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TH£ 



M 



MONEYEDilEAN, 



OR, 




THE LESSON OF A LIFE. 




HORACE SMITH, ESQ. 



AUTHOR OF "BRAMBLETTE HOUSE/' dZrC 




IN TWO VOLUMES. 



VOL. I. 



PHILADELPHIA : 

LEA AND BLANCHARD. 

1841. 






i * > 



Ithehewyork' 

IPOBUCUBRARYI 

240973 

jaTOR.ttNOX AND ' 
TILOftN fOUNDATION» 
1901 










V 




i\ 




E. AND L. MERRIAM, PRINTERS, 
WEST BROMKFIELD, UA8S. 



c 



_4^ 



PREFACE. 



It may be right to premise that the following liltTe work 
does not purport to be a Novel running on iaa cqi^tinuous 
stream of narratire, and developing a great variety of char- 
acters through the medium of a regular plot, but an Auto- 
biographical Memoir of an imaginary personage, deriving 
whatever interest it may possess from the fidelity with 
which it seeks to record the successive changes of a single 
mind, from youth to old age. Spoilt by the joint indul- 
gence of a weak mother and an ease-loving father, and 
educated in a blind idolatry of wealth, not as a means only, 
but as an end, the ductile mind of Mark Hawk wood was 
warped from its natural bias by the circumstances in which 
he was originally placed, while it was deeply imbued with 
the narrow prejudices and blind hatreds which, at the pe- 
riod of his youth, had tainted large classes of his contem- 
poraries, literally' frightened out of their wits by the horrors 
of the French Kevolution. From this thraldom, passing 
through many ordeals which quickened the correction of 
his errors, and the maturing of his judgment, he gradually 
emancipated himself; and if the rea'^er, uurevolted by 
the intense selfishness and conceit so uliconsciously exhi- 



IV • PREFACC. 



bited in liis earlier png&Sy will patiently peruse them to the 
end, it is to be hoped that he will not only be reconciled 
to the Auto-biographer, but that he will more fully un- 
derstand the whole scope of the work, and the motires that 
have led to its publication. 



I 
i 

1 
1 






TiHE MONEYED MAN 



CHAPTER I. 

1790. 



"Cbown me, shadow me with laurels" more redundant 
than those which concealed the baldness of the victorious 
CflBsar— salute me with pssans louder than the choral shout 
that glorified Apollo after his destruction of the Python — 
build me a triumphal arch loftier than that set up by Saul 
upon Mount Carmel, when he had exterminated the Ama- 
Idfites : for have I not achieved the great conquest of pri- 
mogeniture — have I not overcome the Python and the Ty- 
phon of the heir-^his hated nonage ? Am I not a partner 
in the first banking-house of the first city in the world — 
Hawkwood, Poole,and Hawk wood ? What magic is there in- 
the sound of that last euphonious addendum ! Ami not the 
heir-at-law, I say, and the partner of the wealthiest man in 
London, the Crcesus of the city, the fortune*favored, gold- 
glutted, money-making, and niany«-wor8hipped banker, Al- 
derman Hawkwood ? Yes, yes, good father mine ! your mo- 
dest disdeimers, your affected complaints of the perils of 
the banking trade, your disinterested advice (oh, how dis- 
interested !) that I should not launch my bark of Fortune 
upon so treacherous a sea, but betake myself to some pro^ 

fession. as a resource from that idleness which is so bazard- 

#1 



i 



6 THB MONETSD MAN. 

0U8 to all, and to none more than to the jroung and theop* 
ulent ; these exhortations might deceive others, but me they 
cannot cajole — me they cannot hoodwink. I am not easi- 
ly imposed upon. While others are beguiled by words, I 
scrutinize motives, penetrate minds ; and I have fathomed 
my worthy father's. If I be not a partner, he can keep all 
^ his enormous fortune in his own hands, until, at the inevi- 
^ table touch of the grisly conjurer — hey ! presto ! pass !— it 
shall be transferred into mine : and so shall he bold me in 
financial subjection so long as it pleaseth him to prosecute 
his earthly pilgrimage to the shrine of Mammon. But this 
suiteth - not me. I would have present power and inde- 
pendence, to console me for the delay of prospective wealth. 
The drudgery of the banking-house I willingly resign to 
the respected author of my being, for, methinks, I am not 
fashioned for such plebeian Helotism ; but the profits, the 
weight, the homage which such a partnership will secure to 
me — these I am not such a dotard as to forego. 

Thus did I argue to myself in answer to the insidious 
dissaasives of my father, as often as they were repeated 
(which was by no means seldom), for I have that proper re- 
liance upon my own good judgment and shrewdness which, 
in weaker minds, might be termed obstinacy and conceit, 
while in my own case it is only a just confidence. I car- 
ried my point, as indeed I have ever done in all con* 
teats with my parents — and, behold ! I have earned my re- 
ward. 

On the day of my majority, the partnership articles were 
signed, sealed, and delivered, and a new brass plate was 
affixed to the door of the banking-house io Threadneedle 
Street, bearing upon it, in legible characters, the proud and 
auspicious inscription of the new firm — Hawk wood, Poole, 
and Hawkwood. 

Owing partly to my mother's temporary absence at Bath 
on account of ill health, and my good father's objection to 
all displays that are not celebrated in honor of himself, the 
festivities usual, upon such joyous occasions were eoacted 
<< with maimed rites." A gratuity of ten guineas was pee- 
sen ted to each of the clerks ; a grand dinner, to which tbe 
principal friends of the house were invited^ was given in 



THE MOHVTED HAN. 7 

Thread needle Sireet ; and roast beef and plom-padding, 
followed bj games-and bon-fires at night, rejoiced the rastics 
in the neighborhood of Beddington Park, my father's resi- 
dence in Surrey. In ttiese common-place rejoicings I bore 
my part with a becoming humility, for I knew that the in- 
terested celebrators sought to gratify themselves rather 
than the ostensible hero of the day ; while I perused with 
a laudable patience and perscTerance some scores of con- 
gratulatory letters, penned by a set of hollow knaves and 
designing women, most devotedly attached to the young 
heir, because they think they can make a gull of him, and 
turn him to account. Let them try ! let them try ! If I am 
elated at having attained an eminence which might well make 
a weak head giddy, it is not that I inhale with anf gratifi- 
cation the fumes of this incense, it is not that I am tickled 
with the sounds of flattery, emptier than the tinkling cym- 
bal ; but I do feel a little vaUi of my sagacity when I reflect 
that I can detect the selfish motives of those who are waving 
the censer beneath my nostrils, and pouring this calculating 
adulation into mine ears. Even from my childhood up- 
wards hav6 both my parents sedulously instilled into my 
expanding mind a distrust of my fellow-creatures. For 
this caution I thank them, since it has taught me to look 
with a due suspicion upon their own motives ; but I need- 
ed it not, for, if 1 know any thing of myself, I am naturally 
keen and penetrative. With such instructors, corroborating 
my own intuitive propensities, I flatter myself that I am 
not very likely to be duped by the Judas kisses of the pros- 
perity-worshippers. 

Well ! the short apotheosis of my majority is over — the 
golden halo that bickers around my head has failed to dazzle 
me, and [ may be allowed to repeat that the parasites, the 
toad-eaters, the designing satelhtes, by whom I have been 
surrounded, have failed in a single instance to deceive or 
to entrap me. Were I disposed to be conceited, I might 
make a boast of this. And now what is my first measure ? 
It has been predicted, I understand, by some of my good- 
natured friends (precious friends, truly !) that I should sig- 
nalize the attainment of my majority by some act of vanity, 
ostentation, or extravagance ; that I should show I had 



8 THE MOMXrEO MAH. 



1' 



come to year» of discretion by some flagrant indiscretion. 
Thanks, gentlemen, for your good opinion, and be assured 
that I reciprocate it most cordially. How stands the tact 2 
My anticipated outbreak of folly resolves itself into a deter* 
mination to imitate some of the most eminent and learned 
men of mpdern times — ^Thuantis, Buchanan, Boetius, Bayle, 
and others, who have been tbeir own historians — to keep, 
in short, an occasional reoord-— not a diary or regular jour- 
nal — thai would be too laborious, even had i materials for 
its pages — but such a register of occurrences, thoughts, 
and impressions, as may not only tend to the refreshment 
of my memory, and the improvement of my mind in after 
years, but may supply authentic dataf should I eventually 
determine on publishing a regular autobiography, or leave 
the task ]|of writing nfy life to some competent successor* 
This is my first youthful indiscretion ! ! 

That my future career should render either of these pro- 
jects a desideratum on the part of the public, may, perhaps, 
be thought questionable, a <loubt which I myself should 
share, if I were simply to be governed by my own estimate 
of my personal claims ; for, whatever may be my defects, 
I cannot accuse myself of egotism or vain-gloriousness. 
No ; I am in this instance influenced t>y the opinion of 
others, and, considering the general envy and illiberality of 
the world, one may safely believe it when it does unwilling 
justi&3 to n>erit by a favorable prognostication. Over and 
over again have I been assured by parties who had no in* 
terest in the augury, and were well able to judge, that^ 
with the unbounded wealth which I must oneiiay inherit, 
with the conspicuous station I am destined to occupy, with 
the great natural talents, and more especially the ready 
eloquence which I possess — an eloquence which, as Coun- 
sellor Bearcroft himself declared at the last meeting of the 
Ciceronians, must have ensured my success bad I been bred 
to the bar, and must command distinction, should I seek 
opportunities for its display in the senate — with these re«.' 
quisites, with this rare union of financial and intellectuay 
power, it has been maintained that I must inevitably be*^; 
come a conspicuous character in the present sara, and per*^ 
haps furnish materials for future hietory. In all humility, I ^^ 



THE MONEYED MAN. 9 

miist confess that I myself see no absolute certainty of this 
pre-eminence, nor, indeed, am I veryBolieitous to attain it. 
If it prove a false prophecy of the aforesaid seers, it is their 
mistake, not mine ; if true, I am abundantly justified, with- 
oat any imputation of presumption, in securing myself 
against misrepresentation by becoming the impartial record- 
er ol my own adventures, acts, and opinions. 

Life does not commence with mere vitality, but with 
physical and mental maturity — with the accomplishment 
of independence, and the means of enjoying it. ^ I have had 
an animal existence for twenty-one years, but I consider 
myself to be beginning the world in this present year of 
grace, 1790. Nevertheless, 1 must say something, howev- 
er slight, of the circumstances of my birth, as well as of my 
long and tedious minority. Oh ! that I could have passed 
as rapidly as I shall dismiss it. 

Thank Heaven ! I am not superstitious. In auguries and 
omens, in dreams, visions, and portents, I have no faith, 
tiot I ; nor am I weak enough to imagine, with Owen Glen- 
dower, that the unusual manifestations which may accom- 
pany a man's birth are to be interpreted as celestial prefig- 
orations of his future destiny. To render such signs indis- 
putable, we must await the '<dignus viddlce nodus" of Ho- 
race. Yet the circumstances that attended my nativity^ 
and others of a similar tendency which have marked diffe- 
rent stages of my youth, are extraordinary^ to say the least 
of them. Owing to a civic tumult, occasioned by the deci- 
sion of the house of commons, which confirmed the elec- 
tion of Mr. Luttrcll, and rejected the notorious demagogue, 
Wilkes, 1 was ushered into this brawling world a month be- 
fore my due time. My -father, a stanch Tory, having in- 
curred the displeasure of the mob by his successful opposi- 
tion to the popular Alderman Sawbridge, the << Liberty 
boys," as they termed themselves, took every opportunity 
of insulting him, and nightly covered the whole tangible 
front of the banking-house with huge chalk figures of 45, 
the number of the libellous North Briton for which their idol 
was so justly expelled the House. 

This obnoxious inscription being replaced as often as it 
was expunged, my father at length ordered that it should 



10 THE XONfcTED MAlf* 

be suffered to remain ; and thus had it continued for sere- 1 u 
ral days, until a rolyntary champion presented himself in 
the person of an enthusiast, called Crasy Cruden, who, in | vi 
his zeal for decorum, and his profound hatred of factious 
democracy, perambulated the streets with a large wetltf 
sponge, obliterating all scrawlings that were offensive tollio 
good manners, and showing no mercy to the chalkings of |(o 
the offensive No. 45. 

VVith gross abuse and angry menaces some of the pa$s* 
ing rabblement ordered him to desist ; several of my fath* 
er's clerks and servants sallied forth to support the stoat 
expunger,.wh6 was too solicitious for the honoi' of niartyrdom 
to be easily daunted; others of the mob gathered to their 
comrades, a clamerous scuffle ensued, missiles flew about, 
the windows of the banking-house weri^ broken, my mother 
was frightened by the uproar, and I was somewhat prema^ 
turely hastened into this " miserable vale of tears," as Crazy 
Cruden would have called it,* amid the crash of broken glass; 
and the clamor of a brutal populace. Fortunately I was no 
sufferer by this hasty summons into existence, for I proved 
to be a large and healthy infant^ and grew as regularly in 
strength as in years. My mother, indeed, attrtbuled the 
mental precocity, for which I was always remarkable, to 
the circumstances of my birth ; but J should rather Imve 
inferred a contrary deduction as the most likely result from 
such premises. 

A later period witnessed another imminent peril of my 
minority. I had, been to see the Leverian Museum in 
Blackfriars ^oad| and was crossing the bridge on my re^ 
turn, when theprogr^s of the numerous waggons, carria* 
ges, and passengers, was suddenly arro^ied by the ctosing 
of the gates at either end, and, ere I could ask a questiof^ 

. * It will hardly be suspected that the party thus disrespectfully deaigotted 
" Crazy Cruden was the compiler of one of the most laborious, accurate, and usefi 
works in the English language, the " Concordance of the Bible." After having bee] 
three times in confinement for insaoiiy, and treated, if we may, credit his own ao*; 
count, with an unnecessary severity, no carried on business is'a bookseller under^: 
the Royal Exchange ; but, bacomino embarrasMd in his affairs, he sank irio dettl 
nondency, which gradually deepened into a strange hallucination. tmaginin|| 
nimislf to be divinely commiskipned, and to be clearly prefigured in the books oF< 
prophecy, he assumed the titH ^Alexander the Corr«etor, and, among other eccen»^ 
trie occu;>ations, all incLicative of^.pure and benevolent mind, he betook himself tQi. 
the street reformation mentioned ib the text; He died in 1770. — Ed, 



/ 



k 



V 



^ 



THB MONEYED |(AN. 11 

- • .... 

te fo the cause of this blockade, I was surrouitded and hus- 
tled by a mdee of furious and Yociferotts combatants^ armed 
with clubs, staves/cutiasses, and other weapons. After a 
short but fierce conflict, one of the parties gave way, and I 
was running off in nn opposite direction, ^hen a horseman, 
harrying to escape from the'conflict,4cnocked me down and 
rode oyer me. 

Stunned for the moment, I might pefha|)s'. h ave been 
trampled to death, but for the interference of a lair, thin, 
fashionably attired man, who, with great presence of mind, 
darted into the road, and dragged me to one of the recesses 
of the Bridge/where, having ascertained that none of my 
bones were broken, although I was severely brltised,. he re- 
commended me to remain till the hubbub was over, and hur- 
ried away to effect his own escape before 1 had expressed 
half the gratitude I felt for the assistance he had so oppor- 
taneij rendered me. As soon as the gates were again open- 
ed, I made the best of my way home, when I discovered 
tiiat I had been robbed, doubtless in tlie first hustling, of 
my watch and my purse. 

The excise officers, as I afterwards learned, having re- 
ceived intelligence that anumerotis gang of smugglers, with 
a' train of carts and waggons from the coast, might be ex- 
pected to cross the bridge at a certain hour, mustered a 
iBtrong force for the purpose of intercepting them, and had 
no sooner caught them in the trap, than they closed the 
gates to prevent escape, and proceeded to seize their spoil. 
Well armed and accustomed to desperate encounters, the 
smugglers defended their contraband wares, but were quick- 
ly compelled to fly, for a small detachment of soldiers had 
been provided to support the excisemen, so that the scuflSe 
e&ded more quickly, and with less mischief, than might 
have been anticipated. It was one of the smuggling ras- 
cals that rode over me, and I have had an instinctive horror 
of the whole tribe ever since. 

Of these siniister omens and premonitions, as a credulous 

man might think them, the most awful is now developing 

itself, for lo ! my non-age expires amid all the horrors of 

^ the French Revulution — horrors which are the natural, I 

might almosf say the merited^ result of a mis-placed lenity 



I 



12 TH£ MONSTED MAN. 

and forbearance. Had the first demagogues of the pro 
cial and metropolitan parliaments been gagged and sec 
prison to keep company with all the seditious scribblel 
the press, a corrective for which the constitution had nr 
express provision by the salutary power of the lettrei 
cachet, had the laws been rigorously enforced, had the s 
fold and the gibbet been kept in constant activity boti 
the capital and the provinces, had the tumultuous ass 
blages of the Parisian and other mobs been unsparingly 
to pieces by the sabres of loyal cavalry, the bayonets ol 
faithful Swiss, and repeated discharges of grape-shot f 
a well-served artilleiy, we should never have witnessed 
sanguinary enormities which have converted France in 
vast slaughter-house, and make us shudder every time 
we take up a newspaper. The miseries of that cou 
might easily have been foreseen by any enlightened obs 
er of her history for the last ten or twenty years ; but 
some strange infatuation, kings and ministers seem aSvi 
take warning till it is too late. 

That the dangers to which my youth was thcfis sue 
sively exposed, dangers so different in the mode of t 
occurrence, and yet so similar in their source, weresp^ 
manifestations of any divine purpose connected with 
future fate, I do not venture to assert; but inost wiilii 
and thankfully do 1 accept them as warningsagainst 
spurious patriotism of demagogues, against popular tu 
lence^ factious, democratical insolence, and all that poli 
licentiousness which arrays the lower orders against 1 
superiors, if they be not rigorously kept within their pn 
limits, and bound down, hand and foot, by the stern I 
tures of law. My education has taught me to abhor in 
ordination, disaffection, revolutionary clamor, upstart 
tensions on the part of the rabble, and all relaxation ol 
restraints which our glorious constitution (the envy and 
miration of surrounding nations) has provided for the < 
finecnent of the ignorant classes to their proper sphei 
lessons which have been indelibly impressed upon my n 
by the perils I have just been describing, all of which < 
inated with the " profanum vulgus," or their still more 
testable leaders. 



THB ME^KETBD UkVf. 13 



CHAPTER II. 

L— CONTIWtJE©. 



What trifles, what frivolous inanitiesi have some p$tU' 
maitre biographers thought it worth their while to commit 
to paper ! How has it availed the world to know that Caesar 
was bald, that Alexander was wry-necked, that Cromwell 
had a wart upon his cheek ? The historian of Cujas, the 
celebrated lawyer, enlightens os by the information that he 
was remarkable for two things — first, that he studied, lying 
on a carpet; secondly, that his perspiration difiused an 
agreeable odor ; t peculiarity which he shared with the 
*' Emathian madman."--^Baillet has recorded the all-import- 
ant fact that Descartes was very particular about his wigs, 
of which he always kept four, manufactured at Paris— thai 
be wore green taffety in France, and broadcloth in Holland 
• — ^and, though last j not leasts that he was very fond of om- 
elets ! De Wit's biographer is, perhaps, excusable for the 
little personality by which we are apprised that he was care- 
ful of his health and negligent of his life ; though the asser- 
tion may possibly have been made for the sake of the an- 
tithesis, a point being of more importance than a fact to 
many writers. It is positively maintained by Menage's his- 
torian — and we have no reason to doubt the averment — 
that l^e wore a great many stockings ; and we have recent- 
ly acquired the momentous knowledge that Dr. Johnson 
was accustomed to cut his nails to the quick ! 

Autobiographers, as might have been expected, have 
been still more prone to this besetting sin. One, after 
thanking God that he was bo|;n a Catholic and a Frenchman, 
a man, and not a womatf,' "proceeds to give his readers a 
minute description of his person, and to describe the feats 
of agility that he performed at scfaool. M^tesqaieu rivals 

VOL. I. 8 



f 



14 TUm MONVnBD lOfr* 

bis countrymen in these personal details ; and Rtfassetu, 
rather than not talk of himself, favors us with a full, truCj 
and particular account of all his vices, a subject which, in 
his case, was not easily exhausted. Lord Herbert of Cher« 
bury was vain enough to believe that he received a special 
revelation ffom Heaven, commanding him to publish a book, 
stuffed full of fantaslio egotism and false opinions. Were 
I tainted with any of this overweening self-conc^t, how 
easily might it he indolgody -fnerely by recording the cackling 
boasts of my parents ; for my father, himself a short man, 
and, therefore, the more amazed at a moder^rte d^^tee of 
procerity in his oi&pringf seemed nevef tired of annouficii^ 
to his friends that I was nearly siifeet high ; whiWmygood 
mother was npt less dogmatical thfm incessant in her asser- 
tions that, as I was in my pro8pecl8'Ooet)f the first yeuag 
men in the city, so was I in appearatice «ne of the hand- 
somest and most fariiionable. In Ibest moodM^mdeed, she 
would not hesitate to aver that Iwaff quite as elegant -and 
as weli'dressed iis the Prinee of Wal^s, that 1 carried B»y 
ckapeau bra$ as gracefully, and that I decidedly possessed 
a finer-looking bead of bair^ especially wben it had been 
curled and powdered by Monsieur Mauibert, who waa^ oc- 
casionally summoned fromBory Street for that especial pur- 
pose. How little do parents suspect that upon these oc- 
casions all their bragadocios are4>ut self-love at second-haad I 
Vanity assumes so many disguises that it sometimes requiif^i: 
no small share of penetralton to detect it. Fathers and 
mothers, one would think, might easily see, that to praise 
their own children is somewhat akin to the disinterested 
eulogy of authors upon their own works. ; 

Todoasy father justice, he mostly eopfined his vaunts 
to my perscmal altitude, attaching but Utde importance to 
the accademical distinctions which I. achieved ut the<]3)after 
House. For this omission, however^ my mother Buidt 
ample amends, publishing |o every visitant, and prficlaiming 
to every corre8;pondent, the prizes I gained' for Latin and 
Greek exercises — the poise I had made by a ridiculous eat- 
ire, written when I was only thirteen years of age, and bjr 
various epigram9 and short poems which I composed some 
few yee^s i^terwtrds. Some of tls^ese juvenile productions 



JimX, UAKKtMB mjksi. L5 



appearad in the St. JmaesVChronteieyOihera Wi the Morn, 
log Herald, and tlie WhitebaU Evening Post ^ but, as several 
years have elapsed siace their publicationi and many inac- 
curate copies are circalating among my mother's friends, I 
think it right to insert them here in their eorrect form, as 
origioally writteo.'f^ 

Beyond the distincliom and prizes to which I have al- 
ready alluded as an Jaexfaaustible subject of boasting with 
my mother, (for I myself should hardly have thought them 
worth recording), I need not make much reference to my 
school days. The low, gloomy buildings of the Charter 
House ; its dull, old*&thioned, silent, square ; the discol- 
ored, sickly-looking trees ; the dingy sparrows hoping 
mournfully among the smoke-dried leaves, however well 
they might have assorted with the Carthusian Friars of the 
olden times, were but melancholy objects for a schoolboy, 
confined to a strict disdpline amid their murkey precincts. 
Nor was it particularly exhilareting to reflect that the play- 
ground had originally been a oemetry, wherein fifty thou- 
sand persons had been interred at the time of the great 
pbgue, and over whose bones we were trundling our hoops, 
or playing at leapfrog. One sometimes hears a grave old 
.Pf>loniu8, after shaking his empty head, declare that his 
school .days were the iiappiest of his life. What cant and 
humbug 1 These dotards, these laudatcres temparis actij 
only praise the past that they may have an excuse for un« 
gratefully decrying the present. If I thought my future 
course were not to be happier than my school experiences, 
I should not desiderate a very lengthened lease of existence. 

And yet few victims to the hateful privations, the sicken- 
ing annoyances, the hardships, the trials, the tyranny and 
sufferings, and toils and drudgeries, that form the usual 
doom of a schoolboy, possessed more redeeming advan- 
tages than myself. The head-master, an old friend of our 
family, being often involved m pecuniary difficulties, gener- 
ally betook himself to my father for some temporary ac- 
eommodation, never forgetting to grant me a few indulgen- 

* Although these JuTenilia indicate a. certain degree of precocity, and might have 
possessed some temporary interest, they present so little attraction for the reader of 
the |>r9i«nt 4ayi that I have not hesitated to mippresa them« £d. 



I 



u 




■r WKf fpoA coodocfi 

■rtiactable. 

■ly qoick I 

to iIk nptdit j of oiy I 

ebokoramemeot 

iksl I riMMild be nx 

J GUfied fail 

any mother, 

aod amate 

these qvalities with 

ol' my eo9snr, 

of whom he 

dttil ia opacity, and 

touching the 

herself 




gentility of 

the iDcowibfe nl^axity aad iioni 
Matthew Phimmer, aaoihcr of h 
ipoke with a coBtemploowi pity 
totally oapoiishable io 
right chord. My father's 

by marrying a tobaceooist ia the Botoagh, was not Tisited : 
by her family ; and my amther, whohad rcaUy some excose 
for the feeling, ainee ^e had aobfe blood io her ¥eios, bad 
imbibed soch an abaolate hatred of the Pfaimmers, oo ae- 
count of their comparatively humble statioo, that she ooald 
hardly bear the mention of their names. Gaess her indig- 
nation, then — her incredulity at first, and subsequently her 
rankling wrath, when she learnt that these despised tobac* 
conists had presumed tosond lAeir son to associate with her 
son at the Charter House ! 

Her first impulse was to remove me from the school ; bat, 
as they might wear the appearance of yielding the field of 
battle, and as she reflect^, moreover, that my unwelcome 
relative might follow me to another seminary, she turned 
her thoughts towards the possibility ofprocuring my cousin's 
espulsion, and actually sounded the master upon the sub- 
ject* The pedagogue, however, had no wish to lose a scho- 
ar whose half yearly bills were paid with the utmost punct- 
uality ; but, b]f biotiog that her wishes might be gratified 
whenever a fair opportunity occurred, and by playing upon 
her double foible of partiality for her son, and dislike, 
not to say hatred, of her nephew, he invariably succeed- 
ed in obtaining, through her influence with my fatheri 



\ 



THlE MONBTfiD MAN. , 17 

cash for his note of hand, at a long date, for three or four 
hundred pounds. Little did my good mother suspect, as 
she suffered these circumstances to transpire in my hearing, 
that, young as I tlien was, I had penetration enough to de- 
tect the bidden motives of all parties, and to laugh in my 
sleeve at the insight thus obtained into the craftiness and 
the foibles of poor human nature. 

Foremost among (he reconciling circumstances of my 
school-days, much as I detested (hat period in general, must 
be reckoned the command of money which I constantly en- 
joyed, throtigh the kindness of my mother. It washer 
opinion, and a sound one, too, that wealth and noble birth 
should be made to challenge respect, even from our earliest 
days, as the most likely mode of counteracting that spirit of 
insolence, insut>ordination, and equality, which is now pro- 
ducing such dire eflfects in France, and which traitors and 
brawling demagogues are laboring to introduce into (his free 
and happy country. Often have I heard her observe (hat the 
velvet caps and gold lufts of our college aristocracy exercise 
an extensive influence in securing a due reverence for their 
order, and thus contribute to the stability of our institutions, 
the peace of the community, and the maintenance of our 
unrivaled constitution. 

On my mother's side, 1 had a claim, although a some- 
what remote one, to noble birth-— on my father's, to un- 
questionable wealth ; and, however the former might be 
ridiculed by my schoolfellows, they were by no means insen- 
sible to the latter distinction, especially when they saw my 
purse so well prepared to support my claims. The gratifi- 
cations, amusements, and little distinctions which money 
can procure, being the only ones adapted to the taste of 
boys, they are naturally worshippers of Mammon : the hom- 
age, therefore, that I obtained by the startling display of my 
guineas was at first unbounded, and I took good care to 
exact the full measure of their deference while my pockets 
were full, for I invariably found that their friendship and 
their respect began to wane when it was ascertained that I 
had changed my last piece of gold ; so sordid and calculat- 
ing were the majority of my young companions ! I saw 
through their mean motires, and despised them accordingly. 

8* 



18 TUft ttONBTEBl MAH; 

My command of money procured me, howerer, tvro most 
essential and lasting gratifications. It enabled me to pur« 
chase an early exemption from the syslem of fagging, and 
to procure a master's right over my cousin Plummer, whom 
I hated, as in filial duty bound, with all the bitterness of 
my parents. Even now I know not what other motive to 
assign for my instinctive antipathy, for I must confess that be 
never gave me any very serious cause of offence^ save that 
he would obstinately persist in calling me " cousin," an ap^ 
peltation tending, as I thought, to lower my dignity, and to 
degrade me in the eyes of my companions. We were An* 
4ipodean, moreover, in all our tastes, aspects, and qualitiesi 
for Plummer was a dull, plain, vulgar-looking, ploddingf: 
mechanical fellow, without a spark of genius, imaginatidfi 
poetry, or vivacity ; acquitting himself of his tasks by mere 
diligence ; never quarrelling, from the phlegmatic coldness 
of his disposition ; and never getting into scrapes, fromi; 
total deficiency in the spirit of enterprize. The young d^ 
mocrat, too, was a Foxite, a Dissenter, an advocate for .the 
repeal of the Test Acts, and for the abolition of the Slave 
Trade, as well as a stubborn maintainer of other pestilent and 
new-fangled doctrines, such as the factious mol>orators and 
jacobins are for ever sputtering forth. Nay, though he con^ 
demned the horrors, he even went so far as to justify the prtQ< 
ciple, of the French revolution ! 

Strange that ideas like these should ever enter the iiea< 
of such a John Trot, obtuse dullard ; but I suppose they hadt^ 
been instilled into him by his low father. Boys as we w&e^' 
we participated in all the political bitterness of our«ideis,> 
and I have often headed a battle array of loyal Pitjijies, 
against a school faction of disaffected Foxites, whoos we 
were generally numerous enough to master, and whom we^ 
never suffered to escape without personal marks of our vic- 
tory. My hatred of Plummer has confirmed me, I am bap« 
py to say, in my political principles, for I should scorn te^ 
belong to a party of which he was a member. It is no bad 
thing to have our convictions thus ratified by our feelings, 
although I am not^^'apt to be wrong in my judgments, either 
of men or tbing&J 

As a proof^ the detestation in which I held the opinions 






TUB MONETBD MAN. 19 

entertained by my coufin, I must confess that I treated him 
with harshness — severity, perhaps, I might say, with occa- 
sional cruelty ; but surely it was right to show my scorn of 
democratic vulgarity. It operated as a salutary example 
ijpon others. He himself bore my tyranny with a most 
provoking fortitude, aggravating instead of appeasing me by 
constantly reminding me that he was my cousin, and had 
done nothing whatever to merit such harsh treatments 
Cousin^ indeed ! Could not the blockhead see that this was 
the worst ofience he could perpetrate ? Mot merited it, for- 
sooth ! What had 1 done to deserve the oppression to 
which I had been obliged to submit, when I myself was a 
Cag? It is the best defence of the system that there can 
be little or no injustice in it, for every boy may take his full 
revenge by inflicting upon another, when he comes to be a 
roaster, the sufferings and wrongs of his own days of slavery. 
How easy is it for a tolerably clear intellect to vindicate a 
practice hallowed for many ages by the approved wisdom 
of our ancestors, and to rebut the preposterous assertion 
that it is only calculated to produce slaves and tyrants. 
This spirit of daring innovation delights to attack all our 
most ancient and revered institutions. 

Since I left the Charter House, I have seen nothing of 
my quondam fag. Doubtless he has been pursuing his 
daily travels from his paternal abode in the Borough to the 
Royal Tobacco Warehouses upon Tower Hill. Dull as he 
|Sy he has wit enough not to court a scornful rebuff by 
knocking at the door of the banking-house. There arc no 
jacobins and levellers, thank God I in our family ; we are 
all advocates for the due subordination and separation of 
ranks and classes : we know what is due to ourselves as 
well as to others, and I, for one, will take due care that this 
worthy first cousin of mine shall be, socially speaking, a 
coQsin once removed. 

It had been my wish, on leaving the Charter House, to 
go to Oxford, for I had received so tempting an account of 
the life of idleness and jovial dissipation led by the colle^ 
gians, that I longed to take a degree among them, and to 
qualify myself for the pleasant office of master of the re« 
vels ; but my father objected that it was not customa^ for 



20 THE JtONeVED UX!f. 

the sons of citizens, unless intended for one of the profes- 
sions, to betake themselves to the University ; adding, that 
all the professors and doctors put together eould not gire 
me such an insight into the banking business as I should 
obtain by a six months' attendance in the counting-house; 
and concluding with the unanswerable argument that he 
himself had never been to college, and had never felt the 
want of it. Perhaps not ; but it might have been difficuh to 
prove that he had never ahoum the want of it, for my strict 
regard to veracity compels me to acknowledge that he pos- 
sesses but little scholarship, although the reserve, and so- 
lemnity of his manner have procured him a certain reputa* I 
tion of that nature, of which he is not slow to take advaa^ 
ta^e. This assumption, however, he exercises with a due 
discretion, having dout)tless discovered that a man may 
safely set up for a Solomon among simpletons, who would 
be set down for a simpleton among wise men. This I 
mention rather in his praise than disparagement, for, whatever 
may be my other defects, I flatter myself I am never defi- 
cient in filial respect. La Bruy^re says, **jL*on nevnni 
dans qe monde que ce qui Von veut valoir.^* Men are 
generally taken at their own valuation, provided it be not 
too high — a fact which will alwaj^ prevent me, I trust, 
from being partial and overweening in forming a self-esti* 
mate. There is no weakness that renders a man so ridigu- 
lous and unpopular as egotism. 

My mother was equally opposed to my going to coHege. 
Born as I was to wealth, and sure to occupy one of the 
most conspicuous stations in the city, what need, she ask-I 
ed, had I of academical acquirements and distinctions be- 
yond those I had already achieved. To those who had 
their way to make in the world they might be a benefit ; to 
ine they could be no advantage in this respect, while they 
might be detrinibntal in others, for she knew several in« 
stances in which young men had ruined their constitutions, 
or acquired incurable habits of tippling, from the consta 
excesses of a college life ! and she attached too much i 
portance to the morals of her son to expose him to unne 
cessary temptation. Bless us ! how pure we all become 
when the path of virtue is the road to self-gratification! 



) 



THE MOKeTSO MAN. 21 

Itfy mother was both proud and fond of me ; she wished 
to have my society at home, or these conscientious sera* 
pies, I suspect, would never hare occurred to her, for, to 
cfo her justice, she is totally free from all sanctimonious and 
puritanical austerity. I saw through her motives, which 
were natural enough ; and as I should the sooner become 
my own master by not going to Oxford, my sense of filial 
duty made me assent, without much difficulty, to the wishes 
of my parents* 

My father, however, deeming me still too young for a 
clerkship in the banking-house, I was placed, for the com-* 
pletion of my education, with a clergyman residing at Wal- 
liogton, close to our country residence of Beddington Park, 
an^arrangement by which my mother was enabled to see 
me, or to have me home as often as she pleased. Mr. HoflT- 
tnan, such was the name of my preceptor, was a very sin- 
gular person ; and, as the circumstance of my having been 
liis pupil may occasion some future reseSrch as to his char- 
acter, I may as well say a few words concerning him, espe- 
cially as he neither expects nor wishes ever to emerge from 
his present obscure and humble station. Not the least of 
his eccentricities is the resignation and even cheerfulness 
with which he lives upon a miserable pittance of £150 or 
£200 a year, refusing, even 'When a better preferment was 
offered him, to quit the parishioners and a neighborhood 
that have become endeared to him. 

No mean proficient himself at cricket and quoits, he de- 
lights to encourage and participate in all the rustic sports 
of his secluded neighborhood ; but his strangest character- 
istic is the mental amalgamation by which he renders a firni 
belief in the t/uths, and an undeviating practice of the du- 
ties, of Christianity compatible with an enthusiaism for all 
the creations of the old classical, mythology, which has tak- 
en sach possession of his imagination as almost to amount 
to «li actual credence in their reality. It might 'be said ihat 
her has two religions, one the result of his sober reason and 
M^tedfiist faith, his guide here and his hope hereafter — 
I^Kreality, in short, which makes him a sound practical 
^iristian ; the other an insubstantial fume of his excitable 
imagination, the ignia/atuua which, deluding him over hill 



#• 



28 TBI MOmVEB MAV. 



and dale, through woods and pasdms, proroptiog hia raver- 
ies by day^ aod his dreams by night, renders him a classical 
visionary and enthusiast — I had almost said a semi*pagao. 
And yet this infatuation, the romance and the delight of 
his existence, never interferes with higher and more aaered 
claims. Miserable as is his curacy, ignorant and clownish 
as are the generality of his bumble flock, his clerical dutiei « 
are discharged not only with strict punctuality and cheer- 
fulness, but with a pious zeal which exhibits in full lustre 
all the beauty of holiness. 

Many a hearty laugh have I enjoyed at his monomania, 
at his fits of absence, and his musings in company— -at his 
over*heard soUloquies and impassioned ejaculations wheo 
he wanders amid groves and meadows, gesticulating and 
pouring forth Greek and Latin quotations in the midst of a 
heavy rain, or wading across the shallows of the river Wan- 
die, in apparent unconsciousness of all elemental annoyanc- 
es. Laugh as I might, I could not help esteeming him, for 
his eccentricities are redeemed by a thorough simplicity and 
guilelessness of character. He may be compared to Doa 
Quixote, who, being a perfect gentleman and a good Chris- 
tian, in the midst of all his crack-brained linight-errantry, 
never forfeits our respect, although he is constantly incur** 
ring our rtdicnie. 

From the strange idiosyncrasy of my preceptor it will 
easiiy-be divined that I gained little in my studies except t 
more perfect apprehension and a keener enjoyment of i 
classics, in which, however, I was already well versed. W^ 
parted upon excellent terms^^ather an unusual occuren 
between tutor and pupil — and I still occasionally ride 
drive over to see him, when I am staying at Beddingto 
Park, for I can respect and even visit a man, though he hsC 
living upon a pittance less than the income of a banker'i 
clerk. 

Hoffman's acumen as a critic is only to be' equalled 
his singular candor and liberality, in which qualities, ra 
as is their conjunction, I have often thought that I bea 
small resemblance to him. Some latent jealousy, how 
must have warped his mind when he declared that I ha 
no talent whatever for mathematics^ merely because I b 



THE MONETBD HAN. fi3 

^ BOt choseof to proseeuie that department of study. Here I 
i may claim, witboat vanity, a superior degree of fairness, for 
I I am qerle willing to admit his proficiency in the classics, 
> ahboogb be thinks proper to deny me all aptitude for the 
' exact sciences. 



CHAPTER HI. 

1790.— CONTINUED. 

Had I been born in Potosi or Peru, ere their Pactoliao 
treasures had been ransacked by the Spaniards ; had I been 
reared in some actual £ldorad<>, richer than ever was con* 
jared ^ip by the dreams of avarice, I should not have better 
claim to golden tastes and visions than I might urge from 
the scenes and experience of my whole nonage, for I was 
tiursed, as it were, in the temple of Plutus, and my father 
might be deemed the high-priest of the wealth-dispeasihg 
deity. Yes ; from my earliest youth have I breathed an 
auriferous atmosphere, and the meanest sounds that pam- 
pered mine ear have beep argentine. 

How well do I recollect my mingled aweoind admiratiofi 
at first sight of the great business-room in the banking- 
hou8e« My ftither, an austere-looking, reserved man, who 
tarely condescended to unbend, even in the bosom of his 
Mrn family, assumed an additional air of solemn importance 
when seated on his banking throne, an elevated high-backed 
chair, and surrounded by his silent deferential clerks. His 
>Mofiamon-colored suit, his gold' knee and shoc-buekles, the 
gold*headed ealie beside Um, his powdered hair, aggrandiz- 
^ by two large cannon curb on either side, and surmount- 
#d by the cocked" hat which be invariably wore, when he 
^j | Mc thus enthroned, as the ^distinguishihg crown and badge 
pIpF his sovereignty, could not be viewM by a young and 
-i^iaccustomed ^ye without a certain reV^ence, especiaHv 
^QiAen the feeling was seen to be shared By ail the adult 
iHNitrshippers of Mammon. 



t< 




24 TBB MORSTCO MAH. 

Mr. Poole, his psrtoery tbone, as became a minor lit 
nary, with a less respkndaot light. His bead and wht 
were profusely powdered, the whitened pomatom 
carefully brought down to a point upon his brown foreheit] 
but he wore no hat, his buckles were silver, and bis man 
when addressing his superior in the firm, was subdued 
obsequious, a constraint for which he indemnified hims^ 
by a burly, magesTerial air towards the clerks. The crowi 
of busy, bustling, anxious-looking moneychangers wM 
passed in and out all day long, many of them bearing large; ' 
leathern cases, which could hardly be clasped from (be 
swelling of the precious bank-notes within them ; the pro- 
found homage of the merchants, brokers, and others, whose 
countenances, as they addressed my father or Mr. Poole, 
wore an ingratiating and favor-bespeaking expression ; the 
plodding industry of the numerous clerks, some perked up 
behind huge ledgers, others turning over and entering piles 
of bills and notes, or ministering at the ever-crowded count- 
er ; the glittering heaps of gold carelessly turned over with 
shovels, or tossed about in heavy bags, as if they were of 
no more value than the shingle-balast of a fishing-smack : 
all this hourly, daily, yearly display of countless opulen 
could not fail to make a profound impression on the im 
nation of a youth, who had been tutored to believe that 
gl-andeur, all happiness, all earthly distinctions, were e 
tefed in the possession of weahh. 

These feelings were heightened into a mingled sensa 
of fear and awe when, as a child, I was taken down intd 
the subterranean strong room, a large fire-proof vault, eo^ 
tirely built of stone. The darkness of the brick stairs by 
which we descended, the dim light shed by the lamp upon 
the frowning arch above, the numerous safes and chests 
below, some filled to the brim with labelled bags of goM 
and silver, or piles of ticketed bank-nc^es, others containing 
the plate of the wealthier citizens, deflosited here as a place 
of unquestioned security — these buri^^yioards of wealtbi 
seen in a species of sepulchre by the.^jP|fe of a lamp, im* 
mediately after leaving the broad Jlgbt of noon, made rey 
young heart beat almost audibljf'ligainst my bosom, and re- 
called to my mind some of ' the^goMen and mysterious tales 



VBS MOMETED MIK. 85 

A bad been reading in the Arabian Nights. So nearly did 

liincy myself in the enchanted cave of one of the genii, 

vespecially uhen, in returning^ the harsh grating of the 

"^ triple^locked iron portal echoed hdorsely from the treasure- 

vault, that I remember to have looked timidly up to the 

face of my conductor, almost expecting to see the hideous 

features of an afrit or a magician. 

The transit, however, from sileneeand darkness to day- 
light and the bustle of business quickly reassured me, and 
I distincily recollect, after the first of these visits, my whis- 
pering into the ear of the old bald-headed clerk who had 
escorted me, *' Mr. Davis ! Mr. Davis ! will all that gold 
Qnd silver ever be mine ?" and his replying, << Ay, Master 
Mark .^ all of it, and perhaps twice as much, some of these 
days ;" an answer which turned my young head at the time, 
though I can now look upon these matters with a philoso- 
phic indifference. 

If my parents wished to train up their child in the way 
be should go, they had indisputably chalked out for me a 

(rolden path. WeH, I shall be enabled to wa^k in it steadi- 
y. These are not the vulgar distinctions ihat will make 
.me giddy. Why sliould I feel any undue exultation, since 
Fortune is a blind goddess ? To my thanks she is welcome, 
but 1 cannot surrender to her by freedom, for I am old 
enough, ay, and wise enough, to know that gold, though a 
good servant, is a bad master. 

And yet these foreshadowings of future splendor were 
not confined, by any means, to my London experiences. 
At Beddington Park every thing wore a similar aspect of 
ostentatious wealth. The mansion itself, an ancient seat of 
the Carew family, with its spacious oaken hall, its panelled 
rooms, and casemented windows, diffused around it a cer- 
tain air of venerable grandeur, which was well sustained by 
the noble park, adorned with avenues of alternate chestnut 
nl^d walnut trees, beneath whose boughs the dappled deer 
were generally grazing or reposing, and whence it was my 
boyish summer pastime to chase them with my bow and ar- 
row^ that I might send theni careering into the distance of 
the demesne. 

. But perhaps our greatest state was put forth when we 
went to church to forswear the pomps^ and vanities of 

TOL. 1. .3 



36 7UC HONETED JfJLK* 

this wicked world. On these occasions ibe pooderom 
coach, gorgeous with polished silver mouldings, and large 
embossed arms of the same precious metal, was drawn by four 
sleek black horses, whose long tails were turned up aod 
secured by straps and plated buckles. By their 8]ow aod 
stately pace the pampered animals seemed to be conscioos 
that they ought to put forth their energies on the app<HOte<l 
day of rest with a dignified rK>nchalance. The substantial 
coachman, his close wig surmounted by a flat three-corner- 
ed hat, and the clustering footmen behind, all in show; 
fiveries, gave a certain pomp to the procession ; while the 
young sqiuire, as I was generally called by the rustics, cara- 
^ol^d around tlie vehicle on a Shetland pony, in all the 
pride of scarlet tunic, feathered hat, and velvet housings. 

An awe-stricken beadle escorted us to the large, curtain- 
ed, and carpeted pew beside the pulpit, whence, when the 
service w^s over, we were ushered back, through a little 
crowd of bowing and curtseying villagers, to our carriage. 
On our arrival at the hall, the solid silver arms, which bad 
Once been wrenched from the panel and stolen, and bad 
since been made removable^ where unhooked and carried 
to the coachman's room ; in recording wbich trifling cir- 
cumstance I may as well mention that our family arms are 
•—argent, on a chevron azure, between three griSina' heads, 
gules, as many hawks, proper — for Hawkwood-^rendpaliog 
— azure, three boars' heads erased, or, for Gordon, which 
was my mother's maiden name. For myself, I look down 
with supreme indiflerence, not to say contempt, upon all 
the feudal foolery of the heralds ; but, as there are maoy 
who still attach importance to these playthings of civilizar'^ 
tion's childhood, it would be ill-nature on my part were i 
to refuse them a gratification so easily accorded, 

I have said tlmt my father is an austere, reserved manj 
devoted to money-getting, having little turn for pl^suries 
of any other sort, and making little allowance for tastes or 
pursuits that diflfer from his own. Yet has he one recrea- 
tion in which he occasionally indulges — he belongs to a 
tbowlmg^club at Islington Spa, whither, when in a gracious 
mood, he has sometimes taken me, that I might pick up his 
bowls for him, either his dignity, or the touches of lunabago 
to which he is subject^ not allowing him to stoop whboat 



TH£ ]p>NETED MAH. 27 

discomposing his feelings. Even upon these ocoasions t 
found that he appreciated bis associates entirely by their 
supposed wealthy and, whenever I testified my boyish ad- 
miration of the best player, he would point to a little awk- 
ward man, who invariably went wide of the jack, and tell 
me in a tone of reverence that be was richer than any three 
of the whole party.* 

I think it will be admitted that, if ever a young man bad 
excuse for the pride of purse, and a blind reverence for 
wraith, I am that individual ; yet am I bound to assert, in 
simple justice to myself, that I have passed through the 
ordeal af these temptations unscathed by their corrupting 
influences. From the infection of vtilgar purse-pride I 
have perchance been saved by a nobler self-estimate. To 
some men it is indispensable* to be worth money, for with- 
out it they would be worth nothing. Vanity apart, I may 
safely say that this observation would be little applicable to 
my case. If I know myself, I have personal recommenda- 
tions and mental acquirements rafAer more valuable than 
the paltry'^dross upon which others pique themselves, and 
which I myself possess, or shall possess, to a greater extent 
than nine-tenths of them, though I scorn to make it my 
boast, or the standard of my worth* 

Before I dismiss the subject of my nonage, I may as well 
record a few of the memorabilia still fresh in my memory, 
which may probably be soon effaced by the busy and bril- 
liant career I am now about to enjoy. These reminiscences 
may be trifling in themselves, but, if measured by the im- 
portance attached to them at the time, they become inter- 
esting as developing the state and progress of the youthful 
mind. 

My earliest childish recoHection is of a visit to Cox's 

* As illuBtratins the civic-manners of the day, the Ekiitor, who was also a boyish 
▼isitant now and tnen to the club ia question, may perhaps b^ allowed to state that 
it consisted chiefly of the leading members of the medical profession, although oth- 
ers were gradually admitted. Their post-prandial meetings were restricted to the 
summer months, and the earliness of the prevalent dinner hour allowed them to as- 
semble at six o'clock, when, after pursuing their oastime till dusk, they look their tea 
in «n a!cove of the ttowliug green, and sepaNtt6d before it was dark. At the period 
in question, several of the professional members Retained their gold-headed canes, 
nor were pig-tailed wigs and cocked-hats altogether discontinued. Contrast this 
simple, healthful, and ^onoraical recreation, (for no belting was practised) enjoyed 
by wnne of the most eminent citizens of ihal day, with the costly and luxurious clubs 
of the present «-a.-^JFd. 



i 



28 THC MONBTBB MAIV. 

> 

mtMeomy io which the object that most absorbed my attoo' 
tion was an immefise barometer, a pretty satisfactory reft* 
tation of Mr. Hoffman's strange notion that I have oo 
natural turn for scientific pursuits. 

It must have been about the seventh year of my age that 
our friend. Alderman Brook Watson, took me to Dmj 
Lane Theatre, to see Garrick's last appearance on thestag^ 
upon which occasion the house was crowded with persons 
of distinction. The character chosen was I>on Fdix, in 
The Wonder, and I doubt not that the acting was worthy 
of the performer's exalted reputation, though it made less 
impression upon me than a circumstance which occurred as 
we were leaving the house. The Alderman's leg having 
been bitten off by a shark while he was bathing in the West 
Indies, its place had been supplied by a wooden one, which 
in the lobby, he inadvertently placed upon the foot of a 
stranger, a fashionably-dressed man, who instantly pushed 
back the unintentional aggressor, exclaiming, with a look 
and in a tone of great anguish, *' Zooks ! Sir, you have 
crushed my toe." 

The alderman expressed his sorrow for the accident, 
when the stranger, with a polite bow that shook the scented 
palvilio from his hair, apologized for his own hasty ejacula- 
tion, which he attributed to the agony of the moment, and, 
with another graceful obeisance, limped away. 

" One of the most polite and elegant gentlemen [ have 
seen for an age," said the alderman. 

^' And how exquisitely dressed !" I added. 

" I have no recollection of his figure, and yet I cannot 
help thinking that I have heard his voice before. Its tone 
IS particularly melodious." 

" If I am not very much mistaken," observed a bysts^nder, 
^* that elegant gentleman with the melodious voice is no 
other than the celebrated, or rather the notorious, Mr. Bar- 
rington, the pickpocket." 

,.,. " The pickpocket !" ejaculated the alderman, at the sai 
time putting his hand to his fob, and exclaiming — ' 
heavens ! my gold repeater is gone ! the villain must have 
taken it, for I heard it strike only a minute before he f^ 
against me." . 1, 

'^ And in that minute," responded his colloquist, '< h^^ 
must have concocted and executed the whole scheme fof^ 



» 

getting possession of it. What promptitude ! what pre- 
sence of mind ! Yen have at least the consolation of 
knowing that yoa have been robbed by a man of genius." 

So far from finding any comfort in this reflection, the in- 
furiated alderman was about to rush forward in pursuit of 
the thief, when he was reminded, by the same party, that a 
man of genius never keeps histiooty about him, but imme<^ 
diately hands it over to some unknown and unsuspected 
confederate. My plundered companion, nevertheless, 
stumped forward in pursuit with all the energy that bis 
wooden leg would permit ; but it is scarcely necessary to 
add that he got no further glimpse of the "polite and ele- 
gant gentleman." - 

My first visit to the gallery of the House of Commons 
was made eight or nine years ago, when Mr. Pitt, then out 
of office, brought forward a motion in favor of Parliamentary 
Reform, which was very properly negatived. By a benefi- 
cent dispensation of Providence he is now the minister, I 
may say the main pillar, safeguard, and glory, the decuset 
tutamen of this beleaguered country, for whose salvation, 
in a frnancial sense, he devised the enlightened and felici- 
tous scheme of the Sinking Fund. I was in the gallery 
when he propounded it, and never, never shall I forget the 
enthusiasm with which it was received, nor the glowing 
eloquence with which, in the proud consciousness that his 
great discovery would immortalize him, he expatiated on 
its inappreciable importance to the nation. 

<' By the simple operation of compound interest," said 
this great and consummate statesman, 'Mhe one million 
which I propose to set apart for this purpose, will, in twen- 
ty-eight years, produce four millions per annum, so that, in 
a comparatively trifling period of time, we shall have so far 
diminished the public debt as to prevent its ever reaching, 
in any future wars, its present enormous amount of more 
than two hundred millions. This is, indeed, a subject both 
of general and of individual exultation ; nor will I deny that 
I feel an intense, and, I trust, an honest pride, in inscribing 
my name on the indestructible column now about to be 
erected to national faith and to public prosperity." 
;||^is peroration, delivered with all the effect of a sono- 

" t^ice, and of a confident, peremptory manner that 

3* 




I 



80 YHB MOKBTBD K^N. 

seemed to chali^frge impKcii assent to bis positions, eko 
trified tbe wlf^e ffouso, for the thinly-occtipied oppositioo 
benches were hardly of so6icient impoftance to be deemed 
an ^itception. 

Of my first visit to Ranelagh 1 will say nothing, bat I 
bttght perhaps to notice a more recent occarreoce connect* 
ed with distinguished and fashionable amusements— I meao 
my introduction to the City Assembly.* Upon this occa- 
sion my father, who was treasurer and manager of the in- 
stitution, wore his court- dress,! and assumed an additional 
air of importance and gravity. Wluie I was looking around 
me for the pretty faces,, whicli seemed to be rather scarce, 
he was carefully indicating to me the great heiresses in pos- 
session or expectation, of whom there was no deficiency 
whatever, and I was astonished at the accuracy with which 
he gave me the exact money-weight of every girl that pass- 
ed us. ^ 

In vain did I object that some of the parties, thus point* 
ed out to my admiration, were ugly, or deformed, or vulgar. 
" Ugly I vulgar !" re-echoed my father, in a tone of indig* 
nant surprise, <' why, first and last, that girl cannot have 
less than a plum !" 

Considering the purse-pride which had been so carefully 
instilled into me by my whole education,! may claim some 
merit for the indifference with which I received this infor* 
mation, as well as for the independence I asserted in select* 
ing for my partner in a minuet, and afterwards in a coun- 
try-dance, the winning, the retiring, the bashful Fanny 
Hartopp, although I was repeatedly and even angrily warn- 
ed that her father was only junior partner in an inferior 
Russia«house of but little credit. 

Nor was this altogether a pure condescension on my part, 

^ nrhis civic Almacks, d«Toted to the aristocracy of commerce, and still mojre 
rigidly exclusive in its laws than its modem successor of Willis's Rooms, was held 
in Haberdashers* Hail, a mean-looking building, in a narrow street in the imniediale 
vicinity of Cheapside. No person not in bnsmess on his own accoont, no broker, 
no man standing behind a counter, or paying the shop tax (with the special excep* 
tion of bankers) couM be adnulted among the elect of that high caste circle, so innate 
in the English character is the love of exclusiveness. The excluded took refuge in 
another assembly, called '^The London,'' which was held in the tavern of thatname^ 
where they revenged themselves by adopting still more jealous defences against 
the intrusion of the class beneath them. Both were given up soon after the citizens 
commenced their western migration.— £<f. 

f In those days the leading citizens occasionally attended the levees.-^jEd^ ' ' 



THE MONCTED MAN. 91 

fo I wiH not ckim any merit in this apparent humility. 
Perhaps there was a spice of malice in my prer^rence, for 
.1 could not be blind to the sensation excited by the pre- 
sence of the young heir of Hawkwood — the future partner 
in the great banking-house; I could not be insensible of 
the anxious bustle among the mammas, and the bridling 
and fluttering of the daughters whenever I approached, 
and r determined to baulk all their calculating manoeuvres 
by repelling their advances, and seeking the only girl in the 
room who exhibited no wish to be sought. Surely there 
was something indelicate as well as sordid in such forward- 
ness, whether it be attributed to my personal recommen- 
dations, or my brilliant prospects. 

Some peoplejvould have been inflated by all this court- 
ing and coaxing, but I cannot say that it had any such ef- 
fect upon myself. After all, I again ask, what is my envi- 
able and unrivalled position in the city, or what my natural 
gifts and advantages but a caprice of fate and fortune. I 
myself am the last person to attach importance either to 
the one or the other ; and I only mention these circumstan- 
ces to show the parasitical, tuft-hunting spirit of the world 
at large. 

It was upon this first visit, as I recollect, that I was made 
acquainted with a little foible of Iny mother's, by hearing 
an old lady exclaim, <' So, here comes Mrs. Alderman 
Hawkwood, and, see, her diamond ague is worse than ever.'' 

My good mfother, it seems, being inordinately vain of 
her diamonds, which were considered the most costly in the 
city after Lady Baring's, generally affected, upon these oc- 
easioBs, to have a nervous twitch, or to be shuddering with 
cold, in order that, by the tremulous motion of her head, 
she might display her brilliants to more advantage — ^an im- 
maglnary ail/nent, to which her neighbors, detecting its 
inpUve, had applied the nickname I have stated. That 
there was a large share of woman's weakness in this un- 
worthy artifice, I cannot deny. Baubles, trinkets, and g^w- 
^ws, however valuable, form but a sorry ground of distinc- 
tion... Nevertheless, it was absurd, not to say insolent, in 
fXkj friend, Harry Kennet, to pretend that my mother's jew- 
||i were not so handsome as Mrs. Aaron Levi's, and I can- 



v.— 



i 



82 THE MONEYED MAM. 

not regret my having quarrelled with him^ and given aphn 
acquaintance in consequence. 

Enough of these reminiscences of my nonage. I am a 
man now. One of the glorious and golden three — Hawk- 
wuod, Poole, and Hawkwood. 






CHAPTER IV. 

1790 CONTINUED. 

Of an easy rather than a good temper, my father's ac- 
commodating disposition springs from indifierence more 
than a wish to oblige. Ever ready to concede in order to 
get rid of importunity, and not taking sufficient interest io 
others to be either ruffled by their reverses, or exhilarated 
by their success, his want of sympathy makes him calm and 
equable. Not that he ever com promises himself by two 
facile an acquiescence. Oh, no ! His concessions must 
always appear to be the result of his own conviction or be- 
nevolence, not of your persuasions ; never is he more dig- 
nified, and even stern, than when yielding a point. And 
yet, well as he preserves his equanimity where the affairs J 
of others are concerned, he is irritable, not to say choleric^'' 
in all that affects the two ruling passions of his soul — bis 
love of money — I mean money-making, not money-saving 
—and his sense of his own civic importance. Oh I how 
he fumed when his aldermanic election was opposfed by the 
brawling, spouting democrat, Higgins the Drysalter ! And 
how have I seen his countenance distorted with rage^ though 
he rarely gave it vent, when he has been taken in, or hai 
suffered loss in any banking transaction. 

Such a disposition is not formed for intimacies, and, with 
a larger circle of acquaintance than most of the ^ity mag* 
nates, my father can scarcely be said to possess a single 
friend. Even for myself I can hardly venture to claim 
an exception ; but the fault assuredly does not rest with 
me. I have never possessed his confidence — he has never 



i*.V 



\ 



THE MOKETBD MAlf. 33 

iKHight mine. SeMom has be opposed, as I must freely 
confess, any of my little pleasures and gratifications; but 
his jealousy of power or of wealth would have excluded me 
from the banking-house^ under the shallow pretext that I 
have no talents for business. Upon many occasions, in- 
deed^ he has shown a disposition to undervalue my abilities 
as a practical man, and to sneer at my ignorance of the 
world.- ^ Even if this were true, which I do hot by any 
means admit, it is not the province of a father to point out 
any little defects or foibles in the character of his son. 

On the morning that the partnership articles were signed, 
my father took me up stairs to the back drawing-room, and, 
with an air of more than usual gravity, thus addressed me. 
^* I hope you are now satisfied , Sir! (I seldom received 
any more endearing appellation than this.) You are my 
partner-" a partner in the first banking-house in the city; 
and, as you cannot have much knowledge of the higher de- 
partments of this very intricate and precarious business, al- 
Ihough you may have acquired a certain insight of its de- 
tails from your probation as a clerk, I wish to have an un- 
derstanding with you, both as to the nature of this great es- 
tablishment, and as to the share which I mean to allow you in 
its management., A banker, sir, surrounded as he general'^ 
ly is with all the glories of opulence, is certainly a great, 
an important, an enviable object; but he cannot achieve> 
and still less maintain^ this distinction, without more cares, 
dangers, struggles, and sacrifices than are suspected by the 
vurlgar gazers at his greatness. From these perils I would 
have saved you by putting you in some liberal profession, 
or less hazardous employoient ; but you were headstrong, 
obstinate, and you must take the consequences." 

I cottid not help smiling as I replied that I was quite wil- 
ling to take my share both of the risk and the anxiety, though 
I eouldnot exactly see where they were to be encountered. 

^' Which only confirms your total ignorance of the busi- 
ness," resumed my.fatber. " Where they are to be encoun- 
tered ! Go, sir ! dress yourself in gold lace, let all your 
pockets be manifestly stuffed with guineas, wear a watch 
and Q/dusse montrey each with gKttering chains, place dia- 
mond rings upon your, fingers, valuable buckles in your 
"'shoes, a brooch of brilliants in your frill, and, thus tempt- 



i 



m 



34 THE HONETBO HAN. 

iogly accoutred, plant yoora^ in Field LaneoFSmithfiii^l^ 
amoog all the thieves, rogues, and vagabonds of a di8triel|<K3 
that has few other inhabitants — wretches, who, if they can* 
not plunder you by fraud or cunning, will do it by force, |Qp 
and you will be almost in as great jeopardy, and nearly n 
as good conopany, as a city banker in these tricking timeft 
Such a n>an must live in a constant sense of danger^ anio- ! ^^ 
cessant state of warfare with his neighbors, nay, with the 
whole world. You see that string of cringing creatttra 
who smile and bow themselves every morning into my pri- 
vate counting-house. They are all rogues who come to 
plunder and rob me by procuring discount of bad bilb, 
loans upon damaged or unsaleable goods, or advances upoD 
worthless securities. I am aware of their knavery, and it I *i 
is my business tn circumvent it ; for^ if I do not cheat themi I ^ 
they will cheat me. IT I succeed, I gather the honey which | ^i 
is my profit from tiiorns and poison-flowers ; if I fail, I am 
not only plundered, but probably laughed at as a dupe; if 1 1^ 
refuse to accommodate them at all, I make them mine ene- 1 ^ 
mies, and place the credit of a banking-house, which is not j h 
less sensitive than the honor of a woman, in the power of Kan 
and malignants, who willstrive to whisperaway my reputation 
because they have failed to pick my pocket. Now, sir, it is 
agaiiist this swarm, thisgaog of tricksters and cozei^ers, thatl 
wish to put you on your gtiard. Cunning as foxes, and huih* 
gry as wolves, they will beleaguer you inathousand different 
ways, cajoling, flattering, fawning, bullyiirg, imploring, or 
weeping, according to Iheir diflerent moods, but ever with the 
same insidious object of making you their gull, their dupe, 
their prey, their victim, their bubble, and then their laugh- 
ing stock !" . 

Doubtful whether this exaggerated tirade, and the indig- 
nant energy with which it was delivered, proceeded from 
some recent loss and fraud under which he was smarting^or 
was really intended to warn me against the occasional 
rogueries of the civic world, I contented myself with reply- 
ing that I was thankful for his admonitions, that I was aware 
of the knavery of mankind, and would take good care not 
to compromise the house by the smallest act of imprudence. 

** Sir, you can never escape,''- was his reply, " if once you 
let these sharpers diseoverilrat you have any power or influ- 



I 



TBB HOMKYEB MAlf. 36 

0Dce in dispensing pecuDiary aef»>ininodatioti ; or, tf you do 
eflcape, it can only be by a painful and incessant series of 
iquarrels, to which, at your age, it would be really cruel to 
expose you. You have a right to ^ few years of compara- 
tive tranq^iHity andenjoymeiit. To secure to you this re- 
spite, to save you from the anxieties and annoyances that I. 
liave eiTumerated, let it be distinctly understood between us 
that the' department of discounts, loans, advances, add ac- 
commodations of all soYts,- is to be left entirely to me and 
lo Mr. Poole, to whom you are to refer all applicants for as- 
sistance.'' 

The murder was now out, and all this paternal anxiety 
for my peace of mind resolved itself into a domineering 
wish to usurp the whole administrative power^of the bank ; 
for I knew Mr. Poole to be a mere nonentity as to the con- 
trol of its aiTairs. However, as I was really not sorry to be 
absolved from \be wrangling and huckstering portion of the 
business, I signified my present assent to the proposition, 
adding, nevertheless, my hope that, as the restriction would 
be soon found wholly unnecessary, it would be speedily re- 
moved. 

*^ A banker, sir,'* continued my father, '^ is the depository 
of as many secrets as a Catholic confessor, and would be 
deemed equally culpable were he to viojate his trust. Now, 
there are many ancient clients of our house, who would be 
loth to extend to so young a man as yourself the confidence 
which, for so many years, they have reposed in me and Mr. 
Ppoie. This may be a prejudice, but still it must be con- 
cHUated, for we have many rivals who would gladly alienate 
our friendr, if they could, and secure them for themselves. 
The clients alluded to have already been informed that, for 
the first two or three years, you will not have access to our 
private ledger, so that the confidential transactions in which 
their credit might be implicated will not incur any addition- 
• al risk of transpiring." 

So then, thought I to myself, a pretended regard for my 
comfort in the first instaince, |ind for the credit of the cus- 
tomers in the second, is, in reality, a plan for rendering me 
a merely nominal partner, a oypber, and for concentrat^- 
ing in the^faead of the firm not only all the power and in- 
fluence/ but even all the inmght into the business* It was 



36 THK MONSTKO KAN. 

etident that I wts coimidered stiU a boy ; I fell netUed at 
Iha httmiiiatiog position Id which I had been placed, aad 
my looks must have expressed my strong dissatisfaction, for 
my father hastily added— 

*< It is now too late to retract, o^ make any alteration ; I 
have given my pledge, but it is only, I repeat, for two or 
three years. In the mean time, you are a partner as to aU 
essential points. The' stipulated portion of your profits 
will be scrupulously placed to your credit at the end of every 
twelve months, and you are authorised to draw against 
them, wlienever it suits you, at ihe rate of a tliousand 
pounds a year. So long as you reside with your pcrrents, 
I presume this will be more than sufficient. If you afaouM 
hereafter marry, or wish to have a separate establish meat, 
which I should hardly think desirable or likely at present, 
you will of course expect a more ample provision." 

That I was quite satisfied with the first part of these a^ 
rangements I did not pretend ; but, as the immediate in- 
come assigned to me was liberal enough, as I knew that 
fathers in general never have ceased, and never will cease 
to consider their grown-up sons as boys, and as I was well 
aware that I was but deferring power and profit, since I 
must eventually succeed to the whole accumulated wealth 
in the paternal coffers, I made a virtue of necessity, and ex- 
pressed my acquiescence in the conditions proposed. 

<^ Sir, you have every reason to be satisfied, and even 
grateful," said my father; and, making me a formal bow, 
he left the room. Gazing from the window a few minutes 
afterwardis, I saw him march into the Bankof England, a 
file of transfer papers in his hand, and a huge cocked hat 
upon his head, that made him look as dignified, though 
quite not as manly and majestic, as a life-guardsman. 



I have said that I received bundles of congratulatory 
letters on my accession to my majority, and, having stated 
my father's address to me upon that occasion— an address 
of which I detected the selfish motives, spite of all his en- 
deavors to conceal them — I ought, as in duty bound, to 
give precedence in the next place to the following dainty 



1 



<et»stfo from ray mother. Hereafter^ I may perhtpi paste 
more of her commonicaticNfis in my chrofiic^B, that I may 
fead them at leisure, for I cannot promise to give a proper- 
ly filial perpsal) at the moment of their reception, to such 
long-winded and discofNve letters. 

The introductory paragraph in the following is really too 
good ! As if I did not know that, regularly as the season 
approaches, a haunch of prime venison from Beddington is 
despatched to Dr. Jeflfery, who prescribes in consequence a 
short residence at Bath as the likeliest means of preventing 
the return of the chronic rbeunvatism to which my good 
mother is not subject — rheumatism. Returnf indeed ! 
He should have said the first visit, for I never remember 
her stiffering from the nruilady, though she certainly labors 
dnder the periodical apprehension of its appearance. Thus 
runs the maternal missive, I hfid almost said pamphlet. 



" My dear Mark, 

'* What a shocking thing it is to be liable to 
these rheumatic attacks ! Shocking in every way ; for you 
who know the tenderness of my feelings towards all, and 
more especially the depth of my maternal affection, will 
easily believe that I have suffered ten times more in this 
compulsory absence from your birthday festivities (your 
twenty-first birthday, too, only think !^ than if I had under- 
gone the most acute and racking agonies from my old adver- 
sary. Had I consulted only my own gratification, I should 
{lave braved everything, and have remained in London; 
iNit I have nothing selfish in my disposition ; I know that 
it is my duty, both on yoar father's account and your's, to 
preserve my health, and, once convinced that I am doing 
what is right and proper, I can endure anything. O, my 
dear Mark ! there is nothing like the satisfaction of an ap- 
proving conscience ! 

''In obedience to Dr. Jeffery's positive orders, I have 
brouffht my poor sickly body to Bath, but my mind is qon- 
fltanuy with you and your father in London. How inter- 
esting is your situation at this proud moment— heir to your 
fctber's wealth, a partner in the house of Hawkwood, and 
related, through me, as you should never forget, to the 
Aberdeeo GowlonS; or, at all evantSi to the Hansons of 

VOL. z. 4 



a 



39 TBS XOMVED UlUV* 

Wokefielrf, who intermarried with fhe Chirdoiis. Day tat 
night, early and hte, I ha?e thooghl of nothing bat jm 
and yoQf protpecta, and your fature plana, ao that I ban 
been living a dnii life enough, aa you may vrell auppose, 
since my arrival here, and I need *t tell yo« that the «>* 
eiety of your poor moping aitter, £dilb, is IHile calcahted 
to cheer one. 

" I am more convinced than ever that the girl ia tacU; 
deficient. Indeed she hardly aeems to poasesa the inatiad 
of self-preservation, aa she showed t'other day at Bath-Ess* 
ton. Only fancy ! She neen a screaming child puraned bj 
an inforiated cow, and, roshing between Ihem, the pocv 
simple- wtt ted girl throws a rahiableshawKoTer the aoimaPs 
h^nd, which sent it scampering away blindfold into aaotber 
field. She herself fortunately escaped without injury; lo 
did the little brat ; but her shawl wasof course torn tora^^ 
After getting into the carriage she began crying, and wheo 
I asked her whether she was fretting for the loss of her 
l)eautiful shawl, she told me she bad never thought of it, 
but that she had been overcome by the sight of the little 
girl's blood, as she had wounded her arm in acrambltiig 
through a hedge. Ridiculous weakness ! However, sbe 
is going to write to you herself, so you will hear all about it 

** Of course I have been to all the asserobliea and con* 
certs, and occasionally to the theatre; on the other nigbu 
I have generally had a card-party at home ; and, after the 

giorning'i lounge at the Bath, I have driven over to Prior 
ark, or to Lansdown, or the Claverton l>owns, or to Hath- 
Easton, where my poor friend. Lady Miller, died. You re^ 
member my giving you the volume of beautiful priie po- 
ems recited at the literary festival she established at her 
pretty villa. Ah ! we have had no genuine poetry »ttC6 
her death. You remember Mtas Seward's Elegy on that 
event? Beautiful! Heigho ! There are no real enjoyr 
ments for a domestic woman away from her family. You 
will see how much I hare been thinking of you by .the ad- 
vice I am about to give you on the occasion of your coming 
of age. 

<< First and foremost, my dear Mark, do ^not marry at 
present, at least do not be entrapped inton martiage with 
a girl of no birth or no fortune, for, as you can lay claim lo 



reax monctco man,. 39 

both,. you are eiuiiled to demand boib io ft wife. Xou ere 
a great oatch, Mark, the greatest in the city, and no ina<> 
a)€euvne,,flo artifice* no seduction, will be left un{>ractisBd 
by mothers and daughters to win the golden prise. I must 
Ikabw my own sex bettar than you, and I tell you to trust 
none of theia-T— they will all be in a coospiraqy against you 
—each struggling for herself, but all, I repeat, against you. 
The best preservative against your throwiog yourself away 
18 to entertain *a proper sense of your own value. Recol- 
lect that, in addition to the advantages I have stated,* you 
have luckily inherited from^methe Gordon face anjd figure, 
as well as a certain nobleness of look and deportment, of 
which you would have possessed little enough had you tak- 
en after your father. By the by, I invited his relation, Mrs. 
Deputy Thompson, to my first card-parly, as I know she is 
very fond of a game at quadrille, loo, or casino, when 
(would you believe it ?) she had the bad taste and vulgari- 
ty to bedizzen herself out in a new diamond aigrette, which 
the Deputy had given her on the success of his great bran- 
dy contract. I saw through her object : it was a pitiful at- 
tempt to eclipse me-T-the frog and the ox^^ha I ha ! ha ! If 
you quarrelled with young Kennet upon this subject, I 
am very glad you did, what would you have said to her 7 
Resolved to punish this low and mean ostentation, I invit- 
ed her to my next party, when I wore about my person the 
whole contents of my jewel-box, and thus read her a lesson 
of humility which I flatter myself she will not soon forget* 
" But I was writing about you, my dear Mark, was I not 1 
Indeed, I think of nothing else. Let me repeat that I would 
not have you marry just at present, for you are not to sup- 
pose that wedded life is always the happiest. Experienced 
people know better. Above all, let me hear no more of 
your dancing with Fanny Hartopp, for I believe her to be an 
artful, designing girl, and I should not wonder if she were 
bad-tempered, spite of those dimples, which may be all put 
on. At all events, her father is only a junior partner, and 
the bouse is in no credit whatever — the Bank refuses their 
acceptances. If I can read eyes aright, Augusta Maynard 
has a decided penchant for you, and, as one of our greatest 
heiresses, she may be well worth your attention by and by ; 
but, just at present^ you are too young. 



40 THE MONEm> MAN. 

'^Now don't ren away with the notion that I wiiih to de- 
prite yoB of any of the enjoyments proper, or at least natu- 
ral to your age. Youth is youth, and we must wink now 
and then at a few peccadilloes, just to show our hatred of 
puritans and all that class of canting, hypocritical people. 
So long as you show yourself to be a loyal subject by op- 
posing all Jacobins and democrats, and a sincere Christian 
by attending regularly at morning service and opposing the 
claims of all brawling non-cons, as your uncle calls them, 
nobody, I am sure, would be illiberal enough to quarrel with 
you for a few excesses and irregularities. 

<' I don't know that you could do better, dear Mark, 
than to imitate in all things, as far as you can, my model of 
a fine gentleman — the Prince of Wales. Not that I would 
have you run in debt as he has done, though that is rather 
the fault of the shabby Parliament, who have not enabled 
him to support his princely station with a becoming splen- 
dor ; still less would I have you follow him in his opposi- 
tion to his parents, and some other matters which one can- 
not quite approve, though they are all the acts and deeds 
of his evil counsellors — but look at his elegance, his dress, 
his address, his bovir^ his fascinating aflTability. Oh, how 
beautiful ! And how correct he is, after all, in essentials — 
frequently seen at church, and, last Palm Sunday, as I see 
by the papers, he received the sacrament. Your's is quite 
as fine a head of hair as his, and I wish you would always 
have it dressed in the same style. 

'^ O, my dear Mark ! was ever any thing so delightful as 
that grand party at Carlton Hotj^ie ! As you were at Bedding- 
ton when I left London, I never told you how I succeeded 
in getting a ticket to it. Lady Campbell, you know, al- 
though connected with the Gordons, never thought proper 
to call upon me, until about a fortnight before the party, 
when she left her card, and a flummery letter, pretending 
she had forgotten my address, and requesting that I would 
oblige her by getting my husband to discount a long-wind- 
ed slave bill, at twelve months, on a West India house in 
Mincing Lane, which she inclosed, not doubting my kind- 
ness in accommodating a relation. Was ever such bare* 
faced cajolery! *As if I were to be flammed so easily. 
How she could descend to such meanness I cannot at all 



Qod^rstand. However, I determined to be eren with her, 
and, as all the world was talking of nothing but the grand 
party, and I knew, from her connection with the Prince's 
household, that she could get me a ticket if she chose, I 
wrote her word that [ would endeavor to get the bid cash- 
ed in a few days, and that, in the mean time, 1 should feel 
highly obliged if she could procure^me a ticket to the Carl- 
ton House entertainment, ' not doubting her kindness in 
accommodating a relation/ Wasn't that beautiful ! Well, 
so far from having the spirit to take offence, she brought 
tha. ticket, her bill was discounted, and I went to the 
party ! 

^' What a splendid affair ! The temporary conservatory, 
and the oriental tent, and the colored lamps, were quite ma- 
gic. And yet, even in this gorgeously-dressed circle, I can 
assure you that my silver-spotted tissue, and the diamonds 
in my high-cushioned head-dress, were not without- effect, 
especially as I kept as close as possible to the great chan- 
delier, that I might have the full radiance of the light, and 
did not even go out for a moment to see the dancing in the 
garden. If I quitted my position it was to stick to Lady 
Campbell, for I hardly knew a soul in the room, and I 
wouldn't let her shake me off, though I saw she was an- 
noyed at my perseverance. What impertinence ! Howev- 
er, I can be proud as well as her ladyship, so I stuck to her 
like a leech during the latter part of the entertainment. 

'' You remember to have heard of the great sensation ex- 
cited at a former grand festival at Carlton House by Lady 
Beauchamp^ her sisters, (he Miss Ingrams, and the Miss 
Talbots, all beautiful, and all attired alike in Spanish dresses 
of white crape spangled with gold. Well, Lady Beauchamp 
and her unmarried sister were at the present party with 
Miss Brudenell, and the two Miss Howards, all in a Scottish 
costume, and you cannot think how much they were admired^ 
Quite beautiful ! After staring rather rudely at my dia- 
monds, I heard her ladyship inquire who I was. Several 
others paid me the same compliment, which was very flat- 
tering, wasn't it ?^ 

^<Nothing was talked of for some days afterwards but 
this grand festival ; even Phillidor playing at chess blind- 
fold was forgotten ; and you may well suppose that not a 

little envy and jealousy was excited \a xViQ ^vV] V) ^1 ^^^^^* 

4# 



42 THE MMETCD MAIf* 

iog procured an invitilion, wiieb nobody else could saoeeed. 
I thought it better^to be humble than over proud upon the 
occasion, so I gave out that the Prince wanted to see m; 
diamonds. 

** What a long epistle have I been spinning ; but^wheo 
I am wriiing to and about my dear son, it is difficult to be 
very concise, for the pen will follow tlie thoughts, and tire 
heart will promote them. However, I must come to an 
end at last, and so, my dear Mark, I subscribe myself, with 
a thousand congratulations on your brilliant prospects, 

^* Your affectionate mother, 

" M^RT Stuart Hawkwood." 

A few lines (before I insert any more letters) on this cu- 
rious maternal homily, if such I may venture to call it 
Writing about herself is an odd way of proving that she 
thinks of nothing but her son ; and an incessant round of 
amusements seems as strange a method of showing how 
much she mopes and pines in his absence. With all her 
clever management, she cannot escape my skill in penetrat- 
ing motives. 

Wedded life not always happy ! Can I have a better 
proof of this fact than is afforded by my honored parents? 
My father, indeed, was taken in as to his wife's expected 
fortune, and had good reason, if I have been correctly in- 
formed, to be dissatisfied ; but he is too fond of ease and 
quiet ever to quarrel, and my mother is too proud to resent 
or even to notice his coldness ; so they live in a state of 
polite indifference, not disagreeing when they meet, Bxd 
not thinking of eaeh other when they are apart. 

A pretty opinion I ought to have of the world, my fa- 
ther cautioning me against all the men, and my mother 
against all the mothers and daughters ! Am I to believe 
them both, and am I to include themselves in this sweep- 
ing condemnation 1 Here is a dilemma worthy of the old 
Crreek sophists. If I am a dutiful son, I must believe and 
think ill of my parents ; if undutiful, they may still retain 
my good opinion: but relations, I suppose, like present 
company, are always to be excepted. And what a singu- 
lar morality my good mother inculcates ! If I will but ob* 
serve appearances, I may neglect realities ; if 1 sacrifice 



THE MONBTES MAlf. 43 

to the graces, I need not make offerings to thefirtuer; 
mod the Prince of Wales is to be my model and my Men- 
tor!! Truly, if I had any turn for dissipation, I should 
not be altogether without excuse for its indalgence. 

That sister of mine is an odd girl, certainly. Have I 
«aid any thing about her yet in my chronicle ? I rather 
think not, and no wonder, for she keeps herself so much 
in the back-ground, that we see or hear very lUtle of her. 
"To be sure, she has been at school until last Christmas, 
when she completed her eighteenth year, and my mother 
has such an impression of her imbecility, that she has not 
been very anxious to produce her. But this is totally er^ 
roneous. Although Edith is shy, retiring, eccentric, and 
remarkably taciturn for a girl, she took the lead in all the 
graver studies at school ; she plays well ; and for drawing 
has exhibited a decided genius. Her voice, too, is exceed- 
ingly sweet, and I am sure she would sing very pleasingly, 
could she conquer her timidity, and her nervous objection 
to what she calls the exhibition of a vocalist. And yet this 
timid girl, we see, can be courageous enough upon some oc-^ 
casions. Strange that she shouUl select such an opportunt* 
ty for the display of her bravery ; but she is eccentric in 
everything. 

My mother is certainly prejudiced against Edith. She 
complains that she does not dress fashionably enough, and 
that, in society, she seldom takes a part in the conversa- 
tion : but the first of these charges I hold to be utterly 
groundless, and thesecond only occasionally applicable, and 
always excusable in a girl so new to the world. Her quiet, 
unobtrusive prettiness would little accord with the ultra- 
fashionableness of a professed elegante; she adapts her 
dress to herself, and no one can deny that she exhibits, up- 
on all occasions, an appearance of perfect gentility. Silent 
and retiring she certainly is; and yet, when she likes her 
company and the tone of the conversation, she can not on- 
ly take a share in it, but maintain it better than most girls. 
That at her age she should be^uch an^ enthusiast upon the 
subject of the Slave Trade is, indeed, an infatuation, a 
monomania, which none can regret more sincerely than 
myaelf ; she is deluded by a mere chimera ; for slavery has 
existed in all ages and contries ; the physical and moral in* 
hmxMj ci the Negroes shows thai Ihe^ ^«c^ vciX^tA^ Vst 






let 



44 TBS MONEireB ukn. 

subjectioiiy and, to attempt to defeat thia natural destim* 
tion is tantamoani to an arraignment of the decrees of PfO' 
Vtdence. 

Edith, however^ is very young, and there can be littk 
doubt that this morbid delusion will pass away, for she is 
totally free from any sanctimonious afieetation or pretended I ^ 
austerity. Placid and staid rite may be, and occasionallj | ^ 
pensive, but she is never moping or melancholy, as my mo* I 
ther is to apt too suppose. I should say, on the contrary, I ^ 
that her disposition is one of quiet cheerfulness. Tboi i ^ 

runs her letter. I f 

\& 

Dl 



"My dear, dear brother, 

" You will be so oTerwheliiied with cono^ratula* 
tions on the hnppy occasion of your coming of age, and 
being received into the banking-house as a partner, that yott 
will hardly find iime, I fear, to read any thing so uninter* 
esting as a letter from < poor Edith.' And yet, though al 
will be more eloquent, none can be more sincere in the ex- 
pression of their good wishes than I am. O, my dear Mark ! 
how sorry am I that my absence from London prevents roj 
giving utterance to my affectionate feelings by word of 
mouth, and with a cordial embrace, for a warm heart finds |* 
but cold interpretation in a pen. What shall I wish for 
you ? Not wealth and prosperity, for these you can hardly 
fail to possess, and there is as little reason to doubt that 
health and happiness will also be yours' ; but 1 will pray 
for that without which all these great advantages will be in 
vain* — I will pray that you may deserve the good opinion of 
the world and ofyour own conscience. Is this too serious 
and solemn a wish for a younger sister ? Consider me, theo, 
' a premature old maid,' as mamma sometimes calls me, 
and allow me the supposed privilege of the class— that of 
bein^ grave and admonitory. How is it that^, whenr I am 
particularly happy, or my affections are much excited, I 
cannot for the life of me be gay, but lapse unconsciously 
into that mood of tender and grateful pensiveness which 
mamma terms moping ? 

*' O, my dear Mark 1 with the talents that God has given 
you, with the influence which your wealth and station will 
conjmand; with your great oratorical powers — for I have 



Tin MONBf El> UAV* 45 

heard of your unbounded raeeen at the Ciceronian'c^Debat- 
ing Society-^what a career of present glory and of future 
renown would be opened to you, if you dedicated all these 
gifts to the suppression of that crying abomination— the 
Slave Trade ! Knowing that you differ from my views 
upon this subject, I wilt say no more ; and perhaps it is pre- 
aumption in a girllike me t(^ave said so much. 

'* Mamma is as usual very gay, and 1 have accompanied 
her in several of her excursions, but I cannot say that I 
have l>een very much gratified, except in a visit to Mr. 
Thicknesse's Hermitage, as it is called, where a monument 
has been erected to ihe memory of the unfortunate Chat- 
terton, whose poetry I have always admired, and in whose 
unhappy fate I have ever felt such a deep interest. When 
not otherwise engaged, we have generally iitf le card parties 
at home; but I am sorry to say that I am still too dull to 
understand, or perhaps too idle and indifferent to learn, the 
mysteries of drum, pam, spadiile, basto, and the rest. I 
fear I shall never be an adept at casino or quadrille, 

*' never own a soul 
That pant! for loo, or flutters at a vole—" 

a circumstance which I only regret on mamma's account^ 
who is much vexed at what she calls' my incurable stupidity* 
" We do not talk of leaving Bath far some time, so, when 
your festivities are all over, pray run down and pay us a 
visit, if it be ever so short a one, for I quite long to see you. 
God bless you, my dear Mark ! Again and again accept the 
heartfelt congratulations and good wishes of 

<^ Your ever affectionate sister, 

"Edith Hawkwood.'' 

The writer of such a letter cannot surely be deficient in 
the qualities of either head or heart, and to accuse her of 
imbecility is sheer nonsense. " Poor EdPth" she may still 
be called, for nicknames are adhesive ; cold and phlegmat* 
ic she may appear^ but, though I may be laughed at for 
the assertion, I cannot help thinking that, when she shakes 
off her odd ways and fantastical notions, she will be rather 
above than below the average of her sex and class. Not 
one word about having risked her own life to save that of 



46 TBft flOHSHO HAIf* 

a peasiint's brat : a fodiab acticMi, I admil ; but ivhat a ps^ 
lade, neverthelewy would have been made of U by ao; oth- 
er girl ! Yery likely i( may have slipped altogether from bee 
memory, for, though seldom unmindful of others, the ii 
rery apt to forget her own acts and deecls. And yet sheii 
half contemptuously pitied and *' poor thing'd" by the wbok 
of our circle*, not one of whoi^ I suspect, has found out bet 
real character, except myself. In return for her good ad- 
vice^ I sent her a handsome gold watch made by Chater, 
ufausse-^nontre of Derbyshire spar, and a kind letter, whicli 
1 verily believe that odd girl will value more than my present. 
How different from ber's is the following epislle, comiog 
from a man, too, whom I might call one of my most inti- 
mate friends, until, some five or six weeks ago, I objected 
to the admission of his great Danish dog, with its dirty paw8| 
into my mother's drawing-room— an irremissible offence, ai 
it would seem* He must have written in one of those fiu 
of intoxication into which he is so often betrayed, or in some 
intermediate state between sobriety and drunkemiess. It 
savors palpably of the place from which he so appropriate- 
ly dates it. 

'^ The Rummer Tavern, Wednesday. 
"Sir, 

" I have not called upon you for some weeks past, 
nor do I intend to renew my visits until I receive an apolo- 
gy for the indignity offered to my four-footed friend, Tychot 
' Love me love my dog' is an ancient and very sensible ad- 
age. I have called Tycho my friend. I might have trul) 
said my best, nay, my only friend. Never differing from 
me, whatever opinions I may maintain — ^loving me for my- 
self alone, and sometimes even when ] hate myself, he nei- 
ther fawns upon me in prosperity, nor deserts me in adver- ^ 
sity. Think you I would exchange*such a friendship for 
that of man — for attachments, or rather freaks of feeliag 
capricious while they last, bitter when they are broken, 
treacherous and tricky when they are patched up again ? 
Why does one man select another for his regards ? Becauie 
this other chances to agree with him in opinions, tastes, po^i 
suits. Were it not so, the pact of amity would be quickly 
exchanged for disjike or indifference. What is this but 



Tfill MOlTBirCD MiJr* 47 

ittif-tbire nl se^oodfiand-^-hatred vreisirtag the smiling mask 
of circumstance and contingency ? ' Away with these 
sphynx-likelirteiidships, that place a front of loveliness upon 
a beast of prey f 

'* Know, sir, that my friend Tycho, upon whom you in- 
sultingly shut your door, never did me an injury, except 
when, by rescuing me from being accidentally drowned in 
the Severn, he condemned me to the continued wretched- 
ness of life. Poor fellow! he knew not what he did — an 
excuse which cannot be pleaded by those who inflicted upon 
me, in the first instance, the curse of existence, and have 
done little or nothing since to alleviate its miseries. 

** But youryWefid Hammond, whom I met last night at 
the Mitre, tells me that I ought to congratulate you on the 
attainment of your majority, and of a partnership in the 
banking-house. I cannot agree with him. What have you 
done — where is your merit, that I should felicitate or flatter 
you ? You have taken the trouble to be born ; you have 
exhibited the rare talent of living for twenty ^onc years; 
you have, with admirable skill, contrived to be the only son 
of a rich banker. Prodigious I In short, sir, you are the 
accident of an accident. And for this you are to be honor* 
ed with a Kving apotheosis, for this you are to sit enthron- 
ed upon your money-bags, and receive homage and con^ 
g^tulatory letters, * like full-blown Bufo pufl''d by every 
quill.' Not from me need you expect any of this sordid 
adtdaition. 

** Dream you that wealth is an unalloyed blessing- — that 
it has not its cares and its duties, as well as its privileges 
and luxuries ? If thus deluded, Fortune's favorites must 
be as blind as herself. Is it an advantage to be placeff in 
a situation where you have every thing to fear and nothing 
to hope ; where it would be misery to lose that which does 
not confer happiness in the possession ; where the enervat- 
ing satiety that deprives prosperity of its sweetness would 
infuse additional bitterness into adversity ; where, in short, 
you derive no real enjoyment from to-day, and yet dread 
the possible changes of to-morrow ? Poor rich man 1 It 
ffould be a mockery to wish you joy. You are Entitled to 
mj compassioni and yea have it. 



48 TUfi MOMCTCD MAV. 

" Though I dklike idle falsehoodv^ I wish to obeenre the 
coortesy of Bociety, and I therefore sabscribe myself, 

*•' Yoorsy 
"Gut Weli-ohd." 

This 18 the letter of a sour, ^lenetic, proud, envious 
misanthrope, or of a testy, vulgar humorist, 

^ Who, having been pr&iied for blaotaess, doih affect 
A Mucy roughness." 

Yet, in his happier moods and sober intervals, who so 
courteous, who so enlightened, who so fasciaating a com- 
panion as Guy Welford ! His vocal powers alone impart 
an irresistible charm to his society, for his iSne tenor, in itf 
rare union of power, sweetness, and pathos, is quite unri- 
valled, unless I may except the delightful singing of Master 
firaham, whom I heard two or three years ago at the Royal- 
ty. Good need has Welford ef his^reat talents and at- 
tainments to reconcile people to his still greater delinquen- 
cies and irregularities. Subjecting all the usages of society, 
all domestic arrangements, to his capricious wildness, he is 
offended if his companions, nay, if all the world, do not 
conform to his own world-opposed habits. Utterly does he 
repudiate the control of hours and customs; sometimes he 
will sit up all night, and sleep all day ; at no time will he 
break up a drinking party ; he never passes a tavern if he 
can prevail upon a companion, however casually encoonte^ 
ed, to talk and tipple with him ; nor can the soberest al- 
ways resist his solicitations, for there is a charm in his con- 
versation that blinds them to all his bibulous foibles, and 
makes them even subnvit to the fellowship of Tycho, from 
whom he will not suffer himself to be separated, day or night. 

Many, however, are the redeeming virtues of Welford. 
Unlike most topers, he is scrupulously nice in person and 
attire, nor was he ever known, even in the riotous excesses 
of intoxication, to ejaculate an oath or pronounce an indel- 
icate word. Poor as he is, and is ever likely to remain wirii 
such unthrifty habits, his proud and techy spirit of indepeo- 
dence will not suffer him to lie under obligations of any 
sort, and he has been known to remain in prison for weeb 
rather than solicit, pecuniary assistance, even from parties 



wiio would feave been deligbted to tjender it, und ftom 
ivhom he might have receired it without the smallest degra- 
datioo. Good offices of any kind must be rendered coTcrt- 
Ijt or managed with infinite address, for he resents fiiTors 
«8 other men do injuries. ^ 

Desponding In d|iqK>siticm, and leaning towards misan- 
thropy in his opinions, Wclford is yet fond of society, and 
convivial evea to excels; but he seenis to tiarn towards his 
fellows to get rid of himself, and has recourse to a forced 
hilarity, or |o the oblivion produced by wine, to conquer 
bis constitutional melancholy. To the same causes, proba- 
bly, may be attril^Hed his fondaess for flowers, and for an- 
ioQ^ls of all sorts. A little garden at the back of his hum- 
ble lodgings in Ihike Street, Westminster, enables him to 
gratify both propensities by cultivating .a few roses, and 
feeding pigeons and puppies. Neither bird nor beast, how- 
ever, will he keep in confinement, alleging that he has suf- 
fered top much frpm imprUonment himself to inflict it vol- 
untarily upon others. 

Qere, top, be keeps his large telescope and his scientific 
iostruflients, for he devotes his sober hours, to astronomy, 
and even gives lectures upon that subject whenever bis 
means are exhausted, and be has need of an immediate 
supply. His tipsy propensities would probably deter aodi- 
eocea from availing thenpfselves of his astronomical lore; 
but he never iectqrep except in the provincial towns, where, 
bis iofirmity being unknown, his success is proportioned to 
his unquestioned talents, musical voice, and ingratiating 
appearpince.. 

In his strange and somewhat impertinent letter Welford 
I^Uudes to the cruelty of his parents, thus confirming the 
ti^picion I have long entertained that some mystery attach- 
es to his birth; but upon this subject he will not bear 
questioning. As to his attempted disparagement of my po* 
aitioD and my prospects, it is mere vulgar envy and jealousy 
•^tbe old story of the Fox and the Urapes. <' I see your 
pride through the holes in your cloak," said Plato to a bro- 
liier philosopher, who affected a sordid raggedness ; so may 
I well say to this penniless moralist, wheniie pretends to 
aet himself above me, and talks of my being entitled to bi$ 
campaisiofi. Pooi:^ poor. man t i pity you/ 

VOL. 1. O 



66 Tire utmeno mir. 

' Had I bd^n tttldyitig emlrests I could "hordly iiateUt 
DpOD a more eomplete antithesis to the foregoing, both iii I ^ 
spirit and in style; than the following epistle from my qaos- I b 
dam tutor. 

'* Stgismond Hoffman to Mark Hawkwood, Greeting, I i^ 

Q 

I" 

il 

lo! this IS the mommg of your tvrenty-nrst Dirtiidayy ana 
behold I am in my study before the sun, inditing to you laf 
felicitations and congratulations, as the Romans phrase it) 
or wishing you a good angel, as an ancient Greek would baie 
said. To these social and cheerful southerns, and not to 
the cold and stern genius of the Saxons, must we recur for 
all phrases of benevolent aspiration. Accept them, nerer- 
theless, my dear Mark i in all the languages with which 1 
am conversant, believing thai, though they may come in 
many tongues, they proceed but from one heart, and that 
heart unalterably attached to thee. 

^^ Although with sincerity, not without fear and tremUiog 
do I offer them. Great wealth, gfeat influence, perfaa|M 
great distinctions, await you — and all these are great temp- 
tations. Oh ! take heed lest you fall. From those lo whom 
much has heen given much will be required ; a strict ac- 
count must you render of your talents, in every sense of 
that word. A good christian has it been my paramount ob^ 
ject to make y«u ; this endeavor of your poor preceptor let 
not wealth and the world annul. When Ireflect that ott 
Saviour assumed the station, and wore the garb of comJMini- 
tive poverty ; that all his principal coadjutors and mtnistert 
were poor men ; that the gospel, while it is fitted willi 
threatenings and warnings to the rich, breathes the sweet* 
ness of hope and consolation to the humble and the needr 
— I repeat that I tremble for the foitime-favored Mark 
Hawkwood. * 

'* Neither do Pagito histories and records inspirit me; but 






iiadier tend V^. cMfobomte my aiiagiftegil — for ydu caaaot 
bave fofgotteo ibe lettef froia AmMiSi Kiog of Egypt, to 
bifl friend Polycratcfi/ givem by Herodotus {iii. 40)^ 

^ '^ Me yoa will oot suspect of imitating the base selfish- 
U0S9 of the Egyptian monarch, eveii were I not fortunately 
placed so near to the ground that I can neither Itll mysejf 
nor be dragged down by the misfortunes of ^ a friend ; but 
to the over^prosperous roiycrates your own fate, so nearly 
approaches, that I would counsel you in all seriousness to 
C&Bi tntp the open sea of oblivion the Sardonyx of . your 
prides, your passions, your luxurious habits» if ever you 
should find yourself attaching too .much value to them. 
God grant that you may never yield to their corrupting in- 
fluences ! 1 believe not that you will, but I would guard 
oae whom I Jove so well, even against hypothetical dangers* 
Religion, virtue, simple and natural pleasures, literature, 
and, above «11^ the classics — these are delights, of which 
fortune cannot deprive you, and which a wise man will,' 
therefore, value more then all her fickle and ephemeral lav* 
iabings. Heavy, though golden,^ is the crown she has plac- 
ed upon your head ; and I would remind you that he who 
walks the most uprightly always carries .his burthen the best ; 
a dictum equally true in its figurative and literal sense. 
Dlxi, Vale ! As a christian minister I will not My, pursue 
your course au^ido fau9t0, nor avMfieibi^ DiU, nor be- 
ftt^no JotHS aHro^ but Anup ice Ckri^o. 

Iterum, Iterilkmque vale, 

SioisMCND Hoffman." 

■ > • 

Have- 1 not called this letter an antithesis to its predeces^ 
sor ? Ay, in manner as well as feeling — for Hoffman is a 
kind, simple-hearted creature — but not so marked a contrast 
ki its matter, both of wealth writers still harping upon the 
vnnitv and the instability of fortune. All men, I see, are 
equally philosophical in decrying what they have not got, 
and can never hope to obtain. Envy ! envy ! manifest 
and avowed in Welford^ unconsciously latent in Hoffman. 
What have I to do with Polycrates — with ring^enamored 
favorites of the wheel-supported goddess, or with selfish 
and superstitious kings of Egypt? Adzooks ! one would 
think I w^ a gambler, suddenly enriched by hazard| and as 



i 



68 TUB voirETCD xaiv* 

likely^ therefore, to lie iinpeveri<bed bf tlie neit threw ef 
the dice, inetead of the iBheritor of a ieborioosly^acquired 
fortoney end the saoeeMor to a safe, iong-eslablwhed busi- 
ness. *^ These tedious old foohi" eiclaimed Hamlet. 
What would he have said *' had he the niotite and the cue 
for passion that I have/' in being schooled and catechised 
by tedious young ones ? 

Turn we now to the fairer, but rtot less jealous aez, and 
let OS place two rival mammas in jiittapf«iiiiHi. What aa 
admirable p^ndafd does one of these extracts form to the 
other. Punning Jack Taylor would say that they ought to 
make a match; for that is their object. After the tfsual 
congratulations on my brtUiant prospects, thus writes the 
crafty mother of Augusta Maynard r-— 

'^ What has come to vny daughter I know not ; but re* 
served and guarded as she usually is in discoursing of young 
men, she can talk of nothing latterly but your elegant Ap- 
pearance, and the becomingnfjss of your archery dressjat 
the meeting of the ToxopAoliles, at Blackheatb. Your 
numner of drawing the bow, and the gracefulness of your 
attitude, she declares to have been quite unrivalled, adding 
that her heart ^ite fluttered when she learnt that you had 
won the second prise. To a mother there can be no harm 
in revealing these matters, but I ought not, perhaps, to re- 
peat them. Of course they will not go any farther. 

<' Poor Fanny Hartopp ! have you heard that she is going 
to marry young Hed Simmons, the Cocket- writer, in the 
Custom House ? a wild fellow, I fear, and with very little 
business. But what could she expect ? Not a guinea of 
fortune, nor ever likely to have, and some of her connec- 
tions, as I have been given to understand, quite discredita- 
ble. Poor thing! I wish her well, with all my heart.^' 

And thus, in a ludicrously similar strain, does the other 
mamma — the worthy Mrs^ Hartopp — wind up her felicita* 
tions: <^ What a charming night we had at the last Cityas* 
sembly ! Fanny never passed such a delightful time, she 
says; but then, to be sore, she never had such a purtner 
before! It isn't your dancing, she tells me— though she 
admires that particularly — but your wonderful powers of 
conversation that render you such nn enviable partnerw 
Poor dear ! she has been rather low and pensive ever since. 



5 



TBS JIONKTBB MAM. 63 

«od lias asked me sererri ttnies whether jrou mean to go to 
the neit. Do you, and can you get me a ticket for my son 
Wiiiiam 1 If so, perhaps you will call : we shall be delight- 
ed to see you. 

*^ Miss Maynard, they say, is going to obtain her wish, 
after all, by being married to an offshoot of nobility, a rak- 
ish ]M>ung man, who wants her money, I suppose, to pay 
some of his debts. With her violent temper he must sub» 
mit to be thoroughly henpecked, or he will have no peace 
of his life. After all, it is, perhaps, the bestchoiee for her, 
sinee she professes to despise citisens, and has often de- 
dated that she could never be happy with a husband in bu«- 
sinesa. What presumption for one born and bred within 
the sound of Bow bells !'' 

.' Not one word do I believe of all this jealous tittle-tattle, 
except the assertions that bear reference to roysplf. These 
maternal Machiavels ! Never is their immorality so corrupt 
and shameless as when k wears the mask of some virtue. 
It is their duty to make advantageous settlements for their 
daughters. The end sanctifies the means : and evil-speak* 
ing, lying, and slandering;, are but proofs of affection, and 
exercises of motherly adroitness and vigilance. Precious 
doctrine truly ! Do they take me, too, for a simpleton, a 
gull, a gudgeon, that I am to be so easily caught ? Worthy 
mother, and most undesigning daughters ! In vain do ye 
set your traps and bait your books. I detect all your ma- 
iiGBuvres, and defy all your cunning machinations* 



Said I that such a register as mine might hereafter eon- 
dace to improvement ? I doubt it. Dr. Barnard, Dean of 
Derry, maintains that no man improves after forty- five. 
With submission to the very reverend doctor, I venture to 
opine that oiir mental faculties, whatever may be the case 
with our corporeal organizations, seldom assun^e a more 
matured and perfect development than at the age of twenijf^ 
one. Law and custom, founded, doubtless, on the expe- 
rience of ages, have decided that we then arrive at years of 
discretion, and are competent to undertake all the great d«i- 

6* 



< 



54 TH« aoHvni^ fuxt^ 

ties of life. WImt mofe e«ii we acbieTe, tir Men demAfx* \i 

ale? 1^ 

But some protjr greybeard will twaddle about th^ advan* | Ii 
tages of experience. *^ Young man, young man ! distrtui 
youf owd judgment, and recollect that I have there xperienee 
"of seventy years I" Ay, and the superaonuationi the fatuify 
of seventy years, which rendepA jrour boast of no more value 
than the memory of a parish idiot. I, toOj batu) the expe> 
rience of age — of the world's old age — ^of the accumuhtd 
wisdom of bygone caoturies, transmit ted to me in the aiH 
Bals of hisloriansy the writings of sages and pbiloaophevt ; 
and all this I possess in vigor of my youth and inteliectf wMe 
I can clearly understand and efficiently execute tbeirsii^gei* 
tions. Dotage and feebleness are not very likely to form 
a just theory of life ; and if they do, tlicy cannot reduce it 
to practice. Old age may as well boast the superior pois- 
sance of its limbs as of its intellect. For all the real and 
available purposes of experience give me youtb^ give Die 
the enviabde age of t wenty^ne ! 



CHAPTER V. 
1791. : 

"He who enters into a ^contest with Time," says Dr.. 
Johnson, ** has an adversary not subject to casualties ;" ao 
apophthegm of w4)ich I have already learnt the truth: for 
in the fussing and feasting, the greetings, visitings, and en- 
gagements incident to my coming of age, T find set^enl 
months have slipt awriiy, arid a new year has made some 
progress since I have written a line in my biographicfti 
Chronicle. Such lacuna, I foresee, will be of frequent re- 
currence, and problEibly of longer duration, for, being neither 
methodical nor industrious, I hate every thing that bean^the 
semblance of a regular, stated, obligatory tie, even where 
it has my own actions or sentiments for its object. It is 
like being bound apprentice to one's-self. No ;-:-it is by 



TH8 MoirlBTi:i> tf Air. 55 

throwing'tiim awaf tl»t we proire h to be our own. In* 
dependence is but a synonyine for idleness ; and f shouid 
hardly feel myself my own master, were I compelled to 
make an entry weekly, monthly, or even yearly in this Re- 
tR>rd. If I continue to keep it at all, it shall be for present 
amuaement, however it may conduce to future edification. 
If I chrop it — so I * For neither course will I give a reason ; 
leafvingit, nevertheless, to besormbed that when I say 
nothtng, I have nothing to say. 

Even now' I might not so soon have resumed my pen, 
m^te it not for the jealous and malevolent insinuations 
^foout that fascinating' little creature, Fanny Hartopp. 
Whether from a spirit of opposition or of independence I 
know not, but certain it is that all the machinations of my 
•mcrlfaer and others to prejudice me against her have only 
tserved to shar{^n nfy curiosity as to her real character, and 
eventually to raise her i« my estlmatiori. That the mother 
is vtilgar, forward, and a clumsy, transparent husband-hun- 
ger for her daughter, I willingly concede. How Fanny came 
to be her daughter, Heaven only knows ; for if Heaven 
can WTfte a legible hand writing, she is nil innocence and 
simplicity. 

• To me that girl is a connptete puzile--an anomaly ; for, 
iftough she has not one really handsome feature, she is 
Without exception the most winning, captivating, fcJewitclh- 
ing, irresistible, ioveable little sylph I ever beheld; How 
much more beautiful than beauty is a sweet countenance—- 
that heavenly halo which irradiates the features with an 
eniaiiation from the soul ! A mingled amiability, intetli- 
gence, and isffectionate tenderness constitute Fanny^s un* 
^rivafled earpres^ion, which is heigfitefted by a very chafac- 
'teristie peculiarity in her soft dove-like eyes. If they 
'ehance to encounter those of any other person, they beam 
with a look of t>enevolence almost amounting to fondness—^ 
% slight suffusion tinges her cheek — and a many-dimpled 
smile, Kke a soft flush of sunshine, animates the silent ek^ 
quence of her face. Nor is that regard withdrawn, frorti 
an)* sense of Itmid and mistaken bashfulness ; for, although 
it says as pfointy as looks can speak-^you rire a fallow-crea- 
ture, and my heart j^earns towards you with all the sympa- 
thf of an tfffbetionate nature -Hibe is too pure, too simple, 



56 vHtt nanssrsD wai* 

too inoocent to 4rettn thcl there oea be any barm in coi* 
Tejring suoh a seDtimeot throogh tlie eyes. 

Whence comet it that altboogh I have ooCieed this de* 
meaner to be invariable towards others, yet, if her eyes ac* 
cidentally encounter mine, they ere immediately with* 
drawn, and cast upon the ground ? Poor girl ! I suspect 
that her feelings in my case are of too deep and teadera 
nature to be entrusted to her eyes. She fears they ma| 
reveal too much ; she dares not trust the secret of her si» 
ceptible heart to their guardianship. If my conjecture be 
true, if I have indeed awakened her sensibilities, it has hm 
involuntary on my part, ana I should regret it the more be- 
cause it can only cause her pain and disappointment. 

Fanny, I must confess, is exactly the confiding, (bad, 
gentle, appealing, feminine sort of girl that I should like is 
a wife ; one who would be always looking up to a busbuid 
for love and protection, not competing with him for intel- 
lectual pre-eminence, still less contending with him for au- 
thority : but as to my marrying the penniless daughter of a 
junior partner in a second-rate house, the idea is too pre- 
posterous. I do not wish to depreciate Fanny when I say 
that I know my own value rather too well ! 

And yet what a wife> what a mother, Fanny would 
make I In the latter capacity, perhaps, she might be too 
bad, too indulgent. It may appear a faatasticd or fabe 
criterion, but I am mainly influenced in judging-of a girl's 
character from her behavior to children. At the very sight 
of infants or young folks, Fanny's dimpled cheeks, and 
fondling eyes, and beaming smiles, seem actually lo ran 
over, in obedience to the yearnings of her a^ectionate heart. 
Nor is this confined to an admiration of beauty, such as ooe 
might bestow upon a painting or a statue, and which oftea 
passes for tenderness-^still less is it limited to the well-boro 
and the welUdressed, the picturesque-looking scions of gee* 
tility-^or I have seen Fanny, unable to withstand the loviog 
impulse, snatch up a little onembellished brat in the public 
walks, and half smother it with kisses. Her's is the homagd 
of a maternal heart to the undeveloped blossoms of nature ; 
an ebullition of that truly feminine feeling, which makea 
her look upon all children as her own. 

From the idea, boweveri of b^r being thrown away upon 



_s 



Ned Siinmoniy the €6ebeti^irriter, I omiwl ketp reeoiHog 
ivtth « deep repognanee ; nay^ wkli an unspeakable loath* 
lag. I hate that little, amart, flippant valgamn ; and I waa 
de^bted whtm Mrs. Hartopp assured me, in ansa^r to toy 
interrogatorfes, that there was not a shadow of fottndatkm 
for the reports The art of eoneealing art seems to be a very 
fare one, and yet how hiany people itaagine thenrwelres pro* 
ficientafn iti Not withoiH difficulty could I avoid therode* , 
Bess of laughing in her face when this good My> with a 
most unstiGCessfui attempt at looking unconscionsj and of 
seguing to be totally innooeat of all personal allusions j pro* 
ceeded to inform me that her daughter was by no means 
anxious to marry^ until she could meet with a suitor who, 
if be did not oome^tiils up to her standard of imaginary 
excellence, should at all events bear a close resemblance to 
her b0m$ ideal of a hneband, which she forthwith proceed- 
ed to describe and depict by drawing a most minute and 
accurate likenesa of myself^— -'< a palpable hit, egad !" 

Oh ! what a reKef and what a contrast it was to her loud 
tongue, and the coarseness of her manner, matter, and as- 
pect, when, with a voiee as soft as an oboe, and a face ra* 
diant and mantling with smiles, Fanny flitted into the room, 
lind greeted mb m a style of gentle and graceful, yet ear- 
nest cordiality. Her mother^ with a boisterous, open-throat* 
ed eachination, repeated the rumor of her marriage to Ned 
Sinnnons — a statement whidi excited the risible faculties of 
the ds^bter also-^^-^iut, heavens! what a contrast ! Her 
laugh was silvery and jocund as a cbfine of bells at a fairy 
weddti^^-^imost the only langh I bave^ver heard which 
was spontaneous and hearty, without the smallest intermix- 
ture of vulgar vehemence ; for, though many Indies like 
fl»irth, there al« very few whose mirth is lady*like, 

<' Ned Sidnmons," said I, thinking that I might now safe* 
ly abuse him^**«*' Ned SioHnons is precisely the sort of man 
that I abominate — a little, low-bred, pert, flashy^ seeond- 
iiand Birmingham buck, who, with a shoWy chain and seal 
hanging from each fob, carries his beH-crowned, narrow- 
rimmed/ha^ on one aide, to show off to fuU advantage the 
powder and pomatum of his best whisker, wears three or 
four gay-colored satin under- waistcoats of a morning, rises 
on his toea^ thicks up his^shio in the air, and, as he walks 



M ram- mmmmn^. m»p 



,^ ^-akmg, ihfM hit lopped^b^^jwiib ,a «QMft 8ik«^ 

Misled fattto. Theie aub the Jackadandies^ Israelitisb or 
Cbriftiaoy whom one aeea Miirkiiig and cifki^Kng about tiiq I 
door of (ba B^yalty Theatre, or of (be Beroaoodaej BpflH^ i i 
whip|ier*siHippers, who^^" 

<< Nay, najTi" mterpoaed Fanny, " if all this be directed 
against poor Ned Siminoiis, I cannot hear any noore, for iM 
Imis many redeeming poifils about hitu that Kft him oat^rf 
his vulgarity — ay, even out of his topp'd boota. Not ool; 
does he support bia widowed OAOtber and three siatera, Iwri 
he makea their home tiappy by his invariable, though, per* 
tops, not very refined, cheerfulness*" 

<< This does not impart any gentility to his mmnners," 
said I ; " nor does it improve the fashion of bis Cbeapside- 
looking coat." 

<' With me it does," resumed Fanny. <' As Ueidemofll 
saw the Moor's complexion in his miiid^ so do 1 look «t 
Ned's costume through the embellishing mediuai of his do- 
mestic virtues. With a fasliionable^ beartleas rake I sboiiki 
Inverse the process, and see nothing io his uiodisb and e)abo» 
rate coxcombry but vulgarity in disguise." 

As I had dressed myself that morning with more than 
ordinary care, and had been making a little parade of mj 
recent dissipation, I should not have quite relished this rOf 
mark, -but that 1 had recently been so surfeited with cooi* 
plimj&nts as to relish even an appearance of candor. 1 
felt flattered in not being flattered. Besides, no man's setf- 
love is really hurt, and 1 doubt whether any girl's regard far 
him is really diounished, by the insinuation of his beings 
well-dressed rake. ■ ^ 

*< In short, then," I resumed, '< you survey modes through 
morals, and could not admire the handsomest or best dress- 
ed man in the world, unless his character were spotless." 

<' Nay," replied Fanny, mantling^ with dimples,^' I said 
not spotleeef in which case I shouM find, I fear, but few 
subjects for admiration. I am no Puritan, and it is very 
difficult to ascertain real character in this age of mental 
masquerade ; but I do not think that I could permanently 
admire any man whom I could not permanently respect and 
approve." * 

Whatever was intended by this remark, I took it, know- 



* 

mg she admires me persoridljr, as a great eompitment to 
my inofalsy a fact which was confirmed by her downcast 
eyes as she finished her s{>eech — for men inrariably show 
their admiration by looking ai its object, women by looking 
from it. To relieve her evident embarrassment, I requested 
her to sing me a song which I had sent to her a few weeks 
before. It was written bj myself, and had been ^t to 
music by Leoni; Glorious as it is t6 hear a fair songstress 
^warbling immortal verse to Tus<»n air," I Kke not the 
ver^e to be Tuscan, for so few pronounce ItaKan correctly, 
and so fewcaa catch its meaning when pronouneed, that 
the poetry and the sentiment are lost, and the mouth is only 
an addition to the instrumental music^-lhe best of which 
is a merely sensual pleasure. In listenkig to English, on 
the contrary, we can enjoy the beauty of the poetry and 
the sentiment — 4he adaptation of the music to the words, 
and the sympathetic feeling of the singer ; we conibine in* 
lellectual ami moral deliglit with that of the sense ; and, 
gratifying at the same moment the head, the heart, andthd 
ear, enjoy perhaps the most exquisite treat of which our 
mingled nature is susceptible. 

With what grace and good humor does Fanny always 
take her seat at the harpsichord the moment she is request* 
cd, and what a pleasure it is to gaze upon her fair round 
arms and bands; so full of dimples that they actuallf seem 
to be smihng at you as she plays ! ' It might have beeii 
fancy, btfl I could not help imagintngthat there was a nrard 
than usuat piithos-^^a tremulousness, as if the tones came 
froin her Tery heart of hearts, as she warUed^ 

WboBtwil^bt'b Mtflin| flush 

Tariu to purn^ abaoowt dim, 
And the fea, with gentle husbj 

Breftihof . a ihtleet Veeper liyami . 
Tis sweet to hearjbe )>reese < 

Join the lallaby abofe— 
Bat ob ! More sweet than theso 

Is the voice of one we Iotc. 

Tis tweet to wake m Jane . 
To the skylark's matin lay, 
• To hear the thrush at noon 

> . Pq/iiim§ mamo from tb«t i^ray i • 
At eye to lend our ear 

To the wooing of th« d#ire ; 
But naught so fiveet and clear 
As the TOtce 4^ one we love. 

/ 




r 



Althougbi wb0i^ /Mr* w iows, 

A change of icene or M 
Bach fMber eh«cMMd Ifos* 

FroHi ourmeoMpfj maj. bUt, 
A louncl there if timi yet, 

We never can fori^U 
^« the TOtce of one we love. ^ 

Faany!s is Mother a rery fine nor a mry cultivated emt 
Ualto (the queUiy of voice lo wbieh I have alw^a giv^« 
depided preference), but, likelier faoe^ it U made cbarmini 
by ita expreMioo; wiiile it possessea a simplicity, ao easQi 
ao apparept apontaoeousoesa, which gife yoH 4be ootipe 
Ihat her warbling, like that of a bird, is bu,t the iavolunlar| 
outpouring of her feelings. Shes&ngthia song divtoeljr* 
There must be something, howefer, in the words, for, wheq 
Guy Welford adapled some staosas of Lady Crf^veo's to 
the aame music, they did not soufid half so well, a|ute pf 
bis delicious voice. 

: Fanny, it must be confessed, is a mpsi captivating litt!^ 
Cftssfture, and I should say that she was |>erfectly artless and 
unaffected, did I npl know thai all unporikmed girls, es| 
cially in the society of such an acknowl^sdged ca^cA as m] 
self, |9ual be hoUow, nod designing, and man^uvrii^g, aa< 
buriMmdrhttiHiugs frPin the very nature of ! their position* 
Need)esa are ipiy motherV warnings against their siren wiles^ 
Noltomewill belong the blame simuld poor. Faony. loss 
her ow« heart ,in trying to entrap mine. .Perhaps 
my. frequent: Tisits may subject me to the iropMiation of 
being a dangler, a Philanderer ; bui am I to exclude mysdf 
from all female cooipanionahip hecauae the dear .creatureii 
whenever I encounter them, think fit to spread their anares 
for me, and, like the nymphs of Calypso playing with Cu- 
pid, are made to saffer for their amusement ? 

In leaving the house, which faces ihe west side of Tow- 
er Hill, I crossed that wild-lookipg, open, ragged, civic 
Common, whose aspect combines such a mixture of moral 
and material picturesqueness. The scattered trees and 
patches of grass — the piles of dirty, irregular, old-fashioned 
buildings — the sound of martial music from the weather- 
beaten moat-encirckd Norman fortress^ on whose walls the 
centinels were pacingr-^the forest of masts seen thrdu^ 
every opening in the direction of the riv#r — all these crowd? 



ed objects, so varied in their aspect and cbaractor, were 
f^\ in some kind of keeping with the living pietare preseftt* 
td by the gronpes upon the HiU itself, which, in this very 
faoftft of tl^ metropolis, t>ore some resemblaiice to a oomH 
try fair. 

Conspicuous among the dispersed booths was that of a 
celebrated quack doctor, dispensing his medicines from an 
l^ated phtform to some miserable objects hired for the 
purpose, and enlarging on the miraculous properties of his 
HcMrums to a gapin'g crowd t>elow : — ginger-bread stalls, 
thioible-rig conjurers, cariiet^beaters, tumblers, old clothes- 
a^n, and venders of ioliipops, were intermingled with an 
awkward squad of soldiers headed by a drill-serjeantj par-^ 
ties of eager-looking women and children wending their 
way to see the lions in the Tower, and starting, somewhat 
iwo-strock, at the roar that occasionally issued from their 
dens — knots of sailors gasing and laughing at every thing 
ind nothtng-^together with a succession of promiscuous 
wayfarers, such as must be constantly supplied by so busy 
so densely peopled a neight>orhood. 

While gastng upon this strange scene, I was startled by 
the words ** Cousin Mark ! is that you 7 I am delighted 
lo tee you :*^ and, looking round, I beheld my old school^ 
firilow, Matthew Plummer, wearing a low-crowned hat over 
h&i smug, powderless hair, square-toed shoes with little tiny 
tecfcles, and a brown coat with" small brass l>uttons, of a 
most civic, or rather Southwarkian cut, betraying by ttt 
odor that he had just emerged from the neighboring tobac- 
eo^-warehouses. 

<* Bless me f* he exclaimed, walking round and survey*' 
iag me with a stare of admiration, '< what a man of fashion 
yoa have become ! — laced frills and ruffles — a plaited tail 
to the very bottom of your t>aek — (you always had fine 
|Mur).^yoor natty coat half covered with scented powder-^ 
a cotipte of watches — an amber-headed cane !— Positively 
lahoold hardly have known you again, though you were 
ever the smartest of the smart at the Charter-House." 

Taking my hand and shaking it with great cordiality, an 
iotoi^in which I was by no means a participant, he con- 
Mfttthted me on my having beoyme a partner in the baok- 
fl^f4iott8e ; adding, that he should have done so soomri bui 

TOIi. I. 6 




AS TUB' MiomTsai mut 



thtl^ bft«NigtMggci0t€it*lo4ii8 (isAef.thifB {MisiUlitjr of iMfti 
mUy-^iteDdiii^abeir: biMioetf, ib^ fxofiis'af y^tutek .wen 
•ow fthMred e(t«ial(y beiireen xU%m, h« haU beeii t|«veti|| 
fiofftaevemi iwMilba, fot miag nfl«&t:oiiimecoialiCfMin«clkiMi 
chiefly in Ireland, an object in which he bad been apfoif! 
Miilly aocceaaful, ibat be«ii^it flirty anticipale 4he realisa* 
lian of a hacidiome forluoe m a very few jeara« 

«' I did not iikcrto call upon^ you." he eofitinue4y "^ 
you bad prelty breadiy iaUmaHsd Ihat my prcaence woiiU 
DOI be licGeptable, but I wanted to tee you, for we bm 
jutl been,ietting up m Guy's Hospital a atatiie of ^la Sm» 
der, and are.in woni of a.«oil%ble Latio ioscripiioii for.thi 
pedestal, wbicb you wiU periuips be good enougii tafw? 
iiiab, as you are SMish an excell^t classical sclK4ar. < We M 
thoijigbt of applying to Mr. BitHOP-— jkbeMercbaut Taykn' 
Biauoy — bull am sura yoM will do iuquila aa well^if iMl 
better." , 

That 1 felt flattered by thia (SQmpIia^i>l to my Latipityi 
will not d^uy i bui, aa 1 ionnQdiately auspecied tb^^ 
cation to be a mere stibtet^uge for renewing an acquainta 
which I am det^mioed to drpp altogolher, I gave it a 
and decide^ negative, .and turned^ upon my heel in suchafi 
ttBcejreiTioniowi aojanner us to discaun^all fiHute intrusion 
of a erimilar aaluce* ; In fact, I was pointedly -rude to btei 
but 1 cannot help it. I hate Piumiuef ; aivirays .did ; AtA 
move so, bfcfruse I amcvnicious ibat'I.'bebaved aouMtilbll 
Of ue)ly to him al the Cbai tar-House. < .,?,<■ 

Hatred may be tb^ cauae of injury ;iii the firsi jafiaoo^ 
but the injury always doubles the hatreds Not.ia tbia jua^ 
natural ; ibe:detestatioB>asw?b.<:Siaas being' ipar^Iy. a; sort 
of flielf-justification for the wrong we rmi^y^ve.ioflietfd)iii{ 
indeed it be wrofig to act-ii^Qnan instinctive aiiefsicMi» 
wbJcb would ne^t have beeia.if)^i planted in our bosoms if w^ 
were not meant to exei^ciseii. :^uQb .n^ur;a] tantipathifi 
are but an anticipatory .seK-rdf^fence ; perhaps a longnsig^tr 
ed sense of self-preservation, sfhkk is the first la)nr of.. J!$a^ 
ture. ■ . ■ ■ ■ .^. 

How came sneh^ a stupid > fellow as \M\s Pjummer to have 
any thing to do with ^uy's statue ainij its inacriptiqai 
Strange^ that such a plodder should have^b^d wit and e9r 
•rgy ei^Q^h auddenlyitP pi^pmid bta lutrher's trnnipery butfir 




wt warn 

ifHd a biffge ooinfiierdial conoeril: ttaftt- proniMs- 1^ enr 
rich him in a few years. WelJ, hidaadi may this be the 
iMltey if he 18 to fscehre^haif ihe profiis. And what am I ia 
flw mea&white ^ A; nomtfiai pariner'i-'^t^ uh' foei, a niera 
«li|lMfdiaf)r^ wHhnal a possiiMKty of beiflg^ enriched utilil 
my father dies, afi4 he a^y Kve these Iweoijor thirty yean 
»^nay, more. Small, sfAre^ sinewy aMQ like him naiw 
dill : they get nich a habit of itviog tiuit^they ean't leaver i| 
Mr.' • r" • 

Ha most be a po(yr, mean^piritad, desptcsble feUow, this 
Plamroer, or he never would so tamely endure all iheop- 
pressfofis, slighl8j-amie9i»tmneiie9^ft)ehl have heaped up- 
on him. Or, perhaps, he ^es fee] Ihem, and pWys the 
tiypoerite that he may circumvent me in socri^ way^ and aa 
vrreak his iong-smotheredrevaiigev ¥es, yea, this is dotibt- 
less the ciae to his pretended meekness. He will fiad 
that I know mankind rather too well to be very easily 
caught in so very palpable a tmp. I repudiate his friend- 

ip, and defy his hostility. 




Two capital dinners and several morning-visits at Alder- 
man Maynard's have coniirmed my admiration both of his 
eook and of his daughter Aug4i8ta« Yes, admiration is the 
word in the latter instance. She is not winning, ingraciat- 
ing, bewitching, like Famiy Hartopp — she does not steal 
unconsciously and irresistibly into your good graces, and 
creep into your heart of hearts by almost insensible approach- 
es. No ; she strikes you suddenly and vehemently ] but 
the first impression is the strongest — at least it has proved 
•0 in my case^.tJiough I still fully admit her to be one of the 
handsomest girls I have evereneoantered. Her command'- 
iag Sgura, her aquiline nose, her somewhat proud -looking 
blue eyes, her dignified walk, her undeviating self-posses- 
sion, the air of distinction, almost amounting to stateliness 
which characterizes her, have alwtfys appeared to me, fan- 
eifiil as the idea may seem, to be in single accordance with 
i\^ noble mansion in which she resides — a mansion of which 



i 



64 Mtt 

nmrj (mHuft at^Mli die elevated laele, at well as Uie gMH 
wealth of its oecopant.* 

Even the bridliag peacock, ttniltiog op and down Ih) 
•tone parapet of tiM terrace during mjr last visit, and ti» 
richly-gilt harp flashing through the trellis work of the sem* 
mer-h^se where she had be«i playing^ it, seemed to hif* 
agonize with the soosptoous and majestic character of Ai^ 
gusta's beauty. Every thing surrounding her bespoke the 
presence and the power of wealth, no mean attraction to 
one who had, Kke .myself, been educated in the revereoce 
of riches. 

What money must have been squanderetl by the founder 
of this mansion to purcbsse so spacious a site in so valus-, 
ble a locality, and to rebuild all the surrounding houses, so 
that not a window should look towards his garden, and ciis- 
lorb its privacy ! Few men are less susceptible than my* 

* As those oM abodes of the eivie ar'ntocracy. since the westward migratioa *{ 
their former proprietors^ are now rapidly disappearing^ It may not be uninteresting to 
give a brief description erf* *be house in question, to the courtyard of whioh the freat 
gates of a double jPorie'^oehlre gave entrance from a narrow street. Without asy 
claims to architectural beauty, the plain brick edifice had, nevertheless, an air « 
grandeur from its extent, its sotidity, and its all-defyiD^ seclusion, even in the heart 
of the city ; for, when the great gates were closed, it was completely isolated, 
and might almost have stood a siege. The principal portal opened upon a haO 
sixty or seven^ Ceet long, teraiinatiDg in & large glass door, throogh which mij^bt bs 
seen the lofty trees of the garden beyond. From the middle of the ball you ascend- 
ed the principal stairs, terminating on the first floor in n spacious piclure-galleff, 
omameoted at tha time in question by paintings of the Flemish mnstefSy and CBtt 
monicating with a suite of numerous and handsome rooms. 

The garden, which might be termed extensive, considering its situation, was 
baundedby an elevated terrace^ ascended by a flight of stone steps, and ahad^ by 
a row of venerable lime-trees. At one end of the terrace stood a handsome sam<* 
melr-house, paved with colored marble ; and beneath thi«, having an entrance door 
from the garden bcAow, was a grotto, sindded all over with shells, and decorated 
with two atone Cupids perched on the edge of a shelUshaped basin, from the centre 
of which a mimic lef cTeoii threw up a slender column of water. 

This may read like the deseripiion of moat coekneyfied Rum in urbe ; bat its retl 
beauty, wlwn glowing with the freshness c^ spring, and the surprise of being uslier- 
ed into such a green, spacions, and quiet seclnsion firom the noise and bustle of the 
attrronodiag city, effectually lifted it out of any common-place or vulgar ftsaaeia* 
tions. 

Alas ! for the deserted mansions of the civic ma^^ates t After an interval ef 
many years, this welUremembered spot was lately visited by the writer. £keu i 
quantum mUatut ! The northern Porte'€»ehtre was enclosed and converted ia* 
to a counting-house ; the principal entrance was blocked up ; the grand staircase 
had been |»alTed down to make space for new rooms $ the whole bmlding waa par* 
celled out into counting houses and small apartments ; the beautiful lime-trees aad 
diaa^ipeared ; the terrace and garden were covered with warehouses and otatbuild- 
inga ; the biistie oi clerks and porters, and the creaking of cranes, were snbatituted 
for the stilly hum alluded to in the text. It was a melancholy scene, especially at 
it served to recal the former occupants, wW>| like the glory of the iMnsion^ ba,d wm 
passed away for aTer^— £d. 



^8elf to tmpressiomr firotn iatiiifmile obj^ttH^uuL ss to am* 
iiinent and romance, I deapiae tlieai bodiryel mnat I coo^ 
fesa that the sudden plunge from the* deafeaiag streets into 
tim urban repeat, where, amid the perfume of flowers, and 
in' the shade ofoverhangkig trees, 1 bfiacdr nothing but. the 
tinklings of the little fountain in the grotto^ t4)e twittering 
of birds, and the muflled hum of the muhitudinoua city, ifi 
jttie Tery core of which 1 sat« fookided and. embowerad, in- 
Mriibly produced a moslaoothingaad delicious effect upoii 
my mind. A secret sense, perhaps^ that :>tb^ real GeniuB 
IdOd was Piutus rather than Pan, may have con tl4b^ted to 
this impression ; nor is k unlikely that the syn»piatbetic inr 
flvoficeof Augusta Maynard, the grent heiress, may have 
heigliteaed it. • 

A a we paced the terrace on my last vi8it> aecom pained 
i>y her friend Miss Ward, ahc: aUoded- to asp^b I had 
'fOttde a ; few nights befons at the Cicarpnian^^ of whien a 
report had reached her. 

^> G^ h be possibly trtie^i" she inquired, '* that in dis- 
Guasing the eomparalive advantages of wealth and pover^ 
tji jrou pfonotmeed aa opiniop in favor of the latter ?" 

'< Yes^" I replied,. '< I lUte to make p€K)ple. atare, and ooe 

cm tfisplay IhiS': most tcdeat by defending the wosst caus^. 

^Fhe po^r» they say i have da friends; tnit this is not the 

-ease^ yon see, with Poverty, for I gavo my judgment in her 

favor." 

«' Yodr judgment 1" smiled Aiiguata^ with a significant 
acMft^on the word. .^' Bow can. you ju.dge of that which 
jroofhave never known, and whicb I sincerely tr^st yon 
Mver Will know. If yoq laerejly wanted a acope for your 
^ogeiittity or eloquence, yon did well, perhaps, to beeooie 
Hie champion^ of poverU ; .but I suspecithat (ew persons 
wookitbe less Willing thtfn yourself to try the practical efr 
•iael of your own-arguments^". 

'.^ Really I donH know,V' said I with an air of assumed 
ooiiehaflattee. ^We seldom value that to which we have 
beei» aixustomed/rom our birtb ; and you most be perfectr 
ly aware, as well as myself; that wealth does not alwaysjsei- 
MrO'lhe bappioess of its possessor." Here, I believe, I 
made fto awkward attempt at « sigh. 
V ^ I Jsoow^ nolTBOy thi^ ihat will in vc(riat4y ae«ure hapr 

6* 






I 



66 tnm mohbtbii nxtf^ 

piness/' wm her reply, ** but wealth hm af leeat one greit I *c 
and certain source of enjoyment unknoirn to Poverty— k | tl 
can make others happy." 

*' Ay,'' cried the toady compmiion, ** and few htn 
proved tiiis more often and more completely than Mis 
Maynard. The sums she gives away in charity akwe 
would " 4 

"Nay,*' interposed Augusta, "it would be hypocrisy to 
say that I value riches solely on this account. No such thing. 
I like them for the power and the distinction that they con- 
fer, for the position they give us, for the enlightened socie- 
ty they enable us to command ; nay, I will be so unsenti- 
mental, so selfish, if you will, as to confess that I like them 
for the personal luxuries, indulgences, and enjoymenlB 
which they place at my disposal. From my birth I bare 
bQ§n accustomed to these; use is second nature; and I 
feel that I should not have philosophy enough to forego 
them, without a most bitter struggle." 

"Then," said I, "you acknowledge wealth to-be year 
master, whereas, I myself, without undervaluing its aeni- 
ces, would still treat it as a slave. Opulence and afllueoce 
are pretty sounding words, and no mean accessories to a 
man's position : but 1 am vain encwgh to think that FcoaU I 
achieve distinction without their aid, and I bad much rath- 
er be valued for my personal recommendations, than for 
the recommendations of my purse." 

" But, do you tUnk,^' asked Augusta, " that the worM 
would take you at your own valuation ? Be not so oser* 
weening : nothing of the sort ever occurs to a poor Biaa. 
The English, as a money-making people, attach Kttle value 
to the talents or even to the virtues which have Ctilad to 
enrich their possessor. It was only yesterday that, in look- 
ing over a volume of Chailoner's Extracts, I was struek wiA 
an observation made by Montesquieu. ' Had I been botu 
in England,' he says, < nothing could have consoled me for 
not being rich, but in France I do not regret my mediocrity.' 
Depend upon it, be well imderstood the character at the 
English." 

"That he did," sighed the companion, "and for mf 
part I am sure I should regret mediocrity, or at least pover* 
>y» in a»y country of the wodd. Heavta knows. what 



would 1»TO beeome of me had I not met a benefactress 
whose generosity ** 

A look of marked displeasure from the party about to be 
eulogised, immediately silenced the speaker, when Augua* 
ta, turning to me, exclaimed with a smile, *< Confess, Mir. 
Hawkwood, that you have been maintaining a paradoar, 
without feeling or believing it.'' 

*<If I confess the fiact," I replied with a laagh, <<may I 
sufely' throw myself on the mercy of the court, and hope 
for pardon ? Your silence gives consent. Well, then, I 
crjr peecatri* Presumptuous, indeed, must I have been, 
had Tbeen m earnest, for, to question the glorious suprema* 
cy of weahh on this spot, and in your presence, were little 
ioaa audacbus than for an ancient Pagan to deny Dt^ 
ana at Epfaesus." 

" If the recantation is not more sincere than the comp^li- 
fsient, I can hardly call this a confession." 

*<Nay, MissMaynard, this is hardly fair; I must admit, 
however, that jrou have been niK>re frank and straightfor* 
ward than myneif. You make no concealment of the high 
value that yoa attach to the possession of weahh. It may 
wot be true, therefore," I continued, determined to discover 
whether any foundation existed for the rumor of her mar- 
riage, ''.it may not be true, ahhough your own fortune 
would, probably, gratify all your wishes — that you are 
about to give your hand to a nobleman without a guinea." 

*' I know nait/' replied Augusta coloring, and drawing 
^lenelf up with a look of aome hauteur^ *^ who may have 
invented this idle tale, but if I know myself, I am not like- 
ly to realize it. If I am to be taken at all, it shall be for 
myself, and not as an appendage tp my money. It is not 
very probable that noblemen should seek me, and still less 
do^ I should seek them; No ; it is honor 'enough to me 
to venMRU in the rank I have always occupied ; and I had 
much rather be at the head of my own class, than at the 
foot of an aristocratic one." 

^ Hem I" tboi^t I to myself^*' the murder is out— the 
girl loves me — what can be broader or more manifest than 
tbia moat s%nifioant hint— < the head of her own dass'-^ 
|MrecMy the posNioo she would occupy if she were to 
^mmwf: me t 8ba haa too lauch dignity, too proud and cof 



68 THS IKWlTTftD KAN. 

a spirit to coo fen thesebr^l, but her looks Bt well as irtr 
words have stiffBred it to t/ansptre.'' 

Determined to obtain, if poauble, stSll 'more condonTe 
efideace of ilm intereftiing fact, I made « aKght eneomiv 
tic allusion to Fanny Harloppi when her face becatne ifi^ 
stantly suffused with an angry bhiflh,and her homblecoi^ 
panion lost not a moment ia seeking to gratify her by adis 
paraging mention of her stippbsisd rival' m itif aflfeciioni. 
Thus I construed^ her officious interferatice^ and f camm 
doubt that my recent attentions to Fanny liad fornaed die 
subject of their conversations. Aogoslay however, too geo» 
erotts or too discreet to encourage soofa petty jealousy, de- 
fended Fanny, and even went so /ar as to honor ber witk 
an anhnated encomium. I doubt its sincerity ^ and T ik 
nai doubt the secret -motives that prompted, it. ' Still it 
was, like herieIf^~-handsome. 

Augusta certainly possesses a dignified mind, whttch Ffr 
conciles one to a certain degree of hatieur in . her earriage 
and deportment. Not less certain is it thatshe has a deei<t 
ed predilection for me, and that such a facie and f^re,widi 
such a fortunerare not unworthy even 'of tny atlentioft 
And yet, though I admire ber more, I caimol Hfce hei^ baV 
80 well as Fanny. . ^ . ,. .- | 

Fair damsels! I will not sing with Machealfa-—i>./ 

** How happy could I be witk either, 
Were tV>ther dear charmer a^vfty/ • ^ 

since 1 mean for the present 4o be faap{^,.eveo while l» 
jecl ye both-^ 

"I win not my unhoused free condition , ' ; 
Put into circuinscriptioii, aJid confine,^ 

■ ' ^ . ■ ■ ' ^ ■ • • ■ -,.•.,.■ » 

either for the golden and majestic Augusta^ or the portktt^ 
less and fascinating Fanny. Enough that I have delected 
the secret of their hearts — that I see their objeet-^-^ndthal 
I have too much knowledge, both of women- and of the 
world, not to be proof against their Wiles and their manoBQ- 
vres.: 

Augusta is certainLy clever; Thefetwas great kiiowled|B 
of Ubf at least of English Ufoy in.tbe ebaervation, thai «^ 
addom attach much value to the tideats which have prntd 



TUB MOlteTCO HAN* 09 

to tfaetr po wcoa or. For eksses of which the <gen* 
«ffal lot 18 povertjiy one feeb compassion only ; but for th<e 
foor iodtf jduals of a rich ciass^ I myself have alwifys enter- 
taioed a profound — ^^though of course an undeclared— hxmi* 
tempt, proportioned to the depth of which has been my 
fatpset lor the wealthiest among the wealthy. Were I 
eveo strictly to scrutinize my filial affection, I fear it might 
prove to be mainly based upon a deep sense of my father's 
^peat opulence. Pleasant as well as dutiful is this sensa- 
tion, noee it inspires a refersionary respect fur myself. 



CHAPTER VI. 

1791— CONTINUED. 

WfiAT can have l>ecome of Gui Welford ? For several 
Weeks past, indeed I might say months, I have seen noth« 
ing of him, nor can any of his compotators and boon com- 
panions *' prate of his whereabout." They tell me that 
they can gain no tidings of him at his lodgings, though the 
decrepit hag, whom he has left in charge of them, occa* 
•iooally gets a letter from him, enjoining, in peremptory 
terms, the most unremitting attention to his flowers, birds, 
and animals, and enclosing the pecuniary means for keep* 
tog up his strange establishment. Probably a tipsy bout of 
longer continuance than usual retains him in some low 
purlieu, in which he would not wish to be recognized, and 
whence be does not choose to emerge until his fit shall have 
woni itself out, for it is one of his odd maxims that the best 
way to conquer your passions is to exhaust them, just as 
you may cure a runaway horse by giving him his head, and 
anfferifig him to pursue his wild course till he is thorough- 
ly jaded. What singular infatuation ! That an riitellec* 
tiMil and refined man, and Welford is both when sober, 
sbould willingly, and even complacently, sink into compan- 
ionsbip with low revellers, mountebanks, and merry-An- 
ibewt IB obscure suburban pothouses, making it his pride 



70 

to be the vocalist and the SfonpomfiBh of cocfaa dm^ I U 
table crew for weeka together i is' one of tiMsae f>raclicai|io» I he 
adoxes ior which there n no other method tk mccxmtiaa^ | |ai 

\^ 

id 



b 



than by attributing it to temporary monomania. 

Some inoiiths ago [ encountered him and his tnaepanUi 
companion Tycho in Cannon Street, when the kttar, iv 
atantly recognizing me, ran towards me with a waggtaf 
tail, and a most intelligible look of welcome^ as if aniioM 
to make up our late quarrel. Less placable than his (la( 
Welford called him off by a single somid, which was^isi 
stantly obeyed, and then, turning down a street, gave me 1^ 
the cut direct! What ludicrous insolence ! and all fort Ittt] 
supposed slight to his four-footed friend. And this, toO) lUi 
from a penniless fellow living by his wits, to a person inm) iIm 
position, and with my prospects! Ha ! ha ! ha ! One caa |i|g 
only laugh at such outrageous sancaness. And yet I feel jliii 
piqued tiiat a pauper should presume to aflect to be indepeo- 
dent of a partner in|the house of Hawk wood. Shall I confer 
the truth ? I have even been mortified sometimes at theii^ 
dependence of his dog. Moody, testy,andhumorsoinea8hii 
master, Tycho, if the choicest viands be offered him bya9|K| 
hand, or by that of any stranger, receives thetender as an fo* 
suit, hares his formidable teeth, and says very plainly, hoik 
by his look and his snarl, " How dare you think me & 8ub» 
ject for bribery and corruption?" Let the rejected delics* 
cy pass into the hands of his master, and be imniediatelf 
squats upon his hind quarters,; gives two Chompa upon tbi 
floor with his ponderous tail,«nd looks at the prize with il 
assenting expression, and a short affirmative bark ;.asDii|€k 
as to say I am willing to receive it from yau^ but even frofll 
you I scorn to solicit it by any undignilied fawning. >. 

Welford has been brought to my reoollection- from #f 
wish to engage him in a party which he might ha^ecoiillii» 
uted to amuse by his conversational powefs ; or, ataH 
events, by bis vocal talents. It would have, been gratifying 
to exhibit a man ofsuch varied attainments as my friend ib^H 
there are some people so wayward, waspish, and pettea^ 
that they will not suffer you to do them aservice. Hcrwevei^t 
we had a very pleasant, perhi^ a pieasanter party witboat 
him. 

As the waich of which Alderman Watson bad beei 









lb 
u 
ki 

in 

It 

IE 



Tarn woMMMti^' uAm . 71 

l0d at C999B% Gwkli Tfaoalfei ia tfiejmn^er already re- 
kiMt, cootamed JviiMn the o^Me a n»HiiaHife4>r hismiolber^ 
piifitail^bf Cfevetti, be had.^uaed everyendeavarlofecovef^ 
it^bot^tlierlo wHb^NyisifCQess. Bat rifigtoB, tbe acted pickn 
pocket), anhom be had good reatan to suspect aa its inirkiia'^ 
ari^waa aow aa board a transport ahip ia the river, about iqf 
take his departo«a fof^Bptaay Sayvfor an exactly simiJat 
affaaaaH:ofninil;le4ai A^f^t/Racea, wherein -Mr. Hare Townf 
aaad bad^beea the a^ierer*. It oqeurrad la ibealdermaa 
tbal:.ba imght obiaja aotoe ,diie to the atolen property bj[ 
qoealiaaiog :the sa«pected tbief^and, aal had heen present 
at^ tbe- tiiae of bb \m% be invited me ^o aeconapaay him. 
Alter yiaiting tj)e tiaaaport, which bad dfppp^d some wajf 
doiafi Ibe xw&h^ k ami^ agree<i-tbat weahf^ild retora todia^ 
apao white bait at'Greeawich, an arrangement which qnickly 
diav several brathoraUeraieii intoAbe party » and procured 
inHn ithfei Lord Mayeirvtha' loaai of bis own- barge and watarir 
M^^togetber witba soMiU bandof inutio; so that we prar 
aaot^^aJ^^ethejr a very gay and dashing appearance. Q 
aM^^oocufreace-for^aii^ ^aghsb pariy o( pleasure ! the weatbr 
M'pioi^l>rigbt and propitious) we. oarselves^ although wa 
Ittd five. aldef men abased) were aprightly and hilarious ^the 
aiiiaiciailisenliveoed the.iiitervals of our iaugbter with merry 
timely or wo ha4 la.soagtfifom ArrowamiUi of Vauxball) who 
iMM^Iibeen engaged for the, fKMrpase.. 1 myself made several 
oapMaLjokest;»;Our wataripw were vigofouaand willing, and 
tba tideaad: wind: ware 'fa,Torabia, so that 1 was hardly con^ 
adotte fof iMNT/'aiad piogress do^va Jha river^ until^ upo^ 
kidktogbaek from thedeck^ I.saw.Greenwicbhefaind mei 
and tbe mighty metropolis beyond it,.sending up iiHo tbe 
iU'innameralhle.apjireSy daipeSf and cupolas froma super* 
impnibeDt vykniitude of s£E^HPr tUiged. by the sun with a 
fnHfO^i^ waaflike hue:'--* >., .; 



*« 



-=*f 



Greenwich! thy gilded fane al*ar, ' 
CrefliBff the ftififtge, like A, star • 

Fla^h d rearward in the sun } 
Beyond — ^but half Yevoal'd to eyej 
VeU'd in her ha&y panoply, »j 

Si ill fading aswour way we won, 
The towers and cujiolas were seen 
Of England's and of Eiaroipe'a cpxeiM, 
So dim and yet so grand .wilh«l, 

That to the raiisMlg ii might seetn 
. Some, vi^Qjraiy c%p)lal, . ' 
Traced in the clouds at evenfall, 

Or conjured in a dream. 



li TBS MONiBirsb man 

From this reterie F was aroused by ifce emg/n cnml 
many Toices, when, upon ittrning jnound, I footid wo wsii 
ttioogside the transport, from every window »iid portbebif 
which, as well as from the crowded dfek, were tbrosi btto* 
dteds of inqairtng faces, Yoctferatfiig to every variety oi 
ihrilKng anxiety, «< Who is it for ? who it H for ?*' It seem 
that our approaching barge had been recognised as the 
Lord Mayor's, and from the gay and triumphant modesf 
our rowing op to them, with colors fljing and music ^0f 
ing.a cry ran rapidly through the ship that wo were honf* 
ing towards them with a pardon for some of tlie convieift 
As the Yess^el was merely waiting for its sailing orders, thi 
mistake was natural enough, especially to condemned neo, 
ready to snatch at anything to which they could sitackt 
hope of escape. Not for a long time shall I forget thaw 
impatient, those irrepressible, those furious cries, those pa^ 
aionatis and convulsed countenances as we ascended the 
vessel's side ; nor the blank and altered looks, the suHni 
and scowling expression, and the curses, not louA botdeep» 
with which the grim-visaged rogues saluted us wbentbs]^ 
teamed the real nature of our errand. Nothing more strike 
tngly illustrates the wonderful mobility of the human cooa» 
tenance than a sudden transition from hope to despair, the 
two most exciting passions of our nature ; and here 1 bad 
an opportunity of witnessing that change upon every vsi^j 
of character. To me it seemed that the effect was more 
signal where the parties relapsed into their former cahn da< 
spondency, than where they vainly endeavored to ^wh&m 
their defiance of disappointment by a forced sardonic kvgii* 
ter, or by venting their rage in maledictions. 

Barrington, however, upon being introduced into the 
cabin, l)etrayed very little emotion of any sort; Tali and 
tbin, and gentlemanly in appearance and deportment, spite 
of the convict uniform which he had been compelled teas- 
sume, he bowed politely to our party, telling us, in a soft 
and gentle voice, that he anticipated our purpose, as be 
never could believe that government would send a person 
of bis talents and habits to Botany Bay, in company with 
such a set of low-lived blackguards. 

Not without difficulty could we undeceive him as to 
our real object, and then for the first time did I perceire 



9«c momnwm KAm 78 



viosb ptn ovbr hw features^ Slid a stigM tirilciifi^ in the 
■nncietof his fnme. Il w«9 but momentory, for that in<* 
iottitttbledetercnifistion !• ri«e above hit ailuatien-^aiiaiiibt* 
lioD, which, bjr prompliog ali his depredaii<»ii8, had brov^t 
hini to bis present di^rsiseful pligbt, smtaiiied hioty ami 
BUHie him even aflPect an air of pbilosophteal indifferenea 
lo all the frowns of fate. From the moment thai he began 
ip eak ing, I had been pozaUng myself to recollect opon 
irliat previotts occasion I had beard his low pleaiiiq; YoieCi 
■od i at length remembered the fracas with the smitg^ers 
miBe years before^ when I had nearly lost my life upon 
Black friars Bridge, and had been rescued by a soft>spokea 
Mrai^er. On my mentioning the circumstance, be imaAe* 
diately confessed himself to have been my firaserver on 
that occasion ; interrupts ng me, howerer, with a snule 
w4eo 1 said that I should ever feel indebted to him, be ez*i 
claimed : — " Nay,sir/you owe roe nothings for,as it hasal« 
mmjB been my maxim, that short reckonings make bhg 
bieods, I took gooii care to pay myself at the time by eas* 
Bg yo« of your watch and purse. Your life was saTed^as 
many have been lost, byn gold chain; for, had I not 
BSiigfat a glimpse of your's aa yov lay profirtrate upon the 
fmwadj 1 shouid hardly havo been phtlanthropie enough to 
In^ you to the footpath.-' 

* As I bad no reason to doubt the truth of his dedarattoo, 
[ jeookl not help shuddering at the thought that the most 
laiuable lives may depend upon accidents of so trivial a 
naittfe* What a frightful thing is a mob and a riot, where 
tbe richest man has no more^ nay, perhaps, less chanee o( 
Bscape than a mere pauper ! 

^ In answer to Alderman Watson's inquiries, Bartihgton 
iadared that be could give him no clue to the recovery ol 
bis valoabie goid watch, 9^, in all cases where his booty 
waaof too marked or valuable a nature to be easily sold in 
England, he wrote to a Dutch Jewt who immediately came 
over to treat with him for the purchase* " For instance,'* 
he added, evidently taking a pride in the relation of his 
exploits, 'f when I went to court on the king's birthday, 
dressed as a ebarch dignitary, a character, by-the-bye 
which I sustained remarkably weU, and succeeded in cut- 
ling off the diamond orders of a knight of the Bath and a 

VOL. I. 7 



•jjBiK •> 



34 iitt liQPMK* mm 



in Londmi} . jifo^tt^; llmy«foiifid tbetrw^y to AnialaidM 
mleiBL^liuuY afoftoishi*/ You iMVSt douMes^^ litoilrif 
Liidy C^'tf clev^mteM^ To Mcqre her Vf|liiable4i«narf 
kMdkIe9,4to^d4A«0i^ilfhafl k)i bersboes. Wcilv«f»l 
fi>UQiir«d imf teM ttigbcout irf Ranckigb ;, a r«sii was made 
h|t ih^ 4itili^i|oy« a«dj iImI servants wiih Ibeir flanbeaux, 
Iba siidtllof nKhieh iny conf^erolc liflod her for:&0K3M^ 
fieiii the grelHid; -I *vtbjpped off bet slioes ii»a4fi9yhei 
bdf^p.bad tbo: iilaaaara el walking ibrough ibe Aildtt 
her oaff'regr^ apd tb0 bttcUe^ Wene quickly cm the waf l» 
AflitlardEHW. Tha diamoiNi biitlocM that 1 aaipfied ffoi 
PrinQB Qll(tf facoaial CotenA Gardea woiiid«haTe IraicM 
Ifae aaaae>roi|d, had^I ufatfound (hal I ci^uld make a better 
bargain hjr mtureing/ibcnii^^ I boggled* ibat affair, aadijr; 
aad aa to i&ldeitnaiiLeiMeiiiriem at Druty Lant>, LoDoCaa 
thai Ltmii^iilei afbamed of iiJ^ ^ : 

<< W/be»:ye)i< wer^ disohaqged irom the Halfcs/' ami Ab 
demiail Watson, i'^ omi^i to the kiad' inieErafence of Ik 
EfdMiia^Bd Mfr: Gatn^beU, aaay 1 iriqQtra wha^ baoamrirf 
joa^ for ydo.ditappaal-ed^fef aev^iril moatb8/^ 

^ I waa labonog aiideii>a eonpfattat^ Mr. Aldenittfi^lo 
arbtdkl.dafa toy yipawiUaever be Mifajeefed. -. I Iwdao 
quired too much fame ; I was too flFiaU!iMM>Wfi;in Laodatt^ 
so I aet oat ufMsn m^ cotmlry iraabis^ and I donft kooiv Alt 
i^fer passed; a pl$OBanlet:c»;niQra pea&tabieftiniau Jik^ 
of ^lbevTafiety> of company I aaw wb4n I leU you ibaM 
joornayed aad picUed'^Mi bandacNBeiivebhood in tboi^ 
ieraol ebaraaleraof a if emntik ladei^ 4be keepor'of:sA& 
O. table, a quack doctor, and' a revi^read jmaskmitfyi ia 
whieb lasi LenjasF^^a sor^of sinacxno^ people faeiag: aMbre 
aoxiooa to {Hek their owa poctkela.t6 fill fimef ibaHiJiati 
tosatfe them ihe trooble^ so thai my fingers gol^^ta#oal 
of practiee* In none of these eboracters did I ever betisy 
myself by o want..o/ abiiily iosopport them. How sbouU 
I^wbeol had passed .mualerat eourt as^a moalorlfaodot 
and unsuspected bishop 1" 

<* And nfldirv Mr^ Basrington/' said Alderman Treeotbj^» 
in his nsuai patronising and pompous .maomry << allow ne^ 
sir, to inqdiro wby^i luith your education and taientts; and 



It 



•"I 



fw mamaam turn 9S 

fwiiiemffinrty d«pbptiii«nt,> yim^efmt "teninkv ftkirfcif U^ tlM 
Mir find '^iiAreputtUe dilitlif ^^ 

; ' ^« W4tt yooiaMQnv^fM4<r «4k, Mr. * AMMfMfij^wttf i wm 
ever born a poor man with a rich man's taste8>-#hy I ^eve^ 
foand iiifMtf vdthbiit 'a^shitltfig^ li^ pMber'wfritoi{ warit- 
mi t»: apend gotneasl HmI 700 betm plaoe# iit mf iHin^ 
tk>a, and I m yckir'a^ wHi' f«tf^^«arn: fou OQiierfake U> Mf 
itmr^re fiho«ld not tMrfe'cfaahgtd Aiiea arweM^lHrfurtufAea? 
Nbt jroa ! }''oo rioh fdlowt are' iioDe<of yoii'^ftlf gitMfsl 
enough for the guineas which, by removing^ fempHiti^; 
timve^savcid dom^tif you frdmtheHtftkvwvi Botftny Bay, 
ftnd, ^tbaps, TcMii^he'gaUowsJ^ - ^ ^ 
r>: «'Ood biesB 4ne i'^^^acnlalbd tfee? Atd^m«fij evldenrty 
not •eMbhing racK «n tiOcoihfortiiUo suggestion; t<do*yo# 
mean to say that I, or my' werrtiy fKebd, ' Mrv^ Md^mait 
Walsofi,«r Mr. Depuif Birch^*-»-*-*^ 

«* Ay, Mf . Al(iepmafi, cYen 8<b. I d« mofirt *t4 iay that 
ntMiney is moraiity, and thatahe mamfiKm of unrightec^os- 
citfss, which' I Hsed lo' denounee- when ^I inras aetifig the 
mrsaioiiary, 6ught, in trifth/to be ealled the mammon of 
tighteousaessy sitien il ia'4b« bestMsecbrity for hoiietty. 
Give me guineas, and I have no need to^fileh them/'^ 
i ^^^t the di^iwce^f behi^ -a idlomflson' ptckpodtel !"' 
fieimted ibe Ahierman. 

. ''^ I ftitter my«e)f," said B9nihgio0ifknMf ^< ihat some 
of' rite gentlemen nowpresem wMacquilineof being aito* 
geth^ e eammom f)icfcpo^ket t and, ^9 10^ the mere aet, why 
the whole -world ii divided into pichpoohets, le^l^and ille- 
gal. W hat are the pdVte snlkiiggleffA: o( both eeiea ?-^what 
ttrellie titled Greeks, with their Faso tnbtes in May«'fair ? 
4^wbat am tiie blacklegs at the gaming-hoiises, oreo the 
lurf ? — what are the ladles who cheAt «t canls/ orihe genh 
tiemeB who wili^take in their own AMbir in the sale of a 
hdnie, bot so osany unpr e a ccu t c d pidipookels ?-^what are 
qiiaeks. and regular dooiers, who'triie^feet ?ivbe»' they know 
niey ctedot cure?-^-<^hat asedawyev^' who set people by 
the ears for the sake of plundering them ? — or parsons, who 
lake tithes for duties which Ihey do^ tiwi perform, but so 
many pickpoekets ? ' Nay, ^wltat ^ate p«r memhsnte, and 
dealers, -and sbop4Leepers, in this^cemmeravl ecMid try ; fMn 
whoi«e every^day basiness it is rto-takeeveryo possible ad* 



7< 

vwi9g«i botbof iMjaiitodMHorSylNit pickpoeketi ? Ihf 
iDeak to the safe nde of the law ! I defy it^--wbat is tiM 
dUfiefesee between us ? Th^y ere coweids and by poerites ; 
I am neither." 

** A (irecioot pieee ef tophistry truly/' growled the Ai- 
dermaB. <* Then in feet you censider youraelf a superior 
ebamcter to myself and tbdte worlfay gentlemen.'^ 

" Unquestionably ; you are legal p^kpockels, I am as 
illegal one; and you outnumber ine» which accounts for 
my bang here/' 

A lai^ froai eor party was the only refdy ta this saocj 
sally, when Alderman Walson, eypiesMng his regret tiisl 
oar appearance bad eiciled hopes which were doomed to 
disdppointment» asked whether he bad any immediate wish* 
es that we had the power to gratify. 

^'I should feel eternally obliged to you/' replied tbecoa- 
viet, in a tone and with a look of much feeling, *' if yoa 
could get me separated in any way fro n the scoundreh 
and bteckguards with whom I am compelled to asaociats, 
and whose language and manners are so utterly disgustiif 
to a gentleman. I am also most amicus to resume my owi 
fashionable clothes.'^ 

' Curious instance of the artifice and casuistry of the mind 
in the process of self-reconciliation ! Harrington bed acta* 
ally wrought himself up to the belief that he was a superior 
persotty a gentleman^ an honest man cruelly ill-used in being 
thrown into a nest of thierea. Regretting his inability to 
procure any remission of his sentence in these respects, the 
Alderman generously prepared to offer him a few guineasi 
whereupon the superintendent apprized him that none of 
the convicts were allowed to receive money, but that he 
would take charge of it and deliver it to the prisoner on hit 
arrival at Botany Bay* It was placed in his bands accord* 
ingly» when Barrieglon exclaimed, with a bitter smile, 
<< Another legal pickpocket— -you are all jalike--^all alike I'' 
and walked out of the cabin with an air of offended digni- 
ty. 

To me it was nnanifest, that in the wlnde of this sdene be 
had been acting a part, endeavoring to impress us with a 
notion of his cleverness and superiority, not only as a pick- 
pocket, but as an ingenious maintainer of paradoxes, just as 



» 
he fc«d clioieft rtte oectf^bH of 1ii9 friM ^t6f t tMhy dispkif 
of his orBloficcil powem. Oh hfs ow^ iMfeotiM 1 fifiotild not 
ha««^ tvonorecl Wm wtiti' any notice in my^rtoide, but itk 
b^ fH> mean? impossible that tve thay obtain soane tttlle share 
^t 4ttittre oetebriiy as the^ rhtfmdl^at Who teseued me from 
looh an imofiiiienl dat)ger,^lpohiBhi€4ci[Hars Bridge. Again 
DMitt I ft^liee upon #ha1 Irffles ttie most \ehp6ttMt rt6uh» 
ibme^nes depend, ti i^saM that Sir ; Thomas Gkesbatn 
Eook a grasshopper for his crest/ biecattse^, when h^ was^ex- 
jioaed in the fields fn his infancy, the chirping of fh«>se \n^ 
itfctsdrew the attention of a passenger, who resetted trim 
PiMn Ma danger. Witb the same feeling I ought to embla- 
BJon n watch-chain over my coat of ikitns. When^ 1 ledMe to 
Itfittaeii ^carriages of my own, atid to htive a (reafc irertlce o# 
pbttof (my fiaiher'ti is quite antiquated), I may take this into 
:n>nsideration. ' i. 

On ufarning atong the deck, I noticed one of the con- 
mii 



^CTted upon a reversed tub, and smoking a pipe with 
atr of imperturbatHe phlegm which had excited my 
IMliftioii when our first appearance had thrown his com- 
3dl)lo<ns ifltb audi a fever of excite^meM. 
•'' « Ifew comes it, my poor fellow,** I inquired, ** thttt you 
lit bei^ S6 uficonet^rned ? ^ Had you ho thought that we 
flight be biiftging y oil a pardon ?** . . . - 

''^*.|lot f, fori haven^t a friend in the world toast for 



He-" 



• **TI»en you havebeen spared ihedisilppointment experi- 
NWted by your companiohs?" 

' ^«*t bfive not been spared much in (his life,** said Ifi^ feK 
IdMr; taking twd or I hree careless puffir before W r^Wetf-^ 
«*> Utile, indeed, that I have nothing further to feaK** * 
-" Have jroo not, then, the more to hop* ?" 

"No; I Tiave left off hoping, because I am sick of it— ^ 
whidh is the worst of all sicknesses. 1 have become indif* 
breiirf to every thing ; to life itself.'* 

^<This fettow should be watcheil,'* whispered Aldei^an 
rreootlilck,' **or he will be throwing himsetf overboard dur- 
ing the voyage.** 

<* Not I,'* replied the man, who bad overheard the re- 
mark ; « though I don't care about life, I am equally indif- 
ferent to death. Que is not worth the trouble of preaerv- 

1* 



78 TUB iM»fyv» ii4ir« 

log, Ibe iklbef w not wortb the trouble of seeking ;^ and k 
resumed bis smoking wilb a look of fixed and d<if ged tHiir 
cism that seemed to attest the sioceritj of the sentiment. 

This strange being, i was inforaied by the superiDlefli- 
eoty had once been in decent cifcumslances, iiad run tbrosj^ 
a course of reckless dissipation, and, aCier baving been mia- 
ed by a lawsuit, had become usher at a school, and ssb* 
sequently clerk to the lawyer who had been the original id- 
viser^of his suit. Defending himself upon the fanciful piei 
that he was only stealing kick his own, he defrauded Jut 
ouploy^r, an offence for which he had been sentenced to 
transportalios. *' Ashe writes a 9t>od band,'' coatioued 
my informant, ^ and is a remarkably quiet, steady, silent fel- 
low, we employ him as a sort of clerk and deck-watdunao, 
an office for which he deems himself well paid by the prill* 
lege of smoking a pipe whenever he is on duty/' 

The ancients, thoagbt I to myself, would have honored 
this* man as a philosopher of the Stoic school. I cmnptred 
bifli situation and prospects to my own — what a contrast! 
The interview of Alexander and Diogenes occurring to ae, 
I was half tempted to address this impassive convict in the 
well-known words which the conqueror applied to the teo- 
ant of the Tub. Poor fellow ! bis counteoance is now be- 
fore me. Even its stern resijbation was Crig^htful. His 
bee was a cemetery of bad passions ; the crater of an ex- 
tinct volcano : its repose was that of a violent death. 

Our dinner at Greenwich went off admirably. Tbe 
white bait were in prime order ; we had brought the winei 
^-urith US ; and Alderman )Vatson had been our purveyor, a 
sufficient eidogiom upon their quality. Arrowsmitb saog 
us some capital songs ; we wei^e all true and loyal Pittitai) 
and drank, with three times tbiee, confusioo tolhejacobios 
and democrats, who had lately dined together at the CroWD 
and Anchor, tocelebratc the anniversary of the French revo- 
lution, all pledging ourselves that we would never knowing- 
iy sit at table with any one of the party who bad lieeo thus 
degraded.* I propo^d the health of tiie Duke of York, 



* A^ the wqnt horrors of the French RevolmioK had not then been perpetrated, 




went, that the madness of paHjr*>sptrit,eTen'm itsfKMit-prandiaiebuittiioifa^ti 



9Hm Moranrso uak* 19 

imd happiness ta him in Ins apfrnttchiog mdrriage. Alder* 
mtin Trecothiek, who is a large holder of East India stockj 
gave '^ theapeedy downfall of Tippoo Saib:" our chatriBan 
gave " the safe deliverance of the French King from the 
hands of his rebelliotia sufajects/' In short, su many bunoh- 
pen were filled and emptied nnder the influence of our 
€Hrn good qualities and those of the different wines, that 
avhen we re^mbarked we were rather more uproarious tbao 
became so worshipful an assemblage. Two notices from 
enr waterman, that we should lose the tide if we did not 
^art, had been answeied by a Unanimous shout for another 
bottle, so that the shades of evening had gathered around 
tts, when we at length embarked. 

^ In the morning, I bad noticed Ihe towers and domes of 
London, emer^ng here and there from the dim smoke, (ike 
veaseb riding npon a~ murky sea and catching the rays 
vrbich could not penetrate, although (hey gave a reddisii 
tiue to the fuliginous atmosphere benefth them. My at-* 
teiition iVas now isroused by a imich more singular appear- 
ance in the sky, which, although the night was moonless, 
was lighted up with a fierce, unnatural glare. Sparks and 
Ignited flakes were soon seen ascending into the air ; and 
it now became manifest that a great fire was raging in some 
fNurt of tjie city. ^ Selfishness, I suppose, is as universal as 
it seems to be natural, for, instead of compassionating the 
Sttflferers, whoever they might be, each began to calcU'* 
late the ptobabilities or possibilities of his own loss. On 
comparing notes, it appeared that the whole party were 
pretty well insured ; but, alas ! some held shares of one 
Fire Office, some of jinother, and might thus be damaged 
at secondhand, although unacathed in the first instance. 
Our various conjectures were soon converted into certainty, 
for, on hailing a boatman,, we learnt tha't the Albion Mills 
were on fire, when it was agreed, as our barge eould not 
pass the bridge, that we should land at Billingsgate, get into a 
couple of wherries tlbove bridge, and proceed to Black friara. 
7hts wedidaocordii^ly, and, as i had never before witness- 
ed a spectacle of this nature, 1 was not a littleimpressed 
* . . 

fmnfi so rabid a character. We now contemplate politira] movementa in Fraqp* 
^th a comparative toleration, which, it is 'to be hoped, will uhtmataly extend iU 
mdti(»nt»g iaSuence to our pwty differMlcet At liome^— J&«L 



do littBr MOMMMIf JAMS 

Htilb its melaaelKilf grtHndMr* Ifa ippii^aohiag^ liw dtj:^ 
tke wbilened Tuimf of Londoii raarad itielf out of lh» 
fUffounding darktieBS wkh :a speotml fhastiiosai^ vrliile th 
bornislied beaeoni on ilia nimnii.of Ihe -lAoiBaiiieDt, Qatki 
ed omtQOiMly ia:the air, as if to ntouod tbe^tababitaoUilthit 
London bad once already-bees deatroyiftcf b^ fire* Theil« 
iamioated doineof St Patii's buiig iaihe aky }iiieaii.ecti^ 
ed Bun, jorroooded by apirea, and iorreU^atid piiinaele%ia 
the lower spaoe, vrhich teeaMdlo lifi Up tlieir lerr«»*8tcicfceii 
faees aod to look oot of the bbdk oigbt^iisif.ito.iijiqoin 
why tbetr dark ifesl had been diatiirbed. ..The fii&d gbaia 
lipoH the aliippiogi tbeflasfarng of 4he river; twhidh bora-tfad 
hue of molten copper, the burttkbod botiaatopa,.fBany of 
them covered with apeetdtora, the oohfuaeduburrying' of 
baiats, the irradialed faees and eager voices of the. erow^ 
upon Slack friars bridge, and ibeifuriouaioriickling end bka^ 
iftgand biaaingof the.devouring eiemefit^as with itafiaiy 
foogs it seized, and shook,; and .lore to pieces the solid tin* 
bars of the massive pile, aod flhen lea{ied trianpfamilly'td 
the adjoining buildings^ co«)atituted a aeeaqnol leis lertibie 
than magnificent. Hoar forrlnoate that the river prevented 
lis axiensionr t<i the heart of the metropoka, and .how ho^ 
mtiialinglo human pride to refljct that a aingbapark may^ 
in^ aaiagie nightj deatmy what it bai required naanty agei 
and many generations tu buildup ! i< 

. As I wialked home I recalled . Seneea^^ iacome neaooal 
of the total demoRtioi^of Lyons by a dreadful coofiagraftkm* 
" Inter magnain urbem;et nulfaun oox unaittlerfuttV * 



CHAPTER VII. 

1792. 

*• 

The mystery of Guy WelfordV long didappearatioa is 
at iengih solvedv I have had a viait frdm Hamniond, one 
of his boon companions, who, with no Uttie difficulty, hil| 
8tt6<^eded in ferreting out the place of his retreat, anf^ 
none need now wonder that bis aechision has boea ao peitj 



Ibct. Ttii^ flamifiondi a poor |iortrait painter^ liMiging 
•oinewbere in the purlieus of Sobo, and picking up a sorrji- 
livelihood from cheap ftiUers, has really some good poinis 
ia bis character, dne of which is his attachment to Welford, 
wbom i*e calls bis living Vandyck, from his striking resein- 
UaQce to a portrait of Charles L by that artist, and whose 
incarceration be seems the more bitterly to r^ret on thai 
account. 

^< What a pity, sic/' be exclaimed, '< tiuit such a fine head 
sfaould be shut up in, the Fleet, where there is nobody to 
admhre it, and where, even if they did, they could hardly find 
a good light. in which to view it. Those large, melancholy, 
dark eyes, the curling hair parted on the forehead, the half 
aqiiiline nose, ttie sedate mouth, the oval outline of the face^ 
the expression so grave and intelligent when serious, so 
gracious and pleasant when he smiles ! Sir, he only wants 
a luft^on the chin, a ruff, a doublet, and a rapier, and you 
would swear that be had stepped out of a Vandyck frame." 

*< But you do notvtell me what has become of him." 

'' Oh ! what a glorious full length," continued the artist, 
not bearing or not heeding my remark, '' could 1 paint of 
him, with his dog Tycho by his side [-—Splendid head, 
sir, that Tycho! Half Danish, half English mastiff, fine 
mixture of power and repose ; dignified when tranquil,and 
terrific Ivhen roused — good subject for a Schneider*-and 
then the coloring r" 

'^ But I want to hear about Welford, not about his dog." 

** Well, sir, and don't they always go together 1 that's 
why I wish to have them on the same canvass — the red- 
dish brown of the dog and the " 

'< Pray, Mr. Hammond, give me to understand where you 
last saw Welford." 

" Why, sir, you know the rich city-knight, Sir Gideon 
Higgins, lives at Hackney — sumptuous bouse— painting a 
family picture for him : sad Wew-^beat me down in price 
— seven children, all to be introduced. Lady H Confin- 
ed while the work was in progress, and now he wants me 
|e throw in the baby in a lace-cap for nothing, because I 

eed for a family picture." 

« So far as I am concerned, you are throwing in the whole 
ure for nothiLg, since it brings me no nearer to Welford 
his fate." 




$2 ' r^t iMsfMsmy vitr. 

* «Ay, thai'« wlibtt i^s^frfstcbmlflit fd. Laptf 
having reearereH, and the painting beib^'nelRrty c 
iritis a great deal toiogbodfor ttieftidney)^ StrOid 
a tartte-drrnier to aomfe <rffii» brothcr»eiti2ei>s — jo 
genrant was asked that T hriiglit h^ar'ftre opinio 
company tipon the likenesafes; and'Ouy ' Wfelfofc 
might ding to them aftei- dintier, Sir <jr{deai<tf hntt 
him a few days before at the anniversary of the A 
Dispensary. Touehy Gtiy W^Word^ FisMpect, Wi 
fcavc gone btit tlint the knight, getrih^ the hint 
•gave a special intitation to 'tyclio. Well, sir, cf? 
ner, of cottrse — plenty 6f turtle — M very agreeat 
ford particularly pleasant, tfH th« tkdies Retired, 
chairman, after a variety of loyal toasty, #hiclr S' 
afford prodijioos satisfaction to his giledls, if-1 m 
by their cFarTror, aniioonced that the nototioaft Dk 
had lately become his n^ar neighbor, al* Hiickney', 
that he should n=iver call; upon him, and ended 
philippic agtiinst him by giving a^ a toast, " Th'e I 
tile of Birmingham, and may they always have 
Priestley sauce ready for all Jacobins and de^oer 

"This would hardly soil Welford; who is hims 
of science,^ said li ' • .- 

" Siiithim, sir t I wish yoti had seen the Hglitn 
eye, as, with a vehement daisrii of his Hand Upon- 
he started up, exclaiming, 'Never will { drink sil< 
worthy toast, and'hever Sid I think thfet t should li 
it proposed in any scfeiety ea}Fin<> itself civilize 
drunken ruffians who lately lore down the hous 
ph^osopher,' and tossed his precious instruments r 
Into the flaines, acted tike What fhey were, a sei 
and infuriated barbarians ; but you, who-afenot ; 
-^you who ought to know better, hbwevel^ gross i 
may be yonr ignorance*— you who are only 'fili— — 
en ! I know tiot what yoti are lit for exdept the 
one another, end to that I most wiilingly consign ; 
saying, he made a stately half bow, and sYalk^ ci 

* At this pArioJ men of do^e.it station could am>t&ud ttlimtal i'kbb' 
down the house of an eoiioent Dbiiosopher and Dbfladthropist, merely t 
hi:3 political opinions; tt i^ vreTi' 'to recall such facts occasionally, tha 
tvarned by tha past of 4ia ^baaing mfluence^ «f pftrty-tpiirii, Wh«m it 
ilQCheck9d.«w^4. 



iMtti, jiMfift.CliMeft^liO'Fir«t;migiii Iuim doM,(dowly feW 
lowed by Tycho, who, plainly seeing tbM i»if ouiater was 
ofleaded with ;lhecoiii|laflyv glared bacJi iipon tbenn with a 
•iibdiwd smcl, as aweh ai i6«ay^ doimi giv«ekher bintot 
me any^iurtbef catMO 9^ dtapleaBttrey^oc )ftou may ehanoe to 
itM ttrecQgiseqiieiicesJ. It was teftUya jfioa subject foi: a 
{HCtofe, wasn't it ?f' -.-.^ ,,.».. 

^: <^AIld Weiferd, I anppose, with .bia oani^'rodeneas and 
ioBpe^ioaityy . rushed out. of iheihooae TT 

'< Why, sir, I should have ihoagbi be^wcMiIdy but he ia 
mdly a«pieef fellow* -, After h«r«yiog to the gale, he m^st 
Mre recoUeeted that the ladies had given bira no catlse of 
efienoe, fur he returned^ infidehis way to t^ drawing^rooni 
witb an: uarnffled air^aang seireral .soogs^ was pronoiinced 
a charming person by 4he whole coterie^ and finally with*^ 
diiew; wheft he foond that the genUemen were about to raakei 
their appearance." 

} :i\ What baa aU this 4o do with themystel^ of bis own dis- 
iippearaece. ?''■ . - . 

't Yob fSiair bear-^you aliali bear. Lilllt Dick Snell, ol 
Crosby Square, the lawyer, was. ope of theparty* Y^u 
hoow J^thk^^^-'Oiidevsised, bloated^red^iaced, coarae, lik^ «> 
bad Rttfaens4— well, I met Diek lwo;Of three dayk ago, who 
told me that my aaucy friend, Welford, would now baY& 
lane: lo cool bis courage, as behadrbeen arrested for a debt 
of thirty or forty poonda, aad^ bad been doing peoaoce to 
the Fleet Prison for aomo time^"' - i. 

<< What ! for such a paltry JBUoi I'M exclaimed ; <M should 
ban thought. chat, either by myaelf or bis frieRds-r^-r*-" 
\ ^^Bm he/ will not see bia frienda/ interposed Uammood«> 
'^ Iiwei^ to^e Fleet imaied'ialety, and^ although I sent in 
mtjr:iiaiBe,'bfi.positiy^ refused nie admittance^ norbasbe 
aosMefed a letter wludi I wrote to, him on returning, from 
my.iMeieas visil, and so I am :come to consult with you 
what 18 beat to be done. Welfdrd is juch an hoborable 
chap in money-matters that I should not mind lending him, 
the cafh; but I am aa poor as a rat^Sir Gideon's moflejf^ 
having been all spent before I got it^ Not a shot in the 
kcker. D'ye understand, hey, howl" 

^<Haa Welford no relatives?^' I inquired. << Have ypo^- 




S4 TBB IIONBVU^ lijir. 



who ire to iotimtle wiih bim, aever iieard him mtke idhH 
•sons to his fmmihf V 

** Never ; nor hare I dared to aak him « qoestion on tk 
subject. Some mystarjr attaches to bis birth, bot upon tbii 
|>oiiit it is quite dangerous to interrogate him* That he ii 
a gentleman, spite of his oddities and his tipling propena^ 
ties, is manifest, not only from bis manners and attainmenti, 
bot from the smallneas and whiteness of bis hands, which, 
to an artist's eye, settles^he question at once* Were Charki 
L still living, I know what I should suspect." 

^< Bot the question is what we can do for yoor Knsg 
Vandyck, as you call him* Forty pounds, you say, will be 
sufficient to liberate him. Well, Mr. Hammond, in that 
ease I think I can promise that his imprisonment will not 
be of long duration ; but, remember, mum's the word ; i 
be is to be set at liberty my name most not appear in the 
transaction." 

'< Mote as a fish — dumb as death -^I never blab — a seeret 
buried in my bosom may defy the resurrection-men. Hal 
ha ! I shall be right glad to see my living Vandyck agaio 
"^iine head your own, sir; make a capital kitkat — &uik 
of England in the background — scores of money-bags ooi 
side table — charge you nothing extra for them«>-work 
cheap." 

'< We will talk of that another timfs, Mr. Hamniond ; (o$ 
the present I must wish you good morning/' 

After having picturesquely arranged his hat and curls ifl 
the glass, off went my artist, flaring in bright colors till be 
resembled one of his own bad portraits. Like all chatter* 
boies, this fellow finds an especial delight in the fancied 
importance attached to the revelation of a secret. Tell 
him that your communication may be published at Qiar- 
iog Cross, and his mouth is sealed; impart it to him m 
strict confidence, and it is whispered to every soul be meets, 
which,! foresee, will be the fate of the injunction 1 have 
now given him. 
0^ Forty pounds will not be ill-bestowed in punisbiag Wei* 
ford for his last saucy letter : his arrogant, contumacious 
spirit really requires humbling. To him who detests an 
driigation at all times it will be doubly mortifying to re^ 
ceive an important favor from oq^ whom he has presumed 






TAB MdHfiTCiy If AN^ « 85 

to«»ddire89t»^«iiefa cMieiiit^a^iiit teriniB. If leAA at once 
gratirf my spfeen, get credit wiih fhe world fo^ having per^ 
fortted a g6fi«roy« aeiioti; aad itoc lo9e fny money after att, 
for I dard say Weiford wiH evetituatfy^epay tne, it will t>e 
DO bad atityke df pdicy. Ttfefe'a the ad vantage of know** 
tag the world I 



AH is aceomplfslied as I eoold wi«h, if my attorney has 
dttly observed my instmetie^. By this time I presume 
thfit our high-^meHtled jail-bird has got back to bis old wo- 
man^ his flowers, his menagerie^ and his astronomical in* 
atramei^ts. My nfian of law is pledged not to reveal the 
BUfafie of bis ettiployer tiU tb^ f>risoner is liberated; by a 
preconcerted fapsna lingtia he will then^ suffer it to trans- 
pike, aaif accidentanyy and Hammond will of course has- 
ten to confirm the statement. My delicacy and magna- 
niniiy will tie woritiWood to his high naightiness^ the Don 
of Biike Street. 

Aif oeeorrence, which I shall relate exactly as I have gath- 
ered the circumstances troni the parties concerned in it/ 
has takenp me fdr toveral days to Beddington Park . In con- 
seqiteiice of the fairoral>le news^ from India, and the surren- 
der of Tippoo Saib's children as hostages, the Lord Mayor 
gai^e^agriiYid' entertaiamenit at the Mansion House, to which 
my fat&r and ^myself were invited, with a request that we 
wottid send aS'iinany of our Hvety serviants as could be spar- 
ed, that tfoey tnigbt ^assist in waiting, which was done ac- 
ooviKngly.' On tbe same night, my mother went to a par- 
ty at Croyddn, deekiiig herself out as usual' fn all her dia- 
nKmdSy ttiKl even tnaking a display of them to tbe towns- 
peopleilnd others as ihe Atood at the door, waitrng for tbe 
carriage to take her back to Beddington, although Edith 
piewGMd her to retire intd the ball. Unliickily , some Mnk- 
boyawere in attendilice ; and, aa my meihet never could 
resbt the *! eoiptirtion of parading her briltianlsin a strong^ 
li^t, she retained her post, which, a^ a matter of course, 
brdagbt on ati attack of her djomoikl ogtie. 
yStillmoreiinlueky was it that, among her gaping admir- 
enr upon firis becation, there must hai^ been some of the 
nameroas gang of housebreakers who have M long infrtit* 

yoL. I. 8 



80 v»l mmmwM mm 



dead of tM oighl, Edidi, •wakeo^ bjr • aoise ja hei 
roouiy itarled frpin >b«r pii|onr» wk^n, iqr.llM gbire of akih 
lera suddenly flashiag imoiieft Caieaydie 9a«ir« mffianlicM^ 
lag A pistol to her lieady sw^iaiiflf ttwi dbe^ was a dead wor; 
mao if she cried out, and demanding wUh afiroatk ifjhm; 
she kepi her diamonds. Ere her terror would allow her 
to give an answer, she perceived another robber with a 
crape over bis fac?! basiiljr iwasaekiiig lbe:dmwer«,.wiiicii 
he as suddenly discooiiooed^ exckimmgr^ i ^ , ^^ 

<< Why^Jack, this is the girl's rooniy ool.4ho old wsi*; 
man's.' :.'■'• -^-u 

The otfaer Jhcurried to the bedside oppostia to bis.coiap^ 
ioOyand, pointing jS pistol at Edith^^eaid in a Jioprs^ .whk^ 
per, " Hark ye, my dear ! teU us wbipb. is 4bQ old lady's 
room, and where she keeps hfr jewelsyiar we^ball jmsI tsJM 
the liberty of bk^wiog ont your bpaios*" f .-. ^ ; 

How wonderful no^st be ibeae^viiy of tliejniml ia»flMh, 
ments of urgent demand upon its resources I jirief as aia^; 
tfae interjval since her ficst dutorbaoee,. Edith bad auffident- 
ly recovered her self^pt^essioa to r^y-r^ - 

<< Swear to me that you will not hurt .niy oiolbeir^ or I 
will never reveal to you wbeie ^ber jewe^box .iS: Sf^creled^'' 

'^Ob! it's jepreted, is il ?" feeumed iba kei $pe^k^ 
<< Look ye^ miss, we 're not'pe^miiUf i^ ^^^g^ jwieari 
BO you may cposid^ Jack mad 1 as avforji tOOt U>. nn^ddte^ 
with the old womai^} if so be we,<gat , the aparkleia iweA 
now tell us where she hictes the bor-^ quick, quictft/V } 

^ And do yo%.sir» con«der yourself swo^ to the awi^ 
conditions 7"ra8ked Editl^ 4urnmg |o the first ruffian* ^ * 
. '< Ay, ay ; anytbit»g yoii like; but sharp'41 the Wietfrd,afi4. 
no gammoin^ so out with it, if yoti don'i-«rbb: to have yoei^ 
mouth opened with a bolleuV ,: 

^* Her room is up slairs^ iipsmediately af^r mine, and hsf 
jfwel-box is geii^ally kept >ifi. the .Wfurdr^," fatleml 
Edith, turning afide the muzzle i)f the weaponi ^wbiob al* 
most touched her lips, . 

« Oh ! you call t|ial >eii^ s^reted,^ do » jrou ?" aeid the 
sea>nd robbec^ '^l say, Jack, tbis girl^seenaa no; fool. 
Stand.ypu at thefioftr, and ke^PlR sharp looki^^nl, wbUe I 
go up suiir;i| nod hauled tbei^xw' 



^9 



Am Bdilhf hMd biMr U^mttiiig til i»v^ Imii ma tpfreheo* 
sion that one of the pistols might ^QeidemftHffooff, their 
remofal frcMii her sigh f^ftiidtiMwiitydfswal^ 4r the robbers 
fitmi bet r'er^i^, oeo«sk>«ed stt^eha f^ralskm of iMdKog^that 
ftseasstiofi of "MkiKSss- oppressed her, her heed swam, a 
eonfased hMmrsiii^'iiiber'earsyandif wasofiiy bf;a Tioleiit 
«iroft that she cou Id ^ prefveni iierself (rma faintHig. 1 1 was 
but momentary ; she recovered her^faesltieSy sate up in her 
l^yadd, hastily revolting what was best to be done, de* 
tera»Hied to make an «ttmq»t «t idafmii^ the coachman, 
nrho, from the eaase iriready menttooed, was the <m\y man- 
eervSAit ia the Miotfsev Stealiiig, tterefote, noiselessly odt 
of bed, she passed oh li^oe into ft large closet, arrayed 
herself hastily in a foqtieiaurr^ softly opened an inner door, 
wbkh oommanicaled with the baok stairs, and ascended to 
his apartment, its door was open j and the fellow, who had 
never uadressed himself ^ was lying apoa the floor in such 
ti (itate of (kep intottc^ioii that all her attempts to arouse 
him were una vaitiiig. - 

Baffled in this attempt, another expedient instantly sug- 
g^^ed itself to this brave and ready ]pi!, whomit has been 
the fashion to term frigid, torpid, apathelte^ and even stupid, 
fteturaillg down the stairs^ she made her way to the back 
door of the house, opened it withoat alarming the robbers, 
and ran across the pork at full'speed to the dwelling of my 
iate tutor, Mr. Hoflfman, who is ear nearest neighbor. 
- ^ A II her rmgtng having fa iied to rouse his sole domestic, 
a deaf old' woman, Edith broke alpine of his bedroom win- 
dow by a stone, whenj after a 9hor# delay, HofTman threw 
up the sash^ 'ejaculating scraps of Liatin and Greek, with 
eUAdry texts of s<^ripture, just as tivey had been jumbled 
together in the dream, which the sharp summons of his un- 
expected visitant had dispelled^ Recognizing Edith by her 
voice, altbough he could hardly trust the evidence of his 
senses, he no sooner learned the cause of her having so un- 
ceremoniously disturbed him than he exclaimed — 

*^0 DU majorum getUiUm! the nBfarioos knaves! 
Who would have thought of their choosing such a night 
for their attack, when there was only one man in the house, 
and he drunken as Stlenus 1 The cowards ! Tarry a brief 
spacoi my brave Miss Hawk wood, and we will chase these 



98 via imwrw km* 

r'lem from tbdr pngr^ for is it optntdJn l4efitk«i^tboo 
t not robtb]^ neighbor V^ 

In a very few mRUtet tho wiurlbjr icimt^ jokied bis fi^ 
lummoner, ew ideoliy betmying by bit eostwiBe tbq baite 
with which he bed •Uired bimeelf, hi« lege beiiig wilhoQl 
•tocktng^i aild the fowriBg*piece oa his sbQulder being 
brought iolo streege feilow^ip with hu nightcap^ wbicblie 
had forgotten to reiBave* 

Brave as a lion, rather hower^r fi^om abfteoce of laiod^ 
and consequent ignorattce of dagger, than from defiance of 
it, Hoffman hnrried'oo to the house withouia monaent's/d^ 
lay, apprisiog^ bis coropanion, in utterance as rapid as his 
march, that although the Aocieats had opt only a palron 
Goddess of Thieves, by name Laverne, who bad an altar 
near the Porta Lavernalis, and who is mentioned by Horace,* 
but, moreover, a God 4>f Theft, whose name of Mercurius 
was evidently derived from Merx, or merchandize ; yet the 
Jews and Christknsy in obedience to the eighth commaod* 
ment, had always held robbers in a proper abhorrence. 

*^ As a divine and a minister of peace," continued Hoff- 
man, '< it becomes me not to take away the life of a fellow* 
creature, bat I will put the rogues to flight by firing orer 
their heads, so shall I fright them from their booty, even as 
the scarecrow driveth away the birds from the corn," 

There was an unconscious propriely io his thus eomparo 
ing himself to a scarecrow, especially if he could have seen 
his own look and attitude when, in answer to Edith's in- 
quiry as to the certainty of the gun being loaded^ he turn- 
ed bick the trigger, beheld a powderJess pan, and exclaim* 
ed, in a look and tone of great amasement,^ << Euge ! mtri- 
Jicum! I thought not of it, but verily t do now call to 
mind that it has not been loaded these six months !" 

In this emergency Edith Was pondering, for they had now 
reached the house, what would be her best mode of pro- 
ceediog, when the cook came running out, half-dressed and 
open-mouthed, to tell them that her mistress, after locking 
the door of her bedroom so that no one could gain admit- 



Pulchra Laverna 



Da iQihi fallere, da juatum lanctuinqae Tideri ; 
Noctem p«ecatui) et fraiidibua objice nubem. 

Js'liif. 1— 16. £p. 



tfttice, had been hicedsatidjrfingmgHhe bell and ^ereanitog, 
^* Murder! ibievea»-^my diamoiida, rojrcKamonds !" till she 
had alarmed the whole hoiitfe* 

** The viUaini^ then/' said Edith, << have doubtleas got 
the jearel-box/* « 

*^ No question, muB ; Tor, at I peeped from my window, 
mimost scared out of my seveo senses, I see them quit the 
hoase, one of 'em canryifig it under his arm, when they 
aneafced across tiie Park towards tfa^ Pood Gate, and I lost 
sight ol 'em, so in course I rut down stairs immediately to 
render every asststance iit'my power before it was too late." 

^^Theo weeatinot preTeut the robbery," said Edith; 
'< bot we may yet be in tinde to track the thieves, and per- 
haps to reeover what is stolen. If Mr. Hofiman will be 
good enough to take the pony, gallop to WalUngton or 
Croydon, give an alarm, and get . the assistance of some 
armed men, we will commence an instant parsoit, and may 
perhaps iatercept the rdbberii before tbey reach London, 
which wilt doubtless be their destination. The coachman, 
I JBuppose, is still insmisible. You then, cook, mast assist 
Mr. ttoffman in saddling the pony^ Quick-^quick ! we 
must not lose a moment." 

" La ! Miss Edith ! I'm sore it's not ray place to be sad* 
dliog, and bridling^ and dressing, and trussing of a whole 
team of great, dangerous, kicking cart-horses* Not but 
what Vm the very last person in the world, as everyone 
knows, to refuse to lend a helping hand at a pinch ; but, as 
to going into the stables, I really cannot bemean myself to 
anjrsuch sort of particularly improper proceedings." 

" Hold thy peace, good woman !" cried Hoffman. '< I 
need not thine aid. The pony shall be saddled in a trice. 
Miss Hawk wood coonselleth well — I will ride apace — I 
will alarm the natives, and we will pursue these spoilers^ 
even as Jonathan did the Philistines, and make them ren- 
der op their booty." So saying, he hurried towards the 
sables, as if anxious to atone by his present activity and 
vigilance for the oversight of arming himself with an uor 
loaded gun. 

Edith's firat impulse was to hurry to her mother; but, 
as the cook assured her that her mistress positively refused 
to let any one into her room, leat the tlueves should pay 

8* 



M TBB Mimwrna mof 



a second Trstt 4o ft and ent her IhrtMit, she lesohred to mtke 
an attempt at traeiung the robbers in their oonrse, at kut 
for a little distance, so as to afibrd some certain cine totke 
peasants or others whom Hoflfman might haslilj colled. 
Morning had not yet dawned, bat the night was light 
enough to enable her to trace the footsteps of two men im- 
printed upon the rain-soflened waltc^ and so fiar confirmiiig 
the assertion of the cook that they were pointed in the di- 
rection of the Pond Gate. These marks however skoit- 
ly disappeared, the fugitives hafing doubtless betakes 
themselves to the grass, where she could oo longer discern 
their course. Conclading, howevo*, that thej must ba?e 
quitted the Park by the Pond Gate, she proceeded to it, 
and was again enabled to distinguish the footsteps of two 
men, crossing the road, and contiouiog down a nury koe 
on the opposite side. 

Here Edith paused for a moment to take counsel of her 
own thoughts. So long as she had remained within the ea^ 
closure of the Park she felt some degree of security ; bat 
down this wild and lonesome lane, which she knew to be 
skirted by thick copse*wood, opening into an occasional 
field, she doubled the prudence of venturing, especial^ 
when she reflected that the thieves might piossiUy have ap- 
pointed' a rendezvous with their coHeagues in some of its 
dark coverts. Her natural courage predominating at length 
over her fears, she determined to explore a little further, 
but to return as soon as she reached the denser gloom of 
the overhanging trees. With this intention she had caa* 
tiously advanced about a hundred paces, when, througli 
the bushes on her right, she caught a glimpse of a light at 
no great distance, and, stopping suddenly to examine it 
more carefully, she distinguished, by the dim rays of a hiB- 
tern, two men sitting on the ground, within -an open cow- 
shed, one of whom held a bottle for some time to bis mouth, 
and theii passed it to his companion. 

That these were the robbers she did not for a moment 
doabt, and a shudder came^ over her at the thought, for she 
felt that she was alone in the dead night, defenceless, and 
a^female, within a field's dmtance of armed despewdoes, 
who, if they discovered her, might be tempted to secure 
their own lives by the remorseless sacrifice of her's. ^ 



Alnsdjr, omier tfae ioAwiiee of this mtsgrrmg, imct she^ 
stolen several paces back vrards towards the Park, when she 
meoile(^6d that, by taking a circuitous ^ute through the 
ahair or tfaiokel that skirted the field, she might reach the 
baek of the died unperceived, and perhaps be enabled, by 
overhearing the diseourse of the felons, to gather such in* 
fiMmation as m^bt lead to their arrest as soon as they ar- 
rived in London^ An enterprise 00 daring, not to say rash, 
feqatred eonsideralion, and she stood for two or three mi'^ 
nntes^ wavering and irresolute, until she noticed that a 
pmmg doad had suddenly deepened the darkness, while 
Ibe increasing wind was loud amid the trees— rcircum- 
stances which determined her to make the attempt. 

*' I know the whole maze of footpaths through the sfaaw,^ 
argued Edith, *< so that I think I could elude the villains^ 
even if they were to discover and to pursue me ; but, in the 
glooin of the bushes below, and amid the noisy rustling of 
the boughs above, I am not likely to be either seei» or beard. 
My Blind is made up. I will steal round to the back of the 
abed." 

Owing to the detour, and to the cautious nature of her 
approach; some time elapsed before, by stealthy and noise- 
less steps, she reached the spot, a delay which proved higli- 
ly fiivorable to the success of her perilous ondertaking; 

Before they quitted the mansion, the robbers had enter- 
ed the housekeeper's room, from a closet of which they had 
purloined two bottles of brandy. One of these they had 
just emptied) and were commencing their attack upon the 
aaeend, when Edith, creeping on tiptoe to the back of the 
wooden shed, and peering, half breathless, through its wide 
chinks, saw, with an indescribable satisfaction, that their 
m^ and de^p potations had hardly left them in possession 
of their senses. One of them, hugging his comrade with bis 
left ncra, white his right grasped the bottle, was hiccough- 
ing snatches of song, to which his companion replied by a 
hoarse laugh, and an occasional snatch at the brandy. 

Freed, in a great measure, from all apprehensions of be- 
ing discovered, Edith could now take a more collected sur^* 
vey of the shed, and decide upon her course of action. On 
the ground stood the red morocco jewel-box, with a pistol 
lying on either side, and the lantern in front, the whole 90 



98 VBS J iiii *»M HOI. 



placed as to be wHhia erni's leiigtlM»f aa sptrtwre, oocattH' 
ed by a broken board in the abed. ^^ 

At the momfot wbeo the wind waa tNghoat, aothat dl 
was least likely to be overheard, she withdrew the pindl 
one by one, through the opening, and was atteinplii^;# 
get possession of the jewel-box in the same manner^ m\m 
it pro red too large to pass ; and the noise she made, iaei^ 
dekroring to force it throogh, occasioned one of theTobbcR 
to start up with a whispering exclamation of ^^ Hniloo, iidi4 
what the devil was that ?" 

Rendered desperate by her fears, for she thought da 
most now be inevitably discovered, Edith snatched up ooa 
of the pistols, fired it in the air, and, at the same time, gait 
suck an unconscious wrench to tbeoosk^, that abe drewk 
with a crash through the aperture, and rushed, with btf 
prize, into tlie darkest mazes of the thicket, trembling soi 
panting with irrepresstbte agitation. Her terrors weie 
groundless ; for the baffled ruffians, stupified with drink, nai 
quite as much frightened as herself, scrambled across tie 
field, and were presently heard scudding down the km 
towarda the wood. 

Satisfied thai they had taken flight in an opposite direc- 
tion, fifiitb hid the recovered prize under her roqiiefaiaie, 
hurried back to the Pond Gate, sped across the park, enle^ 
ed the bouse, rati up stairs,^ hurried into her mother's room, 
Che door of which had at length been opened, thibw the b» 
upon the bed, sank panting into a cl>air,and fainted awayi 

What reliance my sister had placed upon the.coK>peffa- 
tfon of our worthy friend, Boffmao, I know not,.but sheeouki^ 
hardly have formed too low an estimate of bis efficieoey. 
After parting from her, he hastened with a rare promptitade 
to the stables, actually contrived to saddle the pony, moiuH* 
ed, and ambled briskly away. Accustomed to be ianfiA 
round at Stock Cross, and to be brought baek to the park 
by the lower road, the animal followed his usual route, aail 
his rider, being totally unconscious of the procmding, tfaa 
two made their appearance at the stable door withih a few 
minutes of Edith's return to the house. 

As soon as the bewildered equestrian regained his recol'» 
lection, and discovered where he was, his astonishmenl,, 
found vent in a series of dassical and biblical ejaculatioQii^ 



^^rfNH* wbicii Jia^wned ^ hii flu's hnid bom Ui« cloor» Md 
WIS preparing to erkiee bia aTaertty mad perdevemoce by a 

^.^acoiid atart, when ha leafal tin^ aaj fwtber exertioaa 
were iinDecessary, the stolen property Itaving beea re- 

. My good oiother^ who had been acreamiog wiib terror 
^r a fuU half boor, foand bi*eath eaoiigh for a acreani of 
joy when. she saw the recoFered easket, which she hastily 
^Qolockedf carefully eoqnted its eoolents over aod over, 
and, baring ascertained thai all was safe, at length found 
time to expresa her wonder thai Edith could have the heart 
to frighten her in that thoughiless manner by fainting away, 
sifter she bad akeady suffered so much, adding timt some 
^peopie really had no more feeling than a stock or a stone* 

^< What a strai^e girl is poor Edith !'' was her first ob- 
servation nftdr I had arrived at the park, and had learnt all 
the precedir^ particulars ; '' only to think of her telling the 
thieves where I kept my jewels !" 

^Surely," said I, '' this arose from her affection as a 
^ogbta'. It may, perhaps, have been the means of saving 
your life;" 

'^My life indeed 1" cried my mother, whose boldness in 
the absence of danger was proportioned to her cowardice 
in its presence, '' what would my Hfe be worth without my 
diamecids ? They should fiave cut out my tongue before 
ever I woiifd have told them ! And then how very impro- 
"per of her to go trampling about the park, and down Pool 
Lane, all alone, in the dead of night, without ever stopping 
for her tippet, and bonnet, and her thick shoes !" 

^*Or her parasol, or her green veil, or her reticule ?'* said 
I^ smiling. <'For my own part, I confess myself to be 
amazed at her presence of mind, her perseverance, and her 



^< But it's all so onlike a young lady — so mannish, just 
like her foolhardy adventure with the cow^ — wonderful ! 
And as to her recoverieg the box, that I think was the least 
she conid do, after telling the villains where to find it. 
Then she seems to have no nerves, which is equally unfem- 
inine, quite indelicate. Would you believe it, Mark ? 
Sext morning I found her sitting at her drawing, as cool, 
0fA calm, and collected, as if nothing whatever bad hap* 






peii««l, wbUe I vat tMiiblifig lite ab Mpen leaf iH 
ring of ilie Mt«^wMiderfol ! Depend opoo ii, Mark,^ 
» sometbtiig wrong abMI |ioor Edhb, u I alm}s 
She 18 not at all like otber girb.'^ 

" In the latter half of the sentiment I fully concotj 
like poor Edith, a« you eall lier, ail the better for 
700 poaa cs aed a Timcioua and idqaacioiia daughter, i 
of one whooi yoo aeenae, as I ibiok, unjustly, of 
pblegBiatic, and tacitum, lind moping, I question v 
you would be now in possession of your dimnonda.'' 

*« Ah, well, Mark ! it is tery good of you to any i 
you alwaya were food of poor Edith $ you approved 
atlaeking a mad cow. Asfot me, my nerves ate si 
nil to pieces ; I can thrnk of nothing' alt day k 
ihieves, and robbers, and murderers. Dear me ! 4ic 
ly your hair is dressed. It never could have been 1 
your own valets What has become of Maubert V^- 

Favorably as I was already disposed to think of 
this daring ex piott has immeasurably raised her in 1 
mat ion, tboogb she herielf, seeming to think that 
achieved nothing extraordinary, avoids all aliusfot 
subject, and invariably withdraws from the room ^ 
is introduced, duielttde and diffidence like her'a a 
ly found in omon with such decision of character* 

When I related her adventure to my father, ba^ 
<rf>served, ^^Poor Edith .was always an odd child ; 
a foolhardy exploit. Did the thieves break open 111 
in which I kept my papers ?" 

On receiving an amwerin the negative, lie gaY< 
of satisfaction, and resumed the perusal of the I 
Post without further comment. An aflfectianate I 
truly, and a most tender-hearted parent 1 His pap< 
safe ; why need he trouble his head about any thij 
why should he bear any ill<-will against the robbers 
this is what some people call equanimity and good 

Ten minutes afterwards I saw the muscles of I 
working, and his teeth grinding together^ with sup 
rage, because (ndia stock had fallen a quarter p< 
His intense selfishness, in fact, renders him both p^ 
ic and irritable* A precious sample of a fine 4emp 

Extraordinary ! that J should n^ have found, on 



k 



Twm ummtmuMmM 96 

la IiondoDi «i7v«M#er Trom Welbrd ! Nor csn I 
|e4 sighl of the attoroey who, having caught a violent cold 
^•llciMikig the funeral of Sk Jorfiua Reyooldf , has been 
For Bonrie days, confiited lo his room*^ 
j^At the ittvttatUNi ef our^ partneri Mi^Poote, I aoeompa* 
oisd' hioilo Rotberbithe, io see a vessel of 200 tons, now 
tnuldiog by govermaent^ under the direelion of th« crasy 
CtfMrd Stanhope, who has got into bis emply hoddka strange 
Btolcboi for oavigatii^ ships vifitbouifilasta or sails, by meana 
of « ^eam-^ei^ne. The Navy board is to pay the eapense, 
ift :tbeh £rsl tnstance^ on coodilion^ that if the espefinaenl 
UMf ihe'Whoio^cQSts are to.be defrayed by his Lordsiupw 

Ttua^crack^brained vtsionary^se weH knonvn-for his peri^ 

ofia Ibwgb siiGcessftil experiment at the family seat of Che* 

Vfxmng, in 1717, when be sel fire to a room, upon thebase** 

mBi]^ alory, while, Lord Chatham and a largr fMirty were 

esMtiogioeB in an ujpfttt apartment, seciMred. by an air-ligbt 

cQpapoaitic^ laid over the floor, has epaceived; the laotasti^ 

Cfil4de« that rivers, lakes^ and even the mi^iy ocean itself, 

^ib^Uier in calmftor in stora>s^ may be brought imder the 

pilVVjer of st^ami Qotil the mflueiMQ4iod the intercourse of. 

n^B ahall extend to every . country, from the Pdes to the 

S^aior* Sev^al nauliod peisons and men "of soienee 

ivcfo exainifling the vessei and tfaa details, of his pkn^ 

arhi^ excited; no small degi^ee of conteroptiKMis ridiovie. 

^ lki$^r!9 was but one opinioii as to its certainty of total fml* 

afe^;aiid wo eojoyed a hearty lau^ at bis Lordship's ex^ 

pi^se^ in wbich r^pect the vessel is likely to resemble our 

laiigbM'. 



r . CHAPTER VIIL 

V. 1798—1703. 



. At last I have rseeived a lettof from Cloy Wdfovd, and 
a pretty speeimen it affordsy both of his todomitabfo pride, 
and of bis tasufferabia impertnaieMe.^-^--Seee ! 






<< A slifr of the toi^ae which, if «uefa a totpcioi 1 1 
were not unworthy of yooand of your Qgent, I sbouM htw |i 
taken for e preconcerted accidmnif hm revealed tO'Bie tiMt JM 
are the party who lately ilepouted forty pouiichi w&\ 
Mr. Baeli, the attorney, for the pttrpoee itf effeotiaf| 
my liboraiioii. The pboe from whidi I dal« tliis lettw^ 
will apprise you that I aiB still a privmer; having deeliaei 
to accept «y freedcnn al yoor hands. Allow toe, sir, td 
iaquite by what right you consider yourself autbosiaEeri ts 
impose aueb an obligation on me ? Have 1 recognised yovr 
title ta the saered, the muck abused name of frieaiii 
Never!. Andev^i if I bad, you, who are always boastilg 
your aequainlance with the world, oogbt to ^know thsl, 
wiiilesHn»ll:/avor8 cement, great ones disjoin and weakes 
friendshqK This result^ lik« many other infirmhiea of ha- 
man nature, may be regretted, but it cannot be aveidei 
A sense nf deep obligation being scareelf compatible wilk 
a feeling of independence, we are ever aniioiss to shake it 
off^ that we may recover onr^self-respecti and, where tUl 
cannot be aibcomplished by any equivalent retwn, or pias^ 
ticeal show of'gratitude, we seek to reduce Ibe value' of l|S' 
gtft by depreeiatii^ the motives of the givi^r* If tbedooor 
be worthless, so is his donation* Wliat casaistrjr^o ieA 
and jesuincai as^ that of a mind stfOggKng to'tM'etK^off $d 
oppressive, a huauliating feeling ? invent ntjnarrel wi* 
yonr benefactor, and you owe him nQtMiig-^annodeef 
payment too tempting to be often resisted. Hence the p|0»' 
verbiai saying that he who lends money to his friend loses . 
bbth. Though absolute equality may not be indispensabis 
to friendship, itscontinuan^flMst ever be precarious whevfll - 
there is great disparity^, for there can be no bond of red 
amity between a patron and his retainer. 

" If I detest to be! laid under ran obligation, it is from 
principle, not pride. Need I remind a classical scholar like 
yourself that the ancient titftbiesief the goddess Pandbra^ or 
AlUg^ft, as related in the Works and Days of Hesiod, was 
(^e of tke nitny/aHempts In aceonni for the origin of Biiil? 
All f be deities ^aspifiedto'eiidoir her with tbeir^tribi^f 
and the beingihutf!ebarilablf|r gifted bacaoaetiie meaae^trf 



ms MsmsB iMHb 9¥ 



am» ff|i — iliy qpadrtlia atrth ft faoiC ^ evib imvioinljr wa^ 
koowo. What lable eouid better t jptfy the miseries of de> 
peD€k8ee ufMm others ?. Ooe cao abnoet titiagioe that these 
aociem mjrtholQgiais had a^ Poor law, with whose misebie^ 
iroiK ftod demoffdistflg eflfeols they were not ttnac^aiBted* 
/^Cervaotesfottiida^ prison his best stttdyyand so have h 
Long eagaged opoltan astronooaieal work, fqr whicb I am 
io be ItbemHy paid when it is completed^ I tuive here cjui? 
ally, steadily, and pleasantly piirsoed my task, safe front 
tbe iostrasion of friends or strangers, att of whom I hare 
tigosously exclttded-^^sale from my own besetting tempta- 
iiOD^ for I am without the means for its induigence. la a 
few days' my work will be finished, when my own exertions 
will have enabled me, not only to clear myself from every 
debt, but to purchaw a small orrery, in addition to my proi- 
sent apporatos, with which I purpose making an extensive 
loar, and delivering lectures upon astronomy in the princi- 
pal towns of the kingdom. When I shall return I know 
not. 

' ^ jDream yon lliat I have been dall or depressed in the 
aoUtavy Qoafiaement thus, ioiposed upon myself ? Know, 
flu^ that I. am never less alone than when companionless, 
while, i^xHi this oecasioa, my studies liave elevated me into 
a society incomparably more miqestical and august than 
lbo« purest and the loftiest of foul and nmn-corrupted earth. 
SabliiMi ted, spiritualised, holding communion with the sun, 
jDOon^ and stars, the planets and their satellites, listening en* 
'ilaiieed/(o the sj^mpbonious music of the spb^sresi penetrat'^ 
ipg'Jibevwildftof space far beyond telescopic range, mine ears 
bsmeboen ravished with the hallelujahs of the heavenly host, 
and my awestricken and adoring^oul lias shrunk within tt- 
.tetf, daaated and daszled by the sight-repelling glories of 
ti^C^eat Ineffable ! From such an apotheosis of the Spirit, 
firom sueh a sublime apocalypse, I could not throw myself 
<^ sheer o'er the crystal batitements," that I might fall again 
into the tares and cavils, the follies, the vices, and the per- 
fidies of hollow, heartless man»- No, sirl I had something 
to break my fall. I had companionship of a higher moral 
orderV f ycho was the sharer of my prison I 

" Your favors I have declined, but let it not be said that 
I have refused to do justice to your motives. ITatt, sir, [ 

TOL. 1- 9 



Ml' wdl aiviFiit, mt^ iidtft feitm «to iMteMffife «^poarta» 
erjr prisoner to eat «inil 10 itriiik ia the spirit vithe tmnif^ 
ifth ohtpter of Proverbs—^ For ihoa elmtt iicap.ooabof Im 
upon his head ; and the Lonf ifaail lewatd tlM« ;' but il 
that of the Christian dnpetiflatieo^-^' Loveyoor ^otmim, thi 
fe nrny be thechUdfen of your Fmibor which is InheMea.' 
^f Otf woiiiM IM>I beitow obftrity W4ih> wiroiicheritaMt^moM 
^--yott would not smother your rietifn, like oKotber Tai^ 
peia, beiieath your tteaehefous gills ; still less «rouM f0S 
*do good by dtealtb/ socontrivingyHerertheless, astbstjsi 
may uhimaleiy * blari) to find it fiMne.' No^ sir ; yo« w 
above soch imwc^rthy arts ;■ jou are a gentleaaao^^-a nA 
banker ; yodoall yourself my niend, and I esnnpl, therefsii^ 
do less than sotmribe myself, 

"Your's, 
. ''Gut Wnvraik^V 



What fusfisoaadrbodoinoiirsde! Tb&sneerti^, laittQ- 
throptcal, arrogant paiiper ! Ay,p«itiper7 let murepealtiift 
word, for there is t:6mfort iiieppl^ngtoa feUosrlikefhiit 
term that includes erery pdssibto discomfort^ Us weH as if 
nominy . How completely the quch^ sigh se il cy mci tbe 
snarling cur, has detect^ my real motives ! This is humU- 
iating, I confess, but I stisH live to poniih Mna. for iiis ban 
ingratitude. He to set up for « Meutorstud a> niorslist I A 
drunkard, who can only ensure his ow» sobriety by loeldag 
'himself up wifhout a penny in his pocket I A ^^isy leeM* 
er upon astronomy wilt be something new^ at aM eveatti 
Re will searcety need an orrery to moko thewoild tM 
rottnd . { shall heat of Mm shl^ly in some pt o»n»tiai prissa» 
when, high as be now tarries Jiimseif, I asayl petohaatiS 
bring his nose to th^ ^grindstone. It is 11 Tsl^ phmei 
but it expresses my idea and my wish. 



Well may I exdai m with fioraee, 



« Eheu, fugaccs, PosthamQ, Poechuo^, 
Labumti^ aaBi-> ^ . - 



* 

H 



d9 

flMT, MmM ! hmm we ve«t^i6Md:«f Ibe year 1708)^ aii4 
mjr ciifOBk:le4--«»»iffd-<--«ie»oir (which flhall I caU i(?)i 
titfowa tiMle in a fit of iasineaBi it now. again lafaBn up 
m ihe haaitiide and aiimii broagbl on by a fit of aicknaaii 
For aome time pest I have lived in such a vortex, such im 
ioeoMaAl wbirt of pl ea e oro ' p ay, let me be honesty and 
taH it disaq>altotBw-that I have hardly attended to the hipsa 
itf time, or to the progress of public aSairs at home Mud 
abeoad, all-imporlafit as these have been in the last two 
feank 

^ Heavens ! what an awful period have I chosen for sow« 
mg my wild oats^ as the phrase runs. These democratic 
aoeioties and associations of pseudo Friends of the People 
ahoald all be instantly arrested and.seat to prison^ prepare 
atory to their transportation to Botany Bay, to keep comp»-* 
py with my old acqaaintftnce Barrtng^oni unless they prefer 
a voluntary expatriation, in imitation of Dr. Priestley^ Nev- 
er do I lose the opportunity of giving the loyal and popular 
4oast-— '' The land we live in ^ and may those who don't 
like it leave it;'' but I feel^ thsit I ought to have takdn a 
more prominent and active part, considering 4he torrent, of 
amtrchy and infidelity with which we are threatened. 



■*«« 



This annoying sickness, its consequent confioementi and 
a touch of low spirits to which i am little subject, have io- 
dttced me to take a retroq)ective glance at my occupations 
and my: pecuniary disbursements during the past #year or 
two^ the result of which is not particularly oalculated to re* 
store my cheerfulness. How the deuce have 1 become ia- 
volved in debt to such an- amoaet, in so short a timet 
^living chiefly with my father-^keeping only a phaetoui 
Ibiee. or four hackneys, and a huntery a valet and a groom, 
and giving dinners now and then to my chums and cronies 
at the Turk's Head or the Freemasons' TnverOi I ought 
not so rapidly to have oatrviamy incocne. 

To be sore there are other sources of expense for a young 
man in my circumstances, which are by no means trying 
in amount ; and, besides, I have never kept any exact reck* 
ooiag as to my losses at Lady Fhidy^s iaro table in Gold- 



100 Vnt MMSYBD 1U9. 

en Square, wfaicb I •oepect ttioti imve ros awey nithiD 
my ready money. But ii it wortli paying a round sum loc 
the pleasure of her ladyship's acquaintance ; and for Al 
inlrodoction which I have thus obtained iDto fiBMbionaUe 
society. 

Fat, fair, and forty— the precise combination recpiired faf 
a modish beauty, with bold blue eyesy-end a good setfl 
teeth, displayed by an ever-ready laugh, with a free tod 
easy manner, which never degenerates into vulgarity, a ist? 
tling vivacity, that sometimes sparkles into wit, a total abf 
sence of prudishness either in dress or address, and aeor- 
dial welcome, which, in spite of its generality, every ooi 
imagines to be personal, Lady Flodyer renders herself agree- 
able to all her guests, but more particularly to young meo, 
'who must naturally feel flattered by her marked atteotiosi. 
Expensively as her house is furnished, it presents notbisi 
glaring or gaudy ; her pictures are few, but by the best mis* 
ters; and the same good taste is evident in the liveries of 
her servants, and in the style and appointments of her car*> 
riage, a plain dark-cobred very low chariot, with crimsoa 
blinds and lining, and a bear-skin hammer-cloth. Not tit 
dundaat in quantity, exquisite in quality, with the best chaoH 
pagne and unrivalled liqueurs h discretionf her suppers are 
faultless; and, as to her visitants, there can be little doubt 
that they are of the very first class, most of them being 
persons of title, or in some way connected with the iibbili- 
ty. 

Fine as are my mother's diamonds, I have seen a dozes 
old dowagers at Lady Fludyer-s, whose brilliants must hate 
been twice as valuable, though they seemed to think noth^ 
ingofthem; while their daughters and nieces, instead of 
exhibiting that reserve and hauieuff which I had con8ide^ 
ed the characteristic of the aristocracy, especially whea 
brought into collision with persons whose class they may 
deem somewhat inferior to their own, are infinitely more 
frank and sociable, than the cold, starch, prudish misses of 
the city assembly. In this respect, however, i am hardly s 
/air judge, for my dress, OMnners, and appearance, have, 
doubtless^ occasioned me to be taken for a West-endiaa 
and a man of fashion. Ill-natured people affirm that her 
ladyship is entirety supported by her faro table. If so, it 



mast be t^ty profltabfe to her. f ckniiot st j it baf» proYed 
8o to me ; but then 1 have had rach a eoofoitfided roo of 
iH-lock, especialty when I piajr with Arthur Con w«if. 

As I ha?e become fery intimate with Arthur, td v^hom I 
cm indebted for my introduction a4 Gokien Sqnarei I must 
sketch him for my chronicle, premising that be dita in the 
House for a close borough, is a staunch supporter of Mr. 
Pitt's government, being elways within caJI when he is 
wanted for a division, and an active jobber or agent inclose 
boroughs and election proeeedings of alt sorts, by which 
Cleans he has been enabled to accommodate me with an lin* 
limiied command of franks. In appearance he bears a 
striking resembtance to the distinguished family of whioh 
he is a younger branch, being tall and rather tbm, with a 
ptoaiinent eye, a Roman nose, and the air of a person of 
qtiality; in spite of his gait, which is somewhat slouching. 
His leathers and boots are unrivaHed, except, perhaps, by 
Brummers, but he seems so little solicitovs of further gfory^ 
as to be occasionally sioventy in the rest of his dress, his 
profuse frill exhibiting copious proofs of his fondness for 
snnff, which is only partialtv knocked off by the ribbon df 
his dangling eye-glass ; while the back of his coat, owing to 
the enormous length and substance of his plaited pigtaU,f8 
a mass of polvder and pomatum. His hat, slightly conical 
in the crown, with a broad silk band, fastened with a large 
steel buckle, is worn on one nde, for the purpose of better 
exhibiting his powdered curls, and he invariably swings in 
bis right hand, as he saunters along Bond Street, a stick, or 
rather bludgeon, almost as formidable ns Colonel Hanger's. 

More pleasing in manners than appearance, Arthur's 
mode of accosting you is singularly prepossessing, his 
smile, and his friendly salutation, and hts long continued 
shake of the hand, being all equally cordial. Never do' I 
walk Westward without passing Up and down St. James's 
Street, for the chance of getting a nod from him as he 
loimges at the window df White's or ttie Cocoa Tree. 
Sometimes he wilt come out to join me, and upon one oe- 
tasion he quitted my arm, on being beckoned across the 
Street by the Prince of Wales, who was chatting wjlh Sh^w 
klan, Fitzpatrick, ancT Captain Morris^ flov*" delighted 
ivas my moiher when I related this oecurrenee to her! 

9» 



103 THE MQNEmi lUlT^ 

Coowtj, who is realty a most good*tempered fdiow^faa i d 
introduced me also to one of bis dubs, called '' The Ring,'' I \ 
consisting almost exclusively of young men of fashios, le 
who bold tbeir roeetii^s at tbe One Tun in St. Jamei'8 1 i 
Market, and patronise the prize-fighters. I am a sqbscriber, li 
also, to his tennis-court and billiard-taUe, and be did me 1 1 
tbe honor last Ascot Races of driving me down io fflf 
own phaeton, having first stipulated that I should put foot 
horses to it» and provide two mounted grooms. He is osd 
of tbe best whips in England, and a wonderful successful 
better at raoes, prize^ghts, billiards, cards, every things 
always hedging and cross hedging so as to be a winner; 
and yet, somehow or other, he is generally short of the 
flimsies — tbe Abraham Newlands, as be calls them*. Be^ 
sides leaving roe to be paymaster upon all occasionst with 
the old promise : — ^^ CSome, Mark, my fine fellow I you are 
lo be our cashier io^ay — fork out the shiners — I'll settle 
with you when I make up my betting-book at TattefsalV 
he has twice borrowed a hundred pounds.of me> and I'otber 
day, when I did not like to give him a check for a thiid 
hundred, my account at the Bank being already overdrawftt 
he got me to endorse a bill of £250 for him. Though I 
believe the acceptors lo be perfectly safe, I do not by any 
pneans relish these frequent attacka upon my pocket* For 
the sake of obtaining a complete intro({uction iota fasbioa* 
able life, I may submit to them for a while, but, when that 
point is accomplished, my good friend, Arttujr Conwayi 
though I have a real regard for him} must npl only excuse 
my making him any further advances, but must refund jeVf 
ery shilling of what he may then owe me. I naaygivei^ 
sprat to cusitcb a herring, but most egregiously art tbou miflr 
taken, Arthur ! if thou thiokest to and a gull or a gudgeoo 
in Mark Hawkwood I 

Needy as he is, or pretends to be, for I sometimes half 
doubt his embarrassments, Conway is surrounded by a 
Jittle circle of myrmidons— hangers on of the turf aod 
the ring, the tennis-court, and tbe billiard -table, some 
figuring as wags or miinics, and all of them being decided* 
ly knowing feUaws in their several vocations. Mostly of 
an inferior grade, (^* As Jove^s satellites are less tbaa 
Jove/') yet one of their numberi Tom Neville^ seems to be 



* THS MOMETBD MAK. 103 

of a better order, both as to birth and attainments, though 
he now fills the lowest post among them, being the bufibon, 
eomk singer, and sometimes the butt of the party. Drj- 
den tells us that Virgil in his Geprgics tosses his manure 
about him with an air of dignitj, a saying of which I have 
been often reminded in Boticing the cleverness with which 
Tt>m oonlinues to assume an appearance of independence, 
l^d enforce a certain degree oT respect while performing 
bis dirty work. Even wMIe submitting to t>e the butt of 
Conway, or of the men of rank aad consequence who are 
ht9 companions, Tom will now and then show them that it 
is more easy to be his superior than his equal, by a pungent 
repartee, a sharp personal retort, an apt saying, or a Latin 
quotation, which from any other quarter might give of* 
fence ; but coming from him only excite a momentary sur- 
prise, or a contemptuous laugh. Woe, however, to the 
minor fry if Ifaey presume to uike liberties with this '^Tri- 
ton of the minnows," wIk) is as jealous and irritable in one 
flirection, as be is submissive in another. A coarse and 
crushing sarcasm, a tweak of the nose, or a knock-down 
blow, attest his anxiety to extort from the Commons the 
respect which he has sold to the Lords. 

^* Really, Mr. Uawkwood," said Lady Fludyer, the other 
night, with one of her sweetest smiles, ^^ we must positive- 
ly have you among us ; I mean among the select circles, as 
a resident. Just at this moment there are so few charm- 
ing young fellows in the fashionable set, that we cannot do 
without you. The Duchess of PuliborOugh, who, by the 
bye, means to ask you to her next route, has just been say- 
ing that you are the handsomest and the best dressed — no^ 
I will not repeat what she said ; it will make you vain. 
And Lady Barbara Faiicourt has i)een desiring her son to 
take a lesson from the exquisite taste with which your hair 
is dressed." 

** After the Prince of Wales's,*' drawled Conway, "I 
protest I have seen nothing al all approaching to Hawk- 
wood's cheveUvr^^^ 

.^ They say, Mr. Mark wood," resumed her ladyship, 
<< that you ran away with aH the prises at the Charter 
House ; and Lord Asgill was informed by Erskine that he 



f 



104 THK MOMETBD ItJiK. 

once heard you speak at the Cicerooiftda, when yon weie 
quite young, and was astonisbed at your ^uency.*' 

<* I tell you what, Mark/' said Conway^ *' you ought to 
get into Parliament— yoQ ought, by Japiter ; »id if yofl 
were to tip e'm one of your Ciceronion speeches, a huodred 
to twenty Pitt offers you a place ander goTemment in nl 
weeks. Parliament's the sphere^ my bof, for talents lilii 
your's. Even if you did not dtstiogaiBfa yoorself, yotf 
would be safe from arrest, and that's no bad thing in itselL'' 

<' Capital!" laughed Lady Fludyer; ** freedom fromai^ 
rest for the heir of one of the richest men in London. Mn 
Conway's jokes are always so sly !" 

<< So much so," said 1, "* that I ha?e aom« trouble in 
discovering them." * 

This remark drew a hearty laogh and repeated ezclaouh 
tions of ** Excellent ! excellent !" from her ladyship, and f 
challenge from Conway to the Loo*table, where I presently 
lost fift? guineas, and walked home, rather out of bdmor at 
my bad fortune, and yet flattered at her ladyship's bigb 
opinion of me. She is certainly one of tbemost intelligest 
and discrimioaltng persons with whom I ever made aiy 
quaintance. 

Trifling as it is, I may here record an ooenrrence which 
gave me some little insight into fasbbniable life. Finding, 
after I had quitted the house, that I had left my gold snul^ 
box on one of the marble consoles, I ran back, a^, making 
my way op stairs, just as the last of the visitants had «ls* 
parted, I found her ladyship earefuHy removing the candle* 
sticks from the card-tables, and coUecting into a little b^g^ 
the silver which had been deposited beneath them (or dAi^ 
mone|r. This used to be the perquisite of the head servant 
who, m return, supplied the caids ; but the lady of the 
house, ap it seems, now takes this profitable traffic into her 
own hands. It must be subject to heavy draw^eks, for I 
have been informed that people of quality and fashioa 
make no scrapie of appropriating to this purpose all ths 
bad half-crowns that they may happen to take. 

f* What's this ? a card from the Duchess of Pulttxh 
iDiigh 1 Weill this ii getting into high life !'* 



TBS MOHBYEB MAm 105 

. Foolitb eoeogb, the freak to wliicfa I nin indditecl for 
this bilious attack, and a head-ache, such at I never had 
before. Our dub had been dining at the One Tun, upon 
which occasion the potations are generally deeper than I 
like, when, after a full allowance of wine, broiled bones 
and large bowls of punch were iittroduced, under the in* 
flueoce of which our whole party soon became uproarious. 
The aristocracy imd democracy were both represented 
at our symposium, Lord Lackingtqn being our chairman^ 
and his depu^ being a man of rank and title, while there 
was DO lack of boxers and blacklegs. The lords soon be* 
gan to exhibit the mischievous propensities of inebriety by 
Tsclki^ing their usual butt, poor Tom Neville, whereat the 
Commons . shrieked and screamed with delight. Opiates 
were pot into his punch, and when he dropped asleep his 
face was painted like that of a down in a paqtomine, after 
which he started up in terror from the explosion of a bun- 
dle of Breworks^ covertly introduced into his coat-pocket. 

lo this plight he was called upon for a favorite song, of 
no very decorous character : his health was then given, with 
three times three, and he was required to make a speech, 
wbicb^ instead of the maudlin imbecility, that might have been 
anticipated, surprised me by several most pointed and sar<- 
caitic bits at his noble patrons and tormentors, delivered 
vntb a half-tipsy comicality, that took away all appearance 
of intentional offence. As he prepared to resume his seat, 
one of his humble ne^hbors removed bis chair, and Tom 
feU sprawling on the floor, but, instantly recovering his 
Jegs, be knocked down the perpetrator of the joke, ex- 
ting, " I punUh a gentleman with a retort, and a black- 
" with a blow." 
^ A hubbub and a scuffle instantly ensued ; the profes^ 
siooal and amateur boxers began to square their elbows, 
and we should have had a general fight had not Lord Lack- 
ington,Conway,and myself, interfered, separated the braw- 
;ler8» and broken op the party. 

Had we been sober we should now have betaken our- 
selves quietly to our honies, but, being literally pot-valiant, 
we sallied forth, accon^nied by Tom Neville, reeled to an 
obscure -suburb, smashed windows and lamps, attacked the 
watch, one of whom very properly broko my head with bis 



106 Mn MomeffBD mau 

tttff, ftod fittaHjr foaad oaneltet, aH foot^ looked tip ii i I g 
•mtll, dark WatchiuMifle. . I « 

This ^EfictuaHj sobarad aia^ for thaexpoaiareof my anwi 
thoald wa ba broiigbt before the mamtcalea ia the mom* 
log, might do ma ■erioin injury in the eitjr. Bribiiig tk 
watebman, the usual rasouroa upon aacb occaaiooay woiiU 
not now avail, for the felleivs bad gone lh6tr roundaviei*^ 
ing ua to our fata, and mcape seamed impradieaUe, until it 
occurred to me t bat if I could reach the foof I.«ighvp€^ 
baps, by removing the tiles, make an apertitra aufficien^ 
large to admit the passage of our bodies. Toaa Nefilb 
offered his back, upon which I stood ;, the tiles yielded to 
my hand with very littfe resistaaee, the eraxy rafteia wsre 
easily broken, and, in a few minutes,.! iiad pulled mysdf 
up to the outside of the roof. By the as»ataaoeef 'fosi 
below, and myself above, Lord Lackington and Artiisr 
Conway were presently extricated, and I was atretefaiag ost 
my arms in order to puli up the remaiaiiig prtaoaer, wbes 
his lordship dragged me forcibly from the roof, awesiiDI 
that no one should let out Tom NeviUe ; it wookl be saci 
a capital Jofce^ such prime fun to have htm bro^ht upM 
Sow Street next morning, witb his face painled like aiHbw% 
and bis pockets full 4»f ' fireworks. 

<' Egad, they 'H take the fellow for another Guy Faato 
•^t'bey will, upon my soul, so comealong, come aloi^iO^ 
man of money !/' biceoughed his lordship. 

Vain were my eapostulatidna against tbis gross act of ia>' 
gratitude. I was puHed away by my laughing companions, 
and. the sight of several returning watchmen induced aie 
to run off in an oppositedireciion^ to jump ipto a hoekaey- 
coach, and to drive home, where I have been a pnsea^ 
aver since, with a confounded bilious attack, and a iackii]|[ 
headache. But, after all, this^ is seeing life: ay, and in 
good company too. 

Really that Tom Neville is a clever felkiw% HaittM 
overheard his lordship at the watebbott9e, he has wfieaksa 
a practical revenge rather more spirited than he usually ex- 
bibits towards his noUe or we|althy patrons* On being ia- 
terrogated at the Police Office neat morning, be gave ia 
his name as Lord Lackiagton ; and ibe papers are food ia 
reprobating his losdsbipr's seaodaloos aoiidiuc^ and in re- 



i 



lOT 

gmttiog the 4i9giice brooght upon the whole aristocratic 
order bjr the appearaoce of a noUMiao, paiated like a 
IBOttDtebonki so that ewen his friends could not recognize 
biad^ loaded with dangeijou^ fireivofki, and arrested in a 
draokes nigbt^brawl ! His lordship will be furious, not so 
moch at the ezposnre as at Tom's impudence, for it is one 
of bis coarse sajrings, " If 1 pay a fellow for being a para<- 
aalfl^yl esfHici htmi ^ ^^<tf » his ^money «" It ronH be coofess- 
<0d that if he were Aot* Jord, he might l>e deeni«id|by sonye 
^•opie^a low^oitHded feUow. 



.-?•', f^j n 



''* 



Boor .Tom Neville 19 out of look. Last March he lost 
Asiifijend Lord Berrjmore) who waso^fpidMtaMyisbol ; and 
mom Laid l^ckington, loffiioded, as I jeintictpaledy by lUs 
^BiesaBumptioa of hie (latii^e^ be;i oast htfo^Q^^ 
."^lGBooi fa<tm fhMt Boibiagy for . i ba?e lari^ him np# Li 
la aqimon fMstotiijr I <couid oot do. lees, and a isost usirfisl 
i|bBow/>I Md> him^^t > He looks nfler my hcMrses, dogs, and 
ifiBwii0g<i^eces»^aoQflies|Mnk9.. it»Q> when 1 hafe no better 
jwata de»4a4fae T^^oMi Coiirt^ and the bUKtrdrtabk, in the 
dBiMniiagi.*(telheaiies^ Ranelsgh, Vauidiall, ftheaover J Uke 
.ol^B%bl» i <kMi5t?know whalJ ah^iikl do without bifli^o»- 
ipeenllf at iay Tamr^tdiiiiDera, wfaeie he «oaiits Jihe perl of 
ponreyor and biHlerraifWeU as^ vice-ohairmaii^ bu6biMi,«lid 
tett. . rl» ooe eapaiihy 4>r?Qtber he mu^t seocoed, fot if you 
ieaiUMt lough iwith hi««: jLou may alw^^^ al him* 






Lady Fludyer took me in her own.iQarriage lo thoPucb? 
u 0f iluUboiDH^i 8« wheire^ I loei 4 mosi f igmcioius leuep- 
<lHur/iftned lweoose:tttnie with her Aieee^fllBd had ll^ bM** 
-m e{£adiAg'i»y. same tnsoiibed m her fnace's regular vis* 

iAog list*. This distitielion is most impoftailt, ainee it ea«* 
cioH»uBB j^oneo^wthe ftshioiiabte eiielefl ^mid mostflal* 
yhiisig^^omee ii<ts^a«ewi{dimenl to my<pet8QBat ments» with* 

OQt£e4eart relerefnee lOHn^rpecimiary , prospects*. After 
•Ibial ^really doubt whether. 1 can^^ondAEweud to the d^ 

jjiiiciiub^, aed^'tfae ml|^, unbilled ; balls of the AUeoBwrf* 

tUbm loog^l shall beobi^d loeut tto}qMjr,.ata raaidewt- 

This 1 ioresNe dearly. / 



loe 



CHAPTER IX. 



Accuse me not of negKgcvice or disrepect, laott rateni 
Anno Domini 1794, if my chronicte Imi^ failed to ptyili 
devoirs to thee ontil thou hast nearif slipped away, le 
thine own eventful character is the sole caese of my remiss- 
iiess. Sooth to say, I have been too busy with thee tomiad 
thy business. Pleasure and duty, public daiina and piinte, 
have* scarcely aitowedine a moment's leisofe for triftag 
with this plaything, this reeord of mine, in ceiqunetisa 
with the gentry of the city, and, indeed, of liie wboleeoaa- 
try, who are enrolling themselvea as vohmteera to repd 
the threata of invaaion so insolently fulmins^ed faj the Pinl 
Consul of France, I have t)eeonie a meo^r of the ^CS^ 
Light Horse, and I think t may witii^ot vanity anwt/'far 
his admitted by the whole corps, tbat D»y eppearaAGeead 
my manner of going through the cavafiy evolutionr, wIm 
I exhibit myseW at the pariKle gi^trod in Gray's lati Laas^ 
is Aeud omnino aparnandvin, as HoSlfnan wooid aafi er ip 
eqaivalent English, something wortbseeii^. ^^ 7^ .; 

Of my Hobte Mack charger it is auffident to aa^ithat iM 
cost me one Hundred and fifty guineas ! i have oamed 
him Telegraph, not from his quickness, fleet as be is, bat 
because he is ahnost as much talked of as that recent tod 
mos^ ingi^niousinveiHfoii. ^ 

My eflrroimenf in this corpa has disposed some parl^ 
that gathering though silent dissatiafiiction which i haven- 
eently o^&ticed in my fether, not only faeeattse it^briii^ an 
into almost cfarily contact with my brother ctticesMr, fnaa 
whom I have been hrtterly so mudi afieaatedi bm becilMS 
my military aspect and figure are avowedly so eomnaandiai 
and distinguished*. After our last review^ a mreamileie* 
lajEed for a moment his ^rp,'aoatere features^ eaCoIood 
Harries rode up to him, exclaiming, ^ I assure y OU) Mr. 
Alderman, I have not a4)et4er horsemaui or a more 8eldie^ 
ly-looking fellow, in my whole corps, than four aonl''- 



109 

<< And I ebterved^^' repUed mjr hxhetj bMimg, 'Mhat, 
when they dismeuiKed, and all stood togelbor, Mark wai 
the tallest fellow in his company." : 

In repeat iiig^ to ma the eotooers flattering remark » tny fa^ 
ther added, eodearoriag to look arch and s^nificant, which 
M parted a railier sinister expression to his cottoienanee, 
*< Sir, I suspect that I can account for year ddng yoor best 
tOHlay, for I observed the Mayoards among the speetatCMV, 
asid I tioticed that Aogusta's eye follow^ you wherever 
foa galloped." 

. This is likely enough, though it is not impossible that the 
tiioiight may have been suggested by his wishes, for recently 
he has lost no opportuatty of pointing out to nae the great 
aidiraalBges that would result from my *< striking up to her,** 
mi faerpbrases it. 

Aug^la> I find, bad been invited by my mother to at^* 
fend the review. I saw her from the first, but I reaUy sooo 
foi|^ her presenee, for, in another quarter of the field, I 
perceived Fanny Hartopp and her mother, and from that 
moniettt I most confeas that I exerted myself to present an 
udvttfiUigeotts appearance. The poet laureat has lately been 
tcaaalating the^Odes^of Tyrtssus, that be may inspire our 
dMsntrynien with martial ardor; but, if I may judge ffonn 
my own feelings, I should say that a glance from the ad- 
miring eye of a pretty — no ; they will have it that Fanny 
ia not pretty^- well, then, from the beaming, aSeetionato 
iafe of a heart^etealing and heart*givtng girl (fcNr I sttspeel 
ube has made me a present ef her's), is the soldier's most 
cbeririied: end nK>st. efficient stimulus* Po<Nr. Fanny. 1 I 
iiave thought it right to absent myself from her for some 
fia»a past, but there was no reason why I should not allow 
6iU indo^;enoe to my military enthusiasm at the review* 

As to my mother, her admiratbn was so irrepressible, 
that she ran from carriage to carriage, and from parly to 
pavtyi^*potnting me out, ami ejaculating, '^ Wonderful ! won«'> 
derful ! Beautiful ! beautiful I Now did you ever V^ and, 
af^r having exhausted herself with the latter indefinite in- 
terrogatory,, she turned angrily upon £dith» and scolded her 
Car Imng so cold and phlegmatic, and not being thrown 
into similar ecstasies. In the compliments which Edith 
faid mej I believe ber to hevebeen more suM^re than aoaafei 

VOL. I. 10 



114 

of her M^^lltori; who dM iM tUke ia ^wee 4keit mm tod 
l|V#lb6M to iMHAfMelf ^t^p§9d $ but idMie cevtaiolf it iqi 
apparent coldneM, or rather •tedntcneH «ad teM^mmtt^ 
slon about Sditbi wbiob «re somettme* fatber prmrekiog^ 

Ptfrea^ vainty bat lodoeed my^fcther toi bave a^y ^ 
trait fwkiMl by' PbilKf^ for ibe imt exMbitioii. It ii to 
be ^ ^tk Itff gtb/'and l^ai* to be in Tegkneotali «f eoane, 
iisiniftig my i^btanii apon^beriinaUier of T^kgrapb^ ithM 
Ihrrk eotor will mabe a ctpkai backgibuiMi^ eapaciaify wiM 
relief ed bj the smoke of an engagement, for foor eaaiaa 
heroes alwajraxroistbeir legs in a becomtng^ altitttde, kto 
l^fiafvelf agatnat their chargers^ a»d astwne aa Mrof peoa» 
liar ftondftafcinee ki the very fiM and Airy of a deadly batik 
The beade of ioine poopie woald be tamed by «U tMsf» 
radeand boasting; but I am perfectly aware ^t^libaVtao 
real ground for a single «aifi*glorioas feeling, mjp figmebe- 
tng a mere iaeeidetti of Natiire/«ad oiyt bors^naoabip atif 
Ing from aoy having been aaeostooiad te tt since I was t 
child* ^ • . .. • 

Most manifest is it thnt this free andr happy coumtsff^ 
Irnly described Iqr Mr; Pitt as the ewvy and adhniraiiDB af 
surrooiiding nations^ ntedr nN the «xentona of berr biaw 
aiid loyal 4off^, for affain, both abroi^ at honae^ pia> 
s^nt a troly >tbreat«aii(g' aspect; < Ffancel^ omr cU nnd kfr 
remte^ atid indeed-ouroatcrat enemy, is oiaiking rapid Midsi 
towards the aobjogatioo of the ooafineat« What a siaga* 
laraplietade does that formidable repnbKc ofler 4o> the m&oU 
GMqoered in snoeessiDnby avery nenif feelion tbnt aprtsgi 
bp at Paris, however eomcfaiptibioiiaod jwt eonqkntiog^ 
au^t^essibn avefy foreign encasy, hbweaerripciworAri, stbi 
deadly throea a w conv uisionr of her heart only im|MMi]f^a 
more terrific aitd irrcnntiUe energy to iierlunbs,.tfbc aeesn 
fo gather strength from disease, and vitalilj from the feij 
agotHCs of death, fiven^lbe occasbnahoTOrtlMawof die 
of her armies is as usal^w as it is rarev^wbeca^yon ^jcailsad 
with a power which, feasi sufadaed wheasaoat faaat^^risdi 
fi^i^m every fresh prostraition with a new wAuatesaa^-Mka^vigar. 

Thank Heaven ! obr navy piesertes its ciU attpseaMif 
and reiiowa, Lord How^aiet^ having «bed< a glory owr 
the present year, whidi has already dis^raed scmn oflbe 
gtscin that Ind besa gatbariag around k« Tocclebialt 



Ill 

Am tv«Rt|.tlie Lord ]ilagf«>r.gliT«« frMd ^tMteiaiiicnl at 
the Maosioii .HoaM;.«fi«r.p#rlici^lMig'ki :ii4ii^ I ImIi 
IldMi to sbe iJie iUmmjiitioflf, srbich lim« uttmualljr apleo* 
did. What odd RolmM that giri aomalimaa biiachea! A 
geoeid tiittiiiioatmii akecontmdi, ia th^ moat ^itdbii^.the 
moat oaeiesai and the rhoat obfeaiiooable^Qf all aMdaa4>f i«^ 
joicittgv ilM oncmiiaua coaly. whwbiiMgiH>fMfpa<ii{d^^ 
•n iioapilaU be^ tbroMro away upoa a WoU of aeboolhof 
koi^ire, ai 4he ifnnfiineftl> mk of iia beiiig;a<ioierltd io tba 
conflagration of a city, a bonfire which is seldom unaoeooir 
imwodl^rtotaoddtttiiibaffiQe, which ioetMablydepriYea a 
whole poptiiation of « Mgbi'a reat, and oot aeldom tofliata 
mm irreparable iojary upon the narvova^ the ttosid, and tbf 



<* Bdt if we wish to give the awiaish iiiiiltiti«de a treat,? 
aaid I, 'f ««d they «fe not capable o( imjr more e)ei«tad eo* 
joyoimt^ what would you do ?" 

. ^^ ( would endeavor to inspire ibera wHh a better taste ; 
at all events, I would not miftisi^ to a bad. one* Look, 
brother i la ihta the way to ^eivUice tbc^.awiwh lanl^tiide^ 
•a^j^oa call Iheoi ;?" 

And she pointed down a atreet i where the aso^ -waae ftftr 
rioosly assailing Che house of a poor deyil of. « «Hiaker^ 
vbose wari-oppoaed creed would not aHeiW him loc^ebrats 
ft victory. 

What hypocritical Jacobinisni I 1 hate lho9^ ; IWk«w» 
arith their fantaatieal aeraplea^ and for asy .own p^rt, I 
ahovid not regret if the wholai rabbleioent of. diaaeatara 
wrere te ahip theoseelveaoir; to aonie neiw Pemiaylvaiifa. 
The land we Uve in, say I once morC'-r^Ad may Uiose whn 
doB^I lifce ity leave it! 



Short, indeed^ baa been the docattott of my father'a con^ 
plaoaot moody if thai termniay be applied ton slight re- 
laiation of habitual austerity. How it baa happened, I 
know not, but so it is, that my recent engageroenta, either 
with the ckibs, the ToxopboKtes, tlie theatres^ the opera, 
BADClagh, or my Csshionable friendaat the west end of the 
town, have oeoasioned me to 4eep rather rakish hours, so 
arach ao, that I have not been able to present myself regu* 
larly at the breakfast-tabie, 

4 



ItwaspitI elefeii jaitetday morniog, when, w Ivu I 
tamtering oot of the powdering room, witi( my muk h 
one handi and a Toiumeof the Mysteries of Udolpboin 
the other, my (athcfr passed, and said with a stem look, 
<< We are well met, sir ; I desire to have a few words with 
you — fellow me to the little parlor." 

I did so, we seated oorselves, aad my worthy progesiler; 
whose irritation I perceived by his asftompiion of a more 
than usual eaimness, thus addressed me in a slow, soleaifl 
Yoiee. 

^* You are aware, sir, for I have often told you, tint I 
hate to have my equanimity destroyed — thai I cannot bear 
to have my attention distracted from business, or to be 
driven into unpleasant altercations, or discussions of aojf 
sort. On this account, although I have seen much, very 
much in your recent conduct, which I considered higb^ 
improper, I have refrained from noticing it, because I felt 
that I could not do so without danger of losing my teropefi 
and becoming agitated and worried for a whole day. To 
your late hours night after night, or rather morning after 
morning, I have made no objection, because, as your owo 
servant sits up for you and kits you in without noise, my 
rest has liotbeen disturbed, though it often awakens your 
mother, wbicli you ought to recollect. Nor have I fouoil 
fault with the company you keep, though I am told that 
some of it is disreputable, and all ulisuitcd to your positioo 
in sodety, beeaase you have never brought any of yoor 
boon companions, either to this house, or to Beddiiigtoo 
Park, while 1 have been at home, so that I have suffered 
no annoyance. Notwithstanding the liberality of your allow- 
ance, I have even permitted your account to be considera- 
bly overdrawn, because I could not dishonor your checks 
without injuring the credit of the banking-house. So far, 
I think, you yourself must allow that I have been a roost 
kind and indulgent father — ^perhaps to a culpable extent." 

'' I am sure, sir, that I have never made any complaints 
of a want of " 

*' Ck>mplaints, sir !-' interrupted my father, with an evi- 
dent diminution of his constrained composure, <^ com- 
plaints! No, indeed, I believe not. These should have 
come from me— they do come from me, for, while I am 



rrai noiftrkD HAH. 113 

toiling earty and lat^', and eipoain^ myself to erery sort of 
nnxiety— ^anxiety which i detest, I abhor, I abonoinate, in 
order to uphold the credit of the banking-house; you, sir, 
by your dissipation, folly, and thoughtlessness, are doing 
every thing in your power to peril and to undermine it. 
Nay, sir, not a wdrd^— hear me out, I mil not be interrupt- 
ed, nor contradicted, nor bearded by my owh son, especial* 
Iv when the proof of his gross indiscretion is in my hand. 
is the endorsement of this brit your signature ? You do not 
deny it. Well, sir, this bill is dmwn by one notorious 
ganaibler, accepted by a second notorious gambler, endors- 
ed by Arthur Conway, a third notorious gambler, under 
bis name appears your*9, and this bill, after being hawked, 

eerhaps, through half the city, has been this morning 
rougfat to me by a broker. What effect, sir, what effect, 
I ask you is such an occurrence likely to liave upon the 
credit of a banking-house, the most fragile and destroyable 
thing in existence— a thing that may be annihilated by a 
whisper^ Will our depositors, think you,'leave their mo- 
ney in the hands of one whom they may fairly presume to 
be the comrade of acknowledged gamesters; of one who 
may make ducks and drakes of their guineas at some of 
the hells in St. lames's; of one whose name, apart from 
(hat of the firm, ought hot to appear upon a bill of any 
sort ?'' . 

**]L confess, sir, that all this did not occur to me at the 
moment, and I fully adniit the impropriety of the proceed- 
ing, now that its objectionable nature is pointed out me ; 
but I had reason to believe, nay, I was positively assurec} 
that the acceptor was a solvent and a respectable person, 

and 1 am confident thBt Arthur Conway -" 

""O yes, sir, nobody can deny tfiat you are confident — 
rety cofifident of your own cleverness and penetration, and 
it is precisely on that account that I require, nay, that I 
demand a solemn promise from you never again to put 
yoiir own name, or that of the firm, to any bill whatever 
without my express sanction. This pledge is not less in- 
dispensable for your own safety and protection than for 
mine — will you give it me ?'* 

Humiliating as the proposition sounded, and dictatorial as 
iras its tonej 1 could not deny that it was reasonable ; be- 

10* 



114 THB »>1IETCP UAK* 

ttdeiy I had a favor to ask in reUira, towards which I thought 
my father might be propitiated by a rea dy acquiescence 
with his wishes. My filial duty, therefore, prompted m 
to give the promise required in the most formal manner, 
pledging my honor for its faithful performance. It was 
DOW my turn to prefer a claim, and I should have insisted 
jipon my admission to a proportionate share in the control 
and management of the firm, agreeably to our former ub« 
derstanding, and to the tenor of the partnership articles, 
but that it seemed rather an ill-timed moment, considering 
the nature of my recent debut in banking concerns;, nor 
was I sorry, after all, to be absolved from any close atten- 
dance in the city, an exemption which allowed me to pur* 
sue my pleasures in more congenial quarters. All that I 
-asked, therefore, was a discharge of the sum for which roy 
account was overdrawn, a request to which the old gentle^ 
man finally assented, after reading me the paternal lectuie 
invariably preached upon all such occasions, setting forth 
my youth, the liberality of roy allowance, the dangers of 
extravagancCj of dissipated companions^ of a rakish life, of 
late hpnrs, &c. • 

Confining my defence, like an able tactician, to his last 
and weakest charge, I reminded him that my bqurs appear- 
ed late in consequence of the great distance of the citjf 
from many of the distinguished mansions at which I had 
the honor of habitually visiting. Instancing in particular 
that of the Duchess of Pullborough, (where I had only been 
once or twice) and, availing myself of this argument to sup- 

fort a project which I had long been cherishing in secret, 
submitted that it wpnld be much less annoying to him, (I 
said nothing about my mother, respecting whose wishes be 
never troubled himselt) and infinitely more agreeable to me, 
if he would sanction my, takings a small house at the west 
end of the town. 

** Never, sir, never T* he exclaimed, reddening with anger, 
and starting from his seat, which, however, he immediately 
resumed. ** I wonder you could presume to make such a 
proposition to me. Your course of life cannot be of any 
very reputable nature, if it is inconsistent with your resi- 
dence in the city, where your forefathers have lived and di- 
ed for so many generations." 



TflS HONSYKD MAN. 115 

^' I am not awafe/' I repliedyPpmdwhat.piqued althUi re- 
mark, *' of any thing dishonorable in my course of life, 
though I may indulge. nov^ and then in theamusemofitSQa^ 
tural to my age. It is not impossible that you youfsielf, sir, 
when a young man^ may have been oceasioBaHy betrayed 
into similar excesses, if they deserve that name." 

Again my father colored, but it was a conscious blash, 
rather than an angry suffusiou— his eyea were averted*--- 
there was a minute's paqse, and his voice altered as be 
continued : — 

** Your insinuation, sir, is not very respectful, but I will 
frankly confess that there is some ground for your suspicion^ 
1 was not free from occasional excesses, they gave much 
pain to the parent who saw and condemned them, and it is 
only now, when I am compelled to rebuke my own son for 
similar naisconduct, that I can /eel, in its full extent, the an* 
noyance and the distress that I must have inflicted on my 
father. I would spare you hereafter the humiliation I am 
now enduring." 

After having taken several turns up and down the room 
in silence, communing apparently with his own thoughts, 
my father again ses^ted himself, and resumed in a softened 
Voice. 

^' Why should you wish to quit the city, where the name 
of Hawk wood has been so long known and respected ? 
Can you have forgptten that five successive general iooa of 
our family have been born in the same house, and buried 
in the same adjoining church ? Standing about six years 
since within that sacred edifice, while it was being demolish* 
ed for the enlargement of the Bank,.! saw their tombs rudely 
torn away — ay ^ and their very bones sacrilegiously disturbed^ 
in order that the money changers might be brought into.the 
sice of the Lord's house. Can I ever forget this ? Never, 
sir, never. .From my childhood I had cherished the hope oS 
becoming Lord Mayor, and of having a monument in (b» 
church of St. Christopher Le Stocks, whereon my civic 
honors should be recorded. The first wish has been indulg- 
ed — the second is now impossible." 

^'But there is the neighboring church of St. Bartholo- 
mew/' said I, " to which two of our family tombs were re- 
moved/' 




il€ TBI MONSm MAK. 

What t flash of Kghltiiog is thought ! Even wUb 
•peaking it oocurred to me that there wnn some little iad(£- 
cacy in my making thii anticipation, while, at the satnetime, 
my mind hurried forward to all the golden Tisions which 
would irradiate my own path of life, when the darkness o( 
death should have- closed around my father's. 

There is nothing unnatural in this. Rich old gentkoien 
must die, and their long-especting sons moat succeed to 
them ; nor is it any reproach to the latter if they sometima 
become a little impatient under the provoking infliction of 
paternal bngevity. A reasonable life interest^ — a fair uso- 
fruet nolKMiy would deny to wealthy seniors ; bat, (o push 
their claims tieyond this, is to usurp the juat rights and 
privileges of the heir. Besides, three score and ten being 
the allotted number of our years, it is manifestly unscripts- 
ral and irreligious to persevere longer in existence ; nor is it 
indeed honest to continue the occupancy of our corpored 
tenement after the lease is out. How true is the waggisi 
saying that no book would be more popular among the 
young nobility and gantry of England than '' Ao Abridj* 
roent of the Lives of the Fathers.'^ 

** The church of St. Bartholomew,^ resumed my fathef} 
after a pause, << is a very different thing. It does not con- 
tain the tombs and the adies of the Hawk woods. It .has 
been deemed odd, inexpiiaible, that a man of busiaell 
habits, like myself, should often present himself at the wrod^ 
office of the t)enk for the purpose of making transfers, oc 
of accepting stock ; tnit, as I wander at>out the courts zni 
passages of that vast building, my thoughts will sonrietimes 
revert to former days and long*remembered scenes, and I 
whisper to myself — on this spot stood the old family man-* 
sion of the Hawk woods, the house in which I was born, in 
which all the branches of our race were annually collected 
far the Christmas dinner — this is the site of the ancient 
ehorch of St. Christopher's, where we duly assembled on 
the Sabbath; hefe, where I am now bewildered with tba 
clamor of business, we sat in reverent silence, listening to 
the voice of the preacher ; and beneath the flowers affedi 
shrotM of this inclosed garden, once the burial-ground, are 
deposited the bones of my forefathers. The contrast of 
the present and the past suggested by such reflectionS'^the 



nu mmsno^ MAN. 117 

IrdvU of old memorm tfwt wiH llieo be coojured up^ may 
well account for the momentary abteace of my miad." 

Not eiactly koowing what to flay» forjl had ne?er before 
aeeo my father in Mich a sentimeotal mood, I obterved that 
a little forgetfulnesa, oiider tucb circumstances, was per^^ 
fectly natural. 

^^Of alt those Uawkwoods/' he coolinued, not noticing 
my remark, << I am the representative, a thought which may 
in aome degree excuse the pride that has been attributed to 
me. I had hoped, sir, that when — that at some future— 
diat afler my death — " 

Here bis Toice faltered, he paused, and the muscles about 
his fDOUth were drawn into involuntary twitches ; but, pre* 
sently^ recovering himsdr, he resumed, in a steady though 
8al>dued tone — 

"I had hoped, sir, that, after my death, you would be 
left as my representative, as the preserver of my name in 
the eity, which I may well call our patrimonial soil ; and 
that, as you passed along) you might be pointed out by my 
old friends and survivors, as the son of Alderman Hawk* 
irood, the banker, who had once been Lord Mayor of Lon* 
don." 

*< It is my earnest wish, I do assure you, never to com* 
1^1 any act that may render me unworthy of such a dis* 
tmctioa." 

" Then, sir," cried my father, starting up, " you will neVer 
quit the city. The Uawkwoods have been born in it, have 
thriven in it» have lived in it, have died in it, have been buHed 
io it ;'and I will never give my consent to your flying in the 
UtciOB of the dead, as well as of the living, by deserting your 
hereditary house* You know my determination ; it is unal- 
teraUe ; and I desire you will never again ei^cite find agi* 
tate me by, recurring to the subject.. How many times 
have I told you that I cannot bear discussions, or contro* 
versies, or unpleasant allusions,, or being put out of my 
usual routine in any way ! I have already many sources of 
anxiety, of unhappiness, which you do not know, which 
fOo cannot even guess. You need not add to my annoy- 
ances by making a proposition of so foolish and objection- 
able a nature. Let me bear no more of it." 

With these words he walked out of the room, hemming 



118 M« 

ID gifB firmneti to hit voice; tiid' compoikig Wa raiU 
featuf«8 into their nmnA eipresfteo of soleoMi gnmrf; 

I know tbat it if 'Considered vndotiMf aad ooliattdioBie, 
and indecoroiiS) end unbeoooiiog, md »U that eort of iimg, 
if a sen, reverding the pomtion of Brutus, pieeiMnes tesit 
in judgment upon his sire, and I am the last perscm toset 
in any eu6h uafiliai manner. Notbiitgderfjgalorjr, n(4hifl| 
that ought justty to offend paternal feelings, shall «ver en* 
anate from me ; but, on the other band, I aot do Trttoa to 
be my father's trumpeter ; nor vrill I, beesuse it iuay ki 
wrong to act Mr. Critic, consent to perlbnn the part ^ M& 
Puflf. '* Praise Undeserved is censure in disguise," a die* 
turn that nobody wtH deny, for every. body qnetM it 
'< Plain truth, dear Murray, needs no flowers of speech/' ii 
more to the point, and I may therefore state, withoot gioa* 
ifig circumlocution or intentional disrespect, that,^^ in in; 
humble opinion, my father's conduet m ibis little tUf bal 
not been particularly creditable to his Ceefingis* It is cfett 
that he cannot have a proper regard for me, and lam b]f 
no means sure that I am not a very ilK>li8ed young aiaa) 
for, if I had enjoyed a competent allowance, I irfuMild nevsr 
have exceeded it ; and, as to the endorsement of the bill) 
it was a mere inadverteoce at worstw 
' By the by, as the said bill was in my firther^s posseasiiyi 
he has doubtless cashed it, to prevent its further circulatiuBi 
Surely he does not mean to charge it to my acooont. I 
must arrange this affair with Conway« ^ ^: . - . 

What a gross mistake to eall my father a gopd-tempersd 
man, as I have often beard hkn characterised I Gbiod.teflH 
per, like the surface of a lake, while it requires a rans eofli^ 
motion of the elements to disturb its habitual serenity/ is 
rippled into dimpltog smiles with every passing : bresss* 
My father's temper is the same surface congealed into se^ 
and ^nly smooth and equable because it is impassive. 
Spite of its apparent show. of feeling and sentimentality, to 
what does his conduct amount, when fairly analysed, but 
to a profound Selfishness ! 

Twist and turn the matter as you will, to this eompto 
ion^^nmist it come at last. To nothing does he object upea 
moral principles, or, indeed, upon any principles, except to 
my rousing him out of his quietism, and disturbing his ph- 



vam mfmam» iiMfy 119 

MKCf^ >fieMRttimk«t;aiqr tbiogtfl.do not eompel bim 
Ip apftii im ejret ^ { owf go lo th» dettl my ^mn way, pro-> 
Tided it does nol inlerfere ilrtlh hiiD Mid JkM wajs^ 

Wiieace lhi» iilinki attaobnoeoi to tii9 city ? Because it 
k the spot of>oo> vNMcb Ilie Hawk«ro«40.ii«Te lived ao4 
imitwhed. Whence iiif regtfd for ibis Csmilf ? Not be* 
cause he belongs to them, tnit hacMise they beioog tobim ; 
hft»ia>ilfam:fe()ireBeetalite,iindy therefore, bU eonititueiits 
BsiiffC bemi^pificoes^ Whenco his regard forme? Not 
finoia any patenitfl yeariungsr-^^ol ffotn any pr^^>er sense of 
my gifts and attainments, but, as he frankly confessed, from 
th« mefe citeiftoistmMetbat, when he is dead and gone, I 
amtio^be.his>represeota(liife,aiid am to be pointed out upon 
*Cfaaoge^ or in the Bank Offices, as the spn of the tate AU 
derman Hawkwood* Mech oblig^ to bioEi, truly I My 
eelebrify,:! flatter oqrteif, will be autocratic, not inbcritedL 
1 MMXt m>, potato«plant, only to be vahied lor what is under* 
gimmdi The "ftua isoii ffcimu$ v**VV I leave to the 
^ iTeoth tnmsmitter of a foolish fiMre.'' With the distinct 
tioiif of my aoeealera I can well dispense, sioee I shall 
SHcbieve them for myself. 



; TtM bomdeyslMi^ciMisbing round the bottje at dipner 
paflie9i and (rf tormenting the goesta for toasts and seoti* 
mtttiy uolil conviviality is aggrairalad into^a noisy or maud* 
lin iolempefance, baa reaUy become qqite a npiisancQ. 
IWJiea. JtaKjpped away (rather a difficult mancauvre) from 
ItetopMf at Sir. Gideon Higgiits's last night,. I must have 
iiaafi half . tipsy, I snspect ; but the cool aur soon sobered 
aie,.aiidk erejoog, I found myself, I really know not how 
or iKby^aiariag up attha window of fanny H^ctqpp's resi^ 
deMO upon Tower Hill; I 

. Sngtilar^oBgh^ whenever I begin lo^caleulate the pror 
fit and loss of maivii^y my thoughis betake tbemselv^s to 
Aagnala May nard^ though I never dream of hovering about 
her abode. When I mentally perpend th^ pleasures of ma* 
trimooy^ a soul-subduiog vision^of Fanny Hactopi^ is con- 
jured up, and my fioolsteps involunjlarily take the direction 
of Tower Hill. Hulf a doz^n diflferent times, at least, after 
dining outj have I wandered to the same spot, only to gwe 



120 "1^* MDNcraD luir* 

very intently «t the iinndowis, and then retaro borne as wiw 
as I went. Augusta, I suppose, has my head, and Faosj 
has my heart— -or at all erants I hare her's. 

Upon the present occasion, just as I was turning away 
from the house, the door opeiied, and out came a mas 
whom I recognised by his sharp, vulgar Totce — for be im- 
noediately began singing one of Suett's <* Dickey Gossip" 
songs — to be no other than the detested Ned Simmoos* 
After all, then, thought I, she may not have ultimately ra- 
jected this vulgar fellow, and he may atill be% suitor for her 
band. 

It was a prov<Aing — I may say a maddening idea: for, 
on the impulse of the moment, and under the excitement 
of the Wine I bad been toping, I hastily followed faim, ami 
with a sudden blow struck him to the ground. Restored 
in one moment to my senses by the enormity and wanton^ 
ness of the outraae I had perpetrated, I took instantly to 
my heels, and, although I heard Simmoiui in quick and hot 
pursuit, I contrived to elude him, and lo reach my oarn 
house, bitterly accusing myself for my unprovoked and ud^ 
manly attack. 

What perilous things are these sudden impulses ! lo- 
stantaneous as mine had been, I had yet time to reflect that 
it was dark, that there was no watchman* near; in short, 
that 1 could gratify my revengeful, or rather my jeakwsi 
feeling with secrecy and impunity ; these being ilie fiist 
words, I believe, which the devil always whisper^ into oor 
ear when he would surprise us into some unpremeditated 
crime. No wonder that the night is the chosen season for 
lawless deeds, and that a state of nature is a state of war; 
for publicity and police are our chief security, not only 
against others, but against ourselves. In the phrenzy A 
the moment I might have killed Ned Simmons ; bad a 
sword been in my hand, ( verily believe that I should have 
done so, and this too without malice prepense. 

After allj as he escaped without any serious injury, I an 
not sorry that I knocked the fellow down. There will be 
a secret satisfaction in reflecting upon- it, when I see tbt 
jackanapes cracking, and crowing, and swaggering in Ml 
tisual style. And yet I know not why I shouki hate the fel^ 
low, as 1 have no intention whatever of proposing to Fanny* 
I fear ray character must be rather selfish. 



mr imiiEMii msm 191 



. .i •: -'. •»■' . : ■r-' :-:-i Ji. '. r . •: : / --n ••.l 



t • ■• • 



GH AFTER X. 

t 

Unmasonable as was my fatbePs exactioii'of a promise 
(hat t wouH not engage a house at the west enti of the 
tbwfi, I shall adhere to it with a scrupnlous fidelity ; but, 
a^ft this ple^g^ does not extend to the country; T have hired 
a pretty little box tn Epsom j a fact,. x)f'whi<*h ! m^n to 
confihe the kn6wledge,as much' as possible; to a fe^Vt>f my 
(^special ^I'onies and intimates. Being ready-furnished, th^ 
i&ftiiediatc butla)^ will not be considerable/ though ev^en a 
amaH stock of choice wines dannot be laid irf, I find, wrth- 
dul a consfderable expenditure. There must be both quan- 
tity and quality where Conway and Tom Neville are in the 
bibit of dining ; and even Hammond, the aHist; glad as he 
it of a gfood dinner upon' arty temis', will smack his lips, 
bold dp his glass to theTrght; and assume ti grave look of 
epicUi'ean de(%eraiion in giving judgement tipon 'a bottle of 
diampagiiie, though I sti^pect.the rogue' does not taste one 
C^nener thah dnce of twice a year. 
- At this retreiat we have had two pr three such jolly par- 
ttes thatrl have lialf fegretted my quffrrel with Welford, 
#ho8etoeal and sbcial powers, when he shakes off his sour 
misanthropy j' or when he is propitiated f>y some act o^ ho- 
fiiage to^ his feur- footed friend, Tycfto, iariake^-him the very 
Meand aotf I of a symposium. ' ' 

'Howfever, W€f have had a KteraHy Jftiif substitute In the 
person of a Mademoiselle De Montmorency, with whom 
Cditlivay lias formed some sort of Itcri^on, and whom his has 
driven ^ownih' my phaBttm to cRne at the cottage, where 
she has 801^ Mke a nightingale, or rather Kke a goldfinch, 
for I hav^ had to take so many tickets fof her concert^ in 
fettirn, that my notes have beeti as freely disbursed as her 
own. ' ■ --'^ 

If I will get up a dejeuner h la fourchette^ with plenty 
of champagne, lit the time of the Epsoth races, Conway 
flatters n^e with the hope that he may prevail upon Lady 
Fludyer; aiid even the' DiichesS of rullborough and her 

TOL. 1. 11 



in 

Bieeei who, be mjn, is half io knre with me, to look ib (or 
an hoar or lo. Najr, he eTen talks of Brammel ! Thii 
wauU be gk>riotts; fa)ei,!rii^dfk totne totnjr father's ean, 
wouM it not entail upon me the oaly parernal property o( 
which I with the entail :to be.ciit-iitr — a long-winded and 
long*vitaged lecture ? 

, Io ihe/meauwbile C^way hpa iptroduccJ me to aaotlMr 
of the mim/eroua rnyimidona ky whom he is aurroundedr-^ 
pleasant, HenllenifLiiljr. JqIIow, whose imperturbable good 
temper and rovarioble bad. iortmie have so woo upoii ma 
|hat he threatens to rival, if not to cscUps^ Tom -N evilk ia 
tjfiji geod graces. His name is Baldwin ; but, from birsia« 
gujar resemUaoce. .to Amos ilarmer, one xkt my UiibB^t 
clerks, I ha ve, bestowed tm^t aj^p«^llat ion upon him -as a so- 
briquet, and he recognises U as pomplaceotly |m if ..botkifai 
baptismal and patroajrm^ terma had been inberiled fr^qia 
long line of ancestpa. 

. uis: short aiid by no^meaiis unc^omqEipa J^stor j I faavs 
learnt from his own lips« Having ^obtained a eooinuspioB 
in a, costly reg^ot,of dragoons, 4hroi:^ the iotereat of a 
teUtive Who coold c9^9MKia|)d ,two lK)rqugl)8^ be wnatOFaed 
aflrift4o make the. remai,aaef of his fortune in any way.ha 
could. In striving to mainiaia: himself upon e level wMi 
his brother'ofllcers, b^.s9ao> becanne so deeply ^vqI v^t ^a( 
he was obliged to sell his commissiop. In the hope of le* 
trieying his shattered jG^ULfices be tqpk to gpiipiog, isad, ia 
pursuing a constaot run of ill^liick, be was not only 'spead- 
ilj ruined, but acquic^ such an incurable propeoaily feir 
haunting the hazard-table, and playii>g at ptl^ gam^a af 
chance, that bia rit^<|a€^,reatnf^t, a^ ^treqi^ous e^^erti^BS 
to shake oS this incuoo^ have beoa utterly unavaiUog. i : ■.■ 

All ibis, as I said b^ore, is. nothing unusual ; Ihe siiupi<) 
iar part of his character consists, la the.frankness witb whash 
he confesses bis faults and follies, the modesty and iboQUh 
^est sincerity wilb w^icb be regrets his inability tov|$jrt 
tJb^ fascination of play, a/id .the? gentlepianly, bpnossUa 
bearing which he contrives to preserve in the midst of all 
||ia reverses. • 

I'hough be may be termed pne of Conway's OMny satel- 
i|ies, Baldwin mp?es in a very clifferent orbit from the luck- 
less l^iatt, ^ofp Nevil^; nor has 'he aitogetfaeE ioat 



ISS 

respect, whtcb, to « eaiato ^tmit, vamtk%% >hil Upe^ietpmet 
<tf others^ H« neTer gi«€8 oBTeftoe; aurf-be wiil^nol tamelj^ 
leeeive an nwolt; To tto iitler ^ iodeixi,r hb W ttot ' nwidi 
cptpwed, as hk » kn^wn lo be'« man of eaurage^ aml^il 
good aboU Wbetberllie eaa aaafafitaki ^fais cftiinictisr, sadt 
as it iSj remam to be seen. ^ Abeady lus breama to tba 
boffonmg stage, wbieh^ if» tb6B» wriNippy easesiJnvaiM^ 
marks the program of degradatim ; but so 4iea«ld]r is bo 
asbamed of tbe procem, that bis eyas and Us looks appaal 
to jroo for asmaH kmn long haforef be tao sinnmoa courage 
to mA^ tbe hamibating request ^ his toogiDe; If driaeo 
to the eatreanly of speeohi his Uoshas, iKs^'stamomringf 
a»d bis eptifuwofi etince the mental «bstres8 that aocotnpa^ 
nias the ^operation, so that you eau neither graar nor refuse 
the poor ^Ibw's request witboot participiting in Us pain« 
iA embarrassment. 

As a matter of mere cofiosity, and asastmiy of eharaeteTj 
for I, myself, thank God ! never had the smallest dispom^^ 
tion for gambtUig, I have twice accompanied Hsrmer^ as I 
calfbtm, to Ddyley^s'gamiog*bottse:in' Bury Street, wbe» 
the very Mght of hii agonised sbspensof tiie perspiration 
oeztng from his forehead, and Ibe^ eoevokivf' iwitcfaings of 
the mnseles of his fioe, confirmed mp rasobitioo to avoid 
the fearful vice to which hemest ineiritaUy faM a victim^ 

On both oocasfonsl lent the poor Altoar a few pounds 
to try bisfortoac: bis asnal, bis tnvaviable ilMiiek puraoed 
Itim, and the misery of bta look alteated the troth of .the 
atermeiit when he declared that bis iauBMiateiiiefaility. to 
repay me aggravated a thoasaod«>fo)dotHe wiritchedtiess ol 
being thos relentlessly perascuted byitha blind goddessv 
His .gmtKode is unbounded, and be refuses any further 
leans tilt he can repay me what I have already advanced. 
Hi have any insight into human character, and my peoe- 
IfirHon seldom fails me, this infatoaledbut honest^hearted 
fcdiow, when he can no longer resist the assaaits of adverse 
fate, wiU (all, like Csssar, bmvely, honorably, and deco* 
rously. 

Excepting the festivities consequent upon the marriage 
of the Prince of Wales, little has occurred during the pre- 
sent year to relieve the deepening gloom of public affairs, 
and^ as if Uiese real evils were not sufficient^ Brothers, the 



1S4 «■■' MMMWDKMf. 

• 

CfM^'prophel^ hatliOTn Mttuig iImi people with deowieia- 
tioDs and vaticioitioM thia thrtateo to drive half the old 
women of bo^ sezee oat of Aeir wits. Strange ! that hk 
propheciea aa to theapptoadhing day of judgraent^Aboald 
terrify the old; with wbocD ikis world must aoon endji^the 
cdanroon courie of fkatufe, mueh more than the youog, 
whose term of life \s oAly* just oommftnciog* But so has it 
ever been. Those «tfhp are neafest the expiration of tlwr 
lease, are the most apprehensive of its curtailment. 

Too dignified to exhibit miagiviags of any sort, my father 
betrays it by his irritation when any allusion is made to thb 
sabje^:and woald fatn coneeal his C^rs beneath an aogrjr 
eootempt. ' More frahk^ if not more gapieot, my motber 
avows her trtbulatton.of ^rity^rspioving my ridbuteofihe 
half-witted. soer, by wonders al: my impiety, by quetatiooi 
from Scripture as to the ursine fate of. proptiet-nidcktn,. 
as well as byJherowo reoolJection of super nataral maoh 
feslations. 

^^Oh, my dear Mark !" she exclaimed, shaking her head 
as tremulously as If she wore her diamond tiara, *' we five 
in wonderful times-^wonderful L>aad those who have tees 
the king >aBd qneen of France, and all the glories, of tbii 
conrt come to an end| need not be snr prised if the ;wbolr 
world wer6 to. f<dlow their example. Have not^ the vtff 
nobility been bebeaded?^ But. the youtig are ever so* head- 
strong, and so hard of beliel! For my:own part, I heve 
no^particular reason to fear Ihe end of the world, even if it 
were to come at Christmas, as Mr. Brothers seems to feat; 
but 1 oertaiinly had intended. to give a grand ball at Be^- 
dington in tbi springs and Bundle. and Bridge had promis* 
ed to render my tiara slilt more miagnificent by new aettiog 
it, without any additional, diamonds, which I confess I 
was rather looking forward to, not on my own aocouot, 
but for your sake and poor.Edith's, for I am always think- 
ing of my dear children; Il*s very shocking, but we must 
all submit to our iate^4--all. Heigho !'' 



J I 



'VWX llOMttD Mllf. • 185 



♦ • 



CHAPTER XI; 

; ' - 1796^ COMTJSPID. . -' •, 

What a singular adventure ! The present^ Lord Mayor, 
beit^g ad old friend' oiF bur fdit)ily,li&dgiVenTOe a ticket for 
any oompafiioii ^hotti I' hiight tii^bh to' fafc^ to the grand 
tiau at the Mansion House, lind, as Conway itlWajs talks, of 
the city.as if it' Were a Terra Incognita, and its inhabitants 
a sort of aboriginal savages, nomewbat resemblihg Pidcock's 
ooran-outang at Exeter Change, he gladly acceded to my 
proposition that he should' acCorhpainy me. and judge of th^ 
barbarians with his own eyes. Being myself engaged at the 
theatre, to se^ Cumberland's corriedy of the Jew, it was ar- 
ranged that I should oall for blm at Doyley's^n' Bury Street^ 
where he ba$ been passing several evenings, following up a 
ran of good luck at Rouge et Noir. 

Thither I accordingly betook myself abbut ten o'clock, 
and was watching the progresfs of tber game, which was now 
becoming rather unfavorable to Conway, wh^n the door 
opened, and Baldwin hurried In with a ffushed and agitata 
^ face. No sooner, bow^rer,' did he perceive me than, 
ciaaping his hands passionately together with a hoarse ex- 
clamation of "Gracious Heaven 1 Hawkwood here !'' he 
roshed out of the room with every mark of perturbation and 
alarm. 

, Knowing his sensitive temperament, and 'taking it for 
granted that ' his agitation proceeded from his not having 
yet repaid me the sums hie had borrowed, I ran after him, 
exclaiming as I seized him by the arm r-^ 

♦* Why, Amos,:my hearty ! have you seen a gho3t, or a 
scarecrow, thatyoii bolt out of the course tike a frightened 
filly?' SureTy you could not imagine I was going to dun 
you. Not 1, my good fellow ! Friends must give and 
take, and settle old scores when they make a lucky hit. 
Perhaps you may do so to-day, who knows? If I mistake 
not, I have li flimsy in my pocket. Which is much at your 
service, if you choose to try your luck once more at fl<m- 
Wfe, OF Rouge et Noir.** ' 



]S6 . xup^ if(H!wriy> ,HM». 



. With these words I placed a note in his bands, which be 
unfolded as fast as his trembling fingers would allow him, 
while the color left: his ch^e^s, and the tears glistened io 
his eyes. 

" Tweirty pounds !" he hpaweljr exclaioied ; " twenty 
pounds from you I O God ! this is too much — I cannot, 
cannot bear ii!*' 

For a few jnomeqts lie stood irresolute, evidently torn bj 
•conflicting emotions, ,^hea he suddenly grasped my arn, 
stanmiering :^ui_i^^n .agitated wHisper, <' Swear thai jos 
winv|orgTve^ me, and 1 will confess all, c^tore all ; oolj 
swearTlnU you will forgive mp-", 

Perceivm^ thai he was harcflj conscious, of what^ lie ut- 
tered, I led hioi info a private rooip, pointed to a chair, io^ 
to which he sank, placed myself beside him, and assured 
bim of my perfect forgiveness, wlmlever might be his ofieoce. 
After two or three vain efforts to sj^eak, a gush of tea^ 
came to his relief, and, haviog again obtained from me a 
solemn pledge of forgiveness^ ^iie thus proceeded to make 
his confession, though bis. nianner was still incoherent and 
agitated. 

'' Villain, villain thai I , am ! but I must have been mad 
at the moment*T'I am.mad novbijdriven to insanity by. mj 
cursed passion for pla^. O, Mr. Hawkwood ! I have ic^ 
beti your father to 9. large amount, and have tbiis infamous^, 
ly defrauded you-^ — my frie^nd, my benefactor 1 Templed 
by your repeated declarations pf my singular resemblance 
to your father's'clerk, I conceived a diabolical scheme for 
cobbing the, bank.> By Jooking attentively •* through the 
glass door, I soon recognized my likeness, Mr. Harmer: .1 
dressed myself exactly lika him^ became his ffic-simile. 
Scoundrel as I am, I decoyed him from the hpuse by a forg- 
ed letter, stating that his brother had Been seized with a fit, 
and was Jying at a chemist's in Ald^ale. In the dusk of 
evening, just before the candles wereTighled, I walked bold- 
ly into the banking-house, took my seat at Hntmer^s de$k, 
watched my opportuni4y, purloined two packets of bank- 
notes, pretended to be passing to the back counting-house, 
made my way to the door, escaped without suspicion, threw 
riiyself jnio a hackney-coach, and drove to my (bdgingi, 
where, on opening the packets, 1 found myself the posses- 
sor of bank-notes to the amount of ten thousand pounds." 




7BJB l(jl^^£T|S9 ¥^« 127 

.../f Ten thoimnd poondf I" Iej>iouMei)> it^ftjng fram ooy 
^bair wUh.a mingled feeling of indigii^tioii 9{).d amazeineni 
al th&niagnitu4a,of the sum. 

" There they, are — there they are/' faUered the wretched 
man: !' count theni-^not oneisoii^sii^g;^ and remember 
that you sv^pre to forgive me on my maHiog full restitu- 
tion.'* . 

. Nqt feeling particularly propo jlo lak^ the wpcd of suchi i 
self7Coi|victed.r.ogqfb I> <>ajrefully courited them twice ov^rj 
and^ hsviogascef tailed that noising had been 6ufotraci<$d| 
I rnqyired, what had. been bifl object in briitgiog Uiem to 
Poylej's., ...,.•: 

** It was my intention," replied Bald jwrio, " to have staked 
the wholoi or as much as the bank w.ould allows on the ha<? 
s^krd of thedicq, t^ping.that (or once 1 might make a l^rge 
add lucky hit, in which case I should have sent back the 
ten thousand to the banking-bpofse, under a blank corer, 
before th^ bfi^iness^houirjnTtl:^ mprolng^ 

To trust the assertiocii? of an incurable gambler is some- 
what perilous, but tbf^ man's look and manner bore such aa 
unequivocal in^priess of sincerity^ that I verily believed he 
would have followed up Ims good intentipiis* 
, " AjuI, if ^o^lune had «tiH. conl'^nu^d unp^pitious^ and 
ypii, had lost thQ whole?" . ., 

.. <' The whole amount I could no^ have lost, for I hadde* 
termined to reserve two' hundred pounds, with which, after 
Qxcbangii^ the notes for gold, Tshpuld have immediately 
started for Am^nc^'. Most thankful am I that jour unex- 
pected appearan^ejias frustrated this ba^, this. most nefa- 
rious design. Had you dunked me for my debt, had yqu: 
^pdkep harshly, I should have quitted the house without 
mak ii)g a ^confession ; but your kindnessjyour generosity 
overcame me, and I felt thatlcooid not wrong my friend, 
my. benefactpr. Dishonest, unprincipled, iniquitous^ as I 
must now appear in your eyes as I do ifi my own^ inched*' 
indeed Mr. Hawkwpod^ I liave never perpetrated a baseact, 
except iij this sin^e instance^ wheu I repeat tliQ devil inust* 
have set nue pn,". 

. *f Perhaps, Harmer (Balcyvin, I mean; no more playing/ 
ajl Dicknaraes; the J9kQ has led to too serious a result) per-- 



I 



126 tKB MOflCni^ HAH. 

bapvyoQf guardiab angel has interpoa^ to d^Mtthe Iraipt- 
er^ and to save you from perdition. You might bare tir- 
minated this desperate adventure at tlie gallowfi^ ; let yovr 
narrow escape serve as a warning, and induce yon, by one 
manly struggle of your better nature, to break through tkn 
enslaving, infernal habit, «nd become a new fima.^ 

*< Heaven knows that I desire it«with my whole soul!, tf 
I eoutd only raise the funds for conveying nhe to America, 
the spell might be broken: I would bind myself by a so- 
lemn oath never again to touch cards or dice, and I migh^ 
perhaps, by my future life, make some atonement to soeietj 
for my past follies and misdeeds. But qo, no; I am a 
doomed man — a ruiiied, disgraced, irreclaimable — ^" Pre* 
vented by his agitation from completing the sentence, he 
gave a loud sob, covered his fece with bis haiuls, and w^pt 
Tike a child. 

Affected by his deelp distress, delighted at the safe po9« 
session of the ten thousand pounds, not for their intrittsie 
value only, but because their recovery, accidental asit wai, 
would afford me a triumph over my father, who has always 
piqued himself on the Caution and good management of fatf 
business ; and, really feeling that an act of generosity at this 
critical moment might save a deluded fellow^creature from 
ignominy and despair, I drew two nptes of a hundred pound! 
each from one of the paree}s, and thus addressed my tremb* 
ring and weeping companion. 

*^ Look ye, Baldwin ! If you had lost what you purfoio* 
ed in a moment of madness, it was your intention to reserve 
bank-notes for two hundred pounds, to have changed them 
for gold, to have fled to America, and to bind yourself by a 
solemn oath against M future gambling. If I give yoo 
that sum, are you still willing to carry both those intentions 
into immediate effect ?*' 

"O, Mr. Hawk wood ! most thankfully, most gratefully 
will I bind myself, body and soUl, to their performance.^' 

'*Itis a bargain, then," I eiclaimed, holding out my 
handi virhicb he covered with tears add kisses; ^ I will get 
you guineas from the croupier in the next room, and, if 
you will fdllow my advice, youswill start for Liverpool to* 
nighti as I doubt not that a hue and cry has already been 



raifit4 by tb« Ufiliii)g?hoiife^ aod ibe moroing pap^s wit) 
l^obcibl; coojiain a full dese^plion if>( your person^ with a 
reward for your uppreben^ioaw'' : 

I gave him the gold in rouleaus, when the poor fellow, 
after a^ few incoherent expressions of gratitude, rushed 
from the house, as if reselveid not Iq lose a single moment 
in inakipg Jh& esc»p9> aii4 hastening the elecutton of hi* 
d«^ble vow^ 

On returning to the gaming<-room I found that Conway: 
b^d^one home a heavy loser,< leaving word that he had al- 
lured his iiUeotion of visiting the MaAsion House ; and as. 
^myself, 'after tim somewhat exeiting scene, felt little dis^: 
position either for. danciiig or sleeping^ I have devoted a 
portion of the night to this record of my adventurer 
\ There is a considerable pleasure, I find, in doing mag« 
9lininious thinjp^ and I am well pleased to think thai the 
i^overy of thflnhost important sufni» entirely attributable 
to my kindness and liberality, by which Baldwin was melt- 
^ into compunction, and even moved to a voluntary sur- 
render of his plunder. But, after all, the fellow's robbery 
of the bank was a deuced rascally, as well as a most un- 
grateful, act> for X should have been the eventual sufferer, 
^Bdr I begin to think tliat a single hundred would have been 
eoQUgh to take him to America, and a great deal more than 
b^. deserved. To be ^iire I wa« in some degree the sug- 
gester of the roguery by mentioning his striking resemblance 
Ip ^oiQs Harmer ; and his spontaneous return of the bank* 
Doiea» althoggh he was betrayed into it by the surprise and 
agitation of the moment, fairly entitles him to some sort of 
salvage. 

Two hundred pounds upon ten thousand is no very heavy, 
per centage, and even my father, I suspect, v(ri|| admit that 
this, my coup d'^sai in banking affatirs, is no unprQtni3iog 
augury of my future achievements^ should I ever set up for 
a man of business. My worthy sire must excuse my 
erQwing a little 4o-morrpw mornings .Will he ever venture 
IP twit me again for the. paltry debts he has paid, when 1 
am making good. the losses of the banking-houde, owing to: 
tbeii^ own culpable/ negligence., at the r^te of ten thousand ^ 
poiihds at a. time ? For once and away I vill enact the 
mentor^ and :da4 shall piorform the character of the prpdi- 



gal. Often at be ins aecMed me or cMelaeftneis aiid njli* 
management, wmj 1 not now ex^tetm, ** Mutate nofnioe iA \^ 
U fabula narratur ?" 1 long for lo-aK>rrow I J I 

i 



Alifaougli my slombera had been short end broken, an^ 
my dreanfii made hideout by vitione of ihievet and hinMf- 
breakers, owing, probably, to the precious pile of baak* 
notes which 1 had deposited beneath my pillow, I present- 
ed myself at the breakfast-table in good time, anxioai is 
discover what effect had been produced upon my father kf 
the alarming and heavy kisn be had sustained. A very 
slight observation convinced me that it had not yetbeea 
imparted to him, jits manner retaining all its usual caM 
and grave austerity. He talked of Crossfield's committal 
to the Tmver, scolding the Foxite journals /or terming Ml 
dangerous conspiracy a popgun plot, as vml as for their 
unfeeling ridicule of the unfortunate stadtholJdr, becaoss 
he fell asleep at the theatre during the performance of 
Macbeth, and while Mrs. Siddons was on the stdge. S6 
gracious was his mood, that he even condescended to eY« 
press a hope that Brothers, the crazy prophet, who ha4 
t>een placed in confinement, would be> treated with proper 
kindness : and, although he rarely lost his time in dabblifi); 
with books, he acquiesced in my mother's opinion that there 
were some ve^y pleasing papers in Mr. Prfftf-s GleaningSi 
from which Edith had iftterly been reading extracts, wli^ 
he wanted to be loHed into his evening nap, an eflRsct whieb 
they never failed to produce. ^ 

When, however, my mother and sister had withdrawn, a 
cloud began to lower over his countenance, and, turning to 
me with that look and voice of forced calmness which io- 
variably denoted his displeasure, he said :<y- 

** So, sir ! your father's friend, although he is Lord Mayor 
of London, and although he sent you an extra ticket for 
his ball, is not, I presume, worthy the notice, or even tbtf 
common civilities of a man of your high fiishton. You were 
not at the Mansion House last night ; you did not cooie 
home until a very late hour. May 1 venture to inquire 
what worthier engagement prevented your a^^companying 
your fiither to visit the Lord Mayor of Loodon V* 



/ 



TBS HOnXTW MAlf* 131 

.^^t ean Mmre yoa, air, ib^l.I iiad fMHy jnlemled paying 
R>yreftpecl8«b0th to yourseK undlohisJordsbipyaaif.^aeaat 
to have taken with me a gentleman of distinction, a member 
^ Paf (lament, had I not been .prevenledpi>]r a eircttmslance, 
i^bicb, \ am bappjr to jay, has enabled me to render a i»osl 
paporlam serviee to the baf>liing»house.^ 

^'AserYice to the baaking-h^iwe," foeered my father, 
'^und from you! EtcelleAtr^ 

«< Yoq y^uriieir 4haU be tbe judge of its importance; 
Hayo you been appcised of «|i^y de&piency in the balance 
last DJgtit or this morning ?*«-^>f, any robbery appearing to 
have been comoiitted by cuie of yoor clerks V 

** N%^ir ;' nor would a«y one dare to conceal such a feet 
from me, had it actoaliy occurred/' 

" Forhaps I am beiler informed upon this sabject than 
jr0u f eefn to think posatbiew Alteiitsofi: to the business I 
bave never professed, your own leatrictions upoa my taking 
tttiv ^biiroia its management, and my aversion to the sttt>- 
ordi»9l£ dutiesi.of a clerk, havii^f naturally ttirned my at* 
tention to other, purs^ils^^ (This was both a hint and an 
oibeuseiiwhiefa I tbougbt H a^ood opporiuriity for advance 
ing.) ^< But lookers our ^cwEietimes se(9 the -most of the 
gamoi and it . is my painful lask^ to inlbf m you tha.t you were 
robbed last night of bMk-ftotea to thdlitiKitudt of ti^thou-* 
BMid pounds^ — ay, sir^ y<m may wetl st^rt^r-robbed, Irepeat, 
of bank-notes to the imtount of tex^ thousand ipounds." 

*^ Utterly impossible r' ejaculated my fatheri^ reddenings 
hpwever, to the tips of baa^ powdered ears at the tery 
Ufaoi^bjl of such an outrage^ ; ; 

^Itis perfectly true, nevertheless. I tofd you that I 
bad a paijRfuii task to perforin : I have mow a pot less plea- * 
saot dutf U) dtscharge* Most deligbted am I to tell jroa 
that I have ire^vered |he whole sum thus- purioioed. Here 
are the identical bank-notes.^' 

So saying I: deliberately spmd theip.e^ upon tbe ta« 
ble, briefly stating the extraordinary aen^idaiit by. which I 
bad recovered theii)} and: assuming^.perbaps^ a Utile more 
niant in the iransa^on th^n was fairly my due. 

Utterly dumbfoandi^d^my father stared altermately at 
fnesmd at the note^ as if doubting. Jfae evidence of his 
senses^ ilippmeqtary bpwildernoent of which I took ad vanr 



132 'tut llONl!yei» HAM. 



tage to retort upon him sbtne of th< (Stipi^fit tniiiiu 
with which I had been schooled in the lafst lecture he MM 1^ 
me. w ft 

«Thl» rta sad business 1*^ 1 glutely exclaimed ; '<dA 

credit of a banking-house is the most fragile thing tijf'iix^ 

istence, destroyable by a single whisper, and our depesHoM 

will hardly trust their money to parties who suffer it to be 

purloined in the very face of day, and to such a fearfalcit* 

tent. AHow me, sir, moreover, to pcrint out to you that 

there must he a still more dangerous collision ortouitpsil^ 

cy among the clerks, otherwise this large defiihbation woMi 

not have been so long concealed from you." '^^ 

Recalled to his recollection hj this remark, my (altier 

started up, rang the bell, and'desired Mr. Poole to'beii^ 

to him. Obsequiously l>owing his powdered head as' he 

entered the room', and not presuming to takeil cliair, Hil 

snug man of blisihess pre^nrly stood before us. ^ 

*' Was the balance all right last tlight and this morning?^ 

asked my father, in a voice rendered tremulous by anxiety 

'" Perfectly right, sir!" bowed Mr. Poole. - ' •'*' 

- ^< And the tellers and checqtiers aU agrc^ ?" T^e |M^ 

Viousailswer and bow were repeo ted. * ot 

**Wh6 counted over Ihe' bank-notes this morning?**' "1 

•< I did, and Mr. Davis fcheched me.'^ >^^^ 

"And you found n<> deficiency?**- ; • ^« 

'*Ndne whatever^ sir/' (a third h&w.) • » • .' 

^^This is most mysterious — ihere ts some foul ptay. 

whitb must be sifted to the bottom,'' said tny father, wH 

again hastily pulled the bell, aafd desired Mr. Hahner ^ 

be sent up, « - 

^ Where is the letter," he inquired of the clerk,^" wliidl 

Jou received last ni^t, informing yoiH that your brother 
ad been suddenly seised with a fit; and was lying ati 
chemist's in Aldgate?" • *« 

A pause en^ed, after which Hsfrtiier exclaiihed in a tobi 
of utter amatement, . 'r 

"Letter, sir ! I never received any letter lastiitght-^ 
never went to Aldgate— I never left the house. My bH^ 
Iher is in perfecit health, and living at Chichester." ' ' 

Another patise, during which We all gazed «l each^iiefr 
with looks of irncreasing embarrassment and wonder; ' ^^ 



TftA uom.wmO' mm* 139 



« 



ReeoUeet yoiirielf, sir/' criec) mjr father, steriily, " your 
life majr be in peril. 1 will have iio thuffltDg, no pretari^ 
cation. Look at these bank-notes. Do you recoUect en-* 
ieriog them in your duplicate book, or leaving them upon 
year desk last night ?" 

'< I did not make up a single parcel of notes last night. 
I reckoned and tied up the gold and sihrer.'' 

*' Mr. Poole," continued my father, ^* do these notes ap- 
pear to have ever passed through oi^ books ; are any of 
ottrmarks or numbers upon them V' 

After having deliberately tviped his spectacles, Mr. Poole 
took the notes ona by one, examined them minutely, held 
tbeoA dp to the light, ami then exclaimed with a counte- 
nance of considerable dismay :-^ 

** These are no real Abraham Newlands i there is no wa* 
lermark to the paper. They are, every one of them, for« 
geries ! cfownright, rank forgeries !" 

** PalpaUy !" said my father^ after having inspected two 
or three of them. '' I .should have seen H at once had I 
looked at them carefully. And did you actually give two 
h^dred pounds for this bundle of waste paper, palmed 
ofTupon you with such a cock-ond-a-bull story for genuine 
bank-notes ? Truly ,^ sir, you have been precioosiy bub- 
bled ^ Itidicrously awindled^ and out-wttted ; but I cannot 
say that I am in the least surprised, not in the least." 

The aneeriiig took that accompanied these words, spoken 
too in^ tbe presence of Mr. Poole and the derk, was truly 
mortifying-; but I was so humbled, stong,' overwhelmed, 
by thie ridicnious figure I cut, and the consciousness of my 
having been made amost egregious dape, that I was utter^ 
\f fiiiable to atter a single word. 

** Well, sir, are yon still of opinion that lookers-on see 
the most of the game f asked my father when we were 
again alone. '* Never did I hear of a gutl more thoroughly, 
more absurdly cozened and bamboozled. But they who 
frequent the haunts of blackiegs and sharpers must expect 
to be swindled, and most richly do they deserve it. Un- 
derstand, sir, that this two hundred pounds is yobr own 
loss ; not one shilling of it do you get back from me." 

And then came a lecture. Oh! such a lecture! I 
might have defended myself, but I had not spirits to make 

VOL. I. 12 



IS4 nw Momnm mm. 

iIm ftHefifH ; nor hmrt I pftlkaee to record the sweaKic 
taimliDg repiiflMiild to wbieh I was doomed to iistee 
thirty or forty mortal miautes. 



No; I caonot get over Ibe humiliiitidn of iiariiig been 
made sucb a contemptible gudgeon. Tbe more I reflecl 
upoB the transaction, the more galling is it to my feelings. 
To the loss of Ibe money I could reconcile nvyself, but lo 
be made a victim and a laughing-stock, tn have beea lo 
completely pigeoned and outwitted from first to last, is real* 
ly intolerable* 

Nor is the actual loss, in the present dilapidated state of 
my finances, by any means inconsiderable. First, there n 
the previous debt which the knave owed me ; tbea the 
£200 which I have been obliged to refund to the croupier; 
and lastly, the twenty pound note, which, in the very whirl- 
wind of bis passion and remorse, in the midst of his tears, 
his blushes, his stammerings, and his agitation, he took 
special care to secrete and secure, probably when be clasp* 
ed his hands together and bowed down his head in an ap- 
parent agony of shame. 

One thing, and one only, miiy be urged in my defence : 
a more consummate, a more exquisite piece of acting has 
never, perhaps, been exhibited t The fellow would have 
Dfiade a fortune on the stage. But my father knows do- 
thing of all this ; unaware of the circumstances thai exien* 
iiate my dupery, he does not conceal his contemptuous ei- 
timate of my tal^its, an erroneous impression which I fiod 
it difficult to bear, and impossible to remove. 

Humiliating enough was it to endure the quiet derisive 
smile with which Ck>nway gazed at me through bis slowly 
uplifted eye-glass, and, after drawKng out, '' Why, Mark, 
my boy ! you are done — regularly done — dofie as brown as 
a toast" — offered to bet me an even hundred that I sboaU 
not catch the culprit in the next three months. 

Tom Neville condoles with me, and calls Baldwin an at; 
grateful villain, and even offered, if I would pay tbeefr 
penses, to run down to Liverpool to arrest him^ in case h0 
should attempt to embark for America from that port; bat 
I tiannot help suspecting at times that be laughs at me ia 



18» 

bifl sleere, and covertly mijoy e ^ Cen wt y 'a emmne Mit whm 
lie terois me the knowing banker^ who gave real Abmbaiii 
Newiands for forged ones, and deolaren that fialdivni^ after 
ail, was literally a man of ten thousand. 

It must be confessed that I have been most scandakyody 
deceived by this *< honest-ihearted lelbw, who was to fall) 
iike Csesar, bravely, honorably, add deeorDosly;" but there 
18 consolation in reflecting that I am twerrty-five years old^ 
tod that this is the very ^rst time that I have been wrong 
in oiy judgment, or have ever suffered myself to be over- 
reach^. 

That I should have been betrayed in this instance by my 
own generosity of heart and a misplaced confidence ia lew 
ezeosafole, for, although Baldwin's account of his early his- 
tory turns out to have been perfectly correct, I ought to 
have known mankind better than to have been gulled by 
appearances and professions, however plausible. I thought 
myself tolerably keen and cauti ms, but '^ Aliquando bo- 
urnuJ" Psha I the proverb's somewhat musty. 



CHAPTER XII. 

1797—1798. 

I SEE, by the True Briton newspaper, that Matthew 
{Hnmmer, Enquire, (! ! !) has been taking the lead at a 
Borough Meeting, for procuring the abolition of the Slave 
Trade, when he made ^* a brilliant and impressive speech," 
which is reported at considerable length. '< A fellow-feel- 
ing makes us wondrous kind." I suppose Matt recollects 
his own slavery, when he was my fag at (he Chart4!t>^ House^ 
and wishes to eionerate his sable brethren from similar in* 
dictions. 

What falsehood, as well as hypocrisy, in stigmatizing the 
Slave Trade as antMshristian, when it is notoriously prae- 
tked by every christian nation in Europe ! Besides, if there 
bad been any truth in the charge, it would have been con- 
demned, of coarse, by our Church, which has rarely lifted 
up a finger^ or wagged a tongue against ft. Our Liverpool 



186 TBC MOUKTCD UUi. 

Md Brittol iiMffobaQlti meii of great wealth, and, conse- 
auently, of the highest respectaUiity, who have embarked 
their oapitala in it, under the direct sanction of the legish- 
ture, would be exposed to very ^rious loss were it to be 
sboUihed.' But what care those innovators, these pfaarisai- 
oai pretenders to superior humanity, for the sufferings of 
gentlemen, or for vested rights? Being mostly pauper 
philanthropists, who have nothing to lose themselves, they 
(feel not for the losses of others. If there be any good 
sense, fair play, or common honesty, left in Old England, 
this idle clamor will pass away unheeded, like Major Carl- 
Wright's annual motion for reform, or the equally absurd 
sessional propositions for emancipating, as it is called, the 
Catholics, and other dissenters. If these gentry want 
equality of civil rights, why cannot they conform to thees* 
tabltshed Church ? Truth is no such great price to pay for 
the boon they solicit. 

Plummer's, however, was really a good speech ; an ex- 
cellent one, considering the badness of his cause. Who 
wrote it for him, I wonder ? That he composed so much 
good sense himself I neverean believe, when I recollect 
how he used to hammer and boggle, even at his Latin non- 
sense verses. And yet I have been told, on authority less 
questionable than his own assertion, when i met the quix 
upon Tower Hill, that he has given a wonderful impulse 
and expansion to the business, is unquestionably making a 
rapid fortune, and is so much looked up to in the trade diat 
he was selected to head a deputation appointed to wait up* 
on Mr* Pi(t» on the subject of a proposed reduction in the 
tobacco duties. ITus seems almost incredible. How Mr. 
Pitt must have stared at his quizzical cut, bis smug, powder- 
Jess head, and his little brass buckles ! 

The vulgarian ! It is well that he has made no further 
attempts to intrude himself upon my notice, for, hating him 
with a more rooted aversion since I have learnt his succes- 
ses, I cannot listen with common patience to the blockheads 
who '< wonder with a foolish face of praise," as they talk of 
his industry and his talents. Hi9 talents ! ! ! Ua ! ha ! ha ! 
And yet it is galling to think that the bustling dunce has 
actually made more way in the world than I have. To be 
sure his is the vulgar, and mine the fashionable world. Yet 



TMB MONEYED MMXh IS7 

» 

would I not wish him to prosper, even among the merchants 
of the Borough ; for his success, casual as it must be» will 
make him conceited, and the conceit of a thriving block* 
head is absolutely intoleioble. 



After the great review of the volunteers, given in Hyde 
Park, in honor of the Prince of Wurtemburg, feeling fa- 
tigued with the heat and dust, I took the innocent liberty 
of disobeying the order of Colonel Herries, not to disperse 
till we reached Gray's Inn Lane, and, giving my charger to 
my groom, whom I had directed to be in attendance, I walk- 
ed towards Piccadilly, in search of a hackney-coach. Sev« 
era] others did the same, a deviation from the strict rigor 
of military discipline, upon which the Colonel has thought 
proper to animadvert. This is really carrying the joke a 
little too far ! In the field, or daring a review, especially 
in fine weather, one would not think of quitting the ranks; 
but after the Prince, and alt the members of the royal fami- 
ly had left the ground, it is too much to expect the same 
blind obedience to orders, however unreasonable, which 
would be exacted — and very properly too — from a common* 
paid soldier. We are noi co.nmon soldiers. The Colonel 
would do well to recollect that we are not only volunteers 
and gentlemen, but many of us persons of great opulence, 
or heirs to undoubted wealth, while he himself is a man of 
no fortune whatever. Sliould he so far forget himself, or 
presume upon his situation, as to exhibit any more of these 
impectiuent freaks, I myself, though one of his Majesty's 
most loyal subjects, shall not hesitate to resign, an example 
which several others, persons of the first eminence in the 
city, are prepared to follow. Men worth a plum or more 
will not be schooled and dragooned by a copper captain. 

Upon this occasion, I was about to jump into a hackney* 
coach, when I was accosted by Ned Simmons, who quickly 
betrayed himself by the loud familiarity of his voice, and 
bia cocking, self-satislied strut, or I should hardly have re- 
cognized him, so completely was he disguised by his uniform., 
and the towering, semi-circle of bearskin that surmounted 
his helmet, giving a most disproportioned height of capital 
10 the uoderHsixed column of his figure. Recollecting the 

12* 



I 



138 THE MONETWI HAIC* 

monatrous and unprovoked outrage I had perpetrated ia o«r 
last encounter, I oiiMiot say that I felt quite at nsyean 
when he followed me, without invitation or apology, into 
the hackney-coach ; especially aa lie might deem it incani- 
bent upon him to be particularly pugnacious to justify the 
war-like fierceness of his military costume. Most gratify* 
mg was it, nevertheless, to reflect that I had knocked dowa 
this presumptuous aspirant to the hand of Fanny Hartopp, 
although I had no reason tp believe that he entertained aoy 
suspicion of his assailant, since he made no allusion what- 
ever to the adventure, although he favored me with a kog 
account of the services he had rendered to his country aad 
to Colonel Kensington, as a captain in the Third R^imeat 
of Loyal London Volunteers* 

By way of feeler, and to make assurance double sure, I 
inquired of Simmons whether it was true that he bad beea 
attacked one night by a thief or a vagabond of some sort, 
as he was returning from Mr. Hartopp's. 

" Too true to be quite agreeable " • was the reply^ 
<' Some cowardly bully came behind me, and laid me pros- 
trate by an uneipected blow ; but I was up again before 
you could say Jack Robinson ; and if the scoundrel bad 
not been favored by an uncommonly quick pair of heels, anci 
an unusually dark night, 1 should have pommelled aad 
kicked him to a jelly, as sure as you are sitting there." 

<^ Should you know the fellow again V* I inquired, wilb 
an affected nonchalance. 

*' No, I never saw his^ face ; but by the glimpses I caught 
of his figure, I should say he was about your height and 
size." 

To hide my confusion at this remark, I poked my head 
out of tlK3 window, pretending to nod familiarly to a pass- 
ing friend, though I was only reflecting, at the momeol, 
{low completely the law of honor depends cm the publicity 
of its proceedings: how sensitive and bellicose we some^ 
limes are as to the opinions of others ; how calloiis and 
cowardfy as to our own. Here had I, bristling in my reg- 
imentals, and looking as martial as Mars himself, beeo term* 
cd a coward, a bully, a scoundrel,, and threatened, to my 
very face, with a kicking and a beating of the mpst gelati- 
nous tendency, feeling all the time (be greatest possible 



THS ;il«||UCT£D HAN* 139 

satisfaction that, owing to my iocojpiito, I was not in any 
way called upon to resent these complicated insults. How 
eagerly we all avail ourselves of (he privilege when we can 
be base and contemptible with impunity* Truly this is a 
precious world ! 

By way of turning the convcraation, I inquired of my 
companion whether he had lately seen any thing of th^ liar* 
topps. '< What I" exclaimed the communicative little cocket- 
writer, ever ready to talk upon any subject, and particularly 
about himself, ^< have you not heard ? It is all off; I never 
go near them now. Popped the question to Fanny a montb 
ago, when the silly girl sent me to the right-about, without 
a moment's hesitation. You may well slare.; true, never- 
tbeless-^bonor bright ! Father and mother, ail in my favor 
— no woadent Shewed 'em by my books what I was mak- 
ing every year — next in rotation to the collector outwards, 
at whose death my fees will be doubled, and tjbe fellow 
weezy as a brofcen*winded horse. Old ones up to snuff — 
would bave given their ears to have me for a son-in-law^ 
but Fanny obstinate as a mule, though she has not a button 
for her portion ; not likely to have salt to her porridge 
wben her father hops the twig. Ever hear of such inex* 
plicable condiKit ? That girl must either be mad, or she 
must liav« some attachment to another ; though she^deniea 
the fact, and I cannot find that any young fellow has been 
much of a visitant there, since you have cut the coQcero, 
and deserted the hill." 

Oh ! with what avidity did I devour this welcome inlbr? 
mation, ibr though I should scorn the idea of fearing Ned 
Simri\ons as a rival, so long as Fanny might cherish a hope, 
iiowever faint and distant, that I had any serious views in 
my attentions to her, I could not but fear the effect of his 
solicitations and importunities, after I had given up the field 
to him. Vulgar as he undoubtedly is, the dapper little fel- 
low is good-tempered, vivaoiouii, thriving in his business^ 
a&d irreproachable in his chaructier, spite of aH Mrs. May- 
nard's insinuations to the contrary. Considering her fa* 
ther's present rcircumatances, and her own futujre prpspectSi 
Ned would have been an excellent match for bert— if she 
could have, loved him in return. 

Ay, there's the rub. SUnmoos's sospician that 8h« misl 



140 • TUS MONfiYEl) JiAfl. 

have some attachment to another, does credit to his sogacity, 
and I think I eould name the party. Poor dear, tender- 
hearted little Fanny ! I am truly sorry that I cannot ex- 
change iiearts with thee ; and yet I am delighted that thoa 
hast refused Simmons. Why should this be ? It is most 
selfish and ungenerous, but so it is nevertheless. There tf 
such a thing as jealousy without love ; at least without mar* 
riage, and, I suppose, f Aal must be my feeling. In these 
affairs all men are alike; all are' unreasonable, inconsider- 
ate, lieartless, seeking rather the gratification of their owo 
pride and vanity, than the happiness of the object whom 
they have taste enough to admire, but not spirit enough to 
woo and win. Now that I know Ned Simmons to have 
beenrefttsed, I feel doubly vexed that I knocked him down. 
Mtm. not to yield to such perilous impulses in future. 



I have read in some book of a rich old father who used 
to sham illness on purpose to tantalise his prodigal and im- 
patient heir. Far be it from me to insinuate that there is 
any thing analagoos in the case of my own father and my*' 
self; but he has recently suffered an attack of influenza, 
from %(hich, considering the alarming nature of the symp* 
toms, the rapidity of his recovery was really calculated to 
excHe a suspicion that he could not have been in such iia* 
ofinent danger as he gave us reason to suppose. 

Dr. Babington and Dr. Sims, both of whom I have coo- 
snlted as to the present state and future prospects of mj 
fifther's health, a:isure me that I , need not be under the 
least un^asine^, his stamina being remarkably good, bis 
stnalt, wiry frame of that conformation which indicates loqg 
Iffe, and the Hawk wood family, in general, being prone to 
longevity, which is co.nmonly hereditary. And this infor- 
mation tliey couple with the complaisiint assurance thatl 
need not be under the least apj^r^ktrmon ! Indeed ! how 
df> they know ? More undotiful than other heirs I wouU 
not wish to be thought, although I have more excuse for 
wishing to succeed to that fortune, which must eventually 
be my own, and in which I am denied a fair partieipatwo 
during the life*time of its present possessor. Paternal iar 
justice like this ampuots to an usurpation, and has, doobl- 



I 



rum UQjKmtun XAif« :14l 

kssr^ been the source of many a pnmaMwkh; if not deed. 
Horrible demoralization, and all atlributebie lo the aTarice 
of sires ! Many, however, are the hoeoraUe instances np- 
on record of fathers who, by rendering their sons independ- 
ent during their life-time, have removed this shocking temp- 
tation from their path : a wise generosity altogether foreign, 
I am sorry to say, to the selfish and antiquated notions of AU 
derman Hawk wood, who not only refuses me that larger 
share of the hanking profits to which 1 consider myself 
/airly entitled, but has angrily, {might almost say, fiercely 
forbidden ail future recurrence to the subject, a monstrotts 
mandate to which 1 cannot long submit. 

That imperturbable, phlegmatic coldness and impassive- 
ness which my father so sedulously cherished, and flattered 
himself that it was equanimity, has been latterly exchanged 
for strange fits of excitement and hritation, alternating with 
moods of deep and gloomy sullenness, the only evidences 
now left of his recent malady;* These, indeed, seem to be 
aggravated by the removal of his bodily ailments. 

My mother, who, instead of soothing his infirmities, 
•avoids his presence as much as possible, attributes hts^phe- 
netid temper to his constant fretting and fuming about the 
unfortunate course of public affairs. That my father's 
patriotic feelings, or his sympathies of any sort, should prey 
upon his mind seems very little in accordance with his 
character ; but, if he be truly rendered vrayward and cho- 
leric by the present prospects of the British empire. Hea- 
ven knows that he has warrant enough for his moroseness 
and caprice, however morbid may be their aspects. 

Well may the stoutest heart quail, and the most confi- 
dent worshippers of our prime minister he smitten with 
tore misgivings wbM, within the compass of two fatal 

i rears, we have witnessed the stoppage of the Bank of Eng- 
and ; the apfwlling motiay at the Nore ; a sanguinary and 
wide-spread rebelHon to Ireland ; and the signal and irre- 
coverable overthrow of all our continental alliea. Here are 
calamities enough in a few short months to have stamped 
a whole protracted war with misfortune and disgrw^^ and 
to have unseated the strongest administration that ever 
held the reins of power ; yet the nation rebounds with a 
more buoyant vijor from every faHi and theoj^sttioa to 



143 THB HOVBTBH KAK. 

the miiitfllry ift so weA^ so helpless, so bofielesSy itetdM jk 
few whig members who still ding to their parf^jr hmegffh p 
ea up the contest tn despairy and have actually seGDcW M 
from the House. l^ 



If my father's spirits afe depressed by the state of pabfie 
affairs, mine might weH be plunged in a deeper dejectioB 
by the posture of my household concerns, my peeufiiarjf 
embarrassments assuming^ every day a more alarming ai^ 
pect. I hold myself to be tolerably vigilant in money ma^ 
tors, yet the expenses of the cottage at Epsom are unao* 
counlebly heavy aad con^antly increasing. But I miul 
live in a style commensurate with nfiy position and pros- 
pects, and I ought not to complain, since I have had thlB 
distinguished honor of receiving beneath its roof the cele- 
brated Bruinmel, an honor which gives me an acknowledg* 
fitl passport into ail the fashionable circles. 

For this I am indebted to Conway, who managed the 
whole fiegoeiation, difficult as it was, with consummate ad' 
dress. I treadled for the resttit, reeoiiecttng that wheat 
mutual friend undertook a similar mtssion for R ■ , iqf 
(Mirrying an invitation to a dinoer at a distant day, aocoo)- 
panied with a notification that Mr. Brummel was at libertf 
to name his party, he looked coolly up in the face of the 
ambassador ,'^fid quietly asked-^^^ Does Mr. R— ^— rdineat 
home himself on the day mentioned 2' — *' Of cottrse,'Vwai 
the reply. <' Then I csinnot accept his invitation," bowed 
-the great arbiter degofdujarum^ and, beckoning to a Cou- 
ple of dukes lounging at the window of BrookeaV, he coO' 
descended to give an arm to each, and to patronise thein 
up and down St. James's Street. : 

In bis visit to me, BrummeVs manners were those of a 
perfect gentleman, betraying neither arrogance nor affecta- 
tion, as if he were totally unconscious of the pre-^emineat 
and commanding station he occupies in society, so that I 
mm half dii|)oaed to doubt the oirrent anecdote aboot 
R ■ *■. To be sure, there, is some difference between 

R ^^nd-Huyself. It seems to me that Mr. Brummel'i 

coxcombry and his lofty preleosions are not aatural to hiooi^ 



TH» imrcmi ifAir« 143 



Imt adopted for <^{iie particular porpoie, which fimc peiv 
haps may develop. He appeared pleased with his enter'* 
tttinment at my cottage, which certainly comUaed every 
loxary that moYiey could command. 

Arthur Conway is perpetually harping upon the decid* 
ed predilection of the Duchess of Pullborough's niece in my 
tartor, and enlarging upon the immense advantages and dis* 
tinctions that I should secure by so exalted an alliance. The 
girl seems willing and forward enough, I must confess ; but it 
i^ «ck»owledged that she has not a shilling of fortune, ao 
insuperable objection to an embarrassed man, though I have 
not made him acquainted with my troublesome state of im* 
pecttoiosity. No, no!, an offshoot of nobility, with high 
BOtionSi expensive habits, and an empty purse, is no wife 
ferrae. Since my affairs havebecome involved, my thoughts 
have, frequently reverted tp Augusta Maynard, and her large 
fortune, I believe I might obtain both by asking, and, as 
a mao at ray time of life ought really to be settled and out 
of debt| it is by no means unlikely that Augusta may be the 
happy woinan after all. Nousverrona. 

Indebted as I am to Conway for my first introduction in^ 
to Aabiooable life, I must say that I find him in every way a 
. most expensive acquaintance, and somewhat too free and 
easy, even, for an intimate friead* Without so much aa 
asking my permission, he has invited Mademoiselle De Montn 
morency to spend some time at the cottage, on the plea that 
her health requires a little change of air, and the lady cer- 
tainly gives herself airs enough in her new domicile. My 
t^^uipage she pronounces too shabby for a gentleman^ 
and, as I hate imputations of this nature, I have sent in a 
breakfast-service of plate. Her broad, and by no means 
very delicate hints have compelled me to present her with 
several articles of jewellery, to which siie took a particular 
fancy ; and^ as to my carriage, liorses, and servants, she putis 
them in such constant requisition that I am almost deprived 
of their services. 

Although Mademoiselle De Montmorency came here for 
the benefit of country air,, she frequently orders my man 
to drive her in the phaeton to London, where she goes 
shopping, pays visits, and returned t'other day an hour afv 



144 THB mukM X w m nut. 

ter mj «iisloinary dinner^tttiie, without .^^otber |t»iim 1 1 
than a laughing dechraiioii that she had beee^ da c ci ti l ^ 1 1 
bar ivatcb, which was always too alow, an4 she rea% 
ed some kind creaturewoald take compassion u 
and give her a better one. On this hint I spake, B^fif^ 
sented her one of Moas's^ handsomest gold repeaterai W 
I cannot say that I find much improvement in her piiacta* 
ality. 

In other respects I have no complaints to make. She 
sings to me whenever I wish ; plays ^ards, bsKckgamnKXi, 
and chess; makes capital fun of Tonv Neville, whio is.aho 
at the cottage ; renders herself agreeable by a thousand lit* 
tie att<intioDs ; and pays me compliments which are eiK 
dently sincere, or they would not gratify me, for rhate ths 
fulsomeness of flattery. In Tact, she seems to t>e mightDf 
taken with me; and, on my part, I really find her a most 
fascinating person. Odd enough! that Conway has never 
visited the cottage since her arrivtiU She tells me he went 
into Somerseishire, lo assist a friend in a contested elec- 
tion ; but he must, surely, have returned before this. Hm 
lady, who seems perfectly happy without him, intimates no 
present intention of takiog her departure, nor liave I any 
particular wish that she should leave me, though I find that 
her protracted stay is begianiog to excite some titlle-taltb 
in the neighborhood. 



After performing a preliminary round of duties, yester- 
day, by visiting my mother and Edith at Bedd'mgtoo Parkf 
and paying my respects to my father at the banking-house^ 
I stroUed westward, and turned into the Cocoa Tree, where, 
to ray no small astonishment, I found Conway lounging at 
the window, reading the Anti-Jacobin, and betraying, by 
the quantity of scattered snuff upon his voluminous fritt,' 
that he had beenaittiitg for some \me in the same position. 
He was alone in the room, and, after slowly uplifting bis 
eyeglass at my approach, he drawled out--^ 

<< Ah, Mark, my fine fellow ! is that you ? — Well, have 

Su.gathered any tidings yet of your bid friend, Captain 
Idwin, the man of ten thousand ?" 
Conway never laughed, but his features curled as he now 




tHt MONnEB llj^l^ 145 



Sik w^liiilili'HfBWy offensive. 

'-^Yolnlpol^^^^ been here five minates sooner/' he 
resamed-— *' ytili wbiild have heard Jekyll's last joke. Talk- 
ing of the proposed repeal of the tax apon clocks and watch- 
es, I cfxpressed a hope (hat it would be carried into effect, as 
Ibehel^d the duty had seriously injured the trade. ' Ay/ said 
Jekylli ' and seriously altered the manufacture ; for, ever 
aince its imposition, the most prevalent ccLse among the 
watchmakers has been shagreen.' Have you read the ac* 
count of poor Jack Palmer's death ? He will be a great 
loss— what a leg and foot he had ! and how well his fine 
head of hair was always dressed and powdered, though the 
brown Mareschal was apt to predominate. I went to see 
JMuebeard last week. Have you heard what Colman said 
about Kelly's music ?" 

** Last week ! why I thought you were electioneering in 
Somersetshire." 

i< No — the Whig candidate gave in, so I was not wanted." 
^^* How comes it, then, that we neither saw nor heard any 
thing of you at Epsom ?'* 

'^ Really, my dear fellow, I can hardly tell you : I sup* 
pose I never thought of it. These midnight debates upon 
the Irish rebellion have put every thing else out of my head, 
and I thought I might be wanted for a division. We real- 
ly oaght to have you in Parliament, Mark ! In these alarm- 
ing times, when the country needs all the assistance of all 
her loyal sons, men of talent and eloquence, like you, ought 
not to shrink from the performance of their public duties* 
Why don*t you buy a Borough ? Why don't you purchase 
a seat, and come among us? You would be sure to dis- 
tinguish yourself, and would find it both pleasant and 
profitable, if you had a fancy to share in the scramble for 
the loaves and fishes, though these are beneath your notice." 

By a singular coincidence, the very idea thus suggested 
had been frequently occurring to me of late, for I was nat- 
urally anxious that my oratorical and other powers should 
be rendered subservient to the interests of the empire, as 
well as that I should obtain present protectbn against the 
insufferable impertinence of duns, though I had never 
dreamt of being enabled to carry my purposes into effect 

TOL. 1. 13 



df 



146 THB MKWTED MAN. 

onti) after the deaib of injr father. T 

ed to Conway, entering into a full stat 

ary aflsirs, end'ev^taclioowiedging that T^^Pl^r'^hwii 

up," to use a tMil^r phrase, as to ha ve 1>eefi tl^^ftene4i!itt 

arrest by an impertinesit creditor. 

** The best and the most common of all possible reasooa 
for getting the protection of Parliament/' said my compan* 
ion. '* Why, there are scores of young fellows who comf 
into the House for no other earthly reason ; and who de- 
light, as they drive about in their dashing equifiages, to 
scatter the mud over their vulgar pedestrian creditors. But, 
really, Mark \^l can hardly trust the evidence of n^y^owo 
ears. I am ut4erly lost tn astooisliment al what you bavs 
ju«1 told me." 

*< I thought you would be surprised at my father's, iw- 
handsome, niggardly, and unjust behavior." ^ 

*' Pardon me. My astonishment is limited to the beba* 
vior of the son." 

^* I do not understand* yoii." 

<< Nor I yoUr -What ! the aon^ and heir, and partneraf 
Alderman Hawkwood, the richest banker in the City, in psr 
cuniary difficulties,* and ^tuflly assailed by duns !" 

<* I have told yo4i ihat I have only a iUed stipend of a 
thousand a year." j , 

^< True : but < I think you write a reasonable good |ian^ 
Val. ;' as old Sir Sampson I^egend ^ays in the pjay*, (iisf 
me your acceptance, your no>te of hand, your ei^dorseipen)^ 
and I will get you the Abraham Newlands to any anioiinl-7* 
(genuine flimsieSj none of Baldwin'^ flash note«.^) m )e« 
than twenty*foUr hoprs, without compelling yoi,»„^ if tjie 
case with most heits, to takeout part of the amount ia'hc^ 
rax, beeswax, barilla, slops,;snilclotb, Dutch cheeses, Ifjfr 
wood, fustie, or any rubbish of that sort. No-— yo\i.jii^ 
have the wl)ole in iiioney^ savemnd except the nioderm 
commission to which 1 shall think myself fairly en titM. 
How many tbousajids do ypu want 1" 

'< Of course I must be' well aware that money couUb^ 
easily raised in this manner ; but, unfortunately, I am mi^ 
der a solemn engagement to nay father never to. gut mjr 
hand to not^, bili> or draft of any sort." 

^* As he had no right -to exact any auch conditiM^ you are 



iMttKHtnil-to ^ibserve it. -Sureljr jrou Rwy say, as Bm the 
Sailor did of his father, ' 1 am not bound appremice to bim; 
smd, as to my being unduttful, why; was he unduUfjiiitfirsi ?^ 
Besides, you cannot help yourself, aod^^neiiio t€$mt^r ad 
impossible— there, I have uot forgolleo .ati my Eton Laliii, 
yoo see." >. > 

" Upon this point I am immoveable. I am aorry I g9V9 
the promise, but I repeatedly pledged my hoaor to its ob- 
servance, and break it I never will;" 

^ Mark ! Mark ! if you go on in this way, you will never 
be a tKMiipIete man of fashion, Advier be one of us. Whal 
aay yoo Uien to a post-obit? It. will even liuiUy cost you a 
deuced deal more; for, as your stingy da^ is evidently, a 
tough, stubborn,* long-lived piece of goods, 4he terms wiU 
be high, very high ; but in this way jrou may raise the^wlnd 
vrilhout signing bilf, note, or draft, and Consequently with* 
out aiiy violation of your *vow.'- 

D<^ghled with so simple an expedient, which had never 
before occurred to me, and declaring that Ihe exorbitancy 
of the terms was a secondary consideration, as I should be 
relltng in wealth when called upon. for payment, I empow- 
ered Conway, who declared himself to be completely au 
/etf atsuchNpfoeeedings, and well aoquainted with all the 
money-lenders, in raise for me, in the first iestanee, a sum 
eff five thousand pounds; of which, at hi$ stron^ous and 
repealed reeommeodation, I agreed to appropriate one 
jihousand to the purchase of a seat iii Parliament,. fcM* the 
remainder of its term. As it is probaUe that there may be 
Ivro or three more sessions, the price is temptingly low. 
Conway says sueb an42pportuQity may never recur, the sell- 
iiig^ party merely accepting such a trifle because he is sud- 
draily compelled to go abroad^ and must mspessarily vacate 
hisfieat« 

. ^' Aa to the pmrchase money," eontiuued Qooway^ '' I, 
wiU ensc^ you getting it back before a dissQlutioo> aither 
ia meal or mah$ if you choose to push; the ministers, and 
friedge yourself • to come io again* I inyaeff, to be sure» 
hwe not done half so. well as I might, h^viag scandalously, 
oegleeted my^Ci^vro ioteres^, as all my. Brienda declare.V 

^^'.Tben I mast haire been misinformed.^ Ijunderstood, 
yott bad provided for some of your family." 



% 



148 VBB MOillTCO MAN* 

*< Why, yef y to a eerliio extenl ; for tii!#':fooiiger bio- 
then, who were entirely depeodaal upon mo^ I procured 
oomfortable situations in the colonies ; and I myself aught 
have got a tolerably good apointment at home ; but, a%it 
was not a sinecure, and I hate all trouble, I consented, iih 
stead of taking office of any sort, to be placed upon thd 
pension list.'' 

^* Nay, then, Conway, I cannot think that you haTedoae 
▼ery much amiss, altogether." 

*' No ! — why 1 have been thirteen years a member, dar- 
ing the whole of which time I never once voted against 
the minister, and was never out of call when I was wanted 
for a division — no, not even during the Ascot or Epsom 
week, which is sharp practice for an idle fellow like me. I 
might and ought to have done more for myself, and haie 
no doubt you will turn your time and your talents lo bet* 
ter account — that is to say, if you choose. There's the 
advantage of being a staunch Pittite! No wonder the 
poor Whigs have thrown up their cards ; they have beeo 
playing a losing game these ten or twenty years." 

Strange to say, during the whole of our colloquy, which 
lasted for nearly a couple of hours, Conway never mention- 
ed the name of Mademoiselle de Montmorency, nor .did I, 
fearing he might think I was tired of her visit. This is the 
more remarkable, as he stated that he should not be able 
to visit me at the cottage just at present, since the impor- 
tant commissions with which I had entrusted him wookt' 
detain and fully occupy him in London. 

A few days, it seems, will suffice to accomplish the whole 
aflfair of the seat in parliament. What inestimable advan- 
tages result from this system of close tx>roughs ! None 
but men of fortune can purchase them, which is a security 
for the respeclability of the representative ; while enlight- 
ened statesmen, brilliant orators, and profound thinkers, 
who would otherwise be lost to their country, are thus ena- 
bled to develop their talents, and assist the public counsel! 
of the nation. Conway is to manage the qualification for 
me, another happy contrivanee, without which, philoso* 
phers unpossessed of real property, and our largest funded 
capitalists, would i>e equally incapacitated from becomiog 
parliamentary candidates. 



THir mofmsftn man. 140 

" How to conduct mjrself fownrds my failher in thin matter 
oeensiioos me some littte embttrras8m«it« * As I am not eall^ 
iitg apon him for a single sbiHing, but mereiy dealing wifb 
iOf own prospective fortune, over which I have a deftr right 
if'con^trol, I do not feel in any way boimd to ooinmiinica't^ 
my proceedings to him, nor should I fike him to know that 
I have been raising money upon po8t*obit. It is my pre^ 
•tetnntention, therefore, to leave him entirely in the 'dark 
toiiri am actually returned, whenr it will be loo tate to of* 
fer«if object ion ff, even if his priileand bis pafsimony, when 
hs^fitida that my return has tost him nothing, do not rather 
iesd him to approve the step t have taken. 
: That this will be tAe case^ if I can make a brilliant mai- 
den speecit;, I do not doubt, for he piqties himsdf upon his 
own iq^echesat theCommon Council, pompons and wordy 
ai th^y are ; and I can fancy him strutting up an4 down 
l^e Batikofiiees, wkh a new^per in bis hand, and ex- 
ehMiing tii his friend's, "Qk^ have you seen my son's 
speeeh in the House of Commons last night? He was al« 
w^ys'foiki of imitating -me when quite a boy, and it cer- 
taMj is i rema^abie feet that great powers of oratory are 
gmemlly teredilary. Yes, str, generally. Look at Lord 
Cl^itbam and >Mr; Pitt. 

•*Mobl wort hyv but eertaini^ not most eloquent dad, your 
paternal pride and my filial ^uly shaUiioth be gratified, f 
will^eiideavor to exemplify the latter Jtalf of the precedent 
yiOiF have quoted { 



t " :.■*'■ 



^ * 



CHAPTER XI H. 

IT98 CONTINUED. 



'My titticipatiotis as to the immeMe adi^ntages to be de^ 
i|ved-^rom raising n^oney upon post-obit are considerably' 
diifiiiniirtied. - Goklen visions gleamed before mine eyes';' 
iiii^^iHd«waifo enfolded the portials of its exhaustless treasn* 
ff^tAidm^ flfie gather up wealth at « pKmsore ; I was a mo« 
49ki4!htB9Wj'or rather -a MIdfts, for I mu^t have had ass^s-* 
eaM to listen to Mch litirifercms mnsiGi witteMt ever inquir* 

13* 



ISO THS iMnnsD lU1f« 

log how mucfa I wfts to pty the piper. TI)o terms of 
usurious money-Jenders are eiorbitant, monstrous, ruif 
and aJl these enormous sacrifices are at my own ulli 
expense ! My fortune will, doubtless, be birge, very I 
and. it must remain so. This is the great object to wl 
ha?e been always looking forward. 

Through life I have been taught to consider wealtl 
first, the only consideration, a lesson which has not, I 
been altogether thrown away upon me. Neiiber will 
up the goose for the golden eggs, nor imitate the im( 
dent savages, who root up the tree for the sake of gf 
at the cocoa-nuts. No, no, I love money too well to t 
it away needlessly and wantonly. Conway tells me 
post-obit advances are generally rwed much more ean 
the life of an alderman, the lenders calculating, with i 
tainty that is seldom disappointed, upon the comoo n 
of civic feasting — obesity and apoplexy ; but that my fai 
temperance and spare habit, combined with the knows 
gevity of our family, have sadly aggravated the ten 
my case, althougir he urged that my father had lately 
fered a sharp, indeed he said a dangeroM attack of ill 
The extortioners replied that at bis age such a mabdj 
removing the superfluous humors, often improves the b< 
as a storm-beleaguered vessel is rendered the mote fa 
ant and seaworthy by throwing all her worthless m 
weights overboard. On the whole, he strenuimsly m 
mends my acceding to the conditions, hard as the] 
and I have desired him to get all the papers prepared ' 
out delay. 

The recent ^essore of my pecuniary embarrassmi 
the growing alienation between myself and my father, 
ing to his inflexible determination not to render me 
further assistance ; my conviction, since his late reco 
that, though my final stores may be accumulating, the ; 
pect of their happy possession is indefinitely deferred ; 
the feelings of proper pride, which are perpetually «i 
that, at my time of life, i ought to be placed in a sitof 
not only of independence^ but of opulence, have ind 
me to turn my thougbui more seriously towards Aof 
Mayoard and her large fortun«i and I have, accorduigl| 
aoqfie time past,, been both assiduous in my visits. 



TBX MONEYED MIK. - 151 

fKMftled in my devotions* In short, I have been dangling 
Wilb the golden prize. Had I seen any prospect of a sqc- 
eessful competitor, I should have made a dash for it at once; 
but though there are many candidates, I have sufficiency 
aacertaioed that none of them are formidable, and that their 
chances diminish in the exact proportion that my attentions 
mcrease. 

In good sooth, I believe the dofizeUa has been wahing 
for me all along, and, aa 1 have now4>retty well made ap 
my mind not to have any further dealings with the post- 
obit gentif beyond the jC5000 for which I stand committed, 
1 have ako determined not to keep tbe young lady much 
longer tti suspense. 

My father will, of course, make the most vehement op- 
pOfition to my l>ecomtng a member of Parliament, consid- 
erii^ my present stinted income, and will, doubtless, pes* 
ter me with all sorts of inconvenient questions as to the 
ways and means by which it has been accompibhed. I 
sbnlt, therefore, keep him in the dark until I have secured 
the band of Angusta Maynard, when I shaH communicate 
both [Heces of good fortune at the same time, so that one 
aoMzement may neutralize the other. As he has been re- 
pealedly urgii^ me of late not to sufier the great heiress 
to riip throt^h mjr fingers, he cannot be otherwise than 
gratified at my eamplianee wUh hU wishes, for I may as 
well put it down to the score of doty ; and should he ad- 
vance any objectiona to my parfiamentary project, 1 shall 
plead my indepeadmit position, declare that I shall not 
look to him for a shilling towards the election, and carry it 
off with a high hand. He will find that at twenty-nine 
years of age, with the income of Augusta's portion, f<Mr I 
shidl not object to its being settled, I am no longer to be 
treated as a boy. 



! Pffo^tius ! CaiuUus I Comeltos Gallns, at hoe 
gmm mtmt I Oh I what a pity that ye are all dead, leav- 
lag tbefaind ye no aueoessor worthy to bind my brows wttb 
Mlimfltb and myrtle, and to compose an undying Epitba^ 
Imhooi cqxMi tbe auspicious occasion of my approaching 
tumaaga^ Dune end owdiiors, avannt I I defy ye sSL 



i 
1 



152 THB MOMBTKD WOf* 

Post-obit morers ! down, down to Tartarus, to mingle with 
yoor bygone predoceiiorg. Fortune ! instant, tangible, efn- 
braeeable. Fortune ! come to mine arms, that I may kin 
thy Mind, but not undiscerning eyes ; and hither hie jft 
joys voluptuous and exquisite delights that wing the gl<ni* 
some hours of youth and opulence! 

Well may my language be triumphant, for I have aebief^i 
the victory, distanc^ ail competitors in the Afgobautictd- 
vrntnire, and borne off the goldtn' fleece. In plain En^sb, 
the handsome, the stately, the wealthy Augttsta Mi^mid; 
has consented to be mine. For several days past» at the 
invitation of the mother, who, doubtless^ saw and wished 
to -promote my object, I have been a constMrKTisitant or 
guest, thus obtaining opportunitfes for advancing my sait, 
which 1 failed not to turn to good acoosmt yaod this' morn- 
ing I determined to- propound the alUimportaot qaestion. 

Augusta's eyes and complexion, owing perhaps to thtf 
excitement occasioned by an anticipation of my pnrpoie, 
were more than usually brilKant, while metbooght thsie 
was a softening of that rather dignified canriage and iodt, 
which some people mistake -for Aatifettr. fier dress aad* 
ornaments were, as usuiBiI, of -the most eostiy yet leot 
showy description, arranged, however, as it appeared 4tf 
me, with a more than iisoal> attention to beoomuigneM' 
Alone upon the terrace,^' there wera no ofageeta to tfistiae^ 
our attention, but the peacock bridhng in tfie pride of hit 
own enamelled gorgeousoess, and the occasionaF flashing 
of a passing servant, whose splendid livery ghftered through 
the bushes that screen the offices from the garden and the 
bouse. All objects in this establishment, as I havebefoSf 
observed, are in perfect accordance : every things attests 
tii6 presence and the power of weatth, the feature -arMeft^ 
did not by any means form the least attraction of thespoC,' 
although the contrast between the quietude of the garden 
and the hubub around it, to which Ihave already alluded, 
was partieularly striking upon the present oeeoaion. . Fmm 
the^midst of crowded and noisy * streets, I had beeoirjadt 
deolyitfansported to this leafy aeeksioii, wtme I Iboad 
nqrself Ihaking love t>eneath thebongbs^ of tseee lo therao* 
6efl&paaifl9ent of the little feontafQ:^^! sent op its ign/lki 
plashings from the geeilte« .The wisole aoene ^was a pictwe 



THE MOMETfiD MAR« 153 

ot tranquitity,' set in a framework of obstreperoas Qommo- 
lion. ^ 

Some officious fool, most lif ely one of my numerous ri« 
mis, baYing insinuated to Augusta that I had been lately 
leading a very dissipated life, she slightly alluded to it, gen- 
erously rejoining, when I made a hesitating attempt to ex- 
culpate myself, 

<< Nay, nay, Mr. Hawkwood ! give up the defence ; you 
are a bad advocate, I see, when you have yourself for a 
cUeoty and 1 like you all the better, for I prefer an honest 
rake to a hypocritical one." 

Bless her condescension ! I knew that beforehand, or I 
riiould not have made such a lame defence. All girls, 
whatever may be their diversity of character in otiier re- 
spects, like a certain degree of gentlemanly rakishness in 
their lovers, the only general rule applicable to the sex, 
which does not admit of a single exception. 

'^ I have been informed," pursued Augusta, << or perhaps, 
I should rather say mtSrinformed, for I pretend nut to any 
knowledge upon the stibject, that all young men of fortune 
iadulge, at first, in a certain degree of irregularity and 
wikiness ; and I have heard it maintained that this propen- 
sity is best cured, as horsebreakers subdue an unruly colt, 
by suflTeriog it to run away until it is exhausted, when both 
the biped and the quadruped will become much more easi- 
ly lecoDciled to future restraint. 

" The comparison is not particularly flattering to the ra- 
tioeal being," said L 

" Not in the least,'' smiled Augusta, '< if you apply that 
l&nn to the young man ; but remember that it did not orig- 
inate with nae. I cannot see the smallest necessity for such 
an irrational experiment, although I can believe that where 
there is a basis of good sense and proper principle, howev* 
er both may be forgotten for the moment, their possessor 
ivill quickly emerge from the vortex of dissipation with a 
Qoafiroied resolution never to be betrayed into it again." 

V Very just and very true, Miss Maynard,and the sooner 
be purchases this salutary experience, the better.'' . 

** Unqoestionably, youth is the only excuse for so puerile 
u proee8Sy.aiid; if it must be gone through, let it be dona 



154 TUC MOKeTSD MAS. 

by atl means before a man setttea in life, for the mtfthief ii 
then confined to ila perpetriaor." 

Here was a hint, methoDgnt, of which it behoved me to 
take advantage. Augasta, having pretty well admitted 
that she liked a reformed rake, it was evidently my pro- 
vince to merit the character. Assuming, therefore, a semi* 
penitent toneand look, I confessed that, like other thoaght* 
l^ss young men, I had been tempted into various irregular* 
ilics and a guy course of life, of wliich I was now heartily 
sick, being both ashamed of its frivolity, and convinced bf 
experience of the regrets and self-reproaches that it ineii- 
tably entails. I was now anxious to fill a more useful and 
honorable station in society ; my father, attached by fong 
habit to tlie whole and sole control of the baiiking* btf- 
sinesjf, did .not wish nre to interfere in its rminagemeflt ; 
and as both Mr. Bearcroft and Mr. Mingay had expressed 
a high opinion of my oratorical powers, I had been iadoo 
ed to make arrangements for tmmedtately coming intoPar« 
liament, that I might lend my abilities, sach as they wefe, 
to the support of Government, in the present perilous stale 
of the British empire ; a resolution, I added, which, for 
various reasons, must be kept a profound secret for tka 
present. 

Here were two master-strokes^jf policy at once ! Firflty 
all women are flattered by being made the depositoritt 
of a secret, knowing that they cannot keep it, and valch 
ing your confidence the more^ the less they feel it to 
be merited. Secondly, Augusta is ambitious, not aspiring 
to rise beyond her sphere, but to be the first ia it ; a posi- 
tion which she woald unqoestionabif oocopy, were her hus- 
band to be distinguished among his fellow^citizeoa, not only 
for his superior wealth, but for bis talents and his senatorial 
honors, to all of which claims she is keenly sensitiiee. 

That some anticipations of this sort were floating in her 
mind I csinnot doubt, for there was an unusual agitation io 
her k>ok and voice, and earnestness in her manner, as she 
expressed her approbation of my virtuous resolutions, and 
confidently predicted that the success of my public career, 
by giving me an absorbing and honorable object lopursoe, 
would afford a certain security for the future pradence sad 
decorum of my private life. 



I 



tHS HOMSTfiO MAN. 155 

'^ Heie 48 fu^oiber proof/' said Augusla, 'Mf more were 
runlingy of the great advantages of wealth; advantages 
vrhicfh I bave always duly appreciated, though you have af- 
^ated, upon one or two occasions^ to undervalue thein. It 
orrects its own corrupting influences by enabling a, n^an to 
Mir^l^ase and to substitute honorable occupations jfor de* 
lasiog^ pleasures, although, in this instan<;e, as in almosi 
l^ery other^ the chief tx^nefits are usurped by your sex. 
to u vvoaian great opulence is generally a gresit evil. Be- 
ieged by adventJirers afid fortune-hunters, a rich heiress is 
requently avoided by men of delicate and refined mind^ 
rooi an apprehensiofl that their honorable love of the per- 
on naay be attributed to a sordid regard for her purse ; and 
bus sliQ must either remain single— generally her wisest 
M>urae-^or inairy a nian whom she cannot but mistrust^ in 
he first instancer and who rarely fails to justify that 03 ia- 
rust afterwards." 

** Nay, Misa Maynard," I exclaimed, " you are really 
.QO hard uppn the poor rich heiress. Cannot you suppose 
ixi interniediate fate between old maidism and marriage to 
I fortune*hunter) May not her charms and her good 
[fiialities iyou are the last person to deny these possessions 
to a ricJi heiress) jnay they not win the heart of a man 
equal to herself in wealth and station, of one who loves 
^r for herself alone^and who would be not less proud to 
dec^Iarie that love, weresl^e unexpectedly reduced to poverty^ 
theD whe^ be comes forward with an -independent and de- 
voted spirit to propose a union of their hands and fortunes ?" 

. *^ Qae readsof such things in romances," said Augusta, 
looking down and twiddhng with her massive gold chain. 

f<,^y^.4ear Miss Maynard, and they occur in real life* 
I aiyaelf am a. proof of the averment. Forgive me if t 
seek to turn yovtr own words and admissions against your- 
self; forgive the still greater boldness, if 1 confess that I 
love ypii ardeotly, passionately, even as you have wished to 
]>elpyed---for yourself alone. Pardon me if I adjd, that by 
a fortunate concurrence of circumstances! can lay claim to 
many of the qualifications which you seenti to think eligible 
ia a husband. A few years experience of , their em^ptiness 
has for ever redeemed me from the dissipations of youth-; 
a fortune equal to your own raises tne above all suspiqioii of 



156 fBC HONtYKD Mllf. 

interested motWes. I am about to eonamenee a new and 
an hbnorable career, and, if I might be confirmed in thil 
more useful and more dignified course of life by the hopes 
of a domestic felicity, which I can never, never enjoy on- 
less I may aspire to the hand " 

'< Nay, nay," interposed Augusta, in considerable agtti* 
tion, but without withdrawing the hand which I had venta^ 
ed to take, ** this is really not fair, Mr. Hawkwood ! I never 

meant my thoughts and opinions 1 did not suspect that^ 

you were laying a trap for me : my admissions bore no refer* 
ence whatever to — to — " 

*' I am not vain enough to imagine it for a single moment, 
but, as you must confess, that 1 have made out a feir case 
for my presumption, may I, may I hope, dear Miss Mayitard, 
that it is forgiven, that you do not reject my suit? tbatyim 
will allow me to devote my whole future life to your hip* 
piness?" .^ 

<' As I despise all insincerity and coquetting," replied 
Augusta, coloring deeply, and speaking with a dignified re- 
serve that sought to qualify the confession, " I will frank^f 
acknowledge that there are many particulars in our respee^ 
tive circumstances which seem to point us out as intended 
for each other. Perhaps I ought not so readily to make 
tlie avowal, but you will acquit me, I trust, of all forward* 
tiess except straightforwardness, when I declare that,sotir 
as I myself am concerned, I accept your proffered hand." 

Here I pressed her's, of course, to my lips, and kissed it 
with a tender enthusiasm. 

"Let it, however, be distinctly understood," resumed 
Augusta, " that every tiling is entirely dependent upon the 
approbation of my dear father, who has been summoned 
to Bristol by urgent business, and whose return I do not 
expect for several days. To me he has ever been the kind- 
est, the best, the most indulgent of parents, and, should he 
refuse to sanction the conditional engagement into which I 
have entered, it is to be considered from that moment ai 
totally dissolved." 

" Most willingly, most gratefully do I accede to th^ 
terms ; but you have no reason, I trust, for anticipating bB 
opposition to our joint wishes." 

**On the contrary, I have every reason to expect bi» 



Vint wmmn» it4ir« 187 

fbd M^ieteeftiMy and I mm teiety inAieiieedy in the f tipo^ 
MiOB I iwve made, hym dee)^ sense of gratiUide and diitj.'* 
Again I eipresaed nijr cordM cdneurrence id all her ar* 
rangen^ents, and, after repeating my thanki and my deyo* 
liOD, iPdwing eternal comtaney and so forth, and again 
fMPeastng her unresisting hand to my lips, I quilted the som^ 
awr-hoHse where this tender scene bad occurred, and took 
my Imive. 



No; the most astmeand practised negociator that ever 
lived could not have conducted this aflbir with more con* 
iumraate address. How skilfully did I lead her on, step 
by step, insidioiisiy winning her to compromise herself by 
• admtssioOs from which she could not afterwards escape, 
and thus adroitly paving the way for her acceptance of my 
soH 'Wkth'ihe least possible shock to her seiMove ! To be 
sure, where the negociator is adniired, the difficulties of his 
/ask ere ioeakulably diminished. And bow rich was her 
ready eredence of the averment that I wooed her for her* 
•elf alone, and not pcmr lt9 htatux yeux de $a eaanite. 

WelV, she might have done worse. I dare say I shall 
make her a very good husband* She really looked uncom- 
monly handsome when her eyes sparkled, and her face 
flushed fip with the excitement of oiir colloquy. Yes ; I 
feel confident that I shall discharge my marital duties in 
tbe most exemplary manner, for did we not both agree that 
a reformed rake makes the best husband I This was capi«» 
tal ! But am I reformed ? ** Mass! I cannot tell." 



My mothier ilnd sbter are both defrghted with my planr, 
^bteh I have imparted to them, stipulaling only that they 
tre t9 be tept secret for the present. Ediih is very par- 
tiidto Angusta, whose only fault, she says, is an over-«str^ 
mate <rf wealth as a means of happiness, and an undue rev*^ 
ereoce for its possessors. ' 

" That is so like you, poor child P^ cried my mother, who 
had overheard the observation. " Why, what are people 

TOL. I. 14 



1S8 .' IMMf UOKMUUk WUt^ 

CI, aU fUiJirMMscI^ for jp«i <mvft« wtce/ hke olb«r: guk jli . 1^ 

IhiiHl)! woiwi^rfid^!" . . i i v . i 

; The {fQocl lady. ber^eV «<^o iMok toC ixtfh«ng bat 4^9 
pii^bfibiQ aan^jAot: of. tbff: «»9rfu^8, |»orikifiiHi4te ;?»^«Nq| 
4<^m«iK.hich siie. aolkipfitetr will b^ lAtgeii i^ory<il«i^' Ji 
old Maynard is a liberal felbw, and quite devot^ r.^ IhA 
daughter. She reminded nne, too, with o smile of aatisfac- 
lion, that he is subject to jUtadia of gout, and that his fa* 
Iber died of it before he was sixty. Happy augury ! If 
^f pQP9^9^9 a single : apMi ipf tfili^l ^uly^Ji^ ;will; m^ a 
point <]yr (pOowing sp f]ir§|f ^^Ihy M e9«i^pl&» ^ 

A( my in(>(l|§r> ^afii^^solicMjitiofiil ha^e pfom^sf^ 1^ 
my maidien sppech^in.tbe |Iou3e:,«bajiJ lN^j^4iUil^i<0!ci<iH 
creasing the i{^cauaie*o{ the Prioce oif. WaUK>> l<> jwho^i.-shf 
still k>^, up wiib.wad^l4^on a^o#t.aiiMioiit|f|gc^^^ 
atry* t This isao^pe whieb L shall disch;^ge€#fK#IIMN9^ 
baviog 9 fellpWrfeeJing for b^ B^oyai- Hi^^tn^'s .ps<»i^f^ 
embarrrassments, as^yyell as,iot tbecriie) d^<9^Wp^Mp«Pll!^ 
arising from a. pfU^rii^.s^iili^y, ijUu^sQaably pr^^i^jptili 
How slialiby ba^.^^n^ thf,^^lMidMat^5^ ]Ui|g»tor jMitbjfflr9| 
t^ mtir\i^lej:s, lovf ards th^hfliiuF app^^t { .His j^i^i^yfi^High- 
tms hfis aatwiHyr^bsyea^lig^, lod^^ m^ij>fi9g« a.lMl 
f d4resS| be^^s^ his. |:edu«9d eat{|blA^n»erii )m4 mf^l^^t 
f oina ^ould ^pt ^Q^y. hi^n ^o.asstiHie. U^ »W9, ^m^S^f9i9% 
SQcb occasions, .Sc^fidalo^s I \V^beniIjf|pi9lV;b9^l!?^4ri|!KA 
pu^blic allei»UpJ> ;li| t^s^ auljijectr-^^ 1 4^lter /^ya§lfi ilil| 
o^ideo speooh m\i,f^i^\e /Ba9e#^!|sf(iiMi-?li(|MH»^'^^^ 
lieve tbajtjhe jri|^¥|ii)ce ,»(iH be saifecfd.V^^|i|Aiaftf9!waf^ 



I have just seen Conway, who informed me that the par- 
ty willv wbofii. h^ had hten^eg/^i^^fklJ^Iq^^iA^ 
rfectorjed:^, urgiflg thathe has po| jjej defiHijUvje^jf^ilipW 
up bis n^ind <fp go al^pad, ar^d ihftt^ if l^^^loa^, jji^^^ffulM 
havis a higliec prip^ for the ^eat^itKe Min^ be h^ Qfi^4^api 
|i^ii;ig.f|)Mch betp$ iu real ya^e. ,6^€|fs.piijrw4<9iiiiibipfit 
when Conway interrupted the exfig^^mg^.x^tj^j md^ff$9 
lAOli ^t Ibis u4%ifMJN<i|(^P cpi^dtMs* by.qiplaiiping,. " , 
^ <f li hi^f biqea. iaiaiyipus ! tb^ fdlo^ 1iai;fa{9h||i|a4 /Ute, f 



kol b^ dtoftppo'mfed; As I fc^iiiidemked to ihanfdge llit^ 
MUnrlbr jroo af « fited prito, f fett^bbund ift lienor, nty 
Abot fellow, to bring yoif through;^'! Ilave accepted tfa6 
CMIUM Huod#ed8, and iiiilf f roetire joufr rettitn for tnj 
Ii#tt4»6rd^gb «t ibe aiifMMited siiilv. Nay,'Aay; tYOthankr, 
fH» fliit»tnery ; I omldnH #6 otherwise,- alter what had 
iMissed.'^-- - ■•;.•.•. 

-• On^y ejtpteasiYkg li feaf ^that'hia own rnferests might b^ 
liaAiaged by hiasecearioti, fie replied-^ 
' •*Not in the te»«t^ not m ibe leaat ! They will not re^ 
t|Qfre me; ahd,be9fdea, I rfiail iK>bn be in again. Some 
<»f the eflicera ordered oa foreign serriee will be wanting 
to-treat lbr« aitbsliftrte, and i am always the fifst peraott 
il^pliedYo on titeae occasions." 

^N^ytwitfisfanding' these assurances, I canliot btft feel his 
behatfor to bane been higMy generous and friendly, and so 
I^Md'fiiin, with iminf assarahces of ^y gratitude. 
'- O^Vltaf bigbly approtes my choice of a subject for my 
jletMi^deciaring that, if I acquit' myself Weil, of which he 
enterfaiHii' no doHbf whatever^ I shal}' prbbabiy be introdue- 
ed^Ay^#heffid«n or Fox, or sorti^ of the f>arty, to the Prince 
(>f W«les, an hcmor whicli may lead to future and mor6 
important disffnetiomr. Looking at the' preimrious state of 
tba king's iveahh, he considers it infiriitely tnore politic td 
eourt the rising thaii t^ setting sun, an addi tidiial ^motiTe 
for my constituting myself the . Prince's champion in the 
House. 

' Witii the briliflMit, tb<i flattering, tha ^orious prospect be- 
4btw me ^ poaseasiog Atigusta a<nd her large fortune, of be- 
ii^ diBtingQislied hi Parliamehtj tind Heoeived into personal 
fiator lit (Triton House, f need no lodger feel any jealousy 
#f' tbe vulgar ptebeian, Matt. Pttimmer, and bis dirty digni* 
tte#^at 8oetbwat(c. I should like to eiitcb^ him'oalling ma 
** OMsiii*' wheti I am thus eie?ated above Mm ! 



Aalahattptob»bly4>e looking but, alter my nolirriag^, 
Ibr^ UMliiicMi Witb extensive grounds in tbe vicinity ^ 
London, for old Maynard has got no country house, I shall 
give^p'tbe cottage It £^6Mi| taki% my lea^ of that vi^- 



160 r»j^ mmt^MM imi» 

oioity with a/lfi dtoif>l/f«» €;ra4tic|e4 opoQ « smaU 
but 10 a stjrie worthy of tM auspicious occasion. UwiH 
^ restricted, of coarse (oiy cstabiishmeot ia this quarter 
being altogether 9ub rosd,^. to my bachelor coterie sad 
their associates ; aod, as my hands are so foil of b^oen 
at present, for my lofe-nvikiog and other m^ney matUn 
will keep me in London, Conway «nd Tom Nefille hai^ 
kindly undertaken to manage it all. I hate desired tbst 
pothing,may be spared* ai«d th^ afe not the men lobs 
niggardly when another pays the piper. They have invit- 
ed troops of their own friends,. :inciudiDg oki Charles Ban- 
nister, Arrowsmith, and two or three other ^singers ;, while 
Mademoiselle de Montmorency, who still very coolly keepi 
possession of her quarters, has bldde^ several of her femwi 
associates ; so that, with the assistance of the champagof^ 
we shall have a iovial party, I doubt not, and perhaps be 
able to ^t up a litlle dance. It is fixed for Wednesdsij 
next. On the day following I am to sign the post<K>bit 
papers, touch the money, and pay Conway for asealio 
Parliament, and on the siKceediog night old Maynac4M 
expected in London, so that I shall have a busy week. 

To the intervening time I would.say, '^ /, p^de/auitof^ 
fly. as quickly as you cao, for I hate aiMpenso, and ev^ 
wish the firstlings of my thought to be the firsllings of ni| 
hand. I wish Giiy Welford were discoverable. His fioft 
singing would give additional eclat to iny rural /ete. 



. Wednesday, the appointed day, came, and a glorioas 
one it was— cloudless, sunny, sparkling as niy ^irospeetii 
The guestsi more numerous than I. had expected, were all 

Ssily dressed ; a band of music had been provided ; the 
iiiner, laid out in a handsome marquee upon the lawo, 
was superb, every thing went ofi* famously^ and we were 
all as happy as youth and beauty, wU and wine, musio, 
song, and rampant mirth couM render us, when my valet 
whispered me that a post-chaise had just driven op to the 
door at full speed, and that the geatleman who had jump- 
ed from it desired to have insUmt speech of nae in a.privilt 
room. 
<V BlockbiOad !" aaid J| '' it iadoubtless onojof tlie.ipwstf, 



>w 



Tflfi liON^BI> MAlfii 161 

he 10 Midiewlnit of the UAetHf bul he isiiot the less weicoi&e. 
AU are weieoiBe to*da/. Show him io, sbaw him in 1" 

** Hog sir, he is not one of the visitants ; he tqid me so 
htmadf; hkbu^mess, he says, is of the last impoEtaoce, 
afi4 he must positively see you immediaiely." 

'* My good Harrison, you have now confirmed tny feso- 
hiCMHi BOt to^iidgQ from my seat. If be came aibdqt plea- 
sme I mighl bave^seen him ; but for bu8inesSi-*-'<QUBds, fel* 
low ! pbaaune is our busioess lo-night^ and to Moe other 
wm Hirteii.'V 

;, To say t^ truth, Ibegau to suspeet. that it ivassooie 
macj 4ttfi» and I was just we'^hiog the ptopriety of billing 
upon my guests, all of whom were in proper cue for suoha 
fresk* io Cost the feUoWiotolbe neigthboriiig pond » when, 
on looking towards the cottage, I reccgliiz^ ai (he parlor 
vriudow tb^ lacbrymose face df Amos Umrmer; the only one 
of nSy^tbeifs clerJo wbo.mtf acquaiuled with the secret 

^:«i9 Epsom relfeat- 

'■ /^Ames Harmer here !" I muttered to myself, '< what'a 
|b» ^seller now?" with which word9 I hastily apologized 
H^otj gtH^ts, and hurried to the parlor. My unexpected 
vkMisni looked so pale and terrified that I threw myself al« 
esQSl ^tfconscioiisly into an attidude, elevated my imnd» 
wij^eh siill held a champagne glass^ and ejaculated io the 
words of Maubeth :-^ 

- * ' * The deyil damn the« ^lack, thou cream*fkced loon ! 

WhaM gM'«t:tJiou that foove look ?** 

^*Ob^w,^ said Harmer, shaking his head somewhat re- 
proaohfutiy, " ibis is no time for merriment and jokes. 1 
bring you sad news, very sad news, and I wish you te be 
pi^epored for a great midforttine," 

<<Lay oo/Macduif !" I exclaimed, in the same theatrical 
tone, f<jr the champagne had begun to e^^erciae its exhilarat- 
ing unfluence. ^* I defy Fortune and all her malice. I 
^ve taken a bond of Fate» and made assurance doublv 
surCj 80'' leave nuking your damnable iaces, and begin V ^^ 
<< The AJderman, siri has bad a lit, and is dangerously 

" The Alderman I what Alderman, whey-face ?'' 

« Your wortbr4atber, sir, Mr^ AldcMrmao Hawk wood." 

14* 

4 



162 THB UtmtXmtk UAM^ 

*' Indeed ! I am sorry to hear it, init yon know, Htrmer, 
that my good fatlier has a wonderful knaek of ruHyiBgaf* 
ter these attacks. T'other day he was at death's door^ and 
a week afterwards he was better than erer. I ahali Defer 
believe that be has been seriously ill, till I bear Of liii 
death.^ 

^< And if you were told that such was really the ease*, 
coald yoo receive the intelligeifce with us iiitich «alranett 
as you now display ? Coold yoo bear it like a man ?" 

^ Why, Harmer, my father has attained a good M 
age, you know ; 'we must all die when our time is up, and 
it is the duly of sorvivors to submit to the dispensattonsirf 
Providence.** 

'< Nay then, sir, I may as well tell yoo the whole trutktt 
once. Yoar father is dead !** 

" Dead )" I ejaculated, letting the champagiM ghni Id 
from my hand. •''Gracioos Heaven ! when ? how T^ 

** Mr. Poole found him to-day, lying on the floor of his 
own office. He must have gone off suddenly, in a fit of 
apoplexy. We bad a sdrgeon in the hoiHie i» the course 
of five minutes, who itistaAtly declared that life roust have 
been extinct for more than an hour. Atternpts were mads 
to bleed him, but all in vain. He was cold when I iintied 
his stock, and assisted in laying him out apon the sofii, after 
which 1 set off as fast as 1 could to give you the first iotel- 
ligence. I have always felt a great anxiety for your welfare, 
and ywt will, of course, be wanted in London immediately/' 

Flustered »nd excited as I had previously been^ this 
sftirtling news sobered me in an instant, so that i jsaw with 
a keen and shrewd rapidity all the rm^portance to ray fiite 
and fortunes, with whicli it was fraught. A thousand 
thoughts chased each other through my forain^ while I inat- 
tcred, with an utter unconsciousness of what I was saying, 
"This is a sad affair, a sad affair T^ 

"Yes, sir,^ resumed the clerk ; ^ it was sad indeed to 
seethe Alderman stretched out, all stiff, and eold,^^lid 
silent, just at the busiest and' most bustling time of tll6 
afternoon, when he was generally- hurryi*ng over to the 
Bank to make the transfers, .it made him took so unlfte 
himself somehqw.'*^ 

Takmg advantage of my temporaAfy ahsenee'i the gofelil 




TM! IIONEtci& MAK. 163 

b0Mttth the msrqu^e bid been drinkin;^ niy health iritb the 
hosorsever iaTkbed upoaechampagnfe-givihg Ampbttrfoir, 
and the preKminary <<Hip! hip ! hip !"— the voeiferotHi 
*^ Ifinrrahs f' and tllHB final clatte^rfig upon the tables, re* 
aeonded at this inslant through tfie cottage, placing in thril* 
ling contrast the description I had just heard of the sad 
a&d silent chamber of death, in which my father lay oyl<- 
eifetched^ Harmer, who, like all vulgarians, has evidently 
a mysterious awe of a corpse, seemed surprised and ahocfc- 
•d ; and, as I wanted to get rid of him as quicklyas possi- 
ble^ 1 desired him to procure fresh horses at Epsom, and 
veiurn imn^diately to London, preserving a strict silence as 
to eH that he might have heard or seen at the cottage.'' 
- ** At Mr; Davis will now refire,'* said Harmer obsequi- 
oQsly bowing, ^i hope, rir, you will be good enough to 
Ipve me Mi^ situation of head clerk, with the same salary." 

To this request I acceded at once, although it betrayed 
tfie wholeaecretof bis great regard for niy interests, as well 
as of bts'eirtraordinary celerity in finding me out ; and the 
srortby clerk, divided between grief for the loss of his okl 
Aaaster md satisfaction at the gain be would make by the 
aem one, quitted the cottage with a Janus countenanee, 
tittit r^mtndM me of Garriek between Tragedy and Cooh 
edy; 

Wbaf.ariMCfilly thing is human nature! Amid aB the 
Amotions that burried through my mind, elating it with tri- 
Oiiiph and exultation at the thought of the fresh fortune 
thus pouring in upon me, I did not feel a single pang at 
tbedeatb'^of my father — of the author of my being, tbtts 
Wnexpeieledly summoned to his fest account, <^ unhonseledt 
unanneinted, unannealed !" True, we had not been upon 
viery friendly terms, and it is natural that old men should 
die; but still it dues seem strange that I should scarcely 
teve adverted to him at all, my whole soul being absorbed 
in conjecturing the amount of the riches to which I should 
aoe^d* The gift, in fact, swelled to such targe proper- 
tioiKr tlM ft hid the giver. 

One df the very first feelings that shot through my mind 
Hlw d^ht that [ had not signed the post-obit papers. 
'With a malicious pleasure f pictured to myself the chapfal- 
len disappointment of the usurers, when I should send them 



164. THE MOmiPSB UM0. 

wot d tint I bad no oeewoii lo ivbrnit to their extortions 
It toooMd as if the total reiAoval of nil ezeoie for oofo* 
toosoesa bad suddenly sabjected eio to ita graaping fangi, 
and tbal in my newly-born hunger for money '* increafloof 
appetite ^id grow witb what it fed on«" A few mlnutet 
before and I sbould have beon enrap^red to mafry de«r 
little Fanny Hartopp, had I t>een affliteni enoiigh ii>^iaka a 
portionless wife. I wap now iiidepend<mt<-HiVfBaU(i; ; ani 
yet, even if Augusta had oShrtd to r^aae4ne from an m* 
gagement to which my afiectio^s were nopariyi I could nat# 
would not, have abandoned my ol^im ta bar Coflnni^ 
Strange timt the accession to imbo^oded optionee sboaU 
so suddenly have oootracM my miodU SilM moseatraage 
that all these ideas and caloolationa should , bHvoeped like 
l^htning through my brain, in tbe brief iaterval.tbal elaps- 
ed between the departnre of Haroier and mj retam tp tbi 
marquee. 

There was no^iaei I tbouglit, in disttttbing the festivity 
of ray friends. They did not » could not« know what : batl 
just been communicated tome* Qn all acconnis it wsi 
highly desirable that I should appear to t)o ignorant of it 
mysdf, so I pretended to have been eaUedout by miatak% 
commanded a bumper of champagne'tQaignaKae mjfiietnraf 
called for a convivial song from that fine old baccbanaliiBi 
Chailes Bannister, again pushed round the bottle, and,, on* 
dar the ejEcitement and exultation of mjT faeiip^fs, soonele^ 
vated Mie hilarity of the party into a rampaitt and sbriakiog 
revelry « Com ie songs were sung, or , rather ^tmuted,; firflsh 
bumpers were rapidly proposed by fellows wjbom I b^dibaVf 
er seen before ; some of the party became bV^^ougby and 
pugnacious ; others indulged in a thick*speakii^ mamUia 
fondness, and a few had already foUen asleep im cornen^ 
when the shades of night gathered around us ; tl>e vnbicles 
arrived) the guests rode and drove, and stagj^rod away ; 
the cottage was left to its usual repose, and, at midnight, I 
|[ladly retired to my room, fevered, lieaied, and, with a raolEf 
ing headache, but, strange to say, quite free from iiiebriety. 
The intoiication of wealth must have oeutraliaed^ that of 
wine, for I felt the full and clear, exhilaration of opalenne, 
fvitb none of the fuddled and nptiddled and flatl^lent iataoff^ 
.nnc{y that c^racteriaEes drunkenness. , 



T«« MOHSTI^ Jf AM. 165 



CHAPTER, XIV. 

1799 CONTINUfiJK . 

To my ao tanll turprtse, I arose on the foibwiag mern^ 
log free (torn iliriess of aoy sort, and even from all senses 
tioQ of fiiltgue, although mjr nigbt had been nearly aleap* 
kmk Tbemtfid had triumphed ovor the body. Ambttiona 
aefaeme^^iid gkyriotts anticipations had lifted mealoft^ ren* 
deft&g me insensible to corporeal ailments. '< My bosotn's 
brd sale lightly on its Ihrcme ;" never had I felt more alert 
in frame, more sprightly or exuberant in spirit. Formerly 
I btfd maintained that life l>egan at ths age of twentjr-one. 
Ay, if the young heir attains his fortune with his majority ; 
but my existence hitherto had been an irksome state of vas- 
aaiacs and dependence, with present restrictions 4o which I 
mM not be reconciled by the prospect of a future and in- 
defimle emancipation. 

Poor aodcrippied as I had been, I had certainly indulg- 
ed in aome little gaiety and licence; but it resembled the 
satamalian liberty of a slave, or the dance in chains in the 
Beggars' Opera. Now that I had become for the first time 
my own master^ now that I was free and unencumbered, 
M«v thai, like Sindbad the sailor, I had shaken the dd man 
from my shoulders; now that, instead of living in the ho* 
imKaling apprehension of duns, I should revel in the eono* 
Uiag possession of boundless wealth — now^ and now only 
Aid I feel, that my real life ivas about to begin. 

flow rapidly does the mind change with our circumstan- 
oea 1 Mine had undergone in one night a wonderful expaQ>» 
lioB and itevebpmenl. I arose a 'new man^-at least in my 
sensations-— the toward sunshine was so bright and cheer<» 
M, that iteyen seemed to irradiate external objects of the 
murkiest hoe. 

« .^ What a beautiful morning V^ I exclaimed to my valet^ 
$a ho was dressing my hair. 

. . <^ I dare say it will clear up presently, sir," replied the 
man, tkiii&ifig. I had spoken ironically, for it was pouring 
with rato. Had I be^p awiype of the £Bct^ I should h^n 



held mytelf as independent of the elements as 1 was of afl 
the world ; bat, feeling as if it must be fine weather, I (MT- 
dered the groom to brmg- tbeiiarset to the door, and left 
the cottage liefore the guests, who had staid with me for 
ijie night, had made Iheir appearance. 

There is something inspiriting in a stormy violent raia ; 
iieihtbits vigor. and ammatton ; wliile « dotio aw i | s drilrie 
iadttU, drowaj, and oppressive. The- mdrniog^ bad n^sr 
aasiHned the latter character.* At:, any other, tme, <tbe 
warm, heavy, spongy, air would have hiMig arauad ttie Jiks 
a wet bbnket* weighing«dow|i and -oppressing |^h dis 
body and the spirits, but now these seddoitHii^ hiBi|<mM 
were unfeit. As the superfluous activity of <be mindiia' 
anoments of excitement, gMerally commiinicales itself \» I 
the^ frame, rendering us impfltteal of sliw movemems^l 
rode at full speed to Beddingtoa Park. 

Spite of the gloomy atmosphere^ the place looked fuueh 
more beautiful than I had ever seen it. It waamiMi 
The deer were mine; all tlie honies graaing in tbe pttddack 
were mine; every thing I passed was mine ;. that is loai}^ 
if I chose to retain t&e parJi; biit I should, piobahly^'re- 
qnire something on a grander scale, after -my «aarcaage with 

At]l|VUSta. * r 

{reached the. bouse ; the shutters were all careful^ do<« 
ed ; the wind was sobbing, and the drooping trees, aaturati^ 
ed with rain, wept around it ; no servants, no doga weia 
moving about ; no softtod was beard, but the moor a ful and 
monotonous eoomgs from the dovecot ; in anycfthor aoady 
I repeat, the whole scene would have assumed -a w oe b^ 
gone aspect ; but I ioolied upon alt lisaiwas pveiperty, and 
I looked upon that property as mine, a magio^ word, that 
gilded every thing with ia cheerful radiance.of its dwn. 

I fouiid my mother in the break fastHroom at /thelback of 
the house, the windows of which were open «b «s«al» 

<< Dear Mark rv she exchumed 'upon seeing 4ae,<vhM 
glad I am that you are come ! I hope you mean tora^ 
main here, for poor/ Edith, yottknow^ is nobody, and I 
shall be moped to death. Ail the. front wkidlftwa eloafedf 
and the draiving-rpoms c^uite dark, I am ob^ged to iit ia 
Ais poky tittle |iarloir. No going dvt**-4iobody; cali^ifi 
Shocking I Cdedanal fdeliqisittt Ui^' > 



*,r^^iW M credtt .^ iff nm^ifmi wtihpi^gk i\ w«i im? 
WppPf^^ci^ bjr 4>6r Wk»| I exjiin^sed s^j 9otKQW for ber ii|p 
^ispouijaOy As^ w^II as for Us trulx qfielapcboly cauw. , 

^/' phj ft^ 1 de^ Msijrfc I , O/ily tp |hiqk of your faibef 
dying in that dreadful manner^ when he never bad a fil V^ 
for^fo^Jibis lif^J Wonderfiil. IX it bad be^o fot Alder- 
qBA'<3<M)dqiU.)^^^ WiiUam Curtis, afjLQr all ihl^ 

t^^Ie-«iiyiiQlg on^pciid bis yacbl, oae would not bave been 
aurprifedA; And of all. limes in the. world to.die just>Aow» 
y^BB ^T^r. any thijOg ^6 trg ly provoking !" 
. }' You IBU61 rei;ollec t thai my father was not y oungt aiid , 
Iboij^ be appi^arejd ito h^ire ref^oy^r^d from* his recent utrv 
tjicfc^if i; probable*--—-^" 
l^.'^Iirad 4101 Alluding to hi? age/- interposed my m^tber, 
^iC4<i^J![aajioibing — be^ was not an old man«^by no inean« 
-t-rki fact, very near my^wn aianding: but only to ibiokj^ 
4^r l&Iark, (^ bis dying on the very week wben I was en-^ 
gajpd to tbe , longrprooiised party at Lady CiKBpbeirsy at| 
wWcbitb^ Prince of Wales is to he present ! And jny, 
4i9|n^R^eairr rings are gipne to Ruiidle and Bridge's to be. 
ai^ i|) i^^w fn^hioQ op .pu/pose for this party* He was 
qi|ll^jair0r^.t(H>, of ]bb^fa.ct-«-l hfd m^Qtiooed it tobiiD 
repf^tedly^ but I miiat say, M^k, your poor dear fatfic^ 
ma lop pron^ 40 be selGsh-rrntways wiis» I. cannot iMder- 

^^^^■■.: :■:..:.-:■ /.. ' 

^i5,SpifjG^y:ypu d^x iot ^i^pposp* tiiai be potild tove pO«^ 
l^fifd tJMs^ial aJLtackr 

-u^'t^i^'^H P^^ ^^V '^ ibe Jeast ; be .nerer ponsqlted my. 
^f^ff^fij^fi'm ai|j)f thix^ wbi^li is the v^ry i^atter I ainf 
eofliplaining of, and proves what i was saying; and ypii 
know I never could abide a want of proper consideration 
^otbf^^^peopie's feelings;, bi|t I am not vexed^ior I was 
^liJhl °^ dis^p^inted in all things^ and I imow.it ia n^ 
(ii^^ jioiifpbflpdt. . .Your fatber wasa veryjpodinanin.eve/y 
l^btr* i^sp^t, aiMl of i^ourse J must be deeply distressed a) 
bis loB^.;, 1^1 have just beep writing i^o^L^J Camnbell. 
** ' ■ J, tbe ear-rings .were to have hsen .exan^tly like li^y 
;, {mt tt^r^is no ,deipenden(;:^ upon bappineai iq 

,^,i4 tbiSjMiatsinI Edith ent^ried the HQom, apd, hurryiDg.^n 
to im! v^h M eau>;iap which I b«d iprely a^en ber «^i^it|i 




i6d iitt ilMvftb lixlf* 

Vrhwpered gofttjr ^I hare tieen flirnking of yon, d^r 
Mark, and hoping yod would call, for I feel that I lofejrM 
now more than eter — as a father as Well as a brotfaery nid 
I longed to tell you so, because I hoped y6li would love me 
better in return." 

' Edith never complained of the coldness and ^contempt- 
ifous treatment of her mother, but I understood the mead^ 
ing of this quiet appeal. It was to remind ime that shir 
would now be left completely in her power/ unless lli^' 
might look up to her brother for sympathy and protectloa. 

"You may ever depend upon me, dear Edith !** Ire- 
plied, pressing her lo my bosom, and I feel that I Mfe' 
made her no vain promise. Hitherto I have partly patron'* 
ized her from a spirit of opposition, because she has been 
too much slighted and undervalued by others ; but she vreff 
deserves my best regards for her own sake— she is entithftf 
fo my protection, and I am determined that she shaH not 
be exposed to any additional annoyances, because the hmi 
of the family has been changed. Poor girl ! she hurHf 
spoke after my mother resumed her bewatfings about thcf 
uncertainty of human happiness, and she made no reference 
whatever to the recent death, though her eyes and looks be- 
trayed that she bad passed a weeping and restless night. ^ 
' *' Poor Edith is such a mope/' said my moth^, wiio td^ 
ways spoke of her, even in her presence, as if she ivers 
absent, or d^af, or unable to comprehi^nd, << that you mast 
not forget your pron^ise'to pass this miserable week af thj 
parkc I shall have nothing to amuse me, you kndw, bat ior- 
dering the mourning, and even that wiH be a xtk^tndk^f 
business to me." *^^^ 

" Is it not so to every one ?" / ' ' - '^ 

'' No ; some people look partiailarly Well in bfaisk, bat 
lo me it is excessively unbecoming — sfaodting! - .brides 
— ^some people have no diamonds, and iire not^ thelfefiirt^i 
obliged to forego the pleasure of wearing tl^m. Odd^ 
that men should not understand these things bet tef.^* 

On my arriVal at the banking-house, whither I mn^ 
ceededy I found the front shutters partially closed^ and 
diminished light, for it was a dark day, supplied bycandiwi 
but'the bustle of business, in every other respect/ was just 
the iame as usuaK My reception, hovrever, was manifestly 




diger w it, •• toMm ittbe ii^BttMcoef w«thfc^ai»El' so de^" 
Iffti^ooUd our reverent for its poBsestor. 

The aeqof iotnnce .wbom I pass^, and who used here* 
tofore 4q recogoixe me wUh a nod, bowed^ or toaehed their 
haUr; md the air of profouitd homage with which the 
dariu oaed to greet their old master, bad iKHir descended 
to^ their new one. I endeavored toiaeet tfaU deferential, 
r«eeptioB with atningled eipresston of humiKtjand woe: 
ham kit I eueeeeded Heaven only knows ; but my face, I 
feR#^ W^s 4iot a very faithful index of my heart. 

In private counting-iiouse 1 was presently joined by Mr. 
Foeie, at whose apparition it became difficult to auppreaa 
an ^iHimeiy smiie, m> ridiculously lugubrious and grim was 
fats whole aspect. Having discarded for the nonce the 
powder which served to r^eem in some degree tbe hard- 
ness and vu^arity of bis features, his wiry-grizzled hair, 
UaiwroaM ^ronsed visage, ^wearing a look of overacted 
Wee^ 4be upturned fishy eye, add the .deep groan, not far 
f^eanoved from a gmtit, of which he delivered himself on 
entering the room, presented a combination wbicb, instead 
of efB^ting my sympathy, onJy reminded me of Mawworm 
in the *' Hypocrite." 

A fierce' few laelM'ymose and commonplace ejaculations 
oC vronder and regret at the suddi^n death of bis ever«to-be« 
mgiiBitad purtiror^ be inquired whether I would wish to see 
tJMi t»ady-^-^*a pieasant invitation, which I declined, although, 
I hefieve, the process is usually gone through upon these 
oocaaieiis, at least by females. It will sooth their affec- 
ti^aali^lll^i^KS, they urge, to have a last took of the dear 
4^pii<ed. My dear madam, or miss, (as tbe case may be) 
lay not that flattering unction to your soul ; you may im- 
f^ine that you are evincing great tenderness of heart, but 
yoor laal motive, although you may not always be aware 
eHii^ itJK^ing in the^ortd but a feminine curiosity, or a 
SBiWbld loveef ^Ksitement, perhaps a mixture of both. The 
ooly imtege which a rational affection would wish to iU for 
ever ha the memory, that it may be referred to in the ret- 
iMlMlive tieart^yearnings of after-years, ehould be the last 
Itimg look; the last gleam of love-beaming eyes respon- 
srvc to our own ; tbe last smile of mingled intellect and 
fettling, expressive of dying gratitude iHid att»shment ; and, 

TOI«. I* 15 



170 XaBMOHKYKO HA»4 

therefore/ coMtHnlHig en «fei^fmie/iil tisioo for fcrtmen- 

collection ; and all ihia you would auperiede». that year 
mind may be hauoted by the revoUmg grhi of m iasen- 
sate corpse ! 

But the wish of gaziog ooce more upon ibe face of a 
beloved object is so natural. Is ti ? Then why -not have 
the grave opened^ and the coffin unscrewed, a moath after 
interment,, that you may enjoy the satisfaction of a alill later 
last look ? No, no ; the dead were nevei^ meaai to beoaa- 
templated by the living. Cherish their nieaiory, aad let year 
love of them survive as. long as it may be mado to endure; 
but dream not that you are testifying your regard by gazing o^ 
on their inanimate remains. Some three years ago^ aflerthe 
celebrated M rs. Phipoe bad been eiecuted for murder^ I weat 
to see the body, which was deposited iaa houae in the Old 
Bailey, and exhibited to the public. A perpetual atrean 
of people, admitted at one door of the room, walked round 
the table upon which.tbe corpse was extended, and passed 
out on the opposite side, not edified or affected by the 
ghastly spectacle, but venting ribald jokes upon the self- 
inflicted wound in her hand, the discoloration of ihe threat 
produced by the fatal rope, and similar trivialities. 

It was a brutalizing exhibition, and I then >vow«d never 
again to become a willing gazer upon a corpae. Three 
fourths of the spectators were females, ectualed, o^cqunp, 
by mere curiosity and love of excitement, and .with a 
better excuse for their indulgence than tbe> naadaaa>:or 
whom I have just apostrophized, inasmuch as ibey bad no 
affection for the deceased, and, therefore, ran finjiiih nf 
having painful or Mrrowing reminiscencea substitui 
prevloua impressions of a contrary character* : « 



Strange as it appears, even to myaelf, tliere is^ife^eN#i 
ing the factti^t in this, the very earliest momenl of alijl^e»9 
richment, I feel, for the first time, the toucheaof aftieow 
omy totally opposed to all my previous habits. Wbw Hi* 
Poole asked me whether I had any instrtictiofia to fp99$llh 
spectiog the funeral, I replied at oi»$e-^ -^wS 

<< As the body has ao small a distance to be eoQveyedr 
for I know that my father wished to be btiried io ^t« Mr* 



TSC BfOlf«TB0 UAff* 171 

riielofiieNv's ebarch, it wouM" be ftbtttrd (o ineor any unne- 
cesflftry expends. I haYe always utKierstood that ufider- 
takers' diafges are qotte preposterous ; iadeed, I have 
beard my poor father say so, and I am sure that he would 
Bot wisii. money to foe thrown away for their benefit. I 
would have every thing conducted in the most respectable 
manner ; but no extravagance'^— no waste — for pomp and 
display upon such occasions are but a melancholy mock- 

^* There may posstbiy be some directions upon this sub- 
ject in the will," observed 'Mr. Poole ; " had we not better 
teok for itr' 

-** Certainly, certainly,'* I replied,^ eagerly, for, to say 
the troth, my main objbct in hurrying to the city had been 
a desite to inspect this important document. ' 

For a considerable time we searched accordingly in all 
tlie safes and desks likely to be its depository, but without 
success, and I was at length unwillingly obliged to depute 
thecontinnance of that duty to my partner. 

Were we not forbidden to speak ill of the dead, I should 
aay that this is an unpardonable piece of negligence on the 
part of my father, and not less strange than inexcusable in 
a man of such regular habits of business. In cases of in- 
testacy, the law makos a far too liberal provision for the 
widow, at the expense &f the heir ; but, in my own instance, 
i^o net apprehend that I shall be long kept out of the 
foil rights- of my succession, my mother being advanced in 
years, and her health by no means good. 

A«^ta Edith, however, much as I love her, I must say, in 
jeMice to myself, that the proportion awarded to her by the 
law, and which must be deducted from my share, is unrea- 
amiably large. She already possesses four thousand 
pound^, left to her by her godfather, old Mitchell ; I am 
^"debito neHriylhat amoiint,and yet, such are^ the blind and 
arbkinry 4tspensations of the law, neither of these circum- 
itances are taken into consideration. A sniall sum, in ad- 
dition to her legacy, would have been quite enough for 
#litfa^ especially as she might always have depended upon 
the generosity of her brother. 

Such^ at»mbers of friends called in succession to offer me 
their condolences, that I was obliged to run away from the 



17S TUT ifoina^iM>' nw* 

banking Jioute. KilidrlMMirted>b]rpQefit^! think tli^yiiiil 
I did not penetrate tbeif naolttrefl 1 Half of tbein wereaeY- 
er in Ihehdbitof ealliog upon me before; and, spite of 
their profenions of regard, for my worthy father> it wa« 
manifest that they catne to pay conrl to the rising sutt, not 
to do homage to that which bad just set. 

Annoyed beyond suiierance by the necessity of assomiog 
a Woe-bc|;one look and demeanor,, aa these sad -actors, ia 
e?ery sense of the word, went through their respective parts, 
and bating all the lugubrious foromtities I should hate to 
endure, if I remained in the city, I returned to Beddiogloo, 
desiring Mr. Poole, if he found the will, to forward it to 
me immediately, and if not, to give instructions for a plaio 
but respectable funeral, sending me a aummons when it 
was necessary that I should attend, and not pestering me 
with applications upon any other subject*^ 



Most glad am I to have a few days' seclusion at the park, 
for custom requires that I should abstain from all my usual 
amusements, and I have, besides, many immediate arrange- 
ments to midie, and many future plans to consider and de* 
dde upon. To Conway I have already written, desiring 
him to inform the parties concerned that 1 havQ now no o^ 
caaion to raise money upon post-obit. 

The more I reflect upon this subject the greater cause do 
I find for congratulation in having saved so heavy a sacri- 
fice by a shigle day. Truly this is a most auspicicms com- 
mencement of my new career, and augurs well for its fu- 
ture prosperity. As to the borough, however, I have de- 
sired that all the previous arrangements may be confirmed, 
as I shall assuredly take my seat as soon as I can decently 
do so after the funeral. 

To Augusta I have also despatched an epistle, kmentiag 
that the late mekincholy and most deplorable bereavmieat 
must inevitably postpone, for a short time^ the bappiiiesa I 
bad anticipated, a delay to which I should endeavor to re- 
eoncile myself by the conviction that it was only tempora- 
ry ; adding, that as I felt too deeply affected ;even toenjojf 
society so delightful as her own, and was anxioosy more- 
Qveri to administer every comfort in m^ power lomy aQict* 



THK mmB,YZB MAN. 173 

ed mother and sUter, I had determined o^i »biittU^ my«eif 
up for a week at the park. 

Meo pericuio I venture to assert that this missive was a 
most ingenious eomposttiod, for Augusta cherishes so blind 
an attachment to her own father, that she cannot fail to be 
gratified by a manifestation of similar feeling upon my part. 
In this^ respect we are all hypocrites, and have been ever 
since the days of Per^fius. Augusta seems too proud and 
independent to act a pari of any sort, yet I should be sorry 
to become security even for her sincerity. She may argue, 
indeed, that, aB her father never refuses her any thing 
wealth can command, his death would hardly place any 
new luxuries within her grasp; and so she may, like many 
others, dignify indifference with the name of affeetion. My 
position, with reference to my father, has been very, very 
different ; my real feelings, therefore, whatever outward 
signs of grief I may assume, cannot be of any very acute 
or inconaolable nature. Sudden emancipation from a long^ 
endured and galling thraldom — the transition from debts, 
duns, and a paltry stipend, to boundless wealth, are not 
particularly calculated to make a man miserable, and T will 
not pretend that they have had any such effect upon me. 
To the world I must of course put my mind, as well as my 
body, in mourning, but I need not be a hypocrite to my- 
self. 

Upon one thing I have fully determined — I will possess 
land ; I will purchase an estate ; there is nothing like terra 
firtna. Some one has said that funded property is inier- 
est without capital, while land is capital without interest ; 
but, in these revolutionary times, the former may be noth- 
ing t)etter than the shadow of smoke upon water, as we 
have recently seen in the fate of the French stocks and as- 
signets ; while the land can neither burst like a bubble over 
your head, nor run away from beneath your feet. You 
may be compelled, indeed, like the unfortunate French em* 
igrants, to run away from your land ; but some fresh revo- 
lution may give you back your acres, though it can never 
restore your bankrupt stocks. Land carries an importance 
with it ; it gives you weight and influence ; it makes you a 
part and parcel of the country : besides, I may purchase 

15* 



174 THB MOMBTED UMN 

a borough, and OMke it return my money bj retovning me 
to Parliament. 

On this subject old Maynard ntust f>e cOBfulied. Like 
most citizens, he prefers stocks on account of tlieir easj 
convertibility into money — a Vulgar prejudice ; but I must 
not ofiend him. Although Augusta is hb only cbrld, SBd 
he is doatingly fond of her, I must recollect that he ba 
testamentary powers whkh it behoves me to conciliate. 
This will be a thraldom, pro tafda,hui I tru&Et it will be a 
short one. Augusta once mine, and the old g^tleman 
may follow the example of bis goUtHMicrificed sire aH sooo 
as he (leases. 

Visions of a splendid n^w equipage have already passed 
through my mind, for I suppose the lumbering old family 
coach will be appropriated to my mother. What it shall 
be I have not yet exactly decided, but that k «haH eelqpse 
every thing recently launched, I am fully reserved. Con- 
way must consult Brummel, and I shall then desire Tom 
Neville to superintend all the details. In this department 
I shall not suflfer Augusta 10 interfere, and so I shall teS 
her at once, for it is well to begin as you mean to proceed. 

By way of a joke, I once talked of assuming a watcb- 
cbain for my crest, my life having been saved by that ap« 
pendage when 1 was rode over by smugglers 'upon Blaek* 
friars Bridge, and I am by no means sure that I shall not 
realise the idea. It would be something new, wnd would 
draw attention. My plate I shall get from Rundleaiid 
Bridges, and 1 think of having it all made in the Princess 
pattern, with some little improvement, perhaps, of n^y own. 
Such is the quaker-like monotony of dress nowadays, that 
a man of real t^ste and refinement can only evince his su- 
periority to the million by some minute trail of elegance to 
his appoiotnrients. 



A letter from Mr. Poole apprises me that he has itill 
been unable to find my father's will, though his searcJt has 
been unremitting, and he therefore suspects it must be 
locked up somewhere at Beddrngton Park. Acting upon 
this suggestion, I, opened the black cabinet in the breakfast- 
parlor, where I found the large tin box, which be occasioa- 



tras MONEY£B UAH. 175 

ircmght down from the eity, dod carried back with him 
i morning. Disappointed as I was at not discovering 
irill within it, I was delighted at the number of re- 
! that it contained for stocks of every description — 
, South Sea, Navy 5 per cents, Long Annuities, Con- 
and Reduced— some bekinging to trust accounts, but 
reater part in his own name, and many of remote 
, so that a pleasant process of aceumukition must have 
!going on for ofiay yeftra past, 
tese are glorious anticipations, and more remain t>e- 
for there Biust be an immense capital embarked in 
Qsiness* Remote as is the date of its occurrence, I 
not forgotten my boyish visit to the strong room with 
rthe clenrk, and the golden predictions, now about to 
re their full accomplishment, to which I then listened 
aach a hungry ear. When last I saw him, the old 
r seemed to be quite worn out ; from his advanced 
be cannot live long ^ and I think, therefore, I shall 
on him off, for I always liked him, and it will tfe poli- 
; signalize my debt/U in business by an act of generos- 
It will render the other clerks more attentive to their 
B. That I shall continue in the business, however, 
s very problematical, opposed as it will be to all my 
3 and tastes. Many are the capitalists who would 
1y come/orward to boy it. In that case, I shall pur- 
^a handsome mansion at the West End, as near as 
m will allow to the House of Commons, of which 1 
)8e being an asmduous attendant. Honorable as it is, 
Bee under government has its duties and responsibili- 
some post or place may perhaps be offered to n>e 
ss I am sadly diseppc^nted as to the effects of my ora- 
\l powers), but I think>l shall prefer liberty and inde- 
ence to official distinctions of an/ sort. 



lank Heaven ! the funeral is over. It was a tiresome 
Yony, several of the aldermen and a few old friends 
g requested permission to attend, sa that I shall have 
tty bill for scarfs and hatbands. In these lugubrious 
meries andiparaphernalia of woe,the actors exhibit all the 
•y without any of the fun of a pantomine. Did they 



i 



176 TBB MONEYED MAN. 

imagine that the deceased was kninortal ? If not, why 
should tb^y pretend to deplore his departure ? Does death 
come so very prematurely at the age of threescore and teo, 
or upwards 1 The " dear deceased" is always represented 
by the women, upon these occasions,^ as having gone to 
heaven. A strange subject for regret and tears. Oh ! bat 
they weep for their own sad and irreparable loss! Then 
their grief at besi is purely selfish. Besides, there are ma- 
ny inconsolable widows who have fouad the loss of a hus- 
band by no means irreparable. 

Of all farces a modern funeral is unquestionably the 
most farcical. With what a tender soiemntty did the lack- 
adaisical undertaker gently draw on my black gloves 1— 
with what a mysterious look and stealthy tread did bis 
assistant purloin my hat, and restore it to its place wfaen its 
silken band had been duly adjusted ! — with what a profound 
sympathy and considerate softness was the sable scarf insin- 
uated upon my shoulder ! — amid what grave silence, and 
with what woe-begooe boks, were^ the awkward squad of 
mourners marshalled into their places by the black corporal, 
before we commenced our slow march to thechurch-yard! 
If this outward show were the type of an inward grief, ooe 
might respect it ; but it is sheer hypocrisy and pageantry, 
both of which I despise. 

In these matters the ancients were much ^iser. Look- 
ing upon the death of an individual as a part of the life 
of the world, they surrounded it with all sorts of cheerful 
and reconciling associations. Every burial-ground was pro- 
vided with a pleasant triclinium, wherein the funeral sup- 
per was prepared, its walls being decorated with paintings 
emblematic of the soul's transition into a higher and happier 
state of existence, while the guests, after due offering of 
propitiatory sacrifice, congratulated each other and the 
shade of the deceased on his deliverance from worldly cares, 
and his happy induction into the joys of £lysium. Surely 
this is the more rational raiode of contemplating death. 
We are prohibited, of course, by our religion, from adopt- 
ing any of the rites of paganism ; but I am not aware that 
Christianity enjoins either '< the inky cloak and windy sus- 
piration of forced breath," or the fantastic mummery which 
I have been reprobating. 



\ 



TUX wmwsfvsf uxn. 177 

However, rU is over! My father is deod.aad baried. 
Peace to his memory ! If I have alluded to him in any on* 
filial or disrespectful tone, I am sorry for it ; but I will not 
affect a woe that I do not feel. In other respects I scarce- 
ly, yet koow my feelings. My mind is in a tumult^ — a 
cb4<w : it seetns as if I had but two ideas — one that my fa- 
ther is dead, the other that I have succeeded toall his wealth, 
and am only now beginning to live. 



CHAPTER XV. 

1798 CONTINUED. 

GuACious Heaven! Where "am I! what dreadful ca- 
faimtty has befallen me 1 Stunned, bewildered, stupified, I 
know that a tei'rible catastrophe has happened— 'that I have 
been its victim, that 1 am crushed to the very earth ; yet ' 
my brain is so confused, my ideas so wandering, every 
thiog so chaotic, that, while I retain a sense of having been 
overwhelmed by some unutterable misery, I cannot dis- 
linetly recall its nature. Can it be possible that I 
have been attacked by sudden madness, from which I have 
only partially recovered, my mind being left in an interme- 
dialastaie between samty and delirium ? I can write collect- 
edly ; I cao throw my thoughts forward ; I can recognize 
persons, places, things ; but when I endeavor to recall the 
events of the last two or ihree days, my recollection fails 
me — a cloud, a fog, a mystery, envelops me ; I see nothing 
dearly, and yet I feelconscious that my vision has been re- 
cently scared bysome appalling, some soul-withering spectre. 
Were it poss^le to undergo a temporary annihilation and 
still to survke — ^to have been scathed and seared by some 
ligbtning blast of misfortune so benumbing;, so withering, 
that, while I am mentally blinded, I can yet - 

Yes, yea! one thing is manifest — ^I have drained some 
cop of misery until my fecolties are drunken — I am snriit- 
ten with that worst species of fataity wherein the mind 



i 



176 THE MOMSTBD ICAV. 

8iiU retaini a dim conscioasnegs of its owa hamiliattDg im- ig 
becility. mi 



.1 



Ha ! my brain is on fire — my head reeb-^Away ! b^ 
gone ! araunt ! thou hideous and abhorred mgbtmara \ 
Off^ off, accursed incubus ! away, thou lying vision, thoa 
monstrous impossibility, thou spectral falsehood 1 Shake 
not thy gory locks at me, thou gorgon ! — ^Phantom ! shadow ! 
grinning devil of the air ! I can gaze upon thy ghastlioesi 
without flinching. I am neither to be fooled nor frightened 
by the phantasmagoric coinage of mine own bewildered 
brain. '^ Why so ! — being gone, I am a man again.'' — Go! 
and delude some other with thy frantic forgeries. Me yoa 
cannot hoodwink — me you cannot cheat. I a bankrupt! 
1 a ruined beggar ! I, Mark Uawkwood, the only son and 
heir of the wealihy Alderman Hawkwood — 1, a partner in 
the great city banking-house, a houseless, penniless pauper! 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! Maugh at the very thought — I dash it away 
from me with bitter mockery — I look down, I trample, I 
stamp upon it with 'a smile of contemptuous and derisite 
insult. 



Many days have elapsed since I have had th6<:eorageto 
to take up my journal, and O heavens f what days4>f mUKtj 
have they been ! I could not have touched it sooner, fori 
fear my wits have been wandering, but I am now compara- 
tively tranquil, tasting the grim calmness of despair, efes 
as the condemned criminal, who knows the worst, resigas 
himself to his dark cell, and awaits bis horrible fate .with t 
sullen sternness. 

Hateful, revolting, humiliating is the task, but I wiH make 
a record of the recent occurrences while I can yet recollect 
them, not feeling by any means certaiti that my preseat 
composure, if such it can be <:alled, will be permanent. 
When the stunning effects of this dreadful blow shati hatre 
passed away, I may relapse into confusion and bewilder- 
ment, perhaps be assailed by some violent eonvnlsioo. 
What is to become of me, either as to body or to mind, I 
know not, care not. I am a lost man. Life is now batefal 



to me — lo notMng can I look ibrward, either wif h hope or 
with desire, but to death. Quickly, quickly, may it come ! 
S»id I that I coukl recolleot the late frightful events ? 
Not altogether, for the day or two that followed my last de- 
parture from Beddington Park seem to be blotted from my 
mmiory,a8 rf the subsequent mental concussion had acted 
r^rospeGtively opoD my facohies, partially obliterating the 
previous hoonL - - 

But to my statement. — I was at the cottage at Epsom, ' 
when mf midnight slumbers were abruptly broken by a 
^oient fin^iig at the garden-gate, accompanied by loud 
sbottls, ai»d I bad scarcely started up in my bed ere my 
valet hurried into my room, telling me that a gentleman of 
tbe Dame of Poole, who had arrived Iti a post-chaise and 
four, dcisired to see me immediately upon business of the 
utmost importance. 

. "What!" said I, adverting to the recent and somewhat 
MOftiar irrsption of Amos flarmer, <' another messenger 
come to enrich^-Bie with hia giad — I mean his sorrowful ti- 
diags? Why, my good Harrison I I have no more fa- 
tfaeiatolose. Isita smug-looking gentleman with a brown 
face?— Ay~tny worthy partner, no doubt. What can 
the blockhead mean by this unseemly intrusion ? Light 
the candles^n the parlor-^I will be down dh'ectli;!." 
. Hai^y arraying myself,! descended to my visitant, whose 
kaggmrd and eseited looks, aggravating hrs natural ugliness, 
instantly proclaimed that he came upon no pleadant errand, 
.f^ In Heaven's name, sir,^' he ejaculated, his usually ob- 
sgquious tone being exchanged for one of angry expostula- 
tion, ^* in Heaven^s name, sir, why have you hidden your* 
self; why have you concealed your address at a moment of 
sscli dreadful anxiety as this ? No one, either in London 
or at Beddington Park, could tell me where to find you.'' 
. ^^Harmer could have enlightened your ignorance, had 
y0fi inquiltd among the clerks." 

.^ U Haraier is absent ; he has been laid up for several days 
with severe iUness«^and I am not much better ; no won- 
der — 3 am harassed to death — ^torn to pieces-— not a wink 
of aleep^these two nighta." 
><And so^aa lam your partner, I am to share yoor 



j80 THC ummtwB MAst. ^ 

sleefrfetintfM on the third mgbi. U that the purpaie df 
your visit ?" 

" No, sir ; as I am yoor partner, I eeme to tell you, «)i«t 
you would have known sooner, eould I have found ymi 
out, that you are, like myself, a rumed naan — thai the nttt 
of Hawkwood, Poole, ai^ Hawkwood, is insolvent— 4hat 
there has been a run upon the house for several days — ^that 
we can face it no longer — that we roust stop peynMiit to* 
' morrow morning 1" 

<'If you are drunk, Mr. Poole, I must request you to 
vent your ravings elsewhere ; if you mte jesting, %iiow aie 
to tell you that your jokes are not less iH-timed tbao koper- 
tinenl.'' 

'^ Orunk, sir, drunk ! it ia you who have been too long 
intoxicated, and high time is it that "you should beeoane 
sober. Your father's sudden death occasioned deilt ruoiun 
to t>e circulated' — it was whispered that he had recently 
incurred heavy losses by large qseculalions-^that yo^i^ 
nay, sir, don't start ; yes, that you, «r, yoir, had been^ t 
frequenter of gaming-houses and the turf — ^an associateaf 
blacklegs, by whom you had been extensively pillaged—* 
people's minds misgave tbem^-*^ run upon the bank eom* 
menced on the very day of the funeral*-^ has been unta* 
termittingr ever since— every thing convertible has beso 
turned into banknotes — ^we locked up thia night with oiily 
a few hundred pounds — to-morrow niorning wie amat stop 
payment !" 

Convinced as I now was by my partner's tooic end inan« 
ner that he was perfectly sotier and. in earnest, I was jfet 
unable thoroughly to comprehend bis appatMog tilings. 

'< Any bonk," said I, ^ when exposed to a sudden rdsb 
of this nature, may be compelled for the momenl'-to sas* 
pend its payments, as we have teeentLy witnessed m the 
case of the Bank of England ; but this does not deatfoy its 
property, does not affect its uttimate eoHdity. What has 
become of all the various and large amounts of atook^and- 
ing in my fieither's name ? Does any teeteieal diffieolty, 
consecpient upon his death, prevent Hieir sale ?^ 

<< Yes ; the worst of all difficulti^, their non-existence," 
was the abrupt and surly reply; << Y<mr fiitber held no 



% 



THC MONITED MA9. 181 

stock ; he has deceived me, you, himself, every body ; he 
has died insolvent — I tell you insolvent." 

^' Absurd ! impossible ! you must be laboring under some 
strange delusion, for, in searching for the will at Bedding- 
ton, I found in his large tin box a profusion of stock re- 
ceipts of all sorts." 

" AH has since disappeared — all is gone ! Whatever he 
might have once possessed, he has died a beggar, of 
which no one has a greater right to complain than myself. 
Yes, sir, his conduct to me has been most scandalous, most 
perfidious. Engage ia immense speculations upon his 
own separate account, he has paid the frightful losses thus 
incurred out of the partnership funds, artfully concealing 
their amount by excluding me from all participation in the 
management of the cash, and by other trickaries. On the 
rupture of Lord Malmesbufy's negociations for peace, on 
the Irish Rebellion, on the Bank suspension, he operated 
wildly, desperately in the funds, and was obliged to pay 
enormous sums to bis broker, for, by some strange fatal- 
ity, be seems ta have been always wrong. Not content 
with^ this wholesale gambling, he speculated in various arti- 
cles of merchandize, of which the results were equally 
dkastrous] so that for years past he has been in an insol- 
vent state, and has yet lived on in the same expensive 
style, defrauding me, and cfaeatmg the whole world." 

<< Upon what authority, sir,L do you presume to apply 
these injurious terms to my late father ? Recollect that you 
, are speaking to his son, to one who will not suffer his me- 
mory to be aspersed with impunity." 

^* I s|^eak on the authority of his own handwriting in his 
own private ledger, which I have discovered within these 
few hours, which I had never seen before, and which sug- 
gests more than I dare tell you, so you had better return 
with me to London, and examine it yourself. This was one 
of the objects of my visit." 

" Mr, roole I Mr. Poole ! depend on it you are blinded 
by some strange, some fatal misapprehension, and therefore 
is it that I am most anxious to avoid the irrevocable dis- 

Si;race of suspending our payments to-morrow, though I 
eel quite confident that we should soon be enabled to re- 

TOL. !• 16 



f 



183 Tii£ Konrco man. 

same them. What exertioas have you made to arert this 
dire calamity ?" 

^' I have done every thing in my power. More I could 
not have accomplished, even had 1 been honored with the 
valuable assistance of my surviving partner." 

A sarcastic sneer, which was not less new than ofiensive, 
accompanied the utterance of these words; but I was too 
much agitated to resent \U 

<< The bankers of London, as you arc doubtless aware, 
are ever anxious to prevent the stoppage of any of their 
brotherhood, because it generates a distruist which maj 
extend to the whole fraternity. They were called togeth- 
er this afternoon— our affairs were submitted to them — 
they decided that our's was a hopeless case — that do assis- 
tance which they might render could be permanently use- 
ful, and they unanimously recommended that we should 
stop payment to-morrow morning. There, sir, now you 
know to what extent I am drunk, and to what extent t am 
jesting. It's no jesting matter to me, I can tell you.'' 

Aghast and astounded as I was, a secret hope, a lurking 
incredulity, a stubborn conviction that there must be some 
enormous error in the statement I had Just heard, still 
buoyed me up, and inspired me with a degree of firmness. 
To me, however, suspense has always been more anqoyiog 
than the noost dreadful certainty. The agony of doubt up- 
on a question that involved the whole future happiness of 
my life was more than I could endure, and, in the resolu- 
tion to end it as quickly as possible, I started from mj 
chair, exclaiming : 

*' Coqfie, sir, let us be ^one ; I will accompany you this 
very instant; I will examme this private ledffer,and I shall 
then be enabled to judge for myself. Nothing but oceu- 
lar demonstration will ever satisfy me that my father's im- 
mense wealth can have been thus mysteriously dissipated." 

" 'Tis for this very purpose, I repeat, that I have sought 
you out. The post-chaise is waiting ; we can be at the 
banking-bouse in an hour.'' 

Heavens ! what an hour ! what a revolting, what a dis- 
gusting journey ! What a soul-sickening contrast for one 
just awakened from golden dreams of the brightest ambi- 



■> 



THE HONETED MAK. 183 

tion, the most rapturous, the most unbounded felicHy, to 
be thus suddenly plunged into the double darkness of deep 
night and anticipated bankruptcy. 

That my companion fully beliered the dismal tidings he 
bad^brought was manifest from the insolent way in which 
he spoke of my late father, as well as from his unceremo* 
nious demeanor towards myself, for this sordid, this ab- 
ject, crawling, gold-worshipper would have bitten off his 
tongue rather than indulge in sudi reflections, had he 
thought that his late partner had bequeathed riches, or that 
his present partner had succeeded to them. Here is a pre- 
cious specimen, thought I, of what I am to expect from the 
world, if I am to sue for its tender mercies in forma pau- 
peris. Once or twice I was tempted to chastise the vulgar 
vituperator, but my heart sank within me, and I cowered 
into the corner of the chaise, feeling like a poltroon, because 
I feared that I was poor. 

Rapidly as we drove, my ideas travelled so much more 
fleetly, that I thought we should never have arrived. At 
length, however,»we reached the bankmg-house ; the door 
was opened by the old porter, who slept in the hall, when 
Mr. Poole, lighting two of the large office candles, mar- 
shalled me upstairs to my father's counting-house, unlock- 
ed the desk, drew out the private ledger, and opening it at 
a particular page, placed it in my hands, pointing silently 
but significantly to its contents. 

In the stiff, formal, legible characters of my father was 
written an account current, apparently drawn up with a 
minute accuracy, setting forth on one side all his various 
losses and pending liabilities ; on the other enumerating his 
assets, which, after including every other description of pro- 
perty, and a trifling amount of East India stock, left a 
heavy balance against himself. In short, his debts exceed- 
ed his means to the amount of several thousand pounds. 

*^ Read the pencil memorandum at the foot of the ac- 
count," croaked Mr. Poole, with a repeated and energetic 
pointing of the finger. It was in the same well-known 
handwriting, and to the following fearful purport. 

" J die as i have lived— the first banker of the city of 
London, I have made no wiUffor I have nothing to 
leave." 



184 THE HOUtSJ) 






All doubt as to oiy utter ruin, aud the total dowofail of 
our family, was now removed for ever. The accursed book 
dropped from my hand, and I fell back in the chair with a 
sickening prostration of soul, such as I had. never before ex- 
perienced. Had I been stricken with a thunderbolt, I could 
hardly have felt more helpless and horrified. In the first 
hurried perusal of this^ woe-fraught memorandum, I had 
not noticed the appalling deduction that might be drawn 
from it, an oversight to which my partner quickly called my 
attention. 

<' Do you observe, sir," he hissed close to my ear, as if 
shrinking from the sound of his own suspicions, even in the 
dead silence of night, ''do you observe that, when your fa- 
ther made this entry, written in his usual firm hand, be 
must have contemplated his own immediate death ?" 

I made no reply, for, when I recalled the mysterious sud- 
denness of his decease, a frightful misgiving flashed acros$ 
my brain. 

'' The private ledger/' pursued the grim raven at my ear, 
'' was so carefully concealed, that I only discovered it a few 
hours ago. I have already apprised you that it suggested 
more than I dared to tell you; but it is right that you 
should know the whole truth, terrible as it may be, in or- 
der that you may draw your own inferences. This, ar, is 
what I found beneath the private ledger." 

So saying he placed in my hand an empty phial, labelled 
with the words, ''Laudanum — Poison." 

Dreadful as it was, the conviction that my father's death 
had been suicidical restored my prostrate faculties, for I 
foresaw that an additional disgrace would attach to our 
name and family should these suspicious circumstances he- 
come publicly known, and I felt the necessity of instantly 
suppressing and crushing, since I could not refute them. 

" You may be mistaken, sir," said I, '^ in the dark and 
sinister impressions which you seem to have formed, and I 
trust you have not imparted them to others." 

" Not to a living soul," was the reply, 

" It is well, sir, and it will be at your own peril if you 
give utterance hereafter to any such insinuations, for thus 
do I destroy the only evidence that can lend them a g^d- 
ow of support." 



THE MONEYKD Mill* 185 

With these words I stirred up the smoaidering ashes of 
the fire, and, thrusting the phial into the midst of them, it 
presently flew to pieces with a sharp cracking noise, after 
which I completely expunged the pencil memorandum with 
a piece of rubber. 

" Now, sir," 1 resumed, " there is no earthly evidence of 
the crime which you would insinuate against my late fa- 
ther ; none but ourselves are justified in harboring any sus- 
picions as to his death. My lips will be sealed for my own 
sake and that of our family ; if, therefore, a whisper of the 
sort transpires, I shall know to whom it will be attributa- 
ble, and thai man L shall bold strictly accountable, even 
with his life, for a hint or an inuendo on this most painful 
subject.'^ 

^^ Upon my word, sir,'' exclaimed my irritated partner, 
bristling up and assuming, a swaggering tone^ ^' you seek 
Co carry it oflf. with a high hand. It is not enough to be 
ruined by the knavery of your father, but am I to be brow- 
beaten by you — ^by you, sir, whose wanton extravagance 
and known connection with sharpers and gamblers have 
contributed not a little, as I verily believe^ to the run upon 
the house ?" 

This insult was the more stinging and intolerable because 
my own self*reproaches told me that it might very possi- 
bly be true. Irritated almost to madness by the sense of 
my miserable, my humiliating, my irrecoverable down- 
fall and ruin, I was delighted to find an object upon whom 
I could wreak my maddened anger, and, in one of those 
ancontrollable bursts of passion which had made me fell 
poor Ned Simmons to the earth, I seized a candlestick, and 
hurled it at the head of my astonished partner, accompany- 
ing the action with such frantic gestures, and such a tor- 
rent of execrations, that he made a rapid escape from the 
room, fortunately without injury. 

God help me! I believe I was mad for the moment, 
and that I should have foHowed up my attack to some des- 
perate result, had he not hurried from the apartment. 
Most thankful am I that he withdrew himself from my fu- 
ry. These are the unbridled paroxysms of rage that make j 
men murderers, even without enmity or premeditation. 1 
Raving like a maniac, I rushed out of the house. ' 



16* 



4 



186 '^UZ ]M>NETED HAH. 

How I got thither I know not, but I found myself io 
Gracecburch Street, now solitary, dark and silent, for the 
few night^wanderers had been driven from the streets by the 
rain ; the exhausted lamps had mostly given op the ghost, 
while here and there a drowsy watchman, roused by my faur^ 
ried footfall, lifted the aged head that was nodding over the 
front of his box, and muttered in a hoarse, feeble voice, 
"Past three o'clock." 

Even in this busy thoroughfare, so thronged «nd so noisy 
by day, there was a momentary hush, a deep serenity 
around and above, but, alas ! not within me, for my bosom 
was a tumultuous arena of all the angry passionsv My 
assault upon Mr. Poole had only acted as a stimulant to 
my desperation ; boiling with hatred of myself and of all 
iQankind, I still longed for some victim whom I might sac- 
rifice to my ungovernable fury ; but I glared in vain to the 
right and to the left, in search of some houseless wretch 
with whom I migtit pick a quarrel, and provoke him to 
mortal combat. 

In this excited, this half-frantic mood, I reached the 
middle of London Bridge, when the rushing noise of the 
waters beneath, or rather the insidious whispers of the 
devil, suggested to me a horrible and yet a tempting thought. 
In the the triumph and drunkenness of my supposed ac- 
cession to enormous wealth I had recently decided that 
my life, as to its real powers and pleasures, was only about 
to commence. I now felt, and oh ! with what a wither- 
ing desolation of soul, that my vital course was run, as 
to all prospects of enjoyment, and that I had nothing to 
expect for the rest of my miserable days but a ceaseless, 
a hopeless, a heart-crushing struggle with poverty, hu- 
miliation, contempt, trials, disappointments, and miseries 
of all sorts. A single leap, a momentary .splash, a con- 
vulsive grasp or two, would save me from all this life-long 
wretchedness. Burning as I was with the fever of 
mental excitement, there was something soothing in the 
thought of an emersion in the cool waters, whose lulling 
echoes seemed to invite me to their gentle bosom. And 
oh I how delightful would it be thus to escape from the 
sarcastic leer, or the chuckling grin of my exulting ene- 



tnt MONEtfiD BtAN. . 187 

mies, aod the covert satisfactioa of my holbw friends, til- 
concealed beneath the flimsy mask of pity ; to giye the 
world the slip just as its ruin-scentiag and beggar-hunting 
hoands were about to open upon md in full cry ; to ex« 
cimnge the distractions of sociat war and the fierce bread*' 
fight of ctesiiiutionr for peace and oblivion ! 

Uacer^am and capricious wretches that we are ! Upon 
what trifling, what momentary impulses does our fate de- 
pend! I had grasped the lamp-post with my left hand — 
my knee was on the balustrade — ^in another instant I should 
have climbed the parapet, and, perhaps, have plunged into 
the waves beneath, when a forlorn, rain-drenched female 
erawled up to mre, and, in a piteous voice, implored charity. 
Charity from me ! Was there, then, a still more miserable, 
more abject pauper than myself? This question occasion- 
ed a sudden revulsion in my mind, which was rendered 
more signal Bud electrical, when, by the flickering light of 
tbe hmp, I obtained a glimpse of her features. Faded and 
haggard as they were, they still retained sufficient beauty 
to remind me of Augusta Maynard, to whom, most unac-, 
countably, my thoughts had hardly once reverted, for sev- 
eral days past. 

If I am not mistaken, I left Beddington Park with the in- 
tention of visiting her. How or why I betook myself «to 
the cottage, I know not. That period, I repeat, is ex- 
panged from my memory. The recollection of Augusta, 
thus accidentally conjured up^ changed the whole cur- 
rent of my ideas. «* True, true," I muttered to my* 
self, as I stood musing in the rain ; ''I may still marry 
Augusta, I may still live handsomely upon her present for- 
tune; I may be wealthy When old Maynard dies — and he 
is gouty, and the gout killed his father I He does not look 
as if he could live long. I wish he were dead !" 

In the intense selfishness generated by the loss of my 
own expected fortune, I felt as if I could have killed old 
Maynard, or any one else, if I could thus become suddenly 
rioh. So stood I for some minutes, chewing the mingled 
cud of golden and of desperate thoughts, and totally re- 
gardless of the wretched woman still whining by my side ; 
when the recollection that in my present altered circumstan* 



I 



188 THE MONfiTEO MAK. 

cei old Maynard would, probably, prohibit .his daoghter's 
marriagei and thus aggreTate my subsequent struggles with 
poYerty and contempt, again harrowed my soul with ail the 
rancor of disappointaaent, ail the blackness of despair. 
Once more I rushed forward as if pursued by a whole host 
of enemies ; an impression so strongly fixed upon my dis- 
ordered mind, that, on reaching ihe Surrey side of the 
bridge, I repeatedly ejaculated, '* Thank God, I am out of 
the city !" 

But this was not enough ; I must be out of London, oat 
of reach, out of sight, out of hearing of the hubbub and 
the consternation that would be excited by the stoppage of 
the coming morning. Whither should I flee ? what sboaM 
I do ? trhtre^ I knew not, but I must hide my head io 
some impenetrable fastness of the country. 

With this intention I continued to run forward till I reach* 
ed an Inn-yard, in the Borough, when I seised the beli, 
ringing it incessantly, till a half-dressed ostler answered the 
alarum. 

<< A chaise ! and directly, instantly !" I exclaimed, at the 
same time putting half-a-crown into hia hand^ a dotieeiff 
which imparted a wonderful alacrity to his movements^ 
<< Gallop, gallop the whole way !" said I to the boy, as I 
juj^j)ed into the chaise, " and I will pay you double." 

*** Where am I to drive to, sir ?" 

This question caused an embarrassing pause, for I had 
nonspecific locality in view, but as it occurred to me that I 
ought to communicate to my mother and Edith the dismal 
tidings I had learnt, I at length blurted out the word — 
"Croydon!" 

Thinking he must give double speed for his double pay, 
the driver galloped the whole way ; a reckless rushing 
through the gloom of night, which, however it might seero 
to be in unison with my feelings, especially as it favored 
the notion of escape from some impending doom, rather in- 
creased than allayed the dizziness and pertubation of my 
mind. My head in a vortext, all my faculties in a whirl, 
the past and present were confused together, formings 
jumble of incalculable wealth, the squalor of a debtors' jail, 
parliamentary honors, a bankruptcy, Bacchanalian revels. 



TH)B UQNETlfiD MAN. 189 

a marriage with the rich and stately Augusts, accompani- 
ed with << tipsy dance and jollity" — the funeral of my fa- 
ther, a passionate quarrel with my surviving partner, and 
an ignominious i]ight from a whole host of in^riated credit- 
ors. 

Nq wonder that in this mood my previous intention of 
going to Beddington Park never recurred to me. After 
paying the postillion, I hurried throuffh the sleeping town 
of Croydon, shrinking from its dim lamps as if they were 
suspicious eyes peering at noe ; and, skirring along the de- 
serted road, I plunged down the first dark opening that 
presented itself, which proved to be a cross-road leading 
through a thick copse, intersected by winding footpaths. 
Into the darkest of these I struck, fighting my way with 
the tangled underwood and the boughs and brambles of 
taller growih, in the exuhing thought that I was thus beat- 
ing aside and trampling down all my worldly enemies. 
Invigorated by this delusion with a preternatural energy, I 
felt no fatigue, notwithstanding the violence of my exer- 
tions, and continued wrestling on through the thicket, al« 
though the gradually increasing light of day might have 
shown me the real nature of the struggle in which I was 
engaged. 

Drenched with the profuse dew-drops I had showered 
down, and panting with mingled rage and exertion, I 
emerged at length from the dim covert, and found myself 
standing, in the broad tight of day, on the outward verge 
of a wooded knoll, overlooking a lovely valley, emblazed 
with the full radiance of a sunny morning, ^ever, no 
never, shall I forget the sensations that suddenly over- 
whelmed me at the sight of that beautiful, that majestic, 
that sublime st>ectacle, on which, as I .continued to gaze, 
transfixed with admiration, the throbbingsof my heart grad^ 
ttally subsided, the agitation and anger of my mind were ap- 
peased, apd the gentleness and serenity of the surrounding 
scene were slowly traqsfused into my bosom, until, in the 
rfcoil of my feelings, my whole frame became penetrated 
by a thrill of ecstasy. 

Triumphant in all his glory and magnificence, the sun 
had just arisen from the gloriQps crest of an opposite billi 



190 THE MONEYED MAN. 

heralded by clouds of every gorgeous and tender hue, the 
winged messengers of light, which, as they were wafted 
up the sky by a fresh breeze, to the accompaniment 
of the rustling wood, seemed to be sounding their glad 
clarions to announce the advent of the god of day. A flood 
of rosy light, irradiating the valley before rae, sparkled 
here and there upon the surface of a stream, meandering 
through its clumps and bushes, while its extremities were 
still dim and grey with receding flakes of vapor. A per- 
fumed, crisp, and bracing air fanned my temples, the birds 
were carrolling their matin song, sheep were bleating 
in the dewy pasture, cheerful cries and chirpings echoed 
from the turf beneath, the leaves that danced in the air 
above seemed to be clapping their myriad hands in joy 
and acclamation ; all was brightness and rapture, as if hea- 
ven and earth were celebrating their hymeneals amid uni- 
versal smiles and love. 

Part of the soothing and magical eflfect thus produced 
upon my mind was perhaps attributable to the total ab- 
sence of man — not a single fellow- creature was to be seen 
— I stood alone in my deep and holy communion with na- 
ture. Part might have been occasioned by the contrast of 
past and present experiences, for so somnolent and incuri- 
ous have been the habits of my life that I had never before 
witnessed a sunrise in the country — and Qh ! what a pro- 
fanation of the term to talk of |a sunrise in London ! — ^Re- 
turning from my balls and Bacchanalian orgies, amid the 
bad odors of expiring lamps and matin scavengers, I have 
occasionally seen the morning beams, after they had oozed 
and struggled through the dense atmosphere, throw a sick- 
ly gleam upon pale and jaded revellers like myself — upon 
the revolting victims of vice, skulking to their haunts from 
the dim eye of day — upon the wan and haggard sons of 
toil, hurrying to their tasks — upon suffering animals goad- 
ed on by still more brutal and more [wretched beings than 
themselves — such objects had I seen in the faint and sick- 
ly glimmer of a London sunrise ; but the hideousness of 
that ghastly spectacle might rather be deemed the painftti 
death of night than the joyous birth of day — rather a spec- 
tral phantasmagoria than the heaven-lighted revelation of 
a living scene« 




THE MONEYED MAN. 191 

This distasteftjl recollection tended, doubtless, to en- 
hance my enjoyment, as I stood gazing in a itpt entrance- 
ment upon the pageant outspread before me, indulging, af- 
ter the first burst of admiration, in reflections scarcely less 
gratifying, from their nature and their novelty, than the 
beauty and the grandeur of the prospect by which they had 
been suggested. 

<< So then," I ejaculated, '< there are natural and simple 
pleasures, of whose existence I had no previous knowledge ; 
pleasures which a pauper may command, and which are far 
more exquisite than all the sensual indulgences of the weal- 
thiest voluptuary. No sooner am I shut out from one sphere 
of enjoyment than another is gratuitously revealed to me. 
W'ealth I rank ! honors ! I can dispense with your services. 
I resign ye without a sigh. I despise your poor attractions. 
I have tried and found ye wanting. To the fickle winds^ 
and to the treacherous waves, do I gladly and eternally re- 
sign ye. Never, never did ye waft to my bosom the peace 
that soothes it now.'^ 

What must have been the capricious and disordered state 
of my mind, when I could feel and reason thus, only a few 
hours after I had been meditating suicide ! That my efiu- 
sion had not been prompted by a feeling of triumph at the 
unexpected discovery of a new and costless pleasure, rather 
than by a calm sense of resignation, I will not now main« 
tain ; but it imparted a genuine consolation at the moment, 
and I know not how long I might have remained on the 
same spot, gazing and musing, had not m;^ reveries 
been broken by the approach of a shepherd with a boy 
and dog. Anxiety to avoid the sight of my fellow-crea- 
tures again predominated over every other thought, but with 
much less wildness and intensity. The spell, the enchant- 
ment I have described were broken, but their tranquillizing 
effects had not passed away. Oil had been poured upon the 
stormy surges of my mind, smoothing and softening, though 
not entirely stilling, their agitation. 

I recognized the spot where I had been thus electrifiedi 
for I had often crossed the valley with my gun ; the recent 
occurrences, although they gradually rose up before me 
vivid and distinct; excited less consternation and horror; 



f 



1^2 TBC MONEYED M1N< 

I thought of my mother and sister ; and I made my Way 
towards Beddington Park^ by lanes and solitary fields, and 
obscure footpaths, miserably, unutterably, sad and heavy, 
but neither with a raging heart nor a maddened intellect. 



CHAPTER XVI. 

1798 CONTINUED. 

Though sunny, the autumnal morning was cool aod 
buoyant, and the lucid atmosphere, purified by the late 
rains, gave distinctness of outline and brightness of color to 
every object around me ; yet, as I approached the park, 
methought it had never assumed so sombre and forbidding 
an aspect. My recent ecstasy had totally vanished, as well 
as the charm that upon my previous visit had lighted up 
Beddington with a sunshine of its own ; and in its stead a 
visionary cloud now hung upon the scene, investing it with 
gloom, as with a pall. It was no longer mine ! The wide 
domain, the swelling knolls, plumed by those noble trees; 
the deer, the horses, the cattle, the carriages, all the " pride, 
pomp, and circumstance*' that would have conferred a 
dignity upon wealth, now served only to mock and insult 
my poverty. The very wind seemed to hoot, and the trees 
to point their fingers at me. The old clock in the belfry 
that surmounted the stables struck as I reached the house. 
Its melancholy vibrations added to my deep despondency. 
It was the bell tolling for my buried hopes ; it was the fa- 
neral of my heart and of my fortunes, for it was the pre- 
cise hour when our banking-house would be opened, and 
our stoppage announced to the world ! 

When roused from my sleep by the rough summons of 
Mr. Poole, I had dressed myself with a haste and disorder 
which subsequent events^ had not tended to rectify. Soak- 
ed with rain, bespattered with mud, my face and hands 
torn with the briars through which I had scrambled, my 



THE ICONnSD MAN. 193 

features wild and haggard with agony and fa^tte, I stole 
ooiaeleraly into the house, carefully avoiding ihe servants; 
and, making my way into the room where my mother and 
Edith were seated at breakfast, I was myself startled at the 
load scream of terror that burst from the former, who did 
not immediately recognize me, and who, as I afterwards 
learnt, imagined that a second gang of robbers had come 
to demand her diamonds. 

<< Mark ! dearest Mark ! is it you ?" cried Edith, running 
up and embracing me. <^ Gracious Heaven ! how ill you 
look ! what is the matter ? — what has happened ? You are 
bartj you are wounded — let me fly. for assistance." 

" Why, it i^ Mark, 1 do declare," exclaimed my mother, 
staring at me with utter amazement. <^ How could you 
think of frightening, me so, when you know how nervous I 
have been ever since that horrid affair of the thieves ? My 
dear child ! yon have had a fall from your horse — ^I am sure 
Jim ha ve^— that horrid Telegraph is such a vicious creature 
— ^I hope you are not much hurt." 

Not sorry to be furnished with an eicuse which would 
spare me much unpleasant explanation, I replied that I 
might t)e scratched and soiled, but that I had not received 
Ihe snmllesl injury; adding that I was not aware of my 
alarming appearance, and that I would now retire to my 
own room to make myself a little more presentable. 

Having changed my clothes, and obliterated, as far as 
fMMsiUe, the external effects of my night adventure, I re- 
turned to the room, and, seating myself between my mo« 
ther and Edith, while I took a hand of each in my own, I 
•Btreated them to summon all their fortitude to their aid, 
as I had intelligence of the most distressing nature to com* 
munieate. 

^ Mercy on us !" qaculated my mother, *' yon are al«> 

Ss frightening me. Your poor father is dead and bu- 
: Vm sure f never can forget it, when I see myself in 
Ibis horrid unbecoming cap : and what can happen worse ? 
is the will found ? have you brought it with you 1 It 
oiq^t to have been communicated to me sooner — much 
8ooner---8tittnge conduct !" 
Not even hinting a suspicion as to the mode of my father's 

VOL. !• 17 




194 TBB MONEYED MAN. 

dealh, I broke to my auditors in a hurried manner, bot 
with as much tenderness as my own agitation would allow, 
the ittsolTent state of our affairs, and the stoppage of the 
banking-house. 

After a moment's aniious gaze at my face, my mother 
laid her hand upon my shoulder, exclaiming in an agitated 

voice :— f 

<< Mark ! my dear Mark ! you know not what you 8ay-<« 
yjour fall has disordered your intellects — yon must go to 
bed directly. Ring the bell, Edith, and desire Creoige to 
ride over instantly to Croydon for Dr. Twyford." 

<* Alas ! mother, I am not mad — I almost wish I were. 
Indeed, indeed, this sad news is all too true. I was in 
hopes that Mr. Poole might have saved me this painfal 
task. He said he had called here yesterday in search of 

me." 

<< He did, but when I learnt that he brought 'no tidings 
of the will, I would not be pestered with him. You know 
how I hate the man." / 

<< I saw him," said Edith, taking her handkerchief from 
her eyes, " and, though he would not declare the purport 
of his hurried visit, I felt assured, from his vehement agita^ 
tion and distress, that some great calamity must hav« over? 
taken him, for hir nature is too stern and rugged to be ea« 
sily moved. I am no longer astonished, Mark, at your 
wild and haggard looks, nor can I for a moment doubt that 
we are all ruined, utterly ruined. Nay, dearest motber, do 
not look so aghast — it is a heavy blow — a terrible dowB- 
fall*«-but we must endeavor to submit to it with fortitude, 
as we may well do, for we are blameless. T^cmk God ! 
it is only a misfortune, not a disgrace." 

^* Not a disgrace !" screamed my mother, now fully be- 
lieving the dismal tale 1 had told her. <* Not a disgrace ! 
•^the girl's a fool, and always was. Why, me must give 
up the park, lay, down our carriages, dismiss- our servantSi 
lose every thing that is worth living for. Horrible 1 Why, 
we shall be looked down upon, and tritapled upon, and 
spit upon, by all the world; and we shall deserve it, for I 
myself hate and despise poor people, and always did." 

^' If you will only endeavor to reconcile yourself to this 



tBE MONfiTEB MAN. 195 

Struggle^ dear mother," 6aid Edith, <^ I am sure that Mark 
and myself will do every thing in our power to comfort and 
support you, and though it must ineyttably be painful at 
first, yet—" 

*< I cannot understand this affair," interposed my mother, 
** it must be all a fable, a dream. What has become of 
all the money? Surely, Mark! you will not deny that 
your father was once wealthy 1" 

A hasty statement of the bad debts^ as well as the vari- 
ous large and unfortunate speculations by which he had 
gradually impoverished himself and his family, only serving 
to excite her indignation while it satisfied her doubts, she 
burst into a philippic against her late husband so violent and 
unmeasured, that I care not to record it, concluding her 
ebullition with a passionate flood of tears. After a short 
pause she started up, eagerly exclaiming, 

^* You do not mean to say that they will take away my 
diamonds ? They shall not. I will never surrender them 
— -never ! I will secrete them instantly — I will hide, them 
in the cellar — I will bury them in the ^rden." 

With which words she rushed from the room in a state 
of tlie greatest excitement and distress. 

With her usual sensible and quiet tact, Edith remarked 
that it would be useless to attempt soothing our parent in 
her present chafing mood, which would soon pass away, 
when she trusted that, by constant and affectionate atten- 
tions on her own part, as well as by an unobtrusive ex- 
aniple of patience and resignation, she might succeed in 
tranquillizing her mind, and reconciling her to the surren- 
der of the diamonds, if required. 

<< At aH events," she continued, ^'I shall dissuade her 
from concealments of any sort ; for, in this sad reverse, it 
is above all things necessary that we should conduct our- 
selves with a sqrupulous honor and integrity. • If, as we 
have just heard, but which I do not by any means admit, 
our downfall will occasion us to lose the respect of others, 
it is the more incumbent upon us to maintain our own re- 
spect. Our first duty is to administer every possible so- 
lace and succor to our poor mother, and what a blessing 
is it that the legacy bequeathed to me by my godfather 



i 



196 TB£ MOMSTCD MlN. 

will enable mf to make our ehaoge of life less revolting to 
her feelings ! This will, at all events, be saved out of the 
wreck, and I will take care that it shall be so applied as to 
render her fall less galling and humiliating." 

Tears were in her eyes as she spoke, and her voice fal* 
tered whenever she made allusion to her mother ; but she 
did not lose her self-fM>sse8sion for a moment, and still len 
her judgment, while advising with me as to the proper steps 
to be adopted in the present emergency. ^< Advising with 
me," did I say ? Alas ! my own mind was too prostrate to 
oflfer any beneficial counsel, but it waanot required ;. $he 
had judgment and sagacity enough without my bewildered 
promptings. 

Pointing out the absolute duty of my being present at 
the banking-house, the pusillanimity of running ^way from 
an ordeal which miMt ultimately be encountered, as well as 
the suspicioips and misconstructions which such a course 
would infallibly entail, she implored me to compose myself, 
if possible, by retiring to bed fur a few htuirs ; to return to 
the city in the evening ; and to attend the meeting of cre- 
ditors which would probably be summoned without delay. 

Alluding next to my conditional marriage engagement, 
she expressed a firm conviction that its eventual collation 
would not only restore me to my proper rank in society, but 
ensure to me a prosperous and a happy life* 

" Nay, nay>" she pursued, endeavoring to smile, " shake 
not your head so despondingly. Remember that faint heart 
never won fair lady. To doubt Augusta's constancy would 
be treason against the whole sex : her lather, as a man of 
strict honor, will never sacrifice bis daughter's happiness oo 
the shrine of avarice or ambition ; so be of good cheer, dear, 
dear Mark ! and let us hope the best. Come, jtm want 
nothing but a few hours' sleep, and you will face yomr dif- 
ficulties without flinching. I know you will." 

Passive rather than acquiescent, I silently suffered her to 
lead me to my room, where she aflTectiooately embraced me, 
whispering in my ear as she went away**-* 

^< 1 know not^ Mark, whether the world will love us less, 
but I do trust and believe that we shall love one another 



tUE HOlVETBi) MAN. 197 

all the more dearly for our losses, and trials, and troubles. 
God bless and comfort you !"^ 

Friendly and judicious counsels, even though recommend- 
ed by tones and looks of the most endearing affection, 
may fall unheeded upon our ear. and heart in the giddy 
heyday of prosperity, but they exercise a double influence 
frhen the bosom is softened by sorrow and misfortune. 
Latterly I have become much attached to £dith, whose 
gratitude, for I am the only one who notices her at all, 
more than reciprocates my regard ; but not until this day 
had I fully appreciated the clearness of head, ay, and the 
warmth of heart, too, which lay concealed beneath all her 
apparant coldness and reserve. One part of her conversa* 
lion, however, did not quite please me. Why does she 
put herself forward by exclaiming, i will do this, and I will 
do that, except to announce that she is now the richest of 
the family, that we are paupers, while she retains unimpair- 
ed her godfather^s legacy ? 

And why, too, should she proclaim her intention of ded- 
icating it to the service of a mother, who has ever treated 
her so contemptuously, if not unkindly, when, if it were 
emipoyed in purchasing me a partnership in some house of 
business (supposing me to be rejected by Apgusta), it 
might enable me to restore the fallen fortunes of the whole 
family ? To be sure, she will live with her mother^ and 
thus get the benefit of it. I hope dear Edith is not becom- 
ing selfish ; but a change of circumstances very often alters 
the character. 

In spite of several hours' refreshing sleep, and the confi- 
dence inspired by a long, affectionate, and invigorating collo- 
quy with my sister, I could not summon courage to return to. 
London until the darkness of night would shroud me from 
observation. My late vain glorious boastings and anticipa- 
tions, the fool's f aradise in which 1 had revelled, the gold- 
en Ignis FatuiJLS which I had been chasing until it had <ie- 
posited me in the slough of Despond, all these rose up be- 
fore my mind's eye, and, in the fear that they might be 
equally visible to others, I dreaded the universal gibe and 
mockery that would haunt my footsteps. Slouching my 
hat over my face, and muffling myself up, I hurried past 

17* 



198 



va% mmwms} foat. 



n 



the lighted ahopt, end eren winced from the b&nfciDg hopi, 
walking at a rapid pace, that I might ensconce mjnetf ai 
soon as powible ia my own room ai the baDkiog'hooae. 

How it happened that, with this feeling ao strongif im- 
presaed upon mj mind, I shoitld deviate so widely frotn m; 
purpoae, I know not| bot I coDtinaeci- hurrying oavvarcb 
until I /otind myself (I use the word literally) standing 
upon Tower Hill, beneath the window of Fanny Hartopp. 
My heart, in its deep desolation and lonelinesB, had taroed 
towards her, and my footsteps ImA ttoconaciously followed 
its promptings. 

Surprised at my own absence «f mind, I could not help 
ejaculating, <^ Fool ttiat I am, what business have I here*] 
I am engaged to Augusta Maynard ; I have given up all 
the love and sweetness of life for gold and grandeur; aiHi 
this is not the moment, Heaven knows, for regretting— • 

I paused ere I could complete my soliloquy, for a shad* 
ed outline was thrown by the lamp within the-room upon 
the canvas-blind ; it became more definite and opaque ; it 
assumed the small, the graceful^ the welUknown form of 
Fanny. Electrified at the sight, I sprang forward, and 
placed myself immediately beneath the window, but the 
shadow vajnished as rapidly as it had appeared, and I covld 
no longer (iistinguish any moving object upon the blank 
and envious screen* 

As if, however, to make atonement to my ears for the 
grievous disappointment of ray eyes, I presently beard the 
sound of a piano-forte, and in another minute distinctly 
caught the following verse of my own < song, in that voice 
of melodious tenderness which, when once heard, could 
never be forgotten or mistaken. 

Although) whoa yean ar» flown, 

A change of scena or lot 
Each other cherished tone 

From our memory may blot, 
A sound (here is that yet, 

Whatever change we prove, 
We never can forget, 

Tis the voice of one we love. 



r^M 



<< No ; we never, never can forget it," I ejaculated, as my 



^ 



THE MOKETCD MikK. 199 

botom yearned withti fond delight. <^Oear warbling syren ! 
who could ever forget tbee ?" 

Quick as liffbtnmg the wbolecurrent of Fanny's thoughts 
pi^sented itself to my heated imagination. She had heard 
of my misfortunes, for the whole city must have rung with 
the news of the stoppage ; and, in spKe of my recent neg- 
lect, of my known engagement to Augusta (for that, too, 
hftd been whispered abroad), the dear girl had been think- 
ing of me and of my troubles with a fond sorrow, had been 
brooding, perchance, over the secret disappointment of her 
own hopes, until her bosom had poured out its feetiogs and 
its sympathies in tl^ impassioned tones that had just en- 
cbanted me. . 

Ob, bow greedily my ear devoured every note ! with 
what eagerness did I listen for a renewal of the delicious 
strain { But aH was f^in silent ; the light was withdrawn 
from the chamber ; the warbling 1 had heard had been 
Fanny's good-night to my memory before she retired to 
rest. My heart thrilled at the thought, and the tears actu- 
ally gushed from my eyes. 

Mental anguish and excitement must have rendered me 
unusually susceptible, for this was the second time in one 
day that I had been thus vehemently affected. The occa- 
nons, indeed, were not very widely different, for the bright, 
the t)eamtng revelation of Fanny's undiminished regard, 
was a sunrise to my soul. Her name still escaped from my 
lips in whispered exclamations and blessings, when, after 
having hovered some time longer about her now silent 
dwelling, I paced slowly and with unwilling steps towards 
the banking-house^ 

Wishing to avoid another encounter with my partner, I 
was harrying up stairs to my bedroom, when, on passing 
the parlor door, I saw a newspaper lying on the table. 
With an irrepressible curiosity I snatched it up, and, run- 
ning my eye down the columns in search of the city article, 
read the following paragraph. 

<< The failure this morning of a great and long establish- 
ed banking-house has excited the most profound conster- 
nation in the commercial world. Many, rumors are afloat 
opon this subject, which vve* trust will not be confirmed. 



n 



200 THE MONETED MAN. 

It is 8aid that the senior partner had incurred immense loss- 
es by the most extensiye speculations, and that the catas- 
trophe has been hastened by the wild courses and extrava- 
gances of his son. It will be seen by our advertising col- 
umns that a meeting of the creditors is convened for next 
Wednesday, when trie real causes of this distressing occur* 
rence will doubtless be revealed^'' 

Unless this invidious coloring proceeds from thetnafigai' 
ty of Mr. Poole, what a precious specimen does it afford of 
the candor and kindness of the world ! Ay, ay I trample 
upon the fallen, insult the powerless, malign the bankrupt! 
Who is the jackass that delights not to have a kick at the 
dead lion ? My wild courses ! an occasional indulgence 
in fashionable recreations. My extravagance ! a few thou- 
sands beyond my paltry allowance. 

It is too ridiculous. I despise such base and spitefal 
calumnies. 



What an inconsistent, what an inexplicable thing is human 
nature ! Unable to sleep during the greater part of the 
night, my thoughts reverted to my poor father in a mood 
of compunction and regret totally at variance with all the 
previous train of my ideas. When I imagined -that his 
death would not only free me from all restraint, but render 
me one of the wealthiest men in the city, I rarely looked 
forward to it with the proper feelings of a son. Nay, I fear 
that I have sometimes been unnatural enough to yearn with 
a secret impatience for its occurrence. Now that he is 
dead, leaving me heir to nothing but almost intolerable dis- 
appointments and humiliations, and a lifelong struggle 
with poverty — now, in short, that I have nothing for which 
to thank him, I not only deplore his loss, but accuse myself 
bitterly of having too often attributed to selfish and sordid 
motives a line of conduct which may have originated in the 
most disinterested regard for my welfare. 

In many, many instances do I suspect that I have been 
rash and unjust in my judgments. The curtain that veiled 
the past is now drawn up. The long-standing embarrass- 



TBS MOmSTED XAN. 201 

ments of the faonae, expIaiDiog the real motives of my fa- 
ther's actions, apbraid me for my unfilial and uncharitable 
Qonstraction. fits earnest, his importunate entreaties that 
I would decline the banking business, so full of hazard 
and anxiety, and adopt some profession in which my abili- 
li^ might ensure success; his restriction of my income 
to a fixed sum, which I thought so shabby at the time ; his 
exdoding me from all share in the management, or insight 
into the afiiiirs of the house ; his recent great anxiety that 
I. should marry Augusta Maynard, or some other heiress ; 
his objections to my taking a house at the west end of the 
town ; his sudden illness, occasioned probably by mental 
agony ; and the recent moroseness of his temper, attribu- 
table, doubtless, to the same cause, have now received a 
solution very difierent from that which I had assigned to 
them. 

But who can expect a man to see clearly when he is 
kept studiously in the dark ? Oh ! that my poor father had 
possessed iess pride ! Oh ! that he had given me his con* 
fidence ! But I cannot wonder at his obstinate reserve, 
when there is too much reason to apprehend that he took 
refuge in death from the horrors of a public insolvency. 



For the first time I have felt my reverses : the iron ha? 
entered my soul. What misery may yet be in store for me. 
Heaven only knows, but methinks the bitterness of my 
downfall is over — surely I must have drained the cup of 
humiliation and wretchedness to the very dregs, and can 
never pass through another ordeal so harrowing, so degrad- 
ing, so heart-crushing. 

I have attended a meeting — rather say I have been plac- 
ed in the dock like a criminal -4 have been had up before 
my creditors, flow I dreaded, how I shrunk from this ex- 
cruciating process language cannot tell. Chimerical as was 
the notion, yet was I for the second time fuHy impressed 
with the conviction that every one of these men, before 
whom I was to stand as a sort of felon whom they might 
pelt with as much impunity as a Shrovetide cock, was per- 



202 THE MONIYEB ItAK. 

feetly acqomnted witlr my receat triufnpbs, my prematttte 
bragadocio and exultation, when I rerelled in the deliriam 
of a golden apotheosis. Ob ! with what a scorching blush 
did my cheek tingle as I thoaght of tnj Alnaschar visions 
of grandeur and magnificence, wherein I was to << bestride 
the narrow world like a colossus," or rather to be set up 
like the golden calf which all men were to fall down aod 
worship ! Oh ! what would 1 have given for a cup of 
Lethe's stream, that I might forget these vainglorious swag" 
gerings of my intoxicated spirit — but no — they haunted me 
in enUxxlied shapes, mocking and mowing, and pohfitingat 
me with derisive grins ! What would I have given to es- 
cape from this accursed meeting ! Given ? Fool that I 
am to talk of giving, when I have not a shilling to ransom 
me from my fate. I was tied to the stake, and I must eo* 
dure the baiting. 

What are the hypocritical long faces of a funeral party* 
half of whom are generally gainers by the death they af- 
fect to deplore, compared to the genuine woe-begone vis* 
ages of a meeting of creditors, all of whom are losers, 
while all believe themselves to have been outwitted — ^the most 
galling of feelings to a Mammonite! Worse than spectral 
apparitions moved around me on every side. Smug trades- 
men and dealers, naturally hard-featured, and now grim as 
gorgons — dapper brokers, lately as abject as spaniels, now 
showing by their supercilious looks thiat they felt their su- 
periority to a fallen gentleman — merchants, whose conde- 
scending forbearance or contemptuous pity were worse thao 
a direct insults—portly bankers aflfecting to look indignant 
at the discredit tirought upon their order, and, standing as 
sternly aloof as the pharisee did from the publican, glared 
upon me with eyes and countenances of every sort, save 
one; in all that numerous assemblage I could not discover a 
single friendly face. What right had t to look for one, I 
who in my mania for Tashioaable coteries had scorned the 
society and the friendship of ray fellow-citizens ? I had 
been insolent, I confess, drunk with arrogance, mad and 
blind with confidence ; but I had only fallen from a greater 
height, and was entitled to sympathy from the very con- 



THE MONSYSD MAN. 1^3 

tra8t between my recent culmination and my present down- 
ward burl. 

Nat finding this sympathy, I was rather veied at not be* 
ing more insulted. Harshness and upbraidings would have 
acted as an anodyne upon my irritated spirit, but the bate* 
ful men were civil, if that term can be applied to a con* 
temptuous forbearance. I was qoestioned, indeed, about 
my overdrawn account, my cottage at Epsom, and my 
debts ; but my answers elicited no other comments than 
lifting of eyebrows and shruggings of shoulders. 

The only contumely to which I was subjected proceeded 
from my partner. It had been proposed and carried that 
Mr. Poole should be employed at a liberal salary to wind up 
the affairs of the house, including my late father's unsettled 
speculations in various articles of merchandize, when one 
of the creditors moved that *' Au/rtend," Mr. Mark Hawk- 
wood, should be associated with him on the same terms. 

<<In that case," sneered Poole, *^I must decline the 
generous offer just made to me. Mr. Hawkwood is utterly 
ignorant of business, and can afibrd me no assistance what- 
ever, unless I am likely to have dealings in horses and dogs, 
or French dancers and Italian Opera singers." 

Insolent muckworm ! Xhere was no candle-stick at hand, 
nor should I have again hurled it at him if there had been, 
for my spirit quailed beneath the conscious truth of bis rebuke, 
and I sedulously turned over the leaves of a ledger, pre- 
tending not to have heard him. My patron, however, not 
only persisted in bis proposition, but even volunteered a 
defence of my conduct, urging the great expectations to 
which I had been educated, and pleading my exclusion 
from the business as some sort pf excuse for my betaking 
myself to a life of pleasure. His good offices were vain : 
bis proposition fell to the ground for wapt of a seconder, 
and its failure was sent home to my heart by a smile of tri* 
umphant derision from Mr. Poole. 

There might have been consolation in knowing that I 
had one friend in the room, but even this poor solace was 
embittered by self-reproach ■; for this unsolicited, this gene- 
rous advocate, who had, in this moment of my deffradatioUi 
publicly called me his friend, was no other than- Ned Sim- 



204 TBS MQNETfiO BUM. 

moQ8, whom 1 kad wTariably rtdieidod as a pert vulgar 
unworthy of my acquaintancei whom I had atoloQ of 
and struck to the ground under cover of the darkness ! 
Sick at soul with these manifold and aggravated hun 
iations, I continued mechanically turning over the leavei 
the ledger, hearing and heeding nothing, Until the silei 
of the room conveyed to me the welcome knowledge t! 
I wa8 once more alone. 



£ND or vowuz i. 



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