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I 



sYTYq^ 




^i<.A 



JOHN CHINAMAN 

AND A FEW OTHERS 



FORMERLY ONE OF H.M. CONSULS IN THE FAR EAST 



^ H?!^ A R K E R 



By E 



AUTHOR OF "CHINA, HER HISTORY, DIPLOMACY 



♦» 



AND COMMERCE, ETC., ETC. 



SECOND EDITION 



" No nuui but a blockhead ever wrote except for money 

Dr. Samuel Johnson 

" I do not love a man who is zealous for nothing " 

Dr. Oliver Goldsmith 



NEW YORK 

E. P. BUTTON & CO. 

LONDON 

JOHN MURRAY 
1902 



3>S 

not, 



MY DAUGHTER 
MARY 



PREFACE 



SOME books have been likened to molehills : with- 
out being exhaustive treatises on the work to 
which an author has devoted his life, they serve to 
show the direction in which he has been burrowing, 
and the soil in which he has been working. Some 
such character I would claim for the reminiscences 
contained in the following pages. It will be observed 
that humble folk are throughout placed absolutely on 
a footing with great personages ; I, for one, being per- 
suaded that the lowly are just as interesting company 
as the mighty. In fact, a (since then very distin- 
guished) diplomatist once said to me, as he took 
the air upon my consular verandah, when on tour 
amongst the treaty ports : — " A celebrated man on 
a certain occasion repeated in my hearing the old 
remark that the world would be positively astounded 
if it only knew with what a very small amount of 
capacity and ability it was governed" To this I may 
add as a corollary : — " and how much excellence there 
is to be found in obscure persons " — such as I describe 



Vll 



viii PREFACE 

here ; to one of whom, I may say with gratitude 
I owe my safe^ if not my life two or three times 
over: I consequently give him a place of prominence 
in the frontispiece. It will also be noticed that 
my experiences with the Chinese have always had 
a Quixotic tinge about them ; that is to say, that 
I have had to socorrtr viudas, endereear tuerios, and 
remediar agravios as often for Frenchmen, Germans, 
Russians, Italians, Danes, Americans, Portuguese, 
Spaniards, and Chinese as for British subjects ; having 
el buen Sancho always at my heel: it would almost 
look as though I had gone through a career with the 
coat-tails provokingly trailing under the nose of every 
man armed with a buckthorn, and always spoiling for 
a fight Ten years after making the above remark, 
the same distinguished diplomatist wrote to me : — 
"The more rows you are in, the better for you, so 
long as you don't cause them yourself"; and this is 
also true, — subject, however, again, to a slight addition : 
"and so long as the game is played squarely." 

But the main object is not to describe my own 
doings ; it is to illustrate Chinese character by means 
of concrete examples, docketed and dated so that 
they can be verified, either by reference to the persons 
mentioned, or to the archives of the countries named. 
To the best of my powers, I relate nothing but 
what is true ; what I have seen with my own eyes, 
heard with my own ears, or searched out with my 



■^«iU 



PREFACE ix 

own brains (or what does duty for brains) ; and it is 
quite impossible, therefore, for me to draw convincing 
life-pictures unless I introduce the tertium quid of my 
own personality, which must consequently be always 
regarded simply as a mere peg whereon to hang a 
tale. What I wish particularly to point out is that, 
shifty and crafty though Chinese officials may be, 
they have never been impenetrable to "suasion," so 
far as my personal experience goes, and have never 
failed in the end to settle any case, however long 
pending. Also that, hostile though the ignorant 
Chinese people may often be, I have never found them 
inaccessible to ** chaff" or reason, nor have they ever 
actually injured my person, or any individual whom 
chance may have placed under my protection, however 
near they may have come to the point of violence. 
To the best of my recollection, I have never had 
to dismiss a Chinese servant, either private or public ; 
nor have I ever found it indispensable to punish, 
humiliate, or crush. Possibly self-consciousness of 
many imperfections may have instinctively caused 
me to refrain from too readily condemning others : 
but whatever the inner inwardness of it may be, the 
facts are, I believe, strictly as stated. 

I do not say the Chinese are very nice people to live 
amongst ; in fact, odi profanum vulgus et arceo was 
always my feeling towards them. Yet I have always 
met them in a tolerant spirit of equality, and possibly 



X PREFACE 

that is partly why I survive to state the circumstances 
of it all. — Nor, on the other hand, do I deftly insinuate 
that my methods have always been good methods, or 
my judgment a sounder one than others' judgment : but 
in the firm belief that the public, as a body, generally 
forms its conclusions more justly than locally concerned 
individuals, who often have private axes of their own 
to grind, 1 simply leave the verdict in popular hands. 

It will be seen that a consular officer's experiences, 
though obscure, may yet be very varied ; and that, 
although he cannot pretend to such services as are 
rendered by members of " another circle," he still finds 
occasional opportunities for profTering a useful hand 
in a humble way. If, on the bare retrospect of his 
experiences among the Chinese, a mere hack, so to 
speak, can summon up such various recollections, it 
may be well imagined what a wealth of incident the 
more distinguished members of the same service might 
recall, did not their diffidence, their modesty, or their 
" diplomatic " prudence stand in the way. 

I believe with Sir Robert Hart that in 'attempting 
to crush the Chinese spirit we are making a great 
mistake, for which we shall pay dearly in the future, 
— unless we stay our hand in time; and there is yet 
time. I cannot quite follow, and therefore am unable to 
agree with, all the sentimental involutions of his reason- 
ing, making mental allowance for the fact that he has 
been too practically busy for forty years to fall in at once 



PREFACE xi 

with the conventional style of mere " writing fellows " ; 
but none the less it appears to me that he has stood 
generously forward as the one just man among a mob of 
degenerate Christians. " This was the noblest Roman of 
them all," say I. It is just seven hundred and seventy- 
five years ago since the ancestors of the Manchus {i,e. 
the old Manchus) destroyed the Cathayan power, and 
then took the southern Chinese capital of Pien (modern 
K'ai-f6ng Fu). They imposed an "indemnity of 
10,000,000 ounces of gold, 20,000,000 * shoes ' of silver^ 
and 10,000,000 pieces of silk," which is about the sum 
the united Powers are now trying to extract. But a 
century later the Mongol hordes swept both these same 
early Manchus in the East and also the early Russians 
in the West out of political existence, only to be them- 
selves driven away by pure Chinese one hundred and 
fifty years later. This is but one solitary instance of how 
the Chinese " eels get used to skinning " ; and I cannot 
help thinking, therefore, that we Christians have not only 
acted foolishly, uncharitably, and unjustly, but that we 
are rousing a feeling of bitter resentment both in China, 
and Japan, which may have rueful results for us all at 
no very distant period ; and more especially for Russia,. 
France, and Germany : that is to say, unless we decide 
to recognise and make allowances for a human nature 
which is to all essential purposes our own. 

E. H. PARKER. 
18, Gambibr Tkr&acb, 

LiVBRPOOL. 



CONTENTS 



CHAPTER I 
BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 



PAGX» 



An Event in the Snow (January 17, 1878)— The Captive Girl (1879) 
—The Joy» of Matrimony (November, 1890)— Mrs. Patrick Fitz- 
patrick CToole (1891)— Death of A-sz (September 28, 1879) 
—Suicides (1880, 1890)— The Death of Ano's Brother (May 19, 
1884)— Potted Ancestors (1870-8) 1-26 



CHAPTER II 

THE HAND OF GOD 

Cholera at Foochow (September 6, 1877)— The Great Canton Tornado 
(April II, 1878)— Wang-^h and the Cholera (December, 1880) 
— A Celestial Coincidence (November 4, 1892) 27-3^ 



CHAPTER 111 

THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

Chinese Washermen (March 22, i877)~The Chinese Diplomat in 
Russia (July, 1882) — Chinese in Sumatra (June, 1888)— Chinese 
in Australia (August, 1888)— The Chinaman m New Zealand 
(October, 1888)— French Chinamen (1888, 1892, 1893)— The 
Chinaman in Hawaii (November, i888)~Don Magnifico (May, 
1893)— Chinese Gamblers (September, 1894) . 37-61 

xiii 



CONTENTS 



CHAPTER IV 

KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS. AND PHILOSOPHERS 

The Tnugli romAa (1869-71)— Wbuung (June 18, 1871)— The 
Taoiat " Pope " (September 10, 1880)— The PhiloiopheT Ctnctiu 
(October 15, 1881)— CfaineK Roytlty (July 10, 189O— The 
Emperor of Aniuun tjumtxj 30, 1891]— Chinamea as PiinceB 
(Kovetnber, 1893)— Vie Victii (November 37, iSga)— The Wild 
Kachyn* (FebrauTi 1893)— Hit Holiaeti the Pope (Juiuuy 37, 
1894) 62- 



CHAPTER V 

" ROWS "—MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

A Row with Stndeoti (Novembei 11, 1873)— The Caged Wuiiot 
(December IJ, 1877)— A "MiuJODMy Row" (September 15, 
1880)— FtUioK He Fell, ud FiUiug Emitted a Thnd (July 3, 
l8St>— An Extinguither at Wbichow (October, 1884)— A Nice 
Little Familj Party (October, 1884)— A Chineie "Re»olution" 
(January 35, 1SS6} 90-133 



CHAPTER VI 

PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

The Piracy of the Sftiri (Augml 31, 1S74)— A Hratical Attack 

(February 19, 1884)— A Real Murder (November 17, 1886)— 

The Great Murder Case (March, 1890)— The Ureal Spanish 

Mulder Case [August, 1S89)— The Piracy of the lfam«a 

(December, 1890)— Muidet WiU Out (1893-3) ■ 114-143 



CONTENTS XV 

CHAPTER VII 
FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

PAGES 

lie Government and the Pickpocket (May, 187 1)— The Dishonest 
Postman (November 4, 1874)— The Thief on the Roof (1878) 
— An Unsolved Mystery (March 9-19, 1880)— Another Dishonest 
Postman (Jane 2— July 6, r88o)~The Head Thief (December 25, 
1880)— Who Steals my Purse Steals Trash (April 15, 1881) 143-162 

CHAPTER VIII 

VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

i Hong-chang (1871-72)— The Governor Hii Ying-hung (1872)^ 
The Viceroy Jweilin (September, 1874) — ^The Viceroy Yinghan 
(March, 1875)— The Viceroy Liu Kun-yih (1878-9)— YUan Shl- 
k'ai (1885-6) 163-179 



CHAPTER IX 

RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

L Chinese Convert (1871-2, 1885-6)— Mussuhnans in China (1869, 
i88x)— Saul! Saul! why persecutest thou Me? (1878-9)— A 
Narrow Escape (October 21— November 28, 1885)— The Seed of 
the Church (February 19, 188 1 ; February 11, 1887)— Father 
Cadoux (1888, 1892-3)— Roman Catholic Education (1884-5, 
1888, 1892-3)— Pagan Christians (May 20, 1893) . 180-204 



CHAPTER X 

HUMANITAS 

3iinese Teachers (1867-8)— Old Ow (1874-5, 1878-9)— " Full of 
Strange Oaths" (1879)— A Chinese Barrister (1876)— Old Lu 
(1874-5* 1878-80; January, 1891)— Doctor Wong (1874-5, 1878) 
—The Chinese Lettr^ (1884)— Chinese Poetry (1879, x^oo) 205-228 



CHAPTER XI 
ARMY AND NAVY 
The ChiiKse Army (October 30, i8;o)— A Warrior in Trouble 
(October 37, 1878)— A G>lluil Admiral (November 17, lS&>) 
—A Soldier of the Old School (i88o-i)-The Chinese Navy 
(May, 1890)— An InEtigatoi of Rebellion (February, 1893)— 
Captain Ch'fn (1893-4)— Admiral Tii^ (July 4, 1885 i May 8. 
1890)— A Corean Admiral (May t6, 1885)— Captain TJng [July, 
[885— January, 1S86)— A more than Royal Salute (Auguu 17, 
1886) a29-3«Sj 

CHAPTER XII 

PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

The Murderont Mongtd (November 11, 1869)— The Miao-tsi (t88t}— 

The Corean Mtfii (1885-4)— The Grave of Empire (Match 16, 

1S8S)— Joseph the Sinner (1S93) — An Anrumese Noble (January, 

1893)— Sic Transit Gloria (April 39, 1S8S) . . 363-381 

CHAPTER XIII 
DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 
Chioeae Ptoce»oni (November 3, 1870)— Sir E. B. MaJet among 
the Zufix and Philology Men (September 11-13 and '7-*o. '87a) 
—Archdeacon Gray (1874-5, 1S78)— Sir Samuel Baker, Paiha 
(September 4> 1880)— An Imperial Ambassador (April 7, 1881)- 
HowlbeChineseTel^nphs Used to Work (December, 1886) 383-303 

CHAPTER XIV 

RAISING THE WIND 

Chang-erh'i Winnii^ (1878)— Hoi^ong Salt-imogglers (July 17 — 

August 33, 1878)— A Scandalous Squeeze (September 30— 

October 1 1, 1878}— Who'U Buy My Gingham ? (May I3, 1881)— 

There'iMoaeyinlt (1881)— The Salt-smuggler (1873, 1^3) 3°4-32i 



^^■-.'uunHi 



CONTENTS 



xvu 



CHAPTER XV 



POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 



PAGES 



The Mtncha Agent- Provocatiur (June 8, 1880)— The Vagabond 
Escort (June, 1881)— My Escort (October, 1881)— The Big 
Ting-cKai and the Small Ting-cKai (October i, 1884)— Tit- 
for-Tat (Blarch 21, 1891)— The TWoi Chu (1891-3)— A Trucu- 
lent Official (July 4-16, 1893) 322-343 



CHAPTER XVI 

PERSONAL 

Chang-^h (1869-94)— A Dangerous Outing (May 13-141 1872)— 
The Barber's " Pidjin " (1879)— And He Went for that Heathen 
Chinee (i88iHChang-£rh'sViUainy (1885)— That Straight Heart 
(1890) 344-359 



• ■■" itiS^pJ— ;»■»—» m. t-^~ -v^h 



=^ifT' - 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 



chang-£rh 



THE CAPTIVE GIRL AND HER FRIEND .... 

P*BI YIN-S^N's arsenal students and their INSTRUC- 
TOR, MR. BRBWITT-TAYLOR 

THE OLD JESUIT INSTRUMENTS OF THE ASTRONOMICAL 
BOARD (TAKEN BY GBR&fANY) (WusiraUB Edipsis) 

TUNG sUN the POETi WITH HIS TWO CHINESE COL 
LEAGUES, 187I 

THE KING (<* emperor") OF ANNAM 

TOMB (NANKING) OF THE FOUNDER ( 1 368-98) OF THE 
MING DYNASTY (VISITED FROM CHINKIANO) 

LOOKING DOWN THE CANTON RIVER 

PAGODA FROM WHICH A-n5 FELL .... 

THE KING (NOW *< EMPEROR") OF CORBA 

PAGODA ISLAND, FOOCHOW RIVER .... 

THE BHAMO "CHINA STREET" AND BARBER's SHOP 

HIS EXCELLENCY THE VICEROY LIU K*UN-YIH 

THE LATE TAI-WON-KUN, FATHER OF THE KING OF 
CORBA 

ONB OF THE SHANGHAI JESUITS* ORPHANAGES 

**OLD OW" AND HON. J. STEWART-LOCKHART 

A student's UP-COUNTRY RETREAT 



FrontiBpiict 
Facing p, 6 



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62 


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76 


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94 


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98 


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112 


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122 


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132 


f> 


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140 


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*) 


174 


ii 


>l 


178 


it 


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198 


*> 


it 


208 


It 


a 


216 



XX LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 

TMB NINCPO TBACHBK AND THB LITTt^ riKG^M'Al . Fating p. 234 

THE BRITISH CAMP AT BHAUO , „ 244 

IHTBRIOR OF THB TOMB (NEAR PEKING) OF THB CHINESE 

UtNO EMPEROR VUNG-LOH, 1403-24 illliuinila 

Atmmmnt tomb) ,. ,. 273 

THE IHTERIOK OF THE TARTAR CBNBRAL's r^lfSN AT 

CANTON iiauHmlaAnnamiUTKtpiion-TOom-i ■ ,. „ »7^ 

CRKRK DIVIDING JOKORB FROU SINGAPOKB . . „ „ sSo 

THB VICEROY OF CANTON IN HIS SEDAN-CHAIR 

liauttroin ProcntivHt) 1 i> 284 

THB CORRAM KEIR-APFARENT 11 1, JOO 

A FAVOURITE WALK WITKIN THE WALLS OF WfiNCHOW 

CITY 332 



I am indebttd for pbotogisphs to Mn. Cave-Thomas, Mr. George 
Hudf, Rev. E. Chatgebtcuf (Jtfiiii»iii Slrangirts), His Eicellenc; 
Charlet Waeber, Rev. A. J. Colombel, S.J., Mr. J. Thomson, 
Piofesm E. ChavanDC*, HU Excellency Liu K'nn-yih, Captain BallaQtiQe, 
PrJDCe Husan, Hon. J. Stewart Lockhait, etc., etc. ; but it hia only 
b«en found powble to utilite ■ tithe of those kindly supplied. 



JOHN CHINAMAN 



CHAPTER I 
BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

^ AN EVENT IN THE SNOW 

THE winter of 1877-8 was unusually bitter. 
Every room in the Consulate had double 
windows, in the Bohemian fashion ; the ground was 
covered with snow for weeks at a time, and on a 
windy day it was hard to keep warm in the room, 
even with a big coal fire burning. Yet this was 
the year of the great Shan Si famine, and millions 
of peasants perished monthly from sheer want of 
food. The neighbouring provinces were invaded by 
endless troops of starving people. More especially so 
was the neighbourhood of Chinkiang; I suppose 
because all roads from the north lead thither. I 
used to meet refugee families daily, as I took my 
walks. If the father had any shoes left, he would 
be shuffling along with a wisp of straw in them, or 

I 



2 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

with old swathes tied about his leg, and round 
the fragments of the shapeless shoes. Sometimes he 
would have a couple of babies in one basket, and 
a favourite little dog or a bird-cage or some clothes 
in the other ; and if he had strength, would carry 
them all slung to a pole over his shoulders : other- 
wise they walked a bit, or a neighbour lent a hand. 
The mother, with lank cheeks, stumpy feet, and 
bedraggled hair, would limp wearily in the rear ; 
perhaps the grandparents too. Occasionally they 
would have an old wheelbarrow, or a few sticks of 
furniture ; but they were all alike gaunt and hungry. 
Yet never a word of anger or a movement of 
violence : they all wore the patient, obstinate look 
of camels or sheep. Of course they begged, and 
often whined ; but they were as ready to chaff if 
they got nothing as they were to grovel with grati- 
tude for food or money. Silver coins were of little 
use, scarcely known to most of them, and in any 
case unchangeable for the moment, and much too 
valuable : one-fiftieth of a penny was enough to 
buy a coarse meal. The authorities had provided 
thousands of mat hovels, on the walls, outside the 
walls — anywhere, so long as private rights were not 
invaded, and shelter from the wind was obtainable. 
Skilly was served out gratis twice a day. Every 
morning I saw dead bodies lying about ; but this 
one can see any day on the Beggars' Bridge of 
Peking, and in China it strikes no horror into the 



. 1«t" - _. = 



A FAMINE-STRICKEN MOTHER 3 

imagination. I suppose there were from fifty thou- 
sand to one hundred thousand refugees congregated 
about Chinkiang, over and above the fifty thousand 
r^ular inhabitants inside. At that time the city 
was still half in ruins, and had barely got on its 
imperialist legs again since the recapture of 1857 
from the Taipings. On January 9, I remember, the 
thermometer went down to 11** Fahrenheit, and, I 
presume from general recollection, remained at pretty 
near that figure for the best part of a month after. 

One afternoon, at about four, I was rapidly 
threading my way amongst the refugees, who were 
huddling together in the snow under any scrap of 
shelter they could find about the roads, when I 
saw a woman of about thirty sitting alone, bolt 
upright, on a hank of straw. She wore the usual 
blue cotton wadded coat ; her face was covered with 
tears and mud ; her nice black oily chignon had 
gone to smithereens long ago, and the clotted hair 
filled with sand was flying about in the wind over 
her shoulders. There is a Chinese poetical saying : 
" Approach the tub and sit in the straw," which 
means " to be confined " : it ran through my head 
at that moment. A good-natured, fat woman from 
a small eating-house just then stepped out with a 
big bowl of coarse soup, smoking hot. The woman 
in the straw was swaying herself to and fro and 
groaning ; but she took the bowl greedily, and at 
once devoured the contents. I went on with my walk 



4 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

rather sadly inclined ; but there was no necessity for 
scepticism or surprise, for the American consul had 
told me but a day or two ago of a similar occurrence 
which had taken place whilst he passed along with 
his wife, just outside the British consulate. In about 
an hour I came back the same way, and the woman 
was still there, doing the best she could to wrap up 
a small object in her bosom with rags, wisps of straw, 
sticks, and bits of old clothes. She was now quite 
cheerful, and had a relieved appearance. I gave her 
a ten-cent piece, and asked after her condition. She 
was quite sprightly enough to answer questions, and, 
to judge by her comparatively unconcerned manner, 
it was probably not the first time she had found 
herself in a fix of the kind. Probably she slept 
there, and walked on next morning briskly. 

Archdeacon Gray of Canton, when told this story 
some months later, capped it with another anecdote, 
the details of which, however, arc more suitable to 
The Lancet than to a character sketch-book. No 
" medical men " are ever needed in China ; but a class 
of women known as "life-receivers" make things as 
comfortable as possible for the patient who can afford 
to hire their assistance. 

THE CAPTIVE GIRL 
In times of war, pestilence, and famine, the kidnapping 
and sale of children becomes very prevalent ; but at 
all times and in all places it is more or less in vogue 



•fcA^Wtaus 



THE TALE OF ONE OUT OF MANY 5 

throughout the Empire. It is not easy in any part of 
China to question any but the boat-women closely : even 
poor peasant girls and shrivelled-up old women think 
it good form to run away from any strange man who 
may cross their field ; not to say from any foreigner. 
Sometimes, however, by accident one comes across a 
woman of natural frankness and common sense, just as 
in England one occasionally meets a " lady," free from 
affectation, who can talk in a friendly and natural 
way to a pauper or rough seaman. In the wilds of 
Hu Peh, for instance, I once talked with a single 
woman who was sole and absolute mistress of a large 
inn. Even wives of the first, or confarreatio^ class are 
sometimes bought with money before the compotatio 
(as the Chinese have it) takes place. One of the 
coeniptio^ or second order wives once told me the 
following story. (I may explain that I was trying to 
find out by questioning her how many generations 
an ignorant woman could go back). 

" My ancestors were Hakkas [descendants of coloni 
from the north] of the Sin-ning hien city area, on 
the south coast, not far from St. John's Island, where 
the ' Potuki joss-man ' [St. Francis Xavier] died. 
During the Red-cap [=Taiping] Rebellion of about 
the sixth Ham-fung reign [1856], the whole place was 
being overrun by plundering bands, and the people 
were continually crying, *The rebels are here.' One 
day my mother suddenly began collecting a few bangles 
and valuables, grabbed me by the arm, and ran with 



6 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

me as hard as she could up the mountain. My aunt 
took another direction. Being Hakkas, of course we 
all had big feet, and could get over the ground 
pretty quickly. We soon felt very hungry, and had 
a difRculty in finding enough to satisfy our cravings 
that night In the distance we could see through - 
the darkness all the farms in our neighbourhood being 
burned. I don't know whether my mother sold me 
for food, or whether she merely placed me for safety 
in charge of two men of our acquaintance ; but, any 
way, she separated from me after a little more 
wandering, and the two men sold me for a couple of 
dollars to another man : then I was given a good 
meal and taken down a stream in a small boat towards 
the east, where at a market-town a man offered twenty 
dollars for me. He took me to Macao, where I have 
since lived with his sister. There were other girls 
like myself there, and we were brought up to call 
her ' mother.' She was always very kind to us, taught 
us sewing, how to keep clean, how to preserve the 
hair, teeth, health, etc., to cook, keep house, and so on. 
There are plenty of such places in Macao. I have 
never heard of any single member of my own family 
since, and should not have remembered the above 
had you not plied me with suggestive questions. My 
' mother' owned a junk which used to trade r^ularly 
with Pakhoi and Annam. The custom is for such girls 
to be bred up at Macao, and either sold for two hundred 
to five hundred dollars apiece to natives or fore^^ners 



-#r.ii 



TENDER MEMORIES 7 

on the mainland as wives of the second class, or to 
be let out as such on the hire system — t,e, the master 
or husband pays so much a month until the price, plus 
interest, is made up by instalments. Thus he is not 
committed if he is disappointed. If we can coax enough 
money out of him, we can buy out ourselves, and then 
either resell ourselves to him, or keep the instalments 
going to our own profit. In any case, the * mother' 
never plays us false ; and, as you see, I am now here 
in Macao on a visit to my ' mother ' and her brother, 
although I have now paid her the whole of my 
original price, three hundred dollars, and am free." 

I went on to question her in her old Hakka dialect, 
which she had nearly forgotten, and tried to find out 
exactly from whence she came, so that I might make 
enquiry if the village still existed. By cudgelling 
her memory, she began to recall incidents of how she 
used to help her father to plant the rice ; how the 
crops were alternated ; how her brothers went to 
school in the ancestral temple ; and so on. But when, 
pressed by questions, she came to talk of her old grand- 
father with his long white beard, smoking his pipe in 
the porch, and dandling her on his knee as the sun 
disappeared, she grew dazed, broke down utterly, and 
could never be induced to speak of her old home 
again. Nothing moves a Chinaman more than to 
talk of his native village after he has left it and lost it. 

Tis better to have loved and lost 
Than never to have loved at all. 



8 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

THE JOYS OF MATRIMONY 

The Cantonese apply the irreverent term fan-t'aa p'o, 
or " turned over on the other side wench," to a widow 
who marries again ; it is not considered good form, 
but it is not illegal ; and one highly respectable instance 
of remarriage was once brought forcibly under my 
notice. I had "got wind" of my coming transfer to 
an uncomfortable port (nearly all my ports were the 
uncomfortable ones), when one day Chang-6rh set down 
the soup tureen for dinner rather defiantly, and said : 

" 1 have had an offer of marriage." 

" Why, I thought you told me you had a wife living 
with your mother." 

" Yes, I had ; but she died whilst you were on leave 
and I was in Peking last year." 

" Well, if you didn't bring your first wife to live with 
you, what's the use of marrying a second ? " 

" My first wife was a lunatic, and I never had any- 
thing to do with her after the ceremony. I was the 
simpleton of the family, and my parents or brothers 
took advantage of it to trade off an idiot belonging 
to some rich friends — that was over twenty years ago. 
I have no children. I want to be respectable now. 
You are always scolding me about gambling, drinking, 
smoking, and other vices ; but, as a matter of fact, I 
^m only a trifle too tender-hearted, and have no other 
defects. It is for your own honour that I should get 
married. Look at those nuns at WSnchow, and those 



I WILL FOOT IT WITH MY LORD 9 

Japanese at Chemulpho ! What time I used to waste 
Now I am nearly fifty, and want to be respectable." 

" What have I got to do with it ? I don't care if 
you have fifty wives, so long as my work is done." 

'* Yes, but I want to borrow seventeen dollars ; and 
besides, I want to keep her with me. There is plenty 
of room behind." 

" What sort of feet has she ? " 

" Small, but not very ; and moreover, I am going 
to make her let them out." 

"Who is she? and how was it she knew of 
you ? " 

"She lives in the greengrocer's shop. She is a 
Swatow woman, and her husband was a small military 
mandarin killed by the French at the battle of 
Ma-mwi. She has no money, and she had vowed 
never to marry again. The greengrocer is a Swatow 
man, and he gave her rice, and allowed her to occupy 
a corner of his house. I go there every day to buy 
vegetables, and she seems to have been struck with 
my appearance. Messages and horoscopes have been 
interchanged. She says she does not ask for body- 
money, but she only owns the suit she wears on her 
back. To fit her out in a way suited to your dignity 
as my master ; to hire chairs and music, give a dinner, 
and so on, will cost me seventeen dollars ; and as I 
have now served you for nearly twenty years, I think 
you might bestow this sum." 

" Well, I don't mind ; but if I go anywhere you 



lo BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

will have to come, and I can't have my business 
interfered with in any way," 

" So far from that, I shall no longer go out in the 
afternoons ; it will be for the further safety of your 
house. Besides, she can patch your clothes and darn 
your socks," 

" All right ; marry away. But, mind ! I totally 
ignore her existence. You may t^e her or leave 
her ; but if 1 say ' go,' you will have to go." 

" I think the marriage will take place in about 
three weeks." 

Not many days had elapsed after this conversation 
when the anticipated transfer came. 

" Boy ! " 

"Dja" (a borrowed Manchu term for "yes"). 

" In two weeks I am going south to Hoihow ; but I 
must first go north to Shanghai. How about your 
wife ? " 

" The marriage docs not take place for eight days 
yet." 

"Well, you must change the date, or leave. You 
know what I said." 

" This is exceedingly awkward. Everything is fixed. 
What am I to do ? The guests are invited, the chair 
is ordered." 

" I have nothing to do with that. I never asked you 
to marry, and I am not going to have women standing 
in my way ; you must come or leave." 

Either the same day or the following, Chang-£rh 



''ONLY A WOMAN'S HAIR" ii 

came with a buoyant expression and announced the 
following arrangements. The marriage was to take 
place the very next day ; chair and feasts were to be 
waived. She was to leave in charge of the Swatow 
Guild for Hongkong, and stay at the Swatow 
Guild there until we passed through from Shanghai. 

The next day, whilst at dinner, I heard a com- 
motion, and (having served the dinner in his waiter's 
attire) in walked Chang-firh, dressed in his New 
Year*s costume of yellow silk trousers, pink silk 
gaiters, thick-soled yellow satin shoes, black silk skull- 
cap with red knob, and various gorgeous coats and 
" veskits " too complicated for me to describe. 

" Here she is, old sire ! Give the old sire a 
kotowP 

In walked the blushing bride (the blushes covered, 
however, with paint). She was well dressed in Swatow 
style, of which I know so little that I cannot at all 
describe it. Any way, she wore a suit of neutral-tinted 
"coat and bags," with a head-gear of unspeakable 
magnificence. She could not speak any dialect in- 
telligible either to her husband or myself, but both 
she and he could understand Cantonese ; and, if well 
•'shouted at," she could also understand the drift of 
•* mandarin." 

The arrangements went off without a hitch. 
She was duly installed at Hoihow, and Chang-drh 
became quite a model character. Once a year only 
she came to kotow to me. 



12 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

One fine day a fearful event occurred. 

« Boy ! " 

" Dja'.' 

" In five days I leave for Burma. In forty-eight 
hours all my effects and furniture must be corded 
and shipped by direct steamer to Singapore." (The 
ship measurement was over twelve tons.) 

"What, Mientien [=Burma]? Can I take mywife?" 

" You know what I said. I ignore her existence ; 
but of course I will pay for her." 

The woman was a fearful nuisance. At first she boldly 
went " deck " amongst the coolies. Chang-firh was a 
most attentive husband, and the first officer rigged up 
a sort of canvas screen for them : this was on the 
P. & O. We took fifteen hundred coolies from Singa- 
pore to Penang in a British India steamer, and as 
this was really too much of a good thing (especially 
as half the coolies were Tamils), I gave Chang-^h and 
his wife second-class fare. In Burma it was even 
worse : no Chinese will serve as menial servants there 
(except northern men on the Bhamo steamers), and 
I had to leave her for several months in a Swatow 
man's hotel, and send the Chinese writer second-class 
with her by train to Mandalay, whence by steamer 
to Bhamo, where she was a fixture for a year. She 
earned her keep, and got one dollar a month for darn- 
ing. She was so respectable that one of the missionary 
ladies used to visit her. — When Chang-6rh died, I heard 
from some one that the Swatow Guild, at a; place on 



"IRELAND, IRELAND, UBER ALLES" 13 

the Yangtsze where he was serving, had once more 
taken charge of her, and had sent her home to 
Swatow, (1898). 



MRS. PATRICK FITZPATRICK OTOOLE. 

This Chinese lady was one of the not very many in 
the Orient who had succeeded in uniting to herself, 
by what we in Europe hold to be strictly orthodox 
bonds, her liege lord and master. Very many others, 
of all European nationalities, both in the place where 
Mr. O'Toole was by me discovered, and in scores of 
ports, towns, and remote regions in the Far East, had 
followed, and still follow, the conjugal practices found 
by experience so suitable to surrounding circumstances ; 
the only difference being that for many reasons they 
prefer to limit themselves to those formalities which, 
in the native mind and under Chinese law, suffice f»r 
a legitimate union, with rights of descent. It is usually 
under missionary influence that the husband is induced 
to superadd earthly ties to what they solemnly assure 
him is already a complete marriage in Heaven ; but 
the Chinese females are totally indifferent in most 
instances -to these barbarian refinements of thought, 
which add nothing whatever to their respectability of 
status amongst their own friends, or to the comfort of 
their own consciences. 

Mr. OToole was an old public servant, originally 
of moderate if not humble degree, who had served 



14 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

with credit in the early days of Hongkong, and 
drew a pension. To supplement this exiguous allow- 
ance, he had conceived the idea of becoming a 
merchant prince. He was a fine, portly old gentle- 
man, of most distinguished bearing when I met him 
at Hoihow, with snow-white hair and the general 
appearance of a British Governor, or, say, a Brazilian 
Emperor. His jolly Irish wit at once attracted my 
respectful attention, and as he was the head of the 
firm of " Au-tu," or the " Macao Emporium," — repre- 
senting the sound O'Too (O'Toole & Co.), — I thought 
myself quite justified in asking him to dinner, the other 
guests being officials, missionaries, and naval officers. 
Mr. O'Toole had preserved from the wreck of past 
greatness a good dress suit ; he kept us in roars of 
laughter, and was voted a complete success ; — in fact, 
he was t/ie guest of the evening. 

I soon learnt that his business in transit-passes, 
kerosene oil, sugar, and pigs was really carried on 
by his Chinese wife, a shrill and determined little 
woman, who carried on O'Toole too. Both of them 
were staunch Roman Catholics, and consequently 
both of them received the sanctions of the worthy 
Porti^ese priests, Fathers Baptista and Diegues. 
Poor Mrs. O'Toole worked hard to keep the wolf 
from the door, and, being a British subject by 
" high-toned " marriage, she of course had my perfect 
sympathy. But times and progress were too much 
for her : new syndicates swept away the transit-pass 



"WERE I NOT ALEXANDER" 15 

agencies and kerosene profits. Old OToole became 
practically imbecile, and one day I incidentally heard 
that good Father Diegues was actually stinting himself 
of his meagre allowance in order to keep the orthodox 
family in rice. The local cemetery was a bleak place 
to lay one's bones in, so I arranged with Mrs. OToole 
to clear out, bag and baggage, for Hongkong, where 
the old man survived as a sort of local Micawber for 
another year, his wife remaining true to the last. When 
I last saw him, hanging about the hotel bar, perfectly 
dapper in his clean white shirt and tie, he asked me if 
I could get him a post as " adviser " to (I forget what) : — 
that was when I was myself going through Hong- 
kong as ** Adviser to Burma." 

Father Diegues' behaviour had been so thoroughly 
admirable that I managed to obtain some compensa- 
tion for him from the Foreign Office people, who, 
however, misread the name Diognes. My witty 
successor, in informing me of this, wrote : " It was 
absurd of the Foreign Office to think of Diogenes, 
for even they must have known that no Portuguese 
ever saw £he inside of a tub." 



DEATH OF A-SZ 

"Coolies" as a body in China (when the word is 
taken in the sense of menial coolies or lower-house 
servants) bear the same relation to the " boy " that 
the housemaids and kitchen-women do to our butler. 



i6 BIRTHS. MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

They come only indirectly under the average master's 
eye, and are liable to " get the sack " if the *' boy " 
cannot manage quietly along with them. 

In this state of human affairs 1 acquiesced, subject, 
hdwever, to the following limitations. All wages were 
paid to each recipient by myself, and if the recipient 
was then fool enough to allow himself to be squeezed, 
I never interfered. All employes were on an equal 
footing of justice : the coolies might accuse each other ; 
the writer, or the " boy," or the writer might accuse 
them ; but it had to be face to face, or in writing. 

I was no enemy of gossip ; but when the " boy " had 
entertained me with an Interesting story of how the 
t'ing-di'ai had murdered his wife, accepted bribes, given 
me away to the mandarins, and smoked opium all 
night, I simply asked : " Well, what do you propose 
to do ? Do you wish me to send for X. and ask 
him if this is all true?" Of course he said: "Not 
for worlds ; but I only tell you." 

After a few years it became a fixed tradition that 
no backbiting had any avail ; but of course the coolies 
were different men at each place, for few coolies can 
afford to leave their native spot. Yet they were 
nearly all the same — sturdy, swarthy, patient, indus- 
trious, inofTensive, and respectful men. So soon as 
they found they had " rights," they seemed to develop 
an attitude of humble gratitude and almost surprised 
reverence. I never asked for a "character": if they 
showed me one, I read it, but explained that the good 



A GOOD CHINAMAN 17 

man was the man who seemed good to me, and that 
I wanted no one else's opinion. 

I have not the faintest idea who A-sz was, or 
where he came from. Possibly he was one of Sir 
Brooke Robertson's old retainers ; but any way, I found 
he was one of my private servants when {yide infra) 
I took possession of the old yamin the day after the 
tornado; and so long as the other servants arranged 
things with the '^ boy " without friction, I never cared 
who became my servant, though I never allowed any one 
but myself to dismiss. But A-sz soon struck me as 
being an exceptionally good man : he always " wore " 
bare feet ; rarely spoke within my hearing ; knew how 
to disappear when I approached ; was never late with 
the bath, the boots, and so on ; never quarrelled ; was 
not obsequious; and could stand up and speak like 
a man, looking me in the face with his big, honest 
brown eyes whenever I addressed him. 

A-sz means "Fourth," but the other servants all 
called him A-sz-ko, or " Brother Fourth," in Chinese 
fashion. I used to arrive from the office at 4.45 p.m., 
and after tea go for a walk till 6 or 6.30. He was 
always punctual with the tray, and having once been 
accidentally surprised by me carrying a little child on 
his shoulder when he came up with the tea-things, 
and finding I did not make any adverse remark, he 
continued to do so, and I got into the habit of 
bringing home a trifling present or toy every day. 

Then there was the old Hakka woman who used 

2 



i8 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

to cut the grass. She had a cottage in the front park, 
cultivated a field there, and lived with her grandchildren. 
She got into the way of saluting me, too ; so that 
what with A-sz, his charge, and the old hag, I gradually 
began to realise how — 

Sweet 'tis to know there is an eye will mark 
Our coming, and giow brighter aa we come. 

But cholera is almost endemic inside the city, and 
one day the other servants told me A-sz was down 
with it His wife had come to nurse him, and they 
all wanted to know if I would mind priests being 
called in. For safety (their own safety, for I had 
at least twenty retainers of all kinds in the servants' 
quarters) they had moved him out, and set him down 
in the corridor near my bedroom. The exorcising of 
demons kept me awake all one night, so I slept the 
next on the Shamien settlement. Walking home at 
6 a.m., I found a fearful howling and banging of 
instruments going on. A-sz was dead, and of. course 
had to be encoffined at once. I naturally faid for 
the coffin with all speed, and for the further priestly 
purifications to follow. But there was a gloom in 
the yamin for some time, and it was interesting to 
notice what an affectionate memory A-sz had left 
behind him. 



tarn 



ACTS OF ''SHORT SIGHT" 19 



SUICIDES 

Captain Yankowsky was a fine skipper, and belonged 
to that curious group of foreigners in China who possess 
no nationality. But that is neither here nor there. 
Near the odious town of Shasi, one afternoon, he and 
I were discussing the affairs of the world in general, 
and of Russia in particular, when the steward ran in 
to say: "The boy's overboard." In this instance the 
word "boy" means what it purports to mean, and 
referred to a pretty lad of sixteen who was doing 
what is known as " learn pidgin " on board. The other 
boys (here used in the Pickwickian sense) had been 
" chaffing " him ; and he jumped overboard, with all 
his wadded clothes on, simply to spite them. Naviga- 
tion amongst the shoals was intricate and dangerous, 
but, with a roar of sympathetic fury, good Captain 
Yankowsky was up on the bridge in an instant; a 
boat was manned and out in a minute ; the steamer 
was stoj^d and allowed to drift slowly backwards; 
the lad was fished up by the seat of his trousers just 
as he was sinking for the fourth time, put to bed, 
and dosed internally and externally with brandy. 
Next day he was waiting at table as usual. 

The Imperial Commissioner Pei Yin-sfin at the 
Ma-mwi Arsenal was an old scholar of sixty, and a 
man of vice-regal rank: he ought to have known 
better. He always struck me, when we conversed 
together, as being a trifle moody. He it was who 



20 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

reared a temple in memory of the brave fellows (my 
" boy's " wife's late lamented No. i being amongst 
the number) who were " massacred " by the French 
at the great naval battue of 1 884 ; and he composed a 
learned poem on the subject, which poem still stands 
there, carved upon imperishable stone. One day a 
friend of mine rushed in to announce : " I say, the Com- 
missioner has just tried to commit suicide : he jumped 
off the slip on the sly, whilst pretending to inspect a 
steamer now under repair ; but they got him out in 
time." He had on several occasions applied to the 
Emperor for leave, but he could neither get leave nor 
funds. Hinc illae lackrymae ; or, more strictly, " Hence 
this wetting." Shortly afterwards he got his leave, 
and retired. 

When I was at Chungking, the China Inland mis- 
sionaries used to "save" opium suicides at the rate 
of two or three a week, and they assured me that 
this number was merely a fraction of the "short- 
sighted ones" (as the Chinese call them) who tried 
to get rid of themselves in that one ward of the city. 
Only a minority cared to send for the " foreign doctors." 
Opium is cheap and easily procurable by all persons 
there. Women are the chief delinquents ; or " heroines," 
as they often imagine : it only needs a harsh word 
and a fit of passion, when down goes half an ounce 
of opium — a most comfortable death. 

It will be noticed (by those who read the native 
newspapers, I should add) that the recent " Boxer " 



ANOTHER GENTLE CHINAMAN 21 

troubles are responsible for the suicide of at least a 
score of prominent statesmen. In some cases whole 
families have dived head-foremost into wells in order 
to share the master's disgrace or self-sacrifice. In 
others the Emperor has " bestowed the cord " ; which 
means that a man sits with his back to a panel, and 
his friends strangle him through two holes. So far 
from being considered a crime, suicide is under many 
circumstances regarded as a noble act ; rarely as a 
despicable one, unless done in pure spite, or out of 
revenge. A Chinese amah in a fit of passion once 
jumped off" a P. & O. steamer, carrying in her arms 
the child of an English lady of my acquaintance : 
both were lost, and the lady never smiled again, or 
allowed her remaining child out of sight. 



THE DEATH OF A-NO'S BROTHER 

One day at Wfinchow my big " boy " came rushing in, 
and said in his usual jerky way : " A-no*s younger 
brother has just fallen from the pagoda." The pagoda 
in question belongs to the temple to which **King 
Facfur" fled from Kublai Khan, and stands on an 
island in the river — one of Marco Polo's " islands of the 
ocean." A-no had been my predecessor's scavenger; 
but perceiving that he had a gentle, honest face, I had 
made him my house-coolie, and had allowed him to 
pitchfork his brother into my service as a gardener. 
" What was he doing up the pagoda ? " 



22 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 

" Gathering edible ferns. He fell from the top storey 
but one, thirty feet, flop on to the rock." 

" Did you send him up there ? " (This I asked, at 
once anticipating a charge of " murder," and claims for 
heavy compensation.) 

" No ; he went up yesterday to get a bird's nest, and 
seeing the ferns there, he thought he would have 
another try," 

I went to the servants' rooms and saw the youth, a 
splendid neat-limbed lad of twenty, lying on a mat, 
apparently none the worse. 

"What's the matter, A-ti [= younger brother]?" 

He pointed silently to his stomach, and some one 
said : " It is internal injury : we have sent for his father." 

I gave orders that all the relatives who might come 
should be lodged and fed : at two o'clock he died, in 
the presence of his friends. As I anticipated, the first 
question they asked was : " Did the consul send him 
up?" But after that their demeanour was silent and 
respectful. 

The river rolled rapidly by, flush with the path in 
front of my house-door, and not three yards from my 
bedroom verandah above. The next day was cold 
and fc^gy, as I looked out in early morning and saw 
half a dozen Chinamen clad in the usual Robinson 
Crusoe-like rain-coats fashioned from rush-leaves. Their 
boat was moored in front of the Consulate, and a 
coOin, covered also by a sort of rush-leaf awning, was 
firmly lashed to the timbers. No tears were shed ; no 



1*^ ^ ».■* ^mA 



REVERENCE FOR THE DEAD 23 

noise ; no emotion. Chinamen in these parts row 
standing, and facing the prow. In they all got, and 
suddenly, as they moved oflf, a weird dirge was struck 
up in time with the oars, of a most penetrating and 
shrill kind, in the minor key. And the boat gradually 
disappeared into the fog, the funeral song travelling 
indistinctly back for a long time. It brought to mind 
the pictures of a Viking's barge emerging from a 
Norw^'an fiord, and bound on some barbarous cere- 
mony, such as conveying the body of a dead chief 

POTTED ANCESTORS 

The above is the irreverent term applied by foreigners 
to certain jars met with in some parts of China, and 
supposed to contain either the bones or the ashes of 
crumbled or cremated predecessors. The allusions 
made by Marco Polo to " burning of the dead " are 
too numerous and definite to permit of our doubting 
that, at least in one or two provinces, cremation was 
five 'centuries ago much more common than it is 
now. On June 9, 1870, I myself witnessed the funeral 
of a priest at the Ch*ang-an Sz monastery, west of 
Peking, and I actually saw a dead bonze burnt in the 
Honam temple of Canton ; but I have never once 
heard, or read in history, of the people themselves 
" burning their dead " ; on the contrary, coffins are 
spoken of throughout the whole range of dynasties. I 
have mentioned, under the heading of "Cholera at 



26 BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, AND DEATHS 



coffins and riots ; at the same time I Telt that if the 
municipality possessed the smallest gumption, now was 
their chance. I went for my morning stroll earlier 
than usual. The coffin had utterly disappeared, nor 
were there any traces of sepulture in the vicinity. 
A good job had been made of it, and the venerable 
ark had been carefully transferred to a friendly ditch, 
and tightly covered up. 



CHAPTER II 
THE HAND OF GOD 

CHOLERA AT FOOCHOW 

IN the year 1877 Foochow and Pagoda Anchorage 
suffered severely from cholera for several months : 
the leading doctor (Beaumont) nearly died of it, and 
several other Europeans actually did die. At Pagoda 
Anchorage the carpenters were unable to turn out 
coffins quickly enough, and it was a daily occurrence 
for bodies to be placed outside the wall of the vice- 
consulate, which was on the summit of a hill, precipitous 
on one side. A customs gunboat called the Feihoo 
was in port, and one of the Chinese seamen or quarter- 
masters was suddenly taken ill ; in fact, they had a 
dozen cases on board, but this particular one was 
regarded as good for an hour at most. I forget how 
it came about that I was consulted, but at all events 
it was arranged by Captain Cocker that the dying 
man should be kept apart, behind the funnel. China- 
men are very loth to handle a cholera patient, and 
accordingly they reluctantly and hurriedly dumped 
their comrade down on a sort of iron grating connected 



28 THE HAND OF GOD 

with the funnel and the engine-room whilst a coffin 
was being got ready. 

In taking a constitutional with the above-named 
English commander that afternoon, 1 casually enquired 
where the man had been buried, for I had noticed 
with uneasiness half a dozen new graves within a 
stone's throw of my house. 

He said : " Oh ! he did not die after all ; he seems 
to have had it boiled out of him." 
" How was that ? " 

" Oh I the fatigue party I sent to put him behind 
the funnel set him down on the iron cover just over the 
furnaces in the broiling sun. The iron was almost 
red-hot, and he rolled off after about half an hour of 
it, and now seems none the worse for it We have 
got him in the sick-bay, and he seems likely to recover." 
The man was as well as ever three days after that 
Twelve years later I was again at Pagoda Anchorage, 
and as I passed the site of the graves I noticed an 
old man whose face seemed familiar. I said : " Well ! 
carpenter, is that you ? " 
" Old sire, you have come back," 
"Was it not you who put up those blinds for 
me in the third year of Kwang-sii ? " 
" It was I, old sire," 
" What are you doing there ? " 
" I am digging up these bones for reburiaL" 
" Well, I want the blinds put up again : you had 
better make a contract, as you did last time." 



A NARROW ESCAPE 29 

In an hour or so the old fellow brought his 
estimate and was at work. It seemed as if we had 
both been asleep, like Rip Van Winkle, for twelve 
years, for he wore exactly the same old ragged coat 
and "pants." 



THE GREAT CANTON TORNADO 

I WAS returning by steamer on April 11, 1878, 
to Canton, after an absence of three years. It was 
one of those sultry days on which Dean Swift is 
recorded to have yearned to take off his flesh and 
sit in his bones. Oh ! how I wished I were going to 
be No. I instead of No. 2, in order that I might 
occupy the spacious old yamin in the city, instead 
of following convention in a stuffy dress coat of an 
evening! The charm of the yafnin was that you 
must be in town before sunset. 

When the steamer was threading its way past the 
forest of boats and junks which line the lower city, 
we on deck observed a dark, whirling curtain looming 
ominously from the south-west, and moving over the 
foreign settlement of Shamien, a mile higher up ; as 
we got near, it looked as though thousands of beer- 
bottles and gooseberry-bushes were taking an aerian 
holiday. It did not last more than half a minute, 
and I thought, as it moved north-cast, it must be a 
waterspout There was no noise ; but the junks ahead 
appeared to be taking eccentric dives and flights 



30 THE HAND OF GOD 

into and out of the water, out of mere liveliness 
and sport. 

Arrived off Shamien, we passengers looked hard 
at our houses, as though puzzled to "locate" each 
one. " Hello I Where's the roof of our house ? " 
asked Mr. F. P. Smith. " Why, the junks are all 
turned upside down ! ThoK is a big tree sticking 
root-foremost into Jardine'a drawing-room window ! " 
The Chinese passengers and crew all shouted : " the 
dragon I " — a name for " tornado," as it afterwards 
appeared. 

It was only when we got on shore that we 
realised what had taken place. A column of air, 
or rather of minus-air, sucking up everything in its 
way, had cut like a knife straight through the city ; 
if we had been five minutes earlier, our steamer 
would have been sucked up or smashed to atoms 
too. No one not in its way was aware that any- 
thing had gone wrong ; 'the column of vapour was 
only about one hundred and seventy-five yards tn 
diameter, and it apparently travelled at about the 
speed of a man running his hardest. 

The side of the house assigned to my married 
junior was bl^M „t&.j and therefore, with great self- 
sacrifice, 1 giitp tini mine, and at once condemned 
myself to thftviigBny of long exile in the yamin, with 
my respecteS^iqtetlitf's approval, he also preferring 
the amenities ^vfeMDiiDd life. The "godown" from 
which my furniture^ and belongings had been removed 



AN ECCENTRIC DRAGON 31 

that very morning was flattened like a pack of cards, 
and off the lucky baggage was carted at once to 
my city retreat in the fine, cool deer-park. I forget 
the number of houses destroyed in the city, but it 
was over a thousand ; the gyrating column levelled 
a lane straight across the densely populated suburbs, 
as though a giant with a big flail had brought it 
down flat upon an exhibition of fine crockery laid 
out on a table. Six thousand people were killed 
outright ; innumerable junks were wrecked ; hardly 
a single house on the foreign concession escaped 
injury, and most were unroofed ; iron railings were 
twisted like wire ; gigantic banyans were torn up 
like cabbages ; huge stone seats flung about ; and, 
in a word, " Old Harry " was played with every- 
thing in the tornado's course. Strange to say, no 
European or American was seriously injured ; nor, 
in fact, was the damage done to the foreign island 
of Shamien (in the river) anything like so serious as 
that done to the native city : the reason, apparently, 
was that the "dragon" did not move horizontally 
straight as well as perpendicularly straight, but 
hopped about up and down, sometimes leaving even 
tender flowers in his path quite untouched. 

I had not been five minutes ashore 1)efore both 
the English and the French consuls (neither of whom 
knew a word of Chinese) requisitioned toy services 
to obtain protection for the e xpo se d houses. The 
Viceroy, Liu K*un-yih, had only recently arrived, and 



32 THE HAND OF GOD 

he at once offered every aid ; he put the whole disaster 
down to his own " slender virtue." The Chinese 
never make much fuss about natural calamities ; they 
simply say "Aiya\" and go on with their occupa- 
tions as usual. What ultimately became of the 
whirlwind I do not know, but I believe it worked 
its way right across to Swatow ; it seems to have 
generated itself in the steamy, low-lying river islets 
about Shek-wan, passing over Fatshan ; and then 
after a few zigzags it cut through the western 
suburbs of Canton. There had been some talk of 
giving up the old yam/n for economical reasons after 
Sir Brooke Robertson's retirement — a somewhat weak 
thing to do, after our long fight for the right to 
enter and live inside the city ; however, this tornado 
furnished a good pretext for " holding on " to it ; and 
we still hold on ; and ought to continue holding on. 

WANG-^RH AND THE CHOLERA 
Wang-£rh was the identical individual whom Captain 
Gill has immortalised in his River of Golden Sand. 
Having found that life in Sz Ch'wan afforded its com- 
pensations, he drifted into my service, and followed 
me during four or five land and river journeys, ex- 
tending over several thousand miles, in the capacity 
of t'ing-ch'ai, or official messenger. Beyond being a 
heavy opium-smoker, and consequently a trifle listless 
and unpunctual, he never gave me much cause to 
complain. 



EXPERIMENTUM IN CORPORE 33 

One day, when travelling with me in a boat, 
he sent word to say that he had cholera, and 
feared that his end was approaching. I had provided 
myself with a medicine-chest (which I never used), in- 
cluding amongst other things a bottle of laudanum ; 
but the courage oozed out at my finger-ends when I 
contemplated this dangerous bottle. I had just been 
reading an American publication called, I think, A 
Thousand Facts on a Thousand Things^ and one of 
the thousand facts was a "certain cure for cholera." 
It was, so far as I can remember, to take a pint of 
hot vinegar, mix it with a quarter of a pound of salt, 
and drink one table-spoonful every half-hour till well. 
The Chinese always prefer draughts to concentrated 
doses ; and, therefore, when I confidently gave orders 
to brew this concoction, I at once had with me the 
sympathies of servants and crew. The " boy " was 
charged with the execution of the decree, and proceeded 
without loss of time to administer the remedy, cheer- 
fully remarking to me that, if Wang-6rh should survive 
the ordeal, he and I might securely try it ourselves on 
some future occasion. 

After the lapse of about four hours, during which 
time I heard agonising sounds from the compart- 
ment assigned to opium-smokers, all pointing to 
the inference that tissue of some kind was under- 
going rapid displacement, a dead silence ensued, and 
I began to feel guilty qualms of conscience. When 
the "boy" pushed aside the sliding door to give 

3 



34 THE HAND OF GOD 

me my afternoon tea, he whispered mysteriously : 
" Wang-€rh is sleeping very ripe ! " 

I said : " Let him sleep." 

Next morning, when I called out for my hot 
water, I heard hilarious conversation, and a minute 
later in walked (or rather crept, for he was altt^ether 
too tall for the boat) Wang-£rh himself. He set down 
the water, flung himself on his hands and knees, 
knocked his head thrice on the flooring, and said : 
" I give old sire the. kotow. I have not been once 
to-day. I am evidently cured." And he was. After 
that he reduced his opium allowance, and took to 
pills ; in fact, I learnt afterwards that it was his attempt 
to give up opium-smoking that had bouleversi Us 
entrailUs. 

A CELESTIAL COINCIDENCE 
.The historical Chinese expression for " there was an 
eclipse of the sun " is, " the sun had an eater of it." 
Lunar eclipses are also recorded, but not so carefully 
as those of the sun. The first solar eclipse we can be 
at all certain about is that of 776 B.C., recorded in the 
Book of Poetry, about half a century after the time 
when the trustworthy historical dates begin. At that 
time the year began earlier than it does now, and 
the "junction of the tenth moon" was, it seems^ 
August 29 or 30, according to when the astronomical 
day began. 
On the night of November 4, 1892, I was smoking 



EATING THE MOON 35 

my cigar on the verandah of the bungalow placed 
at my disposal by the Chinese Rajah of Renoung, 
in Siam. Two diminutive Siamese soldiers mounted 
guard, and I was dreamily reading an account of a 
remarkable eclipse of the moon which had taken 
place in Siam during Constantine Phaulcon's time. 
The town seemed to me very gay, for I could hear 
merry crowds banging gongs and making the ** devil's 
own row" in the bright moonlight. The old French 
book I was reading had been lent to me by an official 
at Mergui, and the author, whose name I forget (perhaps 
Turpin) was very minute in his descriptions of "the 
contact," and so on. It occurred to me then to look 
up at the moon in front of me, which just at that 
instant seemed to be obscured by a small cloud of 
great density : the hour reminded me of the exact 
circumstances described in the book, and the latitude 
was almost the same as in the eclipse of two centuries 
ago observed by the ambassadors of Louis XIV. 
Then a thick black line appeared to eat into the moon, 
and the gongs and crackers in the town grew louder. 
There were no newspapers in those parts, nor had I 
seen one for many weeks. Surely this cannot be an 
eclipse of the moon, under precisely the same con- 
ditions and in the very country I am reading about? 
By this time the moon was nearly obscured, and it 
became evident that it really was a total eclipse. 

Although the theory of eclipses has from very early 
times been clearly understood by the Chinese, the 



36 THE HAND OF GOD 

Astronomical Board still considers it advisable to notify 
the provincial authorities of the time at which they are 
to begin the process of " rescuing." The popular idea 
is that a dog or some other rapacious beast is devour- 
ing the orb, and that it may be frightened away by 
noise. The local Chinese " dynasty " of Khaw (Hii) was 
strictly carrying out imperial forms. About thirteen 
years previously there was an eclipse of the moon 
visible at Canton on December 29, and I saw a des- 
patch from the Board to the Viceroy: " I have to in- 
struct you to begin rescuing at (whatever time it was)." 
As the Chinese day begins at midnight for astronomical 
purposes, it is probable that they now calculate their 
eclipses on the European system, as taught to them 
by the early Jesuits. The expressions they use are 
" first deficit," " eaten quite," " eaten very," " yield light," 
and " again round " ; which would seem to correspond 
to " first contact with the shadow," " beginning of the 
total phase," " middle of the eclipse," " end of the total 
phase," and " last contact with , the shadow." The 
double Chinese " hour " of midnight extends from 
eleven to one, and the first half of it is called " night 
first hour," to distinguish it from the half which lasts 
from midnight till one o'clock.— The above singular 
coincidence impressed me very much. 



CHAPTER III 
THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

CHINESE WASHERMEN 

IN 1877, on my way back to China, I stopped for 
a night at several towns such as Omaha, Salt 
Lake City, Ogden, Merced, San Jos6, etc. It is 
immaterial which town it was, but at one (I think 
Salt Lake City) I happened to wander past a group 
of Chinese wash-houses, such as one sees in them 
all, and thought I would "have a bit of fun." I 
introduced myself as the possible coming Chinese 
consul. I said that China had just sent a Minister 
to Europe, and that I had come round to enquire 
into Chinamen all over the world, as a preliminary 
step to the Emperor's sending a consul to San 
Francisco. "Tell me all your grievances." (They 
were Cantonese.) 

One said : " I saved about five hundred dollars a 
year s^o, and put it into the bank on deposit. I 
want to go home, and the bank won't give me my 
money." He showed me the receipt and a memo. 
from the bank, stating that no transfer could be 

37 



38 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

effected unless Mr. A-lin (or some such name) en- 
dorsed the paper. 

1 said : " Come with me to the bank." 

We marched in, and I said : " Here's a Chinaman 
who says you have five hundred dollars of his, and 
won't give it up." 

The manager said : " Yes, we have ; but we don't 
know that that's the Chinaman : they're all the same." 

I said : " It seems to me that in accepting the man's 
money you ought to have taken the necessary steps 
to identify him, or secure his signature." 

The manager replied : " We have a hier(^lyphic 
which he has written, but other Chinamen say it 
possesses a different sound." 

I looked at it, and found that A-Itn (his " Christian " 
name) had styled himself Cheng Lin in due form, 
Ch£ng being his family name, and " A " a mere 
expletive. 

"Then what are you going to do?" 

"We will do anything he likes, so long as we get 
an indemnity through a notary." 

I expl^ned to A-lin that he must get his friends 
to "skewer" the bank, in case any one else should 
claim the money later on, and must get a ckong-sz 
(= pettifogger) to act as witness. We then went back 
and talked it over with the other washermen. As 
I judged from their hold-offishness that they thought 
I expected some commission, I then left them, for I 
had no time to waste. 



FROM "MOST BEAUTIFUL" PEKING 39 

In spite of their cunning, Chinamen usually show 
a childish confidence in " established " foreigners of 
any kind, whether it be matter of a bank, a consul, a 
missionary, or a working manager. I have known 
mandarins, whose hostility to missionaries had brought 
on a threatened riot, to send their own valuables for 
safety to these same missionaries. A great deal of 
trust property is held in foreign names at Shanghai 
for the benefit of Chinese, who often have no security 
whatever beyond word-of-mouth undertakings. 



THE CHINESE DIPLOMAT IN RUSSIA 

** HiER muss man das Maul fest halten " were the 
warning words of a German " drummer " who occupied 
with me the hotel omnibus as I underwent my first 
experiences of St Petersburg. To the uninitiated, I 
may explain that a Maul is a " mug " ; but I took 
no notice whatever of his remark, and opened mine as 
freely in Russia as elsewhere, even to the extent of 
bearding Governors and Vice-governors in their own 
dens when they bothered me too much with their 
meticulosities. 

I was sauntering along the Nevski Prospekt one 
summer's day, when I saw in front of me an unmistak- 
able Pekingese holding, by a straw attached to the 
little finger, a small paper parcel, exactly as, in the 
odoriferous streets of the " Most Beautiful " (sAou-s/ian), 
it is the custom to carry home a few ounces of pork 



40 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

or a packet of brown sugar of an evening. The 
Pekingese do not say " How do you do?", or " Good 
morning," but " Where are you going ? ", or " Have you 
eaten rice ? " Accordingly 1 said ; " Shang na-rk a?" 
(" Where are you off to ? ") ; and as the man turned 
quite unmoved to see who it was, I added: "Ck'ih-lo 
fan-lo-mo?" (" Have you eaten rice?"). He seemed to 
think it the most natural thing in the world to be thus 
addressed, and showed no emotion whatever. In 
answer to his questions, I told him I was not a 
Russian, but had just come from his native place. 
When I told him I was preserving my incc^ntto, and 
he heard the most secret purlieus of Peking mentioned 
familiarly, he seemed to think I was in some mysterious 
way a northern Chinaman in di^uise. It turned out 
he was an attaclti at the Legation, to which place he 
took me. There I made the acquaintance of the 
Manchu cliargi d'affaires, and for several days we went 
about together, — to the museums, the " fortress," tombs, 
cathedrals, monasteries ; to the Arcadia and Bavari 
public gardens (it is quite light until 1 1 p.m. there) ; and 
to various other places not so easy of access without 
some influence. 

In any country but Russia, to be seen chatting with 
Chinamen in a Btergarten would attract a crowd ; but I 
was given a particularly wide berth, — by the common 
people because they thought I was an official, possibly 
a police-agent ; by the " swells " because they assumed 
from my confident manner that I was " authorised " in 



I DO NOT LIKE THEE, DR. FELL 41 

some way. Only on one occasion a man I bad noticed 
** shadowing " us, and who, I had told the cJtargi^ was 
absolutely certain to find a pretext for joining us, did 
really come to our table. He addressed the Chinamen, 
or rather Manchus, as ''old friends" in French, and 
said he had met them at somebody's reception ; as I 
looked vacantly forward, he then proceeded to ask who 
I was. He was informed that I apparently spoke no 
language but that of Peking, and that I was not a 
Russian, but that we knew common friends ; and that 
was all they could say (nor did they ever press me 
further). I have no doubt the man in question was one 
of the police-agents, and that he solved the mystery 
for himself by following me on that or some other 
day to my hotel. 

The following afternoon the Czar was giving a 
reception, and all the diplomats went to the palace of 
Peterhof. In St. Petersburg things are done in the 
free-and-easy way of the Pincio at Rome, and there is 
not much " carriage style." I went to have a look, and 
found my Manchu friend coming away in a common 
open droschky. That night we went to the Leitny 
Gardens, and played some more pranks there. — At 
Moscow and Nijni Novgorod, later on, I had some 
more ** carryings on" with certain Shan Si Chinese 
much to the mystification of the ever-watchful Russian 
police. 



42 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

CHINESE IN SUMATRA 

Ik June, 1878, the Chinese Government sent a 
Cantonese named Ch'Sn Lan-pin as Minister to 
Washington. His sphere of influence included Spain 
and the Spanish-Portuguese Republics, and " grew out 
of" the ill-treatment of coolies in Cuba. A mission 
of enquiry, conducted by Mr, Macpherson, of the 
Foreign Customs, had passed through Shanghai for 
Cuba in October, 1873. (Incidentally, I may mention 
that when I was in Cuba [1894] the ill treatment of 
Chinese had ceased.) The Macao " slave trade " had 
been stopped, largely through the efforts of Great 
Britain, in 1874; and the Peruvians (also under sus- 
picion) were busy at Canton with their proposed 
coolie hiring, when Ch'cn Lan-pin called to consult 
certain of his friends about it. The Peruvians did 
not eventually succeed. Two years later the Brazilians 
came to try their hand ; and the Dutch were also 
particularly anxious to facilitate the importation of 
Chinese coolies into Sumatra, as their methods were 
such that the British (Indian) Government did not 
care to encourage the emigration of Klings, at least 
unless a British oflicial were allowed to watch the 
whole business. 

It was under 'these circumstances that I took an 
opportunity of visiting the Sumatra tobacco planta- 
tions of Deli, in the spring of 1S88, in order that I 
might see on my own account and with my own 



ISRAEL IN EGYPT 43 

eyes the real state of affairs. Deli seems to be prac- 
tically the old state of Ferlech, or Parlac, visited by 
Marco Polo ; and when I was there, quite a flourishing 
town called Medan, connected with the port by a 
good railway, had grown up in the neighbourhood 
of the Deli Maatschappij's chief plantations. Very 
few Englishmen owned tobacco interests ; the most 
enei^etic, and the least tender to the Chinese, seemed to 
be the Germans. I found the rules made by the authori- 
ties fairly good on paper ; but, on visiting the tobacco- 
fields, and closely enquiring from the coolies themselves, 
I was convinced that the majority of them were in 
a position little removed' from virtual slavery. In 
the first place, they had to sign bonds to serve for 
a minimum time (three to five years) at fixed wages ; 
then they had to guarantee repayment of their passage- 
money and outfit ; every encouragement was given 
to them to " extend their term," and to spend as 
much of their money as possible in " tuck-shops/' 
brothels, and other places provided for their recrea- 
tion ; the food they bought and the opium they 
smoked brought profit at their expense to either the 
administration or the " owner " ; loans were offered 
freely ; penalties for breach of discipline were heavy ; 
and the " laws of evidence " were such that practically 
the white man was able to " work the case " in his 
own interest. Every possibly obstacle which the law 
allowed was directly or indirectly put in the coolies' 
way to prevent their leaving for China with their 



44 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

earnings ; but they were invited to send savings, and 
to coax their relatives to come too. The influence 
of " smart " Chinese was used to compel the unwilling. 
Nearly all the coolies I saw said, on their own behalf 
and on that of their friends, that they would be only 
too glad to escape with their possessions, if they could. 
Of course the Dutch and German planters put a very 
different colour upon the story. They said (which 
was true) that the hut accommodation was good ; 
the medical attendance adequate ; food sufHcient, and 
not excessively dear ; hours reasonable ; amusements 
and pleasures to be got for the paying ; but that 
order and discipline had to be preserved with a strong 
hand. Still, having seen most other foreign resorts of 
Chinese, I say that, as compared with Chinese con- 
tract labourers in English Protectorates, the men were 
in serfage ; they were infinitely worse off than the 
same Chinamen in French colonies, where a man is at 
least free, even though he may be bullied and over- 
taxed. In a surreptitious way the planters hoodwinked 
the officials, who perhaps made little effort to be unde- 
ceived ; they seemed to strain every letter of the law 
to entangle in the meshes of debt, indiscretion, greed, 
and vice ; and the whole system appeared to me (who 
see for myself, and take no man's interested assur- 
ances) to be negative if not positive slavery ; but 
still a mild slavery. However, I see from our Swatow 
consul's last report on the coolie traffic that things are 
now better. 



DON JUAN IN A PIGTAIL 45 

CHINESE IN AUSTRALIA 

During the past dozen years of exclusionist policy, 
it is not probable that the Chinese population of 
Australasia has increased, and it may safely be assumed 
that, including New Zealand, the total figure does not 
exceed the sixty thousand of 1888. The general atti- 
tude of white men towards the Yellow Race may be 
gathered from the following, repeated almost word for 
word from the mouth of an English miner employed 
by the Wo Hap firm of Ballarat. 

" Oh ! they're not bad fellows, them Chinese ; the only 
thing is they're so dirty in their ways, and won't spend 
nothin*, and they plays old 'Arry with our women. 
But they doesn't* do us no 'arm ; only we want none o' 
their blood a-mixin' with ourn. We can put up with 
them as we've got, but we won't have no more o' them. 
If they'd only bring their wives and settle down, we 
could stand it well enough ; but they goes a-sellin' o' 
handkichers and sich to them Irish girls, so soft- 
spoken like, that the girls gets kind o' fond o' them ; and 
the Chinaman he makes a very nice husband too, for he 
gets up early to make the fire, washes the togs, and 
lets 'em dress up just as they like ; and they are always 
a frightenin' of him — don't ye see? — and if he didn't 
fork out, he'd think they'd be after some other chap." 

Six shillings (and this but one-half of what the 
Australian Irishmen try to get per diem) is exactly 
what a Chinaman receives a month at home, and to 



46 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

keep his whole family. Wo Hap employed sixty of his 
own countrymen (Cantonese delta) and forty Europeans ; 
the latter mostly as carters ; only Chinese did the 
wheelbarrow work. 

It was amusing and interesting to see how the supple 
Celestials accommodated themselves to the taste of 
their rough British mates. They slouched their soft 
hats' brim down over the face in colonial style, strapped 
their trousers below the knees, wore heavy boots and 
red flannel shirts, and affected the clumsy, hearty, " how 

the h are you " ways of their gruff companions. I 

noticed a slight tremor in the voice of the Hakka 
who was " trying it on " with me ; his nerve gave way 
when I addressed him in Cantonese, and in reply to 
my query he produced his pigtail, coiled snugly up in 
the recesses of bis billycock, when he found " it was all 
up." By leaving an unshaved fringe round the crown, 
and thus concealing the caudal temptation to " larks " 
and horse-ptay, the Chinaman can easily produce the 
general appearance of an unkempt Italian ; and when 
there is no external evidence of " Mongolian " origin, 
the Irish mate soon forgets the incongruity. 

At night the Celestials retire to their own huts in the 
" camp " outside the town, which there is no need for 
any European to visit ; there they can pig away with- 
out fear of molestation. The well-to-do, and especially 
those with white wives, own the gambling-houses, 
opium-dens, and shops or stores in China Street (in- 
side the town). As no one understands Chinese ways, 



NOTICE TO MR. TONY WELLER 47 

there is little police interference with them. The only 
thing is that a private detective (I met one) is 
told off in the large towns to prevent the abduction 
of English girls, who are at once sent to prison, if 
found with Chinamen, for having no " visible means of 
subsistence"; — unless they marry, that is. Chinese 
"protection" is not recognised, especially when there 
is reason to believe that more than one "protector" 
exists over one and the same subject. In Sydney 
there are a good many excellent Chinese shops at 
the bottom of George Street, near the Circular Quay, 
and in Melbourne the greater part of one whole 
street is Chinese. In Adelaide there are occasional 
** stores," ; but in each and every case European costume 
is worn, which, being of the " street cad " type, effectu- 
ally deprives the Australian Chinaman of any native 
dignity he may possess at home. Several, however, 
have become prominent and useful citizens, and quasi- 
Anglicised. I saw several who might have sat for 
Mr. Stiggins's portrait, with pot hat, white choker, and 
umbrella. 



THE CHINAMAN IN NEW ZEALAND 

John Chinaman was not viewed with favour in New 
Zealand when I was there; in fact, a prosperous 
Celestial trader in Fiji (Hung-H), who travelled with 
me to Auckland from Levuka, expressed doubts as 
to the possibility of a Chinese' landing on any terms 



48 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

just then. Nay, more, there was a " blaclc-l^ " dispute 
about the crew of the very steamer {Mariposa) in 
which I subsequently left Auckland for Honolulu. 
Of course, those Chinese who were already in the 
country were not interfered with ; but the Maritime 
Labour Council went so far as to decline to permit the 
supply of coal to the Zealandia (the steamer which 
preceded mine), " manned as she is by Chinese in the 
stoke-hole, to the detriment of the white race," and 
in order to defeat the " endeavours to reduce our race 
to the level of Mongols." It was, therefore, not without 
surprise one day that, as I was sitting on the box-seat 
of Mcllroy's coach, on the way to the Haka Falls, I 
observed a Chinese ostler calmly walk up with a 
bucket of water for the horses. His behaviour and 
attitudes were exactly those of the innkeeper employes 
on the Peking roads \ but I could see from his " pants " 
that he was a genuine Cantonese. I shouted out from 
the box the usual Cantonese query : " Are you from 
Namhoi or P'unyii [= from which half of the city] ? " 

"I am a Sai-ts'iu man," said he (south-west of 
Canton), without displaying the slightest surprise. 

I then asked him a few questions about the treat- 
ment he and his compatriots received in New 
Zealand. 

The passenger sitting next to me on the box here 
interposed : " Was that Chinese you were talking ? " 

" Yes ; Cantonese." 

" I. used to study Chinese once — about twenty years 



MAKES A ''MfeKLE" 49 

ago, that was ; and the pronunciation I learnt was 
quite different" 

'' Who taught you ? " 

" A missionary in London." 

" There was surely only one man teaching Chinese in 
London twenty years ago, and that was an ex-missionary 
named Summers." 

"That is the name of the man." 

" Then we must have been there together." 

It turned out that we had both taken lessons at the 
same time in George Yard (just opposite Mr. Pickwick's 
chop-house), and had encountered the same fellow- 
students; but had never met each other. 

Maiy or J/<^^, is a Chinese family name (Cantonese 
pronunciation), and is pronounced like the Afc in 
McPherson — without any definite vowel. In Otago 
nearly every one is Scotch, and so the son of one A-fu 
(or M6k Fu) ingeniously styled himself Macplurson. 
In this way did the wily Celestial circumvent the 
canny Scot, and became a prominent citizen. When 
I was there he resided at Round Hill, and, if I am 
not mistaken, had an Irish wife ; at all events, I met 
several prominent Chinamen in the colonies who were 
happily married to British wives ; and several wives 
told me (in a whisper) they preferred a Chinaman 
to a white man, as being more sober, domesticated, 
and thrifty. 



50 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

FRENCH CHINAMEN 

Although we are given to animadvert upon French 
colonial incapacity, and although I myself have in- 
dulged in considerable " chaff " at the cost of their 
fussy and superfluous fonctionnaires, I must state 
outright that there is a good deal of generous and 
noble-minded disinterestedness about the French 
administration in the Far East. They spend huge sums 
upon public works, markets, and all sorts of advantages 
for the indigenes, (they also waste a great deal upon 
banquets and ceremonies,) and there is no doubt that 
the French priests, in their ecclesiastical efforts, have 
a higher repute than the Spaniards of Manila as regards 
purity and good faith. But, having been over a good 
part of Tonquin and a fair proportion of Annam, I 
must confess that it always appeared to me that the 
Chinese cordially hated the French official ways. It is 
not that the rules and regulations are not just and good, 
but they are too pin-pricky. What the Chinese like 
about the English administration is that it ignores them, 
and they are themselves left absolutely alone. 

Hongkong, and even more Singapore, is a wonderful 
spectacle of mixed liberty. The French do not 
interfere with liberty in theory, but it is the caprice 
and incapacity of individual officials that harasses the 
Chinese. For instance, the instant a man lands, he 
has- endless trouble with his baggage, his effects, and 
the tarif ^ttiral; he is cuffed and shoved about; he 



AURI SACRA FAMES 51 

has to pay a heavy annual poll-tax, get photographed 
at his own expense, have himself affiliated to some guild, 
and obtain various permits and passes. The Chinese are 
a republican race, and in their own country salute no 
official in the streets. The French do not properly 
understand Chinese ways ; and thus the Chinaman at 
one moment insults his "protectors" with impunity, 
whilst at another the hot-headed French officer or police- 
man boxes his ears for some neglect of form which is 
purely imaginary. On the other hand, the Chinaman 
does not understand French ways, and irritates the testy 
jack-in-office by resisting bond fide attempts to benefit 
himself, as often as he unwittingly breaks the law in his 
earnest endeavour to observe some childish regulation. 

In a word, the government is "uneven." On the 
one hand the priests, who really exercise an admirable 
influence, exhort to virtue and self-denial : it is a pity 
they cannot follow this out without calling for incessant 
contributions. The weak point of the Roman Catholic 
Church, here as elsewhere, is that you cannot enter a 
church, sit down, burn a candle, or do anything towards 
your soul's salvation without paying for it. It is all 
pay, pay, pay ; and obey, obey, obey. Then, again, the 
position of priests vis-d-vis of civilians is doubtful : in 
China it is all clamour for priestly rank and rights : 
in Indo-China the priests are jealously kept within 
tether, and as often as not snubbed and ridiculed by 
the civilian French. The very frankness of Frenchmen 
in questions of morality or immorality,— the very 



S2 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

absence of that goody-goodiness which some English- 
men possess and others affect, — leads to an apparent 
divergondage which is not approved even by the 
Chinese. Then there is the absence of business 
capacity ; the martinet-like adherence to fixed hours 
and rules not essential to the furtherance of objects 
desired ; the excessively severe opium rules ; the 
granting of monopolies ; the wholesale licensing of 
gambling-houses (the Chinese, of course, like this, though 
they do not respect it) ; the grinding taxation ; the 
want of calmness and bonhomie ; a waste of time over 
the midday siesta ; official ccnsoriousncss, prying, and 
arbitrariness : — all these taken tt^ether tend to make 
the more intelligent Chinese despise French rule. 

Personally, I have always enjoyed the utmost 
hospitality at the hands of genuine French officials, 
naval, military, and civil ; and I hope, and believe, not 
one has any ground to complain of me ; the only 
persons I have found disagreeable are "mercantile 
officiala" One need not be such a simpleton as to 
swallow all the yarns every discontented Chinaman 
relates ; but I used to talk with every one who would 
speak to me ; and, for the reasons given above, they 
in each case left the same impression upon me. The 
government is a good one, but capriciously adminis- 
tered by ill-trained agents ; it requires unification and 
steadiness; and I feel convinced it will never fully 
succeed until the French voluntarily take a leaf from 
our book, and "let the Chinamen be." 



"HE WAS A GOODLY KING" 53 

THE CHINAMAN IN HAWAII 

Although American influence, and notably that of 
the sugar "king" Spreckels, was firmly established 
and predominant, yet Hawaii was still nominally an 
independent kingdom when I got a glimpse of it, and 
the total population was about seventy-five thousand, 
of which Chinamen numbered one-third. Since then 
there has been a large increase, especially of Japanese. 

In 1878 the "Great Sandal Islands" (the Chinese 
name) addressed an official communication to the 
viceregal government of Canton, but Liu K*un-yih 
showed no disposition at all to enter into diplomatic 
relations with that obscure "power." One king came 
on a visit to Shanghai, but I forget his name and 
the year of his visit. Kalakaua was not much of a 
monarch. He accepted a bribe of seventy thousand 
dollars from a Chinaman in exchange for the opium 
monopoly, notwithstanding that it was a criminal 
offence to smoke the drug in the islands at all. His 
(American) judges "decreed" that his majesty should 
restore the money to the Chinaman ; but meanwhile 
a " Total Exclusion Bill " was introduced into the 
legislature, the ostensible objection to poor John being 
his "immorality." All this was just before my visit 
to Honolulu. 

It is true that Chinese emigrants here as elsewhere 
are slow to bring their own women with them until 
arrangements are made for permanent cemeteries, and 



54 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

until a feeling of justice and security is engendered in 
their minds ; yet the lady Kanakas arc only too pleased 
to consort with Johannes (for a consideration). Chinese 
industry has brought under cultivation vast tracts 
which would otherwise have lain waste ; but here, as 
at home, the labourer who saves a few dollars takes 
the first opportunity of turning to trade. When I 
was there, half the best shops were Chinese, and of 
course they undersold the white men : hence the 
jealous cry, " ruined by Chinese cheap labour." One of 
my Canton lady acquaintances (American) had married 
a missionary and joined in his work there. There were 
also some Hakka Christians under the Basel Mission, 
and some American lady-missionaries from Foochow. 
The labour immigrants were nearly all of Kwang 
Tung provenance, but not necessarily from Canton ; 
and their guild was practically under the control of 
the Chinese Minister at Washington, who "put the 
screw on " persons disagreeable to him by getting 
the Viceroy at Canton to " go for " their relations at 
home. Of all these facts I obtained documentary 
evidence at the time ; but at this moment I have no 
doubt the Americans have crushed out all Chinese 
aspirations in the direction of political intrigue, at 
which they are passed masters. 

In consequence of the tendency of Celestials to 
gravitate to " Chinatown " in Honolulu, the Japanese 
were ofBcially encouraged to come in 1888, and a 
thousand of them had just arrived in the Takasago 



"SWEETNESS AND LIGHT" WANTED 55 

Maru when I landed, twenty per cent, of them 
being (under the convention) women. The Japanese 
take more kindly to permanent plantation life than 
do the Chinese, and, moreover, give no trouble 
about ancestors, graves, opium, bribery, and municipal 
intrigue. 

If the Chinese Central Government had had any 
"go" in it, there would have been no great difficulty 
in annexing the group in 1886, just at the moment 
when the Emperor's father was Admiral of the 
New Fleet ; when Japan had been " defeated " in 
Corea ; when the United States were at loggerheads 
on the labour question ; and when Russia was really 
afraid of China in the Ussuri Province. I happened 
to be in Honolulu on Kalakaua's birthday, and the 
Chinese prisoners were engaged with the native 
criminals in dancing and posturing to the strains of 
their native guitar. I had some conversation with 
them, and in surveying this allegorical scene I came 
once more to the conclusion already formed, that the 
easy ways of genuine barbarians are in many re- 
spects kindlier and more humane than the Pecksniffian 
tyranny of certain " outer barbarians " of Christendom, 
notably those of the Scotch-Dutch type. Moreover, 
I had but recently conversed on the sly with some 
French "murderers" in New Caledonia, and felt sick 
of contemplating the harshness of man to man : 
the French system seemed to me brutal, despite its 
pampering discipline. 



56 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

DON MAGNIFICO 

It was curious for me, coming from China, where 
you can buy a man, woman, or child for a few shillings, 
to observe the "side" which the same Chinese had 
traditionally acquired in Burma. There were two 
currents : the Pekingese-speaking of Yun Nan, entering 
Upper Burma by land from the north, with more or 
less " conquering " traditions ; and the Cantonese, or 
Fukienese-speaking, entering Lower Burma by sea 
from the south, imbued more with the English or 
prc^essive ideas. But both currents agreed in one 
respect : they declined to serve as menials, and they 
toughiy held out for the privilege of not dressing as 
in China ; that is to say, the pigtail — now so beloved, 
despite its humiliating origin — was carefully preserved 
on principle, but was as often as not concealed in a 
turban, or a billycock ; the long gown — the " toga " 
of the Chinese — was likewise stowed away for sacrificial 
occasions, or to do honour to Chinese otBcials on the 
rare occasions when Burma was officially visited. 

With the exception of a few northern Chinese waiters 
on the Bhamo steamer, the Bhamo missionaries' 
" boys," and the servants either brought from China 
or hired on the frontier by the consular officers who 
had preceded me, I never saw a single menial Chinese 
in Burma, and monopolised all the specimens myself ; — 
that is, I never saw one serving a European, and I 
was informed that the various guilds would not allow 



"HAPLY THAT I AM BLACK" 57 

iL Of course they served each other. Imagine, 
then, the consternation when I appeared upon the 
scene with a gigantic northerner speaking almost pure 
Pekingese, always dressed in robes at table, and never 
daring to coil up his pigtail in my presence ; accom- 
panied, moreover, by a Swatow wife, who had even 
had the audacity to 'Met her feet out" They might 
as well have asked Chang-6rh to oblige them by 
cutting his throat as ask him to disobey me. However, 
there was no difficulty. Chinese always give way 
before "irresistible persuasion," so long as that per- 
suasion accords with their home " form " ; just as cow- 
boys or diggers (Artemus Ward tells us) consent to 
be at least negatively decent, when missionaries or 
women arrive to remind them of meeting-house and 
" veskits." 

But Chang-6rh was too big a cargo to carry about 
steamers and railways : Burma is more " oriental " 
than China ; a European traveller needs some one 
who can coil himself up on the door-mat ; get up at 
any instant, night or day ; go to sleep at any monient 
to kill the time ; and practise the innumerable ways 
of a " hot country," which China is really not. Hence 
Chang-£rh and his wife were left to hold the fort 
(it was truly a fortress in its tremendous strength) 
at Bhamo, whilst first Wawa (= "Baby'*), a diminutive 
Yiinnanese Christian, lent me by a French missionary ; 
and then Joseph, a coal-black Tamil, a still more 
diminutive Madrassi Christian, lent by another French 



58 THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

missionary, followed me all over Burma. Wawa was 
forced to wear a robe, but, "yielding to the solicitations 
of his friends," he soon gave notice to quit 

It was only when I was leaving Burma for good that 
I decided to spring a surprise upon the local upper ten 
by producing Chang-firh officially in all his glory for 
their inspection. The Chief Commissioner (now 
Lieutenant-Governor) had invited me to dinner, and 
Chang-Srh was simply informed : " I dine out to-night," 
He put on his best blue silk robe, extending nearly 
to the feet ; his two-inch thick yellow satin shoes, 
pink satin t ao-k-u, or " bags " (a sort of legging or lower 
half-hose) ; got his tremendous glossy pigtail (which 
in his younger days had also reached to the toes) 
nicely trimmed with red silk ; and, preening with pride, . 
presented himself to lay out my shirt and put in the 
studs. 

But the Rangoon gharries (cabs) are ramshackle 
affairs ; and it was very showery ; so, instead of perching 
him on the narrow, uncomfortable box, next to the 
frowsy Tamil driver, I said : " You can go inside." 
Poor Chang-£rh had never in his life actually sat at 
such close quarters face to face with his terrible master ; 
so he took a respectful side attitude, with hands meekly 
folded, on the edge of the seat, wearing a resigned air 
like that of Mrs. Cluppins at the trial, and, uncertain 
whether he should talk or not, sheepishly looked 
through the window at nothing in particular, with an 
uncomfortable, vacant stare. 



VICARIOUS GREATNESS 59 

Arrived at the great man's house, he leapt eagerly 
out of his cage, and, as all Chinese servants do at 
home, elbowed his way through the various flunkeys 
(Burmese and Hindoo), to the servants* department 
behind. I then got out, and was relieved of my 
hat, etc, by the butler, who showed me in. People 
seemed to be fussing about something, for the Tamil 
or Burmese butler came up to me, and asked me in 
good English, in a confidential voice : " What is the 
rank of that Chinese gentleman who came in the same 
carriage ? " No one had ever seen or even heard of a 
Chinese " boy " before, and as Chang-firh always " took 
charge," his presence in the servants* hall was embarrass- 
ing ; nay, it was uncertain whether he was to sit at table. 
He had no idea that anything was unusual himself, 
but waited at table quite nonchalantly. The ladies 
cast cautious but respectful eyes at the monster, and 
were lost in admiration of his hands, which (like most 
Chinamen's) were small and clean. 

When we got home and he brought the morning tea, 
he said : " Your Honour enjoyed great dignity last 
night I saw all the foreign gentlemen and ladies 
admiring me." 

CHINESE GAMBLERS 

As I was pacing the streets of Boston or New York 
(at this moment I forget which), my eye caught 
some Chinese characters which reminded me of the 
purlieus of San Francisco, Melbourne, Ballarat, and 



6o THE INNOCENTS ABROAD 

other places where "the Chinezes drive." I tumbled 
up a narrow staircase constructed quite in the Hong> 
kong bagnio style, and on the third floor saw a 
door open, with half a dozen Chinamen inside, 
gazing in rapt attention upon a gaming-board — 
fan-i'an, rou^-et-noir, or some such game. From 
the shape of their nether garments I perceived they 
were Cantonese. Though I walked up close enoi^h 
to peer over their shoulders, they were so absorbed 
that not even those facing me perceived a foreign 
face. I said in Cantonese : " What a lot of men I " 
Two or three then looked up ; but, seeing no flurry 
in my eye, which I kept fixed on the counters, 
they too observed that sphinx-like attitude which 
comes so naturally to all Chinese rogues. From 
their glances I could see that through the comers of 
their eyes they were silently asking each other ; 
"Shall we bolt, or go for him, or what?" 

I then said: "Are you from Namhoi or P'unyii?" 
(the two divisions of Canton). 

Some one said : " Hongshan," (Macao region). 

They seemed now to feel more at their ease, and 
one asked : " How did you get here ? " 

I said : " I dropped from Heaven." I then went 
on to explain that, although in appearance I was a 
flowery-flag (American) man, I was really the re- 
embodiment of one of themselves, and that I had no 
fear whatever ; moreover, that they themselves need 
not be alarmed 



LETS 'EAVE 'ARF A BRICK AT 'IM 6i 

One then enquired : " What are those four characters 
on the wall?" 

I replied : " THn-kun kong-fuk^' (" May the heavenly 
ruler send down happiness"). 

"And those?" 

And so it went on. 

Then I said: "Well, I must go now. No one 
must follow me. You see I have proved my 
heavenly origin." 

They all bowed : and said " M-koi^' ( = " ^^^^^ sehrl' 
as the Germans say). 

This is not the only time I have successfully posed 
as, or been taken for, a quasi-supernatural being. 
Though Chinamen are rarely, if ever, fools, their 
total ignorance of science, coupled with their ex- 
aggerated and confused notions of western discoveries, 
renders it easy temporarily to impose upon their 
credulity ; indeed, the " Boxer ". superstitions of 1900 — 
for example those of immunity from rifle-fire — prove 
this on a wholesale scale. As a rule, every missionary 
who speaks a local dialect at all clearly is known 
by reputation to one, at least, of any Chinese group 
from that region: probably after I left they would 
recover their wits, and think I was a police-s^ent, 
and perhaps an ex-missionary who had been in Canton. 
But the whole business must have been uncanny to 
them, and I myself was not sorry to get safe down 
the stairs. 



CHAPTER IV 

KINGSy POPES, PREMIERS. AND 
PHILOSOPHERS 

THE TSUNGLI YAMtN 

POSSIBLY things are changed since I was there, 
and in any case my intercourse with the old boys 
of the Yamin was limited. I only saw Prince Kung 
once, and that was on October 31, 1869, when he came 
to say good-bye to Sir Rutherford Alcock. Ch'unglun 
was a curious man with a huge, goitrous wen, and 
naughty, twinkling eyes ; he specially shone at the race- 
course, or in telling a risqu^ story. Tung Siin was a 
renowned poet, whose sacred fire was easily kindled by 
Sir Thomas Wade : I believe he inflicted upon the 
Peking world a translation of Ckilde Harold. Great 
men are usually known by a MOt. Tung Siin's mot was 
" Pi-fang yi-t' iao-yii-a I " (" for instance, one piecey 
fish ") ; the wit comes In through the simtle of one fish 
(England, of course) leading the way, and then others 
(minor Powers) following in a line: also in the word 
pi-fang, " for instance," — a favourite refuge of foreign 




4- t 



DO AS THE ROMANS DO 63 

interpreters when hard pressed for a word : hence Sir 
Rutherford's caustic expression : " pi-fanglng their way 
through an interview." Ch'finglin seemed to have had 
the end of his nose snipped off and replaced by a piece 
of dull red Turkish pipe-clay. The others were Sh6n 
Kwei-f&n and Paoyiin, neither of whom left very definite 
impressions upon my inexperienced and callow mind. 

All Chinamen and Manchus of rank seem to have a 
" monstrosity " of some sort : either a fearful goitre ; or 
one side of the face totally different from the other ; or 
a strange squint ; or four or five teeth run together in 
one piece like a bone ; or a big dinge in the forehead ; 
or a beard consisting of six long, stout bristles ; or a 
set of eagle's claws instead of nails. In those days nearly 
every one was deeply pock-marked. All men's morals 
are plus quatn Turkish, for it is the Peking custom to 
have them so, and one feels a ghoulish sort of sensation 
in their presence. Ch'unglun did me the honour to 
wet his finger and rub my cheek to see if I was 
painted ; Li Hung-chang patted me, and put his 
arm round my neck. It will be remembered that the 
Emperor Kienlung, who was a notorious old rip^ 
similarly patted the head of Lord Macartney's page, 
Sir Greorge Staunton. Their **room" is decidedly 
better than their company when temptation offers, 
for they are not very strong in virtue, any of 
them. Perhaps it is " only their way " ; and, after 
all, they are much more astonished when they see 
a couple of fat Germans kissing each other (not to 



64 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

mention effusive Frenchmen and Russians) than we are 
(or I was) to be stroked by a Manchu or a Chinaman. 

It was great fun talking to them : they seem to 
loathe business, and to be convulsed with merriment 
at the thought of the British lion roaring with rage, 
just because a missionary had had his eye squelched 
whilst holding forth from a barrel in the streets. 
I remember once " soaring to eloquence " myself in 
describing in horror-stricken language and earnest tones 
how the " skih-lao-ju-yii " (" the stones fell like rain ") 
about some preachers' heads. " Splendid t " said 
Ch'unglun. " Not bad at all t You've got it well off 
by heart ! Ha ! ha 1 ' The stones fell like rain ! ' " 
This was too much for me ; I joined merrily in the in- 
fectious mirth, and the rest of the interview was noisy, 
hilarious, and anything but business-like. The fact is 
the Yamin does not want any missionary to be basted, 
nor any merchant defrauded : the view of life (and 
government) it takes is quite easy and good-natured : 
" Oh I don't bother ; let things right themselves : we'll 
pay the damage some time. What did he want 
preaching there?" or "What did he sell things to a 
man like that for?" However, the inevitable crash 
has come at last ; and the easy old days are gone 
for ever. 

WfeNSIANG 
Sir Thomas Wade used to call him "the last of 
the Manchus," — meaning that there were no others left 



RECORD OF A GOOD MAN 65 

of the grand, non-opium-smoking, self-respecting race 
who for over two centuries had ruled the Empire 
with firmness and credit. Wfinsiang is chiefly re- 
markable, so far as we barbarians are concerned, 
for the oft-quoted saying : " You argue that we do 
not move quickly enough. Beware! A time may 
come, after China is once started on the path of 
prepress, when the great machine will roll inexorably 
on and crush," etc., etc. Sir Robert Hart is the 
most recent amongst distinguished men to reproduce 
this steam-roller-like mot for public consumption. 

The earliest mention I can find of this fine old 
Manchu statesman is in 1855, when he was a 
Brigadier-General in Sz Ch'wan, serving against the 
Kwei Chou revolters. In 1858 he was ordered to 
recover Momein, on the Burmese frontier, from the 
Panthay Mussulman rebels ; and shortly afterwards 
we find him rewarded at Peking with the honour of 
"being allowed to ride a horse within the imperial 
precincts." He is next heard of in 1859, when he 
figures as Master of the Mint and an Under-Secretary 
of the Board ; later Privy Councillor ; and so on. In 
i860 Prince Kung, Wfinsiang, and Kweisiang are 
all commended by the Emperor for their services in 
settling the various treaties after the Anglo-French war. 
Amongst other things it is recorded that "Thomas 
Wade describes Pulusi [Prussia] to be a state of con- 
siderable size too, and one which for this reason 
cannot be excluded from treaty benefits." 

5 



66 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

It was as good as a play to see Sir Thomas Wade 
and Wfinsiang at a tite-d'tite. Each entertained 
perfect respect for the other's good faith and ability, 
but W^nsiang often had to remonstrate with his 
adversary for not keeping his temper : the missionary 
memorandum was then on the tapis. On these occasions 
Mr. McLeavy Brown, who was a perfect master both 
of elegant Chinese and of calm diplomatic manner, 
used to take the Chinese statesman aside for a 
moment and explain : ^^ Fei ch'iye ; chi ye^ (" It is not 
wrath ; it is zeal "). The difference in " aspirate " and 
" tone " between c/i'i and chi Requires the possession 
of all one's linguistic faculties to bring clearly out ; 
and Mr. Brown did it so nicely that W^nsiang was 
mollified. 

My own relations with Wfinsiang were phenomenally 
short, and were ruthlessly extinguished even at that 
Sir Thomas Wade had lent me a novel called The 
Fortunate Unions in which one visitor says to the 
other : " I dare not bear the weight of your jewelled 
toes." The other replies : " Long have I heard your 
great name, like unto thunder crashing into the ear." 
This struck me as being rather a sonorous phrase, and 
I decidedly " fancied " the style. I therefore got it 
off quite pat for use, tones and all. Just at that 
moment a message came out to the Secretariat : " Send 
Parker in with that draft, if ready." In I went. As I 
entered. Sir Thomas Wade, sitting at the writing-desk, 
scowled at me over his spectacles ; but old Wfensiang, 



A DIPLOMATIC EXTINGUISHER 67 

with inborn politeness, rose from his chair and looked 
enquiringly at Sir Thomas, as though to ask : " Who 
is this nice young man ? " Sir Thomas, with a growl 
at me, waved his hand impatiently and muttered a 
word of introduction. Wfinsiang then said modestly 
to me: '' Pu-kan tang;' ("I cannot bear it"). Out 
then I came with my sentence, in a clear, deter- 
mined voice : " Long have I heard your great name, 
like unto thunder crashing into the ear." 

" Ah ! " said Wfinsiang, " tiens I " (to use the French 
expression). 

" God help us ! " roared Sir Thomas ; " one would 
think he had the cares of the Foreign Office on 
his back ! " (a favourite expression of his, subsequently 
used several times to me). " Here, that will do ! " So 
out I slunk. 



THE TAOIST *'POPE" 

More ancient than Confucianism is the teaching of 
Tao^ which syllable means " Way," in all our significa- 
tions of the word ; but the main idea which runs 
through the whole set is "the right Way," or, simply, 
Truth, Volumes have been written upon the treatise 
supposed to have been bequeathed to the world by 
Lao-tsz, the accredited apostle of this teaching, who 
also gave lessons to Confucius. The Chinese, like 
ourselves, are more prolific in literature which deals 
with matters of imagination and "belief," than with 



68 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

that which treats of plain questions of fact, provable 
by logical evidence, and " uaderstanded of the people." 
I take it that Marcus Aurelius was the European 
thinker of antiquity whose " form " nearest approached 
that of Lao-tsz. The great thing is to " go on quietly 
with your existing routine, whoever you are: don't 
ever make a fuss ; don't get excited or angry about 
whatever disturbing factor turns up ; but pour oil on 
the troubled waters, and try to maintain the status 
quo : you have organs and feelings ; never mind asking 
why ; use them as nature prompts ; but don't be selfish, 
unfair, or a beast." 

However all this may be, a certain Chang Tao- 
ling, born about the time Jesus Christ died, was a 
later prophet of Tao\sm, and he is supposed to have 
" ascended into Heaven " upon or from a mountain 
called Lung-hu Shan in Kiangsi (a place of which I was 
almost in sight on my inland journey from Foochow 
to W^nchow in February, 1SS4). His descendants have 
been alternately honoured and ignored by successive 
dynasties, and their souls are supposed to pass from 
one generation to the other by a sort of metem- 
psychosis, like the souls of the Lamas of Tibet The 
Manchu dynasty has consistently ignored them at court, 
and in 1742 even deprived them of court rank ; but 
in 1747 Kienlung accorded them buttons (local) of the 
fifth grade, in consideration of their ecclesiastical 
status. 

Well, in 1 880 the hereditary " Pope " Chang J€n-chfing 



17 vurTt9 cov 69 

visited Canton in state, and I went to see him in 
his travelling barge. The Chinese officials ignored 
him utterly, regarding him much as we r^ard a 
gipsy or a Dulcamara. He was dressed very much 
like any other official Chinaman, but he had a quiet, 
passionless, and unworldly look about him, and was 
very well bred. He appeared to be a man of forty, 
and he said he was the sixty-first in descent. His 
usual designation is Chang T*ien-shY, (Celestial Teacher 
Chang) ; but his own official title is that given him in 
I739> Ching-yih Ta-chSn-jin {verus unuSy magnus purus 
vir). He spoke to me very kindly, and said he knew 
the Rev. Joseph Edkins, then a Protestant missionary ; 
— still living, and a distinguished sinologue. At my 
request he wrote me a "charm," which I had framed. 
I took it with me to Chungking, and, at Chang-6rh's 
suggestion, hung it up in my private " court " to ward 
oflF danger. We forgot all about it ; but, when I 
was not killed during the riot, the Chinese said : 
" Ah ! how clever ! It was the Tavist charm that 
saved him ! '' (Q.E.D.) 



THE PHILOSOPHER CINCIUS 

This vocable stands for Tseng-tsz (disciple of K'ung 
Fu-tsz, or Confucius), just as Mencius stands for Meng- 
tsz (Menfucius would do as well). As my name in 
Chinese mouths had a tendency to relapse into Bakka, 
I adopted in 1871 the philosopher "Sancius'" family 



70 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

name of Chwang : for " unpronounceable " reasons the 
Russian consul Skatchkoff had styled himself Con- 
fucius ; whilst the British consul Mongan had, on 
obvious homophonous grounds, called himself M£ng. So 
there were the three " sages " at Tientsin, all complete. 

A Foochow teacher 1 once had traced his descent 
man by man for eighteen hundred years back to a well- 
known statesman of antiquity. This curious circum- 
stance induced me to question all the " boys," teachers, 
barbers, women, and even children thrown in my way 
for an hour at any time, and I discovered that the 
commonest Chinaman could usually go back by 
memory for from two to five hundred years ; or 
even more by referring to his " genealogy " book at 
home : in fact, I published in the Sfianghai Evening 
Courier twenty years ago about a dozen genuine 
" lives " of such humble folk. On another occasion, 
at Pagoda Anchorage, I "bet" Dr. SomerviUe at a 
dinner that his rowdiest stable coolie, if ordered in 
there and then, and questioned by me in his own 
dialect, would give us off-hand the names of all the 
Manchu reigns, and of all the dynasties back to Kublai 
Khan ; and the man did it at once. 

These introductory observations Ifcad up to and partly 
explain an interesting event which happened to me 
in the wilds of Hu Peh ; — this was at the small city 
of Kienshr, two days' journey south of the Yangtsze 
River. My civilian mandarin was surnamed Ts£ng, and 
he happened to be undergoing tonsorial operations in 



THEIR BLOOD IS ALL BLUE 71 

the inn yard, when an old druggist strolled in to ask 
about, and if possible see, the barbarian. I overheard 
their conversation. As soon as the old man (in accord- 
ance with custom) gave his name, my mandarin said : 
" Ah ! then we are relatives. What is your branch- 
stream ? I belong to the ts'iian lot." 

" I am a kir 

When I heard this, I went out to join in the causerie^ 
and said : " Then the Marquess Ts^ng, the new envoy 
to Great Britain, must be your cousin, and Governor 
Ts6ng Kwoh-ts'Uan of Shan Si must be your uncle." 

" I don't know what post Ki-tsih [the Marquess] 
holds now, but I know he is Kwoh-fatCs son, and the 
Governor's nephew ; moreover, there are two others of 
the ki lot holding office in the Yiin Nan and Canton 
provinces [which was true]. But our branch migrated a 
great many centuries ago, and we only keep genealogical 
registers back as far as the dynasty of X. [I forget 
how many hundred years]. The original registers are 
preserved in the old house at Confucius' town in Shan 
Tung, and we send them copies of our local registers 
at intervals. There are several hundred thousand of 
us in China, mostly in this province, Kiang Si, and 
(of course) Shan Tung. In 1330 the Mongol Emperor 
Tub-Temur gave our original ancestor the title of 
* Ancestral Sage, Duke of Ch'^ng ' [on the River Wen 
in Shan Tung] ; but emigrations had taken place long 
before then. Our first ancestor \i.e, of the branch] has 
his cemetery at Y ." 



n KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

The only man I ever discovered who could not go 
back more than three generations was my own " boy," 
who was a devil-may-care sort of fellow, and did not 
care twopence about his ancestors ; in fact, he would 
have left his own mother to starve, had I not for 
twenty years confiscated part of his wages for her. 
Towards the end of his days, however, he grew quite 
filial, and sent her amongst other presents a coffin, 
" ready for the event" He himself happened to die 
first, after I had left for good, in other service, and the 
mother wrote to England to ask me " how about my 
money ? " I sent her a few dollars to " burn paper- 
money for the wandering soul " ; — in other words, for 
herself. I received thanks for the money, with a 
" verbal post-scriptum " sent through the Legation : " Is 
there no money for me, too?" 

CHINESE ROYALTY 

" Bon voyage, Parrkerre ! Vous alkz voyager avec un 
rot ! " These were the last words of my cheery 
French host as we reached the tiny wharf at Hanoi, 
to which he kindly came to see me off. A group 
of French generals, colonels, and foncHonnains were 
buzzing round his Majesty at that very moment, full 
of empressetnent and respect (they had been officially 
" dining " him the night before) : they took their most 
affectionate leave, (even utnarmin% him, but discreetly 
avoiding the kiss,) and the royal procession at once 



"UNEASY LIES THE HEAD" 73 

moved on board. As soon as the steamer had well 
started, I naturally made enquiry as to who the 
distinguished monarch was, and I was informed that 
he was un rot Muong trks guerrievy who had been 
prevailed on by French diplomacy at last to throw 
in his lot with la France, It so happened that, three 
years before this, I had, whilst on leave of absence, 
made a private tour of my own to Tonquin, Siam, 
and Burma, and had made independent enquiry as 
to the conflicting claims of Annam, Bangkok, and 
Mandalay to the allegiance of the Shan states, some 
of whose chiefs I had interviewed ; and consequently 
I knew all about the attack of Tieu Van-tri of Muong- 
lai upon Luang Prabang in June, 1887; the flight 
of his Majesty of Luang Prabang to Bangkok ; and 
the temporary occupation of Muonglai by the French 
in January, 1888; in fact, M. Tirant, the French 
Resident-General at Hanoi, had just received the 
latest news from Muonglai, and was examining the 
maps (which he showed me), when I visited his office, 
on March 17, 1888: it was then uncertain whether 
Muonglai would "stand it." (I may explain that the 
" Muongs *' are simply the Shans, Muong meaning in 
their tongue " country." The Siamese call themselves 
Muong T*aiy " Land of the Free," and the Burmese 
call the Siamese Sciam-pi^ or Siam-land ; but when 
I was first in these parts no one had a very clear 
idea of who was who.) 

When I came to "walk round" the king, by the 



74 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS. 

identificatio quasi canina of narrowly observing the seat 
of his trousers, I came to the conclusion that he must 
be a Cantonese, the foot-gear and limb-gear being for 
males what the head-gear is for females — a quite certain 
mark of origin. The French diplomatic agent with 
him and the others of his entour^e all spoke either 
Shan ' or Annamese ; his Majesty also understood a 
few words of French. He was very independent 
and reserved in his manner ; would not sit at table 
with Europeans ; would not " drink " ; and, alt<^ether, 
made his obsequious suzerains feel as the Amir of 
Afghanistan likes to make the Viceroy of India feel ; 
— i.e. " creepy." He was by no means a captive, but 
an independent sovereign, on the point of accepting 
over-rule. Watching my opportunity, I walked up 
to the king and addressed him, quite as an equal, in 
Cantonese ; he was delighted, and replied fluently. 
He could not only speak, but write well, and it turned 
out that his ancestors came from a place near Pakhoi, 
where the family graves were still kept up, and to 
which place he sent messengers to sacrifice every 
year. The Frenchmen airing themselves on deck were 
naturally intrigues at seeing this "animated conversa- 
tion" going on in a tongue totally unknown to them 
all, and the more so when they observed the activity 
of my note-book, down into which facts were going 
with startling rapidity. The situation was amusing : 
here was the " enemy," flop down in the very hot-bed 
of diplomacy, enjoying all the exclusive secrets for 



" SUCH A DIVINITY DOTH HEDGE A KING " 75 

himself! However, there was no way out of it : I 
turned the king completely inside out before I dropped 
him ; but I may inform my French friends that I did 
nothing naughty ; in fact, when he told me that, after 
meeting the British officials in Chiengmai, etc., he 
had decided to "plump" for France, and send his 
sons to Paris for education, I made no attempt what- 
ever to represent to him the superior virtues of Short 
(China) or Codlin (Siam) ; and said no word to which 
my French hosts could, had they understood it, have 
in the least objected. 

His real family name was Lo ; but, like most of 
the Shan chieftains in the Laos or "Old Shan" 
region, he used the Chinese family name of TiaOy which 
doubtless stands for the Siamese Tjao (= prince). 
He gave me his card, inscribed Tiao Win-cht^ which, 
in the Cantonese, becomes Tin Min-chi^ and in 
Annamese Tiiu Vdn-tru This last the French call 
him, believing him to be a Shan. Like all Chinese 
" kings " abroad, he prefers " short coat and trousers " 
(=our tweed suit) for the ordinary purposes of life, 
to the cumbersome boots, yellow jacket, and peacock's 
feather form of frippery. 



THE EMPEROR OF ANNAM 

There was a good deal of telegraphing between the 
Resident at Tourane, the Resident-General at Hu6, 
the Governor-General at Hanoi, and (possibly) the 



76 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

President of the French Republic, before I was allowed 
to go up to Hu^. However, common sense prevailed, 
and I may state to my hospitable French hosts that 
1 had no mission whatever ; and that neither the British 
Government nor the British Minister had the faintest 
■idea I was there.— We of the ruck — i£. those not acting 
officially — assembled in evening dress at 9 a.m. at a 
certain palace outhouse, where we deferentially awaited 
the arrival of the Resident's coach. Then we marched 
through a double line of caparisoned elephants and 
horses ; banners, trumpets, fanfaronades, etc, up to the 
royal hall of audience, which was quite as dignified 
as anything of the same kind in China. The little 
king (locally " emperor ") was seated, li la Turque, on 
a fine, handsome throne, and there were around him 
the usual bearers of fans, Rappers, and fasces ; the 
eunuchs, and others courtiers and paraphernalia of, 
the Far East ; apparently all based in the distant past 
upon Hindoo ceremony. The Resident-Superior read 
an address in French, uttering the usual diplomatic 
verbiage about " rights," " liberty," and other imaginary 
advant^es which are never at all appreciated by 
"protected" powers. Then the king read from the 
back of a yahu, or " tablet," (which Chinese emperors 
of old used to hold before them with two hands,) a 
reply in pure Chinese, but pronounced in Annamite 
fashion. It must not be supposed that there is any 
(known) connection between Annamese and Chinese ; 
but with all people who dabble in Chinese civilisation 




ST 



«DEUS VOS NOBIS SERVET" 11 

it is considered good form to use pure Chinese in 
courtly matters: thus, during the "Boxer" troubles, 
the Emperor of Japan replied to the Emperor of China 
in perfectly good Chinese taste ; his language was 
faultless from a " high-falutin' " point of view. 

But the most interesting part of the show was the 
native ceremony, after the European introductions were 
over : it was one of the most dignified and impressive 
spectacles it is possible to conceive, with nothing what- 
ever tawdry or serio-comic about it. Far away in 
front of the throne-hall extended the vista of elephants 
and troops ; then, out in the sun, in front of the throne- 
hall and above the elephants, were about twenty or 
thirty double rows of civil and military officials, all 
dressed in very quaint but very magnificent court 
robes, hats, and boots. Not even the highest dignitaries 
advanced at any time more than a few steps into the 
throne-room, which was a pavilion quite as large as the 
great hall of Westminster, and had its roof supported 
by magnificent teak timber, painted a deep rich red, 
or "purple." The emperor, eunuchs, and Europeans 
were the only ones admitted into the centre of the 
pavilion. The marble-paved court in front was thus 
filled with mandarins, the military on one, the civil 
on the other side of the narrow alley running up the 
centre. At a signal a singular and by no means un- 
melodious hymn was struck up ; the whole body of 
officials knelt and rose three times in slow succession, 
kotowin'g thrice for each time they knelt, all in 



78 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

perfect harmony with the music ; and pausing to sing 
at each move. This occupied about twenty minutes, 
after which there were certain other ceremonies, all 
based upon the Chinese etiquette. 

The thing which struck me most during this extra- 
ordinarily interesting function was its striking similarity 
to the ceremonies of the Byzantine court, as related 
in Western history, and as depicted in paintings. I 
do not for this reason rush to any conclusions ; but I 
think it highly probable that " ideas " must have passed 
freely to and fro between Rome, Constantinople, Persia, 
Parthia, India, and China at all times subsequent to 
the mutual discovery, by East and West, of West and 
East, respectively, about two thousand years ago ; and 
that the means through which they filtered in both 
directions must have been chiefly the horse-riding 
Turks. 

CHINAMEN AS PRINCES 

Towards the end of 1892 I visited the Siamese Com- 
missionership of Junk Ceylon — capital town, Tongkah. 
This high official has under him several Chinese rajahs, 
notably those of Kra and Renoung, both of whom I 
met at the latter place, where I was sumptuously enter- 
tained by the "royal family." 

The existence to-day of the Chinese adventurer 
"dynasties" in the south seas helps us very con- 
siderably to understand how in ancient times the 
feudal states existed under the, hegemony or nominal 



*'THE RANK IS BUT THE GUINEA STAMP" 79 

rule of the kings (in ancient China the Monarch, or 
King, had not the same Imperial title as to-day), and 
how enterprising Chinamen established petty dynasties 
in the Corean, Annamese, and Tibetan regions. The 
palace and tombs at Renoung were modelled on the 
same scale in theory (though of course less spacious 
in practice) as those of Peking and Annam. The 
divisstmus^ or "founder" of the dynasty, was a pros- 
perous "Zaitun" trader from Changchou Fu, near 
Amoy, whom the King of Siam, Phra Chom Klao, 
made, first, " Lord," and then Governor-General of 
Renoung. The four sons of the first rajah are now 
independent of each other, and also rule Kra, Trang, 
and Langshun provinces, in consideration of paying 
tribute and homage to the King of Siam. Not one of 
them smokes opium ; and they form together a vast 
commercial union, something in principle like that of 
the Rothschilds, but, naturally, with infinitely smaller 
scope. In accordance with Chinese views of happi- 
ness, they breed like rabbits ; for to have " his quiver 
full of them " is the beau idt^al of a righteous and 
much-married man. 

But the most striking thing of all is the mild- 
ness, firmness, impartiality, and justice of their 
rule. With the exception of a handful of Burmese 
and Madrassis, their subjects are entirely Chinese, 
Siamese, and Malays ; yet they exact no " crawling " 
rights or kotow forms, and, except on sacrificial occa- 
sions, wear the short jacket, loose pantaloons, billycock, 



8o KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

and foreign boots of the Penang Chinese under 
British rule ; the whole corresponding to what we 
should call "cow-boy" or "shirt-sleeves" attire, as, 
worn, for instance, in Fiji government circles, where the 
not inel^ant shirt (no braces) was quite the thing 
with Governor Thurston. In fact, though nominally 
Siamese, these rajahs belong to the Penang or English 
"sphere of influence," which is perfectly honest, and 
quite innocuous to the political rights of Siam. 

When the Chinese rajahs do homage at the Siamese 
court, they have to conceal the pigtail (to which 
Manchu badge all Chinese fondly cling, now out of 
mere habit), and wear Siamese uniform. The Chinese 
ofRcial dress is put on when ancestral sacrifices arc 
performed. No lodges or " secret " societies are 
tolerated; for the laxity of the British government 
had allowed the rival lodges of Singapore to squabble 
and wax dangerous, and even to extend the scope 
of their operations beyond the legitimate sphere 
recognised by the best Chinese members ; which evil 
example had showed signs of spreading to Burma 
and other places. 

A smartly manned gig, a brisk dog-cart, and a com- 
fortable bungalow were placed at my disposal ; I was 
shown all the industries and the sights ; and 1 left 
the place more impressed than ever with the admirable 
business capacities, the sterling honesty, and the manly 
dignity of the Chinese emigrant class, when given a 
free hand to work out its own salvation. Neither 



A LOST KINGDOM 8i 

the French, nor the Dutch, nor the Spaniards, nor the 
Americans sufficiently understand the art of letting China- 
men alone, an inactivity in which we ourselves excel. 



VAE VICTIS 

The story of the Panthay massacres is one of the 
saddest in Chinese history, and, knowing all the 
particulars of it, I went to see the late Sultan's son. 
Prince Hassan, directly I heard he was living in 
Rangoon, where, as at Bhamo, his father the Sultan 
had once had several trading-houses. He occupied an 
ordinary villa, not very well kept up, in the outskirts 
of the town, and drew a pension from the British, or 
rather, perhaps, from the Indian Government, for which 
favour he was apparently very grateful. He was a 
stout, grave, and not unusually intellectual Chinaman, of 
what may be called the Turkish or Persian type ; that 
is, he bore no traces of the distinctive Mongol, Manchu, 
Tibetan, or Indo-Chinese features which sometimes 
peep out in the northern, western, or southern China- 
man: (there is no such thing known in China as a 
Japanese type). 

I am not sure whether I remember this point 
correctly, but I think he told me that he himself had 
been one of the two envoys sent by his father to 
London in 1872, with the object of inducing Great 
Britain to accept suzerainty over the expiring Mussul- 
man kingdom. This was at a time when the victorious 

6 



82 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS. PHILOSOPHERS 

General Ts'fin YUh-ying and his lieutenant Yang 
YUh-k'o (nicknamed "the monkey") were gradually 
closing in upon the Panthay capital of Tali Fu. 
Francis Gamier, whom I met at Hankow in April, 
1873, told me he had managed at great personal risk 
to get into Tali Fu in the Sultan's time ; this was on 
the occasion of his splendid journey with the Lagr^ 
mission through the Shan states in 1868 ; but on 
the English side Major Sladen was not allowed to 
advance from Burma beyond Momein (now a consular 
station on the Yun Nan frontier). At that time 
Suliman (for that was what the " Sultan " Tu Wfin-siu 
called himselQ was in the heyday of his power ; still, 
the eastern parts of YUn Nan were adversely held in 
the Chinese Emperor's name by the " Lao Papa," or 
" Old Pope" ; — that is, by Ma T€h-hing, a Mahommedan 
Jiadji of high character who had abandoned the Sultan, 
and had accepted the post of Imperial Viceroy at 
Yunnan Fu in order to save further civil war and 
useless bloodshed. 

Ma T^-hing, under the name of Ma Fu-ch'u, had, in 
1842, made the pilgrimage to Mecca by way of Burma, 
and in February, 1893, I met at Bhamo another Chinese 
Mussulman from Ho Nan province taking the same 
route. The city of Tali Fu had no sooner fallen, 
than the treacherous Chinese Brigadier-General Ma 
Chung, of Yijnnan Fu, massacred the Mussulman 
Viceroy too, who, though he had long held the city as 
a renegade in the imperialists' favour, was now of no 



GREATER LOVE HATH NO MAN 83 

further use to them, and was even much to be dreaded 
in his capacity of local Pope for Islam. 

The death of Prince Hassan's father SuHman is thus 
described : The Chinese commander promised to spare 
the city if he surrendered. As his people were weary 
of war, and he was therefore not unwilling to be 
sacrificed on their behalf, he first sent in his official 
seal as token of submission ; then he robed himself in 
his best, destroyed his valuables, and forced his wives 
and children to commit suicide. Finally, he got into 
his sedan-chair, and was carried through the crowds of 
his weeping people to Yang Yiih-k'o's camp. His 
manner was so bewildered when he got there that he 
could do little more than gasp out an entreaty that his 
people might be spared. It was soon evident that he 
had, fftore sinense^ taken a slow poison, in order to avoid 
a shameful public death ; and he was successful, in so 
far, at least, that he died before they could hurry him 
away in his chair to Ts'en Yiih-ying's headquarters. 
The next day the corpse was decapitated, and the head 
embalmed, for transport in triumph to Peking. Prince 
Hassan was not inclined to be communicative upon 
these tragic matters, but he was very much interested 
in all questions concerning local Mussulmans, and 
very pleased indeed when I caused to be sent to 
him a copper seal and some Mussulman archives 
brought from the Kachyn state of Muongpo, near 
Sefan, which had taken part in the war on the Panthay 
side. He is visiting Mecca this summer (1901). 



84 KINGS, POPES. PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

THE WILD KACHYNS 

The Japanese have a saying : " Ftats-ki demo, djtbun 
no uchi" — literally, "Pair-spread though-be, self his 
house," or " Cock on one's own dung-hill." I believe 
the proper way is to write " Futatsuskiki" (" a couple of 
mats "), or " San-skiki" (" three ") ; but it was said to me 
exactly as above, in reference to an old Nagasaki " pub," 
which the paternal British Government had bought for 
me, and had put up at Chemulpho as a vice-consulate. 
The saying forcibly recurred to me when the King 
of Pontu, sitting on the soft side of a muddy and 
jagged stone, clothed as to his nether regions with 
a short pair of ra^ed cotton drawers, and as to his 
" upper circle " with a short jacket of the same 
unwashed material, was deferentially served with his 
dinner. The banquet in question consisted of about 
half a pound of coarse red rice, " dished " up in a fresh 
banana leaf ; and about a quarter of a pound of what 
we call " kewins " in Liverpool — i.e. periwinkles. They 
were ready picked out for him, and handed up in a 
second banana leaf As with many people in the Far 
East, the king scrupulously used the right hand only 
for fingering his food. After the repast was over, he 
blew his nose with the left-hand fingers, and royally 
wiped them on the attendant's trousers. 

His Majesty, like most of his kind, dwelt with his 
population on one hill, which was his kingdom. I 
was again reminded of a story, told by the Chinese 



PRAESENS DI VUS HABEBITUR AUGUSTUS 85 

philosopher Chwang-tsz, about the fearful war which 
once raged between the bacilli^ or microbes, which lived 
on the right feeler of a dying snail, and their rivals 
living on the left. The snail's death brought history 
to an end. But this man of Pontu was a real monarch, 
and the much-superior-looking man who served him 
was of noble birth. Before a Kachyn engages in 
conversation with a stranger, it is said he always asks : 
"Are you a noble or a commoner?" This particular 
monarch was a political prisoner of Great Britain — a 
sort of unmounted De Wet. There had been a good 
deal of fighting, and one or two valuable British 
officers had lost their lives. A " column " was sent to 
Pontu on the Chinese frontier to demand submission 
and tribute; the tribute in this case consisted of a 
few hundredweight of straw required by our garrison 
for thatching the roofs of the fort at Sima. The 
houses of the Kachyns are as roomy, and in every way 
excellent, as the Kachyns themselves are insignificant. 
I and half a dozen officers slept luxuriously in one 
compartment of the **male" end of the king's house, 
the females taking advantage of our candles to peep 
at us from the obscurity of his harem. 

The king had to come in person, and as he spoke 
Chinese fairly well, and none of the Sikhs, Goorkhas, 
or British officers spoke a word of it, he attached him- 
self by preference to me, and walked back a portion 
of the second day's journey by my side. But the 
curious part of the whole business was the deference 



86 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

with which this ragged chief was treated by his 
own man. 

A recent picture in one of the illustrated papers 
shows Li Hung-chang looking into a kinetoscope, sur- 
rounded by his " boys " and coolies. This is exactly the 
attitude in which I once saw the Emperor's late father, 
surrounded by a lot of street boys — and by myself. 
Once I saw the Viceroy Liu K'un-yih take the pipe 
which a slave had just pufTed into a blaze for him, 
rub his thumb carelessly over the mouthpiece, and then 
smoke the wet pipe himself. The fact is, despite the 
power possessed by, and the immense respect shown 
to the ruling classes in China, there is an easy feeling 
of human equality all round. They are no snobs. 
Even the old Empress-Dowager, in her flight from 
Peking, found time to " chaff" a kneeling magistrate on 
the road, who had brought her a good hot dinner, on 
the excellence of his cook. She also asked him for 
some clothes. 

He said : " In this poor district there are no 
luxuries, and all I have is the coarse outfit of a 
poor concubine I have brought to live with me." 

The Empress said : " Oh ! don't make a fuss ; we 
are cold, and don't mind about forms and ceremonies. 
Cki yao nwan-/to, chiu shi-lo!" ("All I want is to 
be warm I ") 

This Chinese Raleigh, to his disgust, was made a pre- 
fect, and forced to " Come along." The whole story of the 
flight is most amusing, and some day I may tell more of it 



UNEXPECTED HONOURS 87 



HIS HOLINESS THE POPE 

Pope Leo the Thirteenth would hardly look to Hoihow 
for pronouncements upon the Vatican ; but I may 
mention that, in the archives of that swinish metropolis, 
his Holiness figures as sht^ which character by a very 
curious coincidence means both "a lion" and *'a supreme 
teacher" ; in fact, it means " a Pope,": for it was applied 
by Kublai to Paghsba and his successors, and is still 
applied to the Taoist Pope. The whole papal theory 
is left on record in Chinese at Hoihow in connection 
with the official preservation of the Jesuit tombs there, 
and the names of their Holinesses have been duly 
raised three pegs or two pegs, like the Chinese Emperors, 
or diviy according to whether dead or alive. 

However, that is not the immediate point. There 
was quite a plethora of distinguished French visitors 
about this time; one day the new French Minister 
suddenly appeared unannounced by my bedside ; a week 
later the Acting Governor-General of Indo-China most 
hospitably required my presence at dinner on board his 
steamer. But on the occasion here referred to a card 
was handed to me on behalf of " Monsignor Termoz, 
Domestic Chaplain to his Holiness the Pope." He was 
accompanied by another cleric named Rossel, and like 
all other persons in doubt or difficulty at Hoihow, 
inevitably found his way to the British Consulate 
for comfort and refreshment. We all took a walk to 
see Father Diegues (otherwise known as Father 



88 KINGS, POPES, PREMIERS, PHILOSOPHERS 

Di(^enes), and then went on to " the stricken field " 
to inspect the Jesuit tombs ; so that persons interested 
in those remains now know to whom they may go for a 
voucher ; and I may take this opportunity of saying that 
the much-abused thoi^h " heretical " English Govern- 
ment, at my request, paid ten pounds for the protection 
of the said tombs, which tombs the Roman Catholics as 
a body ought in future to care for themselves, as the 
Portuguese mission is too poor. (I hope that the 
Secretary of State, who is responsible for the grant, 
will not monopolise all the reward for this good act 
in the next world, but leave a wee crumb for me.) 

However, the bishop's visit is used here simply as a 
peg on which to hang the subject of presents, which 
are a great nuisance in China. My own plan (being, 
unlike Mr. Wemmick, a firm disbeliever in the value 
of portable property) was, when any European gave 
or sent mc a fancy present, to pass it on instantly to 
the nearest deserving Chinese; and when a mandarin 
sent me anything more ornamental than useful, to send 
it or give it to the first " foreign " person I saw or thought 
of. Only a week previously, a customs officer, who had 
been dismissed, asked me to assist him by purchasing 
at a valuation a silver epergne ; just then the iaotai was 
cashiered too, and the epergne came in very handy as 
a consolation present. As the episcopal party returned 
fatigued from their outing (the bishop, by the way, was 
" accommodated with a chair," and Pire Rossel, who 
pluckily tried to walk, soon collapsed, and had to be 



ETIAM DONA FERENTES 89 

chaired too), after we had all had a bath and (including 
the bishop) a glass of whiskey and soda, we assembled 
in that compartment of my barn variously known as the 
office, the sitting-, dining-, or drawing-room ; and what 
should we see there but a gigantic screen of the most 
gorgeous colouring, together with some other presents. 
I forget who sent me this, or what (if anything) I had 
done to deserve it. The rule in China is to accept part 
of a gift, and then " tip " according to its value ; or to 
reject the whole, and "tip" with great sagesse. You 
either write on the card : " X. respectfully detains screen 
one piecey ; remaining gems are excluded with thanks," 
or, simply: "X. excludes with thanks." On this occasion 
the whole of the gems were detained without exclusion, 
and at once made over to the bishop, who was 
delighted, and undertook the serious business of con- 
veying them to Rome, where I trust they adorn some 
worthy nook of the Vatican. (I paid the " tip.") 

In connection with presents, I may add that it is 
the custom at the New Year for consuls to send a few 
discreet or elegant trifles to the authorities and charge 
them to the public under the head of " New Year's com- 
plimentary gifts to the . . ." The scraggy poultry and 
other edible gems received in return I used to give to 
the constable and the "boys." On one occasion a 
waggish colleague of mine, carried away by a caco'cthes 
alliterationis^ simply stuck down "Turkey for taotaV \ 
much to the horror of the Foreign Office, which promptly 
(in the person of its Chief Clerk) called for explanations. 



92 " ROWS "—MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

had struck literary men, had used "arguments of 
force," and so on. The students gathered up frag- 
ments of broken furniture and assumed a " hold-me- 
back-lest-I-should-break-his-hcad" kind of posture. 

At that instant t was putting on my dressing- 
gown and smoking-cap (a fez), and Chang-€rh, quite 
calmly, waved his hand, saying ; " Come, come, the 
great man is putting his official uniform on ; you 
can't strike an official." I chimed in by calling out in a 
peremptory tone of voice for the landlord, and ordering 
him to fetch the Hjxui. (The tipao, or " local guarantor," 
is a curious Chinese institution, like a "whipping- 
boy." He is nominally Monsieur le Maire, but in 
reality he is often a hired ruffian or toper, who, for 
a consideration, acts as spokesman to the muni- 
cipality, and incurs all the penalties : it is as though 
the Lord Mayor should keep a gp-eengroccr at fifteen 
shillings a week to listen to the warnings of the Chief 
Justice.) When the tipao came, I gave him all sorts 
of orders, and demanded various forms of satisfaction, 
hinting that on my arrival at Wuchang I should 
speak to the Viceroy. Things gradually quieted down ; 
but I felt very uneasy in my bin during the night, 
for I overheard many a discussion as to my status, 
and as to the advisability of "going for me." 

THE CAGED WARRIOR 
Chinkiang is a disagreeable centre for soldier riots ; 
for, being at the parting of the ways for canal, river. 



A PIG IN A POKE 93 

or land routes, it has large Tartar and Chinese per- 
manent camps ; and besides, there are always remounts, 
reinforcements, and escorts passing through to other 
provinces. Naturally, these men like to stroll on the 
settlement and steal a look at the foreign devils. 

When I was there, certain Europeans used to connive 
at gaming-houses, and take shares in native theatres ; 
not to mention the pawnshops, drinking-houses, and 
other places even less orthodox ; all flourishing under 
the sacred nose of Her Majesty's Consul. I had 
already had plenty of experience in soldier " rows " 
on the Kewkiang settlement in 1872-4; but Chinkiang 
was a much rowdier place, both from a native and 
a foreign point of view. Consequently the municipal 
police had plenty of work ; and if the soldiers did no 
worse, they "committed a nuisance." 

For this last crime one strolling warrior was arrested 
when I was there, and he promptly punched the 
policeman's head. He was at last overpowered by 
others, and temporarily lodged in the consular gaol, 
the keeper of which was a one-eyed old soldier named 
Joshua Nunn, who boasted several medals, and had 
served his country bravely and well in the wars. 
Some more soldiers soon gathered round, and began 
to threaten a rescue, and even to burn down the 
Consulate. 

Quickly giving orders to plucky old Nunn to lock 
the man up in his strongest cell, I just sent a pencil 
message round by the fing-Mai to each of three 



94 "ROWS "-MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

sturdy Britishers: "Please step round with your gun ; 
I expect a row." 

In less than five minutes, round they came. A table 
and chairs were set outside the front door, and we 
four sat there, guns or rifles in hand. I am not quite 
sure but what they were the new rifles just about 
then served out to all the consulates in order to meet 
such eventualities : it was the Spark piracy that had 
set us all on the qjti vive. 

The Consulate stood (like most British Consulates) 
on the most commanding elevation ; in this case at 
least fifty feet above the road, with a steep mountain 
behind. About two hundred unruly soldiers gathered 
round the lower enclosure ; but when they saw us 
armed, quietly sitting and smoking at the door, they 
did not "come on." Meanwhile, a written message 
was sent to General Tao of the permanent camp, 
half a mile off, stating that the man would not be 
released unless he, the general, came in person to 
identify and punish him. 

In about half an hour down came General T'ao in 
his chair, with Colonel P'fing on his chai^er, and the 
usual rabble of a suite. It was explained to the two 
officers that there was no desire to claim jurisdiction 
over, or in any way be harsh to the arrested man, 
but that it must be clearly understood in future that 
if any soldiers, or even officers, came upon the settle- 
ment, they would be forced to obey the municipal 
bye-laws ; and the consul was municipal chairman. 



PARE BELLUM 95 

General Tao did not seem to like his position very 
much ; but he was civil. He went with me to the 
prison, and spoke to the man through the cell bars. 
The result of it was that the soldier received about 
twenty slight bastinado-strokes on the spot ; and all 
was settled. 

Twelve years later (1889) a somewhat similar riot 
occurred, and the Consulate was burnt down. I was 
in England at the time, and therefore only speak from 
hearsay. The cause was the same, — dissatisfaction of 
the Chinese with the somewhat fussy behaviour of 
the municipal police, who had just before that arrested 
a military officer for " reckless riding." Soldiers (three 
hundred) were sent from the camp to "protect" the 
Consulate, where the policeman, in this last case, had 
taken refuge ; but, of course, three hundred Chinese 
soldiers, who never do more than " look on," are not 
worth four well-armed Britishers who are prepared 
to shoot. Hence the mob simply rushed in unimpeded, 
and burnt the place, the consul and his wife barely 
escaping with their lives by clambering down the 
mountain side, half-dressed, to a friendly steamer. 

A "MISSIONARY ROW" 

On September 15, 1880, "there was not a cloud on 
the horizon," as Lord Granville had remarked the day 
before the Franco-Russian war broke out. By a 
singular coincidence, the very day before the events 



96 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

now to be narrated, a complimentary despatch ad- 
dressed to consular officers from Lord Granville had 
reached Canton, and the English and French consuls 
were both doing a little desipere in loco at Macao ; so 
quiet things were. The Chinese writers had, for some 
reason, gone away rather early. It was about 3.30, a 
very hot day, and I had just finished "tiffin," sent off 
my guests, and was drinking my coffee alone, when a 
note from P^re B^al was placed in my hands ; it was 
to the effect that an attack on the cathedral was 
threatening. 

In "rows" of this kind it is important to look 
sharp, as &ve minutes may make all the difference ; 
and in any case a Chinese writer (even if present) 
takes at least half an hour to fumble about with his 
inkstand, his draft, his fine phrases, and his caligraphy. 
I never hesitated to make a shift for myself when 
pressed for time, and now therefore jotted a few words 
down in pencil on the consul's visiting-card, so that a 
man was off to the Viceroy's in less than five minutes. 
The cathedral was about two miles away, and the 
Viceroy's yamin four. 

In a short time more ui^ent messages came from 
several of the Rev. PP., and they continued to come 
at intervals, varied by personal visits, every half-hour 
or so, for some hours. It was soon necessary to explain 
to the Viceroy that the French consul was away ; and 
finally, as the correspondence to and fro and the verbal 
messages became more frequent, to confess that the 



THE VICEROY MOBBED 97 

English consul was not there either. Still, in such 
cases the Chinese are never martinets ; and, apart from 
the consideration that one barbarian is, in their opinion, 
as good as another, and that *' petty divisions into states " 
arc (or were) not taken very seriously, they are usually 
willing to act reasonably in times of emergency, who- 
ever makes out a good case ; more especially when 
the British Consulate (as an abstraction) says '* It's all 
right" 

Chang Shu-sh£ng was a grizzled old warrior — an 
ex-rebel — who, as the story goes, had surrendered to Li 
Hung-chang, and had subsequently married Li's sister, — 
of the old Taiping revolution days. His chief feature 
was a single js^ged green tooth, or tusk, in the upper 
jaw, and he spat freely into your face as he addressed 
you. On this occasion, however, he came out well ; 
he went forth in his own chair, and (perhaps luckily 
for us) had his vice-regal hat knocked off, and his 
sedan smashed by the mob. 

The two gates and bridges of the foreign settle- 
ment (an island) were always watched by " the viceroy's 
guard," under the command of a well-disposed deputy, 
then named Chang Chen-toh. This man held himself 
(he was always supposed to do so) at the disposition 
of the British Consulate, and his mission was to keep 
the creek boats and rowdies in order. There was 
also a vice-regal steam-gunboat anchored near the 
cathedral : the French officer in command wished 
for my sanction to land marines at once, and came 

7 



98 " ROWS "—MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

in person to ask it ; but, though I had no objection 
in principle to usurping the authority of the Viceroy 
and French consul for a few hours, I declined on 
other grounds to approve this action. Another vice- 
regal steam-gunboat was anchored off Shamien ; the 
English (f>. Scotch) commander (a fine old fighting 
man and an ex-whaler, named Captain James Stewart) 
also came in person " for orders," and I privately 
arranged with him that, if the settlement were rushed, 
he should, at a signal from me, occupy it with all his 
forces and arms. (I may explain that the Viceroy 
had two anti-pirate steam-fleets ; the officers were all 
appointed and removed by the two consulates, but 
all " orders " came, nominally at least, through the 
Viceroy's chief-of-the-staPf.) 

Thus the commercial settlement was rendered 
perfectly safe both by land and by water; and all 
these dispositions were made before 9 o'clock in the 
evening, when the chairman of the municipality was, 
by way of precaution, told what had occurred, and 
warned to keep some Europeans on watch during 
the night This warning had the instant effect of 
summoning a meeting at the club, when the German and 
other " minor " consuls arranged to send for a gunboat, 
and to have an armed volunteer patrol during the night 
I think I scarcely moved from my chair until i a.m., 
the whole of this time being occupied in receiving 
and despatching letters and individuals. 

At I a.m. a formal letter arrived from the Viceroy 





\ 1 


m 


IS 

'"'4 

i 

i i 


J 




11 

n 

ij 






5 


K I 


MKk 











WHEN THE DEVIL WAS WELL 99 

Chang Shu-shdng, announcing that he had as many 
as two thousand men disposed in a cordon around 
the cathedral, the orphanage, parsonages, etc., etc., 
and that there was now no danger. So far as my 
memory serves me, one or two unimportant Christian 
houses had been fired or pulled down, but no French 
interest had suffered in any way. It so happened 
that there was no British gunboat at Hongkong, 
and the next day things were so quiet that there 
was some waggish disposition to suggest a *'got-up 
thing." More especially were the Protestant mis- 
sionaries indignant because no one (which was a fact) 
had given them a thought : most of them lived 
between the wharf and the cathedral. 

On the 17th the two consuls returned ; and on the 
1 8th a belated Portuguese gunboat turned up from 
Macao. The Viceroy's letter above-mentioned, and 
the French consul's subsequent letter laying stress 
on the narrow escape every one had had, were of 
course unknown to the Hongkong press, which also 
broadly hinted at a "mare's nest." However, the 
records are still there. 

Curiously enough, almost exactly three years later 
(September 10, 1883), a somewhat similar riot took 
place, and a big, ugly rush from the cathedral direc- 
tion actually took place. The sceptical residents thus 
had a second opportunity of dealing independently 
with the cry of "wolf." On this occasion the mob 
had a fairly good excuse, for a drunken Englishman 



lOO "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

named Logan had caused the death of a Chinese 
lad by shoving him overtioard as the daily steamer 
lay alongside the wharf (between the Consulate and 
the cathedral). But this second time over a dozen 
foreign houses were consumed ; the ladies were taken 
on board a friendly steamer ; the British flag was 
hauled down ; and the German consul's patrol was again 
requisitioned. The unfortunate Baron von Ketteler 
(murdered in Peking on June 13, 1900) distinguished 
himself very highly, and I believe several Chinamen 
were shot before the crowd desisted from their violence. 



FALLING HE FELL, AND FALLING EMITTED 
A THUD 

Such was the translation of Homer's favourite line 
AovtniiTev Be iretritv, etc., which once at school involved 
my next comrade's precipitate descent to the bottom of 
the class. The day after my return from a month's 
tramp in North Szch'wan, I was walking, followed by 
my escort man, towards the solitary gate which leads 
from the rocky peninsula of Chungking to the moun- 
tainous country, when I noticed angry faces and 
sullen groups on all sides, as if there had been a " row," 
and people were indignantly discussing it. As soon 
as we got out of earshot of the wall, the At'en's 
policeman said : " Great man, I think we had better 
go back another way ; the people are threatening 
you." I thought he was afraid for himself, because 



WERE I BUT CLEAR OF THESE FELLOWS loi 

his nasty habit of spitting at noisy boys (which had 
several times evoked my remonstrance) had made 
him unpopular with mammas. Still, I judged it 
more prudent to take a longer turn in the country 
than usual, and we therefore came back the same 
way towards dusk : any other direction would have 
involved a long detour, followed by a disagreeable 
walk through miles of malodorous streets. 

There were still crowds on the wall, the path along 
which was also the nearest road to my house. A 
scuffle took place above me as I entered the " tunnel " 
of the gate (I afterwards learned that some Protestant 
Christians had prevented a man from pushing a large 
stone on to me); but I ascended the wall from the 
inside as usual, and there found a human lane prepared 
for me, with rows of people on each side. A man I 
had never seen ran towards me and said hurriedly : 
" Great man, don't come this way : they are going 
to injure you." 

Suspecting a trap of some sort, I took no 
notice, (the missionaries explained to me this man's 
good intentions some days after the event,) and 
got safely through the lane, trying to look as 
unconcerned as possible. But, just when I thought 
all was over, some men of the loafer class assisted 
an old woman to clamber up the slopes. She flung 
her arms round my legs, and shouted out : ** Give me 
back his life; his back is broken." Knowing Chinese 
" dodges," it at once struck me that I had been seen 



102 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

lungeing at dogs with my stick, and that I was 
going to be accused of hitting a child. I looked 
round for the policeman, and saw instead, in the 
place where he should have been, a testudo of 
humanity, apparently engaged in trampling on him. 
The whole affair did not occupy as many seconds 
as it takes me minutes to describe it. 

I was clearly in a mess, and it was useless to run, 
so I fain had recourse to " art." I said : " Old madam," 
(the politest address), " you will understand that a 
mandarin cannot argue with small folk in the street 
The policeman belongs to the /u'e», who is responsible 
for him ; if you have any complaint to make, you 
should petition me at my public residence." Some 
of the better-disposed bystanders seemed impressed, 
and, nodding, said : " That is good language." 

Meanwhile, I walked quietly on, feeling decidedly 
uncomfortable. In about four minutes I was at home, 
but I purposely said nothing to my servants as I 
entered except : " Invite the writer at once." This man 
was a Roman Catholic Christian, and had served 
Mr. Baber faithfully on his travels. I said : " Please, go 
as quickly as you can to the Aim's yam^n [a good 
way off], and ask him yourself to come at once with 
his police. Violence has taken place, and I expect 
an attack in a few minutes." 

Off he went, and now I wrote an account of the 
matter to the taotai, warning him that the true facts 
would reach Peking by a sure channel, whatever should 



AN UNPLEASANT POSITION 103 

happen to me, and that I held him responsible. Off 
went the gatekeeper with this too. Dinner was served ; 
and during the meal a Protestant missionary came 
to say that a tremendous uproar was taking place, and 
people were saying I had killed a child. As his 
colleague had a wife, I suggested the wisdom of 
going back to look after the safety of his own 
mission-house. Then I was called by Chang-^rh to 
the outer door to inspect the policeman : he was 
severely mauled, but the people who had brought 
him seemed quite respectful I ordered him to be 
rubbed down with brandy, and told them they must 
petition the hien if they had any complaint. Then I 
went back to my own court, (or patio^ as a Spaniard 
would call it,) and had coffee. 

Just as I was lighting up my pipe, I heard a fearful 
din, and Chang-^rh, running up, said the outer gate 
was being " stove in with a coffin." He was ordered to 
bar the gates of each court, beginning with the outer- 
most, and I at once blew out the light. I had nothing 
on but a suit of duck and a pair of heelless slippers. 
These I kicked off, and (I had already thought out a 
plan of escape) took up a position on the high wall 
at the side of the successive yards, my idea being 
to advance towards the street as the mob advanced 
from the street, the gables of the three sets of buildings 
practically concealing the wall from persons in the 
three courts. 

Suddenly something occurred, and the Sov7rrj<T€v 



I04 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

ireniav episode took place. I did not know if I 
had been shot, or struck, or what ; but, after lying 
stunned for a second, I found myself prostrate in the 
narrow space between the wall and the tiers of build- 
ings, quite unable to speak or move. (It subsequently 
turned out that the mortar coping broke, and I had 
slipped.) Chang-^rh was just barring the inmost door, 
and heard the ** thud " : he ran up with the gatekeeper 
or Wang-erh (I am not sure which of the two had 
gone with the letter), muttering "A'Vzew/" ("How 
abominable!"). They carried me through the writer's 
"rock-fortress" at the extreme back into the next house. 
The people there (strangers) were very civil, and 
they said a chair was already in waiting at their back 
door to take me to tYi^yamfn ; this, however, I declined. 
Whilst we were smoking and drinking tea in a friendly 
way, I heard shouts : " The great old sire [the hien] has 
arrived. Eh ! what bravery ! He is punching the 
people's heads with his own fists ! " 

There was a fearful shindy for some time more, and 
meanwhile I thanked my hosts, and gave orders to be 
carried back to my own court Whilst being **laid 
gently down " there, I heard the hien's voice shouting : 
** Where is the great man ? Is the great man injured ? 
Take me to the consul Is he dead?" 

I shouted : " Here I am, old sire Kwo [Kwochang, 
a Mongol of fearless type] ; this way." 

He was delighted to see me " uninjured," and made 
the usual Chinese excuses about " silly boys," etc : 



SMOOTHING RUFFLED FEATHERS lOS 

he carried off with him the policeman wounded in my 
service. 

The next day both Roman Catholic and Protestant 
missionaries came to see me. The story now was that 
I had, by some supernatural means, stolen the golden 
duck from the sacred tank, and had thus been the 
cause of the prolonged drought. Both my ankles were 
badly sprained, and for many weeks I was obliged to 
roll myself from room to room, instead of walking. 

It was a fearfully hot summer ; the drought con- 
tinued for two months more ; and there were rumours 
almost daily of massacres and rebels. All the officials 
were my personal friends ; the leading Mussulman and 
the leading Roman Catholic gentry also frequently came 
to see me. The officials durst not punish any one, 
and I did not like to press the demand very hard, 
because I suspected my ** loaned " policeman was a bad 
lot, and for all I knew he might have given just cause 
for offence. The officials hinted that if I would consent 
to his execution, they would in turn execute one 
particular criminal whose name I had got from the 
missionaries; otherwise, they said, the people would 
accuse them of pandering to " ocean men." This quite 
Chinese arrangement did not take my fancy at all, and 
I managed in time to get the unfortunate policeman 
out of the hieris clutches, and send him safely to the 
Ichang consul (ten days* journey). As a solatium 
to my feelings, the taotai^ prefect, hien^ brigadier- 
general, etc., gave me a grand public banquet at the 



io6 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

prefect's yatnin (he holding the highest territorial or 
" host " rank in the town). The leading Roman Catholic 
Christian, Lo Pao-chr, was invited too, and (though I 
had to be supported) I thoroughly enjoyed the feast 
and the merriment after so long a confinement in the 
house. 

It is a long cry from Chungking to Peking, and 
when at last replies came, I soon saw that if there 
was to be a settlement of any kind I must invent 
one for myself : the officials simply jeered at the word 
"Tsung-li YamSny The kien (not a bad fellow, but 
quite unscrupulous) said : " Don't make a fuss : let 
the affair die out. We are treating you very kindly. 
Of course, if you persist in saying I am no match 
for what your people can do, then Tm going to fight." 
On the top of this came a private note from my first 
" relief," asking me to apply officially to have him sent 
back, and suggesting that things were not so bad 
with me as all that. The Viceroy at Ch'engtu, Ting 
Pao-ch6ng, was no lover of foreigners ; but he was 
a just man, and I therefore sent him a full official 
account of the whole affair, stating that I had decided 
not to insist on the personal satisfaction of punish- 
ment, but that I wanted proclamations issued all over 
the province. His reply (sent not to me, but to the 
taotat) was decidedly a good one for a Chinaman of 
exalted rank at that date. He ordered the authorities 
to " make repeated enquiries after my health," wanted 

• 

to know " whether I was an officer of rank, or how," 



NOT SO BLACK AS THEY ARE PAINTED 107 

and enclosed a large number of proclamations saying 
what a nice, learned, and just person I was, and how 
missionaries ought also to be protected. These 
proclamations were faithfully posted up, and later on 
I often heard from remote missionaries about them. 
I then left, leaving my two successive "reliefs" to 
fight it out between them on their arrival. 

About six years after that a somewhat similar " row " 
took place, and the same house was attacked. This 
time it was destroyed, and my third successor had to 
accept the chair, ^ain in waiting. He got knocked 
about considerably in the streets, and was obliged to 
live for safety during some time in a room set apart for 
him in one of the yamSns, The enormous premises of 
my Roman Catholic friends were burnt down, and 
the leading Roman Catholic Christian above mentioned 
was executed as a sop to the mob. Desperate efforts 
were made by the French Minister at Peking to save 
him ; but all in vain. He used, even in my time, 
to keep a number of paid bullies ready for the attack 
he was always expecting; but he was so rich, and so 
well supported by the bishop, that the authorities (who 
of course hated him) thought it better to hobnob 
with him. These paid bullies fought bravely to defend 
Lo's house, and even killed one rioter : hence Lo was 
decapitated for "murder." 

On the whole, I entertain grateful feelings towards 
my quondam Chungking friends, Chinese as well as 
French, Catholics as well as "Prots." 



io8 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

AN EXTINGUISHER AT W^NCHOW 

There were startling doings at W^nchow on the 
night of October 4-5, 1884. For some time the people 
had been excited over the French hostilities, and there 
had been rumours of massacre ; but it was such an in- 
offensive, sleepy place that no one took them seriously ; 
though, as a matter of fact, I sent word privately to 
Sir Harry Parkes, so as to be on the safe side : the 
only really malignant sign was that the authorities had 
asked me to mark all houses which were not French, 
and not Roman Catholic. This looked like ^^ Don't 
nail the French priests' ears to the pump, my lads," 
and so I declined to do it. Meanwhile, the French 
customs commissioner had been replaced temporarily 
by an English one. 

I was sitting on the verandah one evening, when 
suddenly I saw a blaze shoot up in the centre of the 
city, a mile away. My place was on a small island in 
the river about half a mile outside the wall, so that I was 
in the position of a man sitting alone in the comfortable 
dress circle of a dark theatre (as the late King Lewis of 
Bavaria used to do) and having the performance all to 
myself. " By gad ! there goes a missionary ! " said I 
to myself. Not a soul moved or sounded either on the 
island or outside the wall ; my servants were all at 
the back ; two tidewaiters occupied an old joss-house 
next door ; and the only other building on the island 
was the great historical temple in which " Facfur " took 



CLOUDS ON THE HORIZON 109 

refuge from Kublai Khan, as described by Marco 
Polo. 

After watching the blaze for half an hour, I heard 
the rapid click of the oar-pin, and the sound of a 
boat approaching through the darkness. I quite fore- 
saw who it would be. He entered by the servants* 
door, exchanged a word with the servants, and then 
came upstairs: it was the big fing-ch^ai. He spoke 
quite calmly : " Great man, Mr. Soothill's place is 
burnt, and he has disappeared. They have now gone 
to bum all other foreign houses and the customs, after 
which they are coming here." 

"All right; you go back at once and watch what 
occurs." 

The little fing-Mai was sent separately. Chang-6rh 
now came up to entertain me with his views upon 
missionaries and pagans, and was just beginning his 
exordium when another boat came alongside. This was 
the English commissioner of customs and his second 
(a German), with a cash-box and two rifles ; they had 
just escaped by the " skin of their teeth " by getting 
over the wall and taking forcible possession of an 
unwilling boat. The two tidewaiters were sent for ; and 
also the consular constable (married, with a family), who 
occupied rooms in the big temple. There were six of 
us, with a fair show of guns, pistols, and swords ; the 
lower part of the Consulate was of stone ; quite defen- 
sible ; and we all sat down in front of it, comfortably 
watching one blaze following the other. 



no "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

Various t'mg-ck'ais and messengers arrived at inter- 
vals. It appeared that all the missions had now 
gone : nothing was known of the Roman Catholic priest 
(Italian) ; the English missionaries had escaped to 
the hieti& yamSn (he was a very able city magistrate, 
and really " ran " the whole town), but had been 
belaboured on the way. The Brigadier-General was 
supposed to be exhorting the crowd to disperse : the 
other mandarins were present in accordance with law 
to " command order " ; but, of course, no one was really 
doing anything but " wait until the clouds rolled by." 
Dr. Macgowan, a venerable American customs officer of 
eighty years of £^e, had bravely started on his poney 
to " save the missionaries " single-handed. All private 
residences, chapels, schools, etc., had now been con- 
signed to the flames. It was already past midnight, 
and at last the customs (just inside the gate) was 
ablaze. The question was ; Would the rioters cross to 
Uie island? From the movement of lights and the 
other dimly discernible signs of activity, it looked as 
though a large timber raft (of which many used to float 
down from the upper districts) was being laden with 
people ; and, some one said, with tins of kerosene oil. 

At this juncture the following question was put 
by me : " We are now all here on equal terms, and 
it is important to decide whether we should abide 
by the determination to remain and defend ourselves, 
and then stick to that decision." One tidewaiter 
expressed the opinion that we ought rather to 



WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS BEST in 

cross over in the consular boat, and march in a 
body to rescue Dr. Macgowan and the missionaries ; 
but no one else supported this suggestion, least 
of all myself. Then it was urged by another of 
those present that, as everything in the city be- 
longing to foreigners had already been destroyed, it 
was useless to think of saving anything but our 
lives. A majority agreed. I expressed the opinion 
that our safest place was where we were, and 
announced my intention to remain, if only on that 
ground. At the same time, as the consular archives 
were few and unimportant, and my own property 
was of no value whatever compared with other men's 
lives, I authorised the constable, as a married man 
responsible for his wife and child, to do what he 
thought right for his family. Finally, it was resolved 
to leave in the consular boat, which was large enough 
to carry all, including the constable's wife (Portuguese) 
and daughter, and the various male and female 
servants. Rugs and stores with all the arms were 
placed in, and off they put, the idea being to drift 
down the river and meet the steamer, which was due 
in a day or two from Shanghai. Just before pushing 
off, the party sent back the constable to represent 
once more the unwisdom of remaining, and he shook 
hands solemnly with a " God bless you, sir ! " 

During the next two hours nothing occurred beyond 
a final flare up below the gate, which (I afterwards 
learnt) drew forth from someone in the boat, now far 



112 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

down the river, the remark : " There goes poor Parker ! " 
This was an excellent opportunity for Chang-6rh to 
come and moralise in solitude. A tea-table was set in 
front of the Consulate, and he stood behind me with 
my official hat ** We are used to this, are we not ? " 

I was "thinking hard," and by no means inclined 
to chatter, so I replied : " Yes. Who is there left 
besides you?" 

"The big t'ing^ch'air 

The old priest then turned up, and offered to hide 
away in his own room one of the helpless Chinese 
women who had been left behind in a fever. At 
last there was a confused noise as of an approaching 
multitude. By the now bright moonlight a raft was 
seen making fast to the bank near the offices, which 
lay a little distance down stream from the consular 
residence. A number of men came rushing up, headed 
by a barefooted man in "pyjamas" — or the Chinese 
equivalent therefor. Thinking this was the ringleader, 
I rose and bowed. 

" It is the Brigadier-General," said the fing-cJCai. 

" Why, they told me you had all gone off in a boat, 
and I have just sent a war-junk to say there is no 
cause for alarm. I got out of bed as you see me. 
I have also sent troops by the river banks to protect 
the people in the boat if they land." 

" It is quite true ; they have all gone ; but I am here, 
as you see. The best way would be to send an express 
messenger with a note from me to bring them all back." 



**> 




RID ME OF THESE FELLOWS 113 

•* But the people are coming. I have another junk 
here to take you off." 

''But, as you are here with your men, why not 
protect the Consulate?" 

"I have no authority to use force without the 
command of the taotaV^ 

"But what is the use of a general and an army 
unless he maintains order ? " 

Just then the hien arrived, in full uniform and in 
perfect good humour. He said Dr. Macgowan and 
all the missionaries were safe, except the Italian, who 
had utterly disappeared. We thereupon all sat down 
over tea and cigars to discuss the situation. 

I said : " The general tells me he has no authority 
to use force. I say : * Fire at the first batch who 
attempt to land here.' You are the 'host officiar 
of this city ; surely in case of emergency you have 
the power to use force ? " 

He replied : " I have ; at my discretion and peril." 

I rejoined : " Then do it. I will guarantee to hold 
you both harmless, and I accept the responsibility." 
(The hieuy I may add, is, in nominal rank, infinitely 
below a general.) 

The hkn then turned to the general and said : ** All 
right" 

** But," said the general, " I have not the requisite 
force." 

** How many men are here now ? " I asked. 

I think he said, " Fifty." 

8 



114 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

" How many have loaded rifles ? " 

" Twelve." 

"Then march the twelve down to the office now, 
and let the Men shout out to yonder raft there, that if 
it approaches nearer the general has given orders to 
fire." 

The moon had gone behind the clouds, and I could 
only hear, without seeing, what took place ; but 
apparently the raft at once dropped down stream. 
At all events, nothing more took place. It was 
now past two, and after moodily looking at the fires 
going down for about an hour, we all began to 
yawn. It was decided to leave the soldiers in the 
big temple ; and the two officials then left, promising 
to call again at daylight 

All was now perfectly silent, both on the island 
and in the city ; so I went to bed ; and the soldiers 
settled down to sleep in the temple court. Just 
before lying down on the bed dressed, I mechanically 
looked for my keys (then always attached to my 
watch) : both they and the small clock had disappeared. 

« Boy ! " 

''Djar 

"Where is my watch?" 

The boy took my keys, the watch, and the clock 
from his sleeve with the remark : " I thought I might 
as well take care of these if the place was burnt 
down." 

What happened the next day is "another story." 



"NO ITALIAN PRIEST" 115 

A NICE LITTLE FAMILY PARTY 

Next morning, at about 5 a.m., the taotaiy prefect, 
general, hien^ etc., all presented themselves to apologise. 
If I had not remained, they might have concocted 
any plausible story they had fancied ; but my position 
was now quite unassailable. They simply grinned, 
and said : " What are you going to do ? We submit 
to judgment." 

"Well," I said, "you have five Powers to deal with, 
and Sir Robert Hart to boot. The first thing is to 
apologise, and get the gentry to join you. Next, 
you must either produce, or name 'the whereabouts 
of all those missionaries. I strongly suspect you 
know where the Italian really is. Also, I must know 
what has become of the boat." 

They all went away much relieved ; but the hien 
said that the people were too excited to permit of 
the missionaries going out into the streets just yet. 

At about II that same morning the boat returned, 
and those of its occupants who had not houses of 
their own on the island were quartered in the Con- 
sulate, and "washed." We were all perfectly com- 
fortable and safe on the island ; the only thing was 
that the ill-equipped soldiers were a noisy nuisance, 
until I gave them money to buy cooking-pans and 
many other "shortages." 

On the same day (at 4 p.m.) Dr. Macgowan and the 
English missionaries were sent back |in a native boat. 



ii6 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

Each had a roll of dollars and a red blanket pre- 
sented to him by the hien : they looked for all the 
world like the Red Indians one sees perched on the 
buffers of trains in the Far West. Still the Italian 
was not forthcoming, and I told the hien he ought 
to go himself to search for him, as no settlement 
was possible if any one were killed. At last he was 
found in a house next door to his own, and was 
sent to me at 3 p.m. on the 6th. In his own words: 
"When I heard the cries of the mob round my 
house, I rushed to consume the sacred elements, 
jumped up on to the roof, dropped into the court 
beyond, flung myself on my knees to an old pagan 
woman who was there, and induced her to hide 
me in a cord of wood." Here he remained in 
concealment until discovered by the hien. 

By this time the steamer had arrived, and two 
of the male missionaries went to Shanghai, in very 
scratch attire, to obtain a refit; luckily, the two lady 
missionaries had gone by a previous steamer. The 
Italian priest presented himself before the French 
bishop at Ningpo clad in an old plaid dressing-gown 
lined with sheepskin (the one I wore in Sz Ch'wan 
after the robbery of my black astrachan) and a red 
smoking-cap. One Scotch missionary was a gigantic 
man with one leg (which in the old times avait valu 
pour VAngleterre the reputation of being a " one-legged " 
country), and it was difficult to arrange any pair 
of trousers to hit off all the minuses arid pluses 



THE LION-HEARTED SIR HARRY 117 

harmoniously. He took with him his native school- 
girls for safety ; and the old Chinese priest's grateful 
protigie went too. 

Before the Europeans left, however, they were each 
and all of them requested to state in writing what sum 
they would take in compensation for their losses : no 
details, no inventory, no afterthoughts ; simply state 
a generous sum once for all. The total was thirty- 
five thousand dollars, and this sum the Chinese 
undertook on the loth instant to pay, provided I 
gave my word it should be final. It was stipulated 
that no proclamations should be issued, no war-junks 
or troops now on guard moved without my approval. 
There was a difficulty about the property of customs 
officers, for their rules do not allow them to seek 
consular aid : this difficulty was overcome by the 
Chinese "voluntarily offering" them compensation. 
A "treaty" was signed and sealed on the 12th 
by all the Chinese officials, and by the missionaries 
left behind ; — in fact, by all the " free " foreigners,— 
and the case was thus at an end. 

If Sir Harry Parkes had been one of General 
Gordon's ideal diplomats, he might possibly have dis- 
covered some dark, personal motive in my thus cobbling 
up a silly indiscretion; but luckily he was also a 
lion-hearted, straightforward, patriotic man, who was 
capable of distinguishing plain dealing from humbug ; 
so he at once telegraphed {vid Ningpo) that he and 
Sir Robert Hart left the whole settlement absolutely 



ii8 ''ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

to me. The German, American, and Italian ministers 
were also pleased to see a summary end made 
to the matter; and their three home Governments, 
many months afterwards, approved the settlement. 
France being practically at war with China, the 
French claims were settled in the names of the bishop 
at Ningpo, the Italian minister, and Sir Robert Hart, 
without there being any necessity to trouble the 
French authorities at all. 

But the Wfinchow people had always affected to 
disapprove of gunboats approaching their sacred city ; 
still more had they vowed that no foreign seamen 
should ever land there ; and that their temple in the 
heart of the city should never be desecrated by sailors. 
Fortunately, in Captain Hope and Captain Carey- 
Brenton we had two naval commanders who combined 
the necessary tact and firmness to " drive home *' with 
striking completeness. Captain Hope anchored his 
gunboat (23rd) between the city gate and the Consulate, 
and practised with his Gardner guns at a target 
under the eyes of the whole city. Admiral Dowell 
came up to inspect on the 29th. Captain Brenton 
invited a large party of the Chinese " army " to dinner 
on board, and a day or two later a goodly company of 
Chinese soldiers waited respectfully at the city gate to 
" receive " the jolly jack-tars, who marched arm-in-arm 
with the soldiers up the crowded main street, and dined 
with them in the great temple itself. An assault-at- 
arms was held at the Consulate in the presence of the 



GET THEE GONE, MADAM! 119 

mandarins : the Chinese soldiers went through their 
pirouettings, and the seamen through their cutlass 
and sword-stick drill. Finally, the crew more than 
once played cricket in a field outside the walls, sur- 
rounded by an admiring crowd of gaping natives. 

The Chinese authorities rebuilt their own customs 
offices and residences without Sir Robert Hart having 
to move at all, and the missionaries got their money 
for brand-new houses all round. At the last moment 
both the missionaries and myself discovered certain 
omissions ; more especially had I omitted to charge for 
the iron pans, allowances to soldiers, keep of mission- 
aries, etc The ever-alert hien easily arranged this, 
notwithstanding my solemn promise by deed. A 
tiny chapel had been destroyed in the country on 
October 6; the iron pans and all other miscellanies 
were therefore merged one by one into this chapel, 
until its value reached the extra sum of two thousand 
dollars. Thus thirty-seven thousand dollars were 
actually paid in all (November 9), and all were happy. 
Only one " criminal " was arrested ; but as his mother 
showing signs of howling outside my door night and 
day for the rest of her natural life, I did not press 
for his severe punishment 

The moral of this story is that Chinese nerves are 
so constructed that every mandarin seems to have 
in him the makings of a ''murderer" or a saviour, 
accordingly as the " tide in the affairs of men " is 
taken at the flood or on the ebb ; that " rows " are 



I20 "ROWS"— MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

seldom so dangerous or so serious as their noise and 
appearance is appalling ; and that a readiness to make 
allowances for foolish human nature is commonly 
appreciated at its full value on the Chinese side. 

The same missionaries had to take refuge on the 
island once more during the "Boxer" riots of 1900; but 
I see that my sensible and accomplished successor has 
been able to extract ample compensation in the same 
friendly spirit as that evinced sixteen years ago. I 
see no reason why the whole "Chinese Question" 
should not be treated on analogous lines. 

A CHINESE "REVOLUTION" 

In the early days of Corea there was much jealousy 
between the Japanese and the Chinese. " Demonstra- 
tions" of all kinds were frequently taking place, and 
it had just been agreed officially between them that 
neither Power should land any more troops or marines 
without the other's written consent. Meanwhile, at 
the particular moment I describe, a considerable 
Chinese fleet lay in the harbour of Chemulpho, in- 
cluding several ironclads ; and, much closer in to shore, 
not a stone's throw from the British vice-consulate, 
was anchored a tiny English gunboat, with a crew of 
perhaps eighty sailors and marines all told. 

It so happened that the very capable Japanese 
physician Dr. Tanaka was in my sitting-room, prescrib- 
ing a remedy for lumbago, and I just glanced out of 



''STRANGER THAN FICTION" 121 

the window to see if the threatening snow had blown off 
sufficiently to permit of his departure. What was my 
astonishment to see about eighty Chinese "coolies" 
drawn up in military array opposite the Chinese Con- 
sulate on the Chinese " concession," as though preparing 
to attack some one. At the same instant the English 
Commissioner of Customs came breathlessly up to an- 
nounce that the custom-house (just beneath the consular 
hill) had been violently seized by the Chinese ; one of 
his English assistants had already been severely hurt ; 
himself and all the others driven out. It was simply, 
according to him, a cunningly arranged coup (Titaty 
conceived in order to make Chinese influence pre- 
dominant. 

The Chinese and Japanese ** concessions " extended 
for half a mile along the shore ; the Japanese at their 
end of the town knew nothing of what was occurring ; 
the British hill at the other extreme was clear of 
both " concessions " ; and the Corean custom-house 
stood at the foot of the hill on the brink of the 
central or Chinese settlement, and had already, a 
few months back, been burnt down once by some 
malcontents. There was no primd facie ground for 
British interference in this intrigue, except the possi- 
bility of a second fire reaching the Consulate buildings ; 
moreover, the Admiralty's instructions upon the subject 
of landing parties were very rigid. But there was no 
time to lose : five more minutes, and a fait accompli 
would have given the diplomats at Peking perhaps 



122 '* ROWS "—MISSIONARY AND OTHER 

years of harassing work ; not to mention bad blood 
and eventual hostility. Under these circumstances, I 
gave about four square inches of paper to the Com- 
missioner with the following words hastily jotted upon 
it in pencil, addressed to no particular individual: 
''Will the gunboat please send ten marines fully 
armed and equipped for the immediate defence of the 
Consulate ? " In less than five minutes the Commissioner 
had run down the hill, got a boat, delivered his 
message, and ten marines with blankets and rifles 
were marching up the circuitous path to the Con- 
sulate, where they were stowed away during the 
night. The movement was executed with marvellous 
rapidity and calmness by the lieutenant in charge 
of the party. The effect was instantaneous ; the 
Chinese dispersed, and their consul sent to protest 
against the use of what he called " force." 

Thus the whole " revolution " took about ten minutes ; 
and six months later I received through my superiors 
Lord Granville's formal approval, though I had never 
even reported the matter officially to any one. But, thus 
short though my active participation was, the sequela 
were multiform. Telegrams from everybody every- 
where ; protests from the Chinese consul and Captain 
T6ng of the fleet ; messages by ** special envoy " to 
me from the King of Corea to deprecate hostilities ; 
questions at the Admiralty ; arguments, discussions, 
and what not Fortunately for me, Mr. (now Sir 
Nicholas) O'Conor, who was then in charge at Peking, 



EADEM EST RATIO 



123 



took a considerate view of the semi-ridiculous situation 
as represented to him by my immediate superior at 
Soul ; but if he had seen fit to charge me with usurping 
powers belonging of right to others ; or with disobeying 
instructions ; or with having acted with some unworthy 
motive, I should have been quite helpless to defend 
myself except under open enquiry. 



CHAPTER VI 
PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

THE PIRACY OF THE SPARK 

ONE broiling hot day at Canton, a colleague 
came rushing in : " The Spark has been taken 
by pirates. Brady's been killed." The Spark was 
a small river steamer plying between Macao and 
Canton. As with all river steamers, the greater part 
of the ship was devoted to Chinese passengers, and 
the few Europeans occupied only the forward part 
of the upper deck. As the steamer was getting out 
into the open sea near the Fumun {Humin, or 
Bocca Tigris), a couple of dozen out of about twelve 
dozen Chinese passengers ** rushed " the ship ; at once 
killed Captain Brady ; and either chased overboard 
or severely wounded the other two officers; besides 
killing or pitching into the river several Chinese 
passengers who resisted. The single European pas- 
senger, an inoffensive young tea-taster named Mundy, 
who was, moreover, almost helpless from fever and 
gout, was jabbed with spears as he was trying to rise 

X24 



-THE MOST UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL" 125 

from a long cane chair: he was left on the deck for 
dead. The Chinese engineers managed to hide them- 
selves away, until certain junks concerned in the plot 
came out of a creek in which they had been lurking, 
and took the pirates off. After a time, the artificers 
on board recovered enough presence of mind to work 
their way across the bay into Macao. 

Rewards were at once offered by the Viceroy 
Jweilin, the steamer company, and the Portuguese 
Governor Januario. Every effort was made to un- 
earth the pirates from amongst the river haunts. 
I have a faint recollection of two or three being 
ultimately arrested and punished, but I cannot be 
certain. I remember a story of two being surrounded 
in a house by soldiers, at or near a place called 
Fati, above Canton. However, from that day to this 
the native passengers have always been confined 
below the hurricane decks of all river steamers, a 
man armed with sword and revolver standing over 
the only exit They are no longer allowed to parade 
the promenade deck and converse with the European 
passengers; and, besides this, a stack of rifles and 
pistols is always kept, both in the captain's cabin 
and at the head of the saloon stairs. Even with 
ocean-going steamers analogous precautions are 
taken. 

Mr. Mundy's youthful career in China was thus 
cut short within a few months of its inception ; but, 
strange to say, the gout was driven out of him for 



126 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

good, through the various safety-valves for peccant 
humours afforded by twenty or thirty spear thrusts. 
He had to go home. I believe he wrote a book 
on the subject later on, but I have never seen it ; 
and, however interesting it may be as a general 
History of China^ it cannot add much to the above 
narrative, for the whole affair only took five minutes, 
during four minutes and fifty-nine seconds of which 
Mr. Mundy lay weltering in his blood, quite un- 
conscious. In the end, I believe, he suffered no 
more serious permanent damage than a slight stiffness 
about the neck and shoulders. 

Steamers of the largest size — three thousand or 
four thousand tons — have once or twice been threat- 
ened between Hongkong and Singapore, and I was 
myself on a large rice steamer one day at an island 
off Bangkok (Koh-si Chang) when the Chinese load- 
ing coolies took possession ; but this was a mere 
'*row" or strike, and the English captain, like a 
wise man, sat quietly smoking his pipe with me on 
the bridge, not even giving an order : he could not 
have done anything against fifty or sixty irate 
Chinamen armed with poles. Soon the Siamese 
police came on board to see what the hullabaloo was 
all about. The offending stevedore or contractor was 
dismissed and arrested, and things solvebantur ambulando, 
at the small total cost of a few broken heads and a 
miserable squeezing purveyor's dignity. 



A THIEF IN THE NIGHT 127 

A PIRATICAL ATTACK 

After a couple of days' sail down the Wfinchow 
River, which is navigable up to and down from 
Lungts'iian, near the borders of Fuh Kien, we anchored 
for the night at a lonely spot some distance above 
the city of Ts'ingt'ien. The boat was about 
twenty feet long, but so constructed that every one 
had to lie down when the central mat-cover was 
on. The boatmen stood up in the prow or at the 
stem, poling from a sort of ledge running round 
the gunwales ; in fact, the craft was exactly similar 
to the Burmese boats of the Nantabet River on the 
Yiinnan-Kachyn frontier, as I discovered eight years 
later. 

Being so near home, I had left the mandarin and 
escort behind, to follow at leisure in his own boat ; 
and consequently, beyond the crew of three, there 
was no one in mine but the hands and the big 
tUng'ch'ai, By preference, I always anchored in the 
open reaches, so as to avoid crowds, though the 
boatmen much preferred a busy town, where rice 
shops and gossip were handy. 

The lights were out, and we were all shaking 
down to a well-earned sleep, when I fancied I heard 
soft whispers outside. It was very dark ; but, as I 
lifted aside the mat and put my head out, I dis- 
tinctly saw the shadow of a man crouching away in 
another boat alongside, which then put silently off. 



128 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

I shouted out : ** If any boat comes alongside s^ain, 
I will fire!" I had no arms but an old French 
pistol, which made scarcely any noise when it went 
off, and whose powers of penetration were more than 
problematical. In a short time I again peered out, 
and once more distinctly saw the same boat hover- 
ing near. Then I did fire — of course without any 
murderous intention or effect — and the moderate 
explosion and noise thus made sufficed to rouse up 
the sleepy boatmen and servant. The order was : 
"Put off at once, and drift down the centre of the 
river till daylight." 

Every one seemed terribly alarmed, nor were we 
more at our ease when we perceived the piratical 
craft steadily following us at about twenty yards' 
distance. I then stood up, pistol in hand, covering 
the pursuers, and shouted : " The first person who 
shows himself near this boat is a dead man I " I 
heard a voice say, not in the local but in the 
mandarin dialect: "Go on! He is only one man. 
He is breaking the law. What have we to fear?" 
I then really did fire, and possibly hit some part of 
the boat, but certainly wounded no one, or the 
hullaballoo would have been fearful, however innocuous 
the wound inflicted by my feeble weapon might have 
been. 

On this the piratical craft definitely moved ofT, 
and we got safely to WSnchow that afternoon, with 
our feathers much ruffied. I at once complained in 



WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT? 129 

strong language to the officials, who seemed to be 
really astonished and pained at the occurrence; more 
especially so was the imperial likin superintendent, 
who, amongst his other duties, connived at the illicit 
salt trade along the river, and appeared genuinely 
concerned at the sad mishap. 

As I had suffered no damage whatever to person 
or property, I made no further fuss ; but on the 
arrival, a day or two afterwards, of my escort and 
the belated mandarin in charge of it, the latter made 
some incidental remarks of a cynical nature which 
caused me to reconsider my mental attitude, and 
forced me to seek possible reasons for his discontent. 
In fact, the more I thought it over, the clearer be- 
came the following hypothesis: The boatmen had 
taken advantage of my prestige to smuggle, and the 
likin police were naturally indignant at their bare- 
faced persistency in resisting search, and nightly seeking 
secluded moorings. When, in pursuance of their duty 
they were shadowing the boat, they came across a 
hirsute and violent barbarian trying to pass himself 
off as a consul. The question was : What to do ? 

There is reason to believe that my "successful 
smuggling" spoilt a similar little game worked by 
my belated escort. 

A REAL MURDER 

In the early days of Corea there was very little house 
accommodation except in Chinese and Japanese inns, 

9 



130 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

and I myself had to live some time in ** Harry's " hotel, 
a mere wooden shanty, like a booth upon the Epsom 
downs. Consequently Chinese, Japanese, and Corean 
body-servants herded together in any little odd corners ; 
and as Japanese women often did the washing and sew- 
ing, and sometimes even the interpreting, this absence 
of privacy led to various incidents with the Chinese 
"boys": my own servant had to be severely reprimanded 
for unwelcome "gallantry." One European (not a 
British subject) had a gigantic boy even bigger than 
mine, and this menial, who rather fancied himself, 
grew very sulky because the Japanese ayah employed 
by his master would not listen to his attentions. 

One morning the Chinese consul was astonished to 
receive a visit from an excited European brandishing 
a long, bloody carving-knife. Although my affairs 
lay beyond the ken of the various nationalities con- 
cerned, I promptly received visits from all three, each 
asking me what was to be done. It turned out that 
in a fit of rage and jealousy the Chinese boy had 
" gone for " the unfortunate girl, and had run the knife 
deep into her bowels. Of course she fell dead on the 
spot, and the master, armed with reeking evidence, 
went to ask for the villain's arrest 

As the rules about applying to consuls and housing 
servants were very strict in the customs service, the 
unfortunate master was at his wits' end what to do, and 
asked my advice. This was to write at once direct to 
Sir Robert Hart, and tell the plain truth, without offering 



"AH! LOVE FLUNG AWAY!" 131 

any apologies, before distorted rumours should reach 
his ears. This was done, and no more was said about 
the matter, as the master was in no way to blame, 
and had done nothing contrary to local custom. As 
to the Chinese consul, he had no power to deal with 
murder cases, and so he sent the ''boy'' up under 
strong escort to Yiian Shi-k'ai, the Resident at Soul. 
I happened to go to Soul that day too, and passed 
the procession on the road. At that time Japanese 
influence was infinitely below that of China, and it 
was quite certain that no Chinese life would be sacri- 
ficed for the sake of a Japanese ; least of all a man's 
life for that of a woman ; nor were the Japanese 
politically strong enough to insist upon it. The result 
was that a more or less genuine trial was held, and 
the " boy " was deported to China, " to be severely dealt 
with" there,— probably to be at once set at liberty. 
As things now stand, it is scarcely likely that the 
Japanese would accede so readily to such one-sided 
justice ; but just then several lives were owed to the 
Chinese, so the poor woman was hastily buried and 
forgotten, as a mere counter in the game. 



THE GREAT MURDER CASE 

Returning from my usual hard walk over the 
mountains one afternoon at Pagoda Anchorage 
(February 1890), I was approached by the fing-cliai 
with a petition written upon red paper in the usual 



132 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

legal form. I noticed the words ** human life " and 
" arrest the offenders " ; but, notwithstanding this terrible 
state of affairs, I had my bath as usual, and came cool 
to the affray. Then it appeared that A-lu, the rich 
storekeeper, "and others," had charged three seamen 
belonging to a British steamer with premeditated mur- 
der. The victim was in a tritical state, and the steamer 
was about to start After some shuffling, the gentry 
agreed to bring the " body " for inspection, protesting 
meanwhile that I was assuming a great risk, as complete 
rest was the only chance of the man's surviving. Up 
marched the bearers of the bier in solemn procession, 
and A-lu, who was rather a bully, delivered a menacing 
speech, calling upon me, in the name of justice and 
British honour, to prevent the " escape " of the steamer. 
What humbug was at the bottom of all this of course 
I could not guess, but I felt sure the whole thing 
was a swindle. However, in China it is dangerous to 
trifle with "human life," and either the victim might 
commit suicide, or the victim's friends murder him out 
of sheer spite ; — nothing more common in China. So 
I sent for Dr. Underwood, physician to the gaol, 
and we held a grave " inquest " in front of my house 
door. At first A-lu would not allow the shroud to 
be moved off; then he would not permit the body to 
be touched. No directions were given to the doctor : 
he was simply requested coram populo to state what 
was the matter. The feet were not yet cold — that 
was one comfort ; the heart was distinctly beating ; 




fLJ,IFf>,r^- 



I 



M 



I 



"HOIST WITH HIS OWN PETAR" 133 

no external wounds were visible beyond a few black 
and blue marks, which might be dirt ; but A-lu said 
the internal injuries were so grave that the " murdered " 
man could not be induced to swallow even a cup of 
tea. Remembering the sad death of A-no's brother 
I felt rather skeery about internal injuries. The result 
was the doctor gave it up. " I can't say what is the 
matter, because I can see nothing, and his circulation 
is going on in a normal way." Under these circum- 
stances there was nothing for it but to " lay him 
gently down" in a native building, and the English 
constable was directed to watch the house all night, 
or make the consular boatmen take turns with him. 
But first of all a message was sent to the captain, 
whose steamer lay several miles away, and the three 
" murderers " were given up informally by him on my 
personal guarantee. 

The next day A-lu and his friends applied to the 
constable for permission to speak to the prisoners, 
which was refused. From the prisoners' own account 
it appeared that the injured man had attempted to 
steal a dollar, and in his haste to escape arrest by 
the victimised sailors, had jumped rather heavily 
into his own boat and made off. Either he or his 
master A-lu had trumped up a story in order to 
escape a charge themselves, or to extort money 
from the steamer. Of course the local mandarin was 
obliged to back up A-lu's petition ; but on the third 
day he seems to have suspected a mare's nest, for the 



134 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

" injured man " could not well die under observation, 
and I took care that no one should inflict wounds upon 
him. The mandarin then came to see me, in order 
to ascertain something about the proposed ** trial " : he 
at once saw that " the cat was out " when I proposed 
a settlement as follows: Full wages for the seamen 
unjustly accused, during the round voyage of the 
steamer to Hongkong and back ; the injured man 
to be flogged in the presence of my constable ; 
apology by the gentry, with crackers and a pork 
feast all round ; fifty dollars fine for A-lu. — The 
case was thus settled over a bottle of champagne. 



THE GREAT SPANISH MURDER CASE 

A FEARFUL "murder" was reported to have been 
committed by an Englishman one night at Pagoda 
Anchorage. Somehow or other, every one in trouble 
seems to obtain British nationality in one way or 
another. At all events, it is always the British 
consul who has to square matters. The usual official 
petition came in, and "life for life" was demanded 
in due course. A little preliminary enquiry elicited 
the information that the murderee was not yet dead, 
and that the murderous Englishman was a Manilaman 
of Spanish nationality employed on an Australian 
barque. There had been a row in a grog-shop ; the 
Spaniards had been pursued ; and Pedro de los Santos, 
as the prisoner was called, had jostled one Chinaman 



MORITURUS VOS SALUTAT 135 

overboard, and prodded him, as he "drownded," with 
a boat-hook. 

My "jurisdiction" in a matter of assault would 
have been clear if the affair had taken place on 
or even round the barque; but the scrimmage 
was an amphibious one, as much on shore as 
off it, especially as the body floated safe home. In 
such cases the French, and some other nations, not 
only do not claim, but they refuse jurisdiction. 
Moreover, the Spaniards are very touchy about 
their sovereign rights and their dignity, and (being 
a lawyer of the " utter " bar myself) I naturally at 
once discerned a '* conflict of legal and diplomatic 
opinion" in the makings of it. 

The Chief Justice, to whom I applied for advice, 
was, of course, " quite clear " ; but he still managed 
to leave me in doubt whether I should "take" or 
"offer" jurisdiction. I decided, simply for a novelty, 
to "offer" it to His Most Catholic Majesty's Consul- 
General at Amoy, who accordingly despatched his 
"vice," SeGor Perera, with all proper ceremony, to 
try the case. Seftor Perera made a nice little holiday 
of it, and brought his wife too. It was also a 
great day for Pagoda Anchorage ; and a small " tiffin " 
was given at my house, in honour of the distin- 
guished visitors, during an adjournment of the court : — 
"Butchered to make a British holiday." 

The case was conducted in Spanish, Ts^al, and 
various Chinese dialects, sagacious odi^er dicta being 



136 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

thrown out by the retiring host in sturdy Engh'sh. I 
occupied a seat on the bench, from time to time mur- 
muring sage counsel into the ears of my learned Spanish 
brother ; but in what capacity I never even reflected. 
The credibility of witnesses seemed to depend entirely 
on whether they claimed to be catSlicos or not The 
" papers " and notes were voluminous, and I suppose 
they are now the property, by conquest, of the 
United States ; for both they and the prisoner were 
sent oflf to the High Court at Manila, the case being 
altogether too grave for "the court below." 

Enough of the " murdered " man was left to admit 
of our inspecting his features at the trial ; and, as quite 
three weeks had elapsed, there was, in the judgment of 
the court, good hope of his surviving. But the women 
of the family did not quite see where they came in, 
if the whole business was to leave " the jurisdiction " 
and go to Manila. The choc dopinions was such that, 
in order to relieve myself from the pressure of female 
petitions and bowlings, I endeavoured to impress upon 
the Spanish authorities that the dignity of Spain 
would be best consulted by their making a small 
compensation allowance to the mother ; but the in- 
transigeant Spaniards would only give five dollars, 
and said, in effect : " No ! They have demanded 
Spanish law, and they have got it. If they had 
offered to hush the matter up at first, we might 
have given something more ; but, as it is, the cost 
of a return journey between Amoy and Pagoda, 



WORKS BOTH WAYS 137 

and of shipping the prisoner to Manila will amount to 
several hundred dollars at least." So back went the 
disconsolate Chinese family to its usual routine. 

Soon — almost the very next week, in fact — I had 
occasion to pay an official visit in the full splendour 
of uniform to a Chinese man-of-war. As I stepped 
majestically on to the quarter-deck, the quartermaster 
saluted fiercely; but I thought I recognised his face, 
and even detected the ghost of a wink in his eye. Sure 
enough, it was the murdered man, who, seeing there 
was nothing to be got by shamming, had gone quietly 
back to his work. I spoke to the commander about 
it, and I think it turned out that he had got sick 
leave (to attend the trial). The captain did not view 
the matter at all seriously — neither did I — and thought 
him a very smart man : in fact, I think he had 
originally obtained his billet on account of his warlike 
courage in defeating, during a scrimmage, a boatful of 
Spaniards, as he swam unarmed in the water. 



THE PIRACY OF THE NAMOA. 

One evening I received a request from one of our 
most charming residents to " step over for a moment." 
She said : ** What do you say to this ? " 

The telegram ran : " Namoa attacked by pirates. I 
am safe and unhurt. — Jack." 

I replied : " I should be inclined to say * Bar sells ! ' 
But, in any case, I would go comfortably to sleep and 



138 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

think nothing more about him. If it is a practical joke, 
he will thus get no * rise ' out of you ; and if it is true, 
why, he says he is safe." 

Such was the responsum prudentisy and it was also the 
sensible view Mrs. Saunders decided to take. (Should 
this ever meet the gallant captain's eye, I beg to inform 
him that there was no particular excitement about him.) 

But next day precise news came from Hongkong of 
a horrible tragedy at sea When the brave Captain 
Pocock and his passengers were sitting down to dinner 
in the saloon, a pistol was fired at them through the 
skylight, and from the alarms and excursions, the 
yelling and miscellaneous potting which ensued, it was 
evident that some of the Chinese "passengers " had risen, 
— quite an old game in the Far East. Record speed 
was shown in getting into the closed cabins, from the 
door-chinks of which full many an eye took cautious 
stock of events. The pirates, not knowing how many 
firearms were below (there were none), offered to parley, 
and said that if the captain went up the stairs alone 
they would not harm any one. Captain Pocock did so, 
and was at once shot dead. 

To cut a long story short, the pirates plundered all the 
Chinese passengers first ; took away the ship's treasure, 
or whatever miscellaneous property they could carry off ; 
and gradually worked the helpless officers and European 
passengers one by one into a chart-room or cabin on 
deck. All the white men on board were run into this 
tiny room, the thermometer standing at about 



"BANISH PLUMP JACK?" 139 

140'' in the sun, door locked, all windows closed, 
Captain Saunders — hero of many scrimmages — amongst 
them ; instant death to follow the slightest resistance ; 
and a general feeling that they might ultimately be 
burnt alive in this Black Hole. 

By and by, a pirate came to relieve the party of 
their jewels and portable property : this was done with 
comparative politeness. Now, it so happened that 
Captain Saunders, like Shakespeare's justice, was a 
man (and a worthy man). 

In fair round belly, with good capon lined ; 

and the gracefully curved outline of his middle person 
was such that if his gold watch could be thrust into 
his breeches pocket, and forced down (no easy matter) 
into the loose abyss below, it became invisible to the 
naked or untutored eye, and at once merged, so to 
speak, into his natural anatomy. Accordingly, " Jack " 
(for it was he), having achieved this conjuring feat in 
secret, boldly presented his portly form to the pirate, 
emptied his waistcoat fobs and other visible pockets of 
a few trifles, took off his rings, and fiercely slapped his 
apparently voided trousers pockets, in order to show 
how empty they were. Like that of his equally 
celebrated namesake in the play, "valiant Jack's" 
face always convinced you at once : a mere look, 
therefore, was enough for the pirate. 

I learnt all this from Captain Saunders himself, 
whose blood-curdling narrative, moreover, was delivered 



I40 PIRACIES AND MURDERS 

before me at Pagoda Anchorage (during refreshments) 
in the presence of his most amiable wife ; so that there 
is no mistake about it How the pirates left with their 
booty ; how the steamer got to Hongkong ; how the 
villains were caught and decapitated ; — these are mere 
newspaper details, which any one can read : my sole 
point is the gold watch. Captain Jack was too many, 
even for the Chinese pirate who had him "cabined, 
cribbed, confined." 

MURDER WILL OUT 

On my arrival in Bhamo in 1892, almost the first 
piece of news I received through my writer from across 
the China frontiers was that a soldier had murdered 
one of his officers and escaped to Burma. The British 
executive at Rangoon was accordingly notified that 
it was almost certain his extradition would be applied 
for. Meanwhile the writer was returning to China by 
sea on a year's leave, and I engaged as substitute 
a man who had been employed in that capacity by 
the Shan chief of Matin — a contested piece of frontier 
territory. It so happened that this new writer had 
once met the murderer, and was acquainted with his 
features. 

I heard nothing more of the matter for over six 
months, when I was "on tour" in Tennasserim. 
A bundle of Chinese despatches from China was there 
delivered to me, one of which was from the Viceroy 
Wang W^n-shao, asking for the surrender of the 



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I THANK THEE FOR THY CONFIDENCES 141 

assassin. Under these circumstances I telegraphed 
instructions to the writer to place himself at the dis- 
posal of the deputy-commissioner. When, a month 
later, I returned to Bhamo, I learnt that my t^ing-ch^ai 
(official messenger) had been impounded by mistake 
for the writer, and had gone to the Ruby Mines, 
where the murderer was reported to be lurking. In 
a few days the t^ing-ch^ai returned, attired in a new 
suit of clothes, with the following story : 

"On receiving my instructions he had at once 
offered his services, and at the suggestion of the 
British authorities he had proceeded down the 
Irrawaddy to Mal6, and there fitted himself out with 
some mules laden with cotton with which to proceed 
to Mogdk, disguised as a merchant. On the second 
day he was attacked by some dacoits, plundered of his 
small caravan, and stripped of everything he possessed 
but his jacket and trousers. In this plight he tramped 
the rest of the way, arriving in about a week, footsore 
and hungry, at his destination. At a small inn he 
met a Chinaman, who, learning that he had come 
from Bhamo, and mistaking him for a fellow-refugee, 
at once expressed his satisfaction. He said : ' You are 
the very man I want. The fact is, I murdered my 
officer last spring, and I have every reason to believe 
that application is being made for my extradition.' 
He then proceeded to relate the whole circumstances 
in minute detail. The t^ing-ch^ai^ without showing 
any emotion, took the first opportunity to visit the 



142 



PIRACIES AND MURDERS 



deputy-commissioner, who, on hearing this unexpected 
story, at once had the man arrested." 

The Ving-ch^aiy it seems, first gave his evidence, and 
then returned to Bhamo to put in a claim for his 
pecuniary losses, which were not liquidated without 
some little difficulty and criticism. 

A few weeks later I was taking my morning tea 
on the verandah, when I saw a couple of Burmese 
soldiers marching towards the frontier at Nampaung, 
strongly armed : 

And Eugene Aram walked between, 
With gyves upon his wrist 

He was executed at Momein. 



CHAPTER VII 
FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

THE GOVERNMENT AND THE PICKPOCKET 

DURING part of 1871 McLeavy Brown and myself 
were jointly engaged in the work of the Chinese 
secretariat, and to assist us in our duties there were 
" Old T'ien," whom we used to call " the Joss," (as his 
services were only required for particularly involuted 
phraseology,) and " Old Lew," who did the solid 
writing, assisted by a couple of spotty-faced, giggling 
young scribes whose work did not come under our 
individual notice. One morning Old Lew came in, 
flushed with indignant excitement, to say that he 
had been robbed of his spectacles by a fob-snipper 
(= pickpocket, but the Chinese hang their various 
purses, pouchesi and cases to the belt), and wished 
the Foreign Office to be informed at once. This 
seemed rather a large order, but we sent him in 
to interview Sir Thomas (then Mr.) Wade himself, 
feeling on our own part much like a couple of school- 
boys who despatch a greenhorn into a fierce grocer, in 
order to enquire the price of pigeon's milk or strap- 

243 



144 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

oil. To our surprise he succeeded in his mission, 
having explained to the Minister's satisfaction that it 
was customary with all " genuine " thieves to take 
their plunder to the Captain-General's yamin for 
three days, so that, in case any person of influence 
should complain, it might be rescued from the hotch- 
pot, in which the police shared. Accordingly, a note 
was sent in to His Imperial Highness, Prince Kung 
" and others," couched much as follows : 

"H.M. Minister has received a petition from his 
writer Lew to the effect that at nine o'clock this 
morning, as he was passing the Palace Gate near 
Coal Hill to come to his work, a fob-snipper snatched 
hold of his crystal spectacles and made off. H.M. 
Minister opines that violent robberies of this sort 
under the very * wheels of the chariot * cannot possibly 
meet with the toleration of H.E. the Captain-General ; 
moreover, Mr. Lew cannot do his work without those 
spectacles ; and he therefore begs that the Prince and 
Ministers will kindly bring the matter to the notice of 
the high functionary named. He takes this opportunity 
to renew the assurances of his highest consideration." 

McLeavy Brown and I lost no opportunity during 
the day in " chaffing " Old Lew, who, however, adopted 
a " he-laughs-best-who-laughs-last " attitude, and nodded 
or snorted defiantly, as much as to say : " A time 
will come." Sure enough that very evening, or the 
next morning, a note arrived from the Tsung-li Yamin 
running somewhat in this fashion : 



OLD LEW GOT HIS SPECTACLES 14S 

**They who respectfully open out in reply, beg 
to state that they have received etc., etc. That in 
broad daylight a fob-snipper should extend his gall 
to such dimensions as to snatch the spectacles of 
H.M. Minister's writer is indeed a practice which 
cannot be allowed to grow. Exclusively of having 
sent on the petition to H.E. the Captain-General of 
the Nine Gates, requesting him to instruct the division, 
to command the etc., etc., one and all to dia (enquire) 

and to ts^wei (hurry) [everybody everywhere] Just 

as these lines were being written, lo and behold ! a 
note is received from the Captain-General, stating that 
one of his gendarmes had found a pair of spectacles 
on the ground, and had honestly brought them to 
the office, etc., etc." 

In concocting their little stories, the Chinese nearly 
always manage to leave something out : in this case, I 
think it was, they omitted to say why the Captain- 
General had spontaneously sent to the Foreign Office. 
I forget exactly how it was put, but the principle 
is there in any case, and the letter is on record too 
(unless the " Boxers " burnt it) ; so that it is immaterial 
what particular form of make-believe was employed. 
Old Lew got his spectacles, whilst Brown and I 
accepted a second place in knowledge of mankind. 

THE DISHONEST POSTMAN 

In the old Canton days the post-office was in the 
Consulate (as perhaps it is now), and I was for some 

10 



146 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

time "postman." There was a very steady Hakka 
Chinese employed as stamper and carrier, and no 
complaint whatever had at any time been made 
against him. The Hakkas (= guest-families, or 
immigrants) may be compared to Celts living amongst 
Saxons in Lancashire ; and they are, moreover, dis- 
tinguished amongst Chinese for their clannishness and 
bodily cleanliness. 

One hot summer day I happened to take by 
the top handle the box in which I locked my current 
stamps, and to my surprise the glue had so softened 
with the heat that I found no difficulty in tearing the 
upper slab off the remaining framework of the lid. 
Of course it at once occurred to me : "It would be 
easy for any one knowing this to steal my stamps," 
and I resolved not to keep many there in future. 
Just then, in walked the carrier : " Mr. X., the French 
watchmaker, asks you to stamp this local letter, 
and give him change out of a thirty-cent stamp." 

I had often obliged people in this way before, and 
under ordinary circumstances would have done so 
again, without further parley. However, in this instance, 
it occurred to me to write to the Frenchman, who at 
once replied that he had given his own man the 
requisite postage in silver. Here, then, was a probable 
case of theft ; but how bring it home ? 

Luckily, it was near the beginning of the month, 
and I had "balanced" the safe. I had no idea how 
many stamps I had removed from the safe to the box ; 



.^ 



CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE 147 

but, by cudgelling my brains, I could recall nearly all 
I had sold during four or five days. This operation 
left a discrepancy of three thirty-cent and twelve 
eight-cent stamps short, for certain : there were others : 
total, $4*65. I sent for the stamper, and said simply : 
" Mr. X. says he never gave you a thirty -cent stamp. 
Look at this lid : I miss $4*65. Give me these missing 
stamps back at once, or leave in five minutes." 

The man gave me one agonised look, walked to 
his bundle, took out from his purse the stamps (less 
the one thirty-cent label), and handed them to me. 

I then said : " Write as I dictate : 'I, A-k^m, have 
been post-clerk for many years at H.M. Consulate, 
and the officer in charge has always treated me kindly. 
Unhappily I have yielded to temptation, and stolen 
$4*65. Instead of sending me in to the Namhoi 
magistrate, Mr. Parker has graciously made me write 
this in my own handwriting.* " 

This was, of course, written in Chinese. Nothing 
further was said, and he went about his work fault- 
lessly as usual. When New Year's time came, the 
employes were sent for to receive their official " Christmas 
boxes" from me as cashier. A-kem*s present was 
the paper he had signed, and I never had further 
occasion to suspect him. But, on my return to 
Canton two years later, I heard that he had once 
more been either found guilty or suspected of dis- 
honesty, and had been dismissed ; — I hope on proper 
evidence. 



148 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

THE THIEF ON THE ROOF 

Despite the well-known hospitality of the British 
merchant princes, during the second stay I lived most 
of my time at Canton in the old yatfien within the 
walls ; but even when I did not live inside the city, 
I still varied the charms of European society with 
an occasional night of purely Chinese life. One day 
I was staying at a small half-Chinese house near 
the old "Thirteen Hong" site, and just as I was 
dozing off to sleep I heard a rustling noise near, and 
then distinguished the shrill cry of A-sh^m (= aunty), 
the charwoman, calling to some one. The conversation, 
translated into corresponding English style, was much 
as follows : " Get along out o' that, you blackguard ! " 
(Whispers, apparently on the roof.) "The master is 
here too, so you'd better clear out." 

Many readers will imagine that my embarrassment 
resembled that of Mr. Pickwick when, on hearing a 
noise in his bedroom, he put his head out of the 
curtains and discovered an elderly maiden doing up 
her back hair. A-shem's place was clearly in the 
scullery, where she had a shakedown, and not in the 
attic However, I was not particularly embarrassed, 
and shouted out : " A-sh^m, ah ! " 

" Yes, sir." 

"Who's that youVe talking to?" 

" It's only Tim, the thief, sir. It's all right ; he 
won't come again to-night." 



WATCHMAN, SPARE THAT THIEF! 149 

A-shfem did not seem inclined to be communicative 
as I passed through the "Chinese quarter" below on 
my way out of the house the next morning ; but when 
I got home to my "teacher," who always turned up 
at 5 a.m. for conversation, I asked him : " I was 
staying with A-ng^n at the Thirteen Hongs last 
night, and A-shem said Tim the thief was there. 
Does he belong to the Consulate?" 

" Tim ? " (thoughtfully). " I don't know Tim. What 
else did she say ? " 

" She said : * All right ; he won't come again to- 
night' " 

" Oh ! that's nothing. That's only a common thief, — 
one of the local thieves." 

**But how is it A-shem seems to be on friendly 
terms with him ? " 

"Ha! ha! You don't understand, old sire [= your 
honour]. The municipal discipline of Canton is very 
strict. If a thief comes one night, and finds the 
people on the alert, it is quite an understood thing 
that he is not to try again that night ; and so A-shem, 
anticipating a visit, just went up to the attic when 
she heard a noise to show him that you were all awake 
and about. So long as you do not raise a cry when 
you detect a thief, he will be reasonable with you. 
If you had given him in charge, another night Tim's 
friends might have done a little burglary with violence 
instead of mere thieving." 



ISO FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

AN UNSOLVED MYSTERY 

A-CHAK, usually Anglicised as " Jack," was a Protestant 
Christian employed as copyist in the Canton Consulate : 
he wrote a clear English hand, and had been trained 
in British ways in Guiana, to which place about 
that time a good many Chinese coolies from Canton 
had been sent, to work on the sugar estates there. 
(I made some enquiry into their condition some years 
later at Barbados, in 1894, when I met several 
officials from Guiana.) In fact, under the able supcr- 
intendency of Mr. Theophilus Sampson, the highly 
respected tutor of Manchu youth in Canton, the 
" export " to Guiana, under fair conditions, of coolies 
was just closing when I first reached Canton in 
1874 ; and Judge Smale of Hongkong was then assist- 
ing Sir Brooke Robertson to put a stop to the Macao 
"slave" trade. In 1879 Judge Smale cited from the 
judicial bench certain statements, accepted as correct 
by some of the representative local Chinese, touching 
the real social status of slaves, as explained in a 
modest pamphlet of mine on Comparative Family Law, 
I have no personal experience of slaves, but I take 
this opportunity of casually alluding to the subject 
in order to complete the scope of my book. — Well, 
A-chak was also the consular shipping-clerk, and in 
this capacity he had the temporary charge of certain 
fees, often amounting in one month to several hundred 
dollars. He had always been a quiet, well-behaved 



"HIN 1ST HIN" 151 

man, but there was. a deep, " vested rights," and 
calculating look in his eye which caused me to view 
him with less sympathy than I instinctively extended 
to my "pagan" chair-bearers, coolies, and other 
hangers-on. 

The late Pfere Gaillard, S.J., in his recent valuable 
work on the Opening of China {Nankin Port ouvert\ 
finds fault with Mr. Archibald Little (the husband of 
the self-sacrificing lady who is now engaged in " letting 
out" squeezed female feet) for suspecting Chinese 
Christians: "-J/. Little conseille aux Strangers de ne 
point engager cofunie boys oh dontestiques des Chinois 
convertis " ; but I must say I share the view, though 
not on the same grounds : it is perhaps for the same 
reason that causes Frenchmen to look askance at the 
deputy of the Chambre who masquerades as a Mussul- 
man in Paris. I have the support of Dr. Johnson, 
who, when Boswell asked: "Then, sir, a poor Turk 
must be a Mahometan, just as a poor Englishman 
must be a Christian ? " replied, " Why, yes, sir." How- 
ever that may be, whilst I trusted my pagans, I 
felt no inclination to trust A-chak an inch further 
than I trusted them. 

One day it was suddenly announced to the consul 
that A-chak had been robbed at his own quarters 
of $338*00. I forget exactly how it was stated to 
have happened, but I think it was that he kept the 
fees in a small safe of his own ; and he had a house 
of his own, with wife and family, across the consular 



152 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

creek which divides Shamien from the city, as well 
as apartments in the Consulate on the Shamien island. 
There had recently been a change of consul, and I 
had been requested to quit the old yamin in order 
to make way for him, and had transferred myself to 
the said island ; so that there was a general shaking 
up and reshuffling of servants going on. 

The only piece of real evidence given at the pre- 
liminary enquiry was that some one (a pagan) had 
met A-chak carrying a heavy parcel from his consular 
lodging away to his own house, or at least out of the 
consular back gate. The pagan had said : " How now ? 
What's that?" Jack admitted that he had replied with 
a smile : " A disciple of Robin Hood ! " (of course the 
Chinese Robin Hood). As Sergeant Buzfuz would have 
remarked to a jury : " Gracious Heavens, gentlemen, 
what does this mean? What can this mean?" 

However, we tried the case, which derived an 
additional element of suspicion from the fact that 
Jack applied, during the adjournment, for leave " to 
see his uncle at Fatshan " city (" uncles " in Chinese 
are not pawnbrokers). Mr. Sit, the assistant Namhoi 
magistrate or " sinister hall," was deputed by the high 
authorities and by his senior the " straight hall," whilst I 
was deputed by the consul. Every effort was made in 
joint investigation to arrive at the truth ; but A-chak 
(if guilty) was altogether too clever for us : owing 
to his knowledge of foreign morality and notions of 
truth, law of evidence, etc., he wriggled like an eel out 



"SEEING PELF, IDEAS RISE" 153 

of every corner. In justice to him, I must, however, 
admit the possibility of his innocence : in a Chinese 
court the thumb-screw would have assisted his memory. 
I forget how the money loss was ultimately made 
up. It was not the British Government that lost ; 
I think (but am not certain) that A-chak and his 
" uncle " made good the greater portion ; and I am 
not sure but what the consul paid part himself. 



ANOTHER DISHONEST POSTMAN 

In the old days of Canton we had quite a large postal 
business with coolies in Guiana, San Francisco, Australia, 
and other places under British or quasi-British rule : 
money was often sent from the rustic home to enable 
distressed labourers to return, or for other reasons; 
and it was also forwarded by successful coolies to their 
families. 

Now, as I afterwards learnt at Chungking, where 
I perforce made use of native post-offices exclusively, 
the security of letters containing money is maintained 
in China by writing outside the envelope (like our 
" Haste ! haste ! these presents " of bygone days) such 
words as "Most important; contains gold!" (I may 
take this opportunity to mention that the Chinese 
post-office I used had ramifications in all great -towns 
of the Empire, made no trouble about half-ounces and 
overweight, and to a certain extent acted as insurer 
as well as carrier: it was in every way excellent, 



154 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

alike as to speed, honesty, and promptness.) Well, 
this being the inherited view of safety en route^ it 
was not to be wondered at that the Chinamen of 
Canton, Clearing of the wonderful punctuality of the 
English post-office, should beseech the consul (in whose 
offices the post-office was) to be careful : " Highest 
import ! contains twenty dollars ! The consul great 
man will lovingly beware 1" The Postmaster-General 
at Hongkong took every possible step to caution 
the unsophisticated people about this dangerous 
practice, and exhorted them to register their letters. 
Still, complaints came from Australia that money had 
been sent thence or should have been received there, 
but had never turned up. At last the delinquency was, 
by process of exhaustion, gradually traced to Canton. 

The successor of the post-boy A-k6m, (whose delin- 
quencies have been recorded under another head), 
was a young fellow of nice manners and good coun- 
tenance ; his character was apparently beyond suspicion. 
And yet we all began to see that "he smiled, and 
murdered while he smiled " ; — but only so soon as we 
found he really did murder (ix, thieve). For weeks he 
was watched ; but nothing whatever was sure, except 
that certain letters containing money, known to have 
gone into his box, had never come out of that box, 
although he nominally possessed no key. 

At last the Postmaster-General, the officer in charge 
of the Canton agency, and myself as handy man 
in general, concocted a little scheme. Some one in 



LEGERDEMAIN 155 

^Hongkong, whose name was unknown and whose 
writing was unrecognisable, was made by the Post- 
master-General to direct a good fat letter-cover in some- 
thing after this style : " Reverently submitted to the 
Great English Consul. Run ! run ! take this most hasty 
letter to A-long, son of A-chak the grocer, South Street, 
Adelaide, New Golden Mountains [= Australia]. 
Beware! beware! twenty dollars are within. Alas! 
caution ! " The practice was for the post-office to 
scribble, where possible, a simple English direction for 
practical use on Chinese letters addressed in this curious 
fashion. A man was made to hand this particular 
letter in at Canton, and to get it "signed for" in a 
" chit-book." Then the post-boy demurely submitted it 
to be directed in English ; stamped it with the other 
letters, (the postmaster himself meanwhile seeing that 
it was really locked in the box, by watching pro- 
ceedings through the corner of his eye) ; and off the 
carrier went with his charge to the steamer. 

It was at least half a mile to the wharf, and the 
post-boy had first to emerge from the consular "com- 
pound " ; then traverse a broad, shady road with tall 
grass growing on each side ; next cross a bridge, work 
through a crowd, and finally elbow his way across the 
crowded wharf to the steamer. One or two trusty 
men were posted at intervals, and we ourselves dogged 
the man's steps some distance behind. 

Nothing seemed to occur ; but at a point decided 
upon he was detained and examined. The box was 



IS6 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

still locked ; but this particular cover had gone : he 
was searched, and the grass was searched ; the torn 
letter-cover was picked up from the grass, but no trace 
whatever of a key or of the bogus contents could be 
found. 

Still, it was manifestly impossible to employ him 
again as post-boy, or to overlook the incident in itself. 
At the direction of the consul a joint enquiry, or trial, 
was held by a Chinese sub-magistrate who understood 
European ways, and by myself. So far as I remember, 
there was no evidence whatever upon which to convict 
under English forms of law. The man's defence was 
simple and effective : " You say you put it there ; but 
who supports you ? Who has lost the money, if there 
was money?" However, Chinese law is not English 
law, and the man was sentenced to the punishment 
of wearing the wooden collar. 

A few years later I ventured to post an unregistered 
a letter from Pagoda Island to Hongkong with four 
dollar notes inside it. They never reached their 
destination ; and the only consolation I got from the 
Postmaster-General was : " It serves you right : some 
Chinaman has the money, and you have the experi- 



ence." 



THE HEAD THIEF 

I ARRIVED at Chungking on Christmas Day, 1880, 
after a month's experiences of a k^wa-tsz (= passenger- 
boat), and long daily walks on the beautiful banks. 



BLACK CARE 157 

I was now in the heart of Sz Ch'vvan, and it was 
depressing to find myself pent up within the narrow 
walls of a rock town, from which there was no 
possible exit except through one or two narrow 
gates. Well I remember my Christmas cheer of eggs 
and bacon, with heavy bread of ** scratch " manufacture, 
eaten from the end of a barrel which served me as table. 
The light was dismal ; the room dark and full of rats ; 
in the attempt to destroy which I poisoned my dog 
and only companion almost the very first day. The 
writer and official servants came to assure me of 
their loyalty ; but it seemed to me, in my imaginative 
solitude, that covetousness and self-interest were stamped 
on all their unfamiliar faces. The local people are mild, 
but very snaky in their ways. 

The writer was a Christian and a Roman Catholic 
a circumstance which certainly rendered him a more 
efficient instrument for political purposes, but which in 
no way inspired me with extra confidence in his honesty 
of mind. It was not many hours before I had an 
opportunity to test his " local " ways of thinking. A 
smart visiting-card was handed to me after my frugal 
repast ; but, as I did not feel at all like " receiving," 
I sent word to "call again," or to "stay the chariot" 
(= not at home). The "boy" came in holding the 
card once more, with the surprising statement that 
the "head thief" wished to see me. The writer, by 
origin an importation from Yiin Nan, was at once 
sent for, and he promptly explained to me what 



iS8 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

a respectable man the head thief was. For the con- 
sideration of one dollar a month's subscription, my 
predecessor had always been exempt from robbery, 
and on the whole the writer thought I had better 
close with the man at once. Of course there was no 
threat ; it was only ancient local custom, as with the 
" King of the Beggars " : probably I should never be 
robbed in any case ; certainly not in such a well- 
built house (the writer's building speculation) as the 
one to which he hoped I would soon remove, and 
where perhaps the subscription would be unnecessary. 

" Does the man wish to see me ? " 

" He has come in his coat and hat of ceremony ; 
but, if the old sire likes, I will arrange with him." 

And so it was. For one Mexican dollar a month 
I was guaranteed immunity, and, as I intended to 
travel about for months at a time, I was not sorry 
to obtain this security for my property. 

The writer in question was the same man who 
accompanied the brilliant Mr. E. C. Baber on his 
extensive travels in the Tibetan and Lolo Highlands, 
and he was certainly a very faithful employ^ \ moreover, 
his new house was so constructed that, in case of riot, 
refuge might be taken in a sort of fortress behind, in 
which he and his wife lived. I had one occasion actually 
to use it, as already related ; and therefore I may 
say in a measure that he once assisted in saving my 
life, for which I am properly grateful. But I never 
quite trusted him, for I could not help feeling, as a 



DIVES AND LAZARUS 159 

non-Catholic, that his conscience was too much in 
the power of the French priests ; who, again, were 
always exceedingly good to me ; but whose views on 
the subject of human nature and of " evil " it was and 
is quite impossible for me to share. 

I may mention that the " King of the Beggars '* 
above-mentioned is always prepared in most large 
Chinese towns to guarantee (according to subscription 
paid) either that no '* asker" will come at all, or that one 
copper cash per diein only need be given for each full 
ten minutes every beggar is kept howling. If no 
arrangement at all be made, the mendicant bangs 
gridirons and howls incessantly until he is bought oflF 
personally and individually: this often leads to alter- 
cations, " rows," and false charges, for the beggar will 
die on your door-step "as soon as look at you," even 
leaving written "evidence" behind. 



WHO STEALS MY PURSE STEALS TRASH 

I CAN only remember having once been robbed in 
China, and that was under singular conditions. I 
had arrived at a filthy inn in a bleak, isolated spot, 
and was shown into a wretched mud " division " of 
the usual type, with ill-fitting door, dilapidated lath- 
and-plaster walls, rickety ceiling, suggestive of snakes 
and spiders, and the hotel bucket in close proximity. 
This last utensil is a purely Chinese economical institu- 
tion, and I will only say of it (guardedly and indirectly) 



i6o FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

what a respected Cheshire relative of mine once said 
in my hearing of certain defective farm arrangements : 
"'Tain't like good sound moock, Jim; I call that a 
downright stink." To crown all, eyes were peering at 
me through various holes. 

'* Boy ! " 

''Dja!'' ("Yes, sir"). 

" Bring out two tea-tables, and put them together 
in the open." 

The " open " is the " common " part of the one huge 
room of which such rustic inns consist, around which the 
tiny divisions for sleeping, storing, etc., are ranged ; 
it is the sitting-, smoking-, and eating-room, ** lavatory," 
etc., of all guests and hosts ; including pigs, fowls, and 
dogs. Every one having gone to bed, or to kennel, 
I kicked a few porkers aside, ranged the tables, made 
my air-bed on them, and utilised my small valise 
(containing lumps of silver, papers, etc.) as a pillow, 
slipping my fur-lined dressing-gown round it in such 
a way that I both lay on it and had my head on it ; 
the heavy baggage trunk formed a " wall " for the feet. 
No doubt many curious eyes watched this proceeding 
through the dim light of the filthy rush-pot. I then 
blew out the rush, put my big stick outside the blankets, 
and was fast asleep at once. 

After some time I woke, dead tired, and thought 
I heard some one creeping near me ; with a lunge 
of my stick I hit some one (it might have been a pig), 
and thought I heard a faint " Ai-ya ! " Apparently 



« HIS WARMEST WELCOME AT AN INN " i6i 

I dropped off again instantly ; but after an hour or 
so I again awoke uneasily with cold feet and a 
sensation of swaying about Feeling instinctively for 
the valise, I was puzzled not to feel the astrachan 
dressing-gown. It was pitch dark. " Boy ! " I shouted. 
A smothered reply came from one of the bins. " Light 
the lamps at once : call the landlord. I've had my 
black fur stolen." Nothing frightens Chinamen more 
than the angry objurgations of a foreigner in his own 
language. 

The landlord and the *'boy" soon came up, half 
awake, shuffling on their sheepskins ; and lit the rush 
lamps. Some one had got under one table, shifted 
me, and carried off the fur coat I suppose they 
must have drugged me, as they are experts at that 
art; (they use a sort of powder scattered over the 
victim's face). '* Are you the landlord ? Then bring 
me paper, inkstand, and brush." 

The chairman and coolies were all roused up 
(3 a.m.), and ordered to prepare their tea and start at 
once. The landlord was given the option of handing 
over the garment or about fifty-three taels in five 
minutes; third alternative not stated. Meanwhile, I 
was writing the following letter to the governor (c/tou) of 
the nearest city ; but, as I spent no time in arguing, 
the "alternative" was silently braved by the obdurate 
and calmly calculating landlord. The bill (about one 
shilling for the fourteen of us) was paid, and off we went, 
silently tramping for two hours in the raw morning 

II 



i62 FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK 

darkness. My t'ing-cft'ai went a few miles round to 
cany the missive. The letter simply stated the above 
facts, and wound up : " According to Chinese law, the 
landlord is responsible for the value of things robbed 
from guests in his house. In any case, I was under 
the escort of two of your police, who slept, or should 
have slept, in the inn. I shall be in Chungking in 
three days, and unless I find the dressing-gown or 
fifty-three taels there on my arrival, you must be 
prepared to take the further consequences." 

Discussion was lively amongst my men along the 
road as to whether the landlord was privy to the theft 
or not ; whether, in any case, he was a guilty receiver or 
not ; whether the c/iou's police would make him disgorge 
and pay if he had it, or pay without disgorging if he 
hadn't it ; and whether the c/iou himself would not 
like to keep such a splendid astrachan for himself. 
To me this was a purely academical discussion, for I 
felt sure the c/tou would pay in money, whether he got 
the coat or not. 

I found the money on my arrival at Chungking ; 
but Chang-£rh shook his head and said : " After all, 
you are a few taels to the bad, for you omitted to 
consider the cost of bringing a heavy coat up the rapids 
all the way from Shanghai," 



CHAPTER VIII 
VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

LI HUNG-CHANG 

MY first business interview with this celebrated 
statesman was in April, 1872, when, with the 
consent of Sir Thomas (then Mr.) Wade, I unofficially 
accompanied the late Mr. Ney Elias to the vice-regal 
yaniin at Tientsin, in order to propose to Li Hung- 
chang the surveying of the old Yellow River bedi 
with a view to reconducting it to the sea by way 
of the Hwai valley; or preferably, as an alternative, 
to deepening the scour of the present channel, and 
altering the slope of the "free-sides," so as to form 
natural reservoirs. 

The impression left upon both .of us by Li 
Hung-chang was not so favourable as his even then 
great reputation had led us to expect it would be. 
He seemed quite familiar with the Yellow River 
country in an empirical sense, but it was not very 
easy to rivet his attention upon the charts offered 
for his inspection, or to nail him down to any 
definite set of ideas. He manifestly considered 

X63 



i64 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

Chinese engineering good enough, but did not mind 
foreigners trying a hand at their own expense and 
risk. He seemed to think that Mr. Elias, (who was 
an enthusiast of the most disinterested kind, and bent 
solely upon making a distinguished name for himself 
in the world by doing something permanently useful,) 
was a mere adventurer or money-grubber, trying to 
lead China into a morass of unlimited expenditure, in 
order to make a large profit for himself. He was much 
more inclined to " talk politics " than to stick to the 
subject of the day, and in doing so he often dis- 
played a childish impatience and petulance. His 
manner was much too familiar. 

He said, amongst other things : " You English are 
always boasting that India belongs to you ; but the 
French have settlements here and here " (pointing), 
"and the Portuguese there. Why don't you turn 
them out?" 

I replied : " The Manchu dynasty is rightly con- 
sidered to be in possession of the Eighteen Provinces ; 
but the British have a settlement in Hongkong. Why 
don't you turn us out?" 

This reply was duly reported officially to the British 
Minister, who, whilst approving in general terms of 
the interview officially, wrote to me privately somewhat 
as follows: "We should be careful as young men, 
especially with such a man as Li, not to say anything 
likely to appear in the light of flippancy to high 
" Chinese officers." No doubt the snub was deserved. 



"FICKLE AS A CHANGEFUL DREAM" 165 

Some months previously to this Sir Thomas Wade 
had sent me unofficially, with Mr. Thomson, the corres- 
pondent of The Illustrated London News^ in order, if 
possible, to take Li's photograph, one (the smaller) of 
which was reproduced by Tlu Strand Magazine when 
he visited England in 1896. On this occasion also the 
Viceroy displayed indelicate manners, which contrasted 
unfavourably even with those of some of the high 
Peking officials, and notably with those of all viceroys 
and governors subsequently met in the provinces : 
his own half-brother, Li Han-chang, though reported 
to be a heavy ** squeeze," was most courteous in his 
deportment. Sir Thomas Wade later on sent as a 
present to Li Hung-chang a handsome album con- 
taining all the important photographs taken by Mr. 
Thomson up to date. Li now rapidly turned the leaves 
pettishly over, and remarked : " The book is not full ; 
how is it I do not get more ? Are you cheating me ? " 

When I was there with Mr. Thomson he suddenly 
asked us " what rewards we expected ? " — a question 
which at once made me flare up. I said : " I would 
not accept any reward for myself, nor would the 
Minister allow me to think of it He sent Mr. 
Thomson to you to exhibit a novel art, hoping 
that, having seen what foreign photographs were 
like, you would consent to have yours taken, and 
present him with one; and he sent me to explain 
matters." 

Li then began to consult me as to what he should 



i66 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

give Mr. Thomson, and made me ask him what he 
wanted. Mr. Thomson had not the same reasons 
that I had for "purity," but he also declined to 
accept money; and finally it was arranged that the 
two pieces of silk offered should be given to him 
alone. I felt rather disgusted with and ashamed of the 
whole business, in which Li appeared to me to be sordid 
and mesquin. On that occasion, I remember, he stated 
his age at exactly the same figure as Sir Thomas 
Wade's ; that, I think, would make him eighty-one 
now. As a matter of fact, he was born in 1823, 
which, according to Chinese computation, would mean 
only seventy-nine. 



THE GOVERNOR HU YING-HUNG 

Within the past thirty years I cannot remember more 
than a single instance of a Cantonese being a viceroy, 
and that was the case of a certain Ho King, for many 
years at Foochow, (native of a trading place in the delta 
below Canton, called Siao-lan,) nor can I recollect more 
than one Cantonese governor besides the one now under 
notice. I suppose the explanation is the same as in 
the case of Sz Ch'wan : the energy and fulness of the 
provincial life provides better outlets than the " mandarin 
trade." Governor Hu (of Cheh Kiang and Kiang Su) 
was only a taotai when I knew him ; that is, the lowest 
in grade of what may be called the political or 
diplomatic class, ranking by treaty with consuls and 



*'THE CUPS THAT CHEER" 167 

commissioners of customs, who, in China, are both of 
them much more considerable personages than their 
colleagues of Europe or India. He was customs 
taotai of Kewkiang, and inclined to be remarkably 
friendly with strangers. 

Chinese mandarins have to be very chary how 
they hobnob with their own countrymen of the 
non-official classes ; there is no objection to their giving 
** jambarees," or ** drunks," in their own ya7Hins^ where 
no one outside is any the wiser ; but it comes very 
near being an official offence to accept invitations 
from rich money-lenders or merchants. However, old 
Hii was a most genial character, and the Cantonese 
traders of Kewkiang, who were rather proud of him, 
once induced him to take the chair at a " foreign " 
dinner given by themselves, to which I and the Com- 
missioner of Customs, Mr. Kopsch, were invited ; when 
foreigners take part in such entertainments, it can 
always be pleaded that " it was for purposes of inter- 
national diplomacy," or "in order to conciliate the 
barbarian," and "compel him to conform to our 
principles." Sobriety is so universal in China that it 
is not only not considered a vice to get drunk at a 
dinner, but it is positively held to be a compliment 
to the host to be, or at least pretend to be, a little 
tipsy. This, to our ideas, somewhat uncleanly way of 
looking at things is on a par with "complimentary 
eructation." Well-bred Chinamen are certainly not so 
coarse as actually to revel in this luxury, but it is a 



168 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

graceful way of acknowledging exuberant hospitality to 
indulge in it a little. These little social eccentricities 
must not be judged too severely by countries where 
beastly intoxication in the public streets is a daily 
spectacle. 

Some time after this my successor gave a grand 
complimentary dinner, to which good old Hu was 
invited : on this occasion he got downright drunk, and 
fell head foremost into one of those huge-necked 
American objects — almost unknown in Europe— called 
cuspidores — i.e. tall spittoons with a broad mouth, some- 
thing like a tea-taster's or dentist's furniture. He had 
to be bodily carried to his sedan-chair by his attendants, 
quite unconscious. He was an easy-going man, of 
no great governing capacity, and never " made his 
mark " ; but the portrait which he gave me affords an 
excellent idea of a rather refined mandarin in full 
visiting costume. His is positively the only instance 
I ever came across, during my quarter of a century of 
residence among them, of a Chinaman being dead drunk. 

At W^nchow, where all the officials were remarkably 
friendly, mixed dinners were quite an ordinary occur- 
rence. The usual foreign guests were myself and the 
commissioner (who has now resumed in Turkey his 
proper title, Comte de Limf^es). To these reunions 
the consular and customs writers were invited, and 
"tipsiness" was supposed to come on at the hwa- 
k'uan stage, — corresponding to our " pass round the 
port." This word means " fist-cracking " or " fiat- 



"LIKE NIOBE, ALL TEARS" 169 

shouting," and is simply the Italian mora (known also 
in ancient Egypt), adapted during its antediluvian 
growth to Chinese ways. 

THE VICEROY JWEILIN 

Amongst the reactionary officials who incurred the 
displeasure of the Emperor, and after that unhappy 
monarch's deposition attached himself to the " Boxer " 
element, was Hwaitapu, formerly President of the 
Board of Rites, by decree of October 4, 1900, appointed 
successor to Prince Twan. He followed the Empress to 
Si-an Fu, and there once more for a short time held his 
old title ; but he seems to have died or committed 
suicide early in the year 1901. Few persons in China 
are aware that he was the eldest son of Jweilin, for 
the Manchu and Mongol custom of disguising personal 
names under fanciful Chinese forms leaves no family 
clue to the outsider. When his father died in 1874, 
it was he who, as eldest son, sent out invitation cards 
(*' weeping blood") to personal friends, of whom the 
late Sir Brooke Robertson was one. That excellent 
old consul had long been on terms of touching con- 
fidence with Jweilin, who was a fine, courteous old 
gentleman of the best bannerman type ; and Hwaitapu 
received him and his interpreter (now a retired consul, 
Mr. C. Gardner, C.M.G.) at the coffin head. It was at 
first a question whether they should " set up a wail " 
in Chinese style ; but a compromise was effected, and 
they simply bowed silently to the coffin. 



I70 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

Jweilin's career is interesting on account of his 
supposed complicity in Captain Brabazon's murder: 
in the French Yellow Book Baron Gros distinctly 
charges him, on the authority of another high Chinese 
official, with that cowardly crime. It seems not un- 
likely that the charge is true, for on the seventh day 
of the seventh moon (middle of August, i860) he was 
ordered with five thousand troops " again to take up " 
a position at T'ungchow, and he shared in the defeat 
of Palik'iao (= Three-mile Bridge), which place gave 
the Comte de Palikao his title. Such a murder would 
be quite within the Chinese ideas of war, which 
are not chivalrous. 

Jweilin's official career began in 1848, after which 
year he held various positions in the Peking Boards. 
In 1858 he detained sixty tons of foreign copper 
coming from Ningpo for the Mint, in order to make 
cannon for the troops under his command around 
T'ungchow, and he also busied himself with re- 
organising the "navy" and the remount service. For 
a short time he seems to have held the acting post 
of Chih Li Viceroy; but between 1858 and i860 he 
was employed on other miscellaneous work, such as 
repairing river courses, sacrificing to Confucius, etc. 
His failures, first against the Allies, and later against 
the Shan Tung rebels, led to his degradation ; but 
on the death of the Emperor Hien Feng he became 
Military Governor of J^hol ; two years afterwards 
Tartar General, and at last Viceroy at Canton, where 



"ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE" 171 

he died on September 20, 1874, as above related. 
His reputation amongst the Cantonese for purity 
was not very high ; but his rule was competent, 
and he kept his provinces tranquil. He never would 
consent to introduce transit-passes, and in this policy 
he was firmly supported by his steadfast friend Sir 
Brooke Robertson, with whom his relations were always 
of the most sympathetic and mutually respecting 
kind. He belonged, like the veteran Wensiang, to the 
courteous old school, and we shall probably never see 
his like again in China. 



THE VICEROY YINGHAN 

When an officer comes from audience with the 
Emperor, no matter what his rank, all the high 
officials have to go in state to meet him ; and until 
this ceremony is over he is, like our ** ambassadors," 
part of his "august master." At Canton, where 
every one must arrive by boat or steamer, the 
receiving-place is the tsip-ktin-f eng {chie-kwan-f ing) — 
a dowdy old river wharf, something in the old 
Blackfriars or Adelphi style. The new arrival steps 
out of his boat in full dress, with that haughty 
swagger which comes so natural to all Chinese 
officials, and sees the Tartar General, Viceroy, 
Governor, Hoppo, Treasurer, Judge, etc., etc., all on 
their knees before him, " craving to know the health." 
The ambassador (for such he is, and is called, by 



172 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

courtesy, for the moment) says : ** Te-chU : cltin-any 
The first pair of syllables is supposed to be imitation 
Manchu for " Arise ! " The second means in Chinese 
^^ Nos valemusP After a cup of tea in the mat-shed, 
and pipes all round, the officials '^ resume their rank." 

Yinghan was a fine, jolly Manchu, whose face I 
seem to remember, though I never spoke to him. He 
had acquitted himself passably (which in China for 
a Manchu means " well ") as Governor of Ho Nan ; and, 
on Jweilin's death, was appointed Viceroy at Canton. 
Sir Thomas Wade, always anxious for " progress," tried 
to get the Chinese Foreign Office to make him call on 
the Governor of Hongkong ; but the wary old rogues 
replied : " We have no information as to what route 
His Excellency Ying will take on his way to Canton." 
(I am not supposed to know what went on, during 
my absence, in Peking ; but I did, and do.) Yinghan, 
of course, ignored the English Governor, and came 
down with a great flourish of trumpets to Canton. 
His chief luggage was about fifty hogsheads of good 
samshu^ for he evidently looked forward to many a 
glorious "booze" in this Manzi land. He even had 
(as my old French schoolmaster used to say) " the 
chick " to issue a proclamation, jointly with the Tartar 
General, saying how the Emperor had sent him to 
"overawe this vian-tsz land." 

The day after his arrival he learnt, to his horror, 
that Sir Brooke Robertson lived within a stone's 
throw of him, in the "first-floor back" of the 



"THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT" 173 

Tartar Generars yanUn ; and that " olo custom " at 
Canton put viceroys on equality of visiting terms 
with consuls : this of course dated from the time 
when the Viceroy Yeh was "collared" by the pigtail 
in his own yantin^ and shipped off to Calcutta. He 
therefore had a " try on " in good old Chinese style. 
He sent a verbal message to say "he had heard 
excellent opinions of Sir Brooke, but he could not 
open the centre door when the consul called, and 
thought it best to say so in advance." Sir Brooke 
replied, also verbally : " Then tell him I won't visit 
him at all. No side doors for me." The matter 
was soon arranged, and all went on pleasantly. They 
even got to like each other. 

Now it so happened that, after Jweilin's death, 
the celebrated waising lottery had been abolished, 
even at the risk of allowing the Portuguese at 
Macao, who had no scruples about "ruining Chinese 
morality," to run it themselves, (as they did, to my 
" boy's " delight,) and to make the money. This was 
a real instance of China trying to reform her wicked 
ways. But when Yinghan got fairly settled down to his 
liquor, and found the gambling bribes he had always 
expected to clutch at Canton quite newly abolished, he 
waxed wroth within him, and presumed on his Manchu 
status to reopen the lottery on his own responsibility. 
Now occurred one of those rare but dramatic events 
which show that even in China two good men may 
save Sodom and Gomorrah from destruction. The 



174 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

Tartar General Ch'angshan and the Chinese Governor 
Chang Chao-tung (not to be confused with the more 
illustrious Chang ChT-tung) joined in "impeaching" 
Yinghan, who was at once removed, and spent the rest 
of his career in obscure posts on the Russian frontier. 
This was a good inauguration for Kwang-su's reign. 

I was away in England when this tragedy occurred ; 
but my ears were in Canton all the same. Sir Brooke, 
in reporting the matter to his superiors, related 
feelingly how nobly Yinghan took his degradation. 
In such cases Chinese " form '* is admirable, so 
different from our own ungracious way, where one 
Minister or Cltarg^ often steals away in advance, as 
though ashamed to face his successor. A disgraced 
or unsuccessful official in China always keeps his 
" face " ; every one goes to see him off, including his 
enemies. And thus did poor Yinghan disappear 
from the " high-class " stage, amid the blare of trumpets 
and the tears of friends. 



THE VICEROY LIU K'UN-YIH 

This frank and loyal-minded official first made his 
mark during the Taiping rebellion, when he served 
with distinction in Hu Nan (his native province) 
and Kwang Si. In 1865 he was rewarded with the 
high civil post of Governor for Kiang Si ; and in this 
capacity I had one or two tussles with him on the 
likin question at Kewkiang in 1872. It was not until 



"'this was a MAN" 175 

1878 that I made his personal acquaintance in his 
new post of Viceroy at Canton. 

Being a man of unpretentious demeanour, he was 
always pleased to pay visits to the consuls in person, 
and he had a particular veneration for my esteemed 
colleague and senior the late Consul Hance, the 
distinguished botanist. Liu K'un-yih himself had 
some shrewd notions on the subject of flowers ; and 
in one of his letters he described to us how in his 
leisure moments at home in Hu Nan he had culti- 
vated this hobby. His dialect was excruciatingly 
difficult to comprehend, and Dr. Hance did not 
understand a word of Chinese. Under these circum- 
stances it fell more than usually often to my lot 
to have to interpret orally between these two high- 
minded men ; and I was always pleased to improve 
the opportunity, for the dialect spoken by the Viceroy 
had never then been closely studied by any European. 

What particularly impressed me about Liu K'un-yih 
was his absolute frankness and loyalty. He never 
would connive at, or at least begin, any trickery or 
intrigue ; and on one occasion, when a foreign official 
in another jurisdiction unhandsomely attempted to 
get behind Dr. Hancc's back, contrary to official 
rule, he not only dissuaded the i^jtriguer, but wrote 
to Dr. Hance to explain why he had done so. On 
another occasion he acted for a few months for the 
Hoppo, or Manchu customs official, who had to retire 
during the regulation period in order to mourn for a 



176 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

parent. The Viceroy's share of the profits amounted 
to about thirty thousand pounds, which sum he 
declined to receive, but offered to charitable objects: 
for this he was rather snubbed than thanked by the 
Peking Government 

During his first Nanking viceroyalty in 1881 he 
fell into disgrace on account of his opium-smoking 
proclivities, contracted during the exposure of the 
wars ; but he never made any secret of the vice, which 
he himself keenly regretted : there is no record of 
his ever having told a He or acted basely for his own 
private purposes or interest. 

In 1 89 1 it was found that his virtues were more 
important than his vices were dangerous ; and so, on 
the death of the late Marquess Tseng's uncle, the Earl 
Tsfing Kwoh-ts'iian, he was once more appointed to 
Nanking, where, with the exception of a short Fabian 
campaign during the Japanese war of 1894-5, he has 
been ever since. He is now seventy years of age, 
and no word has ever been breathed against his in- 
corruptibility by even his bitterest enemies, of whom 
he has many. 

Until attention was directed to this excellent mandarin 
during the " Boxer " revolt, none of the foreign officials 
in China knew much of him, probably on account of his 
" Doric " accent and humble ways ; but he is a man 
of whom any Western nation might be proud, and 
I would as soon trust his honour as that of any 
Minister trained in European courts. 



''GENTLY SCAN YOUR FELLOW MAN" 177 

YUAN SHi-K'AI 

I NEVER met any other Chinaman at all resembling 
this man. He is bright, fearless, and reasonable, but at 
the same time a trifle rash, and very unscrupulous ; not 
for the interest of his own pocket, but for that of his 
master or patron. All the stories about his treachery to 
the Emperor must be taken cum grano^ for the Emperor 
was, according to Chinese ethics, himself treacherous 
to his legal mother, and therefore Yiian was quite right, 
from the " divine " point of view, to betray the Emperor 
to the Dowager (if he really did so). He had just 
atoned for a gross act of treachery when I first made 
his acquaintance in 1885 '* ^^ had arranged (1882) with 
Admiral Ting to kidnap the King of Corea's father, 
when that prince was the gallant mariner's own guest. 
When the " Dying 'Coon " (Tai-won Kun) was brought 
back to Corea, I had an audience of ''his royal high- 
ness " at Chemulpho in the presence of Yiian, who spoke 
quite frankly of his own future policy ; and the Tai-won 
Kun, too, was perfectly unconstrained in his manner. 
At that time China was " on top," and Japan occupied 
rather a back seat in Corean affairs. The Russians were 
suspicious of Yiian, and Yiian of the Russians ; but a 
little frankness all round was all that was necessary 
to dispel these germs of ill-feeling. "Diplomacy" 
often does as much harm as good in these mixed- 
interest affairs, and it is much better for all to play 
cards down as far as possible, so as to encourage 

12 



178 VICEROYS AND GOVERNORS 

persons who like keeping a card or two up the sleeve to 
appreciate the superior advantages of an honest game. 
As barbers say : " You may strop an edge off as well as 
one on." Too much finesse defeats itself. Of course 
it is not necessary to wear the heart on the sleeve 
for daws to peck at, but it is possible to play a shrewd 
rubber at all times without revoking or cheating. I 
should like to have seen General Gordon's face and 
heard his remarks if he had but seen and heard what 
the Sir Pompey Bedells of those days were bungling 
at in their ignorance of genuine facts : he did once 
give me his views on diplomatists ; at Canton in 1 880. 

On another occasion I saw Yuan at one of his 
own receptions. He was then preening himself as a 
"suzerain," very much like our Indian Viceroy does 
when holding durbar ; but of course on a very small 
scale. The Corean ministers and generals were all 
sitting deferentially round, and YUan (whose manners 
were of the plebeian and free-and-easy description of 
his patron Li Hung-chang) pointed like a child with 
his finger str»ght into the faces of each one as he 
explained to me who they were. 

It is necessary to read Chinese history to gain an 
insight into Yiian's Machiavellian character. He is the 
sort of man who would run hb enemy Into the boiling 
pot without compunction, and at the same time allow 
himself to be boiled (the cauldron was always kept hot 
and handy in the good old times) rather than give 
away a friend. With all that, he is very prt^ressive. 




:^.„J % 



" LOVE MERCY AND DELIGHT TO SAVEl" 179 

and not at all anti-missionary ; he is also just ; does 
not, or did not then smoke opium ; and is not in the 
least jealous of talent in other Chinese. 

On still another occasion I had some ground to 
believe he was playing or had joined in playing an 
unworthy trick upon a harmless individual, a col- 
league of his. I took him by surprise, and asked 
him : " Do you remember what you said to Li Hung- 
chang on a certain date?" 

He said : " Yes, I do." 

"Are you prepared to write down now with your 
own hand what you did say, and deny what you 
admit you didn't say?" 

He said : " Certainly." And he did so there and 
then, before a Chinese witness. 

Some weeks later I wrote to him : " I tell you 
frankly why I want it [which I did] ; I want, if 
you can see your way, a full account of the exact 
circumstances of that matter," etc. 

He replied by letter : " It seems to me now that if I 
gave you full particulars in writing, I might be doing in- 
jury to a man who was once my friend. I won't do it" 

And there the matter dropped ; for it appeared to me 
also that his attitude was, after all, the only generous 
one, especially as the real difficulty at issue could 
easily be settled in another way, by a little self-sacrifice 
on my part I have always thought the better of 
Yiian for his refusal. I wish I could say the same of 
all the other diplomats concerned. 



CHAPTER IX 
RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

A CHINESE CONVERT 

AT Tientsin in 187 1-2 I sought for and obtained the 
services of an orator — that is, a David who was 
guaranteed to go on "yarning" indefinitely, in order 
that Saul might study graceful forms of speech, and 
the music of " tones." This was a certain Mr. Han, 
introduced as a Protestant convert As a speaker he 
was perfect. He always spoke respectfully of Mr. 
Jonathan Lees, the missionary who appears to have 
originally taken him up ; but he lost no time in 
asking me how it was that some Protestants were 
not allowed to preach in Church of England places, 
and that no Protestants at all believed the teaching 
of the Roman Catholics. Warming up to his subject 
day by day, he argued that, as it was permissible 
amongst ourselves for Protestants to disbelieve 
Catholic doctrine, and vice versA ; and for Jews (of 
whom there were many at Tientsin) to disbelieve 
both ; it stood to reason, on our own European basis 

180 



^...^Jm^i.: 



Ill lllM 'll^ 



**HALI NO MORE OF THAT I" i8i 

of right, that Chinamen were also at liberty to choose 
one ; and therefore if necessary to reject all three. 
The whole subject, he said, seemed to him miao-Mzao 
wU'pUng {pbscurum per obscurius). And, if it were true 
that the Gospel was really open to all the world on 
equal terms, why should the Chinese, having heard the 
evidence on which Europeans profess to believe, not 
be themselves qualified to decide upon the truth of it ? 
There was nothing substantial to get hold of; it was 
purely a matter of imagination and opinion : hence 
Chinamen were justified in imagining and opining too. 
The Pope, together with other Western leaders of 
Churches, was born ignorant, like every other man ; he 
and they received their instruction from fallible men : at 
what stage of their existence, then, did they first know 
more than the persons who had taught them? Why 
should one country be more competent for infallibility 
than the other? Why should Italy monopolise the 
hierarchy, even amongst the few Catholic countries ; 
and why should Europe monopolise all forms of 
Christian teaching against the judgment of Asia? 
Besides, Chinese ideas of dignity would represent the 
conventional Deity, who must be clothed in some form, 
attired after the fashion of native emperors or sages ; 
and if this appear ridiculous to Europeans, how can 
Europeans expect the Chinese, who ridicule their 
Western appearance, to respect the Western ideal 
Deity, as clothed in their imaginations ; more especially 
as neither European nor Chinese garments ever figure 



i82 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

in the representations, which exhibit Arab attire, 
whilst the figure and features take Jewish form ? 
How can it possibly be a crime, punishable with 
torture for ever, not to believe what one can- 
not possibly understand? And how does it improve 
matters to confess, from obliging motives, to believing 
what the mind cannot grasp, — to admitting what the 
would-be teachers cannot explain by any known process 
of evidence ; and what they must themselves have been 
ignorant of and unable to understand until some one 
convinced them ? And the reward for believing : is 
there anything noble in aiming at exclusive safety and 
happiness? Is it not more noble to be indifferent to 
one's own future triumph over other men ? 

Mr. Han cordially approved of and accepted the 
teachings of Jesus Christ ; but he failed to see on what 
grounds other persons, not professing to be holy men 
or prophets themselves, should add embellishments of 
their own invention to Christ's simple words, and 
construct thereon an edifice of mystery which was 
contrary to the experience of men's senses. — I was 
unable to answer these questions properly ; but until 
they are answered by some one to Chinese satisfaction, 
China will never be Christian (I think). 

I afterwards knew Han in Corca. — It will be found 
that Dr. Johnson, in occasional small doses, made 
much the same observations to Boswcll, though, as 
we all know, that learned man was "orthodox." 



«YET THERE IS METHOD IN IT" 183 

MUSSULMANS IN CHINA 

I HAVE not had any experience of the Dungans, 
or mixed Mussulman Chinese of Kan Suh, who are 
historically known to have a dash of Arab blood in 
their veins ; but none of the Chinese Mussulmans I 
have met appeared to be in the least infected with 
the militant spirit of early Islam. Around Peking 
and the region of the Great Wall, many, if not most, 
of the innkeepers are Mussulmans ; which is singular, 
seeing that every Chinaman who enters the inn must 
eat pork. (I omitted to find out how this difficulty 
was got over: — I think the visitors have to cook 
their own food.) I noticed a marked undercurrent 
of sympathy with our travelling parties, as though 
the Mussulman felt that he and the Christian stood 
on common ground of some undefined kind. I had 
a long conversation on religion with the jovial landlord 
at Ch'atao, in the Wall. So far as I remember, he told 
me that circumcision was practised ; also the shaving by 
men, and the general denudation of superfluous hair 
by both sexes ; that abstinence from pork was en- 
joined ; and that no formal intermarriage with pagan 
women was permitted. There is a sort of kosher effect 
about everything Mussulman ; they are not exactly 
clean, but they seem to be more cleanly-minded and 
scrupulous than ordinary Chinese ; and the mere fact 
of their accepting some sort of discipline appears to 
add to their self-respect. 



i84 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

Old Kin Cho-an (intended to represent Johan[nes]) 
of Chungking was a very different kind of man from 
the northerners. I cannot say what his attitude 
towards Christians would have been if it had not 
been for his bitter but smothered hatred of Lo Pao-chX, 
the chief Christian, a feeh'ng which appears to have 
developed out of a former trade rivalry. The old man 
was well groomed, and very gentlemanly in appearance. 
He brought the akhAnd^ a man named Hia, to see me 
shortly after my arrival, and frequently came to sit with 
me himself, for whole hours at a time. Chungking is, 
or then was, a dangerous place to ** talk " in. His two 
themes were, first, the villainies, not of the Catholics or 
the Frenchmen, nor even of the native converts, but 
of Lo Pao-chi ; and, second, the possibility of England 
taking the Mussulmans of YUn Nan and Kwei Chou 
under her protection. He insisted on it that sooner 
or later England must " take " those provinces ; and 
politically he disliked France. 

Apart from the fact that Lo Pao-chY was my 
friend too, I did not care to express any opinion, 
or to encourage confidences in the personal matter, 
except on the basis of both men ** having it all out," 
face to face, in my presence. And as to the " alliance," 
that was exceedingly dangerous ground to tread upon, 
apart from the fact that I well knew we had already 
rejected the ofificial advances of the Panthays. I 
half suspected he was employed to " fish," — whether by 
the Chinese authorities or by the akhAtids I could not 



"TO DUMB FORGETFULNESS A PREY" 185 

guess, — and any false step I might have made would 
have cost me dear. However, John Kin never 
succeeded in extracting from me, nor did I possess, 
any clue. He never evinced any hostility towards, 
or any friendship for either Catholics or Protestants ; 
but he seemed to have some sympathy with me. On 
the whole, I could not fathom him to my satisfaction. 
I remember one remark of his as he glanced through 
my albums. He first looked at Bismarck and Moltke : 
then at other photographs of public men and private 
friends. He said : " Why, there is intelligence in all 
these faces I We Chinamen seem to be expressionless 
as compared with you foreigners. Our officials are no 
good at all. Each man of you seems to wear an 
air of vigour and resolve, whilst Chinamen are like 
so many moulded images. Look at this" (pointing 
to the taotai P'fing), "and compare it with that" 
(pointing to Charles Dickens). 

Perhaps a portrait of the good old P'fing may not 
come amiss ; so I give it here. He was a kind-hearted 
old man, of the gelatinous type, who fed himself 
up carefully on swallows' nests, sea-slugs, and other 
aphrodisiacs: he desired nothing beyond "enjoying 
happiness," and dying with decency and credit 

SAUL! SAUL! WHY PERSECUTEST THOU ME? 

There never was a more loyal and noble-hearted man 
than Dr. Hance ; but, owing to his incurable incapacity 
for Chinese, he did not "get on." However, Sir 



i86 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

Thomas Wade was a generous-minded man too, and 
therefore, on Sir Brooke Robertson's death, **OId 
Hance" got his opportunity, though never his com- 
mission as consul to the very last His friendship 
with Liu K'un-yih in 1879-80 was as striking as Sir 
Brooke's had been with Jweilin. Here ignorance 
actually stood in good stead, for most consuls " murder " 
their Chinese so much that they lose in dignity by using 
it. Hance's words of wisdom, uttered in the barbarous 
accents of " Europe," accordingly often fell to my 
department to translate ; and his " great thoughts," 
even as imperfectly rendered by me, impressed the 
Viceroy very much — not to speak of his world-wide 
reputation as a man of science. 

Once Liu K'un-yih paid Hance a visit to complain of 
the violent demeanour of the French consul, and also to 
protest against the Chinese being forced to believe what 
he called the nonsense {wu-ki^ or " without book '*) 
preached by English and other missionaries. Liu 
K'un-yih had been a great " persecutor of the Israelites " 
in Kiang Si, and when Governor of that province had 
once been visited by the intrepid Babcr. I had been 
in charge at Kewkiang shortly after Baber, and was 
therefore able to "rub it into" Liu K'un-yih's very 
marrow bones by argtimenta ad lunninem^ when Dr. 
Hance addressed him somewhat as follows: 

" We cannot possibly interfere with the French, who 
have their own way of doing things ; but no British 
missionary will be allowed to meddle in native affairs. 



"SAGE HOMER'S RULE THE BEST" 187 

At the same time, I and my second are both personal 
friends of most of the missionaries, Catholic as well 
as Protestant, French as well as English and American ; 
and we know perfectly well that they are doing the best 
they can, according to their own lights. In England 
we have had our days of persecution too, when the 
Lord of Heaven [Catholic] and Jesus [Protestant] sects 
burnt each other alive in turn, and kept the country in 
a state of perpetual ferment. But we have now got rid 
of Papal dictation, and have found it possible to extend 
equal toleration to all religions, the Roman Catholic 
included. In India we do not allow our own people to 
set foot in a Jatn temple, nor do we allow Mussulmans 
and Hindoos to bully each other. Frenchmen are free 
to convert the natives to Catholicism there. Parsces 
are at liberty to bury themselves publicly in vultures' 
bellies, and cremations take place all day long in the 
high streets of Benares. People never quarrel so much 
as on subjects they know nothing about ; and your own 
Emperor Taokwang once issued a well-known edict to 
this effect. Neither the Pope, nor the Czar, nor the 
Emperor of China knows anything whatever about a 
future life ; nor did Confucius ; d fortiori the mission- 
aries do not. Thus there is unlimited scope for belief, 
and the more you violently contest things incapable 
of demonstration, the more you excite the antagonism 
of the would-be demonstrator. Do what we do. Let 
the missionaries preach away, — any religion they like. 
No bones are broken, and no one is forced to believe. 






i88 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

If you persecute, you create an tmperium in imperio 
of disafTection, and give the missionaries a factitious 
importance : you * nourish a tiger to your future 
sorrow/ " 

Liu K'un-yih listened very attentively to these ex- 
hortations, and frequently recurred to them at future 
interviews, announcing his conviction that there was 
" something in it " {^^pu-wu k'o-tsai^*^^^ not without the 
selectable"). On Dr. Hance's return to Whampoa, 
Liu wrote him a most affectionate letter, and asked him 
to dinner in private. Ever since then his policy has 
been steadily on the side of order and protection. He 
has no respect whatever for ** beliefs," but he sees that 
the medical and school work of the missionaries is 
good. He despises native Christians, simply because 
he does not believe in the purity of their motives ; but 
he does not persecute them. Since 1880 there have 
been numerous instances where he has maintained 
order ; and, so far as I am aware, there is not a single 
instance where he has been charged with instigating 
or conniving at breach of order ; — I mean in missionary 
affairs. 

A NARROW ESCAPE 

Even so recently as sixteen years ago it was a 
capital offence to import Christian literature into Corea, 
and the history of the Missions Etrangires in that 
country is replete with stories of fidelity and martyrdom. 
After the bloodthirsty persecutions instituted by 



"ANGELS AND MINISTERS OF GRACE" 189 

the present King's father in 1866-8, Fathers Blanc 
and Deguette managed to creep unobserved into 
the country once more, in 1876; and two young 
French priests travelled with me to Chemulpho, in 
order to join them, in April, 1885. They mysteriously 
disappeared from the harbour during the night, having 
been spirited away in the usual disguise by some 
faithful converts. 

In Corea widowers always travel with a white veil 
or gag over their mouth and nose, like the Turkish 
women of Constantinople ; and they may not under 
any circumstances be spoken to. This curious custom 
lends itself with facility to silent disguises, and up 
to 1886 the French missionaries always availed them- 
selves of it ; of course carrying their lives in their 
hands ; or in their nerves. 

Towards the end of 1885, M. Paulus von Moellendorff, 
a foreign official holding high office in Corea, wrote to 
inform me that a convert, either Corean or Chinese, I 
forget which, had been arrested by the Prefect of Insan 
with a trunk of New Testaments in his possession. The 
peculiar circumstances of his temporary position rendered 
it almost impossible for the foreign official in question 
(himself in serious trouble) to interfere; but, as de- 
capitation was almost certain, he invited me, in the 
interests of humanity as well as of Christianity, and 
at the urgent request of Bishop Blanc, whose own 
position was still secret and doubtful, to obtain the 
man's release officieusiment. Luckily for the indiscreet 



190 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

importer of books, the prefect, whose city lay about 
four miles down the coast, was a personal friend of 
mine, and had eaten several savoury dinners (getting 
gloriously drunk on one occasion) at my house. 
It was not very easy to justify my unofficial inter- 
ference, for of the three or four nationalities concerned 
not one was British ; and there was at the time 
neither a British merchant nor a British missionary 
anywhere in Corea. 

I shall never forget the prefect's visit: he came 
in state from Insan, and was " supported " under 
the elbows by his followers as he waddled into 
my presence (no mandarin may walk unsupported) ; 
wearing his horse-hair hat, exactly like that of an old 
Welshwoman ; his robes, cope, and stole ; and (strangest 
of all strange customs) carrying his copper yo-kang* 
(always deposited by Corean magnates outside the 
door) in his hand. As a sequel to the interview, the 
incriminated man was shortly afterwards released. 

A few days later, I was surprised to receive a 
visit from a foreigner who looked like a beach- 
comber; it was one of the French missionaries, who 
had been sent down by the bishop to acknowledge 
the service. He had got out of his widower's 
disguise, and had purchased a cheap **slop suit" 
for the occasion at a Chinese store, the fit of which 
suit was something to remember. He seemed to 
have lost fluency in his own language. From 

* See Glossary. 



•'BY THAT SIN FELL THE ANGELS" 191 

enquiries I have recently made in Paris, I find this 
"beach-comber" was the late Provicat Pire Coste. 

THE SEED OF THE CHURCH 

Lo Pao-CHI was in the zenith of his power and 
pride when I first visited him early in the year 
1881 : six years later ''his head and his body 
occupied different places," — as the Chinese proclamations 
say when they threaten the " silly people " with dire 
penalties. He was the recognised head of the Chung- 
king Christians in this sense ; that he was a rich, 
influential trader; had the courage to publicly admit 
that he and his family were Catholics ; resisted the 
efforts of pagan, Mussulman, and other gentry to 
force his hand in the usual thorny matters of public 
subscriptions for " pagan " purposes ; and acted as a 
sort of go-between, or atpitcus curiae^ betwixt the 
bishopric and the mandarins. 

When the French political influence at Peking 
was not only very low, — between the dates of the 
unavenged Tientsin massacre and the seizure by 
France of Tonquin, — but was unwillingly exerted 
in favour of the missionaries* "advanced policy," the 
two Sz Ch'wan bishoprics had to draw in their horns 
for a time: the energy of the last incumbent was 
disavowed and deprecated ; the claim of the bishops 
to visit the mandarins in official chairs and call them- 
selves ta-jen (= great man) was not admitted ; and, 
so far as Eastern Sz ChSvan was concerned, the chaise 



192 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

was left by the Holy See for some years in the hands 
of a vicar-general of neutral or conciliatory character 
Monsgr. Blettery. Neither he nor any of the French 
priests at that time ever appeared in the public streets ; 
whenever they had to go out at all, it was in closed 
native sedans of the ordinary road-traveller type. 
Outside Chungking and other lai^c cities there was 
less necessity for concealment ; but of course they 
all wore Chinese clothes, as nearly all Roman Catholic 
priests in China are in the habit of doing. 

At a dinner courteously given to me by Lo Pao-chi 
in a pretty little temple garden (I think Christian 
property) within the walls, the genial Mgr. Blettery and 
one or two other hospitable Frenchmen were present 
Of course these gentlemen were more competent 
than I to form an opinion as to their then leading 
convert's value ; at least as a Christian ; and perhaps 
also as a man : in the latter capacity, however, he 
did not impress mc as a person I should care to 
trust very far, though I must, in justice to him, say 
that, during my year's stay, he proved exceedingly 
well-disposed towards me personally ; not so much on 
my own account as because my presence was indirectly 
strengthening to the mission. It was generally under- 
stood that he maintained in his household a number 
of paid bravos, whose function it was to shadow him 
in the streets, and, if necessary, protect him by force 
from the intrigues of his enemies, of whom he had 
many; and when the second riot occurred in i88<S, 



"TVE SET MY LIFE UPON A CAST" 193 

it seems that the violence or excessive zeal of these 
mercenaries really indirectly cost him his own life. 
It was also made pretty clear to me in 1881 that the 
man was hated, both by the mandarins, who utilised 
his services rather out of fear than from any feeling 
of respect ; and by some of the leading Mussulmans, who 
were jealous alike of his general commercial influence, 
and of the Christian predominancy over Islam. 

However that may be, the riot of 1886-7 took effect 
exactly where that of 1881 failed to come to a serious 
head, and savage attacks were made upon the Roman 
Catholic mission, which was destroyed, as well as upon 
the local Christians. Under these alarming circum- 
stances Lo Pao-chY organised a determined defence of 
his own property, and the services of his bullies were 
utilised to beat off the rioters from his house : this, of 
course, could easily be maliciously construed into a 
** rebellious taking of the law into his own hands." In 
the scrimmage which ensued, a man was killed, and 
such an occurrence served as a welcome pretext for 
bringing a charge of murder against the too enter- 
prising owner of the house. Satisfaction was duly 
made to the missionaries, but the "face" of the 
mandarins vis-d-vis of their own people was saved 
by making a scapegoat of Lo Pao-chr, who, despite the 
most desperate efforts to save him made by the French 
Minister at Peking, suffered the extreme penalty of 
the law, and was ignominiously decapitated, — as already 
narrated under another head. 

13 



196 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

and he had spent and intended to spend the whole 
of his strength in endeavouring to convert the Kachyns ; 
get them to abandon their wasteful habit of burning 
down the forests for cultivable land ; and turn them 
into peaceful, settled communities. The Kachyns 
seemed very fond of him, and the local government 
appreciated his efforts : but it was really like pouring 
water into a sieve : his capacity to receive and spend 
was inexhaustible, but not one penny did he spend 
unnecessarily on himself. 

In appearance he reminded me very much of 
the murderer DumoUard of thirty-five years ago. 
He had an enormous, thick, black beard ; a square- 
made, sturdy, hairy body ; and a fearless, almost fierce 
aspect. He was a pure enthusiast ; but he did not 
mind being "chaffed," and he got plenty of chaff from 
me, who did not take the least interest in the spiritual 
welfare of the Kachyns, He was excellent company, 
enjoyed a good d^jeAner 4 la fourchette, and could 
drink and smoke with any man. At last he was 
reduced to selling his best gun, the one his old 
mother had given him as a parting gift. All he 
wanted was that it should be in friendly hands. I 
bought it for forty rupees, and I had intended to send 
it back so soon as he should have got his mission 
" straightened out " financially. But when I got to 
Hongkong on my way home in 1894, I was not allowed 
to land, on account of the plague, and had to go straight 
from gunboat to steamer : the instant I got on board the 



"NO ITALIAN PRIEST SHALL TITHE" 197 

steamer, I learnt from a French missionary that poor 
Father Cadoux was no more : fever and starvation had 
done their work. 

ROMAN CATHOLIC EDUCATION 

It may be supposed, from the casual quips in which 
I indulge in these papers, that I am no admirer of 
missionaries, not to say of Roman Catholics and 
Jesuits ; but this is quite a mistake, for I myself 
have many ties among, and am even a consistent 
supporter of, the Jesuits' work in China ; besides having 
taken the trouble to translate from the Latin, and to 
publish, the esoteric official history of their rivals there, 
the Missions Etrangires. I make this reservation : 
though a genuine Christian myself, I decline to recog- 
nise anything superhuman in their religious dogma, 
which I regard merely as a useful human discipline ; 
just as the teetotallers and the Salvation Army, with 
all their one-idea'dness and their eccentricity, seem to 
me to be on a better tack than the loafers, drinkers, 
and debauched wastrels who grace our European towns ; 
not excluding my own native city. 

During the winter of 1884-5 I visited the late Bishop 
Garnier and most of the following Jesuit establishments : 
(i) the central residence at Sicca wei, Chinese college, 
Chinese news agency, etc ; (2) the Chinese orphanage 
and printing-press close by at Tusewei ; and the 
Chinese girls' school, female doctors' school, women's 
asylum, etc., of Sengmuyu : also the Chinese hospital 



198 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

at Tungkadu, south-east of Shanghai ; the enormous 
" Eurasian " girls' schools at Shanghai ; the Chinese 
boys' schools at Hongkew (American Shanghai) ; and 
the Chinese hospitals, etc., within the native city walls : 
in addition, a little earlier, their establishments at Wuhu 
up the river, where for a short time I was consul : but of 
this last mentioned An Hwei group I saw comparatively 
little. The work done is enormous, and when I say 
that there are nearly nine hundred Jesuit stations in 
Kiang Nan (/>. Kiang Su and An Hwei), each with a 
chapel ; over three hundred Chinese boys' schools and 
four hundred Chinese girls' schools ; and that pagans 
as well as Christians are educated, I lay stress in my 
own mind not so much on the ghostly as on the 
mundane benefits conferred. 

Under Bishop Gamier the Jesuits of Kiang Nan 
seemed to hold more aloof than now from French 
political ambition ; and I hope they will not, since 
M. G6rard (the able French Minister who suddenly 
appeared, as told in another story, at my bedside in 
Hoihow) thought fit to give a strong fillip to French pro- 
pagandism, endanger the legitimate moral success of their 
splendid cause by mixing themselves up too much with 
national rivalries. The late P. Gaillard, for instance, 
has published a polemical work altogether too full of 
the political anglophobia, though he himself once had 
to fly to Jersey for British hospitality and protection. 

The Missiofis Etranghres are seen at their best 
under English protection at Penang ; and indeed it is 



"TELL IT NOT IN GATH" 199 

in Burma and such places, where absolute freedom and 
liberality is enjoyed under the British flag, that French 
missionaries display their noblest qualities, free from 
the temptation to join their vivacious lay compatriots 
in the congenial task of " pulling the English leg." 
It is under their own not very tolerant flag, — as, for 
instance, in Annam and Tonquin, — that they appear 
at their second best : no Protestant missionary dares to 
show his nose in Tonquin. Only in this year (1901) 
some Protestants endeavoured through me to get their 
Testaments translated into Annamese — or, rather, to 
have their translations checked ; but, as the French have 
the monopoly of that language, I find it is well-nigh 
impossible. I have myself had to contrast the cold, 
bare courtesy of the Hanoi bishop, who mistook me 
for a ministre avec son bible^ with the warm geniality of 
that noble old man, the late scholarly and distinguished 
Bishop Bigandet of Rangoon. I paid three visits to the 
Chinese college at Penang, where the Very Reverend 
Father E. Wallays most courteously showed me 
all there was to be seen. In general principle it is 
conducted on the same lines as the Jesuit establish- 
ment at Siccawei. At first P^re Wallays did not 
half like my publishing the ** confidential " history of 
his mission — in fact, it was, I believe, generally resented 
as a " liberty " for a layman to take ; but he subse- 
quently aided me to issue a second edition, corrected 
by himself; so that he must have seen that I had, after 
all, been tolerably fair. 



200 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

I saw a great deal of the Missions Etrangires in 
Corea, Sz Ch'wan, Kwei Chou, Canton, Siam, Burma, 
etc., etc., and have had many warm friends amongst 
their members, whose courage is unquestionable ; but 
their methods are sometimes a little too a^ressive 
and militant to meet our views of what charity and 
religion ought to be ; nor are their average men 
so thoroughly grounded in scientific theology, or so 
admirably disciplined, as the Jesuits; who compel 
veneration and respect in China by the sheer force 
of their erudition and self-denial. They have the good 
sense to discern that the Chinese intellect demands 
their very best men. 

Lest it be supposed that I have a bias against my 
own countrymen and their "average" religion, I may 
just casually add that the China Inland Mission, which, 
like the above two, works in Chinese clothes, has 
always impressed me as doing excellent medical and 
lay work, and as coming the nearest among the 
Protestants to St. Paul's standard. Personally, and 
for the sake of political peace, I should like to see 
the China Inland Mission and the Jesuits absorb all 
other rivals, and to have them left in charge of all 
Chinese Christians, as friendly rivals. 

PAGAN CHRISTIANS 

The good Father Baptista had become quite a fashion- 
able member of society since he took to riding his 
" pon " into Hoihow and cracking a joke with his flock 



« IN SUCH A QUESTIONABLE SHAPE " 201 

(the Patrick Fitzpatrick OTooles). (I may mention to 
those unacquainted with the Portuguese that there 
is a colloquial tendency in that language to drop 
final e\ and thus the English word poney becomes 
"pon.") He was now, two years later, "bearded like 
the pard," and the head of the Portuguese mission 
at Singapore. At Hoihow he was unable (unless 
he drew upon his slender store of altar wine) 
to offer other hospftality than skinny chickens, rice, 
and tea ; and lived in humble Chinese style. In his 
capacious residence at Singapore he did me well at 
table, and took me for a gliarry drive. We passed a 
church on the way back, and he told me it was very 
popular with the Chinese. I was rather surprised to 
hear this, and presumed he was referring to "old 
Christians " of St. Francis Xavier's time, three centuries 
ago. But, to my still greater surprise, he added that 
the well-disposed Chinese in question were pagans, 
and that they came annually to make a sort of 
pilgrimage and sacrifice to the Holy Mother — a term 
which occurs in their own Pantheon. The details of 
the story have escaped my memory, but it was some- 
what as follows : — 

A Chinese had, many years ago, been in great peril 
or distress, and somehow or other a vow had been 
made that, if relief were obtained, rewards would be 
conferred upon the aiding spirit Relief came, and 
news of it spread like wild-fire ; hence the Chinese — 
i,€, those hailing from the same home villages as the 



202 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

persons immediately concerned — enthusiastically took 

the matter up. Every year a sort of wake was held : 

the church was thrown open ; offerings were made 

to the Virgin Mary's image; and there was a general 

jollification. So far as I understood Father Baptista, no 

obtrusive attempt was made by him to divert this 

rill of " faith " into the main stream of orthodoxy ; and 

I think wisely so. 

I just mention this circumstance to illustrate the 

position that the Chinese as a nation are naturally 

disposed to gratitude and piety ; and (though Father 

Baptista was not a Jesuit) that the original Jesuit 

plan of following the line of least resistance, and 

availing themselves of the latent energy contained in 

existing materials, is the true way to Christianise the 

Chinese. For policy's sake, of course, the Jesuits 

must accept the Pope's dicta ; but some thinking men 

regard the Jesuits as an organisation not inferior to 
the Vatican in the way of sound judgment. 

Buddhist prayers were offered up by some of my 

retainers for my safety whenever I left China. I 

approved ; that is, I was totally indifferent to the 

outward form of the prayers, so long as the person 

praying was in earnest The Taoist charm granted 

to me by the Taoist " Pope " was believed to have 

saved me at Chungking. What docs it matter whether 

the Chinese thought so or not? The Chinese do not 

possess the persecuting spirit, and are disposed to 

grant " free trade and open door " to all beliefs, so 



''BE JUST, AND FEAR NOT" 203 

long as public order is maintained in the approved 
ways. As for myself, I have always selected the 
Roman Catholic religion for my own juvenile educational 
purposes on account of its superior discipline ; but I do 
not for that reason feel bound to accept its dogmas ; 
nor do I see necessity to recognise the capacity of 
the Pope or any one else, Roman Catholic or 
Protestant, to evolve positive judgments as to a 
future, touching which we are all profoundly ignorant 
I simply support him as the head of an educational 
department, and I hope he and his successors will 
march along with the reforms of the time. The 
Christian spirit of Christ is, in my humble opinion, 
as much present in Buddhism and Taoism as it is 
in our Churches ; and even in Islam there is much 
that resembles the Christian spirit, — which, indeed, 
Islam itself recognises with respect. The Government 
of India, a splendid example of tolerance, protects all 
systems, "idolatry" included. 

In short, it appears to me that there is only one 
religion, as there is only one truth. Benjamin Disraeli 
is said to have observed : " All wise men have the 
same religion, but no wise man says what it is." Even 
the orthodox Johnson asserts : " All denominations 
of Christians have really little difference in point of 
doctrine, though they may differ widely in external 
forms. . . . With contests concerning moral truth, 
human passions are generally mixed." There is no 
indispensable truth in any belief which rests on the 



204 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 

imagination ; and religion is not indispensable in truth, 
which is independent of moral contest Truth is what 
the straightforward, honest mind deduces or tries to 
deduce from concrete facts apparent to the senses ; 
and moral conviction is what the mind, which is 
simply the sense of imagination, imagines as to guiding 
principles. If a person imagines a thing to be true, 
what he imagines must be the "faith" which com- 
mends itself to his mind ; he can listen to the ex- 
hortations of others if he likes ; but he himself is final 
judge — that is, if he possesses any mind which he feels 
equal to the task of judging. On this rational basis, 
I believe, the Chinese as a nation are willing to listen, 
which is the first step towards believing ; and therefore, 
(as some say) towards salvation. 



CHAPTER X 
HUMANITAS 

CHINESE TEACHERS 

CHANG the Giant and his Cantonese friend Ling 
A-luk were the first to inoculate me with the 
Celestial virus. This was in 1867, and the Giant in- 
formed me that he came from a village near Hankow. 
I once more met him, "on show," at a wax-work ex- 
hibition in 1883, and rather startled him by addressing 
a few peremptory words to him in the local Hankow 
brogue. He was then preening himself on a dais 
before a bevy of admiring women, for all the world 
like an emperor : his business was to write inscriptions 
on fans for a small fee ; but he rose respectfully the 
instant he heard "language of authority," and some- 
what sadly said he was growing tired of show life, had 
been cheated out of his savings, and would be glad 
to go back, even as "boy," to his own land. 

I daresay " city men " will recollect a typical China- 
man of cunning appearance, dressed as a Celestial 
bourgeois, who used to put on a semi-daft air and 
parade the London streets at about that time. He was 



2o6 HUMANITAS 

a Cantonese, and he also gave me a few lessons. In 
1897 I saw him shuffling about Highbury in what looked 
like the same old clothes he wore in 1867. He had 
on felt slippers lined with straw, and appeared gouty 
or rheumatic: he was then an old man. I forget 
his name ; but he was a humbug and a beggar : no 
fool. 

There was also a Shanghai man of ruddy countenance, 
dressed (as I afterwards discovered) in the style of a 
boat coolie, who wore a brown pork-pie hat (as still 
worn in* China), and sold packets of scent about 
Lombard Street, Cheapside, and Cornhill. His name 
was ChSu K'ing-fung, and he then said he had been 
a Shanghai sampan man ; he possessed an English 
wife. For two months he gave me instruction, and 
it was a great puzzle to me to reconcile his pro- 
nunciation with that of the two Cantonese and the 
Hankow man above described. 

Then there was a man named Liu (Lao in some 
dialects), who had taken to European clothes, and had 
transformed himself into " Mr. Law." He was from 
Ningpo, and had been a cook on board some ship. 
Apparently the missionaries had worked upon his 
feelings, and had obtained for him a post as door-keeper 
to one of the Sailors* Homes on the Thames bank. 
He was a most regular attendant at my lodgings 
from March 18 to November i, 1868, and his 
knowledge of the written character was sufficient to 
admit of considerable progress being made. 



A PROTEAN TONGUE 207 

During all this time the Rev. Dr. James Summers of 
George Yard, Lombard Street, had been giving lessons 
in " mandarin " to myself and two British missionary 
students named Sadler and Bryson (the latter I saw 
again at Hankow in July, 1872, hard at his work). 
Dr. Summers was absolutely the only European I ever 
met or heard of who could use the pencil-brush quite 
as well as a Chinese ; he was even able to do the 
Japanese flourishes, which are an infinitely more diffi- 
cult form of calligraphy ; and there was a Japanese of 
rank named Takeda who came occasionally to chat 
with him and to give him lessons in fancy writing. 
But Dr. Summers' " mandarin " did not in the least 
correspond with the dialects of Ling, Chang (properly 
Chan), Chdu, or Law. 

Finally, the last part of Mr. (Sir T.) Wade's Tzii- 
irh'Chi came out, and I at once set to work to clear 
up the mystery of conflicting pronunciations ; the 
work was subsequently reviewed at length in The 
Times. But the plot only thickened, and his " tones " 
were hopelessly " wrong." It was not until I actually 
reached Peking in 1869 that I found I must "unlearn" 
considerably. The true explanation is that, given what 
we might call an ancient, or algebraical, or imaginary 
average sound///, this becomes //, pik^p'il, pitsu^ hitsz^ 
and all manner of things, according to locality ; and its 
"tone," "series," "aspiration," etc., likewise vary, just 
as do its initial and final. So with every word in the 
Chinese language. But there is no mystery. 



• * • • 

• * • - !• • •': 



208 RELIGION AND MISSIONARIES 



OLD OW 

During temporary sickness in 1874, my Cantonese 
teacher, himself a man of brilliant intelligence, provided 
me with a substitute, who bore the ancient double 
surname of Ou-yang (local Ao-yong), shortened, after 
Chinese custom, into Ao. He was a little, thin man 
with a tremendous nose and deep, raucous voice, through 
which instruments he emitted with clarion precision 
the then still but half-understood Cantonese syllables ; 
and above all the tones — eighteen of them : it was 
almost like the braying of a jackass. This was a 
revelation to me ; and the result of it was the intro- 
duction of a number of new tones into scientific 
Cantonese, the very existence of which tones was at 
first denied by local scholars. 

On my return to Canton in 1878, I bethought me 
of "Old Ow," and kept him on my premises en 
disponabilit^. He had once been employed as a shvye 
(local sZ'ye\ or secretary, in Hu Nan ; but apparently 
his rigid and Diogenes-like virtue had failed to advance 
his material interests. He was, in one sense, a sort of 
Chinese Carlylc, always denouncing humbugs and pre- 
tenders ; extolling the ancient sages, and full of ceremony, 
funerals, reverence for "bones," and all manner of 
Confucian characteristics such as the " superior man " 
ought to delight in. One thing he could not do, and 
that was speak mandarin properly : it was therefore not 
without jealousy that he heard my illiterate "boy" 



"THAT OLD MAN ELOQUENT" 209 

converse with me in a dialect he would have given his 
right hand to speak. It was a great come-down for the 
old man to have to teach a barbarian as a solace and 
support for the sere and yellow leaf of life. He used to 
compare me with Shih L6h (local Shek LSk) and other 
monarchs of Turkish race who, fifteen hundred years 
s^o, sat at the feet of Hindoo and Chinese Gamaliels, 
such as Buddochinga and the bonze Hwei-sing. 

One of my consuls was exceptionally endowed with 
official dignity, and I was once asked to arrange for him 
an interview with " Old Ow," whose nostrils positively 
distended with indignation at the thought that "his 
Excellency " treated teachers as servants, and would 
even exact respect from him. Before he would consent 
to be interviewed, I had to arrange officieusement that 
both of them should stand on meeting : for myself, I 
never ventured to talk to "Old Ow" until he was 
seated, and always rose as he entered the room ; in 
well-bred China even a viceroy rises to a teacher. 

In spite of his sterling honesty and Cato-like severity, 
" Old Ow " was mean and sordid to the extreme in his 
private life : he used to intrigue round his arch-enemy 
the " boy " in order to get a meal gratis ; furtively 
swallow opium pills to conceal the fact that he had once 
been an opium rou^ \ grow purple in the face when 
bargaining with boatmen about a few copper cash ; and 
catch rats for his dinner in order to make the coy 
hair grow. He was never tired of impressing upon 
me the barbarism of my nature, though he admitted 

14 



2IO HUMANITAS 

towards the end that I was gradually becoming rather 
a " ripe " barbarian under his lash. " Yet did I bear 
it with a friendly shrug," — though sufferance is 
decidedly not badge of all my tribe. 

On the arrival in 1879 of a Hongkong cadet to study 
Chinese in Canton, I lent him " Old Ow," who took the 
youngster up country and taught him Cantonese very 
well. A year or two later the old man was carried off 
by his new patron to the barbarian stronghold of Hong- 
kong, and gfiven employment in the Registrar-GeneraFs 
department, where he served with great fidelity His 
shrewdness and hatred of roguery made him very 
useful in the matter of circumventing humbugs ; but his 
loyal nature never permitted of his being utilised as a 
spy or informer. He used occasionally to teach the 
British military officers Chinese ; but he did not admire 
their artificial style at all, and used to describe them 
contemptuously as wu-niu (local moU'ngao\ or " military 
cattle." 

It is no exaggeration to say that " Old Ow " is, in a 
way, at the bottom of modem Cantonese as now under- 
stood, for he translated Sir Thomas Wade's Colloquial 
Course half a dozen times into that dialect ; he was also 
the first to make its " tonic " mysteries quite clear, and 
to define them by fixed fonnulce. He died in harness 
about ten years ago, and his portrait in oils still adorns 
the public offices of Hongkong. I am not sure but that 
the British Government (local) did some honour to his 
uncompromising manes. At all events, the present 



'* WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 211 

Colonial Secretary, the Hon. J. Stewart-Lockhart 
(soon, it is hoped, to be Governor), always cherished 
a noble veneration for his memory ; and, indeed, he 
it was who, as a cadet, first introduced "Old Ow" to 
*' outer" barbarian life. 

"FULL OF STRANGE OATHS" 

The principle of tabu has always had a wide extension 
in China. Emperors* private names may not be 
uttered or printed ; parents' ditto must be avoided ; 
and, generally, the whole system is and has been 
developed into an occult art, according to the tastes 
of each dynasty. But, apart from this, there is also 
the popular tabu: mothers affect hideous names for 
their children, such as " cur," " dung," and so on ; in 
order to throw the devils off the scent, should they 
wickedly desire to pick off attractive sons. In Canton 
the practice pervades the whole of social and family 
life; thus an almanac is called /'««^-jA/«^ ("generally 
victorious ") instead of t^ung-shu (" general book "), 
because shu also means "defeat." 

One day I was running through the ancient Odes 
of Confucius with " Old Ow," when I asked him : 
" What sort of a plant really is the kot^ of which 
clothes are made here?" 

He said : " It is popularly called the ' solid-hearted 
arrowroot * here in Canton, because the word kot is tabuP 

I asked : " Why ? I am not aware of any emperor's 
name having that sound." 



212 HUMANITAS 

" No ; that is not it. The Supreme Court at 
Hongkong, is vulgarly known as the Tdi Kot [Great 
Kot^ or " Court "], and the criminal classes do not like 
to invoke the word, which they regard as a sort of 
Themis. And there is a still stronger reason. When 
foreigfners first came, they were observed to utter a 
terrible imprecation whenever they were enraged. No 
one knows exactly what it means ; but I am informed 
that Kot t'am is the name of an English deity, whose 
wrath is called down upon the heads of luckless 
Chinamen on the slightest provocation. Not only 
therefore, is the word Kot carefully avoided, but the 
mysterious combination Kot t'am, or Kot t'am yu hai^ 
is especially dreaded. It has even been heard in the 
British Consulate, so no doubt you know what it 
means. Now, the second of the Odes runs: ^ Kot chi 
t^am hair [**How the Dolichos creeps!"], and this 
whole sentence has a tendency to be tabooed ; more 
especially the two essential words Kot [Dolichos] and 
and t^am [creeps]." 

The above explanation was given so gravely, and 
with such a punctilious sense of truth, that I did not 
enlighten the old man further as to barbarian ways. 

The Chinese in their oaths have a decidedly Spanish 
tendency ; the caratnbas^ carajos^ and harto de ajos\ 
which come so readily to the Spanish tongue, are not 
by any means as innocent as they look. In Peking 
objurgations usually take the form of insinuations about 
your younger sister, or about "turtles' eggs." In 



"YOU LAWYERS CAN WITH EASE" 213 

Canton the mother, or, in an ascending scale, both 
the parents, or even ancestors to the eighteenth degree, 
have imaginary assaults delivered at their invisible 
anatomy. Hence it is decidedly low for Europeans 
to "swear in Chinese." The best thing is to "swear 
not at all," of course ; but, if swear you must, by all 
means stick to the good old-fashioned English " creep- 
ing Dolichos." 



A CHINESE BARRISTER 

No foreigner has ever yet succeeded in obtaining a 
Chinese degree, nor is it at all likely that any one 
has tried ; but, as special arrangements are made for 
Miao-tsz and other tribes, it is not improbable that a 
European student would be admitted if he went 
through the usual curriculum. On the other hand, 
both Chinese and Japanese have shown that they 
possess the requisite mental capacity to obtain English 
degrees, and to pass the Inns of Court examinations 
for call to the bar. When it is considered that, in order 
to do this, the Oriental must have some knowledge 
of Roman as well as of English history, it becomes 
evident that, besides mastering Law, a Chinese who 
can pass for call must possess considerable intellectual 
power. 

One of the students at the Middle Temple in 1876 
was Ng Choy (the Cantonese way of pronouncing 
Wu Ts'ai). The Wu family of Canton, to which it 



214 HUMANITAS 

is almost certain Mr. Wu must be more or less distantly 
related, is no other than the " Howqua " of old Co-hong 
days ; and I suppose " Howqua " may be a Portuguese 
attempt to render the syllables Ng-ka, or " Wu family." 
Archdeacon Gray several times took me with him to 
see the family mansion. Mr. Ng, after being called 
to the bar, returned to Hongkong, where he practised 
for a time before the Supreme Court there. Before 
long his services were requisitioned by Li Hung-chang 
at Tientsin, where he remained for many years as 
legal adviser, and thus obtained formal entrance into 
the Chinese public service. He is no other than Wu 
T'ing-fang, the present able Minister at Washington. 

I often found myself at the same table with him 
in " hall," but I do not think the subject of common 
Chinese experiences was ever raised. At that time 
he had entirely cut off his "pigtail," presumably be- 
cause he then looked forward to an English rather 
than to a Chinese career. At the same table there 
occasionally sat a very observant but by no means 
loquacious Japanese, the late Mr. Hoshi Torn. Once, in 
the absence of Ng Choy, some of the students raised the 
question what characters the Japanese used for writing 
purposes, and doubts were thrown upon my suggestion 
that all educated Japanese could write Chinese. A 
test was therefore resolved upon, and a piece of paper 
was inscribed with the following sentence — the first 
in Confucius* Analects : " Is it not a charming thing 
when a friend comes from afar ? " The future states- 



"ANCIENT AND FISH-LIKE SMELL" 215 

man read the paper without moving a muscle of his 
face, and, true to his taciturn character, wrote the 
Chinese monosyllable **»(?," which, curiously enough, 
in classical language means "yes" 

When a Chinese becomes a "mandarin," he adopts 
an official "Christian" name, and T'ing-fang, or "hall 
fragrance," is accordingly the bureaucratic designation 
of Ng Choy : the idea is that of a statesman, the 
sweet-smelling savour of whose reputation "fills the 
court." As the Viceroy Chang ChMung said of 
Chunghou, when he betrayed China to Russia : 

If he cannot bequeath a fragrance for ten centuries, 
At least he can leave a stench for ten thousand years. 



OLD LU 

This fine specimen of a Cantonese bourgeois gentleman 
was pensioned off by the British Government about 
1893, shortly after I last saw him; but from time to 
time he wrote me a letter or two full of sympathy, 
and reminding me of his existence, which, I trust, is 
not yet a thing of the past During the Arrow 
lorcha war of 1858 he had performed some confidential 
services for Sir Harry Parkes, who, with that loyalty 
to humbler colleagues which so distinguished him 
beyond others of his rank who shall be nameless, took 
steps to secure the Chinese writer in question a per- 
manent position. Sir Brooke Robertson was also 
staunch and loyal to the backbone, and would as soon 



2i6 HUMANITAS 

have slashed off his right hand as cut the ground from 
behind the back of a fellow Government servant : with 
him " Old Lu " was safe, and " enjoyed happiness " for 
many years. 

The punctuality and zeal of the old man — for old he 
was when he became practically my vassal in 1879 — 
were most touching. He footed it all the way from his 
house in the interior of the city — about three miles — 
and was never late; wet or fine, he trudged back at 
four o'clock : at least, / never kept him one minute after 
four. He had a large family, was as honest as the 
day, and could not afford the luxury of a two-bearer 
chair. Sharp at ten every morning he arrived with 
his umbrella, fan, and " mackintosh," pufHng and 
blowing with anxiety and exertion. At Canton the 
native gentry are in the habit of purchasing official 
documents from the yamins^ but " Old Lu " was of so 
sterling a kidney that I rarely ventured even to show 
film such papers, though I knew he had observed 
(more in sorrow than in anger) that I had received 
such from the hands of a certain rascally " gentleman " : 
it is the ** custom of the country." 

" Old Lu's " great anxiety in life was lest he 
should be superseded. He was quite competent 
to do his work in the ordinary humdrum way ; 
but he was not much of a scholar, nor was he 
so rapid with his pen, or in taking down from 
dictation in the " mandarin " dialect, as was his 
more supple junior, who longed to supplant him, and 



"FATE NEVER WOUNDS MORE DEEP" 217 

really did the best part of the work. Moreover, the 
senior man was a little afraid of " Old Ow," a " dark 
horse " he knew I kept in the background as a private 
teacher. When I wanted any letter to the Viceroy 
written in really fine form, I used to get " Old Ow " 
to do it for me in secret ; learn it off by heart ; and 
then dictate it to " Old Lu," who was lost in wonder- 
ment at my lore ; but I thought it better to be a 
poseur for the nonce than to wound the old fellow's 
feelings. He did not mind my " teaching " him, for 
he seemed to think that " Parker '* was only a confused 
diplomatic or muddled barbarian form of " Parkes," his 
old patron ; but he did not like to play second fiddle 
to any Chinaman. 

" Old Lu " had an objectionable feature in the eyes, 
or rather in the nostrils, of some consuls : he had 
rather a strong smell, and a very bad set of teeth, 
which made him sputter disagreeably when he spoke ; 
to use the quaint and curious Chinese expression, his 
wei'Mi (= stomach-vapour) was ta {=^ great). 

I parted with him in 1880 in order to go to Chung- 
king, three thousand miles away: the old fellow shed 
tears. He used to write every new year to thank me 
for what he supposed was my " protection," though, as 
a matter of fact, it was impossible for me even to try 
to influence the incumbent for the time being. In 
1 89 1, after prolonged wanderings, I had the oppor- 
tunity of looking in at Canton on my way to Hainan, 
and 1 was distressed to find that the inevitable had 



2i8 HUMANITAS 

taken place at last. "Old Lu," after thirty years of 
faithful service, was now No. 2, and his junior had been 
placed over his head ; but, I think, without any material 
reduction of pay. I noticed that of the two seats at 
the writing-table, the younger man occupied the 
" superior " one ; and I asked explanations. The old 
man turned his head aside, and could scarcely withhold 
a tear and a blush of shame as he told me all this ; 
but he made no complaint, and said he knew he was 
a useless lump of flesh, and that he would have "got 
the sack " altogether had it not been for the " influence 
in Hades" of Sir Brooke Robertson and perhaps 
one or two others. About the end of 1895 he heard I 
had retired from the public service, and wrote to tell 
me that he also had got his pension all right from the 
British Government. If the British Government had 
always been as patiently served by its native-born as 
by its Chinese employes, its position in China would 
perhaps have been better than it now is. 



DOCTOR WONG 

What would an English lady, sitting in the boudoir 
upon her satin sofa, think if a pigtailed Chinaman 
walked in, began to feci her pulse, put his ear or even 
his hand to her heart, and then calmly ordered her to 
loosen her dress or her chemise a little ? Yet that was 
what Dr. Wong did every day. For many years he 
was the sole confidential medical adviser to at least a 



"STRANGER THAN FICTION" 219 

dozen European ladies, whose youngsters, moreover, 
he brought into the world. To an outsider arriving in 
Canton he was in no way distinguishable from the 
ordinary native literate, except that he wore small gold 
spectacles instead of the round, native-made, tortoise- 
shell goggles. The reason for this state of affairs 
was that Dr. Wong was (or was supposed to be) 
a Christian, who had taken his medical degree in 
Edinburgh : there he had studied under the auspices 
of Dr. Legge, whose influence at last obtained for him 
the official support of the consuls at Canton : when I 
first went there, there was absolutely no other doctor. 
At first, I believe, he had worn European clothes ; and, 
as he was a Pickwickian little man, with rubicund face, 
and honest, twinkling eyes, in this garb he might 
easily have passed for a European ; he was the very 
image of the late M. Thiers, both in face and size. 
But tight European " togs " are uncomfortable in the 
muggy climate of Canton ; so he soon began to " let 
his hair grow," and to slily coil the pigtail inside his 
hat When his consulting practice was firmly assured ; 
when old Sir Brooke Robertson, his friend and sponsor, 
and the ladies of the foreign community had been 
broken in to his morning pulse and tongue inspections, 
(they could themselves tolerate no clothing beyond 
a thin dressing-gown on a damp summer's day); he 
thought a nice, clean silk or grass-cloth {ko() robe 
would set off his figure just as well as clammy ducks 
or frowsy alpaca. The ice thus once broken, he went 



220 HUMANITAS 

on to "drop his pigtail," put on regular Chinese un- 
mentionables, carry a fan instead of a cane, and wear 
orthodox thick paper shoes. 

He was exceedingly respected by all Europeans ; but 
he did not care much about " society " ; which, in Canton, 
means eating and drinking too much, wasting time, 
sweating in uncomfortable clothes, and going to church ; 
one and all of which Dr. Wong (like myself) found 
most dismal entertainments. But I often went over to 
Dr. Wongf's *' diggings " on the Honam side of the river, 
(which is locally called hoi^ " the sea "), and discussed 
matters with him. He had a great respect for surgery, 
of which the Chinese are totally ignorant, and he kept 
up his reading very well ; but he was no great believer 
in " medicine," except a few notorious specifics, such as 
quinine, mercury, opium, iodides, etc. ; nor do I believe 
that, in his heart of hearts, he was a Christian ; — that 
is, he did not care for, nor associate much with any 
of the missionaries ; he did not go to either church or 
chapel (towards the end) ; nor did he accept any man's 
views as to what he ought to believe or disbelieve. 
Yet he was one of the most " Christian " men I ever 
met ; and in kindness, truthfulness, and virtue he was 
as good as any average priest or parson : perhaps 
better. 

He was never married, and lived with his sister ; in 
purely Chinese style so far as his esoteric arrangements 
{i.e, all but the surgery) were concerned ; destitute of 
wife or concubine : he never drank or smoked, not even 



WHAT SAYS THE LEECH? 221 

tobacco ; he was a great believer in Chinese simples : 
so was I, and I always cured myself of fevers, sore eyes, 
chills, and such like things by taking "old women's" 
remedies. I have mentioned an old Hakka woman at 
the^^am^n, who used to cut the grass, feed the deer, and 
bury Sir Brooke's superannuated dogs and cats: she 
was a quite good enough " consulting physician " for 
me ; and I several times accepted her prescriptions, 
which were approved by Dr. Wong. Even Abb^ Hue 
bears witness to the excellence of Chinese tisanes. 

Well, at last, poor Wong developed a fearful carbuncle 
on the back of his neck, and it carried him off. There 
was a rush from all sides for his practice ; but as a 
young American happened to be on the spot, he got 
it ; and so there was an end, probably for ever, of 
Chinese lady-doctors, or, rather, doctors for ladies. 

In connection with this subject I may mention that 
the Japanese show the highest aptitude in physic ; in 
Corea I never even consulted any but Japanese 
physicians, though there were plenty of Americans, 
naval and other. I once had quinsy, lumbago, and 
ureteritis, all at once ; brought on by getting wet, in 
thin clothes, on a windy day ; but the clever physicians 
Dr. Tanaka and Dr. Aoki pulled me admirably through 
all my ailments : their training was German. The 
Japanese are patient, and do not guess at ailments ; 
they always try to get to the " bottom -rock " of 
everything. 



222 HUMANITAS 

THE CHINESE LETTRE 

There were several teachers at Wfinchow, besides the 
one whose portrait is given here, but none of them 
were sympathetic or characteristic enough to be worthy 
of description. The Yangchow man was the official 
writer, and manifestly an individual of refined and 
scholarly temperament; but it was equally plain that 
he entertained no admiration for the barbarian, nor 
would he ever enter into a confidential conversation, 
except on purely literary matters : his attitude was 
coldly correct. The native Wfinchow teacher belonged 
to the half-starved, literary-hack class, who are too poor 
to think of anything beyond a daily fill of rice for 
themselves and their brood of chicks. He knew all the 
missionaries, and ridiculed in a good-humoured way 
the efforts of all but the Roman Catholic — an Italian, 
whom he and all other Chinese (except Catholic 
converts) feared and hated, chiefly because they did 
not understand the discipline and mystery of Catholic 
ways. The old Buddhist priest from the temple hard by 
was a mediaeval production : like nearly all Chinamen, 
he was shrewd, and by no means ignorant of the vices 
of mankind ; but he was thoroughly humble, honest, 
and kind-hearted ; just (to excessive leniency), and 
willing to listen to reason : within the narrow limits 
of his mind and habits, I found him the best instructor 
of all : he was a sort of natural-born John Henry 
Newman, of coarse fibre. 



"WOMAN WILL, OR WONT" 223 

The Ningpo man was specially employed in order 
to describe official rascalities, and to illustrate the 
etymological connection of dialects between the north 
and south halves of Ch^h Kiang. His chief charac- 
teristic was subtlety, of the cynical and unrelenting kind 
only conceivable in a country where it is indispensable 
for a poor man to curry favour with and to avoid offend- 
ing the great. We used to read novels together, and he 
was wont to explain with the most cold-blooded pre- 
cision the various arts of the harem hinted at therein, 
the science of which proves that neither Turks nor 
Frenchmen are capable of teaching John Chinaman 
very much in that particular line ; one of the most 
uncomfortable of his stories was how women occa- 
sionally got rid of men by running a bristle deftly 
into the navel of a sleeping lover. 

Another European, or, rather, an American, employed 
this Ningpo teacher too ; and on the occasion of a riot, 
when all the foreign houses were destroyed in one night 
by fire, the wily Chinaman obtained the great oppor- 
tunity of his life \.o faire fortune. He sent in a claim for 
about twelve suits of silk clothes, a valuable library, 
and various watches and jewels. His American 
master assured me that he originally arrived from 
Ningpo with a bundle weighing about two pounds in all, 
and I myself had never seen him wear more than two 
greasy shifts : but his explanation was ingenious : he 
had kept clothes and heirlooms suitable to his rank 
carefully by, until such time as he could have saved 



224 HUMANITAS 

enough to wear them ; the valuable books of reference 
were necessary in order to hunt up the profound posers 
with which I and his other employer were always 
plying him ; and he was responsible to friends for 
their value ; his savings (in Hongkong Bank notes) 
had perished in the flames. 

A few days after his " list of claims " had been 
privately sent in to me through the American, I took 
the rogue by surprise, and asked him to write down 
what he had lost. He gave me a knowing look of 
deadly depth, and then proceeded to think. I said : 
" Surely you need not think so long about it ; you 
must know how many pairs of trousers and coats 
you had." But he was too much for me : he managed 
to recollect infallibly all he had written before ; and 
so, in the absence of proof that he was lying, I 
passed his claim, which was duly paid. My own boy 
had the impudence to put in a claim for one hundred 
and twenty dollars, for "the first week's refreshments 
supplied to the distressed missionaries " ; but when I 
called him a scoundrel, and told him I was entertaining 
them at my own expense, he said : " There is no need 
to be angry ; I withdraw it. Six dollars will cover the 
whole. Of course I thought you would send in a 
claim, and I wanted to make a little money out 
of it too, like the Ningpo man." 

These little matters well instance the difficulty in 
which a missionary is often bond fide placed. If he 
declines to assist his convert, who may have suffered 



"THREE POETS IN THREE AGES BORN" 225 

during an attack upon the mission, he knows perfectly 
well the mandarins will not do so : if he does assist, 
then he exposes himself to the risk of aiding a fraud, 
and to the reproach of allowing rascally Chinese to 
avail themselves of his troubles in order to obtain 
extortionate compensation for themselves. 



CHINESE POETRY 

It is impossible to enter into the soul of an alien race 
without gaining some slight insight into its popular 
ballad literature and poetry. The following is a 
translation, as nearly as possible word for word, of the 
very first of the ancient "classical" odes of the Shi 
King^ as collected and classified by Confucius. I trans- 
lated and published it about twenty-two years ago in 
these words ; (the original consists of four syllables 
to each line): — 

As the osprays woo 
On the river ait, 
So the graceful lass 
Hath her manly mate. 

As the coy marsh-flowers 
Here and there do peep, 
So the graceful lass 
In his wakeful sleep. 

But he seeks in vain, 
Brooding night and day. 
Ah me ! Ah me ! 
Tossing rest away t 

15 



226 HUMAN IT AS 

As the coy marsh-flower 
Chosen here and there, 
So the graceful lass; 
He's in tune with her. 

As the coy marsh-flower 
Gathered here and there, 
So the graceful lass; 
Bells now ring for her. 

The remarkable part about it is that a poem sung and 
written down between two thousand and three thousand 
years ago should be quite intelligible, in all dialects, 
at the present day. — At the same time were published 
translations of about fifty other poems, not by any 
means all of which it was so easy to confine within the 
bounds of English rhyme as the above ; but the 
following is a singularly tender and beautiful ex- 
ception : — 

Thou, (sweet and gentle lass !) 
Wert behind this wall to stay; 
Eager to see thy face, 
Have I fretted time away. 

Thou, (fair and gentle lass!) 
Gav'st me this pretty pen ; 
Pretty it seemed to me. 
For I thought of thee again. 

— And this rustic weed she brought! — 
Precious art thou, and fair t 
LoveHness, true, not thine, 
Yet lovely because of her! 

But perhaps the most touching of all is an historical 
poem composed over two thousand years ago by a 



"PITY 'TIS, 'TIS TRUE" 227 

Chinese girl of rank, who had been given in marriage, 
for political purposes, to a toothless old Tartar king 
in the region of modem Hi. I introduced it to the 
notice of the public about seven years ago, in the 
shape of a " text " to an Essay upon Chinese Philology 
{Giles' Dictionary) ; but it has been reserved to a 
sympathetic German fellow-student in the sinological 
field to render it into a language perhaps more apt 
even than the English to express sentimental feeling. 
With great ingenuity the skilful translator has given, 
not only a translation, almost word for word, but even 
(as nearly as possible) the same number and order of 
syllables for each verse as in the original : — 

Mein Geschlecht hat mich 

Achf verm&hlt, 
Mich geschickt, weit, weit! 

In die Welt. 

In dem femen Land 

Der WU'Sun^ 
Ach 1 des KOnig's Weib 

Bin ich nun. 

Ach 1 in einem Zelt 

Wohn' ich jetzt, 
Und die Hauswand, Filz 

Mir ersetzt. 

Meine Speise ist 

Fleisch allein, 
Kumyss schenkt dazu 

Man mir ein. 

Ach li es brennt mein Herz 

Seit ich hierf 
Mir der Heimath denkt's 

For und fOr. 



228 



HUMANITAS 

Gelber Kranich sein 
MOcht ich gleich, 

FlOg' dann schnell zurQck 
In mein Reich. 



The English might run : — 

My folk have wedded me, 

Here, toward 
The ends of the world, to a 

Tartar lord. 

A tent is my mansion and 

Felt its wall, 
Milk to drink, flesh to eat; 

This is all. 

Ah 1 but 'tis sad to dwell 

Here alone ; 
Would I were winged to fly 

Back to homel 

In the original Chinese there are only twelve lines, 
each line containing alternately five or three mono- 
syllables. It will thus be seen that the English 
language is, after all, the one which can best imitate 
the terse composition of the forlorn maiden, which 
requires doubling in bulk for expression in intelligible 
German : but neither of the two can adequately express 
the simple vigour of the Chinese. 



CHAPTER XI 



ARMY AND NAVY 



THE CHINESE ARMY 



IN the winter of 1870 three of us were returning 
south in a sleet-storm one evening, after some 
weeks* travel on horseback in the region of the Great 
Wall ; we were making for a town called Shih-hiah, 
one day's journey from the well-known Kupeh K'ou 
Pass, in the neighbourhood of the Eastern Tombs ; 
drenched, sullen, and miserable. A jingle of bells 
advancing caused us to look up, and there was a 
comfortable-looking little barber, wearing a pork-pie 
hat and carrying his brass basin, jauntily urging on his 
sleek donkey at full speed. He shook his open hand 
in such a cheerful way as he shouted : " There's not a 
single place to be had," that one of my companions 
growled : " I'd like to screw the fellow's neck round." 

When we reached the outskirts of the town, we 
were rather rudely accosted by some soldiers ; as we 
advanced, they increased in numbers, grew threatening, 
and used insolent language. It seemed, from what the 

innkeepers told us, that five thousand men had arrived 

329 



230 ARMY AND NAVY 

that day in connection with some Russian scare far 
away towards the north, and in quartering themselves 
upon the town they had occupied every nook and 
corner of each available room in it. 

Our plight was indeed a wretched and hopeless 
one, especially when, in approaching an enclosure 
bedecked with lamps and flags, we overheard the 
words " General Ch'ang," and perceived, from the 
haughty bearing of the guards, that we were now at 
the entrance to the ya (headquarters). Suddenly an 
inspiration came over me, and a desperate resolve seems 
to have formed itself without any conscious cerebration. 
I turned my horse's head straight into the gateway, 
shouting out : " Conduct me instantly to his Excellency 
Ch'ang: we have documents issued by Prince Kung 
in our possession, and the man who insults the 
Imperial seal had better look out for his head." 

This " tall order " had at least the effect of temporarily 
dispersing the soldiers, who were now angrily pulling 
at the bridle to jostle me back ; and soon a sub-officer 
came quietly but dubiously forward to parley. However, 
I protested the "case" was so serious that General 
Ch'ang in person must explain the insulting attitude 
of his men ; so, after a wrangle outside the tent or 
shed (we could not see through the darkness very 
clearly) in which the commander was taking his ease, 
I was admitted individually, the other two remaining 
outside in the wet. 

Ushered into a small anteroom, I there had a 



"FOR THIS RELIEF MUCH THANKS" 231 

second wrangle with the clerks or secretaries, and had 
to exhibit my papers — simply a huge passport issued 
by Prince Kung as head of the Foreign Office. This 
was taken in, and the three names we then used. Pa 
(Parker), Pu (Bullock), and Kia (Gardner), seem to have 
at once exercised some unexplained effect upon the 
old general ; for, on my half forcing and half protesting 
my way into his sanctum^ in feigned indignation at 
this discourtesy of his to officials of rank and position, 
he came towards me with a delighted air, taking both 
my hands in his. He styled me " General Pa," and 
said how charmed he was to meet me again. 

Not in the least understanding this unexpected move- 
ment, I suggested to him that as Generals Pu and Kia 
were out in the rain and the cold, I could not well accept 
his hospitality until they should have been admitted too. 
They received from me as they entered a hasty hint 
to " follow the leader " in their conversation ; and then 
we all sat down in a nice warm room over pipes and 
tea, to chat over our former joint military operations 
or frontier delimitations in the north. Everything 
went off without a hitch, and we all grew enthusiastic, 
and even Jolly. We never succeeded in finding out 
what it all meant ; but we wanted lodgings, and 
General Ch'ang soon got them for us. That was the 
main point Apparently he mistook us for some 
Russian officers he had once met ; and, as the circum- 
stances were very urgent for us, we did not think it 
necessary to disabuse him. 



232 ARMY AND NAVY 



A WARRIOR IN TROUBLE 

At the best of valuations Chinese military officers 
are always regarded by civilian mandarins with that 
mixture of awe and contempt which we accord to 
professional pugilists, and all the more so because the 
bravest of them are wont to have been dangerous 
rebels, who have turned " king's evidence," or have been 
bought over ; for instance, Lao Vinh-phuc, the ex- 
Black Flag, now the military mainstay of Canton, is 
one of that ilk. Matters have become worse since 
i860 by the sale of office, the dearth of substantive 
promotions, and the superfluity of officers stranded after 
the recent wars and rebellions. Hence it is not un- 
common for a man in charge of a corporal's guard to 
have colonel's brevet rank, or for a gunboat captain 
to be a provincial-general in theory. My own servant 
was once offered a colonelcy, simply because he stood 
well up in his shoes ; and my learned friend Dr. Hirth 
accidentally discovered that his "horse-boy" was a 
major. Hence the point of the following story will 
not be so completely lost as if I had not " opened up 
my thesis " (as the Chinese essay-writers say) in the 
above way. 

One stifling autumn day a card was brought to me 
in my office, and I was informed that " the General 
of Yun Nan" had something important to say. A 
common-looking individual, more like a tailor than a 
warrior, was duly ushered in, and, of course, gradually 



"OUTRUN THE CONSTABLE AT LAST" 233 

brought his subject round to "borrowing money," — as 
nearly all Chinese seem to do when they call to pay 
compliments to a stranger. It is useless to argue with 
people who invent lies to meet every objection, so I 
simply said : " Will you kindly take a seat in the ne^tt 
room, and I will give you a letter to the A/>«?" 
(The hien pays piper for all seniors who "subscribe.") 
I then wrote in the consul's name : " I presume this 
man is a genuine general, as he shows his papers ; 
but, if so, it is evident that the Chinese authorities of 
Canton should themselves get up a subscription for 
him ; that is to say, if one of the Emperor's military 
officers is positively short of cash : the British Consulate 
has really nothing to do with such matters." 

Nothing more was heard of the case for some weeks : 
it had been forgotten ; when one day a petition was 
placed in my hands : it was from the gallant general, 
who was " doing time " in the hieris prison, and entreated 
the consul " for his old mother's sake " to get him out. 
It was not difficult to do this, and we did it : but what 
puzzled me, and what was never explained, was how 
a mere father-and-mother mandarin of low rank could 
presume to imprison a man with a red button. Not 
only a hien is, but even his superiors are very careful 
not to make a literary man kneel, or to humiliate him 
in any way ; at least until the formality of " removing 
his button " shall have been gone through by the 
viceroy or the governor. 

The man was really a common soldier, or at the 



234 ARMY AND NAVY 

most a corporal or sergeant ; apparently brevet titles 
had been scattered broadcast during the Panthay wars, 
just as the receipts and bonds for supplies to the Yiin 
Nan army were regarded at Canton as waste paper : 
one man, indeed, tried to get the British Consulate 
to "collect" such a bond. I was horrified when the 
skeleton of the unfortunate general came to thank me 
for my " kindness." I felt very sorry for having been 
the real cause of his misery, and as a penalty for my 
oflfence presented him with five dollars out of my own 
pocket, in order that he might hie himself back at 
least part of the way to Yiin Nan ; and to his " owloo " 
mother. 

A GALLANT ADMIRAL 

In these unpretending character pourtrayals I do 
not aim so much at sketching Chinese idiosyncracies 
upon general lines, as at giving definite facts as they 
occurred, before my own eyes, in connection with 
specific individuals ; hence I sum up for the jury as 
rarely and as little as I can, leaving that useful body 
(public opinion) to form its own verdict, subject to 
the indispensable " directions " on points of law and 
practice which are rightly reserved to the ermine. 
But Admiral Ho Tsin-shen of Ichang was so ex- 
ceptionally loyal, popular, efficient, and agreeable a 
mandarin that I really must "spread myself out" a 
little upon Hu Nan men in general, of whom he was 
one. As he himself said to me, when I enthusiastically 



"PILLARS OF THE STATE" 235 

praised him straight to his jolly fat face : " Hu Nan Jen 
pu-p^a-ssl* which runs best naturally, word for word, 
into " pidjin," as ** Hu Nan man no fear die." It is 
true. There is an indescribable something in the 
Hu Nan character which differentiates it from all other 
Chinese local character. The majority of both civil and 
military officials throughout the Empire are Hu Nan 
men, and, speaking generally, no mean action ever 
comes from Hu Nan: Hu-nani nihil a me alienuvi 
puto. That may seem rather a sweeping statement 
for a province which has always (up to very 
recently) been implacably anti-Christian ; but how 
pleasant to add that, since a few really patient and 
considerate missionaries, like Griffith John, have quietly 
proved their disinterestedness to the Hu Nan people, 
there is now no part of China where prospects are 
more hopeful! — that is, so long as religion is tolerant 
and human. I feel convinced Hu Nan will never be 
a successful Roman Catholic field. We must not 
confuse an essentially truthful and loyal mind which 
occasionally errs, with the contrary class of mind 
which preserves, or tries to preserve, an impeccable 
attitude. The Hu Nan mind is honest, and the ^ 
body is honest too ; the people are poor and 
durable, like their native homespun ; the dialects are 
so rough that it is not easy to be intimate — 
possibly for that reason there is a certain Scotch 
clannishness : any way, as a rule Hu Nan bodies of 
men (soldiers, etc) must be commanded by officers 



236 ARMY AND NAVY 

of their own province ; outsiders can never be '* in " 
with them unless they learn the dialects. The 
province has never, I think, been conquered ; has never 
furnished a dynasty, or set up in rebellion, or been 
the head of a separate empire : it is as virgin as 
the temperament of its inhabitants. Such fine men 
as Tsfing Kwoh-fan, P'6ng Yiih-lin, Tso Tsung-t'ang, 
and Liu K'un-yih could only hail from Hu Nan. 

Admiral Ho "sat" for many years as Brigadier- 
General of the Ichang division ; but his chief service 
to the public at large was done in connection with 
the navigation of the gorges and the rapids ; he also 
had under him a very efficient life-saving " navy," 
locally called " red boats." One of these accompanied 
me most of the way up river; and one is stationed 
at every dangerous spot, in order to render gratuitous 
assistance to any and every person. If (as daily 
happens) a cargo-junk breaks adrift, gets into a 
whirlpool, or snaps her rope above a rock, out flies 
a red boat like a spider from some concealed nook, 
and with a few sweeps of her powerful oars is on 
the spot within a few seconds to seize on (and save, 
not devour) the poor struggling flies. 

I exchanged visits with Admiral Ho, and we had 
lunch and "drinks" together. He was not in the 
faintest degree blatant or boastful, but he told me of 
his work, and of the pleasure he felt in his usefulness. 
He was personally acquainted with ** every inch" of 
the rapids, and had published an Itinerary, giving full 



"THE LAW OF MEDES AND PERSIANS" 237 

particulars touching every rock, eddy, race, whirlpool, 
and danger for two hundred miles. This I translated 
and published (in substance) twenty years ago : it forms 
the basis of all our earliest European notions about the 
"navigation of the rapids." 

Admiral Ho's men were as loyal and hearty as 
himself, and made my journey upwards a keen 
pleasure throughout A few years later he **went 
back" to his original family of Lo, his services being 
required in connection with the operation of what the 
Chinese call " borrowing a cock for eggs," — i,e. adopt- 
ing and readopting ; or, if necessary, marrying two 
women and founding two separate families. As 
Chang-^rh put it : *^ One lamp lights two bedrooms." 

A SOLDIER OF THE OLD SCHOOL 

T'lEN Tsai-t'ien ("Fields within fields") was a 
native of Shan Tung, and occupied the important 
post of Chungking Brigadier when I was there in 
1 880- 1. The then Viceroy of Canton, Chang Shu- 
sheng, had been an old comrade-in-arms, and so soon 
as he heard I was going to Sz Ch'wan, he volunteered 
to give me a letter of introduction to T'ien, which 
civility secured me many succulent Chinese dinners and 
merry friends. Brigadier T'ien appeared to be a man 
of fifty-five years, but, being a heavy opium-smoker 
and emaciated, he might have seen fewer. In 1859 he 
had already been Brigadier of T'ai-yiian Fu in Shan Si, 



238 ARMY AND NAVY 

whence he was ordered oflf to Yiin Nan to assist in 
quelling the Mussulman revolt. He did not go, how- 
ever, but served during the next two years against 
the northern branch of the Taiping rebels, known as 
the Nien Fei. One of his fellow-officers engaged on 
this duty was the Judge Wu T'ang, afterwards for 
many years Viceroy of Sz Ch'wan : in 1861 they 
both gained great credit through achieving the relief 
of Suh Chou in North An Hwei, a spot which from 
200 B.C. to A.D. 1900 has always been a point de 
repaire for rebels of the " Boxer " type. 

I used to go about once a month to little tete-d-tite 
dinners with T'ien Tsai-t'ien in his own yamin : his 
wife and daughters were allowed to giggle behind a 
screen, but he never accorded me a glance at their 
" coy and furtive graces " ; nor did they. In the middle 
of dinner he always used to "ask leave" for about 
twenty minutes in order to fortify himself with a 
smoke, in which solace his wife heartily joined ; 
besides that they smoked all night together, and rose 
in the afternoon. I used to employ these odd 
moments between courses by "coughing" and other- 
wise " carrying on " with the mysterious persons 
behind the screen ; but of course in strict propriety, 
and following the laws of the game, — i.e, never rising 
from my seat in order to peep. 

The military feebleness of the gallant brigadier 
was as striking as his civil behaviour. He made no 
secret of the fact that he was " enjoying happiness " 



"THE BLOOD OF ALL THE HOWARDS" 239 

as a reward for past hardships. He peculated more 
than half the pay allowed for his legions, which 
existed to so very nebulous an extent that, on 
the memorable occasion when I was attacked by 
the populace, I did not even send word to him ; but 
called upon the magistrate (a doughty Mongol) to come 
in person with his effective police. After the " row " 
was over. Brigadier T'ien, as the official of highest 
rank, was chairman at a consolatory banquet given 
to me by all the civil and military officials (at 
the Mongol hieri^ expense). It was exceedingly hot ; 
and so, after greetings had been exchanged between 
all the guests in full uniform, he and the taotai proposed 
that the company should sit barebacked, with nothing 
but our trousers on. (I may mention that even 
princes do this at Peking in the summer time.) I was 
unable to yield to these blandishments beyond the 
limit of the singlet ; and so they, to accommodate 
my modesty, did not strip beyond their very grimy 
cotton shirts. On this occasion my " boy " was invited, 
two days before the feast, to cook a foreign dish ; 
but he resisted so violently that I could not help 
suspecting some chinoiserie behind his indignation : 
it transpired that "if you happen to take something 
that disagrees with you, they will say I did it." I 
must confess the idea of poison had independently 
struck me too ; but I felt confident (not in their virtue, 
but) that under the circumstances it would not pay 
my hosts to get rid of me in that way ; moreover, I 



240 ARMY AND NAVY 

had not been in any way " nasty," and Chinese officials 
will not injure you so long as you are genial. The 
Brigadier-General opened the feast by pledging me in 
a cup of "almond tea," — enough to poison a Quakers' 
party : but I drained it off at one breath. 

I chiefly remember T'ien Tsai-t'ien on account of 
some scientific information he gave me about Norfolk- 
Howards. I was relating how curious it was that 
my curtains were always covered with them in the 
inns, but that they never touched me. He said : 
" Don't you know the best way to deal with them ? 
I always sleep barebacked, and they don't like being 
either on or under the coverlet ; so, when I feel that 
two or three are gathering in a convenient part of my 
shoulder, by an ingenious twist I just get them on the 
corner of the pillow and crush them without having to 
get up, leaving them to dry there in a cake." The 
Chinese pillow is a hard aff'air, constructed out of 
bamboo or wood, covered with oil-silk ; the neck of 
the sleeper (not the head) rests on the smooth shank, 
and the two ends spread out so that the pillow stands 
on the four hard points whichever way you turn it : 
hence T'ien's shrewd scheme. 

THE CHINESE NAVY 

Admiral Lang was just succeeding nicely in his 
arduous and self-sacrificing task of instilling ideas of 
discipline into the new and costly Chinese navy, re- 
organised under the superintendence of the Emperor's 



"THY HABIT RICH, NOT GAUDY" 241 

father (died 1891), when by a stupid insult from one 
of his captains on cruise, weakly countenanced by 
the vacillating Li Hung-chang, the connection was 
summarily cut short, and the gallant officer declined, 
in the absence of apology, to continue longer in Chinese 
employ than was absolutely necessary to bring the 
cruise to an end. Admiral Ting (a mere dummy) and 
Admiral Lang were joint " admiral in command," for the 
purposes of the Singapore cruise ; but when Admiral 
Ting left Hongkong for a short run to Hoihow 
(taking the opportunity to run aground and damage 
his ship there), the next Chinese captain in command 
at Hongkong hauled down the Admiral's flag, and 
had the impudence to hoist his own as ''senior 
officer remaining in the Admiral's absence"; thus 
ignoring the seniority of his own instructor, and the 
participation of the second flesh in the one and in- 
divisible substance. 

However, I knew nothing of these matters then : all 
I knew was that my friend Admiral Ting, whom I had 
last seen on July 4, 1885, at Chemulpho, had turned up 
at Pagoda Anchorage with half a dozen brave ironclads. 
Knowing also that Admiral Lang was engaged in 
working up the fleet into shape and discipline, and 
would therefore at once detect any flaws in my 
irregular "uniform," 1 decided to utilise a tall hat I 
had just brought out from England, and to go on 
board in *' semi-state," or " Hyde Park costume." 

Off the gig went in fine style, the boatmen in 

16 



242 ARMY AND NAVY 

their well-washed uniforms and fine, broad-brimmed 
straw hats, edged with blue, and each with a little 
Union Jack sewn on to it. The human apparition in 
the tall hat sat in the stern-sheets, and handled the 
ropes with that deftness born of long local practice; 
and so at last we came smartly alongside. Never, 
I believe, in the history of Pagoda Anchorage had 
a tall silk hat been seen before; never, certainly, had 
one been seen in a gig on official visits bent. As we 
neared the right ironclad (having first gone to the 
wrong one), I noticed the two deck-officers spying 
out with their telescopes the curious object sitting in 
the stern. When I stepped on to the quarter-deck 
and saluted, the lieutenant once more scanned the hat, 
closely examined the card, and asked, in reply to 
my query : " Is the Admiral on board ? " : " Which 
Admiral ? " 

I said : " Whichever is on board." 

He said : " Well, neither is on board. May I ask 
who you are?" 

I replied : " There is my flag." 

" What is your rank ? I wish to fire a salute." 

" Oh I not at alL Our men-of-war seldom salute in 
port ; besides, you see, I have not come in uniform." 

He looked at the hat once more, and having hurriedly 
consulted what looked like either a flag-book or a 
hand-book, repeated : " Certainly, I must fire a salute." 

As I shuffled down, somewhat doubtfully, if not 
abjectly, into the gig, a piping began : I heard 






"FROM LIVELY TO SEVERE" 243 

scamperings of feet, and noticed the quartermaster 
fumbling at his halyards. Under these circumstances, 
I thought I had better "easy oars," so as not to 
reach the wharf before the guns went off, if he was 
resolved to let them off; at the same time placing 
the gig out of the line of fire, lest the "dreadful 
engines " should be loaded by mistake with shot or 
shell. But for some unexplained reason the guns never 
did go off after all. 

" What are they doing, Jack ? " I asked (too proud 
to look back). 

" No makey nuffin, massa,'' replied honest Jack. 

" Then go ahead ! " And dejectedly we betook us 
home. 

The next day (Sunday) the gallant Captain Pocock 
(afterwards murdered) and myself \yere privately 
" tiffining " with Admiral Lang ; in mufti, of course ; 
and I told the above story by way of capping others of 
the same kind related by him. But Admiral Lang 
took the matter seriously, and announced his intention 
of teaching the deck-officers a lesson. Orders were 
given to get the saluting guns ready at once "for 
the British Consul." We had nothing to go off in 
but a dirty old Chinese sampan^ without a flag of 
any kind ; and we were both dressed in common 
tweed suits. However, as we stepped in, up went 
the signal : " Hoist the Union Jack." The sampan 
wabbled off, we two steadying ourselves, as we re- 
spectfully stood up, against the mat roofing of Captain 



244 ARMY AND NAVY 

Pocock's hired craft ; and thus I received the belated 
honour of seven guns on a Sunday afternoon. 

It was probably this stupid treatment of Admiral 
Lang by the supercilious Chinese that subsequently 
delivered their fleet indirectly into Japanese hands. 

AN INSTIGATOR OF REBELLION 

On one occasion subsequent to the British occupation 
of Bhamo, a sudden rush was stated to have been made 
on that place by the Chinese ; but as I was not there 
at the time, I merely allude to the fact, or the tradition, 
as showing that such a risk was contemplated, and 
guarded against as being always possible. 

One day my Chinese fing-cJiai approached me very 
mysteriously, and said in a whisper that certain news 
had reached his ears to the effect that a Burmese 
fugitive pretender had commissioned a Chinese soldier 
to carry the princely seal over the frontier and levy 
troops in the vicinity of Bhamo, in order to stir up 
revolt. He was so very anxious that I, too, should 
speak in a whisper, that I naturally enquired what 
immediate danger there was to me. He then made 
the uncomfortable announcement that the soldier in 
question was actually in my own house at that moment, 
and that he had obtained nominal employment there 
as cook to my writer. The fing^diars suspicions had 
first been aroused by the soldier's asking in a round- 
about but persistently ** casual " way in which corner of 



1 

1 





V' 



"AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER?" 245 

the room I slept, and whether I was always armed. 
By degrees the above information was wormed out of 
the man in a thoroughly Chinese way, — carefully 
described to me, but unnecessary and tedious to relate 
here at length. The writer was pronounced by my 
informant quite innocent of collusion, and the soldier's 
motive in ascertaining all about me was stated to be 
the desire to prevent me, as the only official person 
likely to detect the plot, from fixing responsibility 
upon the Chinese abettors. It was also suggested 
that he wanted revenge for the surrender of his comrade 
the murderer, {vide p. 142). 

Several days elapsed before it was possible to effect 
the man's arrest in legal form, and meanwhile my 
head rested rather uneasily o' nights upon its pillow. 
Nothing of a compromising nature was found on the 
man's person ; but it accidentally turned out that he 
had been shadowed on several occasions to a Chinese 
barber's shop ; that, however, was not considered very 
important by the t'ing-ch'aL But I thought differently. 
This barber was at once requested to come and cut 
my hair ; and as he jauntily walked in, armed with 
his tonsorial implements, I suddenly clutched him 
by the collar, and asked : ** Where's that seal ? " Of 
course he pretended to be totally ignorant of what I 
was talking about; but when he saw the t'tng-ch'at 
grimly eying him, and heard of the soldier's arrest ; 
when he was, moreover, informed that his shop was 
going to be searched, he at last decided, after a long 



246 ARMY AND NAVY 

series of attempts at denial, to admit the fact that the 
soldier bad one day requested permission to bury 
some unknown object for safety in his (the barber's) 
shop, whilst he (the soldier) was engaged upon " other 
matters." To his own shop he was at once taken under 
escort, and there the seal was at last found, buried some 
depth beneath the floor. The barber's services were 
afterwards utilised as an informer in order to trace 
the ramifications of the alleged plot, and the soldier 
was brought up for trial, or, rather, for examination. 

There was evidence that a certain number of Chinese 
desperadoes had really been in touch with the mentha^ 
or Burmese " prince," and it seemed likely that some 
ill-defined intrigue had really been contemplated by the 
prisoner ; moreover, the unfortunate soldier was quite 
unable to explain on any intelligible hypothesis his 
possession of a Burmese royal seal : the allegation that 
he used it for "stamping cakes with " was scarcely 
acceptable to the most charitably disposed mind. But 
there was no real evidence on which to convict in due 
English form of any serious offence ; and so the man 
was simply dealt with under local ordinance as a 
vagabond without visible means of subsistence, and 
removed from Bhamo for a period of surveillance. 

CAPTAIN CH'^N 

The Chinese mandarindom may (without disrespect to 
either of them) be compared with certain defective parts 
of the British army organisation before the Boer war. 



*' BACKING YOUR FRIENDS" 247 

Excellent principles, smart uniforms, little responsibility, 
so long as " form " was maintained ; great dignity 
unmistakable "position," with now and then an agree- 
able outing ; but above all, absence of thoroughness, 
preparation, and capacity to deal promptly and 
effectively with sudden situations. (I do not include 
the admirably Indian army in these remarks.) Hende 
it comes to pass that service "sticks" and service 
"hacks" are too often developed in both cases out of 
well-disposed and " correct," but unpractical men ; whilst 
in times of danger or emergency unexpected outsiders 
come to the front, and by the sheer force of their 
ability elbow aside the more ornamental administra- 
tors, who dodge about between red tape and divided" 
responsibility for their own official safety. I, for one, 
believe the Boer war will do our "leisured classes" a 
power of good, if only through showing common men 
like myself that dukes are as ready as cooks to be 
shot at when the old country's honour is in question. 
Captain Ch'^n's one secret of success was that he 
possessed the rare faculty of seeing straight before his 
nose, instead of diplomatically envisaging objects round 
the corner, or juggling with facts in order to " round 
off" the situation (as the native literary men express 
it). I am not sure but what I myself had unwittingly 
something to do with his rise ; at all events, he was 
first discovered by me in the act of superintending 
the construction of some new forts at Hoihow, destined 
to command the straits between the French port of 



248 ARMY AND NAVY 

Haiphong and the English colony of Hongkong ; and 
my able colleague Julius Neumann of the Maritime 
Customs spoke of him very highly. This military con- 
struction work had probably been ordered by the 
energetic Viceroy Chang Chl-tung, who had been suc- 
ceeded at Canton by the rapacious but courtly Li 
Han-chang (elder half-brother of Li Hung-chang) shortly 
before I arrived on the spot. Captain Ch'fin personally 
supervised the works with great energy ; he had his 
men under complete control ; possessed European 
specifications and plans which enabled him to construct 
really serviceable forts ; and made himself agreeable to 
all those foreign officials who came in his way, — and 
were reciprocally disposed towards him. At last, as a 
reward for this special service, he was unexpectedly 
promoted at one bound to the important acting post of 
military commandant, or "colonel," at Hoihow. This 
gave him a large yamen of his own, and considerable 
state ; his supposed " influence " with the barbarian 
even led his civil superior the taotai (practically governor 
of the island) to occasionally entrust him with delicate 
** diplomatic " negotiations. And thus I left him ; but I 
do not know if he is still in favour. 

However, the point is this. Captain Ch'^n was 
such a " straight " man that you could extract 
definite information on esoteric matters from him ; and 
I was thus able to confirm, under ocular illustration, 
certain floating notions I had possessed about Chinese 
yamin life. He had a wife — pass^e^ of course — who 



'*A LION AMONG LADIES" 249 

ruled the roast in that watchful and relentless way in 
which capable Frenchwomen cTun certain Age rule a busy 
caft^. Captain Ch't^n bought, sold, and exchanged con- 
cubines freely, this freedom evidently being the common 
basis upon which agreeable " terms " had been made be- 
tween himself and his wife. ** You have the pleasure ; 
I have the power." Like a sensible man, he always 
showed formal respect to his wife ; and, although he 
never took her to the various forts, camps, and war- 
junks in or on which he was from time to time 
employed for months at a stretch, he always consulted 
her ; left the purse-strings in her charge ; and gave her 
" feminine " command over all the concubines and 
"slaveys" not actually with him. 

Captain Ch'^n was as honest as it is possible for a 
Chinaman to be under his average circumstances. Of 
course it cannot be supposed that he did not make 
money out of such a big contract as that of the 
enormous forts — half a million taels, I think ; but he 
did not lay himself out to make money. He kept the 
garrisons entrusted to him in a solvent and efficient 
condition ; and he maintained public order without 
fear or favour, endeavouring to secure justice for 
missionaries and merchants alike. He was in his 
conversation rather an ignorant man ; but that does 
not matter much in China, where speech takes a back 
seat, viceroys talk rustic brogues, and " writing fellows " 
are provided for all officials, civil and military. It is 
like our Law : the point is not so much to know it, as 



250 ARMY AND NAVY 

to know where to have it I do not like to say much 
more about Captain Ch'dn, lest I should interfere 
with his future prospects ; but I consign a paragraph 
to him here in order to instance how one occasionally 
comes across very fair-minded and reasonable man- 
darins in even the remotest parts of China* 

ADMIRAL TING 

This brave but incapable officer committed suicide 
on February 12, 1895 ; that is, on the occasion of the 
capitulation of Wei-hai Wei to the Japanese. Most of 
his officers behaved well, but the soldiers and sailors 
either mutinied or refused to fight, and four of the 
ironclads which I had so often visited were sunk. 
Admiral Ting's last letter to the Japanese commander 
was a remarkably touching and manly document 

I first made his acquaintance at Chemulpho in 
1885, at the time when he was in full enjoyment of his 
yellow jacket, and of the other honours conferred upon 
him by the Emperor of China as a reward for the 
thoroughly Celestial service of having treacherously 
kidnapped the King of Corea's father, whom he had 
invited (August, 1882) to a jollification on board his 
flagship. At that time the Japanese envoy Hanabusa 
was threatening the feeble King, on account of his 
domineering father's anti-Christian and anti-Japanese 
zeal. Meanwhile, Yiian Sht-k'ai, with masterly rapidity, 
threw his whole army into Soul, and re-established 
Chinese influence by a sudden coup (Tdtat. In the 



«OH, WHAT A FALL WAS THERE!" 251 

winter of 1 884 occurred a second struggle, in which the 
Japanese again came off second best, and the European 
envoys had to "make tracks" to their own houses. In 
October, 1885, Yuan ShY-k'ai brought the King's father 
back, and the next year the triumphant Chinese navy 
was thoroughly reorganised under the supreme manage- 
ment of the Emperor's father, the late Prince Ch'un, 
with Admiral Ting as commander-in-chief of the 
northern division. The fortunes of the dynasty had 
never looked so smiling as at that moment; at least, 
ever since the war of 1842. 

After this, Captain Lang, R.N^ was prevailed upon 
to come out to China once more, with a view to taking 
this promising " northern fleet " in hand ; he and 
Lieutenant-Commander Ching, R.N., had already done 
good service to the Chinese in 1877, by bringing out 
for them the first squadron of " mosquito " gunboats. 
Captain Lang was in Shanghai hard at work organising 
things for the new fleet in February, 1888. After 
preliminaries had been knocked into shape a little, it 
was thought well to show China's flag in the south seas, 
where the ambitious Viceroy Chang ChY-tung of Canton 
felt anxious to re-establish the old Celestial influence. 
At that time he thought the Germans ** mild folk," 
and was particularly anxious to clip the naughty 
British wings. Japan and Manila were first visited 
by the fleet, and then preparations were made for a 
cruise to Singapore, Batavia, Siam, Penang, and Burma. 

It was whilst the ships were at Hongkong on this 



252 ARMY AND NAVY 

cruise that occurred the above-described incident {vide 
p. 241) which may be said to have indirectly led, in part 
at least, to China's defeat by Japan. When Admiral 
Lang complained, Li Hung-chang foolishly sent an 
evasive answer, practically confirming this ungracious 
act. Admiral Lang, notwithstanding the gross insult, 
magnanimously allowed the matter to stand over 
until the southern cruise should have completed, so 
as to avoid " swapping horses in mid-stream " ; he 
then firmly announced his intention to resign, and 
did so. Over and over s^ain Li Hung-chang en- 
deavoured, directly and indirectly, to induce the British 
Admiralty to lend him another man ; but, in the 
absence of an official apology, nothing was ever done ; — 
at least, nothing beyond getting out some minor 
instructors, in an underhand way. 

It was on the two admirals* return from the southern 
cruise that Admiral Ting paid me his hilarious " state " 
visit at Pagoda Anchorage : he was very uproarious, 
and evidently well pleased with himself after his 
successful cruise. — After Admiral Lang's departure, 
the discipline of the fleet at once relaxed ; and when 
real war came, the Japanese of course promptly made 
mincemeat of it. Admiral Ting was left without 
proper orders or supplies, and therefore took poison ; 
dying like a gentleman and a man of honour, — accord- 
ing to his lights. 



'THE STINK OF YOUR CAMPS" 253 



A COREAN ADMIRAL 

One of the most agreeable experiences I ever under- 
went was my official visit to the Corean Admiral 
of Shui-ying (= water-camp), near Pusan, or Fusan. 
It is difficult to gain any idea of the historical interest 
of this post without some knowledge of the wars of 
Kublai Khan and Hideyoshi : how the haughty Mongol 
wished to conquer Japan, and spent years in " working 
up " the Corean navy ; how he established stations 
all along the coasts of Corea and Quelpaert ; how at 
last his whole force (chiefly Manchus and Coreans) 
was utterly annihilated in Spanish Armada fashion by 
a convenient storm. Then, as to Hideyoshi, the story 
of this man's doings is as celebrated in Far Eastern 
annals as the tale of Don John of Austria in Europe. 
The old town of Torai (Tung-lai), near Fusan, is 
historically as interesting as Cadiz or Dunkirk, and it 
remains now exactly as it was centuries ago. Hideyoshi 
was an adventurer with Napoleonic ideas ; his aim was 
to create a diversion in home politics by sending his 
Christian generals, like so many Uriahs, to the front ; 
and then, if possible, to make them conquer China for 
him through Corea. Corea fell like a pack of cards ; 
but the decaying Ming dynasty made an unexpected 
spurt in defence of its vassal, and Hideyoshi's sudden 
death put an end to his grandiose ideas. All this 
took place three hundred years s^o; and many were 
the fierce fights, under the flag of the Admiral of 



254 ARMY AND NAVY 

Shui-ying, that raged in Fusan waters: artillery was 
freely employed. 

During the short fortnight of my pseudo-Smerdis- 
like regime at that place, I made many excursions 
to Deer Island, Torai, and the environs, and of course 
hunted up the historical admiral, who lives in a sort 
of fortress-town of his own. There is a story of a 
Russian sentry still standing somewhere in St Peters- 
burg, in order to prevent any one from plucking the 
rose Catherine the Great ordered his predecessor to 
protect ; but here was a genuine case of an admiral 
enjoying vast emoluments, without even a sampan^ 
and fattening on the traditions of three hundred years 
2%o, I may mention that the Corean nyangpan^ or 
" gentleman," is, (though a ridiculously funny fellow in 
our t,y^^^ a remarkably refined specimen of humanity 
for so bucolic a country. So wide an abyss is that 
which separates a gentleman {geborener) from a mere 
man, that the word nam (" fellow ") is used by the gentry, 
instead of the word " man," in order to indicate the low 
or " un "-born ; he is addressed in the third person as 
i-noin^ or " that fellow." It is as though a Frenchman 
should ask " Oh va cet individu ? " instead of " Oh 
alleZ'Vous, Monsieur?** 

But the learned and gallant Admiral of Shui-ying 
fairly took my breath away. He was in figure and 
feature a typical English or Anglo-Indian retired 
colonel, of the slimmest and most dressy type. The 
expression of his face was one of the highest courtesy 



"A . . . LORD, NEAT, TRIMLY DRESSED" 255 

and fine breeding. His hands were perfectly clean, 
and, what is more, dry ; with pared nails fit for a Lord 
Chesterfield. Without the faintest constraint of manner, 
he talked in that rapid, authoritative, and yet gentle way 
which one might imagine in a Russian diplomatist of 
the most insinuating type; even to my ^^ntchtgeborenen'' 
Corean interpreter, who stood behind me, he spoke 
sweetly and with a courteous deference, ingeniously 
avoiding the iSr, but never giving himself away by 
using a Ste\ or, better still, he managed, like an 
educated Italian can do, to dodge or float between 
the Lei and the Tu^ without actually uttering even the 
word Voi at all. The repast of cakes, tea, and wine 
was exquisite in its refinement; his teeth were in 
good order, and he did not shoot crumbs into your 
face whilst speaking (a hint which may hold good even 
for some persons of high rank at home): his written 
Chinese was perfect, and we soon gave up the coarse 
interpreter in favour of " pencil chat," telling each other 
what superior creatures we both were, and indulging in 
other philosophical disquisitions. 

Nothing can excel the vivid brightness of the fine, 
gay silks the Corean mandarins wear over their white 
robes. This man's horse-hair hat, merely as a work of 
art, must have cost him ten pounds sterling : it was 
surmounted by a " button " representing a bird, most 
artistically carved out of a piece of jade. As every 
one now knows, the Corean hat is shaped exactly 
like the old Welshwomen's hats of North Wales. So 



256 ARMY AND NAVY 

far as I could make out, his ** forces" consisted of 
about ten soldiers. Perhaps he was only there by 
accident ; for in Corea mandarins like to live at Soul, 
and to leave their provincial posts to be farmed by 
cunning stewards, in the good old Chinese style of 
the Ming dynasty, which they continue to imitate. 

CAPTAIN t6nG 

As a general rule the Chinese, unlike the Coreans, 
have not a Christian mind, — that is, they have not the 
humble and respectful natural deference which renders 
them susceptible to our religious teaching. This must 
not be confused with " religious mind," for the Coreans 
are much more robustly atheistic and much less actively 
superstitious than the Chinese. It is difficult to define 
a Christian mind without Christianity in general terms ; 
but it is perhaps possible to arrive indirectly at such a 
definition by describing specifically what sort of a man 
Captain T6ng really was. I know nothing of his origin 
because he spoke English so well that it was never 
necessary to utter a Chinese word in his presence ; but 
I believe he was a Cantonese. He had lived in New- 
castle, to which place he had been sent in order to watch 
the construction of one of the Armstrong cruisers, and to 
bring her out. I made his acquaintance at Chemulpho, 
at which place he remained, off and on, for some 
months. I think his ship was then the Yang-weiy but 
that point is not essential to the story. He was most 
anxious to improve his English " style," and it will there- 



VIRTUTIS AMORE 257 

fore be readily understood by all persons of taste and 
quality that he acted wisely and well in coming to me 
for light and grace. He used to write me a long letter 
every day ; and I duly corrected and returned it, to be 
read, marked, learned, and digested. It is quite possible 
that he may have been a Christian ; but, if so, the 
subject never came up between us. Anyway, I 
never saw a Chinaman who suggested to me so much 
of the old Puritan type of mind. Captain T6ng 
was always grave, calm, thoughtful, considerate, and 
courteous. He never smoked, drank, or amused him- 
self in any way ; but at the same time he always offered 
the usual refreshments, and would even light a cigarette 
to keep his guests in countenance. His ship and his 
men were always kept in excellent condition ; but he 
never fussed and fumed about, and was externally 
anything but severe. He left the impression of being 
very patriotic, and always seemed to be pondering over 
the prospects of his country. No one ever saw him 
put on foreign airs, as most Chinamen veneered (or 
smeared) with " civilisation " try to do ; that is, he 
never sprawled in easy chairs ; " got up " fancy con- 
versation in order to show off; puffed a cigar in 
nonchalant style ; asserted his " rights " ; tried to 
snub ; or burst into guffaws of laughter. It was not 
his practice to make squeezes on his ''oil and paint" 
(a common thing in the Chinese navy), or to dock his 
men's pay. 

In short, long before anything occurred to bring 

17 



258 ARMY AND NAVY 

his name before the public, Captain Tfing impressed 
me as being a noble-minded man ; and when the British 
marines were landed for a night at Chemulpho, I was 
exceedingly sorry to have to refuse his earnest request 
that I should send them back. His position was then 
very ridiculous : he was senior officer of a squadron of 
ironclads, all anchored in full view off the town, and 
there was one Japanese man-of-war there too ; but, by 
agreement between the Chinese and Japanese Govern- 
ments, not a man could be landed by either without 
mutual consent ; and the Chinese Consul had been told 
that unless he maintained order, the British marines 
would hold his settlement for him. I, of course, offered 
to let Captain Tfing do so instead, but "diplomacy" 
(which occasionally mars as well as makes a situation) 
stood remorselessly in his way. The tiny English craft 
lay in close, and might almost have been carried on 
the davits of the larger ironclads ; yet " diplomacy " (of 
an inferior or consular kind) made her mightier than 
fleets for the nonce. 

During the Japanese war of 1894, this brave officer's 
opportunity came, and he went down with his ship at 
the battle of the Yala In spite of his modesty and 
virtue, Captain Tfing was decidedly ambitious, and he 
possessed in high degree (for a Chinaman) both the 
mathematical and the naval capacity ; moreover, he 
possessed nerve, which is what usually fails soonest 
in fighting Chinamen. It is difficult to have sound 
nerve in the midst of cowardice, corruption, and 



"SWALLOWING A TAILOR'S NEWS" 259 

injustice ; and I doubt if our own officers would always 
have it under similar depressing conditions. When a 
man finds his superiors are writing private letters 
behind his back in a way likely to damage his career, 
and are persistently bent on deceiving themselves under 
his very nose, it is not easy to hold on unshaken to 
a just conclusion, amid shifting circumstances which 
vary with each new shift or double employed, and 
with each fresh attempt to tinker at the truth. I do 
not quite know the relations which subsisted between 
Admiral Ting and Captain TSng, but I do know that 
the gallant admiral, though a brave man, was grossly 
incompetent ; and I am satisfied Captain T^ng spent 
many bitter hours in reflecting upon the hopelessness 
of his aspirations. 

A MORE THAN ROYAL SALUTE 
It was a fine, brave sight to see the Chinese ironclads 
sail into Chemulpho harbour. They had already been 
there in force three months earlier, and I am now not 
quite sure on which occasion the 8i-gun salute took 
place ; but it did take place once. The King of Corea's 
birthday was on the 24th, and the U.S.S. Ossipee 
turned up on the 25th. As usual, ructions and revolu- 
tions were going on at Soul ; the Russians were sup- 
posed to be assembling vast fleets on the east coast ; 
marching gigantic armies across to the west coast ; 
Japanese and American officials — ministers, advisers, 
consuls — were making hurried visits to Tientsin and 



36o ARMY AND NAVY 

TokyS to " explain " ; and there was a general feeling 
that diplomatic history was being made in some way, 
but in a way much too occult for the ordinary, plain, 
consular mind. As a matter of fact (as I afterwards 
found), "some one had blundered," and, not under- 
standing a Chinese expression in a Corean newspaper, 
had mistaken a "three-masted surveying ship" for 
" thtee ships of war surveying ; " with the ultimate^result 
that this news had been telegraphed all over the world. 
But I knew nothing of this at the time ; all I knew 
was that fleets were there, and that consuls had to call 
officially on fleets. 

The Chinese fleet, or navy, had only just come into 
existence (in a Postal-Union sense) under the iegis 
of the poetical Prince Ch'un, father of the Emperor ; 
and up to this time no notice had ever been taken 
of it in matters of flags, calls, salutes, and forms 
generally ; its status was like that of the Turkish Post- 
Office, — " not much punkins." But in Corea the sun is 
never very oppressive ; my mildewed uniform needed 
an ^ring ; and 1 felt generally disposed to see strange 
men doing strange things ; and to have a fling ; so 00" 
I went with my flag in "somebody's" gig (I foi^t 
whose gig I borrowed). 

Admiral Ting had already exchanged visits with me 
a year before, and I don't think he was in port on this 
occasion ; however, the gallant Captain Tfing (subse- 
quently killed in the Japanese war) was there; also 
Captain Yeh, once a midshipman in our navy ; Captain 



"BLUSHING HONOURS THICK UPON HIM" 261 

Sah ; and others of less note. I think Captain T£ng 
was then too the senior officer; and so, being an old 
friend, he made no stint with his guns. 

Previous to this the Chinese had always resolutely 
adhered to their own custom of firing three guns, 
irrespective of rank. I don't know much about our 
own guns, but I believe seven is the utmost any 
consular officer can pretend to. However, I got nine, 
and to the inspiriting music of these nine guns I moved 
off to Captain Yeh's ship. All was in excellent order. 
Captain Tfing had been at Newcastle, but Captain Yeh 
had the polish of the best English school. I have 
always been under the impression that when the 
admiral or senior officer salutes a guest, no other can 
do so ; and in any case no guest gets two salutes in one 
day from the same squadron. This merely en passant^ 
for the subject never interested me more than the 
numerous other similar or analogous questions ; such 
as, where the guest is received ; who steps in or out 
of a boat first ; who calls first, on whom ; whether 
mufti or uniform should be worn ; and so on : all I 
know is that I invariably created a "situation," or 
made a mess of some sort, in my endeavours to be 
smart. However, to my intense surprise, nine more 
guns blazed away as I quitted the courtly Captain 
Yeh's ship to hie me over to Captain Sah's. This 
last-named energetic officer thought fit to " ante up " ; 
which made twenty-seven. At each place I had 
exhilarating refreshment, and the other captains, com- 



262 ARMY AND NAVY 

mandants, and lieutenants seem to have one and all 
yielded to the gladsome inspiration created by noise, a 
bright sun, and the champagne. It was such fun that, 
although I had not originally intended to visit more 
than one or two ships, I decided to go through the 
whole number. Whether the senior officer had signalled 
orders; whether the art of signalling was yet known 
to the Chinese ; or whether it was a plain, simple case 
of helpless blundering (a commoner explanation of 
mysterious official action than the public may think): 
whether they were anxious to show special respect to 
me ; or to England ; or to evince contempt for 
Russia, — all these things I know not ; but this I do 
know,— that, by the time I arrived at the last (a 
** mosquito" boat), 1 had received seventy-two guns 
all told. 

The mosquito boat was so dirty and uncomfortable 
that I merely stepped on board to assure the man 
in charge of my distinguished consideration ; but 
even this gave sufficient time to enable him to hiss 
hurriedly into my ear : " We can't fire our big forty-ton 
gun, and have nothing else but machine guns." The 
rattle of Hotchkisses, Catlings, and Gardners accordingly 
accompanied my triumphant departure for the shore. 
I half suspect that news of this firing was instantly 
telegraphed to Soul, and (as political " feelings " grew 
calmer up there immediately) that the quidnuncs 
represented it as a gigantic victory gained by England 
over the Russians. 



CHAPTER XII 
PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

THE MURDEROUS MONGOL 

IN the streets of Peking we had often noticed the 
free and independent bearing of the Mongols, 
whose encampment or market was just behind the 
Legation : it is now probably a thing of the past for 
ever. On one or two occasions I and others had even 
tried a fall with them in the public streets; but they 
are good wrestlers, and very hard to get hold of when 
they have a sheepskin on, smooth side out. In travel- 
ling beyond the Great Wall we met thousands of 
them, both in their bo (tents), and conducting caravans 
of frozen sheep, skins, and other merchandise to Peking. 
It was the exception for them to speak Chinese, but 
they all had a good-natured men-du (their form of 
greeting); — even the women, who rode cross-l^ged 
like the men. 

Between Kalgan and SUan-hwa Fu (the site of 
the oldest traditional capital of China) we met a 
lania^ or Mongol ecclesiastic of rank, and I effected 
a '' swap " of horses ; giving mine, which had a sore 

263 



264 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

back and was lazy, in exchange for an older animal 
more willing to travel. The Mongols "work" the 
price of a horse with their fingers, buyer and purchaser 
covering right hands with the long cuff, and thus con- 
ducting a mysterious exchange of ideas. The Peking 
horsey men imitate this practice. 

As my colleague Andrews and I were starting from 
Shibartai for a place on the way to Dolonor called 
Pashang-ku, we struck up a riding acquaintance with 
a Mongol horseman who knew a few words of Chinese. 
Andrews was both an obtuse " listener " and a peppery 
individual, and soon lost his temper in trying to extract 
definite answers. The uncouth Mongol simply said 
"Aw," and nodded his head with a grin in reply to 
anything he did not understand. The result of these 
strained relations was a crack over the head for the 
thick-skulled Mongol with the butt of Andrews' riding- 
whip. Andrews then rode moodily on, and I remained 
talking with the Mongol. 

Suddenly the Mongol said to me in a whisper : " Is 
that your friend ? " 

I said : " Yes ; a very good man." 
" A good man ! Why did he hit me ? " 
" Oh ! that's nothing ; that's merely the foreign way." 
After a few minutes' profound thought, the Mongol 
said : " I want to kill him " ; — and I noticed he carried 
the usual long knife in his belt. 

I went on talking, as though unconcerned, but 
managed to interlard a few sentences in English, the 



''OUR WITHERS ARE UNWRUNG" 265 

Mongol being none the wiser. I said in jerks: "Go 
on, Andrews, as if nothing had occurred ; don't under 
any circumstances look round or hasten your pace. 
You are a great ass for hitting this fellow, and he is 
threatening to kill you ; just have your pistol ready." 

Meanwhile, with a smiling face I showed the 
Mongol my pistol, and said I thought he had better 
not try to kill Andrews, because Andrews had one 
too. The wretched Andrews during all this time was 
making anxious enquiries with his face still straight 
ahead : ** How are things going on ? " etc. ; but 1 did 
not spare his feelings at all, for I thought it would 
be a good lesson. Suddenly the Mongol — a wonderful 
horseman, as they all are — shot out like an arrow 
to the left 

"Look out, Andrews; he's off!" 

Andrews was relieved to find he had taken a 
side direction. That night at Pashang-ku was a very 
uneasy one ; for our attendants, and especially Chang- 
firh, who understood Mongol ways, feared the irate 
man was going to raise the occupants of some yourts 
we could distinguish in the distance, and attack the 
inn ; — for it was of that alone that Pashang-ku consisted. 
However, nothing more occurred. 

THE MIAO-TSZ 

These "savages" bear very much the same relation 
to the regulation Chinese that the gipsies do to us. 
They can easily pass for ordinary Celestial labourers, 



266 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

provided they wear no ornaments of their own, and 
speak Chinese ; but they are regarded by the Chinese 
as uncanny, being mysterious and exclusive in their 
own haunts. In some parts of Kwei Chou province 
they form the bulk of the population, and even have 
officials of their own ; just as we used to allow, and 
perhaps still do allow, a sort of limited home rule to 
Maori or Canadian chiefs. Afterwards, when I saw the 
Kakhyens, or Kachyns, of Burma, (who in the same way 
can, in Burmese dress, easily pass for Burmese,) I felt 
sure that there must be some connection between them 
and the Miao-tsz of China. In each case I collected 
vocabularies ; from which it clearly appeared that both 
groups of languages were monosyllabic and tonal, like 
the Chinese ; but, of course, there are many dialects. 
These, however, are matters of ethnological and philo- 
logical interest, into which I do not propose to enter here. 
My only object on this occasion is to call attention 
to a peculiar custom which is mentioned in Chinese 
history, not only with reference to the Miao-tsz, but 
also in connection with the ancient Turks — that is, 
the singing of refrains, warlike or amatory. 

At Canton there is an analogous " gipsy " population 
called " Tanka," which is also often spoken of in old 
historical works, and which seems to be allied with the 
Miao-tsz ; but in Canton they are confined by law to 
boats. 1 had often been kept awake there by the 
" catch " songs exchanged between lovers, and the same 
thing later attracted my attention amongst the Miao-tsz 



.MOST MUSICAL, MOST MELANCHOLY" 267 

in North Kwei Chou. The music is shrill and weird ; 
not without melody, but from its very nature, of 
course, destitute of harmony ; it is quite free from the 
squeakiness and discord of Chinese music. 

In travelling through the north-western wilds of Hu 
Peh, where there are still a few " savages " left, I once 
put up for the night at a wretched solitary hut, where 
a party of rustics were shelling the cobs of maize. In 
order to work through the night and keep themselves 
awake, the labourers, who appeared to have a Miao-tsz 
tinge in their composition, set up in turn a peculiar 
melancholy dirge, which every now and again broke 
out into a loud howl, having the effect of ventriloquial 
sounds darting to and fro about the roof. Once or 
twice a female voice, apparently from some house in 
the far distance, responded to that of a sturdy young 
workman sitting near the door ; and the effect upon a 
tired man, utterly worn out with the fatigues of the 
day, and struggling to get to sleep, was both ineffaceably 
touching and at the same time disturbing to the nerves. 
The twelve chair-coolies, the escort, and the servants 
were all similarly kept in a state of uneasy tension 
throughout the whole night The effect was so senti- 
mental that, in spite of discomfort, no one got angry, 
though every one lost a good night's rest To this 
day the wild music occasionally seems to ring in my 
ears, suggesting mysterious passions in unseen worlds, 
and carrying the thoughts beyond the sordidness of 
this one. 



268 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 



THE COREAN MAI>U 

Just as I was settling down to a new life in Fusan, 
the ancient Japanese trade settlement in South Corea, 
I received notice to pack up my traps once more and 
proceed to Soul, the capital ; — ^sometimes humorously 
called Sheol, on account of the prominence given to 
that latter word by the New Testament revisers nearly 
twenty years aga But I had already concluded a 
bargain for a spirited little horse, and there were no 
means of getting him away by steamer. The groom, or 
mafu^ was a shock-headed Corean rustic, whose redeem- 
ing qualities were fondness for his animal and a certain 
knowledge of Japanese. No one knew his name, or 
anything about him ; but on my enquiring of him if he 
would ride the beast to Soul (a fourteen days' journey), 
he consented to do so ; and off he started, with no other 
baggage than his white coat and trousers. He turned 
up in due course, and for nearly two years served 
faithfully as ostler, gardener, and extra coolie. The 
cook was my old '* boy " ; the coolie proper was a 
Corean who spoke Chinese ; and the waiter, or new 
'*boy," was Ichimatsu, a Japanese, who, like most of 
his countrymen, had his wife with him. 

Divide et impera was the motto in this Corean 
residence, each nationality having a separate dwelling, 
and preventing the other from monopolising the 
squeezes. But the Coreans are a fighting race, and set 
to in real punishing style on the slightest provocation. 



ARCADES AMBO 269 

Scarcely a week passed but what I had to go to the 
servants' quarters and bang the two men's heads together 
in order to separate them ; whilst bloody noses and 
black eyes were as much the rule as the exception 
in a week's work. The only authority they seemed 
really to fear was the petty local mandarin, called the 
pelchd ; — an excellent fellow, who used personally to 
direct the corvee labourers, sjambok in hand, and himself 
apply the lash without the slightest hesitation. Not- 
withstanding this rough justice, he was much respected 
by foreigners and natives alike. 

One day the coolie, who was really the more quarrel- 
some of the two, came to lay a formal complaint against 
the mafu for some trifling offence against my interests 
and suggested that I should send him in to i^d'^ pelchd, 
I said : " All right. I will give him a note for the 
mandarin, and you can go with him." 

In this letter (all Corean officials can read Chinese) 
I simply said : " These two fellows have some squabble 
or other which you can best deal with ; personally, I 
am disposed to think one is about as bad as the other." 

In a short time both came back looking very 
crestfallen. The pekhA^ on reading my letter, did 
not trouble himself much about evidence, but at once 
sent for his lictors, saying : " Your old sire says you 
are both a bad lot, so I am going to give the pair of 
you a sound flogging." 

And he did. Ichimatsu and the Chinese cook 
were delighted at this judgment of Solomon, and after 



270 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

that I had no more trouble. — The original offence 
charged was, I think, going out at night without a 
lamp and tally pass. 



THE GRAVE OF EMPIRE 

In Europe we only hear in a vague sort of way (if 
we hear at all) of the "Black Flags" doing some- 
thing, without any apparent motive, on the borders 
of Tonquin ; and few persons are curious to know 
more ; yet there is a continuity of history there, as 
interesting to the Yellow world as the struggles for 
possession of Decia were to the Roman world. Even 
when I was at Canton in 1878, there was a move- 
ment in favour of the extinct Li dynasty of Annam, 
in which the Black Flags took part It is a curious 
thing that I should have seen, almost within the same 
month, (1888,) the " clearance " of the Mandalay citadel 
by the British and of the Hanor citadel by the French ; 
and on exactly the same lines ; — that is, historical 
recollections and native buildings swept ruthlessly 
away in favour of " progress " and barracks. 

Inside the citadel or walled town of HanoY there is 
a very wonderful banyan tree, which I was in due 
course taken to see : its creepers have been encouraged) 
as they descend to the ground, to take root, genera- 
tion after generation, so that now it is practically a 
tree with a hundred roots, capable of sheltering a 
whole regiment of soldiers ; in principle it somewhat 



"ON THE BOUNTIES OF AN HOUR" 271 

recalls the great vine at Hampton Court. My atten- 
tion was at once attracted by the following pencil 
notice pasted upon a tumbledown gate : ** Defense 
dUntrer ici sans rautorisation de la baya^^ (« old 
woman). As the chief of the Educational Department 
was personally showing me round, I proposed to visit 
the old woman, and, if possible, find out all about it. 
A cheerful little boy admitted us, and led us to a 
tiny, shrivelled-up, toothless old crone of ninety-one, 
weighing about forty pounds. She was a princess, 
''fifth in descent," of the Li dynasty of Tonquin, 
which expired in 1785 in favour of that of Nguyen : 
the latter originally grew into being under the first 
Napoleon's favour, and still rules under French pro- 
tection at Hu^. — This was the old woman's ** record " : 
When peace and tranquillity were being restored 
(after the French soldiery had taken the citadel, and 
had destroyed or impounded for army purposes every- 
thing inside it), the old crone was daily noticed groping 
her solitary way about the jungle and swamps, and 
picking up fragments of images and other desecrated 
temple objects, which she dragged back laboriously 
to some corner of her shanty. This wreck was all 
that was left of a nunnery, and the great tree and 
the nunnery had once formed part of one of the 
imperial temples — in a way a mixture of Hampton 
Court and Windsor Chapel — in which in Annam, it 
seems, the widows of deceased sovereigns are pensioned 
oflf. (Later on I met an old concubine of the reigning 



272 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

dynasty, similarly guarding the tomb and temple of 
the " Emperor " Ming-manh, and I see in the papers 
[July, 1901] that she has just died at the age of 
ninety-two). 

The Annamese language is even more sing-song 
and " tonic *' than the Chinese. The old woman 
sang out her story in my presence to the interpreter, 
mechanically swinging her skinny arm to and fro, as 
she did so, behind her back and across her chest, 
striking her parchment-like old carcass as though it 
were a drum, *• to relieve the rheumatism." A ** three- 
striped man" (a colonel) had just rescued her in the 
nick of time one day, at a moment when a brutal 
French soldier was about to knock her on the head ; 
it was the gallant colonel, too, who had put up the 
notice on the door ; and the enquiries instituted at his 
order had elicited the fact that all the villagers spoke 
of her as the "Li princess." 

Little more could be found out. We both tried 
persuasive arts in order to obtain some hidden books 
or documents from her, so that we might follow the 
matter up at our leisure. She took me by the sleeve 
with her shrivelled hand, and led us through a maze 
of dark, ruined passages to an underground chamber, 
like that in the Great Pyramid, whence a mouldy, 
tomb-like blast issued the instant a door was opened. 
In it were two sitting corpses (as I first took them 
to be) facing each other, with a faint oil lamp, or 
saucer, between them. But they were, after all, not 



I 

f , 






f'< 



QUAMVIS ILLE NIGER 273 

dressed corpses (such as one may still see in the 
underground vaults near Palermo) ; they were simply 
" josses " ; — probably effigies of two kings. The chamber, 
being subterranean, had never been discovered by the 
rough soldiers, and the old princess kept her frag- 
mentary treasures here. 

JOSEPH THE SINNER 

The evening before my last departure by river steamer 
from Rangoon, 1 did not reach the hotel till midnight ; 
and, as we had to be up at four, I thought it well to 
rouse Joseph from the door-mat to make sure that 
the washing had come back, as had been strictly 
ordered. Mine had, but his had not ; and therefore 
I determined to teach him a lesson. Joseph was a 
Kling, as black as coal, successor to Wawa ("the 
Baby "). " Come with me ; show me where the washer- 
man lives ; and bring your things now." 

It was half an hour's walk, and by the time we got 
there I felt inclined to knock Joseph's and the dhobts 
heads together ; but I contented myself with grabbing 
angrily at a couple of diminutive white coats, — manifestly 
those I had just recently purchased in order to make 
Joseph look smart at table. 

It was two o'clock before we reached home, so I 
allowed Joseph to coil himself up again, and employed 
the odd hours in packing up for myself. To my 
astonishment, I found that some common red bone 
studs had been put into the button-holes of one shirt 

18 



274 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

instead of the coral ones I always used. Joseph, when 
aroused, of course knew nothing about it: hence it 
plainly must be Jumbo, the big Kling waiter; or his 
wife, the maid ; no one else ever came to that comer 
of the hotel. The matter was so grave that I at 
once roused up the English landlord, and demanded 
a strict search. No studs could be found ; but the 
landlord, who swore by Jumbo, casually remarked that 
it must be Joseph himself, as the lad had been ** drinking 
rather freely, and spending a good deal of money." 

This disclosure was a great staggerer for me, as 
Joseph was not only a devout Christian and a mere 
child, but also a lad I had trusted with my loose cash 
every day. I proceeded somewhat reluctantly to 
search him ; and as he handed me his purse with 
great nonchalance, I was on the point of magnanimously 
returning it to him unopened just as frankly as he 
had offered it. However, on searching it, sure enough 
there were the studs and sleeve-links wrapped up in a 
piece of cap-paper. Joseph did not lose his composure 
in the least, but said : " Some one must have put 
them there out of spite and jealousy." There was no 
time to lose ; so, after apologising to Jumbo and the 
rest, off 1 went with Josephus. 

As the steamer wound her way through the canals 
of the delta, I was recounting these suspicious events 
to the deservedly popular Captain Ballantine, when in 
marched the first officer, holding Joseph by the scruff 
of the neck : he was charged by the native steward 



QUAMVIS TU CANDIDUS ESSES 275 

with the theft of two jackets, duly marked, one of 
which he had on. Naturally, after what I had just 
related, the captain was but little disposed to favour 
poor Joseph ; indeed, when I explained that I myself 
had forcibly seized those identical jackets (Joseph 
acting as my guide) at i a.m. that very morning, he 
seemed to half think that Joseph and I were running 
hand-and-glove in the old clothes trade. 

A French priest (the " owner " of Joseph) came on 
board a couple of days later, and to him I narrated both 
stories. We arranged that when Joseph should go to 
church at Mandalay on Sunday, the priest should 
question him, suddenly introducing the subject of coral 
studs : Joseph, being thus taken unawares, and imagin- 
ing some spiritual revelation, at last confessed, and I 
forgave him ; but, that very night, as I emptied my 
pockets and proceeded to my bath (Joseph handing 
me the towels), I found that six rupees, carefully placed 
on the mirror, had suddenly become five during my 
short toilet operations. Once more Joseph was 
searched, and he was found with more new property 
and small money than he could account for ; but the 
rupee itself had either been swallowed or quickly hidden 
away. That night I sent Joseph home to the priest, 
and went back to the genuine Chinese article. 

AN ANNAMESE NOBLE 

" On tie se presse pas id*' remarked the solitary French- 
man I met on the " concession " at Hu6 on the morning 



276 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

of my arrival in January, 1892. The ** pressure " was, 
indeed, so slight, not to say invisible, that, for want 
of movement of any kind, I had to amuse myself as 
best I could for a few hours by walking among the 
country lanes beyond the French quarter. It appeared 
to me that I was in a region of timber-yards or 
elephant corrals, for nothing was visible from the 
paths beyond large enclosures hedged in all round by 
stockades of tall rushes. At last I came to one with 
an open gate, near which some prettily-dressed children 
were playing. They seemed pleased when I patted 
their cheeks, and they led me by the hand to a room 
in the house inside, where a man of distinguished 
bearing invited me to sit down on the k'ang—^ sort 
of divan for two, with a small squat table between 
(see the illustration of a yamin interior). As he 
spoke no Chinese or French, and I no Annamese, it 
became necessary to make signs for writing materials. 
So soon as he learnt I was not a Frenchman, he 
betrayed some signs of uneasiness ; on which I wrote : 
" I am a British consul, and I have come here to see 
the Emperor to-morrow. I should like to ask you a 
few questions." He then gave an order to one of the 
children, who brought him an ignited candle, which 
he set between us on the table. He wrote: "I am 
one of the court officials, and my name is X.*' Directly 
I had read this, he burnt the paper. 

The well-educated Corcans, Annamese, and Japanese 
all write Chinese perfectly, except that they occasionally 



WELCOME THE COMING GUEST 277 

make use of bastard words, introduced to express 
local objects or ideas unknown to the Chinese, very 
much as we invent scientific or barbarous Greek words 
to express modern inventions. Alongside of" this pure 
Chinese they also use for their own vernacular language 
a separate form of script, more or less inspired by 
Chinese calligraphy ; and in all three cases the spoken 
language is largely reinforced by borrowed Chinese 
words. The expression pih-fan^ or "pencil-conversa- 
tion," is employed for written interviews with persons 
who do not speak any common tongue, but who can 
use the Chinese character independently of any sound : 
there is no reason whatever why Europeans of different 
nationality should not use Chinese among themselves 
in the same dumb way, — if they know it. 

This official was exceedingly glad to obtain political 
intelligence from the outside world, but he was most 
careful not to compromise his family by allowing a 
single word written by himself to escape the inexorable 
candle-flame. The result of this first interview was 
that he invited me to dinner for the evening after the 
audience with the Emperor, in which he had to take 
official part. I had only been there as a stranger and 
a spectator, amongst a group of Frenchmen, a number 
of whom at each New Year's time (Chinese calendar) 
like to swell the suite of the Resident, and at the same 
time to gratify their own curiosity. But I found my 
official friend's palace experience very useful in ex- 
plaining certain points in the Imperial ceremonial which 



278 PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

were quite new to mc. Of course he had not a word 
to say against the French protectorate ; but it was 
evident from the general tenour of his silent con- 
versation that he felt very keenly the humiliation into 
which his country had sunk ; and he presented me with 
a printed copy of some very touching Chinese poems 
composed by his deceased father, the burden of which 
was the misfortune of his native land, and the negli- 
gence, corruption, and incapacity which had caused it 
to fall under foreign dominion. 

Social life is much simpler and humbler with the 
Annamese than with the Chinese. The interiorSi even 
of poor houses, are cleaner ; but the apartments are 
less solidly built. Even men of rank wear no stockings, 
and often go barefoot, without even the shallow slipper, 
which can be kicked off at any moment The cookery 
is good, and there is a certain simplicity and yet 
distinction about the dress. The impression left upon 
me by this solitary instance of high-class Annamese 
hospitality was decidedly agreeable, and it encouraged 
me to trust myself frequently in humbler Annamese 
hands. 

SIC TRANSIT GLORIA 

The history of the Chinese commercial colonies in 
the Malay Peninsula is very interesting, and goes 
back to a time when Arabs and Mussulmans were 
unheard of ; but the state of Johore is not mentioned 
until about three hundred years ago, and Chinese 



■-)■ 

I i 



!l 



: f 



V, 




AN OLD MALAY STATE 279 

history distinctly states that the eunuch ambassadors 
found no such place when they passed through the 
Straits in 1405-20. Some account of the reigning 
Sultan Ibrahim was given, with a portrait, in one of 
the London illustrated newspapers for May, 1901 ; 
but, when I was first in those parts, this ruler had 
not yet been born. I do not know what the word 
Johore means, or in what language it means it ; but 
from the first the Chinese traders and historians have 
consistently called it by a fancy name meaning " Soft 
Buddha,'* and pronounced Yuhuk, Yaofut, etc., in their 
various dialects. 

In 1869 I visited the modern palace of the old Rajah, 
or Sultan, Abu Bakar, in Singapore itself, which island, 
until 1 819, formed part of the Johore dominions. At 
first we followed the example of the ancient Chinese 
colonists, and made our Straits Settlements an ap- 
pendage of those in Sumatra (which we had not yet 
resigned to the Dutch). It was not until 1888 that I 
actually visited Johore itself, which town is separated 
by a creek from the island, of which it is now, with 
all its territory, a mere appendage. I give a picture 
of the identical row of Chinese shops in one of which 
I took a breakfast of rice, prawns, and tea with a 
hospitable Chinese shopkeeper, who showed me over 
the place, including the Chinese temple, the gambier 
plantations, and so on. I have since then visited 
most of the Chinese colonies in East and West Siam ; 
Upper, Lower, and Maritime Burma; the Malay 



28o PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

Peninsula ; and Annam ; and can safely say that the 
true secret of success with them is to let them alone. 
There are three million Chinese living contentedly in 
Siam, which appears to be the only country, besides 
England, and to a great extent America, which is free 
from the instinct of administrative ** meddling," so 
characteristic of the Germans, French, and Spaniards. 
Russia ** meddles " only when she is politically alarmed, 
and is, perhaps, after ourselves, the Power most con- 
genial to the Chinese ; — with this important difference, 
that the best Chinese are often political supporters 
of ourselves, which they never are of the Russians, 
except as a pis-aller. 

Johore was once the most powerful state in these 
parts, with an influence extending far away into 
Pahang, Borneo, Sumatra, and Java. Previous to the 
arrival of the Portuguese and the Dutch, the Arabs, 
or Arab influences, had it all their own way. As 
the latter extinguished the Hindoo colonial powers, 
so have they in turn been gradually extinguished by 
the Europeans. But the Chinaman seems to have 
been always there, within historical times at least, and 
under much the same conditions as now. At present 
the little state may be compared with Honolulu, 
in so far as the declining native population is con- 
cerned, at least three-quarters being pure Chinese ; 
the remainder, Malays or Javanese, are mostly listless 
and unprofitable beings. It may be said now of all 
the Malay kingdoms, whether nominally independent. 



"MANKIND FROM CHINA TO PERU" 281 



British-protected, nominally Siamese, or Siam-protccted, 
that they are Chinese to the same extent that Peru 
and Brazil are Spanish or Portuguese ; moreover, that 
they are Chinese within the British sphere, and subject 
to direct or indirect British influence. For this reason 
I have occasionally seized an opportunity of endea- 
vouring to impress upon the British Government the 
importance of conciliating the Chinese race from a 
political and intellectual point of view. We may be 
at war with the Manchus, or we may be worsted in 
diplomacy ; but, so long as we give the commercial 
and self-governing instincts of the Chinese, whether at 
home or as colonists, a free rein ; and depart not 
from British traditions of reasonableness, we need have 
no real fear of German or French competition in the 
South Seas. 



CHAPTER XIII 
DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

CHINESE PROCESSIONS 

IT requires some local knowledge to be able to 
distinguish clearly between a Celestial funeral 
procession and a Celestial wedding. It is not quite 
so bad, however, in China as it is in Corea, where 
local custom requires the bearers of the coffin to 
counterfeit jollity and drunkenness, singing ribald 
songs, and swaying the coffin from side to side as they 
advance. In both countries it is the mourning costume 
(rather than any difference in the squeaky music 
distinguishable to the untrained ear) that forms the 
distinctive feature ; but even the wailing concubines 
in their sedan-chairs crack pea-nuts and smoke pipes 
at intervals between their howls of simulated anguish. 
Still more comic is the sight of a viceroy's 
tag-rag and bobtail when he goes to pay official 
visits. By law he is bound to have a certain 
number of retainers, title-carriers, police, lictors, 
changes of clothes, fan-bearers, gong-beaters, trum- 
peters, horsemen, and so on. Possibly in good 

282 



"MOTLEY'S THE ONLY WEAR" 283 

old times these men may have been well-paid and 
well-fed retainers ; but now the practice is for the 
responsible usher to go out into the lanes and the 
by-ways in order to make a haul of "the poor, the 
maimed, the halt, and the blind " ; the beggars and 
street Arabs ; at a penny or twopence a head for the 
morning's outing, the whole forming a gang of " pitiful 
rascals" such as Sir John Falstaff used to muster 
for "hasty matters in the king's affairs." Over their 
rags they thrust a tawdry uniform (usually minus the 
trousers) ; on their dirty, unkempt pates they clap 
a tall, ill-fitting lictor's hat, about thrice the height of 
that of Mr. Tupman when he went to Mrs. Leo 
Hunter's garden party, and strongly resembling our 
"dunces' caps." The viceroy sees nothing of these 
disreputable scallywags, for immediately before and 
behind his chair are a dozen or so of smartly dressed, 
well-mounted cavaliers, secretaries, and footmen, such 
as are represented in the accompanying picture : he 
sits complacently in his chair, imagining that the 
whole official: file is equally smart, and little dreaming 
that he is merely the central figure of a gang of 
buffoons. 

On several occasions when I have been paying 
official visits in the consular sedan, my bearers, either 
by accident or out of malice prepense, have run me, 
in turning a corner, just into the middle of a funeral 
or marriage procession. Exit is totally impossible ; 
prc^ess is absurdly slow; and even the mourners 



284 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

or feastcrs arc pleased to have among them a genuine 
barbarian in a smart chair in order to swell their 
own importance. The situation is an excruciatingly 
foolish one for the "ocean man." 

On the arrival of the distinguished American states- 
man Mr. Seward in Peking, an amusing incident 
occurred. Out of deference for his age and infirmities, 
it had been arranged to carry him in a mule-litter ; 
but the rest of his suite, and also the other foreigners 
and Chinese accompanying the procession, rode, more 
Pekinense^ on ponies, mules, or donkeys— chiefly 
donkeys : the general effect of uniformed United States 
officers riding on donkeys was as absurd as that of 
a native marriage procession. Suddenly, in approach- 
ing their Legation, and rounding a bend in the broad 
Peking street, the eager eyes of the visitors encountered 
a gorgeous and unwonted spectacle : smart flags and 
banners ; shrill flutes and clanging cymbals ; bearers of 
trousseaux, pots, pans, wardrobes; a gay, closed chair 
(containing the bride) ; and then more finery. 

" Look ! — look ! " said some of the local malinSy 
anxious that the newly arrived American guests should 
miss no opportunity of gaining a glimpse into genuine 
Peking life ; " a mandarin marriage procession ! " 

The marriage people, on their part, were specially 
delighted with the negro attendant (on his donkey), 
who never left Mr. Seward's side ; the wedding pro- 
cession even stopped, all eyes gleaming with interest 
and pleasure, and gave the coloured man a hearty cheer. 



'V 

■ A 

• I 

I* 

i! 

■ t 

'.\ 



I 

• 1. 

:|. 
■ I 

I r. 



1 1 



^l 



"MONARCH OF ALL I SURVEY" 285 

The unsophisticated Americans somehow got the 
notion into their heads that this " mandarin procession " 
was a formal welcome to their distinguished statesman 
sent direct from the Government of China ; hitherto 
so hold-offish, so determined to ignore European merit 
So old Mr. Seward rose in his litter, bowing right 
and left appreciatively at this righteous, but at the 
same time unexpected recognition of the disinterested 
policy of the United States, which he seems to have 
mistaken for a State welcome into the capital, such 
as the Czars of Muscovy used to grant to foreign 
envoys. 



SIR E. B. MALET AMONG THE LIKIN AND 

PHILOLOGY MEN 

Sir Edward Malet has not alluded to it in his 
Shifting SceneSy but, as a matter of fact, on September 
19, 1872, he was stretched not over luxuriously upon 
a cane bed, attired in an airy suit, removed as far 
as possible from the diplomatic, in a chamber twelve 
feet square in all, together with three others similarly 
accommodated and attired ; and all this in the wilds 
of the Lii Shan, a splendid range of mountains some 
miles behind Kewkiang, from the summit of which 
(six thousand feet high) there is a splendid view of 
the Poyang Lake, and of the flat country for hundreds 
of miles round. It is the custom for climbers to leave 
a bottle at the top, containing the name of the last 



286 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

arrival ; for otherwise each man with a talent for 
anecdote is apt to think he was once there, unless he 
is nailed down to the written evidence of the bottle. 
I did go to the top, but Sir E. B. Malet never saw 
that bottle : he was somewhat indisposed and feverish, 
after a fatiguing trip to Hankow and back, and now 
had the opportunity at Kewkiang of acquainting him- 
self with the mysteries of the likin "squeezes" upon 
British tea. 

Anderson's famous tea likin case was under con- 
sideration, and it was in this wise. The Chinese 
authorities affected to charge the "grower's tax," as 
they called their increased likin^ upon the foreigner's 
tea. To the consul's argument that they could tax 
the Chinese grower what they liked, so long as the 
foreigner only paid to that grower a definite price 
for his tea, and so long as the mandarins left the said 
foreigner quitie pour payer (as M. Zola is fond of say- 
ing) his export duties after purchase made; — to this 
argument the authorities had for long turned a deaf ear, 
even anterior to my arrival, not to say to Sir Edward 
Malet's ; so that diplomacy could not advance matters 
within the few days available, and Sir Edward 
accordingly " reserved to himself the right to consider 
what further steps " he would take in the matter. The 
now famous Viceroy Liu K'un-yih was then Governor 
of Kiang Si, and a very tough one he was too. A 
year later the Ringdove was sent up to demonstrate 
before his capital (Nan-ch'ang Fu) ; but Liu K'un-yih 



"METHINKS ITS LIKE A WEASEL" 287 

is not the man to be afraid of a gunboat ; and so 
he simply grinned and bore it. 

It is possible that the charming conversation of 
Sir E. B. Malet at the mountain bungalow, and also 
a few days later at my house, may have so drawn out 
the curiosity of his audience (Mr. R. Francis, Mr. 
Hamilton, Mr. Fisher, and myself were on the hills) 
that the humorous idea of " Whiffles " suggested itself 
to him in later years from the recollection of one of 
his most persistent questioners. At all events, I have 
very distinct Brazilian and German recollections in that 
connection, and some of these are artistically recapitu- 
lated in SJufting Scenes. One point touched upon 
was *' how astonished the world would be if it 
only knew the small capacities of those who manage 
its affairs." This remark certainly could never recoil 
like a boomerang upon Sir E. B. Malet, whose re- 
appearance in China was always hoped for by 
merchant and consul alike. 

But this outing of ours chiefly impressed itself 
on my memory from an interesting etymological 
discovery I made en route. One of the plants on 
the mountain road was described to me by a chair- 
coolie as /'/, and by another as chUa(htU: the latter 
combination was a double puzzle, for the local dialect 
made no difference between the sounds k*iao and t/iao. 
Under these embarrassing circumstances a Buddhist 
priest was invited from the neighbouring hermitage 
to come to the bungalow ; — not to give us absolution. 



UiiP*i^*^i^^^^^^^^^BiUa«U^la 



288 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

but because priests are the only learned men in these 
wild parts. The priest totally denied all knowledge 
of such a name as /'/, and warmly said it was 
simply camellia {c/ia\ or the "tea plant" I believe 
Sir Edward's general experience was then craved, in 
order, if possible, to solve the mystery on world-wide 
botanical principles. All the "boys" stoutly swore 
it was ch*a. The original coolie was next summoned ; 
and he reasseverated, appealing to our common 
fairness, that it was chUao-chUao-tU^ — thereby adding 
a third syllable to his former puzzle. I forget who 
ultimately penetrated the enigma ; but it transpired 
that the polite coolie was endeavouring to talk English 
for our benefit, and wanted to say it was tea {ft) 
for us to chow-chow ! — I may here state that chow^ 
or chow-chow^ is the "picigin" for "eat," but I am 
not aware that it has ever been explained by the 
learned how the word "got there," for it is not 
Chinese in any dialect. 

ARCHDEACON GRAY 

This genial cleric was a remarkable instance of how 
completely the Chinese of all ranks are willing to 
surrender themselves frankly to any influence which 
impresses them as being just and pure. The power 
which Archdeacon Gray possessed in Canton, at least 
previous to his marriage, was something quite phe- 
nomenal, and I am not sure but what at one time it 



"BORN TO BLUSH . UNSEEN " 289 

somewhat piqued Sir Brooke Robertson, whose steady 
political influence was totally free from anything in the 
least approaching showiness. Over and over again 
have I accompanied Archdeacon Gray with a friend 
or two on Sandford-and-Merton-like excursions into 
the city mazes. To one who does not understand 
Cantonese, Canton is at first a dangerous labyrinth ; 
in many respects it closely resembles the streets and 
bazaars of Tunis, but tenfold multiplied ; and any 
foolish gaping at once attracts a mischievous crowd. 
Shopkeepers always rose to their feet the instant 
Archdeacon Gray entered the premises ; beggars and 
lepers hailed him in the streets ; rough coolies clapped 
him familiarly on the back ; and genuine Chinese 
ladies of rank and station allowed him to ''per- 
sonally conduct" parties into their gardens, and even 
into their boudoirs. In fact, the only occasion, during 
the whole of my residence in China, on which I had 
a good look at a lady's interior apartments was when 
Archdeacon Gray led me, quite unchallenged, through 
the house or mansion of the celebrated Howqua family. 
It was most amusing. There sat the old lady, like 
Mrs. Wardle ntire^ crooning on a dalfs, surrounded 
by her maids; they knitting, holding the mistress's 
pipe, and discoursing soft (?) music. We two youngsters 
stood at the door and listened to the explanations of 
our mentor or showman. "There, Mr. Parker, you 
will observe the small feet of Mrs. Howqua, junior, 
to the right ; below sits! the ingenuous handmaid, 

19 



290 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

whose feet, you will notice, are large, as it befits her 
exiguous rank," and so on. 

The venerable guide was rather fond of sonorous 
language, and a good story is told of the Duke of 
Edinbui^h's visit to the intramural Consulate. The deer 
were called up to the park gate, and the Archdeacon 
(who really spoke very mediocre Chinese) asked the 
keeper why they did not come. 

The man (as Chinese habitually do when they have 
not understood) grinned stupidly, and said: "Aw!" 
Being pressed by the Archdeacon, he added "Mou!" 
("no got 1"). 

" What does he say ?" asked Prince Alfred eagerly. 

" Your royal highness, the man says that, look 
whithersoever he will, he really cannot discern the 
whereabouts of the deer." 

" A d expressive language, the Chinese ! " 

muttered the amused prince to his friends. 

But, notwithstanding these little peculiarities, which 
were immortalised in a book he wrote before his 
marriage — so strange in language that it had to be 
called in and re-edtted — Archdeacon Gray was a 
kind and sterling man, and in many ways was the 
Winnington- Ingram of the "City of Rams": he was 
also a warm friend of mine, and even honoured me 
by dining with me occasionally. This was a very 
rare distinction in his bachelor days, when he used 
to work hard all day at a rural retreat. There he 
kept his papers, and only came home to sleep. Too 



"AND THE FLOW OF SOUL" 291 

often he surrendered his own house to European 
inebriates, released or repentant criminals, and occa- 
sionally humbugs, who used to come up from Hongkong 
to abuse his simple credulousness and hospitality. He 
was an exceedingly handsome man, with a frank, 
kindly, generous face ; he was never seen, even in the 
hottest sun or heaviest rain, except with a "pot hat" 
on, and in full clerical attire, fashioned out of black 
silk or alpaca : he was never known to be ai^ry, and 
he never refused anything at alt reasonable asked of 
him in the way of charity ; above all, he never tried 
to forcibly "convert" us sinners, for which we were 
all deeply grateful. When he went away in 1875, he 
was accompanied to the steamer by a huge crowd, 
bearing flags, banners, and " popular " umbrellas ; 
clanging gongs and letting off crackers ; with more 
^clat than even the most popular of viceroys. After 
his marriage and return to Canton, his influence waned 
a little, for the Chinese do not approve of married 
priests ; at all events, they revere celibacy more ; and, 
besides, so tender-hearted a man as the Archdeacon 
naturally found new cares and interests, which severed 
many of his old Chinese ties. 

His parting sermon in 1875 was the occasion of a 
remarkable bathos. Sir Brooke Robertson, living in 
the yatftin, rarely came to church ; but he did so on 
this occasion. Everyone was there, and the Archdeacon 
was just drawing the tears from all eyes by his melli- 
fluous words of parting, when a Chinaman walked 



292 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

in and whispered something to a missionary. The 
missionary silently walked out Then some one else 
walked out Then some one whispered to Sir Brooke, 
and he to the vice-consul : on this they and I walked 
out — I out of curiosity. This was the signal for a 
general stampede : a fire had occurred at Mr. Noyes' 
house, and in five minutes Sir Brooke was " directing 
salvage operations"; the congregation was scaling 
rafters and pitching furniture about ; and — a cloud 
overspread the Archdeacon's features. But still he 
never showed anger ; indeed, he had not done so even 
on a memorable occasion when once attacked in the 
country by a mob. To use his own words : " Would 
you believe it, Mr. Hardy? They laid hands upon me. 
They cast me down. They seized upon my clothes, 
and they rent them. Having placed me prostrate on 
the ground, they tore off my trousers, raised my shirt, 
and regarded my abdomen ! " 

SIR SAMUEL BAKER, PASHA 

A MISSIONARY named Grundy once applied at Canton 
for a passport to travel in the interior, but as he bad 
not sent his dollar fee, it was necessary to write to 
him at Hongkong and state that the sum in question 
was due. I forget exactly how the matter got en- 
tangled, but when the approaching daily steamer was 
announced by the usual steam-whistle, one of the 
t'ing-ch'ai% was sent down to meet it, so that Mr. 



"WHAT WILL MRS. GRUNDY SAY?" 293 

Grundy, if there, might not have the trouble of walking 
in the hot sun up to the Consulate ; or so that, if not 
there, the mate might receive the passport in exchange 
for the dollar. An open letter, or "chit," was given 
to the Chinaman, who was told to ask for "Missi 
Grundy," or " Missi Grundy letter ; " collect the dollar, 
and hand him or the mate the passport (but only if 
he got the dollar); stating to him that he would just 
have time to get into the city gate before sunset; or 
to start at once inland, if that were his intention. It 
was Saturday, and of course the Consulate was closed 
on Sunday. 

By and by the messenger came back to me, in a 
flushed and excited state, with a pencil message : 
" I don't know what this fellow means by addressing 
me as 'Mrs. Grundy,' and I object to giving him a 
dollar. S. B." 

I at once sent word back verbally that "no dollar, 
no can catchee paper." The t'tng-cWai had also 
brought a cover containing the passport, which, he 
said, " Missi Galunti no wanchee." 

While all this was going on, the mails from the 
steamer came in, and the consul (who lived in the 
city, and was anxious to get back before the gates 
were shut) was hastily overhauling his letters. So was 
I ; but in the midst of this innocent occupation I 
heard a mouvenunt outside, and the Ving-Mai ran in 
to say : " Missi Galunti have come he-selfu." 

I looked out, and saw a stalwart, bearded man of 



■t^M^a^i^^^^^^^^^ I I .HwUfci -m M- — • - /- -. 



294 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

most unclerical appearance, — suggesting as little as 
possible the illustrious name he had scornfully rejected, — 
excitedly walking across the " compound," and mopping 
his heated brow : a card was brought in to me inscribed : 
'* Sir Samuel Baker, Pasha." 

At that instant the consul came into my room and 
began: "I say, here's a letter from Pope Hennessy, 

saying " when I interrupted him by showing him 

the card, and asking: ''What on earth does all this 
mean ? " 

However, I heard no more; the consul rushed out 
and invited the mysterious stranger into his private 
room, where a lively discussion in high tones went on 
for some time. Neither of us had the remotest idea 
that Sir Samuel Baker was even " cast of Suez, etc, etc.," 
where (vide Mr. Kipling). 

By degrees it transpired that Governor John Pope 
Hennessy had been entertaining the newly-arrived Sir 
Samuel Baker and his wife the day before, and had 
promised personally to write to the consul in order 
that a t'ing'ch*ai might meet them, and that they 
might see as much of Canton as possible during forty 
hours; that is, before the steamer should return to 
Hongkong early on the following Monday morning. 
Sir Samuel had got the mate (as per local custom) 
to overhaul the " loose letters," in order that he might 
make sure that the Governor had not forgotten to write. 
There was the O.H.M.S. cover right enough ; but the 
Governor's letter had come through the post-office, 



I AM NO ORATOR, AS BAKER IS 295 

and the loose official letter was the consular cover in 
which Mr. Grundy had been requested to send his 
reply or his dollar: at least (if my memory be in- 
accurate), the inextricable confusion had arisen in a 
way analogous to that described. However that may 
be, it was too late for Lady Baker to leave the steamer 
and "catch the gate" that night, and the consul had 
therefore perforce to return within the walls alone, and 
send Sir Samuel back to pass the night on board the 
steamer. All this explanation came out the next day at 
" tiffin " in the yamin^ when I had the honour to meet 
the distinguished pair of travellers, and to contribute 
my quota to the solution of the aforesaid mystery. 

Curiously enough. Sir Samuel's successor in the 
Soudan, Colonel Gordon, had, only two months pre- 
viously, also come up to Canton for a week end : he 
likewise missed the gate, and drifted into my company 
for a short time. 



AN IMPERIAL AMBASSADOR 

After ten days of wet weather, sloppy, grimy inns, 
and absence of sunshine, I sallied out one bright 
morning, amid the chirping of birds and the waking 
up of nature, from the tiny walled city of Wu-ch'wan 
in North Kwei Chou : perhaps the absolute extremity 
of Chinese poverty and simplicity is reached in this 
remote region. I was marching in the hot sun ahead 
of the official chair, clad in absolutely nothing but a 



296 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

pair of white canvas shoes, a duck pantalon^ and a 
gauze singlet. An enormous pith hat and an umbrella 
with extra white cover completed a costume more 
sans'gine than official. Neither Chang-erh nor Wang-6rh 
cared one straw about either the air or the colouring 
of nature : their only anxiety was that I should keep 
far enough on ahead not to shame them out of their 
cheap bamboo sedans, and thus force them to walk. 

We had lost sight of the town, crossed several 
ranges of hills, and at last plunged into a charming valley, 
through which ran a rippling river. Looking on ahead, 
I observed that we had to cross a long "stepping- 
stone" bridge — i,e, drums of stone are set in the 
river at distances of two feet, and you have to jump 
from one to the other. In fine weather this is all very 
well, but when the torrent is raging and the wind 
blowing, the sensation of staggering about inside a chair 
is far from pleasant ; hence I made for a small temple 
or shrine on the road-side in order to wait and see 
our cavalcade across, and to carry my own valuables. 
As I approached the tiny joss-house, a remarkably 
clean and spruce Chinaman, apparently of the well- 
to-do salt-tradesman-r«;;/-purchased-title class, rode up 
on a sleek mule, hitched his beast to the door-post of 
the little temple, and stepped in under cover. 

In China every one dismounts on meeting a " bigger 
man '' than himself, unless he can se sauver round a 
friendly corner : here the paved road was only fourteen 
inches wide, with impossibilities at both sides. I was 



"ESTA NUNC A VISTA AVENTURA" 297 

astonished at the spectacle of so much wealth in a 
district where hard lumps of salt are " gold," and where 
potatoes and maize are the only things to spend it on. 
I turned to question him, and was then still more 
astonished to find a Celestial with so bright and 
intelligent a face. He had his huge straw hat on, but 
he at once removed it so as to deferentially " drop his 
pigtail." 

Suddenly an idea struck me : " Vous ites franfats^ 
Monsieur.*^ 

" Mais out) Monsieur.** He conned me suspiciously, 
as though to say: ''You are a queer-looking man 
to speak French." 

His name was Decouvre, of the Missions Etrangires^ 
and he was on his usual pastoral rounds. My caravan 
was still some distance off, and I therefore proposed, 
looking towards it, to offer him a cigar ; he carried 
some claret in his wallet (probably altar wine) which he 
generously asked me to share. He said doubtfully: 
" Are you with the great man ? " 

" What great man ? " 

" On pritendqtCun grand ambassadeur imperial va venir** 
He had precipitately descended from his mule lest the 
satellites of the ambassadorial personage should " shove 
him off " as he stood betwixt the wind and my nobility. 

However, here was my procession. First came 
Wang-firh and Chang-erh, both asleep, with their 
tongues hanging out, their wretched coolies grunting 
dismal notes in cadence as they perspired and 



298 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

floundered along ; then came my green chair, rakishly 
cocked on one side to ease the light-hearted bearers* 
shoulders — the extra crew were cracking jokes and 
munching pea-nuts ; last, came the big baggage trunk, 
just like a coffin. The French priest still looked 
nervously in the direction whence I had come, but I 
assured him there was no one else of quality on the 
road. "Then," he said, "that empty chair must be 
the ambassador's chair ; but where is the great man ? " 
At last it came out that I myself was the individual 
in question ; and it seems reports had been spread 
throughout the length and breadth of the land that 
I had been commissioned (query, by whom) to 
enquire into everything and deal summarily with 
everybody. As no Chinese convert of any rank can 
even sit down unasked in a French priest's presence, 
not to say ride in a chair, it is not difficult to 
picture his confusion of mind on beholding a fat cook 
and a lanky fing-^h'ai taking their ease in chairs, 
whilst the great man himself tramped about in a 
shilling singlet Ah! bah I ces Anglais I 



HOW THE CHINESE TELEGRAPHS USED 

TO WORK 

Some one is said to have defined diplomacy as the 
art of manipulating truth for the advantage of one's 
country ; but it is more charitable to suppose that 
well-meaning men become so inoculated with the 



"A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE" 299 

suspicions inseparable from their calling that some- 
times they have a difficulty in recognising the truth 
when it is submitted to them, especially when they 
imagine their own repute for sagacity is endangered. 

The capital of Corea has, from the beginning of 
foreign intercourse, been a place where mares* nests 
and revolutions have had mushroom growth. In the 
winter of 1884 the outs made a murderous onslaught 
upon the ins ; the Post Office was destroyed during 
the diplomatic dinner which inaugurated its one 
day's total existence ; and the foreign envoys were 
only too glad to escape with their lives to their 
respective residences. Immediately after this event 
Sir Harry Parkes invited me to begin a new career 
in that troublous country, having judged from the 
results of the W^nchow rising that there was reason- 
able ground for presuming a capacity to deal gently 
with such weaknesses of human nature as were 
likely to be generated in a soil so fertile in make- 
believe situations as that of Corea. 

After nearly two years' initiation, during which 
one foolish Chinese ballon dUssai was pricked (in 
the manner already described), I heard rumours of 
strange complications in the capital. Several diplo- 
matists came down to Chemulpho to ask my 
assistance quietly ; but as it was no part of my duty 
to thrust myself forward, I contented myself with 
doing all I could to dispel misunderstandings, and 
to support the action of my own able chief, who. 



300 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

on his part, availed himself almost daily of this 
modest support But severe illness forced him to leave 
the country very suddenly : he accepted the hospi- 
tality of my house, and invited me to acquaint myself 
with the papers he had left at SOul, indispensable to 
rescue his fellow-workers from the prevailing con- 
fusion. But, as his successor was daily expected, I 
contented myself with writing to welcome the latter, 
in order to offer him my best services ; announcing 
my intention to leave to the departing incumbent the 
full credit of having secured a safe anchorage amidst 
a maze of dangers. But urgent messages represented 
to me even more forcibly than he had done the duty 
of proceeding at once to Soul in the general public 
interest 

The very first person I encountered at Soul asked : 
" What is wrong ? How is it they say you cannot 
be trusted?" 

My reply to this was : " Why, every one knows I 
have just been doing my best to put the mess 
straight, and have succeeded fairly well." 

" I know you have ; but there, in black and white, 
is the evidence of what I say." 

" Probably it is a foolish mistake." 

The following day I visited all the seven or eight 
diplomatists, and discovered that, owing to the general 
muddle, half of them viewed the other half with a 
suspicion approaching hostility. The Corean mob 
had so exaggerated the bearing of baseless rumours 



"BASELESS FABRIC OF THIS VISION" 301 

that one diplomatist had even packed his family and 
belongings into carts, with the intention of sending 
them for safety to Chemulpho ; his own intention, 
of course, being not to fly from danger. He said : 
" I bear no personal ill-will on account of this 
mistake" (the origin of which he proved to me), 
''but I do not like advantage to be taken of a 
manifest error, which I condone, in order to impute 
blame to us and to gain a political advantage. It is 
not generous." 

I replied that I would do my utmost to smooth 
matters over honourably without hurting any one's 
feelings, and that it was quite certain no high British 
authority was conscious of or would countenance 
anything of the kind he seemed to believe me 
cognisant of; moreover, that I was myself somewhat 
nonplussed at certain contradictions. 

Not understanding the origin of these strange 
suspicions about myself, I left Soul at once, deter- 
mined to avoid iall connection with diplomatic mystery 
until the matter should have been explained in a 
straightforward way. But no such explanations were 
obtainable; added to which I noticed at Chemulpho 
with some uneasiness that some of my own telegrams 
received did not seem to correspond with the tenour 
of those sent Thinking it possible that the Soul 
telegraph-office was at fault, I proceeded thither once 
more, requesting to see the originals. The Chinese 
clerk at once spontaneously handed to me all telegrams 



^m^ha^_«aUH»A^mi,aba m^t-- 



302 DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS 

sent and received by officials of all nationalities during 
a period of several months back. 

While all this was going on, things were further 
complicated by a man telegraphing to me to ''re- 
consider my statement of the truth," and then writing 
to say that he himself had unwittingly caused the 
whole trouble. He also had, it appeared, detained my 
telegram, and thus brought on the unintelligible replies. 

Meanwhile, a diplomatist (whose honesty of purpose 
I at once recognised) evinced both suspicion and 
alarm, and I therefore had to announce to him my 
intention not to be deterred by baseless suspicions, 
and my determination to resist anything resembling a 
menace. I was quite prepared (I added) to carry the 
matter before the highest possible authorities in Europe, 

At this disagreeable stage I received two messages : 
" We jointly repudiate the particular suspicion charged 
upon you in one of our names ; we never gave our 
sanction. We think X. has deceived you, and trust 
you will not make us all look foolish." 

I asked : " Why this reserve about one particular 
charge? I do not admit the justice of any chaise 
of bad faith at all. X. seems to have shown some 
meanness ; but I decline to accuse him, or to state 
anything I do not know to be true ; besides, you 
yourselves were cognisant of his mistake before you 
exposed me to this risk." 

My successor had now arrived; and, therefore, 
having already declined to serve in the absence of 



"HE THAT RUNS MAY READ" 303 

any frank explanation from the diplomats concerned, 
I left Corea. 

My successor did not know how I had settled the 
matter at the moment I left. It was thus : I first 
passed over diplomacy altogether, and recorded the 
truth as I believed it ; and there it remains, if any one 
wishes and has a right to ask for it. As to the mere 
brawl or personal question, I reflected that my chief 
adversary had acted in good faith; two of the other 
three had been placed in such an involved and difficult 
situation that extenuating circumstances were allowable. 
The third was doubtful, but kindly disposed. I felt 
that no one of the four either could or durst injure me 
in an open way, and I therefore decided to take 
the whole blame of the misunderstanding on myself, 
and thus summarily and peremptorily cut the matter 
short. At the same time I wrote to say that I ex- 
pected the expressions of suspicion to be withdrawn, 
and would never rest until they were. Of none of 
the four concerned have I at any period, then or 
since, asked the slightest favour. 

Many ambassadors and ministers in Europe, in 
active service or retired, are quite familiar with the 
particulars of this case. Possibly they regard it, as 
I have always wished to do, as a mere chinoiserie. 
If they doubt the fairness of what I say, let them stand 
forward face to face with me. The present satisfac- 
tion suffices for me now, for I feel that I occupy a 
more generous standpoint than the best of them. 



■■ 



CHAPTER XIV 
RAISING THE WIND 

CHANG-feRH'S WINNINGS 

ALTHOUGH I knew that Chang-firh neither 
drank nor gambled in the ordinary sense, yet 
I thought it good policy to harp upon his one re- 
deeming vice in a generally preventive sense, and 
accordingly I took advantage of his heart being 
too large for monopoly by one woman, periodically 
to **talk at" those reprehensible persons who spent 
their time in drinking, gaming, and the stews. 
Notwithstanding his similarity in many respects to 
Mr. Samuel Weller, there was a strain of the Job 
Trotter in Chang-6rh's composition, and he often 
brushed away a tear at the thought that his master 
was so dense as to suspect him of drinking and 
smoking opium. 

One day he came in his best clothes (which, he 
always explained on these rare occasions, he put 
on to increase my dignity) to ask for two days' 

leave in order to go to Macao (from Canton). I 

304 



''OMNIA MEA MECUM PORTC 305 

readily gave it, but on broad principles I considered 
it best to trot out the old growl about the saloons, 
the bagnios, and the stews. 

Two days later Chang-firh returned as I was taking 
my afternoon tea on the verandah, and, with an injured 
air, threw down a bundle on the table before me. 
'' I've won these two hundred dollars at the Macao 
lottery. I didn't like to tell you why I wanted leave 
until I had secured the money. I do not gamble, but 
I have recently taken lottery tickets, in the full belief 
that Heaven would reward a just man. I came empty- 
handed into the world, and empty-handed I go out 
of it. Man grows out of the ground [he did not 
explain this process], and returns to the ground. I 
give you these dollars : you are my master, and you 
once clothed me with an old singlet I have followed 
you for over ten years [this was in 1879], and no 
one eke can tolerate my rigid character. I never 
make squeezes ; your money is as my money. I wish 
you to apply these two hundred dollars to my benefits, 
as you think proper." 

Chang-firh felt so sorry for himself in thus con- 
templating the wicked world he was obliged to live 
in, that he turned round to conceal his emotion, and 
to transfer his tears to the cuff of his shirt 

"Well," said I, *'you need not brag. I never saw 
much good in you, and I only keep you because 
I am accustomed to you, and you make a good 
curry." 

20 



I 



306 RAISING THE WIND 

It was then arranged that I should keep one hundred 
dollars for him, and that he should spend forty dollars 
on bracelets, earrings, and other jade ornaments for his 
mother and his wife, both in Peking. There were 
some other financial arrangements by way of pro- 
viding a pension for his mother, who for fifteen years 
after that drew from him an allowance of five dollars 
a month. 

Chang-firh's emotion was so great that he "con- 
firmed his offer" to do duty thenceforward, both as 
cook and "boy," for seven dollars a month besides 
the five ; and he did so, without a serious break. By 
the other servants he was always regarded as half a 
lunatic and half a blackguard ; but his proficiency in 
the Pekingese tongue, coupled with his genius as a 
raconteur, always kept him " cock of the walk." 

HONGKONG SALTSMUGGLERS 

The smuggling of salt and opium from Hongkong to 
the mainland gave rise to incessant recriminations, and 
to the so-called Blockade of Hongkong — t\e, in 1867 
the Hoppo established a cordon of stations on the 
mainland and on the islands round Hongkong ; he also 
bought a fleet of steam-cruisers to " chivy " the delin- 
quent junks into his net. Until 1887, when it was found 
expedient to transfer these stations to Sir Robert Hart 
(under the collective names of Kowloong for Hong- 
kong, and Lappa for Macao), the collection of /iJkm 



"THE LAW IS A HASS" 307 

was managed by the Chinese themselves. Meanwhile, 
their cruisers used to watch the narrow entrances to 
Hongkong — a very easy thing to do— and occasionally, 
in the excitement of the moment, cross the line in 
fresh pursuit. Naturally, the Chinese could always 
bring a batch of witnesses to swear and prove that 
the capture was made beyond colonial waters; on the 
other hand, the captive junk-master was not exactly 
an unprejudiced witness when he and his crew, to 
save their skins and their salt, swore that they were 
distinctly within the limits of Hongkong jurisdiction. 

One of these "mixed" cases occurred shortly after 
my second arrival in Canton, and of course both sides 
were bound to assume the truth of their own case ; 
otherwise there would be no advantage in bringing 
forward the case at all. The Viceroy Liu K'un-yih 
was a just and fair-minded man : he, on his part, sent 
down a high European customs official (Mr. McLeavy 
Brown) to make enquiry ; or, rather, he asked him as a 
favour to go, for he had no power to " order " him — any 
thing savouring of a " request and require " in customs 
matters must come from the Hoppo. Just then irre- 
fragable evidence was accidently discovered that the 
slashed anchor-cable of the captured junk was still 
attached to the anchor, which lay imbedded un- 
mistakably within Hongkong waters. There was no 
getting over this, though "in law and theory" the 
proof that the anchor could not be there was absolute. 
However, as we all know, the "law is a hass"; and, 



^irf»i 



308 RAISING THE WIND 

as the Chinese say : " What exists not in reason may 
exist in fact." 

These cases are, of course, ** diplomatically " pressed 
by the Consul at Canton on behalf of the Governor of 
Hongkong, who has no power to dictate. But it so 
happened just then that the exceedingly able and 
vivacious Sir John (then Mr.) Pope Hennessy was 
meritoriously anxious to cultivate the good graces of 
the Chinese in general, and of the Viceroy in particular. 
On the other hand, Liu K'un-yih is not the person to 
cultivate even the Emperor's good graces, still less 
those of a foreign official ; moreover, he is a man who 
never " goes behind," — a virtue which some of our own 
diplomatists of the Parisian school might cultivate with 
advantage. 

The situation was ridiculous. Governor Hennessy 
wrote the very day the anchor was discovered — or, at 
least, constat^^io say that he had decided not to 
press the case for the boatman ; on the same day the 
Viceroy, who had proved his case, wished, on the broad 
grounds of common-sense, to surrender the junk to the 
unhappy boatman ; but he could not because no one 
"claimed the revoke." Under these circumstances the 
Consul, who was a man highly venerated by the Viceroy, 
decided to send me to interview the Salt Commissioner, 
— a Manchu of the Imperial family, who spoke pure 
Pekingese, and was therefore exceptionally accessible 
to the poetry of pleas. 

The "arrangement" is a good instance of the 



"IF SALT HATH LOST ITS SALTNESS" 309 

reasonableness of mandarins when approached "com- 
fortably," without fuss and feathers. Ch'Sngfu said : 
" The anchor business is of course awkward ; but as the 
Viceroy has proved his case, I can't give him away, at 
all events without asking him. Besides, the junk is 
broken up, and the cargo already sold : we caiit give 
it up, even if we wished to do so." The reply was : " Oh ! 
that's easy enough. Buy another junk like it, and fill 
it with salt I will undertake that the junkman gets 
justice without the Governor being informed officially at 
all. The Viceroy can write us a severe letter of censure 
if he likes, upon the terms of which you and I can 
agree, and prove anything he has a fancy to prove in 
order to save his face, so long as we get the junk." 
This was done : the junk was shortly afterwards sent 
quietly down to the Harbour-master of Hongkong, 
"chock full" of salt; and there the matter dropped. 
The Chinese claimants had thus not to cry out, as 
the traditional Roman litigant did to the "fancy" 
lawyers : " Yes, gentlemen, very learned ; but pray 
speak about my goats. Revenons d nos fnoutonsJ* 



A SCANDALOUS SQUEEZE 

Under the treaty, traitorous (or loyal, according to 
taste) Chinese who had aided the English army were 
not to be directly or indirectly persecuted, and amongst 
the greatest of these traitors (or heroes) was Kwok 
A-cheong, the millionaire of Hongkong. But the 



■^1 



3IO RAISING THE WIND 

Hoppo of Canton had just lost money by having 
to go away for three months and mourn for his 
mother (Tartars " do " three months instead of putting 
in the full classical three years) : hence his coffers were 
low, and he looked about him wildly for game of 
any odd kind to fill up his scanty bag withaL 

We were horrified one day to hear that Kwok 
A-cheong*s son had been arrested on the West 
River, and been held to ransom. It was a stupid thing 
for young Kwok to do, to fall into this trap ; for, 
even if his father had been a British subject, which 
was doubtful, that did not make his sons British 
unless born in a British colony; which was also, in 
this particular instance, doubtful ; moreover, Chinese- 
British subjects were only locally so, unless they elected 
to wear some external mark of nationality; to report, 
and to register ; which was all worse than doubtful, for 
it was all certain — but unluckily in the n^ative. Yet 
the true facts were well known : young Kwok was an 
opium-smoker, and had naturally taken enough good 
opium for a few weeks' sail iip a poor and outlandish 
river ; he had also taken, as all rich Chinese commonly 
do without anticipating danger, a few clocks and 
musical boxes as presents to friends. 

But the whole business had been managed by agents^ 
provocateurs under the Hoppo's own supervision, and 
the difficulty was how to prove it. All high officials 
have a right to ** command " the hien^ and accordingly 
Kwok was sent by the Hoppo to the hietis gaol. 



"PUT MONEY IN THY PURSE" 3" 

The first step of the Consulate was to "lay it on 
thick" at once, and demand from the hien the 
instant release of a British subject. It was hoped 
that the hietiy who was a sensible man, would "drop 
it," before the Hoppo had time to consult the foreign 
busybodies who are always at hand with "legal" 
advice. However, the hien, like a modern Pontius 
Pilate, simply washed his hands of the whole business, 
and sent the man back to the Hoppo, who, with 
Manchu temerity, stuck bravely to his guns : and really 
he was right — i,e. he would have been right, if we had 
not known he was doing a put-up job. He argued, 
of course : " Every penny of the revenue I collect 
belongs to his Majesty. Here is a Chinese subject, 
in Chinese dress, and a Chinese boat ; with no papers, 
external marks, or flag ; smuggling opium and clocks. 
What right have you to demand his release, or ask 
what penalty I intend to impose in the Emperor's 
name ? " 

Meanwhile, Kwok A-cheong sent up one of those 
doubtful foreigners who always hang on to the skirts 
of rich Chinamen : he was an Irishman, of the type 
one occasionally meets on the strand of the various 
Pacific islands, " running " some petty king. It was 
evident from his manner that he had power to offer 
any money to get the man out ; but as no money 
was wanted at the Consulate, he was bowed out and 
assured that all that was possible would be done, no 
matter what he, or old Kwok, or any one else wanted ; 



312 RAISING THE WIND 

(and I hope, for his own sake, he made a good thing 
out of it for himself). 

The duel with the Hoppo went on for a fortnight, 
''time" being called on several occasions; when at 
length, fortunately, Governor Pope Hennessy (whether 
intentionally or not I do not know) did us a really 
good turn. Apropos of quite another matter, he said : 
" If any one of the Hoppo's cruisers is caught making 
arrests in Hongkong waters again, I shall have to 
confiscate such cruiser." 

The straining of language on both sides had 
already reached artistic limits. It was not difficult, 
however, with such an elastic language as the Chinese, 
to translate this handy threat quite accurately, but at 
the same time to make it sound: ''If we can once get 
hold of the Hoppo's big steamer, we shall seize it," 
and, by writing one despatch on two subjects, to refer 
the threat back in imagination to the prisoner Kwok 
Yao. Anywise, a copy was sent to the Viceroy Liu 
K'un-yih, who had been looking on all this time as an 
amused spectator, wondering who would "come out 
top" from the scrimmage. Alarmed now at the 
possible gravity of the political developments, he did 
what Chinese viceroys will very rarely do — he exercised 
his supreme, or " urgent," authority over the Hoppo, 
and ordered the instant release of the man. 

The Viceroy, three days later, came in person, and 
told us the whole story in detail as a fine joke. He 
said (in his fearful dialect) that the Hoppo's proposed 



«WHBN A LADY'S IN THE CASE" 313 

squeeze amounted to — he pulled a face and crossed 
his two forefingers like a horse-dealer (a cross means 
four or ten, according to whether Maltese or St 
George's). I asked : " Ss wan ? " (four myriads). He 
said eagerly : " Zz vaa ! " {shih'Wan)—Le, ten myriads, 
or one hundred thousand dollars — perhaps a hundred 
thousand taels; I forget which. 



WHO'LL BUY MY GINGHAM? 

When I was travelling in Sz Ch'wan, both my 
boatmen and my chairman used to annoy me by 
repeated and interminable delays whilst they chaffered 
about the price of straw-shoes, fuel, rice, or some other 
necessary trifle ; the whole value of which never ex- 
ceeded a few pence, but the contested margin of 
which was rarely more than a farthing. I found it 
paid me much better to order twenty pairs of shoes, 
a hundredweight of fuel, or whatever ran short, and 
give it to them for nothing: the cost to me was 
practically nil^ in the scale of my daily expenditure ; 
but it pleased them, and gave me an agreeable air 
of magnifico (if not, occasionally, mentecato or loco). 

One hot day I had taken refuge from the sun in my 
chair, whilst the bearers were swabbing themselves down 
and refreshing themselves at a rustic stall (under the 
inevitable travellers' banyan tree, which shades every 
Sz Ch'wan village) with a cup of gruel and a smoke. 
A small crowd had collected in the vicinity, and, for 



t 



314 RAISING THE WIND 

want of something better to do, I listened to the 
conversation. One man held a common, green-paper 
umbrella in his hand, which he was regarding thought- 
fully and stroking, much as a puzzled "vet." fingers 
a horse's hough. He nodded significantly to an old 
woman, who watched appealingly for his opinion. A 
nice Utile boy by her side eagerly handed the umbrella 
to several other thoughtful critics ; it was opened, held 
up to the sun, scrutinised, and carefully considered 
by all. My chair-coolies then joined in the discussion ; 
and soon there were signs of animation, if not of 
anger. A choc d'intirits had taken place. 

" Boy, go and see what it is." 

"It is an old woman who wants to sell her 
umbrella." 

" What for ? " 

" She says she has seven more days* journey to tramp, 
and has spent all her copper cash." 

I then walked up and interviewed the old lady. 
She had that polished, brown, parchment face, deeply 
wrinkled and thickly freckled, so common to Chinese 
female rustics ; her wisp of grey hair was done up 
into a tiny top-knot on her streaky, bright crown • 
like all her kind she went bareheaded, but carried a 
huge straw hat slung to her side for occasional wear ; 
her attire was the usual blue cotton, trimmed with 
cheap Birmingham braid, all well washed and whole- 
some. She told me her story : she had been on the 
plod for some time, and had to get to a city far 



"HER 'PRENTICE HAN' SHE TRIED" 315 

away beyond Chungking. According to the unanimous 
testimony of the villagers, the umbrella was worth from 
one hundred and forty to one hundred and fifty cash, 
(fivepence-farthing to sixpence) ; and the average daily 
rate at the inns en route would be from fifty to seventy 
cash apiece per diem, first class. It was a distressing 
situation ; but she really must raise " a string " in some 
way. The landlord, meanwhile, clapped down a " cat- 
head " {i,e. the contents of two bowls jammed into 
one) of rice on the table, evidently intending to give 
it for nothing (it was worth less than a farthing). 

I was so distressed at the thought of the old woman 
trudging with her tiny stumps hungrily along for two 
hundred miles, dragging with her the bright child, that 
I ordered a string of one thousand cash to be at once 
fished up from the "well" of the sedan-chair. But 
just at that instant the little boy, misunderstanding 
my movement, rashly pulled out a piece of silver from 
his sleeve, and ordered it to be weighed ; it was 
perhaps worth six hundred cash. Seeing this, I 
reduced my largess to four hundred. 

" Look, look, old lady ! His Excellency bestows four 
hundred cash upon you." 

The old woman did not seem quite to understand 
the situation, and never even thanked the barbarian ; 
but I left her, like Pierre Loti's friend, counting out 
the money, and muttering to see if it was correct. 

Old women are invariably treated with respect by 
every one, and they usually deserve it. Their age 



3i6 RAISING THE WIND 

exempts them from the necessity of simulating exces- 
sive modesty, and their tempers seem to mellow as 
the troubles of motherhood and mother-in-law-hood 
fade into long-past souvenirs de jeunesse. They usually 
have a good deal of kindness and bonhomie in their 
composition, and they are no mean doctors where it 
is a question of simple chill, fever, or other obvious 
malady. They are sympathetic, unexacting, severely 
conservative, and often inclined to be religious ; this 
last virtue is called *' superstition " by missionaries ; but 
it becomes " piety " when they nominally accept Chris- 
tianity. And it is not difficult to get a Chinese woman 
to do that if her husband does it; nor is it difficult 
to make the husband do it if his father had done 
it before him ; in that case, indeed, he is bom to it, 
and needs no making. Nascitur^ non fit 



THERE'S MONEY IN IT 

One of the most lucrative trades around Shanghai 
and Chinkiang used to be, and perhaps still is, that 
of being shot The way it was worked was thus. The 
merchants often go up the creeks in house-boat parties, 
or wander about the fields in the outskirts, looking 
for snipe. There are no hedges or game laws any- 
where in China, and innumerable small boys are always 
at hand to do the beating, gun-carrying, ditching, and 
picking up. It often occurred, under these circum- 
stances, that a few dust-shot were put into the calf of 



« HAVE MEN ABOUT ME THAT ARE FAT" 317 

a man's leg ; and occasionally even an eye was injured. 
But, just as with the fixed compensation for injury 
to fields during the paper hunts, so with the parents 
of small boys shot, of the relatives of adults, a fairly 
definite tariff gradually established itself; so much so 
that people used deliberately to dodge behind bushes, 
or lurk in the ditches, so as to be ready (reversing 
the action of the Boers) to raise their hands and 
yell the instant a gun went off in that direction. 
Very few Chinese rustic skins are without an 
assortment of sores and bruises ; and nothing was, 
therefore, easier than to rub a shot or some powder 
in, or to pretend that " internal injury " had occurred. 
As the irate villagers thronged round with their poles 
(all peasants have a carrying pole at hand), timid or 
non-Chinese-speaking sportsmen were often only too 
glad to compromise on the spot; especially if a few 
old women with buckets of liquid manure joined in 
the discussion. Otherwise the case was brought 
through the hieii before the English Police Court, or 
even before the Supreme Court; or it was arbitrated 
by the consul ; or by a joint body. 

It was, therefore, a fine fat day for the Chinamen 
of Chinkiang, when a couple of thriving lawyers from 
Hongkong — one a genuine K.C. — came up for a week's 
shooting. I happened to meet them a few days after 
the "tragedy," and they told me exactly what had 
occurred. Neither spoke a single word of the local 
dialect, or of any dialect at all approaching it ; they 



^WUh 



318 RAISING THE WIND 

went out alone ; and they were everywhere followed 
by the usual assortment of impudent, officious boys, 
who of course were able to differentiate the greenhorn 
from the local barbarian genus, Mr. McKean tried 
to " shoo " them away, and, in so doing, somehow let 
off his gun. Down dropped a boy at once like a 
lump of lead ; and instantly there was' a roar, a 
rush, an earthquake, and, so to speak, the end of 
the world. Naturally the lawyers at first assumed 
that the whole thing was a " plant," and were inclined 
to argue. Amidst a forest of poles, and a whirl- 
wind of gesticulations and howls, the two barristers 
were seized and bound. Mr. Hayllar was, after a time, 
set free, and allowed to make arrangements in com- 
parative unrestraint. I forget exactly how far he was 
kept under surveillance ; but his friend had to undergo 
the torture of having bamboo withes tightly bound 
round his wrists, besides suffering imprisonment and 
semi-starvation in uncomfortable rustic quarters for 
many hours, if not for a whole day and night When 
I saw him, he still bore the marks of " strangulation " 
upon his arms and hands. 

On this occasion the boy really had been shot, 
under their very noses, as dead as a door-nail. 
The persuasive and forensic arts of a dumb K.C. 
" gesticulating in English " were vain before a rustic 
forum of garlicky Chinamen ; however successful they 
might always hitherto have been before a bewigged 
Chief Justice, or a smug jury. They were " in for it " 



QUIS TEMPERET A LACHRYMIS? 319 

with a vengeance ; and of course " life for life " was 
urgently demanded by way of forcing the purse-strings 
wide open, and striking hard while the iron was 
hot. On the whole they got off very cheaply: the 
boy's life was priced at a few hundred dollars (say, 
at then rates, about ;f 40 or £so), which, though not 
much for gentlemen who batten on retaining fees 
and refreshers, is quite a fortune for a Chinese peasant 
family. 



THE SALT-SMUGGLER 

When I went up the Yangtsze in a native boat 
from Ichang to Chungking, the captain made no 
secret of the fact that he was ballasting my boat 
with a cargo of Hwai salt, which in Sz ChVan has 
quite a fancy price. But it was local custom to 
smuggle, and I certainly was not going to risk my 
life in the rapids by arguing with a discontented 
crew. In coming down the Chdh Kiang rivers, I also 
observed that the local skipper took advantage of 
my official position to run a cargo. If he had been 
caught (I think he was) I should not have interfered, 
so long as I got to the end of my journey without 
delay. I never took any steps to prevent smuggling 
by my servants, except where foreign steamers, 
foreign custom-houses, or the Consulate reputation 
was concerned Caveat actor. 

One day my late friend Paulus von Moellendorff, 



.» ft i I ■ ■ I II ■ . — ^^»^i^i ■■■ ■ SJL^^^—i ■ ■ ■•-- ■ ■■ ■ ... — # ,1 ..o» rjr^ 



320 RAISING THE WIND 

(who, until his lamentable death last April, had been 
attached to the Imperial Customs as a high func- 
tionary,) was coming up the Yangtsze among the 
steamer passengers, when he chanced to look into one 
of the boxes which had been shoved well under his 
berth. This particular box was not a cabin box, but 
was supposed to carry blacking-brushes, and oddments 
of that kind ; and it struck him as singular that so 
cumbrous and unpolite an article should have been 
carried in there. To his astonishment he found it 
full of salt Without saying anything to his " boy," 
who was peacefully slumbering in the native portion 
astern, he gave orders for the contents of the box 
to be emptied into the river through the capacious 
port-hole. 

On arrival at Kewkiang (three days' sail), the 
"boy" of course turned up to collect the luggage, 
and to superintend its removal ashore. Nothing was 
said. When he lugged out the box, a slight pallor 
suffused (as a good Irishman would say) his blushing 
countenance; and the corners of his eyes sought 
indirect communication with those of his inexorable 
master, who meanwhile was gloating over the scene 
with sardonic calm. The mental problem for the 
boy was : ** Did I forget to put the salt in ; or did 
the steward take it out for himself; or is the master 
*in' with somebody, either in view of profit, or of 
my detection ? " It was like the dilemma of the tiger- 
pursued American who had jumped inside the camel's 



WAS SEIN MUSS, DAS GESCHEHE 321 

body : " Shall I bunk in ; or shall I bunk out ; or 
shall I gnaw away to make him travel}^* 

If any raw hand imagines that under these cir- 
cumstances he can catch a Chinaman tripping, he 
is very much mistaken. With cheerful alacrity the 
boxes and wraps were taken ashore, amid the silent 
admiration (to use another Hibernicism) of the skipper, 
the European passengers, and the others who were 
in the secret Nothing impresses the Chinese more 
than silence : left to themselves, they would have 
had a fearful row over the matter; not in order to 
settle any fanciful point of honour, but with the 
purely practical object of finally " locating " the money 
loss in copper cash. 

These events happened in 1873, and many a time 
since then have I had occasion to take them as a 
model for my own conduct. Such chinoisertes do no 
real harm, and it is foolish to "cut" the poor fellows* 
wages, or to send the foolish offenders in for a 
flogging, with the Quixotic object of setting up a 
standard of morality quite foreign to their natures. 
Can the leopard change his spots? 



21 



CHAPTER XV 
POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

THE MANCHU AGENT-PROVOCATEUR 

ALTHOUGH the Viceroy Liu K'un-yih is an 
honourable man, he is just like our European 
statesmen in accepting information where he can get 
it: "so are they all, all honourable men." Nor was 
Liu K'un-yih the maker of things, which he took as 
he found them at Canton : like our own diplomats, 
he had to accept the instruments provided for him, 
and make the best of them ; but during the time I 
knew him at Canton I never heard any subordinate 
officers complain that Liu K'un-yih had listened to 
statements made privately behind their backs whilst 
officially accepting their services, or had made rash 
charges against them in order the better to struggle 
out of an awkward position himself. 

But there was one man, a Manchu, — and a very 
chatty, witty fellow, too, — who did complain that his 
superiors had done all this to him before Liu K'un-yih 
came at all ; and that they had reported his shing-ming 

(= repute) to ht p' ing-ch' ang {=i ordinary), — a favourite 

32a 



UNOCULUS INTER CAECOS 323 

Chinese way of suppressing a subordinate when you 
cannot get at him straightforwardly. But it was not 
only not Liu K'un-yih who had " reported " him ; 
indeed that high officer was even disposed to test 
the truth for himself, and I had opportunities of getting 
this Manchu many a job on special ^' foreign '' service ; 
so I always took these opportunities when they occurred, 
for I liked the Tartar's frank and open ways, and 
enjoyed brushing up my Pekingese by talking to him 
in that dialect. 

Hence it came about that Liu K'un-yih thought 
he could pick up plenty of miscellaneous information 
from foreigners through the said Manchu; and the 
Manchu used to seek out all foreign officials, and 
even to drop in frequently of an evening to see 
me at the old yamht ; to smoke a cigar, and to 
" pump " me. 

I have not, and never had, the slightest objection to 
being pumped {i.e. of all I am willing to disclose), and 
think there is sometimes a suspicion of humbug in the 
pretended " reserve " of conventional diplomacy, which 
as often means incompetence or uncertainty as it means 
prudence, and this whether it be Chinese or European : 
a man who plays a sensible and straightforward game 
needs very little mystification or tampering with the 
truth. Hence (to come from generals to specifics) I 
allowed the Manchu to pump me freely when he, and 
many others of several nationalities, were anxious to be 
perfectly exact about Chunghou's doings at Livadia, 



324 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

on the occasion when a treaty was being negotiated 
on the Hi question. And this is how he did it 

Rtissian names are not easily rendered into Chinese, 
and for some reason the Roman transliteration of one 
trisyllabic name was anxiously desired by an official 
personage. It would have been perfectly easy to ask 
me openly : " Do these three characters represent 
' Koyander,' the Russian Ckargi d'affaires ? " But he 
chose a more circuitous route, so I said: "Give me 
hold of that book you have in your hand, and let me 
see the context." (I did not then know the word 
" Koyander.") 

To my surprise I found the pamphlet comprised the 
treaty itself, the Peking correspondence, and the com- 
mercial convention, all neatly bound up in one ; it had 
just been privately sent to the Manchu by a secretary 
in the employ of Chang Chl-tung, who was then 
banning to make his name. It had come all the 
way from the city of Nan-p'i, near Peking, peissing 
simply between friend and friend : it was nothing more 
than early news unexpectedly received ; there was 
nothing oRicial about it, nor was there any underhand 
work. So I said : " Well, I am your friend too ; 
just let me look at it comfortably in my own house. 
1 will let you have it back for sure after a day 
or so." 

No one in Europe outside Russia had yet seen the 
treaty ; or, at all events, no European in China had 
done sa The document was duly returned within 



"OPIUM AND HIS BRIDES" 325 

forty-eight hours ; and I just mention the episode in 
order to instance how clever and secret the Chinese 
can be when they particularly wish to pump an ordinary 
individual of unsuspecting disposition. 



THE VAGABOND ESCORT 

Ever since Mr. Margary's murder and the Chefoo 
Convention, the Chinese Government has, in its fitful 
and incomplete way, made efforts to insist upon 
foreigners travelling inland being duly protected and 
properly treated. Amongst the measures adopted are 
registering their habitations, examining passports, 
following movements, and furnishing escorts. These 
precautionary steps would be ample — if adequately 
carried out ; but the incurable want of thoroughness 
in everything Chinese is such that nothing is ever 
done properly, even if good faith be used in the attempt 
to do it. 

As an official, I was treated perhaps a trifle better 
than a peripatetic missionary ; but I soon discovered 
that my escort men were usually ruffians "on the 
make," and therefore I never, under any circum- 
stances, allowed my passport out of my hands to 
be "copied," — a typical piece of Chinese imbecility 
which always meant intolerable delay and extortion. 

During my travels in North Sz Ch'wan, one district 
magistrate, whom I had ascertained from gossips at 
his own door to be a lazy opium-smoker and a good- 



326 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

for-nothing man all round, absolutely declined to see 
me, and sent most impertinent messages to me by his 
attendants, or by the police; but I had to get over 
twenty more miles that afternoon, and had no time 
to let him feel my displeasure in person. 

The "escort" on this occasion was simply a single 
ragamuffin, with a tattered old official hat, which he 
carried with him done up in a red handkerchief, for 
use when he should report himself to the next hien. 
He had received from his own hien a few cash to 
start with, and he had certain rights of " entertainment " 
and purveyance en route, apart from anything he could 
extract from me. His duty was to "deliver" me safe 
and sound to the next city district These and many 
other things he told me as we marched amicably 
along together under a broiling sun ; in fact, most of 
my knowledge of "high life" in yamitis has been 
derived from these scallywags. 

I said : " Let me look at your warrant" 

" Certainly," he said, being himself (as they say in 
Lancashire) " no scholard." 

It was a printed paper, with names written in the 
blank spaces. It ran : " We, the Itien of etc., etc., 
hereby require and command the policeman X. to 
take into his custody, item : criminals, one ; native place, 
Ying barbarian ; chairs, three ; etc., etc., and him 
rightly and surely deliver to the hien of etc., etc. 
Tremble and obey ! " 

" I will give you a letter to take back to your 



"TO WRITE ME DOWN AN ASS" 327 

master, and here is a present for yourself. You need 
not hand this document in." 

My letter ran as follows : " I have safely arrived 
here, and your man X. has shown me every 
attention, for which I thank you. He informed 
me that it was his duty to hand his warrant 
in to the neighbouring hien ; but I have myself 
kept it (against his earnest entreaties), and given 
him this letter to hand to you, instead of your col- 
league's official receipt. I do not think you can be 
aware that whilst the Tang, the Sung, the Mongol, 
Ming, and Manchu dynasties have each in turn 
'chased the stag,' the great English dynasty has 
ruled for one thousand years without a serious break 
in family connection. I have been deputed by the 
officers of the same Ying dynasty to travel in Sz Ch'wan. 
You declined to sec me when I visited you ; but your 
own people told me you were a great opium-smoker, 
and never rose till two p.m. I shall be back in 
Chungking in eighteen days, and unless I find there 
an apology from you, written with your own hand and 
in the most courteous language, I shall officially send a 
copy of your escort-warrant to Peking, in order that 
the Government there may see how their commands 
are carried out by district magistrates in this province." 

When I reached Chungking, I found a neat letter 
from him, written on pretty fancy paper, thanking 
me for my magnanimity, and expressing a hope that 
I would call in on my way back from the north. 



328 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

And there the matter dropped ; for really it h 
hollow and insufferable official system, rather 
the malice of individuals, which evolves these 
insults. The whole theory of mandarin rule 
mixture of " bluff " and foolish make-believe, 
where foreigners are concerned. 

MY ESCORT 

We were waterbound at K'wei Kwan on the 
down from Sz Ch'wan in 1881. This was my 
journey in the West, and as I had been laid U{ 
three months with two sprained ankles, conseq 
upon the riot already described, I was not i 
mood to be trifled with, 

K'wei Kwan is at the mouth of the gorge which o 
like a bottle on to the plains of Eastern China, 
water rose forty feet in one night ; no boat durst ver 
down ; and so, as weeks of wearisome delay wen 
the cards, I informed the civil and military mands 
in charge of the uncaged wild beast that I intei 
to walk ; alone if necessary. There was somethinj 
nasty in my eye when I said this that chairs wer 
readiness at five next morning, and off we went, 
and baggage, six chairs, numberless bearers, es< 
cooks, **boy," and what not. I never enjoyed mj 
more : over hill and down dale ; across swollen rh 
in the mountain clouds; across rickety bridges; pig-s 
to live in, nothing but local fare to eat ; simple pec 



WEARINESS CAN SNORE ON FLINT 329 

wild surroundings ; we were wet through and worn out 
every evening ; and the stinkingest barns nursed us into 
the sweetest of sleeps, on the filthiest of reed couches. 

By degrees I discovered that my military mandarin, 
who always carried an executioner's sword in his hand, 
was a splendid fellow. Every night he set his soldiers 
to work first thing to inflate my air-bed ; he always 
got me the best (i>. the most private) room or bunk ; 
kept away the crowds with his sword ; and, in short, 
acted as "head bottle-washer" all round, in quite an 
undemonstrative way. 

The civil mandarin, who had set out on his duties with 
great courtesy and dignity, proved rather a nuisance 
than otherwise, as time wore on. He used to sit 
down before I sat down, try to secure the best room, 
assume to give his own orders to start, and so on. No 
one is disposed to be less exacting than myself in points 
of personal dignity and privilege ; but as he had got a 
" job " {cJiai'Sht) for which, in accordance with custom 
he levied purveyances and benevolences on each city 
governor ; and as my safety and comfort were of the 
essence of the job in question, I did not see why I 
should take a secondary position in his favour. He 
observed my dissatisfaction, but made no attempt 
whatever to mollify me : he seemed rather to enjoy 
irritating the barbarian. 

After a week of ups and downs, we at last descended 
into the level country near Ichang, arrived at which 
place I proceeded to announce the imminent distribu- 



330 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

tion of the fifty taels or so of gratuities I had set apart 
for the escort First, in response to my summons, 
came the military man and his soldiers, who, to their 
intense surprise and gratification, received a week's 
pay each, or about twenty-five taels in all (so far as 
I can recollect). 

The civil mandarin followed in great state, having 
dressed himself up with g^eat care ; no doubt he 
thought that at least one forty or fifty taels would be 
his proportionate reward, as the military man was 
in theory (but not in practice) under his orders. I 
vied with him in affability; readily admitted that 
the roads were fearful, the fare poor, and the weather 
odious ; but, notwithstanding all these drawbacks, I 
assured him that the military man (his colleague) and 
the excellent soldiers had left a grateful impression 
on me ; and that I intended to write — in fact, I had 
written — to the taotai of Chungking to thank him for 
his efforts in my favour. As for himself, being a 
literary mandarin, of course I regarded him as an 
equal : we were on younger and elder brother footing, 
and I would not insult his feelings by alluding to 
" that pile " (a poetical term for " money "). I gave 
him — I forget what, a fish-knife, sugar-basin, or some 
such trumpery, — " as a keepsake and memento." He 
kept his countenance, and the present along with it ; 
then bowed himself politely out ; but he could not 
help biting his lips with rage, especially when he saw 
my " boy " giggling. 



"A PARTNER IN THE TRADE" 331 



THE BIG TING'CWAI AND THE SMALL 

riNG-CHAI 

At Wfinchow — a sleepy hollow — the consular servants 
had dropped into one of the gfrooves into which they 
nearly always drop, subject to varying surroundings. 
The writer, a gentleman of high character and reserved 
demeanour, finding the fing-cJCah (official messengers) 
too much for him with his imported dialect, attended 
punctiliously to his business, but gave as wide a berth 
as possible to the interior economy of the Consulate. 
The door-keeper was an honest clown, as most Chinese 
door-keepers are : clowns, because no one but a clown 
would ; honest, because no one but an honest man could, 
satisfactorily do the work. The gardener, boatman, 
etc., had no facilities for making squeezes. The big 
tHng-Mai was an opium-smoker, and an accredited 
rogue ; but he was marvellously intelligent, punctual, 
respectful, and even gentlemanly. The little tUng-^h'ai 
was plebeian, humble ; but foxy and hungry ; very 
ambitious to attract the master's eye, and to assert 
himself Each servant signed for and received his 
own money, but doubtless the big fing-ch'ai "ran 
the show" in some occult way: anyhow, he was 
usually supposed (by Chang-6rh) to receive a per- 
centage on all salaries. 

It so happened one day that a missionary or a 
tidewaiter^I forget which) told me that public gaming 



332 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

was going on at night in my premises. I asked 
" boy," who seemed highly gratified at the opportu 
thus afforded of reproving me for not encouraging 
to lay daily information against the world in gen< 
"When I tell you X. is a villain, you ask me 
evidence, and decline to believe me. I have i 
strangers come in at night ; but, as I don't undersi 
the barbarous local jai^on, it is not for me to 
about too much." 

The result of the enquiry was that the big /' 
ch^ai (who always went home at night to his \ 
was found not to be implicated, but the little t'ing-c 
was clearly shown to have kept a gambling resor 
his kennel on my premises. He happened to be 
taking messages when these facts were disclosed, 
room was carefully searched and stripped, under 
own superintendence ; his mattrass, coverlets, and e 
clothes were laid in the muddy road at my f 
door ; his boxes, carefully packed, were placed on 
mattrasses ; his spare trousers, hat, etc., upon the bo: 
and the whole of his other miscellaneous property 
ranged around ; the pile surmounted by the guilty c 
and the roulette table. 

Nothing more was said to any one, and I sele 
a comfortable corner in the verandah from w 
to view the fun. When he came back and saw 
furniture exhibited to public view, he was told : " 
have been dismissed by the great man for gambli 
He then began to cry, and hurried upstairs to 



CADA UM EM SUA CASA E REY 333 

verandah to beg me for mercy. As a rule I do not 
approve of beating Chinamen^ but my motto in my 
own house always was Quod principi placuity legis kabet 
vigorem. On this occasion I clutched the small t'tng- 
ch'aihy the pigtail and boxed his ears until he reeled ; 
then I turned him round and administered a good 
kick ; and finally I said : " Now you may take your 
things back to your room." 

All this was done in silence, and in full view of 
the priest, the writer, the servants, and the man in 
the street. No further allusion was made to the 
matter, and the little tUng-ch^ai went about his work 
as usual. He behaved very well at the riot, and was 
at Wfinchow when I left: as Chinese menials usually 
last out their own century, probably he is there still, 
and very likely an excellent servant. 



TIT-FOR-TAT 

Amongst what appear to us to be the absurdities of 
the Chinese, and, in fact, the whole Oriental system, is 
the universally spread desire to assert superiority by 
insisting upon what the Celestials themselves call ckan 
sftang'feng (= getting to windward). I say appear to 
us ; for it must not be forgotten that nations do things 
because they think they are right : thus, our conventional 
treatment of women appears to the Chinese a mixture 
of imbecility, ill-breeding, and buffoonery. Just before I 
first saw him in 1871, Li Hung-chang had to be hauled 



334 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

over the coals for trying to keep Sir Thomas (then Mr.) 
Wade dallying at his front door. His brother Li 
Han-chang was similarly tweaked six years later by 
Mr. Grosvenor, who with his colleagues Davenport, 
Baber, etc., deliberately arranged to " make him smart " 
in turn by standing, watches in hand, behind their own 
door, and keeping the Governor Ts*6n with the Special 
Commissioner Li waiting in the midst of a crowd of boys 
for exactly the same number of minutes the three 
Englishmen had been kept. My own experience covers 
all sorts, shapes, and sizes of snubs ; but as conventional 
demeanour (Chinese or English) has often a tendency 
to appear ridiculous demeanour to me, — at all events 
unless it be carried through with perfect correctness 
and liberal display, — I generally amused myself with 
teasing or " chaffing " the enemy, rather than worried 
myself by getting angry. 

Amongst the favourite Celestial " pin-pricks " are the 
official allusions to England as an inferior Power by 
not "raising" the word, or not ** leaving a hole" 
before it; speaking of his Majesty the King or his 
Excellency the Minister as "the ruler in question," 
or " the said envoy " ; calling foreigners " barbarians " ; 
and so on. There is another curious way of " taking 
it out " of Europeans which is publicly adopted by 
mandarins : this is by " spreading themselves out " 
as they walk into the room ; surrounding themselves 
with their servants, who then ostentatiously light 
pipes, and bring in the " hot rag " to swab the face ; 



"KEEN ENCOUNTER OF OUR WITS" 335 

expectorating and eructating "all over the place"; 
and so on. This form of snubbery (scarcely snobbery) 
is too subtle to obtain permanent word-for-word 
definition in books, however much it may for the 
moment compel the personal attention of foreign hosts. 
Manchu officials express it in a quaint, Chaucerian way 
by using the metaphor " display of urine," — having 
occult mental reference to a donkey's noisy attitude and 
aggressive demand for space under certain conditions 
of nature, when there is a general inclination on the 
part of bystanders to "get out of his way." 

One day, shortly after my first arrival in Hoihow, I 
was prowling about the streets to look for proclamations, 
as there were forbidding rumours circulating against 
the missionaries. Here, again, the foreign official has 
an advantage over the Chinese, who cannot, or seldom 
dares to, move about incognito. I noticed and tore 
down one proclamation issued by the taotai (the chief 
civilian official in the island), in which he quoted, 
word for word, a petition to himself wherein the word 
"barbarian" was used. In China there is no such 
thing as an accident in such matters; every word 
is deliberately balanced by practised literates, and no 
one ever by any chance makes a mistake against native 
dignity. In reply to my note expostulating, and 
suggesting that "even if a man of his high literary 
repute should fail to see where good taste lay, the 
treaty distinctly stipulates that the word * barbarian ' 
shall not be used," he replied somewhat cavalierly. 



• ' -■ ^' 



336 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

pooh-poohing the whole business, and insinuating 
that "a man of my reading and capacity might well 
afford to overlook the careless expressions of the silly 
people." 

It would not have been difficult, on these facts, to 
force even Li Han-chang, then Viceroy at Canton, 
to censure the taotai, who was a personal friend of 
his ; but as a rule I have tried to avoid " punish- 
ments," which are apt to embitter when they do not 
convince : still, here was an opportunity for a good 
rasping bit of sarcasm which would harmlessly scarify 
the old taotai for the rest of his life ; besides, ** talent " 
in literary repartee really often does secure respect 
from the Chinese. I wrote somewhat as follows : 
" No one is more disposed than myself to be lenient 
with erring humanity ; but this is a question of treaty 
stipulation, which neither you nor I have the quality 
to question. Moreover, it appears to me that a Great 
Clear mandarin acts with doubtful dignity when he 
actually adopts, instead of gently chiding, or at least 
himself avoiding, a popular solecism. For instance, 
our gross English ancestors, when first they saw the 
Manchu plaited cue, (imposed, as of course you know, 
by the Tartars upon your countrymen under pain of 
death, as an external badge of the Great Clear dynasty's 
semi-divine power,) called it a * pigtail,' for want of a 
better word; and so much is this still the only word 
for it in our rough language, that when our cultured 
classes wish to speak of the object in question, they are 



''SOLVENTUR RISU TABULAE" 337 

fain to borrow from courtly France the expression queue^ 
in order to avoid an indelicacy. I feel sure that you 
would appreciate my courtesy in refraining, when 
speaking of your hair, from the use of the popular word 
* tail of a pig,* the possible inference of which is obvious : 
in the same way I trust that, by way of fair exchange, 
you will in future avoid the use of the word * barbarian.' " 

THE TAOTAI CHU 

This was a very characteristic Chinese official, and 
I believe came from Ch6h Kiang, the centre of learning 
and statecraft. His personal appearance was not 
prepossessing; his health was feeble, and his com- 
plexion brick-yellow ; one single many-coloured tooth 
in the upper jaw adorned a black-looking, cavernous 
mouth. He was a man of great moral courage, having, 
just before my arrival, given orders to fire upon a 
Hoihow mob, and thus judicially killed a man (or 
a small boy), whose family, however, he promptly 
compensated. This homicide had made him unpopular ; 
but no one had a word to say against his private 
character. He was strongly " an ti- opium" in opinion, 
and of course did not smoke himself: it is believed 
that he was the real originator of the opium arrange- 
ment with Singapore which came to grief under his 
rascally successor, the object having originally been an 
honest one — namely, to secure to the island at least 
a fair portion of a revenue on vice, seeing that vice 
there must be. 

22 



338 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

Like all good Chinese officials, Chu Ts'ai was no 
lover of missionaries. This may sound paradoxical ; 
but how can any patriotic governing mind approve 
of an uncomprehended foreign influence, over people 
under his rule who are simply following the customs 
and laws of their ancestors guae usque adhuc sunt 
constitutae et approbatae'i 

The whole of my first year in Hainan was spent 
in one long struggle with " Old Chu," with whom I was 
personally, however, on very passable terms. He could 
"foi^ive a lot," because (to use the contemptuous 
mandarin expression) I could " make out a pair of 
written characters" ("y^«-//A(in/"-itf iis"), and rasp his 
tough hide with "turns of language" when he took 
similar liberties with my delicate epidermis. I really 
had a hearty respect for the old man. Why not ? 
He did not squeeze ; he did not smoke ; he kept order ; 
spent his own money on public works ; and encour^ed 
learning. I am not aware that he ever objected to 
the medical mission ; in fact, I believe he subscribed 
liberally to it. 

There was not a British missionary in the- island. 
He loathed " Papacy " ; but, as the King of England 
is obliged to express officially the same sentiments, 
how can we blame " Old Chu " ? (CAa, " vermilion," his 
family name, is pronounced in the same way as Cku, 
" a pig " ; hence the murderous severity of my little 
joke about pigtails, related above.) He also objected 
to the American Presbyterians. Practically I had to 



"INVICTUM ANIMUM CATONIS" 339 

" protect " Portuguese " Papists " and Yankee Dissenters 
during the whole time I was there ; though it was 
none of my business to do so: and he felt it his 
duty to keep them down. I am no exclusive sup- 
porter of either, and subscribe to the doctrines of 
neither; nor does any English "Churchman": why, 
then, should Chu? 

His other black crime was his hostility to the 
foreign pig trade. I disapproved of our wallowing in 
the pig trade, too — it was beneath the quality of decent 
British traders ; but, then, there was the treaty ; and 
a British trader Jiad accepted a pig risk. The situation 
was typical in a small way of what " high diplomacy " 
and " Boxer rebellions " are in lofty circles. We both 
thought, believed, liked, and disliked the same things ; 
but "destiny" compelled us to squabble over pigs. 
Papists, and pastors : in other words, we made much 
ado about nothing, because we were paid to do so. 

Chu Ts'ai was particularly obstinate on the " consular 
site " question : unofficially, he made no secret of his 
rash vow that " the consul will get no site whilst I am 
here " ; and as he was then negotiating with the Viceroy 
Li Han-chang for a family marriage, which, for official 
reasons, could not take place until his retirement, he 
had a good moral support Notwithstanding his brave 
fight, poor old Chu was vaificu sur toute la lignei he 
had to pay for the pigs at last, with heavy interest: 
before he had hastily cast his parting card in at the 
Consulate gate, his successor had to apologise in 



340 1>0LICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

person for rudeness to the missionaries ; and the site 
was actually being measured out as he sailed away. 

The most curious correspondence I had with Chu 
Ts'ai was that touching the old Jesuit graves, in which 
the status of the Popes, divae memoriae^ had to be laid 
down. It speaks much for the natural correct feeling 
of the Chinese that, after two hundred years ol 
" persecution," all the foreign graves were uninjured, 
in a perfectly open, unprotected, cultivated field ; and 
all the Latin inscriptions were still legible : the graves 
were enclosed in a railing in the presence of myseli 
and the hien^ at " Old Chu's " personal order. I wish all 
the "Christian" officers whose interest I have served 
had been as high-minded towards me as the " pagan *' 
Chu Ts'ai, with whom I fought so hard. 

A TRUCULENT OFFICIAL 

The taotai Chu of Hainan enjoyed a revenge for al 
the passages which had occurred between us b> 
administering a "Parthian snub" to me at the las1 
moment: he passed my house door and went or 
board his boat without calling, simply sending hij 
card by a kavass (as Prince Ferdinand of Bulgaria onc< 
did to Baron de Calice, — who, by the way, may hav< 
learnt " ideas " in such matters when at Tientsin or 
November 7, 1871). But I underwent no irritatioi 
at this slight ; indeed, very likely the old fellow, lik< 
myself, felt that in such a heat official visits were i 



X^f'Pft^p pofio^ 341 

nuisance, and he really meant no harm : Hainan is 
the only part of China which can be called tropical, 
and in July the heat is truly fearful. But this pre- 
cedent of avoiding duty calls was a bad example 
for his successor Chou, who, being only an acting 
man and a confirmed opium-smoker, soon gave signs 
both that he was "on the squeeze," and that he was 
going to show his teeth: in fact, the incident about 
to be described occurred before Chu actually left, 
though he had already ceased holding the seals ; and 
I cannot say which of the two taotais conceived 
the general plan of attack. Readers must not be 
surprised : the Chinese officials delight in this sort of 
thing ; the mistake of foreigners often lies in their 
making too much ado; it is much easier (and greater 
sport, too) to circumvent the Celestials, and to pay 
them back in their own coin. 

Mr. Chou " opened the ball " by burglariously and in 
person entering the American missionaries' residence : 
this was at the island capital, a city four miles from 
Hoihow where I lived. When news came to me of this 
unprecedented act, I at once saw I had to deal with a 
fool as well as a knave ; and although the head of the 
mission was a Dane, and thus qfficieusement British, 
(curiously enough, a despatch received shortly after 
this from the Danish Minister of Foreign Affairs 
requested me officially to hand over Danish interests 
to the nearest Russian official), while the house entered 
was American, I experienced no difficulty in finding 



342 POLICE AND THEIR MASTERS 

a weak spot in the Chinese armour. The facts were 
as follow : The Protestant missionaries all lived together 
in a good-sized temple, large enough to accommodate 
four families, and slightly modified and enlai^ed to 
meet foreign requirements. Strictly speaking, the 
taotat had perhaps a right to worship officially at 
that temple, and in any case it is unwise for mis- 
sionaries to object to ** inspection," even in their more 
private houses, when there are rumours about babies' 
eyes being wanted for photography, and other such 
silly yarns flying about But in this case Mr. Chou 
was clearly shown to have acted unreasonably and 
arrogantly, for both his and their correspondence and 
visiting cards were in my hands to prove it 

It would have been perfectly easy to obtain his instant 
dismissal, especially if facts had been strained to their 
utmost capacity. For instance, it might have been 
truly said : " Notwithstanding Mr. X.'s repeated 
written offers to wait upon you in person and inform 
you as to the progress of the medical and other 
missions, you decline either to receive him or to send 
written reply ; you present yourself unannounced before 
the door of a lady who is about to be confined ; you 
burst it open ; flood the precincts with your brutal 
runners, who steal this, frighten that, etc., etc." That 
is how to make "war," if we want war. 

However, here it was that Captain (or now Colonel) 
Ch'en's diplomatic opportunity occurred : he was 
deputed by the taotat to mollify me. He frankly 



"UNHONOURED AND UNSUNG" 343 

admitted that his superior had made a goose of himself, 
but he pleaded that it was a fearful " come down " to 
make him apologise. But he had to apologise ; this 
was on the third day after the "burglary." 

The wretched taotai had meanwhile made things worse 
by writing to me: "When you pay me your first 
visit, I will explain, etc., etc."; to which I promptly 
replied : " I don't intend to pay you a first visit ; it 
is your duty to make the introductory call upon me; 
and quickly, too." In the case of some officials it 
would really be a diplomatic triumph to have succeeded 
in cornering them in this fashion ; but Chou Ping-hiin 
(that was his name) was such a stupid loon that I 
almost felt ashamed of having to " sit " on him so 
hard. 

After nearly a fortnight of haggling, he and Captain 
Ch'en at last came to pay the taotaVs first visit 
together, and "enjoyed themselves" very much. No- 
thing whatever but cakes and ale was talked about. 
The taotai was such an ignorant noodle that he 
imagined Ch'dn, who only talked a little " pidjin " of 
the vilest kind, was a great European scholar as well 
as a great Chinese soldier. I was by no means sorry 
to give the gallant captain a hand up in life. Six 
months later the taotai "^^s summarily dismissed : he had 
again tried his hand ; this time in connection with the 
opium squeeze ; but he was easily pitici^ for I had 
documentary evidence under his own seal. 



Ik rji~t«.»- »- * ' ■— _ 



CHAPTER XVI 



PERSONAL 




CHANG-feRH 

THIS word means "Chang No. 2"; but, as a 
matter of fact, he was Chang Ta, or ** Chang 
the Great " : the name Chang-6rh strictly belonged to, 
and was used by, his next brother, who under that 
name served Captain Gill along with Wang-firh, as 
is recorded in the chronicles of the books on China 
{River of Golden Sand), By a subtle process of 
reasoning, purely Chinese, my Chang-6rh explained to 
me that he thus played second fiddle out of modesty ; 
but even that leaves unexplained what each of the 
pair would be called if they were together. Possibly 
some tabu was involved. It was curious that two 
brothers, who after boyhood almost never saw each 
other, should both gravitate towards and travel with 
the one Wang-ferL 

My servant began his foreign career during the war 
of i860, when he was impounded and made to assist in 
tugging British guns up to Peking. From that date the 
family seems to have left Tientsin, — his native place; 

344 



"EST MODUS IN REBUS" 345 

but he always retained his pure Tientsin accent ; and, 
though in his mature years he was addressable in six 
dialects, and also in English, to the last he never uttered 
a word of any one of them in my hearing. 

I discovered him as a water-coolie in 1869, to which 
respectable post he had been promoted from the lower 
grades of scavenger and horse-boy successively. I was 
struck by his frank, joyous, and devil-may-care appear- 
ance, and, along with his original master, I employed 
him that winter as servant-of-all-work during a horse- 
back trip to the Mongol steppes. His master falling 
ill in 1872, Chang-firh came to me for good ; but when 
I went home he obtained service in Pakhoi. Here 
again his employer's health collapsed, and he turned up 
in a starving condition at Pagoda Anchorage in 1877. 
On this occasion the change of temperature (autumn) 
was so severe that he was presented with a thick woollen 
singlet of my own to ward off pneumonia. This delicate 
attention seems to have appealed to his feelings so 
strongly that I never heard the last of that singlet 
From that time till 1894 he continued in my service, 
holding himself as " retained " whenever I went home 
on leave. 

Chang-Srh was an excellent instance of typical Chinese 
"strong character" in its pristine, unpolished form. 
He could never be induced under any circumstances 
whatever to touch spirituous liquors ; not even when 
seriously ill, and when advised by foreign doctors to 
do so. Nor would he so much as taste tobacco in 



346 PERSONAL 

any form ; not to say opium. He was never able to 
give any explanation of this, except that he was tsai-li 
(= in the interior), or belonged to what is sometimes 
erroneously called the " Vegetarian Society." I never 
saw him raise his fist to any man, and in times of 
danger he declined to arm himself; but he never 
showed the least fear, or any desire to evade risks. 
After the episode of the warm singlet he decided to 
check the wicked inroads of mankind ui>on my 
purse by acting as cook as well as boy ; and, like 
Poo-Bah, he did this by keeping rapid-change suits 
of clothes for the several occasions. He was open- 
handed in money matters (my money) ; but he 
never possessed or wanted to possess any savings, or 
any property whatever, except that in current use. 
At one time he used to neglect his mother and wife; 
but that was as much from his own heedlessness and 
his master's indifference as from any heartlessness. 
For twenty years he did double duty, and received 
only half his single pay : whenever he had a slice of luck 
he sent most of his gains to his mother, and would 
have been still more generous to her had not his. 
brothers and other relatives traded upon his simplicity. 
His great fault (of which I never took a harsh view, as 
it was consonant to all human nature) was a weakness 
for "petticoats" — or the garments which serve their 
purpose in the Far East. He was alike popular with 
Coreans, Japanese, Burmese, and Tamils, as also with 
every kind of Chinese. In a word, he was a most 



TLepinXoo^ 347 

curious instance of an ignorant man, without any 
conscience or principle, acting throughout his life in 
a just and philosophical spirit. He died of heart 
failure (I am told) ; but it certainly did not fail on my 
account. 

A DANGEROUS OUTING 

About a day's journey by land to the south of 
Taku there is a place called K'i-k'ou, where a small 
river runs into the gulf. Probably this place is now 
in the hands of the allied troops, as there are some 
forts and a camp there. Thirty years ago the forts 
were of not much account, nor were they armed with 
modern artillery, even to the extent of muzzle-loading 
Armstrongs. They were situated on the right bank, 
and were only approached by tortuous paths. Such 
as they were, I visited them and reported upon them, 
and also on the forts of Taku and Peit'ang. 

Together with one of the local pilots and the chief 
custom-house officer, I went for a sail to K'i-k'ou ; but 
even the pilot-boat could not get within five miles of 
the river-mouth, so that we had to take the punt into 
the creek. This punt was just big enough for three. 
But we were late on the tide, and it was as much 
as we could do to inspect the forts, get to the punt, 
and push oif before darkness came on and the tide 
turned out again. So long as it was slack water 
things went slowly but pretty well ; still, we all had 
to take relief turns at the sculls, and I nearly rowed 




348 PERSONAL 

the skin off my hands. At last it grew quite dark, 
and we lost the direction of the pilot-boat. The tide 
was running out rapidly. Only a couple of Chinamen 
were left on board the cutter, and there was no light 
If we had missed her, we should inevitably have been 
swept out to sea; and besides, the water was getting 
very rough for our small punt We had no lights 
ourselves, and our shouts were quite inaudible, even 
a few yards off, owing to the noise of the wind and 
the waves. Fortunately French, the pilot, had brought 
his fowling-piece with him on the chance of getting a 
stray duck ; and there was one cartridge left He fired 
it off in the hope that the Chinese skipper would 
hear it and have the sense to show a light, which, to 
our great relief, he soon did: we clambered safely 
on board after another hour of pulling, all dead beat 
That night a strong gale freshened up, and I was 
lost in admiration of the calm coolness of the skipper 
and his mate. The sail was a Chinese one fashioned 
out of matting, or, at all events, of a native cut, and 
the whole management of the boat lay in the two 
natives' hands. 

On another occasion I hired a large junk to cross 
the Samsah inlet in Fuh Kien province : this was on 
the occasion of a very fresh night. The sea ran high, 
and the navigation was as intricate as the night was 
dark ; but the Chinese skipper and his two mates 
manoeuvred the junk in a most masterly manner, and 
at last ran us up a long tidal creek to a point at the 



V 



"NON EQUIDEM INVIDEO: MIROR MAGIS" 349 

head of the post-road, just on the top of the daily 
tide. The charge for a hundred-ton junk for sixty 
miles was half a crown (in English money). At Hoihow 
the boatmen manage to sail their clumsy craft in 
tremendous seas such as no foreign gig will tackle. 

On the rapids of the Yangtsze and many other 
rivers I have often felt that my life lay absolutely 
in the discretion of the Chinese skipper or pilot. In 
steamer navigation a Chinaman cannot be so well 
trusted, probably because unfamiliar with the essential 
principles of novel methods ; but as rule-of-thUmb 
navigators along coasts, or up creeks and rivers, the 
Chinaman is not easily excelled ; and accordingly I 
feel a sentiment of gratitude towards him for favours 
received. 

THE BARBER'S "PIDJIN" 

Nothing is more demoralising to the beginner in 
Chinese than the inveterate practice of talking " pidjin " 
English (/>. bijinisy or "business" English). Apart 
from the fact that a fresh dialect confronts the foreigner 
in nearly every port, and that it is the exception for 
foreign officials to learn anything but Pekingese, it is 
not considered " good form " to make an exhibition 
of one's dialect-learning when addressing servants 
at table ; and thus nearly every one drops into the 
slovenly habit. The barber at Canton was one of the 
glibbest conversationalists in this absurd jargon I ever 
met, and he once gave me a certificate of character 



350 PERSONAL 

which I highly appreciated. I may mention that 

"pidjin" is practically Chinese colloquial composition, 

with English words substituted. The following was 

the burden of our remarks : 
" Mornin*, barber-man." 

" Momin*, Missi Consun ; wanchee my cuttee heh ? " 
** Yes ; no wanchee cuttee too muchee ; can cuttee 

littee." 
"Oil ligh! My savee. My cuttee any man heh: 

plenty man catchee my shabe he, ebbily momin*. 

Beforetime Hongkong gubbunor olio time my shabe 

he." 
" What ting have got to-day, barber-man ? " 
" New piecy wice-loy hab go ngamun {yamiti) to-day." 
" That Chinaman talkee he belong good man ? " 
" No man savey : moos wait littee time, can see. 

Some man talkee he moos wanchee stop lat gambaloo.** 
"Have got too muchee gamble-housee that creek 

side I " 
" Yih ! Beforetime Sir Blook Lobisson no pay he 

stop lat side." 
" What for that viceroy he soldier-man no look out ? " 
" He no likee. S*pose Missi Hance no bobbery 

[bother] he, he no likee too hat [hard]. Missi Hance 

no savee China talkee : moos wanchee new piecy largee 

Consun talkee he." 

" Mr. Hance knew all about it : he told the flower- 
boats to clear out long ago, and the wai-yun [the 

viceroy's deputy] have got order." 



"DAMN WITH FAINT PRAISE" 351 

" Missi Hance numba one good man : he lat hat 
[that heart] too muchee soft. My tinky Missi Consun 
too muchy soft hat, too." 

"Any man talkee my so fashion? What ting that 
Chinaman talkee my ? " 

" Lat Chinaman talkee consun-side too muchy 
bijinis ; Missi Consun any ting can makee. Maskee 
[= never mind] what ting, olio belong ploppa [proper]." 

" Chinaman talky my so fashion ? " 

" Yih ! Any man talky ; suppose no got Missi 
Consun, no can ! " 

" What for no can ? What thing my got number one ? " 

" Olio man talkee, follin man come Canton side, 
beforetime Missi Mayers numba one : Missi Mayers 
hab go way ; olio Chinaman talky Missi Consun numba 
one onsz-tan [understand]." 



AND HE WENT FOR THAT HEATHEN CHINEE 

In Sz ChVan it was my practice to walk from twenty 
to thirty, and even forty miles a day, winter and 
summer. It was an agreeable discovery to find that 
in the excessively hot weather the coolest travelling- 
place was in the sun, under an umbrella covered with 
an extra coat of white cotton cloth. The confinement 
of a sedan-chair was intolerable, except during the 
smoking half-hour after each meal ; and besides, it was 
delightful to be in a position to talk freely to wayfarers 
about the common objects of the road. 



352 PERSONAL 

In this way I used to accompany soldiers, hawkers, 
police, tramps — in fact, any one who would grant an 
audience to the barbarian. Moreover, every Chinese 
house has an inscription ; every Chinese street a pro- 
clamation, or a score of advertisements, notices, and 
warnings ; so that the events of a single day's walk 
necessitated at least two hours of writing up every 
evening. Some distance behind me was my four- 
bearer official chair, and a relief crew of four more 
straggling carriers ; then the three-bearer chair of the 
cook, and the two-bearer chair of Wang-firh, each with 
an extra " shoulder " : two men carried my trunk, and 
the fu-t'ou, or " man-head," brought up the rear. Yet 
sometimes it was very exhausting in the pitiless sun, 
and the five minutes' rest in the shade at intervals were 
very delicious. 

One afternoon I looked wistfully back at my chair 
(which had a way of tempting me as little as possible 
by lagging far in the rear) ; but, as the bearers were 
more exhausted than myself, I thought I would push 
on to a " virtuous widow's arch " I spied half a mile 
ahead. These gates or portals are as common in China 
as pagodas Eire in Burma : in Sz Ch'wan they are 
almost invariably constructed of durable granites, and 
they leave a shadow about sufficient for one man. 
Usually there is a smooth stone seat at the foot of one 
or both the shafts, originally intended apparently as 
an aid to travellers mounting horses after a rest 

As I approached this particular arch, 1 observed 



" THE ' LARK ' AT HEAVEN^S ' GATE ' " 353 

a coolie with his load resting there, and monopolising 
the whole available shade. The disappointment was 
very keen, but of course it was out of the question 
to eject him. Necessity is indeed the mother of 
invention, for, just as I struggled panting up, an unkind 
idea struck me. Looking hard into the grass, I asked : 
" Is this packet yours ? " 

He said : " What packet ? " 

I replied : ** This paper packet of silver." 

The coolie shot up like an arrow and flew to the spot. 
By the time he had turned round to seek an explana- 
tion, I was sitting on the vacant stone. 

After staring nonplussed for a moment, he burst 
into a guffaw of laughter such as few Chinaman ever 
indulge in, and, as he walked down the road with his 
baskets of opium, for sale at the nearest market, I heard 
him rapidly talking to my exhausted caravan men. 
There were roars of delight from that quarter too, and 
somehow the story seemed to catch fire all over the 
valley, for people pricked up their ears in every 
direction to hear the good news, which even got ahead 
of us to the inn, through the agency of some " express " 
carriers of silver. This pious fraud (justified, I hope, 
by stress of circumstances in my book of doom) earned 
me quite a little reputation with the carriers, whose 
friendliness — always phenomenal — seemed from that 
day to take even an affectionate turn ; for " one touch 
of nature makes the whole world kin." 



23 



354 PERSONAL 

CHANG-feRH'S VILLAINY 

Often and often I had sat at my solitary dinner 
listening to Chang-firh's voluble sermons, the delivery 
of which I used to encourage for dialect purposes, so 
long as I was not expected to reply. He used to 
stand behind me, ready to bolt the instant I growled : 
" Get away ! I am tired of listening." 

This was his usual style : ** Man is born into the 
world with empty hands : he can't take anything with 
him to the grave. Hence I never squeeze ; and after 
nearly twenty years' experience of me you know it. 
Nor do I smoke or drink. My weaknesses are those 
of nature. Moreover, my parents married me to a 
lunatic. 'An old woman's ears are slung on to no 
purpose.* Money is useless to the man of conscience. 
Now, there's the old tUng-cU^ai^ who squeezes and 
smokes ." At this kind of juncture he was some- 
times told he might accuse the Ving-ch^ai to his face 
if he liked, or he was simply requested to ** get out" 
Still, the effect of this incessant reiteration had really 
half-convinced me that Chang-firh was, any way, not 
a common scoundrel, but only a trifle weak in his 
"rules of evidence." 

One day, during the building of a consulate at 
Chemulpho, I was obliged to start promptly for Soul. 
I had to leave some orders with the Japanese builder ; 
and so I sent for his friend the washerwoman to act 
as interpreter. I wound up by saying to her: "And 



"JOVE LAUGHS AT LOVERS' PERJURY" 355 

you yourself, you had better give that Chinese " boy " 
of mine a wide berth, for he is the very devil with 
women, if he gets a chance." 

" Oh ! you know that ? " said she, surprised. 

"Know it? of course I do, after over fifteen years 
of him : he is the biggest humbug going." 

" Well, to tell you the truth, I wanted to complain 
of him the last time you went, but I was afraid of 
getting into trouble myself" 

« How was it ? " 

''Well, the last time you went, he made advances 
by signs both to me and to the carpenter's wife on 
several occasions, and I had to get the carpenter to 
remonstrate. The carpenter threatened to tell you ; 
but the cook-^a» [= Mr. Chef] said, (so far as we could 
understand his few words of English,) that he had 
been with you nearly twenty years, and that you 
believed everything he said. He said that if I com- 
plained to you, only one single word from him would 
be necessary, and he would get the washing for these 
two houses given to some one else ; and probably the 
building contract, too, would be given away to a 
Chinaman." 

"All right. You need not say any more to either 
the cook or the carpenter ; and I will manage so that 
there will be no ill-feeling." 

Nothing was said until some time afterwards, when 
the Corean coolies, chairs, etc, were all at the door 
waiting to start Just as I got into the chair, before 



356 PERSONAL 

all the servants and several European onlookers, I 
said : " Look well after the house, boy ! And, by 
the way, you are forbidden to speak to either the 
Japanese washerwoman or to the carpenter's wife" 
Chang-^rb's face was a study in emotional expression 
worthy of Darwin's scrutiny ; as for the bystanders, 
there was what the French call a sensation, and a 
decided mouvement. 

Three or four days later I returned, and on the 
first opportunity Chang-Srh began as usual from 
behind my chair : " Man is born, etc., etc I have 
served you, etc, etc. That Japanese woman falsely 

states " " Get out ; and never speak to me about 

it again ! I never told you the Japanese woman had 
stated anything. If you had not been with me for 
over fifteen years I should have dismissed you. I 
don't care what you do outside ; but in my house 
I expect you to be loyal to your trust." 

Chang-firh never quite recovered from the crushing 
effects of this blow ; and perhaps it was on account 
of the episode described that he ultimately married a 
second time, on his lunatic wife's death. 

THAT STRAIGHT HEART 
Chang-£rii spoke the Tientsin variety of Pekingese, 
which differs but slightly from its congener (or proto- 
type, as the case may be). I was always glad to get 
an opportunity of listening to him without having to 
undergo the boredom of his conversation, which was 



."ASSURANCE DOUBLE SURE" 357 

of the Sam Weller type, interlarded with the sentiments 
of Stiggins. Hence I was very pleased, as I lay in 
bed one day at the chief Shanghai hotel, to hear an 
animated conversation going on between him and a 
Ningpo " boy," each yelling out his words and repeating 
them in his own patois^ so as to give the other a better 
chance to understand. The burden of the conversation 
was "masters" in general, and I learnt with satisfac- 
tion of myself specifically that though my temper was 
bad {pHH:Hi pU'hao)^ my heart was straight {stn-li tao- 
ching). Sundry anecdotes followed as to how I had 
falsely accused Chang-^rh of moving the soap, the 
wine, the ink, or some other article ; and how, after all, 
it was confessed by me that I had myself transferred 
it by mistake into the shaving-box, the cupboard, the 
office, etc., etc. 

Some months after this I was gazing through the 
sun-blinds, whilst dressing, at Jack the boatman and 
his sons, engaged in clipping the grass of the consular 
garden at Pagoda Anchorage, when instinctively I 
felt about for the key of the safe, thinking how easy 
it would be for some one to slip under the sun-blinds, 
make off with it whilst I was bathing, and then rob 
the safe. I used to keep the key for absolute security 
in my cholera-belt; but, apparently, 1 had not taken 
the belt with me as usual to the bath-room to-day, for 
there it was, on the settee. Horrors upon horror's 
head ! The key was not in it I at once summoned 
Chang-6rh with a roar of irrepressible indignation. 



■'■""^rilSt''-'^ .""■"■* :'3ul? - ' ^tm — ■:• •■ ■- • 




358 PERSONAL 

" Now, I want no nonsense on this occasion : I mean 
business. You alone are responsible for the safety of 
my house. Tm not going to have others falsely 
accused. I went to the bath five minutes ago, and 
myself felt the keys in the belt as usual There 
lies the belt, empty! I give you two minutes to 
find them." 

The confusion was fearful : the whole house was at 
once in a state of alarm. The writer, gatekeeper, coolies, 
boatmen, — everybody was at once summoned ; fearful 
altercations took place ; and despair was written upon 
each man's countenance. More in sorrow than in 
anger, Chang-6rh at last, in desperation, fixed upon 
one of the boatmen with whom he had once had 
words, and who was only Jack's adopted son or nephew, 
besides being a bit of a gay Lothario, and a rival. 
There was no evidence whatever ; but Jack was sent for, 
and it was put to him as an honest man appealingly : 
** The master had the keys in his belt ; he goes to 
his bath ; you five only are in sight ; he returns in 
two minutes ; the keys are not in his belt. How do 
you explain it?" 

Poor Jack scratched his pate thoughtfully, and gave 
it up. The event, however, was one of such gigantic 
magnitude that something clearly must be done. 
Meanwhile, I went on dressing, and they all retired 
to accuse each other of neglect, if not worse. Sadly 
I put the tell-tale belt over my head and shoulders; 
but| to my surprise, I found it would not meet for 



"IN 'BELLO' NON LICET BIS ERRARE" 359 

tying purposes round my stomach. This, I then dis- 
covered, was a clean belt just come from the wash, 
and I had already put on the other, keys and all, 
beneath instead of outside my gauze singlet Here 
was a pretty pickle ! Here was a nice public display 
o{ p't-ch^il There was only one way out of it 

"Boy!" I roared. 

''Dja'' (="Yes, sir"), replied Chang-firh from a 
considerable distance. 

"I have found the keys." 

" Where were they?" enquired the merciless Chang-6rh. 

" In the belt" 

"And where was the belt?" 

" On my tu-tsz** (= stomach). 

On hearing this, Chang-6rh's feelings were too much 
for him. Like Peter of old, he went out and cried 
bitterly. But they were respectful and altruistic tears, 
like those Mr. Stead sheds for Lord Milner. But 
my mind was not " lost " ; it was only absent. 

After he had blubbered a while, — once more : " Boy I " 

"You can tell the others." 

What he told them I don't know, but I hope the 
sin-li was still described as c/ting. Possibly this event, 
too, had a share in deciding Chang-^rh to get him a 
second wife as a solace for his wrongs. 



GLOSSARY 

{Being supplementary to that already published in " China ") 



A, This prefix to "Christian" 
names is universal in Canton, but 
not so general elsewhere. It is 
like our^ in "Johnny," " Katey," 
etc., and is never used in serious 
literary composition, except in 
order to indicate criminals by their 
known names. 

Akhiind. The Chinese form a-hung 
is pretty well understood in edu- 
cated circles. 

Amah, This word is not Chinese, 
though in use all over China in 
the sense of foreigners' Oriental 
nurses. Still, the Chinese have 
a word ina, which is in common 
use for "old woman," or 
**du€Aa**; and a-ma would be 
good Chinese for "nursey." A 
fortiori the word ayah is not 
Chinese ; but it will be noticed 
in one of my stories that the 
Annamese say b<^a for " old 



crone. 



}) 



" Bags,*^ The Chinese trousers are 
an absolute "sauare," without 
any shaping or nt ; almost as if 
you took a sack, slit it up two- 
thirds of the way through the 
middle, thrust the bottom out to 
admit the passage of the feet, and 
then "got in." I once really 
had to wear sacks instead of 
clothes, so I can state this with 
confidence. 

Black Flags. There were for many 
vears the Yellow and Black Flag 
bandit rivals on the Annamo- 
Chinese frontier. 



Bo. Mhtg'ku boj " Mongol tents," 
is quite understood in colloquial 
Pekingese. In Manchu (Chinese) 
history tui-bo is frequently used 
for the Emperor's nunting- or 
picket-tents; hence shwei-po, or 
"water-pickets" on the river. 
A large number of Mongol and 
Manchu words are thus adopted 
into Pekingese ; but po may very 
well be a Chinese word : it is not 
understood in the south. 

''Brother,'' Ko (elder) and H 
(younger) both mean "brother." 

Buddhdchinga. A Hindoo Buddhist 
who came to China vid Turkestan 
in A.D. 328. 

Cat-head. A mao-rh-fou of rice is 
just like a cat's head. A small 
bowl is filled from the steamer 
with a wooden ladle, and then 
a similar small bowl full of rice 
is clapped hard on to the first : 
thus there can be no fraudulent 
" hollows " at the bottom of each 
"whack" of rice. 

CfCang-an Sz, " Long-peace Mon- 
astery." 

Chinaman, This word was one of 
Sir Thomas Wade's pet aversions, 
and the Rev. Arthur Smith also 
condemns it. It is enough for 
me that it has been adopted into 
common English. Besides, the 
word "East Indiaman" is 
classical, and "Manilaman" is 
our only possible word. In the 
same way, "China New Year" 



361 



362 



with " Russia IcBtlier." After all, 
the vigorous expression of 
thoughts is the main objec 



hU . 



' he 1 



Dr. Johnson admiltcd his rnutciy 
of the subject, but added : " He 
wants Eiprcsiion : he bas ball 
without powder." 

CA»ng-it. Pekingese cktoaiig-thi, 
"l^ea-master" ; alio called c^eng- 
kwln, or "plea scoundrels," of 
whom 1, as a member of the 
" utter-fcor," must accordingly be 
held one, though only "■ very 
liltle one." 

" Cempeuttd." Enclosure. I have 
Mmewhere seen that this is a 
corruption of a Javaneie or Malay 
word iamfoHg, 01 " village 
enclosure. " 

Cuspider. Portuguese, "spittoon." 

Daceits. The word commonly used 
in Burma for"baQdils," "rebels," 
and (wlien we are angry with 
them) " patriots." Hindoo, o^Ar. 

Dkeb'i. Hindustani for " washer- 

Dja. This bofrowed Maochu word 
(/>} is Baoclioiied by Sir Thomas 
Wade in the form tha, but il is 
only used in Peking, or by 
Manchus. My "boy" habitually 
made use of it ; but I never heard 
any other Chinese, at any other 
time or place, once ulter the 

FtKfur. I believe this is an attempt 
to represent some Arabic word 
corresponding to " Son of 
Heaven"; Chinese, TUn-ln; 
Japanese, Ttn-ski; Hiung-nu, 
Shen'jiU ; Tungusic, Vututn ; 






■e Khan, e 



Turn [over the cnp 
concealing the coins and} part 
[with the chopstick lo see who 
hu gueued the correct fraction]." 



FaiihoH. Cantonese for Fo-shan, 
" Buddha's Hill" ; properly FK- 
ihan or /u/shan, Budh being 
(he sound originally intended. 

FtiKea. "Flying Tiger." 

Hakkas. CantoneM pronundatioil 
of the Pekingese JTt-cMa, or 
" guest-fimilies " {tTtk-iia). 

Bafpo. The best derivation is 
Ha-peh S9, or " River-anchorage 
Office " ; but I am not aware that 
the correct origin of the word has 
ever been proved. Moreover, I 
have never been to a port where 
the words Hopek S», or HoMt 
So, are collixmially used. In 
Canton the Hoppo is always 
currently called the ffeitmdH by 
natives—*,*', the "sea-barrier." 

tfoKi-Hng. Hwei-Lin, Hwei-shEne, 
and many other enthusiaMic 
Chinese Boddhists of the fouith, 
fifth, and sixth centuries. 

fats. No doubl a corruption of 
the Spanish Duj, and probably 
point«i out before by others. 

Kanaka. I do not know what this 
word means, but it seems to refer 
lo "Pacific Islanders" of any 
kind. 

K'ang. A word only used exten- 
sively in the northern provinces ; 
but the official unhealed k'ang, 
or reception divan of the yamhts, 
is everywhere known. 

Kavasi. A Turkish word for 
"orderly," or l'iiig-<k'ai. 

Kling. I resign this word (o my 
Indian collaborators ; but I may 
notice that Ho-ling, or Kka-ling, 
is as old as the word "pagoda" 
[t'af), and seems lo have been 
applied by the Chinese to the 
Hindoo colonists in lava— >*.«. 
lo persons coming from the 
Madras coast, where Tamil Is 
chiefly spoken. The French and 
Dutch often use the word 



Ksiktr. Ai moit people know, 
this ii Che word used in aU 
Iiraelilisb bulchen* shops, etc., 
tigni^n^ compliaoce there with 
Jewish ideas of purity {vide 
Mr. ZMigwiU). 

K^aw, Pekingese Ka-teu, dt 
"knock head ; the more genera] 
fbnn it i'tu-fm (Cantonese 

Xi^tk JTwK. " Old North Pms." 

JfTtKt-tn. A word only understood 
on the Upper VangUae : its 
derivitive meaning is not clear. 

Lmng-ku Siam. "Dragon Tttet 
HiU." 

MaatKhi^ij. Dutch foi "mate- 
shaA," "mate-ship," or "com- 
pany." 

Mtt-mwL Foochow pronunrialion 
of the Pekingese nut-toti, or ww-i, 
" Hocse's Tail," the name of Ihe 

" iftrndarin." Another word hated 
by Sir Thomas. Knan is, truly 
enoi^h, an official or "man- 
darin," bat the word also means 
"government," or "public." 
jSttOH-katt really meaoi "com- 
mon tongue," as distinct from 
t'M-htia or t'ti-yin, "dialects." 
It ia akin to the distinction 
between Sanskrit and Prakrit, 
except that all hwa, or " speech," 
it necesaarilj "vulgar." With 
the exception of local ballad* 
and tales— and these in a few 
places only ; — and with the further 
exception of novels in spoken 
Kwan-kwa, all written language 
ii terse in style, and is identiod 
for alt dialects : it may be rouehly 
defined as " roots, minus volgai 
terminations and particles." 
There is no such a thing as "act" 
speech in China- 

ifom. The ChineK character 
warn, " a pellet, or bead," is used 
to write this, but no one has ever 
Mtfahctarily expfauDed iriiy oil 



lARY 363 

Japanese trading craft are called 
mam. All their war-ships are 
styled kan, but that b tbe Chinese 
word kioH or kitn (pronounced 
Um in Canton). 

Mentha (Burmese). The second pl- 
iable pronounced as in Enghsh 
(thann\ equivalent to the Chinese 
viaitg-ta, or " prince scion." 

M-kei. Purely Cantonese, " not 
ought"; the Pekingese lay ftt- 
kan, ot iKi-koH, " not dare, or 
" how dare ? " 

Mora. Also called liai-t'iiam, or 
"guess fists." 

Ifamti. The Tsj(% brothers were 
Kwoh-fanandKwoh-ls'Uan, which 
would teem to infer a kweh 
catqpiry; but I suppose there 
was also used a subcategory, 
tiiian, for tome family purpose. 

NUn-fii. " Twisted [turban] 
rebels." The Taipings proper 
were popularly called "Ltmg- 



Sipd Ifffiigered, 



' Lower New- 



Pamda. This word is not Chinese ; 
tney always say ia (Cantonese, 
fat), originally tap-fo, a dis- 
syllable introduced about fifteen 
hundred years ago in imitation 
of the Hindoo word lh(^ 
"Pagoda Island" is called in 
the Foochow dialect leasing 
T'ai, or " Lo-sing Pagoda." 

Panthajn. I have no idea when 
and how this word came into 
existence. 1 find in my Burmese 
notes the word pothl (like En- 
glish paib-ee), " a Mussulman," 
and pamdki (like English pan- 
thee), " a Chinese Mussulman." 
It is therefore probably an Anglo- 
Burman word. 

PelcfiS. Undoubtedly a vulgar 
corruption of the Chinese /wi(r). 
tiiang, which, according to rule, 
would be fydlihang in Corean [ 
indeed) the Coareau dictionaiies 



3^4 



GLOSSARY 



write these Chinese characters, 
and ignore the vul^r spelling of 
the office in question. 

•« Pidjin:' " Business " or " pidj- 
ness" English. 

* * PigtaiV* In Chinese, pien ox pun- 
tstf '* a plait " ; mentioned as 
worn by the Tartars two thousand 
years ago. 

Ranis. The History of Canton says : 
"Anciently five genii rode as 
mzxiy yang [sheep or goats] into 
Canton ; hence the name * Five 
Ram City.' " As sheep will not 
live in South China, and butchers' 
mutton is brought thither from 
Calcutta or Shs^hai, it is plain 
that '*rams" must be euphonic 
for "billy-goats." Most cities 
have an analogous mythical name : 
thus Foochow is the "City of 
Banyans." 

Readoption. It is comparatively 
rare for a man to be given in 
adoption to any but an unde or 
other senior a^ate — One son may 
marry two wives for two fathers 
— ue, he represents his £Either and 
an uncle as joint son. If a man 
adopted into a strange "sur- 
name" is badly want^ by his 
original £Eimily, he may " go back 
to the ilk" — always assuming 
that his adoptive £unily can spare 
him. 

Sai-t/iu, Cantonese for si-ch'tao, 
"Western Scrub." 

Sampan. "Three boards," or 
"pine boards" (form differs). 

Sh^k'Wan, Cantonese for Shih- 
wan, "Stone Bay." 

Shi. This character, in common 
colloquial use in the sense of 
" master," " teacher," also means 
"army," "war," "model," 
" imitate," etc., in literature ; 
and also, more rarely, "lion," 
SiHha', and, hence, "Ceylon." 

Shi-king, " Poetry classic." 



Shi-ye, "Instructor-sire," lust as 
" prince " is wastg-ye, or "duke " 
kung-ye. 

Shih'hiah. " Stone Box." 

Siccautei. Zi-ka Wei, the [Panl Zi 
or] "SU famU/s" place, (ffW). 

Sore eyes. The old Hakka woman 
once recommended me male 
babies' urine for sore eyes. There 
is a large export of this article, 
in crystals, from Foochow: it 
passes through Sir R. Hart's 
Customs. 

Tabu. The Chinese say hwei (» 
avoid), and have a very com- 
plicated science on the subject^ 
popular and literary. 

Tai-won-kun, Corean form of 
Ta-yiian KUn, "Great Court 
Prince," almost the Monsieur of 
French Bourbon dajrs. 

Taoism. The same word as in the 
" road " of a taotai, 

TaO'Uu. " Slip-over pants " ; the 
word Uu implies "breech," or 
"saddle-ride.*^ 

Tooted, Taiy or " dais," is a word 
appended to most titles of address : 
thus, ti'tai, ' * my brother ! " Taa 
is alike his official designation 
and the name of the theoretical 
sub-province over which he rules. 
The Cantonese pronunciation is 
tou-foi ; hence the " old school " 
of foreigners often call him the 
"totoy." 

Tiffin. This Anglo - Oriental 
(Indian) word for " midday 
meal" may be said to be now 
in current use at home ; at least 
in certain circles. 

7^ing-ch*ai. This means "heark- 
to send," or "await despatch" ; 
it is a purely colloquial word, 
of northern origin. 

Tones. ^ These vary in practice from 
a minimum of four (Peking) to 
a maximum of eighteen (Canton) ; 
in theory there are lower (sonants) 



GLOSSARY 



36s 



and higher (surds) divisions of 
four tones in all dialects. 

THp-kdn-feng, ** Receive man- 
^urins hustings." 

Umamting, The German utnar- 
men, or *'to round arm"; to 
give the accoUuU, 

Umbrellas, Popular officials are 
presented witn a wan-ming san, 
or ** myriad name umbrella." 

Urine, I ought perhaps to apologise 
for allowing this unpoli^ed 
specimen of Tartar-steppe wit to 
sully the pages of Mr. Murray's 
book ; but, as he knows, even 
Shakespeare condescends to tell 
us what happens when ''some 
folks hear the bagpipes." The 
only difference is that the 
"gassy" provocation is noise 
in the Scotch case, and "side" 
in the Tartar. When I was 
telling a Manchu how I had 
forced a mandarin to open the 
middle door for me, he said, 
eyeing me from head to foot 
admiringly: "You did that to 
the Tartar-General?" "I did, 
indeed," said I ; "and I would 
do it again to any mandarin." 
" Ah ! ni'ti niao pu-siao ! " 
(" You have got a bladderfiil ! ") 



» 



Waiiing, " Circuit-names,'' or 
"hall-names." The sport consists 
in selecting a dozen or so out of 
several hundred fiimily names : 
whoever guesses most "wran- 
glers " wins an enormous prize. 



Wawa, Always * * baby " in Peking, 
but in YUn Nan and Sz Ch'wan 
applied toany "kid," or youngster. 

Wo'hap, Cantonese for ho-hoh, 
"Peaceful Union;" or perhaps 
hchk'iah, " Peaceful Joy." 

Yahu. "Tooth-Ai#A," or "ivory 
tablet" 

Yalu, "Duck-green" (River). 
This ancient word (Pekingese 
form) illustrates how Cantonese 
and Corean best represent the 
Chinese sounds as tney existed 
two thousand years ago. Yah{f)' 
luh{k) is the ancient or derivative 
form ; ap-luk is the modem Can- 
tonese, and ap-nck the Corean. 

Yo'kang, Evidently for nyo-ikang, 
the Chinese mao-kang; maiida 
ex aere fusa, carried by Corean 
travellers. On my first visit to 
the Corean Foreign Office, I 
noticed a row of them at the 
threshold, just as Japanese or 
Mussulmans leave their shoes. 
" Men's evil manners live in 
brass" so far z&yo-kangs go. 

Yourts. According to the late Mr. 
Gilmour, who lived long among 
the Mongols, gir is the proper 
name for "felt tent," and maihan 
for " cloth tent " : he denies that 
yuria is a Mongol word at alL 
The ancient Hun-Turkish word 
for " felt tent " is JCiunglu (in 
its Chinese dress), which mav 
possibly stand for some such 
sound as giur. 



INDEX 



A (b Dames), 361 

A-chak, I JO 

A-k&n, 146-8 

A-lu, 133 

A-n6, 21, 133 

A-shem, 148 

A-sz, 15 

Abu Bakar, Sultan, 379 

Address, fonns of, 90 

Adelaide, 47 

Admiral, Corean, 353 

Admirals, British, ti8 

Admirals, Chinese, 334, 336, 

241, 360 
Admiralty, i3i, 352 
Adoption, 236, 364 
Adoration, 77 

AgenU-provocakurs, 310, 323 
AkhAHdji. 1S4, 361 
Alcock, Sir Rutherford, (a 
AlGred, Prince, 390 
Allied War of 1859-60, i;o 
Almond tea, 240 
AmaM*, 31, 361 
Ambassadors, 172 
America, 34, 37, 43 
American experiences, 37, 59 
Americana, 53, 60. 118, 198, 

331, 359, 341 

387 



Amir of Afghanistan, 74 
Amoy, 79, 13s 
An Hwei, 198, 238 
Ancestors, 23, 70 
Anderson's tea case, 286 
Andrews, Mr. C, 264 
Annam, 6, 73, 199, 271, 275 

Emperor of, 75, 373 

Aoki, Dr., 311 
Aphrodisiacs, t8j 
Arabs, 27S, 280 
Arch, honorsiy, 3J3 
Anns, 135, ri8 
Arrowviax, 315 
Artillery, 2 $4 
Aspirates, 307 
Audience, 377 
Australia, 45 

Baber, Mr. E. C, 102, 158, 196, 

334 
"Baga," 11,361 
Baker, Sir S., 393-4 
Ballantbe, Captain, 374 
Ballarat, 4; 
Bangkok, 73, 126 
Banyan trees, 270, 313, 364 
Baptista, Father, 14, 300 
Barbados, 150 



368 IN 

" Barbarian," 326, 335 
Barbers, 229, 34;, 349 
Banistus, 215, 317 
Batavia, 3$\ 
Bdal, Pile, 96 
Beggars. 2, 158, 283, 289 
Bbamo, 13, 56, 81, 82, 140, 194, 

199. 244 
Bigandet, Biahop, 199 
Birth, status by, 254 
Bishops, 87, 190, 199 
Black Flags, 233, 370, 361 
Blanc, P*re, 189 
Blellcry, Maoslgnor, 107, 193 
Blockade o( Hongkong, 306, 312 
Bo (tenia), 263, 361 
Boards, Peking, 170 
Bocca Tigris, 1 34 
Boers, 8$, 247 

Bonzes, 18, 23, 209, 223, 363 
Borneo, 380 

"Bo«r8," 20, 77, 130, 176, 238 
"Boys," IS. ig.33, 56, 130, 375, 

3=0. 33°. 346 
Brabazon, Captain, 169 
Brazil, 43, 387 
Brenton, Captain, R.N., I18 
Bribes, 53,311 
Bridges, 396 

Brigadier-Generals, 106, 113,236 
British, 351 
Brothers, 361 
Brown, Mr. McLeavy, 66, 143, 

307 
Bryson, Mr., 307 
"Buddha, Soft," 279 
Buddhism, zo2, 322 
BudddchiDga, 309, 361 
Bugs, 340 
Bullflck, Profeasor T. L., 331 



Burma. 12, t;, $6, 61 
194,251,26^279, 3 
Burning the dead, 23 
Buttons of rank, 333, : 
Byzantine ceremonies, 

Cadouk, Father, i94-< 
Calcutta. 173 
Calendar, Chinese, 27; 
Calice, Baron de, 340 
Canton, 231, 288 
Canton experiences, i 
100, 124, 145-7, It 
200, 316, 370, 288, 

yam/n, 17, 29, 33 

Cantonese, 48, 60, 74 
Captain -General, 145 
Carpenters, 38, 355 
"Cash," 315 
"Cat-head," 315, 361 
Cathedral, 96 
Catholics, Roman, i8[ 
Chang Chao-tung, Gov 
Chang Chen-toh. Lieu 
Chang ChT-tuDg, 174, 

351, 324 
Ch'ang, General, 330 
Chang JSn-cheng, "Fo 
Chang Shu-sheng, Vii 

337 
Chang Tao-ling, Taoisi 
Chang the Giant. 305 
Ch'aiig-ao Sz, temple, ; 
Chang-chou Fu, 79 
Chang-firh, "boy," 8, t 
103, log, 112. 114, 
296, 304. 331. 344, 35 
Ch'angshan, Tartar Gei 
Ch'atao, town, 183 
Chefoo ConventioD, 32; 



INDEX 



369 



Chfih Kiang, 166, 319, 337 
Chemulpho, 9, 84, 120, 177, 189, 

241, 250, 256, 299, 3S4 
Ch'fin, Captain, 246-8, 342-3 
Ch'6n Lan-pin, Minister, 42 
Ch'6ngfu, Director, 309 
Ch'6nglin, statesman, 63 
Ch'6ngtu, capital, 106 
Chiengmai, 75 
Chih Li, 170 

China Inland Mission, 200 
"Chinaman," 361 
Chinamen, Anglicised, 47 
Chinese Question, 120, 280 
— speakers, 186 

style, 66, 269, 276 

Ching, Commander, R.N., 251 
Chinkiang experiences, 1-4, 24- 

5, 92-4, 316 
Cholera, 18, 27, 32 
ChoH magistrate, 161 
Chou, iaotai^ 341, 342 
Christianity, 182, 201, 203, 219, 

256 
Christians, native, 99, loi, 107, 

150, 157, 180, 184, 191, 201, 

253. 274. 298 
Chu, taotai, 337, 341 
Ch'un, Prince, 55, 251, 260 
Chunghou, envoy, 215, 323 
Chungking, 100, 156, 162, 184, 

202, 217, 237 
Ch'unglun, statesman, 62, 64 
Cincius, 69 

Civilian mandarins, 329 
Clerks, 150, 249 
Qothes, II, 48, 58. 7S^ 79» 219, 

223-4, 255, 314, 364 (see 

Dress) 
Cocker, Captain, 27 



Coffins, 23, 72, 103, 169 
Colonies, Hindoo, 280 
Commissioners of Customs, 108, 

109, 117, 122, 167 (see 

Customs) 
Compensation, 22, 25, 117, 119, 

133. 136, 162. 222-4, 317. 321, 

337 
" Compound," 362 
"Concessions," 121 
Concubines, 271 
Confucianism, 67, 208, 214 
Confucius, 67, 69, 71, 170, 225 
Constables, 93, iii, 133 
Constantinople, 78 
Consulates, 84, 94, 109, in, 

121. 339 
Consuls, 167, 209, 308 
Consuls, Chinese, 130, 258 
Coolie trade, 12, 42, 153 
Coolies, 15, 267, 288, 297, 352 
Corea, 55, 120, 130, 188, 200^ 

253, 260, 268, 276, 299, 346 
Corea, King (now Emperor) of, 

122, 177, 250, 259 
Corpses, 24 
Corvies^ 269 
Coste, P^e, 189 

Court, Supreme, 212, 214, 317 
Cremation, 23 
Cuba, 42 

Cuspidores, 168, 362 
Customs officers, 117, 130, 320 
(see Commissioners) 

Dacoits, 141, 362 
Danes, 341 

Davenport, Mr. A., 334 
Decouvre, Pdre, 297 
Deer Island, 254 

24 



i70 IN 

Deguetle, P6re, 1S9 

Deli, 43 

Dialects, 11, 135, 175, 205, 309. 

316, 388, 290, 313, 318, 356 
Diegues, Father, 14, 87 
Dinners, 168, 33$ 
Diplomats, 40, 42, 54, 81, 131, 

177, 298, 308, 322 
Diaraeti, B., 303 
ZWm", 87 

Doctors, 4, 3i8~io, 316 
Dolichos, 212 
Doorkeepers, 331 
Doors (of honour), 173, 334 
Dowager-Empress, 86, 177 
Dowell, Admiral, 1 18 
Dragons, 30 
Dress, 48, $8, 75, 79, 84, 86, Ij8, 

IW "^ "39. 3S5, 378, 311, 

33O1 364 (*« Clothes) 
Drunken ness, 167, 190 
Dumollard, 196 
Dutch, 44, 55, 8t, 379, 380 
DTnasties, 327, 336 
vassal, 79 

Eclipses, 34 
Edinburgh, Duke of; 390 
Egypt, ancient, 169 
Elephants, 77 
Elias, Mr. Ney, 163 
Emi^lion, 380 
Emperor, 31, 173, 177 

of Annam, 277 

of China, 77 

of Japan, 77 

Emperor's father, jg 
Empress-Dowager, 86, 177 
English rule, 44, 80, 199, 380 
— ^ Pharisees, $3 



Eructation, 167 
Escorts, 137,367.335 
Ennucha, 76 
Eurasians, 198 
Europeans, 380 
Examinations, 91 
Exclusion Bill, 53 
Exorcising, 18 
Extradition, 140 

•' Facfur," King, 31, 108, 363 
Family Lam, 1 50 
Famine, 1 
Fan-fam, 363 
Fatalism, 33 
Fati, Tillage, 135 
Fatsban, 33, ■53, 363 
Fees, 150 

Feet, squeezed. 6, 391^ 315 
Feikoo, gunboat, 37, 363 
Ferdinand, Prince, 340 
Fertech, state, 43 
Ferns, edible^ 12 
Fiji, 47, 80, 197 
Fisher, Mr., 387 
Fleet, Chinese, I30 
Flogging, 95 
Foochow, 166 

experiences, 68 (ue Pa- 
goda Island), 70 
Food, 84, 194, 301 
Foreign Office, 15, 89 
Foreignera, confidence ii 



39. 



327 
Forts, 247. 347 
Francis, Mr. R., 287 
French Ministers, 107, 191-3, 
I >98 
French ride, 44, $0, 81, [84, 199, 



INDEX 



371 



French war, 9, 20, 108, 1 1 8 
Frenchmen, 63, 73, 76, 87, 97, 
135, 146, 184, 186, 254, 275, 

297 
Fukienese, 56, 348 
Funerals, 23, 169, 282 
Fusan, 253 (see Tung-lai) 
Fu't'ou, 352 

Gaillard, P^e, S.J., 151, 198 
Gambling, 46, 52. 59, 93, 173, 

304, 332 
Gardner, Mr. Chris., C.M.G., 169 

Mr. T., 231 

Gamier, Bishop, 198 

Gates, city, 294 

Genealogies, 70 

Generals, Chinese, 233 

Gentleman, Corean, 254 {see 

Nyangpan) 
Gerard, M., 87, 198 
Germans, 39, 43» 61, 63, 98, 109, 

118, 221, 228, 251, 280, 287 
Gharries, 201 
Gill, Captain, 32, 344 
Groitre, 62 

Gordon, General, 117, 177 
Gorges, 236, 328 
Grovemment, British, 218 
Governor of Hongkong, 308, 

3SO 
Granville, Lord, 95, 122 

Graves, 340 

Gray, Archdeacon, 4, 288 

Gros, Baron, 169 

Grosvenor, Hon. T. G., 334 

Grundy, Mr. and Mrs., 293 

Guiana, 150, 153 

Gunboats, 118, 120, 251, 258, 

262, 286 



Hainan {see Hoihow) 

Haiphong, 248 

Hakkas, 5, 17, 46, 54i 146. 362 

Hamilton, Mr., 287 

Han, convert, 180 

Hance, Dr. H. F., Ph.D., 175, 

i8s. 3SO 
Hanabusa, Minister, 250 
Hankow, 90, 205, 286 
Hanoi, 73, 75, 199, 270 
Harems, 8$ 
"Harry's" hotel, 130 
Hart, Sir Robert, 65, 11$, 117, 

"9t 130. 306 
Hassan, Prince, 81 
Hats, 255, 291, 297 
Hawaii, {see Honolulu) 
Hayllar, Mr. T., K.C., 318 
Head-dresses, 3, 11, 74, 255 
Hennessy, Sir John Pope, 294, 

308, 312 
Hia, the akhUnd, 184 
Hideyoshi, 253 
Hien officials, 102, 104, no, 113, 

ii9t 233» 239,311,326 
Hien-f6ng, Emperor, 170 
Hindoos, 76, 279-80 
Ho King, the Viceroy, 166 
Ho Nan, 172 

Ho Tsin-sh6n, Admiral, 234 
Hoihow, 10, 87, 241 
experiences, 14, 198, 200^ 

217, 247. 335» 338 
Hongkew ("Rainbow Mouth '*), 

198 
Hongkong, 50, 140, 155, 164, 

196, 209, 210, 251, 294, 307 

press, 99 

Honolulu, 48, $3, 280 
Hope, CaptaiOi R.N., 118 






372 



INDEX 




Hoppo, 175, 306, 362 

Horse-dealers, 264, 313 

Hoshi Toru, Mr., 215 

Hospitals, 198 

Hour, Chinese, 36 

House-boats, 316 

Houses, 85, 278 

Howqua, 215, 289 

Hu Nan, 174, 208, 234 

Hu Peh experiences, 5, 70, 90, 

267 
Hue, Abb6, 221 

Hu6, 7S. 271. 27S 

Husbands, Chinese, 47, 49, $4 

Ha family, 36 

Governor, 166-8 

Hwai, river, 163, 319 

Hwaitapu, statesman, 169 

Hwei-sing, the bonze, 209, 362 

Ibrahim, Sultan, 279 
Ichang, 236, 329 
Hi, 227 

Immorality, 51 
India, 78, 164 

Viceroy of, 74 

Indian army, 247 

Grovemment, 42, 81, 196 

Indo-China, 51 (see Annam, 

Tonquin, etc.) 
Inland Mission, China, 200 
Inns, 159, 161, 183, 329 
Insan, 189 {see Chemulpho) 
Irishmen, 13, 311 
Irishwomen, 45 
Irrawaddy, 141 
Islam, 203 
Italians, 46, no, 113, 115, 116, 

118, 222 
Italy, 181 



Jack the boatman, 243, 358 

Jack-tars, 118 

Januario, H.E. Governor, 12$ 

Japan, 251 

Japanese, 53, 55, 84, 120, 129, 

176, 207, 216, 221, 244, 250^ 

259, 268, 276, 354 

types, 81 

Java, 280 

jehol, 170 

Jesuits, 36, 87, 151, 197, 202, 340 

Jews, 180, 182 

John, Rev. G., 235 

Johnson, Dr., 182, 203 

Johore, 279 

Joseph, 273 

Joss, 362 

Jumbo, 274 

Jungle, 194 

Junks, 349 

Junk Ceylon, 78 

Jurisdiction, 135 

Justice, 136 

Jweilin, Viceroy, 125, 169-71, 186 

Kachyns, 83, 84-6, 127, 194 6, 

266 
Kalakaua, King, 53, 55 
Kan Suh, 183 
Kanakas, 362 
K'ang (couch), 275, 362 
Kavass (messenger), 362 
Kerosene, 1$, no 
Ketteler, Baron von, 100 
Kewkiang, 90, 174, 285, 320 
Khaw (HQ) family, 36 
Kiang Nan, 198 

Si, 174, 286 

Su, 166, 198 

Kidnapping, 5 



Kienlung, Emperor, 63, 68 

Kiensbl, city, 70 

K'i-k'ou, port, 347 

Kin Cho-an (Jobau), 184 

King (ite Emperor) 

King of EngUod, 338 

Kipling, Ur. R., 394 

Kissing, 63 

Kiings, 43, 57, 373, 363 {ite 

Tamils, Hadrassis) 
Koh-si Cbang, island, iz6 
Kopsch, Mr. H., 167 
Kot plant, 313, 219 
Kotffw, 11, 34177.79-363 
Kowloong, 306 
Koyander, Mr, 324 
Kra, 78 

Kublai Khan, 21, 70, 108 
Kung, Prince, 62, 65, 144, 230 
Kupeh K"oii, 229, 363 
JCwa-tM (boat), 363 
Kwang Si, 174 
Kivang Tung {see Canton, 

Cantonese) 
Kwang-sO, reign, 174 
Kwei Chou, 184, 200, 366, 296 
K'wei Kwan, 338 
Kwelvang, statesman, 6j 
Kwochang, hien magistrate, 104 
Kwok A-cheong, 309 

Labour Question, 48, S4 

Ladies, Chinese, 290 

Lagrte mission, 83 

Lamas, 68, 263 

Lang, Admiral (Capt.), R.N., 240, 

251 
Langshun, state, 79 
Language, Annamese, 76, 199, 



EX 373 

Language, Chinese, 207 

Lao Vinh-phuc, 232 

Lappa, 306 

Uw, 156, 215, 249, 269, 307 

" Law," Mr., 206 

Lawyers, 38, 216, 317, 363 

Lees, Rev. Jonathan, t8o 

Legge, Dr., 319 

Lew, Old, 143 

Li dynasty, 271 

Li Han-chang, 348, 334, 336 

Li Hung-chang, 63, 86^ 97, 163-S, 

178,314,241,248,333 
Ukin, 139, 174, 285 
Limoges, Count of, i63 
Ling A-luk, 20; 
Literates, 92, 335 
Little, Ur. and Mrs. Archibald, 

151 
Liu K'un-yih, Viceroy, 31, 53, 

86, 174-6, 186, 336, 386, 307, 

333 
Livadia, 323 

Lo Pao^hl, 107, 184, 191, 193 
Lockhart, Hon. J. Stewart, 312 
Logan, 100 
Lolos, 1^8 

London Chinamen, 30S-6 
Lotteries, 304 
Lu, Old, 316 
La Shan, 285 
Luang-Prabang, 73 
Lunatics, 8, 356 
Lung-hu Shan, 68, 363 
Lungts'Qan, city, 137 

Ma Chung, General, 83 
Ma Fu-ch'u, 82 
Ha TCh-hing, 83 
. Maatschappij, 43, 3^3 



374 IN 

Macao, 6, 43, 60, 96, 99, 124, 

173. 3<H 
Hacartner, Lord, 63 
Hacgowan, Dr. D. J., 110, 113, 

"S 
HcKean, Ur., barrister, 317 
Macpherson, 49 

Mr. Alexander, 43 
Madras sis (see Klings), 79 
Afd/u {" horse-maa "X ^68 
BfaUys, 79, 378 
Hal«, 141 

Halet, Sir E. B^ 38; 
Ma-mwi, 9, 19, 363 
Mancbus, 64, 70, 164, 17a. 353, 

308,311,321,337,362 
Handalay, 13, 370, 375 
Haodaria trade, i6£t 346, 336, 

338, 341, 363 
Manila, SO, 134, 136, 351 
Maozi, 173 

Hargaiy, Mr. A. R., 335 
Marines, 123 
Marriages, S, 7, 13. ^83 
J/<ir«["«tcainer"X363 
Matin, state of, 140 
Mayera. Mr. W. F., 351 
Mayors, 93 
Mecca, 82, 83 
Medicine, 2ZI, 316, 364 
Melbource, 47 
Mencius,69 
Mentha (" prince "), 363 
Mergui, 35 
Hiao-tsz, 26 s 
Military, British, 310 

Cliinese, 333-40, 339 
Milner, Lord, 359 
Miners, 45 
Ming dynasty, 253, 3S6. 327 



Hing-manb, " Emperor," or King, 

373 
Ministers, 174, 314 
Hint, 170 
Miaaionaries, 13, 61, 64, lo;, 

107, us, i8(^ 186, 189, 335, 

354, 338 
Missioms Etrwigires, 188, 198, 

300, 297 
Hoellendorff, Mr. P. G. von, 189, 

"93 
HogOk, 141 
Homeia, 143 
Mongan, Consul, 70 
Mongol rulers, 71, 339, 263, 327 
Mongolia, 34 s 
Mongols, 263 
Sfora, game, 169, 363 
Morality, ji, 63 
Mothers, 8, 306, 346 
Mourning, 189 
Mules, 396 
Mundy, Mr., 134 
Muitici pall ties, 149 
Muonglai, slate, 73 
MuongpD, state, 83 
Muongs, the, 73 
Murder, 139, 140, 34; 
" Murders," 33, 131, 134 
Music, 78, 366 
Mussulmans, 6s. 81, 105, isi, 

183-S. 191. 193. 838 

Nails, of hand, 63 
Names, 69,71, 7S, 363 
Namhoi, 147, IS3 
Namoa, piracy of, 137 

Nampaung, station, 143 
Nanchang Fu, 386 
Nanking, 176 



INDEX 



375 



Nan-p'i city, 324 

Nantabet river, 127 

Navies, local, 97, 112, 240, 251 

Navy, British, 271 

Neumann, Mr. Julius, 248 

New Caledonia, $$ 

Newcastle, 256, 260 

New Year, 147, 277, 361 

New Zealand, 47 

Ng Choy, Mr., 215 {see Wu 

Ting-fang) 
Nguyen dynasty, 271 
Nien Fei, rebels, 238, 363 
Nijni Novgorod, 363 
Nine Gates, 145 * 
Ningpo, 1 16, 1 18, 170, 206, 222-4, 

356 
Nobles, Annamese, 275, 276 
Noyes, Rev. H. V., 292 
Nunn, Joshua, 93 
Nuns, 8 
NyangPan (**two court-sets"), 

254 

Oaths, 161, 212 
Ocean men, 284 
O'Conor, Sir Nicholas, 122 
Opium, 20, 33, 43, 46, 52, 53, 
176, 209, 238, 304. 310, 325, 

331. 337, 341, 343, 345, 3S3 
OToole, family, 13-5, 201 

Ow, Old, 149, 208-10, 217 

Pagoda Island experiences, 27, 

70, 131, 134, 241, 345, 357 
Pagodas, 352, 363 
Pahang, state, 280 
Paho, town, 90 
Pakhoi, 74, 345 
Palace, Annamese, 77, 277 



Palikao, Count de, 169 

Panthays, 65, 81, 363 

Paoytln, statesman, 63 

Parkes, Sir Harry, 108, 117, 215, 

217, 299 

Parlac, state, 43 

Parthia, 78 

Pashang-ku, station, 265 

Passports, 230, 293, 325 

Peit'ang, port, 347 

Pei Yin-s6n, Commissioner, 19 

Peking, 39, 144, 284, 327 

Pekingese, 39, 56, 209 

Pelchd^ officer, 363 

Penang, 80, 198, 2$ i 

Pencil chat, 255, 275 

P6ng, Colonel, 94 

taotai^ 18$ 

Yah-lin, Admiral, 236 

Perera, Sefior, 135 

Persia, 78 

Persian types, 81 

Peru, 42 

Phaulcon, Constantine, 3$ 

Philology, 287 

Philosophers, 69, 85 

Philosophy, 68 

Photographs, 165, 18$ 

Pickpockets, 144 

" Pidjin," 287, 343, 349, 364 

Pigs. 3381 339 

Pigtails, 46, 56, 80^ 219, 297, 333, 

336. 364 
Pirates, 98, 124, 127 

Plague, 196 

Pocock, Captain, 138, 243 

Poetiy, 34, 62, 211, 225, 266, 

278 

Poles, carrying, 126 

Police, 326 



!«■ 



376 



INDEX 



Politeness, 209, 289, 396 
Polo, Marco, 21, 43, 108 
Pontu, state, 85 
Pope, the, 87, 181, 202, 340 
"Pope," Mussulman (see Ma 

Fu-ch'u) 

Taoist, 69 

Pork, 134, 183 

Portuguese, 5, 88, 99, 11 1, 201, 

280 
Postmaster-General, 154 
Post-office, 146, 153 
•• Potted " ancestors, 23, 24, 28 
Poyang, lake, 285 
Presents, 88, 147, 166 
Priests, Buddhist, 112 
foreign, 51 {see Jesuits, 

Roman Catholics, etc) 
Prince, Burmese, 246, 363 
Princess, Annamese, 271-2 
Prisons, 55 
Processions, 282 
Proclamations, 335, 352 
Protectorates, 278, 281 
Protestant missions, 54, 99, 103, 

199, 342 {see China Inland) 
Proverbs, 236 
Provinces, Eighteen, 164 
Prussia, 65 
Pusan, port, 253 

QUELPAERT, 253 



Rain-coats, 22 

Rajahs, 35. 78 

Rangoon, 58, 81, 140, 

273 
Rams, City of, 290, 364 
Rapids, 236, 349 



I99» 



Rats, 157, 209 

Rebellions (see ** Boxers," 

Taipings), 65, 170 
Red boats, 236 
Reform, 173 

Religion, 67, l8i, 203-4, 316 
Renoung, state, 35, 78 
Riots, 92-114, 121 
Rruer of Golden Sand^ 344 
Roads, 24 
Robertson, Sir Brooke, 17, 169, 

186, 215, 219, 289, 350 
Roman Catholics, 14, $1, 88, 102, 

107, 108, 157, 192, 340 {see 

Priests, Jesuits, etc) 
Rome, 78, 270, 309 
Rossel, M., 87 
Ruby Mines, 141 
Russia, 19, 55, 174, 177^ 262, 280, 

341 
Russian experiences, 39, 63, 231, 

259 

Sacrifices, 56, 80 
Sadler, Mr., 207 
Sah, Captain, 261 
Sailors, Chinese, 348 
Sai-ts'iu, village, 364 
Salt, 129, 296, 306, 319 
Salutes, 242, 259, 261 
Sampan^ 364 
Sampson, Mr. Theo., 150 
Samsah inlet, 348 
San Francisco, 1S3 
Santos, Pedro de los, 134 

Scotch, 49» 55. 235 
Scotchmen, 116 
Seals, 246 

Sedan-chairs, 90, 168, 192, 267, 
283, 297, 352, 35S 



Sefan, state, 83 

Scngmuyu, orphanage. 197 

Seward, Hon, W. H., 284 

Shamien, j3,39. 15a, IS5 

Shan cbiefs, 140 

Shan Si Chinese 41, 237 

Shan states, 73 

Shan Tung, 237 

Shanghai, 10, 53, tii, 116, 162, 

198, 206, 316 
Shasi, port, 19 
Shek-wan, lowrs, 32, 364 
Shfin Kwei-Kn, statesman, 63 
SM, the word, 69, 87, 364 
Shibartai, station, 264 
SkifiingSceius. 385 
Shih Leh, Emperor, 209 
Shih-hiah, town, 329, 364 
Sla-Kittg, 364 
Shipping, 150 
Skl^e, 364 
Shooting, 316 
Shui-ying, station, 253 
Siain, 79, 200, 251, 279 
Siam experiences, 34-6, 78-80 
Siamese, 73 
Siao-lan, town, 166 
Siccawei, 197, 199 
Silver, 353 
Sima, post, 8s 
Singapore, 12, jo, 80, 3ot, 241, 

279. 337 
Singing, 266 

Singpho, [94 {see Kachjroa) 
Sit, Hr., 152 
Skatschkoff, Consul, 70 
Skin diseases, 317 
Sladen, 82 

SUve trade {see Coolie tT«de) 
Slaves, 56, I JO, 249 



EX 377 

Smalev Judge, 150 

Smith, Mr. F. P., 30 

Smuggling, 129, 306, 311, 319 

Snakes, 19; 

Snobbism, 86 

Snubs, 334 

Societies, secret, 80 

Soldiers, 93, 115, itS, 330, 232- 

40, 244-^ 329 
Some rvi lie, Dn, 70 
Soolhill, Rev. W, E., 109 
SOul, 250, 3s6, 259, 263, 268, 

=99. 354 
South Seas, 351, 281 
Spaniards, 50, 81, 134, 212, 

2S0 
spark piracy, 94, 124 
Spectacles, 14;, 219 
Sport, 316 

Squeezes, 249, 257, 309, 341 
Staunton, Sir George, 63 
Stead, Mr„ 359 
Steamers, 13$, 132 
Stewart, Captain, 98 
Straits, Tlie, 379 
Students, 91 
Siian-hwa Fu, 363 
Sugar, S3 

Suicides, 19, 21, 83, 2;o, 252 
Suite, 282 {see Processions) 
Suliman, Sultan, 82 
Sumatra, 43, 279 
Summers, Dr J., 49, 207 
Sung ■dynasty, 327 
Superstition, 61, loj, 316 
SwBtOW, 9, 1 1, 12, 33, 44 

Sydney, 47 

Sz Ch'wan experiences, 32-4, 

100-4, 1S&-8, 191, 300, 337 

313. 335. 3*8-30. 35" 



378 



INDEX 



Ta Ts'ing dynasty, 336 

Tabu, 211, 364 

Taipings, 3, 5, 24, 97 

Tai-wOn-kuD, 177, 250, 364 

Takeda, Mr., 207 

Taku, 347 

Tali Fu, 81 

Tamils {see Klings), 346 

Tanaka, Dr., 120, 221 

Tang dynasty, 327 

Tanka people, 266 

Tao, General, 94 

Taoism, 67, 202, 364 

TaoUUst 2$, 88, 102, 113, 167, 

185, 248, 330, 335, 337-43 
Tartar Generals, 174 
Tartars, 227, 336 {see Manchus, 

Mongols, etc.) 
Tea taxes, 286 
Teachers, 205-7, 222-4 
Telegraph, 122, 141, 302 
Temples, 23, 108, 118, 192, 222, 

273, 279, 296. 342 
T6ng, Captein, 122, 256 
Tennasserim, 140 
Termoz, Monsignor, 87 
Thieving, 146, 148, 151, 156, 159, 

274 
Thirteen Hongs, 148 

Thomson, Mr. J., 165 

Thurston, Governor, 80 

Tibetans, 194 

Tidewaiters, 109, 110 {see 

Customs officers) 

Tien, Old, 143 

Tsai-t'ien, 237-9 

Tientsin, 70, 163, 180, 259, 340, 

344 
Ti6u Van-tri, 73 
Tiffin, 364 



Tim the thief, 148 

Ting, Admiral, 177, 241, 250, 

260 
— Pao-ch6ng, Viceroy, 106 
T'ing-ck'oia, 16, 32, 93, 100, 109, 

112, 127, 131, 141, 244, 293, 

331. 3S4, 364 
TifaOt 92 

" Tips," 89 
Tirant, M., 73 
Tobacco plantations, 43 
Tokyo, 260 

Tombs, Imperial, 229, 272 
Tones, 207, 208, 266, 272, 364 
Tongkah, state, 78 
Tonquin, 191, 270 

experiences, 72, 199 

Torai, 253 {see Tung-lai) 

Tcmiado, 17, 29 

Torture, 153, 178 

Tourane, 75 

Trang, state, 79 

Transit-passes, 14 

Transmigration of souls, 68 

Travelling-boats, 127 

Ts'6n YQh-ying, Governor and 

Viceroy, 82, 334 
Ts6ng, family, 69, 71 

Marquess, 71, 176 

Kwoh-fan, Viceroy, 236 

Kwoh-tsQ'an, Governor and 

Viceroy, 176 
Ts'ingt'ien, city, 127 
Tso Tsung-t'ang, Viceroy, 236 
Tsung-li Ydminf 62, 106, 143, 

231 
Tu W6n-siu, Sultan, 82 
Tung Son, statesman, 62 
Tungchow, 170 
Tungkadu, school, 198