Life's handicap; being stories of mine own people

UC-NRLF

t,fl4

THE LIBRARY

OF

THE UNIVERSITY

OF CALIFORNIA

DAVIS

Y-

LIFE'S HANDICAP

LIFE'S HANDICAP

BEING STORIES OF

MINE OWN PEOPLE

BY

EUDYAED KIPLING

I met a hundred men on the road to Delhi and they were all my brothers.

Native Proverb.

LIBRARY

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
DAVIS

ILontixin

MACMILLAN AND CO.

AND NEW YORK
1891

All rights reserved

First Edition, August 1891.
Reprinted, September and October 1891.

Printed by R. & R. CLARK, Edinburgh.

TO

. *.

FROM

E. K

1887-89
C. M. G.

PREFACE

IN Northern India stood a monastery called The Chubara
of Dhunni Bhagat. No one remembered who or what
Dhunni Bhagat had been. He had lived his life, made a
little money and spent it all, as every good Hindu should
do, on a work of piety — the Chubara. That was full of
brick cells, gaily painted with the figures of Gods and
kings and elephants, where worn-out priests could sit and
meditate on the latter end of things : the paths were
brick paved, and the naked feet of thousands had worn
them into gutters. Clumps of mangoes sprouted from
between the bricks ; great pipal trees overhung the well-
windlass that whined all day ; and hosts of parrots tore
through the trees. Crows and squirrels were tame in that
place, for they knew that never a priest would touch them.

The wandering mendicants, charm -sellers, and holy
vagabonds for a hundred miles round used to make the
Chubara their place of call and rest. Mahomedan,
Sikh, and Hindu mixed equally under the trees. They
were old men, and when man has come to the turnstiles
of Night all the creeds in the world seem to him wonder
fully alike and colourless.

Gobind the one-eyed told me this. He was a holy man

viii PREFACE

who lived on an island in the middle of a river and fed
the fishes with little bread pellets twice a day. In flood-
time, when swollen corpses stranded themselves at the foot
of the island, Gobind would cause them to be piously
burned, for the sake of the honour of mankind, and hav
ing regard to his own account with God hereafter. But
when two-thirds of the island was torn away in a spate,
Gobind came across the river to Dhunni Bhagat's Chubara,
he and his brass drinking vessel with the well-cord round
^the neck, his short arm-rest crutch studded the brass nails,
his roll of bedding, his big pipe, his umbrella, and his tall
sugar-loaf hat with the nodding peacock feathers in it. He
wrapped himself up in his patched quilt made of every
colour and material in the world, sat down in a sunny
corner of the very quiet Chubara, and, resting his arm on
his short-handled crutch, waited for death. The people
brought him food and little clumps of marigold flowers,
and he gave his blessing in return. He was nearly blind,
and his face was seamed and lined and wrinkled beyond
belief, for he had lived in his time which .was before the
English came within five hundred miles of Dhunni Bhagat's
Chubara.

When we grew to know each other well, Gobind would
tell me tales in a voice most like the rumbling of heavy
guns over a wooden bridge. His tales were true, but not
one in twenty could be printed in an English book, because
the English do not think as natives do. They brood over
matters that a native would dismiss till a fitting occasion ;
and what they would not think twice about a native will
brood over till a fitting occasion : then native and English

PREFACE ix

stare at each other hopelessly across great gulfs of mis
comprehension.

' And what/ said Gobind one Sunday evening, ' is your
honoured craft, and by what manner of means earn you
your daily bread ? '

' I am,' said I, ' a kerani — one who writes with a pen
upon paper, not being in the service of the Government/

' Then what do you write ? ' said Gobind. ' Come nearer,
for I cannot see your countenance, and the light fails.'

' I write of all matters that lie within my understand
ing, and of many that do not. But chiefly I write of Life
and Death, and men and women, and Love and Fate
according to the measure of my ability, telling the tale
through the mouths of one, two, or more people. Then
by the favour of God the tales are sold and money accrues
to me that I may keep alive.'

'Even so,' said Gobind. 'That is the work of the
bazar story-teller ; but he speaks straight to men and
women and does not write anything at all. Only when
the tale has aroused expectation, and calamities are about
to befall the virtuous, he stops suddenly and demands
payment ere he continues the narration. Is it so in your
craft, my son ? '

' I have heard of such things when a tale is of great
length, and is sold as a cucumber, in small pieces/

' Ay, I was once a famed teller of stories when I was
begging on the road between Koshin and Etra; before the
last pilgrimage that ever I took to Orissa. I told many
tales and heard many more at the rest-houses in the evening
when we were merry at the end of the march. It is in my

X PREFACE

heart that grown men are but as little children in the
matter of tales, and the oldest tale is the most beloved.'

1 With your people that is truth/ said I. ' But in regard
to our people they desire new tales, and when all is
written they rise up and declare that the tale were better
told in such and such a manner, and doubt either the
truth or the invention thereof.'

' But what folly is theirs ! ' said Gobind throwing out
his knotted hand. ' A tale that is told is a true tale as
long as the telling lasts. And of their talk upon it —
you know how Bilas Khan, that was the prince of tale
tellers, said to one who mocked him in the great rest-
house on the Jhelum road : " Go on, my brother, and
finish that I have begun," and he who mocked took up
the tale, but having neither voice nor manner for the task
came to a standstill, and the pilgrims at supper made
him eat abuse and stick half that night/

' Nay, but with our people, money having passed, it is
their right; as we should turn against a shoeseller in
regard to shoes if those wore out. If ever I make a book
you shall see and judge.'

' And the parrot said to the falling tree, "Wait, brother,
till I fetch a prop ! ' said Gobind with a grim chuckle.
1 God has given me eighty years, and it may be some over.
I cannot look for more than day granted by day and as a
favour at this tide. Be swift/

'In what manner is it best to set about the task/
said I, ' oh chiefest of those who string pearls with
their tongue ? '

' How do I know ? Yet ' — he thought for a little —

PREFACE xi

'how should I not know ? God has made very many
heads, but there is only one heart in all the world among
your people or my people. They are children in the
matter of tales/

1 But none are so terrible as the little ones, if a man
misplace a word, or in a second telling vary events by so
much as one small devil/

'Ay, I also have told tales to the little ones, but do

thou this ' His old eyes fell on the gaudy paintings

of the wall, the blue and red dome, and the flames of the
poinsettias beyond. ' Tell them first of those things that
thou hast seen and they have seen together. Thus their
knowledge will piece out thy imperfections. Tell them
of what thou alone hast seen, then what thou hast heard,
and since they be children tell them of battles and kings,
horses, devils, elephants, and angels, but omit not to tell
them of love and suchlike. All the earth is full of tales
to him who listens and does not drive away the poor
from his door. The poor are the best of tale-tellers ; for
they must lay their ear to the ground every night/

After this conversation the idea grew in my head, and
Gobind was pressing in his inquiries as to the health of
tlie book.

Later, when we had been parted for months, it hap
pened that I was to go away and far off, and I came to
bid Gobind good-bye.

' It is farewell between us now, for I go a very long
journey/ I said.

'And I also. A longer one than thou. But what of
the book ? ' said he.

Xll PREFACE

' It will be born in due season if it is so ordained.'

' I would I could see it/ said the old man, huddling
beneath his quilt. ' But that will not be. I die three
days hence, in the night, a little before the dawn. The
term of my years is accomplished.'

In nine cases out of ten a native makes no mis
calculation as to the day of his death. He has the
foreknowledge of the beasts in this respect.

' Then thou wilt depart in peace, and it is good talk,
for thou hast said that life is no delight to thee.'

' But it is a pity that our book is not born. How
shall I know that there is any record of my name ? '

' Because I promise, in the forepart of the book,
preceding everything else, that it shall be written,
Gobind, sadhu, of the island in the river and awaiting
God in Dhunni Bhagat's Chubara, first spoke of the
book/ said I.

' And gave counsel — an old man's counsel. Gobind,
son of Gobind of the Chumi village in the Karaon
tehsil, in the district of Mooltan. Will that be written
also ? '

' That will be written also.'

'And the book will go across the Black Water to the
houses of your people, and all the Sahibs will know of
me who am eighty years old ? '

' All who read the book shall know. I cannot
promise for the rest.'

' That is good talk. Call aloud to all who are in the
monastery, and I will tell them this thing.'

They trooped up, faquirs, sadhus, sunny asis, lyragis,

PREFACE Xlll

nihangs, and mullahs, priests of all faiths and every
degree of raggedness, and Gobind, leaning upon his
crutch, spoke so that they were visibly filled with envy,
and a white-haired senior bade Gobind think of his
latter end instead of transitory repute in the mouths
of strangers. Then Gobind gave me his blessing and
I came away.

These tales have been collected from all places, and all
sorts of people, from priests in the Chubara, from Ala
Yar the carver, Jiwun Singh the carpenter, nameless
men on steamers and trains round the world, women
spinning outside their cottages in the twilight, officers
and gentlemen now dead and buried, and a few, but
these are the very best, my father gave me. The greater
part of them have been published in magazines and news
papers, to whose editors I am indebted ; but some are new
on this side of the water, and some have not seen the
light before.

The most remarkable stories are, of course, those which
do not appear — for obvious reasons.

CONTENTS

PAGE

THE INCARNATION OF KEISHNA MULVANEY . • . . 1

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD . . . . .33

ON GREENHOW HILL . . . . . .62

THE MAN WHO WAS ...... 84

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT ..... 102

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY ..... 130

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE ..... 159

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS . . . . . .185

THE MARK OF THE BEAST ...... 208

THE RETURN OF IMRAY ...... 225

NAMGAY DOOLA ," . .... 240

THE LANG MEN o' LARUT . . . . . .254

BERTRAN AND BIMI ....... 259

HEINGELDER AND THE GERMAN FLAG .... 266

THE WANDERING JEW . . . . . 270

THROUGH THE FIRE . . . . . . .275

THE FINANCES OF THE GODS . 281

xvi CONTENTS

PAGE

THE AMIR'S HOMILY . . . . .287

JEWS IN SHUSHAN . . ; ... . . 292

THE LIMITATIONS OF PAMB£ SERANG . . . .297

LITTLE TOBRAH . , . . . . . . 303

MOTI GUJ — MUTINEER ;. , . . ^ . 307

BUBBLING WELL ROAD . . , . . y .316

THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT . . . . .' 321

GEORGIE PORGIE ....... 329

NABOTH ...... . 340

THE DREAM OF DUNCAN PARRENNESS . . . ..345

THE INCAKNATION OF KBISHNA
MULVANEY

Wohl auf, my bully cavaliers

We ride to church to-day,
The man that hasn't got a horse

Must steal one straight away.

Be reverent, men, remember

This is a Gottes haus.
Du, Conrad, cut along der aisle

And schenck der whiskey aus.

Hans Breitmanris Ride to Church.

ONCE upon a time, very far from England, there lived
three men who loved each other so greatly that neither
man nor woman could come between them. They were
in no sense refined, nor to be admitted to the outer-
door mats of decent folk, because they happened to be
private soldiers in Her Majesty's Army ; and private
soldiers of our service have small time for self-culture.
Their duty is to keep themselves and their accoutre
ments specklessly clean, to refrain from getting drunk
more often than is necessary, to obey their superiors, and
to pray for a war. All these things my friends accom
plished ; and of their own motion threw in some fighting-
work for which the Army Eegulations did not call.
Their fate sent them to serve in India, which is not
IE B

2 LIFE'S HANDICAP

a golden country, though poets have sung otherwise.
There men die with great swiftness, and those who live
suffer many and curious things. I do not think that
my friends concerned themselves much with the social or
political aspects of the East. They attended a not un
important war on the northern frontier, another one on
our western boundary, and a third in Upper Burma.
Then their regiment sat still to recruit, and the boundless
monotony of cantonment life was their portion. They
were drilled morning and evening on the same dusty
parade-ground. They wandered up and down the same
stretch of dusty white road, attended the same church
and the same grog-shop, and slept in the same lime-
washed barn of a barrack for two long years. There
was Mulvaney, the father in the craft, who had served
with various regiments from Bermuda to Halifax, old
in war, scarred, reckless, resourceful, and in his pious
hours an unequalled soldier. To him turned for help
and comfort six and a half feet of slow-moving, heavy-
footed Yorkshireman, born on the wolds, bred in the
dales, and educated chiefly among the carriers' carts at
the back of York railway-station. His name was Lea-
royd, and his chief virtue an unmitigated patience which
helped him to win fights. How Ortheris, a fox-terrier
of a Cockney, ever came to be one of the trio, is a mystery
which even to-day I cannot explain. ' There was always
three av us,' Mulvaney used to say. ' An' by the grace
av God, so long as our service lasts, three av us they'll
always be. 'Tis betther so.'

They desired no companionship beyond their own,
and it was evil for any man of the regiment who at
tempted dispute with them. Physical argument was out
of the question as regarded Mulvaney and the Yorkshire-
man ; and assault on Ortheris meant a combined attack

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 3

from these twain — a business which no five men were
anxious to have on their hands. Therefore they flourished,
sharing their drinks, their tobacco, and their money ;
good luck and evil ; battle and the chances of death ;
life and the chances of happiness from Calicut in southern,
to Peshawur in northern India.

Through no merit of my own it was my good fortune
to be in a measure admitted to their friendship — frankly
by Mulvaney from the beginning, sullenly and with re
luctance by Learoyd, and suspiciously by Ortheris, who
held to it that no man not in the Army could fraternise
with a red-coat. ' Like to like/ said he. ' I'm a
bloomin' sodger — he's a bloomin' civilian. 'Taint natural
— that's all.'

But that was not all. They thawed progressively,
and in the thawing told me more of their lives and
adventures than I am ever likely to write.

Omitting all else, this tale begins with the Lamentable
Thirst that was at the beginning of First Causes. Never
was such a thirst — Mulvaney told me so. They kicked
against their compulsory virtue, but the attempt was
only successful in the case of Ortheris. He, whose
talents . were many, went forth into the highways and
stole a dog from a ' civilian ' — videlicet, some one, he
knew not who, not in the Army. Now that civilian was
but newly connected by marriage with the colonel of the
regiment, and outcry was made from quarters least
anticipated by Ortheris, and, in the end, he was forced,
lest a worse thing should happen, to dispose at ridicu
lously unremunerative rates of as promising a small
terrier as ever graced one end of a leading string. The
purchase-money was barely sufficient for one small out
break which led him to the guard -room. He escaped,
however, with nothing worse than a severe reprimand,

4 LIFE S HANDICAP

and a few hours of punishment drill. Not for nothing
had he acquired the reputation of being ' the best soldier
of his inches ' in the regiment. Mulvaney had taught
personal cleanliness and efficiency as the first articles
of his companions' creed. ' A dhirty man/ he was used
to say, in the speech of his kind, ' goes to Clink for a
weakness in the knees, an' is coort-martialled for a pair
av socks missin' ; but a clane man, such as is an orna
ment to his service — a man whose buttons are gold,
whose coat is wax upon him, an' whose 'coutrements are
widout a speck — that man may, spakin' in reason, do
fwhat he likes an' dhrink from day to divil. That's the
pride av bein' dacint.'

We sat together, upon a day, in the shade of a ravine
far from the barracks, where a watercourse used to run
in rainy weather. Behind us was the scrub jungle, in
which jackals, peacocks, the gray wolves of the North-
Western Provinces, and occasionally a tiger estrayed
from Central India, were supposed to dwell. In front
lay the cantonment, glaring white under a glaring sun ;
and on either side ran the broad road that led to Delhi.

It was the scrub that suggested to my mind the
wisdom of Mulvaney taking a day's leave and going upon
a shooting-tour. The peacock is a holy bird throughout
India, and he who slays one is in danger of being mobbed
by the nearest villagers ; but on the last occasion that
Mulvaney had gone forth, he had contrived, without in
the least offending local religious susceptibilities, to return
with six beautiful peacock skins which he sold to profit.
It seemed just possible then

1 But fwhat manner av use is ut to me goin' out
widout a dhrink ? The ground's powdher-dhry under
foot, an' ut gets unto the throat fit to kill,' wailed
Mulvaney, looking at me reproachfully. ' An' a peacock

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 5

is not a bird you can catch the tail av onless ye run.
Can a in an run on wather — an' jungle- wather too ? '

Ortheris had considered the question in all its bearings.
He spoke, chewing his pipe-stem meditatively the while :

1 Go forth, return in glory,
To Clusium's royal 'ome :
An' round these bloomin' temples ;ang
The bloomin' shields o' Home.

You better go. You ain't like to shoot yourself — not
while there's a chanst of liquor. Me an* Learoyd '11 stay
at 'ome an' keep shop — 'case o' any thin' turnin' up. But
you go out with a gas-pipe gun an' ketch the little pea-
cockses or somethin'. You kin get one day's leave easy
as winkin'. Go along an' get it, an' get peacockses or
somethin'/

' Jock,' said Mulvaney, turning to Learoyd, who was
half asleep under the shadow of the bank. He roused
slowly.

'Sitha, Mulvaaney, go,' said he.

And Mulvaney went ; cursing his allies with Irish
fluency and barrack-room point.

' Take note,' said he, when he had won his holiday,
and appeared dressed in his roughest clothes with the
only other regimental fowling-piece in his hand. ' Take
note, Jock, an' you Orth'ris, I am goin'^n the face av
my own will — all for to please you. I misdoubt any-
thin' will come av permiscuous huntin' afther peacockses
in a desolit Ian' ; an' I know that I will lie down an' die
wid thirrrst. Me catch peacockses for you, ye lazy scutts
—an' be sacrificed by the peasanthry — Ugh ! '

He waved a huge paw and went away.

At twilight, long before the appointed hour, he re
turned empty-handed, much begrimed with dirt.

' Peacockses ? ' queried Ortheris from the safe rest

6 LIFE S HANDICAP

of a barrack-room table whereon he was smoking cross-
legged, Learoyd fast asleep on a bench.

' Jock/ said Mulvaney without answering, as he stirred
up the sleeper. ' Jock, can ye fight ? Will ye fight ? '

Very slowly the meaning of the words communicated
itself to the half-roused man. He understood — and again
— what might these things mean ? Mulvaney was
shaking him savagely. Meantime the men in the room
howled with delight. There was war in the confederacy
at last — war and the breaking of bonds.

Barrack -room etiquette is stringent. On the direct
challenge must follow the direct reply. This is more
binding than the ties of tried friendship. Once again
Mulvaney repeated the question. Learoyd answered by
the only means in his power, and so swiftly that the
Irishman had barely time to avoid the blow. The
laughter around increased. Learoyd looked bewilderedly
at his friend — himself as greatly bewildered. Ortheris
dropped from the table because his world was falling.

' Come outside,' said Mulvaney, and as the occupants
of the barrack-room prepared joyously to follow, he turned
and said furiously, ' There will be no fight this night —
onless any wan av you is wishful to assist. The man
that does, follows on/

No man moved. The three passed out into the moon
light, Learoyd fumbling with the buttons of his coat.
The parade-ground was deserted except for the scurrying
jackals. Mulvaney's impetuous rush carried his com
panions far into the open ere Learoyd attempted to turn
round and continue the discussion.

'Be still now. 'Twas my fault for beginnin' things
in the middle av an end, Jock. I should ha' comminst
wid an explanation ; but Jock, dear, on your sowl are
ye fit, think you, for the finest fight that iver was —

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 7

betther than fightin' me ? Considher before ye
answer.'

More than ever puzzled, Learoyd turned round two or
three times, felt an arm, kicked tentatively, and answered,
' Ah'm fit.' He was accustomed to fight blindly at the
bidding of the superior mind.

They sat them down, the men looking on from afar,
and Mulvaney untangled himself in mighty words.

' Followin' your fools' scheme I wint out into the
thrackless desert beyond the barricks. An' there I met
a pious Hindu dhriving a bullock-kyart. I tuk ut for
granted he wud be delighted for to convoy me a piece,
an' I jumped in '

' You long, lazy, black -haired swine,' drawled Ortheris,
who would have done the same thing under similar
circumstances.

' 'Twas the height av policy. That naygur-man dhruv
miles an' miles — as far as the new railway line they're
buildin' now back av the Tavi river. " 'Tis a kyart for
dhirt only," says he now an' again timoreously, to get me
out av ut. " Dhirt I am," sez I, " an' the dhryest that you
iver kyarted. Dhrive on, me son, an' glory be wid you."
At that I wint to slape, an' took no heed till he pulled
up on the embankmint av the line where the coolies were
pilin' mud. There was a matther av two thousand coolies
on that line — you remimber that. Prisintly a bell rang,
an' they throops off to a big pay-shed. "Where's the
white man in charge ? " sez I to my kyart-dhriver. " In
the shed," sez he, " engaged on a riffle." — " A fwhat ? "
sez I. " Eiffle," sez he. " You take ticket. He take
money. You get nothinV — " Oho ! " sez I, " that's fwhat
the shuperior an' cultivated man calls a raffle, me
misbeguided child av darkness an' sin. Lead on to that
raffle, though fwhat the mischief 'tis doin' so far away

8 LIFE'S HANDICAP

from uts home — which is the charity-bazaar at Christmas,
an' the colonel's wife grinnin' behind the tea-table — is
more than I know." Wid that I wint to the shed an'
found 'twas pay-day among the coolies. Their wages
was on a table forninst a big, fine, red buck av a man —
sivun fut high, four fut wide, an' three fut thick, wid a
fist on him like a corn-sack. He was payin' the coolies
fair an' easy, but he wud ask each man if he wud raffle
that month, an' each man sez, " Yes," av course. Thin he
wud deduct from their wages accordin'. Whin all was
paid, he filled an ould cigar -box full av gun -wads an'
scatthered ut among the coolies. They did not take much
joy av that perfor mince, an' small wondher. A man close
to me picks up a black gun-wad an' sings out, " I have
ut." — " Good may ut do you," sez I. The coolie wint
forward to this big, fine, red man, who threw a cloth off
av the most sumpshus, jooled, enamelled an' variously
bedivilled sedan-chair I iver saw/

' Sedan-chair ! Put your 'ead in a bag. That was a
palanquin. Don't yer know a palanquin when you see
it ? ' said Ortheris with great scorn.

' I chuse to call ut sedan-chair, an' chair ut shall be,
little man,' continued the Irishman. ' 'Twas a most amazin'
chair — all lined wid pink silk an' fitted wid red silk
curtains. " Here ut is," sez the red man. " Here ut is,"
sez the coolie, an' he grinned weakly-ways. " Is ut any
use to you ? " sez the red man. " No," sez the coolie ;
" I'd like to make a presint av ut to you." — " I am gra
ciously pleased to accept that same," sez the red man ; an'
at that all the coolies cried aloud in fwhat was mint for
cheerful notes, an' wint back to their diggin', lavin' me
alone in the shed. The red man saw me, an' his face
grew blue on his big, fat neck. " Fwhat d'you want
here?" sez he. " Standin'-room an' no more," sez I,

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 9

" onless it may be fwhat ye niver had, an' that's manners,
ye rafflin' ruffian," for I was not goin' to have the Service
throd upon. " Out of this," sez he. " I'm in charge av
this section av construction." — " I'm in charge av mesilf,"
sez I, "an' it's like I will stay a while. D'ye raffle
much in these parts ? " — " F what's that to you ? " sez he.
" Nothin'," sez I, " but a great dale to you, for begad I'm
thinkin' you get the full half av your revenue from that
sedan-chair. Is ut always raffled so ? " I sez, an' wid that
I wint to a coolie to ask questions. Bhoys, that man's name
is Dearsley, an' he's been rafflin' that ould sedan-chair
monthly this matther av nine months. Ivry coolie on the
section takes a ticket — or he gives 'em the go — wanst
a month on pay-day. Ivry coolie that wins ut gives ut
back to him, for 'tis too big to carry away, an' he'd sack
the man that thried to sell ut. That Dearsley has been
makin' the rowlin' wealth av Koshus by nefarious rafflin'.
Think av the burnin' shame to the sufferin' coolie-man
that the army in Injia are bound to protect an' nourish
in their bosoms ! Two thousand coolies defrauded wanst
a month ! '

' Dom t' coolies. Has't gotten t' cheer, man ? ' said
Learoyd.

* Hould on. Havin' onearthed this amazin' an' stupen-
jus fraud committed by the man Dearsley, I hild a council
av war ; he thryin' all the time to sejuce me into a
fight wid opprobrious language. That sedan-chair niver
belonged by right to any foreman av coolies. 'Tis a king's
chair or a quane's. There's gold on ut an' silk an' all
manner av trapesemints. Bhoys, 'tis not for me to counte
nance any sort av wrong-doin' — me bein' the ould man

—but anyway he has had ut nine months, an' he dare

not make throuble av ut was taken from him. Five
miles away, or ut may be six

10 LIFE'S HANDICAP

There was a long pause, and the jackals howled merrily.
Learoyd bared one arm, and contemplated it in the moon
light. Then he nodded partly to himself and partly to
his friends. Ortheris wriggled with suppressed emotion.

* I thought ye wud see the reasonableness av ut,' said
Mulvaney. 'I made bould to say as much to the man
before. He was for a direct front attack — fut, horse, an'

guns an' all for nothin', seein' that I had no thran-

sport to convey the machine away. " I will not argue
wid you," sez I, "this day, but subsequintly, Mister Dearsley,
me rafflin' jool, we talk ut out lengthways. 'Tis no good
policy to swindle the naygur av his hard-earned emolu-
mints, an' by presint informashin' " — 'twas the kyart man
that tould me — " ye've been perpethrating that same for
nine months. But I'm a just man," sez I, " an' overlookin'
the presumpshin that yondher settee wid the gilt top was
not come by honust " — at that he turned sky-green, so I
knew things was more thrue than tellable — " not come
by honust, I'm willin' to compound the felony for this
month's winnin's."

* Ah ! Ho ! ' from Learoyd and Ortheris.

' That man Dearsley's rushin' on his fate,' continued
Mulvaney, solemnly wagging his head. ' All Hell had no
name bad enough for me that tide. Faith, he called me
a robber ! Me ! that was savin' him from continuin' in
his evil ways widout a remonstrince — an' to a man av
conscience a remonstrince may change the chune av his
life. " 'Tis not for me to argue," sez I, " fwhatever ye are,
Mister Dearsley, but, by my hand, I'll take away the
temptation for you that lies in that sedan-chair." — " You
will have to fight me for ut," sez he, " for well I know you
will never dare make report to any one."- — " Fight I will,"
sez I, " but not this day, for I'm rejuced for want av
nourishmint." — " Ye're an ould bould hand," sez he, sizin'

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 11

me up an' down ; " an' a jool av a fight we will have. Eat
now an' dhrink, an' go your way." Wid that he gave
me some hump an' whisky — good whisky — an' we talked
av this an' that the while. " It goes hard on me now,"
sez I, wipin' my mouth, "to confiscate that piece av
furniture, but justice is justice." — " Ye've not got ut yet,"
sez he ; " there's the fight between."—" There is," sez I,
" an' a good fight. Ye shall have the pick av the best
quality in my rigimint for the dinner you have given this
clay." Thin I came hot-foot to you two. Hould your
tongue, the both. 'Tis this way. To-morrow we three
will go there an' he shall have his pick betune me an'
Jock. Jock's a deceivin' fighter, for he is all fat to the
eye, an' he moves slow. Now I'm all beef to the look,
an' I move quick. By my reckonin' the Dearsley man
won't take me ; so me an' Orth'ris 11 see fair play. Jock,
I tell you, 'twill be big fightin' — whipped, wid the cream
above the jam. Afther the business 'twill take a good
three av us — Jock '11 be very hurt — to haul away that
sedan-chair.'

' Palanquin.' This from Ortheris.

' Fwhatever ut is, we must have ut. Tis the only
sellin' piece av property widin reach that we can get so
cheap. An' fwhat's a fight afther all ? He has robbed
the naygur-man, dishonust. We rob him honust for the
sake av the whisky he gave me.'

'But wot'll we do with the bloomin' article when we've
got it ? Them palanquins are as big as 'ouses, an'
uncommon 'ard to sell, as McCleary said when ye stole
the sentry-box from the Curragh.'

' Who's goin' to do t' fightin' ? ' said Learoyd, and
Ortheris subsided. The three returned to barracks with
out a word. Mulvaney's last argument clinched the
matter. This palanquin was property, vendible and to be

12 LIFE'S HANDICAP

attained in the simplest and least embarrassing fashion.
It would eventually become beer. Great was Mulvaney.

Next afternoon a procession of three formed itself and
disappeared into the scrub in the direction of the new
railway line. Learoyd alone was without care, for Mul
vaney dived darkly into the future, and little Ortheris
feared the unknown. "What befell at that interview in
the lonely pay-shed by the side of the half-built embank
ment, only a few hundred coolies know, and their tale is
a confusing one, running thus —

' We were at work. Three men in red coats came.
They saw the Sahib — Dearsley Sahib. They made oration;
and noticeably the small man among the red - coats.
Dearsley Sahib also made oration, and used many very
strong words. Upon this talk they departed together to
an open space, and there the fat man in the red coat
fought with Dearsley Sahib after the custom of white
men — with his hands, making no noise, and never at all
pulling Dearsley Sahib's hair. Such of us as were not
afraid beheld these things for just so long a time as a
man needs to cook the mid-day meal. The small man
in the red coat had possessed himself of Dearsley Sahib's
watch. No, he did not steal that watch. He held it in
his hand, and at certain seasons made outcry, and the
twain ceased their combat, which was like the combat of
young bulls in spring. Both men were soon all red, but
Dearsley Sahib was much more red than the other.
Seeing this, and fearing for his life — because we greatly
loved him — some fifty of us made shift to rush upon ih&
red-coats. But a certain man — very black as to the hair,
and in no way to be confused with the small man, or the
fat man who fought — that man, we affirm, ran upon us,
and of us he embraced some ten or fifty in both arms,
and beat our heads together, so that our livers turned to

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 13

water, and we ran away. It is not good to interfere in the
fightings of white men. After that Dearsley Sahib fell
and did not rise, these men jumped upon his stomach
and despoiled him of all his money, and attempted to
fire the pay-shed, and departed. Is it true that Dearsley
Sahib makes no complaint of these latter things having
been done ? We were senseless with fear, and do not
at all remember. There was no palanquin near the pay-
shed. What do we know about palanquins ? Is it true
that Dearsley Sahib does not return to this place, on
account of his sickness, for ten days ? This is the fault
of those bad men in the red coats, who should be severely
punished ; for Dearsley Sahib is both our father and
mother, and we love him much. Yet, if Dearsley Sahib
does not return to this place at all, we will speak the truth.
There was a palanquin, for the up-keep of which we were
forced to pay nine-tenths of our monthly wage. On such
mulctings Dearsley Sahib allowed us to make obeisance
to him before the palanquin. What could we do ? We
were poor men. He took a full half of our wages.
Will the Government repay us those moneys ? Those
three men in red coats bore the palanquin upon their
shoulders and departed. All the money that Dearsley
Sahib had taken from us was in the cushions of that
palanquin. Therefore they stole it. Thousands of rupees
were there — all our money. It was our bank-box, to fill
which we cheerfully contributed to Dearsley Sahib three-
sevenths of our monthly wage. Why does the white
man look upon us with the eye of disfavour ? Before
God, there was a palanquin, and now there is no palan
quin ; and if they send the police here to make inquisition,
we can only say that there never has been any palanquin.
Why should a palanquin be near these works ? We are
poor men, and we know nothing.'

14 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Such is the simplest version of the simplest story
connected with the descent upon Dearsley. From the
lips of the coolies I received it. Dearsley himself was in
no condition to say anything, and Mulvaney preserved a
massive silence, broken only by the occasional licking of
the lips. He had seen a fight so gorgeous that even his
power of speech was taken from him. I respected that
reserve until, three days after the affair, I discovered in
a disused stable in my quarters a palanquin of unchas-
tened splendour — evidently in past days the litter of a
queen. The pole whereby it swung between the shoulders
of the bearers was rich with the painted papier-mack^
of Cashmere. The shoulder-pads were of yellow silk.
The panels of the litter itself were ablaze with the loves
of all the gods and goddesses of the Hindu Pantheon —
lacquer on cedar. The cedar sliding doors were fitted
with hasps of translucent Jaipur enamel and ran in
grooves shod with silver. The cushions were of brocaded
Delhi silk, and the curtains which once hid any glimpse
of the beauty of the king's palace were stiff with gold.
Closer investigation showed that the entire fabric was
everywhere rubbed and discoloured by time and wear;
but even thus it was sufficiently gorgeous to deserve
housing on the threshold of a royal zenana. I found no
fault with it, except that it was in my stable. Then,
trying to lift it by the silver-shod shoulder-pole, I laughed.
The road from Dearsley's pay-shed to the cantonment was
a narrow and uneven one, and, traversed by three very
inexperienced palanquin-bearers, one of whom was sorely
battered about the head, must have been a path of torment.
Still I did not quite recognise the right of the three
musketeers to turn me into a ' fence ' for stolen
property.

' I'm askin' you to warehouse ut,' said Mulvaney when

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 15

he was brought to consider the question. ' There's no steal
in ut. Dearsley tould us we cud have ut if we fought.
Jock fought — an', oh, sorr, when the throuble was at uts
finest an' Jock was bleedin' like a stuck pig, an' little
Orth'ris was shquealin' on one leg chewin' big bites out
av Dearsley's watch, I wud ha' given my place at the
fight to have had you see wan round. He tuk Jock, as I
suspicioned he would, an' Jock was deceptive. Nine roun's

they were even matched, an' at the tenth About

that palanquin now. There's not the least throuble in
the world, or we wud not ha' brought ut here. You will
ondherstand that the Queen — God bless her ! — does not
reckon for a privit soldier to kape elephints an' palanquins
an' sich in barricks. Afther we had dhragged ut down
from Dearsley's through that cruel scrub that near broke
Orth'ris's heart, we set ut in the ravine for a night ; an'
a thief av a porcupine an' a civet-cat av a jackal roosted
in ut, as well we knew in the mornin'. I put ut to you,
sorr, is an elegint palanquin, fit for the princess, the
natural abidin' place av all the vermin in cantonmints ?
We brought ut to you, afther dhark, and put ut in
your shtable. Do not let your conscience prick. Think
av the rejoicin' men in the pay-shed yonder — lookin' at
Dearsley wid his head tied up in a towel — an' well
knowiii' that they can dhraw their pay ivry month
widout stoppages for riffles. Indirectly, sorr, you have
rescued from an onprincipled son av a night-hawk the
peasanthry av a numerous village. An' besides, will I
let that sedan-chair rot on our hands? Not I. 'Tis
not every day a piece av pure joolry comes into the market.
There's not a king widin these forty miles' — he waved
his hand round the dusty horizon — ' not a king wud not
be glad to buy ut. , Some day meself, whin I have leisure,
I'll take ut up along the road an' dishpose av ut.'

16 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' How ? ' said I, for I knew the man was capable of
anything.

' Get into ut, av coorse, and keep wan eye open
through the curtains. Whin I see a likely man av the
native persuasion, I will descind blushin' from my canopy
and say, " Buy a palanquin, ye black scutt ? " I will
have to hire four men to carry me first, though ; and that's
impossible till next pay-day/

Curiously enough, Learoyd, who had fought for the
prize, and in the winning secured the highest pleasure
life had to offer him, was altogether disposed to under
value it, while Ortheris openly said it would be better to
break the thing up. Dearsley, he argued, might be a
many-sided man, capable, despite his magnificent fighting
qualities, of setting in motion the machinery of the civil
law — a thing much abhorred by the soldier. Under any
circumstances their fun had come and passed ; the next
pay-day was close at hand, when there would be beer for
all. Wherefore longer conserve the painted palanquin ?

' A first-class rifle-shot an* a good little man av your
inches you are/ said Mulvaney. ' But you niver had
a head worth a soft-boiled egg. Tis me has to lie awake
av nights schamin' an' plottin' for the three av us.
Orth'ris, me son, 'tis no matther av a few gallons av beer
—no, nor twenty gallons — but tubs an' vats an' firkins
in that sedan-chair. Who ut was, an' what ut was, an'
how ut got there, we do not know ; but I know in my
bones that you an' me an' Jock wid his sprained thumb
will get a fortune thereby. Lave me alone, an' let me
think/

Meantime the palanquin stayed in my stall, the key
of which was in Mulvaney's hands.

Pay-day came, and with it beer. It was not in
experience to hope that Mulvaney, dried by four weeks'

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 17

drought, would avoid excess. Next morning he and the
palanquin had disappeared. He had taken the precaution
of getting three days' leave ' to see a friend on the
railway,' and the colonel, well knowing that the seasonal
outburst was near, and hoping it would spend its force
beyond the limits of his jurisdiction, cheerfully gave him
all he demanded. At this point Mulvaney's history, as
recorded in the mess-room, stopped.

Ortheris carried it not much further. 'No, 'e wasn't
drunk/ said the little man loyally, ' the liquor was no
more than feelin' its way round inside of 'im ; , but 'e
went an' filled that 'ole bloomin' palanquin with bottles
'fore 'e went off. E's gone an' 'ired six men to carry
'im, an' I 'ad to 'elp 'im into 'is nupshal couch, 'cause 'e
wouldn't 'ear reason. 'E's gone off in 'is shirt an' trousies,
swearin' tremenjus — gone down the road in the palanquin,
wavin' 'is legs out o' windy.'

' Yes,' said I, ' but where 1 '

'Now you arx me a question. 'E said 'e was goin'
to sell that palanquin, but from observations what
happened when I was stuffin' 'im through the door, I
fancy Vs gone to the new embankment to mock at Dearsley.
'Soon as Jock's off duty I'm goin' there to see if Vs
safe — not Mulvaney, but t'other man. My saints, but
I pity 'im as 'elps Terence out o' the palanquin when
Vs once fair drunk ! '

' He'll come back without harm,' I said.

' 'Corse 'e will. On'y question is, what'll 'e be doin'
on the road ? Killing Dearsley, like as not. 'E shouldn't
'a gone without Jock or me.'

Reinforced by Learoyd, Ortheris sought the foreman,
of the coolie-gang. Dearsley's head was still embellished
with towels. Mulvaney, drunk or sober, would have struck
no man in that condition, and Dearsley indignantly denied

c

18 LIFE'S HANDICAP

that he would have taken advantage- of the intoxicated
brave.

' I had my pick o' you two/ he explained to Learoyd,
' and you got my palanquin — not before I'd made my
profit on it. Why'd I do harm when everything's settled ?
Your man did come here — drunk as Davy's sow on a
frosty night — came a-purpose to mock me — stuck his
head out of the door an' called me a crucified hodman.
I made him drunker, an' sent him along. But I never
touched him.'

To these things Learoyd, slow to perceive the evidences
of sincerity, answered only, ' If owt comes to Mulvaaney
long o' you, I'll gripple you, clouts or no clouts on your
ugly head, an' I'll draw t' throat twistyways, man. See
there now.'

The embassy removed itself, and Dearsley, the battered,
laughed alone over his supper that evening.

Three days passed — a fourth and a fifth. The week
drew to a close and Mulvaney did not return. He, his
royal palanquin, and his six attendants, had vanished into
air. A very large and very tipsy soldier, his feet sticking
out of the litter of a reigning princess, is not a thing to
travel along the ways without comment. Yet no man of
all the country round had seen any such wonder. He
was, and he was not; and Learoyd suggested the immediate
smashment of Dearsley as a sacrifice to his ghost.
Ortheris insisted that all was well, and in the light of
past experience his hopes seemed reasonable.

' When Mulvaney goes up the road,' said he, ' 'e's
like to go a very long ways up, specially when 'e's so blue
drunk as 'e is now. But what gits me is 'is not bein'
'eard of pullin' wool off the niggers somewheres about.
That don't look good. The drink must ha' died out in
'im by this, unless 'e's broke a bank, an' then — Why

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 19

don't 'e come back ? 'E didn't ought to ha' gone off
without us.'

Even Ortheris's heart sank at the end of the seventh
day, for half the regiment were out scouring the country
side, and Learoyd had been forced to fight two men who
hinted openly that Mulvaney had deserted. To do him
justice, the colonel laughed at the notion, even when it
was put forward by his much-trusted adjutant.

'Mulvaney would as soon think of deserting as you
would,' said he. ' No ; he's either fallen into a mischief
among the villagers — and yet that isn't likely, for he'd
blarney himself out of the Pit ; or else he is engaged on
urgent private affairs — some stupendous devilment that
we shall hear of at mess after it has been the round of
the barrack-rooms. The worst of it is that I shall have
to give him twenty-eight days' confinement at least for
being absent without leave, just when I most want him to
lick the new batch of recruits into shape. I never knew
a man who could put a polish on young soldiers as
quickly as Mulvaney can. How does he do it ? '

' With blarney and the buckle-end of a belt, sir/ said
the adjutant. ' He is worth a couple of non-commissioned
officers when we are dealing with an Irish draft, and the
London lads seem to adore him. The worst of it is that
if he goes to the cells the other two are neither to hold
nor to bind till he comes out again. I believe Ortheris
preaches mutiny on those occasions, and I know that the
mere presence of Learoyd mourning for Mulvaney kills
all the cheerfulness of his room. The sergeants tell me that
he allows no man to laugh when he feels unhappy. They
are a queer gang.'

' For all that, I wish we had a few more of them. I
like a well-conducted regiment, but these pasty-faced,
shifty- eyed, mealy-mouthed young slouchers from the

20 LIFE'S HANDICAP

depot worry me sometimes with their offensive virtue.
They don't seem to have backbone enough to do any
thing but play cards and prowl round the married
quarters. I believe I'd forgive that old villain on
the spot if he turned up with any sort of explanation
that I could in decency accept.'

'Not likely to be much difficulty about that, sir,'
said the adjutant. ' Mulvaney's explanations are only
one degree less wonderful than his performances.
They say that when he was in the Black Tyrone,
before he came to us, he was discovered on the banks
of the Liffey trying to sell his colonel's charger to a
Donegal dealer as a perfect lady's hack. Shackbolt
commanded the Tyrone then/

' Shackbolt must have had apoplexy at the thought
of his ramping war-horses answering to that description.
He used to buy unbacked devils, and tame them on
some pet theory of starvation. What did Mulvaney
say?'

'That he was a member of the Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, anxious to " sell
the poor baste where he would get something to fill
out his dimples." Shackbolt laughed, but I fancy
that was why Mulvaney exchanged to ours.'

' I wish he were back,' said the colonel ; ' for I like
him and believe he likes me.'

That evening, to cheer our souls, Learoyd, Ortheris,
and I went into the waste to smoke out a porcupine.
All the dogs attended, but even their clamour — and
they began to discuss the shortcomings of porcupines
before they left cantonments — could not take us out
of ourselves. A large, low moon turned the tops of
the plume -grass to silver, and the stunted camelthorn
bushes and sour tamarisks into the likenesses of trooping

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 21

devils. The smell of the sun had not left the earth,
and little aimless winds blowing across the rose-gardens
to the southward brought the scent of dried roses and
water. Our fire once started, and the dogs craftily
disposed to wait the dash of the porcupine, we climbed
to the top of a rain-scarred hillock of earth, and looked
across the scrub seamed with cattle paths, white with
the long grass, and dotted with spots of level pond-
bottom, where the snipe would gather in winter.

' This/ said Ortheris, with a sigh, as he took in the
unkempt desolation of it all, ' this is sanguinary. This
is unusually sanguinary. Sort o' mad country. Like a
grate when the fire's put out by the sun.' He shaded
his eyes against the moonlight. 'An' there's a loony
dancin' in the middle of it all. Quite right. I'd dance
too if I wasn't so downheart.'

There pranced a Portent in the face of the moon — a
huge and ragged spirit of the waste, that flapped its wings
from afar. It had risen out of the earth ; it was coining
towards us, and its 'outline was never twice the same.
The toga, table-cloth, or dressing-gown, whatever the
creature wore, took a hundred shapes. Once it stopped
on a neighbouring mound and flung all its legs and arms
to the winds.

' My, but that scarecrow 'as got 'em bad ! ' said
Ortheris. ' Seems like if 'e comes any furder we'll 'ave
to argify with 'im.'

Learoyd raised himself from the dirt as a bull clears
his flanks of the wallow. And as a bull bellows, so he,
after a short minute at gaze, gave tongue to the stars.

'MULVAANEY! MULVAANEY ! A-llOO ! '

Oh then it was that we yelled, and the figure dipped
into the hollow, till, with a crash of rending grass, the
lost one strode up to the light of the fire, and disappeared

22 LIFE'S HANDICAP

to the waist in a wave of joyous dogs ! Then Learoyd
and Ortheris gave greeting, bass and falsetto together,
both swallowing a lump in the throat.

' You damned fool ! ' said they, and severally pounded
him with their fists.

' Go easy ! ' he answered ; wrapping a huge arm round
each. ' I would have you to know that I am a god, to be
treated as such — tho', by my faith, I fancy I've got to go
to the guard-room just like a privit soldier.'

The latter part of the sentence destroyed the sus
picions raised by the former. Any one would have
been justified in regarding Mulvaney as mad. He was
hatless and shoeless, and his shirt and trousers were
dropping off him. But he wore one wondrous garment
— a gigantic cloak that fell from collar-bone to heel — of
pale pink silk, wrought all over in cunningest needlework
of hands long since dead, with the loves of the Hindu
gods. The monstrous figures leaped in and out of the
light of the fire as he settled the folds round him.

Ortheris handled the stuff respectfully for a moment
while I was trying to remember where I had seen it
before. Then he screamed, 'What 'ave you done with
the palanquin ? You're wearin' the linin'.'

' I am,' said the Irishman, ' an' by the same token
the 'broidery is scrapin' my hide off. I've lived in this
sumpshus counterpane for four days. Me son, I begin to
ondherstand why the naygur is no use. Widout me boots,
an' me trousies like an openwork stocking on a gyurl's leg
at a dance, I begin to feel like a naygur-man — all fearful
an* timoreous. Give me a pipe an' I'll tell on.'

He lit a pipe, resumed his grip of his two friends, and
rocked to and fro in a gale of laughter.

' Mulvaney,' said Ortheris sternly, ' 'taint no time for
laughin'. You've given Jock an' me more trouble than

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 23

you're worth. You 'ave been absent without leave an'
you'll go into cells for that ; an' you 'ave come back
disgustin'ly dressed an' most improper in the linin' o'
that bloomm' palanquin. Instid of which you laugh.
An' we thought you was dead all the time.'

( Bhoys,' said the culprit, still shaking gently, ' whin
I've done my tale you may cry if you like, an' little
Orth'ris here can thrample my inside out. Ha' done
an' listen. My performinces have been stupenjus : my
luck has been the blessed luck av the British Army—
an' there's no betther than that. I went out dhrunk
an' dhrinkin' in the palanquin, and I have come back a
pink god. Did any of you go to Dearsley afther my time
was up ? He was at the bottom of ut all.'

' Ah said so,' murmured Learoyd. ' To-morrow ah'll
smash t' face in upon his heead.'

' Ye will not. Dearsley's a jool av a man. Afther
Ortheris had put me into the palanquin an' the six
bearer-men were gruntin' down the road, I tuk thought
to mock. Dearsley for that fight. So I tould thim, " Go
to the embankmint," and there, bein' most amazin' full, I
shtuck my head out av the concern an' passed compliments
wid Dearsley. I must ha' miscalled him outrageous, for
whin I am that way the power av the tongue comes on
me. I can bare remimber tellin' him that his mouth
opened endways like the mouth av a skate, which was
thrue afther Learoyd had handled ut ; an' I clear remim
ber his takin' no manner nor matter av offence, but givin'
me a big dhrink of beer. 'Twas the beer did the thrick,
for I crawled back into the palanquin, steppin' on me
right ear wid me left foot, an' thin I slept like the dead.
Wanst I half-roused, an' begad the noise in my head was
tremenjus — roarin' and rattlin' an' poimdin', such as was
quite new to me. " Mother av Mercy," thinks I, " phwat

24 LIFE'S HANDICAP

a concertina I will have on my shoulders whin I wake ! "
An' wid that I curls mysilf up to sleep before ut should
get hould on me. Bhoys, that noise was not dhrink,
'twas the rattle av a thrain ! '

There followed an impressive pause.

' Yes, he had put me on a thrain — put me, palanquin
an* all, an' six black assassins av his own coolies that was
in his nefarious confidence, on the flat a v a ballast-
thruck, and we were rowlin' an' bowlin' along to Benares.
Glory be that I did not wake up thin an' introjuce mysilf
to the coolies. As I was sayin', I slept for the betther
part av a day an' a night. But remimber you, that that
man Dearsley had packed me off on wan av his material-
thrains to Benares, all for to make me overstay my leave
an' get me into the cells.'

The explanation was an eminently rational one.
Benares lay at least ten hours by rail from the canton
ments, and nothing in the world could have saved
Mulvaney from arrest as a deserter had he appeared there
in the apparel of his orgies. Dearsley had not for
gotten to take revenge. Learoyd, drawing back a little,
began to place soft blows over selected portions of Mul-
vaney's body. His thoughts were away on the embank
ment, and they meditated evil for Dearsley. Mulvaney
continued —

' Whin I was full awake the palanquin was set down
in a street, I suspicioned, for I cud hear people passin' an'
talkin'. But I knew well I was far from home. There
is a queer smell upon our cantonments — a smell av dried
earth and brick-kilns wid whiffs av cavalry stable-
litter. This place smelt marigold flowers an' bad water,
an' wanst somethin' alive came an' blew heavy with his
muzzle at the chink av the shutter. " It's in a village
I am," thinks I to mysilf, " an' the parochial buffalo is

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 25

investigatin' the palanquin." But anyways I had no
desire to move. Only lie still whin you're in foreign
parts an' the standin' luck av the British Army will
carry ye through. That is an epigram. I made
ut.

' Thin a lot av whishperin' divils surrounded the
palanquin. " Take ut up," sez wan man. " But who'll
pay us ? " sez another. " The Maharanee's minister, av
coorse," sez the man. " Oho ! " sez I to mysilf, " I'm a
quane in me own right, wid a minister to pay me expenses.
I'll be an emperor if I lie still long enough ; but this
is no village I've found." I lay quiet, but I gummed
me right eye to a crack av the shutters, an I saw that
the whole street was crammed wid palanquins an' horses,
an' a sprinklin' av naked priests all yellow powder an'
tigers' tails. But I may tell you, Orth'ris, an' you,
Learoyd, that av all the palanquins ours was the most
imperial an' magnificent. Now a palanquin means a
native lady all the world ovjer, except whin a soldier av
the Quane happens to be takin' a ride. - " Women an'
priests ! " sez I. " Your father's son is in the right pew
this time, Terence. There will be proceedin's." Six black
divils in pink muslin tuk up the palanquin, an' oh ! but
the rowlin' an' the rockin' made me sick. Thin we got
fair jammed among the palanquins — not more than fifty
av them — an' we grated an' bumped like Queenstown
potato-smacks in a runnin' tide. I cud hear the women
gigglin' and squirkin' in their palanquins, but mine was
the royal equipage. They made way for ut, an', begad,
the pink muslin men o' mine were howlin', " Koom for
the Maharanee av Grokral-Seetarun." Do you know aught
av the lady, sorr ? '

' Yes,' said I. ' She is a very estimable old queen
of the Central Indian States, and they say she is fat.

26 LIFE'S HANDICAP

How on earth could she go to Benares without all the
city knowing her palanquin ? '

' 'Twas the eternal foolishness av the naygur-man.
They saw the palanquin lying loneful an' forlornsome,
an' the beauty av ut, after Dearsley's men had dhropped
ut and gone away, an' they gave ut the best name that
occurred to thim. Quite right too. For aught we know
the ould lady was thravellin' incog — like me. I'm glad
to hear she's fat. I was no light weight mysilf, an' my
men were mortial anxious to dhrop me under a great big
archway promiscuously ornamented wid the most improper
carvin's an' cuttin's I iver saw. Begad ! they made me
blush — like a — like a Maharanee.'

' The temple of Prithi-Devi,' I murmured, remember
ing the monstrous horrors of that sculptured archway at
Benares.

' Pretty Devilskins, savin' your presence, sorr ! There
was nothin' pretty about ut, except me. 'Twas all half
dhark, an' whin the coolies left they shut a big black
gate behind av us, an' half a company av fat yellow
priests began pully-haulin' the palanquins into a dharker
place yet — a big stone hall full av pillars, an' gods, an'
incense, an* all manner av similar thruck. The gate dis
concerted me, for I perceived I wud have to go forward
to get out, my retreat bein' cut off. By the same token
a good priest makes a bad palanquin -coolie. Begad !
they nearly turned me inside out draggin' the palanquin
to the temple. Now the disposishin av the forces inside
was this way. The Maharanee av Gokral-Seetarun —
that was me — lay by the favour av Providence on the
far left flank behind the dhark av a pillar carved with
elephints' heads. The remainder av the palanquins was
in a big half circle facing in to the biggest, fattest, an'
most amazin' she-god that iver I dreamed av. Her head

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 27

ran up into the black above us, an' her feet stuck out
in the light av a little fire av melted butter that a
priest was feedin' out av a butter-dish. Thin a man
began to sing an' play on somethin' back in the dhark,
an' 'twas a queer song. Ut made my hair lift on the
back av my neck. Thin the doors av all the palanquins
slid back, an' the women bundled out. I saw what I'll
niver see again. 'Twas more glorious than thransforma-
tions at a pantomime, for they was in pink an' blue
an' silver an' red an' grass green, wid dimonds an'
imralds an' great red rubies all over thim. But that
was the least part av the glory. 0 bhoys, they were
more lovely than the like av any loveliness in hiven ; ay,
their little bare feet were better than the white hands av a
lord's lady, an' their mouths were like puckered roses, an'
their eyes were bigger an' dharker than the eyes av any
livin' women I've seen. Ye may laugh, but I'm speakin'
truth. I niver saw the like, an' niver I will again.'

' Seeing that in all probability you were watching the
wives and daughters of most of the kings of India, the
chances are that you won't,' I said, for it was dawning
on me that Mulvaney had stumbled upon a big Queens'
Praying at Benares.

' I niver will,' he said mournfully. ' That sight
doesn't come twist to any man. It made me ashamed
to watch. A fat priest knocked at my door. I didn't
think he'd have the insolince to disturb the Maharanee
av Gokral-Seetarun, so I lay still. "The old cow's
asleep," sez he to another. " Let her be," sez that.
" 'Twill be long before she has a calf ! " I might ha'
known before he spoke that all a woman prays for in
Injia — an' for matter o' that in England to — is childher.
That made me more sorry I'd come, me bein', as you well
know, a childless man.'

28 LIFE'S HANDICAP

He was silent for a moment, thinking of his little
son, dead many years ago.

' They prayed, an' the butter-fires blazed up an' the
incense turned everything blue, an' between that an' the
fires the women looked as tho' they were all ablaze an'
twinklin'. They took hold av the she-god's knees, they
cried out an' they threw themselves about, an' that
world-without-end-amen music was dhrivin' thim mad.
Mother av Hiven ! how they cried, an' the ould she-god
grinnin' above thim all so scornful ! The dhrink was
dyin' out in me fast, an' I was thinkin' harder than the
thoughts wud go through my head — thinkin' how to get
out, an' all manner of nonsense as well. The women
were rockin' in rows, their di'mond belts clickin', an' the
tears runnin' out betune their hands, an' the lights were
goin' lower an' dharker. Thin there was a blaze like
lightnin' from the roof, an' that showed me the inside
av the palanquin, an' at the end where my foot was,
stood the livin' spit an' image o' mysilf worked on the
linin'. This man here, ut was.'

He hunted in the folds of his pink cloak, ran a
hand under one, and thrust into the firelight a foot-
long embroidered presentment of the great god Krishna,
playing on a flute. The heavy jowl, the staring eye, and
the blue-black moustache of the god made up a far-off
resemblance to Mulvaney.

' The blaze was gone in a wink, but the whole schame
came to me thin. I believe I was mad too. I slid the
off- shutter open an' rowled out into the dhark behind
the elephint-head pillar, tucked up my trousies to my
knees, slipped off my boots an' tuk a general hould av
all the pink linin' av the palanquin. Glory be, ut ripped
out like a woman's dhriss when you tread on ut at a
sergeants' ball, an' a bottle came with ut. I tuk the

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 29

bottle an' the next minut I was out av the dhark av
the pillar, the pink linin' wrapped round me most grace
ful, the music thunderin' like kettledrums, an' a could
draft blowin' round my bare legs. By this hand that
did ut, I was Krishna tootlin' on the flute — the god
that the rig'mental chaplain talks about. A sweet sight
I must ha' looked. I knew my eyes were big, and my
face was wax-white, an' at the worst I must ha' looked
like a ghost. But they took me for the livin' god. The
music stopped, and the women were dead dumb an' I
crooked my legs like a shepherd on a china basin, an'
I did the ghost- waggle with my feet as I had done ut
at the rig'mental theatre many times, an' I slid acrost
the width av that temple in front av the she-god tootlin'
on the beer bottle.'

' Wot did you toot ? ' demanded Ortheris the prac
tical.

' Me ? Oh ! ' Mulvaney sprang up, suiting the action
to the word, and sliding gravely in front of us, a dilapi
dated but imposing deity in the half light. ' I sang^

* Only say

You'll be Mrs. Brallaghan.
Don't say nay,
Charmin' Judy Callaghan.

T didn't know me own voice when I sang. An' oh !
'twas pitiful to see the women. The darlin's were down
on their faces. Whin I passed the last wan I cud see
her poor little fingers workin' one in another as if she
wanted to touch my feet. So I dhrew the tail av this
pink overcoat over her head for the greater honour, an'
I slid into the dhark on the other side av the temple,
and fetched up in the arms av a big fat priest. All I
wanted was to get away clear. So I tuk him by his
greasy throat an' shut the speech out av him. " Out ! "

30 LIFE'S HANDICAP

sez I. " Which way, ye fat heathen ? " — " Oh ! " sez he.
" Man," sez I. " White man, soldier man, common
soldier man. Where in the name av confusion is the
back door ? " The women in the temple were still on
their faces, an' a young priest was holdin' out his arms
above their heads.

* " This way," sez my fat friend, duckin' behind a big
bull -god an' divin' into a passage. Thin I remimbered
that I must ha' made the miraculous reputation av that
temple for the next fifty years. " Not so fast," I sez, an'
I held out both my hands wid a wink. That ould thief
smiled like a father. I tuk him by the back av the
neck in case he should be wishful to put a knife into
me unbeknowst, an' I ran him up an' down the passage
twice to collect his sensibilities ! " Be quiet," sez he, in
English. " Now you talk sense," I sez. " Fwhat'll you
give me for the use av that most iligant palanquin I
have no time to take away?" — "Don't tell," sez he.
" Is ut like ? " sez I. " But ye might give me my rail
way fare. I'm far from my home an' I've done you a
service." Bhoys, 'tis a good thing to be a priest. The
ould man niver throubled himself to dhraw from a bank.
As I will prove to you subsequint, he philandered all
round the slack av his clothes an' began dribblin' ten-
rupee notes, old gold mohurs, and rupees into my hand
till I could hould no more.'

' You life ! ' said Ortheris. ' You're mad or sunstrook.
A native don't give coin unless you cut it out o' 'im.
Tain't nature.'

' Then my lie an' my sunstroke is concealed under
that lump av sod yonder,' retorted Mulvaney unruffled,
nodding across the scrub. 'An' there's a dale more in
nature than your squidgy little legs have iver taken you
to, Orth'ris, me s*on. Four hundred an' thirty-four rupees

THE INCARNATION OF KRISHNA MULVANEY 31

by my reckonin5, an' a big fat gold necklace that I took
from him as a remimbrancer, was our share in that
business.'

' An' 'e give it you for love ? ' said Ortheris.

'We were alone in that passage. Maybe I was a
trifle too pressin', but considher fwhat I had done for the
good av the temple and the iverlastin' joy av those women.
'Twas cheap at the price. I wud ha' taken more if I cud
ha' found ut. I turned the ould man upside down at the
last, but he was milked dhry. Thin he opened a door in
another passage an' I found mysilf up to my knees in
Benares river -water, an' bad smellin' ut is. More by
token I had come out on the river -line close to the
burnin' ghat and contagious to a cracklin' corpse.
This was in the heart av the night, for I had been
four hours in the temple. There was a crowd av boats
tied up, so I tuk wan an' wint across the river. Thin
I came home acrost country, lyin' up by day.'

c How on earth did you manage ? ' I said.

'How did Sir Frederick Eoberts get from Cabul to
Candahar ? He marched an' he niver tould how near
he was to breakin' down. That's why he is fwhat he
is. An' now — ' Mulvaney yawned portentously. ' Now
I will go an' give myself up for absince widout leave.
It's eight an' twenty days an' the rough end of the
colonel's tongue in orderly room, any way you look
at ut. But 'tis cheap at the price.'

' Mulvaney,' said I softly. ' If there happens to be
any sort of excuse that the colonel can in any way
accept, I have a notion that you'll get nothing more
than the dressing -down. The new recruits are in,
and '

' Not a word more, sorr. Is ut excuses the old
man wants ? 'Tis not my way, but he shall have

32 LIFE'S HANDICAP

thim. I'll tell him I was engaged in financial opera
tions connected wid a church/ and he flapped his way
to cantonments and the cells, singing lustily—

' So they sent a corp'ril's file,
And they put me in the gyard-room
For concluck tmbecomin' of a soldier.'

And when he was lost in the mist of the moonlight we
could hear the refrain —

' Bang upon the big drum, bash upon the cymbals,
As we go marchin' along, boys, oh !
For although in this campaign
There's no whisky nor champagne,
We'll keep our spirits goin' with a song, boys ! '

Therewith he surrendered himself to the joyful and
almost weeping guard, and was made much of by his
fellows. But to the colonel he said that he had been
smitten with sunstroke and had lain insensible on a
villager's cot for untold hours ; and between laughter
and goodwill the affair was smoothed over, so that he
could, next day, teach the new recruits how to Tear
God, Honour the Queen, Shoot Straight, and Keep
Clean.'

THE COUBTING OF DINAH SHADD

What did the colonel's lady think ?

Nobody never knew.
Somebody asked the sergeant's wife

An' she told 'em true.
When you git to a man in the case

They're like a row o' pins,
For the colonel's lady an' Judy O'Grady

Are sisters under their skins.

Barrack Room Ballad.

ALL day I had followed at the heels of a pursuing army
engaged on one of the finest battles that ever camp of
exercise beheld. Thirty thousand troops had by the
wisdom of the Government of India been turned loose
over a few thousand square miles of country to practise
in peace what they would never attempt in war. Con
sequently cavalry charged unshaken infantry at the trot.
Infantry captured artillery by frontal attacks delivered
in line of quarter columns, and mounted infantry skir
mished up to the wheels of an armoured train which
carried nothing more deadly than a twenty-five pounder
Armstrong, two Nordenfeldts, and a few score volunteers
all cased in three-eighths-inch boiler-plate. Yet it was
a very lifelike camp. Operations did not cease at sun
down ; nobody knew the country and nobody spared
man or horse. There was unending cavalry scouting
and almost unending forced work over broken ground.
The Army of the South had finally pierced the centre of

D

34 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the Army of the North, and was pouring through the gap
hot-foot to capture a city of strategic importance. Its
front extended fanwise, the sticks being represented by
regiments strung out along the line of route backwards to
the divisional transport columns and all the lumber that
trails behind an army on the move. On its right the
broken left of the Army of the North was flying in
mass, chased by the Southern horse and hammered by
the Southern guns till these had been pushed far beyond
the limits of their last support. Then the flying sat
down to rest, while the elated commandant of the
pursuing force telegraphed that he held all in check
and observation.

Unluckily he did not observe that three miles to his
right flank a flying column of Northern horse with a
detachment of Ghoorkhas and British troops had been
pushed round, as fast as the failing light allowed, to
cut across the entire rear of the Southern Army, to
break, as it were, all the ribs of the fan where they
converged by striking at the transport, reserve ammuni
tion, and artillery supplies. Their instructions were
to go in, avoiding the few scouts who might not have
been drawn off by the pursuit, and create sufficient
excitement to impress the Southern Army with the
wisdom of guarding their own flank and rear before
they captured cities. It was a pretty manoeuvre, neatly
carried out.

Speaking for the second division of the Southern
Army, our first intimation of the attack was at twilight,
when the artillery were labouring in deep sand, most of
the escort were trying to help them out, and the main
body of the infantry had gone on. A Noah's Ark of
elephants, camels, and the mixed menagerie of an Indian
transport -train bubbled and squealed behind the guns,

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 35

when there appeared from .nowhere in particular British
infantry to the extent of three companies, who sprang to
the heads of the gun-horses and brought all to a stand
still amid oaths and cheers.

' How's that, umpire ? ' said the major commanding
the attack, and with one voice the drivers and limber
gunners answered ' Hout ! ' while the colonel of artillery
sputtered.

' All your scouts are charging our main body/ said
the major. ' Your flanks are unprotected for two miles.
I think we've broken the back of this division. And
listen, — there go the Ghoorkhas ! '

A weak fire broke from the rear -guard more than
a mile away, and was answered by cheerful howlings.
The Ghoorkhas, who should have swung clear of the
second division, had stepped on its tail in the dark,
but drawing off hastened to reach the next line of
attack, which lay almost parallel to us five or six miles
away.

Our column swayed and surged irresolutely, — three
batteries, the divisional ammunition reserve, the baggage,
and a section of the hospital and bearer corps. The
commandant ruefully promised to report himself ' cut
up ' to the nearest umpire, and commending his cavalry
and all other cavalry to the special care of Eblis, toiled
on to resume touch with the rest of the .division.

' We'll bivouac here to-night,' said the major, ' I have
a notion that the Ghoorkhas will get caught. They may
want us to re-form on. Stand easy till the transport
gets away.'

A hand caught my beast's bridle and led him out of
the choking dust ; a larger hand deftly canted me out of
the saddle ; and two of the hugest hands in the world
received me sliding. Pleasant is the lot of the special

36 LIFE'S HANDICAP

correspondent who falls into such hands as those of
Privates Mulvaney, Ortheris, and Learoyd.

' An' that's all right,' said the Irishman calmly. ' We
thought we'd find you somewheres here by. Is there
anything av yours in the transport ? Orth'ris 11 fetch ut
out.'

Ortheris did ' fetch ut out,' from under the trunk of an
elephant, in the shape of a servant and an animal both
laden with medical comforts. The little man's eyes
sparkled.

' If the brutil an' licentious soldiery av these parts
gets sight av the thruck/ said Mulvaney, making practised
investigation, ' they'll loot ev'rything. They're bein' fed
on iron-filin's an' dog-biscuit these days, but glory's no
compensation for a belly-ache. Praise be, we're here to
protect you, sorr. Beer, sausage, bread (soft an' that's a
cur'osity), soup in a tin, whisky by the smell av ut, an'
fowls ! Mother av Moses, but ye take the field like a
confectioner ! 'Tis scand'lus.'

' 'Ere's a orficer/ said Ortheris significantly. ' When
the sergent's done lushin' the privit may clean the pot.'

I bundled several things into Mulvaney's haversack
before the major's hand fell on my shoulder and he said
tenderly, ' Requisitioned for the Queen's service. Wolseley
was quite wrong about special correspondents : they are
the soldier's best friends. Come and take pot-luck with
us to-night.'

And so it happened amid laughter and shoutings that
my well-considered commissariat melted away to reappear
later at the mess-table, which was a waterproof sheet
spread on the ground. The flying column had taken
three days' rations with it, and there be few things
nastier than government rations — especially when govern
ment is experimenting with German toys. Erbswurst,

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 37

tinned beef of surpassing tinniness, compressed vegetables,
and meat-biscuits may be nourishing, but what Thomas
Atkins needs is bulk in his inside. The major, assisted
by his brother officers, purchased goats for the camp and
so made the experiment of no effect. Long before the
fatigue-party sent to collect brushwood had returned, the
men were settled down b"y their valises, kettles and pots
had appeared from the surrounding country and were
dangling over fires as the kid and the compressed vegetable
bubbled together ; there rose a cheerful clinking of mess-
tins ; outrageous demands for ' a little more stuffin' with
that there liver -wing;' and gust on gust of chaff as
pointed as a bayonet and as delicate as a gun-butt.

' The boys are in a good temper,' said the major.
' They'll be singing presently. Well, a night like this is
enough to keep them happy.'

Over our heads burned the wonderful Indian stars,
which are not all pricked in on one plane, but, preserving
an orderly perspective, draw the eye through the velvet
darkness of the void up to the barred doors of heaven
itself. The earth was a gray shadow more unreal than
the sky. We could hear her breathing lightly in the
pauses between the howling of the jackals, the movement
of the wind in the tamarisks, and the fitful mutter of
musketry-fire leagues away to the left. A native woman
from some unseen hut began to sing, the mail-train
thundered past on its way to Delhi, and a roosting crow
cawed drowsily. Then there was a belt-loosening silence
about the fires, and the even breathing of the crowded
earth took up the story.

The men, full fed, turned to tobacco and song, — their
officers with them. The subaltern is happy who can
win the approval of the musical critics in his regiment,
and is honoured among the more intricate step-dancers.

38 LIFE'S HANDICAP

By him, as by him who plays cricket cleverly, Thomas
Atkins will stand in time of need, when he will let a
better officer go on alone. The ruined tombs of forgotten
Mussulman saints heard the ballad of Agra Town, The
Buffalo Battery, Marching to Kabul, The long, long Indian
Day, The Place where the Punkah-coolie died, and that
crashing chorus which announces,

Youth's daring spirit, manhood's fire,

Firm hand and eagle eye,
Must he acquire, who would aspire

To see the gray boar die.

To-day, of all those jovial thieves who appropriated
my commissariat and lay and laughed round that water
proof sheet, not one remains. They went to camps
that were not of exercise and battles without umpires.
Burmah, the Soudan, and the frontier, — fever and fight,
— -took them in their time.

I drifted across to the men's fires in search of Mul-
vaney, whom I found strategically greasing his feet by
the blaze. There is nothing particularly lovely in the
sight of a private thus engaged after a long day's march,
but when you reflect on the exact proportion of the
' might, majesty, dominion, and power ' of the British
Empire which stands on those feet you take an interest in
the proceedings.

' There's a blister, bad luck to ut, on the heel,' said
Mulvaney. ' I can't touch ut. Prick ut out, little man.'

Ortheris took out his house-wife, eased the trouble
with a needle, stabbed Mulvaney in the calf with the
same weapon, and was swiftly kicked into the fire.

' I've bruk the best av my toes over you, ye grinnin'
child av disruption/ said Mulvaney, sitting cross-legged
and nursing his feet ; then seeing me, ' Oh, ut's you,

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 39

sorr ! Be welkim, an' take that inaraudin' scutt's place.
Jock, hold him down on the cindhers for a bit.'

But Ortheris escaped and went elsewhere, as I took
possession of the hollow he had scraped for himself and
lined with his greatcoat. Learoyd on the other side of
the fire grinned affably and in a minute fell fast asleep.

' There's the height av politeness for you/ said Mul-
vaney, lighting his pipe with a flaming branch. ' But
Jock's eaten half a box av your sardines at wan gulp,
an' I think the tin too. What's the best wid you, sorr,
an' how did you happen to be on the losin' side this day
whin we captured you ? '

' The Army of the South is winning all along the
line,' I said.

' Then that line's the hangman's rope, savin' your
presence. You'll learn to-morrow how we rethreated to
dhraw thim on before we made thim trouble, an' that's
what a woman does. By the same tokin, we'll be
attacked before the dawnin' an' ut would be betther not
to slip your boots. How do I know that ? By the
light av pure reason. Here are three companies ay us
ever so far inside av the enemy's flank an' a crowd av
roarin', tarin', squealin' cavalry gone on just to turn out
the whole hornet's nest av them. Av course the enemy
will pursue, by brigades like as not, an' thin we'll have
to run for ut. Mark my words. I am av the opinion
av Polonius whin he said, "Don't fight wid ivry scutt
for the pure joy av fightin', but if you do, knock the
nose av him first an' frequint." We ought to ha' gone
on an' helped the Ghoorkhas.'

' But what do you know about Polonius ? ' I demanded.
This was a new side of Mulvaney's character.

' All that Shakespeare iver wrote an' a dale more that
the gallery shouted,' said the man of war, carefully lacing

40 LIFE'S HANDICAP

his boots. ' Did I not tell you av Silver's theatre in
Dublin, whin I was younger than I am now an' a patron
av the drama ? Ould Silver wud never pay actor-man or
woman their just dues, an' by consequince his comp'nies
was collapsible at the last minut. Thin the bhoys wud
clamour to take a part, an' oft as not ould Silver made
them pay for the fun. Faith, I've seen Hamlut played
wid a new black eye an' the queen as full as a cornu
copia. I remimber wanst Hogin that 'listed in the Black
Tyrone an' was shot in South Africa, he sejuced ould
Silver into givin' him Hamlut 's part instid av me that
had a fine fancy for rhetoric in those days. Av course
I whit into the gallery an' began to fill the pit wid other
peoples' hats, an' I passed the time av day to Hogin
walkiii' through Denmark like a hamstrung mule wid a
pall on his back. " Hamlut," sez I, " there's a hole in
your heel. Pull up your shtockin's, Hamlut," sez I.
" Hamlut, Hamlut, for the love av decincy dhrop that
skull an' pull up your shtockin's." The whole house
begun to tell him that. He stopped his soliloquishms
mid-between. "My shtockin's may be comin' down or
they may not," sez he, screwin' his eye into the gallery,
for well he knew who I was. "But afther this per-
formince is over me an' the Ghost 11 trample the tripes
out av you, Terence, wid your ass's bray ! " An* that's
how I come to know about Hamlut. Eyah ! Those
days, those days ! Did you iver have onendin' devilmint
an' nothin' to pay for it in your life, sorr ? '

' Never, without having to pay,' I said.

' That's thrue ! 'Tis mane whin you considher on ut ;
but ut's the same wid horse or fut A headache if you
dhrink, an' a belly-ache if you eat too much, an' a heart
ache to kape all down. Faith, the beast only gets the
colic, an' he's the lucky man.'

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 41

He dropped his head and stared into the fire, finger
ing his moustache the while. From the far side of
the bivouac the voice of Corbet-Nolan, senior subaltern of
P> company, uplifted itself in an ancient and much appre
ciated song of sentiment, the men moaning melodiously
behind him.

The north wind blew coldly, she drooped from that hour,
My own little Kathleen, my sweet little Kathleen,
Kathleen, my Kathleen, Kathleen O'Moore !

With forty -five O's in the last word : even at that
distance you might have cut the soft South Irish accent
with a shovel.

' For all we take we must pay, but the price is cruel
high,' murmured Mulvaney when the chorus had ceased.

' What's the trouble ? ' I said gently, for I knew that
he was a man of an inextinguishable sorrow.

' Hear now/ said he. ' Ye know what I am now. /
know what I mint to be at the beginnin' av my service.
I've tould you time an' again, an' what I have not Dinah
Shadd has. An' what am I ? Oh, Mary Mother av
Hiven, an ould dhrunken, untrustable baste av a privit
that has seen the reg'ment change out from colonel to
drummer-boy, not wanst or twice, but scores av times !
Ay, scores ! An' me not so near gettin' promotion as
in the first ! An' me livin' on an' kapin' clear av clink,
not by my own good conduck, but the kindness av some
orf 'cer-bhoy young enough to be son to me ! Do I not
know ut ? Can I not tell whin I'm passed over at p'rade,
tho' I'm rockin' full av liquor an' ready to fall all in wan
piece, such as even a suckin' child might see, bekaze,
" Oh, 'tis only ould Mulvaney ! " An' whin I'm let off
in ord'ly-room through some thrick of the tongue an' a
ready answer an' the ould man's mercy, is ut smilin' I

42 LIFE'S HANDICAP

feel whin I fall away an' go back to Dinah Shadd, thryin'
to carry ut all off as a joke ? Not I ! 'Tis hell to me,
dumb hell through ut all ; an' next time whin the fit
comes I will be as bad again. Good cause the reg'ment
has to know me for the best soldier in ut. Better cause
have I to know mesilf for the worst man. I'm only fit to
tache the new drafts what I'll niver learn myself; an'
I am sure, as tho' I heard ut, that the minut wan av
these pink-eyed recruities gets away from my " Mind ye
now," an' " Listen to this, Jim, bhoy," — sure I am that the
sergint houlds me up to him for a warnin'. So I tache,
as they say at musketry-instruction, by direct and ricochet
fire. Lord be good tome, for I have stud some throuble!'

' Lie down and go to sleep/ said I, not being able to
comfort or advise. ' You're the best man in the regiment,
and, next to Ortheris, the biggest fool. Lie down and
wait till we're attacked. What force will they turn out ?
Guns, think you ? '

' Try that wid your lorrds an* ladies, twistiri an turnin'
the talk, tho' you mint ut well. Ye cud say nothin' to
help me, an* yet ye niver knew what cause I had to be
what I am.'

' Begin at the beginning and go on to the end,' I said
royally. ' But rake up the fire a bit first.'

I passed Ortheris's bayonet for a poker.

' That shows how little we know what we do/ said
Mulvaney, putting it aside. Tire takes all the heart
out av the steel, an' the next time, may be, that our little
man is fighting for his life his bradawl '11 break, an' so
you'll ha' killed him, manin' no more than to kape your
self warm. 'Tis a recruity's thrick that. Pass the
clanin'-rod, sorr.'

I snuggled down abashed ; and after an interval the
voice of Mulvaney began.

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 43

' Did I iver tell you how Dinah Shadd came to be
wife av mine ? '

I dissembled a burning anxiety that I had felt for
some months — ever since Dinah Shadd, the strong, the
patient, and the infinitely tender, had of her own good
love and free will washed a shirt for me, moving in a
barren land where washing was not.

' I can't remember/ I said casually. ' Was it before
or after you made love to Annie Bragin, and got no
satisfaction ? '

The story of Annie Bragin is written in another place.
It is one of the many less respectable episodes in Mul-
vaney's chequered career.

' Before — before — long before, was that business av
Annie Bragin an' the corp'ril's ghost. Mver woman was
the worse for me whin I had married Dinah. There's a
time for all things, an' I know how to kape all things in
place — barrin' the dhrink, that kapes me in my place wid
no hope av comin' to be aught else.'

1 Begin at the beginning,' I insisted. ' Mrs. Mulvaney
told me that you married her when you were quartered
in Krab Bokhar barracks.'

'An' the same is a cess -pit/ said Mulvaney piously.
' She spoke thrue, did Dinah. 'Twas this way. Talkin'
av that, have ye iver fallen in love, sorr ? '

I preserved the silence of the damned. Mulvaney
continued —

' Thin I will assume that ye have not. / did. In
the days av my youth, as I have more than wanst tould
you, I was a man that filled the eye an' delighted the
sowl av women. Niver man was hated as I have bin.
Niver man was loved as I — no, not within half a day's
march av ut ! For the first five years av my service,
whin I was what I wud give my sowl to be now, I tuk

44 LIFE'S HANDICAP

whatever was within my reach an' digested ut — an' that's
more than most men can say. Dhrink I tuk, an' ut did
me no harm. By the Hollow av Hiven, I cud play wid
four women at wanst, an' kape them from findin' out
anythin' about the other three, an' smile like a full-blown
marigold through ut all. Dick Coulhan, av the battery
we'll have down on us to-night, could drive his team no
better than I mine, an' I hild the worser cattle ! An' so
I lived, an' so I was happy till afther that business wid
Annie Bragin — she that turned me off as cool as a meat-
safe, an' taught me where I stud in the mind av an honest
woman. 'Twas no sweet dose to swallow.

' Afther that I sickened awhile an' tuk thought to my
reg'mental work ; conceiting mesilf I wud study an' be a
sargint, an' a major-gineral twinty minutes afther that.
But on top av my ambitiousness there was an empty place
in my sowl, an' me own opinion av mesilf cud not fill
ut. Sez I to mesilf, " Terence, you're a great man an'
the best set-up in the reg'mint. Go on an' get promo
tion." Sez mesilf to me, " What for ? " Sez I to mesilf,
" For the glory av ut ! " Sez mesilf to me, " Will that
fill these two strong arrums av yours, Terence ? " " Go
to the devil," sez I to mesilf. " Go to the married lines,"
sez mesilf to me. " 'Tis the same thing," sez I to mesilf.
" Av you're the same man, ut is," said mesilf to me ; an'
wid that I considhered on ut a long while. Did you
iver feel that way, sorr ? '

I snored gently, knowing that if Mulvaney were un
interrupted he would go on. The clamour from the
bivouac fires beat up to the stars, as the rival singers of
the companies were pitted against each other.

' So I felt that way an' a bad time ut was. Wanst,
bein' a fool, I wint into the married lines more for the
sake av spakin' to our ould colour-sergint Shadd than

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 45

for any thruck wid women-folk. I was a corp'ril then
— rejuced aftherwards, but a corp'ril then. I've got a
photograft av mesilf to prove ut. " You'll take a cup
av tay wid us ? " sez Shadd. " I will that," I sez, " tho'
tay is not my divarsion."

' " 'Twud be better for you if ut were," sez ould Mother
Shadd, an' she had ought to know, for Shadd, in the ind av
his service, dhrank bung-full each night.

' Wid that I tuk off my gloves — there was pipe
clay in thim, so that they stud alone — an' pulled up
my chair, lookin' round at the china ornaments an' bits av
things in the Shadds' quarters. They were things that
belonged to a man, an' no camp-kit, here to-day an' dishi-
pated next. " You're comfortable in this place, sergint,"
sez I. " 'Tis the wife that did ut, boy," sez he, pointin'
the stem av his pipe to ould Mother Shadd, an' she
smacked the top av his bald head apon the compliment.
" That manes you want money," sez she.

' An' thin — an' thin whin the kettle was to be filled,
Dinah came in — my Dinah — her sleeves rowled up to
the elbow an' her hair in a winkin' glory over her fore
head, the big blue eyes beneath twinklin' like stars on a
frosty night, an* the tread av her two feet lighter than
waste-paper from the colonel's basket in ord'ly-room whin
ut's emptied. Bein' but a shlip av a girl she went pink
at seem' me, an' I twisted me moustache an' looked at a
picture forninst the wall. Mver show a woman that
ye care the snap av a finger for her, an' begad she'll come
bleatin' to your boot-heels ! '

' I suppose that's why you followed Annie Bragin till
everybody in the married quarters laughed at you,' said
I, remembering that unhallowed wooing and casting off
the disguise of drowsiness.

' I'm lay in' down the gin'ral theory av the attack,' said

46 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Mulvaney, driving his boot into the dying fire. 'If
you read the Soldier's Pocket Book, which niver any soldier
reads, you'll see that there are exceptions. Whin Dinah
was out av the door (an' 'twas as tho' the sunlight had
shut too) — " Mother av Hiven, sergint," sez I, " but is
that your daughter ? " — " I've believed that way these
eighteen years," sez ould Shadd, his eyes twinklin' ;
" but Mrs. Shadd has her own opinion, like iv'ry woman."
— " 'Tis wid yours this time, for a mericle," sez Mother
Shadd. " Thin why in the name av fortune did I niver
see her before ? " sez I. " Bekaze you've been thrapesin'
round wid the married women these three years past.
She was a bit av a child till last year, an' she shot up
wid the spring," sez ould Mother Shadd. " I'll thrapese
no more," sez I. " D'you mane that ? " sez ould Mother
Shadd, lookin' at me side-ways like a hen looks at a hawk
whin the chickens are runnin' free. " Try me, an* tell,"
sez I. Wid that I pulled on my gloves, dhrank off
the tay, an* went out av the house as stiff as at gin'ral
p'rade, for well I knew that Dinah Shadd's eyes were in
the small av my back out av the scullery window. Faith !
that was the only time I mourned I was not a cavTry
man for the pride av the spurs to jingle.

' I wint out to think, an' I did a powerful lot av
thinkin', but ut all came round to that shlip av a girl
in the dotted blue dhress, wid the blue eyes an' the spar-
kil in them. Thin I kept off canteen, an' I kept to
the married quarthers, or near by, on the chanst av
meetin' Dinah. Did I meet her ? Oh, my time past,
did I not ; wid a lump in my throat as big as my valise
an' my heart goin' like a farrier's forge on a Saturday
morning ? 'Twas " Good day to ye, Miss Dinah," an
" Good day t'you, corp'ril," for a week or two, and divil
a bit further could I get bekaze av the respect I had

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 47

to that girl that I cud ha' broken betune finger an'
thumb/

Here I giggled as I recalled the gigantic figure of
Dinah Shadd when she handed me my shirt.

' Ye may laugh,' grunted Mulvaney. ' But I'm speakin'
the trut', an' 'tis you that are in fault. Dinah was a girl
that wud ha' taken the imperiousness out av the Duchess
av Clonmel in those days. Flower hand, foot av' shod
air, an' the eyes av the livin' mornin' she had that is
my wife to-day — ould Dinah, and niver aught else than
Dinah Shadd to me.

' 'Twas after three weeks standin' off an' on, an* niver
makin' headway excipt through the eyes, that a little
drummer-boy grinned in me face whin I had admonished
him wid the buckle av my belt for riotin' all over the
place. "An' I'm not the only wan that doesn't kape to
barricks," sez he. I tuk him by the scruff av his neck,
—my heart was hung on a hair-thrigger those days, you
will onderstand — an' " Out wid ut," sez I, " or I'll lave
no bone av you unbreakable." — " Speak to Dempsey,"
sez he howlin'. " Dempsey which ? " sez I, " ye unwashed
limb av Satan." — "Av the Bob -tailed Dhragoons," sez
he. "He's seen her home from her aunt's house in the
civil lines four times this fortnight." — " Child ! " sez I,
dhroppin' him, " your tongue's stronger than your body.
Go to your quarters. I'm sorry I dhressed you down."

' At that I went four ways to wanst huntin' Dempsey.
I was mad to think that wid all my airs among women
I shud ha' been chated by a basin-faced fool av a cav'lry-
man not fit to trust on a trunk. Presintly I found him
in our lines — the Bobtails was quartered next us — an' a
tallowy, topheavy son av a she-mule he was wid his big
brass spurs an' his plastrons on his epigastrons an' all.
But he niver flinched a hair.

48 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' " A word wid you, Dempsey," sez I. " You've walked
wid Dinah Shadd four times this fortnight gone."

' " What's that to you ? " sez he. " I'll walk forty
times more, an' forty on top av that, ye shovel-futted
clod-breakin' infantry lance-corp'ril."

' Before I cud gyard he had his gloved fist home on my
cheek an' down I went full-sprawl. " Will that content
you ? " sez he, blowin' on his knuckles for all the world
like a Scots Greys orf 'cer. " Content ! " sez I. " For your
own sake, man, take off your spurs, peel your jackut, an'
onglove. 'Tis the beginnin' av the overture ; stand up ! "

' He stud all he know, but he niver peeled his jacket,
an' his shoulders had no fair play. I was fightin' for
Dinah Shadd an' that cut on my cheek. What hope had
he forninst me ? " Stand up," sez I, time an' again whin
he was beginnin' to quarter the ground an' gyard high an'
go large. " This isn't ridin'-school," I sez. " 0 man,
stand up an' let me get in at ye." But whin I saw
he wud be runnin' about, I grup his shtock in my left an'
his waist-belt in my right an' swung him clear to my
right front, head undher, he hammerin' my nose till the
wind was knocked out av him on the bare ground.
" Stand up," sez I, " or I'll kick your head into your
chest!" and I wud ha' done ut too, so ragin' mad I was.

' " My collar-bone's bruk," sez he. " Help me back
to lines. I'll walk wid her no more." So I helped him
back/

'And was his collar-bone broken?' I asked, for I
fancied that only Learoyd could neatly accomplish that
terrible throw.

' He pitched on his left shoulder-point. Ut was. Next
day the news was in both barricks, an' whin I met Dinah
Shadd wid a cheek on me like all the reg'mintal tailor's
samples there was no " Good mornin', corp'ril," or aught

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 49

else. " An' what have I done, Miss Shadd," sez I, very
bould, plantin' mesilf forninst her, " that ye should not
pass the time of day ? "

' " Ye've half -killed rough-rider Dempsey," sez she,
her dear blue eyes fillin' up.

' " May be," sez I. " Was he a friend av yours that
saw ye home four times in the fortnight ? "

' " Yes," sez she, but her mouth was down at the
corners. " An' — an' what's that to you ? " she sez.

' " Ask Dempsey," sez I, purtendin' to go away.

' " Did you fight for me then, ye silly man ? " she sez,
tho' she knew ut all along.

' " Who else ? " sez I, an' I tuk wan pace to the front.

' " I wasn't worth ut," sez she, fingerin' in her apron.

' " That's for me to say," sez I. " Shall I say ut ? "

' " Yes," sez she in a saint's whisper, an' at that I
explained mesilf; and she tould me what ivry man that
is a man, an' many that is a woman, hears wanst in his
life.

1 " But what made ye cry at startin', Dinah, darlin' ? "
sez I.

'"Your — your bloody cheek," sez she, duckin' her
little head down on my sash (I was on duty for the day)
an' whimperin' like a sorrowful angil.

' Now a man cud take that two ways. I tuk ut as
pleased me best an' my first kiss wid ut. Mother av
Innocence ! but I kissed her on the tip av the nose an'
undher the eye ; an' a girl that lets a kiss come tumble-
ways like that has never been kissed before. Take note
av that, sorr. Thin we wint hand in hand to ould Mother
Shadd like two little childher, an' she said 'twas no bad
thing, an' ould Shadd nodded behind his pipe, an' Dinah
ran away to her own room. That day I throd on rollin'
clouds. All earth was too small to hould me. Begad, I

E

50 LIFE'S HANDICAP

cud ha' hiked the sun out av the sky for a live coal
to my pipe, so magnificent I was. But I tuk recruities
at squad -drill instid, an' began wid general battalion
advance whin I shud ha' been balance -steppin' them.
Eyah ! that day ! that day ! '

A very long pause. ' Well ? ' said I.

' 'Twas all wrong,' said Mulvaney, with an enormous
sigh. ' An' I know that ev'ry bit av ut was my own
foolishness. That night I tuk maybe the half av three
pints — not enough to turn the hair of a man in his
natural senses. But I was more than half drunk wid pure
joy, an' that canteen beer was so much whisky to me. I
can't tell how it came about, but bekaze I had no thought
for anywan except Dinah, bekaze I hadn't slipped her
little white arms from my neck five minuts, bekaze the
breath of her kiss was not gone from my mouth, I must
go through the married lines on my way to quarters an'
I must stay talkin' to a red-headed Mullingar heifer av a
girl, Judy Sheehy, that was daughter to Mother Sheehy,
the wife of Nick Sheehy, the canteen-sergint — the Black
Curse av Shielygh be on the whole brood that are above
groun' this day !

' " An' what are ye houldin' your head that high for,
corp'ril ? " sez Judy. " Come in an' thry a cup av tay,"
she sez, standin' in the doorway. Bein' an ontrustable
fool, an' thinkin' av anything but tay, I wint.

' " Mother's at canteen," sez Judy, smoothin' the hair
av hers that was like red snakes, an' lookin' at me corner-
ways out av her green cats' eyes. " Ye will not mind,
corp'ril ? "

' " I can endure," sez I ; ould Mother Sheehy bein' no
divarsion av mine, nor her daughter too. Judy fetched the
tea things an' put thim on the table, leanin' over me very
close to get thim square. I dhrew back, thinkin' av Dinah.

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 51

' " Is ut afraid you are av a girl alone ? " sez Judy.

1 " No," sez I. " Why should I be ? "

' " That rests wid the girl," sez Judy, dhrawin' her
chair next to mine.

' " Thin there let ut rest," sez I ; an' thinkin' I'd been
a trifle onpolite, I sez, " The tay's not quite sweet enough
for my taste. Put your little finger in the cup, Judy.
'Twill make ut necthar."

' " What's necthar ? " sez she.

* " Somethin' very sweet," sez I ; an' for the sinful life
av me I cud not help lookin' at her out av the corner av
my eye, as I was used to look at a woman.

' " Go on wid ye, corp'ril," sez she. " You're a
flirrt."

' " On me sowl I'm not," sez I.

' " Then you're a cruel handsome man, an' that's worse,"
sez she, heaving big sighs an' lookin' crossways.

' " You know your own mind," sez I.

' " 'Twud be better for me if I did not," she sez.

' " There's a dale to be said on both sides av that," sez
I, unthinkin'.

' " Say your own part av ut, then, Terence, darlin' "
sez she ; "for begad I'm thinkin' I've said too much or too
little for an honest girl," an' wid that she put her arms
round my neck an' kissed me.

' " There's no more to be said afther that," sez I, kissin'
her back again — Oh the mane scutt that I was, my head
ringin' wid Dinah Shadd ! How does ut come about, sorr,
that when a man has put the comether on wan woman,
he's sure bound to put it on another ? 'Tis the same
thing at musketry. Wan day ivry shot goes wide or into
the bank, an* the next, lay high lay low, sight or snap,
ye can't get off the bull's-eye for ten shots runninV

' That only happens to a man who has had a good

52 LIFE'S HANDICAP

deal of experience. He does it without thinking/ I
replied.

' Thankin' you for the complimint, sorr, ut may be so.
But I'm doubtful whether you mint ut for a complimint.
Hear now ; I sat there wid Judy on my knee tellin' me
all manner av nonsinse an' only sayin' " yes " an' " no/'
when I'd much better ha' kept tongue betune teeth. An'
that was not an hour afther I had left Dinah ! What I
was thinkin' av I cannot say. Presintly, quiet as a cat,
ould Mother Sheehy came in velvet -dhrunk. She had
her daughter's red hair, but 'twas bald in patches, an' I
cud see in her wicked ould face, clear as lightnin', what
Judy wud be twenty years to come. I was for jumpin'
up, but Judy niver moved.

' " Terence has promust, mother," sez she, an' the could
sweat bruk out all over me. Ould Mother Sheehy sat
down of a heap an' began playin' wid the cups. " Thin
you're a well-matched pair," she sez very thick. " For
he's the biggest rogue that iver spoiled the queen's shoe-
leather," an' —

' " I'm off, Judy," sez I. " Ye should not talk nonsinse
to your mother. Get her to bed, girl."

'"Nonsinse!" sez the ould woman, prickin' up her
ears like a cat an* grippin' the table-edge. "'Twill be
the most nonsinsical nonsinse for you, ye grinnin' badger,
if nonsinse 'tis. Git clear, you. I'm goin' to bed."

' I ran out into the dhark, my head in a stew an' my
heart sick, but I had sinse enough to see that I'd brought
ut all on mysilf. " It's this to pass the time av day to a
panjandhrum av hell-cats," sez L " What I've said, an'
what I've not said do not matther. Judy an' her dam
will hould me for a promust man, an' Dinah will give me
the go, an' I desarve ut. I will go an' get dhrunk," sez I,
" an' forget about ut, for 'tis plain I'm not a marrin' man."

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 53

' On my way to canteen I ran against Lascelles, colour-
sergeant that was av E Comp'ny, a hard, hard man, wid
a torment av a wife. " You've the head av a drowned
man on your shoulders," sez he ; " an' you're goin' where
you'll get a worse wan. Come back," sez he. " Let me
go," sez I. " I've thrown my luck over the wall wid
my own hand ! " — " Then that's not the way to get ut
back again," sez he. " Have out wid your throuble, ye
fool-bhoy." An' I tould him how the matther was.

' He sucked in his lower lip. " You've been thrapped,"
sez he. "Ju Sheehy wud be the betther for a man's
name to hers as soon as can. An' ye thought ye'd put
the comether on her, — that's the natural vanity of the
baste. Terence, you're a big born fool, but you're not
bad enough to marry into that comp'ny. If you said
anythin , an' for all your protestations I'm sure ye did —
or did not, which is worse, — eat ut all — lie like the father
of all lies, but come out av ut free av Judy. Do I not
know what ut is to marry a woman that was the very
spit an' image av Judy whin she was young ? I'm
gettin' old an' I've larnt patience, but you, Terence,
you'd raise hand on Judy an' kill her in a year. Never
mind if Dinah gives you the go, you've desarved ut ;
never mind if the whole reg'mint laughs you all day.
Get shut av Judy an' her mother. They can't dhrag
you to church, but if they do, they'll dhrag you
to hell. Go back to your quarters and lie down,"
sez he. Thin over his shoulder, "You must ha' done
with thim."

'Next day I wint to see Dinah, but there was no
tucker in me as I walked. I knew the throuble wud
come soon enough widout any handlin' av mine, an'
I dreaded ut sore.

' " I heard Judy callin' me, but I hild straight on to

54 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the Shadds' quarthers, an' Dinah wud ha' kissed me but
I put her back.

1 " Whin all's said, darlin'," sez I, " you can give ut me
if ye will, tho' I misdoubt 'twill be so easy to come by
then."

' I had scarce begun to put the explanation into
shape before Judy an' her mother came to the door.
I think there was a verandah, but I'm forgettin'.

' " Will ye not step in ? " sez Dinah, pretty and
polite, though the Shadds had no dealin's with the
Sheehys. Old Mother Shadd looked up quick, an'
she was the fust to see the throuble ; for Dinah was
her daughter.

' " I'm pressed for time to-day," sez Judy as bould
as brass ; " an' I've only come for Terence, — my promust
man. 'Tis strange to find him here the day afther the
day."

' Dinah looked at me as though I had hit her, an' I
answered straight.

' " There was some nonsinse last night at the Sheehys'
quarthers, an' Judy's carryin' on the joke, darlin',"
sez I.

' " At the Sheehys' quarthers ? " sez Dinah very slow,
an' Judy cut in wid : " He was there from nine till ten,
Dinah Shadd, an' the betther half av that time I was
sittin' on his knee, Dinah Shadd. Ye may look and ye
may look an' ye may look me up an' down, but ye won't
look away that Terence is my promust man. Terence,
darlin', 'tis time for us to be comin' home."

' Dinah Shadd niver said word to Judy. " Ye left me
at half-past eight," she sez to me, " an' I niver thought
that ye'd leave me for Judy, — promises or no promises.
Go back wid her, you that have to be fetched by a girl !
I'm done with you," sez she, and she ran into her own

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 55

room, her mother followin'. So I was alone wid those
two women and at liberty to spake my sentiments."

' " Judy Sheehy," sez I, " if you made a fool av me
betune the lights you shall not do ut in the day. I
niver promised you words or lines."

' " You lie," sez ould Mother Sheehy, an' may ut choke
you where you stand ! " She was far gone in dhrink.

' " An' tho' ut choked me where I stud I'd not
change," sez I. "Go home, Judy. I take shame for
a decent girl like you dhraggin' your mother out bare
headed on this errand. Hear now, and have ut for
an answer. I gave my word to Dinah Shadd yesterday,
an', more blame to me, I was wid you last night talkin'
nonsinse but nothin' more. You've chosen to thry to
hould me on ut. I will not be held thereby for anythin'
in the world. Is that enough ? "

' Judy wint pink all over. " An' I wish you joy av
the perjury," sez she, duckin' a curtsey. " You've lost a
woman that would ha' wore her hand to the bone for your
pleasure ; an' 'deed, Terence, ye were not thrapped. . . ."
Lascelles must ha' spoken plain to her. " I am such as
Dinah is — 'deed I am ! Ye've lost a fool av a girl that'll
niver look at you again, an' ye've lost what ye niver had,
— your common honesty. If you manage your men as
you manage your love-makin', small wondher they call
you the worst corp'ril in the comp'ny. Come away,
mother," sez she.

' But divil a fut would the ould woman budge !
:< D'you hould by that ? " sez she, peerin1 up under her
thick gray eyebrows.

' " Ay, an' wud," sez I, " tho' Dinah give me the
go twinty times. I'll have no thruck with you or
yours," sez I. " Take your child away, ye shameless
woman."

56 LIFE'S HANDICAP

1 " An' am I shameless ? " sez she, bringin' her hands
up above her head. " Thin what are you, ye lyin',
schamin', weak-kneed, dhirty-souled son av a sutler?
Am / shameless ? Who put the open shame on me
an' my child that we shud go beggin' through the
lines in the broad daylight for the broken word of a
man ? Double portion of my shame be on you, Terence
Mulvaney, that think yourself • so strong ! By Mary
and the saints, by blood and water an' by ivry sorrow
that came into the world since the beginning the black
blight' fall on you and yours, so that you may niver
be free from pain for another when ut's not your
own ! May your heart bleed in your breast drop
by drop wid all your friends laughin' at the bleedin' !
Strong you think yourself? May your strength be
a curse to you to dhrive you into the divil's hands
against your own will! Clear -eyed you are? May
your eyes see clear evry step av the dark path you
take till the hot cindhers av hell put thim out ! May
the ragin' dry thirst in my own ould bones go to
you that you shall niver pass bottle full nor glass
empty. God preserve the light av your onderstandin'
to you, my jewel av a bhoy, that ye may niver forget
what you mint to be an' do, whin you're wallowin'
in the muck ! May ye see the betther and follow
the worse as long as there's breath in your body ;
an' may ye die quick in a strange land, watchin' your
death before ut takes you, an' enable to stir hand or foot ! "

1 1 heard a scufflin' in the room behind, and thin
Dinah Shadd's hand dhropped into mine like a rose-
leaf into a muddy road.

' " The half av that I'll take," sez she, " an' more too if
I can. Go home, ye silly talkin' woman, — go home an'
confess."

THE COURTING OF DINAR SHADD 57

' " Come away ! Come away ! " sez Judy, pullin' her
mother by the shawl. " 'Twas none av Terence's fault.
For the love av Mary stop the talkin' ! "

' " An' you ! " said ould Mother Sheehy, spinnin' round
forninst Dinah. "Will ye take the half av that man's
load ? Stand off from him, Dinah Shadd, before he takes
you down too — you that look to be a quarther-master-
sergeant's wife in five years. You look too high, child.
You shall wash for the quarther-master-sergeant, whin he
plases to give you the job out av charity ; but a privit's
wife you shall be to the end, an' evry sorrow of a privit's
wife you shall know and niver a joy but wan, that shall
go from you like the running tide from a rock. The pain
av bearin' you shall know but niver the pleasure av
giving the breast; an' you shall put away a man-child
into the common ground wid niver a priest to say a
prayer over him, an' on that man-child ye shall think
ivry day av your life. Think long, Dinah Shadd, for
you'll niver have another tho' you pray till your knees
are bleedin'. The mothers av childer shall mock you
behind your back when you're wringing over the wash-
tub. You shall know what ut is to help a dhrunken
husband home an' see him go to the gyard-room. Will
that plase you, Dinah Shadd, that won't be seen talkin' to
my daughter ? You shall talk to worse than Judy before
all's over. The sergints' wives shall look down on you
contemptuous, daughter av a sergint, an' you shall cover
ut all up wid a smiling. face whin your heart's burstin'.
Stand off av him, Dinah Shadd, for I've put the Black
Curse of Shielygh upon him an' his own mouth shall
make ut good." /

' She pitched forward on her head an' began foamin' at
the mouth. Dinah Shadd ran out wid water, an' Judy
dhragged the ould woman into the verandah till she sat up.

58 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' " I'm old an' forlore," she sez, thremblin' an' cryin',
" and 'tis like I say a dale more than I mane."

' " When you're able to walk, — go," says ould Mother
Shadd. " This house has no place for the likes av you
that have cursed my daughter."

' " Eyah ! " said the ould woman. " Hard words
break no bones, an' Dinah Shadd '11 kape the love
av her husband till my bones are green corn. Judy
darlin', I misremember what I came here for. Can
you lend us the bottom av a taycup av tay, Mrs.
Shadd ? "

' But Judy dhragged her off cryin' as tho' her heart
wud break. An' Dinah Shadd an' I, in ten minutes we
had forgot ut all.'

' Then why do you remember it now ? ' said I.

' Is ut like I'd forget ? Ivry wrord that wicked ould
woman spoke fell thrue in my life aftherwards, an' I cud
ha' stud ut all — stud ut all, — excipt when my little Shadd
was born. That was on the line av march three months
afther the regiment was taken with cholera. We were
betune Umballa an' Kalka thin, an' I was on picket.
Whin I came off duty the women showed me the
child, an' ut turned on uts side an' died as I looked.
We buried him by the road, an' Father Victor was
a day's march behind wid the heavy baggage, so the
comp'ny captain read a prayer. An' since then I've
been a childless man, an' all else that ould Mother
Sheehy put upon me an' Dinah Shadd. What do you
think, sorr ? '

I thought a good deal, but it seemed better then to
reach out for Mulvaney's hand. The demonstration
nearly cost me the use of three fingers. Whatever
he knows of his weaknesses, Mulvaney is entirely
ignorant of his strength.

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 59

' But what do you think ? ' he repeated, as I was
straightening out the crushed fingers.

My reply was drowned in yells and outcries from
the next fire, where ten men were shouting for ' Orth'ris;
'Privit Orth'ris,' 'Mistah Or— ther — ris ! ' 'Deah boy,'
'Cap'n Orth'ris,' ' Field-Marshal Orth'ris,' 'Stanley, you
pen'north o' pop, come 'ere to your own comp'ny ! ' And
the cockney, who had been delighting another audience
with recondite and Eabelaisian yarns, was shot down
among his admirers by the major force.

' You've crumpled my dress-shirt 'orrid,' said he, ' an'
I shan't sing no more to this 'ere bloomin' drawin'-room.'

Learoyd, roused by the confusion, uncoiled himself, crept
behind Ortheris, and slung him aloft on his shoulders.

' Sing, ye bloomin' hummin' bird ! ' said he, and
Ortheris, beating time on Learoyd's skull, delivered him
self, in the raucous voice of the Eatcliffe Highway, of
this song : —

My girl she give me the go onst,

When I was a London lad,
An' I went on the drink for a fortnight,

An' then I went to the bad.
The Queen she give me a shillin'

To fight for 'er over the seas ;
But Guv'ment built me a fever-trap,

An' Injia give me disease.

Cliorus.

Ho ! don't you 'eed what a girl says,

An' don't you go for the beer ;
But I was an ass when I was at grass,

An' that is why I'm here.

I fired a shot at a Afghan,

The beggar 'e fired again,
An' I lay on my bed with a 'ole in my 'ed,

An' missed the next campaign !

60 LIFE'S HANDICAP

I up with my gun at a Burman

Who carried a bloomin' dah,
But the cartridge stuck and the bay'nit bruk,

An' all I got was the scar.

Chorus.

Ho ! don't you aim at a Afghan

When you stand on the sky-line clear ;

An' don't you go for a Burman
If none o' your friends is near.

I served my time for a corp'ral,

An' wetted my stripes with pop,
For I went on the bend with a intimate friend,

An' finished the night in the 'shop.'
I served my time for a sergeant ;

The colonel 'e sez ' No !
The most you'll see is a full C.B.' l

An' . . . very next night 'twas so.

Chorus.

Ho ! don't you go for a corp'ral

Unless your 'ed is clear ;
But I was an ass when I was at grass,

An' that is why I'm 'ere.

I've tasted the luck o' the army

In barrack an' camp an' clink,
An' I lost my tip through the bloomin' trip

Along o' the women an' drink.
I'm down at the heel o' my service

An' when I am laid on the shelf,
My very wust friend from beginning to end

By the blood of a mouse was myself !

Chorus.

Ho ! don't you 'eed what a girl says,
An' don't you go for the beer ;

But I was an ass when I was at grass
An' that is why I'm 'ere.

1 Confined to barracks.

THE COURTING OF DINAH SHADD 61

' Ay, listen to our little man now, singin' an' shoutin'
as tho' trouble had niver touched him. D' you remember
when he went mad with the home-sickness ? ' said Mul-
vaney, recalling a never-to-be-forgotten season when
Ortheris waded through the deep waters of affliction and
behaved abominably 'But he's talkin' bitter truth,
though. Eyah !

' My very worst frind from beginnin' to ind
By the blood av a mouse was mesilf ! '

When I woke I saw Mulvaney, the night-dew gem
ming his moustache, leaning on his rifle at picket,
lonely as Prometheus on his rock, with I know not
what vultures tearing his liver.

ON GKEENHOW HILL

To Love's low voice she lent a careless ear ;

Her hand within his rosy fingers lay,

A chilling weight. She would not turn or hear ;

But with averted face went on her way.

But when pale Death, all featureless and grim,

Lifted his bony hand, and beckoning

Held out his cypress-wreath, she followed him,

And Love was left forlorn and wondering,

That she who for his bidding would not stay,

At Death's first whisper rose and went away.

Rivals.

' OHE, Ahmed Din ! Skqfiz Ullah aJwo ! Bahadur Khan,
where are you ? Come out of the tents, as I have done,
and fight against the English. Don't kill your own kin !
Come out to me ! '

The deserter from a native corps was crawling round
the outskirts of the camp, firing at intervals, and shouting
invitations to his old comrades. Misled by the rain and
the darkness, he came to the English wing of the camp,
and with his yelping and rifle-practice disturbed the men.
They had been making roads all day, and were tired.

Ortheris was sleeping at Learoyd's feet. 'Wot's all
that ? ' he said thickly. Learoyd snored, and a Snider
bullet ripped its way through the tent wall. The men
swore. ' It's that bloomin' deserter from the Auranga-
badis/ said Ortheris. ' Git up, some one, an' tell 'im 'e's
come to the wrong shop.'

ON GREENHOW HILL 63

' Go to sleep, little man,' said Mulvaney, who was
steaming nearest the door. * I can't arise an' expaytiate
with him. 'Tis rainin' entrenchin' tools outside.'

' 'Tain't because you bloomin' can't. It's 'cause you
bloomin' won't, ye long, limp, lousy, lazy beggar, you.
'Ark to 'im 'owlin'!'

' Wot's the good of argifying ? Put a bullet into the
swine ! 'E's keepin' us awake ! ' said another voice.

A subaltern shouted angrily, and a dripping sentry
whined from the darkness —

' 'Tain't no good, sir. I can't see 'im. 'E's 'idin' some
where down 'ill.'

Ortheris tumbled out of his blanket. ' Shall I try to
get 'im, sir ? ' said he.

' No,' was the answer. ' Lie down. I won't have the
whole camp shooting all round the clock. Tell him to
go and pot his friends.'

Ortheris considered for a moment. Then, putting his
head under the tent wall, he called, as a 'bus conductor
calls in a block, ' 'Igher up, there ! 'Igher up ! '

The men laughed, and the laughter was carried down
wind to the deserter, who, hearing that he had made a
mistake, went off to worry his own regiment half a mile
away. He was received with shots ; the Aurangabadis
were very angry with him for disgracing their colours.

' An' that's all right,' said Ortheris, withdrawing his
head as he heard the hiccough of the Sniders in the dis
tance. ' S'elp me Gawd, tho', that man's not fit to live
— messin' with my beauty-sleep this way.'

' Go out and shoot him in the morning, then,' said
the subaltern incautiously. ' Silence in the tents now.
Get your rest, men/

Ortheris lay down with a happy little sigh, and in
two minutes there was no sound except the rain on the

64 LIFE'S HANDICAP

canvas and the all-embracing and elemental snoring of
Learoyd.

The camp lay on a bare ridge of the Himalayas, and
for a week had been waiting for a flying column to make
connection. The nightly rounds of the deserter and his
friends had become a nuisance.

In the morning the men dried themselves in hot
sunshine and cleaned their grimy accoutrements. The
native regiment was to take its turn of road -making
that day while the Old Eegiment loafed.

' I'm goin' to lay for a shot at that man,' said Ortheris,
when he had finished washing out his rifle. ' 'E comes
up the watercourse every evenin' about five o'clock. If
we go and lie out on the north 'ill a bit this afternoon
we'll get 'im.'

' You're a bloodthirsty little mosquito/ said Mulvaney,
blowing blue clouds into the air. ' But I suppose I will
have to come wid you. Fwhere's Jock 1 '

' Gone out with the Mixed Pickles, 'cause 'e thinks
'isself a bloomin' marksman/ said Ortheris with scorn.

The ' Mixed Pickles ' were a detachment of picked
shots, generally employed in clearing spurs of hills when
the enemy were too impertinent. This taught the young
officers how to handle men, and did not do the enemy
much harm. Mulvaney and Ortheris strolled out of
camp, and passed the Aurangabadis going to their road-
making.

'You've got to sweat to-day/ said Ortheris genially.
' We're going to get your man. You didn't knock 'im
out last night by any chance, any of you ? '

' No. The pig went away mocking us. I had one
shot at him/ said a private. 'He's my cousin, and /
ought to have cleared our dishonour. But good luck
to you.'

ON GREENHOW HILL 65

They went cautiously to the north hill, Ortheris
leading, because, as he explained, ' this is a long-range
show, an' I've got to do it.' His was an almost pas
sionate devotion to his rifle, whom, by barrack -room
report, he was supposed to kiss every night before turn
ing in. Charges and scuffles he held in contempt, andy
when they were inevitable, slipped between Mulvaney
and Learoyd, bidding them to fight for his skin as well
as their own. They never failed him. He trotted along,
questing like a hound on a broken trail, through the
wood of the north hill. At last he was satisfied, and
threw himself down on the soft pine -needled slope that
commanded a clear view of the watercourse and a brown,
bare hillside beyond it. The trees made a scented dark
ness in which an army corps could have hidden from the
sun-glare without.

' 'Ere's the tail o' the wood/ said Ortheris. ' 'E's got
to come up the watercourse, 'cause it gives 'im cover.
We'll lay 'ere. 'Tain't not arf so bloomin' dusty
neither.'

He buried his nose in a clump of scentless white
violets. No one had come to tell the flowers that the
season of their strength was long past, and they had
bloomed merrily in the twilight of the pines.

' This is something like,' he said luxuriously. ' Wot
a 'evinly clear drop for a bullet acrost. How much d'you
make it, Mulvaney ? '

' Seven hunder. Maybe a trifle less, bekaze the air's
so thin.'

Wop ! wop ! wop I went a volley of musketry on the
rear face of the north hill.

' Curse them Mixed Pickles firm' at nothin' ! They'll
scare arf the country.'

' Thry a sightin' shot in the middle of the row,' said

F

66 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Mulvaney, the man of many wiles. ' There's a red rock
yonder he'll be sure to pass. Quick !'

Ortheris ran his sight up to six hundred yards and
fired. The bullet threw up a feather of dust by a clump
of gentians at the base of the rock.

' Good enough ! ' said Ortheris, snapping the scale down.
' You snick your sights to mine or a little lower. You're
always firm' high. But remember, first shot to me.
0 Lordy ! but it's a lovely afternoon.'

The noise of the firing grew louder, and there was a
tramping of men in the wood. The two lay very quiet,
for they knew that the British soldier is desperately
prone to fire at anything that moves or calls. Then
Learoyd appeared, his tunic ripped across the breast by
a bullet, looking ashamed of himself. He flung down on
the pine-needles, breathing in snorts.

' One o' them damned gardeners o' th' Pickles,' said
he, fingering the rent. ' Firin' to th' right flank, when
he knowed I was there. If I knew who he was I'd 'a'
rippen the hide offan him. Look at ma tunic ! '

' That's the spishil trustability av a marksman. Train
him to hit a fly wid a stiddy rest at seven hunder, an'
he loose on anythin' he sees or hears up to th' mile.
You're well out av that fancy-firin' gang, Jock. Stay
here.'

' Bin firin' at the bloomin' wind in the bloomin' tree-
tops,' said Ortheris with a chuckle. ' I'll show you some
firin' later on.'

They wallowed in the pine-needles, and the sun warmed
them where they lay. The Mixed Pickles ceased firing,
and returned to camp, and left the wood to a few scared
apes. The watercourse lifted up its voice in the silence,
and talked foolishly to the rocks. Now and again the
dull thump of a blasting charge three miles away told

ON GREENHOW HILL 67

that the Aurangabadis were in difficulties with their
road-making. The men smiled as they listened and lay
still, soaking in the warm leisure. Presently Learoyd,
between the whiffs of his pipe —

' Seems queer — about 'im yonder — desertin' at all.'

"E'll be a bloomin' side queerer when I've done with
'im/ said Ortheris. They were talking in whispers, for
the stillness of the wood and the desire of slaughter
lay heavy upon them.

' I make no doubt he had his reasons for desertin' ;
but, my faith ! I make less doubt ivry man has good
reason for killin' him,' said Mulvaney.

' Happen there was a lass tewed up wi' it. Men do
more than more for th' sake of a lass.'

' They make most av us 'list. They've no manner av
right to make us desert.'

' Ah ; they make us 'list, or their fathers do, said
Learoyd softly, his helmet over his eyes.

Ortheris's brows contracted savagely. He was watch
ing the valley. ' If it's a girl I'll shoot the beggar twice over,
an' second time for bein' a fool. You're blasted sentimental
all of a sudden. Thinkin' o' your last near shave ? '

' Nay, lad ; ah was but thinkin' o' what had happened.'

'An' fwhat has happened, ye lumberin' child av
calamity, that you're lowing like a cow-calf at the back
av the pasture, anr' suggestin' invidious excuses for the
man Stanley's goin' to kill. Yell have to wait another
hour yet, little man. Spit it out, Jock, an' bellow
melojus to the moon. It takes an earthquake or a bullet
graze to fetch aught out av you. Discourse, Don Juan !
The a-moors av Lotharius Learoyd ! Stanley, kape a rowlin'
rig'mental eye on the valley.'

' It's along o' yon hill there,' said Learoyd, watching
the bare sub-Himalayan spur that reminded him of his

68 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Yorkshire moors. He was speaking more to himself
than his fellows. ' Ay,' said he, ' Eumbolds Moor stands
up ower Skipton town, an' Greenhow Hill stands up
ower Pately Brig. I reckon you've never heeard tell o'
Greenhow Hill, but yon bit o' bare stuff if there was
nobbut a white road windin' is like ut ; strangely like.
Moors an' moors an' moors, wi' never a tree for shelter, an'
gray houses wi' flagstone rooves, and pewits cryin', an'
a windhover goin' to and fro just like these kites. And
cold ! A wind that cuts you like a knife. You could tell
Greenhow Hill folk by the red-apple colour o' their cheeks
an' nose tips, and their blue eyes, driven into pin-points
by the wind. Miners mostly, burrowin' for lead i' th'
hillsides, followin' the trail of th' ore vein same as a field-
rat. It was the roughest minin' I ever seen. Yo'd come
on a bit o' creakin' wood windlass like a well-head, an'
you was let down i' th' bight of a rope, fendin' yoursen
off the side wi' one hand, carryin' a candle stuck in a
lump o' clay with t'other, an' clickin' hold of a rope with
t'other hand.'

' An' that's three of them,' said Mulvaney. ' Must be
a good climate in those parts.'

Learoyd took no heed.

'An' then yo' came to a level, where you crept on
your hands and knees through a mile o' windin' drift, an'
you come out into a cave-place as big as Leeds Town-
hall, with a engine pumpin' water from workin's 'at went
deeper still. It's a queer country, let alone minin', for the
hill is full of those natural caves, an' the rivers an' the
becks drops into what they call pot-holes, an' come out
again miles away.'

' Wot was you doin' there ? ' said Ortheris.

' I was a young chap then, an' mostly went wi' 'osses,
leadin' coal and lead ore ; but at th' time I'm tellin' on I

ON GREENHOW HILL 69

was drivin' the waggon-team i' th' big sumph. I didn't
belong to that country-side by rights. I went there
because of a little difference at home, an' at fust I took
up wi' a rough lot. One night we'd been drinkin', an' I
must ha' hed more than I could stand, or happen th' ale
was none so good. Though i' them days, By for God, I
never seed bad ale.' He flung his arms over his head, and
gripped a vast handful of white violets. 'Nah/ said
he, ' I never seed the ale I could not drink, the bacca I
could not smoke, nor the lass I could not kiss. Well,
we mun have a race home, the lot on us. I lost all th'
others, an' when I was climbin' ower one of them walls
built o' loose stones, I comes down into the ditch, stones
and all, an' broke my arm. Not as I knawed much about
it, for I fell on th' back of my head, an' was knocked
stupid like. An' when I come to mysen it were mornin',
an' I were lyin' on the settle i' Jesse Eoantree's house-
place, an' 'Liza Eoantree was settin' sewin'. I ached all
ower, and my mouth were like a lime-kiln. She gave me
a drink out of a china mug wi' gold letters — " A Present
from Leeds " — as I looked at many and many a time at
after. "Yo're to lie still while Dr. Warbottom comes,
because your arm's broken, and father has sent a lad to
fetch him. He found yo' when he was goin' to work,
an' carried you here on his back," sez she. " Oa ! " sez
I ; an' I shet my eyes, for I felt ashamed o' mysen.
" Father's gone to his work these three hours, an' he
said he'd tell 'em to get somebody to drive the tram."
The clock ticked, an' a bee corned in the house, an' they
rung i' my head like mill-wheels. An' she give me
another drink an' settled the pillow. "Eh, but yo're
young to be getten drunk an' such like, but yo' won't do
it again, will yo' ? " — "Noa," sez I," I wouldn't if she'd
not but stop they mill-wheels clatterin'." :

70 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Faith, it's a good thing to be nursed by a woman
when you're sick ! ' said Mulvaney. ' Dir' cheap at the
price av twenty broken heads.'

Ortheris turned to frown across the valley. He
had not been nursed by many women in his life.

' An' then Dr. Warbottom comes ridin' up, an' Jesse
Eoantree along with 'im. He was a high-larned doctor,
but he talked wi' poor folk same as theirsens. " What's
ta bin agaate on naa ? " he sings out. " Brekkin' tha thick
head ? " An' he felt me all ovver. " That's none broken.
Tha' nobbut knocked a bit sillier than ordinary, an' that's
daaft eneaf." An' soa he went on, callin' me all the names
he could think on, but settin' my arm, wi' Jesse's help, as
careful as could be. " Yo' mun let the big oaf bide here
a bit, Jesse," he says, when he hed strapped me up an'
given me a dose o' physic ; " an' you an' 'Liza will tend
him, though he's scarcelins worth the trouble. An' tha'll
lose tha work," sez he, " an' tha'll be upon th' Sick Club
for a couple o' months an' more. Doesn't tha think tha's
afool?"'

' But whin was a young man, high or low, the other
av a fool, I'd like to know ? ' said Mulvaney. ' Sure,
folly's the only safe way to wisdom, for I've thried it.'

' Wisdom ! ' grinned Ortheris, scanning his comrades
with uplifted chin. ' You're bloomin' Solomons, you two,
ain't you ? '

Learoyd went calmly on, with a steady eye like an ox
chewing the cud.

' And that was how I corned to know 'Liza Eoantree.
There's some tunes as she used to sing — aw, she were
always singin' — that fetches Greenhow Hill before my
eyes as fair as yon brow across there. And she would
learn me to sing bass, an' I was to go to th' chapel wi'
'em, where Jesse and she led the singin', th' old man playin'

ON GREENHOW HILL 71

the fiddle. He was a strange chap, old Jesse, fair mad
wi' music, an' he made me promise to learn the hig fiddle
when my arm was better. It belonged to him, and it
stood up in a big case alongside o' th' eight-day clock, but
Willie Satterthwaite, as played it in the chapel, had getten
deaf as a door-post, and it vexed Jesse, as he had to rap
him ower his head wi' th' fiddle-stick to make him give
ower sawin' at th' right time.

' But there was a black drop in it all, an' it was a man
in a black coat that brought it. When th' Primitive
Methodist preacher came to Greenhow, he would always
stop wi' Jesse Eoantree, an' he laid hold of me from th'
beginning. It seemed I wor a soul to be saved, and he
meaned to do it. At th' same time I jealoused 'at he were
keen o' savin' 'Liza Eoantree's soul as well, and I could
ha' killed him many a time. An' this went on till one
day I broke out, an' borrowed th' brass for a drink from
'Liza. After fower days I come back, wi' my tail between
my legs, just to see 'Liza again. But Jesse were at home
an' th' preacher — th' Eeverend Amos Barraclough. 'Liza
said naught, but a bit o' red come into her face as were
white of a regular thing. Says Jesse, tryin' his best to
be civil, " Nay, lad, it's like this. You've getten to choose
which way it's goin' to be. I'll ha' nobody across ma
doorstep as goes a-drinkin', an' borrows my lass's money
to spend i' their drink. Ho'd tha tongue, 'Liza," sez he,
when she wanted to put in a word 'at I were welcome
to th' brass, and she were none afraid that I wouldn't pay
it back. Then the Eeverend cuts in, seein' as Jesse were
losin' his temper, an' they fair beat me among them.
But it were 'Liza, as looked an' said naught, as did more
than either o' their tongues, an' soa I concluded to get
converted. '

' Fwhat 1 ' shouted Mulvaney. Then, checking himself,

72 LIFE'S HANDICAP

he said softly, ' Let be ! Let be ! Sure the Blessed Virgin
is the mother of all religion an' most women ; an' there's
a dale av piety in a girl if the men woul(J only let ut stay
there. I'd ha' been converted myself under the circum
stances.'

' Kay, but/ pursued Learoyd with a blush, ' I meaned
it.'

Ortheris laughed as loudly as he dared, having regard
to his business at the time.

'Ay, Ortheris, you may laugh, but you didn't know
yon preacher Barraclough — a little white-faced chap, wi'
a voice as 'ud wile a bird off an a bush, and a way o'
layin' hold of folks as made them think they'd never
had a live man for a friend before. You never saw him,
an' — an' — you never seed 'Liza Eoantree — never seed
'Liza Eoantree. . . . Happen it was as much 'Liza as th'
preacher and her father, but anyways they all meaned it,
an' I was fair shamed o' mysen, an' so I become what
they called a changed character. And when I think
on, it's hard to believe as yon chap going to prayer-
meetin's, chapel, and class-meetin's were me. But I
never had naught to say for mysen, though there was a
deal o' shoutin', and old Sammy Strother, as were almost
clemmed to death and doubled up with the rheumatics,
would sing out, " Joyful ! Joyful ! " and 'at it were better
to go up to heaven in a coal-basket than down to hell i'
a coach an' six. And he would put his poor old claw on
my shoulder, sayin', " Doesn't tha feel it, tha great lump ?
Doesn't tha feel it ? " An' sometimes I thought I did,
and then again I thought I didn't, an' how was
that ? '

' The iverlastin' nature av mankind,' said Mulvaney.
'An', furthermore, I misdoubt you were built for the
Primitive Methodians. They're a new corps anyways. I

ON GREENHOW HILL 73

hold by the Ould Church, for she's the mother of them
all — ay, an' the father, too. I like her bekaze she's most
remarkable regimental in her fittings. I may die in
Honolulu, Nova Zambra, or Cape Cayenne, but wherever
I die, me bein' fwhat I am, an' a priest handy, I go under
the same orders an* the same words an' the same unction
as tho' the Pope himself come down from the roof av
St. Peter's to see me off. There's neither high nor low, nor
broad nor deep, nor betwixt nor between wid her, an'
that's what I like. But mark you, she's no manner av
Church for a wake man, bekaze she takes the body and
the soul av him, onless he has his proper work to do. I
remember when my father died that was three months
comin' to his grave; begad he'd ha' sold the shebeen
above our heads for ten minutes' quittance of purgathory.
An' he did all he could. That's why I say ut takes a
strong man to deal with the Ould Church, an' for that
reason you'll find so many women go there. An' that
sames a conundrum.'

' Wot's the use o' worrittin' 'bout these things ? ' said
Ortheris. ' You're bound to find all out quicker nor you
want to, any'ow.' He jerked the cartridge out of the
breech-block into the palm of his hand. ' 'Ere's my
chaplain,' he said, and made the venomous black -headed
bullet bow like a marionette. ' 'E's goin' to teach a man
all about which is which, an' wot's true, after all, before
sundown. But wot 'appened after that, Jock ?

' There was one thing they boggled at, and almost shut
th' gate i' my face for, and that were my dog Blast, th'
only one saved out o' a litter o' pups as was blowed up
when a keg o' minin' powder loosed off in th' store-keeper's
hut. They liked his name no better than his business,
which were fightin' every dog he corned across ; a rare good
dog, wi' spots o' black and pink on his face, one ear gone,.

74 LIFE'S HANDICAP

and lame o' one side wi' being driven in a basket through
an iron roof, a matter of half a mile.

' They said I mun give him up 'cause he were worldly
and low ; and would I let mysen be shut out of heaven
for the sake on a dog ? " Nay," says I, " if th' door isn't
wide enough for th' pair on us, we'll stop outside, for we'll
none be parted." And th' preacher spoke up for Blast,
as had a likin' for him from th' first — I reckon that was
why I come to like th' preacher — and wouldn't hear o'
changin' his name to Bless, as some o' them wanted. So
th' pair on us became reg'lar chapel-members. But it's
hard for a young chap o' my build to cut traces from the
world, th' flesh, an' the devil all uv a heap. Yet I stuck
to it for a long time, while th' lads as used to stand about
th' town-end an' lean ower th' bridge, spittin' into th'
beck o' a Sunday, would call after me, " Sitha, Learoyd,
when's ta bean to preach, 'cause we're comin' to hear tha."
— "Ho'd tha jaw. He hasn't getten th' white choaker
on ta morn," another lad would say, and I had to double
my fists hard i' th' bottom of my Sunday coat, and say to
mysen, " If 'twere Monday and I warn't a member o' the
Primitive Methodists, I'd leather all th' lot of yond'."
That was th' hardest of all — to know that I could fight
and I mustn't fight/

Sympathetic grunts from Mulvaney.

' So what wi' singin', practising and class-meetin's, and
th' big fiddle, as he made me take between my knees, I
spent a deal o' time i' Jesse Eoantree's house-place. But
often as I was there, th' preacher fared to me to go oftener,
and both th' old man an' th' young woman were pleased to
have him. He lived i' Pately Brig, as were a goodish
step off, but he come. He come all the same. I liked
him as well or better as any man I'd ever seen i' one
way, and yet I hated him wi' all my heart i' t'other, and

ON GREENHOW HILL 75

we watched each other like cat and mouse, but civil as
you please, for I was on my best behaviour, and he was
that fair and open that I was bound to be fair with him.
Eare good company he was, if I hadn't wanted to wring
his cliver little neck half of the time. Often and often
when he was goin' from Jesse's I'd set him a bit on
the road.'

' See 'im 'ome, you mean ? ' said Ortheris.

' Ay. It's a way we have i' Yorkshire o' seem' friends
off. You was a friend as I didn't want to come back, and
he didn't want me to come back neither, and so we'd walk
together towards Pately, and then he'd set me back again,
and there we'd be wal two o'clock i' the mornin' settin'
each other to an' fro like a blasted pair o' pendulums
twixt hill and valley, long after th' light had gone out i'
'Liza's window, as both on us had been looking at, pretend
ing to watch the moon.'

' Ah ! ' broke in Mulvaney, ' ye'd no chanst against the
maraudin' psalm-singer. They'll take the airs an' the
graces instid av the man nine times out av ten, an'
they only find the blunder later — the wimmen.'

' That's just where yo're wrong,' said Learoyd, reddening
under the freckled tan of his cheeks. ' I was th' first wi'
Liza, an' yo'd think that were enough. But th' parson
were a steady-gaited sort o' chap, and Jesse were strong
o' his side, and all th' women i' the congregation dinned
it to 'Liza 'at she were fair fond to take up wi' a wastrel
ne'er-do-weel like me, as was scarcelins respectable an'
a fighting dog at his heels. It was all very well for
her to be doing me good and saving my soul, but she
must mind as she didn't do herself harm. They talk o'
rich folk bein' stuck up an' genteel, but for cast-iron
pride o' respectability there's naught like poor chapel folk.
It's as cold as th' wind o' Greenhow Hill — ay, and colder,

76 LIFE'S HANDICAP

for 'twill never change. And now I come to think on it,
one at strangest things I know is 'at they couldn't abide
th' thought o' soldiering. There's a vast o' fightin' i' th'
Bible, and there's a deal of Methodists i' th' army ; but to
hear chapel folk talk yo'd think that soldierin' were next
door, an' t'other side, to hangin'. I' their meetin's all
their talk is o' fightin'. When Sammy Strother were
stuck for summat to say in his prayers, he'd sing out,
" Th' sword o' th' Lord and o' Gideon." They were allus
at it about puttin' on th' whole armour o' righteousness,
an' fightin' the good fight o' faith. And then, atop o' 't
all, they held a prayer-meetin' ower a young chap as
wanted to 'list, and nearly deafened him, till he picked
up his hat and fair ran away. And they'd tell tales in
th' Sunday-school o' bad lads as had been thumped and
brayed for bird-nesting o' Sundays and playin' truant o'
week-days, and how they took to wrestlin', dog-fightin',
rabbit-runnin', and drinkin', till at last, as if 'twere a
hepitaph on a gravestone, they damned him across th'
moors wi', " an' then he went and 'listed for a soldier," an'
they'd all fetch a deep breath, and throw up their eyes
like a hen drinkin'.'

' Fwhy is ut ? ' said Mulvaney, bringing down his
hand on his thigh with a crack. ' In the name av God,
fwhy is ut ? I've seen ut, tu. They cheat an' they
swindle an' they lie an' they slander, an' fifty things fifty
times worse ; but the last an' the worst by their reckonin'
is to serve the Widdy honest. It's like the talk av
childer — seein' things all round/

' Plucky lot of fightin' good fights of whatsername
they'd do if we didn't see they had a quiet place to fight
in. And such fightin' as theirs is ! Cats on the tiles.
T'other callin' to which to come on. I'd give a month's
pay to get some o' them broad-backed beggars in London

ON GREENHOW HILL 77

sweatin' through a day's road-makin' an' a night's rain.
They'd carry on a deal afterwards — same as we're supposed
to carry on. I've bin turned out of a measly arf-license
pub down Lambeth way, full o' greasy kebmen, 'fore now,'
said Ortheris with an oath.

' Maybe you were dhrunk,' said Mulvaney soothingly.

' Worse nor that. The Forders were drunk. I was
wearin' the Queen's uniform.'

' I'd no particular thought to be a soldier i' them
days,' said Learoyd, still keeping his eye on the bare hill
opposite, ' but this sort o' talk put it i' my head. They
was so good, th' chapel folk, that they tumbled ower
t'other side. But I stuck to it for 'Liza's sake, specially
as she was learning me to sing the bass part in a horo-
torio as Jesse were gettin' up. She sung like a throstle
hersen, and we had practising night after night for a
matter of three months.'

' I know what a horotorio is,' said Ortheris pertly.
' It's a sort of chaplain's sing-song — words all out of the
Bible, and hullabaloojah choruses.'

'Most Greenhow Hill folks played some instrument
or t'other, an' they all sung so you might have heard them
miles away, and they were so pleased wi' the noise they
made they didn't fair to want anybody to listen. The
preacher sung high seconds when he wasn't playin' the
flute, an' they set me, as hadn't got far with big fiddle,
again Willie Satterthwaite, to jog his elbow when he had
to get a' gate playin'. Old Jesse was happy if ever a
man was, for he were th' conductor an' th' first fiddle an'
th' leadin' singer, beatin' time wi' his fiddle-stick, till at
times he'd rap with it on the table, and cry out, " Now,
you mun all stop ; it's my turn." And he'd face round
to his front, fair sweating wi' pride, to sing th' tenor solos.
But he were grandest i' th' choruses, waggin' his head,

78 LIFE'S HANDICAP

flinging his arms round like a windmill, and singin' hisself
black in the face. A rare singer were Jesse.

' Yo' see, I was not o' much account wi' 'em all ex-
ceptin' to 'Liza Eoantree, and I had a deal o' time settin'
quiet at meetings and horotorio practises to hearken their
talk, and if it were strange to me at beginning it got
stranger still at after, when I was shut on it, and could
study what it meaned.

' Just after th' horotorios come off, 'Liza, as had allus
been weakly like, was took very bad. I walked Dr.
Warbottom's horse up and down a deal of times while he
were inside, where they wouldn't let me go, though I fair
ached to see her.

' " She'll be better i' noo, lad — better i' noo," he used
to say. " Tha mun ha' patience." Then they said if I
was quiet I might go in, and th' Eeverend Amos Barra-
clough used to read to her lyin' propped up among th'
pillows. Then she began to mend a bit, and they let
me carry her on to th' settle, and when it got warm again
she went about same as afore. Th' preacher and me and
Blast was a deal together i' them days, and i' one way
we was rare good comrades. But I could ha' stretched
him time and again with a good will. I mind one day
he said he would like to go down into th' bowels o' th'
earth, and see how th' Lord had builded th' framework o'
th' everlastin' hills. He were one of them chaps as -had
a gift o' sayin' things. They rolled off the tip of his
clever tongue, same as Mulvaney here, as would ha' made
a rare good preacher if he had nobbut given his mind
to it. I lent him a suit o' miner's kit as almost buried
th' little man, and his white face down i' th' coat-collar
and hat-flap looked like the face of a boggart, and he
cowered down i' th' bottom o' the waggon. I was drivin'
a tram as led up a bit of an incline up to th' cave where

ON GKEENHOW HILL 79

the engine was pumpin', and where th' ore was brought
up and put into th' waggons as went down o' themselves,
me puttin' th' brake on and th' horses a-trottin' after.
Long as it was daylight we were good friends, but when
we got fair into th' dark, and could nobbut see th' day
shinin' at the hole like a lamp at a street-end, I feeled
downright wicked. Ma religion dropped all away from
me when I looked back at him as were always comin'
between me and 'Liza. The talk was 'at they were to be
wed when she got better, an' I couldn't get her to say
yes or nay to it. He began to sing a hymn in his thin
voice, and I came out wi' a chorus that was all cussin'
an' swearin' at my horses, an' I began to know how I
hated him. He were such a little chap, too. I could
drop him wi' one hand down Garstang's Copper-hole —
a place where th' beck slithered ower th' edge on a rock,
and fell wi' a bit of a whisper into a pit as no rope i'
Greenhow could plump.'

Again Learoyd rooted up the innocent violets. ' Ay,
he should see th' bowels o' th' earth an' never naught
else. I could take him a mile or two along th' drift, and
leave him wi' his candle doused to cry hallelujah, wi'
none to hear him and say amen. I was to lead him
down th' ladder -way to th' drift where Jesse Eoantree
was workin', and why shouldn't he slip on th' ladder, wi'
my feet on his fingers till they loosed grip, and I put him
down wi' my heel? If I went fust down th' ladder I
could click hold on him and chuck him over my head,
so as he should go squshin' down the shaft, breakin' his
bones at ev'ry timberin' as Bill Appleton did when he was
fresh, and hadn't a bone left when he wrought to th'
bottom. Mver a blasted leg to walk from Pately. Niver
an arm to put round 'Liza Eoantree's waist. Niver no
more — niver no more.'

80 LIFE'S HANDICAP

The thick lips curled back over the yellow teeth, and
that flushed face was not pretty to look upon. Mulvaney
nodded sympathy, and Ortheris, moved by his comrade's
passion, brought up the rifle to his shoulder, and searched
the hillside for his quarry, muttering ribaldry about a
sparrow, a spout, and a thunder-storm. The voice of
the watercourse supplied the necessary small talk till
Learoyd picked up his story.

' But it's none so easy to kill a man like yon.
When I'd given up my horses to th' lad as took my place
and I was showin' th' preacher th' workin's, shoutin' into
his ear across th' clang o' th' pumpin' engines, I saw he
were afraid o' naught ; and when the lamplight showed
his black eyes, I could feel as he was masterin' me again.
I were no better nor Blast chained up short and growlin'
i' the depths of him while a strange dog went safe past.

' " Th'art a coward and a fool," I said to mysen ; an'
I wrestled i' my mind again' him till, when we come to
Garstang's Copper-hole, I laid hold o' the preacher and
lifted him up over my head and held him into the darkest
on it. " Now, lad," I says, " it's to be one or t'other on
us — thee or me — for 'Liza Eoantree. Why, isn't thee
afraid for thysen?" I says, for he were still i' my arms as
a sack. " Nay ; I'm but afraid for thee, my poor lad, as
knows naught," says he. I set him down on th' edge,
an' th' beck run stiller, an' there was no more buzzin'
in my head like when th' bee come through th' window
o' Jesse's house. " What dost tha mean ? " says I.

' " I've often thought as thou ought to know," says he,
" but 'twas hard to tell thee. 'Liza Eoantree's for neither
on us, nor for nobody o' this earth. Dr. Warbottom says
— and he knows her, and her mother before her — that
she is in a decline, and she cannot live six months longer.
He's known it for many a day. Steady, John ! Steady ! "

ON GREENHOW HILL 81

says he. And that weak little man pulled me further
back and set me again' him, and talked it all over quiet
and still, me turnin' a bunch o' candles in my hand, and
counting them ower and ower again as I listened. A
deal on it were th' regular preachin' talk, but there were
a vast lot as made me begin to think as he were more of
a man than I'd ever given him credit for, till I were cut
as deep for him as I were for mysen.

' Six candles we had, and we crawled and climbed all
that day while they lasted, and I said to mysen, " 'Liza
Eoantree hasn't six months to live." .And when we came
into th' daylight again we were like dead men to look at,
an' Blast come behind us without so much as waggin' his
tail. When I saw 'Liza again she looked at me a minute
and says, "Who's telled tha ? For I see tha knows."
And she tried to smile as she kissed me, and I fair broke
down.

' Yo'see, I was a young chap i' them days, and had
seen naught o' life, let alone death, as is allus a-waitin'.
She telled me as Dr. Warbottom said as Greenhow air
was too keen, and they were goin' to Bradford, to Jesse's
brother David, as worked i' a mill, and I mun hold up
like a man and a Christian, and she'd pray for me. Well,
and they went away, and the preacher that same back
end o' th' year were appointed to another circuit, as they
call it, and I were left alone on Greenhow Hill.

' I tried, and I tried hard, to stick to th' chapel, but
'tweren't th' same thing at after. I hadn't 'Liza's voice
to follow i' th' singin', nor her eyes a'shinin' acrost their
heads. And i' th' class-meetings they said as I mun have
some experiences to tell, and I hadn't a word to say for
mysen.

' Blast and me moped a good deal, and happen we
didn't behave ourselves over well, for they dropped us,

G

82 LIFE'S HANDICAP

and wondered however they'd come to take us up. I
can't tell how we got through th' time/ while i' th' winter
I gave up my job and went to Bradford. Old Jesse were
at th' door o' th' house, in a long street o' little houses.
He'd been sendin' th' children 'way as were clatterin'
their clogs in th' causeway, for she were asleep.

' " Is it thee ? " he says ; " but you're not to see her.
I'll none have her wakened for a nowt like thee. She's
goin' fast, and she mun go in peace. Thou'lt never be
good for naught i' th' world, and as long as thou lives
thou'll never play the big fiddle. Get away, lad, get
away ! " So he shut the door softly i' my face.

' Nobody never made Jesse my master, but it seemed
to me he was about right, and I went away into the town
and knocked up against a recruiting sergeant. The old
tales o' th' chapel folk came buzzin' into my head. I
was to get away, and this were th' regular road for the
likes o' me. I listed there and then, took th' Widow's
shillin', and had a bunch o' ribbons pinned i' my hat.

' But next day I found my way to David Eoantree's
door, and Jesse came to open it. Says he, " Thou's come
back again wi' th' devil's colours flyin' — thy true colours,
as I always telled thee."

' But I begged and prayed of him to let me see her
nobbut to say good-bye, till a woman calls down th' stair
way, " She says John Learoyd's to come up." Th' old
man shifts aside in a flash, and lays his hand on my arm,
quite gentle like. " But thou'lt be quiet, John," says he,
" for she's rare and weak. Thou was allus a good lad."

' Her eyes were all alive wi' light, and her hair was
thick on the pillow round her, but her cheeks were thin
— thin to frighten a man that's strong. "Nay, father,
yo mayn't say th' devil's colours. Them ribbons is
pretty." An' she held out her hands for th' hat, an' she

ON GREENHOW HILL 83

put all straight as a woman will wi' ribbons. " Nay, but
what they're pretty," she says. " Eh, but I'd ha' liked to
see thee i' thy red coat, John, for thou was allus my
own lad — my very own lad, and none else."

' She lifted up her arms, and they come round my
neck i' a gentle grip, and they slacked away, and she
seemed fainting. " Now yo' mun get away, lad," says
Jesse, and I picked up my hat and I came downstairs.

' Th' recruiting sergeant were waitin' for me at th'
corner public -house. " Yo've seen your sweetheart?"
says he. "Yes, I've seen her," says I. "Well, we'll
have a quart now, and you'll do your best to forget her,"
says he, bein' one o' them smart, bustlin' chaps. " Ay,
sergeant," says I. "Forget her." And I've been for
ge ttin' her ever since.'

He threw away the wilted clump of white violets as
he spoke. Ortheris suddenly rose to his knees, his rifle
at his shoulder, and peered across the valley in the clear
afternoon light. His chin cuddled the stock, and there
was a twitching of the muscles of the right cheek as he
sighted ; Private Stanley Ortheris was engaged on his
business. A speck of white crawled up the watercourse.

' See that beggar ? . . . Got 'im.'

Seven hundred yards away, and a full two hundred
down the hillside, the deserter of the Aurangabadis
pitched forward, rolled down a red rock, and lay very still,
with his face in a clump of blue gentians, while a big
raven flapped out of the pine wood to make investigation.

' That's a clean shot, little man/ said Mulvaney.

Learoyd thoughtfully watched the smoke clear away.
' Happen there was a lass tewed up wi' him, too,' said he.

Ortheris did not reply. He was staring across the
valley, with the smile of the artist who looks on the
completed work.

THE MAN WHO WAS

The Earth gave up her dead that tide,

Into our camp he came,
And said his say, and went his way,

And left our hearts aflame.

Keep tally — on the gun-butt score

The vengeance we must take,
When God shall bring full reckoning,

For our dead comrade's s£ke.

Ballad.

LET it be clearly understood that the Russian is a delight
ful person till he tucks in his shirt. As an Oriental he
is charming. It is only when he insists upon being
treated as the most easterly of western peoples instead of
the most westerly of easterns that he becomes a racial
anomaly extremely difficult to handle. The host never
knows which side of his nature is going to turn up
next.

Dirkovitch was a Russian — a Russian of the Russians
— who appeared to get his bread by serving the Czar as
an officer in a Cossack regiment, and corresponding for a
Russian newspaper with a name that was never twice
alike. He was a handsome young Oriental, fond of
wandering through unexplored portions of the earth, and
he arrived in India from nowhere in particular. At least
no living man could ascertain whether it was by way of
Balkh, Badakshan, Chitral, Beluchistan, or Nepaul, or

THE MAN WHO WAS 85

anywhere else. The Indian Government, being in an
unusually affable mood, gave orders that he was to be
civilly treated and shown everything that was to be seen.
So he drifted, talking bad English and worse French, from
one city to another, till he foregathered with Her Majesty's
White Hussars in the city of Peshawur, which stands at
the mouth of that narrow swordcut in the hills that men
call the Khyber Pass. He was undoubtedly an officer,
and he was decorated after the manner of the Eussians
with little enamelled crosses, and he could talk, and
(though this has nothing to do with his merits) he had
been given up as a hopeless task, or cask, by the Black
Tyrone, who individually and collectively, with hot whisky
and honey, mulled brandy, and mixed spirits of every
kind, had striven in all hospitality to make him drunk.
And when the Black Tyrone, who are exclusively Irish,
fail to disturb the peace of head of a foreigner — that
foreigner is certain to be a superior man.

The White Hussars were as conscientious in choosing
their wine as in charging the enemy. All that they
possessed, including some wondrous brandy, was placed at
the absolute disposition of Dirkovitch, and he enjoyed
himself hugely — even more than among the Black
Tyrones.

But he remained distressingly European through it all.
The White Hussars were ' My dear true friends/ ' Fellow-
soldiers glorious/ and ' Brothers inseparable/ He would
unburden himself by the hour on the glorious future that
awaited the combined arms of England and Eussia when
their hearts and their territories should run side by side
and the great mission of civilising Asia should begin.
That was unsatisfactory, because Asia is not going to be
civilised after the methods of the West. There is too
much Asia and she is too old. You cannot reform a

86 LIFE'S HANDICAP

lady of many lovers, and Asia has been insatiable in her
flirtations aforetime. She will never attend Sunday
school or learn to vote save with swords for tickets.

Dirkovitch knew this as well as any one else, but it
suited him to talk special-correspondently and to make
himself as genial as he could. Now and then he volun
teered a little a very little information about his own
sotnia of Cossacks, left apparently to look after themselves
somewhere at the back of beyond. He had done rough
work in Central Asia, and had seen rather more help-
yourself fighting than most men of his years. But he
was careful never to betray his superiority, and more than
careful to praise on all occasions the appearance, drill,
uniform, and organisation of Her Majesty's White Hussars.
And indeed they were a regiment to be admired. When
Lady Durgan, widow of the late Sir John Durgan, arrived
in their station, and after a short time had been proposed
to by every single man at mess, she put the public senti
ment very neatly when she explained that they were all
so nice that unless she could marry them all, including
the colonel and some majors already married, she was not
going to content herself with one hussar. Wherefore
she wedded a little man in a rifle regiment, being by
nature contradictious ; and the White Hussars were going
to wear crape on their arms, but compromised by attend
ing the wedding in full force, and lining the aisle with
unutterable reproach. She had jilted them all — from
Basset -Holmer the senior captain to little Mildred the
junior subaltern, who could have given her four thousand
a year and a title.

The only persons who did not share the general regard
for the White Hussars were a few thousand gentlemen of
Jewish extraction who lived across the border, and
answered to the name of Pathan. They had once met

THE MAN WHO WAS 87

the regiment officially and for something less than twenty
minutes, but the interview, which was complicated with
many casualties, had filled them with prejudice. They
even called the White Hussars children of the devil and
sons of persons whom it would be perfectly impossible to
meet in decent society. Yet they were not above making
their aversion fill their money -belts. The regiment
possessed carbines — beautiful Martini-Henri carbines that
would lob a bullet into an enemy's camp at one thousand
yards, and were even handier than the long rifle. There
fore they were coveted all along the border, and since
demand inevitably breeds supply, they were supplied at
the risk of life and limb for exactly their weight in coined
silver — seven and one half pounds weight of rupees, or
sixteen pounds sterling reckoning the rupee at par. They
were stolen at night by snaky-haired thieves who crawled
on their stomachs under the nose of the sentries ; they
disappeared mysteriously from locked arm-racks, and in
the hot weather, when all the barrack doors and windows
were open, they vanished like puffs of their own smoke.
The border people desired them for family vendettas and
contingencies. But in the long cold nights of the northern
Indian winter they were stolen most extensively. The
traffic of murder was liveliest among the hills at that
season, and prices ruled high. The regimental guards
were first doubled and then trebled. A trooper does not
much care if he loses a weapon — Government must make
it good — but he deeply resents the loss of his sleep. The
regiment grew very angry, and one rifle-thief bears the
visible marks of their anger upon him to this hour. That
incident stopped the burglaries for a time, and the guards
were reduced accordingly, and the regiment devoted itself
to polo with unexpected results ; for it beat by two goals
to one that very terrible polo corps the Lushkar Light

88 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Horse, though the latter had four ponies apiece for a short
hour's fight, as well as a native officer who played like a
lambent flame across the ground.

They gave a dinner to celebrate the event. The
Lushkar team came, and Dirkovitch came, in the
fullest full uniform of a Cossack officer, which is as
full as a dressing-gown, and was introduced to the
Lushkars, and opened his eyes as he regarded. They
were lighter men than the Hussars, and they carried
themselves with the swing that is the peculiar right
of the Punjab1 Frontier Force and all Irregular Horse.
Like everything else in the Service it has to be learnt,
but, unlike many things, it is never forgotten, and
remains on the body till death.

The great beam -roofed mess-room of the White
Hussars was a sight to be remembered. All the
mess plate was out on the long table — the same table
that had served up the bodies of five officers after a
forgotten fight long and long ago — the dingy, battered
standards faced the door of entrance, clumps of winter-
roses lay between the silver candlesticks, and the
portraits of eminent officers deceased looked down on
their successors from between the heads of sambhur,
nilghai, markhor, and, pride of all the mess, two
grinning snow -leopards that had cost Basset -Holmer
four months' leave that he might have spent in
England, instead of on the road to Thibet and the
daily risk of his life by ledge, snow-slide, and grassy
slope.

The servants in spotless white muslin and the
crest of their regiments on the brow of their turbans
waited behind their masters, who were clad in the
scarlet and gold of the White Hussars, and the cream
and silver of the Lushkar Light Horse. Dirkovitch's

THE MAN WHO WAS 89

dull green uniform was the only dark spot at the
board, but his big onyx eyes made up for it. He
was fraternising effusively with the captain of the
Lushkar team, who was wondering how many of
Dirkovitch's Cossacks his own dark wiry down-country
men could account for in a fair charge. But one does
not speak of these things openly.

The talk rose higher and higher, and the regimental
band played between the courses, as is the immemorial
custom, till all tongues ceased for a moment with the
removal of the dinner-slips and the first toast of obli
gation, when an officer rising said, 'Mr. Vice, the
Queen/ and little Mildred from the bottom of the
table answered, ' The Queen, God bless her/ and the
big spurs clanked as the big men heaved themselves
up and drank the Queen upon whose pay they were
falsely supposed to settle their mess -bills. That
Sacrament of the Mess never grows old, and never
ceases to bring a lump into the throat of the listener
wherever he be by sea or by land. Dirkovitch rose
with his ' brothers glorious/ but he could not under
stand. No one but an officer can tell what the toast
means ; and the bulk have more sentiment than com
prehension. Immediately after the little silence that
follows on the ceremony there entered the native
officer who had played for the Lushkar team. He
could not, of course, eat with the mess, but he came
in at dessert, all six feet of him, with the blue and
silver turban atop, and the big black boots below.
The mess rose joyously as he thrust forward the hilt
of his sabre in token of fealty for the colonel of the
White Hussars to touch, and dropped into a vacant
chair amid shouts of : ' Rung ho, Hira Singh ! ' (which
being translated means 'Go in and win '). ' Did I

90 LIFE'S HANDICAP

whack you over the knee, old man ? ' ' Eessaidar
Sahib, what the devil made you play that kicking
pig of a pony in the last ten minutes ? ' ' Shabasli,
Eessaidar Sahib ! ' Then the voice of the colonel,
' The health of Eessaidar Hira Singh ! '

After the shouting had died away Hira Singh rose
to reply, for he was the cadet of a royal house, the son
of a king's son, and knew what was due on these
occasions. Thus he spoke in the vernacular : — ' Colonel
Sahib and officers of this regiment. Much honour
have you done me. This will I remember. We
came down from afar to play you. But we were
beaten ' (' No fault of yours, Eessaidar Sahib. Played
on our own ground y' know. Your ponies were cramped
from the railway. Don't apologise ! ') ' Therefore per
haps we will come again if it be so ordained/ (' Hear !
Hear ! Hear, indeed ! Bravo ! Hsh ! ') ' Then we will
play you afresh ' (' Happy to meet you.') ' till there
are left no feet upon our ponies. Thus far for sport.'
He dropped one hand on his sword-hilt and his eye
wandered to Dirkovitch lolling back in his chair. ' But
if by the will of God there arises any other game which
is not the polo game, then be assured, Colonel Sahib and
officers, that we will play it out side by side, though they'
again his eye sought Dirkovitch; ' though they I say have
fifty ponies to our one horse.' And with a deep-mouthed
Rung ho ! that sounded like a musket-butt on flagstones
he sat down amid leaping glasses.

Dirkovitch, who had devoted himself steadily to the
brandy — the terrible brandy aforementioned — did not
understand, nor did the expurgated translations offered
to him at all convey the point. Decidedly Hira Singh's
was the speech of the evening, and the clamour might
have continued to the dawn had it not been broken by

THE MAN WHO WAS 91

the noise of a shot without that sent every man feeling
at his defenceless left side. Then there was a scuffle and
a yell of pain.

' Carbine -stealing again!' said the adjutant, calmly
sinking back in his chair. ' This comes of reducing the
guards. I hope the sentries have killed him.'

The feet of armed men pounded on the verandah flags,
and it was as though something was being dragged.

' Why don't they put him in the cells till the morn
ing ? ' said the colonel testily. ' See if they've damaged
him, sergeant.'

The mess sergeant fled out into the darkness and
returned with two troopers and a corporal, all very much
perplexed.

1 Caught a man stealin' carbines, sir/ said the corporal.
'Leastways 'e was crawlin' towards the barricks, sir, past
the main road sentries, an' the sentry 'e sez, sir '

The limp heap of rags upheld by the three men
groaned. Never was seen so destitute and demoralised
an Afghan. He was turbanless, shoeless, caked with
dirt, and all but dead with rough handling. Hira Singh
started slightly at the sound of the man's pain. Dirko-
vitch took another glass of brandy.

' Wliat does the sentry say ? ' said the colonel.

' Sez 'e speaks English, sir,' said the corporal.

' So you brought him into mess instead of handing
him over to the sergeant ! If he spoke all the Tongues of
the Pentecost you've no business '

Again the bundle groaned and muttered. Little
Mildred had risen from his place to inspect. He
jumped back as though he had been shot.

* Perhaps it would be better, sir, to send the men
away,' said he to the colonel, for he was a much
privileged subaltern. He put his arms round the rag-

92 LIFE'S HANDICAP

bound horror as he spoke, and dropped him into a
chair. It may not have been explained that the
littleness of Mildred lay in his being six feet four
and big in proportion. The corporal seeing that an
officer was disposed to look after the capture, and
that the colonel's eye was beginning to blaze, promptly
removed himself and his men. The mess was left
alone with the carbine -thief, who laid his head on
the table and wept bitterly, hopelessly, and incon-
solably, as little children weep.

Hira Singh leapt to his feet. ' Colonel Sahib,' said
he, ' that man is no Afghan, for they weep Ail Ail
Nor is he of Hindustan, for they weep Oh ! Ho !
He weeps after the fashion of the white men, who
say Ow ! Ow ! '

'Now where the dickens did you get that know-
lege, Hira Singh ? ' said the captain of the Lushkar
team.

' Hear him ! ' said Hira Singh simply, pointing at
the crumpled figure that wept as though it would
never cease.

<He said, "My God!'" said little Mildred. 'I
heard him say it.'

The colonel and the mess-room looked at the man
in silence. It is a horrible thing to hear a man
cry. A woman can sob from the top of her palate,
or her lips, or anywhere else, but a man must cry from
his diaphragm, and it rends him to pieces.

' Poor devil ! ' said the colonel, coughing tremendously.
' We ought to send him to hospital. He's been man
handled.'

Now the adjutant loved his carbines. They were
to him as his grandchildren, the men standing in the
first place. He grunted rebelliously : ' I can under-

THE MAN WHO WAS 93

stand an Afghan stealing, because he's built that way.
But I can't understand his crying. That makes it
worse/

The brandy must have affected Dirkovitch, for he
lay back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. There
was nothing special in the ceiling beyond a shadow
as of a huge black coffin. Owing to some peculiarity
in the construction of the mess-room this shadow was
always thrown when the candles were lighted. It
never disturbed the digestion of the White Hussars.
They were in fact rather proud of it.

' Is he going to cry all night ? ' said the colonel,
'or are we supposed to sit up with little Mildred's
guest until he feels better ? '

The man in the chair threw up his head and stared
at the mess. ' Oh, my God ! ' he said, and every soul
in the mess rose to his feet. Then the Lushkar captain
did a deed for which he ought to have been given the
Victoria Cross — distinguished gallantry in a fight against
overwhelming curiosity. He picked up his team with his
eyes as the hostess picks up the ladies at the opportune
moment, and pausing only by the colonel's chair to say,
' This isn't our affair, you know, sir,' led them into the
verandah and the gardens. Hira Singh was the last to
go, and he looked at Dirkovitch. But Dirkovitch had
departed into a brandy -paradise of his own. His lips
moved without sound and he was studying the coffin on
the ceiling.

'White — white all over/ said Basset -Holmer, the
adjutant. ' What a pernicious renegade he must be 1
I wonder where he came from ? '

The colonel shook the man gently by the arm, and
' Who are you ? ' said he.

There was no answer. The man stared round the

94 LIFE'S HANDICAP

mess-room and smiled in the colonel's face. Little
Mildred, who was always more of a woman than a man
till ' Boot and saddle ' was sounded, repeated the question
in a voice that would have drawn confidences from a
geyser. The man only smiled. Dirkovitch at the far
end of the table slid gently from his chair to the floor.
No son of Adam in this present imperfect world can mix
the Hussars' champagne with the Hussars' brandy by five
and eight glasses of each without remembering the pit
whence he was digged and descending thither. The band
began to play the tune with which the White Hussars
from the date of their formation have concluded all their
functions. They would sooner be disbanded than abandon
that tune ; it is a part of their system. The man
straightened himself in his chair and drummed on the
table with his fingers.

' I don't see why we should entertain lunatics/ said
the colonel. ' Call a guard and send him off to the cells.
We'll look into the business in the morning. Give him a
glass of wine first though.'

Little Mildred filled a sherry-glass with the brandy
and thrust it over to the man. He drank, and the tune
rose louder, and he straightened himself yet more. Then
he put out his long-taloned hands to a piece of plate
opposite and fingered it lovingly. There was a mystery
connected with that piece of plate, in the shape of a spring
which converted what was a seven-branched candlestick,
three springs on each side and one in the middle, into a
sort of wheel-spoke candelabrum. He found the spring,
pressed it, and laughed weakly. He rose from his chair
and inspected a picture on the wall, then moved on to
another picture, the mess watching him without a word.
When he came to the mantelpiece he shook his head
and seemed distressed. A piece of plate representing a

THE MAN WHO WAS 95

mounted hussar in full uniform caught his eye. He
pointed to it, and then to the mantelpiece with inquiry
in his eyes.

' What is it — Oh what is it ? ' said little Mildred. Then
as a mother might speak to a child, ' That is a horse.
Yes, a horse/

Very slowly came the answer in a thick, passionless
guttural — 'Yes, I — have seen. But — where is the
horse ? '

You could have heard the hearts of the mess beating
as the men drew back to give the stranger full room in his
wanderings. There was no question of calling the guard.

Again he spoke — very slowly, ' Where is our horse ? '

There is but one horse in the White Hussars, and
his portrait hangs outside the door of the mess-room.
He is the piebald drum-horse, the king of the regimental
band, that served the regiment for seven-and-thirty years,
and in the end was shot for old age. Half the mess tore
the thing down from its place and thrust it into the man's
hands. He placed it above the mantelpiece, it clattered
on the ledge as his poor hands dropped it, and he staggered
towards the bottom of the table, falling into Mildred's chair.
Then all the men .spoke to one another something after
this fashion, ' The drum-horse hasn't hung over the
mantelpiece since '67.' ' How does he know ? ' ' Mildred,
go and speak to him again.' ' Colonel, what are you going
to do ? ' ' Oh, dry up, and give the poor devil a chance to
pull himself together.' ' It isn't possible anyhow. The
man's a lunatic/

Little Mildred stood at the colonel's side talking in his
ear. ' Will you be good enough to take your seats please,
gentlemen ! ' he said, and the mess dropped into the chairs.
Only Dirkovitch's seat, next to little Mildred's, was blank,
and little Mildred himself had found Hira Singh's place.

96 LIFE'S HANDICAP

The wide-eyed mess-sergeant filled the glasses in dead
silence. Once more the colonel rose, but his hand shook,
and the port spilled on the table as he looked straight at
the man in little Mildred's chair and said hoarsely, ' Mr.
Vice, the Queen.' There was a little pause, but the man
sprung to his feet and answered without hesitation, ' The
Queen, God bless her ! ' and as he emptied the thin glass
he snapped the shank between his fingers.

Long and long ago, when the Empress of India was a
young woman and there were no unclean ideals in the
land, it was the custom of a few messes to drink the Queen's
toast in broken glass, to the vast delight of the mess-
contractors. The custom is now dead, because there is
nothing to break anything for, except now and again the
word of a Government, and that has been broken already.

' That settles it,' said the colonel, with a gasp. ' He's
not a sergeant. What in the world is he ? '

The entire mess echoed the word, and the volley of
questions would have scared any man. It was no wonder
that the ragged, filthy invader could only smile and shake
his head.

From under the table, calm and smiling, rose Dirkovitch,
who had been roused from healthful slumber by feet upon
his body. By the side of the man he rose, and the man
shrieked and grovelled. It was a horrible sight coming
so swiftly upon the pride and glory of the toast that had
brought the strayed wits together.

Dirkovitch made no offer to raise him, but little Mildred
heaved him up in an instant. It is not good that a gentle
man who can answer to the Queen's toast should lie at the
feet of a subaltern of Cossacks.

The hasty action tore the wretch's upper clothing
nearly to the waist, and his body was seamed with dry
black scars. There is only one weapon in the world that

THE MAN WHO WAS 97

cuts in parallel lines, and it is neither the cane nor the
cat. Dirkovitch saw the marks, and the pupils of his
eyes dilated. Also his face changed. He said something
that sounded like Shto ve takete, and the man fawning
answered, Chetyre.

' What's that ? ' said everybody together.

' His number. That is number four, you know/
Dirkovitch spoke very thickly.

'What has a Queen's officer to do with a qualified
number ? ' said the Colonel, and an unpleasant growl ran
round the table.

' How can I tell ? ' said the affable Oriental with a
sweet smile. ' He is a — how you have it ? — escape — run-
a-way, from over there.' He nodded towards the darkness
of the night.

' Speak to him if he'll answer you, and speak to him
gently/ said little Mildred, settling the man in a chair.
It seemed most improper to all present that Dirkovitch
should sip brandy as he talked in purring, spitting Kussian
to the creature who answered so feebly and with such
evident dread. But since Dirkovitch appeared to under
stand no one said a word. All breathed heavily, leaning
forward, in the long gaps of the conversation. The next
time that they have no engagements on hand the White
Hussars intend to go to St. Petersburg in a body to learn
Eussian.

' He does not know how many years ago/ said Dirkovitch
facing the mess, ' but he says it was very long ago in a
war. I think that there was an accident. He says he
was of this glorious and distinguished regiment in the
war.'

' The rolls ! The rolls ! Holmer, get the rolls ! ' said
little Mildred, and the adjutant dashed off bare-headed to
the orderly-room, where the muster-rolls of the regiment

H

98 LIFE'S HANDICAP

were kept. He returned just in time to hear Dirkovitch
conclude, ' Therefore, my dear friends, I am most sorry to
say there was an accident which would have been repar
able if he had apologised to that our colonel, which he had
insulted/

Then followed another growl which the colonel tried
to beat down. The mess was in no mood just then to
weigh insults to Russian colonels.

' He does not remember, but I think that there was an
accident, and so he was not exchanged among the
prisoners, but he was sent to another place — how do you
say ? — the country. So, he says, he came here. He does
not know how he came. Eh ? He was at Chepany ' —
the man caught the word, nodded, and shivered — 'at
Zhigansk and Irkutsk. I cannot understand how he
escaped. He says, too, that he was in the forests for many
years, but how many years he has forgotten — that with
many things. It was an accident; done because he did
not apologise to that our colonel. Ah ! '

Instead of echoing Dirkovitch's sigh of regret, it is sad
to record that the White Hussars livelily exhibited un-
Christian delight and other emotions, hardly restrained
by their sense of hospitality. Holmer flung the frayed
and yellow regimental rolls on the table, and the men
flung themselves at these.

' Steady! Fifty-six — fifty-five — fifty-four,' said Holmer.
' Here we are. " Lieutenant Austin Limmason. Missing!'
That was before Sebastopol. What an infernal shame !
Insulted one of their colonels, and was quietly shipped
off. Thirty years of his life wiped out.'

' But he never apologised. Said he'd see him damned
first,' chorused the mess.

' Poor chap ! I suppose he never had the chance after
wards. How did he come here ? ' said the colonel.

THE MAN WHO WAS 99

The dingy heap in the chair could give no answer.

' Do you know who you are ? '

It laughed weakly.

' Do you know that you are Limmason — Lieutenant
Limmason of the White Hussars ? '

Swiftly as a shot came the answer, in a slightly
surprised tone, ' Yes, I'm Limmason, of course.' The light
died out in his eyes, and the man collapsed, watching
every motion of Dirkovitch with terror. A flight from
Siberia may fix a few elementary facts in the mind, but
it does not seem to lead to continuity of thought. The
man could not explain how, like a homing pigeon, he had
found his way to his own old mess again. Of what he
had suffered or seen he knew nothing. He cringed before
Dirkovitch as instinctively as he had pressed the spring
of the candlestick, sought the picture of the drum-horse,
and answered to the toast of the Queen. The rest was
a blank that the dreaded Russian tongue could only in
part remove. His head bowed on his breast, and he
giggled and cowered alternately.

The devil that lived in the brandy prompted Dirko
vitch at this extremely inopportune moment to make a
speech. He rose, swaying slightly, gripped the table-edge,
while his eyes glowed like opals, and began :

' Fellow-soldiers glorious — true friends and hospitables.
It was an accident, and deplorable — most deplorable.'
Here he smiled sweetly all round the mess. ' But you
will think of this little, little thing. So little, is it not ?
The Czar ! Posh ! I slap my fingers — I snap my fingers
at him. Do I believe in him ? No ! But in us Slav
who has done nothing, him I believe. Seventy — how
much — millions peoples that have done nothing — not
one thing. Posh ! Napoleon was an episode.' He
banged a hand on the table. ' Hear you, old peoples,

100 LIFE'S HANDICAP

we have done nothing in the world — out here. All
our work is to do; and it shall he done, old peoples.
Get a -way!' He waved his hand imperiously, and
pointed to the man. ' You see him. He is not good to
see. He was just one little — oh, so little — accident, that
no one remembered. Now he is That ! So will you he,
brother soldiers so brave — so will you be. But you
will never come back. You will all go where he is
gone, or ' — he pointed to the great coffin-shadow on the
ceiling, and muttering, ' Seventy millions — get a-way, you
old peoples,' fell asleep.

' Sweet, and to the point/ said little Mildred. ' What's
the use of getting wroth? Let's make this poor devil
comfortable.'

But that was a matter suddenly and swiftly taken
from the loving hands of the White Hussars. The lieu
tenant had returned only to go away again three days
later, when the wail of the Dead March, and the tramp
of the squadrons, told the wondering Station, who saw no
gap in the mess-table, that an officer of the regiment had
resigned his new-found commission.

And Dirkovitch, bland, supple, and always genial, went
away too by a night train. Little Mildred and another
man saw him off, for he was the guest of the mess, and
even had he smitten the colonel with- the open hand, the
law of that mess allowed no relaxation of hospitality.

'Good-bye, Dirkovitch, and a pleasant journey,' said
little Mildred.

' Au revoirj said the Russian.

' Indeed ! But we thought you were going home ? '

' Yes, but I will come again. My dear friends, is
that road shut ? ' He pointed to where the North Star
burned over the Khyber Pass.

' By Jove ! I forgot. Of course. Happy to meet

THE MAN WHO WAS 101

you, old man, any time you like. Got everything you
want ? Cheroots, ice, bedding ? That's all right. Well,
au revoir, Dirkovitch.'

' Urn,' said the other man, as the tail-lights of the
train grew small. ' Of — all — the — unmitigated ! '

Little Mildred answered nothing, but watched the
north star and hummed a selection from a recent
Simla burlesque that had much delighted the White
Hussars. It ran — •

I'm sorry for Mister Bluebeard,
I'm sorry to cause him pain ;
But a terrible spree there's sure to be
When he comes back again.

THE HEAD OF THE DISTEICT

There's a convict more in the Central Jail,

Behind the old mud wall ;
There's a lifter less on the Border trail,
And the Queen's Peace over all,

Dear boys,
The Queen's Peace over all.

For we must bear our leader's blame,

On us the shame will fall,
If we lift our hand from a fettered land
And the Queen's Peace over all,

Dear boys,
The Queen's Peace over all !

The Running of Shindand.

THE Indus had risen in flood without warning. Last
night it was a fordable shallow ; to-night five miles of
raving muddy water parted bank and caving bank, and
the river was still rising under the moon. A litter
borne by six bearded men, all unused to the work,
'stopped in the white sand that bordered the whiter plain.

' It's God's will/ they said. ' We dare not cross to
night, even in a boat. Let us light a fire and cook
food. We be tired men/

They looked at the litter inquiringly. Within, the
Deputy Commissioner of the Kot-Kumharsen district
lay dying of fever. They had brought him across
country, six fighting-men of a frontier clan that he had

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 103

won over to the paths of a moderate righteousness,
when he had broken down at the foot of their inhos
pitable hills. And Tallantire, his assistant, rode with
them, heavy-hearted as heavy-eyed with sorrow and lack
of sleep. He had served under the sick man for three
years, and had learned to love him as men associated in
toil of the hardest learn to love — or hate. Dropping
from his horse he parted the curtains of the litter and
peered inside.

' Orde — Orde, old man, can you hear? We have
to wait till the river goes down, worse luck.'

' I hear/ returned a dry whisper. ' Wait till the river
goes down. I thought we should reach camp before the
dawn. Polly knows. She'll meet me.'

One of the litter -men stared across the river and
caught a faint twinkle of light on the far side. He
whispered to Tallantire, ' There are his camp-fires, and
his wife. They will cross in the morning, for they have
better boats. Can he live so long ? '

Tallantire- shook his head. Yardley-Orde was very
near to death. What need to vex his soul with hopes
of a meeting that could not be? The river gulped at
the banks, brought down a cliff of sand, and snarled the
more hungrily. The litter-men sought for fuel in the
waste — dried camel-thorn and refuse of the camps that
had waited at the ford. Their sword-belts clinked as
they moved softly in the haze of the moonlight, and Tal-
lantire's horse coughed to explain that he would like a
blanket.

' I'm cold too,' said the voice from the litter. ' I
fancy this is the end. Poor Polly ! '

Tallantire rearranged the blankets ; Khoda Dad Khan,
seeing this, stripped off his own heavy- wadded sheepskin
coat and added it to the pile. ' I shall be warm by the

104 LIFE'S HANDICAP

fire presently,' said he. Tallantire took the wasted body
of his chief into his arms and held it against his breast.
Perhaps if they kept him very warm Orde might live
to see his wife once more. If only blind Providence
would send a three-foot fall in the river !

'That's better/ said Orde faintly. 'Sorry to be a
nuisance, but is — is there anything to drink ? '

They gave him milk and whisky, and Tallantire felt
a little warmth against his own breast. Orde began to
mutter.

' It isn't that I mind dying/ he said. ' It's leaving
Polly and the district. Thank God ! we have no children.
Dick, you know, I'm dipped — awfully dipped — debts in
my first five years' service. It isn't much of a pension,
but enough for her. She has her mother at home.
Getting there is the difficulty. And — and — you see, not
being a soldier's wife '

'We'll arrange the passage home, of course/ said
Tallantire quietly.

' It's not nice to think of sending round the hat ;
but, good Lord ! how many men I lie here and remem
ber that had to do it ! Morten's dead — he was of my
year. Shaughnessy is dead, and he had children ; I
remember he used to read us their school -letters ; what
a bore we thought him! Evans is dead — Kot-Kum-
harsen killed him! Eicketts of Myndonie is dead — and
I'm going too. " Man that is born of a woman is small
potatoes and few in the hill." That reminds me, Dick ;
the four Khusru Kheyl villages in our border want a
one -third remittance this spring. That's fair; their
crops are bad. See that they get it, and speak to Ferris
about the canal. I should like to have lived till that
was finished; it means so much for the North -Indus
villages — but Ferris is an idle beggar — wake him up.

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 105

You'll have charge of the district till my successor comes.
I wish they would appoint you permanently ; you know
the folk. I suppose it will be Bullows, though. 'Good
man, but too weak for frontier work ; and he doesn't
understand the priests. The blind priest at Jagai will
bear watching. You'll find it in my papers, — in the
uniform-case, I think. Call the Khusru Kheyl men up ;
I'll hold my last public audience. Khoda Dad Khan ! '

The leader of the men sprang to the side of the litter,
his companions following.

' Men, I'm dying,' said Orde quickly, in the vernacular ;
' and soon there will be no more Orde Sahib to twist
your tails and prevent you from raiding cattle.'

' God forbid this thing ! ' broke out the deep bass
chorus. ' The Sahib is not going to die/

' Yes, he is ; and then he will know whether Mahomed
speaks truth, or Moses. But you must be good men,
when I am not here. Such of you as live in our borders
must pay your taxes quietly as before. I have spoken of
the villages to be gently treated this year. Such of you
as live in the hills must refrain from cattle-lifting, and
burn no more thatch, and turn a deaf ear to the voice of
the priests, who, not knowing the strength of the Govern
ment, would lead you into foolish wars, wherein you will
surely die and your crops be eaten by strangers. And
you must not sack any caravans, and must leave your
arms at the police-post when you come in ; as has been
your custom, and my order. And Tallantire Sahib will
be with you, but I do not know who takes my place. I
speak now true talk, for I am as it were already dead,
my children, — for though ye be strong men, ye are
children/

' And thou art our father and our mother/ broke in
Khoda Dad Khan with an oath. 'What shall we do,

106 LIFE'S HANDICAP

now there is no one to speak for us, or to teach us to
go wisely ! '

' There remains Tallantire Sahib. Go to him ; he
knows your talk and your heart. Keep the young men
quiet, listen to the old men, and obey. Khoda Dad
Khan, take my ring. The watch and chain go to thy
brother. Keep those things for my sake, and I will
speak to whatever God I may encounter and tell him
that the Khusru Kheyl are good men. Ye have my
leave to go.'

Khoda Dad Khan, the ring upon his finger, choked
audibly as he caught the well-known formula that closed
an interview. His brother turned to look across the
river. The dawn was breaking, and a speck of white
showed on the dull silver of the stream. ' She comes,'
said the man under his breath. ' Can he live for another
two hours ? ' And he pulled the newly-acquired watch
out of his belt and looked uncomprehendingly at the
dial, as he had seen Englishmen do.

For two hours the bellying sail tacked and blundered
up and down the river, Tallantire still clasping Orde in
his arms, and Khoda Dad Khan chafing his feet. He
spoke now and again of the district and his^ wife, but, as
the end neared, more frequently of the latter. They
hoped he did not know that she was even then risk
ing her life in a crazy native boat to regain him. But
the awful foreknowledge of the dying deceived them.
Wrenching himself forward, Orde looked through the
curtains and saw how near was the sail. ' That's Polly,'
he said simply, though his mouth was wried with agony.
' Polly and — the grimmest practical joke ever played on a
man. Dick — you'll — have — to — explain/

And an hour later Tallantire met on the bank a
woman in a gingham riding-habit and a sun-hat who

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 107

cried out to him for her husband — her boy and her darling
— while Khoda Dad Khan threw himself face-down on
the sand and covered his eyes.

II

The very simplicity of the notion was its charm. What
more easy to win a reputation for far-seeing statesman
ship, originality, and, above all, deference to the desires
of the people, than by appointing a child of the country
to the rule of that country ? Two hundred millions of
the most loving and grateful folk under Her Majesty's
dominion would laud the fact, and their praise would
endure for ever. Yet he was indifferent to praise or
blame, as befitted the Very Greatest of All the Viceroys.
His administration was based upon principle, and the
principle must be enforced in season and out of season.
His pen and tongue had created the New India, teeming
with possibilities — loud-voiced, insistent, a nation among
nations — all his very own. Wherefore the Very Greatest
of All the Viceroys took another step in advance, and
with it counsel of those who should have advised him
on the appointment of a successor to Yardley-Orde.
There was a gentleman and a member of the Bengal Civil
Service who had won his place and a university degree
to boot in fair and open competition with the sons of
the English. He was cultured, of the world, and, if
report spoke truly, had wisely and, above all, sympatheti
cally ruled a crowded district in South-Eastern Bengal.
He had been to England and charmed many drawing-
rooms there. His name, if the Viceroy recollected aright,
was Mr. Grish Chunder De, M.A. In short, did anybody
see any objection to the appointment, always on principle,
of a man of the people to rule the people ? The district

108 LIFE'S HANDICAP

in South -Eastern Bengal might with advantage, he
apprehended, pass over to a younger civilian of Mr. G. C.
De's nationality (who had written a remarkably clever
pamphlet on the political value of sympathy in adminis
tration) ; and Mr. G. C. De could be transferred north
ward to Kot-Kumharsen. The Viceroy was averse, on
principle, to interfering with appointments under control
of the Provincial Governments. He wished it to be
understood that he merely recommended and advised in
this instance. As regarded the mere question of race,
Mr. Grish Chunder De was more English than the
English, and yet possessed of that peculiar sympathy
and insight which the best among the best Service in the
world could only win to at the end of their service.

The stern, black - bearded kings who sit about the
Council-board of India divided on the step, with the in
evitable result of driving the Very Greatest of All the
Viceroys into the borders of hysteria, and a bewildered
obstinacy pathetic as that of a child.

'The principle is sound enough,' said the weary-eyed
Head of the Eed Provinces in which Kot-Kumharsen lay,
for he too held theories. ' The only difficulty is—

' Put the screw on the District officials ; brigade De
with a very strong Deputy Commissioner on each side
of him ; give him the best assistant in the Province ;
rub the fear of God into the people beforehand ; and if
anything goes wrong, say that his colleagues didn't back
him up. All these lovely little experiments recoil on
the District- Officer in the end,' said the Knight of the
Drawn Sword with a truthful brutality that made the
Head of the Eed Provinces shudder. And on a tacit
understanding of this kind the transfer was accomplished,
as quietly as might be for many reasons.

It is sad to think that what goes for public opinion

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 109

in India did not generally see the wisdom of the Viceroy's
appointment. There were not lacking indeed hireling
organs, notoriously in the pay of a tyrannous bureaucracy,
who more than hinted that His Excellency was a fool,
a dreamer of dreams, a doctrinaire, and, worst of all, a
trifler with the lives of men. ' The Viceroy's Excellence
Gazette,' published in Calcutta, was at pains to thank
' Our beloved Viceroy for once more and again thus
gloriously vindicating the potentialities of the Bengali
nations for extended executive and administrative duties
in foreign parts beyond our ken. We do not at all
doubt that our excellent fellow -townsman, Mr. Grish
Chunder De, Esq., M.A., will uphold the prestige of the
Bengali, notwithstanding what underhand intrigue and
peslibundi may be set on foot to insidiously nip his fame
and blast his prospects among the proud civilians, some
of which will now have to serve under a despised native
and take orders too. How will you like that, Misters ?
We entreat our beloved Viceroy still to substantiate
himself superiorly to race-prejudice and colour-blindness,
and to allow the flower of this now our Civil Service all
the full pays and allowances granted to his more fortunate
brethren/

III

' When does this man take over charge ? I'm alone just
now, and I gather that I'm to stand fast under him.'

' Would you have cared for a transfer ? ' said Bullows
keenly. Then, laying his hand on Tallantire's shoulder :
' We're all in the same boat ; don't desert us. And yet,
why the devil should you stay, if you can get another
charge ?

' It was Orde's,' said Tallantire simply.

' Well, it's De's now. He's a Bengali of the Bengalis, .

110 LIFE'S HANDICAP

crammed with code and case law ; a beautiful man so far
as routine and deskwork go, and pleasant to talk to.
They naturally have always kept him in his own home
district, where all his sisters and his cousins and his
aunts lived, somewhere south of Dacca. He did no more
than turn the place into a pleasant little family preserve,
allowed his subordinates to do what they liked, and let
everybody have a chance at the shekels. Consequently
he's immensely popular down there.'

' I've nothing to do with that. How on earth am I to
explain to the district that they are going to be governed
by a Bengali ? Do you — does the Government, I mean
— suppose that the Khusru Kheyl will sit quiet when
they once know ? What will the Mahomedan heads of
villages say ? How will the police — Muzbi Sikhs and
Pathans — how will they work under him ? We couldn't
say anything if the Government appointed a sweeper ;
but my people will say a good deal, you know that. It's
a piece of cruel folly I '

'My dear boy, I know all that, and more. I've re
presented it, and have been told that I am exhibiting
" culpable and puerile prejudice." By Jove, if the
Khusru Kheyl don't exhibit something worse than that
I don't know the Border I The chances are that you
will have the district alight on your hands, and I shall
have to leave my work and help you pull through. I
needn't ask you to stand by the Bengali man in every
possible way. You'll do that for your own sake.'

' For Orde's. I can't say that I care twopence
personally.'

'Don't be an ass. It's grievous enough, God knows,
and the Government will know later on ; but that's no
reason for your sulking. You must try to run the district ;
you must stand between him and as much insult as

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 111

A

possible ; you must show him the ropes ; you must pacify
the Khusru Kheyl, and just warn Curbar of the Police to
look out for trouble by the way. I'm always .at the end
of a telegraph-wire, and willing to peril my reputation
to hold the district together. You'll lose yours, of course.
If you keep things straight, and he isn't actually beaten
with a stick when he's on tour, he'll get all the credit.
If anything goes wrong, you'll be told that you didn't
support him loyally.'

' I know what I've got to do/ said Tallantire wearily,
' and I'm going to it. But it's hard.

' The work is with us, the event is with Allah, — as
Orde used to say when he was more than usually in hot
water.' And Bullows rode away.

That two gentlemen in Her Majesty's Bengal Civil
Service should thus discuss a third, also in that service,
and a cultured and affable man withal, seems strange and
saddening. Yet listen to the artless babble of the Blind
Mullah of Jagai, the priest of the Khusru Kheyl, sitting
upon a rock overlooking the Border. Five years before,
a chance -hurled shell from a screw -gun battery had
dashed earth in the face of the Mullah, then urging a rush
of Ghazis against half a dozen British bayonets. So he
became blind, and hated the English none the less for the
little accident. _Yardley-Orde knew his failing, and had
many times laughed at him therefor.

' Dogs you are,' said the Blind Mullah to the listening
tribesmen round the fire. ' Whipped dogs ! Because you
listened to Orde Sahib and called him father and behaved
as his children, the British Government have proven how
they regard you. Orde Sahib ye know is dead.'

* Ai ! ai ! ai ! ' said half a dozen voices.

' He was a man. Comes now in his stead, whom think
ye ? A Bengali of Bengal — an eater of fish from the South.'

112 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' A lie ! ' said Khoda Dad Khan. ' And but for the
small matter of thy priesthood, I'd drive my gun butt-
first down thy throat/

' Oho, art thou there, lickspittle of the English ? Go
in to-morrow across the Border to pay service to Orde
Sahib's successor, and thou shalt slip thy shoes at the
tent-door of a Bengali, as thou shalt hand thy offering to
a Bengali's black fist. This I know ; and in my youth,
when a young man spoke evil to a Mullah holding the
doors of Heaven and Hell, the gun-butt was not rammed
down the Mullah's gullet. No ! '

The Blind Mullah hated Khoda Dad Khan with
Afghan hatred ; both being rivals for the headship of the
tribe ; but the latter was feared for bodily as the other for
spiritual gifts. Khoda Dad Khan looked at Orde's ring
and grunted, ' I go in to-morrow because I am not an old
fool, preaching war against the English. If the Govern
ment, smitten with madness, have done this, then . . .'

1 Then,' croaked the Mullah, ' thou wilt take out the
young men and strike at the four villages within the
Border ? '

' Or wring thy neck, black raven of Jehannum, for a
bearer of ill-tidings.'

Khoda Dad Khan oiled his long locks with great care,
put on his best Bokhara belt, a new turban-cap, and fine
green shoes, and accompanied by a few friends came
down from the hills to pay a visit to the new Deputy
Commissioner of Kot-Kumharsen. Also he bore tribute
— four or five priceless gold mohurs of Akbar's time in a
white handkerchief. These the Deputy Commissioner
would touch and remit. The little ceremony used to be
a sign that, so far as Khoda Dad Khan's personal influence
went, the Khusru Kheyl would be good boys, — till the
next time ; especially if Khoda Dad Khan happened to

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 113

like the new Deputy Commissioner. In Yardley-Orde's
consulship his visit concluded with a sumptuous dinner
and perhaps forbidden liquors ; certainly with some
wonderful tales and great good-fellowship. Then Khoda
Dad Khan would swagger back to his hold, vowing that
Orde Sahib was one prince and Tallantire Sahib another,
and that whosoever went a-raiding into British territory
would be flayed alive. On this occasion he found the
Deputy Commissioner's tents looking much as usual.
Regarding himself as privileged he strode through the
open door to confront a suave, portly Bengali in English
costume writing at a table. Unversed in the elevating
influence of education, and not in the least caring for
university degrees, Khoda Dad Khan promptly set the
man down for a Babu — the native clerk of the Deputy
Commissioner — a hated and despised animal.

' Ugh ! ' said he cheerfully. ' Where's your master,
Babujee ? '

' I am the Deputy Commissioner,' said the gentleman
in English.

Now he overvalued the effects of university degrees,
and stared Khoda Dad Khan in the face. But if from
your earliest infancy you have been accustomed to look
on battle, murder, and sudden death, if spilt blood affects
your nerves as much as red paint, and, above all, if you
have faithfully believed that the Bengali was the servant
of all Hindustan, and that all Hindustan was vastly in
ferior to your own large, lustful self, you can endure, even
though uneducated, a very large amount of looking over.
You can even stare down a graduate of an Oxford college
if the latter has been born in a hothouse, of stock bred
in a hothouse, and fearing physical pain as some men
fear sin ; especially if your opponent's mother has
frightened him to sleep in his youth with horrible stories

I

114 LIFE'S HANDICAP

of devils inhabiting Afghanistan, and dismal legends of
the black North. The eyes behind the gold spectacles
sought the floor. Khoda Dad Khan chuckled, and swung
out to find Tallantire hard by. ' Here,' said he roughly,
thrusting the coins before him, ' touch and remit. That
answers for my good behaviour. But, 0 Sahib, has the
Government gone mad to send a black Bengali dog to us ?
And am I to pay service to such an one ? And are you
to work under him ? What does it mean ? '

'It is an order/ said Tallantire. He had expected
something of this kind. ' He is a very clever S-sahib.'

' He a Sahib ! He's a Jcala admi — a black man —
unfit to run at the tail of a potter's donkey. All the
peoples of the earth have harried Bengal. It is written.
Thou knowest when we of the North wanted women or
plunder whither went we ? To Bengal — where else ?
What child's talk is this of Sahibdom — after Orde Sahib
too ! Of a truth the Blind Mullah was right/

' What of him ? ' asked Tallantire uneasily. He mis
trusted that old man with his dead eyes and his deadly
tongue.

'Nay, now, because of the oath that I sware to Orde
Sahib when we watched him die by the river yonder, I
will tell. In the first place, is it true that the English
have set the heel of the Bengali on their own neck, and
that there is no more English rule in the land ? '

' I am here,' said Tallantire, ' and I serve the Maha
ranee of England.'

' The Mullah said otherwise, and further that because
we loved Orde Sahib the Government sent us a pig to
show that we were dogs, who till now have been held by
the strong hand. Also that they were taking away the
white soldiers, that more Hindustanis might come, and
that all was changing/

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 115

This is the worst of ill-considered handling of a very
large country. What looks so feasible in Calcutta, so right
in Bombay, so unassailable in Madras, is misunderstood
by the North and entirely changes its complexion on the
banks of the Indus. Khoda Dad Khan explained as
clearly as he could that, though he himself intended to
be good, he really could not answer for the more reckless
members of his tribe under the leadership of the Blind
Mullah. They might or they might not give trouble,
but they certainly had no intention whatever of obeying
the new Deputy Commissioner. Was Tallantire perfectly
sure that in the event of any systematic border-raiding
tl;e force in the district could put it down promptly ?

' Tell the Mullah if he talks any more fool's talk/ said
Tallantire curtly, ' that he takes his men on to certain
death, and his tribe to blockade, trespass-fine, and blood-
money. But why do I talk to one who no longer carries
weight in the counsels of the tribe ? '

Khoda Dad Khan pocketed that insult. He had
learned something that he much wanted to know, and
returned to his hills to be sarcastically complimented by
the Mullah, whose tongue raging round the camp-fires was
deadlier flame than ever dung-cake fed.

IV

Be pleased to consider here for a moment the unknown
district of Kot-Kumharsen. It lay cut lengthways by
the Indus under the line of the Khusru hills-^-ramparts
of useless earth and tumbled stone. It was seventy miles
long by fifty broad, maintained a population of something
less than two hundred thousand, and paid taxes to the
extent of forty thousand pounds a year on an area that
was by rather more than half sheer, hopeless waste. The

116 LIFE'S HANDICAP

cultivators were not gentle people, the miners for salt
were less gentle still, and the cattle-breeders least gentle
of all. A police-post in the top right-hand corner and a
tiny mud fort in the top left-hand corner prevented as
much salt-smuggling and cattle-lifting as the influence of
the civilians could not put down ; and in the bottom
right-hand corner lay Jumala, the district headquarters
— a pitiful knot of lime-washed barns facetiously rented
as houses, reeking with frontier fever, leaking in the rain,
and ovens in the summer.

It was to this place that Grish Chunder Do was
travelling, there formally to take over charge of the district.
But the news of his coming had gone before. Bengalis
were as scarce as poodles among the simple Borderers,
who cut each other's heads open with their long spades
and worshipped impartially at Hindu and Mahomedan
shrines. They crowded to see him, pointing at him, and
diversely comparing him to a gravid milch -buffalo, or a
broken-down horse, as their limited range of metaphor
prompted. They laughed at his police-guard, and wished
to know how long the burly Sikhs were going to lead
Bengali apes. They inquired whether he had brought his
women with him, and advised him explicitly not to tamper
with theirs. It remained for a wrinkled hag by the road
side to slap her lean breasts as he passed, crying, ' I have
suckled six that could have eaten six thousand of him.
The Government shot them, and made this That a king ! '
Whereat a blue-turbaned huge -boned plough -mender
shouted, ' Have hope, mother o' mine ! He may yet go
the way of thy wastrels.' And the children, the little
brown puff-balls, regarded curiously. It was generally a
good thing for infancy to stray into Orde Sahib's tent,
where copper coins were to be won for the mere wishing,
and tales of the most authentic, such as even their mothers

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 117

knew but the first half of. No ! This fat black man
could never tell them how Pir Prith hauled the eye-teeth
out of ten devils ; how the big stones came to lie all in
a row on top of the Khusru hills, and what happened if
you shouted through the village-gate to the gray wolf at
even ' Badl Khas is dead.' Meantime Grish Chunder De"
talked hastily and much to Tallantire, after the manner
of those who are ' more English than the English/ — of
Oxford and ' home/ with much curious book -knowledge of
bump -suppers, cricket -matches, hunting- runs, and other
unholy sports of the alien. 'We must get these fellows
in hand/ he said once or twice uneasily ; ' get them well
in hand, and drive them on a tight rein. No use, you
know, being slack with your district/

And a moment later Tallantire heard Debendra Nath
De, who brotherliwise had followed his kinsman's fortune
and hoped for the shadow of his protection as a pleader,
whisper in Bengali, 'Better are dried fish at Dacca than
drawn swords at Delhi. Brother of mine, these men are
devils, as our mother said. Aiid you will always have to
ride upon a horse ! '

That night there was a public audience in a broken-
down little town thirty miles from Jumala, when the new
Deputy Commissioner, in reply to the greetings of the
subordinate native officials, delivered a speech. It was a
carefully thought-out speech, which would have been very
valuable had not his third sentence begun with three
innocent words, ' Samara hookum Juti — It is my order.'
Then there was a laugh, clear and bell-like, from the back
of the big tent, where a few border landholders sat, and
the laugh grew and scorn mingled with it, and the lean,
keen face of Debendra Nath De paled, and Grish Chunder
turning to Tallantire spake : ' You — you put up this
arrangement.' Upon that instant the noise of hoofs rang

118 LIFE'S HANDICAP

without, and there entered Curbar, the District Superin
tendent of Police, sweating and dusty. The State had
tossed him into a corner of the province for seventeen
weary years, there to check smuggling of salt, and to hope
for promotion that never came. He had forgotten how
to keep his white uniform clean, had screwed rusty spurs
into patent-leather shoes, and clothed his head indifferently
with a helmet or a turban. Soured, old, worn with heat
and cold, he waited till he should be entitled to sufficient
pension to keep him from starving.

' Tallantire,' said he, disregarding Grish Chunder De,
1 come outside. I want to speak to you.' They withdrew.
' It's this,' continued Curbar. ' The Khusru Kheyl have
rushed and cut up half a dozen of the coolies on Ferris's
new canal -embankment; killed a couple of men and
carried off a woman. I wouldn't trouble you about that
— Ferris is after them and Hugonin, my assistant, with
ten mounted police. But that's only the beginning, I
fancy. Their fires are out on the Hassan Ardeb heights,
and unless we're pretty quick there'll be a flare-up all
along our Border. They are sure to raid the four Khusru
villages on our side of the line : there's been bad blood
between them for years ; and you know the Blind Mullah
has been preaching a holy war since Orde went out.
What's your notion ? '

' Damn ! ' said Tallantire thoughtfully. < They've begun
quick. Well, it seems to me I'd better ride off to Fort
Ziar and get what men I can there to picket among
the lowland villages, if it's not too late. Tommy Dodd
commands at Fort Ziar, I think. Ferris and Hugonin

ought to teach the canal-thieves a lesson, and No,

we can't have the Head of the Police ostentatiously
guarding the Treasury. You go back to the canal. I'll
wire Bullows to come in to Jumala with a strong police-

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 119

guard, and sit on the Treasury. They won't touch the
place, but it looks well/

' I — 1 — I insist upon knowing what this means/ said
the voice of the Deputy Commissioner, who had followed
the speakers.

' Oh ! ' said Curbar, who being in the Police could not
understand that fifteen years of education must, on
principle, change the Bengali into a Briton. 'There has
been a fight on the Border, and heaps of men are killed.
There's going to be another fight, and heaps more will be
killed.'

'What for?'

' Because the teeming millions of this district don't
exactly approve of you, and think that under your benign
rule they are going to have a good time. It strikes me
that you had better make arrangements. I act, as you
know, by your orders. What do you advise ? '

' I — I take you all to witness that I have not yet
assumed charge of the district/ stammered the Deputy
Commissioner, not in the tones of the ' more English.'

' Ah, I thought so. Well, as I was saying, Tallantire,
your plan is sound. Carry it out. Do you want an escort ? '

' No ; only a decent horse. But how about wiring to
headquarters ? '

' I fancy, from the colour of his cheeks, that your
superior officer will send some wonderful telegrams before
the night's over. Let him do that, and we shall have
half the troops of the province coming up to see what's the
trouble. Well, run along, and take care of yourself — the
Khusru Kheyl jab upwards from below, remember. Ho !
Mir Khan, give Tallantire Sahib the best of the horses,
and tell five men to ride to Jurnala with the Deputy
Commissioner Sahib Bahadur. There is a hurry toward.'

There was ; and it was not in the least bettered by

120 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Debendra Nath De clinging to a policeman's bridle and
demanding the shortest, the very shortest way to Jumala.
Now originality is fatal to the Bengali. Debendra Nath
should have stayed with his brother, who rode steadfastly
for Jumala on the railway-line, thanking gods entirely
unknown to the most catholic of universities that he had
not taken charge of the district, and could still — happy
resource of a fertile race ! — fall sick.

And I grieve to say that when he reached his goal
two policemen, not devoid of rude wit, who had been con
ferring together as they bumped in their saddles, arranged
an entertainment for his behoof. It consisted of first one
and then the other entering his room with prodigious
details of war, the massing of bloodthirsty and devilish
tribes, and the burning of towns. It was almost as good,
said these scamps, as riding with Curbar after evasive
Afghans. Each invention kept the hearer at work for
half an hour on telegrams which the sack of Delhi would
hardly have justified. To every power that could move
a bayonet or transfer a terrified man, Grish Chunder De
appealed telegraphically. He was alone, his assistants
had fled, and in truth he had not taken over charge of
the district. Had the telegrams been despatched many
things would have occurred ; but since the only signaller
in Jumala had gone to bed, and the station-master, after
one look at the tremendous pile of paper, discovered that
railway regulations forbade the forwarding of imperial
messages, policemen Ram Singh and Nihal Singh were
fain to turn the stuff into a pillow and slept on it
very comfortably.

Tallantire drove his spurs into a rampant skewbald
stallion with china-blue eyes, and settled himself for the
forty -mile ride to Fort Ziar. Knowing his district blind
fold, he wasted no time hunting for short cuts, but headed

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 121

across the richer grazing-ground to the ford where Orde
had died and been buried. The dust}7 ground deadened
the noise of his horse's hoofs, the moon threw his shadow,
a restless goblin, before him, and the heavy dew drenched
him to the skin. Hillock, scrub that brushed against the
horse's belly, unmetalled road where the whip-like foliage
of the tamarisks lashed his forehead, illimitable levels of
lowland furred with bent and speckled with drowsing
cattle, waste, and hillock anew, dragged themselves past,
and the skewbald was labouring in the deep sand of the
Indus -ford. Tallantire was conscious of no distinct
thought till the nose of the dawdling ferry-boat grounded
on the farther side, and his horse shied snorting at the
white headstone of Orde's grave. Then he uncovered, and
shouted that the dead might hear, ' They're out, old
man ! Wish me luck.' In the chill of the dawn he was
hammering with a stirrup-iron at the gate of Fort Ziar,
where fifty sabres of that tattered regiment, the Belooch
Beshaklis were supposed to guard Her Majesty's interests
along a few hundred miles of Border. This particular
fort was commanded by a subaltern, who, born of the
ancient family of the Derouletts, naturally answered to the
name of Tommy Dodd. Him Tallantire found robed in a
sheepskin coat, shaking with fever like an aspen, and trying
to read the native apothecary's list of invalids.

' So you've come, too,' said he. ' Well, we're all sick
here, and I don't think I can horse thirty men ; but we're
bub — bub — bub blessed willing. Stop, does this impress
you as a trap or a lie ? ' He tossed a scrap of paper
to Tallantire, on which was written painfully in crabbed
Gurmukhi, ' We cannot hold young horses. They will
feed after the moon goes down in the four border villages
issuing from the Jagai pass on the next night.' Then in
English round hand — ' Your sincere friend.'

122 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Good man ! ' said Tallantire. ' That's Khoda Dad
Khan's work, I know. It's the only piece of English he
could ever keep in his head, and he is immensely proud
of it. He is playing against the Blind Mullah for his
own hand — the treacherous young ruffian ! '

' Don't know the politics of the Khusru Kheyl, but if
you're satisfied, I am. That was pitched in over the gate-
head last night, and I thought we might pull ourselves
together and see what was on. Oh, but we're sick with
fever here and no mistake ! Is this going to be a big
business, think you ? ' said Tommy Dodd.

Tallantire gave him briefly the outlines of the case, and
Tommy Dodd whistled and shook with fever alternately.
That day he devoted to strategy, the art of war, and the
enlivenment of the invalids, till at dusk there stood ready
forty -two troopers, lean, worn, and dishevelled, whom
Tommy Dodd surveyed with pride, and addressed thus, '0
men ! If you die you will go to Hell. Therefore endeavour
to keep alive. But if you go to Hell that place cannot be
hotter than this place, and we are not told that we shall
there suffer from fever. Consequently be not afraid of
dying. File out there ! ' They grinned, and went.

It will be long ere the Khusru Kheyl forget their
night attack on the lowland villages. The Mullah had
promised an easy victory and unlimited plunder; but
behold, armed troopers of the Queen had risen out of
the very earth, cutting, slashing, and riding down under
the stars, so that no man knew where to turn, and all
feared that they had brought an army about their ears,
and ran back to the hills. In the panic of that flight
more men were seen to drop from wounds inflicted by

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 123

an Afghan knife jabbed upwards, and yet more from
long-range carbine-fire. Then there rose a cry of treachery,
and when they reached their own guarded heights, they
had left, with some forty dead and sixty wounded, all
their confidence in the Blind Mullah on the plains below.
They clamoured, swore, and argued round the fires ; the
women wailing for the lost, and the Mullah shrieking
curses on the returned.

Then Khoda Dad Khan, eloquent and unbreathed,
for he had taken no part in the fight, rose to im
prove the occasion. He pointed out that the tribe
owed every item of its present misfortune to the
Blind Mullah, who had lied in every possible particular
and talked them into a trap. It was undoubtedly an
insult that a Bengali, the son of a Bengali, should
presume to administer the Border, but that fact did
not, as the Mullah pretended, herald a general time of
license and lifting ; and the inexplicable madness of
the English had not in the least impaired their power
of guarding their marches. On the contrary, the baffled
and out-generalled tribe would now, just when their
food -stock was lowest, be blockaded from any trade
with Hindustan until they had sent hostages for good
behaviour, paid compensation for disturbance, and blood-
money at the rate of thirty-six English pounds per head
for every villager that they might have slain. ' And ye
know that those lowland dogs will make oath that we
have slain scores. Will the Mullah pay the fines or must
we sell our guns ? ' A low growl ran round the fires.
' Now, seeing that all this is the Mullah's work, and that
we have gained nothing but promises of Paradise thereby,
it is in my heart that we of the Khusru Kheyl lack a
shrine whereat to pray. We are weakened, and hence
forth how shall we dare to cross into the Madar Kheyl

124 LIFE'S HANDICAP

border, as has been our custom, to kneel to Pir Sajji's
tomb ? The Madar men will fall upon us, and rightly.
But our Mullah is a holy man. He has helped two
score of us into Paradise this night. Let him there
fore accompany his flock, and we will build over his
body a dome of the blue tiles of Mooltan, and burn
lamps at his feet every Friday night. He shall be a
saint : we shall have a shrine ; and there our' women
shall pray for fresh seed to fill the gaps in our fighting-
tale. How think you ? '

A grim chuckle followed the suggestion, and the soft
wlieep, wheep of unscabbarded knives followed the chuckle.
It was an excellent notion, and met a long felt want of
the tribe. The Mullah sprang to his feet, glaring with
withered eyeballs at the drawn death he could not see,
and calling down the curses of God and Mahomed on
the tribe. Then began a game of blind man's buff round
and between the fires, whereof Khuruk Shah, the tribal
poet, has sung in verse that will not die.

They tickled him gently under the armpit with the
knife-point. He leaped aside screaming, only to feel a
cold blade drawn lightly over the back of his neck, or a
rifle-muzzle rubbing his beard. He called on his ad
herents to aid him, but most of these lay dead on the
plains, for Khoda Dad Khan had been at some pains to
arrange their decease. Men described to him the glories
of the shrine they would build, and the little children
clapping their hands cried, ' Eun, Mullah, run !
There's a man behind you ! ' In the end, when the
sport wearied, Khoda Dad Khan's brother sent a knife
home between his ribs. 'Wherefore,' said Khoda Dad
Khan with charming simplicity, ' I am now Chief of
the Khusru Kheyl ! ' No man gainsaid him ; and they
all went to sleep very stiff and sore.

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 125

On the plain below Tommy Dodd was lecturing
on the beauties of a cavalry charge by night, and
Tallantire, bowed on his saddle, was gasping hysteri
cally because there was a sword dangling from his
wrist necked with the blood of the Khusru Kheyl, the
tribe that Orde had kept in leash so well. When a
Rajpoot trooper pointed out that the skewbald's right
ear had been taken off at the root by some blind slash of
its unskilled rider, Tallantire broke down altogether, and
laughed and sobbed till Tommy Dodd made him lie
down and rest.

' We must wait about till the morning,' said he. ' I
wired to the Colonel just before we left, to send a
wing of the Beshaklis after us. He'll be furious with
me for monopolising the fun, though. Those beggars
in the hills won't give us any more trouble/

'Then tell the Beshaklis to go on and see what
has happened to Curbar on the canal. We must
patrol the whole line of the Border. You're quite sure,
Tommy, that — that stuff was — was only the skewbald's
ear?'

' Oh, quite,' said Tommy. ' You just missed cutting
off his head. / saw you when we went into the mess.
Sleep, old man.'

Noon brought two squadrons of Beshaklis and a
knot of furious brother officers demanding the court-
martial of Tommy Dodd for ' spoiling the picnic,' and
a gallop across country to the canal - works where
Ferris, Curbar, and Hugonin were haranguing the
terror-stricken coolies on the enormity of abandoning
good work and high pay, merely because half a dozen
of their fellows had been cut down. The sight of
a troop of the Beshaklis restored wavering confidence,
and the police -hunted section of the Khusru Kheyl

]26 LIFE'S HANDICAP

had the joy of watching the canal - bank humming
with life as usual, while such of their men as had
taken refuge in the water -courses and ravines were
being driven out by the troopers. By sundown began
the remorseless patrol of the Border by police and
trooper, most like the cow-boys' eternal ride round
restless cattle.

' Now/ said Khoda Dad Khan to his fellows, pointing
out a line of twinkling fires below, ' ye may see how far
the old order changes. After their horse will come the
little devil-guns that they can drag up to the tops of
the hills, and, for aught I know, to the clouds
when we crown the hills. If the tribe-council thinks
good, I will go to Tallantire Sahib — who loves me —
and see if I can stave off at least the blockade. Do I
speak for the tribe ? '

' Ay, speak for the tribe in God's name. How those
accursed fires wink ! Do the English send their troops
on the wire — or is this the work of the Bengali ? '

As Khoda Dad Khan went down the hill he was
delayed by an interview with a hard-pressed tribes
man, which caused him to return hastily for some
thing he had forgotten. Then, handing himself over
to the two troopers who had been chasing his friend,
he claimed escort to Tallantire Sahib, then with
Bullows at Jumala. The Border was safe, and the
time for reasons in writing had begun.

' Thank Heaven ! ' said Bullows, ' that the trouble
came at once. Of course we can never put down the
reason in black and white, but all India will under
stand. And it is better to have a sharp short out
break than five years of impotent administration inside
the Border. It costs less. Grish Chunder De has
reported himself sick, and has been transferred to his

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 127

own province without any sort of reprimand. He
was strong on not having taken over the district/

' Of course/ said Tallantire bitterly. ' Well, what am
I supposed to have done that was wrong ? *

' Oh, you will be told that you exceeded all your
powers, and should have reported, and written, and
advised for three weeks until the Khusru Kheyl could
really come down in force. But I don't think the
authorities will dare to make a fuss about it. They've
had their lesson. Have you seen Curbar's version of
the affair ? He can't write a report, but he can speak
the truth/

' What's the use of the truth ? He'd much better
tear up the report. I'm sick and heartbroken over
it all. It was so utterly unnecessary — except in that
it rid us of that Babu/

Entered unabashed Khoda Dad Khan, a stuffed
forage-net in his hand, and the troopers behind him.

' May you never be tired ! ' said he cheerily. ' Well,
Sahibs, that was a good fight, and Nairn Shah's mother is
in debt to you, Tallantire Sahib. A clean cut, they tell
me, through jaw, wadded coat, and deep into the collar
bone. Well done ! But I speak for the tribe. There
has been a fault — a great fault. Thou knowest that I
and mine, Tallantire Sahib, kept the oath we sware
to Orde Sahib on the bands of the Indus/

' As an Afghan keeps his knife — sharp on one side,
blunt on the other/ said Tallantire.

* The better swing in the blow, then. But I speak
God's truth. Only the Blind Mullah carried the young
men on the tip of his tongue, and said that there was no
more Border-law because a Bengali had been sent, and we
need not fear the English at all. So they came down to
avenge that insult and get plunder. Ye know what be-

128 LIFE'S HANDICAP

fell, and how far I helped. Now five score of us are dead
or wounded, and we are all shamed and sorry, and desire
no further war. Moreover, that ye may better listen to
us, we have taken off the head of the Blind Mullah,
whose evil counsels have led us to folly. I bring it for
proof/ — and he heaved on the floor the head. ' He will
give no more trouble, for / am chief now, and so I sit in
a higher place at all audiences. Yet there is an offset to
this head. That was another fault. One of the men
found that black Bengali beast, through whom this
trouble arose, wandering on horseback and weeping.
Keflecting that he had caused loss of much good life,
Alia Dad Khan, whom, if you choose, I will to-morrow
shoot, whipped off this head, and I bring it to you
to cover your shame, that ye may bury it. See, no man
kept the spectacles, though they were of gold.'

Slowly rolled to Tallantire's feet the crop-haired head
of a spectacled Bengali gentleman, open-eyed, open-
mouthed — the head of Terror incarnate. Bullows bent
down. ' Yet another blood-fine and a heavy one, Khoda
Dad Khan, for this is the head of Debendra JSTath, the
man's brother. The Babu is safe long since. All but the
fools of the Khusru Kheyl know that.'

' Well, I care not for carrion. Quick meat for me.
The thing was under our hills asking the road to
Jumala and Alia Dad Khan showed him the road to
Jehannum, being, as thou sayest, but a fool. Eemains
now what the Government will do to us. As to the
blockade '

' Who art thou, seller of dog's flesh,' thundered Tallan-
tire, ' to speak of terms and treaties ? Get hence to the
hills — go, and wait there starving, till it shall please the
Government to call thy people out for punishment —
children and fools that ye be ! Count your dead, and be

THE HEAD OF THE DISTRICT 129

still. Rest assured that the Government will send you a
man ! '

' Ay,' returned Khoda Dad Khan, ' for we also be
men/

As he looked Tallantire between the eyes, he added,
' And by God, Sahib, may thou be that man ! '

K

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLEEGY

Before my Spring I garnered Autumn's gain,
Out of her time my field was white with grain,

The year gave up her secrets to my woe.
Forced and deflowered each sick season lay,
In mystery of increase and decay ;
I saw the sunset ere men saw the day,

Who am too wise in that I should not know.

Bitter Waters.

BUT if it be a girl ? '

'Lord of my life, it cannot be. I have prayed for
so many nights, and sent gifts to Sheikh Badl's shrine so
often, that I know God will give us a son — a man-child
that shall grow into a man. Think of this and be glad.
My mother shall be his mother till I can take him again,
and the mullah of the Pattan mosque shall cast his
nativity — God send he be born in an auspicious hour ! —
and then, and then thou wilt never weary of me, thy slave.'
' Since when hast thou been a slave, my queen ? '
' Since the beginning — till this mercy came to me.
How could I be sure of thy love when I knew that
I had been bought with silver ? '

' Nay, that was the dowry. I paid it to thy mother.'

' And she has buried it, and sits upon it all day long

like a hen. What talk is yours of dower ! I was bought

as though I had been a Lucknow dancing-girl instead of

a child/

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 131

' Art thou sorry for the sale ? '

' I have sorrowed ; but to-day I am glad. Thou wilt
never cease to love me now? — answer, my king.'

' Never — never. No/

' Not even though the mem-log — the white women of
thy own blood — love thee ? And remember, I have
watched them driving in the evening ; they are very fair.'

'I have seen fire -balloons by the hundred. I have
seen the moon, and — then I saw no more fire-balloons.'

Ameera clapped her hands and laughed. ' Very good
talk,' she said. Then with an assumption of great state-
liness, ' It is enough. Thou hast my permission to
depart, — if thou wilt.'

The man did not move. He was sitting on a low
red -lacquered couch in a room furnished only with a
blue and white floor-cloth, some rugs, and a very complete
collection of native cushions. At his feet sat a woman
of sixteen, and she was all but all the world in his eyes.
By every rule and law she should have been otherwise,
for he was an Englishman, and she a Mussulman's
daughter bought two years before from her mother, who,
being left without money, would have sold Ameera
shrieking to the Prince of Darkness if the price had
been sufficient.

It was a contract entered into with a light heart ;
but even before the girl had reached her bloom she
came to fill the greater portion of John Holden's life.
For her, and the withered hag her mother, he had taken
a little house overlooking the great red-walled city, and
found, — when the marigolds had sprung up by the well
in the courtyard and Ameera had established herself
according to her own ideas of comfort, and her mother
had ceased grumbling at the inadequacy of the cooking-
places, the distance from the daily market, and at matters

132 LIFE'S HANDICAP

of house-keeping in general, — that the house was to him
his home. Any one could enter his bachelor's bungalow
by day or night, and the life that he led there was an
unlovely one. In the house in the city his feet only
could pass beyond the outer courtyard to the women's
rooms ; and when the big wooden gate was bolted behind
him he was king in his own territory, with Ameera for
queen. And there was going to be added to this king
dom a third person whose arrival Holden felt inclined to
resent. It interfered with his perfect happiness. It
disarranged the orderly peace of the house that was his
own. But Ameera was wild with delight at the thought
of it, and her mother not less so. The love of a man, and
particularly a white man, was at the best an inconstant
affair, but it might, both women argued, be held fast by
a baby's hands. ' And then,' Ameera would always say,
' then he will never care for the white mem-log. I hate
them all- — I hate them all.'

'He will go back to his own people in time,' said
the mother ; ' but by the blessing of God that time is yet
afar off.'

Holden sat silent on the couch thinking of the future,
and his thoughts were not pleasant. The drawbacks of
a double life are manifold. The Government, with
singular care, had ordered him out of the station for a
fortnight on special duty in the place of a man who was
watching by the bedside of a sick wife. The verbal
notification of the transfer had been edged by a cheerful
remark that Holden ought to think himself lucky in
being a bachelor and a free man. He came to break
the news to Ameera.

' It is not good/ she said slowly, ' but it is not all
bad. There is my mother here, and no harm will come
to me — unless indeed I die of pure joy. Go thou to

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY .133

thy work and think no troublesome thoughts. When the
days are done I believe . . . nay, I am sure. And — and
then I shall lay him in thy arms, and thou wilt love
me for ever. The train goes to-night, at midnight is it
not ? Go now, and do not let thy heart be heavy by
cause of me. But thou wilt not delay in returning ?
Thou wilt not stay on the road to talk to the bold white
mem-log. Come back to me swiftly, my life.'

As he left the courtyard to reach his horse that was
tethered to the gate-post, Holden spoke to the white-
haired old watchman who guarded the house, and bade
him under certain contingencies despatch the filled -up
telegraph-form that Holden gave him. It was all that
could be done, and with the sensations of a man who
has attended his own funeral Holden went away by the
night mail to his exile. Every hour of the day he
dreaded the arrival of the telegram, and every hour of
the night he pictured to himself the death of Ameera.
In consequence his work for the State was not of first-
rate quality, nor was his temper towards his colleagues
of the most amiable. The fortnight ended without a
sign from his home, and, torn to pieces by his anxieties,
Holden returned to be swallowed up for two precious
hours by a dinner at the club, wherein he heard, as a
man hears in a swoon, voices telling him how execrably
he had performed the other man's duties, and how he
had endeared himself to all his associates. Then he fled
on horseback through the night with his heart in his
mouth. There was no answer at first to his blows on
the gate, and he had just wheeled his horse round to
kick it in when Pir Khan appeared with a lantern and
held his stirrup.

' Has aught occurred ? ' said Holden.

* The news does not come from my mouth, Protector

134 LIFE'S HANDICAP

of the Poor, but He held out his shaking hand

as befitted the bearer of good news who is entitled to a
reward.

Holden hurried through the courtyard. A light burned
in the upper room. His horse neighed in the gateway,
and he heard a shrill little wail that sent all the blood into
the apple of his throat. It was a new voice, but it did not
prove that Ameera was alive.

' Who is there ? ' he called up the narrow brick stair
case.

There was a cry of delight from Ameera, and then
the voice of the mother, tremulous with old age and
pride — ' We be two women and — the — man — thy — son.'

On the threshold of the room Holden stepped on a
naked dagger, that was laid there to avert ill-luck, and it
broke at the hilt under his impatient heel.

' God is great ! ' cooed Ameera in the half - light.
' Thou hast taken his misfortunes on thy head.'

' Ay, but how is it with thee, life of my life ? Old
woman, how is it with her ? '

' She has forgotten her sufferings for joy that the child
is born. There is no harm ; but speak softly,' said the
mother.

' It only needed thy presence to make me all well,'
said Ameera. ' My king, thou hast been very long away.
What gifts hast thou for me ? Ah, ah ! It is I that
bring gifts this time. Look, my life, look. Was there
ever such a babe ? Nay, I am too weak even to clear
my arm from him.'

' Best then, and do not talk. I am here, lachari [little
woman]/

'Well said, for there is a bond and a heel -rope
[peecharee] between us now that nothing can break.
Look — canst thou see in this light ? He is without spot

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 135

or blemish. Never was such a man-child. Ya illah !
he shall be a pundit — no, a trooper of the Queen. And,
my life, dost thou love me as well as ever, though I am
faint and sick and worn ? Answer truly/

' Yea. I love as I have loved, with all my soul. Lie
still, pearl, and rest.'

* Then do not go. Sit by my side here — so. Mother,
the lord of this house needs a cushion. Bring it.' There
was an almost imperceptible movement on the part of
the new life that lay in the hollow of Ameera's arm.
' Aho ! ' she said, her voice breaking with love. ' The
babe is a champion from his birth. He is kicking me
in the side with mighty kicks. Was there ever such a
babe ! And he is ours to us — thine and mine. Put
thy hand on his head, but carefully, for he is very young,
and men are unskilled in such matters/

Very cautiously Holden touched with the tips of his
fingers the downy head.

' He is of the Faith,' said Ameera ; ' for lying here
in the night-watches I whispered the call to prayer and
the profession of faith into his ears. And it is most
marvellous that he was born upon a Friday, as I was
born. Be careful of him, my life ; but he can almost
grip with his hands/

Holden found one helpless little hand that closed
feebly on his finger. And the clutch ran through his
body till it settled about his heart. Till then his sole
thought had been for Ameera. He began to realise
that there was some one else in the world, but he could
not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. He
sat down to think, and Ameera dozed lightly.

' Get hence, sahib,' said her mother under her breath.
' It is not good that she should find you here on waking.
She must be still/

136 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' I go/ said Holden submissively. ' Here be rupees.
See that my laba gets fat and finds all that he needs/

The chink of the silver roused Ameera. ' I am his
mother, and no hireling/ she said weakly. ' Shall I look
to him more or less for the sake of money? Mother,
give it back. I have born my lord a son/

The deep sleep of weakness came upon her almost
before the sentence was completed. Holden went down
to the courtyard very softly with his heart at ease. Pir
Khan, the old watchman, was chuckling with delight.
' This house is now complete/ he said, and without further
comment thrust into Holden's hands the hilt of a sabre
worn many years ago when he, Pir Khan, served the
Queen in the police. The bleat of a tethered goat came
from the well-kerb.

' There be two/ said Pir Khan, ' two goats of the best.
I bought them, and they cost much money; and since there
is no birth-party assembled their flesh will be all mine.
Strike craftily, sahib ! 'Tis an ill-balanced sabre at the
best. Wait till they raise their heads from cropping the
marigolds/

' And why ? ' said Holden, bewildered.

' For the birth-sacrifice. What else ? Otherwise the
child being unguarded from fate may die. The Protector
of the Poor knows the fitting words to be said.'

Holden had learned them once with little thought that
he would ever speak them in earnest. The touch of the
cold sabre-hilt in his palm turned suddenly to the clinging
grip of the child up-stairs — the child that was his own
son — and a dread of loss filled him.

' Strike ! ' said Pir Khan. ' Never life came into the
world but life was paid for it. See, the goats have raised
their heads. Now ! With a drawing cut ! '

Hardly knowing what he did Holden cut twice as he

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 137

muttered the Mahomedan prayer that runs : ' Almighty !
In place of this my son I offer life for life, blood for blood,
head for head, bone for bone, hair for hair, skin for skin.'
The waiting horse snorted and bounded in his pickets at
the smell of the raw blood that spirted over Holden's
riding-boots.

' Well smitten ! ' said Pir Khan wiping the sabre. ' A
swordsman was lost in thee. Go with a light heart,
Heaven-born. I am thy servant, and the servant of thy
son. May the Presence live a thousand years and . . .
the flesh of the goats is all mine ? ' Pir Khan drew back
richer by a month's pay. Holden swung himself into the
saddle and rode off through the low-hanging wood-smoke
of the evening. He was full of riotous exultation, alter
nating with a vast vague tenderness directed towards no
particular object, that made him choke as he bent over
the neck of his uneasy horse. ' I never felt like this
in my life,' he thought. ' I'll go to the club and pull
myself together.'

A game of pool was beginning, and the room was full
of men. Holden entered, eager to get to the light and the
company of his fellows, singing at the top of his voice —

In Baltimore a- walking, a lady I did meet !

' Did you ? ' said the club-secretary from his corner.
' Did she happen to tell you that your boots were wringing
wet ? Great goodness, man, it's blood ! '

' Bosh ! ' said Holden, picking his cue from the rack.
' May I cut in ? It's dew. I've been riding through high
crops. My faith ! my boots are in a mess though !

' And if it be a girl she shall wear a wedding-ring,
And if it be a boy he shall fight for his king,
With his dirk, and his cap, and his little jacket blue,
He shall walk the quarter-deck — '

138 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Yellow on blue — green next player/ said the marker
monotonously.

' He shall walk the quarter-deck, — Am I green, marker ?
He shall walk the quarter-deck, — eh ! that's a bad shot,—
As his daddy used to do ! '

' I don't see that you have anything to crow about/
said a zealous junior civilian acidly. ' The Government
is not exactly pleased with your work when you relieved
Sanders.'

'Does that mean a wigging from headquarters?' said
Holden with an abstracted smile. ' I think I can stand
it.'

The talk beat up round the ever-fresh subject of each
man's work, and steadied Holden till it was time to go
to his dark empty bungalow, where his butler received
him as one who knew all his affairs. Holden remained
awake for the greater part of the night, and his dreams
were pleasant ones.

ii

' How old is he now ? '

' Ya illah ! What a man's question ! He is all but
six weeks old ; and on this night I go up to the house
top with thee, my life, to count the stars. For that is
auspicious. . And he was born on a Friday under the sign
of the Sun, and it has been told to me that he will outlive
iis both and get wealth. Can we wish for aught better,
beloved ? '

' There is nothing better. Let us go up to the roof,
and thou shalt count the stars- — but a few only, for the
sky is heavy with cloud.'

' The winter rains are late, and maybe they come out
of season. Come, before all the stars are hid. I have
put on my richest jewels.'

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 139

' Thou hast forgotten the best of all/

' Ai ! Ours. He comes also. He has never yet seen
the skies/

Ameera climbed the narrow staircase that led to the
Hat roof. The child, placid and unwinking, lay in the
hollow of her right arm, gorgeous in silver-fringed muslin
with a small skull-cap on his head. Ameera wore all
that she valued most. The diamond nose-stud that takes
the place of the Western patch in drawing attention to
the curve of the nostril, the gold ornament in the centre
of the forehead studded with tallow-drop emeralds and
flawed rubies, the heavy circlet of beaten gold that was
fastened round her neck by the softness of the pure metal,
and the chinking curb-patterned silver anklets hanging low
over the rosy ankle-bone. She was dressed in jade-green
muslin as befitted a daughter of the Faith, and from
shoulder to elbow and elbow to wrist ran bracelets of
silver tied with floss silk, frail glass bangles slipped over
the wrist in proof of the slenderness of the hand, and
certain heavy gold bracelets that had no part in her
country's ornaments but, since they were Holden's gift
and fastened with a cunning European snap, delighted her
immensely.

They sat down by the low white parapet of the roof,
overlooking the city and its lights.

' They are happy down there,' said Ameera. ' But I do
not think that they are as happy as we. Nor do I think
the white mem-log are as happy. And thou ? '

' I know they are not/

' How dost thou know ? '

' They give their children over to the nurses/

' I have never seen that/ said Ameera with a sigh,
' nor do I wish to see. Ahi ! ' — she dropped her head on
Holden's shoulder, — ' I have counted forty stars, and I am

140 LIFE'S HANDICAP

tired. Look at the child, love of my life, he is counting
too/

The baby was staring with round eyes at the dark of
the heavens. Ameera placed him in Holden's arms, and
he lay there without a cry.

' What shall we call him among ourselves ? ' she said.
' Look ! Art thou ever tired of looking ? He carries thy
very eyes. But the mouth

* Is thine, most dear. Who should know better
than I ? '

' 'Tis such a feeble mouth. Oh, so small ! And yet it
holds my heart between its lips. Give him to me now.
He has been too long away.'

' Nay, let him lie ; he has not yet begun to cry.'

' When he cries thou wilt give him back — eh ? What
a man of mankind thou art ! If he cried he were only
the dearer to me. But, my life, what little name shall
we give him ? '

The small body lay close to Holden's heart. It was
utterly helpless and very soft. He scarcely dared to
breathe for fear of crushing it. The caged green parrot
that is regarded as a sort of guardian-spirit in most native
households moved on its perch and fluttered a drowsy
wing.

' There is the answer,' said Holden. ' Mian Mittu has
spoken. He shall be the parrot. When he is ready he
will talk mightily and run about. Mian Mittu is the
parrot in thy — in the Mussulman tongue, is it not ? '

'Why put me so far off?' said Ameera fretfully.
' Let it be like unto some English name — but not wholly.
For he is mine.'

' Then call him Tota, for that is likest English.'

' Ay, Tota, and that is still the parrot. Forgive me,
my lord for a minute ago, but in truth he is too little to

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY HI

wear all the weight of Mian Mittu for name. He shall
be Tota — our Tota to us. Hearest thou, oh, small one ?
Littlest, thou art Tota.' She touched the child's cheek,
and he waking wailed, and it was necessary to return him
to his mother, who soothed him with the wonderful rhyme
of Ar6 koko, Jard koko ! which says —

Oh crow ! Go crow ! Baby's sleeping sound,

And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.

Only a penny a pound, baba, only a penny a pound.

Eeassured many times as to the price of those plums,
Tota cuddled himself down to sleep. The two sleek,
white well-bullocks in the courtyard were steadily chewing
the cud of their evening meal ; old Pir Khan squatted at
the head of Holden's horse, his police sabre across his
knees, pulling drowsily at a big water-pipe that croaked
like a bull-frog in a pond. Ameera's mother sat spinning
in the lower verandah, and the wooden gate was shut and
barred. The music of a marriage -procession came to the
roof above the gentle hum of the city, and a string of
flying-foxes crossed the face of the low moon.

' I have prayed,' said Ameera after a long pause, ' I
have prayed for two things. First, that I may die in
thy stead if thy death is demanded, and in the second
that I may die in the place of the child. I have prayed
to the Prophet and to Beebee Miriam [the Virgin Mary].
Thinkest thou either will hear ? '

'From thy lips who would not hear the lightest
word ? '

' I asked for straight talk, and thou hast given me
sweet talk. Will my prayers be heard ? '

' How can I say ? God is very good.'

' Of that I am not sure. Listen now. When I die,
or the child dies, what is thy fate ? Living, thou wilt

142 LIFE'S HANDICAP

return to the bold white mem -log, for kind calls to
kind/

' Not always/

'With a woman, no; with a man it is otherwise.
Thou wilt in this life, later on, go back to thine own folk.
That I could almost endure, for I should be dead.
But in thy very death thou wilt be taken away to a
strange place and a paradise that I do not know/

' Will it be paradise ? '

' Surely, for who would harm thee ? But we two—
I and the child — shall be elsewhere, and we cannot come
to thee, nor canst thou come to us. In the old days,
before the child was born, I did not think of these things ;
but now I think of them always. It is very hard talk/

' It will fall as it will fall. To-morrow we do not
know, but to-day and love we know well. Surely we are
happy now/

' So happy that it were well to make our happiness
assured. And thy Beebee Miriam should listen to me ;
for she is also a woman. But then she would envy me !
It is not seemly for men to worship a woman/

Holden laughed aloud at Ameera's little spasm of
jealousy.

' Is it not seemly ? Why didst thou not turn me from
worship of thee, then ? '

' Thou a worshipper ! And of me ? My king, for all
thy sweet words, well I know that I am thy servant and
thy slave, and the dust under thy feet. And I would
not have it otherwise. See ! '

Before Holden could prevent her she stooped forward
and touched his feet ; recovering herself with a little
laugh she hugged Tota closer to her bosom. Then, almost
savagely —

' Is it true that the bold white mem-log live for three

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 143

times the length of my life ? Is it true that they make
their marriages not before they are old women ?

' They marry as do others — when they are women.'

' That I know, but they wed when they are twenty-five.
Is that true ? '

' That is true.'

' Ya illah ! At twenty-five ! Who would of his own
will take a wife even of eighteen ? She is a woman —
aging every hour. Twenty- five ! I shall be an old

woman at that age, and Those mem -log remain

young for ever. How I hate them ! '

' What have they to do with us ? '

' I cannot tell. I know only that there may now
be alive on this earth a woman ten years older than I
who may come to thee and take thy love ten years after
I am an old woman, gray -headed, and the nurse of
Tota's son. That is unjust and evil. They should die
too.'

' Now, for all thy years thou art a child, and shalt be
picked up and carried down the staircase.'

' Tota ! Have a care for Tota, my lord ! Thou at
least art as foolish as any babe ! ' Ameera tucked Tota
out of harm's way in the hollow of her neck, and was
carried downstairs laughing in Holden's arms, while Tota
opened his eyes and smiled after the manner of the lesser
angels.

He was a silent infant, and, almost before Holden
could realise that he was in the world, developed into a
small gold-coloured little god and unquestioned despot of
the house overlooking the city. Those were months of
absolute happiness to Holden and Ameera — happiness
withdrawn from the world, shut in behind the wooden
gate that Pir Khan guarded. By day Holden did his
work with an immense pity for such as were not so for-

144 LIFE'S HANDICAP

tunate as himself, and a sympathy for small children that
amazed and amused many mothers at the little station-
gatherings. At nightfall he returned to Ameera,—
Ameera, full of the wondrous doings of Tota ; how he had
been seen to clap his hands together and move his fingers
with intention and purpose — which was manifestly a
miracle — how later, he had of his own initiative crawled
out of his low bedstead on to the floor and swayed on both
feet for the space of three breaths.

' And they were long breaths, for my heart stood still
with delight,' said Ameera.

Then Tota took the beasts into his councils — the well-
bullocks, the little gray squirrels, the mongoose that lived
in a hole near the well, and especially Mian Mittu, the
parrot, whose tail he grievously pulled, and Mian Mittu
screamed till Ameera and Holden arrived.

' Oh villain ! Child of strength ! This to thy brother
on the house-top ! Tobali, tobah ! Fie ! Fie ! But I
know a charm to make him wise as. Suleiman and
Aflatoun [Solomon and Plato]. Now look,' said Ameera.
She drew from an embroidered bag a handful of almonds.
' See ! we count seven. In the name of God ! '

She placed Mian Mittu, very angry and rumpled, on
the top of his cage, and seating herself between the babe
and the bird she cracked and peeled an almond less white
than her teeth. ' This is a true charm, my life, and do
not laugh. See ! I give the parrot one half and Tota the
other.' Mian Mittu with careful beak took his share
from between Ameera's lips, and she kissed the other half
into the mouth of the child, who ate it slowly with
wondering eyes. 'This I will do each day of seven, and
without doubt he who is ours will be a bold speaker and
wise. Eh, Tota, what wilt thou be when thou art a man
and I am gray-headed ? ' Tota tucked his fat legs into

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 145

adorable creases. He coukl crawl, but he was not going
to waste the spring of his youth in idle speech. He
wanted Mian Mittu's tail to tweak.

When he was advanced to the dignity of a silver belt
— which, with a magic square engraved on silver and
hung round his neck, made up the greater part of his
clothing — he staggered on a perilous journey down the
garden to Pir Khan and proffered him all his jewels in
exchange for one little ride on Holden's horse, having
seen his mother's mother chaffering with pedlars in the
verandah. Pir Khan wept and set the untried feet on
his own gray head in sign of fealty, and brought the
bold adventurer to his mother's arms, vowing that Tota
would be a leader of men ere his beard was grown.

One hot evening, while he sat on the roof between his
father and mother watching the never-ending warfare of
the kites that the city boys new, he demanded a kite of
his own with Pir Khan to fly it, because he had a fear
of dealing with anything larger than himself, and when
Holden called him a 'spark,' he rose to his feet and
answered slowly in defence of his new-found individuality,
' Hum park nahin hai. Hum admi hai [I am no spark,
but a man.]'

The protest made Holden choke and devote himself
very seriously to a consideration of Tota's future. He
need hardly have taken the trouble. The delight of that
life was too perfect to endure. Therefore it was taken
away as many things are taken away in India — suddenly
and without warning. The little lord of the house, as Pir
Khan called him, grew sorrowful and complained of pains
who had never known the meaning of pain. Ameera,
wild with terror, watched him through the night, and in
the dawning of the second day the life was shaken out of
him by fever — the seasonal autumn fever. It seemed

L

146 LIFE'S HANDICAP

altogether impossible that he could die, and neither
Ameera nor Holden at first believed the evidence of the
little body on the bedstead. Then Ameera beat her head
against the wall and would have flung herself down the
well in the garden had Holden not restrained her by
main force.

One mercy only was granted to Holden. He rode to
his office in broad daylight and found waiting him an
unusually heavy mail that demanded concentrated atten
tion and hard work. He was not, however, alive to this
kindness of the gods.

in

The first shock of a bullet is no more than a brisk
pinch. The wrecked body does not send in its protest
to the soul till ten or fifteen seconds later. Holden
realised his pain slowly, exactly as he had realised his
happiness, and with the same imperious necessity for
hiding all trace of it. In the beginning he only felt that
there had been a loss, and that Ameera needed com
forting, where she sat with her head on her knees shivering
as Mian Mittu from the house-top called, Total Total
Tota I Later all his world and the daily life of it rose
up to hurt him. It was an outrage that any one of the
children at the band-stand in the evening should be alive
and clamorous, when his own child lay dead. It was
more than mere pain when one of them touched him, and
stories told by over-fond fathers of their children's latest
performances cut him to the quick. He could not declare
his pain. He had neither help, comfort, nor sympathy ;
and Ameera at the end of each weary day would lead
him through the hell of self -questioning reproach which
is reserved for those who have lost a child, and believe

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 147

that with a little — just a little more care — it might
have been saved.

' Perhaps/ Ameera would say, ' I did not take
sufficient heed. Did I, or did I not ? The sun on the
roof that day when he played so long alone and I was—
alii ! braiding my hair — it may be that the sun then bred
the fever. If I had warned him from the sun he might
have lived. But, oh my life, say that I am guiltless !
Thou knowest that • I loved him as I love thee. Say
that there is no blame on me, or I shall die — I shall
die ! '

' There is no blame, — before God, none. It was written
and how could we do aught to save ? What has been, has
been. Let it go, beloved.'

' He was all my heart to me. How can I let the
thought go when my arm tells me every night that he is
not here ? Alii ! AM ! Oh Tota, come back to me —
come back again, and let us be all together as it was
before ! '

' Peace, peace ! For thine own sake, and for mine also,
if thou lovest me — rest/

* By this I know thou dost not care ; and how shouldst

thou ? The white men have hearts of stone and souls of

iron. Oh, that I had married a man of mine own people

—though he beat me — and had never eaten the bread of

an alien ! '

' Am I an alien — mother of my son ? '

' What else — Sahib ? . . . Oh, forgive me — forgive !
The death has driven me mad. Thou art the life of
my heart, and the light of my eyes, and the breath of
my life, and — and I have put thee from me, though it
was but for a moment. If thou goest away, to whom
shall I look for help ? Do not be angry. Indeed, it
was the pain that spoke and not thy slave/

148 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' I know, I know. We be two who were three. The
greater need therefore that we should be one.'

They were sitting on the roof as of custom. The night
was a warm one in early spring, and sheet-lightning was
dancing on the horizon to a broken tune played by far-off
thunder. Ameera settled herself in Holden's arms.

' The dry earth is lowing like a cow for the rain,
and I — I am afraid. It was not like this when we
counted the stars. But thou lovest me as much as
before, though a bond is taken away ? Answer ! '

' I love "more because a new bond has come out of
the sorrow that we have eaten together, and that thou
knowest.'

' Yea, I knew,' said Ameera in a very small whisper.
' But it is good to hear thee say so, my life, who art so
strong to help. I will be a child no more, but a woman
and an aid to thee. Listen ! Give me my sitar and I
will sing bravely.'

She took the light silver -studded sitar and began
a song of the great hero Eajah Easalu. The hand failed
on the strings, the tune halted, checked, and at a low
note turned off to the poor little nursery- rhyme about
the wicked crow —

* And the wild plums grow in the jungle, only a penny a pound.
Only a penny a pound, baba — only . . . '

Then came the tears, and the piteous rebellion against
fate till she slept, moaning a little in her sleep, with
the right arm thrown clear of the body as though it pro
tected something that was not there. It was after this
night that life became a little easier for Holden. The
ever-present pain of loss drove him into his work, and
the work repaid him by filling up his mind for nine or
ten hours a day. Ameera sat alone in the house and

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 149

brooded, but grew happier when she understood that
Holden was more at ease, according to the custom of
women. They touched happiness again, but this time
with caution.

1 It was because we loved Tota that he died. The
jealousy of God was upon us/ said Ameera. 'I have
hung up a large black jar before our window to turn the
evil eye from us, and we must make no protestations of
delight, but go softly underneath the stars, lest God find
us out. Is that not good talk, worthless one ? '

She had shifted the accent on the word that means
' beloved,' in proof of the sincerity of her purpose. But
the kiss that followed the new christening was a thing
that any deity might have envied. They went about
henceforward saying, ' It is naught, it is naught ; ' and
hoping that all the Powers heard.

The Powers were busy on other things. They had
allowed thirty million people four years of plenty wherein
men fed well and the crops were certain, and the birth
rate rose year by year ; the districts reported a purely
agricultural population varying from nine hundred to
two thousand to the square mile of the overburdened
earth ; and the Member for Lower Tooting, wandering
about India in top-hat and frock-coat, talked largely of
the benefits of British rule and suggested as the one
thing needful the establishment of a duly qualified elec
toral system and a general bestowal of the franchise. His
long-suffering hosts smiled and made him welcome, and
when he paused to admire, with pretty picked words,
the blossom of the blood-red dhaJc-tree that had flowered
untimely for a sign of what was coming, they smiled more
than ever.

It was the Deputy Commissioner of Kot-Kumharsen,
staying at the club for a day, who lightly told a tale

150 LIFE'S HANDICAP

that made Holden's blood run cold as he overheard the
end.

'He won't bother any one any more. Never saw a
man so astonished in my life. By Jove, I thought he
meant to ask a question in the House about it. Fellow-
passenger in his ship — dined next him — bowled over by
cholera and died in eighteen hours. You needn't laugh,
you fellows. The Member for Lower Tooting is awfully
angry about it ; but he's more scared. I think he's going
to take his enlightened self out of India/

' I'd give a good deal if he were knocked over. It
might keep a few vestrymen of his kidney to their own
parish. But what's this about cholera ? It's full early
for anything of that kind/ said the warden of an un
profitable salt-lick.

' Don't know,' said the Deputy Commissioner reflect
ively. 'We've got locusts with us. There's sporadic
cholera all along the north — at least we're calling it
sporadic for decency's sake. The spring crops are short
in five districts, and nobody seems to know where the
rains are. It's nearly March now. I don't want to scare
anybody, but it seems to me that Nature's going to audit
her accounts with a big red pencil this summer/

' Just when I wanted to take leave, too ! ' said a voice
across the room.

' There won't be much leave this year, but there ought
to be a great deal of promotion. I've come in to persuade
the Government to put my pet canal on the list of famine-
relief works. It's an ill- wind that blows no good. I shall
get that canal finished at last/

' Is it the old programme then/ said Holden ; ' famine,
fever, and cholera ? '

' Oh no. Only local scarcity and an unusual preval
ence of seasonal sickness. You'll find it all in the

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 151

reports if you live till next year. You're a lucky chap.
You haven't got a wife to send out of harm's way. The
hill-stations ought to be full of women this year.'

' I think you're inclined to exaggerate the talk in the
bazars? said a young civilian in the Secretariat. ' Now I
have observed '

' I daresay you have/ said the Deputy Commissioner,
but you've a great deal more to observe, my son. In

the meantime, I wish to observe to you ' and he drew

him aside to discuss the construction of the canal that
was so dear to his heart. Holden went to his bungalow
and began to understand that he was not alone in the
world, and also that he was afraid for the sake of
another, — which is the most soul - satisfying fear known
to man.

Two months later, as the Deputy had foretold, Nature
began to audit her accounts with a red pencil. On the
heels of the spring-reapings came a cry for bread, and the
Government, which had decreed that no man should die
of want, sent wheat. Then came the cholera from all
four quarters of the compass. It struck a pilgrim-gather
ing of half a million at a sacred shrine. Many died at
the feet of their god ; the others broke and ran over the
face of the land carrying the pestilence with them. It
smote a walled city and killed two hundred a day. The
people crowded the trains, hanging on to the footboards
and squatting on the roofs of the carriages, and the
cholera followed them, for at each station they dragged
out the dead and the dying. They died by the roadside,
and the horses of the Englishmen shied at the corpses in
the grass. The rains did not come, and the earth turned
to iron lest man should escape death by hiding in her.
The English sent their wives away to the hills and went
about their work, coming forward as they were bidden to

152 LIFE'S HANDICAP

fill the gaps in the fighting-line. Holden, sick with fear
of losing his chiefest treasure on earth, had done his best
to persuade Ameera to go away with her mother to the
Himalayas.

' Why should I go ? ' said she one evening on the
roof.

' There is sickness, and people are dying, and all the
white mem-log have gone.'

'All of them?'

'All — unless perhaps there remain some old scald-
head who vexes her husband's heart by running risk of
death.'

' Nay ; who stays is my sister, and thou must not
abuse her, for I will be a scald-head too. I am glad all
the bold mem-log are gone.'

' Do I speak to a woman or a babe ? Go to the hills
and I will see to it that thou goest like a queen's
daughter. Think, child. In a red-lacquered bullock cart,
veiled and curtained, with brass peacocks upon the pole
and red cloth hangings. I will send two orderlies for
guard and—

1 Peace ! Thou art the babe in speaking thus.
What use are those toys to me ? He would have patted
the bullocks and played with the housings. For his sake,
perhaps, — thou hast made me very English — I might
have gone. Now, I will not. Let the mem-log run.'

' Their husbands are sending them, beloved.'

'Very good talk. Since when hast thou been my
husband to tell me what to do ? I have but borne thee
a son. Thou art only all the desire of my soul to me.
How shall I depart when I know that if evil befall thee
by the breadth of so much as my littlest finger-nail—
is that not small? — I should be aware of it though I
were in paradise. And here, this summer thou mayest

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 153

die — ai, janee, die ! and in dying they might call to tend
thee a white woman, and she would rob me in the last
of thy love ! '

' But love is not born in a moment or on a death-bed ! '

'What dost thou know of love, stoneheart ? She
would take thy thanks at least and, by God and the
Prophet and Beebee Miriam the mother of thy Prophet,
that I will never endure. My lord and my love, let
there be no more foolish talk of going away. Where
thou art, I am. It is enough.' She put an arm round
his neck and a hand on his mouth.

There are not many happinesses so complete as those
that are snatched under the shadow of the sword. They
sat together and laughed, calling each other openly by
every pet name that could move the wrath of the gods.
The city below them was locked up in its own torments.
Sulphur fires blazed in the streets ; the conches in the
Hindu temples screamed and bellowed, for the gods were
inattentive in those days. There was a service in the
great Mahomed an shrine, and the call to prayer from the
minarets was almost unceasing. They heard the wailing
in the houses of the dead, and once the shriek of a
mother who had lost a child and was calling for its re
turn. In the gray dawn they saw the dead borne out
through the city gates, each litter with its own little
knot of mourners. Wherefore they kissed each other
and shivered.

It was a red and heavy audit, for the land was very
sick and needed a little breathing-space ere the torrent
of cheap life should flood it anew. The children of
immature fathers and undeveloped mothers made no
resistance. They were cowed and sat still, waiting till
the sword should be sheathed in November if it were
so willed. There were gaps among the English, but

154 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the gaps were filled. The work of superintending
famine -relief, cholera -sheds, medicine -distribution, and
what little sanitation was possible, went forward because
it was so ordered.

Holden had been told to keep himself in readiness to
move to replace the next man who should fall. There
were twelve hours in each day when he could not see
Ameera, and she might die in three. He was con
sidering what his pain would be if he could not see
her for three months, or if she died out of his sight.
He was absolutely certain that her death would be
demanded — so certain that when he looked up from
the telegram and saw Pir Khan breathless in the
doorway, he laughed aloud. ' And ? ' said he,

'When there is a cry in the night and the spirit
flutters into the throat, who has a charm that will
restore? Come swiftly, Heaven -born! It is the black
cholera.'

Holden galloped to his home. The sky was heavy
with clouds, for the long - deferred rains were near
and the heat was stifling. Ameera's mother met him
in the courtyard, whimpering, ' She is dying. She
is nursing herself into death. She is all but dead.
What shall I do, sahib ? '

Ameera was lying in the room in which Tota had
been born. She made no sign when Holden entered,
because the human soul is a very lonely thing and, when
it is getting ready to go away, hides itself in a misty
borderland where the living may not follow. The black
cholera does its work quietly and without explanation.
Ameera was being thrust out of life as though the
Angel of Death had himself put his hand upon her.
The quick breathing seemed to show that she was
either afraid or in pain, but neither eyes nor mouth

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 155

gave any answer to Holden's kisses. There was nothing
to be said or done. Holden could only wait and suffer.
The first drops of the rain began to fall on the roof and
he could hear shouts of joy in the parched city.

The soul came back a little and the lips moved.
Holden bent down to listen. ' Keep nothing of mine/
said Ameera. ' Take no hair from my head. She would
make thee burn it later on. That flame I should feel.
Lower ! Stoop lower ! Eemember only that I was
thine and bore thee a son. Though thou wed a white
woman to-morrow, the pleasure of receiving in thy arms
thy first son is taken from thee for ever. Eemember me
when thy son is born — the one that shall carry thy name
before all men. His misfortunes be on my head. I bear
witness — I bear witness ' — the lips were forming the words
on his ear — c that there is no God but — thee, beloved ! '

Then she died. Holden sat still, and all thought was
taken from him, — till he heard Arneera's mother lift the
curtain.

' Is she dead, sahib ? '

' She is dead/

1 Then I will mourn, and afterwards take an inventory
of the furniture in this house. For that will be mine.
The sahib does not mean to resume it ? It is so little, so
very little, sahib, and I am an old woman. I would like
to lie softly.'

' For the mercy of God be silent a while. Go out
and mourn where I cannot hear.'

' Sahib, she will be buried in four hours.'

' I know the custom. I shall go ere she is taken
away. That matter is in thy hands. Look to it, that the
bed on which — on which she lies

'Alia! That beautiful red -lacquered bed. I have
long desired '

156 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' That the bed is left here untouched for my disposal.
All else in the house is thine. Hire a cart, take
everything, go hence, and before sunrise let there be
nothing in this house but that which I have ordered
thee to respect.'

' I am an old woman. I would stay at least for the
days of mourning, and the rains have just broken.
Whither shall I go ? '

' What is that to me ? My order is that there is
a going. The house-gear is worth a thousand rupees and
my orderly shall bring thee a hundred rupees to-night.'

' That is very little. Think of the cart-hire/

' It shall be nothing unless thou goest, and with speed.
0 woman, get hence and leave me with my dead ! '

The mother shuffled down the staircase, and in her
anxiety to take stock of the house -fittings forgot to
mourn. Holden stayed by Ameera's side and the rain
roared on the roof. He could not think connectedly
by reason of the noise, though he made many attempts
to do so. Then four sheeted ghosts glided dripping into
the room and stared at him through their veils. They
were the washers of the dead. Holden left the room and
went out to his horse. He had come in a dead, stifling

o

calm through ankle-deep dust. He found the courtyard
a rain-lashed pond alive with frogs ; a torrent of yellow
water ran under the gate, and a roaring wind drove the
bolts of the rain like buckshot against the mud-walls.
Pir Khan was shivering in his little hut by the gate, and
the horse was stamping uneasily in the water.

' I have been told the sahib's order,' said Pir Khan.
' It is well. This house is now desolate. I go also, for
my monkey-face would be a reminder of that which has
been. Concerning the bed, I will bring that to thy
house yonder in the morning; but remember, sahib,

WITHOUT BENEFIT OF CLERGY 157

it will be to thee a knife turning in a green wound.
I go upon a pilgrimage, and I will take no money.
I have grown fat in the protection of the Presence
whose sorrow is my sorrow. For the last time I hold
his stirrup.'

He touched Holden's foot with both hands and the
horse sprang out into the road, where the creaking
bamboos were whipping the sky and all the frogs were
chuckling. Holden could not see for the rain in his
face. He put his hands before his eyes and muttered —

' Oh you brute ! You utter brute ! '

The news of his trouble was already in his bungalow.
He read the knowledge in his butler's eyes when Ahmed
Khan brought in food, and for the first and last time in
his life laid a hand upon his master's shoulder, saying,
' Eat, sahib, eat. Meat is good against sorrow. I also
have known. Moreover the shadows come and go,
sahib; the shadows come and go. These be curried

eggs.

Holden could neither eat nor sleep. The heavens
sent down eight inches of rain in that night and
washed the earth clean. The waters tore down walls,
broke roads, and scoured open the shallow graves on
the Mahomedan burying - ground. All next day it
rained, and Holden sat still in his house considering
his sorrow. On the morning of the third day he re
ceived a telegram which said only, ' Eicketts, Myndonie.
Dying. Holden relieve. Immediate.' Then he thought
that before he departed he would look at the house
wherein he had been master and lord. There was a
break in the weather, and the rank earth steamed with
vapour.

He found that the rains had torn down the mud
pillars of the gateway, and the heavy wooden gate that

158 LIFE'S HANDICAP

had guarded his life hung lazily from one hinge. There
was grass three inches high in the courtyard; Pir Khan's
lodge was empty, and the sodden thatch sagged between
the beams. A gray squirrel was in possession of the
verandah, as if the house had been untenanted for thirty
years instead of three days. Ameera's mother had re
moved everything except some mildewed matting. The
tick-tick of the little scorpions as they hurried across the
floor was the only sound in the house. Ameera's room
and the other one where Tota had lived were heavy with
mildew ; and the narrow staircase leading to the roof was
streaked and stained with rain-borne mud. Holden saw
all these things, and came out again to meet in the road
Durga Dass, his landlord, — portly, affable, clothed in
white muslin, and driving a Gee-spring buggy. He was
overlooking his property to see how the roofs stood the
stress of the first rains.

' I have heard/ said he, ' you will not take this place
any more, sahib ? '

' What are you going to do with it ? '
' Perhaps I shall let it again/
' Then I will keep it on while I am away.'
Durga Dass was silent for some time. 'You shall
not take it on, sahib,' he said. ' When I was a young

man I also , but to-day I am a member of the

Municipality. Ho ! Ho ! No. When the birds have
gone what need to keep the nest ? I will have it pulled
down — the timber will sell for something always. It
shall be pulled down, and the Municipality shall make a
road across, as they desire, from the burning-ghaut to the
city wall, so that no man may say where this house
stood.'

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE

The sky is lead and our faces are red,
And the gates of Hell are opened and riven,
And the winds of Hell are loosened and driven,

And the dust flies up in the face of Heaven,
And the clouds come down in a fiery sheet,

Heavy to raise and hard to be borne.

And the soul of man is turned from his meat,

Turned from the trifles for which he has striven
Sick in his body, and heavy hearted,
And his soul flies up like the dust in the sheet
Breaks from his flesh and is gone and departed,

As the blasts they blow on the cholera-horn.

Himalayan.

FOUR men, each entitled to ' life, liberty, and the pursuit
of happiness/ sat at a table playing whist. The thermo
meter marked — for them — one hundred and one degrees
of heat. The room was darkened till it was only just
possible to distinguish the pips of the cards and the very
white faces of the players. A tattered, rotten punkah of
whitewashed calico was puddling the hot air and whining
dolefully at each stroke. Outside lay gloom of a Novem
ber day in London. There was neither sky, sun, nor
horizon, — nothing but a brown purple haze of heat. It
was as though the earth were dying of apoplexy.

From time to time clouds of tawny dust rose from
the ground without wind or warning, flung themselves
tablecloth-wise among the tops of the parched trees,
and came down again. Then a- whirling dust-devil would

160 LIFE'S HANDICAP

scutter across the plain for a couple of miles, break, and
fall outward, though there was nothing to check its flight
save a long low line of piled railway-sleepers white with
the dust, a cluster of huts made of mud, condemned rails,
and canvas, and the one squat four-roomed bungalow that
belonged to the assistant engineer in charge of a section
of the Gaudhari State line then under construction.

The four, stripped to the thinnest of sleeping -suits,
played whist crossly, with wranglings as to leads and
returns. It was not the best kind of whist, but they had
taken some trouble to arrive at it. Mottram of the Indian
Survey had ridden thirty and railed one hundred miles
from his lonely post in the desert since the night before ;
Lowndes of the Civil Service, on special duty in the
political department, had come as far to escape for an
instant the miserable intrigues of an impoverished native
State whose king alternately fawned and blustered for
more money from the pitiful revenues contributed by
hard -wrung peasants and despairing camel - breeders ;
Spurstow, the doctor of the line, had left a cholera-stricken
camp of coolies to look after itself for forty-eight hours
while he associated with white men once more. Hummil,
the assistant engineer, was the host. He stood fast and
received his friends thus every Sunday if they could come
in. When one of them failed to appear, he would send
a telegram to his last address, in order that he might
know whether the defaulter were dead or alive. There are
very many places in the East where it is not good or kind
to let your acquaintances drop out of sight even for one
short week.

The players were not conscious of any special regard
for each other. They squabbled whenever they met ; but
they ardently desired to meet, as men without water
desire to drink. They were lonely folk who understood

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 161

the dread meaning of loneliness. They were all under
thirty years of age, — which is too soon for any man to
possess that knowledge.

' Pilsener ? ' said Spurstow, after the second rubber,
mopping his forehead.

'Beer's out, I'm sorry to say, and there's hardly
enough soda-water for to-night,' said Hummil.

' What filthy bad management ! ' Spurstow snarled.

' Can't help it. I've written and wired ; but the trains
don't come through regularly yet. Last week the ice ran
out, — as Lowndes knows.'

' Glad I didn't come. I could ha' sent you some if I
had known, though. Phew ! it's too hot to go on playing
bumblepuppy.' This with a savage scowl at Lowndes, who
only laughed. He was a hardened offender.

Mottram rose from the table and looked out of a
chink in the shutters.

' What a sweet day ! ' said he.

The company yawned all together and betook them
selves to an aimless investigation of all Hummil's pos
sessions, — guns, tattered novels, saddlery, spurs, and the
like. They had fingered them a score of times before,
but there was really nothing else to do.

' Got anything fresh ? ' said Lowndes.

' Last week's Gazette of India, and a cutting from a
home paper. My father sent it out. It's rather
amusing.'

' One of those vestrymen that call 'emselves M.P.'s
again, is it ? ' said Spurstow, who read his newspapers
when he could get them.

' Yes. Listen to this. It's to your address, Lowndes.
The man was making a speech to his constituents, and he
piled it on. Here's a sample, " And I assert unhesitatingly
that the Civil Service in India is the preserve — the pet

M

162 LIFE'S HANDICAP

preserve — -of the aristocracy of England. What does the
democracy — what do the masses — get from that country,
which we have step by step fraudulently annexed ? I
answer, nothing whatever. It is farmed with a single eye
to their own interests by the scions of the aristocracy.
They take good care to maintain their lavish scale of
incomes, to avoid or stifle any inquiries into the nature
and conduct of their administration, while they themselves
force the unhappy peasant to pay with the sweat of his
brow for all the luxuries in which they are lapped."'
Hummil waved the cutting above his head. ' 'Ear ! 'ear ! '
said his audience.

Then Lowndes, meditatively, ' I'd give — I'd give three
months' pay to have that gentleman spend one month with
me and see how the free and independent native prince
works things. Old Timbersides '- — this was his flippant
title for an honoured and decorated feudatory prince —
' has been wearing my life out this week past for money.
By Jove, his latest performance was to send me one of
his women as a bribe ! '

' Good for you ! Did you accept it ? ' said Mottram.

' No. I rather wish I had, now. She was a pretty
little person, and she yarned away to me about the horrible
destitution among the king's women -folk. The darlings
haven't had any new clothes for nearly a month, and
the old man wants to buy a new drag from Calcutta, —
solid silver railings and silver lamps, and trifles of that
kind. I've tried to make him understand that he has
played the deuce with the revenues for the last twenty
years and must go slow. He can't see it.'

' But he has the ancestral treasure-vaults to draw on.
There must be three millions at least in jewels and coin
under his palace,' said Hummil.

' Catch a native king disturbing the family treasure !

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 163

The priests forbid it except as the last resort. Old
Timbersides has added something like a quarter of a
million to the deposit in his reign.'

' Where the mischief does it all come from ? ' said
Mottram.

' The country. The state of the people is enough to
make you sick. I've known the tax-men wait by a
milch-camel till the foal was born and then hurry off the
mother for arrears. And what can I do ? I can't get
the court clerks to give me any accounts ; I can't raise
anything more than a fat smile from the commander-in-
chief when I find out the troops are three months in
arrears ; and old Timbersides begins to weep when I speak
to him. He has taken to the King's Peg heavily, — liqueur
brandy for whisky, and Heidsieck for soda-water.'

'That's what the Eao of Jubela took to. Even a
native can't last long at that/ said Spurstow. ' He'll go
out.'

'And a good thing, too. Then I suppose we'll have
a council of regency, and a tutor for the young prince,
and hand him back his kingdom with ten years'
accumulations.'

' Whereupon that young prince, having been taught all
the vices of the English, will play ducks and drakes with
the money and undo ten years' work in eighteen months.
I've seen that business before,' said Spurstow. ' I should
tackle the king with a light hand, if I were you, Lowndes.
They'll hate you quite enough under any circumstances.'

' That's all very well. The man who looks on can
talk about the light hand ; but you can't clean a pig-stye
with a pen dipped in rose-water. I know my risks ; but
nothing has happened yet. My servant's an old Pathan,
and he cooks for me. They are hardly likely to bribe him,
and I don't accept food from my true friends, as they call

164 LIFE'S HANDICAP

themselves. Oh, but it's weary work ! I'd sooner be
with you, Spurstow. There's shooting near your camp.'

' Would you ? I don't think it. About fifteen deaths
a day don't incite a man to shoot anything but himself.
And the worst of it is that the poor devils look at you as
though you ought to save them. Lord knows, I've tried
everything. My last attempt was empirical, but it pulled
an old man through. He was brought to me apparently
past hope, and I gave him gin and Worcester sauce with
cayenne. It cured him ; but I don't recommend it.'

' How do the cases run generally ? ' said Hummil.

' Very simply indeed. Chlorodyne, opium pill, chloro-
dyne, collapse, nitre, bricks to the feet, and then — the
burning-ghat. The last seems to be the only thing that
stops the trouble. It's black cholera, you know. Poor
devils ! But, I will say, little Bunsee Lai, my apothecary,
works like a demon. I've recommended him for promotion
if he comes through it all alive.'

' And what are your chances, old man ? ' said Mottram.

' Don't know ; don't care much ; but I've sent the
letter in. What are you doing with yourself generally ? '

' Sitting under a table in the tent and spitting on the
sextant to keep it cool,' said the man of the survey.
' Washing my eyes to avoid ophthalmia, which I shall
certainly get, and trying to make a sub -survey or under
stand that an error of five degrees in an angle isn't quite
so small as it looks. I'm altogether alone, y' know, and
shall be till the end of the hot weather.'

'Hummil's the lucky man,' said Lowndes, flinging
himself into a long chair. ' He has an actual roof— torn
as to the ceiling-cloth, but still a roof — over his head.
He sees one train daily. He can get beer and soda-water
and ice 'em when God is good. He has books, pictures,'-
they were torn from the Graphic, — ' and the society of

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 165

the excellent sub-contractor Jevins, besides the pleasure
of receiving us weekly.'

Hummil smiled grimly. 'Yes, I'm the lucky man, I
suppose. Jevins is luckier.'

' How ? Not '

' Yes. Went out. Last Monday.'

* By his own hand ? ' said Spurstow quickly, hinting
the suspicion that was in everybody's mind. There was
no cholera near Hummil's section. Even fever gives a
man at least a week's grace, and sudden death generally
implied self-slaughter.

'I judge no man this weather,' said Hummil. 'He
had a touch of the sun, I fancy ; for last week, after you
fellows had left, he came into the verandah and told me
that he was going home to see his wife, in Market Street,
Liverpool, that evening.

' I got the apothecary in to look at him, and we tried
to make him lie down. After an hour or two he rubbed
his eyes and said he believed he had had a fit, — hoped he
hadn't said anything rude. Jevins had a great idea of
bettering himself socially. He was very like Chucks in
his language.'

' Well ? '

' Then he went to his own bungalow and began clean
ing a rifle. He told the servant that he was going to
shoot buck in the morning. Naturally he fumbled with
the trigger, and shot himself through the head — accident
ally. The apothecary sent in a report to my chief, and
Jevins is buried somewhere out there. I'd have wired to
you, Spurstow, if you could have done anything/

' You're a queer chap,' said Mottram. ' If you'd killed
the man yourself you couldn't have been more quiet about
the business.'

' Good Lord ! what does it matter ? ' said Hummil

166 LIFE'S HANDICAP

calmly. ' I've got to do a lot of his overseeing work in
addition to my own. I'm the only person that suffers.
Jevins is out of it, — by pure accident, of course, but out
of it. The apothecary was going to write a long screed
on suicide. Trust a babu to drivel when he gets the
chance.'

' Why didn't you let it go in as suicide ? ' said
Lowndes.

1 No direct proof. A man hasn't many privileges in
this country, but he might at least be allowed to mis
handle his own rifle. Besides, some day I may need a
man to smother up an accident to myself. Live and
let live. Die and let die.'

' You take a pill,' said Spurstow, who had been watch
ing Hummil's white face narrowly. 'Take a pill, and
don't be an ass. That sort of talk is skittles. Anyhow,
suicide is shirking your work. If I were Job ten times
over, I should be so interested in what was going to
happen next that I'd stay on and watch.'

' Ah ! I've lost that curiosity,' said Hummil.

' Liver out of order ? ' said Lowndes feelingly.

' No. Can't sleep. That's worse.'

' By Jove, it is ! ' said Mottram. ' I'm that way every
now and then, and the fit has to wear itself out. What
do you take for it ? '

' Nothing. What's the use ? I haven't had ten
minutes' sleep since Friday morning.'

'Poor chap! Spurstow, you ought to attend to this,'
said Mottram. 'Now you mention it, your eyes are
rather gummy and swollen.'

Spurstow, still watching Hummil, laughed lightly.
' I'll patch him up, later on. Is it too hot, do you think,
to go for a ride ? '

' Where to ? ' said Lowndes wearily. ' We shall have

. AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 167

to go away at eight, and there'll be riding enough for us
then. I hate a horse, when I have to use him as a
necessity. Oh, heavens ! what is there to do ? '

' Begin whist again, at chick points [' a chick ' is sup
posed to be eight shillings] and a gold mohur on the rub/
said Spurstow promptly.

' Poker. A month's pay all round for the pool, — no
limit, — and fifty-rupee raises. Somebody would be broken
before we got up/ said Lowndes.

' Can't say that it would give me any pleasure to break
any man in this company/ said Mottram. ' There isn't
enough excitement in it, and it's foolish/ He crossed
over to the worn and battered little camp-piano, — wreck
age of a married household that had once held the
bungalow, — and opened the case.

' It's used up long ago/ said Hummil. ' The servants
have picked it to pieces/

The piano was indeed hopelessly out of order, but
Mottram managed to bring the rebellious notes into a sort
of agreement, and there rose from the ragged keyboard
something that might once have been the ghost of a
popular music-hall song. The men in the long chairs
turned with evident interest as Mottram banged the more
lustily.

' That's good ! ' said Lowndes. ' By Jove ! the last
time I heard that song was in "79, or thereabouts, just
before I came out/

'Ah ! ' said Spurstow with pride, ' I was home in '80.'
And he mentioned a song of the streets popular at that
date.

Mottram executed it roughly. Lowndes criticised
and volunteered emendations. Mottram dashed into an
other ditty, not of the music-hall character, and made
as if to rise.

168 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Sit down/ said Hummil. ' I didn't know that you
had any music in your composition. Go on playing until
you can't think of anything more. I'll have that piano
tuned up before you come again. Play something
festive.'

Very simple indeed were the tunes to which Mottram's
art and the limitations of the piano could give effect, but
the men listened with pleasure, and in the pauses talked
all together of what they had seen or heard when they
were last at home. A dense dust-storm sprung up out
side, and swept roaring over the house, enveloping it in
the choking darkness of midnight, but Mottram continued
unheeding, and the crazy tinkle reached the ears of the
listeners above the flapping of the tattered ceiling-cloth.

In the silence after the storm he glided from the
more directly personal songs of Scotland, half humming
them as he played, into the Evening Hymn.

' Sunday/ said he, nodding his head.

' Go on. Don't apologise for it/ said Spurstow.

Hummil laughed long and riotously. ' Play it, by all
means. You're full of surprises to-day. I didn't know
you had such a gift of finished sarcasm. How does that
thing go ? '

Mottram took up the tune.

' Too slow by half. You miss the note of gratitude/
said Hummil. ' It ought to go to the " Grasshopper's
Polka/' — this way/ And he chanted, prestissimo, —

* Glory to thee, my God, this night,
For all the blessings of the light.

That shows we really feel our blessings. How does it go
on? —

' If in the night I sleepless lie,

My soul with sacred thoughts supply ;

May no ill dreams disturb my rest,' —

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 169

Quicker, Mottram ! —

' Or powers of darkness me molest ! '

' Bah ! what an old hypocrite you are ! '

' Don't be an ass/ said Lowndes. ' You are at full
liberty to make fun of anything else you like, but leave
that hymn alone. It's associated in my mind with the
most sacred recollections '

'Summer evenings in the country, — stained -glass
window, — light going out, and you and she jamming your
heads together over one hymn-book/ said Mottram.

' Yes, and a fat old cockchafer hitting you in the eye
when you walked home. Smell of hay, and a moon as
big as a bandbox sitting on the top of a haycock ; bats,
— roses, — milk and midges/ said Lowndes.

' Also mothers. I can just recollect my mother singing
me to sleep with that when I was a little chap/ said
Spurstow.

The darkness had fallen on the room. They could
hear Hummil squirming in his chair.

' Consequently/ said he testily, ' you sing it when you
are seven fathom deep in Hell ! It's an insult to the
intelligence of the Deity to pretend we're anything but
tortured rebels/

' Take two pills/ said Spurstow ; ' that's tortured
liver.'

' The usually placid Hummil is in a vile bad temper.
I'm sorry for his coolies to-morrow/ said Lowndes, as the
servants brought in the lights and prepared the table for
dinner.

As they were settling into their places about the miser
able goat-chops, and the smoked tapioca pudding, Spurstow
took occasion to whisper to Mottram, 'Well done, David ! '

' Look after Saul, then/ was the reply.

170 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' What are you two whispering about ? ' said Hummil
suspiciously.

' Only saying that you are a damned poor host. This
fowl can't be cut/ returned Spurstow with a sweet smile.
1 Call this a dinner ? '

' I can't help it. You don't expect a banquet, do you ? '

Throughout that meal Hummil contrived laboriously
to insult directly and pointedly all his guests in succession,
and at each insult Spurstow kicked the aggrieved persons
under the table ; but he dared not exchange a glance of
intelligence with either of them. Hummil's face was
white and pinched, while his eyes were unnaturally large.
No man dreamed for a moment of resenting his savage
personalities, but as soon as the meal was over they made
haste to get away.

' Don't go. You're just getting amusing, you fellows.
I hope I haven't said anything that annoyed you.
You're such touchy devils.' Then, changing the note into
one of almost abject entreaty, Hummil added, ' I say, you
surely aren't going ? '

'In the language of the blessed Jorrocks, where I
dines I sleeps,' said Spurstow. ' I want to have a look at
your coolies to-morrow, if you don't mind. You can give
me a place to lie down in, I suppose ? '

The others pleaded the urgency of their several
duties next day, and, saddling up, departed together,
Hummil begging them to come next Sunday. As they
jogged off, Lowndes unbosomed himself to Mottram —

' . . . And I never felt so like kicking a man at his
own table in my life. He said I cheated at whist, and re
minded me I was in debt ! 'Told you you were as good
as a liar to your face ! You aren't half indignant enough
over it.'

' Not I,' said Mottram. ' Poor devil ! Did you ever

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 171

know old Hummy behave like that before or within a
hundred miles of it ? '

' That's no excuse. Spurstow was hacking my shin
all the time, so I kept a hand on myself. Else I should
have '

' No, you wouldn't. You'd have done as Hummy did
about Jevins ; judge no man this weather. By Jove !
the buckle of my bridle is hot in my hand ! Trot out a
bit, and 'ware rat-holes.'

Ten minutes' trotting jerked out of Lowndes one very
sage remark when he pulled up, sweating from every
pore —

' 'Good thing Spurstow's with him to-night/

' Ye-es. Good man, Spurstow. Our roads turn here.
See you again next Sunday, if the sun doesn't bowl me
over.'

' S'pose so, unless old Timbersides' finance minister
manages to dress some of my food. Good-night, and —
God bless you ! '

* What's wrong now ? '

' Oh, nothing.' Lowndes gathered up his whip, and,
as he flicked Mottram's mare on the flank, added,
' You're not a bad little chap, — that's all.' And the
mare bolted half a mile across the sand, on the
word.

In the assistant engineer's bungalow Spurstow and
Hummil smoked the pipe of silence together, each nar
rowly watching the other. The capacity of a bachelor's
establishment is as elastic as its arrangements are simple.
A servant cleared away the dining-room table, brought
in a couple of rude native bedsteads made of tape
strung on a light wood frame, flung a square of cool
Calcutta matting over each, set them side by side, pinned
two towels to the punkah so that their fringes should

172 LIFE'S HANDICAP

just sweep clear of the sleepers' nose and mouth, and
announced that the couches were ready.

The men flung themselves down, ordering the punkah-
coolies by all the powers of Hell to pull. Every door
and window was shut, for the outside air was that of
an oven. The atmosphere within was only 104°, as
the thermometer bore witness, and heavy with the foul
smell of badly-trimmed kerosene lamps ; and this stench,
combined with that of native tobacco, baked brick, and
dried earth, sends the heart of many a strong man down
to his boots, for it is the smell of the Great Indian
Empire when she turns herself for six months into a
house of torment. Spurstow packed his pillows craftily
so that he reclined rather than lay, his head at a safe
elevation above his feet. It is not good to sleep on a
low pillow in the hot weather if you happen to be of
thick-necked build, for you may pass with lively snores
and gugglings from natural sleep into the deep slumber
of heat-apoplexy.

* Pack your pillows,' said the doctor sharply, as he
saw Hummil preparing to lie down at full length.

The night-light was trimmed ; the shadow of the
punkah wavered across the room, and the 'flick ' of the
punkah -towel and the soft whine of the rope through
the wall -hole followed it. Then the punkah flagged,
almost ceased. The sweat poured from Spurstow's brow.
Should he go out and harangue the coolie ? It started
forward again with a savage jerk, and a pin came out of
the towels. When this was replaced, a tomtom in the
coolie -lines began to beat with the steady throb of a
swollen artery inside some brain -fevered skull. Spur-
stow turned on his side and swore gently. There was
no movement on Hummil's part. The man had com
posed himself as rigidly as a corpse, his hands clinched

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 173

at his sides. The respiration was too hurried for any
suspicion of sleep. Spurstow looked at the set face. The
jaws were clinched, and there was a pucker round the
quivering eyelids.

'He's holding himself as tightly as ever he can/
thought Spurstow. 'What in the world is the matter
with him ? — Hummil ! '

' Yes/ in a thick constrained voice.

' Can't you get to sleep ? '

'No/

' Head hot ? 'Throat feeling -bulgy ? or how ? '

'Neither, thanks. I don't sleep much, you know/

' 'Feel pretty bad ? '

' Pretty bad, thanks. There is a tomtom outside, isn't
there ? I thought it was my head at first. . . . Oh
Spurstow, for pity's sake give me something that will
put me asleep, — sound asleep, — if it's only for six hours ! '
He sprang up, trembling from head to foot. ' I haven't
been able to sleep naturally for days, and I can't stand
it ! — I can't stand it ! '

' Poor old chap ! '

' That's no use. Give me something to make me sleep.
I tell you I'm nearly mad. I don't know what I say
half my time. For three weeks I've had to think and
spell out every word that has come through my lips
before I dared say it. Isn't that enough to drive a man
mad ? I can't see things correctly now, and I've lost my
sense of touch. My skin aches — my skin aches ! Make
me sleep. Oh Spurstow, for the love of God make me
sleep sound. It isn't enough merely to let me dream.
Let me sleep ! '

' All right, old man, all right. Go slow ; you aren't
half as bad as you think.'

The flood-gates of reserve once broken, Hummil was

174 LIFE'S HANDICAP

clinging to him like a frightened child. ' You're pinching
my arm to pieces.'

' I'll break your neck if you don't do something for
me. No, I didn't mean that. Don't be angry, old
fellow.' He wiped the sweat off himself as he fought
to regain composure. ' I'm a bit restless and off my oats,
and perhaps you could recommend some sort of sleep
ing mixture, — bromide of potassium.'

' Bromide of skittles ! Why didn't you tell me this
before ? Let go of my arm, and I'll see if there's
anything in my cigarette-case to suit your complaint.'
Spurstow hunted among his day -clothes, turned up the
lamp, opened a little silver cigarette-case, and advanced
on the expectant Hummil with the daintiest of fairy
squirts.

' The last appeal of civilisation,' said he, ' and a thing
I hate to use. Hold out your arm. Well, your sleep
lessness hasn't ruined your muscle ; and what a thick
hide it is ! Might as well inject a buffalo subcutane-
ously. Now in a few minutes the morphia will begin
working. Lie down and wait.'

A smile of unalloyed and idiotic delight began to
creep over Hummil's face. 'I think,' he whispered, — ' I
think I'm going off now. Gad ! it's positively heavenly !
Spurstow, you must give me that case to keep ; you - '
The voice ceased as the head fell back.

for a good deal,' said Spurstow to the uncon
scious form. ' And now, my friend, sleeplessness of your
kind being very apt to relax the moral fibre in little
matters of life and death, I'll just take the liberty of
spiking your guns.'

He paddled into Hummil's saddle -room in his bare
feet and uncased a twelve-bore rifle, an express, and a
revolver. Of the first he unscrewed the nipples and

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 175

hid them in the bottom of a saddlery -case ; of the
second he abstracted the lever, kicking it behind a big
wardrobe. The third he merely opened, and knocked
the doll -head bolt of the grip up with the heel of a
riding-boot.

'That's settled/ he said, as he shook the sweat off
his hands. 'These little precautions will at least give
you time to turn. You have too much sympathy with
gun-room accidents.'

And as he rose from his knees, the thick muffled voice
of Hummil cried in the doorway, ' You fool !'

Such tones they use who speak in the lucid intervals
of delirium to their friends a little before they die.

Spurstow started, dropping the pistol. Hummil stood
in the doorway, rocking with helpless laughter.

1 That was awf ly good of you, I'm sure/ he said, very
slowly, feeling for his words. ' I don't intend to go out
by my own hand at present. I say, Spurstow, that
stuff won't work. What shall I do ? What shaU I do ? '
And panic terror stood in his eyes.

' Lie down and give it a chance. Lie down at once.'

' I daren't. It will only take me half-way again, and
I shan't be able to get away this time. Do you know
it was all I could do to come out just now ? Gene
rally I am. as quick as lightning ; but you had clogged
my feet. I was nearly caught.'

' Oh yes, I understand. Go and lie down.'

' No, it isn't delirium ; but it was an awfully mean
trick to play on me. Do you know I might have died ?'

As a sponge rubs a slate clean, so some power
unknown to Spurstow had wiped out of Hummil's face
all that stamped it for the face of a man, and he stood
at the doorway in the expression of his lost innocence.
He had slept back into terrified childhood.

176 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Is he going to die on the spot ? ' thought Spurstow.
Then, aloud, ' All right, my son. Come back to bed, and
tell me all about it. You couldn't sleep ; but what was
all the rest of the nonsense?'

'A place, — a place down there,' said Hummil, with
simple sincerity. The drug was acting on him by waves,
and he was flung from the fear of a strong man to the
fright of a child as his nerves gathered sense or were
dulled.

' Good God ! I've been afraid of it for months past,
Spurstow. It has made every night hell to me; and
yet I'm not conscious of having done anything wrong.'

' Be still, and I'll give you another dose. "We'll stop
your nightmares, you unutterable idiot ! '

'Yes, but you must give me so much that I can't
get away. You must make me quite sleepy, — not just
a little sleepy. It's so hard to run then/

' I know it ; I know it. I've felt it myself. The
symptoms are exactly as you describe.'

' Oh, don't laugh at me, confound you ! Before this
awful sleeplessness came to me I've tried to rest on my
elbow and put a spur in the bed to sting me when I
fell back. Look ! '

' By Jove ! the man has been rowelled like a horse !
Eidden by the nightmare with a vengeance ! And we all
thought him sensible enough. Heaven send us under
standing ! You like to talk, don't you ? '

' Yes, sometimes. Not when I'm frightened. Then
I want to run. Don't you ? '

'Always. Before I give you your second dose try
to tell me exactly what your trouble is.'

Hummil spoke in broken whispers for nearly ten
minutes, whilst Spurstow looked into the pupils of his
eyes and passed his hand before them once or twice.

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 177

At the end of the narrative the silver cigarette-case
was produced, and the last words that Hummil said as he
fell back for the second time were, ' Put me quite to
sleep ; for if I'm caught I die, — I die ! '

' Yes, yes ; we all do that sooner or later, — thank
Heaven who has set a term to our miseries/ said Spur-
stow, settling the cushions under the head. ' It occurs
to me that unless I drink something I shall go out
before my time. I've stopped sweating, and — I wear
a seventeen -inch collar.' He brewed himself scald
ing hot tea, which is an excellent remedy against heat-
apoplexy if you take three or four cups of it in time.
Then he watched the sleeper.

'A blind face that cries and can't wipe its eyes,
a blind face that chases him down corridors ! H'm !
Decidedly, Hummil ought to go on leave as soon as
possible ; and, sane or otherwise, he undoubtedly did
rowel himself most cruelly. Well, Heaven send us
understanding ! '

At mid-day Hummil rose, with an evil taste in his
mouth, but an unclouded eye and a joyful heart.

' I was pretty bad last night, wasn't I ? ' said he.

1 1 have seen healthier men. You must have had a
touch of the sun. Look here : if I write you a swingeing
medical certificate, will you apply for leave on the spot ? '

' Why not ? You want it.'

'Yes, but I can hold on till the weather's a little
cooler.'

' Why should you, if you can get relieved on the spot ? '

' Burkett is the only man who could be sent ; and he's
a born fool.'

' Oh, never mind about the line. You aren't so
important as all that. Wire for leave, if necessary/

N

178 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Hummil looked very uncomfortable.

' I can hold on till the Eains,' he said evasively.

' You can't. Wire to headquarters for Burkett.'

' I won't. If you want to know why, particularly,
Burkett is married, and his wife's just had a kid, and
she's up at Simla, in the cool, and Burkett has a very
nice billet that takes him into Simla from Saturday to
Monday. That little woman isn't at all well. If Burkett
was transferred she'd try to follow him. If she left the
baby behind she'd fret herself to death. If she came,
—and Burkett's one of those selfish little beasts who
are always talking about a wife's place being with her
husband, — she'd die. It's murder to bring a woman here
just now. Burkett hasn't the physique of a rat. If he
came here he'd go out ; and I know she hasa't any
money, and I'm pretty sure she'd go out too. I'm salted
in a sort of way, and I'm not married. Wait till the
Eains, and then Burkett can get thin down here. It'll do
him heaps of good/

'Do you mean to say that you intend to face — what
you have faced, till the Eains break ? '

' Oh, it won't be so bad, now you've shown me a way
out of it. I can always wire to you. Besides, now I've
once got into the way of sleeping, it'll be all right. Any
how, I shan't put in for leave. That's the long and the
short of it/

1 My great Scott ! I thought all that sort of thing was
dead and done with/

' Bosh ! You'd do the same yourself. I feel a new
man, thanks to that cigarette-case. You're going over
to camp now, aren't you ? '

' Yes; but I'll try to look you up every other day,if I can/

' I'm not bad enough for that. I don't want you to
bother. Give the coolies gin and ketchup/

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 179

' Then you feel all right ? '

' Fit to fight for my life, but not to stand out. in the
sun talking to you. Go along, old man, and bless you !'

Hummil turned on his heel to face the echoing deso
lation of his bungalow, and the first thing he «aw stand
ing in the verandah was the figure of himself. He had
met a similar apparition once before, when he was suffer
ing from overwork and the strain of the hot weather.

' This is bad, — already,' he said, rubbing his eyes. ' If
the thing slides away from me all in one piece, like a
ghost, I shall know it is only my eyes and stomach that
are out of order. If it walks — my head is going.'

He approached the figure, which naturally kept at an
unvarying distance from him, as is the use of all spectres
that are born of overwork. It slid through the house
and dissolved into swimming specks within the eyeball
as soon as it reached the burning light of the garden.
Hummil went about his business till even. When he
came in to dinner he found himself sitting at the
table. The vision rose and walked out hastily. Ex
cept that it cast no shadow it was in all respects
real.

No living man knows what that week held for
Hummil. An increase of the epidemic kept Spurstow
in camp among the coolies, and all he could do was
to telegraph to Mottram, bidding him go to the
bungalow and sleep there. But Mottram was forty
miles away from the nearest telegraph, and knew nothing
of anything save the needs of the survey till he met,
early on Sunday morning, Lowndes and Spurstow heading
towards Hummil's for the weekly gathering.

'Hope the poor chap's in a better temper/ said the
former, swinging himself off his horse at the door. ' I
suppose he isn't up yet.'

180 LIFE'S HANDICAP

c I'll just have a look at him,' said the doctor. ' If
he's asleep there's no need to wake him/

And an instant later, by the tone of Spurstow's voice
calling upon them to enter, the men knew what had
happened. There was no need to wake him.

The punkah was still being pulled over the bed, but
Hummil had departed this life at least three hours.

The body lay on its back, hands clinched by the side,
as Spurstow had seen it lying seven nights previously.
In the staring eyes was written terror beyond the ex
pression of any pen.

Mottram, who had entered behind Lowndes, bent over
the dead and touched the forehead lightly with his lips.
' Oh, you lucky, lucky devil ! ' he whispered.

But Lowndes had seen the eyes, and withdrew
shuddering to the other side of the room.

* Poor chap ! poor old chap ! And the last time I met
him I was angry. Spurstow, we should have watched
him. Has he ? '

Deftly Spurstow continued his investigations, ending
by a search round the room.

' No, he hasn't/ he snapped. ' There's no trace of
anything. Call the servants/

They came, eight or ten of them, whispering and
peering over each other's shoulders.

' When did your Sahib go to bed ? ' said Spurstow.

' At eleven or ten, we think/ said Hummil's personal
servant.

' He was well then ? But how should you know ? '

' He was not ill, as far as our comprehension extended.
But he had slept very little for three nights. This I
know, because I saw him walking much, and specially in
the heart of the night/

As Spurstow was arranging the sheet, a big straight-

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 181

necked hunting-spur tumbled on the ground. The doctor
groaned. The personal servant peeped at the body.

' What do you think, Chuma ? ' said Spurstow, catch
ing the look on the dark face.

' Heaven-born, in my poor opinion, this that was my
master has descended into the Dark Places, and there has
been caught because he was not able to escape with
sufficient speed. We have the spur for evidence that he
fought with Fear. Thus have I seen men of my race do
with thorns when a spell was laid upon them to overtake
them in their sleeping hours and they dared not sleep.'

'Chuma, you're a mud -head.' Go out and prepare
seals to be set on the Sahib's property.'

' God has made the Heaven-born. God has made me.
Who are we, to inquire into the dispensations of God ?
I will bid the other servants hold aloof while you are
reckoning the tale of the Sahib's property. They are all
thieves, and would steal.'

'As far as I can make out, he died from — oh, any
thing; stoppage of the heart's action, heat -apoplexy,
or some other visitation,' said Spurstow to his com
panions. ' We must make an inventory of his effects,
and so on.'

' He was scared to death,' insisted Lowndes. ' Look
at those eyes ! For pity's sake don't let him be buried
with them open ! '

' Whatever it was, he's clear of all the trouble now,'
said Mottram softly.

Spurstow was peering into the open eyes.

' Come here,' said he. ' Can you see anything there ? '

' I can't face it ! ' whimpered Lowndes. ' Cover up the
face ! Is there any fear on earth that can turn a man
into that likeness ? It's ghastly. Oh, Spurstow, cover
it up ! '

182 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' No fear — on earth/ said Spurstow. Mottram leaned
over his shoulder and looked intently.

' I see nothing except some gray blurs in the pupil.
There can be nothing there, you know/

' Even so. Well, let's think. It'll take half a day
to knock up any sort of coffin ; and he must have died
at midnight. Lowndes, old man, go out and tell the
coolies to break ground next to Jevins's grave. Mottram,
go round the house with Chuma and see that the seals
are put on things. Send a couple of men to me here,
and I'll arrange.'

The strong-armed servants when thny returned to
their own kind told a strange story of the doctor Sahib
vainly trying to call their master back to life by magic
arts, — to wit, the holding of a little green box that
clicked to each of the dead man's eyes, and of a be
wildered muttering on the part of the doctor Sahib, who
took the little green box away with him.

The resonant hammering of a coffin-lid is no pleasant
thing to hear, but those who have experience main
tain that much more terrible is the soft swish, of
the bed -linen, the reeving and unreeving of the bed-
tapes, when he who has fallen by the roadside is
apparelled for burial, sinking gradually as the tapes
are tied over, till the swaddled shape touches the floor
and there is no protest against the indignity of hasty
disposal.

At the last moment Lowndes was seized with scruples
of conscience. ' Ought you to read the service, — from
beginning to end ? ' said he to Spurstow.

' I intend to. You're my senior as a civilian. You
can take it if you like.'

' I didn't mean that for a moment. I only thought if
we could get a chaplain from somewhere, — I'm willing to

AT THE END OF THE PASSAGE 183

ride anywhere, — and give poor Hummil a better chance.
That's all.'

' Bosh ! ' said Spurstow, as he framed his lips to the
tremendous words that stand at the head of the burial
service.

After breakfast they smoked a pipe in silence to the
memory of the dead. Then Spurstow said absently —

' 'Tisn't in medical science.'

' What ? '

' Things in a dead man's eye/

' For goodness' sake leave that horror alone ! ' said
Lowndes. ' I've seen a native die of pure fright when a
tiger chivied him. I know what killed Hummil/

' The deuce you do ! I'm going to try to see/ And
the doctor retreated into the bath-room with a Kodak
camera. After a few minutes there was the sound of
something being hammered to pieces, and he emerged,
very white indeed.

' Have you got a picture ? ' said Mottram. 'What does
the thing look like ? '

' It was impossible, of course. You needn't look,
Mottram. I've torn up the films. There was nothing
there. It was impossible/

' That/ said Lowndes, very distinctly, watching the
shaking hand striving to relight the pipe, 'is a damned
lie/

Mottram laughed uneasily. ' Spurstow's right/ he
said. c We're all in such a state now that we'd believe
anything. For pity's sake. let's try to- be rational/

There was no further speech for a long time. The
hot wind whistled without, and the dry trees sobbed.
Presently the daily train, winking brass, burnished steel,
and spouting steam, pulled up panting in the intense

184 LIFE'S HANDICAP

glare. ' We'd better go on on that/ said Spurstow.
'Go back to work. I've written my certificate. We
can't do any more good here, and work '11 keep our wits
together. Come on.'

No one moved. It is not pleasant to face railway
journeys at mid-day in June. Spurstow gathered up his
hat and whip, and, turning in the doorway, said —

' There may be Heaven, — there must be Hell.
Meantime, there is our life here. We-ell ? '

Neither Mottram nor Lowndes had any answer to the
question.

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVEEICKS

Causing

in forces

Sec. 7.
(1)

Conspiring
with other
persons to
cause

a mutiny
sedition

belonging
to Her
Majesty's

Regular forces,

Reserve forces,

Auxiliary forces,

Navy.

WHEN three obscure gentlemen in San Francisco argued
on insufficient premises they condemned a fellow-creature
to a most unpleasant death in a far country, which had
nothing whatever to do with the United States. They
foregathered at the top of a tenement-house in Tehama
Street, an unsavoury quarter of the city, and, there calling
for certain drinks, they 'conspired because they were con
spirators by trade, officially known as the Third Three of
the I. A. A. — an institution for the propagation of pure
light, not to be confounded with any others, though it is
affiliated to many. The Second "Three live in Montreal,
and work among the poor there; the First Three have
their home in New York, not far from Castle Garden,
and write regularly once a week to a small house near
one of the big hotels at Boulogne. What happens after
that, a particular section of Scotland Yard knows too
well, and laughs at. A conspirator detests ridicule.
More men have been stabbed with Lucrezia Borgia daggers
and dropped into the Thames for laughing at Head
Centres and Triangles than for betraying secrets ; for
this is human nature.

186 LIFE'S HANDICAP

The Third Three conspired over whisky cock -tails
and a clean sheet of notepaper against the British Empire
and all that lay therein. This work is very like what
men without discernment call politics before a general
election. You pick out and discuss, in the company of
congenial friends, all the weak points in your opponents'
organisation, and unconsciously dwell upon and exagger
ate all their mishaps, till it seems to you a miracle that
the hated party holds together for an hour.

( Our principle is not so much active demonstration —
that we leave to others — as passive embarrassment, to
weaken and unnerve/ said the first ma*i. ' Wherever an
organisation is crippled, wherever a confusion is thrown
into any branch of any department, we gain a step for
those who take on the work ; we are but the forerunners.'
He was a German enthusiast, and editor of a newspaper,
from whose leading articles he quoted frequently.

' That cursed Empire makes so many blunders of her
own that unless we doubled the year's average I guess
it wouldn't strike her anything special had occurred,'
said the second man. ' Are you prepared to say that all
our resources are equal to blowing off the muzzle of a
hundred-ton gun or spiking a ten-thousand-ton ship on
a plain rock in clear daylight ? They can beat us at our
own game. 'Better join hands with the practical branches ;
we're in funds now. Try a direct scare in a crowded
street. They value their greasy hides.' He was the
drag upon the wheel, and an Americanised Irishman of
the second generation, despising his own race and hating
the other. He had learned caution.

The third man drank his cock-tail and spoke no word.
He was the strategist, but unfortunately his knowledge
of life was limited. He picked a letter from his breast
pocket and threw it across the table. That epistle to the

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 187

heathen contained some very concise directions from the
First Three in New York. It said —

' The loom in black iron has already affected the eastern
markets, where our agents have been forcing down the
English-held stock among the smaller buyers who watch the
turn of shares. Any immediate operations, such as western
bears, would increase their willingness to unload. This,
however, cannot be expected till they see clearly that foreign
iron-masters are willing to co-operate. Mulcahy should
be dispatched to feel the pulse of the market, and act accord
ingly. Mavericks are at present the best for our purpose.

-P.D.Q:

As a message referring to an iron crisis in Penn
sylvania, it was interesting, if not lucid. As a new
departure in organised attack on an outlying English
dependency, it was more than interesting.

The second man read it through and murmured —

' Already ? Surely they are in too great a hurry. All
that Dhulip Singh could do in India he has done, down
to the distribution of his photographs among the peasantry.
Ho ! Ho ! The Paris firm arranged that, and he has no
substantial money backing from the Other Power. Even
our agents in India know he hasn't. What is the use
of our organisation wasting men on work that is already
done ? Of course the Irish regiments in India are half
mutinous as they stand/

This shows how near a lie may come to the truth.
An Irish regiment, for just so long as it stands still, is
generally a hard handful to control, being reckless and
rough. When, however, it is moved in the direction of
musketry-firing, it becomes strangely and unpatriotically
content with its lot. It has even been heard to cheer
the Queen with enthusiasm on these occasions.

But the notion of tampering with the army was, from

188 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the point of view of Tehama Street, an altogether sound
one. There is no shadow of stability in the policy of
an English Government, and the most sacred oaths of
England would, even if engrossed on vellum, find very few
buyers among colonies and dependencies that have suffered
from vain beliefs. But there remains to England always
her army. That cannot change except in the matter of
uniform and equipment. The officers may write to the
papers demanding the heads of the Horse Guards in
default of cleaner redress for grievances ; the men may
break loose across a country town and seriously startle
the publicans; but neither officers no: men have it in
their composition to mutiny after the continental manner.
The English people, when they trouble to think about
the army at all, are, and with justice, absolutely assured
that it is absolutely trustworthy. Imagine for a moment
their emotions on realising that such and such a regiment
was in open revolt from causes directly due to England's
management of Ireland. They would probably send the
regiment to the polls forthwith and examine their own
consciences as to their duty to Erin ; but they would
never be easy any more. And it was this vague, un
happy mistrust that the I.A.A. were labouring to produce.

' Sheer waste of breath,' said the second man after
a pause in the council, ' I don't see the use of tampering
with their fool-army, but it has been tried before and
we must try it again. It looks well in the reports.
If we send one man from here you may bet your life
that other men are going too. Order up Mulcahy.'

They ordered him up — a slim, slight, dark-haired
young man, devoured with that blind rancorous hatred
of England that only reaches its full growth across the
Atlantic. He had sucked it from his mother's breast in
the little cabin at the back of the northern avenues of

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 189

New York; he had been taught his rights and his
wrongs, in German and Irish, on the canal fronts of
Chicago; and San Francisco held men who told him
strange and awful things of the great blind power over
the seas. Once, when business took him across the
Atlantic, he had served in an English regiment, and being
insubordinate had suffered extremely. He drew all his
ideas of England that were not bred by the cheaper
patriotic prints from one iron-fisted colonel and an un
bending adjutant. He would go to the mines if need be
to teach his gospel. And he went as his instructions
advised p.d.q. — which means ' with speed ' — to introduce
embarrassment into an Irish regiment, 'already half-
mutinous, quartered among Sikh peasantry, all wearing
miniatures of His Highness Dhulip Singh, Maharaja of
the Punjab, next their hearts, and all eagerly expecting
his arrival.' Other information equally valuable was
given him by his masters. He was to be cautious, but
never to grudge expense in winning the hearts of the men
in the regiment. His mother in New York would supply
funds, and he was to write to her once a month. Life
is pleasant for a man who has a mother in New York
to send him two hundred pounds a year over and above
his regimental pay.

In process of time, thanks to his intimate knowledge
of drill and musketry exercise, the excellent Mulcahy,
wearing the corporal's stripe, went out in a troopship and
joined Her Majesty's Eoyal Loyal Musketeers, commonly
known as the ' Mavericks,' because they were masterless
and unbranded cattle — sons of small farmers in County
Clare, shoeless vagabonds of Kerry, herders of Bally vegan,
much wanted ' moonlighters ' from the bare rainy head
lands of the south coast, officered by O'Mores, Bradys,
Hills, Kilreas, and the like. Never to outward seeming

190 LIFE'S HANDICAP.

was there more promising material to work on. The First
Three had chosen their regiment well. It feared nothing
that moved or talked save the colonel and the regimental
Roman Catholic chaplain, the fat Father Dennis, who
held the keys of heaven and hell, and blared like an
angry bull when he desired to be convincing. Him
also it loved because on occasions of stress he was
used to tuck up his cassock and charge with the rest
into the merriest of the fray, where he always found,
good man, that the saints sent him a revolver when
there was a fallen private to be protected, or — but
this came as an afterthought — his own gray head to be
guarded.

Cautiously as he had been instructed, tenderly and
with much beer, Mulcahy opened his projects to such as
he deemed fittest to listen. And these were, one and
all, of that quaint, crooked, sweet, profoundly irresponsible
and profoundly lovable race that fight like fiends, argue
like children, reason like women, obey like men, and jest
like their own goblins of the rath through rebellion,
loyalty, want, woe, or war. The underground work of a
conspiracy is always dull and very much the same the
world over. At the end of six months — the seed always
falling on good ground — Mulcahy spoke almost explicitly,
hinting darkly in the approved fashion at dread powers
behind him, and advising nothing more nor less than
mutiny. Were they not dogs, evilly treated ? had they
not all their own and their national revenges to satisfy ?
Who in these days would do aught to nine hundred men in
rebellion ? Who, again, could stay them if they broke for
the sea, licking up on their way other regiments only too
anxious to join ? And afterwards ... here followed
windy promises of gold and preferment, office, and honour,
ever dear to a certain type of Irishman.

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 191

As he finished his speech, in the dusk of a twilight, to
his chosen associates, there was a sound of a rapidly
unslung belt behind him. The arm of one Dan Grady
flew out in the gloom and arrested something. Then
said Dan —

1 Mulcahy, you're a great man, an' you do credit to
whoever sent you. Walk about a bit while we think of
it.' Mulcahy departed elate. He knew his words would
sink deep.

' Why the triple-dashed asterisks did ye not let me
belt him ? ' grunted a voice.

' Because I'm not a fat-headed fool. Boys, 'tis what
he's been driving at these six months — our superior corpril
with his education and his copies of the Irish papers and
his everlasting beer. He's been sent for the purpose and
that's where the money comes from. Can ye not see ?
That man's a gold-mine, which Horse Egan here would
have destroyed with a belt-buckle. It would be throwing
away the gifts of Providence not to fall in with his little
plans. Of coorse we'll mut'ny till all's dry. Shoot the
colonel on the parade-ground, massacree the company
officers, ransack the arsenal, and then — Boys, did he tell
you what next ? He told me the other night when he
was beginning to talk wild. Then we're to join with the
niggers, and look for help from Dhulip Singh and the
Russians ! '

' And spoil the best campaign that ever was this side
of Hell ! Danny, I'd have lost the beer to ha' given him
the belting he requires.'

' Oh, let him go this awhile, man ! He's got no — no
constructiveness, but that's the egg-meat of his plan, and
you must understand that I'm in with it, an' so are you.
We'll want oceans of beer to convince us — firmaments
full. We'll give him talk for his money, and one by one

192 LIFE'S HANDICAP

all the boys 11 come in and he'll have a nest of nine
hundred mutineers to squat in an' give drink to.'

'What makes me killing-mad is his wanting us to do
what the niggers did thirty years gone. That an' his pig's
cheek in saying that other regiments would come along,'
said a Kerry man.

' That's not so bad as hintin' we should loose off on the
colonel.'

' Colonel be sugared ! I'd as soon as not put a shot
through his helmet to see him jump and clutch his old
horse's head. But Mulcahy talks o' shootin' our comp'ny
orf'cers accidental.'

' He said that, did he ? ' said Horse Egan.

'Somethin' like that, anyways. Can't ye fancy ould
Barber Brady wid a bullet in his lungs, coughin' like a
sick monkey, an' sayin,' " Bhoys, I do not mind your
gettin' dhrunk, but you must hould your liquor like men.
The man that shot me is dhrunk. I'll suspend in
vestigations for six hours, while I get this bullet cut out,
an' then-

'An' then,' continued Horse Egan, for the peppery
Major's peculiarities of speech and manner were as well
known as his tanned face ; c " an' then, ye dissolute, half-
baked, putty-faced scum o' Connemara, if I find a man so
much as lookin' confused, begad, I'll coort-martial the
whole company. A man that can't get over his liquor
in six hours is not fit to belong to the Mavericks ! "

A shout of laughter bore witness to the truth of the
sketch.

' It's pretty to think of,' said the Kerry man slowly.
' Mulcahy would have us do all the devilmint, and get
clear himself, someways. He wudn't be takin' all this
fool's throuble in shpoilin' the reputation of the regi
ment '

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 193

' Keputation of your grandmother's pig ! ' said Dan.

' Well, an' he had a good reputation tu ; so it's all right.
Mulcahy must see his way to clear out behind him, or
he'd not ha' come so far, talkin' powers of darkness.'

' Did you hear anything of a regimental court-martial
among the Black Boneens, these days ? Half a company
of 'em took one of the new draft an' hanged him by his
arms with a tent-rope from a third story verandah.
They gave no reason for so doin', but he was half dead.
I'm thinking that the Boneens are short-sighted. It was
a friend of Mulcahy's, or a man in the same trade.
They'd a deal better ha' taken his beer,' returned Dan
reflectively.

c Better still ha' handed him up to the colonel/ said
Horse Egan, ' onless — but sure the news wud be all over
the counthry an' give the reg'ment a bad name.'

' An' there'd be no reward for that man — he but went
about talkin',' said the Kerry man artlessly.

' You speak by your breed/ said Dan with a laugh.
' There was never a Kerry man yet that wudn't sell his
brother for a pipe o' tobacco an' a pat on the back from
a p'liceman.'

' Praise God I'm not a bloomin' Orangeman/ was the
answer.

' No, nor never will be/ said Dan. ' They breed men
in Ulster. Would you like to thry the taste of one ? '

The Kerry man looked and longed, but forebore. The
odds of battle were too great.

' Then you'll not even give Mulcahy a — a strike for his
money/ said the voice of Horse Egan, who regarded what
he called ' trouble ' of any kind as the pinnacle of felicity.

Dan answered not at all, but crept on tip-toe, with
large strides, to the mess-room, the men following. The
room was empty. In a corner, cased like the King of

o

194 LIFE'S HANDICAP

Dahomey's state umbrella, stood the regimental Colours.
Dan lifted them tenderly and unrolled in the light of the
candles the record of the Mavericks — tattered, worn, and
hacked. The white satin was darkened everywhere with
big brown stains, the gold threads on the crowned harp
were frayed and discc loured, and the Eed Bull, the totem
of the Mavericks, was coffee-hued. The stiff, embroidered
folds, whose price is human life, rustled down slowly.
The Mavericks keep their colours long and guard them
very sacredly.

' Vittoria, Salamanca, Toulouse, Waterloo, Moodkee,
Ferozshah, an' Sobraon — that was fought close next door
here, against the very beggars he wants us to join.
Inkermann, The Alma, Sebastopol ! What are those little
businesses compared to the campaigns of General Mulcahy ?
The Mut'ny, think o' that; the Mut'ny an' some dirty
little matters in Afghanistan ; an' for that an' these an'
those ' — Dan pointed to the names of glorious battles —
* that Yankee man with the partin' in his hair comes an'
says as easy as " have a drink." . . . Holy Moses, there's
the captain ! '

But it was the mess-sergeant who came in just as the
men clattered out, and found the colours uncased.

From that day dated the mutiny of the Mavericks, to
the joy of Mulcahy and the pride of his mother in New
York — the good lady who sent the money for the beer.
Never, so far as words went, was such a mutiny. The
conspirators, led by Dan Grady and Horse Egan, poured
in daily. They were sound men, men to be trusted and
they all wanted blood ; but first they must have beer.
They cursed the Queen, they mourned over Ireland, they
suggested hideous plunder of the Indian country side and
then, alas — some of the younger men would go forth and
wallow on the ground in spasms of wicked laughter.

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 195

The genius of the Irish for conspiracies is remarkable.
None the less they would swear no oaths but those of
their own making, which were rare and curious, and they
were always at pains to impress Mulcahy with the risks
they ran. Naturally the flood of beer wrought demoral
isation. But Mulcahy confused the causes of things, and
when a very muzzy Maverick smote a sergeant on the nose
or called his commanding officer a bald-headed old lard-
bladder and even worse names, he fancied that rebellion
and not liquor was at the bottom of the outbreak. Other
gentlemen who have concerned themselves in larger con
spiracies have made the same error.

The hot season, in which they protested no man could
rebel, came to an end, and Mulcahy suggested a visible
return for his teachings. As to the actual upshot of the
mutiny he cared nothing. It would be enough if the
English, infatuatedly trusting to the integrity of their
army, should be startled with news of an Irish regiment
revolting from political considerations. His persistent
demands would have ended, at Dan's instigation, in a
regimental belting which in all probability would have
killed him and cut off the supply of beer, had not he been
sent on special duty some fifty miles away from the can
tonment to cool his heels in a mud fort and dismount
obsolete artillery. Then the colonel of the Mavericks,
reading his newspaper diligently, and scenting Frontier
trouble from afar, posted to the army headquarters and
pled with the Commander-in-chief for certain privileges,
to be granted under certain contingencies ; which con
tingencies came about only a week later, when the annual
little war on the border developed itself and the colonel
returned to carry the good news to the Mavericks. He
held the promise of the Chief for active service, and the
men must get ready.

196 LIFE'S HANDICAP

On the evening of the same day, Mulcahy, an uncon-
sidered corporal — yet great in conspiracy — returned to
cantonments, and heard sounds of strife and howlings
from afar off. The mutiny had broken out and the
barracks of the Mavericks were one white - washed
pandemonium. A private tearing through the barrack-
square gasped in his ear, ' Service ! Active service. It's
a burnin' shame.' Oh joy, the Mavericks had risen on
the eve of battle ! They would not — noble and loyal
sons of Ireland — serve the Queen longer. The news
would flash through the country side and over to England,
and he — Mulcahy — the trusted of the Third Three, had
brought about the crash. The private stood in the middle
of the square and cursed colonel, regiment, officers, and
doctor, particularly the doctor, by his gods. An orderly
of the native cavalry regiment clattered through the mob
of soldiers. He was half lifted, half dragged from his
horse, beaten on the back with mighty hand-claps till
his eyes watered, and called all manner of endearing
names. Yes, the Mavericks had fraternised with the
native troops. Who then was the agent among the latter
that had blindly wrought with Mulcahy so well ?

An officer slunk, almost ran, from the mess to a bar
rack. He was mobbed by the infuriated soldiery, who
closed round but did not kill him, for he fought his way
to shelter, flying for the life. Mulcahy could have wept
with pure joy and thankfulness. The very prisoners in
the guard-room were shaking the bars of their cells and
howling like wild beasts, and from every barrack poured
the booming as of a big war-drum.

Mulcahy hastened to his own barrack. He could
hardly hear himself speak. Eighty men were pounding
with fist and heel the tables and trestles — eighty men,
flushed with mutiny, stripped to their shirt sleeves, their

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 197

knapsacks half-packed for the march to the sea, made the
two-inch boards thunder again as they chanted to a tune
that Mulcahy knew well, the Sacred War Song of the
Mavericks —

Listen in the north, my boys, there's trouble on the wind ;
Tramp o' Cossack hooves in front, gray great-coats behind,
Trouble on the Frontier of a most amazin' kind,
Trouble on the waters o' the Oxus !

Then, as a table broke under the furious accompaniment —

Hurrah ! hurrah ! it's north by west we go ;
Hurrah ! hurrah ! the chance we wanted so ;
Let 'em hear the chorus from Umballa to Moscow,
As we go marchin' to the Kremling.

' Mother of all the saints in bliss and all the devils
in cinders, where's my fine new sock widout the heel ? '
howled Horse Egan, ransacking everybody's valise but
his own. He was engaged in making up deficiencies
of kit preparatory to a campaign, and in that work he
steals best who steals last. ' Ah, Mulcahy, you're in good
time/ he shouted. 'We've got the route, and we're off
on Thursday for a pic-nic wid the Lancers next door.'

An ambulance orderly appeared with a huge basket
full of lint rolls, provided by the forethought of the
Queen for such as might need them later on. Horse
Egan unrolled his bandage, and flicked it under Mulcahy's
nose, chanting—

' Sheepskin an' bees' wax, thunder, pitch, and plaster,
The more you try to pull it off, the more it sticks the faster.
As I was goin' to New Orleans —

'You know the rest of it, my Irish American -Jew
boy. By gad, ye have to fight for the Queen in the inside
av a fortnight, my darlinV

A roar of laughter interrupted. Mulcahy looked

198 LIFE'S HANDICAP

vacantly down the room. Bid a boy defy his father when
the pantomime-cab is at the door ; or a girl develop a
will of her own when her mother is putting the last
touches to the first ball-dress ; but do not ask an Irish
regiment to embark upon mutiny on the eve of a
campaign ; when it has fraternised with the native
regiment that accompanies it, and driven its officers into
retirement with ten thousand clamorous questions, and
the prisoners dance for joy, and the sick men stand in
the open, calling down all known diseases on the head of
the doctor, who has certified that they are " medically
unfit for active service." At even the Mavericks might
have been mistaken for mutineers by one so unversed
in their natures as Mulcahy. At dawn a girls' school
might have learned deportment from them. They knew
that their colonel's hand had closed, and that he who broke
that iron discipline would not go to the front : nothing
in the world will persuade one of our soldiers when he is
ordered to the north on the smallest of affairs, that he is
not immediately going gloriously to slay Cossacks and
cook his kettles in the palace of the Czar. A few of the
younger men mourned for Mulcahy's beer, because the
campaign was to be conducted on strict temperance
principles, but as Dan and Horse Egan said sternly,
' We've got the beer-man with us. He shall drink now
on his own hook.'

Mulcahy had not taken into account the possibility of
being sent on active service. He had made up his mind
that he would not go under any circumstances, but fortune
was against him.

' Sick — you ? ' said the doctor, who had served an

unholy apprenticeship to his trade in Tralee poorhouses.

' You're only home-sick, and what you call varicose veins

come from over-eating. A little gentle exercise will cure

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 199

that.' And later, 'Mulcahy, my man, everybody is
allowed to apply for a sick-certificate once. If he tries it
twice we call him by an ugly name. Go back to your
duty, and let's hear no more of your diseases.'

I am ashamed to say that Horse Egan enjoyed the
study of Mulcahy's soul in those days, and Dan took an
equal interest. Together they would communicate to their
corporal all the dark lore of death which is the portion of
those who have seen men die. Egan had the larger ex
perience, but Dan the finer imagination. Mulcahy
shivered when the former spoke of the knife as an
intimate acquaintance, or the latter dwelt with loving
particularity on the fate of those who, wounded and help
less, had been overlooked by the ambulances, and had
fallen into the hands of the Afghan women-folk.

Mulcahy knew that the mutiny, for the present at
least, was dead, knew, too, that a change had come
over Dan's usually respectful attitude towards him, and
Horse Egan's laughter and frequent allusions to abortive
conspiracies emphasised all that the conspirator had
guessed. The horrible fascination of the death -stories,
however, made him seek the men's society. He learnt much
more than he had bargained for ; and in this manner.
It was on the last night before the regiment entrained
to the front. The barracks were stripped of everything
movable, and the men were too excited to sleep. The.
bare walls gave out a heavy hospital smell of chloride
of lime.

' And what,' said Mulcahy in an awe-stricken whisper,
after some conversation on the eternal subject, ' are
you going to do to me, Dan ? ' This might have been the
language of an able conspirator conciliating a weak spirit.

'You'll see,' said Dan grimly, turning over in his
cot, ' or I rather shud say you'll not see.'

200 LIFE'S HANDICAP

This was hardly the language of a weak spirit.
Mulcahy shook under the bed-clothes.

' Be easy with him,' put in Egan from the next cot.
' He has got his chanst o' goin' clean. Listen Mulcahy,
all we want is for the good sake of the regiment that
you take your death standing up, as a man shud.
There's be heaps an' heaps of enemy — plenshus heaps.
Go there an' do all you can and die decent. You'll die
with a good name there. 'Tis not a hard thing con-
siderin'.'

Again Mulcahy shivered.

' An' how could a man wish to die better than fightin','
added Dan consolingly.

' And if I won't/ said the corporal in a dry whisper.

' There'll be a dale of smoke,' returned Dan, sitting
up and ticking off the situation on his lingers, ' sure to be,
an' the noise of the firin' 11 be tremenjus, an' we'll be
running about up and down, the regiment will. But we,
Horse and I — we'll stay by you, Mulcahy, and never let
you go. Maybe there'll be an accident/

' It's playing it low on me. Let me go. For pity's
sake let me go. I never did you harm, and — and I
stood you as much beer as I could. Oh, don't be hard
on me, Dan ! You are — you were in it too. You won't
kill me up there, will you ? '

1 I'm not thinkin' of the treason ; though you shud
be glad any honest boys drank with you. It's for the
regiment. We can't have the shame o' you bringin'
shame on us. You went to the doctor quiet as a sick
cat to get and stay behind an' live with the women at
the depot — you that wanted us to run to the sea in
wolf -packs like the rebels none of your black blood
dared to be ! But we knew about your goin' to the
doctor, for he told in mess, and it's all over the regiment.

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 201

Bern', as we are, your best friends, we didn't allow any
one to molest you yet. We will see to you ourselves.
Fight which you will — us or the enemy — you'll never
lie in that cot again, and there's more glory and maybe
less kicks from fightin' the enemy. That's fair speakinV

' And he told us by word of mouth to go and join
with the niggers — you've forgotten that, Dan/ said Horse
Egan, to justify sentence.

' What's the use of plaguin' the man. One shot pays
for all. Sleep ye sound, Mulcahy. But you onderstand,
do ye not ? '

Mulcahy for some weeks understood very little of
anything at all save that ever at his elbow, in camp,
or at parade, stood two big men with soft voices ad
juring him to commit hari-kari lest a worse thing
should happen — to die for the honour of the regiment
in decency among the nearest knives. But Mulcahy
dreaded death. He remembered certain things that
priests had said in his infancy, and his mother — not the
one at New York — starting from her sleep with shrieks
to pray for a husband's soul in torment. It is well to be
of a cultured intelligence, but in time of trouble the
weak human mind returns to the creed it sucked in at
the breast, and if that creed be not a pretty one trouble
follows. Also, the death he would have to face would
be physically painful. Most conspirators have large
imaginations. Mulcahy could see himself, as he lay on
the earth in the night, dying by various causes. They
were all horrible ; the mother in New York was very far
away, and the Eegiment, the engine that, once you fall in
its grip, moves you forward whether you will or won't,
was daily coming closer to the enemy !

They were brought to the field of Marzun-Katai, and

202 LIFE'S HANDICAP

with the Black Boneens to aid, they fought a fight that
has never been set down in the newspapers. In response,
many believe, to the fervent prayers of Father Dennis,
the enemy not only elected to fight in the open, but made
a beautiful fight, as many weeping Irish mothers knew
later. They gathered behind walls or flickered across
the open in shouting masses, and were pot-valiant
in artillery. It was expedient to hold a large reserve
and wait for the psychological moment that was being
prepared by the shrieking shrapnel. Therefore the
Mavericks lay down in open order on the brow of a lull
to watch the play till their call should come. Father
Dennis, whose duty was in the rear, to smooth the
trouble of the wounded, had naturally managed to make
his way to the foremost of his boys and lay like a black
porpoise, at length on the grass. To him crawled Mul-
cahy, ashen-gray, demanding absolution.

'Wait till you're shot/ said Father Dennis sweetly.
' There's a time for everything.'

Dan Grady chuckled as he blew for the fiftieth time
into the breech of his speckless rifle. Mulcahy groaned
and buried his head in his arms till a stray shot spoke
like a snipe immediately above his head, and a general
heave and tremour rippled the line. Other shots followed
and a few took effect, as a shriek or a grunt attested.
The officers, who had been lying down with the men, rose
and began to walk steadily up and down the front of their
companies.

This manoeuvre, executed, not for publication, but as a
guarantee of good faith, to soothe men, demands nerve.
You must not hurry, you must not look nervous, though
you know that you are a mark for every rifle within
extreme range, and above all if you are smitten you
must make as little noise as possible and roll inwards

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 203

through the files. It is at this hour, when the breeze

o •

brings the first salt whiff of the powder to noses rather
cold at the tip, and the eye can quietly take in the
appearance of each red casualty, that the strain on the
nerves is strongest. Scotch regiments can endure for half
a day and abate no whit of their zeal at the end ;
English regiments sometimes sulk under punishment, while
the Irish, like the French, are apt to run forward by ones
and twos, which is just as bad as running back. . The
truly wise commandant of highly -strung troops allows
them, in seasons of waiting, to hear the sound of their own
voices uplifted in song. There is a legend of an English
regiment that lay by its arms under fire chaunting ' Sam
Hall,' to the horror of its newly appointed and pious
colonel. The Black Boneens, who were suffering more
than the Mavericks, on a hill half a mile away, began
presently to explain to all who cared to listen — •

We'll sound the jubilee, from the centre to the sea,
And Ireland shall be free, says the Shan-van Vogh.

' Sing, boys,' said Father Dennis softly. ' It looks as
if we cared for their Afghan peas.'

Dan Grady raised himself to his knees and opened his
mouth in a song imparted to him, as to most of his com
rades, in the strictest confidence by Mulcahy — that
Mulcahy then lying limp and fainting on the grass, the
chill fear of death upon him.

Company after company caught up the words which,
the I.A.A. say, are to herald the general rising of Erin,
and to breathe which, except to those duly appointed to
hear, is death. Wherefore they are printed in this place.

The Saxon in Heaven's just balance is weighed,
His doom like Belshazzar's in death has been cast,

And the hand of the venger shall never be stayed
Till his race, faith, and speech are a dream of the past.

204 LIFE'S HANDICAP

They were heart -filling lines and they ran with a
swirl ; the I.A.A. are better served by their pens than
their petards. Dan clapped Mulcahy merrily on the
back, asking him to sing up. The officers lay down again.
There was no need to walk any more. Their men were
soothing themselves thunderously, thus —

St. Mary in Heaven has written the vow
That the land shall not rest till the heretic blood,

From the babe at the breast to the hand at the plough
Has rolled to the ocean like Shannon in flood !

' I'll speak to you after all's over/ said Father Dennis
authoritatively in Dan's ear. ' What's the use of con
fessing to me when you do this foolishness ? Dan, you've
been playing with fire ! I'll lay you more penance in a
week than '

' Come along to Purgatory with us, Father dear. The
Boneens are on the move ; they'll let us go now ! '

The regiment rose to the blast of the bugle as one
man ; but one man there was who rose more swiftly than
all the others, for half an inch of bayonet was in the
fleshy part of his leg.

' You've got to do it/ said Dan grimly. ' Do it decent,
anyhow ; ' and the roar of the rush drowned his words,
for the rear companies thrust forward the first, still sing
ing as they swung down the slope —

From the child at the breast to the hand at the plough
Shall roll to the ocean like Shannon in flood !

They should have sung it in the face of England, not
of the Afghans, whom it impressed as much as did the
wild Irish yell.

' They came down singing/ said the unofficial report of
the enemy, borne from village to village the next day.

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 205

' They continued to sing, and it was written that our men
could not abide when they came. It is believed that
there was magic in the aforesaid song.'

Dan and Horse Egan kept themselves in the neigh
bourhood of Mulcahy. Twice the man would have bolted
back in the confusion. Twice he was heaved, kicked, and
shouldered back again into the unpaintable inferno of a
hotly contested charge.

At the end, the panic excess of his fear drove him
into madness beyond all human courage. His eyes staring
at nothing, his mouth open and frothing, and breathing as
one in a cold bath, he went forward demented, while Dan
toiled after him. The charge checked at a high mud wall.
It was Mulcahy who scrambled up tooth and nail and
hurled down among the bayonets the amazed Afghan
who barred his way. It was Mulcahy, keeping to the
straight line of the rabid dog, who led a collection of ardent
souls at a newly unmasked battery and flung himself on
the muzzle of a gun as his companions danced among the
gunners. It was Mulcahy who ran wildly on from that
battery into the open plain, where the enemy, were retiring
in sullen groups. His hands were empty, he had lost
helmet and belt, and he was bleeding from a wound in
the neck. Dan and Horse Egan, panting and distressed,
had thrown themselves down on the ground by the
captured guns, when they noticed Mulcahy's charge.

' Mad,' said Horse Egan critically. ' Mad with fear !
He's going straight to his death, an' shouting's no use.'

' Let him go. Watch now ! If we fire we'll hit him
maybe.'

The last of a hurrying crowd of Afghans turned at the
noise of shod feet behind him, and shifted his knife ready
to hand. This, he saw, was no time to take prisoners.
Mulcahy tore on, sobbing ; the straight-held blade went

206 LIFE'S HANDICAP

home through the defenceless breast, and the body pitched
forward almost before a shot from Dan's rifle brought
down the slayer and still further hurried the Afghan
retreat. The two Irishmen went out to bring in their
dead.

' He was given the point and that was an easy death/
said Horse Egan, viewing the corpse. ' But would you
ha' shot him, Danny, if he had lived ? '

' He didn't live, so there's no sayin'. But I doubt I
wud have bekase of the fun he gave us — let alone the
beer. Hike up his legs, Horse, and we'll bring him in.
Perhaps 'tis better this way.'

They bore the poor limp body to the mass of the
regiment, lolling open-mouthed on their rifles ; and there
was a general snigger when one of the younger subalterns
said, ' That was a good man ! '

' Phew,' said Horse Egan, when a burial-party had
taken over the burden. ' I'm powerful dhry, and this
reminds me there'll be no more beer at all.'

' Fwhy not ? ' said Dan, with a twinkle in his eye as
he stretched himself for rest. 'Are we not conspirin' all
,we can, an' while we conspire are we not entitled to free
dhrinks ? Sure his ould mother in New York would not
let her son's comrades perish of drouth — if she can be
reached at the end of a letter/

' You're a janius/ said Horse Egan. ' 0' coorse she
will not. I wish this crool war was over, an' we'd get
back to canteen. Eaith, the Commander-in-chief ought
to be hanged in his own little sword-belt for makin' us
work on wather/

The Mavericks were generally of Horse Egan's opinion.
So they made haste to get their work done as soon as
possible, and their industry was rewarded by unexpected
peace. ' We can fight the sons of Adam/ said the tribes-

THE MUTINY OF THE MAVERICKS 207

men, ' but we cannot fight the sons of Eblis, and this
regiment never stays still in one place. Let us therefore
come in.' They came in and ' this regiment ' withdrew
to conspire under the leadership of Dan Grady.

Excellent as a subordinate Dan failed altogether as a
chief -in -command — possibly because he was too much
swayed by the advice of the only man in the regiment who
could manufacture more than one kind of handwriting. The
same mail that bore to Mulcahy's mother in New York a
letter from the colonel telling her how valiantly her son had
fought for the Queen, and how assuredly he would have
been recommended for the Victoria Cross had he survived,
carried a communication signed, I grieve to say, by that
same colonel and all the officers of the regiment, explaining
their willingness to do ' anything which is contrary to the
regulations and all kinds of revolutions ' if only a little
money could be forwarded to cover incidental expenses.
Daniel Grady, Esquire, would receive funds, vice Mulcahy,
who ' was unwell at this present time of writing.'

Both letters were forwarded from New York to Tehama
Street, San Francisco, with marginal comments as brief
as they were bitter. The Third Three read and looked at
each other. Then the Second Conspirator — he who
believed in 'joining hands with the practical branches ' —
began to laugh, and on recovering his gravity said,
' Gentlemen, I consider this will be a lesson to us. We're
left again. Those cursed Irish have let us down. I knew
they would, but ' — here he laughed afresh — ' I'd give
considerable to know what was at the back of it all.'

His curiosity would have been satisfied had he seen
Dan Grady, discredited regimental conspirator, trying to
explain to his thirsty comrades in India the non-arrival
of funds from New York.

THE MASK OF THE BEAST

Your Gods and my Gods — do you or I know which are the stronger ?

Native Proverb.

EAST of Suez, some hold, the direct control of Providence
ceases ; Man being there handed over to the power of the
Gods and Devils of Asia, and the Church of England
Providence only exercising an occasional and modified
supervision in the case of Englishmen.

This theory accounts for some of the more unnecessary
horrors of life in India : it may be stretched to explain
my story.

My friend Strickland of the Police, who knows as
much of natives of India as is good for any man, can bear
witness to the facts of the case. Dumoise, our doctor,
also saw what Strickland and I saw. The inference which
he drew from the evidence was entirely incorrect. He is
dead now ; he died in a rather curious manner, which
has been elsewhere described.

When Fleete came to India he owned a little money
and some land in the Himalayas, near a place called
Dharmsala. Both properties had been left him by an
uncle, and he came out to finance them. He was a big,
heavy, genial, and inoffensive man. His knowledge of
natives was, of course, limited, and he complained of the
difficulties of -the language.

He rode in from his place in the hills to spend New

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 209

Year in the station, and he stayed with Strickland. On
New Year's Eve there was a big dinner at the club, and
the night was excusably wet. When men foregather
from the uttermost ends of the Empire, they have a right
to be riotous. The Frontier had sent down a contingent
o' Catch'em-Alive-0's who had not seen twenty white faces
for a year, and were used to ride fifteen miles to dinner
at the next Fort at the risk of a Khyberee bullet where
their drinks should lie. They profited by their new
security, for they tried to play pool with a curled-up
hedgehog found in the garden, and one of them carried
the marker round the room in his teeth. Half a dozen
planters had come in from the south and were talking
' horse ' to the Biggest Liar in Asia, who was trying to
cap all their stories at once. Everybody was there, and
there was a general closing up of ranks and taking stock
of our losses in dead or disabled that had fallen during
the past year. It was a very wet night, and I remember
that we sang ' Auld Lang Syne ' with our feet in the Polo
Championship Cup, and our heads among the stars, and
swore that we were all dear friends. Then some of us
went away and annexed Burma, and some tried to open
up the Soudan and were opened up by Fuzzies in that
cruel scrub outside Suakim, and some found stars and
medals, and some were married, which was bad, and some
did other things which were worse, and the others of us
stayed in our chains and strove to make money on
insufficient experiences.

Fleete began the night with sherry and bitters, drank
champagne steadily up to dessert, then raw, rasping Capri
with all the strength of whisky, took Benedictine with his
coffee, four or five whiskies and sodas to improve his pool
strokes, beer and bones at half-past two, winding up with
old brandy. Consequently, when he came out, at half-

P

210 LIFE'S HANDICAP

past three in the morning, into fourteen degrees of frost,
he was very angry with his horse for coughing, and tried
to leapfrog into the saddle. The horse broke away and
went to his stables ; so Strickland and I formed a Guard
of Dishonour to take Fleete home.

Our road lay through the bazaar, close to a little
temple of Hanuman, the Monkey-god, who is a leading
divinity worthy of respect. All gods have good points,
just as have all priests. Personally, I attach much
importance to Hanuman, and am kind to his people — the
great gray apes of the hills. One never knows when one
may want a friend.

There was a light in the temple, and as we passed, we
could hear voices of men chanting hymns. In a native
temple, the priests rise at all hours of the night to do
honour to their god. Before we could stop him, Fleete
dashed up the steps, patted two priests on the back, and
was gravely grinding the ashes of his cigar-butt in to the
forehead of the red, stone image of Hanuman. Strickland
tried to drag him out, but he sat down and said solemnly :

' Shee that ? 'Mark of the B — beasht ! / made it.
Ishn't it fine?'

In half a minute the temple was alive and noisy, and
Strickland, who knew what came of polluting gods, said
that things might occur. He, by virtue of his official
position, long residence in the country, and weakness for
going among the natives, was known to the priests and
he felt unhappy. Fleete sat on the ground and refused
to move. He said that 'good old Hanuman' made a
very soft pillow.

Then, without any warning, a Silver Man came out of
a recess behind the image of the god. He was perfectly
naked in that bitter, bitter cold, and his body shone like
frosted silver, for he was what the Bible calls ' a leper as

THE MAKE OF THE BEAST 211

white as snow.' Also he had no face, because he was a
leper of some years' standing, and his disease was heavy
upon him. We two stooped to haul Fleete up, and the
temple was filling and filling with folk who seemed to
spring from the earth, when the Silver Man ran in under
our arms, making a noise exactly like the mewing of an
otter, caught Fleete round the body and dropped his head
on Fleete's breast before we could wrench him away.
Then he retired to a corner and sat mewing while the
crowd blocked all the doors.

The priests were very angry until the Silver Man
touched Fleete. That nuzzling seemed to sober them.

At the end of a few minutes' silence one of the priests
came to Strickland and said, in perfect English, ' Take
your friend away. He has done with Hanuman but
Hanuman has not done with him.' The crowd gave room
and we carried Fleete into the road.

Strickland was very angry. He said that we might
all three have been knifed, and that Fleete should thank
his stars that he had escaped without injury.

Fleete thanked no one. He said that he wanted to go
to bed. He was gorgeously drunk.

We moved on, Strickland silent and wrathful, until
Fleete was taken with violent shivering fits and sweating.
He said that the smells of the bazaar were overpowering,
and he wondered why slaughter-houses were permitted so
near English residences. ' Can't you smell the blood ? '
said Fleete.

We put him to bed at last, just as the dawn was
breaking, and Strickland invited me to have another
whisky and soda. While we were drinking he talked
of the trouble in the temple, and admitted that it baffled
him completely. Strickland hates being mystified by
natives, because his business in life is to overmatch them

212 LIFE'S HANDICAP

with their own weapons. He has not yet succeeded in
doing this, but in fifteen or twenty years he will have
made some small progress.

' They should have mauled us/ he said, ' instead of
mewing at us. I wonder what they meant. I don't like
it one little bit/

I said that the Managing Committee of the temple
would in all probability bring a criminal action against
us for insulting their religion. There was a section of
the Indian Penal Code which exactly met Fleete's offenee.
Strickland said he only hoped and prayed that they would
do this. Before I left I looked into Fleete's room, and
saw him lying on his right side, scratching his left breast.
Then I went to bed cold, depressed, and unhappy, at seven
o'clock in the morning.

At one o'clock I rode over to Strickland's house to
inquire after Fleete's head. I imagined that it would
be a sore one. Fleete was breakfasting and seemed unwell.
His temper was gone, for he was abusing the cook for
not supplying him with an underdone chop. A man who
can eat raw meat after a wet night is a curiosity. I told
Fleete this and he laughed.

' You breed queer mosquitoes in these parts/ he said.
' I've been bitten to pieces, but only in one place/

' Let's have a look at the bite/ said Strickland. ' It
may have gone down since this morning.'

While the chops were being cooked, Fleete opened
his shirt and showed us, just over his left breast, a
mark, the perfect double of the black rosettes — the five
or six irregular blotches arranged in a circle — on a
leopard's hide. Strickland looked and said, ' It was only
pink this morning. It's grown black now.'

Fleete ran to a glass.

' By Jove ! ' he said, ' this is nasty. What is it ? '

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 213

We could not answer. Here the chops came in, all
red and juicy, and Fleete bolted three in a most offensive
manner. He ate on his right grinders only, and threw
his head over his right shoulder as he snapped the meat.
When he had finished, it struck him that he had been
behaving strangely, for he said apologetically, ' I don't
think I ever felt so hungry in my life. I've bolted like
an ostrich/

After breakfast Strickland said to me, 'Don't go.
Stay here, and stay for the night.'

Seeing that my house was not three miles from Strick
land's, this request was absurd. But Strickland insisted,
and was going to say something when Fleete interrupted
by declaring in a shamefaced way that he felt hungry
again. Strickland sent a man to my house to fetch over
my bedding and a horse, and we three went down to
Strickland's stables to pass the hours until it was time
to go out for a ride. The man who has a weakness for
horses never wearies of inspecting them ; and when two
men are killing time in this way they gather knowledge
and lies the one from the other.

There were five horses in the stables, and I shall never
forget the scene as we tried to look them over. They
seemed to have gone mad. They reared and screamed
and nearly tore up their pickets ; they sweated and
shivered and lathered and were distraught with fear.
Strickland's horses used to know him as well as his dogs ;
which made the matter more curious. We left the stable
for fear of the brutes throwing themselves in their panic.
Then Strickland turned back and called me. The horses
were still frightened, but they let us ' gentle ' and make
much of them, and put their heads in our bosoms.

' They aren't afraid of us' said Strickland. ' D' you
know, I'd give three months' pay if Outrage here could talk/

214 LIFE'S HANDICAP

But Outrage was dumb, and could only cuddle up to
his master and blow out his nostrils, as is the custom of
horses when they wish to explain things but can't. Fleete
came up when we were in the stalls, and as soon as the
horses saw him, their fright broke out afresh. It was
all that we could do to escape from the place unkicked.
Strickland said, ' They don't seem to love you, Fleete.'

' Nonsense,' said Fleete ; ' my mare will follow me
like a dog.' He went to her ; she was in a loose-box ;
but as he slipped the bars she plunged, knocked him
down, and broke away into the garden. I laughed, but
Strickland was not amused. He took his moustache in
both fists and pulled at it till it nearly came out. Fleete,
instead of going off to chase his property, yawned, saying
that he felt sleepy. He went to the house to lie down,
which was a foolish way of spending New Year's Day.

Strickland sat with me in the stables and asked if I
had noticed anything peculiar in Fleete's manner. I said
that he ate his food like a beast ; but that this might
have been the result of living alone in the hills out of
the reach of society as refined and elevating as ours for
instance. Strickland was not amused. I do not think
that he listened to me, for his next sentence referred to
the mark on Fleete's breast, and I said that it might
have been caused by blister-flies, or that it was possibly a
birth-mark newly born and now visible for the first time.
We both agreed that it was unpleasant to look at, and
Strickland found occasion to say that I was a fool.

' I can't tell you what I think now,' said he, ' because
you would call me a madman ; but you must stay with
me for the next few days, if you can. I Want you to
watch Fleete, but don't tell me what you think till I have
made up my mind.'

' But I am dining out to-night,' I said.

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 216

' So am I/ said Strickland, ' and so is Fleete. At
least if he doesn't change his mind/

We walked' about the garden smoking, but saying
nothing — because we were friends, and talking spoils
good tobacco — till our pipes were out. Then we went
to wake up Fleete. He was wide awake and fidgeting
about his room.

' I say, I want some more chops,' he said. ' Can I
get them ? '

We laughed and said, ' Go and change. The ponies
will be round in a minute/

'All right/ said Fleete. 'I'll go when I get the
chops — underdone ones, mind/

He seemed to be quite in earnest. It was four
o'clock, and we had had breakfast at one ; still, for a long
time, he demanded those underdone chops. Then he
changed into riding clothes and went out into the verandah.
His pony — the mare had not been caught — would not
let him come near. All three horses were unmanageable
— mad with fear — and finally Fleete said that he would
stay at home and get something to eat. Strickland and
I rode out wondering. As we passed the temple of
Hanuman, the Silver Man came out and mewed at us.

' He is not one of the regular priests of the temple/
said Strickland. ' I think I should peculiarly like to lay
my hands on him/

There was no spring in our gallop on the racecourse
that evening. The horses were stale, and moved as
though they had been ridden out.

The fright after breakfast has been too much for
them/ said Strickland.

That was the only remark he made through the re
mainder of the ride. Once or twice I think he swore to
himself; but that did not count.

216 LIFE'S HANDICAP

We came back in the dark at seven o'clock, and saw
that there were no lights in the bungalow. ' Careless
ruffians my servants are!' said Strickland.

My horse reared at something on the carriage drive,
and Fleete stood up under its nose.

' What are you doing, grovelling about the garden ? '
said Strickland.

But both horses bolted and nearly threw us. We
dismounted by the stables and returned to Fleete, who
was on his hands and knees under the orange-bushes.

' What the devil's wrong with you ? ' said Strickland.

' Nothing, nothing in the world,' said Fleete, speaking
very quickly and thickly. ' I've been gardening — botan-
ising you know. The smell of the earth is delightful.
I think I'm going for a walk — a long walk — all night.'

Then I saw that there was something excessively out
of order somewhere, and I said to Strickland, ' I am not
dining out.'

' Bless you ! ' said Strickland. ' Here, Fleete, get up.
You'll catch fever there. Come in to dinner and let's
have the lamps lit. We'll all dine at home.'

Fleete stood up unwillingly, and said, ' No lamps — no
lamps. It's much nicer here. Let's dine outside and
have some more chops — lots of 'em and underdone —
bloody ones with gristle.'

Now a December evening in Northern India is
bitterly cold, and Fleete's suggestion was that of a
maniac.

' Come in,' said Strickland sternly. ' Come in at
once.'

Fleete came, and when the lamps were brought, we.
saw that he was literally plastered with dirt from head
to foot. He must have been rolling in the garden. He
shrank from the light and went to his room. His eyes

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 217

were horrible to look at. There was a green light behind
them, not in them, if you understand, and the man's
lower lip hung down.

Strickland said, ' There is going to be trouble — big
trouble — to-night. Don't you change your riding-things.'

We waited and waited for Fleete's reappearance, and
ordered dinner in the meantime. We could hear him
moving about his own room, but there was no light there.
Presently from the room came the long-drawn howl of a
wolf.

People write and talk lightly of blood running cold
and hair standing up and things of that kind. Both
sensations are too horrible to be trifled with. My heart
stopped as though a knife had been driven through it,
and Strickland turned as white as the tablecloth.

The howl was repeated, and was answered by another
howl far across the fields.

That set the gilded roof on the horror. Strickland
dashed into Fleete's room. I followed, and we saw
Fleete getting out of the window. He made beast-noises
in the back of his throat. He could not answer us when
we shouted at him. He spat.

I don't quite remember what followed, but I think
that Strickland must have stunned him with the long
boot-jack or else I should never have been able to sit on
his chest. Fleete could not speak, he could only snarl,
and his snarls were those of a wolf, not of a man. The
human spirit must have been giving way all day and
have died out with the twilight. We were dealing with
a beast that had once been Fleete.

The affair was beyond any human and rational ex
perience. I tried to say ' Hydrophobia,' but the word
wouldn't come, because I knew that I was lying.

We bound this beast with leather thongs of the

218 LIFE'S HANDICAP

punkah-rope, and tied its thumbs and big toes together,
and gagged it with a shoe-horn, which makes a very
efficient gag if you know how to arrange it. Then we
carried it into the dining-room, and sent a man to
Dumoise, the doctor, telling him to come over at once.
After we had despatched the messenger and were draw
ing breath, Strickland said, ' It's no good. This isn't any
doctor's work.' I, also, knew that he spoke the truth.

The beast's head was free, and it threw it about from
side to side. Any one entering the room would have
believed that we were curing a wolf's pelt. That was
the most loathsome accessory of all.

Strickland sat with his chin in the heel of his fist,
watching the beast as it wriggled on the ground, but say
ing nothing. The shirt had been torn open in the scuffle
and showed the black rosette mark on the left breast. It
stood out like a blister.

In the silence of the watching we heard something
without mewing like a she-otter. We both rose to our
feet, and, I answer for myself, not Strickland, felt sick —
actually and physically sick. We told each other, as did
the men in Pinafore, that it was the cat.

Dumoise arrived, and I never saw a little man so
unprofessional ly shocked. He said that it was a heart
rending case of hydrophobia, and that nothing could
be done. At least any palliative measures would only
prolong the agony. The beast was foaming at the
mouth. Fleete, as we told Dumoise, had been bitten
by dogs once or twice. Any man who keeps half a
dozen terriers must expect a nip now and again.
Dumoise could offer no help. He could only certify
that Fleete was dying of hydrophobia. The beast was
then howling, for it had managed to spit out the
shoe -horn. Dumoise said that he would be ready to

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 219

certify to the cause of death, and that the end was
certain. He was a good little man, and he offered to
remain with us ; but Strickland refused the kindness.
He did not wish to poison Dumoise's New Year. He
would only ask him not to give the real cause of Fleete's
death to the public.

So Dumoise left, deeply agitated ; and as soon as the
noise of the cart-wheels had died away, Strickland told
me, in a whisper, his suspicions. They were so wildly
improbable that he dared not say them out aloud ; and I,
who entertained all Strickland's beliefs, was so ashamed
of owning to them that I pretended to disbelieve.

'Even if the Silver Man had bewitched Fleete for
polluting the image of Hanuman, the punishment could
not have fallen so quickly.'

As I was whispering this the cry outside the house
rose again, and the beast fell into a fresh paroxysm
of struggling till we were afraid that the thongs that
held it would give way.

'Watch!' said Strickland. 'If this happens six
times I shall take the law into my own hands. I order
you to help me.'

He went into his room and came out in a few
minutes with the barrels of an old shot-gun, a piece
of fishing-line, some thick cord, and his heavy wooden
bedstead. I reported that the convulsions had followed
the cry by two seconds in each case, and the beast seemed
perceptibly weaker.

Strickland muttered, ' But he can't take away the life !
He can't take away the life ! '

I said, though I knew that I was arguing against my
self, ' It may be a cat. It must be a cat. If the Silver
Man is responsible, why does he dare to come here ? '

Strickland arranged the wood on the hearth, put the

220 LIFE'S HANDICAP

gun-barrels into the glow of the fire, spread the twine on
the table and broke a walking stick in two. There was
one yard of fishing line, gut, lapped with wire, such as
is used for mahseer- fishing, and he tied the two ends
together in a loop.

Then he said, ' How can we catch him ? He must be
taken alive and unhurt/

I said that we must trust in Providence, and go out
softly with polo-sticks into the shrubbery at the front of
the house. The man or animal that made the cry was
evidently moving round the house as regularly as a
night-watchman. We could wait in the bushes till
he came by and knock him over.

Strickland accepted this suggestion, and we slipped
out from a bath-room window into the front verandah
and then across the carriage drive into the bushes.

In the moonlight we could see the leper coming round
the corner of the house. He was perfectly naked, and
from time to time he mewed and stopped to dance with
his shadow. It was an unattractive sight, and thinking
of poor Fleete, brought to such degradation by so foul a
creature, I put away all my doubts and resolved to help
Strickland from the heated gun-barrels to the loop of
twine — from the loins to the head and back again —
with all tortures that might be needful.

The leper halted in the front porch for a moment and
we jumped out on him with the sticks. He was wonder
fully strong, and we were afraid that he might escape or
be fatally injured before we caught him. We had an
idea that lepers were frail creatures, but this proved
to be incorrect. Strickland knocked his legs from
under him and I put my foot on his neck. He mewed
hideously, and even through my riding-boots I could feel
that his flesh was not the flesh of a clean man.

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 221

He struck at us with his hand and feet-stumps. We
looped the lash of a dog- whip round him, under the arm
pits, and dragged him backwards into the hall and so
into the dining-room where the beast lay. There we
tied him with trunk - straps. He made no attempt to
escape, but mewed.

When we confronted him with the beast the scene
was beyond description. The beast doubled backwards
into a bow as though he had been poisoned with strych
nine, and moaned in the most pitiable fashion. Several
other things happened also, but they cannot be put down
here.

' I think I was right/ said Strickland. ' Now we will
ask him to cure this case.'

But the leper only mewed. Strickland wrapped a
towel round his hand and took -the gun-barrels out of the
fire. I put the half of the broken walking stick through
the loop of fishing-line and buckled the leper comfortably
to Strickland's bedstead. I understood then how men
and women and little children can endure to see a witch
burnt alive ; for the beast was moaning on the floor, and
though the Silver Man had no face, you could see horrible
feelings passing through the slab, that took its place,
exactly as waves of heat play across red-hot iron — gun-
barrels for instance.

Strickland shaded his eyes with his hands for a
moment and we got to work. This part is not to be
printed.

The dawn was beginning to break when the leper
spoke. His mewings had not been satisfactory up to
that point. The beast had fainted from exhaustion and
the house was very still. We unstrapped the leper and
told him to take away the evil spirit. He crawled to the

222 LIFE'S HANDICAP

beast and laid his hand upon the left breast. That was
all. Then he fell face down and whined, drawing in his
breath as he did so.

We watched the face of the beast, and saw the soul of
Fleete coming back into the eyes. Then a sweat broke
out on the forehead and the eyes — they were human eyes
— closed. We waited for an hour but Fleete still slept.
We carried him to his room and bade the leper go, giving
him the bedstead, and the sheet on the bedstead to cover
his nakedness, the gloves and the towels with which we
had touched him, and the whip that had been hooked
round his body. He put the sheet about him and
went out into the early morning without speaking or
mewing.

Strickland wiped his face and sat down. A night-
gong, far away in the city, made seven o'clock.

' Exactly four -and -twenty hours!' said Strickland.
'And I've done enough to ensure my dismissal from the
service, besides permanent quarters in a lunatic asylum.
Do you believe that we are awake ? '

The red-hot gun-barrel had fallen on the floor and
was singeing the carpet. The smell was entirely real.

That morning at eleven we two together went to
wake up Fleete. We looked and saw that the black
leopard-rosette on his chest had disappeared. He was
very drowsy and tired, but as soon as he saw us, he said,
' Oh ! Confound you fellows. Happy New Year to you.
Never mix your liquors. I'm nearly dead.'

' Thanks for your kindness, but you're over time,' said
Strickland. 'To-day is the morning of the second.
You've slept the clock round with a vengeance.'

The door opened, and little Dumoise put his head in.
He had come on foot, and fancied that we were laying
out Fleete.

THE MARK OF THE BEAST 223

' I've brought a nurse,' said Dumoise. * I suppose that
she can come in for . . . what is necessary/

' By all means/ said Fleete cheerily, sitting up in bed.
' Bring on your nurses/

Dumoise was dumb. Strickland led him out and
explained that there must have been a mistake in the
diagnosis. Dumoise remained dumb and left the house
hastily. He considered that his professional reputation
had been injured, and was inclined to make a personal
matter of the recovery. Strickland went out too. When
he came back, he said that he had been to call on the
Temple of Hanuman to offer redress for the pollution of
the god, and had been solemnly assured that no white
man had ever touched the idol and that he was an incar
nation of all the virtues labouring under a delusion.
1 What do you think ? ' said Strickland.

I said, ' " There are more things ..."

But Strickland hates that quotation. He says that I
have worn it threadbare.

One other curious thing happened which frightened
me as much as anything in all the night's work. When
Fleete was dressed he came into the dining-room and
sniffed. He had a quaint trick of moving his nose when
he sniffed. ' Horrid doggy smell, here/ said he. ' You
should really keep those terriers of yours in better order.
Try sulphur, Strick/

But Strickland did not answer. He caught hold of
the back of a chair, and, without warning, went into an
amazing fit of hysterics. It is terrible to see a strong
man overtaken with hysteria. Then it struck me that
we had fought for Fleete's soul with the Silver Man in
that room, and had disgraced ourselves as Englishmen
for ever, and I laughed and gasped and gurgled just as
shamefully as Strickland, while Fleete thought that we

224 LIFE'S HANDICAP

had both gone mad. We never told him what we had
done.

Some years later, when Strickland had married and
was a church-going member of society for his wife's sake,
we reviewed the incident dispassionately, and Strickland
suggested that I should put it before the public.

I cannot myself see that this step is likely to clear
up the mystery ; because, in the first place, no one will
believe a rather unpleasant story, and, in the second, it
is well known to every right-minded man that the gods
of the heathen are stone and brass, and any attempt to
deal with them otherwise is justly condemned.

THE EETUEN OF IMRAY

The doors were wide, the story saith,
Out of the night came the patient wraith,
He might not speak, and he could not stir
A hair of the Baron's minniver —
Speechless and strengthless, a shadow thin,
He roved the castle to seek his kin.
And oh, 'twas a piteous thing to see
The dumb ghost follow his enemy !

The Baron.

IMRAY achieved the impossible. Without warning, for
no conceivable motive, in his youth, at the threshold of
his career he chose to disappear from the world — which
is to say, the little Indian station where he lived.

Upon a day he was alive, well, happy, and in great
evidence among the billiard-tables at his Club. Upon
a morning, he was not, and no manner of search could
make sure where he might be. He had stepped out of
his place ; he had not appeared at his office at the proper
time, and his dogcart was not upon the public roads.
For these reasons, and because he was hampering, in a
microscopical degree, the administration of the Indian
Empire, that Empire paused for one microscopical moment
to make inquiry into the fate of Imray. Ponds were
dragged, wells were plumbed, telegrams were despatched
down the lines of railways and to the nearest seaport
town — twelve hundred miles away ; but Imray was not
at the end of the drag-ropes nor the telegraph wires. He

Q

226 LIFE'S HANDICAP

was gone, and his place knew him no more. Then the
work of the great Indian Empire swept forward, because
it could not be delayed, and Imray from being a man
became a mystery — such a thing as men talk over at
their tables in the Club for a month, and then forget
utterly. His guns, horses, and carts were sold to the
highest bidder. His superior officer wrote an alto
gether absurd letter to his mother, saying that Imray
had unaccountably disappeared, and his bungalow stood
empty.

After three or four months of the scorching hot
weather had gone by, my friend Strickland, of the Police,
saw fit to rent the bungalow from the native landlord.
This was before he was engaged to Miss Youghal — an
affair which has been described in another place — and
while he was pursuing his investigations into native life.
His own life was sufficiently peculiar, and men com
plained of his manners and customs. There was always
food in his house, but there were no regular times for
meals. He ate, standing up and walking about, whatever
he might find at the sideboard, and this is not good for
human beings. His domestic equipment was limited to
six rifles, three shot-guns, five saddles, and a collection
of stiff-jointed mahseer-rods, bigger and stronger than the
largest salmon-rods. These occupied one -half of his
bungalow, and the other half was given up to Strickland
and his dog Tietjens — an enormous Eampur slut who
devoured daily the rations of two men. She spoke to
Strickland in a language of her own ; and whenever, walk
ing abroad, she saw things calculated to destroy the
peace of Her Majesty the Queen-Empress, she returned
to her master and laid information. Strickland would
take steps at once, and the end of his labours was trouble
and fine and imprisonment for other people. The natives

THE EETURN OF IMKAY 227

believed that Tietjens was a familiar spirit, and treated
her with the great reverence that is born of hate and
fear. One room in the bungalow was set apart for her
special use. She owned a bedstead, a blanket, and a
drinking - trough, and if any one came into Strickland's
room at night her custom was to knock down the invader
and give tongue till some one came with a light. Strick
land owed his life to her, when he was on the Frontier,
in search of a local murderer, who came in the gray dawn
to send Strickland much farther than the Andaman
Islands. Tietjens caught the man as he was crawling
into Strickland's tent with a dagger between his teeth ;
and after his record of iniquity was established in the
eyes of the law he was hanged. From that date Tietjens
wore a collar of rough silver, and employed a monogram
on her night -blanket ; and the blanket was of double
woven Kashmir cloth, for she was a delicate dog.

Under no circumstances would she be separated from
Strickland; and once, when he was ill with fever, made
great trouble for the doctors, because she did not know
how to help her master and would not allow another
creature to attempt aid. Macarnaght, of the Indian
Medical Service, beat her over her head with a gun-butt
before she could understand that she must give room for
those who could give quinine.

A short time after Strickland had taken Imray's
bungalow, my business took me through that Station,
and naturally, the Club quarters being full, I quartered
myself upon Strickland. It was a desirable bungalow,
eight -roomed and heavily thatched against any chance
of leakage from rain. Under the pitch of the roof ran a
ceiling-cloth which looked just as neat as a white-washed
ceiling. The landlord had repainted it when Strickland
took the bungalow. Unless you knew how Indian bunga-

228 LIFE'S HANDICAP

lows were built you would never have suspected that
above the cloth lay the dark three-cornered cavern of the
roof, where the beams and the underside of the thatch
harboured all manner of rats, bats, ants, and foul things.

Tietjens met me in the verandah with a bay like the
boom of the bell of St. Paul's, putting her paws on my
shoulder to show she was glad to see me. Strickland
had contrived to claw together a sort of meal which he
called lunch, and immediately after it was finished went
out about his business. I was left alone with Tietjens
and my own affairs. The heat of the summer had broken
up and turned to the warm damp of the rains. There
was no motion in the heated air, but the rain fell like
ramrods on the earth, and flung up a blue mist when it
splashed back. The bamboos, and the custard-apples, the
poinsettias, and the mango-trees in the garden stood still
while the warm water lashed through them, and the frogs
began to sing among the aloe hedges. A little before the
light failed, and when the rain was at its worst, I sat in
the back verandah and heard the water roar from the
eaves, and scratched myself because I was covered with
the thing called prickly -heat. Tietjens came out with
me and put her head in my lap and was very sorrowful ;
so I gave her biscuits when tea was ready, and I took
tea in the back verandah on account of the little coolness
found there. The rooms of the house were dark behind
me. I could smell Strickland's saddlery and the oil on
his guns, and I had no desire to sit among these things.
My own servant came to me in the twilight, the muslin
of his clothes clinging tightly to his~ drenched body, and
told me that a gentleman had called and wished to see
some one. Very much against my will, but only because
of the darkness of the rooms, I went into the naked
drawing-room, telling my man to bring the lights. There

THE RETURN OF IMRAY 229

might or might not have been a caller waiting — it seemed
to me that I saw a figure by one of the windows — but
when the lights came there was nothing save the spikes
of the rain without, and the smell of the drinking earth
in my nostrils. I explained to my servant that he was
no wiser than he ought to be, and went back to the ver
andah to talk to Tietjens. She had gone out into the
wet, and I could hardly coax her back to me ; even with
biscuits with sugar tops. Strickland came home, dripping
wet, just before dinner, and the first thing he said was,

' Has any one called ? '

I explained, with apologies, that my servant had
summoned me into the drawing-room on a false alarm;
or that some loafer had tried to call on Strickland, and
thinking better of it had fled after giving his name.
Strickland ordered dinner, without comment, and since it
was a real dinner with a white tablecloth attached, we
sat down.

At nine o'clock Strickland wanted to go to bed, and
I was tired too. Tietjens, who had been lying under
neath the table, rose up, and swung into the least exposed
verandah as soon as her master moved to his own room,
which was next to the stately chamber set apart for
Tietjens. If a mere wife had wished to sleep out of
doors in that pelting rain it would not have mattered ;
but Tietjens was a dog, and therefore the better animal.
I looked at Strickland, expecting to see him flay her with
a whip. He smiled queerly, as a man would smile after
telling some unpleasant domestic tragedy. ' She has done
this ever since I moved in here,' said he. ' Let her go.'

The dog was Strickland's dog, so I said nothing, but
I felt all that Strickland felt in being thus made light
of. Tietjens encamped outside my bedroom window, and
storm after storm came up, thundered on the thatch,

230 LIFE'S HANDICAP

and died away. The lightning spattered the sky as a
thrown egg spatters a barn-door, but the light was pale
blue, not yellow ; and, looking through my split bamboo
blinds, I could see the great dog standing, not sleeping,
in the verandah, the hackles alift on her back and her feet
anchored as tensely as the drawn wire-rope of a suspension
bridge. In the very short pauses of the thunder I tried
to sleep, but it seemed that some one wanted me very
urgently. He, whoever he was, was trying to call me by
name, but his voice was no more than a husky whisper.
The thunder ceased, and Tietjens went into the garden
and howled at the low moon. Somebody tried to open
my door, walked about and about through the house and
stood breathing heavily in the verandahs, and just when
I was falling asleep I fancied that I heard a wild ham
mering and clamouring above my head or on the door.

I ran into Strickland's room and asked him whether
he was ill, and had been calling for me. He was lying
on his bed half dressed, a pipe in his mouth. ' I thought
you'd come,' he said. ' Have I been walking round the
house recently ? '

I explained that he had been tramping in the dining-
room and the smoking-room and two or three other places ;
and he laughed and told me to go back to bed. I went
back to bed and slept till the morning, but through all
my mixed dreams I was sure I was doing some one an
injustice in not attending to his wants. What those
wants were I could not tell ; but a fluttering, whispering,
bolt-fumbling, lurking, loitering Someone was reproach
ing me for my slackness, and, half awake, I heard the
howling of Tietjens in the garden and the threshing of the
rain.

I lived in that house for two days. Strickland went
to his office daily, leaving me alone for eight or ten hours

THE RETURN OF IMRAY 231

with Tietjens for my only companion. As long as the
full light lasted I was comfortable, and so was Tietjens ;
but in the twilight she and I moved into the back
verandah and cuddled each other for company. We
were alone in the house, but none the less it was much
too fully occupied by a tenant with whom I did not wish
to interfere. I never saw him, but I could see the
curtains between the rooms quivering where he had just
passed through ; I could hear the chairs creaking as the
bamboos sprung under a weight that had just quitted
them ; and I could feel when I went to get a book from
the dining-room that somebody was waiting in the
shadows of the front verandah till I should have gone
away. Tietjens made the twilight more interesting by
glaring into the darkened rooms with every hair erect,
and following the motions of something that I could not
see. She never entered the rooms, but her eyes moved
interestedly : that was quite sufficient. Only when my
servant came to trim the lamps and make all light and
habitable she would come in with me and spend her time
sitting on her haunches, watching an invisible extra man
as he moved about behind my shoulder. Dogs are
cheerful companions.

I explained to Strickland, gently as might be, that I
would go over to the Club and find for myself .quarters
there. I admired his hospitality, was pleased with his
guns and rods, but I did not much care for his house and
its atmosphere. He heard me out to the end, and then
smiled very wearily, but without contempt, for he is a
man who understands things. ' Stay on,' he said, ' and
see what this thing means. All you have talked about
I have known since I took the bungalow. Stay on and
wait. Tietjens has left me. Are you going too ? '

I had seen him through one little affair, connected

232 LIFE'S HANDICAP

with a heathen idol, that had brought me to the doors
of a lunatic asylum, and I had no desire to help him
through further experiences. He was a man to whom
unpleasantnesses arrived as do dinners to ordinary
people.

Therefore I explained more clearly than ever that I
liked him immensely, and would be happy to see him in
the daytime ; but that I did not care to sleep under his
roof. This was after dinner, when Tietjens had gone out
to lie in the verandah.

' Ton my soul, I don't wonder/ said Strickland, with
his eyes on the ceiling-cloth. ' Look at that ! '

The tails of two brown snakes were hanging between
the cloth and the cornice of the wall. They threw long
shadows in the lamplight.

' If you are afraid of snakes of course ' said

Strickland.

I hate and fear snakes, because if you look into the
eyes of any snake you will see that it knows all and
more of the mystery of man's fall, and that it feels all
the contempt that the Devil felt when Adam was evicted
from Eden. Besides which its bite is generally fatal,
and it twists up trouser legs.

' You ought to get your thatch overhauled,' I said.
' Give me a mahseer-rod, and we'll poke 'em down.

'They'll hide among the roof-beams/ said Strickland.
' I can't stand snakes overhead. I'm going up into the
roof. If I shake 'em down, stand by with a cleaning- rod
and break their backs.'

I was not anxious to assist Strickland in his work,
but I took the cleaning-rod and waited in the dining-
room, while Strickland brought a gardener's ladder from
the verandah, and set it against the side of the room.
The snake -tails drew themselves up and disappeared.

THE RETURN OF IMRAY 233

We could hear the dry rushing scuttle of long bodies
running over the baggy ceiling cloth. Strickland took a
lamp with him, while I tried to make clear to him the
danger of hunting roof-snakes between a ceiling-cloth and
a thatch, apart from the deterioration of property caused
by ripping out ceiling-cloths.

' Nonsense ! ' said Strickland. ' They're sure to hide
near the walls by the cloth. The bricks are too cold for
'em, and the heat of the room is just what they like.'
He put his hand to the corner of the stuff and ripped it
from the cornice. It gave with a great sound of tearing,
and Strickland put his head through the opening into the
dark of the angle of the roof-beams. I set my teeth and
lifted the rod, for I had not the least knowledge of what
might descend.

' H'm ! ' said Strickland, and his voice rolled and
rumbled in the roof. ' There's room for another set of
rooms up here, and, by Jove, some one is occupying 'em ! '

' Snakes ? ' I said from below.

' No. It's a buffalo. Hand me up the two last
joints of a mahseer-rod, and I'll prod it. It's lying on
the main roof-beam/

I handed up the rod.

' What a nest for owls and serpents ! No wonder
the snakes live here,' said Strickland, climbing farther
into the roof. I could see his elbow thrusting with the
rod. ' Come out of that, whoever you are ! Heads
below there ! It's falling.'

I saw the ceiling cloth nearly in the centre of the
room bag with a shape that was pressing it downwards
and downwards towards the lighted lamp on the table.
I snatched the lamp out of danger and stood back. Then
the cloth ripped out from the walls, tore, split, swayed,
and shot down upon the table something that I dared

234 LIFE'S HANDICAP

not look at, till Strickland had slid down the ladder and
was standing by my side.

He did not say much, being a man of few words ; but
he picked up the loose end of the tablecloth and threw
it over the remnants on the table.

' It strikes me,' said he, putting down the lamp, ' our
friend Imray has come back. Oh ! you would, would
you ?'

There was a movement under the cloth, and a little
snake wriggled out, to be back-broken by the butt of the
mahseer-rod. I was sufficiently sick to make no remarks
worth recording.

Strickland meditated, and helped himself to drinks.
The arrangement under the cloth made no more signs of
life.

' Is it Imray ? ' I said.

Strickland turned back the cloth for a moment, and
looked.

' It is Imray,' he said ; ' and his throat is cut from ear
to ear/

Then we spoke, both together and to ourselves : ' That's
why he whispered about the house.'

Tietjens, in the garden, began to bay furiously. A
little later her great nose heaved open the dining-room door.

She snuffed and was still. The tattered ceiling-cloth
hung down almost to the level of the table, and there
was hardly room to move away from the discovery.

Tietjens came in and sat down ; her teeth bared under
her lip and her fore-paws planted. She looked at
Strickland.

' It's a bad business, old lady,' said he. ' Men don't
climb up into the roofs of their bungalows to die, and
they don't fasten up the ceiling cloth behind 'em. Let's
think it out.'

THE HETURN OF IMRAY 235

' Let's think it out somewhere else/ I said.

' Excellent idea ! Turn the lamps out. We'll get
into my room.'

I did not turn the lamps out. I went into Strickland's
room first, and allowed him to make the darkness. Then
he followed me, and we lit tobacco and thought. Strick
land thought. 1 smoked furiously, because I was afraid.

* Imray is back/ said Strickland. ' The question is—
who killed Imray ? Don't talk, I've a notion of my own.
When I took this bungalow I took over most of Imray's
servants. Imray was guileless and inoffensive, wasn't he ?'

I agreed ; though the heap under the cloth had looked
neither one thing nor the other.

' If I call in all the servants they will stand fast in a
crowd and lie like Aryans. What do you suggest ? '

' Call 'em in one by one/ I said.

'They'll run away and give the news to all their
fellows/ said Strickland. 'We must segregate 'em. Do
you suppose your servant knows anything about it ? '

' He may, for aught I know ; but I don't think it's
likely. He has only been here two or three days/ 1
answered. ' What's your notion ? '

' I can't quite tell. How the dickens did the man get
the wrong side of the ceiling-cloth ? '

There was a heavy coughing outside Strickland's
bedroom door. This showed that Bahadur Khan, his
body -servant, had waked from sleep and wished to put
Strickland to bed.

' Come in/ said Strickland. ' It's a very warm night,
isn't it?'

Bahadur Khan, a great, green -turbaned, six-foot
Mahomedan, said that it was a very warm night ; but
that there was more rain pending, which, by his Honour's
favour, would bring relief to the country.

236 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' It will be so, if God pleases/ said Strickland, tugging
off his boots. ' It is in my mind, Bahadur Khan, that I
have worked thee remorselessly for many days — ever
since that time when thou first earnest into my service.
What time was that ? '

'Has the Heaven -born forgotten? It was when
Imray Sahib went secretly to Europe without warning
given ; and I — even I — came into the honoured service
of the protector of the poor/

' And Imray Sahib went to Europe ? '

' It is so said among those who were his servants/

' And thou wilt take service with him when he
returns ? '

* Assuredly, Sahib. He was a good master, and
cherished his dependants.'

' That is true. I am very tired, but I go buck-shooting
to-morrow. Give me the little sharp rifle that I use for
black-buck ; it is in the case yonder/

The man stooped over the case ; handed barrels, stock,
and fore-end to Strickland, who fitted all together, yawn
ing dolefully. Then he reached down to the gun-case,
took a solid -drawn cartridge, and slipped it into the
breech of the '360 Express.

' And Imray Sahib has gone to Europe secretly !
That is very strange, Bahadur Khan, is it not ? '

' What do I know of the ways of the white man,
Heaven-born ? '

' Very little, truly. But thou shalt know more anon.
It has reached me that Imray Sahib has returned from
his so long journey ings, and that even now he lies in the
next room, waiting his servant/

'Sahib!'

The lamplight slid along the barrels of the rifle as
they levelled themselves at Bahadur Khan's broad breast.

THE RETURN OF IMRAY 237

' Go and look ! ' said Strickland. ' Take a lamp. Thy
master is tired, and he waits thee. Go ! '

The man picked up a lamp, and went into the dining-
room, Strickland following, and almost pushing him with
the muzzle of the rifle. He looked for a moment at the
black depths behind the ceiling-cloth ; at the writhing
snake under foot ; and last, a gray glaze settling on his
face, at the thing under the tablecloth.

1 Hast thou seen ? ' said Strickland after a pause.

' I have seen. I am clay in the white man's hands.
What does the Presence do ? '

' Hang thee within the month. What else ? '

' For killing him ? Nay, Sahib, consider. Walking
among us, his servants, he cast his eyes upon my child,
who was four years old. Him he bewitched, and in ten
days he died of the fever — my child ! '

' What said Imray Sahib V

' He said he was a handsome child, and patted him on
the head ; wherefore my child died. Wherefore I killed
Imray Sahib in the twilight, when he had come back from
office, and was sleeping. Wherefore I dragged him up
into the roof-beams and made all fast behind him. The
Heaven-born knows all things. I am the servant of the
Heaven-born.'

Strickland looked at me above the rifle, and said, in
the vernacular, ' Thou art witness to this saying ? He has
killed.'

Bahadur Khan stood ashen gray in the light of the
one lamp. The need for justification came upon him very
swiftly. ' I am trapped,' he said, ' but the offence was
that man's. He cast an evil eye upon my child, and I
killed and hid him. Only such as are served by devils/
he glared at Tietjens, couched stolidly before him, ' only
such could know what I did.'

238 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' It was clever. But thou shouldst have lashed him
to the beam with a rope. Now, thou thyself wilt hang
by a rope. Orderly ! '

A drowsy policeman answered Strickland's call. He
was followed by another, and Tietjens sat wondrous still.

'Take him to the police-station/ said Strickland.
' There is a case toward.'

' Do I hang, then ? ' said Bahadur Khan, making no
attempt to escape, and keeping his eyes on the ground.

' If the sun shines or the water runs — yes ! ' said
Strickland.

Bahadur Khan stepped back one long pace, quivered,
and stood still. The two policemen waited further
orders.

' Go ! ' said Strickland.

' Nay ; but I go very swiftly,' said Bahadur Khan.
' Look ! I am even now a dead man.'

He lifted his foot, and to the little toe there clung the
head of the half-killed snake, firm fixed in the agony of
death.

' I come of land-holding stock,' said Bahadur Khan,
rocking where he stood. 'It were a disgrace to me to
go to the public scaffold : therefore I take this way. Be
it remembered that the Sahib's shirts are correctly enu
merated, and that there is an extra piece of soap in his
washbasin. My child was bewitched, and I slew the
wizard. Why should you seek to slay me with the rope ?
My honour is saved, and — and — I die.'

At the end of an hour he died, as they die who are
bitten by the little brown Jcarait, and the policemen bore
him and the thing under the tablecloth to their appointed
places. All were needed to make clear the disappear
ance of Imray.

' This/ said Strickland, very calmly, as he climbed

THE RETURN OF IMRAY 239

into bed, ' is called the nineteenth century. Did you
hear what that man said ? '

' I heard/ I answered. ' Imray made a mistake.'

' Simply and solely through not knowing the nature
of the Oriental, and the coincidence of a little seasonal
fever. Bahadur Khan had been with him for four years.'

I shuddered. My own servant had been with me for
exactly that length of time. When I went over to my
own room I found niy man waiting, impassive as the
copper head on a penny, to pull off my boots.

' What has befallen Bahadur Khan ? ' said I.

' He was bitten by a snake and died. The rest the
Sahib knows,' was the answer.

1 And how much of this matter hast thou known ? '

' As much as might be gathered from One coming in
in the twilight to seek satisfaction. Gently, Sahib. Let
me pull off those boots/

I had just settled to the sleep of exhaustion when I
heard Strickland shouting from his side of the house —

' Tietjens has come back to her place ! '

And so she had. The great deerhound was couched
statelily on her own bedstead on her own blanket, while,
in the next room, the idle, empty, ceiling-cloth waggled
as it trailed on the table.

NAMGAY DOOLA

There came to the beach a poor exile of Erin,

The dew on his wet robe hung heavy and chill ;

Ere the steamer that brought him had passed out of hearin',

He was Alderman Mike inthrojuicin' a bill !

American Song.

ONCE upon a time there was a King who lived on the
road to Thibet, very many miles in the Himalayas. His
Kingdom was eleven thousand feet above the sea and
exactly four miles square ; but most of the miles stood
on end owing to the nature of the country. His revenues
were rather less than four hundred pounds yearly, and
they were expended in the maintenance of one elephant
and a standing army of five men. He was tributary to
the Indian Government, who allowed him certain sums
for keeping a section of the Himalaya -Thibet road in
repair. He further increased his revenues by selling
timber to the Eailway companies ; for he would cut the
great deodar trees in his one forest, and they fell thunder
ing into the Sutlej river and were swept clown to the
plains three hundred miles away and became railway-ties.
Now and again this King, whose name does not matter,
would mount a ringstraked horse and ride scores of miles
to Simla-town to confer with the Lieutenant-Governor on
matters of state, or to assure the Viceroy that his sword
was at the service of the Queen - Empress. Then the

NAMGAY DOOLA

Viceroy would cause a ruffle of drums to be sounded, and
the ringstraked horse and the cavalry of the State — two
men in tatters — and the herald who bore the silver stick
before the King would trot back to their own place, which
lay between the tail of a heaven-climbing glacier and a
dark birch-forest.

Now, from such a King, always remembering that he
possessed one veritable elephant, and could count his
descent for twelve hundred years, I expected, when it was
my fate to wander through his dominions, no more than
mere license to live.

The night had closed in rain, and rolling clouds
blotted out the lights of the villages in the valley. Forty
miles away, untouched by cloud or storm, the white
shoulder of Donga Pa — the Mountain of the Council of
the Gods — upheld the Evening Star. The monkeys sang
sorrowfully to each other as they hunted for dry roosts
in the fern- wreathed trees, and the last puff of the day-
wind brought from the unseen villages the scent of damp
wood-smoke, hot cakes, dripping undergrowth, and rotting
pine-cones. That is the true smell of the Himalayas,
and if once it creeps into the blood of a man, that man
will at the last, forgetting all else, return to the hills to
die. The clouds closed and the smell went away, and
there remained nothing in all the world except chilling
white mist and the boom of the Sutlej river racing through
the valley below. A fat-tailed sheep, who did not want
to die, VJleated piteously at my tent door. He was
scuffling with the Prime Minister and the Director-
General of Public Education, and he was a royal gift to
me and my camp servants. I expressed my thanks suit
ably, and asked if I might have audience of the King.
The Prime Minister readjusted his turban, which had fallen
off in the struggle, and assured me that the King would

R

242 LIFE'S HANDICAP

be very pleased to see me. Therefore I despatched two
bottles as a foretaste, and when the sheep had entered
upon another incarnation went to the King's Palace
through the wet. He had sent his army to escort me,
but the army stayed to talk with my cook. Soldiers
are very much alike all the world over.

The Palace was a four-roomed, and whitewashed mud
and timber-house, the finest in all the hills for a day's
journey. The King was dressed in a purple velvet jacket,
white muslin trousers, and a saffron -yellow turban of
price. He gave me audience in a little carpeted room
opening off the palace courtyard which was occupied by
the Elephant of State. The great beast was sheeted and
anchored from trunk to tail, and the curve of his back
stood out grandly against the mist.

The Prime Minister and the Director- General of Public
Education were present to introduce me, but all the
court had been dismissed, lest the two bottles aforesaid
should corrupt their morals. The King cast a wreath of
heavy-scented flowers round my neck as I bowed, and
inquired how my honoured presence had the felicity to
be. I said that through seeing his auspicious counte
nance the mists of the night had turned into sunshine,
and that by reason of his beneficent sheep his good
deeds would be remembered by the Gods. He said that
since I had set my magnificent foot in his Kingdom the
crops would probably yield seventy per cent more than
the average. I said that the fame of the King had
reached to the four corners of the earth, and that the
nations gnashed their teeth when they heard daily of
the glories of his realm and the wisdom of his moon-
like Prime Minister and lotus-like Director-General of
Public Education.

Then we sat down on clean white cushions, and I was

NAMGAY DOOLA 243

at the King's right hand. Three minutes later he was
telling me that the state of the maize crop was something
disgraceful, and that the railway -companies would not
pay him enough for his timber. The talk shifted to and
fro with the bottles, and we discussed very many stately
things, and the King became confidential on the subject
of Government generally. Most of all he dwelt on the
shortcomings of one of his subjects, who, from all I could
gather, had been paralyzing the executive.

' In the old days/ said the King, ' I could have ordered
the Elephant yonder to trample him to death. Now I
must e'en send him seventy miles across the hills to be
tried, and his keep would be upon the State. The
Elephant eats everything.'

' What be the man's crimes, Rajah Sahib ? ' said I.

' Firstly, he is an outlander and no man of mine own
people. Secondly, since of my favour I gave him land
upon his first coming, he refuses to pay revenue. Am I
not the lord of the earth, above and below, entitled by
right and custom to one-eighth of the crop ? Yet this
devil, establishing himself, refuses to pay a single tax;
and he brings a poisonous spawn of babes.'

' Cast him into jail,' I said.

* Sahib,' the King answered, shifting a little on the
cushions, ' once and only once in these forty years sick
ness came upon me so that I was not able to go abroad.
In that hour I made a vow to my God that I would never
again cut man or woman from the light of the sun and
the air of God ; for I perceived the nature of the punish
ment. How can I break my vow ? Were it only the
lopping of a hand or a foot I should not delay. But even
that is impossible now that the English have rule. One
or another of my people ' — he looked obliquely at the
Director -General of Public Education — 'would at once

244 LIFE'S HANDICAP

write a letter to the Viceroy, and perhaps I should be
deprived of my ruffle of drums.

He unscrewed the mouthpiece of his silver water-
pipe, fitted a plain amber mouthpiece, and passed his
pipe to me. 'Not content with refusing revenue/ he
continued, ' this outlander refuses also the legar ' (this
was the corvee or forced labour on the roads) ' and stirs
my people up to the like treason. Yet he is, when he
wills, an expert log-snatcher. There is none better or
bolder among my people to clear a block of the river
when the logs stick fast.'

' But he worships strange Gods/ said the Prime Mini
ster deferentially.

' For that I have no concern/ said the King, who was
as tolerant as Akbar in matters of belief. ' To each man
his own God and the fire or Mother Earth for us all at
last. It is the rebellion that offends me.'

* The King has an army/ I suggested. ' Has not the
King burned the man's house and left him naked to the
night dews ? '

' Nay, a hut is a hut, and it holds the life of a man.
But once, I sent my army against him when his excuses
became wearisome : of their heads he brake three across
the top with a stick. The other two men ran away.
Also the guns would not shoot.'

I had seen the equipment of the infantry. One-third
of it was an old muzzle -loading fowling-piece, with a
ragged rust -hole where the nipples should have been,
one- third a wire-bound matchlock with a worm-eaten
stock, and one-third a four-bore flint duck-gun without a
flint.

' But it is to be remembered/ said the King, reaching out
for the bottle, ' that he is a very expert log-snatcher and
a man of a merry face. What shall I do to him, Sahib ? '

NAMGAY DOOLA 245

This was interesting. The timid hill-folk would as
soon have refused taxes to their King as revenues to their
Gods.

' If it be the King's permission/ I said, ' I will not
strike my tents till the third day and I will see this man.
The mercy of the King is God-like, and rebellion is like
unto the sin of witchcraft. Moreover, both the bottles
and another be empty.'

1 You have my leave to go/ said the King.

Next morning a crier went through the state pro
claiming that there was a log-jam on the river and that
it behoved all loyal subjects to remove it. The people
poured down from their villages to the moist warm valley
of poppy -fields; and the King and I went with them.
Hundreds of dressed deodar-logs had caught on a snag of
rock, and the river was bringing down more logs every
minute to complete the blockade. The water snarled
and wrenched and worried at the timber, and the popu
lation of the state began prodding the nearest logs with a
pole in the hope of starting a general movement. Then
there went up a shout of ' Namgay Doola ! Namgay
Doola!' and a large red-haired villager hurried up,
stripping off his clothes as he ran.

' That is he. That is the rebel/ said the King. ' Now
will the dam be cleared.'

' But why has he red hair ? ' I asked, since red hair
among hill-folks is as common as blue or green.

' He is an outlander/ said the King. ' Well done ! Oh
well done ! '

Namgay Doola had scrambled out on the jam -and was
clawing out the butt of a log with a rude sort of boat-
hook. It slid forward slowly as an alligator moves,
three or four others followed it, and the green water
spouted through the gaps they had made. Then the

246 LIFE'S HANDICAP

villagers howled and shouted and scrambled across the
logs, pulling and pushing the obstinate timber, and the
red head of Namgay Doola was chief among them all
The logs swayed and chafed and groaned as fresh con
signments from upstream battered the now weakening
dam. All gave way at last in a smother of foam, racing
logs, bobbing black heads and confusion indescribable.
The river tossed everything before it. I saw the red
head go down with the last remnants of the jam and
disappear between the great grinding tree -trunks. It
rose close to the bank and blowing like a grampus.
Namgay Doola wrung the water out of his eyes and
made obeisance to the King. I had time to observe
him closely. The virulent redness of his shock head
and beard was most startling ; and in the thicket of
hair wrinkled above high cheek bones shone two very
merry blue eyes. He was indeed an outlander, but yet
a Thibetan in language, habit, and attire. He spoke the
Lepcha dialect with an indescribable softening of the
gutturals. It was not so much a lisp as an accent.

' Whence comest thou ? ' I asked.

' From Thibet.' He pointed across the hills and
grinned. That grin went straight to my heart. Mechani
cally I held out my hand and Namgay Doola shook it.
No pure Thibetan would have understood the meaning of
the gesture. He went away to look for his clothes, and
as he climbed back to his village, I heard a joyous yell
that seemed unaccountably familiar. It was the whoop
ing of ISTamgay Doola.

' You see now,' said the King, ' why I would not kill
him. He is a bold man among my logs, but,' and he
shook his head like a schoolmaster, ' I know that before
long there will be complaints of him in the court. Let
us return to the Palace and do justice.' It was that

NAMGAY DOOLA 247

King's custom to judge his subjects every day between
eleven and three o'clock. I saw him decide equitably in
weighty matters of trespass, slander, and a little wife-
stealing. Then his brow clouded and he summoned me.

' Again it is Namgay Doola,' he said despairingly.
' Not content with refusing revenue on his own part, he
has bound half his village by an oath to the like treason.
Never before has such a thing befallen me ! Nor are my
taxes heavy.'

A rabbit-faced villager, with a blush-rose stuck behind
his ear, advanced trembling. He had been in the con
spiracy, but had told everything and hoped for the King's
favour.

1 0 King,' said I. ' If it be the King's will let this
matter stand over till the morning. Only the Gods can
do right swiftly, and it may be that yonder villager has
lied.1

' Nay, for I know the nature of Namgay Doola ; but
since a guest asks let the matter remain. "Wilt thou
speak harshly to this red -headed outlander. He may
listen to thee.'

I made an attempt that very evening, but for the life
of me I could not keep my countenance. Namgay Doola
grinned persuasively, and began to tell me about a big
brown bear in a poppy-field by the river. Would I care
to shoot it ? I spoke austerely on the sin of conspiracy,
and the certainty of punishment. Namgay Doola's face
clouded for a moment. Shortly afterwards he withdrew
from my tent, and I heard him singing to himself softly
among the pines. The words were unintelligible to me,
but the tune, like his liquid insinuating speech, seemed
the ghost of something strangely familiar.

Dir hane mard-i-yemen dir
To weeree ala gee,

248 LIFE'S HANDICAP

sang Namgay Doola again and again, and I racked my
brain for that lost tune. It was not till after dinner
that I discovered some one had cut a square foot of
velvet from the centre of my best camera-cloth. This
made me so angry that I wandered down the valley in
the hope of meeting the big brown bear. I could hear
him grunting like a discontented pig in the poppy-field,
and 1 waited shoulder deep in the dew-dripping Indian
corn to catch him after his meal. The moon was at full
and drew out the rich scent of the tasselled crop. Then I
heard the anguished bellow of a Himalayan cow, one of the
little black crummies no bigger than Newfoundland dogs.
Two shadows that looked like a bear and her cub hurried
past me. I was in act to fire when I saw that they had
each a brilliant red head. The lesser animal was trail
ing some rope behind it that left a dark track on the
path. They passed within six feet of me, and the shadow
of the moonlight lay velvet-black on their faces. Velvet-
black was exactly the word, for by all the powers of
moonlight they were masked in the velvet of my camera-
cloth ! I marvelled and went to bed.

Next morning the Kingdom was in uproar. Namgay
Doola, men said, had gone forth in the night and with a
sharp knife had cut off the tail of a cow belonging to the
rabbit -faced villager who had betrayed him. It was
sacrilege unspeakable against the Holy Cow. The State
desired his blood, but he had retreated into his hut, bar
ricaded the doors and windows with big stones, and defied
the world.

The King and I and the Populace approached the hut
cautiously. There was no hope of capturing the man
without loss of life, for from a hole in the wall projected
the muzzle of an extremely well-cared-for gun — the only
gun in the State that could shoot. Namgay Doola had

NAMGAY DOOLA 249

narrowly missed a villager just before we came up. The
Standing Army stood. It could do no more, for when it
advanced pieces of sharp shale flew from the windows.
To these were added from time to time showers of scald
ing water. We saw red heads bobbing up and down
in the hut. The family of Namgay Doola were aiding
their sire, and blood-curdling yells of defiance were the
only answers to our prayers.

'Never/ said the King, puffing, 'has such a thing
befallen my State. Next year I will certainly buy a
little cannon.' He looked at me imploringly.

' Is there any priest in the Kingdom to whom he will
listen ? ' said I, for a light was beginning to break upon me.

' He worships his own God/ said the Prime Minister.
' We can starve him out.'

' Let the white man approach/ said Namgay Doola
from within. 'All others I will kill. Send me the
white man.'

The door was thrown open and I entered the smoky
interior of a Thibetan hut crammed with children. And
every child had flaming red hair. A raw cow's-tail lay
on the floor, and by its side two pieces of black velvet —
my black velvet — rudely hacked into the semblance of
masks.

' And what is this shame, Namgay Doola ? ' said I.

He grinned more winningly than ever. ' There is no
shame/ said he. ' I did but cut off the tail of that man's
cow. He betrayed me. I was minded to shoot him,
Sahib. But not to death. Indeed not to death. Only
in the legs.'

' And why at all, since it is the custom to pay revenue
to the King ? Why at all ? '

' By the God of my father I cannot tell/ said Namgay
Doola.

250 LIFE'S HANDICAP

•' And who was thy father ? '

' The same that had this gun.' He showed me his
weapon — a Tower musket bearing date 1832 and the
stamp of the Honourable East India Company.

' And thy father's name ? ' said I.

' Timlay, Doola,' said he. ' At the first, I being then
a little child, it is in my mind that he wore a red
coat.'

' Of that I have no doubt. But repeat the name of
thy father thrice or four times.'

He obeyed, and I understood whence the puzzling
accent in his speech came. ' Thimla Dhula,' said he
excitedly. ' To this hour I worship his God.'

' May I see that God ? '

' In a little while — at twilight time.'

' Eememberest thou aught of thy father's speech ? '

' It is long ago. But there is one word which he said
often. Thus " Shun." Then I and my brethren stood
upon our feet, our hands to our sides. Thus.'

' Even so. And what was thy mother ? '

' A woman of the hills. We be Lepchas of Darjeeling,
but me they call an outlander because my hair is as thou
seest.'

The Thibetan woman, his wife, touched him on the
arm gently. The long parley outside the fort had lasted
far into the day. It was now close upon twilight — the hour
of the Angelus. Very solemnly, the red -headed brats
rose from the floor and formed a semicircle. Namgay
Doola laid his gun against the wall, lighted a little oil
lamp, and set it before a recess in the wall. Pulling
aside a curtain of dirty cloth he revealed a worn brass
crucifix leaning against the helmet-badge of a long for
gotten East India regiment. ' Thus did my father,' he
said, crossing himself clumsily. The wife and children

NAMGAY DOOLA 251

followed suit. Then all together they struck up the wail
ing chant that I heard on the hillside —

Dir hane mard-i-yemen dir
To weeree ala gee.

I was puzzled no longer. Again and again they crooned,
as if their hearts would break, their version of the chorus
of the Wearing of the Green —

They're hanging men and women too,
For the wearing of the green.

A diabolical inspiration came to me. One of the brats, a
boy about eight years old, was watching me as he sang.
I pulled out a rupee, held the coin between finger and
thumb, and looked — only looked — at the gun against the
wall. A grin of brilliant and perfect comprehension
overspread the face of the child. Never for an instant
stopping the song, he held out his hand for the money,
and then slid the gun to my hand. I might have shot
Namgay Doola as he chanted. But I was satisfied. The
blood-instinct of the race held true. Namgay Doola drew
the curtain across the recess. Angelus was over.

' Thus my father sang. There was much more, but I
have forgotten, and I do not know the purport of these
words, but it may be that the God will understand. I
am not of this people, and I will not pay revenue.'

' And why ? '

Again that soul-compelling grin. ' What occupation
would be to me between crop and crop ? It is better
than scaring bears. But these people do not understand.'
He picked the masks from the floor, and looked in my
face as simply as a child.

' By what road didst thou attain knowledge to make
these devilries ? ' I said, pointing.

252 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' I cannot tell. I am but a Lepeha of Darjeeling, and
yet the stuff '

'Which thou hast stolen/

' Nay, surely. Did I steal ? I desired it so. The
stuff — the stuff — what else should I have done with
the stuff ? ' He twisted the velvet between his fingers.

1 But the sin of maiming the cow — consider that ? '

' That is true ; but Oh, Sahib, that man betrayed me
and I had no thought — but the heifer's tail waved in the
moonlight and I had my knife. What else should I have
done ? The tail came off ere I was aware. Sahib, thou
knowest more than I.'

' That is true/ said I. ' Stay within the door. I go
to speak to the King/

The population of the State were ranged on the hill
sides. I went forth and spoke to the King.

' 0 King/ said I. ' Touching this man there be two
courses open to thy wisdom. Thou canst either hang
him from a tree, he and his brood, till there remains no
hair that is red within the land/

' Nay/ said the King. ' Why should I hurt the little
children ? '

They had poured out of the hut door and were
making plump obeisance to everybody. Namgay Doola
waited with his gun across his arm.

' Or thou canst, discarding the impiety of the cow-
maiming, raise him to honour in thy Army. He comes of
a race that will not pay revenue. A red flame is in his
blood which comes out at the top of his head in that
glowing hair. Make him chief of the Army. Give him
honour as may befall, and full allowance of work, but
look to it, 0 King, that neither he nor his hold a foot
of earth from thee henceforward. Feed him with words
and favour, and also liquor from certain bottles that thou

NAMGAY DOOLA 253

knowest of, and he will be a bulwark of defence. But
deny him even a tuft of grass for his own. This is the
nature that God has given him. Moreover he has
brethren—

The State groaned unanimously.

' But if his brethren come, they will surely fight with
each other till they die ; or else the one will always
give information concerning the other. Shall he be of
thy Army, 0 King ? Choose.'

The King bowed his head, and I said, ' Come forth,
Namgay Doola, and command the King's Army. Thy
name shall no more be Namgay in the mouths of men,
but Patsay Doola, for as thou hast said, I know/

Then Namgay Doola, new christened Patsay Doola,
son of Timlay Doola, which is Tim Doolan gone very
wrong indeed, clasped the King's feet, cuffed the stand
ing Army, and hurried in an agony of contrition from
temple to temple, making offerings for the sin of cattle

maiming.

And the King was so pleased with my perspicacity,
that he offered to sell me a village for twenty pounds
sterling. But I buy no villages in the Himalayas so
long as one red head flares between the tail of the
heaven-climbing glacier, and the dark birch-forest.

I know that breed.

THE Chief Engineer's sleeping suit was of yellow striped
with blue, and his speech was the speech of Aberdeen.
They sluiced the deck under him, and he hopped on to
the ornamental capstan, a black pipe between his teeth,
though the hour was riot seven of the morn.

' Did you ever hear o' the Lang Men o' Larut ? ' he
asked when the Man from Orizava had finished a story
of an aboriginal giant discovered in the wilds of Brazil.
There was never story yet passed the lips of teller, but
the Man from Orizava could cap it.

' No, we never did/ we responded with one voice. The
Man from Orizava watched the Chief keenly, as a possible
rival.

' I'm not telling the story for the sake of talking
merely/ said the Chief, ' but as a warning against betting,
unless you bet on a perrfect certainty. The Lang Men o'
Larut were just a certainty. I have had talk wi' them.
Now Larut, you will understand, is a dependency, or it
may be an outlying possession, o' the 'island o' Penang,
and there they will get you tin and manganese, an' it may
hap mica, and all manner o' meenerals. Larut is a
great place.'

' But what about the population ? ' said the Man from
Orizava.

' The population/ said the Chief slowly, ' were few

THE LANG MEN 0' LARUT 255

but enorrmous. You must understand that, exceptin' the
tin-mines, there is no special inducement to Europeans
to reside in Larut. The climate is warm and remarkably
like the climate o' Calcutta ; and in regard to Calcutta,
it cannot have escaped your obsairvation that '

' Calcutta isn't Larut ; and we've only just come
from it,' protested the Man from Orizava. ' There's a
meteorological department in Calcutta, too/

' Ay, but there's no meteorological department in
Larut. Each man is a law to himself. Some drink
whisky, and some drink brandipanee, and some drink
cocktails — vara bad for the coats o' the stomach is a
cocktail — and some drink sangaree, so I have been
credibly informed ; but one and all they sweat like the
packing of a piston-head on a fourrteen-days' voyage with
the screw racing half her time. But, as I was saying,
the population o' Larut was five all told of English — that
is to say, Scotch — an' I'm Scotch, ye know/ said the
Chief.

The Man from Orizava lit another cigarette, and
waited patiently. It was hopeless to hurry the Chief
Engineer.

' I am not pretending to account for the population o'
Larut being laid down according to such fabulous dimen
sions. 0' the five white men engaged upon the extrac
tion o' tin ore and mercantile pursuits, there were three
o' the sons o' Anak. Wait while I remember. Lammitter
was the first by two inches — a giant in the land, an' a
terreefic man to cross in his ways. From heel to head he
was six feet nine inches, and proportionately built across
and through the thickness of his body. Six good feet
nine inches — an overbearin' man. Next to him, and I
have forgotten his precise business, was Sandy Vowle.
And he was six feet seven, but lean and lathy, and it

256 LIFE'S HANDICAP

was more in the elasteecity of his neck that the height
lay than in any honesty o' bone and sinew. Five feet
and a few odd inches may have been his real height.
The remainder came out when he held up his head, and
six feet seven he was upon the door -sills. I took his
measure in chalk standin' on a chair. And next to him,
but a proportionately made man, ruddy and of a fair
countenance, was Jock Coan — that they called the Fir
Cone. He was but six feet five, and a child beside
Lammitter and Vowle. When the three walked out
together, they made a scunner run through the colony o'
Larut. The Malays ran round them as though they had
been the giant trees in the Yosemite Valley — these three
Lang Men o' Larut. It was perfectly ridiculous — a lusus
naturae — that one little place should have contained
maybe the three tallest ordinar' men upon the face o'
the earth.

' Obsairve now the order o' things. For it led to the
finest big drink in Larut, and six sore heads the morn
that endured for a week. I am against immoderate
liquor, but the event to follow was a justification. You
must understand that many coasting steamers call at
Larut wi' strangers o' the mercantile profession. In the
spring time, when the young cocoanuts were ripening,
and the trees o' the forests were putting forth their
leaves, there came an American man to Larut, and he
was six foot three, or it may have been four, in his
stockings. He came on business from Sacramento, but
he stayed for pleasure wi' the Lang Men o' Larut.
Less than a half o' the population were ordinar' in their
girth and stature, ye will understand — Howson and
Nailor, merchants, five feet nine or thereabouts. He
had business with those two, and he stood above them
from the six feet threedom o' his height till they went

THE LANG MEN o' LARUT 257

to drink. In the course o' conversation he said, as tall
men will, things about his height, and the trouble of it
to him. That was his pride o' the flesh.

' " As the longest man in the island " he said, but

there they took him up and asked if he were sure.

' " I say I am the longest man in the island," he
said, " and on that I'll bet my substance."

' They laid down the bed-plates of a big drink then and
there, and put it aside while they called Jock Coan from
his house, near by among the fireflies' winking.

' " How's a' wi' you ? " said Jock, and came in by the
side o' the Sacramento profligate, two inches, or it may
have been one, taller than he.

' " You're long," said the man opening his eyes. " But
I am longer." An' they sent a whistle through the night
an' howkit out Sandie Vowle from his bit bungalow, and
he came in an' stood by the side o' Jock, an' the pair just
fillit the room to the ceiling-cloth.

' The Sacramento man was a euchre-player and a most
profane sweerer. " You hold both Bowers," he said, " but
the Joker is with me."

' " Fair an' softly," says Nailor. " Jock, whaur's Lang
Lammitter ? "

' " Here," says that man, putting his leg through the
window and coming in like an anaconda o' the desert
furlong by furlong, one foot in Penang and one in
Batavia, and a hand in North Borneo it may be.

' " Are you suited ? " said Nailor, when the hinder end
o' Lang Lammitter was slidden through the sill an' the
head of Lammitter was lost in the smoke away above.

' The American man took out his card and put it on
the table. " Esdras B. Longer is my name, America is
my nation, 'Frisco is my resting-place, but this here beats
Creation," said he. " Boys, giants — -side-show giants — I

s

258 LIFE'S HANDICAP

minded to slide out of my bet if I had been overtopped,
on the strength of the riddle on this paste-board. I
would have done it if you had topped me even by three
inches, but when it conies to feet — yards — miles, I am
not the man to shirk the biggest drink that ever made
the travellers'-joy palm blush 'with virginal indignation,
or the orang-outang and the perambulating dyak howl
with envy. Set them up and continue till the final
conclusion."

' 0 mon, I tell you 'twas an awful sight to see those
four giants threshing about the house and the island, and
tearin' down the pillars thereof an' throwing palm-trees
broadcast, and currling their long legs round the hills o'
Larut. An awfu' sight ! I was there. I did not mean
to tell you, but it's out now. I was not overcome, for I
e'en sat me down under the pieces o' the table at four
the morn an' meditated upon the strangeness of things.

' Losh, yon's the breakfast-bell ! '

BERTRAN AND BIMI

THE orang-outang in the big iron cage lashed to the
sheep-pen began the discussion. The night was stiflingly
hot, and as I and Hans Breitmann, the big-beamed Ger
man, passed him, dragging our bedding to the fore-peak
of the steamer, he roused himself and chattered obscenely.
He had been caught somewhere in the Malayan Archi
pelago, and was going to England to be exhibited at a
shilling a head. Eor four days he had struggled, yelled,
and wrenched at the heavy bars of his prison without
ceasing, and had nearly slain a Lascar, incautious enough
to come within reach of the great hairy paw.

' It would be well for you, mine friend, if you was a
liddle seasick/ said Hans Breitmann, pausing by the cage.
' You haf too much Ego in your Cosmos.'

The orang-outang's arm slid out negligently from
between the bars. No one would have believed that it
would make a sudden snakelike rush at the German's
breast. The thin silk of the sleeping -suit tore out;
Hans stepped back unconcernedly to pluck a banana
from a bunch hanging close to one of the boats.

' Too much Ego,' said he, peeling the fruit and offering
it to the caged devil, who was rending the silk to tatters.

Then we laid out our bedding in the bows among the
sleeping Lascars, to catch any breeze that the pace of the
ship might give us. The sea was like smoky oil, except

260 LIFE'S HANDICAP

where it turned to fire under our forefoot and whirled
back into the dark in smears of dull flame. There was
a thunderstorm some miles away ; we could see the
glimmer of the lightning. The ship's cow, distressed by
the heat and the smell of the ape-beast in the cage, lowed
unhappily from time to time in exactly the same key as
that in which the look-out man answered the hourly call
from the bridge. The trampling tune of the engines was
very distinct, and the jarring of the ash-lift, as it was
tipped into the sea, hurt the procession of hushed noise.
Hans laid down by my side and lighted a good-night
cigar. This was naturally the beginning of conversation.
He owned a voice as soothing as the wash of the sea,
and stores of experiences as vast as the sea itself; for
his business in life was to wander up and down the
world, collecting orchids and wild beasts and ethnological
specimens for German and American dealers. I watched
the glowing end of his cigar wax and wane in the gloom,
as the sentences rose and fell, till I was nearly asleep.
The orang-outang, troubled by some dream of the forests
of his freedom, began to yell like a soul in purgatory,
and to pluck madly at the bars of the cage.

' If he was out now dere would not be much of us
left hereabout,' said Hans lazily. ' He screams goot.
See, now, how I shall tame him when he stops himself.'

There was a pause in the outcry, and from Hans'
mouth came an imitation of a snake's hiss, so perfect that
I almost sprang to my feet. The sustained murderous
sound ran along the deck, and the wrenching at the bars
ceased. The orang-outang was quaking in an ecstasy of
pure terror.

' Dot stopped him,' said Hans. ' I learned dot trick
in Mogoung Tanjong when I was collecting liddle
monkeys for some peoples in Berlin. Efery one in der

BERTRAN AND BIMI 261

world is afraid of der monkeys — except der snake. So
I blay snake against monkey, and he keep quite still.
Dere was too much Ego in his Cosmos. Dot is der soul-
custom of monkeys. Are you asleep, or will you listen,
and I will tell a dale dot you shall not pelief ? '

' There's no tale in the wide world that I can't
believe,' I said.

' If you haf learned pelief you haf learned somedings.
Now I shall try your pelief. Goot ! When I was
collecting dose liddle monkeys — it was in '79 or '80, und
I was in der islands of der Archipelago — over dere in der
dark ' — he pointed southward to New Guinea generally
— ' Mem Gott ! I would sooner collect life red devils
than liddle monkeys. When dey do not bite oft' your
thumbs dey are always dying from nostalgia — home-sick
— for dey haf der imperfect soul, which is midway
arrested in defelopment — und too much Ego. I was
dere for nearly a year, und dere I found a man dot was
called Bertran. He was a Frenchman, und he was
goot man — naturalist to his bone. Dey said he- was
an escaped convict, but he was naturalist, und dot was
enough for me. He would call all der life beasts from
der forest, und dey would come. I said he was St.
Francis of Assizi in a new dransmigration produced, und
he laughed und said he haf never preach to der fishes.
He sold dem for tripang — ldclie-de-mer.

' Und dot man, who was king of beasts-tamer men, he
had in der house shust such anoder as dot devil-animal
in der cage — a great orang-outang dot thought he was a
man. He haf found him when he was a child — der
orang-outang — und he was child und brother und opera*
comique all round to Bertran. He had his room in dot
house — not a cage, but a room — mit a bed und sheets,
und he would go to bed und get up in der morning und

262 LIFE'S HANDICAP

smoke his cigar und eat his dinner mit Bertran, und walk
mit him hand in hand, which was most horrible. Herr
Gott ! I haf seen dot heast throw himself back in his
chair und laugh when Bertran haf made fun of me. He
was not a beast ; he was a man, und he talked to Bertran,
und Bertran comprehend, for I have seen dem. Und he
was always politeful to me except when I talk too long
to Bertran und say nodings at all to him. Den he would
pull me away — dis great, dark devil, mit his enormous
paws — shust as if I was a child. He was not a beast ;
he was a man. Dis I saw pefore I know him three
months, und Bertran he haf saw the same ; and Bimi,
der orang-outang, haf understood us both, mit his cigar
between his big dog-teeth und der blue gum.

' I was dere a year, dere und at dere oder islands —
somedimes for monkeys und somedimes for butterflies und
orchits. One time Bertran says to me dot he will be
married, because he haf found a girl dot was goot, und he
enquire if this marrying idee was right. I would not
say, pecause it was not me dot was going to be married.
Den he go oif courting der girl — she was a half-caste
French girl — very pretty. Haf you got a new light for
my cigar ? Ouf ! Very pretty. Only I say, " Haf you
thought of Bimi ? If he pull me away when I talk to
you, what will he do to your wife ? He will pull her in
pieces. If I was you, Bertran, I would gif my wife for
wedding-present der stuff figure of Bimi." By dot time
I had learned some dings about der monkey peoples.
" Shoot him ?" says Bertran. " He is your beast," I said ;
" if he was mine he would be shot now ! "

'Den I felt at der back of my neck der fingers of
Bimi. Mein Got ! I tell you dot he talked through
dose fingers. It was der deaf-and-dumb alphabet all
gomplete. He slide his hairy arm round my neck, und

BERTRAN AND BIMI 263

he tilt up my chin und look into my face, shust to see
if I understood his talk so well as he understood mine.

' " See now dere ! " says Bertran, " und you would
shoot him while he is cuddlin' you ? Dot is der Teuton
ingrate ! "

'But I knew dot I had made Bind a life's-enemy,
pecause his fingers haf talk murder through the back of
my neck. Next dime I see Bimi dere was a pistol in
my belt, und he touch it once, und I open der breech to
show him it was loaded. He haf seen der liddle monkeys
killed in der woods : he understood.

' So Bertran he was married, and he forgot clean about
Bimi dot was skippin' alone on der beach mit der half of
a human soul in his belly. I was see him skip, und he
took a big bough und thrash der sand till he haf made a
great hole like a grave. So I says to Bertran, " For any
sakes, kill Bimi. He is mad mit der jealousy."

' Bertran haf said " He is not mad at all. He haf obey
und lofe my wife, und if she speak he will get her slippers,"
und he looked at his wife agross der room. She was a
very pretty girl.

'Den I said to him, "Dost dou pretend to know
monkeys und dis beast dot is lashing himself mad upon
der sands, pecause you do not talk to him ? Shoot him
when he comes to der house, for he haf der light in his
eye dot means killing — und killing." Bimi come to der
house, but dere was no light in his eye. It was all put
away, cunning — so cunning — und he fetch der girl her
slippers, und Bertran turn to me und say, "Dost dou
know him in nine months more dan I haf known him in
twelve years ? Shall a child stab his fader ? I haf
fed him, und he was. my child. Do not speak this
nonsense to my wife or to me any more."

' Dot next day Bertran came to my house to help me

264 LIFE'S HANDICAP

make some wood cases for der specimens, und he tell me
dot he haf left his wife a liddle while mit Bimi in der
garden. Den I finish my cases quick, und I say, " Let us
go to your houses und get a trink." He laugh and say,
" Come along, dry mans."

' His wife was not in der garden, und Bimi did
not come when Bertran called. Und his wife did not
come when he called, und he knocked at her bedroom
door und dot was shut tight — locked. Den he look at
me, und his face was white. I broke down der door rnit
my shoulder, und der thatch of der roof was torn into a
great hole, und der sun came in upon der floor. Haf you
ever seen paper in der waste-basket, or cards at whist
on der table scattered ? Dere was no wife dot could be
seen. I tell you dere was nodings in dot room dot might
be a woman. Dere was stuff on der floor und dot was
all. I looked at dese things und I was very sick ; but
Bertran looked a liddle longer at what was upon the floor
und der walls, und der hole in der thatch. Den he
pegan to laugh, soft und low, und I knew und thank
Gott dot he was mad. He nefer cried, he nefer prayed.
He stood all still in der doorway und laugh to himself.
Den he said, " She haf locked herself in dis room, and he
haf torn up der thatch. Fi done I Dot is so. We will
mend der thatch und wait for Bimi. He will surely
come."

' I tell you we waited ten days in dot house, after der
room was made into a room again, und once or twice we
saw Bimi comin' a liddle way from der woods. He was
afraid pecause he haf done wrong. Bertran called him
when he was come to look on the tenth day, und Bimi
come skipping along der beach und making noises, mit a
long piece of black hair in his hands. Den Bertran laugh
and say, " Fi done I " shust as if it was a glass broken

BERTRAN AND BIMI 265

upon der table ; imd Bimi come nearer, und Bertran was
honey-sweet in his voice und laughed to himself. For
three days he made love to Bimi, pecause Bimi would not
let himself be touched. Den Bimi come to dinner at
der same table mit us, und the hair on his hands was all
black und thick mit — mit what had dried on der hands.
Bertran gave him sangaree till Bimi was drunk and
stupid, und den '

Hans paused to puff at his cigar.

' And then ? ' said I.

' Und den Bertran he kill him mit his hands, und I
go for a walk upon der beach. It was Bertran's own
piziness. When I come back der ape he was dead, und
Bertran he was dying abofe him ; but still he laughed
liddle und low und he was quite content. Now you
know der formula of der strength of der orang-outang —
it is more as seven to one in relation to man. But
Bertran, he haf killed Bimi init sooch dings as Gott gif
him. Dot was der miracle.'

The infernal clamour in the cage recommenced. ' Aha !
Dot friend of ours haf still too much Ego in his Cosmos.
Be quiet, dou ! '

Hans hissed long and venomously. We could hear
the great beast quaking in his cage.

' But why in the world didn't you help Bertran instead
of letting him be killed ? ' I asked.

' My friend,' said Hans, composedly stretching himself
to slumber, ' it was not nice even to mineself dot I should
live after I haf seen dot room mit der hole in der
thatch. Und Bertran, he was her husband. Goot-night,
und — sleep well.'

KEINGELDEK AND THE GEKMAN FLAG

HANS BKEITMANN paddled across the deck in his pink
pyjamas, a cup of tea in one hand and a cheroot in the
other, when the steamer was sweltering down the coast on
her way to Singapur. He drank beer all day and all
night, and played a game called ' Scairt ' with three
compatriots.

' I haf washed,' said he in a voice of thunder, ' but,
dere is no use washing on these hell-seas. Look at me
— I am still all wet und schweatin'. It is der tea dot
makes me so. Boy, bring me Bilsener on ice.'

' You will die if you drink beer before breakfast,'
said one man. ' Beer is the worst thing in the world
for-

' Ya, I know — der liver. I haf no liver, und I shall
not die. At least I will not die obon dese benny sdeamers
dot haf no beer fit to trink. If I should haf died, I will
haf don so a hoondert dimes before now — in Shermany,
in New York, in Japon, in Assam, und all over der inside
barts of South Amerique. Also in Shamaica should I
haf died or in Siam, but I am here ; und der are my orchits
dot I have drafelled all the vorld round to find.'

He pointed towards the wheel, where, in two rough
wooden boxes, lay a mass of shrivelled vegetation, supposed
by all the ship to represent Assam orchids of fabulous
value.

REINGELDER AND THE GERMAN FLAG 267

Now, orchids do not grow in the main streets of towns,
and Hans Breitmann had gone far to get his. There
was nothing that he had not collected that year, from king-
crabs to white kangaroos.

' Lisclen now,' said he, after he had been speaking for
not much more than ten minutes without a pause ; ' Lisclen
und I will dell you a sdory to show how bad und worse
it is to go gollectin' und belief vot anoder fool haf said.
Dis was in Uraguay which was in Amerique — North or
Sout' you would not know — und I was hoontin' orchits
und aferydings else dot I could back in my kanasters —
dot is drafelling sbecimen-gaces. Dere vas den mit me
anoder man — Eeingelder, dot vas his name — und he vas
hoontin' also but only coral-snakes — joost Uraguay coral-
snakes — aferykind you could imagine. I dell you a coral-
snake is a peauty — all red und white like coral dot has
been gestrung in bands upon der neck of a girl. Dere is
one snake howefer dot we who gollect know ash der
Sherman Flag, pecause id is red und plack und white,
joost like a sausage mit druffles. Keingelder he was
naturalist — goot man — goot trinker — better as me ! "By
Gott," said Keingelder, " I will get a Sherman Flag snake
or I will die." Und we toorned all Uraguay upside-
behint all pecause of dot Sherman Flag.

'Von day when we was in none knows where —
shwingin' in our hummocks among der woods, oop comes
a natif woman mit a Sherman Flag in a bickle-bottle —
my bickle-bottle — und we both fell from our hummocks
flat ubon our pot- — what you call stomach — mit shoy at
dis thing. Now I was gollectin' orchits also, und I
knowed dot der idee of life to Eeingelder vas dis Sher
man Flag. Derefore I bicked myselfs oop und I said,
" Eeingelder dot is your find." — " Heart's true friend, dou
art a goot man," said Eeingelder, und mit dot he obens

268 LIFE'S HANDICAP

der bickle- bottle, und der natif woman she shqueals.
" Herr Gott ! It will bite." I said — pecause in Uraguay
a man must be careful of der insects — " Eeingelder shpifli-
gate her in der alcohol und den she will be all right." —
" Nein," said Eeingelder, " I will der shnake alife examine.
Dere is no fear. Der coral snakes are mitout shting-
apparatus brofided." Boot I looked at her het, und she
vas der het of a boison-shnake — der true viper cranium,
narrow und contract. " It is not goot," said I, " she may
bite und den — we are tree hoondert mile from afery-
wheres. Broduce der alcohol und bickle him alife."
Eeingelder he had him in his hand — grawlin' und grawlin'
as slow as a woorm und dwice as guiet. " Nonsense," says
Keingelder. " Yates haf said dot not von of der coral-
snakes haf der sack of boison." Yates vas der crate
authorite ubon der reptilia of Sout' Amerique. He haf
written a book. You do not know, of course, but he vas
a crate authorite.

' I gum my eye upon der Sherman Flag, grawlin' und
grawlin' in Eeingelder's fist, und der het vas not der het
of innocence. " Mein Got/' I said. " It is you dot will
get der sack — der sack from dis life here pelow ! "

' " Den you may haf der snake," says Eeingelder, pattin'
it ubon her het. " See now, I will show you vat Yates
haf written ! "

Und mit dot he went indo his dent, unt brung out
his big book of Yates ; der Sherman Flag grawlin' in his
fist. " Yates haf said," said Eeingelder, und he throwed
oben der book in der fork of his fist und read der passage,
proofin' conglusivement dot nefer coral -snake bite vas
boison. Den he shut der book mit a bang, und dot
shqueeze der Sherman Flag, und she nip once und
dwice.

' " Der liddle fool he haf bit me," says Eeingelder.

KEINGELDER AND THE GERMAN FLAG 269

' Dese things was before we know apout der perman-
ganat-potash injection. I was discomfordable.

' " Die oop der arm, Eeingelder," said I, " und trink
whisky ontil you can no more trink."

' " Trink ten tousand tevils ! I will go to dinner,"
said Eeingelder, und he put her afay, und it vas very red
mit emotion.

' We lifed upon soup, horse-flesh, und beans for dinner,
but before we vas eaten der soup, Reingelder he haf hold
of his arm und cry, " It is genumben to der clavicle. I
am a dead man ; und Yates he haf lied in brint ! "

' I dell you it vas most sad, for der symbtoms dot
came vas all dose of strychnine. He vas doubled into
big knots, und den undoubled, und den redoubled mooch
worse dan pefore, und he frothed. I vas mit him, saying
" Eeingelder dost dou know me ? " but he himself, der
inward gonsciousness part, was peyond knowledge, und
so I know he vas not in bain. Den he wrop himself oop
in von dremendous knot und den he died — all alone mit
me in Uraguay. I was sorry for I lofed Eeingelder, und
I puried him, und den I took der coral-snake — dot Sher
man Flag — so bad und dreacherous, und I bickled him
alife.

' So I got him : und so I lost Eeingelder.'

THE WANDERING JEW

' IF you go once round the world in an easterly direction,
you gain one day/ said the men of science to John
Hay. In after years John Hay went east, west, north,
and south, transacted business, made love, and begat a
family, as have done many men, and the scientific informa
tion above recorded lay neglected in the deeps of his mind
with a thousand other matters of equal importance.

When a rich relative died, he found himself wealthy
beyond any reasonable expectation that he had entertained
in his previous career, which had been a chequered and
evil one. Indeed, long before the legacy came to him,
there existed in the brain of John Hay a little cloud — a
momentary obscuration of thought that came and went
almost before he could realise that there was any solution
of continuity. So do the bats flit round the eaves of a
house to show that the darkness is falling. He entered
upon great possessions, in money, land, and houses ; but
behind his delight stood a ghost that cried out that his
enjoyment of these things should not be of long duration.
It was the ghost of the rich relative, who had been per
mitted to return to earth to torture his nephew into the
grave. Wherefore, under the spur of this constant
reminder, John Hay, always preserving the air of heavy
business-like stolidity that hid the shadow on his mind,
turned investments, houses, and lands into sovereigns —

THE WANDERING JEW 271

rich, round, red, English sovereigns, each one worth
twenty shillings. Lands may become valueless, and
houses fly heavenward on the wings of red flame, but till
the Day of Judgment a sovereign will always be a sovereign
— that is to say, a king of pleasures.

Possessed of his sovereigns, John Hay would fain have
spent them one by one on such coarse amusements as his
soul loved ; but he was haunted by the instant fear of
Death ; for the ghost of his relative stood in the hall of
his house close to the hat-rack, shouting up the stairway
that life was short, that there was no hope of increase of
days, and that the undertakers were already roughing out
his nephew's coffin. John Hay was generally alone in
the house, and even when he had company, his friends
could not hear the clamorous uncle. The shadow inside
his brain grew larger and blacker. His fear of death was
driving John Hay mad.

Then, from the deeps of his mind, where he had stowed
away all his discarded information, rose to light the
scientific fact of the Easterly journey. On the next
occasion that his uncle shouted up the stairway urging
him to make haste and live, a shriller voice cried, 'Who
goes round the world once easterly, gains one day.'

His growing diffidence and distrust of mankind made
John Hay unwilling to give this precious message of hope
to his friends. They might take it up and analyse it.
He was sure it was true, but it would pain him acutely
were rough hands to examine it too closely. To him
alone of all the toiling generations of mankind had the
secret of immortality been vouchsafed. It would be
impious — against all the designs of the Creator — to set
mankind hurrying eastward. Besides, this would crowd
the steamers inconveniently, and John Hay wished of all
things to be alone. If he could get round the world in

272 LIFE'S HANDICAP

two months — some one of whom he had read, he could
not remember the name, had covered the passage in
eighty days — he would gain a clear day ; and by
steadily continuing to do it for thirty years, would gain
one hundred and eighty days, or nearly the half of a year.
It would not be much, but in course of time, as civilisa
tion advanced, and the Euphrates Valley Eailway was
opened, he could improve the pace.

Armed with many sovereigns, John Hay, in the
thirty -fifth year of his age, set forth on his travels,
two voices bearing him company from Dover as he
sailed to Calais. Fortune favoured him. The Euphrates
Valley Eailway was newly opened, and he was the
first man who took ticket direct from Calais to Calcutta
— thirteen days in the train. Thirteen days in the train
are not good for the nerves ; but he covered the world
and returned to Calais from America in twelve days over
the Iwo months, and started afresh with four and twenty
hours of precious time to his credit. Three years passed,
and John Hay religiously went round this earth seeking
for more time wherein to enjoy the remainder of his
sovereigns. He became known on many lines as the
man who wanted to go on ; when people asked him what
he was and what he did, he answered —

1 I'm the person who intends to live, and I am trying
to do it now/

His days were divided between watching the white
wake spinning behind the stern of the swiftest steamers,
or the brown earth flashing past the windows of the
fastest trains ; and he noted in a pocket-book every
minute that he had railed or screwed out of remorseless
eternity.

' This is better than praying for long life,' quoth John
Hay as he turned his face eastward for his twentieth trip.

THE WANDERING JEW 273

The years had done more for him than he dared to hope.
By the extension of the Brahmaputra Valley line to meet
the newly-developed China Midland, the Calais railway
ticket held good via Karachi and Calcutta to Hongkong.
The round trip could be managed in a fraction over forty-
seven clays, and, filled with fatal exultation, John Hay
told the secret of his longevity to his only friend, the
house -keeper of his rooms in London. He spoke and
passed ; but the woman was one of resource, and im
mediately took counsel with the lawyers who had first
informed John Hay of his golden legacy. Very many
sovereigns still remained, and another Hay longed to
spend them on things more sensible than railway tickets
and steamer accommodation.

The chase was long, for when a man is journeying
literally for the dear life, he does not tarry upon the
road. Eound the world Hay swept anew, and overtook
the wearied Doctor, who had been sent out to look
for him, in Madras. It was there that he found
the reward of his toil and the assurance of a blessed
immortality. In half an hour the Doctor, watching
always the parched lips, the shaking hands, and the
eye that turned eternally to the east, won John Hay
to rest in a little house close to the Madras surf.
All that Hay need do was to hang by ropes from the
roof of the room and let the round earth swing free
beneath him. This was better than steamer or train, for
he gained a day in a day, and was thus the equal of the
undying sun. The other Hay would pay his expenses
throughout eternity.

It is true that we cannot yet take tickets from Calais
to Hongkong, though that will come about in fifteen
years ; but men say that if you wander along the

T

274 LIFE'S HANDICAP

southern coast of India you shall find in a neatly
whitewashed little bungalow, sitting in a chair swung
from the roof, over a sheet of thin steel which he
knows so well destroys the attraction of the earth,
an old and worn man who for ever faces the rising
sun, a stop-watch in his hand, racing against eternity.
He cannot drink, he does not smoke, and his living
expenses amount to perhaps twenty-five rupees a month,
but he is John Hay, the Immortal. Without, he hears
the thunder of the wheeling world with which he is
careful to explain he has no connection whatever ; but if
you say that it is only the noise of the surf, he will cry
bitterly, for the shadow on his brain is passing away
as the brain ceases to work, and he doubts sometimes
whether the doctor spoke the truth.

'Why does not the sun always remain over my
head ? ' asks John Hay.

THEOUGH THE FIKE

THE Policeman rode through the Himalayan forest, under
the moss-draped oaks, and his orderly trotted after him.

' It's an ugly business, Bhere Singh/ said the Police
man. ' Where are they ? '

' It is a very ugly business,' said Bhere Singh ; ' and as
for tliem, they are, doubtless, now frying in a hotter fire
than was ever made of spruce-branches/

' Let us hope not/ said the Policeman, 'for, allowing for
the difference between race and race, it's the story of
Francesca da Pdmini, Bhere Singh.'

Bhere Singh knew nothing about Francesca da Eimini,
so he held his peace until they came to the charcoal-
burners' clearing where the dying flames said 'whit, whit,
whit' as they fluttered and whispered over the white
ashes. It must have been a great fire when at full
height. Men had seen it at Donga Pa across the valley
winking and blazing through the night, and said that the
charcoal-burners of Kodru were getting drunk. But it
was only Suket Singh, Sepoy of the 102d Punjab Native
Infantry, and Athira, a woman, burning — burning —
burning.

This was how things befell ; and the Policeman's Diary
will bear me out.

Athira was the wife of Madu, who was a charcoal-
burner, one-eyed and of a malignant disposition. A week

276 LIFE'S HANDICAP

after their marriage, he beat Athira with a heavy stick.
A month later, Suket Singh, Sepoy, came that way to the
cool hills on leave from his regiment, arid electrified the
villagers of Kodru with tales of service and glory under
the Government, and the honour in which he, Suket Singh,
was held by the Colonel Sahib Bahadur. And Desde-
mona listened to Othello as Desdemonas have done all
the world over, and, as she listened, she loved.

' I've a wife of my own,' said Suket Singh, ' though
that is no matter when you come to think of it. I am
also due to return to my regiment after a time, and I
cannot be a deserter — I who intend to be Havildar.'
There is no Himalayan version of ' I could not love thee,
dear, as much, Loved I not Honour more;' but Suket
Singh came near to making one.

'Never mind,' said Athira, 'stay with me, and, if
Madu tries to beat me, you beat him/

c Very good/ said Suket Singh ; and he beat Madu
severely, to the delight of all the charcoal-burners of
Kodru.

' That is enough/ said Suket Singh, as he rolled Madu
down the hillside. 'JSTow we shall have peace/ But
Madu crawled up the grass slope again, and hovered
round his hut with angry eyes.

'He'll kill me dead/ said Athira to Suket Singh.
' You must take me away/

' There'll be a trouble in the Lines. My wife will pull
out my beard ; but never mind,' said Suket Singh, ' I will
take you/

There was loud trouble in the Lines, and Suket
Singh's beard was pulled, and Suket Singh's wife went to
live with her mother and took away the children. ' That's
all right/ said Athira ; and Suket Singh said, ' Yes, that's
all right/

THROUGH THE FIRE 277

So there was only Madu left in the hut that looks
across the valley to Donga Pa ; and, since the beginning
of time, no one has had any sympathy for husbands so
unfortunate as Madu.

He went to Juseen Daze, the wizard-man who keeps
the Talking Monkey's Head.

' Get me back my wife/ said Madu.

* I can't/ said Juseen Daze, ' until you have made the
Sutlej in the valley run up the Donga Pa.'

'No riddles/ said Madu, and he shook his hatchet
above Juseen Daze's white head.

1 Give all your money to the headmen of the village/
said Juseen Daze ; ' and they will hold a communal
Council, and the Council will send a message that your
wife must come back/

So Madu gave up all his worldly wealth, amounting
to twenty-seven rupees, eight annas, three pice, and a
silver chain, to the Council of Kodru. And it fell as
Juseen Daze foretold.

They sent Athira's brother down into Suket Singh's
regiment to call Athira home. Suket Singh kicked
liim once round the Lines, and then handed him over to
the Havildar, who beat him with a belt.

' Come back/ yelled Athira's brother.

( Where to ? ' said Athira.

' To Madu/ said he.

' Never/ said she.

' Then Juseen Daze will send a curse, and you will
wither away like a barked tree in the springtime, said
Athira's brother. Athira slept over these things.

Next morning she had rheumatism. ' I am beginning
to wither away like a barked tree in the springtime/ she
said. ' That is the curse of Juseen Daze.'

And she really began to wither away because her

278 LIFE'S HANDICAP

heart was dried up with fear, and those who believe in
curses die from curses. Suket Singh, too, was afraid
because he loved Athira better than his very life. Two
months passed, and Athira's brother stood outside the
regimental Lines again and yelped, ' Aha ! You are
withering away. Come back.'

' I will come back/ said Athira.

' Say rather that we will come back/ said Suket Singh.

' Ai ; but when ? ' said Athira's brother. •

' Upon a day very early in the morning/ said Suket
Singh ; and he tramped off to apply to the Colonel Sahib
Bahadur for one week's leave.

' I am withering away like a barked tree in the spring/
moaned Athira.

' You will be better soon/ said Suket Singh ; and he
told her what was in his heart, and the two laughed

' O

together softly for they loved each other. But Athira
grew better from that hour.

They went away together, travelling third-class by
train as the regulations provided, and then in a cart to
the low hills, and on foot to the high ones. Athira
sniffed the scent of the pines of her own hills, the wet
Himalayan hills. ' It is good to be alive/ said Athira.

' Hah ! ' said Suket Singh. ' Where is the Kodru road,
and where is the Forest Eanger's house ? . . .

' It cost forty rupees twelve years ago/ said the Forest
Eanger handing the gun.

' Here are twenty/ said Suket Singh, ' and you must
give me the best bullets/

'It is very good to be alive/ said Athira wistfully,
sniffing the scent of the pine-mould ; and they waited
till the night had fallen upon Kodru and the Donga Pa.
Madu had stacked the dry wood for the next day's
charcoal-burning on the spur above his house. ' It is

THROUGH THE FIRE 279

courteous in Madu to save us this trouble/ said Suket
Singh as he stumbled on the pile, which was twelve foot
square and four high. ' We must wait till the moon
rises.'

When the moon rose, Athira knelt upon the pile. 'If
it were only a Government Snider/ said Suket Singh
ruefully, squinting down the wire-bound barrel of the
Forest Eanger's gun.

' Be quick/ said Athira ; and Suket Singh was quick ;
but Athira was quick no longer. Then he lit the pile
at the four corners and climbed on to it, re-loading the

gun.

The little flames began to peer up between the
big logs atop of the brushwood. ' The Government should
teach us to pull the triggers with our toes/ said Suket
Singh grimly to the moon. That was the last public
observation of Sepoy Suket Singh.

Upon a day, early in the morning, Madu came to the
pyre and shrieked very grievously, and ran away to catch
the Policeman who was on tour in the district.

'The base-born has ruined four rupees' worth of
charcoal wood/ Madu gasped. ' He has also killed my
wife, and he has left a letter which I cannot read, tied to
a pine bough.'

In the stiff, formal hand taught in the regimental
school, Sepoy Suket Singh had written —

' Let us be burned together, if anything remain over,
for we have made the necessary prayers. We have also
cursed Madu, and Malak the brother of Athira — both
evil men. Send my service to the Colonel Sahib
Bahadur.'

The Policeman looked long and curiously at the
marriage bed of red and white ashes on which lay, dull

280 LIFE'S HANDICAP

black, the barrel of the Kanger's gun. He drove his
spurred heel absently into a half-charred log, and the
chattering sparks flew upwards. 'Most extraordinary
people,' said the Policeman.

' Whe-w, whew, ouiou' said the little flames.

The Policeman entered the dry bones of the case, for
the Punjab Government does not approve of romancing,
in his Diary.

' But who will pay me those four rupees ? ' said Madu.

THE FINANCES OF THE GODS

THE evening meal was ended in Dhunni Bhagat's Chubara
and the old priests were smoking or counting their beads.
A little naked child pattered in, with its mouth wide
open, a handful of marigold flowers in one hand, and a
lump of conserved tobacco in the other. It tried to kneel
and make obeisance to Gobind, but it was so fat that it
fell . forward on its shaven head, and rolled on its side,
kicking and gasping, while the marigolds tumbled one
way and the tobacco the other. Gobind laughed, set it
up again, and blessed the marigold flowers as he received
the tobacco.

' From my father,' said the child. ' He has the fever,
and cannot come. Wilt thou pray for him, father ? '

' Surely, littlest ; but the smoke is on the ground, and
the night-chill is in the air, and it is not good to go
abroad naked in the autumn.'

' I have no clothes,' said the child, ' and all to-day I
have been carrying cow-dung cakes to the bazar. It was
very hot, and I am very tired.' It shivered a little, for
the twilight was cool.

Gobind lifted an arm under his vast tattered quilt of
many colours, and made an inviting little nest by his side.
The child crept in, and Gobind filled his brass-studded
leather waterpipe with the new tobacco. When I came
to the Chubara the shaven head with the tuft atop, and

282 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the beady black eyes looked out of the folds of the quilb
as a squirrel looks out from his nest, and Gobind was
smiling while the child played with his beard.

I would have said something friendly, but remembered
in time that if the child fell ill afterwards I should be
credited with the Evil Eye, and that is a horrible
possession.

' Sit thou still, Thumbling,' I said as it made to get up
and run away. ' Where is thy slate, and why has the
teacher let such an evil character loose on the streets
when there are no police to protect us weaklings ? In
which ward dost thou try to break thy neck with flying
kites from the house-tops ? '

'Nay, Sahib, nay,' said the child, burrowing its face
into Gobind's beard, and twisting uneasily. ' There was
a holiday to-day among the schools, and I do not always
fly kites. I play ker-li-kit like the rest.'

Cricket is the national game among the schoolboys of
the Punjab, from the naked hedge-school children, who
use an old kerosine-tin for wicket, to the B.A.'s of the
University, who compete for the Championship belt.

' Thou play kerlikit ! Thou art half the height of the
bat ! ' I said.

The child nodded resolutely. ' Yea, I do play. Perlay-
ball. Ow-at ! Ran, ran, ran ! I know it all/

' But thou must not forget with all this to pray to the
Gods according to custom/ said Gobind, who did not
altogether approve of cricket and western innovations.

' I do not forget/ said the child in a hushed voice.

' Also to give reverence to thy teacher, and '- —Gobind's
voice softened — ' to abstain from pulling holy men by the
beard, little badling. Eh, eh, eh ? '

The child's face was altogether hidden in the great
white beard, and it began to whimper till Gobind soothed

THE FINANCES OF THE GODS 283

it as children are soothed all the world over, with the
promise of a story.

' I did not think to frighten thee, senseless little one.
Look up ! Am I angry ? Are, are, are I Shall I weep
too, and of our tears make a great pond and drown us
both, and then thy father will never get well, lacking thee
to pull his beard ? Peace, peace, and I will tell thee of
the Gods. Thou hast heard many tales ? '

' Very many, father.'

' Now, this is a new one which thou hast not heard.
Long and long ago when the Gods walked with men as
they do to-day, but that we have not faith to see, Shiv,
the greatest of Gods, and Parbati his wife, were walking
in the garden of a temple.'

1 Which temple ? That in the Nandgaon ward ? ' said
the child.

' Nay, very far away. Maybe at Trimbak or Hurdwar,
whither thou must make pilgrimage when thou art a
man. Now, there was sitting in the garden under the
jujube trees, a mendicant that had worshipped Shiv for
forty years, and he lived on the offerings of the pious, and
meditated holiness night and day.'

' Oh father, was it thou ? ' said the child, looking up
with large eyes.

' Nay, I have said it was long ago, and, moreover, this
mendicant was married.'

' Did they put him cm a horse with flowers on his head,
and forbid him to go to sleep all night long ? Thus they
did to me when they made my wedding,' said the child,
who had been married a few months before.

' And what didst thou do ? ' said I.

' I wept, and they called me evil names, and then I
smote Tier, and we wept together.'

' Thus did not the mendicant,' said Gobind ; ' for he

284 LIFE'S HANDICAP

was a holy man, and very poor. Parbati perceived him
sitting naked by the temple steps where all went up and
down, and she said to Shiv, " What shall men think of the
Gods when the Gods thus scorn their worshippers ? For
forty years yonder man has prayed to us, and yet there
be only a few grains of rice and some broken cowries
before him after all. Men's hearts will be hardened by
this thing." And Shiv said, " It shall be looked to," and
so he called to the temple which was the temple of his
son, Ganesh of the elephant head, saying, " Son, there is
a mendicant without who is very poor. What wilt thou
do for him ? " Then that great elephant-headed One
awoke in the dark and answered, " In three days, if it be
thy will, he shall have one lakh of rupees." Then Shiv
and Parbati went away.

' But there was a money-lender in the garden hidden
among the marigolds ' — the child looked at the ball of
crumpled blossoms in its hands — 'ay, among the yellow
marigolds, and he heard the Gods talking. He was a
covetous man, and of a black heart, and he desired that
lakh of rupees for himself. So he went to the mendicant
and said, " 0 brother, how much do the pious give thee
daily ? " The mendicant said, " I cannot tell. Sometimes
a little rice, sometimes a little pulse, and a few cowries
and, it has been, pickled mangoes, and dried fish."

' That is good,' said the child, smacking its lips.

' Then said the money-lender, " Because I have long
watched thee, and learned to love thee and thy patience,
I will give thee now five rupees for all thy earnings of
the three days to come. There is only a bond to sign on
the matter." But the mendicant said, " Thou art mad.
In two months I do not receive the worth of five rupees,"
and he told the thing to his wife that evening. She, being
a woman, said, " When did money-lender ever make a bad

THE FINANCES OF THE GODS 285

bargain ? The wolf runs through the corn for the sake of
the fat deer. Our fate is in the hands of the Gods.
Pledge it not even for three days."

' So the mendicant returned to the money-lender, and
would not sell. Then that wicked man sat all day before
him offering more and more for those three days' earnings.
First, ten, fifty, and a hundred rupees ; and then, for he
did not know when the Gods would pour down their
gifts, rupees by the thousand, till he had offered half a
lakh of rupees. Upon this sum the mendicant's wife
shifted her council, and the mendicant signed the bond,
and the money was paid in silver ; great white bullocks
bringing it by the cartload. But saving only all that
money, the mendicant received nothing from the Gods at
all, and the heart of the money-lender was uneasy on
account of expectation. Therefore at noon of the third
day the money-lender went into the temple to spy upon
the councils of the Gods, and to learn in what manner
that gift might arrive. Even as he was making his
prayers, a crack between the stones of the floor gaped, and,
closing, caught him by the heel. Then he heard the
Gods walking in the temple in the darkness of the columns,
and Shiv called to his son Ganesh, saying " Son, what hast
thou done in regard to the lakh of rupees for the mendi
cant ? " And Ganesh woke, for the money-lender heard
the dry rustle of his trunk uncoiling, and he answered,
" Father, one half of the money has been paid, and the
debtor for the other half I hold here fast by the heel."

The child bubbled with laughter. ' And the money
lender paid the mendicant ? ' it said.

' Surely, for he whom the Gods hold by the heel must
pay to the uttermost. The money was paid at evening,
all silver, in great carts, and thus Ganesh did his work.'

286 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Nathu ! Ohe Nathu ! '

A woman was calling in the dusk by the door of the
courtyard.

The child began to wriggle. ' That is my mother/
it said.

'Go then, littlest,' answered Gobind ; 'but stay a
moment.'

He ripped a generous yard from his patchwork-quilt,
put it over the child's shoulders, and the child ran
away.

THE AMIE'S HOMILY

His Koyal Highness Abdur Rahman, Amir of Afghani
stan, G.C.S.L, and trusted ally of Her Imperial Majesty
the Queen of England and Empress of India, is a gentle
man for whom all right-thinking people should have a
profound regard. Like most other rulers, he governs not
as he would but as he can, and the mantle of his autho
rity covers the most turbulent race under the stars. To
the Afghan neither life, property, law, nor kingship are
sacred when his own lusts prompt him to rebel. He is
a thief by instinct, a murderer by heredity and training,
and frankly and bestially immoral by all three. None
the less he has his own crooked notions of honour, and
his character is fascinating to study. On occasion he
will fight without reason given till he is hacked in pieces ;
on other occasions he will refuse to show fight till he is
driven into a corner. Herein he is as unaccountable as
the gray wolf, who is his blood-brother.

And these men His Highness rules by the only
weapon that they understand — the fear of death, which
among some Orientals is the beginning of wisdom. Some
say that the Amir's authority reaches no farther than a
rifle bullet can range ; but as none are quite certain when
their king may be in their midst, and as he alone holds
every one of the threads of Government, his respect is
increased among men. Gholam Hyder, the Commander-

288 LIFE'S HANDICAP

in-chief of the Afghan army, is feared reasonably, for he
can impale ; all Kabul city fears the Governor of Kabul,
who has power of life and death through all the wards ;
but the Amir of Afghanistan, though outlying tribes pre
tend otherwise when his back is turned, is dreaded beyond
chief and governor together. His word is red law ; by
the gust of his passion falls the leaf of man's life, and his
favour is terrible. He has suffered many things, and
been a hunted fugitive before he came to the throne, and
he understands all the classes of his people. By the
custom of the East any man or woman having a com
plaint to make, or an enemy against whom to be avenged,
has the right of speaking face to face with the king at
the daily public audience. This is personal government,
as it was in the days of Harun al Easchid of blessed
memory, whose times exist still and will exist long after
the English have passed away.

The privilege of open speech is of course exercised at
certain personal risk. The king may be pleased, and
raise the speaker to honour for that very bluntness of
speech which three minutes later brings a too imitative
petitioner to the edge of the ever ready blade. And the
people love to have it so, for it is their right.

It happened upon a day in Kabul that the Amir
chose to do his day's work in the Baber Gardens, which
lie a short distance from the city of Kabul. A light
table stood before him, and round the table in the open
air were grouped generals and finance ministers according
to their degree. The Court and the long tail of feudal
chiefs — men of blood, fed and cowed by blood — stood in
an irregular semicircle round the table, and the wind
from the Kabul orchards blew among them. All day
long sweating couriers dashed in with letters from the
outlying districts with rumours of rebellion, intrigue,

THE AMIR'S HOMILY 289

famine, failure of payments, or announcements of treasure
on the road ; and all day long the Amir would read the
dockets, and pass such of these as were less private to
the officials whom they directly concerned, or call up a
waiting chief for a word of explanation. It is well to
speak clearly to the ruler of Afghanistan. Then the grim
head, under the black astrachan cap with the diamond
star in front, would nod gravely, and that chief would
return to his fellows. Once that afternoon a woman clam
oured for divorce against her husband, who was bald, and
the Amir, hearing both sides of the case, bade her pour
curds over the bare scalp, and lick them off, that the hair
might grow again, and she be contented. Here the
Court laughed, and the woman withdrew, cursing her king
under her breath.

But when twilight was falling, and the order of the
Court was a little relaxed, there came before the king, in
custody, a trembling haggard wretch, sore with much
buffeting, but of stout enough build, who had stolen three
rupees — of such small matters does His Highness take

cognisance.

' Why did you steal ? ' said he ; and when the king
asks questions they do themselves service who answer
directly.

'I was poor, and no one gave. Hungry, and there
was no food.'

' Why did you not work ? '

' I could find no work, Protector of the Poor, and I
was starving.'

'You He. You stole for drink, for lust, for idleness,
for anything but hunger, since any man who will may
find work and daily bread.'

The prisoner dropped his eyes. He had attended the
Court before, and he knew the ring of the death -tone.

u

290 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' Any man may get work. Who knows this so well
as I do ? for I too have been hungered — not like you,
bastard scum, but as any honest man may be, by the
turn of Fate and the will of God/

Growing warm, the Amir turned to his nobles all arow
and thrust the hilt of his sabre aside with his elbow.

' You have heard this Son of Lies ? Hear me tell a
true tale. I also was once starved, and tightened my
belt on the sharp belly -pinch. Nor was I alone, for
with me was another, who did not fail me in my evil
days, when I was hunted, before ever I came to this
throne. And wandering like a .houseless dog by Kanda
har, my money melted, melted, melted till ' He

flung out a bare palm before the audience. ' And day
upon day, faint and sick, I went back to that one who
waited, and God knows how we lived, till on a day I took
our best lihaf — silk it was, fine work of Iran, such as no
needle now works, warm, and a coverlet for two, and all
that we had. I brought it to a money-lender in a by-
lane, and I asked for three rupees upon it. He said to
me, who am now the King, "You are a thief. This is
worth three hundred," — " I am no thief," I answered,
" but a prince of good blood, and I am hungry." — " Prince
of wandering beggars," said that money-lender, " I have
no money with me, but go to my house with my clerk
and he will give you two rupees eight annas, for that is
all I will lend." So I went with the clerk to the house,
and we talked on the way, and he gave me the money.
We lived on it till it was spent, and we fared hard. And
then that clerk said, being a young man of a good heart,
"Surely the money-lender will lend yet more on that
lihaf," and he offered me two rupees. These I refused,
saying, " Nay ; but get me some work." And he got
me work, and I, even I, Abdur Eahman, Amir of

THE AMIR'S HOMILY 291

Afghanistan, wrought day by day as a coolie, bearing
burdens, and labouring of my hands, receiving four annas
wage a day for my sweat and backache. But he, this
bastard son of naught, must steal ! For a year and four
months I worked, and none dare say that I lie, for I have
a witness, even that clerk who is now my friend.'

Then there rose in his place among the Sirdars and
the nobles one clad in silk, who folded his hands and
said, ' This is the truth of God, for I, who by the favour
of God and the Amir, am such as you know, was once
clerk to that money-lender.'

There was a pause, and the Amir cried hoarsely to
the prisoner, throwing scorn upon him, till he ended with
the dread ' Dar arid,' which clinches justice.

So they led the thief away, and the whole of him
was seen no more together ; and the Court rustled out of
its silence, whispering, ' Before God and the Prophet, but
this is a man ! '

JEWS IN SHUSHAN

MY newly purchased house furniture was, at the least,
insecure ; the legs parted from the chairs, and the tops
from the tables on the slightest provocation. But such
as it was, it was to be paid for, and Ephraim, agent and
collector for the local auctioneer, waited in the verandah
with the receipt. He was announced by the Mahomedan
servant as ' Ephraim, Yahudi ' — Ephraim the Jew. He
who believes in the Brotherhood of Man should hear my
Elahi Bukhsh grinding the second word through his
white teeth with all the scorn he dare show before his
master. Ephraim was, personally, meek in manner — so
meek indeed that one could not understand how he had
fallen into the profession of bill-collecting. He resembled
an over-fed sheep, and his voice suited his figure. There
was a fixed, unvarying mask of childish wonder upon his
face. If you paid him, he was as one marvelling at your
wealth ; if you sent him away he seemed puzzled at your
hard-heartedness. Never was Jew more unlike his dread
breed.

Ephraim wore list slippers and coats of duster -cloth,
so preposterously patterned that the most brazen of
British Subalterns would have shied from them in fear.
Very slow and deliberate was his speech, and carefully
guarded to give offence to no one. After many weeks,
Ephraim was induced to speak to me of his friends.

JEWS IN SHUSHAN 293

' There be eight of us in Shushan, and we are waiting
till there are ten. Then we shall apply for a synagogue,
and get leave from Calcutta. To-day we have no syna
gogue ; and I, only I, am Priest and Butcher to our people.
I am of the tribe of Judah — I think, but I am not sure.
My father was of the tribe of Judah, and we wish much
to get our synagogue. I shall be a priest of that syna
gogue/

Shushan is a big city in the North of India, counting
its dwellers by the ten thousand ; and these eight of
the Chosen People were shut up in its midst, waiting till
time or chance sent them their full congregation.

Miriam the wife of Ephraim, two little children, an
orphan boy of their people, Ephraim's uncle Jackrael
Israel, a white-haired old man, his wife Hester, a Jew
from Cutch, one Hyem Benjamin, and Ephraim, Priest
and Butcher, made up the list of the Jews in Shushan.
They lived in one house, on the outskirts of the great
city, amid heaps of saltpetre, rotten bricks, herds of kine,
and a fixed pillar of dust caused by the incessant passing
of the beasts to the river to drink. In the evening the
children of the City came to the waste place to fly their
kites, and Ephraim's sons held aloof, watching the sport
from the roof, but never descending to take part in them.
At the back of the house stood a small brick enclosure, in
which Ephraim prepared the daily meat for his people
after the custom of the Jews. Once the rude door of the
square was suddenly smashed open by a struggle from
inside, and showed the meek bill -collector at his work,
nostrils dilated, lips drawn back over his teeth, and his
hands upon a half-maddened sheep. He \vas attired in
strange raiment, having no relation whatever to duster
coats or list slippers, and a knife was in his mouth.
As he struggled with the animal between the walls, the

294 LIFE'S HANDICAP

breath came from him in thick sobs, and the nature of
the man seemed changed. When the ordained slaughter
was ended, he saw that the door was open and shut it
hastily, his hand leaving a red mark on the timber, while
his children from the neighbouring house-top looked down
awe -stricken and open-eyed. A glimpse of Ephraim
busied in one of his religious capacities was no thing
to be desired twice.

Summer came upon Shushan, turning the trodden
waste-ground to iron, and bringing sickness to the city.

'It will not touch us,' said Ephraim confidently.
' Before the winter we shall have our synagogue. My
brother and his wife and children are coming up from
Calcutta, and then I shall be the priest of the synagogue.'

Jackrael Israel, the old man, would crawl out in the
stifling evenings to sit on the rubbish-heap and watch the
corpses being borne down to the river.

' It will not come near us,' said Jackrael Israel
feebly, ' for we are the People of God, and my nephew
will be priest of our synagogue. Let them die.' He
crept back to his house again and barred the door to shut
himself off from the world of the Gentile.

But Miriam, the wife of Ephraim, looked out of the
window at the dead as the biers passed and said that she
was afraid. Ephraim comforted her with hopes of the
synagogue to be, and collected bills as was his custom.

In one night, the two children died and were buried
early in the morning by Ephraim. The deaths never
appeared in the City returns. ' The sorrow is my sorrow,'
said Ephraim ; and this to him seemed a sufficient reason
for setting at naught the sanitary regulations of a large,
flourishing, and remarkably well-governed Empire.

The orphan boy, dependent on the charity of Ephraim
and his wife, could have felt no gratitude, and must have

JEWS IN SHUSHAN 295

been a ruffian. He begged for whatever money his pro
tectors would give him, and with that fled down-country
for his life. A week after the death of her children
Miriam left her bed at night and wandered over the
country to find them ? She heard them crying behind
every bush, or drowning in every pool of water in the
fields, and she begged the cartmen on the Grand Trunk
Eoad not to steal her little ones from her. In the morn
ing the sun rose and beat upon her bare head, and she
turned into the cool wet crops to lie down and never
came back ; though Hyem Benjamin and Ephraim sought
her for two nights.

The look of patient wonder on Ephraim's face deepened,
but he presently found an explanation. ' There are so
few of us here, and these people are so many/ said he,
' that, it may be, our God has forgotten us.'

In the house on the outskirts of the city old Jackrael
Israel and Hester grumbled that there was no one to
wait on them, and that Miriam had been untrue to her
race. Ephraim went out and collected bills, and in the
evenings smoked with Hyem Benjamin till, one dawning,
Hyem Benjamin died, having first paid all his debts to
Ephraim. Jackrael Israel and Hester sat alone in the
empty house all day, and, when Ephraim returned, wept
the easy tears of age till they cried themselves asleep.

A week later Ephraim, staggering under a huge
bundle of clothes and cooking-pots, led the old man and
woman to the railway station, where the bustle and con
fusion made them whimper.

'We are going back to Calcutta/ said Ephraim, to
whose sleeve Hester was clinging. ' There are more of
us there, and here my house is empty.'

He helped Hester into the carriage and, turning back,
said to me, ' I should have been priest of the synagogue

296 LIFE'S HANDICAP

if there had been ten of us. Surely we must have been
forgotten by our God.'

The remnant of the broken colony passed out of the
station on their journey south ; while a Subaltern, turning
over the books on the bookstall, was whistling to himself
' The Ten Little Nigger Boys.'

But the tune sounded as solemn as the Dead March.

It was the dirge of the Jews in Shushan.

THE LIMITATIONS OF PAMBE SEKANG

IF you consider the circumstances of the case, it was the
only thing that he could do. But Pambe Serang has
been hanged by the neck till he is dead, and Nurkeed
is dead also.

Three years ago, when the Elsass-Lothringen steamer
Saarbruck was coaling at Aden and the weather was very
hot indeed, Nurkeed, the big fat Zanzibar stoker who fed
the second right furnace thirty feet down in the hold, got
leave to go ashore. He departed a * Seedee boy/ as they
call the stokers ; he returned the full-blooded Sultan of
Zanzibar — His Highness Sayyid Burgash, with a bottle in
each hand. Then he sat on the fore -hatch grating,
eating salt fish and onions, and singing the songs of a far
country. The food belonged to Pambe, the Serang or
head man of the lascar sailors. He had just cooked it
for himself, turned to borrow some salt, and when he
came back ISTurkeed's dirty black fingers were spading
into the rice.

A serang is a person of importance, far above a stoker,
though the stoker draws better pay. He sets the chorus
of ' Hya ! Hulla ! Hee-ah ! Heh ! ' when the captain's gig
is pulled up to the davits ; he heaves the lead too ; and
sometimes, when all the ship is lazy, he puts on his
whitest muslin and a big red sash, and plays with the
passengers' children on the quarter-deck. Then the

298 LIFE'S HANDICAP

passengers give him money, and he saves it all up
for an orgie at Bombay or Calcutta, or Pulu Penang.

'Ho! you fat black barrel, you're eating my food!'
said Pambe, in the Other Lingua Franca that begins where
the Levant tongue stops, and runs from Port Said east
ward till east is west, and the sealing- brigs of the Kurile
Islands gossip with the strayed Hakodate junks.

'Son of Eblis, monkey -face, dried shark's liver,
pig-man, I am the Sultan Sayyid Burgash, and the
commander of all this ship. Take away your garbage ; '
and Nurkeed thrust the empty pewter rice -plate into
Pambe's hand.

Pambe beat it into a basin over Nurkeed's woolly
head. Nurkeed drew his sheath -knife and stabbed
Pambe in the leg. Pambe drew his sheath-knife ; but
Nurkeed dropped down into the darkness of the hold
and spat through the grating at Pambe, who was staining
the clean fore-deck with his blood.

Only the white moon saw these things ; for the
officers were looking after the coaling, and the passengers
were tossing in their close cabins. ' All right/ said
Pambe — and went forward to tie up his leg — ' we will
settle the account later on.'

He was a Malay born in India : married once in
Burma, where his wife had a cigar -shop on the Shwe-
Dagon road ; once in Singapore, to a Chinese girl ; and
once in Madras, to a Mahomedan woman who sold
fowls. The English sailor cannot, owing to postal and
telegraph facilities, marry as profusely as he used to
do ; but native sailors can, being uninfluenced by the
barbarous inventions of the Western savage. Pambe
was a good husband when he happened to remember
the existence of a wife ; but he was also a very good
Malay ; and it is not wise to offend a Malay, because he

THE LIMITATIONS OF PAMBE" SERANG 299

does not forget anything. Moreover, in Pambe's case
blood had been drawn and food spoiled.

Next morning Nurkeed rose with a blank mind. He
was no longer Sultan of Zanzibar, but a very hot stoker.
So he went on deck and opened his jacket to the morning
breeze, till a sheath -knife came like a flying -fish and
stuck into the woodwork of the cook's galley half an
inch from his right armpit. He ran down below before
his time, trying to remember what he could have said to
the owner of the weapon. At noon, when all the ship's
lascars were feeding, Nurkeed advanced into their midst,
and, being a placid man with a large regard for his own
skin, he opened negotiations, saying, 'Men of the ship,
last night I was drunk, and this morning I know that I
behaved unseemly to some one or another of you. Who
was that man, that I may meet him face to face and say
that I was drunk ? '

Pambe measured the distance to Nurkeed's naked
breast. If he sprang at him he might be tripped up,
and a blind blow at the chest sometimes only means
a gash on the breast-bone. Ribs are difficult to thrust
between unless the subject be asleep. So he said
nothing ; nor did the other lascars. Their faces im
mediately dropped all expression, as is the custom of
the Oriental when there is killing on the carpet or
any chance of trouble. Nurkeed looked long at the
white eyeballs. He was only an African, and could
not read characters. A big sigh — almost a groan —
broke from him, and he went back to the furnaces.
The lascars took up the conversation where he had
interrupted it. They talked of the best methods of
cooking rice.

Nurkeed suffered considerably from lack of fresh
air during the run to Bombay. He only came on

300 LIFE'S HANDICAP

deck to breathe when all the world was about ; and
even then a heavy block once dropped from a derrick
within a foot of his head, and an apparently firm-
lashed grating on which he set his foot, began .to turn
over with the intention of dropping him on the cased
cargo fifteen feet below ; and one insupportable night the
sheath -knife dropped from the fo'c's'le, and this time it
drew blood. So Nurkeed made complaint ; and, when
the Saarbruck reached Bombay, fled and buried himself
among eight hundred thousand people, and did not sign
articles till the ship had been a month gone from the
port. Pambe waited too ; but his Bombay wife grew
clamorous, and he was forced to sign in the Spiclieren
to Hongkong, because he realised that all play and
no work gives Jack a ragged shirt. In the foggy
China seas he thought a great deal of Nurkeed, and,
when Elsass-Lothringen steamers lay in port with the
Spicheren, inquired after him and found he had gone
to England via the Cape, on the Gravdotte. Pambe
came to England on the Worth. The Spiclieren met
her by the Nore Light. Nurkeed was going out with
the Spicheren to the Calicut coast.

'Want to find a friend, my trap -mouthed coal
scuttle ? ' said a gentleman in the mercantile service.
* Nothing easier. Wait at the Nyanza Docks till he
comes. Every one comes to the Nyanza Docks. Wait,
you poor heathen.' The gentleman spoke truth. There
are three great doors in the world where, if you stand
long enough, you shall meet any one you wish. The
head of the Suez Canal is one, but there Death comes
also ; Charing Cross Station is the second — for inland
work ; and the Nyanza Docks is the third. At each of
these places are men and women looking eternally for
those who will surely come. So Pambe waited at

THE LIMITATIONS OF PAMB^ SEKANG 301

the docks. Time was no object to him ; and the wives
could wait, as he did from day to day, week to week, and
month to month, by the Blue Diamond funnels, the Red
Dot smoke-stacks, the Yellow Streaks, and the nameless
dingy gypsies of the sea that loaded and unloaded,
jostled, whistled, and roared in the everlasting fog.
When money failed, a kind gentleman told Pambe
to become a Christian ; and Pambe became one with
great speed, getting his religious teachings between
ship and ship's arrival, and six or seven shillings a
week for distributing tracts to mariners. What the
faith was Pambe did not in the least care ; but he
knew if he said 'Native Ki-lis-ti-an, Sar' to men
with long black coats he might get a few coppers ;
and the tracts were vendible at a little public -house
that sold shag by the ' dottel,' which is even smaller
weight than the 'half -screw,' which is less than the
half-ounce, and a most profitable retail trade.

But after eight months Pambe fell sick with pneu
monia, contracted from long standing still in slush ; and
much against his will he was forced to lie down in his
two-and-sixpenny room raging against Fate.

The kind gentleman sat by his bedside, and grieved
to find that Pambe talked in strange tongues, instead of
listening to good books, and almost seemed to become a
benighted heathen again — till one day he was roused from
semi-stupor by a voice in the street by the dock -head.
' My friend — he/ whispered Pambe. ' Call now — call
Nurkeed. Quick ! God has sent him ! '

' He wanted one of his own race,' said the kind gentle
man ; and, going out, he called ' Nurkeed ! ' at the top of
his voice. An excessively coloured man in a rasping white
shirt and brand-new slops, a shining hat, and a breast
pin, turned round. Many voyages had taught Nurkeed

302 LIFE'S HANDICAP

how to spend his money and made him a citizen of the
world.

' Hi ! Yes I ' said he, when the situation was ex
plained. ' Command him — black nigger — when I was
in the Saarbruck. Ole Pambe, good ole Pambe". Dam
lascar. Show him up, Sar;' and he followed into the
room. One glance told the stoker what the kind
gentleman had overlooked. Pambe was desperately
poor. Nurkeed drove his hands deep into his pockets,
then advanced with clenched fists on the sick, shouting,
<Hya, Pambe. Hya ! Hee-ah ! Hulla ! Heh ! Takilo !
Takilo ! Make fast aft, Pambe. You know, Pambe.
You know me. Dekho, jee ! Look ! Dam big fat lazy
lascar ! '

Pambe beckoned with his left hand. His right
was under his pillow. Nurkeed removed his gorgeous
hat and stooped over Pambe till he could catch a faint
whisper. ' How beautiful ! ' said the kind gentleman.
' How these Orientals love like children ! '

' Spit him out/ said Nurkeed, leaning over Pambe yet
more closely.

'Touching the matter of that fish and onions '

said Pambe — and sent the knife home under the edge of
the rib-bone upwards and forwards.

There was a thick sick cough, and the body of the Afri
can slid slowly from the bed, his clutching hands letting
fall a shower of silver pieces that ran across the room.

' Now I can die ! ' said Pambe.

But he did not die. He was nursed back to life witli
all the skill that money could buy, for the Law wanted
him ; and in the end he grew sufficiently healthy to
be hanged in due and proper form.

Pambe did not care particularly; but it was a sad
blow to the kind gentleman.

LITTLE TOBEAH

' PRISONER'S head did not reach to the top of the dock/
as the English newspapers say. This case, however, was
not reported because nobody cared by so much as a
hempen rope for the life or death of Little Tobrah. The
assessors in the red court-house sat upon him all through
the long hot afternoon, and whenever they asked him a
question he salaamed and whined. Their verdict was
that the evidence was inconclusive, and the Judge con
curred. It was true that the dead body of Little Tobrah's
sister had been found at the bottom of the well, and
Little Tobrah was the only human being within a half
mile radius at the time ; but the child might have fallen
in by accident. Therefore Little Tobrah was acquitted,
and told to go where he pleased. This permission was
not so generous as it sounds, for he had nowhere to go
to, nothing in particular to eat, and nothing whatever to
wear.

He trotted into the court-compound, and sat upon the
well-kerb, wondering whether an unsuccessful dive into
the black water below would end in a forced voyage
across the other Black Water. A groom put down an
emptied nose-bag on the bricks, and Little Tobrah, being
hungry, set himself to scrape out what wet grain the
horse had overlooked.

' 0 Thief — and but newly set free from the terror of

304 LIFE'S HANDICAP

the Law ! Come along ! ' said the groom, and Little Tobrah
was led by the ear to a large and fat Englishman, who
heard the tale of the theft.

' Hah ! ' said the Englishman three times (only he said
a stronger word). ' Put him into the net and take him
home/ So Little Tobrah was thrown into the net of the
cart, and, nothing doubting that he should be stuck like
a pig, was driven to the Englishman's house. ' Hah ! '
said the Englishman as before. ' Wet grain, by Jove !
Feed the little beggar, some of you, and we'll make a
riding-boy of him ! See ? Wet grain, good Lord !

' Give an account of yourself/ said the Head of the
Grooms, to Little Tobrah after the meal had been eaten,
and the servants lay at ease in their quarters behind the
house. ' You are not of the groom caste, unless it be for
the stomach's sake. How came you into the court, and
why ? Answer, little devil's spawn ! '

'There was not enough to eat/ said Little Tobrah
calmly. ' This is a good place/

' Talk straight talk/ said the Head Groom, ' or I will
make you clean out the stable of that large red stallion
who bites like a camel/

' We be Telis, oil-pressers/ said Little Tobrah, scratch
ing his toes in the dust. ' We were Telis — my father,
my mother, my brother, the elder by four years, myself,
and the sister/

' She who was found dead in the well ? ' said one who
had heard something of the trial.

' Even so/ said Little Tobrah gravely. ' She who was
found dead in the well. It befel upon a time, which is
not in my memory, that the sickness came to the village
where our oil-press stood, and first my sister was smitten
as to her eyes, and went without sight, for it was mata —
the smallpox. Thereafter, my father and my mother

LITTLE TOBRAH 305

died of that same sickness, so we were alone — my brother
who had twelve years, I who had eight, and the sister
who could not see. Yet were there the bullock and the
oil-press remaining, and we made shift to press the oil as
before. But Surjun Dass, the grain-seller, cheated us in
his dealings ; and it was always a stubborn bullock to
drive. We put marigold flowers for the Gods upon the
neck of the bullock, and upon the great grinding -beam
that rose through the roof ; but we gained nothing thereby,
and Surjun Dass was a hard man.'

' Bapri-bap} muttered the grooms' wives, ' to cheat a
child so! But we know what the bunnia-fo\k are,
sisters.'

' The press was an old press, and we were not strong
men — my brother and I ; nor could we fix the neck of
the beam firmly in the shackle.'

'Nay, indeed,' said the gorgeously -clad wife of the
Head Groom, joining the circle. ' That is a strong man's
work. When I was a maid in my father's house—

' Peace, woman,' said the Head Groom. ' Go on, boy.'

' It is nothing,' said Little Tobrah. ' The big beam
tore down the roof upon a day which is not in my
memory, and with the roof fell much of the hinder wall,
and both together upon our bullock, whose back was
broken. Thus we had neither home, nor press, nor bul
lock — my brother, myself, and the sister who was blind.
We went crying away from that place, hand -in -hand,
across the fields ; and our money was seven annas and six
pie. There was a famine in the land. I do not know
the name of the land. So, on a night when we were
sleeping, my brother took the five annas that remained
to us and ran away. I do not know whither he went.
The curse of my father be upon him. But I and the
sister begged food in the villages, and there was none to

x

306 LIFE'S HANDICAP

give. Only all men said — " Go to the Englishmen and
they will give." I did not know what the Englishmen
were ; but they said that they were white, living in tents.
I went forward; but I cannot say whither I went, and
there was no more food for myself or the sister. And
upon a hot night, she weeping and calling for food, we
came to a well, and I bade her sit upon the kerb, and
thrust her in, for, in truth, she could not see ; and it is
better to die than to starve.'

' Ai ! Ahi ! ' wailed the grooms' wives in chorus ; ' he
thrust her in, for it is better to die than to starve ! '

'I would have thrown myself in also, but that she
was not dead and called to me from the bottom of the
well, and I was afraid and ran. And one came out of
the crops saying that I had killed her and denied the
well, and they took me before an Englishman, white and
terrible, living in a tent, and me he sent here. But
there were no witnesses, and it is better to die than to
starve. She, furthermore, could not see with her eyes,
and was but a little child.'

'Was but a little child,' echoed the Head Groom's
wife. ' But who art thou, weak as a fowl and small as
a day-old colt, what art thou ? '

' I who was empty am now full,' said Little Tobrah,
stretching himself upon the dust. ' And I would sleep/

The groom's wife spread a cloth over him while Little
Tobrah slept the sleep of the just.

MOTI GUJ— MUTINEER

ONCE upon a time there was a coffee-planter in India
who wished to clear some forest land for coffee-planting.
When he had cut down all the trees and burned the
under-wood the stumps still remained. Dynamite is
expensive and slow-fire slow. The happy medium for
stump-clearing is the lord of all beasts, who is the elephant.
He will either push the stump out of the ground with
his tusks, if he has any, or drag it out with ropes. The
planter, therefore, hired elephants by ones and twos and
threes, and fell to work. The very best of all the
elephants belonged to the very worst of all the drivers or
mahouts ; and the superior beast's name was Moti Guj.
He was the absolute property of his mahout, which would
never have been the case under native rule, for Moti Guj
was a creature to be desired by kings ; and his name,
being translated, meant the Pearl Elephant. Because the
British Government was in the land, Deesa, the mahout,
enjoyed his property undisturbed. He was dissipated.
When he had made much money through the strength of
his elephant, he would get extremely drunk and give
Moti Guj a beating with a tent-peg over the tender nails
of the forefeet. Moti Guj never trampled the life out of
Deesa on these occasions, for he knew that after the
beating was over Deesa would embrace his trunk and
weep and call him his love and his life and the liver of

308 LIFE'S HANDICAP

his soul, and give him some liquor. Moti Guj was very
fond of liquor — arrack for choice, though he would drink
palm-tree toddy if nothing better offered. Then Deesa
would go to sleep between Moti Guj's forefeet, and as
Deesa generally chose the middle of the public road, and
as Moti Guj mounted guard over him and would not
permit horse, foot, or cart to pass by, traffic was congested
till Deesa saw fit to wake'up.

There was no sleeping in the daytime on the planter's
clearing : the wages were too high to risk. Deesa sat on
Moti Guj's neck and gave him orders, while Moti Guj
rooted up the stumps — for he owned a magnificent pair
of tusks ; or pulled at the end of a rope — for he had a
magnificent pair of shoulders, while Deesa kicked him
behind the ears and said he was the king of elephants.
At evening time Moti Guj would wash down his three
hundred pounds' weight of green food with a quart of
arrack, and Deesa would take a share and sing songs
between Moti Guj's legs till it was time to go to bed.
Once a week Deesa led Moti Guj down to the river, and
Moti Guj lay on his side luxuriously in the shallows,
while Deesa went over him with a coir-swab and a brick.
Moti Guj never mistook the pounding blow of the latter
for the smack of the former that warned him to get up
and turn over on the other side. Then Deesa would
look at his feet, and examine his eyes, and turn up the
fringes of his mighty ears in case of sores or budding
ophthalmia. After inspection, the two would 'come
up with a song from the sea/ Moti Guj all black
and shining, waving a torn tree branch twelve feet
long in his trunk, and Deesa knotting up his own long
wet hair.

It was a peaceful, well-paid life till Deesa felt the
return of the desire to drink deep. He wished for an

MOTI GUJ MUTINEER 309

orgie. The little draughts that led nowhere were taking
the manhood out of him.

He went to the planter, and ' My mother's dead/ said
he, weeping.

'She died on the last plantation two months ago; and
she died once before that when you were working for me
last year,' said the planter, who knew something of the
ways of nativedom.

* Then it's my aunt, and she was just the same as a
mother to me,' said Deesa, weeping more than ever.
' She has left eighteen small children entirely without
bread, and it is I who must fill their little stomachs/ said
Deesa, beating his head on the floor.

' Who brought you the news ? ' said the planter.

' The post/ said Deesa.

'There hasn't been a post here for the past week.
Get back to your lines ! '

'A devastating sickness has fallen on my village, and
all my wives are dying/ yelled Deesa, really in tears this
time.

'Call Chihun, who comes from Deesa's village/ said
the planter. ' Chihun, has this man a wife ? '

' He ! ' said Chihun. ' No. Not a woman of our
village would look at him. They'd sooner marry the
elephant.' Chihun snorted. Deesa wept and bellowed.

' You will get into a difficulty in a minute/ said the
planter. ' Go back to your work ! '

'Now I will speak Heaven's truth/ gulped Deesa,
with an inspiration. ' I haven't been drunk for two
months. I desire to depart in order to get properly
drunk afar off and distant from this heavenly plantation.
Thus I shall cause no trouble.'

A flickering smile crossed the planter's face. ' Deesa/
said he, ' you've spoken the truth, and I'd give you leave

310 LIFE'S HANDICAP

on the spot if anything could be done with Moti Guj
while you're away. You know that he will only obey
your orders.'

'May the Light of the Heavens live forty thousand years.
I shall be absent but ten little days. After that, upon
my faith and honour and soul, I return. As to the in
considerable interval, have I the gracious permission of
the Heaven-born to call up Moti Guj ? '

Permission was granted, and, in answer to Deesa's
shrill yell, the lordly tusker swung out of the shade of
a clump of trees where he had been squirting dust over
himself till his master should return.

1 Light of my heart, Protector of the Drunken, Mount
ain of Might, give ear,' said Deesa, standing in front of
him.

Moti Guj gave ear, and saluted with his trunk. ' I
am going away,' said Deesa.

Moti Guj's eyes twinkled. He liked jaunts as well
as his master. One could snatch all manner of nice
things from the roadside then.

' But you, you fubsy old pig, must stay behind and
work.'

The twinkle died out as Moti Guj tried to look
delighted. He hated stump-hauling on the plantation.
It hurt his teeth.

' I shall be gone for ten days, oh Delectable One. Hold
up your near forefoot and I'll impress the fact upon it,
warty toad of a dried mud-puddle.' Deesa took a tent-
peg and banged Moti Guj ten times on the nails. Moti
Guj grunted and shuffled from foot to foot.

' Ten days,' said Deesa, ' you must work and haul and
root trees as Chihun here shall order you. Take up
Chihun and set him on your neck ! ' Moti Guj curled
the tip of his trunk, Chihun put his foot there and was

MOTI GUJ MUTINEER 311

swung on to the neck. Deesa handed Chihun the heavy
ankus, the iron elephant-goad.

Chihun thumped Moti Guj's bald head as a paviour
thumps a kerbstone.

Moti Guj trumpeted.

'Be still, hog of the backwoods. Chihun's your
mahout for ten days. And now bid me good-bye, beast
after mine own heart. Oh, my lord, my king ! Jewel of
all created elephants, lily of the herd, preserve your
honoured health ; be virtuous. Adieu ! '

Moti Guj lapped his trunk round Deesa and swung
him into the air twice. That was his way of bidding
the man good-bye.

' He'll work now,' said Deesa to the planter. ' Have
I leave to go ? '

The planter nodded, and Deesa dived into the woods.
Moti Guj went back to haul stumps.

Chihun was very kind to him, but he felt unhappy
and forlorn notwithstanding. Chihun gave him balls of
spices, and tickled him under the chin, and Chihun's
little baby cooed to him after work was over, and
Chihun's wife called him a darling ; but Moti Guj was a
bachelor by instinct, as Deesa was. He did not under
stand the domestic emotions. He wanted the light of his
universe back again — the drink and the drunken slumber,
the savage beatings and the savage caresses.

None the less he worked well, and the planter
wondered. Deesa had vagabonded along the roads till he
met a marriage procession of his own caste and, drinking,
dancing, and tippling, had drifted past all knowledge of
the lapse of time.

The morning of the eleventh day dawned, and there
returned no Deesa. Moti Guj was loosed from his ropes
for the daily stint. He swung clear, looked round,

312 LIFE'S HANDICAP

shrugged his shoulders, and began to walk away, as one
having business elsewhere.

' Hi ! ho ! Come back you/ shouted Chihun. ' Come
back, and put me on your neck, Misborn Mountain. Ee-
turn, Splendour of the Hillsides. Adornment of all India,
heave to, or I'll bang every toe off your fat forefoot I '

Moti Guj gurgled gently, but did not obey. Chihun
ran after him with a rope and caught him up. Moti Guj
put his ears forward, and Chihun knew what that meant,
though he tried to carry it off with high words.

' None of your nonsense with me,' said he. ' To your
pickets, Devil-son.'

* Hrrump ! ' said Moti Guj, and that was all — that
and the forebent ears.

Moti Guj put his hands in his pockets, chewed a
branch for a toothpick, and strolled about the clearing,
making jest of the other elephants, who had just set to work.

Chihun reported the state of affairs to the planter,
who came out with a dog-whip and cracked it furiously.
Moti Guj paid the white man the compliment of charging
him nearly a quarter of a mile across the clearing and
' Hrrumpjiing ' him into the verandah. Then he stood
outside the house chuckling to himself, and shaking all
over with the fun of it, as an elephant will.

' We'll thrash him,' said the planter. ' He shall have
the finest thrashing that ever elephant received. Give
Kala Nag and Nazim twelve foot of chain apiece, and tell
them to lay on twenty blows.'

Kala Nag — which means Black Snake — and Nazim
were two of the biggest elephants in the lines, and one of
their duties was to administer the graver punishments,
since no man can beat an elephant properly.

They took the whipping -chains and rattled them in
their trunks as they sidled up to Moti Guj, meaning to

MOTI GUJ MUTINEER 313

hustle him between them. Moti Guj had never, in all
his life of thirty-nine years, been whipped, and he did not
intend to open new experiences. So he waited, weaving
his head from right to left, and measuring the precise
spot in Kala Nag's fat side where a blunt tusk would
sink deepest. Kala Nag had no tusks ; the chain was
his badge of authority; but he judged it good to swing
wide of Moti Guj at the last minute, and seem to appear
as if he had brought out the chain for amusement.
Nazim turned round and went home early. He did not
feel fighting -fit that morning, and so Moti Guj was left
standing alone with his ears cocked.

That decided the planter to argue no more, and Moti
Guj rolled back to his inspection of the clearing. An
elephant who will not work, and is not tied up, is not
quite so manageable as an eighty -one ton gun loose in a
heavy sea-way. He slapped old friends on the back and
asked them if the stumps were coming away easily ; he
talked nonsense concerning labour and the inalienable
rights of elephants to a long ' nooning ' ; and, wandering
to and fro, thoroughly demoralised the garden till sun
down, when he returned to his pickets for food.

' If you won't work you shan't eat,' said Chihun
angrily. * You're a wild elephant, and no educated animal
at all. Go back to your jungle/

Chihun's little brown baby, rolling on the floor of the
hut, stretched its fat arms to the huge shadow in the
doorway. Moti Guj knew well that it was the dearest
thing on earth to Chihun. He swung out his trunk with
a fascinating crook at the end, and the brown baby threw
itself shouting upon it. Moti Guj made fast and pulled
up till the brown baby was crowing in the air twelve feet
above his father's head.

' Great Chief ! ' said Chihun. ' Flour cakes of the best,

314 LIFE'S HANDICAP

twelve in number, two feet across, and soaked in rum
shall be yours on the instant, and two hundred pounds'
weight of fresh-cut young sugar-cane therewith. Deign
only to put down safely that insignificant brat who is my
heart and my life to me.'

Moti Guj tucked the brown baby comfortably between
his forefeet, that could have knocked into toothpicks all
Chihun's hut, and waited for his food. He ate it, and the
brown baby crawled away. Moti Guj dozed, and thought
of Deesa. One of many mysteries connected with the
elephant is that his huge body needs less sleep than any
thing else that lives. Four or five hours in the night
suffice — two just before midnight, lying down on one side ;
two just after one o'clock, lying down on the other.
The rest of the silent hours are filled with eating and
fidgeting and long grumbling soliloquies.

At midnight, therefore, Moti Guj strode out of his
pickets, for a thought had come to him that Deesa might
be lying drunk somewhere in the dark forest with none
to look after him. So all that night he chased through
the undergrowth, blowing and trumpeting and shaking
his ears. He went down to the river and blared across
the shallows where Deesa used to wash him, but there
was no answer. He could not find Deesa, but he dis
turbed all the elephants in the lines, and nearly frightened
to death some gipsies in the woods.

At dawn Deesa returned to the plantation. He had
been very drunk indeed, and he expected to fall into
trouble for outstaying his leave. He drew a long breath
when he saw that the bungalow and the plantation were
still uninjured; for he knew something of Moti Guj's
temper ; and reported himself with many lies and salaams.
Moti Guj had gone to his pickets for breakfast. His
night exercise had made him hungry.

MOTI GUJ MUTINEER 315

' Call up your beast/ said the planter, and Deesa
shouted in the mysterious elephant-language, that some
mahouts believe came from China at the birth of the
world, when elephants and not men were masters. Moti
Guj heard and came. Elephants do not gallop. They
move from spots at varying rates of speed. If an ele
phant wished to catch an express train he could not
gallop, but he could catch the train. Thus Moti Guj was
at the planter's door almost before Chihun noticed that
he had left his pickets. He fell into Deesa's arms
trumpeting with joy, and the man and beast wept and
slobbered over each other, and handled each other from
head to heel to see that no harm had befallen.

' Now we will get to work,' said Deesa. ' Lift me up,
my son and my joy.'

Moti Guj swung him up and the two went to the
coffee-clearing to look for irksome stumps.

The planter was too astonished to be very angry.

BUBBLING WELL EOAD

LOOK out on a large scale map the place where the
Chenab river falls into the Indus fifteen miles or so above
the hamlet of Chachuran. Five miles west of Chachuran
lies Bubbling Well Eoad, and the house of the gosain or
priest of Arti-goth. It was the priest who showed me
the road, but it is no thanks to him that I am able to
tell this story.

Five miles west of Chachuran is a patch of the
plumed jungle-grass, that turns over in silver when the
wind blows, from ten to twenty feet high and from three
to four miles square. In the heart of the patch hides the
gosain of Bubbling Well Eoad. The villagers stone him
when he peers into the daylight, although he is a priest,
and lie runs back again as a strayed wolf turns into tall
crops. He is a one-eyed man and carries, burnt between
his brows, the impress of two copper coins. Some say
that he was tortured by a native prince in the old days ;
for he is so old that he must have been capable of
mischief in the days of Eunjit Singh. His most pressing
need at present is a halter, and the care of the British
Government.

These things happened when the jungle -grass was
tall ; and the villagers of Chachuran told me that a
sounder of pig had gone into the Arti-goth patch. To enter
jungle-grass is always an unwise proceeding, but I went,

BUBBLING WELL EOAD 317

partly because I knew nothing of pig-hunting, and partly
because the villagers said that the big boar of the sounder
owned foot long tushes. Therefore I wished to shoot him,
in order to produce the tushes in after years, and say that
I had ridden him down in fair chase. I took a gun and
went into the hot, close patch, believing that it would be
an easy thing to unearth one pig in ten square miles of
jungle. Mr. Wardle, the terrier, went with me because he
believed that I was incapable of existing for an hour
without his advice and countenance. He managed to slip
in and out between the grass clumps, but I had to force
my way, and in twenty minutes was as completely lost as
though I had been in the heart of Central Africa. I did
not notice this at first till I had grown wearied of stumb
ling and pushing through the grass, and Mr. "Wardle was
beginning to sit down very often and hang out his tongue
very far. There was nothing but grass everywhere, and
it was impossible to see two yards in any direction. The
grass stems held the heat exactly as boiler-tubes do.

In half an hour, when I was devoutly wishing that I
had left the big boar alone, I came to a narrow path
which seemed to be a compromise between a native foot
path and a pig-run. It was barely six inches wide, but I
could sidle along it in comfort. The grass was extremely
thick here, and where the path was ill defined it was
necessary to crush into the tussocks either with both
hands before the face, or to back into it, leaving both
hands free to manage the rifle. None the less it was a
path, and valuable because it might lead to a place.

At the end of nearly fifty yards of fair way, just when
I was preparing to back into an unusually stiff tussock, I
missed Mr. Wardle, who for his girth is an unusually
frivolous dog and never keeps to heel. I called him three
times and said aloud, ' Where has the little beast gone

318 LIFE'S HANDICAP

to ? ' Then I stepped backwards several paces, for almost
under my feet a deep voice repeated, 'Where has the
little beast gone ? ' To appreciate an unseen voice
thoroughly you should hear it when you are lost in
stifling jungle grass. I called Mr. Wardle again and the
underground echo assisted me. At that I ceased calling
and listened very attentively, because I thought I heard a
man laughing in a peculiarly offensive manner. The heat
made me sweat, but the laughter made me shake. There
is no earthly need for laughter in high grass. It is
indecent, as well as impolite. The chuckling stopped, and
I took courage and continued to call till I thought that I
had located the echo somewhere behind and below the
tussock into which I was preparing to back just before I
lost Mr. Wardle. I drove my rifle up to the triggers,
between the grass -stems in a downward and forward
direction. Then I waggled it to and fro, but it did not
seem to touch ground on the far side of the tussock as
it should have done. Every time that I grunted with
the exertion of driving a heavy rifle through thick grass,
the grunt was faithfully repeated from below, and when I
stopped to wipe my face the sound of low laughter was
distinct beyond doubting.

I went into the tussock, face first, an inch at a time,
my mouth open and my eyes fine, full, and prominent.
When I had overcome the resistance of the grass I found
that I was looking straight across a black gap in the
ground. That I was actually lying on my chest leaning
over the mouth of a well so deep I could scarcely see the
water in it.

There were things in the water, — black things, — and
the water was as black as pitch with blue scum atop.
The laughing sound came from the noise of a little spring,
spouting half-way down one side of the well. Sometimes

BUBBLING WELL ROAD 319

as the black things circled round, the trickle from the
spring fell upon their tightly-stretched skins, and then
the laughter changed into a sputter of mirth. One thing
turned over on its back, as I watched, and drifted round
and round the circle of the mossy brickwork with a
hand and half an arm held clear of the water in a stiff
and horrible flourish, as though it were a very wearied
guide paid to exhibit the beauties of the place.

I did not spend more than half-an-hour in creeping
round that well and finding the path on the other side.
The remainder of the journey I accomplished by feeling
every foot of ground in front of me, and crawling like a
snail through every tussock. I carried Mr. Wardle in my
arms and he licked my nose. He was not frightened in
the least, nor was I, but we wished to reach open ground
in order to enjoy the view. My knees were loose, and the
apple in my throat refused to slide up and down. The
path on the far side of the well was a very good one,
though boxed in on all sides by grass, and it led me in time
to a priest's hut in the centre of a little clearing. When
that priest saw my very white face coming through the
grass he howled with terror and embraced my boots ; but
when I reached the bedstead set outside his door I sat
down quickly and Mr. Wardle mounted guard over me.
I was not in a condition to take care of myself.

When I awoke I told the priest to lead me into the
open, out of the Arti-goth patch and to walk slowly in
front of me. Mr. Wardle hates natives, and the priest
was more afraid of Mr. Wardle than of me, though we
were both angry. He walked very slowly down a narrow
little path from his hut. That path crossed three paths,
such as the one I had come by in the first instance, and
every one of the three headed towards the Bubbling Well.
Once when we stopped to draw breath, I heard the Well

320 LIFE'S HANDICAP

laughing to itself alone in the thick grass, and only my
need for his services prevented my firing both barrels into
the priest's back.

When we came to the open the priest crashed back
into cover, and I went to the village of Arti-goth for a
drink. It was pleasant to be able to see the horizon all
round, as well as the ground underfoot.

The villagers told me that the patch of grass was full
of devils and ghosts, all in the service of the priest, and
that men and women and children had entered it and had
never returned. They said the priest used their livers for
purposes of witchcraft. When I asked why they had not
told me of this at the outset, they said that they were
afraid they would lose their reward for bringing news of
the pig.

Before I left I did my best to set the patch alight,
but the grass was too green. Some fine summer day, how
ever, if the wind is favourable, a file of old newspapers and a
box of matches will make clear the mystery of Bubbling
Well Eoad.

'THE CITY OF DKEADFUL NIGHT'

THE dense wet heat that hung over the face of land, like
a blanket, prevented all hope of sleep in the first instance.
The cicalas helped the heat ; and the yelling jackals the
cicalas. It was impossible to sit still in the dark, empty,
echoing house and watch the punkah beat the dead air.
So, at ten o'clock of the night, I set my walking-stick on
end in the middle of the garden, and waited to see how
it would fall. It pointed directly down the moon-lit road
that leads to the City of Dreadful Night. The sound of
its fall disturbed a hare. She limped from her form and
ran across to a disused Mahomedan burial-ground, where
the jawless skulls and rough-butted shank-bones, heart
lessly exposed by the July rains, glimmered like mother
o' pearl on the rain-channelled soil. The heated air and
the heavy earth had driven the very dead upward for
coolness' sake. The hare limped on ; snuffed curiously
at a fragment of a smoke-stained lamp-shard, and died
out, in the shadow of a clump of tamarisk trees.

The mat -weaver's hut under the lee of the Hindu
temple was full of sleeping men who lay like sheeted
corpses. Overhead blazed the unwinking eye of the
Moon. Darkness gives at least a false impression of
coolness. It was hard not to believe that the flood
of light from above was warm. Not so hot as the Sun,
but still sickly warm, and heating the heavy air beyond

Y

322 LIFE'S HANDICAP

what was our due. Straight as a bar of polished steel
ran the road to the City of Dreadful Night ; and on
either side of the road lay corpses disposed on beds in
fantastic attitudes — one hundred and seventy bodies
of men. Some shrouded all in white with bound -up
mouths ; some naked and black as ebony in the strong
light ; and one — that lay face upwards with dropped
jaw, far away from the others — silvery white and ashen
gray.

' A leper asleep ; and the remainder wearied coolies,
servants, small shopkeepers, and drivers from the hack
stand hard by. The scene — a main approach to Lahore
city, and the night a warm one in August.' This was all
that there was to be seen ; but by no means all that one
could see. The witchery of the moonlight was every
where ; and the world was horribly changed. The long
line of the naked dead, flanked by the rigid silver statue,
was not pleasant to look upon. It was made up of
men alone. Were the womenkind, then, forced to sleep
in the shelter of the stifling mud -huts as best they
might ? The fretful wail of a child from a low mud-roof
answered the question. Where the children are the
mothers must be also to look after them. They need
care on these sweltering nights. A black little bullet-
head . peeped over the coping, and a thin — a painfully
thin — brown leg was slid over on to the gutter pipe.
There was a sharp clink of glass bracelets ; a woman's
arm showed for an instant above the parapet, twined
itself round the lean little neck, and the child was
dragged back, protesting, to the shelter of the bedstead.
His thin, high-pitched shriek died out in the thick air
almost as soon as it was raised ; for even the children of
the soil found it too hot to weep.

More corpses ; more stretches of moonlit, white road ;

' THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT ' 323

a string of sleeping camels at rest by the wayside ; a
vision of scudding jackals ; ekka- ponies asleep — the
harness still on their backs, and the brass -studded
country carts, winking in the moonlight — and again
more corpses. Wherever a grain cart atilt, a tree
trunk, a sawn log, a couple of bamboos and a few
handfuls of thatch cast a shadow, the ground is covered
with them. They lie — some face downwards, arms
folded, in the dust ; some with clasped hands flung up
above their heads; some curled up dog -wise; some
thrown like limp gunny -bags over the side of the
grain carts ; and some bowed with their brows on their
knees in the full glare of the Moon. It would be a
comfort if they were only given to snoring; but they
are not, and the likeness to corpses is unbroken in all
respects save one. The lean dogs snuff at them and
turn away. Here and there a tiny child lies on his
father's bedstead, and a protecting arm is thrown round
it in every instance. But, for the most part, the children
sleep with their mothers on the housetops. Yellow-skinned
white-toothed pariahs are not to be trusted within reach
of brown bodies.

A stifling hot blast from the mouth of the Delhi
Gate nearly ends my resolution of entering the City
of Dreadful Night at this hour. It is a - com
pound of all evil savours, animal and vegetable, that a
walled city can brew in a day and a night. The tem
perature within the motionless groves of plantain and
orange -trees outside the city walls seems chilly by com
parison. Heaven help all sick persons and young
children within the city to-night! The high house-
walls are still radiating heat savagely, and from obscure
side gullies fetid breezes eddy that ought to poison a
buffalo. But the buffaloes do not heed. A drove of

324 LIFE'S HANDICAP

them are parading the vacant main street ; stopping
now and then to lay their ponderous muzzles against
the closed shutters of a grain-dealer's shop, and to blow
thereon like grampuses.

Then silence follows — the silence that is full of the
night noises of a great city. A stringed instrument of
some kind is just, and only just, audible. High over
head some one throws open a window, and the rattle
of the wood -work echoes down the empty street. On
one of the roofs, a hookah is in full blast ; and the men
are talking softly as the pipe gutters. A little farther
on, the noise of conversation is more distinct. A slit of
light shows itself between the sliding shutters of a shop.
Inside, a stubble-bearded, weary-eyed trader is balancing
his account-books among the bales of cotton prints that
surround him. Three sheeted figures bear him company,
and throw in a remark from time to time. First he
makes an entry, then a remark ; then passes the back of
his hand across his streaming forehead. The heat in the
built-in street is fearful. Inside the shops it must be
almost unendurable. But the work goes on steadily ;
entry, guttural growl, and uplifted hand-stroke succeeding
each other with the precision of clock-work.

A policeman — turbanless and fast asleep — lies across
the road on the way to the Mosque of Wazir Khan. A
bar of moonlight falls across the forehead and eyes of the
sleeper, but he never stirs. It is close upon midnight,
and the heat seems to be increasing. The open square
in front of the Mosque is crowded with corpses ; and a
man must pick his way carefully for fear of treading on
them. The moonlight stripes the Mosque's high front of
coloured enamel work in broad diagonal bands ; and each
separate dreaming pigeon in the niches and corners of the
masonry throws a squab little shadow. Sheeted ghosts

' THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT ' 325

rise up wearily from their pallets, and flit into the dark
depths of the building. Is it possible to climb to the
top of the great Minars, and thence to look down on the
city ? At all events the attempt is worth making, and
the chances are that the door of the staircase will be
unlocked. Unlocked it is ; but a deeply sleeping janitor
lies across the threshold, face turned to the Moon. A
rat dashes out of his turban at the sound of approaching
footsteps. The man grunts, opens his eyes for a minute,
turns round, and goes to sleep again. All the heat
of a decade of fierce Indian summers is stored in the
pitch-black, polished walls of the corkscrew staircase.
Half-way up, there is something alive, warm, and
feathery ; and it snores. Driven from step to step as
it catches the sound of my advance, it nutters to
the top and reveals itself as a yellow-eyed, angry kite.
Dozens of kites are asleep on this and the other Minars,
and on the domes below. There is the shadow of a cool,
or at least a less sultry breeze at this height ; and,
refreshed thereby, turn to look on the City of Dreadful
Night.

Dore might have drawn it ! Zola could describe it —
this spectacle of sleeping thousands in the moonlight and
in the shadow of the Moon. The roof-tops are crammed
with men, women, and children ; and the air is full of
undistinguishable noises. They are restless in the City
of Dreadful Night ; and small wonder. The marvel
is that they can even breathe. If you gaze intently
at the multitude, you can see that they are almost
as uneasy as a daylight crowd; but the tumult is
subdued. Everywhere, in the strong light, you can
watch the sleepers turning to and fro ; shifting their
beds and again resettling them. In the pit-like court
yards of the houses there is the same movement.

326 LIFE'S HANDICAP

The pitiless Moon shows it all. Shows, too, the plains
outside the city, and here and there a hand's-breadth of
the Eavee without the walls. Shows lastly, a splash of
glittering silver on a house-top almost directly below the
mosque Minar. Some poor soul has risen to throw a jar
of water over his fevered body ; the tinkle of the falling
water strikes faintly on the ear. Two or three other
men, in far-off corners of the City of Dreadful Night, follow
his example, and the water flashes like heliographic
signals. A small cloud passes over the face of the Moon,
and the city and its inhabitants — clear drawn in black
and white before — fade into masses of black and
deeper black. Still the unrestful noise continues, the
sigh of a great city overwhelmed with the heat, and of a
people seeking in vain for rest. It is only the lower-
class women who sleep on the house-tops. What must
the torment be in the latticed zenanas, where a few lamps
are still twinkling ? There are footfalls in the court below.
It is the Muezzin — faithful minister ; but he ought to
have been here an hour ago to tell the Faithful that
prayer is better than sleep — the sleep that will not come
to the city.

The Muezzin fumbles for a moment with the door of one
of the Minars, disappears awhile, and a bull-like roar — a
magnificent bass thunder — tells that he has reached the top
of the Minar. They must hear the cry to the banks of the
shrunken Eavee itself! Even across the courtyard it is
almost overpowering. The cloud drifts by and shows him
outlined in black against the sky, hands laid upon his
ears, and broad chest heaving with the play of his lungs —
' Allah ho Akbar ' ; then a pause while another Muezzin
somewhere in the direction of the Golden Temple takes
up the call — ' Allah ho Akbar.' Again and again ; four
times in all ; and from the bedsteads a dozen men have

' THE CITY OF DREADFUL NIGHT ' 327

risen up already. — ' I bear witness that there is no God
but God.' What a splendid cry it is, the proclamation
of the creed that brings men out of their beds by scores
at midnight! Once again he thunders through the same
phrase, shaking with the vehemence of his own voice ; and
then, far and near, the night air rings with ' Mahomed is
the Prophet of God.' It is as though he were flinging
his defiance to the far-off horizon, where the summer
lightning plays and leaps like a bared sword. Every
Muezzin in the city is in full cry, and some men on the
roof-tops are beginning to kneel. A long pause precedes
the last cry, ' La ilaha Illallah,' and the silence closes up
on it, as the ram on the head of a cotton-bale.

The Muezzin stumbles down the dark stairway
grumbling in his beard. He passes the arch of the
entrance and disappears. Then the stifling silence settles
down over the City of Dreadful Night. The kites on the
Minar sleep again, snoring more loudly, the hot breeze
comes up in puffs and lazy eddies, and the Moon slides
down towards the horizon. Seated with both elbows on
the parapet of the tower, one can watch and wonder over
that heat -tortured hive till the dawn. 'How do they
live down there ? What do they think of ? When will
they awake ? ' More tinkling of sluiced water-pots ; faint
jarring of wooden bedsteads moved into or out of the
shadows ; uncouth music of stringed instruments softened
by distance into a plaintive wail, and one low grumble of
far-off thunder. In the courtyard of the mosque the
janitor, who lay across the threshold of the Minar when
I came up, starts wildly in his sleep, throws his hands
above his head, mutters something, and falls back again.
Lulled by the snoring of the kites — they snore like over-
gorged humans — I drop off into an uneasy doze, conscious
that three o'clock has struck, and that there is a slight —

328 LIFE'S HANDICAP

a very slight — coolness in the atmosphere. The city is
absolutely quiet now, but for some vagrant dog's love-
song. Nothing save dead heavy sleep.

Several weeks of darkness pass after this. For the
Moon has gone out. The very dogs are still, and I
watch for the first light of the dawn before making my
way homeward. Again the noise of shuffling feet.
The morning call is about to begin, and my night watch
is over. ' Allah ho Akbar ! Allah ho Akbar ! ' The
east grows gray, and presently saffron ; the dawn wind
comes up as though the Muezzin had summoned it ; and,
as one man, the City of Dreadful Night rises from its
bed and turns its face towards the dawning day. With
return of life comes return of sound. First a low
whisper, then a deep bass hum ; for it must be remem
bered that the entire city is on the housetops. My
eyelids weighed down with the arrears of long deferred
sleep, I escape from the Minar through the courtyard
and out into the square beyond, where the sleepers have
risen, stowed away the bedsteads, and are discussing the
morning hookah. The minute's freshness of the air has
gone, and it is as hot as at first.

' Will the Sahib, out of his kindness, make room ? '
What is it ? Something borne on men's shoulders comes
by in the half-light, and I stand back. A woman's
corpse going down to the burning-ghat, and a bystander
says, * She died at midnight from the heat.' So the city
was of Death as well as Night after all.

GEOEGIE POEGIE

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the girls came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away.

IF you will admit that a man has no right to enter his
drawing-room early in the morning, when the housemaid
is setting things right and clearing away the dust, you
will concede that civilised people who eat out of china
and own card-cases have no right to apply their standard
of right and wrong to an unsettled land. When the
place is made fit for their reception, by those men who
are told off to the work, they can come up, bringing in
their trunks their own society and the Decalogue, and
all the other apparatus. Where the Queen's Law does
not carry, it is irrational to expect an observance of other
and weaker rules. The men who run ahead of the cars
of Decency and Propriety, and make the jungle ways
straight, cannot be judged in the same manner as the
stay-at-home folk of the ranks of the regular Tchin.

Not many months ago the Queen's Law stopped a few
miles north of Thayetmyo on the Irrawaddy. There was
no very strong Public Opinion up to that limit, but it
existed to keep men in order. When the Government
said that the Queen's Law must carry up to Bhamo and
the Chinese border the order was given, and some men

330 LIFE'S HANDICAP

whose desire was to be ever a little in advance of the rush
of Kespectability nocked forward with the troops. These
were the men who could never pass examinations, and
would have been too pronounced in their ideas for the
administration of bureau- worked Provinces. The Supreme
Government stepped in as soon as might be, with codes
and regulations, and all but reduced New Burma to the
dead Indian level ; but there was a short time during
which strong men were necessary and ploughed a field for
themselves.

Among the fore-runners of Civilisation was Georgie
Porgie, reckoned by all who knew him a strong man.
He held an appointment in Lower Burma when the order
came to break the Frontier, and his friends called him
Georgie Porgie because of the singularly Burmese -like
manner in which he sang a song whose first line is some
thing like the words 'Georgie Porgie.' Most men who have
been in Burma will know the song. It means : ' Puff,
puff, puff, puff, great steamboat ! ' Georgie sang it to his
banjo, and his friends shouted with delight, so that you
could hear them far away in the teak-forest.

When he went to Upper Burma he had no special
regard for God or Man, but he knew how to make him
self respected, and to carry out the mixed Military-Civil
duties that fell to most men's share in those months.
He did his office work and entertained, now and again,
the detachments of fever-shaken soldiers who blundered
through his part of the world in search of a flying party
of dacoits. Sometimes he turned out and dressed down
dacoits on his own account; for the country was still
smouldering and would blaze when least expected. He
enjoyed these charivaris, ' but the dacoits were not so
amused. All the officials who came in contact with him
departed with the idea that Georgie Porgie was a valuable

GEORGIE PORGIE 331

person, well able to take care of himself, and, on that
belief, he was left to his own devices.

At the end of a few months he wearied of his solitude,
and cast about for company and refinement. The Queen's
Law had hardly begun to be felt in the country, and
Public Opinion, which is more powerful than the Queen's
Law, had yet to come. Also, there was a custom in the
country which allowed a white man to take to himself a
wife of the Daughters of Heth upon due payment. The
marriage was not quite so binding as is the nikkah
ceremony among Mahomedans, but the wife was very
pleasant.

When all our troops are back from Burma there will
be a proverb in their mouths, ' As thrifty as a Burmese
wife,' and pretty English ladies will wonder what in the
world it means.

The headman of the village next to Georgie Porgie's
post had a fair daughter who had seen Georgie Porgie
and loved him from afar. When news went abroad that
the Englishman with the heavy hand who lived in the
stockade was looking for a housekeeper, the headman
came in and explained that, for five hundred rupees
down, he would entrust his daughter to Georgie Porgie's
keeping, to be maintained in all honour, respect, and com
fort, with pretty dresses, according to the custom of the
country. This thing was done, and Georgie Porgie never
repented it.

He found his rough-and-tumble house put straight
and made comfortable, his hitherto unchecked expenses
cut down by one half, and himself petted and made much
of by his new acquisition, who sat at the head of his
table and sang songs to him and ordered his Madrassee
servants about, and was in every way as sweet and merry
and honest and winning a little woman as the most

332 LIFE'S HANDICAP

exacting of bachelors could have desired. No race, men
say who know, produces such good wives and heads of
households as the Burmese. When the next detachment
tramped by on the war-path the Subaltern in Command
found at Georgie Porgie's table a hostess to be deferential
to, a woman to be treated in every way as one occupying
an assured position. When he gathered his men together
next dawn and replunged into the jungle he thought re
gretfully of the nice little dinner and the pretty face, and
envied Georgie Porgie from the bottom of his heart. Yet
he was engaged to a girl at Home, and that is how some
men are constructed.

The Burmese girl's name was not a pretty one ; but as
she was promptly christened Georgina by Georgie Porgie,
the blemish did not matter. Georgie Porgie thought well
of the petting and the general comfort, and vowed that
he had never spent five hundred rupees to a better end.

After three months of domestic life, a great idea
struck him. Matrimony — English matrimony — could not
be such a bad thing after all. If he were so thoroughly
comfortable at the Back of Beyond with this Burmese
girl who smoked cheroots, how much more comfortable
would he be with a sweet English maiden who would not
smoke cheroots, and would play upon a piano instead of
a banjo ? Also he had a desire to return to his kind, to
hear a Band once more, and to feel how it felt to wear a
dress-suit again. Decidedly, Matrimony would be a very
good thing. He thought the matter out at length of
evenings, while Georgina sang to him, or asked him why
he was so silent, and whether she had done anything to
offend him. As he thought, he smoked, and as he smoked
he looked at Georgina, and in his fancy turned her into
a fair, thrifty, amusing, merry, little English girl, with
hair coming low down on her forehead, and perhaps a

GEORGIE FOR GTE 333

cigarette between her lips. Certainly, not a big, thick,
Burma cheroot, of the brand that Georgina smoked. He
would wed a girl with Georgina's eyes and most of her
ways. But not all. She could be improved upon.
Then he blew thick smoke-wreaths through his nostrils
and stretched himself. He would taste marriage. Geor
gina had helped him to save money, and there were six
months' leave due to him.

' See here, little woman,' he said, ' we must put by
more money for these next three months. I want it.'
That was a direct slur on Georgina's housekeeping ; for she
prided herself on her thrift ; but since her God wanted
money she would do her best.

' You want money ? ' she said with a little laugh. ' I
have money. Look ! ' She ran to her own room and
fetched out a small bag of rupees. ' Of all that you give
me, I keep back some. See ! One hundred and seven
rupees. Can you want more money than that ? Take
it. It is my pleasure if you use it.' She spread out the
money on the table and pushed it towards him, with her
quick, little, pale yellow fingers.

Georgie Porgie never referred to economy in the house
hold again.

Three months later, after the dispatch and receipt of
several mysterious letters which Georgina could not
understand, and hated for that reason, Georgie Porgie
said that he was going away, and she must return to her
father's house and stay there.

Georgina wept. She would go with her God from the
world's end to the world's end. Why should she leave
him ? She loved him.

' I am only going to Rangoon/ said Georgie Porgie.
' I shall be back in a month, but it is safer to stay with
your father. I will leave you two hundred rupees.'

334 LIFE'S HANDICAP

' If you go for a month, what need of two hundred ?
Fifty are more than enough. There is some evil here.
Do not go, or at least let me go with you.'

Georgie Porgie does not like to remember that scene
even at this date. In the end he got rid of Georgina by
a compromise of seventy-five rupees. She would not take
more. Then he went by steamer and rail to Eangoon.

The mysterious letters had granted him six months'
leave. The actual flight and an idea that he might have
been treacherous hurt severely at the time, but as soon as
the big steamer was well out into the blue, things were
easier, and Georgina's face, and the queer little stockaded
house, and the memory of the rushes of shouting dacoits
by night, the cry and struggle of the first man that he had
ever killed with his own hand, and a hundred other more
intimate things, faded and faded out of Georgie Porgie's
heart, and the vision of approaching England took its
place. The steamer was full of men on leave, all ram
pantly jovial souls who had shaken off the dust and sweat
of Upper Burma and were as merry as schoolboys. They
helped Georgie Porgie to forget.

Then came England with its luxuries and decencies
and comforts, and Georgie Porgie walked in a pleasant
dream upon pavements of which he had nearly forgotten
the ring, wondering why men in their senses ever left
Town. He accepted his keen delight in his furlough as the
reward of his services. Providence further arranged for him
another and greater delight — all the pleasures of a quiet
English wooing, quite different from the brazen businesses
of the East, when half the community stand back and
bet on the result, and the other half wonder what Mrs.
So-aiid-So will say to it.

It was a pleasant girl and a perfect summer, and a big
country-house near Petworth where there are acres and

GEORGIE PORGIE 335

acres of purple heather and high-grassed water-meadows
to wander through. Georgie Porgie felt that he had at
last found something worth the living for, and naturally
assumed that the next thing to do was to ask the girl to
share his life in India. She, in her ignorance, was willing
to go. On this occasion there was no bartering with a
village headman. There was a fine middle-class wedding
in the country, with a stout Papa and a weeping Mamma,
and a best -man in purple and fine linen, and six snub-
nosed girls from the Sunday School to throw roses on the
path between the tombstones up to the Church door.
The local paper described the affair at great length, even
down to giving the hymns in full. But that was because
the Direction were starving for want of material.

Then came a honeymoon at Arundel, and the Mamma
wept copiously before she allowed her one daughter to
sail away to India under the care of Georgie Porgie the
Bridegroom. Beyond any question, Georgie Porgie was
immensely fond of his wife, and she was devoted to him
as the best and greatest man in the world. When he re
ported himself at Bombay he felt justified in demanding
a good station for his wife's sake ; and, because he had
made a little mark in Burma and was beginning to be
appreciated, they allowed him nearly all that he asked
for, and posted him to a station which we will call
Sutrain. It stood upon several hills, and was styled
officially a ' Sanitarium,' for the good reason that the
drainage was utterly neglected. Here Georgie Porgie
settled down, and found married life come very naturally
to him. He did not rave, as do many bridegrooms, over
the strangeness and delight of seeing his own true love
sitting down to breakfast with him every morning ' as
though it were the most natural thing in the world.'
' He had been there before/ as the Americans say, and,

336 LIFE'S HANDICAP

checking the merits of his own present Grace by those of
Georgina, he was more and more inclined to think that
he had done well.

But there was no peace or comfort across the Bay of
Bengal, under the teak-trees where Georgina lived with
her father, waiting for Georgie Porgie to return. The
headman was old, and remembered the war of '51. He
had been to Eangoon, and knew something of the ways of
the Kullahs. Sitting in front of his door in the evenings,
he taught Georgina a dry philosophy which did not con
sole her in the least.

The trouble was that she loved Georgie Porgie just as
much as the French girl in the English History books
loved the priest whose head was broken by the King's
bullies. One day she disappeared from the village, with
all the rupees that Georgie Porgie had given her, and a
very small smattering of English — also gained from
Georgie Porgie.

The headman was angry at first, but lit a fresh
cheroot and said something uncomplimentary about the
sex in general. Georgina had started on a search for
Georgie Porgie, who might be in Eangoon, or across the
Black Water, or dead, for aught that she knew. Chance
favoured her. An old Sikh policeman told her that
Georgie Porgie had crossed the Black Water. She took a
steerage -passage from Eangoon and went to Calcutta;
keeping the secret of her search to herself.

In India every trace of her was lost for six weeks,
and no one knows what trouble of heart she must have
undergone.

She reappeared, four hundred miles north of Calcutta,
steadily heading northwards, very worn and haggard, but
very fixed in her determination to find Georgie Porgie.
She could not understand the language of the people ;

GEORGIE PORGIE 337

but India is infinitely charitable, and the women -folk
along the Grand Trunk gave her food. Something made
her believe that Georgie Porgie was to be found at the
end of that pitiless road. She may have seen a sepoy who
knew him in Burma, but of this no one can be certain.
At last, she found a regiment on the line of march, and
met there one of the many subalterns whom Georgie
Porgie had invited to dinner in the far off, old days of the
dacoit-hunting. There was a certain amount of amuse
ment among the tents when Georgina threw herself at the
man's feet and began to cry. There was no amusement
when her story was told ; but a collection was made, and
that was more to the point. One of the subalterns knew
of Georgie Porgie's whereabouts, but not of his marriage.
So he told Georgina and she went her way joyfully to the
north, in a railway carriage where there was rest for tired
feet and shade for a dusty little head. The marches
from the train through the hills into Sutrain were trying,
but Georgina had money, and families journeying in
bullock-carts gave her help. It was an almost miraculous
journey, and Georgina felt sure that the good spirits of
Burma were looking after her. The hill-road to Sutrain
is a chilly stretch, and Georgina caught a bad cold. Still
there was Georgie Porgie at the end of all the trouble to
take her up in his arms and pet her, as he used to do in
the old days when the stockade was shut for the night and
he had approved of the evening meal. Georgina went
forward as fast as she could ; and her good spirits did her
one last favour.

An Englishman stopped her, in the twilight, just at
the turn of the road into Sutrain, saying, ' Good Heavens !
What are you doing here ? '

He was Gillis, the man who had been Georgie Porgie's
assistant in Upper Burma, and who occupied the next

z

338 LIFE'S HANDICAP

post to Georgie Porgie's in the jungle. Georgie Porgie
had applied to have him to work with at Sutrain because
he liked him.

' I have come/ said Georgina simply. ' It was such a
long way, and I have been months in coming. Where is
his house ? '

Gillis gasped. He had seen enough of Georgina in
the old times to know that explanations would be useless.
You cannot explain things to the Oriental. You must
show.

' I'll take you there/ said Gillis, and he led Georgina
off the road, up the cliff, by a little pathway, to the back
of a house set on a platform cut into the hillside.

The lamps were just lit, but the curtains were not
drawn. ' Now look/ said Gillis, stopping in front of the
drawing-room window. Georgina looked and saw Georgie
Porgie and the Bride.

She put her hand up to her hair, which had come
out of its top -knot and was straggling about her face.
She tried to set her ragged dress in order, but the dress
was past pulling straight, and she coughed a queer little
cough, for she really had taken a very bad cold. Gillis
looked, too, but while Georgina only looked at the Bride
once, turning her eyes always on Georgie Porgie, Gillis
looked at the Bride all the time.

' What are you going to do ? ' said Gillis, who held
Georgina by the wrist, in case of any unexpected rush into
the lamplight. 'Will you go in and tell that English
woman that you lived with her husband ? '

' No/ said Georgina faintly. ' Let me go. I am going
away. I swear that I am going away.' She twisted her
self free and ran off into the dark.

' Poor little beast ! ' said Gillis, dropping on to the main
road. ' I'd ha' given her something to get back to Burma

GEORGIE PORGIE 339

with. What a narrow shave though ! And that angel
would never have forgiven it.'

This seems to prove that the devotion of Gillis was
not entirely due to his affection for Georgie Porgie.

The Bride and the Bridegroom came out into the
verandah after dinner, in order that the smoke of Georgie
Porgie's cheroots might not hang in the new drawing-room
curtains.

' What is that noise down there ? ' said the Bride.
Both listened.

' Oh/ said Georgie Porgie ' I suppose some brute of a
hillman has been beating his wife/

' Beating — his — wife ! How ghastly ! ' said the Bride.
' Fancy your beating me ! ' She slipped an arm round
her husband's waist, and, leaning her head against his
shoulder, looked out across the cloud-filled valley in deep
content and security.

But it was Georgina crying, all by herself, down the
hillside, among the stones of the water-course where the
washermen wash the clothes.

NABOTH

THIS was how it happened; and the truth is also an
allegory of Empire.

I met him at the corner of my garden, an empty
basket on his head, and an unclean cloth round his loins.
That was all the property to which Naboth had the
shadow of a claim when I first saw him. He opened
our acquaintance by begging. He was very thin and
showed nearly as many ribs as his basket ; and he told
me a long story about fever and a lawsuit, and an iron
cauldron that had been seized by the court in execution
of a decree. I put my hand into my pocket to help
Naboth, as kings of the East have helped alien adven
turers to the loss of their kingdoms. A rupee had
hidden in my waistcoat lining. I never knew it was
there, and gave the trove to Naboth as a direct gift from
Heaven, He replied that I was the only legitimate
Protector of the Poor he had ever known.

Next morning he reappeared, a little fatter in the
round, and curled himself into knots in the front ver
andah. He said I was his father and his mother, and
the direct descendant of all the gods in his Pantheon,
besides controlling the destinies of the universe. He
himself was but a sweetmeat -seller, and much less
important than the dirt under my feet. I had heard
this sort of thing before, so I asked him what he wanted.

NABOTH 341

My rupee, quoth Naboth, had raised him to the ever
lasting heavens, and he wished to prefer a request. He
wished to establish a sweetmeat-pitch near the house of
his benefactor, to gaze on my revered countenance as I
went to and fro illumining the world. I was graciously
pleased to give permission, and he went away with his
head between his knees.

Now at the far end of my garden, the ground slopes
toward the public road, and the slope is crowned with a
thick shrubbery. There is a short carriage-road from the
house to the Mall, which passes close to the shrubbery.
Next afternoon I saw that Naboth had seated himself at
the bottom of the slope, down in the dust of the public
road, and in the full glare of the sun, with a starved
basket of greasy sweets in front of him. He had gone
into trade once more on the strength of my munificent
donation, and the ground was as Paradise by my honoured
favour. Eemember, there was only Naboth, his basket,
the sunshine, and the gray dust when the sap of my
Empire first began.

Next day he had moved himself up the slope nearer
to my shrubbery, and waved a palm-leaf fan to keep the
flies off the sweets. So I judged that he must have done
a fair trade.

Four days later I noticed that he had backed himself
and his basket under the shadow of the shrubbery, and
had tied an Isabella-coloured rag between two branches
in order to make more shade. There were plenty of
sweets in his basket. I thought that trade must certainly
be looking up.

Seven weeks later the Government took up a plot of
ground for a Chief Court close to the end of my com
pound, and employed nearly four hundred coolies on the
foundations. Naboth bought a blue and white striped

342 LIFE'S HANDICAP

blanket, a brass lamp -stand, and a small boy, to cope
with the rush of trade, which was tremendous.

Five days later he bought a huge, fat, red -backed
account -book, and a glass inkstand. Thus I saw that
the coolies had been getting into his debt, and that com
merce was increasing on legitimate lines of credit. Also
I saw that the one basket had grown into three, and that
Naboth had backed and hacked into the shrubbery, and
made himself a nice little clearing for the proper display
of the basket, the blanket, the books, and the boy.

One week and five days later he had built a mud fire
place in the clearing, and the fat account-book was over
flowing. He said that God created few Englishmen of
my kind, and that I was the incarnation of all human
virtues. He offered me some of his sweets as tribute,
and by accepting these I acknowledged him as my feuda
tory under the skirt of my protection.

Three weeks later I noticed that the boy was in the
habit of cooking Naboth's mid-day meal for him, and
Naboth was beginning to grow a stomach. He had
hacked away more of my shrubbery, and owned another
and a fatter account- book.

Eleven weeks later Naboth had eaten his way nearly
through that shrubbery, and there was a reed hut with a
bedstead outside it, standing in the little glade that he
had eroded. Two dogs and a baby slept on the bedstead.
So I fancied Naboth had taken a wife. He said that he
had, by my favour, done this thing, and that I was
several times finer than Krishna.

Six weeks and two days later a mud wall had grown
up at the back of the hut. There were fowls in front
and it smelt a little. The Municipal Secretary said that
a cess -pool was forming in the public road from the
drainage of my compound, and that I must take steps to

NABOTH 343

clear it away. I spoke to Naboth. He said I was Lord
Paramount of his earthly concerns, and the garden was
all my own property, and sent me some more sweets in a
second-hand duster.

Two months later a coolie bricklayer was killed in a
scuffle that took place opposite Naboth's Vineyard. The
Inspector of Police said it was a serious case ; went into
my servants' quarters; insulted my butler's wife, and
wanted to arrest my butler. The curious thing about
the murder was that most of the coolies were drunk at
the time. Naboth pointed out that my name was a strong
shield between him and his enemies, and he expected that
another baby would be born to him shortly.

Four months later the hut was all mud walls, very
solidly built, and Naboth had used most of my shrubbery for
his five goats. A silver watch and an aluminium chain
shone upon his very round stomach. My servants were
alarmingly drunk several times, and used to waste the
day with Naboth when they got the chance. I spoke to
Naboth. He said, by my favour and the glory of my
countenance, he would make all his women-folk ladies,
and that if any one hinted that he was running an illicit
still under the shadow of the tamarisks, why, I, his
Suzerain, was to prosecute.

A week later he hired a man to make several dozen
square yards of trellis-work to put round the back of his
hut, that his women-folk might be screened from the
public gaze. The man went away in the evening, and
left his day's work to pave the short cut from the public
road to my house. I was driving home in the dusk, and
turned the corner by Naboth's Vineyard quickly. The
next thing I knew was that the horses of the phaeton
were stamping and plunging in the strongest sort of
bamboo net-work. Both beasts came down. One rose

344 LIFE'S HANDICAP

with nothing more than chipped knees. The other was
so badly kicked that I was forced to shoot him.

Naboth is gone now, and his hut is ploughed into its
native mud with sweetmeats instead of salt for a sign
that the place is accursed. I have built a summer-house
to overlook the end of the garden, and it is as a fort on
my frontier whence I guard my Empire.

I know exactly how Ahab felt. He has been shame
fully misrepresented in the Scriptures.

THE DKEAM OF DUNCAN PAKKENNESS

LIKE Mr. Bunyan of old, I, Duncan Barrenness, Writer
to the Most Honourable the East India Company, in this
God-forgotten city of Calcutta, have dreamed a dream,
and never since that Kitty my mare fell lame have 1
been so troubled. Therefore, lest I should forget my
dream, I have made shift to set it down here. Though
Heaven knows how unhandy the pen is to me who was
always readier with sword than ink-horn when I left
London two long years since.

When the Governor -General's great dance (that he
gives yearly at the latter end of November) was finisht,
I had gone to mine own room which looks over that
sullen, un-English stream, the Hoogly, scarce so sober as
I might have been. Now, roaring drunk in the West is
but fuddled in the East, and I was drunk Nor' -Nor'
Easterly as Mr. Shakespeare might have said. Yet, in
spite of my liquor, the cool night winds (though I have
heard that they breed chills and fluxes innumerable)
sobered me somewhat ; and I remembered that I had
been but a little wrung and "wasted by all the sicknesses
of the past four months, whereas those young bloods that
came eastward with me in the same ship had been all, a
month back, planted to Eternity in the foul soil north of
Writers' Buildings. So then, I thanked God mistily
(though, to my shame, I never kneeled down to do so) for

346 LIFE'S HANDICAP

\

license to live, at least till March should be upon us again.
Indeed, we that were alive (and our number was less by
far than those who had gone to their last account in the
hot weather late past) had made very merry that evening,
by the ramparts of the Fort, over this kindness of Provi
dence ; though our. jests were neither witty nor such as
I should have liked my Mother to hear.

When I had lain down (or rather thrown me on my
bed) and the fumes of my drink had a little cleared away,
I found that I could get no sleep for thinking of a thousand
things that were better left alone. First, and it was a
long time since I had thought of her, the sweet face of
Kitty Somerset, drifted, as it might have been drawn in
a picture, across the foot of my bed, so plainly, that I
almost thought she had been present in the body. Then
I remembered how she drove me to this accursed country
to get rich, that I might the more quickly marry her, our
parents on both sides giving their consent ; and then how
she thought better (or worse may be) of her troth, and
wed Tom Sanderson but a short three months after I had
sailed. From Kitty I fell a musing on Mrs. Vansuythen,
a tall pale woman with violet eyes that had come to Cal
cutta from the Dutch Factory at Chinsura, and had set
all our young men, and not a few of the factors, by the
ears. Some of our ladies, it is true, said that she had
never a husband or marriage-lines at all ; but women,
and specially those who have led only indifferent good
lives themselves, are cruel hard one on another. Besides,
Mrs. Vansuythen was far prettier than them all. She
had been most gracious to me at the Governor-General's
rout, and indeed I was looked upon by all as her preux
chevalier — which is French for a much worse word. Now,
whether I cared so much as the scratch of a pin for this same
Mrs. Vansuythen (albeit I had vowed eternal love three

THE DREAM OF DUNCAN BARRENNESS 347

days after we met) I knew not then nor did till later on ;
but mine own pride, and a skill in the small sword that
no man in Calcutta could equal, kept me in her affections.
So that I believed I worshipt her.

When I had dismist her violet eyes from my thoughts,
my reason reproacht me for ever having followed her at
all ; and I saw how the one year that I had lived in this
land had so burnt and seared my mind with the flames
of a thousand bad passions and desires, that I had aged
ten months for each one in the Devil's school. Whereat
I thought of my Mother for a while, and was very
penitent : making in my sinful tipsy mood a thousand
vows of reformation — all since broken, I fear me, again
and again. To-morrow, says I to myself, I will live cleanly
for ever. And I smiled dizzily (the liquor being still
strong in me) to think of the dangers I had escaped ; and
built all manner of fine Castles in Spain, whereof a
shadowy Kitty Somerset that had the violet eyes and the
sweet slow speech of Mrs. Vansuythen, was always Queen.

Lastly, a very fine and magnificent courage (that
doubtless had its birth in Mr. Hastings' Madeira) grew
upon me, till it seemed that I could become Governor-
General, Nawab, Prince, ay, even the Great Mogul him
self, by the mere wishing of it. Wherefore, taking my
first steps, random and unstable enough, towards my new
kingdom, I kickt my servants sleeping without till they
howled and ran from me, and called Heaven and Earth
to witness that I, Duncan Barrenness, was a Writer in
the service of the Company and afraid of no man. Then,
seeing that neither the Moon nor the Great Bear were
minded to accept my challenge, I lay down again and
must have fallen asleep.

I was waked presently by my last words repeated two
or three times, and I saw that there had come into the

348 LIFE'S HANDICAP

room a drunken man, as I thought, from Mr. Hastings'
rout. He sate down at the foot of my bed in all the
world as it belonged to him, and I took note, as well as
I could, that his face was somewhat like mine own grown
older, save when it changed to the face of the Governor-
General or my father, dead these six months. But this
seemed to me only natural, and the due result of too much
wine ; and I was so angered at his entry all unannounced,
that I told him, not over civilly, to go. To all my words he
made no answer whatever, only saying slowly, as though
it were some sweet morsel : ' Writer in the Company's
service and afraid of no man.' Then he stops short,
and turning round sharp upon me, says that one of my
kidney need fear neither man nor devil ; that I was a
brave young man, and like enough, should I live so long,
to be Governor- General. But for all these things (and I
supposed that he meant thereby the changes and chances
of our shifty life in these parts) I must pay my price.
By this time I had sobered somewhat, and being well
waked out of my first sleep, was disposed to look upon
the matter as a tipsy man's jest. So, says I merrily : ' And
what price shall I pay for this palace of mine, which is
but twelve feet square, and my five poor pagodas a month ?
The Devil take you and your jesting : I have paid my
price twice over in sickness.' At that moment my man
turns full toward me : so that by the moonlight I could see
every line and wrinkle of his face. Then my drunken
mirth died out of me, as I have seen the waters of our
great rivers die away in one night ; and I, Duncan Par-
renness, who was afraid of no man, was taken with a
more deadly terror than I hold it has ever been the lot
of mortal man to know. For I saw that his face was
my very own, but marked and lined and scarred with the
furrows of disease and much evil living — as I once, when

THE DREAM OF DUNCAN PARRENNESS 349

I was (Lord help me) very drunk indeed, have seen mine
own face, all white and drawn and grown old, in a mirror.
I take it that any man would have been even more
greatly feared than I. For I am in no way wanting in

courage.

After I had lain still for a little, sweating in my agony
and waiting until I should awake from this terrible dream
(for dream I knew it to be) he says again, that I must pay
my price : and a little after, as though it were to be given
in pagodas and sicca rupees : ' What price will you pay ? '
Says I, very softly : ' For God's sake let me be, whoever
you are, and I will mend my ways from to-night/ Says
he, laughing a little at my words, but otherwise making
no motion of having heard them ; ' Nay, I would only rid
so brave a young ruffler as yourself of much that will
be a great hindrance to you on your way through life in
the Indies ; for believe me/ and here he looks full on
me once more, ' there is no return/ At all this rigmarole,
which I could not then understand, I was a good deal
put aback and waited for what should come next. Says
he very calmly : ' Give me your trust in man/ At that I
saw how heavy would be my price, for I never doubted
but that he could take from me all that he asked, and my
head was, through terror and wakefulness, altogether
cleared of the wine I had drunk. So I takes him up
very short, crying that I was not so wholly bad as he
would make believe, and that I trusted my fellows to the
full as much as they were worthy of it. ' It was none of
my fault/ says I, ' if one half of them were liars and the
other half deserved to be burnt in the hand, and I would
once more ask him to have done with his questions/
Then I stopped, a little afraid, it is true, to have let my
tongue so run away with me, but he took no notice of
this, and only laid his hand lightly on my left breast and

350 LIFE'S HANDICAP

I felt very cold there for a while. Then he says, laughing
more : ' Give me your faith in women.' At that I started
in my bed as though I had been stung, for I thought of
my sweet mother in England, and for a while fancied that
my faith in God's best creatures could neither be shaken
nor stolen from me. But later, Myself's hard eyes being
upon me, I fell to thinking, for the second time that
night, of Kitty (she that jilted me and married Tom
Sanderson) and of Mistress Vansuythen, whom only my
devilish pride made me follow, and how she was even worse
than Kitty, and I worst of them all — seeing that with my
life's work to be done, I must needs go dancing down the
Devil's swept and garnished causeway, because, forsooth,
there was a light woman's smile at the end of it. And I
thought that all women in the world were either like
Kitty or Mistress Yansuythen (as indeed they have ever
since been to me) and this put me to such an extremity
of rage and sorrow, that I was beyond word glad when
Myself's hand fell again on my left breast, and I was no
more troubled by these follies.

After this he was silent for a little, and I made sure
that he must go or I awake ere long : but presently he
speaks again (and very softly) that I was a fool to care
for such follies as those he had taken from me, and that
ere he went he would only ask me for a few other trifles
such as no man, or for matter of that boy either, would
keep about him in this country. And so it happened
that he took from out of my very heart as it were,
looking all the time into my face with my own eyes, as
much as remained to me of my boy's soul and conscience.
This was to me a far more terrible loss than the two that
I had suffered before. For though, Lord help me, I had
travelled far enough from all paths of decent or godly
living, yet there was in me, though I myself write it, a

THE DREAM OF DUNCAN BARRENNESS 351

certain goodness of heart which, when I was sober (or
sick) made me very sorry of all that I had done before
the fit came on me. And this I lost wholly : having in
place thereof another deadly coldness at the heart. I am
not, as I have before said, ready with my pen, so I fear
that what I have just written may not be readily under
stood. Yet there be certain times in a young man's life,
when, through great sorrow or sin, all the boy in him is
burnt and seared away so that he passes at one step to the
more sorrowful state of manhood : as our staring Indian
day changes into night with never so much as the gray of
twilight to temper the two extremes. This shall perhaps
make my state more clear, if it be remembered that my
torment was ten times as great as comes in the natural
course of nature to any man. At that time I dared not
think of the change that had come over me, and all in
one night : though I have often thought of it since. ' I
have paid the price,' says I, my teeth chattering, for I was
deadly cold, ' and what is my return ? ' At this time it
was nearly dawn, and Myself had begun to grow pale
and thin against the white light in the east, as my mother
used to tell me is the custom of ghosts and devils and
the like. He made as if he would go, but my words
stopt him and he laughed — as I remember that I laughed
when I ran Angus Macalister through the sword-arm last
August, because he said that Mrs. Vansuythen was no
better than she should be. ' What return ? ' — says he,
catching up my last words — ' Why, strength to live as long
as God or the Devil pleases, and so long as you live my
young master, my gift.' With that he puts something into
my hand, though it was still too dark to see what it was,
and when next I lookt up he was gone.

When the light came I made shift to behold his gift,
and saw that it was a little piece of dry bread.

VENVOI

MY new-cut ashlar takes the light

Where crimson-blank the windows flare ;

By my own work, before the night,
Great Overseer I make my prayer.

If there be good in that I wrought,

Thy hand compelled it, Master, Thine ;

Where I have failed to meet Thy thought
I know, through Thee, the blame is mine.

One instant's toil to Thee denied

Stands all Eternity's offence,
Of that I did with Thee to guide

To Thee, through Thee, be excellence.

WJio, lest all thought of Eden fade,
Bring'st Eden to the craftsman's brain,

Godlike to muse o'er his own trade
And Manlike stand with God again.

The depth and dream of my desire,
The bitter paths wherein I stray,

Thou Jcnowest Who hast made the Fire,
Thou knowest Who hast made the Glay.

One stone the more swings to her place
In that dread Temple of Thy Worth —

It is enough that through Thy grace
I saw naught common on Thy earth.

Take not that vision from my ken;

Oh whatsoe'er may spoil or speed,
Help me to need no aid from 'men

That I may help such men as need !

September, 1891.

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16

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PAGE

ABBEY (E. A.) . . .37
ABBOT (F. E.) . . . 33
ABBOTT(Rev. E.) 3,13,30,3^,33
ACLAND (Sir H. W.). . 22
ADAMS (Herbert B.). . 28
ADDISON . . . 4, 20
AGASSIZ (L.) . .3

AINGER(RCV. A.) . 4, 20, 33
AINSLIE(A. D.). . . 14
AIRY (Sir G. B.) . 2, 27
AITKEN (Mary C.) . . 20
AITKEN (Sir W.) . . 23
ALBEMARLE (Earl of) . 3
ALDRICH (T. B.) . -14
ALEXANDER (C. F.) . . 20
ALEXANDER (T.) . . 8
ALEXANDER (Bishop) . 33
ALLBUTT (T. C.) . . 22
ALLEN (G.) ... 6
ALLINGHAM (W.) . . 20
AMIEL(H.F.) ... 3
ANDERSON (A.). . . 14
ANDERSON (Dr. McCall) . 22
ANDREWS (Dr. Thomas) . 26
APPLETON (T. G.) . . 37
ARCHER-HIND (R. D.) . 36
ARIOSTO . . . -38
ARNOLD, M. 8, 14, 19, 20, 21. 30
ARNOLD (Dr. T.) . . 9
ARNOLD (W. T.) . . 9
ASHLEY (W. J.). . . 3
ATKINSON (J. P.) . . 2
ATKINSON (Rev. J. C.) i, 38

INDEX.

PAGE

ATTWELL (H.) . . .20
AUSTIN (Alfred) . . 14

AUTENRIETH (Georg) . 7

AWDRY (F.) ^ . . .38

BACON (Francis) . 19, 20
BAINES (Rev. E.) . . 33
BAKER (Sir S. W.) 28, 30, 37, 38
BALCH (Elizabeth) . . 12
BALDWIN (Prof. J. M.) . 26
BALFOUR (Rt. lion. A. J.) zs
BALFOUR (F. M.) . . 5, 6
BALFOUR (J. B.) . . 6
BALL(V.). . . .38
BALL (W. Platt) . . ~6
BALL(W. W. R.) . . 22
BALLANCE (C. A.) ... 22
BARKER (Lady) . 2, 8, 37
BARNARD (C.) . . .27
BARNES (W.) . . .3
BARRY (Bishop). . . 33
BARTHOLOMEW (J. G.) . 3
BARTLETT (J.) ... 7
BARWELL (R.) . . .22
BASTABLE (Prof. C. F.) . 28
BASTIAN (H. C.) . 6, 22
BATESON (W.) . . .6
BATH (Marquis of) . . 28
BATHER (Archdeacon) . 33
BAXTER (L.) ... 3
BEESLY (Mrs.) ... 9
BENHAM (Rev. W.) . 5, 20, 32
BENSON (Archbishop) 32, 33
BERLIOZ (H.) ... 3

BERNARD (J. H.)
BERNARD (M.) .
BERNERS (J.) .
BESANT (W.) .
BETHUNE-BAKER (J. F.
BETTANY (G. T.)
BICKERTON (T. H.) .
BIGELOW(M. M.) .

BlKELAS (D.) .

BINNIE (Rev. W.) .
BIRKS (T. R.) . 6, 25,

BjORNSON (B.) .

BLACK (W.) .
BLACKBURNE (E.) .
BLACKIE (J. S.) . 9,
BLAKE (J. F.) .
BLAKE (W.) .
BLAKISTON (J. R.) .
BLANFORD(H. F.) .
BLANFORD (W. T.) .
BLOMFIELD (R.)
BLYTH(A.W.).
BOHM-BAWERK (Prof.)
BOISSEVAIN (G. M.) .

BOLDREWOOD (Rolf ).
BONAR (J.)

BOND (Rev. J.).
BOOLE (G.)

BOUGHTON (G. H.) .
BOUTMY (E.) .

BOWEN (H. C.) .
BOWER (F. O.) .
BRIDGES (J. A.).

PAGE
• 25
. 12
. II
4

22

. 12-

• J7

• 33
30. 33

• 17
4, 17

• 3
14, 19

. 2

9' 27
9. 24

• 9
n

. 28
. 28

• 17
. 28

• 3i
. 26

• 37

12

• 25

. 6
. 19

INDEX.

PAGE

BRIGHT (H. A.). . . 9

BRIGHT (John) . . 28, 29

BRIMLEY(G.) . . -19

BRODIE (Sir B. C.) . .7

BRODRIBB (W. J.) . 13,37

BROOKE (Sir J.) . . 3

BROOKE (S. A.) .13, 14, 21

BROOKS (Bishop) . . 33

BROWN (A. C.) . . .26

BROWN (J. A.) i

BROWN (Dr. James) . . 4

BROWN (T.E.) .
BROWNE (J. H. B.) . . n
BROWNE (Sir T.) . .20
BROWNE (W. R.) . . 27
BRUNTON(Dr.T.Lauder) 22, 33
BRYCE (James) . . 9, 28, 37
BUCHHEIM (C. A.) . . 20

BUCKLAND (A.). . . 5

BUCKLEY (A. B ) . . 9
BUCKNILL (Dr. J. C.) . 22
BUCKTON (G. B.) . . 40

BUNYAN . . .4, 19, 20

liURGON (J. W.) . . 14

BURKE (E.) ... 28
BURN (R.). ... i
BURNETT (F. Hodgson) . 17
BURNS . . . 14, 20
BURY(J- B) ... 9
BUTCHER (Prof. S. H.) 13,19,36
BUTLER (A. J.) . . . 37
BUTLER (Rev. G.) . . 33
BUTLER (Samuel) . . 14
BUTLER (W. Archer) . 33
BUTLER (Sir W. F.) . . 4
BYRON . . . .20
CAIRNES (J. E.) . . 28
CALDECOTT (R.) .12, 38, 39
CALDERWOOD (Prof. H.)

8, 25, 26, 33

CALVERT (Rev. A.) . . 31
CAMERON (V. L.) . . 37
CAMPBELL (J. F.) . . 37
CAMPBELL (Dr. J. M.) . 33
CAMPBELL (Prof. Lewis) 5,13
CAPES (W.W.). . . 13
CARLES (W. R.) . . 37
CARLYLE(T.) ... 3
CARMARTHEN (Lady) . 17
CARNARVON (Earl of) . 36
CARNOT (N. L. G.) . . 27
CARPENTER (Bishop) . 33
CARR(J. C.) ... 2
CARROLL (Lewis) . 26, 38
CARTER (R. Brudenell) 22, 23
CASSEL (Dr. D.) . .9
CAUTLEY(G. S.) . . 14
CAZENOVE (J. G.) . . 33
CHALMERS (J. B.) . . 8
CHALMERS (M. D.) . . 29
CHAPMAN (Elizabeth R.) . 14
CHASSERESSE (Diana) . 30
CHERRY (R. R.) . . I2
CHEYNE (C. H. H.) . .2
CHEYNE (T. K.) . . 30
CHRISTIE (J.) . . .23
CHRISTIE (W. D.) . . 20
CHURCH (Prof. A. H.) . 6
CHURCH (Rev. A. J.) 4,30,37
CHURCH (F. J.). . 20,37
CHURCH (Dean) 3,4,i3»i9»3i>33
CLARK (J. W.) ... 20
CLARK (L.) ... 2
CLARK (S.) ... 3

PAGE

CLARKE (C. B.). . 9, 28
CLAUSIUS (R.) . . .27
CLIFFORD (Ed.) . . 3
CLIFFORD (W. K.) . 19, 26
CLIFFORD (Mrs. W. K.) . 38
CLOUGH (A. H.) . 14, 19
COBDEN (R.) . . .29
COHEN (J. B.) . . .7

COLENSO (J. W.) . .32

COLERIDGE (S. T.) . . 14

COLLIER (Hon. John) . 2

COLLINS (J. Churton) . 19

COLQUHOUN (F. S.) . . 14

COLVIN (Sidney) . 4, 20
COMBE (G.) ... 8

CONGKEVE (Rev. J.) . . 33

CONWAY (Hugh) . . 17

COOK (E. T.) . . .2

COOKE (C. Kinloch) . . 24

COOKE (J. P.) . . 7, 34

CORBETT(T.) . . 4, 17, 38

CORFIELD (W. H.) . . II

CORRY (T. H.) . . .6

COTTERILL(J.H.) . . 8

COTTON (Bishop) . . 34

COTTON (C.) . . .12

COTTON (J. S.) . . . 29

COUES (E.) . . .40

COURTHOPE (W. J.) . . 4

COWELL (G.) . . -23

COWPER . . . .20

Cox(G.V.) ... 9
CRAiK(Mrs. D. M.)

H. 17. J9, 20, 37, 38
CRAIK (H.) . . 8, 29
CRANE (Lucy) . . 2, 39
CRANE (Walter). 12,14,39
CRAVEN (Mrs. D.) . . 8
CRAWFORD (F. M.) . . 17
CREIGHTON (Bishop M.) 4, 10

CRICHTON-BROWNE(SirJ.) 8

CROSS (J. A.) . . .30
CROSSLEY (E.) ... 2
CROSSLEY (H.) . . .37
GUMMING (L.) . . 26

CUNNINGHAM (Sir H. S.) . 17
CUNNINGHAM (Rev. J.) . 31
CUNNINGHAM (Rev. W)3i, 33, 34
CUNYNGHAME (Sir A. T.) . 23
CURTEIS (Rev. G. H.) 32, 34
DAHN (F.) . . .17
DAKYNS (H. G.) . . 37
DALE (A. W. W.) . . 31
DALTON (Rev. J. N.) . 37
DANTE . . .3, 13, 37
DAVIES (Rev. J. LI.). 20, 31, 34
DAVIES(W.) ... 5
DAWKINS (W. B.) . . i
DAWSON (G. M.) . . 9
DAWsoN(SirJ.W.) . . 9
DAWSON (J.) ... i
DAY(L. B.) ... 17
DAY (R. E.) . 26

DEFOE (D.) . . 4, 20
DEIGHTON (K.). . . 15
DELAMOTTE (P. H.). . 2
DELL(E. C.) ... 12
DE MORGAN (M.) . . 39
DE VERE (A.) . . .20
DICEY (A. V.) . . 12, 29
DICKENS (C.) . . 5, 17
DIGGLE (Rev. J. W.). . 34
DILKE (Ashton W.) . . 19
DILKE (Sir Charles W.) . 29

PAGE
DlLLWYN (E. A.) . . 17

DOBSON (A.) ... 4
DONALDSON (J.) . . 33

DONISTHORPE (W.) . . 29

DOWDEN (E.) . . 4, 13, 15
DOYLE (Sir F. H.) . . 14
DOYLE (J. A.) . . .10
DRAKE (B.) ... 36

DRUMMOND(Prof. J.) . 34-

DRYDEN . . . .20
Du CANE (E. F.) . . 20,
DuFF(Sir M.E.Grant) 20,29,37
DUNSMUIR (A.). . . 17
DUNTZER (H.) . . . 4, 5
DUPRE (A.) ... 7
DYER(L.). . . . i
EADIE (J.). . . 4, 30, 31
EASTLAKE (Lady) . . 32
EBERS(G.) ... 17
EDGEWORTH (Prof. F. Y.). 28
EDMUNDS (Dr. W.) . . 22
EDWARDS-MOSS (Sir J. E.) 30
EIMER(G. H.T.) . . 6
ELDERTON (W. A.) . . 9
ELLERTON (Rev. J.). . 34
ELLIOT (Hon. A.) . . 29
ELLIS (T.). ... 2
EMERSON (R. W.) . 4, 20
EVANS (S.) ... 14
EVERETT (J. D.) . . 26
FALCONER (Lanoe) . . 17
FARRAR (Archdeacon) 5, 30, 34

FARRER(SirT. H.)
FAULKNER (F.).
FAWCETT (Prof. H.).
FAWCETT (M. G.) .
FAY (Amy)
FEARNLEY (W.)
FEARON (D. R.)
FERREL (W.) .
FERRERS (N. M.)
FESSENDEN (C.)
FINCK(H. T.) .
FISHER (Rev. O.)

. 29

• 7

28, 29

5,28

. 24
. 27
. 8

• 27

• 27
. 26

i

26, 27
6, 9. 25, 29, 34

FlSKE(J.).

FisoN(L.).
FITCH (J. G.) ... 8
FITZ GERALD (Caroline) . 14
FITZGERALD (Edward) 14, 20
FITZMAURICE (Lord E.) . 5
FLEAY(F. G.) ... 13
FLEISCHER (E.). . . 7
FLEMING (G.) . . .17
FLOWER (Prof. W. H.) . 39
FLUCKIGER (F. A.) . . 23
FORBES (A.) . . 4. 37
FORBES (Prof. G.) . . 3
FORBES (Rev. G. H.) . 34
FOSTER (Prof. M.) . 6, 27
FOTHERGILL (Dr. J. M.) 8, 23
FOWLE (Rev. T. W.). 29, 34
FOWLER (Rev. T.) . 4, 25
FOWLER (W. W.) . 24

Fox (Dr. Wilson) . 23

FOXWELL (Prof. H. S) 28

FRAMJI (D.) . . 9

FRANKLAND (P. F.) . i

FRASER (Bishop) . 34

FRASER-TYTLER (C. C.) 14
FRAZER (J. G.) . . i

FREDERICK (Mrs.) . 8

FREEMAN (Prof. E. A.)

2, 4, 10, 29, 32
FRENCH (G. R.) . . 13

INDEX.

PAGE

FRIEDMANN (P.) . . 3

FROST (A. B.) ... 38

FROUDE (J. A.). . . 4

FURNIS-S (Harry) . . 38

FURNIVALL (F. J.) . . 14

FYFFE (C. A.) . 10

FYFE(J. H.) . 10
GAIRDNER (J.) ... 4

GALTON (F.) . . i, 27

GAMGEE (Arthur) . . 27

GARDNER (Percy) . . i

GARNETT (R.) . . 14

GARNETT(W.). . . 5

GASKELL (Mrs.) . . 12

GASKOIN (Mrs. H.) . . 30

GEDDES (W. D.) . 13, 37

GEE(W. H.) . . 26,27

GEIKIE (Sir A.). . 4, 9, 27

GENNADIUS (J.) . . 17

GIBBINS (H. de B.) . . 10

GIBBON (Charles) . . 3

GILCHRIST (A.). . . 3

GILES (P.). . . .25

GlLMAN (N. P.) . . 28

GILMORE (Rev. J.) . . 13
GLADSTONE (Dr. J. H.) 7,8
GLADSTONE (W. E.). . 13
GLAISTER (E.) . . . 2, 8
GODFRAY(H.) ... 3

GODKIN(G. S.). . . 5

GOETHE . . . 4, 14
GOLDSMITH 4, 12, 14, 20, 21
GOOD ALE (Prof. G. L.) . 6

GOODFELLOW (J.) . . II

GORDON (General C. G.) . 4
GORDON (Lady Duff) . 37
GOSCHEN (Rt. Hon. G. J.). 28
GOSSE (Edmund) . 4, 13
Gow(J.) .... i
GRAHAM (D.) . -14

GRAHAM (J.W.) . . 17
GRAND'HOMME (E.) . . 8
GRAY (Prof. Andrew) . 26
GRAY (Asa) ... 6
GRAY ... 4, 14, 21
GREEN (J. R.) . g, 10, 12, 20
GREEN (Mrs. J. R.) . 4, g, 10
GREEN (W. S.) . . . 37
GREENHILL (W. A.) . . 20
GREENWOOD (J. E.) . . 39
GRIFFITHS (W. H.) . . 23
GRIMM . . . .39
GROVE (Sir G.). . 9,24
GUEST (E.) . . .10
GUEST (M. J.) . . . 10
GUILLEMIN (A.) . 26, 27
GuizoT(F. P. G.) . . 5

GUNTON (G.) . . . .28

HALES (J. W.) . . 16, 20
HALLVVARD (R. F.) . . 12
HAMERTON (P. G.) . 2, 21
HAMILTON (Prof. D. J.) . 23
HAMILTON (J.). . . 34
HANBURY (D.) . . 6, 23
HANNAY (David) . . 4
HARDWICK (Archd. C.) 31, 34
HARDY (A. S.) ... 17
HARDY (T.) . .17

HARE (A. W.) ... 20
HARE (J. C.) . . 20, 34
HARPER (Father Thos.) 25,34
HARRIS (Rev. G. C.). . 34
HARRISON (F.). . 4, 5, 21
HARRISON (Miss J.). . i

PAGE

HARTE (Bret) . . -17

HARTIG (Dr. R.) .6

HARTLEY (Prof. W. N.) . 7

HARWOOD (G.) . .21, 29, 32

HAYES (A.) . . .14

HEADLAM (W.). . . 36

HELPS (Sir A.) . . .21

HEM PEL (Dr. W.) . . 7

HERODOTUS . . .3?

HERRICK . . . .20

HERTEL(Dr.) ... 8

HERVEY (Lord A.) . . 34

HILL (F. Davenport). . 29

HILL (O.) . . . .29

HIORNS (A. H.) . . 23

HOBART (Lord) . .21
HOBDAY (E.) ... 9

HODGSON (Rev. J. T.) . 4

HOFFDING (Prof. H.) . 26

HOFMANN (A. W.) . . 7

HOLE (Rev. C.). . 7, 10
HOLIDAY (Henry) . . 38
HOLLAND (T. E.) . 12,29

HOLLWAY-CALTHROP(H.) 38

HOLMES (O. W.,junr.) . 12
HOMER ... 13, 36
HOOKER (Sir J. D.) . 6, 37
HOOLE (C. H.) . . . 30
HOOPER (G.) ... 4
HOOPER (W. H.) . . 2
HopE(F.J.) ... 9
HOPKINS (E.) . . .14
Hoppus(M. A. M.) . . 18
HORACE ... 13, 20
HORT (Prof. F. J. A.). 30, 32
HORTON (Hon. S. D.) . 28
HOVENDEN (R. M.) . . 37
HOWELL (George) . . 28
HOWES (G. B.) . . -40
HOWITT (A. W.) . . i
HOWSON (Very Rev. J. S.) 32
HoziER(Col.H. M.). . 24
HUBNER (Baron) . . 37
HUGHES (T.) 4, 15, 18, 20, 37
HULL (E.). . . . 2, 9

HULLAH (J.) . . 2, 20, 24

HUME(D.) ... 4
HUM pHRv(Prof.SirG.M.) 28,39

HUNT(W.) ... 10

Hu\T(W. M.) . . . 2
HUTTON (R. H.) . 4, 21
HUXLEY (T.) 4, 21, 27, 28, 29, 40
IDDINGS (J. P.). . . 9
ILLINGWORTH (Rev. J. R.) 34
INGRAM (T. D.) . . 10
IRVING (J.) . . .10
IRVING (Washington) . 12
JACKSON (Helen) . . 18
JACOB (Rev. J. A.) . . 34
JAMES (Henry). . 4, 18,21
JAMES (Rev. H. A.) . . 34
JAMES (Prof. W.) . . 26
JAMES (Sir W. M.) . . 10
J ARDINE (Rev. R.) . . 26
JEANS (Rev. G. E.) . 34, 37
JEBB (Prof. R. C.) . 4, 10, 13
JELLETT (Rev. J. H.) . 34
JENKS (Prof. Ed.) . . 29
JENNINGS (A. C.) . 10, 30
JEVONS (W. S.). 4, 26, 28, 29
JEX-BLAKE (Sophia). . 8
JOHNSON (Amy) . . 27
JOHNSON (Samuel) . . 13
JONES (H. Arthur) . . 15

PAGE

JONES (Prof. D. E.) . . 27
JONES (F.). ... 7
KANT . . . -25
KARI . . . .39
K.AVANAGH(Rt.Hn.A.M.) 4
KAY (Rev. W.) . . . 31
KEARY (Annie). 10, 18, 39
KEARY (Eliza) . . -39
KEATS . . .4, 20, 21
KELLNER (Dr. L.) . . 25
KELLO«G (Rev. S. H.) . 34
KEMPE(A. B.) . . '. 26
KEN NEDY (Prof. A. B. W. ) 8
KENNEDY (B. H.) . . 36
KEYNES(J.N.). . 26,28
KIEPERT(H.) ... 9
KILLEN (W. D.) . . 32
KINGSLEY (Charles) . 4, 8, 10,
11,12,13,15, 18, 21, 24, 32, 37, 39
KINGSLEY (Henry) . 20, 37
KIPLING G- L.). . . 38
KIPLING (Rudyard) . . 18

KlRKPATRICK (Prof.) . 34

KLEIN (Dr. E.). . 6, 23
KNIGHT (W.) ... 14
KUENEN (Prof. A.) . . 30
KYN ASTON (Rev. H.) 34, 37
LABBERTON (R. H.). . 3
LAFARGUE (P.). . . 18
LAMB. . . .4, 20, 21
LANCIANI (Prof. R.). . 2
LANDAUER (J.). . . 7
LANDOR . . . 4, 20
LANE-POOLE (S.) . . 20
LANFREY (P.) ... 5
LANG (Andrew). 2, 12, 21, 36
LANG (Prof. Arnold) . . 39
LANGLEY (J. N.) . . 27
LANKESTER (Prof. Ray) 6, 21
LASLETT (T.) ... 6
LEAF (W.). . . 13, 36
LEAHY (Sergeant) . . 30
LEA(M.) . 18

LEE (S.) ... 20, 37
LEEPER (A.) . . -37
LEGGE (A. O.) . . 10, 34
LEMON (Mark) . . .20
LESLIE (A.) . . .38
LETHBRIDGE (Sir Roper) . 10
LEVY (Amy) . . .18
LEWIS (R.) . . -13
LiGHTFOOT(Bp.)2i,3o,3i,33,34

LlGHTWOOD (J. M.) . . 12

LINDSAY (Dr. J. A.) .* . 23

LOCKYER (J. N.) . %, 7, 27

LODGE (Prof. O.J.) . 21,27

LOEWY(B.) . . .26

LOFTIE (Mrs. W. J.). . 2

LONGFELLOW (H. W.) . so

LONSDALE (J.) . . 20, 37

LOWE (W. H.) . . . 30
LOWELL (J. R.). . 15, 21
LuBBOCK(Sir J.) 6, 8, 21, 22, 40
LUCAS (F.) ... 15
LUPTON (S.) ... 7
LYALL (Sir Alfred) . . 4
LYTE(H. C.M.) . . 10
LYTTON (Earl of) . .18
MACALISTER (D.) . . 23
MACARTHUR (M.) . . 10
MACAULAY(G. C.) . . 36
MACCOLL (Norman). . 14
M'CosH (Dr. J.) . 25, 26
MACUONALD (G.) . . 16

INDEX.

43

PAGE

MACDONELL (J.) . . 29

MACK AIL (J. W.) . . 37

MACKENZIE (Sir Morell) . 23

MACLAGAN (Dr. T.). . 23

M ACL ARK N (Rev. Alex.) . 34

MACI.AKKN (Archibald) . 39

MACU:AX(\V.C.)- . . 23
MACLE,w<(Rev.Dr.G.F.) 30,32

M'LENNAX(J.F.) . . I

M'LEXXAX (Malcolm) . 18

MACMILLAN(ReV. H.) 22, 35, 38

MACMILLAN (Michael) 5, 15

M/.CNAMARA (C.) . . 23

MACQUOID(K. S.) . . 18
MADOC(F.) . 18

MAGI;IRE(J. F.) . . 39

MAHAFFY(Prof. J.P.)

2, II, I3, 22, 25, 35, 38

MAITLAXD (F.\V.) . 12,29
MALET.(L-) . 18

MALORY (Sir T.) . . 20
MANSFIELD (C. B.) . . 7
MARKHA.M (C. R.) . . 4
MARRIOTT (J. A. R.). . 5
MARSHALL (Prof. A.) . 28
MARSHALL (M. P) . . 28
MARTEL (C.) . . -24
MARTIN (Frances) . 3, 39
MARTIN (Frederick). . 28
MARTIN (H. N.) . . 40
MARTINEAU (H.) . . 5
MARTINEAI; (J.) . . 5
MASSON(D.) 4,5,15,16,20,22,26
MASSON (G.) . . 7, 20
MASSON (R. O.) . . 16
MATURIN (Rev. W.). . 35
MALDSLEY (Dr. H.) . . 26
MAURICE (Fredk.Denison)

8, 22, 25, 30, 31, 32, 35
MAURICE (Col.F.) . 5, 24, 29
MAX MULLER (F.) . . 25
MAYER (A.M.). . . 27
MAYOR (J.B.) ... 31
MAYOR (Prof. J. E. B.) . 3, 5
MAZIXI (L.) . . -39
M'CoKMiCK (W. S.) . . 13
MELDOLA (Prof. R.). 7, 26, 27
MEXIJEXHALL (T. C.) . 27
MERCIER (Dr. C.) . . 23
MERCUR (Prof. J.) . . 24
MEREDITH (G.). . . 15
MEREDITH (L. A.) . . 12
MEYER (E. von) . . 7
Mi ALL (A.) ... 5

MlCHELET (M.) . . II

MiLL(H.R.) ... 9
MILLER (R. K.). . ' . 3
MILLIGAN (Rev. W.). 31.35
MILTON . . 13, 15, 20
MINCHIN (Prof. G. M.) . 15
M INTO (Prof. W.) . 4, 18
Mi i FORD (A. B.) . . 18
MivART(St. George). . 28

MlXTER(W.G-) . . 7

MOHAMMAD . . .20
MOLESWORTH (Mrs.) . 39
MOLLOY (G.) . . 26

MONAHAN (J. H.) . . 12

MONTELJUS (O.) . . I

MOORE (C. H.). . . 2

MOORHOUSE (Bishop) . 35

MORISOX (J.) . . .15

MORISOX (J. C.) . . 3, 4

MORLEY (John). 3, 4, 16, 22

PAGE

MORRIS (Mowbray) . . 4

MORRIS (R.) . . 20, 25

MORSHEAD (E. D. A.) . 36

MOULTON (L. C.) . . 15

MUDIE (C. E.) . . .15

MuiR(M. M.P.) . . 7

M ULLER (H.) ... 6
MULLINGER (J. B.) . . II

MURPHY (J. J.). . . 26
MURRAY (D. Christie) . 18

MURRAY (E. C. G.) . . 38

MYERS (E.) . . 15, 36
MYERS (F. W. H.) . 4, 15, 22

MYLXE (Bishop) . . 35

NADAL (E. S.) . . . 22

NETTLESHIP (H.). . . 13
NEWCASTLE (Duke and

Duchess) . . .20

NEWCOMB (S.) . . . 3

NEWTON (Sir C. T.). . 2

NICHOL (J.) . . 4, 13

NOEL (Lady A.) . . 18

NORDENSKIOLD (A. E. ") . 38

NORGATE (Kate) . .11
NORRIS(W. E.) . . 18
NORTON (Charles Eliot) . 3
NORTON (Hon. Mrs.) 15, 19

OLIPHANT(MrS. M. O. W.)

4, n, 13, ig, 20, 39
OLIPHANT (T. L. K.) 22,25
OLIVER (Prof. D.) . . 6
OLIVER (Capt. S. P.). . 38
OMAN(C.W.) ... 4
OSTWALD (Prof.) . . 7
OTTE(E. C.) . . .11
PAGE(T. E.) ... 31
PALGRAVE (Sir F.) . . n
PALGRAVE (F. T.)

2, 15, 16, 20, 21, 33, 39
PALGRAVE (R. F. D.) . 29
PALGRAVE (R. H. Inglis) . 28
PALGRAVE (W. G.) 15, 29, 38
PALMER (Lady S.) . . 19
PARKER (T. J.). . 6, 39
PARKER (W. N.) . . 40
PARKINSON (S.) . . 27
PARKMAN (F.) . . .11
PARSONS (Alfred) . . 12
PASTEUR (L.) ... 7
PATER (W. H.) . 2, 19, 22
PATERSON (J.) . . .12
P ATM ORE (Coventry) 20, 39
PATTESON (J. C.) . . 5
PATTISON (Mark) . 4, 5. 35
PAYNE (E. J.) . . 10, 29
PEABODY(C. H.) . 8,27
PEEL(E.). ... 15
PEILE(J.). . . .25
PELLISSIER (E.) . . 25
PENNELL (J.) ... 2
PENNINGTON (R.) . . 9
PENROSE (F.C.) . . i, 3
PERRY (Prof. J.) . . 27
PETTIGRENV (J. B.) . 6, 28, 40
PHILLIMORE (J. G.) . . 12
PHILLIPS (J. A.) . . 23
PHILLIPS (W. C.) . . 2

PlCTON (J. A.) . . .22

PlFFARD (H. G.) . . 23

PLATO . . . .20
PLUMPTRE (Dean) . . 35
POLLARD (A. W.) . . 37
PoLLOCK(SirFk. ,2nd Bart.) 5
PoLLOCK(Sir F.,Bart.) 12,22,29

PAGE

POLLOCK (Lady) . . 2
POLLOCK (W. H.) . . 2
POOLE (M. E.) . . . 22

POOLE(R. L.) . . .II

POPE . . . . 4, 20

POSTE (E.) . . 27, 36

POTTER (L.) . . .22

POTTER (R.) . . . 33

PRESTON (T.) . . -27

PRICE (L. L. F. R.) . . 28

PRICKARD (A. O.) . . 22
PRINCE ALBERT VICTOR . 37

PRINCE GEORGE . . 37

PROCTER (F.) . . . 32

PROPERT (J. L.) . - 2

RADCLIFFE (C. B.) . . 3
RAMSAY (W.) ... 7

RAXSOME(C.) . . -13

RATHBONE (W.) . . B

RAWLINSON (W.G.). . 2

RAWNSLEY (H. D.) . . 13
RAY (P. K.) ... 26

RAYLEIGH (Lord) . . 27

REICHEL (Bishop) . . 35.
REiDQ.S.) ... 37

REMSEN (I.) . .7

RENDALL (Rev. F.) . 31, 33

RENDU(M. leC.) . . 9

REYNOLDS (H. R.) . . 35

REYNOLDS (J. R.) . . 23.

REYNOLDS (O.). . .11

RICHARDSON (B. W.) n, 23.

RlCHEY(A. G.). . . 12

ROBINSON (Preb. H.G.) . 35
ROBINSON (J. L.) . . 24.
ROBINSON (Matthew) . 5
ROCHESTER (Bishop of) . 5
ROCKSTRO (W. S.) . . 4.
ROGERS (J.E. T.) .11,28,29.
ROMANES (G. J.) . . 6-
RoscoE(Sir H.E.) . . 7
ROSENBUSCH(H.) . . 9,
Ross (P.) . . . .19
ROSSETTI (C. G.) . 15, 39

ROUTLEDGE (J.) . . 29

Ro\vE(F.J.) . 16

RUCKER (Prof. A. W.) 7

RUMFORD (Count) . . 22

RUSHBROOKE (W. G.) . 31

RUSSELL (Dean) . . 35

RUSSELL (Sir Charles) . 29

RUSSELL (W. Clark) . 4, 19

RYLAND (F.) . . . 13

RYLE (Prof. H. E.) . . 30
ST. JOHNSTON (A.) .19, 38, 39

SADLER (H.) 2-

SAINTSBURY (G.) . 4, 13

SALMON (Rev. G.) . . 35

SANDFORD (M. E.) . . 5

SANDYS (J. E.) . . . 38

SAYCE(A. H.) . . . ir

SCHAFF (P.) . . . 30-

SCHLIEMANN (Dr.) . . 2

SCHORLEMMER (C.) . . 7

SCOTT (D. H.) ... 6
SCOTT (Sir W.). . 15,20
SCRATCHLEY (Sir Peter) . 24
SCUDDER (S. H.) . . 40
SEATON (Dr. E. C.) . . 23
SEELEY (J. R.). . . n
SEILER (Dr. Carl) . 23, 28:
SELBORNE (Earl of) 12,20,32,33,
SELLERS (E.) . . . 2
SERVICE (J.) . . 32, 35

44

INDEX.

PAGE

SEWELL (E. M.) . . n
SHAIRP (J.C.) . . 4, 15
SHAKESPEARE . 13, 15, 20, 21
SHANN (G. ) . . 8, 27
SHARP (W. ) ... 5
SHELLEY . . 15, 21

SHI'RLEY (W. N. ) . . 35
SHORTHOUSE (J. H.) -19
SHORTLAND 'Admiral) . 24
SHUCHHARDT (Carl). . 2
SHUCKBURGH (E. S. ) n, 36
SHUFELDT (R. W.) . . 40
SIHSON (Dr. F.) . -23
SIDGWICK (Prof. H.) 26,28,29
SIME (J.) . . . 9, 10
SIMPSON (Rev. W.) . . jf
SKEAT (W.W.) . . 13
SKRINE (J. H.)- • 5, 15
SLADE (J. H.) . . .8
SLOMAN (Rev. A.) . . 31
SMART (W.) ... 28
SMALLEY (G. W.) . . 22
SMETHAM (J.) ... 5
SMITH (A.) . . .20
SMITH (C. B.) . . . 16
SMITH (Goldwin) . 4, 5, 29
SMITH (H.) . . .16
SMITH (J.) ... 6
SMITH (Rev. T.) . . 35
SMITH (W. G.) . . - 6
SMITH (W. S.) . . .35

SOMERVILLE (Prof. W.) . 6
SOUTHEY .... 5

SPENDER (J. K.) . . 23

SPENSER . . . .20

SPOTTISWOODE (W.). . 27

STANLEY (Dean) . . 35
STANLEY (Hon. Maude) . 29

STATHAM (R.) . . .29

STEBBING (W.). . . 4

STEPHEN (C. E.) .8

STEPHEN (H.) . . -13

STEPHEN (Sir J. F.) u, 13, 22

STEPHEN (J. K.) . . 13
STEPHEN (L.) ... 4

STEPHENS (J. B.) . . 16

STEVENSON (J. J.) . .2

STEWART (A.) . . -39

STEWART (Balfour) 26, 27, 35

STEWART (S. A.) . . 6

STOKES (Sir G. G.) . . 27

STORY (R. H.) . . . 3

STONE (W. H.). . . 27

STRACHEY (Sir E.) . . 20

STRACHEv(Gen. R.)- . 9
SrRANGFORD(Viscountess) 38

STRETTELL (A.) . . 16

STUBBS (Rev. C. W.). . 35

STUBBS (Bishop) . . 31

SUTHERLAND (A.) . . Q

SYMONDS (J. A.) . . 4

SYMONDS (Mrs. J. A.) . 5

SYMONS (A.) . .16

TAIT (Archbishop) . . 35

TAiT(C.W. A.) . .n
TAIT (Prof. P. G.) 26, 27, 35

PAGE

. 38
. 24

25, 35

24, 27
. 8
. 35
. 4
. 38
-38

16, 21
. 16

12. 39
. ' 6
. 10
. 27
. 8
. 40

TANNER (H.) .
TAVERNIER(J. B.) .
TAYLOR (Franklin) .
TAYLOR (Isaac).
TAYLOR (Sedley)
TEGETMEIER (W. B.)
TEMPLE (Bishop)
TEMPLE (Sir R.)
TEN N ANT (Dorothy).
TENNIEL .

TENNYSON . 14
TENNYSON (Frederick)
TENNYSON (Hallam).
THOMPSON (D 'A. W.)
THOMPSON (E.).
THOMPSON (S. P.) .
THOMSON (A. W.) .
THOMSON (Sir C. W.)

THOMSON (Hiiijh) . . 12
THOMSON (Sir Wm.) 24, 26, 27

THORNE (Dr. Thorne) . 23

THORNTON (J.). . . 6

THORNTON (W. T.) 26, 29, 37

THORPE (T. E.). . . 7

THRING(E.) . . 8,22

THRUPP (J. F.) . . -30

THUDICHUM (J. L. W.) . 7

THURSFIELD (J. R.) . . 4

TODHUNTER (I.) . • 5, 8

TORRENS (W. M.) . . 5

TOURGENIEF (I. S.) . . 19
TouT(T. F.) ... ii
TOZER (H. F.) ... 9

TRAILL (H. D.). . 4, 29

TRENCH (Capt. F.) . . 29

TRENCH (Archbishop) . 35

TREVELYAN (Sir G. O.) . n
TRIBE (A.). ... 7

TRISTRAM (W. O.) . . 12
TROLLOPS (A.) ... 4

TRUMAN (J.) . .16

TUCKER (T. G.) . . 36

TULLOCH (Principal). . 35

TURNER (C. Tennyson) . 16

TURNER (G.) i

TURNER (H. H.) . . 27

TURNER (J. M.W.) . . 12

TYLOK(E. B.) . . . i

TYRWIIITT (R. St. J.) 2, 16
VAUGHAN (C.J.) 31.^2,35,36

VAUGHAN (Rev. D. J.) 20, 36

VAUGHAN (Rev. E. T.) . 36

VAUGHAN (Rev. R.). . 36

VELEY(M.) . . -19

VENN (Rev. J.). . 26,36

VERNON (Hon. W. W.) . 13

VERRALL (A. W.) . 13,36

VERRALL (Mrs.) . . i

WAIN (Louis) . . .39

WALDSTEIN (C.) . . 2

WALKER (Prof. F. A.) . 28

WALLACE (A. R.) . 6, 24, 28

WALLACE (Sir D. M.) . 29

WALPOLE (S.) . . .29

WALTON (I.) . . .12

4, 13, 20

6

PAGE

WARD (A. W.) .
WARD (H. M.) .
WARD(S-). . . . 16
WARD(T. H.) . 16

WAKD (Mrs. T. H.) . 19, 39
WARD (W.) . . 5, 32
WARINGTON (G.) . . 36
WATERS (C. A.) . . 28
WATERTON (Charles) 24, 38
WATSON (E.) . . .5
WATSON (R. S.) . . 38
WEBB (W. T.) . . 16, 37
WEBSTER (Mrs. A.) . . 39
WELBY-GREGORY (Lady) . 32
WELLDON (Rev. J. E. C.). 36
WESTCOTT (Bp.) 30, 31, 32, 36
WESTERMARCK (E.). . i
WETHERELL (J.) . . 2=;
WHEELER (J. T.) . . ii
WHEWELL (W.). . . 5
WHITE (Gilbert) . . 24
WHITE (Dr. W. Hale) . 23
WHITE (W.) ... 27
WHITHAM (J. M.) . . 8
WHITNEY (W. D.) . . 8
WHITTIER (J. G.) . 16,22
WICKHAM (Rev. E. C.) . 36

WlCKSTEED (P. H.) . 28, 30

WlEDERSHEIM (R.) . . 40

WlLBRAHAM (F. M.). . 32

WILKINS (Prof. A. S.) 2, 13, 36
WILKINSON (S.) . . 24
WILLIAMS (G. H.) . . 9
WILLIAMS (Montagu) . 5
WILLIAMS (S. E.) . . 13

WlLLOUGHBY (F.) . . 39

WILLS (W. G.) . . . 16

WILSON (A. J.) . . . 29

WILSON (Sir C.) . . 4

WILSON (Sir D.) . i, 3, 13

WILSON (Dr. G.) . 4, 5, 22

WILSON (Archdeacon) . 36

WILSON (Mary). . . 13
WINGATE (Major F. R.) . 24

WlNKWORTH (C.) . .5

WOLSELEY (Gen. Viscount) 24
WOOD (A. G.) . 16

WOOD (Rev. E. G.) . . 36
WOODS (Rev. F. H.). . i
WOODS (Miss M. A.). 16, 33
WOODWARD (C. M.). . 8
WOOLNER (T.) . . .16
WORDSWORTH . 5, 14, 16, 21
WORTHEY (Mrs.) . . 19
WRIGHT (Rev. A.) . . 31
WRIGHT (C. E.G.) . . 8
WRIGHT (J.) . . .21
WRIGHT (L. ) . . -27
WRIGHT (W. Aldis) 8, 15, 20, 31
WURTZ (Ad.) ... 7
WYATT (SirM. D.) . . 2
YOXGE (C. M.) 5, 6, 8, 10, ii,

19, 21, 25, 30, 39
YOUNG (E. W.) . . 8
ZIEGLER (Dr. E.) . .23

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