The Mikado Or The Town Of Titipu

oj

by

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Music by

THE MIKADO

or Tfee Tmj&m, of Titipu

G. SCHIRMER, Inc.

New York

?82 S9^m 55-0^869

Sullivan

The mikado.

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Public Library

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3114800451 5961

DATE DUE

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DRAMATIS PERSON AE

THE MIKADO OF JAPAN

NANKI-POO . , His Son, disguised as a wandering minstrel, and in love with YUM- YUM

Ko-Ko Lord High Executioner of Titipu

POOH-BAH .Lord High Everything Else

PISH-TUSH A Noble Lord

YUM- YUM 1

PITTI-SING i Three Sisters, Wards of Ko-Ko

PEEP-BO J

KATTSHA An Elderly Lady, in love with NANKi-Poo

CHORUS OF SCHOOL-GIRLS, NOBLES, GUARDS, AND COOLIES

ACT I Courtyard of Ko-Ko's Official Residence
ACT II Ko-Ko's Garden

ARGUMENT

Before the action of the opera begins, Nanki-Poo has fled from the court of
his father, the Mikado of Japan, to escape marriage with an elderly lady, named
Katisha. Assuming the disguise of a musician, he has then fallen in love with a
fair maiden, Yum- Yum; but he has been prevented from marrying her by her
guardian, Ko-Ko, who wishes to marry her himself. Ko-Ko, however, has been
condemned to death for flirting; and, when Act I opens, Nanki-Poo is hastening
to the court of Ko-Ko in Titipu to find out whether Yum-Yum is now free to marry
him.

From Pooh-Bah (a corrupt and proud public official) and Pish -Tush (a noble
man), Nanki-Poo learns that Ko-Ko has, instead, become Lord High Executioner,
thus preventing the sentence of decapitation from being carried out. Ko-Ko is,
in fact, Roing to marry Yum-Yum that very afternoon.

Everything seems to be going well for Ko-Ko, but suddenly a letter comes
from the Mikado ordering him to execute somebody or else lose his position of
Lord High Executioner. He is in a quandary to find someone to execute, when
Nanki-Poo appears, bent upon suicide because he cannot marry Yum-Yum. By
conceding to him the right to marry Yum-Yum for a month, Ko-Ko persuades
Nanki-Poo to be the subject for the public execution when that month is up.
There is general rejoicing in this apparent solution to the problem, marred only
by the unexpected appearance of Katisha, in quest of the vanished object of her
affections, Nanki-Poo. She is driven away, but threatens to go to the Mikado
about the matter.

Act II opens with Yum-Yum preparing for her marriage with Nanki-Poo.
As all are singing a "merry madrigal", Ko-Ko comes in with the news that he
has just discovered a law stating that when a married man is executed his wife
must be buried alive. To save Yum-Yum from that fate, Nanki-Poo decides to
kill himself at once. But this again throws Ko-Ko into a quandary to find some
one to execute (especially as he has heard that the Mikado is at that moment on
his way to Titipu). Nanki-Poo magnanimously offers himself for immediate
decapitation, but Ko-Ko is unable to perform the act without some practice.

Another way out of the difficulty presents itself: Ko-Ko has Pooh-Bah
make a false affidavit that Nanki-Poo has been executed, and bids Nanki-Poo
and Yum-Yum leave the country.

The Mikado soon appears. Ko-Ko thinks that the object of this visit
is to see whether the execution has taken place. He accordingly produces the
affidavit and describes with gusto the execution. But the Mikado has actually
come at the prompting of Katisha in search of his lost son. When the fact tran
spires that the person whom Ko-Ko has supposedly executed is really the Mikado's
son, Ko-Ko and his accomplices are declared guilty of "compassing the death of
file Heir Apparent". The only hope for them is to admit the falsehood of the
affidavit and produce Nanki-Poo alive. But, as Nanki-Poo has already married
Yum-Yum and so cannot marry Katisha, Katisha will surely insist on the execution
of Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. Ko-Ko solves the problem by offering his hand to
Katisha ; and* after he sings her tbe t^tiefepfjj; ballad of "Wi|Iow r tit-wfl|ow r % siie
accepts him* T&e epd <rf ^e
as the son of the Mikado.

MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT I

OVERTURE

1. "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO WE ARE" (Opening Chorus and Recitative)

Nanki-Poo and Men

2. "A WAND'RING MINSTREL I" (Solo and Chorus) .... Nanki-Poo and Men

3. "OuR GREAT MIKADO, VIRTUOUS MAN" (Solo and Chorus)

Pish-Tush and Men

4. " YOUNG MAN, DESPAIR" (Song). . . .Pooh-Bah, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush
4a. "AND HAVE I JOURNEYED FOR A MONTH" (Recitative)

Nanki-Poo and Pooh-Bah
5* "BEHOLD THE LORD HIGH EXECUTIONER" (Chorus and Solo)

Ko-Ko and Men
5a. "As SOME DAY IT MAY HAPPEN" (Solo and Chorus) Ko-Ko and Men

6. "COMES A TRAIN OF LITTLE LADIES" (Chorus) Girls

7. "THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL ARE WE" (Trio and Chorus)

Yum- Yum, Peep-Bo, Pitti-Sing, and Girls

8. "So PLEASE YOU, SIR, WE MUCH REGRET" (Quartet and Chorus)

Yum- Yum, Peep-Bo, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, and Girls

9. "WERE YOU NOT TO Ko-Ko PLIGHTED" (Duet) . . Yum-Yum'and Nanki-Poo

10. "I AM so PROUD" (Trio) . .Pooh-Bah, Ko-Ko, and Pish-Tush

11. "WiTH ASPECT STERN AND GLOOMY STRIDE" (Finale of Act I) ... .Ensemble

ACT II

12. "BRAID THE RAVEN HAIR" (Opening Chorus and Solo) . .Pitti-Sing and Girls

13. "THE SUN, WHOSE RAYS ARE ALL ABLAZE" (Song) Yum- Yum

14. "BRIGHTLY DAWNS OUR WEDDING DAY" (Madrigal)

Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush

15. "HERE'S A HOW-DE-DO!" (Trio) ... Yum-Yum, Nanki-Poo, and Ko-Ko

16. "Mi-YA SA-MA" (March of the Mikado's Troops, Chorus, and Duet)

Mikado, Katisha^ Girls, and Men

17. "A MORE HUMANE MIKADO" (Solo and Chorus) Mikado, Girls, and Men

18. "THE CRIMINAL CRIED AS HE DROPPED HIM DOWN" (Trio and Chorus)

Ko-Ko, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, Girls, and Men

19. "SEE HOW THE FATES THEIR GIFTS ALLOT" (Glee)

Mikado, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, Ko-Ko, and Katisha

20. "THE FLOWERS THAT BLOOM IN THE SPRING" (Song)

Nanki-Poo, Ko-Ko, Yum- Yum, Pitti-Sing, and Pooh-Bah

21. "ALONE, AND YET ALIVE!" (Recitative and Song) Katisha

22. "WiLLOW r TIT-WILLOW" (Song) , Ko-Ko

23. "THERE is BEAUTY IN THE BELLOW OF THE BLAST" (Duet)

KaMsha and Ko-Ko

24. "FOR HE'S GONE AND MARRIED YUM-YUM" (Finale of Act II). .Ensemble

THE MIKADO

or

The Town of Titipu

ACT I

SCENE: Courtyard of Ko-Ko's Palace in
Titipu. Japanese nobles discovered standing
and sitting in attitudes suggested by native
drawings.

No. 1. "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO

WE ABE"
Opening Chorus and Recitative

and MEN (Chorus of Nobles)

If you want to know who we are,

We are gentlemen of Japan:
On many a vase and jar,
On many a screen and fan,
We figure in lively paint:
Out attitude's queer and quaint
You're wrong if you think it ain't, oh!

If you think we are worked by strings

Like a Japanese marionette,
You don't understand these things:
It is simply Court etiquette.

Perhaps you suppose this throng

Can't keep it up all day long?

If that's your idea, you're wrong, oh!

(Enter NANKI-POO in great excitement. He
carries a native guitar on his back and a bundle
of ballads in his hand.)

RECITATIVE

NANKI: Gentlemen, I pray you tell me
Where a gentle maiden dwelleth,
Named Yum- Yum, the ward of

Ko-Ko:
In pity speak oh, speak, I pray

you!

A NOBLE: Why, who are you who ask this
question?

NANKI : Come gather round me, and I'll tell
you.

No. 2.

"A WANDERING MINSTREL

Solo and Chorus
NANKI-POO and MEN

NANKI: A wand'ring minstrel I

A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs, and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!

My catalogue is long,

Through every passion ranging,
And to your humours changing

I tune my supple song!

Are you in sentimental mood?
I'll sigh with you,

Oh, sorrow!

On maiden's coldness do you brood ?
I'll do so, too

Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll charm your willing ears
With songs of lovers' fears,
While sympathetic tears
My cheeks bedew
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

But if patriotic sentiment is wanted,

I've patriotic ballads cut and dried;
For where'er our country's banner may be

planted,

All other local banners are defied!
Our warriors, in serried ranks assembled,
Never quail or they conceal it if they

do
And I shouldn't be surprised if nations

trembled
Before the mighty troops of Titipu!

MEN: We shouldn't be surprised if nations

trembled with alarm
Before the mighty troops of Titipu!

THE MIKADO

NANKI: And if you call for a song of the sea,

We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave-ho, for the wind is

free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's

a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!

MEN: Yeo-ho, heave-ho,

Hurrah for the homeward bound!

NANKI: To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a sailor sees
Is when he's down
At an inland town,
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo-ho!
And his arm around her waist!

MEN: Then man the capstan off we go,
As the fiddler swings us round,
With a yeo heave-ho,
And a rum below,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!
Yeo-ho, heave ho,
Yeo-ho, heave ho, heave ho,
yeo-ho!

NANKI: A wand 'ring minstrel I

A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs, and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!

(Enter PiSH-Tusn.)

PISH: And what may be your business with
Yum- Yum?

NANKI: I'll tell you. A year ago I was a
member of the Titipu town band. It was my
duty to take the cap round for contributions.
While discharging this delicate office, I saw
Yum- Yum. We loved each other at once, but
she was betrothed to her guardian, Ko-Ko, a
cheap tailor, and I saw that my suit was hope
less. Overwhelmed with despair, I quitted the
town. Judge of my delight when I heard, a
month ago, that Ko-Ko had been condemned
to death for flirting! I hurried back at once, in
the hope of finding Yum- Yum at liberty to
listen to my protestations.

PISH: It is true that Ko-Ko was condemned
to death for flirting, but he was reprieved at the
last moment, and raised to the exalted rank of
Lord High Executioner under the following re
markable circumstances :

No. 3. "OuR GREAT MIKADO, VIRTU
OUS MAN"
Solo and Chorus
PISH-TUSH and MEN

PISH: Our great Mikado, virtuous man.
When he to rule our land began,
Resolved to try
A plan whereby

Young men might best be steadied.
So he decreed, in words succinct,
That all who flirted, leered, or winked
(Unless connubially linked)
Should forthwith be beheaded.

And I expect you'll all agree
That he was right to so decree.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right as right can be!

MEN: And you are right, etc.

PISH: This stern decree, you'll understand,

Caused great dismay throughout the

land:

For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye,
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh,
Was thereupon condemned to die
He usually objected.

And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And everything is quite correct!

MEN: And you are right, etc.

PISH: And so we straight let out on bail
A convict from the county jail,
Whose head was next,
On some pretext,
Condemned to be mown off,
And made him Headsman, for we said,
"Who's next to be decapited
Cannot cut off another's head

Until he's cut his own off.*'
And we are right, I think you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right too-loo-ral-lay!

MEN: And you are right, etc.

THE MIKADO

(Exeunt CHOBXJS. Enter POOH-BAH.)

NANKI : Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor, Lord High
Executioner of Titipu! Why, that's the high
est rank a citizen can attain!

POOH: It is. Our logical Mikado, seeing no
moral difference between the dignified judge
who condemns a criminal to die, and the indus
trious mechanic who carries out the sentence,
has rolled the two offices into one, and every
judge is now his own executioner.

NANKI : But how good of you (for I see that
you are a nobleman of the highest rank) to
condescend to tell all this to me, a mere stroll
ing minstrel!

POOH: Don't mention it. I am, in point of
fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive per
son, of pre- Adamite ancestral descent. You
will understand this when I tell you that I can
trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal pri
mordial atomic globule. Consequently, my
family pride is something inconceivable. I
can't help it. I was born sneering. But I
struggle hard to overcome this defect. I mor
tify my pride continually. When all the great
Officers of State resigned in a body because
they were too proud to serve under an ex-
tailor, did I not unhesitatingly accept all then*
posts at once?

PISH: And the salaries attached to them?
You did.

POOH: It is consequently my degrading
duty to serve this upstart as First Lord of the
Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commancter-in-
Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the
Buckhounds, Groom of the Back Stairs, Arch
bishop of Titipu, and Lord Mayor, both acting
and elect, all rolled into one. And at a salary !
A Pooh-Bah paid for his services ! I a salaried
minion! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do
it.

NANKI: And it does you credit.

POOH: But I don't stop at that. I go and
dine with middle-class people on reasonable
terms. I dance at cheap suburban parties for
a moderate fee. I accept refreshment at any
hands, however lowly. I also retail State se
crets at a very low figure. For instance, any

further information about Yum- Yum would
come under the head of a State secret. (NANKI-
Poo takes the hint, and gives him money.)
(Aside) Another insult, and I think a light
one!

No. 4. "YOUNG MAN, DESPAIR"

Song
POOH-BAH, NANKI-POO, and Pisn-TusH

POOH : Young man, despair,

Likewise go to,
Yum-Yum the fair
You must not woo.
It will not do:
I'm sorry for you,
You very imperfect ablutioner!

This very day

From school Yum-Yum
Will wend her way,

And homeward come,

With beat of drum,

And a rum-tum-tum,
To wed the Lord High Executioner!

And the brass will crash,

And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash

On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

NANKI and PISH : And the brass will crash, etc,

POOH: It's a hopeless case,
As you may see,
And in your place
Away I'd flee;
But don't blame me
I'm sorry to be
Of your pleasure a diminutioner.

They'll vow their pact

Extremely soon,
In point of fact

This afternoon

Her honeymoon

With that buffoon
At seven commences, so you shun her!

ALL: And the brass will crash, etc.

(Exit PISH-TISH.)

10

THE MIKADO

No. 4a. "AND HAVE I JOURNEYED FOR
A MONTH"

Recitative

NANKI-POO and POOH-BAH
NANKI :

And have I journeyed for a month, or nearly,
To learn that Yum- Yum, whom I love so

dearly,
This day to Ko-Ko is to be united!

POOH:

The fact appears to be as you've recited:
But here he comes, equipped as suits his

station;
He'll give you any further information.

(Exeunt POOH-BAH and NANKI-POO. Enter
CHOBUS OF NOBLES.)

No, 5. "BEHOLD THE LORD HIGH

EXECUTIONER"

Chorus and Solo

Ko-Ko and MEN

CHORUS: Behold the Lord High Executioner!
A personage of noble rank and title

A dignified and potent officer,
Whose functions are particularly vital!

Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner!

(Enter Ko-Ko, attended.)

Ko: Taken from the county jail

By a set of curious chances;
Liberated then on bail,

On my own recognizances;
Wafted by a favouring gale,

As one sometimes is hi trances,
To a height that few can scale,

Save by long and weary dances;
Surely, never had a male

Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale,

Which may rank with most ro
mances.

Ko: Gentlemen, I'm much touched by this
reception. I can only trust that by strict at
tention to duty I shall ensure a continuance of
those favours which it will ever be my study
to deserve. If I should ever be called upon
to act professionally, I am happy to think that
there will be no difficulty in finding plenty of
people whose loss will be a distinct gain to
society at large.

No. 5a. "As SOME DAY IT MAY

HAPPEN"
Solo and Chorus
Ko-Ko and MEN

Ko : As some day it may happen that a victim

must be found,
I've got a little list I've got a little

list
Of society offenders who might well be

underground,
And who never would be missed i who

never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who

write for autographs
All people who have flabby hands and

irritating laughs
All children who are up in dates, and

floor you with 'em flat
All persons who in shaking hands, shake

hands with you like that
And all third persons who on spoiling

tete-a-tetes insist
They'd none of 'em be missed 'they'd

none of 'em be missed!
CHOKTJS: He's got 'em on the list 'he's got

'em on the list;

And they'll none of 'em be missed

they'll none of 'em be missed !

Ko: There's the nigger serenader, and the

others of his race,
And the piano-organist I've got him

on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and

puff it in your face,
They never would be missed they

never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusi
astic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country

but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who

dresses like a guy,
And "who doesn't think she dances, but

would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady

novelist -
I don't think she'd be missed I'm

sure she'd not be missed !
CHORUS : He's got her on the list he's got her

on the list;

And I don't think she'll be missed -
I'm sure she'll not be missed!

THE MIKADO

11

Ko: And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just

now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist I've got him

on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns

of private life
They'd none of 'em be missed they'd

none of 'em be missed!
And apologetic statesmen of a compro
mising kind,

Such as what d'ye call him Thing-'em-

bob, and likewise never mind,

And 'St 'st 'st and What's-his-

name, and also You -know -

who

The task of filling up the blanks I'd

rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you

put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed

they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS: You may put 'em on the list, etc.
(Exeunt CHORUS. Enter POOH-BAH.)
Ko: Pooh-Bah, it seems that the festivities
in connection with my approaching marriage
must last a week. I should like to do it hand
somely, and I want to consult you as to the
amount I ought to spend upon them.

POOH: Certainly. In which of my capaci
ties? As First Lord of the Treasury, Lord
Chamberlain, Attorney-General, Chancellor of
the Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Sec
retary?

Ko: Suppose we say as Private Secretary.
POOH: Speaking as your Private Secretary,
I should say that as the city will have to pay
for it, don't stint yourself, do it well.

Ko: Exactly as the city will have to pay
for it. That is your advice.

POOH : As Private Secretary. Of course you
will understand that, as Chancellor of the Ex
chequer, I am bound to see that due economy
is observed.

Ko: Oh! But you said just now "don't
stint yourself, do it well,"
POOH: As Private Secretary.
Ko: And now you say that due economy
must be observed.

POOH : As Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Ko: I see. Come over here, where the
Chancellor can't hear us. (They cross the

stage.) Now, as my Solicitor, how do you ad
vise me to deal with this difficulty?

POOH: Oh, as your Solicitor, I should have
no hesitation in saying "chance it "

Ko: Thank you. (Shaking his hand) I
will.

POOH: If it were not that, as Lord Chief
Justice, I am bound to see that the law isn't
violated.

Kp : I see. Come over here, where the Chief
Justice can't hear us. (They cross the stage.)
Now, then, as First Lord of the Treasury?

POOH: Of course, as First Lord of the
Treasury, I could propose a special vote that
would cover all expenses, if it were not that,
as Leader of the Opposition, it would be my
duty to resist it, tooth and nail. Or, as Pay
master-General, I could so cook the accounts
that, as Lord High Auditor, I should never dis
cover the fraud. But then, as Archbishop of
Titipu, it would be my duty to denounce my
dishonesty and give myself into my own cus
tody as First Commissioner of Police.

Ko: That's extremely awkward.

POOH : I don't say that all these distinguished
people couldn't be squared; but it is right
to tell you that they wouldn't be sufficiently
degraded in their own estimation unless they
are insulted with a very considerable bribe.

Ko: The matter shall have my careful con
sideration. But my bride and her sisters ap
proach, and any little compliment on your
part, such as an abject grovel in a character
istic Japanese attitude, would be esteemed a
favour.

(Exeunt together. Enter procession of YUM-
YUM'S SCHOOLFELLOWS, heralding YUM- YUM,
PEEP-BO, and PiTTi-SiNG.)

NO, 6. "COMES A TRAIN OF LITTLE

LADIES"
Chorus
GIRLS
Comes a train of little ladies

From scholastic trammels free,
Each a little bit afraid is,

Wond'ring what the world can be!

Is it but a world of trouble

Sadness set to song?
Is its beauty but a bubble

Bound to break ere long?

THE MIKADO

Are its palaces and pleasures

Fantasies that fade?
And the glory of its treasures

Shadow of a shade?

Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under,
- From scholastic trammels free,
And we wonder how we wonder!
What on earth the world can be!

No. 7. "THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM

SCHOOL ARE WE"

Trio and Chorus
YUM-YUM, PEEP-BO, PITTI-SING, and GIRLS

TRIO: Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school!

YUM: Everything is a source of fun. (Chuckle)

PEEP: Nobody's safe, for we care for none!

(Chuckle]

PITTI: Life is a joke that's -just begun!

(Chuckle)

TRIO: Three little maids from school!

(Dancing)

Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary

(Suddenly demure)
Three little maids from school!
YUM: One little maid is a bride, Yum- Yum
PEEP: Two little maids in attendance come
PITTI: Three little maids is the total sum.
TRIO: Three little maids from school!
YUM: From three little maids take one away
PEEP: Two little maids remain, and they *

PITTI: Won't have to wait very long, they

say

TRIO: Three little maids from school!
CHORUS: Three little maids from school!

ALL: (dancing)

Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary

TKLO: (suddenly demure)

Three little maids from school!

ALL: Three little maids from school!

(Enter Ko-Ko and POOH-BAH.)

Ko: At last, my bride that is to be! (About
to embrace her)

YUM: You're not going to kiss me before all
these people!

Ko: Well, that was the idea.

YUM: (aside to PEEP-Bo) It seems odd,
doesn't it?

PEEP: It's rather peculiar.

PITTI: Oh, I expect it's all right. Must have
a beginning, you know.

YUM: Well, of course I know nothing about
these things; but I've no objection if it's usual.

Ko: Oh, it's quite usual, I think. Eh, Lord
Chamberlain? (Appealing to POOH-BAH)

POOH: I have known it done. (Ko-Ko em
braces her.)

YUM: Thank goodness that's over! (Sees
NANKI-POO and rushes to him) Why, that's
never you! (The THREE GIRLS rush to him and
shake his hands, all speaking at once.)

YUM: Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't seen

you for ever so long, and I'm right at the

top of the school, and I've got three prizes,

and I've come home for good, and I'm not

going back any more!

PEEP: And have you got an engagement?

Yum-Yum's got one, but she doesn't like it,

and she'd ever so much rather it was you.

I've come home for good, and I'm not going

back any more!

PITTI: Now tell us all the news, because

you go about everywhere, and we've been at

school, but, thank goodness, that's all over

now, and we've come home for good, and

we're not going back any more!

(These three speeches are spoken together in
one breath.)

Ko : I beg your pardon. Will you present
me?

f YUM: Oh, this is the musician who used
\ PEEP: Oh, this is the gentleman who used
[ PITTI: Oh, it is only Nanki-Poo who used

Ko : One at a time, if you please.

YUM: Oh, if you please, he's the gentleman
who used to play so beautifully on the on
the

PITTI: On the Marine Parade.

YUM: Yes, I think that was the name of the
instrument.

THE MIKADO

13

NANKI: Sir, I have the misfortune to love
your ward, Yum- Yum oh, I know I deserve
your anger!

Ko: Anger! not a bit, my boy. Why, I love
her myself. Charming little girl, isn't she?
Pretty eyes, nice hair. Taking little thing, al
together. Very glad to hear my opinion backed
by a competent authority. Thank you very
much. Good-bye. (To PisH-Tusn) Take him
away. (Pisn-TusH removes him.}

PITTI: (who has been examining POOH-BAH)
I beg your pardon, but what is this? Cus
tomer come to try on?

Ko : That is a Tremendous Swell.

PITTI: Oh, it's alive. (She starts back in
alarm.)

POOH: Go away, little girls. Can't talk to
little girls like you. Go away, there's dears.

Ko: Allow me to present you, Pooh-Bah.
These are my three wards. The one in the
middle is my bride-elect.

POOH : What do you want me to do to them?
Mind, I will not kiss them.

Ko: No, no, you shan't kiss them: a little
bow a mere nothing you needn't mean it,
you know.

POOH: It goes against the grain. They are
not young ladies, they are young persons.

Ko: Come, come, make an effort, there's a
good nobleman.

POOH: (aside to Ko-Ko) Well, I shan't
mean it. (With a great effort) How de do,
little girls, how de do? (Aside) Oh, my pro-
toplasmal ancestor!

Ko: That's very good. (Girls indulge in
suppressed laughter.)

POOH : I see nothing to laugh at. It is very
painful to me to have to say "How de do, little
girls, how de do?" to young persons. I'm not
in the habit of saying "How de do, little girls,
how de do?' to anybody under the rank of a
Stockbroker

Ko: (aside to girls) Don't laugh at him,
he can't help it he's under treatment for it.
(Aside to POOH-BAH) Never mind them, they
don't understand the delicacy of your position.

POOH: We know how delicate it is, don't we?

Ko: I should think we did! How a noble
man of your importance can do it at all is a
thing I never can, never shall understand.
(Ko-Ko retires up and goes off.)

No. 8. "SO PLEASE YOU, SlR, WE MUCH

REGRET 5 '

Quartet and Chorus

YUM- YUM, PEEP-BO, PITTI-SING, POOH-BAH,

and GIRLS

YUM, PEEP, and PITTI:

So please you, Sir, we much regret
If we have failed in etiquette
Towards a man of rank so high
We shall know better by and by.

YUM:

But youth, of course, must have^its fling,
So pardon us,
So pardon us,
PITTI :

And don't, in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us,
Be hard on us,

If we're inclined to dance and sing.
Tra la la, etc. (Dancing)

CHORUS OF GIRLS:
But youth, of course, etc.

POOH :

I think you ought to recollect

You cannot show too much respect

Towards the highly titled few;

But nobody does, and why should you!

That youth at us should have its fling,

Is hard on us,

Is hard on us;
To our prerogative we cling

So pardon us,

So pardon us,
If we decline to dance and sing.

Tra la la, etc. (Dancing)

CHORUS OF GIRLS:

But youth, of course, etc.

(Exeunt all but YUM- YUM. Enter NANKI-
Poo.)

NANKI: Yum- Yum, at last we are alone! I
have sought you night and day for three
weeks, in the belief that your guardian was
beheaded, and I find that you are about to be
married to him this afternoon!

YUM: Alas, yes!

NANKI: But you do not love him?

YUM: Alas, no!

NANKI: Modified rapture! But why do you
not refuse him?

14

THE MIKADO

YUM: What good would that do? He's my
guardian, and he wouldn't let me marry you.

NANKI: But I would wait until you were of
age!

YUM: You forget that in Japan girls do not
arrive at years of discretion until they are fifty.

NANKI: True; from seventeen to forty-nine
are considered years of indiscretion.

YUM: Besides a wandering minstrel, who
plays a wind instrument outside tea-houses, is
hardly a fitting husband for the ward of a Lord
High Executioner.

NANKI: But (Aside) Shall I tell her?
Yes! She will not betray me! (Aloud) What
if it should prove that, after all, I am no mu
sician!

YUM: There! I was certain of it, directly
I heard you play!

NANKI: What if it should prove that I am
no other than the son of his Majesty the
Mikado?

YUM: The son of the Mikado! But why is
your Highness disguised ? And what has your
Highness done? And will your Highness
promise never to do it again?

NANKI: Some years ago I had the misfor
tune to captivate Katisha, an elderly lady
of my father's Court. She misconstrued my
customary affability info expressions of affec
tion, and claimed me in marriage, under
my father's law. My father, the Lucius Juni-
us Brutus of his race, ordered me to marry her
within a week, or perish ignominiously on the
scaffold. That night I fled his Court, and,
assuming the disguise of a Second Trombone,
I joined the band in which you found me when
I had the happiness of seeing you! (Approach
ing her)

YUM: (retreating) If you please, I think
your Highness had better not come too near.
The laws against flirting are excessively severe.

NANKI: But we are quite alone, and nobody
can see us.

YUM: Still, that doesn't make it right. To
flirt is capital.

NANKI: It is capital!

YUM: And we must obey the law.

NANKI: Deuce take the law!
YUM: I wish it would, but it won't!

NANKI: If it were not for that, how happy
we might be!

YUM: Happy indeed!

NANKI: If it were not for the law, we should
now be sitting side by side, like that. (Sits by
her)

YUM: Instead of being obliged to sit half a
mile off, like that. (Crosses and sits at other
side of stage)

NANKI: We should be gazing into each
other's eyes, like that. (Approaching and gaz
ing at her sentimentally)

YUM: Breathing sighs of unutterable love
like that. (Sighing and gazing lovingly at him)

NANKI: With our arms round each other's
waists, like that. (Embracing her)

YUM: Yes, if it wasn't for the law.
NANKI: If it wasn't for the law.

YUM: As it is, of course we couldn't do any
thing of the kind.

NANKI: Not for worlds!

YUM: Being engaged to Ko-Ko, you know!

NANKI: Being engaged to Ko-Ko!

No. 9. "WEKE YOU NOT TO Ko-Ko
PLIGHTED"

Duet
YUM- YUM and NANKI-POO

NANKI: Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted,

I would say in tender tone,
"Loved one, let us be united
Let us be each other's own!"
I would merge all rank and station,

Worldly sneers are naught to us,
And, to mark my admiration,
I would kiss you fondly thus

(Kissing her)

{ YUM : He would kiss me fondly thus 1 / ^ * x
\ NANKI : I would kiss you fondly thus / ^ w *'

YUM: But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko,
To embrace you thus, con/woco,
Would distinctly be no gioco 9
And for that I should get toco,

BOTH: Toco, toco, toco, toco!

THE MIKADO

15

NANKI: So, in spite of all temptation,

Such a theme I'll not discuss,
And on no consideration

Will I kiss you fondly thus

(Kissing her)

Let me make it clear to you,
This is what I'll never do,

This, oh, this oh, this oh, this
(Kissing her)
BOTH: This, oh, this etc.

(Exeunt in opposite directions. Enter Ko-
Ko.)

Ko: (looking after YUM- YUM) There she
goes ! To think how entirely my future happi
ness is wrapped up in that little parcel! Real
ly, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matri
mony! -(Enter POOH-BAH and PiSH-Tusn.)
Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soli-
oquizing? You have interrupted an apostro
phe, sir!

PISH: I am the bearer of a letter from his
Majesty, the Mikado.

Ko: (taking it from him reverentially) A
letter from the Mikado! What in the world
can he have to say to me? (Reads letter) Ah,
here it is at last! I thought it would come
sooner or later! The Mikado is struck by the
fact that no executions have taken place hi
Titipu for a year, and decrees that unless some
body is beheaded within one month, the post
of Lord High Executioner shall be abolished,
and the city reduced to the rank of a village!

PISH: But that will involve us all in irre
trievable ruin!

Ko: Yes. There is no help for it, I shall
have to execute somebody at once. The only
question is, who shall it be?

POOH: Well, it seems unkind to say so, but
as you're already under sentence of death for
flirting, everything seems to point to you.

Ko: To me? What are you talking about?
I can't execute myself.

POOH: Why not?

Ko: Why not? Because, in the first place,
self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not
to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in
the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital
offence.

POOH: That is so, no doubt.

PISH: We might reserve that point.

POOH: True, it could be argued six months
hence, before the full Court.

Ko: Besides, I don't see how a man can cut
off his own head.

POOH: A man might try.

PISH: Even if you only succeeded in cutting
it half off, that would be something.

POOH: It would be taken as an earnest of
your desire to comply with the Imperial will.

Ko: No. Pardon me, but there I am ada
mant. As official Headsman, my reputation is
at stake, and I can't consent to embark on a
professional operation unless I see my way to
a successful result.

POOH: This professional conscientiousness
is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a
very awkward position.

Ko: My good sir, the awkwardness of your
position is grace itself compared with that of a
man engaged in the act of cutting off his own
head.

PISH: I am afraid that, unless you can ob
tain a substitute

Ko: A substitute? Oh, certainly nothing
easier. (To POOH-BAH) Pooh-Bah, I appoint
you Lord High Substitute.

POOH: I should be delighted. Such an ap
pointment would realize my fondest dreams.
But no, at any sacrifice, I must set bounds to
my insatiable ambition!

No. 10. "I AM so PROUD"

Trio
POOH-BAH, Ko-Ko, and Pisn-Tusn

POOH : I am so proud,
If I allowed
My family pride
To be my guide,
Fd volunteer
To quit this sphere,
Instead of you,
In a minute or two.
But family pride
Must be denied,
And set aside,
And mortified.

16

THE MIKADO

Ko: My brain it teems

With endless schemes,
Both good and new,
For Titipu;
But if I flit,
The benefit
That I'd diffuse
The town would lose!
Now every man
To aid his clan
Should plot ajad plan
As best he can.

PISH : I heard one day
A gentleman say
That criminals who
Are cut in two
Can hardly feel
The fatal steel,
And so are slain
Without much pain.
If this is true,
It's jolly for you;
Your courage screw
To bid us adieu.

[POOH: I am so proud, etc.
Ko: My brain it teems, etc.
PISH: I heard one day, etc.

Ko: And so,
Although
I'm ready to go,
Yet recollect
'Twere disrespect
Did I neglect
Tophus effect
This aim direct,
So I object

POOH: And so,
Although
I wish to go,
And greatly pine
To brightly shine,
And take the line
Of a hero fine,
With grief condign
I must decline

PISH: And go

And show
Both friend and foe
How much you dare.
I'm quite aware

It's your affair,

Yet I declare

I'd take your share,

But I don't much care

Ko: So I object
POOH: I must decline

PISH: I'd take your share,

But I don't much care

TRIO: To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark

dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long

lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp

shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a

big black block!
(Exeunt POOH-BAH and Pisn-TusH.)

Ko: This is simply appalling! I, who al
lowed myself to be respited at the last moment,
simply in order to benefit my native town, am
now required to die within a month, and that
by a man whom I have loaded with honours !
Is this public gratitude? Is this (Enter
NANKJ-POO, with a rope in his hands.) Go
away, sir! How dare you? Am I never to be
permitted to soliloquize?

NANKI: Oh, go on don't mind me.

Ko: What are you going to do with that
rope?

NANKI: I'm about to terminate an unendur
able existence.

Ko: Terminate your existence? Oh, non
sense! What for?

NANKI: Because you are going to marry the
girl I adore.

Ko: Nonsense, sir. I won't permit it. I
am a humane man; and if you attempt any
thing of the kind, I shall order your instant
arrest. Come, sir, desist at once, or I sum
mon my guard.

NANKI: That's absurd. If you attempt to
raise an alarm, I instantly perform the Happy
Despatch with this dagger.

Ko : No, no, don't do that. This is horrible !
(Suddenly) Why, you cold-blooded scoundrel,
are you aware that, in taking your life, you
are committing a crime which which which
is Oh! (Struck ly. an idea) Substitute!

THE MIKADO

17

NANKI: What's the matter?

Ko: Is it absolutely certain that you are re
solved to die?

NANKI: Absolutely!

Ko: Will nothing shake your resolution?

NANKI: Nothing.

Ko: Threats, entreaties, prayers -all use
less?

NANKI: All! My mind is made up.

Ko : Then, if you really mean what you say?
and if you are absolutely resolved to die, and
if nothing whatever will shake your determin
ation don't spoil yourself by committing
suicide, but be beheaded handsomely at the
hands of the Public Executioner!

NANKI: I don't see how that would benefit
me.

Ko: You don't? Observe: you'll have a
month to live, and you'll live like a fighting
cock at my expense. When the day comes,
there'll be a grand public ceremonial you'll be
the central figure no one will attempt to de
prive you of that distinction. There'll be a pro
cession bands dead-march bells tolling
all the girls in tears Yum- Yum distracted
then, when it's all over, general rejoicings, and
a display of. fire works in the evening. You
won't see them, but they'll be there all the
same.

NANKI: Do you think Yum- Yum would
really be distracted at my death?

Ko : I am convinced of it. Bless you, she's
the most tender-hearted little creature alive.

NANKI: I should be sorry to cause her pain.
Perhaps, after all, if I were to withdraw from
Japan, and travel in Europe for a couple of
years, I might contrive to forget her.

Ko: Oh, I don't think you could forget
Yum- Yum so easily; and, after all, what is
more miserable than a love-blighted life?

NANKI: True.

Ko: Life without Yum-Yum why, it seems
absurd!

NANKI: And yet there are a good many peo
ple in the world who have to endure it.

Ko: Poor devils, yes! You are quite right
not to be of their number.

NANKI: (suddenly) I won't be of their
number!

Ko: Noble-fellow!

NANKI: I'll tell you how we'll manage it.
Let me marry Yum-Yum to-morrow, and in a
month you may behead me.

Ko : No, no. I draw the line at Yum-Yum.

NANKI: Very good. If you can draw the
line, so can I.. (Preparing rope)

Ko : Stop, stop listen one moment be rea
sonable. How can I consent to your marrying
Yum-Yum if I'm going to marry her myself?

NANKI: My good friend, she'll be a widow in
a month, and you can marry her then.

Ko: That's true, of course. I quite see
that. But, dear me! my position during the
next month will be most unpleasant -most un
pleasant.

NANKI: Not half so unpleasant as my posi
tion at the end of it.

Ko: But dear me! well I agree after
all, it's only putting off my wedding for a
month. But you won't prejudice her against
me, will you? You see, I've educated her to be
my wife; she's been taught to regard me as a
wise and good man. Now I shouldn't like her
views on that point disturbed.

NANKI: Trust me, she shall never learn the
truth from me.

(Enter CHOETJS, POOH-BAH, and PISH-

TUSH.)

No. 11. "WITH ASPECT STERN AND

GLOOMY STRIDE"

Finale of Act I

ENSEMBLE

CHORUS: With aspect stern

And gloomy stride,
We come to learn
How you decide.

Don't hesitate

Your choice to name,
A dreadful fate

You'll suffer all the same.

POOH: To ask you what you mean to do,
we punctually appear.

Ko: Congratulate me, gentlemen, I've

found a Volunteer!

CHORUS: The Japanese equivalent for Hear,
Hear, Hear!

18

THE MIKADO

Ko: (presenting him) Tis Nanki-Poo!
CHORUS: Hail, Nanki-Poo!

Ko: I think hell do?

CHORUS: Yes, yes, he'll do!

Ko: He yields his life if I'll Yum- Yum sm>

. render;
Now I adore that girl with passion

tender,

And could not yield her with a ready will,
Or her allot,
If I did not

Adore myself with passion tenderer still!
(Enter YUM- YUM, PEEP-BO, and PiTTi-SiNG.)
CHORUS: Ah, yes,

He loves himself with passion tenderer

still!

Ko: (to NANKI-POO) Take her she's yours!

(Exit Ko-Ko.)
NANKI: The threatened cloud has passed

away,

YUM: And brightly shines the dawning
day;

NANKI: What though the night may come
too soon,

YUM: There's yet a month of afternoon!

NANKI-POO, POOH-BAH, Pisn-Tusn, YUM-
YUM, PITTI-SING, and PEEP-BO
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,

ALL: With joyous shout and ringing cheer,

Inaugurate their brief career!
PITTI : A day, a week, a month, a year
YUM : Or far or near, or far or near,
POOH: Life's eventide comes much too soon,
PITTI: You'll live at least a honeymoon!

SOLO
POOH: As in a month youVe got to die,

If Ko-Ko tells us true,
Twere empty compliment to cry,

"Long life to Nanki-Poo!"
But as one month you have to live

As fellow-citizen,
This toast with three times three we'll

give:
"Long life to you -till then!"

(Exit, POOH-BAH.)

CHORUS: May all good fortune prosper you,
May you have health and riches,

too,

May you succeed in all you do!
Long life to you till then!

(Dance)
(Enter KATISHA, melodramatically.)

RECITATIVE

KAT. : Your revels cease! Assist me, all of you!
CHORUS: Why, who is this whose evil eyes

Rain blight on our festivities?
KAT.: I claim my perjured lover, Nanki-Poo!
Oh, fool! to shun delights that never

cloy!
CHORUS : Go, leave thy deadly work undone !

KAT. : Come back, oh, shallow fool, come back
to joy!

CHORUS: Away! away! ill-favoured one!

NANKI: (aside to YUM- YUM)

Ah! Tis Katisha,

The maid of whom I told you.

(About to go)
KAT.: (detaining him)

No! You shall not go,

These arms shall thus enfold you!

SONG

KAT. : (addressing NANKI-POO)
Oh fool, that fleest

My hallowed joys!
Oh blind, that seest

No equipoise!
Oh rash, that judgest

From half, the whole!
Oh base, that grudgest
Love's lightest dole!
Thy heart unbind,
Oh fool, oh blind!
Give me ray place,
Oh rash, oh base!

ALL: If she's thy bride, restore her place,
Oh fool, oh blind, oh rash, oh base!
KAT.: (addressing YUM- YUM)
Pink cheek, that rulest

Where wisdom serves!
Bright eye, that foolest

Heroic nerves!
Hose lip, that scornest

Lore-laden years!
Smooth tongue, that warnest

Who rightly hears!

THE MIKADO

19

Thy doom is nigh,
Pink cheek, bright eye!
Thy knell is rung,
Rose lip, smooth tongue!
ALL: If true her tale, thy knell is rung,

Pink cheek, bright eye, rose lip, smooth

tongue!
PITTI: Away, nor prosecute your quest

From our intention, well expressed,

You cannot turn us!
The state of your connubial views
Towards the person you accuse

Does not concern us!
For he's going to marry Yum- Yum
ALL : Yum- Yum !
PITTI: Your anger pray bury,

For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb
ALL : Cumb cumb !
PITTI: And join our expressions of glee.

On this subject I pray you be dumb
ALL: Dumb dumb!
PITTI: You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny
The word for your guidance is "Mum"
ALL : Mum mum !
PITTI: There's lots of good fish in the sea!
ALL: On this subject we pray you be dumb,
etc.

SOLO

KAT.: The hour of gladness
Is dead and gone;
In silent sadness

I live alone!
The hope I cherished

All lifeless lies,
And all has perished

Save love, which never dies!
Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue!
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue.
1*11 tear the mask from your disguising!
NANKI: (aside) Now comes the blow!
KAT.: Prepare yourselves for news surprising!
NANKI: (aside) How foil my foe?
KAT.: No minstrel he, despite bravado!
YUM: (aside, struck by an idea)
Ha! ha! I know!
KAT.: He is the son of your

(NANKi-Poo, YUM-YUM, and CHORUS, in
terrupting, sing Japanese words, to drown her
voice.)

O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

KAT. : In vain you interrupt with this tornado !

He is the only son of your
CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!
KAT.: I'll spoil

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!
KAT.: ^ your gay gambado!

He is the son

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!
KAT.: of your

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!
KAT. : the son of your

CHORUS- O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Oya, Oya!
KAT.: Ye torrents roar!

Ye tempests howl!
Your wrath outpour
With angry growl!
Do ye your worst, my vengeance-call
Shall rise triumphant over all!
ALL: We'll hear no more,

Ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar,

Despite your scowl;
The echoes of our festival
Shall rise triumphant over all!
KAT. Prepare for woe,

Ye haughty lords,
At once I go

Mikado- wards.
ALL: Away you go,

Collect your hordes;
Proclaim your woe
In dismal chords.

YUM: We do not heed their dismal sound.
NANKI: For joy reigns everywhere around.
BOTH : The echoes of our festival

Shall rise triumphant over all!
CHORUS: We'll hear no more,,

Ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar,
Despite your scowl!

KAT.: My wrongs with vengeance shall be

crowned!

ALL: We do not heed their dismal sound,
For joy reigns everywhere around!

(KATISHA rushes furiously up-stage 9 clearing
the crowd away right and left, finishing on steps
at the back of stage.)

END OF ACT I

20

THE MIKADO

ACT II

SCENE: Ko-Ko's Garden. YUM- YUM dis
covered seeded at her boudoir table, surrounded by
maidens, who are dressing her hair and painting
her face and lips, as she judges the effect in a
mirror.

No. 12. "BRAID THE RAVEN HAIR"

Opening Chorus and Solo

Prrri-SiNG and GIBLS

CHORUS: Braid the raven hair

Weave the supple tress
Deck the maiden fair

In her loveliness
Paint the pretty face

Dye the coral lip
Emphasize the grace

Of her ladyship!
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.

PITTI-SING: Sit with downcast eye '

Let it brim with dew
Try if you can cry

We will do so, too. .
When you're summoned, start

Like a frightened roe >
Flutter, little heart,

Colour, come and go!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride.

CHORUS: Braid the raven hair, etc.
(Exeunt PITTI-SING, PEEP-BO, and CHORUS.)

YUM: Yes, I am indeed beautiful ! Some
times I sit and wonder, in my artless Japanese
way, why it is that I am so much more attrac
tive than anybody else in the whole world.
Can this be vanity? No! Nature is lovely
and rejoices in her loveliness. I am a child of
Nature, and take after my mother.

No. 13. "THE STJN, WHOSE RAYS ABE
ALL ABLAZE"

Song
YUM-YUM

The sun, whose rays
Are all ablaze

With ever-living glory,
Does not deny
His majesty

He scorns to tell a story!

He won't exclaim,
"I blush for shame,

So kindly be indulgent";
But, fierce and bold,
In fiery gold,

He glories all effulgent.

I mean to rule the earth,

As he the sky
We really know our worth,

The sun and I!

Observe his flame,
That placid dame,

The moon's Celestial Highness;
There's not a trace
Upon her face

Of diffidence or shyness:
She borrows light
That, through the night,

Mankind may all acclaim her!
And, truth to tell,
She lights up well;

So I, for one, don't blame her.

Ah, pray make no mistake,

We are not shy;
We're very wide awake,

The moon and I!

(Enter PITTI-SING and PEEP-BO.)

YUM: Yes, everything seems to smile upon
me. I am to be married to-day to the man I
love best, and I believe I am the very happiest
girl in Japan!

PEEP: The happiest girl indeed, for she is
indeed to be envied who has attained happi
ness in all but perfection.

YUM: In "all but" perfection?

PEEP: Well, dear, it can't be denied that
the fact that your husband is to be beheaded
in a month is, in its way, a drawback. It does
seem to take the top off it, you know.

PITTI: I don't know about that. It all
depends!

PEEP: At all events, he will find it a draw
back.

PITTI: Not necessarily,
pends!

Bless you, it all de-

THE MIKADO

YUM: (in tears) I tkink it very indelicate
of you to refer to such a subject on such a day.
If my married happiness is to be to be

PEEP: Cut short.

YUM: Well, cut short in a month, can't
you let me forget it? (Weeping)

(Enter NANKI-POO, followed by PisH-Tusn.)

NANKI: Yum- Yum in tears and on her
wedding-morn!

YUM: (sobbing) They've been reminding
me that in a month you're to be beheaded!
(Bursts into tears)

PITTI: Yes, we've been reminding her that
you're to be beheaded. (Bursts into tears)

PEEP: It's quite true, you know, you are to
be beheaded! (Bursts into tears)

NANKI: (aside) Humph! How some bride
grooms would be depressed by this sort of
thing! (Aloud) A month? Well, what's a
month? Bah! These divisions of time are
purely arbitrary. Who says twenty-four hours
make a day?

PITTI: There's a popular impression to that
effect.

NANKI : Then we'll efface it. We'll call each
second a minute each minute an hour each
hour a day and each day a year. At that rate
we've about thirty years of married happiness
before us!

PEEP: And, at that rate, this interview has
already lasted four hours and three-quarters!

(Exit PEEP-BO.)

YUM: (still sobbing) Yes. How time flies
when one is thoroughly enjoying oneself!

NANEJ: That's the way to look at it! Don't
let's be downhearted! There's a silver lining
to every cloud.

YUM: Certainly. Let's let's be perfectly
happy! (Almost in tears)

PISH: By all means. Let's let's thoroughly
enjoy ourselves.

PITTI: It's it's absurd to cry! (Trying to
force a laugh)

YUM: Quite ridiculous! (Trying to laugh)
(All break into a forced and melancholy laugh.}

No. 14. "BRIGHTLY DAWNS OUR
WEDDING DAY"

Madrigal

YUM- YUM, PITTI-SING, NANKI-POO, and
PISH-TUSH

Brightly dawns our wedding day;

Joyous hour, we give thee greeting!

Whither, whither art thou fleeting?
Fickle moment, prithee stay!

What though mortal joys be hollow?

Pleasures come, if sorrows follow:
Though the tocsin sound, ere long,
Ding dong! Ding dong!

Yet until the shadows fall

Over one and over all,

Sing a merry madrigal:
Fa la, Fa la, etc.

Let us dry the ready tear,

Though the hours are surely creeping,

Little need for woeful weeping,
Till the sad sundown is near.

All must sip the cup of sorrow

I to-day, and thou to-morrow :
This the close of every song,
Ding dong! Ding dong!

What though solemn shadows fall,

Sooner, later, over all,

Sing a merry madrigal:
Fa la, Fa la, etc. (Ending in tears)

(Exeunt PITTI-SING and Pisn-TusH.)

embraces YuM-YuM, ,Enter
Ko-Ko. NANKI-POO releases YUM- YUM.)

Ko: Go on don't mind me.

NANKI: I'm afraid we're distressing you.

Ko: Never mind, I must get used to it.
Only please do it by degrees. Begin by putting
your arm around her waist. (NANKi-Poo does
so.) There! let me get used to that first.

YUM: Oh, wouldn't you like to retire? It
must pain you to see us so affectionate
together!

Ko: No, I must learn to bear it! Now oblige
me by allowing her head to rest on your shoul
der.

NANKI: Like that? (He does so. Ko-Ko is
much affected.)

Ko: I am much obliged to you. Now kiss
her! (He does so. Ko-Ko writhes wiih anguish.)
Thank you it's simple torture!

THE MIKADO

YUM: Come, come, bear up. After all, it's
only for a month.

Ko: No. It's no use deluding oneself with
false hopes.

NANKI and YUM: What do you mean?

Ko: (to YUM- YUM) My child my poor
child! (Aside) How shall I break it to her?
(Aloud) My little bride that was to have
been

YUM: (delighted) Was to have been?
Ko: Yes, you never can be mine!

NANKI: \,. , N f What!
YTTM: ) <* *> { I' m so glad-!

Ko: Fve just ascertained that, by the
Mikado's law, when a married man is be
headed his wife is buried alive.

NANKI and YUM: Buried alive!

Ko: Buried alive. It's a most unpleasant
death.

NANKI: But whom did you get that from?

Ko: Oh, from Pooh-Bah. He's my solici
tor.

YUM: But he may be mistaken!

Ko: So I thought; so I consulted the At
torney-General, the Lord Chief Justice, the
Master of the Rolls, the Judge Ordinary, and
the Lord Chancellor. They're all of the same
opinion. Never knew such unanimity on a
point of law in my life!

NANKI: But stop a bit! This law has never
been put in force.

Ko: Not yet. You see, flirting is the only
crime punishable with decapitation,' and
married men never flirt.

NANKI: Of course, they don't. I quite for
got that! Well, I suppose I may take it that
my dream of happiness Is at an end!

YUM: Darling I don't want to appear sel
fish, and I love you with all my heart I don't
suppose I shall ever love anybody else half as
much 'but when I agreed to marry you my
own I had no idea pet that I should have
to be buried alive in a month!

NANKI: Nor I! It's the very first I've heard
or it!

YUM: It it makes a difference, doesn't it?

NANKI: It does make a difference, of course.

YUM: You see -burial alive -it's such a
stuffy death.

NANKI: I call it a beast of a death.
YUM: You see my difficulty, don't you?

NANKI: Yes, and I see my own. If I insist
on your carrying out your promise, I doom you
to a hideous death; if I release you, you marry
Ko-Ko at once.

No. 15. "HEBE'S A HOW-DE-DO!"

Trio
YUM- YUM, NANKI-POO, and Ko-Ko

YUM: Here's a how-de-do!

If I marry you,

When your time has come to perish,
Then the maiden whom you cherish

Must be slaughtered, too!

Here's a how-de-do!

NANKI : Here's a pretty mess !

In a month, or less,
I must die without a wedding!
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding

Witness my distress,

Here's a pretty mess!

Ko: Here's a state of things!

To her life she clings!
Matrimonial devotion
Doesn't seem to suit her notion

Burial it brings!

Here's a state of things!

TKIO: With a passion that's intense

I \

You } worship and adore,

But the laws of common sense

We 1

You i oa Sktn*t to ignore

'Tis death to marry you!
Here's a pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!
(Exit YUM- YUM.)

Ko: (going up to NANKI-?OO) My poor boy,
I'm really very sorry for you.

NANKI: Thanks, old fellow. I'm sure you
are.

Ko: You see I'm quite helpless.

THE MIKADO

NANKI: I quite see that.

Ko: I can't conceive anything more dis
tressing than to have one's marriage broken
off at the last moment. But you shan't be
disappointed of a wedding you shall come to
mine.

NANKI: It's awfully kind of you, but that
impossible.

Ko: Why so?
NANKI: To-day I die.
Ko: What do you mean?

NANKI: I can't live without Yum- Yum-
This afternoon I perform the Happy Despatch*

Ko: No, no pardon me I can't allow
that.

NANKI: Why not?

Ko : Why, hang it all, you're under contract
to die by the hand of the Public Executioner
in a month's time! If you kill yourself, what's
to become of me? Why, I shall have to be
executed in your place!

NANKI: It would certainly seem so!

(Enter POOH-BAH.)
Ko: Now then, Lord Mayor, what is it?

POOH: The Mikado and his suite are ap
proaching the city, and will be here in ten
minutes.

Ko: The Mikado! He's coming to see
whether his orders have been carried out! (To
NANKI-POO) Now look here, you know this
is getting serious a bargain's a bargain, and
you really mustn't frustrate the ends of justice
by committing suicide. As a man of honour
and a gentleman, you are bound to die ignomin-
iously by the hands of the Public Executioner.

NANKI: Very well, then behead me.

Ko: What, now?

NANKI: Certainly; at once.

POOH: Chop it off! Chop it off!

Ko: My good sir, I don't go about prepared
to execute gentlemen at a moment's notice.
Why, I never even killed a blue-bottle!

POOH: Still, as Lord High Executioner

Ko: My good sir, as Lord High Executioner
I've got to behead him in a month. I'm
not ready yet. I don't know how it*s done.
I'm going to take lessons. I mean to begin

with a guinea pig, and work my way through
the animal kingdom till I come to a Second
Trombone. Why, you don't suppose that, as
a humane man, I'd have accepted the post of
Lord High Executioner if I hadn't thought the
duties purely nominal? I can't kill you I
can't kill anything! I can't kill anybody!
(Weeps)

NANKI: Come, my poor fellow, we all have
unpleasant duties to discharge at times; after
all, what is it? If I don't mind, why should
you? Remember, sooner or later it must be
done.

Ko: (springing up suddenly) Must it? I'm
not so sure about that!

NANKI: What do you mean?

Ko : Why should I kill you when making an
affidavit that you've been executed will do just
as well? Here are plenty of witnesses the
Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Com-
mander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the
Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury,
and Chief Commissioner of Police.

NANKI: But where are they?

Ko: There they are. They'll all swear to it
won't you? (To POOH-BAH)

POOH: Am I to understand that all of us
high Officers of State are required to perjure
ourselves to ensure your safety!

Ko: Why not? You'll be grossly insulted,
as usual.

POOH: Will the insult be cash down, or at
a date?

Ko: It will be a ready-money transaction.

POOH: (aside) Well, it will be a useful
discipline. (Aloud) Very good. Choose your
fiction/and I'll endorse it! (Aside) Ha! ha!
Family Pride, how do you like that, my buck?

NANKI : But I tell you that life without Yum-
Yum

Ko: Oh, Yum- Yum, Yum- Yum! Bother
Yum- Yum! Here, Commissionaire (to POOH-
BAH), go and fetch Yum- Yum. (Exit POOH-
BAH.) Take Yum- Yum and marry Yum- Yum,
only go away and never come back again. (En-
ter POOH-BAH with YUM- YUM.) Here she is.
Yum- Yum, are you particularly busy?

YUM: Not particularly.

THE MIKADO

Ko: You've five minutes to spare?
YUM: Yes.

Ko: Then go along with his Grace the
Archbishop of Titipu; he'll marry you at once.

YUM: But if I'm to be buried alive?

Ko: Now, don't ask any questions, but do
as I tell you, and Nanki-Poo will explain all.

NANKI: But one moment

Ko: Not for worlds. Here comes the Mika
do, no doubt to ascertain whether I've obeyed
his decree; and if he finds you alive I shall
have the greatest difficulty in persuading him
that I've beheaded you. (Exeunt NANKI-?OO
and YUM- YUM, followed by POOH-BAH.) Close
thing that, for here he comes! (Exit Ko-Ko.
Enter procession, heralding MIKADO, with
KATISHA.)

No. 16. "Mi-YA SA-MA"
March of the Mikado's Troops, Chorus, and

Duet .
MIKADO, KATISHA, GIHLS, and MEN

CHOBUS: Mi-ya sa-ma, mi-ya sa-ma,
On n'm-ma no maye ni
Pira Pira suru no wa
Nan gia na
Toko tonyare tonyare na!

DUET
MIK. : From every kind of man

Obedience I expect;
I'm the Emperor of Japan
KAT. : And I'm his daughter-in-law elect !

He'll marry his son
(He's only got one)
To his daughter-in-law elect.

MIK.: My morals have been declared
Particularly correct ;

KAT. : But they're nothing at all, compared
With those of his daughter-in-law

elect.

Bow 'Bow
To his daughter-in-law elect.

CHORUS: Bow Bow

To his daughter-in-law elect.

MIK.: In a fatherly kind of way

I govern each tribe and sect,
All cheerfully own my sway
KAT. : Except his daughter-in-law elect!

As tough as a bone,

With a will of her own,
Is his daughter-in-law elect.

MIK. : My nature is love and light

My freedom from all defect

KAT. : Is insignificant quite.

Compared with his daughter-in-
law elect!
Bow Bow

To his daughter-in-law elect.
CHORUS: Bow Bow

To his daughter-in-law elect.

NO. 17. "A MOKE HUMANE MlKADO"

Solo and Chorus
MIKADO, GIRLS, and MEN

MIK.: A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobody second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.
My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the

crime,

The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merri
ment,
Of innocent merriment!

All prosy dull society sinners,
Who chatter and bleat and bore,
Are sent to hear sermons
From mystical Germans
Who preach from ten till four.
The amateur tenor, whose vocal

villainies
All desire to shirk,

Shall, during off-hours,
Exhibit his powers
To Madame Tussaud's waxwork
The lady who dyes a chemical yellow,
Or stains her grey hair puce,
Or pinches her figger,
Is blacked like a nigger
With permanent walnut juice.
The idiot who, in railway carriages,

THE MIKADO

Scribbles on window-panes,
We only suffer
To ride on a buffer

In Parliamentary trains.

My object all sublime, etc.

CHORUS: His object all sublime, etc.

The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.
The music-hall singer attends a series
Of masses and fugues and "ops"
By Bach, interwoven
With Spohr and Beethoven,
At classical Monday Pops.
The billiard-sharp whom anyone

catches,

His doom's extremely hard
He's made to dwell
In a dungeon cell
On a spot that's always barred.
And there he plays extravagant

matches

In fitless finger-stalls,
On a cloth untrue,
With a twisted cue
And elliptical billiard balls.

My object all sublime* etc.

CHORUS: His object all sublime, etc.

(Enter POOH-BAH, Ko-Ko, and PrrTi-SiNG.
All kneel. POOH-BAH hands a paper to Ko-Ko.)

Ko: I am honoured in being permitted to
welcome your Majesty. I guess the object of
your Majesty's visit your wishes have been
attended to. The execution has taken place.

MTK.: Oh, youVe had an execution, have
you?

Ko: Yes. n The Coroner has just handed me
his certificate.

POOH: I am the Coroner. (Ko-Ko hands
certificate to MIKADO.)

MIK.: And this is the certificate of his
death. (Reads) "At Titipu, in the presence
of the Lord Chancellor, Lord Chief Justice,
Attorney General, Secretary of State for the
Home Department, Lord Mayor, and Groom
of the Second Floor Front' 5

POOH: They were all present, your Majesty.
I counted them myself.

MIK. : Very good house. I wish I'd been
in time for the performance.

Ko: A tough fellow he was, too -a man of
gigantic strength. His struggles were terrific.
It was really a remarkable scene.

MIK. : Describe it.
No. 18. "THE CRIMINAL CRIED AS HE

DROPPED HIM DOWN'*

Trio and Chorus
Ko-Ko, PITTI-SING, POOH-BAH, GIELS, and

MEN

Ko: The criminal cried, as he dropped him

down,

In a state of wild alarm
With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown,

I bared my big right arm.
I seized him by his little pig-tail,
And on his knees fell he,

As he squirmed and struggled,
And gurgled and guggled,
I drew my snickersnee!
Oh, never shall I
Forget the cry,

Or the shriek that shrieked he,
As I gnashed my teeth,
When from its sheath
I drew my snickersnee!

CHORUS: We know him well,

He cannot tell
Untrue or groundless tales

He always tries

To utter lies,
And every time he fails.

PITTI: He shivered and shook as he gave the

sign

For the stroke he didn't deserve;
When all of a sudden his eye met mine,

And it seemed to brace his nerve;
For he nodded his head and kissed his

hand,

And he whistled an air, did he,
As the sabre true
Cut cleanly through
His cervical vertebrae!
When a man's afraid,
A beautiful maid
Is a cheering sight to see;
And it's oh, I'm glad
That moment sad
Was soothed by sight of me!

THE MIKADO

CHORUS: Her terrible tale

You can't assail,
With, truth it quite agrees;

Her taste exact

For faultless fact
Amounts to a disease.

POOH: Now though you'd have said that head

was dead

(For" its owner dead was lie),
It stood on its neck, with a smile well

bred,

And bowed three time to me!
It was none of your impudent off-hand

nods,

But as humble as could be;
For it clearly knew
The deference due
To a man of pedigree!
And it's oh, I vow,
This deathly bow
Was a touching sight to see;
Though trunkless, yet
It couldn't forget
The deference due to me!

CHORUS: This haughty youth,

He speaks the truth
Whenever he finds it pays;

And in this case

It all took place
Exactly as he says!

ALL : Exactly as he says ! (Exeunt CHOBUS.)

MJK.: All this is very interesting, and I
should like to have seen it. But we came about
a totally different matter. A year ago my son,
the heir to the throne of Japan, bolted from
our Imperial Court.

Ko: Indeed! Had he any reason to be dis
satisfied with his position?

KAT. : None whatever. On the contrary, I
was going to marry him yet he fled!

POOH: I am surprised that he should have
fled from one so lovely!

KAT.: That's not true.
POOH: No!

KAT. : You hold that I am not beautiful be
cause my face is plain. But you know noth
ing; you are still unenlightened. Learn, then,
that it is not in the face alone that beauty is. to
be sought. My face is unattractive!

POOH: It is.

KAT. : But I have a left shoulder-blade that
is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles
to see it. My right elbow has a fascination
that few can resist.

POOH: Allow me!

KAT. : It is on view Tuesdays and Fridays,
on presentation of visiting card. As for my
circulation, it is the largest in the world.
Observe this ear.

Ko: Large,

KAT.: Large? Enormous! But think of its
delicate internal mechanism. It is fraught
with beauty! As for this tooth, it almost
stands alone. Many have tried to draw it,
but in vain.

>Ko: And yet he fled!

MIK.: And is now masquerading in this
town, disguised as a Second Trombone.

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: A Second Trombone!

MIK.: Yes; would it be troubling you too
much if I asked you to produce him? He goes
by the name of

KAT.: Nanki-Poo.
MIK.: Nanki-Poo.

Ko : It's quite easy that is, it's rather dif
ficult. In point of fact, he's gone abroad!

MIK.: Gone abroad? His address!
Ko: Knightsbridge!

KAT.: (who is reading certificate of death)
Ha!

MIK.: What's the matter?

KAT.: See here his name Nanki-Poo
beheaded this morning. Oh, where shall I
find another! Where shall I find another!

(Ko-Ko, POOH-BAH, and Prra-SiNG/aK on
their knee*.)

MIK.: (looking at paper) Dear, dear, dear!
this is very tiresome. (To Ko-Ko) My poor
fellow, in your anxiety to carry out my wishes
you have beheaded the heir to the throne of

Ko: I beg to offer an unqualified apology.

POOH: I desire to associate myself with
that expression of regret.

THE MIKADO

PITTI: We really hadn't the least notion

MIK.: Of course you hadn't. How could
you? Come, come, my good fellow, don't dis
tress yourself it was no fault of yours. If a
man of exalted rank chooses to disguise him
self as a Second Trombone, he must take the
consequences. It really distresses me to see
you take on so. I've no doubt he thoroughly
deserved all he got. (They rise.)

Ko: We are infinitely obliged to your
Majesty

PITTI: Much obliged, your Majesty.

POOH: Very much obliged, your Majesty.

MIK.: Obliged? not a bit. Don't mention
it. How could you tell?

POOH: No, of course we couldn't tell who
the gentleman really was.

PITTI: It wasn't written on his forehead,
you know.

Ko : It might have been on his pocket-hand
kerchief, but Japanese don't use pocket-hand
kerchiefs! Ha! ha! ha!

Mm.: Ha! ha! ha! (To KATISHA) I forget
the punishment for compassing the death of
the Heir Apparent.

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Punishment! (They
drop down on their knees again.}

MIK.: Yes. Something lingering, with
boiling oil in it, I fancy. Something of that
sort. I think boiling oil occurs in it, but I'm
not sure. I know it's something humorous,
but lingering, with either boiling oil or melted
lead. Come, come, don't fret 'I'm not a bit
angry.

Ko: (in abject terror) If your Majesty will
accept our assurance, we had no idea-
Mix. : Of course i
PITTI: I knew nothing about it.
POOH: I wasn't there.

MIK.: That's the pathetic part of it. Un
fortunately, the fool of an Act says "compass
ing the death of the Heir Apparent". There's
not a word about a mistake

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: No!

MIK. : Or not knowing

Ko: No!

MIK. : Or having no notion

PITTI: No!

MIK: Or not being there

POOH: No!

MIK.: There should be, of course

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Yes!

MIK. : But there isn't.

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Oh!

Mik.: That's the slovenly way in which
these Acts are always drawn. However,
cheer up, it'll be all right. I'll have it altered
next session. Now, let's see about your
execution will after luncheon suit you? Can
you wait till then?

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Oh, yes we can
wait till then!

MIK. : Then we'll make it after luncheon.

POOH: I don't want any lunch.

MIK.: I'm really very sorry for you all,
but it's an unjust world, and virtue is trium
phant only in theatrical performances.

No. 19. "SEE HOW THE FATES THEIR
GIFTS ALLOT"

Glee

MJKADO, PITTI-SING, POOH-BAH, Ko-Ko, and
KATISHA

MJK.: See how the Fates their gifts allot,
For A is happy, B is not.
Yet B is worthy, I dare say,
Of more prosperity than A.

Ko, POOH, and PITTI:

Is B more worthy?

KAT. : I should say

He's worth a great deal more than A.

QUINTET : Yet A is happy !
Oh, so happy!

Laughing, Ha! ha!

Chaffing, Ha! ha!

Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!

Ko, POOH, and PITTI:

If I were Fortune which I'm not
B should enjoy A's happy lot,
And A should die in miserie
That is, assuming I am B.

MJK. and KAT.: But should A perish?

Ko, POOH, and PITTI:
That should he,
(Of course, assuming I am B.)

THE MIKADO

QUINTET: B should be happy!
Oh, so happy!

Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
But condemned to die is he,
Wretched meritorious B!

(Exeunt MIKADO and KATISHA.)
Ko: Well, a nice 1 mess you've got us into,
with your nodding head and the deference due
to a man of pedigree!

POOH: Merely corroborative detail, in
tended to give artistic verisimilitude to an
otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.

PITTI: Corroborative detail indeed! Cor
roborative fiddlestick!

Ko: And you're just as bad as he is with
your cock-and-a-bull stories about catching
his eye and his whistling an air. But that's
so like you! You must put in your oar!
POOH: But how about your big right arm?
PITTI: Yes, and your snickersnee!
Ko: Well, well, never mind that now.
There's only one thing to be done. NanM-Poo
hasn't started yet -he must come to life again
at once. (Enter NANKI-POO and YUM- YUM,
prepared for journey.) Here he comes. Here,
Nanki-Poo, I've good news for you you're
reprieved.

NANKI: Oh, but it's too late. I'm a dead
man, and I'm off for my honeymoon.

Ko: Nonsense! A terrible thing has just
happened. It seems you're the son of the
Mikado.

NANKI: Yes, but that happened some time
ago.

Ko: Is this a time for airy persiflage? Your
father is here, and with Katisha!

NANKI: My father! And with Katisha!
Ko: Yes, he wants you particularly.
POOH: So does she.
YUM: Oh, but he's married now.

Ko: But, bless my heart! what has that to
do with it?

NANKI: Katisha claims me in marriage, but
I can't marry her because I'm married al
readyconsequently she will insist on my
execution; and if I'm executed, my wife will
have to be buried alive*

YUM: You see our difficulty.

Ko: Yes. I don't know what's to be done.

NANKI: There's one chance for you. If you
could persuade Katisha to marry you, she
would have no further claim on me, and in
that case I could come to life without any fear
of being put to death.

Ko: I marry Katisha!

YUM: I really think it's the only course.

Ko: But, my good girl, have you seen her?
She's something appalling!

PITTI: Ah! that's only her face. She has a
left elbow which people come miles to see!

POOH: I am told that her right heel is much
admired by connoisseurs.

Ko: My good sir, I decline to pin my heart
upon any lady's right heel.

NANKI: It comes to this: while Katisha is
single, I prefer to be a disembodied spirit.
When Katisha is married, existence will be as
welcome as the flowers in spring.

No. 20. "THE FLOWERS THAT BLOOM
IN THE SPRING"

Song

NANKI-POO, Ko-Ko, YUM- YUM, PITTI-SING,
and POOH-BAH

NANKI: The flowers that bloom in the spring,

Tra la,

Breathe promise of merry sun
shine
As we merrily dance and we sing,

Tra la,
We welcome the hope that they bring,

Tra la,

Of a summer of roses and wine.
And that's what we mean when we say

that a thing
Is welcome as flowers that bloom in

the spring,
Tra la la la la, etc.

NANKI, YUM, POOH, and PITTI:
Tra la la la la, etc.
Ko: The flowers that bloom in the spring,

Tra la,

Have nothing to do with the case.
I've got to take under my wing,

Tra la,
A most unattractive old thing,

Tra la,
With a caricature of a face.

THE MIKADO

And that's what I mean when I say, or

I sing,
"Oh, bother the flowers that bloom in

the spring",
Tra la la la la, etc.

(Dance and exeunt NANKI-POO, YUM- YUM,
POOH-BAH, PiTTi-SiNG, and Ko-Ko. Enter
KATISHA.)

No. 21.

"ALONE, AND YET ALIVE !"
Recitative and Song
KATISHA

Alone, and yet alive! Oh, sepulchre!
My soul is still my body's prisoner!
Remote the peace that Death alone can give
My doom, to wait! my punishment, to live!

SONG

Hearts do not break!
They sting and ache
For old love's sake,

But do not die,
Though with each breath
They long for death,
As witnesseth

The living I.

Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,

When hope is gone,

Dost thou stay on?

Why linger here,

Where all is drear?
Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,

When hope is gone,

Dost thou stay on?
May not a cheated maiden die?

Ko: (entering and approaching her timidly)
Katisha!

KAT.: The miscreant who robbed me of my
love! But vengeance pursues they are heat
ing the cauldron!

Ko: Katisha behold a suppliant at your
feet! Katisha mercy!

KAT.: Mercy? Had you mercy on him?
See here, you! You have slain my love. He
did not love me, but he would have loved me in
time. I am an acquired taste only the edu
cated palate can appreciate me. I was educat
ing his palate when he left me. Well, he is
dead, and where shall I find another? It takes

years to train a man to love me. Am I to go
through the weary round again, and, at the
same time, implore mercy for you who robbed
me of my prey -I mean my pupil just as his
education was on the point of completion? Oh,
where shall I find another?

Ko: (suddenly, and urith great vehemence)
Here! Here!

KAT.: What! ! !

Ko: (with intense passion) Katisha, for
years I have loved you with a white-hot pas
sion that is slowly but surely consuming my
very vitals ! Ah, shrink not from me ! If there
is aught of woman's mercy in your heart, turn
not away from a love-sick suppliant whose
every fibre thrills at your tiniest touch! True
it is that, under a poor mask of disgust, I have
endeavoured to conceal a passion whose inner
fires are broiling the soul within me. But the fire
will not be smothered -it defies all attempts
at extinction, and, breaking forth, all the more
eagerly for its long restraint, it declares itself
in words that will not be weighed 'that cannot
be schooled that should not be too severely
criticised. Katisha, I dare not hope for your
love but I will not live without it ! Darling!

KAT. : You, whose hands still reek with the
blood of my betrothed, dare to address words
of passion to the woman you have so foully
wronged!

Ko: I do -accept my love, or I perish on the
spot!

KAT.: Goto! Who knows so well as I that
no one ever yet died of a broken heart!

Ko: You know not what you say. Listen!

No. 22. "WILLOW, TIT-WILLOW"

Song
Ko-Ko

On a tree by a river a little torn-tit

Sang, "Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you

sit

Singing 'Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow'?
Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried,
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?"
With a shake of his poor little head he replied,
"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that

bough,
Singing, "Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"

so

THE MIKADO

And a cold perspiration bespangled Ms brow,
Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!

He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,

Then he plunged himself into the billowy
wave,

And an echo arose from the suicide's grave -
"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my
name

Isn't Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow,
That 'twas blighted affection that made him
exclaim,

"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"
And if you remain callous and obdurate, I
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,

"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!"

(During this song KATISHA has been greatly
affected, and at the end is almost in tears.}

KAT.: (whimpering) Did he really die of
love?

Ko: He really did.

KAT.: All on account of a cruel little hen?

Ko: Yes.

KAT.: Poor little chap!

Ko: It's an affecting tale, and quite true.
I knew the bird intimately.

KAT.: Did you? He must have been very
fond of her!

Ko: His devotion was something extraordi
nary.

KAT.: (still whimpering) Poor little chap!
And -and if I refuse you, will you go and do
the same?

Ko: At once.

KAT.: No, no you mustn't! Anything but
that! (Falls on his breast.) Oh, I'm a silly
little goose!

Ko: (making a wry face) You are!

KAT.: And you won't hate me because I'm
just a little teeny weeny wee bit bloodthirsty,
will you?

Ko: Hate you? Oh, Katisha! is there not
beauty even in bloodthirstiness?

KAT.: My idea exactly.

No. 23. "THERE is BEAUTY IN THE

BELLOW OF THE BLAST"

Duet
KATISHA and Ko-Ko

KAT.: There is beauty in the bellow of the

blast,
There is grandeur in the growling of the

gale,

There is eloquent outpouring
When the lion is a-roaring,
And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail.

Ko: Yes, I like to see a tiger

From the Congo or the Niger,
And especially when lashing of his tail.

KAT. : Volcanoes have a splendour that is grim,
And earthquakes only terrify the dolts,
But to him who's scientific
There is nothing that's terrific
In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts.

Ko: Yes, in spite of all my meekness,

If I have a little weakness,
It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts.

BOTH: If that is so,

Sing derry down derry !
It's evident, very,

Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,

And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done.

Ko: There is beauty in extreme old age
Do you fancy you are elderly enough?

Information I'm requesting

On a subject interesting:
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

KAT.: Throughout this wide dominion

It's the general opinion
That she'll last a good deal longer when
she's tough.

Ko: Are you old enough to marry, do you

think?
Won't you wait until you're eighty in the

shade?

There's a fascination frantic
In a ruin that's romantic;
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

KAT.: To the matter that you mention

I have given some attention,
And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

THE MIKADO

31

BOTH: If that is so,

Sing deny down deny!
It's evident, very,

Our tastes are one.
Away well go,

And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done.

(Exeunt together.*)

(Flourish. Enter the MIKADO, attended by
PiSH-Tusn and Court)

MIK.: Now then, we've had a capital lunch,
and we're quite ready. Have all the painful
preparations been made?
PISH: Your Majesty, all is prepared.
MIK. : Then produce the unfortunate gentle
man and his two well-meaning but misguided
accomplices.

(Enter KATISHA, Ko-Ko, PITTI-SING, and
POOH-BAH. They throw themselves at the
MIKADO'S feet.)

KAT.: Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy
for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah!

MIK. : I beg your pardon, I don't think I
quite caught that remark.

POOH : Mercy even for Pooh-Bah.
KAT.: Mercy! My husband that was to
have been is dead, and I have just married
this miserable object.

MIK.: Oh! You've not been long about it!

Ko: We were married before the Registrar.

POOH: I am the Registrar.

MIK.: I see. But my difficulty is that, as
you have slain the Heir Apparent

(Enter NANKI-POO and YUM- YUM. They
kneel.)

NANKI: The Heir Apparent is not slain.

MIK.: Bless my heart, my son!

YUM: And your daughter-in-law elected!

KAT.: (seizing Ko-Ko) Traitor, you have
deceived me!

MIK.: Yes, you are entitled to a little ex
planation, but I think he will give it better
whole than in pieces.

Ko: Your Majesty, it's like this: it is true
that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo

MIK.: Yes, with most affecting particulars.

POOH: Merely corroborative detail intended
to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and

^T r> in you*

oar? (To MIKADO) It's like this : when your

Majesty says, "Let a thing be done", it's
as good as done practically, it is done be
cause your Majesty's will is law. Your Maj
esty says "Kill a gentleman", and a gentle
man is told off to be killed. Consequently,
that gentleman is as good as dead practically
he is dead and if he is dead, why not say so?
MIK.: I see. Nothing could possibly be
more satisfactory!

No. 24. "Fen HE'S GONE AND MARRIED

YUM-YUM"

Finale of Act II

ENSEMBLE

PITTI: For he's gone and married Yum- Yum
CHORUS : Yum- Yum !

PITTI : Your anger pray bury,

For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb '
CHORUS : Cumb cumb !

PITTI: And join our expressions of glee!
Ko: On this subject I pray you be dumb
CHORUS: Dumb dumb!

Ko: Your notions, though many,

Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "Mum"
CHORUS : Mum mum !

Ko: You've a very good bargain in me,
ALL : On this subject we pray you be dumb

Dumb dumb!
We think you had better succumb

Cumb cumb !
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny,
There are lots of good fish in the sea!
NANKI: The threatened cloud has passed away,
YUM: And fairly shines the dawning day;
NANKI: What though the night may come too

soon,

YUM: We've years and years of afternoon!

ALL: Then let the throng

Our joy advance,

With laughing song

And merry dance,

With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their new career!
Then let the throng, etc.

(Curtain)
END OF OPERA

PRINTED IN U.S.A.

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