe there is no Reafon why it
fhould have one, and not all others of which it is capa-
ble. Wherefore I conclude it was not ab ccicrno a fe,
neither will it avail you to reply, thefe Perfed:ions are
accidental ; fii^Ji, becaufe ens a fe can have no accidental
Perfedlion, for whatever it has is neceifary andindentify'd
with its Nature; znd fee ofidly, becaufe it isa^uspnrtis^
as I faid before.

'Theom. This is ridiculous toExcefs ! What if a Ball of
Wax was a fe, could I not mould it into a Cube, not
melt it down? You return a Paradox for an Anfwer.

Eufeb. You muft not wonder if one Abfurdity begets
another, a ridiculous confequence flows from a ridicu-
lous Antecedent; and one Paradox is the beft Proof of
another. To exped: Reafon from Nonfenfe, is to gape
after Impoffibilities. If you fuppofe a Sphere of Wax
eternal a fe, either that Figure was neceflary, or it was
not ; if it was not, who call it into that Form ? Why was
it a Sphere rather than a Cube ? If it owes the Deter-
mination to fome exterior Principle, then the Wax was
not a fe, becaufe the Figure was not : If that Figure was
neceflary, the Nature of the Wax requir'd it ; if the Na-
ture of the Wax requir'd it, it can be deftroy'd no more

than

ne Gentleman InJIrucfed, 425^

than the Nature : But if you fuppofe that Sphere a fe,
the Nature of the Wax cannot pcffibly be deftroy'd,
therefore neither can the Figure ; indeed that Wax would
be very ftubborn, but Impoflibilities are an inflexible
Generation, and can no more be brought over to Rea-
fon, than Atheifts. The World therefore is not eternal
afe, nor any Part of it; whence it remains, that a moft
powerful Author drew it out of Nothing, to whom we
owe our Being and Converfation, and by confequence
Homage.

Theom. Is this all you have to fay to the Point ?

Eufeb. I could enlarge on the Matter ; but for the
prefent, I leave the Arguments to your Confideration.
We lie under a Dilemma ; if they hold good, they will
ftand Upon Record againft you; "if not, againfl me;
which I fuppofe will be no unacceptable Revenge. You
will have the Satisfaction of laughing at the Vanity of
the Attempt, and of applauding your Abilities into the
Bargain.

DIALOGUE XXI.

Thefixth Proof. Tho'* there were a GoD, he cannot con-
vince thofe Atheifts of his Beings vjho refufe AJfent to
the foregoing Proofs.

Eufeh.T Have worfted you in the Judgment of Autho-
^ rity, and have difpatch'd Part of your Excep-
tions: We are come to the laft Tribunal ofReafon, and
if I have the good Fortune to foil you here, our Suit is at
an End ; and certainly I have ail the Grounds in the
World to hope a favourable Iflue, for Reafon never re-
verfesthe Sentence of univerfal Tradition, when back'd
with a hundred Reafons.

In the firft Place ; you cannot admit the World to be
eternal afe, without ftriking upon a manifeft Abfurdity ;
now Abfurdities cannot poflibly flow from Truth ; they
are the Children of Falfhood, and the Offspring of Error.

Theom. If you can fhew that the Hypothejis of the
World's Eternity leads to any thing that claflies with Rea-
fon, or borders upon Error, without doubt I lie at your

Mercy :

430 ne Gentleman InJiruBed,

Mercy : The Confequence takes after the Antecedenti
and 'tis impoirible for that to be ridiculous, without this
be erroneous.

EHJ''eh. You have granted, That if there be a God, he
can manifell his Being to Men, by fome fenfible Effedof
his Omnipotence.

Theom. I have, and a Man mull: take Pleafurein Folly,
and dote on Contradictions, bfefore he can deny a Truth
fo evident : For to confefs an omnipotent Being, and to
refufehim the Povi^er of manifefting himfelf by fome ex-
terior Sign to a Creature who is furnifh'd with Senfes,
and endow'd with Reafon, is a flat Contradiction.

Eufeb. I arn glad to hear fo ingenious a Confeflion :
Fray therefore take Notice ; if God intended to difco-
ver himfelf by an exterior Sign, he would chufe fome
ftately Work worthy of his Power, and fui^table to his
Grandeur.

Thcom. He would.

Enfeb. Let us then fuppofe for fome Moments, that
you and I flept in our Beds of pure Poffibility ; that we
are now, what we were a thoufand Years ago, very No-
things. Let us fuppofe befides, that all things elfe fall in-
to the fame State of Impotence ; that an infinite Being
exifts alone, and refolves to communicate his Perfections
to fome Creatures, and to manifeft himfelf to Man, the
moft perfect Piece of his Power. Immediately one Fiat
calls a glorious Fabrick from an eternal Nothings uniform
in Variety, and various in Uniformity : A Creature dig-
nified with Reafon, fet off with Senfes, and enrich'd with
a hundred noble Qualities, marches at the Head of this
new-born Multitude : He admires at the ftately Archi-
tecture of the infant World, the multiplicity of Parts, the
ftupendious Contrivance and Harmony of the whole :
Can he, or his Pofterity by the Force of Reafon come to
the Knov/ledge of the Deity that made it? According to
your Principles they cannot : For tho' we fuppofe this
new-fram'd World a thoufand Times more perfeCt than
that we live in, they may conclude it Was eternal, as now
you do, and they have a better Plea, becaule we fup-
pofe it more perfeCt. 'Tis true, the firft Man knows he
is not eternal, but of what Standing the World is, or
how it comes to be, is a Myftery : He may afcribe his
good Luck to Chance or his own Nature, as well as you;

but

but if we come to his Defcendants, they will be at a
puzzle for the Original of their G-enealogy : They can
arrive at the Knowledge of it, either by Tradition or
Reafon ; and if by either, or both thefe Means they can
be afcertain'd they had a Beginning, why are not you
aflur'd we had one? For which way fnall they meet with
a more diftulive Tradition, or more pregnant Arguments
than we have for the Beginning of this World? If the
Structure of the nev;-fuppos'd World be admirable to
Amazement, that of the old is furprizing: If there ap-
pear in the Conftitution of that, as many Characters of
Wifdom and Power, as Parts, the very Blind may read
as many in the Frame of this ; that may open us a Per-
fpedtive of Miracles, and this unfolds a Scene of Won-
ders : If therefore in fpight of Tradition and Reafon, in
fpight of the moft vifible Charaders of Wifdom and
Power; in fine, maugre as many Wonders as there are
Objects without us, or Veins, Mufcles and Arteries
within us, Atheiits deny this World had any other Author
than its own Neceflity and Independency ; why may not
the Atheiits of the new World elude the Force of Tradi-
tion and Reafon by your wretched Evafion ? They may
certainly entrench themfelves in the Hypothejis of Eter-
nity, and out-face, by your Example, downright De-
monftration.

Theom, Tho' indeed thefe new Gentlemen would be
at a Nonplus^ as well as we; and 1 believe that would
vie Incredulity with this, yet God might manifeft him-
felf many Ways : Firfi^ By infufing into all Men as: clear
a Convidlion of his Being, as we have of the firft Prin-
ciples of Reafon : Secondly, By teaching them fome De-
monftration, that he created the V/orld, v;hich lie;? out
of Sight: hndThirdly, By divine Revelation. Thefe
Methods are very feafible, and I fancy would do the
Bufinefs.

Eufeb. Firft, All thofe Ways are fupernatural : Now
*tis very ftrange that Omnipotence fhould want Pow.sr to
frame a Work capable to point out to a rational Creature
its divine Contriver, without the Affiftance of Miracles:
But again, tho' God fhould infufe into all thofe Inhabi-
tants of the new World, as clear a Knowledge of their
Origin, as of the firft Principles, do you think ;ill De-
bates would vanifh at the Approach of that glaring

Light ?

43 ^ The Gentleman hifiru^ed.

Light ? Have not Men deny'd the Truth of thefe great
Principles in fpite of Convi6lion, altho' they had no
other Temptation to be foolifh, but the Pleafure of con-
tradidting ? And why fliould you expeft in your Cafe a
more reafonable Procedure ? Efpecially when the omni-
potent Motives of Lewdnefs andEpicurifm, that debauch
your Underilanding, would corrupt and bribe theirs : For
they may oppofe againft Demonftration thefe Arguments
which fupport your Obftinacy, and buoy up your Infi-
delity. I cannot conceive how it is poffible for an infi-
nite Mercy, and an infinite Juftice to meet in the fame
Subje6l, how Juftice can pardon, or Mercy puniflij
therefore, there is no fuch Thing.

To fay fomething can be made of nothing, is to crofs
upon Reafon ; to build new Principles upon the Ruin of
the old, and by confequence to break down the Inclo-
I'urc between Sophiftry and Demonftration, Truth and
Falfhood ; therefore the H'^orld was not created: Nay,
'twas poffible to h^ ab aterno, therefore/'^ was. What
Evidence can befecure from the Attempts of thefe Ar-
guments 't They dare attack Euclid^ and huff ^pollqnitii:
U refoluce Denials pafs content for Proofs, and foffibi-
lities for Demonftratlons, we pafs all things on Cour-
tefy. A Man that dares look a Fool in the Face, may
do ftrange Execution ; he may deny us into Nothing,
and by dhe fly Turn of a Poffibility demonftrate us out
of Being.

Theom. Nay, a Man that is refolv'd to pufh Folly
home, may puzzle a fix form Philofopher, yet the De-
feat of the one, will prove more glorious than the Vidlo-
ry of the other ; but then I thought Evidence carried all
before it, and captivated more Underftandings than the
Grand Seignior has enflav'd Chriftians.

Eufeb. Evidence indeed is generally victorious, but
oftentimes 'tis over-match'd : A Man feconded by Preju-
dice or Intereft, ftands immoveable ; you muft change
his Circumftances before he will alter his Opinion : His
Underftanding never changes Sides, unlefs Intereft mar-
ches offfirft; but when this wheels about, that follows
through a thoufand Errors. The Sun has Beams enough,
not only to fill, but even to dazzle a well-difpos'd Eye;
but if a Film crofies the Pupil, or a Catarait interpofes
between the Cryftal, in fpight of Light the Organ re-
mains'

T'he Gentleman Inflru^ed, 433

imains in Obfcurity, and the Patient finds the Effe<^s of
Night, and the Horror of Darknefs at Adid-day : Thus
Ihe Caufe ftands with the Underftanding. I grant thofe
People we talk of would have Proofs fufficient to content
a well-difpofed Underftanding, and fo have you ; but
if they are haunted with the Spirit of Difpute and Ob-
ftinacy, if Intereft ftands againft Creation and God, the
Intelledl falls prefently into Diforder, Mifts arife, and
Fumes interpofe ; and when 'tis thus difmounted. Evi-
dence by a kind oi Antiparijiajis produces Obftinacy, not
Convifftion, and rather hardens the Heart than foftens
the Brain.

Your fecond Means is expos'd to the fame Exceptions:
I do not queftion hut God can draw a Legion of Demcn-
ftrations from the Conllitution of the World to evince
he made it, which are not within the reach of our
Knowledge: Yet if the new-found World Atheifts are
of the fame Temper with thofe of our Horizon, they will
difpute their Ground, and never furrender, till the Fire
of Hell ads upon Seni'e, and fo conveys Truth into
the Underftanding by eternal Sufferings : For as you (a-
gainft the common Vote of Mankind, againft the plain
Conviftion of Reafon)caft Creation out of Doors, both
as neediefs and impolTible, what hinders them from fol-
lowing your Foot-fteps, and oppoling to all Demonftra-
tions thefe groundlefs Conjedtures, that fupport your in-
credulity ? If you fay a Man that dares fly in the Face
of Evidence is a Monfter, that he ought rather to be caned
than argu'd into Reafon, you are in the right ; but thefe
Monfters over- run the World, they are grown fo com-
mon, that they rather pleafe than aftonilh ; for now an
inflexible Obftinacy, and a mighty Wit are become fy-
nonimous, and 'tis tar more warrantable und modifh to
ftand clofe to Intereft, than [o yield to the Force of
Reafon.

I cannot guefs why PveVclation fliould prove mors
effedtual'than Demon'ftraiion; thefe inward Lights are
always accompany'd with fome '^Abfurdity j and though
they illuminate, they leave us in the dark : An unwary
Man miay eafily be deluded, he may miftake Tempta-
tion for Infpiration, and tlic Voice of God ibr the Spirit
of Fornication. We remember yet what mad Pranks
our Fathers law the laft Age, whea-People rebell'd by

F f Uivii.Qf

434 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^ei.

divine Impulfe, and executed their Prince on a Scaffold
by Revelatfon ; when they bled their Fellow-Subjeds
Purfes, and then their Veins, by the Command of the
Spirit ; when they tranlgrefs'd God's Laws by Providence,
and thofe of Nature by Infpiration: And asMen fanati-
cally inclin'd, take every Impulfe of PafTion for divine Re-
velation ; fo they who love Libertinifm look upon Reve-
lation it I'elf as an IlJuhon, they wiil admit of nothing
Divine, but Senfuality, they examine Truth by the Stan-
dard of Pleafure, and whatever baulks Appetite is Spleen
and Vifion : One would think the Revelation of the •
World's Creation made fo many thoufand Years ago to
Mofes^ is certain almoil to Evidence; it has undergone,
the Exanien oT Ages, and the Cr/z/f/jw of obftlnate In-
credulity, it has triumph'd over Ignorance, conquer'd Ma-
lice, and {l;!am'd thofe it could not convince ; I do not fee-
how a particular Revelation can be more perfualive than
that which has been put a thoufand times to the Teft %
nor how this can force an Underitanding againft the Biafs
of Intereft, that will not come over to the other : For
ftill you may run to your old Retrenchment, The World'
was pojjible ab ceterno, therefore it was ab aterno; id eft ^
you may take begging the Queftion for Proving, and
Impudence for Reafon.

Theo. What think you, if God (hould take you and
me by the Hair, as you fancy an Angel did Habcikkuk^
and pod us away to the imaginary Spaces above the Em-
pyreum ? If hefhould appear in Majcfty, and regale our
Sight with a Scene of Creation ?

Eufeb. Why, I think you would be amazed, but not
convinc'd ; you mounted an Atheill, and would return
one.

Theo. That's ftrange!

Eufeb. 'Tis fo indeed ; 3'et not more ftrange, than that
after fo rpany Proofs of a Divinity, you remain in Infi-
delity : For if God did appear, he muft borrow fome fen-
fible Shape ; human Eyes are too feeble to gaze upon a
Spirit : The Glory of a Divinity dazzles them ; they
fink under the Splendor of the Omnipotent. Now, he
has appear'd already under the Form of Fire and Smoak
• to a whole Army, not able to bear his Majefty, and this
Appearance is made fo credible, that he who will not be-
lieve fo many thoufand Eyes, mull be a Fool to believe

two :-

The Gentleman Itiftru^ed, 43^

two : Again, how do you know but this World eter-
nally floated (like a fwimming Ifland) in the vail Ocean
of thofe imaginary Spaces ; and by a lucky PufF ot
Chance, or Storm of Atoms, was wafted over to you in
the Nick of Time ? Thefe Cafualties are, I hope, pof-
fible : Bcfides, that unlucky Principle, ex nihilo nihil fit^
might gravel your Underftanding above, as now it does
below, for Situation makes no Alteration in Truth or
Falfliood ; if it be evident here, it will be evident there ;
and if it appear Sophiftry in the new World, why fhould
it pafs for Demonftration in the old ? But if this fhould
chance to work upon you, your Fellow-Atheifts would
be where they are, unlefs God fhould f^U upon new
Creations, and cure their Infidelity by condefcending to
their Pride, and fatisfying their Curiofity : But then you
Vv'ould condemn him to a Drudgery more infupportable
than that of looking after Hies. He muft, it feems.
Work, if not for his Living, at leaft for Adoralion : He
inuft fawn on Atheitls to deferve their Protedion, and
ferve an Apprenticefhip to be acknowledg'd for their
Mafter.

DIALOGUE XXIL

The rnoft pluTiJible Exceptions of Atheijli againjh the
IVurliCs Creation are refuted.

Eufb.T Have done with my Arguments, which muft
-*- be very fatisfaaory, unlels you can invalidate
them by urgent Reafons, and prove by Evidence a priori ^
or at leaft from the very Nature and Conftitution of the
World, that it was impollible to be made: Favour ms
therefore with a flwrt Lift of your Reaibns, range them,
if you pleafe, in Rank and File, draw them up to the
belt Advantage, and make the moft of them ; yet I fancy,
when all is done, you muft eftablKh the World's Eternity
by begging heartily, not by proving it 5 and if I ftay,
till you evince it by Realbn, the World may have an
End, before you prove iiaaard or Neceffity give it »
Beginning.

F f 1 Thio.

436 The Gentleman hJruBed,

T'heo. In the firft place ; we cannot give the World
a Befiinning without forcing Realbn, and impofmg on
our Underftanding. This Dodrine muft be fupported
on the Ruins of firlt Principles, and whofoever abets
it muft abjure thofe great Truths, that Mankind avows
to be the Standard and Meafure of all others. Ex mhilo
nihil fit is the common Voice of Nature; 'tis too clear
to be prov'd ; it (hines on the Underftanding, as the Sun
does on our Eyes; and we can as foon find Night at
Mid-day, as Fallacy in the Axiom ; yet if we admit
Crcaiion, we muft daPn out this Principle, and by the
fr.me Authority cafheer all others, and then, as blind
Men, we fhall walk in the dark, we fhall difcourfe
Vv'ithout Rule, argue without Reafon, and, like the Dog
in the Fable, chop at the Shadow for the Subftance, /'. e.
we Ihall miftake Falftiood for Truth, and Error for De-
monftration.

Secondly^ 'Tis an undoubted Maxim in Philofophy,
that to boulfter up an Opinion, we muft not multiply
things without Neceffity, Non funt muh'tplicanda anted
fine Neccjfitate. Now there is no need to forge an infinite
Being, for the World might be of it felf ab aterno : The
moft fubtle Logician in the World can never make it
appear that the Hypothefis implies a Contradi6lion in
T'ermints^ or even by Inference. To what purpofe do
we entangle our felves in Difficulties ? Why do we frame
an omnipotent, wife, and juft Creator, with a thoufand
other pompous Titles, both unintelligible and frightful?
Have Fears and Apprehenfions fuch ravifhing Charms?
Cannot our Underftandings be pleas'd unlefs they are
aoMpL-is'd ? Nor be fatisfied unlels we hang them on the
Tenters?

Thirdly, A thoufand Parts of the Univerfe feem not
only fuperfluous, but noxious: They are too vile even
to make a Shew, and are only fit to increafe the Num-
ber of Creatures, fo that they reach not the Quality of
Mutes, that ferve, at leaft, for Pomp and Oftentation:
Yet were they barely without Employment, without
Station or Defign, I would let them lie quiet in the State
ofldlenefs; but alas, they were Executioners by Nature,
•as well as OiHcc, and enter into the World to plague it :
For F^xample, if there were a God, can you imagine he
would fo far abafe his Power, or proftitute his Wifdom,

as

the G^tirtlUAta InfiruBeJ. 437.

35 to produce Lice and Fleas ? That he would foii4 his
Fingers with Toadi ; or condemn his Omnipotence to
dig F/ies out of Dunghills? MethinJcs it would iuit bet-
ter with three grand Attributesof a Deity, Power^ Wif-
dom and Goodnefs^ to clear the World of thefe Plagues,
than to ftock it: Plagues I call them, for their very End
is Mifchief; fome torment a Mar, o hers kill him, and
the lead troublefomemoleft him. You know, Sir, what
a Figure Domhian makes in Story, for his unbefeeming
Diverfions; if it be beneath a Mm to flay Vermin, 'tis
certainly below God to make them. Had I an Inclina-
tion to believe the World was made, I would turn Ma-
nichieayi^ and rather admit two firft Principles than one :
Now if thefe Infeds were not created, why /hould I ad-
mit a creating Principle of any thing elfe? Come, Sir,
let us fay rather, all things were of themfelves, than
vote God the Drudgery of making them. They are be-
low the Care of an infinite Majcfty, and the Power of
the Omnipotent. I am perfuaded 'tis lefs irrational to
deny a God, than to aflign him the moft fordid Employ-
ments ; firft, of producing Lice, Fleas and Toads ^ and
then of conferving them. I have many other Excepti-
ons againft your Opinion; but thefe fufiice to difcaid it
even of Probability.

Eufeb. You have propos'd your Difficulties, I will
return an Anfwer. To the Firjl, indeed a Man cannot
perfuade himfelf the World was the Produdl of Necef-
fity or Chance, without atfronting Reafon, and tricking
his underftanding : To ally thofe infinite Perfections of
Eternity and independence with the Vilenefs of creeping
Infedis, is to bring to one Centre, Extreams that can never
meet: 'Tis toraife Vermin above their Level, and pull
down thofe vaft Perfedtions below theirs: 'Tis to inveft
Toads and Fro^s with the Appurtenances of the Divinity,
and tocloath 'em, like the Davj in the Fable, with gaudy
Plumes that belong to another: Kut when we make
God Author of the World, we ftumble upon no Ablur-
dity ; for iho' the World be a ftately Work, yet I con-
ceive it neither furpafles the Power nor the Skill of a
molt powerful and moft wife Artift. Omnipotence has
certainly an excellent Knack at making, and an infinite
Wifdom at contriving. Seeing therefore the Perfeftion of
t'he Work is not above the Abilities of the Archited, we
F f 3 do

43^ I'he Gentleman Injiru^ed,

do not on this Account trAnfgrefs any known Principle
if we afcribe it to him.

Indeed, by admitting Creation, I banifh your ex mhilo
fiihil fit, from the Number of Principles; but 1 do not
at all intrench upon Nature, nor encroach upon the Pre-
rogative of theUnderitandingby out-lawing it : 'Tis guil-
ty of Intrufion, and holds the Jlace by the favour of Ig-
norance : Thofe People who firft principled it, were with-
out Principles thenifelves, they knew not the Extent of
Omnipotence, nor invaded its Privileges. An omnipotent
Power can do any thing that is poflible, ». e. that implies
not a Contradiftion : Shew me, if you can,a Contradiction
that an All-poiuerful Being Jbould make fomethiy!^ without
the Helpofpreviou-f MiUter ; if you cannot, your Principle
is juftly degraded : Nor will other Maxims be involv'd in
itsdiigrace; they'll keep their Poft in fpight of Oppofiti-
on, and receive fubmiflion from Reafon, where-e'er they
meet it: But if you fuffer your A'laxim to be reftrain'd,
and not let it ramble into the other World, I'll embrace it
with open Arms, zsOcellus and Arijiotle did : Yet in this
Cafe it will lignify no more than that all natural Gene-
rations fuppofe a Subjedt ; and in this Senfe I fay of your
Principle, what one faid of Euclid's firft Demonftration ;
They were fo plain, that an Jfs could not mifs them : In a
"Word, ex fjihilo nihil fit. Nature can give Being and
Life to no new Productions, unlcfs {he has a Subject to
work on : In this Point flie has no Prerogative above a
Carver, tho' in the other fhe hr exceeds, for her Works
are more fine and delicate ; flie giv( sLife, the other's Skill
ftops at Figure : But if we look upon God, your Principle
-is out of Doors; he cannot only work on Matter, but
make it: This argues, you'll iay, an Excels of Power ;
'tis true, but yet it does not out ftretch Omnipotence.

To the Second, I anfwer, your Argument faulters in
every Part ; it proves too much, and by confcquence juft
nothing: It ftands for either fide of the Contradiftion,
and therefore fupports neither. Eor as you argue thus,
'TlL'cis pr.'ffiblefor the World to exifi ofit jelj\ therefore we
twuji Kot father it upon any fiuper-.or Agent : So by the fam.e
Logick I may conclude, that either all the Materials,
that compofeL5»^f»,rang'd themfclvesin that fine Order
we fee them, or that Chance and Hazard blunder'd up-
on it, becaufe either way is poflible : Nay, methinks your

Argumenc

^e Gentleman InflruBed. 45^

Argument pleads for any Abfurdity : 'Tis poffible for
Stones to Ipeak, therefore for ought we know they do,
when they are alone, and if they keep Silence in our Com-
pany, 'tis out of the fame Policy Baboons v/ere mule in
America^ (as the Indians told the Spa»iards,) viz. to avoid
their Cruelty. 'Tis poffible for an excellent Watch to
ftart up from a cafual Combination of Atoms ; let us
therefore out-law 'Tompion,zr\A tranfport the whole Com-
pany of Watch-makers into FirgwtaXo plant Tobacco -^
their Art is fuperttuous in E'l^land, as well as their Per-
fons, lince PofJibility has fet up Shop, Watches will pour
in upon us by thoufands, we make take them up as the
Jews did Quails, and when we have made our own Pro-
viiion, pleaiure a Friend with half a Dozen.

Theo. You are in a Vein of Pleafantry, but Arguments
are feldom laught out of Countenance. If Poffibility be a
weak Proof, Mirth is a feeble Solution.

Eufeb. You wrong me. Sir, I am as feriousas the Mat-
ter will bear, and if my Difcourfe has any thing of Mirth,
you are beholden to the Subjeft for the Diverlion. A
Buffoon under a grave Difguife, may be miftaken for a
venerable Alderman, but when he is cas'd, the Alderman
retires to make room for Scaramouch. To treat Foole-
ries with Refpe6f, is to mifplace Ceremony; and not to
lay them open, is but a Degree from abetting them.

Theo. If Contempt can baffle an Argument, the moft
ftrift Demonftrations are not fecure: By your leave, Sir,
you either miftake the Strefs of my Reafon, or fling in a
handful of piquant Railleries to evade it: Pray attend;
from this Antecedent, 'Twas pojfible for the World to be ab
aterno a fe., this Inference follows, therefore it did exijl :
For if the World was poffible ab ceterno^ 'tis a neceflary
and independent Being; but 'tis evident that a neceflary
and independent Being is eternal, therefore if the World
were poffible air aterm^ 'tis manifeft it did exift a fe ab
<eterm ; and therefore, all Recourfe'to a Deity is vain
and fuperfiuous. What Abfurdity can be found in fo
plain a Difcourfe, but that a Man of Wit did not coni-
prehend it ?

Eufeb. Your Arguments with thefe Amendments is ftill
defecflive ; it proves not at all the Queftion, but impu-
dently begs it. For it amounts to this, that the World
was ab A-ternOy therefore it was ab aterm. If you intend
F f 4 . to

440 ^^^ Gentleman Inflru^ed,

to make any thing of your Enthymem^ prove firft the An-
tecedent, and then we will confider what is to be done,
■with the Confequence. Now I have already prov'd the.
World could not poflibly exift<3^ icterno (as you fuppofe),
without any other Proof than a bare AHertion. in the
mean time, methinks this Arguiijcnt proves as forcibly
the Contradidlion of your Thejis ; 'twas not pojfiblefor the
World to exifl oj itj'elf ab jeterno, therefore it did not.
You will put nie without doubt to the Proof of the Ante-
cedent, and with Reafon ; for till that be eftablifh'd, no-
thing can be concluded: But then the fame Talk lies on
your Hands, and till you have evinc'd that "'twas fojjible
for the World to exifl of ttfclf ab ?eterno, your Conclufi-
on muft lie dormant.

To the third I anfwer: To pronounce on Things at
random, either marks a great Pride, or a fuperlative Igno-
rance: You cannot judge which Springs are ufeful in a
Watch, which are fuperfluous, unlefs you comprehend
the Frame of that artificial Fabrick ; and certainly you
would conclude very ill, that I'uch a Wheel was needlefs,
becaufe you did not underlland its Office- The World
is a curious Engine compos'd of ten Millions of fecret
Springs, do you know the Nature of each? If you do
not, pray diiledl them, and expofe the Anatomy to our
Contemplation? If you do, you are unfit to fit on the
Bench; your Sentence is both rafh and erroneous, and
you deferve to ftand at the Bar for having difgrac'd the
Tribunal. You muft remember this Axiom of St. 77:^0-
ynas^ PerfeSal>ofiitas in rebus creatis, non mveniretnr^ nifi
ejfet or do Bonitatis^ "The Perfedion (f Creatures would be
defeSiive^ if there were no Degrees^ no Order of Perfecli-
on : We fhould tarnifh the Luftre, and impair the Beau-
ty of the Univerfe, if we diminifli'd the Multitude, or
temper'dtheDifproportion of fo many Things, that by a
moll admirable Diflention, and a moft concording Dif-
cord confpire to thi Grace and Harmony of the whole;
Had you been call'd to Counfel by the Maker of the
World, you v/ould haveperfuaded him to frame it all of
Gold or Diamonds; as that unskilful Painter, who not
being able to copy out the charming Features of Heller,
hid them together with his Ignorance under an embroi-
dered Manteau, and fo inftead of a fair Woman, drew no-
thing but fliining Drapery. No Creature is fuperfluous,

that.

\

Th Gentleman Inftmfkd. 441

that can proclaim its great Mailer's Glory and Majcily ;
this is a noble Employment, worthy of the Seraphins,
yet not above the Capacity of Flies and Spiders. Vile
Inledts are quickned by the Almighty, and nothing but-
an Omnipotent Hand can frame them: The Power of
your AlexunJcrs and C'vfars was never able to breathe
Life into a Worm : The onepillag'd the Eri/i indeed, and
welter'd in Blood and Slaughter of Innocents ; the other,
like a Temipeft, fwept all the IFefi before him ; yet after
they had butcher'd a JVIillion of Men, they were not able
to give Life to a Caterpillar: Belides, how dare you
term thefe poor Creatures idle, of whom God makes ufe
to confound the Pride of Atheifts, and to read continual
LefTons of Humility to all Men ? Thefe Gentlemen are
incredulous, becaufe they over-rate their Parts: they fup-
pofe, if there were a God, their piercing Wits would
make ftrange Difcoveries; and becaufe the Majefty of a
Deity dazzles their battilh Eye- fight, they rather chufe to
plunge into Fidelity, than to acknov^'ledge their Igno-
rance: To cure this infolent Frenzy, God has flung thefe
puny Creatures in your Way; he bids you examine the
fine Contexture of each Part if you can, the Ufe of every
Mufcle, the Nature of their Souls, and of all thole hidden
Springs that caufe Life and Motion ; and when you
have learnt this /I, B, C, it will be time enough to afcend
to more fublime Contemplation, Now, Sir, neither you,
nor the greateft Philofopher that ever breath'd, can give a
tolerable Account of the moft defpicable Infed: You
knowneitheritsNature, nor half its Properties: You areas
ill inform'd of its Caufes, as of its Effedls; and the va-
rious Syftems of Generation and Corruption are but fo
jnanyDerrionftrations of God's Power, and Man's Weak-
nefs. So that God lays before you thefe Vermin as a Re-
medy againft Pride, and what is more, againll Atheifm:
He blunts thofe Darts you level againft him by interpo-
fing Flies and Lice; he difarms your Infolence, and
ftrikcs out of your Hands thofe Arguments you employ
againft him. I cannot, fay you, comprehend God ; an
infinite Being paffes my Conception ; therefore there is no
fuch Thing : You might as well infer, that all you fee is
nothing but a Scene of Fallacy and Illufion ; that you
and I are meer Fantafms and Spedlres, the Product of
Imagination j for there is not one lingle thing in the

whole

44 2 T-^^ G E N T L E M A N InJfruBed.

whole Mafs of Creation, you comprehend. Your Un-
derftanding falls under the Weight of a Straw, you can-
not tell whether it has Parts or no Parts, before the Di-
vifion ; you know neither the Nature of a Stone, nor the
Properties of a Worm ; you are a Stranger even in your
own Hoiife, though yoii think, fpeak, and move;
Thoughts, Speech a;id Motion puzzle you ; we have Af-
furance indeed there is fuch Things, hut if we pre Is the
Inquiry a little farther, we mull expeft Imall Satisfatfti^
on. What iMan, who finds his Undei (landing pos'd by
fuch ordinary and trivial Inftances, who flags under the
Confideration of al moll nothing, will be fo bold, and at
the fame time fo fooliQi, as to quellion God's Exiflence,
becaule he cannot comprehend it ? Now, though all thofe
things you are pleas'd to call idle, had no other End, but
to gravel the great Pretenders to Omnifcience, to con-
found their Pride, and to heal their unreafonable Incredu-
lity by lndu6lion, they would render very good Service
both to their deluded Fellow- Creatures, and to their Om-
nipotent Creator.

Befides, we have a particular Tendernefs, as well as
Value for our Bodies ; we rack our Thoughts, and even
torment our Confcience to pleafe them ; they muft be
pamper'dat the Expenceof our Souls, tho' they burn for
the Debauch hereafter. To cure this raging Tranfport,
God applies a loathfome, but fovereign Remedy : He
fliews us what our idoliz'd Bodies are by the Infection of
Lice^ li'^orms, ^nd Toads they produce; and oftentimes
this humbling Spedlacle of Mortality frights us more ef-
feftually to our Duty, than the Profpe£l of the torment-
ing Inftruments of Fire and Brimftone, Darknefsand De-
fpair. Did thefe poor Gentlemen, who whine away at a
Female's Feet their Happinefs, Money and Souls too, but
ferioufly conlider, that theObjedl of their Worlhip muft
pnce become Food to thofe vile Creatures you both con-
temn and abhor; that thofe Eyes they admire to Adora-
tion, will o-nce fet in Dull, and be drown'd in Putrefadli-
pn ; that thofe Cheeks, that Frenzy lliles the feat of the
Graces^ will be transform'd, not only into the Throne,
buteven into the Nature o^Toads^lVorms, and Serpents ;
did ihey, I fay, but confider thefe obvious, -but moving
Truths, they wouldremovetheirAffedions to thofe noble
Objeds, and then they would confefs Vermin is more
ufeful than they imagin'd. Again,

ithe Gentleman JnJlruBed. 443

Again, all thefe Creatures have many ufeful Properties
we know, and mor.e we know not: Lice^ Snails and
j^'^orwi are Remedies for IbmeDileaies, and I liave been
acquaintedwith thofe who admir'd a Ragout of Maggots.
If Toads and I'^i per s are poilbnous, they alio afford Antir
dotes againll Poifon; and if fometimes they kill, they as
often fave. A Soup of Fipers is a Medicine both mo-
difliand wholfome; it fweetens the Blood, and infpirits
it. Certainly Things endowed with fuch excellent Qua-
lities, are neither luperfluous nor idle: No, no! I'hey
both benefit the World, and adorn it. Ujhs, fays St. jIh-
Jiifi, Lib. II. de Civ. Cap. 22. it a artifex magnus in
magnis eft., ut minor mom Jit in par vis., qu<e parva nonfua
granditate qucc nulla eft., fed artificis fapientia metienda
e(i^ God is fo great a Workman in great Things, that
he is not lefs in fmallones ; they are not to be meafured by
their Greatnefs, becaufe they have none, but by the
V/ifdom of the Artift.

In fine, to conclude with William Bifhop of Parisy
Nafcitur aranea cum lege., libra ^ lucerna. God has in-
ftruded all Creatures in every Point of their Duty: The
very Spider brings into the World its Rules, Book and
Torch, and knows its Lellbn as foon as 'tis able to learn it.
At the firft Signal of the Omnipotent, they all fall to
Work: The B^e makes- innocent Inrodes upon Flowers,
^^Silk-worm fpins out its own Entrails, and weaves Roy-
al Robes for Princes, the Fifh fport in the Waters, the
Beafts of Service expert the Commands of their Mailers,
and fmall Seeds, tho' dead, give Life to Trees, which
bring Men both Pleafure and Profit. Nothing is idle ;
nothing refractory in the World but Men, who abufe their
Liberty to their Shame, and mifpend the precious Mo-
ments of their Lives to their eternal Ruin.

From the Superfluities of Infedts you ftepover to their
Viienels, and indeed, if the firft Fault were prov'd home,
I would fay guilty to the other. For certainly a thing
too inconfiderable to fill any Office iq the vaft Empire of
the Univerfe, muft be meanly provided with Abilities.
I fuppofe, Sir, your Apprehenfion takes thejuftMeafure
of things, that it never over-flouriflies Objcfts, but agrees
exadlly with the Pattern:. Your Judgment is fquar'd
by the Model in the Apprehenfion, and if this be exa6l,
that cannot well be miitaken. Now I have heard Gold

{hines

444 ^^^ Gentleman Inftru^ed.

fhinesveryglorioufly on your Head, and that you fancy
Diamonds fparkle more in your Cabinet, than in that of
Xhe g'CQ^l Mogul : Thefe things you judge neither below
your Care, nor your Efteem ; and fhould I venture to
call them a bafe Lumber, vile Minerals, or childifh
Trifles, you would fufpedt my Prudence : Yet all the
Diamonds of the Golcund'ian Alines^ all the O^r of Potoji
falls fliort ofthe Perfedion of the vileft Animal Gold
may fhine, but cannot breathe ; Diamonds may glitter,
but cannot move; an Infedl crawls in a more elevated
Sphere ; it lives, and this fole Prerogative is above the
Reach and Capacity of Metal; indeed thefe things are
handfomly varniflied ; and 'tis the Colour alone that
juftifies your Efteem, and makes fome Atonement for
your Dotage. If therefore you have not quite forfaken
Reafon, either efteem Gold or Jewels lefs, or Infefts
more; if thofe are vile, you muft think of a new World
to exprefs the Bafenefs of the other.

I cannot difmifs this Argument, till I have brought the
Epicurean Part of it to examen. 'Tis below the Majefty
of God, you fay, to extend his Care to the Direction
and Confervationof fuch defpicable Creatures; and then
very philofophically you infer he does not ; but becaufe
this does not ferve your Turn, you advance a Step, and
tell us, they may as well come into the World without
his Help, as continue without it.

Your Argument is built on a falfe Hypothefis\ there
is no Creature defpicable in the whole Univerfe but the
proud Atheift, who thinks fo. Hearken to Ariftotle^ who
faw as far into Nature as any of our Libertines, lib. i.
de Partu Antmcil. cap. j". ' Viltorum antmaVtum rationem
propenfionemq\ puerili jaflidto [prev'tffe digmtm nequaquam
e/i, cum nulla Jit res Natur^v, i» qua non mirandum aU-
qitid tnditum haheatur : T'o flight the 0 economy and Per -
fedion ofthe mofl impzrfed Animal is childijh, feeing there
iS nothing in Mature fo minute and iuconfiderable^ that
has not fome Qualities worthy of Admiration. The Vilenefs
of the molt abjedt Worm confifts not in the Perfefton it
poflefles, but in thofe it wants: 'Tis relatively fo; and in
this Scnfe, every limited Being is fuperlatively vile, if
compar'd with the boundlefs Perfedlion of the Creator.
But if we confider them in themfelves, they participate
fome faint Rays of Divine Perfedions ; they are the

Effects

3%e Gentleman InftruBeL 44^

EfFeflsof his Power, and Objects of his Love; for had
their Natures no SimiHtude with the Perfeftions of God,
he could not have produc'd them j and did he not love
them, he would not : Now to make them worthy both
of his Power and Love, and not of his Care, is ridicu-
lous and impious. Indeed did we travefty Go'd into a
Shepherd, as the Poets did /Ipollo ; did we fuppofehe left
his Godhead in Heaven, to feed Flocks on Earth, or
that he took up his Habitation with Pifmires, or lodg'd
in Dunghills with Worms, your Objedtion would appear
reafonable ; but we muft cafi ofF ihefe Anthropomorphite
Principles, To ad on Earth, he needs not abandon Hea-
ven ; nor difpatch Courtiers to intimate his Orders, or
Deputies to execute 'em ; he is as necelfarily in all Places,
as in all Times: He created all Things without Labour,
and conferves them without Solicitude. The Manage-
ment of the World neither takes one grain from his Hap-
pinefs, nor adds one; he is as much at Leifure fi nee its
Creation as before ; and though he be without Emharafs^
he is never idle. Belides, though we cannot dabble in
Pitch without being defil'd, that Aphorifm of the wife
Man concerns not him ; he fhines in Mire, glitters in
Dirt, and like the Sun gilds corrupted Carcafles, without
being tainted or fullied, I therefore conclude your Phi-
lofophy is of the fame Piece with your Divinity, and
both are drawn from the Original of Epicures : They
are too foolifh, methinks, to trepan a wife Man, and too
blafphemous to engage a good Man ; and indeed lam half
perfuaded you laugh at his Syftem in your Heart, tho'
you applaud it in Publick, and would eaiily defert his
Belief, if you could enjoy, without Remorle, the Bene-
fit of condefcending Moralities.

T/}eo. Come, Sir, you have harangu'd enough upon
this Subjeft ; methinks the Chamber begins to fmell of
Vermin, we have been upon an uncleanly Topick: To
difcourfe of IVorms^ Tuads and Maggots looks like tread-
ing Eels out of Mud ; they are unphilofophical Employ-
ments, and we will commit the farther Difcuffion of
the Poet to a Committee of CoU-finden, or a Club of
Rake-k«nneh,

D I A-

44^ ^^^ Gentleman Inftni^ei,

DIALOGUE XXIII.

'The feventh Proof. The palpable Abfurdities which fol-
I'rw from no God, demowjtrate there is one.

Eufeu. T Omit many other Arguments that plead moft
■*- powerfully for a God ; in this Number we
may place Miracles and Prophefies. If ever there were
a Miracle, all the Atheift's fine Hypothefes fall to the
Ground, all the Leaves in-/-/^/»^r Foreft will not be able
to hide the Folly of his Incredulity ; for if ever a dead
Man has been brought back to Life, it mull have been
done by a Power above the Energy of natural Caufes :
To revive a dead Man, is as hard as to infufe Life into
Marble, and I think all the Abilities of Nature can never
reach this Operation. Now that fuch Miracles have been'
wrought in the World, may be made out by as plain Evi-
dence, as the Nature of paft Matters of Fadt require,
/. e. by unq 11 eft ion able Authority, and more can neither
rationally be expefted nor defired.

Again, to foretel Things that depend merely upon the
Exercile of our Free-will, is a manifeft Argument of a
God ; for an Underftanding that can forefee what will
happen, by the fame Ferfpicacity muft l^now what has
happen'd, and a fortiori^ whatever does actually happen,
and by confequence whatever can be known. Now
fuch a vaft Extent of Knowledge can only fuit with a
Being infinitely perfed, at leaft far fuperior to Man t
For as Pindar takes Notice, Ad ftitura cxcutiuntmentes
humanx. Future Events lie out of the Sphere of human
Under jlandtngi : We lee nothing but Obfcurity and Dark-
nefs before us ; we cannot tell what Changes, what Re-
volutions of Defigns may be made in our Breafts before
to Morrow, much Icfs what other Men will fay or do a
hundred Years hence Whence the Latins call foretel-
ling of Things, D'tvinatio^ as if it was the peculiar Pri-
vilege of the Divinity: And the Prophet Ifiiahb'xds the
Gods of the Heathens prove their Title to Worfhip by
Prophecy. Enuactate quce Ventura funt in futmum^ ^
fciemus quia Dii eftis vos.

Now

'7%e Gentleman InflruBed, 447

Now it is clear beyond DiDpute, that Men have fore-
told future Events with all their Circumftances ; which
they could not do" by the Force of human Wit and Indu-
ftry: Therefore, they-rcceiv'd the Faculty from another
who can dive into Futurities, and difcover all the Wind-
ings and MaaMders of the Hearts of Men to come, as
well as of thole who are, and have been. I will cull
out two or three Prophecies of a hundred which may be
found in our Scripture, and defire you to fpend a cool
and impartial Thought upon them. i. Reg. cap. xiii.
whilft "Jeroboam facrific'd on an -Altar to Baal.^ a Prophet
cry'd out, Altare, Ahare., biCC dicit Domiym^^ ecce hiius
nufcctur dcmui David, Jofias Nomine., ^ Immolabit Juper
te Sace'rdotes excelforum., qui niujc im te thinfa fucccKduKt^
^ ojj'a hom'mum in te incendiint. This happen'd exaftly
361 Years after: The Prophet Ifiiah^ c. 41. foretells the
Empire of Cyrus and his Name 200 Years before he was
born. Daniel the Subverfion of the ChaldiCan Monarchy,
the Grandeur of the Mediun, Perjian., GrecuiK and Roman
Empires; nay, he defcends to particular Accidents, fo
that he feems rather to compile a Story of pall, than a
Prophecy of future Tranili.dions ; yet the Event runs e-
ven with his Predidion, 'tis true to a Letter, and ihere-
fore to Admiration. Now this alone wounds Atheiim
mortally, and ftabs its grand Principle, There is no God.
For this Difcourfe is mod certain, Nothing in Nature is
able to forejee things which depend mserly upon the Free-
Will of Mai7.,a'/!dvjill happen fjYiie Ages after : But^tii cer-
tain that Men haue futefecn things that depended on the
tree-Wtll of Man., and did happen fever al Ages afttr they
were for eio Id, therefore, there ts an tntcUigei'it Being above
' Nature. You can only evade the Force of the Argument
by denying the Matter of Fadt ; but when you ftrike
upon an evident Abfurdity, and muft call in all Records,
there is not any Story in the World more authentick,
than that of the Scripture : Now to disbelieve all Hiftory
out of Fear of being impos'd on, is to play tlieFool wiih
Caution, and to ftretch Wearincfs into Stupidity. I
intend not to defcant on thofe two Proofs, nor to draw
them up to their full Advantage ; confront them at leifure,
with Hiftory both facred and proi'ane ; compare the Text
with Events, pufh on the Examen not only to Exadlnefs,
bttt to the Extremity of Critidftii, only jftop v/ithin the

Terms

44S fhe Gentleman* Inftru^ed.

Terms of Reafon, and exped: no greater Evidence than
Things pad will bear: Do not firft pafs Sentence, and
then examine Evidences, firft condemn, and then inquire
into the Merits of the Caufe, and I am confident you
will confefs, Things have been both done and foretold,
that come not within the Reach of Nature ; and therefore
you will be oblig'd to acknowledge there is fomething
that commands Nature, and calls thofe things, that are
not, by their Name, as well as thofe that are.

Theo. I will take into Confideration your Propofals
in due Time; but pray read us the Regifter of Abfur-
dilies: This is your prefent Task, and 1 am impatient
to hear it.

Eufeh. I (hall open my Indidment with an Accufation
able to make a Man's Earb tingle, notwithftanding your
Tenets are guilty of the Impeachment. There is no God,
you fay, no Providence to watch over the Children of
Men, no Goodnefs to reward Virtue, no Juftice to
punifli Vice ; hope of a future Blifs is but a-pleafing Ima-
gination, Fear of Torments but a vain Bugbear invented
by Melancholy, and improv'd by Cuftom ; does not
this accurs'd Dodrineopen the Gate to Pride, Arrogance
and Tyranny ? Does it not let in upon us Perfidioufnefs,
Perjury, and Sacrilege? Does it not in\'ite Mankind to
turn off Shame; to calliier Modefty; to plunge into the
Mire of Lafcivioufnefs; and in fiiort, to break off' all
Commerce, all Correfpondence with Neiglibours. Friends
and Relations ? Now can any thing be imagined more
abiurd, than to father fuch horrid, iuch univerfal Cor-
ruptions on the firit greateft and fupream Truth ? This
all Atheifts do. For as the prime V^erity (if there be a
God) is. There is aGod^ who rules, diieds and govern?
the Univerfe ; fo if tJiere be none, thatrnuft be degraded,
and this fubftituted in its Place, There is ku God who rules,
diredls, and governs the Univerfe ; but this Truth will
extinguifli Fear, and flifle Reverence; it lets loofe the
whole Crowd of Paflions, and expofes the World to Pil-
lage and Rapine ; for Men void of Fear, are void of Re-
ftraint, and fo iet up Appetite for the Standard of all
their Adions.

Secondly^ It will follow, that a Falfhood, an ImpofTibi-
lity, a meer Chimera, is the Caufe of Religion, of Ju-
ftice, Temperance, and Modcfty j that it is the Founda-
tion

^he Gentleman XnJlnSe^, 443^

tzpn of Peace, Concord, and the very Bafis thatfupports
all well-ordered Common wealths; for the Perfuafion of
a Deity, the Fear of his Anger, and Hope of his Mercy
awe Men more than civil Rewards or Punifhments.
Now is it not down-right Madnefs, to think, that a Chi-
mera, a meer Fidion, that has no Being, but in fome
deluded Brain, fhould countenance Virtue and perfuade
it? Should difcountenance Vice, and load it with Shame
and Infamy ; whereas the prime Truth in the Atheifts
Catechifm, There is no God, leads Men into all Abomi-
nations,

Thirdh, It will follow, that Wifdomftifles Virtue, and
Error cheriflies it ; for if there be no God, it's Error and
Folly to treheve there is one, 'tis a Piece of Wifdom to
flandup and proteft againft a Forgery, fo prejudicial to
Truth, Reafon, and Senfuality : It's a Piece of Wifdom
to maintain that Truth, and Wifdom arc Plagues, not
only to particular Men, but even to Societies; that they
drcwn Kingdoms in Deluges of Corruption, and cutoff
the Bands of Unity, that knit the Parts together; that
they muil be clapt under the Hatches, and condemn'd
to Darknefs and Confinement, as Traitors to Humanity,
and Rebels to Government.' But then on the other Side,
it follows, that Error and Ignorance fupport Commerce,
maintain TranquiUity, and enliven Society ; that they are
to be promoted as the Source and Oiigin of all Good^
that they enlighten the Underftanding, polifh the Willj,
and not only render People wife, but good.

Fourthly^ That all thofe Heroes who have been fa-
mous, either for Learning or Piety, were wretchedly ,mi-
ilaken in a thing of the highell Concern ; They felE
down before an airy Statue of God, forg'd in the Brain,
ftruck out of Error, and fliap'd by Vifion, Cuftom and
Education: Whilft Men, unprovided of Wit, deftitute
of Confcience, of profligate Lives, and of worfe Princi-
ples, burthenfome to their Countries, and fcandalous to
their very Species, unravel the Truth, and urimask the
grand Impofture; Before a Man can believe fo potent an
Abfurdity, he mull turn oft" Reaibn, and conclude, that
the worft of Men were the beft -, the moft illiterate, the
moft wife ; and thofe who have ever juftly been elteera'd
Monfters, tJiecn'y Ornaments of our Kind.

G z ^^%»

450 T^he Gentleman Infru^ed,

Ftfthh'^ That to pay tiomage and Obedience to God,
to fear Puniflimcnt, or hope for Reward, are foolifli and
vain Actions, and wholly oppolite to Realbn : For to re-
vere, worihip, and tremble at a Chimera, is both childifli
and ridiculous. It's unrealbnable and impious into the
B.irgain: U therefore God fits on the fame Level with an
ImpoffiSiUty, if he has no other Being, than what a de-
luded Underllanding is pieafcd to give him, he is no
more to be valued, than all thofe impoflible Combinati-
ons that are fpawn'd by Fancy, and cravil in the Ima-
gination.

Sxthly^ That Impiciy, Sacrilege and Blafphemy are
hudable Actions, and agreeable to the moil inviolable
Diftates of Reafon. For if rhere be no God, all the Acti-
ons that fly in his Face, .that attack his imaginary and
ufurp'd Grandeur are good: FirJ}, Becaufe they are pub-
lick Proteftcitions of a Truth, viz. T'hatthereis a God.
And, Setondl'j., Becaufe they arc efficacious Means to dif-
abufe Mankind, and to withdraw it from the erroneous
Perfualions of a Deity and Providence. Pray, Sir, tell me,
are not thefemoildifmal Confequences? Are they not able
to chill the Blood, and tocaft Humanity into Convulfions?
They cannot be thought on without Horror, nor believ'd
without Fury. Had I a Hand in the Government, or any
Power witJv the Commons, I would bring all the Abettors
of thofe lewd Tenets within the Statutes of Treafon. They
tend direftly to the Subverfion of Order and Difcipline.
When Men believe fo loole Principles, their Aftions can-
notbe regular. Nothing but want of Occafions to be Vil-
iaina can plead for their Honelly: Impotence alone is the
guard of their Innocence, and of their Neighbour's Safety,
Thio. You are frnart upon Aiheiils, and methinks in-
tend to hedor them into Religion, rather than convince
them. But, Sir, a little Reafon goes farther than much
Satyr, they are Men of Mettle, and dare look a Rhodo-
montade in ilic Face: They will not be frighted out of
iheir Opinion with Buckram Inveftive.

Eufeb. Did you fee a Rafcal ready to fet Fire to your
Houfe, or a Bravo making at your Breaft with a drawn
Sword, in fuch Exigencies you would lay afide Forma-
lity and Ceremony: And I fuppofe fuch extraordinary
Circumllances would eafily juftify a little Smartnefs.
This is our prefent Cafe. By denying a Deity, you pull

up

^he Gentleman Inftru^ed, 451

tip all Reftraint, you let loofe the whole Kennel of Vices?
and hollow in Pride, Rapine and Cruelty to worry -wsi
you do not only lop off the Branclx^s of Subordination
and Government, but tear thcra up by the Roots, and un-
dermine the very Foundation of Society: We cannot car-
ry on any Commerce, nor live in any Corporation, with^
out trufting fometimes our Neighbour: For it is impoffi-
ble to make all Matters fo fucc, as to leave nothing to
Honefty and Honour. Truft is the Ground, the Balis
and firft Principle of Commerce; without this, we mult
ftand at Defiance with all the World, and place Security
in our Power alone Now if there be no Superior to
awe us, no Principle within us that points out Good ancf
Evil, it's abiurd and loolilh to truft any Man; for there
is no Ground for fuch a Confidence in your Hypothejisy
nothing that can perfuade a Man to facrifice his Interelt
to Truth and Juftice.

For if ther^ be no God, Man is his own Law, and there-
fore can offend no Body but himfelf ; nay, nor can he
offend himfelf; for if he be fupream, whatever he does is
right. Let him contrive Plots againft Church and State j
let him worry the Innocent, or prey upon the Poor, he re-
mains loyal, tho' plung'd in Treafons ; ipotlefs, tho' dipt
in Blood; and without Sin, though loaded with Crimes.
Now fuch Dodrinc muft of neceffity unhinge Society,
and turn Kingdoms into Heaps of Rubbifh, and Piles of
Confufion ; for it withdraws all thofe Props that fuftain
Obedience, and breaks thofe Bands that cement Unity.
A Man muft be made of Ice not to exprefs fome Concern
at the Approach of fo threatning a Danger.

Theo. Of what Danger ?

Eufeb. Of our Lives and Fortunes; for nothing can fe-
cure them but the Impotence of Atheifts. We areout-
law'd by your Principles already, and fhould quickly be
clap'd on the Gallows did your Power correfpond with
your Intentions, at leaft to your Maxims. But your Forces
are diipers'd, they are canton'd in Taverns and Bawdy-
Houfes, and it's hard to draw them into a Body ; fo that
the Government ftands, becaufe you want ftrength to over-
turn it: Weenjoy Liberty, becaufe you cannot enflave us;
and our Eftates, becaufe you dare not invade them.

Theo. Theie are refledling Hints, and rather plead for

Incivility than a God ^ i had rather connive at the Affront

G g 2 than

452 7y^^ Gektleman In fir tidied,

than revenue it, and attribute it rather to Heat than Ad-
v^rltnce.

Eufeb. Under Favour, Sir, tho' your Tenets raife my
Indignation, I think they delcrve it; yet Palfion has not
dimm'd my Underftanding;; I fpeakwiih Reflcdion; and
if my Diicourfe dilpleafe you, thank your Principles for the
Mortification. I fay aguin, if there be no God, Man has
noSaperiof; if he has no Superior, he can be iubjedt
to no I,aw ; he can neither do well nor ill ; for Good
and Evil are relative Denominations, and fuppofe a Law
that prohibits the one, and either commands or couniels
the other; it he can Ao no ill, and is perfuaded of this
impeccable Prerogative, why (hall he not glut his Ambi-
tion with Treafons and Murders; his Avarice with Ra-
pines; and his Incontinence with his Proftitutions?
Thefe Adtions fit Very eafy on Confcience; they fpawn
on Senfe, and charm Nature; n.iy, according to your
gr.md Maxim, .they djferve the Name of Virtues, as well
as Obedience, JiUlice, or Chaltity, and are moreeafily
p adl s'd thanf^rborn: indeed, tho' you be neither under
the Rcllraint of Natural Laws nor Divine, Civil Laws
may fright you fometimes from the Praftice ; for Atheifts
of all Men dote on their Skin, they love not to make a
publick Intrado into the Old BaiJy, nor to be carted in
Ceremony to Hide-Park-Comer. i3ut then what Govern-
ment can be fecure, when Subjeib obey meerly for want
of an Opportunity to rebel? And are only innocent when
Intereft forbids them to be guilty ?

Theo. This is an odious Su^ieft, pray let us ftep over
it; I am afraid you will turn Evidence, if PalTion carries
you a little farther, and I may be put to the Exigence of
folving Difficulties at the Bar. I will now return an An-
fwer to your moft material 0!)je6tion. You fay, if there
be no God, that Juftice, Temperance, Modefly, and O-
bedience flow from a meer Chimera ; that Fidion, Im-
polture and Falfhood fupport Society ; this you llorm at,
and throw it among the firft Clafs of Abfurdities: But
pray refled, that Ignorance and Policy at Rome and A-
thens fet up a Multiplicity of Gods, they carv'd Idols of
all Sizes, and of all Creatures ; they perfuaded the Vul-
gar that their mute Statues punifh'd Vice, and reward-
ed Vinue. This Impofture cheated many into Juftice,
Chaility and Obedience. You cannot deny but Deifts

were

The Gentleman Inflru^ed, 453

were imaginary, that they were as void of Senfe, as of
Realbn, and were lb far from being able either 'to protedt
their Profelytes, orchaftifc their Enemies, that they could
not defend theniftlves. In fine, Sir, they were Nothr/ig^
vet tbefe Nijtk\ngs^i\\Q{tChimeY a s fcar'd People into tb.eir
l)uty, and aw'd them into heroick Flights of Morality.
Vi the Perfualion of a God, (tho' there be no fuch Thing)
works the fame Effedts, where lies the Abfurdity ? if
Falfhood, two thoufand Years ago, gull'd People into
Submiffion, and wheedled them into Virtue, it may play
over again the fame Game in our Age ; we are liable to
Ignorance, as well as the Athenians or Romans, and what
either quicken'd their Hopes, or enliven'd their Fears,
may make ImprefTion upon ours.

Eufeb. I confefs that the Perfuafionof the antient Pa-
gans was erroneous, and falfe in paiticular, but not in
general : l^iey acknowledg'd a Deity who look'd into
Human Affairs, and who would once exaft a ftrid Ac-
count of their moft minute Actions; fo far they were
right ; but then when they applied this Notion of a God
to Stocks or Stones, to wicked IVIen or accurfed Dxinons,
they deviated from Truth : The Principle therefore of
the'fe Men was true, viz. A God: But the Application of
it to 'Jupiter, Man or Fenas w?iS erroneous; for thefe
were Perfons of moft profligate Morals : The firfl, an A-
dulterer, the fecond, a Murtherer, and the third, a moll
impudent Harlot. So that neither the Attributes of a Di-
vinity, nor the Management of the World, nor the Ven-
geance of ill Actions, nor the Reward of good ones be-
long'd to them. Now when A'len abftain'd from Immo-
rality out of Fear of offending God, or pradlis'd Virtue
out of Defire to pleafe him ; tliey were not mov'd by this
Perfuafion, that there was a (Lipream Being, who hated
ill, and lov'd good ; and v/ould punifli that, and reward
this ; which univerfal Perfualion is moft true ; and Vir-
tue that ftands on this Principle, has no Chimera to fup-
port it: Indeed they clap the Divinity on Men, inverted
Devils with its great Prercgatfves, and wo:fhip'd t o.'e
Gods of their own Inftitution ; and fo blunder'd about
the particular Subje6l of Adoration, notwithftanding they
retain'd the Notion of a Deity able to chaftife the wicked,
and fo had a kind of true Foundation of political and
moral -Virtue ; But if there be no God, or if he mews
G g 3 . himfelf

454 *The Gentleman InJiruBe3,

himfelf up in Heaven, without entring into our Concerns,
the very Foundation of all Probity, all Subordination is
falfe and fiditious, and by confequence, all Truft, Com-
merce, Piety and Society are fultain'd by Impofture and
Forgery, which is an Opinion fo unkind to our very Na-
ture, and fo irrational, that no Man can abett it without
Folly and Madnefs.

A Gentleman of the Company interrupted Eufebius.
Sir, foid he, I confefsyour Arguments have Force; they
are rational, and a Man muft be very hard to pleafe that
will not relifh them. But unlefs our Souls are immortal,
what Reafon have Men either to love his Goodnefs, or
to fear his Severity ? His Blefling muft flop with our
Breath, and his Curfes cannot overtake us in Eternity:
For if Death robs us of Life and Being, all our Hopes
and Fears are at a iland: They difappear with our laft
Sigh, and vaniOi into nothing. So that the Do6trine of
a God is notfufficient alone to reform Mankind, and all
Religion may be regarded as ufelefs, or flung among the
Ceremonies Divines term Diaphora ; for if my Soul be
mortal, future Rewards are impofTible, as well as Tor-
ments: Why then fhould I court Virtue at the Expence
of prefent Satisfadion? Orwithftand Appetite with the
Forfeiture of Pleafurc ? Why fhould I bridle Luft, or
prefcribe Bounds to my Ambition, if neither Conti-
nence be regarded, nor Pride humbled ? For my part I
own ingenuoufly, I fhall make the beft ufe of Time, till
I am fure there is an Eternity. I fliall trim up my Houfe
of Clay> and lay out my Stock on Reparations : My Paf-
fions fhall live at Difcretion, and range without Con-
troul.

If my Arguments convince you that there is a God,
replied Enfebius, you cannot quertion the Immortality
of the Soul. God and the immortality of the Soul
are Correlatives, and whatever Proof makes for the one,
eftabliflics the other: For as I hinted above, if there
be a God, he is juft, and therefore crowns Virtue, and'S
revenges Vice: Now it is evident that the Jull often-
times in this Life receive no Reward, and the Impi-
ous no Puniftment ; therefore they mud receive it in the
rext; therefore our Souls muft not die viiih our Bodies;
therefore they are immortal. Again, if our Souls are
immortal, there is a God. For fuppofing this noble Pre-
rogative,

The Gentleman Injirufied. 455

rogative, which way did the Soul come by it, but b}^ the
Goodnelsand Power of an infinite Agent? It (an neiiher
be the Eftcft of Matter nor Motion ; thefe Things ara
below the Lerel of a Spirit, they have neither Life nor
Knowledge ; how can they infufe into anoihcr thofePer-
fedlions that are Strangers to them felves? Did cur Souls
Ileal a Being from all Eternity ? Where were they before
they enter'd our Bodies? Who order'd my Soul to take
PoUefTion of my Body rather than of another? Or where
did it hover before it found the Settlement ? I fuppofe
'Pythagorai's M'^tempfycojis is groAvn out of Faftiion in Eu-
rope^ we fend Souls no more on Expediiions of Knight-
Errantry ; they fcorn to take up with Swine, or to lodge
with Camels and Elephants. If therefore they are im-
moi'tal Spirits, you cannot avoid a Creator; neither
Hazard, Alotion, or Matter can give us a good Account
of their Origin.

Eufebius defired another Meeting the next Day, to put
an end to the Conference. One Seffion, faid he, addref-
finghimfelf to the Company, will compleat the Work,
and I defire your Prefence ; I will only draw up in fhort
the Sum of our Difpute, that you may at one View fee
the Strengthof my Proofs, and the Weaknefsof my Ad-
verfaries: And then, "Theomachus^ if (in fpite of Light)
you refolve to remain in Darknefs, (after 1 have detected
your Errors) I'll pity your Obftinacy. The Company
accepted of the Appointment, and fo broke up. But 'I'heo-
machus, after mature Deliberation, thought beft to wave
the Interview; he had been too often foil'd to venture
another Pufh: Befides, he perceiv'd that fome of the
Gentlemen began to waver : The Reafons of Eufebius
had done Execution ; altho* indeed none had declar'd
for Religion, many approv'd it; fo that he fear'd ano-'
ther Coni'erence, with a fhort Exhortation might de-
tach fome, and weaken his Party. And if the Succcfs
of the Controvcrfy fhould be put to Vote, he forefaw
nothing but Shame for hirnfelf, and Vidory for his An-
tagonift: But the Matter being not determined (faid he
to one of his Intimates) like thofe who have a Suit de-
pending, M'e may both pretend Right, and fo we fhall
part Stakes. But to withdraw handfomly, he fent £»-
febius this Letter.

G g 4 SIR,

45<^ The Gentleman InfnSect,

SIR,

/Am forry Necejfity bus forced me to difappowt you to Mor-
row', a'fi unforefeen Affair requires my /Ihfence from
jTowk ; V/j i>oth impurta'/it and prejfitig^ fu that I cannot re-
tar(i my Departure one Day without great Prejudice to my
Concerns^ and Danger to a Relation. I therefore dijengage
my l^ord, andprefume you will excufe and pardon my Inci-
vility : U^hen I have rid my Hands of this troublefome
Accident,

You may command, SIR,

Yours.

Eufehfus read the true Defign of Theomachus under his
falfe Pretence; and eafily perceiv'd he retir'd to avoid
both Convidlion and Confulion, and indeed it's hard to
determine which he dreaded molt. For he was jealous
of his Honour to Phrenzy, and obftinate in Infidelity to
Madnefs. Notwithftanding£»/^^/^<j next Morning met
the other Gentlemen at the Rendezvous, who were con-
cern'd at the fudden Retreat of their Hero, yet fome ex-
cus'd,tho* others blam'd him. E^z/f^/a/ addrefling him-
felf to the Company, fpoke to this Purpofe.

The Comlujion of the Conference.

Gentlemen,

W£ meet to Day tofinifh theDifpute; and I thought
the Controverfy alio, but the unexpeded Retreat,
(I would fay Flight) of 'Theomachus has baffled my Hopes.
Had he not fufpeded the Juftice of his Caufe, why did
he fo fliamefully defert it? I had no Defign on his Ho-
nour, but on his Impiety. I fhould have difclaim'd the
Glory of Conquefl, had he but acknowledged his Defeat,
and abjur'd an Error, that \A'ill at lafl ruin him, and thofe
who inconliderately abett it. Nay, an humble Confcfli-
on of the Truth had fecur'd his Reputation from Oblo-
quy; the Blemifli had fallen on the Caufe, not on his
Wit ; but the Glory of SubmiHion to the Truth had been
wholly imputed to his Candour and the Sincerity of his
Teniper. People had throwii the Reproach of Atheifm,

rather

^e Gentleman InJlruBfd, 45^

rather on the Milinformation of his Underftanding, than
on the Perverlenefs of his Will, fo that he could only
fear to be efteem'd more unfortunate than criminal : But
this ungenteel Flight lays him open to the iieverity of
Cenfure, and all underltanding Alen muft neceflarily
conclude, he wanted Abilities todefend a bad Caufc, and
Confcience to difown it. But I'll leave him tohimfclf,
and where can he be more unealy, than in his own Com-
pany ? Though he be without a God, he is not without
Fear, and who can fleep feture that harbours llich a Fury ?
Atheifts (like the China JManJarini) are waited on by
Hangmen that punifh their own Delirquencies : 'i'hey
can never avoid the Arreft and Execution of their Con-
fciences ; tho' they make a Sport of God, and a Diveriion
of Crimes in publick, they are more ferious in private;
which is a fhrewd Sign their Atheil'm is imaginary, tho'
their Impiety be real. A God^ or no God^ Gentlemen, is
an important Queftion ; andthofewho incline to theA^^-
gative, would do well toexamineit Vv'ith Care, with Study,
with Coolnefs and Impartiality, before they come to a
iihal Refolution. When the AtheniaKs heard of the Death
of their mortal Enemy Philip the Macedonian, they were
prefently for manifeftingtheir Joy by fome publick Scene
of Jollitry : Rut a Fellow among the Crowd bid \m firji
be fure he was dead, left one day thev might find him
alive by the Severity of his Revenge. I'he A theift of all
Men (hould follow this wholfom, this prudent Advice ;
and nothing but a ftridl Demonftration can fecure him :
For all the plaulible Sophifms in the World will never
refcue him from Danger ; nor by Confequencehis Electi-
on from Folly: for fo long as he is not demonftratively
fecure there is no Deity, for any thing he knows there
is one ; and if there be, he will certainly feel the Exi-
gence of that dreadful Majefty hedeny'd, by the Rigour
of his Juftice: It's therefore, our Intereft to believe there
is a God, and to fquare our Aftions by this Belief; for
we can be no Lofers by Credulity ; but may be undone
eternally by Infidelity: Indeed the Atheift is fenfible
enough his Cafe is defperate, if there be a God, and if
one may believe him, wifhes nothing more, than that it
were in his Power to credit his Being : But, fays he, this
is the proper Work of Demonftration : Evidence alone
fettles the Judgment, of which I am wholly unfurnifli'd :

But

4i8 7he Gentleman Injiru^ed,

But this is a Blindnefs rather than an Excufe: A petty
Artifice to excite CompafTion, or to hide FolJy and Mad-
nefs under tlie Drefs of Sincerity. If they expe6t Ma-
thematical Evidence, they will die Atheifts, for fuch
Convidlion is impoffible ; and they that will only fubmit
to Proofs of which the Matter is uncapable, fhould ra-
ther purge than difpute; He is fitter for Phyfick than
Reafon, and 1 would counfel him to (have and air his
Brain.

Now let me defire you, Gentlemen, by all that is dear,
to take this Matter into Confideration, it deJerves Time,
Thought and Rclleftion. The QueJlion is, Whether
there be a God who eternally rewards Virtue, and eter-
nally punifhes Vice ? What can be more important, than
to be well inform'd on which Side of the Contradiftion
Truth lies ? If in the next World there be no high Court
of Juftice, no Judge, no Account taken either of Good
or Evil ; why fhould Men force Appetite, ftorm Incli-
nation, or**bridle Defire ? Why fhould they forego the
Enjoyments of this Life, and fell a prefent Satisfaftion
for a vain Expectation of a future Felicity?

But then, if there be a God, Atheifts are in ill Circuft-
ftancesi they muft take Leave of Life and Pleafure toge-
ther, and give a fad Farewel'to Delights. Their laft
Breath extinguifhes Joy, and kindles a Flame not to
confume, but to torment them eternally. Their Mu-
fick will End in Tears, their Pleafure in Repentance, and
their Repentance in Defpair. It's a doleful Cataftro-
phe to be dragg'd from a Palace into a Dungeon, and
from the Embraces of a Dal'tlah into thofe of everlafting
Flames. What Man in his Senfes would take the moft
glittering, and moft gaudy Happinefs in the World, to-
gether with fuch a dreadful Re\'erfion of Torments ? Yet
if there be Scientia in Excelfs^ Knowledge and Juftice
above, (that is a God) the Infidel Atheift will burn be-
low, and feel the juft Revenge of that powerful Majefty
he fo obftinately denied.

Now, Gentlemen, the Matter ftanding thus, withdraw
from Hurry and Paflion, take off" all Affedlion from the
prefent ; divorce wholly from this World, till you are
fure there is no fuch thing as another. Argue with
your felvcs thus: I believe / ^w hivftilly begotten, I he-
Ikve I amhapiz'dy and never doubted of either: Yet I

have

T'be Gentleman InJfruBed. 45^

have the bare Teftimony of my Mother for the Truth
of the firft, and perchance the fole Authority of a Parfon,
or a Midwife for the Bchef of the fecond. But all Nati-
ons tell me there is a God as well as Ages : Why there-
fore fhall the Word of one Woman, or of one Man, not
only fway, but fix 'and fettle my Juds^ment in thofe
Cafes, and not the joint Teftimony of all Men in this ?
I cannot contemplate the petty Springs of a Watch, or
the rude Contrivance of a Cabbin, but prefently the
Sight leads me naturally to an Artificer. I cannot pof-
libly afcribe the Frame of either to blind Chance, or fatal
Neceffity ; and though I fool my Underftanding, and en-
clave my Reafon in a thoufand Occafions, in this I can-
not. They difobey the moft prcffing Commands of the
Will, they pronounce boldly in fpite of Practice and In-
clination, that fomeHand put the Wheels together, and
rais'd the Cottage.

The moft ill-Ihap'd Animal in the World, the moft def-
picable Leaf are more finely contriv'd than all the Ma-
chines that ever Art invented. If therefore the petty
F?4brick of a Watch, the unpolifli'd Frame of a poor
Cottage convince me they were made by the Hand of an
Artificer, muft I not confefs this Majeftick Pile of the
World, fo vaft, fo various, fo ftupendious, was firft con-
triv'd by the Wlfdom, and then created by the Power of a
moft perfedl Agent ? If a lefs Motive fways my Judg-
ment, a greater may ; and if my Aflent be both firm and
prudent in one Cafe, certainly it cannot be unftable and
imprudent in the other. A Child may make thefe Re-
flexions; they are eafy, obvious, and convincing: Rea-
fon therefore and Intereft plead ftrongly againft Atheifm,
and you cannot abett it without betraying both.

Proftrate (I befeech you) your felves with bended
Knees and bleeding Hearts before the Throne of that
dread Majefty you have fo often provok'd by your Im-
morality, and ab|^r'd by your Infidelity. Obftinacy
enflames his Juftice, but Tears extinguifh it. It's in
your Power either to try the Weight of his Anger, or
the Sweetnefs of his Mercy : But if Atheifm waits on
you to his Tribunal, you muftexpecl nothing but Dam-
nation. God's Greatnels will fright you, his Power will
difarm you, and his Juftice eternally torment you. In
fpite of Bravado's, Conciencfe will not o'nly ad the Part

of

4<5o ^he Gentleman InfruBed.

of an Accufer, but of an Executioner alfo. Ii will re-
venge with Intereft thofe Rapes and Violences you have
committed againft it here', and turn thole kmd Admoni-
tions you receiv'd v.'iih Raillery into io many Inllruments
of I'uuifliment.

Gentlemen, dare you put thefe things to a venture?
Will you live in I-nridelity as unconcernedly as if all the
Terrors of another World were only frightful Dreams of
Men awake; or meer Productions of a feverifli and dif-
compos'd Brain? Certainly I have made the Exiftence of
a God too clear to be thought Fancy or Vifion. And
then I expe6t Prudence will not permit you to think it
a Matter not to be regarded, whether you are eternally
happy or miferable.

At lead if you are refolv'd to play in this Life, and to
weep in the other, decoy not unwary Gentlemen into fo
mad a Refolution: Their Pains will not eafe yours. If
you plot againft their Purfe, have no Defign upon their
Religion. Scoff theni not out of their Cr^W, iho' you
wheedle them out of their Eftates; when you have fwept
away their prefent Stock, force them not to niake over
their Title to Heaven. You can gain nothing by their
Lofs -, for the fame time you rally them out of Heaven,
you jeftyour felves into ilell.

Belides, were the Exiftence of a God, the Truth of
Religion doubtful, yet they fliould be thought on with
Serioufnefs, and fpoken of with Reverence ; for People
put a great Strefson both. They look upon the Belief
of a Deity, and the Pratlice of Religion here as necefla-
ry for their Happinefs hereafter. They acknowledge it
is not only their Duty, but alfo tneir Intereft to believe
a God, and to worfliip him. Mcthinks therefore it's a
Breach of Civility, and a failure in fUeeding; it's an
Affront to Chriftians as well as to their Maker to turn
the C3bjedl: of their Adoration into Sport and Diverfion,
and their Expedation into Romance: So that you can-
not be prophane without being Clowns. Pray therefore
(at leaft for your Reputation's fikc) employ your Wits
and Tongues on a more credible Subjedl. Certainly
Wit is not grown lb facrilegious, as not to be pleas'd
without polluting holy Things. A Man may be civil
without Blafphemy, and lay in a very f:ar Pretenfion to
Ingenuity, without being guilty of Profanenefs.

To

fhe Gentleman Infrufhd. ^6i

To draw towards an End ; if you intend to fenrch
Truth with Serenity and Candour, take leave of Di cile-
ry, preach not down God, Religion and Sobriety, but
treat with Refpedl thofe things Mankind reveres, for Men
leldom honour what they ridicule; much lefs M'ill they
proltrate thernfelvvs to what they burlefque. Shake off
therefore this buffooning Humour, and v, hen the Tongue
is brought under Dilcipline, the Heart will throw off
all the Lets of Prejudice and Pailion j and then the Un-
derftanding difengr'g'<d from Violence, will eafily fub-
mit to the Force of thofe Reafons I have laid before
you.

But if you run on in a lewd Vein of Drollery and Im-
piety, the moft perfuafive Arguments in the World wdl
never work upon you; you'll certainly fport your felves
into Damnation, and link down laughing into Hell.
But then thole Flames that confume Mirth, will awake
Defpair. You'll begin to be both ferious and wife,
when 'twill be too late to be fo. Oh, how foolifli,
how imprudent is it to deny a Deity in this World, and
to believe one in the other! To live Atheills in London^
and Theifts in Hell !

The End of the fecond Part,

THE

Gentleman In/imSted,

In the Way of

Converfation, Entertainment of Friends,
Management of his Eftate, Company-
Keeping, Travelling, &c.

WIT H

REFLECTIONS

ON SOME

Modern Pradtitioners of Law.

A S A L S O

An E S S A Y

U P O N T K E

Immortality of the Soul.

^ Part III. ^

LONDON:
Printed in the Year 1752,

THE

PUBLISHER

T O T H E

Young NociLiLY and Gentlemen
o F

ENGLAND.

Gentlemen,

rn E former Two Parts of the Gentleman In-
ftrudled, have been fo kindly received by the No-
bility^ that L prefume to recommend the Third
alfo^ to the Favour of their Proteftion. Books
make their Fortune^ as well as younger Broth^rs^
i>y the Credit of great Patrons ; they are unable to break
through the Oppoficron of Criticifm, Without the fupport
of Author tty, and fo are fuppofed guilty^ becaufe no Body
ivill fland up in their Defence \ jor at prefent, Prejudice
and Cenfure run high^ and^ what is -worfe, out of their
proper Channel. Good Books generally meet With Re^
f roach., and bad as often with Approbation. IVe fquare
cur 'Judgments by our Condu^^, fo that it^s odds thofe
JMen who declare for Vice will never reltjh a LeHure of
Morality. I\[o, no., when a Book condemns our Behavf
our., we take the Freedom, by way of Reprizals, to con-
demn it -^ as if it were lawful^ with Mr . Hobhs, to COn-
troul Reafon, when Reafon takes the Liberty to controul
us.

/ therefore expeSl that hiber tines and Debauchees will
take Check at the Freedom ofthefe Papers.^ as well as at
the Subje£l ; and that poffibly they may difcharge a Volly
<jf Reproachi.s upon the Author ; for in a hurry., Pajfton
rnijiakes a Friend for a Foe, and falls as foul on thofe who
H h come

44^

The Publisher to

come to our Refcue^ as on thofe Vjho intend our Ruin ; hut
the beft on it is^the Force vftkeir Weapons anfwcrs not the
flrength of their Malice \ for alas, a Jeji makes a vjeak
Thrujl, and a Sarcafm a weaker j and fober Men feld'jm
condemn a Book^ becatife Libertines burlefque it^ for ths
Opinion of fuch Judges is always fufpeded of Partiality^
randfo neither be a Credit to a Caufe, nor a great Misfot'
tune.

- ^ M'^ho commijfions this, Eufebi.us, faid a Sparky to tutor
all Mayjktnd'i To la/h our Failures ? To expofe our Perfons
to Reproach and Infamy'^ Muji he pendant it over his Bet-
ters, and revile Quality at Difcretion'i Has he not firipfi
^s of our Robes, and Jb own us in Dijhabile to the Rah"
hie ? Firfl to render us cheap and defpicable^ and then to
entertain the Publick at our Expences ? Though we are
iewd, why mufi we appear little ? Though we forfeit our
Innocence, we have right to Refpe^ ; the Gentleman
wants Breeding, and his Perfon JJoould be brought to Pe~
fiance as well as his Pen.

IVhy, good Sir, all this Heat, faid I, I counfel you to
Jiifie your Refentment, unlefs you can difarm this pretend^
ed Adverfary, confute his Evidence, or deny the Charge ;
for after all, tho'' People abandon Virtue, few have the
Impudence to burlefque it ; its Inter eft is not quite funk ;
Confcience and Shame have not lofl all Footing ; and tho'
it be not uncreditable to commit an ill Adion, it^s infa-
wious, at leajl, to defend it. If the Gentleman's Charity
challenges not Thanks, I am fur e it deferves not reviling j
it Jhould firike out fume Sparks of Repentance, and not
kindle blames of Anger : He tells 'vou,youpoJi on to Dam-
nation, and dejlres y ou to flop : Is it fuch an Incivility
to inter poje ? Did we fee a blind Man upon the Brink of
a Precipice^ Jhould we not admonijh him of the Danger ^^
andfpeed to his AJfiftance ?

Toung Gentlemen, hoodwinkt by Pajfion, andfafcinated
hy the bewitching Blandifhrnents of fenfual Pleafures , take
jtot only the mofi eafy, but the jjjortefi Road to endlefs Tor-
ments ; he cries out llop, and you que/iion his Commijfion,
and formalize upon the Legality of his Proceeding; your
Danger, dear Sir, on the one Side, and Charity on the
other, are his Warrant ; nay, and the Principles of that
Religion you proJiitHte to Lewdnefs^ are his jujiification
end PrQtedion,

Indetd

the Young Nobilitv, Bfc,

Indeed he has drawn fome difproportioned Chamber s^
hut the Fault lies not in the Painter^ but in the Original \
the Gentleman had no Intention to proz'oke any Matt''s
Refentment^ or to expofe his Perfon ; he hath bleKided a
thoufaiid different Faces together^ fo that this Confufioti
of Features and Complexions will conceal the Originals.
In port ^ Sir, I couivfel you rather to mend than to jlorm'i
if you will nut apply the Remedy^ thank at leaji the Gen^
tleman that prefents it.

But however J the Spark would come to no 'Terms of/lc-
commodation with Eufebius, he would pofl him up for a
Pedantf and pronounce him a prefummg Coxcomb in all
Places^ and all Company : 'Thus this poor Man overlook''d
nothing in Ill-nature, or worfe Manners, and jirain d his
Kefentmenti to all the Heights of Folly and Madnefs ; htif
he fancied in Eufebius'j Character he faw his oivn ; and
fo to clear his Complexion^ and brighten his Features, he
would break the Glafs, as if the Deformity lay in the Me-
dium, and not in his Face,

Thus fome People attack GcdUnefs under every Form,
they give Virtue no Quarter, and Vice no Difturbance ;
they have bani/h'd Goodncfs from Pr^Sice, and wtll not
fuffer It to appear even upon Paper : Mo, no, Conjcience
muft have no Retreat, and God no IVorfJjip. Certainly in
thefe Mens Opinions, Hell is a Place of Diverjion, and
Heaven of Torments.

hut. Gentlemen, I hope the fober Part of you will re-
ceive this Prefent with more Civility, and If you cannot
refolve to imitate the Pattern^ I am confident you will
at leafi commend it. I have mingled his Ailions with his
Precfpts, and fo have at the fame time thrown before you
a Scheme (f his Practice, and an Effay of his Ducttments ;
you will at one View fee what he did, and read what hd
taught ; and then we mufi conclude. Gentlemen are far
gone in IVickednefs^ if both Reafon and Example are
finable to recover them.

The way to Virtue by Precept, fays Seneca, // long, by
C.X ample jh or t ; this affects more fir ongly than Speculati-
on -y it enlivens our Spirits, and prepares them for ASiion\
the ProfpeSl of hazardous Enterprises oftentimes damps
Courage, and difpirits Bravery it felf; but when we fee
Men undertake it with Valour, and come off with Succefs^
We envy the Hero, and applaud the Adiun ; we then con-
Hh 7. dude

4^8 The Publisher, &Ci'

elude thai things arefenfible that feem imp ojfible^ and that
oftent'tmes the ijery Difficulty lies more in the Fancy than
in the Attempt.

FU'jh and Blood paint Virtue in a frightful Drefs, and
the Duties of a Chrijiian in the Garb of a tury ; they feem
Mopjiers to the Nobtlity^ more fit to be gazed on than
pradifed^ and rather fcare than invite. Eufebius /^^j <^//^
covered the Impoflure^ and unmask'd the Artifice ; he has
convinced the ti^orld by Practice, that Virtue has nothing
hideous but a falfe Vizor ^ and that the Duties of a Chri-
jiian. are no Nufance \ that our Makernever intended to
bind us up to dtfadvantage^ nor to turn our Duty into
our Misfortune. "The Office of a Chrijiian in this great
Man interfered not with that of a Gentleman \ his Beha-
viour was handfome^ and his Carriage religious ; he kept
up a continual Correfpondence with God, zuithout break-
ing off all Commerce with Men. In a Word., he lived
both a Gentleman and a Saint ; loved by mejl, and ad-
mired by alL

THE

[ 4'^9 1

THE

Gentleman Inftru^ed, &c.

Part III.

DIALOGUE I,
TouKg Gentlemen are d'tjfuaded from a 'Town Life.

TH O' the Difpute was over, the Controverfy
went on. Theomachus was indeed too weak
to keep his Ground, but too Itubborn to ask
Qiiarter. He durft not boaft of Vidory, and would
not acknowledge his Defeat ; fo that in conclufion he
was wiUing to draw Stakes, and confefs'd that both
maintain'd their Poll with equal Refolution. In fine,
(faid he with a Smile) Eufebius and I fought here, as
our Allies and French at Luzara : Both are Conquerors,
and both overcome. I give him leave to clap his Wings,
if he'll permit me to crow.

Neander was prefent at the Difpute, and by good For-
tune in the Company, when Tioeomachus bolted out this
Rhodomontade. His Confidence was extraordinary, and
his Air unulually pretending. Paffion flufh'd in Neander\
Face, and almoll broke out at his Tongue. He had no
mind to renew the Combat ; for he knew Atheifli ever
return Smiles for Reafon, and keep their Ground rather
by dint of Forehead than Argument. However, not to
t'efFer him to be pleafant without Check j I perceive, faid

4^0 ^he Gentleman Injlru^ed.

he, you have run in a Circle, taken many Steps, but rid
no Ground ; you are jull where you were in fetting out ;
becaufe, for onght you know^ there may be a God^ an4
then you a Madman by Demonftration.

I have told you, reply'd T'heomachus^ God is an airy
Being, the Child of Fancy, and Spawn of Imagination,
a Bugbear to awe Fools, and fright Children ; and if Eu~
febius has hedored much on this Subjeft, he has proved
little. For, Sir, I diftinguifli between Flourifli and Ar-
gument ; between ftarcht Cant, and fol-d Reafon.

It may be fo, anfwer'd Nea:-ider^ but if his ±ieafon
for a God comes not up to Evidence, yours for no God
(by your own Gonfeffion) falls fhort of Demonftration,
For in a Word, Sir, Ws a drawn Battle. It's therefore
no lefs probable there is a God. than that there is none;
and by confequence you mult commence Fool, to remain
an Atheifl.

'Theomachtis was pincht for an Anfwer, and therefore
he retreated to the lall Retrenchment of baffled Libertines^
Raillery and Satyr. For you mull know thefe Gentle-
men bite when they cannot fpeak to the purpofe, and
laugh down thofe Arguments they cannot reafon out of
Countenance.

YourLogick, young Man, faidhc,isas callow as your
Ghin, and your Underftanding as foft as your Beard.
Leave Philofophy to thum the Grammar^ rub over Pro-
pria qua Maribus, before you venture on Divinity ; your
Intellect is pen-feathered, too weak-wing'd to ibar fo
high : A Dog or a Racer are more proper Entertainment
for your Age, than God. And I preiunie you are more
able to judge of Wine, than of Theological Niceties.

Nay, faid Meander, if Age be the Standard of Senfe,
and Arguments are meafured not by Mood and Figure,
but Beards then certainly all the Advantage lies on your
lide; but under Favour, Sir, Beards and Reafon go not
always together. Age is not the Meafure of Truth and
jfalfbiood. Threefcore may be in the wrong, and Twen-
ty in the right : Fling therefore Years out of the Qiiefti-
'QXi^ and come up clofe to the Point. But Tbeomachus
thought fit to drop the Controverfy, and withdrew, while
the Way lay open for a Retreat. The Difficulty pincht,
and he had no colourable Anfwer in refervc. And there-
fore being in no condition to withftand his Adverlary, he

took

^he Gentleman Inftru^ed, 47 1

took the Liberty to contemn him. And indeed, this petty
Policy is a wonderful Relief to a finking Courage. It
ja)'sa Varnifh of Generofity on Cowardice;, and gives
Fear the Colour of Good-nature.

7'heomachus was no more iox dravjn Batiles, he faw, that
by drawing Stakes, he fliould lofe the Sett. And therefore
(to cry up his Party, and his expiring Credit) he pro-
.claim'd himfelf Conqueror, and his Adverfary defeated.
Enfebius^ faid he, is flipt into the Country to air his
Brains, and to throw off the Chagrine that always dif-
•compores routed Generals. He dares not keep the Field,
but cantons his fcatter'd Forces in Villages.

Etifebius indeed had bid adieu to the Town, with a
Refolution never to return. He was fick of Company,
and more of thofe Follies he could neither endure, nor
corred. He could not without Indignation behold Chri-^
ftians lead the Lives of Pagans, and prophane the beft Re-
ligion with the fouleft Crimes. JVhat Pleafure, faid he,
cafi a Chrijiian take in a place where Vice rides in 'Triumph^
andVirtue groans in a Dungeon; where Goodnefs lies un-
der Contempt^ and Irregularity receives Afplaufe ; where
the bejl Adions are lampoon'd^ and the worft de'fied"^.

Neander rid over to his Houfe, five Miles only diftant
from the Town. Heinform'd him ofTheomachui'sCom^
portment fincehis Retreat; with what an Air of Confi-
dence he proclaim'd his Vi6lory: That the Cabal began
to hold up their Heads and crow: Thzt Atheifm h^id al-
moft recovered of its Wound, and began to walk Abroad:
That his Prefence might ftop the Evil his Abfence would
give Opportunity to fpread: That Theomachus would
withdraw at his Arrival, and carry his Poifon and Impu-
dence into the Country.

Alas ! reply'd Eufebms^ Dear Neander^ you are unac-
quainted v/ith the Temper of Atheijls. It's eafy to con-
found 'em, but almoll impoflible to convert 'em ; their
Difeafe lies in the Heart, not in the Head. Their Mif-
fortune takes its Rife from Obflinacy, not Ignorance.
And how can you reafon a Man out of Infidelity, who
refolyes to remain in it, againft Reafon? Libertinifm,
Neander^ is a bewitching Thing, when it gets the Afcen-
dant; 'twill improve Ignorance for an Excufe of Free-
dom ; cad Confcience into a Lethargy, and bribe the
Vnderftanding againft our own Intereft. In a Word^

H h 4 it's

4^ a 'The Gentleman Infiru0ed.

it's a Sin feldom forgiven in this World, and never in the
other.

Atheifm, replied Neander^ is not the oniy Vice of the
Town, other Sins feem free of the City, and Men en-
deavour to dilate the Malignity, and to keep the Difor-
der in countenance. If People have the face to preach
up Ungodlinefs iri Difcourfe, and Fradice plant both a-
gainfl it^ good Counfel, back'd by Example, may do as
much Execution upon Vice, as bad upon Virtue. In the
next World, indeed, Men's Wills are either fixt in Good
or Evil, but in this they may pafs from one Extream to
the other. Beiides, all are not fo charm'd vv'ith Sin, as to
perfuade themfelves it deferves no Punifhment, nor fo
put of Conceit of Virtue as to difcard it of all Reward :
Their Misfortune fprings rather from Weaknefs than Ma-
lice; from youthful Heat, than from Infidelity. Time
will cool their Blood, and Inftruilion may inform their
tlnderftanding ; and when this is difabus'd, the Will fhakes
off the Enchantment.

What can Advice, faid Eufebius, fignify to thofe who
are always more prepared to curfe, or ridicule the Advifer,
than to pradtife the Counfel ^. To thofe who are unman'd
by Eifeminacies, and even nailed to ill Habits ? They
are without Confcience, without Principles, how will
you come at ihetn.'' You may almoft as foon preach
dovyn a Hurricane, or declaim Tempell into a Calm, as
counfel a bad Man into a good one. Whilft we frame
ill Notions of the future State, our Lives will hardly be
regular. What hope of Recovery when the Patient dotes
on the Difeafe, when he flies in the f^ace of the Doiior,
and fufpedls every Cordial to be a Dofe of Arfenick or
Ratsbane? In a Word, the Malignity of the Fever works
up toMadnefs; arid^ like fome Bedlams, they fuppofe
■themfelves the Wifdom of the Nation.

I fuppofe, indeed, that all who throw up their Inno-
cence, and pawn Heaven for Pleafure, have not quite
iaken leave of Religion, or difmifs'd Principles ; but they
have Mofcs and the Prophets^ Paftors and Teachers: I am
3iot Curate-General, nor intend to interfere withanothet's
Fun6tion : Thofe who tend the Sick are often ftruck with
the Infeftion, and the Dodor that cures his Patienc
ibmelinies dies of his Diftemper.

What!

^e Gentleman InJlruBed. 47 3

What! faid Neander with a Smile, you are on Guard
againft the Infedlionof theTown: Surely you have cut-
iiv'd Temptation. Age has fo congeal'd your Blood, that
nothing but a C^r//Z«2(2;-^/(?f/^ is able to thaw it. Neither
the World nor Devil can work up thy Humours to Irre-?
gularity. Thy Paflions, like Serpents in a Froft, drop
their Venom ; they move Avithout Vigour, and almolt
y/ithout Life : They are fo far from capering, that like
Criminals in Tramels, they can fcarce ftand. To have
one Foot in the Grave, and the other in the Brothel is
unufual. Few Men, like JEina^ burn within, when they
are Snow without. A white Head and a glowing Heart
feldom meet.

No Man, reply'd Eufebitis^ is fecure, and therefore all
fhould ftand upon the Qzii va la. Age, indeed, is Ids
expos'd than Youth, but it's not above Danger; and I
have known fome carry their Diforders on to fourfcore.
They fpurred on Nature jaded by Age, and rid dov/n
by a long Courfe of Excelfes, till it funk under the Bur-
then, and went off the Stage both with Shame and Sin,
Icorn'd by Men, and tormented by the Omnipotent.

It's therefore our Duty to withdraw from ill Example,
and not to come within light of Occafions. Like the Ba-
filisk, they kill with their very Sight, and the Poifon is too
quick for a Remedy, Fly therefore, dear Neander^ the
Town ; Temptation feconded by Youth, and fliarpencd
by Idlenefs, will be too hard for Precept. Lot found
Safety in the Country, and his Wife Death for looking
back upon the unfortunate City. God has left this fad
Example for a Caveat to Pofterity, to have any Com-
merce with Sinners, left by Converlation we efpoufe
their Crimes, and partake of their Punifliment.

And indeed when young People fix in Town, they glean
up its Vices, and continue the Pradice, till their Eitates
founder, and their Bodies fink under the Weight of their
Diforders. Unthinking Creatures ! They fport in the
Camp of their Enemiics; Danger furrounds them, and
what is worfe, either unfeen or unrcguarded. Temptati-
on ailaulfs them not with the Violence of an Enemy, but
the Carelles of a Friend. This throws them off their
Guard, difarms Cautions, and gives them up to the Go-
vernment of Carelefnefs, fo that they furrender without
Kefiljance, and figh in Fetters before they dream, of an

Enemy.

474 ^^^ Gentleman hiJlruBed.

Enemy. Nay, one would think they loft their Wits with
their Liberty, and commenc'd Fools the fame Moment
they become Slaves. For they fancy themfelves the only
free Subjects in the Nation, becaufe they are not coop'd
up between four Walls ; and dote on their Captivity,
becaufe they hedtor in Taverns, and rattle in gilt Coachej^
But, alas! thefe pleafing Fancies, are the EfTeft of a
dozing Opiate of the Devil's Malice, not of his Kind-
nefs : He regales his Friends, as the Indians do their
Slaves, meerly to prepare them for Slaughter.

Now thefe Men turned into Senfe, are unqualified for
good Counfel, you may as foon reafon a Swine out of
the Mire, as thefe into Sobriety and Temperance. They'll
.carry on their Brutalities in fpight of all their Sermons they
hear, and make over the Lord's-Day to the Devil.

We have indeed Committees for the Improvement of
Piety, as well as for that of Trade. And fo have made
Provifions for the Intereft of God, no lefs than for that
of the Nation. But, alas I If our Cenfors deferve Cen-
fure, Reformation will be at a ftand ; their Example will
do more Execution on Vice than their Office : And their
Pradlice would carry on more heartily the Intereft of
Virtue, than their Commiffion. A Man that flings his
Eftate into a Mifs's Lap, will not be fined out of her
Company with forty Shillings ; and he who leaps over
the Laws of God, will fcarce boggle at Ads of Parlia-
incnt.

In fine, Neander^ our Town Sparks are a monftrous
Generation, a kind of Centaur, half Man, and half
Beaft. They have the Shape of the Firft, and all the
Brutality of the Second ; they follow the Stream of In-
clination like Beafts; they chop at any thing that grati-
fies Senfe. But then they fwitch on Nature, and here
they leave the Beaft to play the Hend. Immortal Spi-
rits feem tied to all the infamous Impreflions of Flefli and
Blood, and bind themfelves Slaves to the Devil in this
Life, for Pleafure in Hand, and eternal Torments in
Rcverfion.

Had you a Vote in the Houfe, or a Place at the Board,
fald Neaader^ you would be for a Proclamation to clear
the Tov/n of all the young Gallants above Fifteen, and
under Thirty,

When

The Gentleman InflniBed. 47^

When a Gentleman's Bufinefs, reply'd Eufehius, lies
in Town, I would not have him take Coach for the
Country. For at fuch a Diftance things would not go
on kindly. The Man and his Bufinefs, like Man and
Wife, muft live together : Separate Dwellings, require a
feparate Maintenance. Now when we double Expences,
Accounts feldom run even : Thofe who have Offices at
Wbite-Hall, may take up Lodgings in SprtKg-Gardcn or
Pallmall; who intend to build a Fortune upon the haw^
may take up in the Inns of Court : And if they are for
Trade, they may pack off to Ifapping or Cheapjide.

But, I confefs, I would not have thofe come nearer
than Hampjled or Hounflovj- Heathy who have no other
Bufinefs than Diverfion ; for they will certainly idle away
their Time, Mortgage their Souls to the Devil, and their
Eftates to Mifles, Vintners, and Lawyers.

Idlenefs, dear Neander^ is a dangerous Difeafe under
all the Elevations; but it's mortal at London. It's not
only the Mother, but theMiftrefs of Vice. Mtihayij, enin^
rnalhtam docuH otiofitas^ Eccluf, Chap, xliii. A Manthac
has nothing ta do, has Leifure to do any thing: FJe lies
open to all Temptations, and what is worfe, is unprepar
red for a Defence ; like a difmantled Town, he falls intq .
the Hands of the firft Invader.

Indeed at his firft Arrival Bufinefs flows in upon him :
One would think he fat at the Helm, and lleered the
weighty Concerns of the Englijh Monarchy. The firft
Secretary of State is in a lefs Hurry on Poft-Days, and
fends about fewer Difpatches. For you muft know he
Subpoena's SsmpJlreJJ^es .^Taylors ^ Barbers^ and Coachmak-
ers, to appear at his Levee ; one v/ould fancy this hetc-
rogenious Junfto took into Confideration ardua liegn's
Negotia, they play at pro and con with fuch Heat and
Commotion. Now all thisNoife is nothing but a learned
Debate upon the Modes of the Town, and an advanta-
geous Mixture of Colours. He is for Delicacy and Exail-
nefs of Fancy, for nothing tawdry and mechanick, flaunt-
ing or ill matcht.AndDodtors are divided upon the Point ;
but all agree to bubble the Squire. For it's a kind of Po-
jltiL'trr/n among the Beaus, that nothing is modifh that
is not dear; nay, the Goodnefs even of Snuff rifes v.'ith
the Price, and Tobacco at five Guineas the Pound, is
twenty Times belter than the fame at a Crown.

I knev^

47 (^ The Gentleman InJiruBed.

I knew a Spark that fat a whole Morning in a clofe
Committee with a Barber : Now this mighty Confukation
was about a Perriwig. He (hew'dhim Twenty, but one
was too long, another too fliort; this too full, that too
thin: At laft. Sirrah^ fays the Yoiingfler, make me a
fmart IVig^ a fmart one^ ye Dog. The Fellow bled him-
ielf; he had heard, of a fmart Nag, a fmart Man, ^c.
but a fm.nrt Wig was Ctwefe to the Tradefman. How-
ever nothing would pleafe his Worfliip, b[itfmari Shoes,
fmart Hats., and fmari C r av.it s: Within two Days he had
z fmart li^ig., v/ith a fmart Price in the Box. The Truth
is, he had been bred up with the Groom, and tranfplanted
the Stable-dialed into the Dreffing-room.

Was he a Gentleman, faid Meander ? A Gentleman, an-
fwer'd Eiifebius ; yes, of a Family more ancient than the
Norma-a or Saxon Conqueft : He was of the LaFooli of the
North, allied to the eldeft Branch of the La Fools ofEJfex.

Now let us fuppofe his Equipage compleat, and his
Grand Concern over ; his next Bufinefs is to confute ^'o^'s
Aphorifm, Man is born to Labour. No, he is a thing
made meerly for Sport and Pleafure ; he fancies God has
affign'd him no other Employment than to live at Ran-
dom, without Law, without Reftraint. And altho' God
h'as given every part of the Creation a convenient Poft,
he feems a Mute placed in view meerly for Light and
Parade. You muft not therefore wonder 1 attempt not
to define his Calling, feeing he will not pretend to any.

One weighty Affair calls upon him every Morning,
viz. hovj hepallfaunter away the Day. This is a moot
Point, and requires Plodding and Application ; and indeed
he dwells upon the Subject till a confiderable part of the
Day is pad, before he can take a final Refolution how to
pafs it. Nay, with lefs Pains, he might have employ'd
the whole E)ay well, than in the very Deliberation of
fpending it ill.

For pray imagine not the Practice of any Chriftian Vir-
tue falls under Debate, where he fliall hear Prayers, or
where a Sermoti. Alas ! Thofe Duties lie below the Sphere
of a Gentleman who pretends to the Garb and Freedom
of the Town ; he might have difcharg'd them in his
Country Parifli, without the Expence of a flaunting Equi-
"pr.ge, or the Fatigue of a tedious Journey. And you
fiiay take this for a Principle, that Devotion never coach'd
• " a young

The Gentleman InJlrtiBed^ 477

a young Man to Town, nor gave him a Surfeit of the
Country. Liberty, Pleafure, and downright Debauche-
ry allure him thiiher; thefe command him, as God did
Abraham^ to forlake Houfe and Relations to turn Tenant,
though he was Lord and Proprietor in the Country.

The Morning is divided between th^ Pillow and the
Toilet, and this is the moft important as well as the
moll innocent Employment of the Day. The Folly is
much greater than the Sin : For what can be more foolifli
than for a Man to efpoufe the Weaknefs of a Woman ?
To take Pains to be laught at? To drain his Pocket to
make himfelf cheap and ridiculous? However, you may
with more Eafe harangue a Peacock out of his Brains,
than a Town- Spark out of his Gaudry : He will appear
in Print, and convince the World that Finery and Folly
are near allied.

And now his Friends crowd in to give him the bon
jour, thefe are a kind of parrie hleiu, that marode upon
new Comers, with CommifTion from Indigence andNe-
ceffity. They have rioted away their Confcience, met
and diced away their Eftates, and now graze upon the
Common. Their Honefty runs lower than their Pockets,
and their Confidence over-fhoots Impudence. Their
Crimes are as publick as their Debts, and. their Religion
keeps pace with their Morals ; they fcorn to fling even ri
Varnifh over the fouleft Diforders, and will not go to the
/Expence of civil Hypocrily. In fine, they are a Blemifh
to their Family, aNufance to the Town, and a Scandal
to Converfation.

Thefe Sparks, like the Steward in the Gofpel, cannot
dig, and will nut beg ; and altho' Adam was condemned
to live by the Sweat of his Brows, they refolve to make
a Figure by that of their Confcience. At the finl Sight of
a raw Gentleman, they fly at him like a Vulture at the
Quarry, and for the fame end alfo, to pray firft upon his
Virtue, then upon his Money j how many Nets do they
lay to enfnare the Squire, and knave themfelves? They
ply him with Viiits, ftudy his Temper, and ftrike in
with his Inclination. They fvvear his Wit is without
Parallel ; his Behaviour above Imitation ; that a js ne
fcay qiioy runs through every Motion, which charms and
artonifhes. In fine, that he is the very Top of his Species.
The poor Gentleman, unprailifed in the Dialcdt of the

Town,

47^ ^he Gentleman Injiru^e^.

Town, takes thefe Compliments for Content ; he fuppc^
fes himfelf in Yorkpire^ where the Tongue and the Heart-
go together, where Thought and Words look the fame
Way. Now this City-incenfe fends out a moft grateful
Flavour, but it is too ftrong for a Country Brain. It
turns his Head, and fmoaks him out of Senfe and Rea-
fon; he fancies himfelf a Cubit higher; he walks in the
Clouds, and values himfelf not by the Pound, but, like
Diamonds, by the CaraSi.

In a Word, he flings himfelf into their Arms, and gives
liimfelf up to their Diredtion. And then you may be
fure he meet.s with the Fate of the Sheep in the Fable,
•who difmifs the Dogs to graze under the Prote6lion of
the Wolves; for a Libertine is a Devil once removed,
or at leaft his Deputy; nay, he is ten times more mif-
chievous by Proxy, than in Perfon. People of themfelves
are prone enough to Lazinefs, Lewdnefs, and Extrava-
gance, but thefe add Biafs to Nature ; they provoke
Paflion by Precept, and whet Appetite by the Charms of
Glory and Reputation ; they fchool him out of all the
Revelations in the Gofpel, and debauch him in Principle
and Pradice; for Scepticks have faint Notions of God,
and confequently none of Confcience ; they have no
Relifh of Virtue, and lie under no moral Reftraints from
Hope or Fear : So that they have nothing to do, but to
indulge their Inclinations, to gratify Senfe, to fill their
Pockets with one Hand, and to empty them with the
other. Now to take in a Gentleman's Money, you muft
firft beat down all Principles of Morality, you mufl:
draw a Scheme of Gentility by the Rules of Epicure ;
and if you can perfuade him he is only free of the
Tov>?n, when he has dii'charged Confcience, and fent
back Religion into the Country, you may rook him out
of his Eftate with the fame Facility you have raked him
into Debauchery.

For this reafon they take care to inform him of all the
Embelhftiments of a Town-Gentleman, without any
mention of the Duties of a Chriiiian. They tell him, that
Wit is the belt Quarter in a Gentleman's Efcutcheon, and
that he mult bid fair for a Place among theVertuofo*Sy but
that Profanenefs is the (horteft Cut to this Preferment,
and the belt Standard of Senfe and Breeding, id eji,
his Wit mull be as wretched as his Manners. When.

he

The Gentleman Inflni^ed. 47^

he is pinch'd for a Reafon, he muft bolt out a Jeft ; that
fits well enough on a Pedant, ?/'/i on a Gentleman, provi-
ded it be tipt with Impudence, and pointed with Boldnefs;
that he muft beware of that vulgar Error He lig!o», be-
caufe It cramps Freedom, palls the Spirits, and coops up
Liberty in llr.iit Compafs ; that he muft be fure to be out
of the Reach of Scruples, and above the Follies of Re-
morfe. Now fiich Principles, driven on by Example,
eafily lead him intoExcefles; and thefe help on the Belief
of the Doftrine ; fo that by a kind of -mutual Priority,
the one ferves for a Vehicle to the other.

Indeed, at the beginning. Debauchery lies hard upon
his Stomach ; he pukes, and is crop-lick ; but Pra6tice
and Wine carry off the Diftemper, and then the Soul
becomes cafe-hardened ; he is fo far from blufning at
his Diforders, that he thinks Ambition a Reputation for
Debauchery ; he charges himfelf with falfe Impieties,
and ufurps Wickedneiles he is only guilty of by his
Boafting.

And now being flefht in Sin, he bounds from one Dif-
order to another, and turns not only a Day, but the
"Whole Year into a mad fort of BacckanaUa. Other
Trades have fome Weeks of a Vacation, but his go on
the very Sundays ; an^l generally his Profanenefs rifes v/ith
the Holinefs of the Day. His firft Jaunt is to a Treating-
houfe; here he trefpaiTes upon all the Rules of Tem.pe-
rance and Sobriety ; he over-charges his Stomach with
Ragoufts, and his Head with Wine ; Appetite runs away
with Reafon, Senfuality with Shame, and he fancies he
only drinks like a Man, when he finks into the Beaft.
Men (hould eat and drink to live, but he inverts the Pri-
mitive Inftitution, and feems only to live for the Satis-
fa6lion of his Palate: He would never die, yet plungesin-
to Exceiles, as if Life v/ere a Bunhen ; for he is never
well till he falls fick of a Surfeit, and almoft out of his
Wits, till he has drowned them in Claret.

From the Table he removes to Play, and leaves the
Glafs to handle the Dice ; when a Gentleman has drunk
away his Reafon, he generally flings his Money after it;
for he cannot jultify himfelf to the Fafhion, nor keep up
to the Character, unlels his Purfebe as light as his Head ;
and he is haunted by a Brig-ade of Sharpers who ply at
his Pocket, and give no more Quarter to his Guineas,

than

4S0 . The Gentleman Injirufied.

than to their own Confcience. They cruife upon Gen-
tlemen like Parties in Flanders upon Paflengers. Poverty
and Luxury feal their Commiflion ; and what they feize
by one Crime, they throw away by another. One would
take them for Croepis's by their Expences, and for Cut-
purfes by their Filching.

At firll they fufFer him to win to invite him to lofe,
and by good Luck decoy him into bad ; but then the
Wind chops into another Corner ; Fortune fumbits to
Cogging, and the Deceit over-reaches Play. A thoufand
Curfcs fly after Good-luck, but are unable to recal it, fa
that at once he is bankrupted of Patience, Money and
Grace; however he will not fit down with his Lofs, he
fuppofes Fortune continues never long in the fame Hu-
mour; that if file frowns to Day, flie muft fmile to
Morrow : Away then he goes to a fecond Rendezvous,
but alas, the Defire of retrieving his Lolles, only ferves
to enhance them : He feldom difcovers the Deceit, till
nothing is left to be cheated of; nor even fufpeds Over-
reaching, till Caution comes too late.

By this time he has diced himfelf fober, and the Fumes
of Chagrin have mafteied thofe of Wine. Nothing but
a Comedy can difpel the Glooms that rife from an empty
Pocket. Av/ay then they drive to the Theatre ; and here
Vice attacks him by the Eyes and the Ears too ; he fees
almoft the very fecret Myfteries of the Stews, and hears
all the Blafphemies of the Damned ; here Lewdnefs is
fpoken, not in double Entendres^ but plain Englijh ; there
are Paraphrafeand Comment upon the Text, and Folly
isflicwn without Caution or Referve.

Comedy, they fay, was defign'd by Pagan Athens to
inftru6l Youth, and to teach the Bafenefs of Vice by its
Punifliment : But in Chriftian London it tends diredly
to debauch People all manner of ways; For this reafon
good Men are lafli'd, and ill rewarded ; Virtue appears
in Sackcloth, and Vice in Embroidery ; Rakes go ofF
with Succefs, and fober Men with Difappointment ;
the Devil and the Poet chop upon the fame Favourite,
and his Fortune ahvays rifes with his Lewdnefs. Nay,
thofe of the beft Quality in the Play are always the
worft Chriftians ; they glitter in Equipage, and are
dignified with Efcutcheon, and often with Patent to ena-
ble Vice: To perfuade People that the BIsmiflics of Hu-
man

'fhe Gentleman InJiruBed, 4S1

man Nature make up its Perfe6lion, and that Gentle-
men and Reprobates are made of the fame Metal. Now
who can be good under fuch ftrong Provocations to Evil?
Who will pretend to Regularity, when they muft blufti
for their Refolution ; and cannot avoid Reproach un-
It'i.'i they deferve it? Believe me, Neander^ when a
Gentleman is pinch'd with this dangerous Dilemma, /
muft either forfeit my Charaiher or my Innocence •, it's
odds he will rather drop this than put that to a venture;
for it goes hard when one muft turn lewd as it were in
his own Defence, and can expedl no Quarter, unlefs he
hangs out the Colours of Libertinifm and Irreligion,
and boafts of thofe Crimes he is only guilty of in Ap-
pearance.

Now though fuch hideous Flights of Profanenefs, fuch
Heights of Obfcenity, and Strains of Religion fhould be
all Penance and Mortification to Chriftians, yet they are
not only permitted, but applauded by the Nobility of
both Sexes, and the Standard of their Approbation is of-
ten the Indecency of the Poem : Nothing is fuppofed
foft, unlefs it be rotten ; and all thofe Pieces are damned
by theSpe£lators, that damn not the Audience. When
the moft flaming Impieties are thus received with Tranf-
port on the Stage, are they not ftamp'd as it were with
publick Authority ? And when the worft A6tions are
moft efteemed, who will boggle at the Pradlice that
brings both Credit and Pleafure? It's certain the Charms
of the Theatre are no lefs transforming than thofe of
Cercesy it enchants Men out of their Species, they leave
iheir Reafon behind them, and carry Brutality to their
Lodgings ; it deftroys all Principles of Religion and Mo-
rality ; it countenances Atheifm, and places the Glory
of Gentlemen, in the Infamy of Pluman Nature ; it
fullies the Imagination, boils up the Humours, and fires
the Palfions ; and when it has thus ftarted the Game,
Flefli and Blood pampered by high-feeding, and fupplied
with Money, will follow the Chace ; and you may take
it for granted that London is better (I mean worle) ftock'd
with Thais's thzx\ Lncreiia's YoUth and Coin make pro-
ftitute Women, as well as debauch'd Men, and the
Play-Houfe ferves not only for a School to Proftitution,
but for a Nurfery alio to the Stews ; nay, and fome-
times to Bethlem.

I i Now

482, TheG^virL'S.UkHi lnfru0ed.

Now when a young Gentleman is drench'd in Brutality;
when criminal Amours take the Afcendant, he is undone
to all Intent and Purpofe ; for when Love flies high, Rea-
fon runs low ; and whofoever has made over his Heart
to a Mifs, feldora keeps his Wits ; he lies open to all the
Aflaults of Artifice and Avarice, and his Soul becomes
as beftial as his Pleafures, he can think of nothing that
is generous or manly. So that in Conclufion, he has no
more of the Man, than of the Chriltian.

To comprehend all in a little ; a Town- Spark is a kind
of Cor/«/^/«»« Brafs ; this is a Mixture of all Metals, and
he a Compound of all Diforders ; he h a little Anti-
chrift, Homo pec cati, a Man of Six ; and this, like the
Devil in the Gofpel, is call'd Legion ; he plies between
the Tavern and the Play-Houfe, and then turns off to the
Groom-Porters^ or the Stews ; in one place he drops his
Wits, in the other his Money, and every w here his Inno-
cence. So that the Devil lodges moftly in his Pocket,
and always in his Soul, ije has the Shape of a Man,
and all the Inclinations of Beafts ; his Study is to flufh
the moll agreeable Objedls of Senfe, and his whole Sa-
tisfadtion to enjoy 'em ; he ftands not upon the Niceties of
Decency, nor formalizes upon the Notions of Good and
Evil. Pleafure is the Rule, as well as the End of his
Adlions; and although he be unable to fatisfyone Piiflion,
he endeavours to glut them all. When he can devife no
new Crime, he entertains his Thoughts on the Ideas of
pad Diverlions, and fo debauches his very Memory, as
well as his Will, and commits imaginary Sins, which,
unrepented, will be revenged with real Torments.

I confefs, faid Neander^ if the Orit^inal holds up to
this Copy, a Town-Spark has more of the Monller than
of the Man; and I would no more come within the
Air of the City, than of a Peft-Houfe. But certainly
you over-flourifh upon an ill Subjedt, and paint 'em in
more difadvantageous Colours than Nature made 'em,
fuch Creatures are found in Fancy only, not in Life ; and
I believe Satyr has drawn fome black Stroaks upon
Pradtice. Without doubt young Gentlemen are not all
Saints ; nor arc they all Fiends ; fome may live better,
and others worfe.

Indeed, Ncander^ replied Eufehius^ I have drawn the
young Men of the Town in worfe Colours than Na-
ture

'I'he Gentleman InJiruBed. 483

ture made 'em, but not fo bad as they have made them-
felves. Call a tranfient Glance on thofe of your Acquain-
tance, and you will confels our Age fwarms with Borbo-
rites, as well as the preceding,, who rowl in Mire, like
Swine, of the moft hideous Senfualities ; having fhaken
oft" the Yoke of Obedience to Parents, they break through
the Commandments of God. Scorn all Guides, but Te-
merity ; all Law, but the Liberty to follow every Im-
pulfe of PafTion ; all Labour, but that of the Devil, to
plunge themfelves into eternal Flames, and others with
'em, that they may find Companions in Punifhment, as »
well as in Plcafurt,

But pray, what is this to the Town ? anfwered Nean-
der : In fpight of Provocation to Evil, Men may live
with Regularity in the very Liberties of the City; if
therefore they deviate from their Duty, leave the Fault at
their own Door, and charge not the Town with their
Extravagances. I grant. Temptations are frequent, and
often violent ; but then thefe polifh Virtue, as Fire pu-
rifies Gold. Virtue, till it be brought to the Touch-ftone,
has often more Luftre than Solidity, and all its Value
hangs on the Surface. But when it Hands its Ground in
fpight of Provocation, and bears up againft the Torrent
of Flefh and Blood, it then appears like the Sun in its
Meridian, in Pomp and Glory.

Without doubt, fa id Eufehius, London Air has no In-
fluence on Man's Free-will ; it lays under noReftraint, no
fatal Neceflity. Man is Mafter of his Choice, in one
Place as well as in another ; but what avails a Power to
live v/ell, with a Will to live ill ? A Man muft lie under
the irrevocable Sentence of Damnation to fin merely for
Sin's fake. Such a llrain of Aialice is above the reach of
the moft daring Debauchee: Intereft, Ambition, and
criminal Pleafures, are the great Incentives to Vice, thefe
rouze Appetite, enliven tl',e Paffions, and then fubdue
the Will. Now where do thefe Temptations take up
their Lodgings, but in the Town ? Here they are let off
with all the Charms of State and Grandeur ; and then, be-
fides, they perfecute Youth, not with Frowns, but Smiles,
and kill with Kindnefs.

But ycu tell me, Temptation poliflies Virtue, anddi-
ftinguifhts Sterling from Artifice and Appearance. Great
and Good ! why don't you take a turn in a Peft-houfe, to

J i 2 trv

4 84 ^he Gentleman InftruHecl.

try the Strength of yourConftitution, or in an Hofpffal
to Air your Lungs ? By all means ; young Men {hould
ftep into a Brothel to refine their Chaftity, and into a
Tavern to praftife Temperance and Sobriety. Dear Sir,
the Way to fecure Virtue, is not to expofe it ; come not
within Sight of Temptation: It's a fhort Paflage from
being provoked to Evil, and doing it : Fear is a better
Guardian of Piety than Confidence, and more Men have
forfeited it by Temerity than Caution.

But certainly, Hiid Neander^ London is not compofed
of T'averns, Brothels^ and Theatres. Gentlemen may
vifit more regular Places, and fling away their Time on
Diverfions lels dangerous and more innocent.

Yes, reply'd Eufebius, they may vifit a hundred and
thirty Churches, and I allure you this Jaunt vvould take
much Time oft' their Hands ; but alas ! their Bufinels lies
not within Sight of a Chapel; they may alfo cry about
th^ ^ixttis Save-alls ^u^Charcoal^ or tug at an Oar be-
tween Temple- Bar znd IVhiie-Hall. Or, in fine, they
may fleer by the Compafs of Sir S — Z>— who drove
every Day in a ftately Equipage to all the Toy-fliops be-
tween Piccadilly and the Royal-Excbunge ; he viewed
every Thing, but bought nothing. The Gentleman would
not do worfe, but could not frame any Paftime better ;
without doubt he play'd the Fool, but not the Rake;
he toy'd away his Time, yet kept his Money with his
Innocence; his Soul was little, though his Birth was
great, and his Inclinations childifh at Threefcore. . How-
ever, it's better' to trifle, than to debauch away Time,
and to be a Coxcomb, than a Reprobate. But fuch a
Humorift is a Phxfiix^ the Binh and Wonder of an
Age ; a Pair feklom meets in a Kingdom, and never iu
one City.

You take Things by the wrong Handle, faid Nca»der^
and reprcfent them at aDifadvantage: If the Sun, unin-
fluenced by inferior Bodies, has ibine Spots, what won-
der a Town-Life be waited on by fome Inconveniences ?
I grant many Diverfions are not innocent, yet all are
not criminal. For Example ; what Harm in taking the
frefh Air in //y^^-P^r^? And then in driving to a Con-
fort of Mufick ? Thefe Entertainments are genteel, they
unbend the Mind, refrefli the Body, gratify the Senfes,
and have noDefign upon Virtue.

I be-

fhe Gentleman Injir tiffed. 485

I believe, anfwer'd Eufebiur, the A\r of Hyiie- Park is
more whollbme than that of Cheafjide j and that a
mouthful now and then may be as good for the Stomach
as a Vomit ; but then 1 am perfuaded a Dofe of Country
Air would clear the Lungs, and carry oft'the Smoak from
the Thorax, with lefs Expence and Danger. But do you
think, Neander^ the Bt'^«x and Belles have no other Bu-
fmefs there, than to take in a Cargo of frelh Air? alas!
this is only the Pretence, their Defign is worle complexi-
oned ; thefe appear in the Height of Pomp and Equipage ;
and care is taken to fet oft' their Charms with all the Ad-
vantage of Fan and Artifice ; they fmother the Defedls of
Nature under a varnifh of Silk, and plain the Furrows,
Time has funk in their Faces, with Pomatums ; the Ring
is a kind of Noah's Ark ; they are, Seven ui^clean Crea*
tures^ for two clean. Ladies of Honour ride Pall-mall^
with thofe of Pleafure; and you will fcarce diftinguifh
them but by their Equipage j for you mull know, a Mifs
out-glitters my Lady ; flie runs away with the Wives
Jewels, as well as with the Hufband's Heart, and com-
mands his Purfe with no lefs Empire than his Perlbn.

Now pray, Neander^ tell me, is here no Danger for a
young Man, who is haunted by Paflion, and leaves think-
ing at Home ? May not Love fly from one Coach into
another ? And may not an Intrigue begun in Publick be
improved in Private to Proftitution ? In a Conflux of
both Sexes, many meet upon ill Defigns; and when
fomeare difpofed to fell Pleafure, and others to purchafe
it, they feldom difagree upon the Price j in a word, I do
not fay a Turn in the Park is criminal, yet oftentimes
it's unfafe.

Though I rank not the Love of Mufick among the
Signs of Predeftination, yet I am no Enemy to the Sci-
ence. I am not even for banifhing it the Churches. Me-
thinks an Organ well touch'd gives a Majefty to the Du-
ties of Religion, and rouzes up the mofl drowfy Spirit
to Devotion. 1 am not for turning Inflrumental Mufick
out of civil Converfation j nor do I think with PlatOy
that the V'toUn or Harf have fuch an Influence on the
Government, that one String more would untune the
Common-wealth. I believe ihe Ephori of Laced^tmon had
little Bufinefs on their Hands, when they Hinted the Lute-
Itrings, and that the Senate deferved rather to be laugh'd

lis at

486 fhe Gentleman Injira^e^,

at for feizing the Fiddle, than Timotheus to be blamed for
exceeding the publick Allowance.

However, it's certain airy Mufick raifes fportive Hu-
mours, and tunes the Spirito to Diverfion \ it awakens
Paflion, warms the Blood, animates Fancy, and opens it
to Pleafure. Indeed it's not directly vicious ; yet how far
it may contribute to Vice, thofe who haunt thofe Places
are the moft competent Judges ; but the vocal Mufick is
lewd to Scandal, and irreligious to Excefs ; here you
have Lewdn^ils in F»//>, crowded in a Couplet^ and an
Iliad of Mifchief in a Nut-pell.

The Subje6l is always profane or amorous; and both
to the Height of the Poet's Fancy; it's better in Rhime
and Metre to help the Memory of the Audience; it's
garnifli'd with Wit to make a deep Impreffion on the In-
tel'ed; fo that here is Arfenick thrown into Ratsbane,
Poifon upon Poifon ; and befides an airy Tune and a fine
Voice ferve for a Vehicle ; they gild the Dofe, take off
the Unpalalablenefs of the Potion, and infufe Pleafure
and Tranfport ; when Lewdnefs is work'd up with Verfe
and Mufick, the Mifchief riles; ihefe drive it ftronger
upon Fancy and Pra6lice.

But if it' be performed by a Woman, it's then Poifon
thrice boiled, mortal and fudden : It attacks not Virtue
by Siege and Approaches, but, like Gun-powder, blows
it up in a Moment ; it's downright Provocation ; for tho*
fhe feems to venp the Poet's Thoughts, fne warbles out
her own, and covers her Amours under the fabulous
Names of Claris and Sylvia. A Wonian that courts in
Mufick, folliclts in good earned, and is cither fome Spark's
Conqueft already, or intends to make one. Il*s odds,
that fhe who fings ill Things, will do worfe; nov.' when
the Inclination is engaged by a fine Voice, and melting
Notes; when the Words recommend the Bufinels of
Lewdnefs, and the Sex pleads for it, whether Paffion be
not like to get the better of Duty, I leave, Neaacler^ to
your Confiderafion

But certainly. Sir, replied Neauder.^ Vice is not in {o
flourifhing, nor Virtue in fo finking a Condition as you
\^'ouId perfuade me ; who would not.think by your Dif-
courfe, that Licentioufnefs and Impiety had called in the
City Charter, and by a Quo Warranto^ diverted the Mayor

and

7he Gentleman hiflruBed. 487.

and Aldermen of the Government, to invade it them-
felves? You draw a Picflure of London in as black Co-
lours, as the Scripture paints Sodom and Gomorrah.^ and
reprefent the Inhabitants Sinners befur'e the Lord^ from
the highefl to the loivejl ; but for all that a Gentleman
may find Ibber and civil Company ; and I am acquainted
with Perlbns of Chara6ler, who make a Confcience of
doing a bad Thing.

I met once, faid Eufebius, a poor Fellow poring on a
Book; well Tow?, faid I I what Book hail thou there?
the Bibte^ Mailer, reply'd Tom. The Bible^ faid I ! it's
a good Book. There is, no doubt, fober and civil Com-
pany in Town, here and there ^ if a body could but find it ;
but badfo prodigioufly over-tops it bo± in Number and
Quality, that there is no coming at it j like Gold in the
Mine, it mull be found by Sweat and Labour ; and
then too, you muft remove a Tun of L)uft for one
Ounce of Oar.

I believe alfo with Tow, that here and there a Body may
find a Confcience ; but then you mull be at the Charge
of a Hue and Cry, or fend the Conllable with a Warrant
upon the Expedition ; for Confcience of late, like Deb-
tors, Iculks in the dark, or walks the Streets incognito ;
and then when you have arrefted it in Her Majelly's
Name, a Man knows not v/hat to make of it ; it Hands
at Trifles, and breaks through Enormities; llrains at a

Flea, and fwallows a Camel. T H took check

at a Companion for linging a harmlefs Air upon the
Lord's-day: Fye^fye ! I will not fujfer, faid he, ?^(? Sab-
bath to be thus prophaned in my Prefence. Yet the next
Sunday this very Confcience invited the Sabbath-breaker
to a Brothel. ThiS Gentleman had a Confcience, no
doubt, butfomethingin Diforder: One would have ta-
ken him for an African Negro^ who places Beauty in
Blacknefs, and Deformity in a clear Complexion. A
gay Humour, in his Opinion, v/as a capital Crime, and
Fornication an innocent Diverfion. The Town and
Liberties fwarm with this Breed of Gonfciences ; they
are bought at eafy Rates ; nay, are become both a Drug
and a Nulfance to Commerce and Society.

I have, indeed, drawn London in black Colours ; but
methinks the Copy nicks the Original ; and if it refefn-
bles Sodom ^ who can help it 3 the Fault lies in the Like-

I i 4 nefs

488 The Gentleman InJiruM.

nefs of their Faces, not in the Painter, Indeed, I fear,
a PortapoUs and a London Beau are of the fame Alloy;
true to Flefh and Blood, but falfe to Sobriety and Good-
nefs. And then for ihe Belles, they are call in the fame
Mould. Vanity, Balls, and DrefTing, run away with the
P<a/(?yr/»^ Ladies Thoughts, and do not they monopolize
our LoKido,/ Ladies time? In fine, the foreign Vices of
both Sexes thrive in our Climate ; and if Syria has fet
us a Pattern, London out-does the Original. You will
tell me London is a reformed City, how then dare I com-
pare the Exceflesofa Chriftian People, with the hideous
Diforders oi,Paga»s ? Is not this to fet Idolatry above the
Worfhip of the true God, and the Slaves of Beelzebub
above the Children oijefus Chrift ? By no means ; our
Belief is excellent, but our Manners rtark nought; and
this is the RicWle, that Men fliould profefs Chrift, and
difown his Maxims ; reverence his Perfon, and defpife
his Commands: This is in fome meafure a forty-two
Diftin6lion, when Men honoured and fought for the
King againft the Tyranny of C^^r/^j iS'/z/iari;, and broke
the fundamental Laws of the Nation to maintain them.

Our Nation is a Babel of Religions, and the City a
Pantheon : We have trick'd up Chriftianity in all Dref-
fes, and modelled it to the Fancy of French and Engl'jb
Fanaticifm. One would think we were upon the Difco-
very of new Paflages into Heaven, as well as into the
South and T'iriarean Seas, or that each Man refolved to
leave the High-road, to fteal in at a Bye-lane.

Now when forty Religions Inug under the Protection
of the Law, few are really believed ; for where Reve-
lation is queftioned. Practice will of Courfe be brought
to the Bar, an^thcn it's odJs, thofe Principles that fa-
vour Nature, ^will get the Advantage over thofe that re-
ftrain ity Tho', therefore London be a rcform'd City, a
Latitude of "F^itj;!: draws after it a grea-ter of Principles ;
and when thefe are rotten, how fliall our Behaviour be
found ?

Well, faid Neandcr, but fuppofe our Privy-Council
thinks fit.to barfifh, by Proclamation, young Gentlemen
twenty Miles from the Town, will they remove out of
th'e Reach of Vice, and ftand clear of thofe Diforders that
wait on a City Life ? I fancy Vice is a Weed that over-
runs Villages as well as Towns ; and^.a Man who re-

*' folves

fhe Gentleman Injlru^ed. 48^

folves to regale Appetite, may feaft it in Northumberland;
nay, and at ^ cheaper Rate too. Now a low-feafon'd
Pleafure that coftsbut a Crown, rehfhes better, and rai-
fes a more agreeable Senfation on the Organ, than a high-
fpice-d Satisfaction that coft twenty ; and then for God's
fake, what Buiinefs have unfettled Gentlemen on their
Hands in their Father's Houfes? Do they not faunter
away their Lives in Kennels and Stables j and run them-
felves down in the Chace of Hares and Foxa ? So that
living among Peafants and Beafts, they put on the Beha-
viour of thofe, and all the Brutality of thefe; and thus
become half Man, halfBeaft: For, in a Word, a Coun-
try-Gentleman is a Compound of much Pride, and little
Merit, a Sultan in a fmall Parifh, a Tyrant in Bttfto^ and
a Clown at length ; he eats much, but drinks more,
March Beer is his NeBar^ and powder'd Beef \\\^Ambro-
fium, and when he has lain fome Neighbours on their
Backs at the Barrel's-head, he (hines in the Top of his
Glory.

You miftake me, Meander^ replied Eufehius, Lazinels
and Plenty live in Hamblets, as well as Cities, and Vice
always makes a part of their Retinue ; there is no Sanc-
tuary on this Side the Moon againft Diibrders; no Sin
is a Prerogative only granted to Heaven ; and tho' Grace
and Caution may preferve us from Guilt, they don't from
Danger.

But however this Plague rages more in Town than in
the Country, and carries off more there in one Parifh in a
Week, than here in a whole Country in a Twelve-month.
Temptations Ibllicit, but bad Cojupany fpurs on to
Wickednefs. If in the Country Debauchery be fome-
times pradtifed, in Towns it's openly profeis'd ; here are
Schools and Academies of this Black Art^ tho' not by
Licence, yet at leaft by Connivance. Procurelles receive
Stipends, and Gentlemen give Procreation Money as well
for their Pleafures, as their Play : In fhort, Wickednefs
is brought to Method, Principle, and Demonftration ; and
I fancy we Avail take up again our Anceftors Trunk-
breeches, before we lay down thisdeteftable Science. Let
us fuppofe a Country-Gentleman is fomething toofeverc
upon harmlefs Animals ; is it not more pardonable to
rundown a Hare, than an Eftate? To worry a Fox, than
Confcience ? Take Things by the worll handle, and you

may

45>o fhe Gentleman InftruM.

may fay he rides, hunts, (hoots, and faunters away his
Life: But a Town-Spark whores, blafphemes, drinks,
dices away Health, Eftate, and Soul into the Bargain. The
Diverfion of thofe are mean, of thefe vicious and criminal.
Thofe might live better, and thefe cannot worfe. This
being fo, the Dilbrders of the former come not within
view of thofe of the iatter; thole fpend their time like
Keepers, thefe like Fiends. Thofe fall below the level
of Gentlemen, and thefe of Chriftians.

What Remedy ? fays Neander ; More Caution and
lefs Ill-nature in Parents, anfwer'd Eufebius. Had they
more Care of their Children, thefe might have more Senfe
of their Duty. There would be lels Idlenefs in the
World, and confequently lei's Vice. Let them apply be-
times their younger Sons to Ibme honed Calling, that
they may beat out of Induftry and Labour a handfome
Livelihood- This will employ their Thoughts, and their
Time, and keep Temptation at a Diftance. A iMan that
has honeft Bufmefs on his Hands, i'eldom harbours difho-
neft Deiigns in his Heart: Belides, it fecures his riper
Years. Nobility alone, as the World goes, is a flender
Inheritance. Good Blood muil have good Coin to ap>
pear fignificant, and make a Figure. A Gentleman that
lives by his Wits muft turn off Confcience, and will
take leave of Religion. An Annuity of fifty Pounds /j^-r
Anmim finks quickly to the Lees. An unlucky Throw of
the Dice fets it a- tilt. And then a Mifer's Stipend calls
him at leail two Years behind-hand. Poverty hangs
heavy on all Men; it difpiriis Courage, tempts Virtue,
and dares a Man to be wicked ; it caffs him into De-
fpair. Now a Gentleman cannot poiTibly fall into a
worfe Difeafe. For it deads all Thoughts of Birth, Ho-
nour, and Virtue, and forces him either to turn Pad on
the Road, or Sharper in Tov/n; and then he ends his
Days by the Sword, or the Halter.

Parents muft lettle the Heir betimes: And it's more
advifeable to do it a Year too foon, than a Month too
late. The Care of a Family will take up a great Part of
his Time, and of his Thoughts. And when they are
tied to Bufinefs, they will fcarce be at Leifure to purfue
criminal Pleafures. Generally our Heart and our Con-
cerns lodge in the fame Apartment, and when thefe lie
at Home, that feldom ftirs Abroad.

r. J,

^he Gentleman Inftru5fed, 45) i

T". y. was a young Gentleman of great Expe6laticn.
His Eftate equall'd his Birth, and his Endowments both.
Nature had join'd a graceful Prefence to an extraordi-
nary Wit. So that it was hard to determine, whether
he ftood more obliged to Providence for the Symmetry
of his Body, or the Ornaments of his Soul. He was
paft one and twenty, and I ufed all my Intereft with his
Father to fettle him. I told him, in all Probability, his
Son would prove like the Prophet's Figs, either verygaod,
or very bad^ that his Complexion promifed nothing ordi-
nary. For he had great PafTions, tho' his Education chain'd
'em: And if they got loofe, they would drive him upon
the greateft Extravagances. A Match of 10,000/. was
propos'd ; and nothing remained to conclude it, but a
Settlement of 500 /. fer Annum in prefent upon the young
Gentleman his Son. But the very word Settlement threw
the old Gentleman ofFthe Hinges, and fcar'd him into all
the Poftures of Impatience; fuch Scenes of Extravagance
are feldom feen in Bethlem. Never Man in his Wits
better topt the Frenfies of a Madman. He was one of
thofe who rave after Money, when they have leaft ufe
for it ; and furnifh their Pockets with great Viaticums^
when they are almoft at their Journey's end. I thought
he was within an Ace of playing the Defperado^ like
Ap'tc'tus the Roman, who dabbed himfelf with thirty thou-
fard Pounds in Cafh, out of an Apprehenfion of dying
in Poverty, and thus not to die a Beggar, expir'd like a
Madman. He was deaf to Advice, and Paflion had quite
mafter'd Reafon. He flill fuppofed the fame Pen that
lign'd the (Conveyance, would write his Execution ; that
Life and Money would go together.

The young Squire talked both of his Miftrefs and his
Money, took check, and over-a6ted the very Extrava-
gances of hi") Father. He fpurr'd to London, and left a
thoufand Curfes behind him. Here he ftruck up with
Sharpers^ Scourers, and Alfatians. And to compleat his
Misfortune, made Acquaintance with the Players. He
bounded from bad to worle, till he finifhed a Courfe of
Debauchery, and undid himfelf to revenge his Father's
Unkindnefs.

The old Gentleman feem'd unconcern'd at his Son's
Misbehaviour, and comforted himfelf with good Wives
Proverbs, An untoward Childy faid he, will make a brave

Man-,

4^2 7he Gentleman Inftru^ed.

Man ; he will take up when he has fovj^d his wild Oats.
But alas, he took up only Money ^ Blajphemies, Lewdnefs.,
and Irreitgion : And all thole accurs'd Principles that ftu-
pify Confcience, and give Liberty to Appetite. I had the
Fortune to meet this unhappy Gentleman. Gloominefs
methought fat on his Face, and Difcontent appear'd in
every Motion. I fuppofe Confcience made fome Etforts
to refcue him, and that a kind Remonftrance might lec-
ture him into his Duty. But no; he was too far gone
for a Cure. Vice had got the Afcendant, and twilled it
felfwith his Nature. He feem'd rather fond than aflia-
med of his Excefles, and almoll grown proud of his Mif-
behaviour. The Caufe of his Melancholly lay in his
Pocket. He had bajjetted away his Money, and his
good Humour; and as his Debts fwell'd, his Credit
funk, and the Apprebenfions of Bailiff's and Catch- poles
dafh'd all his Sweets with Gall and Wormwood.

In fine, flefh'd in Debauchery, he was paft Recovery :
So that he run on in the broad Way, till a Stab ftop'd
his Career, to begin a longer Courfe of Torn^ents. Now
had his Father been kinder, he might have lived a fine
Gentleman, and died a pious Chriftian. But the old
Man's Avarice difcarded him of all the Sentiments of a
Parent. To fave a Penny, be expofed his Son, and fo
ruin'd him eternally, to gratify a Caprice.

Well, faid Neander, this Cruelty of the Father fbould
fland upon Record as a perpetual Caveat to Parents, and
the unfortunate End of the Son fhould fcare young
Gentlemen from a hair-brain'd Pafiion, debauch'd Com-
pany, and a Town Life. It's a BlefTmg to reap Inftruc-
tion from another's Misfortune ; but it's a fevere Pu-
nifhment to teach Pofterity by our own. You have con-
vinc'd me, dear Eufebius, of the Danger of a Town-Life;
and I will not run into the Arms of Temptation. We
are not feciire when we fly the Occalion, much lefs
when we court 'em.

I applaud your Refolution, reply'd Eufebius^ Temp-
tations will certainly be too hard for good Counfel, and
Incentives to Vice for Exhortation to Virtue. If you
intend to fly Sin, retire from Danger. A pious Refolu-
tion is feldom Proof againft a ftrong Invitation to Evil.
Neander ftaid fome Months with Eufebius ; he had fuch
■^ Refnedl for his Perfon, fuch a Veneration for his Virtue,

that

T^e Gentleman Infru^ed, 45^3

that nothing was able to wean him from his Gonverfa-
tion, but a peremptory Command of his Father to re-
turn Home.

DIALOGUE II.

Eow Eufebius beha-ved himfelf in the ManagemsHt of
his Eftate.

TpUfehius had been train'd up in the Court and Camp ;
^-^ yet he efpous'd the Vices of neither: He remember'd
the Covenant he had made in the Font of Baptifm with
his Saviour; that there he renounced all Amity with the
World, and promis'd to comply with all the Maxims of
the Gofpel. He endeavour'd therefore to keep up to the
Height of the Engagement, and poftpon'd all temporal
Pretenfions to thofe of Eternity. A Senfe of his Duty to
his King and Country, fix'd him in both thefe Stations,
not a View of Intereft or Glory. And he has been often
heard to fay, That thofe who are Slaves to Moy7ey ^command
Confcienve^ and fcorn to truckle to the vulgar Notions of
Good and Evil. So that an interefted Man throws off
Honefty, when he takes up the defire of Wealth; and is
as far from being a trufty Minifter to his Prince, as a
faithful Servant to his Mafter, In every Poft he beha-
ved himfelf with that Uprightnefs and Vigilance, nay,
and Succels alfo, that all confefs'd his Merits anfwer'd
his Station ; but he never courted any Recompence, be-
iides the Satisfadion of having difcharg'd his Duty. His
Ambition w^s to delerve Preferment, not by Placets to
extort it ; nor was he ever heard to murmur (when put
by) that Favour over-top'd Merit, or that Recommenda-
tions took Place of long Service. At the Revolution he
withdrew from Rulinels, and could never be perfuaded
to llrike in with the new Government.

Having retreated from the Noile and Hurry of the
Town, he began to coniider the Inftability of human
Things, and concluded that worldly Happlnefs is preca-
rious, and ftands not only upon a Precipice, but upon
Ice too, altho' it's a difficult Point to prevail with a great
Man, and to depend on his Grandeur, or to perfuade

him

45>4 ^^^ Gentleman InflruBed,

him his Station is flippery, or that the Babel he hasrais*d
will fink into Dull, and bury him under the Ruins. If
Princes fall, faid he, where fhall Subjedls find fure
footing ? If we are unfafe, furrounded with Guards,
what Security without them? If Friends turn treache-
rous, who dare we trull? If Relations betray us, where
mull we expe6l Fidelity ? All this World can give, may
be taken away ; fo that the moft wealthy, the moft dig-
nify'd Man upon Earth has this only Advantage above the
Peafant, that in a Moment he may tumble lower, and
confequently be more miferable. For certainly he is lefs
unhappy whom Fortune never favour'd, than himfhehas
forfaken. Why then do we unpeople Provinces to glut
our Ambition, and raife Cities to build proud Palaces up-
on their Ruins ? Why do we unbowel the Earth to feaft
our Avarice, and fweat under Ground to purchafe Cares
and Difcontent above it ? For who has moll to lofe, has
always moft to fear. The higheft Station puts no Bounds
to an ambitious Spirit, nor the vafteft Treafures to a co-
vetous one. 'Whtn Alexander had even gotten all, he de-
iired fomething more. His Willies fwell'd with his Con-
queft, and his Pride march'd farther than his Armies. His
Treafures were immenfe, but his Prodigality was grea-
ter, and his Wants lurpafs'd both. Money never makes
a Man rich ; the more he has, the more he covets. He
is not poor that has enough, but he who poflefles Milli-
ons, if he defires more.

Seeing therefore Inconftancy^ Cares ^ Dijfat'tsfudion^ and
either Emptinefs or a Surfeit waits upon fublunary En-
joyments, why do we place our Happinefs folow ? And
court Vexation of Spirit for our fupream Felicity ? God
has feated our true Enjoyments above the Smoak of this
inferior World, and out of the Reach of Cafualties. In
vain therefore we \\eary our felves in the purfuit of real
Satisfadlion here, that is only to be found hereafter.

This Conlideration fo wean'd Etifebius from the Love of
the World, that he flung up all Pretenfions to future Ad-
vancements, and refolv'd to lay out his Time upon the
Purchafe of a happy Eternity. He kept his Word, for
immediately he withdrew into the Country, and allied
all the Qualities of a Gentleman, fo handfomely with the
Duties of a Chriftian, that it was hard to judge whether
his Behaviour was more genteel, or more religious. He

was

^he Gentleman Inftru^ed. 45)3

was wont to fay, Thofe lie under a Mijiake, vjho fancy
Virtue is an Enemy to good Breeding ; that a Man r/iuji
turn off Civility to commence a Saint^ and disband from
the Society of Men, to keep a Correfpondence with God.
iVo, »o, continued he, Chrijiiantty makes Men honeji in-
deed, but not Clowns ; it forbids Grimace, but not Sin-
cerity \ it puts a Mean between Fuppijhnefs and Ruflicity,
and forbids to Jhew no Breeding by affeding to Jhew too
much. Virtue fmooths the Brow as well as the Confciencey
and knows to temper innocent Mirth with a feafonable Ke-
fervednefs. So that we may keep up to the Height of our
Duty to God, without dropping our Obligation to Neigh-
bourhood and Society.

Eufebius divided the Day between Devotion, Bufinefs,
and innocei7t Diverlions ; or rather he devoted it entirely
to God ; becaufe he raifed to a fupernatural End the
moft indifferent Adlions, and never withdrew his Thoughts
from his Creator, even in the Government of his Fami-
ly, or Heat of his Recreations. So foon as he was up,
he retired into his Clofet, and pafs'd an Hour either in
Prayer, or the reading of good Books. And he took
fuch a Pleafure in them, that he renounced all unprofit-
able and profane Ledures, in which fo many Perfons
employ their Time to avoid Idlenefs , by an Idlenefs no
lefs vain, and often more dangerous.

He could not endure the ridiculous Affedlations of ma-
ny Gentlemen, that is not only pafs'd into a Cuftom, but
almoft into a Law, v.'ho fuppofe the leaft inlight into
their Concerns forfeits their Patent, and throws 'em be-
low the level of Quality j that it's a Mark of Peafantry
to balance their Incomes with their Expences; or to take
Notice whether their Revenues will keep touch with
their Piodis.dity. One would think Gentlemen took
Mr. Dr\iten\ Satyr in Don Sebajiian for a Panegyrick,
who allows 'em ftill Pockets, and empty Heads ; great
Rftates in Luud^ and none in Wit.

Erifebius thought it no more below the Station of a
Gentleman, to take Care ofanEftate, than to pofl'efs one.
He I'ufpected not the Fidelity of his Steward, yet he
thought it againft the Laws of Prudence to trufthimtoo
far ; for he knew Men are feldom careful of others Con-
cerns, when thry are negligent in their own : That it's a
dangerous Experiment, to put even Honefty it felf to the

Trial.

49 6 The Gentleman InfjruBe^.

Trial. For alas, it's odds, that a Servant will cheat witlr-*
out Scruple, when he can without Difcovery. He there-
fore every Week call'd his Steward to Account, view'd
the Regifters, and balanc'd his Receipts with his Expen-
ces. And thus he kept within Compafs, and lived hand-
fomely upon his own, not upon the Sweat of poor Shop-
keepers and Labourers. For he look'd on the taking
upon Credit, as a Blur to a Gentleman's Reputation.
And he ufed to fay. To run deep in Merchant's Books^ if
an infallible Symptom of a Jinking E(i at e^ or a loft Confci-
ence. For who will run upon Tick that has Money
in Hand I Or, who intends to pay his Debts that has
Credit to Contrad them, and no Fund to quit Scores ?

He therefore modell'd his Family to his Eltate, not to
his Quality, and his Equipage to his Purfe, not to his Ti-
tle. For neither Patent nor Coronets arc a Proteftion to
Injuftice. And certainly he is guilty of this Crime, who
contrails Debts he knows himfelf unable to conceal :
Indeed it's a Gentleman's Pradtice, and fo is the Breach
of all God's Commands : But alas. Quality can't fandti-
fy an ill A6lion, nor unhallow a good one.

Eufebius could not endure to enter his Name in Mer-
chant's Books; he would therefore rather defer a Pur-
chafe, than take it upon Truft. He compared Debtors
to the Man in the Gofpel, pollefs'd by a Legion of De-
vils ; when one goes out, a hundred return to torment
him. The thought of a Bailiff throws 'em into Fits ;
and the fight of a Creditor, like the Eye of a Balilisk,
ftrikes 'em dead with Apprehenfion: So that they fear
the Light, and like Owls and Bats range in Darknefs and
Obfcurity ; they confine themfelvcs out of Fear of being
confined, and commit themfelves clofe Prifoners to their
Lodgings, not to bemew'd up in a Dungeon. In a word,
they lead the Lives of Criminals, fear every Man, are
fcorn'd by all, and pitied by none ; and too often, in fpite
of Caution, they too took up in a Jail, and there die un-
regarded, like Rats, behind the Hangings.

One Day a young Gentleman gave Eufebius a Vifit. He
was one of thofe who place all their Concerns in this
World, without a regard to the other. An extravagant
Admirer of Life, and yet feem'd to be tired of it. He
lived fo faft, that he out-lived a Year in one Day; and
one would have thought his only Bufinefs was to poll to

his

fhe Gentleman InJlruBed, 45)7

ibis Grave. He had a handfome Eftate, but too fmall for

his Prodigality ; it anfwer'd the Dignity of a Knight, but
his Expences kept Pace with thofe of a Duke j fo that in
a few Years it run upon the Lees, and his Credit funk
with his Fortune. -^ Creditor found him out, and with
Submiffion demanded of his Worfhip the Payment of a
Debt ; but he had been fo often haunted by fuch Spirits,
that he had theknack o^ laying, as well as raifing them.
For he was lavifhing of Promifes, though fparing in the
Performance, and always gave great Hopes, but nevet
Money.

Well, fays Eufebins^ when he had difmifi'd the Manj
may I enquire into the Fellow's Bufmefs, I fuppofe he
forgot his Diftance, and pafs'd the Bounds of Civility ;
for- you feem'd in a ferment, and difrhifs'd him with
Warmth and Expoftulation.

The Rafcal, anfwer'd the Spark, duns me for a Debt
of ten Years ftanding j as if I enter*d his Books only
Yefterday.

Nay, faid Eufebius^ With a fmile, that's infufFerable.
What ? To bail a Gentleman for an old Debt isunhand-
fome, and affronting too. For, what was Paflion given
us, but to let loofe upon fo provoking Occafions? Thofe
kogues fhouldbe muzzled, and bound up to their good
JBehaviour : Belides, the Sum perchance isincbnfiderable. |

A Trifle, reply'd the Gentleman, not above a hun-
dred Pounds, the Price of a Winter and Summer Suit.

My Mind gave me, faid Enfebhti, the Fellow was d
Taylor ; his Gate and Impudence proclaim'd his Profef-
fion. A Varlet without Breeding, without Confcience, or
good Nature^ thus to way-lay a Gentleman; to break iri
upon his Retiremeuit, to (hirk into an Audience; nay, and
come upon fo unwelconic an Errand, argues fmall Refpe(ft
for Quality, and lefs Behaviour. And then, where is
the Rafcal's Ccnfcience to demand a Debt of ten Y'ears
ftanding ? A Taylor's Right wears out with his Merchan-
dize. And when a Gentleman throws ofFhis Cloaths,
he makes over the Obligation of Payment to his ^^Z^^; ^^
Chambre. A Taylor ftiould no more think' of afking a
Debt, than a Gentleman of paying it. But, dear Sir,
Raillery apart. Can time prefcribe againft Juftice ? Mull
a Man forfeit his Right, becaufe you fling up your Inno-
cence ? Or is it a lefs Impudence to rcfufea jull Payment,

K k tb»B

45)S ^he Gentleman Inftm^ecf,

than* to Ibllicititr Believe me, Sir, he is not to blame
who afks his due, but he who compels him. And it's
left becoming to live at free Quarter upon Merchants
and Tradefnien, than to demand Satisfaction for the
Grievance.

Vou remember, I prefume, that't)nce upon a Time, a
Daw ofgreatFamily, but fmall Revenues, had a Month's
Mind to be fine. He was low in Cafh, but flufh of Cre-
dit ; and fo took up on Tick a gaudy Equipage. He
lorded it among his Neighbours j and forgetting his Pe-
digree, pretended Alliance to the Bird of Paradife. But
rn the Height of his Profperity his Creditors attack'dhim ;
and being unable to return either Money or Security,
they ftrip'd him of his Bravery, and turn'd him into the
Woods, ifi pitris naturalibus. And then all thofe Syco-
phants, that fawn'd upon his Fortune, laugh'd at his Fol-
ly, and turn'd Sir Johft Daw into phin Jack; nay, and
threw him among the Roots for his Punifhment.

There needs no Key to the Fable. The Application'
fits on the Surface. Nay, our Sparks have been at the
charge of turning it into real Story, and fo are fad In-
ilances both of the Bird's Pride on the one fide, and
Folly on the other, and though they barter not their Qua-
lity, they are ftrip'd of its Support ; and then they knock
ofl' naked of Ornament, and confequently of regard.
For Nobility, without Cafh, makes but a lean Figure ;
one Ounce of Gold weighs forty Coats of Arms. Tho'
the Blood of a Hero rowls in your Veins, if Chink has
forfaken your Pocket, you muft fliear oft" to Rooks for a
Maintenance ; for Regard rifes and falls by the fecret In-
fluence of Metal.

Pray, Sir, a Paraphrafe if you pleafe, reply*d the Gen-
tleman, on the Parable ; for, I confefs, I am unable to
fee through it, unlefs you intend by a fly Itinuetido to
condemn me to the Trade of Purfe-taking on the King's
Highway. Under Favour, faid Eufehius, it's not my Pro-
vince to fetany Man his Tafk ; but I am a kind of Figure-
flinger, and pretend to tell young Mens Fortunes, not in-
deed by the help of the black Art, but by their own Con-
du(5l. You take upon Truft with both Hands, and pay with
neither ; you wade up to the Chin in Taylor's Books ; you
fink over Head and Ears in Vintners; card away 500/.
in a Night, and fling into a Mifs's Lap 1 000 /. maintain

one

'J^he Gentleman tiiftruBed^ 4p^

one Family in the Country, another in the Town. You
jreceive 2000/. per Annum, and difburfe Five. Now
Where mull this Prodigality end, but in Poverty, Con-
tempt, and Dclpair ? And when a Gentleman is waited
on by three fuch Attendants, he is equip'd for any Prac-
tice. Neceflity is a bad Counfellor, andDeipair a worfej
and I can afTure you, they have fet fome Gentlemen up*
on unwarrantable Enterprizes : For when they have no
Fund to live on, they muft live by their Wits, and then
they are forc'd to caft up their Accounts at Old Baily^s^
and to pay the Reckoning at Hyde-Park Corner.

Young Gentlemen muft live up to their Birth, faid
the Gentleman.

Provided, anfwered Enfeblus, their Purfe runs even
with their Quality. For otherwife Title muft ftoop to
Revenues, and Figure muft (brink to Neceflity. It's ill
Hufbandry to glitter in Equipage, like a Prince, for a
Twelve-monthj and then to fneak into a Corner with a
folitary Lacquey, down at Heels, and out at Elbows ; to
turn off from a Guinea Ordinary to the Bafket, or to
ftand obliged for a Meal, to the Courtefy of Relations all
your Life after. But this is not our Cafe neither. Few
Gentlemen break their Eftates by ftretching them to
their Birth, but beyond it, A Squire will vie Prodiga-
lity with a Lord, and a Knight with a Duke. Now, alas!
how can two Thoufand/'er Annum hold out with Ten ?
It muft jade and founder in a (hort time, and lay its Maf-
ter like a tired Tit in the Mire.

But fijppofe thefe Misfortunes wait not upon you,
where is Confcience ?

Nays reply'd the Gentleman, in good Hands I aflure
you. For certainly, Confcience may be well, though
my Eftate be fick. I may balance Accounts with Godj
though I am behind Hand with my Neighbour.

Not foeafily neither, faid Eii[ebms. For when a Gen-
tleman takes upon Credit^ Confcience enters Bond fof
the Payment ; and if the Eftate cannot anfwer the In-
cumbrance, that will be uneafy; Pray, Sir, continued
Eufebius, is there no fuch Law as, Tboujhalt not fteali

Without doubt, anfwer'd N. N.
, And does this Precept take in, faid Eufebj/iSy only
Pads and Cut-purfes ?

kki It

joo 'fhe Gentleman In jimmied.

It forbids, faid N.N. all ads of Injuftice ; nay, and
reftrains Defires. It's ill even to covet an ill Thing;
and he who defigns to over-reach his Neighbour, tranf-
grefies the Law, as well as he who deceives him.

Your Cafuiftry, reply'd Eufebuis, is found and or-
thodox, but not your Pradice. P^or do you not force
poor Creatures to change their Labour into a continual
Attendance; to faunteraway their Time in an Anti-
Chamher, and then to return home M'ith empty Promi-
fes? Nay, and it's often taken for a Civility not to be
aflionted ; and for Payment in part, not to be deny'd
(with a God damn ye) for the whole. Now when a Cre-
ditor muft be eternally upon the Trol to come up to his
Debtor, and ply at all the Coffee- Houfes for Intelligence
of his Haunts, the Irons cool at Home, Trade links,
Wo;k is at a (land, and a Bankrupt treads upon hia
Heels. For how fhall a Merchant pay his Debts, who
receives none ? Now, Sir, here is lucrnm ceffans on the
one Hand, and damnum emergens on the other, and in
the Sight of God you ftand refponfible for both : They
will be put to your Accounts, and you muft either re-
pair them here, or fuffer for them hereafter.

For God's fake, Sir, faid N. N. who bids thofe Raf-
cals run upon the Hunt, and trace my Motions ; nay,
and break my Head,' with importunate Sollicitations ?
Muft I anfwer for their Folly, and pay for their Extra-
vagance r Let them keep within Doors, and carry on
their Trade, I will not intermeddle in their Concerns.

That is, Sir, reply'd Eufebius^ if they will fit down
with their Lofs, you are fatisfy'd ; if they will take your
Honour for their Security, and crofs Scores for Promifes,
or be content with a Lacquey with a Cudgel for Pay-
mafter, I eafily believe you. If all the Creditors in the
Nation will vouchfafe to burn their Regifters, Spend-
thrifts will be at the Expence of the Execution, and ap-
plaud their Generofity. And if they pleafe to give in
good Security never to importune you with unpleafant
Vifits, you will fecure them of Non-payment.

I fancy you are got into a Vein of Drollery. But the
Mifchief is, with fome People a Jeft improves into an
Argument, and Raillery grows up in to Reafon. But de-
ceive not your felf ; thofe who put off' Payment with
dilatory PretenceSj not only bid their Creditors negle<5t

their

fhe Gentleman Inftru^ed, 50 y

their Trade and Family, but force them : For without
Irnpoftunity nothing is done. They muft beg for their
due, as hard as for an Alms; and fpend more Time in
recovering their Money, than in earning it. Ii'saseafy
to dig the Oar out of the Mines of Poioft, as to impor-
tune a Debt out of the Pocket of a Prodigal.

But if a poor Trade fman by fuch an Injuftice chance
to go down in the World, to fuffer a Seizure of his
Goods, orhisPerfon, you mull Account for the Da-
mages alfo. For you are theCaufeof his Misfortune,
and by confequence muft anfwer for it.

To be plain, faid N. N. my Eftate lies Sick of a
Confumption ; the Dice have prey'd upon its Vitals ;
and Riot has brought it fo low, that I fearic's nowpaft
Recovery. I cannot cancel pall Scores without throw-
ing my felf into a Neceflity of drawing in my Retinue,
or living upon Courtefy. Now either Way expofes my
Reputation to the publick Obloquy, and my Perfon ra-
ther to Raillery than Compaflion. For Misfortune in
our Age is a Jell of it felf, and a little Fooling upon the
Subjecft makes bad Gircumllances infupportable. When a
Coat is Thread-bare, how eafy is it to pick a Hole ?
When a Man can fcarce keep his Head above Water, a
fmall Weight plunges him to the bottom. Though he
may llruggle zgz'm^one Commiuimus^ a Lea fli will cer-
tainly fink him in a Dungeon ; and thefe Furies feldom
appear fingle. I confefs my Inclination leans not towards
the Kwg^s-BeKcb, or the Marjhalfea. I am for a free
Air, and hate to lie at the Mercy of a Turnkey.

It's more eafy, anfwer'd Eufebius^ to commit, than
to excufe an Injuftice. Eftate Difeafes, like thofe of the
Body, muft be cured by a flender Diet. Riot and High-
fare enforce the Fever, enflame the Blood, and breed ill
Humours. And I have known fome Eftates brought back
from the laft Agony to a perfedl State of Health and Vi-
gour, by a (hort Pittance of Barley-Broth. I perfuade
you to make a Trial of the Recipe^ enter into a Courfe
of Phyfick. But then, as you hope for Benefit, come
not within the Smoak of the Town ; the Remedy requires
thefrefli Airof the Campaign, Retirement and Solitude.
To fpeak plain, retrench Expences, difmifs Equipages,
reform Attendants, referve one fourth Part of your Re-
venues for Subfiftence, and three for Creditors. Five

K k 3 hundred

50^ ^The Gentleman InJiraBed,

hundred /(er Annum well managed, will go farther than
two thoufand ill. And altho- the Sum anlwcrs not the
Extravagances of a Town Debauchee, it will keep touch
with the Occalion of a fober Gentleman. For I can af-
fureyou, Birth is notfo expenlive as Prodigality; Gra-
vity of Behaviour and Moderation fet it off, and give it
a finer Luftre than all the coftly Trappings of Pomp,
Equipage, and Riot.

But People will laugh, if you fhrink your Figure, pack
up for the Country, and Hint Expences? Suppofe they
do; to ftifle their Mirth, will you pawn an Eftate? And
play the Fool to buy off their.Fooling? Will you rather
ftand their Scorn than their Merriment ? And be defpi-
fed in Poverty, than rally'd in a comfortable Fortune?
Retrieve your Eftate, and Credit will rife in Proportion ;
he never wants Regard, who is ftock'd with Money; nor
he Contempt, who is unfurnifh'd.

Sparing and Parfimony lead not to Newgate^ or the
JitMg*i-Bench\ but Prodigality, Gaming, Wine, and
Miilcs: Creditors will bear more Years with Men, who
take lure Meafures to pay their Debts, than Days with
thofe who increafe them.

But methinks Confcience and Duty fliould take place
of all temporal Views. A Chriftian that believes there:
is a Hell to punifh Injuftice, {hould not make himfelf
miferable beyond Redemption, upon a groundlefs Forfei-
ture of Reputation. For on my Word, dear Sir, Credit
in the next World is no Protection ; when once Injuftice
has plunged you into Flames, the Reputation oi Alexan-
der will not bail yqu.

Now, as I faid before, it's a heavy Injuftice to pay
Merchants only with empty Promifes, and yet more
heavy to return for Ware, Curfes, and Imprecations.
For to be free with you, Sir, Gentlemen that difcharge
their Debts with fuch adulterate Coin, enhance the reck-
oning, and commence Thieves and Robbers. Indeed
they play not at fmall Game upon the King's Highway,
nor take aPurfe with a Piftol in their Hand, anda£)aw»
ye deliver in their Mouths. They have more concern
for their Skin, than to embark in an Enterprize that
leads to a Halter. But, however, tho' they endanger not
their Necks, they ftab their Confcience ; and if they
ftand clear of the Infamy of Padding, they avoid not the

Gv'.Ut.

^he Gentleman InftruBed. jo 3 ■

Guilt. For to refufe Payment is no Icfs an Injuftice be-
fore God, than to plunder on the Highway.

God forbid I fhould refufe Payment, faid N. N. But
alas, I am in no Condition. My Debts run high, and
my Eftate low ; Taxes fweep away one part, my Family
another ; and when prefent Expences exceed Receipts,
how fliall I crofsout thepaft?

Under favour, faid Eufebius^ you refufe by your
Condu6l, though not by your Words, and that is more
fignificant, nor lefs criminal. You rattle in a Coach
and Six ; glitter in Embroidery ; hedtor in Taverns, and
ileep upon the Dice. You take up at Intereft, and yet
pay none. Is not this the ftraight way to beggar your
felf firft, and then all you deal with ? For is not fuch a
Mifmanagement the High-road to Beggary ; and confe-
'i^uently does it not lead you into an Impoffibility of pay-
ing ? If you refufe not Payment, apply due Means, lef-
fen Charges, and ftint Prodigality to meer NecelTaries :
This is your Intereft as well as Duty. And it no lefs
concerns your Eftate than your Soul. For in a Word, I
muft repeat it, without Reparation of Damages, there is
no Salvation. Who wilfully leaves this World in Debt,
muft pay it in the other ; and tho' he eludes the Profe-
■cution of Creditors here, he cannot avoid the Juftice of
the Almighty hereafter.

The Gentleman heard goodCounfel, and was within
an Ace of following it. He faw his Eftate lie at Stake,
•together with his Soul, and that he ported on to Beggary
and Damnation. He confefs'd Eufebius''s Advice was
the moft fecure, tho' the lefs palatable; and good Huf-
bandry might retrieve his finking Fortune, and furnifti
Supplies for Ufe and Payment. But on a fudden, for-
footh, he would turn Politician, and play'd the Fool out
of a Principle of Wifdom. The Matter calls, faid he,
for Deliberation and Thought ; Repentance treads^n the
Heels of quick Refolutions; pray give me leave to paufe
before I leap from one Extream to the other.

He took Leave o^Eufebius^ and pofted to Town, and
with the fame Speed to his Ruin. For here Prodigality
began his Misfortune, and illCounfel compleated it. He
fubpcena'd a J«»c?o;ofdefperate Debauchees to his Lodg-
ings ; he open'd the State of his Concerns, and the Advice
of Eufebius, But he might as well have flown for Sanc-

K k 4 tuary

S

504 The Gentleman Inftnio^ed,

tuary into a Den of AJfaJJins^ or fecui'd his Purfe in t!ie
Hands of a Highwayman, or learn'd the Way to Para-
dife from the Devil himfelf, as expeft whollbme Advice
from thofe who follow the worlt, and place Interell be-
fore Confcience. Thefe Harfia had given a, helping
Hand to the Gentleman's Miofortune, and thruft him
blindfold upon the Brink of the Precipice. They gain'd
by his Lollys, and drain'd his Purfe at Play to fill their
own J fo that to counfel Parfimony, was to plead againft
themfelves, and dam up the Channel that fupplied their
Debaucheries with Nourifliment.

What Wonder therefore their Advice was as contrary
to £»/e^/aj's, as their Defigns? Defperate Remedies, fay
they, are only to be apply'd in defperate Difeafes. Who
will lop olfan Arm or a Leg for a Pimple? Or drink
JInUmony for a Tertian ? When there is no Cure, fome-
thing may be ventur'd ; but when there is no Danger,
take not a Bowl of Ratsbane for a Prefervative. Your
Ellate, Sir, isencumber'd, but not fpent ; it runs low,
but I fuppofe Merchant's Regiftersare not like ?nchaHt-
ed Circles, when once you are in, there is no ftepping
out. One lucky Chance at Dice will refcue all, and
make Scores even. Fortune has indeed frown*d upon
you, fhe will begin to fmile. She is a Female, fond of
Change, unaccuftomM to Conftancy; and when fhe hr^s
thrown off her Spleen and Ill-nature, (heover-fetsa Man
with Kindnef^and Courtfhip. T. IV. was brought to a
folitary Guinea ; but then good Luck veer'd about into
the right Corner, and this fingle Piece fetch'd back twen-
ty Thoufand ; fo that he had never foar'd fo high, had
li3 not fell fo low, nor efcap'd his Ruin, had he not come
io near it.

This Remedy was indeed more dangerous than the
Difeafe, and as mort;il toEllate-diftempers, as Poifon to
thofe of the Body. However, they ftole upon his blind
Side; fothat he furrenderM not only vvithout Refiftance,
but even with Pleafure and Tranfport. Gaming was his
predominant Paflion, and this ealily reconcil'd his Pa-
late to the Prefcription j nay, and turn'd the Medicine
into a Regale. You have nick'd, faid he, the Point.
He that cures dLsjoivited Eftates by Recreation, and con-
feys Health thro' Pleafure, is a Surgeon in good earned.
He falls then to Gaming ; but, alas, cQgg'd Dice wcce
■ ■ too

The Gentleman Infru^ed, 505

too hard for good Luck ; and Fortune, that turn'd tail
before, now jquite deferted him. His Bags droop'd, and
his Credit hung the Wings ; his Money was flown^ and
though his Lands changed not their place, they went over
to othej" Landlords. All his Companions, like Rats in a
Storm, abandon'd the finking Veilel, and he found hinifelf
in a Jail, before he dream'd of a Bailiff. Here this un-
fortunate Gentleman fees his pall trrors, but no way
to correct 'em. Loft Grace may be recover'd by Tears,
but not Eftates. We may weep our felves into Heaven,
not into a Fortune, nor- out of Confinement. Hemea-
fures a great Length, that vaults from abundance into
Poverty. The fall dafhes in pieces not only the profpeft,
but the very hope of a return. Nothing rem<ains but the
fenfe of the prefent Calamity, and the remembrance of a
paft Felicity. So that, like the damn'd, they are tor-
mented with the Pain of Lofs, as well as with that of
Senfe; and the Ghoft of their darling Pleafures, revive
meerly to perform the Office of Executioners. But did
thefe poor Gentlemen underftand this obvious Piece of
Chymiftry, to'tranfmute Neceffity into Virtue, to bear
with refignation to Providence, the Misfortune, Folly, and
Sin have dfawn upon them, I would pronounce them
happy in their Misfortune ; but, alas, they rather rage
than repent, deplore their Reftraint without dropping
one Tear for their Debauches, the caufe of it ; and fo in
the end they ftep from one Dungeon to a worfe, from a
temporal Confinement, to an eternal one. This is the
end of thofe who receive Favours without Thankfgiving,
and Punifhment without Humiliation j that neither praife
God for his Mercies, nor pray to him under his Judg-
{nents.

How Eufebius behaved himfelfto his Domejlich.

Tho' Eufebius retired from the Town, he intended not
to turn Hermit^ not to disband from Society and Con-
verfation. He was no publick Enemy, like Timon to his
Species, nor a Friend to Sournefs and Ill-nature. He
knew the Life of a Chriftian might ftand with that of a
Gentleman ; that he might comply with all the Duties
of Religion, without ftepping below his Station. He
therefore kept up an Equipage, rather genteel than great ;

it

50(5 The Gentleman Injlmf^ed,

it anfwer'd his Quality, and was proportion'd to hisRcr
venues. So that he neither incumbeVd his Eftate with
unfeafonable Expences, nor better'd it by a fordid Par-
fimony. He was content with his prefent Fortune, and
neither delired to be greater, nor fear'd much to be lefs.
For indeed he was too low for Envy, and yet too high
for Contempt.

I.
He rather behav'd himfelf to his menial Servants like
a Father than a Mafter ; and always treated 'em as free-
born Subjedls, not Slaves. He could not endure the Con-
duit of thofe Gentlemen, who (hew lefs concern for
a poor Domellick, than a Beaft of Burthen, and let him '
live a Brute without Religion or Inftrudion, fo he car-
ries on their Bufinefs, and works himfelf down to fupport
their Riot. He was fenfible the difference even between
a Prince and a Peafant lies in Fortune, not in Nature ;
that their Pretenfions in the next World are equal ; and
that even in this, a Slave in the Sight of God thatprafti-
fes Virtue, is more noble than an Emperor over-grown
with Sin. He thought therefore himfelf obliged in Duty
and Confcience to take care of their Souls, as well as of
their Bodies; to allow Inttruftions as well as Food, and
to accompany their Wages with an Addition of good
Counfel.

For this purpofe he entertain'd a Chaplain, whofe Bufi-
nefs was only to inftru6t the Family, to inftil the Princi-
ples of Chriftianity into the Hearts of his Domefticks ;
to train them up in Virtue, withdraw 'em from Vice, and
to bring 'em into Acquaintance with their Duty ; which
is feldom known, and more feldom pradtifed by thisfer-
vile Rank of Men. What Religion are you of, faid a Lady
of my Acquaintance to her Maid ? Religion, forfoothy
anfwer'd the poor Creature, is for Gentlefolks. She
fuppofed Drudgery was the End of her Creation; that
Expedtation of future Happinefs lay out of her Way.
And thus Ihe liv'd in Chrijlendom like a Barbarian in the
Wilds of /fw^rfV<?, without Hope of a future Reward, or
-Fear of Funifhment. Hence Gentlemen*s Families ferve
too often for Nurferies to Newgate, and the Stews. For
their Dependants being brought up in Idlenefs on the one
Hand, and Licenlioufncfs on the other, when difmifs'd,

they

i

fke Gentleman InftruM, 50 7

they know not where to retire ; And fo the Maids live
Proftitutes, and the Men die Thieves and Robbers.
Whereas did they train up their Domeflicks in Chriftian
Principles, and inure them To the Practice, they would
prove more ufeful even to the Management of their tem-
poral Concerns, and lefs burthenfome to tlie State.

For certainly a Man that has no Principle of Religion,
has lels of Morality. Few People are juft, that have no
Reafon to be fo, and many Invitations to Treachery and
Deceit. With what Security therefore can a Mafter em-
ploy thofe in Bufmefs, who only change the Difcovery
of a Theft with the Sin, and vary the Fa6l, like thc^La-
(edemonians, into a Virtue ? Alas, Infidelky will baffle
Caution, and over- reaching will beat out more Plots, than
an Argus can difcover. Who has a Confcience needs no
Spies, and who has none will out- wit a hundred.

3-

Eufebius would never admit a Debauchee into his Ser-
vice. He thought no Man would be faithful to his Ma-
fter, who was a Traitor to his God ; much lefs careful
of another's Concerns, who was forgetful of his own. Be-
lides. Vice is difFulive, and fpreads by Commerce like the
Plague. One wicked Perfon throws the Contagion a-
mong a thoufand, and it's odds fome will take it up;
and when once it gains upon a Family, it feldom flops,
till thelnfedtion becomes epidemical, and the Dillemper
incurable. So that he always examin'd more narrowly
a Servant's Behaviour than his Abilities ; and oftentimes
a good Life atoned for unexperience. Clumfinefs, faid
he, may be polifli'd by civil Converfation, and Skill may
be improved by Pradlice, but vitious Habits feldom wear
off: They are too ftubborn for Inftrudlion, and Proof
to Homily, and good Counfel.

4.
When he was forc'd to reprehend, he avoided Heat,
and never flew out into Strains of Indecency. He knew
that Anger was ungovernable and clamorous; and as
unfit to give, as to take Advice. It drowns Reafon by
Noife and Tumult, and feldom pronounces a juft Sentence,
but when it intends an unjuft one: It throws a Man off
his Guard, and even below his Dignity, and betrays thofe
Weaknefl'es we Ihould blufh to own upon the Torture.
Hence he ufed to fay, that a cholerick Corredtion was

feldom

joS The Gentleman InfiruBeL

feldom well taken ; that it rather irritated, than heal'd;
-and ftruck out Relentment, not Sorrow. Wherefore his
Words were as mild as his Countenance; and the Sedate-
nelsofliis Geilure anfwer'd the Swectnefsof his Language.
Nothing opprobtious pafs'd his Lips, nothing tempeftu-
ous, nothing unbcieeming the Mouth of a Gentleman,
or the Ears of a Chriftian. In fine, his Reprimands tailed
always ftronger of Honey than of Gall ; and they were
receiv'd by fome with Repentance, by all with Patience,
and by none with Indignation.

Some Gentlemen of his Acquaintance took the liberty
to tell him, that his Mildnefs would foon meet with Con-
tempt, and his Affability with Scorn; that thefe under-
rate Mortals are as incapable to be moved by Kindnefs,
as to practice it ; that a Cane mends more Faults in a
Qi^iarter, than dogmatizing in a Twelve-mouth ; and that
nothing afFeds their Will, but what lies heavy upon their
Senfe. But thofe Sparks talk juft as they aded, and
only difapprov'd Euj'eb'mi's Method by commending their
own. However, an Ljnlucky Accident admonifli'd one of
thefe Cenfors of his Miftake, and convinced him ad bo-
minem^ that Roughnefs is not always in Seafon, and that
Blows rather provoke, than awe an inferior, and fooner
Hir up Difobedience than RefpeiSl.

By chance poor Dick reaching the Oil to his Mafter,
liquor'd his Wig, and the Over-fight fpread to the Borders
of a new ^\x\ia.4a-mode. The poor Fellow fufFer'd the
Rack in the very Accident, and expired the Guilt of the
Offence in the very Commiflion : But \\\Q.Squtre^ who was
extreamly fmitten with Drapery,and rated the Ornaments
of his Back, above all the Embellifhments of his Brain,
broke out into all the Indecencies of Language and Ge-
ilure. He firll damned poor Dtck to the l:*it of Hell ;
then Son-of a-whor'd him to all Intents and Purpofes ;
mid, in fine, bedaub'd him with all the unbefeeming
Tropes of Bilimfgate and the Bear-garden. The very
Knowledge of fuch mean ftuft"mif-befeems a Gentleman j
but tlie fpcaking it degrades him, recalls his Patent, and
breaks hi.' Efcutcheon, Dick begg'd his Pardon, but Rage
got the afcendant over Monfieur's Reafon, and Fury
would not hearken to any Articles of Accommodation.
The Spark flew from the Table, the Oil had fired the
Brain, and purfued Dick with a Cane in his Hand, and
' ■ , Oaths

7%e Gentle Ti4 AN InJfruBed, ^op

Oaths in his Mouth : The poor Wretch would have
compounded for a Limb ; but when he faw noway open
for a Retreat, he fac'd about: The Cane had beat out all
Refpedt, and Sclf-prefervation took place of Duty and
Obedience. He returned with Ulury the Blows he had
received. In fine, the Man mafter'd the Mafter ; and
plain Dick over-top'd Kighe li^orpipjul. The Company
Itep'd in between \ fome ftared^ and others rail'd, and
all laugh'd at the Comedy. After Dinner, Eufehius took
the Gentleman alide, and minded him of his Extrava-
gance.

I fuppofe. Sir, faid he, you have drop'd your for-
mer Opinion. That an high Hand, and an imperious
Brow, keep Servants to their Duty. The belt way to per-
fuade them to obey with Refpedt, is to command with
Moderation. Judge firft of Faults before you punifh
them, and never fwell a Fly into an Elephant. You muft
wink at forac Offences, laugh at others, and chaftife all
with Calmnefs and Charity : Put a difference between a
Chance and a deliberate Adlion. Treat not an innocent
Over-fight, and a malicious Treafon with the fame Seve-
rity : Proportion the Pain to the Fault ; and fo when the
Offence is trivial, take care the Punifhment be not exor-
bitant. When a Servant deferves a Cane, it's time to
difmifs him ; and it's more honourable to turn him off,
than to Hoop to the Function of a Town Beadle. In a
Word, Sir, remember, that to engage with an Equal is
dangerous, with a Superior foolifh, and with an Inferi-
or contemptible.

Eufel/ius's Conduft won all his Domefticks ; not only
their Hands, but alfo their Hearts lay at his Devotion :
They carry'd on his Intereft with as much Eagernefs, as
if they promoted their own : They refpedled him as a
Mafter, and loved him as an indulgent Father. And
the fear of difpleafing him kept them more within the
compafs of their Duty, than the apprehenfion of Punifh-
ment; and they rather defir'd to feel his Anger, than to
deferve it.

6.

Swearing and Blafpheming are comprehenfive Vices;
and if Cuftom had the fecret of Tranfmutation, like
Chymifts, they would challenge a place among the Vir-
tues.

510 fhe Gentleman Injiru^ect,

tues. Chriftians who are forbid to fwear by any things
aflume liberty of fwearing by all things : One would
think the Breach of the Precept, was the only defign they
aim'd at ; and Difobedience to God's Commands, their
only Diverlion. Gentlemen, without doubt, firft brought
this hellifh Dialedl into Faftiion, and Servants who are
their Betters, have improv'd it.

Great Gentlemen's Families have laid down the Lan-
guage of their Country, to take up that of the damn'd ;
and it's hard to determine, whether thofe Mailers, who
permit fuch hideous Expreffions, are more guilty than
thofe who fpeak them.

Eufebius could not endure this execrable Jargon. It
four'd his Blood, and made his Hearing a Burthen.- A
thoufand good Qualities in a Servant, made no Atone-
ment, in his Opinion, for this only bad one ; and though
he pitied thofe Failures, that favour'd of Weaknefs, he
never gave quarter toblafpheming: Others Vices^ faid he^
make buld vjith God^s Commands^ this out-rages his very
Perj'on ; is adds Infult to Difobedience^ and Contempt to
Abtij'e : It's a Symptom of no Religion. For who will revile
the very Being he adores ? Or rally and worjhip the fame
Objed ? And then what RefpeB can a Mafter exped frovn
him that turns upon his Creator^ and flies in the Face of the
Omnipotent ^ In fine, continued he, they are Nufances to
human Nature, and deferve rather to be profecuted as
publick Enemies to our Species, than to be entertain'd as
Domefticks. He endeavour'd to reclaim them by Re-
proof and Exhortation ; but when he faw no Amend-
ment, he difmifs'd *em without delay. No Interceflion of
Friends, or Profped: of Intereft, could perfuade him to
harbour thefe declar'd Enemies of the Almighty. They
affront the virtuous, debauch the unwary, and are both
a Scandal and Grievance to the Family they hve in. Re-
bels C5 God fhould be barr'd of Protedlion, no lefs than
Tnaitors to their Prince. To receive the guilty, is to
countenance their Crime, as really in one Cafe as in the
other.

Had Gentlemen a due regatd for the Honour of God,
id efi^ were they Chriftians in good earneft, thcfei
wretched Liberties of their Servants would ftop their
Blood, and make them fweat with a Difguftand Horrour ;
they would difcard thefe puny Giants who dare defy the

Omni-

The Gentleman InJiruM. 51 1

Omnipotent, and invoke his Name to burlefque his Juf-
tice ; they would clear their Families of all thefe Rakes
that infed the Air they breathe, and the Earth they walk
on : That by a ftrange Metamorphofe, turn the Dwel-
lings of Men into the Habitation of Devils ; and the
Torments of the damned into the Diverfion of the Living :
For I can allure you, Gentlemens Houfes are too of-
ten a lively Pifture of Hell j there you will fee all the
Lewdnefs of Hell, and here all the Language of that
curfed Region, with only this difference, that thofe un-
happy Creatures below blafpheme God, of whom they
hopenoAfecy, and thefe above lampoon him, of whom
they expeft Pardon. Nay, here are Devils alfo ; not in-
deed by Nature, but Pradlice, and almoll every thing be-
fides Brimftone and Defpair. Would Gentlemen reform
this unbefeeming Dialed, Servants would call it off; but
when it is fpoke in the Parlour, it's taken up in the
Kitchen, it walks into the Stables, and fteals into all the
fervile Offices of the Houfe. For Servants wear their
Mailer's Vices, as well as their Livery, and copy their
A6lions,to purchafe their Favour: In that, curling, fwear-
ing, and indeed all Vice is degrading ; but when it gets
into great Houfes, when Nobility abets it, and Quality
gives it Countenance and Entertainment, it changes Com-
plexion, and becomes modifh and creditable. And this
is the reafon Imprecations and Oaths are fo far frequent
among us ; for an innocent Over- light, we fend a Servant
to the Devil, and call down upon him all the Difeafes,
all the Plagues of this World, and the next. Oaths are •
us'd by all Perfons, and to compleat the Impiety on all
Occafions, we court and quarrel in this Language: We
exprefs our Kindnefs and Averfion,ourJoy and our Grief
in the fame Terms. Succefs is waited on by Oaths, as
well as Difappointments ; and they fet off Temper as
well as Paffion. In fine, they run through all our Dif-
courfe ; they ftand up in the room of Senfe ; and one
would think we were furnifli'd with no other Rhetorick
or Reafon, His Care wrought good Effeds in the Fami-
ly, and his Example better ; fwearing was an unknown
Language, as well as Ribaldry j and all thofe Vices which
Jiover about great Mens Palaces found no Entertainment,
no Admittance in his. When there arofe any Conteft be-
tween his Domefticks, he took Cognizance of it himfelf,

and

512 ne Gentleman InflruShd,

and compos'd all Differences with the Equity of a Judge,
and the Charity of a Father. No Body refus'd to ftand
to his Arbitration, becaufelhey were fure Partiality would
have no Hand in the Judgment ; but that unbiafs'd either
by Averfion or Kindnefs, he examin'd the Caufe without
taking Notice of the Perfons. And indeed his Conduft
fpread fuch a Reputation abroad of his Equity and Wif-
dom, that his Neighbours put their Concerns inhisHands^
and rather appeal'd to his Arbitration, than to the Law,
that enriches indeed the Lawyer, but beggars the Plain-
tiff; who often gains the Suit, but lofes his Eftate.

This Piece of Charity rais'd an unexpedfed Enemy,
whoattack'd Eufeblus with Might and Main. The Story
deferves a Relation. It will delight and inftrudl, and fa
convey Profit through Pleafure.

P II I L A R G y R u s's CharaEler.

Phllargyrus (for fo I muft chriften the Gentleman)
was born to a low Fortune, \^R.afcal in Torkjhire was the
Place of his Birth,] and the Denomination jump'd with
his Perfon. He only inherited the common Benefits of
Mankind ; the Earth to walk on, the Air to breathe, and
all the Rivers of the World to drink : Being leanly pro-
vided by Nature, he refolv'd to fet up for himfelf ; and
though he wanted Materials, he was not ill-furnifli'd of
Refolution : He had no mind to wander upon the Com-
mon: Poverty feem'd to him unfaihionable. Dependence
hung eafy, and he thought Courtefy an uncertain Re-
venue. He had receiv'd of Nature a lively Wit, and of
Education a weak Confcience ; he improved that by
Study, and wore out this by Practice ; fo that at laft he
turn'd it out of Service, or left it for a Pawn with a Bro-
ker: For Confcience and Lawyers are not to be recon-
ciled ; they can fcarcc be brought to lodge under the
fame Roof, but never to lie in the fame Bed. Money
was his PalRon ; and if he could fecure the End, he ne-
• ver bogled at the Means. He charg'd through all the
Niceties of Morality, and fcorn'd to flop at hard Names
invented by ScliOolmen, and fear'd by Fools. Honour,
faid he, and Confcience are pretty Things eiiough ; they
jingle upon rtie Ear, but not in the Pocket ; they
are Orthodox in Speculation, but Heretical in Life

and

The Gentleman Injlru^ed: 513

and Commerce. A Man that intends to thrive muft no^
iteerby foreign Opinion, nor ftartle at a Set of forma^
Notions, that cramp Merit, pall the Spirits, and confine
Adlivity to a fmall Gompafs : Thefe Principles took otf
Reftraint, made room for vigorous Efforts, removed the
Difficulties of Bufinefs, and pointed out a fhort cut to Ex-
pedition and Succefs: For a Man that has difchargM
Confcience, laid open the Inclofures of Good and Evil,
thrown off the Incumbrances of Right and Wrong, and
melted down Juft and Unjuft into the fame Mafs; that
regards Generofity as Farce and Ceremony, Piety as
childifli Softnefs, and Honefty as a Check to Indurtry;
that haggles away his Credit for Six-pence, and his Soul
for a Shilling, has Line enough to fport his Net in, and
Elbow-room more than enough for Invention.

We muft not therefore wonder a Man thusequipp'd
for Advancement meets with Succefs ; for Fortune and
no Confcience are generally on the fame Side ; and tho'
fometimes fhe dotes on young Men, (lie often flings her
Favours upon Reprobates. He was by Conftitution one
Fourth of a Rafcal, ?'. e. Scrivener and Solicitor ; and,
to be Cheat all over, he corrimenced Attorney. So that
this one Alan pofleft all the ill Qualities of the Species,
■without the Allay of a good one ; he was Scrivener on
the oine Side, Soluitor on the other, and Monfter in ev»-
ry Limb.

He had glean'd up all the little Artifices of his Profef-
fion, and augmented the Number by a frefh Supply of his
own Invention ; for he was fenfible Time and Ufe wear
out Intrigues, aswellasCloaths; and that the GentlemiCn
of the Robe muft recruit their Forces, no lefs than thofeof
the Sword ; that a Legerdemain once difcover'd, like a
maimed Soldier, is unfit for Service. In a Word, his In-
clinations Vv'ere ungenerous, his Pradtlce unwarrantable ;
he lay below thePaflion of Love, and flew above that of
Gompaflion ; he broke through all the Barriers of Blood,
through all the Regards of Honour^ atid Principles of
Humanity. And indeed, ,what Virtue can take hold of
a Rake, whenlntercft comes in Competition?

There are Lawyers of Fortune as well as Soldiers >
and as thefe will fight on any Side for P.ny, thofe wiil
plead on any for a Fee. arid often on both. Philar^^yrtts was
of this Temper; he examin'd his Client's Purfe- before

LI 'he

514 ^^^ Gentleman Injiru^ed,

heenter'dintothe Merits of the Caufe, and always pro*
nounced the Suit juft, if the Man was wealthy; but
where there was no Money ^ there was never any Tttle ;
Gold zn') Right went Hand in Hand, and /-/ro»^ perpe-
tually waited upon Poverty. He play'd firft his Tricks
of Legerdemain in Town ; he wneedled People into his
Snares, anddecoy'd them into their Ruin. But Time laid
open the Impofture, and unmafk'd his Artifice; fo that
at length, like frighted Birds, the Citizens grew wild ;
they took Wing at his very Shadow, and he could never
come within Shot. And what wonder that Reafon {hould
teach Cautio-n, as v^^ell as Inftinft ; and ill Ulage clap
Men on their Cauard, as Vv'cll as Beail.

He changes therefore his Camp, and wheels oft' into
the Country to forage ,the Peafant, as he hadgull'd the
Merchant ; he i? arm'd cap-a-pee with Codes and Pau-
deds, Sifttufesand Reports. But in a 7a« of Law, there
was not one Grain of Juftice ; he left this in Town, to-
gether with his Ears to fave Expences, toinlinuate, that
People fhould not wonder if he was deaf to the Com-
plaints of Widows and Orphans, feeing he had loll the
Faculty of Hearing.

He found the good People in a neighbourly Corre-
fpondence employ'd in Tillage; they had no Leilure to
think of Feuds, nor Mind to ftart Quarrels ; they carried
on their own Bufinefs, without entering into the Concerns
of others, and enjoy'd their own, without the troublefome
Thoughts of Fear or Envy. No fooner was he fettled
among them, but the Scene changed. Thefe Boors began
to talk of Law and Encroachments ; of Forfeitures and
Seizures ; fo that the Difeafe that raged in Hudihras^s
Days feized upon the Clowns of Middlefex and Surrey.

When civil Dungeon firjl grew high.
And Men fell out, they knew not why :
IVhen hard Words., ^Jealoufies., and,Fears,
Sets Folks together by the Ears.

The Furies feemed to have left Hell to haunt the
World, and forfaken the Damned to plague the Livings
They tranfplanted the Glhhendi o( WeJlmin/ler-Hall into
the Country, • Tomznd Dickhid down the How goes the
Market^ to talk of Statutes, Precedents, Reports, Writs
of Error, Reverfe of Judgment, &c. One would have

thought

ne Gentleman Injru^ed, 515

thought the Jargon of the Bar had out-Iawed the Tongue
of the Country; and fomc, that the /V^w^-^ King fhip'd
for E»g/aft Jhis Norman Language, to open a Paffagefor
his Arms. There was Adlion uponAdtion: The Son
iued the Father for an Allowance ; The Wife fet upon
theHufband for a feparate Maintenance: One Mortga-
ged his Tenement to recover Damages ; another pleaded
away loo I. per Annum^ to chop at tive ; and in the End
People bought Law, and P/yilargyr us fwept away all their
Money; fo that he out- ran the very Lawyer in the Fable;
for this only fupped theOyfter, but-our Attorney pocket-
ed the very Shell into the Bargain : He flip'd into their
Livings, when he had privateer'd upon their Purfe. For
even thofe who gain'd their Suit, loft their Capital, to quit
his Bill of Charges.

It's ftrangeaChriflian could intend fuch Mifchief, and
yet more, that one Pettifogger could adt it. But the
Truth Is, the Lawyer was too hard for the Chriftian ; the
Profeflion got the better of Religion. Belides, tho' his
Forehead was double gilL with Brafs, his Tongue was
fteepedin Oil; he was Mafter of his Words, and, what
is more, of his Confcience; a Flatterer in Folio, and no
Man better fkill'd in the Art of moving the Paffions; he
could tranfmute Phlegm into Choler; and then, by a turn
of the Tongue, harangue down the Hurricanintoa Calm;
he had a hundred Precedents at a dead-lift, and could
throw over a bad Caufe, all the Varnifh of a good one •
In a Word, he was an errand Lawyer, (/W eji) all Paint,
allPlaifter; Honeft without, and Knave within.

Tour Caufe is good, faid he to IVilliam, give me my Fee^
and Vll dejend it. Now the poor Fellow had no more
Right than to the Empire oi China. At the Trial a Verdidlt
palles againft him. If'^oere are vje now, Mr. Attorney,
cx\ts IV 1 1 Ham} My Fee, anfwers Philargyru!, Vll move
the Court in arrefi of judgment. But Sentence is confirm'dj
and IViWs, Hopes fink with his Purfe. M-^e are lofl, fays
the poor Man, Not yet, anfwers Mr. Attorney, my Fee^
and P II bring a Writ of Error. But here again Judg^
ment is confirmiCd, and IVHTs condemn'd to Cofts and
Charges. What now, good Sir I fays William, v/ith a
doleful Accent. 'There is no more to be faid, replies fvla-
fter Attorney, with a Shrug, pay the Knave bis Money i
«nd I amfatisfied.

51(5 The Gentleman Injiru^ed,

So Lawyers^ left the Bear Defendant,
/Jnd Plaintiff Dog pould make an end on^t j
Do Jlave and toil with IFrits of Error^
Reierfe ofjudgments and Demurrer,
To Ut 't-w breathe a while ^ and then
Hoop, a»dfo fets ''era on again.

The DefenJu-'it went away with one Partof ^-7/^5
Livelihood, the Attorney with the other; fo that the Law
ftrip'd him to the Skin, and turn'd him on the Parifli
without Support, and what is worfe, without Piiy.
The poor Alan complainVi he was heggar'd by the Law j
hut he mifplac'd hisiMisfurtunc, and laid it at the wrong
Door. I'or as a Mats of peccant Humours makes indeed
a Man lick, and the Phylician kills him ; Jo Avarice and
Contention embroil an Eftate, but the Lawyers ruin it ;
and as no Man dies of a Fever, Plague, ^c. but of the
Dod^or ; fo ro Man is deprived of his Living by the Law,
but the Lavv?yer.

However, Experience has an excellent Knack at in-
ftrucling ; it polifhes the mod unhew'd Underrtanding,
and inftills Wifdoni into Fools : It often, indeed, raifes
upon its Chapmen at Difcretion, and rates Prudence
above the common Standard of the Market. Notwrth-
itandingthe Ware keeps fome Proportion with the Price,
and its Goodnefs atones for the Dearnefs. The good
People were now fatisfied. Attornies give not their La-
bours Gratis ; that they compofe Differences, as the Wolf
parted the Dogs in the Fable, by devouring the Conten-
ders, and thev concluded, that Beggary from the Hands
of an Attorney was worle complexioned, than from thofe
of a Neighbour ; that their Tongues were as infe(f\ious as
the Teeth of a Crocodile, Ouod dentibui laceravit nun-
quam fanattir \ with this only Difference, that this Ser-
pent bites to Death, and thofe footh, fawn, and flatter in-
to Poverty and Indigency.

They refolv'd therefore to compofe their Differences,
i^'Ccitx a V amiable.^ than at the Bar, and ftand to the Arbi-
rration o'iEufebins, than to lay their Concerns at the Mer-
cy of Philargyrtis ; his Virtue gave in Security for his Up-
rightnefs, and his Abilities qualified him for the Poll of
a;n Umpire, fo that they were fure his Sentence would
not clafh with his Judgment, nor probably with Juftice.

He

fhe Gentleman Injfru^ed. j i y

He knew a Beatitude is the Reward of a Peace-maker,
3nd embraced the Trouble of this charitable Underta-
king, to purchafe the Virtue. For why, f^.ys he, fnall
Charity be lefs couragious than Intereft ? Or court Eaie
more than Avarice? If Men put themfelves on the
Wheel for Money in Hand, and Hell in Reverfion ; if
they rack their Brain, and torture Confcience, to fence
againft Poverty, or to rear up a petty Fortune upon the
Ruins of Honour and Humanity, why Ihall Chriftians
upon an Apprehenfion of Trouble, dechne a Duty that
is noble and generous, pleafing to God, and glorious in
the very Eftimate of Men ?

His Houfe was always open to the Neighbourhood,
and he was always at Leifure to hear their Grievances,
and ready to redrefs them ; his Abode was eafy and in-
viting; his Behaviour without Stiffnefs, or Formality j
for he thought to be great was not to be ftarch'd and fu-
percilious ; as headled .without Intereft, fo hepronounc'd
without Favour; he regarded the Caufe without taking
any Notice of the Perfon : Noife could not biafs him,
nor Numbers fright him, nor Intereft draw him into any
Injuftice; he durft appear for injured Right, notwith-
ftanding the Authority of the Oppofer, and he equally
fcorn'd to trample upon a Beggar, and to fneak to a
Prince ; and all were fo prepofl'efs'd with the Opinion of
his Integrity, that even thofe who loft the Suit, rather
blamed their Title, than his Judgmerit.

In the mean \\mc Phllargyrus was without Bufinefs ;
his Trade flagg'd, Cuftoms fell oft", and his Rents came
in but flowly ; thofe Streams that fed his Pockets were
dammed up, or run in another Channel ; fo that his
good Fortune was at a ftand : Lucre ebb'd, and Curfes
Bowed in upon him ; he raged at his Difappointment,
and poured out a Tun of Gall upon Eufebius^ the laft
Retreat of Anger and Malice. For few People are un-
fkilful at thofe Weapons; and he that cannot ftab an
Enemy with his Tongue, is fallen fome Degrees below
the State of Impotence.

Refolutions alter'd with his Paflion, like Waves in a
Tempeft ; one rouled upon the Back of another. Some-
times he was for preferring an j^^ion againft him, for
pradlifmg the Law without Licence; then for reprefent-
jng h|im to the Government as a difaff(£(fted Perfon, a
L 1 3 J(iC9 bite

51 8 'the Gentleman lnflru[ied,

Jacohhe in Fadlion, and a Fanatick in Religion. But
Erifebius laugh'd at his Threats, and pitied his Malice.
He pitch'd at laft upon a perfonal Conference, as the
moft efFeftual, andlefs expen five Way to come to Terms
of Accommodation. And for thisReafon he invited him-
felf to Dinner. Eufebins was gtad of the Occafion ; he
had no lefs a Defire to difcourfe with Philargyrus^ than
Philargyrus with him. The Lawyer had a Mind to draw
up his Grievances againft the Gentleman,, and the Gen-
tleman to catechize the Lawyer; fo that both Parties be-
ing eager to found the Charge, what wonder they clofed,
and foon came to a hot Engagement?

P I A L O G U E in.

The Abufes of fome Lavjyers laid open ; and Precepts gi-
ven how to difcharge their Duty like Chrijlians.

TpUJl'bim perce'iv'd at Table Philargyrus had a better
-^ Stomach to complain, than to eat ; to fall upon his
Hoft, than his Dinner : For when Paflion rifes, Hunger
falls ; and Appetite finks, when Gall overflows. However,
Eufebius thought the Lawyer's Sournefs was no Prece-
dent for Rudenefs ; that one Man's Failures in Civilities
could be no Juftification of another's ; but after Dinner
he took him into the Garden, that he might throw up
the Oil that opprefs'dhis Stomach, andalmoft ftop'dRe-
fpiration. Philargyrus took hold of the Occafion, and
thus addrefs'd himfelf to Enfebius.

Philargyrus. I have often heard of your Piety and Wif-
dom, but how can I reconcile your Cohdud to either ?
Be not difpleas'd if I defer more to my own Knowledge,
than to Fame ; that cannot deceive, this is impofing :
It's but Intelligence at fecond-hand, liable to Error in
its Rife, and to Mifreprefentation in the Conveyance.
Pray, Sir, where is Prudence, when you embark in every
Man's Affair, and draw into your Forum all the Feuds
pf the Hundred ? You have adjourned the Courts of
IVe/lminJier-Hall into your private Family; and pro-
nounce more Sentenc?es from an arm'd Chair, than my
Lord Chief Juftlce from theBench. A Man muft have
a low Efteem of Eafe to refign it for Trouble, without

Necemty,

^he Gentleman InflruHed, ^i^

Neceflity, Profit, or even Invitation j and a mean Judg-
ment to' proftitute it to the Caprice of a mercurial and
reftlefs Temper.

Butbefides, Sir, I fuppofe you veil your Indifcretion
under the Cover of Charity, and difguife an unquiet Hu-
mour with the Ma(kof a Virtue. But you fhould con-
fider your Charity Hands upon flippery Ground, and
may fink into Injuftice before you are aware. For Right
and Wrong are meafured by the Law ; by this Tenure
we hold our Lands, and our Lives, and all Title muft
ftand or fall by the Conftitution of the Government.
Now the Knowledge of the Law comes not unto us by
Infpiraiion, nor is acquir'd by the fole Didates of Na-
ture. For the Rules of Juftice are fo unlike in one Me-
ridian to thofe in another, that one would think Mens
Species varied with the Climate, or the Elevation had a
tranfmuting Quality, and could throw Things out of one
Nature into another ; that the civil Magiftrate minted
Virtue and Vice, which, like Coin, pafs'd Current only
in his own Dominions. You muft not therefore only
read the Magna Charta of Nature, but mull plod over
Reports and Statutes^ Glojfes and Comments^ thumb Codes
and Pande^s^ and wander through all the Labyrinths of
Cujlom and Precedent. This is a tedious Journey, and I
fancy you have not been either at the Charges or Trou-
ble of it. No, the Law is to you Terra incognita^ an
unknown Region. You underftand the Language of the
Bar, no more than that of the great C/:'^j;». How there-
fore will you come at the'Senfe, and fquare a Judgment
by the Rules of Jullice and Equity ? 1 fear, good Sir,
you kill fome with Kindnefs, and pack others into Almf-
Houfes, or quarter them upon the Parifh out of Charity,
who notwithftanding might have liv'd comfortably upon
their own Fund, without being a Burthen to themfelves,
or Incumbrance to their Neighbour. Whilft you wrong
others, by giving 'em right, when they have only a Title
to Poverty, and the Revenues of the Bafket. I am willing
to allow you to .pronounce according to Confcience; but
alas, Confcience, without Law, is atbeft but an innocent
Miftake ; and tho' it exempts from Punifliment in the
next World, it expo fes your Neighbour to Beggary in
this. So that, tho' perch anfce it may be no Crime, it's
a very real Injuftice. Why don't you fet up for a Dcdlor
L 1 4 of

520 7he Gentleman Injini^ed.

of the Faculty, as well as for a Genilemnn of the (nns of
Court, and poft yom Rccipc^s about the Country, as well
as your VerdidsP It is Ids charitable to fet a dying Man
upon his Legs, than an expiring; Title? To cure a bro-
ken Arm, than a disjointed Eilate ? You are fenfible,
I fuppofe, you are unqualified for the Employment; that
you may fend Poifon for a Remedy, and Arfenick in
place of a Cordial. But pray, Sir, does not your Cha-
rity throw you into the fame Danger ? You are as great
a Stranger to the Law, as to the Difpenfatory : And as
flcnderly read in Cook upon Littlaoii^ as in Galen or
Hippocrates. How therefore can you diftinguifh between
Right and Wrong? The Law is the fole Standard of
both ; and even this is not fo manifeft as to flafh Evi-
dence and Convi(5lion. The Senfe flicks not on the Sur-
face, nor perches upon the Top of the Letter ; it muft
be often drawn out by Illation and Precedent; it's a
Mydery nothing but Study and Pradice can unriddle;
■withdraw therefore from Bufinef<;, and let; Controverfies
run in their ordinary Channel : And remember Charity
is prepofterous when It perfuades a good Adlion, by do-
ing an ill one.

The Gentleman exprefs'd himfelf with Heat and Em-
phafis, with more Paffion than Realbn, and fometimes
tranfgrefs'd the common Rules of Decency and Breeding;
but he pleaded his own Caufe, and fo we muft fling iri
fome Grains of Allov/ance ; for the moft lazy Tongue,
when kick'd by Intereft, and fpurr'd on by Paflion, will
run Poll:, and ftumble in the hurry over Modefty and Be-
haviour. Eufchins faw he run too fafl: to continue the
Career ; that when he had fhot all his Ammunition, he
might be attnck'd at greater Advantages ; and that proba-
bly when Paflion was talk'd down, Rcafon might get the
Afcendant. He therefore heard his Harangue, without
Commotion or Interpofing ; and when Philargyrus had
ended his Inventive, Eufehius began his Juftification,

Eufcbuii. I perceive that the Tewiple and Grey'' s- Inn
havedeclar'd me a publick Enemy to the Hoghen moghen,
iearyied in the Law ; a Tray tor to the Prince, and a Be-
trayer of the I^ibcrty and Property of the Subje^f. In
fine, guilty of all Crimes by Implications, though of none
in Reality. You have drawn your Tongue in the Caufe ;
you appear the iirfl in the P icld with your Quota, to
" ' * ' prevent

The Gentleman Inftru^ed, 521

prevent the Invafion, and all the dire Confequences of,
my Attempt upon the Bar and the Bench. But your Pre-
parations for War are no lefs unfeafonable than expen-
live; for I am refolv'd to entertain a friendly Correfpon-
dence with your Corporation, and neither provoke nor
truft you. You are dangerous both Ways ; your Friend-
fhip is as fatal as your Anger ; and he v^'ho confides in
your Fidelity, receives more Wounds, than he who de-
ierves your Refentment. However, Sir, you do well to
keep the longa roba Militia in Difciplinej to skirmifh in
Jeft, before you engage in Earneft.

You would certainly be to blame did you rate my
Qualities by the Report of Fame, for fhe fpeaks at Ran-
dom, and pronounces without Judgment or Sincerity :
She claps Vices upon good Men, and Virtues upon
Rafcals : She lampoons or praifes at a venture, and adapts
Satyr or Panegyrick to the Exigence of Intereft, and the
Biafs of Fadion, as you ftand off in Caution and Referve
for fear of a Surprize. Fll follow the fame Method,
for did I take the Size of your Morals and Religion by
the publick Cry, I fliould conclude you had a flender
Provifion of Confcience, and none of Honour or Honefty.

I. Youqueftion my Prudence for intruding my I'elfinto
Bufinefs without Neceflity or Invitation, and I your Re-
ligion for the Cenfure. If Wifdom perfuade me to C^hri-
ftianity, why do I forfeit it by difcharging the Duties
of my Profeffion? Now, you know, Chrill commands
me, not only to extend my Love to Friends, which is at
molt a Pagan or Jewijh Virtue, but to my Enemies; I
muft return Good for Evil, and Favours for Affronts.
I muft cloath the Naked, and drop my Alms into the
Hands of the Indigent. I muft reconcile Enemies, and
bring Neighbours to a good Underftanding ; and Chrift
pays the Labour with a Beatitude, BlejJ'ed are the 'Peace-
makers, Certainly, this Earneft of Heaven balances- the
Labour ; and who engages in Bufinefs upon fuch a Pro-
mife, gives not his Pains gratis. Intereft therefore and
Duty invite me to Bufinels, viz. the Precepts of Reli-
gion, and the Hope of Heaven, grounded upon the Pro-
mifes of our Redeemer ; and thefe are my Commiflions
too; fo that my Condudl is neither illegal nor foolifti:
For, I fuppofe, a Man who has Chrifts Command, is
armed with an unexceptionable Authority ; and that the

broad

522 7>&^ Gentleman Inflru^ed,

broad Seal of Heaven, is as authentick as that of the
Realm.

2. You are not fatisfied of my Capacity, becaufe I
am a Stranger to the Laws. Perchance, Sir, I am more
familiarly acquainted with them, than you fufpedl. I
was always of Opinion, a Smack of the Law was no lefs
neceflary to manage an Eftate, than t» acquire one; and
that a Man to avoid Circumvention, mu'.l dive into all
the little Artifices of the Bar, and the Myftery of Plead-
ing ; for whoever looks down a Precipice, is within an
Ace of a Fall; and when the Snare lies out of Sight, it*s
beyond the Power of forecaft to avoid it ; for this Rea-
fon I have turned over the Law, and methinks it has
fomething of the Prophet EzekleN Pviver, in which a
Lamb might walk, and an Elephant fink; a Man who
means well, may eafily fall upon the Senfe; and who in-
tends to play the Knave, may find a Cover for his For-
geries.

But after all, an ordinary Pittance of Law, with a
good Confcience, rids more Suits than the Science of
Cook with a bad one. Indeed, a Man beaten to the
Trade, may wrangle and harangue better than one that
is unexperienced in the Science of Chicane; he may talk
more plaufibly, and embroider his Difcourfe with Sta-
tutes and Precedents.

But generally this is only flourifh Terms, and IVeJl-
r<iinjler Cant ; it raifes a Duft, flings a Glitter on a bad
Caufe, and a Gloom over a good one: It racks the Law
and Reafon too: It raifes Doubts, wiredraws Suits /»
infinitum^ and makes Demonftration itfelf as two-hand-
led as the Pagan Oracles. Whereas, would Men as ftu-
dioufly employ their Time to difcover Truth, as to over-
look it; to end Debates as to perpetuate them ; Senten-
ces would be more quick, and perchance morejuft; at
leaft the Subjeft would feldom plead away his whole
Eftate, to maintain a Part, nor findjuftice moreexpenfive
than Extortion, and raore'barbarous than Violence: Nor,
in fine, lofe the Subftance to chop at a Shadow.

I claim not the Prerogative of Infallibility, like my
Neighbours, I am liable to Miftakes, and fubjedt to
Error; the Features of Wrong have often fuch a Refem-
blance with thofe of Right, that there is no diftinguifhing
the one from the others and therefore I never pretend

tny

'T'he Gentleman Inftru^ed. 523

my judgment (like the Laws of the Medes and Per/ians)
is irrevocable ; thole who are diflatisfied may appeal to
higher Powers, and Ihelter themfelves and their Concerns
under the Protection of the Law. But, Sir, they have
found by Experience, the Expedient is dangerous and
chargeable ; that thofe who raife Suits, are not proper to
end them; and that few engage in the Law, without
Wounds in the Skirmifli, and thofe mortal too; nay,
and by a ftrange Sympathy, they are entailed on the Fa-
mily ; and defcend, like chronical Diftempers, to their
Pofterity.

Philargyrus. So ; here is a Satyr upon the Profeflion,
and all that praftife it are Cheats and Impoftors, at leaft
by Conftru£tion ; the Words will bear an Adion ; and
did I not refpedt your Perfon, I might i)ring you upon
your Knees, and penance your Indifcretion.

Eufebius. You mifunderlland me, and throw a guilty
Comment upon an innocent Text. No Man has a greater
Value for the Profeflion than my felf ; it's the very Bafis
of Government, the Support of Society and Commerce ;
it's a Science that Hops not at airy Notions, nor fleeps in
Speculation and Revery; it fets Hand to work, puts
Bounds to Right and l^'rong, proteds the Clown from
Slavery, and the Nobility from the violent Encroach-
ments of the Multitude. It's as neceflary for the Confer-
vation of Order, as Air for that of Life, Without it,
the greateft Empires muft fall into a Heap of Confu-
lion, and the World become a Retreat to Thieves and
Aflaflins. Power will determine Right, and Force juf-
tify Extortion and Violence; a long Sword will be Ti-
tle, and Force will put in Pofleflion.

As the Profeflion is commendable, fo thoufands of its
Profeflors have been , not only above Praife, but even
above Calumny: Flattery could not fawn them into an
ill Adlion, nor Menaces fright them from a good one;
they were juft in fpite of Intereft, and upright in fpite
of Temptation ; they bore up againft the Provocations
of Greatnefs and Favour; they durft defend Juftice under
the Difguifeofa Beggar, and profecute Injuftice, though
proteded by Title and Authority.

Who has not heard of the great Boetius ? His Probity
out-fhined his noble Extraction ; his Juftice gave a Luftre
to the Scarlet, and his Prudence dignified the very Dig-
nity

524 The Gentleman InJiruBed,

nity he poITefs'd j he had the Privilege to revive all LeaK-
iiing, and at his Death to bury the whole Roman Grarv-
deurinhis ovi'ii Tomb; more glorious in his Difgrace,
than in the very Meridian of his Fortune, and more hap-
py in his Alilery, than at the Top of his Profperity. This
brave Man was above Difcouragement and ill Ufage, and
not lb much as check'd into Indillerency by Injury, or
carelled; he declar'd for Truth againft Majefty, and de-
claimed againft QppreiTion in the Face of Tyranny,

Who can fufficiently praife the incomparable ^\xTho-
mas Moor^ the Glory of our Nation, and the Phoenix of
his Age : He was the moll able Lawyer of his Time,
and, what is more, thebeftMan: His Virtue out-ftretch'd
his Knowledge, and his Conftancy was too hard for
Cruelty; he mounted from the Bar to the Bench, and
carried on Virtue through all the Oppolition of Avarice ;
the Charms of his Honefty were irrefiftible j they both
conquered Prejudice, and captivated Envy it rfelf ; and
tho'he loft his Life on a Scaftbld, he went off with Fide-
lity. For what could King Harry condemn but Virtue ?
Or who could he pronounce Guilty, but the Innocent ?
A Difgrace from him was more honourable, than a Pa-
tent of Peerage, and to be ftrip'd of a Dukedom, thai,i t;o
receive one.

Tho' the Intereft of Virtue is almoft funk in our dege-
nerate Age; tho' Confcience and Regularity have fmall
footing among us ; yet I could lingle out fome Gentle-
men of the Law, whofe Honefty vies with the moft up-
right Examples of Antiquity, as well as their Science ;
and if the Ancients have any Advantage, it's only that
they are Originals, and our Moderns Copyifts: Thefe
are Men that neither bend to Favour, now bow to Inte-
reft ; that profecutc Injuftice in Power, and abet Juftice
under all the Difadvantages of Poverty and Confinement;
They mind not the Plaintiff, but the Caufe ; and rather
ftand for Right without Fee, than fide with Wrong for
the double.

Yet, I confefs, the irregular Condu6l of fome, has
thrown a Scandal on the very Profeffion ; and the Probity
of many fuffers in the Opinion of the World, for the
mean Artifices of a few ; but what Wonder if fome Chil-
dren of wicked Cain, mingle their Blood, and their Prac-
tice, with t|ie Race of 6V//& ? A Lawyer and a Cheat are

now

^e Gentleman InftruBed, 52^

how Terms almoft fynonymous ; and Men that thrive
by the Law, are fuppofed to live without any. But it's
unjuft to ftigmatize a whole Body, for the Failures of
Ibme Members; the Funiftiment and the Fault (hould
go together, and he alone fhould bear the Reproach of a
bad Adion, that had the Face and Pleafure of commit-
ting it. Thefe arc Men of low Fortunes, and profligate
Manners, unable to' rife- by Merit ; they turn off' to Over-
reaching, and fupply the want of worth by Tricks and
Artifices. Such, we fay, rife by their Wits; but it's a
Miftake, they live by the Proftitu'tion of Confcience, and
vSale of Probity ; here, Sir, you have my Senfe of the
Matter; and if 3'ou pleafe to adtion me, take your
Courfc.

PhyUrgyrus. I perceive you will not have Men exert
their Parts, nor employ their Talents for Lucre and Gain.
No, they muft ruft in a Corner, or be lock'd up in a
Clofet; they muft be laid out in the publick Service, or
fpent in Charities ; and if a Lawyer praftifes not to a
'tetter the Doftrine of Self abnegation, if he cart:s an Eye
on his own Intereft, as well as on his Neighbours ; or
has the Forefight to lay in a Provifion for Age and Acci-
dent, he muft be dubb'd a Cheat, and pofted up for a
Fourb and Impoftor. I confefs I am not fo difengaged
from all temporal Concerns, as quite to over-look them.
I will oblige my Neighbour, but then I will notdifoblige
my Reafon; I will furnifh out Life to the beft Advan-
tage. A Man may live by the fweat of his Brains, as
well as by the Work of his Hands, and balance the Ex-
pence of his Studies, with the Fruits of his Pradlice. In
fine, Sir, I will mind my Client's Intereft, but intend not
TO forget my own ; he fhaii have Law, but muft return
Money for the Barter.

Eufebius. Nay, I conceive, a Lawyer that drudges
Gratis^ will be overlaid with Cuftom, though fcant of
Money ; and if he fets out with a low Fortune, he will
not fall upon a higher in his Journey ; for, as ihe World
goes, Generolity and good Nature are no thriving Embel-
lifhments ; and when one leaves the Payment of an Obli-
gation to the Difcrction of the Receiver, the Acknow-
ledgment feldom rifes in Proportion of the Favour. But
you mif-conceive my Meaning : I am not for throwing
all the Labour upon the Lawyer, and all the Profit upon

the

^2^ The Gentleman lnjiru[ied,

the Client. No, let him keep within the Bounds of Ho-
nefty, and I have no Exceptions againft him j a Setter
o'i Meiim and Tmtm deferves a Salary, as well as a Setter
of Bones : But, as I would not have a Surgeon make
Wounds for the Gain of curing 'em; nor a Do6lor poi-
fon a Patient to force upon him an Amulet ; fo a Gentle-
man of the Bar fliould not fet People together by the Ears,
to be paid for the parting them.

Pbilargyrus. That is, when two commence a Suit, we
mull compofe the difference a P aimable, and rather run to
Arbitration than the Law. Indeed our Trade would go
on at a ftrange Rate were Umpires in Fafhion, Curg»
woLfld not pay the Voyage.

Etifebius. Suppofe fuch a Projecl were put in Executi-
on, where is the Harm? Tho' you might need lefs Law,
you would pradlife more Gofpel ; and if the Lawyer loft,
the Chriftian would gain by the Expedient. Your Vails
might be flender, however they would be juft; and I
think a Crown with Innocence, is more valuable than a
Pound with a Crime ; but befides, you would ftill find
fools enough to impofe upon, for the World is ftockM
with Neck or Nothing ; with Men that will make over by
Retail an Eftate of a thoufand Pound per Annum^ to a
Lawver, in Expe<5tation of being pleaded into another of
two Hundred.

Pbilargyrus. You will have us keep within the Bounds
of Juftice, you caution us againft Injuftice, explain the
Jargon ; for I fear our Notions difagree, and that my
Idea is more indulgent, and of greater Latitude than
yours. I believe, according to your Scheme, a Man
muft make the leaft of his Parts to be honeft, and play
the good-natur'd Fool to be a Saint in your Calendar:
But to be free with you, I intend to fell my Pains by Inch
of Candle. I'll not venture one lingle Fulfe but upon
good Security, and high Intereft; and if I can get Ten
in the Hundred, why flialll refufe the Offer i" Injoftice
is a Chimera when both Sides agree. Able Lawyers are
now as fcarce as Corn was the laft Year : Why then
fhall they not tax their Labour af Difcretion, and raife
the Market as well as Farmers ?

Eufcbins. I fear indeed our Notions of Juflice are as
wide as our Pradtice ; Lawyers arc no ftraight- lac'd Cafuifts
in their own Concerns j they fteer by the old Philofophi-

The Gentlemak Injlru^cd. 527

cal Principle, Nothiti^ is jinjuji that is profitable. But tho'
thefe Maxims have Pradice for their Warrant, they have
neither Reafon nor the Gofpel ; and without this Sup-
port, the mod eftablifli'd Cuftom is only Vice trium-
phant. Now, if you plcafe, I will deliver my Judgment
upon the Matter.

I.

It's certain Law-fuitsare warrantable mcerly by Ac-
cident: Two cannot have Right to the fame Thing; but
becaufe the Title is ilnccrtain, the contending Parties may
appeal to the Law, and muft acquiefce to the Judgment
of the Court.

2.

Hence it's clear, when Right (lands evidenily for one
fide, a Lawyer cannot plead for the other; if he does,
he ilands no lefs guilty of ln)uftice, than if he help a Pad
to take a Furfe upon the Highway. Indeed his Crime
appears more genteel in the Eyes of Men, but in the Sight
of God it's ten Times more monflrous; for he abufes a
Virtue to pra6tife a Vice ; and endeavours to ruin In-
nocence by the Law, that was enaded to protect it ;
he turns the Sanftuary into a Butchery, and ftabs Juftice
at the Foot of her own Altar.

3-

When folid Reafons fupport both Sides, Right lies' in
the dark, and therefore you may plead for either, but
not for both ; for which Party foever has Right, you are
fure to be in the Wrong : Two can have no Title, in
folidum^ to the fame thing. Indeed, to take with both
Hands is a prefent Remedy againil an empty Pocket, but
a Poifon to the Confcience: For double Fees opprefs the
Stomach; nor is there any Cure but a Vomit, that is,
Reftitution. Such Men are Nufance? to Society; and
for my Part I am of the Satyr's Opinion in the Fable,
that it's dangerous to truft one that blows hot and cold;
nor would I have any more to do with him, than with
an Italian Bravo, who will difpatch my Enemy for a
Crown, and my felf for a couple. Thofe old Ifraelites
that halted between Bell and the true God, were nei-
ther ftaunch yews, nor thorough-pac'd Gentiles^ but a
Compound of two Species united in one Monfter. What
are our j^^f-^-of-both lide Gentlemen, but an Oft-fpring
of th» fame Race? They plead for Jullice on the one

fide

528 ^he Gentleman Inftruffed.

fide of the Mouth, and againft it on the other; proteft
it, and profecute it in the fame Moment, and fo cheat
both Clients and themfelves into the Bargain : Whofo-
ever buys either Wealth or Honour at the Price of a
Crime, over purchafes. Tell me not, There muji be no
interfering between Bujinefs and Religion^ that if the Pul-
pit wtll not agree with the Bar, we r/iuji thri%<e in the
IVorld^ and make the mojl of Labour. I am apt to be-
lieve thofe unchriftian Principles have made the very
Laws a greater Grievance, than thofe that break them ;
that they have heaved fome into fair Livings, and others
out of them ; and that they permit not Confcience to grow
too hard for Intereft: But hov\'ever. Sir, if the Bar be
at Variance with the Bible, whatever you gain in Hand,
will bear no Proportion with what you muft expedl in
Reverfion. For I cannot think that he makes the moll
of his Parts, who writes and pleads himfelf into ten
thoufand Pounds /'^r Annum, for fome Years, and into
inconceivable Torments for an Eternity. But you muft
thrive in the World ! In God's Name, provided the
Means be handfome, neither unjuft before God, nor fcan-
dalous in the Sight of Men ; but let me tell you, he who
refolves to rife is already within an AceofbeingaCheatj
it's ten to one he never formalizes upon the Means ; when
Covetoufnefs has got the Reins, there is no holding it in
with Notions.

4-
You muft not draw out Law- fuits mSaculaSteculotum,
nor ftretch them in Lengths, till a poor Client lofes both
Patience and Money; this is to join Murder to Robbe-
ry ; to lake a Man's Purfe with one Hand, and his Life
with the other; it's a Medley of Cruelty and Injuftice ;
firft put me upon the Rack, between Hope and Fear,
and then force me to pay the Executioner for my Tor-
ment. A Suit now runs for Life, and oftentimes defccnds
down to the fourth Generation. So that the Law is a La-
byrinth ; when once you are engaged, there is no Retreat ;
if you are ftrait-handed, the Lawyer becomes refty, he
will not ftir, and, like an ignis fatuus, he leaves you in the
Mire; if you fee him high, and rain down upon him
plentiful Showers of Guineas, he fpins out the Caufe to
drein your Pocket ; fo that he cither docs too much, or
too little, and perpetuates Difputes no Icf^' by being too

well

The Gentleman Itijlru^ed. 525?

Veil fee'd, than ill: Every one complains of the Grie-
vance; however, it goes on, and like to continue till
our Benchers have cither quietus eft, and Morels Utopian
Gentlemen are call'd to the Bar, and the Bench) in their
Leather-Breeches,

S-

There mud be no crofs-biting Evidences, nor frighting 5
ho laugliing, no queftioning them out of Truth and their
Senfes; to baffle a true Evidence is no lefs unjuft, than
to countenance Perjury. This is reported to have been
faid at the Bar, but by no means on the Bench- l^^'el/y
good Man Leather-Breeches ,(faid once a grave Judge from
the Bench) what have you for Swear in'^l He fuppofed a
Pealof Laughter might difmount the Clown, ruffle his
Memory, and make him trip in his Difpofition ; but he:
piiftook his Man, and met with his Match; the Fellow
was too fturdy to be feared by Furs or Scarlet ; or to
jQinchforaSarcafm, My Lord, hadyouno more for Lyings
replied he, than I for Swearing, you might have wore
Leather-Breeches Jiill.\ Now a Man, who upon fo folerhn
an Occafion dares affront a legal Witnefs, will certainly
at a dead-hft fuborn a falfe one ; and though his Defign
mifcarried, his Malice v/as at full Swarth. I know we
are pleafed to call this unhandfcmc dealing with, but
Names makej no Alteration in Things, The Scripture
terms it cheating, and we muil: rath6r appeal to its. Ver-
di6t, than to Cullom, or Calapine. Qjtevedo tells i:3,
that at the Sound of the Trumpet to Judgment, an At-
torney would have demurred, upon pretence he had got a
Soul was none of his own, and that his Body and Soid
^ere not Fellows. J. believe fome Lawyers vvill have more
Confcience in. the next World, than they have in this j
and, at the Day of Account wifli, that they had made
over their Souls to their Legatees, as well as their Ellates ;
but they'll not dare to pretend their Souls and Bodies arb
not Fellows; for, alas, they have gone halves in the
Crime, as well as the Fleafure and Profit, and^ by con-
lequentej mull fli^re in the Punifliment.

A Man that will thrive, eiiiily ilides into anlnjudice;
but then it's almoft as hard torecoVef, as to return from
Hell :. For lajuftice iecms to be one of tljofe Grimes that
are neither forgiven in this World, nor in the next. In-
deed a M.in may repent, but the Ci^nditions ai'.; lb hard^-
i\'i m ft?

530 "fhe Gentleman Inftm^eci,

\'o mortifying, that not one of a thoufand will fign them.
For, in fine, an Injuftice is not pardon'd without a full
Reitituiion, and Reparation of Damages; and thefe run
.often as high ss the Lawyer's Gains ; notwithftanding,
tho' you have raked together ten thoufand Pounds per
Annum^ by defending unjuil Suits, and ftretching out juft
ones ; by baffling true Evidences, or bribing Knights of
tlie Foff, you inufl: difgorge and fall into your own firft
Poverty, as naked of Support as when you hrft fet out.
Now, is it not againfl the Grain to expofeyour Reputa-
tion to Cenfure and Obloquy, to fhrink in your Figure,
i^nd to fink into nothing? However, thefe hitter Pills
mufl: down, unlefs you can refolve to welter in Fire and
Brimftonc eternally. It's hard, I confefs, to fling up a
fairEilate; yet better, than to fling up all Title to Hea-
ven, and to entail upon you God's Curfein this World;,
and his Vengeance in the other.

No Man m his Wits would purchafe an Eftate for his
Child at the Expence of his Life ; why then will he at
the Price of his Soul? Is this fo contemptible, and that
of fo fuperlative a Value? One muft h^ve a faint Idea
of future Punilhments and Rewards, thus to mifplacehis
Judgment and Efteem ; he mull fuppofe his Soul vaniflies
into nothing, when his Body falls into Duft; that the
River oi P bisgethan is as real and tormenting as the Lake
of Brimftone, and that tlie Pains of the Devils and dam- -
ncd, as romantick as thole of Tytius and Sxfipbtis : In
line, at moft, that Heaven is no more pleafing than Spring-
Garden, nor Hell no moi e tormenting than Newgate or
the Compter.

Now the beft Method to avoid this Difficulty is to
avoid the Sin ; it's ten times more eafy to abftain from
Rapine, than to repent of it. it's not hard to keep within
the Bounds of Juftice, if Avarice get not the Afcendant ;
but if this Vice runs away with our Heart, we Hop at
nothing. Strong Defires are llrong Temptations to ufe
ill Means; in the hurry of Paflion, Confcience is feldom
heard; he thatisbent upon a thing will have it right or
wrong.

Nor will this Refervednefs baulk your Fortune : A •
Lawyer that has the Reputation c f an honed Man, will
always find Employment. For who will not rather put
his Concerns in the Hands of one who makes a Confci-
ence

'The Gentleman Injiru^ied. ^S ^

fence of over-reaching a Client, than lay himfelf at th2
Mercy of a Knave? Honefty is efteemM by all, the' few
go to the Price of the Furchafe, and even thofe who
practice it the leaft, are moll eager Pretenders to it. In-
deed your Fortune will not rife fo faft, but then the Edi-
fice will be more firm and lalling : Thofe Buildings that
rife on a fudden, fall in a Moment; like precipitated
Births, they are never long-lived, and generally bury the
Builder under the R.uins. Gain never relifhes better than
when it's juft, and Advantage isalmoft doubled by being
lawful. Pray, Sir, be not difpleafed at my Freedom ;
fuch plain Dealing is neceflary to recover Juftice, and
difarm its Enemy. I expofe the Pradice to reform the
Man. I may perchance draw upon me the Anger of
fome guilty Benchers, and expofe my Perfon to Calum-
ny and Difcountenance ; but 1 fliall only pity their Blind-
nefs, and defpife their Malice ; for fear not to crofs upon
a Vice tho' never fo prevailing, nor tooppofe a Grievance
tho' back'd by Number, and fupported by Prefcription.
I will pleafe no Man to his Difadvantage, nor fix him in
an Error by a Complement^ nor carefs him out of his
Duty and Happinefs.

Philarji^yras ftood upon Thorns , and heard the Dif-
courfe with a thoufand Grimaces ; he was Proof to home-
ly and good Counfel, by a Kind of Antiperiftafis^ har-
dened in 111; you might as well have preadi'dan./ii^^/tf-
pian into a IVhite^ as this Attorney into an honeft Chri-
ftian. Ill Habits hung not loofe upon him, but twilled
themfelves with his Nature ; they funk into his very Soul^
and debauch'dhim in Pradtice and Principle too.

Look ye. Sir, faid he to Eufebius^ you have regaled
me with Cant, withFlourifhes, and a glut of Cafuillry j
but I will not be beaten out of my Road by hard Words,
Univerfity-Jargon, and ftrain'd Speculations. I live by
the Law, not by Cafuiftry ; and that ftands upon Prece-
dent, not Reafon : How many brave Gentlemen have
beat great Eftates out of the Law, by the Force of Me-
rit and Induftry, and plead Coronets on their CoacheSj
and themfelves into the Houfe of Peers I They work'd on
the fame Materials I do ; rteered by the fame CompafSj
and were governed by the fame Principle : Yet, where
are thefe Reftitutionb! Believe me, Sir, your Dodfrine
ji not calcuhied ibrour Elcvjition or Atc. Prefcription

M tn 2 " run5

532 The Gentleman InJiru^eS, '

runs ngainft fuch out-dated PraftiCes, and that is Lawj^
A A4an that will part with an Eftate, deferves none ; and
he that returns a Lordjhip out of Tendernefs of Confci-
ence, refigns his Wits in the Bargain. Pray let us not
interfere; keep your Eftate, and fufter me to glean up a
handlbme Livelihood. Confcience will not interpofe be*
tween me and Profit; Wealth brings Eale, and Poverty-
hangs a Man upon the Tenters.

When Philargyrus was gone, £«yie^/«j returned to him-
felf ; the parting Complement of the Lawyer had almofi:
feared him into a Trance : He was at a ftand to deter-
mine whether he was above ground or under, in Hell
among the Damned, or in Englafid among the Living.
Such Stroaks of Libertinifm fat on every Tittle of his
Difcourfe ; fuch Sallies of Atheifm, that one would have
thought the Man had trick'd himfelf not only out of Re-
ligion, but out of human Nature ; there was no Start of
Pafiion, no fudden Surprize to difcompofe him, he fpoke
under cool Blood, under Thought and P.efle6tion ; all
thefe Circumftances enflame the Guilt, and fwell the
Reckoning : This Farewel damp'd Enfebius^ and brought
into his Mind thofe uncomfortable Words of our Blelled
Saviour^ Many are called^ but few are chofea. To what
Height of Madnefs, faid Eufebius. does Avarice pufli
Men, when once it has got the Maftery of Confcience ?
To pawn ones Soul for a Fee, and Heaven for a double
one : Is it not Frenzy to Excefs ; and Lunacy beyond Ex-
prelFion ? All the Mad-houfes in the Nation are unable
to furnifh fuch Inftances of Folly ; fuch Strains of Di-
Itradion and Stupidity. Did Men believe no future
State, I conceive they might make the mod of this ; they
might forage Hpon their Neighbour's Land, and cruize
upon their Purics, and llore their Magazines with Plunder
and Rapine. But to believe the Dodrine of Chrift, and
to adl by that of Hobbs ; to own a Hell, and fweat to
feel it, is extraordinary and furpriling. Lei my Soul be
rather vjith the old Phihfuphers^ than with thofe of our
modern Lawyers ; perchance they might have had lefs
Faith, but I am fure they had more Honefty ; and if their
Religion wasworfe, their Pra^ftice was better.

jyiA^

S'he Gentleman Infiru^ed, 53 3

DIALOGUE IV.

Horn Eufebius behaved himfelf towards his Neighbours.

T^HO' Eufebius lived in Retreat, he had notforfworn
Company, jior difbandcd Trom Society. Piety is nei-
ther lullen nor Iblitary ; it cares not indeed to be crowded
with Vifitors, nor always to be tied up to Ceremonies, to
be peftered with Flies, nor tormented vilih Flattcfers;
yet it's never behind-hand in paying thofe Duties Civility
requires, and Decency calls for : He liv'd in a neigh-
bourly Correfpondence with all the Gentry, and received
and returned both Vifits and Invitations; His Temper
was too ferious to be aftefted by the younger Fry, that
place Mirth in Noife, and Diveriion in Extravagances ;
that meafure a Welcome, not by the Bottle, but the Gal-
ion; and fuppofe they are not treated like Men, unleis
they are drunk down to the Beaft ; but if thofe Sparks
^ad fmall Inclination to his Company, he had lefs to
theirs, and rather kept his Time and Liberty to himlelf ,
than fling them away upon fuch infignificant Trifles ; he
neither could mend their Morals, nor endure their Follies;
however, he diltinguifiied their Qiiality from their Vices ;
and tho' upon Occafion he Uih'd ihefe, he always treated
their Perfons with Regard. Nay, he fo timed his Repre-
henfions, that they rather feemed to fall in by Hazard,
than defigning ; and tho' he fpoke in Jeft, he inftrucfted
in Earneft. In fine, he rather glanced at their Faults by
{honl/sauefido^s, than attack'd them in Form, anden-
deavour'd to raife a Blufli, not their Anger; for he knew
that Choler cramps Reafon, and when this flies off:' the
Hinges, a Man is no more lit to receive good Counfel
than a Tempeft.

For this Reafon he ufcd to fay. Prodigals muft rather
be reclaimed by Surprize, than Force, by Kindnefs than
Reproach: They will follow, but not drive; they en-
dure a Remedy if applied with a gentle Hand, but then
they wince if you gall them ; like that of Children, their
Phyfick muft be palatable ; the Pills v/ill not down un-
lefs they are gilt ; he therefore difapproved thofe hot-
headed Zealots, who give Vice no tolerable Quarter;

M m 5 they

534 ^^^ Gentleman Injirn^ed,

they treat it with the fame Freedom inScarlet, as in Linr
fey-woolfey, and catechile a Lord with no more Cere-
mony than a Peafant: But they take falfe Meafures ;
great Men mud be complemented into their Duty, as
well as out of it. Civility works more kindly upon 'em
than Rudenefs.

Though the young Sparks kept aloof from Etifebius,
the more fober coveted bis Acquaintance; he v/as grave,
yet he had nothing ftarch'd, nothing ftilf; his Converfa-
tion was eafy, and he always modelled his Difcourfe to
the Time and Company ■■, he hated thofe old Tops who
prefs for Submiflion upon the Younger, with a ftately
Mean and referved Air; and fuppofe Age and Grey-hairs;
give them a juft Title to Refpeft. This is, faid he, to.
lax Converfation, and to put the Company under Con-
tribution for Defence and Regard ; it renders the Preten-
der cheap, and Society a Nufance. In line, he never
declined any juftCondefcenlion, and would rather ftretch
Complaifaiice a Point, than fcrew up his Gravity to Re-
fervednefs or Importunity.

He was a declared Enemy to Prodigality and Nearnefs,
he proportion'd his Expences, as I have faid, to his In-
come ; he never fpared Money when Occalions required
it; nor flung it z'WTiy mal apropo^ to pleafe a Frolick ;
he thought both Extreams equally vicious, that a fordid
Parfimony was ungenteel, and Profufenefs foolifh. When
he treated his Friends, he affected Neatnefs rather than
Grandeur, and rather fought to i^ratify the Tafte with
Delicacies, than the Eye with Variety; for Feafts are to
entertain the Palate, not Curiofity. In drinking he fol-
lowed Affuerui'^ Orders, Vi^um quo^ue ut magfj'ficentia
Regia d:gnum erat^ abunda'as Cif piwc'tptatm ponebatur^
nee erat qui nolentes cogeret ad bibendtim : fed ficut Rex
jlatrterat praponens menfisjiiigulns de Principibui fuis^ut
fumeret nnufquifque quod vellet ; lie thought it no lefs un-
civil to prefs his Guefts to drink, than to ftint them, and
could not endure an Englip Principle, that Cuftom has
naturalized, and Intemperance has made free Denizon of
the Country. A Man thinks himfclf welcome by hnlves,,
that is not quite drowned in a Barrel, and ill ufed till his
Body be turned into a Hogfhead, and his Head into a
Wind-mill.

This

7%e Gentleman Infiru^ed. 5 35

This Conduft, fo contrary to the eftablifh'd Laws of
Englijh HofpilaUty, difpleafed feme; and a Gentleman
took once the Freedom to inform him, that he lay under
adifadvantageous Charafter for his FrugaUty. Sir, laid
he, I doubt not of your Generolity, but People unac-
quainted with your Temper impeach you v/ith Avarice ;
a fingle Bottle will not wafh off' the Afperfion ; you muft
marfhal 'em upon the Table by Dozens : We love to look
our Enemies in the Face, and muft be carried from the
Table, as well as from the Breach; for we drink as well
as fight, like Men, and all your French Ragoufts are
unpalatable, unlefs high-feafon'd with Burgundy and
Claret. When the Ladies retire, adjourn to a Bye-room,
and be fure to march at the Head of the Brigade, and
lead it upon the Attack : Let your Provilions anfwer the
Number of th^ Aflailants; an EngUJhman can cope
with as many Bottles of French Wine, as Frenchmen i
and you know one to fix is an Over-match: Thus, Sir,
you'lhctrieve your Honour, and recover your Reputati-
on from the Imputation of Stinginefs, and ungenteel Slur
of Parfimony.

This Gentleman had a real Efteem for Eufei>iiis, but
none for his Fraftice ; he bore an Office, and poflefs'd a
fair Eftate in the Country. He was a good Companion
at the Pot, and an Adorer of the Pipe : He laugh'd at
thofe who placed Glory in Wounds and broken Legs,
and run their Heads againft Baftions and Half-moons for
a Place in the London Gazettey or the Pojl- Boy ; he would
not venture one fingle Pulfe for the taking Lijle or Tbar-
Kay, nor fling his Money upon Do6lors and Surgeons,
much lefs be carried, fike a Calf, from the Attack to
his Tent, or his Grave: No, faid he, I came not into
the World to be cannonaded, or bagonetted out of it ;
I will nurfe up Life to the Extent of Nature, and leave
it in my Bed, not in a Ditch.

However, tho' the Deputy-Lieutenant had no Inclina-
tion for Camp-glory, he was ambitious of Fame; but
then he refolved to fetch it rather from the Cellar, than
the Field ; and indeed, he was a kind of Flagman^ a
Vice-Admiral^m^Xi thofe Expeditions of Good fellowfhip;
M m 4 fo

53 1^ ^loe G E i; T L E M A N Infinifiecl

{o beaten to the Trade, that no Body durft contend for
the Command. So that, though by Commiflion he was
only Deputy-Lieutenant, his topping Embellifhments en-
titled him to the Lieutenancy of the Country. I have
feen Right Woifliipful knock down half" a Dozen under
the Table in a trice, and then he will clap and crow
like a Game-cock. Nay, he fwore he deferv'd a publick
Complement for the Exploit, as well as our great Duke
for his Blangy ; becaufe he flew more with his own Hand,
and loft fewer than this mighty General ; nay, and kept
the Field into the Bargain. A Friend defired him not
to proftitute his Qiiality and Commiflion to Scorn and
Obloquy, by fo mean, fo unmanly a Vice ; but he an-
fwer'd, thofe lie under a great Miftake, that mark'd it
with Unmannerlinefs. We drink like Beafts, faid he,
When We drink leaft, but like Men when we drink till
we can neither go nor Hand,

Eufebhis was ftruck at his quaint Harangue, and more
at his Principles : He thought Caution it felf might fome-
times be overfeen, and Sobriety trepanned by Company
into Litemperance ; but to gage Breeding by the Barrel,
to turn Drinking into an Employment, and the Infamy of
Drunkennefs into a Perfedion of human Naturewas ex-
traordinary ; he thank'd the Gentleman for his Advice,
but defired leave to follow his own Method, till he had
offered feme better Reafon to change it.

For, Sir, faid he, you perfuade me to refcue my
Honour from the Imputation of a pretended Vice, by
committing a real one. You provoke me by the Motives
of Glory, to Adions that* degrade a good Man, and force
an ill one even to blufli. You mifapply the Notions of
Honour and Infamy i ^you blame and praife in the wrong
Place ; and thus you pronounce Monllroufnefs to be Pro-
portion, and the Blcmiflics of Mankind to makeup its
JBeauties. I lie, you fay, undci* the Afperfion of Ava-
rice; and nothing will remove the Calumny, unlefs I
drovv'n my Gucfts in Claret and Canary. I confefs, the
Remedy feems fen times worfe' than the Difeafe ; I would
rather be pointed at for a M/fer, than be condemned
for a Prji»kar£i ; that Vice indeed is uncreditable, but
this is brutal ; ihat makes an ill Man, but this throws

him

fhe Gentleman hJlruBed. ^^ y

hlmoutofiiis Species, and turns him into aBeaft; nay,
lays him below the vileft ; for he is a Beaft of Man's
Creation, and by confequence more monftrous than the
loweft Fart of God's, or rather he is a reafonable Beaft,
and irrational Man,

" What a noble Speftacle muft it be to fee a Club of
Gentlemen of Figure and Quality metamorphofed into
'Bethlems^ and their Palaces into Mad-houfes ; to fee 'em
play the Ape and the Swine, and run out into Lengths of
Folly and Extravagance? No doubt, it's an honourable
Employment for a Mafter to play the Mimic k and Scara-
mouch before his Men, to entertain them with Farce
Gratis, and to fling a merry Interlude into their Salary ;
to out-do the Roman Bacchanals in Diftra6lions, and to
ftrain Jollitry, not into annual, (for once a Year a wife
Man may have leave to be mad) but into a daily
Madnefs.

Good God ! What a Scene did I once behold at Sir
B — F — 's ! It gave me fuch a Surfeit of Wine, that
.for a Twelve-month the very fight of a Bottle call me
into a Sweat and Agony. I began almoft to believe
that Pythagoras's Tranfmigration was rather a Trutb^
than Allegory or Fable; for in the Space of an Hour
a dozen Gentlemen commenced Beads, and all of dif-
ferent Species ; there were j^pes. Bears, Lyons, and Jack'
calls : Some roared, others yeiyd, and others hoivl'd. In
one Corner there was making Qiiarrels, in another
Love; here they fung, there they blafphemed; they
kifs'd in one Place, and box'd in another: In fine, there
was a Medley of Farce and Tragedy, of Folly and Mad-
nefs, a Subje6t for Laughter and Tears ; but when they
began to return Home, they play'd all at crofs Qiieftions,
the Pollilion crept behind the Coach, the Coach-man in-
to it, and the Mailer into the Box : For Wine is a Level-
ler, it either raifes the Man to the ?v/[afi:er, or throws
down the Mafter to the Man. When Reafon fleep?,
Extravagance breaks loofe ; Qiiality and Peafantry pig
together; there is no difference between a Lord and a
Lacquey, but that he is more to blame; in a Word, they
were in no Condition for a Journey ; fo that the Gentle-
men were conveyed into Beds, and the Equipage camp'd
in the Court,
»■ ■

Well,

53 S* ^he Gentleman InJiruBed,

Well, Sir! reply'd the Deputy-Lieutenant, OverT
fights will happen, but Good-felIo\v{hip muft go on, and
a neighbourly Correfpondence be improved.

As much Good- fellow fliip, faid Enfehius^ and Kind-
nefs as you pleafe, provided you flufli right Notions, and
frame an Idea of both by the Rule of Reafon, not of Cu-
ftom; but I cannot perfuade my felf, the Laws of Good-
fellowfhip command me to drink away my Health and
my "Wits for a Frolick: Health is no Nufance, nor Rea-
ibn a Burthen. If you had a fancy to a Cup of Poifon,
does the Ceremony of Good-fellowfhip order me to
pledge you in the fame Liquor? Now over-drinking
turns the beft Ale in the Nation, and the bed Wines in
France into Poifon. Indeed, they difpatch not by fudden
Aflault, as Ratsbane or Arfenick, but by Mine and
Siege ; however, their Operation is fure, and though their
Malignity be flow, it's mortal.

Nor can I think any Principle of Friendfhip obliges me
to help a Man to deftroy his Eftate, to hnk his Family
into Beggary, his Perfon into Contempt, and his Body
into Difeafes: Now your Kindnefs wades further into
Mifchief; I muft dofe his Reafon, and ftab his Soul,
nay, and my own too. No Man certainly dares own
this for Kindnefs, who is not adlually drunk. Befides,
you may as well entertain Heat with Cold, as Friendfhip
with Drinking, Alas, good Sir, when Wine flies into
the Head, Glafles fly about the Ears; for when once
Reafon is drowned, Paflion always fwirrfs on the Surface ;
moft of thofe Quarrels that end in Blood, begin in Winej
Jollitry drunk too high, degenerates into Fury.

But, befides, Drunkennefs is a Sin, and of a very black
Dye; it's one of thofe that (huts Heaven's Gate, and
opens that of Hell to the Offender. Now, tho' it were
as genteel as it's clownifh, that very Confideration (hould
fright thofe from the Pradice, that bound not their Hope
or Fear with Sight and Sen[e ; Kindnefs and Good-fellow-
fhip muft not take Place of our eternal Welfare, nor Ce-
remony of our Duty. If therefore Drunkennefs be a
Sin, is it none to invite, none to perfuade a Neighbour
to it? Muft a Gentleman be mark'd with Infamy, be-
caufe he will not turn off' Confcience ; nor purchafe the
Reputation of Houfe- keeping, at the Expence of his Soul ?
I am not fo fond of Efteem as to buy it by a bafe A^^tion i

nor

^he Gentleman Inftru^ed, ^^^

nor fo fearful of Contempt as to avoid it by a Sin. I
will not transform my felf into a Brute for the Reputati-
on of a fine Man, nor ftoop to the Office of a Tempter,
for the Title of Generofity. No, no, Sir^ in my Houfe
Guefts (hall never be ftinted, nor forc'd. Heave them
to their own Difcretion, and invite them to be merry,
but not to be mad. I love a cool Head, and a calm Con-
fcience; and I had rather fee Flights of Diftradlion in
Bethlem^ than of Extravagance at Home. To conclude,
I had rather be reproach'd for Sobriety, than carefs'd for
intemperance; and lam poon'd for a Virtue, than Pane-
gyrick'd for a Vice.

• Well, well. Sir, replied the Knight, we will not fall
out for the Matter : Let every Man take his Way , but,
give me leave to tell you, Confcience and all your Fiddle-
faddles will not fcreen you from Cenfure. When we go
to a Merry-meeting, we leave that Lum.ber at Home ; but
when we are fummoned to a Qttarter-Sejfiuns, or fo, then
indeed we take it up behind us, if the Horie will carry
double, for though it may be of Ufe in a Bufinefs of
Menm and Tuum^ it's a Burthen at a Feaft, a Controller
of Mirth, and a Poifon to Good-fellowftiip.

Eufehius blefs'd himfelf at the grave Gentleman's
Preachment ; to hear Magiftrates plead for Riot, and Jn-
ftices of Peace for Diforder, feemed furprizing ; but the E-
vil lies deep, there is no removing it ; it's become a Branch
of Engl'ijh Property, and we will no more part with the
Vice of Drinking, than with our Magna Charta. We
have received it from our Fore-fathers, and improv'd the
Talent to Admiration ; one Man infedls another, and
the prefent Set of Tiplers will hand down the Difeafe to
their Pofterity ; and thus the Diftemper will run on with-
out Cure, and continue without End.

DIALOGUE V.

Of his Recreations.

JpUfebius was not fo engaged in Piety, as wholly to lay
-f-' afide all Recreation ; he knew that fome Divertife-
ment was neceflary to refrefh the Body, and unbend the
Mind ; that a continual Application difpirits the one,

founder^

540 The Gentleman Infiru^eL

founders the other, and renders both unfit for Adion ?
but then he took care not to turn Diveriion into Bulinefs,
nor to play away his Time, hke Children, in Trifles.
Age had taken off the Paflion he had for the Sport of
Hunting; his Body could not endure the Violence, and
his Inclination carried him to more moderate Exercifes;
he was often upon the Bowling-green in Summer, and to
entertain Converfation would take a Game at Cards j
but then he play'd for Diveriion, not Gain ; and would
never venture more upon a Caft, than he could lofe with-
out the Danger of Impatience ; for when Bets run high.
Solicitude baulks Pleafure, and the Fear of lofing turns
Sport into Pain and Penance ; it boils up the Puffions in-
to a Ferment, heats the Blood, and then an unlucky Hit
flings a Man upon the Tenters.

Whatever he won was a Bank for the Poor ; a kind of
Tecunia Sacra^ always employed in Charity ; fo that he
fell upon a Secret (more beneficial than the pretended
Philofcpher's Stone, and more real) of turning Diverfion
into Virtue, and of raifing the moft ordinary and loweft
Actions to the Dignity of the moft Divine. Thus at once
he refrefh'd his Body, and improv'd his Time; or (in
the Apoftle's Language) pray'd and play'd, recruited his
Spirits, and fupplied his Neighbour j pafs'd his Time in
Mirth, and yet redeemed it.

However, he ufed even the moft harmlefs Recreati-
ons, as I faid, like Phylick for Health, not hke Meat
for Suftenance, for, faid he, they are not the Bulinefs,
either of a Gentleman or of a Chriftian ; and therefore
whofoever iuffers them to ulurp his Time (allow'd for
more noble Employments) plays the Child, tho' not the
Innocent, while he thus trifles away his Life, and Bowls
and Cards away thole precious Moments, that once he
will recal with Tenrs but never recover. He therefore
retired fo foon as Civility permitted, and entertained
himfclf with reading; but he never would open a Book
that ftruckat Morality, or queft-oned Religion ; the one
debauches Prailice, llie other Principle ; and he ufed
to fay, bad Books are the 'ij;'orie for. being well writ j
they iubdue almoft without Refiftance, when they min-
gle Corruption with Wit, and convey Poifon intoPlca-
lurc; but he fpent whole Hours in the Ledure of thofe
tha^ treat of Piety, th.U lighten the Undtrftanding, and

warm

*the Gentleman Injru^ed. 541:

%arm the Will ; that point out the Way to Virtue, and^
with a Refolution to purchafe it. Such he look'd upon
as fure Guides, and profitable Entertainments ; as fup-
ports in Solicitude, and Friends in all the different Oc-
currences of Life and A6lion ; they cenfure without Re-
proach, and praiie without Flattery ; they neither fawn
on Gentlemen, nor over-look Peafants, but, like Pidures
made to Sight, look equally upon all ; nor was he con-
tent with the bare Speculation ; he knew the Virtue of a
Chriftian confifts not in the Knowledge of his Duty, but
in the Exercife of it, and therefore he drew by the Life;
he copied from thofe Originals, and joined Practice to
Theory, and thus he weaned himfelf from all thofe
worldly things Men fo eagerly purfue as Flies ; he nei-
ther hoped for any temporal Advantage, nor feared any
Adverfity ■■, his Defires look'd beyond Time, and nothing
but the Pains of the Damned v/ere able to awake his
Fear ; fo that he embraced Crofles and Flavours with the
fame AfFeftions, and always faid, thefe led us indeed the
eafieft Way to Heaven, and thofe the mof^fecure; and
thus he was neither fond of Life, nor dreaded Death,
but equally difpofed to keep his Poll, or to abandon it
at the firft Command of his great Mafter.

And indeed, he had fuch an Empire over his Paffions,
fuch a Submiffion to all the Defigns of Providence, that
he feemed, if not above the Reach, at leall above the
Senfe of Adverfity, even when he lay under the Weight
of a Misfortune. His Niece whom he loved with the
Tendernefs of a Father, fell fick of a burning Fever : She
deferved indeed his AiFedion ; for flie was fct off" with all
the Perfections of a Woman, and enrich'd with all the
Virtues of a Chriftian. One might truly fay, with the
wife Man, {he lived a great while, tho' ihediedat Seven-
teen, and that fhe v/as ripe for Heaven in the very Sprino"
of her Age: She pafs'd thro' a long Courfe of Pains,
with an invincible Patience, and expet^led Death rather
with the Courage of a Hero, than the Timoroufnefs of a
Woman.

Every one thought this Accident would put Enfci^hn's
Phllofophy to the Stretch ; that a Blow in fo fenfible a
Part, would flrike out fome Symptoms of Wenknels;
but they miffook the Fvian ; he fdt the Lofs, but ^r± not
under it: He let f^-.W inched a Tear at parting, but wipea

it

54^ T'i'^ Gentleman Injlru^ed,

it off in a Moment, and he told his Friends, who wonder*(i
at his Unconccrnednefs, to be forry (he is not with
me, when I believe (he is better from me, is a mark I va-
lue my Satisfaction above hers, and mourn for the Li-
ving more than for the Dead ; it's Infirmity, not true
Kindnefs, when we will not refign to our felvcs the
Happinefs of a Friend.

I believe fhe is in a State of Blifs, why then fhould I
weep for her, whom I fuppofe in a Place we all wifli to
be fettled in? If fhe be not, my Affedion will not eafe
her Torments, nor raife her from her Grave:. So that
my Grief will cither be unfeafonable or vain ; it may
render me miferable, but will add not a Grain to her
felicity, nor abate one of her Pains. But, in fine, God
who gave her Life, is pleafed to recal the Gift, what
Reafon have I to complain of hard Ufage ? Rather I
thank his Goodnefs for having lent me her fo long, than
blame him for taking her from me fo foon ; his Favours
arc free Gifts, no Debts : It's our Duty to receive them
with Thankfulnefs, and to return them at the firft Call
with Submifiion and Franknefs. Thefe Difpofitions
feem'd fo noble, fo generous, that they became the
Gentleman, as well as the Chriltian, and every Man
confefs'd his Charafter could not be rais'd too much,
nor efteem'd enough : For Virtue, like the Sun, is more
gazed on when eclips'd, than when it glitters in Profpe-
rity, and we m.ay be fure it's Sterling when it bears the
Touch-ilone of Afflidion.

I cannot omit one Paflage that happened in this young
Lady's Sicknefs; it Ihews the Skilland the Confcience of
Dodors are all of a Piece, and that they are oftner fee'd
for killing than curing a Patient, or at leall for doing no
Harm, than for doing Good. I thought /l/o//>rf lafh'd
the Gentleman of the College with too much Freedom ;
that he entertain'd Vdr'ts^ and the Court, at the Expence
of the Faculty, and drew their Piftures at random, with-
out any regard to the Original; but the Jury of Phyfi-
cians that fat upon this poor Lady's Life, alter'd my C>-
pinion, and forc'd me to own, that the Comedian has
thrown more Truth than Fidtion in their Chara<Ster, and
rather tVdls fhort than over- flourifli'd ic.

And firft, half an Hour ilipu'd by in Ceremony and
Complement j then they gave an Accouni of Yellerday's

Ren-

'fhe Gentleman InJiruBed, 543

Rendevouz, and expofed the Diary of their Debauches,
had not the Doftor in Ordinary put them in mind, they
had forgot their Errand, and returned with their Fee,
without leaving fo much as a Recife j but then they
would not take the Pains to ftep into her Chamber, but
referred themfelves to the Information of the Ordinary;
he regaled the JhnHo with a Difledion of the Diftemper,
and pillaged U''illis de Febnbus to rig out his Harangue.
Galea and Ilfpocrates were brought upon the Stage,
nay, and Arijtotle : To compleat the Farce, Greek and
Latift were fcrved up in Plenty, and one Aphorifm tum-
bled in upon the Back of another. A Maid told him the
Lady grew worfe, and that (he was drawing towards
her Agony : The Gentleman laugh'd at her Meilage.
It's impojfible, faid he, Hippocrates /j />/<«/», that Fevers
come to aCriJis the fourteenth or one and twentieth Day,
now this is only the tenth : Hoiu then can your Mijirefs be
fij near her End ?

Hippocrates may fay what he pleafes, replied the
Maid, but if you difpatch not foon, your Remedy will
come too late.

Hasfhe taken the Dofe of EmeticP. fays the Dodlor.
Yes, anfwer'd the Maid, but it had no EfFedl.
Bon, cries the Confult, a happy Prognoftick.
It caft her into Convulfions, continued the Maid.
Better yet, fays the Confult. But alas, in fpite of the
Dodtor's Better and Better, the Lady grew li^orfe and
IVorfe. A new Courier put a ftop to Enquiry, and fum-
moned the Jundo to the Lady's Chamber: She lies -in
Extremity, a Subject of CompafTion and Admiration ;
the Emetick put her upon the Rack, yet her Patience was
ftronger than the Pain. She feem'd almoft to out-brave
thofe Primitive Martyrs, who neither flinch'd in the
Fire, nor cried Oh! at the Torment of Knives and Ra-
zors J and though her Force funk every Moment, her
Refignation to Providence was invincible.

One Dodlor was for Bleeding, another for Caufticks,
a third for he knew not what, and a fourth for fending
her to the Waters j their Skill was non-plus'd, and they
had already difcharged their Latin, and poured out their
Stock of Aphorifms; fo that, in fine, they concluded
Nemine contradicente, for a Bolus of Opium, that {xx~
might depart without Pain.

lEsufebiy.:

544 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^e'd.

Eufebtus bore all their impertinent Jargon; but whei^.
he heard this barbarous Refoluiion, he was not Mafter
of his Refentment. What, faid he, Gentlemen, do you
believe another State? That an Eternity depends upon
thislaft Moment? If you do, with what Confcience can
you in this fatal Circumilance, caft Reafon into a Le-
thargy, when a poor Creature ftands molt in need of it ?
YoH would, forfoothy put her out ofPai/7, but your Pity is
barbarous, and your Compallion cruel; for you deprive
her of the very Power of asking God forgivenefs, and by
confequence of Pardon. - Indeed, the virtuous Tenure
of her Life is in fome Meafure an Aflurance her Death
will not be miferable; for it's rare to fee a Perfon who
has lived well, die ill : But however, it's a great Step
taken in the dark ; a Trip is fatal, and an Over-fight
may pitch her on the v/rong Side of the Shore, and then
there is no Return. No, no, Gentlemen, if you can do
her Body no Good, you fnall do her Soul no Harm. Few
Moments remain, let her difpofe of them to Advantage j
let her die in Pain, to revive in never-ending Pleafures.

This fnort Harangue propagated the 'Jundo, and put
an End to their Refolves: However, they took care of
their Fee, but then left all Concern for the Lady behind
them. The Ordinary llaid not to cure, but to fee her
die. Indeed, this was extraordinary; but Doctors, like
Judges, pronounce the Sentence, but feldom are prefent
at the Execution.

DIALOGUE VI.

Whether it he expedient for Gentlemen to travel^ ivitk
fome Diredhijs to thofe vjho go Abroad.

'\lEander''s Father perfuaded him to travel, before he
^^ fettled in the World: He was of the common Per-
fuafion, that home-bred Gentlemen are only rough caft ;
that they mult receive the laft Strokes of Behaviour in
Frar.ce znA Italy. But N:andfr., who rated the Perfecu-
tions of a Chriitian, above all httle Accomplilhments of

aGentleman,.and afFecled rather a Decency of Manner?,,
than of (^arria^e, would not confent to the Propofal, ti-1!

be

The Gentleman InJlmBed. 545

he had confulted his Oracle Eufebius^ and he refolved ra-
ther to follow his Judgment, than his own Inclination.
He therefore gave him a Vifit ; the Father acquainted
him of his Defign, and afked his Advice.

My Son, fjid he, grows in Years lit for Improvement ;
he has Quality and Eftate to fupport it. And befides.
Nature has furnifhed him withagood Genius, and a fiiarp
"Wit, fo that nothing is wanting to render him ferviceable
to his Country, and an Honour to his Family, but Expe-
rience. Now this cannot be well acquired but by Travel-
ling. He has indeed all the Learning the Univerlitycan
give him J but then to fteer wholly by Books, without
looking into Men and Bufinefs, is like learning a Trade
witiioutever coming to the Pfaftice: Who intends to be
Mafter muft draw by the Life, as well as copy fromi the
Original, and join Speculation with Praftice. My Rela-
tions are divided upon the Matter ; fome perfuade me
to fend him Abroad, others to keep him at Home; fome
tell me . Home-breeding will ungentlcman him, and
others, that foreign Education will turn his Englip Blood
into French or Italian ; favour me with your Opinion
upon the Matter.

I am not, reply'd Eufebitis^ fo fond of Travelling,
as fome of our Noblemen ; nor yet fo averfe as others.
A Man, no doubt, may reap great Improvement from
the Tour of France and Italy, and alfo make the Journey
^o Difadvantage. He may rather glean up their Vices
than their Virtues, and return both a Clown and a De-
bauchee. He may fall in Love with their Wine, and their
Women ; and bring back nothing but a Wife, a Miftrefs,
or a Difeafe, for zMa^oranc^lum of his Voyage. At leaft,
I know fome who left their Innocence and Money in the
Contwent^ and landed at Gr^jT'^/eW, with as light Heads,
and lighter Pockets, than when they hrft fet out zx. Do-
"ver. I confefs this windring Humour Ipreads wide, and
grows epidemical : Men fancy foreign Air purifies the
Brain, as well as the Lungs; that Breeding and Ex-
perience fp'rout up in the Streets of Paris and Venice ;
and that a View ot Verjailles^nd Marly transforms Rufti-
city into Behaviour. But alas. Sir, the Fr^-wr/^j Climate
breeds Clowns nolefs than our Englip ; and I have feeii
there as ill-fhap'd Gentlemen, zszt London. Our Car-
riage indeed has fomething of the Lion, and theirs of

N n ths

54^ ' The Gentleman hiflruEied.

the Ape ; ouis awes, theirs delights j theirs is foolifh, and
ours lurly.

You have drawn, fays the Gentleman, a difadvanta-
geous Map of the Continent, and if Debauchery be the
only Fruit of Travels, I think we may buy that Com-
modity nearer home at lefs Charge and Labour. For
Vice thrives to Admiration in our Soil ; and we have
tranfplfinted it thefe ten Years into Flanders^ Germany
and Spain ; and, what is ftrange, our Stock is not funk ;
nay, it rather rifes every Day ; and though often Men of
other Trades flip afide, we hear no Debauchees turn Bank-
rupt of their Vices. But, under favour, tho' other Na-
tions have their Defeats, they are not quite bare of Per-
fedlions. They may fet us Patterns for Imitation as well
as for Averfion ; and, by confequence, improve a young
Gentleman as well as corrupt him. Every Country pro-
duces Remedies as well as Poifons, and he deferves to die
who leaves thofe for thefe.

No doubt, reply'd Eufebius^ there are fine Things be-
yond Sea, and a young Man may waft over a handfome
Cargo oi Italian Improvements, with a Valize of French
Behaviour. But, alas. Sir, they will lie upon his Hands,
and ruft in his Wardrobe for want of ufing. We hate the
ftiff and gumm'd Deportment of the Italian, and to be
yoak'd in Ceremony, or tied up to Steps in Converfation.
Andthe French Shrug only fits tolerably on a Beati^ and
intitles him to the Honour of a Fop.

But, Sir, anfwer'd the Gentleman, Breeding confiils
not meerly in a genteel Carriage, and Decency ot Ge-
llure jit reaches to the Improvement of the Underftand-
ing. I look upon a Man, whofo only Ornaments hang
upon the Surface, like thofe Palaces that arefcately with-
out, and unfM-nifli'd within. Now Travelling manures
theUnderftanding ; it affords Knowledge and Difcovery ;
it enlarges the Faculty, and gives a more extcniive infight
into Things and Men.: Whereas a hom.e-bred Gentleman
is confin'd to narrow Limits ; he wants Materials for Ob'-
fervation, and cannot work out a Subjed for a genteel
Difcourfe.

Befides, Sir, he learns the great Myftery of Foreign
Governments ; their Fort, and their Foible ; the Intereits
of Princes, and their Defigns: And thus at the fame time
he feafons Pleafure with Profit ; he ftan;es (if I mav fiy

fo)

^he Gentleman InJlruBed. 547

fo) irfto Politicks, and rides Poll into Bufinefs : He re-
turns equip'd for Employment, and rigg'dout for an Em-
balTy at leaft, to the Cantons or Ham-Towns .

Oh, Sir, faid Eu[ebtus^ you fend, I perceive, your
Son abroad to catch Politicks. You fhould remember,
we flufh at home that Game in every Tipling-houfe :
It over-runs both Town and Country, and is funk from
an Imbelliihment into a Nufance. Our Coblers and
Tinkers take into their Gonfideration the ardiia regn't ne-
gotin, as well as our Parliament ; and leave Holes in
Shoes and Pans to mend the Government. I tell you.
Sir, our Soil produces more Politicks than all Europe be-
fides ; fo that to tranfport Foreign is to fend Owls to A-
thens. We are, in a Word, pefter'd with thofe of our
own Growth, and I believe a Prohibition to fliip over ex-
tern Politicks into England might prove no lefs beneficial
to the Nation, than'that of bringing over FrenchWixits^
or planting Tobacco.

But, Sir, fuppofing our Gentleman arriv'd at Paris or
Venice^ what Company muft he ply for thofe mighty
Advantages you fpeakof? In one place, without doubt,
the topping Minlfter of State ; in the other, the Counfel
di Died. Certainly in fuch Schools he may in a fhort
time run thro' a Courfeof Politicks, and commence Do-
dor of State- tricks. But do you think thofe Achitopheb
will unveil the fecret Myfteries of their Mafters to Stran-
gers, and throw before them the Arcana of the Cabinet ?
No, no, Sir, he mull be content with Town-Intelligence,-
or the Table-Reports of Treating- Houfes; and then you
may guefs with what a Provilion of Politicks, with what
a fading of Science he is like to freight the Packet- Boat
at liis return. I counlel you rather to furnifli your Son
V/ith Gazettes^ Mercuries^ and Clefs de Cabinets. Here he
may catch Language and Knowledge at the fame Draught,
and polifli his Tongue and his Brain together. I all'ure
^ou. Sir, I knew a Gentleman, who bid f^iir for the Re-
pute of a great Man, and an able Minifter: He topp'd
the Gravity-'of Don Frederick de Toledo ; his Air Was as
inyfterious as his Difcourfe ; like the Pagan Oracles, he
nfFe6led Riddle and Innuendo's. One would have taken
him for the GrandVizir-General of Europe, the common
Manager of Treaties, and fole Dcpbfitory of all the Cabi-
net Refolutions. Yet he own'd all his IntelliTCncs toZ/^A
N n :: la?}d

j;4^ ^he Gentleman Infinuied.

land News Books ; and when the Wind blew from ow
Shore in the Br/V/Packet-Boat's Teeth, he was at a lofs
for a Difcourfe. One would have fwore a North-Weft
Gale had work'd upon his Brain, and Iplown his Wit and
his Memory mXo Norway or Denmark.

But, Sir, do you fancy a Gentleman at iiis Arrival at
Paris fends Hue and Cry after a Mafler of Politicks ? No,
no, this is point-blank againft Cuftom and Precedent.
His Bufinefs is to oblige Senfe, not to cultivate the Un-
derftanding; he firft regales his Eye with a view of/^^er-
failles ^nd Marly, and then his Appetite with all the De-
licacies of the Town. Tho' he brought from home the
bare Title of Squire, the Parifians will prefent him a Pa-
tent of Peerage, and the noifeof a Jeune my Lordvi'iW
hollow into his Attendance all the Breteurs and Sharpers
of the Town. And when once he is fallen into fuch
Hands, he will fcarce get out of them, till he has delivered
his Purle, and pawn'd his Confcience. Believe me. Sir,
a young Man that has Pleafure in View, will be fhrewd-
iy tempted to tafte whether they be as agreeable to the .
Palate, as to the Sight, and charm the Senfe as much as
the Imagination ; and its odds he will never ftand fii*m
againft the Temptations : For Flefli and Blood, accom-
pany'd by Yoiith, have a ftrong Tendency to Evil, they
plead hard for Liberty, and as eagerly againft Conftraint.
And when a Youth lies at the Mercy of fuch Tutors, what
can be expelled but Debauchery .? He will, in a word, firft
break through the Pra6t:ice,and then through the very Prin-
ciples of Morality, Befides, he is out of a Parent's Sight,
heisnotaw'd by his Prefencc, nor within the Reach of
his Correction : So tl-iathe r.mges without Reftraint, and
plays the Prodigal without Controul.

Under favour, faid the Gentleman, you fuppofe me
little read in the Extravngancies of Youth, when you
fancy I will lay the Reins on my Son's Neck, and aban-
don his to his own Condu6l. Though, God be think'd,
his Behaviour be regular and untainted, his Innocence
may be furprized. Youth has a natural Tendency to
Lewdnefs ; it wants Experience to wave Temptation,
and Rcfolution to encounter it. In fine, Paflion andCare-
lefnefs throws itoff'iis Guard, and lays it open to Sur-
prize. Now to obviate this Inconvenience, I have pro-
vided hira a fober Governor, who knows Things and

Men ;

fhe Gentleman Inftru^ed, 54^

Men ; who has feen the World, and makes no inconside-
rable Figure : He is a Man of Parrs, talks well, and I
hope lives better. Such a Perfon is able to flop the Sal-
lies of Youth, to awe it into the Bounds of Decency by
his Authority, and to inftruiil it by his Prudence.

This Caution, anfwer'd £?(/c'Z'/«j-, is laudable and pru*
dent ; but I afllire you, Sir, it feldom anfwers Expecta-
tion: I have known Governors who wanted Gover-^
nors themfelves, and were ten times more fit to receive
than to give Inftruflion. Their Religion was as iofe as
their Manners ; they believed any thing for Intereft, and
pradlifed any thing for Pleafure. Now when the Go-
vernor is diflblute, who can expe6t Regularity from the
Pupil ? But fuppofe him clear of thefe Imputations, it's
ftill a queftion whether the young Man either refpeds or
efteemshim: If not, it's odds his Inftruftions will make
no Imprefiion. They may beat the Ear, but will never
touch the Heart. He may as well chaftife the Wind as
that Spark into Sobriety, who difefteemshis Perfon. The
Man re-inforces the Counfel, and perfijades more often-
times than his Reafons.

But farther, a young Man pad Twenty is a refty
Creature; his PalTions are at their full growth, and con-
fequently ungovernable. They contend hard for Liberty,
and it's ten to one Pleafure will get the better of Precept :
For in that Age Senfe afieds more than Duty ; and the
agreeable enchants more powerfully than the lawful.
When the Law declares him Major, he will not eaiily
fubmit to the Slavery of Minority, (/'. e.) he will not be
rid by Governors, nor led by Pedants, like Children, by
their Hanging-lleeves. He fuppofes he can walk by
himfelf, and ftand upon his own Legs ; and thus becomes
fo unruly, that he will neither lead nor drive. What a
fine Menace did I fee at Paris between a Tutor and his
Pupil ? They liv'd in a State of War j the one camp'd
in the Faiiburg St. Germain^ the other in the Kue de
'Temple ; and had not the Seine run between, they might
have come to Adion ; at laft they agreed upon a Trea-
ty: But before it was brought to a Conclufion, as many
Couriers run between them as from Gertrudenburgh to
the Hague, or Verfailles.

I am fenfible, faid the Gentleman, thefe Inconveni-
ences happen j and when a Pupil undervalues the Peribn

N n 3 of

550 ^he Gentleman Injiru^ecl

of his Governor, he feldom approves his Counfel : For
it goes againll the Grain to conform to the Advice of
thofe we contemn. ' Befides, we prefume Reafons can-
not rife above the level of thofe that propofe them: So
that whtn we entertain a low Opinion of a Perfon, we
difable his Friendfliip, and rut him under an ImpofTibili-
ty of d'oingus any good. For this Reafon I have pitch'd
upon a French Minifter ; his Parts will call for Efteem,
2nd his Charader for Refpefl.

Upon a French Minifter, reply'd Fufeh'tus^ what do
you mean? Are our ov/n Countrymen fodeftitute of Pru-
dence, good Nature and Probity, that you could not fall
upon one comipleatly furnifli'd for the Employment?
Good God ! My Lady's Woman mull be /"/'£'»<;■/:', as well
as my Lord's V^tlet de Chamhre ; we cannot eat, unlefs
French Qoo\s.{tx\'t us up Ragouts, nor drefs but a-la-
mode de France. We hate the Nation, yet cannot live
without the Natives. They fcrew themfelves into the
chief Families, and engrofs both Places of Truft and
Profit, fo that their Punifliment has prov'd a Favour. For
they enjoy abroad more Plenty, than they durft have ex-
petted at home. Who can reconcile this Conduit to our .
Clamours? Who will not think we rail in jeft, when we
thus carcfs in earneft ? And that our Hearts are Fremh, as
well as our Clonths ?

We complain the Church of England is aver-run with
Fanaticifm, that the Presbyteriam over-top it in Number
and Quality ; what wonder, when French Minifters
train up the Nobility ? Their Religion is Puritan^ thrice
refined ; their Zeal has more Heat than Light, and more
Peeviflinefs than Charity. How often have they in
France^ made room for their Religion with the Sword,
and brought Liberty of Confciencc by Slaughter and De-
vaftations ? They are Republicims in Principles and
Pradice, and feldom obey v.'hen it's in their Power to
command.

Now is it likely thefe Gentlemen will train up their
Pupils in the Obedience to the Church? No, no, I
would as foon fend a Youth to learn Chriftianity of the
Mirf}!., as .the Doftrine of the Church of England of
thefe Monjieurs. They hate the very Conftitution of its
Government, and long fince pronounced its Ceremonies
fjolifh and impious. Let us then ccafe to wonder, the

Nobi-

ne Gentleman Injiru^ed, 551

Nobility ftrikes off from the Church to Conventicles :
trench Minifter? have brought Apoftacy intofefhion, and
railed the Spirit of Fadion in Englayid^ as well as in
France ; and I fear the Infedion vi'ill dilate, fo long as
they vvindthemfelves into Ecclel^illical Benefices, and
govern the Children of the Nobility.

But waving a French Minifter's Religion, I am not
throughly perfuaded of his other Abilities, 1 fear he will
rather confult his own Intereft, than his Pupil's Improve-
ment, and hufband the Occaiion to his own Advantage.
For thofe Gentlemen fettle not among us to fpend, but
to gain ; to fupply prefent Neceflities, and to lay in Pro-
vilions againft Age and Accidents. Now a Man that has
Preferment in View, and a Fortune in his Head, will
probably take the {horteil way to his Journey's end. A
generous Freedom^, he knows, as the World goes, is no
thriving "Quality ; wholefome Advice, if unpalatable,
revolts the Stomach, and alienates the Affection ; that
thofe, who countenance Vice, are better paid, than thofe
that preach up Virtue. This is a ftrong Temptation to
the Governor to ilacken the Reins, to endear the young
Gentleman to him by all the little Tricks of Condefcen-
dence and Flattery ; and then the Pupil commands, and
the Governor fays Amen to all his Extravagances.

It's true, he betrays hisTruft; but alas. Sir, Traitors
are no Phoenixes in our Age. However, he is true to his
Intereft ; and I find itv^ felicitous of others Concerns,
if their own Work goes on kindly. He may indeed fear
a Reprimand from the Father ; but then he hopes a For-
tune from the Son ; and, believe me, good Coin afFedls
more than hard Words. You know, Sir, Men are more
prone to adore the rifing than the fetting Sun, and to
fawn on thofe who enter upon an Eftate, than thofe who
refign it.

You are then I perceive, faid the Gentleman, no ad-
mirer of Travelling: You are for breathing our native
Air, and growing grey under our own Elevation.

I fay not fo neither, anfwer'd Eufebim^ I am not ab-
folutely for it, nor univerfally againft it. Travel may
improve fome, and ruin others. They may fit fome for
the higheft Employments, and render others unworthy of
the loweft. I think it convenient for the prime Nobility
to take a walk into the neighbouring Kingdoms j for

N n 4 fuch

SS^ Th G £ N T L E iM A N Inftruffecl

fuchare mark'd out forpublick Bufinefs; they are, as it
were, by Birth fixed in Court, and may pretend to a
Place at the Council-Table, and to fit at the upper End
of the Government. Now People in fuch Circumllances
Ihould lay in a competent Stock of French and Dutch^
that they may treat in Perfon, not by Proxy and Inter-
preters. For Bulinefs goes on flowly when carried on
hy Deputy, and Minifters feldom agree when one un-
derftands not the other. It's proper for them to make
ibme Acquaintance with Penfionary Heitifius and Mon-
iieur de Turcy, before they go over with a Charadler and
Credentials. For the Quality of a Friend may haften the
Difpatchesof the Minilter ; and the Capacity of the one
forward the Work of the other.

But then, I think, Gcntlemenof a lower Rank fliould
not always be upon the Ramble ; cfpecially thole who
raife not their Pretenlions to Court- Offices, but confine
their Ambition to the Dignity of a Country- Jurtice, or
look no higher than the Place of a Deputy-Lieutenant :
In fine, thofe who are cut out for the Country, and de-
fign to fpend thc.r Time and their Money among their
Neighbours.

Firjl, Becaufe foreign Breeding is not a-lawode out of
Town. It's too fine com plexioned for a Village, and as
ufclefs as a Coach and -^'ix in the A'lountains of Glamor-
gunjhire. He will fcarce meet an Occafion once in a
Twelve-month, to pradlife French or Italian ; and a
Country-Dance well perform'd will receive more Ap-
plaul'ethan 7\. French IM:nuit^ Saraband^ or: Riccadone. Be-
lides, our Country Air willtarnifli the Lu'ftre ofoutlan-
difh Behaviour : Time and Converiation will walh off
theVarnifh, and then /^r7/?o//t''s Aphorifm, corrupiioop-
timifit. pejjlma, will have place ; the beft Manners dege-
nerate into the v/orft, and the fineft Gentleman makes the
moft complcat Ciovvn. For what can be more antick,
than Rulticity cut on Breeding? Methinks it refembks
Canvaslaidon Sattin, or Embroidery on Linfey-woolfey.

Secondly^ A Gentleman irain'd up in the fenfual Free-
doms of /^^'^/V^r , and the gaudy Pageantry of Pdr/'j will
return with a Surfeit of a Country Life. He will regard
his Home as a Banifliment, and his own Houle as a
Dungeon. An Italian Symphony ilrikes the Orgaii more
ihioothly than that of a Pack of Hounds, (honied iep.

Opera's,

'the Gentleman InJlruBed. ^^3

.Opera's, and publick Entradoi's of Princes and Embafla-
dors draw more pleafing Profpeftives in the Eye, tlian
thole of Dunghills or Cabanes. Gay Company afteds
more than Solitude ; and Balls fet oft' with all the glit-
tering Gaudy of Silk and Silver are far more tranfport-
ing than Country If^akes.

Now a Gentleman that returns overgrown with thefe
Notions, biafs'd with thefe Inclinations, will he rehfh
the Campaign, and pen up his Perfon and Happinefs in
a Village ? No, no, he will take up in Town ; and on-
ly vifit his Mancir to refrefh his Lungs, or his Purfe.
Since the middle of thelaft Age, ourWayof Livingisno
more Engtip ; hke our Language, it's piec'd up o{ French
and Italian ; and to compleat the Oleo^ we have thrown
into the Compofition the Vices of Holland ?L\\dt Germany.
The Nobility withdraws from the Country into Town:
That noble Hofpitality proper to our Nation is out of
Ufe, and almoll out of Memory, and thofe LargelTes
that entertain'd the Poor run in another Channel: Game
fweeps away one Part, gaudy Equipages, or Milles the
other. In the mean time the Provinces are drain'd of
Men and Money. Some run to Town to fpend Eftates,
and others to gain them. The antient Seats of the No-
bility are let out to yack-Daws and Screech Owls, or
tumble under the Weight of Time, and Cattle graze
upon their Ruins; yam feges ejl ubi 'Troja fuit.

We may date this Change from the Time travelling
became genteel, and wandering ^-/^-»2o^^. Foreign Com-
merce has brought in foreign Cuftoms ; and as corquer'd
Greece and /}fui overcame the Roman Virtue and Sobrie-
ty, fo France and Italy have debauch'd ours.

However, I acknowledge a young Man may improve
by Travelling, if Caution be ufed : For beyond Sea there
are great Virtues, as well as great Vices, and Examples
that deferve Imitation as well as Averfion. You may
p<»Jifii the Body and the Mind, better the Gentleman, and
perfect the ChriUian.

I.

In the firft Place, pitch upon a virtuous and prudent
Governor. Youth is blind, and if it follows a blind
Guide, their Journey will end in a Precipice, ambo in
foveam cadent. A Man that overlooks his own Duty to
God, will not piat a Pupil in mind of his. Our Inftruc-

tions

554 l'^^ Gentleman Infru&ed.

tions and Pradice are generally of a piece; and if this
be tainted, thofe are feldom found.

Let him be prudent, neither too indulgent on the one
hand, nor too fevere on the other. It's no lefs dangerous
to keep too heavy a hand over a Gentleman, than too
light ; and to baulk all his Defires, than none. A Gover-
nor may lofe his Authority by too much Stiiihefs, as well
as by too much Condefcendence. And if he commands
with Haughtinefs, he will certainly be difobey'd. To
refufe a young Man a juit Liberty is a Temptatibn to
take it, and if once the Ice is broken, he will ihake off
Dependance, and difcard Refpedt.

I would not have a great Fault pafs without a fuitable
Correction, nor a fmall one punilh'd beyond Proportion :
For if the Reprimands are equal, the young Man will
fancy the Faults are alfo, and then he will conclude it's
better to be teazd for fomething, than to be rated for no-
thing. When we draw near one and twenty, Severity is
out of Seafon ; we may be led indeed into our Duty by
Kindnefs, but hardly hcclor'd into it by PvOughfiefs. A
Governor may maintain his Ch^radier, if he pretends
only to advife, but will certainly forfeit it, if he pre-
fumes to command with Empire and Supercilioulhefs:
And therefore 1 would rather have him wait upon his
Pupil as a Companion, than as a Spy and a Cenior ; and
ply him more with Counfel than Authority. We often
yield frankly to the one, and alv/ays with repugnance to
the other.

4.
■ Let him not ftay too long in a great City; when he
has view'd what is worth Obfervation, let him purfue his
Journey. A long Stay breeds Acquaintance, and Ac-
quaintance expofes to Debauchery. A Man that knows
no Body will have no Temptation to tempt another to
ill, and is out of the Danger of bting tempted ; for who
will fet up an iKcognho'i Familiarity goes before cri-
minal Affignations^ and Privacy planes the W,ay for Ex-
travagance.

There is not, perchance, a City in the World better
flock *d with Men of Parts and polite Behaviour than

< Far is ;

Tha Gentleman Infru^ed, 55 5

Paris; and. none more eafy and fociable to Strangers.
A young Man may improve by luch Converfation : He'
may enlarge his Underftanding, and open to himfelf a
more extenfive Profpeit than by Study and Apphcation :
And thus he will enter into a handfome Provifion of
Senfe, not only without Trouble, but even with De-
light : He will raife a Fortune in Knovv'ledge, without
the Drudgery of Study, and tranfplant another's Science
into his own Skill.

But then if he may better himfelf by the Company of
Men, he will certainly expofe himfelf to a thoufand
Dangers. If he frequents the Converfation of Women,
their Language charms, their Expreffions infinuate, and
their Ak is impohng ; they paint Gallantry with Wit,
and both with Freedom ; fo that at the fame Time they
attack the Underftanding and Will, and conquer both
almoft without Refiftance. How many have I known
of our Nation fafcinated by thefe Syrens^ enchanted by
thefe Circes. They ftole away their Hearts and their
Heads ; empty'd their Brain and their Purfe, and com-
pleatly equip'd *em fora Adad-houfe, oran Hofpltal. The
Paflion was too ftrong for Precept, and the Oratory of
the Ladies baffled the Counfel of Governors. For Love
is without Ears, as well as without Eyes, and, what is
worfe, without Underftanding. It's true, we fend our
Children abroad to learn French Courtfhip, as well as
Modes ; but this Errand is as unchriftian as unneceilary.
We carry the Principles of this Science within us, and
Nature alone will teach it at Home without the Aftiftance
of outlandifn Preceptors. Too great a Proficiency in
the Art is rather to be fear'd than Ignorance ; and it's
ten to one, that in fpight of Caution young Men will im-
prove it fome Years too foon, than a Moment too late.
And this is the Rcafon fome leave their Hearts and their
Confcience in France and licly • and others return with
a poor Wife, and fome with an impudent Curtizan.

7-
I would not have a Gentleman fquare his Obfervati-
on by Dr. Lyfters Alemoirs of Paris; they are below re-
mark, and fit better on an Igmrar/iHs, than on a Fellow of
the Royal Society., or a Gentleman. Let him not therefore
trifle away his Time in examjping whether ylfparagus

taftes

j^6 The Gentleman Inftru^ed.

taftes Tweeter in April or 'Jamtary ; or the Roman Lettuces
better than our Sdejian, or the Fiacres more conveniently
hung than my Lord EmbafTador's Coach; let him not
trot about to view rare Colleclions of Cockle-fheils, or
Skeletons, or Todpoles and Spiders: For after all, thefe
Difcoveries are not worth the Candle ; nay, within an
Ace as ridiculous as Caligula s Journey to theSea-fhore to
load his Army with this childifli Trumpery. LaJ]el\
Voyage will be far more ufeful than Lyfter's ; it will fur-
nifh matter for Inquiry and Obfervation, and both de-
light and inftrufh in your Journey. Here is a fhort
Draught of the Advantages and Difadvantages of Tra-
velling, I have given you my Judgment of the Matter,
and leave to your Prudence the Determination.

I am infinitely cblig'd, faid the Gentleman, for your
Advice and Freedom ; and am perfuaded young Men
mull not be fent abroad without Care and Caution. I
will take the moll jufl Meafures Prudence can fuggeft, to
keep my Son within the Bounds of Duty. I am wholly
of your Opinion, that Virtue is the mod accomplilTied
Ornament of a Gentleman, that this alone renders him
amiable in this World, and happy in the next.

DIALOGUE Vir.

Of the Soul's Immortality.

TOUfchiui was invited in Chrijlmas by a Gentleman to
•*--' an Entertainment. He found a great deal of Com-
pany, who were refolv'd to be merry i there were fome
fober Gentlemen among them ; but then others were of
the Town-cut, 7<)/-/«^ Goddamme^s, that Ipoke ill, andliv'd
worfe. They had pl'.c'd their Requiem in this World,
and turn'd off all Thoughts of the other ; and when Claret
had warmed the Head, Impiety broke outat theTongue;
their Heart fat upon their Lips, and difcover'd to the
Company the Corruption that lurk'd within, and one
Plight read the Secrets of their Souls in their Words.
Some were for the High-Churchy others for the Lovj^ and
moll for no Church. Their Faith was Fadion and Inte-
rell, and Pafiion the fole Motives of Credibility.

A

The Gentleman hjiru^ed. 557

A grave Gentleman thought it his Duty to rebuke the
tnfolence of the daring Salr/ioneans : Gentlemen, faid
he, this Difcourfe neither fuits with your Company, nor
your Profeffion : It makes the very Soul of a Chriflian
mrink back, and leaves Nature in a kind of chill. If
you take the Liberty to blafpheme God, and play upon
Religion, I muft take the Freedom to defend both ; to
defireyou to leave the Subjeft, or the Room. For to be
ihort, thefe Sallies breed Difguft, they are Penance and
Mortification to the Company. God will call you to Ac-
count one Day ; and if he winks at your Impieties in
this World, he will punifli them in the other.

One of the Blades (whorn I call Athymius) received
the Corredtion with a Smile. If God,, fays he, vouch-
fafes to let me run my Courfe fmoothly in this World,
I will venture his Anger in the next. For to be plain, I
am of Mr. Dryden's Opinion ; Our Miuds are perpetually
wrought on by the T'er/iperar/ie»t of our Bodies, ivhich makes
me fufped they are nearer allied^ than either our Philofo-
phers or School Divines will alloiv them to be.

That is, reply'd the Gentleman, our Soul is indiftindl
from the Body : Or in plain EngUJb, nothing but a Heap
of Organized Matter ; this is a fine Scheme : The Sy-
ftem a-la-mode raked out of the Aflies q{ Hohbs and Pom-
ponatiin^ and fquared for the Latitude of Libertinifm ;
that poj} Mortem nulla J^oluptas^ removes, rubs, and planes
the way for. Liberty ; for when the Profpeil of another
Life is fhut up, Men may fport without Reftraint, and
play without Remorfe ; but this is to pretend to Wit, to
con the Poets.

Sir, faid Athymius^ Icfs of Exclamation, ifyoupleafe,
and more of Reafon : Heat muft not decide the Qiieftion,
but Argument. I am not for implicit Faith, nor over-
refigning to Authority ; my way is to examine before I
aflent, and to preferve Reafon in its juft Liberties : Abfo-
lute SubmifTion keeps us in a kind of Minority ; it palls
the Underftanding, and expofes us to Impofture; al-
ways to walk on Crutches is the way to lofe the Ufe of
our Limbs, and to fteer by another's Reafon, to forfeit
the Benefit of our own.

Reafon, anfwer'd Eufeblus, is an excellent thing;
but thofe who bear the Charter bv which they enjoy it,
feem not over- fond of the Polieflion :, if your Soul be

matsrial.

j)^ "the Gentleman InJiniBed.

material, what becomes of this topping Prerogative?
Man muft draw in his Figure, and herd with Beafts: At
moft there will be no more difierence between them than
between a Fox and a Beetle^ or Scotch-Cloth and Fine
Holland; the Materials are the fame, the Diftindion lies
in the Finenefs of the Contexture.

Iconfefs, reply'd Jthymins, I fhould efteem my felf
happy were I unprovided of Reafons that demon'ftrate
my felf lefs than popular Errors make me ; for after all,
to turn Advocate againll one's felf, to plead againfl: our
greateft Prerogative, and to difpute one's felf out of a
Poffibility of being happy in the npxt World, is the great-
eft Misfortune that can befal a Man in this, but Truth
muft have place. I lovfe to know my juft Dimenfions,
and as I fcorn to refign the leaft Perfediion that belongs
to my Nature, fo I. will never ufurp thofe that are fo-
reign ; I'll not grow great by Flattery, nor claim a Dig-
nity fupported by Ignorance and Vifion. If you can
prove by Dint of Reafon my Soul is immortal, I'll
fubmit toDemonftration; and you fhall fee by my Con-
duct I expecl Heaven as the Recompence of Virtue, and
fear Hell a.s the Punifhments of Vice.

Under Favour, faid Eufebiu^^ methinks your Opini-
on calls louder for Demonftration than mine; for if it
prove falfe, you forfeit Heaven for the Miftake, and muft
groan under all the Thorns of the damned into the Bar-
gain -, whereas I fhall go off with the Satisfadlion of li-
ving like a Man, tho' I die like a Beaft. And tho' I am
not happy in the nex World, I fhall be out of the reach
of Alifery. In fine, I bid fair for Heaven, tho* I fall
fhort of my Pretenfions. But however, feeing you put
me upon the Proof, I'll condefcend to your Dcfire; yet
thoua;h you promife to fubmit to Evidence, I cannot be
fatisfied of the Performance.

I fuppofe. Sir, you will take the Word of a Gentle-
man, reply'd Athymius.

The Word of a Gentleman,anf\vered" Eufebius^m^ide of
Soul and Body goes as far with me as a Bond, but your Mat-
ter and Motion Gentlemen's Credit finks low in my E-
fteem ; for look ye. Sir, any little Accident from without
may ruffle your prefent -Situation, and jumble you into a
new fet of P.efolutions j it may flufli a new Train of

Thoughts,.

^he Gentleman InftruBed, 55^

Thoughts, and then adieu to the old : For Matter and
Motions are bizarr Things, humourfome and capricious
to Excefs; they are arbitrary and uncontroU'd ; you
muft will and nill as they pleafe; every new Impulfe
flings a new Figure, and wears off the old j lb that you
are guided by Fate, and drove on by Chance in your Sy-
ftem, and confequently muft be an Infidel, or a true Be-
liever, an honell Man, or a Knave, in fpite of your Teeth.
Now I can no more truft fuch a Man than a Puppet: I
will not venture a Crofs upon his Honour, nor hazard a
fingle Six-pence upon his Reputation ; for who is not
Mafter of himfelf, can be no Slave to his Word.

But for all that, faid Athymius^ my Word will go a
great Way, and my Neighbours look upon it as good a
Security as a Mortgage.

I believe you, anfwer'd Eufebius; but this is an In-
ftance that thofe Neighbours are perfuaded your Soul is
fomething more than Matter, when they take your Word,
nay, and your felf too when you give it ; for who but
Fools will- truft a Man that is moved by Chance, that is
pufli'd on by Fate, and drawn by Neceffity ? Thus you
fee, Sir, you difavow your Tenet when you ad: like a
Man^ which makes me ilifpedl you only abet it, when
you intend to play the Beaft, and that your Difeafe hes
more in the Heart than the Head.

If you pleafe, faid Achymius, cut fhort and come to
the Point; Preambles take up Time, and rid no Ground ;
but pray let us not fteer within fight of Metaphyficks,
nor fall to cappin of Syllogifms. I am for p!ain Rea-
fon without Fard or Fucus^ and it works more kindly in
honeft EngUlh^ than in the barbarous Ergotifm ot the
Schools.

I am for 3^ou, reply'd Ezifehius^ and you fhall hear
thofe Arguments that are more eafily underftood than
confuted. Tell me then, is it better to be a Beaft or
a Man ?

I perceive, anfwer'd Athymhis^ you are fallen into a
fit of bantering; the Qiieftion is fcandalous, and the ve-
ry Comparifon is degrading to human Nature; he who
prefers a Beiift to Man, deferves to be thrown among
them.

D I A-

S^o the Gentleman InJlru^eS,

DIALOGUE VIII.

If the Soul be mortal^ it^s better to he « Beajl than a

Man.

Eufeb.^V" OUR Anfwer is moft true, but then youF'
•*- Tenet is no lefs falfe ; give Attention to the
Proof; nothing falls under Choice but Good, and with-
out doubt a greater Good is preferable to a lefs : Now
Good and Happinefsare fynonymous, therefore a greater
Happinefs is preferable to a lefs. Our prefent Difpute
falls therefore within this Compafs; whether a Beaft:
in your Scheme of the Soul's Mortality be more happy
than a Man? I contend it is, and prove it thus.

It's evident the Bodies of Beafts are more robuft than
thofe of Men, they are neither fo fenfible of Heat nor
Cold ; their Conftitutions vary not with the Seafons, nor
change with the Barometer. Hence may Difeafes fpare
them that aflail us; they apprehend not their Pains be-
fore they come, nor remember them when paft ; they
only groan under the prefent, and fo their Dolors are
momentary.

Belides, their Pleafures are more affeding than ours,
and their Enjoyments more pure ; they are purchafed
without Care, and loft without Trouble ; they are nei-
ther followed with Remorte, nor waited on by Repen-
tance; they are not clap'd on the Rack by Jealoufy, nor
haunted by the Fury of Ambition ; they are too content
to hope, and not miferable enough to fear ; they know
no more what it is to be grearcr than to be lefs, and
therefore take no Meafures to conferve Fortune, or to
better it.

But poor Man lies open to the Afiaults of a thouHuid
Calamities that overlook Beafts; his Body is an liofpita]"
General of all Difeafes, and he entertains them at the Ex-
pence of his Eafe, and, in the end, of his Life too :
But the Difeafes of his Mind are rhore numerous and
more tormenting ; Hope drives one way, Defpair ano-
ther ; Solicitude difcompofes the Head, Jcalouly the
Heart ; Envy qualms on his Bowels, Prodigality on his
Purfe ; he keeps no Mein either in Profperity or Adver-
fity ; that draws his Reafon, this overfets his Patience ;

he

^e Gentleman hipni^-ed. ^6i

^e is infolent in one ilate, abjeft in the other; and that
his Misfortunes may be without Remedy as well as with-
out Bounds, he calls back pad Mifcarriages to torment
himfelf again, and conjures up the Gholls of his departed
Pleafiires to iransforrn them into Furies ; and when lie
can difcover in the future no real Objects uf Difgults,
his Imagination creates them. He fprings Chimera's, and
trembles at Monfters that have no Being but in Fancy j
yet though. they are fictitious, his Fears are real, and by
confequence his Mifery.

Indeed he is not without Pleafures^ becaufe not with-
out Senfe ; biit then they are feafoned with io many bit"
Ter Ingredientc, that they rather difgult than delight.
What ihall I fay of thofe brutiOi Tranfports of Lewdnefs,
that hate the Sun, and range about in Shades and Ob-
fcurity ? Of thofe Obfcenities that make up here trie Mw
ioometicai Elylium of Libertines, and in good time wili
throw them into the real Hi^Uofthe ChriiHans. in this
point the Advantage flands for the Beads; their Piifiion
is as keen, their Senfe as acute as Man's; andj by con-
fequence, their Senlation as afFedling ; but then their
Pleaiure is not da(ht with Shame, nor bought at the ex-
pence of Honour or Confcience ; they contrive no Plots
to Ileal Satisfadlion, no Intrigues to conceal it; it ends
without Regret, without Remorfe^ and never Itabs at
parting. But Fear always fucceeds Man's criminal Piea-
iures, and even the Atheill that laughs at Hell, is at tha
fame time forc'd to tremble at it. If therefore the Plea-
fures of Beads are at lead equal, and Troubles lefs, wo
may judly concludej even m this Point, they are more
happy.

It's true, neither Beads nor Men have found a Recipe
againd Death, but then they march otf without Concern,
and receive the Blow without Reludtancy, becaufe with-
out Knowledge ; but this parting Pang hangs cruelty in
our Heads, and fometimes dyes them gray before the Aga
of Twenty. For after all, it's an unpleafant Retiedion,
that we mud (ink into a State of Iniignificancy, and bi.--
come cumberfome to our felves, and unaccept,ible to
others) that we mud grow lefs and .lefs, and (d\\ avviy by-
Inches. In fine, that though we nurfe up continually the
Decays of Nature, Death will be too hard for Doitorg
and Surgeons, and tear us from the Enjoymenti of all
O Q ^\yj\^

s6i The Gentleman Injlru^ied,

ihofe fenfunl Objedls, in which we place our Requiem*
So thai I mud conclude, that feeing Beafts, in your Sup-
poiition, are more happy than Men, it's better lo be a
Bead than a Man.

'I'lie Confequence is fhameful, beyond Scandal, and
a Man muft be weary or ignorant of the Dignity of
his Nature to admit it. What does the Happinels of
a Horfe dcferve Envy ? Is the Punilliment en Nebuchad-
Ktz.zar become an Ornament to the whole Species? Such
a Creature fliould be thrown below his Kind, and con-
demn'd to wander on the Mountains with Bears and
Lions.

Athyrmuu You have held forth with much Emphafis
upon the Happincfs of Beafts, and Calamities of Man ;
but you fidgin your Inference: For who would chufe ra-
ther to be a Stone, than the moft wretched Man that
ever breathed ? Yet thofe brave Ages are out of reach of
Fits of the Gout, and uncapable to receive uneafy Im-
prcfiions.

Etifebms. Were I fure my Soul was mortal, I fhould
chufe rather to remain in a State of Nothing, than to be
iniferable; for I can't underftand why Being is better than
not Being i only becaufe in one State we have agreeable
Senfations, and none in the other ; and I declare that
Exigence without Pleafure here, or hereafter, is no Fa-
vour, and with Torment a Burthen; and were I fure ne-
ver to be pleafed, I fhould wilh my felf into Nothing,
and pray for Anniliilation: For to maintain that a mife-
rable Being is preferable to no Being, or no fenfible Be-
ing, is the wildeft Thefis that Folly can abet, and I believe
the braveft Champions of this ftrange Paradox may be
racked, or even baftinado'd out of the Error.

Athymius. Suppofing Beafts equal Men in the Percep-
tion of agreeable Senfations, are lefs lubjeft to unplea-
fing ones, yet they are void of Reafon. This Advantage
is proper to Man; and, I muft tell you, one Grain of
Science weighs more than a Tun of fenfual Satisfaction ;
thisdifcovers the Beauty of Virtue, and the Deformity
of Vice, and throws before the Will a thoufand Reafors
to embrace that, and hate this: A virtuous Man, tho'
miferable, walks in a higher Sphere, than the moft hap-
py Beaft. V*^ho would not char^ie up to a Cannon's
Mouth for a good Caufe, and rather expofe his Life

than

The Gentleman InflfuBed, ^6^

than defert Juftice ? I would rather give up my Body to
a Tyrant, than betray a Friend, and die Innocent, than
live a Traytor : It's v^'orth coming into the World to go
virtuoufly out of it. A Man vi^hofe Virtue will bear the
Trial of Pain, v/ithout {hrinking upon the Torture, is
more happy than a Debauchee upon the Throne. Suffer-
ing renders not a Man bad, or unhappy, but the Caule j
Reafon pronounces the Tyrant miferable that murthers
Innocence, not the Hero that dies for it. Seeing there-
fore Beafts are below thofe noble Qualities, Wifdoni
and Virtue, I mult conclude, that the moll wretched
Man is more happy, than the moft fortunate Beaft j and
therefore it's better to be a Man than a Beaft.

Eufeb. You harangue upon the Excellence of Science
like a Peripatetick, and huff upon Virtue like a Sloick:
I never read Seneca de contemnenda morte^ but, methinks,
I hear a Coach and Six rattle in the StJ-eet; they both
make a majeflick Noife, and almoft fright and pleafe at
the fame Time.

Science, no doubt, is a fine Thing, and Virtue a bet-
ter ; but if we fuppofe no future State, their Price mult
fall, and the Purchafe of both will never pay the Char-
ges of a hundred Objects that fall within the Sphere of
our Knowledge; few pleafe us, many are indifferent, and
moll torment us* Is it fo diverting an Entertainment to
t"efle6t, that Friends betray me, and Enemies perlecute
me? That wife Men fcorn^ and Buffoons burleique me?
Were we void of Knowledge, how Ihould we Lmguilh ■
Under Hope, or fret under Defire? Hov/ fhould we lie
open to the Affaults of Fear, or groan under the Pangs of
Defpair? It's certain, in your Scheme^ this mighty Pre-
rogative would rather deferve the Name of a Curfe, than
of a Bleffmg; for though it made us greater, it would
render us more unhappy^

Courage, Fidelity, and Virtue are great Advantages^
even upon the Rack, in Suppofition of the Soul's Immor'*-
tality, and Innocence in Flames is preferable to Guilt ill
Power and Pleafure ; for this leads us to an eternal Mi-
fery, and thofe to everlafting Happinefs ; for certainly,
that Creature is far removed from a State of Happinefs^
that mull account for a criminal Satisfadtion in Fire ani
Brimftone ; and he defervcs not the 'Name of miferable,
Vvhopalll'S through a fhori-liv'd Martyrdom into a perpe-
tual Relrcflimenti O o 2 Bwt

5^4 ^^^ Gentleman Inflm^ed,

But then, if our Souls fink into nothing, when our
Bodies fall into the Grave, Vice has all the Advantage
over Virtue ; for that brings prefent Pleafure, this Pain j
and then in the other World, the one fears no Punifh-*
ment, and the other expeds no Reward, So that neither
Knowledge, nor the Pradice of Virtue, add a Grain of
Happinefs to Man, if his Soul be mortal.

But, what do we talk of Virtue ? It's a Chimera in
your Hypothelis ; you deftroy not only the Thing, but
the very Powers of it. Can Choice fpring from Fate, or
Virtue from Neceffity ; how can we be Mafters of our
Adlions, when we are not of our Souls ? And if thefe are
nothing but a Mixture of Matter and Motion, where is
Liberty to 26I or not ait, and hy confequence Virtue?
For who defcrves Blame for what he could not avoid, or
Pmife for following the Impulfe of Neceffity?

Ath^muii. Yoa may flourifli on the Happinefs of
Bealls, and the Miferies of Man, till Doom's-day, but you
will never perfuade me to truck Nature with an Afs.

Er<jl'l>ius. For all that. Sir, Men of your Principles
generally make good Progrefsin the Art of Transformati-
on. I knew fome at Twenty, that became Centaurs,
half Beads, half Man. Reafon declared them Men, the
Abufes of it Afles ; Intemperance Swine, and Lewdnefs
Goats or Baboons,

/ithymitis. Reafon ends when Railfery begins. You
havedrain'd the Subjed, for 1 perceive Senfe runs lov/,
let us ftart another Argument.

The Second Proof.
Etifeb'tMs. If Man's Soul be mortal, h\s fummum ho"
Kum uiuil confifi; in the Pleafures of the Body, in the
iSalisfadion of the Senfes : For feeing his Nature is
whoNy materuil, like that of Beafts, his End cannot be
diiTercnt, Whence it follows, that as Man^s Happinefs
and Perfection rife with his Brutality ; and that he fits in
the height of his Greatnefs, when he appears as little as
Lewdnc'is can make him; the Reafon is, bccaufe every
liiing is in the fuU State of its Perfection, when united
to its laft End ; then its Capacities are filled, and this
iiiocicty lays alleep both the Unquietnefs of Defire, and
the tormenting Impreffions of Hope or Fear. If there-
fore the Pleafures of Senfe aie ManS ultimate Happinefs,
tjie more he induliies, the more happy he is, aud more

per-

fhe Gentleman InftruB^d. j (^5

iperfeft. Wherefore our King an J Parliament fhould
call in all thole Laws, thatdifcountenance Vice, and fine
Lewdnefs. It was an A6t of Injuftice to make 'em, and
IS of Cruelty to execute 'em ; they fcare Men from their
Duty, and fright them from \\\€\x]'ur/imnm bonuyyi ; they
ftigmatize thofe Actions with Shame that deferve Ap-
•plaufe, and canonize Sobriety and Self-denial, with fuch
as call for Infamy ; for certainly it's laudable tcprofecute
our lall End with the utmoft Care and Diligence ; for this
we came into the World : The Purfuit of if isour Duty,
and its Poffeflion the Top of our Felicity ; therefore Rapes,
Adulteries, Incefts, and all thofe Pleafures that fmooth
the Organ, and oblige the Body, are exempt from Prohi-
bition ; they have nothing ill but v/hat is thrown on 'pm
h'j Prejudice, Education, and Miftake.

But this is not all, for Reafon tells me, my fovereign
Good is preferable to all others, and that I may comply
with any Means to purchafe it: If therefore it be placed
in the fenfual Operations of this Life, to conferve it, [
may fwear pro and con^ blafpheme God's Goodnefs, and
abjure his Being. I may (lieer off from one Religion to
another, profefs all, and believe none, to fence again (t
Death. ■ Muft not that Doflrine be monftrous in it felf,
that is fo flamingly impious in its confequences? It's a
Spawn of Hell ; I wonder it infeds not the Air^ and
turns all into Plague and Poifon.

Athym'uis. Under Favour, thefe Inferences flow from
Miftake, not from the Mortality of tli^ Soul.

Eufebiu!. From Miftake! if the Soul be material,
muft not its fupream Felicity confift in the Fruition of
lome Temporal, fome fenfual Obje6l?

/Ithyrrtiui. Some Philofophers are of this Opinion.

Eufebtus. It is therefore lawful to poftponeany inferior
Gooi to the Supream, to hazard all Acceilariesj to en-
fure the Principle.

Aihymtus. What then?

Enfcbius. Why, I may at any rate conferve Life, if
.in Danger ; for this is the Bafis, the Foundation of Hap-
phiefs ; fo that if a Tyrant commands me to deny God,
with a Piftol in one Hand, and a Sword in the other, I
may comply without Offence to my Maker, or Scandal
to my Neighbour ; and than your Cnmes rfii^oruyn ^e»(i-
u<n, upon the fame Account, muft ftand for Virtue.

O o 3 Aihym'titi,

^66 fhe Gentleman Inftru^ed,

Athymius. You mifreprefent my Dodlrine, and expofe
it in fo monftrous a Drefs, to hollow in the Rabble upon
me. I tell you therefore once more, it's more noble to
die a Man, than to live an Impoftor: For, as I faid,
Man's uliimate Felicity confifts in the Pradlice of Virtue,
and his Mifery in the Exercife of Vice: Now in the fore-
mentioned Circumftances, we muft give up our Carcafs
to Fire and Faggot, rather than fccure it by a Crime ;
for of two Evils, Reafon tells me, I muft chufe the leaft ;
now it's a lefs to refign Life, than to forfeit our Happi-
nefs, that confifts in Virtue, by Thefts, Murthers, or
Adulteries.

Enfebius. No more of Virtue as you love Senfe ; in
your Scheme, it's nothing but Sound and Vifion.

Athymtus. Though the Soul be mortal, fome A6lions
jnay, I prefume, conform to the Didlates of right
Reafon, and others deform.

Enfehius. To theDidlates of Divine Reafon, but not
of Man's ; for Reafon in your Hypothefis muft be filed ofF
the Lift of our Prerogatives: This glorious Quality finks
into bare Inftin£l, and nothing clafhes with any innate
Principle that obliges Senfe.

Befides, though fome Acflions were deform, and others
conform to right Reafon ; yet thofe could not be worthy
of LLime, nor thefc of Praife, becaufe an Agent com-
pounded of Matter and Motion afls by Impulfe and Ne-
cefliry, and hy confequence can neither pradtife Virtue
nor Vice.

But fuppofing him capable of Virtue, yet we fhall find
it a lefs Evil to defert Virtue, than to die in its Defence j
fur if the Soul be mortal, Death is deftitute of the very
Appearance of Good ; it ftrips a A'lan not only of Happi-
nefs, but of the very Hope of retrieving the Misfortune,
for it throws him into a State of Nothing. Now Sin, in
your Theology, corredls the Evil with fome Grains of
Good; it preferves Life, the Bafis of Happineis, and tho*
it ftops the Stream of Felicity you place in Virtue, it
does not drain it; he may rile after his Fall, and fo r-y
cover his loft Happinefs: Death therefore being the greateft
Evil, he may purchafe the Continuation of Life at the
|^xj'>ence ot Honour, Honcfty, and Confcience.

Athym. Death for the Defence of Virtue, has nothing
evil but Fancy; bear off the ghaftly Vizours, and you

v/iii

fhe Gentleman Inftm^ed. ^6y^

will difcover nothing bur Charms: C-in Imagination
frame a Sight more ravifliing than a Hero th:u declares
for Virtue on the Scaffold, that dares be honeft in fpight
of Torments? Such a noble Caufe melts an expiring
brave Soul into Tranfport and Extafy ; it overfets his
Faculties with Pleafure, and drowns them in an Ocean of
Delight: To foar above the common Impreflions of Fear
is a noble Flight, and to laugh in the Face of Torments,
a beautifying Piece of Courage.

Eufeb. For all that, you will give me leave to tell you,
I admire more your Martyr's Stupidity, than his Bravery ;
and I am apt to believe, be would refign you all his Plea-
fure, if you \yould take his Pain into the Bargain. But
fuppofe he overflows with Delight in this critical Mo-
ment, he flaflies into nothing the next. What Propor-
tion therefore is there between the lofs of Life that is eter-
nal, and the Satisfaction of a Moment? If therefore the
Soul be mortal, Vice, with Pleafure, is preferable to Vir-
tue without Reward, and by confequence your Hero dies
rather worthy of Pity than Applaufe ; hecaufe he chufes
Death void of all Good, before Life the Bafis of all Hap-
pinefs, and fo crofles manifeftly upon that Statute, by
which the prefent Controverfy is tried. Oftivo Evils the
hfs is to be chofea.

D I A L O G U E IX.

If Man's Soul be mortal, he has no lafi End.

j1thym.^T^H.e{e Arguments ah abfurdo, are ill featured,
•*- they raile more Dufl than Light, and rather
puzzle than convince ; give me a direft Proof that the
Soul is immaterial, and i fiingupthe Caufe.

Eufcb. Abfurdities are the Spawn of Falfhood, not of
Truth; and when the Sequel is abfurd, the Thefis can-
not be reafonable ; if therefore a confequence of the
Soul's Mortality cut upon the known Truth, the Tenet it
felf muft be erroneous. Thefe Arguments then are well
complexioned, and fit for the Pofl I aflign them ; they
fpring Evidence, and flufh Conviction ; Obftinacy may
withftand them, but Reafon cannot: However, give me
O o /J. Ieav2

j68 ^he Gentleman Inflm^fed.

leave to explain another Inference of your Opinion, and
thtn i will come to tliofe Proofs you call for.

Surely, you are not fo great a Stranger to your own
Defires, as not to feel an inclination to be happy ; this
Pnflion is Hereditary to the whole Species j it accompa-
nies us in all Stations, and even to the Death-bed, when
ill! other Appetites either ilecp or expire, this grows more
keen and ravenous : Now, why has Nature ftampt on
our Souls fuch a longing after Happinefs? Why has it in-:
flamed us with fo fond a Paflion, that we court it under
a thoufand Difguifes ? Why has it equipM us for Con-
queft, if Victory be impoflible ? Certainly at our Crea-
tion, God never intended to treat us Wke /^pril Fools, by
fending us on Adventures that mull end, not only in
Diiappointment, but Afrli(fl:ion.

All Philofopbers take it for a Pojlulatum^ ihTiitiatura
mil agh friijWa ; if therefore Nature never a6ls in vain,
the carking Defire of Happinefs that haunts us from the
Cradle to the Coffin, may be fatiated by the Fruition of
fome Objedl. I fay fiuiated, for Happinefs cannot bQ
compleat whilft we defire what we do not poflefs, or
fear to bedifcarded of what we enjoy ; for Defire implies
■want in the very Notion, and Fear a Poffibility of want,
and both fuppoie Uneafinefs and Diilatisfa(ftion, and by
confcquence exclude Felicity.

Now it's evident, nothing in this World is able to fa-
tiate the Heart of Man, the Pofieflion never anfwers Ex-
pcftation J the moft promifing Enjoyments languifli upon
Experience, and flcep upon the Senfes ; we rowlfrom the
Foilellion of one Obje6t, to the Defire of another^ dilla-
tisfied in all States, content in none. Alexander the
Great could never put any Bounds to his Ambitiot;,
though he did to his Conquefts ; his Defires widen'd
with his Dominions, and v/hen he had almoft conquer-
ed one World, his Pride would have attempted the Con-
^ueft of a Thoufand ; the prodigious Treafures of the Eaji
could rot flop his Avarice; his Wiflies were as prodigal
as his LaiyclTes: So that hi3 wants ran higher than his
Revenue, though he had ten Millions of Talents, he
pofiei's'd notl-.ing, becaufc he dclired more ; his Plcalures
f)f Senfe kept pace v.-ith ihoie of his Power ; yet, after all,
he was not happy, becaufe diilatisHcd.

No\Y

f'h Gentleman InftruBed. ^6p

Now if mighty Princes who walk on Crowns, and
tread on Silver, who have Power to command Pleafures,
And a Fund to fupport them, feel the Points of Thorns
on Beds of Rofes, the Pangs of Want in the Arms of
Plenty, Crofles in Succefs, and Difiippointment in their
^ moft fortunate Enterprizes, muft we not pronounce them
miferable in the very height of their Fehcity ? And if it
can be found neither in Empire, Riches, nor Senfuality,
Jior in all together, muft we not conclude Mzn'sfummum
honum dwells in a fuperior Region ; and that we mult
leave this World before we can enter upon the Pofi'eflion.
of it?

In a Word, the Defire of Happinefs is ingrafted in our
Nature, it may therefore be attained, becaufe it's impof-
iible IVlen fliould be born with a natural Tendency to a
Chimera; there is no meeting it in this World, therefore
we muft expe6t it in the other ; our Souls therefore iur-
vive our Bodies, and if for one Moment, they muft re-
main eternally; for without this perpetual Duration
jChere can be no Content, becaufe no Security.

Athym'ius. I own Philofophers have been at a Plunge
to aflign \}vi\% Jummum bonum of Man: Some have feated
it on the Pinnacle of Honour ; others have placed it in the
Piealuresof the Body; but the firft is too thin, too airy,
pnd too precarious to fatiate a reafonable Soul ; and the
lecond too brutal. lam inclined to fix it with A-nfiotlcy
in the Satisfatlion of our moft noble Faculty, that has
no Dependance on Fortune, nor lies within the Reach of
C^fualties: Now it's agreed on all Sices, that notliing
comes up to the Undcrftanding, therefore our Felicity
muft confift in the Satisfaction of this glorious Faculty.

Etifeh. But where fhall we chop upon this beatifying
Objec'l?

Athym. The ftately Machine of the World will furnifh
lis a large Profpeft of Contemplation and Pleafures. I
can never contemplate the Beauty of the I'irmament,
the fine Subordination of the celeftial Orbs, iheir vari-
ous, yet regular Circumvolutions, but I find my felf in
Rapture and Extafy, Sometimes I dive into Caufes,
and conftrue/^/r^/7 by Experience, Felix qui pviuit n-
rum coinofcere caufas : When my Undcrftanding is po-
,fpd, I Itcp over the Difficulty, and. am even charm 'd
WiLli my I^^norance ; for a nonplus has its Satisfiidion,

and

J70 ne Gentleman Infm^ed.

and there is a Charm in knowing we are ignorant of
fomething.

Etifeb. This Contemplation is indeed a handfome Di-
verlion, but a lean Felicity; and I am apt to think it's
far more capable to puzzle than to content; for alas, we
furvey thofe Objects that are at hand through Mills, and
thofe that are remote through falfe Profpe6tives : So that
our Ignorance extends wider than our Knowledge, and
our Intelleft is rather harafs'd with Doubts, and alarm'd
■with Sufpicions, than regal'd with ftaunch Demonltration.
Now I fuppofe Ignorance rather f;ets theUnderftanding
than fatiates it; Doubts rack it, and Sufpicions clap it
on the Torture: Flow then can this fine Contemplation
you talk of lay afleep all our Defires, and place us in a
ilate of Repofe ?

But zdiy^ If Hunger ravage my Stomach, and Penury
my Purfe; if I tug at an Oar, will Contemplation filence
Appetite? Or fill my Purfe? Or knock oft" my Chains?
Alas, Sir, thefe Miferies fit hard upon a Man in fpight of
Speculation, and muft be removed by fome more effec-
tual Means than Knowledge.

3-y/)', All the World cannot whip and fpur for Oxford
and Cambriilge ; fome have no Wit for Studies, fome no>
Inclination, and otiiers no Leifure; Clovv^ns find upon
Experiment, that Action turns to better account than Spe-
culation, and you will never perfuade them to truck the
Spade for Arijiotle or Archimedes.

Again, Women, I fuppofe, may lay fome claim to
Happinefs as well as Men; muft they alfo leave the Di-
JtafF to con Plato, and contemplate Nature, whilft they
iliould make Bone-lace? I always ruppos'd the fupream
Felicity of every Individual v/as the fame with that of the
whole Species ; but no, it varies with Conftitutions and
Employments ; and you treat the Sex in England with as
little Ceremony as the BoKzees in Japan, who difcard
them of all Title to Knppinefs ; but this is to pollpone
the Scripture to Pomponaiius; to rely more on the Reve-
ries of an Atheiftical Pedant, than on the Authority of
Jesus Cmusx.

DI A-

The Gentleman Injini^kd, 571

DIALOGUE X.

The Soul is immaterial.

maten-

Bufeb. "Y* O U called for diredt Proofs of the Imrr
•*■ ality, I muft comply with your Defire.
I,

Man is a free Agent, and by confequence his Soul
draws not its Origin from Matter. Sure you will not
oblige me to prove a thing fo clear, fo evident. We ex-
perience this Liberty in our A6lions ; we may continue
the prefent Difcourfe or interrupt it : I am not neceffita-
ted to fpeak, nor you to hear me. Upon this Perfua-
lion of Freedom, Commerce is carried on, and Govern-
ment founded: Who would truft a Neighbour, were he
not perfuaded Honefty were in his Power? And why
fhould a Murderer leave his Life on a Gibbet if the
Crime was unavoidable? In fine, why do all Common-
wealths difcourage Vice by Punifhments, and encourage
Virtue by Rewards, but upon this univerfal Perfuafion
that Man is a free Agent? This being premifed, I argue
thu?.

Liberty is a Power to aSi and not aSl^ivhen all things pre-
required fur Adion are ready -^ for no Creature can be con-
ceived free that is antecedently determined to one fide of
a Contradidlion. Now if there be a Power in Man, that
can fufpend an Aftion, when all things pre-required are
prefent, its Adlion depends not upon any Difpofitior; ei-
ther in the Objeft or Organ ; and by confequence, it
muft be independent of Matter ; but if the Adtion be in-
dependent, the Power it felf muft be fo alfo; for no
Operation can be more perfeft than its Caufe.

If you fay the Will is not determined by it felf, but
by the Charms of fome apparent Good, or fome material
Difpofitions in or without th? Organ, you overthrow the
very Notion of Liberty ; for then it can no more abftain
from Adion, than the Eye, when all things neceilary
for Vifion are prefent. Seeing therefore Man is fuppofcd
free, and that Freedom is incompatible with a Deter-
mination that proceeds from any previous Difpofition in
Matter, yet we muft conclude it determines it felf, and
by conlequence is independent of Matter, ;". e. im-
material.

To

57 2 *^f^^ Gentleman InfiruSted.

Toexpofe this Truth in a greater Light, do we r©t
fometimcs mortify the Inclinations of Flefh, and hold in
the Tendency of Appetite? How many tie up their Bo-
dies to Chaftity in Ipight of Solicitations? Suppreis the
Sallies of Intemperance by Abftinence, and of Drunkcn-
nel's by Sobriety ? Now if the Soul depends on the Body,
it cannot baulk its Inclinations : Can a Horfereftrain Ap-
petite when he ftands at a full Manger, and faft in the
Prefenceof Provender? Alas, poor Creatures, their Souls
and Bodies are made of the fame Stuff; and fo thofe have
no Superiority, nor Juujfdiftion over thefe : In all their
Flights and Purfuits they follow the Direction of Senfe ;
•whatever glides fmoothly upon the Organ, the Soul em-
braces, and whatever grates upon it raifes its Averfion.

What material Difpontion could force St. Lawrence
rather to broil on a Grid-Iron, than to apoftatize from his
Religion ? They all banded againft his Refolution ; Senfe
perRnded him to relent, and his Body funk under the
Violence of Torments ; yet bis great Soul was deaf to the
Clamours of Senfe ; it facrific'd the Body to conferve its
Innocence. You may as foon perfuade me that Ice can
burn, and Fire freeze, as that a material Principle can
thus aft contrary to the Difpolitions of Matter ; but St.
J^awr-ence A\d^, and thoufands befides; therefore there is
jn Man a Principle that determines it felf, and confe-
quently independent of Matter.

2.

If the Soul he material, all Plcafure muft be conveyed
pnto it by the Channel of fomc Senfe; no agreeable Fer-
f eption can come at it, but by the Mediation of corporeal
Organs ; but the Soul is capable of Delight, that has no
Jnfluepce on Senfe, that refides wholly in the Under-
ftanding ; thus the Difcovery of a Truth diftrafted Ar-
fhlr/iedes, and he dcmonftrated himfelf almoft out of hig
Wits ; he was not able to bear the Impreilion of Joy. but
cver-fet with the afle(fl:ing Charms of his cafual Dif-
covery, he lenp'd out of the Bath, and rnn naked
through the Streets, without any Regard to Age or
Decency.

Now, what plunged this M.'^themUicinn's Soul info
r.irh an Ocean of Delight? No'hing but a new-found
Truth, fo proi^j-r to the Underflandini, that no Senfe
could pretcnid any Share in it j it came not within the

Reach

fhe Gentleman InJlrnBed, j;^j

Reach of the Eye, or Smell, it was too airy to be finger-^
ed ; and I believe a thoufand Demonftrations, though*
never fo high-feafoned, v/ould prove a meagre Regale lo
the Palate. Seeing therefore a material Soul can receive
no agreeable Senfation, but from an Impreffion ftamp'd
on fome Senfe; and that the Pleafure oi Archimedes ivas
not the Objedt of any Senfe, vi'e mufl conclude it reli-
ded in the Soul, without Dependance on any Senfe, and
by confcquence that his Soul v/as immaterial.

AtJjym. Thefe are a pack of Hackney Arguments, and
fent upon all Expeditions; they are a kind oi erjjiws per-
due, expofed in every Rencounter; but after all, they are
more fit for Appearance than Service. I have not time
at prefent to dilcover their Weaknels; in the mean time,
fuppofing the Soul immaterial, why mud it be immortal?
Eufeb. The Arguments I propoieare ordinary inict-d,
and lie in every Man's Way, but they are not lels con-
cluding, becaufe obvious; all may underitand then), but
no Libertine can anfwer them. You ask me why, from
.Immateriality, I infer Immortality ? Give me leave to
put this Quellion ; is the A4afs of iVIatter, that makes up
the World, naturally eternal?
Athym. Yes.

Eufeb. Can you prove it?

Aihym, Philofopliers, if I am not miftaken, prove it
thus ; God as Author of Nature never withdraws his
Hand from any Creature but at the Exigence of fome
contrary Agent. Now Matter has no contrary; all the
operative Qualities in Nature relide in Matter, and
though they fall out among themfelves, it enters not into
the Quarrel, bending to neither fide, it's a Friend to all.
In fine, being the common Subjedt of Contraries, it can
be oppofite to none, and there lies out of the reach of
Corruption.

Eufeb. I receive your Reafon, but then it anfvvers
your Query ; for if the Soul be immaterial, it mull be
fpiritual; there is no Mean between thefe two Extreams.
It cannot be an Accident: For it's agreed on all Hands,
that Man is a fubftantial Compound ; therefore the moft
noble Ingredient muft be a Subilance. Such is his Soul,
without doubt, for this entitles him to Reafon, and feats
him above the Herd. The Soul therefore is a fpiritual
Subrtance, that i?, a Spirit : Now, no miiterir.! Agent

can

574 ^^ Gentleman InJiruBed,

can a6l upon a Spirit, becaufe it can have no Oppofition
to it ; therefore, feeing nothing in Nature requires its
Deftru6tion, it naturally requires to exift as well as
Matter.

Indeed, as God gave it a Being, fo he can at Pleafure
recal the Gift ; but then he muft a<5t as Sovereign, not
as Author of Nature ; for in this Quality he never with-
dravi^s his conferving Influence, but at the Exigence of
fome contrary Agent ; novi^ the Soul having no contrary^
God as the Author of Nature muft conferve it eternally.

Athym. Your Arguments, though obvious, make, I
confefs, fome ImprelTion, and though they do not con-
vince, at leaft, they perfuade, but the Refemblance be-
tween Men and Beafts hangs cruelly in my Head ; they
are fo like, that methinks they muft be made of the
fame Ingredients : Their Species is propagated by Gene-
ration, they grow up by Degrees, and receive Nourifh-
ment and Increafe from Meat and Drink ; ill Ufage heats
their Paflions, Kindnefs cools 'em ; they hear, fee, fmell,
and tafte, and regulate their A<5lions by the Senfes; they
lie open to Difeafes, and at laft fink under Age or Mala-
dy ; is not this an exadt PitSture of Man ? Does he not
make as ignoble an Entrance into the World, and as
fhameful an Exit, as the vileft Infed ? He rolls in Or-
dure nine Months, and then falutes the Light with Tears
and Clamours ; he begs a Livelihood of all Creatures,
and courts the very Beaft for Suftenance and Cloathing ;
Paflions grow upon him with Years, Age inftils Vigour,
and Malice fcts them on Fire; his Brutality vies with that
of Bears; and his Cruelty out-runs the rage of Lions;
he is furnilh'd with Senfes as well as they, and gives
himfelf over to their Direftion : If Beafts languifh under
Diieafes, is Man exempt from the Inconvenience ? They
both ftruggle with Diftempers, difpute their Poft, and
then furrender to Death, and what remains but breathlefs
Carcafes. Alexander and Buceph.ilns lie on the fame Le-
vel, the Duft of the Emperor has no Privilege above
that of the Horfe. Seeing therefore Beafts are mortal,
why muft we inveft Man with Immortality? A Refem-
blance of Operations fuppofcs a Likenefs of Principles j
and when the Effeds are equal, it's againft Re.Ubn to
make the Caufcs unequal.

Enfebt

^he Gentleman Injiru^ed, 5 75

Eufeh. In the firft place, your Argument proves as
ftrongly the Immortality of Beaft's Souls, as the Morta-
lity of Man's.

Athym. Nay, then I'll forfwear difputing.

Euj'eb. Would all Gentlemen take the fame Refolution,
Religion would be more regarded among us, and the Ci-
vil Government lelsdivided ; for whofoeverdifputes Arti-
cles of Faith, believes none j and it's a general Remai^,
that thofe who eternally enter upon Coniroyerfyj giy| .,.
more Evidence of Infidelity than Wit : 'l*fiTs'is, iflani.;^
rot miftaken, your Argument; there is a molt perfed^ " "
Refemblance between Men and Beads; both as to the
Necellity of dying, and to all the apparent Sequels of
Death ; but Beafls die entirely, therefore Men die en-
tirely. *

Athym. It is.

Eufeb. Let us now turn the Tables ; there h a mnjl
perfeil Refemblance between Men and Beajls, boti) as to
the NeceJJitp of Dying , and to all the apparent Sequeh^
Death, but Men die not entire ly^ therefore Beajls die nut
entirely.

Athym. Under Favour, you obtrude a wretc!ied So-
phifm for a ftaunch Reafon ; my Argument ftands upon an
avowed Principle, whilll: yours fuppofes the Qiieltion we
contend for: It's agreed on both fides, the Souls of Beafts
are mortal : if therefore there appear an exadl Conformi-
ty between them and Men, in the whole Series of their
Life, and Sequel of their Death, I may very philofophi-
cally infer Men's Souls are mortal, feeing we both agree
thofe of Beafts are-, but you cannot conclude the Immor-
tality of Beaft's Souls from that of Men, for this lies un-
der Debate; we are inqueftofthis Prerogative, and can-
not determine whether Man owes his Claim to Nature,
or Flattery, or Vifion : The Confequence therefore
draws from one contefted Antecedent is illegal; it nei-
ther helps the Opponent, nor foils the Defendant.

Enfeb. The Queftion is not what I believe, but what
you can reafonably conclude precifely from the Refem-
blance between Men and Beads, i fay, you can no more
infer the Mortality of human Souls, than the Immorta-
lity of thofe of Beafts. We fee the one and the other die,
but the Senfe is unable to bring any News of the Soul,
though you fend them on Difcoveries ; If you venture up-
on

^y 6 7he Gentleman Injlru^ed.

<^\ a Difleclion of their Bodies, you may come at the
Diitemper that carried them off": But you will meet witK
iro Symptoms of A-lortality or Immortality ; and there-
fore Itanding to the bare Refcmblance, your Argument
has no Advantage over mine.

But 1 acknowledge, fay you, that the Souls of Beafts
ate mortal; but then remember, I believe thofe of Men
to-be immorrah ,If therefore you abandon the Refcm-
blance, and call the Caufe upon my Authority ; rely uport .
it, inoneCafe as vi/ell as in the other: If it is of no vi'eight
for the Immortality of Man's Soul, why fhall it enter in-
to the Proof oi' the Mort:ility of Beafts ? .

If the Reafons with which I eftablifti the Mortality of
the Souls of Beafts, prove the Mortality of thofe of Men,
you come up to the Point \ in this Cafe my Re.ifons might
help on your Argument, but not by Authority ; but alas.
Sir, the Reafons for the one fide have no relation to thofe
of the other: Thofe that mainta'in the Mortality of Beafts
are foreign 'to Man, and would remain in their ful!
b^trengih though he were not in Beings

To draw to an end, I grant the Souls of Beafts ars
mortal, and that there is a great Refemblance between
them and Men; the Queftion is, what can be legally in-,
ferred from this Similitude ? I fiy nothing, but that all
that is animal in Man dies; his Body dies, his fenfitive
and vegetative Life end, and all thofe Faculties that de-
pend on corporeal Organs ceafe with the laft Breath. This
is a fiir Inference, and all Chriftians receive it ; but then
itftopsat the animal Part of Man without touching the
reafonahle, whofe Being and Operations have no Depcn-
dance upon Matter.

But you reafon as ill as you believe, and your LogicJc
is of tl;e lame Statnp with your Tenet. Man^ fay )'ou,'
rcfcmbles Beajis in thofe Things that arc common to boihy
trwerly us they are Animals \ therefore Z'f refemhles i» thofe
Things that are proper to him as Man. Ag;ain, Bciijis die
accordi>!g to the fenjitive Life ^ which is e[]cn!ial to A»t-
w.'ils^ but Alan refcmbles Beajis in that Vihuh is cfjentiat
to Anirnaii \ therejorehc dies as to the rational Lifc^xvhich
is nut ej]eHti(4l to /Inimals. In fuic, Alan is mort^il as to hit
Body^ therefore he is mortal as to hts Soul. If this be Rea-
fon, what is Sophifni? To conclude I'loni a Part of the
I'f'huU' is a Solecilm in Logick s and to atiiibulc un a

ihipgc

fhe Gentleman Inftru^ed, 577;

thing abfolutely^ that belongs to it merely ^er accidens, i'|
to defy Reafon.

In .Sne, if there be a great Refemblance between fome
Operations of Men, and thofe of Beafts, there is as wide a
difference between others ; if therefore from a Confor-
mity of Actions you infer a Simihtude of Principles, pray
fuffer me to conclude a difference of Principles from th^
difference of Aitions.

I have already thrown before you fome human Opera-
tions that mult proceed from a Principle wholly different
from any that is to be found in Beafts ; and to go no kv:~i
rher, Wh^t is there in Beafts that bears any Proportiorv
to the Underftanding ? it enters into the very Eilence, an»
rifles the molt abftrufe Recefies of Nature ; it defines, di*;
vides and diftinguifhes; its Motion outftrips the Winds,
and its Rapidity diftances Lightnings; in a Word, it em.-
braces the Poles together, and at one intelleftual grafp,
clutches the whole Extent of the Univerfe. Befides, Man's
Soul calls all the material Faculties to account, and minds
the Senfes of their Miftakes ; it impeaches the Fancy of
Folly, and laughs at thofe Moi^mo's it creates to fright us:
If it be of the fame Alloy with them, how came it by this
defpotick Power ? Who commiffioned it to call them to
the Bar, and to pronounce Sentence ? View all the Beafts
of the Field, and Birds of the Air, and you will not find
one whofe Soul pretends to any Superiority, to any Jurif-
diftlon over their Bodies ; they follow the Guidance of
Senfe, and believe the Intelligence. of Fancy ; they cor-
rect no Errors, becaufe they perceive none : Survey not
their paft Aftions, nor confult upon the future; for their
Souls drawing their Origin from Matter, they derive all
their Knowledge from the Senfes, and thus in Nature
being equal, can exercife no ASt of Superiority ; for he
who corrects muft be more knowing than he who is cor-
redled, and he who commands than he who is forc'd to
obey. Seeing therefore the Soul of Man commands the
material Powers, unmasks the lUufions of Fancy^ and the
falfe Reports of Senfe, that it judges of Ohjeds not ac-
cording to the Reprefentations of corporeal Organs, but of
a fuperior Principle; it muft be more noble than Senfe,
fuperior to Imagination, incependant of Matter, and con-
fequently immaterial.

P s^ Ach^^.

5 §7 ^^^ Gentleman Injlru^fed,

Athym. Well, Sir, we have waded into the Depth of
the Controverfy, it's time to retire : Your Arguments
look f.,ir without; at my Icifurc I will examine whether
they are found within.

Ei'.feh. It's llrange that Men who build their Infidelity
upon Conje6tures will yield to nothing but Evidence :
Why fo much Caution againft Truth, and Jo little againft
Error ? Is it ib much your Intereft to be in the Wrong,
and fuch a Grievance to be in the Right ? Spend fome
cool Thoughts upon the Matter; [j)e;n ac metum exa-
mina^ confront your Hope with your Fear; examine
what you fhaU gain if your Soul be mortal, what you will
Jofe if immortal; if immortal you forfeit all, if mortal
nothing. If therefore the Qiieftion were merely problema-
tick, you fhould ftand for that Side that promifes morcj
and threatens lefs ; ^ quotia incerta erunt omnia tibi favCy
if I am not miftaken I fhall never deplore my Error, nor
even perceive it; but alas. Sir, if you are in the Wrong,
you will once difcover yonrs, and always deplore it, but
never retrieve your Misfortune.

7'he Arguments o^ Eufebius made fome Impreffion on
the Gentleman, and this fhort Refledtion more; but the
difmal end of that Arch Atheift Theomachm finifh'd his
Converfion ; fo that I may fay the Gentleman was rather
feared than argued into a Senfe of his Duty. Eufebius
received in the nick of time an exaft Account of that un-
fortunate Gentleman's Death from a Friend in Town ;
and it's fo remarkable in all its Circumflanccs, that God
feems to have permitted it for the Inftru6tion of Pofteri-
ty^ and to convince Libertines, that he not only punifhcs
their Impieties in the next World, but often in this.
EufebiHs read the Letter as follows.

Honoured Sir,
~phrmit me to interrupt your Retirement with ajhort Ac'
■*■ count of a diplqrahle Accident : T'our Antagontft Theo-
machus is no more \ DivifieVexgemice has overtaken his Int-
pieties, and -made his PtiniJJoment no lefs ajlonifloing than his
Crimes ; he left the World a Convert indeed^ but not a Peni-
tent ; for though he dtfowned Atheifm, he retained the Sin,
and delivered himfelf into the Hinds of Go a' s 'Jujiice^ be-
caufe he defpaired of his Mercy : So that one would think he
ackMbwkdgtdaGedmerilytoprovoke him ifor by denying his
J Mercy

The Gentleman InJiruBed, 57^

Mercy to be infimte^ he forced him to exert his Juflice^and
dared htm to damn htm^ infpite of all his Invitations to
Repentance.

'That unfortunate Harlot^ that fometime hefore began his
Ruin, at length compleated it ; fo true it is, that the In-
firuments of our Sins, fro've often thofe of our ¥ nn'jhment,
and that we find our Mifery in th'/fe very things in which
we place our fupream Felicity : This Creature mtwith-
fianding had nothing extraordinary to recommend her, but
the Ltiicrtiesofa Profiitute, and the Freedom of her Pro-
fejfi'jn ; ttnftirnijh^d of one good Quality^ Jhe had gleaned
up all the bad ones of the Sex : In a word, if her Face
was fair, her Soul was black, her Fore-head of Br afs, and
her Heart of Steel: However Jhe fubdned Theomachus,
and maintained her Conqueft ; he furrendcred at Difcre-
tion, and to purchafe her Favour made over his Heart,
his Eflate^ Reputation, and in the end his Soul alfo to this
Town-yHt ; for jhe was no better.

A Friend took Compajfion of this poor Gentleman, and
fuppofed he might conjure down his Pajfion, by expofmg
the Lewdnefs of his Idol : Bat alas, Theomachus was
fiot only enchanted with Charms of her Perfon, but (what
is more incredible) with thofe of her Virtue : So that for
Thanks he returned Curfes, and asked Satisfaction for the
Advice, inftead of benefiting himfelf.

Nay, Sir, faid the Friend, IJhall foon make a Bank^
rupt, if I give good Counfel and pay for it too. I have
dij charged the Duty of a Friend, if you take me for an Ene-
my who can help it ? My Intention is friendly, and my Coun^
fel wholfome. IFhy do you mifconfirue ih^iX, and turn this
into Poifon ? It's no injury to tell a Friend he is injur'' d ;
ijo Affront to convince him he is affronted: IVell, Sir, I
abandon you to her Mercy, and I am fure I cannot leave
you in worfe Company,

Theomachus acquainted his AHflrefs with the Paffage,
and envenom' dhisFriend' s DifcozirJ'^e with a mortij'yingCom-
ment ; jhe flew out into all the extravhgances ofPajfion at
the recital, and would have melted into Water, had not Re-
venge fet all her Humours on fire. She would by all Means,
forfooth, abandon her Gallant, unlefs he vindicated her Ho'"
nour, promulge his Cowardice, and cur fe his Ingratitude.

I am informed this zuas nothing but Artifice and Strata-
gem : She had been too prodigal of her Favours y to be nice

Ppz of

5S0 The Gentleman Injirucied,

of her Refutation^ Jhe had hn^fince difcharged both Ho-
nottr and Confciencs^ and placed her Glory in the very Cen-
tre of Infamy^ She had plumed poor Theomachus to fea-
ther her own Neji^ and was now willing to remove him
out of the way to make room for frejfj Gallants ; fo that
her Enemies Death was the Pretence^ and Theomachus
iS the real Defign of her Revenge.

'This poor Gentleman had no mind to appeal to the Sword
in Defence of his Mifirefs ; he knew herCaufe was as bad
as his Skill; but however ^overcome by her Importunity^ he
fent a Challenge^ and required an Anfwer ; this done^
raifed more Pity than Anger in his Friend^ s Breafi. Theo-
machus, faid he, has lived her Slave, he has now a mind
to tmn Knight-errant, and die her Martyr : Tears may
indeed wajh out her Crimes ; but all the Blood in his Veins
is unable to refture her Innocence. 1 have performed
the Office of a Friend, he provokes me to add that of an
Enemy ; he fcorns my Counfcl, and importunes me for a
Stab; but if ill Nature deferves Refentment, it Jhall not
move me to Revenge.

However, Y[\eom2LQhMSwasonfire, and the Jilt blazed
it into a Flame, he met his Friend, and drew upon him with
the Rage of an Enemy, but Fortune declared againfl him as
■well as ytifiice ; the Sword flipt through his Lungs, andhe
fpeechlefs to the Ground: lie was carried home in a Trance,
and every Body fuppofed be breathed his lafi ; his Mifs^ who
had been iiijlr omental to his Misftrtnne, was all Sorrow
vjithopit, alljoy vjithtn-y fjewepi inearnefl, but mourned
injefl, and indeed her Grief appeared tt,» extravagant to
he real: Reafon at length rcturncd,and\ heomachus rv///;
rowiing Eyes, arid deep Sighs cried out., Where am I ? Oh,
I burn and freeze, F^re and he poft through every Vein ;
picthinks I feel all the Pains of the Damned. I leave Time
behind^ and ft and upon the Brivik (f Etiirnity.

What, fays a Gentleman^ is then the Soul immortal. Is
there a Fie II to pnnijk Crimes; and a God to injliSl the Pu-
nijloment ? / thought the F.xtftence of a God was FiJioA,
and of a future State, Fable and Romance.

Pajfion, replied Theomachus, concealed thofe Truths,
Death difcovers the Heart may bean /Itheifi, but not Rea-
fon. IVbat we earne/ily defire, we eafily believe : A vehc'
ment Paffion fupplies the place of Demonftration ; but now,
alas.^ the Profped of Death h^rs laidtlpofe Vapours, that in-

terpofed

^e Gentleman Inftru5fed, 581

fcrj>o[ed between Time and 'Eternity ; the Curtain is
draivn^ and I take a full Survey of that boundlefs Ocean
without Bottom^ without Shore.

The Company overjoyed at this unexpeded Converfion^
called a Divine to bring him to a perfect Senfe of his Duty ;
he laid before him all the Motives^ Charity and Learning
were able tofttggejl, and prejfed them home with fuch a
moving Emphajii^ that all melted into Tears^ bejides the
unfortunate Gentleman whom they moji concerned.

Sir^ faid the Divine, yourGlafs is run ; few Moments
divide you from Eternity : Teu flandupon the laji Confines
ofTime^ andwilleitherfallintotheTorments of the Damn-
ed^ or fly up into the never-ending Pleafures of the Blejfed.
Impenitence convey you to Hell, a hearty Repentance into
Heaven ; tho"" your Sins are great, God's Mercy is greater i
ask Pardon J he will not refufe it ; a contrite Soul difarms
hit Jufiice^ and turns his Severity into Mercy.

The Jick Man Jhewed more Symptoms of Rage than of
Repentance at the Difcourfe, anafeemed rather ffillen than
moved with the Exhortation.

At lafl, I remember the Time {cry'' d he, with a doleful
Accent^ when thofe Words would have dijfolved me into
Tears, andfplit my Heart with Sorrow ; but now, alaSy
'my Eyes are drier than a Flint, and my Heart more ob-
durate than Marble : I fee my Crimes, and tremble at the
Profped. but cannot detefi them.

If you cafi one Eye, replied the Divine, on the Heinouf-
nefs of your Sins, pray turn the other to the Greatnefs of
God's Mercies ; if the one breeds Defpondence, the other
Hope and Confidence : One I have finned to the Lord,
jreed David /ro«2 the Guilt of Adultery and Murder . The
good Thief mounted the Crofs a Criminal, and was taken
down a Saint ; yet one memento me\ wrought his Change,
and raifed him from. Hell to Heaven. Peter, the Favou-
rite 0/ Jesus Christ, bafely difowned his Mafler, and
hacked Apojlacy with Oaths and Perjury ; yet no fooner .
did he deplore his Sin, but Chrifl pfonounced his Pardjfiy
and received him into his Favour.

Thefe Injlances, good Sir, faid Theomachus, come
not up to my Cafe ; they tranfgreffed their Duty through
Frailty ; human Infirmity had a greater Share in their
Falls than Malice ; and thus they feem rather worthy of
fiompajfion thanPuniJhment j but I have not on.sf corned

Cod's

j8i 7h^ Gentleman Injnukd.

God''s Laivf, but flew in his Face ; I have defied his Per--
fuKy a-yid denied his very Being: An Infinite 'J uftice muji
chaflife fuch a flaming Infinlence \ nay^ and will ; my Sen-
tence is pronounced^ and nothing remain^ to comtleai my
Mifery hut the Execution.

At le'ift [replied the Divine^ ask Par don ! To be damn-
ed out of a Fear of being damned is extraordinary ; God
has engaged his H'^ord^ he will not refuje hts Msrcy to
thofe who Jincerely implore it : He invites^ he follicits you
to accept his Offer, why will yuu oblige his Goodnefs to
abandon you to the difmal Refentments of bis Fury ? Has
If ell fuch Charms ? Are his Threats fa inviting^ and his
Promifes fo frightful ?

The Lofs of Heaven^ anfweredT\\eomtLch.\xs,bolts Darts
of Sorrow and Rage through every Artery ; and the very
Apprehenfions of Hell Jlr etches my Limbs upon all the
Racks, all the Tortures of the Damned \ methmks I feel
the dire Embraces ofthoje mercilefs Flames, andfmellthe
Vapours of Fire and Brimfione. Did I repent, God I know
would receive me into his Mercy, but I cannot, I will not.
Scarce hadhe finijh'' dthis defperateHarangue, which moved
the Standers-by to Horror, Indignation, and Compajfion
too; but muflering up all his Forces, he raijed himfelf up,
and clafping his Arms about his Mijlreffes Neck, For thee,
(Caidhe) alone do I defire to live ; in Defence of thy
Honour I die, thou haft been my foJe Happinefs in this
Life, and I will have no other in the next. In this Po-
jlure expired Theomachus, an unhappy Inflance to him-
felf of God^s 'Judgment upon Atheifis, but I hope it may
prove fortunate to others.

Honoured Sir,

Yourmoft obedient Servant,

N.N,

^^Eufebius read th"^ Letter with Tears, and the Compa-
ny heard it with Tranfports of Admiration ; all pitied
the Gentleman's Misfortune, and blamed his Obftinacy.
Well, l^ud Athymius, I fee Atheifts and Libertines are
lefs faiisficd with their Pris-iciples than they pretend ;

they

^he Gentleman InflruEltd, 5S3

they will Itaad forihcm ufque nd aras^ to the Death-bed,
but then when they ftepinto Eternity, they leave them be-
hind. If there be a God in the other World, certainly
there is one in this j and if our Souls are Immortal when
we die, they are Immortal whilft we live. Theomaihus
fwore the Soul into Matter, and heilored God out of
Being, but could never reafon them into nothing j his
Rhodomontadoes ended in Trembling, and his Laughter
in Delpair. God has left his Punilhment a fad Memo-
randum to the Living ; I will profit by his Misfortune,
and not inftru6l Poflerity by my own.

Eufeb'tHs was fcarce come to himfelf ; the Letter caft
him into a melancholy Contemplation of Theomachus's,
Difafter, and God's fevere Juftice upon the wretched Gen-
tleman. At length, turning to the Company, Theoma-
chus, faid he, is gone, and his Death anfvvers the Te-
nure of his Life ; his Pleafures have taken Wing, and
what remains but a Coffin for his Body, and a Lake of
Fire and Brimftone for his Soul ; he fed high, like the
rich Glutton, and drank higher j and as he followed
his Example in this World, fo has he met with his Pu-
nifhment in- the other, and now cries loud for a drop of
Water to refrcfh Kl§ Tongue, as before for Champ aigtie to
oblige Senfuality. Gentlemen ! l^aniias Vamtatum ^
omnia Vamtas^ all temporal Enjoyments are vain and
trivial, purchafed with Pain, poflels'd with Fear, and loll
with Regret, theydifguft a good Man, and are unable
to fatiate an ill one ; they rnay glide upon the Orgagi for
a time, but cannot fmooth the H,eart \ they fawn apon ,
theSenfes, but always give a Stab> at parting. Thcre^is"
no Pleafure here but in the Pradice of Virtue ; this in-
deed is worthy the Purchafe, and will pay Charges with
Inter'eft ; it railes a Man above Fear^ and difencumSers
him of all the uneafy|*angsof Defire ^ it turns a Sin-
ner into a Saint, it gives Jpim in hand a Title to Heaven,
aM tbe g^'effionjMfegfflaa(ier. , ^ « ^ j. ^

Let us allow fom^. t;i33e TcrcblWhifff** TJijciMfe,
and not make ovet our whole Lives to MerrimentJ^iat
muft end in Tears, or unrepeflfl?d,''4toneV'^-8j*i»E^jHP>'^
fpair. We walk on uneven Ground, and if we Ihut our
Eyes, every Step leads us to a Precipice, from which there
is no return : If Caution can give no Security, into what
an Abyfs will ^esligenceplun^.1^? •*'-«^-'|fcr** ■• -»

'•'•t^

^84 ^H Ge NttEMAN InJIruBed,

Take up then, Gentlemen, and abandon Lewdnefs be-
fore it abandons you ; tQrn Neceflity into Virtue, and
rcfign de boHfie Grace^ what within fome Years you muft-
in fpight of Reliiftance and Oppofition : There is no
Recipe againft Death, no Protection; itsStroak is fure,
and often unforefeen ; it attacks not fo much by Vio-
lence as Stratagem; and if it furprizes us unprovided,
we are undone forever, for on this Moment depends an
Eternity: It's eafy to prevent an eternal Mifery, butim-
polTible (when once we are fallen into Hellj to abate the
Flames, or to extinguifli them.

Oh the deplorable State of a damned Soul! To feel
always all the Evils, and all together that can be feared.
What Death ! Never to enjoy the lead Good that can be
defired? What Life! To fuffer always! To defpair al-
ways ! And never to hope, will be the eternal Employ-
ment of a Reprobate ! How little do Gentlemen be-
lieve this fad Truth ! How little do they romprehend it !
And this is the Reafon they lin without.Feaf, without
Remorfe. '- /*

Oh the Folly of Men, who will not believeJtiil'Flames
confume their Infidelity, but not theirQfin]^^ Till Re-
pentance proves Ui7prQfitable,^aitJi<lf!!7r Mifery becomes
Eternal! • •'

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