107789
ONE HUNDRED PLAYS FOR CHILDREN
PLAYS
for
CHILDREN
An Anthology of Non-Royalty
One-Act Plays
Edited by
A. S. BURACK
Editor, PLAYS, the Drama Magazine for
Young People
Boston
PLAYS, INC.
Publishers
Copyright 1949 by
PLAYS, INC
All Rights Reserved
Reprinted 1953
CAUTION
The plays in this volume are fully protected by copyright law.
All rights, including motion picture, recitation, television, public
reading, radio broadcasting, and rights of translation into foreign
languages are strictly reserved.
NOTICE FOR AMATEUR PRODUCTION
These plays may be produced by schools, clubs, and similar
amateur groups without payment of a royalty fee.
NOTICE FOR PROFESSIONAL PRODUCTION
For any form of non-amateur presentation (professional stage,
radio or television), permission must be obtained in writing from
the publisher. Inquiries should be addressed to PLAYS, INC.,
8 Arlington Street, Boston 16, Massachusetts.
Manufactured in the United States of America
CONTENTS
GENERAL PLAYS
Make Him Smile E. W. Arnold 1
A comedy in a toyshop
China Comes to You Karin Asbrand 10
A play of modern China
'What's A Penny? Karin Asbrand 19
A thrift play
The Dulce Man Catherine Blanton 23
A Mexican comedy
The Talent Tree . Thelma Lucille Brown 31
A primary career play
A Chinese Rip Van Winkle Anna Curtis Chandler 37
A Chinese fantasy
' Grey Ghosts x Dorothy Deming 45
A play on forest fire prevention
Old Man River Dorothy Deming 53
Rescue by the Red Cross
One-Ring Circus Aileen Fisher 61
A comedy for intermediates
Special Edition Aileen Fisher 69
A newspaper comedy
The Way to Norwich Aileen Fisher 80
A modern fable
Louisa Alcott's Wish Sophie L, Goldsmith 87
An incident in Louisa May Alcotfs childhood
The Unusual Flower Manta S. Graham 95
A play of character building
The Language Shop Mazie Hall 106
A play on good speech
The Trial of Billy Scott Mazie Hall 113
A language play
Children of the Calendar Carol Hartley 122
A play about the months of the year
Much Ado About Ants Anna Lenington Heath 127
A modern comedy
Midnight Burial Kay Hill 135-
A mystery comedy
The Little Circus Donkey Helen Littler Howard 140
A play about animals
How We Got Our Numbers Eleanora Bowling Kane 144
An historical arithmetic play
Piffle! It's Only a Sniffle! Ted Kaufman 151
A health comedy
Tommy's Adventure Eleanore Leuser 159
A play of character building
The Clock's Secret, Esther MacLdlan and Catherine Schroll 164
A mystery
The Shady Shadows Helen Louise Miller 172
A comedy of character building
If Wishes Were Horses Bertha Nathan 182
A play about unselfishness
Not on the Menu Mary Thurman Pyle 192
A comedy
Children of the Sun Charles Rittenhouse 204
An astronomy play
All in Favor Morton K. Schwartz 218
A play of democracy in everyday life
Twin Cousins Morton K. Schwartz 228
A comedy
The King's Creampuffs Martha Swintz 237
A satirical comedy
The Day is Bright Norman Myrick 253
A comedy on art
HOLIDAY PLAYS
LincoMs Birthday
A Letter to Lincoln Lindsey Barbee 268
The Lincoln Coat Thelma W. Sealock 277
Valentines Day
The Queen with the Broken Heart Catherine Urban 288
What Happened to the Cakes Alice Very 292
Washington's Birthday
A Guide for George Washington Lindsey Barbee 297
•David and the Second Lafayette Lavinia R. Davis 312
Easter
The Magic Egg Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen 324
vi
Mother's Day
A Present for Mother June Barr 336
Mother's Gift Helen Littler Howard 341
A Golden Bell for Mother Alice Very 345
Memorial Day
See the Parade Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen 353
Pink Parasol Helen Louise Miller 361
Columbus Day
Columbus Sails the Sea Lindsey Barbee 375
Halloween
The Magic Spell Esther Cooper 382
The Witch's Pumpkin Esther Cooper 386
Goblin Parade Beulah Folmsbee 390
The Magic Jack-O-Lantern Helen Littler Howard 399
The Magic Pumpkin Lee Kingman 403
Book Week
Wonders of Storybook Land Alice D'Arcy 412
Off the Shelf Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen 423
Mr. Longfellow Observes Book Week Edna G. Moore 433
Hubbub on the Bookshelf Alice Woster 439
Armistice Day
Bob's Armistice Parade Lucille Streacker 455
Thanksgiving
I'll Share My Fare Helen Littler Howard 460
Thanks to Sammy Scarecrow Helen Littler Howard 463
Mr. Thanks Has His Day Lee Kingman 467
Jonathan's Thanksgiving Alice Very 475
Christmas
The Holly Hangs High Lindsey Barbee 482
Merry, Merry, Merry Gladys Hasty Carroll 492
The First New England Christmas Tree, Ella Stratton Colbo 507
The Little Cake E. Clayton McCarty 518
Christmas Comes to Hamelin Grace Evelyn Mills 528
Happy Christmas to All Jeannette Covert Nolan 540
No Room at the Inn Emma L. Patterson 551
Christmas House Helen E. Waite and
Elbert M. Hoppenstedt 560
LEGENDS, FABLES, AND FAIRY TALES
The Crystal Flask Karin Asbrand 570
Little Hero of Holland Karin Asbrand 577
vii
Rumpelstiltsken Helen Cotts Bennett 587
Sleeping Beauty Helen Cotts Bennett 596
The Lion and the Mouse Rowena Bennett 605
The Three Wishes Cora Burlingame 609
The Salt in the Sea Mildred Colbert 618
Cinderella Alice D'Arcy 633
The Floating Stone C. W. Foulk and Doris P. Buck 643
Jack and Jill Helen L. Freudenberger 649
Broom Market Day Lida Lisle Molloy 656
Jenny-by-the-Day Lida Lisle Molloy 666
The Wise Men of Gotham Ruth Vickery Holmes 675
The Pied Piper of Hamelin Lucy Kennedy 686
The Mixing Stick Eleanore Leuser 701
The Magic Cookie Jar Helen Louise Miller 706
The Town Mouse and His Country Cousin Violet Muse 718
Hans, Who Made the Princess Laugh Elsi Rowland 726
A Precedent in Pastries Elsi Rowland 734
The Three Aunts Elsi Rowland 741
Hansel and Grethel Natalie Simonds 751
Peter Rabbit Natalie Simonds 757
The Pot of Gold Claribel N. Spamer 762
The Test Loretta Capell Tobey 766
Puss-in-Boots Alice Very 777
The Three Sillies Alice Very 784
A Kettle of Brains Gweneira M. Williams 790
HISTORICAL PLAYS
The Flag of the United States Lindsey Barbee 796
No Braver Soldier J. C. Eleanor Bierling 803
The Heroine of Wren Ella Stratton Colbo 813
Hearts of Oak May Emery Hall 821
A Son of Liberty Esther Lipnick 828
Dolly Saves the Day Helen Louise Miller 838
Not Only the Strong Helen E. Waite and
Elbert M. Hoppenstedt 848
Production Notes 862
vui
PREFACE
The plays included in this volume represent a cross-section of
the most popular and successful dramas which have appeared in
PLAYS, the Drama Magazine for Young People. As editor of
this magazine, I have had an opportunity to observe closely the
comparative success of the more than 1,000 plays we have pub-
lished. This collection has been chosen to offer teachers and
dramatics directors a convenient source of suitable one-act,
royalty-free, original plays that are flexible to cast and easy to
produce.
The plays are divided into four groups, providing a varied col-
lection for both classroom and special assembly programs. There
are plays for celebrating holidays and special occasions ; historical
and costume plays; modern comedies; fantasies, legends, and
fables in dramatic form.
Most of these plays may be produced with simple equipment —
using a plain backdrop or a classroom wall for scenery, with a
mere suggestion of furnishings and costumes and no special
lighting effects. Or productions may be elaborate, with authentic
costuming, special lighting and professional make-up. The Pro-
duction Notes at the end of the volume offer suggestions for
staging, lighting, properties, and other details.
In selecting the plays for this book, I have considered not only
the practical aspects of production but also that vital intangible
quality which is the real measure of a play's success — the enjoy-
ment of both audience and actors.
A. S. Burack
MAKE HIM SMILE
by E. W. Arnold
Characters
OLD MRS. BIMILIE, owner of the Doll Shop
MR. SOLOMON CROSSBY, her landlord
THE VERY BEST DOLL
THE SOLDIER DOLL, ->
THE DUTCH DOLL
THE FLOWER DOLL,
THE JUMPING JACK
THE WITCH DOLL
THE ROOSTER DOLL
SETTING : Inside the Doll Shop.
TIME: About 8 o'clock at night.
AT RISE : Seated at a table, down right, and facing the audience is
MRS. BIMILIE. She is writing a letter, but stops every so often
to wipe her eyes and to blow her nose. She finishes the letter,
folds it, and puts it into a large envelope which she starts to
address.
MRS. BIMILIE {Speaking aloud as she writes) : "M-i-s-t-e-r-
S-o-l-o-m-o-n- C-r-o-s-s-b-y." And Cross Boy is right ! It's a good
name for him, the miserable creature ! Now, what's his address ?
(Consults book beside her.) "Frowning Manor, Misery Lane."
Hump ! Two other horrid names, and they just suit him — for
of all cross, mean, noisy, making-other-people-miserable men that
I ever saw he's the worst. And to think that I have to write him
that I haven't the rent money! (Begins to cry.) Oh dear! Oh
deary gracious me! (A loud knock is heard on door, left. She
jumps up, her hand across her mouth, and stands in terror as the
knock is repeated.) Who — who's there? (The door opens and
MR. SOLOMON CROSSBY himself enters noisily, slamming the door
2 MAKE HIM SMILE
shut behind him. He removes his hat and tosses it on top of the
JACK'S box.)
MR. CROSSBY : Oh ! Didn't expect to see me this time of night, did
you?
MRS. BIMILIE: N-no, Sir, I-I didn't. In fact, I was just writing
to you —
MR. CROSSBY {Advancing towards her threateningly as she re-
treats toward the JACK'S box) : Writing to me, eh? Does that
mean that you can't pay your rent? (She nods) I thought so!
And you wonder why I have come around this time of night !
I've been expecting something like this ! Well, let me tell you
something — if you'd just pay up promptly, you wouldn't see me
any more than you see (Looks around) — than you see the
Jack-In-the-Box ! (Throws himself down in comfortable chair.)
MRS. BIMILIE (Timidly, coming near him as he sits) : It's because
of the Jack-In-The-Box that I haven't the rent money.
MR. CROSSBY (Laughing raucously) : Ho ! What do you mean by
that, hey? Did he run off with your cash? That's a good one!
Ha! ha!
MRS. BIMILIE : Someone came in to buy him yesterday — a little
girl who said she wanted him to make her cross old grandpa
smile. But when she opened the box the Jack wouldn't come out
— so she went away without buying anything ! (Wipes her eyes)
MR. CROSSBY (Leaning forward) : So ! Just because a silly Jack-
In-The-Box was sulky, you haven't my rent money ! What's the
matter with you that you can't bring up your dolls better than
that? Why was the Jack so stubborn, eh? Why wouldn't he
come out?
MRS. BIMILIE (Slowly) : I think it was because he didn't want to
make the little girl's cross old Grandpa smile.
MR. CROSSBY: And why not?
MRS. BIMILIE: He — he's afraid of him.
MR. CROSSBY: Afraid of him! Has he seen him? Does he know
him?
MRS. BIMILIE: Y — yes, he does.
MR. CROSSBY: Stuffy nonsense! It's his business to make people
smile, no matter how frightening they are.
MRS. BIMILIE (Eagerly) : Yes, sir, but you see, you always talk
so loud — qh ! (She claps her hands over her mouth.) I didn't
mean to tell you!
MAKE HIM SMILE 3
MR. CROSSBY (Sitting up straight) : I talk so loud ! You mean I'm
the man he was to make smile? (She nods) Ridiculous stuffy
nonsense ! (Springs up and begins to pace the floor, MRS. BIM-
ILIE following him, wringing her hands.)
MRS. BIMILIE: Oh, please, please, Mr. Crossby, don't be offended!
MR. CROSSBY (Fairly yelling) : Who says I'm offended? Offended,
indeed ! I'm amused, that's what I am ! (Laughs a very forced
"ha ha" then turns in a jury to poor little MRS. BIMILIE.) But
I'm not too amused to forget my rent — and I want it now —
this very minute f
MRS. BIMILIE (Desperately) : Very well, Mr. Crossby. I shall
have to go out and try to borrow it from my brother who lives
up the street. Will you please sit down and wait until I return ?
(Takes her bonnet and shawl from hat-tree and tremblingly
starts to put them on.)
MR. CROSSBY (Subsiding into chair) : That's better — that's
something like! And your brother had better come across with
the money, too, or I'll have you both in jail! (MRS. BIMILIE
fumbles wretchedly with her things which so enrages him that
he shouts.) Well! What are you standing around here for? Go
get that money ! (She hurries out, and he pretends to chase her
out the door. MR. CROSSBY settles himself in chair, gets up, walks
over to box and looks at it, rubbing his hands over his chin.)
Hum. Afraid of me, eh? I like people to have some spirit. (Slaps
side of box contemptuously, wanders around room, noticing each
doll in an abstracted way. Sits down again in chair and begins to
rock very fast. He gradually rocks slower and slower, his eyes
close. The lights grow dimmer. The DOLLS move in their places,
slowly turning towards him. There is a low chorus of "Shame!
Shame!" repeated over and over again as they turn. The DOLLS
descend from their places and, moving in irregular groups, ad-
fvance towards MR. CROSSBY still repeating "Shame!" They stand
watching him.)
FLOWER DOLL: How can he treat our dear Mistress so?
BEST DOLL : How cross he looks, even in his sleep !
•/DUTCH DOLL: Vy iss his face all wrinkles?
SOLDIER DOLL (Standing straight and tall) : See how he slouches !
ALL: Shame! Shame!
FLOWER DOLL: Well, we can't have him coming; here, yelling at
our dear little Mistress. We mu^t stop him.
4 MAKE HIM SMILE
ALL: How?
BEST DOLL: Witch Doll, can't you do something?
WITCH DOLL : I can stop him from moving or speaking, but only
for an hour.
ALL: Good!
JACK (Knocking on inside box) : Wait ! I want to see this ! Let
me out!
BEST DOLL (Hurrying across room and undoing box lid) : Oh yes,
Jack, you must see him — his yelling always frightened you so.
(JACK pops up.)
JACK: Hurrah for the Witch! Hurry up and enchant the old
crank!
ALL: Sh, you'll wake him up! (MR. CROSSBY stirs, opens his eyes,
and tries to spring to his feet. The WITCH DOLL raises her
hand.)
WITCH DOLL: Abracadabra! Fall, oh spell!
Enchant his form — his mouth as well !
(MR. CROSSBY sinks back in chair — tries vainly to speak — at-
tempts to rise but cannot — sits in helpless fury.)
ALL: Ahha. Now we have him! (They advance towards him
threateningly.)
BEST DOLL: Stop! Stop! That's not the way to act. We mustn't
hurt him.
ALL: Why not? (They still advance.)
DUTCH DOLL: He iss a* nasty man!
FLOWER DOLL: Let's pull his hair.
JACK : I want to pull his nose !
SOLDIER DOLL : Wait ! The Best Doll is right. If we want to stop •
him from being so mean, we mustn't be mean. We must show
him how much better it is to be kind.
BEST DOLL: Oh yes, don't you see, dolls? Two wrongs never make
one right. Let's show him how nice and funny we are, and then
perhaps he'll change.
FLOWER DOLL: Yes, let's. Let's try to make the corners of his
mouth turn up — and his frown wrinkles turn to smile ones —
JACK (Enthusiastically) : Yes ! And Flower Doll's the one to
show him how nice a quiet voice can be —
ALL: That's right, Jack!
BEST DOLL (Bending over MR. CROSSBY) : Do you hear, old man?
(His eyes rott towards her. To the others.) Come, stand over
MAKE HIM SMILE 5
here and we'll show him one by one all the nice pleasant things
we know. (Flutters to stage right, followed by others.) Flower
Doll, you go first. Show him your little dance and poem.
FLOWER DOLL (Swaying over to him, she says in a clear sweet
voice) :
Swinging my petals, I sway and I sing,
Watching the birds going by on the wing.
Lifting my face to the shining sun,
And folding my petals when day is done.
(All smile and clap gently. She returns to her place.)
BEST DOLL: Did you like that, old man? Wasn't it better than
your loud yelling voice? (MR. CROSSBY looks ashamed.)
SOLDIER DOLL: Sure it was! (All nod.) Now, let's make the old
man laugh.
DuprcH DOLL: Who iss der funniest? (All talk at once*, saying,
"Jack is!" — "The Dutch Doll is too!" etc.)
BEST DOLL : You all are cute and funny except the Witch Doll and
me ; so suppose we give the Rooster Doll his chance ?
ROOSTER DOLL (Flapping forward, clearing his throat once or
twice as if in practice) : Cook — a oook ! (Hops over to MR.
CROSSBY, draws himself up very tall.)
Cock-a-doodle-doooo !
I'm a barnyard friend so true !
My wings I beat (Flaps his wings)
And worms I eat ! (Pretends to gobble a worm.)
That's something you can't do !
(Suddenly pokes his head at MR. CROSSBY who tries to draw
back. All laugh but MR. CROSSBY.)'
BEST DOLL : Oh dear, you startled him, Rooster. That's not the
way to make a person laugh. Dutch Dolly, suppose you try.
(DUTCH DOLL comes clumping forward and bows jerkily.)
DUTCH DOLL:
Donner ! Diss iss sooch a much !
I am leedle Dolly Dutch! (Drops a curtsey.)
Full of funs — dot's me — Dot's me !
Joost you watch and you shall see.
(Dances a few steps to the tune of "Ach, du lieber Augustine".
All laugh and clap. MR. CROSSBY has unconsciously been keeping
time with his head to the music, and half-smiling* Stops at the
sound of clapping and looks angry again.)
6 MAKE HIM SMILE
BEST DOLL (Peeping into his face) : Ah ! We almost had him
then ! Quick, Jack, see if you can catch that smile !
JACK (Jumping up and down) : Likes people to have some spirit,
eh? 'I'll show him some spirit! (Leaps about crasily.)
Wheel Wheel
Just look at me !
I jump in the air
And children I scare,
But they donXcare!
There's fun to spare !
Wheel Wheel Wheel
SOLDIER DOLL: Very good, my boy — but you were scared of the
old man yourself, don't forget.
ALL: Yes, you were, Jack!
JACK : Well, I'm not now. And do you know why ? 'Cause the old
man's smiling, that's why! Look at him! (All look. MR.
CROSSBY is almost grinning.)
ALL : Three cheers ! He's smiling ! We've done it !
BEST DOLL: And isn't he handsome when he does smile? (All
agree.) Now there are only three of us left to complete the job.
Witch Doll, wouldn't you like to have a turn?
WITCH DOLL (Hobbling over to MR. CROSSBY and bending down
close to his face) :
I'm a terrible, terrible, terrible Witch!
I tickle your nose to make it itch !
(She does so — all laugh.)
I ride a broom when night draws near,
I haunt your house to make you fear!
You'd better be good! You'd better smile!
Or life for you won't be worthwhile ! Yahhhh !
(MR. CROSSBY shivers and shakes. All point fingers at him.)
BEST DOLL : I think that's quite enough of scaring the poor man.
And now —
FLOWER DOLL: And now, Best Doll, it's your turn!
ALL: Yes! Yes!
BEST DOLL: Well, the Soldier Doll and I are the last. Will you
give me your arm, Soldier? (He offers her his arm with a very
gallant gesture, and they both walk over to MR. CROSSBY with
very stately steps. Th& BEST DOLL drops a curtsey and the SOL-
DIER salutes her. They begin to do a dignified little dance, such
MAKE HIM SMILE 7
as a step or two of the Minuet — while all the dolls recite.}
ALL:
When a Soldier Doll all unafraid
Meets a dainty little dolly maid,
And he takes her hand and they dance together.
Forward and back, light as a feather.
Then the sun comes out, and our hearts grow light,
And our faces smile, and our eyes are bright,
For a dolly maid, and a soldier boy,
And a dance, and a smile, can bring you joy !
(All clap as he bows and the BEST DOLL curtseys again. MR.
CROSSBY'S face is one big smile, and he tries to- speak.)
BEST DOLL : Oh Witch, he is trying to say something nice to us !
Unenchant him, please! ( WITCH hesitates.)
ALL: Yes, do!
JACK (Magnanimously) : Sure ! Go ahead — the old boy's all
right!
ROOSTER DOLL : Come on, Witch, let him talk — awk — awk !
WITCH (Approaching MR. CROSSBY and waving her hands before
him) : Abracadabra! Spell, away! (All watch while a cheerful-
looking MR. CROSSBY moves in his chair, stretches, moves first
one leg and then the other, flexes his arms, rubs his jaws, etc.
He is smiling as he leans forward in his chair.)
FLOWER DOLL : Look, he isn't angry any longer !
MR: CROSSBY : I should say I'm not angry any longer ! How could
I be, when you dolls have shown me what fun it is to smile and
be happy? (All shout "Hurrah!") Why, I feel so good that I
want to jump — and sing — and dance !
JACK: All right, let's see you! (He and the SOLDIER DOLL help
MR. CROSSBY from his chair, one on each side. The other dolls
arrange themselves in a semicirde behind them, JACK jumps on
his box, and SOLDIER DOLL steps right leaving MR. CROSSBY alone
in center. With JACK leading and all the others clapping in time,
they sing, while MR. CROSSBY does an awkward lively dance.)
ALL:
Pack up your troubles in the Jumping Jack's box
And smile ! Smile ! Smile !
Dance from your head down to your socks,
Smile, dolls, that's the style!
What's the use of frowning?
g MAKE HIM SMILE
It never was worthwhile ! So —
Pack all your troubles in the Jumping Jack's Box
And smile ! Smile ! Smile !
(All are laughing, and MR. CROSSBY is breathless when suddenly
the door opens, and MRS. BIMILIE enters. She stops in incred-
ulous amazement. The dolls scatter to their places and stand mo-
tionless. MR. CROSSBY halts, embarrassed, fumbling with his
necktie and clearing his throat noisily.)
MRS. BIMILHS : Mercy gracious me ! (She falls against JACK'S box.
MR. CROSSBY springs to her aid and supports her to a chair,
talking as he does so.)
MR. CROSSBY : Do not be alarmed, dear lady —
MRS. BIMILIE: Dear lady! Ohhhh!
MR. CROSSBY (Blushing) : I — er — realize that those words are
perhaps rather a shock to you, Mrs. Bimilie, and that my po-
sition when you came in is a bit difficult to explain —
MRS. BIMILIE (Fanning herself) : Oh gracious mercy me, yes !
MR. CROSSBY : But I assure you that since you have been gone I
have had a wonderful revelation.
MRS. BIMILIE : ^Revelation?
MR. CROSSBY : Yes. I have seen how much better and happier peo-
ple can be when they dance — and sing — and smile !
MRS. BIMILIE : Well, praises be ! But who changed you and made
you realize that?
MR. CROSSBY : Your dolls ! Your jolly happy dolls, God bless them !
MRS. BIMILIE : Can I believe my ears? Are you really saying "God
bless them"? (He nods.) And you aren't angry any more? You
won't put me in jail — for my brother was away and I haven't
the rent money.
MR. CROSSBY: Jail? Rent money? What's rent money? And who's
going to put you in jail? Stuffy nonsense!
MRS. BIMILIE: Oh thank mercy goodness! (She begins to cry.)
MR. CROSSBY : Here now, none of that ! (Pulls out a huge handker-
chief and wipes her eyes.) Why, you haven't anything to cry
about, you know. You won't have to go to jail, and you won't
have to pay the rent either.
MRS. BIMILIE: Not pay the rent! How is that!
MR. CROSSBY: Well, you see, it's this way. I had such a good time
with your dolls that, instead of rent money, I want to take a
couple of them home with me to remember this evening by.
MAKE HIM SMILE 9
MRS. BIMILIE : Oh, sir, that's wonderful of you ! Which ones will
you choose?
MR. CROSSBY (Judiciously) : Well now, let's see. You said, didn't
you, that my little granddaughter wanted the Jack-In-The-Box
to make me smile?
MRS. BIMILIE : Well, yes, she did — but —
MR. CROSSBY: But he was afraid of me — wasn't that it? (She
'nods.) Well he isn't afraid any longer! So I choose him. And
for my little granddaughter I'll take the Best Doll. So we'll
have something tojaugh at and something to love! How's that?
MRS. BIMILIE (Emotionally): That's, that's just beautiful, sir!
(He turns to go. She jumps up and crosses to desk.) But wait,
sir! Will you take them with you, or shall I send them? And to
what address?
MR. CROSSBY : Send them, please. (She gets charge book and pen-
cil.) And I can't have two such nice merry creatures going to
my old address. I shall change my name and my home. I am
now Mr. Solomon Not-So Crossby, and I live at Smiling Manor,
on Happiness Lane!
THE END
CHINA COMES TO YOU
by Karin Asbrand
Characters
DOROTHY, daughter of an American missionary
MAY LING, the mother
SING LING
WANG LING
HiLo
CHING SEE
Lo SEE
Chinese boys
Chinese girls
LITTLE GOLDEN DAUGHTER
LOTUS BLOSSOM
CHERRY BLOSSOM
RED FLOWER
BLUE BLOSSOM
WEE ONE
SERVANT
FLO FLO, a dragon
SooLA 1 ,.
Loo CHEE } hons
THE KITCHEN GOD
THE SUN GOD
SCENE 1
SETTING: A room in the Ling home in China.
AT RISE: MAY LING and the SERVANT are busy preparing the
meal. They set a low table at right. All the children are on the
stage except SING LING and DOROTHY. The KITCHEN GOD sits
behind frame on dais and the dragon is beside him.
MAY LING: Sing is very late this evening. Does he not remember
that he has guests to share his evening rice ?
WANG LING : Sing does not remember any further than the end
of his nose, which is very short, honorable Mother. He was
going to the American Mission, and there is a new little girl
CHINA COMES TO YOU 11
there. She is the daughter of the honorable missionary.
CHING SEE (With interest) : Is she nice?
WANG LING : As far as girls go she will pass.
SERVANT (Looking out the door) : Here he comes now, Mistress,
and the bowls of rice are steaming. We can begin.
Hi Lo (Rises and looks over her shoulder) : He has a strange
girl with him, an American girl, I think.
WANG LING (Also looking out) : It is she. (Enter SING LING
right with DOROTHY.)
SING LING (With his hands in his sleeves, bows low to his moth-
er) : I greet you good evening, honorable Mother. (Bows to the
others.) And you, honorable good' friends. It is not of my
choosing that I am late this time.
DOROTHY : No, it is my fault. He did an errand for my father.
(Turns, to MAY LING.) You are May Ling?
MAY LING (Bows to her) : I am May Ling.
DOROTHY : My father and mother speak often of you.
SING LING: And this is my brother Wang Ling, and my sisters
Little Golden Daughter and Wee One, and some of our friends
who have graciously consented to share our evening rice.
DOROTHY (Holds out her hand to WANG) : How do you do,
Wang Ling?
WANG LING (Looks at the proffered hand) : What is that for ?
DOROTHY: Why, to shake, of course.
SING LING: Why should I shake it? I am not angry with you.
DOROTHY (Laughs merrily) : In America we shake hands to greet
each other.
SING LING: Ho! In China we shake hands with ourselves to
greet each other. So. (He does so, and bows to her.)
DOROTHY: My goodness! Like this? (Shakes hands with herself ,
and bows to him.) That is like the prize fighters in America.
It is certainly a very sanitary custom.
WANG LING : It is a very ancient and honorable custom.
SING LING : I have invited Dorothy to share our evening rice.
MAY LING (Graciously) : It is good.
WEE ONE (Pats her stomach) : I am hungry.
BLUE BLOSSOM: That is nothing new. You are always hungry,
Wee One.
WEE ONE : That is no crime. Confucius says, "It is a wise stom-
ach that keeps step with the body/' (They sit cross-legged
12 CHINA COMES TO YOU
around the table. MAY LING and the SERVANT pass the dishes
of rice around.)
DOROTHY (Looks up at the KITCHEN GOD) : Who is that man?
LITTLE GOLDEN DAUGHTER: That isn't a man. That is the Kitch-
en God. Our worthy ancestors had many gods,
DOROTHY: He is funny-looking.
WANG LING : It is a good thing he cannot hear you.
WEE ONE: He looks as though he can hear you. I think he looks
as though he were alive.
CHING SEE: You should not do too much thinking. You are only
a girl.
Lo SEE: You do not need to worry. She does not think enough
to hurt her.
DOROTHY: Why should not girls think?
Hi Lo: Because they should sit around and look pretty.
RED FLOWER (Sighs) : Sometimes that is hard even for a girl
to do.
Hi Lo: What? Look pretty?
RED FLOWER : No, stupid one ! Sit around when there are so many
things to do that are fun.
CHERRY BLOSSOM' (Thoughtfully) : It would be fun to sit around
in a frame all day and be a picture. (They set aside their empty
plates and the SERVANT brings out bowls of tea. MAY LING also
eats and drinks.)
WANG LING: Well, it might have been fun in the days of our
worthy ancestors. Then the gods were well taken care of, you
may be sure. Then nobody could eat before a bowl of rice had
been placed before the Kitchen God for him to eat, also.
DOROTHY (Politely) : And did he eat it?
WANG LING : He looks very sleek and fat and so does the dragon.
SING LING: But it is many decades since this household has had
to feed him. It is a good thing, for China does not have too much
rice now.
DOROTHY (Puts her hand up against her dress, and starts up in
dismay): Oh! Oh! Oh!
WANG LING: What is the matter, little daughter of our honorable
friend, the Missionary?
MAY LING: You have lost something?
DOROTHY: Oh, yes! I have lost a pin that is very dear to me. It
was my grandmother's.
CHINA COMES TO YOU 13
WANG LING: I will walk down the road with you, and see if we
can find it (DOROTHY and WANG LING start out door. The
other children all rise and bow low.)
RED FLOWED: Thank you, honorable Mother of Wang Ling, Sing
Ling, Little Golden Daughter, and Wee One, for your hospi-
tality of evening rice.
MAY LING (Bows) : It is good. As long as there is rice and tea
in China we will always extend our humble and gracious
hospitality to each other.
CHERRY BLOSSOM: And now we must wend our way homeward.
MAY LING: May sweet dreams hover about your beds all night
long. (Enter DOROTHY and WANG LING.)
LOTUS BLOSSOM : Did you find your pin?
DOROTHY (Sadly) : No. Somebody must have picked it up. And
I forgot to thank you, May Ling.
MAY LING : It is good. And be not so sad, little daughter of our
honorable friend, the Missionary.
LITTLE GOLDEN DAUGHTER : Confucius says, "In time of trouble
holding the head high will help lift the heart."
WEE ONE: We will all look for your pin, and if we find it we
will run with it to the Mission.
Lo SEE : We are so many of us that I am sure one of us ought to
find it before morning.
DOROTHY: You are so good. Good night then, and thank you.
(She curtsies to MAY LING and goes out, followed by all the
Chinese children who walk with little mincing steps, their hands
in their sleeves. WANG LING, SING LING, LITTLE GOLDEN
DAUGHTER and WEE ONE remain. LITTLE GOLDEN DAUGHTER
and WEE ONE exeunt, while MAY LING and the SERVANT are
clearing away the dishes. They bring out a pallet.)
MAY LING : It is your turn to sleep here tonight, Sing, and guard
the house. Good night, my sons. (The boys bow very low to
her. Exeunt MAY LING, SERVANT, LITTLE GOLDEN DAUGHTER
and WEE ONE. A pin falls from the folds of SING'S clothes.)
WANG LING (Starts to pick it up, but SING makes a grab for it) :
What's the matter? Did you steal it?
SING LING (Indignantly) : No. I found it.
WANG LING: Then it must be Dorothy's pin. Well, if you keep
it, that is stealing.
SING LING: Finders is keepers. I read it in a book. It was an
English book.
14 CHINA COMES TO YOU
WANG LING : Then that is not a good book for a well brought up
Chinese boy to read. I will tell that you have found it.
SING LING: All right for you, dishonorable brother. And any-
way, perhaps it is not Dorothy's pin.
WANG LING: It is not so they teach you at the Mission. May
your conscience keep you awake all night, dishonorable brother.
(WANG LING exits.)
SING LING (Lies down on the pallet) : What a big fuss over a
little thing like a pin. (Holds it in his hand, and admires it.)
It is a very pretty thing, and valuable, I am sure. (Tucks it into
his coat.) Finders, keepers. (Lies back on pallet and goes to
sleep. Soft music may he jlayed as lights dim a little, and spot-
light plays on the picture. KITCHEN GOD steps out of frame
with the dragon. Goes to SING LING and prods him with his
foot.)
KITCHEN GOD: Get up, unworthiest of the unworthy.
SING LING (With a little gasp, sits up, and rubs his eyes) : Oh,
oh! Honorable and most gracious Excellency, but I thought
you were only a picture.
KITCHEN GOD: You thought I was only a picture! Ho, you do a
great deal of wrong thinking! Just as you thought that pin
should be yours.
SING LING: But I found it.
KITCHEN GOD (Severely) : But somebody else lost it.
SING LING: But I read in a book —
KITCHEN GOD: In a book! Excuses. Always excuses. Empty as
your head. You shall go with me to the Sun God's castle. He
will know how best to punish you and bring you to your senses.
SING LING : But I do not wish to go to the Sun God's castle. I am
supposed to guard this house tonight.
KITCHEN GOD: Ho, guard! I will see that the house is guarded.
We will not be long. It is just a matter of seconds, even though
it may seem like hours to you. (He claps his hands, and the
Two LIONS come in.)
SING LING (Gets up quickly and cowers against the wall) : Lions !
I do not like lions ! (The lions back away.)
KITCHEN GOD: The lions don't seem to like you either. They al-
ways know when somebody has done wrong. Soo La and Loo
Chee, we must escort two boys to the Sun God's castle tonight.
Ah, and here comes the other one. (Enter WANG LING.)
CHINA COMES TO YOU 15
SING LING: Why is Wang going? He has done no wrong.
KITCHEN GOD: No, he is just going for the trip.
WANG LING (In an aside to SING) : I jtold you, dishonorable
brother, that you would be sorry.
SING LING: But I am not sorry — yet.
KITCHEN GOD: Come, mount the lions.
SING LING: But I do not like lions. I am afraid of them. I do
not wish to mount. (The LIONS roar and he backs away from
them towards the wall, covering his face.) I do not even dare
look at them.
WANG LING (Mounts one) : Ho, what's a lion in my young life?
Nothing but a lion, that's what it is. Who cares about a mere
lion? Wang Ling is brave. Don't be a baby, Sing. See, what
cunning little lions they are.
SING LING (Gingerly conies closer) : Y-y-yes, ve — ry cunning,
I don't think. (Gingerly gets astride, but with a roar and a
shake the LION throws him off.) See, that is why I do not like
lions. (Picks himself up and tries to mount again, but the LION
roars.)
KITCHEN GOD (Severely) : He does not seem to like you either.
Maybe if you tried to like him a little he would like you better.
That is the way with animals, yes, and with people, too. Just
show that you like them a little, and they will like you.
SING LING (Grudgingly) : All right. So I like him. What do I
do next? Kiss him?
KITCHEN GOD: You do not have to go to that extreme. Just —
pat him.
SING LING (Pats lion) : O.K., so I pat him. Now what does that
net me? (The LION playfully cavorts around, then lies down so
that SING LING can mount.) Well, well, old fellow, that is bet-
ter, I'll admit. (He mounts.)
KITCHEN GOD (Mounts the dragon) : After a little while maybe
you will have some sense. And now we are off. Flo Flo, lead
the way to the Sun God's castle. We must get there and back
before dawn. (With a wave of his hand) Follow on. (They
start to canter out as the curtain goes down.)
* * *
16 CHINA COMES TO YOU
SCENE 2
SETTING : The Sun God's Castle, a few minutes later. The frame
has now been removed. The Sun Gofs throne is in the Center.
AT RISE: The SUN GOD sits on his throne. Two of the little
Chinese girls sit on either side and fan him. Chinese children
enter with little Chinese lanterns and group around throne. En-
ter FLO FLO, the KITCHEN GOD, the LIONS, and SING and
WANG LING.
CHINESE CHILDREN (All singing to the tune of "Chop Sticks") :
You've taken something that doesn't belong to you.
You've taken something that doesn't belong to you.
You've taken something that doesn't belong to you.
You've taken something that isn't yours.
Now you must learn that that is wrong, Sing Ling,
That is why you've been sent for here.
Yes, you must learn that that is wrong, Sing Ling,
And you'll have to return the pin.
KITCHEN GOD (Gets off the dragon) : Greetings, Honorable
Brother. (Bows low.) I have brought a bad one to you for
punishment.
SUN GOD : So ? And what then has he done that he should require
punishment?
KITCHEN GOD: He is about to keep for himself a pin that is
not his.
SUN GOD-. So? Such a pin shall bring him no pleasure for it shall
prick him in many places, beginning first with his conscience.
SING LING (Gets off the LION and prostrates himself before the
throne) : Honorable God of the Sun of my ancient and honor-
able ancestors, I found the pin, and when I found it I did not
know to whom it belonged. I will return it to its rightful owner.
SUN GOD: So? You know now who is the rightful owner?
SING LING: Well, I almost know. I will ask her if it belongs
,fcrher.
SrJjrGoD: Aye, and if it does not, leave then not a stone un-
turned to find the rightful owner.
WANG LING: I will help you to find the rightful owner, Sing Ling.
SUN GOD: You are the eldest of the household, Wang Ling. It is
CHINA COMES TO YOU 17
good that you walk always in the straight and narrow path that
your worthy ancestors may always be proud of you; aye, and
your honorable parents, also. And now, Brother God of the
Kitchen, I am sure that Sing Ling will always remember to
show respect to the teachings of Confucius and his worthy
ancestors.
KITCHEN GOD : I hope so. Come then, we must hie us back ere
the break of dawn, or else you might wake up before the dream
is over, even before we leave the Sun God's castle. (They
mount their steeds and start to canter away as the curtain goes
down.)
SCENE 3
SETTING: The same as Scene 1. Early in the morning.
AT RISE: SING LING is asleep on the pallet. The KITCHEN GOD
sits in his frame with the dragon.
SING LING (Sits up very straight as the temple bells ring, rubs his
eyes, and then prostrates himself before the KITCHEN GOD) : I
must have been dreaming, but what a dream! I must take care
never to displease him again. (Enter WANG LING.)
WANG LING: What in the world are you doing?
SING LING (Gets up quickly) : Nothing. Just saying prayers,
that's all.
WANG LING: To him? Ho, ho! But you are awake early. What's
the matter? Did your conscience prick you?
SING LING : No. I haven't even been asleep. Neither have you.
WANG LING: I haven't? Well, I've been in a state of blissful
unconsciousness then.
SING LING: How did you like the trip to the Sun God's castle?
WANG LING (Goes over to him and feels of his forehead) : You
must be feverish. Whatever are you talking about? I took no
trip.
18
CHINA COMES TO YOU
SING LING: But Wang, we went to the Sun God's castle riding
on lions. Remember?
WANG LING (Laughs heartily) : Are you sure the lions didn't
eat us up, too? I guess I didn't have the same dream as you.
SING LING: Well, perhaps it was a dream. Ah, well, it is best
always to do what is right and not bring disgrace upon the name
of our honorable parents. I am going to return the pin to
Dorothy. I suppose it is hers.
WANG LING: That is a most excellent conclusion, honorable
brother. And see (As he looks out the door), here comes
Dorothy now. (DOROTHY enters.)
DOROTHY : Good morning, Sing and Wang Ling. Have you found
my pin? My father told me I might come over and find out.
SING LING (Takes pin from the folds of his clothing) : Is this
your pin, Dorothy ?
DOROTHY: Oh, yes! I am so glad that you have found it. You
shall be my friends forever and ever. (She takes two little
American flag pins from her pocket and pins them on the boys.)
See, I shall give you these as a token of my friendship and as
token of the friendship of all the American children everywhere
for you.
SING LING: Thank you, honorable little daughter of the Ameri-
can missionary. I am very happy. (They bow low to her, and
she curtsies, to them as the curtain falls.)
THE END
WHAT'S A PENNY?
by Karin Asbrand
Characters
SEVEN CHILDREN
THRIFT
MR. PIGGY
AT RISE: FIVE CHILDREN skip in on stage from right and go to
center. Each carries a penny.
FIRST CHILD:
I have got a penny.
I wonder what to buy,
A lollypop, a pickle,
Or a piece of apple pie.
SECOND CHILD:
I have got a penny, too,
My Grandma gave to me.
I am going to spend it
On the first nice thing I see.
THIRD CHILD (Shows penny) :
I found me a penny
Right there on the street. (Points.)
I am going to spend it
On a very special treat.
FOURTH CH^LD (Shows penny) :
See my shiny penny.
It looks so bright and new.
I am going to spend it
On something special, too.
FIFTH CHILD:
I, too, have got a penny,
So shiny bright and new. (Shows it.)
And when you go and spend yours
19
20 WHAT'S A PENNY?
I'll go and spend mine, too.
(Enter THRIFT right and goes to center of stage.)
THRIFT (To the CHILDREN) :
Why do you spend your pennies ?
Just think what they would do
If you would put them in the bank,
They'd pile right up for you.
FIRST CHILD (With a shrug) :
Aw, what's a penny?
SECOND CHILD (Scornfully) :
It's just a cent!
THIRD CHILD (Looks at penny) :
It's so very small
FOURTH CHILD:
It might as well be spent.
FIFTH CHILD:
Nobody can stop me
From spending my penny
(Thoughtfully) :
But when I have spent it
I won't have any.
(Enter right, two CHILDREN with piggy banks.)
SIXTH CHILD:
Five pennies make a nickel
And if you give them time
And let them add each other up,
Ten pennies make a dime.
SEVENTH CHILD:
And so we save our pennies
In our piggy banks each day.
Mine is very full and fat.
I like him best that way.
(They both jingle their banks to the tune of "Yankee Doodle/'
one shake to the first beat in each measure, and sing.)
SIXTH AND SEVENTH CHILDREN :
A piggy bank is your best friend.
If you just save each penny
In no time you can add them up.
And find that you have many.
(While they are singing MR. PIGGY enters left, jauntily, and
goes to center.)
WHAT'S A PENNY? 21
MR. PIGGY (Bows) :
Yes, I am Mr. Piggy.
Some call me Piggy Bank,
And as a penny saver
In the first class I rank.
I have a monstrous appetite.
I don't like to be thin.
I'm waiting every day for you
To drop your pennies in.
I do not sneeze at nickels.
Oinki Oink! I like dimes, too.
So any money that you get
I'll gladly keep for you.
And when I'm full to bursting
How rich you all will be
If you have put your money
Each day inside of me.
(Bows low again, says "Oink! Oink!" and goes to left.)
FIRST CHILD :
I haven't any piggy bank.
SIXTH CHILD:
Then here is mine for you. (Hands over hers.)
SECOND CHILD:
I haven't got one either.
SEVENTH CHILD (Handing hers over) :
Here's mine then. Will it do?
FIRST CHILD:
Oh, thank you. I will save and save.
It really sounds like fun
To put coins in a piggy bank
When all is said and done.
SECOND CHILD :
I'll start to feed the piggy bank
With my nice shiny penny.
It makes a lovely jingling noise (Shakes bank.)
Especially when there are many.
THIRD CHILD:
I will add my penny, too. (Drops hers in.)
22 WHAT'S A PENNY?
I'm sure it will be fun
To save a lot of pennies,
And then count them, every one.
FOURTH CHILD (Drops her penny in bank) :
We'll feed you, Mr. Piggy Bank,
You may be sure of that
Because you look much better
When you are full and fat.
FIFTH CHILD (Drops her penny in bank) :
If I can't spend my penny
I will not even holler
For a hundred little pennies
Will make a paper dollar.
THRIFT:
That is what I like to hear
And what I like to see,
For I am Thrift, your loyal friend,
So stick right close to me.
MR. PIGGY (Pats his. chest) :
It makes me very happy
To know you'll feed me well.
We hope you've all enjoyed
The things we've had to tell.
(They all sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle," jingling the
banks in time to the music.)
ALL:
It makes a very lovely noise;
Jingle, jangle, jingle;
Pennies dropped by girls and boys ;
Jingle, jangle, jingle.
What's a penny? Don't you know?
It's a good beginning
To a big fat bank account
That you will soon be winning.
THRIFT :
And so this little story ends
As little stories do.
We hope you'll all get piggy banks
And fill them, all of you.
THE END
THE DULCE MAN
by Catherine Blanton
Characters
JULIO, a young boy
JUANA, his sister
CARMELITA, their beautiful older sister
PEDRITO, the dulce man, in love with Carmelita
JOSE, the bullfighter, also in love with Carmelita
VILLAGERS, VENDERS and SINGER
SCENE 1
SETTING: The placita of a small pueblo in Mexico.
TIME: Early morning.
AT RISE : JULIO and JUANA are sitting on the floor upstage.
JULIO (Counting change from one pile to the other) : Uno, dos,
tres —
JUANA : Cinco, seis, siete —
JULIO : Ocho —
JUANA (Louder) : And quince.
JULIO (Triumphantly) : And vienticinco.
JUANA (Jumping to her feet) : Vienticinco ! So much money,
Julio!
JULIO (Rattles money in hand) : Almost a pocketful.
JUANA : But what are you going to do with so much money, Julio?
JULIO (Leans close and whispers loudly) : I'm going to spend
every single bit for dulces.
JUANA : Dulces ! But, Julio, that is so much money. What would
the grandmama think?
JULIO: She won't care. Didn't she give it to me for my saint's
day to spend as I wish? (Pauses and looks at the money in his
hand.) Never have I had all the dulces I wanted. And now,
23
24 THE DULCE MAN
little sister, you and I are going to have the best that Pedrito has
on his table.
JUANA (Excitedly) : Ooooh ! I hope he has some with chocolate
today.
JULIO (Looking about) : I wish he'd hurry and come.
JUANA : He's late.
JULIO : Sure on the day I have money to spend. (Gets up and look-
ing again at the money in his hands, drops the coins into his
pocket.) Come on, let's see if we can find him. (They run about
as if looking through the trees.)
PEDRITO (Offstage): Dulces! Dukes! Fresh dulces! Who'll buy
my dulces? Straight from the kitchen of Pedrito.
JULIO : Here he comes.
JUANA : I can hardly wait.
PEDRITO (Comes on stage carrying table on head) : Buenos dias,
Julio. And Juana. You are like the birds out so early.
Juuo: It is you who are late, Pedrito.
PEDRITO: Is it so? (Smiling) But today I make the very special
candy. (Sets table on floor. Children anxiously peep under the
white caver of table, but PEDRITO makes no effort to lift it.)
JUANA: Really!
JULIO: Fine! For today we have the money to buy.
PEDRITO (Dreamily) : Yes, today I make the very special candy.
All night my heart keeps saying "Pedrito, tomorrow you make
the good dulce and perhaps the lovely Carmelita will smile at you
and then — (Draws a deep breath) then maybe your heart will
be brave to give it to her."
JULIO (Disgusted) : Caramba! Carmelita does not need the candy.
It is I who want to buy.
PEDRITO: Buy? Oh, si, you have a few centavos to spend? That
is nice. (Takes cloth from table. Children lean over excitedly
and pick up various pieces, showing them to one another.
PEDRITO picks up a large piece in shape of heart and holds it up '
admiringly.) Here is the piece I made for Carmelita. Will she
not like it? ( JULIO holds up candy to JUANA.)
JUANA (Shakes head) : No, I don't like that.
PEDRITO (Surprised) : But does the lovely Carmelita not like good
dulce?
JULIO (Disgustedly) : No. No.
PEDRITO (Going off into rapture) : Sometimes it seems I must die
THE DULCE MAN 25
if she doesn't smile at me. She is like the angel in the church.
And I, and I — cannot even speak to her.
(JULIO and JUANA look at one another, then PEDRITO. JULIO
points to his head then at PEDRITO. JUANA shakes her head and
points to her heart.)
JULIO (Nods his head) : Then if you love Carmelita, why don't
you say so, Pedrito? Tell her.
PEDRITO: Oh, it is not so easy. The words, they do not come.
(Swallows nervously) In fact, they do not come at all. And my
hands. I do not know what to do with them.
JUANA: Why don't you serenade her like Jose, the bullfighter?
JULIO : Sure ! You could do that. Then you wouldn't have to talk.
PEDRITO (Throws out hands helplessly) : But, alas, the Pedrito
does not play the guitar and his voice sounds like the singing
of the little burro.
JULIO: Well, that is too bad. But Juana and I want to buy our
dulces.
PEDRITO (Unheeding) : Such a coward I am. I shall never be
able to tell my love to Carmelita.
JULIO: Can we buy all these dulces for twenty-five centavos?
(Points to the various pieces.)
PEDRITO: Dulces? Eh? Oh, why, sure, for the little brother and
sister of Carmelita I would sell much for the centavos. (JuLio
excitedly takes up the candy, handing some to JUANA. They taste
it hungrily.)
JUANA: Well, pay him, Julio.
JULIO (Smiling) : I most forgot. (Reaches into his pocket. Slow-
ly the smile fades from his face. He begins more frantically to
search through his pockets.)
JUANA: Can't you find the money, Julio? (JUANA starts looking
in his pockets. Then PEDRITO. They pull strings, top, balls,
spoon, colored handkerchiefs, boxes, etc., from pockets. JULIO
reaches his hand in and pulls out a mouse.)
PEDRITO (Laughs) : What? Another mouse? Do they grow in
your pockets, Julio?
JULIO: No, but this one is the best I've had yet, Pedrito. He's
really good. He can sing.
PEDRITO: Ho! A singing mouse. Que cosa!
JUANA (Seriously) : It's a good thing you didn't put the dulces
in the pocket or he would have eaten them up. (A startled ex-
26 THE DULCE MAN
pression comes to her face) Do - do you suppose the little rat6n
might have eaten the money?
JULIO (Holds mouse by tail and shakes vigorously. Suddenly the
mouse slips from his fingers and is gone) : He's gone ! ( JULIO
and JUANA run about as if chasing the mouse. PEDRITO looks
on and sometimes helps.)
JUANA : He's gone, Julio. There's no use looking any more. It's
better to try to find the money and pay for the dulces.
JULIO (Almost in tears) : But I know el ratdn ate the money and
now we'll have to give back the dulces. And they did taste so
good.
PEDRITO (Covers the table) : Ah, that is all right. I think you
have only dropped the money on the grass. You will find it
sometime. Give it to me then. (Puts table on head) Adios.
(Slowly goes off stage after making effort to sell to women at
fountain, etc. JULIO and JUANA again sit down in first position
and eat the candy.)
JUANA : Mmmmmm, isn't it delicioso, mi Julio ?
JULIO : I wish I could have this every day and every day.
JUANA : Do you really think you're going to get filled?
JULIO: Hmmm, that's hard to tell. Seems I'm empty for candy
right down to my toes. (Holds up bare feet.) And that's a long
ways.
JUANA : I bet nobody can make such good candy as our Ped —
(Stops, startled. Leans toward JULIO) Julio! If Pedrito, the
dulce man, should marry Carmelita, he — he would really be
ours then.
JULIO (Sits up straight) : And all his dulces would be ours.
JUANA : That would be much better than having that Jose for a
brother.
JULIO : Of course it would.
JUANA: But Pedrito is such a funny man. He is afraid of our
Carmelita.
JULIO: Huh! I am too sometimes. (Jumps to his feet) Come,
let's look again for that mouse. (While they are looking, CAR-
MELITA enters right, carries large stone jar.)
CARMELITA: And what are the muchachos hunting? (JUANA
starts to speak, but JULIO stops her with fingers on lips.)
JULIO: Es nada! Nada! ( JULIO and JUANA follow CARMELITA
toward fountain.)
THE DULCE MAN 27
JULIO (Hands CARMELITA a piece of candy) : Do you like Ped-
rito's dulce?
CARMELITA: Of course, I like it
JUANA: Wouldn't you like to have some every day?
CARMELITA: Que cosa! Such children.
JUANA: Don't you think the dulce man is nice?
CARMELITA (Looks at her closely) : What are you talking about,
Juana?
JULIO (Hesitatingly) : He loves you.
JUANA (Hurriedly) : He told us.
JULIO : He is afraid to tell you.
CARMELITA (Tosses her head proudly and laughs) : He is a silly
old clown. All he can do is go around saying, "Dukes, dulces,
who'll buy my dulces?" Who would want such a husband?
What a sweetheart ! Afraid to tell you he loves you. Now me,
I prefer the brave Jose. He is not afraid of anything. Does he
not send me the love letters? But your Pedrito — what does he
do ? Stands about looking like the barnyard calf. No, give me a
brave matador like my Jose. (JuLio and JUANA reluctantly
again start hunting for the mouse and CARMELITA goes to the
fountain.)
CARMELITA (Starts back with filled jar) : Julio, what are you
looking for?
JUANA: He's looking for the money the grandmama gave him.
(The messenger, out of breath, comes on stage.)
MESSENGER: Senorita, Senorita Carmelita! Here is a letter that
only now came on the bus. (Slowly reads over the address)
Senorita Carmelita Reyes, San Miguel, Mexico. It is for you —
(Excitedly) and from the bullfighter.
CARMELITA (Grabs envelope) : Here, give it to me. (Everyone
waits expectantly while she opens and scans the page.)
MESSENGER: What does it say, Senorita?
CARMELITA (Proudly) : He's coming.
VILLAGERS: The bullfighter is coming here?
CARMELITA: Certainly. He's coming to see me.
IST VILLAGER: It is not often the great Jose visits our pueblo.
28 THE DULCE MAN
2ND VILLAGER : We should have a fiesta for him.
VILLAGERS (In chorus) : Bravo, a fiesta for the brave Jose ! (All
start off stage as curtain lowers.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE : VILLAGERS and VENDERS are decorating the placita with
flags, bunting and flowers. CARMELITA primps, keeping an eye
out for JOSE. JULIO and JUANA are hunting for the mouse and
getting in everyone's way. PEDRITO stands to the left, upstage,
with table before him.
JULIO (Loud whisper to PEDRITO) : We have not found the
money, Pedrito.
JUANA : And the candy is all gone.
PEDRITO (Shrugs shoulders) : It does not matter, mi muchachos.
Ah, nothing matters now. The handsome Jose comes and Car-
melita will never smile at me. Why do I have to be such a
coward? Why would my tongue not speak what my heart was
saying?
JULIO: You have lost Carmelita and I have lost my mouse. He
was such a clever one, too.
PEDRITO (Mooning) : And so beautiful. There will never be an-
other like her.
JULIO : It could have learned many tricks and I might have made
much money with such a mouse.
JUANA: Stop being so foolish, Julio. You know there are many
mice in the kitchen. And one is as good as another. And as for
you, Pedrito, you are very stupid. Carmelita is sometimes cross
and angry and then you forget how pretty she is. ( JULIO and
PEDRITO look unbelieving, but help with the decorations.)
THE DULCE MAN 29
MESSENGER (Runs on stage) : He's coming. Jose, the bullfighter,
is coming. (Everyone acts excited. CARMELITA hurriedly primps,
but is indifferent to JOSE when he appears.)
VILLAGERS: Buenas tardes! Viva! Jose!
JOSE (Makes grand entrance. Bows from waist with hat in hand) :
Senoras — senors — (Turns to CARMELITA) Senorita! You do
the Jose much honor.
IST VILLAGER: We are proud to have the great matador visit our
pueblo.
VILLAGERS : Bravo, for the brave matador. ( JOSE bows again.)
JULIO (Runs to JOSE) : Please, Senor Jose, tell us of your fights.
JUANA: Yes! Please, senor. Were you ever afraid?
JOSE: What? The great Jose afraid? (Throws back head proudly)
That is a joke. The great Jose is afraid of nothing.
CARMELITA (Comes forward) : Please Jose. We are waiting.
JOSE (Bows to CARMELITA) : Of course, for you, senorita.
VILLAGERS: Bravo! Bravo! Tell us of your fights. (They sit or
stand in semi-circle. All listen attentively.)
JOSE : Ah, it is the narrow escapes I have had. But no bull is go-
ing to frighten the great Jose. (Tweaks C-.RMELITA on chin)
No, Senorita. Nothing frightens me. Why, the last time I was
in the ring I faced the meanest bull in all of Mexico.
VILLAGERS : In all of Mexico !
JOSE : Already that torote had killed three men on the rancho.
VILLAGERS: Three men on the rancho!
JOSE : Yes, he was a match for me. Around and around the ring
we went. (Wjaves cape or serape in demonstration.) The crowd
was screaming with excitement. El Torote came closer and
closer. His breath was on my face.
JULIO (Sitting right upstage with JUANA, suddenly points finger
towards JOSE'S feet. Screams.) : The mouse ! ( JOSE freezes. Then
starts running among frightened villagers. Finally makes exit.
VILLAGERS run about excitedly. Women grab skirts and climb
up on benches, etc. JULIO and JUANA are in and out among
them.)
JULIO : Catch him, Juana. There he goes.
CARMELITA (Runs screaming, finally jumps to top of fountain.
Wavers as if about to fall in) : Jose ! Help me ! My Jose ! The
mouse it is coming toward me. Save me !
PEDRITO (Runs to CARMELITA) : Cannelita ! (Jumps up by her
30 THE DULCE MAN
side and takes her in his arms.) Carmelita, my darling.
CARMELITA: Oh, mi Pedrito!
4TH VILLAGER: Where is Jose? (VILLAGERS look for JOSE.)
IST VILLAGER: He is gone.
2ND VILLAGER: The great and brave matador has run away.
(Gradually the VILLAGERS leave the stage.)
PEDRITO: Ah, Carmelita, my little dove. For the many months
my arms have cried to hold you. (Holds out his arms.) See how
strong they are. Always will they protect and keep you safe.
CARMELITA (Looks at him admiringly) : Ah, Pedrito.
PEDRITO (Gives her an awkward kiss) : There, how do you like
that?
CARMELITA: Ah, Pedrito, you are wonderful. Your kisses are like
your dulce.
PEDRITO: Then, senorita, have another. (Kisses her again. JULIO
and JUANA come running up to them with the mouse hanging
by its tail in JULIO'S hand.)
JULIO : I've found him, Pedrito. (Fondles the mouse) Do you
want to hear him sing?
CARMELITA : No ! No ! Take him away. Pedrito —
PEDRITO: There, there, my love, I will protect you.
JUANA: We found the mouse, Pedrito, but we did not find the
money. What about the dulces?
PEDRITO (Waves hand generously) : Es nada, nada. Forget.
There is my table. Take all you want.
JULIO: Honest?
JUANA: Really!
PEDRITO: Si, si! (As an afterthought) And give el rat6n some.
But leave Carmelita and me alone. We have much (Embar-
rassed pause), well, much business to talk about. (Helps CAR-
MELITA down and they go off stage, arm in arm, with her head
on his shoulder. JULIO and JUANA look after them in amaze-
ment.)
JUANA: Why, the dulce man is going to be ours after all.
JULIO : And — and all because of the little mouse.
JUANA (Pulls JULIO toward table) : Hurry, I'm hungry.
JULIO (Picks up candy heart intended for CARMELITA) : Here,
let's give this to el ratdn. He deserves it.
THE END
THE TALENT TREE
by Thelma Lucille Brown
Characters
SUNDOWN, the peddler
BOBBINS, a boy of ten
ART
WHISTLER
CULINARY ART
GARDENER
TIME : Any time ago.
SETTING: A woods.
AT RISE: SUNDOWN is sleeping under a pile of leaves left.
BOBBINS stands right looking up at the sky. He is tired and
frightened.
BOBBINS (Calling entreatingly to Skylark who has flown away
and left him) : Come back! Come back! (SUNDOWN stirs under
the leaves.) Come back!
SUNDOWN (Throws off leaves and sits up, blinking at BOBBINS) :
Well, bless my brother in the moon.
BOBBINS (Startled) : Oh! I thought I was alone.
SUNDOWN (Gets up grumbling) : Done in the time it takes to
turn round twice. (Moves to go.)
BOBBINS: Please don't go— that is, not yet. I believe I'm lost.
SUNDOWN (Brushing leaves from his clothes) : Lost ! A big fel-
low like you ! Now that's a fine — a fine trick of the wind.
BOBBINS (Puzzled) : Trick of the wind?
SUNDOWN: A fine kettle of— kettle of katydids. A fine how
are you.
31
32 THE TALENT TREE
BOBBINS (Chuckling) : You're a funny fellow. (Looks at him
closely.) Haven't I seen you somewhere before? (Moves
closer, peering at him.) I know. You're Sundown, the peddler.
SUNDOWN: Quite right. A little left of right but quite right.
And I know you. Master Bobbins. Penury Lane. Village of
Meekville. Father mends shoes.
BOBBINS: Exactly right. You pass through our village every
night.
SUNDOWN : Round about sundown. That's how I got my name.
BOBBINS: I don't know what you're doing here, Mr. — er —
Sundown, but I'm looking for buried talents. Do you know
where they're found?
SUNDOWN: Tie a knot in the rainbow! And what makes you
think I would know where the talents are buried?
BOBBINS: I don't know. I guess because you're such a quaint
fellow. It's like you belong to another world.
SUNDOWN (Pretending anger) : Now then, young sir, now then !
What do you see that's quaint about me?
BOBBINS: I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings. It's the way you
talk, the funny things you say. And the things you sell.
SUNDOWN: The things I sell? Perhaps it's the singing whirligig
you admired or the package of Darning Needle Darts. The
ladies like my special jar of Summer Night and the masque of
Wild Rose Blush.
BOBBINS : And then the way you come and go through the village.
First you're nowhere around then, very suddenly, there you are.
It's like magic.
SUNDOWN : If a toadstool's an umbrella. Who brought you here ?
BOBBINS : Lark brought me. I was searching his field. I thought
the talents might be buried there.
SUNDOWN : I thought so. That tattler, Lark ! Boil his song and
roast his feathers, he never could keep a secret. So he told
you where to find me.
BOBBINS : Not exactly. He sang me a song and I followed him.
SUNDOWN : Did his song go like this :
Round about Sundown every night
Far from lazy people's sight
Talents play in the deepening light?
BOBBINS : Not exactly. It was more like this :
Master Bobbins follow me
THE TALENT TREE 33
I'll guide you to the talent tree
Two leagues left and three to the right
Round about Sundown every night
Talents play in darkening light.
SUNDOWN : That rascal, Lark. He changes his words, but never
his tune.
BOBBINS : It is you he meant ! The talents dance around you !
SUNDOWN: Tie his beak and hang him to a sunflower! So he
brought you here and flew off home.
BOBBINS (Eagerly) : Is it true, Mr. Sundown? Do you know
where the talents are?
SUNDOWN: They are buried talents. Buried deep. But I can
bring them out — that is with the help of the Talent Tree.
BOBBINS : Lark mentioned the Talent Tree.
SUNDOWN : And there it is.
BOBBINS (Looking up at it) : It's a queer looking tree.
SUNDOWN : That is because it's mostly roots and heart.
BOBBINS (Touching the tree with his hand) : Why do you call it
the Talent Tree?
SUNDOWN: It seeks out lonely talents with its roots, gives them
nourishment and keeps them safe in its heart.
BOBBINS : And you can bring them out. Will you show me how,
Mr. Sundown?
SUNDOWN : It all depends. Just like the weather — it all depends.
BOBBINS: Please, Mr. Sundown, depends on what? I'd do any-
thing to find a talent.
SUNDOWN (Sits down on rock left and takes a flute from his
pocket) : Depends on what you want it for. Now what would
you do with a talent?
BOBBINS : Oh, if I had a talent I'd do anything for it. I'd work for
it. Pd work hard for it.
SUNDOWN : As the stars come out and the moon is bright, I be-
lieve you would. Well, then, Master Bobbins, what kind of a
talent would you like?
BOBBINS : Oh, just a little one. Any one.
SUNDOWN: Buried talents are talents other people don't want,
you know.
BOBBINS: That's just it. If I could have just one— the littlest one.
SUNDOWN : Talents expect to grow. You have to feed them.
BOBBINS: Feed them?
34 THE TALENT TREE
SUNDOWN : Take care of them. I can bring them out because I
have something to give them.
BOBBINS : I'd do anything. I'd work for one, but I haven't much
to give.
SUNDOWN : If you give all you have, no talent could ask more.
Now what I've got is a kind of charm. I use it to call the
talents. See this?
BOBBINS: It's a flute, isn't it?
SUNDOWN (Caressing it) : An instrument. Do you know what
music is?
BOBBINS: I've heard the lark. (SUNDOWN imitates the song of
the lark on his flute.) That's it! That's his song!
SUNDOWN : This instrument knows all songs.
BOBBINS (Looking up at the sky) : It's around sundown.
SUNDOWN : So it is and we can't keep talents waiting. Sit down,
Master Bobbins, sit down. (Plays a few introductory notes.)
I'll call the talents, one at a time. There's a song for each.
BOBBINS : I'm beginning to feel nervous. Suppose none of them
likes me?
SUNDOWN : Spin a star and touch the moon, there's nothing to be
nervous about. Talents are mighty particular, but these are
lonely, too. When you see one you like just try it on. (Begins
to play. ART steps out from behind the Talent Tree, stretches
and looks about her.)
SUNDOWN (Stops playing) : Here's a talent, Master Bobbins,
everyone admires.
ART:
Yes, I am a talent admired by all,
But the lad I belonged to preferred football,
A sissy gift was his decree,
So deep in the earth he buried me.
(Moves to back of stage.)
SUNDOWN: There's a fine big talent gone to waste. (Takes up
his flute.) This one you'll like. (Plays. WHISTLER, a little
fellow, comes from behind the treef sidles up to SUNDOWN and
stands bashfully digging the earth with his toe.) Hi, there,
young fellow. Whistle us a tune. (To BOBBINS) Whistler
doesn't talk much. Bashful is the trouble. (WHISTLER imi-
tates bird calls. SUNDOWN tries some on his flute and they forget
THE TALENT TREE 35
BOBBINS in their enthusiasm. BOBBINS jumps up and moves
toward them.)
BOBBINS (To WHISTLER) : I like you. May I try you, please?
(WHISTLER nods and grins happily. BOBBINS braces himself,
puckers out his lips and tries unsuccessfully to copy one of
WHISTLER'S imitations. SUNDOWN laughs. BOBBINS sits down,
crestfallen, and WHISTLER, disappointed, sits on the ground
with his back against SUNDOWN'S rock.)
SUNDOWN (Giving WHISTLER an encouraging pat) : Funny thing
about this young fellow. Belonged to a country lad that liked
him well enough until he moved to the city. Found too much
else to do and buried him. Ashamed of his talent, I always
maintained. Thought it gave him a countrified air and carry
me off on a humming-bird's trill if there's a finer talent any-
where. Well, cheer up. We'll try another. (Plays. POET
with a notebook and pencil skips out, reaches out her arms,
breathes in the fresh air hungrily and recites.)
POET:
I'm a very unfortunate subject of the muse,
I was given to a girl I couldn't use,
She buried me in a musty book,
I preferred a shady nook,
Sunlight and starlight, a wide, wide sky,
A singing brook, a lazy wind's sigh,
Hills that echo a morning bird's tune,
And love in the light of a summer moon
And love in the candlelight of the moon.
(She sits down under the tree. SUNDOWN plays a rollicking
tune and ACROBAT comes tumbling out.)
SUNDOWN : Try this one, Master Bobbins. Here's a lively talent
to be buried. (ACROBAT tries to teach BOBBINS some of his
tricks, but he flops miserably each time. ACROBAT tumbles to
the back of the stage and sprawls on his back stretching arms
and legs joyfully. SUNDOWN plays and CULINARY ART appears.
SUNDOWN smacks his lips. Talents watch him eagerly.)
CULINARY ART:
Can you imagine! A talent like me
Neglected for party and social tea!
With me my mistress might have been
The very finest cook in the land,
36 THE TALENT TREE
Cakes and puddings, parfaits and russe,
Savory curries and sauce for the goose,
Sweetmeats — number them if you can —
Every delectable known to man
Perfection in every touch of her hand.
(Sorrowfully)
But she buried me. All I got was abuse.
For so humble a talent, she had little use.
(CULINARY ART and BOBBINS exchange wistful glances. CULI-
NARY ART shakes his head and takes a place at the back of the
stage.)
SUNDOWN : Ginger pie and marigold jell. That's a talent I'd like
right well. (Takes up his flute and plays. GARDENER, a small
boy in overalls with garden tools slung across his back hops OUT
from behind the tree on one foot, rubs the muscles of one leg,
exercises it and stretches his arms as though lame from inac-
tivity. He blinks at the light, nods unhappily to SUNDOWN, sees
BOBBINS and runs to him.) Well, carve me a window in the
sky, young Master Bobbins, if Gardener hasn't found a home.
Takes to you like a cricket to a kettle.
GARDENER: So you've come for me, Bobbins. I thought you
never would.
SUNDOWN: Quarter past blue and ten tonight. It's your own
talent, young sir, and buried deepest of any of them.
BOBBINS (Excitedly): Are you sure, Mr. Sundown? I don't
believe I had a talent.
GARDENER : I'm yours all right if you'll put me to work. We're
supposed to be the makings of a great naturalist, Bobbins.
While you've been idling under the trees we might have been
making gardens grow.
BOBBINS: May I take him home, Mr. Sundown? May I take
him home?
SUNDOWN: Ho, you like him, do you?
BOBBINS : Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. He's just the one. Why, he's
the best talent of all.
SUNDOWN: Well, build me a house of honey and rice. It's a
farmer you're going to be now. Then here's a tune to carry
you home. (Plays a few bars.) Just blink your eyes and you'll
be there. (Plays while curtain closes.)
THE END
A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
by Anna Curtis Chandler
Characters
CHORUS
CHOW WAN, wife of WANG CHIH
WANG CHIH, laborer in the rice fields
Ho-SEEN-Ko \ children of CHOW WAN
HAN CHUNG J and WANG CHIH
PROPERTY MAN
THREE OLD MEN OF THE MOUNTAINS
WHITE CRANE
DRAGON
OLD WOMAN
OTHER VILLAGERS in procession
MUSICIANS
SETTING : Village in China. Open space surrounded by houses and
rice fields.
AT RISE: MUSICIANS, seated on platform, holding cymbals.
Throughout play, cymbals are struck three times whenever name
of Emperor, "Son of Heaven" Honorable Ancestors, and Celes-
tial China are mentioned. Enter CHORUS. He walks to center,
downstage, bows right, left and center, with dignity.
CHORUS (Ceremoniously) : Most Honorable Friends, I am about
to tell you a story of the Celestial Land of China, dealing with
family life, with strange old men of the mountains, with a ter-
rible Dragon, and a kindly Being who dwells in the moon and
reaches out his hand to aid the sufferers on the earth. Listen
well with your ears, pretend well with the eyes of your imagina-
tion, and you will find yourselves in the Celestial Land of China
in the time of our Honorable Ancestors. My Property Man,
invisible to your eyes, will assist you. Chow Wan, the gentle
wife of our hero, Wang Chih, now appears before you. (Bows
three times, sits center.)
37
38 A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
CHOW WAN (Enters shyly, from right, followed closely by Ho-
SEEN-KO and HAN CHUNG) : Gentle listeners, here in this hum-
ble one-roomed thatched cottage, I live in happiness as the hon-
orable wife of Wang Chih, a poor laborer but good, with love in
his heart for his wife and children. All day long he works in
the fields, but although he labors with his hands there is music in
his heart for at night he returns to me, Chow Wan, to his beau-
tiful little daughter. Ho-Seen-Ko, and to his beloved son, Han
Chung. Even tonight the lanterns will rival the very stars in
brightness for it is the Festival of the Lanterns. I fly within to
arrange bamboo shoots and rice-cakes as a special treat for my
honorable master. (PROPERTY MAN enters right, raises arms
to indicate door of house. CHOW WAN pantomimes stepping
over sill.)
CHORUS (Rising) : Our hero, Wang Chih, appears. (Sits)
Ho-SfiEN-Ko (Bowing low to her father) : Our Honored Father
hastens to the rice fields. Come back early tonight, oh my Hon-
ored Father, to light my lantern of crimson, bright as the flowers
that sway beneath our humble windows. (PROPERTY MAN hands
her a lantern, and gives one to HAN CHUNG, then saunters
across stage, indolently "smoking")
HAN CHUNG: My lantern awaits you too, Honored Father, a
bright one of many colors.
WANG CHIH: My little Golden Flower, Ho-Seen-Ko, and my
pretty boy, Han Chung, I shall fly from the rice fields at the close
of day to make your lanterns shine. I hasten now that I may
return the earlier. (PROPERTY MAN gives him a basket and
axe) My little flowers, my treasures, I will return just as early
as I can, so that, when the moonbeams send their yellow light,
and the stars gleam, we shall be able to join in the Procession
of the Lanterns like so many fire-flies. (Exits left.)
CHORUS (Rising) : Wang Chih now goes to the fields to work,
while other laborers come in with baskets handed them by our
Property Man. They work in the rice fields. (Sits.)
WANG CHIH (Enters, walks back and forth, basket on arm, and
axe over his shoulder) : Weary I am with my work in the fields
— and faint from lack of food, so I will take a little rest on the
mountain side, playing hide and seek with the rays of the Sun.
On my way, I will seek a tree to cut down with my axe, to make
warmth and cheer tonight at the Feast of the Lanterns for my
A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE 39
little Cherry Blossom. (PROPERTY MAN, moving indolently,
puts chair against table to represent mountain.)
CHORUS (Rises, speaking in most dignified manner, wielding Chi-
nese fan) : The honorable Wang Chih now goes up the mountain
side and peers into a deep cave in the mountains, where sit the
old men of the mountains with their long white hair and beards.
(PROPERTY MAN arranges cave under table, and OLD MEN OF
THE MOUNTAINS enter. PROPERTY MAN hands OLD MEN sweet-
meats, and slowly and indifferently unravels beards.)
WANG CHIH (Surprised; as he bends down and peers into
"cave") : Who can these venerable strangers be and what can
they be eating? It makes my hunger more terrible to bear.
OLD MAN (Winks at his companion, chuckles and speaks in
quavering voice) : Help yourself, young man ! These are deli-
cious sweetmeats.
WANG CHIH (Hesitating) : Just one of those sweetmeats which
the venerable men are eating, surely cannot hurt me. (Takes one
from PROPERTY MAN. PROPERTY MAN then puts hump on
WANG CHIH'S back, powders his hair, and WANG CHIH stoops
over. He rubs his stomach.) Oh ! How delicious it is ! Like noth-
ing which has passed my lips before, and it has taken my thirst
away ! (Ou> MEN laugh and wink at one another as they con-
tinue eating sweetmeats. PROPERTY MAN unravels their white
beards and sticks or ties one on WANG CHIH.)
CHORUS (Rising) : Wang Chih has eaten of the magic sweetmeats
and has become old — burdened by many years. (Sits.)
WANG CHIH (Peering at OLD MEN and noticing how long their
beards have grown) : Those long white beards, the signs of old
age, must be very troublesome when they grow so quickly. Their
years fall from them like the swiftly falling petals of a cherry
tree when the branch is shaken!
OLD MAN (Winking at companions and laughing) : Your wits are
dulled by hard toil, stranger ! Our beards have not grown quick-
ly. How long do you think you have been here on the mountain
side?
WANG CHIH (Sadly) : Long enough to make me late in getting
home to my little Cherry Blossoms in order to light their lan-
terns, I daresay.
OLD MEN (Laughing and pointing to sweetmeats, speak together
in old quavering voices) : An hour, a day, a week, a month, a
40 A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
year — aye, a century of years are the same to him who tastes of
these magic sweetmeats. Go down into your village and look
well with your eyes ! (WANG CHIH picks up axe, which crum-
bles; hobbles down chair. OLD MEN stay in place; play game and
eat sweetmeats.)
CHORUS (Standing in center) : Wang Chih, now grown old, goes
down into his village calling sadly to his wife and children.
WANG CHIH (Sadly, holding out his arms as he walks back and
forth) : My glorious Chow Wan, and my little Treasures, Ho-
Seen-Ko and Han Chung!
CHORUS (Solemnly) : Wang Chih now reaches his village and
finds that all is changed. Tis the time when day meets night
with a flash of colors across the sky. The fireflies will soon be
gleaming like rare starflowers. The august Wang Chih sees no
familiar face for all is changed, and many new thatched cottages
are builded. (He sits. People enter from right and move to and
fro, looking at WANG CHIH without recognition. PROPERTY
MAN makes his beard grow longer, as he grows more bent, and
trembles. He approaches bent old woman. MUSICIANS strike
gongs three times.)
WANG CHIH: Most Honorable Mother, may the Celestial Gods
rain blessings upon your path. Will you, perchance, unfold the
mystery which clouds my mind and tell me of the family of
Wang Chih, the laborer in the rice fields?
OLD WOMAN (Holds up hands in astonishment, speaks in trem-
bling voice) : Wang Chih? Venerable Father, Wang Chih and
his humble family have been gone for many years ; they are but
shadows of the past. They are among our Ancestors. Tonight,
when the moonbeams send forth their yellow rays, the Festival
of the Lanterns will be held. Watch well the figures who come
last in the procession, for you will find a woman dressed to rep-
resent Chow Wan, wife of Wang Chih, carrying a rice bowl;
and two children dressed to represent his little ones whom he
left so long ago on the morning of the Feast of the Lanterns.
He was spirited away by the Old Men of the Mountains. As
' each year passes we do this to teach our children to be kind to
the poor and the fatherless. (WANG CHIH stands there sadly,
OLD WOMAN and rest of procession exit left.)
CHORUS (Rising) : The sky darkens, the stars peer through, and
the fireflies, star flowers all, flit here and there hunting for the
A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE 41
Emperor. For each firefly is the tear of a beautiful moon-prin-
cess, shed when she was drawn back to the moon and compelled
to leave the Emperor and his love. Tis the flowery and spark-
ling way of a perfect evening. The perfume of fragrant flowers
fills the air ! The Festival of the Lanterns begins ! (Enter pro-
cession, with figures of CHOW WAN, HAN CHUNG awf HO-SEEN-
Ko at end. WANG CHIH looks at them sadly, and they look at
him with curiosity.) Wang Chih with sorrow-heavy feet goes
back to the mountain. A storm breaks, the wind shakes the
branches of the swaying trees, and the rain bathes the earth.
(PROPERTY MAN whistles for wind, sprinkles water from bot-
tle.) But just as the Celestial Sun changes the mountain top into
gold, Wang Chih once more reaches the cave of the Old Men of
the Mountains. (He sits. PROPERTY MAN holds up gold paper
ball, representing sun, over table. OLD MEN enter and sit in cave,
eating sweetmeats, and PROPERTY MAN unravels their beards
again. When they see WANG CHIH, they laugh in high cackles.)
WANG CHIH (Stretching out his arms pleadingly) : Oh, give me
back my lost years, my beautiful wife, and my precious children,
August Spirits of the mountains! (OLD MEN laugh again.)
ONE OLD MAN (Chuckling) : You must journey on the White
Crane's back to the Sky Dragon! Get some water from his
cavernous mouth and take it to the White Hare of the Moon,
who will mix it with the Elixir of Life. Then you will lose the
burden of your years and may return to your humble family.
Here is a bottle to catch the water from the Sky Dragon's mouth.
Now be gone and interrupt our game no more! (PROPERTY MAN
hands bottle to WANG CHIH.)
WANG CHIH : Oh, Venerable and August Fathers, where shall I
find the Sky Dragon and the White Hare of the Moon?
OLD MAN (Impatiently) : The White Hare dwells in the Moon
and the Sky Dragon in the Sky, of course, stupid fellow ! Now
leave us in peace to our sweetmeats and our game. (PROPERTY
MAN hands WANG CHIH a stick and feather for the WHITE
CRANE. WANG CHIH mounts it and pantomimes galloping or
jumping out.)
CHORUS (Rising) : Wang Chih now flies to the Sky Dragon, the
honorable monster who keeps the sky from caving in. He ap-
proaches the Sky Dragon's cave made of sky rock and surround-
ed by dried grass. (PROPERTY MAN removes WHITE CRANE.
42 A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
WANG CHIH stands in listening attitude.) The Sky Dragon bel-
lows, and also sends forth flames of fire instead of water. (He
sits. Red and white tissue paper is "blown" from SKY DRAGON'S
mouth; bellowing is heard. MUSICIANS strike gongs. WANG
CHIH draws back, then bends down and fans grass. MUSICIANS
strike gongs three times.)
WANG CHIH : Oh, my Honorable Ancestors ! How terrible is the
August Dragon ! How long are his horns ! His eyes gleam like
fire, claws he has, and glittering scales, while from his mouth,
wide as a yawning chasm, long teeth protrude. I will fan into
flame some of these sparks of fire to see whether he will not
quench them with water.
SKY DRAGON (Bellows) : O-ho — Wang Chih — I can soon put
a stop to that! (SKY DRAGON breathes "water." PROPERTY MAN
sprinkles water and WANG CHIH catches it in bottle. PROPERTY
MAN hands WANG CHIH the WHITE CRANE.)
WANG CHIH : Swift as the flight of the soaring gull I must go,
else the waters surround me. The Earth People are enjoying a
gentle rainfall, causing the thirsty flowers and bamboos to grow.
CHORUS (Rising) : Wang Chih now flies to the moon. (PROPERTY
MAN holds up gilt moon, and WHITE HARE stands on steplad-
der in front of it. PROPERTY MAN gives him a dish and a stick.)
There dwells the White Hare, a kind and generous and most
honorable being. Look well and see his white, soft fur. and
brown, kind eyes. He lives thousands of years, and is ever busy
mixing the Elixir of Life which will make all who drink it live
forever in happiness. Wang Chih arrives in the moon! (PROP-
ERTY MAN removes WHITE CRANE, which WANG CHIH has
been holding between his legs. CHORUS sits.)
WANG CHIH (Looking up at WHITE HARE) : Oh Gentle and Ce-
lestial Hare of the Moon, here in this glistening bottle is some
water from the yawning mouth of the Celestial Sky Dragon. I
pray you to mix it with the Elixir of Life, that I may have back
my treasures — my cherished wife and children. Swiftly have
the years fallen from me since I ate one of the sweetmeats of
the Venerable Men of the Mountain, and I would get back my
lost years, oh White Hare of the Moon! (PROPERTY MAN holds
arms to make a window.)
WHITE HARE (Leading WANG CHIH to window) : Look through
this window, Wang Chih, Honorable Mortal from the Earth,
A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE 43
and tell me what your eyes behold.
WANG CHIH (Looks through window and sees people moving
to and fro with lanterns) : Oh White Hare of the Moon ! I see
thatched houses, many in number, men, women and children ! It
is the time of shadows, and gay lanterns flit this way and that !
Oh White Hare of the Moon, it is the very village which has
taken the place of the old one where I dwelt many years ago in
happiness with my wife and children ! What does it all mean to
be up here in the golden moon, and yet be able to look down
upon the earth?
WHITE HARE : That is my secret, Wang Chih, Honorable Mortal
from the Earth. Many are the secrets known to me, but hidden
from mortals. (PROPERTY MAN makes another window with his
arms.) Now look through this window and tell me what you
see ! It is the window of the past.
WANG CHIH (Gazing through window — cries joyfully) : I see
my own little house — and there is my beautiful wife getting
ready rice cakes and bamboo shoots as a special treat. My little
flower, Ho-Seen-Ko, comes with her lantern, and my treasure,
Han Chung, with his ! Oh King Hare of the Moon, pray let me
go to them ! Will you not help me? (PROPERTY MAN hands bot-
tle to WHITE HARE who mixes contents with Elixir of Life, and
gives it back to PROPERTY MAN, who hands it to WANG CHIH.)
WHITE HARE : Drink each one of these crystal drops, Wang Chih,
and think of your wife and children. So will you have the power
to live in the past. (WANG CHIH drinks. PROPERTY MAN makes
window larger and larger.)
CHORUS (Rising) : The window grows larger, and steps lead to
the street below.
WANG CHIH (Bowing before HARE) : White Hare of the Moon,
may your August Presence ever cause the moon to shine, and the
hearts of mortals to rejoice! I thank you for my lost years.
(PROPERTY MAN takes away his hump, and WANG CHIH
straightens up. He steps through window made by PROPERTY
MAN'S arms, runs to meet CHOW WAN, Ho-SEEN-Ko and HAN
CHUNG, who enter right. He clasps Ho-SEEN-Ko to him.)
CHORUS : Wang Chih, our hero, once more young, returns to his
wife and his children, wiser in many things, and little Ho-Seen-
Ko wonders why he clasps her to him. (He sits.)
Ho-SEEN-Ko (Holding up lantern which PROPERTY MAN gives
44 A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
her) : You are late, oh Honorable Father ! Do hurry to light our
lanterns for us!
HAN CHUNG : The Feast of the Lanterns soon begins, oh Father !
(PROPERTY MAN hands WANG CHIH a match to light candles.
People with lanterns enter right. Then procession moves —
WANG CHIH, CHOW WAN, HAN CHUNG, Ho-SEEN-Ko, and
others, with lanterns of many colors. They march about stage
in line.)
CHORUS (Rising) : Wang Chih, with his garden of flowers, his
beautiful wife and his little plum blossoms, now joins the proces-
sion of the Feast of the Lanterns, and they dance to and fro
in the little village like so many fireflies. (MUSICIANS play.)
Most August and Honorable Friends, you may applaud my
actors as I call them before you. In turn they will thank you.
Take care that you do not applaud them too much for it will
embarrass them. I am accustomed to praise and it will not dis-
turb me. (Each actor bows, Chinese fashion, as his name is
called.) Chow Wan — the honorable wife and devoted mother.
My hero, Wang Chih. The little Plum Blossoms, Ho-Seen-Ko
and Hang Chung. The Spirits of the Mountains, the Venerable
Men. The Venerable Mother. The White Hare of the Moon,
who helps all mortals. (PROPERTY MAN holds moon over HARE'S
head.) iThe Celestial Sky Dragon. (DRAGON roars.) Laborers of
the fields. And now, quite visible to your eyes, our Property
Man. (PROPERTY MAN, smoking, shakes hands with CHORUS,
bows to audience and goes out. All bow again. MUSICIANS strike
cymbals three times.)
THE END
GREY GHOSTS
by Dorothy Denting
Characters
LEWIS GREENE, 17
ALICE GREENE, 15
JOHN GREENE, 12
DAVID FISK, young Fire Warden
MR. and MRS. GREENE (Offstage voices)
SCENE 1
SETTING: A camp in the Maine woods. A glowing camp fire in
center stage. It is evening.
AT RISE: LEWIS, ALICE and JOHN are sitting on the ground
around the campfiref toasting marshmallows.
LEWIS: I like to get my marshmallow almost black, then slip off
the toasted coat and cook the inside again — makes it last longer.
JOHN : No, that's not the way I like them. I toast them just a
teeny bit, then eat all at once. (He suits the action to the word,
putting a whole marshmallow in his mouth at once.)
ALICE: I like marshmallows all ways, even raw! (Takes one di-
rectly from box and eats it.)
JOHN: Gee! I wish this wasn't our last night camping! It's been
wonderful. The best vacation ever!
ALICE : But we've got all tomorrow, John, and tomorrow's Mount
Franklin, the highest mountain we have climbed.
LEWIS : Guess we will be plenty stiff when we climb back into the
old car tomorrow night !
ALICE: Oh, I don't know. We are in pretty good condition after
three weeks in the woods. Let me have that marshmallow,
John, it's just the way I like it. (She reaches for the marsh-
mallow JOHN is toasting.)
45
46 GREY GHOSTS
JOHN (Letting her have it grudgingly) : Thought you liked them
any way ! Thought you —
MR. GREENE (From offstage): Children, children! Time for
bed. Put away the marshmallows where the ants can't get them
and cover the campfire well. We will want the hot coals for
cooking breakfast
LEWIS (Calling) : Can I go swimming once more before turning
in? The lake's not cold.
MRS. GREENE (Offstage) : No, dear. We will all go for a dip
before breakfast tomorrow morning. Better get to bed now.
Father says you've got a hard climb ahead of you, that is, if
you want to go all the way to the top of Mount Franklin.
JOHN : You bet we do 1
ALICE : Of course ; there's a wonderful view they say !
LEWIS : All the way to the fire lookout !
ALICE: Are you and Dad going to the top?
MR. GREENE (Offstage) : Mother is going to the halfway house,
but I'll go to the summit with you.
LEWIS: Swell!
JOHN: Oh, gee, wonderful! (ALICE closes the marshmallow bo*
and tucks it into a duffle bag. JOHN goes over to his bathing suit
and takes it off the line. LEWIS covers the campfire , pretending
to pull grass over it, at the same time the light under the fire
goes out, leaving the stage quite dim.)
JOHN : Got the fire fixed O.K., Lew?
LEWIS : Yes, it will be all right now.
ALICE: Better pull that fresh wood out of the way so it won't
catch. (LEWIS putts wood to one side.)
JOHN: Well, good night 6T campin' ground! Wish I could stay
here at Beaver Lake all summer.
LEWIS: So do I! Gosh, how still it is! Look, the sky is full of
stars 1 (They all stcmd very still, looking up at the sky.)
ALICE (Softly) : The trees make a lovely pattern of lace against
the stars and how sweet the pine needles smell!
JOHN : I love pine trees ! I wish I had some in my little ol' hot
bedroom in the city !
LEWIS : Tall trees make the air lots cooler, Dad says, besides being
useful for making things.
JOHN: What things, for instance?
LEWIS: Millions of things, stupid. Houses, barns, boats, furni-
ture, telephone poles and —
GREY GHOSTS 4/
ALICE (Interrupting) : Charley McCarthy! Let's go to bed. I'm
sleepy.
LEWIS : So'm I. Come on, John.
JOHN (Taking another long look at the sky and sniffing the
breeze) : Coming. (The two boys exit left, ALICE right.)
ALICE: Good night!
LEWIS and JOHN : Good night, Sis.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: A fire warden's lookout station.
TIME: Early afternoon.
AT RISE: DAVID FISK is sitting at the table, charting. A pair of
binoculars is beside him. He uses the glasses, glances at the
clock, writes something on his chart, then sits back lazily, look-
ing out of the window* singing or humming: "Don't Fence Me
In? There is a sound of thumping as though someone were
climbing stairs. DAVE stops singing vnd looks toward the only
door in the room. ALICE'S voice is heard offstage^ panting.)
ALICE: Wait for me, boys! I'm getting all out of breath.
JOHN (Offstage) : Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty! Fifty steps up!
Gee! Tell Dad not to come. He said he was getting tired.
ALICE (Still offstage, but nearer, calling) : Dad, stay down. It's
a long flight of stairs — fifty of them.
MR. GREENE (Off) : Right! I'll stay here. The view is fine
enough for me. (There is more clattering on stairs*. DAVE closes
his chart and straightens the other papers on his table.)
JOHN (Bursting in on DAVE, panting) : Hello 1 Geel (He gases
breathless out of the window as though at a far-distant 'view.)
LEWIS (Entering not quite so out of breath, but breathing heau-
48 GREY GHOSTS
ily): Whew! Some climb. (He stops short, barely noticing
DAVE, his eyes sweeping the horizon.) Gosh all hemlock ! What
a view!
ALICE (Entering wiping her face and very much out of breath.
Falls into first chair she comes to, fans her face with her hand-
kerchief) : Whee — I'm no mountain goat. (She, too, gazes
speechless at the view, then after a pause, less breathlessly) You
wouldn't have any water to drink up here, would you? (Smil-
ing at DAVE.)
DAVE (Takes canteen from shelf / and pours out a cup of water
for ALICE. Hands it to her smiting) : Best spring water in the
State o' Maine! (To the boys) Help yourselves.
ALICE (Drinking slowly and smiling up at DAVE) : Thanks ! How
I needed that! What an utterly super view you have here!
(Stares again out of the window.)
LEWIS (Still gasing out) : Gosh all hemlock, I never saw so much
forest!
DAVE : Some hemlock, sure, but a lot of spruce, pine, balsam and
juniper! Not to mention oak, maple, birch, beech and hazel
nut. By the way, won't you sign my guest book? (He looks at
ALICE as he says this and hands her the guest book and pencil.
ALICE takes them. Moves up to table.)
ALICE: I'll sign for all of us.
JOHN: May I use your binoculars?
DAVE: Sure. Know how to adjust them?
JOHN (With the glasses at his eyes, looking off over audience) :
Yep.
LEWIS: This is my sister, Alice Greene, that's John and I'm
Lewis. What's your name?
DAVE: David Fisk. Call me Dave.
LEWIS : Glad to meet you, Dave.
ALICE (Finishing signing the guest book, turns and smiles at
DAVE) : There! We are all recorded in your book. Are you the
fire warden for this county?
DAVE: That's me! Fire Warden number 242, sector B56. I look
after about thirty square miles of one county and an even larger
area of a second county, including some dozen towns, a hundred
farms and some suipmer camps over in the lake region. (He
points off in the distance. The others follow his gesture, as
though seeking lakes in that direction.)
GREY GHOSTS 49
JOHN: What do you do all day? Read?
DAVE: No, only when the weather gets so thick I can't see but a
few yards around me! I live in the log cabin you passed on
the way up here, but I'm on duty up here during the daylight
hours. I spot fires and telephone their location to the town
nearest the smoke.
LEWIS: Do you go to the fires yourself?
DAVE: No, my job is to get the fire fighters there as fast as pos-
sible and keep on the lookout for more fires !
JOHN : Spot a fire for us now !
ALICE (Sarcastically) : Yes, Dave, please produce a fire on order !
(She and DAVE smile of each other.)
DAVE (Takes the binoculars and sweeps the horizon in a full cir-
cle.) Nope, no luck. That's luck, because the long stretch of dry
weather and the summer campers and hikers are a bad com-
bination. (He looks again in the lake region. Concentrates on
one spot and adjusts the glasses) Wait — wait a moment — I
guess I've found a fire for you, John! (He hands the glasses to
ALICE) See if you see smoke at the end of the ravine — see?
Follow the ridge of this mountain down till you see a little
white farm house, then look left over the brown field, in that
patch of woods near the lake. See a —
ALICE (Breaking in excitedly) : Yes ! Yes, I see a thin smudge of
bluish white smoke ! Look, Lewis. (Hands the glasses to LEWIS.)
LEWIS : Yes, I see it, too !
JOHN: Let me look! (Looks. Very excited) So do I! Oh boy!
What do we do now?
DAVE: That's right in the heart of the woods on Beaver Lake, a
favorite camping place for motorists. (He takes the glasses
from JOHN and looks again, talking as he focuses) Of course, it
might be a campfire being used to get lunch, but it's a little
late for that and the smoke is too scattered. We can soon tell.
(He puts down the glasses and goes to the wall map, the chil-
dren crowd around him.) See this map? It shows that section
in detail. That smoke is about here. (Indicates a spot on the
map.) It's easy to locate this fire, because it's bounded by those
woods and we are getting a clear view ; it's when it is back of
the hills that it's hard. Now let's see — (He takes the glasses
again.) Yes, that's fire, all right. I'll have to call Carpenter. (He
steps to the back of the stage to telephone.)
50 GREY GHOSTS
ALICE (Moving to front of stage and motioning to LEWIS. In a
low voice) : Lew, isn't that just about the place where we were
camped last night — on the edge of Beaver Lake?
LEWIS (Looking uncomfortable, nods) : I was thinking the same
thing.
JOHN (Taking the glasses) : Yep, that's fire all right. Smoke's
growing thicker. (DAVE comes back to the table.)
LEWIS: Dave, we camped at Beaver Lake last night and had a
campfire. We used it again this morning at breakfast, but we —
DAVE (Interrupting, sternly) : Did you soak it down well with
water this morning before you broke camp?
ALICE (Miserably) : I'm afraid we didn't. We stamped out the
flames and threw on dirt and —
JOHN (Breaking in) : I kicked the logs off and stepped on every
little 6T spark. They were out all right.
LEWIS: Honestly, I think the fire was out, Dave.
DAVE: Thinking isn't enough. You've got to be sure. (Turning
to ALICE) Where did you build your fire?
ALICE: In a clearing in the pine woods at the end of the lake.
There were no trees very near it.
DAVE (Sighing) : There ought to be a law — ! Now look, you
three, I suppose you weren't taught anything in school about
caring for campfires?
ALICE: No, never.
JOHN (Earnestly) I know how to build a good fire; you take
little dry sticks and dry leaves first, then bigger sticks and —
DAVE (Cutting in and motioning toward the direction of the fire) :
Yes, John, you build good fires, but just look — ! (All turn to
look.)
ALICE: Oh, mercy! Look at that smoke! It's spreading fast!
LEWIS : It's heading toward that little farmhouse !
DAVE (Very soberly) : Yes, the wind is in that direction.
JOHN (With glasses, cries out) : I can see cows in that field near
the farm. Will they be burned?
DAVE: Maybe, but I don't think so. My map shows a good-size
brook, which may still have a little water in it, on the edge of
the farmland, and the fire fighters ought to get there before the
flames make much more headway. I'd telephone the farm but
they have no phone.
LEWIS: How do you know?
GREY GHOSTS 51
DAVE (Smiling) : It's part of my business to know. I also know
the nearest telephone to that farmhouse is in the valley, fellow
by the name of Morse. But look, you campers, never build a
fire on dry pine needles, dry leaves or grass. The fire will eat
down into and around the dry material and after smoldering
for hours burst into flame. Try to build on wet cleared ground,
good old dirt, sand or best of all, rock. In dry weather build
near a brook or lake where you can get the ground well soaked
with water and never leave a fire without drenching it with pails
of water until you are sure every spark is out and the ground
around the fire soaking.
JOHN : Kicking it apart was not enough?
DAVE : Not by a long shot ! You may have kicked logs with live
sparks in them right into the tinder-dry pine needles. Gang, I'm
afraid that fire is your fault (The three gaze ruefully at the
ftre. DAVE is using the glasses.)
ALICE: I think the smoke is a little thinner.
DAVE : So do I, and besides, there comes the truck ! Can you see
that cloud of dust with a little black speck in it? That's the
Carpenter truck with the fire fighters in it. (Focuses the
glasses) Yes, there they go. Quite a load of them. They will
have the fire out in no time.
LEWIS (Giving a long sign of relief) : Gee, I'm glad!
JOHN: I'll never leave another fire without drowning it!
LEWIS : That goes for us all, Dave.
DAVE (Seriously) : It might have been a costly lesson — the
forest, the camps, the farm and its stock, possibly loss of human
life. Forest fires destroy millions of feet of lumber, and take
homes and lives every year just through the carelessness of
people enjoying the woods.
ALICE: To say nothing of the birds and wild flowers and the scent
of the pines !
DAVE: Right! Do you know that verse about forest fires? I al-
ways think of it when I see the poor naked trees and bamen
fields left by forest fires — all too often the result of pure
thoughtlessness. (He repeats slowly)
"The careless smoker on an idle trail,
A smouldering campfire and a vagrant breeze,
Make all your ancient pride of what avail,
You tall grey ghosts which once were stately trees 1"*
52 GREY GHOSTS
LEWIS: "Stately trees!" Remember them last night, Alice? With
the stars shining through their branches.
JOHN : Don't! I can't stand it It was my fault. (He looks as if
he wants to cry.)
ALICE (Softly to DAVE) : I guess you can see we three will not
be "careless campers" ever again !
MR. GREENE (From a distance) : Alice, John, Lewis ! Time to go
down the mountain. We must start home.
LEWIS (Glances at the clock.) Golly, look at the time! (Calling)
We're coming, Dad! Good-bye, Dave, thanks. If you ever come
to New York, look us up.
ALICE : I put our address in your book.
DAVE (Laughing) : I'd have to be met at the station. I couldn't
find my way around that city even with a compass.
JOHN (Scornfully) : Ho! That's nothing. You wouldn't need a
compass. I'll show you.
DAVE: Thanks, maybe I'll come some day.
ALICE: I really wish you would, Dave. Good-bye and good luck.
(Puts out her hand.)
DAVE (Taking her hand) : Good-bye, Alice.
JOHN: So long! (Exits, clattering down the steps. ALICE fol-
lows, waving. LEWIS starts out, then sticks his head back in
the door.)
LEWIS: Dave, if you ever need anyone to help you up here, I'd —
well, I'd like the chance. It would be one way to make up for
setting the woods on fire.
DAVE: Great stuff! Maybe 111 need you next summer. I'll re-
member, Lew!
LEWIS (Beaming) : You will? Gosh all hemlock, wait till I tell
Dad I'm working next summer! (He disappears, clattering on
the steps.) 'Bye.
DAVE (Smiling) : 'Bye. (He sits down at his table, makes a note
and takes up the binoculars, starting the slow sweep of the
horizon.)
THE END
Sift " *" *"* ******
OLD MAN RIVER
by Dorothy Deming
Characters
AMY MARSHALL, 17 years old
BETTY MARSHALL, her younger sister
ROSE FIELD, 16 years old, the Marshall's neighbor
SARA FIELD, 9 years old, Rose's sister
JIM HALL, 17 years old, another neighbor
MR. PETERS, member of Red Cross Disaster Committee
PENNY MARSH, Red Cross nurse
SCENE 1
TIME: Late afternoon in March.
SETTING: Living room of the Marshall home.
AT RISE : AMY, BETTY and ROSE are sitting around the living room
table. AMY and ROSE are knitting, BETTY is looking at pictures
in a magazine. The stage is not very light.
ROSE : Goodness, it gets dark early on these rainy days. Mind if I
raise the shade a bit, Amy?
AMY: No, do, but I guess we need the light on, too. (She goes
over and puts on the electric light.)
ROSE (Going to the window) : How it rains! In sheets, and look!
Your backyard is a small lake.
AMY (Joining ROSE at the window) : Gracious ! I've never seen
it rain so hard and this is the third day of it.
BETTY (Puts down magazine and runs to window) : Whee — ee !
It's more than a lake, it's a sea! The radio said the river was
above flood stage this morning — whatever that means.
AMY : It means that the water is above that white line on the bank
at Thompson Bridge. It must have covered the south meadows
and the highway there.
53
54 OLD MAN RIVER
ROSE : It isn't only the rain. It's the snow melting in the hills in
the northern part of the state. (The girls return to the table)
Oh, I hope we don't have a flood here! (There is a noise of
stamping feet and someone breathing hard. The girls all look to
the right, the direction of the sounds.)
JIM HALL (Entering from right, in shining wet rain coat and rain
helmet, which he drags off as he enters. He is panting) : Gosh,
girls, it's a cloudburst! (He kicks off his rubbers.) I've run
every step of the way from school to get here. The river is rising
fast. The Burnett Dam gave 'way an hour ago they say and it
looks bad! Where is your mother, Amy?
AMY : She took Dick to the dentist's and was going to stop at Mrs.
Brant's for a recipe on her way home. She ought to be here soon.
JIM : And your father?
AMY : In Chicago on business, but why all the questions, Jim?
JIM : Well, er — you see — (He is interrupted by the ring of the
telephone. AMY exits left to answer it. Her voice can be heard
clearly.)
AMY : Hello. Yes, yes, Mother — I know, isn't it awful? How will
you get home? — Yes, Mother, I'm listening carefully. (AMY'S
voice grows very serious) Yes — yes — yes, I will. — No,
Mother, — no, I won't. Jim Hall is here and Rose Field. Yes,
all right, I'll tell them. Goodbye. (AMY returns to the room. She
is looking very scared.) Mother can't get home from Mrs.
Brant's. The bridges between here and town are under water.
Rose, Mother says you are to telephone your mother right away
and tell her you will spend the night here.
ROSE: I will. That will be fun! (Hurries from room.)
AMY: Betty, you and I are to fill all the bowls, tubs, pails and
pitchers with fresh water in case the town supply is cut off or
made unsafe to drink. Mother says she hopes you will stay and
help us, Jim. We girls will need a man's hand, now.
JIM : That's just why I came, Amy. I think I'll look up a lantern
and —
BETTY (Interrupting) : I've got a flashlight. I'll get it and some
candles.
ROSE (From outside, still at the telephone, with irritation) : Cen-
tral! Central! I'm trying to get Main 3022 — I can't — (There
is a pause and ROSE comes to the door, her face frightened.)
OLD MAN RIVER 55
The telephone is dead ! I can't get Central. There isn't even a
buzzing on the line !
JIM: Means the lines are down between here and town! Well,
girls, let's get organized! Betty, look up your flashlight and
candles, lamps, lanterns or anything you've got. Rose, fill the
tubs and pails and Amy and I will check on food, blankets and
coats. Better get out the first-aid kit. Everyone make it snappy !
(RosE and BETTY exit left. JIM turns to AMY) This is serious,
Amy. I don't want to scare you, but your house is in the direct
line of the river. If the dam has given 'way — (He goes to the
window) Well, if it has, you can see for yourself it means we
can't get out by the main road and we are already cut off from
the south side. Look ! (He points out of the window. AMY joins
him. She gasps.)
AMY: Jim! The water is up around the garage! I thought it was
just a pool in the garden, but it's — it's —
JIM (Soberly) : The river. Yes, Amy, that's ol' man river himself
"creepin' up to yo' door." ( JIM and AMY watch it a moment.
AMY shudders.)
AMY : Oh, Jim, I'm scared !
JIM (Placing a hand on her shoulder) : Steady, old pal ! We've
been through bad things before and come out safely. Remember
the school fire? First thing, we must not let the others see how
scared we are. Next, get all the things you can together here :
water, food, blankets, coats, lights. I'm glad I served on the
Junior Red Cross emergency squad during the war ! It's too bad
you live in a bungalow instead of a two-story house, but we can
always climb into the attic and onto the roof.
AMY (Still staring out the window) : How fast is the river rising,
do you think, Jim?
JIM : I don't know and it might stop before it reaches us. If only
the rain would let up! We will signal for help from the roof.
They will send a boat or something.
ROSE (Entering left) : I've got enough fresh water to last us a
week ! Who will send a boat for us, Jim, and from where? (She
goes to the window, screams) Horrors ! Look at the river !
AMY: Hush, Rose. Don't tell the others. Jim says we will be all
right. Let's see what food we have on hand.
BETTY (Entering left) : Here are lights. Did you say food? Hark,
56 OLD MAN RIVER
what's that? (All four stand perfectly still, listening. From far
off a child's voice is heard.)
SARA: RO — ose! It's me! Sara!
ROSE: Sara! Where is she? (All run to the window.)
AMY: There she is! On the playhouse porch. How did she get
there?
ROSE : Followed me here, probably ; she loves that playhouse, the
little monkey!
JIM (Goes out right, calling) : Stay where you are, Sara, I'll get
you.
AMY : It's lucky the playhouse is on high ground.
ROSE (Still at window) : But it isn't. Look, it's nearly afloat !
(The girls gather at the window.) There goes Jim ! Look, the
water is above his knees.
AMY : He will need dry clothes. See if you can find some of Dad's
things for Jim, Betty. Sara can have Dick's.
ROSE : There ! He's got her !
AMY: I'll make some hot cocoa for everyone. (There is a thump-
ing and voices at the right and JIM enters carrying SARA picka-
back. SARA is beaming.)
SARA : Hello, everybody ! That was fun ! Ride some more, please.
Jim!
JIM : No, young lady, that's enough. You're heavy. She is dry as
a bone, Rose. I'm not!
AMY : You can have some of Dad's things. I'm going to get us
some supper — (As she says this, the lights go out. They all
gasp and BETTY screams.)
JIM (Trying to sound casual) : Power house must be out of com-
mission. Light your candles, Betty. (BETTY puts on flashlight.
Lights three candles.)
AMY: I'm glad we have an oil stove for cooking.
ROSE (Taking a candle) : Forward inarch to the kitchen ! (BETTY
takes a candle and follows, with SARA trailing, all exit right,
humming tf Tramp, tramp, tramp the boys are marching'')
JIM (In a low voice to AMY) : The river was up another foot,
Amy. Another hour and that playhouse would have been floating
out in the current. At this rate the floor here will be under water
by morning.
AMY: What will we do then, Jim? Neither Sara nor Betty are
strong swimmers.
OLD MAN RIVER 57
JIM : I'm going to climb out on the roof and start waving the flash-
light. Someone will see it and come for us.
AMY: But who? No one is on the main road and there are no
houses within sight of us. That will be just a pinpoint of light.
Aren't you scared?
JIM : You bet ! Are you ?
AMY: Terrified. But I'm glad you're here.
JIM : We'll see it through, if we just keep our heads.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
TIME : An hour or so later.
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE : Same group is in the living room with the exception of
JIM. SARA is asleep, covered with a blanket, in a big chair. AMY,
ROSE and BETTY have three candles on the table. BETTY is try-
ing to read.)
BETTY (Putting down her book with a thud) : I can't read by this
light. How do you suppose our grandmothers ever did?
ROSE : I don't believe they tried to read. I guess they went to bed
when it grew dark.
AMY: Maybe we ought to go to bed. It's nearly eleven, but I
couldn't sleep a wink.
BETTY: Nor I.
ROSE: Nor I. Listen, what's that noise ?.(All three listen. ROSE,
running to window and peering out) I can't see a thing. It's
pitch dark. It sounded like something bumping against the house.
AMY (Taking one of the candles, goes right toward kitchen) :
Maybe on the back porch?
BETTY (Nervously) : Oh, come back! Let's stick here together!
58 OLD MAN RIVER
JIM (Entering left, in rain coat, carrying flashlight) : Battery's
dead. I waved her almost a hundred times, though. Maybe some-
body saw it.
BETTY (Scornfully) : Maybe.
JIM : It has stopped raining anyway.
AMY (Entering right) : I can't see anything out there, but we may
as well face it. The water is over the back porch and lapping the
kitchen Soon
JIM : Start moving everything to the attic. Bring the food and wa-
ter first, then the blankets. I'll do the carrying up the ladder to
the roof.
AMY (Half-crying) : Oh, Jim, Mother's rugs, the new drapes and
Father's books !
BETTY: My new spring coat! I'm going to save that! (She rushes
out left, taking candle with her.)
ROSE (Going over to her sister, shaking her gently) : Sara! Sara,
wake up, dear. We are going to sleep in the attic.
SARA (Sleepily) : Strawberry ice cream soda and cracker jack !
ROSE (Laughing hysterically) : Hear her! Wake up, Sis! (SARA
stirs.)
SARA : Oh, where am I ?
ROSE : Come on ! (She helps SARA to her feet and quickly wraps a
blanket around her) To the attic ! (Exits left, leading SARA, and
taking one of the candles with her.)
AMY: We ought to get Father's most valuable books and Mother's
jewel case, and —
JIM : Amy, we will need water and food more than books and jew-
els. You don't seem to realize — (He is interrupted by a cry
from outside, right)
MR. PETERS: Hello there! Hello in the house! Mr. Marshall! Mr.
Marshall!
AMY: They have come for us! Here we are! (She runs to the
window.)
JIM (Picking up the third candle from the table, running to the
window and waving it back and forth) : Here we are ! In here !
BETTY (Entering on the run from the left, carrying a dress box) :
Are we rescued? Who is there?
MR. PETERS (Still outside) : Mr. Marshall, are you all right? This
is Tom Peters and Miss Marsh, the Red Cross nurse. We're
here in a boat.
OLD MAN RIVER 59
JIM: Row around to the back porch! You can get in there.
(There is a bumping of a boat against wood. Voices: "Steady
now — there — I'm got hold of the rail. Tie her up." JIM and
AMY exit right toward the voices. More voices greeting, and
then MR. PETERS enters living room with a lighted lantern, fol-
lowed by Miss MARSH, AMY and JIM.)
BETTY: We're rescued, we're rescued! Come, Rose! Come, Sara!
MR. PETERS: Why, are you children all alone?
AMY: Yes, we — (There is a terrific crash, followed by a wail of
pain and a scream.)
ROSE (Offstage left) : Oh, Sara! She's fallen off the step ladder!
Come quick, somebody! I've dropped my candle and it's gone
out! (MR. PETERS, Miss MARSH, who is carrying a small black
bag, and AMY rush off stage, left.)
BETTY : Oh, I hope she hasn't broken her neck !
JIM : Get the first-aid box. It's in that pile of coats. I'll fix a place
for her to lie down. (He arranges chairs so SARA can be put
down full length.)
MR. PETERS (Carrying SARA, enters lejt) : Steady now, you are
all right. More frightened than hurt, I think. (He places SARA-
on the chairs.)
AMY (Placing lantern near SARA) : I'm glad Miss Marsh is here!
(Miss MARSH is examining SARA. SARA is sobbing softly, saying
every so often: "It hurts." ROSE kneels beside SARA'S chair,
holding her hand. JIM stands in the background with BETTY.)
SARA : It's my leg that hurts !
Miss MARSH : Yes, you have hurt it badly, Sara, but we can fix it
up and we will all get into the boat and take you home. You are
going to be all right. (She motions to MR. PETERS, JIM and
AMY to move to one side of the stage. ROSE stays with SARA)
She has broken her right leg just below the knee. We can splint
it up with pillows and umbrella and lift her safely into the boat.
I think we ought to take her to the emergency Red Cross hos-
pital in the Armory.
MR. PETERS : We can take Rose and Betty along too, but Jim, you
and Amy will have to stay until we can get back for you or send
some other boat. (Miss MARSH returns to SARA and with the
help of BETTY and ROSE begins to surround SARA'S right leg
with pillows, using an umbrella and cane along the outside to
keep the leg stiff.)
60 OLD MAN RIVER
JIM : That's all right, sir. We will be perfectly safe up on the roof.
MR. PETERS : We can leave you an extra lantern and a jar of cof-
fee. Need anything else?
AMY : Only some of your calmness ! We will be all right, thanks.
MR. PETERS : Don't thank me, thank the Red Cross. (He goes over
to SARA and helps lift her into a blanket rolled to form a stretch-
er. Miss MARSH picks up her bag. JIM and MR. PETERS lift and
carry SARA toward the right) We can swing her down into the
boat very easily. It won't hurt a mite, Sara, Get your things,
Rose and Betty, you are going with us. (ROSE and BETTY grab
their coats. BETTY takes her dress box.)
SARA (Drowsily) : Miss Marsh gave me something to stop the
hurt and it has almost gone !
AMY (At the door, dropping a kiss on SARA'S forehead as they
carry her out) : That's fine, dear! Have a nice boat ride! (She
waves as the stretcher goes out, followed by ROSE and BETTY)
Try to get word to Mother that we are all right, Betty, and Jim's
family, too !
BETTY : I'll try. I hope you'll be rescued soon. 'By !
ROSE : Good-by, Amy, good luck !
AMY: Good-by! (There is more thumping, only less loud than
before, and voices giving directions. AMY fusses with the lantern,
trying to get it lighted.)
MR. PETERS (Offstage) : You will be all right, Jim?
JIM (Still offstage) : Yes, don't worry about us. Good-by ! (Voices
in distance, sound of oars. JIM enters right, wiping forehead.
AMY gets lantern lighted and blows out candles) Water's drop-
ping ! There are a good two inches of wet board showing on the
kitchen step. That was a narrow squeak ! (He pours two cups of
coffee from the jar MR. PETERS left. Hands one to AMY. Raises
his cup as though in a toast) Here's to Red Cross coffee, Red
Cross lantern and Red Cross rescue ! I'm glad we have a wide-
awake, well-equipped Red Cross Disaster Committee in this
town!
AMY : And a Red Cross nurse for emergencies ! Thank God for the
Red Cross ! (Both lift their coffee cups and drink, still standing)
THE END
* Baaed in part on chapters XI-XIII of "Penny Marsh: Public Health Nurse/1
Dodd, Mead & Go., New York, 1988
ONE-RING CIRCUS
by Aileen Fisher
Characters
KEP, a budding engineer
PINKIE, his admiring pal
SPINDLE, who owns a pet mouse
LARRY, a friend
Larry's sisters
MIL, a friend
HORACE, a bookish boy
Miss "PINCH-FACE" COBB, Horace's aunt
SETTING: A vacant lot.
AT RISE: KEP and PINKIE are near the center of the stage,
PINKIE sits on a box whittling. KEP has a dishpan of sawdust
and is outlining a circus ring.
KEP (As he sprinkles) : It's sure hard to make a circle look round.
But you can't have a circus without a sawdust ring. (Tramps
on imaginary grass.) Some of this grass is too high — that's the
trouble with a vacant lot.
PINKIE : What'd we do without it, though? I think vacant lots are
a swell invention.
KEP (Still sprinkling his ring) : Does it look pretty round to you,
Pinkie?
PINKIE (Squinting) : O.K., Kep. We just going to have one ring?
KEP: Yup. Three's too hard. Anyway, nobody can look three
places at the same time . . . except my mother. She can even
see out of the back of her head. Specially when I'm experiment-
ing, or inventing.
PINKIE (With an envious sigh) : Must be pretty nice to know
you're going to be an engineer when you grow up. Wish / knew
what to be.
61
62 ONE-RING CIRCUS
KEP : Wait till you get through acting in this show, Pinkie. Then
maybe you'll decide to be a monkey or something.
PINKIE: Thanks for the tip. Say, who's coming to the meeting,
anyway?
KEP: Oh, Larry and his two sisters. They've got a stunt all
worked out Besides, Janet can turn six cartwheels in a row,
and Cathy can jump rope like nobody's business. Ever see her?
PINKIE: Nope. I don't have much time for girls.
KEP : Then Spindle's going to play the mouth-organ and make his
pet mouse perform. That ought to bring down the house. By
the way, I'm depending on your bantam rooster and your butter-
fly collection for the menagerie,
PINKIE: O.K. What about my collection of keys?
KEP (Ignoring question) : And Mil's going to make pink lemon-
ade and wear her clown suit and walk on stilts.
PINKIE: All at the same time?
KEP : And don't forget you're down for a trapeze act. I'll take
charge of the rodeo. I'm going to engineer a synthetic bucking
bronco I dare anyone to stick on more'n 30 seconds, myself
included.
PINKIE (Tentatively) : What about Horace?
KEP: Well, what about Horace?
PINKIE: Why don't we let Horace in on things for once? He's
got more stuff than the rest of us put together. Why, his aunt's
so rich she could buy out any store in town.
KEP : That old Pinch-Face.
PINKIE: And Horace could sell a lot of tickets, I bet — consider-
ing who his aunt is.
KEP: Nothing doing. He's a sissy. Besides, he gets too-good
marks. Besides, it's a matter of principles. I don't believe in
making buddies of people just to get something out of 'em.
PINKIE : He's got a Magic Set, though, and can do lots of tricks.
KEP : How do you know ? You're not taking up with that panty-
waist, are you? Why, I bet he'd faint if he saw a mouse. This
circus is a he-man's outfit, see? (Suddenly waves at wings left,
and calls out.) Hi, Spindle! (SPINDLE comes in with a small
wooden or metal box which contains an imaginary or toy mouse.
SPINDLE also has a mouth-organ which he plays snatches on.)
SPINDLE: Hi. I brought Felix so you could get a preview of his
act (SPINDLE carefully puts, box on upturned crate.) But, look,
ONE-RING CIRCUS 63
don't anyone close down that cover tight, because it locks, and
I haven't got a key ! Besides, it has to be left open a crack or
Felix will suffocate. (SPINDLE lifts cover and the boys bend
over to watch.) Here, Felix. Sit up, boy. Sit up! Naw, not
down. Well, O.K. then, roll over. Atta boy!
KEP : Some mouse.
SPINDLE : He's got stage fright. Usually he minds right off. Come
on, wiggle your nose, Felix. Wiggle your nose.
PINKIE: He's a circus, that's what!
KEP: Anyway, he's cute. Ought to make a big hit with the au-
dience. (LARRY, JANET, CATHY and MIL come in noisily from
right. JANET turns a -few cartwheels. CATHY does tricks with a
jump rope. There are various greetings back and forth. The
children then sit around on ground or boxes, except for KEP,
who still stands and hangs on to the sawdust pan.)
KEP (In a speech-making voice) : Well, now we're all here, the
meeting is called to order. (He keeps nervously sprinkling saw-
dust as he talks, as if feeding birds.) As you know, we are about
to embark on a very worthwhile, money-making project. Not
only will we entertain the neighborhood with an amazing one-
ring circus, but we will accumulate a fund.
SPINDLE: We hope!
KEP: ... a fund, so I can go ahead with the most important ex-
periment of my scientific career.
LARRY : Got any ideas yet about how to do it, Kep ?
KEP: Well, no. Not exactly.
CATHY: Everybody I know says it can't be done.
KEP : A scientist never says "can't" — see ?
LARRY: Well, you'll be pretty good if you can figure something
out, Kep. That's all I can say. My dad told me nobody can in-
vent a defense against atomic bombs — not even Einstein. Let
alone you!
MIL : Not that it wouldn't be good to have one, though !
KEP: There must be some kind of defense. As an engineer, I
won't be satisfied till I try.
JANET: Sure, it's worth a try. A circus is worth the price of ad-
mission anyway, even if you never figure out a defense.
SPINDLE (Playing with mouse) : Felix says to tell you he's ready
to do his stuff for the cause any time.
KEP (Speechrmaking voice again) : If we charge 5 cents admis-
64 ONE-RING CIRCUS
sion for children and 7 cents for adults, we'd get a big enough
fund so I could probably start several different experiments at
once. Something ought to work . . . law of averages. (Children
give various assents.) Anyway, it's a worthwhile idea. And
there's no time to lose ! Do you think we can be ready to put on
the circus this coming Saturday? (More assents.)
PINKIE: Look! There comes Horace with his aunt, old Pinch-
Face, down the street.
KEP (Warningly) : Don't let Horace in on anything, remember.
He knows too much already . . . out of books. Besides, he's an
auntie's boy!
PINKIE : I bet he'd give his eye teeth to be in our circus, though.
SPINDLE: Let's all get in a huddle over Felix, and then we just
won't see them. (The children gather over Felix's box. Miss
COBB and HORACE come in. Miss COBB is quite old-maidish and
prim. HORACE wears glasses and carries a stack of books.)
Miss COBB : Now there are some children, Horace. I am confident
they will be more than delighted to play with you while I at-
tend the Elite Ladies' Club. Let me ask them.
HORACE (Holding back) : No, auntie. Please don't. I believe
they don't like my company very much.
Miss COBB: Nonsense, Horace. You're my nephew, aren't you?
HORACE: Just the same, auntie . . . experience tells me ...
Miss COBB (Coyly, to the children) : Children. (There is no re-
ply. The children bend studiously over Felix.) Children. (Still
no indication the children have heard.)
HORACE: They seem to be rather hard of hearing. Come on,
auntie, I have an abundance of reading matter for this after-
noon. I can get along by myself.
Miss COBB (Angrily) : CHILDREN ! (Still the children do not
budge. Miss COBB goes closer, notices sawdust on ground,
picks up some. Then she is quite exasperated.) What do you
children mean . . . throwing sawdust on my lot? I could have
you arrested ... for trespassing. Do you realize it? (This brings
the children to frightened attention.)
KEP (Gulping) : On your lot? We didn't know it was your lot,
Miss Cobb. Honest.
PINKIE: We thought a vacant lot was . . . well, vacant. (Ges-
tures) You know, vacant I
Miss COBB: You did, did you? I want you to know this lot has
ONE-RING CIRCUS 65
been in the Cobb family for 37 years. What do you mean —
defiling it with sawdust? Speak up! I am positive there is a
law against it.
KEP : You see, Miss Cobb, we were planning to give a circus . . .
HORACE: How interesting.
Miss COBB : Let them explain, Horace. So ! You were planning
to give a common, low-brow entertainment on Cobb property
without permission. Unpardonable.
JANET: It's for a good cause. Really.
CATHY : It's to earn some money so Kep can go ahead with im-
portant, world-famous experiments.
LARRY : You see, Kep's trying to figure out a defense against the
atom bomb. And, of course, that takes a little money. That's
why we're putting on the circus.
Miss COBB: What nonsense. (To KEP) I find it hard to believe
that a boy of your age and appearance bothers his head about
things like that.
HORACE : I think it perfectly natural, auntie. I have read consid-
erable on the subject myself. (Wistfully) Besides, I believe a
circus might do a great deal for this neighborhood.
Miss COBB (Looking at HORACE) : You'd like to be in it, wouldn't
you, Horace dear? Well, perhaps we might be able to arrive at
a compromise. As a matter of principle I object to sawdust and
circuses on Cobb property, but ... (To children) if you will al-
low Horace to contribute his many talents to the success of the
performance, I shall permit you the use of my lot.
KEP : As a matter of principle, Miss Cobb, we don't . . . (Sudden-
ly he looks at Felix's box and calls out.) Hey, Spindle, watch
Felix ! He almost escaped. We couldn't put on the circus with-
out Felix.
Miss COBB (Curiously) : Felix? Are you children hiding some-
thing from me? On my property? (She goes over to the
box, lifts lid, and then shrieks. In horror she bangs down the
Hd, holds her skirts, and jumps up on a crate.) A mouse! A
live mouse ! Ooohhh. I shall never be the same again.
PINKIE: The lid! She banged down the lid and it locked. And
Spindle hasn't got a key.
SPINDLE: Felix! He's locked in the box. He'll suffocate. Can't
somebody do something?
66 ONE-RING CIRCUS
KEP : Race home and get your collection of keys, Pinkie. Maybe
one of 'em will fit.
PINKIE: I doubt it. They're mostly pretty big ... and rusty.
( PINKIE runs out left. At almost the same moment HORACE im-
pulsively rushes out right.)
Miss COBB (Who has not seen HORACE go): A mouse! On Cobb
property ! Horace. Horace dear, run home this minute and get
auntie her smelling salts. That little green bottle on top of my
dresser. And hurry, Horace. I feel very faint . . . (She gets
down from the crate and sits on it.)
KEP : Horace isn't here, Miss Cobb. He's gone.
JANET: He just ran home. And, honest, I never thought Horace
could run so fast.
Miss COBB : He ran home? Ah, the dear boy thought of my smell-
ing salts before I did. Such a thoughtful child ! So considerate
of his auntie.
CATHY (Who has been trying to fry up lid of box) : Miss Cobb,
do you realize what you have done? You banged the lid on poor
Felix, and it locked, and there isn't any key.
SPINDLE: He's imprisoned. Hell suffocate. He was the best
mouse I ever had.
Miss COBB : A mouse on my property . . .
KEP: Maybe it is your property, Miss Cobb, but it's Spindle's
mouse.
MIL : I bet there's a law against suffocating an innocent little per-
son like that
Miss COBB : Hurry, Horace. My smelling salts !
CATHY: I'd fed awful if I did it, I know that.
SPINDLE (Mournfully) : And Felix was just getting to wiggle his
nose so good. (PINKIE comes rushing in from left with his key
collection. Some keys look pretty huge for such a small box.
The children frantically try to make the keys fit. There are va-
rious expressions of disappointment.)
LARRY: Collecting keys is a dumb hobby, Pinkie. What good are
keys if they don't unlock anything?
PINKIE : Aw — they unlock some things.
JANET: Poor little Felix.
MIL: If we don't get him out soonx it'll be too late. (HORACE
comes running in from right with a cardboard box. He has sud-
denly acquired a sense of "belonging.")
ONE-RING CIRCUS 67
HORACE: Gangway! Gangway 1
Miss COBB : My smelling salts. Oh, Horace, you dear thoughtful
boy. (She has her head in her hands so doesn't see what hap-
pens. Instead of going to his aunt, HORACE hurries to FELIX'S
box. He whips out a piece of wire and a gadget from his card-
board box, gives a few twists in the lock, and opens the lid! The
children are much impressed and excited.)
HORACE: There you are!
Miss COBB: Where, Horace? I don't see them. The little green
bottle?
HORACE: What little green bottle?
Miss COBB (Suddenly much alive) : The one on my dresser. Do
you mean to say you couldn't find it?
HORACE: Find what?
Miss COBB (Crossly) : My smelling salts, of course. You certain-
ly saw the desperate condition I was in after beholding that
dreadful animal. What did you go home for Horace?
HORACE : Why, for my Magic Set. I've had considerable practice
opening locks and undoing puzzles. That lid was nothing.
KEP: Everything's O.K. now, Miss Cobb. The show can go on.
Horace saved Felix's life . . . look, he's as lively as ever !
Miss COBB (Jumping up) : Lively! Did you say lively? Oh, 1
am afraid I am long past due at the meeting of the Elite Ladies'
Club. (She swishes out in a great flurry as the children laugh.)
HORACE : . . . I guess maybe I'd better be going, too ...
KEP : Wait a minute, Horace.
PINKIE: What's the great hurry?
KEP : I ... we ... I mean, we sure could use a magician in our
circus. You're hot. Only we never knew it.
HORACE: You mean you want me to stay? Honest? Golly, I
never thought I'd ever get to act in a circus. (He puts down
books and picks up two linked rings from the Magic Set, and
begins to be a showman.) Ladies and gentlemen, all the king's
horses and all the king's men would be unable to pull these
rings apart. (Passes them to KEP and LARRY, who try unsuc-
cessfully, then hand them back.) Now ... by a simple turn of
the wrist . . . well, there you are! (Holds up two rings. The
children applaud.)
HORACE (To KEP) : I'd like to be in on the scientific experiments,
too, Kep . . . only . . .
68 ONE-RING CIRCUS
KEP: Only what?
HORACE : Well, I've read a great deal about atom bombs, and what
scientists say. You'd be wasting your money. There isn't any
defense — all the scientists agree on that
KEP (Gloomily) : I've sorta come to that conclusion myself, only
I hated to admit it I kept hoping. It sounded like a swell idea
to work on. (Brightens) But look, we could use the money for
something else. We could use it in the Junior Red Cross for
that National Children's Fund that helps kids in Europe and
places! We could send food and things they need. (Children
approve loudly.)
HORACE: You've solved it, Kep!
KEP-: Yeah?
HORACE: Sure! Thafs the real defense against the atom bomb
— thinking about other people and doing something to help
them ! There may not be a scientific defense, but this is just as
good. If we treat other people the way we'd like to be treated
. . . there won't ever be another war. (Gestures) No war — no
atom bombs!
MIL: You got something there, Horace. I'm for the National
Children's Fund! (Others agree vociferously.)
SPINDLE (To Felix in box) : Stand up and shake Horace's hand,
Felix. He's all right! (Suddenly SPINDLE makes a dive at the
ground.) Oooops! What do you mean, Felix, running around
on Miss Cobb's private property? (He scrambles around com-
ically.) Hey you, come back here . . .
CATHY (Dramatically jumping on crate, imitating Miss COBB) :
A mouse! Oh, my soul, a live mouse! Quick, Horace ... the
smelling salts ! (They are all laughing as the curtain closes.)
THE END
SPECIAL EDITION
by Aileen Fisher
Characters
PATSY, editor of "Neighborhood News"
CHUCK, her brother, editor of "What's Up"
TUNE°N } re*>orters on "Neighborhood News"
HENRY \ reporters on "What's Up"
J&J£N I
TALBOT, a budding poett cousin of PATSY and CHUCK
MILLICENT, TALBOT'S kid sister
TIME: The present.
SETTING: PATSY and CHUCK'S home. The stage is divided into
three parts. Down the middle is a strip representing a hallway
in a large house. At the end, back, of the hall is a telephone.
To the right of the hall is PATSY'S room, the office of "Neighbor-
hood News" with a sign to that effect. To the left of the hall is
CHUCK'S room, office of "W hat's Up" also with a sign.
AT RISE : PATSY and CHUCK are alone in their rooms. PATSY is
sighing over a stack of papers and account books. CHUCK is
laboriously writing in longhand. SHARON comes in from left
wingt runs down hall and bursts into "Neighborhood News"
room. PATSY looks up expectantly.
SHARON : Talk about news ! If we can get our paper out this after-
noon instead of tomorrow, we'll have a scoop. Providing your
dear brother (She nods in direction of "What's Up" office)
doesn't get the same idea !
PATSY : What happened anyway ?
SHARON : Well, I saw your cousin, Millicent. . .
PATSY : You couldn't miss her — she's as broad as she is long.
SHARON : Millicent says that Talbot just got a letter that he won
69
70 SPECIAL EDITION
first prize in the county poetry contest, and he's going to get a
prize of ten dollars. Imagine ! And he lives right in our block.
PATSY: And he's my cousin. Imagine ! Ten dollars all at one time.
BOTH : Imagine !
SHARON : And here we work our heads off on the "Neighborhood
News" for about two cents an hour, if we're lucky. What'd you
and Chuck go and quarrel for anyway, Patsy ? There wasn't near-
ly as much work when we all had the paper together. . . before
Chuck started one of his own. And it was more fun, and we
made more money too. Nobody Wants to subscribe to two papers.
PATSY : Chuck always wants his own way. I guess I can be an
editor as well as he can! Anyway, I think if people can't get
along together they better get along separately. Now look,
Sharon, if we can dig up some of Talbot's poems to print along
with the contest news in a special edition, I bet our circulation
will zoom from 28 to at least 40. Do you have a copy of the
prize poem?
SHARON : No. I asked Millicent, but she said she didn't know
where a copy was. And Talbot's locked up in his room, writing.
And, besides, Millicent wasn't interested for less than an ice
cream cone.
PATSY : She wouldn't be ! Getting anything out of Millicent always
eats up our profits. I'll go 'phone and see what I can find out.
(PATSY goes out into hall to telephone. SHARON sits at type-
writer and pecks out the news story. Just as PATSY is asking
for "1546, please" HENRY comes rushing along, from wings leftf
down hall, to 'What's Up" office. With hardly a glance at PATSY
he bursts into CHUCK'S room.)
HENRY: Guess what, Mr. Editor.
CHUCK: What?
HENRY: I saw your cousin Millicent and, in return for my last
stick of gum. . . I extracted a piece of news that will scoop our
rival's paper all hollow. Providing we can get our edition out
this afternoon instead of tomorrow. (PATSY in the hall has been
having difficulty getting her number. Finally she has it.)
PATSY: Is that you, Millicent? Hello. Is Talbot there? (Pause)
Not even for your cousin? (Pause) Look, Millicent, this is im-
portant. Try to find some of your big brother's poems lying
around and bring them over to the office. We want to run a
story about Talbot and the prize. (Pause) Sure . . . believe me,
SPECIAL EDITION 71
we'll make it worth your while. Mother baked chocolate gin-
gersnaps this morning. O.K. And hurry up! (PATSY goes back
to her room, and plunges into work again, while SHARON con-
tinues to work at the typewriter. CHUCK is much interested in
what HENRY is telling him.)
CHUCK: What's happened, anyway?
HENRY : Your cousin Talbot won first place in the county poetry
contest. It means ten bucks.
CHUCK: Ten bucks! Holy smoke, why doesn't somebody around
here write poetry? We could make a down payment on a type-
writer with ten bucks.
HENRY: We wouldn't need a typewriter, Chuck, if you hadn't
gone and quarreled with Patsy. Now they've got the typewriter
. . .and where do we come off?
CHUCK : We've got the hektograph. Once we print a stencil we
can turn out copies faster than they can. Why, they have to
type at least four different sets of carbons to get enough copies.
HENRY : Yeah, but we have to print our whole stencil by hand.
CHUCK: You get on to it after a while. Anyway, Patsy always
wants to run things. If she thinks she's such a good editor, she
can prove it. I bet they haven't got as many subscribers as we
have. Look, Henry, did you bring a copy of Talbot's poem to
print in the special edition?
HENRY: No. Millicent didn't have one. Besides, she wanted a
popsickle before she'd say another word.
CHUCK: She would! We've got to get hold of Talbot's poems.
Write up what you know, Henry, while I make a 'phone call.
(Starts for door and turns back) Say, if we're going to run a
special edition, we ought to put the "Neighborhood News" off
the track. Write 'em a note, Henry, and we'll chuck it under
their door this noon. Tell 'em that seeing tomorrow is press day,
we'll lend them the hektograph for an hour if they'll lend us
the typewriter.
HENRY (Grinning) : That'll fool them, all right. (HENRY sits
down and writes industriously. CHUCK goes out into the hall to
telephone. SHARON and PATSY work quietly in their office. Just
as CHUCK says, "1546, please"... JUKE comes down the hall,
listens a minute, then goes into the "Neighborhood News"
room.)
JUNE : Hi ! Chuck's out in the hall calling up Talbot.
72 SPECIAL EDITION
PATSY : Oh ! I bet he's heard about the prize too. Heck !
JUNE: What prize?
SHARON : Talbot won ten dollars in that poetry contest. Do you
know anything about the poem he sent in, June?
JUNE : Sure. He read it to me before he sent it.
PATSY and SHARON (Excited) : He did! Can you remember it?
What was it about? Oh, boy, what a scoop this'll be.
JUNE : It was called something like "Man and the Atomic World"
. . .only I don't remember exactly. It was full of lots of big
ideas. You know Talbot!
SHARON (Dreamily) : He's wonderful.
JUNE : It started out about a couple of people who were in busi-
ness but couldn't get along together, and so they decided to split
up and each start a business of their own and grab the other's
trade...
PATSY : I suppose he meant the people were like countries. The
United States and Russia, maybe. . .
SHARON : Oh, sure. Talbot always means deep things.
PATSY: What happened?
JUNE : Well, just when they were at each other's throats, a dove
that was trained by an airplane pilot did some sky-writing with
streamers above this town where the business men lived. . .
SHARON: Isn't that modern, though? Just like Talbot.
JUNE: The sky-writing said something like "Divide and Perish,
Co-operate and Live," only it was in poetry, of course.
PATSY: That sounds like Talbot all right. Look, June, you write
up what you just told us, and if we hurry we can get out a
special edition of our paper this afternoon before "What's Up"
knows what's up.
JUNE: A special edition! You mean we'd have to type twenty-
eight carbons this afternoon? It's much more work than the
hektograph, Patsy. . .
PATSY : But think what it would do to our circulation.
JUNE: What'd you have to quarrel with Chuck for, anyway?
Everything was easier when we all had the paper together, and
more fun too.
PATSY : We can run a paper just as well as they can. And when we
get enough profits we'll buy a hektograph of our own. Say, if
we're putting out a special edition, we ought to do something to
keep our rivals from knowing about it. Let's write them a
SPECIAL EDITION 73
note and tell them that since tomorrow is press day we'll lend
them the typewriter for an hour if they'll lend us the hektograph.
SHARON : Good ! That'll put them off the track. We can stick the
note under their door this noon. (The three girls get to work.
CHUCK meanwhile has been having trouble getting his number.
HENRY is writing in the other office.)
CHUCK (At phone) : You mean to say, Millicent, that Talbot's too
busy to talk to his own cousin ? Look, it ought to be worth a lot
to you to have a special edition of our paper devoted to your
brother. We want to print some of his poems. Can you get us
some? (Pause) O.K. O.K. A double-deck ice cream cone...
if you find some poems and bring them over pronto. Step on it !
(CHUCK hangs up, just as KEN comes in rather slowly and sor-
rowfully from wings left and down hall.)
CHUCK: Hi, Ken. Did you get those society items?
KEN: Yeah.
CHUCK: What's the matter? You look like a wet ostrich. (CHUCK
and KEN go into f What's Up" office.)
KEN: Listen, Chuck, I don't like to report society news, see?
That's girls' stuff. I like to report baseball. . . and important
things like that. You can get a sissy to be the society reporter —
not me.
CHUCK : But now that we're a he-man's outfit, we don't have any
sissies on our paper, Ken. You know that. They're all over at
"Neighborhood News."
KEN : Well, it was more fun before. . . when the girls did all the
society and I did all the baseball. Heck, who cares if little Peggy
Higgins had nine of her friends, aged 3 to 7, at a birthday party.
Who cares ?
CHUCK: Write it up anyway. People like to see their names in
print. We're getting out a special edition this afternoon.
KEN: A special edition! What for?
CHUCK: Because Talbot won ten dollars just for writing a poem.
Talk about luck ! Imagine getting ten dollars for that .
HENRY: Talbot's full of ideas. I read some of his poems once. . .
snitched his notebook when he wasn't looking. He writes sonnets
or something.
CHUCK: What about?
HENRY: Oh, everything. Atom bombs and things like that. About
the end of the world if people don't get together and cooperate.
74 SPECIAL EDITION
He's real professional. Deep, too. And modern ! Say, there's no
lilies and nightingales about the stuff Talbot writes. (MILLICENT
comes in hall with a worn notebook. Looks first at one door,
then at the other. Decides to knock on "Neighborhood News9'
door first.)
PATSY (Answering MILLICENT'S knock) : Who is it?
MILLICENT : Me. Millicent. Did you get the chocolate gingersnaps?
PATSY: Good grief, I forgot, (Calls to MILLICENT) Come in,
Millicent. I'm going for the cookies right this minute. (PATSY
leaves hurriedly f and MILLICENT comes in. She is younger than
the others, is quite chunky, and always hungry. She clutches a
worn black notebook.)
SHARON: Did you bring some of Talbot's poems, Millicent? Let
me see.
MILLICENT : Not till I see the cookies first.
JUNE : It looks like an awful worn-out notebook.
MILLICENT : There are lots of poems in it that Talbot wrote. Real
pretty ones. . .about lilies and nightingales and things like that.
SHARON: You mean Talbot writes about lilies and nightingales?
MILLICENT : Sure. And ladies in white dresses.
JUNE : I must say that doesn't sound like Talbot 1
MILLICENT : It is, though. In his own handwriting. (PATSY comes
back with a bag of cookies.)
PATSY : Here you are, Millicent. I had to promise Mom I'd wash
all the downstairs windows to make up for these. One cookie
for one poem.
MILLICENT (Trying a cookie f and enjoying it) : O.K. How many
are there?
PATSY : A dozen.
MILLICENT (Carefully counting 12 pages and tearing them out) :
Here's twelve then. Only you get a bargain because sometimes
there's more than one poem on a page. (The "Neighborhood
News" staff looks the pages over, in surprise.)
PATSY : I don't see anything about atom bombs and cooperation
and survival in the modern world. (Reads aloud)
Out of the shadows into the night
Floated a maiden vested in white.
Vested? What does that mean?
SHARON : It doesn't sound like Talbot !
PATSY : It certainly doesn't. But if we're getting out a special edi-
SPECIAL EDITION 75
tion, there's no time for minor details. You pick out a couple
of the poems you like best, June, and we'll print them.
MILLICENT (Still enjoying her cookies) : If you want anything
else, just let me know. Only next time I'll have to charge lemon-
ade too. Goodbye. (MILLICENT goes out as "Neighborhood
News" staff rather grudgingly says goodbye. With a good grip
on the notebook and cookie bag, MILLICENT knocks on the
"What's Up" door.)
CHUCK: Who's there?
MILLICENT : Me. Millicent.
CHUCK (To boys) : It's Millicent with the poems. We've got to
be nice to her. It's good business. (Calls out) Come in, Milli-
cent. Glad to see you, cousin.
MILLICENT (Entering) : Did you say a double-deck ice cream
cone?
CHUCK : Yeah, sure. Any flavor you want, Millicent.
MILLICENT (Looking approvingly at notebook, then boys) : I'll
let you have twelve whole pages of poems for two double-
deckers.
CHUCK: (To staff) : Do you think it will do that much for our
circulation ?
KEN : Never can tell.
CHUCK : O.K., Millicent. When you go into business, we'll sure
want to buy some stock! (Digs in pocket) Here's the money. . .
you'll have to buy the cones yourself. We don't keep 'em in
stock. (CHUCK gives MILLICENT coins, while she tears out
twelve carefully counted pages and hands them over.)
MILLICENT: They're all in Talbot's handwriting.
KEN (Peering to look) : Let's see. (Reads aloud)
Ah, nightingale in yonder tree,
What message has your melody
For hapless lonely souls like me?
(He makes a face) There's nothing atomic about that, Henry.
CHUCK: What's the dif? Poems are poems. Copy a couple of 'em
off on the stencil, Ken. (KEN starts to write. MILLICENT, still
munching cookies, hesitates at the door as she turns to go.)
MILLICENT : What do you like best, Chuck. . . chocolate or vanilla?
Or strawberry? (She sighs heavily) I never can decide. (There
is a great racket in the hall as TALBOT, hatless and out of breath,
comes rushing in. He is shouting, ff Millicent. . . Millicent. . /'
76 SPECIAL EDITION
and seems quite frantic about it.)
TALBOT: Millicent! Has anybody seen Millicent around here?
(PATSY jumps up and opens the "Neighborhood News" door.)
PATSY : Oh, hello, Talbot. Congratulations on the prize ! Millicent
was here just a little while ago. Eating chocolate gingersnaps. . .
by the dozen!
TALBOT: Where is she now? It's a matter of life and death, Patsy.
I've got to find her. Millicent! Millicent! (MILLICENT comes
out of the "What's Up" office, holding notebook behind her.
CHUCK sticks his head out, too — HENRY and KEN behind him.
SHARON and JUNE look on behind PATSY.)
MILLICENT (Sweetly) : Do you want me, Talbot? If there's any-
thing I can do for you, it will only cost you a peanut.
TALBOT : This is a matter of life and death, Millicent. Did you see
an old black notebook I dug out of the attic and put on the hall
table?
EVERYONE : A black notebook?
TALBOT : Did you? An old notebook I used to write poems in when
I was just a kid. . . before I was dry behind the ears. . . before
I had any sense.. .
MILLICENT : Yes, I saw it.
TALBOT: Where is it? Did you take it? I've got to have it, Milli-
cent. . .
MILLICENT (To PATSY and CHUCK) : I told you the poems were
in his own handwriting, didn't I ? You got a real bargain.
TALBOT: A bargain? What bargain? Millicent, did you take that
notebook?
MILLICENT (Sweetly) : Sure, I did, Talbot. Patsy and Chuck want
to print some of your poems in their newspapers. Because you're
famous! Isn't that nice of them? They're both going to get out
special editions today.
PATSY and CHUCK (Glaring at each other) : Both!
TALBOT (Tearing his hair) : Those poems ! Where are they? Give
them back to me this minute. Human eyes must never set foot
on those pages ! Ye gods, those poems are dated. . . they're baby
stuff. I was going to burn up that old notebook. . . and here you
ran off with it. (Sees notebook behind MILLICENT'S back) Give
me that book, Millicent, before there is a. . .an atomic explosion !
(He grabs the notebook, thumbs through pages) Where are the
other sheets?
SPECIAL EDITION 77
MILLICENT: Why, the "Neighborhood News" is going to print
some. So is "What's Up."
TALBOT (Furiously) : Is that true? (When TALBOT sees PATSY
and CHUCK assent sheepishly, he becomes very stern and dra-
matic) Then I will have you all arrested. Sister or no sister,
cousins or no cousins, friends or no friends ! You can't print a
person's poems without his permission. Especially when it would
ruin his reputation! It's slander. . .that's what it is. (He strides
into the "Neighborhood News" office, sees the sheets on desk, and
rescues them. Tears them in shreds. The onlookers are all rather
awed) I'll take this case to court, that's what I'll do. (He
strides into "What's Up" office and rescues pages) Just in time !
If these infantile poems had got into print, I'd. . .I'd cut my
throat. (Glares at the group) Then you could all be tried for
murder.
SHARON (Shuddering) : Oh, Talbot.
TALBOT : As it is, my life is spared. But your lives are in danger.
Surreptitious slander. . . that's the charge I'll make against you.
(Under breath) Or maybe it's libel. . .
KEN : Gee, is it as bad as it sounds, Talbot?
TALBOT: Penitentiary offense!
JUNE: Honest?
TALBOT (Grimly f slowly) : And to think I was about to give you
all a treat out of my ten dollars. To think I thought I owed you
something for giving me the idea !
ALL (Except MILLICENT, who still nibbles cookies) : What idea?
TALBOT : The idea for the peem, of course. I was grateful enough
for it!
CHUCK: I don't get you.
PATSY : Me either.
TALBOT: Why, my whole prize-winning poem was based on the
way you acted ! You gave me the idea.
CHUCK and PATSY: We did?
TALBOT : Sure. You act just like certain countries. For instance,
instead of making yourselves get along together, you get mad at
each other and quarrel. You upset all the apples after you pile
them on the cart. You break up a perfectly good business ar-
rangement, then try to snitch each other's customers. And in
the atomic age, too. You don't seem to realize everybody can't
have his own way. If you'd only each give in a little, you'd get
78 SPECIAL EDITION
along O.K., and everyone would be better off.
KEN : That's what I think, too. And I wouldn't have to report
society!
JUNE : And we could have the hektograph.
HENRY : To say nothing of the typewriter.
TALBOT: See? Just what I said. Everybody would be better off.
Instead of getting arrested !
PATSY : Look, Talbot, don't you think. . . in view of our giving you
a prize-winning idea. . .
CHUCK: And admitting you're right. . .
PATSY : That you ought to drop the charges, if we promise to ben-
efit by the lesson in your poem?
CHUCK : Yeah. You drop the charges, Talbot, and we'll have one
paper again instead of two. We'll cooperate. What do you say,
Patsy?
PATSY: Sure. Providing one thing, though. Providing Talbot
will be editor. He knows how to make the most of ideas. Chuck
and I never could win a prize for anything. . . except quarreling !
And that's certainly nothing to be proud of.
TALBOT: Well...
KEN: Come on, Talbot. You'd get all kinds of ideas editing a
newspaper. Just so you didn't have to report society !
TALBOT: Well...
PATSY : Really, Talbot, I don't see how you can get out of it, after
winning a prize on cooperation ! Here's your chance to practice
what you preach.
CHUCK: By the way, Millicent, you give me back my money or
I'll have you arrested for defaming your brother's character.
PATSY: And you help me wash windows tomorrow morning or
I'll have to turn you over to the police for doing business under
false pretenses 1
HENRY: What about it, Talbot! Do we all get arrested, or do you
become editor of. . . (Looks from PATSY to CHUCK) ... of . . .
a cooperative newspaper?
PATSY: Editor of the "Neighborhood News."
CHUCK: Nothing doing. The name's "What's Up."
TALBOT: Well, for the sake of humanity, I'll do it! I'll show you
SPECIAL EDITION 79
we can all work together in peace and harmony on. . .
KEN : You better think of a new name!
TALBOT: "What's Up in the Neighborhood." How's that?
OTHERS (Applauding) : Fine. Hooray. Good.
TALBOT : I'll demonstrate that cooperation is the must of the atom-
ic age. Pass the cookies, Millicent !
THE END
THE WAY TO NORWICH
by AUeen Fisher
Characters
FOUR CHILDREN
THE MAN IN THE MOON
CHAIR MENDER
OLD CLOTHES MAN
BOY WITH PONY
Two GOSSIPY GIRLS
SETTING : Outdoors, somewhere on Earth.
TIME : Some time soon.
AT RISE: FOUR CHILDREN come in with porridge dishes. They
march around the stage, chanting.
CHILDREN :
The Man in the Moon came tumbling down,
And asked the way to Norwich ;
He went by south, and burnt his mouth
With eating cold pease porridge.
(They put down their bowls and begin to clap out "Pease Por-
ridge" as they chant loudly.)
Pease porridge hot,
Pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the pot,
Nine days old.
Some like it hot,
Some like it cold,
Some like it in the pot,
Nine days old.
(There is a loud thud offstage, and THE MAN IN THE MOON
comes tumbling or somersaulting onto the stage from wings,
left.)
80
THE WAY TO NORWICH 81
IST CHILD: My stars!
2ND CHILD: Good night!
SRD CHILD: Who can it be?
4TH CHILD : A man !
OTHERS: But who?
4TH CHILD: Let's ask and see.
MAN IN THE MOON (Sitting comically on floor) :
The Man in the Moon! I tumbled down. (He looks around.)
Which is the way to Norwich?
IST CHILD (Teasingly) :
Go south and burn your mouth
With eating cold pease porridge.
2ND CHILD:
Go by east and have a feast
On pease too old for storage.
SRD CHILD :
Go by north and know henceforth
That pease are good for forage.
4TH CHILD:
Go by west and freeze your chest
With eating hot pease porridge.
MAN IN MOON : No thanks ! (He gets up and brushes himself off,
looks at children, peers into their dishes.)
What's all this talk, my friends, of pease ?
Why all this fuss with porridge?
People like me just eat green cheese., .anything else sounds
horridge.
Life should be simple! If you please, which is the way to
Norwich?
(CHILDREN look at each other, baffled)
IST CHILD: Nobody knows.
2ND CHILD : It's miles away.
SRD CHILD : Why take a trip so taxing?
4TH CHILD:
Most of our friends prefer to sleep or sit in a chair, relaxing.
CHILDREN (Chanting) :
Nancy Dawson was so fine
She wouldn't get up and feed the swine;
She lies in bed till eight or nine. . .
MAN IN MOON (Interrupting) : So it's shame on Nancy Dawson!
82 THE WAY TO NORWICH
IST CHILD (Calling toward wings, right) :
Little Boy Blue!
2ND CHILD : Come blow your horn.
3RD CHILD : The sheep's in the meadow. . .
4TH CHILD : The cow's in the corn.
MAN IN MOON : Where's the little boy that looks after the sheep?
CHILDREN (Shrugging) : Under the haystack, fast asleep!
MAN IN MOON:
Heavenly, days, he's fast asleep !
I must make a note of this to keep.
(He takes out a little notebook and writes as he mumbles, "Un-
der the haystack .. .fast asleep")
Maybe that's why the Earth's in deep.
(MAN IN MOON sfakes his head and looks worried.)
CHILDREN : Something the matter, Man in the Moon?
MAN IN MOON :
Something is wrong with your planet.
The things I have seen through my telescope !
Explosions of buildings and granite.
Columns of dust have gone up so high,
I had to come down to investigate why.
CHILDREN : Oh, my. Oh, my !
MAN IN MOON :
My wife, Lady Moon, is as worried as I.
I thought if I traveled to Norwich, you see,
I'd quickly find out what the trouble must be.
(Shakes finger at children)
Explosions are serious, my children, not comic. . .
especially when they look rather atomic!
If people aren't careful your globe will be strewn
with craters as gaping as those on the Moon.
(There is a noise in wings, right. All peer to look.)
CHILDREN : Somebody's coming.
MAN IN MOON:
They may know the way
to Norwich. . .I'll ask them
and see what they say.
(CHAIR MENDER with chair on back, and OLD CLOTHES MAN
with bag of old clothes over shoulder come in. They are en-
THE WAY TO NORWICH 83
grossed in telling each other their troubles. They cross stage as
they talk.)
CHAIR MENDER (Wailing) :
If I'd as much money as I could spend,
I never would cry old chairs to mend ;
Old chairs to mend, old chairs to mend ;
I would never cry old chairs to mend.
(CHAIR MENDER sighs, and turns out empty pockets. MAN IN
MOON approaches him.)
MAN IN MOON :
Pardon me, gentlemen. Pardon me, Sir —
which way to Norwich do you prefer?
CHAIR MENDER (Tersely) : The way that gets me a customer!
OLD CLOTHES MAN (Wailing) :
If I'd as much money as I could tell,
I never would cry old clothes to sell ;
Old clothes to sell, old clothes to sell;
I never would cry old clothes to sell.
MAN IN MOON : The way to Norwich, gentlemen. . .please. . .
OLD CLOTHES MAN (Bitterly) : The way that helps me get rid of
these ! (Indicates clothes and the two men exit. MAN IN MOON
looks after them.)
MAN IN MOON :
Well! What do you think of a thing like that?
They only think of money.
(Takes out notebook and writes)
That is the trouble, I bet my hat.
It's really so sad it's funny.
I must make a record that people wear blinds
when dollars and cents are too much on their minds.
CHILDREN (Chanting) :
My little old man and I fell out ;
I'll tell you what 'twas all about, —
I had money and he had none,
And that's the way the noise begun.
MAN IN MOON :
Money makes oodles of trouble, all right —
Greed is a vice that's horridge.
(There is a noise in wings left and CHILDREN and MAN IN
MOON look to see who it is)
84 THE WAY TO NORWICH
A boy and his pony have come in sight !
I'll ask them the way to Norwich.
(A BOY leading his PONY comes in. The BOY affectionately pats
his PONY as he talks.)
BOY : I had a little pony,
His name was Dapple-Gray,
I lent him to a lady
To ride a mile away.
She whipped him, she lashed him,
She rode him through the mire;
I would not lend my pony now
For any lady's hire !
MAN IN MOON :
Which is the way to Norwich, buddy?
Mind if I inquire?
Is the road good or is it muddy,
does it go through a mire?
BOY (Belligerently):
I would not lend my pony now
For any person's hire!
(He says giddyap to his PONY and hurries out before MAN IN
MOON can ask more questions.)
MAN IN MOON (Looking after him) :
That lad is running a temperature !
He's fearful and suspicious.
(Takes out notebook and writes in it)
He had tough luck, and it makes him sure
everyone is malicious.
My stars, I'm getting some facts all right
though Norwich still is out of sight.
(MAN IN MOON looks apprisingly at notes, counts things wrong
on fingers as he talks)
Too many people are fast asleep. . .
too much concern with money . . .
too much wanting a life that's sweet,
flowing with milk and honey. . .
too much suspicion and fear and hate.
The picture isn't sunny.
Seems I'm finding some reasons why
atom bombs blow dust in the sky.
THE WAY TO NORWICH 85
IST CHILD (Looking right) : Two people coming!
2ND CHILD: Perhaps they'll know...
SRD CHILD : The way to Norwich.
4-TH CHILD: I doubt it, though. (Two GOSSIPY GIRLS come in, one
talking excitedly to the other.)
IST GIRL:
Molly, my sister, and I fell out,
And what do you think it was all about?
She loved coffee and I loved tea,
And that was the reason we couldn't agree.
MAN IN MOON (Approaching) : Is Norwich close... or over
the sea?
IST GIRL:
Norwich? Better ask Tweedle-dee,
or Tweedle-dum, as the case may be.
2ND GIRL (To IST GIRL) :
She loved coffee and you loved tea. . .
that was the reason you couldn't agree ?
(The girls exit, and CHILDREN chant another rhyme.)
CHILDREN :
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
Resolved to have a battle,
For Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
MAN IN MOON (Taking notes in his little book) :
Too many battles and tiffs and fights
for foolish little reasons!
Some people should be ashamed, by rights —
quarreling these days is treason. (Sighs heavily)
No wonder the bombs go plop ! Dear me,
making a point about coffee or tea. . .
CHILDREN : It is pretty foolish, Man in the Moon.
MAN IN MOON (Suddenly) :
Why should I go to Norwich?
I've found enough reasons here, this noon,
to last me forevermore-idge. . .
Laziness, greediness, jealousy, quarrels,
fear, and suspicion . . . don't earn any laurels,
but mix up a planet's good-nature and morals !
(Takes out watch and looks at it.)
86 THE WAY TO NORWICH
Good night! I'd better be going soon
and tell my discovery to Lady Moon.
We're due to rise in an hour or so ...
Fll give you a wink when the sun is low.
IST CHILD: Please, Mr. Man in the Moon, don't go and leave us
to bombs and rockets.
2ND CHILD : Please, can't you give us a hint or so to keep in our
minds and pockets?
3RD CHILD: Give some advice so our faults will cease,
4TH CHILD : So we can live happily here in peace.
MAN IN MOON :
My children, it's simple:
all people are brothers.
As you would be treated,
be sure to treat others ;
and then all your blessings will be astronomic
and you will be masters of matters atomic.
Remember, you're brothers !
Don't make any slips
or your planet may suffer
a total eclipse.
(MAN IN MOON shakes a warning finger, smiles, and then be-
gins to somersault backwards to the zoopy sound of a slide
whistle. CHAIR MENDER, OLD CLOTHES MAN, BOY and PONY,
and Two GOSSIPY GIRLS poke their heads in from wings to see
what in the world is happening.)
CHILDREN :
The Man in the Moon came tumbling down
and asked the way to Norwich. . .
OTHERS :
We showed him all our faults instead,
and they were pretty horridge!
(All come front stage and join hands and nod at each other as
they say the final lines)
ALL:
But here and now
we make a vow
to put our faults in storage.
THE END
LOUISA ALCU 11 'b wi2>rf
by Sophie L. Goldsmith
Characters
LOUISA ALCOTT, six at this time. May be acted by a child of eight
or nine.
MRS. BRONSON ALCOTT, her mother
BRONSON ALCOTT, her father
PAT O'RouRKE, an Irish lad of seven or eight
BIDDY O'RouRKE, his sister, a year or so older
THE TOWN CRIER
MRS. O'RouRXE
GIANT, the dog
SCENE 1
SETTING: The living-room of the Alcott family.
AT RISE: On the floor, surrounded by books, sits six-year-old
LOUISA. She is building a bridge out of large, fat books, and
every once in a while she stops to scribble something on paper.
Her father sits next to her, watching her proudly, and -on the
other side of her sits her mother, rocking the baby to sleep.
BRONSON ALCOTT: You see, Abigail! She has already a natural
taste for books !
MRS. ALCOTT: Now, Bronson! The child is just learning to read!
Do you suppose she has any idea what book she's using?
LOUISA : I want the big, fat book beginning with "B," Father.
BRONSON ALCOTT: There! She knows Bacon's Essays already!
MRS. ALCOTT: Why do you want that book, dear? It's a very
big, heavy one.
LOUISA: That's just why, Marmee, dear! I want to make a bridge
of it, and then I want to walk across the bridge and sail far,
far away !
MRS. ALCOTT : Wouldn't you just as soon keep Baby for me for
a few minutes?
87
88 LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH
LOUISA (Stretching out her arms for Baby) : Oh, yes indeed.
MRS. ALCOTT (Handing baby to her) : Be careful of her! Come,
Bronson. Help me tc move Anna out of her room — ours is
sunnier and better for her cold.
BRONSON ALCOTT: Very well, my dear. Louisa, you will find
Plato on the lowest shelf. He is also rather a heavy book, but
useful — useful !
LOUISA: Oh, thank you, Father! (Exit MR. and MRS. ALCOTT.
LOUISA, left alone, talks to the baby while she builds a house all
of books around her.) Now, baby, dear, I was. going to build
a bridge, but instead I'll build a nice, cozy cottage all for you.
Let's pretend you are my very own baby,, and that this is our
brand-new cottage. Dear me, I have nothing to feed you with !
Will you be very good and wait till Louisa gets you something
to eat? Will you? (She peeps inside the fence of books and
waves good-bye.) Good-bye, baby! Louisa is coming right
back ! (Backing to the exit and blowing kisses to the baby, she
goes out. Naturally nothing can be seen of the baby, because the
high fence of books completely hides her. Enter MRS. ALCOTT.)
MRS. ALCOTT (Looking about the room): Louisa! (Colling)
Louisa! Where can she be? And the baby, too ! (Calling more
loudly and continuing to search everywhere except inside the
fence of books.) Louisa! Louisa!
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: The Boston Common.
AT RISE: PAT and BIDDY are sitting on bench swinging their feet.
GIANT, tne avg, squats at one end of the bench.)
BIDDY: I do believe you are afraid of that dog, Pat!
PAT: Traid! I guess not! I'm just tired of playin', that's all.
LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH 89
( GIANT half gets up and starts toward PAT, who shrinks back.
GIANT growls and lies down again.)
BIDDY: Oh, no, you're not afraid! Oh, not (Enter LOUISA, roll-
ing a hoop. As she comes skipping along in back of her hoop, it
rolls, into GIANT. Immediately LOUISA kneels next to him and
puts her arms around his neck.)
LOUISA: Did I hurt you, dog? Oh, what a beauty you are! (She
pets him, and he snuggles up to her.)
BIDDY: That's more than you'd dare do, Pat!
LOUISA (Looks up from patting GIANT, and notices children for
the first time.) : Hello, little girl!
BIDDY: Hello!
LOUISA: Is this your dog?
BIDDY: Oh, no. We were playing here, and he came along and
then we couldn't play any more.
LOUISA: Why not?
BIDDY : Well, you see — (Here GIANT gives a growl. She shrinks
away.) He's so big, and Pat tried to tie a can to his tail —
LOUISA: Tie a can to his tail! How dared he do such a thing?
PAT : Aw, that's nothin'. We do it to all the dogs in our alley.
LOUISA: But it's cruel! And such a beautiful dog, too! (Pets
him.)
PAT: That's just like a girl! We were just havin' some fun —
most of 'em don't mind. They like it.
LOUISA : Like it ! I'd like to do it to you and see how you'd like it !
PAT : All right ! Go ahead !
LOUISA: Do you really mean it?
PAT : Sure I do. Here — here's the can. (He reaches under the
bench and picks up an old tin can with a string tied to it.) Here
— tie it on me. I bet / won't say a word.
LOUISA : Oh, what fun ! Only you haven't got any tail.
BIDDY : Wait — I'll fix him a tail. I got this out of the ashcan
this morning. I knew it would come in handy. (From the
pocket of her torn and dirty apron she produces a scraggy bit
of fur from an old neckpiece.) There's your tail, Pat ! (She pins
the tail on his jacket, and LOUISA ties the can on the tail. PAT
gets on all fours, barking like a dog and dragging the tail behind
him. Suddenly GIANT leaps on himf and boy and dog roll over
and over.)
BIDDY: Oh, oh, oh! Hell kill him, I know he will! Get off there
90 LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH
— get off, you great big dog, you ! (As they are scuffling, enter
MRS. O'RouRKE. She is a big Irishwoman, and she carries in
her hand a paper bag.)
MRS. O'ROURKE : Well, for the love of the saints ! An' what are
you children doin' now?
LOUISA (To GIANT, the dog) : Come here, sir! Come here, I say!
(GIANT gives PAT a final roll-over and bounds over to LOUISA.)
Didn't you know he was only playing? Bad dog, to frighten
them so! Bad dog! (PATS sits up and rubs his bumps. GIANT
puts his head contritely on one side.)
MRS. O'RouRKE (To PAT) : A fine-lookin' fellow you are, my
lad ! Letting a little lass call the dog off you !
PAT (Sulkily) : She didn't need to call him off. I knew all the
time he was just fooling.
MRS. O'RouRKE (Spying PAT'S "tail" as he gets up and rubs him-
self off) : And where does this come from?
BIDDY : Twas in the ashcan, Mom. I didn' think you wanted it
any more.
MRS. O'ROURKE: No more I did. But no more I ever wished to
see it again. I thought 'twas gone for good and all. (She un-
packs the paper bag she carries.) Come, now — 'tis time for
lunch. Will ye be having a bite and a sup with us, little lady?
LOUISA: Oh, thank you. (She eats what is handed to her.) My,
this is good! What is it?
PAT: What should it be? Cold fish an' cold potatoes, o'course!
LOUISA: Fish! How splendid! I never had any.
BIDDY: Never had any fish!
LOUISA: No, my father won't let us eat fish or meat. We have
only vegetables and bread and fruit.
MRS. O'RouRKE: Saints alive! And who may your father be?
LOUISA: Don't you know my father? Why, he's Bronson Alcott,
and I'm his little girl, Louisa.
PAT: How come you're here?
LOUISA: Well, you see, I was taking care of Baby, and I had
nothing to feed her, so I went to get something. And then the
sun looked so beautiful, I just slipped out of the house and
walked a little way, and then I walked a teeny bit more — and
here I am !
MRS. O'ROURKE: Well, you'd best be getting back to the baby!
LOUISA: Yes, I s'pose I ought. May I bring her a piece of this
LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH 91
salt fish? She's never had any, you know.
PAT : Sure — bring her mine. I hate the stuff.
BIDDY : And bring her this tail to play with. She won't be raising
a fuss with it, the way Pat did. (Hands LOUISA the "tail")
LOUISA: Oh, thank you all. How kind you are! Good-bye —
good-bye! (Exit MRS. O'RouRKE, BIDDY and PAT. LOUISA
climbs up on the bench, spreads out the piece of paper which
they have left, and carefully wraps in it the pieces of salt fish
and tail. GIANT, the dog, jumps up on the bench with her, and
she talks to him.)
LOUISA: My, isn't it splendid to see the world, dog! I wonder
what your real name is? I shall call you "Giant" because you're
so big. ( GIANT claps his paws.) Now, Giant, I'm going to take
you home with me and show you my baby sister and the beauti-
ful house I built for her. Oh, it's such a beauty ! Father let me
have all his biggest books for it, and I built them all snug around
her. (She yawns.) Oh, excuse me, Giant! The sun's making
me sleepy! (She yawns again.) I've had a long walk, you know.
Shall we go home, Giant? Shall we. (Her head droops down
on his shoulders.) Nice dog — good dog. (She falls asleep.
There is a pause of a minute or two while she sleeps with GIANT
on guard. Then in the distance a clanging dinner bell is heard,
and a voice calling.)
TOWN CRIER (In the distance) : Lost! A little girl, six years old,
in a pink frock, white hat, and new green shoes ! Anyone find-
ing this child, please return to the distracted parents, Mr. and
Mrs. Amos Bronson Alcott ! (He comes on the stage, ringing
his big dinner bell and proclaiming.) Lost! A little girl, six years
old, in a pink frock, white hat, and green shoes ! Anyone find-
ing this child, please return to the distracted parents, Mr. and
Mrs. Amos Bronson Alcott! (He approaches LOUISA'S bench.
At the sound of his bell and voice, she awakens with a start,
listening as he again proclaims.) Lost! A little girl, six years
old, in a pink frock, white hat, and new green shoes ! Anyone
finding this child, please refurn to the distracted parents, Mr.
and Mrs. Amos Bronson Alcott! ( GIANT also does a bit of
pantomiming, tapping LOUISA, pointing at her, etc.)
LOUISA (Wide awake now) : Why, I'm Louisa! Here I am, sir
— here I am !
TOWN CRIER (Turning and seeing her) : Why, so you are! How
92 LOUISA ALCOTT*S WISH
did you get here, child?
LOUISA : Oh, I just walked. It was easy !
TOWN CRIER (Again ringing his bell) : Found ! Found ! A little
girl, six years old, in a pink frock, white hat —
LOUISA (As loudly as possibly): And new green shoes! (She
takes the bell from the hand of the astonished TOWN CRIER, and
walks ahead of him. GIANT, picking up the newspaper package
with his teeth, brings up the rear.) Hurrah, everybody! Found,
a little girl, six years old, in a pink frock, white hat, and new
green shoes ! (As she proclaims this, ringing the bell, the little
procession exits.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING : The same as Scene 1. The fence of books is fust exact-
ly as LOUISA has left it.
AT RISE : MR. and MRS. ALCOTT are sitting together at the win-
dow, anxiously looking out.
MRS. ALCOTT : Oh, if we only had some news ! Where can she be ?
BRONSON ALCOTT : She cannot be very far off, my dfear. Surely
those little feet cannot go far, especially when she's carrying
the baby.
MRS. ALCOTT: Yes, to think she took Baby with her! I cannot
believe she would do such a thing! (The sound of the bell is
heard, and LOUISA'S voice heard proclaiming loudly — "Found
—" etc., etc.)
BRONSON ALCOTT: You see? Providence watches over her, my
dear.
MRS. ALCOTT: Oh, how happy I am! (Enter LOUISA, TOWN
CRIER, GIANT. LOUISA rushes up to her mother and hugs her,
then to her father. GIANT goes to one end of the room and sits
there, guarding the package.)
LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH 93
LOUISA: Mother, I've had such a splendid time.
MRS. ALCOTT (Hugging her, too) : Louisa! What a fright you
gave us, my darling! But where is Baby?
LOUISA: Why, I left her in my new cottage.
MRS. ALCOTT: Your new cottage? Where, dear? Where?
LOUISA: Right here, Marmee, darling! (She goes over to the
fence of books, stoops over, and lifts the baby out.) Why, I do
believe she's been fast asleep all this time!
MRS. ALCOTT: Louisa! This is too good to be true! (She takes
the baby from LOUISA'S arms.) True — fast asleep!
BRONSON ALCOTT: Louisa, my dear, it is impossible to be harsh
with you. But I fear you must be taught not to give us so
much anxiety in the future. (He takes a piece of strong cord
from his pocket, and ties it around LOUISA'S waist. Then he ties
the other end around a chair.) For the rest of the day, Louisa,
you will remain right here. Perhaps this will help you to re-
member not to run away again.
TOWN CRIER : Well, I must be going. Sorry to see you in trouble,
miss, but it won't last long. Would you like your parcel?
LOUISA (Reaching out her hands eagerly): Oh, yes! Yes, in-
deed! (He takes the parcel from GIANT'S mouth, and hands it
to her. Then he goes out, touching his hat.)
MRS. ALCOTT: What have you there, Louisa?
LOUISA : Oh, please, Marmee, dear, it's a secret. I can't tell you.
MR. ALCOTT: Secrets flourish well in solitude, Louisa. We will
leave you with your secret and your own reflections. (Exit MR.
and MRS. ALCOTT.)
LOUISA (Starts to go across the room to GIANT, but the cord
which ties her to the chair prevents her from doing so. She
stretches out her arms to him. With a bound, he jumps over
to her and rubs his nose against her.): Never mind, Giant!
When I grow up, I'm going to write books, and tell other chil-
dren all about good times like we had today. ( Unwraps parcel
and starts feeding GIANT.) And I think maybe you'd better eat
this fish instead of Baby. Don't you think so, Giant? ( GIANT
nods and chews happily. LOUISA examines the fur piece PAT has
used as a tail.) But you wouldn't want this tail, would you,
Giant? (He shakes his head.) You have such a beautiful one
of your own. When I grow up I'll have a lovely tail too — but
no, I think I'd rather write stories. Yes, I'm sure I'd rather do
94 LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH
that. (She reaches over to where "Plutarch's Lives? is lying
face downward, and starts scribbling busily. Enter BRONSON
ALCOTT.)
MR. ALCOTT: What are you tying, Louisa?
LOUISA: I'm writing a story about everything that happened to-
day. Some day I mean to write lots and lots of stories, and
then I wish everybody in the world would read them.
GIANT (Stepping to the middle of the stage and bowing low while
LOUISA scribbles in utter absorption, and BRONSON ALCOTT
looks over her shoulder) : And we all know Louisa's wish came
true, don't we?
THE END
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
by Mania S. Graham
Characters
A PATRIARCH
DAVID
ADRIANA
MYRON
ALLEGRA
ANDREW
MILLJCENT
SCENE 1
SETTING : The portico of a cottage. A roadway runs in front of the
house.
AT RISE : PATRIARCH sits in a wheelchair reading. His hair and
beard are snow white; he wears old-fashioned horn-rimmed
spectacles. A rug is thrown over his legs although the day is
mild. DAVID, at left, peeps in, sees the PATRIARCH is alone. He
tiptoes to the portico.
DAVID : Good morrow, grandsire.
PATRIARCH : My blessing, David.
DAVID : Thank you, sir. How are thy legs this morning?
PATRIARCH :
Bound as with thongs, my son, bound as with thongs.
(For a moment he is sad.)
I must not burden thee with my outworn members.
By our Lord's grace and infinite mercy
Here may I sit and watch the world go by.
Tell me, David, where goest thou today?
DAVID:
Ah, grandsire, hast not heard the last day
Of Essex Fair a fete of flowers will be?
(PATRIARCH closes book, settles to listen.)
95
96 THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
On him who brings the most unusual flower
A prize, a bag of gold, will be bestowed.
I want to bear the most unusual one.
PATRIARCH :
How about the cowslips that lift their heads
Beside the brook in thy father's meadow ?
DAVID : The flower I bear unusual must be.
PATRIARCH :
What could be rarer or more beautiful
Than the cowslip's crown of purest gold?
DAVID : Tis only a very common flower.
PATRIARCH :
I think not so. Were I able to pluck
But one —
DAVID: Dear grandsire, I am sorry. A handful I shall bring to
thee when from this journey I return.
PATRIARCH: Art going on a journey?
DAVID (Nods):
In the high and low places of earth I shall
Seek until the rarest flower I've found.
(Notes the pained expression on the PATRIARCH'S face.) Must
I go without thy blessing?
PATRIARCH : David,
Thou knowest full well thou hast it always.
(DAVID starts away.)
And when thou hast returned?
DAVID : To thee 111 come.
First to thine eyes shall the prize be revealed.
(Goes off. PATRIARCH looks after DAVID, opens book, turns a
page. ADRIANA, a minx with dark curls, skips on. She is about
to run down the road.)
PATRIARCH : Adriana ! (She stops.) Why all this rush and fuss?
ADRIANA: Hast not heard of the fete at Essex Fair? (PATRIARCH
nods.) I must bear the most unusual blossom.
PATRIARCH : Knowest the harebell on its slender stem?
ADRIANA (Laughs and pats the PATRIARCH'S cheek) : Thou'rt too
old-fashioned. Harebells are cheap. I shall seek among the finest
city shops.
PATRIARCH : Heaven's blue is caught in the harebell's cup.
ADRIANA (Concedes with condescension) :
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER 97
I go to the Street of Rarest Blossoms.
(She skips away before the PATRIARCH can detain her. MYRON
enters, head bowed; he walks slowly.)
PATRIARCH : Myron! Why art thou cast down?
MYRON (Sits on the edge of portico) :
Ah, grandsire,
My heart's a stone within me because of
The lowly state to which I am begot.
PATRIARCH :
Hold up thy head. In Dundrear's whole estate
None is trusted as thy sire.
He guards the —
MYRON :
Aye, but had my sire the estate instead
Of only guardianship. . .Then might I
Bear the most beauteous bloom to Essex Fair.
(Jumps up.)
I tell thee, grandsire, my heart is like to
Break with the injustice !
PATRIARCH (In even voice) : Myron, thy
Heart bursteth with black envy. I could wish —
MYRON :
That I'd sit idly by whilst Dundrear's son adds
The bag of gold to his chest already
Swollen noxiously by my sire's labor.
PATRIARCH : Fear thine own covetousness — not Dundrear.
MYRON (Moving towards right) :
Where'er I find the loveliest flower I shall pluck it.
PATRIARCH: Dost know Lake Donovan? (MYRON nods.) On its
upper shore grows pink wild iris.
MYRON : The meanest cowherd may bear wild iris.
PATRIARCH : Its color is so delicate —
MYRON : 'Tis common !
Ugh, how I hate commonness. I'll haste me
To the gardens of the rich. There I shall
Find the winning bloom.
(Goes off. ALLEGRA, plump, fair-haired, strolls on.)
PATRIARCH : Allegra, my girl,
Thou'rt pure delight after Myron's dour countenance.
ALLEGRA: Complaining of injustice.
98 THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
He may have the right idea.
PATRIARCH : One must work —
ALLEGRA :
Mother works. What hath she? Wrinkles, gray hair.
Lady Dundrear toileth not, yet hath all.
Nay, I shall not work.
PATRIARCH : Hast found thy flower for Essex Fair?
ALLEGRA : Not yet
PATRIARCH : Bestir thyself.
ALLEGRA :
111 find it, and Til not rob it of all
Beauty by toiling for it.
(Strolls off in leisurely manner.)
PATRIARCH: True, alas.
ANDREW (Entering with a large book) :
Didst call to me, grandsire?
PATRIARCH : Nay, Andrew,
I bade Allegra speed.
ANDREW : I seek a flower.
PATRIARCH: With a book?
ANDREW (Displays title) : "Guide to the Grande Flora."
I dare not disclose this information.
PATRIARCH: Dost know the columbine of Morenhast?
ANDREW : Aye, sir.
PATRIARCH : If God hath made flower rarer
The bee hath not found it.
ANDREW : Huntsmen know, too.
I must secure the rarest specimen.
Numbers make the columbine so common.
For my entry I journey far from here. (Hurries off.)
PATRIARCH: Youth! Youth! (Sighs deeply.)
MILLICENT (A serious, sweet-faced girl enters. She runs to the
PATRIARCH, is sympathetic) : Is it the pain in thy poor legs?
PATRIARCH: Nay, Millicent, 'tis here. (Lays hand over heart.)
Youth will not heed.
MILLICENT : Dear grandsire, I listen to thy counsel.
PATRIARCH (Pats her hand, smiles at her) : Thou art my gentlest.
The others seldom heed.
MILLICENT : I must tell thee of the fair at Essex.
PATRIARCH : Already I have heard. Art not going?
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER 99
MILLICENT:
As soon as Mother is improved. Today
She lieth white from last night's suffering.
I know where blooms the loveliest flower,
But it is leagues away.
PATRIARCH: Many blossoms
Of great beauty can be found hereabout.
MILLICENT :
Only the sweet brier remains and it
Can be found beside each door step.
PATRIARCH : Your friends
Have gone to distant places.
VOICE (Offstage calls faintly) : Millicent —
MILLICENT : The mother calls. (Hurries off.)
PATRIARCH : Five of them wander far; one goes home. (Muses)
We shall see what we shall see.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same as Scene 1 some time later.
AT RISE : PATRIARCH sits as before. An air of secrecy and ex-
pectancy pen/odes the place.)
DAVID : (Approaches from left) : Good morrow, grandsire.
PATRIARCH : Ah, David, home again ! I see thou hast found a
flower.
DAVID : Fairest
E'er unfolded before the eye of man.
(Lowers his voice.)
It hath three broad petals which fall downward
From two that curl up. It's pure white. White as
Snows that fall on the eve of Christmas.
100 THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
PATRIARCH : Whence
Came it? I'm sure you've sought diligently.
DAVID:
Through valleys and on mountain tops I searched.
In the depths of a wood grew my treasure.
Too fair it was for the sun to shine upon.
I've found the blossom most unusual.
PATRIARCH : Wait here. Peradventure thy comrades may come.
DAVID (Looks down the road) :
Here's Adriana walking as if she
Might have the prize.
(Sits on edge oj portico).
ADRIANA (Enters; her curls bob as she skips up to kiss the PA-
TRIARCH) : Thrice must I kiss thee, sir.
I've found the flower which will win the gold.
PATRIARCH : So says David.
ADRIANA: He doesn't know beauty.
I had the help of a great lady.
DAVID: Grandsire,
Listen to her boasting.
ADRIANA : All the day long
I'd looked at roses, heartsease, marigolds.
Anon I thought how could I, a stranger,
Know the best shops. I waited on the curb
Until a coach turned into the street.
Out I stepped with hand upraised. The lady,
Fairer than a queen threw down the window
And cried, "Ho, what's amiss?" Then I made bold
To ask my favor. What think ye, Grandsire,
David? She bade the coachman open wide
The door that I might enter. To a shop
In William's High Road she bore me. She slipped
Coins into my hand, enough to buy half
The flowers in Christendom. The florist
Thought I was a beggar maid. "Begone," he
Cried, "This is not a Friday." Full into
His eye I looked, like this, David.
(The two pantomime the meeting with the florist.)
And said,
"I come to buy not beg. I want the most
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER 101
Unusual flower in thy whole mart.
I'll carry it to the Essex Fair and win
A prize." His manner changed; he led me
To a room wherein a fountain trickled.
There I saw this.
(Holds her package high.) Precious! It hurts here yet. (Lays
her hand over her heart.)
Knowest thou the bright edge of flame where fire
Burns hottest?
PATRIARCH : Yes, Adriana.
ADRIANA : That gives
Small notion of this flaming radiance.
(Restrains an impulse to open the packet, sits on portico oppo*
site DAVID.)
MYRON (Enters with quicker, lighter step than in previous scene) :
Grandsire, I have it.
PATRIARCH (Signals to DAVID and ADRIANA they shall not chal-
lenge the statement) :
So? Your countenance is lightened.
MYRON : I have found a flower —
The most unusual Dame Nature hath
Created. Its petals are the texture
Of velvet — from which Kingly robes are made,
And King among flowers it shall reign.
PATRIARCH : It must be royal purple.
MYRON : Thou'art not far wrong.
It came from the most imposing mansion
In the city. The gate keeper would have
Sent me packing, but as the iron door
Swung to I slipped beneath his arm. Once
Inside I told him of my quest. The lord
Of the house lay dead, buried, as it were,
In every sort of blossom. At dusk
I crept into the magnate's chamber. Thrown
Over his bier like a blanket dropped from
Heaven lay dozens of these flowers. I
Plucked this one —
(ADRIANA and DAVID jump up.)
PATRIARCH (Troubled) : Thou hast thieved the dead —
MYRON : Speak not
102 THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
So harshly. The dead man could not miss it.
PATRIARCH : Thine own peace of mind — is't not disturbed?
MYRON:
Not in the least. The man who lay beneath
That blanket had toiled no more than this sweet
Flower. His whole life through he had feasted
On the product of others' labor.
PATRIARCH : Son,
I'm indeed grieved to learn in what devious
Paths Ambition hath led thee.
MYRON (Shrugs) : I have found
The flower.
PATRIARCH : So sayeth Adriana.
Come, Myron, tarry here. (Listens.) Methinks I hear
Allegra's merry laugh.
ADRIANA (Moves down left, looks down road) : With Andrew,
too.
ALLEGRA (Enters unth ANDREW) : The day is fair, grandsire.
PATRIARCH : Yes, Allegra,
Andrew. Ye bear your flowers.
ALLEGRA: Mine is best. (With scornful gesture ADRIANA returns
to her seat. MYRON and DAVID lounge against the portico.)
None can fairer be, grandsire. 'Tis faint pink,
Like the flush on a baby's cheek when it
Sleepeth. And where do you think I found it?
PATRIARCH : I know not.
ALLEGRA: The way was long. I wearied — (All laugh.)
PATRIARCH : Weariness comes soon to thee.
ALLEGRA : Into a great
Cathedral to rest I crept. Strains of sweet
Music pealed from the organ. The portals
Were flung open, a bridal party came.
The bride all pearls and satin was vision
Fair to see. She held my flower nestling
In a bed of valley lilies. Its like
Nor you nor Andrew nor Adriana
Hath ever seen.
PATRIARCH : The bride was good to bestow
The flower on thee.
ALLEGRA : She does not know I have it.
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER 103
-PATRIARCH : Allegra, my dear.
ALLEGRA : Rebuke me
Not please until you've heard my story.
When the ceremony was over there
Was much of kissing, laughing, a little
Weeping. In that vast cathedral I alone
Thought or cared a whit about the flower.
None noticed as I crept near and watched
My chance to pluck —
(Even MYRON is astounded.)
PATRIARCH : Please say no more, dear child.
This flower belongeth to the bride.
ALLEGRA : She
Hath lilies and a new husband. She
Could not grudge me this one for Essex Fair.
(She sits beside ADRIANA and pouts.)
PATRIARCH (To ANDREW) : I hope thou hast come by thine fairly.
ANDREW:
By the sweat of my brow, sir, and by wounds.
My beauty grew high in all its golden splendor,
High as eagles nest. A mother bird would
Have borne me off lest I should bring harm
To her fledglings. Her great wings whirred so near
I plucked my blossom and hasted me away.
Oh, grandsire, I love it, as lad loves maid.
At Essex there can be none lovelier.
PATRIARCH: Time will tell. What is keeping Millicent?
ANDREW (Peers off left.) : Come, Millcie, you'll make us late to
the Fair. (MILLICENT enters.)
PATRIARCH: Millcie, do I see tears in thy blue eyes?
MILLICENT: Oh, grandsire. (Runs to PATRIARCH, hides her head
on his shoulder.)
PATRIARCH (Speaks comfortingly) :
Come, come, my love, do not grieve.
Thy friends will leave thee here at home with thy
Old bounden grandsire.
MILLICENT : It is better so.
For I have only the sweet brier rose
To take.
104 THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
PATRIARCH :
No flower in the length and breadth
Of Christendom is lovelier.
MILLICENT : Had the
Mother not been ill, I should have hied me
To where the River Xanxi washeth gold
Tipped sands. On the left bank grows a flower
The like of which none here hath ever seen.
The petals are deep ivory flecked with
Brilliant blue. It's called a strange name — orchid.
(At mention of the name each character starts, protects his
flower as if it were about to be revealed. Those who are sitting
rise and move toward exit.)
PATRIARCH :
Hold, lads and maidens all ! Have ye forgot
Mine eyes have not yet beheld the blossoms?
(The children turn back toward him.)
My legs bind me to this chair. I cannot
Rise up and follow thee to Essex Fair.
(Each clutches the flower more firmly.)
Think you my glance will rob the lovely blooms
Of their beauty? Come, line up three and three.
Let me judge which is most unusual.
(He indicates two lines converging from the doorstep.) Myron,
wilt give my chair a twist? (My RON moves the chair to center.)
Thanks, Myron. Now, all together, take off the papers. (The
coverings are removed and reveal five orchids and one sweet
brier rose. All are astounded.) One, two, three, four, five orchids,
only one sweet brier rose. Millicent, it looks as if the bag of
gold is thine. (The characters are indignant; they break line.)
ADRIAN A: How can that be?
PATRIARCH :
Can you not see five are of one kind?
Therefore usual. You say the flower
Must be unusual. Only the rose
Is different.
MYRON : That is not fair.
PATRIARCH : Let thine
Own eyes be judge.
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER 105
ADRIANA : Mine is very rare ;
I bought it in William's High Road.
MYRON : Mine came from the bier of a wealthy lord.
ALLERGA : I plucked mine from a bride's bouquet.
DAVID : For mine
I waded in ice cold waters.
ANDREW : I climbed high
Into the clouds for mine.
MILLICENT : Mine grew beside
Our own doorstep.
MYRON : Each of us could have
Brought a sweet brier rose.
PATRIARCH : But you did not
My dears, my dears, can you not see.
Were ye six kings and I a clown
Here I would unusual be?
THE END
THE LANGUAGE SHOP
by Mazie Hall
Characters
CLERK
CUSTOMER
PRINCIPAL
PRINCIFLES, two girls
MESSENGER BOY
SOMEONE, a girl
ANYONE, a girl
EVERYONE, a boy
ANYBODY, a boy
His, a 603;
DONE, a boy
HAVE, a boy
FIFI
GREEK CITIZEN
ROMAN CITIZEN
FRENCH CITIZEN
SOLDIER
SETTING: A store.
AT RISE: A CLERK is busy arranging boxes of different shapes
and sizes which are displayed on the counter. Signs, "Slightly
used adjectives" and "Adverbs— Shop-worn," "Reduced in
price" are prominently displayed.
CLERK : May I help you, sir ?
CUSTOMER: Yes, perhaps you can. You see, my vocabulary is
completely outgrown. I need to replenish it.
CLERK: Yes, sir. Shall we start with some nouns? I have a
complete line of them.
CUSTOMER: Well, I think my nouns are adequate. But I some-
times have trouble deciding which of two nouns to use.
CLERK: Like this, sir? (He holds up two cards. One has the
106
THE LANGUAGE SHOP 107
word "Principal" and the other "Principle")
CUSTOMER: Yes, that's what I mean.
CLERK: I can help you there. (He rings a bell.) This one (He
holds up a card) means chief; like the principal speaker at a
banquet, or the principal of a school. This one (He takes up
the other card) means a fundamental or primary truth, as the
principles of democracy. (MESSENGER BOY enters.)
BOY : Did you ring for me, sir ?
CLERK: Yes. Please go to the stockroom and bring me samples
of these two nouns.
BOY (Taking the two cards) : Yes, sir. Right away, sir. (Goes
out briskly.)
CUSTOMER: That's a brisk party.
CLERK: Yes, sir. But you used the wrong noun there. He is a
person. We only use "party" in legal work. Lawyers talk about
the "party of the first part." But ordinary individuals are per-
sons. (BoY enters, followed by a woman.)
BOY : Here she is, sir.
CLERK : Will you tell this gentleman who you are and what you
do?
PRINCIPAL: Certainly. I am the head, or principal, of a school.
I am in charge of the school and it is my duty to see that it is
well managed, that the children are faithfully taught, that the
teachers do their work well and that work proceeds regularly
and smoothly. I am a principal. (She steps aside.)
CLERK: Now, will you come in? (Two little girls carrying a large
sign enter. The sign reads, "Congress shall make no law re-
specting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free
exercise thereof or abridging the freedom of speech, or the
press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the Government for a redress of grievances")
CUSTOMER: This must be taken from the Constitution. It is
fundamental to democracy.
CLERK: Yes, sir. These are the principles upon which our gov-
ernment is established.
CUSTOMER: Well, how could I ever confuse these principles with
that principal? (The PRINCIPAL and the "PRINCIPLES" go out.)
CLERK: Many people do, sir. What can I show you next? How
about pronouns? Ours are very fine and sure to agree with
their antecedents.
108 THE LANGUAGE SHOP
CUSTOMER: Well, I would like to see some indefinite pronouns.
I always have trouble with them.
CLERK: Yes, indeed. (Steps to the side of stage and beckons.
Two boys and two girls enter, each carrying a large 'sign. One
sign says "Someone/' one "Anyone" another "Everybody?9 and
the last "Anybody." They take their places on the stage.) Now,
sir, we need another pronoun to agree with these. Which shall
it be — "his," "hers" or "theirs"?
CUSTOMER : Well, I don't know. I usually try the first one I find.
CLERK: Well, suppose "Someone" has lost a hat? Is it his hat,
or her hat, or their hat? (SOMEONE steps to the front of the
stage and goes through the motions of searching for a hat.)
CUSTOMER: Why, Someone has lost "his" hat! (When he says
"his" a child runs on the stage, carrying a sign that says "His."
He stands beside SOMEONE.)
CLERK: That's right. Now suppose Anyone can find the hat he
has.
CUSTOMER: Anyone can find "his" hat. (ANYONE pulls a hat out
of his pocket and puts it on.)
CLERK : Yes, sir. You used the right pronoun with both of those.
Everybody, you come forward.
CUSTOMER: Everybody has trouble with his pronouns. (His runs
out and stands by EVERYBODY as soon as his name is called.)
CLERK: Yes, sir. Anybody is apt to get his pronouns mixed.
(His runs to stand beside ANYBODY), unless he remembers that
Someone, Anyone, Everybody and Anybody mean one at a
time, and that they must take a singular pronoun. (The group
of "pronouns" walk off the stage.)
CUSTOMER: That was a good assortment of pronouns. I'll take
them all and use them easily now. (A BOY carrying a sign
which reads "Done" comes staggering onto the stage. He totters
about, finally coming to rest against the counter.)
CLERK : Why, what's the matter with you, Done?
DONE: Oh, I've lost my auxiliary, and I can't stand alone. They
ought to know that Fm too weak to stand without my crutch.
Find my crutch for me, please. I'm just a weak verb.
CUSTOMER: Oh, poor fellow! Where is your crutch?
CLERK (Goes to door and comes back with HAVE. He leads HAVE
up to DONE, who immediately leans upon HAVE with great sat-
isfaction) : There you are. Now, Have, don't leave poor Done
THE LANGUAGE SHOP 109
alone any more for you know he can't get along without a
helper.
CUSTOMER : Well, I never will send that poor fellow out without
his auxiliary again. I see now it hurts him.
CLERK : We have many verbs that need auxiliaries. There's Been
and Gone and Seen and Taken. They all need auxiliaries just
as this fellow does. (Pointing at DONE.) People really put a
severe strain on them when they use them without their help-
ers. (DONE and HAVE go out together.)
CLERK : What would you like to see next ? We have a special sale
on used Adjectives. Would you care to see them?
CUSTOMER : No, indeed. I'm so tired of worn-out adjectives that
I never want to hear another. My kid sister has only two ad-
jectives. They are "swell" and "awful." She uses them for
everything whether they suit or not.
CLERK: They're two of the group we're selling out on this sale.
(Reaches in the box of "Slightly Used Adjectives" and takes
out two signs— "Swell" and "Awful")
CUSTOMER : Show me some new ones. I'm sick and tired of those.
Surely you must have some fresher ones in stock.
CLERK (Steps to the door and calls) : Fifi, will you come here a
moment? (Turns to CUSTOMER) She's our model. We can try
out some adjectives on her. (FiFi, a very pretty girl in a party
dress f enters.) Fifi, this gentleman wants to see some fresh
adjectives. Will you stand in front of the mirror so that we
can try some on you? (FiFi smiles and takes her place in front
of the glass.) Now, sir, we'll try a new adjective on her and
you can see if it fits. (Take from a box on the shelf a sign
which reads, "Attractive" He ties the sign on FIFI. She turns
to give the CUSTOMER a look. He looks thoughtful but shakes
his head.)
CUSTOMER : It fits her. But I believe there's a better one for her.
(CLERK unties the sign and puts it back on the counter. Takes
out another sign which reads, "Adorable." He ties it on FIFI
who twirls around, doing a couple of dance steps. CUSTOMER
again shakes his head.)
CUSTOMER : It seems to fit, too, but it's not the right one.
CLERK : Yes, sir, you're right. Most people use any old adjective
without giving a thought to its real appropriateness. But (He
hunts through several boxes while he talks.) there's always
110 THE LANGUAGE SHOP
one that seems made for the occasion. (He pulls out a sign
which reads"Vivacious." He ties it on FIFI who smiles, nods,
and curtsies to the CUSTOMER. The CUSTOMER looks thought-
fully at her, tilts his head to one side and slowly nods with sat-
isfaction.)
CUSTOMER : Yes, that's the very one for Fifi. She is a vivacious
girl (FiFi smiles happily.)
FIFI : It certainly is a pleasure to find someone who knows what
word describes me. If you could see some of the adjectives
they hang on me! (Gathers up the discarded adjectives and
goes- toward the door.)
CUSTOMER: Goodbye, Fifi. Better luck with your accessories!
You see, many people don't realize how important they are.
FIFI: But you do! 'Bye. (She goes out.)
CLERK: Would you like to try any more adjectives? I think you
understand their use.
CUSTOMER : No, I think I'd better look at some Adverbs.
CLERK: Yes, indeed.
CUSTOMER : I find that I have trouble sometimes in deciding when
to use an adverb and when to use an adjective.
CLERK : That is a very common difficulty. Shall we try a few to
see how they work?
CUSTOMER : Yes, that is a really good idea.
CLERK : You used really as an adverb in that sentence modif ying
the adjective, good. It's a real pleasure to hear adverbs prop-
erly used.
CUSTOMER : And you used real as an adjective modifying the noun
pleasure. I think I see now.
CLERK : You have the idea for the use of those two. Would you
care to see any other Adverbs ?
CUSTOMER : No, I believe not. How is it that the supply of words
is so abundant?
CLERK : The supply will be abundant as long as people have ideas
and want to express them.
CUSTOMER: But where do all these words come from? Aren't
many of them imported?
CLERK: Many were imported, but they have become part of our
language now. Would you like to meet some of the stockhold-
ers of this shop?
CUSTOMER: Yes, I certainly would.
THE LANGUAGE SHOP 111
CLERK : They are coming here to hold a meeting and elect a new
stockholder. Here comes Mr. Roman Citizen.
MR. ROMAN CITIZEN (Entering) : Good morning, my boy.
CLERK: Good morning, sir. Mr. Citizen, this is a customer. He
wants to know where we get our stock of words. Will you tell
him?
ROM. CIT. : My friend, / gave you a great many of them. The
Latin word for bread is "panis," which doesn't seem at all like
your word.
CUSTOMER : Bread — panis. I don't see the connection.
ROM. CIT. : Well, let me show you how many of your words, grew
out of that association. Bread was originally stored in the
"pantry." Your word "companion" means, literally, someone
with whom we share our bread.
CUSTOMER: Why, that is true! What other words came from the
Latin?
ROM. CIT. : Your word "digit" means a finger. The Roman trad-
ers kept their accounts on their fingers. They held up one
"digit" or two "digits" to indicate their bids on goods. You can
see how in time, a "digit" came to mean one. Likewise, our
word "dexterity" or skill with the fingers, came from the Latin
word "dexter," which means pertaining to the right hand. The
people who were right-handed were clever with their fingers.
So it goes ! All through your language you will find Latin.
MR. GREEK CITIZEN (Entering in time to hear the last remark) :
While you're on the subject, don't forget what your language
owes to mine. Greek is the very foundation of the Latin. But
you Romans always were proud and vain.
MR. FRENCH CITIZEN (Entering as the last speech was made) :
My language has given you the words "chauffeur," "curfew,"
"guerrilla" and many more.
SOLDIER (Entering and looking around in some uncertainty) : Say,
buddy, is this the Language Shop? (They all crowd around the
SOLDIER.)
GREEK CITIZEN : It is a good thing you have come. We need the
new words you have brought Open your pack and let's see
what you have.
SOLDIER : Well, I left in a hurry. I just dropped my army banjo,
boarded a plane and, after a Chinese landing, was brought here
in a wheelbarrow. It isn't every guy that has such a homing
device.
112 THE LANGUAGE SHOP
LATIN CITIZEN (Frowning in concentration) : "Army banjo,"
"Chinese landing," "wheelbarrow/' "homing device"? What do
these mean?
SOLDIER : Pardon, pal. That's Army language. "Army banjo" is
a shovel, "Chinese landing" means one wing low, a "wheel-
barrow" is a general's car, while a "homing device" is a fur-
lough.
GREEK CITIZEN: Are these your contributions to our language,
sir ? Have you brought only such nonsense to enrich it ?
SOLDIER: I can't say as to that It just happens to be Army slang.
It may get into the language and it may not. But you can't say
that words like "jeep" and "commando" and "ack-ack" aren't
real additions to our speech.
CUSTOMER (Who has been listening with great interest) : What a
wonderful language ! It takes new words from any source be-
cause words are the medium for ideas. Just as our country is
the melting pot for all races, so our language is the melting pot
for all languages.
THE END
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
by Masie Hall
Characters
BAILIFF
JUDGE
VERNON J. VERB
BILLY SCOTT
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY
DEFENSE ATTORNEY
MRS. GOOD ENGLISH
MRS. NOUN
ADDIE ADJECTIVE
ADAM ADVERB
SETTING: Courtroom. Judge's desk on a raised platform at the
center rear of the stage. The defendant and his attorney sit at
a table at the left. Witnesses sit at the right. A table for the
court reporter is just in front of the judge's desk. The witness
stand is at the immediate right of the judge's desk.
BAILIFF : All stand. The Judge is about to enter. (All stand until
the JUDGE enters and takes his seat.) This court is now in
session.
JUDGE: What is the first case on the docket?
BAILIFF: Vernon J. Verb versus Billy Scott, your honor.
JUDGE : Bring in the accused. (BAILIFF goes to the side of the stage
and brings BILLY before the JUDGE.)
JUDGE : Billy Scott, you are accused of using a singular verb with
a plural subject. Do you plead guilty or not guilty to this charge ?
BILLY : Not guilty, your honor.
JUDGE: Are you represented by counsel?
BILLY: Yes, your honor.
113
114 THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I am the attorney for the accused, Your
Honor. (Returns to seat.)
JUDGE (Speaks to the jury, which is the entire audience) : We
are here to decide the innocence or guilt of this man. It is your
duty to listen to the testimony which will be offered and to make
your decision with strict impartiality. Let no personal feeling,
either for or against him, enter into a calm deliberation on all
the facts in the case. Is there any one of you who has any pre-
vious knowledge of this case? Or is there anyone who feels he
cannot render an impartial verdict? If so, let him stand and
declare himself at once. (No one stands.) You may proceed with
the case, Mr. Attorney.
PROS. ATT. : Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are to consider
the facts in the case of Vernon J. Verb against Billy Scott who,
as you have heard, is accused of using a singular verb with a
plural subject. I shall attempt to prove that this man committed
the unpardonable crime of saying, "We was going to the park."
This, you will see at once, is a crime of such nature that it is
the duty of all right-thinking citizens to stamp it out. Think of
the confusion which might follow such a practice ! Verbs, my
dear ladies and gentlemen, are the most important members of
the entire Good English family. Yet, here we have a man who
is so careless, so ignorant, or so lawless, that he fails to use
verbs which agree with their subjects. Is this behavior worthy
of our great heritage, as English-speaking people? This is a
crime against Washington, against Patrick Henry, against our
early history! (Waves his arms. Grows excited.) Why, our
very country is based upon a decent respect for the rights of
others !
DEF. ATT. (Rising) : I object, Your Honor. All this has nothing
to do with the case.
JUDGE (To PROSECUTING ATTORNEY) : What are you trying to
prove by this line of argument?
PROS. ATT. : Your Honor, I am proving that this man failed to
allow others the right to hear correct English spoken.
JUDGE: Objection over-ruled. (ACCUSED'S LAWYER sits.)
PROS. ATT. : If this man, and others who might be encouraged by
his example, should be allowed to go unchecked you would soon
find the very streets of our fair city filled with broken verbs,
fractured pronouns and murdered phrases ! Are we to permit
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT 115
such a thing to happen? No, it must not be !
DBF. ATT. : I object, Your Honor.
JUDGE : Objection sustained. Proceed with the case, Mr. Attorney.
PROS. ATT. : I shall call as the state's first witness, Mrs. Good
English.
BAILIFF (To MRS. GOOD ENGLISH) : Do you promise to tell the
truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you
Webster?
MRS. G. E. : I do. (Mounts witness stand.)
PROS. ATT. : Mrs. Good English, this child was adopted by you at
a very early age, wasn't he?
MRS. G. E. : Oh, yes. He was not more than a year old when I
took him.
PROS. ATT.: You tried to give him good training?
MRS. G. E. : Yes, sir. I set him a good example at all times. I tried
to show him correct usage.
PROS. ATT. : How did he repay your kindness?
MRS. G. E. (Beginning to cry) : He was so careless. I gave him
four kinds of sentences, eight parts of speech and thousands of
words to use ! But he had no regard for my feelings. He tossed
his verbs about, left sentences unfinished and was not careful to
make his pronouns agree with their antecedents.
PROS. ATT. (Soothingly) : Then you think he is capable of com-
mitting the crime of which he is accused?
MRS. G. E. : Yes. I'm sure he is.
PROS. ATT. : Mrs. Good English, think carefully and tell me if you
heard him do any violence to this fellow, Verb.
MRS. G. E. (Doubtfully) : I — I don't know. Well, yes, I think
I did.
PROS. ATT. : Tell us the circumstances.
MRS. G. E. : It might have been last week when he came in from
school.
JUDGE (Interrupting) : Madam, you are here to tell what you
know ; not what might have been.
MRS. G. E. (Looking somewhat frightened) : I don't know.
PROS. ATT. : Thank you. That will be all, Mrs. English. (She
leaves the stand.) Call the second witness, please.
BAILIFF: Vernon J. Verb. (He goes to stand.) Do you swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help
you Dan Webster?
116 THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
»
VERB : I do. (He wears a bandage and limps.)
PROS. ATT. : Mr. Verb, will you tell this court how you received
these painful injuries?
VERB : That will not take long. I received them at the hands of that
man. (Points to BILLY.)
PROS. ATT. : Had you quarrelled ?
VERB : No. I had not provoked him in any way. He has always
abused me. He never considered my tenses, nor my voice. He
never cared whether I agreed with the subject. He threw me
around, and this is the result. (Touches his bandaged head.)
PROS. ATT. : That is all, Mr. Verb. (He withdraws.)
DEF. ATT. (Rising and crossing to stand) : I should like to cross-
examine the witness.
JUDGE: Proceed.
DEF. ATT. : Mr. Verb, you say that you did not provoke this at-
tack. Now think carefully and tell me if you and the accused ever
had a disagreement.
VERB : Well, I did object to his careless treatment and I suppose
I let him know it.
DEF. ATT. : You have many moods, haven't you?
VERB: Yes.
DEF. ATT.: You also change your tense, do you not?
VERB : Yes, I do.
DEF. ATT.: Sometimes you demand a helper, called an auxiliary,
do you not?
VERB: Yes, I certainly do.
DEF. ATT. (Threateningly) : Yet you claim that you have done
nothing to provoke a reasonable man to anger?
VERB (Hesitantly) : Y-y-es.
DEF. ATT. : I will name something for you which would arouse any
man's anger. The principal parts of: is. You demand that they
be: isf was, have been. Is there any reason in that, sir?
VERB: N-no.
DEF. ATT. (Pressing it further) : Sometimes you are active ;
sometimes passive. Sometimes you take an object; sometimes
you don't. Isn't this uncertain conduct enough to cause anger in
any man who tried to learn your ways?
VERB (Shrinking back in his chair) : I s-s-suppose so.
PROS. ATT. (Coming forward) : Your honor, I object. This man
is not strong. lie is -scarcely able to be here. He should not be
subjected to such treatment.
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT 117
JUDGE: Objection over-ruled. (To ACCUSED'S LAWYER.) Proceed.
DBF. ATT. (Turning to audience) : Ladies and gentlemen of the
jury — this man has admitted that he is unreliable, changeable
and thoroughly irritating.
PROS. ATT. (Vigorously) : I object. Mr. Verb is not on trial.
JUDGE : Objection sustained.
DEF. ATT. : Defense rests. (Returns to his desk.)
PROS. ATT. : Bailiff, summon Mrs. Noun.
BAILIFF: Mrs. Noun. (She goes to the stand.) Do you swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help
you Webster always?
MRS. NOUN : Why, of course, don't I always?
JUDGE : Answer the question asked.
MRS. N.: I do.
PROS. ATT. : My dear young lady. I want you to tell me how long
you have known the accused.
MRS. N. : For years and years. We're old friends.
PROS. ATT.: How has he treated you?
MRS. N. : He has always been very courteous.
PROS. ATT.: You have never been distressed in any way?
MRS. N. : No, not at all.
PROS. ATT.: He never called you names?
MRS. N. : No. You see, I do that myself. I name everything.
PROS. ATT.: That will do. (Retires.)
DEF. ATT. (Coming forward) : 1 would like to ask the witness a
few questions. Mrs. Noun, you have always found Mr. Scott
courteous and agreeable, have you?
MRS. N. : Yes, I have.
DEF. ATT.: He is generally regarded so?
MRS. N. : The only name I have for him is "Gentleman."
DEF. ATT. : That will be all.
MRS. NOUN (Turns brightly to the JUDGE) : The children are so
fond of him. (Turns toward the witness* bench and calls loudly.)
Preposition, come here and bring Conjunction and Interjection
with you. (Three small girls enter, holding hands. PREPOSITION
drags a toy wagon which is her "object." They gather around
the JUDGE'S desk.) Tell the nice judge about the time Billy Scott
found all of you in that paragraph where you were lost
JUDGE (Reproachfully) : Mrs. Noun, this court does not recognize
the testimony of children.
118 THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
MRS. N. (In great surprise) : But, Judge, these are unusual chil-
dren!
DEF. ATT. : Thank you, Mrs. Noun. These are charming children
and I am sure the jury understands their affection for my client.
We will let them return to their places now. (MRS. NOUN and
children leave.)
PROS. ATT. : If we may resume the case, I should like to call the
next witness, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Proceed.
PROS. ATT. : Please summon Addie Adjective, Bailiff.
BAILIFF (Calling) : Addie Adjective. (She goes to stand.)
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth — so help you Webster?
ADJ. : I do,
PROS. ATT. : Miss Adjective, do you know the accused?
Miss ADJ. : Yes, I know him.
PROS. ATT. : Do you regard him as a man who respects the feelings
of others?
ADJ. : Well, no. For instance I offer him a great variety of words
to use, but he ignores them and uses just one. He says every-
thing is "swell." "That's a swell pie," "We had a swell game."
"He's a swell guy" and "I saw a swell ship.11 He doesn't do me
justice, you see!
PROS. ATT. : That is a good point. Now, have you ever observed
his treatment of Mr. Verb ?
ADJ. : I'm afraid not
PROS. ATT. : Has he ever mentioned him to you?
ADJ. : Yes, he said he hated those darned old conjugations.
PROS. ATT. : Thank you, Miss Adjective. I am sure the jury
understands the attitude of the accused when he used those
terms. That will be all. (Miss ADJECTIVE returns to witness
bench.)
DEF. ATT. (Rising) : I object, Your Honor. Such testimony is
mere hearsay and is not relevant to the case.
JUDGE : Objection over-ruled.
PROS. ATT. : Please summon Adam Adverb.
BAILIFF (Catting him) : Adam Adverb. (He comes forward.) Do
you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, so help you Webster?
ADV.: I do. (Mounts witness stand.)
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT 119
PROS. ATT.: Do you know the accused, Mr. Adverb?
ADV. : Yes, quite well.
PROS. ATT. : How has he treated you?
ADV. : With neglect, generally.
PROS. ATT. : Have you observed him with Mr. Verb?
ADV. : Yes, indeed. He was quite violent. He threw his principal
parts all around. And he often failed to use an auxiliary for Mr.
Verb though you know there are times when he must have one.
PROS. ATT. : Give me an example of that treatment.
ADV. (After a short pause) : He'd say, "I been to the store" or
"He done his lessons in school."
PROS. ATT. : Thank you, Mr. Adverb. That will be all. (Retiring.)
DBF. ATT. (Coming forward to witness stand) ; I should like to
cross-examine the witness.
JUDGE: Proceed.
DBF. ATT. : Mr. Adverb, please tell this court what relation you
are to Mr. Verb.
ADV. : I'm his half-brother.
DBF. ATT. : I see. Now, Mr. Adverb, tell the court who supports
you?
ADV. : Why, Mr. Verb does. I've always depended on him.
DEF. ATT.: You are, then, very much influenced by what Mr.
Verb thinks? You usually agree with him and do just as he
says, don't you?
ADV. : Well, yes, I suppose so. He is so much stronger than I am.
DBF. ATT. : All that you said about my client was just what you'd
heard Mr. Verb say, wasn't it?
ADV. : Well, yes, that is — I think so.
PROS. ATT. (Rising, excitedly) : I object, Your Honor. Testimony
which has been given should not be altered.
JUDGE (Rebuking him) : Mr. Attorney, it is our task to establish
the truth. If erroneous testimony has been given, it should be
pointed out. Proceed with the cross examination.
DEF. ATT. : Haven't your own feelings for my client been very
friendly?
ADV. (Twisting his hands) : Yes, only I don't know him very welL
DEF. ATT. : That will be all.
PROS. ATT. (Turns to audience) : Ladies and gentlemen of the
jury, I ask you to think of the testimony you have heard. Think
of the violence which has been done to a valued member of the
120 THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
Good English family. Think of the suffering Mr. Verb has un-
dergone in his principal parts, and his auxiliaries. All this has
been caused by the outrageous carelessness of that man who is
on trial. Thinking of all these things, I feel sure you will feel it
your duty to bring in a verdict of "guilty." This I ask you to
do, for the sake of the Good English family in whom we take
such pride ! You are fair and just. I urge you to make a just
decision. Thank you. (Sits down.)
JUDGE: Have you anything to say, Mr. Attorney for the Ac-
cused?
DBF. ATT. (Rising and facing audience) : Ladies and gentlemen of
the jury, you have heard Mr. Verb admit that he is unreliable,
changeable and not to be depended upon ; while my client, Mr.
Scott, is a reasonable man. You have heard the testimony of
Mrs. Noun and have seen her three darling little daughters.
They would not be allowed to associate with anyone who uses
bad English. Think of your own difficulties with this Verb. Do
your verbs always agree with their subjects? And what of
your tenses? Do you always use the proper auxiliary with
your past participles? No, ladies and gentlemen, I tell you no
one can learn all the peculiarities of this fellow, Verb ! For the
sake of humanity, I ask you to find my client, Billy Scott, not
guilty!
JUDGE : Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you are now charged
with the duty of sifting the testimony which you have heard, to
determine its truth or falsity. This you must do fairly, impar-
tially and honestly. This is a court of law in which no man
should be condemned unfairly, and no evil-doer should be al-
lowed to escape punishment. The jury will now render its deci-
sion. I declare this court in recess. (Raps with gavel.)
BAILIFF : (Steps to the front of the stage. To a member of the au-
dience.) Will you act as foreman of the jury?
FOREMAN (To audience) : All those who believe Billy Scott in-
nocent, stand. (Counts them.) Be seated, please. All who be-
lieve him guilty, stand. (Counts them.) Thank you. You may
sit down, now. (Turning to face the JUDGE.) We are ready,
Your Honor.
ENDING — IP FOUND GUILTY
JUDGE : What is the verdict ?
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT 121
DAN: Your Honor, we find the accused, Billy Scott, guilty as
charged.
JUDGE : Billy Scott, stand and hear your sentence. (BILLY is led
by the BAILIFF before the JUDGE'S bench.) This court finds you
guilty of the crime of using a singular verb with a plural noun.
I sentence you to one year at hard work in Junior High School.
(BiLLY hangs his head.) Court dismissed !
CURTAIN
ENDING — IF FOUND INNOCENT
JUDGE: What is the verdict?
DAN : Your Honor, we find the accused innocent
JUDGE : Billy Scott, stand to hear the decision of this court. (BILLY
stands before the JUDGE.) In the opinion of this court, you are
innocent of the crime of which you are accused. It is my duty
to send you forth, a free man. You are at liberty to return to
your normal life. I declare this court dismissed. (BILLY'S lawyer
and witnesses crowd around him, shaking hands and patting him
on the back.)
CURTAIN
CHILDREN OF THE CALENDAR
by Carol Hartley
Characters
FATHER TIME
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
MARCH
APRIL
MAY
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
SETTING : FATHER TIME'S workshop.
TIME: Any time, any day.
AT RISE: JANUARY is sitting at end of table near fireplace.
FEBRUARY sits- on stool at left front, pouting, chin in hand. Rest
of children are grouped about the table. FATHER TIME places:
scythe against rear wall and goes about table inspecting the
children's work.
FATHER TIME: How are you getting along with the calendar,
children?
AUGUST: Just fine, Father Time. Is this all right? (Holds up
picture she is working on.)
FATHER TIME: Very nice, August. That is just the right shade
of blue for a summer sky, and that old swimming hole looks as
though one could jump right into it.
MAY: Isn't this apple orchard just beautiful, Father Time?
FATHER TIME (Going over to MAY) : Yes, May, it is, and your
122
CHILDREN OF THE CALENDAR 123
letters and figures are nice and even. They improve every year.
JULY: Look at my picture. (Holds it up) Doesn't it look like a
Fourth of July celebration ?
JANUARY: If you put in any more flags you'll have to put them
on the back. (Everyone laughs.)
JUNE (Busily cutting paper) : I love to make the new calendar.
See my nice green hills and fields. (Holds up picture.)
OCTOBER: I like mine better. Look at the color of those maple
leaves, and aren't those the nicest pumpkins you ever saw?
SEPTEMBER: I'd like to see any of you make anything better than
this apple. (Takes a big bite of his apple.)
JANUARY : How about giving us some apples ?
SEPTEMBER: Sure, here they are. (Gets basket of apples from
rear and passes them to children.) I have lots of them.
NOVEMBER: I think my month is the best. Thanksgiving with
turkey, cranberries and all the trimmings. Do I love turkey!
(Rubs his stomach.)
MARCH : I believe people are happiest in the spring. The snow
melts, the streams begin to flow again, the pussy-willows come
out, the first flowers poke up their heads. Just wait till I get
this finished.
DECEMBER: How about me? Do you think you could get along
without me? Remember, I have Christmas.
MAY: I think we'll keep you, December. Everybody loves
Christmas.
FATHER TIME : I love this time of making the calendar best of
all, for then all my children are here with me. I always feel sad
when the first month, January, is torn off the calendar. February
goes next . . .
SEPTEMBER: How about February? Hi, Feb., old boy. Better get
busy. You don't want to be the last to finish.
FEBRUARY (Grumpily) : There's no hurry. My month is so short,
it won't take long.
JANUARY (Jumps up and rushes over to door and opens it wide) :
Whew!! My snow and icicles are melting! I feel all weak.
Guess I was too close to the fireplace.
DECEMBER (Shouting with laughter) : Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Looks like a
January thaw! (Children all laugh. JANUARY smiles weakly
and fans himself with his hat. Work is resumed.)
124 CHILDREN OF THE CALENDAR
OCTOBER: Aren't calendars funny? Why aren't the months all
the same length?
NOVEMBER : They can't be. There are 365 days in the year, and
if you divide it by twelve it doesn't come out even, so the calen-
dar makers tried to give every other month an extra day.
OCTOBER : Why does leap year only come once in four years ? Why
doesn't it come every year?
JANUARY : I can tell you. The solar year is 365 J4 days Ipng be-
cause it takes the sun that long to go around in its orbit. The
calendar has just 365 days even, because we can't have an extra
quarter of a day in it.
MARCH: Wouldn't that be funny? To have an extra quarter of
a day, and then have to start a new day? That wouldn't do at all.
APRIL : That would be awful. The clocks would be all wrong, the
days and nights would get all mixed up.
JANUARY : No, it wouldn't work at all. Pretty soon the solar year
and the calendar year wouldn't be together, so something had to
be done about that odd quarter of a day.
APRIL: What did they do about it?
SEPTEMBER: That's an easy one. Since we have an extra quarter
of a day every year, we let them go for four years. That makes
a whole day, so we add that day to February and call it leap
year.
FEBRUARY (Suddenly shouts) : It isn't fair! I don't like it!
FATHER TIME (Goes over to FEBRUARY, places his hand on the
boy's shoulder) : What's wrong, my boy? What isn't fair?
FEBRUARY : I am the shortest of all the months. I'm just a runt,
and I hate being a runt! (FEBRUARY is almost in tears.)
JULY : Don't feel badly, February. Size doesn't count.
FEBRUARY : That's all right for you to say. It's all your fault I'm
so short!
JULY: Why, February, what did I do?
FEBRUARY : It wasn't you exactly. It was Julius Caesar. When
he was Emperor of Rome he wanted July to be a long month
because it was his birth month and he wanted to honor himself ;
so he borrowed a day from February. That gave July 31 days
and left me with 29.
AUGUST: 29? But February, you only have 28 days now, except
in leap year. What happened to the other one?
FEBRUARY: That's your fault, August. Well, not yours exactly,
CHILDREN OF THE CALENDAR 125
but Caesar Augustus'. He was a great-nephew of Julius Caesar
so he became Emperor, too. He called August his lucky month
because the best things happened to him in that month. He
wanted August to have 31 days, the same as July, so he bor-
rowed one of my days. And now look at me I I'm the very
shortest of all the months, and I can't even catch up in Leap.
Year! It just isn't fair!
APRIL: But, February, you have so many wonderful days. You
are the only one who has the extra day for leap year, and you
have ground-hog day . . .
FEBRUARY: Who cares about that?
APRIL: The ground-hog does. If he doesn't see his shadow he
knows that spring has come, and everyone is glad when spring
comes.
SEPTEMBER : And if he does see his shadow he can go back and
snooze for another six weeks. Wouldn't that be wonderful to
sleep six weeks? (Yawns and stretches.)
MARCH : Leave it to September. How he does love his lazy days !
(Everyone laughs.)
FEBRUARY : I don't think that's funny. I'm still short.
DECEMBER : You have St. Valentine's Day, when people send val-
entines and sweet little notes to one another.
FEBRUARY : Aw, that's nothing. Just a lot of love stuff.
JUNE : The birds are supposed to choose their mates on that day.
Doesn't that mean anything?
FEBRUARY (Grudgingly) : I suppose so, a little.
MAY : And February, you have Abraham Lincoln's birthday, and
George Washington's, too.
AUGUST : I don't have a single holiday in my month. I would love
to have such great people born in August.
NOVEMBER : Yes, February, Lincoln and Washington, two of the
greatest men in the world born in your month, and you squawk
about it. And there were other great men born in February, too :
Charles Dickens, Thomas Edison, Henry W. Longfellow,
Victor Hugo and a lot of others. Shall I name some more, Feb. ?
FEBRUARY (Brightening) : No, that does it. I'm kind of ashamed
of myself for making so much fuss. I guess you're right. Those
are pretty fine days. Why, sure! They're the very best!
JUNE: You know you could go to live in one of the countries
where they still use the old calendar as it was before Caesar
changed it
126 CHILDREN OF THE CALENDAR
FEBRUARY (Jumping up) : No, sir! I like America, 111 stay here!
FATHER TIME (Smiles and pats FEBRUARY on the shoulder) :
That's the spirit, my boy. Be proud of your country and of the
job you have to do.
FEBRUARY : I'm sorry I was so cross, Father Time. I never will
be again. I'll be just as proud of February as I can be. It has
everything, even if it is the shortest month of the year. Out of
my way, everybody! Let me at that table! I'm going to make
my part of this calendar the finest month you ever saw. Oh*
Boy! What I'm going to do ! (Goes to work with vim.)
THE END
MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
by Anna Lenington Heath
Characters
DICK MURCHISON, worried young editor
NANCY MURCHISON, Dick's sister
BOB MOORE, cousin living with the Murchisons
BABE MOORE, Bob's sister
HENRY V. HENRY, vacuum cleaner salesman
SUE DAMON
SETTING: The living room of the Murchison home.
AT RISE : DICK is seated at desk. He writes furiously for moment,
thinks a while, then writes again. He is disgusted with what he
has written, wads it up and tosses it into air, muttering. He
tramps about in distraction, clutching at hair. BOB enters at
right, holding a catcher's suit. He is tired and dejected. DICK
stares at him a moment in appraisal.
DICK (In mock dramatics) : Ha ! No flags flying: No bands play-
ing. No air of triumph. (Drops into normal speech) I gather
that the Pigtown team, won the game.
BOB (Hurling glove into corner and dropping into chair) : Boy,
oh boy ! Did we take a beating : nineteen to three.
DICK : But the coach, Coxe, said last night that you had it in
the bag.
BOB (Bitterly) : Oh, yeah, Coxe said ! Coxe ought to be in jail.
DICK : What did he do ?
BOB : Our pitcher, Lee, blew up in the first half of the third, and
Coxe kept him in there till the second of the sixth. When he
finally pulled him out, the second pitcher, Burt, was so mad and
rattled that he went clear out of control. Everybody hit him,
even little Petie Hull, who never hit anything before. Nineteen
to three they beat us. The Pigtowns, who hadn't won a game this
season. Coxe ought to be in jail with the key thrown away. (Bos
127
128 MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
sprawls in disgust. DICK stares at him a moment, then paces
about beating his right fist into his left palm, muttering.)
DICK: Rejection. Discouragement. Despair.
BOB (Testily) : No. Incompetence. Pig-headedness. Stupidity.
DICK (Repeating as he walks) : Incompetence. Pig-headedness.
Stupidity. (Nearly collides with NANCY who enters at left)
Oomph !
NANCY (In sarcasm) : Stupidity, sure. (DiCK continues to stare.)
Remember me? Your sister, Nancy?"
DICK (Turning away in offended dignity) : Don't be silly. You
should know —
NANCY (Laying bundle of mail on table and pulling off hat) :
I certainly should know, living here as I do. You are the editor
of the school paper, The Campus Limited. It is all ready to go
to press except your own special article, The Thought For The
Week. You are foaming around trying to think of something to
write about. We go through this every week.
DICK (Scathingly) : If I seem to be making heavy weather of it,
just toss off some fruity subjects yourself, Nancy. Let's hear a
couple of them.
NANCY : There's fuming. Fretting. Tearing your hair and —
BOB : Irony. Sisterly gibes and —
DICK: You two are a pain in the neck. I'm trying seriously to
make my weekly article a helpful thing and you clack around
with a lot of flighty levitations —
NANCY : No, no, Dicky. Levity is the word. (DiCK ignores her and
returns to desk and types.)
BOB: Sorry, Dick. Forget it, please. (To NANCY) What's in the
mail, Nan?
NANCY (Going through bundle) : The magazines. Letter for moth-
er. Your star map. (Hands BOB magazine) Overdue from li-
brary and a lot of ads for Dad. (Bos looks at star map. NANCY
lays rest of mail on table. Takes one ad from envelope which she
drops on table. Reads ad.)
DICK : How many c's in recommend?
BOB: Better say praise.
NANCY (In excitement) : Dick ! Bob ! Listen. This thing I thought
an ad is a report from the Termite Riddance Company on an
inspection they made of this house. It's awful (Reads) "Floor
joists under living room heavily infested. Ceiling joists of same
MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS 129
area eaten away. Foundation of bow-window weakened." Why,
that's right here. Over us and under us.
BOB : I knew there were some ants around but I never heard of
any inspection. When was it done?
NANCY : While we were at camp, I suppose. This is dated yester-
day.
BOB : Better call your father as soon as he gets to his office and
ask him what to do. (DiCK begins to type furiously. NANCY runs
to him, dropping the report among papers on his desk.)
NANCY : Dick, oh, Dick, don't —
DICK: I've got to finish this article before the house falls down
around our ears. It's important. Move away and don't bother.
NANCY : But Dick, the way you type ! It'll set up a vibration like —
well, you know —
BOB: The measured cadence of marching feet. Been known to
cause bridges to fall.
DICK : I tell you this article has to be —
NANCY : Then break it up, Dick, Just hunt and peck without any
swing to it.
DICK (Outraged) : Hunt and peck! Me!
NANCY (Pleads) : Not so violent ! Can't you use a pencil?
DICK : No ! (Makes several starts at writing. Tears paper from
machine and flings it to floor) You've made me forget what I
was going to write. (Rises and brushes papers from desk to floor.
Sound of thumps off left) What's that?
BOB : That's Babe jumping rope. I'll stop her. (He goes out. DICK
starts tramping about. NANCY stops him. BOB returns with
BABE who has a jump rope.)
BOB: You will have to be very quiet, Babe. The whole place is
shot with termites and likely to collapse any minute. Better get
into that chair and sit light. (BABE climbs into rocker and squats
uncertainly on heels.)
BABE: Is it safe to telephone?
DICK (After a questioning look at NANCY and BOB) : Well, if it is
important.
BABE : Chuck Lacey and Sue Damon are coming over to practice
the trumpet duet they are to give Friday night.
DICK: Trumpets! Oh, my Sunday hat! The walls of Jericho fell
down from trumpets. What Chuck and Sue'd do —
130 MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
NANCY : Stop yelling and quietly phone them about our difficulty
and they wiU —
BOB : Just a minute, Dick. Chuck's father is head of the real estate
firm that's trying to sell this place. We'd better keep quiet about
the ants till your father sees that report
NANCY: Good head, Bob. We'll have to think of something else.
DICK : Tell 'em we've got bubonic plague.
BABE (In derision) : That's not so good, either. Sue's Dad is
health officer, and let him hear about any kind of disease and
he'd be here asking questions right now.
BOB: Plague's out, then. Any other suggestions?
NANCY: They are coming right after Chuck's gym class, aren't
they, Babe? (BABE nods.) It's too kte to stop them, then. We'll
just have to keep them from playing. Talk fast about other
things.
DICK (Glumly) : What other things?
NANCY : You talk about your article. Wave your arms and stamp-
On, no. Don't stamp and don't yell. Just wave and whisper
dramatically. And you, Bob, talk about the game and the coach.
BOB : What I'd say about the game and coach would probably
make the floor drop out from under us. Isn't there some less
painful subject?
NANCY : This whole thing is painful. You just talk and talk and
talk and don't let Chuck and Sue play a note. If worse comes to
worst I can always feed them.
BOB (Fervently) : You have something there, Nancy.
DICK (Peevishly) : Sit down in the chair, Babe, and stop teetering
as if you were about to jump.
BABE (Fearfully) : Won't I be heavier that way?
BOB (Interrupting) : No, kid, you'll weigh just the same in any
position, and sitting, you will look less like a demented frog.
BABE (Stubbornly) : I'd weigh less in water.
DICK (In heavy sarcasm) : We could bring in a tub and let her
sit in it
BOB (Shortly) : Stop it, Dick. Sit down, Babe. (She slips to sit-
ting position) Now let's consider — (Phone rings sharply. No
one moves. Phone rings again. NANCY tiptoes to answer it.)
NANCY (At phone, whispers) : Hello. (Repeats word twice, loud-
er each time) Yes. Yes, 111 call him. (To BOB) For you, Bob.
BOB (At phone) : Hello. Oh, yes, Bill. (Pause) Absolutely not.
MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS 131
(Pause) We have the house full of relatives and must be very
quiet. (Pause) Yes, a very large family. Sorry. Good-bye. (Re-
places phone) Bill and his brother wanting to show us a new
tumbling act they're learning.
NANCY : That's the last thing we want to see. (Sound of steps off
right) Oh, oh, here are Chuck and Sue. (Loud knock at door
at right.)
DICK : Come on in. Don't knock the door down. (Knock is repeat-
ed. DICK opens door. HENRY breezes in, dragging vacuum
cleaner.)
HENRY : Good-day, ladies and gentlemen. I am Henry V. Henry,
introducing the Little Giant vacuum cleaner, manufactured by
Atlas, Atlas and Atlas, of Atlas, Mo. I have an appointment with
a Mrs. Murchison of this address, to demonstrate the Little
Giant. Will one of you kindly tell the lady I am here?
NANCY : Mother was called away suddenly. She must l.ave forgot-
ten the appointment. I will remind her when she returns, and
I am sure she will arrange for some other time.
HENRY : No time like the present. I am here. The Little Giant is
here. You are here. We will demonstrate, (Moves machine and
sets it down heavily.)
DICK (Nervously) : Don't bang that thing down so hard.
HENRY (Loftily) : This machine is of the sturdiest construction
throughout. Slight jars will not harm it in the least.
BOB : Slight jars have precipitated avalanches before now.
HENRY : True, true, my dear young man, but that interesting nat-
ural phenomenon has no bearing whatever on the matter at hand.
DICK : That's what you think, laddie.
HENRY (To NANCY) : These young men are pleased to be flip-
pant, madam, but I am sure you would like to see this remark-
able machine in operation. Is there an outlet handy where I can
plug it in? It will draw matter up through this rug in a manner
never seen before.
BOB : That's what we are afraid of.
HENRY : I do not understand, sir. You —
NANCY (Interrupting) : Please, we do not wish to have you dem-
onstrate. The Little Giant is all you claim for it, I'm sure, and
more, but we do not want a demonstration.
DICK : We do not want a demonstration.
132 MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
BOB : We do not.
BABE : Do not.
HENRY : I find your conduct strange —
BOB: We are a strange family. Too many ants and not enough
uncles. (HENRY backs toward door at right f carrying cleaner.)
HENRY : Very well, but I must say that never before have I been
so —
NANCY: Goodbye. I will have Mother call you. (HENRY exits,
slamming door.)
DICK: Whew! Another slam or two like that and we'll need a
steam shovel to excavate us.
BOB (To BABE) : Sit down, kid. (She sits. Voices outside right)
Here come Chuck and Sue.
NANCY: Remember, all of you. Talk, talk, talk. (Opens door.) Hi,
Chuck and Sue. Come in. ( CHUCK and SUE enter, carrying
trumpets.)
CHUCK AND SUE : Hi, everybody.
DICK, BOB AND BABE: Hi.
CHUCK : What's the good word?
DICK (Beginning loudly, then remembering to whisper) : There
isn't any. I've got the Campus Limited all ready for press except
my special Thought For The Week, and can't for the life of me
think of a topic to write about. Bob and Nancy think up silly
ones but they're no good. No good at all. I say, they are no good
at —
SUE : What's wrong with him, Chuck ?
BOB : Think nothing of him, Sue. Dick gets into dithers like that
every week over his articles. (To CHUCK) Did you see the
game, Chuck?
DHUCK: I'll say I did. You guys sure took a walloping from a
team that hadn't won a game before this season. You need a new
pitcher. (NANCY tiptoes out at left.)
JOB : What we need is a new coach. Coxe ought to be in jail. He
kept Lee in there pitching long after he'd run out of everything.
Yeah, we need a new coach. That's what we need — (NANCY
returns with plate of doughnuts.)
SUE: Oh, forget Coxe and that game. We came to practice our
trumpet duet You'll play accompaniment for us, won't you,
Nancy?
MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS 133
NANCY: Have some doughnuts first. (SUE takes one. CHUCK takes
two. They eat. BABE wiggles to squatting position again.)
DICK (In hoarse whisper) : I've got to get this article written and
I haven't a single idea. I just can't —
CHUCK: Why the raucous whisper, Dick? Laryngitis or did you
lose your voice cheering for Bob's team?
BOB : Coxe ought to be in jail. I say, Coxe ought to be —
CHUCK : And I say if we are going to practice we'd better be at it.
Sue's gotta —
NANCY: Another doughnut, Chuck? (He takes another.)
SUE (In annoyance to BABE) : I wish you'd sit down, Babe. You
make me nervous and you can't be comfortable, jiggling there
like that. (BABE pretends not to hear.)
DICK (Walking about on tiptoe and with long steps) : I can't get
a single idea and time is running out-out-out-out-
SUE : His needle's stuck.
CHUCK : That last doughnut wasn't as good as the others.
BABE (Dryly) : The sixth seldom is. (Bos and DICK speak
together.)
BOB : Coxe ought to be in jail.
DICK : Time is running out.
SUE (Clutching CHUCK'S arm in alarm) : I don't like this, Chuck.
Dick whispering and raving like a horror film. Bob hounding
Coxe to jail, Nancy mincing around on eggs, and Babe wobbling
there like a Billikin. I don't like it. It's crazy. They've all got
something. Come away before we get it. ( CHUCK takes another
doughnut. SUE snatches it from him and throws it back on plate)
They're fried in crankcase oil. They'll poison you. Come on.
(SuE drags CHUCK out at right, taking his trumpet and leaving
hers. Slams door.)
NANCY (After all have stood an instant expecting the roof to
fall) : Well they're gone. And we'll be lucky if Sue doesn't send
in an officer and an alienist. She's some worked up and — (SuE
bursts in, grabs her trumpet and starts out.)
DICK (Sharply) : Don't slam that door!
SUE : I will slam the door if I want to ! (Exits with violent slam.)
BABE (After another wait during which nothing happens) : Now
they're gone, for sure.
BOB: Unless Chuck comes back after another doughnut. Your
father must be in his office now, Dick.
134 MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
DICK : Yes, I'll call and ask him what we'd better do. (To NANCY)
Where is that report, Nancy?
NANCY (Taking envelope from table) : Here. No, this isn't it. It's
only the envelope. (Looks about on table. Feels in pocket) I
read it and Dick yelled and —
BOB : You ran over to his desk to stop him. Probably dropped it
there. (All hunt through papers on desk and floor. BOB looks at
one he picks up a moment. Holds it out to NANCY.) Is this it?
NANCY (Giving it a quick glance) : Yes, that's it.
BOB : Well, we can all relax. This isn't a report from the termite
company of their investigation of the premises here. It's just
an ad.
NANCY, DICK a i BABE: Ad!
BOB: Yes. Hen on the first page is what Nancy read, and below
it says, "Don't delay till damage as suggested above is done. Call
the Termite Riddance Company at the first sign of the insects.
Save your home." Then the address. You didn't get all the facts,
Nancy.
NANCY (Dropping into chair, gasps) : All that nervous strain for
nothing.
BOB: We've made a reputation for«general loopiness, at least.
BABE: Can I let down my whole weight now?
BOB (Helping her from chair) : You can. You can even jump rope
right here if you like. (BABE rubs her cramped legs. Makes a
few light skips. Satisfied that it is safe she whirls through door
at left and is heard jumping heavily outside.)
DICK (Sagely): There is no great upheaval without some
progress.
BOB: Yeah?
DICK : Yeah. I have the topic for my article. Will you escort your
cousin out that I may write undisturbed?
BOB: With pleasure. (Offers NANCY his arm. They exit grandly
at left.)
DICK (Whipping paper into typewriter and chuckling happily) :
Get All The Facts! Boy oh boy, will I go to town with this!
(Types swiftly as curtain falls.)
THE END
MIDNIGHT BURIAL
by Kay Hill
Characters
SUZIE
BETTY
CHUBBY
NONA
SAIXY
ROSIE
FIRST LEADER
SECOND LEADER
SETTING : Woods at night.
AT RISE : Empty stage. Enter from left, SUZIE and CHUBBY, car-
rying a large square parcel wrapped in brown paper. BETTY,
looking behind her as she follows, bumps into the two ahead and
makes them drop the parcel.
SUZIE : There now ! See what you've done ! Can't you look where
you're going, Betty?
BETTY: Sh-h! Do you want the whole camp down on us to see
what we're doing in the woods after lights-out? I'm almost
sure I heard something a minute ago.
SUZIE : Nonsense ! You're imagining it. Well, Chubby, this is as
good a spot as any to hide the body.
CHUBBY : Don't talk about bodies! Just think, if we'd eatea that
cake, we'd have been the dead bodies !
SUZIE : Do you think they'd have buried us out here in the woods ?
I'd like that — the pine trees whispering at night, and sprinkling
us with needles on a hot day.
BETTY : Will you stop, Suzie ! You're giving me the creeps. How
on earth, Chubby, did your mother happen to get poison in the
cake, anyway?
135
136 MIDNIGHT BURIAL
CHUBBY: It was a terrible mistake. My mother made the cake
yesterday and sent it to the post office right away. This morn-
ing, she discovered the vanilla bottle she'd used was an old one
my little brother Freddy had filled up with rat poison. She got
me on the telephone this afternoon just after the box arrived.
She was nearly out of her mind until she found I hadn't opened
the box yet.
BETTY : And it looks so good. Just think — one bite of that lus-
cious-looking cake and (Dramatically) we'd be writhing in
death agony!
SUZIE : Well, let's get it over with. We can't light a fire out here
in the woods. We'll have to bury it.
BETTY: What'll we dig a hole with?
SUZIE (Aghast) : What a bunch of dopes we are ! We need a
shovel !
BETTY : I know where there's a hoe.
CHUBBY: Where?
BETTY: Over in Farmer Green's field. I saw it lying there this
afternoon.
SUZIE: Come on, then, let's get it. Leave the box here. ( SUZIE,
CHUBBY and BETTY rush off right. A minute later, three more
GIRLS enter left, walking on tiptoe.)
NONA : I'm sure they went this way. Come on, we must be close
on their track. (Sees box) What's this?
ROSIE : They were carrying something when they sneaked out of
Chubby's tent. This must be it.
SALLY: What do you suppose is in it?
NONA: Only one way to find out. (Tears off wrapping and lifts
lid oj box) It's a cake!
SALLY : A beautiful cake. Chocolate with pink peppermint icing
— I can smell the peppermint.
NONA: So that's why they came out here, the greedy things, so
they wouldn't have to share it.
ROSIE: But why did they leave it here?
SALLY: Probably heard us coming and got scared. Well, I don't
know about you two, but / think finders are keepers. (Breaks
a piece off and raises it to her mouth. NONA slaps it out of her
hand.)
NONA: Greedy pig! Wait till I divide it — share and share alike.
MIDNIGHT BURIAL 137
I'll have to break it. Here's your piece, Sally. And one for you,
Rosie.
ROSIE (As she raises the cake to take a bite, her mouth already
open) : I'm thirsty. I wish we had something to drink with it.
SALLY: There's a brook down the hill back there. Let's fill the
box — it's tin.
ROSIE: Let's. (They jump up and run through bushes, centre.
SALLY comes back, stealthily, and grabs her piece of cake. Just
as her teeth bite in, NONA pops back and says sternly — "Sally!"
SALLY drops the cake guiltily and follows NONA off again. SUZIE,
CHUBBY, and BETTY reappear at right, with hoe.)
SUZIE : It doesn't feel very sharp. But we can try. Here's a soft
spot. (They dig, or pretend to, quickly.) There! Where's the
box?
CHUBBY: Look! The cake is out of the box and all broken up.
BETTY : I knew we were being followed.
SUZIE : Don't be silly ! Chipmunks, of course !
BETTY: Chipmunks?
SUZIE : Or squirrels. They're inquisitive little beggars, just love
to get into things. Wonder where their dead bodies are, poor
things.
CHUBBY : But the box is gone, too ! Don't you try to tell me, Suzie
Blake, that any old chipmunk ever walked off with the tin box !
SUZIE (Patiently) : But of course, Chubby — that's just what
squirrels and chipmunks love, anything bright and odd. The
little imps have hidden it somewhere.
BETTY : I don't like it ! I'm sure I heard the bushes crackle when
we came down the path.
SUZIE: Well, Betty, if nothing else will satisfy you, we'll take a
look around. I'll go back the way we came. You and Chubby
go that way. (Pointing to right side of stage) Meet here in five
minutes. (They go off in their separate directions. NONA,
ROSIE and SALLY return from centre, carrying water. They sit
down around the cake. SALLY sits on edge of hoe, which makes
the handle fly up in the air. SALLY yells and sprawls on the
ground, rubbing the spot that hurts, while the other two jump
up in dismay, staring at the hoe.)
NONA : Where did it come from?
ROSIE: And look at that hole. That wasn't there before!
SALLY : I'm s-scared. Let's go back.
138 MIDNIGHT BURIAL
NONA: We might as well. We can take the cake with us. (Off-
stage, left, Suzi£'s voice "Come on, Chubby. I told Betty there
was no one'9)
NONA: Quiet! It's Suzie. Hide the cake!
ROSIE: I'll sit in front of it. (She does. Enter SUZIE and
CHUBBY//*/*, BETTY right. They stop short.)
SUZIE : What are you doing here?
CHUBBY (Suddenly and loudly) : The cake! Where's the cake?
NONA : Ha ! You thought you'd eat it all yourselves. Well, you're
too late! We've eaten it all up!
SUZIE, CHUBBY and BETTY (In chorus) : Wha — a-t !
SUZIE : You ate it? You ate it all!
SALLY : Certainly. It's a lesson to you not to be so stingy here-
after!
CHUBBY (Starting to sob) : Murderers, that's what we are — mur-
derers —
SUZIE: How do you feel, Nona?
NONA : I'm fine — how are you ?
SUZIE: Do you feel any pain, Sally?
SALLY: Not a twinge. Cake agrees with me, especially in the
woods at midnight.
SUZIE: What about you, Rosie?
ROSIE: I'm all right.
CHUBBY: This is a nightmare — a horrible dream! We'll go to
jail.
SUZIE : Now, Chubby, keep cool. All may not be lost. If we can
get them to a doctor in time. . . maybe he has an antidote, or a
stomach pump. Now you two take Rosie and Sally. I'll take
care of Nona. Here, Nona, put your arm across my shoulder.
NONA: What nonsense is this?
ROSIE : I won't get up. (Resists CHUBBY'S efforts to move her, but
CHUBBY hauls her up 'with strength of desperation) All right,
there's your old cake. But I'm going to have one piece anyway !
(Snatches it.)
SUZIE: Stop! Don't eat that! It's full of rat poison — (After a
shocked moment of stillness, ROSIE hurls the cake as far as pos-
sible away from her, SALLY goes limp in BETTY'S arms, and
NONA says in whisper — • "Rat poison!")
SUZIE: We'll bury it right now, before anything else happens.
Come on, everybody help. (In a moment, everyone is frantic-
MIDNIGHT BURIAL 139
ally picking up pieces of cake and smoothing earth over the
grave. BETTY suddenly starts up and listens.)
SETTY : Sh-h ! I hear something. Voices. It must be the Leaders.
SUZIE: Let's get out of here — but fast! (They run off left.
CHUBBY returns for a moment to give the grave a last satisfied
pat, then runs off again after the others. Enter, right, two older
girls (LEADERS) and stroll across stage, talking as they walk
off left.)
IST LEADER: It's late. They'll all be asleep by now.
2ND LEADER : Oh, yes. The fresh air, you know. They can hardly
keep their eyes open after nine o'clock. I've got a treat for them
tomorrow — a special dessert.
IST LEADER: Oh? What is it?
2ND LEADER : A beautiful big chocolate cake with pink peppermint
icing!
THE END
THE LITTLE CIRCUS DONKEY
by Helen Littler Howard
Characters
THE LITTLE CIRCUS DONKEY
Two DRUMMERS
A Music MAKER
A SQUIRREL
THE LITTLE CLOWN
A BIG CLOWN
A PIPER
A RABBIT
A BEAR
(Before the curtain opens there is a circus parade across the
apron of the stage. THE BIG CLOWN turning hand springs and
cutting capers leads the procession. He is followed by the two
DRUMMERS beating their drums, the PIPER tooting on his pipe,
and the Music MAKER playing a lively tune. Last of all come
the LITTLE CLOWN and his DONKEY. The DONKEY lags behind
while his master turns a somersault across the stage. When the
LITTLE DONKEY sees that his master is not watching he turns
around and hurries back the way he came. The rest of the par-
ade moves on across the stage and off. The curtain opens.)
SETTING : In a wood.
DONKEY (Coming slowly in from stage left) : At last I am free.
I do not like to work. I want to play all day as the animals in
the woods do.
SQUIRREL (Coming from behind tree stage center) : Hello, little
donkey. What are you doing alone in the woods ?
DONKEY:
I am running away;
T don't like work;
I want to play.
SQUIRREL: Did you work hard in the circus?
140
THE UTTLE CIRCUS DONKEY 141
DONKEY : Oh yes. I worked very hard. Twice a day I had to trot
around the ring with my master, the Little Clown.
SQUIRREL: Was it so far around the ring, little Donkey?
DONKEY : Oh, no. It took only a few minutes to trot around the
ring.
SQUIRREL : Was your master so heavy to carry then ?
DONKEY: Oh, no. He was quite light. But I don't like to work
at all, so I am running away. I am going to live here in the
woods with the rest of the animals who do nothing but play
all day.
SQUIRREL : But all of us work, little Donkey 1
DONKEY: Work! What do you do?
SQUIRREL : I gather nuts for the winter. All day I search for nuts
and bury them in a safe place. There is no food in the woods
in winter.
DONKEY: No food in winter? I thought I could eat the grass for
food.
SQUIRREL : But the grass will all be covered with snow in winter.
Will you gather nuts for your winter's food?
DONKEY: I do not like nuts. I do not want to work gathering
food for winter. In the circus my little master brought me as
much hay and oats as I could eat.
SQUIRREL : You had better go back to the circus, friend donkey.
Goodbye. I must get to work. (Exit.)
DONKEY: Goodbye, squirrel.
RABBIT (Hops in from stage right) : Hello, little Donkey. Why
are you in the woods ?
DONKEY :
I am running away ;
I don't like work;
I want to play.
RABBIT : Did you work hard in the circus ?
DONKEY : Oh, yes. I had to march in a parade every day.
RABBIT: Did you have to run very fast that it was such hard
work?
DONKEY: No. I could trot or walk, just as I pleased.
RABBIT: Then why did you leave?
DONKEY: I thought I would like to live in the woods with the
other animals who do nothing all day but play about.
RABBIT : But all of the animals in the woods work, little Donkey.
142 THE LITTLE CIRCUS DONKEY
DONKEY: Do they? What do you do?
RABBIT: I am digging a cozy hole under the ground to live in this
winter. Will you dig a hole to live in?
DONKEY : Oh no. That would be much too hard work. I shall lie
under the trees.
RABBIT: But in the winter the trees have no leaves and can not
shelter you.
DONKEY : When I lived in the circus my master, the Little Clown,
always put me in a big tent to shelter me.
RABBIT : You had better go back to the circus tent, little Donkey.
Goodbye. I must get to work. (Exit.)
DONKEY: Goodbye, Rabbit.
BEAR (Waddling in) : Hello, little Donkey. Why are you in the
woods?
DONKEY:
I am running away;
I don't like work ;
I want to play.
BEAR : Did you work hard in the circus ?
DONKEY : I thought I did. So I decided to come to the woods to
live with the other animals who do nothing but play.
BEAR : But all of the animals work.
DONKEY: What do you do?
BEAR: I am growing thick fur so that I shall keep warm when
winter comes. Will you grow a thick coat to keep out the cold ?
DONKEY: Oh, dear me! I do not know how to grow a thick coat.
When I lived in the circus my master, the Little Clown, always
covered me with a warm blanket when the cold came.
BEAR: You had better go back to the circus, little Donkey.
DONKEY : Yes, I think I had better. I do not like nuts for food ;
I do not want to dig a hole in the ground for shelter ; and I do
not know how to grow a thick coat for clothing. I think I shall
go back to my master.
BEAR: Goodbye. (Exit.)
DONKEY : Goodbye. But I do not know where to find my master.
I do not know where the circus tent is.
LITTLE CLOWN (Entering stage left) : At last I have found you,
dear little Donkey. I was sure you were lost in the woods, and
how could you ever live here when winter comes? I shall take
you back to the warm tent and give you your dinner.
THE LITTLE CIRCUS DONKEY 143
DONKEY (Rubbing his head against his master's shoulder) :
To the circus away !
I want to work,
And be happy and gay!
LITTLE CLOWN : Come, little Donkey. We will be just in time for
the parade. (They go off together. Curtain closes. Circus par-
ade passes in front of curtain as before, but this time the little
DONKEY leads the parade. He trots gaily and bows to the au-
dience as he leaves the stage. The others clap delightedly when
the DONKEY bows.)
THE END
HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS
by Eleanora Bowling Kane
Characters
AUNT POLLY
BILL
MARY ANN
VIZIER
HINDU
LEONARDO
ALI
ANTONIO
ROBERTO
SETTING: Aunt Polly Webb's living room.
AT RISE : AUNT POLLY is seated at a table upon which are many
books. BILL and MARY ANN are bending over her. AUNT
POLLY hands paper to MARY ANN.
AUNT POLLY : Well, that seems to be all right, Mary Ann, not a
mistake.
MARY ANN (Sighing) : It's a wonder! Those old Roman num-
bers are a mess. They're awfully hard! I'm glad I don't have
to use them every day. (Puts paper in book.)
AUNT POLLY : Which numbers would you rather use, Bill, Roman
or Arabic?
BILL (Laughing) : Are you kidding me, Aunt Polly?
AUNT POLLY: No, I'm really curious. What's your objection to
Roman numbers?
BILL : Aw, they're so — so cumbersome, Aunt Polly. It doesn't take
a history book to tell me that Rome was a great nation. Any
people that did its figuring with Roman numerals had to be
smart! (MARY ANN and AUNT POLLY laugh.)
MARY ANN: I certainly am glad the Arabians invented these
other numbers.
144
HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS 145
AUNT POLLY : Ah, but they didn't — that is — not entirely.
BILL : But we call them Arabic numbers.
AUNT POLLY: I know, but we really should call them Hindu —
Arabic.
MARY ANN: You mean the Arabs got their numbers from the
Hindus?
AUNT POLLY : To a great extent, Mary Ann — and the Hindus
borrowed some of their ideas from the Chinese, the Persians,
the Egyptians and the early Babylonians.
BILLY: Wow! Our numbers really do have a history I
MARY ANN: How did the Arabians happen to get the numbers
from the Hindus?
AUNT POLLY (Seriously) : Do you really want to know, children?
MARY ANN: Of course, Aunt Polly.
BILL: Sure thing.
AUNT POLLY : Well, settle down then, because it's a long story.
You might as well be comfortable. (MARY ANN sdnks into an
easy chair. BILL plops down on a footstool.)
BILL: All right now, Aunt Polly. How did the Arabians get their
numbers from the Hindus?
AUNT POLLY : Well, of course, there had always been a great deal
of commerce carried on between India and Arabia, and you
know how trade spreads ideas and knowledge from one country
to another.
MARY ANN: Sure, we learned that in school.
AUNT POLLY: Well, historians think that knowledge of the Hindu
numerals was carried to Arabia by traders who used these
numbers in their business. But there was one single event that
officially introduced the Hindu numbers into the Arabian court
of the Caliph Al-Mansur. One day in the year 772 a Hindu
arrived at the court of Bagdad and was received by the Grand
Vizier. (There is the sound of an Oriental gong. Enter the
GRAND VIZIER and the HINDU SCHOLAR. HINDU carries a scroll.
The spot is played on them and they present their scene on one
side of the stage.)
VIZIER: You have the look of a Hindu and a scholar. May I ask
your business with the Caliph Al-Mansur, the All-Wise, the
gracious lord of Bagdad?
HINDU (Proudly) : I do not solicit an interview. The Caliph has
sent for me.
146 HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS
VIZIER : Then he will see you shortly. At present, he is closeted
with the court astronomers His daughter is shortly to wed and
they must decide the most auspicious day and hour for the
ceremony.
HINDU: So he is with the astronomers? It is astronomy that
causes my presence here. I bring astronomical tables which
stand in high authority among my people, having been derived
from the great Brahmagupta. It is the Caliph's wish that they
may be translated into Arabic.
VIZIER: So, you are one of those! The Caliph has drawn to this
court the most famous scientists of the East — men versed in
science and astronomy. The great manuscripts of the Greeks
are being translated by us into Arabic. All of this knowledge
becomes the property of Arabians. What, O, Hindu, have you
to add to our vast fund of scientific knowledge? (The Oriental
gong sounds again. The spot returns to AUNT POLLY and the
children. Exit VIZIER and HINDU.)
BILL : And what did he have, Auntie — just a lot of stuff about
star-gazing?
AUNT POLLY (Solemnly) : That Hindu astronomer, Bill, is cred-
ited with having introduced — officially — Hindu numerals,
with the zero, into Arabia. When he translated his tables he
had to use the Hindu numbers.
BILL: Why? If he were translating from Hindu to Arabic why
didn't he translate from Hindu numbers, to Arabic numbers!
AUNT POLLY: For the simple reason, Billy, that the Arabs didn't
have numbers!
MARY ANN: Didn't have numbers? My goodness, Aunt Polly,
what did they use before they adopted the Hindu system?
AUNT POLLY: Words, Mary Ann. They wrote out their numbers
in words. Of course, they could abbreviate to simplify them
somewhat. But it was a very unsatisfactory system.
BILL: They must have been glad to get a good system like the
Hindu numbers.
AUNT POLLY: They were ; they revised it somewhat, and changed
the forms of some of the numerals, but the system is still main-
ly the Hindu system.
BILL: How did we get the Hindu-Arabic numbers, Auntie? Did
the early settlers bring them?
AUNT POLLY: Yes, they had learned the Hindu-Arabic system in
Europe,
HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS 147
MARY ANN: Then how did the numbers go from Arabia to
Europe, Aunt Polly?
AUNT POLLY (Laughing) : My goodness, Mary Ann. Now you
really have asked me a question. No one is certain just exactly
how they did get there. There are several possibilities. You
ought to be able to figure out one, Bill, from the history you
studied in the fifth grade.
BILL: Oh, gee, I know! Trade! The people of Europe wanted
the spices and other rich products of the East. I remember that.
AUNT POLLY: Trade is probably the best explanation. We can
easily see how traders could introduce the new number system
into Europe.
BILL: Sure. When European merchants bought products from
the Eastern traders they just had to learn something about their
way of counting.
AUNT POLLY : We feel sure that some knowledge of the Hindu-
Arabic numbers must have been carried into Europe by traders.
But there are some historians who claim that an Italian, called
Leonardo of Pisa, deserves the credit for acquainting his fel-
low-countrymen with the knowledge of the East. Leonardo's
father was a commercial agent in Northern Africa, representing
the interests of a firm of merchants in Pisa. His son, Leonardo,
was educated in the city of Bougia in Africa, and there Leon-
ardo learned the arithmetic knowledge of the Arabians. (Orien-
tal gong sounds again. Spot shifts to side to LEONARDO and ALL
LEONARDO is studying a scroll.)
LEONARDO: But this is a wonderful thing you have shown me,
Ali. To think — with only nine symbols and this wonderful
other symbol, this dot — you can express any numbers you want.
ALI (Gravely) : It is this wonderful "other symbol" as you call
it, my son, that gives the system its power.
LEONARDO: What do you call it, Ali?
ALI: The Hindus call it the "void" or "heaven-space." We ex-
press it by a dot. With this, and the numbers one through nine,
we can express any number we wish.
LEONARDO (Enthusiastically) : My father has insisted that I learn
much about arithmetic, Ali, so that I can help him with his
business. I have learned to use the abacus. I have mastered the
clumsy Roman system of counting. I have traveled through
Egypt and Syria and Greece. I have collected all of the knowl-
148 HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS
edge I could find concerning arithmetic. But here, in the cus-
tody of the Arabians, I have found the queen of all counting
systems — the Hindu-Arabic numbers. I shall not rest, Ali,
until I have carried this knowledge to my people. (Gong sounds
— spot returns to AUNT POLLY and the children. Exeunt
LEONARDO and ALI.)
BILL : Did he, Aunt Polly ? Did he take the numbers back to Italy ?
AUNT POLLY: Leonardo was so deeply impressed, Billy, that he
wrote a book about the Hindu- Arabic system when he went back
to Pisa. His book showed very plainly how superior the Arabic
system was to the Roman system. Many people claim that this
book was responsible for introducing the Hindu-Arabic num-
bers into Europe. Other historians claim that a monk named
Gerbert, who afterwards became Pope Sylvester the Second,
should receive the credit. He studied at the Great Moorish uni-
versities in Spain and later brought knowledge of the Hindu-
Arabic numbers to Europe. Gerbert, however, apparently didn't
know anything about that tenth symbol which the Hindus called
"the void" or "heaven-space."
BILL: Do you mean the zero, Aunt Polly?
AUNT POLLY: That's right, Bill. We owe the name zero to
Leonardo of Pisa. In this book he referred to it as zephirum —
and from that we got the term zero.
MARY ANN: When did the people of Europe start to use the
Hindu-Arabic numbers, Aunt Polly?
AUNT POLLY: Well, Mary Ann, that's hard to say definitely. But
I can tell you this. The first manuscript in Europe to use Arabic
numerals comes from the year 976. But as late as the year 1500,
arithmetics were still explaining the system very carefully.
MARY ANN (Slowly) : Let's see now. That means that even in
Columbus's time people were using Roman numerals more than
Arabic.
AUNT POLLY: Even in Queen Elizabeth's time Roman numbers
were used frequently. It took several centuries for the Hindu-
Arabic numerals to gain ground. In the meantime, the two
systems lived side by side with the one gaining slowly.
BILL : Why did it take so long for the Arabic numbers to take the
place of the Roman system?
MARY ANN: Why, Bill, that's easy. People were used to the
Roman system. It's hard to change when you're accustomed to
something.
HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS 149
AUNT POLLY : You're partly right, Mary Ann. For instance, take
us today. Many people feel that our system of weighing and
measuring is not so good as the metric system that the French
use. But we still haven't adopted the metric system. It's difficult
to force the people as a whole to accept new ideas.
BILL : It must have been confusing to have half of a country using
Roman numerals and half using Arabic numbers.
AUNT POLLY : Well, Bill, in some cases authorities even went so
far as to prohibit the use of the Hindu- Arabic system, especially
in Italy. You see, Italy was a great trading nation and her peo-
ple were among the first to realize the value of the new system.
BILL : You say people were forbidden to use Arabic numbers !
AUNT POLLY: Yes, indeed, Bill. For instance, scenes like this
took place (Fading) in the great trading cities of Italy. (Spot
shifts to side to ROBERTO pacing sadly back and forth. ANTONIO
enters and addresses hint.) \
ANTONIO: Good evening, Roberto. Or is it? Judging from your
gloomy expression, I should say something has gone amiss.
ROBERTO : Something has, Antonio. You should have been in the
bank this morning — such confusion — such rage — such an
annoyance —
ANTONIO: A robbery, my friend?
ROBERTO (Groaning): Worse! Haven't you heard, Antonio ? An
edict was issued today forbidding all bankers to use the simple
Arabic numerals. We had to convert everything — all of our
statements — Such stupidity! What pig-headed, doltish, im-
becile ever —
ANTONIO (Interrupting) : Indeed. I understand that somewhat
the same order was issued to the booksellers at Padua. They
have been prohibited to mark their stock in the clear ciphers of
the Hindu- Arabic system, but must mark it in letters.
ROBERTO : Haven't the fools read the book of Leonardo of Pisa ?
Don't they have sense enough to realize what they are doing? I
tell you, Antonio, the authorities can make rules until Florence
ceases to exist, but the Hindu-Arabic numerals will some day
count the commerce of the world! (Spot returns to AUNT POLLY
and the children. Exeunt ANTONIO and ROBERTO.)
BILL : No wonder the numbers took so long to get around !
MARY ANN : All because people hate to change to something new!
AUNT POLLY : That isn't entirely the reason, Mary Ann. You see,
150 HOW WE GOT OUR NUMBERS
most businessmen outside of Italy didn't seem to need the new
figures until about 1550. Most of them used an abacus to do
their figuring, and since numerals were used only to record the
answer, Roman numerals did as well as any. Cheap paper was
not known, and there were no pencils similar to modern ones
until much later. Figures had to be erased after they were used.
MARY ANN: That must have been very inconvenient.
AUNT POLLY: It was, Mary Ann. So the merchant clung to his
counter or abacus. As long as businessmen didn't require the
new figures, the schools didn't teach them.
BILL : Well, look Aunt Polly. Business of today doesn't require
Roman numbers and yet Mary Ann had a homework assignment
on them tonight
AUNT POLLY: Look at your great-grandfather's old clock, Billy.
What kind of figures do you see on it?
BILL (Slowly) : Roman numbers! I've never even noticed them
before.
AUNT POLLY: Look at the chapter headings in this book.
BILL: Roman numbers 1
AUNT POLLY: And on your way home, notice the cornerstone
date of the old church on the corner.
BILL: We use Roman numbers in making outlines too.
MARY ANN: Well, personally, I'm glad those are the only uses
we have for those old Roman numbers. — Suppose we had to
say today's date in them. Let's see — It would be "today is
the in the year MCMXLIX.
BILL: I'd never get beyond the date at the head of my paper.
Yessir, Aunt Polly, I'm glad those Oriental traders carried their
numbers into Europe.
THE END
PIFFLE! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE!
by Ted Kaufman
Characters
THE MIGHTY GERM
JOHNNY
MOTHER
FATHER
TEACHER
JULIA
ARTHUR
PRINCIPAL
DOCTOR
SUN
CHILDREN
MIGHTY GERM (Struts to the center of the stage and pounds his
chest proudly as he faces the audience.) :
I am the mighty Germ
Who makes children infirm!
I am evil and bold —
(Blows) Whooo ! I can give you a cold !
And if I so please,
I can make you sneeze !
I can put you to bed
With a nose that's so red
And a chest that's so rough,
It tickles your throat and makes you cough I
(Pounds chest with his fist.)
Oh, I am the mighty Germ
Who makes children squirm !
By day and by night
I keep mothers in fright,
'Cause I work like a beaver
To give children fever!
I'm the huffer and puffer
151
152 PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE !
Who makes you suffer 1
And I know every trick
To make you sick !
(Bends forward, resting hand on knee
Do you want to see
How nasty I can be ?
Say yes or say no —
You can't stop the show.
Just sit in your places
And lift up your faces,
Then watch closely the way
I act in this play !
(Struts off stage.)
SCENE 1
SETTING : Johnny's home.
TIME: Early morning.
AT RISE: JOHNNY, about eight years old, is aU bundled up ready
for school. The MIGHTY GERM enters and begins to dance
around JOHNNY. Suddenly he stops, takes a feather out of his
pocket, turns impishly toward the audience, then tickles JOHNNY
under the nose with the feather. JOHNNY sneezes. THE GERM
laughs silently, then tickles JOHNNY again. JOHNNY sneezes a
second time. FATHER enters, looks concernedly at JOHNNY, who
sneezes a third time, then turns to MOTHER.
FATHER: Say, what's this? Another cold?
MOTHER: Oh, piffle! It's only a sniffle! (THE MIGHTY GERM
struts up front, throws up his hands and laughs silently, then
retreats to a far corner.)
FATHER: You call this a sniffle? Look at those teary eyes — and
that running nose! (Takes out handkerchief and walks toward
JOHNNY.)
JOHNNY (Trying to avoid the handkerchief) : I'm okay, Dad. I've
been sneezing for days !
PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE ! 153
MOTHER (As FATHER holds up handkerchief and JOHNNY blows
into it) : Oh, let him alone, Michael. He'll throw it off.
FATHER: He'll throw it off, all right On the other children in
school! Mary, don't you realize the danger? Colds are catching!
MOTHER : Of course I realize it, dear. But Johnny isn't that bad,
really. Besides, this is my busy day, and I want some peace.
(She turns to JOHNNY and kisses him, then pushes him gently
toward the door) Off with you, now, and be a good boy.
JOHNNY (Suppressing sneeze) : Yes, Mom. Bye. Bye, Dad.
(Goes off stage left. FATHER, shrugging shoulders, follows
MOTHER off stage right.)
THE MIGHTY GERM (Alone now, walks to center of stage) :
Did you see
How I fooled those three?
The mother said : "Piffle !
It's only a sniffle!"
Little does she know
That the rest of this show
Is really the effect
Of her sad neglect!
(Struts off stage.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Classroom. Three rows of four seats each face right.
TEACHER behind table face left. Behind TEACHER is a black-
board.
AT RISE: CHILDREN are seated. JOHNNY occupies first seat in
row nearest audience. The MIGHTY GERM is seated on floor
next to JOHNNY. MIGHTY GERM gets up on his feet, pulls out
his feather, tickles JOHNNY. JOHNNY sneezes.
154 PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE !
TEACHER : Bless you, John.
JOHNNY (Rises, putts out large red polka dot handkerchief and
brings it up to nose to arrest second sneeze. Talks inside ker-
chief) : Thank you, Miss Brown. (MIGHTY GERM laughs
silently.)
TEACHER (Rises and approaches blackboard) : Now, children, I'm
going to write some problems on the blackboard. I want you to
copy them in your notebooks, together with the correct answers.
(As she talks, MIGHTY GERM tickles girl seated next to JOHNNY
with feather. GIRL sneezes. TEACHER turns around, facing
class) Bless you, Julia.
JULIA: Thank you, Miss (MIGHTY GERM tickles her again and
she sneezes) Brown. (TEACHER turns to blackboard and re-
sumes writing. CHILDREN open their notebooks and begin
copying. MIGHTY GERM goes to BOY sitting next to JULIA.
BOY sneezes. TEACHER turns. She is slightly annoyed.)
TEACHER : Bless you, Arthur. (As ARTHUR rises to thank Miss
BROWN, MIGHTY GERM very rapidly moves from one pupil to
the other, so that as TEACHER says "Bless you" to one, another
begins to sneeze. After about the fifth or sixth child has sneezed,
and as all continue to sneeze in unison, the TEACHER, worried,
returns to her desk) Sit down, all of you. (CHILDREN sit down,
sneezing, each into a different colored handkerchief) There must
be a cold germ lurking somewhere in this room. (MIGHTY
GERM moves about to the as yet unaffected children and causes
them to sneeze, one after the other) Oh, dear, you're all affected
with colds ! (TEACHER walks among the CHILDREN and feels of
their heads to determine if they have fever. As she does so, and
while the CHILDREN sneeze, the MIGHTY GERM struts to center
of stage and triumphantly faces the audience.)
THE MIGHTY GERM :
Hooray! Hip! Hip!
I'm post-nasal drip !
I'm his Highness
The headaching Sinus!
I woo Influenza
With a raspy cadenza,
And I think it's such fun
To make your nose — run!
(He dances back to the sneezing CHILDREN. Then he approaches
PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE ! 155
the TEACHER and tickles her wider nose with feather. She is
about to sneeze when the PRINCIPAL enters.)
PRINCIPAL: What's going on here?
TEACHER: Oh, Mr. Princip, everybody has a ... (Sneezes) a ...
(Suppresses a sneeze) a cold!
PRINCIPAL: Everybody?
TEACHER (Almost in tears) : Everybody . . . ! This is due to
some mother's carelessness.
PRINCIPAL: I'm sure. Miss Brown, dismiss the class. These
children belong in bed!
TEACHER: Yes, Mr. Princip. (Turns to CHILDREN) Come, chil-
dren, everybody file in ... (Sneezes) file in ... (Suppresses
sneeze) line ! (All file in line, single file, sneezing or suppressing
sneezes. As they file out, MIGHTY GERM fottows last and, in
passing, tickles the PRINCIPAL under nose. PRINCIPAL, now
alone, sneezes into tiny white handkerchief, then hastily follows
the rest off stage.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: Principals office.
AT RISE : PRINCIPAL and DOCTOR are seated.
DOCTOR : As a doctor in this neighborhood, Mr. Princip, I am glad
to join your Health Club. We must all get together, doctors,
nurses, teachers and mothers, to maintain the good health of our
community. It is a great responsibility. And I feel we ought to
stress that most of that responsibility falls upon the mothers.
For example, if a child starts the day with a raspy throat, with
teary eyes and a running nose, he should not be sent to school.
A day of rest and careful nursing at home will restore strength
to the child and avoid the danger of infecting other children.
Good health habits, you know, begin at home.
156 PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE !
PRINCIPAL: Yes, Dr. Smith. And I think we might -also tell the
mothers about the benefits which are derived from a balanced
diet and plenty of sunshine. Sunshine, I believe, is the greatest
enemy of the cold germ.
DOCTOR: And of lots of other germs, too, Mr. Princip. We could
all benefit from a more intimate acquaintance with the sun.
(As the DOCTOR speaks, he and MR. PRINCIP rise and walk right
and disappear.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING : Same as Scene 2.
AT RISE : The classroom is empty now but for the MIGHTY GERM.
The MIGHTY GERM looks at the rows of empty seats and laughs.
He runs to the blackboard and begins to write "I am the Mighty
Germ" when the SUN appears. The MIGHTY GERM cowers in a
corner as the SUN walks brightly to the center of the stage and
faces the audience.
SUN:
Hello, everyone
I am the Sun.
Any day you look up,
From breakfast to sup,
You can see me afloat
In my fiery boat.
My rays spread a wealth
Of strength and good health.
To the bees and the birds
And the animal herds,
PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE ! 157
To the earth at your feet,
To the food that you eat,
To all of you here,
I bring life and good cheer !
Now I've heard that a germ,
A mean little worm,
An ornery tick,
Has made children sick.
(At first cowering in fright, the MIGHTY GERM now takes out
the cold-giving feather and sneaks up on the SUN from behind.
As the SUN speaks, the MIGHTY GERM attempts to tickle its
nose. At the word "exist? the SUN becomes conscious of the
feather and snatches it away.)
Such a condition
Is without permission.
The germ must desist
Or cease to exist!
(The SUN snatches feather and wheels around to face the
MIGHTY GERM who is terror-stricken.)
Aha ! So you are the bully
Who's been so unruly !
(The MIGHTY GERM 15 silent. SUN angrily shakes feather at
GERM)
Well, what do you say . . . ?
THE MIGHTY GERM ( Utterly defeated) : Crime does not pay . . .
SUN:
Yes, and this is one time
You will pay for your crime 1
In my boat you will sail
To a hot little jail
Way up in the sky,
Where you'll wither and die !
(Pushes MIGHTY GERM forward off stage)
Hurry now, the moon is almost in sight —
(Turns to audience)
And you, dear friends, before I say goodnight,
Let me speak a word or two
About some things you ought to do.
To make your skin as smooth as silk
158 PIFFLE ! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE !
Drink your daily share of milk.
Balance food at every meal
To make your body strong as steel.
Meat is good, but very lonesome
Without those friends which make it wholesome;
Peas and beets and, yes, potatoes,
Carrots, spinach and tomatoes.
Wash your hands and face and body,
Brush your teeth like everybody.
Balance study, food and rest
So that you may prosper best
Never sneeze in children's faces,
Never play in dirty places.
Make all these habits your daily plans
To become healthy, happy Americans. (Follows GERM off stage.)
THE END
TOMMY'S ADVENTURE
by Eleanore Leuser
Characters
TOMMY, a little boy
ELLIE, a little girl
THE CAT
FIDO, the Dog
THE RED HEN
THE BUTTERFLY
THE BEE
THE SUNFLOWER TWINS
THE WIND
THE SUN
TIME : Early morning of any school day.
SETTING: A farmyard with house showing in background.
AT RISE: TOMMY is digging with a spade in one of the flower
beds. He stoops and is putting something in the hole as ELLIE
enters.
ELLIE (Looking amazed) : What are you doing with that spade,
Tommy?
TOMMY (Jumping) : Hey, Ellie! I didn't see you. If you promise,
cross your heart not to tell, I'll show you.
ELUE (Crossing her heart) : Cross my heart. . . hope to die. If
toads eat me, you'll know why.
TOMMY (Pointing to hole) : Look!
ELLIE (Looking in) : Tommy Masters. . . isn't that your speller?
(Looking again) Isn't that your reader and your arithmetic ?
TOMMY (With satisfaction) : That's right. I'm burying them.
ELLIE (With mouth open) : Why?
TOMMY: Because! I'm not going to any old school. I'm going to
play.
159
160 TOMMY'S ADVENTURE
ELLIE (Shocked) : Tommy, you're not !
TOMMY (Stubbornly) : I am too. I'm sick of working at school
when everyone is playing but me. Do you want to come, too?
ELLIE (Doubtfully) : I. . . don't think I ought to.
TOMMY (Coaxingly) : Oh, come on. Well have heaps of fun.
We'll play all day.
ELLIE (Shaking her head) : No, I'm going to school. You ought
to come too, Tommy.
TOMMY (Decidedly) : I'm not coming. I'm going to have fun.
ELLIE (As she runs off) : You'll be sorry. Anyway I think school
is fun. I'm going to school. (She exits.)
TOMMY (Looking at her glumly) : Girls are silly. Wait till she
hears how much fun I have. She'll be sorry she didn't come.
(A large gray cat walks slowly in.)
TOMMY: Hey, kitty, kitty, don't you want to play with me?
CAT (Standing on hind legs) : No, Tommy, I can't.
TOMMY (In amazement) : Did you speak, Mr. Cat?
CAT (Very slowly) : I certainly did, Tommy. I said I couldn't
play with you.
TOMMY : My goodness, I didn't know cats could talk. Why can't
you play with me, Mr. Cat?
% CAT : Because I'm much too busy.
TOMMY (Astonished) : How can a cat be busy?
CAT (Folding its arms) : Indeed, boy, you insult me. I have mice
to catch. The place will simply be overrun with mice unless I
keep busy.
TOMMY: Oh-h, I see.
CAT (Turning to go) : Good-bye, Tommy. Have fun. (The CAT
walks off slowly and the dog, FIDO, enters.)
TOMMY: Why, there's Fido. He'll play with me. Here, Fido...
Here, Fido. . . Here, Fido. . . good doggie! Let's go play.
FIDO (Coming up to TOMMY and speaking in a deep voice) : Can't !
I'm too busy.
TOMMY (Staring at DOG) : Fido, can you talk too? My goodness,
dogs can't be busy.
FIDO : Oh, yes, they can. I have to watch the house and yard and
see that no thieves get in. That's a very important job. Good-
bye, Tommy, sorry I can't join you. Have fun. (He ambles
off stage.)
TOMMY (Disgustedly) : How can I have fun all by myself? No
TOMMY'S ADVENTURE 161
one will play with me. (A RED HEN enters and comes towards
TOMMY.)
TOMMY: Hello, Red Hen, can you play with me?
RED HEN : Cluck ! Cluck ! I should say not. I have work to do.
TOMMY: Don't tell me that you work, too?
RED HEN : I should say so. Who'd lay your eggs for breakfast
if I didn't?
TOMMY : I forgot about that.
RED HEN : Forget indeed ! I've a good mind not to lay you another
egg. But you'll learn. Cluck! Cluck! Good-bye, Tommy, have
fun. Cluck ! Cluck ! (She clucks her way off stage.)
TOMMY (Sulkily) : How can I have fun with no one to have it
with? Oh, there's a butterfly! It has nothing to do but fly about,
I'm sure. She'll play with me. (He runs after a BUTTERFLY who
appears at the first of his speech and is flitting from flower to
flower.)
TOMMY (Calling): Butterfly! Butterfly! Please stop a moment
and play with me.
BUTTERFLY (Fluttering her wings) : Oh Tommy, you bad boy,
what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?
TOMMY : I thought it would be fun to play. But I can't find any-
one to play with. Everyone has to work*
BUTTERFLY : Of course everyone has to work. That's part of liv-
ing. I work, too.
TOMMY: Oh, no, you're too pretty to work.
BUTTERFLY : But I do. You couldn't do without my work, either.
If I didn't flit from flower to flower and carry pollen, there
wouldn't be half so many green growing things on the earth
today.
TOMMY: I didn't know that. But can't you play with me?-
BUTTERFLY: Play indeed! I can't do that till my work's done.
That's the time to play. (She flits off leaving TOMMY looking
very sad.)
TOMMY: Oh dear! I don't suppose it's much use asking that nice
bee over there. But I'll try. (Calling) Mr. Bee! Mr. Bee!
BEE (Who has just entered and is bussing happily around) : Bzz !
Bzz! Who wants me? I'm too busy to see. Bzz! Bzz!
TOMMY : Oh dear ! He's too busy to see what I want. (Going over
to the BEE) What are you doing, Mr. Bee?
BEE: Didn't you ever read about me? I gather nectar from the
162 TOMMY'S ADVENTURE
flowers and make it into honey.
TOMMY (Ashamed) : I'm sorry, Mr. Bee. All I ever did was to
eat your honey. I never thought of your working to make it.
BEE : Tut, tut, my boy, you'd better get busy and learn something.
Good-bye, now. I must be off to work. Bzz. . .Bzz. . . (The
BEE exits.)
TOMMY : My goodness, I'm glad I didn't ask him to play with me.
(Pause) Well, I guess I'll try those sunflowers. Flowers certain-
ly don't work.. . or do they? (Going over to them) Good
morning, Sunflowers, would one of you come and play with me?
SUNFLOWER TWINS: (Together) : We heard what you said,
Tommy. Of course flowers work.
TOMMY: They do?
SUNFLOWER TWINS : Yes, they do. Just look at us. We're busy
growing our seeds for fall. There wouldn't be any flowers with-
out seeds, you know.
TOMMY : Oh, I never thought of that. I guess you are too busy to
play with me. Oh dear, isn't there anybody at all who can
play? (The WIND enters with a big swirl and a leap and a
bound. He swoops right over to TOMMY.)
WIND: What's the matter, little boy?
TOMMY (Almost crying) : I've asked and asked. Everybody is too
busy to play with me.
WIND: Well, why aren't you busy, too?
TOMMY: I thought it would be more fun to play. But now, I'm not
so sure. I suppose there's no use asking you ?
WIND (Puffing out his cheeks and laughing) : Ha! Ha! Ho! Ho!
That's a g&od joke ! Who would turn the windmills ? Who would
sail the boats? Who would dry your mother's clothes if I stopped
working?
TOMMY (Respectfully) : Do you do all that, sir?
WIND : I certainly do and lots more.
TOMMY: I'm going to ask just one more person to play with me
and if he can't. . .then I'm going home.
WIND (Chuckling) : A good idea, Tommy! A good idea! Why
don't you ask the Sun over there? If anyone could play with
you he could. He's the most powerful of us all. (The SUN en-
ters as the WIND begins to speak.)
TOMMY (Looking at SUN) : The Sun looks so bright and happy.
I should think he plays all day. He'll be the last one I'll ask.
TOMMY'S ADVENTURE 163
Surely he'll say yes. (Calling) Mr. Sun!
SUN (Calling) : Come closer to me, Tommy. I can't hear you.
(TOMMY goes over to the SUN.)
TOMMY : I just asked if you'd play with me, Mr. Sun.
SUN (Kindly) : Tommy, what do you suppose would happen if I
stopped shining?
TOMMY : I guess it would get pretty dark, Mr. Sun.
SUN : Yes, and nothing would grow. It would always be night.
TOMMY: But don't you ever have any fun?
SUN : Of course we do. All of us have fun while we work.
TOMMY (Surprised) : Fun while you work! How can you?
SUN (Laughing) : That's easy. We have fun because we enjoy
what we're doing. Haven't you seen my sunbeams dancing and
playing while we work? (Calling) Come, all you who couldn't
play with Tommy because you worked. Come! (The CAT —
DOG — RED HEN — BEE — SUNFLOWER TWINS — WIND —
BUTTERFLY — all enter and stand on each side of the SUN facing
TOMMY) Tell us. . . don't you have fun while you work?
CAT : I have fun in the chase, sir.
DOG : It makes me feel good to know I am guarding the house.
RED HEN : Did you ever hear me cackle when I lay an egg? That's
to show how good I feel.
BEE': It's fun to flit from flower to flower. I like to make the
golden honey.
SUNFLOWER TWINS: It's fun to be alive and feel the Sun and
Wind and to know we're getting the seeds ready for another
planting.
BUTTERFLY : My wings catch the sunshine and the flowers wel-
come me as I stop for their pollen. I feel happy and gay.
WIND : I laugh as I blow and I sing a song of the Wind as I work.
SUN : There, you see, Tommy : Work can be fun, too. It's all in
the way you do it.
TOMMY : I see, Mr. Sun. I see a lot I didn't see before. I guess
I have to work, too. I'll try liking it. It will be fun learning
about a lot of things I never knew before. Maybe it will be
even as much fun as playing all the time. I'm going right now
to try it. Goodbye, everybody!
ALL: Goodbye, Tommy! We know you'll have fun. (They are
waving good-bye to TOMMY who runs off stage as the curtain
falls.)
THE END
THE CLOCK'S SECRET
•<*.
by Esther MacLellan and Catherine SchroU
Characters
SHIRLEY MADISON
ANNE, her younger sister
JOHN, her brother
MOTHER
SAMMY, a cousin
AUNT MARIAN
SCENE 1
SETTING : Living room in a country home.
AT RISE : SHIRLEY is seated working at table or desk. Enter ANNE
carrying an egg.
ANNE : Look, Shirley. Elspeth has laid another egg.
SHIRLEY (Going towards ANNE) : It's awfully big! What does it
taste like?
ANNE : Duck eggs are very good. Just like a chicken's, only more
to eat. Here. . . (Places egg on table) You can have it for break-
fast tomorrow. After all, I had the first, you know.
SHIRLEY : But Elspeth is your duck. Are you sure you don't mind?
ANNE : Oh, no. (Enter JOHN.)
JOHN: Well, everything is finally settled. (Sits dejectedly) We're
leaving for the city. . .right away.
SHIRLEY : I can't bear to think of it. Just imagine, our first Christ-
mas away from home!
ANNE : Mother says we simply can't afford to live here any longer.
It takes so much coal to heat a big house in the country.
JOHN : I'll hate living in the city, especially with Aunt Marian and
Cousin Sammy. He's nothing but a spoiled baby, always want-
ing his own way.
164
THE CLOCK'S SECRET 165
SHIRLEY: Sammy's bad enough, but worst of all is to leave the
farm at Christmas.
ANNE : I suppose there's nothing we can do about it. If we could
only find where Grandfather hid the money. . . .
JOHN : But we can't. We've been searching for two months now.
We've looked everywhere.
ANNE: I can't understand how he ever took so much money out
of the bank. You'd think he would have been afraid of being
robbed or something.
JOHN : You know what Grandfather was like, impulsive and hot-
tempered. He and the bank president were good friends, but
they had an argument. Then Grandfather got excited the way
he used to, and said the president didn't know anything about
investments and he was taking his money out right away, even
the government bonds.
SHIRLEY : I suppose by the time he reached home, he'd cooled off
and was ashamed to tell Mother what he'd done.
JOHN: Oh, that wasn't the first time he and the bank president
had quarreled. But Grandfather always brought the money back
the next day.
SHIRLEY : Dear Grandfather. He never stayed angry long.
ANNE : And then to think he would be killed in that dreadful ac-
cident the very same night. (Enter MOTHER.)
MOTHER : You children mustn't be so glum. We aren't leaving the
house forever, you know. We'll be back in the spring or even
sooner if Daddy is well by then.
JOHN : Months will seem like years with dear Cousin Sammy.
MOTHER : I'm a little disappointed in you, John. Of course if you
feel so strongly, I could write to your father.
SHIRLEY : Oh no, Mother. Dad would insist on coming home from
the hospital, and he's getting along so well now. We know he
isn't to be worried. It's just that we love the house so much and
we're so happy here and then at Christmas. . . (Starts to cry.)
MOTHER (Puts arm around her) : I know how you feel, dear. It
is hard. But perhaps each of you children could take some littlf
thing along to remind you that we'll soon be coming home again
Would that help?
ANNE: Must it be little, Mother? (Goes to clock.) I hate to leave
our dear old clock alone shut up in the winter's cold. I suppose
it's silly, but I think it would miss us.
166 THE CLOCK'S SECRET
SHIRLEY: Oh yes, Mother. I'd rather take the clock with us than
anything.
MOTHER (Doubtfully) : But it's so very large. . .
JOHN : Aunt Marian will be so gkd to see you arrive with three
kids and a grandfather's clock.
MOTHER: What is the matter with you, John? I don't know what
I'd have done if your aunt hadn't kindly offered to let us stay
with her this winter. You're old enough to understand that
there just isn't enough money now to keep this huge old house
running. Coal bills are the worst and then we're so far from
school and the stores that we have to use the car a lot. That's
an expense too.
SHIRLEY: Don't mind Johnny, Mother. He's thinking of Cousin
Sammy again.
MOTHER : You should try to understand your cousin, John. His
father died when he was a baby, and Sammy was delicate. . .
JOHN (Incredulously) : Delicate? He looks like an ox. (AMi\
And he acts like one too.
MOTHER : Well, he was delicate when he was a baby. Your Aunt
Marian was rich, and there were no other children but Sammy,
so she could never refuse him anything.
ANNE (Slowly) : It's just like the Bible. He was her one ewe
lamb.
MOTHER: That's it exactly,
SHIRLEY : If we could only find the money, then we wouldn't have
to leave the farm. We would be here, in our own home at
Christmas.
MOTHER : We must just forget about it, that's all. Ever since your
grandfather's death, we've been looking. I have no idea where
else to search. The money seems to have vanished completely.
JOHN : You're right, Mother. There's no use complaining. When
do we go to Aunt Marian's?
MOTHER: Tomorrow. It won't take long to pack, and we might
just as well leave at once. There's nothing to be gained from
putting things off.
ANNE : And may we take the dock?
MOTHER : Yes. If it means so much to you, we'll take it.
THE CLOCK'S SECRET 167
GIRLS : Oh thank you, Mother. -
MOTHER : There, there, that's all right. Now run along, all of you,
and get your things ready. We don't have too much time.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : Aunt Marian's living room in the city.
AT RISE: ANNE and JOHN are seated. SHIRLEY is standing at the
window.
SHIRLEY : I hate the city. The days are so gloomy and the streets
are always filled with dirty slush and ice !
ANNE : It's so different from the lovely white snow at the farm.
JOHN: Sledding, ice skating, hikes through the woods! What
good times we had ! And then, best of all, the Christmas holidays !
SHIRLEY : Oh, if we could only be home for Christmas ! I'm so
tired of it here.
ANNE : At least it's peaceful for a while. I wonder where Sammy
is. (Voice offstage. "Shirley! Anne!")
JOHN: Cease wondering. (Enter SAMMY.)
SAMMY : Didn't you hear me ? I was calling you. (Pause) Why
don't you answer? What're you doing?
JOHN : Before you came in, we were enjoying ourselves.
ANNE : Don't start anything, John. You know Mother hates you
to quarrel with Sammy.
SAMMY (Wanders around) : What's this funny old thing, a dock?
ANNE : It isn't funny. It's beautiful.
SHIRLEY: We brought it from home. Don't go poking at it or
you'll break it.
SAMMY : It just looks like a piece of old junk to me. (Inspects the
clock. Enter MOTHER.)
MOTHER: Children, why aren't you getting ready? Didn't Sammy
tell you?
168 THE CLOCK'S SECRET
SHIRLEY: Tell us what?
MOTHER: Aunt Marian is taking us Christmas shopping. It's
been so nasty all week she thought that perhaps dinner at a res-
taurant and then a visit to the stores would be a treat for every-
body.
JOHN (Aside) : The only place I want to go is home.
MOTHER: We're taking both cars, as Aunt Marian has invited
some other guests. Anne dear, you go with her and be company
for Sammy.
JOHN: Lucky Anne!
SAMMY (Excitedly) : Look everybody, the clock opens ! I've
found the secret of the old clock !
JOHN : Some secret ! We've known about that since we were babies.
MOTHER: Come along, children. We mustn't keep Aunt Marian
waiting. (Exit MOTHER, SHIRLEY, JOHN. ANNE starts off.)
SAMMY : Wait a minute, Anne. You're going in our car. Show
me how the dock works.
ANNE (Going to clock) : It's just a little door, Sammy. Then in-
side there's an empty space. I don't know what it was used for
originally. When we were small, we liked to hide in it.
SAMMY : Did you? That must have been fun. How did you get in?
ANNE : You just press this button, and the door opens.
SAMMY: Oh, I see.
ANNE: Then you get in like this. . . (Gets in) Of course, it's a
pretty tight fit for me now. The only trouble is when you shut
the door, you can't open it from the inside.
SAMMY (Shuts the door) : Ha! Ha! The joke's on you, Anne.
Now you're my prisoner.
ANNE: Oh, don't be silly, Sammy. It's frightfully hot and stuffy
in here. Let me out.
SAMMY: No, I won't. You're my prisoner, and I'm going to hold
you for ransom. That's it, I'll be a pirate captain, and. . . (Enter
JOHN.)
JOHN : Your mother wants you right away.
SAMMY : I'm not coming now. I have something else to do first.
JOHN (Grabs him) : Your mother said right away.
SAMMY : Get your hands off me ! Who do you think you are, push-
ing me around?
JOHN: Everybody's ready to go. Think we want to wait around
all night just for you ? Come on ... ( Boys struggle. )
THE CLOCK'S SECRET 169
SAMMY : I'll go when I want. Let me alone. . . .
JOHN : You're going now. (Pushes SAMMY toward door.)
SAMMY: All right You'll be sorry. (Boys exit.)
ANNE : Let me out ! Let me out ! (Her voice gets fainter.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING : Same as Scene 2.
AT RISE : Voices are heard off stage calling "Anne! Anne!" Enter
MOTHER and SHIRLEY.
MOTHER: Anne! Anne! Where are you? (Sits) Oh, Shirley, I'm
so worried. Where can she be?
SHIRLEY : Anne's so prompt and thoughtful. Something must have
happened.
MOTHER : When your aunt drove up without her, I was so fright-
ened. (Walks around) Anne! Where are you? (Enter AUNT
MARIAN, SAMMY, JOHN.)
AUNT (Going to MOTHER) : Now, dear, you musn't worry. She
must be somewhere in the house. Perhaps she took a nap, and
then fell asleep
JOHN : I can't imagine Anne suddenly wanting a nap, but I'll run
up to her bedroom and look. (Exit JOHN.)
AUNT : Naturally, when Anne didn't come, I thought she had de-
cided to go in your car.
SHIRLEY: Mother, do you suppose we should call the police?
SAMMY: Oh no, no, don't do that!
AUNT: Now, don't let this worry you, Sammy dear. You're just
too sensitive. (To others) He's such a thoughtful boy.
MOTHER: Suppose we all separate. You try the attic, Shirley. I'll
go down to the cellar. And you, Marian, you. . . (All exit, except
170 THE CLOCK'S SECRET
SAMMY. He looks around, and then opens tke door of the clock.
ANNE falls out with money clutched in her hand.)
SAMMY: Oh, Anne! What's the matter? Are you dead? If you
are, I've killed you ! Anne, Anne, say you are all right ! (Enter
JOHN.)
JOHN : Anne ! (Kneels) She's fainted. Go get some water, Sammy.
(Exit SAMMY.) Gee, where did all this money come from?
Anne, Anne! (Calls) Mother! Anne's here! (Enter everybody.
SAMMY with water.)
MOTHER (Kneels) : Anne, darling, what happened?
ANNE (Opens her eyes) : Mother, I've found grandfather's
money. Look, here it is !
JOHN: But where? How?
MOTHER: Never mind about that now. Where were you, Anne?
We have all been so worried.
SAMMY (Ashamed) : I shut her in the clock.
MOTHER: What?
AUNT: Oh, Sammy, how could you?
SAMMY : Aw, it was just a joke. I didn't mean to hurt her.
MOTHER: You knew we were all going out, and yet you left Anne
alone shut up in the dock.
SAMMY: I didn't mean to leave her. But then John came in and
started pushing me around and then. . .well, I got mad.
ANNE : Don't scold Sammy, Mother. I really don't think he meant
any harm. He just got excited.
SAMMY: I'm sorry, Anne. Really I am.
SHIRLEY: But the money, Anne. Where did you find it?
ANNE : It was in the clock, after all.
JOHN : But we looked there the very first thing
ANNE (Goes to clock) : But see, it was hidden back here, in a
really secret hiding place.
SHIRLEY: How did you find it, hidden in there in the dark?
ANNE : I heard you leave, and it was so uncomfortable that I start-
ed twisting around, and my elbow hit against the rear of the
clock Then there was a sliding noise, and I felt a hole in the
back. I managed to get my hand in and felt the money in there.
Oh, Shirley, I was so excited!
SHIRLEY: Oh, Anne, how thrilling! It's just like a story.
ANNE: After that, I suppose I must have fainted. I don't remem-
ber anything more.
THE CLOCK'S SECRET 171
MOTHER : No wonder you fainted, child. There wasn't enough air
in that tight place for a mouse to breathe.
SAMMY: Well, everything turned out all right. If I hadn't shut
Anne in the clock she'd never have found the money.
JOHN (Sarcastically) : You're a big help, Sammy.
SHIRLEY: That's right, the money is found! (Runs to MOTHER)
Oh Mother, couldn't we go home for Christmas?
JOHN: It wouldn't take long to open the house. Say yes, Mother.
I want a real country snow for Christmas, and a Christmas tree
right out of our own woods and a farm turkey and. . .
AUNT (Laughing) : You make it sound very attractive, John.
SAMMY : I want to go too !
ANNE : Mother dear, let's all go, please.
ALL: Please! Please!
MOTHER: Of course if everybody wants to go. . .
ALL: We do! We do!
MOTHER: Then what are we waiting for?
CHILDREN : Hurrah ! (They dance around the room singing "Jingle
Bells" as the curtain falls.)
THE END
THE SHADY SHADOWS
by Helen Louise Miller
Characters
NIP, a girl
TUCK, her brother
NIP'S SHADOW
TUCK'S SHADOW
MOLLY, a maid
VOICE OF A RADIO SINGER
SCENE 1
SETTING : NIP and TUCK'S bedroom.
AT RISE: NIP and TUCK are studying Robert Louis Stevenson's
poem, "My Shadow" They are just finishing reciting it, in
singsong fashion.
NIP and TUCK :
One morning very early before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup ;
But my lazy little shadow like an arrant sleepyhead,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
NIP : Now that we have learned it, what are we going to do with
it? I can see some excuse for learning multiplication tables,
because, after all, we must know them to do long division and
interest problems. But what use can we ever make of poetry?
TUCK : I'm sure I don't know. When I grow up to be an inventor,
maybe I'll invent some uses for poetry. Perhaps I could rig up
a new-fashioned restaurant — something like an automat. We
could call it Poetical-Mat and the customers would have to
recite a verse or two before they could get anything to eat.
NIP: That would be fun. "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" might
buy a sandwich, and "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe"
might be the price of a glass of milk.
172
THE SHADY SHADOWS 173
TUCK : Ice cream and pie would be more expensive — something
like "The Children's Hour" or "Wynken, Blynken and Nod"
for those.
NIP: You'll be a second Thomas Edison if you ever work out
that idea, Tuck. But if we are going to get credit for this poem
on Monday, we had better go over it again.
NIP: "But what can be the use of him is more than I can see!"
There is something for you to invent, Tuck. A use for
shadows !
TUCK: I can think of plenty of uses for them, if I could just
invent a way to catch them.
NIP: What, for instance?
TUCK: Make them work for us, of course. They could do all
our geography and arithmetic and spelling; and yours could
wash the dishes and mine could rake the yard and shovel snow
in the winter time.
NIP : And go to the dentist and take castor oil —
TUCK : Maybe I could fix it so we could eat the green apples and
they could get the stomach-ache.
NIP : You'd have to be terribly clever for that, Tuck, but I guess
you could do it if you put your mind to it.
TUCK : Sure I could, if I had plenty of time.
NIP: Wouldn't that be wonderful? Oh, Tuck, let's try to think
of a way to catch shadows. Tomorrow we have a test in history
and it would be grand to get the shadows to learn all the dates.
TUCK : And Father wants me to clean the garage this afternoon.
That would be a good job for the shadows. Then I could go
to the "Y."
NIP: Think hard, Tuck.
TUCK: I am thinking. You better think too. You might get an
idea — accidentally or something.
NIP: We could set a shadow-trap.
TUCK: What's that?
NIP: A trap to catch shadows, of course. We'd have to catch
them alive, you know.
TUCK: What would we use for bait?
NIP: I don't know. What do shadows like best?
TUCK : Light. You must have light to catch a shadow.
NIP : But we need something to hold them fast after we gdt them.
174 THE SHADY SHADOWS
TUCK: Hold them fast! Hold them fast! I've got it, Nip, I've
got it!
NIP: Got what?
TUCK : A way to hold them fast.
NIP: How?
TUCK: Remember when you broke your little chair last week?
NIP: Yes, but —
TUCK: And I fixed it with Hold Fast Glue!
NIP: Tuck, you are marvellous!
TUCK : And there's almost a whole bottle left. See — (Gets bottle
of glue from desk drawer.) Now all we need to do is smear the
glue on this screen, put a light behind it, and when the shadows
come out they will stick fast to the screen. Then we'll have
them at our mercy.
NIP: What shall we do with them?
TUCK : Make them promise they 11 do everything we say before
we pull them loose.
NIP: That's perfect. Come on, give me a brush.
TUCK : You smear half of the screen and I'll attend to the other
half. Be sure to get it on good and thick. (Children smear glue
on reverse side of screen.) Won't the shadows be surprised
when they can't get away from the screen?
NIP: They'll think they've walked into some flypaper. (Finish-
ing screen)
TUCK : Now, we'll set the desk light on the floor behind the screen
and, when we walk near the light, our shadows will appear.
(Set the light on floor behind screen. They walk to wall socket,
turn on light and move behind the screen. The SHADOWS enter
center so that their shadows are reflected on the screen instead
of the actual shadows of NIP and TUCK. As soon as the shad-
ows are visible, NIP and TUCK run out in front of the screen.)
SHADOWS (Struggling madly) : Help! Help! Let us out. We're
stuck!
NIP: It worked! It worked!
TUCK : Naturally it worked. See, they can't possibly get loose.
SHADOWS: Nip! Tuck! Help! Police! Fire I- Murder ! Help!
NIP: Sh! You'll arouse the neighbors.
TUCK: And Mother and Father, too.
TUCK-SHADOW: You let us go, you great big bully! Get us out
of here, or I'll — I'll —
THE SHADY SHADOWS 175
TUCK: Now, now! No threats if you please, Mr. Shadow. You
must be more polite.
NIP-SHADOW: You horrible children. I'm going to tell youi
mother. I hope she puts you to bed and feeds you on bread
and water for the rest of your lives.
NIP : I'm afraid you'd get awfully thin, Shadow, for you depend
on us, you know, for your very existence.
TUCK-SHADOW : Why did you play this sticky trick on us? .
TtJCK : We had our reasons.
TUCK-SHADOW : Well, what are they?
TUCK: You mean you are ready to listen to reason?
TUCK-SHADOW: Yes.
NIP : And you too, my little Shadow ?
NIP-SHADOW : Yes, but hurry. This glue is getting in my hair.
TUCK: Do you really want us to set you loose?
TUCK-SHADOW : Certainly. If you think it is any fun to be stuck
•fast to this screen, you try it.
NIP: Are you willing to do us a few favors?
NIP-SHADOW: Anything.
TUCK: Anything?
TUCK-SHADOW: Yes, anything to get out of this mess.
TUCK: Even to taking castor oil?
NIP: And standing for hours to have dresses tried on?
SHADOW: Yes.
TUCK: All right, then. We'll set you free. But first you must
promise to do all our work for us today so that we can have
the time for ourselves. Do you promise?
SHADOWS: We do.
TUCK: Well, first there is the garage to be cleaned. Then, the
yard must be raked and the hedge trimmed. Dad is very partic-
ular about the hedge. Be sure to get it straight. After that
you better have a look at my arithmetic for Monday and there
is a composition to be written about "How I Spent Saturday."
Be sure to leave a margin and put in a lot of commas and
apostrophes. Miss Collins is a Holy Terror on punctuation.
If you have time after that, you might sort out the old maga-
zines and newspapers in the cellar. I was supposed to do that
this morning, but I've been too busy.
TUCK-SHADOW: Is that all?
TUCK: Yes, unless you have time to take the wash over to Mrs.
176 THE SHADY SHADOWS
Reilly. Mother likes to send it to her on Saturday afternoon.
NIP: My bureau drawers are in an awful mess, and my blue
sweater needs mending. I tore a hole this big in it yesterday.
The living room hasn't been dusted and I'm supposed to re-
turn a book to the library for Mother. Be sure to practice my
piano lesson a full hour and a quarter or I won't be allowed
to go to the movies next week, and be careful about lifting your
wrist I'm always dropping mine. Mr. Totino is wild. You'll
find my school books here on the desk and take extra pains with
the history, because we're having a test on Monday.
NIP-SHADOW : Do you mean you want us to do all that work this
afternoon?
TUCK : Unless you prefer the screen.
NIP-SHADOW : But —
TUCK-SHADOW : You villains !
NIP: Stick to your promise — or stick to the screen. It makes
no difference to us.
TUCK: Do you promise?
SHADOWS (Reluctantly) : Yes.
NIP: On your word of honor?
SHADOWS : On our honor.
TUCK: Criss cross your heart?
NIP: And hope to die?
SHADOWS : Criss cross our hearts and hope to die.
TUCK: Come on, Nip, let's pull 'em loose. (They catch hold of
the SHADOWS' outside hands and puU. There is a tearing sound
and suddenly the SHADOWS are released.)
NIP-SHADOW: Where are you going?
NIP: I'm going for a bicycle ride, and then, maybe to the movies.
TUCK: I'm going to the "Y" for a swim and then Fred Prey's
going to show me his new boat.
NIP-SHADOW (Half crying) : I want to go with you.
NIP : Not today. You're going to stay right here and be useful.
TUCK-SHADOW (To NIP-SHADOW) : Don't let them see you cry.
(To children) Hurry if you're going.
TUCK: Goodbye and good luck to you.
NIP: Goodbye and don't forget my sweater. (Exit NIP and
TUCK.)
NIP-SHADOW (Crying) : Oh, this is dreadful. Why should they
treat us like this? We never did anything to them.
THE SHADY SHADOWS 177
TUCK-SHADOW : I guess we have led an idle life, but who ever
heard of shadows working?
NIP-SHADOW: I've heard of people working themselves to a
shadow, but I never really saw anyone do it
TUCK-SHADOW : Neither did I. But Nip and Tuck will be sorry.
They forgot something.
NIP-SHADOW: What?
TUCK-SHADOW : They forgot that since we are their shadows we
must be as smart as they are. If Tuck is an inventor, so am I.
We know a few tricks ourselves.
NIP-SHADOW: That's so. But what tricks do we know? Good
ones, I mean ? Good enough to make Nip and Tuck wish they
had never caught us?
TUCK-SHADOW : I have several up my sleeve. And if you'll stop
crying and come along with me to the garage, I'll elucidate my
cryptic utterance !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : Same as Scene 1
AT RISE : The SHADOWS are seated at a small table in the act of
finishing their supper. They wear pajamas and bathrobes.
NIP-SHADOW: Wasn't that delicious ice cream?
TUCK-SHADOW: And that coconut cake! Ummmmmm!
NIP-SHADOW: I would never have dreamed the difference it
makes in the flavor of food — eating it first hand, I mean, in-
stead of letting Nip and Tuck do the actual tasting.
TUCK-SHADOW : Everything tasted so good because we were hun-
gry. Cutting that hedge gave me an enormous appetite.
NIP-SHADOW :• Well, we've eaten everything but the dishes, and
all our work is finished, so we might as well go to bed. I'm tired
178 THE SHADY SHADOWS
TUCK-SHADOW: I have a little matter to attend to first.
NIP-SHADOW: What? I thought you had finished all your work.
TUCK-SHADOW : So I did, but this is pure pleasure. A little in-
vention of my own. (He begins to do mysterious things with
the light fixtures.)
NIP-SHADOW: What are you doing?
TUCK-SHADOW : Making the world safe for democracy — for the
democracy of us shadows, I mean.
NIP-SHADOW : I don't understand.
TUCK-SHADOW: You will. Wait and see. Listen — here they
come. Quick, sit down at the table. (They run to the table.
NIP and TUCK, bedraggled and dead tired, enter right.)
NIP: Hello. Did you finish all the work?
NIP-SHADOW (Glancing at the empty dishes) : Yes, we've fin-
ished everything.
TUCK : So I see, if you mean food, and we are nearly starved.
NIP : I'll ring and ask Molly to bring us some supper.
TUCK-SHADOW: You can't, or rather, you can, but she won't
You see, she thinks you have had your supper so she won't
bring you any more. She'll think it will make you sick.
TUCK: But she certainly knew you weren't us. You are black.
TUCK-SHADOW: Black looks white to some people. We might
look black to you but that is because you know we are your
shadows. When you went away and left us here alone, we
appeared to be you. No one noticed any difference.
NIP-SHADOW: And we had an extra piece of cake for supper
because your mother said we had done our work so well.
TUCK-SHADOW : By the way, your father gave me fifty cents for
cutting the hedge.
TUCK: Good! Where is it? Give it to me.
TUCK-SHADOW : It was my money. I earned it, but shadows have
no use for money so I gave it to the boy next door.
TUCK: You gave it away! (Moaning) He gave my fifty cents to
Billy Bates!
NIP : Well, I must have something to eat. I'm starving. (Rings
bell and moves left stage. Calls) Molly.
VOICE OFFSTAGE: Yes, Miss Nip?
NIP: Will you please get Tuck and me a glass of milk and a
sandwich, Molly?
MOLLY: Indeed, and I'll do no such thing. You children have
THE SHADY SHADOWS 179
done nothing but eat all afternoon . . . and such a supper as
you had!
TUCK: But, Molly!
MOLLY: No buts, young man. Your mother has just discovered
that the whole bottom layer has been eaten out of her candy
box. And when your father finds that there is no apple pie for
his dinner, I'd hate to be in your shoes. Take my advice, you
rascals, and get to bed before your parents come upstairs.
TUCK : You villains ! You've got us into a pretty mess.
NIP : Father is always in a temper when there is no pie for dinner.
NIP-SHADOW : We're sorry, but we had to keep up our strength
to accomplish all that work.
TUCK-SHADOW : And it's finished, too, every bit of it.
NIP : That's the first good news you've told us.
TUCK: Come on, Nip, let's get ready for bed. We won't mind
being hungry while we are asleep, and in the morning we'll eat
enough to make up for this. (Exit NIP and TUCK. As soon as
they leave, the SHADOWS, with much giggling hop into bed.)
TUCK (Offstage) : Who's been using this toothpaste?
TUCK-SHADOW: We have. We didn't care very much for it
either. After this, you better get peppermint.
NIP : And there's no hot water.
NIP-SHADOW: Of course not. We were terribly dirty, and we
each took a bath before supper.
TUCK: Where are my bedroom slippers?
TUCK-SHADOW : In here — under my bed.
TUCK (Entering) : Your bed ! Why, you — Nip, they're in our
beds!
NIP (Entering) : Make them get out right away. I'm nearly dead.
TUCK : Get out of there right away, or I'll knock you out.
TUCK-SHADOW : All right — knock me out. But I'll yell like an
Indian and then your father and mother will probably come up
to see what is the matter.
NIP: And I wish they would. They'd make you get out soon
enough.
NIP-SHADOW: And what would they do to you for eating the
candy and the pie?
TUCK-SHADOW : And someone broke a window over at the Bates
place. Mr. Bates thinks it was Tuck, 'cause I heard your father
say he'd attend to you the first thing in the morning. I guess
he'd do it tonight if you made any disturbance.
180 THE SHADY SHADOWS
TUCK (In despair) : Oh, my goodness! Nip, these shadows have
ruined us. They've got us into more trouble in one day than
we can get out of in a week.
NIP-SHADOW : I guess it will take a couple of weeks because I'm
not very good at washing dishes and I'm afraid I broke a lot of
them. Your mother is going to be terribly annoyed when she
finds her big blue platter is gone.
NIP : Not the willow pattern !
NIP-SHADOW : I guess that's what you call it I didn't ask any-
body. I just swept the pieces under the range!
NIP: Under the range! (Beginning to cry) Oh, Tuck, Mother
said last week I'd have to pay for every dish I broke, and that
platter cost a fortune. I know it did. And it's all your fault
for getting these awful creatures here.
TUCK : My fault ! You were as keen about it as I was. Do you
suppose I'm going to enjoy that broken window business ?
NIP : Well, get rid of them. Make them get out of our beds.
SHADOWS (Quoting from poem) : "He's always there before me
when I jump into my bed."
TUCK : Well, you won't be there long. I'll fix you. I'll turn out
the light. Then where will you be?
TUCK-SHADOW : I couldn't guess. Where will we be when you
turn out the light, that is, if you can turn it out?
TUCK : What do you mean — if I can turn it out?
TUCK-SHADOW: I mean you can't! (TucK runs to light switch,
turns it and nothing happens.)
TUCK: Great jumping grasshoppers! Nip, I can't turn it out!
He's monkeyed with the switch.
TUCK-SHADOW : You forget I am an inventor like you. Wasn't
it clever of me?
TUCK: Jerusalem! Nip, we can't get rid of them! I can't turn
out the light
NIP: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Why did we ever get into this mess?
TUCK: What are we going to do?
NIP: We can't have them here forever — breaking dishes, and
eating candy and ruining our lives. (Loud snores from the
SHADOWS.)
TUCK (Shaking them) : Listen, you, will you go away peaceably?
(More snores.) *
NIP (Stamping her foot) : Go away, you hateful black things.
(Snores.)
THE SHADY SHADOWS 181
TUCK-SHADOW (Between snores) : You must be more polite.
TUCK : Why have you treated us like this ?
NIP-SHADOW : We had our reasons.
NIP : Let's hear them.
TUCK-SHADOW (Sitting up) : You mean you are willing to listen
to reason?
NIP and TUCK: Yes.
TUCK-SHADOW: Are you willing to promise anything we ask?
BOTH: Yes.
NIP-SHADOW: Anything?
BOTH: Anything.
TUCK-SHADOW: Then promise never, never, never to set any
more shadow traps.
BOTH : We promise.
TUCK-SHADOW (Jumping out of bed) : Criss cross your hearts
and hope to die.
BOTH : Criss cross our hearts and hope to die !
NIP-SHADOW: All right. Fix the lights, Mr. Inventor. (TUCK-
SHADOW fixes light.)
TUCK-SHADOW : It's all right now. You can turn it off.
TUCK: Thanks, Brother Shadow, you are a better inventor than
I am. (Shadows move behind screen where their silhouettes are
visible.)
NIP-SHADOW: But this isn't the last of us. (Quoting) "He stays
so close beside me, he's a coward you can see ; I'd think shame
to stick to Nursie the way that shadow sticks to me !"
NIP: Oh, dear! It will make me nervous to see you.
TUCK-SHADOW : Don't worry, we won't trouble you again. We'll
just be playmates as we were before.
TUCK: Here goes the light — good-bye!
SHADOWS : Good-bye ! (The lights go out, the shadows disappear
and when the lights come on again, NIP and TUCK are in bed.)
NIP: What a day!
TUCK : And what a tomorrow if all those shadows said was true !
NIP: Turn on the radio a minute. Maybe a good song would
soothe our minds. (TucK turns on the radio.)
ANNOUNCER: The Lullaby Lady from Lullaby Lane will sing an
old favorite. ( Voice begins to sing — "I had a little shadow."
NIP and TUCK groan as they each throw a bedroom slipper at
the radio. Curtains fall.)
THE END
IF WISHES WERE HORSES
by Bertha Nathan
Characters
HIRAM, an old farmer
SILAS, his chum
JOHN, Hiram's nephew
EMMIE, John's wife
JACK
GEORGE
MARY
STELLA
- John's sons
orphans
SETTING: The yard of a farm house which is covered -with dry
leaves. Upper left is a rock.
TIME: Afternoon of late summer or early autumn.
AT RISE : The stage is clear. Then HIRAM comes on from house,
carrying a rake and crosses to rock.
HIRAM (Leans on rake) : That old rock just about ruins the looks
of the place. I certainly wish I could get rid of it. (Sighs and
starts raking leaves toward house. SILAS enters from the road
and creeps up to HIRAM, touching him with his stick.)
HIRAM: Ouch! You scared me coming up so quietly.
SILAS: Did you expect me to whistle "Listen to the mocking
bird"? (He whistles.)
HIRAM : No, I didn't expect you to whistle ; but you might have
cleared your throat or something.
SILAS (Clears his throat several times) : Is that right?
HIRAM : I suppose so. (He crosses and throws his hat towards
the rock.)
SILAS: Well it makes a good hat rack anyhow.
182
I* WISHES WERE HORSES 183
HIRAM : Well it ought to be good for something. My, how I'd
love to get rid of it
SILAS : I bet I've heard you say that a hundred times. Why don't
you do something instead of always talking about it?
HIRAM (Gestures with rake) : Do something. (Louder) Do some-
thing. Why you consarned old idiot. You know how I've tried
just about everything that anybody ever suggested.
SILAS: I never saw you do anything. What all did you do?
(Crosses stage and sits on ground near rock.)
HIRAM (Shakes his rake at him and sputters as he talks) : You're
just contrary that's what you are. You do know what I've done.
(He drops rake and counts on his fngers.) I've tried to dig it
up. I've tried to blast it. I've painted it (Throws out his hands
helplessly) Oh what's the use. I've tried everything (Pause)
but —
SILAS (Stares at hint with interest) : But what?
HIRAM (Looks around as though he might be overheard) : But
wishes.
SILAS (Laughs heartily) : That's a good one. You've done noth-
ing but wish.
HIRAM (Moves nearer to SILAS and sits down, knees drawn up to
chest, arms around them) : No, you don't understand what I
mean.
SILAS : Well I got to be goin' now. All I know is if wishes were
horses then beggars would ride. And I'd be ridin' home 'stead
of walking.
HIRAM; Wait a minute. If you remember the old saying about
wishes and horses, don't you remember the other one?
SILAS: What other one?
HIRAM : Why the one that says if a person sits on the rock and
makes an unselfish wish he gets his wish and the rock grows
smaller and smaller 'till it gradually goes away. But if he makes
a selfish wish the rock will grow larger and he won't get his wish.
SILAS (Stands up) : Well I'll make a wish right now.
HIRAM (Jumps up and putts him away from rock before he can
make a wish) : Oh no, you won't. First place the person musn't
know the story and second I said an unselfish wish. (Points his
finger at him) Like as not you'd wish for a ride home and then
my rock would grow bigger.
184 IF WISHES WERE HORSES
SILAS (Scratches his head) : Well, sorry I can't help you but I
really must go home for supper.
HIRAM (Puts his hand on SILAS'S arm) : Oh no, you don't. First
you are going to help me.
SILAS: Help you? Why you just said I couldn't help you.
HIRAM: Well now I say you can help me. So put down your
stick and come along. I want you to help me carry an old table
and blanket from the barn.
SILAS: What for?
HIRAM : Help me with the table and then I'll tell you. (They exit
down right to barn. HIRAM and SILAS return carrying table and
blanket to right center back stage near rock. They cover table
with blanket which reaches to floor.)
SILAS : Now will you tell me what all this nonsense is for ?
HIRAM : Sure I'll tell you. (He lifts the banket) I'm going to hide
under here ; and on top I'm going to put a scarecrow.
SILAS : Well what in tarnation that all has to do with your rock
I still don't see.
HIRAM : Well you will see.
SILAS: But when? Next year, I suppose.
HIRAM: No, matter of fact I think I'll have news for you to-
morrow morning or perhaps even late tonight.
SILAS (Reaches in his pocket and brings out a rumpled dollar bill) :
Bet you this against your lucky penny you can't wish that rock
away.
HIRAM : Oh, but I don't want to lose my lucky piece.
SILAS : I knew you had no faith in it
HIRAM (Hesitates a second) : I'll do it. It's a bet. (Puts out his
hand to shake with SILAS) And now go home. I've got lots of
work to do.
SILAS: I'll go home all right: but I'll be back for my lucky piece.
HIRAM : Better bring the dollar bill along — just in case. ( SILAS
exits left to road) Now I'll have to get that old scarecrow from
the hayloft. (Looks up at sky) It's nearly sunset I'll have to
hurry, too. (Exits lower right whistling or singing. Returns with
scarecrow which he places on table, then stands off to admire it)
But it ought to have a hat (Takes his own hat off and jams it
down on scarecrow's head) Yep, that looks better. My, he must
be an old fellow. (Puts his hand in pocket of scarecrow) I knew
it There's still moth-balls in the pocket Now I'll have to write
IF WISHES WERE HORSES 185
my notes because I want Emmie to get her note when she meets
John coining home for supper. And my nephew is a very punctual
man. (Pulls paper and pencil from pocket and writes leaning on
table . . . then he puts the note in the overcoat pocket along with
the sleeve) I know Emmie — she'll just have to pull out that
sleeve and then she'll find the note. (Laughs and hides under
the table.)
EMMIE (Comes on from house, looking up at sky) : Why it's
nearly sunset. Land sakes, can the sun be fast? I wonder. It
must be because I never knew John to be a minute late before.
(Louder) John, hurry up. (Notices the scarecrow) For pity's
sake what have we here? Uncle must have put this contraption
up. (Goes over to look at it and pulls sleeve out of pocket. The
note falls to the ground) Wonder what's on that piece of paper?
(Picks up note and reads it) Well, of all things ! It's a good
thing Uncle's not as smart as I am or he'd have found this note.
It has on it, up at the top, a skull and cross bones and it says if
you will dig near the rock, where there is a cross mark, on the
first night of full moon, at nine-thirty, you will receive a pack-
age. Place the package where you see the red dot. Sit touching
the rock to make your wish. Important: Obey all instructions
and leave before ten o'clock. This note must be very old. (Sees
JOHN coming and calls) John, hurry, I've got a big surprise
for you.
JOHN (Enters from roadf running and rubbing his hands on some
cotton waste as though to get grease off) : What's the matter,
Emmie? Aren't sick, are you? (Catches sight of scarecrow and
whistles) What's this? Who did it?
EMMIE (Puts her finger to her lips) : Shoo-o-o ! Uncle made it, I
suppose. He's always been talking Tx>ut bringing one up from
the field.
JOHN: Then why all the hush-hush about it?
EMMIE (Hands him note) : Take a look at this.
JOHN (Reads it) : Where'd you find it?
EMMIE: In the overcoat pocket Ifs that old coat thafs been in
the barn for years.
JOHN: Don't think it's a joke, do you?
EMMIE: How can it be a joke? I just accidentiy put my hand in
the pocket because the sleeve was tucked in, otherwise I wouldn't
have found it.
186 IF WISHES WERE HORSES
JOHN (Reads note again, then walks over to rock) : Now here to
the front between the house and the rock is where we dig. While
here right near the scarecrow is where we put the package while
we make our wish.
EMMIE: Yes, I guess you've got it about right.
JOHN (Faces EMMIE) : One thing certain, Emmie, you've just
got to get the boys to bed early. They'd never stop teasing us
if —
EMMIE (Cuts in) : Oh I'll do that, don't worry. But it will amount
to something. I feel it in my bones.
JOHN : Well I hope your bones are truthful.
EMMIE: Come now to supper. (She exits to house followed by
JOHN. HIRAM, laughing silently, slips out and puts another note
and sleeve back in pocket; then crawls under table again. JACK
and GEORGE enter from road, see the scarecrow and walk over
to it.)
JACK: Now who may you be? And how did you get here?
GEORGE: Perhaps 'tis royalty come to visit us. Let's make a bow.
(Both bow, then straighten up and sniff.)
JACK : Wonder where they are ? We could use them for marbles.
GEORGE (Pulls out sleeve and note and moth balls fall to ground) :
What do you know about this? Hidden treasure and all about
how to find it. (Reads note with JACK hanging over his arm.)
JACK (Walks over to rock) : Here is where we're supposed to dig.
GEORGE (Reading partly to himself and partly out loud) : First
night of full moon. That's tonight. Be at rock by ten o'clock
sharp. Leave before ten-thirty. Signed with bloody crossbones.
(Pointing with his hand) Now here is where we're supposed to
sit ; and here is where we place the treasure.
JACK: Yeah, I know. Lucky we found it before Mom saw it.
(EMMIE'S voice from the house: "Children come in this minute
for your supper")
GEORGE (SKps note in his pocket) : Coming right away. (Low
voice) How are we going to get the folks to bed?
JACK : Oh we'll just yawn and yawn and pretty soon Mom will say
we'd better go to bed. (Both exit to house. HIRAM crawls out
from under table just before EMMIE enters from house.)
EMMIE (Trying to pull him in house) : Where have you been?
Come in before supper gets stone cold.
HIRAM (Looking towards road) : Just leave me something on a
IF WISHES WERE HORSES 187
plate. I see Stella and Mary coming and I want to talk to them.
EMMIE: Well, all right, but we're all sleepy and want to go to
bed early.
HIRAM : I'm tired too so it suits me perfectly. (EMMIE exits to
house just as the children enter from road.)
STELLA (Coming toward scarecrow) : Oh, isn't it beautiful?
MARY : Oh, just beautiful
HIRAM (Walking over to stand near the girls) : Hello! What's
this? (Stoops pretending to pick up paper already in his hand)
Why, it's a note from the scarecrow!
STELLA: What does it say?
HIRAM : It's addressed "Two Good Little Girls." That must mean
you. (Both nod their heads and crowd round HIRAM.)
MARY : Please, Sir, won't you read the note to us?
HIRAM: It says at ten-thirty to dig where there is an arrow.
(Walks to the spot followed by the children. Looks at note
again.) When you have your treasure sit on ground facing rock
to make your wish.
MARY : Please, Mr. Hiram, we'd be scared to stay out so late.
HIRAM : There's no need to be scared We'll have a full moon
tonight: and I'll be around to take you home.
STELLA (Jumping up and down) : Oh let's, Mary. We can slip
out through the little window. I wonder what we'll get
MARY: If you think it's all right, then we'll come.
HIRAM (Taking each child by the hand) : I think it's perfectly all
right ; and I'll see you tonight. Now run home because it's sup-
per time. (The children wave to him as they run off.)
HIRAM (Stretching his arms up and yawning) : Well I guess it's
supper and bed for me. (Turns to scarecrow) And now my
friend, it's up to you. (He exits to house.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same.
TIME: Night of same day.
188 IF WISHES WEBB HORSES
AT RISE: JOHN and EMMIE enter from house. EMMIE carries a
lantern or flashlight; JOHN a spade.
EMMIE : Have you got the paper.
JOHN (Puts a finger to his lips) : Sh— sh— , not so loud or you'll
wake the boys.
EMMIE : The boys are very sleepy. They won't wake. But what
about Uncle?
JOHN: He's been in his room all evening with the door shut.
(Followed by EMMIE, he goes over to the spot and starts to dig)
Now we'll soon see what's what. (He lifts a package from under
the leaves and hands it to EMMIE) There you are.
EMMIE (Sniffing as she takes it) : It's money. I just know it is.
It even smells like it.
JOHN : That's funny. Smells like money. Now put it between the
rock and scarecrow ; then we make our wish. (Both sit facing
rock) Hurry up, now.
EMMIE : I just wish you'd give me a chance to concentrate. O-Oh !
JOHN : A bad one. I knew it. Well, all I wish is that you don't
blame me. ( HIRAM pulls the package under the table.)
EMMIE (Sadly) : They're both bad. Well anyhow we have our
package. (They both get up and JOHN goes to look for the
package.)
JOHN : I certainly know where I put it and it isn't here. Some-
how it makes me feel queer. Sort of like ghosts. Let's go in
before we overstay our time and have more bad luck. Now re-
member we don't tell Uncle or the boys. (They exit. HIRAM slips
package under the leaves just before the boys come out tiptoe
fashion holding a lantern.)
GEORGE (Finger to lips) : Sh — sh — your shoes squeak.
JACK: They don't either. Its yours that squeak. (Takes map out
of pocket, looks at it, then walks to spot where package is- con-
cealed) Now right here's where it says to dig. (He digs.)
GEORGE (Hopping around) : Oh boy, I hope we get a treasure.
JACK (Throws down spade and putts out the package which has
been covered by leaves) : Hurray, here it is.
GEORGE : Sh — sh — be quiet. We'll put the package where it says to
then we'll make our wish. (They put package near scarecrow.)
JACK (Both sit facing rock) : Now we'll make our wishes. I'll
start.
IF WISHES WERE HORSES 189
GEORGE: I wish you'd once let me do something first. Oh —
(Putting his hand over his mouth) I made a wish.
JACK (Sarcastically) : And how. Wish I'd come alone.
GEORGE (Slowly) : Well both wishes are gone now. Let's get our
package. Wonder what's in it. (They look for package but
HIRAM has pulled it under the blanket.)
JACK (As they both stand staring at each other) : Where is it?
GEORGE: We must've dreamed it.
JACK: Yes, I guess we did. (They tumble off almost asleep as the
girls come on from road carrying a lighted lantern.)
MARY (Shuddering) : My, it's awful spooky here.
STELLA: I'm scared to death. (They put down lantern.)
MARY: Wonder where Mr. Hiram is? He said he'd meet us here.
STELLA (Teeth chattering) : What's that?
MARY : Oh that's the scarecrow. Don't you remember you saw it
this afternoon? (HiRAM comes out of the back of table so the
children do not see him coming.)
HIRAM (Rubbing his hands together) : Well, well, if it isn't my
old friends Mary and Stella.
STELLA: Oh, Mr. Hiram, we're so glad to see you. We're so
scared.
HIRAM (Picking up lantern) : Nothing to be scared of. Now let's
get right down to work. Let me see the note.
MARY (Handing him the note) : Let me hold the lantern for you.
HIRAM (Spreading note outt then going over to the spot followed
by the girls) : It says to dig right. here.
STELLA: Do you think we'll find something, Mr. Hiram?
HIRAM (Taking up the package) : We did find something. A
nice big package. Looks as if it might be money. Now hold on
to it while you sit here to make your wish. (Points to place to
sit then walks off a few steps.)
STELLA (After they have sat down) : My it's so pretty here with
the moon shining so bright. I wish all the children could see it.
MARY : Our wish. Be careful.
STELLA : Well, I do wish it but I guess I wasted my wish. (Slow-
ly) Well perhaps there's money in the package then we could
have a party with presents for everybody.
MARY (Nodding her head) : Yes I wish so too ; and a lollypop
for every girl. »
HIRAM (Taking a long breath and letting it out on the words) :
190 IF WISHES WERE HORSES
Glory be somebody's made an unselfish wish. (Backstage some-
body must pull all pillows out of rock.)
STELLA (Wringing her hands) : Oh, Mr. Hiram, your beautiful
rock. It fell down.
MARY (Crying) : Please, Mr. Hiram, don't be angry with us. We
didn't do anything to it
HIRAM : Oh yes you did.
STELLA (Nodding her head sideways) : Oh no we didn't. Hon-
estly we didn't
HIRAM : Yes you did. You made a lovely wish. And in this world
when we do a kind act it sometimes blots out an ugly one.
MARY : But the rock was beautiful.
HIRAM : No, that's where you're wrong. It's very ugly. I always
wanted to get rid of it but somebody had to make an unselfish
wish before it would fall. And you did it. (He pulls them to
their feet) Now let's open your package and see what's in it.
MARY (Handing it to HIRAM) : You open it, please.
HIRAM (Tearing the paper at one end) : Children, it's money.
Now you can have the party you were wishing for.
STELLA and MARY (Jumping up and down) : Thank you, Mr.
Hiram.
HIRAM : Don?t thank me. I didn't do it. Didn't you read the note
I found in the scarecrow's pocket?
STELLA : Yes, but you gave us the note.
MARY: Yes, you did.
HIRAM : Well we'll talk that over tomorrow when you come over
to see how nice the place looks without the rock. But now you
must go home because it is very late.
STELLA: Oh, we will come, Mr. Hiram.
HIRAM (Handing STELLA the lantern and going to exit with
them) : Now, girls, go right straight up the road and wave your
lantern just as soon as you get to the home. Then I'll know
you're safe.
MARY : We won't forget to wave. And thank you for helping us
get the treasure. (They exit.)
HIRAM (Stretching) ; It's been a long day but a grand one. Hello,
what's that? Somebody with a flashlight coming along the road.
(Pause) And whoever it is has stopped the children. Perhaps
I'd better go see who it is. (Snaps on flashlight and starts to go,
then realizes it is only his old friend.) I see now. It's only Silas
IF WISHES WERE HORSES 191
— might've known he'd be over to try to get my lucky piece.
( Yawns then crosses right and leans on table as SILAS comes in.)
Well I reckon you've come to collect your bet.
SILAS : No, I guess it's the other way 'round. The girls were both
chattering away for dear life about a picnic for all the children.
But tell me what happened.
HIRAM : First go over and look at my rock.
SILAS (Looking all around) : Why, you haven't any rock! Who
did it?
HIRAM: The children. They wished for a picnic for the whole
orphan asylum. A real unselfish wish.
SILAS (Unpins his pocket and takes out a worn wallet from which
he takes a dollar bill then he puts wallet back in pocket and
fastens pin. He hands it to HIRAM) : Here's your dollar.
HIRAM : Well, Silas, I guess I'll give this to the children, too. It
ought to buy the lemonade. (Puts his hand on SILAS'S shoulder)
Just think all these years I've wanted to get rid of that ugly old
rock ; and how many different ways I've tried to do it. (Pauses)
And yet all it really needed was just one little unselfish wish.
THE END
NOT ON THE MENU
by Mary Thurman Pyle
Characters
BARBARA ANDERSON, 14, capable and thoughtful
JEAN ANDERSON, 12, whose imagination is sometimes almost too
much for the family
TOMMY ANDERSON, 11, whose friendly grin includes everybody
"BUBBLES" ANDERSON, 8, a little girl who just bubbles over with
good spirits and affection
LESLIE NORRIS "1 ... ,
BOB BROWN j inends
AUNT HARRIET, the Anderson children's great-aunt — a severe,
plain-spoken, somewhat terrifying old lady
MRS. ANDERSON, an understanding mother
SETTING : The sun porch at the Anderson house.
AT RISE: The four Anderson children are discovered busily pre-
paring for some unusual event. The furniture has been pushed
back and in the center of the room a heap of sticks has been laid,
with three large sticks crossed at top, in imitation of a gypsy
camp fire. Other touches are about to suggest that the children
have been converting the porch into a gypsy camp. At one end
of a table, BARBARA is counting some kitchen knives and forks,
and JEAN is pasting pieces of white paper onto the backs of old
playing cards. There are five finished, and she is completing the
sixth one. BUBBLES is fitting pieces of brown crepe paper over
some empty jelly glasses, putting rubber bands around the top
of the glasses to hold the paper in place. There are already five
glasses covered in this way, and she is completing the sixth.
TOMMY is tying a piece of burlap over a low kitchen stool on
which a sofa pillow is laid, the burlap to cover the whole, pro-
ducing an irregular, lumpy object.
192
NOT ON THE MENU 193
BUBBLES : What are we really going to drink out of these jelly
glasses, Barbara?
JEAN (Quickly): They aren't jelly glasses! They're brown,
earthenware mugs. That's what gypsies would use — I think.
TOMMY (Looking up from his job) : I'll bet gypsies wouldn't
have cocoa for supper, though.
JEAN : Now, Tommy ! You promised you'd really play the game.
We've got to pretend the cocoa is a strange brew that only the
gypsies know how to make — a secret recipe handed down
to them.
TOMMY : Okay. But you've sure got some imagination, Jean. I'll
bet you'd like to bring some real rocks in here to make the
porch look more like a gypsy camp in the mountains.
JEAN (Laughing) : That's an idea ! If there were time, I would.
But that's a pretty good rock you're making.
TOMMY (Surveying his handiwork) : Some rock ! And I have to
sit on it, too.
JEAN : Well, if you want to be the king of this gypsy tribe, you've
got to get in the spirit of it.
BUBBLES : I think Jean has a wonderful imag — imag — (She is
unable to remember the big word.)
BARBARA: Imagination, darling.
BUBBLES : Imagination. That means she can make up swell stories,
doesn't it?
BARBARA : Yes, Bubbles, it does — but Mother asked you not to
say "swell." Remember?
BUBBLES: I won't, Barbara. But Tommy and all the boys say
"swell."
TOMMY: Sure we do. You practically have to. There's just no
other word. — Say, how is this boulder for the gypsy king to
sit on?
JEAN : That's swell — I mean, it's fine.
BARBARA : Just the thing — if it will hold you.
TOMMY (Grinning as he sits on "rock" to test it) : She works!
I'm the king of the tribe — and that means you'll do as I say !
JEAN (Enthusiastically) : Get your costlime on. I'm just dying to
see how you'll look.
BARBARA : I'll help you. (She selects from the pile oj accessories a
red handkerchief, which she ties around her brother's head, a
striped sash, which goes around his waist, a pair of curtain rings,
194 NOT ON THE MENU
with threads attached, which become earrings. The chatter con-
tinues as she adds these colorful items to TOMMY'S ordinary cos-
tume of shirt and trousers.)
TOMMY: Say, I don't know what Les and Bob will think of all
this junk. (Indicating the additions to his costume.)
BARBARA : Oh, we've got some things for them to dress up in, too.
JEAN : And if those two kids don't behave at our party, they'll
have to leave, that's all. Even if they are your special buddies.
TOMMY: Well, Mother said I could ask them, because tonight's
our dub night. And they're not kids. They're nearly as old as
you are.
JEAN : All right — but if Leslie Norris and Bob Brown don't play
like we want them to —
BARBARA : They will, Jean. I'm sure they will. — Look ! Doesn't
Tommy look wonderful?
JEAN (Her enthusiasm returning) : Isn't this jun? And wasn't
Mother a darling to let us have our supper like this ?
BUBBLES : I wish Mother was here, too — and Daddy. ( Her chin
begins to quiver.)
BARBARA (Quickly) : Never mind, Bubbles. Mother won't be out
long — and we'll have daddy home soon, I know.
TOMMY: These earrings won't stay on.
BARBARA : They will if you keep still.
JEAN: Imagine Tommy keeping still.
TOMMY: Sure I can!
BUBBLES (Going to her brother and hugging him) : Oh, Tommy,
you look so sweet!
TOMMY: Sweet! (His tpne is one of great disgust at the very
idea.)
BARBARA (Laughing) : Well, take the earrings off till time to
begin. There's more work to do before you can take your place
on yon throne and boss us around.
JEAN: I'll say there is. Get the flashlights and see how the fire
works.
TOMMY: I knew you girls would find more work for me to do.
BARBARA: But there's always a lot of things that only boys know
how to do.
TOMMY (Flattered) : Oh, well — (He goes out.) I'll get the
flashlights.
BUBBLES: I've finished the jelly glasses — (Hastily) — I mean
NOT ON TEE MENU 195
the — the — what kind of mugs did you say they were, Jean?
JEAN : Earthenware.
BARBARA: Come here, Bubbles, and let me fix you up. (BUBBLES
crosses to BARBARA, who adds beads and a headdress to her lit-
tle sister's outfit.)
JEAN : And I've finished the menus. Don't they look wonderful on
the backs of these old playing cards? You see, (To BUBBLES)
gypsies tell fortunes with cards, and that's how I got the idea of
putting our menus on them.
TOMMY (Returning with two flashlights) : Here they are. (All
bend over eagerly as he turns them on and places them among
the twigs and brown paper which are on the floor in the center of
the room, to give the effect of a lighted fire.)
BARBARA : That looks wonderful ! That was your idea, Tommy.
TOMMY (With no false modesty) : And a darned good one.
BARBARA : Tommy ! Mother does so want us to grow up speaking
nicely.
TOMMY: Well, if daddy were here, he'd understand how a fellow
has to say "darn" and "swell" sometimes.
BUBBLES: When will daddy come home? Do you know, Barbara?
BARBARA: The doctor says he should stay at the sanatorium for
several more months.
TOMMY: And hell be all well then, won't he?
BARBARA : Yes — if he can just stay there a while longer.
JEAN : If only we could think of a way to keep him at the sana-
torium. It seems like all of us together could raise the money —
somehow.
TOMMY : What could a bunch like us do to get the money ? Gosh,
I wish I were older. I could get a job.
JEAN : And so could I !
BARBARA (Firmly) : Now, listen, children ! Mother doesn't want
us to worry about things. She said so — very distinctly. The
best we can do is keep happy and cheerful. Daddy would want
that, too.
JEAN : There's Great-aunt Harriet !
TOMMY : Sure — and she could give mother the money she needs,
if she weren't a stingy old sour-puss.
BARBARA : Tommy, you mustn't say such things. Mother says if
worse comes to worse, she'll ask Aunt Harriet for help, but
you know mother. She'll not ask unless there's no other way out
196 NOT ON THE MENU
BUBBLES : Maybe Aunt Harriet doesn't know daddy is sick.
BARBARA : Of course she does — but perhaps she doesn't realize
we need money so badly. Poor darling mother has done every-
thing she can to make some extra money.
JEAN (With spirit) : I'm not afraid of Aunt Harriet! I'll ask her
for some money when she pays that promised call on us — if
she really does come, which I doubt.
BUBBLES (Hugging her sister) : Jeannie ! You're not afraid of
anybody.
BARBARA : Of course we can't ask her for help. If it has to be done,
mother will do it. As a loan, of course. And daddy must never
know. He must believe we're getting along all right, or he hasn't
as much chance to get well.
JEAN : And we are getting along all right ! Aren't we having a mar-
velous time this very minute, with our gypsy dinner? (This
brings them all happily back to matters at hand.)
BARBARA: Read the menu, Jean.
JEAN : I'm calling the stew "Hungarian goulash." There were
Hungarian gypsies, weren't there?
BARBARA: There must have been.
TOMMY: But I'll bet their old goulash couldn't hold a candle to
mother's beef stew with vegetables.
BUBBLES : I wish mother was here to eat it with us.
TOMMY : Trust mother to drop everything to go sit with old Mrs.
Andrews.
BUBBLES: Won't mother have any dinner?
BARBARA: Of course she will, Bubbles. She'll probably have a
delicious dinner, as well as the three dollars she'll make.
TOMMY : Old Mrs. Andrews is plenty rich. Mother will probably
have chicken and ice-cream and —
JEAN (Briskly) : But no fun ! Now, besides the Hungarian gou-
lash, I have down (Consulting her menu again) "gypsy brew"—
that's the cocoa. And for the rolls I wrote, "crusty bread baked
fresh over the coals." We can pretend we really are toasting
them, you see.
TOMMY (Guffawing) : Over the flashlights!
JEAN (Glowering) : Tommy! Are you going to play or not?
BARBARA: Of course he is. What else, Jean?
JEAN : Well, the apples and grapes we are supposed to have gath-
ered as we travelled through the country.
NOT ON THE MENU 197
TOMMY: Swiped 'em, you mean?
JEAN (Dubious over the moral issue involved) : Well — no.
Maybe we worked in the orchards for them. It was hard to think
up fancy names for just apples and grapes. I've heard of "apples
of Hesperides."
BARBARA (Superior) : Oh, they were in Greek mythology.
TOMMY: There was a movie called "Grapes of Wrath/'
JEAN : But that didn't have anything to do with gypsies, silly. I
thought "apples of happiness" sounded nice, and I've called the
grapes "vintage grapes." (Giggles.) 1 don't know exactly what
that means, but it makes them sound good.
BARBARA: Everything is ready to serve. Let's get dressed, Jean.
The boys will be here soon.
JEAN : May I wear the orange-colored scarf? (The two girls begin
to add their embellishments. At this moment there is a war
whoop from outside. LESLIE and BOB are approaching!)
JEAN : Did you say the boys would be here?
TOMMY: Hot dog! It's Les and Bob. (He goes to the porch door
and unlocks it. LESLIE and BOB burst in. They are noisy, pleas-
ant, average boys, about TOMMY'S age and his special cronies.)
LESLIE (Entering) : Whoopee! Hey, everybody!
BOB: Hail, hail, the gang's all here!
LESLIE: What kind of eats are we going to have?
BOB: Is your mother out?
BARBARA (Firmly) : Yes, mother's out. But that doesn't mean you
boys can raise the roof.
LESLIE (Taking in TOMMY'S costume) : Hey, look at Tom!
BOB (Bursting out laughing; quoting a popular song) : "You
ought to be in pitchers !"
BARBARA: "Pictures," Bob. "Pitchers" is simply dreadful.
BOB : Yeah, but the song says "pitchers."
TOMMY : You fellows have to dress up like this, too. Only I'm the
king of the tribe, see. (He struts about.)
BOB: Oh, yeah! Then I'll be Prime Minister.
LESLIE: And I'll be — who has charge of the food? — I'll be
chief cook.
JEAN : Here, boys, put on your scarves and handkerchiefs.
BUBBLES: And put your earrings on.
LESLIE: Sure we will, Bubbles.
BOB (With a bow) : Anything Miss Bubbles Anderson asks, we
will do!
198 NOT ON THE MENU
LESLIE (Bowing also) : Bubbles, our future glamour girl !
BARBARA : We will eat as soon as we're all fixed. It's to be a gypsy
supper, out here on the porch, you know. (There is the sound
of a long, firm ring at the doorbell. They all stand silent for a
moment.)
JEAN : Didn't mother say we shouldn't answer the doorbell when
she's out?
BARBARA: Yes, she did. (The ring is repeated.)
TOMMY: I'm not afraid. I'll go.
BARBARA : Wait, Tommy. Maybe they'll go away.
JEAN : Maybe we should telephone mother.
BARBARA: Oh, no. She said not to phone her unless something
really urgent came up.
BUBBLES : I'm — scared.
BARBARA : No, you're not, darling. Nothing could hurt us, with so
many of us here.
LESLIE : Especially with all us fellows.
BOB: Let's scare 'em off, whoever it is. Come on — let's give the
school yell. (Without more ado, the three boys let out a war
whoop of terrifying volume. The girls burst out laughing in
spite of themselves. There is a sudden loud knock at the porch
door. The laughers and the whoopers all stop in their tracks,
frozen. The knock is repeated, followed by a sharp, feminine
voice from outside.)
AUNT HARRIET (From outside) : Why doesn't someone open this
door? (She shakes the door.) Open this door! It's Harriet
Anderson — it's your great-aunt Harriet!
BARBARA (In a whisper) : Aunt Harriet! My goodness !
JEAN: What's she doing here? She wasn't supposed to come till
next week.
TOMMY : Let's pretend we don't hear her.
BARBARA : Of all times ! But we simply must open the door. After
all, she is our aunt.
TOMMY (Deprecatingly) : Our great-ximtl
AUNT HARRIET : Children ! Don't you hear me?
BARBARA (Going to the door and opening it) : Hello! Do come in.
You are our Aunt Harriet, aren't you?
AUNT HARRIET (At door) : Of course I am.
BARBARA: Please excuse us for not opening the door when you
first knocked. We were frightened for a minute, because we're
NOT ON THE MENU 199
alone. Mother isn't here right now. (AUNT HARRIET, tall, angu-
lar, rather forbidding, enters. She is about 60, grey-haired. She
peers about in a curious but not unkind way.)
AUNT HARRIET : Oh ! I'm sorry if I frightened you. (Dryly.) I
thought that you were merely making so much noise you didn't
hear me.
BARBARA (Apologetically) : We were making a lot of noise, I
guess.
AUNT HARRIET: And who are all these children? I didn't know
the family was so large.
BARBARA : Oh, only four of us belong here. I'm Barbara.
AUNT HARRIET: The oldest. I remember you. Your father brought
you to New York to see me once.
BARBARA : And this is Jean — she's twelve. And Tommy (she
draws TOMMY away from the other two boys) — this is Tommy
— he's eleven. And this is the baby — she's eight.
AUNT HARRIET (Looking them over appraisingly and stopping at
BUBBLES) : The youngest. Harriet ! Named after me, your
mother wrote me.
BUBBLES (In innocent friendliness) : I'm Bubbles.
BARBARA (Hastily) : You see, we thought "Harriet1' sort of —
sort of serious sounding for Bubbles. She is so — so bubbling
over all the time. And she's such a happy little soul —
AUNT HARRIET : I see ! You can't be happy if your name's Harriet,
I presume. (Fixes LESLIE and BOB with her glance. They stand
in comical attitudes of embarrassment.) Who are these?
TOMMY (With his friendly grin) : They are my special pals.
We're the three Musketeers — "One for all, and all for one."
(The boys go into position, with arms around each other's
shoulders, in the famed Three Musketeers style.)
AUNT HARRIET : You don't look like the Three Musketeers to me.
TOMMY : My goodness ! I forgot these rigs.
JEAN : We're playing gypsy, Aunt Harriet. Mother said we could,
while she was out.
AUNT HARRIET: Where is your mother?
BARBARA: She's — she's out on an errand. But I'll phone her
right away to come home. (She starts into the house.)
AUNT HARRIET: Nothing of the sort! (BARBARA conies back.)
It's all working out very nicely. I came on purpose at a time
your mother wasn't expecting me. And with her out — that's
200 NOT ON THE MENU
even better. You can tell a great deal about a family if you study
the children of that family when the parents aren't around. —
Well, aren't you going to ask me to sit down? And have dinner
with you?
BARBARA: Of course! Where are our manners! (The three girls
help AUNT HARRIET off with her coat and hat. Gradually the at-
mosphere thaws, as, childlike, they begin to take their aunt into
their jotty evening's plans.)
JEAN : It's a funny dinner — but we think it's going to be fun. It's
a gypsy dinner.
BARBARA (Explaining, as the eldest) : You see, Mother had to be
out for a few hours, and she left our dinner all ready — it's
beef stew —
JEAN (Clapping her hand over BARBARA'S mouth) : No, it isn't!
(To AUNT HARRIET) We're playing it's gypsy food, and we've a
menu, pasted on the backs of old playing cards.
BUBBLES: And I fixed the jelly — (Catching herself) the earthen-
ware mugs. There aren't but six, but you can have mine.
TOMMY : And I'm the king of the tribe.
LESLIE : I'm the Prime Minister. Do gypsies have prime ministers?
BOB : I'm head-man in the food department.
JEAN : And all of this is the gypsy camp. We're going to eat out
here on the porch. Mother said we could.
AUNT HARRIET: Where is your mother, may I ask?
BARBARA: She is staying with one of our neighbors who is an
invalid.
AUNT HARRIET : Very commendable — if she doesn't neglect her
family.
TOMMY: She gets three dollars for it — and we sure need the
money.
BUBBLES : For daddy.
BARBARA: Children!
AUNT HARRIET: Oh, I see.
BARBARA (Quickly) : Don't let's bother Aunt Harriet with things
like that. We want you to have a good time, Aunt Harriet.
JEAN (Inspired) : You can dress up! We've plenty of beads and
scarves.
TOMMY: And you can sit on this rock if you want to — (Grin-
ning) — only it isn't really a rock and it might break.
AUNT HARRIET : In that case, I'll take the armchair.
NOT ON THE MENU 201
JEAN : But not before you've dressed up like a gypsy. Here, let
me fix you. (She and BARBARA tie a bright handkerchief around
AUNT HARRIET'S head, before she can protest — if she meant to
protest — and put some beads around her neck.)
BUBBLES : Oh, you look so nice, Aunt Harriet. Let me put some
bracelets on you. (She stands against AUNT HARRIET'S knee and
slips a bracelet over her wrist.)
BARBARA : Boys ! — I mean, Prime Minister and Chief Cook —
bring on the dinner ! The king of the tribe will show you where
^ it is, while we entertain our honored guest. (She bows before
AUNT HARRIET, and the rest follow her lead, all laughing mer-
rily. The three boys march on in style, executing an "About,
face! Forward, march!")
JEAN : Here's our menu, Aunt Harriet. It's just crazy names for
what we are going to have. (AUNT HARRIET takes the "menu?*
and studies it, a little smile beginning to play about the corner of
her mouth.)
BARBARA : I'm sorry you struck us on stew night. Mother says
beef stew with vegetables is healthy and filling — for a bunch
of children.
BUBBLES (Innocently) : And it's cheap.
BARBARA: Bubbles! Ssh! (The boys return, bringing in an old-
fashioned iron kettle, the handle of which they have put across a
broomstick. They set it down over the make-believe fire.)
LESLIE : Goulash ! Lemme at it.
BOB : This stuff smells swell, no matter what you call it.
TOMMY (Taking his place on his "throne") : Bring on the eats!
BUBBLES (Very seriously) : You mustn't say "swell" and "eats."
(They all laugh at her manner.)
JEAN : Oh, this is such fun ! Don't you love being a gypsy, Aunt
Harriet?
TOMMY : I think you ought to be the gypsy queen, Aunt Harriet.
BARBARA : I do hope you don't mind pretending with us.
AUNT HARRIET : Not at all. I rather imagine I'll have a very en-
lightening — and entertaining time of it. And before the dinner
is served, may I quote some words apropos to the occasion. They
are words a real gypsy once said: "There's night and day,
brother, both sweet things. There's the sun and stars, brother,
all sweet things. There's the wind in the heath." (There is a
pause.)
202 . NOT ON THE MENU
JEAN (Sighs) : That's beautiful*
AUNT HARRIET (Softly) : I hadn't thought of those words for
years.
BUBBLES : I like you, Aunt Harriet.
TOMMY: Food! Food! That's a sweet thing, too!
LESLIE : I'll say ! (There is a chatter and a clatter as the girls begin
to serve the plates. The party is beginning to get into its stride
as the curtain falls.)
* * *
SCENE 2
AT RISE : MRS. ANDERSON is seated at the table, and the four
ANDERSON CHILDREN are grouped around her. MRS* ANDERSON
is an attractive, energetic, but gentle and understanding woman.
She has just come in from MRS. ANDREWS', and has taken off
her hat and coat, which lie on the table. She is reading a note
written on a piece of notebook paper. The children show by their
attitudes their affection for their mother and their interest in
what she is reading.
MRS. ANDERSON: But what did your Aunt Harriet say, Barbara?
BARBARA : She said she couldn't spend the night. I really did urge
her to, mother.
JEAN : She said she'd go back to the hotel and drop by again to-
morrow.
TOMMY : And that she'd leave you this note. I gave her a sheet of
my notebook to write it on.
MRS. ANDERSON : I can't understand her coming before the time
she set for her visit. Did you explain why I was away, Barbara?
BARBARA : Oh, yes, mother. I think she understood.
JEAN : And she had a wonderful time at our party — didn't she,
Barbara? She dressed up and everything.
BARBARA : She certainly seemed to enjoy it.
BUBBLES : And she ate some of everything.
TOMMY : I'd say she was a good egg.
NOT ON THE MENU 203
MRS. ANDERSON : Tommy !
TOMMY : I mean — a very nice — a very nice old lady. We had
plenty of fun.
BUBBLES : I like Aunt Harriet. She let me put the jewelry on her.
And she liked the mugs I fixed out of the jelly glasses.
MRS. ANDERSON (Reading the note) :
"Dear Charlotte."
BARBARA: What does she say?
JEAN : Read it loud mother.
MRS. ANDERSON (Begins to smile quietly as she continues to
read) : "I attended a very wonderful dinner party this evening.
I liked everything on the menu (that was really a very tasty
beef stew, besides being 'healthy and filling'), but I particularly
liked the things I found at that dinner which were not on the
menu. I shall give myself the pleasure of a more formal call to-
morrow. Harriet." And here's a postcript. "Don't worry about
the future, my dear Charlotte. There's night and day, brother,
both sweet things/ H."
JEAN : She told us that, too. A gypsy said it.
BARBARA : But what does she mean by things not on the menu?
MRS. ANDERSON : I think I understand that. She meant (Looking
at BARBARA) tact and grace; (Looking at JEAN) and wit and
imagination. (She rumples TOMMY'S hair fondly and he grins at
her.) She meant friendliness and good nature. (She lifts BUB-
BLES to her knee.) And affection. Yes, she certainly meant af-
fection.
BUBBLES : She said I was named Harriet, but I said no, I was
"Bubbles."
MRS. ANDERSON : You didn't ! And you're supposed to be named
after her. Oh, my goodness! (They are all laughing at their
mother's tone of comic dismay, as the curtain falls.)
THE END
CHILDREN OF THE SUN
by Charles Rittenhouse
Characters
CHAIRMAN
PROFESSOR STELLAR
JEAN
JOAN
TIM
TOHN r y°un9 science students
JENNY
JOE
LONELY STAR (afterwards the Sun)
MERCURY
VENUS
EARTH
MARS
JUPITER
SATURN
URANUS
NEPTUNE
PLUTO
CHARLIE, the Comet
LADY SPACE
THE PILOT
Two CHART BEARERS
SETTING: A schoolroom.
AT RISE: CHAIRMAN enters with PROFESSOR STELLAR whom he
ushers politely to a seat by the desk. Then he taps his bell and
waits for absolute silence.
CHAIRMAN: The meeting will now come to order. This morning
our Science Club has a very famous visitor who is going to ad-
dress us. As you know, we have been studying about the sun and
the earth and all that, and some of us were pretty puzzled. So
204
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 205
when our teacher heard that Professor Stellar was passing
through the town, she asked him if he would pay us a visit. Now,
the Professor is a very busy man, but he kindly consented to
come, and I am more than happy to welcome him. (Introducing
him grandly) Professor Stellar ! (He sits. The class applauds as
the PROFESSOR rises and comes front. He is a cheerful old man
with silver-rim glasses and a goatee.)
PROFESSOR: Thank you, boys and girls, thank you. (He looks
them over, smiling) So you want to learn something about the
solar system, eh? That's fine, fine. Now, I tell you what: you
ask me questions and I'll try to answer them. All right? Well,
any questions? (He waits but no one speaks) Come, come; don't
be afraid to speak. I thought you wanted to find out about the
solar system. (Again he waits. The class is puzzled. There is
some shrugging and audible whispering.)
CHAIRMAN: Er... beg pardon, Professor Stellar, but I don't
think we know what you mean when you say the — uh — the
solar system. We're sorta dumb.
PROF. : Oh, I'm very sorry. Perhaps I should have said the sun
and his family of planets. But then maybe you didn't know the
sun had a family, did you? (JEAN puts up her hand) Yes. . . ?
JEAN : Please, sir, is the earth part of the sun's family?
PROF, : Yes, and the earth has eight brothers and sisters. Did you
know that?
JOAN (Surprised) : Eight brothers and sisters?
JIM: Where are they, sir?
PROF. : You can see them in the sky among the stars.
JOHN : But there are more than eight stars.
JENNY: Lots more.
PROF. : Of course. But the brothers and sisters of the earth are not
stars. We call them planets.
JEAN : Why? What's the difference?
PROF. : A star is a ball of fire burning in the sky just like our sun.
But a planet does not burn. You live on one so you should know.
And then planets always move around some star, just as the
earth moves around the sun. Is that clear? Planets always move
around some burning star from which they get their light and
heat.
JOE : I see, sir. But how did the earth and the other planets get
there? How were they made?
206 CHILDREN OF THE SUN
PROF. : Now, that's a real question, and nobody knows the answer.
Nobody. But this is what some scientists think. You watch. . .
(He claps his hands. Enter with a rush LONELY STAR to center,
twirling a red cape. He is followed by the nine planets who stand
behind him in a line, back to audience, in this order, right to left :
PLUTO, SATURN, JUPITER, VENUS and on the other side of
LONELY STAR, MERCURY, EARTH, MARS, NEPTUNE, URANUS.
They do not move until they are "born" They each carry hidden
a red ribbon on a stick.)
LONELY (As he enters) : Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! (He stands
centre twirling his red cape slowly.)
PROF. : Once long ago the sun was a lonely star. (LONELY STAR
bows to audience.) He was just like all the other stars, only
smaller than most of them. All by himself he travelled through
space — on and on and on, whirling round and round — a great
big lonely ball of fire. There were many other stars in the sky,
but somehow he could never get near to them, never any nearer
than a million million miles. (LONELY STAR stops whirling his
cape, listens, stares off) The only friend Lonely Star ever met
on his travels was Charlie the Comet who came whizzing by once
every five hundred years. Like this. . .
CHARLIE (Offstage) : Whizzzzz! (He comes racing in from left,
hissing, and circles wildly about LONELY STAR all during the
following. He wears flapping streamers on his arms) Here I am
again ! Here I am again ! Here I am again !
LONELY : My goodness, Charlie Comet, but I'm glad to see you.
CHARLIE : So am I ! So am I ! So am I !
LONELY (Trying vainly to follow his circlings) : Please stop a
minute and talk to me. You make me dizzy. Please, Charlie
Comet.
CHARLIE : Can't stop now ! Can't stop now ! Gotta be off ! Gotta be
off! Whizzzz! (He races off right, hissing.)
LONELY : Oh golly, there he goes ! Now I won't see him again for
500 years. I do wish I had someone to talk to — anyone. This is
a rotten life. Oh well. . . (He starts gloomily twirling his cape.
After a pause a girVs voice is heard through a megaphone off-
stage. We never see her.)
SPACE: Hello there!
LONELY (Stops suddenly) : My goodness, a voice !
SPACE: Hel-lo-o!
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 207
LONELY: Who's that?
SPACE : Me. Just me.
LONELY (Looking around) : Who are you?
SPACE: I am Lady Space.
LONELY : Yes, but where are you, Lady Space. I can't see you.
SPACE : You can't see me, but I'm here, all right. I'm everywhere.
I am space.
LONELY : Well, I don't care who you are, or where you are so long
as you talk to me. Say something more, anything.
SPACE : Of course. I want to help you.
LONELY: Then talk, talk!
SPACE : That's what I've been planning to do for a long time. You
see, I'm worried about you, Lonely Star. What you need is a
family.
LONELY : What kind of a family?
SPACE : A family of planets.
LONELY: What are they?
SPACE : Planets are pieces of a star.
LONELY: Gosh, where can I find any pieces of a star. The only
thing that ever comes around here is Charlie the Comet
SPACE : You don't find planets, you pull them off.
LONELY : Off of what? Show me and I'll start pulling.
SPACE : Off of yourself, silly. You're such a big ball of fire, you'd
never miss a few little flames.
LONELY: What do you think I am, anyway? Pulling off pieces of
myself !
SPACE : Oh, you don't do the pulling. Another star does that.
LONELY : Not if I can help it
SPACE: You can't help it. If another star comes near you, he's
going to pull off some of your fire whether you like it or not.
It's the law.
LONELY : What law, and who says so?
SPACE : I say so, and it's the Law of Gravity.
LONELY (Dismissing it airily) : Pooh ! Never heard of it.
SPACE : Well, you're going to. The Law of Gravity is the strongest
law in the sky. You see, every star has a magic power, the power
of pulling. When one star crosses the path of another, they pull
at each other, across the sky, hard.
LONELY : Sounds crazy to me.
SPACE: Youll soon find out it isn't crazy. Sometimes two stars
208 CHILDREN OF THE SUN
actually pull themselves together in an awful collision. Sometimes
one star pulls another all to bits. Such an explosion you never
heard when a star blows up in bits. But most of the time one of
the stars just loses some pieces of itself. These are pulled off
and form planets.
LONELY : So that's how it's done. No thank you ! Gravity, explo-
sions, pulling off a piece here, a piece there. Not on your life !
Go talk to some other star.
SPACE : Well, that's what is going to happen to you, because I say
so. Goodbye...
LONELY: Hey, where are you going?
SPACE : To find another star and bring him here.
LONELY (Alarmed) : Oh no you're not !
SPACE : You wanted people to talk to. Well you're going to get
them. Nine of them. Nine little planets all of your own.
Good bye.
LONELY: Hey, come back! (Bellowing) Lady Space! Come back!
I don't want to blow up !
SPACE (Far away) : Good luck, and don't worry.
LONELY (To himself) : Don't worry, she says. Don't worry!
(Tearfully) Oh golly me. . . oh golly me! (He pantomimes dur-
ing the following.)
PROF. (Coming forward) : Well, the years rolled by, and Lonely
Star kept whirling on and on through the empty sky. And
then... one day... he noticed that one of the far-away stars
seemed to be getting bigger and brighter. Yes. . .another star
was coming nearer. . .and nearer
LONELY (Shrinking in anguish) : Do we bump, or do we burst?
Oh, Lady Space, help me ! (Sobs) I don't want to blow up.
(He hides his face in his cape, sobbing.)
TROF. : And Lady Space did help poor Lonely Star. But first the
new star kept coming ever nearer. . .and nearer
LONELY (Gingerly peeping from behind his cape) : It's still com-
ing. . . (With a feeble gesture) Go away, you. . .go away. . .
(He groans and hides his head again., .weakly) Help...
help... !
PROF.: And then. . .suddenly. . .the approaching star turned off in
a different direction. Lady Space had sent another star... a
third star. . .and this third star was pulling the second one away.
Lonely Star was saved! But. . .just before the star turned away,
he gave one — big — pull. . .and. . .
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 209
LONELY (Jumping) : Waaaa! (MERCURY, who has remained per-
fectly still up to now, back to audience, turns quickly, and waves
his ribbon round and round.)
MERCURY (Spinning) : Wheeeeee ! Pop ! Look at me !
VENUS : Pop ! (She waves her ribbon happily.)
EARTH: Pop! (She waves her ribbon happily.)
MARS: Pop! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
JUPITER: Pop! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
SATURN: Pop! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
NEPTUNE : Pop ! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
URANUS : Pop ! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
PLUTO (With a snarl) : Pop! (He waves his ribbon happily.)
ALL: Whirl. . . whirl. . . whirl! Now we are free! (They stop
their ribbons.)
LONELY (Sticking his head out again) : What's all that racket?
(He listens for a moment.) Don't hear anything now. (He
looks off after the vanishing star.) Say, look at that, would you?
It's going away. Yes, sir, it's going away. (Wiping his brow)
Phew ! That was a close one. But say . . . (He starts feeling him-
self f slowly all over.) Say. . . I seem to have shrunk. What's
happened to me? I'm smaller. (The planets giggle. LONELY
STAR stiffens, his eyes wide with alarm. Then, very slowly he
looks furtively over his right shoulder. The planets on that side
grin impishly and wave their ribbons at him. Still very slowly
he peers over his left shoulder. The planets there wave gleefully.
Then staring straight at the audience, he slaps his forehead) Do
you see what /see?
PLANETS: Hello daddy! (They join hands and dance around him,
singing)
Here we go round our daddy dear,
Daddy dear,
Daddy dear,
Here we go round our daddy dear,
So early in the morning. Boom!
(They all sit down, kerplunk, in a circle.)
LONELY (Staring at them with a forced smile) : Well, well, well !
So. . . ! So, you're my little. . . uh. . . little children, eh? (The
PLANETS giggle to one another.) Hmmm. (To audience) I don't
know whether I'm going to like this. (The PLANETS giggle.)
What am I going to do with them? (The PLANETS giggle.
210 CHILDREN OF THE SUN
LONELY calls out.) Lady Space! Lady Space!
SPACE (Offstage as before) : Yes. What is it?
LONELY : Now that I've got them, how do I get rid of them ?
SPACE : You can't. They're yours forever.
PLANETS : Yippee !
LONELY: But what can I do with them?
SPACE : Talk to them. Isn't that what you wanted — someone to
talk to?
LONELY : But I didn't want a lot of kids.
SPACE (Carelessly) : Oh, they'll grow up. Their fires will go out,
and they'll cool off. And it will be up to you to keep them warm
when that happens, Mr. Sun.
LONELY: What did you call me?
SPACE : Mr. Sun. That's your new name now that you're a father.
JUPITER (Standing) : Three cheers for Father Sun ! Hip — hip —
ALL: Hurray! (They finish the cheering ; the "tiger" bringing
down the house. JUPITER sits.)
MERCURY (Clapping his hands) : Tell us a story, daddy.
ALL (Chanting) : We-want-a-stor-ee. . . we want-a-store-ee. . .
SUN (Rapidly going mad) : Silence!
ALL (Shushing one another noisily) : Ssh. . .ssh. . .ssh. . .ssh. . .
SUN (Raising his clenched fists to heaven and screaming) :
Eeeeeee! (The planets are silenced by this demonstration and
look at him in alarm.)
MERCURY: What's the matter, pop?
SUN (Through set teeth) : Good grief! I might have known some-
thing like this would happen. (Calling off again) Are you still
here, Lady Space?
SPACE : I'm always here.
SUN : Well, tell me. How long is it going to take them to cool off
and grow up?
SPACE: Millions and millions and millions of years. (The SUN
gives a howl and faints, as CHARLIE the Comet enters with a
whiz and a hiss as before.)
CHAMJE: What's all this? What's all this? What's all this?
PLANETS: Hello there!
CHARLIE (Running around the circle) : What's going on? What's
going on? What's going on?
SUN (Staggering to his feet) : Charlie. . . Charlie. . . I want you
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 211
to meet. . . (He gulps) . . . my family. Children dear, this is
Charlie the Comet.
PLANETS : Pleased to meet you, Uncle Charlie.
CHARLIE (For the first time in his life he is brought to a stop. He
even speaks slowly) : Well, I'll be blowed ! Ill be blowed ! I'll be
Mowed! How did it happen?
SUN (Morosely) : Gravity.
CHARLIE: What is gravity?
SUN : Don't ask me. All I know is it works.
CHARLIE (Shaking his head) : Too bad, old man. Well. . . (He
starts off again) Gotta be off . . . Gotta be off . . . Gotta be off.
(He exits with a final whizs. The planets join hands again and
dance around the SUN singing.)
PLANETS:
Here we go round our daddy dear,
Daddy dear,
Daddy dear.
Here we go round our daddy dear,
Forever and forever. BOOM ! (They all sit down as before. The
SUN gazes into the distance, a broken man.)
SUN : Forever. . .and. . .forever. . .boom ! (The pose is held. The
PROFESSOR rises and comes forward.)
PROF. : Well, there you are, boys and girls. That's the way I imag-
ine the solar system was made. Any more questions?
JEAN : What are the planets' names ?
JENNY : And which is the biggest?
JIM : Is the Earth the biggest, sir?
PROF. : I think 111 let them answer you. (He claps his hands. The
PLANETS rise and take their original positions, the SUN step-
ping into line between VENUS and MERCURY.) Let's start with
the one we know best, our own Earth.
EARTH (A self-satisfied girl, stepping forward a pace) : Good
morning, boys and girls. Everybody knows me, so there's not
much sense in my telling you my name and all that, but. . .
JUPITER: Anyway she hasn't any name. '(He snickers in his sleeve.)
EARTH (A bit annoyed) : Well no, I haven't a real name like
Jupiter here and the rest of them, but then I am called the Earth
or The World, as you all know, and that's good enough for me.
But even if I haven't any name, I'm still the most important
member of the family.
212 CHILDREN OF THE SUN
THE REST (Outraged) : Hey!
EARTH : I am too. I'm the only one of you that has any life. The
rest of you are too cold or too hot or too something. Nobody
could live on you. (Smugly) I'm just right
JUPITER (Irritatingly) : Somebody asked if you were the biggest
planet Go on. . .tell them. . *
EARTH (Reluctantly) : Well, no-o. . .I'm one of the smallest, real-
ly. (With an illustrative gesture) I'm only 25 thousand miles
through my middle.
JUPITER (With a flat-handed gesture of scorn) : And that's
nothing.
EARTH : All of us travel around the Sun, and it takes me 365 days
to make the trip.
JUPITER: And that's nothing either. It takes me 12 years... 12
years!
EARTH: Oh take your old twelve years, Jupiter. Who cares?
(Steps back.)
MERCURY (A small boy coming forward) : Well, I make the trip
in only 88 days. They call me Mercury because I travel so fast.
JUPITER: You don't travel so fast. You haven't so far to go, that's
all.
MERCURY: Want to race?
JUPITER (Wearily) : Not now. Get on with your story.
MERCURY: You see, I'm nearest to the Sun, which makes me the
hottest of the planets. Am I hot! Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle and a. . .
(He gives a whistle) I am also the smallest of the family. . .
half the size of the Earth, but then size isn't everything. (To
VENUS) Next. . . (During the preceding speech VENUS has been
arranging her hair with the aid of a hand mirror.)
VENUS: Just a second.
JUPITER: Come on, you look beautiful.
VENUS: There! (A final pat) My name is Venus. Everybody ad-
mires the way I shine low down in the sky just after sunset.
JUPITER: Everybody, including yourself.
SUN: Now, that's enough, Jupiter. Mind your manners before
strangers.
JUPITER: Okay, pop.
VENUS: No telescope has ever seen my face, because I keep it hid-
den behind thick clouds.
JUPITER: Thank goodness!
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 213
SUN (Thundering): Silence!
JUPITER (Cowed) : Yes, father.
VENUS (To her father) : That's right, shut him up. You'd think
he owns the whole sky, the way he talks.
SUN : Now, now, don't quarrel, my child.
VENUS: Well, can I help it if Fm pretty? (JUPITER chokes on a
suppressed laugh.)
SUN (More sternly) : Continue, daughter. . .and don't be so vain.
VENUS (Tossing her curls) : Well, I'm about the same size as the
Earth, but I am much nearer the Sun. It takes me only 225 days
to make the round trip. And I am named after the most beautiful
of all goddesses, Venus, goddess of love. So there ! (She steps
back after making a face at JUPITER who makes one right back.)
MARS (Advancing) : I am the planet that shines red in the sky. . .
(Fiercely) red as blood. . .and I am named after Mars. . .fierce
Mars, god of war and bloodshed.
JUPITER: Just call him Butch.
MARS (Gives a glare at his brother, and continues) : And though
I'm little, I'm afraid of no one, for I am hard and tough as a
soldier. (Pointing his remarks at JUPITER) No sir, — I'm afraid
of no one.
JUPITER (Yawns) : Ho hum!
MARS (To him fiercely) : And that goes for you, too.
JUPITER: Ahhh! You little babies! You make me laugh. Why,
you're no bigger than the point of a pin beside me. (Witharoar)
For I am Jupiter the Giant, king of the gods ! Look at me ! Take
a thousand planets the size of the Earth, roll them all into one
ball, and I could swallow them whole. . .swallow them whole.
EARTH (Controlling her temper) : Now, just a minute, there. You
may be a thousand times bigger than I am, but what use are
you? Answer me that. What use are you?
JUPITER (Swelling with rage) : What do you mean?
EARTH : Does anything grow on you? Any plants or animals?
JUPITER : Who wants a lot of plants and animals crawling all over
him? No, not me! I want to be by myself and sail around the
Sun. Anyway, I'm too cold. (Proudly) Why I'd freeze any ani-
mal to death who came within a million miles of me. That's the
kind of a fellow / am — huge and freezing and fierce and alone !
EARTH : Exactly I A great, big, frozen lump of uselessness !
JUPITER: Why, you. . .If you weren't a girl, I'd. . .
214 CHILDREN OF TEE SUN
SUN : That will do, children.
JUPITER: But she can't get away with that
SUN (Angrily) : I said, that will do! (JUPITER growls and steps
back into line) Saturn, you're next
SATURN (A tall girl) : I am the last planet you can see with the
naked eye. And I am the strangest of all, for I am Saturn, the
planet who wears three rings. That is what I look like through a
telescope (She points to a picture which the PROFESSOR has
taken from the desk and displayed) No boy or girl could live on
me, for my air is poison. And if anyone tried to walk on me, he
would sink right in and vanish in cold, cold ooze. Stay away
from me ! (Eerily) Stay away from me ! (She returns to her
position.)
URANUS (Stepping forward) : Uranus.
NEPTUNE (Stepping forward) : Neptune.
TOGETHER: We are the heavenly twins.
URANUS : We are so far away.
NEPTUNE : That we can't be seen.
TOGETHER : Except through a big telescope.
URANUS : We are much bigger than the Earth,
NEPTUNE : And we are made of gas —
TOGETHER: Just two big spheres of gas, billions of miles away
from the Sun.
URANUS : And if you think Jupiter is cold,
NEPTUNE : Or if you think Saturn is cold,
TOGETHER : Just you visit us !
NEPTUNE : Neptune.
URANUS : Uranus.
TOGETHER (Shivering) : Brrrrrrrrrr! (They go back.)
PLUTO (Creeps forward wickedly, and speaks in a hollow voice) :
And now it's my turn. Gloomy Pluto! Gloomy Pluto! The
farthest planet, and the da — arkestl I am so far away from the
Sun that he seems no bigger than a little star to me, and lights
me not at all. On me all is black. . .blacker than a grave. . .
blacker than a hundred midnights. For I am dead. . .dark and
distant and dead. Gloomy Pluto! I am named after the black
god of Hell! (He gives a maniacal laugh.)
JUPITER (To audience) : Aw, don't be scared of him. He thinks
he's a bogey-man, but he's really just a little fellow and couldn't
hurt a flea.
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 215
PLUTO (In his own piping voice) : I could so. I can scare the day-
lights out of anybody. Why I even scare the daylights out of my-
self. (PLANETS laugh boisterously.)
PROF. (Coming forward with a laugh) : Thank you, thank you all.
We have enjoyed your little. . .uh. . .demonstration very much.
(He leads the class in applause as the PLANETS dance off.)
PLANETS (As they go) : Good bye, all.
CLASS : Goodbye. . .goodbye. . .
PROF.: And now, any further questions? I have time for just one
more.
JIM : Only one? Aw, gee !
JOHN : We're having fun.
JOAN : Please, sir, Jenny has a question.
PROF.: Yes, Jenny?
JENNY : Professor Stellar, could you tell us how long it would take
an airplane to fly from the Sun to the farthest planet?
JOE: Yes, a fast plane. . .a big bomber.
PROF.: From the Sun to Pluto, eh? Well, well see what we can
do. (He claps his hands. The PILOT and the two CHART BEARERS
enter, the latter unrolling a long scroll that shows the planets in
the order of their distance from the SUN. The PILOT carries a
small model plane.) Of course, you realize that no airplane could
fly even from the earth to the moon. But let's suppose any-
way, . . .Are you ready, Pilot?
PILOT: All set.
PROF. : Then, let fer go. (The PILOT places his plane over the SUN.
The CHART BEARERS make lip noises imitating the starting of a
plane.)
PILOT : We'll pretend that this bomber can fly 500 miles an hour.
At that speed it could fly around the world in a little over two
days. We'll also pretend that it starts out on the very day you
were born. (He "takes off9 with accompanying noises from the
others.) Here we go, and you're one day old. (Moving the plane
very slowly) Now you're one year old. , .two years old. . .three
years old. . .four years. . .five. . .six There ! We're just
getting to Mercury, and you're going to school for the first time.
Remember, that day in Grade One? Let's travel on. Seven
years . . . eight years . . . nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen-f ourteen-
fifteen. What's that down there? Yes, sir, it's Venus. You're
fifteen years old now, and carrying your best girl's books to high
216 CHILDREN OF THE SUN
school. On we go ! My how time flies I (The "engine" develops a
little trouble) Oh-oh! That No. 2 engine is coughing a bit.
Thank goodness, here's the Earth and a good landing field.
Down we go. (The plane stops with a final sputter.)
JEAN : Please, Mr. Pilot, how old are we now?
PILOT : You've just come of age.
JEAN : You mean 21 years old?
PILOT : That's right. You're beginning to think of getting married.
JEAN : Not me.
PILOT (Laughs) : Well, we're off again. (The sound accompani-
ment from the CHART BEARERS is renewed) 22 — 25 — 28 —
30 years old. Now we're passing Mars and you've discovered
your first grey hair. And here comes middle age. 40 years . . .
SO. . .60. . .Look out for your rheumatism here, — it's getting
pretty cold. 70 years .. .80 — 90 — 100. You're so old now you
have your picture in all the papers. 110 years. . .There's Jupiter
. . .and you're dead. Too bad. On we go, dead or alive. Come
on there; speed up a bit or well never make it. (The CHART
BEARERS sharpen the pitch of their humming accompaniment)
That's better ; now we're travelling. Whoops ! There goes Sa-
turn. 200 years, 300 — 350 — 400 years. Now we've passed
Uranus and are heading for Neptune. 500 years (One of
the CHART BEARERS begins to sputter imitating engine trouble.)
Now listen, you, don't be silly. There's not a landing field within
a billion miles. You've got to go on whether you sputter or not.
CHART BEARER : But, gee whizz, boss, I'm tired. 500 years !
PILOT: It's 600 now. (Suddenly) Hey, watch out there! We
almost hit Neptune. (The plane zooms frantically away, then
rights itself.) Now. . . tend to business. But say! Do you see
what I see? There's Pluto ! At last. . .at last. . .at last. . .AH out
for Pluto! (The plane comes in wheezing and puffing. After a
final gasp and blow, the CHART BEARERS start fanning them-
selves) Quite a journey, eh, Professor Stellar? How long did we
take?
PROF. : 889 years.
PILOT: And what's the mileage? My speedometer gave out a
while back.
PROF. : 350 million miles.
PILOT : Golly ! That must be a record. (He rubs his hands proudly.)
PROF.: Nonsense! As Jupiter says (Repeating the gesture
CHILDREN OF THE SUN 217
JUPITER made) . . . 'That's nothing."
PILOT : What do you mean, nothing. . . ?
PROF. : Suppose we'd asked you to travel on to the nearest star. . .
do you know how long it would have taken you?
PILOT: No, but I'm game.
PROF. : You'd have to travel for 5 million years.
PILOT (Stunned) : 5 million years !
PROF. : And that's only to the nearest star. Don't ask me how long
it would take to fly to the farthest star. Nobody could even count
that many years. Nobody.
PILOT (With a yawn) : Well. . .guess I'd better be getting back.
It's been a long trip.
PROF. (Consulting his watch) : Yes. It's getting late. (Turning
to the class) Well. . .boys and girls. I hope you've enjoyed your-
selves and. . . (He suddenly notices that the class is asleep) My
goodness! They're all asleep. (Going to the CHAIRMAN and
shaking him) Mr. Chairman. . .Mr. Chairman. . .
CHAIRMAN (Mumbling in his sleep) : 20 years. . .30 years. . .40
years ... 50 years . . . (And so on till end of play.)
PROF. : That trip to Pluto was too much for them, I guess. (He
takes out a handkerchief and places it over the CHAIRMAN'S face.
The CHART BEARERS have rolled up their scroll.) There! That
will keep the flies away. Now let's go before they wake up and
ask any more questions. (They all tiptoe out, saying, Ssnl
Ssht")
THE END
ALL IN FAVOR
by Morton K. Schwartz
* Characters
EDDIE
NANCY
SIDNEY
HARRIET
TOM
DOROTHY
ALVIN
TIME: A summer afternoon.
SETTING : A backyard, just outside a shack — the Aces' clubhouse.
AT RISE: NANCY, a neatly-dressed girl of about 18, is patiently
leaning against the wall of the shack, next to the door. Presently
EDDIE, a little boy of about 10, comes walking on.
EDDIE: Hello, Nancy.
NANCY: Hello.
EDDIE: What are you doing?
NANCY: Can't you see? I'm standing here waiting. (She is
annoyed.)
EDDIE : Oh. (He moves next to NANCY, and leans on the wall the
way she is doing.) What are you waiting for?
NANCY : We're having a meeting.
EDDIE: Who's having a meeting?
NANCY : We . . . our club.
EDDIE: What club?
NANCY : The Aces.
EDDIE: How soon does it begin?
NANCY (Annoyed) : Why don't you stop bothering me, Eddie ?
You have your own friends to play with.
EDDIE: I can't find any of them.
218
ALL IN FAVOR 219
NANCY : Then play ball or something. I'm busy.
EDDIE: You won't be busy till the meeting begins, will you?
NANCY : It's going on right now.
EDDIE: Where?
NANCY: In the clubhouse, of course. (She motions back to it.)
EDDIE: Well, if the meeting is going on in the clubhouse, how
come you're out here?
NANCY : Because this is my first meeting, and I have to be elected
to the club. Now stop asking questions.
EDDIE: Then you're not in the club yet?
NANCY : I told you to stop asking questions !
EDDIE: That wasn't a question. I just said "then you're not in
the club yet"
NANCY: Well, you said it with a rising inflection, and that makes
it a question.
EDDIE: What's a rising inflection?
NANCY : It's a rising tone in your voice when you ask a question
— and anyway I said I won't answer any more questions, so
I won't tell you.
EDDIE: All right then, I'll just say it plain — you're not in the
club yet.
NANCY: That's right. But I will be in it in about five minutes,
because they're electing me right now.
EDDIE : Maybe they won't let you in.
NANCY : Don't be silly. Of course they will.
EDDIE: I don't see how you can tell beforehand.
NANCY: I only need a majority tp vote for me. There are only
five kids in the club, so all I need is three votes.
EDDIE: Maybe you won't get three.
NANCY: Of course I will. Why, three of the kids are my best
friends. There's Harriet, Sidney, and Tom. They'll all vote
for me, I'm certain. That makes a majority without even count-
ing the other two.
EDDIE: Then I guess you'll get in. Can I join the club?
NANCY (Impatiently) : Of course not!
EDDIE: Why not?
NANCY : You're too young. And you have different friends.
EDDIE : I know Harriet, and Sidney and Tom , . . and you. You'll
vote for me, won't you?
NANCY : Well . . . yes, I would vote for you. But you wouldn't
220 ALL IN FAVOR
be elected anyway, because the others wouldn't.
EDDIE: I think I would. When you get inside, tell them that I
want to join. (There is the sound of movement inside the club-
room. NANCY stands and straightens her dress. In a few mo-
ments, SIDNEY opens the door, steps out, and closes the door
behind him. SIDNEY is about the same age as NANCY.)
NANCY; Hello, Sidney. Is the voting done yet?
SIDNEY (Hesitantly) : Er . . . yes, Nancy . . . yes, it's done.
NANCY: Let's go inside then. (She starts in.)
EDDIE: Don't forget I want to join, Nancy.
SIDNEY (Keeping NANCY back) : Er . . . wait a second, Nancy.
There's er . . . something I want to talk to you about
NANCY (Wonderingly) : Why . . . what is it, Sidney?
SIDNEY : Well, er . . . it's about, er . . .
NANCY (Noticing that EDDIE is listening) : Go away, Eddie !
(EDDIE doesn't move.) Eddie! I said go away! Sidney has
something to tell me. It might be some secret rules of the club
or something, and you're not supposed to hear. (EDDIE moves
a step or two away, but remains in earshot.)
SIDNEY: Er . . . no, Nancy ... it isn't about the rules.
NANCY: What is it then?
SIDNEY: It's about the vote. I have to explain . . .
NANCY: Isn't the vote done? Do you have to vote again?
SIDNEY : Yes, yes . . . it's done. I want to explain the way it came
out You see ... er, ...
NANCY (Joyfully) : Was I elected unanimously?
SIDNEY: Er, no . . no, Nancy . . . not exactly. That is ... you
weren't elected . . .
NANCY: Unanimously?
SIDNEY: No, no ... you weren't elected ... er ... at all. (NANCY
is dumbfounded.) What I mean to say is that . . . you, er . . .
didn't get in.
NANCY (Astounded) : Didn't get in!
SIDNEY: No, no ... you, er . . . you see, you didn't receive a
majority of the votes.
NANCY: B-but . . . th-that's impossible! You . . . y-you must
have counted them incorrectly ... or gotten them mixed up or
something! It's . . . it's impossible!
SIDNEY : We counted them a few times. That's the way it came
out
ALL IN FAVOR 221
NANCY : B-but ... I only needed three votes to get in, isn't that
right?
SIDNEY : Yes, that's right. I guess you ... er ... you didn't get
the three, that's all. (Hastily) Of course / voted for you; you
know that. / tried to get you in. I spoke for you and every-
thing . . . but, well ... the others, I guess.
NANCY: B-but . . . how many votes did I get?
SIDNEY (Quickly) : Oh, you almost made it You were barely
one vote shy, that's all. Only one vote. You needed three and
you got ... er ... two . . . just one short, that's all.
NANCY (A catch in her voice) : C-couldn't you do something . . .
make an exception or . . . ?
SIDNEY : We'd like to, Nancy, honestly. But you know how those
things are. It would be all right with me, of course . . . but
the others . . . you know how it is.
NANCY (Near tears) : Well . . . well . . .
SIDNEY : I'm really sorry, Nancy, honestly. Well . . . have to, er,
get back inside . . . meeting going on. See you later, Nancy.
(He starts for the clubhouse door.)
NANCY (Barely keeping back her tears) : Sidney . . .
SIDNEY : Yes, Nancy ? Glad to do anything for you.
NANCY: C-could you ask Harriet to come out?
SIDNEY : I'll try, Nancy . . . but the meeting is going on ... I'll
tell her, and she'll probably be able to come out in a few minutes,
if you want to wait.
NANCY: All right. Tell her to try to make it as soon as she can.
And . . . thanks for voting for me and everything.
SIDNEY: Oh, er . . . sure, Nancy. I certainly wanted you in the
dub. (He exits into the clubhouse. A moment or two later,
NANCY bursts into tears, and covers her mouth and nose with a
handkerchief as she cries.)
EDDIE (After a while) : I told you.
NANCY (Sobbing) : Go away.
EDDIE: Now you're not going to the meeting.
NANCY: Go away.
EDDIE : Do you want to play ball with me?
NANCY (Still sobbing) : No.
EDDIE: Do you think I'll be elected to the club now?
NANCY (Sobbing and angry) : No I
EDDIE : I guess they won't even vote for me. (Pauses) Are you
going to try to get in again next week?
222 ALL IN FAVOR
NANCY: No.
EDDIE: The week after?
NANCY: No. (Wipes tears from her eyes with handkerchief.
After a few moments silence, the door to the clubhouse opens,
and HARRIET slips out — and shuts the door again.) Harriet !
HARRIET: I'm ... I'm awfully sorry, Nancy. Sidney told you
what happened, didn't he?
NANCY : Y-yes . . . b-b-but . . .
HARRIET: You just missed by one vote. Of course 7 voted for
you. You know that.
NANCY: Yes, Harriet . . . b-but . . .
HARRIET : It was the others, I guess . . .
NANCY : It couldn't have been a mistake . • . ?
HARRIET : I, er . . . I thought it was at first . . . and we recounted
the votes. But it was correct the first time . . . you only had
two votes. I really thought you were going to get many more
than that, but. . .well, I don't know what happened. Of course
. . . you know we only have a small clubhouse and everything . . .
and maybe some of the members figured . . . well, you know.
(NANCY sobs and cries) You . . . er, you don't feel bad, do you?
NANCY (Through tears) : N-no. I d-don't mind.
HARRIET: We're having a party at my house this Saturday,
and . . .
NANCY: Y-your house?
HARRIET (Hastily) : Well . . . I'm not giving it myself . . . it's
the club. And only the members can come . . .
NANCY : Oh. (More tears)
HARRIET: Er . . . how about ... er ... how about going to the
movies with me later today?
NANCY : N-no thanks. I'm going home.
HARRIET: All right. Well, I better get back to the meeting. See
you later, Nancy. (She exits into the clubhouse.)
EDDIE (After a pause) : Nancy . . . (She doesn't answer)
Nancy . . .
NANCY (After a little while) : What? (She wipes tears from
her eyes.)
EDDIE : Why don't we start a club ?
NANCY : I don't want to be in any club. I never want to be in one.
EDDIE : You felt just the opposite five minutes ago.
NANCY: I changed my mind.
ALL IN FAVOR 223
EDDIE (After a silence) : How do you start a club?
NANCY : Oh ... I don't know exactly. You get a few people to-
gether and start one.
EDDIE: How many people?
NANCY : I don't know. (Sobbing) Can't you stop asking me silly
questions ?
EDDIE: Is three enough?
NANCY: I suppose so. There's no exact amount.
EDDIE: Is two enough?
NANCY (Impatiently) : Any amount is enough!
EDDIE: How about one?
NANCY : Let me alone.
EDDIE: I guess one is enough too, then. I guess I could start a
dub myself.
NANCY : Do anything you please.
EDDIE (After thinking for a few moments) : I'm starting a club.
Do you want to be in it, Nancy?
NANCY: No.
EDDIE : Well, I'm in it. That makes one. Let's see ... I guess
I'm president.
NANCY: Go away.
EDDIE: Does the president decide when there are going to be
meetings ? (No answer) Nancy . . . does the president . . .
NANCY (Angrily) : Yes, yes! Can't you be still? (Sobs a bit.)
EDDIE: Well, let's see ... (Ponders) I think I'll have a meeting.
(Thinks another moment.) Nancy, you'll have to go away. Only
members can attend meetings.
NANCY: Go away yourself. (EDDIE thinks again, and then moves
a few steps away and sits down, to start his "meeting." After
a short silence, the clubroom door opens again, and TOM
emerges, shutting the door after him.)
TOM: Hello, Nancy.
NANCY: Hello.
TOM : Did they tell you what happened?
NANCY (Sulkily) : Yes.
TOM : It's really a shame. Of course, / voted for you. I thought
you would surely be elected.
NANCY: Thanks, Tom.
TOM : You only missed by one vote, you know. I thought maybe
we could make an exception, but you know how clubs are ...
224 ALL IN FAVOR
NANCY (Sobs) : Yes.
TOM : We're having a picnic Sunday . . . would you like to ...
er . . .
NANCY: No.
TOM : Well, all right. They probably wouldn't want anyone who
wasn't a member to come along anyway. Well, . . . (Awkward-
ly) I'll . . . I'll see you later. Have to get back to the meeting . . .
(He goes back into the clubhouse.)
EDDIE (Getting up and coming over to NANCY after a pause) :
Nancy ... I have good news for you. (No answer) You were
just elected to my club.
NANCY : I don't want to be in your club.
EDDIE: You have to be. You were elected. (No answer) You
were barely elected by one vote. But it was a majority, and
you're a member.
NANCY (Dryly) : That's good.
EDDIE: And you got in unan . . . unanimous ... ly ... (He has
trouble pronouncing it.) ... by one vote. (NANCY says nothing)
Now there are two members in my club. (A pause) Nancy . . .
NANCY: What?
EDDIE: Am I still the president?
NANCY : If you want to be.
EDDIE : All right. You're the vice-president. Should we have any
treasurer?
NANCY : You don't need a treasurer.
EDDIE : But my father is in a club, and they have a treasurer. My
father is the treasurer.
NANCY: You don't need a treasurer unless there's some money.
EDDIE: What's the treasurer's job? To spend the money?
NANCY: He keeps the money. That's what a treasurer is for,
EDDIE: Well, whose money is it?
NANCY : The club's money.
EDDIE: Where are we going to get money?
NANCY : We're not going to get any.
EDDIE: Do you think we'll need a treasurer then? (Their con-
versation is interrupted by noises coming from inside the club-
house. There is a sound of moving benches, and then a pound-
ing of a gavel. Then TOM'S voice is heard saying "Meeting
adjourned." There is more scraping of benches, and the door
ALL IN FAVOR 225
opens and SIDNEY emerges. A moment later HARRIET and TOM
step out.)
SIDNEY (Seeing NANCY) : Oh hello, Nancy. Are you still here?
NANCY: Yes.
SIDNEY: We ... er ... just finished our meeting.
HARRIET: Nancy . . . we decided you can come to the party
Saturday night. Er . . . a couple of the other kids won't be
able to be there.
NANCY : I . . . I'm not coming.
TOM : But it's all right, Nancy, even if you aren't a member.
NANCY: Thanks, but I can't
SIDNEY (To HARRIET) : Never mind, Harriet — we'll have enough.
HARRIET: Well . . .
TOM (To HARRIET and SIDNEY) : Let's go to the drugstore and
have a soda.
SIDNEY: All right. Come on.
HARRIET (To NANCY) : You can come with us if you want to,
Nancy.
NANCY: No ... I have to go home. (She barely keeps from
crying.)
HARRIET: Well . . . 'bye, Nancy.
NANCY: Goodbye.
TOM and SIDNEY: Goodbye, Nancy. (HARRIET, TOM and SIDNEY
exit to one side.)
EDDIE (After the three are off) : If they don't want you in the
club, why do they want you to have a soda with them?
NANCY: But they do want me. They're my friends. Harriet,
Tom and Sidney voted for me.
EDDIE: Didn't you only get two votes?
NANCY: Yes . . .
EDDIE: Then how could they all have voted for you? Harriet,
Tom and Sidney make three.
NANCY (Counting on her fingers) : Harriet . . . Tom . . . Sidney.
EDDIE: See? Three.
NANCY: But ... but you heard what they said, didn't you? They
all wanted me in the club. (At this point, DOROTHY and ALVIN,
the other two club members, are coming out of the door of the
clubhouse.)
DOROTHY : Oh . . . there she is, Alvin.
ALVIN : Hello ... er ... what was your name again?
226 ALL IN FAVOR
NANCY (Turning) : Nancy.
DOROTHY: Oh, that's right. Where do you live?
NANCY: On Jay Street. Near the school.
DOROTHY: Oh.
ALVIN : Are you going to be at the party Saturday night?
NANCY : No. Only club members can attend.
DOROTHY: Well, Alvin and I aren't going.
NANCY: You're not?
ALVIN : No. We had a big argument just before, in the meeting.
We didn't like that rule.
NANCY: Oh.
DOROTHY (To NANCY) : I'm sorry you didn't get in the club.
You seem like a nice girl.
NANCY : I . . . only got two votes.
ALVIN: Don't you have any friends in the club that you know?
Don't you know Harriet, or Sidney, or Tom?
NANCY: I know all three of them. They're all my friends.
DOROTHY: All? I don't see how that could be. You only need
three votes to get in.
NANCY : Well . . . Harriet said she voted for me. And so did Tom,
and so did Sidney. That's three right there. (She sobs a bit
again) But I only got two.
DOROTHY (Surprised) : But I voted for you !
ALVIN : And so did I !
DOROTHY: Even though we never met you before, Alvin and I
both thought you seemed like a nice girl, and would be a good
member for the dub ; and we voted for you.
NANCY: B-but . . .
ALVIN : Why, I counted the votes myself. Here . . . ! (He reaches
into a pocket) I crushed them up and put them into my pocket.
(He pulls out the votes and smoothes them open one by one)
Here's mine ... see? We put our initials on them. A.H. It says
"yes.'* (NANCY looks over ALTON'S shoulder and nods.) And
here's another "yes."
DOROTHY: That's mine! Those are my initials— D.M.
ALVIN: And these other three are "No's." Tom, Harriet and
Sidney wrote those.
NANCY: Then none of them voted for me! And they all said
they did!
ALVIN: Gosh!
ALL IN FAVOR 227
DOROTHY : That was certainly mean of them !
ALVIN (To Dorothy) : You know, Dorothy, I think I'm going to
quit the Aces. I'm sorry we started the club with them. We
ought to have a club with some other kids, like Nancy.
DOROTHY : That's a good idea. Do you want to start a dub with
us, Nancy?
NANCY : Why, I guess I ...
EDDIE (To ALVIN and DOROTHY) : Wait a minute! She can't be
in your club !
DOROTHY: Why not?
EDDIE: She's already in one. She's in my club. She was elected
at the last meeting!
DOROTHY: Oh.
ALVIN (Not giving NANCY a chance to speak) : Well, why don't
we join their club, Dorothy?
DOROTHY : All right Let's do that
EDDIE: Wait a minute. . .you can't just "join." We have to elect
you at a meeting.
ALVIN: When is your next meeting?
EDDIE: Whenever I decide. I'm the president, you see. Now. . .
let me see ... I think we'll have one right away. Come on, Nancy.
(He pulls NANCY into the clubhouse.)
NANCY: But Eddie!
EDDIE (Pulling her along) : Hurry up ... we have te vote. (He
gets her inside and shuts the door. ALVIN and DOROTHY stand
by and look on curiously. In a moment, NANCY opens the club-
house door and pokes her head out.)
NANCY : You only got two votes.
EDDIE (Poking his head out beside NANCY'S) : You were elected
unan . . . unan . . . unanimous . . . ly. (He has the same trouble
pronouncing the word. ALVIN and DOROTHY look at each other,
and then happily start into the clubhouse as the curtain falls.)
THE END
TWIN COUSINS
by Morton K. Schwartz
Characters
EDDIE and FREDDIE, the twin cousins {played by one person)
DIANA
FRANCES
ARTHUR
BILL
SETTING : A street, in a quiet, residential section of a town. It is
a summer day.
AT RISE : EDDIE, DIANA and FRANCES are onstage. FRANCES is a
little younger than DIANA.
DIANA (As EDDIE seems inclined to walk off left") : Stay with us
for a while.
EDDIE: I have to meet my cousin at the railroad station.
FRANCES : We want to play something.
EDDIE: I don't think I have enough time. What do you want to
play?
DIANA : Rope the Steer.
EDDIE : What do you want to play that silly game for ?
FRANCES : We like it. We haven't enough kids for rope-skipping.
What else can you do with a rope than Rope the Steer? (She
holds up a long rope which she has coiled loosely around her
hand.)
EDDIE : You could rope each other, and then we wouldn't have so
many foolish girls around here.
DIANA : Don't be fresh or we won't play with you.
FRANCES : Neither will I.
DIANA (To FRANCES) : I already said "we."
FRANCES : Oh, I thought you meant us.
EDDIE : But the train comes in in about fifteen minutes.
DIANA: Well, play for a little while.
EDDIE: You can't really play "Rope the Steer" with three people.
228
TWIN COUSINS
229
You have to have a steer, a roper, two cowboys and the boss.
FRANCES : Oh, we can do without the cowboys.
DIANA: No. Eddie is right, Frances. (To EDDIE) We can get
two more.
EDDIE: Who are you going to get? Anyway I don't want to play.
DIANA (To FRANCES) : I told you Eddie would play. Who are
the two we can get?
FRANCES: I know one!
DIANA: I do too!
FRANCES : Then we don't need mine.
EDDIE (A bit exasperated) : No, Frances. Diana means she knows
one, too.
FRANCES (A little doubtfully) : Oh.
DIANA (To FRANCES) : Who are you thinking of?
FRANCES : Arthur. Which one — er — or two are you thinking
of?
DIANA : Only one. Bill. I saw him in his house just a few minutes
ago, and he isn't doing anything.
FRANCES: Arthur wasn't doing anything either.
DIANA: Good. Let's get them.
EDDIE: Wait a minute! You surely don't intend to get Arthur
and Bill to play in the same game, do you?
DIANA : Why not ! I know they hate each other, but . . .
EDDIE: Hate each other? They despise each other!
FRANCES: Gosh!
EDDIE : Do you know that Bill hates Arthur so much, that when-
ever Arthur gets within ten feet of him, Bill throws his hat on
the floor and stamps -on it?
FRANCES: Gosh!
EDDIE: And any time Bill gets within twenty feet of Arthur,
Arthur pulls his hair and yells, "Egad !"
DIANA : Oh, I think you're making all this up.
EDDIE : Just tiy getting Arthur and Bill into this game, and you'll
see.
DIANA: We may as well try, anyway. (To FRANCES) You get
Arthur. I'll get Bill. (To EDDIE, as FRANCES exits left, and
DIANA exits right) You stay right here! (EDDIE shrugs his
shoulders, and waits. He whistles a tune for a few seconds, and
then carefully adjusts his cap on his head, as if it had been
mussed. In a few seconds FRANCES and ARTHUR enter.)
230 TWIN COUSINS
ARTHUR: Hello Eddie. Where's Diana?
EDDIE: She'll be along soon, Arthur.
FRANCES : Yes, she just went to get B — er, that is, I mean —
she'll be along soon.
ARTHUR: Well, what are we going to play?
EDDIE: Rope the Steer.
ARTHUR: Don't we need five people for that? You have to have
two cowboys.
FRANCES: Oh, we'll have two cowboys all right. You'll be one,
and B — er — well, Diana will be along soon.
ARTHUR (To EDDIE) : Who's the other cowboy?
EDDIE: Well, er . . . you don't have any preference, do you?
ARTHUR: No, I don't care. But who is it?
EDDIE : After all, it doesn't make any difference. One player is as
good as another.
ARTHUR: Certainly. It doesn't matter. Who is it?
EDDIE (With forced casualness-) : Er — Bill.
ARTHUR (Growing livid) : Bill! That . . !! (He clenches and un-
clenches his fists in rage) That . . . . ! (Suddenly he stiffens.
He draws his chest up, and brings his hands toward and upward
to his head. Then he seizes his hair with both hands and utters
a vehement — ) Egad ! (Just as he says this, BILL and DIANA
enter from the right. BILL stops short as soon as he sees
ARTHUR.)
BILL: Arthur! (His face grows red with rage, and he too reaches
to his head for a hat he isn't wearing at the moment) What luck !
I went and left my hat home !
DIANA: Sayl What the matter with you two? Can't you two
make up? (ARTHUR and BILL turn haughtily away.) Can't we
play a simple game without you two boys going into tantrums ?
(No answer) We'll even put you on different ranches. (To
ARTHUR) You can be the X-bar-X, and Bill, j- ju can be the
Bar-X-Bar (No answer) Well? Can't you stop hating each
other.
BILL (Turning toward DIANA) : Well — maybe if we donl have
to talk to each other . . .
ARTHUR (To BILL) : I wouldn't talk to you anyway!
BILL (To ARTHUR) : And I wouldn't talk to you either, you —
you — dunce!
TWIN COUSINS 231
ARTHUR : You are talking to me now, you dunce !
BILL : And so are you to me !
FRANCES (To both of them, very reasonably): You see? You
boys can get along with each other when you want to.
EDDIE (To DIANA) : It's no use. I have to meet my cousin at the
station. I only have about five minutes now.
DIANA: What's the rush? You'd think the railroad station was a
mile away instead of right over there. (She nods toward the
left.)
FRANCES (As ARTHUR and BILL turn away, pouting) : Who is
this cousin of yours, Eddie?
EDDIE : You know him. His name is Freddie.
DIANA : Where does he live ?
EDDIE: Chicago.
FRANCES: And he's come all that distance to visit you?
EDDIE: Yes. We get together every year on our birthday.
DIANA: Our birthday? What do you mean, our birthday?
EDDIE: We're twins. We have the same birthday.
FRANCES : But you said cousins.
EDDIE: That's right. Twin cousins. (A train whistle blows)
There! Hear that? That's the train! I have to go! See you
later! (He exits hurriedly left.)
DIANA (To ARTHUR and BILL, after a pause) : Well, you can stop
arguing now. We can't play any more.
ARTHUR: Don't try to tell us when to argue!
BILL : That's right. We'll argue whenever we want to I
FRANCES (To DIANA) : Gosh! They agreed with one another!
ARTHUR and BILL: No, we didn't! (They both turn their backs
again.)
FRANCES (After a pause) : I wonder what Eddie meant about his
twin cousin.
DIANA : I'm sure I don't know. I never heard of such a thing.
FRANCES : Are they twins or are they cousins ?
DIANA: That's what I can't figure out. If they're cousins, then
they haven't the same parents. And if they haven't the same
parents, how can they be twins?
ARTHUR (Turning) : It's simple. He meant that they look alike,
that's what he meant. They're twins.
BILL (Turning) : No he didn't. He just meant that they have the
same birthday.
232 TWIN COUSINS
ARTHUR : Of course they have the same birthday if they're twins,
dizzy 1
BILL: Don't call me dizzy!
ARTHUR : I will if you are dizzy !
BILL: Well I'm not dizzy! They have the same birthday, so they're
twins. But that doesn't mean they're really real twins !
ARTHUR: Of course that's what it means ! That's just what twins
means ! Look in the dictionary if you don't believe it.
BILL: How could they look alike and have different parents? Tell
me that!
ARTHUR: I don't know how, but they do. (Train whistle blows
again.)
DIANA (To ARTHUR and BILL) : Stop arguing. We'll soon see
whether they look alike or not. The train just pulled out, and
they'll be coming this way soon. (All peer off left.)
FRANCES (After a pause) : Here comes Eddie now, with a suit-
case.
ARTHUR: Not so fast ! It might be his cousin.
BILL: Anybody can tell it's Eddie. (In a moment, EDDIE enters,
carrying a suitcase.)
ALL: Where's your twin cousin?
EDDIE: He'll be along. He had to check some baggage.
FRANCES : Eddie, did you mean that your cousin looked like . . .
EDDIE (Cutting her off) : I can't stop to talk now; I have to take
this suitcase home. See you later. (He exits right. They watch
him go off. Then they turn and look off left again. Presently
mild astonishment appears on all their faces, and they peer off
more intently.)
FRANCES: Goodness! Here comes Eddie again! And without the
suitcase!
ARTHUR (Triumphantly) : That's Eddie's cousin, Freddie!
BILL: Not so fast. It might be Eddie. (In a moment FREDDIE
enters from the left. He is dressed exactly like EDDIE, except
that his cap is bright red.)
FREDDIE (Looking about him, as a stranger would) : Pardon me,
could you please tell me the way to Eddie's house? (No one re-
plies: They keep their eyes fastened on FREDDIE, and, in unison,
raise their left arms and point off right, their mouths agape.)
FREDDIE: Thank you, (He nods to them, and exits right.)
ARTHUR (After a pause) : Well? Do they look alike or not?
TWIN COUSINS 233
FRANCES: Exactly!
DIANA : Golly, I've never seen such a strong resemblance — ex-
cept in twins.
ARTHUR (Proudly) : They are twins !
DIANA (To BILL) : Arthur was right.
FRANCES : Yes, Arthur was right.
BILL (Pondering) : Hmmm . . .
ARTHUR: Well? Why don't you admit it? I'm right!
BILL : Not so fast Something is fishy here !
DIANA: What?
BILL : They were wearing the same clothes 1
ARTHUR: Twins always do! Anyway, they had different colored
caps.
BILB : How come they didn't walk past here together ?
ARTHUR: Freddie had to check some baggage.
BILL: Well, I think Eddie is trying to put one over on us. You
can't prove they're really twins until we see them together !
ARTHUR: You don't want to admit I'm right, that's all. We all
saw that they're twins. Ask Diana. Ask Frances.
BILL: What do you think, Diana? Isn't it possible that Eddie
was playing some sort of a trick on us?
DIANA: I don't see how he could be, but then again, I guess we
can't really be sure until we do see Eddie and Freddie at the
same time.
ARTHUR: All right, then! I will get them out here together! And
if I'm not right, I'll — I'll — I'll never say "Egad" again!
BILL: Well, the same goes for me! If I'm not right, I'll never
stamp on my hat when I see Arthur again! (To ARTHUR) I'm
going to Eddie's house with you ! (They stalk off right together.)
FRANCES : Gosh ! If they both turn out right, they'll never argue
again !
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same, two hours later.
234 TWIN COUSINS
Ax RISE: No one is onstage. In a few moments DIANA ana
FRANCES walk wearily on.
DIANA: I give up. I'm beginning to think that Bill is right.
FRANCES: I am too. Eddie and Freddie, or Eddie, or Freddie, or
whoever he is, or both of them, doesn't want to come out and
let us get a look at him.
DIANA : Or them.
DIANA: Poor Arthur and Bill. Both of them are so anxious to be
right, and to prove the other one is wrong.
FRANCES: How long have they been trying?
DIANA: It's about two hours now. First Eddie said he couldn't
come out because he had to eat.
FRANCES : And then he had to unpack Freddie's things.
DIANA : And then they had to put the candles in the birthday cake.
FRANCES : I wonder why that took so long ?
DIANA : They had to break each candle in half — half for Eddie,
and half for Freddie.
FRANCES: Oh. Well, I thought Bill would succeed when he tried
to get into Eddie's house by imitating a messenger.
DIANA: He probably would have gotten in too, if Arthur wasr't
trying to pose as the iceman at the same time. Bill said Eddie,
or Freddie, answered the front door, and Arthur said Freddie,
or Eddie, answered the back door. And both Eddie and Freddie
said they didn't know where their cousin was.
FRANCES: Doesn't that prove they're twins?
DIANA : We couldn't be sure the doors were answered at the same
time.
FRANCES: Golly, what will they try next?
ARTHUR (Hurrying on from right. He is breathing hard) : Diana !
Frances! We've finally got him! Bill and Eddie will be here in
a second. Now, tell Eddie you want to play with his cousin!
I'll explain later. Ssshh! Here they come!
BILL (To EDDIE, as- they enter from the right. EDDIE wears his
green cap) : I'm glad you could finally come out for a while.
We all wanted to play with you.
EDDIE: O.K.
FRANCES (As ARTHUR prods her) : Eddie — how about getting
your cousin out to play?
EDDIE: Oh, he has to finish unpacking.
TWIN COUSINS 235
DIANA: Why don't you do the unpacking? We're all anxious to
meet him.
ARTHUR: That's right. Eddie. Let him come out and play with
us.
BILL: Yes, Eddie.
EDDIE: Well — all right I'll go back and send him out. (He
exits right.)
ARTHUR: Good!
FRANCES : But — don't you want them to be here together.
BILL: That's all right. We found another way to settle the
question.
ARTHUR: It was my idea. I just pinned a button on Eddie's back,
and he doesn't know it's there. When he — or his cousin —
comes out now, we'll be able to tell which one it is!
DIANA: Good! What kind of a button is it?
ARTHUR: A school button. It says "Vote for George Mason."
FRANCES : Ssh I Here comes — er — someone.
FREDDIE (Entering from right, wearing red cap) : My cousin said
you wanted to play with me.
BILL: Yes, Freddie, that is, you are Freddie, aren't you?
FREDDIE: That's right.
BILL: Good.
ARTHUR: Freddie, I think you have something on your back.
Turn around.
FREDDIE (As he turns) : On my back? What is it? (A small
button is seen to be pinned on FREDDIE'S back. BILL folds his
arms triumphantly, and stands proudly to one side. ARTHUR
goes up very close, and peers intently at the button.)
FREDDIE: What is it? What's on my back?
BILL : It's an ink stain on your sweater. You'd better wash it out
right away.
FREDDIE: Oh gosh! I'll see you later. (He exits right.)
BILL (Folding his arms and smiling after FREDDIE is gone. To
ARTHUR) : Well, you saw the button, didn't you? We put it on
Eddie, and we find it on the boy who's supposed to be Freddie !
I guess that shows that they aren't twins !
ARTHUR (Also folding his arms) : I saw the button all right ! It
said on it, "Down with George Mason — Vote for Selma
Holland."
DIANA: Oh golly! We still don't know who's who !
BILL (After a pause) : There's one more thing we can try. Rope
236 TWIN COUSINS
the Steer! Come here everybody. (He motions the others in-
ward, and they get into a huddle. BILL whispers instructions to
them as the lights fade. The lights come up again, and DIANA,
FRANCES and ARTHUR are onstage, waiting silently. Presently,
BILL enters.)
BILL (Coming in) : Well, it took about half an hour, but I finally
did it
ARTHUR: How did you manage it?
BILL: I threatened not to lend him my bicycle any more, and he
agreed to play. And you know the rest. They'll be here soon.
FRANCES: We got them to play "Rope the Steer." But how will
that help us ?
ARTHUR: Don't you see? We made Eddie the roper, and Freddie
the steer.
BILL: Eddie has to pull the rope, and Freddie has his head in the
noose. They won't be able to do it unless they are really twins !
FRANCES : H'mmm. I guess he can't get out of that one.
BILL: He can't if he wants to use my bicycle!
DIANA (Looking off right) : Look everybody! Here he comes 1
(Immediately they aU turn and look off right. Presently, EDDIE,
with green cap, trudges slowly on, holding the end of a rope
over his shoulder. He moves across the stage, without looking
up, and the rope stretches out behind him. More and more rope
appears. Finally, trudging along, he exits left, and the rope
stretches across the entire stage, still moving along. DIANA,
FRANCES, ARTHUR and BILL gaze at EDDIE till after he has gone
of left. Then all together, they turn and look off right to the
other end of the rope. The rope moves along, and the noose ap-
pears. FREDDIE is in it, wearing red cap. He holds the noose
with his hands, and trudges across, as EDDIE did, the noose pull-
ing him across and off left, as all watch him in amazement.)
ARTHUR (To BILL, after a pause) : 111 never argue with you
again as long as I live.
BILL (To ARTHUR) : Shake! (They do, and go off right, arm in
arm. DIANA starts walking off right also, slowly and thought-
fuUy.)
FRANCES: But Diana! Wait a minute! Was he twins, or wasn't
he?
DIANA: Well never know. Lefs go home. (They start off right
together as the curtain fatts.)
THE END
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
by Martha Swints
Characters
THE KING
THE QUEEN
ALGERNON
THE PRINCESS
THE PAGE
THE FIRST WITCH
THE SECOND WITCH
THE HERALD
THE BAKER
SCENE 1
SETTING : Creampuff Hall, the throne room of the royal palace in
the ancient country of Delicatessia.
AT RISE : THE KING is seated on his throne, asleep. He holds a
creampuff in his hand. There is a table beside him with a tray
of creampuff s on it.
KING (Waking up with yawns and stretches) : Oh, hum. Let me
see. What am I supposed to do today? (PAGE enters and kneels
before KING.)
PAGE : Good morning, Sire. I have come to you today for a very
special purpose.
KING : To tell me what I am supposed to do, no doubt. Well then,
get up off your knees and tell me.
PAGE (Rising) : If you will permit me to remind you, Sire, you
are supposed to judge the Witch of All Witches.
KING: The Witch of All Witdies? And who may she be?
PAGE: Surely you must remember the witch who comes so fre-
quently to the palace.
KING: Oh, you mean that cute little witch with the blond curls?
PAGE : Nay, Sire. The one with the grey wig, glass eye and false
teeth.
237
238 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
KING: Oh, that one. Well, I might as well get it over with. I am
to judge her, you say?
PAGE: Yes, Sire.
KING: Why am I to judge her? Can you tell me what crime she
has committed?
PAGE : She stepped on your royal toe, Sire.
KING: My toe? Which toe?
PAGE : The one on your left foot, Sire.
KING: Oh, that one. Well, send her in. ( QUEEN and ALGERNON
enter. They are followed by several LADIES IN WAITING, who
group themselves beside thrones. QUEEN wears large spectacles
and is reading a book.)
PAGE: I had hoped to ask you a very important question, Sire.
(QUEEN bumps into PAGE) Pardon me, your Majesty.
KING (To QUEEN) : Let that Page go by.
QUEEN : Oh not this page. It's one of the best in the whole book.
Listen to this. (Reads') "The prince drew his sword and with
one fell swoop killed the mouse and saved the princess." (Sighs)
Isn't that romantic?
KING : Yes, yes, I suppose it is. But, enough of your romance.
Please don't interfere with important court matters. I have a
witch to judge. Page, go and bring her in. (PAGE bows and
exits.)
QUEEN (Sighing) : How I wish you were filled with romance in-
stead of creampuffs. Algernon is filled with romance. Aren't
you, Algernon?
ALGERNON : Oh, quite.
QUEEN : Listen to this, Algernon. (Reads) "The prince looked
into the deep blue eyes of the princess, and. . ."
KING: Will you kindly read that trash somewhere else?
QUEEN : You just don't appreciate romance. But Algernon does.
I will take him to the garden and read it to him.
KING: A fine way to treat our future son-in-law.
QUEEN : Oh, he loves it Don't you, Algernon?
ALGERNON: Oh, quite.
QUEEN : Then come along, my dear, I'll read you a whole chapter.
(PAGE enters with WITCH OF ALL WITCHES) And here is my
old friend, the Witch of All Witches. Maybe she would like to
join us. (To WITCH) Could I interest you in a good book?
WITCH : Don't tell me you're working your way through college!
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 239
QUEEN: Humpf ! You're impossible! Come along, Algernon. We'll
go to a more refined atmosphere. ( QUEEN and ALGERNON sweep
out indignantly, followed by train of LADIES-IN-WAITING, also
indignant.)
KING (Turning to WITCH) : This is the witch I am to judge.
Well, you moth-eaten old broomstick rider, are you ready to ad-
mit you are sorry you stepped on my toe?
WITCH : Never !
KING: What? Then I must sentence you.
WITCH : And if you do, I will put a curse on you and your cream-
puffs.
KING: You wouldn't! Not my creampuffs! (Covers up cream-
puffs) No! No!
WITCH : Just sentence me and see.
KING: All right, I will. I don't believe you'd have the nerve to do
it. (Clears throat) I sentence you to your mountain den for the
rest of your life.
WITCH : Oh, you do, do you ? Then I warn you ; on this very day
your creampuff recipe book will walk out of your kitchen to my
den, and be lost forever!
KING (To PAGE) : Do you think she ean do it?
PAGE (Shrugging shoulders) : She's the Witch of AH Witches.
KING : If I really thought. . . But no ! She's just bluffing. Take her
to her den!
PAGE (Taking WITCH by arm) : Come with me. Home to your
mountains. ( WITCH laughs shrilly as they exit.)
KING : I wonder if she really has the power to deprive me of my
creampuffs. Maybe I'd better call her back. (Calls) Page ! Page !
(HERALD enters running.)
HERALD: Thank you, Sire. You called me, didn't you?
KING: Not that I know of. Who are you?
HERALD : I am the court herald, Sire. Please say you called me.
KING: All right, I called you. But now I can't remember why.
HERAUD : It doesn't matter, Sire. The Queen had me cornered in
the hallway outside and was reading aloud some romantic drivel
from a book. I — well — Oh, I just had to get away from her.
KING : Say no more. I understand fully. But now that you're here,
I want to ask you a question.
HERALD: Anything, Sire. Ask me anything.
240 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
KING : Do you think the Witch of All Witches could put legs on
my creampuff recipe book and cause it to run away?
HERALD (Thoughtfully) : She is very powerful. Remember the
time she made the river run uphill?
KING : Indeed I do ! That settles it ! Something must be done at
once. I have just sentenced the witch to her den for the rest of
her life. Go immediately to the kitchen and bring the recipe book
to me. I'll sit on it !
HERALD: At once, Sire! (Exits running.)
KING: Why didn't I think of that before? If I'm sitting on the
book it can't possibly run away — legs or no legs. (BAKER, clad
in white apron and cap, enters excitedly.)
BAKER: Your Majesty! Your Majesty! I cannot go on. I quit!
KING: Please, Pierre. Just a moment. What is wrong?
BAKER : I was making some creampuffs for your Majesty, and the
recipe book was on the kitchen table, right in front of my eyes.
KING : Yes, yes, go on.
BAKER : Well, all of a sudden — you won't believe this.
KING: I'm afraid I will.
BAKER : It sounds impossible, but all of a sudden that recipe book
sprouted legs and walked right out of the kitchen !
KING (Dejectedly) : Then it's too late. She did do it Pierre, do
you remember the creampuff recipe?
BAKER : Well, let me see. One pinch of salt ; one spoonful of sugar.
Or was it a spoonful of salt and a pinch of sugar?
KING: You don't remember.
BAKER : Well — I'm not sure. But there must have been cream in
them. They couldn't be creampuffs without cream. And surely
they contained puffs. But, what's a puff? Oh, Sire, I can't re-
member.
KING (Picking up tray of creampuffs jrom table beside him and
handing it to BAKER) : Then here. Take these to the kitchen
at once and pull them apart — pick them to pieces — and find
out what they are made of. I must know.
BAKER: But, Sire —
KING: Go at once! (BAKER backs toward door) No — wait a
minute. I must have one last creampuff. (Points) That big one.
(BAKER gives creampuff to KING) Now, on your way. And
hurry!
BAKER: Yes, Sire. (Exits running.)
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 241
KING: Oh why did I ever let that Page leave with the Witch? I
wonder if the Queen could have stopped them in the hallway
to listen to her romantic reading. I'll see. Page! Page! (PAGE
enters and bows.)
PAGE: You called, Sire?
KING: Yes. Where is the Witch of All Witches?
PAGE: In her den, Sire. You ordered me to take her there as a
prisoner.
KING: And you have done it so soon?
PAGE : Yes. We went on her broomstick. It takes but a moment.
KING: Then get my daughter. Bring her here at once. She will
think of something to do.
PAGE: Gladly, Sire. But first, may I speak to you of your
daughter?
KING : No, no. There isn't time now. I've lost my creampuff recipe,
and perhaps the Princess can help me get it back.
PAGE : I'm sure she can, Sire. I'll bring her at once. (Exits. KING
settles back on throne and looks longingly at one remaining
creampuff. His hand reaches slowly toward it. He slaps it with
other hand. HERALD enters, running.)
HERALD : Sire ! Sire ! The recipe book is gone ! I can't find it any-
where.
KING : Yes, I know. It sprouted legs and walked out of the kitchen.
Pierre told me. He saw it.
HERALD : How horrible ! I wish there were something I could do.
KING: There is. The Baker is down in the kitchen trying to find
out how he made my creampuffs. You may go and help him.
HERALD: Gladly, Sire. But how? I know nothing of baking.
KING: He is taking my creampuffs apart, crumb by crumb, to see
what's in them.
HERALD : But that will take hours.
KING : Not with two of you working at it. Go at once — and don't
leave a crumb unturned. (PAGE and PRINCESS enter.)
HERALD : But, Sire, I am a Herald ; a very good Herald, and —
KING : You are now a crumby Herald. Go and get busy. I want to
talk to my daughter.
HERALD : Very well, Sire, but this is not in xny contract. (Exits.)
KING: Bother his contract.
PRINCESS : He'll probably charge you time and a half.
242 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
KING: It will be worth it if he finds out how my creampuffs are
made.
PRINCESS: Doesn't the Baker know? He's been making them for
years.
KING : He can't remember ; and the Witch of All Witches has spir-
ited away my recipe book to her den. That's what I want to talk
to you about.
PRINCESS : Oh, the Page said you wanted to talk about — us.
KING: You?
PAGE: Yes, Sire. For some time I have been trying to ask you
about a very important matter, but I have always been inter-
rupted
KING: Something more important than my creampuffs?
PAGE : Well — it's more important to me, Sire. I want to ask you
for the hand of your daughter in marriage.
KING: What? A Page dares to ask for the hand of a Princess?
Never!
PRINCESS : But, Father, I love the Page.
KING : And what has that got to do with it, pray tell? Princesses
don't marry Pages. It just isn't done.
PRINCESS : But this is different I —
KING : You're going to marry Algernon. At least, that's what your
mother told me.
PRINCESS: She may think I'm going to marry Algernon, but I'm
not!
PAGE : Sire, do you want a son-in-law who has said only two words
since he learned to talk?
KING : Oh, quite.
PRINCESS: Father!
KING : Now go, young man. Go at once.
PAGE : Is there nothing I can say to convince you that your daugh-
ter and I should be married?
KING : Nothing. My daughter shall never marry a Page. Of course,
I would prefer an improvement over Algernon, but —
PRINCESS : But Mother says I am to marry Algernon, so there's
nothing you can do about it. Is that right?
KING (Squirming on throne) : I refuse to talk about it any longer.
Page, go about your duties.
PAGE: Very well, Sire. But I shall return. (Exits.)
KING : He's an obstinate fellow.
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 243
PRINCESS (Dreamily) : He's wonderful I've never known any-
one like him in all my life.
KING: You will. The world is full of Pages. But there's only one
Algernon.
PRINCESS : One is enough, if you ask me.
KING : But I'm not asking you. There is something I want to ask
you, though. Could you possibly help me get back my recipe for
creampuffs ?
PRINCESS: So far as I know, there is nothing I can do. (QUEEN
enters with ALGERNON and LADIES-IN-WAITING.)
QUEEN (Adjusts spectacles and looks at KING) : My dear ! What's
the matter with you ? You looked worried.
KING: Why wouldn't I be? The Witch of All Witches has stolen
my recipe for creampuffs.
QUEEN : Why, that old hag. I think she should give it right back
to you. Don't you, Algernon?
ALGERNON: Oh, quite.
KING: Isn't that just like a woman? My dear wife —
PRINCESS : Father, just a moment, please. You see, Mother, it isn't
quite that simple.
QUEEN: Why not? In all the books I've read, the King simply
tells the witch —
PRINCESS : I'm sorry, Mother, but you're wrong. It won't work in
this case.
QUEEN : But my books say —
KING: Books! Books! Books! Is that all you think of?
PRINCESS : Wait, Father, I have a plan.
KING: You have? Good! What is it?
PRINCESS: I will go to the witch's den myself and get the book
for you.
QUEEN: You? Alone?
PRINCESS : I'm not afraid.
KING: I knew you could help me. When can you start? There's
no time to lose.
PRINCESS : Not so fast, Father. I have not finished telling my plan.
KING: What more is necessary? You're going after my cream-
puffs. That's all there is to it.
PRINCESS : Not quite. I will do this for you only on one condition.
KING: And that is —
PRINCESS : You must permit me to marry the Page if I succeed.
244 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
QUEEN: Marry the Page? What is this all about?
KING : Our daughter wants to marry the Page, and he has asked
me for her hand.
QUEEN : Impossible ! Just think of the disgrace. I can see the head-
lines in the papers now, "Daughter of King becomes Mrs. Page."
Horrors !
PRINCESS : Very well, then. No Page — no creampuffs.
KING: No creampuffs — no King.
QUEEN : And no King — no Queen !
PRINCESS : All you have to do is give me your permission to marry
the Page if I recover your recipe.
ICiNG: Would that be satisfactory to you, Algernon?
ALGERNON : Oh —
QUEEN: Quiet!
PRINCESS : Do you agree with my conditions, Father?
KING (Clearing throat) : In this moment of national crisis, I here-
by decree that the Princess may marry my Page when the recipe
for creampuffs is delivered to me safe and secure.
PRINCESS: Thank you, Father. Ill do my best. Goodbye. (Exits.)
QUEEN : Wait ! (Starts after PRINCESS. KING stops her and pulls
her spectacles off. Hands them to ALGERNON.) Oh — oh my!
Now I've lost my spectacles.
KING: Algernon will help you find them, won't you, Algernon?
ALGERNON: Oh, quite.
KING: I knew you would. You're so helpful. (Pushes QUEEN and
ALGERNON out door. Hurries to throne and picks up creampuff)
Now that my daughter has gone after my recipe, I can eat this
last creampuff. (Stuffs it into mouth. Curtains close.)
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Mountain Den of the WITCHES.
AT RISE : WITCH OF ALL WITCHES is standing over a cauldron,
holding book in one hand and stirring with a long spoon in the
other.)
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 245
2ND WITCH (Entering from side) : Ah, that smells good. What
are you brewing, sister?
IST WITCH : Something we have never had before.
2ND WITCH: Not vulture stew? Don't tell me you have finally
caught a vulture. They usually take one quick look at you and fly
to the highest crag.
IST WITCH : It's not vulture stew.
2ND WITCH : Well, if it's not vulture stew, what is it?
IST WITCH : Promise you will never tell a soul?
2ND WITCH : Not a living soul.
IST WITCH : Any soul.
2ND WITCH : Very well — I promise.
IST WITCH : I'm making creampuffs.
2ND WITCH : Creampuffs? They sound windy. What are they?
IST WITCH : They are the favorite food of the King. He eats thou-
sands of them. But he'll never eat another, because I've taken his
recipe. It's right here in this book. (Puts book beside cauldron
and stirs briskly.)
2ND WITCH : I'd much rather have vulture stew. But listen ! I
think I hear someone in the passageway.
IST WITCH : No one would dare come here.
PRINCESS (Of) : Let me in. Please let me in.
2ND WITCH : Oh no? I suppose that's just the wind.
IST WITCH : Well, let her in.
2ND WITCH : You let her in.
IST WITCH : I'm busy. Besides, it's probably just a black cat ped-
dler, and we have plenty.
PRINCESS (Off stage) : In the name of the King, let me in ! •
2ND WITCH : Black cat peddler, eh? It sounds to me like the Prin-
cess. I'll be glad to let her in. (Starts for side.)
IST WITCH (Catching hold of her) : Oh no you don't. I'm the
head of this den. I'll let her in. And I'll do all the talking too.
I have an idea what she wants. You go into the bat room and
stay there. (Points to opposite side of stage.)
2ND WITCH (Pouting) : Why can't I hear what you talk about?
IST WITCH : It's a private matter between the Princess and me.
2ND WITCH : You're mean, and I'll get even with you for this.
You'll never eat a creampuff ! It's my curse on you for pushing
me out like this.
246 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
IST WITCH : Your curse? On me? Me— the Witch of All Witches?
Bah! (Pushes her out.)
PRINCESS (Off) : Are you ever going to let me in?
IST WITCH (Hurrying across stage) : Keep your jerkin on. I'm
coming. (Goes to side) Come on in, and stop howling.
PRINCESS (Entering) : You're not very cordial.
IST WITCH: Why should I be? I didn't invite you here.
PRINCESS: Most people would be glad to have a Princess visit
them.
IST WITCH : Princess? Humph. What's a Princess? I'm the Witch
of All Witches.
PRINCESS: Then you're just the person I want to talk to.
IST WITCH : Well, I don't want to talk to you. What did you come
here for?
PRINCESS : I want my father's recipe for creampuffs.
IST WITCH (Sarcastically) : Oh, you do? Well now, isn't that just
fine? I told your father he would never have that recipe again —
and he won't ! Now, get out of here before I put a curse on you.
PRINCESS: You can't put a curse on someone who is not afraid
of you.
IST WITCH : No? I'll show you. (Points finger at PRINCESS) Hug-
gle, puggle, riggeldy smote. You are now a nanny goat.
PRINCESS: Really? How stupid.
IST WITCH: What? You defy me?
PRINCESS : I do — because you can plainly see your curses have
no effect on me, for I am not afraid of you.
IST WITCH (Shrinking back) : What's this? You are not afraid
of me — the Witch of All Witches ?
PRINCESS: Not a bit. And furthermore, I shall tell the whole
kingdom your spells work only on those who fear you and they
will fear no more. Then you will be helpless.
IST WITCH: No, no! Not that! I'll lose my union card! Please
keep my secret, and I'll do anything you say.
PRINCESS: You will? (Walks slowly toward recipe book) Then
give me this book.
IST WITCH : No ! Anything but that. Don't ask me to do that !
PRINCESS (Picking up book) : Do you want the whole kingdom
to know your secret?
IST WITCH : You wouldn't dare tell your people.
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 247
PRINCESS : I do not fear you, so I would dare do anything. (Starts
toward side of stage.)
IST WITCH : This shouldn't happen to a dog!
PRINCESS : Well, it has happened to you. I am taking this recipe
book back to my father. There is nothing you can do about it.
Goodbye — fake! (Exits.)
IST WITCH : Fake! She called me a fake! I'll show her. (Hurries
to cauldron) I'll brew a concoction that will teach her I am not
a fake. (Putts bottle from her cloak pocket and pours liquid into
cauldron.)
2ND WITCH (Poking head in from side of stage) : Still making
creampuffs, sister?
IST WITCH: Yes — in spite of your curse.
2ND WITCH (Entering) : I said you would never eat a creampuff
— and you won't, if you want to live. That's poison you're pour-
ing into the cauldron.
IST WITCH : Yes — I'm making a choice little brew for the Prin-
cess. She just called me a fake.
2ND WITCH : Well, well, well. She knows you better than I thought
she did.
IST WITCH : Get out of here ! (Picks up spoon and chases 2ND
WITCH off stage. Lights go out.)
CURTAIN
9
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE : KING and QUEEN are seated on thrones.
KING: I wonder when our lovely darling daughter will return.
(Sighs) Ah, what a wonderful child she is.
QUEEN : You must think a lot of her, to send her to that awful
witch's den alone. (Cries into large handkerchief.)
248 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
KING : Oh, come, come, my dear. There is nothing to worry about.
She will handle the situation beautifully. She takes after my
side of the family, you know.
QUEEN : That's why I'm so worried about her. But, I'm sending
Algernon after her. Oh dear, I hope there won't be any trouble.
KING : If there is, my daughter can get Algernon out of it safe and
sound. You can depend on her. (Smacks lips) And I'll have my
creampuffs again. (BAKER and HERALD enter. They are support-
ing each other. They look tired and discouraged, with their heads
hanging) What ho ! Have you two been testing my wine again?
BAKER (Sinking to floor) : Nay, Sire. We have been carrying out
your orders.
KING : Orders ? What orders ?
HERALD: To take the creampuffs apart, Sire, crumb by crumb, to
find what they contained.
KING: Ah yes. And what did you find?
BAKER : That they are made only of crumbs, Sire — millions and
millions and millions of crumbs. And, alas, I had each and every
one under my personal inspection. (Sighs) I am poohed. (Puts
head on arm and goes to sleep.)
HERALD : And I — I am pooh poohed. (Sinks down, puts head on
BAKER and goes to sleep.)
QUEEN: Pooh! What nonsense. (ALGERNON enters wearing a
pair of boxing gloves.)
KING : What on earth ! Boxing gloves ! You can be wearing those
for only one reason — to keep your hands warm.
QUEEN : Nothing of the kind. He's on his way to the witch's den
to save our daughter, aren't you, Algernon?
ALGERNON : Oh, quite. (KING laughs loudly.)
KING : Do you think you can knock the witch out with those
gloves?
ALGERNON: Oh, quite. (KING laughs.)
OFF-STAGE VOICE : Make way for her Highness, the Princess !
KING : She's back ! Hooray ! Creampuffs again ! (PRINCESS enters
carrying recipe book.)
PRINCESS: Father! I have it! Your recipe book! (Hands book to
KING who immediately sits on it.)
KING: Daughter, you've saved my life. I've a notion to make you
Queen,
QUEEN : You're horrid. I'm going home to mother. (Steps down
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 249
from throne and starts haughtily across the stage. WITCH OF
ALL WITCHES enters.)
KING (To WITCH) : I sentenced you to your mountain den for
life. What are you doing here?
WITCH : I have come on the kindest of missions, Sire. I have
brought a gift for your brave, gracious daughter. When she
told me of your suffering because of the loss of your creampuf!
recipe, I was afraid you might wither away in front of her very
eyes. So, I willingly gave her the recipe.
PRINCESS : Why, you —
WITCH : Just a moment, dearie. I have brought you the most val-
uable gift a girl could receive — the Water of Youth. You have
but to take one swallow and you shall never grow older.
PRINCESS (Slightly interested) : Really?
WITCH : I guarantee it. One sip of this wonderful water and you
remain just as you are for the rest of your life. (PRINCESS takes
bottle as 2ND WITCH runs in.)
2ND WITCH : Stop! Don't drink that! It's poison! I saw her brew
it after the Princess left her den. (PRINCESS drops bottle.)
IST WITCH: You fool! Now you've ruined everything! (Runs to
door. PAGE enters and catches hold of her.) Let me go!
KING : No ! Hold her ! She has tried to poison my daughter. Her-
ald! Baker! Get up! Take the Witch prisoner! (HERALD and
BAKER spring up and take WITCH by arms.)
IST WITCH : Let me go, I say !
KING: You'll go after I'm through with you. Page, pick up that
bottle. (PAGE picks up bottle) You now hold in your hand the
magic Water of Youth — a gift to my daughter from the Witch
of All Witches. Take it to the Witch and make her drink of it.
IST WITCH: No! No!
KING : But you said one sip of it and you would never grow older.
Surely you would like to remain as you are the rest of your life.
IST WITCH : But the rest of my life would be so short.
KING: -Ah, so you admit your bottle contains poison.
IST WITCH : No, Sire. But —
KING: Then drink. It is my royal decree. (PAGE puts bottle to
WITCH'S lips and tips it up. She collapses.) Take her out and
throw her to the buzzards. (BAKER and HERALD drag WITCH
out.)
2ND WITCH : Good riddance to bad rubbish. And now, Sire, what
250 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
is your royal decree for me? Remember, I am the one who saved
your daughter from a horrible death.
KING: You? Well, let me see. How would you like to be the
Witch of All Witches?
2ND WITCH: Silly boy. There is nothing I'd rather be in the
whole world.
KING : Then come and kneel in front of my throne.
2ND WITCH : Could I please stand, Sire? My rheumatism has been
bothering me lately.
KING (Rising and holding hand over WITCH'S head as she stands
before throne) : I dub you the Witch of All Witches. But re-
member, no stomping on my royal toes.
2ND WITCH : Never, Sire,
KING : And no attempts at poisoning my daughter.
2ND WITCH : Perish the thought.
KING : And above all — no more stealing of my creampuff recipe.
2ND WITCH : May I follow in my sister's footsteps if I should ever
do a thing like that.
KING: Very well, then. Depart, Witch of All Witches. ( WITCH
bows, turns to go, and notices PAGE.)
2ND WITCH : You ! No it can't be. Yet, my witch's eyes never de-
ceive me.
QUEEN : What's wrong with him? Has he got chickenpox?
2ND WITCH : Chickenpox ! Pooh ! He has a kingdom far greater
than yours.
KING: What? Who is he?
2ND WITCH : He is Prince Reginald, son of the mighty King Cole.
He was lost when only two years old and his father thought him
dead. I remember it well, because I was working on the night
shift in a haunted house near the castle.
QUEEN (Running to PAGE) : How romantic. A real prince and my
future son-in-law.
KING: How's that? I thought our daughter was to marry
Algernon.
PRINCESS : But remember, Father, you promised that if I brought
back your recipe for creampuffs you'd let me marry the Page.
KING : Oh, so I did. Well, then I guess I can keep my promise,
now that the Page is really a Prince. (PRINCESS holds out her
hands to PAGE who comes to her and takes them in his) Go, my
children, and arrange the ceremony.
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS 251
QUEEN : I'll take care of that. And I'm so happy for you, my dear.
(PAGE puts his arm around PRINCESS and they exit as aft on
stage applaud. ALGERNON keeps beating his boxing gloves to-
gether after others have stopped clapping their hands.)
KING (Looking at him} : And now, what do we do with him?
(Points to him)
2ND WITCH : Let me have him. He can feed my bats for me.
QUEEN : No, 111 keep him here. He listens to my reading.
KING : Let him decide for himself. Algernon, do you want to stay
here and listen to the Queen read her books?
ALGERNON (Rapidly) : I should say not ! If I had to spend the
rest of my life that way I think I should go mad. I've listened
to romance so long now I'm sick and tired of it. And I never
wanted to marry your daughter either. I think she's a little snip,
but I have no means of support, so marrying her would have
been better than starving to death. If the Witch wants me to
go with her, 111 be glad to. Feeding bats is far better than lis-
tening to romance. I hate romance! I love bats! So what are
we waiting for? Come on, witchie, my love. Fly with me to your
mountain cavern where I can sit on a cool rock, take off my
shoes and relax in peace and quiet. (Puts arm around WITCH.)
2ND WITCH : My pin-up boy ! Let's go. My broom is waiting .at
the gate. (They skip out.)
QUEEN : Well, I never in all my life Did you kaow he was as
silly as that?
KING: Oh, quite.
QUEEN : Please I Don't ever say that again. (Shudders) And to
think he might have been my son-in-law.
KING: Would you like to read something to get him off your
mind?
QUEEN : Yes. What would you like to hear?
KING (Dreamily) : I would like to hear the sound of a spoon
stirring —
QUEEN : Now wait a minute.
KING: I would like to hear a spoon stirring up a bowlful of deli-
cious creampuffs. (Holds recipe book out to QUEEN) And as
long as you are so anxious to read, take this down to the
kitchen, read the recipe for creampuffs and start making some
right away.
QUEEN : You're horrid.
252 THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
KING : I'm also hungry. (Puts book under QUEEN'S arm and ushers
her to exit} That's a good girl, now. One big batch. Just like
mother used to make.
QUEEN: Oh, the kind that taste like tennis balls. (Sighs) Very
well — if you insist. (Exits, followed by LADIES-IN-WAITING.
KING hurries back to throne, sits down. Takes creampuff from
pocket of his cloak. Settles back, smiles.)
KING: I always keep a spare for emergencies. (Eats as curtains
close.)
THE END
THE DAY IS BRIGHT
by Norman Myrick
Characters
MURILLO, the painter, at the age of 57
THE DUCHESS OF CASTILE
SEBASTION, Murillo's servant boy
CARLOS, Sebastion's father and also a slave. He is a Moor.
RICAKDO
CARMEN
HERNANDO
FRANCISCO
ROSITTA
pupils of Murillo
SETTING : The action takes place in the studio of Murillo, the Span-
ish painter.
AT RISE: The DUCHESS is seated in the subject's chair while
MURILLO paints her portrait. After a few strokes he steps back
and looks critically at the DUCHESS.
MURILLO: The head, Duchess, please, a little more to the right.
(Pauses and studies a moment.) No, that is not it. Perhaps a
little more to the left. Yes, yes, that is it. Now please, please,
dear Duchess, try to hold the head so.
DUCHESS: Very well, Murillo. Very welL But do hurry along.
I am tired.
MURILLO: Tired? Perhaps the flesh, yes, but the soul, no. And it
is the soul that I paint.
DUCHESS: Humph!
MURILLO: Do not look so grim, dear Duchess. It is so hard for
the soul to shine through the grimness. (The DUCHESS turns
her head.) Please, please. The head, to the left, always to the
left, dear Duchess.
DUCHESS: The left, always the left. Does my soul go to the left?
Does my heart go to the left? Does my hand go to the left?
253
254 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
No and no and no! But always my head, to the left, please!
MURILLO : There, there. Will the Duchess be so good as to relax?
It is not an angry Duchess that I paint but a great lady, a great
soul, calm and serene.
DUCHESS: A great soul — bah! Tell me this, Seiior Murillo, is
there a wart upon my soul?
MURILLO : Surely the Duchess is joking. In all Castile there is —
DUCHESS: Answer me, Murillo. Is there a wart upon my soul?
MURILLO: A wart?
DUCHESS : Yes, an ugly, toady wart.
MURILLO: Never. By all the Saints, it is a soul so pure, so
bright —
DUCHESS : Then, why, Senor Murillo, did you paint such a great
purple wart on my nose ?
MURILLO : My dear Duchess, you are joking. I do not paint a wart
on your nose. Such a thing I would not do.
DUCHESS: I am not joking, Senor Murillo. (During the latter
part of the speech she gets up and goes to the portrait.) Is this
a drop of gold? (Pointing to her nose in the portrait.) Is it an
angel with silver wings? No, it is not. It is a wart. And it is
on my nose.
MURRILLO : But my dear Duchess, I assure you —
DUCHESS : It is a wart and it is on my nose.
MURILLO : I know nothing about it. I did not paint it.
DUCHESS : It did not grow there.
MURILLO : No, but —
DUCHESS : There is no one but Murillo who is painting.
MURILLO : No, there is no one —
DUCHESS : Nevertheless, the wart is there.
MURILLO : But I did not paint it.
DUCHESS: Then who did?
MURILLO : I do not know. But I would call the Duchess's attention
to this fact : while there is a wart painted on the portrait, about
which I know nothing, mind you, there is also a wart right
there. (Walks up close to the DUCHESS as he speaks and points
his finger at the DUCHESS'S nose.)
DUCHESS : You — you — you insulter. I will have you hanged.
MURILLO : Hang me, then, you will still have your wart. (Enter
SEBASTION who stands waiting to be recognized.)
DUCHESS : My husband will call on you. He will kill you.
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 255
MURILLO: Your husband couldn't kill a fly. Yes, Sebastion?
SEBASTION : If you please, Master —
DUCHESS : I will go to Enrico Calles —
MURILLO : Enrico Calles is a jackass that uses its tail for a paint
brush. What is it, Sebastion?
SEBASTION : If you please, Master —
DUCHESS : Better a jackass than you who tells lies and insults his
clients.
MURILLO : I did not lie. I am Murillo, the artist. I do not have
to lie.
DUCHESS : I will not stay here any longer. My cloak, my hat, my
carriage! I am going. I will have you drawn and quartered. I
will go to Enrico Calles. (Exit with a great flourish and MUR-
ILLO follows her to the door, shouting after her.)
MURILLO: Well, then, go to Enrico Calles. Go and have him
paint you like a Fra Angelico Madonna. Have him paint you
like a Velazquez horse. You will still have your warts and so
will all your children. (Pauses, and as an after-thought) And so
will your children's children. (To SEBASTION) Well, what is it?
Don't stand there like a mummy.
SEBASTION : If you please, Master —
MURILLO : A wart on her nose ! Ten thousand devils, there is a
wart on her nose.
SEBASTION : If you please, Master, the pupils are here.
MURILLO: And what if they are? Am I to stop everything just
because some infant daubers are here? So her husband will
kill me. Hah! He is a killer of flies, do you hear me, a killer of
flies. Why, were he so much as to show his nose in the doorway
I would cut it off for him. Well, what are you waiting for?
Show them in. The day will not last forever.
SEBASTION: Yes, Master. (Exit SEBASTION.)
MURILLO (Goes over to portrait and studies it carefully) : A wart
on her nose. Yes, there is a wart there. It is not a drop of gold
nor yet an angel with silver wings, it is a wart and such a wart !
A truly magnificent wart. It is a wart that lives and grows, a
wart that has a soul, a wart such as only Murillo could paint.
The same style, the same stroke and yet Murillo did not paint it.
Who, then? Enrico Calles, seeking to discredit me? No. He
could not paint such a wart. Quipus? No. Pedrarias? No.
A pupil? Yes, possibly a pupil. But whoever, to paint such a
256 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
wart — it is — it is genius. (Enter the pupils, one by one. The
boys bow to MURILLO and the girls curtsey. MURILLO stands
facing the door and. nods slightly to each one in turn.)
HERNANDO : Good morning, Master.
MURILLO : Sefior Hernando.
CARMEN: Good morning, Master.
MURILLO: Senorita Carmen.
FRANCISCO : Good morning, Master.
MURILLO: Senor Francisco.
ROSITTA : Good morning, Master.
MURILLO : Senorita Rositta.
RICARDO : Good morning, Master.
MURILLO : Senor Ricardc. (As they are greeted the students move
to their easels and set about preparations for the morning's
work. There is much bustle and talk before the class settles
down.)
RICARDO: Has anyone seen my brush with the yellow bristles?
CARMEN: Goodness, have you lost that again? Well, I haven't
seen it.
RICARDO : I left it right here with my easel and now it's gone.
HERNANDO : It must have grown legs and walked away.
RICARDO : Very funny. I'll bet a peso that you have it.
HERNANDO: Ho! So you call me a thief. (Walks belligerently
toward RICARDO.)
ROSITTA: Oh, do stop squabbling and let somebody do some
work!
FRANCISCO: She talks like an artist, doesn't she?
CARMEN : At least she doesn't paint women with blue hair.
HERNANDO : Oh, yes, women with blue hair. Ha, ha, ha, ha I
FRANCISCO : It wasn't blue hair. It was a balanced color combina-
tion, as anyone who knows the first thing about painting would
know —
RICARDO: I still can't find that brush.
ROSITTA : Oh, bother the brush ! Take one of mine and keep quiet !
RICARDO : One might think that you were the Master.
MURILLO: Come, come, enough of this bickering. Get to your
easels, all of you. (MURILLO strolls around the room,, pausing
before this easel and that one.)
CARMEN : Master, there is a fly in my bowl of soup.
MURILLO : This is no place for soup. Take it out and the fly with it.
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 257
CARMEN : It is the bowl of soup in my picture, Master. (Pupils
laugh.)
RICAKDO : It is a wonder the fly knew what it was.
CARMEN : Oh, keep still !
MURILLO: Silence, Ricardo! Carmen, all of you, quiet! (Goes to
picture.) The fly isn't dead, Carmen; chase him away. Shoo,
shoo, fly! (His actions must suggest that he has no luck.)
CARMEN : You see, he is stuck on. (The students gather around.)
MURILLO: Nonsense! I'll fix him. (Takes out his handkerchief
and swishes at the fly.) In the name of ten thousand saints,
what's the matter with that fly. (Snaps with his finger at the
fly and then examines it closely.) By the bones of the Evil One,
it is a painted fly. Someone has painted a fly in Carmen's bowl
of soup. Who did it? Which one of you? Ricardo? Fran-
cisco ? Hernando ? Which one ?
ALL : Not I. I can't paint that well.
MURILLO (Very angrily) : Someone is making fun of Murillo.
Some evil dog is carrying a joke too far. Hernando, what are
you laughing at?
HERNANDO: Nothing, Master. Nothing.
MURILLO : So, it is nothing. It is nothing that the Duchess threat-
ens to have me killed because someone paints a wart on her nose.
It is nothing that I waste my time with a painted fly that I think
is real. No, it is nothing at all, except that when I lay my hands
on the wretch I shall wring his scrawny neck until the bones in
his spine snap like dry twigs, one by one.
HERNANDO : One by one.
MURILLO : Now back to your easels, all of you, and let us have no
more of these pranks. ( MURILLO resumes his stroll and the
pupils go back to their easels.)
RICARDO (To FRANCISCO) : Who did it? Did you?
FRANCISCO : No, I didn't do it. I thought you did.
RICARDO : Maybe it was Hernando.
FRANCISCO: He'd do it, only he can't paint that well. Even the
Master thought it was a real fly. Sshh, here he comes.
MURILLO : (Pauses in front of RICAKDO'S easel) : Ricardo.
RICARDO : Yes, Master.
MURILLO: Do you know what warm colors are?
RICABDO : Yes, Master. Yellow, red —
MURILLO : Yellow and red, yellow and red. Then why don't you
258 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
paint in yellow and red? May the saints deliver me if I even
understand how you can paint a warm, living Castilian scene in
a cold blue that would freeze the blood of an English barbarian.
(MURILLO goes on.)
ROSITTA : The Master is in a vile humor this morning.
RICARDO : He is an old goat, and I will paint in blue as much as
I please.
MURILLO: Hernando.
HERNANDO (To CARMEN) : It is my turn now. Yes, Master.
MURILLO: Hernando, how many legs has a horse?
HERNANDO: Four, Master.
MURILLO: Yes, a horse has four legs. Not five, not three, but
four. Be so good, Master Hernando, as to tell a poor ignorant
creature like your teacher, why you paint a horse with five legs?
HERNANDO : I do not understand, Master, I painted only four.
MURILLO : Ha ! He painted only four. What, then, is this ?
HERNANDO : It is a leg to be sure, but I did not paint it. I swear
I did not paint it.
MURILLO : A horse has five legs and he did not paint it The leg
is there.
HERNANDO : Yes, but I did not paint it.
MURILLO : So. A wart is on the Duchess's nose and Murillo did
not paint it. A fly is in Carmen's soup, but Carmen did not
paint it. A horse grows a fifth leg, but Hernando did not paint
it. And such a wart, such a leg, such a fly. Magnificent ! Mag-
nificent ! But you do not paint them. Who, then ? Who ? Who ?
Who ? (Paces up and down and finally steps in front of an easel
that no one is using. At first he pays no attention to it, but grad-
ually his attention is drawn to it so that he does not listen to
what the pupils are saying.)
ROSITTA : Perhaps the good God has spoken to a Saint.
CARMEN : It might have been a fairy.
HERNANDO: Don't be a dunce; fairies aren't real. I think it was
Calles or Quipus, or some other one of the Master's rivals.
MURILLO : Hernando, Ricardo, Carmen —
ALL: Yes, Master —
MURILLO (Excitedly) : This — this portrait, which one of you
did it?
RICARDO: Not I, Master.
CARMEN : Nor I either, Master.
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 259
HERNANDO : Would that I had, Master.
FRANCISCO: I didn't do it.
ROSITTA : It is all that I can do to paint a bowl of flowers.
MURILLO (Engrossed in the picture) : The lips, do you notice the
lips, so sure, so soft? And the eye. An eye that sees, an eye
that looks out upon the world and lives. (Very softly) Which
one of you?
FRANCISCO : We do not know, Master. It wasn't one of us.
MURILLO (Not Clustering now, but very gentle) : No, it was not
one of you. You are good children. You work hard, but you
are only children learning to daub. This — this is the work of
a great artist. There is a holy light in the eyes and a soul hides
in the curve of the lips. Someone there is who paints warts that
grow and flies that buzz and legs that travel and eyes that see.
Someone there is who will yet be the Master of us aU. You may
go home, now. I am bewildered. I must think. I am living next
to greatness, and I must think. (Exit MURILLO. The students
gather around the portrait.)
RICARDO: I wonder who it could be?
HERNANDO: I still think it was Enrico Calles playing a joke on
the Master.
CARMEN: No, not he. The Master would know his work, and
besides, Enrico could not paint an eye that lives, or even a fly
in a soup bowl.
ROSITTA : I think it is the work of a Saint. I think it is a miracle.
(Crosses herself.) I think it is the good God.
FRANCISCO : It might be. It frightens me, it is so strange.
HERNANDO: Pooh ! It doesn't frighten me. It is a joke to plague the
Master.
RICARDO: What did he mean about the wart on the Duchess's
nose?
CARMEN : She has a wart, you know. She tries to hide it, but she
has a wart just the same.
ROSITTA : No one dares to mention it, though, at least not when
she's around.
FRANCISCO: That's just it, the Master wouldn't paint the wart
even if it is there.
HERNANDO: Let's look. (They all run to the portrait which.-
MURILLO covered when the DUCHESS left. HERNANDO yanks the
cover off.) See, see, there it is.
260 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
RICARDO: It's right. It's just exactly right. (SEBASTION enters
unnoticed and watches the group. He is eating an apple.)
CARMEN : Oh, ho, ho, ho ! My, she must have been furious. Just
furious.
SEBASTION : She was. She was as mad as an old alley cat caught
in the rain. (All turn when SEBASTION speaks.)
ROSITTA: Did you see it?
SEBASTION : Yes, I was there all the time.
ROSITTA: Tell us about it, Sebastion. What did she do? Did she
scream ? They say she screams when she's mad. Do tell us, Se-
bastion.
ALL: Yes, yes, Sebastion. Do it for us; how was it?
SEBASTION: Well, it was very funny. I almost broke in two,
laughing, it was so funny.
ROSITTA : Don't tease us, Sebastion, tell us.
SEBASTION : I will, but it was so funny I laugh all the time. Ha, ha !
CARMEN : Oh, Sebastion, please !
SEBASTION (He acts the story out as he tells it. It is a caricature) :
I was standing in the doorway and the Duchess sat up in the
posing chair. You know how the Duchess is, like this. (Sits in
chair.) The Master is down there painting, and I think that the
Duchess knew about the wart all the time because she was very
grim. Well the Master was so busy painting he didn't even
notice the wart until the Duchess said, "Seiior Murillo, is there
a wart upon my soul?" (All of the children laugh.) "But no,"
says the Master, "in all Castile there is no soul like the Duch-
ess's. It is a soul so pure, so bright." Then the Duchess gets
up and goes down to the easel and says, pointing to the wart,
"Is this a drop of gold? (Laughter.) Is it an angel with silver
wings? (More laughter.) No and no and no ! It is a wart and
it is on my nose !"
CARMEN : Oh, my goodness. Ho, ho, ho ! My mother will love this.
HERNANDO: What did the Master do?
SEBASTION : The Master said, "But I did not paint it."
HERNANDO : That's just what I said.
RICARDO: Then what did the Duchess do?
SEBASTION : Why, she got just as mad as could be and said, "But
the wart is there." And the Master said, "But I did not paint
it." And she said, "Who did?" And the Master said, "I don't
know." And she said, "You are a liar."
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 261
ROSITTA: She did? She really did?
SEBASTION: She certainly did. And the Master got very, very
angry and said that, anyway, she did have a wart on her nose,
and it looked just like that. She said her husband would kill the
Master, and then she ran at him and tried to scratch his eyes out,
but the Master picked up a chair and hit her over the head with
it like a matador. Then they had the most dreadful fight you
ever saw.
RICARDO: And then what happened?
SEBASTION : Well the Duchess's husband came in with six armed
guards and they rushed at the Master. The Master drew his
sword and fought them. All the time the Duchess was screech-
ing and screaming like a wildcat The Master killed one of the
servants and wounded two others, and then you came in, and
they all flew out the window, and that's the last I saw of them.
(He sits down.)
FRANCISCO : He fought seven men.
SEBASTION : Yes, sir, seven men. I tell you it was better than a
bull fight.
ROSITTA : I guess the Duchess won't come here any more.
HERNANDO : Oh, yes, she will. They're always having fights. But
seven against one. Whew!
RICARDO: I don't see any blood.
CARMEN : Of course not, silly. Do you think the Master would
leave his studio looking like a bull ring?
ROSITTA: But who did paint the wart?
HERNANDO: Yes, who did paint the wart and the fly and the
horse's leg and the portrait?
CARMEN: The Master says that whoever it was, he is a great
artist.
SEBASTION: Did he really? You're joking.
ALL: No, no. He really did.
RICARDO : He said whoever did it would be the Master of us all.
FRANCISCO: Who did it, Sebastion?
SEBASTION: Don't you know?
ROSITTA: No. Do tell us.
SEBASTION: Promise not to tell?
ALL : Yes, yes. We promise. We won't tell.
SEBASTION : Well, every night just as the clock strikes midnight,
a spirit comes here.
262 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
CARMEN: A spirit?
SEBASTION : Yes, sir, a spirit.
ROSITTA: I told you it was a Saint.
FRANCISCO : I don't like spirits. I'm frightened.
HERNANDO: Cry baby. What is it like, Sebastion?
SEBASTION : Well, it's about ten feet tall and it has a cloak of silver
cloth,
CARMEN : I always thought spirits wore black.
SEBASTION: Oh, no! A spirit can wear anything it pleases. The
spirit comes right through the wall, right over there and looks
around and then starts to paint. Sometimes he paints portraits
and sometimes he plays jokes — like the wart and the fly. But
generally he just sits on the chair and looks around, sort of
hungry.
CARMEN: Sort of hungry?
HERNANDO : How long has he been coming?
SEBASTION : Oh, for a long time. As long as I can remember.
RICARDO : Is he really ten feet tall?
SEBASTION : I guess he's ten feet tall. Do you know whose spirit.
he is?
ALL: No. Whose? Tell us, Sebastion.
SEBASTION ( Very mysteriously and in a loud whisper) : Velasquez.
ALL: Oh! (Long and drawn out.)
RICARDO: That explains everything.
HERNANDO : I guess he is the Master of us all.
CARMEN : I'd like to see him.
SEBASTION : Just come here at midnight and you'll see him.
ROSITTA : I'd be scared.
CARMEN (Starting for the door) : I'm going home and tell my
mother.
SEBASTION : You'd all better go if you're going to get any dinner.
HERNANDO: I wouldn't be afraid of any old spirit. (They start
to go.)
FRANCISCO: Just think, he's ten feet tall!
RICARDO: Goodbye, Sebastion.
SEBASTION: Goodbye. (To ROSITTA, who has lingered after the
others) Aren't you going, too?
ROSITTA: Yes, I'm going, but I wanted to give you something
first.
SEBASTION : Me? Give me something?
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 263
ROSITTA : Yes, I — I wanted to bring you something. (She takes
an orange out of a bag.) Here.
SEBASTION : Oh, thank you ! My goodness, thank you very much !
Why?
ROSITTA: Why what?
SEBASTION: Why did you bring me this orange?
ROSITTA : Oh, just because.
SEBASTION: Because why? You don't just bring people things.
There's always a reason.
ROSITTA (She says nothing for a moment, just stares at her feet
and then she says) : Because I'm sorry you're a slave and I like
you. So there, now. (She starts to run, but SEBASTION runs
after her and catches her.)
SEBASTION: Sorry for me?
ROSITTA: Yes.
SEBASTION : Well, you don't need to be.
ROSITTA: Do you like being a slave?
SEBASTION : No, I don't like it, but there isn't anything I can do
about it, and in some ways I like it.
ROSITTA : I don't see how you could like it.
SEBASTION : No, I know you don't. It's like this. There are lots
of things that I understand that nobody else understands just
because I am a slave.
ROSITTA: What?
SEBASTION : What does it mean to be free?
ROSITTA : Why it means — it means — why I don't know, it just
means being free.
SEBASTION : There, you see. You don't know what freedom means.
But I do. I know better than anybody else. Better than you or
Carmen or Ricardo or the Master or the Duchess.
ROSITTA : Yes, but you have to do what the Master tells you, and
you have to work all the time.
SEBASTION : Oh, that ! That doesn't really matter. It's the way you
feel way down deep inside that counts.
ROSITTA: I'm still sorry that you're a slave.
SEBASTION : Don't be sorry, because someday I'll be free.
ROSITTA: I hope so, Sebastion. I must go now. (She starts to go.)
SEBASTION : Thank you for the orange. Good-bye.
ROSITTA: Good-bye. (Exit ROSITTA. SEBASTION watches her go
and then hurriedly sets about getting out paints and brushes.
264 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
Then he goes over to the unknown portrait and, after studying it
for a few minutes, begins to paint. After a short time has passed,
his father enters. He stands behind the boy, watching and
then —)
CARLOS: How goes it, my son?
SEBASTION (Turning quickly) : Father. How quietly you came.
CARLOS : I didn't want the Master to see me.
SEBASTION : I didn't think you were coming.
CARLOS : I was lucky. The Mistress has gone out for lunch and
there wasn't anything for me to do in the kitchen. How does
it go?
SEBASTION : Pretty well. I don't seem to get the chin just right,
though.
CARLOS : Hmmm. It isn't just right, is it? But it will come.
SEBASTION : Yes, I know it will. It is strange how it happens.
Sometimes it comes all of a sudden and I see just what I want
to paint as clear as the dew in the morning. Like the eyes.
CARLOS : Yes. The eyes are the way I had hoped they would be.
What did you do to them?
SEBASTION : Why, nothing except paint what I saw.
CARLOS : What did you see? Tell me. Tell me. When you looked
into my eyes, what did you see? Was it an old man, an old slave?
(CARLOS is very earnest and almost afraid when he asks this.)
SEBASTION : Why, no, that wasn't what I saw.
CARLOS: What, then? Tell me.
SEBASTION : Why I saw — (Slowly at first, gathering momentum)
I saw the wide horizons of the desert that you have told me
about. I saw the great blue of the summer sky and heard the
wild thunder of eagles' wings. I saw the gay dancing of the sil-
ver sea with white sails from the ends of the earth. I saw the
cold horsemen of the stars wheel and charge across the empty
night. Hard over the world they rode, to meet the blazing
spearmen of the sun.
CARLOS : And what else, what else did you see?
SEBASTION : Oh, many things. Things that have no beginning and
no end, like an endless torch burning in the night.
CARLOS (Seising him fiercely) : Then you know, you know. (Tri-
umphantly.)
SEBASTION : Yes, Father, I know. I know better than anyone else.
CARLOS: May Allah be praised! I was afraid, so terribly afraid.
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 265
SEBASTION: Afraid of what?
CARLOS: Afraid that born to slavery you would never know the
holy fire that burns in the hearts of all men who have tasted
freedom. But you know ; my heart is at rest. Finish the chin,
my son. Allah is good. (Goes and sits in the posing chair.)
SEBASTION (Softly) : Yes, Father, Allah is good. (Starts to paint
again. After a minute MURILLO comes in very quietly and stands
watching SEBASTION work. By one's and two's the students come
and stand gasing in wonder as SEBASTION works. Finally
MURILLO speaks.)
MURILLO : Boy — (SEBASTION turns quickly and CARLOS jumps up
from the chair. There should be a pause before SEBASTION
answers.)
SEBASTION : Yes, Master,
MURILLO: So, you are the one.
SEBASTION (Barely audible) : Yes, Master.
MURILLO (Walks over and looks at the portrait) : Who is thy
master?
SEBASTION : None but you, Master.
MURILLO: Thy teacher, boy, who was thy teacher?
SEBASTION : None but Murillo, Master.
MURILLO : Enough of this. I have never taught you so much as a
single stroke. Never. But this, this is the work of a master.
CARLOS : Believe him, sir.
MURILLO : Silence, old man. I will tend to you in good time. As
for you, (Turns to SEBASTION) give me the truth or I will
scourge thy back till the red blood runs. Who is thy teacher?
SEBASTION (He does not answer immediately, and then with his
head up) : None but Murillo, Master.
MURILLO (Moves as if to seize him) : So, you would lie, you
would make sport of Murillo.
CARLOS: He speaks the truth, Master. No one but Murillo has
been his teacher. Believe me, Master. Day after day, month
after month he has watched and learned. Watched when you
knew not that he was watching and stolen the midnight hours to
practice your craft. You, Master, have been his teacher and
only you.
MURILLO (Thoughtfully) : Is it so, Sebastion?
SEBASTION : It is so, Master.
MURILLO (Turns away and goes to portrait of the DUCHESS and
266 THE DAY IS BRIGHT
talks aloud to himself) : A wart such as only Murillo could paint.
A fly that drinks at the soup. A leg that travels as only Murillo
could make it travel. (Turns suddenly on SEBASTION) I should
have you beaten, beaten, do you understand? Coming here like
a thief in the night to bewilder and plague me. Why did you
paint a wart on the Duchess's nose?
SEBASTION : There is a wart on the Duchess's nose, Master.
MURILLO: Why did you paint an extra leg on Hernando's horse?
SEBASTION: I was afraid lest it fell over, Master.
MURILLO : A joker. A bothersome infidel joker. What to do with
you I know not. A slave you have always been, a good skve,
too, and yet you have been no slave at all. You have talent, per-
haps great talent, but you insult my clients, baffle my pupils and
throw my studio into an uproar. You are my slave, my slave,
don't you understand — my property to do with as I please, and
yet you're as free as the Northern star. (Turns to the students)
What shall it be, reward or punishment?
ALL: Reward, reward!
ROSITTA : He is of the good God, Master. Reward it should be.
MURILLO (Slowly, thoughtfully) : Yes, Rositta, he is of the good
God. Reward it shaU be. (To SEBASTION) Well then, lad, speak
up, name thy desire and it shall be yours.
CARMEN : Ask for lessons, Sebastion. Ask to be the Master's pupil.
HERNANDO: The Master will make you rich, Sebastion. Ask for
wealth.
ROSITTA : No, no, Sebastion. Ask for freedom. Ask the Master
to set you free.
MURILLO (When SEBASTION fails to answer) : Speak up, lad,
speak up ! There is no one here to do you harm. What would
you have?
SEBASTION (Suddenly kneeling and in a soft, desperate voice) :
Master — Oh, Master, make my father free.
MURILLO : Thy father, eh !
SEBASTION : Yes, Master, make my father free.
MURILLO : Yes, lad, thy father and thyself. What little freedom it
is mine to give, I gladly bestow on you both. But that is only
freedom of the body. The larger freedom, the freedom that lives
in the soul and travels the highways of the universe, that belongs
to the God that made you.
SEBASTION (Turns slowly to his father) : Well, Father?
THE DAY IS BRIGHT 267
CARLOS : My heart is at rest, my son, Allah is good.
MURILLO (After a moment, while the children stare and stare at
CARLOS and SEBASTION) : What are you staring at? Do you see
a ghost? To your easels, all of you ! (To SEBASTION) Come, my
son, let us look at the chin. It is late and we have work to do.
SEBASTION: Yes, Master. There is much work to do. (Goes with
MURILLO to the portrait of his father.)
THE END
A LETTER TO LINCOLN
by Lindsey Barbee
Characters
MRS. BAXTER
MEDORA |
ELLEN i- her daughters
CAROLINE I
SARAH, a neighbor
MEDORA, a namesake
BETTY
TIME : 1862.
SETTING: Sitting room in an old Maryland house.
AT RISE : MRS. BAXTER is on the settee t knitting. ELLEN is stand-
ing at the window. CAROLINE is on the floor with scraps of silk,
workbox, etc. MEDORA is curled up in the large chair, reading.
ELLEN : What is the Mason and Dixon line, mother?
MRS. BAXTER : A division between Pennsylvania and Maryland.
ELLEN : A real division ?
MRS. BAXTER: A real division. (Laughs) It isn't a wire fence,
Ellen — but it's there.
ELLEN : Are all the people on one side of the line southern, and on
the other side, northern?
MRS. BAXTER : Something like that, I'm afraid.
ELLEN : We're on the southern side, aren't we?
MRS. BAXTER : Yes, we are.
ELLEN : (Coming to the settee) : But my father was on the other
side of the line.
MRS. BAXTER : Yes. (Pauses') The other side of the line.
ELLEN : He fought for the north.
MRS. BAXTER: And died, Ellen.
268
A LETTER TO LINCOLN 269
ELLEN : Mother, did you want to come back to this house?
MRS. BAXTER : It's my girlhood home, Ellen, and grandfather, be-
fore his death, wished us to come back.
ELLEN : I like it here.
MRS. BAXTER : I like it, too. And now it will be our home forever
and ever. (Suddenly) Pick up your scraps, Caroline.
CAROLINE : I'm making a dress for my doll, Mary Todd Lincoln.
MRS. BAXTER: Suppose you finish it tomorrow morning.
MEDORA (Suddenly screaming) : They just can't do it — they
can't.
MRS. BAXTER: Medora! Can't do — what?
MEDORA: Sell Uncle Tom.
CAROLINE: Who's Uncle Tom?
MEDORA : He's a slave in this book, and they're going to sell him
to the man who'll pay most for him. (Runs to MRS. BAXTER)
Oh — Mother!
MRS. BAXTER: Hush, Medora. There are some things that little
girls do not understand.
MEDORA : I understand that it's wrong to have slaves and that it
is wicked to sell them.
MRS. BAXTER : You are living in the South, Medora.
ELLEN : And this is a dreadful book, Medora. Everybody says so.
(Takes book from MEDORA.) Uncle Tom's Cabin.
MEDORA: It isn't dreadful. It's true. (Takes back book.)
MRS. BAXTER: Put it away, Medora. Nobody here will understand
just why you're reading it.
MEDORA : But I'm from the North.
MRS. BAXTER : Remember that we're living in the South. (Pauses)
And that makes all the difference in the world.
MEDORA : Just the same, I'll do everything I can to help the slaves.
MRS. BAXTER: Hush. Hush.
ELLEN : Just what could you do, Medora?
MEDORA: I could — I could — (With a half sob) Oh, I wish I
could see Mr. Lincoln.
MRS. BAXTER (Rising) : Let's go to bed, Caroline.
CAROLINE (Holding out the doll) : Isn't Mary Todd Lincoln just
lovely in her new dress?
MRS. BAXTER : Very lovely. Suppose we call her Miss Dixie.
CAROLINE : But that isn't her name.
MRS. BAXTER: We'll talk about it tomorrow. (Crosses to left) I'll
be back shortly, girls. (Goes out with CAROLINE)
270 A LETTER TO LINCOLN
ELLEN (Once more at the window) : Oh, there's Sarah! (Knocks
on window) She's coming in. (Runs to right and opens door)
Sarah! (SARAH enters)
SARAH : It's cold, girls — and it's beginning to snow.
MEDORA: Come over here and get warm. (The two cross to fire)
ELLEN (Clapping her hands) : Maybe we'll have a real snow
storm — like the ones we had up north.
SARAH : We're going back — I mean father, mother and I —
MEDORA: Back where?
SARAH : To New York. That's our home. My father has finished
his business here.
MEDORA : I wish we could go, too.
ELLEN : Why, Medora ! This is our home — our home for always.
MEDORA: I don't want to live in a place where there are slaves.
(Catches up her book from hassock.)
SARAH: What's that?
MEDORA: Uncle Tom's Cabin.
SARAH : Better not let anyone see you reading it.
MEDORA: Just why?
SARAH : It's not a popular book here. You see, I've lived here for
a year and I know what I'm talking about.
MEDORA : I can't- bear to have them sell Uncle Tom.
SARAH : It's just a story.
MEDORA : But it's happening all the time — other places — other
slaves.
SARAH : It's happening right here.
MEDORA: What do you mean?
SARAH : Cassie — she's our servant, you know — told me that
there are two runaway slaves here in this town.
MEDORA: Here — in — this — town?
SARAH: Hiding. Hiding in an old cellar.
ELLEN : Oh — how — terrible !
SARAH : Their master is hunting them — and if he finds them —
ELLEN : What will happen?
SARAH : They'll be beaten — and dragged back — and maybe
killed
MEDORA (Bitterly) : Not if they're good workers.
SARAH : Medora ! What is the matter ? You look so — wild — and
fierce.
MEDORA: I am fierce. And I'm wishing for Abraham Lincoln.
A LETTER TO LINCOLN 271
SARAH: Just why are you wishing for Abraham Lincoln?
MEDORA: Because he'd tell me some way that I could help him.
ELLEN: Help him? Medora, you do talk so strangely.
MEDORA : Yes — that's just what I mean. Help him.
SARAH : We're close to the borderline, you know.
ELLEN : Yes, we know.
SARAH : And if the slaves could get across the line, they'd be safe.
ELLEN (Gaily) : Come, let's forget all about it.
SARAH (Walking around) : This is a nice old house, isn't it?
ELLEN : I love it — and it was my mother's home.
SARAH (At mantel) : Lafayette carried these candlesticks once
upon a time.
ELLEN: How do you know?
SARAH : Your grandfather told me. (Pauses) Since I was a neigh-
bor, he told me — oh, ever so many things about the house.
ELLEN : Tell us. For we haven't been here very long.
SARAH (In a whisper) : There's a secret passage — or tunnel —
MEDORA: No!
SARAH: Yes!
MEDORA: Are you sure?
SARAH : Your grandfather told me.
ELLEN : What good is it?
SARAH : Oh, it was used a long time ago — maybe in the Revolu-
tionary War — or was it the French and Indian war? I forget.
But, anyway, it was used.
MEDORA : Where does the tunnel go?
SARAH : Into a sort of cave.
ELLEN : Oh — how — exciting !
SARAH : And the cave is in another state. Did you ever hear of
anything so strange?
MEDORA : What state ?
SARAH : Pennsylvania. (Pauses) You see, our little town is close
to the line.
MEDORA (Rushing to SARAH) : Do you know how to find this
secret passage?
SARAH : Of course I do. (Pushes MEDORA) Don't get so excited,
Medora.
MEDORA : Then — tell us.
SARAH : It's right before you.
ELLEN: Where?
272 A LETTER TO LINCOLN
SARAH : Right before you. (At fireplace) Do you see this funny
little knob?
MEDORA : Of course we see it.
SARAH : Then — press. (MEDORA presses)
MEDORA : Nothing happens.
SARAH : Let's both press. (As the side of the fireplace begins to
move) There!
ELLEN (Looking inside) : It's dark!
SARAH : Of course it's dark.
ELLEN : It smells damp — and feels cold — and —
SARAH : Why shouldn't it be? (MEDORA walks slowly to center and
stands motionless, her eyes wide, her arms crossed before her.)
ELLEN: Medora! What's the matter ?
SARAH : Medora! (After a moment) Are you — thinking — just
— what — I — am — thinking?
MEDORA (Holding out her hand to SARAH) : I'm sure that I am.
(Pauses) Shall we do it?
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same, the next morning.
AT RISE : MRS. BAXTER is moving restlessly around the room.
CAROLINE with her doll is on the hassock.
MRS. BAXTER: Where are the girls?
CAROLINE : They went over to Sarah's.
MRS. BAXTER : But it's snowing.
CAROLINE : Not much of a snow. (Pauses) I don't think it's any
kind of a snow.
MRS. BAXTER: But why should they go before breakfast?
CAROLINE : I don't know, mother, I really don't know. (Begins to
cry)
A LETTER TO LINCOLN 273
MRS. BAXTER: What is it, dear? (Goes to her)
CAROLINE : It's Miss Dixie. I don't like her.
MRS, BAXTER : Why, I think she's a beautiful dolly.
CAROLINE : But she's really Mary Todd Lincoln, and she shouldn't
have another name.
MRS. BAXTER (Quickly) : Then she shall be Mary Todd Lincoln.
CAROLINE: That's what she started out to be. (The door at right
opens, and MEDORA and ELLEN enter, wearing their heavy coats
and hats.)
MRS. BAXTER : Girls ! Where have you been?
CAROLINE : And why did you want to go out before breakfast?
MEDORA : Because I had to send a letter.
ELLEN : And because we had important business with Sarah.
MRS. BAXTER : You're acting rather — mysterious — girls.
ELLEN : But we can explain everything, Mother — and explain it
very well, indeed. (MRS. BAXTER sits on settee with MEDORA
on one side and ELLEN on the other.)
MRS. BAXTER : I was wakeful last night. Perhaps I was riervous —
but I imagined all sorts of things.
MEDORA: Things?
MRS. BAXTER: Noises.
CAROLINE : I heard them, too.
MEDORA: We opened the secret passage, Mother. (CAROLINE sits
at their feet.)
MRS. BAXTER: How did you know about the secret passage?
ELLEN : Sarah told us.
MEDORA : And she also told us that there were two runaway slaves
right here in the town hiding in a cellar.
MRS. BAXTER: Go on.
MEDORA : And Sarah said that the tunnel ended in a little cave —
MRS. BAXTER (Quickly) : In another state.
MEDORA : Yes — in another state. (Pauses) A free state.
ELLEN : Did you know about it, Mother?
MRS. BAXTER: Yes, I knew about it.
MEDORA : Sarah and I had the same idea at the same moment.
MRS. BAXTER : Go on.
MEDORA : It was — why not put these poor, frightened slaves in a
place that would lead them right into freedom.
MRS. BAXTER: So, what did you do?
ELLEN : We packed a lunch and found some warm clothes.
274 A LETTER TO LINCOLN
MEDORA : And Sarah gave them candles and matches.
ELLEN : Then we opened the tunnel and started them on their way.
MEDORA : They were very grateful, Mother. (For a moment there
is silence.)
ELLEN (Anxiously) : Mother, are you angry?
MRS. BAXTER: No — I'm not angry.
MEDORA : Aren't you sure that we did the right thing?
MRS. BAXTER : Yes, I'm sure. I'm quite sure.
MEDORA: And today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. (Sighs)
That makes it quite wonderful.
CAROLINE: You wanted to do something for him, didn't you?
MEDORA : I have done something. We all have.
CAROLINE: And it will be a lovely birthday present.
ELLEN: Tell Mother about the letter, Medora.
MEDORA : I wrote it early this morning.
MRS. BAXTER: A letter — to President Lincoln?
MEDORA : Of course. It's his birthday.
MRS. BAXTER : And what did you say in the letter?
MEDORA : I made a copy for you, Mother. (Goes to desk, takes pa-
per and reads.)
"Dear President Lincoln :
"I am a little girl who lives close to the Mason and Dixon line.
We have a secret tunnel in our house that leads into another
state, and my sister, a neighbor and I have sent two runaway
slaves through this tunnel into safety. We did this, not only
because we wanted to remember your birthday in some way that
you would like, but because you are such a wise man, President
Lincoln; you are so good and kind to everybody that we think
you're also a very great man.
"And this is your birthday gift.
"Your friend,
"MEDORA BAXTER/'
ELLEN: It's a lovely letter, isn't it, mother?
MRS. BAXTER : It's a very lovely letter, Medora dear, and it will
make President Lincoln very happy.
ELLEN: Will he answer it, Medora?
MEDORA : I think that he will.
MRS. BAXTER : He's a busy man, Medora.
MEDORA : But he is never too busy to be kind.
ELLEN : It will be — wonderful — to hear from him.
A LETTER TO LINCOLN 275
MEDORA : And when the letter comes, I shall hide it away in the
secret drawer of my desk.
ELLEN : That's foolish.
MEDORA : Oh, no, it isn't. (Pauses) For on some day 'way off in
the future, somebody will touch the little spring that opens the
drawer and will find the letter tucked away in the desk. (Softly)
The letter signed Abraham Lincoln.
CURTAIN
SCENE 3
TIME: February 12.
AT RISE : MEDORA is at the window and BETTY has just picked up
a knitting bag, settling herself comfortably on the settee.
MEDORA : Oh, I'm going to love this place.
BETTY : It's all right in its way, but it's terribly old-fashioned.
MEDORA : Who wants a family home that isn't old-fashioned?
BETTY: How long ago was it built?
MEDORA : Oh, years and years ago — 'way back to the Revolution.
BETTY : Oh, it must have been patched up as time went by — for
it's livable.
MEDORA : Of course it's been patched up.
BETTY : Just the same, I shouldn't want to live here all the time.
MEDORA : I'd like it. I think it's wonderful.
BETTY: Just how did this house come to us?
MEDORA : Betty, you're not a bit interested in family history.
BETTY: No, I'm not.
MEDORA: Why, it belonged to great-great-great — oh,. so many
greats — Aunt Medora Baxter. (Sighs) I'm so proud that her
name has come down to me.
BETTY: I'd rather be Elizabeth than Medora.
MEDORA : Then we're both satisfied (Sits by BETTY) Do you re-
member about the secret in the room?
BETTY: What are you talking about?
MEDORA : It's come down through all the years that there is a se-
cret in this room.
276 A LETTER TO LINCOLN
BETTY : Strange that nobody's found it out.
MEDORA : Not strange at all. It was Aunt Medora's secret.
BETTY : What has that to do with it?
MEDORA : Lots. She said she had left something in this room.
BETTY: Where did you get all this?
MEDORA : If you'd had any interest in your ancestors, Betty, you'd
know that it's been a sort of tradition — Aunt Medora's secret.
BETTY : Then run along and find out about it. I'm counting stitches.
MEDORA: I'll finish my letter. (Goes to desk. For a moment there
is silence. BETTY knits and MEDORA settles down to her letter.
Then suddenly she cries out.)
BETTY: What is it?
MEDORA: I touched something sharp. Why, it's a little knob —
and — and (Her voice trails into nothingness.)
BETTY: What on earth is the matter?
MEDORA : Something is moving.
BETTY: Moving?
MEDORA : It's a part of the desk. (Excitedly) It's a drawer.
BETTY : Probably got stuck.
MEDORA : It's a drawer — a little, secret drawer. And there's a
paper inside.
BETTY (Crossing to desk) : Let's see. (The two girls bend over
the desk.)
MEDORA : Here it is — the paper.
BETTY : Oh, it's old — very old. It's — yellow.
MEDORA : I'll open it carefully (Crosses with BETTY to center) It's
so old that it's ready to break.
BETTY: Read it.
MEDORA (As she carefully opens the paper) : "Dear Medora Bax-
ter : No one could have a finer birthday gift than the letter that
you sent me. When you helped the poor, frightened slaves to
escape through your secret tunnel, you gave them something that
meant unmeasured happiness to them ; and at the same time you
brought me the loyalty and faith that I am trying so hard and
so humbly to deserve." (Pauses) And it's signed Abraham
Lincoln.
BETTY : Oh — how — wonderful !
MEDORA: Betty, do you know what day it is?
BETTY : Why — why it's February the twelfth.
MEDORA (Softly) : Lincoln's birthday.
THE LINCOLN COAT
by Thelma W. Sealock
Characters
CYNTHIA ROBERTS, the teacher f about 25
JOEY ABRAMS, a little Jewish boy, small and intelligent
ABIE ABRAMS, JOEY'S slightly smaller brother
NELLIE ABRAMS, JOEY'S sister of Junior High age
SARAH ABRAMS, JOEY'S sister of High School age
MR. ABRAMS, JOEY'S father
MRS. ABRAMS, JOEY'S mother, bright but timid and self-effacing
ALEX ABRAMS, the youngest member of the family
OTHER SCHOOL CHILDREN
SCENE 1
TIME : Late in January
SETTING: A schoolroom on the lower East Side of New York City.
AT RISE: The children are standing singing "America." JOEY is
in the front row. He sings lustily titt he reaches "Land where
my fathers died" when he gradually stops. Miss ROBERTS no-
tices and nods as she beats time for the singing. Immediately on
the completion of the singing, he raises his hand.
Miss ROBERTS: What is it, Joey?
JOEY: Could I stay and clean tie 'rasers for you?
Miss R. (Smiling at him) : Yes, Joey, you may if you wish. The
others will please file to the cloak room. (The children file out.
Miss ROBERTS follows and is heard directing them. JOEY stUl sits
staring unseeingly at the board.)
Miss R. (Entering again) : Well, it gets dark early these days,
doesn't it?
JOEY (Abruptly) : Miss Roberts, the song says "Land where my
fathers died," but my father — he's —
277
278 THE LINCOLN COAT
Miss R.: Oh, you didn't understand the song? "Land where my
fathers died" means that this is the country where our grand-
fathers and great-grandfathers fought for their liberty and won
— but some of them died winning it.
JOEY: But "grandfathers," you say? My grandfather died in Rus-
sia many years ago. I know, my Papa tells me. I don't think I
ought to sing it. (Looks at Miss ROBERTS earnestly, twisting
about uncomfortably.)
Miss R. : Oh, but Joey, don't you understand — (Pauses a mo-
ment as she considers how best to explain it.) The song doesn't
mean America alone. Your father's and mother's fathers and
grandfathers fought for liberty in Russia. Your father knows
much more about that history than I do. Don't you see —
(Reaches over and takes his hand into hers) wherever people
have fought and been wounded and died for freedom and liberty
— "America" is their song, too, Joey!
JOEY (His face lighting) : Oh, yes'm. Then — I have the right to
sing it, too.
Miss R. : Yes, indeed, more right than some of us who have lived
here longer.
JOEY (Joyfully) : My — I'm glad ! (He collects the erasers and
exits.)
Miss R. (Watching him) : If more of them only cared! (Goes to
her desk. JOEY returns. He wipes the blackboard, humming
"America" as he works.)
JOEY : Miss Roberts, do you think I could ever be a doctor — like
the Dispensary-man?
Miss R. (Heartily) : Oh, I'm sure you could, Joey. Wouldn't it be
fine to help sick people and make them well again !
JOEY : Yes'm — maybe I could make them grow up and not sell
old clothes.
Miss R. : What do you mean, Joey ?
JOEY : You know — be good Americans and learn ! Sell buildings
and know how to do plumbing and papering.
Miss R. (Smiling a bit behind her hand) : Oh, I see, Joey, you
want them to go into other kinds of work.
JOEY : Yes'm. My Papa wanted to do that only you had to have
lots an' lots of money in Russia, and so he just reads by himself.
Miss R. : Well, I think it's wonderful that he reads and studies
when he couldn't go to school as he wanted to.
THE LINCOLN COAT 279
JOEY (Pausing and turning dramatically) : I bet — I bet one of
the big pink candy rings in Papa's store — I bet you can't guess
what I've done !
Miss R. (In deep thought) : Now let me see. I mustn't lose this.
It might be a party? No. It wouldn't be a new sweater? And
your shoes are just newly mended. QOEY is delightedly watch-
ing and shaking his head at each suggestion. Miss R. pretends to
have suddenly come on the exact thing!) Oh, / know! You've
been reading ahead in history!
JOEY (Gleefully, showing intense excitement): Xo sir! I — I
learned all my Lincoln part for the program on the twelf th !
Miss R. (Great surprise) : You did! Well, for pity's sake! It does
no good to give you the biggest part — you go ahead and do it
ahead of time !
JOEY : Oh but, Miss Roberts, it's such a grand part ! Grand ! I can
— I can say it all while I sleep — I bet I can !
Miss R. (Laughing) : I don't doubt it but I'm pot going to bet
any more today. It reminds me, though — (She puts her papers
aside) I have one of your costumes. Would you get it? It's in
the cloak room — that flat box on the end shelf.
JOEY (Rushing to the door) : Sure, I will. (He is back in an in-
stant with a suit box which he places on the desk top.)
Miss R. : It's the coat to the costume a boy in Miss Jenning's room
wore last year. {She is untying box and getting out a long-tailed
black coat — which will be very long on JOEY.) I thought it
would be all right if it just isn't too terribly big. ( JOEY strips off
his worn old sweater.) Of course I can take it up some. (She
slips it on him. It is big, standing out from his shoulders, es-
pecially long — the tails hang on the floor.)
JOEY (Looking back and down at it admiringly) : My ! It's a grand
coat and so heavy! (He lifts his shoulders as if testing it.)
Teacher — (Touching her sleeve lovingly) I can say all of it! I
don't even read the part he said at the battlefield !
Miss R. : Oh, Joey, you mean you know his Gettysburg Address,
too?
JOEY (Modestly) : Yes'm. I think when such a poor man was so
honest that he got to be President and said grand things about
the poor, dead men and what they'd done, they ought to be
learned !
Miss R. (Arranging coat and trying to pin it more nearly in a fit
280 THE LINCOLN COAT
for small JOEY) : That's wonderful, Joey. I wish all the boys and
girls would remember about his honesty and greatness —
JOEY (Reminiscently) : Remember, too, how he walked so far,
after he was tired, to give the woman her pennies.
Miss R. : Yes, Joey, always be honest as you can be — an upright
man and a good citizen.
JOEY: Yes'm.
Miss R. : My goodness, Joey ! I didn't realize you were so little !
I'll have to take this up a great deal in order to make it so you
can keep it on. (She squeezes him impulsively.) For a ten-year-
old you're small size but you're such a good student, I'd love
having you in my room if you were fifteen ! (She laughs, JOEY
hangs his head.) Why, Joey, what's the matter?
JOEY : Nothin', only I have to go. I have to go home, Teacher. I
feel bad — here. (He places his hand at his throat.)
Miss R. (Alarmed) : Oh, Joey, is your throat sore?
JOEY (Turning away in taking the coat off) : No'm, it — it just
hurts.
Miss R. : Well, you just wait a minute. I'm going to walk home
with you. I have to take the Third Avenue El, anyway.
JOEY (Protestingly, obviously trying to get away from her) : But
— but I have to hurry !
Miss R. (Distressed) : Oh, Joey, why did you stay then? You
didn't need to help ! (Hurries to cloak room and returns with her
coat and hat and a ragged cap and mackinaw of JOEY'S.) Hurry
then — but I'm going, too. (She bundles the costume coat hast-
ily into the box. JOEY watches wistfully.)
JOEY: Teacher, could I carry it — the Lincoln coat?
Miss R. (Seems about to protest but sees his eagerness and con-
sents) : All right, but it's awfully heavy. (They go off as the cur-
tain falls.)
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Same as Scene 1, three days later, at noon.
AT RISE: Children are heard outside the room, marching, then
THE LINCOLN COAT 281
calling and whistling back and forth. Miss ROBERTS is sitting at
her desk. She looks worried and runs her hand over her fore-
head — somewhat absent-mindedly.
Miss ROBERTS : Oh, dear, I wonder what could be the matter. It's
three days! (ABIE, JOEY'S brother, edges in at the hall door.
Miss R. turns and sees him eyeing her.) Hello.
ABIE (Turns his cap nervously. Looks toward her and away.) :
Joey's sick!
Miss R. : Oh, is he? Are you Joey's brother? I've just wondered
and wondered about him.
ABIE: Yes'm, he's sick.
Miss R. : Does he have a cold? He spoke about his throat hurting
him.
ABIE (Eagerly) : No'm. It's no cold Joey's got !
Miss R. (Anxiously) : Did your father and mother have a doctor
see him?
ABIE (Importantly) : Yes'm. I ran to the dispensary the first
morning. The lady said, "Doc's not here." I waited and I missed
school. (Triumphantly) But I got him!
Miss R. (Impatiently) : Oh, do tell me what he said!
ABIE: He says Joey's not so strong (Miss R. nods), but because
he talked crazy all night, he says it's much more worser'n a
cold.
Miss R. : You say he talked "crazy." What did he say?
ABIE (Shifts uneasily) : Oh, only some of the time could I tell
what he was saying.
Miss R. : You mean, he didn't talk the way he did when he was
awake?
ABIE: No'm, he said speeches and told me he walked through the
snow to give you pennies !
Miss R. : Oh, he had the Lincoln program on his mind — but
surely he wasn't worried about it.
ABIE (Shifting about again) : Please — I'm — Papa comes to
see you.
Miss R. : Oh, he's coming this noon?
ABIE: Yes'm. (A discreet knock sounds at the door.) That's Papa
now ! (He rushes to the hall door and opens it to disclose PAPA
ABRAMS, a small man, shabby but neat, who bows with real
courtesy.)
MR. ABRAMS: This is Joey's teacher? (To ABIE)
282 THE LINCOLN COAT
Miss R. (Cordially) : Yes! Come in, Mr. Abrams. I'm so anxious
to talk with you. Abie has been telling me — (Pulls a chair out
toward him.)
MR. A. (Pulls ABIE'S ear affectionately) : Many things, eh?
Miss R. : Do tell me, Mr. Abrams, how is Joey? Is he very ill?
And just what is wrong?
MR. A. (Sits down, puts hat on floor, with a book in it. Sighs
deeply.) : Joey, that boy ! He is very sick. The man from the —
the — (ABIE supplies 'dispensary*) says it is bad — bad. I
think Joey thinks too much of something — I don't know what.
He talks of speeches and makes them. Oh, he says such grand
words, Miss Roberts (Looks at her and sighs.), grand —
Miss R.: Do you think he is worried about school? Maybe I
shouldn't have asked him to take the biggest part in our Lincoln
program.
MR. A. : No, Miss Roberts, it is not your mistake. I am sure of it.
It is a worry —
Miss R.: What are the things he says, Mr. Abrams?
MR. A. : Oh, he tells about Mr. Lincoln, and then he says he is the
most honest of all. Then he cries to his Papa — to me — to be
honest. Only the honest man, he says, is great and then he be-
gins the speeches again. Mostly he says — "we cannot forget
what they did here," and then he cries and cries. (MR. A. is
becoming more worked up as he speaks. He wipes his eyes.)
Miss R. : That's what he learned — part of what he learned, I
mean. Our program is February twelfth, you know, and we were
planning to show parts of Lincoln's life. Joey was to be pres-
ident!
MR. A. : Oh that Joey, how happy he was ! His Mama says — oh
Abie, Mama says to run straight home ! ( ABIE starts out) We
do our best. It is not like Russia. I want them all to have school
— and seven — sometimes it is hard to feed from the store. It is
but a small store.
Miss R. : Mr. Abrams, I think it's wonderful that you are so in-
terested in having your children go to school. So many parents
seem only to want to put their children in the factories as soon
as possible.
MR. A. (Sadly) : No, Miss Roberts. I see plenty where I live.
My boys and girls have a chance. My Sarah is already in the
THE LINCOLN COAT 283
higher school, Nellie will go there soon. Then Joey and Abie
and Alex — they shall all go.
Miss R. : That's certainly fine. Joey is so bright and quick — al-
though he's so small !
MR. A. (Confidentially') : Miss Roberts, I need to say something.
It is only that Joey loves you that I can say it. When Mama and
the children come to me here I did a wrong.
Miss R. : Why, what do you mean, Mr. Abrams ? Have you been
unhappy?
MR. A. (The inherent fineness of a truly fine Jewish parent comes
out.) : Miss Roberts, it is what we hope for always — but I do
not know. Maybe these people will not like a Jewish man to
have a store. So — I make sure Sarah and Nellie and Joey and
Abie have the chance ! Fourteen is the age for a boy or girl to
go to work. I tell the man that my children — each is two years
younger. (His emotion is great here. One should feel that he
has to think in order not to have his words and word-order con-
fused.)
Miss R.: Why, you mean Joey is twelve instead of ten?
MR. A. : Yes, Miss Roberts. His own Papa tells a lie that he shall
learn two years more!
Miss R. (Looking at him with increasing admiration) : Oh, Mr.
Abrams, that was wonderful of you ! Of course, it wasn't strict-
ly right — (With a little smile to soften her words) because you
know the schools — and everything — would be dreadfully
mixed up if everyone gave his children's ages wrong. But I un-
derstand your reasons — and your feelings, and / don't think
you were wrong. You were just vety kind to your children !
MR. A. (Brightening) : Is it — if Joey's teacher can think it is
not all bad then I maybe — (He bows his head and sighs) Joey
makes such speeches all the nights. I am worried more and
more. It hurts me,
Miss R. : Oh, but Mr. Abrams, you did a beautiful thing for your
children, when they were young and helpless. You must love
them all very greatly. Joey speaks so lovingly of you and of his
mother.
MR. A. (More happily) : I am mos' happy to tell you. I had to
know what you would feel. (Frown grows on his forehead.) If
— if Joey is well again. He reads — we talk together.
Miss R. : Might I come around this evening after school to see
him?
284 THE LINCOLN COAT
MR. A. (Bowing and smiling) : Yes — yes, Joey's teacher — he
would be made happy seeing you. (He rises to go.)
Miss R.: Then I'll come right after three-thirty.
MR. A. (Discovers book he has put in his hat. Is disturbed and
drops it. They both reach for it and bump heads) : Oh, Miss —
is terrible — Joey's teacher —
Miss R. (Laughing) : Oh, that's nothing, Mr. Abrams — nothing!
MR. A. : This is your book. Joey says it is yours.
Miss R. : Yes, it's the one from which he learned his part. He
told me he had it all learned.
MR. A. : Yes'm and he says — "Tell her a note — " he says.
Miss R.: He sent me a note? How nice!
MR. A. (As he backs toward the hall door) : You will come this
day — and the bump —
Miss R.: Yes, indeed, and I'm so glad you came, Mr. Abrams.
So gkd! Goodbye.
MR. A. : Goodbye, Miss. (Miss R. leafs through the book and soon
finds the note. She reads it aloud.)
Miss R.: "Dear Teacher: Please have some other boy wear the
Lincoln Coat. I will not be the President. It hurts me. It hurts
my Papa, too. With love, Joey Abrams." Now Sherlock, go to
work! (She studies the note. A bell rings outside.) Oh yes,
the playground and cafeteria must be supervised! But Joey —
I will find what is wrong. I will. I must! (She exits as curtain
folk.-)
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The Abrams* living room.
AT RISE : JOEY lies on a couch at left, carefully covered. He is
asleep. The youngest Abrams child slides in and out, an all-day
sucker in hand. MAMA ABRAMS comes from the kitchen to see
if JOEY is covered. PAPA ABRAMS comes in from the store.)
THE LINCOLN COAT 285
MR. A. (In a low voice) : You think he is better, Mama?
MRS. A. : Oh, Papa — seems he don't want to get well ! (She
wipes her eyes on her apron. He pats her shoulder and takes
her hand in his.)
MR. A.: Now Katrinza, no worryings helps it. The man, you
know, comes to see Joey — he says no worryings !
MRS. A. (Sighs) : Well, maybe teacher makes him more happy —
when she comes.
MR. A. (Brightening) : I think so, Mama. She is a fine, grand
lady and she likes our Joey. He's good boy, she says. (SARAH
and NELLIE burst inf ABIE following close behind.)
MRS. A. : Sh — sh — Don't wake — Joey — (A bell rings faintly
in the distance. MR. A. hurries back to the store. The girls put
their wraps and books away and fix their hair before a small
wall mirror.) Abie — come — necks are washed! Teacher
comes, remember! (AsiE looks disgusted but accompanies her
to the kitchen. The girls whisper a little. JOEY is awakening.
MR. ABRAMS' voice is heard from the store.)
MR. A. : Yes'm — yes'm — Miss Roberts — we are very proud —
but the bump !
Miss R. : I'm so glad to come, Mr. Abrams. Please forget about
the little bump. Do you think Joey is better?
MR. A. : Well, the man he says he is not so hot — but he is not
right. He worries! Still he worries! (SARAH and NELLIE exit
quietly. MRS. A. and ABIE come from the kitchen. SARAH and
NELLIE then softly follow them back in.) "Mama, I want you to
meet Joey's teacher — Miss Roberts.
MRS. A. (Shyly) : I am happy to be acquainted with you, Miss.
Miss R. (Cordially) : I'm so glad to meet you, Mrs. Abrams.
Joey's family are my special friends because I think so much of
him. (JOEY hears but pretends to be sleeping.)
MRS. A.: An' you know Abie? An' Sarah and Nellie?
Miss R.: Yes, I've met Abie before, and I'm glad to know
Sarah and Nellie. Sarah is in high school and Nellie will be
next year, is that right? (The two girls are pleased and embar-
rassed.)
MR. and MRS. A. (Proudly) : Yes'm — the high school that's
where Sarah goes to school.
Miss R. : Mr. Abrams, I have an idea. I think I've found out what
is worrying Joey — ( JOEY stirs and hides his face in the blan-
286 THE LINCOLN COAT
ket.) and I — I want to know if you'll let me talk to him alone.
MR. A. : Oh yes'm — but is it — something at the school ?
Miss R. : Oh, no, Mr. Abrams. Joey has been perfect in every
way at school. You remember you told me something worried
him. I think I know what it is — and I know what to do.
MRS. A. (Eyes brimming) : Oh Miss — do it — do it!
MR. A. : Yes'm, I will want Sarah and Nellie in the store. Abie —
Mama needs you.
MRS. A. (Wiping her eyes) : Then a tea — perhaps? (She indi-
cates a samovar.)
Miss R. : Yes, indeed. (She pats MRS. A's arm) And everything
will be all right. (They all leave, ABIE reluctantly, SARAH and
NELLIE slowly because of taking in details of TEACHER'S dress
and hat. Miss R. seats herself in a rocking chair near the couch.
All is very quiet. Miss R. hums "America." JOEY stirs and
finally uncovers his face.)
Miss R.: Why, hello, Joey! Aren't you glad to see me?
JOEY (Painfully) : Yes'm — but you — you oughtn't to have
come.
Miss R. : But why not, Joey? You've been sick and I wanted to
see you, so I came.
JOEY (More painfully) : Yes'm.
Miss R. : Besides, I didn't understand your note and I thought
you could explain it better than anyone else.
JOEY : I can't be Lincoln — and wear the big Lincoln Coat.
Miss R. : I know you can't, Joey, if you're going to be sick, but
you're going to get well and then you can take your part.
JOEY : But it's — it's not right. (He twists and turns miserably.)
Miss R. : For you to take the part, you mean? (She reaches over
and takes his hand in hers.)
JOEY : It's — he was so honest — an' — an' oh, teacher, I'm not !
(He bursts into sobs. She comforts him, patting his shoulders.)
Miss R. : Oh, Joey — the idea ! You're as honest as daylight ! With
such a fine father you couldn't be otherwise. (JoEY squirms
again.) Joey, do you know he told me today about a wonderful
thing he did for Sarah and Nellie and Abie and you. Just think
— when he didn't know but what he'd starve, he did something
so big and so fine that it could hurt no one — only help you
children ! He made sure that you and your brother and sisters
would be educated so that you need not work beyond your
strength all your lives !
THE LINCOLN COAT 287
JOEY (Incredulously) : Teacher, you mean — my Papa is honest!
Miss R. (Near to tears) : Oh, Joey, he's more than honest. He is
a truly great and big-hearted man in every way!
JOEY (Joy coming into his thin face) : Then I am not a bad boy !
Miss R. (Hugging him) : Joey, you couldn't be bad if you tried!
JOEY: But then — (His face falls.) — you have a boy for pres-
ident.
Miss R. : No, Joey. You've got to be president. I'm positive that
coat will never fit anyone but you !
JOEY : Oh, Teacher, then I say the wonderful words !
Miss R. : And, Joey, if you should gain a pound or two it won't
hurt — though 111 never be able to let the coat out now it's
sewed up! (JOEY giggles happily. MR. A. sticks his head in
from the store. MRS. A. sticks her head in from the kitchen.
They stare at JOEY. He sees them.)
JOEY (He gets to his knees on the couch) : Oh Papa — Mama —
(They run in to him.) I shall make the wonderful speech in that
big coat with the tails — the president's — the Lincoln Coat!
THE END
THE QUEEN WITH THE BROKEN HEART
by Catherine Urban
Characters
QUEEN OF HEARTS
KING OF HEARTS
LADY-IN-WAITING
PAGE
FAIRY GODMOTHER
SPRING
SETTING : The palace.
AT RISE: The QUEEN sits near a table on which -is a small plant.
She is knitting and now and then glances at the KING whc sits
slumped down in an easy chair, his feet on a hassock, fast asleep.
A pile of large books- is on the floor beside him. In the rear, the
PAGE and LADY-IN-WAITING -whisper together and sadly shake
their heads. The QUEEN glances at the KING, sniffs and, put-
ting down her knitting, takes up a handkerchief and sobs loudly
into it.
LADY-IN-WAITING (Rushing forward) : Oh, my Queen, do not
weep!
PAGE (Also forward) : My dear mistress, do not distress yourself !
LADY-IN-WAITING (As. the QUEEN sobs louder) : My dear, you
will ruin your beautiful eyes 1
QUEEN (Sniffs) : And of what good are beautiful eyes, if no one
ever looks into them?
LADY-IN-WAITING (Glancing at the KING) : The lazy, thought-
less brute!
PAGE: But my King is worn out. (LADY-IN-WAITING sniffs.)
QUEEN (Sobs) : He does not love me any more ! My heart is
broken !
PAGE: Oh, I am sure, my dear Queen .
LADY-IN-WAITING (About to prod KING) : I'll wake up the lazy
thing!
288
THE QUEEN WITH THE BROKEN HEART 289
PAGE (Hurriedly) : Oh, no! No! You know how angry he be-
comes if he is disturbed. And he has a lot on his mind! He
needs his rest! (The QUEEN sobs.)
LADY-IN-WAITING: Rubbish! He has nothing on his mind! These
books! (Kicks at them) They are nothing but an excuse! He
only pretends that he is busy so he may tire sooner and sleep
longer.
PAGE : He is worn out with affairs of state !
LADY-IN-WAITING: Affairs of state! What affairs of state have
we had ? We are at peace ! The people are busy and prosperous !
The crops are good! But the better things are, the lazier the
King has become ! Why, we haven't had a visiting ambassador
for months ! We haven't had a party for over a year !
QUEEN (Sobs as she touches the plant) : And my King hasn't
given me a gift for ages and ages ! This little plant is the last
thing he gave me. (Sighs. Gets up and picks- up the plant.) I
will go back to my old home! I will take this plant and cherish
it for the rest of my days, for it will remind me of happy, happy
days when my King loved me ! (Sobs)
LADY-IN-WAITING : Oh, my Queen, do not even think of leaving
us!
PAGE : The people worship you !
LADY-IN-WAITING : We all love you !
QUE-EN (Glancing at the KING and sighing) : My King does not
love me ! He has forgotten that I exist ! Oh, if he would only
notice me once more! We were so happy when we were first
married ! But, now, I must go ...
PAGE: Oh, please, your majesty, do not go! (Glances about wor-
riedly) We must think of something!
LADY-IN-WAITING: He needs a good jolt!
QUEEN : If I go, perhaps ... he ... will miss me a little !
PAGE : But the people will be angry ! They love you ! We must
do something! We must wake him up and make him realize . . .
QUEEN : No, love must come from the heart . . .
LADY-IN-WAITING: Your fairy godmother! She could help you!
QUEEN: My fairy godmother!
LADY-IN-WAITING: Of course, don't you remember? Rub your
locket and she will come !
QUEEN : My locket ! I had forgotten ! (Picks up the heart-shaped
locket that hangs about her neck and rubs it. The FAIRY GOD-
MOTHER enters.)
290 THE QUEEN WITH THE BROKEN HEART
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Well! You finally had sense enough to call
me ! I've been wondering how long you would put up with this
situation !
QUEEN : You mean you can help me? You can make my King
love me again?
FAIRY GODMOTHER : He still loves you.
QUEEN: But he can't I He never says so! It has been months
since he has paid me the slightest notice . . . much less the lovely
compliments he used to.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: He's just in a rut
QUEEN : But I can't go on this way ! It's so lonely ! I don't be-
lieve he loves me !
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Oh, you women! You always have to be
shown!
QUEEN (Thoughtfully) : Yes, it is true ... one likes to be told
now and then.
LADY-IN-WAITING: But what can we do? How can we make the
King realize the Queen is unhappy?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: He needs a dash of spring in his blood to
wake him up !
PAGE: But this is February!
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I will call Spring! She will bring her magic
formula! (Waves her wand) Come, Spring! Come from your
sleep ! (SPRING enters sleepily.)
SPRING: Oh, why did you call me? I was having such a wonder-
ful dream. (Rubs her eyes sleepily.)
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I am sorry to disturb you, but the King needs
a shot of your magic formula. He is growing old before his time.
SPRING: I have heard tell that he no longer walks in the Garden
of Youth.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Please use your magic needle!
QUEEN : Oh, Spring, give him back a youthful heart !
SPRING: Well! (Yawns) But I do think that you could have
waited a few months. (Goes to KING and pretends to use a
hypodermic needle) There! That should do it! That formula
is made up of the fragrance of honeysuckle, the lilt of a night-
ingale's song, and a breath of a soft breeze.
QUEEN: Oh, thank you! Thank you! I know how wonderful
your magic is, for each year when you come to us, we all feel
happy and gay.
THE QUEEN WITH THE BROKEN HEART 291
SPRING ( Yawns) : Thank you. I only hope that I can get back to
sleep again.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Of course you can. (Waves her wand) I
have a special power from the Sandman for that ! You had bet-
ter go quickly or you will fall asleep here. Page, help Spring
to her coach. (PAGE bows and exits with SPRING.)
QUEEN (Glancing at the KING, who stretches) : Oh, he is awak-
ening!
KING: Darling Queen, where have you been for such a long time?
QUEEN : Oh, my King, I have been right here.
KING (Getting to his feet and bowing over her hand) : You arc
so beautiful, my beloved !
LADY-IN-WAITING: Oh, it is working! It is working! (PAGE
enters and smiles in delight.)
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Of course. My magic never fails!
KING : Darling, you have been such a wonderful wife to me. Such
a good queen to my people . . . for a long time I have thought
to give you a present. (Glances about worriedly.)
QUEEN : Oh, King, that is not necessary ... as long as you tell
me you love me !
KING : I love you dearly, but I want to give you something too . . .
just some little thing to show I think of you.
FAIRY GODMOTHER : Everyone needs a little word now and then
from friends and loved ones. (Waves her wand over box and
pulls off cover revealing a gaily decorated Valentine Box.) Here,
O King, are small messages of love not only for your Queen
but for all your people as well. For they, too, need to know
that their King remembers them. (All rush to the box and re-
move lid.)
QUEEN : It is full of messages and cards !
LADY-IN-WAITING : How lovely they are !
KING : I thank you very much. (Bows low to FAIRY GODMOTHER.)
QUEEN : And I thank you, so very, very much. Here . . . (Hands
the FAIRY GODMOTHER the plant) I want you to have this. Take
it to remember how very, very happy you have made me ! (Kisses
the FAIRY GODMOTHER who bows and smiles.)
PAGE (Who has been running his hands through the Valentines) :
But come, let us give these out ! (All nod and begin distributing
the Valentines.)
THE END
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES
by Alice Very
Characters
PUSSY CAT
DAME TROT
MOTHER HUBBARD
DOG
BO-PEEP
LAMB
MICE
CHILDREN
SCENE: A kitchen.
PXJSSY CAT:
Tomorrow it is St. Valentine's day,
All in the morning time,
It's time to make
A pretty cake
To please your valentine.
DAME TROT:
Little Bo-Peep
Is fast asleep,
Her lambs are all in bed,
So I shall bake and make a cake,
Some coolaes and some bread.
MOTHER HUBBARD :
My cupboard's not bare,
There's plenty to spare,
My dogs have all been fed,
So I'll help you bake
And make a cake,
Some cookies and some bread.
DAME TROT:
Stand on your legs
And beat four eggs.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES 293
MOTHER HUBBARD:
Two cups of sugar
And beat hugger-mugger.
DAME TROT :
Two cups of butter,
Cut with a cutter.
MOTHER HUBBARD :
Four cups of flour
And bake half an hour.
(DAME TROT and MOTHER HUBBARD mix cakes as they speak
and put them in oven.)
DAME TROT (Dancing) :
Now I'll hop
And then I'll run
Until the cakes are nicely done.
MOTHER HUBBARD (Yawning):
While they bake, a nap I'll take.
Call me when it's time to wake.
(Exit.)
DAME TROT :
Now she's gone
I must make haste.
I mean to have a little taste.
(Takes cake from the oven and bites piece.)
PUSSY CAT:
Meoow, meoow!
Give me some, too.
I like cake as well as you.
DAME TROT :
A little bite
Will be all right,
I'm sure it will not hurt a mite.
(Gives cake.)
What was that?
Come, Pussy Cat.
We'd best be getting out of sight.
(Exit.)
MOTHER HUBBARD (Enters, goes to oven, opens door and
looks in) :
Come, come,
294 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES
The cakes are done.
Now it's time to have some fun.
How good they look!
How nice they smell!
Shall I try them?
Might as well.
(Takes cakes out and bites one. Enter DOG.)
DOG:
Boo, woo !
I want some, too,
Just a little bite will do.
MOTHER HTJBBAKD:
Yes, indeedy,
{Gives cake.)
Don't be greedy.
Now run out, and make it speedy.
{Exit DOG.)
Just so —
{Arranging cakes.)
Hardly show —
Someone's coming — I must go!
(Exit.)
BO-PEEP :
Little Bo-Peep
Was fast asleep
When something made her wake.
I can tell very well
By the lovely smell
That something must be cake.
(Bites cake.)
My teeth are so small
They don't show at all.
They'll think -where it's bitten
*Twas done by a kitten.
: {Entering) : '
Baa, baa,
Here I am.
I am Mary's little lamb.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES 295
I am hungry,
So I bleat,
I want something good to eat.
BO-PEEP:
Come right here,
Lambie, dear.
You shall have some, never fear.
(Feeds LAMB.)
Now you're fed;
Go to bed.
Morning time is drawing near.
(Exit. Enter MICE.)
FIRST MOUSE:
Squeak, squeak!
Let me peek.
Tell me if you hear a creak.
SECOND MOUSE:
Yum, yum,
I want some.
Give me just a tiny crumb.
FIRST MOUSE :
Crunch, crunch,
Time for lunch,
How our mousie teeth can munch!
(MiCE nibble. A bark is heard off-stage.)
SECOND MOUSE:
Hush, hark!
There's a bark
Morning scares away the dark.
(MICE run out. Enter DAME TROT, MOTHER HUBBARD,
PUSSY CAT.)
DAME TROT:
Dear, dear!
(Looking at cakes.)
What have we here?
Something's happened, very queer.
MOTHER HUBBARD :
My, my!
What do I spy?
Someone ate the cakes, I fear.
296 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES
DAME TROT :
They must have had to eat and run.
There's just one bite in every one.
(Holding up bitten cake.)
PUSSY CAT:
Just give the cakes to me to bite.
I'll show you how to make them right.
MOTHER HUBBARD :
Well, we'll let you try it, kitty,
But be sure you make them pretty.
(Pussy CAT nibbles cake and holds up a heart-shaped one.)
PUSSY CAT:
Now you see that I am smart.
I've made each cake a pretty heart.
SONG (Offstage):
Good morning, it is St. Valentine's day,
All in the morning time,
And I a maid at your window
To be your Valentine.
(Enter LITTLE BO-PEEP, followed by LAMBS, DOGS, CHILDREN.)
PUSSY CAT:
Oh, little Bo-Peep
And all your sheep
And all your playmates too,
Come in and see the valentines
That we have made for you.
Now, children, dear,
It's very dear
That this must be a sign,
The cakes and tarts
Were turned to hearts
By good St. Valentine.
(All hold up hearts.)
THE END
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
by Lindsey Barbee
Characters
GEORGE WASHINGTON
THE CAPTAIN
JOHN WINCHESTER
MRS. WINCHESTER
ELIZABETH WINCHESTER
MARIA, the maid
THE STRANGER
SCENE 1
SETTING : The bank of the Delaware River.
AT RISE : Two soldiers, swathed in heavy cloaks, are standing —
evidently on a slight eminence — as a third soldier approaches
them and climbs a bit laboriously before he reaches their level.
A lantern, swinging from his hand, reveals his weather-beaten
face and throws its rays upon a stalwart, eager-eyed youth and
upon the commanding figure of the General of the continental
forces — GEORGE WASHINGTON. The youth, JOHN WINCHESTER,
catches the arm of the newcomer and bends excitedly toward
him*
JOHN:
What think you, Captain, of the risk tonight —
The river and the way the wind has turned —
The ice — what chance have we to venture?
How long before we dare a crossing? (As the CAPTAIN makes
a gesture of impatience.) Wait!
You must know that tonight we win or lose.
CAPTAIN :
Have patience, John, have patience till I speak.
The fire of youth is oft at war with reason
And knows not prudence nor the wiser course
297
298 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
That bids one watch and wait and counsel. (Turns.}
My General, we must not cross tonight.
WASHINGTON :
You are quite sure?
CAPTAIN :
Quite sure, for even now
The river clogs with ice, the air is sharp,
The very wind is hostile to our venture.
WASHINGTON :
But still, in some strange way, it conies to me
That we must cross — tonight — if we would win.
CAPTAIN :
My General, it is not courage fails us
Nor keen desire; the elements themselves
Make it impossible.
WASHINGTON :
Impossible ?
We know not such a word.
CAPTAIN:
Nay, but the truth
Has come to us in hard and bitter ways.
At Trenton and at Bordentown there stand
The Hessian and the British troops. Your plan
To send a force across the Delaware,
To sever any union of the two
Has come to naught. We cannot cope with storms.
WASHINGTON :
There also was a third phase to my plan.
Have you forgotten? I, with my own men,
Had thought to cross the Delaware — to creep
Upon the Hessian troops at Trenton.
CAPTAIN :
True,
You were to lead the main attack ; but now
The icy storms have played a tragic part
In thwarting our designs. (Pauses.) We cannot cross.
WASHINGTON :
But still I say — we cross ere dawn.
CAPTAIN :
My General!
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 299
WASHINGTON :
We cross ere dawn — for now at heart I feel
It is the Hand of God that points the way.
CAPTAIN :
The river is not open for our men.
WASHINGTON :
Then we must make it so. It can be done.
CAPTAIN :
Then be your wish my wish. (WASHINGTON grasps his hand.)
It can be done.
JOHN :
Perhaps it is our very chance. Tonight
Is Christmas night. The Britishers forget
There is a war. The Hessian troops are gay
And careless. Oh, it is our chance to win !
WASHINGTON :
Hold fast that faith, my boy, for only faith
Can work the miracle we sorely need.
The British hold the towns. Their leader waits
The freezing of the Delaware before
He pushes on to Philadelphia.
Our loyal colonists have heavy hearts.
The enemy seems slowly closing in.
It is a crisis. For without the spur
Of victory we hold a losing cause.
CAPTAIN :
When do we cross?
WASHINGTON :
At three o'clock. Tis then
They will be taken unaware. By four
We should effect a landing.
CAPTAIN :
Save for storms —
For ice — for wind. Somehow, my General,
I fear the elements. And should we land —
WASHINGTON :
And land we shall.
CAPTAIN:
How can we know the way?
The point of vantage? And the crucial time
To strike?
300 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
JOHN:
Through me. I beg of you, send me.
For Trenton is my home — I know each inch
Of ground. I can be stealthy, too, and wise ;
And I can lead you to the Hessian camp.
Oh, grant me this to do !
CAPTAIN :
(Aside to WASHINGTON.) The boy is young.
He has not yet been tested.
JOHN :
Grant me this.
It is my opportunity to serve.
CAPTAIN :
But there are older, wiser men who know
The devious ways of strategy.
JOHN :
Send me.
I will succeed. It is my chance — my chance.
WASHINGTON :
Your chance. Why not, my lad? 'Tis such as you
That must infuse new zeal into our hearts. (Pauses.)
Accept the trust I give you. Be our guide
When we shall reach the shore.
JOHN:
I shall be there.
WASHINGTON :
Above — nine miles — the ferry —
JOHN;
Yes, I know.
And even now the time is short. Farewell.
Across the river — four o'clock — we meet. (Rushes off.
For a moment there is silence. Then the GENERAL lays his
hand upon the shoulder of the CAPTAIN.)
WASHINGTON :
You doubt the wisdom of my choice, good friend,
But in a time of weakness and of doubt
We need the fearless spirit of adventure,
The faith that brooks no failure — and the youth
That never falters, never feints and never fears.
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 301
CAPTAIN:
To you is given the vision, General.
I trust your word as always.
WASHINGTON :
Then, my friend,
We work together on this Christmas night. (Pauses.)
Christmas night ! The time of peace, good will.
How can we plan for war — perhaps, for death?
How is the holy season marred — and yet —
Tonight we work toward that same peace
The Christ Child sought. Our lives we consecrate
To liberty, to justice and to right.
CAPTAIN:
The ice — the snow — if there could only be
A sign that they would hinder not.
WASHINGTON :
A sign?
Perhaps this Christmas night the sign will come.
CAPTAIN :
A sign will come? I do not understand.
WASHINGTON :
Did you not wish that there would be a sign?
I only say — perhaps the sign will come.
CAPTAIN :
Signs herald miracles, 'tis said.
WASHINGTON :
Why not?
It is the very night for miracles. (Pauses.)
The air is very still. The wind has ceased.
Beyond us is the banner — and its folds
Are drooping. But a little time ago
The wind blew toward us. Had we crossed just then
We should have battled hard But now you see
There is no wind.
CAPTAIN:
(In a whisper.) My General — you mean —
WASHINGTON :
That if another wind should rise and blow
Our banner outward, we should know the sign
As one that bids us godspeed on our mission.
We'll watch and wait and pray the sign will come.
302 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
CAPTAIN:
The air is still and cold. There is no sound —
The very silence is oppressive. See !
The banner hangs as lifeless as before.
WASHINGTON :
Look close. The banner moves. Can you not see
That something is astir? That something blows —
And blows it outward — outward? 'Tis the sign.
CAPTAIN :
The sign, my General. My faith returns.
WASHINGTON :
And now, tonight, we cross the Delaware !
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING : A room in the Winchester home.
AT RISE : At a curtained window, ELIZABETH is standing, looking
out into the night. MRS. WINCHESTER enters from right, a
long, full cape covering her formal gown. ELIZABETH turns
from the window.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
What foolishness is this, Elizabeth?
Have you forgotten that our English friends
Are celebrating Christmas with a ball?
ELIZABETH :
I've not forgotten, Mother.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
Then I ask
Why you have failed to be in readiness.
ELIZABETH :
Because I do not care to go ; because
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 303
I have no interest in the gayeties
Of those who are our enemies.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
How dare
You speak so of the British when you know
That hearts and hands are pledged to good King George.
ELIZABETH :
Not my heart, not my hand. I choose to pledge
To that dear land I love — America.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
You still are wayward, stubborn. 'Tis because
Your foolish brother —
ELIZABETH :
Hush ! I shall not hear
One word against him. He has had the faith,
The courage to be true to what is right.
MRS. WINCHESTER :
And he has forfeited his heritage.
ELIZABETH :
That is your cruelty to him. You choose
The King and not your son. (Suddenly.) I should not speak
So boldly to you, Mother.
MRS. WINCHESTER :
You must learn
That older heads are wiser — that the band
Of churlish wits who prate of liberty
Must now be kept subservient to the King.
ELIZABETH :
The patriot cause is mine.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
Why, even now
The English close upon the colonists. (Impatiently.)
Why do I tarry thus? I shall expect
You later at the ball, Elizabeth.
The carriage will return.
ELIZABETH :
I shall not go.
MRS. WINCHESTER:
(Firmly.) I shall expect you.
(She goes out at right and a frightened little MAID appears
from back.)
304 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
MAID:
Oh, Miss Betty — I —
ELIZABETH :
What is it? What has happened?
MAID:
Master John
Is waiting for you — there. (Points to back as JOHN enters.)
ELIZABETH :
Oh, John — dear John.
How can you be so reckless! All around
Are Tory soldiers.
JOHN:
Betty, I am here
Upon a secret mission — there is time
For just a word.
ELIZABETH :
Maria, stand outside —
Keep guard. (MAID goes out at back.)
Speak quickly, for I am afraid.
JOHN:
At three o'clock our General will cross
The Delaware.
ELIZABETH :
Impossible! The snow —
JOHN:
But on this Christmas night, the Hessian troops
Are off their guard. The British, too, foiget
There is a war. They hold high carnival.
And if we force a crossing — victory
Is ours.
ELIZABETH :
(Excitedly.) And courage, too, will be renewed.
JOHN:
I am the trusted messenger who learns
The proper place for an attack; and I
Will 'wait them at the ferry nine miles south
To lead them to the Hessians. Even now
My horse is hidden by the evergreens.
By four o'clock I reach the Delaware
And lead them by the path we know so well
(The MAID appears.)
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 305
MAID:
I saw two soldiers passing.
ELIZABETH :
(To John.) Then be gone —
No moment for farewell. QOHN hurries off.) Maria, go
To watch — to listen — and to bring me word. (MAID goes
out.).
(To herself.) The ferry — nine miles south — at four o'clock —
(There is a pistol shot. The MAID rushes in.)
MAID:
The Tory soldiers saw him and they fired —
They took him prisoner —
ELIZABETH:
Tonight — tonight —
When Washington will cross the Delaware!
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
AT RISE: Against a snowy background with sparkling evergreen
trees, WASHINGTON stands with his faithful CAPTAIN by his
side.
CAPTAIN:
There is no sign of Winchester. The men
Are restless — and they wish to march ahead
Toward Trenton. You will see, my General.
That Winchester has failed us, left us here
To make our way as best we can.
WASHINGTON :
Not failed,
Not faltered, Captain, I am sure of that —
But fallgn into evil hands.
306 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
CAPTAIN:
If true
That he is intercepted, we surmise
That our proposed attack is known, that we
Have little chance of pressing farther on.
The capture of a spy means watchful eyes
Upon our movements ; and I fear that we
Must now expect to find the troops prepared
For quick resistance.
WASHINGTON :
Still my faith is strong
In ultimate success. And we shall march
To Trenton.
CAPTAIN:
Knowing not the route that leads
Directly to the Hessians?
WASHINGTON :
We shall make
Our own route. Providence will lead the way.
CAPTAIN:
Then I shall — {He breaks off abruptly and gazes off stage.)
Wait! Someone has ridden up —
'Tis Winchester — no, 'tis a stranger. See —
He makes his way to us.
(A STRANGER enters, cap pulled low on his forehead, long cape
around him, high riding boots.)
What is it, sir?
STRANGER:
My message is for General Washington.
WASHINGTON :
And I am Washington. What word have you
For me? Be brief, I beg, for time is short.
STRANGER:
I come to you from your own messenger,
John Winchester.
WASHINGTON :
And why has he transferred
His mantle to your shoulders?
STRANGER:
He has been
Imprisoned by the British. I have come
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 307
To lead you to the Hessians by the path
He chose — the shortest, truest path.
WASHINGTON :
And how
Did you know of this purpose? Messengers
Are not supposed to whisper of their tasks.
STRANGER :
Was it not better that he give his task
To someone else than that you should be left
Without a leader?
WASHINGTON :
Who are you, my lad?
STRANGER :
John's friend and confidant — your loyal friend,
My General. I only ask that you
Believe my tale, trust John, and realize
That my great happiness is serving you.
CAPTAIN :
(Aside to WASHINGTON.) Someway this story does not ring
as true
As I would have it.
WASHINGTON :
Yet I trust this youth t
And see in him the answer to our prayer
For guidance.
CAPTAIN :
Yet, if he should be a spy
From British forces —
STRANGER :
I am not a spy.
I come direct from your own messenger.
There is no time to tell you how and why.
The morning soon will break. Nine miles there are
To follow. And the British do not know
Of this, our undertaking. Take no time
To question, but believe me when I say
That I can guide you to the Hessian camp.
(For a moment there is silence.)
308 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
CAPTAIN:
I trust your word — but should you play us false
STRANGER:
I shall not play you false.
WASHINGTON :
Then, lead us, lad!
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: A small room, plainly and sparsely furnished. At a
table sits WASHINGTON while the CAPTAIN stands near by.
CAPTAIN:
A thousand prisoners, my General —
And forty killed and wounded.
WASHINGTON :
While our loss?
CAPTAIN:
Two killed, three wounded,
WASHINGTON:
Every victory
Must have its toll of victims. And our men —
What spirit have they?
CAPTAIN:
Victory does much
To change the outlook and to cheer the heart.
This morning they could face the British force
In its entirety and never flinch.
Success means much, and now our patriot cause
Has passed its very crisis. 'Tis your faith
That brought us through the darkest, drearest days.
(JOHN appears at the door. His head is bandaged and his arm
is in a sling. He crosses to WASHINGTON and salutes.)
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 309
JOHN:
I cannot find the words to plead my cause ;
I cannot ask that you will ever trust
Another mission to me. I have failed —
Failed when I should have won. Is it too much
To ask for clemency?
WASHINGTON :
Are we not here?
Have we not won our victory? Success
Has crowned our venture.
JOHN:
But this same success
I had no part in gaining. May I speak,
If not to clear myself to tell you why
I failed to meet you at the ferry?
WASHINGTON :
Speak, my boy.
JOHN:
In Trenton live my people, as you know.
They all are Tories save Elizabeth,
My sister, who is very dear to me.
When I declared the patriot cause, she, too,
Upheld me, for we felt alike in this —
A free and independent country. Now
My family has cast me off; and she
Has been forbidden to receive me, though
At times we have our stolen interviews.
CAPTAIN:
(Impatiently.) Come — come — the time is passing. We must
know.
JOHN:
(Motioning jor^ silence.) Tonight when I had seen the Hessian
camp * * '
Had watched their carelessness — their revelry —
I knew that now it was the time to strike.
I passed my home. I saw my sister's maid —
She let me in to see Elizabeth.
CAPTAIN:
Treachery! You ran the risk of capture.
WASHINGTON :
Quiet, Captain, for this is no treachery.
310 A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
JOHN : I had but left the house. Two officers
Who happened to be passing shot at me
And kept me with them. It is only now
I have escaped their watchfulness.
WASHINGTON
And still
You played your part ; you sent the messenger
Who guided us so skillfully, who knew
So well the path to follow. And before
We realized, he slipped away without
Our thanks. If you will tell his name, we shall
Express our gratitude.
JOHN:
A messenger?
WASHINGTON :
Your messenger.
JOHN:
I sent no messenger.
WASHINGTON :
Then who came to us seemingly from you?
JOHN : I am as puzzled as yourselves. I sent no one.
CAPTAIN:
And told no one your secret mission?
JOHN :
No.
CAPTAIN:
Think well and hard. For this same messenger
Knew all our plans, and knew that you, our guide,
Was wounded, could not come. You told no one?
JOHN:
I told no one — (Suddenly) save — save —
CAPTAIN:
Save whom?
JOHN:
Elizabeth.
(At the door appears a smiling maiden — ELIZABETH — with
cheeks like roses.)
ELIZABETH :
(Curtseying.) Your servant, General, answering to her name,
But much more proud to call herself a guide,
A leader of the loyal patriot band
That marched this morning into Trenton.
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON 311
JOHN:
You?
ELIZABETH :
Why not? I knew your mission, knew that you
Were captured. Was it not my very chance
To aid the cause I love, uphold and cherish?
Your horse was waiting, and I hurried off,
A trifle late, dear General, but I did my best
And rode my fastest. And I had the joy
Of being for a little while a part
Of Washington's own army.
JOHN: Betty, dear,
'Twas you who did my part, who took the word.
ELIZABETH :
'Twas I indeed — and proud, so proud to do it. (Crosses to
WASHINGTON.)
You will not blame John for such recklessness,
Such thoughtlessness in risking peril when
He should have thought alone of country's need.
WASHINGTON :
Since I have known the guide, have proved his worth
I grant him any favor. And since I
Have seen the maid, I understand the risk.
ELIZABETH :
I thank you — for this Christmas gift to me.
Our gift to you is our united love
And loyalty and service. (Suddenly.) Oh, how fair
The day has grown — how dazzling is the sun !
WASHINGTON :
How happy are our hearts — for we forget
The darkness and the peril.
ELIZABETH :
Evermore
We shall remember that dear Christmas night
When Washington dared cross the Delaware.
THE END
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
by Lavinia R. Davis
Characters
DAVID COHEN
"FATTY" BARNES
BILLY GOODHUE
MARY WENTWORTH , ^ in the school
PATRICIA O BRIEN f
ANGELO GIOVANNI
PETER PERRY
HUGH COURT
OTHER BOYS AND GIRLS
JEAN DU PRE, a French boy, new to the school
Miss FARNSBEE, a schoolteacher^-
MR. DOOLITTLE, headmaster
GRANDPAPA COHEN, an old Hebrew scholar and grandfather of
David
MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE
SCENE 1
TIME: The end of study period.
SETTING: A typical American schoolroom.
AT RISE: MARY WENTWORTH and DAVTD COHEN are the only
ones really studying. Miss FARNSBEE is unsuccessfully trying
to keep order. "FATTY" BARNES and BILLY GOODHUB are hav-
ing a good time making faces. PATSY O'BRIEN is passing a note
to ANGELO who replies by throwing a spit ball. One of the chil-
dren tries to pass a note to DAVID who is so deep in his work
that he doesn't even notice. HUGH COURT shrugs his shoulders
and grins at BILLY. It is clear that the class knows its DAVID.
They accept him as a real student and a good sport. They may
make fun of him a little, but on the whole are very fond of him.
Miss FARNSBEE: Billy! Patsy. Francis, stop that at once!
PUPILS: Yes, Miss Farnsbee.
312
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 313
Miss FARNSBEE: Children. Children! I cannot have such be-
havior. (There is a sharp knock on the door. The attention of
the class, except -for DAVID and MARY is suddenly riveted on
that door.) Come in. (MR. DOOLITTLE, accompanied by a tail,
dark French boy dressed in typical French black school smock
and looking very out of place, comes in. The class, on seeing
MR. DOOLITTLE, snap to their feet. For a moment DAVID is left
behind, but at last with a start he puts down his book and rises.)
MR. DOOLITTLE: Be seated, children. Miss Farnsbee, this is Jean
Du Pre whom you have been expecting. I am sure he will be a
pleasant addition to your group.
Miss FARNSBEE: How do you do, Jean? We are so glad you are
going to be with us. (JEAN makes a formal and rather exagger-
ated how. Miss FARNSBEE goes to the door with MR. DOOLITTLE,
both of them talking in low tones. The class is all eyes looking at
JEAN. He hesitates, uncertain, and then bows to the class. That
is the final stroke, and they all titter out loud. JEAN, hurt, waits
until he is sure that MR. DOOLITTLE and Miss FARNSBEE are
not looking and then sticks out his tongue at the class. Miss
FARNSBEE returns as door closes on MR. DOOLITTLE.) Children,
I am sure we are all very glad that Jean du Pre has come to join
us. I think ckss four stands in need of seeing some fine old-
world manners.
BILLY (Aside to FATTY) : Fine old-world tongue-sticking!
Miss FARNSBEE (Gives JEAN some books and shows him to a seat
near MARY WENTWORTH) : I think you will be happy here,
Jean. Mary is one of our honor students.
JEAN (With another bow) : Of a certainty, Mademoiselle. (He
sits- down without a word to MARY.)
Miss FARNSBEE (Going back to desk) : Since it is such a rainy
day you will have your recess period here. You may do what-
ever you like for the first half and then I suggest you work on
the school play. We have a real rehearsal tomorrow you know.
PUPILS : Yes, Miss Farnsbee. All right, Miss Farnsbee. We cer-
tainly will. (She goes out and a good-matured pandemonium
breaks out. Someone plays a mouth organ. BILLY and FATTY
start a game of ball.)
FATTY: Come on, Jean, Play ball with us. (He throws the ball
which JEAN ducks in a very sissified manner as though afraid
of being hurt.)
314 DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
JEAN (Who speaks with a very marked accent) : Why is it you
Americans always play ze ball?
HUGH: Well, don't you play in France?
JEAN (Contemptuously) : Certainly nol In France, one goes to
school to study, not to play.
HUGH (Rolling the ball over DAVID'S book. DAVID at last looks
up grinning. DAVID, who has been studying up to this moment,
retrieves the ball and throws it back to HUGH. This little action
is typical of DAVID'S good-natured poise.) : Well, old David
here studies, but he plays ball. Catch, Davy.
DAVID (Catching ball and throwing it to BILLY) : Here you are,
Bill.
BILLY (Throwing it to ANGELO) : Coming, Angelo. (ANGELO
misses and the ball rolls near JEAN'S feet. He gives it a kick into
a far corner.)
BOYS (Angrily) : Say, what's the big idea? You don't have to
spoil other people's fun do you?
DAVID (Soothingly) : Say listen, fellows, how about our getting
going on rehearsing the play. We've still got a lot to do.
BOYS: O.K., Davy. Right you are.
FATTY : Come on, Bill, and help me fix up the crossing-the-Dela-
ware boat out of these chairs. (CHILDREN except for JEAN di-
vide into two groups. Most of them off center and around FATTY
begin making boat out of school chairs. DAVID and HUGH COURT
in center take a few properties out of costume box and strike
attitudes as they begin declaiming lines to one another.)
DAVID (In his role as HAYM SALOMON) : Good morning, Your
Excellency. And how are General Washington's gallant troops
this winter's day?
HUGH (In his role as GENERAL WASHINGTON) : Strong in spirit,
Mr. Salomon. Stout of heart But perishing from the cold and
lack of food.
DAVID : Bravely said, Your Excellency. To help such soldiers is
a patriot's greatest privilege. (He reaches into his pocket for
some play money and then as he gets it outf suddenly drops his
role and becomes himself again.) Golly I'm glad we're doing
this play.
HUGH : Me too. It's swell fun wearing a sword.
DAVID (Half to himself) : And to make history come alive. To
make people see that those men at Valley Forge were really cold
and hungry. That Washington had troubles like any other
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 315
leader. That Haym Salomon was only an ordinary Jew who
loved his country. (Growing suddenly confidential.) You know,
Hughie, that's why it's so grand for me to have this part. To
act out the part of another Jew who really served his country.
HUGH: Salomon sure did. Miss Farnsbee said the Continental
Army couldn't have gotten through without his dough. You'll
have fun swishing around with all that fake money.
DAVID (Half in a dream again) : And to make people see — to
understand — (He is interrupted by a terrific crash at stage left.
The boys and girls had just gotten the boat finished. FATTY
reached up to rig up a sheet for a sail when JEAN kicked the
bottom of the boat from under him, ruining the boat and send-
ing FATTY sprawling.)
MARY: Oh, Jean, how could you?
JEAN (Giving FATTY a pinch as he struggles to get up) : It was
not my boat was it? They did not ask me to help.
FATTY (Squaring off for a fight) : Put up your mitts, Jean du
Pre ! (They start to fight and JEAN suddenly kicks.)
CHILDREN: Say, he's kicking. No fair. (DAVID and HUGH try to
separate them.)
DAVID: Oh stop it both of you. Please do!
PATSY O'BRIEN: Cheese it! Here comes teacher! (Miss FARNS-
BEE enters and peace descends on the class.)
Miss FARNSBEE: Well, children, I hope you got on with your
rehearsal.
CHILDREN : Yes, Miss Farnsbee. Yes, Miss Farnsbee.
FATTY (Aside to JEAN) : Just you wait until after school — you
— you — FROG! (JEAN looks terrified but says nothing.)
Miss FARNSBEE: Mental arithmetic now, children. No books,
please. (Desks are cleared with a clatter and children sit up
straight at desks.) Peter, how much is 8 times 9?
PETER: 72.
Miss FARNSBEE: Right. Billy, how much is 5 plus 72 plus 12?
BILLY: Well — er — let's see 5 plus 72 —
JEAN (Raising his hand) : Mademoiselle !
Miss FARNSBEE : All right, Jean.
JEAN : 89 (He sits down with a smug look and another little bow.)
Miss FARNSBEE: That's correct. Very good, Jean. I'm sure you
are a good student
BILLY (Aside) : Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet!
316 DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
Miss FARNSBEE: Order! Mary, how much is 79 plus 41 plus 6?
(MARY starts to answer when there is another knock on the door
and MR. DOOLITTLE puts his head in.)
MR. DOOLITTLE: Sorry to interrupt class work, Miss Farnsbee,
but would you come out to show me those new records?
Miss FARNSBEE: Certainly. (Turning to pupils.) You will go on
with your homework preparation for tomorrow. (She goes out
and as she shuts door pandemonium breaks loose as children
turn back to JEAN.)
FATTY : You can't get away with busting down my boat.
BILLY : And just because you're good at math, you can't kick when
you're fighting either I (As the boys, except DAVID, crowd men-
acingly around JEAN, he cowers back, facing the boys, his back
to the wall.)
DAVID: Aw now, fellows, take it easy. Maybe Jean didn't mean
to fight crooked. My grandfather says that French wrestlers
are taught to kick.
MARY : Don't gang up on him. Maybe hell say he's sorry. Won't
you, Jean?
JEAN (Screaming) : No! (Then as first boy touches him.) Yes!
Yes! But don't touch me! I apologize. There. (He makes an-
other one of his little bows.) I apologize for breaking your
stupid boat. I apologize for the kick. (Boys, half-disappointed
at missing a show-down, turn on heels and go over to window
talking about JEAN in low tones while several of the girls giggle
at their desks. Only DAVID and MARY are left with JEAN.)
JEAN (Scared and excited and furious) : Betes ! Fools. They are
savages. But truly savages !
MARY : But, Jean, you did start it you know.
JEAN (Bitterly) : Start the staring, the laughing, the joking the
minute I came into the room? I start that? Of a certainty, non.
A thousand times non, non, non !
DAVID: It's true they did laugh but they didn't mean anything.
They're a great gang really. It's just that you're new, and
your clothes are a little different, and you know —
JEAN (His voice rising as he sees boys are about to return toward
him) : Know ? Know ! I know more than these babies with their
balls and their boats.
DAVID: Sure. I bet you're a swell student It's just you mustn't
mind their fun — and you mustn't be scared.
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 317
JEAN (Once more with his back to the wall and growing almost
hysterical as boys come around him) : Oh, it is easy to talk.
Very easy. But what about you and you and you? Have you
never felt strange and lonely and sc-scared? (He turns his
face to the wall, breaking down completely as Miss FARNSBEE
r centers the room — and the curtain falls.)
* * *
SCENE 2
TIME: Afternoon of the same day.
SETTING: The Cohens' comfortable book-lined living room.
AT RISE: GRANDPA COHEN, an old gentleman with thick glasses,
is nodding over a big book as DAVID comes in and drops his
school books on the table.
GRANDPAPA COHEN : Hello, David boy. And how was the school
today?
DAVID : Oh kind of so-so.
GRANDPAPA (Looking over his glasses) : Not so good, hein? Did
my David not know his lessons ?
DAVID (Turning over the pages of one of the books on the table) :
Yes, I got on all right, Grandpapa. I'd have to, the way you
explain things and all. (He looks up smiling; it is clear that
there is a strong bond of affection between these two.) It's just
there was a new boy. French chap, name of du Pre. The* other
boys pick on him, and he fights back kicking. It's all such a
mess. They're decent, really, and so is he. It's just that they
don't understand each other.
GRANDPAPA COHEN : Ach, misunderstanding^ Davy boy, that is at
the root of most troubles. Misunderstanding. (He moves slow-
ly over to the table center and pulls over some of the big books
strewn on it.) Even in the time of your play, the great Washing-
ton faced misunderstanding. Many, many times. (He leafs
through one of the books as he speaks, as though to bring proof.)
318 DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
DAVID (Kindling with interest as he always does at mention of the
play) : Oh, Grandpapa, did you find some more books about
Haym Salomon and Washington? (He looks eagerly at the
book while GRANDPAPA COHEN stands beside him gently patting
his shoulder and showing him a picture here, an especially in-
teresting line of text, there.}
GRANDPAPA: I always liked this picture of the Marquis de La-
fayette. A brave soldier, a very gallant Frenchman.
DAVID: I wonder if he and Washington understood one another.
GRANDPAPA (Chuckling) : I have often wondered too. The one
a spoiled, idealistic young aristocrat; the other a fox-hunting
squire from Virginia. Well, well, it is hard to tell now, Davy.
(He starts moving off stage right humming the "Lorelei") You
help yourself to the books, Davy. They are good company for
a youngster or an old man like Grandpapa. I am going off to
take a little nap.
DAVID (He settles down to the table his back to the audience as
the light becomes faint) : All right, Grandpapa. Thanks a lot.
(He begins, to read, but gradually he puts his arms on the table
and is asleep. There is a slight rustling noise on stage left.
DAVID sits up straight again) Is that you, Grandpapa? (LA-
FAYETTE enters at left. He is very suave and foppish in a mili-
tary uniform. He is very young, very French and dandified and
speaks with a cultivated accent. He is all polish and gayetyf but
underneath it all he has the shrewd, practical approach to life.)
LAFAYETTE : I — a grandpapa? But that is to rire — how-do-you-
say, to laugh, surely?
DAVID (Rises startled) : Golly day! Wh — who are you? Wh —
whom do you want?
LAFAYETTE : You, my young David.
DAVID (Breathless and incredulous) : M — m-me? But who are
you?
LAFAYETTE: Marie Joseph Paul Roch Yves Gilbert Motier, Mar-
quis de Laf ayette, and very much at your service.
DAVID: Lafayette! But he's been dead for ages.
LAFAYETTE (With an impatient shrug) : Oh this dead business.
When will people learn that ideas do not die? And people are
their ideas !
DAVID : I — I — I'm sorry ! But you did startle me. (LAFAYETTE
drops his gloves on the table and perches on the edge of it his
sword swinging gayly.)
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 319
LAFAYETTE : Ah, ma f ois, that it is ! I am forever to startle you
solid Americans. Your good generale, my commandante, your
Washington, how I startled him. (He laughs, playing with his
gloves, as though still amused at the memory.)
DAVID (Eagerly) : But you got on, didn't you? That is I mean
you always understood each other?
LAFAYETTE: But most assuredly, no! And why should we? He
was a seasoned soldier. A mature man. And I a boy little older
than yourself. And when we first met what did I see ? A plain
man, a soldier, not much better clothed than his raggle-tailed
troops. And he — (The MARQUIS gets off table to show how he
must have looked) he saw a fop, a how-do-you-say, a macaroni !
A little sugar soldier with a pretty sword. Your hard old
Thomas Paine now, the one with all the Common Sense, who
loathed an aristocrat and spat upon kings, he had words for it
DAVID: But you and George Washington did get on! You fought
together —
LAFAYETTE (Suddenly serious) : Of a certainty, my son. We
planned together, lead together, fought together — and why?
DAVID (Fascinated out of all shyness) : Because you believed in
freedom, in democracy.
LAFAYETTE: Oh la I la! la! Even in those days you young Ameri-
cans talked the same way about de-mock-crrra-cee. But we got
along, as you put it, your Generale George and I, because we
had something to do ! Because work must be done. Because
there was work, we had to get along!
DAVID (Struck by an idea that has not heretofore occurred to
him) : You mean that when people have a job to do, something
that they must get done together — (Suddenly brightening)
Why, yes, of course. I see it If they must work, there just isn't
time to quarrel.
LAFAYETTE: Well said, my boy. (He looks up startled as GRAND-
PAPA COHEN is heard off stage still whistling the "Lorelei") Ah,
so our interview is over. It is time I say au revoir. (He goes
off left, moving very quietly 9 very lightly as GRANDPAPA COHEN
comes on right and the lights* go on strong.)
GRANDPAPA: David, David, where are my gksses, I must have
left them here.
DAVID (Suddenly waking up) : Marquis Lafayette — Why,
Grandpapa, it's — it's — you.
320 DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
GRANDPAPA (Still rummaging for his glasses) : Of course. Who
should it be?
DAVID (Yawning and rubbing his eyes) : I must have been asleep.
I was just looking over this book and I had the most marvelous
dream!
GRANDPAPA (Suddenly finding his glasses on the table) : Ah, here
they are!
DAVID: A wonderful dream!
GRANDPAPA (For the first time really concentrates on DAVID and
pats him affectionately) : Ah, David boy, to read, to think, to
dream. Those are the pleasant things of life. But first one
must work !
DAVID (Rising slowly) : Work! That's just what he said, Grand-
papa. That if people work together there is no time for quarrels.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
TIME: The next day at the end of the school period.
SETTING: The same as Scene 1.
AT RISE: About half the class is present including DAVID, JEAN
DXI PRE and some of the others are in another class room study-
ing history.)
Miss FARNSBEE (Closing book) : Very well, that is all for today.
You've all done splendidly. If you do as well in your play, it
will be the best one the school has ever given,
DAVID (Alert and eager) : I've got the parts right here, Miss
Farnsbee.
Miss FARNSBEE: Good. You give them out, and you can start
right in as soon as the others come down from history. You can
begin by yourselves while I correct these papers. I'll be in the
library if you need me.
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 321
DAVID: All right, Miss Farnsbee. (Miss FARNSBEE goes out left.
As- soon as she goes, the children all start talking and threaten-
ing, still talking about what they'd like to do to JEAN, what a
sissy he is, etc. DAVID busily gives out parts and then as he hears
them talking about JEAN stands listening, a worried expression
on his face.) Now listen, fellows, he isn't so bad.
FATTY : Listen nothing.
HUGH : You're too easy going, Dave.
BILLY: When I get hold of that little Frenchman I'm going to
punch his nose. He just had luck yesterday
DAVID (In distress) : But — but you just don't understand him.
He's just frightened and lonely and strange.
HUGH: He's a sap.
BILLY: He's a dope! (DAVID starts to hand BILLY a part and
then looks at it himself as an idea occurs to him.)
DAVID: Hugh! Billy. How many days have we left to rehearse?
BILLY: Four, of course. What difference does that make?
DAVID: Plenty. Only four more days. We've got Washington,
that's you, Hugh; Putnam, that's Fatty; Light Horse Harry
Lee, that's Pete; Salomon, thafs me; but no Lafayette!
FATTY: Well we've got to get somebody out of another grade,
that's all.
DAVID: That's the point. We've got only four days left, and
we've still got to get a Laf ayette.
HUGH : I still don't get what you're driving at
DAVID: At the play and at you! Only four more days and we've
got to get a Lafayette. And I've got one! Jean du Pre! He's
tall and thin and French. If s a knockout. (Just then the rest
of the class comes rushing in. JEAN sees the others staring at
him and makes one of his formal little bows. He no longer wears
a black smock.)
BILLY (Half under his breath) : Golly, he would fit the part
HUGH (His mind suddenly made up) : Hi, Jean. D*you want to
be Lafayette in our play?
JEAN (Looks scared and bewildered but moves a little nearer the
others) : You mean you want me to play the part of Lafayette?
DAVID (Hastily) : You bet We're all crazy to have you do it.
You're the only one that could possibly understand how he
felt You know, strange, new in America, everything looked
funny. You could play that, couldn't you, Jean?
322 DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
JEAN (Taking a deep, fluttery breath): Of a certainty! A
stranger, a Frenchman. Oh, I could play that, yes. (Suddenly
suspicious) But do the others all want me? (The other children
are too busy getting ready the furniture as it will be used in the
play to answer.)
DAVID: Of course. We can't go on without you. (He grabs an
old cocked hat from the costume box and presses a part book on
JEAN.) See, you just read some of the lines to get the feel of it,
and then Miss Farnsbee likes us to make up as we go along.
(JEAN reads as DAVID turns to the others.) Come on, fellows.
Let's do the part where Lafayette offers his services to Wash-
ington. I'll be one of the aides just for now. (Hucn paces up
and down stage, very military in his bearing and trying very
hard to look like GEORGE WASHINGTON. DAVID makes sure JEAN
understands his part and then rushes into his speech as- AIDE.)
DAVID As AIDE: Your Excellency, I have the honour to present
to you the Marquis de Lafayette, come from fair France to help
our cause. -
HUGH As WASHINGTON : Welcome, Marquis de Lafayette. You
do us honour. (JEAN is halting at first and then becomes more
and more fluent as he gets into the spirit of his part. Also as
he talks his speech comes more rapidly and his accent is more
marked.)
JEAN (Bowing) : It is I who am honoured. To serve such a cause
under so great a leader. (He moves forward, more Frenchified
than ever and bowing very low.) Monsieur le Generate.
HUGH: Your hand, sir.
JEAN (Shaking hands) : My hand and sword are at your service,
sir. Command and I obey. (MARY WENTWORTH slips over be-
side DAVID.)
MARY (In a low voice). : Why Jean's wonderful. He looks just
like Lafayette. And he can act.
BILLY (Who has also been watching the actors) : He's good. He's
swell. I take it back about his being a dope.
JEAN (Who all this while has been acting with HUGH and the
others) : And that is the truth, Monsieur le Generale. France
and America are one in spirit, in dreams, in love of liberty.
HUGH As WASHINGTON: We shall fight shoulder to shoulder.
Marquis de Lafayette, you have been made a general in the con-
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE 323
tinental army. (He reaches over to pin an imaginary decoration
on JEAN'S shovlder.)
JEAN As LAFAYETTE: You do me great honour. (Just at that
moment Miss FARNSBEE comes in.)
Miss FARNSBEE: Time to go home, children. Have you had a
good rehearsal?
HUGH (Enthusiastically) : You bet ! And Jean here's a grand
Lafayette. (Miss FARNSBEE after busily tidying up her desk
leaves the room.)
DAVID: You were good also, Hugh.
HUGH : Jean's just made it. We couldn't get on without him.
JEAN (Walking toward HUGH still half in character of LAFAY-
ETTE) : I thank you. To work with you is how-do-you-say, a
privilege.
DAVID (His eyes are on JEAN and HUGH) : Why he was abso-
lutely right, that dream Lafayette. Where people work together
hard enough, there isn't room for misunderstanding! (HUGH
and JEAN shake hands as DAVID speaks — and the curtain falls.)
THE END
THE MAGIC EGG
by Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen
Characters
PAPA BUNNY
MAMA BUNNY
PETER BUNNY
PAUL BUNNY
POLLY BUNNY
MRS. FEATHERS
MR. FEATHERS
IST GROUP OF CHILDREN, three girls and two boys
2ND GROUP OF CHILDREN, two girls and a boy
GIRL
BOY
TIME: The day before Easter
SETTING : A sunshiny spot in the woods where the Easter bunnies
live.
AT RISE: At upstage right under a spreading tree sits MAMA
BUNNY on a small log, using a big toadstool for a table. She is
busy trimming Easter bonnets with feathers and flowers. When
they are finished she hangs them on little twigs sticking out from
the trunk of the tree. At upstage center there is a fallen tree
which is being used as a table by PAUL BUNNY. On it he has
several bowls of different colorings, and standing about him are
baskets of eggs, some colored and some uncolored. Downstage,
left, POLLY BUNNY works over a sawed-off tree stump on which
she is rolling out dough for hot cross buns. A little to her left
is a small bonfire and over it a small oven placed on pegs. (The
fire can be made of twigs laid over a red light bulb.) PETER
BUNNY stands at center holding a basket of uncolored eggs._.
MAMA BUNNY (Putting down her work and clapping her hands
sharply) : Peter, Paid, Polly — hurry with your work! Tomor-
row is Easter.
THE MAGIC EGG 325
PETER: But, Mother, we are hurrying as fast as we can. I'm
bringing eggs from the farmyard as fast as the chickens lay
them —
PAUL : And I'm coloring them — red and gold and blue and yel-
low — and all the other colors of the rainbow. (He takes a
white egg on a spoon and submerges it in one of the bowls.
NOTE: Paul need not really color the eggs. There can be eggs of
all colors in the bowl so that whatever color is required can be
lifted out.)
POLLY: And I'm making hot cross buns. (As she rolls out some
dough, chanting.) One a penny, two a penny — hot cross buns !
If ye have no daughters, give them to your sons ; one a penny,
two a penny — hot cross buns !
MAMA BUNNY: Stop singing, Polly, and get on with your buns.
PETER: But Mother, we've got to sing. It's spring — the sky
is blue, the grass is green —
PAUL: The flowers are popping out.
POLLY: Tis the most beautiful time of all the year —
PETER: Of that there is no doubt.
MAMA BUNNY: That's all -very well, but we have a job to do. The
Easter Bunnies have to make the day happy for the children.
Where's your father, Peter?
PETER: Out gathering Easter lilies — dazzling white — to dec-
orate all the churches.
MAMA BUNNY: Well, I wish he'd hurry bade. I have lots of
things I want to discuss with him,
PAUL (Lifting out a blue egg) : Oh, Mother, look; isn't this a
beautiful egg? A heavenly shade of blue.
POLLY (Taking a spritely step) : I fed so gay I could dance.
PETER: Let's then.
PETER, PAUL, POLLY (Together, with a few dance steps) :
Tomorrow morn we'll sally forth,
Tiptoeing all around;
Delivering Easter presents
To every village and town.
MAMA BUNNY (Clapping her hands again) : Stop it — stop it
or you'll all get a whipping. Polly, run and ask Robin Redbreast
if he could spare another feather for this Easter bonnet
POLLY: Yes, Mother. (She runs off.)
MAMA BUNNY: All the bonnets in the Easter parade must be very
beautiful
326 THE MAGIC EGG
PETER AND PAUL (Dancing again) :
Oh, the Easter parade is merry,
The Easter parade is gay;
Everyone's smiling and cheerful —
'Tis such a glorious day!
MAMA BUNNY: What did I tell you? I know you're in high spirits
but you'll have to behave yourselves.
POLLY (Running back in) : Robin Redbreast says he's given
enough of his feathers for bonnets this season and so did Mr.
Cardinal. But I brought you a bunch of spring flowers instead.
(She hands a bouquet to MAMA BUNNY.)
MAMA BUNNY: Dearie me.... Well, it'll have to do, although
I've used a good many flowers. As soon as I finish this, I must
make some chocolate bunnies for the children to eat. Ill use
you as a model, Peter.
PETER: Me, Mother?
MAMA BUNNY : Of course. Now, don't look so scared. The chil-
dren aren't going to eat you. I'll just make the chocolate ones
look like you.
POLLY: Mother, who is going to get the magic egg this year?
MAMA BUNNY: The magic egg? The magic egg! Oh, for humpty
dumpty's sake. I wonder if the chickens have laid it yet. My
goodness! Well, your father will know.
PAUL: Here he comes now. (PAPA BUNNY enters right with bos-
ket of Easter lilies. He wears spectacles on his nose.)
PAPA BUNNY: Greetings, greetings, my Easter bunnies.
ALL: Hello, Papa.
PAPA BUNNY: Well, I've got the Easter lilies. Baskets and bas-
kets of them. (Waving the ones he has) These are just a sam-
ple. I put most of them in the brook to keep fresh until you
children can find time to deliver them.
MAMA BUNNY: Papa, what about the magic egg? We forgot all
about it.
PAPA BUNNY: I didn't, my dear. I visited the chickens down at
the farm only a few minutes ago. Mrs. Feathers hasn't laid it
yet. She has to be inspired, you know.
PETER: Well, she'd better hurry. It's almost Easter.
POLLY: What if she isn't inspired at all?
PAPA BUNNY : She will be. Some little boy or girl is going to get
the magic egg. It happens every year. (MRS. FEATHERS enters
THE MAGIC EGG 327
left looking angry.) Oh, Mrs. Feathers, good morning.
MRS. FEATHERS : It's not such a good morning as you think, Mr.
Easter Bunny. I have bad news for you.
MAMA BUNNY: Bad news? But that can't be — not on the day
before Easter.
MRS. FEATHERS : Well, it is — the chickens have stopped laying.
PAPA BUNNY (Shocked) : Stopped laying?
MRS. FEATHERS : Yes, we've all gone on strike, including myself.
PAPA BUNNY: But we need hundreds more eggs — thousands;
you can't go on strike.
MRS. FEATHERS: Well, we have. We're tired of laying all the
eggs and having you Easter bunnies get all the credit.
PAPA BUNNY: Oh, but now wait a minute, Mrs. Feathers. I'm
sure we can discuss this sensibly.
MRS. FEATHERS: There's nothing sensible about it. We lay and *
lay and lay, egg after egg after egg —
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY : But we deliver the eggs.
MRS. FEATHERS: Humph, that's easy.
PAPA BUNNY : Now, wait a minute, Mrs. Feathers. I'll have you
know that I work as hard as —
MRS. FEATHERS: Oh, don't tell me. You talk a lot about it but
that's all. You'ie as bad as Mr. Feathers — all he does is crow !
PAPA BUNNY: What? You're angry with Mr. Feathers too?
MRS. FEATHERS : I'm angry with everyone — and we're not going
to lay any more eggs — that's certain.
PAPA BUNNY: But Mrs. Feathers — wait — the magic egg!
(Two boys and three girls enter right.)
MAMA BUNNY: Oh, Papa Bunny, look — children!
PAPA BUNNY: You children can't come here. What do you want?
IST GIRL: We're looking for Easter eggs. (The children go pok-
ing about.)
IST BOY: Oh, look — beautiful ones.
PAPA BUNNY: Now — now — go away — go away, I say. You
know as well as I do that you're not supposed to hunt for eggs
until Easter morning.
2ND GIRL: Oh, but Mr. Bunny, please. We heard if we looked
hard we might find a magic egg.
3RD GIRL : Yes, and we thought you might tell us where to find it.
MAMA BUNNY: We can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to the other
children in the world.
328 THE MAGIC EGG
2ND BOY : Oh, but if you could just help us a little, Easter bun-
nies —
PAPA BUNNY : Now — now — we can't — that's final. But why
do you want the magic egg anyhow?
IST GIRL: We heard it was a wonderful egg — that whoever
found it would always be happy, that they could get anything
ihey wanted.
PAPA BUNNY: Humph — well, you can't stay around here pok-
ing into our secrets. Now — run — run !
IST BOY: But Mr. Bunny —
PAPA BUNNY (Clapping hands): Run, I say! (The children
scamper out right. MRS. FEATHERS has stood watching, still
looking angry.) There, you see, Mrs. Feathers — you can't dis-
appoint the children. You've got to lay the magic egg.
MRS. FEATHERS: Humph. No one deserves it anyhow. They're
all just thinking of themselves. {And she flounces out left.)
PAPA BUNNY: But, Mrs. Feathers — oh, dear, she's gone.
MAMA BUNNY (Walking back and forth) : T don't know what to
do. I've got to think.
PAUL: We've colored the last of the eggs, Papa, and there's not
half enough —
MAMA BUNNY: Listen, children. I've run out of feathers and
flowers to trim my Easter bonnets. Why don't you come with
me into the woods and help me collect -some more. We can pick
some flowers and maybe coax the birds to give us an extra
feather.
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY: All right, Mother. (POLLY puts a tray
of buns into the oven.)
MAMA BUNNY: Besides, it will give your father a chance to con-
centrate.
PAPA BUNNY: That's a good idea, Mama. If everything's quiet,
maybe I can think how to make the chickens lay more eggs.
MAMA BUNNY: You've simply got to, Papa Come, children.
(As she goes) I think we can find some violets down by the
brook and — (MAMA BUNNY and the little bunnies go out
right. PAPA BUNNY walks back and forth for a moment looking
thoughtful.)
PAPA BUNNY: Hmmmm-mmmm. . . Hmmmm-mmmmm. . . (MR.
FEATHERS, the rooster, enters left, looking very glum. PAPA
BUNNY turns and sees him.)
THE MAGIC EGG 329
PAPA BUNNY: Why, Mr. Feathers.
MR. FEATHERS : Hello, Mr. Easter Bunny.
PAPA BUNNY: What in the world is the matter with you? You
look awful.
MR. FEATHERS : I feel awfuL Mrs. Feathers is angry with me —
all the hens are angry with me. And they've stopped laying <iggs.
PAPA BUNNY: You're telling me? It's a very serious thing. But
why is Mrs. Feathers angry with you?
MR. FEATHERS: I don't know — except that she says the women
do all the work. She says all I do is crow.
PAPA BUNNY : Oh, yes. She mentioned that to me . . .Well — well,
I'm glad you've come, Mr. Feathers. Maybe between us we can
figure out something.
MR. FEATHERS: I hope so. I'm the most miserable rooster that
ever walked in the barnyard. Imagine Mrs. Feathers saying
that — when I crow so beautifully.
PAPA BUNNY: Of course you do, but stop thinking about yourself
for a moment. The important thing is the eggs. Why, children
all over the country expect eggs on Easter morning. The hens
can't stop laying.
MR. FEATHERS: Well, they have — and Mrs. Feathers is stub-
born — she won't change her mind.
PAPA BUNNY : Oh, now — now, let's not be too discouraged You
ought to be able to persuade her — a fine handsome rooster
like you.
MR. FEATHERS : Humph — that's all very well —
PAPA BUNNY: I have it — why don't you tell her you'll stop
crowing?
MR. FEATHERS: What good will that do? Didn't I just tell you
what she said? And it's a shame. Why, my crowing is like mu-
sic. Every morning I crow so loud and long that I wake every-
one up. You can hear me for miles around.
PAPA BUNNY : Wait a minute — is that the way the chickens wake
up — by your crowing?
MR. FEATHERS : Certainly it is.
PAPA BUNNY: Then I have it. You just tell Mrs. Feathers that
you're going to stop crowing if she's going to stop laying, and
that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up again 1
MR. FEATHERS: But I don't think —
PAPA BUNNY: Tell all the chickens. Now hurry, I'm sure it will
work!
330 THE MAGIC EGG
MR. FEATHERS: Well, it might.
PAPA BUNNY: And don't look so crestfallen. Raise your head,
throw back your wings, look like the proud cock you are !
MR. FEATHERS (He walks straighter) : I'll try — I'll do my best.
PAPA BUNNY: Fine — fine. We've got to get more eggs as fast as
we can — and especially the magic egg. (MR. FEATHERS goes
out as MAMA BUNNY and the three little bunnies enter right,
carrying flowers and feathers.) Mama, I've fixed it — I've fixed
it — I'm sure I have.
MAMA BUNNY : That's wonderful, Papa, and look what we have
— all kinds of flowers and feathers. My, they'll make the Easter
bonnets look beautiful. (She gets to work again.)
PETER: You mean the chickens are laying again, Papa? Can I go
to the farm and gather some more eggs?
PAPA BUNNY: I'd wait for just a minute, Peter. Give Mr. Feath-
ers a little time.
MAMA BUNNY : Oh, so you and Mr. Feathers have been getting
together, have you?
POLLY (Taking out tray of buns) : Look, Mama, another tray of
hot cross buns ready for Easter breakfast.
PAUL (Going to coloring bowls) : Oh, this is exciting. I'm going
to mix up some more colors from the rainbow. (Some more
children enter right — two girls and a boy.)
IST GIRL: Oh, look — Easter bunnies!
PAPA BUNNY: Now — now, just a minute, children. (The chil-
dren start running about the stage, poking into everything.)
MAMA BUNNY: You children can't go poking about looking for
eggs — not until Easter morning.
BOY : But we're not looking for eggs especially — we always get
plenty of eggs.
PAPA BUNNY : I suppose you're looking for the magic egg. Well,
you won't find it here. Now, run away — all of you.
2ND GIRL: Oh, dear. If we can't look for the magic egg, can't we
have something else? Oh, look at the three little bunnies —
aren't they cute? (PETER, PAUL and POLLY all stop work and
huddle together.)
IST GIRL: Yes — oh, I want to take them home with me.
POLLY: Mama, don't let them take us.
PETER: Help, Mama — help, Papa!
PAUL: We want to stay with you.
THE MAGIC EGG 331
BOY: Hey, it would be fun to have three bunnies to play with.
Can't we take them?
MAMA BUNNY: Dear me, no. You can't take my children home
with you. Now — now, behave yourselves, and 111 see that you
get some chocolate bunnies on Easter morning.
PAPA BUNNY : If you go home right away —
CHILDREN : Oh, all right then, well go — well go — come on,
everyone. (They troop off right.)
PETER : Oh, Mama, that was a very close call.
POLLY : They wanted to take us home.
PAUL : Were they going to eat us as if we were made of chocolate?
MAMA BUNNY: Nonsense, of course not. They only wanted to
play with you Now, get to work, all of you, so the children
won't be disappointed on Easter morning.
POLLY: Papa, who's going to get the magic egg? I mean how will
you know which boy or girl to give it to?
PAFA BUNNY : Never mind. I'll know — provided there is a magic
egg. Oh, dear me, I wish I knew how Mr. Feathers is making
out — (MR. FEATHERS enters left, carrying two large baskets
full of eggs.)
MR. FEATHERS (Excitedly) : Mr. Easter Bunny — Mr. Easter
Bunny —
PAPA BUNNY: Oh, look — eggs!
MAMA BUNNY : Eggs !
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY : Eggs and more eggs. Hooray — hoo-
ray — hooray! (They start to skip about.)
When an Easter bunny sees an egg —
He's as happy as can be;
He winks his eyes and wrinkles his nose —
For he feels so full of glee.
MAMA BUNNY: Children, stop dancing. You're shaking the earth.
You might break the eggs.
MR. FEATHERS : It worked — it worked — the chickens are laying
again as fast as can be.
PAPA BUNNY: It's wonderful — it's wonderful.
MR. FEATHERS : And Mrs. Feathers isn't angry any more. She's
pleased with the whole world — and listen to this — she loves
to hear me crow.
MAMA BUNNY: That's as it should be.
MR. FEATHERS : And I just crowed so beautifully a few minutes
ago that guess what?
332 THE MAGIC EGG
PAPA BUNNY: What?
MR. FEATHERS: She laid the magic egg!
PAPA BUNNY : The magic egg —
MAMA BUNNY: Dear me — the magic egg!
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY: The magic egg! Hooray. (Then danc-
ing)
Oh, the magic egg, the magic egg —
It has been laid, we hear ;
And twill bring good luck to someone —
It happens every year.
MAMA BUNNY: Children!
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY (Stopping) : Yes, Mama.
MR. FEATHERS : I knew you'd be pleased.
PAPA BUNNY (Reverently) : It's — it's in one of these baskets?
MR. FEATHERS : Yes. (He leans over and whispers in PAPA'S ear.)
PETER, PAUL AND POLLY: But which is it? Which is the magic
egg?
MAMA BUNNY: Sh-h-h! Papa will know. He never even tells me
— he says women can't keep a secret
PAPA BUNNY: Now, don't be hurt, Mama. You'll all know in
good time. . . .Thank you, Mr. Feathers — thank you.
MR. FEATHERS : And come down soon for more eggs.
PAPA BUNNY: We'll need hundreds more.
MR. FEATHERS : Of course, and you needn't worry. Production is
going at great rate — full speed ahead ! (He sweeps out.)
PAPA BUNNY (Rubbing his hands gleefully) : Well, as usual,
Easter is going to be a beautiful time — a happy time.
PAUL: Had I better color the eggs, Papa?
PAPA BUNNY: No — no — not this batch. Ill color them myself.
PAUL: But, Papa —
MAMA BUNNY: Now, don't argue, Paul. You know this batch is
most important — the magic egg.
POLLY (Looking at baskets as PAPA takes them over to fatten log
with coloring bowls on it) : Oh, how I wish I knew which was
the magic egg —
PETER: And I wish I knew who was going to get it. (A boy and
girl enter right. They do not poke around but look about timid-
ly. MAMA BUNNY sees them.)
MAMA BUNNY: What is it? What are you looking for?
GIRL: Why, we thought — that is —
THE MAGIC EGG 333
BOY: We wondered if you could help us.
GIRL: You see, we're looking for the magic egg. (PAPA BUNNY
turns from his coloring.)
PAPA BUNNY: The magic egg?
BOY: Yes, we've got to find it. And, sir, aren't you the Easter
Bunny?
MAMA BUNNY : Of course he is, but he's very busy right now.
PAPA BUNNY: Wait, Mama. So you two want the magic egg —
well, that's not unusual ; most children want it.
GIRL: Yes, I know, but the children next door to us need it more
than anyone.
BOY : You see, sometimes it's hard for their mother to get enough
clothes and food for all of them, so we thought if they had the
magic egg —
MAMA BUNNY: You want to give the magic egg away?
GIRL: Yes — because we've heard that whoever has it will have
good luck and be happy.
PAPA BUNNY: But what about yourselves? Wouldn't you like to
be happy?
BOY : Oh, yes, sir, but we are — most of the time. We don't need
it. But the children next door — they just don't have anything
to be happy about — ever.
GIRL: Oh, Mr. Easter Bunny, can't you help us find the magic
egg?
PAPA BUNNY: Harumph — harumph. Well, no, I can't — not
this minute, because you see, it's never delivered until Easter
morning.
GIRL: Oh, dear —
PAPA BUNNY : It's a surprise and a secret, so I can't tell you any-
thing but this. Go right home and hope very hard — and it may
be — it just may be that you'll get it.
GIRL: Oh, that's wonderful — as long as there's a chance.
BOY : Just one thing, Mr. Easter Bunny. If it should be that you
deliver it to our house, could you — that is, would it be too
much trouble to ask you to come very early so that we could
take it next door before the children wake up?
PAPA BUNNY (Getting out a handkerchief and blowing his nose) :
I — I think that could be arranged; now, run away — both
of you.
BOY AND GIRL (As they go off right) : Won't it be wonderful?
Oh, if only we get it. They'll love the magic egg!
334 THE MAGIC EGG
MAMA BUNNY: Papa, what's the matter? Are you sniffling?
PAPA BUNNY: Somewhat, my dear — somewhat.
PAUL: Papa, are they the ones?
POLLY : Are they going to get the magic egg?
PAPA BUNNY : Yes, they're the ones. I can let you in on the secret.
PETER: But how did you ever decide? Why were they different?
PAPA BUNNY: Because they wanted to make someone else happy.
PAUL : But the magic egg is supposed to make the ones who get
it happy, and if they give it away —
PAPA BUNNY: That little girl and boy will be happy — don't
w;orry about that. When you make others happy, you always
gain happiness for yourself.
MAMA BUNNY : Exactly. Now, stop asking questions — your fa-
ther's busy.
PAPA BUNNY (Busy at coloring bowls) : And in just one moment
I'll have something to show you.
PETER: Not — not —
PAPA BUNNY (Turning and holding in his hands a very beautiful
Easter egg. It shines and glitters) : Yes — the magic egg ! (They
all gather round him with "otts" and "ah's" of delight.)
MAMA BUNNY: Oh, isn't it beautiful?
PETER: It sparkles —
PAUL: It glows —
POLLY: It makes me happy just to look at it
PETER (Running upstage) : I'll get a basket to put it in. (He
brings a beautiful basket and PAPA places the egg in the middle
of the basket.)
PAUL (Bringing flowers) : And we must pack it all around with
flowers.
POLLY (Producing a big ribbon) : And tie on this beautiful lav-
ender bow !
PAPA BUNNY : Ah, there it is — all ready to be delivered — the
magic egg ! (He sets the basket down center stage and they all
gaze at it admiringly.)
PETER: Oh, ifs so exciting —
POLLY: Easter is the loveliest time —
PAUL: Can't we dance now, Mother?
MAMA BUNNY: Of course. I feel like dancing myself. Come, Papa.
(They all join hands and skip around the basket. Then facing
the audience.)
THE MAGIC EGG 335
ALL:
On Easter morn we'll sally forth
Before the church bells ring;
And to the children everywhere,
Our joyous gifts we'll bring.
And perhaps this magic egg will spread
A secret all should know —
That when you think of someone else,
Your happiness will grow !
(Quick curtain.)
THE END
A PRESENT FOR MOTHER
by June Barr
Characters
JANIE
BILL
LITTLE SQUIRREL
LiTTLE DEER
LITTLE RABBIT
LITTLE BEAR
MR. WISE OLD OWL
SCENE 1
SETTING: The woods. A big fallen log in center, with bushes
around it.
AT RISE : JANIE and BILL enter, and head for fallen log, slowly.
BILL : Whew ! Let's sit down here and rest !
JANIE (Sits down with a sigh) : Oh, dear, I suppose we might
as well.
LITTLE SQUIRREL (Comes dancing on stage, and over to JANIE
and BILL) : Hello ! What are you two doing out in the woods?
BILL: Oh, hello, Little Squirrel!
JANIE : We're looking for a present for Mother. Sunday is Moth-
er's Day.
LITTLE SQUIRREL: What's Mother's Day?
JANIE: Oh, it's the day when we stop and remember how nice
Mother is —
BILL: And then give her a little present to let her know we think
she's nice.
JANIE : Only — we can't think what to give her.
LITTLE SQUIRREL: Why, that's easy! Give her a big, fat. juicy
nut! That's what I'd give my mother!
BILL (Laughing) : Oh, but that's different!
336
A PRESENT FOR MOTHER 337
JANIE : Our mother isn't a squirrel!
LITTLE DEER (Poking head through the bushes) : Whose mother
isn't a squirrel?
BILL and JANIE : Our mother !
LITTLE DEER (Stepping from bushes) : Well, of course not ! Who-
ever heard of such a thing !
LITTLE SQUIRREL: Well, since you know so much about it, maybe
you can help them.
LITTLE DEER: What's the troubble?
JANIE: Sunday is Mother's Day.
BILL: And we can't think of a present for Mother.
LITTLE DEER: What's Mother's Day?
LITTLE SQUIRREL: It's the day for showing their mother they
think she is nice.
LITTLE DEER: Oh. Let me think. (Gazes up in air, thinking, then
looks back at others) I have it ! Why don't you show her a fine
patch of new grass ! That's what I'd do for my mother !
JANIE: But what would she do with grass?
LITTLE DEER: Why, eat it, of course!
BILL : But, Little Deer, our Mother doesn't eat grass !
JANIE: She isn't a deer!
LITTLE SQUIRREL : Oh — ho ! ho ! ho ! (Holding his sides) And
you were so smart !
LITTLE DEER: Well, I did the best I could!
LITTLE RABBIT (Comes hopping around log) : Of course you did,
Little Deer ! You always do your best.
BILL: Hello, Little Rabbit!
JANIE : Maybe you have an idea !
LITTLE SQUIRREL : What can they give their mother for Mother's
Day?
LITTLE DEER : It's the day when you share with your Mother the
best patch of grass you've found. At least — (He adds hurried-
ly f with a glance at LITTLE SQUIRREL) — that's what Fd do for
my mother!
LITTLE SQUIRREL : Or bring her the biggest nut you could find !
BILL: A day for being especially nice to mother.
LITTLE RABBIT: I see. (Puts head on one side to think) I know!
BILL and JANIE: What? What?
LITTLE RABBIT: Give her a big juicy carrot from the farmer's
garden!
338 A PRESENT FOR MOTHER
DISMAYED CHORUS: Oh, no.
LITTLE RABBIT : Why not? That's what I'd give my mother ! . . .
JANIE: But our mother isn't a rabbit!
LITTLE RABBIT (Thoughtfully) : So she isn't, children.
BILL : Well, we're no nearer the answer than before.
LITTLE BEAR: What answer? (Pokes head up over fallen log,
then climbs over.)
BILL : We want a present for Mother.
JANIE : And we don't know what to get.
LITTLE SQUIRREL: It's Mother's Day.
LITTLE BEAR: What's that?
LITTLE RABBIT: A day to remember how good your mother is all
the days.
LITTLE SQUIRREL: And to give her a present to show you re-
member.
LITTLE BEAR: Why, how nice! That should be easy! (Stands
thinking, with paw on cheek, while the others wait expectantly)
Of course! Give her some honey! That's what I'd give my
mother, some sweet, golden honey to eat !
JANIE: But our mother isn't a bear! She likes honey, of course,
but — I don't think —
LITTLE BEAR: Honey won't do?
JANIE : I'm afraid not, Little Bear.
LITTLE DEER : We haven't been much help —
LITTLE SQUIRREL: I know ! Let's ask the Wise Old Owl !
LITTLE RABBIT: Of course! He knows everything!
LITTLE BEAR: He'll know the answer!
LITTLE DEER: Let's hurry and find him!
JANIE: All right, we'll ask the Wise Old Owl! (All leave the
stage, led by LITTLE SQUIRREL, who'is bragging — )
LITTLE SQUIRREL : I'm very good friends with the Wise Old Owl.
He lives in the hollow tree right next to me.
CURTAIN
A PRESENT FOR MOTHER 339
SCENE 2
SETTING : Slightly different woods scene f with hollow free in
center.
AT RISE : JANIE, BILL, and all the ANIMALS are grouped around
hollow tree.
BILL : You call him, Little Squirrel.
LITTLE SQUIRREL: Mr. Owl! Mr. Wise Old Owl!
WISE OLD OWL: Whooo?? Whoooo??
LITTLE SQUIRREL : It's Little Squirrel — and some friends. We
need your help !
WISE OLD OWL (Sticking head out of hollow in tree) : What do
you want me to do?
JANIE: It's Mother's Day, Mr. Wise Old Owl.
BILL : And we can't think what to give our Mother.
LITTLE RABBIT : We tried to help —
LITTLE SQUIRREL : But none of us can think what she'd like.
LITTLE BEAR : Not honey.
LITTLE DEER : Not grass.
LITTLE SQUIRREL : Not a nut !
LITTLE RABBIT : Not a carrot.
WISE OLD OWL: Well, well, well ! There's a very simple answer
to that!
JANIE: Oh, tell us what it is, then!
BILL: Yes, tell us, please!
ANIMALS : Please do !
WISE OLD OWL : Every day you see things you think are beauti-
ful, or odd, or interesting, don't you?
JANIE: Oh, yes!
WISE OLD OWL: Some of them you exclaim over, and show each
other, isn't that true?
BILL: Yes, we always do that!
WISE OLD OWL: And sometimes you .say, "Oh, I wish Mother
could see that!" Now, don't you?
JANIE and BILL : Yes !
WISE OLD OWL: Well, the next time you come to something that
makes you wish as hard as anything that Mother could see it —
JANIE: Yes?
340 A PRESENT FOR MOTHER
WISE OLD OWL: That's the present for Mother!
JANIE : Oh, I know just what you mean ! There was a patch of
wild flowers on the edge of the woods, and we stopped there a
long time just looking, and we wished and wished that Mother
could see them !
BILL : I remember ! Let's go pick some, Janie ! Then she could see
them!
JANIE: Oh, yes! Let's! (As they start off, JANIE looks back)
Thank you, Mr. Wise Old Owl, and goodbye !
BILL: And thanks to you, Little Bear, and Little Deer, and Little
Rabbit and Little Squirrel ! We're going to get our Mother some
pretty flowers!
LITTLE SQUIRREL : And I'm going to get my mother a big nut !
LITTLE DEER : And I'm going to get my mother some grass !
LITTLE RABBIT: And I'm going to get my mother a juicy carrot!
LITTLE BEAR: And I'm going to get my mother some sweet, gol-
den honey !
JANIE: Then we'll all be keeping Mother's Day!
BILL: What fun! (AU troop off.)
THE END
MOTHER'S GIFT
by Helen Littler Howard
Characters
DICKY, a little boy
SAMMY SQUIRREL
RITA RABBIT
DICKY'S MOTHER
BENNY BIRD
BECKY BEE
KORA KITTEN
SETTING: In front of curtain.
DICKY (From stage left) : Today is Mother's Day. I wish I had
something to give my mother to show her how glad I am that
she is my mother. She does so many things for me : she cooks
my food; she washes my clothes; she buys everything I need
for school, and she's always thinking of ways to make me happy.
(Looking in pockets) No use looking again, I have no money
to buy a present for her. What shall I do? (Thinking) I know.
I'll go into the woods and look for something. (Goes off stage
right. Curtains open.)
SETTING: The edge of a little wood.
AT RISE : Stage is empty. DICKY enters from right with several
things in his hands and arms.
DICKY : What a lot of nice gifts I've found ! (Showing each article
as he mentions it) I'll make a basket with these reeds, and I'll
put these nuts in it and tie this red ribbon with its little silver
bell around it. What a pretty gift it will make ! (Seeing SAMMY
SQUIRREL coming sadly from behind the tree, center.) There's
Sammy Squirrel. I wonder what is the matter with him. Hello,
Sammy. What makes you look so sad?
341
342 MOTHER'S GIFT
SAMMY (Coming to DICKY) : I can't find any nuts. I buried
some here behind this tree last fall and now they are not there.
DICKY: What did you want them for, Sammy?
SAMMY : My squirrel babies are hungry.
DICKY (Holding out nuts to SAMMY) : Here they are, Sammy.
I did not know that they were yours. I was looking for some-
thing to give my mother for Mother's Day. This is the day to
say "Thank you" for all she's done for me.
SAMMY (Taking nuts) : Oh, thank you, Dicky ! My baby squirrels
are so hungry. I hope you can find something else for your
mother. (Trots off stage right.)
DICKY : You're welcome, Sammy. I suppose I could fill the basket
with this pretty pink clover. It's the only clover I've seen in
bloom. (Picks clover.) Here comes Rita Rabbit down the path.
She seems to be looking for something. Hello, Rita.
RITA (Looking up from path as she enters stage left) : Hello,
Dicky. I'm so glad you're here. Maybe you can help me. My
little Bunny is sick and she longs so for some pink clover. I
thought I saw some along this path yesterday and it looked as
if it were just ready to bloom. Will you help me look for it?
DICKY (Hesitating) : I found it, Rita. (Holding out clover.)
Here it is. I was going to put it in a basket and give it to my
mother for Mother's Day, but I'm sure she'd rather I gave it
to you.
RITA: Oh, thank you so much, Dicky 1 I'm sure this will make
my little, sick Bunny feel better. (Runs off stage left.)
DICKY: I'm glad I could help the little, sick Bunny. (Looks
around) There's a bush of little flowers. How lucky I am to
find it. There aren't many flowers in the woods this year. These
are the only ones I've seen. I'll pick those and put them in the
basket. (Goes to bush, stage left.)
BECKY (Coming from behind bush) : Oh, please, Dicky, do not
pick these flowers! I need them. You see we are so short of
honey just now since there are so few flowers and our little
bees are just needing more honey.
DICKY : You may have them, Becky Bee. I did not mean to take
away the baby bees' food. I only wanted the flowers to put in
a basket I'm going to make for my mother.
BECKY: I'm sure you didn't mean to take the baby bees' food,
Dicky. Thank you for leaving it for them. (Flying away back
stage left.)
MOTHER'S GIFT 343
DICKY (Cheerfully) : 111 make the basket and put the ribbon aril
bell on it and give it to mother. (Hearing BENNY BIRD chirrup-
ing sadly) Why, what can make Benny Bird so sad?
BENNY (Hops in back stage right, chirruping sadly) : I cannot
find any reeds to finish my beautiful nest and my mate has no
place to put her eggs so that they will be safe until the little
birds come.
DICKY: Reeds? Did you say reeds? I have some. I was going to
weave a basket for my Mother but I'm sure she'd rather you
had them for a nest. You need them more than I do. (Gives
reeds to BENNY.)
BENNY: Oh, thank you, Dicky! Now I can finish my nest in time.
(Flies away.)
DICKY : Now I cannot make the basket, but I still have this pretty
ribbon and the tiny silver belL I wonder if it belonged to the
Fairy Queen?
KOBA (Coming in stage left) : Mew — mew — mew —
DICKY: What are you looking for, Kora? Could it be this little,
silver bell?
KORA (Running joyfully) : Indeed it is ! I lost it last night when
I came here to play in the moonlight. My little mistress is
dreadfully upset because I lost it (Arching her back.) I do
thank you, indeed.
DICKY: Here, little Mew, 111 tie it around your neck. Run home
quickly and show your mistress.
KORA (Trotting back stage left) : My little mistress has been cry-
ing almost all day. How glad she will be that the bell is found !
DICKY : Now, I have nothing at all to give my mother for Moth-
er's Day. I may as well go home and tell her. (Going off stage
right.)
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: In front of curtain.
DICKY (Entering stage right) : I hope Mother won't be too dis-
appointed.
344 MOTHER'S GIFT
MOTHER (Entering stage left) : Oh, Dicky, I've been looking
everywhere for you to thank you for my lovely Mother's Day
gifts!
DICKY (Astonished) : But, Mother, I have no gifts for you. I
gave them all to others who needed them. Sammy Squirrel need-
ed the nuts for his baby squirrels ; Rita Rabbit needed the clover
for her little, sick Bunny; Becky Bee wanted the flowers for
honey for the baby bees; Benny Bird needed the reeds I had
picked for a basket to finish his nest ; and the bell and ribbon I
found belonged to Kora Kitten.
MOTHER: Yes, Dicky, I know the whole story. You gave me such
lovely gifts. Sammy Squirrel, Rita Rabbit and Becky Bee came
to thank me for such a son as you are. Benny Bird came and
sang such a lovely, new song all about you, and Kora Kitten
came and rubbed her head against my knee and purred her
thanks. These are the nicest Mother's Day gifts I've ever had
because they are real gifts of love.
DICKY : I'm so glad, Mother. I did not know that by helping others
I was making a gift to you.
MOTHER : Those are the only real gifts, Dicky, gifts of love — for
real love is the willingness to serve others. Now I know that
you love others. No other gift could mean so much to me on
Mother's Day. (MOTHER and DICKY move off stage left.)
THE END
A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
by Alice Very
Characters
TWINKLE
SCRATCH:
SQUEEX
FRISKY
CUDDLES
FLUFFY
ROL.Y-PCXLY
MOUSER
PTTFF
STQREMAN
MOTHER MOUSE
SCENE 1
SETTING: A. mouse hole. Sign on wall, "Mice Working"
AT RISE: .Star MICE sit spinning f sewing, knitting, etc.
MICE (Singing") :
Some little mice sat down to spin.
Pussy came by and she popped her head in.
"What are you at, my little men?1*
"Making- coats for gentlemen."
"May I come in and snip off your threads ?"
"Oh, no, Mistress Pussy, you'll snip off our heads."
TWINKLE: What shall we make for Mother's Day?
SCRATCH : 1*11 spin.
WHISKERS; I will sew.
TINY: 111 knit.
SQUBEK: 111 crochet.
345
346 A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
FRISKY:
I know just the thing
For Mother— I'll make
A beautiful string
To tie round her neck.
(Stowing string.)
TWINKLE :
What good is a string
Without anything on it?
SCRATCH :
Let's buy her a ring
Or a pretty new bonnet —
WHISKERS:
I'd buy her a ring
Or a big golden locket,
But there isn't a thing
But holes in my pocket.
(Showing holes. A large "silver coin" rolls into the mouse
hole.)
TINY: Oh, goody!
SQUEEK : What luck I
FRISKY :
Let's run to the store I
There's a pretty gold bell
That hangs on the door.
TWINKLE: Oh, no!
SCRATCH: I'm afraid!
WHISKERS: I'm a good little mouse.
TIXY:
You know Mother told us
To stay in the house.
SQUEEK:
Come on, don't be scared.
Unfasten the latches.
FRISKY:
Run fast as you can
And no one will catch us.
unlatch door and run out, rotting coin along before.)
CURTAIN
* * *
A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER 347
SCENE 2
SETTING: A store. Door left uith a bell hanging on it, so as to
ring when the door is opened.
AT RISE : The STOREMAN is leaning on the counter. Enter MICE,
one by one, eath one slamming door and ringing bell. Last
MOUSE rolls in coin.
STOREMAN: Who's that at the door?
MICE: It's six little mice.
TWINKLE :
We want to buy something
That's really quite nice.
STOREMAN :
Well, what do you know !
Six mice in my store !
There must be a hole
Down under the floor.
SCRATCH :
Oh, please, Mr. Storeman,
We want you to sell —
WHISKERS :
Your neat little, sweet,
And complete little bell.
(MiCE roll their coin to the STOREMAN.)
STOREMAN :
That looks like a dollar
Rolled out of my till,
But if you return it
It may be I wilL
TINY:
You see, it's a present
For Mother today.
SQUEEK:
We're willing to pay you
Whatever you say.
STOREMAN:
All right, I will sell you
348 A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
My valuable bell,
If a song you will sing
Or a story will tell.
FRISKY:
We know a good song
And a story to tdl —
It's about a big frog
That lived in a well.
MICE (Singing) :
A Frog he would a-wooing go.
Heigh-ho, says Roly.
Whether his mother would let him or no.
With a roly poly, gammon and spinach,
Heigh-ho, says Anthony Roly.
(Etc.)
STOREMAN :
You sang that so well '
111 give you my bell.
(Takes down bell from the door and gives it to MICE, who tie
string to bell and run out, dragging the bell clattering behind
them.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: A room outside mouse hole.
AT RISE : KITTENS curled up cosily; yawn and stretch.
KITTENS : (Singing) :
"Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, where have you been?
Fve been to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you there?
I frightened a litde mouse under her chair."
A GOLDEN BETJ, FOR MOTHER
CUDDLES:
Come, Kittens, instead
Of taking your naps,
Please put on your heaxls
Your best thinking-caps.
FLUFFY: I've tried and I've tried —
ROLY-POLY: We all have tried too —
TUBBY:
But we can't quite decide
What present will do.
(Clattering of a bell along the floor, offstage, draws nearer.
KITTENS start up and prick up ears.)
MOUSER: Do you hear a queer noise?
PUFF: Yes, what can it be?
MOUSER:
Crawl under here, boys,
And wait till we see.
(KITTENS hide under table. Enter MICE, dragging bell).
MICE:
Oh, Mother, come here
And see what we brought !
KITTENS (Jumping out) :
Yes, hurry, I fear
You're going to be caught!
(Each KITTEN catches a MOUSE.)
CUDDLES:
I've got just the present
To give to my mother !
FLUFFY: And I have one too!
ROLY-POLY: And I have another!
TWINKLE:
Oh, please, Mr. Kitten,
Your mother, the Cat,
Will eat us all up—
SCRATCH : And we wouldn't like that.
TUBBY:
There's nothing so nice —
Or so I've heard say —
As fat little mice
For dear Mother's Day.
3 SO A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
WHISKERS :
Oh, yes, there is something-
Far better than mice.
Perhaps we might sell
If you paid us the price*
MOTJSER: "What's better than mice?
PUFF : We dare you to tell !
TINY:
There's nothing so nice
As a beautiful bell.
{Ringing bell)
SQUEEK :
Now where could you find
.A. present like that ?
Our mother, you see,
Rates more than a cat.
FRISKY:
Too bad it's the last —
You won't find another —
But nothing-'s too good
For dear Mcmsie Mother.
Gur>r>LES : Just look at that bell !
FLUFFY : Let me see it too !
ROLY-POLY: Say, that would look well!
TUBBY: Do you think it would do?
MOUSER :
I think it would go
On the front of her collar.
TWINKLES: It's valuable, though.
SCRATCH : It cost us a dollar.
PUFF:
See here, little mice,
If you will agree,
You give us your bell
And we'll let you go free.
WHISKERS :
"What! give you our bell?
Then -what should \ve do?
KITTENS:
Hut ive need a present
A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER 351
For Mother's Day too.
TINY : We know how you feel.
SQUEEK: You need it, we see.
FRISKY :
We'll agree to the deal
If you let us go free.
(Mies give bell to KITTENS who run off with it joyfully, while
MICE scamper into mouse hole.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: Same as SCENE 1.
AT RISE : MICE busy as in SCENE 1.
Enter MOTHER MOUSE. MICE run to hug her.
MOTHER MOUSE:
Were my children all good
While I was away?
TWINKLE:
Yes, as good as we could,
But we're sorry to say —
SCRATCH :
We have nothing to give
Our dear Mother today.
MOTHER MOUSE:
Dear Children, you know
There's nothing so nice
As my snug little hole
And my six little mice.
But I've very good news —
I can't wait to tell—
352 A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
They have hung on the cat
A wonderful bell!
WHISKERS: A bell on the cat!
TINY: What's good about that?
MOTHER MOUSE:
Why, child, don't you see?
The bell makes us free.
We mice can have fun
Till it warns us to run.
She'll never come stealing
To catch us at play;
The bell's merry pealing
Will give her away.
SQUEEK:
Hooray, hooray!
For Mother's Day!
FRISKY:
The cat is belled:
The mice can play !
MOTHER MOUSE:
Sh, sh, I hear
She's coming near!
(Sound of bell offstage, coming nearer and then dying away.
MICE sit giggling with paws over mouths as they listen; then
dance in a circle.)
MICE:
Hooray, hooray!
For Mother's Day!
The Cat is belled:
The Mice can play !
THE END
SEE THE PARADE
by Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen
Characters ^
MOTHER
FATHER
RALPH CARROLL
JOHNNIE CARROLL
DORIS CARROLL
GRANDPA
CHARLIE SCOTT
TIME : Memorial Day.
SETTING : An American living room.
AT RISE : MOTHER is seated on the sofa while JOHNNIE, a boy of
twelve dressed in a Boy Scout uniform, stands near her. MOTHER
is brushing the back of JOHNNIE'S coat. He holds his Boy Scout
hat in his hand.
JOHNNIE: Mom, I brushed my hat before. Does it look all right?
MOTHER: Of course, Johnnie.
JOHNNIE: And I shined my shoes.
MOTHER: A lot of good that will do after you've paraded for an
hour or so.
JOHNNIE : But Mom, your whole uniform has got to be perfect for
a parade and that includes your shoes, too. The Scoutmaster
said so.
MOTHER: Yes, dear, I know. (She rises, puts brush on small table
near sofa.) Well, I'm just glad that this parade happens only
once a year. I've spent all morning getting the members of this
family ready.
JOHNNIE: Then where are they? Where's Dad and Ralph? And
Grandpa was going to meet us here. Doris is out on the porch
practicing with her baton — and everyone's starting to line up
353
354 SEE THE PARADE
at the corner now, Mom — see? (He runs to window.) The
parade will be starting —
MOTHER (Walking over to window, too): Nonsense, there's
plenty of time (FATHER enters wearing World War I uni-
form. He puts his hat on table left. He is rubbing his sleeves
over the brass buttons on his coat. MOTHER turns as he
comes in.)
FATHER: Alice, do these buttons look shined up enough to you?
MOTHER : Yes, Henry. If I tried, I could see myself in them.
FATHER: Well, they ought to look nice — I've spent all morning
on them.
JOHNNIE: Say, Dad, we'd better hurry!
FATHER : Oh — lots of time yet. Alice, this place here at the side
where you let my coat out —
MOTHER: What's the matter with that?
FATHER: Nothing, but I wondered if it showed
MOTHER : Of course it doesn't show. Henry Carroll, I never knew
men could be so vain.
JOHNNIE: It's because of the parade, Mom — and if you think
we're vain, you ought to see Doris strutting around.
FATHER (Still fussing with coat) : Alice, a man doesn't like to fed
he's gained so much weight he can't wear his uniform.
MOTHER (Laughing a little) : Well, what do you expect after
thirty years? (GRANDPA enters right, wearing uniform of
Spanish American War.)
GRANDPA (Very chipper) : Howdy, folks, how are you?
JOHNNIE: Gramp — you look super!
MOTHER (Smiling at him) : Hello, Father.
JOHNNIE: Didn't you bring Grandma?
GRANDPA: Grandma's sitting on the porch waiting for the parade
to start
MOTHER: Oh, fine — I'll go down and sit with her if I ever get
this family of mine ready. Henry's feeling bad because I had to
let out his coat (She sits on sofa again.)
FATHER: Now, Alice —
MOTHER: Yes, you are, Henry.
GRANDPA : Say, I remember Grandma had to let mine out when I
was about your age, Henry. Now, I'm so old I'm getting thin
again.
SEE THE PARADE 355
JOHNNIE : See, Dad, all you got to do is wait till you're as old as
Gramp.
GRANDPA: Sure — another twenty-five years and you can have
Alice take that coat in again. (ALICE laughs. GRANDPA sits in
easy chair right.) Say, where's Ralph?
FATHER : Getting his uniform on, I suppose. I tell you, I'm going
to be mighty proud having my son marching beside me today.
GRANDPA : Yep — there'll be three generations of us, Henry. I
remember how proud I felt when you got back from World
War I and could march beside me. Now you feel the same way
about Ralph. So do I. After all, he's my grandson.
JOHNNIE: I'm your grandson, too, I guess. What about Doris and
me? Aren't you proud to be marching with us?
GRANDPA : Of course I am. I saw Doris out on the porch just now.
She looks mighty pretty.
JOHNNIE: Yeah, now that she's a drum majorette — (DORIS, a
girl of fifteen, runs in right. She is swinging a baton.)
DORIS : Mother — Mother, I've been practicing again. How do I
look?
MOTHER: Like something out of an operetta, dear. Very nice,
indeed.
DORIS: Do you want to see me throw my baton?
MOTHER: Oh, not in here, dear, the ceiling's not very high —
you might break something.
DORIS: Break something? You don't think I'm going to drop it,
do you? (She throws baton lightly into air and catches it.)
FATHER: Look out for the lamps. (He sits left.)
JOHNNIE : It is kind of crowded in here, Doris.
DORIS: Oh, I'm good, I am. (She throws baton higher this time
and drops it. She looks crestfallen.)
JOHNNIE : Hey, you dropped it You're not going to do that in the
parade, are you?
DORIS : Of course not. The ceiling is too low — that's what's the
matter. But look at the way I'm going to strut. (She marches
right and left swinging her baton back and forth in front of her
in style of drum major and now and then twirling it.)
GRANDPA (Stamping feet and clapping hands) : Best I've ever
seen in all my years of parades !
DORIS: Do I twirl my baton gracefully, do you think?
JOHNNIE: Gracefully. Listen to her. You talk about us men folks
being vain, Mom —
356 SEE TEE PARADE
DORIS: I'm not vain. I just want to do it well. After all, when I'm
going to lead —
JOHNNIE: You're not leading the parade.
DORIS : I didn't say I was. But I'm leading one part of it.
JOHNNIE: Grandpa and the old fellows are leading the parade.
GRANDPA: Old fellows, humph! (He rises jauntily.) Be careful
whom you're calling old. You're as young as you fed and today
I feel sixteen — yes, siree. Sixteen! (He grabs DORIS and
dances her around.)
MOTHER : My goodness, you'd all better save your energy for the
parade. It's a good thing I'm not marching. At least someone
will have pep enough left to fix our picnic lunch.
JOHNNIE: Gee, Mom, I'm hungry already. Are we going to have
hamburgers?
MOTHER: Yes, dear, and potato salad and pickles and —
FATHER (Looking at watch) : Where is Ralph? Johnnie, you'd
better run up to his room and tell him we're all waiting for him.
JOHNNIE: O.K., Dad. (He runs out left.)
DORIS {Still twirling baton) : Ralph's probably busy pinning on
all his medals. After all, this is the first parade he's been in since
he got home. (A band is playing off. DORIS runs to win-
dow.) Look — there's the Legion band — they're all lined up
at the corner. Oh, parades are such fun.
GRANDPA: They're not all fun — at least for us grown-ups. They
make us remember things that we ought to remember. (JOHNNIE
runs back in.)
JOHNNIE: Ralph's not in his room, Dad.
FATHER (Rising) : Not in his room? What on earth — have you
seen him, Alice?
MOTHER: Why, I — not since early this morning, I guess. I've
been so busy —
DORIS : Maybe he got ready early and went on down to meet some
of the other fellows. Come on, Johnnie. Let's run down to the
corner and see.
JOHNNIE: All right. (DORIS and JOHNNIE rush out right.)
FATHER (Walking about) : 1 just can't understand this. I'm sure
Ralph knew what time we were to be ready and that you were
going to meet us here, Father.
GRANDPA: Well, maybe he went down already the way Doris said.
Young fellow like that wants to talk to his own buddies.
SEE TEE PARADE 357
FATHER : I don't think so. His best friend can't march at all, you
know. Charlie's always been his buddy.
GRANDPA: Charlie? Charlie who?
MOTHER : You know, Father — Charlie Scott next door. The boy
who came home blind.
GRANDPA : Sure — sure, I do — getting so old I forget names.
That was an awful thing — Charlie losing his sight.
MOTHER : Ralph still isn't over it I think he minds Charlie being
blind more than Charlie does. They went all through the war
together and then when that mine blew up in Charlie's face —
oh, it seems terrible. (RALPH, a tall young man in his twenties,
enters left. He is not wearing a uniform. He stops as he sees
everyone in the room.)
RALPH : Oh — Mom, Dad — and Gramp, too. I — I thought
you'd be gone.
MOTHER (Rising and going to him) : Ralph, where have you
been? We've been worried.
RALPH : I just took a walk, Mom, and I came in the back way.
Didn't want to run into the parade.
FATHER: But son, it's late — and your uniform — you're not
ready.
RALPH: My uniform?
GRANDPA : Yes, boy, it's almost time to start. We've been waiting
for you.
RALPH : But you — you didn't think I was going to march in that
parade?
FATHER: Didn't think — of course we thought. Why, I've been
looking forward to it for weeks — having you march beside me —
RALPH : I — I'm sorry, Dad. I thought you knew how I felt. Par-
ades seem silly to me.
GRANDPA: Silly?
RALPH : What good does all that marching up and down the street
do the boys who died ? And bands playing — they can't hear the
bands. And how about Charlie Scott? He can't even see your
parade.
GRANDPA : I know, Ralph, but it's in honor of all those boys — not
only of your buddies but of all the men who have fought for our
country. It makes us remember. —
RALPH : I don't want to remember. (He turns away.)
FATHER: Ralph, the children — Doris and Johnnie — they'll be
disappointed, too. The children love the parade.
358 SEE THE PARADE
RALPH : Well, I'm not a child, Dad. Fm sorry — really — to dis-
appoint you all, but I just can't see it. Making a big splash and
show about something as serious as war —
MOTHER (Going to him and putting her hand on his shoulder) :
Ralph, dear, please, everyone's been looking forward to this
day. Won't you forget the way you feel? Won't you put on your
uniform and —
RALPH : I wish I could, Mom, but I can't. I've had enough of my
uniform. No, you go along, Dad — I'm not going to march.
(DoRis and JOHNNIE run in right.)
DORIS: We didn't see Ralph — (She stops) Oh, here he is,
Johnnie.
JOHNNIE: Hi, Ralph. You'd better hurry.
FATHER : Your brother is not going to march, children.
JOHNNIE : Not going to — Ralph, you —
FATHER: Never mind, Johnnie. (Picking up his hat and starting
right) Come along, we'd better go down and get in line.
DORIS : But Dad, what's the matter with Ralph?
FATHER: I said never mind. Now, come along — come along,
Father.
GRANDPA : Yep, all right — expect that's the best thing to do. (He
looks back at RALPH once more and then marches out.)
FATHER: Goodbye, Alice. We'll see you later.
MOTHER : Goodbye, dear. (FATHER and DORIS and JOHNNIE go
out. There is a pause. RALPH looks at his mother.)
RALPH: You — you think I'm selfish, don't you, Mom?
MOTHER: I — I don't know, dear. I ju»t don't understand.
RALPH : I did my job while I was needled.
MOTHER: As if we didn't know that We only have to look at
your medals —
RALPH : Medals — they're shoved away in a drawer. I never look
at them. And what good do you suppose Charlie's medals do
him? He's got lots of medals, too.
MOTHER: Ralph, you — you seem so bitter about Charlie. You
shouldn't be. I don't think he is.
RALPH : Mom, I don't see why you can't understand how I fed.
War is a grim business. We all want to forget the fighting and
the bloodshed, but we don't want people to forget that it is grim.
And lots of people already have forgotten that. Are we really
working for peace — all of us? I don't tfa'nlf so — we're quar-
SEE THE PARADE 359
reling among ourselves about petty, unimportant things —
MOTHER: But that's just the point, dear. The parade —
RALPH : The parade ! Bands blaring — men marching — playing
at war — what good will that do?
CHARLIE (Off right. Calling) : Ralph — Ralph — are you there?
Mrs. Carroll —
RALPH: It's Charlie.
MOTHER (Moving right) : 111 go, dear. Charlie — I'm coming,
Charlie. (CHARLIE appears at door, wearing uniform of World
War IL He feels his way with his cane but must not give the
impression of a sorry figure. He stands very straight and is
smiling.)
CHARLIE: Is it you, Mrs. Carroll?
MOTHER (Taking his arm) : Yes, Charlie. (RALPH stands still,
staring at CHARLIE because of his uniform.)
CHARLIE: I'm really getting very expert at finding my way
around. Mother helped me across the yard but I managed your
front porch just with the cane here. I was hoping Ralph hadn't
gone.
RALPH (Moving forward to CHARLIE. MOTHER steps back) :Here
I am, Charlie, old boy, right here. Charlie, you're — you're
wearing your uniform.
CHARLIE: Certainly I'm wearing my uniform. Isn't there a parade?
All my medals, too — really showing off today ... (Feeling
RALPH'S shoulders) Why — why, Ralph, old boy, where's
yours?
RALPH : I — I haven't got on my uniform.
CHARLIE: Then you'd better hurry — time to start I thought
maybe you could find me a good spot on the sidelines some-
where before you started to march.
RALPH : You — you want to go to the parade?
CHARLIE: Certainly I want to.
RALPH : But you can't even see it. I — I'm sorry, Charlie, I didn't
mean to say it like that
CHARLIE: It's all right, Ralph. We know I'm blind. But that's
not going to stop me from really seeing — from doing some of
the things I want to do in the world — and what I want to do
right now is see that parade. I can see it in my mind and I can
hear it Get into your uniform, come on.
RALPH : I — I wasn't going to march, Charlie. I wasn't going.
CHARLIE: What's that?
360 SEE THE PARADE
RALPH : Dad and Grandpa waited for me, but I couldn't. The
whole thing seems stupid to me.
CHARLIE: The parade?
RALPH : Bands playing, men marching — for what? What does it
mean?
CHARLIE: It doesn't mean anything, I guess, if you don't look be-
neath the surface — if you don't really see. If you don't see that
it's a sign that we haven't forgotten — that we're going to try
and make peace work.
RALPH : A sign? I never thought of it like that
CHARLIE: A sign — a symbol — whatever you want to call it.
There are lots of things we do in this world, just simple things
perhaps, that remind us of deeper things.
RALPH : That's true.
CHARLIE : And of course it is stupid to have parades if folks aren't
going to see why we have them. If they're just going to see them
with their eyes and not with their minds — if they're not going
to understand. Why, blind as I am, I can see.
RALPH : Yes, you do see, Charlie — so much more than I do.
(FATHER re-enters right, his shoulders sagging a little.)
MOTHER: Why, Henry.
FATHER: I — I came back, Alice. Let Grandpa and the young
ones inarch. I guess the parade's for them.
RALPH : No — no, it isn't, Dad. It's for all of us. I'm going to
get my uniform on — wait for me.
FATHER: Ralph! You're going to march?
RALPH : You bet I am. Charlie's made me see what a parade really
means. He's made me see the light. (He rushes out left.)
FATHER : Charlie — you look fine in your uniform, boy.
CHARLIE: Thank you, sir. You do, too, I know.
FATHER: Charlie, what did you say to Ralph?
CHARLIE: Why, only that a parade isn't just a parade. It's a sym-
bol of something bigger, sin
FATHER: Ah, that's what I had in mind, but I couldn't express
myself.
CHARLIE: The way I feel, sir, if the people watching that parade
today — and the ones marching too — can just remember why
all the men who aren't there were willing to die for their coun-
try — well, it will be worthwhile, sir. Those men wanted to
make a better world. It's up to us to keep faith with them.
THE END
PINK PARASOL
by Helen Louise Miller
Characters
SALLY MARSHALL
MRS. MARSHALL
SALLY RANDOLPH
MRS. RANDOLPH
CURTIS RANDOLPH
DORA RANDOLPH
MARY Lou RANDOLPH
CLAYTON RANDOLPH
A FEDERAL SOLDIER
SCENE 1
SETTING: A corner of a garden.
AT RISE: MRS. MARSHALL and her daughter SALLY enter left.
Both are carrying armloads or baskets of flowers.
SALLY: Oh Mother, please couldn't I have my birthday presents
before we take the flowers to the cemetery?
MOTHER: What makes you think there'll be any presents this
year?
SALLY: Oh, I know therell be presents. You and Brother Don
have been whispering together for days ; and last week I saw a
big package with a foreign postmark in the halL 111 bet that
was from Daddy.
MOTHER: Maybe you're right. But a soldier's daughter should
be more interested in paying tribute to the soldiers of yester-
day than she is in her own birthday presents . . . particularly
if she happens to be born on Memorial Day.
SALLY: I know you're right, Mother, but I just love birthdays —
especially my own. Maybe I am a little pig, but I can't get my
mind off those presents.
361
362 PINK PARASOL
MOTHER (Smiling) : Well, after all, your tenth birthday comes
only once in a lifetime, so I tell you what we'll do. We'll com-
promise.
SALLY: Com . . . pro . . . what's that?
MOTHER: I'll give you one of your presents now. Then we'll take
the flowers out to the cemetery, stay for the services, and have
the rest of the presents after awhile.
SALLY: Will there be speeches and everything same as last year?
MOTHER: Even more so. This year the Governor of the State is
the guest of honor at our Memorial Day program.
SALLY : Oh dear ! The speeches are so long and dry ! Must we go ?
MOTHER: Why, Sally Marshall! Memorial Day is one of our
greatest National Holidays. But I suppose to you, Memorial
Day means only one thing.
SALLY: My birthday!
MOTHER: Exactly. Very well. Do you want your present now?
SALLY: Oh, yes ... please.
MOTHER (Pointing to package on table) : Then there it is.
SALLY: Oh, I'm so excited. Is it from you? (Begins to open
package.)
MOTHER : No ... not from me.
SALLY: From Don?
MOTHER: No.
SALLY: Not from Daddy?
MOTHER: No.
SALLY: Then who in the world could have sent this? And what
do you suppose it could be?
MOTHER: It's from someone you have never seen.
SALLY (Opening parcel and holding up an old-fashioned pink
parasol) : A parasol! (With disappointment) But. . .but. . .it's
not a new one. It looks terribly old and faded.
MOTHER: That's not surprising when I tell you that the person
who gave it to you lived here in this house and played in this
garden about ninety years ago. The parasol itself is eighty
years old.
SALLY: Why, Mother! What a strange present! Tell me ...
who really did send it to me?
MOTHER: To tell the truth ... I did. But I want you to consider
it a gift from one of your ancestors... your great-great-great
Aunt Sally Randolph. You were named for her, and just
PINK PARASOL 363
eighty years ago today she received this parasol, here in this
garden, as her tenth birthday present
SALLY : It sounds like a fairy story.
MOTHER : But it is a true story. Let's sit down a few minutes and
I'll tell you all about the pink parasol and explain why I have
given it to you. (MOTHER and SALLY sit on bench outside cur-
tains which slowly close after they are seated.)
SALLY : I always love your stories, Mother, and it's a special treat
to hear one about my birthday present.
MOTHER : When Sally Randolph was a little girl, she must have
been a great deal like you, and I guess her mother had as much
trouble as I do, keeping her birthday presents a surprise. Sally's
tenth birthday occurred during the Civil War.
SALLY: And was she disappointed about not having a birthday
party on account of the butter and sugar shortage?
MOTHER: No, I guess she wasn't very much disappointed about a
birthday party, for her three cousins lived dose by, and every
time they got together it was as good as a party. At the be-
ginning of my story, Mrs. Randolph was sitting in the garden
lengthening one of Sally's skirts and watching the children play.
She was happy because it was her little girl's birthday ; but she
was also sad because her only son, Clayton, was in the war,
and she hadn't heard from him for some time. She was also
nervous and worried because this town had been captured by
the Yankees and Northern soldiers were in command. A Fed-
eral Major and his staff were quartered in this very house. But
although Mrs. Randolph had her troubles, she was not too de-
spondent to enjoy the children and their fun.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : Same garden scene.
AT RISE: MRS. RANDOLPH is sewing as she sits on the garden
364 PINK PARASOL
bench watching the four children playing and singing Rig-a- jig-
jig, or any other singing game.
MRS. RANDOLPH : You children had best sit down in the shade
and cool off. It's too soon after dinner for such a romp.
SALLY: That will help us work up an appetite for supper.
CURTIS : I guess Aunty won't want us to work up too big an ap-
petite. Mother says she is always thankful when she gets us
fifled up at one meal, but before she turns around, it's time for
the next
MRS. RANDOLPH : Feeding the family was never a problem to any
of us before this dreadful war.
SALLY: Anyhow, we did manage a birthday cake and that's a real
treat these days.
DORA: A birthday cake is always a treat, and you're a lucky girl,
Cousin Sally, to get so many presents.
MRS. RANDOLPH: Indeed, she is. And be sure to thank your
mother for the scent bottle and the lace mitts. Sally shall write
her a note the first thing in the morning.
MARY Lou: Oh, Aunt Harriet, won't you let Sally drive home
with us this evening to spend a few days? Then she could thank
Mother herself and wouldn't need to write a note.
SALLY: Oh, could I, Mother? Please.
MRS. RANDOLPH : That would be very nice, Mary Lou, but I don't
like the notion of having Sally away from home just now.
DORA: But Rose Hill isn't "away from home." Really it isn't
Sally is as much at home over there as she is here.
MRS. RANDOLPH : I know. But you children just don't under-
stand Somehow I can't bear to have Sally out of my sight
since your Uncle Leigh and Clayton are gone.
CURTIS: I understand, Aunt Harriet Mother is the same way.
She says she's like an old mother hen when we children aren't
right under her wing. And I'm sure if it hadn't been Sally's
birthday, she wouldn't have wanted us all to leave today.
SALLY: Oh, this hateful old war! I'm getting plenty sick and
tired of it! It spoils all our fun. No parties! No visiting! No
barbecues! Nothing but made-over clothes and doing without
things! I dedare I just hate war and battles and uniforms and
soldiers!
D(*A:SodoI!
PINK PARASOL 365
MARY Lou : Me, too. There better not be any nasty old wars when
I grow up. I don't want to marry a soldier who's always tearin*
off to war some place. I want my husband to stay at home
with me.
MRS. RANDOLPH: And I hope that's the sort of husband you'll
have, my dear. Nobody likes war . . . not even the men . . .
and least of all the women. But don't let me hear you talking
about hating soldiers. Remember . . . our fathers and husbands
and brothers are all soldiers these days.
MARY Lou : Oh, I know they are, Aunt Harriet, and I don't really
hate them ... not our own boys anyhow. But oh dear! I do
wish the whole thing would be over.
CURTIS : Well, I don't — not till I'm old enough to get into it
MRS. RANDOLPH : Curtis Randolph ! Don't you ever let me hear
you talk like that again. What would your mother say?
CURTIS: Oh, I'm sorry, Aunt Harriet! I know how worried you
are about Clayton and Uncle Leigh, but confound it! Clayton's
only two or three years older than I am, and he's right there
in all the excitement . . . and here I am sitting at home learning
Latin verbs from old Dr. Foster and helping Uncle Zeke hoe
a turnip patch.
MRS. RANDOLPH: And I suppose you call that doing nothing at
all. But I daresay boys are all alike. That's exactly the way
Clayton talked before he left. It seemed such a great adventure
to him. I wonder how he feels about it now. . . . (Sighs) Just
a year. . . and it seems a lifetime.
SALLY: Don't talk about it any more, Mother. It just makes you
feel worse. But I know you keep thinking about my party last
year when Clayton wore his uniform for the first time. He
looked so handsome! And we were all so proud of him!
MRS. RANDOLPH: Yes indeed! And we're still mighty proud of
him! But he was too young. He didn't realize the seriousness
of what he was going into. Why, he even talked of coming back
in a year with another birthday present for you . . . and now,
poor lad, his own home is occupied by the enemy. And goodness
knows where he is today.
CURTIS : Don't worry about Clayton, Aunt Harriet You can be
sure that wherever he is, he's able to look out for himself.
MARY Lou (In excitement) : Look, look, Aunt Harriet Some-
body's coming up the drive. Look how funny he's walking.
366 PINK PARASOL
DORA : It looks like a tramp . . . maybe we better go inside.
CURTIS: Fraidy cat! Why should you be afraid of a tramp? A
fine soldier you'd make!
SALLY (Almost screaming): Look! Mother! Mother! Look!
Don't you see who it is? It's not a tramp . . . it's —
MRS. RANDOLPH: Clayton! It's your brother, Clayton! (Starts
running toward the wings. CLAYTON appears dressed in the
remnants of a dirty, bedraggled uniform. He carries a brown
paper-wrapped parcel. He walks with a halting step and almost
leans on his mother as he embraces her.)
MRS. RANDOLPH: Clayton! Clayton! My boy! You're home
again! Oh, My son! What's happened to you? Are you hurt?
CLAYTON: No, no, Mother. Just tired. Now don't be so upset
This shouldn't be such a shock to you ! I told you I'd be home
for Sally's birthday.
SALLY: Clayton! Clayton! You did come after all I can hardly
believe it! We were just talking about last year and how you
promised you'd be here today.
CURTIS AND THE OTHERS : Hello, Clayton. Welcome home! Well,
isn't this a surprise? etc., etc. (During the greetings, they all
move center stage.)
MRS. RANDOLPH : Here, dear, sit down. You must be nearly dead.
Oh, you poor boy. Look at those shoes! How far have you
walked? Are you hungry? When did you eat last?
CLAYTON: One question at a time, Mother. (Sits down) Ah-ah!
(Sighs) That's more like it... and as for eating, just let me
show you what I could do to some of Aunt Bessie's biscuits
and a plate of fried chicken!
MRS. RANDOLPH : I won't promise you fried chicken, but I'll find
something for you to eat at once. You sit right here and rest
and 111 bring you something right away.
CLAYTON (Catching hold of her skirt to stop her and attempting
to rise) : No ... no ... Don't wait on me as if I were visiting
royalty. Fll rest here a minute and then we'll go up to the house.
Hungry as I am, I wouldn't want to eat before I clean up a bit
SALLY: Oh, but Clayton ... you cafc't You can't go up to the
house.
CLAYTON: I can't go up to the house? And why not? (Silence)
Why not? What has happened to the house? It hasn't been
burned I could see it as I came up the river road, and I can tell
PINK PARASOL 367
you that was a relief. I've passed so many places that are in
ruins. It gave me fresh courage when I saw the roof and
chimney tops of Locust Hall.
CURTIS: Well, you see, Clayton. . . . Confound it, man, hasn't
anyone told you? The Yankees are in charge here. As a matter
of fact, Major Henderson of Massachusetts has your old room.
His whole staff is quartered at Locust Hall. To tell the truth,
you're not safe here, Cousin Clayton. We'll have to think of a
way to hide you.
CLAYTON: A Yankee Officer in my room! Why, the nerve!
Mother, I'll have the whole tribe of *em out of here by nightfall.
MRS. RANDOLPH : Hush, hush, Clayton. You must rest. You're
hardly fit to stand up ... let alone get into an argument with a
parcel of Yankees. Curtis is right Well get you something
to eat and try to think of a plan to keep you here a few days
till you're stronger. Fortunately, the house is empty just now.
I'm fairly sure that all of the men have gone into the village.
CURTIS : Suppose I stand guard down by the entrance to the drive,
and send the girls up to the house to get Dayton some food
and be ready to sound the alarm if anyone comes back by the
other road. That will give you and Clayton and Sally a little
time to visit in peace and quiet
CLAYTON : Curt, you've grown up while I've been away. His sug-
gestions are good, mother. Well do as he says.
CURTIS : Right. Then, I'm off for the driveway. If you hear me
whistle three times, somebody's coming ... so get under cover,
(Exit CURTIS.)
DORA: Mary Lou and I will run up to the house. She can bring
you the food and 111 stand guard up in the cupola. From there
I can see in every direction.
MRS. RANDOLPH: Don't even tell Aunt Bessie that he's here,
Mary Lou. Just ask her to fix a tray with some sandwiches
and milk and cake and anything else that she happens to have.
Bring it down here as fast as you can.
MARY Lou : I will, Aunt Harriet Oh, Clayton, I'm so glad you're
here.
DORA: Come on, Mary Lou. Clayton will like us a lot better if
we can bring him some food. (Girls exit.)
SALLY: Oh, Clayton, it seems like a dream to have you home
again.
368 PINK PAXASOL
CLAYTON : And it's like a dream to be here with you and Mother
... but not exactly the kind of dream I'd like it to be.
MRS. RANDOLPH: But where on earth did you come from? And
where have you been that we haven't heard from you ? I've been
worried sick.
CLAYTON: Sorry, Mother. It's a secret The kind I can't talk
about, so let's not waste time on that now. Something tells
me I won't be here very long so let's make the most of Sally's
birthday.
MRS. RANDOLPH : Clayton — you don't mean that your bttsiness
is so secret and so dangerous that it would mean death if you
were to be caught here.
CLAYTON : Nonsense, of course not It's just . . . well, just a little
errand I'm doing for a friend of mine. Now don't bother your
head about m2itaiy affairs. This is a family party ... not a court
of inquiry. Look here, Sally, didn't I tell you I was going to
bring you a present?
SALLY: You sure did, Clay ... but I know you haven't had any
time for presents.
CLAYTON: The mischief, I haven't. What do you call this? (Holds
up package.) Here's as fine a present as any little girl could
expect in the whole state of Georgia. . . . Quick now, open it up
and see what it is. The wrappings aren't very fancy, but I think
you'll like what's inside.
MRS. RANDOLPH: The same old generous spirit! The war hasn't
taken that out of you.
SALLY (Opening package and disclosing pink parasol identical
with the one the other SALLY had) : Oh, Clayton, where did you
get it? It's darling! Look at the dear little ruffles and the lovely
handle. And if s my favorite color. I declare you're the best
brother in the world. Isn't it beautiful, Mother?
MRS. RANDOLPH: It certainly is. It looks like a big pink rose
turned inside out
SALLY: 111 carry it to church on Sunday. All the girls will be
green with envy.
MRS. RANDOLPH : That* s not a Christian spirit, Sally.
CLAYTON: But just like a girl, Mother. Never saw one yet that
wouldn't put her vanity ahead of her soul . . . that is all except
Mrs. Randolph and she is three-fourths angel to start with.
Mas. RANDOLPH (Laughing) : Well, Mrs. Randolph's children
PINK PARASOL 369
don't show any signs of sprouting wings, although she does
have the best son in the whole Confederate army. But seriously,
Clayton, I'm afraid you're running a frightful risk to come here.
SALLY : I'd never get over it if anything should happen to you on
account of my birthday.
CLAYTON : Nothing is going to happen to me, so get that idea out
of your bonnet. I bear a charmed life. {Sound of whistle off-
stage.) Uh-Oh! I missed my guess that time. That's Curt's
signal. I'll have to clear out of here in short order. (MARY Lou
enters with a tray of food. She is almost breathless.)
MARY Lou : Mercy me ! I thought I'd never get here with this
tray. That whistle of Curt's most scared the wits out of me!
But here's your lunch, Clayton, safe and sound.
MRS. RANDOLPH : He'll have no time for it now. We'll have to
risk taking him up to the house. We'll manage to find a hiding
place for him.
SALLY: Then we'll have to hurry. Come on, Clayton. You can
hide in my room and 111 smuggle your meals in to you.
MARY Lou : Then this evening well try to sneak you out of the
house and take you home with us.
MRS. RANDOLPH : We can hide you in the bottom of the wagon
. . . (Enter DORA, also breathless and excited.) For mercy's
sake, Dora, what is it? You look as if you had seen a ghost.
DORA : Oh, Aunt Harriet, Major Henderson is on his way to the
house by the short cut. I just caught sight of him as he rounded
the big bend in the road above the bridge. What on earth shall
we do?
CLAYTON (With a short laugh) : Looks as if we're surrounded,
eh? Well, one thing's certain. We'll not try to reach the house
ahead of him. We'd never make it.
MRS. RANDOLPH : Oh, Clayton, Clayton ! We won't let them take
you. We'll find a way to hide you.
CLAYTON : I'm not exactly worried, Mother . . . not yet. I've been
in some pretty tight places before. (Whistle is repeated.) By
George ! There's our sentinel giving us another warning. They
must be closing in on me. Look, Mother. I don't want to fright-
en you, but it is important for me to escape. Not just to save
my own skin, but because of information I'm carrying back to
our lines. If only we could stall them off till dusk, I'd follow
your plan for getting to Rose Hill and then leave from there in
370 PINK PARASOL
the morning. If only I could disappear for a while, become invis-
ible or something.
MRS. RANDOLPH (Seising skirt she had been sewing on) : Here,
here, son. Try this. Quick. Put it on.
CLAYTON: Hey! Wait a minute. What are you trying to do? I
can't escape in this thing.
DORA (Helping to force CLAYTON into the skirt) : Oh, Aunt
Harriet, that's a wonderful idea. We'll be able to hide him in
plain sight of the enemy.
MRS. RANDOLPH : There ! It's a little short, but you'll have to
draw your feet up under you.
SALLY (Half laughing) : But, Mother, look at the top of him!
MRS. RANDOLPH : Sh ! Don't argue. Turn that chair around so
the back of it faces this way. Now, Clay, dear, sit over there,
and the girls will arrange your skirts for you. (DORA and MARY
Lou putt the full skirt around so that it fluffs out around the
legs of the chair.) That's good Now here, we'll drape my shawl
around his shoulders. There! Oh dear! If we only had a hat.
Something must be done about his head.
DORA : I'll try to run up to the house and get a bonnet.
MARY Lot:: There's not enough time. (Rising) He looks won-
derful from the back ... all but the head
SALLY : That's easily remedied. When a lady sits in the garden in
the sun, she should have a parasol to prevent freckles. (Opens
parasol and puts it into CLAYTON'S hand, so that his head and
part of his shoulders are concealed.) There, Mother, how's
that? I declare, he looks for all the world like Aunt Millicent.
MRS. RANDOLPH : That's a good name for him . . . and don't you
forget it.
DORA : Oh, my goodness, what shall we do with this tray of food ?
SALLY: Well have a tea party. There's no reason why Aunt
Millicent should not enjoy a bite to eat with us.
MRS. RANDOLPH : That's right Try to act as natural as possible.
I'll do most of the talking. (Sound of whistling.)
MARY Lou : That's Curt He's letting us know we should be on
our guard How do we look, Aunt Harriet? (The two girls,
DORA and MARY Lou, are seated on either side of the disguised
AUNT MILLICENT. SALLY leans over the arm of her brother's
chair.)
PINK PARASOL 371
MRS. RANDOLPH : Like a very informal garden party. Pass the
sandwiches, Sally, and make believe it is a real party.
CURTIS (As he enters with young NORTHERN SOLDIER) : I tell
you, sir, no strangers have showed up here in a blue moon. Aunt
Harriet, this is one of the river guards. He has had word that
one of our men was seen in the village and he had an idea he
might have headed this way.
MRS. RANDOLPH : Good afternoon, Sir. You are welcome to look
around. But we lead very quiet lives here now and company is
quite scarce as you can well imagine.
SOLDIER : Thank you, Ma'am. Fm sorry to trouble you. But we
have been given strict orders to let no one through our lines. I
must make a thorough search and then report to Major
Henderson.
MRS. RANDOLPH: You'll find him up at the house. My niece
happened to see him arriving when she brought the refreshments
down from the kitchen a few moments ago.
SOLDIER (Smiling) : Refreshments ! Ah, that sounds like a party.
MRS. RANDOLPH: A very simple one, Sir. My daughter's tenth
birthday.
SALLY: Perhaps the gentleman would enjoy a piece of birthday
cake, Mother.
MRS. RANDOLPH : I hope there is some left on that plate. These
youngsters are hearty eaters, and Cousin Millicent herself has
a sweet tooth.
SALLY: Try some of my birthday cake, Sir. It's made from a war-
time recipe, but I think you'll find it palatable.
SOLDIER: Thank you, child. I never can resist fresh cake and
there's something about a birthday cake that is doubly tempting.
(Helps himself to a piece of cake.) Are all these folks residents
of this place, Ma'am?
MRS. RANDOLPH: Oh, no, indeed. Just my daughter and I are
living here now. The others are my nieces, my young nephew
and Cousin Millicent. You'll have to excuse her, Sir, she has an
especial aversion to you gentlemen from the North and avoids
exchanging words with them whenever possible. Besides, she
is a trifle deaf. Poor Cousin Millicent, it is hard for her to ac-
cept changes at her age.
SOLDIER (Munching cake) : Well, I'm sure I have no intentions
of disturbing her or you either, Ma'am. Now, I shall have to
372 PINK PARASOL
pursue my search and make my report Thank you for your
kindness.
CURTIS : 111 be glad to show you the way to the house, Sir.
SOLDIER: No thanks, lad. I'll just follow the path and do a little
poking around. No doubt Major Henderson will order a search-
ing party when I make my report We can't be too carefuL
MRS. RANDOLPH : Then good day to you, Sir.
SOLDIER: Good day to you, Ma'am, and I hope your little girl and
her friends enjoy the birthday spread as much as I enjoyed that
cake. (The group remains frozen to the spot watching the
soldier as he exits. Then all relay with a sigh.)
CLAYTON : Is it safe for Cousin Millicent to turn around?
SALLY (Looking after the soldier) : Not yet ; he might change his
mind and come back. Just go on eating for a few minutes.
MARY Lou: Aunt Harriet, you should go on the stage. Why,
you're a real actress. I could never have thought of all that on
the spur of the moment
MRS. RANDOLPH : I really do believe we managed to pull the wool
over his eyes. Oh, my, now that he's gone, my knees feel as
weak as water. I think I'll have to sit down.
SALLY: Oh, Mother, you were wonderful.
CURTIS: Indeed, you were, Aunt Harriet The wind was knocked
clear out of my sails when I saw this festive little group on the
lawn, eating birthday cake as calm as you please. For a minute, I
couldn't imagine what you had done with Clayton. Ho.» about
it, old fellow? How does it fed to sit under a sun shade and
wear a skirt? I think it's safe for you to come out now and be
yourself for a few minutes.
CLAYTON : I fed as if I had a new lease on life, thanks to all of
you. For a few minutes there I believed the jig was up and it
would have been too, if it hadn't been for my quick thinking
mother with her talent for dressmaking.
SALLY : And my parasol. I think that is the thing that really saved
you, Clayton.
DORA: I think so, too. Without that, he could never have passed
for Aunt Millicent
MARY Lou (Laughing) : Who has a sweet tooth and is a trifle
deaf.
CURTIS : Good old Aunt Millicent. But enough of this, Clayton,
well have to get you out of here. Get out of those frills and
PINK PARASOL 373
furbelows and make a dash for the carriage shed. The wagon's
out there and we'll stow you away in the bottom so we can make
a quick getaway. The coast will be clear for a few minutes while
that bloodhound is up there making that report.
CLAYTON (Getting out of his makeshift costume) : You're devel-
oping into a strategist for sure.
MRS. RANDOLPH : I'll go out to the carriage shed with you and
see if I can make you comfortable with a blanket or a robe.
Mary Lou, put the rest of that food in a napkin and bring it
along. He'll probably need it.
CLAYTON: Indeed, I will. Well, goodbye, girls. Be good! And
don't be surprised if your Aunt Millicent pops in again one of
these days for a little chat over the teacups.
GIRLS: Goodbye, Clayton. Take care of yourself. Be sure to
write to us, etc., etc,
CLAYTON: Goodbye, Sis ... and take the best of care of this
parasol. I might need it again in a hurry.
SALLY : Oh, I will, I will. It's my dearest possession now that it
has saved your life. Goodbye, Clayton, and hurry home.
MRS. RANDOLPH: We'll have to hurry these farewells. Come,
dear, you and Curtis, run on ahead and I'll follow as fast as my
age and dignity permit. (Exit CURTIS, CLAYTON, with MRS.
RANDOLPH following.)
DORA.: Sally, this was the most exciting birthday party I ever
attended.
MARY Lou (Tying up the sandwiches and cake in a napkin) : With
the most unexpected guests and the most startling surprises.
SALLY (Opening her pink parasol and twirling it over her shoul-
der) : And with the most ravishing parasol in the state of
Georgia from the bravest brother in the world !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENES
SETTING: Front of drawn curtains.
AT RISE: SALLY and her MOTHER are sitting on bench in front of
curtains.
3/4 PINK PARASOL
MOTHER : So you see, Sally, your old-fashioned parasol has quite
a romantic history.
SALLY : I should say so, and one that I am very proud of. That
other Sally and I have other things in common besides a parasol
Her father was a soldier and so is mine.
MOTHER : And both of you have seen something of the griefs and
sorrows of war . . . enough to make you hate and fear it all your
lives long.
SALLY: I'm glad you told me that story, Mother, and I'm glad
you gave me the pink parasol. I always thought of Civil War
days as something in a history book. The battles and the people
never seemed real to me ; but now they do. There were people
on both sides . . . just like you and me ... a little girl and her
mother . . . waiting for our menfolks to come home again.
MOTHER: Now you have the idea, Sally, and you also have the
idea of Memorial Day. The day when the women of the North
and South honor our dear ones who fought and died for what
they believed was right. (Sound of band music in the distance.)
And now would you like to have the rest of your birthday
presents?
SALLY: Not till after we come home, Mother. I think I'd rather
celebrate the thirtieth of May, first as Memorial Day and second,
as my birthday. Come on, Mother, let's go to the cemetery and
listen to all the speeches. (Both rise.) And don't you think the
other Sally would be mighty happy if I carried her pink parasol ?
MOTHER: I'm sure she would be, Sally, very happy and very
proud of the namesake who honors her memory across the
years. (As the band music increases to a climax, MRS.
MARSHALL and SALLY make their exit.)
THE END
COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA
by Lindsey Barbee
Characters
COLUMBUS
GlANNINI
ISABELLA
SAILORS
INDIANS
Two COURTIERS
SCENE 1
SETTING: A dock.
AT RISE: Before an old sailor, sits COLUMBUS, a wide-eyed, se-
rious boyt hanging on each word of his companion, while the
SAILOR, inspired by the eager interest of the boy, grows more
excited in his narrative and emphasises his words with many
vigorous gestures.
SAILOR:
And so, you see, my boy, the world is flat,
So flat that merchant ships come suddenly
Upon the very edge ; and down they go
Into an ugly, dark, and boiling sea.
COLUMBUS :
Does anyone come back to tell the tale,
To prove that such a thing could ever be?
SAILOR : They tell their tales. Sometimes it is a bird,
A monstrous bird, that drags the little ship :
Sometimes it is a serpent; and again,
A fiery demon with huge, clutching hands
That close and open, close again, and crush
And hurl all things that lie across the path.
COLUMBUS :
But, Griaxmini, I cannot believe
375
376 COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA
Such fair}' stories, for I know full well
That in their very sailing, there is proof
The world is round, not flat.
SAILOR :
Come, come, my boy,
Such talk is foolish, and why should you think
The world is round?
COLUMBUS :
Look, Giannini, look — (He points.}
That vessel out at sea ! It is the prow
That disappears, and then the ship itself,
And finally the masts. Does that not prove?
The world is round?
SAILOR :
The world is flat, I say.
What puts this fancy in your head, Columbus?
COLUMBUS :
It is no fancy, and some day you'll watch
My ships departing.
SAILOR :
Oh, you dream too much.
COLUMBUS :
But one must dream if ever dreams come true.
For I have read the many wondrous tales
Of Marco Polo, of his Indian land,
Its camels, silks and spices — where one learns
The ways and manners of another world.
Some day, oh Giannini, I shall reach
Those shining cities and those golden ports —
The far-off, wonder land of India.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : Throne room of Queen Isabella.
AT RISE : QUEEN ISABELLA, in court robes, is seated on a throne.
COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA 377
On one side stands a courtier. Another courtier, entering, bows
before her.
IST COURTIER:
Columbus stands outside, Your Majesty,
And he would speak with you ; nay, he implores
An audience.
ISABELLA :
Who is this man, Columbus?
IST COURTIER:
He has been here before ; he begs that you
Will hear him for a moment. He will speak
Most briefly.
ISABELLA :
But I say, who is the man?
IST COURTIER:
Columbus, dreamer, yet a man of deeds.
Twice has he sought the presence of the Queen.
Once while the Moorish war was raging, then
Again when Spain was occupied elsewhere.
At present, he is on his way to France
Where interest in his venture is assured.
ISABELLA :
To France, you say?
IST COURTIER:
Should not Your Majesty
Bestow the honor of an interview.
ISABELLA :
Then bring him in and I shall hear what scheme
He has to offer. Should it prove to be
For Spain's enrichment, I shall see that France
Will profit not. So bring him in, forthwith.
(The COURTIER bows and withdraws)
2ND COURTIER:
He seeks to find a way to India
By sailing west
(!ST COURTIER enters followed by COLUMBUS.)
IST COURTIER:
Columbus waits, my Queen.
(COLUMBUS advances to throne and kneels.)
378 COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA
ISABELLA :
You have been most insistent in requests
For royai interviews. Will you explain
What special mission brings you to our court?
COLUMBUS
(Rising as she gives the sign) :
Your Majesty, I know within my soul
That India lies westward. I would find
A shorter, quicker route.
ISABELLA :
And why should you
Believe that such a route is possible?
COLUMBUS:
Because, Your Majesty, I know — I know;
And why I cannot tell save that my faith
In this, my dream, is steadfast like a star
Forever pointing through its golden path,
Fulfillment.
ISABELLA :
What has this to do with us?
With Spain? Why do you tell us of the dream?
COLUMBUS:
Because from you I seek my help, because
I must have ships and men and gold to sail
To India; and my success would mean
Spain's everlasting glory and renown,
Spain's fame and strength throughout the world, Spain's share
Of gorgeous blue and white and yellow silks,
Of priceless rubies, pearls and diamonds.
ISABELLA :
Your words paint pretty, pictures, yet we know
That dreams lack substance, and we cannot risk
Our ships, our men in venture.
COLUMBUS:
But I pledge
Success for Spain. Oh, grant me what I ask.
ISABELLA :
The country's coffers have been emptied since
Our wars have been such costly ones ; i fear
I cannot listen to your plea. (Pauses) And yet
COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA 379
I wish within my heart it were not so.
Like you, Columbus, I have faith and hope.
COLUMBUS:
I thank you for those words, Your Majesty,
For even if you cannot grant my wish,
I know that you believe — and wish me well.
(He bows, and turns to leave the room.)
ISABELLA :
But tarry ! I have thought of one sure way
To raise the money for your ships and men.
My jewels ! I shall sell them — and the sum
Obtained will be most adequate, I trust,
To start the undertaking. Later on,
Perhaps we may give more substantial aid.
COLUMBUS :
Your Majesty, I am bereft of words.
I only hope that you will understand
The boundless measure of my gratitude.
ISABELLA :
Like you, Columbus, I have faith and hope.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The rounding part of a vessel with its ropes and sails.
AT RISE: COLUMBUS stands against the rail, in his hands a map
unrolled. Close by is a sailor.
IST SAILOR:
For sixty dark and dreary days we've sailed
Along the treacherous sea. No sight of land —
No hope of land. The sailors mutiny.
They long for home, they dread each waking morn,
They fed that you have led them on a phantom quest.
380 COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA
COLUMBUS:
And yet, perchance, another day may bring
Some sign, some token that the land is near,
The end of all our wanderings — the end
Of all uncertainty, of all our fears.
IST SAILOR:
So often have they heard these words, they scorn
To hear them once again. They must have proof
That they are nearing land.
COLUMBUS :
And have you told
That to the first who sights the land will go
A gold and velvet coat?
IST SAILOR:
Btrt even so,
They quarrel, they are sullen, and, alas,
They lose their zest, their spirit and their strength.
COLUMBUS:
But still, my soul is dauntless, unafraid,
I have the faith to know that we shall win ;
I still have courage to sail on and on.
IST SAILOR
(Suddenly) : Look there! A bird! (Excitedly) A bird would
not be far
From land.
COLUMBUS :
Our prayers are granted. 'Tis a sign
That we are almost at our sailing's end. (2ND SAILOR appear*
in great excitement, holding a branch with berries.)
2ND SAILOR:
Behold what we have found ! 'Twas floating near
The ship — a branch with berries. This must mean
That there is land close by — perhaps our land.
COLUMBUS :
Our land, indeed ; and now we all unite
In effort to sail on and on and en !
CURTAIN
* * *
COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA 381
SCENE 4
SETTING : A landing place in the New World.
AT RISE: COLUMBUS, bearing the flag of Spain on a standard,
advances, while the SAILORS follow. At one side lurk one or two
INDIANS. The SAILORS are excited, and look from side to side,
admiring and wondering.
IST SAILOR:
There never has been sky so blue and clear,
Nor trees so green nor flowers so many-colored,
It is a golden land — a beauteous land.
2ND SAILOR:
Worth all fear and foreboding on the sea —
A land in which to rest, to live, to die. (COLUMBUS does not
seem to hear. His eyes gaze into distance; his voice is calm
and commanding.)
COLUMBUS :
I claim this country in the name of Spain!
THE END
THE MAGIC SPELL
by Esther Cooper
Characters ^ '
TEENA
HER MOTHEF
BETTY
JIMMY
MRS. LANE
JENNY
SETTING: A small, simply-furnished room.
AT RISE: TEENA, a little witch, is standing in the center of the
stage with her mother, a taller and older witch.
TEENA: Look, Mother! This is the playroom where Jimmy and
Betty have their good times !
MOTHER (Warningly) : Shh-h-h, Teena! Not so loud!
TEENA: I've always wanted to see how little boys and girls live!
I'm sure they have much more fun than witches like us. Oh,
thank you, Mother, for letting me come here !
MOTHER : But we must go now, Teena, we really must ! Tonight is
Halloween, and there is much to be done.
TEENA: Oh, please let me stay a little longer! They're going to
have a Halloween party. I heard them talking about it. All the
children will be wearing costumes and nobody will know I'm a
real witch !
MOTHER (Anxiously) : Oh, Teena, I don't think you should !
Witches aren't supposed to be seen.
TEENA : I won't let them see me. I promise. Please, Mother, just
this once!
MOTHER: Very well. But do be careful, dear. I'll come back for
you before the Witching Hour.
TEENA (Happily) : Oh, thank you! (MOTHER kisses TEENA and
goes out, TEENA looks at toys on the table. Suddenly, she hears
382
THE MAGIC SPELL 383
voices outside and runs to hide behind the armchair. Enter JIM-
MY and BETTY, children about ten. JIMMY is carrying a pump-
kin jack-o-lantern.)
JIMMY : I think this is a pretty fine jack-o-lantern, even if I did
make it, myself.
BETTY (Admiringly') : Yes, it has a wonderful face. And, oh,
Jimmy, the party will be more wonderful still! ( JIMMY places
jack-o-lantern on table and sits in chair at left, while BETTY
takes chair at right.)
JIMMY : Did you see all the decorations and prizes we're going to
have at the party?
BETTY : And the pretty table with the favors and candles and big,
grinning pumpkin-face ?
JIMMY: Just think, Betty! It will be our very first party!
BETTY: Orphans never have parties of their own, I guess. We
wouldn't have had this one if Mrs. Lane hadn't planned it for us
and bought our costumes.
JIMMY: She's awfully nice, isn't she? (Wistfully) I bet our own
mother was good and sweet, just like her.
BETTY: Remember the day she came to the Home and said she
wanted to take a brother and sister to her house for a visit?
JIMMY : And we were so scared she wouldn't choose us !
BETTY : I shook in my shoes, I was so afraid she wouldn't ! But she
did, Jimmy — and haven't we had fun?
JIMMY : Yes, but —
BETTY: But what?
JIMMY: Don't you wish we could stay here with Mrs. Lane
always?
BETTY: Yes, I do. Mrs. Lane has been so good to us that I fed as
if she sort of belonged to us.
JIMMY: So do I. She's like a real mother, isn't she?
BETTY : We'll be pretty lonesome without her when we go back to
the Home. Do you s'pose she'll come to see us often?
JIMMY: I hope so! (They are silent for a moment.)
BETTY (Suddenly) : Jimmy !
JIMMY: Yes?
BETTY: Do you think — do you s'pose she'd adopt us?
JIMMY : Oh, we couldn't ask her to do that !
BETTY: No, I guess we couldn't, but — (Warningly) Sh-h-h-h! I
think she's coming! (Enter MRS. LANE, a pretty young woman.
384 THE MAGIC SPELL
JIMMY rises as she enters and stands until she seats herself in
the chair at center.)
MRS. LANE : Jenny said you were in the playroom. Are you all
ready for the party?
JIMMY: Oh, yes, indeed! And I made another pumpkin-face!
(Points to it.)
MRS. LANE (Admiring it) : It's a very lovely one, Jimmy.
BETTY : We were just talking about the party. How pretty it's go-
ing to be and how —
JIMMY : How nice of you to plan it for us !
BETTY : You've been so good to us, Mrs. Lane.
JIMMY: And we never will forget you — never!
MRS. LANE: Thank you, my dears. It was lonely in this house
before you came. But now it is a happy place. And I am glad
to hear you say you are happy here, because — (Enter JENNY,
the maid. She is carrying a tray which holds a teacup, saucer,
napkin, spoon, and sugar-bowl.) I thought I'd have a cup of tea
before the party began. Put it here, Jenny. (Motions to table.
JENNY puts tray on table, pours tea, and drops sugar into cup.)
JENNY: Is that all, ma'am?
MRS. LANE : Yes, thank you, Jenny. (JENNY goes out. As MRS.
LANE begins to speak again, TEENA rises slowly from her hiding
place behind the armchair. They do not see her. She leans over
the table and passes her hands across the teacup, her lips mov-
ing.) This is your first party, and I want you to have a very
good time. There will be games and favors and stunts and prizes
for everyone. Ice cream too. (The children clap their hands in
delight.) When the guests arrive, you must meet them at the
door and tell them how glad you are to see them. You won't
know them, of course, because they'll be masked. But you can
make them fed welcome just the same. (TEENA hides again.)
JIMMY : Shall we go in and look for them now ?
BETTY: It must be almost time. (MRS. LANE picks up the teacup
and sips some of the tea. Then she replaces it on the saucer.)
MRS. LANE : Before you go, there's something I want to tell you.
You said you were happy here — and I am happy, too. So I'm
going to ask you to stay with me and be my very own children.
JIMMY (Astonished) : You mean you want to — adopt us?
BETTY: Really and truly?
MRS. LANE (Rising) : Yes, really and truly! (They run to her.)
THE MAGIC SPELL 385
JIMMY : Oh, Mrs. Lane, it would be grand !
BETTY: Oh, I could cry — I'm so happy! (They hug MRS. LANE
happily. Enter JENNY.)
JENNY: The children are coming, ma'am.
MRS. LANE: We'll come at once. (JENNY leaves.) Put on your
masks when we reach the living-room. (Laughs.) You're my
own boy and girl, now, and must do as I say. (They go out. In
a moment TEENA'S MOTHER steals in and looks about.)
MOTHER (Softly) : Teena? Teena, where are you?
TEENA (Rising merrily) : Here I am, Mother! I was hiding.
MOTHER : Come, dear, It's time for our Witching Flight. Did any-
one see you here?
TEENA : Oh, no, Mother ! But I had a wonderful time ! I saw two
little orphan children, and heard them wishing they could be
adopted by the lady who lives here — and, Mother, I made her
adopt them!
MOTHER: You did? How could you do that?
TEENA: I said a magic spell over her teacup, Mother — and it
worked ! It really worked ! I think I'm a very good little witch,
don't you, Mother?
MOTHER (Smiling, as she puts her arm about TEENA) : Yes, dear.
You're a very good little witch.
THE END
THE WITCH'S PUMPKIN
by Esther Cooper
Characters
BETSY, a little girl
ANNE, her friend
CINDY, the Witch
SETTING: A room in BETSY'S home.
AT RISE : BETSY is sitting in the cfiair behind the table, making a
jack-o-lantern from a small pumpkin. It is almost completed and
she works busily.
ANNE (Outside) : Betsy! Oh, Betsy!
BETSY (Looking up) : Here I am, Anne. Come on in! (Enter
ANNE. She is about BETSY'S age and is wearing a gay Halloween
costume.)
ANNE (Anxiously) : It's getting late, Betsy, and I think we'd bet-
ter hurry if we don't want to be — (Stops and stares at BETSY.)
Why aren't you ready! It's nearly eight!
BETSY: I — I'm not going, Anne.
ANNE: Not going? Why, what do you mean? It's going to be the
best Halloween party the school ever had! Everybody in our
class will be there, and the gym is all decorated and eveiything.
Why, we're going to have cider — and bob for apples — and
eat ice cream and — oh, Betsy, you must be joking! (She sits
down in one of the chairs nearby.)
BETSY: No, Anne, I'm not joking. I — I just can't go.
ANNE : But whyt
BETSY: I just can't go — that's all
ANNE : But you must have some reason. (She waits a moment, but
there is no answer t so she speaks again.) Betsy — is it because —
you have no costume?
BETSY : Yes, it is — if 'you must know ! (Pleadingly) But please
don't tell the others.
ANNE: You know I won't But they're sure to wonder why you
aren't there.
BETSY: Just tell them I couldn't come.
THE WITCH'S PUMPKIN 387
ANNE: Oh, Betsy, I'm so sorry you're going to miss the party.
It's sure to be such a nice one !
BETSY : I know — I'm sorry, too. I could — just cry — I want to
go so much. But Mother couldn't buy a costume for me this
year — or even the material to make one. You know we've not
had very much money, Anne, since Dad died.
ANNE: Why didn't you tell me? I'm sure my mother could have
found something for you to wear?
BETSY : Mother doesn't like me to ask favors. Never mind, Anne.
You go on to the party. You can tell me about it afterward.
ANNE : Oh, it's going to be so exciting. Jane Livingstone is com-
ing. I heard her say so. She's so new here I haven't had a chance
to get acquainted with her yet — but she seems awfully nice.
Most rich girls are a little snooty sometimes — but Jane isn't !
BETSY : No, she's sweet.
ANNE: She gave me one of her new books to read. I'd have
brought it along for you, if I'd known you weren't going. It's
just full of the best stories! There's one about making your
wishes come true on Halloween. Seeing that jack-o-lantern
made me think of it.
BETSY: What has a jack-o-lantern to do with wishes?
ANNE : The stories says that if you write a note on a jack-o-lan-
tern and tell your wish, and then put the lantern outside on
Halloween, some good witch will find it and make your wish
come true.
BETSY : Why, that would be fun ! I'd like to try it, myself — only,
of course, there aren't any witches, really — good or bad.
ANNE: There might be. How do we know? Just because we never
saw one —
BETSY: I know what wish I'd make!
ANNE: What, Betsy?
BETSY: I'd wish to go to the party! (Laughs) Just as Cinderella
wished to go to the balL
ANNE : Wish for a costume. Then you know you can go !
BETSY : Yes, wouldn't that be fun ?
ANNE: Go on, Betsy — do it! Write your wish on the jack-o-
lantern and put it out on the steps.
BETSY : Oh, Anne, that's silly 1 You know there aren't any witches !
ANNE: Do it, anyway! I sort of believe in magic, myself.
BETSY: Besides, unless the witch came right away, it would be too
late to go to the party.
388 THE WITCH'S PUMPKIN
ANNE : Here, let me do it. (Takes a pencil and begins to write on
the pumpkin) "To a Good Witch — Please bring me a Hal-
loween costume so I can go to the class party. This is my wish.
Betsy/'
BETSY : Oh, Anne, this is ridiculous! (Laughs)
ANNE : It's worth trying, anyway. (She goes to the door, taking
the pumpkin.) I'll put it on the steps. (Goes out.)
BETSY (Calling after her) : Anne, you'd better be going to that
party instead of writing notes to witches! You'll be late — and
there's no use in waiting for a witch to come in here !
ANNE (Coming back) : Well, we've tried, anyway. I think I'll
have plenty of time to get to the party — where's the clock?
BETSY: In the hall. Wait, I'll see what time it is. (Goes to the
other door.) It's a quarter to eight.
ANNE: Then I still have fifteen minutes. I'll wait a little while. It
must be lonely for you — staying here by yourself.
BETSY : It is — a little. But I'm sure the evenings are much harder
for Mother. She works until so late — and she's always so tired.
(There is a knock at the door.)
ANNE: What's that?
BETSY : Sounded like somebody at the door.
ANNE : Goodness, you don't suppose — !
BETSY (Laughing) : Oh, no! It's probably Mrs. Carter — one of
our neighbors. She's always running over to look after me when
Mother's gone. (CaUing) Come in, Mrs. Carter! (Enter CINDY,
the witch, carrying a broom and a package.)
CINDY (Laughing) : It isn't Mrs. Carter. It's Cindy — the witch I
BETSY: Witch! (She utters a startled cry and clings to ANNE.)
ANNE: You — you read the note on the pumpkin?
CINDY: Yes, I saw it as I came up the steps.
BETSY : Then you must be a good witck I mean — the note was
meant for a good witch.
CINDY : I try to be good. I brought you a costume so you could go
to the party. I hope it fits you.
BETSY: A costume?
ANNE: Oh, Betsy, try it on quick! Maybe you can go to the party
after all!
BETSY (Opening package) : Oh, thank you very much. (Holds up
the costume.) What a pretty one ! I'm sure it will fit me, too !
ANNE : Put it on quick !
THE WITCH'S PUMPKIN 389
CINDY : Yes, we mustn't be late.
BETSY: Are you — going with us?
CINDY : Of course. I love parties.
BETSY: But — but — suppose they find out you're a witch?
CINDY : I want them to think I'm a witch.
BETSY: But —
CINDY (Laughing) : Don't look so worried. I'm a very good witch.
And, anyway, it's all a joke.
ANNE: What's a joke?
CINDY : My pretending to be a witch — when I'm really not (She
takes off mask.)
ANNE: Jane!
BETSY: Jane Livingstone!
ANNE : And we thought you really were a witch !
BETSY (Confused) : I know there aren't any — but after the note,
and everything —
ANNE : And then you coming in with a costume —
JANE : Well, you see, it was like this — Betsy's mother is helping
my mother with a party tonight, at our house. So I talked to her
about the school party and found out why Betsy wasn't going.
I had a costume I'd hardly worn, so I asked if I might bring it
over here for you.
ANNE : Oh, that was sweet of you !
JANE : I didn't want Betsy to miss the party.
BETSY : Oh, thank you — thank you very much I I'm so glad I can
go, too !
JANE : Dad will take us to the school in our car. He's outside now,
waiting for us.
ANNE: Betsy, do get dressed!
BETSY: I will. It won't take me a moment — but I'm so excited, I
hardly know what I'm doing ! Because I'm sure I'll be the only
person there whose costume was brought to her by a Good
Witch! (They laugh as the curtain closes.)
THE END
GOBLIN PARADE
by Bettlah Folmsbee
Characters
JANITOR, one of the tallest boys in the class
BOY
GOBLINS
SCARECROW
CAT
BAT
WITCH on a Broom
HARRY
JACK
SETTING: A schoolroom.
AT RISE: THE JANITOR enters wearily, dragging his broom.
JANITOR: Bless my soul, but I'm tired! I've swept and dusted
every room in the schoolhouse — except this. My back is nearly
broken ! Well, this is the last room, and thank goodness nothing
is going on here. No play or anything like that, thank goodness.
Plays are a terrible lot of bother. Why, last year the eighth-
graders put on a play and I thought I'd never get the room clean
again. {Leans on broom and looks about.) But as I say, noth-
ing's going on here, thank goodness. I believe 111 sit down and
rest my old bones before I begin. (Sits in chair, broom between
his knees.) I believe I need forty winks. (Yawns.) Yes, that's
just what I need — forty winks. After that 111 sweep and dust
the room, put out the lights, lock the schoolhouse door and go
home to bed. (Longer and louder yawn.) My, but I'm glad all
the teachers and children have gone home. No one to pester me
about anything. No sir, not a soul. Ho-o-o-o-o hum-m-m-mm!
(Makes himself as comfortable as he can and falls asleep.)
BOY (Rising from his seat in front row of the audience) : Mr.
Janitor! Mr. Janitor! (JANITOR shifts uneasily and mutters in
390
GOBLIN PARADE 391
his sleep. BOY calls louder and comes nearer.) Mr, Janitor!
But you're mistaken ! We haven't gone home. We're all right
here, you see.
JANITOR (Nearly awake now): What's that? I could swear I
heard someone pestering me. Oh, well, probably I'm dreaming.
This chair isn't as comfortable as it might be. (Settles down
again.)
BOY (Coining to JANITOR and shaking him by shoulder) : No, no!
You're not dreaming! Wake up! Wake up and see for yourself!
JANITOR (Clutching broom, jumps up in alarm) : What's that?
Well, bless my soul, where did you come from? (Sees audience;
his mouth drops open in surprise.) And where did all of you
come from? (Scratches head in bewilderment.)
BOY: Why, don't you know? You must have forgotten! It's the
play, you know.
JANITOR (In disgust) : Play? Did you say playf
BOY: Yes, don't you remember? There's going to be a play here
today. We've been rehearsing it for ever so long.
JANITOR (Looking around the stage wonderingly) : What kind of
play?
BOY: A Halloween play of course. Everything's all ready. (Goes
to exit at left, and turns, waiting for JANITOR to follow.)
JANITOR (Still at centre, groans comicafty)\ Just my luck! A
Halloween play! They're the worst kind to clean up after.
(More cheerful.) But, bless my soul, there isn't a sign of any-
thing around here. No scenery, or anything like that (With
hand at his. mouth so BOY won't hear, he speaks in loud whisper
to audience.) Not much of a play, I'd say. Why, whoever heard
of a play without scenery and things? (Leaning on broom and
beginning to enjoy his conversation with the audience.) Let's
see now, there ought to be a cornfield, or something like that,
with the sun shining on it, maybe. Or a moon — why yes,
certainly, that's it! There ought to be a moon for a Halloween
play. And a scarecrow, maybe ; and black cats, and bats, and
owls, and a witch and things. Oh my, no, (In growing disdain)
this is going to be no kind of a play at all No kind of a play
at aH!
BOY (Still at exit where he has been trying to get the JANITOR'S
attention) : Pssst! Pssssssst! Mr. Janitor! Come off the stage.
392 GOBLIN PARADE
The play's going to begin. If you don't come off, you'll be
in it!
JANITOR (Shrugging his shoulders) : All right, all right, I'm com-
ing. But bless my soul and body, it can't be much of a play !
Mind you (Appealing to audience) not a stick of furniture even,
except this chair. . . .
BOY: Pssssst! Hurry, hurry, and please bring that chair with you.
JANITOR (Triumpliantly) : There! Just what I said! Now they're
not even going to have a chair for a body to sit on. (To audience
again) I'm sorry for you, I am. I could put on a better play
myself. (Music is heard off stage.)
BOY: There! It's beginning! Will you please come off?
JANITOR (Grabs chair and broom and goes out stumbling over
broom in his hurry, and muttering as he goes) : Never heard of
such a thing! No kind of a play at all, I say ; no kind of a play
at all ! (JANITOR goes off left, and BOY returns to his seat in
front row.)
BOY (As he sits down) : There! Now it can begin. (Music grows
louder, a sprightly goblin-like music, and THE GOBLINS enter,
hopping along in time with it. Two of them carry a step-ladder
which they place near the back wall at left; two more carry a
huge orange-colored sun which they hang on the wall, after
which the other GOBLINS remove the ladder from the stage.
From right and left other GOBLINS enter, carrying two corn
shocks which they set up at right and left a few feet from the
back wall. Two or three more GOBLINS enter prancing along
with a huge jack-o-lantern which they place near one of the
corn shocks being careful to keep the uncut side toward the
audience so that it wSl look like a pumpkin growing in the field.
Other GOBLINS lead in the SCARECROW who walks very stiffly
and has to be straightened out and steadied as he is placed in
center near the back. Alt during the setting of the stage, the
GOBLINS have moved in a sprightly manner, the music still ac-
companying their movements, and as each bit of stage setting is
accomplished they point to it with satisfacion and with a gesture
as if to say "How's that?" When all is in readiness, they join
hands in a grotesque kind of dance and start out, half to the
right, half to the left. When they are nearly out, the music
breaks in a comical way as SCARECROW starts to slump and fall
over. The last goblin on each side rushes back; with some
GOBLIN PARADE 393
difficulty they prop the SCARECROW up again. GOBLINS go out.
This action can be curtailed or expanded with many comic ef-
fects depending upon the skill of the young players.)
HARRY (Shouting off stage and running on) : Here it is ! This is
the place. Farmer Brown's field I saw a fine one growing here.
JACK (Entering directly after HARRY) : This is Farmer Brown's
field all right That's his funny old hat on the scarecrow; and
I guess that red thing round its neck must be Mrs. Brown's
petticoat!
HARRY: Don't be bothering about any old scarecrows. You've
got to find a good pumpkin for your jack-o-lantern if you want
to be in the parade tonight. (Sees pumpkin.) Hi! Look there!
JACK: Where?
HARRY: There! (Pointing to pumpkin and running to it as if to
pull it from the vines) I told you I'd seen a jim-dandy. Why,
that's the biggest one I've seen anywhere.
JACK (Rushing to stop him) : Harry! Wait a minute, don't pick
it! I've just remembered something.
HARRY (On his knees with hands on pumpkin) : What? What
is it?
JACK: It's a jim-dandy all right, but ...
HARRY: But what? Here I go and find you a pumpkin — better
than any of the rest of us have — and now you look as if you
didn't even want it!
JACK: Oh, I want it all right enough. It would make the best
lantern in the whole parade. . . .
HARRY : You mean it will if you get busy and make it into one.
You won't have any lantern at all if you don't get started pretty
soon!
JACK ( Uncomfortably, looking in all directions) : Yes . . . but . . .
do you think . . . It's such a nice one . . .
HARRY (Exploding) : Well, isn't that what you want?
JACK : Yes, but Harry . . . you know the County Fair they're going
to have next week?
HARRY: Of course, I know. My dad's going to be one of the
judges, and I'm going to help put ribbons on the winners.
JACK: That's just it! I heard my dad say that Farmer Brown is
going to try for first prize for pumpkins this year; he almost
won it last year, but there was one just a little better than his ...
394 GOBLIN PARADE
HARRY (Whistling) : Phe-e-e-e-w ! You mean you think this is for
the Fair?
JACK: Yes. That's what I'm afraid of. If only we could find
Fanner Brown ; or if there was another pumpkin around some-
where. I know he would let us have it if we asked him. You
see I couldn't take this one without asking because . . . well,
my dad said the reason Farmer Brown didn't get that first prize
kst year is because some of his best pumpkins were taken by
boys. So, you see ...
HARRY: Sure ; I don't want to take any prize pumpkins for jack-
o-lanterns; but, shucks, Jack, what did you have to wait till
today for, anyway? You should have started days ago to look
for your pumpkin. My lantern's been ready for almost a week.
JACK: I know it. (Miserably) And I wouldn't miss the parade
for anything. They're going to have all kinds of things this
year, I've heard.
HARRY: Yes, and then we're all going down to the edge of the
pond and have a big fire, and a corn roast, and tell ghost stories
and everything! Boy, I can hardly waitl Well, I'd help you
look some more, but I've got to go up in our attic for some old
clothes, and my false face and things. What are you going
to do?
JACK: I ... I think I'll just wait a while and see if I can find
Fanner Brown. I know he comes this way with his cows, and
it must be nearly four o'clock now.
HARRY : Four o'clock ! Say, I've got to hurry. I'm going to get
my things ready so I can get dressed right after supper.
Whooopeef Wait till you see how I'm going to look! This is
going to be the best parade we've ever had Don't forget we're
all going to meet at the comer. So long! It gets dark early,
too ! Whe-e-e-e-e ! (He goes jumping and running off left. JACK
walks slowly over and watches HARRY; cotnes back, looking
around for some other pumpkin, shakes his head, and kneels by
the pumpkin, running his hands over its smooth sides.)
JACK: Boy, what a beauty! Wouldn't I like to make my lantern
out of you! (Takes knife from pocket, opens it and feels edge.)
I'd just stick this in, cut all around the top ... (Takes hold of
stem and goes through motions of cutting, but is careful not to
really come anywhere near the pumpkin with his knife.) Then
I'd scoop out the inside and cut the eyes and nose and ... oh,
GOBLIN PARADE 395
well, what's the use of talking. I'll sit back here for a little while
and wait for Farmer Brown to come by with his cows. (Sits
almost hidden by corn shock at left with his back to the audience
and facing the SCARECROW.) Shucks! Why couldn't you be
some help and tell me whether Farmer Brown has gone by?
But then, of course, you're really not good for anything except
to scare the crows away. (Drowsily) Hmmmmmm! It would
be funny if you could see and talk. I bet you'd see a lot of
things in a field like this. In the daytime all the bugs, and grass-
hoppers and things (Growing more drowsy) and at night, when
everything is quiet, and dark . . . just a moon maybe, or some
stars ; and little animals, maybe, coming out of their holes, and
. . . and . . . (His head goes down upon his knees. He is asleep.
SCARECROW comes to life, stretches stiffly, goes to BOY and
makes sure he is asleep. Beckons off stage each side. Goblin
music, a little more sombre than before, is heard. Again GOB-
LINS enter, take down the sun, bring in a huge yellow moon and
hang it up on the opposite side of the back wall. The SCARE-
CROW, removing ladder as before, directs them to the sleeping
boy, cautioning them to be quiet.)
SCARECROW (Mwing away from boy and motioning GOBLINS to
follow; music stops) : Know what that is? (GOBLINS shake
heads.) It's a boy! You know, one of the earth people. (GOB-
LINS draw back in fright.) Oh, he won't hurt you ! He's really
pretty good— for a boy ! He wanted like everything to take that
pumpkin over there for some kind of a — what-do-you-call-it
— that they carry in parades. It seems that people dress them-
selves up in all sorts of queer things, though between you and
me, they're a queer looking lot just as they are ! They go parad-
ing up and down the street making queer noises, tapping on
windows — all sorts of things. He wanted this pumpkin to carry
in the parade, but he wouldn't take it without asking Farmer
Brown. I could have told him it would be all right because
Farmer Brown went by with the cows just before those boys
came here. I heard him say he didn't care if boys took pump-
kins now because the best ones were" all packed and ready for
the Fair. ( GOBLINS whisper together, then one of them goes to
SCARECROW and whispers in his ear.) Did you say parade? A
Goblin parade? (GOBLINS nod delightedly.) That's a good idea.
I wonder I didn't think of it myself ! Yes sir, that's just what
396 GOBLIN PARADE
we'll do. Go find old Owl and tell him to call everybody to-
gether. (GosLixs run out, SCARECROW jerks back to his place,
stifling his laughter.} Haw Haw Haw! You'll see a parade
after all; and afterwards, you'll think you've been dreaming!
OWL (Whose voice always sounds from off stage) : Whoooooo —
Wooooooo — Whoooo !
CAT (Entering importantly) : Who indeed?
I'm the cat
The big black cat!
Miaoww, Miaoww, Miaow-w-w-w!
(Prowling about in circle as he repeats.)
BAT (Entering with a rush from the other side) :
And I'm the Bat
As black as your hat,
Whir-r-r, Whir-r-r, Whir-r-r!
(Sweeping about in circles)
OWL: Whoooo — Who-o-o-o — Who-o-o-o-o.
SCARECROW: Who, me?
Why, I'm the scarecrow made of straw
Nothing poetic,
In fact quite pathetic
(Offstage a crow cries '"Caw Caw Caw")
Funny, I never thought of that!
Haw, haw, haw-w-w-w!
(Jerking with laughter, SCARECROW begins to fall over.) Oh,
help, help! Straighten me up somebody! I'm not used to laugh-
ing so hard ( GOBLINS enter and prop SCARECROW up again.)
Thank you, thank you kindly. And see here, why wouldn't it be
a good idea to take that pumpkin and make one of those what-
do-you-call it — you know; what they carry in parades. (He
goes through motions of cutting out top, and making jack-o-
lantern, and pretends he is holding it up as he makes a terrible
face. GOBLINS nod with delight and tiptoe over to pumpkin,
carry it off to corner, and sit around it at work.) What a sur-
prise that'll be when he wakes up! Haw! haw! haw! Ouch,
there I go again. Help me somebody! (CAT and BAT help the
SCARECROW to straighten up again.)
OWL: Who-o-o-o Who-o-o-o Who-o-o-o-o 1
WITCH (Entering astride her broom and galloping to centre) :
I'm the funny old witch
GOBLIN PARADE 397
That rides on a broom,
And I'll ride and I'll ride
Till the day of my doom!
( WITCH rides madly in a circle in center, CAT prowls in a circle
at right. BAT sweeps in a circle at left, all making cliaracteristic
cries, while SCARECROW keeps time. All engage in a grotesque
kind of dance in which the GOBLINS join, two of them carrying
the completed jack-o-lantern, and leading the others around the
stage in a parade.)
OWL: Who-o-o-o-o-o-o ! (In a warning voice this time) Who-
o-o-o-o-o!
SCARECROW (Peering into distance) : Boys coming this way! Girls
too! Quick, everybody, hide! Parade's over! (All except the
GOBLINS run off; they bring Jack-o-fantem to SCARECROW offer-
ing it to him) No, no, put it over there, right where it was ! And
hurry! ( GOBLINS place pumpkin in its original position, but
with the cut-out face toward the audience, and steal off, looking
back over their shoulders at it in admiration. As they go, JACK
starts to waken as SCARECROW is jerking himself back into hi&
original position. As JACK jumps up in amazement, he sees the
last jerk of the SCARECROW'S arms as he becomes once more just
a straw man.)
JACK (Rubbing his eyes and looking about) : I've been asleep!
Of course, I must have been asleep and it was all a dream, but
. . . but ... I was sure I saw him move his arm just then. (Sees
jack-o-lanterny And if it was a dream, where did this come
from? (He runs to lantern and takes it up) Wow! What a
beauty! (Voices of boys and girls off stage calling for JACK.)
HARRY (Offstage)'. Jack! Jack! Where are you? The parade's
all over and we're going to the cornroast. Jack!
JACK: Fm here! I'm coming too! Harry, wait for me. I'm com-
ing, (He starts to go and then turns toward SCARECROW.) and
I've got a lantern, too, thanks to you. A jim-dandy of a lantern
and that was the best parade I ever saw ! A witch, and every-
thing! Thanks! (Running off) Harry, look! Look at my lan-
tern! (When all is- quiet, GOBLINS enter and remove all traces
of the play — the moon, corn stacks, and scarecrow. If any
lights have been used for sun or moon effects, these are now
turned off and the stage is as it was in the beginning. Music
which has been playing as the GOBLINS clear the stage stops and
398 GOBLIN PARADE
boy in the -front row begins to applaud. As other children join
in the applause, the JANITOR pokes his head cautiously in, and
seeing the stage empty cnntes on looking about.)
JANITOR: It it all over? Ho, hummmmmm ! I've been down in
the basement having a snooze. Bless my soul, I don't believe
a thing has happened here. Everything looks just as it did
when that boy shooed me off. (Sees audience.) What! Are
you still here? Well, I told you you couldn't have a play with-
out — oh, you know, scenery — a cornfield, a moon and witches
and things ! Well, as there's to be no play, I'll get at my work I
Ho hummml Good-bye children. (He starts to sweep the floor
making the dust fly as the curtain falls.)
THE END
THE MAGIC J ACK-O-L ANTERN
by Helen Littler Howard
Characters
GOBLINS :
. TRAPPY, who is always playing tricks on others
FLAPPY, who has enormous ears
NAPPY, who never is fully awake
{And as many more as you care to have)
ELVES:
MICKY
NICKY, and others if you want them.
A WITCH
SETTING: Any spot where elves and goblins might meet on
Halloween.
TIME : Just before the Halloween Jamboree.
AT RISE: FLAPPY comes* on the stage carrying a large jack-o*
lantern.
FLAPPY: Halloween at last! I do wish I could think of a way to
get that beautiful scarlet leaf from Trappy. He is always play-
ing tricks on others so I wouldn't feel mean if I could trick him
once. If I had that leaf to wear in my cap at the Halloween
Jamboree no one would notice my ears. Here comes my friend
the Witch. Maybe she could tell me a thing or two. (OLD
WITCH comes hobbling in on a broomstick.)
FLAPPY: Hi, Witch. You are just in time to help me.
WITCH : Greetings, Flappy. A fine Halloween night to be sure.
What can I do for you? A magic potion perhaps?
FLAPPY: Perhaps. Trappy has a magnificent scarlet leaf which I
hanker to wear to the Jamboree tonight so that no one would
notice my ears. He won't lend it, sell it, or trade it. He sets so
399
400 THE MAGIC JACK-O-LANTERN
many traps for others that I wouldn't feel mean about trick-
ing him out of it
WITCH : Let me see ! How about a magic jack-o-lantern ?
FLAPPY: But I haven't a magic jack-o-lantern,
WITCH: You have a jack-o-Iantern and I can tell you how to
make it magic.
FLAPPY: Can you? Oh, please do.
WITCH : Come dose so I can whisper the secret to you. ... I
wouldn't want anyone else to hear. {FLAPPY comes close to the
WITCH and she whispers something in his ear.)
FLAPPY : The very thing! I do thank you with all my heart.
WITCH : Good luck. (Goes off stage.)
FLAPPY : I'll wear the leaf to the Jamboree, and then no one will
notice my ears! (Enter TRAPPY, NAPPY and other Goblins.)
FLAPPY: Hi. fellows. All ready for the Jamboree? I see you are
wearing your scarlet leaf, Trappy. I wish I had one to stick in
my cap so that no one would notice my ears.
TRAPPY : I won't give it to you, sell it to you, nor trade it.
NAPPY (Yawning) : Who said something about a raid?
TRAPPY : No, no, Nappy. Wake up. I said I wouldn't trade my
leaf for anything Flappy has.
FLAPPY: That's too bad you won't consider a trade. I thought
you might like my magic jack-o-lantern.
TRAPPY: Magic jack-o-lantern! What's magic about it? It looks
like any other jack-o-lantern to me.
NAPPY : Looks like any other jack-o-Iantern to me ! Looks just
like mine. (Others laugh.)
FLAPPY: It is a magic jack-o-lantern though.
TRAPPY: What can it do?
FLAPPY: I'll show you. Trappy, 111 take off the lid and blow out
the light, and you put your leaf inside. (Does so.) Now I'll
wager that I can get the leaf and I won't touch the jadc-o-lantern.
TRAPPY: Agreed! If you can get the leaf without touching the
lantern 111 give it to you. (GOBLINS gather around.)
FLAPPY (Walks slowly around the jack-o-lantem three times) :
Adaca Cadabra . . . Adaca Cadabra, etc. Now take off the lid,
Trappy. (TRAPPY does so.) And I take the leaf. (Does so with-
out touching the lantern.)
TRAPPY: Here, give me my leaf.
NAPPY: The leaf!
THE MAGIC JACK-OLANTERN 401
FLAPPY : It's mine. I said I'd wager that I could get the leaf with-
out touching the lantern and I did. (GOBLINS laugh.)
NAPPY: I guess that's right You won it all right. (GOBLINS go
off stage leaving TRAPPY and NAPPY.)
TRAPPY: Well, I lost my leaf, but it was a good trick. I wish !
had a lantern so I could play it on some of the elves when they
come. Let me use yours, Nappy.
NAPPY: I want to lay the brick ... I mean play the joke. It's my
lantern, but I'll give you whatever I get Here come the elves,
and look, one of them has a scarlet robin's feather in his cap.
Ill get it for you.
TRAPPY: Do you think you know how, Nappy? Were you awake
all of the time so you know how it goes?
NAPPY: Of course I was ... I can remember it exactly ... I think.
(ELVES enter. MICKY is wearing a cap with a red feather in it.)
MICKY : Hi, Goblins ! Can you tell us where the Jamboree is to be ?
TRAPPY: Over there in the forest under the biggest oak tree.
NAPPY : That's a fine feather you have in your cap, Micky. How
would you like to borrow it ... I mean lend it to Trappy.
MICKY : I really wouldn't part with it. It's a special feather.
NICKY : The Queen gave it to him. She put it in his cap with her
own hands.
NAPPY : Maybe you would like to trade it for my magic jack-o-
lantern . . ,
MICKY: Magic jack-o-lantern! It looks like any other pumpkin
face to me. What's magic about it?
NAPPY: Here, you show me ... I mean 111 show you.
TRAPPY (Aside) : Are you sure you can do it, Nappy?
NAPPY : Now you meave it to le ... I mean me. Now 111 take off
the lid and you put the feather inside. (They do so.) Now, I'll
bet that you can't get the feather unless I touch the lantern.
MICKY : That I can't get the feather unless you touch the lantern !
I'll wager my feather against your lantern that I can.
NAPPY (Greatly excited) : I'll go around the lantern like this . . .
(Goes around three times saying "Adaca Cadabra" . . .) Now
take off the lid, Mickey. (MiCKY does so and also takes the
feather.)
MICKY : There I took the feather and you didn't touch the lantern
. . . (Takes lantern) so the lantern and feather are both mine.
402 THE MAGIC JACK-O-LANTERN
You must be touched by the moonlight, Nappy. (ELVES go off
laughing.)
TRAPPY (Rolling about in delight) : That was worth losing my
leaf!
NAPPY: Now, what did I say wrong! I can't touch the feather
unless you — no, no ... You can't touch the lantern until I ...
Oh, how does it go !
TRAPPY: Never mind, Nappy. I guess the tables were turned on
us that time . . .
NAPPY: And I lost my beautiful lack-o- jantern !
TRAPPY : Maybe you'll learn to keep awake after this. Hi ho for
the Halloween Jamboree! (They go off laughing.)
THE END
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
by Lee Kingman
Characters
WANDA
GILDA
THE MINSTREL
MRS. FITCH
TONY
MOTHER
TOMMY
WILLIE
LONNY
MARY
MILLIE
FIRST GUARD
SECOND GUARD
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
THE KING
JACKO
SETTING : A bench by the wayside on a bright fall morning.
AT RISE: WANDA and GILDA are sitting on the bench when the
MINSTREL comes in left, weeping into a tremendous white
handkerchief.
MINSTREL: Hello.
WANDA and GILDA : Hello.
MINSTREL (Sniffing*) : Is it a nice day?
GILDA : Certainly. Can't you see that it is ?
MINSTREL: I haven't looked.
WANDA: What's the matter? Have you a piece of something in
your eye?
MINSTREL (Crossly) : Of course I haven't. Just use your head
and you'd know why I'm crying.
GILDA : I don't see why.
403
404 THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
MINSTREL: Well, what day is it today?
WANDA: It's the end of October.
MINSTREL : There . . . you see. It's Halloween.
GILDA: What's Halloween?
MINSTREL: My dear child! What's Halloween! But I suppose
you may call it All Saints' Eve. It's one and the same. Good
to some and evil to others. (Sighing) It was evil to mel
WANDA: Why, what happened?
MINSTREL: It's so sad that I wrote a song about it ... only I'm
a monotone, so I'll have to recite it instead Sit down, now,
and I'll say it to you . . . with gestures. (They settle on the
bench, and he bows to them, takes a deep breath and begins.)
MINSTREL :
I am a homeless wanderer.
This is my tale of woe.
I have no home, I have no friends,
I have no place to go.
I used to live in splendor,
In a large and gilded nook,
In the palace of our royal king . . .
I was the pastry cook.
Boo-hoo, I was the cook.
The king was kind and gentle,
And he had a little boy . . .
His only son, named Jacko.
Who was his pride and joy.
Now Jacko, though he was a prince,
Was quite a little brat
And he had a nasty habit
Of blowing up like that. (MINSTREL puffs up his cheeks.)
Boo-hoo. He used to blow 'em up like that.
It happened several years ago,
Upon an AH Saints* Eve,
That Jacko puffed his cheeks up
And his nurse got in a peeve.
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN 405
The nurse was old and fussy.
She didn't wait to yell
But placed on little Jacko
An old and magic spell.
Boo-hoo. A wicked, magic spell.
GILDA: Don't stop!
WANDA : Do go on.
GILDA: We want to know what happened!
MINSTREL: Well . . .
Jacko gave one feeble scream
And vanished in thin air. . . .
He became in just one second
The boy who wasn't there.
WANDA: Oh!
GILDA: You can't stop there!
MINSTREL: Oh yes, I can. You try and make up a song some-
time. It's hard work.
WANDA: But what happened . . . who did it?
MINSTREL : It was the nurse. She turned him into a pumpkin seed
. . . and lost the seed. She was very careless.
GILDA: It is sad
WANDA: But what happened to you . . . what makes you so sad?
MINSTREL: Because the king had been very fond of just one
thing ... he ate it for breakfast and dinner and supper . . .
pumpkin pie. And I was the only one who could make it the
way he liked it. But, of course, after that, he couldn't bear to
eat pumpkin pie ... so he fired me. And that's the reason I'm
out of work . . . pumpkin pie is the only thing I can cook.
WANDA : I'm very sorry.
MINSTREL: Thank you. So now you see, every Halloween I go
out looking for pumpkins . . . just in case Jacko should have
grown up to be one. There's a ghost of a chance I might find
him.
GILDA: Was he a very bad boy?
MINSTREL: No. Do you have a brother?
WANDA: Yes. Tony.
MINSTREL: Does he like to tease? And play noisy games?
WANDA: Yes.
406 THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
MINSTREL: Then Jacko was like Tony. Not bad. Just a boy.
(He gets up.) Well, I'm on my way. Just remember. It's
Halloween.
WANDA: I hope you find him. (MINSTREL goes out right.)
GILDA : So that's why the king never comes out of the castle any
more.
WANDA : And that's why no one is allowed to make pumpkin pies.
GILDA : And the penalty for eating a pumpkin is death.
WANDA : Poor little boy ! I wonder what it would be like to be
turned into a pumpkin seed.
MRS. FITCH (Entering, left) : Good morning, dearies. Could an
old lady rest her bones a minute on your bench?
GILDA: There's not very much room for three.
WANDA: I guess you can take my place. (She gets up.)
MRS. FITCH (Sitting down slowly) : Thank you, dear. This is 2
very exciting day and I don't want to be too tired to enjoy it
TONY (Strolling in from right) : Heighol
GILDA : What's exciting about today ?
WANDA: Just because it's Halloween?
TONY : Nothing's happened yet
MRS. FITCH : Does anything ever happen in broad daylight? Nc
no. A picket-fence and a gatepost arc a picket-fence and a gate
post in broad daylight. But at night . . . you can't quite te
what they are, can you?
TONY : No, you can't
GILDA: They do look different
MRS. FITCH : There you are. A perfectly ordinary day can tui
into a most extraordinary night You just wait and see.
WANDA (Thoughtfully) : But you have to see for yourself, dor
you?
MRS. FITCH: Yes. (Getting up) Thank you for the rest, love
I'm off to find me a black cat and a cup of tea. (To WANDJ
Here's a present for you. (She pulls out a handful of brov
stones.) You can choose one . . . any one.
WANDA: What are they?
MRS. FITCH: Take one and take care of it and you shall s<
(WANDA chooses one and the children look at it as MRS. FIT<
hobbles out right.)
GILDA: It's nothing but an old brown stone.
TONY: Old Mrs. Fitch
Is a witch!
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN 407
WANDA: Is she!
GILDA : Of course she is. I wouldn't keep anything she gave me.
WANDA : But she had so many of them.
MOTHER (Coming in from right) : Aren't you children hungry?
I've been waiting lunch for you.
TONY: We're coming.
GILDA : We've been talking to people. Do you know why the king
never comes out of the castle any more? (TONY, GILDA and
MOTHER exit, right.)
WANDA (Speaking to the stone) : I wonder what you are. You
aren't very clean and you look very old. (She drops it onto the
ground.) There. (She puts her foot over it.) I'll bury you
anyway. You aren't exactly what I'd call a present. What a
funny day this is !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same roadway. The same bench. But it is dusk,
and where WANDA buried the stone id a tremendous pumpkin.
AT RISE: A group of children hurry in from left.
TOMMY: Here it is!
WILLIE: Look at it!
LONNY: It's so huge!
MARY: It glows . . . like a star!
MILLIE: We could see it from way across the meadow!
WILLIE: What is it!
TOMMY: It's a pumpkin.
LONNY : But no one is allowed to grow pumpkins.
MARY : I thought it must at least be the moon sitting down ! (The
children walk around the pumpkin, looking at it. TONY and
WANDA and GILDA and MOTHER enter, from right.)
408 THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
TONY: What's all the excitement?
GILDA : Maybe someone's seen a ghost
WANDA : Look . . . look at the pumpkin !
GILDA: Isn't it huge!
TONY (Stretching up one arm) : Why, it's taller than I am!
MOTHER: I wonder how it got there.
WANDA: It's right where I buried the stone!
MOTHER: What stone?
WANDA: An old woman came by this morning and sat on our
bench. And when she left, she pulled a handful of old brown
stones out of her pocket. - . .
TONY : And she gave one to Wanda.
GILDA: And we told her to throw it away. (Two gentlemen of
the King's Guard come in -from left.)
WANDA : But I didn't throw it away. ... I buried it.
MOTHER: But that wasn't a stone, child. That was a seed.
FIRST GUARD: What ho! It is a pumpkin.
SECOND GUARD: Planting a pumpkin is high treason and not to
be tolerated. Rule 46. (The children shrink away, and WANDA
puts her arms around MOTHER and hides her face.)
FIRST GUARD: Who is responsible for this deed? (THE MINSTREL
enters from right, still dabbing his eyes with the handkerchief.)
SECOND GUARD: Come, come. Speak up. (No one speaks.)
FIRST GUARD (To WANDA) : Didn't I hear you say you buried
something? (WANDA nods miserably.)
GILDA: It was just an old stone. (MRS. FITCH enters from the
left and stands in the background.)
FIRST GUARD (To his fellow officer) : Call the captain of the
guard. We ought to make an arrest.
MOTHER: But the child didn't know it was a pumpkin seed.
SECOND GUARD: Oh, so you admit it was a pumpkin seed. (He
blows* his whistle, THE MINSTREL enters a bit further and then
steps way forward.)
MINSTREL (To WANDA) : Now, now, my dear.
WANDA (Looking up and seeing MRS. FITCH) : There she is!
She's the one who gave it to me!
MINSTREL: Where?
WANDA: Over there!
MINSTREL: That's the nurse! That's Jacko's old nurse! (MRS.
FITCH turns and hobbles quickly out left.) Arrest that woman!
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN 409
(FIRST GUARD rushes out left, blowing his whistle. SECOND
GUARD rushes out right, blowing his whistle.)
MOTHER: Whatever shall we do ! My poor Wanda.
MINSTREL: Does anyone have a pocket-knife?
TOMMY: I have one!
MINSTREL: Thank you.
WANDA: You aren't going to cut up the pumpkin?
MINSTREL: Most certainly. It just might be the right one.
WANDA: But she had a whole handful of seeds! There were so
many of them!
MINSTREL (Shrugging his shoulders) : Well, if we don't try it,
where are we? (He thrusts the knife into the pumpkin. Enter
the King from right, very -fat and puffing. Behind hint is the
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD and the SECOND GUARD.)
CAPTAIN: Stop!
KING: Stop!
CAPTAIN: Don't you know that cutting a pumpkin is a crime
punishable by death.
MINSTREL (Putting out the knife) : Yes. (He bows to the KING.)
Your Majesty, I don't know if you remember me or not I used
to be chief cook in your kitchen.
CAPTAIN: Your Majesty, this man is obviously insane!
KING: Wait a minute . . . wait a minute ! Go ahead. . . .
MINSTREL : If I have Your Majesty's permission, I would like to
cut open this pumpkin.
KING: And why do you wish to cut open this pumpkin?
MINSTREL : I want to see if there's anything in it. I have a feeling
that His Royal Highness, Prince Jacko, might be inside.
KING: Well!
CAPTAIN: Your Majesty, if you'll just let me take him away.
KING: No. You may open the pumpkin. But remember, if my
son is not inside, you will be put to death tomorrow morning.
MINSTREL (Shudders) : Well, fate is fate, I suppose. (He goes
up to the pumpkin and cuts two large holes for eyes, another for
a nose and a large one for a mouth. For a moment, nothing
happens* Then as he steps back, JACKO crawls out of the mouth.)
KING: Jacko! (Everyone cheers.)
JACKO (Blinking) : Hello.
KING: Well, well, well. Let me look at you!
JACKO (Shaking himself) : I'm certainly glad to be out of there.
410 THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
KING : Thanks to my cook, my boy. ( FIRST GUARD comes in from
left, and seeing the CAPTAIN, salutes.)
FIRST GUARD: We have captured the nurse. What shall we do
with her, sir?
CAPTAIN: What do you wish, Your Majesty?
KING: Put her in a dungeon and have someone make faces at
her for a few days.
JACKO: Lake this. (He blows up his cheeks.)
KING (Severely) : That will do, Jacko. Remember what hap-
pened the last time you did that.
WANDA : Look at the pumpkin ! ( The pumpkin has lit up and the -
face cut by the MINSTREL glows out.)
MINSTREL: I knew it was a magic pumpkin!
KING (To MINSTREL) : Cook, will you come back and be chef in
my kitchen?
MINSTREL (Kneeling) : Your Majesty, nothing would please me
more.
KING (Touching him on the shoulder) : I make you Lord Sir
Bottle-Washer Cook, Thirty-Fifth Lord of the Realm.
MINSTREL : Your Majesty, I am deeply touched. (Still kneeling)
But may I ask one favor?
KING: Gladly, my lord.
MINSTREL: After all, I was only the one who opened the pump-
kin. I feel that the little lady who planted the seed should also
have some reward. (He beckons to WANDA, who comes for-
ward.) Your Majesty, may I present Wanda? (WANDA curt-
sies-.)
KING: How do you do, Wanda. I suppose the traditional reward
is haH of the Kingdom and the hand of the fair princess. How-
ever, I don't think you'd know what to do with half of my
kingdom, would you?
WANDA: No, your Majesty.
KING: And as you are a girl, I couldn't very well give you the
hand of the fair princess even if I had a daughter. All I have
is Jacko, and I don't know as you'd want him.
WANDA (As JACKO makes a face at her) : I . . . don't think so.
KING: Then suppose we solve it by making you the fair princess.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Princess Wanda.
TOMMY: Three cheers for Princess Wanda! (They cheer.)
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN 411
KING (To WANDA) : You can live at home or in the castle or do
anything you please. The castle isn't steam-heated.
WANDA (Curtseying) : You are very kind, Your Majesty.
KING: And one more thing. From now on, every year on this
day, the people of my kingdom shall celebrate Halloween, the
day when my son was returned to me. (To WANDA) What
would be a good way to celebrate?
WANDA (Thinking a moment) : I think every one ought to cut
out a face on a pumpkin and put a candle in it, and call it a
Jack-0-lantern.
THE END
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
by Alice D'Arcy
Characters -
BILLY, 12-year-old boy
BETTY, 10-year-old girl
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
WHITE RABBIT
ALICE-IN- WONDERLAND
CAPTAIN HOOK
SMEE
PETER PAN
LOST BOY
SNOW WHITE
HAPPY
SLEEPY
PlNOCCHIO
TIGER LILY
RAGGEDY ANN
RAGGEDY ANDY
BLUE FAIRY
CINDERELLA
LITTLE LAME PRINCE
SCENE 1
SETTING : Living-room of the Robertson home.
AT RISE: BETTY and BILLY ROBERTSON are sitting by the living-
room table. BETTY is sewing, and BILLY is thumbing the pages
of a book.
BILLY (Tossing book aside) : It's no use. (Sighs.)
BETTY (Looking up from sewing) : What's the matter, Billy?
BILLY : I was trying to find a game.
BETTY: What kind of game did you want?
BILLY : Something new and different. Something with adventure
— that's it!
412
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND 413
BETTY (Laying sewing aside) : I know! I have just the game!
BILLY : A game that two of us can play?
BETTY: Of course. Any number of people can play — even one
can play it alone.
BILLY : Tell me more about it
BETTY : It is very simple — it is the game of Make Believe.
BILLY : Are you fooling, Betty? Do you expect me —
BETTY : Now, wait a minute, Billy — you have heard of imagina-
tion, haven't you?
BILLY: Who hasn't? But if you think I am going to sit around
imagining things you're mistaken. (Rises and starts off stage.)
BETTY: Won't you play with me just once?
BILLY (Returning to chair) : Oh, well, all right — but if I don't
like it I won't stay.
BETTY : But you will — I know you will.
BILLY: Well, how does it begin?
BETTY : First you decide what you want to wish.
BILLY: That's not hard. I wish I had an airplane, a new bicycle
and a — say, maybe I'd settle for a million dollars and then I
could buy anything I want.
BETTY: No, Billy, that isn't it, exactly. Let me explain.
BILLY : Never mind. I might have known there was a catch. You
name your wish.
BETTY: All right — but promise you won't laugh. I think we
should wish —
BILLY: Go ahead —
BETTY: Wish that we could make a trip to Storybook Land!
BILLY: Of all the —
BETTY : Wouldn't you like to see the folks we read about in books ?
BILLY: Sure, only it sounds crazy to me — Storybook Land!
BETTY : It isn't, Billy, really it isn't I've been there many times.
All you have to do is — close your eyes, make a wish, open
them, and youTI see. Are you ready?
BILLY: Sure.
BETTY (Very slowly) : Close your eyes — (Both children place
hands over eyes) make a wish — (Pause) wish hard, Billy —
open them — (Before they open eyes the curtain falls.)
* * *
414 WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
SCENE 2
SETTING: Storybook Land.
AT RISE: BETTY and BILLY are standing in the middle of the
stage with their hands still over their eyes.
BETTY: Open them — take a look — see what happens.
BILLY (As both children remove hands from eyes) : Nothing will
happen — I can tell you that. (Looks around) But — but —
something has happened. Look, Betty !
BETTY: What a pretty cottage!
BILLY : Where are we? That's what I'd like to know.
BETTY (Hesitatingly) : Well — we wished to be in Storybook
Land — maybe this is it
BILLY: I wonder who lives in the cottage. Let's knock on the
door. (Goes toward cottage, but door opens before he reaches
it and out steps LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD with a basket on her
arm.)
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Good morning. Were you looking for
someone?
BETTY: Why, Little Red Riding Hood! How exciting!
BILLY: We were — that is —
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Goodness, little boy, you seem to be
a bit mixed up. (Smiles.)
BETTY : What we would like to know is — would you please tell
us where we are ?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: You are in Storybook Land; didn't
you know?
BILLY: You are just like your pictures.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: And what, is so strange about that?
You look like your pictures, too.
BILLY: It's all so funny.
BETTY: Where are you going, Little Red Riding Hood?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Through the woods to Grandmother's
house. I must hurry, too. Mother wishes me to return before
long.
BETTY: Please, please be careful, won't you?
BILLY: I don't think you'd better go.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Of course, I must Grandmother is
not well and this delicious batter and cake will help her (Points
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND 415
to basket). Goodbye, I'll see you later. (Walks off left of stage
waving goodbye.)
BILLY : We certainly hope so. Goodbye.
BETTY: Goodbye, Little Red Riding Hood. (After her departure,
BETTY and BILLY look about them cautiously.)
BILLY : Well, what next, do you suppose ?
BETTY (Placing finger4 to lips) : Sh-h-h! I think I hear footsteps.
BILLY (Whispering) : So do I. (Sound of footsteps in distance
gradually becoming louder. Enter WHITE RABBIT.)
WHITE RABBIT (Walks hurriedly looking to left and right. Pauses
abruptly and speaks) : Where can 1 have left them? (Sliakes
head and readies into waistcoat pocket, pulls out very large card-
board watch, looks at it and continues to walk up and down
stage hurriedly.) My ears and whiskers, I'll be late again!
What can I do?
BETTY: You are the White Rabbit, aren't you? Is there anything
we can do to help ?
WHITE RABBIT (Comes to a stop; looks curiously at BETTY and
BILLY) : Young lady, speak when you are spoken to.
BILLY : I must say, Mr. White Rabbit, you are very rude,
WHITE RABBIT : What you say makes no difference to me, young
man, and if I weren't in such a hurry — (Glances at watch
again, raises it to ear and shakes it) My ears and whiskers! I
must be off! (With tiny running steps- leaves stage at left.
BETTY and BILLY start after him.)
BETTY : Oh, please don't leave !
BILLY : We came all the way to Storybook Land to see you. (ALICE
IN WONDERLAND enters right as WHITE RABBIT disappears.)
ALICE: Have you seen him? Did he pass this way? I must find
him. I have his white gloves. (Holds- up her hands on which
she has placed gloves.)
BETTY (Walking toward ALICE) : How nice to see you here!
BILLY: Alice in Wonderland! And you look just like — oh, oh
— I better not say that again — Little Red Riding Hood didn't
seem to like it
ALICE: The White Rabbit — do you know what became of him?
BETTY (Nodding in direction of WHITE RABBIT) : He went that
way. If you hurry, you will find him.
ALICE (Hurriedly leaving) : Thank you — thank you so much!
BILLY: This place gets crazier every minute!
416 WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
BETTY: Why, Billy, everything is perfectly natural — that is, for
Storybook Land.
BILLY: I'm glad you think so. (Voices offstage, loud and quarrel-
some. BETTY and BILLY, frightened, look questioningly at each
other and run toward tree for shelter.)
CAPTAIN HOOK: But I tell you, Smee, he must be here I
SMEE: No, Hook, you are wrong.
HOOK (Enraged) : Who are you to tell me I'm wrong? I've a
good mind to make you walk the plank.
BETTY (In a small voice) : Oh, Billy, I do wish we hadn't come.
BILLY (Unsteadily) : J-j-just 1-like a g-girl — always s-scared.
BETTY: I'm not — (Enter CAPTAIN HOOK with large strides.
SMEE follows.)
BILLY: Sh-h-h! Don't let them see us.
HOOK (Paces up and down stage, talking loudly, slowly, and with
emphasis) : Peter Pan ! I'll conquer him if it's the last thing
I do. A fight to the finish — that is what it shall be ! What's
that? Did I hear you say something, Smee?
SMEE : Not me — not me — I didn't say a word, honestly I didn't !
HOOK (Steps to front of stage with swagger and in sing-song voice
recites) :
1 am Captain Hook, yo-ho
A brave and haughty sailor.
Many men I've sent below
Beware, beware this sailor!
For if you do not satisfy,
You are surely doomed to die —
(A loud ticking sound is heard and HOOK stares ahead in
terror.)
HOOK: The crocodile! The crocodile! Quick, Smee, let us be off !
(Leave hurriedly. As HOOK leaves left, PETER PAN and one of
the LOST BOYS enter right.)
PETER PAN (Clapping hands- with glee) : You see, I fooled him
again. (Folds arms in front of chest and stands astride.) I am
a very remarkable fellow !
LOST BOY: Ever since that crocodile tasted his arm, he follows
Hook around to devour the rest of him.
PETER PAN : Lucky for Hook the crocodile swallowed that alarm
dock!
LOST BOY: And lucky for you that you can fool Hook with your
ticking! (BETTY and BILLY come quickly from behind tree.)
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND 417
BILLY: Quick, Peter Pan! You better leave here. The terrible
Captain Hook is searching for you.
BETTY: Oh, please Peter Pan — we love you so, and we don't
want anything to happen to you.
PETER PAN : Ho-ho ! You talk as if the great Peter Pan were a
coward. (Struts across stage.) I am a very remarkable fellow.
What have / to fear from Hook? I will meet him in fair fight
and that will be the end of Hook. (Turns to LOST BOY and then
starts offstage right.) Come, we will end Hook's search for us.
BETTY : But Captain Hook went —
BILLY (Clasping hand over BETTY'S mouth) : Sh-h-h! Don't tell
him. Hook may kill him.
BETTY: Oh, I'm so glad you stopped me. I never thought of that.
(Enter LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, left.)
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD : Have you enjoyed yourselves in Story-
book Land?
BILLY (Surprised) : Didn't the wolf get you?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Oh, my no! Just as he was about to
eat me up, woodchoppers heard my screams and saved me.
BETTY: But your poor Grandmother!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: She's all right, too. Ill tell you all
about it sometime, but I must hurry into the house now.
BILLY: But won't you stay and play with us for a little while?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Oh, I musn't because I am having a
garden party for all the little folks of Storybook Land and they
will be here any minute now. (Enters house.)
BETTY: We certainly visited Storybook Land at a good time.
Everything seems to be happening today.
BILLY (Looking off stage right) : Will you look at who is coming?
(Enter SNOW WHITE foUowed by HAPPY. SLEEPY trails be-
hind.)
SNOW WHITE: For goodness sake, Sleepy, can't you stay awake
even long enough to go to Little Red Riding Hood's party?
(SLEEPY rubs eyes, stretches, yawns and goes back to rubbing
eyes again.)
HAPPY: It's no use, Snow White; might as well let him sleep.
He always does, you know.
SNOW WHITE (Smiling) : I suppose you are right, Happy. Would
you, then, like to take him over to the foot of that tree and let
him make himself as comfortable as possible?
HAPPY: Certainly, Snow White, it would be a pleasure. (HAPPY
418 WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
lead s SLEEPY to tree. SLEEPY yawns again, stretches and falls
off to sleep.)
BILLY (Walking toward SNOW WHITE) : Pardon us, Snow
White, we didn't mean to intrude. I am Billy, and this is my
sister, Betty.
SNOW WHITE : I am very glad to know you, and I am sure Happy
is, too.
HAPPY (With broad grin) : Of course, I am. I'm always happy.
Say, tell me — are you — (HAPPY is interrupted by the entrance
of WHITE RABBIT and ALICE.)
WHITE RABBIT (Pulling on white gloves) : But it is your fault,
I say!
ALICE (Following WHITE RABBIT across stage and tugging at
waistcoat) : I gave you the gloves as soon as I found them,
didn't I?
WHITE RABBIT: What right did you have to find them?
ALICE: That's a stupid question!
WHITE RABBIT (Abruptly facing ALICE and wagging finger in
front of her nose) : Stupid! Stupid, you say? You listen to me,
young lady — and listen carefully —
BILLY: My goodness! If that isn't the funniest sight I ever saw
— a white rabbit scolding.
WHITE RABBIT (Brushes past ALICE and stands in front of BILLY,
again wagging finger) : This, young man —
BILLY (Clasping WHITE RABBIT'S finger) : Take it easy, Mr.
White Rabbit After all, we think it was very kind of Alice-in-
Wonderland to go to all the trouble of searching for you so that
she might return your gloves.
BETTY : It certainty was. And you should be ashamed of yourself
for acting in such a manner!
WHITE RABBIT (Scratching ear with gloved hand) : Do you really
think so?
BILLY: Of course we do! (WHITE RABBIT hangs head, scrapes
floor with right foot and finally breaks into loud sobbing.)
BETTY (Alarmed) : Oh, please don't do that!
BILLY: What's the matter now?
WHITE RABBIT (Between sobs) : I've been such a bad, bad rab-
bit (BETTY and BILLY comfort WHITE RABBIT while ALICE
walks over to tree, looks curiously qt SLEEPY. SNOW WHITE
and HAPPY follow her and in pantomime explain that he can't
be awakened. SLEEPY yawns, stretches and goes, to sleep again.)
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND 419
BETTY: There, there White Rabbit. Do you feel better now?
(Enter PINOCCHIO excitedly.)
PINOCCHIO: Has the party begun yet? Am I late? Look at the
present I brought. I'll bet it is the biggest one Red Riding
Hood will get! (Displays large package.}
SNOW WHITE (Dips into pocket and takes out small package.
ALICE does likewise) : I hope you and I didn't bring the same
thing.
PINOCCHIO: This is heavy. Where shall we pile the presents?
HAPPY (Taking present from inside his jacket) : I suggest we put
them over near Sleepy. (As BETTY and BILLY watch, others
arrange presents. Enter from left and right TIGER LILY, RAG-
GEDY ANN, RAGGEDY ANDY, BLUE FAIRY, CINDERELLA, LITTLE
LAME PRINCE, and place gifts at foot of tree.)
BFTTY: My, Bill, Little Red Riding Hood will certainly be
pleased 1
WHITE RABBIT: I am having my present delivered. I hope it ar-
rives in time.
RAGGEDY ANDY: What is it, Mr. White Rabbit?
RAGGEDY ANN : Please tell us, won't you ?
WHITE RABBIT: Will everybody promise not to tell Little Red
Riding Hood?
ALL : Of course, we won't tell.
WHITE RABBIT (Stretching out arms) : Well then, it was a big
birthday cake and on it was written — but wait until you see
it — youll all be surprised.
CINDERELLA : Little Red Riding Hood will be more surprised than
anyone.
BLUE FAIRY : I wonder if she knows we are here.
ALICE: Let's sing the "Happy Birthday Song" and then she will
surely know.
PINOCCHIO (Excitedly) : And do I love to sing! (Begins ahead
of rest)
Happy Birthday to you
Happy —
(BLUE FAIRY places restraining hand on PINOCCHIO'S shoulder.)
BLUE FAIRY: Pinocchio, Pinocchio! (Shakes her head sadly.)
Haven't I taught you any manners? Wait for the others. ( PIN-
OCCHIO hangs head in shame, but joyfutty raises it as all sing.)
ALL: Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
420 WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
Happy Birthday, dear Riding Hood,
Happy Birthday to you.
(As last line of song is sung, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD steps
out of cottage door.)
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Welcome, most welcome, good
friends ! I am so glad you were all able to come to my party.
ALL: We are very happy to be here, Little Red Riding Hood.
BETTY : Billy and I really shouldn't — (HOOK'S voice is heard off-
stage left and he enters shortly.)
HOOK : I tell you, Smee, we are not running away. We are not
running away from Peter Pan. (Walks hurriedly across stage
to center, with SMEE following. Stops abruptly, faces SMEE
pointing iron claw at him.) Do you understand me, Smee?
SMEE (Doubtfully) : But if we aren't running away what are we
doing? (Characters on stage whisper excitedly to one another,
then quietly seek hiding places.)
HOOK: If Peter Pan thinks I am running away he will be sure to
follow me here and then — (With gritnacing gestures)
Yo-ho, yo-ho I'll have you know
I'm a mean and wicked sailor
It's to the bottom of the sea you'll go
Should you displease this sailor!
I'm captain of the pirate band
The wickedest on sea or land!
(Enter left PETER PAN and LOST BOY.)
PETER PAN : So there you are, Hook ! At last I've caught up with
you! And now for the fight to the finish ! (Draws sword from
side. HOOK steps up to PETER PAN and draws sword, too. Otlier
characters cautiously step forward. LITTLE LAME PRINCE ex-
citedly throws cap into air.)
LITTLE LAME PRINCE: Oh, what I wouldn't give to join in the
sport! (TIGER LJLY rushes to side of PETER PAN.)
TIGER LILY: Peter Pan! Peter Pan! Do you wish me to go for
my Indian Braves? (PETER PAN and HOOK continue crossing
swords, with PETER playing dramatically to audience, bowing,
etc., in between times.)
PETER PAN: For shame, Tiger Lily! Never let it be said that
Peter Pan is a coward! (Suddenly from crowd steps RAGGEDY
ANN with RAGGEDY ANDY by the hand. She claps her hands to-
gether to get the attention of PETER and HOOK and wags finger
as she speaks.)
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND 421
RAGGEDY ANN : You two should be ashamed of yourselves, spoil-
ing dear Little Red Riding Hood's party. (Points to large heart
pinned on dress.^ly candy heart tells me it is wrong to quarrel,
isn't it, folks of Storybook Land?
ALL : It certainly is ! (Peter Pan and HOOK stop and look at each
other.)
PETER PAN: Is it possible we could be wrong?
HOOK: Everyone else seems to think so.
PETER PAN: I, Peter Pan, a most remarkable fellow?
HOOK : And I, Hook, the boldest, badest, wickedest pirate on the
seven seas?
RAGGEDY ANN : Yes — you are wrong — very wrong.
PETER PAN (Scratches head) : And anyway, Hook, I've been
thinking — if I kill you, 111 miss you. Yes, sir, miss you very
much.
HOOK: I would miss you, too, Peter Pan — (Sadly) as much as
you would miss me. (Starts to break down, ending with sobs
which become wails) Oh, somebody do something — somebody
stop us before it is too late !
PINOCCHIO (Excitedly) : The Blue Fairy will make you be good.
She always sees that I do the right thing — at least when she
is around.
BLUE FAIRY: Yes, Peter Pan and Captain Hook. I suggest that
you shake hands and then we can get on with this party.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Please do. Mother will be so disap-
pointed if the party is spoiled. She did so want it to be a nice one.
BETTY: Oh, goodness — goodness!
^ RAGGEDY ANDY : What is the matter, little girl ?
BETTY: When Little Red Riding Hood mentioned her mother I
suddenly remembered that our mother would be looking for us
— we've been away so long!
BILLY: That's right. She may be worried about us this very
minute. Make up you two before we leave.
PETER PAN : What else can we do, Hook? We're not really selfish,
you know.
ALL: Of course not!
HOOK : All right, Peter Pan. Well put our swords over by the
tree. (PETER and HOOK place swords at foot of tree.)
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: Oh, thank you — thank you so much !
Now we can go on with the party,
i/ BILLY: Sorry, we can't stay, but well come back another day.
422 WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
ALL : Yes, do.
BILLY: Gosh, Betty, how are we going to get home?
BETTY: Why, just the way we came, of course. Close your eyes
— make a wish — (BETTY and BILLY place hands over eyes and
PINOCCHIO does likewise. BLUE FAIRY, alarmed, interrupts pro-
ceedings.)
BLUE FAIRY: Pinocchio! What are you doing now? Don't you
want to stay for the party?
PINOCCHIO (Quickly removing hands from eyes) : Of course I do.
I only wanted to see what would happen if I made a wish !
BILLY (Smiling) : Well, you better try it some other time. Let's
start again, Betty.
BETTY: Yes, Billy. Goodbye everybody. We certainly enjoyed
our trip to Storybook Land.
ALL : Goodbye, we were glad to have you visit us.
BETTY : This time when we open our eyes, Billy, we'll be right in
our own living room again — so close your eyes — (They place
hands over eyes) make a wish — (Curtain slowly — commences
to fati) open them — (Curtain falls as folks of Storybook Land
wave goodbye.)
THE END
OFF THE SHELF
by Mildred Hark and Noel McQueen
Characters
Miss POETRY
MR. DICTIONARY
MR. HISTORY BOOK
Miss GRAMMAR
MR. ARITHMETIC
MR. NONSENSE BOOK
Miss STORY BOOK
MR. BIOGRAPHY
TIME: Late evening.
SETTING: A reading room in a public library.
AT RISE: A low moaning sound is heard but there is no sign of
anyone on the stage. A little voice (Miss POETRY) says: "Oh,
dear me. Oh, dear me. I wish somebody would help me!"
MR. DICTIONARY comes from between the stacks of books at
left. On a large placard made to look like the front cover of a
book and hung from around his neck is printed'. "Universal
Unabridged Dictionary."
MR. DICTIONARY (As he enters) : Do my ears deceive me, or did
I hear someone call?
Miss POETRY (A little head pops up from behind the top
of the library table. Miss POETRY can be curled up on the chair
"at rise" so she is not seen) : Is that you, Mr. Dictionary?
MR. DICTIONARY (Crossing over) : Why, Miss Poetry, what are
you doing on that chair?
Miss POETRY: A little girl left me here this afternoon — face
down. Then another one came in and sat on me. Hard! I
think my back is broken. Help me, Mr. Dictionary! (MR.
DICTIONARY pulls at Miss POETRY. Finally, with MR. Dic-
423
424 OFF THE SHELF
TIONARY'S help, she gets to her feet. Miss POETRY'S front cover
has "Collected Poems9' printed on it. She is sniffling.)
Miss POETRY :
Pm sorry to sniffle
And moan and cry;
But when I tell you my story —
You'll understand why.
MR. DICTIONARY (A little pompously) : Now, Miss Poetry, it
isn't necessary for you to make rhymes every minute. Just
state facts. Do you feel better?
Miss POETRY: I — I guess so. (Feeling her back.) Maybe my
back isn't broken after all. Only strained. Oh, why do the
children treat me so carelessly?
MR. DICTIONARY : Tst — tst. A most regrettable state of affairs.
I am grieved
Miss POETRY: Oh, Mr. Dictionary, please don't use all of your
big words now. I'm too nervous.
MR. DICTIONARY: But I like big words. I'm full of them.
Miss POETRY: Well, I like only pretty words. Rosy dawns and
blue skies and perfumed flowers.
MR. DICTIONARY : I have those words, also. Any word you can
think of I have right inside me. But let's not quarrel at a time
like this. We've got to do something. The children treat me
carelessly, too.
Miss POETRY: They do?
MR. DICTIONARY: Certainly they do — and what's more they
don't use me enough. Why, think of the things they could learn
from me — what's a "yak*'? Ill tell them. What does "con-
catenation" mean? They can find out if they look in me —
(MR. HISTORY BOOK comes in from right, walking slowly and
stretching his arms. He is covered with dust and on his front
cover is printed: "History — Ancient and Modern.9')
MR. HISTORY BOOK : What's going on in here?
MR. DICTIONARY: Oh, hello, Mr. History Book.
MR. HISTORY BOOK : I thought I heard someone. You woke me
up. (He is still stretching.)
Miss POETRY : Oh, I'm sorry.
MR. HISTORY BOOK: Never mind. It'll probably do me good to
stretch out I've been on that shelf so long! (He blows dust
off his shoulders.) Look at that. Dust!
OFF THE SHELF 425
Miss POETRY: My, a lot of it!
MR. DICTIONARY: Why, you're literally covered with dust.
MR. HISTORY BOOK (Still blowing) : Of course I am. I look a
sight. No one ever takes me off the shelf.
Miss POETRY: Never?
MR. HISTORY BOOK : Well, hardly ever. The last time a little boy
took me off the shelf, he squeezed me back in between a lot of
other fat history books where I didn't belong. Now, I fed all
flattened out like a pancake.
Miss POETRY : I think it's a shame. No one ever opens you and —
why, you're exciting. So many wonderful things have happened
in history !
MR. HISTORY BOOK : That's true, but the little boy said I was as
dry as dust — and now, look! I'm covered with it. (He blows
off more dust.)
MR. DICTIONARY: Perhaps he felt you were dry because you're
full of dates. You know — the Pilgrims landed in 1620 —
George Washington crossed the Delaware in —
Miss POETRY: Oh, but that's what makes History so interesting!
You aren't held down to the present or any one tune — why,
you can go into all the times there are. It's wonderful !
MR. HISTORY BOOK : Of course it is. If the children would really
read me, they'd be interested, too. (Miss GRAMMAR and MR.
ARITHMETIC come in from right. Miss GRAMMAR has "English
Grammar" printed on her front cover and MR. ARITHMETIC
has "Arithmetic" on his.)
MR. DICTIONARY : Why, Miss Grammar —
MR. HISTORY BOOK: And Mr. Arithmetic!
Miss POETRY: Where did you come from?
MR. ARITHMETIC: We jumped off the textbook shelf.
Miss GRAMMAR: Yes. In Aisle Six.
MR. ARITHMETIC: We heard you talking and wondered what
was going on.
MR. DICTIONARY: Well, you might say we were holding an indig-
nation meeting.
Miss POETRY: The children treat us carelessly.
MR. HISTORY BOOK: They don't appreciate us.
Miss GRAMMAR: They certainly don't appreciate me. They re-
fuse to learn to conjugate a verb and they cannot tell the subject
from the object
426 OFF THE SHELF
MR. ARITHMETIC : Some little boys like me well enough, but even
they don't realize how fascinating arithmetic is. Why, there's
romance in numbers. Just between you and I —
Miss GRAMAR: Mr. Arithmetic, never say "between you and I."
That's horrible grammar. Between you and me.
MR. ARITHMETIC: Look, Miss Grammar, you can't expect me to
know about things like that. Numbers are my specialty. 7 x 8 is
56; 9 x 12 is 108 —
MR. HISTORY BOOK : Stop it, you two. If we're really going to
have a meeting, let's organize. Let's do something!
Miss POETRY: I second the motion. I'll represent the poetry
books ! (A NONSENSE BOOK comes tumbling in. He has "Non-
sense, Wit and Humour" on his front cover. He runs up behind
MR. DICTIONARY and pulls his hair.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Surprise!
MR. DICTIONARY: Stop that! Who is it?
Miss POETRY: It's Mr. Nonsense Book.
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: In person. Chuck full of wit and humour!
May I join your meeting?
MR. DICTIONARY : If you think you can behave yourself.
MR. HISTORY BOOK : You're so flighty, and we're here to discuss
a serious question —
MR. NONSENSE BOOK:
I'll be as serious as I can be —
Just watch me now and see!
(He jumps up on the library table and tumbles about.)
MR. DICTIONARY (Angrily) : If you cannot conduct yourself with
dignity —
MR. NONSENSE BOOK (Laughing) : Mr. Dictionary looks wor-
ried. That must be because he's so over burdened with words.
MR. ARITHMETIC (Laughing) : That was funny.
MR. DICTIONARY (Aggrieved): Stop laughing!
MR. NONSENSE BOOK (Innocently) : But you're supposed to laugh
at jokes.
MR. DICTIONARY : Humph, you call what he said about me a joke?
Miss POETRY: Well, what was it then, Mr. Dictionary?
MR. DICTIONARY : It was a pun — and a pun is the lowest form
of wit (He looks sternly at MR. NONSENSE BOOK.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK (Jumping off the table) : Now, now, Mr.
Dictionary, my wit is of the highest quality, but I'm sorry if I
offended you and I'll be good. I do really want to help.
OFF THE SHELF 427
MR. DICTIONARY: Help? How can you help?
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Oh, lots of ways and you needn't high-
hat me. The children need to read me, too. I show them how
to play games and how to have fun — and I develop their senses
of humour — that's important. (Miss STORY BOOK enters.
She has "Famous Stories for Children" printed on her front
cover. She looks tattered and worn.)
MR. HISTORY BOOK : Why, hello, Miss Story Book.
Miss STORY BOOK: Oh, I'm so glad you're all here. I've been
having nightmares.
MR. DICTIONARY: Nightmares?
Miss POETRY: Nightmares? (Shaking her head.) How can that
be? You're full of such nice stories!
Miss STORY BOOK : I know, but I haven't felt well at all lately.
A little girl liked one of my pictures and she tore it out and
took it home with her.
Miss GRAMMAR: How awful!
Miss STORY BOOK : And somebody else scribbled on me — until
the next person who borrows me won't be able to read me at
all. I'm a wreck, I tell you!
MR. ARITHMETIC: But won't the librarian fix you up?
Miss STORY BOOK : I guess so, but she hasn't gotten around to it
yet. I — I feel so sad. I try to give the children pleasure and —
MR. HISTORY BOOK: Well, it seems Miss Story Book is treated
just as badly as the rest of us. Let's not delay another minute.
Let's get down to business.
Miss POETRY: That's what I say — and we need somebody to
run our meeting. We can't just all talk at once.
Miss GRAMMAR: What about Mr. Dictionary?
MR. DICTIONARY: Why, 111 be very happy to take charge. I'll just
sit at the end of the table here, (He seats himself.) and you
can all group yourselves around me. (The others take seats at
the other end and along the upstage side.) Now, let me see.
We've got to begin this meeting properly. How does this sound?
It is indeed a strange concatenation of circumstances that brings
us all together —
Miss POETRY: Please, Mr. Dictionary, don't use your big words.
We haven't time.
OTHERS (All talking at once) : No, no, who cares about all that?
We've got to do something! We've got to make the children
428 OFF THE SHELF
appreciate us. Rebel, that's what we'll have to do. The rebellion
of the books!
MR. DICTIONARY: Stop it! Order! Order! (Shouting louder)
May I have order, please? I can't run this meeting unless I
can have order — (MR. BIOGRAPHY enters. His front cover
has "Lives of Great Men'9 printed on it. He comes in hurriedly.)
MR. BIOGRAPHY : Wait for me — wait for me — I want to attend
your meeting —
MR. DICTIONARY: Why, surely, Mr. Biography. . .
MR. BIOGRAPHY: I'm very important — lives of great men make
fine reading for children. In fact —
"Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time."
Miss POETRY : Shame on you, Mr. Biography. You're stealing
my stuff — thaf s poetry.
MR. BIOGRAPHY: But it's true, isn't it?
Miss POETRY: Yes, but Mr. Longfellow wrote it and it's one of
my poems. I have a very fine collection.
MR. DICTIONARY: Well, never mind that now. Sit down, Mr.
Biography — sit down — well begin again — and please,
everyone, see if you can be more quiet and speak in turn.
(Looking around.) Now, where's Mr. Nonsense Book? (MR.
NONSENSE BOOK has wandered over to the librarian's desk and
now comes skipping back with a ruler in his hand.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Here I am — and I brought you this. (He
hands MR. DICTIONARY the ruler.)
MR. DICTIONARY: What's this for?
MR. NONSENSE BOOK : Well, if you're going to rule, you'll need a
ruler. (The others laugh and MR. DICTIONARY makes a face.)
MR. DICTIONARY : Oh, you and your puns. But thank you, any-
way. (He raps the table with the ruler.) Meeting come to or-
der. Meeting come to order, please! (NONSENSE BOOK scurries
to his seat and they are all quiet for a moment.) Now, Miss
Poetry, you've been very badly treated. Suppose you tell us
what you think we ought to do.
Miss POETRY (Rising at her place) : We ought to revolt, that's
what I say —
MR. HISTORY BOOK: Well, I don't know. Revolutions have
OFF THE SHELF 429
worked, but I think education would be better. If we could
educate the children.
Miss STORY BOOK (Rising) : Excuse me, but neither one will
work. The children have got to iove us — all of us. If they
just realized that we're all their friends. That we'll help them.
Miss GRAMMAR: Yes, that's it.
MR. ARITHMETIC : I think she's got something there. There's no
use our rebelling — we've got to stage a campaign — sell the
children on us —
MR. BIOGRAPHY: Make the children know what they're missing
if they don't read us —
Miss POETRY: And teach them to take care of us, too, so when
they've finished reading us, we'll still be whole and other people
can enjoy us.
MR. DICTIONARY: Good — good — I think we're accomplishing
something. What have you to say, Mr. Nonsense Book? (Look-
ing around for kirn.) Has he disappeared again? (MR. NON-
SENSE BOOK has wandered aver to the librarian's desk again.
He looks up when he hears his name called.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK (Running over with a calendar in his
hand) : Listen, I've got a wonderful idea! Do you know what
week this is?
MR. DICTIONARY : No, and we don't care —
MR. NONSENSE BOOK : But you should. This is Book Week.
MR. BIOGRAPHY: It's what?
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Book Week. The librarian has drawn a
big red mark on her calendar — why, this is the perfect time
for our campaign. Book Week! Let's show the children the
way to knowledge and happiness and fun. Read books, well
tdl them! (They are all rising excitedly.)
Miss POETRY: Yes. Yes!
ALL: Read books — read books!
MR. DICTIONARY (Spiritedly) :
Read books, well tell the children,
And see what you will see —
And if there's a word you can't make out —
Just come and ask of me.
I'm full of many many words,
All listed, A to Z —
Your reading will be much more fun
430 OFF THE SHELF
If you make friends with me !
{He finishes with a little dance step.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Splendid, Mr. Dictionary — splendid! I
didn't think you had it in you. Let's all tell the boys and girls
what we think. (He steps forward a little.)
Oh, boys and girls, please read us —
You'll like us very well ;
We've many a stirring message —
And many a tale to tell !
As for me, I'm full of nonsense —
You'll laugh and chuckle with glee;
But you'll develop a sense of humour —
If you keep on reading me!
(He tumbles about to end his little rhyme.)
Miss POETRY (Stepping forward) : I want to tell them how to
take care of us so we won't wear out.
Don't break my back, dear children —
Please take this gentle hint —
And do not turn my corners down,
Or scribble on my print.
Take care of me and treat me well —
I'm full of verse and rhyme,
And pretty words that make you sing —
And lofty thoughts sublime !
ALL: Hooray for Miss Poetry. Hooray! (They all clap. MR.
HISTORY BOOK steps forward.)
MR. HISTORY BOOK :
I'm Mr. History, as good as a mystery —
If you read me all the way through ;
So don't let me stay upon the shelf —
I can do a great deal for you.
Oh, history is exciting —
It tells a thousand stories ;
There's romance and adventure —
The past and all its glories !
(They all laugh and applaud.)
MR. DICTIONARY: How about you, Miss Grammar? What have
you got to say to the children?
Miss GRAMMAR (Skipping forward) :
Please don't neglect me, boys and girls,
OFF THE SHELF 431
I am a grammar book —
But really very interesting,
If you'll just take a look.
For verbs and nouns and adjectives
Are lots of fun, you know —
And if you'll learn to use them —
They'll help you talk — just so !
ALL: Hooray — hooray for Miss Grammar! Read the textbooks,
too — that's what we say! Come on, Mr. Arithmetic — you
next!
MR. ARITHMETIC:
Oh, six and six are twelve,
And four times two is eight ;
Numbers are not hard to learn —
If you'll just concentrate.
Arithmetic is like a game,
You'll have a lot of pleasure —
And if you read me carefully —
You'll learn to count and measure.
MR. BIOGRAPHY (Stepping forward) :
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime —
Miss POETRY (Shaking her finger at him) : Now, now, Mr.
Biography —
MR. BIOGRAPHY : All right, 111 make up my own verse.
Oh, I tell of great men —
Of wise men and bright;
Of men we all admire
Who helped to make things right
But when these men were little boys —
Like you — and you — and you — (Pointing)
They were really very human —
They did the things you do !
Miss STORY BOOK (Skipping forward) :
Please don't tear my pictures out,
And take them home with you —
Because lots of other children
Like to read me, too.
My stories take you everywhere —
Fm full of fun and joy;
I try to be a faithful friend
432 OFF THE SHELF
To every girl and boy!
(She steps back and all the characters form a halj circle at stage
center and join hands, except MR. NONSENSE BOOK who has
again wandered away to the librarian's desk.)
ALL (Looking out at audience) : We're all your friends — your
friends and helpers! (MR. NONSENSE BOOK now comes running
back and breaks the circle. He is excited and carries several
large white posters. These must be of stiff cardboard.)
MR. NONSENSE BOOK: Look — look what else I found on the
librarian's desk! She made them, I guess, for Book Week!
(He holds up several posters excitedly, and you see the printing
on some of them. Each character takes one. There are eight
posters and the printing is as fottows: (1) Joy in Books.
(2) Knowledge in Books. (3) Fun in Books. (4) Beauty in
Books. (5) Treat Your Books Well. (6) Books Are Friends.
(7) Books Are Helpers. (8) Take Care of Your Books. After
each one has a poster, he or she holds it high and faces the
audience.)
ALL (Holding their posters up, smiling and shaking their heads
gaily):
Oh, books are friends
Who bring you cheer;
We're good companions
All the year!
We bring you joy
And truth and light;
We help you all
To grow up bright!
(Quick curtain)
THE END
MR. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK
by Edna G. Moore
Characters
HEKRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, the poet
ALICE 1
EDITH X the three little daughters of the poet
ALLEGRA /
Characters from books which have won the Newberry medal.
JOSEPH, a Polish boy. (From the "Trumpeter of Cracow," by
Kelly.)
HITTY, a wooden doU. (From "Hitty," by Field.)
SMOKY, a cow horse. (From "Young Fu," by Lewis.)
DR. HUGH DOOLITTLE. (From "Dr. Doolhtle," by Lofting.)
YOUNGER BROTHER, an Indian boy. (From "Waterless Moun-
tain," by Anner.)
DANIEL BOONE. (From "Daniel Boone," by Daugherty.)
LUCINDA. (From "Roller Skates," by Sawyer.)
SETTING: MR. LONGFELLOW'S study in his home.
AT RISE: M». LONGFELLOW iff seated in an armchair, writing at a
sloping desk. Sound of rustling and whispering offstage. Then
a rush of footsteps and three little girls enter from different
directions and throw themselves into his lap and on the arms of
his chair.
ALICE: It's five o'clock, Father.
EDITH : If s the Children's Hour.
ALLEGRA : Put away your writing — it's our time.
LONGFELLOW: Blue-eyed banditti I How did you get in here?
ALLEGRA: So we're bandits, are we? Yes, we're bandits — come
to steal your time. What are you going to do with us?
LONGFELLOW : Do you think such an old mustache as I am is not
a match for you all? All of you, grave Alice (Pats her) —
433
434 MR. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK
laughing AHegra (Points at her) — and Edith with the golden
hair. (Pulls a ringlet of EDITH'S. He tries to rise, but they crowd
him back in his chair 9 with their arms around him. Still strug-
gling.) I'll put you down in the dungeon, in the round tower of
my heart.
ALLEGRA : And we'll put you down in your armchair and hold you
there for a ransom.
LONGFELLOW : I give up. (Sinks back in his chair.) What must
I pay you three wicked highwaymen? What must I pay to be
free?
THE THREE GIRLS (Joining hands and dancing around him in a
circle, chanting) : A ransom I A ransom! A ransom!
LONGFELLOW : Tell me the worst. What must I pay ?
ALL THREE (Together) : A story, Father, a story!
LONGFELLOW: I knew it! I knew it! It is always a story, isn't it?
Well, I'll tell you a story, my children. You, Alice, draw up a
chair and sit there.
ALLEGRA (Teasingly) : Remember, Alice —
"There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very good, indeed,
But when she was bad, she was horrid."
LONGFELLOW : I'd better write a poem about you, young lady. Sit
there on my right, where I can keep an eye on you. And you,
Edith, here. I will tell you a story of books now unborn — a
story of the future.
ALLEGRA: What do you mean, Father — books not yet born?
LONGFELLOW: Listen and you shall hear. Do you not know that
books are born every year ? In the brain of some man or woman,
an idea grows and grows. A hand writes it down, the printing
presses stamp it on paper ; then it is bound into a book, to charm
and delight thousands of people.
ALICE: The way you make poems, Father!
EDITH : Some books you have to study and learn from — those
don't delight you!
LONGFELLOW: I'm talking about those you read for pleasure, but
I'm sure if you bent your golden head more often over your
school books, even they might give you pleasure. You call this
ME. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK 435
the Children's Hour, and it is the Children's Hour for you three
alone, you three and me. Can you imagine the same thing grown
bigger — a week instead of an hour? A big public room, in-
stead of my study? Hundreds of children and thousands of
books? So it shall be some day, my darlings. So it shall be,
I feel sure.
Wait Be very quiet I have an idea. I shall not tell you a
fairy tale today. Instead I shall call upon the fairies to come
here in the person of books unborn. You will not live to read
these books but you will get a preview of them today — the
books the boys and girls of the future will read. Be very quiet
— behind my chair! (The three little girls scamper to hide be-
hind his chair, but keep peeping around it. A trumpet blast is
heard. Enter a boy in a Polish costume, who blows a few notes
on his horn. He turns and bows low to LONGFELLOW.)
JOSEPH, the Polish boy : I am the trumpeter of Cracow. Yes, I'm
a Polish boy, and my country and my people have known things,
which, please God, America may never know. These notes I
sound, the music of the Heynal, mean a great deal to me and
to my people. From the church tower in Cracow, they were
sounded every day, from the four sides of the tower, East,
West, North and South. I, Joseph, learned from my father to
play the Heynal, and it is good that I did, for I was able to save
from brutal men the famous crystal which had been entrusted
to my father's family for safekeeping. But you wouldn't know
about that, Mr. Longfellow. Let me salute you again. {Blows
his trumpet, bows low and steps to one side as a patter of light
footsteps is heard. A doll-like person enters.)
HITTY : I am Hitty. I'm a doll, yes, but a famous one. Miss Rachel
Field saw me in a store window in New York City and liked
my looks so well she put me in a book, and got a medal for
doing it —
JOSEPH (Stepping forward) : I forgot to say that my author, Mr.
Eric Kelly, got a medal for the book he wrote about me- Here
it is. (Shows a medal hanging around his neck. Steps aside.)
HITTY: It's just like mine, though I'm not a bit like you. I'm a
wooden doll. A pedlar made me out of a piece of mountain ash
wood, which is supposed to be lucky — but what I've been
through in my first hundred years! I suppose that's how I'm
lucky — I'm still here, starting my second hundred. I've been
436 MR, LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK
shipwrecked; I've been lost in India. I've belonged to the Van
Rensselaers of Washington Square and spent a night with the
Dooley family in the slums. Charles Dickens, the famous auth-
or, once picked me up when I was carelessly dropped and —
(Gallop of horse is heard offstage and there enters a horse with
a large medal around his neck.)
SMOKY: I'm Smoky, the cow horse. You wouldn't know about
the likes of me, Mr. Longfellow. I belong out where the West
begins, and you belong to the East I belong to the West where
the coyotes call and the rattlesnakes coil by the trail — and have
they fangs! We're all rough and tough out there, but very
genui-i-ne.
"You're some cow horse," said Clint, the cowboy of the
Rocking R Ranch to me. And I was his horse, a one-man horse,
until something happened to turn me into the Cougar, the buck-
ing broncho, that no man could ride. Am I bragging? Well, I'll
stop right there, but there's plenty more I could say. Will you
faint if I stand here by you, sister? (Walks over and stands by
Hirnr.)
HITTY: I never fainted in my whole hundred years, not even
when the South Sea savages took me for their idol Who's this ?
(Enter a Chinese boy.)
YOUNG Fu: Lay down your hearts. It is only Young Fu, from
Chungking, deep in the center of China. Honorable and re-
spected sir, I greet you. (Bows low.) Once I would have been
afraid of you, for I thought all such as you were foreign devils
— when I first came as a country boy to the vast and mysterious
city of Chungking. I learned much going around the steep and
narrow streets as errand boy for my master, Tang, the copper-
smith. I learned about bandits and about die military men who
are cruel and dangerous. But mostly I learned that life is good
for a young man who uses his brain and his hands.
JOSEPH : Come over here and stand by me. We're both from coun-
tries far away. (Enter a man inataUhat and long-tatted coat.
He has a large nose.)
DR. DOOLITTLE: I heard you saying something about one hundred
years old. If you think one hundred years is old, you should
have seen my parrot, Polynesia. She was one hundred and
eighty-two, or maybe it was one hundred and eighty-three — she
wasn't quite sure. A wise old bird she was! If it hadn't been
MR. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK 437
for her, Fd never have gotten to Africa that time. I'm John
Doolittle, M.D. (To SMOKY) I say, were you ever sick?
SMOKY: Was I ever sick? Just nearly beaten to death I
DR. DOOLITTLE: I'm a handy man with animals, you know. Yes,
they sent for me to come to Africa, when the monkeys got sick.
Nearly got caught in the kingdom of the Jollikinki. But those
clever monkeys! They took hold of each other's hands and feet
and tails and made a bridge across a steep gorge, over which I
escaped with the king's men at my coattails. (To HITTY)
You've traveled a lot I take it — did you ever see a Pushmi-
pullyu?
SMOKY (Scornfully) : A what? Never heard of it!
DR. DOOLITTLE: The rarest animal in the African jungle! The
only two-headed beast in the world — a head at each end I And
the monkeys gave me one! (To LONGFELLOW) Beg pardon, sir.
I'm John Doolittle, M.D. And I'd like to bring my Pushmi-
pullyu to show you some day. Bless my soul, who's this?
YOUNGER BROTHER: Once I rode my Pinto pony to the wide
waters of the Western Sea. I wanted to follow the Sun-bearer
to where he hangs the sun on a turquoise peg in the turquoise
walls of the Turquoise Lady's house. There I filled a wicker
jar with sea water to take back to my uncle, who is a great
medicine man. He has taught me all the legends and songs, so
I can be a medicine man, too.
YOUNG Fu : And so you got put in a book, too?
DR. DOOLITTLE: Yes, we all got put into books, as far as we are
concerned ; but as far as you are concerned, Mr. Longfellow, we
are not yet born. It is all rather confusing, what?
YOUNGER BROTHER: Here's someone else.
DANIEL BOONE: Daniel Boone, pioneer and backwoodsman.
Many books have been written about me. It is a wonder you
haven't made a poem about me, Mr. Longfellow, the way you
did about the Indians. (Casts a look at YOUNGER BROTHER.)
All the things I did, hunting, and trapping, fighting Indians,
chopping down trees, exploring — it would make a grand poem.
I represent today a new book about me for young people, by
James Daugherty, a good exciting one. They like it. And here
we are, Mr. Longfellow. The fairies sent us to show you what
the books for the boys and girls of the future will be like.
HITTY: There will be many more of us. My fairy said we are
only char — char — —
438 MR. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK WEEK
DR. DOOLITTLE: Characteristic, you mean. That's too big a word
for a doll.
HITTY (Hurrying on) : My fairy said we were to tell you about
Book Week, in the future, when boys and girls get together to
celebrate books for children — with storytelling, plays and ex-
hibits of good books — a whole week of celebration. ( A girl
enters, circling around on roller skates.)
LUCINDA: Am I late? I stopped to watch a soft fluffy cloud
change its shape. The sun was behind it, making it rosy. It
changed into my friend, Mr. Gilligan, the handsomest hansom
cab driver in New York City. His face is very pink. (Swoops
around again in a half -circle.) I'm nearly always late, even
though I go around on skates instead of hoofing it, because I
have so many friends to talk to. There's the old rags-and-bottle
man. Once I rode in his cart, but no one knows it, especially my
Aunt Emily. There's Tony Coppini, the Italian boy, who keeps
his father's fruit stand. There's a new bambino every year in
the basement where the Coppinis live. It's getting crowded.
Mr. Night Owl, my reporter friend, says I'd be like my Aunt
Emily, who's awfully interfering, only I'm so friendly and in-
terested and like people so well. (Skates around again in a wide
swoop.)
ALLEGRA (She steps out into full view) : I want skates like those 1
(The book characters look around in amazement and fright at
her voice, for they can't see her. They vanish.)
LONGFELLOW: You have scared them away, Allegra. They didn't
know anything about you. They were sent to show themselves
to me. Never mind. (Takes her on his lap.) You've seen them
— the books the boys and girls of the future will be reading —
and you've heard about their Book Week. Nice idea, isn't it, to
celebrate books for boys and girls? In fact, I think we have had
an advance celebration, ourselves, today, don't you think so,
daughters ?
EDITH: Oh, Father, they sounded wonderful!
LONGFELLOW (He pushes them off his lap and off the arms of his
chair) : And now our Children's Hour is over for today, and I
must get to work.
THE THREE GIRLS (Running off the stage) : Thank you, Father,
thank you.
THE END
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
by Alice Waster
Characters
EIGHT YOUNG BOOKWORMS, identical in sise, appearance, and
actions
ONE OLD BOOKWORM, like the others but wearing a white beard
SETTING : An old bookshelf in an attic
AT RISE: The stage is empty. The EIGHT BOOKWORMS enter ;
walking just alike. They pause and all look at the books. Then
they look at one another.
IST BOOKWORM : It is true!
2ND BOOKWORM : Books and books and books !
3RD BOOKWORM : A paradise for bookworms !
4TH BOOKWORM : And no sign of inhabitants !
STH BOOKWORM : That spider told us the truth !
6ra BOOKWORM : The place is ours !
7TH BOOKWORM : Our long journey has not been in vain !
STH BOOKWORM : We will never be hungry again 1
ALL : Let us eat ! (They start for the books. The OLD BOOKWORM
steps out of the Encyclopedia, and stares at them in amazement.
They look at him, disappointed.) Ohl
OLD BOOKWORM : As I live and wiggle, these are creatures of my
own kind ! (Stretches out arms.) Welcome, friends, welcome I
(They are silent.) What is the matter? I am a Bookworm, too,
just like yourselves. Are you not glad to see me?
YOUNG BOOKWORMS (Looking at each other in dismay) : We are
lost I The place is already inhabited !
IST YOUNG BOOKWORM : No, we are not glad to see you, because
we had hoped this place was not inhabited. We are a band of
colonists. We and all our people have been driven from our
former home. An old spider told us of this shelf of books in
the attic, and we traveled here, hoping to form a colony and
send for our families. Now we have no place to go.
439
440 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
2ND: And we are so hungry!
ALL: We are so hungry!
OLD BOOKWORM : But, my dear friends, this place is not inhabited !
I am the only inhabitant! There is plenty of room for you.
ALL: Hooray! (They shake one another's hands.)
SRD (To OLD BOOKWORM) : How does it happen that you live
here all alone?
OLD BOOKWORM : I do not know. I grew up here and cannot re-
member any other life. There is a rumor that I was kidnapped
in infancy by a gypsy moth.
ALL: How sad!
OLD BOOKWORM: I have been very lonely. It is true that the
crickets and centipedes have been kind to me, but all my life I
have wished for die companionship of my own people. That is
why I am so happy to welcome you. There is nothing I would
rather see than a thriving community of bookworms on this old
bookshelf.
ALL : Then we are happy, too. (They fie by the OLD BOOKWORM,
and one by one, shake his hand, then form group on opposite
side of bookshelf.)
OLD BOOKWORM: But now tell me how you were driven from
your homes.
4TH: It was a dreadful disaster that happened to us. Perhaps
you do not know, but the household below is a dangerous world
for insects to live in. There is constant danger from vacuum
cleaners, dusters., mops and spray-guns.
OLD BOOKWORM: How horrible!
STH: Yes, many of our people have been wiped out by such
weapons. But we thought we were safe. We lived in an old box
of stationery which belonged to the cook of the household.
ALL (Sadly) : An old box of stationery — it was our happy home.
6rn : Always we have lived there, at peace with the world, and
bothering no one.
OLD BOOKWORM : Then what was the great disaster which came
upon you?
7iH : The cook decided to write a letter.
OLD BOOKWORM : Oh, no I
STH : Yes, she did. And we hadn't ever done a thing to her.
OLD BOOKWORM : Well, my friends, it is safe up here in the attic.
These old books have long been forgotten. The children who
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 441
once owned and read them have grown into men and women and
gone into the big world. You may settle here in security, and
live a life of peace.
ALL: Hooray!
OLD BOOKWORM : Let us hastily organize the colony, so that you
may send for your families. I am very anxious for them to
arrive.
IST: So are we. But first we have to eat
ALL: Yes, let's eat (They start for books,)
OLD BOOKWORM: Wait! (They stop.) I shall be very happy to
prepare a lunch for you.
2ND: Oh, that's not necessary. Here are many big books. We'll
just help ourselves.
OLD BOOKWORM : Oh, 1*0! You mustn't do that!
3RD: Why not?
OLD BOOKWORM: If you have always lived in a box of blank
stationery, you are accustomed to a very plain diet. There is
some rich fare in these books. It is all wholesome, of course,
but too much of one thing is apt to upset you.
4TH : Oh, that's foolishness.
ALL: That's foolishness.
OLD BOOKWORM : I assure you, it is not foolishness. I have lived
here all my life, and I know.
STH : We're perfectly able to choose for ourselves.
ALL: Yes, we're perfectly able to choose for ourselves.
OLD BOOKWORM ( Worried) : If you won't let me help you choose
your food, at least let us have the meeting and organize the
colony before you eat
6xH : Oh, no. We are too hungry.
7rn: It win take us only a few moments to eat; then we will
organize the colony.
STH : Anyway, the meeting won't amount to mucri, because we are
all agreed on our future. We always agree on everything.
ALL: We always agree on everything.
IST : And after we have eaten, we will be better able to make plans.
OLD BOOKWORM (Solemnly) : I doubt that I seriously dotAt it
I warn you, you are doing this against my advice.
2ND: We will see you in a little bit Let's eat
ALL: Let's eat! (They duck into the books, through little flaps at
bottom of each book. Seven BOOKWORMS go into the first seven
442 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
books, leaving only Arithmetic unoccupied. One YOUNG BOOK-
WORM lingers behind.)
YOUNG BOOKWORM (Who has remained, pulling scrap of blank
paper from his pocket) : I still have a bit of stationery left We
brought some to eat on the way. I'll finish this first, and then
try one of the books. (He sits and commences eating*)
OLD BOOKWORM (Absently) : Suit yourself. (He paces the floor,
shaking head anxiously.) I'm afraid there is going to be trouble.
YOUNG BOOKWORM (Between bites) : Why do you worry so?
OLD BOOKWORM : Your families are waiting in a dangerous place.
Think what a serious matter it will be if they do not soon hear
from you.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : We'll send a message right away. Everything
is going to be all right, now that we have found food.
OLD BOOKWORM: I don't know. Maybe everything will be all
wrong.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : Don't you think you're making too much of
this? We can digest your big books!
OLD BOOKWORM : Oh, I'm sure you can digest them all right Too
well, probably. But you should have let me choose a balanced
diet for you. Too much of one thing is bad — very badL
YOUNG BOOKWORM : Do you really believe there is a difference in
books? A book is a book!
OLD BOOKWORM: Oh, no, my young friend. Too many people
think that, but it is not so.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : All right, then tell me which of those is the
best one. I will sample it pretty soon,
Ou> BOOKWORM : WeH, now, I cannot say that any one of them
is best They are all very good. There is the Encyclopedia —
I am very fond of that Especially at dinner time. It is a little
heavy for breakfast. I like something lighter at breakfast: this
book of Fairy Tales, for instance. Here's American History —
that's very good! Etiquette — King Arthur and His Knights
— Book of Poems — Travel Stories — Arithmetic — they are
all very good books. I would advise you to try some of each,
for you will enjoy them alL Besides, it will likely save you a lot
of trouble.
YOUNG BOOKWORM: You have your mind set on trouble, haven't
you? Wait till my friends come out of the books, and you'll see
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 443
your worries were for nothing. They'll be just the same as
they were before.
OLD BOOKWORM : That, my young friend, is impossible.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : Look — here comes one now.
OLD BOOKWORM : Yes, out of the book of Etiquette. We shall see,
now. We shall see! (GiRL BOOKWORM comes out of book of
Etiquette. She carries a lorgnette, which she peers through in a
very affected manner. She trains the lorgnette on the two book-
worms, and stares haughtily at them.)
YOUNG BOOKWORM : For goodness' sake !
OLD BOOKWORM (Groaning) : It is just as I feared!
Miss ETIQUETTE (We will call her this from now on to distin-
guish her from the others) : How do you do? (In gushing voice)
I'm so very happy to see you again! (She extends her hand,
raised high to the OLD BOOKWORM, who resignedly shakes it.)
I hope you are in good health?
YOUNG BOOKWORM : My goodness!
Miss ETIQUETTE : (Walking toward YOUNG BOOKWORM, and using
lorgnette) : I beg your pardon for intruding, but why don't you
rise when a lady enters the room?
YOUNG BOOKWORM: What for? (Reluctantly gets up. Happens
to glance at books.) Oh, look ! Someone else is coming out !
OLD BOOKWORM : Yes, from the Book of Fairy Tales. (The book
of Fairy Tales opens and out comes another GIRL BOOKWORM.
She wears a Red Riding Hood cape and carries a basket.)
YOUNG BOOKWORM: For goodness' sake!
RED RIDING HOOD: Just see the nice cake I am taking to Grand-
mother! (Lifts napkin in basket.) Which is the way to Grand-
mother's house? That way? (Hippety-hops gaily across stage
to left, singing loudly, and looks out.) Or that way? (Hippety-
hops right, and looks off stage.)
Miss ETIQUETTE: Please stop that giddy skipping, child. Don't
you know children should be seen and not heard? Come here
and curtsy to me.
RED RIDING HOOD: Why?
Miss ETIQUETTE : Little girls should always curtsy to ladies. And
I am a lady-bug. (The Encyclopedia opens and out conies a
BOY BOOKWORM, wearing an academic cap and horn-rimmed
spectacles. We wiU call him MSL WISE.)
MR. WISE (Impressively) : A photo-heliograph is an instrument
for photographing the sun.
444 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
RED RIDING HOOD (Giggles) : Who cares?
Miss ETIQUETTE: My dear child, that is very rude.
RED RIDING HOOD (Hippety-hops across stage to MR. WISE) :
See my nice cake for Grandmother?
MR. WISE (Looking at cake) : It is manifestly a culinary achieve-
ment
RED RIDING HOOD: Oh, no, it's a cake! ( OLD BOOKWORM is shak-
ing his head in dismay. The occupant of the Book of Poems
now comes out. He is dreamy in manner; gases into space and
gestures gracefully.)
POET:
What a lovely, pretty thing
Are bunnies blooming in the spring!
YOUNG BOOKWORM ; My goodness! . . . What are bunnies?
POET (Airily) : I don't know.
MR. WISE (Sternly) : "Bunny" is a pet name for rabbit, a bur-
rowing rodent But bunnies do not bloom, in the spring or any
other time. Your talk does not make sense.
POET: Well, anyway, it rhymes.
RED RIDING HOOD: Yes, and I like it (She skips over to POET.)
Say it again.
POET ( With gestures) :
What a lovely, pretty thing
Are bunnies blooming in the spring.
MR. WISE: I do*** like it
Miss ETIQUETTE: I do not wish to be overly critical, but I don't
like it, either.
RED RIDING HOOD: I like it (To POET) Say it again.
MR. WISE: No, don't say it again.
OLD BOOKWORM: Wait Let's not have an aigument
Miss ETIQUETTE: No, arguments are very rude.
RED RIDING HOOD: Look, here comes somebody else. (Boy BOOK-
WORM comes from American History book. He wears a three-
sided colonial hat, and carries a small hatchet.)
HISTORIAN: Then George said, "Father, I cannot tell a lie!"
YOUNG BOOKWORM: For goodness' sake!
HISTORIAN (Going toward RED RIDING HOOD) : "I did it with my
little hatchet!" (He raises hatchet to illustrate. RED RIDING
HOOD shrieks and scurries across stage.)
RED RIDING HOOD: Ooooh! He must be an ogre! I'm afraid!
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 445
(Hides face in hands. From the book of King Arthur and His
Knights steps a BOY BOOKWORM, wearing armored helmet and a
girdle with sword. He sees RED RIDING HOOD.)
KNIGHT: Forsooth! A damsel in distress! (Draws sword; strides
to her.) Fair damsel, tell me wherefore thou makest this sorrow,
and, by my faith, will I avenge thee!
RED RIDING HOOD (Pointing at HISTORIAN) : An ogre!
KNIGHT (Striding toward HISTORIAN) : If thou hast in truth dis-
tressed that damsel, make ready to defend thyself!
HISTORIAN (Brandishing hatchet) : Defend your own self ! As
John Paul Jones said, "I have not yet begun to fight !"
MR. WISE: Such unwarranted belligerency is incomprehensible!
POET (Shaking finger at KNIGHT and HISTORIAN) :
An angry look or wrathful word
Is better never seen or heard!
(The Travel Stories book opens and out comes its occupant. He
wears a hat and carries a suitcase.)
TRAVELER (Sets suitcase down and clasps hands in rapture) : Ah !
The Alps of Switzerland! The fjords of Norway! The pyra-
mids of Egypt! The Great Wall of China! The Canals of
Venice!
Miss ETIQUETTE : Please remove your hat in the presence of ladies.
TRAVELER (Takes off hat and gazes thoughtfully at it) : In India
the men wear turbans. In Mexico, they wear sombreros. A
Turkish man wears a fez, and a Scotchman, a tam-o'-shanter.
(Puts hat back on head.)
RED RIDING HOOD: My grandmother wears a lace cap.
POET:
It isn't your hat, nor the name of your hatter ;
But what's in the head underneath which doth matter!
MR. WISE (To POET) : For once I am in total accordance with
your sentiment.
OLD BOOKWORM: My friends, it troubles me greatly to see you
carry on in this manner.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : Me, too ! I don't know what's got into all of
you. I think 111 leave. I'm going to eat, now.
RED RIDING HOOD: Then do try some Fairy Tales. You'll love
them.
Miss ETIQUETTE: If you will allow me to suggest, try a bit of
Etiquette.
446 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
TRAVELER: Oh, no. Try a little travel.
HISTORIAN : I say you will do better to go into the History of th<
United States. As Daniel Webster said, "I was born an Ameri
can, I live an American, and I shall die an American."
KNIGHT: If thou wilt take thy repast at the Round Table of Kinj
Arthur, thou wilt surely find it to thy liking.
MR. WISE: I feel confident that you will appreciate the super-
lative quality of the aU-inclusive Encyclopedia.
POET:
You cannot do better; you'll likely do worse
To choose anything but a volume of verse.
YOUNG BOOKWORM: No, I don't want to be like any of you.
There's a book at the end that none of you tried — I think I'll
sample that. (Squints up at book.) What's the name of it?
OLD BOOKWORM: That's Arithmetic, my boy. It's a good book
— pretty solid stuff, of course, but wholesome and beneficial
It can't possibly hurt yotu But hurry back because we must
have our meeting.
YOUNG BOOKWORM : Yes, we must have it right away. You start
it now, and I'll be right back and help you. (Goes into Arith-
metic book.)
OLD BOOKWORM : The meeting will come to order. Please sit in a
group over there. (The seven BOOKWORMS sit in group.) My
friends, I do not have any desire to exercise authority over you,
but I am taking it upon myself to call this meeting and to pre-
side until you have elected your government. I am very anxious
for you to establish your colony, for I shall not rest until your
families are here, safely settled in their new homes.
POET:
Though one may gad the whole world round,
Home is the best place ever found.
TRAVELER: Home! Ah, to an Eskimo home means an igloo. To
an Indian, it is a wigwam. But a Swiss mountaineer, thinking
of home, fondly pictures a rock cabin.
Miss ETIQUETTE : Yes, indeed, we must have immediate considera-
tion for our dear families.
KNIGHT (Jumps up) : By my faith, we must tarry not, but make
haste to deliver that noble company.
HISTORIAN (Rising) : As Patrick Henry said, "Why stand we
here idle?"
HUBBUB OX THE BOOKSHELF 447
RED RIDING HOOD: We must hurry, because I don't want anything
to happen to my dear grandma.
MR. WISE: We must employ all expedition.
OLD BOOKWORM : I am glad you ail agree. Let us quickly form a
government
MR. WISE: A government is an established system of administra-
tion of public affairs.
OLD BOOKWORM : Yes. What kind of a government do you want?
RED RIDING HOOD: I think it would be nice to have a lovely queen,
as the fairies do.
KNIGHT: Or perchance a noble king, like good King Arthur.
MR. WISE: That is a monarchy.
POET (Rising) :
For me, I don't see any call
To have a government at all.
Let's be as free as little breezes :
Everyone do as he pleases.
MR. WISE: That is anarchy.
HISTORIAN : As Abraham Lincoln said, I am for government of
the people, by the people, for the people.
MR. WISE: That is democracy.
OLD BOOKWORM (Anxiously) : Perhaps we can better decide
upon a form of government if we first decide what we wish it
to do for us.
Miss ETIQUETTE : I think the chief purpose of our colony should
be to teach everyone good manners,
KNIGHT : I fain would have a goodly company of brave knights,
to protect ladies and young damsels, and to slay all dragons,
serpents and giants in the countryside.
TRAVELER : I think it would be jolly to live in tree houses as the
South Sea Islanders do, have ice-skating matches like those in
Holland, and to ride on elephants as people do in India.
MR. WISE: My opinion is that we should devote ourselves pro-
foundly to the acquisition of knowledge.
RED RIDING HOOD: I think every one of us should have a pair
of seven league boots, a goose that lays golden eggs, and a fairy
godmother.
POET:
Such magic gifts might prove a curse.
But I think we should have free verse.
448 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
HISTORIAN: I say our only objective should be independence.
Let's have a Boston Tea Party, and throw tea in the ocean.
MR. WISE: That is a ridiculous idea.
HISTORIAN (Brandishing hatchet) : Oh, is that so ? It was good
enough for George Washington, and, as Colonel Henry Lee
said, George Washington was "first in war, first in peace, and
first in the hearts of his countrymen." That's the way the
United States began. Why shouldn't we start out in the same
way?
MR. WISE: In the first place, we haven't any tea. In the second
place, we haven't any ocean.
RED RIDING HOOD: My grandma loves tea.
TRAVELER: Yes, and the poor people of Asia work very hard
picking tea leaves and sending them over here. It would be a
shame to throw away the product of their labor.
HISTORIAN: People of Asia! Hmf ! You'd better stop your gad-
ding about, and take some interest in the people of the United
States.
MR. WISE (To HISTORIAN): Yes, and you'd better travel up
through your history book about a century and three-quarters,
and find out what the people of the United States do nowadays.
They don't throw tea away now.
Miss ETIQUETTE (To MR. WISE) : No, but they do try to have a
few manners — at least cultured people do — and they don't
deliberately make insulting remarks.
MR. WISE: My dear lady, let me point out* that individuals who
have really good manners don't display them incessantly.
Miss ETIQUETTE: Why, the ideal The very idea! I've never
heard such rudeness! Oh, I've never been so insulted in my
life!
KNIGHT (Drawing sword and going toward MR. WISE) : Fie on
thee! Why dost thou besiege this lady?
MR. WISE: Now, now, Mr. Knight! Melodrama is uncalled for.
KNIGHT: Say what ye list, I care not, but do not besiege this lady
or I will smite off thy head.
Miss ETIQUETTE: Oh, don't you think that would be going a little
too far? It wouldn't be polite.
RED RIDING HOOD: No, it wouldn't be polite at all. He acts as
bad as an ogre. I don't think we ought to have a company of
knights in our colony. If they all ran around acting like he
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 449
does, it would scare me to death. They would be worse than
a wolf.
POET:
Yes, his noise distracts my mind so much,
I cannot think of rhymes — of rhymes — of rhymes — of —
oh, dear!
Just see what he's done! I cannot make rhymes any more!
TRAVELER: That's something to be thankful for!
POET:
Oh, is that so?
I suppose you think you're awfully smart,
Because you can't appreciate art!
TRAVELER: Oh, I appreciate art, all right! Take Shakespeare, for
instance — he lived in England, you know, at Stratford-On-
Avon. I love art. But I don't care for your rhymes.
OLD BOOKWORM: Please, please! Don't waste your time in idle
bickering. Let us concentrate on forming our colony. We must
agree or we are lost ! Won't you try to unite ?
Miss ETIQUETTE : Really, I don't see how you can expect anyone
to get along with persons who are so uncouth !
MR. WISE : And so ignorant !
TRAVELER : So narrow !
POET: So prosaic!
HISTORIAN: So unpatriotic!
KNIGHT : So lacking in gallantry !
OLD BOOKWORM (In despair) : Isn't there anything that will per-
suade you to cooperate ?
Miss ETIQUETTE (Nose in air) : I don't seem to feel very co-
operative.
MR. WISE: Nor do I.
TRAVELER : Nor I.
POET: Nor L
HISTORIAN : Nor I.
KNIGHT: Nor I.
RED RIDING HOOD : Nor I.
OLD BOOKWORM : It is just as I feared from the first! Our hopes
are lost! (He sinks down, overcome with grief, and puts his
head in his hands.)
RED RIDING HOOD (Pointing at Arithmetic book) : Look! He's
coming out.
450 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
OLD BOOKWORM (Shaking head) : He is a nice young bookworm,
and Arithmetic is sound, substantial stuff, but I fear nothing
can help us now.
YOUNG BOOKWORM (Steps out of Arithmetic. He has an old hat
pulled low over his eyes, and a dark handkerchief tied over nose
and mouth. He is pointing a gun — an insect spray-gun —
at the group) : Stick 'em up ! (All stand stupidly and stare at
him in amazement.) Stick 'em up, or I'll shoot! Reach for the
skies, and make it snappy! (Everyone slowly raises arms.)
That's better. (He pulls handkerchief from nose and mouth.
Sternly) Now, what's going on here?
OLD BOOKWORM: Why, our meeting! Have you forgotten? Our
meeting to form a government!
GANGSTER (Laughing harshly) : Oh, yes, the meeting. But don't
bother about forming a government — I'm your government
from now on. All you have to do is just what I tell you.
POET:
What strange caprice, what ugly whim,
What madness has got into him?
OLD BOOKWORM: I can't imagine! I always had the highest re-
gard for Arithmetic. I can't see how it could have affected him
this way.
RED RJDTNG HOOD: Maybe he has been enchanted by a wicked
witch!
KNIGHT: Truly must there be a loathly dragon within that book!
Miss ETIQUETTE: It sounds to me like plain, everyday selfishness !
MR. WISE: It is undoubtedly caused by lack of learning.
GANGSTER: Silence! Ill have no more of that chatter!
OLD BOOKWORM : My boy, why do you act this way?
GANGSTER: Silence, I said! Obey when I tell you something!
From now on you are all my slaves ! (All gasp.)
MR. WISE: This is incomprehensible!
HISTORIAN (Angrily) : Say! Don't you know what the Constitu-
tion of the United States says? Amendment Thirteen says:
There shall be no slavery within the United States.
KNIGHT: I, for one, will never pay thee tribute 1
TRAVELER: You ought to see what's happened in Europe and Asia
because of a few gangsters like you.
Miss ETIQUETTE: If you want me to do anything1, you'll have to
say "please!"
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 451
RED RIDING HOOD: If you start telling me what to do, I'll scream
for some woodcutters!
POET:
I wished to be a little breeze,
Free to do just what I please.
But you — false-hearted desperado —
You want to be a big tornado !
HISTORIAN: As Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give
me death!"
KNIGHT (Brandishing sword) : Let us encounter him!
GANGSTER (Sneering) : You don't dare ! One shot of this gun and
you'll be goners.
KNIGHT: Thou boasteth greatly, and speaketh proud words, but
I fear not! I will fight thee to the utmost! (Advances.)
MR. WISE: No; stop! Your courage is inspiring, but a sword
hasn't a chance against a gun.
RED RIDING HOOD : Please don't, Sir Knight, You might get hurt.
TRAVELER: One of us hasn't any chance alone. We must form
a plan.
HISTORIAN : Yes, as Benjamin Franklin said, "We must all hang
together, or we will hang separately."
MR. WISE: Let us — excuse my slang, won't you? — let us go
into a huddle. (All seven put their heads together and whisper,
while the OLD BOOKWORM and the GANGSTER watch.)
GANGSTER: Pooh! As if you could think of anything!
OLD BOOKWORM (Sorrowfully) : My boy, I cannot understand
what has caused this terrible change in you. Surely Arithmetic
could not have done it. It is a dreadful mystery.
GANGSTER: Silence! (The huddle breaks up, with the seven nod-
ding at one another.)
TRAVELER (To GANGSTER, in discouraged voice): Well, Mr.
Gangster, I guess you've got us.
GANGSTER : Of course I've got you ! No doubt about that.
MR. WISE: Defeat is very humiliating, but (Shrugs) what can
we do?
GANGSTER : Nothing — I told you that !
POET (Very humbly) :
Since I'm obliged to be your slave,
I'll try my hardest to behave.
452 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
GANGSTER: If you don't, it'll be too bad for you Well! I'm
glad you all had sense enough to give up. (All nod, sadly.)
RED RIDING HOOD: Oh, yoo-hoo, Grandma! Come right in! (She
waves happily at someone apparently behind the gangster. The
GANGSTER whirls around to see who is behind him, and in a
twinkling the seven other BOOKWORMS are upon him. The gun
is knocked from his hand, and the POET gleefully picks it up.)
POET (Points gun at GANGSTER) :
You should have thought a little faster;
Now who's the slave, and who's the master?
(The GANGSTER cowers.)
HISTORIAN (Exultantly) : As Commodore Perry said, "We have
met the enemy and he is ours !"
MR, WISE: Yes, he's ours, all right But now, what are we going
to do with him?
Miss ETIQUETTE: He should be made to apologize to each of us!
RED RIDING HOOD: I think he ought to be turned into a donkey
and be forced to pull a heavy load for a year and a day.
TRAVELER: He should be exiled to Siberia or Iceland or the Sa-
hara Desert.
HISTORIAN : I would have him confined in stocks.
KNIGHT: Right willingly would I smite off his head.
OLD BOOKWORM : Wait — please wait a few moments before you
choose a punishment for him. I cannot understand how this
could have happened. Let me go into the Arithmetic book and
see if I can find any clue to this mystery. (He goes into Arith-
metic book.)
MR. WISE: All right, we'll wait a little while, but eventually this
hoodlum is going to get what's coming to him.
HISTORIAN: Absolutely! As Calvin Coolidge said, "There is no
right to strike against the public safety by anybody, anywhere,
anytime/'
POET:
He must be convinced, and without much delay,
What all hoodlums learn : that crime does not pay !
TRAVELER: Just see him tremble! A bully is always a coward at
heart.
RED RIDING HOOD : And he used to be a real nice fellow.
KNIGHT: Yea, he was of noble and gentle nature.
HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF 453
Miss ETIQUETTE: It certainly is peculiar how he changed, isn't
it? I cannot imagine what caused it.
MR. WISE : Xo, I am anxious to find out.
. Ou> BOOKWORM (Coming out) : All my life I have lived here, and
never before have I discovered that! It is astounding!
ALL: What's astounding?
OLD BOOKWORM: It is astounding! Do you know, some mis-
chievous youngster who once owned that Arithmetic book hid
a volume of Trashy Stories in the middle of it !
ALL: Oh, Oh, Oh!
OLD BOOKWORM (To GANGSTER) : That was what you ate, wasn't
it?
GANGSTER (Sullenly): Well, what if it was?
OLD BOOKWORM (To others) : He happened to get into the very
worst part, and he has obviously swallowed every word of it !
ALL: Oh, oh, oh!
OLD BOOKWORM (To GANGSTER) : Didn't you?
GANGSTER: Is it any of your business?
OLD BOOKWORM : Poor boy ! He probably has bad indigestion. (In
kindly voice) Tell me, my boy, does your stomach hurt?
GANGSTER (Suddenly breaking down and moaning, and holding
hands on stomach): Oh, yes, it does! It hurts awfully!
Owoooooh !
Miss ETIQUETTE : Xo wonder, after filling up on trash !
GANGSTER : Owooooh ! My stomach ! Owooooooh !
RED RIDING HOOD: The poor fellow! What can we do for him?
MR. WISE : He needs something to counteract the poison.
TRAVELER: Maybe a little poetry would be good for him. It is
soothing.
ALL: Oh, yes, a little poetry!
RED RIDING HOOD: And a little travel. It improves one's taste.
ALL: Oh, yes, a little travel!
HISTORIAN : A bit of King Arthur's Knights would be invigor-
ating.
ALL: Oh, yes, a bit of King Arthur!
MR. WISE: A little etiquette would be beneficial.
ALL: Oh, yes, a little etiquette. (The OLD BOOKWORH is smiling
and nodding approval.)
POET:
Let me suggest that, the way things look,
He needs a little of every book.
454 HUBBUB ON THE BOOKSHELF
ALL : Yes, a little of every book !
OLD BOOKWORM : I believe you have found the right solution.
Miss ETIQUETTE: Come on, you would-be gangster. We will soon
make a good citizen of you. You may begin on the Encyclopedia.
(GANGSTER, still holding stomach, and doubled over, goes into
Encyclopedia.) And it might be a good idea if we all vary our
diet a bit.
ALL: It would be a good idea!
OLD BOOKWORM: Now I know that you will have no trouble
forming a successful colony.
MR. WISE : No, let's do that right away. And our first official act
must be to put a danger sign on that Trashy Stories book. It is
very dangerous.
ALL (Shaking heads solemnly) : It is very dangerous.
OLD BOOKWORM : Have you decided what kind of a government
you want?
ALL (Loudly) : A democracy !
OLD BOOKWORM : Very well. (Raps.) The meeting will come to
order, and the first business will be election of officers.
THE END
BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE
by Lucille Streacker
Characters
BOB
JIMMIE
BILL
SOLDIER
MUNITIONS
Ho LING
PETER
LOVE
FOUR FREEDOMS
GROUP OF LITTLE GIRLS
SETTING: A playground.
AT RISE: BOB, JIMMIE (the smallest), and BILL are playing ball.
In the background is a park bench 'with a partially used can of
paint and a brush. Several papers are lying about.
BOB : Say, fellows, today is Armistice Day ! Let's have a parade.
BILL: Okay by me, Bob.
JIMMIE: What is Armistice Day?
BOB : Aw, Jimmie, you know what Armistice Day is. It's the day
we celebrate the end of the first world war and it's a specially
good day to think about peace and how we can fix it so there
won't ever be any more wars. Dad says we are the future cit-
izens of the world and it's up to us to keep the peace.
BILL: That's silly. My dad says there will always be wars.
BOB : I don't see why there should be, Bill, if the boys and girls
all over the world are taught to hate war and grow up feeling
that way. They could put their heads together and solve quarrels
without fighting.
JIMMIE : I tell you what, let's make a banner to head our parade
and put "No More War" on it. That will show everybody in
town how we feel and maybe they'll join the parade.
455
456 BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE
BOB: That's a swell idea! (They rush to the paint and hastily
make a sign. JZMMIE finds the paper and BOB makes the letters
while BILL fastens it to a stick. As they finish the SOLDIER
enters.)
SOLDIER: Did I hear something about a parade?
JIMMIE: Yes. We're going to have an Armistice parade for no
more wars. You can be in it, too, if you want to.
SOLDIER : Indeed, I'll be in it I'll represent the armed services. You
young fellows are on the right track. I don't want to see you go
through what I did, and believe me if there is ever another war
it will be a hundred times worse than the last.
BILL: The idea may be all right but I say it won't work. Why,
look! Right here in town there'll be a baby war when the kids
who aren't in the parade see us.
BOB: You mean Ho Ling, Peter and all those other kids in the
foreign settlement?
BILL : Sure. They're always looking for something to get steamed
up about.
JIMMIE: Why couldn't we ask them to be in the parade? Then
they'd be as keen about it as we are.
SOLDIER (Patting him on the back) : Say, half-pint, you're a ge-
nius. You're going to make a grand citizen to sit at the peace
table someday. (Foreign children representing several countries
enter with Chinese Ho LING and Russian PETER. They are bel-
ligerent.)
PETER: Didn't we hear you guys talking about us?
BOB: Sure we were. We were just talking about asking you to
join our parade. It's an Armistice parade to show the world that
as future citizens we don't intend to ever have any more wars.
Ho LING : Very good plan. Chinese like peace.
PETER : I, too, join your parade.
OTHER CHILDREN : We, too.
BOB: That's great! I think every country will be represented in
our parade for peace. (Girls troop in.)
GIRLS : We want to be in the parade, too.
BILL: Aw, g'way. Girls haven't any business in such things.
BOB: Sure they have! Haven't they, soldier?
SOLDIER: You bet. The women have always helped in war or
peace. And they are the future mothers who must know all
about peace so they can teach it to their children, (Enter MUNI-
BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE 457
TIONS, a mechanical monster, rattling and terrible looking.)
MUNITIONS: Well, I'm not going to be in your old parade but
I'm going to stick around whether you like it or not. (AU the
children cower back in fright.)
JIMMIE (In a quavering voice) : W-who are you anyway?
MUNITIONS : I'm Munitions, heavy armaments, artillery, and such,
guns, tanks, bombs and machinery of war. (Swaggering) I've
got loads of cash, see. (Pulls out of his pockets rolls of money
and coin.) I'll have a parade of my own. Anyone that joins my
parade can have anything he wants.
BILL : See. I told you it was silly to think about there not being
any more wars. Especially with that fellow around.
MUNITIONS : Sure. And science is busy all the time inventing more
powerful, more deadly ways of fighting wars. Someday I will
be so strong that if you don't do what I and my buddies want
you to, poof, just like that 111 blow you right off the map and
you can't do a thing about it
GIRLS (Shuddering and huddling together) : Oh dear, we don't
want such a fellow around ; we are afraid.
MUNITIONS : Sure you're afraid. And you have a right to be. It
would pay all of you to be on my side.
BILL: I will...
BOB: Bill, how could you? (Turns to the others.) But you can see
that's all the more reason our parade for peace just has to work.
We'll all have to stick together and keep our pledge of no more
war so this terrible gangster can't get enough on his side to
hurt any of us.
MUNITIONS: Don't worry, pie face, there'll be plenty tagging
along after me when they get hungry or mad. And in some
countries the people become slaves of their own governments
and are glad to become my pal to get even. Oh there's all kinds
of reasons why most people turn to me sooner or later.
SOLDIER : He speaks the truth. As long as people are starving and
unhappy with cruel governments they will listen to that fellow.
That is the beginning of wars.
ALL: Isn't there something we can do? (Enter LOVE and the
FOUR FREEDOMS carrying a rope.)
LOVE : Yes, and we're going to do it. Catch that criminal !
MUNITIONS {Dashing for an exit as the FOUR FREEDOMS start
after him) : Oh, no you don't !
458 BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE
FOUR FREEDOMS: Oh, yes we are. (They catch him and after a
scuffle tie him securely.)
FREEDOM FROM FEAR : We will lock this fellow up and he will do
you no more damage if you will just keep us on guard and see
that we are allowed to live peacefully in every land, on every
street and in every home. This is Love. Put love in every heart,
love for friends and neighbors and even strangers, whatever
their race or creed, and half the job is done. The rest of us are
the Four Freedoms necessary for peace. I am freedom from
fear, fear of persecution, aggression and all the other fears that
make people start wars. I will let the others speak for them-
selves.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH : I am freedom of speech. Without the priv-
ilege of every man speaking his own mind and pleading his own
cause there could never be any hope of lasting peace.
FREEDOM OF WORSHIP; I am freedom of worship. Wars have
been fought for centuries over religion. It is high time people
realized that each man has a right to worship in his own way
and I guarantee that right so there will be no more wars over
religion.
FREEDOM FROM WANT: I am freedom from want. A prosperous
nation is a happy nation. Give every land an abundance of good
living for all its citizens and it will not go to war for the things
it needs. It will be well fed and contented.
BOB (Turning to his followers) : What do you say fellows? (All
wave their hands and cry, Hurrah! Hurrah!)
JIMMIE: Love and the Four Freedoms can head our parade.
BILL (He has been standing forlornly aside.) : I want to be in the
parade, too, Bob. I'm sorry I was a deserter. I'm still keeping
my fingers crossed but you can be sure I'll do my best to keep
the world safe from war.
BOB : That's really all any of us can do, Bill, and we're glad you
are with us.
SOLDIER: What a swell Armistice Day this, is, the birthday of a
new organization, the future citizens of the world pledged to
eternal peace! (The parade gets quickly in line, LOVE leading
followed by the FOUR FREEDOMS, then the SOLDIER, JIMMIE
carrying the banner, the foreign children, the girls followed by
BILL and BOB. MUNITIONS is still lying on the floor trussed.)
BOB (Waxes his hand): Okay, fellows, lead off! (And the
BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE 459
parade marches around the room singing to the tune of Tramp!
Tramp! Tramp!)
We have pledged to keep the peace,
It's the goal of every land
And a gift of freedom for the years to be.
And we place our faith in love
As we make united stand
In the cause of peace that shines eternally.
Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! We are parading!
We, the children of today!
And we hope to build a world
Where there's work and joy for all
And the dove of peace will fold its wings and stay.
THE END
IXL SHARE MY FAJIE
by Helen Littler Hozwtrd
Characters
FARMER
BUTCHER
STOREKEEPER
BAKER
BASKETWEAVER
GLORIA, her little girl
SETTING: Marketplace. There ore three booths.
TIME: Day before Thanksgiving.
AT RISE : The BUTCHER, the STOREKEEPER and the BAKER are in
their booths quietly arranging their wares. The FARMER comes
riding in on a hobbyhorse carrying a bos/set. He comes from
the left side of the stage, rides once around and pauses near the
BUTCHER'S booth.
FARMER:
God is good.
He gave me food.
I'll share my fare
In gratitude.
(Trots his pony up to BUTCHER'S booth.)
Good day, Butcher.
BUTCHER: Good day, friend Farmer. What tiave you in your
basket?
FARMER : I've had a fine year. I have more than enough food for
my family and my animals for the winter. So I've brought you
a turkey for your Thanksgiving dinner.
God is good.
He gave me food,
I'll share my fare
In gratitude.
(Gives BUTCHER the turkey in basket)
460
f LL SHARE MY FARE 461
BUTCHER (Looks in basket) : Oh, what a fine turkey! A Thanks-
giving feast for my family. Thank you, friend Farmer.
FARMER : You are welcome. Happy Thanksgiving to you. (Rides
away.)
BUTCHER: How thankful I am to have this fine turkey! I'll share
my good fortune with my friend the Storekeeper. I'll give him
the goose I was going to have for Thanksgiving. (He puts
goose in the basket and takes it to the STOREKEEPER'S booth.)
Good day, friend Storekeeper.
STOREKEEPER: Good day, friend Butcher.
BUTCHER: I've just had good fortune. My friend the Farmer just
brought me a fine fat turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner. So
I've brought you the goose I was going to have.
The Farmer is good.
He gave me food.
I'll share my fare
In gratitude.
(The BUTCHER gives the STOREKEEPER the basket.)
STOREKEEPER (Looking in basket) : Oh, thank you. What a fine
Thanksgiving dinner this goose will make. (BUTCHER goes back
to his booth.)
STOREKEEPER: Xow that I have this fine fat goose for our
Thanksgiving dinner I'll take my friend the Baker this chicken
for his dinner. (Puts chicken in basket and goes to BAKER'S
booth) Good day, friend Baker.
BAKER : Good day to you, friend Storekeeper.
STOREKEEPER : My neighbor, the Butcher, just brought me a fine,
fat goose for Thanksgiving. So I thought I'd bring you this
chicken for your dinner.
The Butcher is good.
He gave me food.
I'll share my fare
In gratitude.
(Gives BAKER the basket.)
BAKER: Oh, thank you! I'm so glad to have a chicken for my
family for Thanksgiving. (STOREKEEPER goes back to his booth.
Enter THE BASKETWEAVER and GLORIA.)
BAKER: Here comes my friend the Basketweaver with her little
girl. I'll just put this meat pie I had made for our Thanks-
giving dinner into this basket and give it to them.
462 I'LL SHARE MY FARE
BASKET-WEAVER: Good day, friend Baker.
BAKER: Good day. I made this meat pie for our Thanksgiving
dinner, but my friend, the Storekeeper, gave me a plump chick-
en. Would you like to have this meat pie for yourselves ?
The Storekeeper is good.
He gave me food.
Ill share my fare
In gratitude.
BASKETWEAVER (Taking basket) : Oh, thank you very much. How
glad I am to have a fine meat pie to share with my little girl for
Thanksgiving.
BASKET WEAVER and GLORIA:
The Baker is good.
He gave us food.
We'll share our fare
In gratitude.
(BASKETWEAVER and GLORIA go off stage carrying the basket
happily between them.)
THE END
THANKS TO SAMMY SCARECROW
by Helen Littler Howard
Characters
SAMMY SCARECROW
MABI ELLEN
SANDY SQUIRREL
WALLY
TIME: Thanksgiving Day.
SETTING: In a corn field.
AT RISE : On left stage center is SAMMY SCARECROW. He is quite
dilapidated and hangs on to crossed sticks in a haphazard way.
SANDY SQUIRREL is scurrying about the corn shock.
SAMMY (Sadly) :
Today is Thanksgiving,
But what need of living,
The crows have all flown away.
No more come they thieving,
And I am left grieving,
I'm useless this Thanksgiving Day.
That's a bit of poetry I made up. I have time for all sorts of
thinking since I'm not looking after the corn any longer. This
is a sad Thanksgiving Day for me. Nothing to be thankful for,
I say. Nobody cares about a scarecrow when the corn is safely
shocked. When one isn't busy doing something useful he can't
be thankful
SANDY (Comes to SCARECROW) : You're useful to me, old Sammy I
SAMMY : You're a thief, Sandy, and I don't call it being useful to
help you in your stealing. I want to protect, not to harm.
SANDY: You won't tell on me, will you, Sammy? You can't be-
463
464 THANKS TO SAMMY SCARECROW
cause it's against the rules to talk when anybody is near. I'm
sorry for you, Sammy. You do look a bit worse for the wear.
But I can't stay and talk. My Thanksgiving dinner is ready.
I'll be back for dessert. (Frisks off stage right.)
SAMMY: Oh hum! I suppose I may as well take another nap.
(Pretends to go to sleep. Enter WALLY and MARI ELLEN, who
is carrying a gaily decorated basket.)
WALLY : What a surprise we have for Thanksgiving dinner !
MARI ELLEN : I'm glad we hid the nuts until Thanksgiving Day.
Only this morning mother said it wouldn't seem like a Thanks-
giving dinner without a basket of nuts. I could hardly keep
from telling her.
WALLY : I'm glad you didn't. Secrets and surprises are lots of fun
when you keep them secrets and surprises. (Children go to the
corn shock. WALLY kneels down and begins searching among
the corn stalks.) There must be a whole basketful here.
MARI ELLEN (Kneels beside him) : There should be. We spent a
half day gathering them. There were so few this year.
WALLY: I can't find any! That's queer.
MARI ELLEN (Stands up and looks around) : Are you sure tjiis is
the right corn shock?
WALLY (Stands too) : Yes. Don't you remember. It was the one
nearest Sammy Scarecrow.
MARI ELLEN: Yes, I do remember. We chose it especially so
Sammy could keep an eye on them.
WALLY: Much good it did. They aren't here.
MARI ELLEN (Kneels again) : Let me look. No, I can't find any
either. Can't blame Sammy, though. Poor fellow, one of his
eyes is washed away by the rain and the other one is blurred.
WALLY : Maybe it was on the other side of the shock we hid them.
(Goes behind shock.)
MARI ELLEN (Goes to SCARECROW) : .Now if Sammy could talk
perhaps he could tell us what happened to those nuts. Couldn't
you, Sammy? (SCARECROW nods head) Look, Wally, he's nod-
ding his head.
WALLY (Comes from behind corn shock) : Who's nodding whose
head?
MARI ELLEN : Sammy Scarecrow. I said perhaps he could tell us
where the nuts are and he nodded his head.
THANKS TO SAMMY SCARECROW 465
WALLY (Comes to SCARECROW) : It was only the wind blowing
his head about.
MABI ELLEN: Well, maybe. (Examines SCARECROW.) His neck
is awfully wobbly. He's wobbly all over. Poor Sammy! He
was so handsome when we put him out here. Now look at him.
The wind and rain have made a bundle of rags of him.
WALLY (Returns to corn shock) : Well, mooning about the old
fellow won't help find those nuts.
MARI ELLEN : But I feel sorry for him. He spent his whole life
guarding the corn, and now he's lonely and unhappy, and it's
Thanksgiving Day!
WALLY : Well, how can we thank a scarecrow ?
MARI ELLEN : We could take him home with us and fix him up.
Then we could use him again next summer.
WALLY : Yes, we could I'm sure the old fellow would like that
We could keep him in the barn.
MARI ELLEN: And I could mend his coat and paint eyes so he
could see better.
WALLY: And I could find him another hat and some better shoes.
MARI ELLEN : Oh, Wally, let's do it! Let's show him we're thank-
ful for what he's done for us !
WALLY: All right But it doesn't make up for our lost surprise.
We can't put him in our basket and put him on the table and
say, "Surprise!"
MARI ELLEN : No, that would be a joke rather than a surprise.
WALLY: And jokes don't belong to Thanksgiving. That's Hal-
loween. I do wish we could find those nuts! (Begins looking
again.)
MARI ELLEN: I'm going to take him down. He must be tired
hanging on to those crossed sticks. (Begins to loosen SCARE-
CROW.)
WALLY: No use looking any more. There aren't any nuts there.
I suppose we may as well go. (Comes back to SCARECROW.)
MARI ELLEN : Let's take Sammy with us.
WALLY: I guess we may as well make somebody thankful. (As
the children begin to loosen SAMMY, SANDY SQUIRREL peeps
orotund the corn shock.)
MARI ELLEN : Look, Wally, there's a squirrel
WALLY: Sure enough. 111 bet he's the thief. He stole our nuts.
Where do you suppose he put them?
466 THANKS TO SAMMY SCARECROW
MARZ ELLEN: If Sammy could talk, I'm sure he could tell us.
Couldn't you, Sammy? ( SCARECROW nods head.)
WALLY: Say, it's funny that whenever you ask a question the
wind blows Sammy's head up and down. (SQUIRREL goes back
behind corn shock.)
MARI ELLEN : There, the squirrel's gone. He saw us.
WALLY: Come on. Let's take Sammy down. You take that side
of him. — Look out, he's falling. (SCARECROW tumbles down
and nuts roll about him.)
MARI ELLEN : See. He did know. The squirrel hid the nuts in his
pockets. Look ! His pockets are full of nuts !
WALLY: Sure enough. Sammy was guarding them for us. I'm
glad you insisted that we take him along. (Children gather up
scattered nuts and put them in the basket.)
MARI ELLEN : Sammy can carry the rest of them in his pockets
and we'll help him along. How thankful we are to him for help-
ing us and how thankful hell be for our care. (Children help
SAMMY to his feet. He brightens up and looks happy. He tries
to hold up his head which wobbles over now and then.)
WALLY: We'll have nuts for our Thanksgiving dinner after all.
Thanks to Sammy Scarecrow! (They go out stage left.)
SANDY (Comes to center of stage and looks after them.) :
There goes my dessert!
Today is Thanksgiving.
Sammy's glad he is living.
His friends are taking him away!
•Because of my thieving
The children were grieving,
But now they are thankful and gay !
THE END
MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY
by Lee Kingman
Characters
MR. THANKS
POLICEMAN
GRANNY
BOY
GIRL
2ND GIRL
2ND POLICEMAN
MAYOR
MAN
WOMAN
2ND BOY
SCENE 1
SETTING : A city street facing a park.
AT RISE: MR. THANKS is sleeping on a park bench. He wakes
up and stretches hard.
MR. THAJSKS: Oh, my! {Opens one eye.) Another day begun.
{Opens other fy*.)The sun can't wait for us to sleep, but wants
us up like him, instead of snoozing soundly on in bed. {Looks
around him.) In bed? I suppose you'd call it that. A place to
stretch out and a pedlar's pack to make a pillow. It could be
worse. {Shakes head sadly.) But it could be better, too.
POLICEMAN {Coming in from right, swinging his stick) : Well,
well. Just getting up?
MR. THANKS (Pulling his pack toward him) : Oh, no ! I just sat
down here to rest a moment.
POLICEMAN (Seeing pack) : Oh — you don't need to worry. We
don't mind your sleeping in the park if you're a pedlar. As long
as you have a legitimate occupation, it's all right. We only arrest
tramps — people with nothing to do. This is a dry where no
467
468 MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY
one can remain idle. All tramps and vagabonds, therefore, have
to be speedily eliminated.
MR. THANKS: Oh, I have a lot to do. In fact, I lead a very busy
life. (Advancing a step and starting to open his pack) I sell
things!
POLICEMAN (Backing off) : Til take your word for it Although
I don't think I've ever seen you in the city before. Do we have
your name on the pedlar's records?
MR. THANKS: Oh, I think so. My name is Thanks. Mr. Thanks.
POLICEMAN : Thanks ? I don't seem to remember the name.
MR. THANKS : You're not the only one. It's such an odd name,
nobody ever remembers it I don't like it at all
POLICEMAN: If you don't like it, why don't you change it?
MR. THANKS (Joyfully) : What a wonderful idea ! Only — what
can I change it to?
POLICEMAN : Well, take a name that means something. There are
plenty of names to choose from.
MR. THANKS: Yes. There's Mr. Storm or Mr. Moon or Mr. Port
or Mrs. Housekeeper. But Mr. Thanks — whoever heard of a
Thanks?
POLICEMAN: I'm sorry. I never did.
MR. THANKS : If it were just a nice-sounding name, I wouldn't
care what it meant. But I don't want to pick one out for me be-
cause then I'd never forgive myself if I didn't like it all the rest
of my days. I'd give anything in my pack to anyone who gave
me a good name.
POLICEMAN (Brightening): You would?
MR. THANKS (Opening his pack wide) : Sure.
POLICEMAN (Leaning over to look inside) : Mmmm. Rubbers and
hairpins and ribbons and laces and needles and pins and hair-
ribbons and a sack of flour and shoes and a scarf. That's a nice
looking warm scarf there. That would keep my neck warm
while I'm walking around the city in the winter. I'd like that
MR. THANKS : Take it and welcome. But what about a name for
me?
POLICEMAN: Oh — Mr. Weaver. How about that?
MR. THANKS: Weaver? Oh, that's wonderful! (Gives him the
scarf.)
POLICEMAN : This is fine. Well, I hope you enjoy your name, Mr.
Weaver. Good day.
MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY 469
MR. THANKS. (As POLICEMAN walks off) : Good day. (Leans
over to tie up pack again.) Mr. Weaver. What a lovely sound-
ing name and all mine. (Picks up pack and starts along.)
Oh, my name is Mr. Weaver,
I'm as busy as a beaver.
I can sell you a knick or a knack.
If you want anything at all
From a beehive to a ball,
You'll find it in my pack.
Just a knick or a knack in my pack —
For, I'm as busy as a beaver
And my name is Mr. Weaver.
GRANNY (Looking out from a doorway) : Mr. Weaver? You're
just the man I'm looking for.
MR. THANKS (Putting down his pack and starting to open it) :
Yes, ma'am. I have here —
GRANNY: Oh, I don't want to buy anything new. But I have a
lovely woven shawl that the moths got into, and I wonder if
you could weave me a strip for a new edge to it
MR. THANKS : I'm sorry, but I'm not a weaver.
GRANNY : But you said your name was Weaver.
MR. THANKS (Shaking his head sadly) : I guess that isn't such a
good name after all. It's making me out to be something I'm
not You see, I'm looking for a name. A good name that means
something, because Thanks — that's my real name — doesn't
mean anything to anybody.
GRANNY: It is odd, isn't it?
MR. THANKS : So the policeman suggested Weaver. I don't want
to pick out a name because I'd never forgive myself if I didn't
like it all the rest of my days, but I'll give you anything in my
pack if you'll tell me a good name. (Opens pack.)
GRANNY (Poking through pack) : Rubbers and hairpins and rib-
bons and laces and needles and pins and hair-ribbons and a sack
of flour and shoes. (Holds up shoes.) That's a lovely pair of
shoes and I've needed a new pair for a long time and haven't
had money to buy them.
MR. THANKS: Take them and welcome. But what about a name
forme?
GRANNY: Why, Mr. Shoemaker, of course. (Turns away, holding
up shoes and admiring them.) I hope you enjoy your name, Mr.
Shoemaker. Good day. (Exits through doorway.)
470 MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY
MR. THANKS : Good day. (Shouldering his pack)
Shoemaker, Shoemaker, that's my name,
And I can sell you anything
From a box to a ball,
From a doily to a doll,
Or a ramrod fit for a king!
BOY (Running in) : Did you say you were a shoemaker?
MR. THANKS (Proudly) : That's my name.
BOY (Taking a pair of shoes from the little girl with him) : Would
you like to buy some shoes? They've got real leather in them
and you could probably sell them again.
MR. THANKS: Don't you wear them?
BOY: No, I don't like to wear shoes. Besides (With a sigh) I've
got to sell them so my sister and I can buy some bread to eat.
M*. THANKS (Sorrowfully) : Well — I'm not a shoemaker —
even though that was my name.
BOY (Turning away sadly) : Oh!
MR. THANKS: But I tell you what we'll do. (Reaches in pack.)
You'll need those shoes in the winter, but if you'll tell me a good
name — one that I'll like all the rest of my days — I'll give you
a sack of flour, and you can trade it with Mr. Baker for a loaf
of bread.
BOY (Looking at flour longingly) : Well — let's see. . . .
GIRL (Pushing hair out of eyes) : You could be Mr. Miller.
MR. THANKS: That's a fine idea. (Reaches in pack). Here's a
hair-ribbon to keep your hair out of your eyes. Take it and
welcome.
GIRL (Holding it up) : My — it's beautiful
BOY : The flour will save our lives, Mr. Miller. ( Walks away with
girl.) Good day.
Ma. THANKS (Swinging pack over back joyfully, starts off left.)
Ah, my name is Mr. Miller,
And my life is like a thriller.
I can sell you anything
From a box to a ball,
From a doily to a doll,
Or a ramrod fit for a king.
(Exits.)
CURTAIN
MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY 471
SCENE 2
SETTING: Same as Scene 1, sometime later. There is a bench at
left.
AT RISE: Enter MR. THANKS, dragging his feet and pulling an
empty pack behind him.
MR. THANKS (Sitting down wearily on bench) : I ask you now —
is this fair? I've traded off every single thing in my pack for
names — just names — and not one of them proved to be a
good one. Rubbers and hairpins and ribbons and laces and
needles and pins and balls and boxes and dolls and doilies and
hair-ribbons and shoes and a sack of flour and a scarf — all
gone for nothing. And now I have nothing left to sell and no
money to buy with. (Puts his head in his hands.) I haven't even
got a name — except Thanks.
BOY (Coming in right, holding little girl by the hand): Look!
There's the pedlar who gave us the sack of flour.
GIRL : And the hair-ribbon. Hello.
MR. THANKS (Not looking up) : Hello.
BOY: Do you live in the park?
MR. THANKS: I didn't before, but it looks as if I were going to
now.
GIRL: We live under the oak tree down by the pond — in the
summer, that is. It's very nice.
MR. THANKS: I'm sure it is. Lots of fresh air — if you like it.
BOY: The only difficulty is not letting the policemen know you're
here.
GIRL: They're awfully snoopy.
BOY (Looking up) : Quick — here comes one now !
GIRL (Pulling at MR. THANKS' hand) : Hurry ! Run and hide !
MR. THANKS (Gently removing her hand and pushing her away) :
No. You run along. I'm just a nameless person, so I don't exist.
(BOY and GIRL run to left and hide.)
2ND POLICEMAN (Walking up and swinging stick) : And what,
may I ask, are you doing?
MR. THANKS: This is my home. I live here.
2ND POLICEMAN : Oh, you do. And what may I ask is your occu-
pation?
472 MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY
MR. THANKS : I used to be a pedlar. I could sell you anything at
all — but as of this evening, I am unemployed. I have nothing
more to sell and no money to buy anything new.
2ND POLICEMAN (Pulling out notebook) : And what, may I ask,
is your name?
MR. THANKS: You may well ask, but I'm sure I can't tell you.
It might be Weaver or Shoemaker or Miller or Porter or Cook
or Baker or Bank — but it isn't.
2ND POLICEMAN : With all those names, you're a suspicious char-
acter. You'd better come with me!
MR. THANKS: I suppose I couldn't convince you that I haven't
any name at all
2ND POLICEMAN: You most certainly could not (Grabbing him
by the collar and pushing him off right stage) There's only one
place for idlers — the Mayor likes to make an example of them.
BOY (Crawling out of his hiding place) : He's arrested the pedlar!
GIRL : And he was such a kind pedlar. He never did anyone harm !
BOY: The Mayor will probably sentence him to ten years of hard
labor.
GIRL: He was so nice to everyone — giving things like that. I
wish we could do something for him,
BOY : What could we do ? Hell be tried first thing in the morning.
GIRL: There must be some way we can help him —
BOY: I think I know what we can do. Come on — we've got a
lot of work to do before sunrise. (They run off.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENES
SETTING: The park bench, where the MAYOR likes to hold court.
The next morning.
AT RISE: At one side, the two POLICEMEN are holding the PEDLAR.
The MAYOR makes a gesture and the POLICEMEN bring the pris-
oner over to the bench.
MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY 473
MAYOR: And with what is this man charged?
POLICEMAN : He is a loiterer. We found him idling in the park.
MAYOR (Horrified): Idling! Loitering! That's one thing we
never allow in this city.
MR. THANKS : Yes, sir.
MAYOR: Let me see — that calls for a good stiff sentence. Ten to
twelve years at hard labor, I believe. It's just a question of
whether salt mines or rock piles would be worse for you.
BOY (Running in right, followed by all the people to whom the
PEDLAR gave things in exchange for names) : There they are !
There's the pedlar,
GIRL (Running up boldly, but stopping to curtsy to the MAYOR) :
Mr. Mayor, you're making an awful mistake — the pedlar is a
very kind man.
GRANNY (Stepping forward) : Yes — he's a good man — he gave
me a new pair of shoes I needed badly.
MAN : He gave me some nails so I could fix the roof of my house,
and the rain won't come in any more.
WOMAN: He gave me a ball that kept my baby happy all
afternoon.
2ND BOY : He gave me a fishhook, and I caught enough fish for
supper.
2ND GIRL: He gave me some crayons so I could finish some
drawings.
GIRL: He gave me a hair-ribbon, and it makes me feel lovely to
wear it
BOY : He gave me a sack of flour — and my sister and I traded it
for some bread to eat.
POLICEMAN : He gave me a scarf to keep me warm in the winter.
MAYOR (Turning to PEDLAR) : But why were you giving things
away instead of selling them?
MR. THANKS : I was trying to find a good name and they all gave
me names in exchange. But none of them was right
MAYOR: What's wrong with your own name?
MR. THANKS: Everyone but me has. a useful name that means
something. My name doesn't mean anything at all. It's Thanks.
MAYOR: Thanks?
EVERYONE: Thanks?
MR. THANKS: Yes, Thanks.
MAYOR (Thoughtfully) : In consideration of all your kindnc
474 MR. THANKS HAS HIS DAY
which seem to have helped so many people, I think we would
be doing you an injustice to sentence you to hard labor.
EVERYONE: Oh, yes indeed.
Oh, yes.
Think of what he's done for us.
MAYOR: In fact, I think we should give you something and make
the name Thanks a name to be proud of.
MR. THANKS: That's very kind of you, sir.
MAYOR: Not at all. But — I must say your name is very hard to
do anything with. What can we make it mean?
BOY: Please, sir. I have an idea.
MAYOR: Go ahead, my boy.
BOY: Well, I've noticed that whenever anyone does something
for us or gives us anything, we always want to express our ap-
preciation, and we sometimes don't know what to say. We
could say, "Thanks."
MAYOR (Beaming) : Indeed, we could. Why, thanks, my boy.
MR. THANKS (Beaming) : Oh, yes — why — my thanks to all
of you.
EVERYONE: Our thanks to you, Mr. Thanks.
Thanks yourself.
MAYOR: In fact, if I may make a slight suggestion, thanking peo-
ple is something we should do a lot more of every day. But in
honor of Mr. Thanks and in appreciation of all the kindnesses
that people do for us, I think we ought to have one special day
every year in celebration of all good things: We can call it
Thanksgiving.
EVERYONE: Thanksgiving! What a wonderful idea!
A celebration!
Another way of showing Thanks!
Speech, speech, Mr. Thanks !
MR. THANKS: I can only say that I'll never again be ashamed of
my name. It makes me very proud to be a useful person —
Mr. Thanks.
THE END
JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING
by Alice Very
Characters
THANKFUL, a little girl
DEBORAH, her sister
MOTHER, a Pilgrim
JONATHAN, a little boy
FATHER, a Pilgrim
JOSHUA, his son
TOWN CRIER
OPATUCK, an Indian squaw
PAPOOSE (a far^e mama doll will serve)
GOODY SPRY, a neighbor
PRUDENCE, a girl
PUNKAPOAG, Indian chief
SCENE 1
SETTING: Kitchen of Pilgrim home. Outer door right back. Fire-
place left back. Window right. Inner door left. Furnishings in
style of period, if possible.
AT RISE : MOTHER spinning. DEBORAH sewing pieces. THANKFUL
studying horn book. JONATHAN whittling arrows.
THANKFUL: Mother, I can say my ABC's. Now I can read!
DEBORAH : Oh no, Thankful, not yet. You must learn a good deal
more before you can read.
THANKFUL (.Eagerly) i But I can learn soon, can't I, Mother?
MOTHER: Yes, Thankful, soon you will know your whole horn
book.
THANKFUL {Looking at large Bible) : Then may I read the Bible,
Mother?
MOTHER : Yes, but you must take great care of the Book. It came
all the way from England, in a ship.
475
476 JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING
DEBORAH: I remember. It was the Mayflower, and we came
with it
THANKFUL: Did I come with it?
MOTHER : No, you were not born then.
DEBORAH : I was born in England, so I am English.
THANKFUL: But what am I, Mother?
MOTHER : You were born in the New World, so you are —
DEBORAH (Interrupting) : She is an Indian.
MOTHER (Smiling) : No, you are an American.
THANKFUL: That's why I was named Thankful, wasn't it?
JONATHAN : I'd rather be an Indian.
DEBORAH : What do you want to be an Indian for, Jonathan?
JONATHAN : So I can go hunting with my bow and arrows I made.
See. (Showing bow and arrow) They're just like the Indian
boys'. Heap big chief ! Wa-wa-wa ! (Stamping and clatter out-
side. Enter FATHER with sickle and JOSHUA with ears of corn.)
FATHER: Well, Mother, the harvest is in.
JOSHUA (Happily) : There was so much we could hardly get it all
in the corn crib.
MOTHER: The Lord be praised! We shall have plenty to eat this
year.
JOSHUA: We shan't be hungry the way we were last winter.
(Pauses) Jonathan, do you remember how we used to hunt
for acorns?
JONATHAN: Yes, and how good they tasted when we were so
hungry.
DEBORAH : And now we can parch corn over the fire. (Rubbing
corn from ears into spider)
FATHER: This is a good land. Look you, children, do well so you
may keep it (Hangs up sickle. A bett rings offstage. A knock
at the door. JONATHAN opens. Enter TOWN CRIER with bell and
rott of paper with seal.)
TOWN CRIER (Reads) : Hear ye, good people. The Governor has
sent me to all the town of Plymouth to proclaim Thursday, the
last of November, a day of Thanksgiving. Ye shall gather to-
gether to feast and make merry and give thanks to God for His
plentiful blessings. (Goes out, ringing.)
CHILDREN (Joyfully, dancing around their mother) : A feast!
Hurrah!
JOSHUA: Will I eat my fill!
JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING 477
JONATHAN : I can eat more than you.
DEBORAH : Let's make ready now.
THANKFUL : I want to help.
MOTHER (Sighing) : Cornbread and beans will scarce make a
feast
FATHER : There is meat enough in the woods. I'll take my musket
and go a-hunting. (Takes musket from over fireplace.)
JONATHAN : O Father, let me go with you and Joshua.
JOSHUA : What could you do !
JONATHAN (Showing bow and arrows) : I can shoot a bear with
my bow and arrows.
DEBORAH: Bear meat's too tough.
THANKFUL (Frightened) : O Jonathan don't go near any bears!
JONATHAN (Boasting) : I'm not afraid of bears. (Hesitantly)
Besides, Father will be there.
MOTHER: But what about the Indians?
FATHER: I hear the tribe left for their winter camp down the
Cape. Let him come with us ; he can help carry home the game.
(JONATHAN and JOSHUA ftt their pockets with parched corn
and go out with FATHER.)
MOTHER: Oh, if I could only make the mince pies we had in
England!
DEBORAH : You have the fine flour Goody Spry gave you.
MOTHER: But what to put in them?
DEBORAH : Just wait. I'll bring you somewhat. (Runs out)
THANKFUL: What is it, Debby? (Runs after DEBORAH. MOTHER
tends fire. DEBORAH and THANKFUL come in again, carrying a
large pumpkin.)
DEBORAH : See our big pumpkin ! Let's put this in the pies.
MOTHER: A pumpkin! Still, with eggs and honey, maybe —
(Puts pumpkin on table.)
THANKFUL : It looks as if it were all made of gold.
DEBORAH : I wish it were.
THANKFUL: Then we'd be rich.
MOTHER: We must be content with what we have. (A knock at
the door.)
MOTHER: Come in! (Enter OPATUCK with PAPOOSE. OPATUCK
walks slowly leaning on stick.)
OPATUCK: Pray, mistress, food for papoose. (MOTHER helps
OPATUCK to chair.)
478 JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING
MOTHER (To DEBORAH and THANKFUL) : Run, fetch bread and
milk. (They hurry to inner door, return with loaf, knife, and
MOTHER (Sympathetically) : Why, poor woman, how is it you
are not with your people?
OPATUCK: Opatuck hurt foot No walk fast with papoose. Left
behind
MOTHER: Stay here till they return. You're welcome to share
with us what little we have. (Cuts bread, pours mSk into mug
and gives it to OPATUCK.)
OPATUCK: You kind mistress. Opatuck work for you.
DEBORAH: Isn't the baby uncomfortable tied to that board?
THANKFUL : She can have my cradle. (DEBORAH and THANKFUL
pull up cradle.)
MOTHER: Will you let us put your baby in the cradle? My little
girl is too big for it
OPATUCK : Yes, yes, fine bed (They put PAPOOSE in cradle.)
THANKFUL: Now you are my poppet (DEBOBAH and THANK-
FUL rock cradle. PAPOOSE cries.)
OPATUCK: Papoose no like too much rock. (Singing to Indian
tune.)
CURTAIN
* * *
g-TLJU-^ 1
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same, a little later.
AT RISE : MOTHER is busy at fireplace. DEBORAH, THANKFUL, and
OPATUCK enter with baskets.
DEBORAH : See the wild grapes and cranberries I found for our
Thanksgiving. (Puts basket on table.)
THANKFUL: I got red leaves to make the house pretty. (Puts
leaves in fear on table.)
JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING 479
OPATUCK: Opatuck know roots make good smell in pies. (Takes
basket into inner door.)
MOTHER : Now if we but had the meat Father is bringing. {Look-
ing at hour glass) What can be keeping them so long? (DEB-
ORAH and THANKFUL look out of window.)
DEBORAH: I don't see them, but here come Goody Spry and
Prudence.
MOTHER: So early? And we not ready yet! (A knock. Enter
GOODY SPRY and PRUDENCE, carrying hamper.)
GOODY SPRY: A fine day to you, good wife. Have ye heard the
news? Prudence, your respects. (PRUDENCE curtsies.)
MOTHER: Pray, sit down. What is the news?
GOODY SPRY (Sitting) : You haven't heard? But what are those
scarlet leaves?
MOTHER : They are to deck the house for the feast.
GOODY SPRY: Such colors do not befit a godly house.
MOTHER: Thanksgiving is a day for joy, not dumps, Goody.
GOODY SPRY: No matter, I have brought you some dainties for
the feast. Prudence, unpack the hamper.
PRUDENCE: Yes, ma'am. (Curtsies.)
DEBORAH: Prudence, we have somewhat for you. (PRUDENCE,
DERORAH, and THANKFUL carry hamper out inner door.)
GOODY SPRY: Is your man at home?
MOTHER: Not yet (OPATUCK comes in from inner door -txnth
kettle.)
GOODY SPRY (Taken back) : Bless us! Who is this?
OPATUCK : Me Opatuck. (Hangs kettle over fire.)
MOTHER: My hand maid.
GOODY SPRY: What a start she gave me! The Indians are on the
warpath again. Tis said they are creeping through the woods
over Loon Pond way. (DEBORAH, THANKFUL, and PRUDENCE
rush in.)
DEBORAH: Oh Mother! Father and the boys are in the woods!
THANKFUL (Frightened) : The Indians may hurt them!
OPATUCK: Indians no hurt good white man. (Goes out inner
door. A noise outside.)
CHILDREN: Hark! What was that?
GOODY SPRY: There they are now! (MOTHER stands in front of
CHILDREN. Enter FATHER and JOSHUA. CHILDREN rush to ,
them.)
480 JONATHAN'S THANKSGITONG
CHILDREN: Father!
JOSHUA : Guess what we brought.
GOODY SPRY: What have you — a deer?
FATHER : We saw a fine deer —
GOODY SPRY: Good! I am fond of deer.
JOSHUA: A big one, leaping like this — (Bounding across room.)
GOODY SPRY : The bigger, the better.
FATHER: I took aim — (Holding musket) fired —
GOODY SPRY : Ah, and the deer —
JOSHUA: Leaped over the brook (Jumping over stool.) and
away —
FATHER: Out of sight
GOODY SPRY: You hit him?
FATHER: No, I missed him.
GOODY SPRY (Disappointed) : What, no meat!
FATHER: Jonathan has your meat. (Enter JONATHAN with a large
turkey.)
CHILDREN: What is that?
FATHER: A wild turkey.
JONATHAN (Proudly) : I shot it
JOSHUA: He shot it all himself.
JONATHAN: With my bow and arrows. (Gives turkey to
MOTHER.)
THANKFUL: We have something, too.
JOSHUA: Something to eat?
JONATHAN: I'm hungry. (DEBORAH and THANKFUL bring
PAPOOSE.)
FATHER : What is this ?
THANKFUL: Our new baby.
DEBORAH : It is an Indian baby. (A war whoop offstage. PUNX-
APOAG bursts in door "with tomahawk and seises FATHER by
hair.)
PUNKAPOAG: You catch papoose, squaw. (Raises tomahawk.
OPATUCK runs in and seises arm.)
OPATUCK: No, no, Punkapoag, paleface no catch papoose. You
leave Opatudc big swamp — no can go.
PUNKAPOAG: Chief lose Opatuck, go back, find.
OPATUCK: White squaw good, all safe,
JONATHAN (Going to him) : Hullo, Chief!
PUNKAPOAG (Pleased to see him) : How, master Jonathan!
JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING 481
FATHER (Surprised) : You know this man?
JONATHAN : He's my friend. He showed me how to make bows
and arrows.
PUNKAPOAG: Good hunter, catch plenty meat.
FATHER: Indians, will you be our friends and feast with us?
CHILDREN (Pleading) : Yes, come to our Thanksgiving feast.
OPATUCK: We come (To PUNKAPOAG) — all right?
PUNKAPOAG : All right. (FATHER shakes hands with PUNKAPOAG.)
MOTHER: Well roast the turkey.
OPATUCK: Make him good — mmh!
DEBORAH : We'll have pumpkin pies —
THANKFUL: And cranberry s*uce —
JOSHUA : And chestnuts —
JONATHAN : And corn —
PUNKAPOAG: Chief bring plenty deer meat —
PRUDENCE (To GOODY SPRY) : Debby gave me this necklace of
cranberries. Will you give me leave to wear it?
GOODY SPRY: Well, since it is Thanksgiving Day —
PRUDENCE: Thank you, ma'am. (Curtsies.)
FATHER (Quietly) : This is Thanksgiving Day. So let us thank
Him Who brought us over the wide sea and gave us this good
and fruitful land and made friends of our foes, so we may live
at peace.
THE END
THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH
by Lindsey Barbee
Characters
MARILYN TAYLOR
Lois TAYLOR, a younger sister
JACK TAYLOR
HANNAH, a maid
GEORGE JARVIS, a forest ranger
TOM MEREDITH
ROSE MEREDITH
SETTING: Main room in the TAYLOR mountain home.
TIME: Late afternoon.
AT RISE : JACK is sprawled in the large chair. Lois is on the fire-
side bench. MARILYN is at the telephone.
MARILYN {At telephone) i But — Mother! It's Christmas Eve —
and the tree is ready — Why, you and Dad must make it — I
can't understand why — yes, of course it's snowing, but —
JACK : Here — let me take it. (Crosses to desk.)
MARILYN: Jack wants to talk with you — Goodbye — oh good-
bye — And oh, do find a way — please — (Crosses to Lois)
Oh dear, oh dear!
JACK: Why, Mother, what's this about being snowbound? — The
roads aren't clear? — That's pretty strange for it isn't that big
a storm — Well try again. — It's Christmas Eve in case you've
forgotten — Well be looking for you, (Hangs up.)
Lois (MournjuUy) : It's just like Jo in "Little Women."
JACK: What do you mean — just like Jo?
Lois: Why, she said, "It won't be Christmas without any pres-
ents." And we say, "It won't be Christmas without Mother
and Father."
JACK (In telephone chair) : For the life of me I can't see why any
storm would block the road to this cabin.
482
TEE HOLLY HANGS HIGH 483
MARILYN: This isn't so far from the city and the clubhouse has
a snowplough.
Lois : Is there anybody at the clubhouse?
MARILYN: The manager is always there, and people often come
for winter sports.
JACK : Well, you're to blame for the whole thing, Marilyn.
MARILYN : I don't like your tone.
JACK : If you hadn't begged Mother and Father to spend Christ-
mas at our mountain cabin, there wouldn't have been any of
this mess.
MARILYN : If the storm hadn't come —
JACK: But you might have known that Christmas is the time
for storms.
MARILYN : If Mother hadn't waited for the guests —
JACK: And if we had sense enough to wait for Mother and
Father —
MARILYN : But we had the chance to come up earlier and to ar-
range things.
JACK : That was your idea, too.
Lois (At window) : The wind's howling — and there are big
clouds of snow —
JACK: Just the same, the roads shouldn't be blocked. (Turns)
1*11 call the clubhouse and see what I can find out. (Takes re-
ceiver) Clubhouse? — Hi, Mr. Parker, this is Jack Taylor —
We're up for Christmas — came this morning — Nothing
splendid about it — Mother and Father were to follow this
afternoon but they've telephoned that the road is skiddy and
that they can't make it tonight — Now what do you know about
the roads? — Oh, all right — So-long. (Hangs up receiver.)
I might as well have kept quiet.
MARILYN: Why?
JACK : He doesn't seem to know any more than I know. Acted
funny.
Lois : How did he act funny ?
JACK : Didn't seem to want to talk about it.
MARILYN (Clasping her lianas) : Then the storm is bad — and
they won't get here.
JACK : Stop acting like a tragedy queen.
MARILYN : Stop being so hateful
484 TEE HOLLY HANGS HIGH
Lois: Stop quarreling. It isn't right to quarrel on Christmas Eve.
(Comes back to -bench.)
JACK: And you wanted a surprise Christmas, Marilyn. Plenty
of surprises.
MARILYN : What if I did?
JACK : You're getting them all right.
MARILYN : Maybe 111 get another.
JACK: What?
MARILYN : Mother and Dad may get here.
JACK : Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
MARILYN : Then there's Rose —
JACK: And Tom.
MARILYN : Oh they just must come!
Lois : Mother expected them to arrive just in time to bring them
up here.
JACK : What's the use in getting excited over a girl you've never
seen?
MARILYN: She's the daughter of Mother's school friend — and
you've been just as excited over her brother, Tom.
Lois : And it will be such fun to show them the cabin.
JACK : It looks as if we can show each other the cabin.
MARILYN : You're a crabby old thing.
JACK : And you're the world's prize idiot
Lois : You're dreadful — both of you.
MARILYN: I'm disappointed.
JACK : And I'm thinking just what a lark it would have been to
stay at home.
Lois (Weeping a little) : The tree looks so lovely.
JACK : Silly to trim it so soon.
Lois: We wanted to surprise everybody.
JACK: One too many surprises, I'd say. (Crosses to right) I'm
going for a walk.
MARILYN: In all this storm?
JACK : Maybe I'll calm down if I tramp around for a while.
MARILYN : Please don't go far.
JACK : I'll be back for dinner — and 111 tell Hannah to have a
corking one. (Goes off)
Lois (Wiping her eyes) : Oh, dear — oh, dear!
MARILYN : Do hush, Lois. (In a moment HANNAH enters jrom
right.)
THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH 485
HANNAH : An* jus* why is Mr. Jack goin' out in all this storm?
Lois: He's dreadfully upset because the folks can't get through
to us.
HANNAH : The barometer's goin' down all the time.
MARILYN: I'm frightened.
HANNAH : An' I'm scared — an' IVe been scared ever since that
snow began. (Pauses and smooths down her apron) It's jus' as
if somethin's about to happen.
MARILYN : Don't say that.
HANNAH: It's sort of second sight I'm havin' — maybe it's a
sixth sense.
MARILYN : Sixth sense isn't so important as common sense.
HANNAH : You jus' can't tell what'll happen on a day like this.
Lois (Again at window) : It looks a little clearer — over there.
HANNAH (Following) : No, Miss Lois. It's darker if anythin'.
(There's a sharp rap at the door at left)
Lois: Oh!
HANNAH: I'll go, Miss Marilyn. (Crosses to left) Who's there?
VOICE : Forest ranger.
MARILYN: Open the door, Hannah. (As HANNAH opens the
door) Why, George Jarvis !
GEORGE: Hello, Marilyn. Hello, Lois.
MARILYN: Come on in. (HANNAH goes out right)
GEORGE: For just a minute. (Steps inside) I was passing by and
saw a car in your shed.
MARILYN : Our garage man drove us up this morning and then
went on to the clubhouse.
GEORGE: Jack here?
MARILYN : He's just gone for a tramp.
GEORGE : Great idea to spend Christmas here.
MARILYN : We thought it would be wonderful, but now, Mother
and Father can't get here until tomorrow.
GEORGE: Why?
MARILYN : The roads are so bad.
GEORGE: Oh, come now. This snow isn't heavy enough to block
the roads.
MARILYN: They've just telephoned.
GEORGE : Don't understand it.
MARILYN: Anyway, it's hard luck.
GEORGE : Don't want to scare you, but I might as well say there's
486 THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH
been a young fellow around these parts breaking into cabins
and staging a few stickups.
Lois: Oh — how — dreadful!
GEORGE: When I saw your car I decided to stop and leave a
warning.
MARILYN : That's good of you, but I'm pretty sure that no tramp
would try to hold up four people.
GEORGE: I guess you're right.
MARILYN : Thanks a lot, just the same.
GEORGE (Turning) : I'm on my way to the city.
MARILYN: How do you like the ranger life?
GEORGE: It's keen.
MARILYN: Any chance for a girl ranger?
GEORGE: Why not?
MARILYN : I'll apply — right away.
GEORGE : And 1*11 pull for you. (As he goes out) Goodbye. (HAN-
NAH enters at right)
HANNAH : There's a pot of hot chocolate all ready for you chil-
dren. How about it?
Lois (Clapping her hands) : Super.
HANNAH : You need something to cheer you up. (Goes out right)
MARILYN (Mournfully) : We planned to have such a lovely eve-
ning — presents all around the tree —
Lois : And the bunch of holly looks so lovely above the mantel.
MARILYN: The house is warm and cozy, isn't it?
Lois: Shall we take the screen from around the tree?
MARILYN: Oh, I can't bear to do it without all the others!
(Pauses, then adds emphatically) No — we won't. (HANNAH
enters from right carrying a tray with a pot of chocolate and
two cups and saucers)
HANNAH : Here you are — and maybe it will help things along.
(Places tray on table)
MARILYN (Sitting by table) : Everything looks brighter already.
(Lois sits on fireside bench. While MARILYN pours the choc-
olate, HANNAH crosses to desk and straightens chair. As she
turns to push the hassock to its proper position, she speaks in
a lowered tone.)
HANNAH : Don't move, Miss Marilyn — and you, too, Miss Lois
— and pretend you don't know what I'm saying — for there's
a strange fellow looking in the window. (Whereupon, there is
THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH 487
a sharp tap on the window although no face is visible. No one
turns. Again the tap.)
MARILYN (In a whisper) : It's the tramp,
HANNAH (Also in a whisper) : What tramp?
MARILYN : Someone who's been breaking into houses and holding
up people.
HANNAH : Good gracious !
MARILYN: Go into the kitchen right away and see that every
door is locked. Stand near.
HANNAH (Grimly) : I'll stand near with a poker. (Goes out
right. Another sharp tapt but MARILYN'S face is averted and
Lois is motionless. In a moment there is a knock on the door,
a rattling of the knob, and then silence.)
Lois (Whispering) : Has he gone?
MARILYN (Rushing to window, cup in hand) : Yes. (Pauses)
He must have gone around the house.
Lois: Funny way for a tramp to act.
MARILYN : I think so, too. (Comes back to table and deposits her
cup)
Lois: Oh, we hadn't planned for all this. (Places her cup on table
and goes to window)
MARILYN (Following her) : It certainly doesn't seem like Christ-
mas Eve.
Lois: Anyway, the mist is going.
MARILYN : I believe it is. (As HANNAH enters from right) Why,
Hannah, what's the matter? (For HANNAH « auto* out of
breath, a bit disheveled, and stands with her back against the
door.)
HANNAH : I've got him, Miss Marilyn, I've got him.
MARILYN: Got — the — tramp? (MARILYN and Lois rush to
center)
HANNAN: Sure.
Lois: Where, Hannah — where?
HANNAH : Out in the little porch by the side of the kitchen.
MARILYN: How did you manage it?
HANNAH : Followed him 'round the house until I saw him go on
the porch — an' then — quick as Kghtnin* — I locked the door.
Lois: Hannah, you're wonderfuL
HANNAH : He's pounduV that door, an' yellin' to beat the band.
MARILYN: Oh, I wish that Jack would cornel
488 THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH
HANNAH : I'm goin' right back to the kitchen, an* if he manages
to get out I'll use the poker.
MARILYN: If you need us, Hannah, just yell. (HANNAH goes
out) Wouldn't you think that Jack would be tired of tramping
around? (Goes back to window)
Lois : He ought to be right here with us.
MARILYN: Look! There he is.
Lois: Somebody's with him.
MARILYN (Peering) : A girL
Lois : And she's almost blown off her feet.
MARILYN: Oh-h-h! Who can it be? (Opens door and cries)
Jack!
JACK (Appearing at door) : I came across this girl — right out
here — and she's just about all done in. (With MARILYN'S
help, he guides the girl to the big chair. Lois closes the door)
MARILYN : Here, Lois, take off her boots — and her hat — and
Jack, help her off with her coat. (As they act accordingly)
There! (They busy themselves with the stranger who seems
stunned and a bit uncomprehending. Finally she murmurs,
"I'm cold." And in the meantime, Lois has carried the hat,
coat and boots off right.)
JACK: Then come over here to the fire. (The girl moves slowly
to the bench where she seats herself. Lois comes in from right)
MARILYN: That's better.
JACK: I found her stumbling along that upper road and she's
sort of dazed — doesn't seem to know what's happened.
MARILYN: Were you waiting for someone? (The girl looks at
her blankly, then nods her head) For whom? (But there is
no answer)
JACK: Well, what are we going to do about her?
MARILYN : Keep her, of course.
JACK : But it seems pretty queer for her to be wandering around
in this storm.
MARILYN: It's queer for you to be wandering around. (As Lois
begins to weep) Lois ! What's the matter now?
Lois : It doesn't seem like Christmas Eve.
MARILYN: Of course it doesn't
Lois: This funny acting girl and the tramp on the porch— and—
JACK: Tramp?
MARILYN : Some fellow tried to get into the house, and Hannah
locked him on the back porch.
THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH 489
JACK: How do you know he's a tramp?
MARILYN : The forest ranger —
Lois (Eagerly) : George Jarvis —
MARILYN : Came by to warn us about a tramp who's breaking in-
to cabins and holding up people.
THE GIRL (Suddenly): Oh! Oh!
MARILYN : Have you remembered anything?
THE GIRL (Dazed) : My brother was with me.
MARILYN (Soothingly) : Now think very hard and tell us just
where he was — when you were separated from him.
THE GIRL (In a whisper) : My brother!
JACK: That fellow's pounding like a steam engine. (Crosses to
right) I'll settle our friend on the porch.
MARILYN : Oh, Jack, please be careful.
JACK : No tramp would be out in this snow storm.
Lois: He knocked at the window — and at the door — and —
JACK : Then I know he's not a tramp. You girls have done some-
thing else that's silly. (Goes out)
THE GIRL: Was — was — he — hurt?
MARILYN: The tramp? Of course not. (Suddenly) Don't you
think you ought to be quiet? (Pause) Can't you even tell us
your name? (The girl snakes her head, walks back to the chair,
and leans her head against the back)
Lois : We can't do much until you tell us something about your-
self. (Sits on hassock. Before she can answer, JACK appears at
right)
JACK : That fellow is no more a tramp than I am. He saw you
people through the window and just wanted to come in. (MARI-
LYN crosses to him)
THE GIRL (Smiling) : Let — him — come — in.
MARILYN : Maybe it's her brother.
JACK (Turning his head) : This way. (And a very smiling young
fellow appears whom we shall call TOM)
TOM : First time I've ever been taken for a tramp. (Crosses to
the girl) What's the matter?
THE GIRL: Nothing's the matter. I've been play acting. (Crosses
to MARILYN and slips an arm through hers) Forgive me, for I
expected to see Tom here — and didn't know just what to do.
JACK: Tom?
TOM : I came on ahead, hoping to give you people a surprise.
490 THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH
JACK : You gave it all right.
TOM : And Rose was to follow.
MARILYN: Rose? (Pauses) Rose?
TOM : She was to pretend that the snow had blinded her —
JACK: And then what?
TOM : We were to throw a super surprise stunt. (And right here,
the girl becomes ROSE)
ROSE: We're your guests, Tom and Rose Meredith.
Lois: Oh, it can't be so! (Comes to other side of ROSE)
ROSE: You see, your mother and father thought it would be a
joke and surprise all rolled into one if we'd come on ahead of
them.
TOM : If I'd drop in sort of informal like — and —
JACK: You dropped all right.
TOM : Get acquainted.
JACK : Instead, you were locked up all because somebody had told
the girls about a tramp.
ROSE : I was to come along and pretend that I was lost.
TOM: And then your mother and father were to happen in and
tell you just who we are.
ROSE: But everything got a little mixed up.
MARILYN: Rose! Where are Mother and Father?
ROSE: At the clubhouse, of course.
TOM : I thought you'd guess.
JACK: And all that story about not reaching us until tomorrow
wasn't so?
ROSE : Their arrival was to be a surprise.
Lois: Oh — how — wonderful!
TOM: Even if it didn't work out, it's been a surprise all right.
(The telephone rings)
MARILYN : Let me take ft. (Crosses) Oh — Mother ! Tom and
Rose are here — and it's been a perfectly thrilling surprise.
Yes — they told us you were at the clubhouse — why, you
must have been there when you telephoned us the first time —
Oh, hurry — hurry. (Hangs up receiver) They're starting
right now.
JACK: Then let's get this screen away. (With TOM'S help, the
screen is placed at the side, and a beautiful Christmas tree is
revealed with packages around the base)
ROSE: Oh — how — lovely!
THE HOLLY HANGS HIGH 491
TOM : Christmas in the mountains ! It's swell.
MARILYN : Put on the lights, Jack. (JACK touches a switch and
the tree is ablaze with lights)
ROSE : Just like fairyland.
Lois (Clapping her hands) : Look at our presents.
TOM : There's a real snow storm.
JACK : The fire is jolly and bright.
ROSE : The tree is sparkling.
MARILYN (Laughing as she points to the holly) : And the holly
hangs high! (There is the sound of a motor horn close by.
They all rush to left and throw open the door)
Lois (Ecstatically) : Mother! Father!
THE END
MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
by Gladys Hasty Carroll
Characters
MOTHER
RAYMOND
HALLIE
EVELYN
RALPH
GRANDMOTHER
GRANDFATHER
DORIS
CHORUS OF YOUNG PEOPLE (6 or more)
SYLVIA
PETER
GORDON
MYRTLE
JACK
CHRISTMAS FAIRY
CHRISTMAS ELVES (Several boys and girls)
SANTY
SETTING: Family livingroom on Christmas Eve; outside door on
left of stage; upstairs door on right.
AT RISE: MOTHER sits in rocking chair holding little daughter
and sings "Away in a Manger" Four stockings hang from the
mantel in center. Three sons are finishing decorating Christmas
tree.
MOTHER: There, doesn't that look fine? Aren't we going to have
a lovely Christmas?
RAYMOND : Except that Dad won't be here !
MOTHER : Well you know we weren't going to keep thinking and
talking about that! We're pretty lucky that Dad isn't so terribly
sick any more. There'll be a good turkey dinner for him at the
hospital, and he'll want us to have a good time at home.
492
MERRY, MERRY, MERRY 493
HALLIE : But we'll surely go to see him in the afternoon and take
him his presents, won't we?
MOTHER: Oh, he'll get his presents all right We'll take care of
that.
EVELYN* : I've got a present for him, one I made myself, with
paints.
RALPH : Yes, and got more paint on yourself than you did on the
paper, I bet!
HALLIE : If she spilled any more than you fellows did on the porch
floor when you tried to paint the blind — *
MOTHER : There, now, that'll do, boys. Ralph and Raymond were
doing the best they could to keep the house looking as it would
if Dad were here, and Evie's piqture is very pretty indeed
To hear you boys talk anybody'd think that you didn't think the
world of one another — as I know very well you do Now,
(Putting EVIE down and wrapping a white shawl around her)
off to bed with you ! All four !
RAYMOND: What — Ralph and I, too?
RALPH (Disappointed) : Aw-w-w !
MOTHER : Yes, all of you. The sooner you get to sleep tonight the
sooner it'll be morning.
EVIE: Do you s'pose Santy'll really come this very night? I wish
I could see him !
HALLIE (Laughing, wagging his finger at her) : Oh, no!
MOTHER : Why, Evie ! Nobody's ever supposed to see Santa Claus !
Why, if he should get here, and find you in this room by any
chance, I suppose he'd go right back up the chimney and not
leave a single thing in the stockings.
HALLIE (Serious now) : No! Would he, honest?
MOTHER: At least, that's what they always told me when / was a
little girl, and I never took any chance on it I shouldn't advise
you to.
HALLIE (Taking EVIE'S hand) : Don't worry. We won't
MOTHER: You boys take good care of Baby. I'll be up later to
make sure she's tucked in. And if I run out for a few minutes
by and by, Grandma and Grandpa'll be right here.
EVIE : HallieTl tuck me in. He's a good tucker — almost as good
as Daddy. . . .But, oh, I do wish my daddy were home!
MOTHER (Laughing) : Always back to the same refrain ! Why
don't you sing a different tune? Sing "Good St. Nick." (CM-
494 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
dren go off singing. MOTHER goes about busily picking up things
while humming to herself. GRANDMOTHER comes in.)
MOTHER: Here you are! In good season, too. Oh, it's nice to see
you,
GRANDMOTHER (Cheerily) : Well, it*s as fine a Christmas Eve as
I've ever seen. Just a little skim of snow over everything and
the sky dark blue, and the stars bright. We heard two or three
groups of Christmas carollers as we rode over. Singing always
sounds fine in the night air — especially in the winter time.
(Door opens to let in GRANDFATHER, carrying basket.)
GRANDMOTHER: There, listen! Hear them, Althea? (Voices sing
"0 Little Town" off stage, as GRANDFATHER holds door open.)
MOTHER: Yes. It's lovely. But somehow I can't settle down to
listen tonight. I'm so anxious to get to the hospital and see how
Horace is. If he's still gaining as he was yesterday, maybe —
well, it won't be long before he's home Hello, Father! You
going to help Mother hold the fort for me tonight?
GRANDFATHER: Yes. Sure. No bogeymen'll get in while we're
here. But you bundle up! It's cold out, now I tell you! (Gives
GRANDMOTHER packages.)
GRANDMOTHER : Yes, and go right ahead, Althea. We've got a few
things for the children we'll be putting on the tree. And don't
you worry a bit about anything here. If a chick or a child stirs,
well know it!
MOTHER (Now with her coat and hat on.): I know you will. Of
course. It's so good of you — (Starts out and then puts her head
back in.) But listen especially for Evie, will you? She's walked
twice in her sleep the last two weeks. I think she's lonesome
for her father, and goes looking for him.
GRANDFATHER: Well listen for them all! Now you dear out of
here, and have your visit with Horace. (She goes, laughing.)
Anybody'd think we hadn't brought up four of our own and got
them a good deal farther along than hers are. And no bones
broken, either! Though I'm not saying there hadn't ought to
have been, sometimes. We spoiled our young ones, Hattie.
That's why they order us around now the way they do. And
they're spoiling theirs just the same !
GRANDMOTHER (Laughing) : Well, of course parents are the only
ones who spoil the children. Grandparents don't have a thing
to do with ft, Eben, do they? Here's a doll. And here's a drum.
MESHY, MERRY, MERRY 495
And here's a top. (She names each toy as she picks it up out of
the basket. Sound of singing "Deck the Half offstage grows
louder. Enter at least six young people. Men carry baskets
heaped with presents.)
GRANDFATHER (Peering around) : Who's that? Am I seeing quad-
ruple, or is it Santa Claus himself?
CHORUS: No, we're not Santa Claus!
GRANDMOTHER : Some of them look to me like our own children,
Eben, but I don't see enough of them lately to be sure. Besides,
they're all dressed up so fancy!
DORIS (Hugging her mother) : Oh, Mother, dear, we wean to get
home oftenerf But when a girl works in an office, all the time
she has is nights — and you folks go to bed so early! By the
time Jack and I get our supper dishes washed, you're sound
asleep!
GRANDMOTHER (SmiSng) : Well, I suppose that excuse does as
well as any. But how does it happen you're here now?
SYLVIA : Oh, we had to stop by and leave a few things for Althea's
children. We've been shopping all afternoon. (Goes to her fa-
ther and hugs him.) I know just how they'll miss Horace,
because I remember how we felt that time Father was down
East and didn't get back for Christmas. Why, I really thought
I was going to die!
PETER: So, because of their sad recollections, we dragged up a
flight of fourteen steps — I counted them ! — the biggest load of
Christmas being delivered anywhere in this town tonight, I bet!
GORDON : And I know building on a rock is according to the Bible,
but why did Horace and Althea have to pick such a high one?
If you ask me, I'd say it was probably climbing that flight of
stairs that put Horace where he's been the last two weeks ! I'd
kind of like to lie down in a nice, comfortable bed myself right
now! (Young men put down baskets. PETER starts putting pres-
ents on and around tree, with grandparents helping.)
DORIS : But — instead of that — you're taking us all to a country
dance at Cranberry Meadows, aren't you?
GORDON: Well — I was!
MYRTLE: Oh, you are!
GORDON : Well — if I thought I could dance when I got there —
JACK: If you can't dance with Myrtle, you know who can! Choose
your partners for a Lady of the Lake ! (GRANDFATHER pulls out
496 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
a Jew's harp and they dance a few turns, and dancing, go off,
calling back good-night and merry Christmas.)
PETER (Following) : Tell Althea we'll drop around again in the
morning — help liven up the day for the kids.
GRANDMOTHER: Yes, I'll tell her. And you all have a good time
tonight. You won't be young but once — (Voices singing "Deck
the Hall'9 come back, growing fainter.)
GRANDFATHER: No, they won't be young but once, and who'd
want to be? Who'd want to be young any time except when they
were young? Way young folks do now is nothing to the times
they had when we were growing up, do you say so, Hattie?
GRANDMOTHER: No, Eben. No, I feel just the same as you do
about that
GRANDFATHER: Take the dancing: Of course, this new-fangled
dancing is nothing but jump and jerk. And what they were do-
ing here just now was all gone by as long ago as I can remem-
ber — all out of date. Now we learned some pretty steps ! Re-
member that — what was it? — Varsoviana? (He sings it and
they do it together. A polka would do as well.)
GRANDMOTHER: There, I hadn't thought of that for years, 'til you
spoke. (They sit down, she with folded hands, he with his pipe.)
You remember, Eben, the night they serenaded us?. . .
GRANDFATHER (Nods, slowly) : Yeah . . . and I was thinking of
the day every summer when we used to meet, all the families
around, with horses and carriages, at Flat Rocks, and drive on
down to the beach. . .
GRANDMOTHER (Smiling): Singing!... We'd always be singing.
. . .Oh, — I promised Althea I'd see to Evie — (Hurries out
softly, with two boxes. GRANDFATHER, humming, winds clock,
fixes pipe, looks out window.)
GRANDMOTHER (Returning) : Yes, they're all sound asleep. (They
sit again.) . . .That row of stockings, Eben, reminds me of how
they used to hang under our mantelpiece, Christmas Eve years
ago. Just the same number. Only ours were for three girls and
one boy.
GRANDFATHER (Nodding): Yeah. (Chuckles.) Remember the
night Peter put tin pans beside the stove for Santa Claus to
stumble over? So we'd be sure to hear him when he came?
GRANDMOTHER : And we did all right Something happened, just
before daylight I can hear that crash now
MERRY, MERRY, MERRY 497
GRANDFATHER : But when Pete got to the kitchen, aJl he found
were the pans strewed over the floor. No other signs of Santy —
GRANDMOTHER : But the stockings were full !
GRANDFATHER: Yes. Yes, the stockings were always full at our
house as long as they were hung. . . . We've managed pretty
well, Hattie.
GRANDMOTHER: Yes, I think so, Eben... I think we managed
pretty well And I know God has been good
GRANDFATHER: Do you remember?
GRANDMOTHER : I was just thinking the same
GRANDFATHER: Seems to me as though. . .
GRANDMOTHER: Yes Yes, 'twas, Eben (They fall asleep.
Voices sing softly outside — "Hark the Herald Angels" Si-
lence, and enter two boys in guard uniforms with silver spears,
standing one on each side of the door. Then enter the CHRIST-
MAS FAIRY in white and silver, with a bit of red, looking all
about. She sees the grandparents, runs on tiptoe from one to the
other, touching them with her wand, then she runs back to the
door and calls.)
FAIRY : Come in, come in !
It is safe, — quite safe!
Two sleep here, but they are grown,
And I have touched them with my wand !
They will not wake until we go!
Until we go ! Until we go !
Come in now!
Come in, come in !
(Enter the CHRISTMAS ELVES, att in green and gold, inarching
like soldiers. They stand saluting before the FAIRY.)
FAIRY:
Look at this tree !
Already 'tis laden —
ELVES (In chorus) : Laden? How laden !
FAIRY:
So forget now the tree !
It has no need of thee —
LITTLEST ELF (Throwing out his chest) :
What? No need of mef
FAIRY (Laughing} :
Not even of thee!. . .
498 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
But there are the stockings,
Four in a row. Three boys, I trow,
And one little girl —
GIRL ELF: The girl is mine. 7 claim the girl. I know all about
girls. They like dolls!
FAIRY: You are right about girls. You know about girls. They
like dolls —
BIGGEST BOY ELF : Dolls — pfui ! Well take the boys. We know
about boys. Boys like balls f
OTHER BOY ELVES (In turn) : And knives. . . and drums. . .
and harmonicas —
FAIRY: But now — what do they all like?
ELVES (In chorus) : We know what they all like!. . . candy. . .
oranges. . . and nuts! (They run two to a stocking and hold the
tops open.) But where's the bag? Where's Santy, with his won-
derful, magical Santy's bag, — full of such wonderful, magical
things?
FAIRY (Running to door) :
Sa-anty! Sa-anty!
Two sleep here but they are grown,
And I have touched them with my wand, —
They will not wake until we go!
Sa-anty! Come in!
("FAIRY runs back to stand with the tree as her background, her
silver wand raised. Voices sing softly outside, "Q, Little Town."
Then silence, and SANTY enters. He is a little man in a red suit
— no beard — dragging a bag almost as big as he is, and full.)
ELVES (Chanting with bright faces) :
Oh, merry, merry, merry !
Merry Sir!
Merry, merry, merry —
SANTY (Stopping in middle of room and saluting sharply) :
Merry!
ELVES (Saluting) : Merry!
FAIRY (Softly) : Merry, merry Christmas, Santy dear!
SANTY (Gruffly, with a wave of his hand) : What have we heref
Stockings?
FAIRY (Laughing):
You seem surprised!
Is it because there are so many?
MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
499
Or because there are not more?
Certain it is you've seen stockings before —
On Christinas Eves!
SANTY (Gruffly):
A million, more or less !
A quadrillion, I should guess 1
Even a decillion, maybe —
And — what is more than that, my kdy?
FAIRY (Laughing) : I don't know !
ELVES (To each other.): What they don't know, isn't so!...
Come on, Santy, open upl We need toys! We need toys —
FAIRY : For one little girl —
OTHER ELVES : And three bigger boys !
SANTY (Dragging bag over) : Well! Well! Help yourselves! As
much as you take out at the top, more will come in at the
bottom!
FAIRY (Softly) : Oh, yes, it's a magic bag!
ELVES (Dipping, running, chanting) : Magic bag, magic bag, mag-
ic bag, magic bag! Magic bag — (Door opens, and enter EVIE,
dressed in a pink nightgown, hands out ahead of her, moving
very slowly. She walks slowly.)
EVIE (In monotone) : Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! (Complete cessa
tion of activity; SANTY, FAIRY, and ELVES keep position as they
were. EVIE proceeding around the room, in and out among
them.) Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! (Finally touches GRANDFA-
THER'S knee, climbs up there, and lays her head against him.)
Oh, Daddy, I do like sitting in your lap. Let me sleep tonight in
your lap, Daddy. (His arms close around and settle her com-
fortably, but otherwise he does not stir.)
SANTY (Softly, to FAIRY) : Has your wand touched her?
FAIRY:
You know I never touch children,
And if I did, my wand would never make them sleep !. . .
Still this one sleeps —
SANTY : And any minute she may wake ! 3e quick now, elves ! Be
quick!
FAIRY (Softly) : She's such a lovely little girl —
GIRL ELF: Give her the best!
BOY ELVES (Sighing) : Yes, the best! The very best! She's just a
girl _ only a little girl — but such a lovety, lovely little girl!
500 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
(As they run back and forth from bag to EVIE'S stocking, chant-
ing this, the door opens again. All movement stops. HALLIE en-
ters, looks around in amazement; then in alarm.)
HALLIE: Oh, boy! Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh boy! And she's here! Of
course she'd have to come down here ! (Drives fist into palm of
hand and makes grimace of hard thinking; then looks around.)
Why the dickens doesn't Grandpa wake up? Why doesn't some-
body wake up? I knew Evie walked in her sleep, but I didn't
s'pose everybody Why, maybe they've all turned to salt like
Lot's wife. (Crosses and gingerly pokes biggest ELF. Whisper-
ing) Hey ! Hey, you fellers !
SANTY (Loudly and sternly) : Hands off there, boy !
HALLIE (Startled, putting hands in pocket) : Oh, oh — I — I just
wanted to see if he were real
SANTY: Curiosity kills cats!... What are you here for? What's
the matter with this family, anyway? Didn't your mother and
father ever teach you that the place for children on Christmas
Eve is bed? And for them, too! (Points at grandparents.)
If you think you can play tricks on Santy —
HALLIE (Teeth chattering) : But — but — (Bursts out) Don't
you say anything against my father and mother! They're the
best parents in the world, and they've told us everything they
ought to — but my father's sick in the hospital ! And my moth-
er's gone to visit him! And they can't help it if Evie walks in
her sleep, can they? And she can't help it either. It's all my
fault. — I was supposed to tend to her. But I dropped off, and
she — oh, Santy, you wouldn't take back her presents, would
you? Mother said maybe you would if any child came around.
But Evie isn't really here ! I mean her mind isn't ! Nor her eyes !
She hasn't seen you ; and she doesn't know a thing about it all ;
She's sound asleep, Santy, honest ! Just as if she were in her
bed!
GIRL ELF (Beginning slowly and reluctantly to take EVIE'S gifts) :
Oh ! We forgot! But it is the rule ! If a child gets up — and comes
downstairs on Christmas Eve —
SANTY (Saluting) : Put her presents back. There is something in
what the boy says. After all, the child sleeps.
ELVES (Saluting happily) :
Merry, merry, merry.
Put her presents back!
MERRY, MERRY, MERRY 501
There is something in what he says!
After all, she sleeps.
GIRL ELF (Finishing, turning, pointing) : But what about him?
He does not sleep.
BOY ELVES (Pointing and chanting) :
What about him? Ke does not sleep.
SANTY : Yes, what about you? You do not sleep !
HALLIE (Soberly) : Xo, I'm awake all right. I guess. (He pinches
himself.) Yes, sir. I'm awake. I certainly am. And I see you all
plain as day. A Christmas Fairy, and seven elves and — and
Santy himself! Oh-h-h-h, boy! But I thought you'd be a lot
bigger than this, Santy !
SANTY: Hm. What made you think people could paint good pic-
tures of somebody nobody else ever saw ? I can look a lot of dif-
ferent ways. Well, now, what have you got to say far yourself?
Anything you say will be held against you. Any reason why I
shouldn't take what's in your stocking?
HALLIE (Slowly) : Xo. I guess not Xo. You'll have to take my
presents back, all right.
ELVES : We've got to take his back ; got to take his back, got to
take his back all right. The knife. . . and the candy. . . and the
harmonica —
FAIRY (Gently):
Poor boy !
If you say you're sorry,
Sorry you came and found us here, —
I think if you say you're very sorry
And now will know better another year —
HALLIE (Hands in ppcket) : No, I can't say that. Ill never know
better. Evie's my sister and I look out for her. Always have;
always will And I can't say I'm sorry, because I'm not. If I
hadn't come, she'd have lost her presents instead — and without
even seeing you either! (Looking around, grinning) Anyway,
I've sure seen you! Xothing can change that! And, honest, it's
almost worth it to me! You know, seeing Santy, and you elves,
to say nothing of the Christmas Fairy, — and oh, boy, is she a
queen ! This is just about the biggest thing that has ever hap-
pened to me !
SANTY (Grimly) : Well, if that's the way you feel about it! Do
your duty, men.
502 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
ELVES (Saluting sadly) : Our duty, Sir!
CHRISTMAS FAIRY :
Oh, Santy, dear Santy,
He's a very pretty boy !
And the words he says fall sweetly on my ear !
Oh, don't you think he's right —
And don't you think we might —
I mean, after all, no other children need to hear
What we have done —
If we should do it —
And I don't think that you would rue it —
Oh, Santy, Santy, dear!
He's such a brave, good, honest, pretty boy !
SANTY (Grinning) : Pretty is a fighting word to you, eh, Hallie?
HALLIE (Stoutly) : Not when a fairy says it
SANTY : Oh ! Oh, I see. Makes a difference, eh? Well, now, let me
think. What's this you say about your father being in the hos-
pital and your mother being away? Who are they?
HALLIE : Grandpa and Grandma.
SANTY : Oh. Oh, I see Hm. . . .
EVIE : Daddy. . .Daddy. . .Daddy. . . (FAIRY wipes a sympathetic
tear. GIRL ELF sniffs.)
LITTLEST ELF: Oh-h-h, — boo — hoo — hoo — hool
SANTY (Quickly, clearing his throat) : There; there; none of that,
now ! I know just how you feel. Hallie, promise you'll never tell
what you've seen tonight?
HALLIE: Promise! Cross my heart!
SANTY: Men! FiH up that stocking again! (Salutes) Merry!
ELVES (Saluting) : Merry! (And chanting)
He knows how we fed ! He knows about boys !
Fill up the stocking, fill up the stocking,
Fill up the stocking for Hallie !
SANTY (As they finish) : AH right All right Off we go now.
Seems early, but it'll be daybreak before we know it, and we've
got a lot to do yet — (Tugging at bag)
FAIRY (Sings to tune of "Good Morning to You," while ELVES
dance in circle around.) :
Merry Christmas, dear Evie!
Merry Christinas, brave Hal!
To all that you love,
ME&RY, MERRY, MERRY 503
Blessings from above.
Merry Christinas, dear Evie !
Merry Christmas, brave Hal !
(She goes off, looking back and smiling, waving her wand.
ELVES follow, dancing.)
SANTY (At door) : Well, young fellow, good night and good luck !
After this, you won't believe all you see in pictures, will you?
And don't believe all you see with your own eyes either. Because
— I'm not Santa Clans. I'm just Santy, his right-hand man!
Santa Claus is a big man, just as you thought! (Saluting.)
Merry!
HALLIE (Based, saluting.) : Merry — (SANTY exits, followed by
guards. HALLIE stands, still dosed in middle of floor, rubbing his
eyes. Voices outside sing softly "Silent Night'9 Enter MOTHER
and FATHER. Voices continue very softly.)
MOTHER: Why — Hallie!
FATHER: What's this mean, old fellow? How'd you get down here?
HALLIE (Running to him) : Dad!
EVIE (Waking quickly) : Daddy! Daddy! (Also running to him)
GRANDPARENTS (Waking) : Why — why —
GRANDFATHER: Horace Webster, that's never you, standing on
your feet in your own house just two weeks after —
MOTHER: Oh, but he's gained so fast, Father! The doctor's been
saying for a week he might, and tonight he said he could come
home for Christmas ! Isn't it wonderful ? We didn't tell any of you,
because at the last minute something — but here he is ! Good as
new, except for resting! Of course we've got to take good care
of him ! (Tucks him up in a big chair.)
FATHER: Yes, save some of the cotton around that tree to wrap
me in! (Whistles, sitting with EVIE on his knee and HALLIE on
the arm of the chair.) Hey! What a loaded tree! (Looking
around) And — by the Great Horn Spoon — if Santa Claus
hasn't been here already!
HALLIE : No, Dad. Not Santa Claus himself — (Claps hand wildly
over his mouth.)
FATHER: Why, yes, he has, too! Look at that, Evie! Do you see
what I see?
EVIE : Oooooh ! (Runs, gets doll, conspicuous at top of stocking,
and runs back to her father.)
504 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
MOTHER: Why, what in the world, Mother — and how did the
children get down here?
GRANDMOTHER (Fidgeting) : Well — well — you know you said
Evie was walking in her sleep lately!
GRANDFATHER: Yes, here we were sitting, talking over old times
and first thing we knew, — well— well, here she was ! That's all !
HALLIE : And I came down after her ! That's all 1
GRANDMOTHER (Relieved) : Yes, that's all !
MOTHER: I'm not so sure it's quite all. I rather suspect a trick
somewhere — (Enter RAYMOND and RALPH in cowboy clothes.)
RALPH : "Who said something about Dadf
RAYMOND: Oh, boy, am I seeing things?
HALLIE: Seeing Dad I
EVIE: Daddy!
FATHER : Come here, you two hard-riding, rope-swinging, spur-
booted cowboys! (They stride over, grinning.)
MOTHER: Well, where in the world did those outfits come from?
RAYMOND: Good Old St. Nick, I guess —
RALPH : We found them on the foot of our bed !
HALLIE : Why, he never went up — (Claps hand again over mouth.
RAYMOND and RALPH lean on back of FATHER'S chair and sing
cowboy song.)
HALLIE: Oh, boy, aren't they beauts!
GRANDMOTHER: There's another one of 'em on the tree, Hallie —
looks about your size.
HALLIE: Oh, boy. (Runs toward tree, comes back with it, putting
it on. Off-stage voice sings "Deck the Hatts" Door opens and
young people troop in.)
SYLVIA: We had to stop. We're dying of curiosity. Why all the
lights?
PETER (Sees FATHER and stiakes hands cordially.) : Well,
Horace, old man ! I'm not exactly surprised. Kind of suspected
it all along. But it sure makes Christmas in this house !
DORIS .-Doesn't it!
SYLVIA: Oh, Althea, I'm so happy for you! (Jingle of bells out-
side. Knock oh door9)
ALTHEA: Who in the world, — honestly, seems as if anything
could happen tonight ! (One of young men opens door to lady in
furs.)
MERRY, MERRY, KERRY 505
LADY : Good-evening. I hope you will forgive me for calling so
late. But you see, your happiness is reaching out a long way.
Even I heard of it, and wished I might share it I spoke to my
husband, and though he is a very busy man, he said he would
drive me over. . . .And if you like, he, too, will join you —
MOTHER (Gently) : And you, — will you tell us your name? O£
course I should know it, but —
LADY (Shaking her head) : No, you would have no way. My name
is familiar to few. But my husband — my husband is — Santa
Qausf
EVIE (Sliding off her father's knee) : Ooooh,—Mrs. Santa Claus!
LADY (Smiling) : Yes, dear. Merry Christmas!
HALLIE : You say — you say, Sir — I mean, Ma'am — he's out
here?
LADY (Turning) : Santa! Will you come in? (Offstage — "Jingle
Bells.")
SANTA (Outside) : Whoa, Dasher! Whoa, Dancer! Stand, Pranc-
er and Vixen! (Another jingle of bells and he enters.) Hello,
hello, everybody ! Well, I guess you're having quite a party here
tonight How do, Mr. Webster, how do. Glad to know you're
home again. . .Well, youngsters, it's Christmas already for you,
I guess, — how'd you like to have me strip your tree for you?
RAYMOND and RALPH : Gee, that would be swell !
HALLIE: Oh, boy ! What a night!
EVIE (Curtseying) : That would be very good of you, Santa !
SANTA: Would, hey? (Chucks her under chin.) Well, let's see.
Stockings first, eh? (He brings EVIE*S first, then the boys9.
Boys speak low to FATHER. SANTA marches toward tree.)
FATHER : Just a minute, Santa Claus. My boys here have a sug-
gestion to make. Who's your spokesman, boys?
HALLIE (Prodded by other two) : Well, Santa Claus, it's like this.
Seems to us we've already had about the best Christmas any kids
could have. And of course a lot of the things on the tree there,
folks got for us because they thought we wouldn't have Dad.
But now we've got him. So —
RAYMOND : So seems as if you'd better give most of what's on the
tree to other kids in the neighborhood. That is, we're willing,
if the aunts and uncles, and grandpa and grandma are —
CHORUS : Oh, it's all right with us if it's what you want!
RALPH: You know their names, of course, Santa Claus. And
they're all darned nice kids around here, honest!
506 MERRY, MERRY, MERRY
SANTA CLAUS (Nodding) : I'll bet they are. They are if the Web-
sters are any sample, that's sure. You know, we hear pretty well
of these children of yours up at the North Pole, Mrs. Webster!
ALTHEA (Gently) : I'm glad of that.
MRS. SANTA CLAUS : Yes. I said it was the particular happiness of
this family which brought us here tonight. But it was your un-
selfishness, too. These qualities have great appeal for us —
especially this year !
SANTA CLAUS: All right. All right now. Here we go ! (With the
help of the grown-ups he strips tree.}
SANTA CLAUS (Finishing) : There we are! I guess that's all! And
what a tree it was! Now, Mrs., we've got to be getting right
back up North —
LADY : Yes. Yes, we must get started on our next year's work We
always have a good deal to do ourselves, although as we get
older, of course we have more and more help from the young
folks of our neighborhood You know what I mean, Hallie?
HALLIE (Grinning) : You bet!
LADY: Good-night, everyone, and Merry Christmas!
CHORUS: Good-night! Merry Christmas!
SANTA (In doorf soberly.) : You know, you're mighty lucky peo-
ple to be living this year in a part of the world where you can
have a Christmas like this ! Nothing but stars above your chim-
ney, nothing but snowflakes falling on your roofs. Laden tree,
turkey in the oven, —
MOTHER: And being together, Santa Qaus. That's best of alL
SANTA : Yes, that's right. Being together. With love in your hearts.
That's what the world needs right now. Love for all men. If
only America can keep it —
HALLIE: America's going to keep it, Santa daus!
SANTA CLAUS: Hm, I shouldn't wonder. I shouldn't wonder if it
will — if you say so!. . .You know, I wish you folks would sing
your national hymn. I'd like to hear that tonight. I'd like to have
it lingering on the air as I ride away from a world I can't visit
for another year —
BOYS: We will, Santa daus! (Group sings it.)
SANTA CLAUS (With a wave) : Oh, that's fine ! Fine! Thank you !
Good-night, all!
HALLIE (Saluting) : Merry'
SANTA CLAUS (Smiling, saluting) : Merry!
ALL (Turning to audience) : Merry, merry, merry — Christmas!
THE END
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
by Ella Straiten Colbo
Characters
MISTRESS HARCUS, mother
JAMIE, her crippled son
CYNTHIA, her Kttle daughter
GEORGE, her oldest son
WILLIAM, her second son
NEIGHBOR WARREN
CAPTAIN HARCUS
ELDER HOPKINS
VILLAGERS
SCENE 1
TIME : Early Colonial Days. Two weeks before Christinas.
SETTING : If oom in the Harcus cottage. There must be two doors
and a window. Table, chairs and rocker.
AT RISE : MISTRESS HARCUS is discovered peering anxiously out
of window. JAMIE is seated in rocker with a shawl over his legs
and knees.
JAMIE (Anxiously) : Is the storm bad, Mother? Can you see
them? Are they coming?
MOTHER (Slowly) : No — they are not yet in sight. I wish I had
not let little Cynthia go with them, but she begged so hard, and
both George and William promised to mind her carefully. The
morning looked bright and fair. I had no thought that it might
be cold and stormy by nightfall.
JAMIE : Don't worry, Mother. They will be here soon, now that
Neighbor Warren has gone to meet them.
MOTHER (Turning from window with determined cheerfulness) :
Yes. It was kind of Neighbor Warren to offer to go. If little
507
508 THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
Cynthia is tired, he can swing her up in his strong arms and
carry her easily. It is but eight miles to the mill, and the trail is
fairly good. They would have had to travel slowly both ways,
taking the corn and carrying home the sack of ground meal. I am
sure there is no need to worry. Tomorrow I will make a nice
big bowl of Indian pudding with the fresh corn meal.
JAMIE (With satisfaction) : I can't wait to feast on that good In-
dian pudding. Could we have some for Christmas too? And
while we are waiting for than, tell me more about Christmas in
Merrie England when you were a little girl. Tell me more about
the beautiful Christmas boughs the English people have in their
homes.
MOTHER (Laughing) : Oh, Jamie, I have told you of them so
often ! I'd think you'd be tired of Christmas boughs by this time !
JAMIE (Earnestly) : I'd never tire of the Christmas boughs, never!
Tell me again what you tied to the boughs to make them beau-
tiful
MOTHER: Oh, there were sweetmeats, and small toys, and bright
paper flowers, and lighted candles — but best of all I liked the
little golden Wishing Nuts that we always found on our Christ-
mas bough at home.
JAMIE : Wishing Nuts? You never told me of those before. What
were they like?
MOTHER: My grandmother was from Germany. It was she who
made the little golden Wishing Nuts and tied them to the Christ-
mas Bough — one for each of us. She took the nutmeats care-
fully from English Walnuts and saved the empty shells. On a
slip of paper she wrote a wish for the future for each of us. Then
she placed it between two halves of the shell, and glued them
together carefully with a loop of bright ribbon in the top to
fasten them to the bough. Next she gilded them with golden
paint The wishes were read aloud for every one to hear. I will
never forget how happy and proud I was one Christinas when
my wish read "May your new baby doll behave as well as you
have all year/'
JAMIE (Wistfully) : How I wish we might have a lovely Christ-
mas Bough, just once. I shut my eyes and imagine how beautiful
it would look with the gay paper flowers, and the little golden
Wishing Nuts tied to the dark evergreen — and the tiny lighted
candles shining and twinkling like so many bright stars!
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE 509
MOTHER : I wish so too, Jamie. But you know the Elders do not
approve of making mem- at Christmas. They would be very
angry if anyone decorated a Christmas Bough.
JAMIE (Sadly) : I know. But Mother dear, how could you bear
to leave England, with all its fun and feasting at Christmas time?
(There is a sound of stamping feet, and voices outside. MOTHER
hurries to open the door. Enter NEIGHBOR WARREN carrying
little CYNTHIA. He is followed by GEORGE and WILLIAM carry-
ing a sack of cornmeal.)
NEIGHBOR WARREN (Heartily as he sets CYNTHIA carefully on her
feet on the floor) : Greetings, Widow Harcus. Here's your little
girl — all safe and sound. And you'd never guess where I
found her ! In the trunk of a big hollow tree — all cozy and
warm — snug as a bug in a rug!
MOTHER (With great surprise as she unwraps CYNTHIA'S scarf
and removes her hood and cloak) : In the trunk of a hollow tree !
How came she there?
NEIGHBOR WARREN: That's where she was! When your two
smart lads here (Putting a hand an each of the boys9 shoulders)
found that the storm was getting so bad there was danger of los-
ing their way, they saw the huge hollow tree along the trail with
its opening almost as large as a small doorway, and just popped
her in where she was safe from the wind and cold. Then they
both stood guard until they heard me calling. When I got there
she was having a nice little nap for herself!
MOTHER : Oh, I do not know how to thank you, good Sir. I am
so happy to have them all home again — safe from the storm.
Will you not bide awhile with us for a cup of hot soup, after your
cold journey?
NEIGHBOR WARREN: It was nothing, Widow Harcus, nothing.
Little enough to do for a friend and neighbor. But I had best be
getting home myself. Mistress Warren is no doubt waiting
anxiously for word that your two lads are back safely with little
Cynthia and the ground meal you needed so badly. Good night
to you all ! {Exits as they all chorus together — "Good nightf
Neighbor Warren, and thank you kindly!")
MOTHER: Come now, boys, off with your things and help Jamie
to the table. We will have a bit of hot supper now, while you
tell us of the day's adventures.
CURTAIN
* * *
510 THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same.
TIME : Later that same evening.
AT RISE : GEORGE and WILLIAM are discovered seated at table
talking.
WILLIAM : Feels good to be inside out of the storm, doesn't it?
GEORGE: It does that! Warm and full of supper! I was afraid for
awhile we might not get little Cynthia home safely.
WILLIAM : When we were out there in the storm, not knowing
which way to turn, I kept thinking of Father, lost at sea. It was
just about this time of year, three years ago, that he bade us
goodbye in Boston and set sail on the cruise that he hoped would
make his fortune.
GEORGE : Aye ! and just such a wild stormy night as this, Brother,
that we were coming bade home on the stage coach when the
accident happened that crippled poor Jamie. How sad Father
would feel if he knew Jamie had not walked in the three years
since he left
WILLIAM : Wouldn't it be wonderful if he should come home for
Christmas? I keep hoping that he will come, even though the
whole village has long since given up all hope for the safe return
of the crew of the good ship Gallant.
GEORGE : And did you notice how the neighbors have begun to call
mother "the Widow Harcus"? I like it not!
WILLIAM : No more do I ! I can see how it grieves her. But hush,
here she comes now. (Enter MISTRESS HARCUS.)
MOTHER: Boys, now that Cynthia and Jamie are safely in bed,
there is something I wish to talk to you about.
WILUAM : Yes, Mother. We were waiting to talk to you too—
about Christmas.
GEORGE: It's only a fortnight till Christmas Eve.
MOTHER: Just a fortnight — but that will be time enough to carry
out my plans if you will both help me.
WILLIAM: What plans, Mother?
MOTHER: I have made up my mind to give little Cynthia and poor
Jamie a real Christmas. The happy kind I used to have when I
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE 511
was a child in England They have so little pleasure, and Jamie
is possessed with longing to have a Christmas Bough as we did
then. It may even be that the joy of having something he wants
so badly would make him stronger, so that he might walk again.
WILLIAM: Little Cynthia chattered of Christmas on the way to
the mill. She remembers that Father promised her a doll when
he returned — but where would we get decorations, or a doll?
MOTHER : I have planned that too. I will journey to Boston by the
next stage and find what I can in the stores there. Some sweet-
meats, a small doll, a bit of bright paper, some English walnuts
and a tiny vial of gilt paint for the Wishing Nuts. It would take
naught else to make them very happy.
GEORGE (Soberly) : But, Mother, what will happen should the
Elders hear of it. You know how stern they are about such
things. Any merry-making seems to them very wicked. At one
of the last meetings they read aloud the law which says "Whoso-
ever shall be found observing any such day as Christmas, or the
like, either by forbearing labor, or by feasting, or in any other
way, shall be fined five shillings." Think of the disgrace if we
were discovered.
MOTHER: I have thought of it — but I feel that we must take the
risk to make Jamie and Cynthia happy. If we carry out our
plans carefully enough, no one need ever know of it but ourselves.
WILLIAM . On our way to the mill, I saw a beautiful little spruce
tree growing dose beside the trail. It is not far. George and I
can cut it when we go to gather firewood. Some night while
the village sleeps we can drag it home and hide it in the wood-
shed until Christmas eve.
GEORGE: We can make the window dark by nailing a blanket
across the inside so that anyone who might chance to pass by,
will not dream but what we are all asleep in bed as we should be,
instead of wickedly decorating a Christmas Bough !
MOTHER: Then it is all settled. We three will do what we can to
make this Christmas a happy memory for your little sister and
poor Jamie. I have a feeling that your father would wish it this
way. It is late now. Hasten to bed — for you must be up
at dawn to lay in a good supply of firewood before the snow gets
512 THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
too deep. I have faith that your father will return to us some
day, and that he will be very proud of you both, when he does
come.
WILLIAM and GEORGE (Rising) : Good night, Mother dear.
(Start to leave room.)
CURTAIN
# * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The same.
TIME : Christmas Eve.
AT RISE: A smatt, partly decorated spruce stands in one corner
of the room. A blanket is fastened across the window. MISTRESS
HARCUS, WILLIAM and GEORGE are discovered busily putting
the finishing touches on the tree. A small doll is tied to the tree
in plain sight.
WILLIAM: How excited Cynthia will be!
GEORGE : Jamie will love it ! Just think — a whole Christmas tree,
instead of just a Christmas Bough!
MOTHER (Removing cover from box and taking out several silver
Paper stars) : And how fortunate I was to find the tinsel paper to
make these stars I We will put the biggest one on the very tip of
the tree and let the others shine among the branches.
WILLIAM : Give them to me. (Reaches out to take them) George
and I will place the stars while you tie on the Wishing Nuts.
Then our Christmas tree will be ready. Just think, Mother ! The
first Christmas tree in New England! How I wish we could
show it to the whole village, instead of keeping it only for our-
selves 1
GEORGE (Practically) : You know well we cannot do that! We
would be in a pretty peck of trouble if we did !
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE 513
MOTHER (Busily tying on the Wishing Nuts, each with a white
plainly marked name tag} : The good Elders do not mean to be
unkind. They only do what they think is right
GEORGE : Methinks they have forgotten what it is like to be young
and happy!
WILLIAM : And methinks they never knew, or they would not
have forgotten! Nothing as beautiful as our Christmas tree could
be wicked.
MOTHER : It does not seem wicked to me. I have not worked with
such a light heart these many weary months. (Steps back)
There ! It is all finished. Now we will waken Cynthia and Jamie.
WILLIAM: They will be sleepy-eyed at first, but this will soon
open their eyes wide !
MOTHER: Light a taper at the hearth, William, and hold it to the
six little candles, so that they will be shining when Cynthia and
Jamie first see the tree. I have placed this pail of water near it.
Watch the candles very carefully, and put them out at once with
the wet doth if there seems any danger of their burning the
branches. Come with me, George, to help Jamie. I will carry
in little Cynthia. (Exit MOTHER and GEORGE. WILLIAM care-
fully lights the candles and steps back to admire tree. Reenter
MOTHER and GEORGE with CYNTHIA and JAMIE, who are both
rubbing their eyes sleepily with their fists.)
GEORGE: Look, Cynthia! Little sister, look! Look, Jamie! It is
Christmas Eve. We have a Christmas Bough of our own f Isn't
it beautiful?
CYNTHIA and JAMIE (Exclaiming joyously) : Beautiful ! Beautiful!
MOTHER: Hush, dears. We must enjoy it very quietly. No one in
the village must know we have it. The Elders would be very
angry with us.
CYNTHIA (Lowering voice and pointing at tree) : The little doll
on that branch, Mother. Is it mine?
MOTHER: Yes, dear, it is yours. Get it for her, George. (GEORGE
removes doll and places it in her hands. She hugs it rapturously,
then sits down and begins to rock it.)
JAMIE (Softly) : It is even more beautiful than I had dreamed,
Mother. I did not know about the stars !
MOTHER: The stars are on the tree because of a legend that was
written down by the Monks in a Sicilian monastery in the mid-
dle ages.
514 THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
WILLIAM: Tell us the legend about the stars, Mother.
MOTHER: "It was on the first Christmas Eve of all, that Holy
Night when our Lord was born. All the creatures came to wor-
ship in Bethlehem, and the trees did likewise. None of the other
trees came as far as the least among them, a small spruce tree
like this one. It was so weary it could hardly stand, and the
other trees, with their fragrant blossoms, and great trunks and
leafy boughs all but covered up the small stranger. But the stars
saw, and took pity on it, and lo, a rain of them fell down from
Heaven, and the bright Christmas Star alighted on the tip-top
of the little spruce, and all the rest on its branches. And the
Child in the Manger saw the beautiful star-lighted little spruce,
and blessed it with a smile."
JAMIE : That is the loveliest story of all, Mother. No wonder our
little spruce tree holds its stars so proudly.
WILLIAM: Is it time to take off the Wishing Nuts, mother? May
we do that now?
MOTHER: Yes, it is time. I tied them on the lower branches so
Cynthia could reach them. See if you can find one for each of
us, Cynthia. When you have found one bring it to me and I
will tell you whose name it bears.
GEORGE : Hurry, sister ! I want to know my wish for the future !
CYNTHIA (Running to tree, removes one of the Wishing Nuts and
brings it to her mother) : Whose wish is this, Mother?
MOTHER: It is for you, yourself, little daughter. Press it apart,
and we will read your wish. (CYNTHIA opens nut and removes
folded slip of paper. MOTHER reads from it.) "May your new
little dolly be a good child like her new little mother."
CYNTHIA (Laughing delightedly) : Oh, she will be! I'm sure she
will! She is much too pretty to ever be naughty! (Runs back to
tree and brings another nut to MOTHER) Is this one for George?
MOTHER: No, this one is for William. Take it to him.
WILLIAM (Opens nut, removes slip of paper and reads aloud) :
"May you grow up to be as wise and just a man as good Gov-
ernor Bradford for whom you were named." (Smiles at
MOTHER.)
CYNTHIA: / think he is as wise as Governor Bradford right now!
It was William who thought of putting me into the hollow tree
to keep warm. (Runs to tree) This time I will find your wish,
George. (Removes another nut and takes it to MOTHER.)
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE 515
MOTHER (Looking at name tag) : Yes, George, now you will know
your wish. (Hands it to him.)
GEORGE (Opens it and reads) : "May your father soon know how
bravely and well you have carried on in his place." (Quietly)
Thank you, Mother. I have tried to think each day what he
would wish me to do. (CYNTHIA removes another nut from the
tree and gives it to her MOTHER.)
MOTHER (In pleased surprise) : Why, this one has my name on it !
Who could have fixed a Wishing Nut for me? (Opens it and
reads) "May this coming year see the safe return of Captain
David Harcus and the good ship Gallant."
WILLIAM : George and I made it for you, Mother. We know it's
what you want most of all.
MOTHER : It is indeed. I have faith that another Christmas will
find us reunited.
JAMIE: Now, Cynthia, do try to find a wish for me!
CYNTHIA (Searching through tree branches) : Here it is Jamie.
It must be yours. All the rest of us have one. (Gives it to him.)
JAMIE (Opens nut and reads slip of paper) : "May it please the
good Lord to make you well and strong, Jamie Boy, so that you
may run about and play with the others." (Speaking to MOTH-
ER) I do fed stronger already. Each day I will try to walk a
little.
CYNTHIA : I'm sorry there are no more littk golden Wishing Nuts
for me to find.
MOTHER: But there is one more, Cynthia. I made one for your
father too. When you find it we will put it away, and let him
open it when he does return. Then he will know we thought of
him this Christmas Eve. (As CYNTHIA searches through the
branches for her father's Wishing Nut, the others sit quietly ad-
miring the tree. Suddenly she spies it and cries out) Oh, I see it !
Here it is ! (Begins to remove it from the tree. Suddenly in the
stillness there sounds the tramp of many feet outside — a light
tapping on the window, a loud rapping on the doorf the mingling
of excited voices. Someone outside calls loudly — "Mistress
Harcus! Mistress Harcus! Make haste to unbolt your doorf
All except JAMIE spring to their feet in terrified alarm.)
GEORGE (In stricken tones) : We are discovered ! How could they
have found out?
516 THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE
WILLIAM : Don't unbolt the door, Mother. I will put out the can-
dles. We will make no sound and go quietly to bed and pretend
to be asleep. (CYNTHIA begins to sob softly.)
MOTHER (Bravely) : No. We have had our happy Christmas Eve.
They cannot take that from us. I will unbolt the door, and we
will take our punishment together. (Loud rapping is renewed.
Voice calls urgently — ''Mistress Harcus! Mistress Harcus!
Awaken! Awaken! Let us in!" She goes slowly to the door and
opens it wide. Enter CAPTAIN DAVID HARCUS, followed by
NEIGHBOR WARREN, ELDER HOPKINS, and excited VILLAGERS
who crowd into the room after him. WILLIAM and GEORGE step
close to their MOTHER'S side. CYNTHIA clings to her skirts.)
CAPTAIN HARCUS (Shouts) : Ahoy, my hearties! (Seises his
wife's hand and places one arm across GEORGE'S shoulders.)
MISTRESS HARCUS: Oh, David! David! I knew you would come
back to usl
NEIGHBOR WARREN : This afternoon the stage driver brought the
news that the Gallant had been sighted off shore.
CAPTAIN HARCUS : Aye ! When the Gallant finally docked in Bos-
ton Harbor the Stage had already gone — so I started home
afoot.
ELDER HOPKINS: We knew he would waste no time in getting
home to his family, so we waited at the edge of the village to
meet him, to help him awaken you, and to share in your happy
surprise. (Suddenly notices decorated tree. Points to it and
speaks very sternly) But what is this foolishness? Mistress
Harcus, it would seem that you were not sleeping quietly as we
had supposed, but were wickedly disobeying the laws of the
Colony !
MISTRESS HARCUS (Falteringly) : We — It was but —
GEORGE (Interrupting) : The fault was mine. I cut the spruce.
I wanted —
WILLIAM (Interrupting) : It is hot so! The fault was entirely
mine. I thought to please little Cynthia with the decorated tree.
JAMIE (Suddenly stands up — takes a few steps forward to center
of stage and interrupts dramatically) : No! No! Do not blame
any of them. The fault is entirely mine. I kept asking for a
Christmas Bough like they have in each home in Merrie England.
Is it not beautiful? Nothing so beautiful could be wicked It is
not Mother's fault. She did it all for me, I tell you ! To bring me
THE FIRST NEW ENGLAND CHRISTMAS TREE 517
happiness, because I cannot run about and play with the others.
NEIGHBOR WARREN : The boy is right, Elder Hopkins. What can
be wicked about bringing happiness to a wee girl and a crippled
lad?
VILLAGERS (In chorus) : What indeed ! He is right ! (ELDER
HOPKINS nods and smiles at CYNTHIA as she steps out beside
JAMIE.)
CYNTHIA : Look, Father, my new dolly — and here is your golden
Wishing Nut. Open it quickly. Mother wrote the wish inside just
for you. (Hands it to her FATHER) Read it to us.
CAPTAIN HARCUS (Opens the nut and removes slip of paper and
reads aloud) : "David, I would like to hear you sing again 'Oh
Little Town of Bethlehem* as you did long ago when you were a
choir boy in England." (There is a moment of silence. The
whole group looks expectantly at CAPTAIN HARCUS. He clears
his throat loudly and speaks to them) It is my good wife's first
request in three years — and a fitting one it is for Christmas
Eve. I will sing it for her — and for you my good neighbors.
(Steps over beside the little Christmas tree — faces audience and
sings "Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem")
THE END
THE LITTLE CAKE
by E. Clayton McCarty
Characters
SONIA
MARIA
MOTHER
OLD MAN
NATALIA
SECOND GIRL
THIRD GIRL
THE CAPTAIN
OTHER GIRLS
CAROLERS
SETTING : It is Christmas Eve in a little medieval kingdom. All the
day, peasants and rich townsmen have been collecting at the
Duke's castle, for there is to be a feast in the great hall tonight,
and the king mil grace it with his presence. But we are in a
comfortable room of a wealthy villager's house.
AT RISE : Outside sleigh bells jingle, men call cheery greetings to
one another, and the music of carols sounds sometimes close* at
hand and sometimes softened by distance. Inside SONIA, haugh-
ty, with a disdainful curl to her lip, stands in the window. Her
MOTHER sews at the table. MARIA, a child of twelve, packs a
huge basket of food near the fireplace.
SONIA : Hurry, Mother. Gregory just drove by with his sleigh full
of mistletoe. (The music becomes louder. There is a definite
march rhythm to the Christmas song as the footsteps of the
CAROLERS beat time. The sleigh bells die away.)
MARIA : Here come the carolers. (She runs to the window.)
MOTHER: Maria, finish packing your basket
MARIA : May I watch them pass?
SONIA: There isn't time. Mother, hurry. (MARIA comes slowly
back to the fireplace where she works. The song grows louder
518
THE LITTLE CAKE 519
until the melody drowns all voices within, and then the music
begins to fade as the singers pass beyond the house.)
MARIA: Are they going to the castle?
SONIA (With a short laugh) : The mayor's daughter expects to
sit at the King's right hand. She can ill afford to equal the gift
I shall present to the poor tonight.
MOTHER: Aye, and neither can we. You will have us in the poor-
house with your offering. Who told you about the mayor's
daughter?
SONIA : Natalia. She told me the mayor vowed I should never win
over his daughter.
MARIA: I wish I might lay a gift for the poor upon the King's
table tonight.
SONIA (Laughing) : What have you to give?
MARIA : Nothing.
SONIA: Nothing! (Laughs.) A gift fit for a king indeed!
MOTHER: Sonia, stop teasing the child. Now, Maria, finish your
work and stop that dreaming. You have nothing to take. Your
mother left me little enough for your keep. No gift can come out
of that
MARIA : I would like to give something — no matter how small.
There would be lights and music — and offerings of silver and
gifts of crystal and gold. And I would place mine when no one
looked — and see the King give them to the poor — even mine.
SONIA : There is another beggar in the lane.
MOTHER : Leave the window, Sonia. He may see you and come
asking for something.
SONIA : There are more this year than ever before.
MOTHER : Aye, they flock like flies to honey.
MARIA: It is because they want to share in the feast our King
gives to the poor.
SONIA: One of them stopped me this afternoon by the church.
I thought I should never get away. His eyes seemed to burn
through me — as if he wanted to take the very rings from my
fingers.
MOTHER: The King's men should scoutge such vermin from the
highway. Come, Sonia. Your dress is ready. Hurry into it or we
shall be late. See that the basket is packed when we return,
Maria. (They leave. Music is again heard in the distance. A
sleigh jingles past, and someone calls out cheerily. MARIA looks
520 THE LITTLE CAKE
wistfully at the snowy world outside. As she turns away from
the window a knock is heard. She opens the door. An OLD MAN
stands there. He is bent with age and clutches a huge cloak tight-
ly about him. From the depths of his hood a lean, hawk-like face
looks forth.)
MARIA: Oh!
OLD MAN : I am cold. May I warm myself at your fire?
MARIA (Doubtfully) : Yes — yes. I don't think they'd mind. (The
OLD MAN comes down to the fire.) Here is a stool.
OLD MAN : Thank you. Why are there so many people in the town
tonight?
MARIA : They all go to the King's feast for the poor.
OLD MAN : Are you going?
MARIA : I must stay here to mind the fire. But Sonia and Aunty
will go. Everyone will have such fun with the music and lights
and food, and it will be warm and beautiful. The King will be
there to give to the poor all the gifts which we lay upon his table.
Listen, you can hear the music now. And he who brings the
greatest offering will sit at the King's right hand and be honored
in all the land throughout the new year.
OLD MAN: And why is that honor given? (He asks the question
almost too casually.)
MARIA : Our King is good. He does not wish the poor to want for
food, and he rewards those who care for them.
OLD MAN : And all are welcome to his feast?
MARIA: Yes.
OLD MAN : Even one like me?
MARIA : Yes. And the King will give you gifts with his own hands.
I wish I could be there to see Sonia sit at his right.
OLD MAN*: Has the King chosen her?
MARIA : No. But none can bring a richer gift than hers. It is a cas-
ket of jewels — a fortune. And the King will be pleased because
she loved the poor so much.
OLD MAN : Aye, she must love the poor to bring so rich a thing.
(The MOTHER comes back from the hall.)
MOTHER: Maria, have you finished? (Notices OLD MAN.) What
are you doing here?
OLD MAN : I was cold. I came to warm myself at your fire.
MOTHER: Maria, did you let him in?
MARIA : I didn't think you'd mind —
THE LITTLE CAKE 521
MOTHER: We are too busy to bother with you today, old man, so
I'm afraid you'll have to go.
MARIA : But he isn't warm yet
OLD MAN: It is cold outside.
MOTHER: They will take care of such as you at the castle. (Ou>
MAN stands, looks her in the eye.)
OLD MAN (Slowly) : All through the mountains they talk of the
hospitality of this town on Christmas Eve.
MOTHER: Plenty will be given you at th<; King's feast. Open the
door, Maria. (CAROLERS are heard approaching.)
OLD MAN (Going) : All this day I have looked for someone with
compassion in his heart — someone who gave not for vanity but
for the love in his heart. It is cold outside, mother, and your fire
is large enough to warm one more.
MOTHER : Hold your tongue and be gone.
OLD MAN : Mother, when you turn me away you turn away your
King. He himself has said it. It is in his proclamation in the
public square. Read it. (His eyes burn into hers. For a moment
she draws back, but she recovers herself and turns to the child.)
MOTHER: Maria, you haven't packed the sausages. Come, child.
Close the door when you leave, old man.
OLD MAN : A house is much better with the blessing of those who
cross its threshold — even though they be beggars. (Leaves and
calls back over shoulder.) Take care lest a beggar's curse bring
ill fortune in the new year. (CAROLERS pass near the house and
the music rings loudly in the frosty air. On the heels of the
singers come NATALIA and several other girls, richly dressed and
bubbling with excitement. They knock.)
MOTHER : Maria ! Open the door.
MARIA : Yes, Aunty. (She opens it. The GIRLS enter talking.)
MOTHER: Natalia, you're early.
NATALIA : Didn't you hear them singing? They are already begin-
ning.
SECOND GIRL: Did that beggar come from here?
THIRD GIRL : Only an hour ago he was on our doorstep muttering
curses against those "whose giving is a lie." (Laughs.) Lena
sent him packing fast enough.
NATALIA: I don't like him. The light of the devil is in his eyes.
He frightens me.
SECOND GIRL : Where is Sonia? (She warms her hands at the fire.)
522 THE LITTLE CAKE
MOTHER: Maria, child, fetch Sonia. (MARIA leaves. MOTHER in-
spects basket on table.) Oh that child ! Where are the puddings?
And the sausages? She has forgotten them.
NATALIA: She has been dreaming again perhaps. (Crosses to
window.)
MOTHER: I'll teach her to — (MARIA enters.) So there you are.
Where are the puddings and sausages? And where is Sonia?
I thought I told you to fetch her.
MARIA : She will be here soon.
MOTHER: Find those puddings.
MARIA: They are on the table, aunty. I haven't had time to pack
them yet. (Crosses to fireplace and carries puddings to basket.)
MOTHER: Then hurry. And don't let me catch you dreaming
again.
NATALIA: All the poor in the village are hurrying to the feast.
SECOND GIRL: They are hoping for a sight of the King.
THIRD GIRL: Or to fill their stomachs.
SECOND GIRL: Give them the leavings from the Duke's table, and
let them see the King descend from his carriage, and they are
satisfied to live another year in filth and rags.
THIRD GIRL: Does Sonia have her gift?
MOTHER: Aye, and a grand one.
NATALIA (Sits) : Is it better than that of the mayor's daughter?
MOTHER: Aye. (Sharply) Maria!
MARIA (Starts) : Yes?
MOTHER: We are late now. Finish packing that basket. What are
you dreaming about?
NATALIA (Laughs) : Dreaming she would make the best gift to
the poor and be chosen to sit at the King's right hand.
MARIA (Confused, sits on stool) : I can't help it.
NATALIA (Scoffs) : Whafgift will you give to the poor, child?
THIRD GIRL: Nothing less than a king's ransom, I'm sure.
SECOND GIRL: You cannot give anything worthy to the poor. And
the King would choose only the richest and most beautiful to sit
beside him.
MOTHER (Harshly) : Leave off dreaming, child. You cannot even
go to the feast. You have no gift.
MARIA : I could give the little cake Sonia dropped in the ashes, the
one you said I might have for my dinner. (ALL laugh.) I know
it isn't grand enough for the King to notice —
THE LITTLE CAKE 523
NATALIA: Hardly.
MARIA : But I would like to make a gift to the poor, and that is all
I have. (SECOND GIRL goes up to window.)
MOTHER: You won't have that if you make us late. Is that basket
packed? (THIRD GIRL crosses to fable.)
MARIA : Yes. And may I have the little sausage that is broken?
MOTHER: No. Bring the basket here. And go tell Sonia to hurry.
(SONIA enters.)
NATALIA (Jumps up) : Here she comes. Sonia, did you hear the
news? (SONIA crosses to MOTHER. NATALIA crosses to SONIA.)
SONIA (Crossly) : Mother, is my hair all right? What news?
MOTHER: Yes.
NATALIA : You can't sit beside the King.
SONIA (Shrilly) : What?
NATALIA: Maria here has a gift better than yours. She will be
chosen this Christmas.
SONIA (Laughs) : Oh, she will, eh?
SECOND GIRL (Crosses) : She will give to the poor a basket of
jewels.
MOTHER: Leave off teasing the child. She'll be believing you in a
minute, and then I'll never get any work out of her. (Carries
basket off.)
MARIA : No. I know they're laughing at me. I don't want to sit
with the grand people —
SECOND GIRL: Such humility. She is a princess at least.
MARIA : I am not good enough — nor rich enough —
SONIA : With a mountain of gold?
MARIA : I only want to give something to the poor — my little
cake —
THIRD GIRL : Make way for the princess to give her little cake to
the poor.
MARIA : But I didn't meaa to —
MOTHER (Calling from hall) : Are you teasing that child again?
SONIA: No, Mother. (In a moment the OLD MAN enters and
stands watching them gravely. They suddenly discover him and
gather in a group plainly afraid of him.) Who is fhat?
NATALIA: It's that old beggar I saw in the public square this
morning,
SECOND GIRL: He was asking everyone for alms.
THIRD GIRL: Probably he heard of Maria's little ash-covered cake.
524 THE LITTLE CAKE
NATALIA : Send him away. He frightens me.
SONIA (Crossly) : What do you want?
OLD MAN : A little morsel of food. I am hungry.
SONIA : We haven't any.
OLD MAN : Just a little. Just one bit out of the basket you are tak-
ing to the feast.
SONIA : Go to the castle. We have no time to bother with you.
OLD MAN : And a moment to warm myself at your fire. It is cold
tonight.
SONIA: No.
MARIA : I will give him my little cake.
NATALIA : Let Maria give him her cake.
SONIA : We have nothing for you. Go.
OLD MAN : Just a moment to warm myself at your fire.
SONIA: Go.
NATALIA : Hurry, old man.
MARIA : Give him my cake.
SONIA : No.
OLD MAN (Mumbles) : Even as you do it unto the least of these —
SONIA : What are you mumbling?
OLD MAN : When rich folk cannot spare a crust then the land is
poor indeed. ( SONIA follows him across center, but suddenly
the OLD MAN turns. She shrinks back, afraid of something she
sees in his eyes.)
SONIA: Go. This moment 1
OLD MAN (Fiercely) : Give, if you will, only when you are re-
warded for giving. But I say to you he who gives in such a way
shall not reap the benefit of that giving, and on his house shall
be the blight of the beggar's curse. (The OLD MAN leaves mut-
tering. There is a momentary silence.)
NATALIA : I don't like the look in his eye. He's a vicious old man.
THIRD GIRL : Of all the times for something like that to happen !
MOTHER (Coming to door) : Hurry, Sonia. We'll be late.
SONIA (Upset) : Where is my cloak? I'm all upset. (NATALIA
runs up to window.)
MOTHER: Maria!
MARIA: Yes?
MOTHER: Fetch Sonia's cloak. (Crosses to SONIA. MARIA obeys.)
NATALIA: Hurry. (Everybody is talking at once.)
MOTHER: Smooth your hair.
THE LITTLE CAKE 525
MARIA : Here is your cloak.
SONIA: Help me.
SECOND GIRL: Huny.
THIRD GIRL : The mayor just drove to the hall.
NATALIA : Hurry, before the King arrives.
SONIA: I shall look a sight to sit beside the King. Where is my
gift?
MARIA: Here. (Brings it from table.)
MOTHER: Now, we're ready. Maria, don't let the fire go out
MARIA: I won't
MOTHER: And mind you, don't leave this house to watch the danc-
ing as you did last year. (There comes the sound of far-away
carols.)
MARIA : May I just peep through the window?
MOTHER: No.
SECOND GIRL: Hurry! Well miss something.
MARIA : Will you take my little cake to give to the poor?
MOTHER: No.
SONIA: I would look fine giving a cake to the King.
THIRD GIRL: They're starting. (All leave. MARIA stands at win-
dow listening to song. She cries quietly. The OLD MAN enters
softly. The music is not so loud now, but it continues with brief
pauses until the end of the play.)
OLD MAN : Do you want to go with them?
MARIA (Answering before she thinks) : Yes. (Gasps) Oh!
OLD MAN : They are gone now. May I warm myself at your fire?
MARIA : Yes — yes. How did you get in? I didn't see you come.
OLD MAN : Why are you here alone?
MARIA : They have all gone to the Christmas feast.
OLD MAN: Didn't you want to go?
MARIA : Yes. Listen, they are singing again. (The music becomes
louder. MARIA goes to the window.)
OLD MAN : It is very pretty.
MARIA : Yes. And there are lights, and food — little round sau-
sages — and puddings — and spice cakes — . The King will be
there.
OLD MAN (To himself) : The King.
MARIA : And Sonia will sit at his right.
OLD MAN : But surely there are other gifts. Why does your cousin
sit by the King?
526 THE LITTLE CAKE
MARIA : No gift can be grander than hers. A whole casket of jew-
els. They will shine. Oh, I want to see them.
OLD MAN : Why don't you go?
MARIA (Turns away) : I must stay here — to keep the house
warm.
OLD MAN: But surely everyone must take a gift to the poor on
Christmas Eve. The King would wish it. Why are you not there
with yours?
MARIA : I have nothing but. my little cake.
OLD MAN: Cake?
MARIA : The one Sonia dropped in the ashes — and they gave it to
me for my supper. No one wants it — not even the poor.
Ou5 MAN : How do you know ?
MARIA: I couldn't lay my cake beside all the jewels and bright
new gold pieces. (Crosses down center.) No one would let me
do that.
OLD MAN: But the King wants everyone to make a gift to the
poor, no matter how small.
MARIA : But I must stay here to keep the fire. They will beat me if
I don't.
OLD MAN : I will keep it for you until you come back. Go, child.
MARIA : I'm afraid.
OLD MAN : Go quickly. The King would want everyone at his
feast. Go long enough to lay your cake on the table.
MARIA : If I only dared.
OLD MAN : I promise you the fire will be blazing when you come
back.
MARIA : 111 go. (Crosses right.)
OLD MAN : Child.
MARIA: Yes?
OLD MAN : I am hungry. May I have something to eat while you
are gone?
MARIA: Oh! — Oh!
OLD MAN : Just a crust of bread.
MARIA : They won't let me. There is nothing but my supper — my
little cake.
OLD MAN : I am hungry.
MARIA : But I cannot give it to the poor if I let you eat it.
OLD MAN : I have traveled all day without food.
MARIA: I will get it for you. (Gives it to him.) There will be so
many gifts. They won't miss my little cake. (She looks wistfully
toward the window as the singing becomes louder.)
THE LITTLE CAKE 527
OLD MAN (Takes it) : Don't you want to sit beside the King?
MARIA : Only the giver of the richest gift may do that
OLD MAN : But sometimes the richest gift does not come from the
heart.
MARIA : The King won't know that. You are hungry. Eat my little
cake.
OUD MAN : No. Listen ! They are singing. (Crosses to window and
back.) Run, child. And when the King comes, give him your
little cake.
MARIA (Hesitates) : But —
OLD MAN : Hurry. And child, a gift that comes from the heart the
King will know above all others, though it be only a little cake.
MARIA : No. I could not take it to the King when you are hungry.
Please eat it
OLD MAN: You are good, child. (There is a noise outside. The
CAPTAIN, a huge man resplendent in scarlet and gold strides into
the room. His glance darts restlessly about.)
CAPTAIN: Your majesty! (The OLD MAN stands and seems to
grow in height until his stature equals that of his aide.)
OLD MAN : What is it, Captain?
MARIA (Realizing) : Oh!
CAPTAIN : Your majesty, everyone is assembled at the castle and
they await you.
KING : Thank you, Captain. (He throws off the beggar's cloak and
reveals the King's robes beneath.) We shall take this girl with
us. Tonight she is to sit beside me.
MARIA : Your majesty, I have nothing to give.
KING: The gift you offered to your King came truly from the
heart. Your little cake is worth more than all the gold and silver
in my kingdom.
MARIA : But your majesty, my aunt and Sonia would not like it.
KING: One of my men shall tend your fire, child. All day I have
wandered among the people of this town and all have turned me
away — but you showed kindness to a beggar and your King is
grateful. Call my carriage, Captain.
CAPTAIN : Yes, sire. (Steps to door.)
KING: We must go to the Christmas Eve feast. Come.
MARIA : Oh ! And I will see the lights and hear the music — (The
KING throws his cape around her and leads her to the door. The
music rises to a triumphal chorus as the curtain falls.)
THE END
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
by Grace Evelyn Mills
Characters
THE STRANGER
MAYOR
THE TOYMAN
DOLLS, who walk and dance
Miss JENKINS
CITIZENS
CHILDREN AT THE ORPHANAGE
ROSEMARY RALPH
ELSIE ALICE
JOE SUE
IRMA FRED
BETTY PEGGY
ANN ALMA
ANGELINE BOB
NANCY HUGHIE
RUTH PETE
DICK JOHN
ANDY
SCENE 1
SETTING: Town Hatt of Hamelin.
AT RISE: People of Hamelin are sitting, or standing about the
Town Hall. At the table sits THE MAYOR, with a large book
open before him, in which he apparently makes notations with
his pen. Everyone seems very serious; a couple of gentlemen
look over his shoulder; a clerk, perhaps, hands him notes across
the table. A STRANGER enters hesitantly.
STRANGER: Pardon me, my good people. I trust I son not in-
truding. (The people move back suspiciously, as if to make
room for him. THE MAYOR lays down his pen.) I am a stran-
528
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELZN 529
ger in your village; I met no one, and came hither. May I
ask why you are gathered here with such sad faces?
IST CITIZEN : We are met because of a sad anniversary.
STRANGER (Leans on his staff to listen. People eye him very sus-
piciously) : Anniversary? Anniversary of what? And what a
strange town it is, anyway; do you know, I have not seen a
child since I entered it.
2ND CITIZEN: That is the reason for our sad anniversary.
STRANGER: You speak in riddles.
3RD CITIZEN: Have you not heard what happened in Hamelin?
MAYOR: Methought all the world knew our tragedy. Tell him;
make short work of the story; and then, Sir, we shall appre-
ciate it if you do not tarry here.
STRANGER: Nay, do not tell me, my friends, if the telling is in-
deed so painful as I see by your countenances it is. (They
gather about; several start to speak at once — "Strange that
you have not heard" — "From what land do you come?" "Sure-
ly you are from a far country indeed — ") Yes, I am from a far
country. Never have I seen so many sad faces.
4TH CITIZEN : We have reason to be sad. It is a long story, and
one we thought the whole world knew. Once upon a time,
Hamelin was visited with a plague of rats. There were rats
everywhere. No one was safe from them. They drove us, lit-
erally, out of house and home. Rats threatened our peace, our
security, our very lives. We knew that steps must be taken —
STH CITIZEN (Interrupting) : So we went to the Mayor. We told
him something must be done. He was a well-meaning man,
but a weak one. He did not know what to do, any more than
we did. As the meeting was still in progress, in came the Piper.
STRANGER: The Piper?
6TH CITIZEN: Aye. The Piper. He made a bargain with us.
He said he would rid our town of rats, for a thousand guilders.
STRANGER : A fair offer, I should think, since the rats were so bad.
7TH CITIZEN: Aye, but he did the thing so easily. He simply
stepped to the door, blew three notes on that outlandish horn
of his, and out came the rats — 'twas no effort on his part, the
scoundrel !
STH CITIZEN : They came out of every house, and barn and shed
in Hamelin. An army of rats followed the Piper— followed as
he piped through our streets, straight to the river brink. And
530 CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
then, the stupid rats fell in, and were drowned in the swift
Weser. It was all a part of the spell he'd put upon them.
STRANGER: And then, I suppose, you paid him?
IST CITIZEN : Nay ! Then we did not pay him anything ; and bit-
terly must we regret it. (Voice among the mothers, "Aye, bit-
terly") The thing had been so easily done; we needed the
money for other things ; it had been a bad year, and the rats
had pkyed havoc. We people of Hamelin pride ourselves on
our thrift, and on our ability to drive a bargain.
9rn CITIZEN : But here was a fellow who would not be bargained
with. It was a thousand guilders or nothing —
lOrn CITIZEN: And we refused to listen to his threat. More
fools we! He played again — (Here he pauses, as if overcome;
others bury their faces in their hands, or ga&e stonily away.)
And our children, our dear, innocent children — followed just
as the rats had done.
STRANGER: The same?
HTH CITIZEN: Nay — for they were not drowned. We feared
they would be. We were rooted to our places. We could not
move to help our little ones. But the villain turned aside at the
river — they turned too. Up the mountainside* they went, the
Piper leading them forever from us —
12TH CITIZEN: And a door in the mountainside opened to re-
ceive them. He went in— our children followed; the door
closed, and we have never seen them since. They are lost to
us forever.
STRANGER: A terrible calamity, truly.
MAYOR : All joy went from us, along with the children. You can
see, perhaps, Sir, why we like not strangers. Ever since that
fatal day, we have been suspicious of strangers in our midst.
STRANGER: No need, good Sir, to fed at all suspicious about me.
I am but a poor countryman, and my heart aches for you —
since you say that joy has gone from you forever.
13TE CITIZEN : Every year, we meet several times to commemo-
rate the occasion. They left on the twenty-second of July—
STRANGER: This then, is not the anniversary?
13TH CITIZEN : No, this is the half-yearly commemoration of the
sad event. You see, we endeavor to keep things exactly as the
children liked to have them — in case they should come back, you
know.
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN 531
ANOTHER: But they do not come! They do not come!
14TH CITIZEN: All is exactly as they would like it to be. Down
by the stream, the grapevine swings are allowed to grow ; the
teeter-tauters, the rope swings, the trapezes, the playhouse, are
all kept in perfect condition. The toymaker keeps a fresh sup-
ply of toys always on hand.
SKD CITIZEN: And every year, he makes more marvelous toys!
4xn CITIZEN : At last, he has even achieved dolls that walk, dolls
that talk, dolls that dance, and dolls that sing.
STH CITIZEN : Nowhere in all the world are there such toys as
ours.
TTH CITIZEN : He made them life-size — he thought if they looked
like children, it might comfort the mothers.
STH CITIZEN : But what is a mechanical doll, to one who has had
a real child to love?
9rn CITIZEN: It is a comfort to our oereaved hearts to know
that if they should come back, at any season of the year, they
will find things as they most wish to have them ; the finest ber-
ries are left unpicked, the nuts are left ungathered in the Fall;
the cookie jars are always full; thick new mittens await their
hands, skates are kept bright — all is in readiness for their return.
STRANGER: May I see those dolls that walk and talk and sing?
MAYOR: Stay and see them if you like; the toymaker will bring
them in — he won't mind. Call him, will you, somebody?
(Someone goes out and returns immediately with a little bent
man in spectacles and apron and whiskers.)
TOYMAKER: Something's gone wrong with Belinda. (He scratches
his head in perplexity.)
lOrn CITIZEN: That's the talking doll, sir. This gentleman
(Turns to TOYMAKER.) wants to see the dolls.
TOYMAN : Just a minute. If one of you gentlemen will help me,
I'll be glad to bring them in. Sorry about Belinda. Some-
thing's wrong with her works. (He goes off, followed by a
couple of men who will assist him.)
STRANGER: Who's that funny old lady over there? (The "funny
old lady" sits up straight and tall, all during this, with glasses
and a bonnet on, a book on her lap, and a ruler or pointer held
stiff and upright in her hand. She appears not to notice the
others, but relaxes to watch the dolls presently)
HTH CITIZEN: S-sh. That's the schoolmistress. She's not quite
532 CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
right here (Touches head.) since the children went away. We
never knew how much she loved the children, until it happened.
Every day she opens the schoolhouse door as usual — no one has
the heart to tell her not to ; we continue to pay her her salary
just as if she were really teaching— (A citizen near him lays a
hand on his arm, saying, "Here's the Toyman." There is the
whirr of toys being wound; it may be a loud mechanical toy, or
a couple of eggbeaters beating rapidly offstage; the WALKING
DOLLS walk across the stage, very stiffly* They enter from the
direction the TOYMAN went in, walk across stage, where a cit-
izen gently turns each in turn to the audience, and they stop,
looking expressionlessly straight ahead; last of all comes the
TOYMAN towing the DANCING DOLL, who is limp and graceless.
The TOYMAN winds and the doll goes into her specialty dance
— stiffly at first — then like a person, as of course, she is; at the
end, she goes stiff and wobbly and collapses. The TOYMAN
helps her off, winding her up just enough so she can make it;
there is a whirr as each of the remaining dolls is wound up by a
citizen; they go off, stiffly the way they came.)
STH CITIZEN: Do they not look real?
STRANGER: Indeed they do! What about the singing doll?
MAYOR: I'd rather not embarrass the toyman. He is very sensi-
tive, and feels to blame for Belinda's trouble. It is a beautiful
doll — a work of art — but some of her delicate mechanism has
become broken, apparently.
TOYMAN (Reappearing): Here she is! Here's Belinda! (Cit«
izens cry "She works!" BELINDA is brought in; she is wound
up; there is a different whirr — the kind of whirr a mechanical
toy makes when the spring is released. The TOYMAN looks
troubled. Shakes head, and produces from his apron pocket an
oil can. He applies it, and winds again. This time BELINDA
opens her mouth, and crumples up in a heap on the floor.)
TOYMAN: Oh, my poor Belinda! Help me, someone. (Two men
support BELINDA between them and take her out. The TOYMAN
follows, looking unhappy.)
STRANGER : What a pity there are no children to enjoy them !
9rn CITIZEN: Do we not know it?
IST CITIZEN: Would we not give our lives, if our children could
see them?
STRANGER: If not your children — why not others?
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN 533
MAYOR: Sirl You speak like a madman. No other children will
ever be welcomed here! We will have no children but our own!
STRANGER: My friends, listen to me. As I passed through a
town not far from here, I visited an orphanage; a cold, bleak,
cheerless place, with a cold and cheerless woman in charge of
it. I did a few tricks, told some old jokes, played a few games
with those unfortunate children. My friends, you have no
children; think, I beseech you, of the far more desolate state
of those children who have no parents. Friends — do not nour-
ish your own sorrow forever. Think of those more afflicted
than you —
2ND CITIZEN : I knew it was a mistake to be cordial to you !
STRANGER: You are selfish —
SRD CITIZEN : Who are you to call us selfish?
ANOTHER: Aye — who indeed?
STRANGER: Who I am, makes no difference. I shall go, for I
like not your dreary town. Through greed, you lost your chil-
dren; through selfishness, you destroy your souls. You say
yourselves, that joy has gone from you. Your hearts are hard.
You are not willing to give these other little ones the joy that
belongs to childhood. Until you think of others, you will never
know peace.
4-TH CITIZEN: Away with this rude stranger!
IST CITIZEN: Soft! We dare not hurry him urgently away — we
did that once — to our sorrow!
STRANGER : I go, of my own accord. Friends, yonder is the spire
of a great cathedral. Go there to make your decision. Go there
• — and may the spirit of the Christmas season enter into your
hearts. (He goes.)
HTH CITIZEN: What manner of man is this? (They look
strangely at one another.)
12TH CITIZEN : Something about him awakens an old thought —
old words I had almost forgotten — "I was a stranger, and ye
took me not in — "
7TH CITIZEN : We need decide nothing rashly ; but this I know.
Another Christmas approaches. Too long it has been an empty
day. Can we face another childless festival? (Cries of "no"
as curtain closes.')
* * *
534 CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMBLIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: The Orphanage.
AT RISE : A group of children of all ages are grouped about a big
girl, ROSEMARY. She is telling them a story.
ROSEMARY :
"And I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
ELSIE: I never saw Santa Claus.
JOE: Nor I.
ROSEMARY : Some day, p'raps you wilL
IRMA : Not here. Miss Jenkins doesn't approve of him.
BETTY: I guess he doesn't come to orphan asylums.
ANN: Tell us about when you were little, Rosemary, and had
parents and a home and everything.
ANGELINE: What was it your mother called you?
ROSEMARY: She called me "Bunny." We lived hi a little white
house. And we did have the grandest time at Christmas.
NANCY : Tell us again about the Christmas cookies.
ROSEMARY: My mother had special cutters she used only at
Christmas—
RUTH : I like to hear about the pink ones best. I had some once.
A lady sent them to me. In a box.
ROSEMARY: My Daddy had made those cutters himself, so there
weren't any like them in the whole world. There was a bird,
and a squirrel and a fish and an elephant. They had red candy
eyes— my mother let me put the eyes in. And we'd have gifts,
all done up so beautiful; and we'd sing carols and have a tree —
DICK : So'll we have a tree. And sing carols. We always do.
ROSEMARY: Yes — I'm glad. You can look at the tree and imag-
ine you're home. There'll be a good dinner, too — chicken may-
be— and ice-cream. And toys. The rich children always send
us the toys they don't want any more —
RALPH : Aw ! I'd like a toy just for me!
ELSIE: Why, Rosemary, you're crying!
ROSEMARY: Oh, no. It's just a cold— and remembering. (Wipes
eyes.) It isn't the tree and the lights and the cookies and the
gifts that make Christinas — it's being loved by one's very own
people.
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN 535
RUTH : I had an aunt once.
JOE: I never had any.
ANOTHER : Nor I.
ANOTHER: Nor I.
ALICE : Oh, I had a doll once. I guess I was too little to appre-
ciate it.
ROSEMARY: If you're very good, perhaps some day you'll be
adopted like Ginny was.
SUE : But Ginny could sing and play the piano, and she had curls
— I don't believe anyone would want just a plain child like me.
£LSIE: Well, there's Beth: She plays a violin.
FRED : It's the girls that get adopted, every time. I guess no one
wants a boy. The only time I ever saw Miss Jenkins smile
was the time she read somewhere that a small boy is a noise
with dirt on it Gosh, I can't remember all the things she thinks
are important — table manners, and clean shoes, and scrubbed
nails, and slick hair —
ROSEMARY: Mothers aren't cross about those things. Mine
wasn't. If they scold, they don't really mean it. It's just that
they want us to make a good impression on the neighbors.
IRMA : Say " 'Twas the night before Christmas," Rosemary.
Won't you please?
ROSEMARY: " 'Twas the night before Christmas—"
Miss JENKINS (Offstage): Rosemary!
ROSEMARY: Yes'm — Here I am, Miss Jenkins. (Children stand
up.)
Miss JENKINS (Entering) : Rosemary! What are you doing?
ROSEMARY: N — nothing, Miss Jenkins. Just amusing the chil-
dren. (The children wiggle back from Miss JENKINS and are
quiet.)
Miss JENKINS : I should prefer to have you do something useful.
I shall send the rest in, and you may practice for the Christmas
exercises until supper time.
ROSEMARY : Yes, Miss Jenkins.
Miss JENKINS : I am particularly anxious for you to make a good
impression on the trustees, and be a credit to my training. I
hope you will be orderly, well-mannered, quiet, and intelligent
Otherwise, perhaps they will not provide such a good Christ-
mas for you ever again. (Other children enter;- they creep
536 CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
past Miss JENKINS as she leaves the stage. As she goes, more
than one child makes a face behind her retreating back.)
ROSEMARY: Well — that's fun, practising for Christmas, I mean.
First, let's hear your Scripture Verses. (They repeat in con-
cert, the part of Luke, beginning "And there were in the same
country, shepherds, keeping watch aver their flocks by night — "
Now let's hear Ann's solo. She doesn't really need to rehearse,
but I do love to hear it
ANN: All right. (Sings "Silent Night.'9)
HUGHIE: Bet Ann'll get adopted!
ROSEMARY: Let's sing a carol. What will it be?
RUTH: "Good King Wenceslas." (They sing one stanza.)
PEGGY: I'd like to sit on someone's lap.
ROSEMARY: Come on.
PEGGY (Looks disparagingly at ROSEMARY'S lap, but slides over) :
I'd like a lady with a great big lap.
ALMA : Once / sat on a lady's lap.
BOB : I'd like the kind of mother that could make cookies.
BETTY: And sew doll clothes.
HUGHIE: I choose the kind that comes upstairs and tucks you
in bed.
JOHN: Fathers are nice, too.
IRMA: You never did finish the story, Rosemary.
ROSEMARY: Where was I? 'Twas the night —
Miss JENKINS (Entering): Attention! (They stand, the little
ones tumbling off ROSEMARY'S lap.)
Miss JENKINS: I have news for you. (Children steal wonder-
ing looks at one another.) All the citizens of Hamelin will be
here tomorrow. If they like you, there is a chance that you may
be adopted. Watch your manners. Stay clean! Don't make
any noise! Be seen and not heard! Remember, nobody ever
adopts a naughty child. (Exit.)
PETE: Gosh!
JOHN: All the people of Hamelin? That doesn't seem sensible
to me. There's something wrong.
ROSEMARY: Why, that's the town that hasn't any children —
ANDY: Aw, they'll never even look at a guy like me. They'll
want the little cute kind. I know.
SUE: You can't tell. Somefcody might even like a boy. Oh,
Rosemary, isn't it exciting?
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN 537
RUTH (A tall, lanky child) : I wish I was Ikde and cuddly!
ROSEMARY: Don't you worry! If the whole town comes— who
can tell what might happen. Perhaps lots of you will be adopted !
SEVERAL: Oh, goody! (They join hands in a circle, and dance
around the stage, singing.)
CHILDREN :
We're going to be adop — ted
We're going to be adop — ted —
BETTY : I made up a poem, all by myself. It goes like this —
No more cereal in thick dishes,
No more lonely little wishes,
No Miss Jenkins — cross old thing!
We shall dance — and we shall sing.
(They gallop about the stage, singing.)
We want moth-ers
We want moth-ers
We want —
Miss JENKINS (Heard offstage as curtain closes) : Cease this
unseemly noise !
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The Orphanage.
AT RISE : The orphans are seated very decorously about the same
room, with hands folded. Miss JENKINS, showing signs that
her composure is not what it might be, reads jrom a list. ROSE-
MARY, trying to conceal her excitement, answers sedately, but
it is evident that she is bursting — and the orphans occasionally
bounce in their chairs with suppressed happiness. They have
hard work keeping sober faces, and when Miss JENKINS' eyes
are on the list they nudge one another, and clap hands noise-
lessly.
Miss JENKINS (Consulting list) : These people are most unrea-
sonable — Here's one — wanted, one little girl with front teeth
538 CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
ROSEMARY: There's Sue — and May, too. P'raps we'd better
send both of 'em to interview the lady.
Miss JENKINS: Sue! May! Go at once to the reception room.
Do not loiter — (Reads) Three boys. Ages preferably five,
seven, and nine. Boys with healthy appetites preferred. Hmf I
(Three boys arise as one: "Thafs us, Miss Jenkins" They
go. Miss JENKINS continues to read) Wanted: One small
girl who likes kittens. One girl who likes to play with biscuit
dough.
ROSEMARY: Oh — I know! Ruthie and Alma!
Miss JENKINS: Hurry along, you two. Let us get this silly
matter over with. Mercy ! "One small boy afraid of the dark" !
Not one parent has asked for anything sensible ! Dick, you may
go. (He runs out, looking gleefully back over his shoulder.)
One child who likes doll-clothes —
BETTY: O — oh! May I go try out for that one, Miss Jenkins?
Miss JENKINS : As well you as any other ! I never heard of any-
thing so preposterous! Not one person has asked for a useful
child! (Reads) Two little girls who look like sisters. One
should be plump.
ROSEMARY: That'd be Irma and Alice, Miss Jenkins. They're
always together.
Miss JENKINS: Hush! (The little girls sneak out fast.) Two
small children the size to cuddle. Cuddle, indeed ! Nobody ever
cuddled me.
ROSEMARY: Praps that's what's the matter —
Miss JENKINS: Are you being impertinent?
ROSEMARY: Oh, no, Miss Jenkins! (Hastily) Don't you think
Hugh and Peggy —
VOICE (Offstage): Are there any more, Miss Jenkins? We're
so delighted so far — (Kind motherly soul enters)
Miss JENKINS: It certainly doesn't take much to please some
people! (The lady disregards the tone.)
LADY: I think you're wonderful, Miss Jenkins, to pick exactly
the child each of us most wanted — (Miss JENKINS smiles and
tries to look as if she'd done it herself. ROSEMARY opens her
mouth in some amazement. The other parents come on, each
with the child or children of their choice. They touch their new
children hungrily, lovingly, and one or two wipe their eyes.)
SUE: And you don't mind my front teeth?
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN 539
NEW MOTHER: No, indeed! There's just one thing nicer than
a little girl with no front teeth — and that's two of 'em ! (She
squeezes both little girls to her.)
PEGGY: Are you sure I'm not too big to be a lap-sitter.
MOTHER : No, indeed. You're exactly the right size.
PETE : To think anybodyM pick me up ! Gosh !
JOHN: Where's Rosemary?
ALICE: Yes, where's Rosemary gone?
PEGGY: I want Rosemary!
IRMA : She mothered us when we hadn't any mothers —
ELSIE: I don't want any mother unless Rosemary has one too —
OTHERS: Nor I!
A MOTHER: There, there. Rosemary won't be forgotten. She
may go exactly where she likes.
ROSEMARY (Entering) : Oh, what do you think? The Toyman
has given me a job! A real, sure-enough job! To tend the
dolls, and take cane of the toys, for always!
TOYMAN : I want to show my dolls.
A FATHER: Did — did you get Belinda to working? Does she
sing?
TOYMAN: Yes, sirree! Nobody can beat me when it comes to
tinkering. Just needed a bit of overhauling, that was all. (Toys
are brought in, same way as before. The orphans applaud.
Last oj all, BELINDA is brought in. Her song is "Santa Claus
is Coming to Taunt* or some such classic. She starts — and
goes over one note again and again, as a phonograph record
does when it is cracked. More winding: another false start.
THE TOYMAN is perturbed.) Funny thing. Where's that oil
can? (Someone hands it to him. He works back oj BELINDA;
there is a whirr, we see his winding motion, and this time her
song is sung to a successful conclusion. THE TOYMAN ap-
proves; the orphans applaud.)
AN ORPHAN : I never was so happy in all my life!
ROSEMARY: Let's sing our carols! (They stand and sing.)
IST CITIZEN : We have found Christmas.
2ND CITIZEN: We have found happiness.
3RD CITIZEN: We have found peace. (They sing, "Joy to the
World" as the curtain closes.)
THE END
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
by Jeannette Covert Nolan
Characters
DR. CLEMENT CLARICE MOORE
MRS. MOORE, his wife
EMILY, Mrs. Moore's cousin
THE MOORE CHILDREN, two small boys and a girl of eight
SCENE 1
TIME : Si* o'clock in the evening of December 24, 1822.
SETTING : The library of Dr. Moore's comfortable home in Chelsea,
New York.
AT RISE : DR. MOORE is seated at his desk. He is a handsome man
in early middle age. Books are piled in front of him. He turns
the pages, and writes, scratching diligently with his quill pen.
From outside can be heard the jingle of sleigh-bells and bursts
of carols -from passing singers. From door at left, MRS. MOORE
enters. She is a youthful, pretty woman. She is carrying a tall
red candle which she sets on the sill of the rear window.
MRS. MOORE: Clement?
DR. MOORE (Without glancing up) : Yes, my dear?
MRS. MOORE: I am sorry to disturb you. But something has oc-
curred. Something rather dreadful. I don't see how I could have
done so! It was the confusion, I suppose. So much to think
about. Straightening the parlors, readying the spare bedroom
for Cousin Emily, preparing the children's gifts and the sweet-
meats. (She pauses.) dement, you're not listening! Clement!
DR. MOORE (Glancing guiltily at her) : Eh? Yes, my dear?
MRS. MOORE : I declare, you haven't heard a word I've said !
DR. MOORE : Ah, but I have. You said you were confused, you had
540
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 541
neglected the parlors, straightened the sweetmeats and prepared
the children's gifts for Emily.
MRS. MOORE (Exasperated, yet smiling in spite of herself) : Noth-
ing of the kind. You were not listening. I'm talking about the
turkey.
DR. MOORE: Turkey, eh? What turkey?
MRS. MOORE : The Christmas turkey. For tomorrow.
DR. MOORE (Nodding) : Ah, yes, of course. I prefer chestnut stuf-
fing, a bit of sage, a hint of garlic — but just a hint — and a
minimum of spices. I have never fancied a spicy stuffing for
roast fowl —
MRS. MOORE (Advancing, and leaning over the desk) : Qernent,
do come out of those dusty old books for once. There will be no
dressing at all. There is no turkey.
DR. MOORE (Half-rising, and in shocked voice, as if the gravity of
the situation has finally been borne upon him) : No turkey! For
Christmas! My dear, why ever not*
MRS. MOORE: Simply because I've forgotten it — as I've been
trying to tell you.
DR. MOORE (Sinking back into his chair) : But this is terrible!
Something must be done about this !
MRS. MOORE: Exactly.
DR. MOORE: Without a turkey, it would scarcely be Christmas!
MRS. MOORE: I agree,
DR. MOORE: The children would be disappointed —
MRS. MOORE : And you, too, Clement You are very fond of turkey.
DR. MOORE: I am, indeed. (Thoughtfully) Well, how can we solve
the problem?
MRS. MOORE : Actually, there is no problem.
DR. MOORE: Eh? What do you mean?
MRS. MOORE: I mean, you must go to the market and purchase
a turkey.
DR. MOORE (Frowning) : At this hour?
MRS. MOORE: The shops will not have dosed.
DR. MOORE (Shuffling the papers on his desk) : If I were not so
— so occupied —
MRS. MOORE : But you will have to put your writing aside, any-
way, tonight, won't you?
DR. MOORE: Yes, I daresay. But —
MRS. MOORE: Get your coat and your hat, Clement. And do hurry.
542 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
DR. MOORE (Obviously reluctant) : It is quite cold, snowing —
MRS. MOORE : But you never mind a little snow.
DR. MOORE (Gazing at the fire, and seeming to have an inspira-
tion) : I would go, and gladly. But I've lost my shoes. (He
stretches forth his feet, on which are felt slippers.) See, wife?
(Gently, yet with a note of triumph) You would scarcely expect
me to venture outdoors in these?
MRS. MOORE (Laughing at him) : Oh, Cement, Clement, you are
only making excuses. You haven't lost your shoes. Where are
they?
DR. MOORE (Solemnly) : I have no idea.
MRS. MOORE (Circling his chair, and bending down) : I have!
They are here. Just where you took them off. Just where you
take them off every evening when you come home from your
classes. (She holds up the shoes.)
DR. MOORE (Shaking his head) : Astonishing ! (He sighs, and gets
to his feet.) Well, I suppose — (He reaches for the shoes, steps
out of the slippers and puts on the shoes. He is smiling rue-
fully.) I have never before bought a turkey, you know.
MRS. MOORE : High time you had the experience ! (She runs out
door at left, returning with DR. MOORE'S overcoat and black
stovepipe hat.) Here you are! And I advise you to wear your
muffler. (She produces black woolen muffler from pocket of
coat.) And your gloves, Clement. (She helps him don all these
wraps, tying the muffler over the hat and knotting it under his
chin.) Now you will be snug. (She pats him on the back and
gives him a little push toward the door in rear wall.)
DR. MOORE (Pausing, and looking at her and then at his desk) :
I hope no one from the Seminary spies me. None of my stu-
dents. They might think it comical. Dr. Moore, professor of
Hebrew and classical languages at the General Theological Sem-
inary — and strolling about on Christmas Eve with a plucked
turkey on his shoulder !
MRS. MOORE: Nonsense!
DR. MOORE: I doubt if my father would have consented to such an
indignity. He was a gentleman and a scholar, the Protestant
Episcopal bishop of New York.
MRS. MOORE (Edging him toward the door) : Yes, yes, I know.
DR. MOORE: My father officiated at the inauguration of President
George Washington and at the death of Alexander Hamilton.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 543
He had a position to maintain, and he always maintained it.
MRS. MOORE (Impatiently) : Clement, you hesitate because you
are merely lazy. Let us just forget about the turkey. Have off
your things; go back to your books. There is some salt cod in
the house, I shall cook that for our dinner tomorrow.
DR. MOORE (Horrified) : Salt cod!
MRS. MOORE: And very good, too. I like salt cod. So wholesome.
DR. MOORE (Shuddering) : My dear! (He bustles out, slamming
door behind him. MRS. MOORE smiles, shrugs, hums softly to her-
self as she straightens a chair or two and then exits through left
door. Stage is empty only a moment, then a SMALL BOY enters
through rear door. He carries a covered basket. He moves to
center stage, whistles once, mysteriously. Immediately a SECOND
SMALL BOY and a LITTLE GIRL appear on threshold of left
door.)
GIRL: Oh, Bud, did you get it? (She closes door furtively.)
FIRST BOY: No need to be so careful. I passed Father on the
street. But he didn't recognize me in the darkness.
GIRL (Crossing to basket, lifting lid and peering in) : What a
sweet, cunning one !
SECOND BOY: Here, let me look. (He peers into basket.) Yes, it's
just right Who gave it to you, Bud?
FIRST BOY: Mrs. De Paul.
GIRL: As usual!
SECOND BOY: What did you tell Mrs. De Paul?
FIRST BOY: That we wanted a fine Christmas present for Father.
GIRL: As usual! And what did she say?
FIRST BOY : She laughed and said she didn't think Father could be
so very surprised.
GIRL : Because you have the same present for him every Christmas !
SECOND BOY: Oh, not every Christmas.
GIRL: Every Christmas for the last three years.
SECOND BOY: Well, Father always is surprised, though.
GIRL: Perhaps he only acts surprised.
FIRST BOY (Crestfallen and indignant) : What's the matter? Are
you sorry we planned on this? Is it all a mistake? Shall I take
the present back to Mrs. De Paul?
SECOND BOY : No, no ! Why, what else could we get now?
FIRST BOY : But if it isn't a surprise —
GIRL (Less critically, and smiling down into the basket) : Well, I
544 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
suppose we mustn't bother. And it is so sweet ! But — (Slowly)
— next year we'll begin very early, and we'll plan something
quite different and original.
FIRST BOY: Sh — sh! Who's coming? Father? (He snatches up
basket, clamps on lid and hastens through left door^reentering
almost instantly, as someone knocks on rear door.) No, it isn't
Father. (He flings open door.) It's —
THE CHILDREN (In a joyful chorus) : Cousin Emily !
EMILY (Entering) : So it is. (She is attractive. Her arms are laden
with packages.) Merry Christmas, my darlings!
SECOND BOY: I'll call Mother. (Scampering to left door, he
shouts) : Mother ! Cousin Emily's here.
FIRST BOY (Politely) : May I relieve you of your burden?
EMILY (Chuckling) : Thank you, no. My trinkets I shall stow
away, myself. They're secrets.
MRS. MOORE (Entering and embracing EMILY): Dear Emily!
Now we shall have the best of holidays.
EMILY (As FIRST BOY assists her with her wraps) : A charming
welcome!
MRS. MOORE: Children, what's in that basket in the hall?
FIRST BOY : Father's surprise. It's — (He whispers in EMILY'S
ear.)
EMILY: What, again? Mrs. De Paul must have an endless supply.
I'd think your yard would be swarming by this time !
FIRST BOY: No, we keep them only until they grow large. Then
we take them out to the farm.
EMILY: And at the farm you're starting a colony, are you?
SECOND BOY (Anxiously) : Cousin Emily, we're rather afraid
Father won't be surprised.
EMILY : Oh, certainly he will be ! Delighted also. But where is your
father?
MRS. MOORE : At the market.
EMILY: Dr. Moore, the distinguished professor, at market?
MRS. MOORE : He hated to go, but I insisted. And he should be re-
turning any minute. (Laughing, she glances out window.) Yes,
here he is ! (Enter DR. MOORE, his hat powdered with snow, a
turkey over his shoulder. There is a general buzz of greetings.)
DR. MOORE (Shaking hands with EMILY) : Emily, behold in me a
much abused man.
EMILY: Doing the family marketing?
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 545
DR. MOORE: I had to. (Muttering) Salt cod!
MRS. MOORE (Inspecting turkey) : I must say you did well, Clem-
ent. A beautiful bird!
FIRST BOY (Gesturing to his brother and sister) : Shall we?
GIRL : Yes. Father, we have a gift for you. If you and Mother and
Cousin Emily will sit down — (She rushes offstage, comes back
with basket, which she deposits in front of DR. MOORE.)
DR. MOORE: For me? Well, how nice! (He stoops.)
GIRL: Wait, though! Father, do you suspect what's in the basket?
DR. MOORE: No. I can't imagine. Fruit? Candies? A holly
wreath? (He taps his forehead, as if in deep thought.) But I
seem to catch a tiny, scratching sound! Can it be something
alive?
SECOND BOY (Excitedly) : Yes! Alive!
DR. MOORE: Can it be — (He removes lid.) Well, wett! A black
kitten! Of all the splendid Christmas tokens! Just what I've
been wishing for!
SECOND BOY: Honestly, Father?
FIRST BOY : We chose a black one, to match your clothes, sir.
GIRL : We gave you one last year, you know. And for several years.
DR. MOORE : The very reason I didn't anticipate receiving one this
year.
SECOND BOY: There, do you see! He if surprised! (Still anxious-
ly) You haven't got tired of black kittens, Father?
DR. MOORE : I never get tired of them ! (He sets the kitten on his
lap, and strokes it.)
GIRL: Just the same, next year — (She nods wisely to herself.)
EMILY: That looks like a superior kitten. May I have a closer
acquaintance? (She takes the kitten from DR. MOORE, who rises,
fumbles in pocket of his coat, and crosses to his desk.)
DR. MOORE: And now I have a trifling surprise for you children.
FIRST BOY: Not our presents, sir? We don't get them until to-
morrow morning. (The children all lift eager faces.)
DR. MOORE: No. This is a little something. (He pauses, as if em-
barrassed.) Well, I wrote something for you.
SECOND BOY (Flatly): Oh! Like — the books you're always
writing?
DR. MOORE: Not exactly, no. (He sits, and spreads before him a
crumpled bit of paper.) Verses. Rhymes.
MRS. MOORE (Amazed) : Rhymes? Why, Clement!
546 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
DR. MOORE: I know it's a most extraordinary thing for me to do.
But as I was walking along the streets, as I stood in the market
— somehow, rhymes suggested themselves to me. About Christ-
mas. So I jotted them down. I haven't yet finished. Would you
care to — to —
MRS. MOORE: Oh, do read them, Clement
DR. MOORE:
" 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;"
{Beginning timidly, he gains assurance, reading first ten lines of
"A Visit from St. Nicholas.")
GIRL (Interrupting enthusiastically) : But, father, this isn't a bit
like the things you write! Ifs — ifs good!
MRS. MOORE: Extremely good, Clement!
DR. MOORE (Beaming over his spectacles) : Oh, it's nothing, really.
EMILY: Nothing? A poem! I shall want a copy, Clement.
DR. MOORE (Alarmed) : No, no ! I should be distressed if anyone
ever knew I was so — so foolish. (He has picked up his pen
and is writing rapidly.) It just spins out in the strangest man-
ner! Well, shall I continue reading?
CHORUS: Yes! Yes, do read!
DR. MOORE:
"Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. . ."
(As he reads, the lights dim and the curtain falls.)
* * *
SCENE 2
TIME : Evening, December 24, 1823.
SETTING: The library, as it was in previous scene, except for
minor changes which show the passage of a year's time.
AT RISE : DR. MOORE is seated in armchair before the fireplace,
has slippered feet on footstool. He is reading a newspaper. MRS.
MOORE sits in another chair, a large bowl in her lap, the con-
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 547
tents of which she stirs with a pewter spoon. Occasionally, and
rather apprehensively, she looks at DR. MOORE.
DR. MOORE: Where are the children, my dear?
MRS. MOORE : Upstairs. Very busy with their Christmas tasks.
DR. MOORE: I daresay I shall have the customary offering of a
black kitten from Mrs. De Paul's never-failing cattery?
MRS. MOORE : Probably. The youngsters give you kittens because
they themselves fairly dote on kittens.
DR. MOORE (Smiling) : Well, that's an excellent rule for the se-
lection of gifts. And is Emily coming?
MRS. MOORE : I — I think she is.
DR. MOORE: Good! There is never much alteration in our scheme
of life, from season to season, is there? I prefer it so. Peace,
serenity, nothing to upset routine. And this year the turkey
was bought on schedule, and I'll not be forced to parade with
it in the public streets.
MRS. MOORE : I'm mixing the stuffing according to your taste.
DR. MOORE: Ah! (He beams, and resumes his scanning of the
newspaper. Suddenly he rattles the pages, stares incredulously.)
Do my eyes deceive me? No ! It is! It really is ! That ridiculous
poem of mine, those silly whimsical verses I wrote last Christ-
mas! About St. Nick! That drivel — it's printed here, in the
Troy Sentinel, in type, where everybody can see! (He kicks
over the footstool and rises, clutching the newspaper. Much
agitated, he paces around the room.) Oh, this is terrible! A dis-
grace! And who can have done it? Well, why don't you say
something? (He stops.) You did it! You sent my verses to the
Sentinel!
MRS. MOORE: No! No, I didn't!
DR. MOORE: But who else — (Pausing) — Emily! Emily, of
course!
MRS. MOORE: Clement, I am so sorry —
DR. MOORE: Your Cousin Emily! Knowing how I felt, my own
poor opinion of them, Emily deliberately sent them to the paper !
MRS. MOORE: No, Clement. Please be calm. It wasn't like that.
Not quite. Emily did make a copy of your poem; she read it to
a few friends, and they repeated it to a few of their friends ; and
soon she had a request from the editor of the Sentinel for per-
mission to print it —
548 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
DR. MOORE (Furiously) : A request which she complied with !
(As MRS. MOORE nods sadly) Emily is a meddling woman!
MRS. MOORE : She did not intend to annoy you, Clement.
DR. MOORE: Annoy? She has ruined me! (He paces, muttering.)
MRS. MOORE : Oh, no ! In her letter last month, Emily told me —
DR. MOORE: So you knew it would be in the paper?
MRS. MOORE: Well, yes, I knew. But I — I hoped you wouldn't
notice.
DR. MOORE: Indeed? Everybody will notice. Hundreds of people,
thousands. And they will all think that Clement Moore, profes-
sor at the Theological Seminary, has turned imbecile !
MRS. MOORE (Rising, speaking decisively) : I am rather sure
they'll not think that. Instead, they'll read the verses with in-
terest and admiration. You should not be ashamed of the poem,
Clement. You should be proud. It is lovely, a picture in words.
Perhaps it will be reprinted — often. Perhaps it will be read
ten years from now — twenty years. You've witten all these
books. (She gestures toward the desk.) Possibly not one of
them will live so long or be so popular as the little poem you
dashed off just for our children.
DR. MOORE: I can't believe that! (Pausing in his pacing, he looks
at her.) Are you — are you weeping f
MRS. MOORE (Dabbing at her eyes) : Only — only a bit. Forgive
me.
DR. MOORE: But you mustn't weep at all! Why should you?
MRS. MOORE: Well, our Christmas is — is spoiled —
DR. MOORE (Remorsefully) : My dear! How badly I'm behaving!
(He goes quickly to her and takes her hand.) I'm the one to
apologize, and I do. (Slowly.) The printing, against my
wishes, of the poem is merely a minor incident; I have exag-
gerated its importance. What matters is that we, under this roof,
shall be happy together on Christmas Eve.
MRS. MOORE: Oh, Clement, —
DR. MOORE : Dry your tears, my dear. (As she obeys, he is look-
ing into the bowl which is on the desk.) Is there spice in the
stuffing? Not too much, I trust.
MRS. MOORE: Won't you sample it?
DR. MOORE (Glad that her attention has been distracted) : Yes, I
will. (He dips the pewter spoon into the bowl and nibbles.)
Umm! Delicate and delicious! (They are smiling at each other
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 549
as the rear door opens, and EMILY enters.) Ah, good evening,
Emily!
EMILY (After embracing MRS. MOORE and walking shyly toward
DR. MOORE) : Are you angry with me, Clement?
DR. MOORE : No. No, I have been somewhat startled, I admit. But
not angry. (He glances at MRS. MOORE.) Would you say that I
displayed anger?
MRS. MOORE (Stoutly) : Certainly not! (As she helps EMILY off
with her wraps, voices are heard offstage, and the THREE CHIL-
DREN troop in, left door. They are carrying a covered basket
which they deposit at DR. MOORE'S feet.)
CHILDREN: Surprise! Surprise for Father!
MRS. MOORE: But you haven't greeted Cousin Emily, children.
CHILDREN (In chorus) : How do you do, Cousin Emily ! Sur-
prise for Father —
DR. MOORE: Well, well, what can this be? (Gazing at the basket.)
Candies? Fruit? A holly wreath?
CHILDREN : No, no !
DR. MOORE: Not a black kitten?
FIRST BOY: No, sir!
GIRL: We said it would be a different present this year. It is!
SECOND BOY (Dancing about with excitement) : Different! Very
different. Oh, you never could guess !
DR. MOORE (In an aside to MRS. MOORE) : If it isn't a black kit-
ten, then I'm truly mystified. (He stoops.) But surely I catch
a tiny, scratching sound. Something alive?
SECOND BOY: Yes, alive!
DR. MOORE (Lifting basket cover) : Ton my soul ! A white
kitten!
CHILDREN: Surprise, surprise!
GIRL: Would you ever have guessed?
DR. M©ORE : Never, never. And I've been wishing for a white
kitten.
GIRL (As CHILDREN demonstrate elation at their success) : Fa-
ther, do you remember the poem you read to us last Christmas
Eve?
DR. MOORE: Yes, I remember.
GIRL : Such a nice poem. Read it again tonight.
FIRST BOY: But he said it was a "trifle," and maybe he doesn't
have the poem any more.
550 HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
DR. MOORE : As it happens, I Ve been providentially supplied with
a copy of that poern. (He glances at EMILY, who smiles.)
GIRL: Then you will read it, Father?
MRS. MOORE: You get into your nightgowns, children. Father
will read to all of us before the fire. (Exti CHILDREN and MRS.
MOORE.)
DR. MOORE (Wandering to the window.) : A beautiful night,
Emily. The snow is like a thick, soft veil over the world.
EMILY : Yes. My dear Clement, you see how it's going to be with
that poem of yours, don't you? Everyone who encounters it
will remember it. A Visit from St. Nicholas will make you
famous
DR. MOORE: Oh, no! The rhymes have no literary merit.
EMILY : But they have such appeal !
DR. MOORE : They seemed just to come to me — out of the air.
EMILY: I think I recognize your St. Nick, though. Isn't he Van
Kroyt, the butcher here in Chelsea?
DR. MOORE : Perhaps. I bought the turkey in Van Kroyt's shop. I
was watching him. (Looking thoughtful) "His eyes — how they
twinkled! his dimples, how merry!"
EMILY (Also quoting) : "His cheeks were like roses, his nose like
a cherry!" Yes, that's Mr. Van Kroyt. But what prompted you
to invent the reindeer?
DR. MOORE: Reindeer? I suppose I did invent them.
EMILY: Of course, you did. No one ever before described St.
Nick's mode of travel. "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now,
Prancer and Vixen!"
DR. MOORE: "On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!"
(He sighs.) Well, as I've told you, Emily, the circumstances of
my composing the poem were odd, to say the least. I can't ex-
plain it.
EMILY: Perhaps inspiration can never be explained, Clement.
(Door opens; MRS. MOORE enters with CHILDREN.)
GIRL: Here we are, Father! (All settle down around the hearth.
DR. MOORE takes up newspaper and begins to read.)
DR. MOORE:
" 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse — "
(He continues; lights dim and curtain slowly falls.)
THE END
NO ROOM AT THE INN
by Emma L. Patterson
Characters
THE INNKEEPER
Two TRAVELERS (Men)
THE BOY, servant to innkeeper, about ten years old
JOSEPH
MARY
FOUR SHEPHERDS
SERVANT To BALTHAZAR
BALTHAZAR, a young man 1
MELCHIOR, a middle-aged man L the Three Wise Men
CASPAR, an old man \
SERVANTS and GUESTS at the Inn
TIME: Eve and early morning of the first Christmas.
PLACE: The inn yard at Bethlehem.
SCENE 1
SETTING : A section of the inn yard.
AT RISE : It is late afternoon. There is a red cast in the sky more
intensified at left. People entering the courtyard from the high-
way are framed in a red glow. Throughout the scene there is
activity — servants coming from the inn with pitchers or jars
to draw water from the well, people walking between the stable
and the inn. If the stage is shallow, this activity should be omit-
ted in order not to cause confusion. The INNKEEPER is seated
on the bench beside the door. Two TRAVELERS enter through
left gate. The INNKEEPER rises and advances toward them.
They meet at center.
551
552 NO ROOM AT THE INN
FIRST TRAVELER: Are you the keeper of this inn?
INNKEEPER: I am, sirs. How may I serve you?
SECOND TRAVELER : We wish lodging for the night.
INNKEEPER (Rubbing his hands) : How many are there of your
party?
FIRST TRAVELER: We are traveling alone.
INNKEEPER (Hesitantly) : Oh, I see. And you left your pack
animals outside?
FIRST TRAVELER : We have no pack animals, no baggage.
SECOND TRAVELER: The very simplest accommodations will do
for us. We are not wealthy.
INNKEEPER: Gentlemen, I am sorry, but I haven't a bed left.
People have been pouring into town all day, registering to be
taxed, you know.
SECOND TRAVELER: Yes, that is what brings us. We have come
quite a distance.
INNKEEPER: Yes? Well, you will have to try somewhere else for
lodging.
FIRST TRAVELER: Is there another inn here in Bethlehem?
INNKEEPER (Walks back to bench) : No, but you will doubtless
find some place. Perhaps you have acquaintances who live here.
SECOND TRAVELER: No, we are strangers.
INNKEEPER: Oh, too bad. (Sits on bench.) Well, good evening,
gentlemen, and good luck to you in finding a place. (THE
TRAVELERS hesitate an instant, then turn and go out by left gate.
INNKEEPER claps his hands and calls) Boy, where are you?
Come here, boy. (Bov enters at center gate.)
BOY: Yes, master?
INNKEEPER: Come here, you lazy oaf. Why do you loiter in the
stables when there is so much work to do ?
BOY: Why, master, you told me to feed the horse of the guest
who just arrived.
INNKEEPER: Umph! You took too long about it.
BOY: I am finished now, master. What shall I do next?
INNKEEPER : Go stand outside the entrance gate. If any wayfarers
come past and wish to enter, tell them there is no more room
in the inn.
BOY: But, master, have you forgotten? There is still a room va-
cant, a fine large one, the best in the house.
INNKEEPER: Silence, fooll Of course I know that, but I am not
so stupid as to rent that to any common traveler for a few
NO ROOM AT THE INN 553
farthings when if I but wait an hour some man of wealth is sure
to come along and give me a good price for it.
BOY: Yes, master.
INNKEEPER: Go, now. Stand outside the gate and note the travel-
ers carefully. If they come on foot or with only a pack mule,
tell them there is no room. But if you see a man on horseback
with a retinue of servants, send for me at once. We will have
room for him!
BOY: Yes, master.
INNKEEPER: There! Someone approaches now, a couple of peas-
ants. See, he is lifting her down from the donkey. Go and meet
them. Tell them there is no room. (THE BOY runs off stage left.
The INNKEEPER sits on the bench beside the door, folding his
hands on his stomach. JOSEPH and MARY enter left. She is
leaning heavily upon his arm. THE BOY runs in after them and
circling around in front of them, bars the way so that they are
forced to halt.)
BOY : I tell you, sir, it is no use to come in here. There is no room.
(JOSEPH leads MARY to the well-curb and she sits down, leaning
back wearily. THE BOY crosses to right.) I told them what you
said, master, but they would come in. The lady is very tired
INNKEEPER; Humph! Lady, is it? Woman is good enough for
her. Just a peasant woman. (JOSEPH crosses to right and stands
before INNKEEPER.)
JOSEPH : Is there not some small place somewhere that you could
give us for the night? My wife is too exhausted to go further.
INNKEEPER (With an extravagant show of patience) : The boy
told you there was no room. Why, then, must you persist in
intruding? Do you expect me to move out and sleep in the mire
of this courtyard in order to give you a place? Move on, now,
and don't annoy me further. (JOSEPH turns away reluctantly.)
BOY (To INNKEEPER) : There is a vacant cattle stall. Perhaps we
could —
INNKEEPER: Be quiet boy. We will need that for the horses of
the late-comers.
JOSEPH : But you have no room for late-comers. So you have said.
BOY: Horses can be picketed anywhere, master.
INNKEEPER: But these people would not wish to be lodged with
the beasts.
JOSEPH : Indeed we would be very glad even of such a place.
554 NO ROOM AT THE INN
BOY : I will put down some fresh sweet hay for a bed.
INNKEEPER (Reluctantly) : Very well. The price will be the same
as for the stabling of a beast — of two beasts.
BOY (Capering toward the exit) : This way, sir. I will make it
ready for you. (JOSEPH goes to the well-curb and helps MARY
up. Exeunt BOY, MARY and JOSEPH.)
INNKEEPER: See that you get back here promptly. I am going in
to my supper. (Exit INNKEEPER right.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
: Six hours later. It is after midnight.
AT RISE : The INNKEEPER is seated on the bench. THE BOY en-
ters at rear.
BOY: Oh, master, the most wonderful thing has happened. A
baby has been born, a little boy.
INNKEEPER: A baby born! Where?
BOY: In the stable.
INNKEEPER : Umph ! A wonderful thing indeed. One more added to
the already too numerous population of the poor and ignorant.
BOY : But this baby seems different When I look at him, it makes
me feel — well, I can't describe it. You come and see him,
master.
INNKEEPER :./f I go to look at a peasant child born in my stables?
(He gives a short scornful laugh.)
BOY : I can stay here in the courtyard and keep watch for travelers.
INNKEEPER: Travelers! There are none abroad tonight. Here it
is past midnight and my best room still vacant. In all my life
I never had such bad luck at this season.
BOY: Someone may stop even yet It is a good night for travel-
ing, starlit and mild.
NO ROOM AT THE INN 555
INNKEEPER: Yes, I never knew it to be so light at midnight.
BOY : That one star seems to hang right over the stable. (Enter
FOUR SHEPHERDS left. They pause and look about them, then
cross to center.)
INNKEEPER (Brusquely) : Well, what is your business, shepherds ?
FIRST SHEPHERD: Sir, could you tell me? Has there been a child
born at this inn tonight?
BOY (Eagerly) : Yes, there has. A wonderful baby ! He is in a
manger in our stable. Shall I show you — ? (He runs toward
rear exit.)
INNKEEPER: Stay here, boy. (THE SHEPHERDS draw together at
center and talk among themselves.)
SECOND SHEPHERD: This must be the place.
THIRD SHEPHEBD: It is as they said — lying in a manger.
FOURTH SHEPHERD (To INNKEEPER) : May we go and see the
child?
INNKEEPER: A fine lot of shepherds you are, leaving your sheep
in the middle of the night to look at a baby. I manage my bus-
iness day and night and even so can scarcely make a living.
THIRD SHEPHERD : There are more important things than business.
INNKEEPER: Well, move on. Don't clutter up the courtyard.
(Exeunt SHEPHERDS.)
BOY: How do you suppose they knew about the baby?
INNKEEPER : They are probably relatives or friends of the couple.
It is the same class of people. I don't like to have such common
trash making free about the place. It gives people wrong ideas
about the sort of guests I keep.
BOY: Why, master, shepherds are very fine people. I know one
named —
INNKEEPER : On second thought, perhaps you had better go to the
stables and keep an eye on those shepherds. See that they don't
hide some lambs under their cloaks on the way out
BOY: Yes, master! (He turns and starts toward rear gate. Stops
at center and gazes out through left gate.) Master! Master!
There is a camel caravan at the gate. (INNKEEPER leaps up and
starts through left gate.)
INNKEEPER: Horses too! Arabian horses and servants galore.
(There is the sound of hoofs in the dust and of men calling.)
Ah, my chance has come. Now if I only had three or four va-
cant rooms. Oh such wealth ! Such magnificence !
556 NO ROOM AT THE INN
BOY: They are stopping. Some are dismounting. Shall I go out
and greet them?
INNKEEPER : No, I will attend to this. You go into the stables and
send those shepherds away. (Exit THE BOY. Enter left THE
SERVANT OF BALTHAZAR. He stands very erect just inside the
gate, bows, then folds his arms. INNKEEPER advances and bows.)
INNKEEPER: A good evening to you, sir. My humble dwelling is
at your disposal
SERVANT (In a deliberate, expressionless tone as though speaking
in a tongue foreign to him.) : Is there a newborn babe in this
place?
INNKEEPER: A newborn babe? Why — why — yes, there is —
but — it is not — (SERVANT bows and goes out left. INNKEEPER
stares after him, puzzled. He paces across the courtyard mut-
tering.) Newborn babe ! What do they want of a newborn babe ?
There must be some mistake. (Enter SERVANT OF BALTHAZAR
left. He takes up his previous stand by the gate. Enter THE
THREE WISE MEN each bearing a small coffer. They cross to
center. INNKEEPER bows very low.)
MELCHIOR: Where is the child?
INNKEEPER (With many bows indicates rear gate) : This way, my
lords. (THE WISE MEN walk out rear. SERVANT crosses and
takes up position beside rear gate, arms folded. INNKEEPER
starts to follow WISE MEN but comes face to face with SERVANT
who has the attitude of standing guard. INNKEEPER halts,
crosses back to bench, turns and goes back to face SERVANT.)
INNKEEPER: This child is no person of importance. His parents
are ordinary peasants. They came here begging a place to stay
only this afternoon. If I had not taken pity on them and allowed
them in, the child might have been born right by the roadside.
Oh no, your masters must have made a mistake.
SERVANT: My master is a prince of India. The other two are
Oriental nobles. Their wisdom is great and infallible. They do
not make mistakes.
INNKEEPER: But what do they want of this child?
SERVANT: There is for him a great destiny. They have read it
in the stars. They wish to do him homage. They bring him
gifts.
INNKEEPER (Shrugs his shoulders) : AH this sounds foolish to
me. But then I am not a sage, only a simple businessman —
NO BOOM AT THE INN 557
and speaking of business, these gentlemen will wish to stay over-
night here, won't they?
SERVANT: I will ask my master when he returns.
INNKEEPER: But surely they would not think of starting on at
this hour. Shall I have beds prepared ?
SERVANT: I will ask my master when, he returns. (Enter THE
SHEPHERDS. They start toward gate at left.)
INNKEEPER: Well, my men, did you find the child for whom you
were searching?
SECOND SHEPHERD: Yes.
INNKEEPER; Is he a very remarkable babe, unusual in any way?
(THE SHEPHERDS look at each other. They speak a few words
in an undertone.)
FIRST SHEPHERD: He appears like any other child
INNKEEPER (To SERVANT) : You see? (To SHEPHERDS) And
why did you wish to see the child? How did you hear about
him? (Again the SHEPHERDS confer with each other.)
THIRD SHEPHERD: While we watched our flocks we were told
of it.
INNKEEPER: Ah, by someone who had been here and seen him
perhaps?
FOURTH SHEPHERD: Perhaps. (Exeunt THE SHEPHERDS left.)
INNKEEPER: You see, it is just the ordinary story of a very ordi-
nary birth. It is remarkable how rapidly news gets around
among the lower classes. I'm afraid your masters will have to
seek further — tomorrow. {Enter THE THREE WISE MEN
rear. SERVANT approaches BALTHAZAR and murmurs something
in a foreign tongue. BALTHAZAR looks sharply at THE INN-
KEEPER.)
BALTHAZAR: Is it true that you have a vacant room in your inn?
INNKEEPER: Yes, my lord, it is at your service, a fine large rooni
I have held it for you at great expense and inconvenience.
BALTHAZAR: Then why must this family whom we have just left
be lodged on a bed of straw in a cattle stall?
INNKEEPER : But — but — my lord, I did not realize — I would
have gladly — A boy, one of my servants, took them there. I
did not know — (His stammerings fade of into silence.)
MELCHIOR: Innkeeper, this night you are host to a king. Your
finest room, if hung with the rarest of our tapestries, would have
been but a poor setting for his glory. And you entertained him
— in a manger. (INNKEEPER falls to his knees.)
558 NO BOOM AT THE INN
CASPAR: Friends, your words of reproof are useless and worse
than useless. It were better to leave this man ir his ignorance.
Come, let us journey on. (THE THREE WISE MEN turn left to
depart.)
INNKEEPER: Masters 1 Masters! Stay but a few moments and I
will even now show homage to this king. I will prepare the
room with my own hands and myself lift him from the straw
to a bed of down.
CASPAR : Do not disturb the child. All has taken place as it was
destined to do since the beginning of time.
INNKEEPER : But a king lying in a stable !
BALTHAZAR: That is of no consequence to him. Yours is the loss,
not his. Had you shown kindness to these humble people last
evening, you would have been lauded and revered through all
the ages to the end of time. You chose otherwise.
INNKEEPER : But, my lords, I have none of your great learning.
How was I to recognize royalty in such a guise?
MELCHIOR : It is not a question of learning. The shepherds knew
him and so did your little errand boy. Those who have saved
room for him in their hearts shall see him and know him. The
rest shall go blind to their graves.
BALTHAZAR: You had no room for him in your heart or in your
house, no room for anything but yourself, comfort for yourself,
money for yourself. Is it not true ?
INNKEEPER (With bowed head) : It is true. My heart is as empty
as that vacant room.
CASPAR: Do not despair, innkeeper. You were thoughtless and
selfish, but it is not too late for you to do this king a service yet.
INNKEEPER: What is it, my lord? Only tell me and it shall be
done.
CASPAR : It is this. Say nothing to anyone of our visit. Help the
parents to escape with the child in secrecy from the country.
Herod is seeking him to kill him.
MELCHIOR: The shepherds are pledged to silence. If you say
nothing, the child is safe.
INNKEEPER : I shall keep silence, my lords.
CASPAR: It is well. Let us depart. (Exeunt left THREE WISE
MEN and SERVANT. INNKEEPER rises from his knees, goes to
bench and sits lost in thought. Enter THE BOY from rear.)
Come here, lad. Those Oriental princes who were just here told
NO ROOM AT THE INN 559
me about the babe, who he is. I think I should like to see him.
BOY: Oh master, I am so glad! Come, I will show you.
INNKEEPER: Just a minute, son. You started once to tell me how
it made you feel to look upon this child, but I would not hear it
Now I am ready to listen.
BOY : Well, master, it is a hard thing to describe. I forget about
myself and my heart seems to swell within me. And I feel that
the only important thing in life is being friendly and kind.
INNKEEPER: J need that Yes, I need to see him. But I have no
gift to take him.
BOY : You need no gift, master.
INNKEEPER: But those eastern princes carried in rich coffers.
BOY: Yfes, and, master, one box was heaped with gleaming gold.
INNKEEPER: But out of their great wealth those gifts were noth-
ing. Their real service to him was in finding him and in recog-
nizing him as king.
BOY : That is true, and we can do that also.
INNKEEPER: It will be easier for you than for me. All my life I
have assumed that kings could be recognized by their fine
raiment.
BOY : I will help you, master.
INNKEEPER: Good! With your help I shall succeed. And my
gift will be the empty room, the room that was too good for
a king.
BOY: How do you mean, master?
INNKEEPER: I shall never rent that room again. Hereafter it will
be free each night to the one who needs it most.
BOY : He will like that gift the best of any you could make.
INNKEEPER: Come, lad. Morning will soon break. Lead me to
the king. (INNKEEPER rises and takes the hand of THE BOY
who leads him to rear gate.)
THE END
CHRISTMAS HOUSE
by Helen E. Waite and Elbert M. Hoppenstedt
Characters
MARGERY, a girl about 14
CLIFFORD, her brother, her senior by a year or two
MRS. MARSTENS, their mother
MARY
TOM
NANCY
school friends of CLIFFORD'S
ALICE
MARTIN
HENRY Du Bois, a visitor to Christmas House
KAY, his daughter, and MARGERY'S school friend
TIME: Christmas Eve, The present.
SETTING : The Marstens living room.
AT RISE: CLIFFORD is busy with a partially decorated Christmas
tree, and MARGERY is seated on the arm of an easy chair, swing-
ing one foot and pretending to read a magazine, but taking side-
glances at her brother, who carefully keeps his back toward her
as he lifts ornaments from box on nearby table. He is whistling.
After a minute, during which she increases the tempo of her
foot-swinging, MARGERY speaks with sarcasm.
MARGERY: What a truly charming picture you and the tree do
make ! To see you take up each piece so tenderly — (She makes
a mincing little gesture her brother does not see.)
CLIFFORD (With a grumt) : Well, you can't treat a Christmas
tree ornament the way you would a football.
MARGERY (In mock surprise) : Oh, do you know how to treat a
football? Do boys in this funny two-by-four town actually
know about football? (CLIFFORD wisely maintains silence, al-
though he involuntarily squares his shoulders, and his head
560
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 561
gives a quick jerk. MARGERY laughs annoyingly and continues
with irritating lightness) But it is so delightful to watch you —
every bit of tinsel adjusted with care, every ball hung
with love —
CLIFFORD : Someone has to do it. Mother's much too busy, and I
haven't noticed you bothering to hang up love anywhere —
MARGERY (Airily) : Not my line. Mrs. Simmons, the house-
keeper, always did that.
CLIFFORD: Nice household Cousin Janice must have had, if the
housekeeper was the only person who dealt out love. That ex-
plains several things about you. (He has finished the tree and
now turns on tree lights.)
MARGERY (Springing up and stamping her foot) : Clifford
Marstens, you know perfectly well I only meant that Mrs.
Simmons was the person who decorated our Christmas trees !
Cousin Janice was the dearest, sweetest person! Everybody
was always happy in her house — we didn't even hear anything
sad or horrid — (She suddenly chokes and dabs at her eyes.)
I wish — I just wish —
CLIFFORD (Extending hand) : Shake. So do I.
MARGERY (Stiffening) : Oh, indeed! And just what do you wish?
CLIFFORD: If Cousin Janice was the "dearest, sweetest" person,
and she had a habit of making everybody happy, I wish she had
bequeathed a little of her disposition to you ! (Slowly and se-
riously) Look here, Marge I I know everything about this place
must be queer and different after the way you lived with Cousin
Janice! This house must be funny and old-fashioned and
shabby when you remember her grand city apartment; and I
know you think Heddonville is in the backwoods, but it really
isn't ! And believe it or not, there are lots of nice people here,
even though they don't own private yachts and have winter
homes in California, and look down their noses at the rest of
the world! I know we do everything different from the way
you've done it most of your life! But now that you've come
back to live with Mums and me, can't you be a sport, and try-
to like us?
MARGERY (Wrinkling her nose and speaking scornfully):
"Mums" ! Whenever you say that it always reminds me of pep-
permint candy.
562 CHRISTMAS HOUSE
CLIFFORD (Clenching his hands) : I asked if you couldn't be a
sport?
MARGERY: Is there any good reason why I should be?
CLIFFORD: To make it easier for Mum... for Mother, for one
thing.
MARGERY (Tossing head) : You'll have to find a better reason
than that, my dear brother ! My mother gave me away when I
was a year old. And I thank her for it. She gave me to a
person who could teach me to appreciate nice things, and nice
society. Cousin Janice taught me to be a lady —
CLIFFORD: Maybe she did, but if so, it didn't take!
MARGERY (Her voice trembling) : And now, because dear Cousin
Janice is dead, I must come back to live with my mother and
brother, who know absolutely nothing of the sensitive side of
life, and who live in a run-down old cubby-hole of a place called
Christmas House in a back-of-nowhere country town, and my
mother — well, I find my mother takes in tourists! (Utter
scorn shows in her voice.) Tourists ! Oh ! If any of my friends
at Highwood School ever discovered that— why, I'd freeze stiff
and die of shame !
CLIFFORD (Hotly) : You should be proud of Mums instead of
talking like that All the time Cousin Janice was turning you
into an insufferable spoiled brat, Mums was going over some
pretty rough sledding. But she's been gritting her teeth and
working, and building up a reputation for courage and friend-
ship. Christmas House isn't anything to look down your nose
at. You'd better stick out your chest and be proud of it! Some
pretty fine people have stayed here, let me tell you, Marge. The
Governor of the State, and the Dean of Vassar —
MARGERY: You win admit, I suppose, that celebrities do not drop
in every day? And meantime, I'm supposed to associate with
country rustics. Why Cousin Janice didn't leave me the money
to stay on at Highwood School I just don't see.
CLIFFORD: I wish she had, for Pete's sake!
MARGERY (Stamping foot) : If you are a sample of boys here — !
You haven't one shred of sympathy with my plight! You are
the most unfeeling. . . (She is interrupted by the sound of a
bell.) That's the President of the United States coming to
spend Christmas with us, I suppose? (Sounds of gay voices
and laughter off-stage, then, before she is seen, MRS. MARSTENS
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 563
is heard saying: "They're in here, I think. Yes, come right on
in!" She leads in a group of beys and girls clad in heavy
wraps.)
MRS. MARSTENS (To MARGERY and CLIFFORD) : Yes, 1 imagined
you would have finished with the tree. Just in time, too. (To
group) Girls and boys, have you all met my daughter, Margery?
Margery, here are some of Heddonville's nicest young people.
(There is a chorus of "Hello's? and "How-dee-do's" to which
MARGERY responds with a cool inclination of her head, and a
rather stilted "Good evening?*)
TOM : We stopped in to take you carolling with us.
NANCY : We've been looking forward to knowing you ever since
we heard you were coming to live at Christmas House !
ALICE: If your voice is anything like Cliff's, you'll be a grand
asset tonight!
MARTIN: Hey! Stop talking and let 'em get into their things!
MARY: Better make it your wooliest, Margery — going out to-
night is like joining a Byrd expedition!
CLIFFORD : Give us three minutes and well be with you — (He
starts toward door when MARGERY'S cool voice stops him.)
MARGERY : Only bring woolies for one, Cliff . / do not happen to
be going. (There is a chorus of protest and disappointment.
MARGERY strolls over to the couch, drops upon it, tilts her head
and smiles blandly upon the group.)
MRS. MARSTENS: Perhaps you haven't understood, dear. It's a
custom here in Heddonville, as it is in many other places, for
the young people to go about the town singing carols on
Christmas Eve, especially to the sick or shut-in. Sometimes
they are invited in, and given cakes or other goodies. And
when they have finished their rounds they hold a little Christ-
mas feast at one of the houses.
MARTIN: I'm to have the honor this year. And boy, are the
things good to smell ! I can't guarantee the taste — my mother
wouldn't let me at 'em.
ALICE (Coaxingly)\ We do have such fun! Please come!
MARGERY : Thank you. It sounds very quaint, and I suppose you
country people do enjoy it, but I'm not interested. (Group stare
at one another first in bewilderment, and then, as comprehen-
sion dawns, some look hurt, and others angry.)
MARY: So — that's how the wind blows!
564 CHRISTMAS HOUSE
NANCY (In a small voice) : Cliff — are — are you coming with
us? (CLIFFORD shakes his head, muttering in the negative.)
MARGERY: Please don't let me keep you from enjoying yourself.
(CLIFFORD gives her a withering look, but does not speak.)
TOM: We'd — we'd better get going, I guess. Sorry to have
disturbed you, Mrs. Marstens. So long — Cliff! Merry
Christmas! (Others echo "Merry Christmas?* rather dejectedly,
and trail off-stage. MRS. MARSTENS escorts them to door.)
CLIFFORD: So that's what you call being a kdy?
MARGERY (Rocking back and forth in glee) : Oh, if the girls at
Highwood ever heard that I'd been invited to go carol-singing
to the shut-ins, in the hope I'd be invited in and rewarded with
cakes, they'd simply shriek themselves sick! (MRS. MARSTENS
has returned and, seating herself, looks at MARGERY gravely.
Her voice is grave, too.)
MRS. MARSTENS : I wonder, Margery, if you have any idea how
unspeakably rude you were just now?
MARGERY (Frightened, but defiant) : I don't care —
MRS. MARSTENS : Yes, we realize that. Oh, Margery, when your fa-
ther died, our affairs were in such a desperate state that I thought
I'd have to send you and Cliff to a Children's Home. I was
so glad when Cousin Janice came and offered to take you as her
own child. I was sure you would have every advantage in her
home. Well, perhaps you did, but if so, you didn't use them.
You are all sunshine when everything is soft and easy for you,
but you have no courage to face new ways, and no intelligence
to see friendliness and generosity and worthwhileness in any-
body outside your own narrow circle. Because Cousin Janice
died and you were forced to leave her lovely home and your
fashionable school, you are miserable and angry and hurt, and
you haven't learned how to do anything except hurt back.
You've hurt Clifford and myself every day for a month. You
may have been a delightful girl with Cousin Janice or at High-
wood, Margery, but here you certainly are a failure.
(MARGERY straightens and puts out her hand quickly. She
stares at her mother in bewilderment. CLIFFORD, glancing at
the two, starts quietly for the door. His mother stops him.)
I want you to hear this too, Clifford. I had intended to tell you
both on Margery's birthday in January, but I've decided to tell
you tonight. Margery, Cousin Janice expected you to be un-
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 565
happy and strange here in Heddonville so she left me the money
to provide for your education at Highwood School — in case
you really wanted to continue there. But first, / wanted you
to know what living with your own mother and brother would
be like. I had wanted to claim you for so long — I was so sure
we'd be happy. (Sadly) It hasn't turned out that way. Per-
haps it will be best to send you back to Highwood after this
Christmas vacation —
MARGERY (Springing up excitedly) : Mother ! You — you mean
I can go back to Highwood School? I can go back to the city?
MRS. MARSTENS : Yes, if you can honestly say you wish to go —
that you want to leave your own family, just when we're to-
gether again after thirteen years. Try to think carefully, my
dear.
MARGERY (Hugging mother) : I don't have to think! — I know.
(This is a different MARGERY from the girl we have seen so far
in the scene. This MARGERY is all sparkling eagerness and
laughter.) Oh, Cousin Janice was a dear to fix things like that,
and you're a dear to let me go ! (She dances joyously about
room.) Oh, I must write Peg and Joyce and Kay that I'm
coming — (Even while she talks she is dancing toward the
door. There is a moment of silence after her exit.)
CLIFFORD : You needn't try to smile, Mums. I know exactly how
you feel. Well, I guess that finishes us with Margery — (Bell
peals again, twice.)
MRS. MARSTENS: Will you answer that for me, Cliff? (CLIFFORD
nods, leaves stage. A moment later we hear his voice saying,
"Yes, sir, I'm sure you may. This way, please." Enter CLIF-
FORD with HENRY Du Bois and KAY. The newcomers are
simply but expensively dressed in out-of-door clothing.)
CLIFFORD: Mother, this gentleman wishes to know if he and his
daughter may spend Christmas with us?
MRS. MARSTENS (Coming forward) : You will be very welcome.
Du Bois (Bowing slightly) : Thank you, Mrs. Marstens. My
name is Du Bois — Henry Du Bois. And (Indicating KAY)
this is my daughter, Kay. It was she who was attracted by the
name of your house, and begged to stop here.
MRS. MARSTENS (Smiling at KAY) I'm very glad. I hope you
will have a joyous Christmas in Christmas House.
566 CHRISTMAS HOUSE
KAY : I — I know we will. It makes me feel as if it's the ki$d of
house where wishes came true!
MRS. MARSTENS : Well, I know one person whose wish did come
true in Christmas House tonight. Maybe it's a good omen!
If you'll come with me I'll show you your rooms.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Same room perhaps an hour later.
AT RISE: CLIFFORD is rearranging logs. MARGERY enters, full
of enthusiasm.
MARGERY: Cliff, look! I just had the duckiest idea for my letters
telling the girls I'm coming back to Highwood! See, it's a
sketch of Santa Claus leading me up to the Highwood gate!
CLIFFORD: What a marvelous present for the school!
MARGERY (Furious) : You certainly do have a talent for making
obnoxious remarks I
CLIFFORD (Guilelessly) : So glad you like them. (At that mo-
ment, unseen by either, KAY appears. She hesitates, seems
about to withdraw, and then takes a step forward.)
KAY: May — may I come in? (The sound of her voice causes
both CLIFFORD and MARGERY to jump. MARGERY., who has
stood with her back toward the door, wheels about. KAY takes
another step into the room, and, recognising each other, the
girls give simultaneous cries.)
MARGERY: Kay Du Bois! But when — why —
KAY: It is — it really is Margery Marstens! I thought of you
when we saw the name Marstens on your sign, but I never
dreamed of finding you —
MARGERY (Wincing) : No, you wouldn't have, would you?
KAY (Coming over and slipping arm around MARGERY) : You
look as though you were in a haze, Marge, and I don't wonder !
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 567
But you see Daddy and I decided to have a little Christmas ad-
venture just by ourselves, so we left the city early this morning,
and rode and rode. We weren't aiming for a special place,
but when I saw this lovely old house, and the name "Christmas
House'* I begged Daddy to stop. And I'm so glad we did.
I've always wished I'd have a chance to see you alone — away
from the rest of that silly Highwood crowd, I mean, and see if
you weren't a real human being! (She laughs a little shakily)
Maybe this'll sound queer to you, Marge, but — I always
thought you had the makings of a lovely friend! (MARGERY
clutches the sketches tightly against her breast. She tries to
speak, but her lips open and shut without a sound. CLIFFORD
comes to the rescue.)
CLIFFORD: Won't you sit down, Kay? Was that what Marge
called you? (He pulls easy chair toward the tree.) I'm
Margery's brother, Clifford. She'll recover her breath in a
minute or two. It never deserts her for long! Tell me, do
you think there are enough lights on this side of the tree?
KAY (Who has taken the offered chair) : Perhaps — you might
move that ball — the one on the second branch from the top —
yes, that one (As CLIFFORD touches it), move it so it catches
the light from the red bulb. Oh 1 It's a lovely tree! I've always
wanted to help decorate one. Wasn't it fun? (She looks ques-
tioningly at MARGERY, who is uncertain and embarrassed.)
MARGERY : Why, I — I —
CLIFFORD (With merciful promptness) : Marge stood by and gave
me expert encouragement and advice.
KAY: How could you keep your hands off, Marge? Oh, aren't
you the lucky girl? Your cousin's apartment was wonderful,
of course, and so was she, but somehow it never seemed like
a home! Besides, I don't know how you ever endured being
away from your mother and brother !
MARGERY (Who has settled herself on the couch, speaking hur-
riedly) : You're a rather lucky girl yourself, Kay: Your father's
such a marvelous singer — he's Henry Du Bois, the opera star,
Cliff. (CLIFFORD nods) And you have those beautiful rooms
at the Hotel Viking, and that darling old French governess, and
a car of your own —
KAY: Well, I'd give them all up in a minute, just like that—
(She snaps her fingers.) all except Daddy, of course! — if we
could have a tiny house all to ourselves, and stay in one spot!
568 CHRISTMAS HOUSE
You can't know how horrid it is to be famous, and having re-
porters spying on you! Oh, the Hotel Viking's well enough,
and I'm always glad when Daddy sings for the season at the
Belvedere Opera. But I've lived in twenty-six different hotels,
and gone to school in twenty-one different places ! And I hate
cities and hotels anyway. Oh — don't tell Daddy I said that !
(She laughs unsteadily.) I wouldn't have him different for the
world 1 (MARGERY stares unbelievingly, but CLIFFORD tactfully
changes the subject.)
CLIFFORD: So you like our Christmas House, do you?
KAY: I love it
MARGERY: How did you happen to find it?
KAY: Christmas in a hotel is horrid. And Daddy's just getting
over a cold, so he had no engagements to sing tonight or to-
morrow. I coaxed him until he said we'd drive into the coun-
try and see if we could find a little place which we could pretend
was our home that we were coining back to for Christmas. We
started early this morning, and somehow I couldn't find any-
thing that seemed just right. I'm afraid Daddy was beginning
to be discouraged when — we found this ! I saw the tree through
the window, and I simply couldn't resist! (She pauses, holds
her hands out toward tree.) Maybe you won't believe it, but
this is the first Christmas tree I've been dose to — in a real
home — since I was a little girl !
MARGERY (Surprised and shocked) :It — is?
KAY (Nodding) : It really is. We've always spent Christmas in
hotels, or else with my grandmother. She doesn't believe "in
decking one's house like a Roman carnival" just because it's
Christmas time. She says the ridiculous way in which most
people behave during the Christmas holidays is idiotic.
CLIFFORD: I must be hopelessly foolish! (Enter MRS. MARSTENS
and Du Bois. KAY springs up and darts to her father.)
KAY (Excitedly) : Daddy — Daddy, this is a nicer Christmas
adventure than we planned! Guess who I found here? Margery
Marstens —
Du Bois (Politely) : Margery Marstens — ?
KAY: Don't you remember I told you about Marge last month,
Daddy? She's the girl I said was so lucky, even though the
cousin she lived with had died, because she had a chance to
get away from the city and that priggish Highwood School,
and come up to the country to her own mother and brother?
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 569
Du Bois (Heartily) : I do remember. Kay and I both envied
you, Miss Margery. Congratulations on your escape from that
smug city. The best Kay and I can do is to run away over
Christmas!
KAY : Daddy — finding Marge and her family like this will make
it a special celebration. Couldn't we — couldn't we go up to
our rooms and plan some special Christmas surprises?
Du Bois : I think it might be possible.
MRS. MARSTENS: Oh, no! You mustn't think —
Du Bois: I've found, Mrs. Marstens, that it's best not to inter-
fere with Kay's surprises. So, if you will excuse us ! (Du Bois
and KAY make exit.)
CLIFFORD (Looking after them) : Poor kid! Did you ever see
anyone so sort of hungry for Christmas?
MARGERY (Chokingly) : And when I think of all good times I've
had — why, Merry Christmas was something I just took for
granted!
CLIFFORD: Here too!
MARGERY : I never dreamed — she was always so gay — the girls
all envied her — (She slowly tears her sketches in jour pieces
which flutter to the floor.) I guess she's right about the girls
at school, too.
MRS. MARSTENS (Looking from her son to her daughter in a
puzzhd way) : My dears, what is it you're talking about?
MARGERY : Kay. She's been cheated out of so many things. Even
Christmas trees. Her grandmother doesn't believe in turning
her house into a Roman carnival just because it's Christmas !
MRS. MARSTENS : Poor woman,
CLIFFORD: Let's show her what Chrittmas really can be like —
take her into the family — share our things with her —
MARGERY : I'll give her the necklace I had for Moth — for Mums.
You won't mind, will you, Mums? I — I think — I have
another present for you.
MRS. MARSTENS : Of course I won't mind, dear.
MARGERY (Falteringly) : This — this other present — it isn't —
well, it isn't much good just now, -but perhaps — perhaps it
will improve. You see, Mums, I'm going to give you — well,
I'm going to give you a daughter! A daughter who's going to
stick by you and Cliff and Christmas House, and try — try to
be a — sport! (And as she looks up into her mother's face,
the curtain falls.)
THE END
THE CRYSTAL FLASK
by Karin Asbrand
Characters
PRINCESS LILJTA
THE KING
THE QUEEN
CARA, a Lady-in-waiting
FIRST FAIRY GODMOTHER
SECOND FAIRY GODMOTHER
PRINCE SIGWALD
A NURSE
SETTING : A room in the Palace
TIME: Once Upon a Time.
AT RISE: The KING and QUEEN are seated on their thrones in
center of stage. The NURSE stands in foreground, holding the
BABY PRINCESS LILITA. A FAIRY GODMOTHER stands on either
side of them. There i& gay music playing off stage.
IST GODMOTHER : It has been a royal christening indeed.
THE KING (With satisfaction} : Aye, so it has. Tables loaded
high with good things t& eat and drink so that none should go
hungry. And I have hired bands of musicians to play, that all
my guests might sing and dance and make merry.
2ND GODMOTHER: For such a beautiful Princess it is none too
much*
THE QUEEN : Aye, she is fair to look upon, I grant you.
IST GODMOTHER (Takes silver flask from her pocket)': I have a
gift to give my godchild. This silver flask. 'Tis filled with
laughter. So keep it lightly corked that her laughter may bubble
over and stay by her always. (Hands flask to the KING.)
THE KING (Rises as he accepts it, and bows) : In behalf of the
Htde Princess, I thank you
THE CRYSTAL FLASK 571
2ND GODMOTHER : I, too, have a gift, this crystal flask. A flask of
tears, Lilita's tears which she must some day shed.
THE QUEEN (In alarm) : Tears? Nay, she must not know the
meaning of tears or sadness. We'll keep it tightly corked.
THE KING : Or better still we'll hide the flask where she can never
find it
2ND GODMOTHER (Sagely) : There is no joy but is better for hav-
ing known some sadness. But be that as it may. The gift is hers.
Do with it as you will. (She hands flask to the QUEEN.)
THE QUEEN (Holds it up and looks at it) : Tis beautiful, indeed,
and yet, I like it not. We'll hide it Of that you may be sure.
JST GODMOTHER (Bends over to kiss BABY'S forehead) : And so
farewell, and may your merry laughter ring clear throughout
the palace halls for many a long day.
2ND GODMOTHER (Kisses Baby) : I, too, bid you farewell. Some
day you'll find that even tears will bless your day and bring you
happiness. (The two GODMOTHERS go out.)
THE QUEEN (Crossly) : Even tears will bring her happiness, for-
sooth. Well hide this flask of tears upon the highest shelf, and
none but you and I shall ever know where it can be found.
THE KING: Quite right, my dear. We'll hide it now before a
single tear escapes. (They rise, and go out together, followed
by the NURSE with the BABY.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same; sixteen years later.
AT RISE: The NURSE and MAID-IN-WAITING stand in center of
stage.
NURSE (Yawns) : My time hangs heavy on my hands now that
the Princess is grown up.
572 THE CRYSTAL FLASK
MAID-IN-WAITING (Looks around, cautiously) : Where is Lilita
now?
NURSE: I left her playing about in the garden.
MAID-IN-WAITING: I am getting very tired of hearing the Prin-
cess laugh. It seems to me she does nothing but laugh.
NURSE (Crossly) : Well, there is nothing we can do about it. It's
true she does nothing but laugh. She laughs when she has to go
to bed, when she eats, even when she falls and skins her royal
knees she laughs. She has always laughed at everybody and
everything.
MAID-IN-WAITING: Even in church she laughs, and the Queen
has to put the stopper on the silver flask very tightly. People
are beginning to think the Princess queer.
NURSE: I wish I knew where they had hidden that crystal flask.
I would get it and pull out the stopper. It would be a relief to
see the Princess cry for a change. Wouldn't it, Cara ?
MAID-IN-WAITING: You would be severely punished, so let her
laugh.
NURSE (Shrugs her shoulders) : Who cares? I love the Princess
very much, but her feelings are all bottled up. One needs to cry
every once in a while.
MAID-IN-WAITING (Moves closer to her companion) : If you
won't tell anyone, I'll tell you a little secret.
NURSE (Eagerly) : Of course I won't telL Tell me, Cara dear.
MAID-IN-WAITING (Mysteriously) : I know where the crystal
flask is hidden.
NURSE (In great surprise) : You do?
MAID-IN-WAITING : Yes. I do. I was the one who climbed up on
the ladder and hid it on the day of the christening. But I would
never dare tell anyone. The King said that if I did tell I would
have my head chopped off.
NURSE: The King tells that to everyone, but he has never chopped
off a head yet
MAID-IN-WAITING: Hush. Here comes the Princess now. (Enter
right, the PRINCESS LHJETA. She stands and laughs merrily at
the two standing looking at her.)
NURSE: Well, what is so funny about us? Can you tell us that?
MAID-IN-WAITING (Looks down at her clothes) : Is my petticoat
hanging? Is anything wrong?
PRINCESS: Oh, don't mind me. You know that I'm always laugh-
THE CRYSTAL FLASK 573
ing. I just can't help myself. Sometimes I wish I could stop,
but I never can except when my royal mother puts the stopper
on the silver flask very tightly, and then I always feel like a
mummy. Then I have no f eelings at all. (Laughs again, so she
almost chokes) Isn't that funny? (As the other two do not
laugh) No, I suppose it isn't funny, but I've got to laugh just
the same. I wish I could find the crystal flask that my other
Godmother gave to me. I would be so happy if I could cry just
once.
MAID-IN-WATTING (Goes to her) : I know where the crystal flask
is hidden, Princess Lilita. I should know. I hid it
PRINCESS: And you've kept it from me all these years?
MAID-IN-WAITING (Shrugs her shoulders) : What else could I
do? Your royal father has quite a temper when he is crossed,
you know.
PRINCESS: Please tell rne where it is. I will reward you well.
MAID-IN-WAITING: You will probably get my head. But I'll tell
you because I am getting so tired of hearing you laugh myself.
Come, we will get a ladder. You shall have your crystal flask.
(Exeunt PRINCESS LIUTA, MAID-IN-WAITING, and NURSE, right
just as the KING and QUEEN enter left.)
THE KING (With a sigh) : For aH our care I don't believe our
little Lilita is happy.
THE QUEEN (As they take their places on their thrones) : Why
shouldn't she be happy? She never cries.
THE KING: But perhaps a few tears never really hurt anyone, my
dear. Perhaps we had better take the crystal flask from its hid-
ing place and give it to her. (Shakes his head, sadly) To think
she has never shed a tear in all her life.
THE QUEEN (Brusquely) : And she never shall shed one, if I can
help it. (Enter right, PRINCESS LILITA, holding the crystal flask
in her hand, and crying into her handkerchief. There is. no
stopper on the flask. She is closely followed by the MAID-IN-
WAITING and the NURSE who are trying their best to console
her, one on either side of her.)
THE KING (In alarm) : What has happened? (Runs down to the
PRINCESS.)
THE QUEEN (Hurries over to her and takes her in her arms) :
What has happened to my precious child? (Sees the flask) The
crystal flask t Who has done this terrible thing?
574 THE CRYSTAL FLASK
MAID-IN-WAITING: She climbed up on the ladder and brought it
down herself, but when she was halfway down she took the
stopper out and dropped it
NURSE : And her pet dog, who was playing about below, took it
in his mouth and ran with it down the palace corridor into the
garden.
MAID-IN-WAITING: And none of us can find it
PRINCESS (Who has been constantly wailing) : And now I can-
not stop crying.
THE QUEEN (Puts her hand over the top of bottle, but the PRIN-
CESS does not stop crying) : No other stopper will do except the
right one.
THE KING: We must find it at once. Post notices all over my
kingdom. I'll offer a big reward to anyone who finds the stop-
per to the crystal flask. (Darkly) And as for you, my dis-
obedient wenches, unless the stopper is found within a week,
you shall both be severely punished.
PRINCESS (Still crying) : Don't punish them. Punish me. Then
I will have something to cry about
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The same, one week later.
AT RISE: The KING and QUEEN are sitting on their throne,
thoughtfully staring into space, their chins resting on their
cupped hands.
THE KING: A whole week has now gone by, and nowhere can the
stopper to the crystal flask be found.
THE QUEEN: The Princess will drown in her own tears unless
someone can find it, and that right soon.
THE CRYSTAL FLASK 575
THE KING: The gardeners have dug up the whole garden, but the
dog did not bury it there, for it cannot be found.
THE QUEEN: Ah, lackaday, and woe is me! I who had thought
to keep my precious Princess happy all the days of her life, can
do nothing for her now.
THE KING: Let him who finds the stopper to the flask ask of me
anything his heart desires and I will give it to him. (Enter
PRINCE SIGWALD.)
PRINCE SIGWALD (Bowing low before the KING and QUEEN) :
I am your neighbor, Prince Sigwald, your majesties, come to
pay my respects to a good and mighty ruler and his Queen.
THE KING (Stroking his chin, thoughtfully) : Sigwald! Sigwald!
Have I ever met you before, young man?
PRINCE: Aye, when as a lad I came with my parents to the Prin-
cess Lilita's christening. (He takes from a pocket the stopper to
the crystal flask.) Sire, is this mayhap what you have been
seeking?
THE QUEEN (Overjoyed) : It is, indeed. It is the stopper to the
crystal flask.
THE KING: Where did you find it, young man?
PRINCE: What matters it, your majesty, where I found it, as long
as it is found? But, if you would know, one day when I was
riding through your land a week ago, my horse did stumble, and
there, beneath his hoof, I found this stopper to the crystal flask.
THE KING (Claps his hands twice) : I will send for the Princess
so that we may check her tears, and bring happiness into her
life again. (Enter right, MAID-IN-WAITING.)
MAID-IN-WAITING: Didst call for me, your majesty?
THE KING: Aye, that I did. Take the stopper to the crystal flask
which this good Prince has found and put it tightly on. Then
bring the Princess in to me.
MAID-IN-WAITING (As the PRINCE hands her the stopper) : Aye,
that I will, and quickly. (Hurries out, right)
THE KING : And now, Prince Sigwald, as to your reward, ask of
me what you will. It shall be yours.
PRINCE: I ask no other reward, your Majesty, than the hand of
the Princess Lilita in marriage.
THE KING (Joyfully) : It shall be yours. To join our two great
countries has been my fondest dream. (Enter right, PRINCESS
LILITA.)
576 THE CRYSTAL FLASK
PRINCESS (Curtsies to the KING and QUEEN, then to the PRINCE) :
Didst send for me, your majesty?
THE KING (Goes down and takes her hand, and lays it in that of
the PRINCE) : Prince Sigwald, here is your reward to prove
that I am a man of honor, the hand of the Princess Ulita in
marriage. (To LILITA) My dear, it is a pleasure to see you
smile again.
PRINCESS: I feel so light-hearted and gay. And yet I think my
tears have washed my troubles all away.
THE QUEEN: And now we must hide that awful flask again
where she can never find it
PRINCE: Nay, give it in my keeping. For there is no joy but
what is greater for a tear or two.
THE QUEEN (Wonderwgly) : 'Tis so the fairy godmother said.
PRINCE: Aye, side by side we'll keep the flasks, the silver flask of
laughter, and the crystal one of tears. For unless she knows
how to weep once in a while, she cannot understand her sub-
jects. And she will understand her subjects better if she can
weep with them, if needs must be, and then she'll be a better
queen. I'll take good care that her tears be few.
THE KING: Well said, O wise and noble Prince. So may you
rule together, wisely and well, for many years.
THE END
Adapted from the story "The Laughing Princess," by the Author.
LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
by Karin Asbrand
Characters
HANS
GRETCHEN
HILDA
LUDWIG
JULIANA
chudren
JACOB
KATRZNKA
CAM-
BET JE
PETER
JAN, the burgomaster's son
FLOWER FAIRIES, 4 Tulips and 4 Hyacinths
the
SCENE 1
SETTING: The banks of the Zuyder Zee, Holland.
AT RISE: HILDA, LUDWIG, JULIANA, JACOB, KATRINKA, CARL,
and BETJE come out on the stage, each carrying a pail and scrub
brush, singing to the tune of "Ach, du lieber Augustine" doing
the step, brush hop in time to the music.
HILDA:
Holland is a country that everybody likes
Because so many flowers grow beside its fertile dykes,
Because the little children look so very clean and sweet,
Because we scrub inside and out to keep it nice and neat.
JULIANA:
So every morning early when birds begin to sing
We take our little pails in hand and scrub like anything.
577
S78 LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
We scour the cobblestones and streets; we scrub our houses,
too, (All mink)
And if you happened very dose then maybe we'd scrub you.
(Point brushes at audience.)
LUDWIG: Well, let's go. Tomorrow is the Sabbath and we must
certainly make this place shine.
JACOB (Cheerfully) : It isn't our job exactly, but if you girls
want to go on the picnic with us I suppose we will have to
lend a hand. (They all get down on their knees and make
motions of scrubbing.)
ALL (Singing to the tune of "East Side, West Side") :
Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub,
In the pail or tub.
Now Holland will shine so brightly
As we gaily scrub.
Early in the morning
We'll be on our way
To scrub all the streets and houses
So they'll shine today.
(After song is finished they jump up and run to left where
they leave their pails and brushes. Enter GRETCHEN and
HANS, hand in hand. GRETCHEN carries a basket covered with
a white napkin.)
GRETCHEN: Oh, how nice everything looks.
HANS : Yes, even if I had nothing to do with it, it doesn't look
bad.
GRETCHEN : I'm glad to see that you boys are working, too, for
a change.
LUDWIG: Of course. That is why it looks so good.
GRETCHEN: It's too bad you don't pitch in more often.
JACOB: Why should we? What do we have women for anyway?
KATRINKA: You are lazy like the men already. And we women
have to wait on you.
JACOB: But certainly. That is what women were put into the
world for, to wait on the men.
CARL : Besides, you have nothing else to do all day.
JULIANA: Not much. Only cleaning and scrubbing and cooking
and darning and patching and sewing, and tending the peat
for the fire, and milking the cows, and bathing the baby, and a
LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND 579
few odd little things like that plus extras thrown in like seeing
that you men are comfortable.
KATRINKA (With a big sigh) : I wish I had been born a boy.
BETJE (Helpfully) : Maybe when you grow a little bigger you
will grow into a boy.
CARL: You are what you are and you'll be what you'll be. I
think girls are very nice, especially you, my Betje.
BETJE (Curtsies to him, demurely) : Oh, thank you. I think
you are nice, too, Carl.
LUDWIG:* You two think that because Betje has no brothers and
Carl has no sisters.
CARL : Ah, but you forget. I have a new baby sister. Didn't you
see the little pink cushion hanging on my door?
LUDWIG: Sure, I did. But she isn't old enough to count yet.
HANS : I haven't a sister, but for a cousin Gretchen isn't too bad
a girl.
GRETCHEN: That is a compliment coming from you, Hans.
HANS : When she grows up she is going to marry me. Her father
has already promised it.
GRETCHEN : And I suppose I will have nothing at all to say. But
you are a good scout. I could do worse, I guess. (Enter JAN
and PETER, their arms filled with tulips.)
JAN : The boats have come in all loaded with tulips and the mar-
ket-place is full.
PETER: We are taking these to church for Tulip Sunday.
KATRINKA: What lovely ones! How is your father today, Jan?
JAN: He's better, thank you. But still very angry with that
stupid cook.
GRETCHEN: What stupid cook, Jan?
JAN: Oh, haven't you heard? My father got a new cook, an
American. He found a pile of my father's tulip bulbs in a bas-
ket in the cellar, and cooked and creamed them for onions.
His prize tulips they were, too. My father nearly died of
apoplexy.
PETER : It was a costly dinner.
JAN : Yes, and most unpalatable, too.
HANS: We must hurry, Gretchen, if I am to get you to Tante
Anna's in time for dinner.
HILDA: What's your hurry? Where are you going* anyway?
JULIANA: We haven't played all day long. Can't you stop and
play a while?
580 LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
GRETCHEN: Oh, no. My Tante Anna is expecting me. I must
bring her this basket of cakes my mother baked for her.
HANS : Yes, let us be on our way to Tante Anna's.
LUDWIG (To the other children) : And we will go and play on
the canal boats.
KATRINKA: Take care you do not run into the Imps of the Dyke,
Hans and Gretchen.
HANS: Pooh. Don't frighten Gretchen. Tipsey and Topsey are
nothing but myths.
JAN (Seriously) : Oh, I don't know. I think there are really imps
that live along the dykes and cause all the trouble when the
dykes break.
JACOB: Ach, such silly fairy tales. You must not believe every-
thing you hear.
LUDWIG: People in fairy tales are quite harmless.
GRETCHEN : I'll run all the way. I am glad I am going to stay all
night at my Tante Anna's.
HANS : I am not though. I have to come back all alone. (Laughs.)
But I am afraid of nothing.
BETJE: Here's for a jolly good time. Let's go. (Children all join
hands, and skip around in a circle.)
ALL (Singing to tune of "Solomon Levi") :
Oh, we are jolly Dutch children and we've plenty of things to do
But we can always spare the time to sing and play for you.
For there is nothing helps so much when things seem to go
wrong
As looking at the brightest side and singing a jolly song.
Here is to Holland, tra la la la la la la.
Here is to Holland, tra la la la la la la.
Oh, we are jolly Dutch children, and we've plenty to do all day,
But we can always find time to laugh and sing and play.
(They all skip out left holding hands, except HANS and
GRETCHEN, who start slowly toward right.)
GRETCHEN : I wish you were going to stay all night, too, Hans.
(Wistfully) I shall miss you. Will you miss me a little, too?
HANS: Well, perhaps a little.
GRETCHEN (As they stop for a moment and look at the dyke) :
Look, Peter. The water looks so calm, and yet it can be so dan-
gerous. Can't it?
HANS: Only if the dyke should break, little silly. It would drown
the whole town.
LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND 581
GRETCHEN: How awful that would bcl But the dyke is really
quite safe. Nothing ever happens.
HANS (Shrugs his shoulders) : Safe enough, I guess. I can't re-
member anything happening, so I guess nothing will.
GRETCHEN : If anything does, I hope they will remember to take
care of my little duck, Tina. She is so small she could never
swim away herself.
HANS: Neither could anyone else. The water would gobble her
up, and you and me and everybody. The water would be so
crazy wild if it ever got away from the dyke.
GRETCHEN (In an awed voice) : Let's hurry away from it, Hans.
I want to get to Tante Anna's quickly.
HANS (Laughs at her) : You are a little 'fraidy-cat, my Gretchen.
You can't ever get away from the dykes as long as you live in
Holland. But don't worry. (Puts a protecting arm around her.)
After all, you are a girl. But I won't let anything happen to you
while you are with me.
GRETCHEN : It's funny. I am never afraid of anything when I am
with you, Hans. You are so big and strong. I am glad you are
my cousin. (HANS and GRETCHEN go out right.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same. That evening.
AT RISE: HANS saunters in holding in his hands a toy windmill.
HANS (Talks to his windmill) : You will have to keep me com-
pany, little windmill, until I reach home. I am glad that my
Uncle Benjamin made you for me. (Stops short and looks at
the dyke.) Oh, my goodness! Oh, MY GOODNESS! What
shall we do, little windmill? There is a leak in the dyke. Only
a small leak, it is true, but a small leak will soon become a big
582 LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
leak. It is getting late, and perhaps nobody but me will pass this
way before morning. (Sets windmill down on the ground, kneels
down and puts his finger into the hole.) It is just big enough
for my finger. I guess we will have to stay here, little windmill,
until someone comes or else the hole will get bigger and bigger
until the whole dyke breaks down. (Settles himself into a more
comfortable position, and lays his free hand on the windmill.)
Stay by me, little windmill. (Chimes or bells ring off-stage. Soft
music is heard.) I am getting very sleepy. Is that music we
hear, little windmill? Whatever shall I do to keep awake? My
hand is quite numb. Pretty soon the whole of me will be numb.
I only hope I can keep my finger in the hole in the dyke. (He
sleeps. FLOWER FAIRIES waits in.)
FLOWER FAIRIES (Singing to the tune of "Daisy Bell") :
Flower fairies,
Here by the Zuyder Zee,
Tend the flowers
Lovely as they can be.
Oh, there is nothing sweeter,
That you must all agree,
Than sweet tulips on Holland's ships
Down by the Zuyder Zee.
Flower season
When lovely blossoms grow
Is the very nicest
Time that you'll ever know.
Oh, there is nothing sweeter
In all the world to see
Than flower time, sweet flower time
Down by the Zuyder Zee.
HANS (As he opens his eyes) : You are very pretty. You are the
fairies that all the children talk about. Or maybe I am dreaming.
FIRST FLOWER GIRL : Yes, we are only dreams, Hans. But* we are
staying here to keep you company while you are here hblding
the dyke. (Enter TIPSEY and TOPSEY.)
TIPSEY AND TOPSEY (Step brush hopping to the tune of "Ach, du
Lieber Augustine" as they sing) :
Ach, du lieber Hans, now we'll all have some fun, fun, fun,
For the sun is sinking and this day is done.
You stopped the trickle, but Dutch dykes are fickle,
LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND 583
The Zuyder Zee will break down and drown everyone.
(They turn cartwheels around the stage.)
SECOND FLOWER FAIRY: Oh, dear, what did you have to come
around for, you old trouble-makers?
THIRD FLOWER FAIRY: Don't worry, Hans. They are only bad
dreams. Nightmares, you know.
FOURTH FLOWER FAIRY : We will watch out so they can't hurt you.
FIFTH FLOWER FAIRY : After all, you are only dreaming anyway
because your hand and your body are getting numb from the
cold water.
SIXTH FLOWER FAIRY : We will try to make your dream as pleas-
ant as we can.
TIPSEY : Ha, ha. You can't as long as we are here. We will do
our best to make him miserable. (Makes a face at HANS.)
TOPSEY: You bet we will. (Tickles HANS.)
SEVENTH FLOWER FAIRY: But why? What have you got against
him?
TIPSEY : -He is interfering with our fun. We made that hole in the
dyke so that it would get bigger and bigger and drown every-
body.
TOPSEY : Besides, we like to see people miserable.
HANS : Well, I fooled you. The hole isn't going to get any bigger.
TIPSEY: Pooh. You won't stay there long. We'll see to that.
(Goes to push him, but FIRST FLOWER FAIRY gets in his way.)
TOPSEY : What a silly little boy he is !
HANS: I certainly shall stay here or the whole dyke will give
way. When your country is in danger you must do your best
to save it.
TIPSEY: You can't save it. The dyke will give way anyhow.
(Shrugs his shoulders.) Heaps of fun it would be, too.
HANS (Sighs) : Ouch, my hand hurts ; it is so cold.
TOPSEY : Certainly it is cold. You don't think we would warm the
water for you, do you?
TIPSEY (Coaxingly) : Come along now, remove your finger and
come and dance and sing with us.
HANS (Pushes with his free hand) : Go away and leave me alone.
Go away, and let me have my nice dreams.
TOPSEY: Don't be silly, Hans. Let the old dyke go. It would be
such fun to see the water pouring out over the .town.
HANS : What cute ideas of fun you have !
584 LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
TIPSEY: We have lots of cute little ideas like that
SECOND FLOWER FAIRY: Leave him alone. You have pestered
him enough.
THIRD FLOWER FAIRY: Can't you see how uncomfortable he is?
TOPSEY : Certainly we can. And we mean to make him more un-
comfortable.
TIPSEY (Tries to pull HANS away by the leg) : Come on. Try
being naughty once, and see what fun it is. There is no fun in
being good all the time,
HANS: That's what you think. I am often naughty, and I don't
think it's fun. You make people you love feel sorry, and you
get punished and everything. Oh, dear, why doesn't someone
come?
FOURTH FLOWER FAIRY (Sadly) : I wish we could get help, but
we are only dreams. Maybe if one of us could go to some friend
of yours —
FIFTH FLOWER FAIRY: That's an idea! (Claps her hands.) I'll
go. I'll go to little Katrinka in a dream, and tell her to come to
you. (She runs out.)
TOPSEY (In alarm) : Hurry, Tipsey. We haven't much time if
that meddler succeeds in reaching Katrinka.
SIXTH FLOWER FAIRY (Severely) : She will. The good fairies
succeed. Why don't you both turn over a new leaf and join our
ranks instead?
TOPSEY: No, thanks. Somebody has to create mischief. We like
to push children off the quays into the water, and to make holes
in dykes. And we like to make wars, and make people hate each
other, too.
FIRST FLOWER FAIRY: Maybe if we recite some poetry for you the
time will go faster. (She recites.)
Bring little flowers that bloom all day
Make a dull corner more cheerful and gay.
SECOND FLOWER FAIRY:
Tulips and hyacinths bloom everywhere
Making dark places more cheerful and fair.
TIPSEY (Covers his ears with his hands) : Oh ! Oh ! I don't like it.
THIRD FLOWER FAIRY:
Pick them and place them in your bright bouquet
To gladden the table on Tulip Day.
LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND 585
FOURTH FLOWER FAIRY:
Sweet is the message and brimful of joy
That each flower brings to each small girl and boy.
FIFTH FLOWER FAIRY:
Wherever you are, we want you to know
Of the beauty that blooms where the flowers grow.
SIXTH FLOWER FAIRY:
Gentle and pure as a Dutch maiden's prayer
And the thoughts of the flowers that breathe everywhere.
SEVENTH FLOWER FAIRY :
Give the best that you have, as the flowers do,
And the best will always come back to you.
EIGHTH FLOWER FAIRY:
The fragrance of flowers is round and about
Trying to put the bad dreams to rout.
TOPSEY: But that is something you cannot do. We are here, and
here we stay.
TIPSEY : The dyke belongs to us. We live here.
HANS: Go away.
TOPSEY: You go away.
HANS: Try and make me. (Bright light shines on HANS.)
TOPSEY: See, how the moon shines, Hans. Be sensible. Pretty
soon you won't be able to feel anything at all.
TIPSEY: Stop bothering about a lot of people who don't mean
anything to you.
HANS : Everybody means something to me. I won't let the dyke
break. (Shuts his eyes and prays, as FLOWER FAIRIES hum very
softly.) Father, I cannot fold my hands, but Thou Art One who
understands. I know Thou wilt listen anyway. Help save Thy
people from danger, I pray. Give me the strength to hold on
tight Please, send some help ere morning light (As he has been
praying, TIPSEY and TOPSEY go, cowering, towards boulder, and
hide behind it. The stage becomes very brightly lighted.)
TIPSEY (Peeks from behind boulder) : It is the dawn.
TOPSEY: Yes, he has won, and we must go back into the Zuyder
Zee,
FIRST FLOWER FAIRY: Good always conquers evil. See, some-
one is coming with help. Be of good cheer, Hans. (They all run
off stage, as the Dutch children, led by JAN -and KATRINKA,
carrying lanterns, enter left.)
586 LITTLE HERO OF HOLLAND
KATRINKA: It is true. My dream was right. Oh, Hans, Hans,
how brave you are. I had a dream that you were here, so I woke
everybody up, and here we are.
JAN (Putting down his lantern) : And not a moment too soon,
I should think. (Kneels down beside HANS, and takes a plug
from his pocket.) See, I have brought some plugs to fit into the
hole. I hope one of them fits. The men are on their way with
help for us. (Gently withdraws HANS' hand, and quickly inserts
plug.) Yes, it fits. But he has fainted, poor little fellow.
HANS (Opens one eye) : No, I haven't Only my hand hurts
rather badly.
JAN: Of course it does. Why shouldn't it? Spending the night in
the icy water.
HILDA: Weren't you scared, Hans?
HANS : Now that I think of it, I was scared to death. I am glad
that you are all here now. But I had some very pretty dreams to
keep me company.
JACOB: If it were not for you we would all be fighting for our
lives at this very moment We might even be dead. (Bows low
to him.) I for one am very proud to know you, little hero of
Holland.
HILDA (Curtsies) : And so am I.
JAN : So are we all.
HANS : When your country and those you love are in danger you
forget everything except that you must do something to save
them. It is easy then to be brave.
JAN (Fervently) : Of such stuff as you are heroes made.
THE END
RUMPELSTBLTSKEN
by Helen Cotts Bennett
Characters
KING
JONATHAN, a huntsman
RICHARD, a huntsman
PETER, a huntsman
MILLAR, owner of the mill
MARILYN, his daughter
RTJMPELSTILTSKEN, a dwarf
MESSENGER
SERVANT
SCENE 1
SETTING: The King's courtroom.
AT RISE: KING is seated on throne, reading scroll in hand, as
HUNTSMEN enter and bow low before him.
KING (Jovially, rolling up scroll) : So — you have returned from
your hunting, my men. What luck did you have?
JONATHAN : Indeed the hunting was not as good as usual.
RICHARD: The deer were scarce.
JONATHAN: Wild game, in general, was not in evidence.
PETER (Eagerly) : 'Tis true, but (Pause) we interrupted our
hunting, Your Majesty, to bring you news of great importance.
KING (Surprised) : News, you say? What kind of news?
JONATHAN: It happened this way, Your Majesty. One night we
chanced to come upon an old mill at the edge of the forest, and
in the mill lived an old Miller with, his beautiful daughter.
KING (Musing) : Mmmmmm, a beautiful daughter —
JONATHAN: Yes, Your Majesty. We found this maiden to be of
great charm —
PETER (Interrupting) : And she was also very accomplished.
587
588 RUMPELSTILTSKEN
KING : Accomplished, you say —
RICHARD (Nodding head) : Oh, indeed.
JONATHAN (Leaning head toward KING, confidentially) : The
maiden spins gold out of straw !
KING (Astonished) : Gold out of straw? (Disgusted) Impossible!
(Eagerly) Did you see her?
JONATHAN (Hesitating) : No — not exactly, but her father boast-
ed that she has spun it many times.
RICHARD : Yes, he has seen her.
KING (Flustered) : Well — where is she? Where can I find her?
A maiden with such accomplishments must not be neglected !
JONATHAN (Happily) : That is what we thought, Your Majesty,
so —
PETER (Delightedly) : We brought the Miller and his daughter to
court with us.
KING (Pleased) : You did? Well, bring them to me at once.
JONATHAN (Bows, goes to door, calls out) : The king wishes to
see you. (MILLER and DAUGHTER enter.)
MILLER (Bowing low before KING) : Your Majesty, this is a
great honor for a poor old miller.
KING (Friendly) : The story these men tell me about you and
your daughter interests me greatly. Is your daughter really as
clever as you say?
MILLER (Swells with pride) : Indeed and even more so ! She has
many accomplishments!
KING: There is only one in which I am interested.
MILLER: And which one is that?
KING : The claim that your daughter can spin gold out of straw.
MILLER (Chagrined) : Indeed, did I say that?
KING: You did!
MILLER (Visibly perturbed) : Perhaps — perhaps — ah —
KING (Matter-of-fact-tike) : I have decided to find out if this
story is true, so I will have a spinning wheel and a pile of straw
placed in the next room —
MARILYN (Interrupting) : But, Your Majesty, I know not how
to spin straw into gold. It was just an idle boast.my father made.
KING: We shall see. Come with me. (MARILYN follows KING to
door of next room.) Now, here is the room. When I return, see
that all the straw has been spun and that gold is heaped in its
place. If you value your life, you will spin it quickly and well.
RUMPELSTILTSKEN 589
MARILYN (Tearfully) : But, my King —
MILLER : Perhaps I was a bit hasty in —
KING: I have reasons to believe you were not. Come, we will
leave your daughter to her work.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Room in palace.
AT RISE : MARILYN is sitting alone, weeping.
MARILYN (Sorrowfully) : How can anyone spin straw into gold?
I know not how ! When the King returns, he will surely put me
to death. What can I do? What can I do?
DWARF (Hopping into room, bells jingling on his shoes) : Good
morning, good morning, my pretty maiden. Why are you so
unhappy?
MARILYN : The King has commanded me to spin this straw into
gold and I know not how.
DWARF : Hmmm ! A sorry state of affairs.
MARILYN : Indeed you are right. My life is in danger !
DWARF (Business-like) : Pretty maiden, what will you give me
if I spin the straw for you.
MARILYN (Surprised) : You? Can you spin straw into gold?
DWARF : Indeed. I have spun it many times.
MARILYN (Excited) : Oh, I will give you anything — I'll — I'll
give you this necklace I'm wearing.
DWARF (Looking at necklace) : Hmmm ! A pretty necklace it is.
Very well, let me sit at the spinning wheel.
MARILYN (Eagerly) : Do you think you can spin it?
DWARF: Of course. (Starts to spin.)
Round about, Round about,
Lo and behold!
590 RUMPELSTILTSKEN
Reel away, Reel away
Straw into gold.
(Blows gold colored bits of paper through tube, so it covers
pile of straw.)
MARILYN : Oh, the straw is changing. It is beautiful.
DWARF:
Round about, Round about,
Lo and behold.
Reel away, Red away,
Straw into gold !
(Blows more papers through, onto pile.)
MARILYN : It is really gold !
DWARF : Yes, pretty maiden, the straw has turned, just as I prom-
ised it would.
MARILYN: Oh, little dwarf, you have saved my life! (Hands him
necklace.) Here is my necklace for your pay,
DWARF (Skips around:) It has been a pleasure! Now I must
leave. Good-bye! (Exits.)
MARILYN : Goodbye, little dwarf. (Pause) Now, I must call the
King. (Calls off stage) King! King — Come quickly!
KING (Entering) : You have finished so soon?
MARILYN (Proudly) : Yes, yes, Your Majesty. Here is the pile
of gold.
KING (Jovially) : An excellent task well performed.
MARILYN: Then it pleases Your Majesty, and I may go home?
KING : Indeed, you are all that of which your father has boasted,
but as for going home — indeed not, my child. You must spin
some more.
MARILYN (Alarmed) : But my King —
KING (Walking to another pile of straw) : Now in this other cor-
ner, I have placed another pile of straw, higher and larger than
the first. See that you spin it well.
MARILYN : But, my King —
KING (Interrupting) : Do not use your strength in idle chatter,
my child; spin, spin, and then spin some more.
MARILYN : But King I have already spun this large pile for you.
Is not that enough to prove my worth?
KING (Doubtfully) : You are afraid of this final test?
MARILYN : Oh no !
RUMPELSTILTSKEN 591
KING: Then to your work, and remember this. If you spin this
well, I will make you Queen of all the land. A poor miller's
daughter, a queen. That should make your fingers fly. (Leaving
room) Ha, ha, ha ! A poor miller's daughter a queen.
MARILYN: I hope the dwarf is still in the palace. (Calls softly)
Dwarf, little dwarf, where are you? (Looks around corners in
room) Please little dwarf, come and help me once more.
(Pause) Oh, he doesn't answer. He's gone. Now, what will I
do ? I will try to spin it myself. I'll say the same words :
Round about, Round about,
Lo and behold.
Reel away, Reel away,
Straw into gold.
It is no use. The straw will not lose its dull, ugly color. What
will I do?
DWARF (Tumbles into room, bells on shoes jingling) : Ha, ha, ha!
You could never change that pile to gold. You haven't the magic
I have.
MARILYN (Happy to see him) : Oh, little dwarf, I called you,
but when you didn't answer I thought you had gone away.
DWARF (Hopping about) : You called me just in time. In an-
other minute I would have been far away. (Stops. Looks at
her.) Hmmmm. I see you are troubled again.
MARILYN : Indeed. The King has given me this last pile of straw
and I can do nothing with it.
DWARF: Is he never satisfied?
MARILYN : He v/ill not ask me again, if I can only change this last
bit of straw.
DWARF : Ah, and he will make you his Queen. I heard him say so.
MARILYN : Yes, that's true. Please help me once more.
DWARF (Hopping around) : Very well, but what will you give
me?
MARILYN : I'm sorry, I have nothing. I've already given you my
necklace.
DWARF : Then I'm sorry I cannot help you. I always get paid for
my work.
MARILYN (Pleading) : But the King will put me to death.
DWARF (Stops dancing) : Let me think ! (Pause) Ah, I have it.
Will you promise to give me anything I ask?
592 RUMPELSTILTSKBN
MARILYN: Yes, anything!
DWARF : Then promise to give me the first child you have, when
you become Queen.
MARILYN (Surprised) : My first child?
DWARF: Yes. I'm a lonely little fellow. I wish to have company.
MARILYN: Very well. I'll agree to anything — anything — if
you'll only spin the gold.
DWARF: Remember, a bargain is a bargain! Your first child shall
belong to me! (Sits of spinning wheel and spins)
Round about, Round about,
Lo and behold.
Reel away, Reel away
Straw into gold!
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The QUEEN'S room.
TIME : Two years later.
SERVANT: The King has been playing with the little Prince all
morning.
MARILYN : It is time for the Prince to have his nap. Will you take
him to his room. I will be there shortly.
SERVANT (Bowing) : Yes, Your Highness. I will go to him at
once.
DWARF (Tumbling in, bells jingling) : Ha, ha, ha! Here I am
again.
MARILYN (Startled) : Why — why — who are you?
DWARF (Haughtily) : Have you forgotten me so quickly? Re-
member it was I who made you a queen, by spinning the straw
into gold.
RUMPELSTILTSKEN 593
MARILYN : Oh, of course, I didn't recognize you.
DWARF (Disgusted) : Queens have poor memories. (Brightly) I
have come for my pay.
MARILYN: Your pay?
DWARF (Disgusted again) : Indeed, you have not forgotten that,
too, have you? Your first child was to be given to me.
MARILYN (Alarmed) :'Oh, little dwarf, I had forgotten our bar-
gain. Please do not take the little Prince from us.
DWARF (Firmly) : A bargain is a bargain!
MARILYN (Pleading) : I know, but I will give you money, lots of
it, or — or — land, acres and acres of it, if you will take it,
and forget about the child.
DWARF (Firmly) : No, a bargain is a bargain!
MARILYN (Sorrowfully) : But, little dwarf, when the King finds
that I have tricked him, he will put me to death. Please help
me. My life is in your hands.
DWARF (Softening) : But you promised —
MARILYN (Urgently) : Yes, yes, I know, but now I am so dis-
tressed
DWARF (Briskly) : Very well, your pleadings have softened my
heart I will give you one more chance. In three days I will
return to this room. If you can tell me my name at that time,
you may keep the Prince. If not, I will take him home with me
to the forest. It will not be an easy one to guess. Remember,
just three days you shall have, and no more. Good day! (Tum-
bles out of room.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: QUEEN'S room.
TIME: Three days later.
SERVANT: Why are you so sad, my lady?
MARILYN (Sorrovufully) : Today the little dwarf returns. If I
594 RUMPELSTILTSKEN
cannot tell him his name, he will take the little Prince home
with him.
SERVANT (Hopefully) : But you have sent messengers all over
the land to learn new names. Surely one of them will bring the
right one back.
MARILYN (Shaking head) : No, I'm afraid not. Most of the mes-
sengers have already returned. They learned not a single new
or different one.
SERVANT (Brightly) : Here comes a messenger now.
MESSENGER {Enters, bows low) : My Queen.
MARILYN (Anxiously) : What news? Have you learned a new
name?
MESSENGER (Excitedly) : Yes, I have. Yesterday as I was climb-
ing a high hill, I saw a hut. Before the hut burned a fire, and
round about the fire, a funny little dwarf was dancing on one
leg singing:
"Merrily the feast I'll make
Today I'll brew, tomorrow bake,
Merrily I'll dance and sing,
For next day will a stranger bring,
Little does my lady dream,
Rumpelstiltsken is my name."
MARILYN (Thoughtfully) : Rumpelstiltsken !
MESSENGER: Yes, the name is very unusual and it belongs to a
little dwarf.
MARILYN (Excitedly) : You are right. That must be the name we
are seeking. My good man, you shall be well rewarded for this.
MESSENGER (Bows) : Thank you, my Queen.
MARILYN (Anxiously) : Now leave me alone. The dwarf "will
soon be here. (MESSENGER and SERVANT bow and leave room.)
DWARF (Dancing in) : Ha, ha, ha! Today is the day!
MARILYN (Slyly) : You seem very happy today, little dwarf.
DWARF (Dancing around) : Today is the day. By nightfall, I will
have your little Prince safely in my hut in the midst of the great
forest
MARILYN : That is, if I cannot guess your name.
DWARF: You will never guess it, I am certain!
MARILYN: We shall see. (Sweetly) Is your name John?
DWARF (Laughing) : Ha, ha, ha! No, Madam, it is not! (Dances
around room.)
RUMPELSTILTSKEN 595
MARILYN (Thoughtfully) : Is it Tom?
DWARF (Turning somersaults) : Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, Madam, it
is not!
MARILYN (Saucily) : Could your name be Timothy?
DWARF (Doubled over, holding his sides) : Ho, ho, ho ! 'Scuse
me, Madam, for holding my sides. But your guesses make me
laugh so hard. Indeed my name is not Timdthy. (Suddenly
sober) You have just one more guess.
MARILYN (Slowly) : I wonder — could your name possibly be —
Rumpelstiltsken ?
DWARF (Surprised) : Rumpelstiltsken? (Angrily) How did you
know? The witches must have told you! The witches !
MARILYN (Eagerly) : Then it is your name!
DWARF (Stamping around) : You knew it all the time. You cheat-
ed me ! I will still be lonely.
MARILYN (Gratefully) : No, I only wanted to keep the little
Prince. And now, because a bargain is a bargain, and you are so
lonely, how would you like to come and live with us?
DWARF (Surprised) : You mean, this beautiful palace will be my
home?
MARILYN : Yes, and you can play with the little Prince every day.
DWARF (Joyfully) : Then I'll never be lonely again !
MARILYN (Happily) : One kindness deserves another. You helped
me when I needed it, and now I will return the favor.
DWARF (Tumbling and singing) : And we'll all live happily to-
gether forever after!
THE END
SLEEPING BEAUTY
by Helen Cotts Bennett
Characters
THE KING
THE QUEEN
THE SEVEN FAIRIES
WICKED FAIRY
THE PRINCESS
SPINNING WOMAN
GUARD
PRINCE
THREE HUNTERS
SETTING : In the King's Palace.
TIME: Once Upon a Time.
AT RISE: SEVEN FAIRIES are grouped together talking.
IST FAIRY: The King has commanded us to appear at his royal
palace today —
3RD FAIRY : And no one seems to know the reason !
2ND FAIRY : The messenger said we were to be here at high noon.
SRD FAIRY : It is past that time now.
IST FAIRY (Counting) : Let me see, we are all here, aren't we?
4rn FAIRY : Yes, all except one —
IST FAIRY: Which one is missing?
4TH FAIRY: Don't you remember? The Wicked Fairy isn't here —
the one who brings everyone such bad luck!
STH FAIRY: Surely you would not expect the King to summon
her, too.
6-TH FAIRY : She might bring disaster to the entire household !
STH FAIRY : Furthermore, she never associates with us !
4TH FAIRY (Laughing) : At least, not if she can help it.
IST FAIRY (Seriously) : The King must have outstanding news
for us —
SLEEPING BEAUTY 597
GOOD FAIRY: Or perhaps an event of great importance has taken
place. (Trumpets blow.)
ROYAL GUARD (Calls out) : The King and Queen and Princess
Mary!
FAIRIES (To each other, surprised) : Princess Mary! (KiNG and
QUEEN enter pushing perambulator, elaborately adorned with
ribbons and bows. FAIRIES bow low.)
KING : Good Fairies, I know you must wonder why you have been
summoned to the royal palace.
IST FAIRY: Indeed, Your Majesty, it has caused us great specu-
lation.
KING (Smiles) : As you can see, since your last visit, we have
been honored with a new little Princess. Princess Mary !
FAIRIES (Nod at each other happily) : Princess Mary.
KING: We thought it most fitting and proper that you fairies
should be the godmothers to the little child —
QUEEN : And so we have invited you to the christening which will
be held today.
GOOD FAIRY : We are highly honored, Your Majesties !
2ND FAIRY : Not knowing that this was to be a christening we did
not bring our usual presents —
GOOD FAIRY : But it is within the power of each fairy to bestow,
with her magic wand, a priceless gift upon the little Princess.
IST FAIRY: May we render our gifts now?
KING: Indeed, it will make the Queen and myself very happy.
( Both go to throne at back of stage and sit. Baby buggy remains
in center of stage.)
IST FAIRY (Raising her wand over carriage) : Princess Mary, I
bestow upon you, great beauty — you shall grow up to be the
fairest person in all the world.
2ND FAIRY (Raising wand) : Princess Mary, I bestow upon you
a disposition as sweet as that of an angel.
3RD FAIRY (Raising wand) : Princess Mary, I bestow upon you
a great singing voice.
4xH FAIRY: Princess Mary, I bestow upon you the gift of good
health and a joyful spirit.
STH FAIRY: Princess Mary, you shall be gracious and kind, and
help others less fortunate than yourself.
6TH FAIRY : Princess Mary, you shall have great wealth and com-
forts throughout your life. (Commotion off stage. WICKED
FAIRY hobbles in.)
598 SLEEPING BEAUTY
WICKED FAIRY (Stamping her foot) : So, I am not good enough
to be invited to the christening, eh? Because I am no longer
young and beautiful you would not have me, eh? Well, the
newly born Princess shall suffer for this !
KING (Rising to his feet) : A thousand pardons for this mistake,
Wicked Fairy. We had no idea you were still living.
QUEEN : No one has heard from you for over fifty years — not
since you shut yourself away in the old stone tower.
WICKED FAIRY (Still raging) : That is no excuse! You could
have sent a messenger to find out! I have been slighted!
But do not forget — I, too, can bestow a gift upon the little
Princess !
'KiNG(Tearfutty) : Please, do not cast a wicked spell over the
little child.
WICKED FAIRY: It will be worse than that! (Goes to cradle, raises
wand) Little Princess, when you become full grown, you shall
pierce your hand while spinning, and you shall die of the
wound!
QUEEN (Anxiously) : Please, please take back your wicked gift!
KING (Pleading) : I will give you my land, my kingdom, any-
thing!
WICKED FAIRY (Firmly) : My word is spoken ! It shall be !
(Laughing) Ha, ha, ha ! The little Princess shall suffer for your
mistake! Ha, ha, ha! (Exits)
QUEEN (Tearfully) : Oh, what can we do? Our child has been
cursed !
KING (Hopelessly) : What can we do?
GOOD FAIRY (Stepping forward) : Do not grieve too greatly, my
King and Queen, as yet, I have not bestowed my gift upon the
little Princess.
KING (Pleading) : Then take away this terrible curse, I beseech
you!
GOOD FAIRY: Unfortunately, I have not the power to change en-
tirely the ill fortune just wished upon the Princess. The Prin-
cess will indeed pierce her finger with a spindle, but she will
not die. Instead, she will sink into a deep sleep, that will last one
hundred years. At the end of that time, a Prince shall come
and awaken her.
QUEEN (Alarmed) : A sleep that will last one hundred years?
KING: Thank you, good Fairy, you have done your best to undo
this terrible deed. However, I believe I have a plan that will
succeed entirely.
SLEEPING BEAUTY 599
QUEEN : And what is that?
KING (Standing, as if giving proclamation) : Henceforth and
forever after, I forbid all persons in my kingdom to spin, or have
spinning wheels in their homes. If my command is disregarded,
all offending persons will meet with instant death !
QUEEN (Brightening) : That is a fine plan! If there are no spin-
ning wheels, the Princess cannot pierce her finger on one.
GOOD FAIRY (Shaking head) : Good King and Queen, I hope that
this will prove true, but alas, a Fairy's gift has never yet been
washed away by royal commands !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: A tower-room in the palace, fifteen years later.
AT RISE : SPINNING WOMAN is busy at a spinning wheel. THE
PRINCESS enters.
SPINNER (Stands up, bows) : Welcome to my little room, beauti-
ful Princess.
PRINCESS: Thank you!
SPINNER: How did you find it — it is in the very top of the
castle tower?
PRINCESS : I was wandering through the castle today, and I found
a winding stair. It led me to this room.
SPINNER: So that's it. Let me look at you. I haven't seen you
since you were a tiny baby.
PRINCESS : I am very much of a young lady now.
SPINNER: So you are, and you have grown to be most beautiful.
PRINCESS: Thank you. (Pause) What a strange wheel you are
working. I have not seen any like it before.
SPINNER: This is a spinning wheel, my pretty child.
PRINCESS : It is a very odd contraption. What makes the wheel
go around?
600 SLEEPING BEAUTY
SPINNER: The lever here at the bottom. See I work it with my
foot
PRINCESS : How charming. Do let me try to work it.
SPINNER: Oh, Princess, never, never! A pretty princess like
you should never labor with spinning wheels.
PRINCESS : Oh, please, just once.
SPINNER: It would be better if you just sat on that stool and
talked with me.
PRINCESS : But I want to learn to spin. You could grant me no
greater favor than that.
SPINNER (Latching) : Very well, then, if it means so much to
you. Here sit at the wheel.
PRINCESS: Oh, this will be such fun.
SPINNER: Now, take this spindle. (Hands spindle to her)
PRINCESS (Takes it, drops it) : Oh, oh, I have pierced my finger.
SPINNER: Never mind. I often do that. It is nothing.
PRINCESS (Raising hand to forehead) : But — but I fed as
though I were going to faint.
SPINNER (Excitedly) : I will fetch you some water.
PRINCESS: Hurry. Please hurry.
SPINNER (With glass of water in hand): Here is the water.
Princess! Princess! Wake up. What can be the matter with
you? Princess!
KING (Entering) : Is this the room? (To GUARD)
GUARD (Entering also) : Yes, I saw her climbing the stairs. She
must be here.
KING (To SPINNER who has run to him) : Have you seen the
Princess? I have searched for her everywhere.
SPINNER : She is here, Your Majesty, but she suddenly fell in a
swoon.
KING (Kneeling beside PRINCESS) : Princess, speak to me !
(Pause) Woman, what has happened?
SPINNER: I was sitting here spinning when —
KING (Angrily) : Spinning? I commanded every spinning wheel
be destroyed. You have disobeyed!
GOOD FAIRY (Entering) : So, the cruel fairy's wish has come to
pass. The Princess has fallen into a deep sleep.
KING: Yes, good fairy, it has happened. Can't you do some-
thing?
GOOD FAIRY: I am afraid I can do nothing. The Princess will
sleep one hundred years. Nothing can prevent it.
SLEEPING BEAUTY 601
KING (In despair) : But a hundred years — by that time every-
one in this palace will be dead and gone. When my poor Prin-
cess awakens, she will be entirely alone.
GOOD FAIRY: That is the only thing I can arrange. See, I have
my magic wand. I will go through this palace touching all liv-
ing things — the kitchen maids, the page boys, the footmen,
even the horses in the stables. They, too, shall sleep through
the hundred years, and all shall awaken when she does.
KING: That is a good plan, my fairy. Please start with me.
GOOD FAIRY (Touching him) : Very welL There.
KING (Yawns, falls asleep on floor) : I — am — so — sleepy.
SPINNER: Touch me, good Fairy.
GOOD FAIRY (Touching her) : There — and now you, Guard —
there. (Both yawn, jatt asleep.)
GOOD FAIRY (Goes to door, looks back) : Pleasant dreams, every-
one! (Softly)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING : In a forest, one hundred years later.
AT RISE: PRINCE and THREE HUNTERS wander on stage. They
are tired.
PRINCE: We have come a long way. Let us stop and rest for
awhile.
IST HUNTER (Sitting) : Yes. Our hunting has taken us farther
in the woods than we have ever come before.
2ND HUNTER: It has been many years since I passed this way.
SRD HUNTER : And I. The last time I'was but a boy. A long time
that is, indeed.
PRINCE : Look, do my eyes, perchance, see a castle on the top of
that hill, there in the distance?
IST HUNTER: Yes, indeed. 'Tis said that is the castle of some
fairy.
602 SLEEPING BEAUTY
SRD HUNTER: Or a monster — no one knows.
PRINCE (Surprised) : What? Has no man paid the castle a visit
to find out?
IST HUNTER (Shaking head) : No one has been there for many a
year. There is a forest about the castle that is so thick and
thorny, a man could not get through.
SRD HUNTER: One would not know a castle were there, did the
top not show above the trees.
PRINCE: Truly, it is a castle of mystery. I should like to ex-
plore it.
IST HUNTER: Prince, more than fifty years ago I heard my father
say that there was in that castle the most beautiful princess ever
seen. She was supposed to be under the spell of some fairy, and
was to sleep for a hundred years. Then she was to be awakened
by a Prince, who was later to marry her.
PRINCE: And does no one know if the story be true?
IST HUNTER: No one knows for no one has been able to reach
the castle to explore it.
PRINCE: Good. Then it will be an exciting adventure for us.
Come, we will see what this castle of mystery contains !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: Same as scene two. The tower room, a few days later.
AT RISE: Men are entering room cautiously, looking around.
IST HUNTER: Prince, let us go no further. This castle is haunted,
there is no doubt about it.
PRINCE: Yes, it is all very strange, I will agree. But we have
fared well, so far.
IST HUNTER: Tis true, but there is always a time when one's
luck fails.
PRINCE: Nonsense. You told me the forest around this castle
SLEEPING BEAUTY 603
was so thick and thorny a man couldn't get through. We had
no trouble.
IST HUNTER: I can't understand it Other men have tried before
us, and they could never gain entrance to this place, but for us,
the trees and bushes seemed to part to let us pass.
2ND HUNTER (Afraid) : It is magic, that's what —
SRD HUNTER: And the courtyard, filled with the bodies of men
and animals — The guards sitting there with their muskets on
their shoulders. Bah — it gives me the shivers!
IST HUNTER: And now, look at this room. It is the same as the
others. Filled with dead people!
PRINCE: But they are not dead. Haven't you noticed?
IST HUNTER: Not dead? Then what are they?
PRINCE : They are sleeping! Look, they all have rosy cheeks, and
red lips. They are far from dead.
2ND HUNTER: It's just what I told you — ifs magic! Lefs get
out of here.
SRD HUNTER: We can tell by their clothing and dress they
haven't stirred for a century or more.
IST HUNTER: Prince —
PRINCE: Yes?
IST HUNTER: Look who sleeps on yonder cot?
PRINCE: A sleeping beauty she is, if ever my eyes beheld one.
IST HUNTER: There is a guard at her feet —
2ND HUNTER: And this must be the King — he has a crown on
his head.
PRINCE : Then she must be the princess — the icing's daughter,
no doubt. But what could have caused this strange affair. (Goes
toward her.)
IST HUNTER (Alarmed) : Prince, stay away from her! Do not
touch her!
PRINCE: Why?
IST HUNTER: You, too, might come under the sleeping spell.
PRINCE (Looks at her) : I am not afraid. I will see if I can
awaken her.
2ND HUNTER: Prince, I implore you — do not touch these sleep-
ing people.
PRINCE: I cannot leave this beauty now. I have fallen quite in
love with her.
IST HUNTER (Anxiously) : Prince, have you gone out of your
mind?
604 SLEEPING BEAUTY
PRINCE: I am going to take her hand. There. (Takes it) She is
warm and very much alive.
2ND HUNTER (Alarmed) : She moved her hand I saw her.
Let us flee for our lives.
IST HUNTER: Yes, she might be a witch.
PRINCE : Nonsense! A witch could not be so fair. Go if you must,
but I shall stay.
IST HUNTER (To others) : Let us wait outside the door. (All go
to door)
2ND HUNTER (Looks back): Prince, you are so foolhardy.
(HUNTERS exit)
PRINCE: I will shake her gently. (Softly) Princess, Princess,
awaken! (PRINCESS yawns, and makes sounds of awakening.)
PRINCE : You are really coming to life. Open your eyes.
PRINCESS (Yawns. Opens eyes) : O — how — sleepy — I — am!
(Slowly)
KING (Awakes and yawns. Sees the PRINCE) : Why, you must be
the Prince. I thought you would never get here.
PRINCE: Have you been sleeping long?
KING: Oh, a hundred years or more.
GUARD (Yawning) : Oh, hum I What a long sleep for a guard. I
must be about my duties. (He goes out.)
KING (To PRINCE) : You have shown great bravery to come
here and rescue us from the curse of the Wicked Fairy. To
reward you for your courage, you may have anything within
my power.
PRINCE: There is just one thing I desire, Your Majesty.
KING (Jovially) : Yes, yes, I know — the hand of my daughter
in marriage. Well, it shall be granted, and with her goes my
entire kingdom for you to rule.
PRINCE (Happily): Thank you, sir! And I'm sure we'll live
happily together forever after! (Curtain falls.)
THE END
THE LION AND THE MOUSE
by Rowena Bennett
SETTING: A woodsy place. At the right, a net is caught in the
bushes.
AT RISE : Enter LION, left.
LION {Looking about) :
Oh for a nap in the jungle shade!
Much too long on the plains I've stayed.
Fine is my coat, hut it's furry and hot,
And I'd like to he where the sun is not.
(He finds a comfortable couch of grass center, back)
Here is a grassy hed for me
With a vine overhead for a canopy.
(He settles himself comfortably, paws stretched out in front
of him.)
Oh, let him tremble and let him weep
Who dares disturb the lion in sleep!
(He yawns and closes his eyes. The MOUSE enters.)
MOUSE (Dancing about stage on tiptoe) :
When a mousey starts a-danring through the wildwood on
her toes,
When a mousey goes a-prancing, in her childhood, no one
knows
That she passes through the grasses, for so quietly she goes !
When a mousey starts a-dancing and a-prancing on her toes.
(As she dances she circles nearer and nearer to the LION with-
out seeing him.)
When a mousey starts a-leaping
She disturbs no one who's sleeping,
For she does the high jump nightly
And she practices it lightly.
Till she's really very spritely
In her dancing and her leaping
And disturbs no one who's sleeping.
605
606 'THE UON AND THE MOUSE
(As she chants the last two lines she runs right across the
LION'S paw.)
LION (Angrily) : What? What's that?
MOUSE (Terrified) : Help! Help! (She tries to run away but he
holds her back with his paw.)
LION (Fiercely) :
Who dares disturb this kingly beast
Shall turn into a kingly feast. . .
MOUSE (Pleadingly) :
No ! Spare me, spare me, monarch royal !
I did not mean to be disloyal
Or disrespectful to your highness
I'm truly noted for my shyness
And never would have been so bold
As to come near, had I been told
That you were sleeping in the jungle.
I really didn't mean to bungle.
I didn't see your outstretched paw. . .
LION : Well then, it's surely time you saw it now (He lifts it
threateningly)
MOUSE (Shrinking and trembling) :
I pray you do not strike me
If you but knew me you would like me.
Oh save my life! And when I'm braver
Someday I shall return the favor.
LION (Now holding on to her with both paws) :
Ha, ha! Ho, ho! My what a joke!
I never knew a mouse who spoke
Of saving lions. That's absurd —
The funniest thing I ever heard.
(He roars with laughter)
MOUSE (Hurt):
My promise does not call for mirth.
Strange things may happen on this earth.
My mother taught me from my birth
That even mice may be of worth. . .
LION:
Well, I shall lift my giant paws
And free you. But it's not because
I think you'll ever be of use
To one like me I've no excuse
THE LION AND THE MOUSE 607
For letting such a silly go
Except that you're so small, you know,
And I am much too tender hearted.
(He releases her.)
There ! Run along. It's time we parted.
MOUSE (Rushing off stage in a hurry) :
0 thank you, thank you, gracious long!
Your kindness is a noble thing
As sure as there is sun and shade
Within this wood, you'll be repaid.
(Exit MOUSE.)
LION (Yawning and stretching)'.
1 guess I'd better move along (He rises)
The thrush begins its evensong,
The sunlight wanes. The shadows throng.
It will be time for hunting soon
I hope there'll be a hunter's moon.
(He starts off stage, right, but gets caught in the net.)
Oh, what is this? I'm in a tangle.
(He rolls over and gets more tangled)
I'm going to choke. I'm going to strangle.
I must be caught within a net,
A dreadful trap that men have set.
(He roars as he struggles.)
The more I pull the tighter yet
These knotted strings and meshes get.
(Enter MOUSE cautiously)
MOUSE :
Oh did I hear the lion roaring
As though in pain? Or was he snoring?
LION (Moaning) :
Take care. Take care, O, don't come near,
You foolish mouse! There's danger here.
I'm caught within a trapper's net
And there's not been a lion yet
Who could outwit the trapper man. . .
MOUSE :
Well, then, perhaps a mousie can.
(She runs forward and examines the net.)
Ah, well and good, it's made of rope. . .
608 THE LION AND THE MOUSE
LION : And how can that fact give me hope?
MOUSE:
Because a rope will break with gnawing,
And my sharp teeth are made for sawing.
Now stop your struggling and your pawing. . .
(She settles herself to gnaw the rope.)
LION:
Can it be possible a mouse
Can free me from this prison-house
Of rope and string and knotted cord
Without the scissors or a sword?
(He sighs.)
Oh no, there are too many ropes
For you to gnaw, I have no hopes. . .
In all this time you've gnawed but one.
The men will come before you're done.
MOUSE (Holding up the .severed rope proudly) :
One rope's enough, when it's a drawstring (She putts it out.)
Let's see you do a little paw spring
(She unwraps the whole net easily, now.)
LION (Leaping to freedom) :
See ! I am free, quite free at last.
The rope no longer holds me fast;
And I no longer shall despise
Another creature for his size.
LION and MOUSE (Taking hands and dancing off stage together) :
Oh do not judge your friends in haste!
A .kindness never goes to waste.
THE END
THE THREE WISHES
by Cora Burling ame
Characters
MRS. KEHOE, a widow, 30
TERRY KEHOE, her son, 6
MAGGIE KEHOE, her daughter, 10
PATRICK, a truck driver, 20
MRS. McGiNNis, a neighbor, 40
COL. MOORE, a thoroughbred horse breeder
MIKE McGiNNis, 16
JILL McGiNNis, 11
A JEWELER
SETTING: A room furnished simply as a combination kitchen,
dining-room and living-room.
AT RISE : MRS. KEHOE watches the door leading into the yard, as
she puts- the finishing touches on a small print dress. She dis-
appears at left with it and returns immediately without it. She
takes out of a box a cake covered with white icing, into which
ten small pink candles are stuck, admires it, replaces it in the box
and hides it behind a pile of towels. Taking one of the towels,
she goes to the door.
MRS. KEHOE: Maggie! Terry 1
VOICES: Coming, Mother! Coming!
MRS. KEHOE (Standing in the door, smiling, looking out) : It's a
very fine pair of children I have, if I do say it myself, as
shouldn't (Raising her voice) Are you two feeding the pigs
or cutting up highjacks this fine 'morning with not a bite in
your mouths since last night's supper?
TERRY (Running, laughing, up to his mother) : I let Maggie pour
the swill because it's her birthday and she didn't spill so very
much because she's so old !
609
610 THE THREE WISHES
MRS. KEHOE (Laughing with him) : Come wash your hands and
to your breakfast! (She throws the towel to him) It's like your
father you are — God rest his soul — as if you were two peas
in one pod. He would see spilling good swill as a joke if some
one else did it! (She peers into the yard.) But what is Maggie
doing on her knees on the dew-wet green? (TERRY goes just
outside the door.)
TERRY (Calling) : 'Scuse me for reminding you where you are,
Mother. But it's surely not green but blue-grass she's kneeling
on. She's talking to five violets she found. (He appears, drying
his hands on the towel.)
MRS. KEHOE (Frowning and smiling at the same time) : Maggie !
Do you choose to eat burnt porridge on your birthday?
MAGGIE (Appearing with five violets and some leaves lying in her
outstretched hand) Mother, yesterday a girl at school spoke a
piece about fairies painting flowers. She said if you brought the
violets or whatever they were on, very kindly into the house,
they would stay on them, even though you couldn't see them.
(She transfers the flowers from her own to her mother's hands,
using great caution.) Please put them on the table while I wash
my hands.
TERRY (Laying the towel over her shoulder) : And if they do
come into the house? What's the good of things you can't see?
(She goes just outside the door.)
MAGGIE (Calling from outside the door) : They might give me
my three birthday wishes. They're supposed to bring good luck
into whatever house they enter.
MRS. KEHOE (Going to the table, lays the violets beside MAGGIE'S
bowl) : Three birthday wishes My ! My! (She ladles cereal
into three bowls, shakes up a bottle of milk and places, it with
glasses on the table. The children go to table.) Mind you keep
your thoughts on thankfulness, while we say grace, Maggie,
and not on birthday gifts !
MAGGIE (Demurely) : Yes, Mother. (They stand behind their
chairs and say a silent grace.)
ALL THREE (Aloud) : And especially do we thank Thee, Our
Father, in the name of Thy Son, that we were brought safely
out of our war-torn native land. Amen. (They seat themselves.
MAGGIE, turning her head and covering her mouth with her
hand, makes some slight movements.)
THE THREE WISHES 611
MRS. KEHOE: Maggie, put more milk on your porridge if it is too
hot. But start eating it !
TERRY (Attacking his porridge with a will) : She spit over her
little finger and made a wish.
MRS. KEHOE (Pouring a glass of milk for MAGGIE) : Will you
grieve me on your birthday by starving yourself, my daughter?
MAGGIE: The girls at school say if you spit only a teeny drop
over your little finger and make a wish, it will come true. I spit
a teeny drop and wished for the three things I want for my
birthday.
TERRY (Takes up the saltcellar, shakes it and places it on the table.
Grinning at his mother) : Empty.
MRS. KEHOE (Snatching it up before TERRY can rise to his feet,
she fills it from a T>ox she takes off the kitchen cabinet) : I'm
that excited by wearing earrings and my new dress on a morn-
ing of a weekday !
MAGGIE (Laying down her spoon) : What is salt, Mother?
MRS. KEHOE: Ask your brother, who is eating too fast. (She
smiles at TERRY.) You take up your spoon and let him lay his
down for a minute to tell us what salt is. He knows everything.
TERRY (Laying down his spoon) : I know what salt is. It's what
makes porridge taste like nothing if you don't put it in! (They
all laugh.) And Mother, I know more than Maggie does about
St. Patrick! She got a double A in school yesterday for the
best theme on St. Patrick, but she didn't know he drove the
snakes out of Ireland.
MAGGIE (Taking up her spoon, plays with her porridge) : I did
know about that, Mother. But I didn't put it in my theme be-
cause I believe St. Patrick was too kind to drown things in the
sea — even snakes. I think he must have changed them to birds !
And I wanted to write the nicest things I could believe about
St. Patrick, so good luck would come to both of us on our
birthdays. Maybe even in Heaven he has three wishes.
MRS. KEHOE (Laying down her spoon and leaning over the table) :
Maggie, you speak of three birthday wishes. What could they
be?
TERRY (Laughing) : A bundle of switches for one thing!
MRS. KEHOE: Hush Terry! Let your sister tell what her three
birthday wishes are. (There is the sound of a truck stopping
near the house.)
612 THE THREE WISHES
MAGGIE (With assurance) : I have long thought I should have on
my tenth birthday a string of coral and a bowl of goldfish. And
since I have lived in Kentucky, I have wanted to go to Hiring
Fair. (A whistle sounds outside the house.)
TERRY (Springing to his feet) : 'Scuse me, Mother ! It's Patrick I
(He runs, out.)
MRS. KEHOE (Rising from the table she looks distractedly about) :
My lace! Help me find my lace, Maggie! Patrick has come to
take my year's making of lace to the Mountain Home Indus-
tries' Booth at the Hiring Fair ! I do not know where I put it !
(They look under tables, chairs, and behind the crayon picture.)
MAGGIE (Lying flat on her stomach in front of the cot, drags a
small basket, filled with lace, from under it) : Here it is,
Mother. (She jumps up and hangs the basket on her mother's
arm.)
PATRICK (Appearing at the door) : You are to go with your lace
to the Hiring Fair, Mrs. Kehoe, according to what I'm told by
Colonel Moore!
MRS. KEHOE (Looking about distractedly) : But the dishes !
MAGGIE (Taking her mother's hat and cape out of a closet) : Let
them be I
PATRICK (Holding up three long green, tickets) : Maggie will come
along and Terry, if he will keep his legs out of the gears. Col.
Moore is treating all of his tenants to lunch and there are cou-
pons for the merry-go-round, the roller-coaster, rides on the
camel and what-not!
MAGGIE (Closing the window f taking the porridge pot off the
stove and laying a cloth over the soiled dishes on the breakfast
table) : 111 get my reefer and Terry's sweater.
MRS. KEHOE (Turning around and around in one spot) : We . . .
the three of us ... to the Hiring Fair?
PATRICK (Grinning toward MAGGIE, he drops the tickets into MRS.
KEHOE'S basket) : If you didn't plan on goin' to the Hiring
Fair why did you dress up in your best bib and tucker this
Saturday morning, Mrs. Kehoe?
MRS. KEHOE (After feeling the bow on her hair and her earrings,
she smoothes her new print dress) : Maggie wanted me to dress
up in my best because it's her birthday.
MAGGIE (Placing her mother's hat on her head and hanging her
cloak over her arm) : I thought we might be going to the Fair.
TERRY (Running up to the door) : What are you all waiting for?
THE THREE WISHES 613
MAGGIE: Nothing. (To TERRY) Take your sweater and be sure
you don't lose it. (PATRICK takes the basket off MRS. KEHOE'S
arm. He leads her out the door. MAGGIE stands with her hand
on the knob.) I'll close the door. (She waits till they are a little
way off. She fills a glass of water and places the violets in it.)
If you should be here, Little Painters, stay awake till I get back
and I'll show you something you maybe never saw before. (She
steps out of the door and closes it behind her. Sound of the
truck's engine starting.)
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: A portion of the Hiring Fair, showing a jeweler's stall
and The Mountain Home Industries' Booth almost stripped
of merchandise.
AT RISE: A jeweler is rearranging the necklaces, bracelets, etc.,
in his stall. Children run talking and laughing across the stage
from left to right. Sounds of horns, whistles, hawking and the
music of a merry-go-round. MRS. McGiNNis limps along hold-
ing on to MRS. KEHOE.
MRS. McGiNNis : I'm that footsore ! Walkin' around in shoes all
day is not what I'm used to.
MRS. KEHOE: It's been a grand day and 'tis surely a pity it's not
just beginning instead of ending. (She points toward a cord
strung across The Mountain Home Industries' Booth to which
one lace collar is pinned.) And what grand luck I have had ! All
my lace sold but the littlest, cheapest piece I
MRS. McGiNNis (Standing first on one foot and then on the
other) : It's been a grand day for them that have young feet.
Now if I could take off my shoes . . . U-u-u— m! (Sound of
small drums and tin horns come nearer.)
614 THE THREE WISHES
MRS. KEHOE (Placing her basket on the counter of The Mountain
Home Industries' Booth, she kneels and begins to untie the laces
of MRS. MC&NNIS'S oxfords) : Why not take off your shoes?
Surely a Fair is a place to enjoy yourself ! And you with your
feet covered with the handsome wool stockings you knit your-
self ! Sure if I had them, I'd take off my shoes, if only to show
them off!
MRS. McGiNNis (Jumping back and pulling her friend to her
feet) : Here comes Col. Moore ! I'll pay my respects to him
standing in my shoes if I fall in my tracks !
COL. MOORE (Entering from right, followed by children carrying
flags and noise-makers. He stops, and they gather about him) :
Children, I came to the Fair to see the grand sights just as you
did. And the grandest thing I see is you girls and boys enjoying
yourselves. It happens to be my birthday. All anyone can say
about me is that I raise thoroughbred horses. But this is St.
Patrick's birthday, also. Who knows how he spent his time ?
MIKE: He chased the snakes out of Ireland! (His face grows
red, and he ducks behind his mother when everyone begins- to
laugh.)
COL. MOORE (Smiling) : Thank you, Mike ! That's what they say
about St. Patrick. Who knows what else he did? (All the chil-
dren look at MAGGIE.)
JILL: Maggie Kehoe got a double A at Friday exercise, yester-
day, for a theme she wrote on St. Patrick !
COL. MOORE (Lifting a wooden stool out of the jeweler's booth,
he places it in the center of the road) : Come, Maggie, mount
this stool and tell us what won you your double A in yester-
day's exercises.
MRS, KEHOE (Shaking her head vigorously at MAGGIE) : Likely
she will forget, Col. Moore ! Likely she has by now forgotten !
TERRY (Nervously fluttering the small American flag he carries) :
She read it off a paper in school yesterday.
JILL: Maggie doesn't have her paper with her, Col. Moore.
Teacher pinned it on the wall because it was the best !
MAGGIE (Smiling up at COL. MOORE) : I remember what I wrote,
at least the most of it.
COL. MOORE: Grand! (He leads MAGGIE to the stool and lifts her
onto it.) We are all your friends, here, Maggie. Look each of
us in the eye and begin.
MAGGIE (Smiling at her mother, she begins counting on her fin-
THE THREE WISHES 61 5
gers. Appearing to make a mistake, she shakes her head and be-
gins counting over again) : About fifteen hundred and seventy-
five years ago, a man-child was baptized Souchet. (She turns,
still smiling, to COL. MOORE) I might be a little wrong about
the years because arithmetic is my hard subject.
MRS. McGiNNis (Anxiously) : The colonel is expectin* you to
speak of St. Patrick, Maggie !
JILL (Tugging at her mother's arm) : Let her begin as she wills,
Mother.
MAGGIE (Smiling serenely, her eyes fixed on COL MOORE) : He
must have been a fine, strong lad because, in Gaul, where they
baptized him, the word souchet meant a little tree. (She turns
to smile at her mother.) When this Souchet was as old as Terry
and myself put together, he was stolen from Gaul and taken to
Ireland. But he didn't grieve for long. He began to love the
Irish. But the more he loved them, the more he was troubled
because the Irish knew nothing about the true and only God.
(She unbuttons her reefer and, pushes back her curls.) Seven
years, he served his masters. When he was free he went out
into the world to learn how he could bring God to the Irish.
That was his job. Three times seven years he worked at it. At
the end of the time, he had parts of the Bible, preachers and
churches in Ireland. The Irish were so very thankful for the
preachers, the churches, the Bible and God that they called
Souchet Peter civicus which is a way of saying he was the
father of the country. Only they shortened his long name to
Patrick.
MRS. McGiNNis (In admiration) : What the child doesn't know
about St Patrick!
MAGGIE: Thank you. (She starts to jump down from the stool,
but stops.) Oh! I almost forgot to say that Patrick lived to be
one hundred and twenty years old, and since he spent all his
time doing good, they made him a saint on earth, after he had
been one in Heaven a very long time.
COL. MOORE (Lifting MAGGIE from the stool, he takes her by the
hand) : I am sure you will all agree that Maggie deserves a
pretty for the grand account of St. Patrick she has given us.
(He leads her to the jeweler's stall) Look the pretties over.
Choose what you will and it is yours, Maggie.
MAGGIE (Smiling up at COL. MOORE without so much as a glance
616 THE THREE WISHES
at the jewelry) : I don't have to look the pretties over, Col.
Moore. I know what I will have.
COL. MOORE (Smiling down at her) : What is it you will have,
Maggie?
MAGGIE (With her eyes still fixed on his face) : I have long be-
lieved I would have a string of coral beads by the time I was ten.
COL. MOORE (To the jeweler) : Coral beads it is! (He takes the
necklace the jeweler hands him and fastens it around MAGGIE s
neck.) There you are and God bless you, Maggie!
MAGGIE (Curtsying prettily) : Thank you, Col. Moore!
MRS. KEHOE: Thank you, Col. Moore. (She fans herself with
her hat.) When will I begin knowing something about my own
children !
COL. MOORE (Peering down the road) : I see the camels are com-
ing. Let's all ride! (He goes offstage followed by all the chil-
dren except the little girls who are gathered around MAGGIE to
look at her corals.)
MRS. KEHOE (Dropping to her kneesf she finishes unlacing MRS.
MC&NNIS'S oxfords) : There! Kick them off and enjoy your-
self for the rest of the day.
MRS. McGiNNis (Pulling off her shoes, she ties the laces together
and hangs them over her arm. She points to the lace collar
pinned to the cord stretched across the Mountain Home Indus-
dustries* Booth) : That collar would look grand on the neck of
my dress.
MRS. KEHOE (Unpinning the collar and laying it around her
friend's throat) : It makes the dress look grand. Have it for
the cost of the thread. You're welcome to the work.
MRS. McGiNNis (Twisting her head to look admiringly at the
collar) : Did the thread cost but a penny, I could not pay for
it. I gave my man my last copper to buy a goat. (She takes the
collar from around her neck and holds it out.)
MRS. KEHOE (Refusing to take the collar): Have it as a gift!
Take it, woman, and welcome !
MRS. McGiNNis: I'll not have so much work as a gift! But I
have something in my basket I got at a drawing I have no use
for! Will you trade — sight unseen?
MRS. KEHOE: I will do no trading for a bit of lace! Have the
collar as a gift or leave it! Shame on me for speaking of the
price of the thread — me that have had such good luck this day
selling more than I dreamed and all !
THE THREE WISHES 617
Mas. McGiNNis: I will leave the collar if you will not agree
Maggie shall have what is in my basket — not counting my shoes
— as a birthday gift It's under the flag.
MRS. KEHOE: Maggie! (The little girls except MAGGIE run off
stage.) Take what you find in Mrs. McGinnis's basket — not
counting the shoes — and be thankful I Look under the flag.
MAGGIE (Lifting out of MRS. McGiNNis's basket, with both
hands, a bowl of goldfish. She speaks softly) : Fairy castle.
Seashells. White sand and green waterweed. Five goldfish . . .
O-o-oh!
THE END
THE SALT IN THE SEA
by Mildred Colbert
Characters
THE MERCHANT, who really is the MIDLER and the PEDDLER
GILES., a poor man
MARGO, his wife
JOAN, his daughter
GODFREY, his son
HUMPHRY, dies' rich brother
Two SERVANTS
CAPTAIN of a ship
ROGER, the mate
sailors.
SCENE 1
TIME: Afternoon, long ago.
SETTING: Humphry's store room.
AT RISE : HUMPHRY, wearing the rich garments of a prosperous
man, strides back and forth impatiently as he calls out the list of
supplies he is counting to a CLERK, a timid old man who keeps
his nearsighted eyes close to the scroll upon which he is writing
with a long quill. After he writes what HUMPHRY dictates, he
repeats the words he has written.
HUMPHRY : Ten bags of meal.
CLERK (Writes on the scroll then repeats) : Ten bags of meal.
HUMPHRY : Six kegs of sprats.
618
THE SALT IN THE SEA 619
CLERK (Repeats as before) : Six kegs of sprats.
HUMPHRY : Eight fine hams.
CLERK (Repeating) : Eight fine hams.
HUMPHRY : Four — (A SERVANT enters.)
SERVANT : Begging your pardon, sir.
HUMPHRY : I do not wish to be interrupted.
SERVANT: Your brother, sir. (Pause.) Your brother, Giles.
HUMPHRY: Well?
SERVANT : He wants to see you, sir.
HUMPHRY : I am busy. I have no time to see him. (He turns to
the CLERK and continues as the SERVANT goes out.) Four casks
of malt. (HUMPHRY strides about angrily; CLERK writes busi-
ly. Before the CLERK repeats what he has written the SERVANT
reenters.)
SERVANT: I crave your pardon, my master, but he will not go
away.
HUMPHRY: Who, dolt?
SERVANT : Your brother, Giles, sir.
HUMPHRY: A plague on him. Show him in. (SERVANT goes out.
GILES wearing a faded cape over wett-worn clothes enters. He
carries in his hand a cap with a long stiff feather in it.)
GILES: I give you a good day, Brother.
HUMPHRY: Never mind the day. What do you want?
GILES: Why act so strange and proud, Humphry? Don't you re-
member —
HUMPHRY : No one helps me.
GILES : Since early morning I have been trying to find work.
HUMPHRY: Well, what has that to do with me?
GILES : There is no work anywhere.
HUMPHRY : I always find plenty to do.
GILES: You do not understand!
HUMPHRY : Oh, yes, I do.
GILES : But I must have work to be able to buy food for my family.
HUMPHRY : I still do not see what that has to do with me.
GILES : We have no food in our house. "Yesterday we ate our last
bit of meal. (GILES seats himself on a chair and buries his head
in his hands.)
HUMPHRY : Ahem, ahem. (Rubs his hands together and coughs
again.) Ahem, well?
620 THE SALT IK THE SEA
GILES (Rouses himself; looks surprisedly at HUMPHRY and goes
to him pleadingly) : Surely with all you have, you could give us
enough to keep us until I get work again. You must help me
Humphry!
HUMPHRY: Help you? Why should I help you? Poor folks are
always wanting things.
GILES : I will pay you back, Humphry. Do you not remember when
your children were small and you had no food, and we div —
HUMPHRY: Enough, enough, I say. (He snatches up a ham and
tosses it to GILES.) Here, take this. Go now, and do not let me
see your face again!
GILES : Thanks, Humphry. (GILES takes the ham and hurries out.)
HUMPHRY (As he walks impatiently about) : Always asking for
things ! Always asking for things ! (He frowns, snaps his fingers
to the CLERK who takes up his quill again hastily and they pro-
ceed.) Let's get on with this. Four casks of —
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
TIME: Later the same day.
SETTING : The stage is arranged for two scenes. Behind the curtain
is the workshop of the DWARFS. One DWARF is sewing on a coat,
AiNOTHER is polishing a golden pitcher, a THIRD is drinking
from a silver cup, SEVERAL OTHERS are busily engaged in mak-
ing various articles. Near the right front of the stage, partly
concealed by a drape, stands an old mill. In front of the curtain
is the forest.
AT RISE : GILES is hurrying home through the forest with the ham
carefully wrapped in his cloak. He meets a man with a sack of
meal on his back going in the opposite direction. The stranger
wears the dusty clothes of a MILLER. GILES doff s his hat pleas-
antly to the stranger.
THE SALT IN THE SEA 621
GILES : I give you good day, stranger.
MILLER: A good day to you. (GILES pauses; the STRANGER puts
down his sack of meal as he continues.) I am a poor miller, a
stranger in this part of the kingdom, good sir, trying to sell
meal. Would you like to buy some?
GILES : I am sorry, miller, but I have no gold to pay you with.
MILLER: You carry a heavy package, friend. Do you have some-
thing to sell, too?
GILES : No, I have a fine ham. See, I will show it to you. (He
unwraps the ham and shows it to the MILLER.) Did you ever
smell a more savory ham? Come close and smell it.
MILLER (Smells the ham) : You are right, my friend. It has a
marvelous smell. What are you going to do with it?
GILES : Eat it, and it please you.
MILLER : I would not eat it if / were you. I know of a place where
you can get almost anything you wish for a ham like that.
GILES: No, really?
MILLER: Truly.
GILES: Where?
MILLER: In the land of dwarfs.
GILES: In the land of dwarfs?
MILLER: Aye, that is the place,
GILES : But / could never get there.
MILLER: Oh, yes, you could.
GILES : If I did get there, could I get back?
MILLER: Just as easily as you got there.
GILES: Do you know how to get there?
MILLER: Aye.
GILES : Would you tell me how to get there and back?
MILLER (Thinks) : Promise me that you will trade the ham for
nothing but the old mill that stands behind the door.
GILES : Oh, but I want gold. They say that the dwarfs have great
chests full of gold.
MILLER : They do have great heaps of gold, but that one old mill
is worth more than all the gold they have.
GILES: Why?
MILLER: Their gold is fairy gold. Once you got it away, you
would find that it was only yellow day.
GILES : What would I do with an old mill?
MILLER: You could sell the mill for real gold. (Walks a few
622 THE SALT IN THE SEA
steps.) I have it. I need another mill, land I will buy it from you.
GILES: What would you give me for the mill?
MILLER (He pulls a small bag of gold jrom his pocket. He takes
out a handful and shows it to GILES) : I will give you this whole
sack of gold for the mill.
GILES (Excitedly) : It is a bargain. Tell me how to get there, and
I will get the mill for you.
MILLER : Very well. Do what I tell you and you will be in the land
of dwarfs.
GILES : Hurry, tell me ; I want to go.
MILLER : Mark well what I say. Walk three steps to the east.
GILES : Walk three steps to the east.
MILLER : Walk three steps to the west.
GILES : Walk three steps to the west.
MILLER : Hop around a magic circle.
GILES : Hop around a magic circle.
MILLER : Spin on your heel.
GILES : Spin on your heel.
MILLER : Now say, "Little friends, let me in."
GILES: Little friends, let me in.
MILLER: Exactly right.
GILES : I know that now, miller. Tell me how to get back again.
MILLER : Do the charm backwards. Spin on your heel ; hop around
a magic circle; walk three steps west; walk three steps east;
then you will be home again.
GILES: I shall remember. Thanks I give you miller. (To himself.)
It is sort of foolishness, but it will not hurt to try. I'll do it and
see what happens. ( GILES begins to repeat the charm. As he
does so the MILLER steals away and just as GILES says, "Little
friends, etc." the curtain parts quietly behind him disclosing the
Dwarfs at work. When GILES turns to speak to the MILLER, he
finds himself in the land of the dwarfs.) Walk three steps to the
east. (He walks three steps east.) Walk three steps west. (He
walks three steps to the west.) Hop around a magic circle. (He
hops around a magic circle.) Spin on my heel. (He spins on his
heel.) What do I say? — Oh, yes, I remember, "Little friends,
let me in." (He turns to speak to the MILLER. The DWARFS
sniff the air avidly.)
DWARFS: Ham! (They sniff, rub their eyes, look at each other in
surprise, and sniff again.) Ham! (They leave their work and
close in on GILES.)
THE SALT IN THE SEA. 623
IST DWARF: Brothers,.! smell ham!
2ND DWARF : That mortal has it.
3RD DWARF : See the bundle he has under his arm.
4TH DWARF (Approaching GILES cautiously) : It is a ham ; is
it not?
GILES: Aye. (Unwraps the ham.) See!
DWARFS (Capering gleefully around GILES chanting) : A ham, a
ham, it is a ham ! A ham, a ham, it is a ham.
IST DWARF (Runs back to his work bench and returns with a coat
he has been making) : Give me the ham and I will give you
this coat.
GILES (While he pretends to examine the cloak carefully, GILES
looks around the room until he locates the mitt.) : It is too small,
and besides, I do not need a cloak. No, you must offer me some-
thing else for the ham.
2ND DWARF (Bringing a golden vase from his work bench) : You
may have this golden vase for the ham.
GILES : I have no use for a golden vase. (Pointing to the old mill)
How about the old mill over there? I need a mill.
2ND DWARF (As he backs away) : Oh, no. We could not trade
that.
SRD DWARF (Approaching GILES with a silver jug and cup) :
Here is a silver jug. It will always be full of nice sweet milk.
GILES (To himself) : I wonder if I should take this jug. My chil-
dren could always have milk if I did.
SRD DWARF (Pouring milk into the cup) : See. It is never empty.
(He pours milk into the cup again.)
GILES (To himself) : I promised the stranger to trade for the mill.
I will keep my promise. (To the DWARF.) No, I do not want
the jug. If I cannot have the mill, I will not trade with you at all.
(He uncovers the ham and smells it. The DWARFS sniff and
draw together as they consult hurriedly.) I shall take it home.
It will make a fine dinner. (He wraps the ham and starts spin-
ning on his heel.)
IST DWARF (He rushes over to the mill and takes it to GILES) :
Here, take it. We must have the ham.
GILES: Fine! Here is the ham.
DWARFS (Singing and dancing about) : It is our ham, our very
own ham! ( GILES wraps the mill in his cloak and starts to spin
on his heel when one of the DWARFS, who has not been dancing
624 THE SALT IN THE SEA
skips over to GILES and catches him by the cloak. GILES stoops
to hear what the DWARF whispers to him. The DWARF skips
back to the other dwarfs and dances. GILES partly uncovers the
mill, looks at it with surprise before he wraps it close in his
cloak again. As the curtain closes, GILES is spinning on his heel,
hopping around the magic circle, etc., on his way home again.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
TIME : Later the same day
SETTING: The kitchen in the house of GILES.
AT RISE : On a bench in front of the bare crudely made table, right
front, sits MARGO with her arms around JOAN. GODFREY sits on
a stool left side, near a Welsh cupboard, right elbow on knee,
head on hand, looking dejectedly at the floor. Their clothes are
faded and worn. JOAN has been crying.
JOAN : Mother, I am hungry. When wfll father come?
MARGO : I do not know,. . . soon, I hope.
JOAN: Wouldn't a bowl of bread and milk taste good, Mother?
MARGO: Hush, child
JOAN : I would like even one little crust of bread.
GODFREY (Raising his head) : Can you not see how hard it is for
Mother when you talk that way? (He rises.) Father should be
back anytime now. Maybe he will bring something for us.
(Pause.) He has been gone such a long time. (He walks towards
the fireplace.)
MARGO : I am afraid he has found no work, or he would be back by
this time.
GODFREY (Turns and listens) : Listen! (A sound is heard, left
door.) There is father. (FATHER enters briskly with something
THE SALT IN THE SEA 625
wrapped carefully in his long cloak. He smiles as he greets
everyone.)
GILES: Greetings, my dear ones, see what I have for you!
JOAN AND GODFREY : Father, what have you? (They rush to GILES
and throw their arms about him. He pauses, waiting for MARCO
to greet him. MARGO looks steadily at him with no sign of wel-
come.)
MARCO (Stands) : Where have you been this long time?
GILES : You could never guess, Margo. I have been to the Land of
Dwarfs.
MARCO : The Land of Dwarfs !
GILES : Aye, see what I have brought back. (He unwraps the mill
and places it on the table. MARCO moves to the table to examine
the mill. The children stand behind the table eagerly examining
the mill.)
MARCO : An old thing ; ready to fall to pieces. What did you get
that for? We have nothing to grind in it
GILES : But, Margo —
MARCO : You foolish man, why did you not bring us something to
eat? Throw it away! (Slie puts her apron before her face and
begins to cry silently.)
GILES : Wait, Margo ; I shall not throw it away. It is a magic
mill. The dwarf told me so. It will give us anything we want.
GODFREY : What do we turn it with? I want to see it work.
JOAN: What is a mill for, Godfrey?
GILES : Wait, children.
MARCO (Seating herself on the stool) : I have waited so long.
(She continues to cry softly. GILES moves the mill from the table
to the wide shelf of the Welsh cupboard. He faces the children.)
GILES : O, Mill, give us food. (A little tinkling tune comes from the
mill; a door in front of the mill flies open and a jug of milkxmd a
fine oat cake slide out upon the shelf. GILES stoops and whispers
to the mill. The door shuts and the tune stops.)
GODFREY (As the door of the mill opens) : Mother, look!
JOAN (A little frightened, runs to MARCO and takes her by the
hand) : Mother! Look, look at the mill! (MARGO continues to
cry in her apron.)
GILES (Takes up the oat cake and goes to MARCO. He shakes her
shoulder gently) : Look, Margo! Did you ever, see a finer oat
cake?
626 THE SALT IN THE SEA
MARGO (Wiping her tears away) : Where did you get that cake?
(She feels the cake.) It's just baked.
GILES: The mill gave it to us. See the jug of milk Godfrey has.
(GODFREY has taken down two mugs and is busily pouring milk
for JOAN and himself.)
MARGO : I can't believe it, Giles. I can't believe it.
GILES: Very well, watch. (He goes to the mill; the children stop
drinking long enough to watch him.) Give us a cheese, O, Mill.
(The little tinkling tune begins as the door flies open and a
cheese slides out of the mill. GILES stoops and whispers to the
mill. The door closes and the tune stops.)
GILES: Come, good wife, let us eat. We have a feast fit for a
king. (As GILES, MARGO, and GODFREY eat, JOAN steals over to
the mill and whispers to it. The door flies open and the tune be-
gins. Those at the table turn and watch her. Out of the mill roll
gaily colored little cakes. JOAN tries to gather them before they
drop on the floor but she soon has more than she can hold.)
JOAN : Stop, you mill ! (The mill keeps on sending out little cakes.)
Stop, oh, please stop ! Father !
GILES (Hastening to the mill to whisper to it) : You must never
do that again, Joan. The mill will not stop unless I say the magic
word to it.
JOAN : What is the magic word?
GILES: Only the owner of the mill can know it. If I told you, it
would not be a magic word any longer. The dwarf whispered it
to me when I got the tyiilj.
MARGO: Truly a strange mill Come, children, let us eat Joan's
little cakes.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
TIME: One week later.
SETTING: The same as Scene tl.
AT RISE: MARGO, richly arrayed, is arranging bright yarns seated
near the table. GILES, also richly dressed, as are JOAN and GOD-
THE SALT IN THE SEA 627
FREY, is sitting by the fireplace smoking a long stemmed pipe.
GODFREY is tying the tail of a kite, and JOAN is sitting on the
stool sewing with a very long thread.
MARGO : No one can say that we are hungry and cold any more,
my good man.
GILES (Nods and smiles) : True, true, good wife.
MARGO : What was the hatter's Anna asking you this afternoon,
Joan?
JOAN : She said she would give me a big red apple if I would tell
her where you got our new kettles.
MARGO: What did you say?
JOAN : I said Father got them for us.
GILES: Good. What did she say then?
JOAN: She crossed herself and said some strange words as she
went away.
GILES : That was right, Joan. I do get the things for you. Don't tdl
how I do it. No one needs to know. The man who told me how
to get to the Land of Dwarfs met me in the wood today. He
wanted to buy the mill from me.
MARGO : O, Giles, you are not going to sell the mill, are you?
GILES : That would be a very foolish thing to do. I told him that
we would not part with the mill. He offered me so much gold
for it that he must have known the secret, too.
MARGO : Your brother was surely surprised at your good fortune
when he came to see you yesterday. Did you tell him where we
got our riches?
GILES : No, and I am not going to tell anyone, not even my own
brother. If our neighbors knew where we got our riches they
might steal the mill. (Pause.) Before Humphry left, I gave him
a ham!
MARGO: Did you? (They laugh.)
GILES : Aye, I gave him a ham. (A knock is heard. GILES opens
the door and the MILLER, disguised as a peddler, comes in with
a pack on his back. He takes off his hat and bows, looking fur-
tively about as he does so.)
PEDDLER: I give you good evening, kind sir, and good evening to
you, mistress.
GILES and MARGO : A good evening to you, stranger.
PEDDLER: Would you like to buy some beautiful silver? (He
628 THE SALT IN THE SEA
reaches into his pack and takes out a silver basket.) Hand
wrought and of the purest metal. What will you trade for it?
GILES : We have nothing that we want to trade.
PEDDLER (Looks around the room) : Mayhap you would like to
exchange yon old mill for something new. I have other things to
barter. (He reaches into his pack and brings out a new mill.)
Here is a nice new mill; I will give it to you for that old mill
yonder. It is much better looking, and, what is more, it will
last longer.
GILES: No, I do not wish to trade the milL A good night to you,
sir. (GILES opens the door. The PEDDLER puts his pack on his
back and hurriedly departs.)
PEDDLER: A good night to you, sir; and a good night to you, fair
lady.
MARGO: Giles, I don't like that man.
GILES : He's all right, Margo. He is just a poor man trying to earn
an honest living.
MARGO: You may be right, but I still do not like the way he looked
around the room. Come, children, time for bed.
GILES : 111 bring in a bundle of faggots to make fire with tomor-
row morning. (MARGO and the children go out right door;
GILES goes out back door for the faggots. The PEDDLER sneaks
back through the left door.)
PEDDLER: This is the mill. He would not trade it I have made no
mistake. (He takes the mill and hurries out the left door. GILES
returns, rear door.)
GILES (Dropping an arm load of faggots by the fireplace) : I shall
put the mill away and bar the door. (He goes toward the mill,
pauses, rubs his eyes, and looks at the place where the mill had
stood.) It is gone t Margo ! It is gone ! Margo ! Margo !
MARGO (Rushing in) :. What can be the matter, Giles?
GILES : Did you take the mill?
MARGO: No, of course not. (She looks to the place where the miU
had stood.) It is gone! Our mill is gone! Joan, Godfrey! Come
here, quickly ! (Enter JOAN and GODFREY, right.)
GILES: Joan, Godfrey, did you take the mill?
JOAK and GODFREY: No, Father.
GILES : It cannot be gone. Look behind the cupboard. Maybe some-
one has hidden it from us. (They look every place.) It is gone.
Someone took the mill while I was getting the faggots.
THE SALT IN THE SEA 629
MARGO : Our mill, our precious mill. (She puts her head down on
the table and sobs. GILES snatches up cap and cloak and rushes
toward the right door.)
GILES : I am going out to find the mill !
GODFREY (Snatches up hat and cloak and follows his father) :
Wait, Father, I am going with you ! ( JOAN falls on her knees by
her mother, puts her head in her mother's lap and weeps as the
curtain closes.)
SCENE 5
TIME : Two days later than Scene IV, late afternoon.
SETTING: Deck of a ship before the captain's quarters.
AT RISE : EVAN and JULES, sail makers, sit on a chest, right back,
mending a sail. GUY, a cabin boy, sits left back, tying ropes.
ROGER, the mate, stands near the rail steadily scanning the shore,
left front. The CAPTAIN of the ship paces back and forth across
the front. The sound of a chanty is heard off stage, before the
curtain rises, continues softly a few moments.
CAPTAIN : Where can that merchant with the salt be? My men are
ready to hoist the sails. Do you see him coming, Roger?
ROGER (Salutes captain) : Nobody comes, sir.
CAPTAIN : He knows that I must get my load and be away before
the turn of the tide. (The CAPTAIN paces back and forth impa-
tiently; ROGER turns to scan the shore again; the SAILORS whis-
per as they work.)
ROGER (Saluting captain) : Sir, I saw a small boat putting out
from the shore.
CAPTAIN : Look well, mate ; make sure who it is. It is about time
he comes, the lubber. (He paces across the deck.) He promised
me to have the salt here by midday, and it is almost sunset now.
ROGER (Saluting) : He is coming, sir, the merchant.
630 THE SALT IN THE SEA
CAPTAIN: Stand by, men, to cast off! (Several SAILORS enter
right. ROGER exits left.)
MERCHANT (Off stage left) : Ship ahoy!
ROGER (Of stage) : Ahoy! (Enter left.) The merchant is below,
sir.
CAPTAIN: Help him up the ladder. (Exit ROGER and JULES, left.
CAPTAIN speaks to the men.) Man the capstan to heave the an-
chor ! (Exit right all sailors except EVAN and GUY. Enter ROGER
with JULES carrying the mill, right. The MERCHANT, who was
the MILLER and the PEDDLER, rushes in ahead of ROGER ex-
citedly.)
MERCHANT: Cast off 1 Cast off, Captain!
CAPTAIN: Where is the salt? We cannot sail without ballast
MERCHANT : I have the salt.
CAPTAIN: Where?
MERCHANT (Rushing over to JULES who holds the mill and un-
wrapping it) : Here, in the null ! All the salt we want.
CAPTAIN: Are you a wizard that salt should come from a mill?
Stop this foolishness, man. Where is the salt?
MERCHANT: In this mill, I say. This old mill will quickly nil your
ship with fine, white salt. Cast off, Captain, cast off ! They may
miss the mill and come after me. I travelled a night and a day
to get here. We must get away quickly.
CAPTAIN : Heave the anchor, men. (CAPTAIN, ROGER and SAILORS
go off right and left. The anchor chanty is heard off stage.)
MERCHANT (To JULES holding the mill) : Take the mill down to
the hold, and I shall come and start it. (Exit JULES right with
the mill. MERCHANT follows.)
EVAN : Did you see the rats leaving the ship just before mid-day?
GUY: No, did you, Evan?
EVAN : Aye, I did, Guy. It is a bad sign, my friend, when rats
leave a ship. If I had not given my word to the captain to go
with him on this trip I would take my bag and go right now.
It is not seemly, my lad, that one little mill should fill a big ship
with salt. (The tinkling tune of the mill is heard off stage.)
GUY: Whence comes that strange tune, Evan? Hist, here comes
the captain.
CAPTAIN (Enters from right talking to himself) : It is a magic
mill; as soon as he said, "Give me salt, O, Mill," the salt began
to pour out. We should have a full load in no time. (He rubs his
THE SALT IN THE SEA 631
hands together as he paces back and forth. He looks left.) Ah,
we are beyond the headlands now; no one can catch us. (Enter
MERCHANT smiling. Sound of mill continues. It does so to the
end but is very faint after it is submerged in the sea.)
MERCHANT : The mill is grinding out salt so fast that the men have
trouble keeping sacks ready to store it in.
CAPTAIN: Fine, friend, fine.
MERCHANT: I had much trouble getting that mill. The dwarfs
knew me; but luckily I found a poor man who got it for me. In
some way he learned the secret of the mill, and he would not sell
the mill to me.
CAPTAIN : How did you get it then?
MERCHANT : I disguised myself as a peddler and located the mill,
then I watched my chance and stole it (Both laugh.) Now we
shall be rich, Captain; we shall be rich.
CAPTAIN : You are a clever fellow, my friend. Sit down and let us
drink a mug of ale together. Boy, (To Guy) bring a jug of ale
and two mugs. (Exit GUY into captain's quarters.)
ROGER (Enters hurriedly from right) : Your pardon, sir. Every
hold is full of salt. Our ship cannot carry more, sir. (The MER-
CHANT hurries out.)
CAPTAIN : Make it strong, Evan ; we shall need all our sails before
we finish this trip. (Reenter GUY with the ale. He pours a drink
for the CAPTAIN; CAPTAIN drinks.) Pour one for the merchant
— a fine fellow, the merchant. (GuY pours a drink and sets the
jug and mug down on the sea chest.)
MERCHANT (Entering from the right excitedly) : Captain, oh,
Captain, what shall we do?
CAPTAIN : About what, my good man, about what?
MERCHANT (Wringing his hands) : About the mill. It will not
stop grinding salt !
CAPTAIN: Why?
MERCHANT : I do not know the magic word to stop the mill.
CAPTAIN: Blockhead! Why didn't you get the word?
MERCHANT : You can't steal a word. I thought I could guess what
it was. I couldn't. The mill still grinds.
JULES (Runs in from the left) : Salt pours out on the deck. (To
the CAPTAIN.) Come, help us, sir.
CAPTAIN (To MERCHANT) : Simpleton! Am I to lose my ship be-
cause you cannot think of one word?
632 THE SALT IN THE SEA
MERCHANT : I am trying to find it. (He snaps his fingers hope-
lessly as he walks about muttering to himself.)
CAPTAIN (To JULES) : Heave the salt overboard. I follow you!
(JULES leaves, right, followed by the CAPTAIN and ROGER.)
GUY (To EVAN) : Had we better take the small boat and try for
land, Evan?
EVAN : Not yet; we will wait for the captain.
MERCHANT (To himself) : I was so long getting the mill, and now
that I have it, I cannot stop it. All my salt is being spoiled.
The magic word, I will try again. Stop! Quit! Do not grind.
That is enough ! Cease ! No, no, these will not do 1 I have tried
them all. (The sound of the mill has suddenly become very faint;
the CAPTAIN enters left.)
CAPTAIN : Come, quickly. (EVAN and GUY drop their work and
start toward the CAPTAIN.) We leave the ship.
MERCHANT (Desperately) : Wait, I may yet find the word !
CAPTAIN : Too late now. We threw the mill overboard. All is lost.
MERCHANT (With a sob) : Not my mill?
CAPTAIN : Go, men, help man the small boats. (Exit men.)
ROGER (Entering) : The ship is lost. The water washes over the
deck!
CAPTAIN : There is too much salt ! To the boats ! (They rush off as
the curtain falls.)
THE END
CINDERELLA
by Alice D'Arcy
Characters
FIRST SISTER.
SECOND SISTER.
CINDERELLA.
FAIRY GODMOTHER.
PRINCE.
TRUMPETERS (2).
ATTENDANTS (6).
DANCERS. (Optional — using the Two Sisters, Prince, Cinderella,
and six attendants with four more female characters would suf-
fice, but if stage permits, the more dancers the larger effect will
be produced by ballroom scene.)
SCENE 1
SETTING: By the fireplace.
AT RISE : CINDERELLA, ragged and with a smudge of soot on her
face, is sweeping in front of the fireplace. 'She places broom in
corner and sits on box gazing into fire.
CINDERELLA: Tonight is the night. (Sighs and cups head in her
hands.) If only I were going to the ball. (Enter SISTERS in new
gowns. FIRST SISTER holds piece of lace in hand; SECOND
SISTER a piece of ribbon.)
FIRST SISTER: Will you look at the little goose! (Snickers.) Ella
sit by the cinders. Have you nothing else to do?
SECOND SISTER : Why, my dear sister, of course she has nothing
else to do — (Clips words) she is too stupid!
CINDERELLA (Rising) : How lovely your gowns are ! If only I —
FIRST SISTER : Come now — stop talking idle words —
SECOND SISTER: Help us dress. Here. (Hands her ribbon.) Tie
this on my neck — not there, you simpleton!
CINDERELLA: Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking —
633
634 CINDERELLA
SECOND SISTER: We'll do the thinking around here. (Shoves
CINDERELLA.) I'll fix my own ribbon. Go help your sister pin
that ruffle on her sleeve.
CINDERELLA (Perplexed) : Ruffle on her sleeve? Why I didn't
know —
FIRST SISTER (Haughtily) : Of course you didn't know. How
would you know anything about the latest fashions? (GENDER-
ELLA hastily adjusts ruffle while other sister ties bow.)
CINDERELLA: My, how beautiful you look! What lovely gowns!
(Sisters parade back and forth smoothing folds, admiring selves,
etc.)
SECOND SISTER : Well, Sister, I think we might as well be off.
FIRST SISTER: Yes, we must not be kte, for who knows — the
Prince may choose one of us as his dancing partner for the
evening. (Claps hands.) Gnderella! Our capes. (CINDERELLA
takes capes from chair and places them on shoulders of sisters.)
SECOND SISTER: What an honor to be chosen the Prince's part-
ner! (Sisters start off stage. CINDERELLA follows quickly tug-
ging at skirt of SECOND SISTER.)
CINDERELLA: Please wait! May I not go too?
FIRST SISTER (Laughs harshly) : And what, may I ask, would
you wear?
SECOND SISTER (Angrily) : Do you want to disgrace us?
CINDERELLA (Pleadingly) : No one would have to know I am
your sister, and there is a whole trunkful of old gowns in the
attic. I am sure I could find something among them.
SECOND SISTER: Such nonsense! Why you are only plain Cinder-
ella. Come, Sister. (They flounce off stage.)
CINDERELLA: Oh, dear — oh, dear. (Begins to sob.) Why must I
be so plain? (Covers face in hands, walks over to box by fire-
place and sits down, continues sobbing.) If only I could go to
one ball ! (CINDERELLA gazes into fire as FAIRY GODMOTHER en-
ters softly.)
FAIRY GODMOTHER (With cracking voice) : Well, my poor little
child!
CINDERELLA (Looks up startled) : You frightened me. I don't re-
member ever seeing you before.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: But I have seen you many times. I am your
Fairy Godmother.
CINDERELLA: Fairy Godmother! How wonderful!
CINDERELLA 635
FAIRY GODMOTHER: I have never come to you before, but tonight
you need me.
CINDERELLA (Rising quickly) : You mean you will stay with me
so that I won't be lonely?
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You sweet child, I will do more than that
for you. I will see that you get to the ball.
CINDERELLA : But how did you know I longed —
FAIRY GODMOTHER : Fairies know everything. But hurry now. We
have no time to lose.
CINDERELLA (Excitedly) : Just tell me what you want me to do.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Have you a pumpkin?
CINDERELLA : Why, yes, right here in the cupboard. (Starts toward
cupboard, but turns back.) Oh, I forgot My sisters wish me to
make a pumpkin pie for dinner tomorrow night.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Bring it here. I shall return it. (CINDERELLA
gives pumpkin to FAIRY GODMOTHER.) Thank you. Now four
white mice. (CINDERELLA walks to side of fireplace and picks
up cage through which can be seen four toy mice.) The pump-
kin I shall change into a splendid carriage to carry you to the
ball; the mice into handsome horses. No one at die ball shall
arrive in greater splendor I
CINDERELLA : Oh, how kind you are, dear Fairy Godmother. (Sud-
denly gasps and raises hand to lips.) Oh-h-h, I cannot go to the
ball after all.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: And why, pray tell me?
CINDERELLA : I have nothing but my sisters' old gowns from which
to choose. Not one of them could be worn in such a beautiful
carriage.
FAIRY GODMOTHER : A lovely gown you shall wear — all shimmer-
ing white and silver, and a silver covering for your hair.
CINDERELLA: But how?
FAIRY GODMOTHER : I shall use my magic spell, and you will turn
into the loveliest creature on earth. But you must promise me
one thing.
CINDERELLA : Anything, Fairy Godmother — anything.
FAIRY GODMOTHER: You must leave the ball before the stroke of
twelve — or you will become Cinderella again, your coach will
become a pumpkin, and your grand horses nothing more than
the mice I now hold.
CINDERELLA (Eagerly) : Before the stroke of twelve. I'll remem-
ber, 111 surely remember!
636 CINDERELLA
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Very well, then. Now hold this pumpkin so
that I may have one hand free. (CINDERELLA takes pumpkin.)
My spell I cast over you — (Curtain slowly falls.)
Kala wala woo,
My spell over you
One is for the carriage
With horses so fine —
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: The hall.
AT RISE : Music is heard and a dance is fust ending. When the
music stops, the guests stand about in groups, and await the
arrival of the PRINCE. In the center of the stage and to the rear
stands the royal throne in all its splendor. Before it, a few of
the guests move to and fro, conversing. Standing near the front
of the stage are CINDERELLA'S sisters. They are glancing through
the gathering.
FIRST SISTER (In audible whisper) : I see no one among the la-
dies in finer fashion than we.
SECOND SISTER : I am sure that one of us must be chosen as the
Prince's dancing partner.
GENTLEMAN (Heard above the others) : Where can his Royal
Highness be? I do hope he does not disappoint us.
SECOND GENTLEMAN : Have no fear. The Prince is ever thought-
ful. (Trumpet sound is heard in distance; gradually becomes
louder.)
FIRST SISTER: The Prince must be on his way here now. (Enter
TRUMPETERS, cross to middle of stage, march to rear of stage
and take places on either side of throne. Enter four ATTENDANTS
CINDERELLA 637
before PRINCE, two following. PRINCE ascends throne and AT-
TENDANTS take places on either side.)
SECOND SISTER : Isn't he handsome? (As PRINCE reaches throne,
he turns and faces court in regal manner. They pay homage to
him and he is seated.)
PRINCE (With dignified wave of hand) : Let the dancing con-
tinue. As is the custom of the realm, I shall select a dancing
partner from among the fairest of this fair land. (Music starts
and the dancing begins. But a few bars are played when the
PRINCE arises quickly from the throne.) Stop! Stop, I say.
(Music ceases. PRINCE claps hands in command.) Page ! Quick-
ly bring me that lovely maiden I behold standing in the outer
court. Be quick, be quick, I say, else she may slip away. (PRINCE
is seated resting elbow on knee and chin in hand while other
hand drums on arm of throne impatiently. The guests show
their surprise by whispered conversation among them. The PAGE
slips out to obey command and in a brief moment returns alone.)
PAGE: The beautiful lady begs Your Highness to continue with
the ball. She desires no more than to stand on the threshold
and watch.
PRINCE: An humble maiden, I would say! I did not know that
such existed in my land — and as beautiful as she is modest!
(Rises from throne.)
GENTLEMAN: Do you wish me to fetch her, Your Majesty?
PRINCE: Your thoughtfulness is most commendable, but I shall
escort her to the ballroom myself. (As PRINCE leaves ballroom
several dancers crowd to entrance to watch proceeding, but
quickly disperse as PRINCE and CINDERELLA return. Exclama-
tions at CINDERELLA'S beauty can be heard.)
LADY: What a gorgeous gown!
GENTLEMAN: The loveliest lady here! No wonder the Prince
waited!
FIRST SISTER (Vexed) : Where do you suppose she came from?
Someone would spoil our chances !
SECOND SISTER: Such luck! Probably from a neighboring king-
dom. We'll soon know.
PRINCE (Waives hand) : Let us be gay — return to your dancing!
(Music starts and dancing continues with other guests paying
more attention to PRINCE and CINDERELLA than to dancing.
After several minutes a gong strikes twelve and CINDERELLA,
suddenly remembering GODMOTHER'S warning, hastily leaves
room.)
638 CINDERELLA
PRINCE (Music ceases) : After her — do not let her get away !
Why, I do not even know the lovely creature's name. (Several
court attendants follow CINDERELLA but quickly return.)
FIRST ATTENDANT: She is nowhere in sight.
SECOND : She is as swift as the deer.
THIRD (Producing glass slipper) : Your Highness, as she fled she
lost this glass slipper — I thought perhaps —
PRINCE (Taking slipper in hand) : A glass slipper! What a dain-
ty foot she must have ! Tomorrow, I will search the entire realm
for the maiden who can wear this slipper, and to her I shall
offer my heart, hand and kingdom!
TRUMPETERS (Step to front of stage and after three blasts on
trumpets announce) : Hear ye! Hear ye! His Royal Highness
has proclaimed, and let it be known to all in this land —
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENES
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE : CINDERELLA is busily sweeping in front of the fireplace.
FIRST SISTER is hobbling about room in shoes which are entire-
ly too small; SECOND SISTER is seated on chair with feet wrapped
in cloth.
FIRST SISTER (Standing on one foot and hopping) : Oh-h-h ! I
can't bear it — the pain is too great! (Kicks shoes off and sits
down on chair stretching feet and wiggling toes.)
SECOND SISTER (Crossly) : Anyone would know that you cannot
make your feet smaller by forcing them in shoes two sizes too
FIRST SISTER (Snapping words) : Why, the idea! They are not
small — well, maybe just a little bit Anyway, who told you
that feet could be reduced by binding them? It seems to me —
CINDERELLA 639
SECOND SISTER (Removing cloth from feet) : I suppose we havfe
both been rather foolish. I don't see where anything will do
much good now.
CINDERELLA (Stops sweeping and rests hands on broom) : Dear
sisters, why should you wish to fnake your feet smaller all of a
sudden? Have they not served you well all these years?
SECOND SISTER: Don't you ever know what is going on in this
world?
FIRST SISTER (Wearily and with wave of hand) : Tell her, tell
her. At least it will make conversation until he gets here.
SECOND SISTER : Last night at the ball — (Stops suddenly and ap-
pears to be perplexed) — that's strange!
FIRST SISTER: What is strange? What are you talking about? .
SECOND SISTER: Cinderella, now that I think of it, you have asked
no questions about the ball. How did that happen?
CINDERELLA (Begins to sweep again and answers guardedly) :
I — I — was waiting for you to mention it.
FIRST SISTER : If that isn't just like the stupid goose ! (Rises, still
in stocking feet, and goes to doorway as if searching for
someone.)
SECOND SISTER: Anyway the Prince, after keeping everyone in
suspense for hours, chose as his partner a beautiful lady —
FIRST SISTER (Glancing back from doorway and interrupting) :
From a neighboring kingdom —
CINDERELLA: What makes you say she was from a neighboring
kingdom?
SECOND SISTER : I will not finish my story if you two are going to
persist in your interruptions.
CINDERELLA:- Oh, please — please go on —
SECOND SISTER : To make it short, his dancing partner left the ball
unexpectedly, and as she was running — heaven knows why!
— she lost one of her glass slippers. It was a very small one —
CINDERELLA (Excitedly) : Then the Prince must have found the
slipper!
FIRST SISTER (Hurriedly returning from window) : He is here!
His Majesty just turned around the bend!
SECOND SISTER: Mercy me — so soon!
CINDERELLA : You mean thfe Prince is coming her e to our humble
dwelling?
FIRST SISTER: Of course. He is visiting every house in the land to
find the owner of the glass slipper.
640 CINDERELLA
SECOND SISTER: And to offer her his hand in marriage!
CINDERELLA (Bewildered): Oh-h-h-h!
FIRST SISTER: Well, don't stand there acting the simpleton that
you are. Help us tidy this room. Oh, goodness, why didn't we
change our gowns?
SECOND SISTER: I told you we should not have stayed so late.
(Both sisters begin to run about frantically straightening furni-
ture, etc.)
CINDERELLA : I think I heard a knock on the door. Shall I answer
it?
SECOND SISTER: Of course, and then leave the room. What could
the Prince possibly want of you?
FIRST SISTER: No! Allow her to stay — the contrast will be all
in our favor. (CINDERELLA opens door and PRINCE and AT-
TENDANT enter.)
ATTENDANT : His Majesty begs that you forgive his intrusion, but
he is most desirous of finding the owner of this glass slipper.
(Holds slipper in front of him.)
FIRST SISTER: It is a great pleasure to entertain His Royal High-
ness. (Both sisters bow before PRINCE. CINDERELLA finds her
place in the corner by the fireplace.)
ATTENDANT (To SECOND SISTER) : May I fit your foot?
SECOND SISTER: By all means. (Giggles while slipper is being
fitted.) I'm certain it will go on! (Tries to force the slipper on
her foot.)
PRINCE: You are mistaken. It will not fit. (SECOND SISTER looks
very much disappointed as FIRST SISTER brushes past her and
extends her foot for fitting.)
PRINCE (Nodding head sadly) : I have searched everywhere, but
in vain. (Looks about room and discovers CINDERELLA.) What
ho ! Who is this creature who sits by the fire?
CINDERELLA (Rises and bows before the PRINCE) : Please, Your
Majesty, I am only Cinderella.
PRINCE: Only Cinderella — but I would still have you try the
slipper.
CINDERELLA: If it pleases His Royal Highness. (ATTENDANT
steps forward, but PRINCE takes slipper from him.)
PRINCE: It will be my pleasure this time. (FIRST SISTER nudges
SECOND SISTER; when CINDERELLA easily slips foot into slip-
per, sisters look at each other in surprise.)
CINDERELLA 641
PRINCE (Joyfully) : At last, I have come to the end of my quest !
(Off stage is heard the voice of the FAIRY GODMOTHER.)
FAIRY GODMOTHER: Cinderella! Cinderella!
CINDERELLA (Distressed, leaves) : Forgive me, Prince, but some-
one to whom I owe a great deal is calling.
FIRST SISTER : Can you imagine ! Such rudeness !
SECOND SISTER: What can you expect?
PRINCE : I am certain Cinderella had a very good reason for her
actions. Let us not judge her before she returns.
SECOND SISTER: As His Royal Highness wishes.
PRINCE (In jubilant manner to ATTENDANT) : Prepare the best
coach at the pakce! Order the most excellent food. Have the
servants in their finest array I For today is the day I shall take
home with me £ bride — one who will be the sweetest princess
ever known.
FIRST SISTER : But surely His Majesty is joking !
PRINCE (Angrily) : And why should I be joking?
FIRST SISTER: You can not mean Cinderella!
PRINCE (Striding across stage) : Most certainly I do — and who
are you to question?
SECOND SISTER (Alarmed) : Please forgive my sister for her
thoughts. You cannot blame her entirely. After all, Cinderella
is nothing but a little drudge. Why, His Majesty has but to
look at her clothes —
PRINCE: Enough! Enough, I say. What care I for her appear-
ance? She is kind and thoughtful. (PRINCE stops speaking
abruptly as if suddenly realising something, and then seizes AT-
TENDANT by arm) You think Cinderella will accept me? It is
true I have everything to offer her, but maybe she will prefer
the simple life.
FIRST SISTER: She would be a bigger goose than I thought —
PRINCE: Hush! I will have no more of such talk!
FIRST SISTER (Claps hand aver mouth) : I didn't mean anything
against dear Cinderella. We love her, do we not, my sister?
SECOND SISTER : Most certainly we do !
PRINCE : Why did you not allow her to attend the ball with you
last evening?
SECOND SISTER (Wiping eyes with handkerchief) : B-b-believe
me, most gracious Prince, she was ashamed of us/ her very own
sisters*
642 CINDERELLA
FIRST SISTER: She absolutely refused to go with us.
PRINCE : You mean she did not attend the ball then?
FIRST SISTER: Oh, no!
SECOND SISTER: Indeed not!
PRINCE (Disturbed, walks up and down stage for a few minutes) :
That's strange — most incredibly strange! The slipper fits her
as if it were made for her.
ATTENDANT: Anything I can do for His Royal Highness?
PRINCE : Yes — yes, there is. Bring the girl to me. (ATTENDANT
goes to door right; PRINCE sits down.) I cannot believe Cinder-
ella is anything but the sweet, lovely maiden I picture her.
(Shakes head.)
FIRST SISTER : That is only because you do not know her as we do.
SECOND SISTER: Why, if you only knew —
ATTENDANT (Returns to place before PRINCE) : Cinderella ap-
proaches, Oh Prince! (CINDERELLA enters. She is dressed in
same gown she wore at the ball. PRINCE rises and drops to knee
at her feet.)
PRINCE (Joyfully) : How right I was ! Cinderella, will you return
to my castle to take your place at my side on the royal throne?
Everything I have is yours, and I offer you my heart forever.
CINDERELLA (Clasping hands) : Oh, my Prince Charming! Gladly
will I go with you. Even my loveliest dreams were never as beau-
tiful as this. (PRINCE rises and takes CINDERELLA'S hand. Sis-
ters look at each other and begin to rush around to pack things.)
FIRST SISTER: It won't take a minute for us to get ready, Your
Majesty.
PRINCE: And where are you going?
SECOND SISTER: Why, with dear Cinderella, of course.
PRINCE : Oh, no you're not. I do know though that Cinderella is so
kind and forgiving that she will want you to visit her once in a
while. That you may do.
CINDERELLA: You are so kind!
PRINCE (To ATTENDANT) : Lead the way. I cannot wait to spread
the good news over the land ! My Cinderella! (PRINCE and CIN-
DERELLA start to leave as curtain falls.)
THE END
THE FLOATING STONE
by C. W. Foulk and Doris P. Buck
Characters
FIRST COURT LADY
SECOND COURT LADY
THIRD COURT LADY
THE PRINCESS
THE SHEPHERD
THE KING
THE HERALD
THE PRINCE OF ARNA
THE ROYAL WIZARD
THE PRINCE OF TRIPOTA
SCENE 1
SETTING: A King's court.
AT RISE: Two COURT LADIES are deep in gossip.
FIRST LADY : I must say I'm enjoying my visit at your court, but
there's one thing I can't understand.
SECOND LADY: What is that?
FIRST LADY: Your Princess is beautiful, so kind, so sweet —
SECOND LADY : She is, indeed.
FIRST LADY : Why doesn't some prince marry her ?
SECOND LADY (Putting her fingers on her lips): Hush! (The
LADIES draw close to each other.)
FIRST LADY (Whispering) : What's the matter?
SECOND LADY: The King won't hear of it. Don't say marry! He
won't let the word be spoken.
FIRST LADY: Why?
SECOND LADY : He must want to keep her all to himself. He's so-
rude to visiting princes that they go home.
FIRST LADY : Poor Princess, what does she do ?
SECOND LADY : I don't believe she minds.
643
644 THE FLOATING STONE
FIRST LADY: Indeed 1
SECOND LADY : You see, she's in love with a shepherd, and though
he never can hope to win her, at least she doesn't have to marry
anyone else. (The THIRD COURT LADY enters.)
THIRD LADY: Have you heard the news?
SECOND LADY: What news?
THIRD LADY: You haven't heard yet! Why, everyone in court is
laughing about it I
FIRST AND SECOND LADIES : Tell us.
THIRD LADY: The King, the King (She giggles.)
FIRST AND SECOND LADIES : What is it?
THIRD LADY : He says the Princess can be married.
FIRST LADY: When?
SECOND LADY (Almost at the same time) : To whom?
THIRD LADY : To the man who can make a stone float in the air !
FIRST LADY (Slowly) : Make a stone float in the air 1
THIRD LADY : That's his way of keeping the Princess by his side
forever.
FIRST LADY: Poor Princess, she'll die an old maid. (The LADIES
go out.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE : The PRINCESS and the SHEPHERD enter from the right.
PRINCESS : Now there is some hope.
SHEPHERD: Is there? I'd do anything in the world to win you,
but no man can make a stone float in the air.
PRINCESS: Are you sure?
SHEPHERD: Perhaps if I studied magic for years and years, I
could learn.
THE FLOATING STONE 645
PRINCESS: Magic! (Scornfully) Hocus pocus! Father used to
keep a magician at court till we found how he did his tricks.
SHEPHERD : Then how can I ever make that stone float in the air?
PRINCESS (Taking a paper from a little bag she carries) : Here is
a paper my f ather gave me. He said it would help.
SHEPHERD (Eagerly) : Let me see. Why, I can't even read it!
PRINCESS (Over his shoulder) : It looks like writing only it isn't.
SHEPHERD: We're no better dff than we were before.
PRINCESS: Oh, why did my father do this to me?
SHEPHERD: Your father loves you, Princess. This must have a
meaning and I shall find out what it is.
PRINCESS : It looks like writing done the wrong way round —
SHEPHERD : As if you saw it in a mirror . . . mirror I've heard
of mirror writing. Maybe this is it. Let's look at it in a glass.
PRINCESS: Here is one. (She produces a mirror from her bag.)
SHEPHERD (Holding the paper in front of the glass) : Look. The
King's message. "Try Science." What's Science?
PRINCESS (Speaking at the same time) : Who's Science?
SHEPHERD (Unfolding the paper) : There's more. (Reads) ..
"He who by Science would be led
Must learn to look inside his head."
PRINCESS: What does that mean?
SHEPHERD: I don't know, but I'm going to find out and win your
hand. (They go out together.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE: The KING and all his court enter. The KING and the
PRINCESS sit on thrones.
KING: Daughter, this is the day when young men may ask for
your hand. All they have to do is to make a stone — a very
646 THE FLOATING STONE
small stone — float in the air. I am certain that anyone who
really loves you should have no difficulty at all.
PRINCESS (Softly) : If only my shepherd comes in time !
HERALD: A stranger is at the gate, Your Highness,
KING: Announce him,
HERALD: His Royal Highness, the Prince of Arna. (With a
flourish the HERALD steps aside and the PRINCE enters with the
ROYAL WIZARD.)
KING (Advancing to meet him) : Welcome, Your Royal Highness.
Have you come to ask for my daughter's hand?
PRINCE OF ARNA: I have. I have learned from the stars that she
is to be my wife. The Royal Wizard has told me.
KING: Indeed.
FRINGE OF ARNA (Nudging the WIZARD with his foot) : Speak up.
You did say so, didn't you?
WIZARD : It is so .written in the stars.
KING (Very solemnly) : Bring in the stone. (The HERALD goes
out, and returns with the stone* which he carries on a small table
covered with silver cloth. He deposits it with the utmost cere-
mony in front of the thrones.)
WIZARD (Advancing to the table) :
Dark stars and bright stars,
Red stars and white stars.
KING: The Prince has to do it himself.
PRINCE OF ARNA : I'm not sure I remember all the words in the
spelt Some of them were quite long.
PRINCESS (Eagerly) : Perhaps you'd rather not try, Prince.
SECOND LADY: Poor girl, she's still hoping her shepherd will
win her.
PRINCE OF ARNA :
Red stars and white stars,
Something, something and bright stars.
(As the PRINCE is speaking, he lifts the silver cloth. The LADIES
titter as he gets mixed up. PRINCE looks closely at stone.) I
think it moved a little.
PRINCESS (Positively) : I'm sure it didn't. It didn't move the
tiniest bit I was watching.
PRINCE OF ARNA (To the WizARD) : You wretch. You've been
fooling me. This Princess doesn't want to marry me. You and
your stars! I'll make you pay for this! (Exit, pushing the
WIZARD in front of him.)
THE FLOATING STONE
647
PRINCESS (Covering the stone again) : Oh father, how glad I am
I didn't have to marry such a silly prince! I hope my shepherd
comes in time.
HERALD: Another man is at the gate, Your Highness.
KING: Announce him.
HERALD: The Prince of Tripota. (The PRINCE enters, self -im-
portant and rather fussy.)
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA : I have come to move mountains to win the
lady. (He bows with a great flourish to the PRINCESS.)
KING: Oh, no, not mountains, just a very small stone. I don't
even ask to have it float in the air a long while, half a minute
will be enough.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA: Most beautiful lady, I have studied magic
since I was a child. I can make dewdrops into diamonds.
KING: I'd like to see some of those diamonds.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA: Unfortunately I left them all in my own
country. But everyone there says I am a very great magician.
They have said it since I was a little boy. Show me the stone
and I shall make it float.
PRINCESS (Lifting the cloth) : It is on the table, Your Highness.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA: That tiny thing — a trifle. Watch me keep
it in the air.
PRINCESS (Aside) : Oh, I hope not.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA (Making gestures) : Vir Luro Arcadeyevna.
Abacadabra. (He drops his handkerchief over the pebble.)
When I lift this handkerchief, the stone will rise into the air.
(He putts the handkerchief away, and his face falls.)
FIRST LADY : It's still on the table.
SECOND LADY: I knew it would be.
THIRD LADY : And he thought he was a magician.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA : But they all told me I was a great magician,
ever since I was a little, little boy — and that stone hasn't moved
at all.
KING: It doesn't pay to believe everything that's told you. Good-
bye, Prince.
PRINCE OF TRIPOTA: If I can't do it, nobody can. (The PRINCE
goes out.)
PRINCESS : Poor fellow, he really believed the stories he told about
himself. (She replaces the stiver cloth.)
KING: Neither of these foolish Princes has won you. I'm glad,
648 THE FLOATING STONE
for I'd hate to have you marry a fool. You'll be much better
off with me.
PRINCESS : I had hoped that someone else would come.
FIRST LADY : It's very late.
KING: Take the stone away.
PRINCESS: Father, let us wait a little while longer. (She hangs
on his arm, pleading.)
KING: As you wish, child, but the sun is down now. No one is
likely to come.
HERALD: A man is at the gate, Your Highness.
KING : Announce him.
HERALD : I can't. He hasn't any title. He's just a shepherd.
SHEPHERD (Bursting in) : I can do it! I can do it! I've just seen
how. Where's the stone?
KING: Don't be too sure, shepherd. Two Princes thought they
could make that stone float, but failed.
SHEPHERD: Let me try, Your Majesty. You said that anyone
who made the stone float would win the Princess.
KING: There lies the stone. (The PRINCESS uncovers it.)
THIRD LADY: Where did a shepherd learn magic spells?
SHEPHERD: This is not magic, Your Ladyship. It is Science.
THIRD LADY: Science! What's Science? Where do you find it?
SHEPHERD (Smiling at the King, who smiles back) : He who by
Science would be led, Must learn to look inside his head.
KING: Did you?
SHEPHERD: Yes, Your Majesty. Watch. (He takes a mortar and
pestle which he has brought in a bundle tied to his crook, and
grinds the pebble.)
FIRST LADY: He's grinding up the stone. Its quite fine powder
now.
SHEPHERD: Of course. Powder can stay up in the air half a
minute, can't it? Look, Your Majesty, the stone is ready to
float. (He pours the dust into his hand, holds his hand in front
of his lips, and blows the dust into the air.)
KING: Take my daughter, shepherd. (He joins their hands.) I
kept her only till I was sure she married a man who could use
his brain.
THE END
JACK AND JILL
By Helen L. Freudenberger
Characters
JACK, small boy of about eleven. Dressed in play suit with large
tie.
JILL, slightly smaller them JACK. Dressed in print dress and large
white apron, which she takes off to play in.
MOTHER, taller girl, dressed in long, full skirt and apron. Made up
severely. May wear wig or dust cap if desired.
FAIRY, graceful, slender girl who can do a simple dance. Wears
the traditional fairy costume with wings, etc. White dress.
ELVES, three small boys of about the same height and who march
together in simple design.
TIME : The morning of the eventful tumble.
SETTING : A door-yard before a rather larg& plain brown cottage
painted on the background. A door and window in the house
actually open off stage. Flowers made of crepe paper or real
potted plants are set in beds along the house to give a cheery
home-like atmosphere. A walk of flat stones leads from the
door to the right of the stage and off right. A carpet of green
paper matting may be used to gvve the appearance of grass.
AT RISE: JACK and JILL are playing, making mud pies, near the
walk.
JACK : Here, Jill, let me da that stirring. You'll get mud on your
nice clean dress.
JILL : No, I won't get it on me, Jack. Besides, I'm not as messy
as you are; and if you get mud on yourself, Mother will scold
you something awful.
JACK : Not any worse than she would you. Isn't this a nice mud
pie? Anyway, I'd rather she would punish me than you.
JILL: Well, I wouldn't. Come on, let's not make mud pies any
more. Let's play Tag. (They play, running about noisily on the
stage.)
649
650 JACK AND JILL
MOTHER (Thrusts her head out of the window): Here, here!
What's this? (The children stop.) Why aren't you after that
water? Answer me? Why aren't you getting the pail filled?
You lazy children; I've a mind. . . .
JACK: It's my fault, Mother. I
JII-L: No, it's my fault I wanted to play.
MOTHER: I've told you not to interrupt me. Now go fetch that
water and then I'll punish you for having been naughty. Hurry
now, because I need the water for the lentils !
JACK : Please, where's the pail ?
MOTHER : Don't ask such silly questions. Where it always is, of
course. It's by the back door. (JACK goes off left.) Such Stupid
children I never thought I'd have. And you're dirty, too.
Why. . . . (JACK reenters, left, carrying very large wooden pati.)
Now hurry there; don't go slow!
JILL (Who has been cowering back, runs to JACK) : Here, let me
help you.
MOTHER : No you don't, Miss Priss ! You'll go to the kitchen and
keep the lentils from scorching.
JILL: Please, Mother; the pail's too heavy for him.
MOTHER:- Don't sass me. Now march. To your work, both- of
you. And don't sing, because I want to sleep. (She roughly
pushes JILL off left, then enters through door of house. JACK
goes off right, slowly. After a second, both JACK and JILL come
tiptoeing onto the stage and bump into each other, center, be-
cause they are watching the window.)
JILL: Oh!
JACK: Jill, I came back for you. Did she beat you?
JILL: No, but she said she would when she woke up.
JACK: Maybe you'd better go back and watch the lentils. She'd
be awful mad if they scorched.
JILL (Tossing her head) : Let her be mad then. I'm going with
you to carry the water.
JACK : I can get along all right.
JILL : No, I'm going to help you cayrry it. It's too heavy for you
to carry alone.
JACK: We'd better hurry, then, before she wakes up. (They
hurry off right, carrying pail between them.)
CURTAIN
* * *
JACK AND JILL 651
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE: FAIRY enters right doing a sprightly dance. She pauses
center stage.
FAIRY:
This is my birthday
And I must make it a mirth-day
Because I'm now a real fairy
And my wings are so airy
I must make everyone gay.
(Does a few more steps.) Jack and Jill are sad, did you see
them? They are the best and kindest children in the village.
I shall have to reward them. I must make them happy. But
how? (A noise of marching feet off right. Enter ELVES.)
ELVES: Ha.
IST ELF: Ha.
2ND ELF : Ha.
3RD ELF: Ha, ha!
FAIRY: Who are you?
ELVES:
We are the elves of the well on the hill ;
We don't like Jack and we don't like Jill.
We came out of our caves,
Like so many knaves,
To do what harm we could.
FAIRY: Why do you want to do harm? There's so much good
you can do!
ELVES:
They riled our well,
And now we tell,
That those who disturb us
Will not long perturb us ;
Though they are small,
They all must fall!
FAIRY: Oh, you mean things.
IST ELF: We aren't mean; we're just looking out for ourselves.
3RD ELF: They riled our water. They yelled down our well. And
thtty disturb us.
652 JACK AND JILL
2ND ELF : And we must punish them.
ELVES:
Though we're not churlish
Still we're not girlish.
We know our work
And may not shirk.
Do our duty we must,
Though earth turn to dust
FAIRY : But surely they didn't mean to disturb you. They prob-
ably didn't know that it was your water.
IST ELF: But they knew it was someone's water.
2ND ELF : And they shouldn't have disturbed it without permission
anyway. So we shall teach them a lesson they'll not forget.
SHD ELF:
Ha, ha! We'll get them yet.
A lesson they'll learn
When we finish our turn.
FAIRY: What are you going to do to them?
ELVES:
They climbed our hill
Now let them spill
All the water
So their Mother will spank them for their fall
And then they will bawl !
(They march in formation and exit right.)
FAIRY (Goes center) : Oh, those mean elves I What will I do to
help poor Jack and Jill! I can't stop those mean elves; and
they'll make Jack and Jill late so their Mother will beat them.
Oh, what can I do? (She sinks to the floor and buries her head
in her hands. After a second, she rises happily.) But I've for-
gotten that I'm now a real grown-up fairy ! I can do something !
I'll not let them hurt the children! (Noise off right. Screams of
JACK and JILL.) Oh, I'm too late.
MOTHER (Thrusts head out of window) : What was that noise?
(She cannot see the FAIRY.) Ill bet those children are up to
something again. Yes, that Jill had to go along after the water
. . . and they've fallen down and spilled it! Just wait till I get
to them. I'll teach them to disobey me! (She disappears from
the window.)
JACK AND JILL 653
FAIRY : I can stop her from being so cruel to them.
Hi lee, hi lo,
Now fast, not slow,
Drop your frown from your face
And smile apace,
Be kind and good
As a Mother should.
Hi lee, hi lo.
(Does light steps down right as MOTHER enters from door of
house. Waves wand, then stands in corner.)
MOTHER: Well, I'll fix those two. Ill ... Why, I feel so strange.
I wonder what's the matter. (Passes hand over face; begins
smiling.) Where are Jack and Jill? Now I remember; they fell.
Oh, are they hurt? (Exits right, calling) Jack, Jill! (Enter
ELVES inarching.)
ELVES:
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Those children fell,
As we did tell,
And now we watch with glee
To see them across theiir mother's knee.
Then them she'll spank,
And their ears she'll yank,
Because they spilled the water.
3RD ELF: How they'll cry and cry!
IST ELF : They'll be sorry they riled our well.
2ND ELF : We are doing our duty when we punish them.
ELVES:
Let's go turn the milk
And rot the silk
And fill the garden with weeds.
For we must show
That they can grow
As well as plants she needs.
IST ELF : No, let's wait till she punishes them. It'll be fun. (Enter
MOTHER, JACK and JILL right, arm in arm.)
MOTHER: So Jack fell down first?
JILL : Yes, and broke his crown.
MOTHER: His crown? Broke?
JACK!: Aw, I just hit my head real hard. And then Jill came
tumbling after!
654 JACK AND JILL
JILL : And I'm glad I did, too. It was so much quicker. I got to
you much sooner than if I'd had to walk down that steep hill.
MOTHER: There, there, dear. I know that you like to be with
your brother. I'll not ever separate you again. And I won't
ever be mean to you again, nor beat you. Here, let's all peel
these apples to eat.
ELVES (Coming forward) :
What's wrong with the woman, has she lost her mind?
To punish them has she declined?
We must do something!
FAIRY (Enters right) : No, you'll not do anything!
ELVES: What! You back again?
FAIRY: Yes, and for always. I am the spirit of Kindness, and
I've just become a real grown-up fairy. This is my birthday,
and I shall celebrate it by making Jack and Jill happy.
Away, away, bad elves!
You belong on shelves.
So hi lee, hi lo,
Away you go.
Back to your well
Where you shall dwell.
No more be mean,
But always gleam
On those who come for water.
Hi lee, hi lo,
Away you go.
(She drives them off right. Trips over to the MOTHER and JACK
and JILL; touches them with her wand.) Now they are gone.
They will not trouble you any more.
MOTHER: Who are you? Who will not trouble us any more?
FAIRY: I am the Spirit of Kindness. I have just removed the
spell of the Well-Elves from you. They were the cause of your
misfortunes, dear lady. But they will not trouble you again.
You will always be happy.
JILL: What lovely wings you have!
FAIRY : I have two of them, because brothers and sisters should
never quarrel or fight. And they are pure white because little
boys and girls should never disobey their mothers. And they
are light and graceful because I love my mother, as you should
love yours, too.
JACK AND JILL 655
JACK AND JILL: Oh, we do! She's so nice now!
MOTHER: I'm so glad you're here. Won't you stay with us always?
FAIRY : No, you are happy now. I must go and find others that
are not happy, and make them so. So goodbye, Jack and Jill.
Goodbye, dear lady. I'm glad that you are now good to Jack
and Jill. Goodbye, goodbye. . . . (Dances off right.)
MOTHER : She's such a good fairy. And to think, you were almost
killed!
JACK : But we weren't, Mother.
JILL: May we help you, Mother?
MOTHER: Yes, you may play with Jack while I fix the lentils.
JACK AND JILL: Let us help you!
MOTHER: Of course, dears, if you want to. (Takes a step for-
ward.) And to think, this happiness is all because of the spirit
of Kindness! (JACK and JILL run up and embrace her.)
THE END
BROOM MARKET DAY
by Lida Lisle MoUoy
Characters
TOBIAS CROWDER or GRANTHER, who tries out ancient spells on
his brooms
MARGIT CROWDER, who keeps house for her grandfather
PARSON WITTLEBY, who wants a hearth broom and buys a hobby-
horse broom
NICHOLAS WORTHY, who wants a hobby-horse and buys a hearth
broom
DAME DICKENS, who wants a "riding" broom and buys a scare-
crow
DAME WORTHY, who wants a little time to worry in peace
ELDER SNOW, who likes a good witch hunt
DAME SNOW, who knows a witch when she sees one
TOWN CRIER
SETTING : The broom maker's cottage on Broom Market Day.
AT RISE : GRANTHER is seated on a stool stitching on the last
broom. MARGIT briskly dusts mugs and plates, standing on tip-
toe to reach them. As she works she chants.
MARGIT :
Broom market day! Broom market day!
Come one! Come all!
From hearth and stall !
Come, buy our brooms today.
GRANTHER (Repeating): "Lover's knot, sailor's knot..."
MARGIT (Brushing up hearth) : If you are not away before the
buyers come, Granther, it will be the same as always.
GRANTHER (Scratching head) : What conies next?
MARGIT: Dame Pennyroyal will say her husband is ailing again
and you will pick out the finest broom and (Demonstrating)
give it to her with a bow. "Not a farthing ! Not a farthing, good
656
BROOM MARKET DAY 657
Mistress!" (Shakes finger at GRANTHER) And you with no
linen fit for wearing on the Sabbath.
GRANTHER (Sadly) : I've forgotten the spell for the witch's
broom.
MARGIT: Spell? (Sits down on hearth suddenly and stares at
GRANTHER) Witch's broom?
GRANTHER : There are spells to be woven into the making of every
sort of broom, my child. I've not told you before since you are
only a lass and need never learn the secrets of the trade. Ours
came from the first Crowder, master broom maker for King
Arthur in the days of the great Merlin.
MARGIT (Severely) : This is the seventeenth century, Granther.
What would Parson Wittleby say?
GRANTHER : What, indeed ! He could preach a year of sermons on
this one broom. (Repeating)
Wood of yew
Twisted and torn,
Straw of midnight
Cut in moon's dark,
Stitched with thread
From blind man's shroud.
Tie with lover's knot!
Tie with sailor's knot !
Tie ...
There! I've forgotten the rest.
MARGIT (Touching brooms timidly) : What will the spells do to
the brooms, Granther?
GRANTHER: Eh? Spells? Mark you, for six generations no
Crowder has used the spells to make selling brooms but 'tis said
if a person buys a magic broom 'twill serve only the work and
not the master.
MARGIT (With scarecrow broom) : Then the scarecrow broom
can only frighten birds from the fields.
GRANTHER': So 'tis said.
MARGIT (Picking up hearth broom) : And the hearth broom. . .
GRANTHER (Chuckling) : Can never beat the scullery maid.
MARGIT: Suppose the spells work, Granther? (Shivering) Sup-
pose Parson Wittleby bought the witch's broom?
658 BROOM MARKET DAY
GRANTHER: Fiddle-dee-dee! What spell would dare work on the
Parson.
MARGIT: But, Granther, if it did work— if someone were whisked
away on the witch's broom the town council would h-hang you.
GRANTHER: Hang?. . .Hangman's knot!. . . (Sets to work on the
broom) . . .The last knot of the spell. Thank you, my child.
(Sets finished broom on floor) Done! I'll warrant no -stouter
flying broom ever was made by a Crowder.
MARGIT (Picks up broom gingerly) : There's a look of mischief
about it. It's not to be trusted, Granther. (Carries it to alcove)
Now ! Stay out of sight.
TOWN CRIER (Far away) : Seven o' the clock and a fair-r-r morn-
ing!
MARGIT (Returns with coat, broad-brimmed hat and white par-
cel) : Into your walking coat, Granther.
GRANTHER (Putting on coat) : Hadn't I best stay and help with
the broom selling, Margit?
MARGIT: So you may give away your summer's work? (Gives him
white parcel) Here's bread and cheese for your eating.
GRANTHER (Starting toward door) : Thank you, my child.
MARGIT (Looking around at the brooms) : They'll not do any
mischief, will they, Granther?
GRANTHER (Heartily) : Not a mischief among them, I'll warrant.
Spells, like men, get old and worn out. You'll have a nice quiet
day, as always, with a bit of gossip for spice. (At door, chuck-
ling) Ah, but 'twould be a fine sight!
MARGIT: A fine sight, Granther?
GRANTHER: Parson on the witch's broom, his coat tails flying
(Gesturing) behind. (Exit TOBIAS CROWDER.)
MARGIT: Granther! (MARGIT turns back and begins to straighten
room. Puts brooms of one kind together, making a small verse
as she does so.)
Hobbyhorse brooms for school boys' riding,
Strong hearth brooms for housewives' tidying,
Scarecrow brooms of willow switches,
Spell-made brooms. . .
(The witch's broom falls down with a terrific thump. MARGIT
jumps.)
for night-borne witches.
BROOM MARKET DAY 659
(Picks up broom and puts it back in alcove.) Stay there,
Broom. Don't you dare get Granther into trouble.
TOWN CRIER (Far away) : Broom market day at the Crowders !
Broom market day !
PARSON WITTLEBY (Entering) : Mistress Margit.
MARGIT (Curtsey) : Parson Wittleby.
PARSON WITTLEBY: I want a hearth broom for my study. (The
witch's broom faUs down and MARGIT scuttles to put it back.
She keeps glancing at the alcove apprehensively. PARSON looks
over all the brooms and selects one of the hobbyhorse variety.)
The price of this one, Mistress Margit?
MARGIT: One pence, your reverence. (Shows him real hearth
broom.) Here is a better broom, Parson Wittleby. It is stronger
and costs but a penny more.
PARSON WITTLEBY : "A penny saved is a penny earned."
MARGIT: This will outlast the other two times over.
PARSON WITTLEBY: Margit Crowder, you are exhibiting a
marked stubbornness of mind. It is unbecoming in one of your
tender years.
MARGIT: I know, Parson Wittleby, but. . .
PARSON WITTLEBY : The one penny broom, if you please, Mistress
Margit. (Gives her coin.)
MARGIT (Putting penny in pocket) : Thank' you, your reverence.
(The brush of the PARSON'S broom begins to wriggle about on
the floor.)
PARSON WITTLEBY: Whoa! Whoa, there! (Finds himself astride
the broom.) Ahem! Odd! Very odd, indeed! (The broom leads
the PARSON about the room. Finally, he is prancing like a school
boy) Giddap ! Giddap, Dobbin ! (Strikes at broom with imagin-
ary whip.) Faster, my good horse! Faster! (Exit.)
MARGIT (Running to the door) : Parson Wittleby! (Turns, weep-
ing, to fireplace. Sits on the three-legged stool.) O Granther,
they work. The spells work! (Enter NICHOLAS WORTHY. He
tiptoes toward MARGIT and tickles her with broom straw.)
MARGIT (Jumps) : Nicholas Worthy, what do you mean by spy-
ing like that?
NICHOLAS (Hopping on one foot) : You wouldn't have minded if
you hadn't been crying.
MARGIT: Why aren't you home tending the cows like a proper
boy?
660 BROOM MARKET DAY
NICHOLAS (Hopping and looking at brooms) : Who wants to be
a proper boy? (Chants)
Everybody works but Nicholas
And he plays 'round all day.
MARGIT: Well, what do you want, Nicholas Worthy?
NICHOLAS : A hobby-horse broom. (Holds out hand with several
coins in it.) Elder Snow gave me a six-pence and three pennies
for finding his purse with the gold sovereigns in it.
MARGIT: That's a great deal of money, Nicholas. Why don't you
go to Dame Goody's shop and buy a fine kerchief for your
mother?
NICHOLAS: Because, Margit Crowder, I want a hobby-horse
broom. (Picks up hearth broom.) Here, this one. (Gives
MARGIT coins. Broom begins to act strangely. It refuses to move
when NICHOLAS tries to ride it) This clumsy broom. (Tries
tugging and pulling) I can't even move it, Margit.
MARGIT (Takes broom and begins to sweep hearth) : Push it like
this, Nicholas. So-o-o. Very gently or you will raise a dust.
(NICHOLAS takes over, sweeping in silence.)
NICHOLAS (Happily) : This is good fun — more fun than hobby-
horse riding. (Picks up straws and looks at MARGIT severely)
What an untidy housekeeper. See ! Three broom straws and a
thimbleful of ashes on the hearth. (Continues sweeping toward
door. MARGIT follows after, clapping hands silently) I wonder
if mother has swept the keeping room? (Exit NICHOLAS sweep-
ing) I so hope she hasn't. (MARGET stands at door, laughing.)
TOWN CRIER (Far away) : Oyez, mesdames. A broom for every
fancy at Crowder's today. (The witch's broom falls. MARGIT
runs to put it back.)
MARGIT: O you witch of a broom!
DAME DICKENS (Entering) : Were you speaking to me, Mistress?
MARGIT (Curtsey) : No, indeed, Dame Dickens.
DAME DICKENS : Tis no matter. I've been called worse. Well,
Miss, I want a broom for (Lowers voice) night work.
MARGIT (Sympathetically) : What a pity, Dame. So ever busy you
must sweep at night !
DAME DICKENS: Who said anything about sweeping at night?
(Picks up large scarecrow broom) Here. I'll take this.
MARGIT (Substituting a hearth broom) : Let me show you a bet-
ter one, Dame Dickens.
BROOM MARKET DAY 661
DAME DICKENS (Snapping) : I've a good eye for a broom, Mis-
tress Margit. This one is strong* It will stand a deal of hard
riding.
MARGIT (Puzzled) Riding? If it's riding that you want, Dame,
here are the hobby-horse brooms for children.
DAME DICKENS : Hobby-horse brooms ! (Sputters) It's enough to
make a body give up the business what with the sleep one loses.
(Puts scarecrow broom under arm) This is the broom I want.
MARGIT : It costs a sixpence, Mistress Dickens.
DAME DICKENS : Worth a silver shilling to Dickens any day.
(Gives MARGIT money. Broom begins to twist and turn, brush
toward the ceiling) Upon my word, I've never seen a broom so
lively before sundown. (Puts own hat on broom. Broom jerks
along toward door) A shawl, now, would set you up in grand
style. Come along, my hearty.
MARGIT: Please take back the shilling, Dame. (Exit DAME
DICKENS) It's a s-scarecrow broom. (Weeping) Granther, see
what your spells have done. (Enter DAME WORTHY.)
DAME WORTHY (Giving MARGIT a handkerchief) : Wipe your
eyes, child.
MARGIT (Sobbing) : D-do you w-want a b-broom, Dame Worthy?
DAME WORTHY (Sitting) : After my worrying's done, Margit.
MARGIT: Is anything wrong?
DAME WORTHY: Nicholas.
MARGIT: Nicholas?
DAME WORTHY: A boy as afraid of honest work as a scalped man
of an Indian, suddenly takes to sweeping and tidying. It must be
a spell of sickness. (Witch broom falls down) That, my child,
is as tempting a broom as ever I saw.
MARGIT (Putting it back) : It's not for sale, Dame Worthy.
DAME WORTHY (Sighing) : I don't know that I'd forgive myself
if Nicholas sickened with a sweeping fever. (Broom thumps
down again. DAME WORTHY picks it up) A lifetime of wear in
that, I'll warrant. (Tries it out. Broom flies around the room)
My ! my ! A light broom for all its weight. Worth a sixpence if
it's worth a penny. (Gives MARGIT money. Coin drops on floor.)
MARGIT : Please, Dame Worthy, it can't be sold. It's a prankish
broom truly, and not to be trusted.
DAME WORTHY (Broom held horizontally in hands) : I've always
had a mind for traveling, Margit. To Providence, perhaps, or
662 BROOM MARKET DAY
New Amsterdam village. (Broom tugs toward door) Flying
would be pleasant, wouldn't it? Very pleasant, indeed! (Exit
DAME WORTHY and witch's broom.)
MARGIT (At doorway) : Oh-h-h ! (Reenter PARSON WITTLEBY.)
PARSON WITTLEBY : Ah ! you have noticed it, too.
MARGIT: Y-yes, Parson Wittleby.
PARSON WITTLEBY {Looking up at door) : I don't know when
I've seen so large a bird. Very interesting. Very. It may, indeed,
be the fabulous auk. (Turning into room) I'll not trouble you
long, Mistress Margit. I just came back for more of the — er —
exercising brooms.
MARGIT: How many, Parson?
PARSON : One for each of my sons — (Counting on fingers) —
Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel,
Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah — Eleven and an extra one for
myself. Twelve in all.
MARGIT (Picking up brooms) : Yes, your reverence. Twelve.
PARSON (At door) : Of course, it may only be a great eagle. (En-
ter ELDER SNOW and DAME SNOW, breathlessly.)
ELDER SNOW (Waggling his finger toward sky) : Witchcraft,
that's what it is !
PARSON: Witchcraft?
DAME SNOW : Dame Worthy, up there cavorting with the swal-
lows. (MARGIT drops brooms. DAME SNOW turns and glares.)
PARSON: Dame Worthy? (Polishes spectacles and looks again)
Really?
MARGIT: Let me explain, Parson Wittleby.
DAME SNOW : Explain? What is there to explain about riding on
a broom. (Shrilly) In broad daylight, too. She should at
least have had the decency to stay at home until midnight.
PARSON (Sadly) : This must come to trial.
ELDER SNOW: At once! (Severely) Ordinance seventeen of the
village council: "Any person or persons seen riding a broom
after nightfall, with or without a black cat for companions, shall
be known as a witch and shall, forthwith, be punished by duck-
ing, hanging or such measures as the selectmen shall devise. . ."
DAME SNOW (At door) : She is turning back. The witch !
MARGIT : Dame Worthy is not a witch. She is a good, kind woman.
PARSON : Leave these matters to your elders, my child.
&OOM MARKET DAY 663
DAME SNOW (Still looking up) : Giddy as a swallow, I do de-
clare. (Bumping and thumping outside. DAME WORTHY enters
with flushed face and untidy hair. She drags broom in and stands
it by door. Straightens cap.)
DAME WORTHY: A good day to you, neighbors.
DAME SNOW: Hmmmph!
MARGIT (Running to her) : Oh, Dame Worthy, why did you come
back?
DAME WORTHY : The broom didn't want to but I was very firm.
Susannah's -braids, you know. They weren't down when I left
this morning and she's very touchy about combing.
MARGIT : Dame Worthy, they're going to bring you to trial.
DAME WORTHY: Trial?
PARSON WITTLEBY : You have brought the grave charge of witch-
ing against yourself.
DAME WORTHY (Site down suddenly on stool) : Witching? (En-
ter DAME DICKENS. Scarecrow now has carrot nose, corn silk
hair and wears a shawl.)
DAME DICKENS: Witching, eh? (Thumps scarecrow against
wall.) Mind your manners, Hepzibah. (Turning) What's this
talk about witching?
DAME WORTHY : My broom sailed away with me, Mistress
Dickens. (Weakly) I must be a witch.
DAME DICKENS : So, Dame Worthy, you're a witch. How would
you set about giving Elder Snow chilblains in December?
DAME WORTHY (Sympathetically) : Are you troubled with chil-
blains, Elder Snow? Tsk! Tsk! Turpentine mixed with a little
good lard is a fine remedy.
DAME DICKENS : What spell would you use to mildew Dame
Snow's fine madeira linen, Witch Worthy?
DAME SNOW: You! The tablecloth on the bayberry bush, last
miclswpi'n^T night i
DAME DICKENS: La! La! Mistress, you could never prove it. (To
PARSON) Parson, no Witches' Union in New England would
take her (Pointing to DAME WORTHY) as apprentice.
ELDER SNOW : Mistress Dickens, she was seen riding a broom in
broad daylight.
MARGIT: Daylight? (Firmly) Then she isn't a witch.
PARSON WITTLEBY : Explain yourself, Margit Crowder. This is a
serious matter.
664 BROOM MARKET DAY
MARGIT : The town ordinance says : "Any person or persons seen
riding a broom after nightfall. . ." Dear Mistress Worthy can't
be a witch.
DAME SNOW (Flouncing out) : Well, I never! (Exit)
ELDER SNOW (Stalking out) : I shall have the ordinance amended.
At once. (Exit.)
PARSON WITTLEBY: You are not a witch, Dame Worthy?
DAME WORTHY : I — I don't believe so.
PARSON WITTLEBY: Then if you must ride (Softly) — an exer-
cising broom is the thing!
MARGIT: Your brooms, Parson Wittleby.
PARSON WITTLEBY: Ah, yes the brooms. (Starts toward exit.)
MARGIT : Twelve pence, Parson Wittleby.
PARSON WITTLEBY : Ah, yes, twelve pence. (Pays MARGIT) Good
day to you, Mistresses. (Bows. Exit.)
DAME WORTHY : Thank you, my child. Thank you, Dame Dickens.
DAME DICKENS : La ! Haven't had so much fun since I mildewed
Gossip Snow's tablecloth last summer, (Looks out door.) A fine
black crow, Hepzibah. Get along with you. (Catches up scare-
crow) Margit Crowder, save all the scarecrow brooms for me.
(Exit. From without) I've decided to give up witching. (Puts
head around door) A body loses so much sleep.
DAME WORTHY (Goes to witch's broom) : I can never take it
home, Margit. 'Twould turn me into a gadabout if not a witch.
(Sighing) But I shall always remember how peaceful — how
free it was up there above the tree tops, with the wind and the
sun and the swallows for company. (Enter NICHOLAS WORTHY,
breathless. He carries his broom.)
NICHOLAS: Mother.
DAME WORTHY: Yes, Nicholas.
NICHOLAS WORTHY : Such fun ! I've swept the hearth. I've swept
the dooryard and the path to the milk house. What may I sweep
now?
DAME WORTHY : With ten children about I think (Laughing) you
might start on the hearth again.
NICHOLAS: How nice to have ten children in the house, mother.
I and my broom will never be done tidying.
DAME WORTHY : You may be ill, Nicholas, but (Patting his
head) I shall not look for a remedy. (Bowing) A good day to
you, Margit
BROOM MARKET DAY 665
MARGIT: A very good day to you both. {Exit DAME WORTHY and
NICHOLAS.)
TOWN CRIER (Far away) : Have you bought your Crowder
broom, Mistress? There's none like them. (Still further away)
None like them.
MARGIT (To witch's broom) : None like you, indeed, you wicked
broom! (Shaking it) Try to put Granther in-jail, will you? Try
to witch good Dame Worthy? (Crossing to fireplace) I know
what 111 do with you. I'll burn you. I'll let you boil the kettle
for Granther's tea. (Puts broom against the fireplace. Bustles
about filling kettle on hob. As she returns to fireplace she trips
over witch' s'broom. Other brooms tumble over. She sits there,
astonished, folding kettle high in air when GRANTHER re-
enters.)
GRANTHER: Well, my child, I can see you've had a nice quiet
broom market day.
TOWN CRIER (Very jar away) : Broom market day! Broom mar-
ket day ! . . . (GRANTHER and MARGIT look at each other and
laugh.)
THE END
JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
by Lida Lisle Molloy
Characters
MARGERY DAW, zvife of Jack Daw and mistress of the Jack Daw Inn
the Daw
JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
THE KING'S TRUMPETER
THE KING'S HERALD
THE MAN who is also THE KING
SETTING: The Jack Daw Inn
AT RISE : MARGERY DAW is shaking cloth at the open door. Ashes
strew the hearth, faggot pile is askew. There are a large bowl,
spoon and several crocks and jars on trestle table.
MARGERY DAW (Squinting at sun) : Lawkamercy ! Sun's noon-
high and the plum duff not yet in the boiling pot. (Calling)
Dilly, cease pulling the cat's tail. Dally, you were sent to pick
gooseberries, not to fall napping under the bush. Into the kitch-
en, both of you. (Bustles inside, laying cloth away in chest.
Brings pitcher from chest to table. Pretends to put various in-
gredients in large bowl) Barley meal, three measures. . . good
yellow butter. . .whitethorn honey. . .a ladle of milk. (Sound of
howling, without, rear) Mercy o' me! It's a lone woman I am
with the Jack Daw Inn on my hands, besides Dilly and Dally
Daw, a donkey that balks and a cow that won't give cream on a
Sunday. (Enter DILLY leading a howling DALLY by the ear)
What's the matter now?
DALLY (Wailing) : Mother.
MARGERY DAW: Dilly Daw, that's your own twin brother's ear.
(DILLY drops hands and looks virtuous. DALLY snuffles and
wipes his eyes.)
666
JENNY-BY-THE-DAY 667
DILLY: He was napping again, Dally was, right after you told us
to come in.
MARGERY DAW (Severely) : Where are the gooseberries, Master
Daw?
DALLY (Mumbling) : The gooseberries?
MARGARET DAW : The gooseberries for tarts I sent you to pick.
DILLY (Calmly) : I ate them.
MARGERY DAW: Dilly, Dally, if your father weren't sailing the
seven seas. . .
DILLY : There was only a handful. (Smugly) Dally is a lazy-bones.
MARGERY DAW (Sharply) : To work now and no nonsense. Dally,
put a faggot under the pudding pot. Dilly, fetch the duff bag.
(DALLY lastly moves to fireplace, picks up faggot, throws it
down, takes another. Yawns prodigiously. Crawls to fire and
pokes at it with his stick.)
DILLY: I'm hungry.
MARGERY DAW (Pretending to shape pudding in bowl) : The pud-
ding bag, if you please.
DILLY : I'm hungry and I shall have a bowl of pease porridge or
I will scream down the roof.
MARGERY DAW (Throwing up her floury hands) : Get on with
your porridge, pepper pot. I'll fetch the bag myself. (DiLLY
scampers to fireplace, lifts lid of kettle sitting in ashes and sniffs.
Sound of hoofbeats, without. MARGERY tries to listen. DILLY
takes ladle and dips it into kettle, brings it to her mouth with
loud smacking noises.) Dilly, hush your noise. (Hoofbeats
grow louder.)
DILLY (Skipping to chest for bowl) :
Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the pot nine days old.
Some like it hot, some like it cold,
Some like it in the pot nine. . . (Trumpet, without.)
TRUMPETER (Without) : The King's Herald! Make way for His
Majesty's Herald. (Enter TRUMPETER and HERALD with proc-
lamation.)
MARGERY DAW (Straightening cap) : Lawkamercy !
TRUMPETER: Are you one Margery Daw, mistress of Jack Daw
Inn?
MARGERY DAW (Bobbing her head) : I am.
668 JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
TRUMPETER: Word is abroad that you make plum duff fit for the
King.
MARGERY DAW : Jack Daw himself says there is never a cook on
the seven seas can match my boiled pudding. (Sits down, sud-
denly, on three-legged stool) The King! Mercy o' me, duff for
the King!
TRUMPETER: Silence, woman, while the royal Herald reads the
royal proclamation. (Trumpet) His Exalted Excellency, Third
Lord of the Audience Chamber, the Kings' Herald. (DALLY
inches over to mother's stool. DILLY wanders over to listen.)
HERALD (Unrolls proclamation) : Know ye, Good Peoples, that
our Sovereign the King, having suffered most grievous sorrow
through the death of his daughter, the Princess Ellin, doth trav-
el about the land seeking ease of mind. If there be any among
you who can amuse the King or add to his pleasure, let him do
so with hearty good will. Signed. The Lord High Chancellor.
(Pushes down spectacles and looks at MARGERY DAW) Duff is
His Majesty's favorite pudding. There is talk — only talk, mind
you — that the Royal Party will drive by Jack Daw Inn so that
His Majesty may sample your plum duff. On the other hand, he
has been advised to see the two-headed calf down Donnybrooke
way.
DILLY (Holding up one leg, begins to hop around in front of
TRUMPETER and HERALD) :
Duff is duff
And good enough,
But a two-headed calf
Would make me laugh. (Stops before HERALD)
If I were a king I would go to see the two-headed calf.
MARGERY DAW : Dilly !
HERALD (Motioning TRUMPETER to leave) : Madam (Coldly), if
His Most Gracious Majesty deigns to stop at this Inn, I beg
you to keep this (Sputtering) giddy jackanapes out of sight.
(Turns quickly. Exit) I shall definitely recommend His Maj-
esty's departure to Donnybrooke. (Without. DILLY hops to
door.)
MARGERY DAW (Fanning herself with frying pan from fireplace) :
Mercy o' me ! It's a lone woman I am with the duff not yet aboil-
ing and the King himself practically on my doorstep ! (Enter
JENNY-BY-THE-DAY, neat and friendly.)
JBNNY-BY-THE-DAY 669
JENNY: Good morrow, Mistress. (Curtsey) Have you a good
heart?
MARGERY DAW (Claps frying pan back on hook) : And if I have
a kind heart or if I haven't, Miss ! (Rises, briskly.)
DILLY (Hopping in front of JENNY) : What's your name?
JENNY: Jenny-by-the-day, if you please, Mother says I am
only to work for a person with a kind heart.
MARGERY DAW (Settling her skirts) : Dally, blow on the fire and
set the kettle to boiling. (DALLY yawns, dawdles and scatters
ashes. MARGERY gets pudding bag and string from chest.)
DILLY (Still hopping) : Why are you Jenny-by-the-Day?
JENNY (Keeping an eye on DAIRY'S work) : I am the oldest and
two rooms are a very tight fit for ten. Besides Nora is eight and
quite old enough to bib the babies and tuck their porridge into
them. (DALLY tips the pot and water spills) No ! No ! (JENNY
crosses to fireplace, kneeling beside DALLY) First, the ashes
away from the coals. Then a gentle blowing like a breeze.
(Blows on coals) Then — twigs to feed the flame. Now. . .
(Fans fire with apron) Mother says there's never a man with a
hand light enough for laying a cottage fire. Dally, five faggots,
dry and seasoned. (Stacks faggots under pot, rises and straight-
ens kettle on crane) The kettle will be boiling in a twinkle.
DILLY (Hopping to fireplace) : I am going to be a sailor like my
father. What are you working for, Jenny?
DALLY (Under his breath) : A girl sailor 1
JENNY (Standing very straight) : For two pennies a day.
MARGERY DAW (Tying pudding bag at table) : Tuppence, is it?
That's a great deal of money, Miss-Small-Pint-of-Milk.
JENNY : It will take a great deal of money for Jamie's doublet and
the small twin's christening robe.
MARGERY DAW : Well, out with it. What can you do for a tuppence
a day? (DALLY saunters left, throwing a small twig in air and
catching it. Sits on floor under casement window and yawns
himself to sleep.)
JENNY (Anxiously) : I am always the first to find the speckled
hen's egg when she hides her nest
MARGERY DAW : Lackamercy ! There'll be no egg hunting this day
with what's likely to take place. See if the pot's boiling. (DILLY
hops to kettle. Lifts lid and burns herself) Mind your fingers if
you don't want to get burned, Mistress Dilly. (MARGERY puts
670 JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
bag in kettle. JENNY looks at crying BILLY'S fingers. Draws her
to table and puts butter on the burn) Listen well, Jenny.
JENNY (Curtsey) : Yes, Mistress.
MARGERY DAW : I must go to the milk house and skim the crocks.
There's some will want clabber and some cream with their duff.
(Takes ladle from fireplace) You are to sweep the floor, polish
the cups and plates, scour the table and keep the kettle boiling.
You understand?
JENNY: Yes, Mistress, I understand about puddings. Mother
makes them every day because with ten of us she needs some-
thing filling.
MARGERY DAW : Work well and there will be tuppence for you. If
not. . . (To DILLY who is tickling DALLY with a straw) Dilly,
mind you no hindering. (JENNY begins taking cups and plates
from mantel. MARGERY stops at door to shake finger at JENNY.)
The kettle, Jenny. Nothing must go amiss with the duff today.
(JENNY puts plates and cups on table and runs back to look
in pot.)
DILLY : You were nice about my finger, Jenny. It doesn't burn at
all any more. I think I shall sweep for you.
JENNY (Polishing cups) : Take the broom then and begin. Sister
Norah has been sweeping the hearth twice a day since she was
old enough to hold the broom stick. (DiLLY grabs broom and be-
gins to push it about violently in the center of the room.)
DILLY : Why, there is nothing at all to sweeping.
JENNY (Coughing because of the dust) : Tsk! tsk! a great girl
like you raising a whirlwind! Here, let me show you. (Goes
right. Begins to sweep gently, swiftly) So. Softly that you do
not lift the dust. Now. . . (DILLY tries again) Good, Dilly Daw.
Very good. With a little practice you will do as well as Norah.
DILLY : Norah is a silly. I am going to be a sailor and shall never
have to sweep and dean.
JENNY : What kind of a sailor would that be ! When my father was
young and brave and a seaman in His Majesty's service, he
scrubbed the decks every day till they shone like a fine lady's
mirror. (DALLY begins to watch JENNY with interest.)
DILLY (Nearing door) : He did?
JENNY (Putting back cups and plates) : He did, indeed ! (Bends
over fire) Now (With glance at DALLY) if there were only a
man about to fetch more faggots and lay the pile straight
JENNY-BY-THE-DAY 671
DALLY (Jumping up) : I am here, Jenny.
JENNY : So you are, Dally Daw. Do you think you could. . . ?
DALLY : Ob, yes, Jenny, and I shall be very quick about it 111 not
dally at all. (Runs out.) x
DILLY (Taking swipe at DALLY with broom she sights spider) :
Look ! A fat, silly spider. What fun ! (Holds up broom as if to
sweep web away.)
JENNY : Poor Master Spider ! (DILLY turns in astonishment) He
will be very sad.
DILLY: Sad, Jenny? (JENNY begins scrubbing table with brush.)
JENNY: He is a fine spider but no one ever lets him finish his
work. (Crosses to door) See how pretty his web is. Mother says
there is nothing in the world so pretty as spider's lace unless it
is the soft gray of a mouse.
DILLY (Disappointed) : Then I can't sweep it away?
JENNY (Back at table) : What he needs is a new home — say in
the cow's stall — where he can make lace all day long and no
one will bother him.
DILLY: I'll find a place, Jenny. A funny, secret place. (Exit
DILLY.)
JENNY: Oh, Master Spider. . . (Chanting)
We'll carry you there on your spinning thread
And leave you to fashion your key bed.
(Re-enter DALLY with faggots. Piles them neatly, right, fire-
place.) Very good, Dally. Brother Jamie could have done no
better.
DALLY (Running out) : I'm going to help Dilly find a house for
the spider.
JENNY (Putting away scrub brush) : See that it is a fine house,
Dally. (Looking about her) First, to gather apple blossoms and
then — water for the pudding pot (Crosses left and begins to
break branches through open casement window. Chanting)
Master Spider,
Your web will be so silken a thing
'Twould make a coverlid fit for the King. (MAN appears at
door.)
MAN (Looking in) : Good morrow, the lira.
JENNY (Turning in surprise) : Oh-h! (Curtsey) Pray you come
in, sir. But mind the spider, please, sir. Your plume might brush
him away.
672 JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
MAN (Doffs hat and bows to spider) : Sir Spider, by your leave!
Who am I to disturb so industrious a worker. (Enters) And
would you be Mistress Margery Daw of plum-duff fame?
JENNY : Not I, sir. Mistress Margery is skimming cream for the
plum duff in the buttery.
MAN: Ah! The plum duff!
JENNY: I'm Jenny-by-the-day.
MAN: Jenny-by-the-day? You should be a Jenny-at-play, child.
JENNY: Oh, no, sir! There's Jamie's doublet and the small twin's
christening robe and if I work hard I shall earn tuppence today.
(Holds out apple blossoms) Would you care to hold the flowers,
sir, while I fetch a pitcher for them? (Runs for flower holder.)
MAN (Sighing) : It has been a long time — a very long time, in-
deed, since a small maid gave me flowers to hold.
JENNY (Returning with pitcher) : Mother says there is nothing
makes a room so gay as apple blossoms. (Puts pitcher and flow-
ers on table) What was her name? The little girl who gave you
flowers to hold?
MAN (Sitting on bench) : Ellin. Her name was Ellin.
JENNY: Ellin? What a lovely name! Quite lovely enough for a
princess...
MAN (Smiling) : Yes, Jenny, quite lovely enough for a princess.
MARGERY DAW (Appearing in doorway with huge crock under
her arm) : Lawkamercy! (Sniffs) The pudding! (Rushes to
fireplace, thumping crock on the table in passing. JENNY fol-
lows) Chattering of princesses while the pot boils dry, (Lid
clatters to floor) I should thump your empty head with a cook-
ing ladle.
JENNY: That I should be so neglectful, Mistress. (Leans over
toward MARGERY) Thump it, please. Hard. (TWINS appear in
the doorway and stand gaping.)
MARGERY DAW (Lifts up pudding bag with long fork) : Stuck to
the pot and spoiled it is !
JENNY (Crying) : You need not pay me the tuppence, Mistress.
MARGERY DAW : Tuppence ! Indeed you'll get no tuppence but will
that fetch me my puddiqg so firm and round and speckled with
plums and the King himself coming to eat a slice?
JENNY (Awed) : The King? Oh Mistress Daw, I will work every
day for a score of years to pay you back.
MAN (Clearly) : Mistress Daw!
JENNY-BY-1 HE-DAY 673
MARGERY DAW: Your pardon, sir. You can see I have had an
upsetting. What will you have? There's cold pease porridge or
cold pie of fat hare with parsnips. But no duff what with a daft
maid burning the pudding.
MAN : I came for a taste of the pudding but I think I would like
the daft little maid instead.
MARGERY DAW : Humph !
DILLY (Left, begins to jump up and dawn, chanting) :
See-saw, Margery Daw,
Jenny shall have a new master. . .
MAN : Jenny-by-the-Day, (JENNY goes to him) would you come
to live at my house?
JENNY: To work, sir?
MAN : To work at being a happy child.
MARGERY DAW (In disapproval) : Weladay!
JENNY (Primly) : What would be my duties, sir?
MAN : Playing at ball in the garden, rolling a ribboned hoop down
long corridors and watching the swallows from every high
window.
JENNY: It sounds very pleasant, sir, but would that be work? And
what are the wages, sir? There's Jamie's doublet and the small
twin's christening robe, you know.
MAN (Smiling) : What would you say to a bright, shining penny?
DILLY (Giggling):
She shall have but a penny a day (DALLY tries to stop her)
Because she can't work any faster.
MARGERY DAW (Grumbles as she clatters around fireplace) : Half-
penny's more like it !
JENNY : A penny will do very well, sir. (Sadly) I can never ask
for tuppence again after letting the pudding burn.
MAN (Holding out his hand) : Is it a bargain then?
JENNY: A bargain, sir, (Curtsey) if it pleases my mother.
MAN (Rising and bowing) : Let us go at once, my lady, and in-
quire her pleasure.
JENNY : Good day to you, Mistress Daw. I shall pay for the pud-
ding out of my penny a day. (Skipping toward door) Goodbye,
Dilly. Goodbye, Dally. You will see Master Spider to his new
home, won't you?
DILLY and DALLY (Unhappily) : Yes, Jenny.
MAN (Crossing left to door) : Shall we arrive in time for tea,
Jenny?
674 JENNY-BY-THE-DAY
JENNY: Proper time, sir. There will be plum duff, if it please you,
sir, but a very thin slice. You see, there are ten of us in Wood-
cutter's Lane. (Exit JENNY, humming gaily.)
MAN: Mistress Daw, if two strange and excited men who call
themselves the King's Trumpeter and the King's Herald should
come looking for the King, pray tell them that His Majesty has
gone to tea in Woodcutter's Lane. (Sweeping bow. Exit.)
MARGERY DAW: Lawkamercy! (Holding onto the fireplace) Him-
self! The King!
DILLY (Sniffling) :
Jenny shall have a new master.
She shall have but a penny a day. . . (DALLY shakes her.)
DALLY : Stop making rhymes about Jenny, I like her.
DILLY : I do too. Jenny is nice. She put butter on my burned fin-
ger. (Pantomime. CHILDREN look at spider and then at each
other. DILLY nods. DALLY breaks thread holding spider and car-
rying it carefully, they leave hand in hand. Sound of hoof beats.)
MARGERY DAW (Crossing to door) : It's a lone woman I am with
Jack Daw Inn on my hands, with Dilly and Dally, a donkey that
balks (Hoof beats grow louder), a cow that won't give cream
of a Sunday and a daft girl that lets the pudding burn.
TRUMPETER (Without): Hola, Mistress Daw! Have you seen
the King?
MARGERY DAW : Down Woodcutter's lane he went, Excellencies.
(Hoofbeats. Calling after them) With Princess Jenny-by-the-
Day.
THE END
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
by Ruth Vickery Holmes
Characters
MAYOR OF GOTHAM
DOBBIN 1
HODGE L the leading men of Gotham
PETER J
VILLAGERS, as many as desired, both men and women
KING'S MESSENGER, with horn
KING'S SHERIFF
FIRST and SECOND SOLDIERS
NOTE : During the play, there are many intervals when all the vil-
lagers of Gotham talk, all together. The phrases given are to be
used, or changed slightly ad libitum. The volume of the sound of
all people talking together yet saying different things should ring
out with gusto.
SCENE 1
SETTING: The market square of Gotham.
AT RISE: The villagers of Gotham, with baskets on their arms,
and sacks on their shoulders, are moving about, exchanging their
wares, and talking ad lib.
VILLAGERS (All together) :
Ay, eggs — Fresh eggs — I gathered them this morning.
Look at my apples — Firm and sound for winter.
Who has a shoulder of pork? My wife's been asking for pork.
No pork have I, but fowls I have. Would fowls suit you?
Who wants some apples? (Etc.)
HODGE (Looking off right and pointing) : Look ! Look down the
road. (All stop talking, and look.)
675
676 THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
PETER (Presses through the crowd toward right) : It's Dobbin.
Running. Hot foot.
HODGE (Nods) : And nearly spent (DOBBIN enters, staggering
and out of breath.) Quick, Peter, catch his arm. (HODGE takes
DOBBIN'S arm, and helps him sit down upon the rim of the well.)
DOBBIN (Gasping) : Some water. Then I'll tell you. (PETER gives
DOBBIN a bowl of water, and the VILLAGERS press around
DOBBIN as he sips.)
MAYOR (Putting his hand on DOBBIN'S shoulder) : Take your
time, DOBBIN. But tell us when you can. Were you in danger?
DOBBIN (Nods vigorously) : Ay. So are we all in danger. Every-
one in Gotham. In danger of losing all the stores we have for
winter. And mayhap, of everything we own —
HODGE (Pushing away those who are too close) : Stand back, and
give the man more chance to breathe. (Turns to DOBBIN.) Now,
Dobbin, when you can —
DOBBIN (Stands up) : There's trouble in store for Gotham —
(Points to the hills in rear.) The King is drawing near, with all
his soldiers. He's camping over there, beyond those hills. He's
but ten miles away.
MAYOR (Nods) : But he is pushing northward — to the border.
He won't be coming here.
DOBBIN (Quickly) : But that he will. Tomorrow. Till all his troops
are gathered, the army's to be quartered in the neighboring
towns.
MAYOR (Frowning) : And Gotham's to be overrun with troops?
DOBBIN (Nods) : Ay, the King himself is coining here, with four
score men. Gotham's to house them all — to feed them all —
MAYOR (Much disturbed) : The King himself — and what he
likes, he takes. And doesn't pay.
VILLAGERS (All together) : And all his men are like him.
Pour score men — to house and feed for days —
They'll eat up all our food.
And turn us out of our beds.
Ay, we'll like be ruined.
MAYOR (Holding up his hand) : Silence. Let us think. What can
we do?
DOBBIN (Turning toward the MAYOR) : As I hurried home, I
tried to think of something. Else we'll be stripped, and winter'!!
find us starving.
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM 677
MAYOR (Nods) : Ay, ruined we'll be. (Deep in thought slowly.)
We must turn the King aside. (Raises his hand, and points to the
hiUs.) There, where the road is narrow, at the foot of yonder
hills, w;e'll block the road
DOBBIN (Approving) : Ay, we can cut some trees if we work fast.
HODGE (Nods) : And barricade them well.
MAYOR (Turns to the VILLAGERS) : And it might be — The King
might find it easier to turn back whence he came than wait to
have the road cleared. Shall we try it?
VILLAGERS (All together) : Ay, that we will —
Let's go and fell the trees —
Yes, block the road —
And keep the King from Gk>tham.
MAYOR (Nodding) : And keep the King from Gotham.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: The market square of Gotham the night of the follow-
ing day.
AT RISE : THE VILLAGERS of Gotham are standing around the well,
looking off right, tired, anxious, quiet.
HODGE (Turning from right, nods) : Our barricade must have
held.
PETER (Nods) : Ay, not a sign has there been of the King all day.
MAYOR (Raising his hands, and smiling) : Yes, now, my friends,
I think that Gotham's safe. 'Twas to good purpose that we
blocked the road. Let's all go home, and get some well-earned
rest.
DOBBIN (Pointing off right) : But look — Someone is coming —
afoot — and all alone —
VILLAGERS (Att together. Crowding to look off right) :
678 THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
Afoot — He isn't a soldier
And he's alone. That's good
Alone — then, there's no danger.
THE KING'S MESSENGER (Enters, and blows his horn) : Ye men
of Gotham — Listen well. Listen to this message from your
King. (Pauses, while all THE VILLAGERS draw together, and
face him) : •
His Majesty had it in mind to honor you. Most graciously he
planned to come to Gotham town — to accept its hospitality,
both for himself, and for his troops. (Stops and looks carefully
at THE VILLAGERS, who stand in science, unmoved.) But on the
way to Gotham he changed his plan —
MAYOR (Bows) : Then after all, is Gotham not to have the honor
of welcoming the King?
MESSENGER (Nods solemnly) : Circumstances compelled his Maj-
esty to change his plan of coming to Gotham — (Rising his
voice, ominously.) And in his place instead, the King will send
his Sheriff.
VILLAGERS (All together) :
The Sheriff —
The King's Sheriff —
Is not the Sheriff the Executioner?
The Sheriff — The Executioner.
MESSENGER (Bows right and left) :
His Sheriff, who is, as well, his Executioner.
The Sheriff will come, and with him, his assistants.
They will not have to ride the road.
They'll come as I did, by footpaths through the hills.
VILLAGERS (All together, muttering) :
The footpaths,
Through the hills,
Do you think by morning?
Ay, the footpaths.
MESSENGER (Pointing to the hills) : When his Majesty, the King,
came to those hills, he found — not a dear road, but piles of
trees and brush, blocking thcTway completely, and so intertwined,
they could not be removed.
VILLAGERS (All together, uneasily) :
Piles of trees?
And brush, all intertwined?
They could not be removed?
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM 679
MESSENGER (Nods) : So then, his Majesty summoned his Sheriff
and said — these are his words exactly — "We have decided to
return to camp. Ourself, and all our men — From Gotham, we'll
not accept a welcome as we'd planned — "
VILLAGERS (All together, nodding to each other) :
So — the King won't come here,
No, nor his men,
Gotham is not to welcome him.
MESSENGER (Raising his hand and speaking so slowly that each
word is emphasised) : "But in our place, go you to Gotham
town, and from all of those who live there, whose heads are
much too big, and need reducing, go, and slice off their noses"
VILLAGERS (All together, gasping, and moaning) :
Our noses to be sliced off?
So, our heads are too big, are they?
Better, had we not blocked the road —
Our noses — Oh, our noses.
MAYOR (Faces the MESSENGER courageously) : Is no one to be
spared this dreadful sentence?
MESSENGER (Bows) : Yes, of his graciousness, his Majesty said
more —
"Sharp wits" said he, "there are in Gotham town,
And right sharp measures shall be dealt to them.
But spare the women, and all the children,
The very old, and those who obviously, are lacking in wit,
And can be classed as fools."
(Bows right and left, and starts to go out right.) You've heard
the message from your King. Now I'll be off. (MESSENGER
leaves, and VILLAGERS turn to each other.)
VILLAGERS (All together) : What can we do?
The harshest sentence ever heard of —
Noses — Noses. No, never our noses —
We'll run away before the Sheriff comes —
No — Not our noses.
DOBBIN (Raising his voice) : Hush, men of Gotham. Hush. I
have a plan that may well save us all —
MAYOR (Raising his hand) : Let Dobbin speak — (Turns to DOB-
BIN.) What, Dobbbin, would you say?
DOBBIN (Staunchly) : We men of Gotham have but one thing to
do — And that will be full easy — Did you mark the part in
680 THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
the King's message — about who will be spared?
MAYOR (Nods) : Ay — The women — And little children — the
very old —
DOBBIN (Breaking in) : Ay — And those, who obviously are lack-
ing in wit, and can be classed as fools — Let's all be fools — All
— Everybody in Gotham —
VILLAGERS (All together, one and all, perceiving DOBBIN'S inten-
tion) :
We'll all be fools —
We'll all be lacking in wit —
No sense left in all Gotham —
We'll all be fools.
MAYOR (Nods) : Ay, Dobbin, your plan may save us all. We have
the night to make arrangements. (Raises his hand in resolution.)
All Gotham shall be classed as fools.
VILLAGERS (Repeat all together, joyously) : All Gotham shall be
fools!
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: The market square of Gotham the next morning at
AT RISE: Gotham seems deserted. Then THE SHERIFF enters
from right, followed by FIRST and SECOND SOLDIERS, all with
their swords half drawn.
SHERIFF (Crossing slowly to left, looks slowly about, then turns
to FIRST SOLDIER) : We reached Gotham in good season —
FIRST SOLDIER (Nods) : Ay, sir, before the sunrise. Dawn is but
breaking.
SHERIFF (Nods) : We'll seize the miscreants before they stir from
bed — (The sound of thumping stones is heard from left.)
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM 681
SECOND SOLDIER (Pointing off left) : Those sounds, sir. Some-
thing seems going on — (DOBBIN enters from left, pushing and
rolling along a large stone, followed by PETER and HODGE, who,
also, are pushing along heavy stones.)
DOBBIN (With great excitement) : Come on — Come, we must
hurry.
PETER (Giving his stone a very vigorous heave) : Ay, there is no
time to spare. We must go help the sun to rise —
HODGE (Rolling his stone very carefully) : Ay, the sun won't rise
till all our stones are placed —
SHERIFF (Seises HODGE, and shakes him roughly) : What's this
that's going on? What's this about the sunrise? (FifcST SOLDIER
seises DOBBIN, the SECOND, PETER.)
DOBBIN (Turns and faces SHERIFF) : Oh, sir, you must not stop
us. Else the sun won't rise.
SHERIFF (Angry, yet perplexed) : What's all this nonsense?
What's this about the sunrise?
DOBBIN (Nods pleasantly) : Why, sir, it is our duty — to help
the sun to rise. Each day at dawn, we push our stones to yonder
hill-top. Then (Triumphantly) up comes the sun.
HODGE (Nods) : Ay, sir, it's been like that for years. All Gotham
counts on us to help the sun rise. You must not keep us, or we'll
be too late.
SHERIFF (Letting go his hold on HODGE) : Ah — You have lost
your mind — (To SOLDIERS) We need not trouble with him,
who has so feeble a wit. But his companions — Are they mad
as well?
HODGE (Stoutly) : My companions know their duty as well as I
do. Each day, as Dobbin just told you, we push our stones to
yonder hill-top. Then — up comes the sun.
SHERIFF (Making a sign to his men, so that FIRST and SECOND
SOLDIERS release DOBBIN and PETER) : Poor, harmless fools.
We have no business to carry out with them. We must seek
further — (Nods to HODGE, DOBBIN, and PETER.) See here,
good men, just leave those stones alone. As your King's Sheriff,
I give my solemn word — The sun will rise without any help
from you.
DOBBIN (Uncertainly) : Well — If you're sure of that —
SHERIFF (With decision) : Entirely sure. There is no doubt what-
ever about it.
682 THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
PETER (Nodding happily) : Then we'll be saved a deal of work.
HODGE (Turning to PETER) : Then we'll be free to help the
others.
SHERIFF (Sharply) : What others? The men of Gotham?
DOBBIN (Nods) : Yes, all our friends and neighbors. Everybody
in Gotham — They, too, have work to do. We'll go and help
them.
SHERIFF (Beckoning to the SOLDIERS) : And we'll go with you.
We have business with the men of dotham— by the King's com-
mand. We'll follow you. Lead on.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING : An open field near Gotham. A cuckoo is supposedly con-
cealed in the bushes in readiness to fly up and out. A pile of
brush is near right center.
AT RISE : Complete silence reigns, while THE VILLAGERS of Goth-
am are laying branches to make a fence around the thicket. DOB-
BIN, HODGE, and PETER enter from left, followed by the SHERIFF
and FIRST and SECOND SOLDIERS.
DOBBIN (Crossing to the brush pile, turns, and whispers) : Quick,
Hodge and Peter — We must help build the fence. (Picks up a
branch; HODGE and PETER also pick up branches, and turn tow-
ard fence.)
SHERIFF (Looks at THE VILLAGERS, who go on working as if un-
mindful of his presence, then turns to FIRST SOLDIER) : What
make you of all this ? Whatever are they doing?
DOBBIN (Going close to SHERIFF) : Hush, sir. (In a loud, strained
whisper.) Or else, the cuckoo'll hear you.
SHERIFF (Wondering if he's heard right, but impressed by the
silence that continues as THE VILLAGERS go on making the fence,
THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM 683
he whispers) : Did you say — The Cuckoo'tt hear me? The
Cuckoo? What Cuckoo?
DOBBIN (Pointing at the thicket, whispers) : The cuckoo, sir,
who's resting in that thicket. For years, we men of Gotham have
tried to fence him round. But the cuckoo always moves before
we finish the fence.
SHERIFF (VILLAGERS continue working silently. SHERIFF mops
his brow, helplessly, and turns to FIRST SOLDIER again) : Did
you ever hear the like?
DOBBIN (Putting his finger to his lips) : Quiet, sir. The Cuckoo—
SHERIFF (Pointing to THE VILLAGERS) : Are these the men of
Gotham? Are they all here?
DOBBIN (Nods) : Ay, sir. Though to be sure, I do not see our
Mayor.
SHERIFF (Nods resolutely) : Then no more of this nonsense. (In
loud, firm tones.) You men of Gotham, at the King's com-
mand...
VILLAGERS (All together. Interrupting him) :
Oh, the cuckoo's gone
The cuckoo's flown away
A-lack a-day — Our cuckoo
Oh, our cuckoo. Where is the cuckoo now?
SHERIFF (To SOLDIERS) : Has everybody in Gotham lost their
wits?
FIRST SOLDIER (Nods) : Ay. If ever the men of Gotham once had
wits, it's plain they've lost them now.
SHERIFF (Thoughtfully) : But there is still their Mayor. Lef s find
the Mayor of Gotham.
SECOND SOLDIER (Nods) : Ay, let's see the Mayor. There must
be some soul in Gotham who is a man of sense.
PETER (Goes close to SHERIFF, and points off right) : Our Mayor
is coming now, if you would see him. (MAYOR enters, staggering
under the weight of a door, which he carries on his shoulders.)
SHERIFF (Doubtfully) : Are you the Mayor of Gotham?
MAYOR (Tries to bow) : Yes, at your service. The Mayor of Goth-
am — (Door threatens to fall. MAYOR raises his voice.) Oh, give
me help, I pray you. My burden seems to have slipped from
proper balance.
SHERIFF (Nods to SOUMERS, who go to the MAYOR'S assistance) :
Your burden is a strange one to cany on your shoulders. Is it
not a door?
684 THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM
MAYOR (Nods) : Yes, it is a door. My own front door. My stout,
my staunch front door.
SHERIFF (Looks at SOLDIERS helplessly, then turns to MAYOR) :
But why, sir, are you carrying your door about with you?
MAYOR (Sadly) : Oh, sir, I always carry my door — Wherever I
go — my door goes, too. There is no way to help it — I've so
much money at home —
SHERIFF (Mopping his brow again) : So — you always carry
your door. (Collects himself, and adds sternly.) What has your
door to do with money?
MAYOR (Reasonably) : Where there is money, there is great dan-
ger of thieves. Thieves might break down my door, did I not
take it with me. But sir, pray tell me this — How can thieves
break down a door if it's not there?
SHERIFF (Puts his hand to his forehead, then looks at SOLDIERS,
and shakes his head) : They are all mad. All. Everyone in
Gotham —
FIRST SOLDIER (Nods) : Ay, sir, our errand is quite hopeless —
SECOND SOLDIER ( Nods) : There are no men in Gotham. All,
poor, helpless fools.
SHERIFF (Turns to MAYOR, kindly) : That's right. Quite right.
No thieves can break a door that isn't there. But would it not
be easier, when next you leave your home, to leave your door,
and take your money with you?
MAYOR (Drops the door with a crash, and claps his hands) : Hur-
rah. Of course. The very thing. IT! leave the door behind. Just
cany my money with me.
VILLAGERS (AU together, nod and smile) :
Ah, now our Mayor is free —
He'll carry his door no more —
Hell take his money with him,
Just a small purse of money,
He need not cany the door,
Hurrah, the Mayor is free.
SHERIFF (To SOLDIERS) : Come. Back to the King. (On way out
left he pauses, and turns to SOLDIERS, who follow him.)
We'll tdl the King what's clear beyond all doubt —
There are no men in Gotham. AU, poor, helpless fools.
(SHERIFF and SOUMERS go off left; VILLAGERS throng toward
left watching them disappear, then turn to each other laughing.)
THE WISE If EN OF GOTHAM 685
MAYOR (Holding up his hand) : You see — There are no men in
Gotham —
VILLAGERS (All together, laughing) :
All — all of us
Everybody in Gotham —
We're all alike —
Poor, helpless fools.
ALL (In chorus) :
Poor, helpless fools.
THE END
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
by Lucy Kennedy
Characters
THE PIPER, a tall, thin fellow
OBIE, a crippled boy of ten who carves wooden cats
ALDERMAN STEMPERNICKEL, a fat person
ALDERMAN BUMPERKOPF, a still fatter person
THE MAYOR, a still fatter person
KATRINKA, a woman who is tired of the rats
WOMEN of the town
CHILDREN of the town
TIME : Long ago.
SETTING : A street in Hamelin, in front of the Town Hall.
AT RISE : OBIE, seated on the Town-Hall steps, is carving a wood-
en cat, and whistling. The PIPER enters and watches him a
moment.
PIPER:
Such care you take !
What is it you make?
OBIE : A wooden cat.
PIPER: A wooden cat?
Now what's the point in that?
OBIE : Well, there are so many rats here, the live cats are scared
of them. People buy these for souvenirs — it's kind of a joke !
PIPER:
So you're overrun with rats, who frighten your cats !
And has your town a name, as well as an ill-fame?
OBIE: Why, this is Hamelin town! Everyone who lives here
knows that!
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 68?
PIPER:
Everyone who lives here, true,
Must know the name as well as you.
OBIE (Looking the stranger up and down) : I guess I haven't
seen you around before. (He whittles some more.) But if you
don't live here, where else ? There's the river on that side.
(Pointing left.) And the mountain on that side. (Pointing right.)
And no one can live there, because the mountain's too high !
PIPER :
In back of the mountain is a beautiful city.
I had to leave it, more's the pity !
OBIE: You mean to tell me there's a town like this back of the
mountain?
PIPER:
Oh, it isn't a place like this at all!
For one thing, the houses aren't nearly so tall,
And they're made of mirrors that wink in the sun,
And everyone there has lots of f un,
And in the back yards, where there's a child,
Why lollipop bushes simply grow wild!
OBIE (Licking his lips) : Any chocolate caramel bushes?
PIPER:
Not bushes, no ! They grow on a vine,
That all around boys' windows twine !
OBIE : Pretty nice ! But what kind of people live there?
PIPER :
They're jolly, laughing, joyous and kind,
And the children there always want to mind !
OBIE : Golly, if I'd been you I wouldn't have left that place !
PIPER (With a sigh) :
You see, one day, I was unjust to a neighbor,
And the king there exiled me to labor,
Wandering about the world to teach,
That happiness is lost when we do o'er-reach.
That's why I talk in rhyme like this !
I was a poet there, before I went amiss,
These terrible rhymes grate on my ear
So that I wish sometimes I couldn't hear.
688 THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
OBIE: Wdl, they are pretty terrible. But then, when I like some-
one, I'm willing to overlook things !
PIPER:
Thank you, you are very kind,
To overlook my jingles and not mind.
Such was my penance, commanded by the king,
Before I could return there again to sing.
OBIE : Tell me — are there any chUdren there like me — I mean
— crippled?
PIPER:
All the children there are straight,
And run about with joyous gait,
And one of the quite most interesting things
Is that every horse has a pair of wings.
And when children are playing in the block
The horses needn't through them walk,
They simply take wing, and over them soar,
And the children keep playing as before.
OBIE : I think I'd like to go there, but (Shaking his head, sighing)
I have to whittle some cats. My mother sells them, and if we
have a good day, we eat — and if we don't — we don't !
PIPER:
But then your neighbors give you food, I guess.
For to feed one more, makes theirs not less.
OBIE : Most of them are as poor as we are. The rats just eat up
everything!
PIPER:
Which reminds me : I'm hungry and would like to eat.
I'll ask for my dinner from the first one I meet
OBIE : Asking and getting are two different things.
PIPER:
Here comes a citizen who looks well-fed,
All dressed in a lovely cloak of red.
OBIE: Oh, that's Alderman Stempernickel ! He won't give you
anything! All he does is sleep. He's too proud to bother.
(ALDERMAN STEMPERNICKEL, looking very important, ap-
proaches the Town Hall, wearing his red cloak in quite a regal
manner.)
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 689
PIPER (Simply, confidently) :
I'm hungry, good sir. Could you tell a poor sinner
Where he could come by a good hot dinner?
ALDERMAN (Pompously) : Out of my way ! I'm an alderman, and
1 can't be bothered with you. (With a sweeping gesture of his
cloak, he goes up the steps, into the Town Hall.)
PIPER:
Perhaps the man was in a hurry,
Or some thing caused him worry.
Here comes one who jollier looks,
I'll ask if he knows any good cooks I
OBIE: Oops!! That's Alderman Bumperkopf! All he likes to do
is eat. I don't think he'll help you. (ALDERMAN BUMPERKOPF
approaches Town Hall, looking even more important than
STEMPERNICKEL, and wearing his fancy green cloak in an even
more regal way.)
PIPER (Simply):
I'm hungry, good sir. Could you tell a poor sinner
Where to come by a good hot dinner?
ALDERMAN (Spluttering, pompous) : What's this? How dare you
accost mef
PIPER:
Noodles and beef would be very fine,
But even at soup I won't draw the line !
ALDERMAN : Don't bother me ! We can't be expected to feed every
transient who wanders into Hamelin ! Why don't you go back
where you came from? (With a lordly gesture of his hand.)
Out of my way! (With excessive dignity, he wraps his cloak
around him and sails into the Town Hall.)
OBIE: I tried to tell you !
PIPER:
Back of the mountain in my fair town,
A hungry man is not met with a frown.
To refuse a neighbor is considered a sin.
But here comes someone — I'll ask him !
OBIE : Ooh 1 That's the Mayor. All he likes to do is count his
money. He never helps anyone! (The MAYOR approaches,
looking very important indeed, and carrying his head mighty
high.)
690 THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
PIPER (Simply):
I'm hungry, good sir. Could you tell a poor sinner
Where he could come by a good hot dinner?
MAYOR: Certainly not! I never help beggars! Go to the Charity
League office. . . they look after those things. , . after they've
investigated you! Out of my way. (Throwing his cloak over one
shoulder in a lordly way, he slowly walks into the Town Hall.)
PIPER:
Your fellow townsmen seem to me
To be quite cold and crotchety !
OBIE (Apologetically) : Oh, well, it's just those fellows ! They
don't understand! (He takes a bun out of his pocket.) Here!
Take it!
PIPER:
Thank you, child! By your lief! (Munching.)
This tastes better than any roast beef!
OBIE : Why, it's only a bun, and kind of worn around the edges.
It was my dinner, but if you've traveled so far, you're hungrier
than I am.
PIPER:
From a scanty store you helped a neighbor,
And that gives it a very distinctive flavor!
I won't forget that you've been kind,
Those others in there (Gesturing.) were simply blind
To their neighbor's hunger, and his need,
So they missed a chance to do a good deed.
But a kindness is something I never forget,
And some day I may discharge this debt.
If you're ever in trouble, you shall see,
Just softly repeat, "Piper, come to me!"
(KATRINKA, a woman of the town, rushes in.)
KATRINKA (Pointing to Town Hall) : Is the Mayor in there?
OBIE : Yes, he is.
KATRINKA: And the Aldermen?
OBIE: Yes, but...
KATRINKA (Rushing out) : Good! (Another woman of the town
runs in excitedly.)
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 691
WOMAN : Has Katrinka come yet?
OBIE : She went that way. What's the matter?
WOMAN: You'll see! The whole town's coming! (Voices of a
crowd are heard gradually growing louder.) There! Here they
come! (Three townswomen hurry in excitedly. One carries a
broom; one leads a child.)
IST WOMAN (Indignantly) : Why, we can't sit down to our sup-
per but a rat tries to take the food from our plate! (The PIPER
moves off to one side, observing and listening.)
2ND WOMAN (Angrily) : They're in our cupboards, our cellars,
even our beds ! They're driving us out of house and home !
3RD WOMAN (Excitedly) : Would you believe it, when Father
went to get his Sunday hat to wear to market this morning,
those pesky rats had made a nest in it ! (Two more women come
in and join the group. One carries a mop; two children cling to
the other's skirts.)
4-TH WOMAN: And our good keg of sardines! Rats in it, mind
you!
STH WOMAN : Last night, their squeaking waked us, and there they
were carrying off our candles ! (Two more women run in, their
sleeves tucked up, still carrying brooms and mops as though
they'd left their work hurriedly. They join the group, talking
excitedly.)
IST WOMAN (Shrieking) : Awk! Ouch! Ol , it bit me!
2ND WOMAN (Brandishing broom) : There he goes ! Get him !
(Some of them join in chasing the rat.)
SRD WOMAN (Hopelessly) : What's the use of killing one when
three more spring up in its place? (KATRINKA hurries in, with
two more women. One carries a cardboard sign on a pole, read-
ing "They (a picture of a large rat) must go!" The other wo-
man has a sign reading "DEFINITELY no more Rats!" They
all talk loudly and angrily. KATRINKA mounts the steps and mo-
tions for silence.)
KATRINKA : Neighbors ! Are we going to stand for being eaten out
of house and home?
THE CROWD: No! No!
KATRINKA : It is a question of the rats or us !
THE CROWD: Yes! That's right!
692 THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
KATRINKA : Is there any one of you who hasn't suffered because
of these rodents?
CROWD: No! Not one!
KATRINKA: The men do nothing! They sit and smoke and look
wise, and say it can't be helped !
CROWD: Don't depend on them! They do nothing!
KATRINKA : Neighbors, if we are ever to be rid of the rats, it is up
to us ! We have kept quiet long enough !
CROWD: That's right!
KATRINKA: The Mayor is in there now. (Gesturing to Town
Hall) He is the one who should do something! What do we
pay him for?
CROWD: That's right.
KATRINKA: He makes promises but does nothing. Let him do
something to rid us of the rats. . . or we'll rid of him!
CROWD: We want action! (AIDERMAN BUMPERKOPF sticks his
head out of the door to see what all the noise is about. When he
sees the women he comes forward.)
BUMPERKOPF (Testily) : Here, here, what's all this noise about?
We can't have you women wrangling on the steps of the Town
Hall. Run along home, now! We're having a very important
meeting! Why, how can you expect us to decide on the food for
our annual dinner with all this noise!
KATRINKA: Food for your annual dinner, indeed! What about the
rats in the town? Tell the Mayor we want to see him !
BUMPERKOPF: He couldn't possibly be disturbed!
KATRINKA: You tell him to come out here, and be quick!
BUMPERKOPF (Hesitating) : But — (Some of the women brandish
their brooms at him.)
KATRINKA: And be quick! (BUMPERKOPF goes in hurriedly. In a
moment STEMPERNICKEL comes out.)
STEMPERNICKEL (In a suave, conciliatory tone) : My good women,
the Mayor is busy right now. As a matter of fact, he's in con-
ference.
KATRINKA: You tell the Mayor to come out here, or we'll go in
there. (Two or three women threaten STEMPERNICKEL with
their mops, and he goes in hurriedly. The MAYOR comes out,
and pompously holds up his hand for silence. The ALDERMEN
peep from behind his gown.)
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 693
MAYOR (As though to humor them) : Well, well, what's all this
fuss about, ladies?
KATRINKA: Mr. Mayor, the rats eat us out of house and home.
They're hopping into the cradles nipping at our babies ! They
even bite you on the street !
IST WOMAN : They ate our barrel of sugar !
MAYOR (Unctuously): Well, well, we'll take the matter under
consideration.
KATRINKA: No! You've promised us before and nothing was
done. You say "It can't be helped," or "They'll soon go away."
But they don't go away. One rat brings in his friends and they
set up housekeeping! Things have become so bad we'll soon have
to move out and let the rats have the town !
MAYOR: Right now, I have more weighty matters under consid-
eration, but soon —
KATRINKA : We've had enough promises ! We want action !
CROWD : That's right ! The Mayor should do something ! We want
action !
MAYOR: My good women, don't you think this rat business is
largely imagination? Now, you just all run along back to your
kitchens and forget about them. Act as I do ! You don't see me
fussing about them ! (He suddenly grabs himself and screeches
loudly.) Ouch! Ouch! Awk! Something's biting me ! Why
doesn't somebody do something? (The women beat about with
their mops and brooms and chase the rat.)
IST WOMAN: He's gone.
KATRINKA : Forget them, indeed ! We won't be put off any longer.
Something must be done!
MAYOR (Fussily to STEMPERNICKEL) : Why don't you suggest
something! You're an alderman! But that's the way! Every-
thing's left to me, as if I hadn't enough to do !
STEMPERNICKEL (OUily) : Bumperkopf is your man, your Honor.
He's been an alderman a much longer time than I.
BUMPERKOPF: Well. . . er. . . I've heard of a fine breed of cats
grown in England ! They haven't any tails
KATRINKA: Cats! Might as well suggest Obie's wooden cats.
These rats chase the cats! (The PIPER gradually works his way
through the crowd and now, at the steps, addresses the MAYOR.)
PIPER:
Even though they chew the cats,
694 THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
I can rid you of your rats !
MAYOR: You? And, pray, who are you?
STEMPERNICKEL: Why, he's only a beggar!
BUMPERKOPF : Yes ! He stopped me going into Town Hall.
KATRINKA: If he thinks he can rid us of rats, you'd better listen
to him. We want something done. . . Now!
MAYOR (Hating to condescend to the PIPER) : Well, my good fel-
low, how would you rid us of the rats?
PIPER (Touching his pipe) :
I'd play a little tune,
A simple little tune.
BUMPERKOPF : I told you, your Honor. Just a faker, trying to get
the pennies of the crowd.
PIPER:
A little tune, but a magic tune,
With a charm that comes from behind the moon.
Every creature that hears me play
In spite of himself must do as I say !
MAYOR: You mean to tell me a little tune from that... er...
thing. . . and the rats would do as you willed?
BUMPERKOPF: Not possible!
STEMPERNICKEL : No, else I'd have thought of it.
BUMPERKOPF : He is a cuckoo ! (OsiE, crawling through legs and
around skirts, is at the steps.)
OBIE : Please, your Honor, it won't hurt to let him tiy !
KATRINKA: And remember, you better do something!
MAYOR: Well, you have my permission to try. Not that I think
for a minute.. .
PIPER:
My tunes cost money, Mr. Mayor.
I'll pipe, but you must pay the player.
MAYOR (As though stabbed in the back) : Money ! What do you
mean?
PIPER:
I'll rid you of your rats this very day,
But a thousand pieces of gold is to be my pay.
STEMPERNICKEL: A thousand!
KATRINKA: If he rids us of our rats, it's cheap!
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 695
MAYOR : Well. . . er . . . but a thousand !
KATRINKA : This is not the rime to haggle. We mean to be rid of
the rats. . . or of you!
MAYOR: Well, if he can really do it. ...
PIPER:
I assure you the rats will be gone,
Before you see another dawn.
MAYOR (Ungraciously) : Oh, all right. . . .
PIPER:
So be it then. The bargain is made.
A thousand pieces of gold to be paid !
MAYOR: Yes, yes, only rid us of the rats ! (The PIPER moves to
one side and throws back his dusty cloak, revealing his costume.
Slowly, he lifts the pipe to his lips. An eerie tune is heard, as the
eyes of the crowd are riveted on him. Suddenly, up the street,
there is a queer rustling, which grows louder.)
OBDE: Look! Look! Look! The rats come out of their holes. (All
turn as the rustling grows louder. There are loud squeaks.)
KATRINKA (Excitedly) : Why, they are running down the middle
of the street ! (The PIPER moves off down the street, but the tune
continues.)
IST WOMAN : They run toward the river !
2ND WOMAN : They run so fast they can't stop ! (In the distance
can be heard splashes.)
KATRINKA : Look ! The piper stands by the river bank, and the rats
run into the river 1
IST WOMAN: They'll be drowned!
2ND WOMAN : We'll be rid of the rats !
CROWD: Hurrah! Rid of the rats! Hurrah! Hurrah!
MAYOR (Smugly) : You see there was nothing to raise all this fuss
about. I knew I could get rid of them very quickly once I started
to work on it.
STEMPERNICKEL : Right!
BUMPERKOPF : Right ! (The women and children dance about with
shouts of joy, some of them join hands and dance in a circle.
The PIPER enters, works his way through the crowd to the
steps.)
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
PIPER:
I must be gone and I would like my pay.
Give it to me now, and I'll be on my way.
MAYOR: Pay? Why. . . er. . . what are you talking about?
PIPER :
I kept my promise that before another day,
Your million rats would all be gone away.
MAYOR: The rats? Oh, I guess they are gone, but. . .
KATRINKA: Of course they're gone. Didn't we see them all
drown?
PIPER:
And now, please, my pay,
I must be on my way.
MAYOR : Oh, of course. (He reaches under his gown and fishes out
some coins from his pocket. He picks them over as though reluc-
tant to part with any, then hands the PIPER one.) Here's a pret-
ty gold piece for your music. Anytime you feel like entertaining
the townspeople, come back again.
PIPER:
One gold piece ! But the bargain you made,
Was a thousand pieces here to be paid !
MAYOR (With a forced laugh) : A thousand? Ha! Ha! You joke!
(The crowd murmurs.)
PIPER:
Nevertheless, that was the bargain !
Pay me now. Enough of this jargon!
MAYOR (Wheedling) : But a thousand pieces ! What would a wan-
dering chap like you do with it. Why, someone would rob you !
PIPER:
Keep to your bargain, or I must teach,
I play another tune for those who overreach !
OBIE: Please your Honor, Mr. Mayor, you did promise a thou-
sand pieces, and I'm only a boy, but I know you ought to keep
your word!
MAYOR (Spluttering): The idea! Such impudence!
KATRINKA: Overrun with rats, a thousand pieces seemed cheap.
Keep your bargain !
THE CROWD: Pay him his due!
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 697
MAYOR (Testily) : But the town isn't made of money I We have
to have gold to pay for the council dinners 1 And our wine cellar
is almost empty. . . .
BUMPERKOPF : To say nothing of the treasury ....
PIPER:
Pay what you owe,
And let me go.
MAYOR: It's perfectly ridiculous to pay all that good money for a
little tune!
KATRINKA: You made a bargain. Pay him his money!
MAYOR (Irritably) : My good woman, will you keep out of things
you know nothing about? Why. . . we'd have to float a bond
issue!
OBIE: What's that mean?
IST WOMAN : I think it means — borrow the money from us !
STEMPERNICKEL : A bond issue! Precisely I (Rubbing his hands
together) And let me handle the money. . . .
MAYOR (Trying to intimidate KATRINKA) : A super-redeemable,
non-recoverable, non-bounce-back-able bond issue! And what
would you know about that?
KATRINKA: Nothing. But I know a promise is a promise! (The
MAYOR and the ALDERMEN get in a huddle.)
MAYOR : Anyhow, who is this fellow ? Nobody ! If we give him the
brushoff. . . what can he do about it? Nothing!
STEMPERNICKEL: Right!
BUMPERKOPF: Right!
MAYOR (Righteously to the crowd) : After conferring with my
honored colleagues, we fed it our civic duty not to let the fair
town of Hamelin be robbed in this manner! (The crowd
murmurs.)
KATRINKA: It's cheating!
PIPER:
Till now for your town I have done only good.
You keep to your bargain as you should,
If not, you'll find out only too soon,
The piper plays quite a different tune !
698 THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
MAYOR: You threaten me! Why I'll have you thrown into jail
for vagrancy and obstructing traffic! (The PIPER raises his pipe,
and plays a different tune. He comes down from the steps, goes
slowly off, playing as he goes. At the first note, the children
start as if electrified, then with hands outstretched and a happy
look on their faces, they start off after the PIPER. It is as though
they were drawn by a powerful current, yet one to which they
are willing to submit. Their mothers start to draw them back,
but stand paralysed with hands outstretched and feet raised, as
if far a step, but unable to move.)
IST MOTHER: Tina! Tina! Com* back!
2ND MOTHER: Greta! Greta! (But the children move off after the
PIPER. OBIE stands up and tries to go after them, but he is too
slow with his crutches, and before he can manage, the children
are gone, and the tune has stopped.)
STEMPERNICKEL : They go toward the mountain. Well, they'll
have to come back, for they can't get around that !
KATRINKA : Look ! The side of the mountain opens. They pass in-
side. Now the mountain closes. They are gone! (The mothers
seem to recover from the spell. They start to wail. One sits down
with her apron over her head, another runs toward the mountain,
calling, another goes off to her house weeping, etc.)
KATRINKA (To MAYOR) : This is your fault! If you'd paid what
you rightly owed, he wouldn't have done it !
MOTHERS (Angrily) : No! That's right! It's his fault!
KATRINKA : He broke his word. We don't want such a mayor !
(The women brandish their mops and brooms at him.)
MAYOR (Cowering before the brooms and mops) : But, my good
women, I can explain.... You don't understand finance....
(But the women will not be placated, and the ALDERMEN, gath-
ering their gorgeous gowns about their waists take to their heels,
followed by the MAYOR. He, being fatter, is slower in getting
away, and the women chase him and belabor him with their
brooms. Exit the MAYOR, ALDERMEN and townswomen, run-
ning. Only OBIE is left. He sits on the steps, weeping. After
awhile, he gases toward the mountain.)
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN 699
OBIE : Piper, piper, come to me ! (The PIPER conies in very quietly
and goes up to OBIE, almost before OBIE knows it.)
PIPER:
I was bade of the mountain, far away
I heard you crying, I heard you say,
Piper, piper, come to me,
And I am here, as you can see.
OBIE: Please, Piper, I know the mayor was bad, but. . . you do
like me a little, don't you?
PIPER:
You have a kind and charitable heart
I could see that from the start.
OBIE: Then piper. .. all the mothers are so sad. . . and piper. . .
I'll never have any children to play with as long as I live. . . .
All my friends, Hans and Greta and Tina and Peter. .. all, all,
gone. . . and couldn't you. . . well. . . maybe. . . let them come
back? (The PIPER lifts his pipe to his lips, but before he plays,
he speaks)
PIPER:
Remember, always, this was my song
Love may even overcome wrong.
When I am gone — stand up! Walk! Be free!
Then from your crutches, carve a figure of me !
(The PIPER plays, moving off softly as OBIE looks after him
wonderingly. The sound of the pipe recedes in the distance and
the murmur of children's voices grows louder.)
OBIE: What did he mean? Stand up straight? Be free? (OsiE
tries to stand up and, after a trial or two, finds he can. He takes
a step or two, and he can walk. He waves his crutches over his
head joyously.)
OBIE: Hurrah! Hurrah! (The children begin to run in. One car-
ries an enormous lollipop, a foot wide, over his shoulder. Two
carry very carefully between them, a vine growing, in a pot. Car-
amels grow on it. The mothers, hearing children's voices come
700 TEE PIED PIPER OF EAMELIN
ttt joyjuKy, embrace and kiss them. Sow aU the children
back,*
with gaiety, as the curtain jdls.)
THE END
THE MIXING STICK
by Eleanors Leuser
Characters
MOTHER BROWN
FATHER BROWN
JOHNNY
MARY
FARMER JONES
MRS. JONES
WIDOW POST
BUTCHER
OLD MRS. GOODALL
LAME TOMMY
PEDDLER
SETTING: An old-fashioned kitchen.
TIME: The day before Christmas.
AT RISE : FATHER and MOTHER BROWN are sitting at an almost
empty table.
MOTHER BROWN: Father, it grieves me sorely that there is so
little to eat in the house. If s the day before Christmas, too.
FATHER BROWN: It can't be helped, Mother. It's been a hard
winter. The neighbors are no better off than ourselves.
MOTHER BROWN: It's the children I'm thinking about. I wish
I had something hot and tasty to give them.
FATHER BROWN : I wouldn't say no to it myself. But there . . .
you can't make a rich soup out of a pot of hot water. (A knock
is heard at the door. A cheerful PEDDLER enters without waiting
to be asked. He is carrying a big mixing stick.)
PEDDLER: Good evening, goodwife. Good evening, goodman. I
couldn't help hearing what you said just now. If you'll give
701
702 THE MIXING STICK
me a pot of boiling water I'll show you what can be done
with it
MOTHER BROWN (Rising to show him) : There's a pot half full
of water on the fire, little man. But I don't understand what
good that will be.
PEDDLER (Cheerily) : Don't you worry, good mother. See this
Mixing Stick! (Holding it up) It can make the most delicious
meal you ever tasted. Just leave it all to my Mixing Stick
and me.
FATHER BROWN (Watching the PEDDLER as he starts stirring in
the pot) : I've heard of queer things but stirring hot water . . .
that's the queerest!
PEDDLER (To MOTHER BROWN) : You wouldn't have a pinch of
salt, would you?
MOTHER, BROWN (Handing him some) : Thaf s about all we do
have but you're welcome to it. (JOHNNY and MARY come in
from outdoors all bundled up, each holding an onion.)
JOHNNY: These onions are all we could find, mother. They were
far back in the shed.
PEDDLER (Rubbing his hands) : Onions, you say ... that's fine,
my lad! Just drop them right into the pot. They'll turn into
the tastiest dinner you've ever eaten.
MARY (Looking into the pot): Onions and water! I don't
believe it.
PEDDLER (As he stirs) : It's all in the magic Mixing Stick,
Mary, my girl. Why, when you stir with this stick it makes
a dinner fit for a king.
JOHNNY: Could we go and tell the neighbors about it, sir?
MARY: You see, it's the day before Christmas and they don't
have mueh to eat for tomorrow. They'd be so glad to know
about a Mixing Stick.
PEDDLER: Run along, both of you and tell the neighbors they're
welcome to see what I've got. You might add that if they
THE MIXING STICK 703
bring a bit of what they have I'll see to it that the Mixing
Stick gives it a good flavor. (The CHILDREN run out. The
PEDDLER stirs busily.)
FATHER BROWN (Stepping up to the pot and sniffing) : You
know, Mother, I believe it's beginning to smell good already.
MOTHER BROWN (To PEDDLER) : I wish you'd tell me where to
get a mixing stick like yours, sir. We need it badly around
these parts.
PEDDLER (Mixing and tasting) : The Mixing Stick is only just
beginning to work. You'll really want one when it gets busy.
But if you like what it makes I'll leave you this stick of mine
with the greatest of pleasure. (The NEIGHBORS begin to come
in . . . each carrying something.)
WIDOW POST: Well, Neighbor Brown, the children have been
telling me the news about this Mixing Stick . . * so over I
come with my potatoes. It's potatoes I've been eating for
breakfast and dinner and supper and I'm sick of the sight of
them. If your little man with the stick can give them a different
taste I'll certainly be thankful. Who wants a meal of potatoes
on Christmas Day?
PEDDLER (Taking the potatoes and putting them into the pot) :
Just wait and see what my Mixing Stick can do to a potato.
You'll be more than surprised, Widow Post 1 (He stirs. FARMER
JONES and his wife enter. He is carrying some turnips and she,
a jar of drippings.)
FARMER JONES: We've been hearing about the pot of water and
the Mixing Stick. We thought to ourselves that something like
that is just what we need. So we've brought a few turnips to
see what it does to the flavor. Sure, we've boiled turnips in
water many a time and thankful we are for them, but they get
powerful uninteresting,
MRS. JONES (Giving a great sigh) : It's not much that we have
704 THE MIXING STICK
but some drippings from the pork that was finished It's been
a bad year for us all . . .a bad year !
PEDDLER (Taking turnips and drippings and putting them into
the pot) : Fine . . . Farmer Brown and Mrs. Brown-. I'H
guarantee to give them a flavor that will make your mouths
water. (He stirs and tastes.) Um-m! This stick is wonderful!
It's getting delicious. (THE BUTCHER enters with a large bone)
BUTCHER: What's all this about a magic stick that gives flavors?
I'm always willing to try anything new, especially in a time
when things are so scarce. I brought this bare bone along. If
you can give that a flavor, there's more where it came from.
Maybe I could even find one with a little meat on it.
PEDDLER (Taking bone and dropping it into pot) : Mr. Butcher,
it's amazing what a Mixing Stick can do with a bone. You'll
scarcely believe it. (Enter OLD MOTHER GOODALL with a sprig
of parsley.)
MOTHER GOODALL: The children have been telling me of a magic
mixing stick and what it can do. At first I thought I wouldn't
be coming. I've only this bit of parsley I've been growing in
a little pot in the house. Could you be turning it into something
fit for a Christmas dinner?
PEDDLER (Taking parsley and dropping it into the pot) : Gladly,
gladly, Mother Goodall ! (Tasting) Um-m, the flavor's better
already. It's beyond belief what a Mixing Stick can do to it
(JOHNNY and MARY enter, helping TOMMY who is lame. He
is carrying a few carrots.)
TOMMY: It's not much that I have, sir ... just a few carrots.
But my mother says if you could put a different flavor to them
she'd send you her blessing. We've had carrots in the morning
and carrots at noon and carrots at night, for nothing else grew
in our garden. It's a wonder we don't turn into carrots our-
selves. Yet I can't get around as I ought, to get much of any-
thing else.
THE MIXING STICK
705
PEDDLER (Taking them and putting them into the pot). : Carrots,
is it? Well, now, young sir, it's just the touch the Mixing Stick
needs. They'll be wonderful for the flavor.
MOTHER BROWN (Looking in pot) : Why, the pot is almost
full now.
FATHER BROWN (Sniffing) : It smells better and better.
MRS. JONES : My mouth is beginning to water.
PEDDLER (Tasting) : It's nearly ready.
JOHNNY (Looking in pot) : But how will we ever get our onions
out? I can't even see them.
WIDOW POST (Looking in) : It's the same with the potatoes I
brought. I doubt if I'd recognize them.
PEDDLER (Rubbing his hands gleefully) : Well, now that's the
trick of my Mixing Stick, good neighbors. You don't get just
your own back. Everything is all mixed up together. It tastes
better that way and there's lots more of it. A lone sprig of
parsley doesn't make a good meal. You don't chew a bone to
keep hunger away. Carrots or turnips alone make a poor supper.
So put what you have together, stir with the Mixing Stick and
when it's done you'll find you have enough for all and a dinner
that's good enough for even a Christmas Day. Come, let's taste
of it and see. (MOTHER and FATHER BROWN pass bowls around.
The PEDDLER fills them and all are eating with the appearance
of great satisfaction as the curtain falls,)
THE END
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
by Helen Louise Miller
Characters
A PRINCE, who is a beggar
A PRINCESS, who is a kitchen maid
A BUTLER, who is a villain
A COOK, who is a cook
SETTING : A corner of the Royal Kitchen
AT RISE: The HIGH COOK and the KITCHEN MAID are baking
cookies. The COOK is doing the rolling and cutting while the
KITCHEN MAID is tending to the ovens.
COOK (As she rolls the dough) :
Roly, poly, pudding and pie !
Baking cookies till I die.
Nuts and raisins, sugar and spice —
Roly, poly, mix 'em up nice !
MAID: Why do you say that rhyme every time you roll out a fresh
batch of cookies?
COOK : 'Cause it puts a spell on 'em. Keeps 'em from getting too
rich, or too crumbly, too hard or too soft.
MAID: Then why can't you say a spell that will keep them from
burning when they're in the oven?
COOK: Because that's your job, you wicked girl, and if you let
another panful burn, you'll catch it
MAID (Ruefully) : Don't I know it? I don't see what's the matter
with my nose! I never can smell anything burning until it is
too late.
COOK (Sniffing) : Well, I smell something this very minute. You
better fly.
MAID (Running off stage) : Oh dear, oh dear! In the name of
all the fairy godmothers ! Don't let those cookies burn.
COOK (Looking after her and shaking her head in despair) : A
706
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 707
worthless child if I ever saw one! Not worth her board and
keepl In fact, I don't see why they let her stay in the King's
kitchen. (Shugging her shoulders.) Well, one good thing, she
doesn't eat much. That's a blessing and she does have a sweet
disposition. (Knock at the door.)
COOK (Crossly) : Whoever is there, go away I This is baking day
and we have no time for visitors.
VOICE: Please, please let me in. I've traveled so far and I'm so
hungry.
COOK (Wiping her hands on her apron and approaching the door) :
Indeed, I will not We have nothing in this house for beggars.
VOICE : But I'm not a beggar. I am a prince.
COOK (Scoffing) : A likely story! Princes don't come knocking
at back doors. Go away, or I'll call the guards. (A* the COOK
returns to her work table, the LITTLE MAID enters left carrying
a tray of burned cookies. She is in tears.)
MAID: Oh dear, oh dear, the cookies have burned again. Now I
will be beaten.
COOK: That you will, as soon as the Royal Butler finds out
MAID: Oh dear, kind, gentle cook, please don't tell him this time.
Let's put the cookies in a jar and forget about them.
COOK : I should say not. It was your fault that the cakes burned
and you'll have to pay for it
MAID (Putting her arm around the COOK) : Please, Cook, the
Butler is such a harsh mad and I am so afraid of him. Please.
Didn't you ever have a little girl like me?
COOK (Beginning to relent) : Well — yes, I did have a little girl.
But she wasn't like you — not one bit. She had a nose and an
eye for baking, and she never let the cakes burn.
MAID: But if she had let them bum, you wouldn't have turned
her over to a wicked old Butler to be beaten and locked up in a
dungeon, would you?
COOK: I'm sure I don't know what I would have done. (Bell
rings.) There's the bell calling me to the royal dining-room. See
if you can finish that last batch of cakes.
MAID: And you won't tell the Butler, will you, Cookie?
COOK: Well — not right away. But mind, you be careful of
those cakes.
MAID : Oh, I will— I will. (CooK exits left MAID watches her out
of sight) Now's my chance to get rid of these burned cookies.
I'll dump them right into this old stone jar and no one will ever
708 THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
know. (Dumps cookies into stone jar which is standing on a
nearby cupboard or shelf among other cookie cans and jars.)
Now, I'm safe till someone eats a cookie out of this particular
jar. (Returns to her work.) Oh my, oh me 1 I just love to cook,
even if things do burn. I guess I'll never be a really fancy cook.
I'll just be a plain, everyday cook and make fried potatoes every
night for supper. (Knock at door, right.)
MAID: Someone at the door — just when my hands are full of
flour, and I'm sure there's a smudge on my nose. (Calling)
Who's there?
VOICE: Someone who is tired and hungry. Please let me come in.
MAID (Trying to tidy her dress and hair) : Tired and hungry?
Why, this is the very place to come. This is the King's kitchen
just running over with good things. Come right in. (Opens
door. A stranger enters wrapped in a long dark cloak and wear-
ing a mask. The KITCHEN MAID starts back in terror.)
MAID (Screaming) : Help ! Help ! You're a robber. Take one step
further and I'll hit you over the head with this rolling pin.
(Snatches up rolling pin from table and brandishes it in a threat-
ening manner.)
BEGGAR : Hush ! Hush ! Put down that weapon. I am not a robber.
MAID: If you were an honest man you would not need to hide
your face. Why do you wear a mask?
BEGGAR : Put down that club and I'll tell you.
MAID: It's not a club. It's a rolling pin.
BEGGAR : Anyhow it's a mighty dangerous looking weapon.
MAID : If you swear that you are not a robber, I'll put it down.
BEGGAR: What shall I swear by?
MAID: Swear by your sacred honor and the great homed spoon.
BEGGAR (Raising his right hand) : Very well. I swear by my sa-
cred honor and the great horned spoon that I am not a robber
Now, are you satisfied?
MAID: I guess so. But if you are not a robber, who are you?
BEGGAR : I told you — someone who is tired and very hungry.
MAID : Oh, I know. You are a beggar.
BEGGAR (In disgust) : No, I am not a beggar. Though I grant
you, I must look very much like one.
MAID: If you are not a beggar and not a robber, who are you?
BEGGAR: For goodness sakes, child, what sort of girl are you?
Do you think all men are either beggars or robbers ?
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 709
MAID : No, but you have aroused my curiosity.
BEGGAR: Please find me something to eat, and maybe I can satisfy
your curiosity. (Seats himself at table.)
MAID: How would you like some cookies and a glass of milk?
BEGGAR: That would just suit me fine. (MAID gets glass of mUk
and points out the supply of cookies.)
MAID: Just help yourself to the cookies. We have any kind you
want — sugar cookies, hermits, brownies, sand tarts, ginger
snaps, vanilla wafers, macaroons — take your pick.
BEGGAR (Selecting the stone jar containing the burned cookies) :
I'd like to have some out of this jar.
MAID (Alarmed) : Oh, I wouldn't take those if I were you.
BEGGAR: Why not? Aren't they good?
MAID : Not very . . . You see ... I burned them.
BEGGAR: But why did you put them in a cookie jar? Who wants
to eat burned cookies ?
MAID: I know I should not have done it, but I'm always letting
the cookies burn and the Royal Butler beats me.
BEGGAR: Why aren't you more careful?
MAID: I don't know. It seems to be my nose. That's the third
batch I've burned today just because I couldn't smell them burn-
ing. I don't want to be caught again.
BEGGAR : You're a strange sort of child to be a kitchen maid.
MAID : I am afraid I am not a very good one. Maybe I'd do bet-
ter if I were happier.
BEGGAR: Don't they treat you kindly?
MAID: Oh, no, sir. I never hear a kind word except from the
cook. She is better to me than all the rest. I guess she feels
sorry for me.
BEGGAR: Did you always live here and work in the kitchen?
MAID (Doubtfully) : I don't quite remember. Sometimes I can
remember playing in a beautiful garden and sleeping in a little
gold bed. There was a lovely lady who sang to me and tucked
me in bed at night.
BEGGAR : Strange how you came to be a kitchen maid.
MAID ; The Royal Butler brought me here. Before he was a but-
ler he used to be a peddler and I used to travel around with him
and dance for pennies. When he got this job here, I became a
kitchen maid. But he was always cruel to me.
BEGGAR: You should run away if he treats you so badly.
MAID: Where would I go? Here I have a roof over my head and
Dlentv of cookies to eat
710 THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
BEGGAR: Why do you bake so many cookies? The place is full
of them.
MAID: Oh, we are always baking them for the prince. (Confiden-
tially) I call him the "Pig Prince" because he eats so many.
BEGGAR: Have you ever seen him — the prince, I mean?
MAID: Dear me, no. But I hear he is a homely youth and not
over-bright
BEGGAR: Indeed! Who told you that?
MAID: Oh, the Butler and the houseboy. Cook thinks he's won-
derful, but that* s only because she took care of him when he
was a baby.
COOK (Entering left very much excited): Child! Child! Good
gracious sakes alive! Oh, my stars and shoestrings! There is
such excitement in the palace.
MAID: What in the world is the matter?
COOK : The prince is gone. Kidnapped he is. Carried off by two
woodsmen and held for ransom.
MAID (Clapping her hands): .Goody! Goody! Now we won't
have to bake any more cookies.
COOK (Shaking her) : Why, you wicked, wicked girl. I'm sorry
I didn't tell the Royal Butler on you. The prince is wise and
good. This is a terrible day for our kingdom.
BEGGAR: Where did you hear this news?
COOK : The palace is ringing with it. (Suddenly remembering her
conversation with the BEGGAR.) And by the way, how did you
get in here? Aren't you the fellow who knocked at the door a
few minutes ago?
BEGGAR: The very one. The little maid invited me inside and gave
me a glass of milk.
COOK : Then out you go, and 111 box her ears for giving away the
King's stores.
BEGGAR (Rising) : I thought you were a woman with a kind heart.
COOK: My heart is kind enough but there is no room in my
kitchen for a man who wears a mask.
BEGGAR: Then I will take it off. (He does so, disclosing himself
to be the PRINCE. The COOK falls to her knees.)
COOK: Your gracious Highness! (To MAID) To your knees, girl.
This is our noble Prince !
MAID (Embarrassed) : Oh, sire, forgive me for calling you a Pig
Prince. I'm so ashamed.
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 711
BEGGAR: I have no time to be angry. I'm too busy being kid-
napped. Rise, both of you, you will have to help me.
MAID : Are you in any danger ?
BEGGAR: No, not yet. I overheard the villain plotting with my
uncle, the king, to carry me off and murder me in the forest.
But I escaped in time. I've been wandering through the hills
till I got so hungry for cookies I just had to come home. I
thought no one would think of looking for me in our own
kitchen.
COOK: How can we help you, Sire?
BEGGAR: It is that Butler who is plotting'against me. He and my
uncle want to get rid of me and divide the kingdom between
them. But I have no actual proof of this. What I need to do
is get a confession out of the Butler. We have no time to lose.
MAID (Picking up cake turner and rolling pin) : These are our
only weapons, sir, but we're willing to fight.
BEGGAR: We won't need them. I have a better plan.
MAID: Then tell us. I know I'll make a better detective than a
kitchen maid.
BEGGAR: We'll catch him with the magic cookie jar.
MAID: But there isn't such a thing.
BEGGAR: Yes there is — right here on this table. (Points to jar
with burned cookies.) My mother had this made when I was a
little boy. Don't you remember, Cook?
COOK: Land sakes! I had forgotten that!
MAID: But why, why did your mother do such a strange thing?
BEGGAR: Well, you see, I was always so hungry for cookies that
I ate more than were good for me. And worse than that, when
Cook and Mother refused to give me any more, I used to watch
my chance and sneak out here and help myself.
MAID: Why, that was stealing!
BEGGAR: I never thought so, but Mother did, so she had the magic
cookie jar made to teach me a lesson.
MAID: I see nothing strange about it. What is the magic?
BEGGAR: Well, I don't know if it is still in working order. But
we can try.
MAID: How?
BEGGAR : Reach in and get a cookie.
MAID (Following his orders) : I have one. Now what?
BEGGAR: Remove the cookie from the jar.
712 THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
MAID: Why — I can't. I can't Something is holding fast to my
arm. I can't get it out of the jar.
BEGGAR: Of course you can't. That's the magic. When I was a
child it used to hold me prisoner till Mother or Cook came and
caught me in the act.
MAID : Now that you have seen that your magic is working, make
it let go of me.
BEGGAR: Oh, I can't. You have to do that yourself.
MAID (Struggling) : But I can't I can't Please, dear Prince, it's
hurting me.
BEGGAR: And it will go right on hurting till you confess what
mischief you've been up to during the last 24 hours.
MAID : I haven't been up to any. Ouch ! Ouch ! It's pinching me !
BEGGAR (Laughing) : Don't I know it? It used to pinch me too
when I tried telling Mother I had been a little angel for the last
twenty-four hours. You better make a clean breast of all your
crimes.
COOK: Dear me, this old jar reminds me of old times. Do you
remember, Your Highness, how it made you confess putting a
turtle in the Royal Chancellor's bed?
BEGGAR: I should say I do. Well, little girl, are you going to stay
there all day, or are you going to confess your misdeeds ?
MAID: Oh dear I I guess I'll have to. You might as well know,
Cook, that when your back was turned I hid the burned cookies
in this very jar.
COOK : Why, you naughty child !
MAID (Attempting to release herself) : Say, this magic isn't work-
ing. I can't get loose even now.
BEGGAR : That means you haven't told all.
MAID : Oh dear, oh dear. Now cook, you will be cross with me.
But I guess I'll have to tell. I filled all the sugar boxes with
salt this morning so that all your baking will turn out salt cookies
instead of sugar cookies.
COOK: You just wait, young lady, till the Royal Butler catches
you this time. I won't lift a finger to save you.
MAID (Getting her arm out of the jar) : Oh, it is good to be free
again. And you can bet your life I'll behave myself in this
kitchen from now on. Why, there's no telling what magic is
working here. I wouldn't be surprised if the pots and pans and
even the rolling pin are enchanted.
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 713
BEGGAR : Now that I am sure the magic ^jar is working, we are
ready to catch the Royal Butler. All we need to do is to get him
to stick his hand in that jar, and we have him.
MAID: That should be easy. This is his day to inspect the kitchen.
He should be coming here any minute now.
COOK : But he doesn't like cookies. Never touches them.
BEGGAR: IH take care of that Leave everything to me. Hand
me the jar, and I will prepare the bait (Throws a handful of
gold coins into the magic far.) When he catches the glitter of
these coins, he will be sure to grab for them. Now, Cook, our
trap is set. You may call the butler.
COOK : At once, Your Highness. (Exit COOK.)
MAID: Oh, I'm so excited! Do you really think we'll catch him?
BEGGAR: Certainly, if we are patient Now fill my plate with
cookies, and then go about your work as if nothing is happen-
ing. I'll adjust my mask. (Replaces mask.)
Cook (To BUTLER as they enter left) : I trust everything will meet
with your approval. Of course, we have been baking and things
are a trifle upset
BUTLER (Gruffly) : Don't worry. I'll let you know soon enough
if things are not to my liking. (Catching sight of KITCHEN
MAID) And if that flighty kitchen maid has burned any more
cakes, I'll have her thrown into a dungeon. (Sees BEGGAR calm-
ly eating cakes at the table.) Ho, Ho, Sir, who are you, and
what are you doing here?
BEGGAR: Just a poor beggar, sir, who has been given a place at
the king's table.
BUTLER: So! And who has the right to give away the king's
stores ?
MAID (Bravely) : I said he might sit down for a moment and.have
a bite to eat He was so tired and looked so hungry. He has
traveled a long way.
BUTLER (In a rage) : You — you — a serving maid ! No better
than a beggar yourself ! It is not your place to offer food to
others. (Sniffs.) And what is worse, I smell something burn-
ing. Cook, did this miserable girl burn any more cakes?
COOK : Well, I really couldn't say, sir.
BUTLER: Oh, you couldn't I Well, I can. She has burned the
cakes and she will be thrown into the dungeon as soon as she
has had a good beating. (He reaches for the MAID who runs to
COOK for protection.)
714 THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
MAID: Oh, no, no, no! There are rats in the dungeon and I am
so afraid of rats.
BEGGAR (Mildly) : You seem a harsh sort of fellow.
BUTLER (Fastening his attention on the BEGGAR) : Oh, I do, do I ?
Well, you worthless beggar, 1*11 soon show you just how harsh
I can be. There is a law against beggars in this kingdom, and
it is especially severe to those who do not show their faces. I am
going to have you locked up in the tower this very, minute.
BEGGAR (Pretending to bite on something hard in the cake he is
eating. He jumps up, holding his jaw) : Ouch ! Say, what kind
of cookies do you people bake in this kitchen? Why, I've almost
broken my tooth on a stone.
COOK (Indignantly) : Faith and there are no stones in my cakes !
BUTLER: Serves you right if you've broken your whole jaw. And
you'll be glad enough to chew on stones after you've been in the
tower for a while on a good round diet of air and water.
MAID (Inspecting what the BEGGAR is holding in his hand) : But
— but — it isn't a rock — it's a gold piece!
BEGGAR : Girl, where did you get those cookies ?
MAID (Pointing to magic jar) : Out of that blue jar, sir.
BUTLER: What nonsense is this? (In surprise) Why it is a gold
piece, and no mistake. Where did this come from? Answer me.
COOK : Out of our oven, sir. We baked 'em this morning.
MAID : She speaks the truth. You see I did burn some cookies and
hid them in that stone jar. Then when this beggar came along,
I offered him some of the burned cookies and you can see for
yourself what happened.
BEGGAR : That must be the magic cookie jar I have heard so much
about.
BUTTER: What have you heard about it?
BEGGAR : Oh, I'd be afraid to tell, sir. You'd have me thrown out
for a fool and a liar.
BUTLER : Answer me or I'll call the guards.
BEGGAR: In that case, sir, I'll tell you all I know. I have heard
tell of a magic cookie jar that turns ordinary sugar cookies into
ten-dollar gold pieces, and if the cookies chance to be burned
they are changed into twenty-dollar gold pieces. Of course, I
never really believed it until now.
COOK (Opening jar and peering inside) : Faith and I can see
something that glitters like gold coins.
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 715
BUTLER (Pushing her away from the jar) : Stand back, woman.
Let me look. Why, there is gold in that jar — handf ids of gold
— a fortune ! (Reaches in.)
MAID (Jumping up and down) : Let me see. Let me see.
BUTLER : Just a minute. My hand seems to be caught.
BEGGAR (Smiling) : Maybe you were too greedy for the gold.
BUTLER (Struggling) : Is this a trick? I can't get my hand out
of this jar.
BEGGAR (Shrugging his shoulders): Think of that! The royal
butler can't get his big fist out of the cookie jar.
BUTLER: But when I do, you'll feel the weight of it, you can de-
pend on that
MAID (Sticking out her tongue) : Even I am not afraid of you,
now!
BUTLER: You let me out of here. Ill call the guards and have
you all ground to mincemeat.
COOK: You're such a tough old critter, you wouldn't make mince-
meat fit for a decent pie.
BUTLER : You impudent old wretch ! I'll have you put in irons.
COOK : Not till you get loose from that jar, you won't
BUTLER (To BEGGAR) : You have something to do with this, you
rogue.
BEGGAR: Easy, easy on the harsh words. You should be more
polite to your prince. (Removes mask.)
BUTLER (In amazement) : The Prince! How did you get here?
PRINCE : Aha ! You thought I had fallen victim to your evil plans.
Well, I fooled you, and now you are going to tell me all about
those plans, and this little lady is going to write down every-
thing you say.
MAID: Wait till I get paper and pencil. (Exits.)
BUTLER: You can't prove a thing against me. I have always been
a faithful servant
PRINCE: That is what I thought until now. But your story of
today will make interesting reading in the courts.
BUTLER: What makes you think I'll talk?
PRINCE : You are not in a very comfortable position, Mr. Butler.
After a while, your arm will begin to ache, and your back will
begin to ache, and your legs will ache. And in a day or so, the
ache will grow beyond all endurance. In fact, if you stay there
long enough, you'll die from weakness, hunger, thirst and
exhaustion.
716 THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
BUTLER: You're talking nonsense. I can get free from this jar
any time I like.
PRINCE: How?
BUTLER: By calling the guards.
PRINCE: Then I should certainly call them if I were in your place.
BUTLER: I will. (Shouting) Guards! Guards! Help! Help!
Guards! Guards! (Silence.)
BUTLER (After a pause) : Where are they?
PRINCE: Out looking for me. They think I am kidnapped, and
like loyal subjects they have gone to search for me. There is
no one to help you.
MAID (Reentering left) : I am ready to write down his confession.
BUTLER : But I am not ready to make any. I have done nothing to
confess. Ouch ! Ouch ! Oooh ! Something's pinching me. Ouch !
Ouch!
MAID (Giggling) : Isn't it awful? That's just the way it pinched
me when I told a fib. And it will go right on pinching and pinch-
ing. You better confess before you are black and blue.
PRINCE: She knows what she is talking about. You better talk.
BUTLER: Ouch! Ouch! All right. Ouch! What do you want to
know?
PRINCE: Your plans for my kidnapping.
BUTLER: They were simple enough. The king and I planned to
kill you and divide the kingdom between us.
PRINCE: I thought so. (To MAID now acting as stenographer) Do
you have that down in black and white ?
MAID : Every word.
BEGGAR : That's all I want. With this paper, I can force the king
to give up his throne, drive this fellow out, and the kingdom
will be mine.
COOK : Oh, your Highness, I am so happy for you.
BUTLER: Why can't I get loose from this infernal contraption?
BEGGAR : Probably because you have not told all your secrets. '
COOK: Yes, I know he has something else to tell — something
about this child here. She is not his daughter. Where did you
get this little girl?
BUTLER : I found her on my doorstep when she was a tiny baby
and I have cared for her ever since. Ouch! Ouch! Murder!
Help ! My arm is breaking.
PRINCE : Now maybe you will stop inventing fairy tales.
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR 717
BUTLER: If you must know, I stole her from the palace garden
when she was two years old.
COOK: And kept her for your slave, you villain.
PRINCE : Then she is not a kitchen maid, but a princess.
BUTLER: Your sister, in fact.
PRINCE: My sister. But we had given her up for dead.
MAID : Do you mean I am a really, truly princess ?
PRINCE: Of course you are. No wonder you were such a poor
kitchen maid. A royal princess seldom has a talent for baking.
COOK : Indeed, I'll be sorry to lose you in my kitchen, even if you
did let the cakes burn.
MAID: Then I won't leave you. You must move into the palace
with me and be my companion.
COOK : Oh thank you, thank you.
BEGGAR: Oh ho, we have almost forgotten this fellow. What is
to be done with him?
COOK : Hanging is almost too good for him.
MAID: Oh, I know — the very thing.
PRINCE: I hope it is something black and awful.
MAID: It is. Let's make him eat every one of those burned
cookies — every single one.
BEGGAR: A capital idea.
BUTLER : No, no — anything but that. Spare me. Spare me. Help !
Help! (The three close in around the BUTLER and douse his
head in the cookie jar as the curtain falls on his futile cries for
help.)
THE END
THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY
COUSIN
by Violet Muse
Characters
MA MOUSE, the frowsy Country Cousin
His ELEGANCE, the Honorable Town Mouse
SQUEAKY MOUSE, Ma's eldest child, who is very talkative and
takes his squeaking seriously
TEENEY MOUSE, M cfs baby
His HONOR, the Mayor of Haughtytown
MARY, the Mayor's cantankerous maid-of-all^work
POUNCER, the Mayor's cat
SMELLER, the Mayor's ]ox terrier
SCENE 1
SETTING : A sunshiny corner of an old barn, back of the corn crib.
AT RISE: TEENEY is peering through cracks and holes for prob-
able cats. SQUEAKY is industriously sweeping cobwebs down
from the walls with corn-husk broom.
SQUEAKY (Calling offstage through a knot-hole) : Ma, is His
Elegance, the Mayor's Mouse, really coming to see us, his coun-
try cousins?
MA (Calling as she approaches) : Yes, yes, hurry! He's really
coming! (MA MOUSE runs in, fussily.)
TEENEY (Dancing up and down) : Eek, eek ! His Honor, the
Mayor's Mouse ! Shall we put on style and take off our aprons,
Ma? (MA nods, and TEENEY throws his apron in the corner.
Ma seises a bacon rind and rubs down his fur with if.) Does he
look like me?
MA: Why, I should say not! (Peering at her baby mouse.) Well,
of course, there may be some resemblance about the nose and
eyes, but since he left the country and went into society you
would hardly know we belong to the same family. Why, he will
probably be wearing a frock coat with fancy white vest, and an
opera hat, no doubt!
718
THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN 719
MICE: Eek, eek! An opera hat!
MA: Of course, for the Mayor's ceremonies! How could he lay
cornerstones without an opera hat? And I am sure in his fancy
vest he will have two gold watches.
TEENEY: Two watches — what for?
SQUEAKY (Giggling and squeaking) : So he will have twice as
much time to escape from the cats ! (Merrily the little MICE
dance about.)
MA (Catching and shaking them) : No more of this f riskiness, I
say! If your honorable cousin wears two watches, it's because
it's the style. Enough of the giggling! Wash your paws and
whiskers and get ready for dinner.
MICE: O. K, Ma. (They wash themselves and grease themselves
with bacon rinds near a peep hole.)
MA (Pointing to the feast on the floor) : Beans and bacon, cheese
and corn. But what shall I do for dessert? Squeaky, didn't the
hired girl bake those puddings? (An aeroplane is heard over the
darn.)
SQUEAKY: Eek, eek, Ma, she was too busy. Whiskers Field-
Mouse told me she had been threshing in the field all day !
MA (Wringing her paws) : Oh, what shall I do without pudding
for breakfast? Why, the Mayor's Mouse can't eat without pud-
ding for breakfast ! Oh, oh ! (A loud knocking f three times re-
peated, is heard and the MICE are frightened. MA flings her
apron into the comer.) Tis himself, the Honorable Mayor's
Mouse! That's his same secret knock. Sh! (The pounding with
walking stick is repeated at the crack.) Coming, your Honor,
coming. (She putts open the burlap sacking at the crack and
curtseys to the MAYOR'S MOUSE. His sleek nose bears Oxford
glasses, and he holds aloft his opera hat and swings his cane
grandly. In the pockets of his elegant waistcoat dangle two
watches.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Shaking her hand gingerly) : How are you, my
good cousin? You will pardon my gloves? It's good to see you
after all these years. We often speak of you at the Mayor's
house!
MA (Blushing gratefully and hanging her head) : Go along now,
your Honor! I never reckoned you would remember me, but
we sure are glad to see you back with hardly a scar on you! Sit
down. Just make yourself at home. We didn't go to any extra
trouble for you!
720 THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Sitting on the cushion which SQUEAKY
brings) : Ah, well if you insist, perhaps I could take a nibble.
These plane rides do whet one's appetite, don't you think?
Beans, ugh! (He nibbles one, and pushes it away.)
MA AND MICE: Plane ride? Plane ride?
MAYOR'S MOUSE: Ah, yes, I travel by that means of locomotion.
It saves a mouse's time, don't you think? (He looks at his two
watches with a grand flourish.)
MA : Yes, it saves a mouse's time ! That's what I always told my
mice! (SQUEAKY pushes rinds to the guest.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE: What? Bacon rinds! (He yawns.) Garbage!
(He holds his nose.) Well, my good cousin, how are times
about here?
MA (Bashfully ducking her head) : Well, I am able to get about,
your Elegance. Often we go visiting the Field-Mice. Remember
Butch Field-Mouse? The sparrow-hawk caught him just yester-
day! Isn't it sad? (The MICE squeak sadly.) Then sometimes
we go down the lane and take a bacon rind to our cousins, the
Church-Mice — poor things !
MAYOR'S MOUSE: Ah, yes, poor things! (Bored.) Remind me be-
fore I go to send them a donation. (SQUEAKY tries to win his at-
tention by passing him the cheese rinds, which he waves away
grandly.) I never eat anything but Roquefort cheese. (He
jumps up impatiently.)
MA (Ashamed) : Well, our food is coarse, but there is always
plenty, sir.
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Pacing about and peering through his glasses) :
Upon my word, I do not see how you can stand it. No steam
heat — no desserts — and no aeroplanes ! Why, you are wasting
your time here miserably. A mouse, you know, does not live
forever !
MICE: That's right, Ma. We mice must make the most of our
time!
MA: I have reached a ripe old age of two years here, and Heaven
knows I have done my duty by all eight of my families to raise
them as peace-loving citizens. Why, I have fifty children living
today, and some two hundred grandchildren! What Town
Mouse can say that?
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Smiling behind his hand) : Ha, quite a record!
Your cats and dogs must have taken the sleeping sickness — ha,
THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN 721
ha! (He pulls out his watches.) Ah, cousin, return with me to
town for a visit, and I shall show you life as it should be lived —
graceful mice dancing over polished floors with nimble toes, like
this! (He dances mincingly about.) And you shall hear mice
speaking in refined voices, like this! (He speaks affectedly.)
And all mice wear glazed fur coats, and two watches !
MA (Ashamed) : Aw, do you think I would look all right, your
Honor?
MICE (Blissfully) : You look O.K., Ma. We'll go along!
MA (Fussily) : About my fur, sir. Perhaps I could have the mice
slick it down with bacon rinds ! (The MICE start for the rinds.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Waving his paws) : Don't trouble yourself, my
good woman. The odor of bacon would draw the dogs, and we
have plenty of pomade for rubbing down our fur, at the Mayor's
house.
SQUEAKY: Ma, I want two watches — I want two ... (MA
smothers his squeaking with her paw over his mouth.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE : Pray, release him, good woman. He shall have
two watches. The Mayor is giving a banquet tonight for the
councilmen, with an opera party afterward. We will arrive about
midnight and do our feasting before the Mayor's return.
TEENEY: Ma, I need some Roquefort cheese! (His MA slaps
him.)
SQUEAKY : Ma, I need two watches ! (She tries to silence him, but
he escapes to a knot-hole and safety.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE: Bless their little hearts! They shall have their
Roquefort cheese and two watches.
MA : Squeaky, bring my sunbonnet and shawl I We shall go to the
city and live at the Mayor's house in style. Teeney, where did
you drag off my umbrella to? And my rubbers?
TEENEY: I'll find them if you'll let me have two watches, Ma!
(She shakes him.)
MA: Not another squeak out of you! (SQUEAKY helps her with
her sunbonnet.) Oh, I have forgotten my manners, Squeaky.
Run bring His Elegance his gloves and hat first. (The MAYOR'S
MOUSE waits grandly, nose in air.) You must know, cousin, I
have taught my children manners, but they have no ckances to
practice their social graces. That's the reason I want to move to
town, so they may have social advantages. (TEENEY helps
SQUEAKY bring in the gloves and cane.)
722 THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Starting for the crack) : Come, my pilot has
started my plane ! Follow me, mice ! (All follow him out, shout-
ing) To the Mayor's house!
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: The elegant dining room of the MAYOR OF HAUGHTY-
TOWN.
AT RISE : On the table scraps of fancy cakes, candied almonds, and
Roquefort cheese reveal the tempting remains of a splendid feast.
A plane roars away overhead, and the COUNTRY COUSIN enters
along with the MAYOR'S MOUSE. The MICE follow, joyously.
TEENEY is trying to slick down MA'S fur with cleansing cream,
now. SQUEAKY is enjoying two watches which he dangles from
the pockets of a fancy vest.
MAYOR'S MOUSE (With a finger to his mouth as he tiptoes to the
MAYOR'S chair) : Sh! Sh! It isn't good form in town to gnaw
before entering a room. The Safety Council for Town Mice con-
siders it more polite to take a cautious look about before an-
nouncing one's presence. Sh! All's safe now! Come! (He pulls
out the MAYOR'S chair for MA.) Won't you be seated, Cousin?
Try the Mayor's chair!
MA (Squeaking her fright) : Suppose he comes back and finds me
in his chair? (The MICE squeak, terrified.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Shrugging his shoulders as he glances, at his
watches) : Compose yourself, my good Cousin. I am a trained
listener. Now here is the Mayor's lace napkin. You might tuck it
under your chin.
MA (As she and the MICE tuck in their napkins) : Oh, yes, your
Honor, I have always warned my children about dripping on
their whiskers, haven't I?
THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN 723
MICE: Yes, indeed.
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Passing her a disk of sweets) : Now, Cousin,
try some of these candied almonds. I can't eat them myself unless
they are freshly toasted, but perhaps you can digest them!
MA (Smacking her lips) : Yum-m ! These are fine. They certainly
do beat hickory nuts ! If you can spare some, I'll just slip a few
into my pocket for a rainy day. (She does, and the MICE mimic
her.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Stroking his whiskers and raising his brows in
horror) : In town we never smack our lips when we eat, and
surely you are not going to carry food away from the table I
That simply isn't done! (The COUNTRY MOUSE looks ashamed.)
Why don't you move to town for gpod, where the mice will be
raised with social graces? I could use my influence for them,
you know! (He dances affectedly, and the MICE attempt to do
the same, but step on his tail, ending the dance.)
SQUEAKY: Yes, Ma, we mice must make the most of our time!
(He jingles his watches.) Ma, get me an opera hat !
TEENEY: Ma, I need an aeroplane! I need Roquefort cheese!
I need —
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Waving his paws grandly) : Oh, of course,
Cousin, I'll buy them an aeroplane, and only Roquefort cheese
shall be served! Now, try some of this pecan cake.
MA : Why, land ! It's the most elegant food I ever tasted — though
I reckon I shouldn't let anyone hear me say that?
MAYOR'S MOUSE: Pray, don't! It would injure my social position
terribly with the other mice, you know. They were practically all
born with silver spoons in their mouths, as the saying goes. (A
faint barking is heard in the distance, and he freezes in his place,
and starts trembling.)
MA: Upon my honor, I had no idea mice could be so elegant! (She
pays no attention to the barking.) I wonder now, Cousin, how I
could have stood the country now, the eternal beans and bacon,
the mouse-trap cheese ! No dainties, no steam heat, no aeroplanes
to save a mouse's time!
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Quaking with fear)': Sh! Hush, Cousin! Did
you hear a — something? For instance, a dog?
MA (Simply) : A dog? Upon my honor, dogs do very well at
herding the cattle.
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Looking for a place to hide) : Not this dog 1 I
724 THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN
forgot to mention it, but the Mayor has a rat terrier. I smell him
coming ! Flee for your lives ! (He runs out the door.)
MA (Scampering with her MICE behind her, to the shelter of the
draperies) : Oh, my poor children ! Oh, my two hundred grand-
children! Oh, for my country home! (A jox terrier, SMELLER,
races in at the door, sniffing the floor and tracking the MICE
nearly to their hide-out, barking furiously. Suddenly the MAY-
OR'S voice booms from the living-room. "Here, Smeller, here,
Smeller!" SMELLER leaves with a whine, importantly wagging
his tail.)
MA (Coining out of hiding, followed by the others) : My land, but
that pup gave me a start! Does he always carry on so?
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Slyly) : Oh, no ! When he has time to carry out
his designs he is deadly quiet. Sometimes the Mayor whistles
him back just in time!
MA : In time for what?
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Waving his paws grandly now that he has re-
gained his courage) : Ah, what does that matter! Now, on with
the feast! Try some of these after-dinner mints, Cousin — they
are so fragrant for a mouse's breath! (He hears footsteps in the
distance, and cringes.)
MA (Paying no heed to the footsteps, nibbles the mint daintily) :
Delicious! Why, they taste just like the mint bed! (The MICE
grab a mint, and sigh happily as they nibble.) Ah, Cousin, it is
so restful here amid all these pleasant smells, so peaceful and
comfortable. Why do not all mice come to the city and learn
social graces? (The MAYOR'S MOUSE and the others have scam-
pered to hide in the draperies again, and with a wild squeak she
follows them, as the MAYOR enters the door with MARY.)
MAYOR : Now, Mary, this is the last time I want this to happen.
The next time I have a banquet and you take your night out,
you are to clean up the table when you return, understand?
MARY : Yes, sir. For sure I do, sir !
MAYOR: Smeller surely smelled a mouse about the dining room,
judging from the barking. Set the traps, Mary, and leave the cat
inside tonight. That will be enough. Good night !
MARY: Good night, sir. For sure it's the trap I'll be setting! (She
shuffles back into the kitchen.)
MA (Darting out of her hiding-place) : Quick, bring my sunbon-
net, Squeaky ! Teeney, my umbrella !
THE TOWN MOUSE AND HIS COUNTRY COUSIN 725
SQUEAKY (Shivering his terror) : O.K., Ma — let's scamper! (The
MICE leave to get her wraps.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE (Creeping in on tiptoe) : What, Cousin, going so
soon? (He looks at his two watches.) We have plenty of time
for feasting!
MA : Thanks, Your Elegance, but we must hurry along now. (She
puts on the shawl that SQUEAKY brings her.) Perhaps we can
drop in another day, when there is more time !
MAYOR'S MOUSE : But what of the Mice, poor dears ! Don't you
want them raised in an elegant manner? (The MICE squeak
their terror, and MA takes their paws as she turns to say good-
bye.)
MA : No, my honored Cousin, I have learned my lesson. The only
atmosphere I want them used to is healthy days of sunshine and
nights of peace in the country. "Better beans and bacon in peace,
than cake and candy in fear." Good-bye !
SQUEAKY (Quickly returning the two watches) : Here, Your El-
egance ! Perhaps you might like these to give a town mouse. In
the country we tell time by the sun. Good-bye!
TEENEY (Placing before the MAYOR'S MOUSE the candied almonds
from his pocket, and a scrap of Roquefort cheese) : Good-bye,
sir. Your cheese and almonds would he O.K. if one had time to
eat them ! (He waves, as MA jerks him forward and scampers
away with him. The MAYOR'S MOUSE stands with his back to the
kitchen door, waving sadly.)
MAYOR'S MOUSE: Bon voyage, Cousin! Happy landing!
MA : Come and see us some time. Good luck with the traps — and
the cat! (She goes off with the MICE. The cook appears back of
the sad MAYOR'S MOUSE, holding the cat, and pointing to the
elegant mouse. POUNCER, with a great, "Meo-tiw!" crouches and
springs. The MAYOR'S MOUSE is fast caught between the paws of
the cat, who is just ready to gobble down the MAYOR'S MOUSE,
as the curtain falls.)
THE END
HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH
by Elsi Rowland
Characters
HENRIK, a -farmer
NILS SNEEDORFF, another farmer
MARIA, who sells eggs
FRU BEEK, a housewife
JOHAN KOELLER, the schoolmaster
HANS STRUH, the hero
PEDER JESSON, a soldier
GERTRUDE, the Palace cook
A PAGE
THE FAIRY GODMOTHER OF THE PRINCESS
A STREET SWEEPER
PRINCESS DAGMAR
HER ATTENDANT
TOWNSPEOPLE, ETC.
OSCAR, the dog
SCENE 1
SETTING: A market place, a scene of bustle and animation.
AT RISE : Everyone is calling his wares at the same time.
HENRIK: Apples! Grapes! Greens! Watercress! •'
MARIA : Eggs ! Fresh eggs ! A krone a dozen ! Fine ripe cheeses !
NILS: Pigs for sale! Pigs for sale! As pretty little porkers as
you ever saw. (FRU BEEK stops to examine the pigs.)
FRU BEEK : Those pigs are nicely fatted, Nils. They should bring
a good price.
NILS : I hope to sell one of them, at least, to the cook at the Pal-
ace. Every market day she comes out to buy. She will be here
soon.
MARIA : She always buys her eggs from me. I have some saved
for her, all laid by my good hen, Juliana. (Enter HANS with a
726
HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH 727
basket on his arm. He is a wit-less looking boy, wearing a red
wig.)
HANS: Fesh frish! Fesh frish! (To FRU BEEK) Would you like
some frish?
FRU BEEK : Let me see what you have.
HANS : I caught them all this morning. This pretty one I'm sav-
ing for the Princess. (They continue in pantomime. A soldier
has entered. He stops by the schoolmaster.)
PEDER (To JOHAN KOELLER) : Can you direct me to the Palace?
JOHAN (Not looking up) : The Palace is yonder.
PEDER: How everything has changed 1
JOHAN (Closing his book) : Indeed it has. Nothing is as it used
to be.
PEDER : I have been away a long time. Tell me what has happened.
JOHAN : Last year the old King died. His daughter, the Princess
Dagmar, was heir to the throne. Since her father's death, she
has done nothing but weep, the livelong day.
MARIA (Who has been listening) : And most of the night, too.
PEDER: But doesn't her grief grow less with time?
JOHAN : On the contrary, it seems to grow more.
NILS : The country is going to rack and ruin while she mops her
eyes. But here comes the Palace cook. Now the day's business
can begin. (Enter GERTRUDE.)
GERTRUDE: Good morning, everyone. What have you to sell to-
day?
HENRIK: Fresh greens, Fru Gertrude. So fresh and tender that
they melt in your mouth.
GERTRUDE (Laughs) : If they melt in my mouth, Henrik, as fast
as the truth melts in yours, they will be good indeed. Let me
have that bunch. (Pantomime of buying. Over her shoulder to
MARIA) Have you any eggs, Maria?
MARIA : Yes, indeed. You've no idea how proud Juliana is to lay
eggs for the Palace folk. (GERTRUDE buys the eggs.)
NILS : Fru Gertrude, will you look at these pretty little pigs? This
one, now, most toothsome he would be, roasted and with an
apple in his mouth.
GERTRUDE: Let me see him, Nils. Why yes, I think that I must
have that little pig. Will you take him around to the kitchen
entrance of the Palace?
NILS: With pleasure! (Exit NILS carrying the pig.)
HANS: Fesh frish! Fesh frish!
728 HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH
GERTRUDE: Come here, boy. What have you? Are they nice and
fresh?
HANS: Caught this morning. This pretty one I saved for the
Princess. Will you take it to her, please?
GERTRXJDE: Alas, boy! The Princess will not look at even the
finest food. Great sorrow is upon her and has been for many
a day. She weeps all day long, and nothing can cheer her up.
MARIA: The poor, dear Princess!
GERTRUDE: Since her father, the King, died, her grief has never
ceased. Day by day she grows thinner and whiter. If she can-
not be made to smile soon and forget her grief, she too will die.
MARIA : An evil spell has been put upon her, I do believe.
GERTRUDE: For a week now the Ministers have met. I hear that
they have come to a decision and1 that an important announce-
ment is to be made today.
JOHAN : That will be worth hearing.
GERTRUDE: I must get back to my kitchen. Don't forget my eggs
next week, Maria.
MARIA: Never fear, Gertrude. Juliana will not desert you. (Exit
GERTRUDE. Enter NILS.)
HENRIK: Nils, there is newsl Gertrude says that a proclamation
is to be made today.
NILS: What about?
MARIA : It concerns the Princess.
HENRIK: Here comes the herald now. (A PAGE appears on the
balcony above. Everyone stands to listen.)
PAGE: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! (He unrolls a scroll and
reads.) The Ministers of the Court make proclamation. Know
ye that for a year and a day the Princess Dagmar has not
smiled. She has been stricken with a grievous melancholy which
nothing can cure. Being in great fear for the Princess's life, the
Ministers of the Court issue the following proclamation! Each
morning the Princess will be brought to the balcony. Those of
her subjects who believe that they might make her laugh will
perform before her. All who fail will be banished from the
kingdom. But if there should be one who succeeds in making
the Princess smile, that one shall have the Princess's hand in
marriage and shall rule as King. (Exit.)
HANS: What did he say? What was he talking about?
MARIA: They want someone, Hans, to make the Princess laugh.
HANS: Everyone laughs at me. Perhaps I could do it
HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH 729
HENRIK : Ha, ha, ha I Long live King Hans !
JOHAN : This puts an idea into my head. I believe that I might
do it My friends tell me that I have a flow of very subtle wit.
PEDER: If I were to give an imitation of Sergeant Gomar con-
ducting drill, the Princess would die of laughing.
NILS : I have a very clever dog who does many tricks. It might
make the Princess laugh to see him sit up and beg.
JOHAN (Taking PEDER'S arm) : Peder, let us go where we can
discuss this at greater length. (They go out.)
NILS : I must go and groom my dog and get a ribbon for his col-
lar. An appearance before royalty is not to be taken lightly.
(Exit.)
MARIA : Come on, Henrik. Let's go round to the kitchen entrance
of the Palace and see if we cannot find out more about this from
Gertrude. (Exit, leaving HANS alone on the stage. He has been
watching the foregoing proceedings with open-mouthed incom-
prehension.')
HANS : Now where have they all gone — and who is there to buy
my frish? Here comes an old dame now. Fesh frish! Fesh
frish! (Enter an old woman with a goose under her arm.)
Would you like to buy some frish today?
OLD WOMAN: Hist, boy! Are we all alone? Why is the market
place deserted?
HANS : I don't know. They never tell me. But they all went.
OLD WOMAN : It is well. Hans, listen to me. I am the Fairy God-
mother of the Princess Dagmar. I have come to break the evil
spell that is upon her.
HANS : You mean to make her laugh ?
OLD WOMAN : Yes, I knew that I should find you here, Hans.
You are the one who must save the Princess.
HANS: Save the Princess?
OLD WOMAN: Yes. If you succeed in making her laugh, great
good fortune will come to you. For not only will the Princess
be freed of her melancholy, but you, as soon as you hear her
laugh, will find your wits and will become wise and brave and
fit to rule the kingdom.
HANS: I do not know, Fru Fairy Godmother, how I could do
that
OLD WOMAN : Come, boy, sit here and I will tell you. (He does
so and she begins to explain as the curtains close.)
730 HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same as Scene 1, the next morning. The booths and
stalls have been cleared away. A few benches are at the sides
for the spectators.
AT RISE: A man is sweeping the square with a broom made of
twigs. Enter HANS with the goose under his arm.
SWEEPER: Clear out, fellow! This space is reserved for the con-
testants who will try to make the Princess laugh this morning.
HANS : I am one of them.
SWEEPER: If you ask me, there are two of you — both geese.
But if you are really one of the contestants, go into the Palace
and declare yourself. Everything must be done in order.
HANS: Where shall I go?
SWEEPER: In there, through that door. (Exit HANS. Enter
JOHAN, PEDER and NILS.)
NILS : Well, here we are. .
PEDER: To tell the truth, I am a little nervous. Sergeant Gomar
doesn't seem so funny now.
JOHAN: Courage, my boy! Nothing venture, nothing have. (They
exit into the Palace.)
FRU BEEK (Entering with MARIA) : It seems that we are the first
to arrive.
MARIA : Let's sit here where we can see all that happens. (They
sit on one of the benches.)
FRU BEEK : How many of them are to try this morning?
MARIA : Three, I think the cook said.
FRU BEEK: I wish them luck. (The man finishes sweeping and
goes out. Enter HENRIK.)
MARIA : Good morning, Henrik. Have you come to try your luck ?
HENRIK : Not I. My luck lies in another direction. (Reenter the
three contestants.)
NILS : Well, if between us we cannot make the Princess laugh —
HENRIK : That will be the last we shall see of you, Nils. We shall
miss you.
NILS : I hope that I have my turn first, I can't stand suspense.
HENRIK : Nils, my boy, this suspense is nothing to the suspense
at the end of a rope that may be waiting for you if you fail.
NILS: Oh, keep still, will you? (Enter HANS with his goose.)
HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH 731
HENRIK : And here is our friend, Hans. Are you going to try to
make the Princess laugh?
HANS : Yes, Henrik.
HENRIK: How will you do it, Hans? (HANS nods his head and
wags his finger, but says nothing.) If you fail, Hans, I think
that they will cook you along with the goose. See, here comes
the Palace cook now. She is waiting to get her hands on you.
(Enter GERTRUDE.) Isn't that so, Gertrude? Won't you do
Hans up in a nice brown gravy along with his goose if he doesn't
make the Princess laugh?
GERTRUDE: For shame, Henrik! Don't tease the boy. (She sits
on one of the benches. Enter the PAGE on the balcony.)
PAGE : Hear ye ! Hear ye ! Hear ye ! (Everyone faces the balcony.)
At this hour the Princess Dagmar will come forth upon this
balcony to view the antics of such of her subjects as believe
that they have the wit to break the evil spell of melancholy
under which she suffers. The contestants will appear as an-
nounced and will perform within view of the Princess. Failure
to make the Princess laugh means banishment from the King-
dom. (He withdraws. The PRINCESS DAGMAR appears on the
balcony with an attendant, who seats her. She is. swathed in
black and holds an enormous handkerchief to her eyes. The
PAGE appears in the square below.)
PAGE: The first contestant is Nils Sneedorff.
NILS (Comes forward f quaking. He leads his dog on a leash. He
bows.) : Royal Highness, this is my dog, Oscar. Many is the
time he has cheered my heart and I hope that he may cheer
yours. He will not sit unless he has a chair to sit on, so I have
brought his chair along. (Places chair.) Sit down, Oscar, and
say "How do you do." (The dog sits on the chair and barks.)
Your Royal Highness, Oscar would be most proud to shake
your hands, but he, being only a common dog, could not be so
presuming. Instead he will shake hands with the folks here.
(OSCAR goes to the spectators, offering his paw.) He often takes
the baby out for an airing. You can see for yourself that he
makes a perfect nursemaid. ( OSCAR wheels a dott carriage
across the stage.)Now, Oscar, if you can make the Princess
laugh, how will you feel? ( OSCAR chases his tail and rolls over.)
If she doesn't laugh, how will you fed? ( OSCAR becomes a
"dead dog." The audience laughs and applauds. * The PRINCESS
sobs into her handkerchief.)
732 HANS, WHO MADE THE PRINCESS LAUGH
PAGE: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Nils Sneedorff has tried and
failed to make the Princess laugh. Tomorrow he will be taken
to the boundaries of the Kingdom and banished from this land.
(Confusion and talking in the crowd.) Order ! Order ! Take
your places! (Quiet is restored.) The next contestant is Peder
Jesson of the army. (PEDER marches in. He goes through a
drill, shouting commands, stumbling over his. own feet, knocking
off his hat with a popgun which he carries, etc. The spectators
laugh, but the PRINCESS weeps. Her attendant gives her a fresh
handkerchief, wringing the tears from the one she has teen us-
ing and hanging it over the balcony to dry.)
PAGE: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Peder Jesson has tried and
failed to make the Princess laugh. With Nils Sneedorff he will
be banished from the Kingdom. The last contestant is Johan
Koeller, our schoolmaster.
JOHAN (He stands before the balcony and bows) : Your Royal
Highness, ladies and gentlemen ! We have assembled here this
morning to endeavor to tickle the risibilities of the Princess. I
trust I make myself clear. That is, I mean to say, to make her
laugh. Since laughter is easily provoked by an exhibition of the
incongruous, I shall proceed to give such an exhibition. Do I
make myself clear? I mean, I am going to try to be funny. I,
Johan Koeller, your schoolmaster, will dance a jig. (JoHAN
has concealed a large inflated balloon in his shirt front, giving
the effect of stoutness. The tune for the dance is "Pop Goes the
Weasel/9 He dances stiffly until "Pop" is reached. Then each
time there is an accent in the dance also. Suggestions: a shot
from PEDBR'S popgun; as "Pop" is reached, he pricks the balloon
in his shirt front with a pin and collapses. The audience laughs,
but the PRINCESS sobs.)
PAGE: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Johan Koeller has tried and
failed to make the Princess laugh. With Nils Sneedorff and
Peder Jesson he will be banished from the Kingdom. The con-
test is now over and none of the contestants has met with
success —
HANS: Wait, please! I haven't had my turn.
PAGE: Have you been duly entered as a contestant?
HANS : I don't know.
PRINCESS : Let the boy perform. (She has stopped weeping and
is watching HANS with interest.)
PAGE: Very well, Your Highness- Your name, boy?
HANS, WHO MADE TEE PRINCESS LAUGH 733
HANS : I am Hans Struh. My goose and I know a trick. (He
goes to the center of the stage and speaks to the PRINCESS.)
Royal Princess, will you observe my goose? It is the finest goose
in the world. I will show you.
GERTRUDE: Nonsense, Hans. It is old and tough! I can tell.
Bring it here. (He goes to her.)
HANS (As she touches the goose) : If you'll come along, then
hang on. (He drags the cook across the stage.)
GERTRUDE: Help ! Help! I can't let go. (HENRIK seises her about
the waist and is dragged after her. FRU BEEK seises HENRIES
coat tails and joins the procession. JOHAN seizes FRU BEEK and
MARIA seizes JOHAN. PEDER seizes MARIA, and NILS and his
< dog OSCAR bring up the rear. HANS does a fantastic dance
which they must all needs imitate. Finally the PRINCESS bursts
into a hearty peal of laughter. At the sound, HANS drops the
goose. The whole procession collapses in a heap. HANS snatches
off his red wig, revealing himself as a handsome young man. He
runs into the Palace and comes out on the balcony, beside the
PRINCESS.)
CURTAIN
(In a moment the curtains open again. The procession has dis-
solved and its members have regained their feet. HANS and the
PRINCESS stand on the balcony.)
ALL: Long live King Hans! Long live Queen Dagmar!
HANS : My faithful subjects, this is indeed a happy day ! Not only
has our Princess been delivered from the evil spell of her mel-
ancholy, but her deliverer has been delivered from the wicked
spell of his witlessness. As the first act of my reign over you,
I pronounce a pardon for those contestants who this morning
tried and failed. (Cheers.) And now let there be a holiday and
feasting, and may the joy of this day endure forever. (Cheers.
Confetti is thrown. The people m the square form for a folk
dance. The Danish dance of greeting is suggested. Upon this
dance f the curtain cleses.)
THE END
A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
by Elsi Rowland
Characters
JOHN CHUBB, a baker
DAME POTHERBY
DAME GREENSMITH
MILLER HODGE
SIMEON HALFPENNY
THOMAS HOOD
WILLIAM DAWSON
THE JUDGE
DAVID COBB
SQUIRE HUMPHREY
COURT CLERK
ATTENDANT
THREE WOMEN
FOUR MEN
SPECTATORS
SETTING : A courtroom in an English village. The judge's bench
is at the bach of the stage. The clerk's table is below the bench.
The prisoner's dock is at one side of it and the witness stand
at the other. On either side of the stage are benches for the
spectators.
AT RISE : Three women are seated on the benches. They are
talking.
IST WOMAN: For years he has been cheating us.
2ND WOMAN: But now we have brought him to justice.
3RD WOMAN: The Courts of Law are a great thing. They can
decide what's right and what's wrong and no more arguing
about it.
IST WOMAN : It's plenty of arguing I have done with John Chubb
about his short weight.
2ND WOMAN : Yes, and much good it has done.
734
A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES 735
SRD WOMAN : Here come Dame Potherby and Dame Greensmith.
(Enter the two women.)
DAME POTHERBY: Good morning, neighbors.
IST WOMAN: Are you going to testify, Dame Potherby?
DAME POTHERBY : Indeed I am ! I have brought some buns with
me as evidence. I shall tell the judge — (The rest of her speech
is blotted out by the entrance of four men who are talking. They
move to the benches and sit down. The women continue to talk
in pantomime.)
IST MAN : I wonder what John Chubb will have to say for himself.
2ND MAN : I doubt if he ever baked a loaf of bread in his life that
was full weight.
3RD MAN : His money chests are not short weight though. I be-
lieve he is the richest man in town.
IST MAN: There's no doubt about that.
3RD WOMAN : Shame on him to rob honest people and to starve
their children!
4-TH MAN : Well, the case will have a full hearing this day and it
may be that John Chubb's money chests will not be filled so
quickly after this. (During these speeches, enough people —
men and women — have been coming in to fill the spectators9
benches. These characters should be chosen for their ability to
pantomime well so that the scene will not lack animation. As
soon as they are seated, a trumpet is sounded off-stage. Enter
the COURT CLERK followed by the JUDGE. All of the spectators
rise. The JUDGE seats himself and the COURT CLERK reads the
commission authorising the Court session.)
COURT CLERK: Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! Attend the opening
of this Court of Law where the judge is authorized to admin-
ister impartial and even justice and to uphold the laws of the
kingdom in the name of his royal Highness, the King of Eng-
land. (The spectators are seated.) The first case is that of John
Chubb against the people of this town.
JUDGE : Let the prisoner be brought to the bar. (Enter a COURT
ATTENDANT with JOHN CHUBB in custody. Whispering among
the spectators.) What is the charge against him? •
CLERK: Your Honor, the defendant John Chubb is a baker by
trade. He is charged with selling his products short in weight.
JUDGE: Who are the witnesses for the prosecution?
CLERK: Dame Greensmith, Dame Potherby, Miller Hodge and
Simeon Halfpenny.
736 A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
JUDGE : Dame Greensmith, will you take the stand? (The CLERK
sits. DAME GREENSMITH goes to the witness stand.) Dame
Greensmith, what do you know of Baker Chubb's products?
DAME GREENSMITH : Your Honor, John Chubb has sold bread to
me for the past two years. During that time, my children have
become thin and pale. Night after night they go to bed crying
with hunger. John Chubb's buns, which he sells for six-pence,
can be gobbled up in two bites. Unless your Honor can make
him give us full weight, I do not know what will become of us.
We are the poor people of the town who own no wheat fields.
JUDGE: Have you ever charged the defendant with giving you
short weight?
DAME GREENSMITH : Many a time. But he has become angry and
told me that if my children were still hungry, they could go out
in the fields and eat grass.
JUDGE : Thank you, Dame Greensmith. You may stand down. (She
takes her seat) Next witness, Dame Potherby. (She comes for-
ward.) What is your testimony?
DAME POTHERBY : Your Honor, it is a burning shame ! Will you
look at this ? (Produces a bun) This is what John Chubb calls
a bun. This is what he sells to the town for six-pence. (The
JUDGE takes the bun and examines it.)
JUDGE: Is this the regular-sized bun?
DAME POTHERBY : It is, your Honor.
JUDGE : I think that there might be three bites in this bun instead
of two. However, the proof of the pudding, as they say — (He
begins to eat the bun.)
DAME POTHERBY : Any decent bun, your Honor, should have four
bites in it.
JUDGE: I am inclined to agree with you. (Chews) Yes, it can be
done in two bites, but three would be more genteel. Have you
any further testimony, Dame Potherby?
DAML POTHERBY : I have, your Honor. What John Chubb's buns
are made of, only himself knows but I'll wager it's nothing good.
I strongly suspect that his flour is mixed with charf .
JUDGE : In Courts of Law, suspicions can not be accepted as evi-
dence. Suspicions are not facts.
DAME POTHERBY : Well, his buns taste as though they were made
of straw, your Honor, and that's no suspicion — it's a fact.
JUDGE: Yes, that can be accepted as evidence. I have just eaten
a bun.
A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES 737
DAME POTHERBY : You might eat a dozen, your Honor, and still
be hungry.
JUDGE : I will take your word for that. I do not care to try the
experiment. Thank you, Dame Potherby. That is all. (She takes
her seat.) Next witness, Miller Hodge. (He takes the stand.)
Miller Hodge, have you done business with the defendant, John
Chubb?
MILLER HODGE : I have, your Honor.
JUDGE : And have your relations with him been satisfactory?
MILLER HODGE : John Chubb is a difficult customer, your Honor.
JUDGE: Why do you say that?
MILLER HODGE : He will not buy my flour, your Honor. He says
it is too dear. He is a great one for a bargain, is John Chubb.
JUDGE: Then how do you do business with him?
MILLER HODGE: Well, you see, your Honor, he brings me his
wheat to grind.
JUDGE : That is not an unusual practise on the part of the towns-
people who raise wheat, is it?
MILLER HODGE : No, your Honor. I do a lot of milling besides my
own. The difference is that John Chubb's wheat is ground up
chaff and all. His full flour sacks don't weigh six stone. Mine
weigh a full eight.
JUDGE: Thank you, Miller Hodge. That will do. (MILLER HODGE
is seated'.) Simeon Halfpenny, will you take the stand?
(SIMEON is a boy of fourteen.) You have worked for Baker
Chubb?
SIMEON : Yes, your Honor.
JUDGE: What do you do in his shop?
SIMEON: At four o'clock in the morning, I open the shop and
start the fires going. Then I bring in the sacks of flour. Then
I set out the pans. Then the master comes in and he mixes the
buns. I stand by and sweep up the flour he spills on the floor
and put it back in the sacks.
JUDGE: Go on.
SIMEON : Then I watch the buns while they bake. After the buns
are done, I take them out in the little cart to sell. Sometimes I
don't sell all the buns and master gives them to me. He says
that I can start paying him for them when I finish my appren-
ticeship. I am not good at figures but master keeps it all in his
big books. He says that I owe him forty pounds already. When
738 A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
I come back to the shop, I wash the pans, rake over the fires,
put on the shutters and then go home. Master stays behind to
count the money and to do accounts.
JUDGE : Thank you, Simeon. You may stand down.
CLERK (Rising) : The Court has heard the evidence of the prose-
cution. It will now hear the case of the defendant.
JUDGE: Who are the witnesses for the defense?
CLERK: John Chubb has no witnesses, your Honor. He will plead
his own cause.
JUDGE: Very well. John Chubb, will you take the stand? (He
does so.) Baker Chubb, you have heard the evidence of the
prosecution. Have you anything to say?
JOHN CHUBB: It's all lies, your Honor. My flour is as good as
any in this town and my buns are all full weight. (Gasps: from
the spectators)
JUDGE : You saw the bun which Dame Potherby gave to me? Was
it one of your buns, Baker Chubb?
JOHN CHUBB: It was, your Honor.
JUDGE: How much do your buns weigh?
JOHN CHUBB : A full pound, your Honor. Not an ounce less.
JUDGE : You testify that the buns all weigh a pound and that they
are made of the best flour?
JOHN CHUBB: I do, your Honor.
JUDGE: Is Simeon Halfpenny your only helper?
JOHN CHUBB : Yes, your Honor. I have a fatherly interest in the
boy. His name appeals to me.
JUDGE: Do you make a fair profit in your business, Baker Chubb?
JOHN CHUBB: Little or nothing, your Honor. I am so kind-
hearted that I cannot bear to see any one lack for bread. Last
year I must have given away a dozen buns.
JUDGE : Your generosity is very commendable. How much do you
weigh, Baker Chubb?
JOHN CHUBB: Why, your Honor, 'twas only this morning 1
stepped on my scales. I tipped the balance at one hundred and
fifty pounds. But why does your Honor want to know?
JUDGE: That will be evident in due time, sir. You may be seated.
(He resumes his place in the prisoner's dock.) The Court has
heard the evidence of the plaintiffs and that of the defendant.
This evidence will be weighed carefully. Squire Humphrey, will
you go to Baker Chubb's shop next door with Thomas Hood
A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
739
and put one hundred and fifty pounds of his buns into a sack
and bring it to the Court.
SQUIRE HUMPHREY: Yes, your Honor. (He and THOMAS HOOD
go out.)
JUDGE : William Dawson and David Cobb, will you go to the ante-
room and fetch to the Court the plank and trestle which you will
find there. (Two of the men go out. They return in a moment
with the plank and trestle. They place them before the JUDGE'S
bench.)
WILLIAM DAWSON : Now what, your Honor.
JUDGE: Now, gentlemen, will you balance the plank upon the
trestle so that both ends are equally distant from the floor. (They
do so.)
DAVID COBB : That's done, your Honor.
JUDGE : That is all, gentlemen. Thank you. (They take their seats.)
What you see before you is a crude form of scales of justice.
From time immemorial, justice has been represented by a blind-
folded goddess, holding scales in her outstretched hand. The
question to be decided is whether Baker Chubb's buns are short
in weight and with the help of our plank and trestle, the case
can be settled. (Enter SQUIRE HUMPHREY and THOMAS
HOOD.)
SQUIRE HUMPHREY: Here are the buns, your Honor.
JUDGE : Now, gentlemen, will you bind the sack containing the one
hundred and fifty-one-pound buns to one end of the plank. (One
of the spectators produces a piece of rope from his pocket and
the men proceed to bind the sack to the plank.)
THOMAS HOOD: There you are, your Honor.
JUDGE : Baker Chubb, will you mount the other end of the plank?
If the one hundred and fifty pounds of your person balances
with the one hundred and fifty buns each weighing one pound
which are in the sack, your honesty will be proved. If, on the
other hand, you are found to outweigh the buns, the charge
against you will be upheld.
JOHN CHUBB: Of all the blathering nonsense —
JUDGE : Such expressions may be termed contempt of court, Baker
Chubb. You will refrain from giving voice to them.
JOHN CHUBB: I beg your pardon, your Honor, but I might break
my neck if I tried to get up there.
JUDGE: There is little danger of that. Gentlemen, will you assist
740 A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
Baker Chubb to his position, (WILLIAM DAWSON and DAVID
COBB seize JOHN and hoist him onto the plank.)
WILLIAM DAWSON : Up with you, Johnny !
DAVID COBB : All aboard ! (The plank comes down with a thud.)
JOHN CHUBB: Ugh! (Laughter from the spectators. "That settles
it." "I knew he'd fix it." "The Courts 6j Law are great things"
etc. WILLIAM DAWSON and DAVID COBB help JOHN to his feet.)
JUDGE (Rapping with his gavel) : Order in the Court. (The
laughter subsides.)
JOHN CHUBB: All right, your Honor, I confess. I do make my
buns short weight and there is chaff in my flour. But it will
never happen again if your Honor will be easy with me.
JUDGE : I am glad that you have confessed your dishonesty, John
Chubb. But such wrong-doing can not go unpunished. You have
robbed the people of this town and have grown rich at their ex-
pense. To make amends, you must change your bad practices.
Not only must your bread be full weight and of the first quality,
but from now on you must put an extra bun into every dozen
that you sell. In this town, thirteen will be known as a baker's
dozen.
ALL (Cheers) : Hooray! Thank you, your Honor! Three cheers
for our Courts of Law ! etc.
THE END
THE THREE AUNTS
by Elsi Rowland
Characters
MAJOR DOMO
NANNETTE 1
JULIE I maids in the castle
MARIANNA I
* ladies-in-waiting
LADY CLOTILDE
LADY MARGUERITE
LADY HELOISE
THE QUEEN
PRINCE BAUDOIN
LORD GERVAIS
LORD PHILLIPE
AUNT GROS BEC (or Long Nose)
AUNT Bossu (or Hump Back)
AUNT OEIL ROUGE (or Red Eye)
A PAGE
SCENE 1
SETTING : The throne room of the castle.
AT RISE : Enter the MAJOR DOMO of the castle followed by three
maids with brooms, brushes and other cleaning implements-. The
light is dim.
MAJOR DOMO: This room is to be given a thorough turning out
and airing.
THE MAIDS: Yes, your Excellency.
MAJOR DOMO: My numerous duties prevent me from supervis-
ing the operation. However, the Lady Clotilde will come to
inspect your work. Everything must be ready by ten o'clock
for the Queen is to hold Court here today.
741
742 THE THREE AUNTS
NANNETTE : You may trust us, your Excellency.
MAJOR DOMO: I wonder! You, Nannette, have a fondness for
sweeping dust under the rugs.
NANNETTE: Oh, your Excellency! Maybe once or twice when
time ran short, but in the Throne Room — never !
MAJOR DOMO : Nor in any other room, my girl ! It is a practice on
which the Queen would frown. If she knew that dust was swept
under the rugs — well, Nannette, I have known maids to spend
some time in the dungeon of the castle for less. I shall leave
Julie in charge. Remember, by ten o'clock all must be clean and
shining and in order. {Exits.)
JULIE: There is no time to lose. Nannette, take this broom and
sweep the floor. Marianne, unroll the rug and brush it. ( JULIE
takes the cover from the throne and begins to polish it. The two
others move about slowly with many pauses for conversation.)
MARIANNE : Can you tell me why we are doing this ?
NANNETTE: Oh, Marianne, don't you know? Prince Baudoin is
coming home from his travels. The time has come for him to
settle down and to think of choosing a wife. Lady Marguerite
and Lady Clotilde were talking about it while I was dusting the
Queen's chamber yesterday.
JULIE: Don't you know that you shouldn't listen to the conversa-
tion of the Ladies-in- Waiting?
MARIANNE: Oh, pooh! Tell me more, Nannette.
NANNETTE: They said that the Prince is very handsome and very
learned, but that he is peculiar in one respect.
MARIANNE: And what is that?
NANNETTE: He is determined to marry the maiden who is the
most skilled at spinning and weaving and! sewing in the whole
kingdom, no matter what her station may be.
MARIANNE: What if she were as homely as could be? Would he
care?
NANNETTE: You may be sure he would. Now if he could only
see me, he would forget all this nonsense. (She dances about with
the broom.)
JULIE: You vain girl! Do hurry, Nannette! Lady Clotilde will
be here soon. Marianne, please give me those dust covers.
(She takes them and goes out.)
NANNETTE: Marianne, I have just thought of the best joke to
play on Julie! Let's tell Lady Clotilde that Julie can spin and
weave and sew better than anyone else in the kingdom. You
THE THREE AUNTS 743
know Julie can't take a proper stitch. She will be entered in
the contest and that is the last we shall see of Julie.
MARIANNE: Nannette, that is a wonderful idea! Here comes the
Lady Clotilde and you haven't finished sweeping the floor 1
NANETTE: Quick, Marianne! Hold up the corner of the rug while
I sweep this dust under it. (They do so.)
MARIANNE: Oh, Nannette, what if she looks under?
NANNETTE: Shh! (Enter LADY CLOTILDE. She casts a hasty
glance about.)
LADY CLOTILDE : Everything seems to be in order. Nannette and
Marianne, you are dismissed. (As they leave, MARIANNE
stumbles over the corner of the rugs, which turns back, disclos-
ing the dust that was swept under it.) What shiftless practice is
this? Which of you is responsible?
NANNETTE (Stammering) : Oh, my lady 1 We did not know it
was there!
' LADY CLOTILDE: Well, who put it there?
NANNETTE : My kdy, it must have been Julie.
LADY CLOTILDE : Julie ! That is not like her.
NANNETTE: But, my lady, Julie is so distraught. She has her
mind so much on how she is to spin and weave and sew for the
Prince.
LADY CLOTILDE: For the Prince! And what do you know of the
Prince and his interest in spinning and weaving and sewing?
NANNETTE: Julie overheard you telling the Lady Marguerite
about it. Julie can spin and weave and sew better than any one
else in the kingdom, I do believe. She wants to show the Prince
what she can do.
LADY CLOTILDE: Julie will certainly be given a chance to prove
her skill. (Enter JULIE. She curtsies.) Julie, Nannette tells me
that you wish to enter the contest in spinning and weaving and
sewing for the Prince.
JULIE (Amazed) : Oh, but, my lady — !
LADY CLOTILDE : Do not hesitate, Julie, Every girl in the country
who has such skill, should submit her work.
JULIE: Really, my lady, I can't What makes you think I can —
LADY CLOTILDE: I will report the matter to the Queen. Come
with me, Julie. Nannefte and Marianne, take up the dust and
then go to the Major Domo. He may have more work for you
to do. (Exit LADY CLOTILDE and JULIE.)
744 THE THREE AUNTS
NANNETTE (Bursts into laughter) : Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you see
Julie's face? Not a word could she say for herself.
MARIANNE: Imagine Julie weaving for the royal presses! Why
she can't even thread a needle !
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING : A small room in which there is a bench, and a spinning
wheel with a chair before it. By the chair is a large basket piled
with flax.
AT RISE : Stage is empty. Enter LADY CLOTILDE and JULIE.
LADY CLOTILDE: Here you will find everything to provo your
skill. Your task is to spin a pound of flax before dawn to-
morrow. It is the Queen's intention that the most skillful
weaver in the country is to succeed her on the throne as the wife
of the Prince.
JULIE (Curtsying) : Yes, my lady.
LADY CLOTILDE: Much depends upon your success. If you fail,
you will spend the rest of your days in the dungeon of the castle.
JULIE : Yes, my lady.
LADY CLOTILDE: I shall leave you now. You will not be inter-
rupted. (Exits.)
JULIE : And all I say is, "Yes, my lady." Nannette would not be
so tongue-tied. The wife of the Prince, indeed ! I am as good
as in the castle dungeon already. (She picks up a bundle of flax
and turns it over and over. She seats herself at the spinning
wheel and tries first one way and then another.) No, that can't
be the way. (Finally she drops the flax and hides her face in
her hands., weeping. An old woman with a very long nose enters.
She watches Julie for a moment.)
GROS EEC: Julie!
JULIE (Startled): Oh!
THE THREE AUNTS 745
GROS BEC: Why are you crying?
JULIE : It would do no good for me to tell you.
GROS BEC : Who knows ? Maybe I could help you.
JULIE: You can not unless you can spin a pound of flax before
dawn. That is the task which the Queen has set for me.
GROS BEC: Why, my dear, nothing could be easier. Dry your
eyes and think no more of it.
JULIE : Do you mean that you could do it? Oh, if you only would.
GROS BEC: I could do it with ease. And in payment all that I
should require is that you call me Auntie on the happiest day
of your life.
JULIE: Is that all! I will do that willingly.
GROS BEC: Sit there and watch me while I spin. ( JULIE sits on
the bench. GROS BEC spins to the sound of soft music. The
lights grow dimmer. JULIE falls adeep. Finally the lights go
out. GROS BEC goes off the stage taking the flax with her and
leaving a full spindle behind. Presently the lights come on to
disclose JULIE still sleeping. She awakes.)
JULIE: Where am I? Oh, I remember. There was an old woman
with a long nose here. She was spinning for me when I fell
asleep. (She gets up.) It may have been a dream. No, it wasn't!
Here is the flax all spun! Oh, how lucky I am! (Enter LADY
CLOTILDE.)
LADY CLOTILDE: Well, Julie, is your task completed?
JULIE (Curtsying) : Yes, my lady. (LADY CLOTILDE inspects the
work.)
LADY CLOTILDE: This is a fine piece of work. The Queen can not
help but be pleased. I am glad that you have done so well. You
are ready now for your second task. A loom will be brought
and you will weave this yarn into fine linen. Tomorrow morn-
ing I shall return to inspect your work.
JULIE: Yes, my lady.
LADY CLOTILDE: Weave carefully, Julie. The Queen's eyes can
detect the least flaw. (Exits.)
JULIE: I have never seen a loom. I wonder what it looks like.
CURTAIN
* * *
746 THE THREE AUNTS
SCENES
SETTING: The same room. Toward dawn.
AT RISE: The spinning wheel has been removed and a small loom
has taken its place. An old woman with a humped back is work-
ing at it. JULIE is asleep.
Bossu : Warp and woof — warp and woof. Which is more im-
portant I cannot decide. Now the work is done and Julie has
slept. She is waking up.
JULIE: Ho hum! What a dream I have had. I dreamt that I was
Queen of the land and that I was walking on a carpet of linen
which stretched as far as I could see. Oh, my good Aunt Bossu,
is the weaving done?
Bossu : Yes, my child. I am leaving you now, but on the happiest
day of your life I shall return.
JULIE : Then I shall call you Auntie. I shan't forget my promise.
Bossu: Goodbye till then, Julie. (Exits.)
JULIE: What if my dream should come true! Surely the Queen
will be satisfied with this linen for it is perfect. It is fit for a
Prince. I wonder if I am fit to be a Princess ? (She poses.) My
loyal subjects, I have made a decree that no more linen is to be
woven in this land. (She walks across the stage in a regal man-
ner. Enter LADY CLOTILDE.)
LADY CLOTILDE: Julie, are you sleepwalking? Your manner is
very strange.
JULIE : Oh, a thousand pardons, my lady.
LADY CLOTILDE: Is the weaving done?
JULIE: Yes, my lady. Will you look at it?
LADY CLOTILDE: Quite perfect, Julie. It might have been woven
by the fairies. The Queen is coming this morning to inspect
your work, and the Prince is coming with her. I will inform
her that everything is ready. (Exits.)
JULIE: The Prince is coming, and here I am in my old kitchen
dress. What will he think of me? If they find out that I have
not done this work, I will surely be put in the dungeon. I am
afraid. I should like to run away. It is too late. Here they
come. (Enter a PAGE.)
PAGE: Her Majesty, the Queen! His Royal Highness, Prince
Baudoin. (They enter followed by LADY CLOTILDE and LADY
MARGUERITE. JULIE curtsies.)
THE THREE AUNTS 747
QUEEN: My son, this is the maiden, Julie, who is proving herself
so skillful at the arts for which this country is famous. (JULIE
kneels.) Although she is of humble birth, her skill would bring
fresh honor to our name.
BAUDOIN: Rise, Julie. ( JULIE stands.) She is comely as well.
She has a modest and pretty manner. I am not displeased. In
suitable garb she would grace a throne. But where is a sample
of her handiwork?
LADY CLOTILDE: Here it is, Your Highness. (They inspect the
cloth on the loom.)
BAUDOIN : I have never seen more perfect linen.
QUEEN: Did I not tell you so, my son?
BAUDOIN: If she passes the final test, our betrothal may be an-
nounced.
JULIE: Your Highness, what may the final test be?
QUEEN : You are to sew this linen into shirts for my son. They
must be of such perfection of workmanship as to surpass the
combined efforts of all the royal seamstresses. Do you think
that you can do it?
JULIE: I can but try, Your Majesty.
QUEEN: Tomorrow, dressed as a Princess, you will bring your
work to the Throne Room where it will be displayed before all
the Court If it passes the test, your betrothal to the Prince will
be announced. If you fail, you will be taken to the castle dun-
geon where you will spend the rest of your days.
JULIE: Yes, your Majesty. (Exit the QUEEN.)
BAUDOIN: Until tomorrow, Julie. (He follows the QUEEN and is
followed by the LADIES-IN-WAITING.)
JULIE: Unless some one comes to help me, my life is over. What
are the Prince's measurements? How does he like his shirts
cut? I do not know. I have neither scissors nor needle and
thread. If I were not imprisoned in this high tower I would
run away — back to my father's cottage and spend the rest of
my days like the humble one that I am. (She listens.) Not a
sound. The day is going by. This time ho one is coming. (She
sit$ down and puts her head in her hands. Enter OEIL ROUGE.)
OEIL ROUGE : Not so, Julie. I am a little late, to be sure, but ready
to set to work. Now, my child, calm your fears and rest To-
morrow your betrothal to the Prince will be announced.
JULIE: But I am afraid.
748 THE THREE AUNTS
OEIL ROUGE : Have no fear, Julie. If you will call me Auntie on
the happiest day of your life, all will be well. Rest now and
sleep until tomorrow.
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: The Throne Room.
AT RISE : LADY HELOISE and LORDS GERVAIS and PHILLIPE are
talking.
PHILLIPE : A mere nobody !
LADY HELOISE: I hear she was clearing pots and pans in the
kitchen a week ago.
GERVAIS: And where does she come from?
PHILLIPE: From the provinces. She was engaged as a kitchen
maid.
LADY HELOISE : I wonder if her family will be present at the be-
trothal. No doubt they are peasants. (Enter LADY MAR-
GUERITE.)
LADY MARGUERITE : Gossiping as usual, I see.
LADY HELOISE : And plenty to gossip about, I can tell you.
LADY MARGUERITE: You are never without a subject, Heloise.
(Other Lords and Ladies have been coming in. A PAGE appears.)
PAGE: Her Majesty, the Queen. His Royal Highness, Prince
Baudoin. (They enter. The Lords and Ladies make obeisance.
The QUEEN seats herself upon the throne. The PRINCE stands
beside her.)
QUEEN: My lords and ladies, I wish to announce that a most
important decision is impending. A genius has been discovered
in the arts of spinning and weaving. This genius is the kitchen
maid, Julie. You are all to be judges of the final test — that of
sewing. Lady Marguerite, will you conduct the maiden, Julie,
to the Throne Room? (LADY MARGUERITE curtsies and goes
THE THREE AUNTS 749
out. She returns with JULIE who is dressed in court dress and is
carrying a shirt of fine linen. She drops on one knee before the
throne.)Rise> Julie. (She rises. LADY MARGUERITE takes the
shirt from her and presents it to the QUEEN for inspection.) It
is more than could be hoped for. It is perfection I
BAUDOIN : The test is passed. Never before have I had such linen !
COURT (Gathering around): Beautiful! Exquisite! Divine! Oh!
Ah!
QUEEN : Come forward, Julie. ( JULIE approaches and the QUEEN
takes her hand.) My lords and ladies of the Court, I wish to
announce the betrothal of my son, Prince Baudoin, to the
maiden, Julie. She has proved herself more than worthy of
carrying on the tradition of fine handiwork.
COURT (Bowing) : Honor to the Princess Julie !
QUEEN (Placing her hand in that of PRINCE BAUDOIN) : Now the
royal presses need never lack for the finest linen, for Julie can
supply them.
JULIE : I don't know what to say. I am only a simple country girl.
(Enter AUNT GROS EEC. JULIE goes forward with outstretched
hand.) Oh, Auntie, I am so glad to see you. (The Court stares.
The ladies raise their eyebrows.)
LADY HELOISE: What did I tell you! What a charming family
she has !
GROS BEC : Julie, my dear, introduce me to the Prince. I hope that
he will ask me to live at the castle.
JULIE : Prince Baudoin, this is my Aunt Gros Bee.
BAUDOIN: How do you do?
GROS BEC : I am glad to be here, your Royal Highness. My.sisters,
Bossu and Oeil Rouge are on the way. We hope to spend the
rest of our lives with you.
BAUDOIN : Indeed ! My lord Gen ais, a chair for our guest. (A
bench is brought in and GROS BEC seats herself. Enter Bossu
and OEIL ROUGE.)
Bossu : Here we are, Julie.
OEIL ROUGE : We came as we promised you we would.
JULIE : I am so glad to see you.
BAUDOIN: And who may your friends be, Julie?
JULIE: Prince Baudoin, they are my aunts — Bossu and Oeil
Rouge.
LADY HELOISE (Aside) : A charming family! I doubt if the
Prince can stand this.
750 THE THREE AUNTS
BAUDOIN: Will you be seated, ladies?
Bossu: Thank you, your Royal Highness. £)ur old bones are
weary. We have walked a long way. (They seat themselves on
the bench with GROS EEC.)
OEIL ROUGE: Sister Gros Bee, it seems to me that Julie is grow-
ing to look more like you. Her nose looks longer than it did
a year ago.
GROS BEC: I shouldn't wonder. If you can believe it, Prince
Baudoin, I looked just like Julie once. But I sat over my spin-
ning for hours and days and my nose gradually grew longer
and longer. I can see that Julie's nose has begun to grow. (The
ladies suppress titters.)
Bossu : My back used to be as straight as Julie's. But when she
has spent as many hours weaving at the loom as I have, she
too will have a hump.
BAUDOIN: Heaven forbid! (He leaves JULIE'S side and walks
down stage in great agitation.)
OEIL ROUGE : My eyes were once clear and bright, as Julie's are.
now. But they have been strained by the fine stitches I have
put into my sewing. Soon Julie's will lose their sparkle and
will become dull and red.
BAUDOIN (To himself): What a bride! Is she to become like
these horrors ! What can I do ?
LADY HELOISE (Aside) : I think that the Prince is regretting his
bargain.
BAUDOIN : I know what I must do, although I regret it with all
my heart. I can not have such a bride.
JULIE (Going to the PRINCE) : Your Royal Highness, I know
what you are thinking. Release me from our contract. I wish
only to return to my father's home. I am not fit to be a Queen.
BAUDOIN (Taking her hands) : No, Julie, you must keep our
bond. You are sweet and kind and honest and worthy to be a
Queen. That you may escape the fate that would be waiting
for you, I will forego the delights of your handiwork. Your
estimable aunts will supply the palace presses, and you, my
dear, will never spend another moment of your life at spinning
or weaving or sewing. (He kisses her hand.)
COURT: Long live Princess Julie! Long live Prince Baudoin!
May they live happily forever!
THE END
HANSEL AND GRETHEL
by Natalie Simonds
Characters
WOODCUTTER
His WIFE
HANSEL
GRETHEL
THE WITCH
SCENE 1
SETTING: The WOODCUTTER'S home
AT RISE: The WOODCUTTER'S WIFE is sitting before the fire. The
door opens and the WOODCUTTER enters. He stoops under a
heavy load of wood and appears very tired. He sets his load near
the fireplace and sinks into the nearest chair, his head in his
hands.
WIFE: What luck today?
WOODCUTTER (His head stiU bowed, slowly) : No luck. (Then
raising his head) What are we to do? No one will buy my wood.
How can we feed ourselves and the children?
WIFE (Hesitantly) : I have a plan. It sounds cruel, but it's the
only way. Tomorrow when you go to the woods, we must take
the children and leave them there. We can give them food and
build a fire to keep them warm. Someone will find them there.
They will take better care of them than we can.
WOODCUTTER: I wish there were some other way.
WIFE: If we keep them here, we will all starve. We've scarcely
enough food for tomorrow. Surely it's kinder to give them that
chance than to let them starve slowly.
WOODCUTTER (Sighing) : Perhaps you're right. (Rising) Then
come, let us go to bed. We must be up with the sun.
CURTAIN
* * *
752 HANSEL AND GRETHEL
SCENE 2
SETTING: The forest with the WITCH'S house at the right.
AT RISE : HANSEL and GRETHEL enter from left. They are very
tired and walk slowly.
GRETHEL (Weeping) : Oh, Hans. I'm so tired. We've walked and
walked and I just can't go any further. Can't we sit down and
rest?
HANSEL (Comfortingly) : Please don't cry, Grethel. I know
you're tired, but soon we'll find some nice people who will take
us in and give us food and a warm place to sleep.
GRETHEL (Through her tears) : But why can't we go home,
Hans? You said you would scatter our bread so that we could
find our way back and (Sobbing harder) we threw away a
whole piece of bread and now I'm hungry and the bread is gone.
HANSEL (Softly) : I know. But the birds ate the bread. (Cheer-
fully) Perhaps they were hungry, too. Hungrier than us maybe.
(At this moment he looks up and sees the WITCH'S house.)
Grethel! Look! A house! Such a pretty little house! (He runs
over to it.) Grethel! Come here! The house is made of candy!
Real candy! (GRETHEL runs quickly to where HANSEL is stand-
ing. He breaks off a piece of the roof and hands it to her; breaks
off another piece and devours it hungrily.) Isn't it good?
(GRETHEL eats the candy and smiles happily.)
GRETHEL : Oh, Hans. It's wonderful. A candy house — and all for
us! (They break off piece after piece and eat ravenously. Sud-
denly HANSEL stops. There is a tapping noise from inside the
house.)
HANSEL: Somebody's coming! (The door opens and the WITCH
emerges, leaning on her cane.)
WITCH (Smiling) : What lovely children ! Were you eating my
house?
HANSEL: Y-y-yes, we were. (Politely) I hope you don't mind.
But it's such a lovely tasting house and we're awfully hungry.
We've been walking for a long time and we haven't eaten since
morning. We're very tired. (Manfully) My sister isn't used to
walking so much.
WITCH (Solicitously): You poor children! You must come in
HANSEL AND GRETHEL 753
and warm yourselves by my fire and I'll give you something to
eat. I've a place where you can sleep, too.
HANSEL : Oh, thank you. We'd like that
WITCH : Come ahead (She opens the door and motions them in-
side. HANSEL takes GRETHEL by the hand and they enter.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: Inside the WITCH'S house.
AT RISE: HANSEL and GRETHEL are asleep on cots. The WITCH
is sitting by the fire.
WITCH (Rubbing her hands) : What nice children! They'll make
a tasty m&rseL I should get three good meals out of them.
(Thoughtfully) The boy is a bit thin, but I can fatten him up.
I'll eat the girl first (Looking towards GRETHEL) She looks
about ready now. (HANSEL stirs, rubs his eyes and gazes about
him. He remembers where he is, looks to see if GRETHEL is all
right and then rises.)
HANSEL: Did I sleep long? It's morning, isn't it? I guess I was
awfully tired.
WITCH : You were sleeping so soundly I didn't want to wake you.
Would you like some breakfast?
HANSEL: Oh, yes! (Remembering his manners) If it isn't too
much trouble.
WITCH : Of course not, you dear boy. Come with me to the cup-
board and we'll see what we can find. (She takes him by the
hand and they go to the cupboard.)
WITCH (Opening the door) : Now. . .what do you see?
HANSEL (Peering in) : Why, it's so dark, I can't. . .
WITCH (Pushing him inside) : In you go ! And tHere you stay un-
til we fatten you up! (She locks the cupboard.)
754 HANSEL AND GRETHEL
HANSEL (His voice muffled from inside; banging with his fists on
the door) : Let me out! Let me out!
WITCH (Chuckling) : Not yet, my boy, not yet. But soon. . .
when you're nice and fat. (Going over to GRETHEL and, shaking
her) Wake up, girl ! Wake up, I say. You've work to do.
GRETHEL (Sleepily) : What's the matter ? (She sits up, sees the
WITCH and is frightened.) Where is my brother?
WITCH : Your brother is in the cupboard with the rest of the food.
You're to get busy and cook so that we can fatten him up. Then
we'll see about cooking you. Now (Giving her a slap) get about
your business !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: The same as Scene 3. A few days later. '
AT RISE : The WITCH is sitting in her chair rocking peacefully.
GRETHEL is busy at the stove.
WITCH (Rising) : We'll see how your brother is getting on. He
must be about ready for eating. I'm tired of waiting. If he isn't
fat now I'll eat him anyway. (She goes to the cupboard and
knocks at the door.) Boy, put your finger out and let me see if
you're fattening up. (HANSEL sticks a bone through a hole in
the cupboard.)
WITCH (Feeling the bone thoughtfully) : Still pretty bony. I
can't see well, but it doesn't feel much fatter. I've waited long
enough. (Turning to GRETHEL) Girl! Climb in the oven and see
if it's hot. I'm going to eat your brother today.
GRETHEL: But you can't! He isn't fat yet. (Pleadingly) Why
don't you wait a couple of days more?
WITCH (Snapping) : Don't argue with me. I said today's the day.
(Chuckling) I'm in the mood for a tender boy, even if he is a
HANSEL AND GRETHEL 755
bit scrawny. (Smacking her lips) Today, him ! tomorrow, you.
Now do as I say! (GRETHEL doesn't move.)
WITCH : Climb in the oven, I say. (Waving her stick) Or I'll give
you a taste of this !
GRETHEL (Opening the oven) : I don't know how.
WITCH (Impatiently) : Stupid ! I'll show you. (She goes to the
oven and pokes her head in.)
GRETHEL (Shoving her in and slamming the door) Burn up, you
old witch! (She runs to the cupboard, unlocks it and lets
HANSEL out.)
HANSEL: What have you done with the witch?
GRETHEL (Laughing) : I'm cooking her. But let's not stay for din-
ner. We'll start for home and take something to eat on the way.
HANSEL : I know where she hides her gold ! I watched her through
the hole in the cupboard while she was counting it. (He runs
over to the chest in the corner and lifts the lid.) See. Grethel,
(Taking out bags of gold) bags and bags of gold — and look —
jewels ! If we can find our way home with this, we'll be rich and
father won't have to leave us in the forest again. You can wear
pretty dresses like a princess and we can eat candy every day.
GRETHEL (Wistfully) : Oh, Hans, if we only could find our way
home....
HANSEL: Don't you worry. We will. Now, fetch me that cloak
from the corner and we'll wrap the gold and jewels in it.
(GRETHEL runs happily for the cloak. They are busy emptying
the contents of the chest into it as the curtain falls.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 5
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE : The WOODCUTTER is sitting in a chair staring into the
fire. HANSEL and GRETHEL enter from right and stop short at
seeing him. Then GRETHEL goes to her father and touches him
gently on the shoulder.
756 HANSEL AND GRETHEL
GRETHEL: Father, it's Grethd.
WOODCUTTER (Starting and looking up) : Grethd ! No, it can't
be. (Burying -his face in his hands and moaning.) How could I
have been so wicked !
HANSEL (Going to him) : But we are here, father. We're safe.
WOODCUTTER (Looking up and from one to the other, sees it is
really his children and smiles joyfully) : My children ! You're
safe ! Thank Heaven ! Thank Heaven ! (He reaches out his arms
and embraces them.)
WOODCUTTER: I'll never let you go again. No matter what hap-
pens. Oh my children, can you ever forgive me?
GRETHEL : Of course, father. Everything is all right now.
HANSEL : And father, we're rich !
WOODCUTTER: Rich? What do you mean?
HANSEL : Wait. . . I'll show you ! (He runs out and returns drag-
ging the bulging knapsack they have made from the cloak. He
opens it displaying the jewels and gold. The WOODCUTTER stares
unbelievingly as HANSEL and GRETHEL open the bags and pour
the gold into his lap.)
THE END
PETER RABBIT
by Natalie Simonds
Characters
FLOPSY
MOPSY
COTTON-TAIL
PETER
MOTHER RABBIT
FARMER MCGREGOR
SCENE 1
SETTING: The rabbit-hole.
AT RISE: MOTHER RABBIT, FLOPSY, MOPSY, COTTON-TAIL and
PETER are seated around the breakfast table, just finishing their
meal.
MOTHER RABBIT: Now children, I have to get ready to go into
town and do some shopping.
FLOPSY: Can I go too, Mother?
MOPSY : Take me with you.
COTTON-TAIL : I wanna go.
PETER : Me, too.
MOTHER RABBIT: Children! Children! Be quiet! No, I can't take
you with me. I have too many errands. But I'll tell you what. . .
CHORUS (Quickly) : What?
MOTHER RABBIT : If you're very good children, you'll have a sur-
prise for supper. . . .
FLOPSY (Excitedly) : Red cabbage I
MOPSY (Stuttering in her eagerness) : R-r-r-radishes !
MOTHER RABBIT (Laughing) : No. You're both wrong. But if
you're good little rabbits and go into the fields to play or gather
berries, you may have currant buns tonight.
CHORUS (Rapturously) : Currant buns! (They all join hands and
757
75S PETER RABBIT
dance around the table singing.) We're going to have currant
buns ! We're going to have currant buns !
MOTHER RABBIT (Smiling) : Yes, but only if you're good You
are not under any circumstances to go into Fanner McGregor's
garden. Your poor father went in there and that was the last
we saw of him. (She takes a handkerchief from her apron folds
and dabs at her eyes. FLOPSY, MOPSY and COTTON-TAIL gather
round their mother trying to comfort her.)
FLOPSY (Stroking her cheek) : Don't cry, Mother.
MOPSY (Putting at her apron) : Please don't cry.
COTTON-TAIL : We'll be good. Honest we will.
PETER (Cocking his head to one side with a curious expression) :
What happened to Father?
MOTHER RABBIT (Removing the handkerchief from her eyes for
a minute) : I declare, Peter, you're the hopping1 image of your
poor father. Sometimes I think you'll come to the same bad end.
Always sticking your ears in someone else's business.
PETER (Insistently) : But what happened to Father?
MOTHER RABBIT (Burying her face in her handkerchief again and
sobbing loudly) : They put him in a pie, that's what! (There is
a silence and the children look at each other wide-eyed.)
MOTHER RABBIT (Dries her eyes; then briskly) : Well, that's over
and done with. But you children keep out of Farmer McGregor's
garden, and you won't end up on a plate. Now . . . (Rising) . . .
I'm going to town. (She goes off right.)
FLOPSY (After a moment) : Well, I'm going berrying. Who's
coming with me?
MOPSY: Me!
COTTON-TAIL: Me, too!
PETER (With great disgust) : Oh, you two! You always do what
Flopsy does.
MOPSY: What of it?
COTTON-TAIL: What are you going to do?
FLOPSY: You'd better come with us, Peter Rabbit, and keep out
of mischief. (Haughtily) Though I daresay I'll have trouble
enough watching Mopsy and Cotton-Tail. You're worse than
six rabbits.
PETER (Indignantly) : All right, smarty. Just for that I won't go
with you!
FLOPSY (B ossify) : Well, see that you don't go (With a sinister
note) . . . you know where.
PETER BABBIT 759
PETER (Innocently; he hasn't an idea in the world what she
means) : Where?
FLOPSY (Firmly) : You know where. (Sniffing) Though Fni sure
/ wouldn't be surprised if you ended up in a pie. (PETER opens
his mouth to utter a withering reply, but MOTHER RABBIT comes
back into the room. She is wearing her bonnet and cape and car-
ries a market basket. PETER is left standing there with his mouth
open.)
MOTHER RABBIT: I'm on my way. Be good children and don't
forget what I told you. And Peter . . .
PETER (Stupidly; he is still thinking) : Huh?
MOTHER RABBIT : Close your mouth ! (She goes off right.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: Farmer McGregor's garden.
AT RISE: PETER is hiding behind the fence watching FARMER
MCGREGOR pile carrots into a basket. As FARMER MCGREGOR
picks up the basket and goes off stage, PETER sneaks quickly
under the fence.
PETER : Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy ! Nobody's around now. Fm go-
ing to have a party. (Sniffing) They can have their berries. I'm
. going to have carrots and cabbage and ... oh boy ! RADISHES !
(He gathers a bunch of assorted vegetables, sits down antf be-
gins to eat with great relish. Suddenly he cocks his head to one
side and listens. His moutfais -full, but he picks up a bunch of
uneaten vegetables and looks around hurriedly for a hiding-place.
He spies the large watering-pot at left and jumps behind it as
FARMER MCGREGOR enters with rake in hand.)
FARMER MCGREGOR (Looking around and putting at his beard) :
Hmmph ! That's funny ! Could have sworn I heard one of those
760 PETER RABBIT
danged rabbits in here. Well (Brandishing his rake), just let
them DARE to sneak into my garden and eat my vegetables !
I'll fix 'em. Yessir! Like I fixed that last one that got in.
(Chuckles) Yessir! Sure fixed him! (PETER has poked his head
up but seeing FARMER MCGREGOR waving the rake, he ducks
down again. FARMER MCGREGOR starts to leave at right.)
PETER (From watering-pot) : KER-CHOO !
FARMER MCGREGOR (Turning back): Aha! (Advances menac-
ingly towards PETER'S hiding-place. PETER jumps up, takes in
the situation and decides to leave. He runs towards the fence.)
FARMER MCGREGOR (Waving the rake) : Aha! Caught in the act!
Come back here, you rascal. (He starts toward PETER, who is
already scrambling under the fence. In his haste he tears his
pants, leaving a large piece of them sticking to the fence, and
also drops a shoe.)
FARMER MCGREGOR (Shaking his fist in PETER'S direction) : Stop,
thief! Stop, I say! (PETER, after one quick backward look,
runs off stage.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE: FLOPSY, MOPSY and COTTON-TAIL are sitting at the table
sorting their berries. MOTHER RABBIT enters from right.
MOTHER RABBIT: Hello, children. Were you good rabbits while
I was away? (They all jump up and run to her, pulling at her
cape and trying to get a look in her market basket.)
CHORUS : Oh, yes, Mother ! We were very good.
FLOPSY: We picked lots of berries!
MOPSY (Trying to get hold of the market basket) : What did you
bring me?
PETER BABBIT 761
COTTON-TAIL: I wanna currant bun I
MOTHER RABBIT (Laughing) : All right, children. Let me get my
breath. (She takes off her cape and bonnet, sets down the bas-
ket and looks around.) Where's Peter?
FLOPSY: I don't know. I told him to come with us, but he
wouldn't
MOTHER RABBIT (Worriedly) : Oh, dear, I do hope he hasn't got
into trouble. (At this moment PETER pokes his head in at right,
sees that everyone is there and decides to face it. He takes a*
few cautious steps into the room.)
MOTHER RABBIT (Turning) : Oh, there you are, Peter. Well,
come in. Don't stand there. (Relieved) Thank heavens, you're
safe. Come and get washed up for supper. (Taking a good
look) PETER RABBIT! Look at your pants! And you have
only one shoe ! Oh, those lovely blue pants I made you. Look
at them!
PETER (Looking down dejectedly) : I couldn't help it. I got caught
in a fence.
MOTHER RABBIT (Seeing the light) : A fence ? A fence ! What
fence?
PETER (Nonchalantly) : Oh, just an old green fence.
MOTHER RABBIT (Sharply) : Peter, have you been in Farmer
McGregor's garden?
PETER (Meekly) : I guess I have. (Sorrowfully and with grow-
ing inspiration) I ran and ran and I'm awful tired and (Clutch-
ing his stomach) I don't feel welL (Starting to cry) 'I don't feel
well at all
MOTHER RABBIT (Looking at him sternly) : That's too bad., Well,
stop your crying. I'll fix you up. (She takes down a large bottle
from the shelf, and gets a spoon from the cupboard.) Come
here, Peter.
PETER (Understanding only too wett, he suddenly feels better) : I
fed better now. (MOTHER RABBIT goes over to him and takes
him by the ear.)
PETER (Crying again) : I feel better. I feel f-i-i-i-n-e. (MOTHER
RABBIT pours out a big spoonful of castor oil and forces it down
his throat. FLOPSY, MOPSY and COTTON-TAIL each take a cur-
rant bun from the basket and sit munching contentedly, as the
curtain falls.)
THE END
THE POT OF GOLD
by Claribel N. Spamer
Characters
RED FAIRY
ORANGE FAIRY
YELLOW FAIRY
GREEN FAIRY
BLUE FAIRY
VIOLET FAIRY
RICH MAN
OLD LADY
SUSAN
SCENE 1
SETTING: Outdoors after a shower.
AT RISE: The RAINBOW FAIRIES dance onto stage. Each is wear-
ing the color she represents.
BLUE FAIRY (Looking around) : We forgot the Pot of Gold.
GREEN FAIRY: So we did! We can't stay here without it. What
if someone should find us and no gold at our end?
YELLOW FAIRY (Stretching leisurely): Oh relax! No one has
ever found us yet
GREEN FAIRY (With .a worried frown) : But someday someone
wilL Everyone has heard of the Pot of Gold, and everyone is
eager to get it
RED FAIRY: Well, I don't care if he is. I think as Yellow does —
what difference does it make? If anyone finds us and there is
no gold to take home, then maybe he'll stay and play with us
instead. It'd be fun to have an earth child to play with for a
change*
VIOIBT FAIRY (Wistfully) : Yes, it would, wouldn't it?
ORANGE FAIRY: Well, as for me, I'm just glad to be on a visit to
762
THE POT OP GOLD
763
Earth again. I wish the old sun would shine through these
showers more often. It's ages since we were here last
BLUE FAIRY: Green, will you go back with me and get the Pot
of Gold?
GREEN FAIRY: Sure. It won't take long, and it will be a load off
my mind.
BLUE FAIRY (Looking at others) : Let's all go.
YELLOW FAIRY: Not me. I'm having too good a time. (Dances
about the stage. Others ignore the BLUE FAIRY.)
BLUE FAIRY : Well — come on then, Green. (BLUE and GREEN
FAIRIES exit.)
VIOLET FAIRY: People will think the Rainbow is fading if Green
and Blue don't hurry back. It's hardly time to fade yet
ORANGE FAIRY: Oh, they'll be right back. (GREEN and BLUE
FAIRIES reenter carrying the Pot of Gold between them.)
GREEN FAIRY: Here we are. Did anyone come?
YELLOW FAIRY: No, but I think I see someone now. (Looks off-
stage to right. Others also look, shading their eyes with their
hands.)
RED FAIRY: It's a man. He is well dressed. He looks very rich.
BLUE FAIRY : Him ! Goodness, he mustn't find us !
VIOLET FAIRY: Why not? Don't you think he'd play with us?
BLUE FAIRY: Mercy no! He's not interested in anything but
money! All he wants is more and more of it
GREEN FAIRY: Then our Pot of Gold is not for him. Let's go.
(They start off toward left, except the RED FAIRY, who lingers.)
RED FAIRY: Maybe he'd play if we asked him. (ORANGE FAIRY
reaches back and gives her a yank.)
ORANGE FAIRY: Come on. He wouldn't even notice us. He has
no eyes for anything but money. (FAIRIES exit. RICH MAN
enters at right.)
RICH MAN (Mopping brow) : I must have walked miles. I could
have sworn the Rainbow ended right here! But now it seems
to be gone. No — there it is. It's way over there now. (Looks
off to left. OLD LADY enters from right.)
OLD LADY: Did you find it? I've been behind you all the way,
but I couldn't catch up.
RICH MAN (Scornfully) : Find what?
OLD LADY: The End of the Rainbow of course. It was here; I
saw it You did too. What did you do with the gold? .
RICH MAN : There isn't any gold. You can see for yourself that
the Rainbow isn't here.
764 THE POT OF GOLD
OLD LADY : But it was here. And I bet you found it. I bet you
found the gold and have hidden it. I want half of it ! I came all
this way and I want half.
RICH MAN (With a sneer) : You! What would an old thing like
you do with gold? You don't need any. You're used to having
nothing.
OLD LADY (Angrily shaking her fist at him) : You old miser!
You've got everything you need. Yet you want more.
RICH MAN : Well, fighting won't get us anywhere. I'm going on
till I find that Rainbow's End. (Exits at left. OLD LADY fol-
lows. FAIRIES enter at right t carrying Pot of Gold.)
VIOLET FAIRY (With satisfaction) : The nicest part about being
fairies is the way we can dodge people. We can be practically
anywhere we want to be.
RED FAIRY: I bet the Old Lady would play with us. She's not
rich and proud.
BLUE FAIRY : I'll call her.
GREEN FAIRY : And then she can have the Pot of Gold. It would
be nice for her to have it. (BLUE starts to follow her, but
ORANGE holds her back.)
ORANGE FAIRY: No, don't bring her back. Let her follow the
Rich Man. She is poor, it is true, but she is stingy. She
wouldn't appreciate the gold any more than he would.
BLUE FAIRY: Are you sure?
YELLOW FAIRY : Yes, Orange is right. I've seen her lots of times
when we've been to Earth. She's nothing but a slovenly old
woman.
VIOLET FAIRY (Looking to right) : Here comes somebody else.
Shall we move again?
GREEN FAIRY (Looking up at the sky) : It's nearly time for us to
go back to heaven anyhow. The storm has been over quite
awhile now.
RED FAIRY (With disappointment) : Oh not yet! It's a little girl
this time.
BLUE FAIRY: It's Susan. She is a nice child. She loves pretty
things. She would adore playing with us.
RED FAIRY: Then let's wait for her. Please let's!
GREEN FAIRY : Well, I suppose we could. We aren't in that much
of a hurry. What do you say? (All the FAIRIES shout "yes."
SUSAN enters at right.)
SUSAN (Joyfully rushing up to them) : Oh, I've found it! I've
found the Rainbow! Aren't you beautiful — every single one
THE POT OF GOLD
765
of you! Oh how lovely I If I could only stay with you forever!
VIOLET FAIRY (Bashfully) : Are we really beautiful?
RED FAIRY (Eagerly) : Will you play with us a little while? You
are beautiful too. You're the first earth child we've ever been
close to.
SUSAN (Taking the RED and VIOLET FAIRIES' hands) : Certainly
I'll play with you. What would you like to play?
BLUE FAIRY (Holding out Pot of Gold to her) : Don't you want
the Pot of Gold? You've found the End of the Rainbow.
SUSAN (Taking the pot) : Pot of Gold?
GREEN FAIRY: That's at the End of the Rainbow. Don't tell me
you never heard of it!
SUSAN (Thoughtfully) : Yes — I guess I have — in stories. Is
this really it?
VIOLET FAIRY: Look inside. ( SUSAN looks inside, and lifts out
piles of yellow flowers.)
SUSAN : Dandelions ! Marsh marigolds ! Buttercups ! Aren't they
lovely. Are they mine ?
ALL THE FAIRIES : All yours.
GREEN FAIRY: Oh goodness, we must go. Come on, Fairies.
We must go now. (Picking up the empty pot, she exits followed
by the others. SUSAN watches.)
FAIRIES (Calling back) : Goodbye, Susan.
SUSAN: Goodbye, Rainbow. Oh dear, they couldn't stay long.
But I still have my flowers. (RiCH MAN and OLD WOMAN re-
enter from left.)
RICH MAN (Crossly) : See! We didn't get there on time. All
because you stopped to argue with me I
OLD LADY: Hold your tongue. I'm glad we didn't. You've got
too much money already.
SUSAN (Seeing them, and holding out her flowers) : Look what I
found. The Pot of Gold!
RICH MAN and OLD LADY (Excitedly) : Where? Where?
SUSAN : Why — right here !
RICH MAN (Scoffing) : Dandelions ! They're nothing but weeds !
You must be crazy! (Exits in disgust.)
OLD LADY: Pot of Gold indeed! (Shaking her head, she exits
mumbling.)
SUSAN : It's a shame they didn't see how pretty they are. They
didn't even half look at them. Oh well, Mother will like them
anyway. I'll take them home and show them to her. When I
tell her I found the Pot of Gold, she'll believe me. (Exits.)
THE END
THE TEST
by Loretta Capett Tobey
Characters
THE KING
THE COUNSELOR, who has a loud voice and pompous manner
PRINCE RED CAP
PRINCE BLUE CAP
PRINCE GREEN CAP
PRINCE WHITE CAP
EENIE, page to PRINCE RED CAP
MEENIE, page to PRINCE BLUE CAP
MINEY, page to PRINCE GREEN CAP
Mo, page to PRINCE WHITE CAP
HERALD
LORDS and LADIES of the court (any number)
HERALDS
SCENE 1
SETTING: The Throne Room in the Castle.
AT RISE: The KING is on his throne with his COUNSELOR near
him. LORDS and LADIES-IN-WAITING, HERALDS and PAGES are
grouped around the throne. The KING speaks in a quick, rather
uncertain manner; the COUNSELOR is very pompous and dig-
nified.
KING: And so, oh, wisest of counselors, I am sure you will agree
with me. The choice of a worthy successor to my throne is a
very important matter indeed!
COUNSELOR: My king, it is indeed of the greatest importance!
But surely any one of your fine sons would make a worthy suc-
cessor. Pour splendid princes!
KING : Aye — four fine sons have I ! Each is worthy of this hon-
or. But which one, I wonder? (Thoughtfully) Prince Red Cap
. . . Prince Blue Cap ... Prince Green Cap ... Prince White
766
THE TEST 767
Cap. . . . Each is honest, kind, and true. Each has a keen in-
telligence and ready wit! Which would be best?
COUNSELOR: Perhaps a task, oh king! Some trial to determine
each prince's courage and honesty?
KING: They have been tested many times, counselor. Each is
equally as brave, as kind, as honest, as clever as the other ! It is
a weighty problem indeed!
COUNSELOR: But how about wisdom? Not wisdom in the great
undertakings, doubtless each has this quality, but judgment in
the little things!
KING (Attentively): Ah ... you interest me, counselor! And
what test might you suggest to determine which of my sons has
this "best judgment in little things" and so prove himself to be
the most worthy successor to my throne?
COUNSELOR (In deep thought) : Let — me — think — a moment.
.. .Ah, I have it!
KING (Eagerly) : Yes? Yes?
COUNSELOR: Think, oh king! What little things do we use con-
stantly, in everything that we do ? With various delicate shades
of meanings?
KING (Bewildered) : What, indeed!
COUNSELOR (In triumph) : Words, your majesty, words !
KING (Puzzled): Words? Words?
COUNSELOR: Yes! Have the princes the judgment to choose ex-
actly the right word for the right place?
KING (Angrily) : Of course they have! All of th^m!
COUNSELOR: But wait! Have you ever thought how almost im-
possible it is to find two words with exactly the same meaning?
KING (Laughing heartily): Ho, Ho, Ho! Impossible, indeed!
What a task that would be! I could name a dozen, now!
COUNSELOR: Name them.
KING : Well — er — (Thinks a moment) Oh, ho ! I have not only
two, but three words with the same meaning!
COUNSELOR (Patiently) : Name them!
KING (Triumphantly) : Fog — mist — and haze! Exactly alike!
Ho, ho! What a test, what a test!
COUNSELOR: Ah, but majesty, they are not exactly alike! They .
are only similar. A haze is a very thin mist. A mist is a very thin
fog, A fog is much denser than the other two !
KING (Nonplussed) : Well — er — I always thought — You are
768 THE TEST
right, of course. Let me think again. Well, how about vast
and huge?
COUNSELOR: Nearly the same again, but the meanings are really
quite different. Vast is used to describe something that extends
for a long distance, such as an ocean or range of mountains.
Huge is used to describe something of great bulk, like an ele-
phant or large building. You see, it is not so easy !
KING: I see, oh wise one. . . . You are right. (Convinced at last.)
Of course ! The test ! I will have the pages summon the princes.
(As the KING calls, each PAGE comes to the foot of the throne
and bows deeply.) Eenie! Meenie! Miney! Mo! (Mo is sound
asleep!) Mo! Mo! Wake up that page, somebody! (The HER-
ALDS shake Mo, who stumbles to the foot of the throne, rubbing
his eyes.) You are to summon your masters, the princes, at once!
(Droll music as the pages depart. The KING shakes his head a
little doubtfully, then talks to the COUNSELOR again.) I hope this
will work, counselor, but it seems too easy. Ah, I have the an-
swer myself ! I am sure of it this time !
COUNSELOR: And the words?
KING: My appetite has suggested them! Luscious and delicious.
Exactly alike, or my throne is tottering!
COUNSELOR : It totters, then ! For they are different, indeed ! One
uses the word luscious in speaking of something juicy — fruit,
for instance. Delicious may describe anything exceptionally good
to eat.
KING : I give it up. If one of the princes is able to find the words*
he is deserving of the throne, indeed ! And here are the pages
with their young majesties. (Music plays as the PAGES and
PRINCES march in. Each comes to the throne in turn and bows
to the KING.)
RED CAP : Oh, king. . .
BLUE CAP : We are here . . .
GREEN CAP : And await . . .
WHITE CAP: Your pleasure!
KING: My sons, a weighty matter is -before us! I must choose
from among you a worthy successor to my throne. And so my
wise counselor has suggested a test!
PRINCES: A test?
KING : You are all brave princes, and true. All are kind and loyal.
This test is to be an unusual one !
THE TEST 769
PRINCES (Eagerly) : Yes, yes! What can it be?
KING : It is a test of words !
PRINCES (Puzzled) : Words?
KING: The counselor will explain.
COUNSELOR: To be a really great king, oh youthful majesties,
wisdom is of the utmost importance ! Not only wisdom in the
great things, but judgment in those so small that they may seem
unimportant. Many of our words seem so alike in meaning that
they are often misused. It is important that the new king should
have the judgment and precision to detect these differences in
meaning, and so use the words correctly. The test is this.
There are many words with similar meanings. But you are to
find two with exactly the same meaning! (The PRINCES, who
have been listening attentively, rather puzzled at first, now take
it as a joke!)
PRINCES: Ho, hoi That's easy! I can think of them already!
(Etc., etc.)
WHITE CAP (Puzzled) : I don't think it is so easy! I can't think
of any!
KING : Wait ! It is not so easy ! The meaning must be exact! And
you will have only one hour in which to find the words. You
may consult only your own page — no one else! Of course the
palace library is at your disposal. Away now, and return within
the hour! (The PRINCES go out laughing, cul except PRINCE
WHITE CAP, who is very thoughtful. Mo, always the awkward
one, stumbles and nearly falls as he goes out.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : A small study near the palace library.
AT RISE : Enter PRINCE RED CAP and EENIE. They are laughing.
770 THE TEST
RED CAP: Well, Eenie, my friend, this is one of the simplest
things we have had to do in a long time!
EENIE: Ho, ho! You are right, majesty! A fine test, indeed!
RED CAP: No need of books or papers either. We'll just use our
wits a moment and settle the thing. Then we'll have a fine game
until the hour is up.
EENIE : Good ! Then the faster we think, the more time for play !
Well, let's think! {Each sits, chin in hand, thinking. In a mo-
ment EENIE has an inspiration!)
EENIE: I have it! How about surprise and astonish?
RED CAP (Thoughtfully) : They do mean the same, don't they?
But wait! I believe astonish means much more than surprise!
EENIE : You are right, prince. We might be surprised if it rained
on a sunny day, but if it rained daisies we'd be astonished!
RED CAP (Laughing) : Ha, ha, that's a good one! Well — (They
think hard again.) How about obtain and receive?
EENIE: And acquire. That means the same thing, too, doesn't it?
RED CAP: We'll surprise them! They'll be astonished! Three
alike instead of two !
EENIE (Doubtfully) : I — don't — know. I've been thinking. I
don't believe they are exactly alike.
RED CAP: No? How's that?
EENIE: It's this way. If someone hands you something, you re-
ceive it, but you have to work to obtain anything. Do something
about it, I mean. And if you acquire something, you expect to
keepitl
RED CAP : Yes, I see they are different. (He is tired of so much
deep thought.) Ho, hum! It is not so easy as we thought, is it?
Well, let's try again. (Deep concentration)
EENIE: I have it!
RED CAP: Sh — not so loud. If you have the right one, the others
must not hear! (EENIE whispers in his ear. He smiles, delight-
edly.) Right, this time! And only a few moments of the hour
gone! Now we can have our game!
EENIE: Fine! Off we go! (Exit, laughing. Enter PRINCE BLUE
CAP and MEENIE. They are breathless as if from running.)
BLUE CAP : What a fine run! And there is still plenty of time to
think of the words.
MEENIE: It won't take a minute. Oh, hum! Let's think fast.
Then maybe we will have time for a little nap before the hour
is up. (They sit in deep concentration for a moment.)
THE TEST 771
BLUE CAP: Let's see. . . . How about chore and task?
MEENIE: I am sure those are not the same. A chore is a light bit
of work that is done regularly. A task is something harder,
something we do because we have to ! Finding two words with
the same meaning is a task!
BLUE CAP : But not a hard task, Meenie. It should be easy. Let's
try again. Ah, I have it! How about stop and quit? They
mean the same, surely.
MEENIE: No, majesty, I am afraid you are wrong! You might
stop your work and rest a while, and then go on again. But
when you quit you would leave it for good! Do you see the
difference?
BLUE CAP (Discouraged) : Y — yes. Well — it — isn't — so
— easy!
MEENIE: Let's not be discouraged! How about breeze and wind
— and squall and gale? They seem alike!
BLUE CAP : Now it's my turn to explain the difference ! A breeze
is only a little wind. A squall blows much faster than a wind,
and a gale blows the fastest of them all !
MEENIE: Oh, well, never mind! I have thought of two others.
Listen ! Looking and observing! You can't find any difference
in those, can you?
BLUE CAP : Let — me — think. No, those will not do. We could
be looking at something and not really observing it at all! See?
(Pause. Deep concentration.)
MEENIE (Jumping up) : Ah!
BLUE CAP: Do you have it?
MEENIE: Sh! Come closer! (Whispers to the PRINCE.)
BLUE CAP: Hurrah! At last! Oh! Hum! Such deep thinking has
surely mfade me sleepy! Now for a little nap before the hour is •
up.
MEENIE (Looking at clock, which has been moved ahead again) :
There's plenty of time. (They saunter off, yawning and stretch-
ing. Enter PRINCE GREEN CAP and MINEY. They are hurrying.)
GREEN CAP (Glancing at clock) : Hurry, Miney! We spent too
much time chasing the rabbit. We must think of the words now !
MINEY (Lazily) : There's no hurry, prince. We have plenty of
time! It will only take a minute!
GREEN CAP: Well, let's think hard and fast then. And maybe
there will still be time to hunt the rabbit ! (Deep concentration.)
772 THE TEST
MINEY: I am so tired, after that chase! Well, now, there's an
idea! How about tired and exhausted? Don't they mean the
same, prince?
GREEN CAP: Now you know better than that, Miney! You can
be tired without being exhausted.
MINEY: Y — yes. I suppose so. I am so tired I am just about
exhausted. (They think again) Well, do shrub and bush mean
the same? I always thought they did.
GREEN CAP : Let — me — think : No, they are not the same. I
remember reading that a bush grows several stems from the
root, while a shrub has only one, like a little tree.
MINEY: I don't believe there are two words alike!
GREEN CAP : There must be ! Wait ! How about coils and spirals f
Aren't they alike?
MINEY : No, you are wrong. I can show you the difference with
this wire. (Demonstrates) These are coils. These are spirals.
Do you see the difference?
GREEN CAP : I never thought of that before.
GREEN CAP : How about stupendous and tremendous f
MINEY : And enormous, too. They seem to be alike !
GREEN CAP: Let's look them up in the big book to be sure.
(Studies in book a moment) No, they won't do! Enormous
means something bigger than normal. Stupendous means some-
thing so amazing that it would stupefy one. Tremendous means
something so dreadful that it would make one tremble to see it !
MINEY : Whew ! There is a difference there !
GREEN CAP: But we must hurry! Time is flying! (The hands on
the clock have been moved.) We must think fast!
MINEY (After a momenfs thought) : I have a good one !
* GREEN CAP (Eagerly) : Yes?
MINEY : Prudence and wisdom!
GREEN CAP : They seem the same 1 1 believe you have found them !
But no, I'm not so sure! (Thinks a moment) You see, a pru-
dent person is one who avoids a difficult situation. A wise man
knows how to handle it when it comes !
MINEY : We don't seem to be wise enough to handle this situation,
do we? (They think again.)
GREEN CAP: Miney! Miney! I have them at last!
MINEY: Tell me! But don't let anyone hear! (PRINCE whispers
in his ear.) Right! No chance of going wrong with those!
(Looks at clock) And there's still time left!
THE TEST
773
GREEN CAP: We will find that rabbit hole! (GREEN CAP and
MINEY run out, left. Enter WHITE CAP and Mo, who is lagging
far behind. He is staggering under, a great load of books which
slip and fall as he enters.)
WHITE CAP : Well, Mo, we have been through the biggest books
in the library. There don't seem to be any two words with the
same meaning! Mo! Mo! Be careful!
Mo (As he picks up the books) : I found a few more books, Prince
White Cap. Maybe we can find the words in them !
WHITE CAP : I knew when we started, Mo, that this was going to
be a hard thing to do ! That's why we hurried straight to the
big library to make the most of every minute ! But we've hunt-
ed everywhere! And now the time is nearly up! Words seem
to mean the same and yet, when we study them a little, we find
that they are really different.
Mo (Arranging the new books, busily) : Perhaps, if we hunt
through these, prince, we might find them. There's still a little
time!
WHITE CAP : We won't give up until the last minute ! Let's see
what we can find ! (Both study intently.)
Mo (Dropping his book in excitement) : Oh, oh ! I believe I have
it! Look here!
WHITE CAP (Reading over his shoulder) : Hm — m — m —
elastic — pliant — well — n-no not quite, Mo I Something pliant
is something that can be bent without breaking. Something
elastic must spring back to its original shape again. Do you see
the difference. I'll show you. (Demonstrates) This wire is
pliant. But this willow branch is elastic.
Mo (Nodding his head) : Yes, I see the difference now. Weil,
I'll see if there is anything else here. How about acquiesce and
agree? I don't believe you can find any fault with those.
WHITE CAP (In excitement) : I believe they do mean the same,
Mo!
WHITE CAP: Have we really found the right ones?
Mo (In a discouraged tone as he studies further) : No, Im afraid
not It explains that to acquiesce in something means that you
agree rather against your will, reluctantly.
WHITE CAP: I see! Against your better judgment But when
you agree you do it willingly, (They are both much discouraged)
Mo, the time is nearly up. What can we do ? We have no words
to report to my father.
774 THE TEST
Mo (Turning over the pages, frantically) : I am still hunting,
prince. But I have nearly finished the book. Wait! This may
do! How about restive and restless ? Surely they mean the
same!
WHITE CAP : No, they sound alike, but the meaning is quite dif-
ferent! One may be restless and not be able to help it. One is
restive in an obstinate way! A donkey is often restive!
Mo (Discouraged) : I am afraid there are no more ! This is the
last page! What can we do?
WHITE CAP: And only two minutes before the hour is up! (The
clock shows this time.) Read fast, Mo! Read fast! And I will
think.
Mo (Nearly overcome with excitement, pointing to bottom of
page) : Prince! Prince! Here on the last page! At the very
bottom! Look!
WHITE CAP: Why — I — believe — you're — right! At last!
But — the time! (Looks at clock) Is it too late? No, there's a
chance to make it ! Come quickly, Mo. We must hurry, hurry !
The clock is nearly ready to strike. (They run off, left. Mo tries
to carry the big book. It slips from under his arm and he stops
to pick it up. He stumbles as he goes.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING : Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE: The KING and his attendants are listening to the chim-
ing of the clock. All of the PRINCES are present except WHITE
CAP. On the last stroke he rushes in dragging Mo behind him.
Mo drops the book again in his hurry.
KING (Severely) : You are nearly late, my son.
WHITE CAP: Sorry, Father.
KING: Attention, all! Herald, read the proclamation!
THE TEST 775
HERALD (Reading from scroll) : We are assembled at this hour
to choose a worthy successor to the throne of the king! The
counselor will explain the test t>f the four princes.
COUNSELOR: The test seems a simple one. In reality it is quite
difficult. The prince who has discovered two words with exactly
the same meaning will become the new king. Princes, are you
ready?
PRINCES : We are ready.
WHITE CAP: And I! I am ready, too!
HERALD: Prince Red Cap, as the oldest son, will you speak first?
(As each PRINCE has his turn, he comes to the foot of the
throne, bows, and speaks loudly and clearly.)
RED CAP : The words that I have found, oh king, are ... tempest
and hurricane!
KING (Smiling) : They seem alike, to be sure. Has he suc-
ceeded, counselor?
COUNSELOR (Shaking his head) : No ... these have not exactly
the same meaning! Both are windstorms, to be sure. But a
tempest has heavy rains with the wind, while a hurricane may
be only wind, without rain. (The PRINCE hangs his head in
disappointment.)
KING (Kindly) : But not so bad, my son, not so bad! Come, sit
here at my feet. (PRINCE sits at foot of throne.)
HERALD: Prince Blue Cap, are you ready?
BLUE CAP: I am ready, oh, king! My words are ... spumed and
rejected. I am sure their meaning is the samel
COUNSELOR: They are similar, but not the same, Prince Blue Cap.
Spurned means somewhat more than rejected. You may refect
a plan for which you have respect and interest, but if you spurn
it, you have scorn or contempt for it. I am sure that such a
wise prince can see the difference! (PRINCE shows disappoint-
ment.)
KING: But very near, my son, very near! Come, sit beside your
brother. (PRINCE sits at foot of throne.)
HERALD: Prince Green Cap, are you ready.
GREEN CAP: I am ready, oh king. My words are enough and
sufficient. 1 can see no difference in them at alL
COUNSELOR: But there is a difference, I fear! Take a very greedy
person, for instance. He may have sufficient for his needs, but
he never thinks that he has enough, does he? (Laughter in the
776 THE TEST
room. The KING beckons to the disappointed PRINCE, who sit*
beside his brothers.)
KING: A very close shade of meaning there. Very close. I am
really proud of you, my sons. And now the youngest. Can he
have won the test when his elder brothers could not?
Mo (Very much excited) : Yes, yes, yes! We have it!
WHITE CAP : Hush, Mo ! Wait !
HERALD: Prince White Cap, are you ready?
WHITE CAP : Yes, I have accomplished the task.
Mo (More and more excited) : Yes, yes, yes, we found the words.
At the very end of the book.
WHITE CAP: Sh! Quiet, Mo! ... The words are ... finis and
end. They are exactly alike, I believe.
Mo (Quite beside himself) : Yes,, yes, they are alike . . . they are.
KING: Well, well, well !
COUNSELOR: At last! Exactly alike! Finis means end. No more
... no less ! The prince has fulfilled the task, oh king. A worthy
crown prince, indeed!
KING: The throne is yours, my son. Come and sit beside me.
Mo (Whispering to WHITE CAP) : But how about met I found
them for you! (The PRINCE nods, and as he climbs up beside
the KING he drags Mo with him. They stand, one on each side
of the KING. Mo fingers his arm holes in pride.)
KING: Herald, proclaim the new king.
HERALD (Blowing bugle) : Hail to the king! King White Cap
has ascended to the throne! (WHITE CAP reaches over the
KING'S head to shake hands with Mo.
THE END
PUSS-IN-BOOTS
by Alice Very
Characters*
PUSS-IN-BOOTS
TOM, the Miller's youngest son, later
The Marquis of Cardbas
TACK "1
JOE } ** ^others
DONKEY, two persons
HERALDS
GUARDS
LORDS
LADIES
KING
PRINCESS
REAPERS
OGRE
SERVANTS of Ogre
SCENE 1
SETTING: Interior of grist mill.
AT RISE : Puss lies stretched out beside sacks, as if dead. MOUSE
moves- across floor to flour bag. Puss leaps up and pounces on
MOUSE. Enter TOM, shabby and dusty.
TOM (Clapping handsel Attaboy! Smart cat! You always fool
them. (Puss drags MOUSE off. Enter JACK and JOE, leading
DONKEY to door. DONKEY sticks head and front feet inside,
flaps ears.)
JACK : I'm the biggest, so I get the mill.
JOE: I'm next, so I get the donkey.
TOM: What do I get?
JACK: Oh, you can have the cat. (Puss r centers, licking chops.)
777
778 PUSS-IN-BOOTS
JOE (To JACK) : Let's be partners. You need my donkey to carry
your bags of flour.
TOM: Will you pay me for letting my Puss catch rats in your
mill?
JACK: Yes, you can have the rats to eat
TOM: Is that all?
JOE: You can eat the cat if you like.
Puss: Meow! (ToM pets Puss.)
JACK (Singing) :
There was a jolly miller once
Lived on the river Dee;
He worked and sung from morn till night,
No lark more blithe than he.
And this the burden of his song,
Forever used to be —
JOE (Joining in chorus with JACK) :
I care for nobody, no, not I,
Since nobody cares for me.
TOM : Nobody cares for me, I see.
JACK : Come on, load him up.
JOE: Here goes! (JACK and JOE load sacks of flour on DONKEY
and lead him away, JACK pulling him with rope, JOE pushing be-
hind, both whistling tune of "Jolly Miller!9)
TOM (Sitting on remaining bag and stroking Puss) : Poor Pussy !
What shall we do?
Puss (Rubbing against TOM): Purr, purr! Don't worry, dear
master. Just give me a pair of boots and a bag, and I'll show
you what I can do.
TOM : A pair of boots ! Wait, I have some that will just fit you.
(Takes boots from comer and puts them on Puss.) You can
have my hat and jacket too, if you like. (Puts hat and jacket
on Puss.)
Puss: Now the bag.
TOM: Here's an empty flour sack. (Ties sack over Puss's
shoulder.)
Puss : Who ever saw such a fine Puss-in-Boots ! (Struts out door.
TOM sits down again, head in hands.)
TOM: What can a cat do? Still, he's smart. Look at the tricks
he plays on rats and mice ! (Sound of hen cackling offstage stops
suddenly. Enter Puss, carrying something in his bag.)
Puss: Here, master, I've caught a fine fat hen for your supper.
PUSS-IN-BOOTS 779
(Gives bag to TOM.) Now we won't go hungry — and you won't
need to eat me!
TOM (Looking tw, bag) : Well, what do you know ! You are a
smart cat ! (Pate Puss, who purrs and rubs against TOM.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING: A grassy meadow. Enter TOM and Puss-iN-Boars.
Puss: They say the King and the Princess often pass this way to
take the air.
TOM : Oh, yes, the Princess! How pretty she isl (Sighs.)
Puss : Perhaps they will come today. Why don't you speak to her ?
TOM.: Who, me? In these shabby clothes!
Puss: Well, you might wash in the river. Then at least you
wouldn't be so dirty !
TOMI: That's a good idea. I'll undress behind this tree. (Exits
behind tree.)
Puss: Now watch me sneak up and get his clothes while he's in
the water! (A loud splash offstage.) There he goes! (Puss
slips back of tree and returns with TOM'S clothes, which he stuffs
in the bag, taking out rabbit from bag.) Now what shall I do
with this rabbit? There isn't room for both. (Sounds of bugles
offstage. Enter HERAIJW, from left, with bugles, GUARDS with
spears, LORDS and LADIES, and the KING and the PRINCESS.)
KING (To PRINCESS) : A lovely day for a walk, my dear.
PRINCESS : Yes, if only there were some company.
KING : Company ! What do you call all these people?
PRINCESS : I mean someone to talk to. Pardon me, Sire, but it is
dull to be a Princess. (Yawns behind fan.)
Puss-iN-Boors (Taking off hat with a low bow) : Your Majesty,
may I present a rabbit from my noble lord, the Marquis of
Carabas?
PRINCESS : The Marquis of Carabas !
KING (Taking rabbit and handing it to a LORD to carry) : Tell
your master I thank him, and he does me a great deal of pleas-
780 PUSS-IN-BOOTS
ure. (To PRINCESS) Did you ever hear of this Marquis of
Car abas?
PRINCESS : I think so. I'm sure if I saw him I'd know him.
Puss (Who has run to river bank) : Help! Help! My Lord the
Marquis of Carabas is drowning!
KING (To GUARDS) : Run, save the noble lord! (GUARDS drop
spears and run back of tree.)
PRINCESS: Oh, the poor man!
Puss (Bowing to KING) : Your Majesty, I am sorry to say, while
my master was bathing some thieves ran away with his clothes,
and now he has nothing to wear !
KING: What a mean trick! (To LORD) Sir, run to my wardrobe
and bring a suit of my best clothes for His Lordship. (LORD
runs off.)
TOM (Shouting offstage) : Here, what's the meaning of this ?
Where are my clothes?
GUARD (Offstage) : Take it easy, sir. You're all right now. (Re-
enter LORD, puffing and panting, with clothes which he car-
ries, behind tree.)
PRINCESS: I cannot wait to see this noble lord. (Enter TOM, rich-
ly dressed.)
Puss (Bowing) : Your Majesty, my Lord the Marquis of
Carabas!
TOM (Taking off hat and bowing) : Your Majesty! How can I
thank you?
KING: Be pleased to join us in our walk, Marquis.
PRINCESS: I am so glad you were not drowned.
TOM (Kissing her hand) : A thousand thanks, Your Highness !
(The KING with his party and TOM stroU off, left. Puss looks
after them, stroking his whiskers and purring. Enter REAPERS,
right, carrying scythe, sickle, rake, etc.)
REAPERS (Singing) :
Shall we show you how the farmer,
Shafl we show you how the farmer,
Shall we show you how the farmer
Mows his barley and rye? (Mowing)
Look 'tis thus the busy farmer,
Look 'tis thus the busy farmer,
Look 'tis thus the busy farmer
Mows his barley and rye.
Puss: Well, good people, whose land do you think this is?
PUSS-IN-BOOTS
781
FIRST REAPER: This land belongs to a cruel ogre.
SECOND REAPER: He makes us work and slave for him.
FIRST REAPER: He is a powerful magician and can turn himself
into all kinds of animals.
SECOND REAPER: They say he turns into a lion sometimes and
eats people I
Puss : All the same, that Ogre has no right to this land. It belongs
to my master, the Marquis of Carabas.
REAPERS : Is that so ?
Puss (Fiercely) : Yes, it is; and if you don't tell the King so
when he passes this way you shall be chopped as small as mince
meat!
FIRST REAPER: Oh, dear! That's worse than the Ogre!
SECOND REAPER : We'll tell him just what you said.
Puss : Be sure you say the Marquis of Carabas. (Enter KING,
PRINCESS, TOM and COURTIERS, left.)
KING: This is a fine meadow. (To REAPERS) To whom does it
belong?
REAPERS (Bowing low) : To our Lord the Marquis of Carabas,
Your Majesty.
TOM : You see, Sire, it always yields a good crop every year.
KING: And I suppose yonder castle (Pointing) is also yours?
Will you lead us thither?
TOM : Why, Sire, I — ah —
Puss (Winking1 at TOM) : I'll go on ahead and make all ready.
(Exits.)
TOM: I shall be charmed, Sire. (TOM offers hand to PRINCESS.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
SETTING : Hall of OGRE'S castle. At head of a heavy table, spread
with plenty of food and drink, sits the OGRE, in a large armchair.
Enter SERVANT, foUowed by PUSS-IN-BOOTS.
OGRE: Grrumph!
SERVANT (Bowing) : A cat, sir !
OGRE: What's that? A cat?
782 PUSS-IN-BOOTS
Puss (Bowing) : If it please you, sir, I could not pass so fine a
castle without paying my respects to you, sir.
OGRE: Sit down there. You have heard about me, then?
Puss : I have heard of your great powers, but I really can't be-
lieve all I am told. They say you can even change yourself
into an animal, like a lion or an elephant.
OGRE: You don't believe it? Well, you shall see. (Goes through
door back of chair. Puss sticks paw into dish on table and licks
paw. OGRE reenters in lion's •form.)
OGRE (Roaring) : Grrrr !
Puss (Jumping) : Meow! (Puss scrambles up on table, losing
boots as he climbs. OGRE leaps about hall, roaring, then exits and
reenters in his own -form.)
OGRE : I scared you, didn't I ?
Puss (Getting down off table) : Yes, sir, I must say I was a little
bit scared. I see you can turn into a lion ; but there is something
else they told me that I still can't believe.
OGRE: And what is that?
Puss : They said that you could turn yourself into a mouse or a
rat, but of course you couldn't make yourself as small as that.
OGRE : Oh, I can't can't I ? Well, I'll show you ! (Exits as before.
A MOUSE runs out across floor, as in Act I. Puss leaps on
MOUSE and makes show of crunching with teeth while hiding
MOUSE in bag.)
Puss : There, that's the last of Mr. Ogre! (Puts on boots and seats
himself in OGRE'S chair. Sound of bugles offstage. Enter
SERVANT.)
SERVANT (Bowing) : His Majesty the King, Her Royal Highness
the Princess, and His Lordship the Marquis of Carabas, sir !
Puss: Very well, I will see them in the shape of a cat. (Enter
KING, PRINCESS, TOM, LORDS and LADIES.)
Puss (Rising and bowing) : Welcome to the home of the Marquis
of Carabas, Your Majesty!
KING: What a splendid castle you have, my Lord Marquis!
TOM : Yes, Sire. May it please you to sit down and dine with me?
(KING, PRINCESS, TOM, LOEDS and LADIES sit at table. Puss
waits on them, pouring drinks in glasses.)
PRINCESS : You have a most uncommon cat, sir.
TOM : Yes, and clever as he is handsome, Your Highness.
KING (Lifting glass.) : To your health, my dear Marquis, and may
you do me the honor of marrying my daughter!
PUSS-IK-BOOTS 783
TOM : Sire, it will make me happy if Her Highness will consent
(Dropping to one knee before the PRINCESS.)
PRINCESS: Dear Marquis, I consented the moment I saw you!
(Taking her hand, TOM and the PRINCESS bow and curtsy to the
KING.)
TOM: And now I have only one more favor to ask of Your
Majesty.
KING: What is it, my son?
TOM : That Your Majesty grant knighthood to my faithful ser-
vant, Puss-in-Boots.
KING (Rising) : Come, Puss, kneel down before me. (Puss
kneels before KING. Drawing sword, the KING taps Puss on
the shoulder.) Sir Puss, I dub thee Knight!
ALL; Hurrah for Sir Puss-in-Boots! (HERALDS march in, blow-
ing bugles, and GUARDS present arms. Puss bows.)
THE END
THE THREE SILLIES
by Alice Very
Characters
MUTTONCHOP
MRS. MUTTONCHOP
LILY Lou, their daughter
MR. FUDDYMAN, her suitor
JIM, a farm hand
JOANN, a maid
FARMER JONAS
FARMER HODGE
A CAT (black)
A Cow
NEIGHBORS
SETTING: A farmyard.
AT RISE: The BLACK CAT doses in the porch. Enter MR. FUDDY-
MAN, dressed in his best.
FUDDYMAN (Calling) : Friend Muttonchop, say, are you there?
MUTTONCHOP (Running from house, with outstretched hands) :
Why, Fuddyman, I do declare !
FUDDYMAN :
I've come here, as I planned with you,
To court your daughter, Lily Lou.
(Starts to walk under ladder toward MUTTONCHOP.)
MUTTONCHOP : No, No ! Don't take another step !
FUDDYMAN :
What! That's the way your word is kept?
Last night you promised if I had her —
MUTTONCHOP: Yes, but don't walk beneath that ladder.
FUDDYMAN (Walking around) :
I didn't mean any harm.
MUTTONCHOP :
My daughter must not take alarm.
She's such a timid little creature
784
THE THREE SILLIES 785
We must protect her tender nature. (Calling) Oh, Mrs. Mut-
tonchop, come here I (Enter MRS. MUTTONCHOP, all smiles.
With a wave of his hand.) Your future son-in-law, my dear.
(As MRS. MUTTONCHOP starts to greet MR. FUDDYMAN the
BLACK CAT crosses the yard.)
MRS. MUTTONCHOP (Screaming) : Oh, mercy!
MR. FUDDYMAN : Am I bad as that?
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: No, no, not you — the cat!
MUTTONCHOP: Scat! Scat! (MUTTONCHOP and FUDDYMAN
chase CAT into barn.)
CAT: Meow!
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: It's most unlucky!
FUDDYMAN :
I'm perplexed.
What luckless thing shall I see next?
(Enter LILY Lou, plump and red-cheeked.)
LILY Lou: You called me?
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: Mr. Fuddyraan has come to ask for your
hand.
LILY Lou : My hand? I thought he wanted me !
FUDDYMAN: And so I do, if you'll agree. (Giving her a ring.)
This ring may help you to decide.
LILY Lou :
Well, I'll consent to be your bride.
The ring is pretty and you're kind.
FUDDYMAN : Then let us seal it with a kiss. (LiLY Lou starts to-
ward FUDDYMAN; stops suddenly with a look of horror.)
LILY Lou : Oh, dear !
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: My daughter, what's amiss?
FUDDYMAN : Don't tell me you have changed your mind?
LILY Lou :
Oh, no, I only saw the moon
Over my shoulder — Oh, I'll swoon !
FUDDYMAN (Offering his arm) :
If you'll allow me, I've heard tell,
A pinch of salt will break the spell.
MUTTONCHOP:
A bite of food will cheer her up.
It's nearly time for us to sup.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP:
I'll fry some collops in the spider,
786 THE THREE SILLIES
And send her for a jug of cider.
MUTTONCHOP :
And while you're busy at your labors,
111 send our Jim to tell the neighbors.
(MRS. MUTTONCHOP, LILY Lou, and FUDDYMAN go into house.)
MUTTONCHOP (Calling) :
Come, Jim, put on your Sunday shoes,
And tell the neighbors the great news !
JIM (Shuffling in, carrying axe) :
I've got to feed the ducks and hens,
And shut the chickens in their pens,
And swill the pigs and milk the cow.
I haven't time to bother now.
MUTTONCHOP:
Go, tell the neighbors as I say.
Joann can do your work today.
(MUTTONCHOP goes into house. JIM hangs axe on nails by
chopping block. Enter LILY Lou with cider jug, sits down on
stool and starts fitting jug from spigot.)
JIM : What luck ! What luck !
LILY Lou: What's lucky, Jim?
JIM : I say, you're lucky getting him.
LILY Lou: Indeed! He's lucky to get me!
JIM : Well, we shall see, we shall see. (LiLY Lou throws cider in
jug at JIM, who runs into barn, while she resumes filling jug.)
LILY Lou (Gazing at axe) :
Dear me, who put that axe up there?
It might fall down and no one care.
What if we had a little boy,
His father's pride, his mother's joy,
And sent him with the cider jug —
A heavy thing for him to lug —
And just as he was passing under
The axe fell like a clap of thunder!
Oh, dear, oh, dear! Oh, me, oh, my!
It's all so sad it makes me cry! (Weeping)
MRS. MUTTONCHOP (Entering) :
Daughter, what keeps you there so long?
Tell me, has anything gone wrong?
LILY Lou:
Dear mother, if you only knew
THE THREE SILLIES 787
The troubles we are coming to !
Our little boy might come some day
And find the axe there in his way,
Then if the axe fell on his head
I'm much afraid he would be dead.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP :
My daughter, you will drive me wild.
That dreadful axe! That darling child!
(Weeps. Enter MR. MUTTONCHOP.)
MR. MUTTONCHOP: Where is the cider? What are you doing?
MRS. MUTTONC^PP:
Oh, father, there is trouble brewing.
The axe that hangs there on the wall,
Some day it will be sure to fall
And hit our grandson passing by
And if it does he'll surely die !
MUTTONCHOP :
Alas, alack! Poor boy! Too bad!
How shocking! Oh, how very sad! (Weeps)
FUDDYMAN (Entering) : What's this? I find you all in tears!
LILY Lou (Pointing) :
There is the cause of all our fears.
The axe you see is going to fall
And kill our boy and grieve us all.
FUDDYMAN :
Is that all? I can plainly see
There are no sillies like you three.
And till I find three worse than you
111 never marry Lily Lou.
MUTTONCHOP: What, you don't mean to marry Lily?
FUDDYMAN : Not till I find three more as silly.
LILY Lou (Brightly) :
But how much harder it would be
To find three wiser ones than we!
MUTTONCHOP: She's right. It may not be so bad.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: ,
Ifs settled, then? Oh, I'm so glad!
Then, since you've had the luck to win her,
We'll all go in and have our dinner.
FUDDYMAN: Ifs not as settled as you think
788 THE THREE SILLIES
MUTTONCHOP (Looking at cider, which has run over floor) :
That's true.
There's nothing left to drink.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP: We'll all drink milk. (Calling) Joann, come
here.
JOANN (Entering with Cow, which she drives with a long switch) :
Don't call so loud, miss ; I can hear.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP : Bring us somet milk, please, right away.
JOANN : Cow won't give milk till she has hay.
MRS. MUTTONCHOP : Then give her some,
JOANN : I wish I could.
I've tried and tried, but it's no good.
(Calling) Come, bos, come bos! (Putting cow's foot on ladder)
Cow: Moo-oo-oo-oo !
JOANN :
You see? I don't know what to do.
The more I try, she gets the madder.
She's bound she won't go up the ladder.
FUDDYMAN :
Why not go up yourself instead,
And throw the hay down on her head?
JOANN : Myself? I never thought of it!
FUDDYMAN:
There's one that's sillier, I admit.
But tell me where I'll find another?
LILY Lou: Why certainly; it's Jim, her brother. (Enter JIM, in
his best clothes, and stocking feet, carrying a pair of large shiny
boots. He sets down the boots carefully and tries to make a run-
ning broad jump at them.)
JIM:
Just when a fellow wants to rest
They always tell you to get dressed.
FUDDYMAN : Pray tell me what you aim to do ?
JIM : Of course, I'm putting on my shoe.
FUDDYMAN : But tell me why you do it so ?
JIM : Why, that's the only way I know.
FUDDYMAN :
If you would only use your head,
You'd put it on your foot instead.
THE THREE SILLIES 789
JIM : A pretty trick, if you can do it!
FUDDYMAN : Your head is just as thick as suet 1 See here ! (Mak-
ing JIM sit on stool and putting his boot on)
JIM : So that's the way it's done !
FUDDYMAN : That makes another silly one.
(Sound of shouting offstage)
But what's that noise outside the gate?
LILY Lou : Our neighbors come to celebrate. (Enter NEIGHBORS
in great excitement.)
FARMER JONAS :
Quick, neighbor, quick! A hoe or rake!
The moon has fallen in the lake !
MUTTONCHOP : It has ?
FARMER HODGE:
Come on and sec ! We caught her 1
She's down there underneath the water !
FUDDYMAN :
That's her reflection that yoit spy.
The moon's still floating in the sky.
FARMER JONAS :
The man is crazy. If you please,
He'll tell us next the moon's green cheese!
FARMER HODGE: Well, so it is. I ought to know.
FARMER JONAS : Why are we waiting, then ? Lefs go !
(NEIGHBORS seise hoes and rakes from porch and run out, fol-
lowed by JIM, with the axe.)
FUDDYMAN :
Did I say three ? A town full, rather,
And each one sillier than the other !
LILY Lou:
Remember what you promised me
If you could find a -sillier three.
FUDDYMAN :
You win. I'll take you, willy-nilly.
Which proves that I'm the one that's silly.
THE END
A KETTLE OF BRAINS
by Gweneira M. Williams
Characters
NOODLE
CLEM, his friend.
THE WISE WOMAN
BETSY
SCJENE 1
SETTING: Glade with trees.
AT RISE : Stage is empty. Enter NOODLE, grinning, ill at ease, and
frightened, propelled by CLEM, his friend.
NOODLE: But I'm afraid.
CLEM (Pushing him ahead) : You want brains, don't you?
NOODLE (Grinning) : I need a whole kettleful, I do.
CLEM : Well, then, go to the Wise Woman's hut there and knock
at the door. Maybe she knows a way to get you some brains.
NOODLE (Hanging back) : Aw, Clem, I'm scared.
CLEM : Noodle, don't be more of a fool than you can help, win
you? Go on!
NOODLE (Knocking) : Hello, in there ! (Door creaks open. WISE
WOMAN appears, comes out to pot on fire. Ignores NOODLE,
who stands foolishly, mouth open.)
WISE WOIAAN: What do you want, fool?
NOODLE (Standing on one foot) : Well, well, well —
CLEM: Noodle, you're a fool. (Exit.)
NOODLE: It's a fine day isn't it?
WISE WOMAN : Maybe.
NOODLE: Maybe it'll rain, though.
WISE WOMAN: Maybe.
NOODLE (Gulping) : Or on the other hand, maybe it won't.
790
A KETTLE OF BRAINS 791
WISE WOMAN : tyLaybe. (A pause, during which she ignores him.
He scratches his head, and twtstd his hat in his hands, drops
it, picks it up, tries again.)
NOODLE: Well, I can't think of anything else to say about the
weather. But, but —
WISE WOMAN: Maybe.
NOODLE (In a rush) : The crops are getting on fine, aren't they?
WISE WOMAN : Maybe.
NOODLE: The cows are getting fat.
WISE WOMAN : Maybe.
NOODLE : Wise Woman, I thought maybe you could help me.
WISE WOMAN : Maybe.
NOODLE (Desperately) : I need brains. Do you sell any?
WISE WOMAN: Maybe.
NOODLE: What d'you mean, maybe?
WISE WOMAN : Maybe I have and maybe I haven't. It depends
on what kind of brains you want. Do you want a king's brains ?
NOODLE (Mouth falling open) : Ooh, no !
WISE WOMAN: Or a teacher's brains?
NOODLE (Even more appalled) : Lawkamercy, no!
WISE WOMAN : Or a wizard's brains ?
NOODLE: Heavens to Betsy, no!
WISE WOMAN: Well, what kind do you want?
NOODLE: Oh, just ordinary brains. You see, I don't have any at
all, at all!
WISE WOMAN : Maybe I can help you.
NOODLE: Maybe, how?
WISE WOMAN (Striking in kettle) : You'll have to help your-
self first.
NOODLE (Eagerly) : Oh, if I can, I will.
WISE WOMAN (Paying no attention) : You'll have to bring me
the thing you love best.
NOODLE (Mouth falling open) : How can I do that?
WISE WOMAN : That's not for me to say. But when you bring it
here, you must answer a riddle for me, so I'll be sure you can
use the brains.
NOODLE (Appalled) : Oh, gosh to goodness! (Turns and slouches
slowly out.)
CURTAIN
* * *
792 A KETTLE OF BRAINS
SCENE 2
SETTING: The seme. Door of hut is closed.
AT RISE: Stage is empty. Enter NOODLE, dragging large bag in
which something wriggles. He goes over to kettle, peeks inside,
shakes head. Then he leaves bag near kettle, while he knocks
at hut door. WISE WOMAN comes out.
•
NOODLE (Eagerly) : Here it is, Wise Woman.
WISE WOMAN: Here's what? .
NOODLE: The thiug I love best. (Points at bag, goes over and
touches it.)
WISE WOMAN: What is it?
NOODLE: My pigl (WISE WOMAN picks it up, takes it into hut,
and reappears.)
WISE WOMAN : Well, now that you're here, can you answer this
riddle?
NOODLE: I'll try!
WISE WOMAN: Tell me, what runs without feet?
NOODLE (Stupidly) : Maybe— caterpillars?
WISE WOMAN : Idiot I You're not ready for brains ! Come back
again when you've decided what you love next best! (Goes
into hut, slams door.)
NOODLE (Pondering) : What runs without feet? Gosh — I loved
my pig best. What do I love best after him? (Scratches head.)
I know! My hen, my little hen! Wait a minute, hey, wait!
Just wait a minute ! I'll be back in a jiffy ! Wait ! (Rushes out.
As soon as he is gone, WISE WOMAN comes out of hut, sits
down before kettle, stirs it, meanwhile chanting.)
WISE WOMAN :
Burn, fibre, burn,
Burn to a turn,
One thing's sure as sky and fire,
Fools never learn!
(NOODLE rushes back in, panting, with a small bag.)
NOODLE: Here it is! Wait; here it is! Gosh, my goodness,
heavens to Betsy, wait! Don't sell that kettle of brains! Here
it is!
WISE WOMAN: Here's what?
A KETTLE OF BRAINS 793
NOODLE : Here's the thing I love best next to my pig !
WISE WOMAN: What is it?
NOODLE: My hen!
WISE WOMAN : Are you ready to answer me another riddle r
NOODLE (Panting but valiant) : I'll try !
WISE WOMAN : Well, tell me this : what is yellow, and shining,
and isn't gold?
NOODLE (Hopefully) : Cheese, maybe?
WISE WOMAN: Fool! (Picks up bag with hen in it, goes into
hut. Peers out again.) What do you love next to your hen?
(Slams door.)
NOODLE (Sitting down on the boulder, begins to cry) : What'll I
do ? I've lost the two things I love best ! And I still haven't any
brains ! Whatever will I do now? They were the only two things
I loved in the whole world! (He cries loudly and dismally.
Enter BETSY.)
BETSY: Well, for heaven's sake!
NOODLE (Between sobs) : Who are you?
BETSY: My name's Betsy. What's the matter with you?
NOOLE : Oh, I wanted some brains —
BETSY: Why?
NOODLE: I don't have any.
BETSY: Well, where did you think you could get some?
NOODLE (Between sobs) : The Wise Woman in there (He ges-
tures towards hut) said she'd give me some if I brought her
the things I loved best in the world — (Bursts out crying again.)
BETSY: Well, did she?
NOODLE: No-o-o!
BETSY: You poor fool, why not?
NOODLE: I c-c-c-couldn't answer the r-r-r-riddles sh-sh-sh-she
asked m-me!
BETSY (Taking out a handkerchief, going up to him) : There,
don't cry. Don't you have anyone to take care of you, silly?
NOODLE: No.
BETSY: No one?
NOODLE (Crying) : No one!
BETSY: Well, I wouldn't mind taking care of you myself!
NOODLE: Lawkaniercy!
BETSY: Well?
NOODLE (Stammering) : You mean — marry me?
794 A KETTLE OF BRAINS
BETSY: Well, yes. (She takes a huge handkerchief out of her
pocket and wipes his eyes with it.)
NOODLE (Between wipes) : Can you cook?
BETSY: Yes.
NOODLE (Half heard in handkerchief) : Can you sew?
BETSY: Yes.
NOODLE (Half smothered) : Can you scrub?
BETSY: Yes, I can. Will you have me? (She gives his nose a
tweak, and he blows it into handkerchief.)
NOODLE: Well, I guess you'd do as well as anyone else.
BETSY: Thafs fine.
NOODLE: But, but —
BETSY: But* what?
NOODLE (As he is helped to his feet by BETSY) : What shall I
do about the Wise Woman?
BETSY: Let me talk to her!
NOODLE: Oh, no, no!
BETSY: Why not?
NOODLE: I'm afraidl
BETSY: I'm not! Don't you need brains?
NOODLE: Well, yes.
BETSY: Come on, then, come on! (She drags him to the door of
the hutf banging on it vigorously.)
WISE WOMAN (Opening door) : What do you want, young
woman?
BETSY: Brains for my husband here!
WISE WOMAN: Your husband, eh?
BETSY : We're going to be married.
WISE WOMAN: Does he love you the best of anything in the
world ?
BETSY: Go on, tell her!
NOODLE (Hanging head) : I reckon I do.
BETSY: There, now give him the brains!
WISE WOMAN: Not so fast, not so fast. He'll have to answer
the riddles first
NOODLE (His face falling) : Oh, the riddles.
BETSY (Undaunted) : What are they?
\YiSE WOMAN: What runs without feet? (NOODLE stands
stupidly, mouth open, until BETSY nudges him, whispers
something.)
A KETTLE OF BRAINS 795
NOODLE: Well, my goodness, water!
WISE WOMAN: H'm.
BETSY: Give him the next riddle.
WISE WOMAN: What's yellow and shining and isn't gold?
(NOODLE looks desperate until BETSY nudges him again and
whispers.)
NOODLE: Well, heavens to Betsy, the sun!
WISE WOMAN: H'm. Here's the third riddle. What has first
no legs, then two legs, then four legs.? ( NOODLE looks at
BETSY, who makes swimming motions with her hands. He
continues to look blank until she hisses at him.)
NOODLE: A tadpole!
WISE WOMAN (Crossly) : That's right. Now go away!
NOODLE: But where is the kettleful of brains?
WISE WOMAN : You already have them.
NOODLE (Feeling in his pockets) : Where? I don't find them.
WISE WOMAN : In your wife's head, silly. The only cure for a
fool is a good wife. And you have one — or will have one.
I can't help you any more. Be off with you ! Good day ! (She
goes into hut, slams the door.)
NOODLE (Standing still, scratching his head) : Maybe she's right !
(Turning to BETSY) You'll marry me, lass? I won't have any
brains if you don't!
BETSY : Of course I will ! I have brains enough for two anyway !
Come on ! (She tak&s his hand and drags him off stage as the
curtain falls.)
THE END
THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES
by Lindsey Barbee
Characters
COMMODORE HOPKINS
JOHN PAUL JONES
CHAIRMAN OP THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS
CAPTAIN ABRAHAM SWARTOUT
AN OFFICER
ELIZABETH
JANE
PENELOPE
DRUSILLA
MEMBER OF THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS
CAPTAIN STEPHEN DRIVER
A CIVILIAN
BEARER OF THE FLAG
BUGLER
MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL COLOR GUARD
OTHER SCHOOL CHILDREN
PROLOGUE
AT RISE : The stage is clear save for the floating flag upon a
standard. The Voice is offstage.
THE VOICE:
I am the flag of the United States.
The symbol of a nation that has loved
Above all else its freedom, that has fought
Its many battles for the principles
Of justice, freedom, right and equity.
I am the country's glowing Stars and Stripes;
Red for endurance, courage, growth and strength;
White for the purity of high ideals ;
Blue for all loyalty and truth and faith.
796
THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES 797
I am Old Glory — flag for which men die
That right may conquer ; flag for which men live
That they may strive for better, higher things.
I am the flag of the United States.
EPISODE 1
Raising of First Navy Ensign
December 3, 1775
AT RISE : Against a background of ropes, sails, etc., stand JOHN
PAUL JONES and the COMMODORE. The COMMODORE holds a flag
of thirteen alternate red and white stripes with the British Jack
in the upper corner.
COMMODORE:
Our flagship, Alfred, on the Delaware
Gives promise of a long and sturdy life.
It needs the banner of our native land
To mark its voyage, to proclaim the fact
That thirteen colonies have formed a pact,
A pact of independence not suppressed
By edict of an unjust king. This flag,
This Navy Ensign with its thirteen stripes
Of glowing red then white will signify
Our steadfast union, while the corner shows
The symbol of Great Britain, proving that
The colonies still love the mother land.
Here, John Paul Jones, our naval hero, hoist
This flag upon our stern that all the world
May know the Navy Ensign.
JOHN PAUL JONES : Commodore,
It is the proudest moment of my life
To raise this symbol of our hope, our faith,
Our loyalty to the brave land we call
Our own. This flag and I are twins ;
In life, in death, we never shall be parted.
As long as we can float, we float together ;
If we must sink, we shall go down as one. (Hoists flag)
CURTAIN
798 THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES
EPISODE 2
Flag Adopted by Congress
June 14, 1777
AT RISE : A small table is placed toward left center, and back of
this table stands the chairman of the Continental Congress.
Those members of the Congress occupying the first row are
visible.
CHAIRMAN :
Until the present time, our flag has borne
The British symbol. On July the fourth,
We signed the document that told the world
Of independence; hence the need to claim
A banner that will truly symbolize
Our union. On this fourteenth day of June
In seventeen seventy-seven, we present
This resolution: (Reads)
That the flag of the United States be thirteen stripes alternate
red and white, that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue
field representing a new constellation.
You will signify
Your wish regarding its acceptance.
(Pauses) Those
In favor will respond the usual way.
(A chorus of yeas)
And those opposed? (Pauses) The resolution stands.
CURTAIN
EPISODE 3
The Making of the First American Flag
August 3, 1777
CAPTAIN :
The British are assembling on all sides.
We know that an attack is imminent.
OFFICER:
From Massachusetts come two hundred men
To reinforce our garrison. They bring
The news that Congress has decreed a flag
To signify our union. Thirteen stripes,
THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES 799
First red, then white, against a field of blue,
With thirteen stars of white. I would that we
Could float this flag while we defend our fort.
CAPTAIN :
Why not? Necessity enables us
To act with what we have. (Takes blue cloak from his arm)
This cloak of mine
Will furnish what you call the field of blue.
The white shirts of the soldiers are at hand;
OFFICER (Eagerly) :
And doubtless some wife of a soldier lad
Will find a petticoat of red.
CAPTAIN : Then why
Not make our standard flutter in the breeze
For all our British enemies to see?
Twill be the first time that the Stars and Stripes
Are fired upon; and it will also be
The making of America's first flag.
CURTAIN
EPISODE 4
The First Official Salute to the Flag
February, 1778
SETTING: Portsmouth, New Hampshire, November 1777.
AT RiSE:*T0 the sound of stately music, four lovely girls are
dancing a minuet. As the dance is finished and the music dies
away, the four separate.
ELIZABETH :
No wonder that we want to dance and sing —
Burgoyne has surrendered !
JANE : And our land
Is truly free — a nation.
PENELOPE: Have you heard
That John Paul Jones will take the news to France?
The news of the surrender?
DRUSILLA: Have you heard
That he is made commander of the ship
Called Ranger?
800 THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES
ELIZABETH : Oh, it will be wonderful
To know that other ships salute our flag —
The flag of our Republic.
JANE: Listen, girls.
As yet there is no standard flag. I mean
It is decreed but still has not been made
Or fashioned for official use.
PENELOPE : We must
Produce a flag. The Ranger must not sail
Without a symbol.
DRUSILLA : Then it is our task
To make the flag — of red and white and blue
ELIZABETH (Eagerly) : My cape — it is the proper shade of red.
(Catches cape from nearby chair)
JANE (To DRUSILLA) : Our panniers are white.
PENELOPE : My gown is blue.
ELIZABETH : Then why not make the flag from what we have?
JANE :
So proud we'll be to know that from the ship
Our flag will fly — the flag that we have made
From our own silken gowns.
DRUSILLA : There is no time
To waste. The ship will leave perchance at dawn
Upon its way to France.
ELIZABETH : Then let's to work.
(Curtseying) My cape — my cape of red —
JANE (Curtseying to DRUSILLA) : Our panniers of white —
PENELOPE : My dear blue gown —
We'll change them all into a flag — a flag
That merits the salute of other ships,
Our flag of red and white and blue.
ELIZABETH (Suddenly) : Then, haste.
CURTAIN
THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES 801
EPISODE 5
Final Ruling of Congress
April 14, 1818
AT RISE : Again the Continental Congress with its small table f its
chairman and its first row of members.
MEMBER (Rising) :
May I request the reading, Mr. Chairman,
Of that enactment whereby Congress rules
The final placing of the Stars and Stripes.
CHAIRMAN (Reading) :
Congress enacts that there shall always be
The thirteen stripes that are symbolical
Of thirteen colonies — that each new state
Will mean a star upon a field of blue,
This star to be affixed on July fourth
That follows the admission of the state.
CURTAIN
EPISODE 6
"Old Glory''
1831
SETTING: Salem, Massachusetts
AT RISE : Again the background of sails, ropes, a large wheel.
CIVILIAN:
To Captain Stephen Driver and his ship
The citizens of Salem, in respect
And admiration offer this fair flag,
The Stars and Stripes that it may always wave
Through storm and stress as this brave ship begins
Its long and perilous voyage round the world. (Extends the flag
which he holds to CAPTAIN DRIVER)
CAPTAIN DRIVER (As he takes the flag) :
I raise the colors. I salute — Old Glory.
CURTAIN
802 THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES
EPISODE 7
National Salute to the Flag
AT RISE: To the sound of martial music, the color guard of the
school marches in. There is the bearer of the flag, the bugler,
and tht members of the guard. Orders are given, formations are
made, and finally all come to attention with the standard bearer
and the bugler in the center, and the various members on either
side. After a moment, the flag is lifted high and the members of
the guard unite in the oath of allegiance: "I pledge allegiance to
the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic
for which it stands: one nation indivisible, with Liberty and
Justice for all."
THE END
NO BRAVER SOLDIER
by J. C. Eleanor Bierling
Characters
THOMAS WHEELER, a prosperous farmer, dwelling on the outskirts
of Concord
MARGARET WHEELER, his wife
BEN, their son, about 15
JONATHAN ALLSTON, a Boston cousin, younger than Ben
EZRA HAYWARD f minutemen from the neighborhood
ESTHER \ Wheel^5 d™9***r*>
LUBIN FALES, another neighbor
SIR FRANCIS MONTFORD ^
MAJOR RICHARD CAMPBELL }
TIME: 6:00 AM. on the morning of April 19, 1775.
SETTING : The kitchen of the Wheeler farm which is situated to
the south of Concord on the Lexington-Concord Road.
AT RISE: THOMAS WHEELER has just finished his breakfast but
remains seated at the table, his attention fixed upon ABEL POM-
FREY and EZRA HAYWOOD, who are standing in the doorway.
BEN and JONATHAN are seated opposite to him, dividing their
attention between the conversation and the hearty business of
consuming porridge. MARGARET WHEELER is busy at the dress-
er, cutting large slices of bacon. She stops occasionally to listen
to her husband's words.
WHEELER (Laying down knife and fork) : Everything in read-
iness then, Ezra ?
EZRA: Yes, Mr. Wheeler. Our minutemen have been hastening
to the North Bridge in Concord these past two hours.
WHEELER: How many have gone up already?
803
804 NO BRAVER SOLDIER
EZRA: Fifteen, thereabouts. From Lincoln and the environs.
WHEELER : There should be more. Didn't Prescott reach all the
farms?
EZRA : There'll be more, Mr. Wheeler, don't you worry. They'll
be coming in from the back country.
WHEELER: How many, would you say?
EZRA (In deep thought) : Well er . . . about ... ten or so.
Wouldn't you say that, Abel?
ABEL (Removing a piece of straw from his mouth) : I reckon ten's
about right, Ezra.
WHEELER (Reflecting and strumming on the table with the fingers
of his right hand) : I'll wait for them here, then. They'll pass
this way. (Rises from his chair but remains close to the table.)
You had better get to Concord as fast as you can, boys. I've
been there and back this morning. The men are pouring in
from Acton, Chelmsford, Bedford and Carlisle. Report to
Colonel Barrett at once — he's in command of the militia there
— and see that the men obey orders without question.
ABEL : Yes, sir.
EZRA: Yes, Mr. Wheeler. (They turn to go, but WHEELER catts
them back.)
WHEELER: You both have a knowledge of where the stores of
our arms and ammunition are hid. Guard that knowledge with
your life.
EZRA : I wouldn't let any Britisher get that out of me, Wheeler.
ABEL : Nor me, either.
WHEELER: I am sure of that. But a friendly warning's not amiss.
We'll meet at the North Bridge, then. Godspeed 1 (As ABEL
and EZRA go off, the door leading into the entryway opens and
FAITH and ESTHER enter. MR. WHEELER goes to hearth.)
FAITH and ESTHER (Together) : Good morning, Father. Good
morning, Mother.
MRS. WHEELER (Who has been moving between dresser and fire-
place much occupied with the business of preparing soup in the
iron kettle, hanging on the crane) : You are tardy. The sun has
been up this half hour.
FAITH : We are sorry, Mother. We were —
BEN (Interrupting excitedly): What excitement you missed!
They should have been here last night, shouldn't they, Jonathan I
(JONATHAN nods and smiles.)
NO BRAVER SOLDIER 805
FAITH (Advancing with ESTHER to the middle of the room) :
What happened? Why didn't you wake us then?
BEN (Loftily) : Girls are no good in an emergency. You would
have screamed when Dr. Prescott rode up to the door like a
ghost in the moonlight.
FAITH (Reproachfully) : No, we wouldn't.
BEN: Yes you would, because you're a girl. My, but I'm glad
I'm a boy!
ESTHER (With a show of spirit) : Well, if I were a boy I'd be a
better one than you are and I wouldn't plague my sisters.
JONATHAN : Good. There's an answer for you, Ben.
MR. WHEELER (Having been speaking to MRS. WHEELER during
this dialogue, now returns to the table) : Quiet! Enough has
been said. This is no time for foolish jest. Faith and Esther
— come here ! (MR. WHEELER sits down in his chair and draws
ESTHER to his knee. FAITH stands close to him at his left side.
The two boys have risen and come over, remaining to the right
of him. MRS. WHEELER, with an affectionate glance at the
group, goes out of the door.) Daughters, this is a grave and
trying time for our country. We have been expecting trouble,
and it is now come upon us. Last night Dr. Warren sent a
trusted courier, Mr. Paul Revere, from Boston to give us warn-
ing that the Regulars are coming. Of course you know that
their purpose is to take Mr. Samuel Adams and the Hon. Mr.
Hancock prisoners, but I understand that they were foiled.
Dr. Prescott tells me that Mr. Revere was able to reach Lexing-
ton in time to give the alarm, and Mr. Adams and Mr. Plan-
cock are already making their way to Woburn. That is good
news, but the British will now advance upon Concord to seize
our stores of ammunition.
BEN: And they will find that they are blocked in their designs.
How I wish that I could see their faces when they discover that
the cannon and powder have all been removed to places of
safety.
MR. WHEELER: You may see more of their faces than you care
to before the sun is set.
JONATHAN : I wish it had been my part to ride with Mr. Revere.
It is a fine thing to arouse the people to their danger.
MR. WHEELER: You speak a truth there, Jonathan. But it is also
a fine thing to offer one's life in protection of our people and
that is our part.
806 NO BRAVER SOLDIER
JONATHAN (Wistfully) : But you said that I could not accompany
you, sir.
MR. WHEELER: That is true. While you are my guest you are
under my protection. You must abide here. As for Ben, he
is older and I fear though I would, I could not keep the lad
at home.
BEN (Laying aside his fun-laving attitude and squaring his
shoulders) : Nay, Father, my place is at your side. And I am
a man now and can shoulder a musket as well as any. Have I
not trained with the Minutemen these many months and know
their oath by heart?
WHEELER: And that oath?
BEN : To hold ourselves in readiness at a minute's warning with
arms and ammunition.
WHEELER: Good. (He sets ESTHER down and starts to rise. With
a little cry FAITH clings to him.)
FAITH : Oh, Father, do not go. You may be killed.
WHEELER : Hush, Faith. That does not sound like the courageous
patriot such as I know you to be. Let us put our faith in God.
Ben, bring me the Bible. (While BEN fetches the Bible off the
mantel, FAITH, hiding her tears in her handkerchief, goes back
to the fireplace. ESTHER moves quickly to her side to console
her. BEN places the Bible at his mother's place, so that MR.
WHEELER, in reading from it, faces the audience. At this point
MRS. WHEELER reenters the room, carrying a cream bucket and
an armful of clean clothes. Seeing that her husband is about to
read, she lays these down and, drawing FAITH and ESTHER to
her side, stands near the hearth, an arm about each. BEN, hold-
ing his father's hat which he has taken from its hook, stands at
his father's right hand. JONATHAN, who has run to the window
anticipating the arrival of the other minutemen, turns toward
his uncle and remains standing in respectful attention. WHEELER
opens the Book and reads from the 9lst Psalm — verses 1 to 12
and verse 16. As he closes the book, he looks up and sighs* deep-
ly. Then, taking the hat from Ben's hand, he turns and faces
his wife.) God guard you all.
MRS. WHEELER: And you, Thomas.
BEN : Mother, I am going, too.
MRS. WHEELER: May God bring you back unharmed, child.
ESTHER: Father, why am I not a man? 'Tis hard to stay at home
when I would fight
NO BRAVER SOLDIER 807
JONATHAN : Think how hard it is for me, Esther — nearly grown
to man's estate, yet, by my uncle's command, forced to stay
here.
MR. WHEELER: You have these loved ones to protect, Jonathan.
And that is no small part. Think you that you are capable
of it?
JONATHAN: Yes, Uncle. I will guard them with my life.
MR. WHEELER: Spoken like a man. I leave them in your care.
And now, Esther, remember, a woman's place is home. Keep
it and your heart above reproach. The sanctity of our homes
and the liberty of our land are the things we are giving our
lives for. (They move qidckly to the door. Here WHEELER
pauses, his gcuze fixed on the Ridge yonder.) Nowhere in sight,
Margaret. But I cannot wait. My mind is beset with anxieties
for the men at Concord. Should the others pass this way, hurry
them on to the Old North Bridge. And now we're off. (MRS.
WHEELER remains at the door until they are out of sight. She
stands erect, her lips moving prayerfully. FAITH stands at her
mother's side, endeavoring to be as courageous. But ESTHER
and JONATHAN kneel on the bench at the window, waving hand-
kerchief and cap.)
MRS. WHEELER : Come, let us close the door. The air is yet chill
at this early hour. Faith, your porringers stand on the hearth-
stone yet. Twill be a mercy if tie food is fit to eat.
FAITH : Mother, I could not eat
MRS. WHEELER: You need the strength for the work that lies
before us. Esther, bring the syrup. You may both sit here on
the settle before the fire if you like. (FAITH and ESTHER begin
on their porridge.) Now to list the things we have yet to do ;
butter to churn, this hearth to sweep, wool to card and the
soup to finish. Yes, we must have hot soup for the men's re-
turn. And hot water for the wounded. Jonathan, that is what
you can do now. Draw water and bring in more logs. Pile
them here. (Indicates a place to the left of the fireplace, where
some few yet remain.)
JONATHAN : That I will, Aunt Margaret. (He goes out.)
ESTHER (Anxiously) : Mother, do you fear the Redcoats coming?
Will they search our house?
MRS. WHEELER : It is not unlikely. But we have naught to fear.
Your father has seen to it that the hidden stores of arms and
808 NO BRAVER SOLDIER
ammunition are nowhere near. We will treat the British cour-
teously if they come and save ourselves unpleasant treatment
in ir*nrn.
FAITH: Hark! I hear the sound of cartwheels now.
MRS. WHEELER: They will not come in carts, Faith. (But they
listen anxiously as the sound of creaking wagon wheels draws
nearer. MRS. WHEELER goes to the door and, throwing it open,
gasps in astonishment.) Why Lubin Fales! Why aren't you at
Concord?
FALES (Standing on the steps and gasnng at MRS. WHEELER sheep-
ishly) : I couldn't, ma'am, till I got these hid.
MRS. WHEELER: These? And what may these be?
FALES: Muskets, ma'am, and powder. Such as were took out of
Concord Saturday last
MRS. WHEELER: But they were in your care, Lubin. Why haven't
you hidden them?
FALES: No, ma'am, I couldn't a-done that. What with Sarie sick
abed and a dozen younguns dragging at my heels and the cattle
gone astray and —
MRS. WHEELER: Stop! Methinks you are a fool, Lubin, or worse.
To bring this load of ammunition over the roads in broad day-
light and the British almost upon us. Do you want to be seized
and all this lost?
FALES : It's but a few muskets, ma'am, and a handful of powder.
MRS. WHEELER: Everything is precious in the eyes of the militia.
Think of our poorly armed men as pitted against the British
well-armed troops !
FALES : I couldn't a-lef t these with Sarie, ma'am, and me gone to
the wars.
MRS. WHEELER: But you would bring suspicion upon the house
of a good neighbor. And Mr. Wheeler has ever befriended
you. (FALES stands there miserably, twisting his cap in his
hands.) Well! don't stand there gaping. Bring them in. I'm all
out of patience with you and have no words to speak my mind.
(JONATHAN, having carried in several logs during this interval
and stacked them close to the watt, now looks on in deep con-
cern. FAITH and ESTHER have been peering around the back of
the settle.) Lend your shoulder to this task, Jonathan, that it
may be done the more quickly. Now to find a place for them.
(As JONATHAN follows FALES out MRS. WHEELER goes to the
NO BRAVER SOLDIER 809
table, deep distress visible in every feature. Suddenly her hand
touches the Bible and she rests it there. Then an expression of
quiet strength supersedes the look of anxiety. She remains
standing thus until JONATHAN and FALES bring in the few mus-
kets and the powder keg and lay them down; then she turns
around.) I have been over-hasty, Lubin You must forgive
me. Leave these in our care and go to Concord, now. But wait
(As LUBIN starts to go) — take this to Sarah. She has been
ailing over-long and this will give her strength. (Goes to the
kettle and dips out hot soup into a pewter jug which she hands
to Lubin.)
FALES: Thank ye, ma'am. She'll be that pleased — and I'll be
goin' now. (Touches his cap and goes out.)
MRS. WHEELER (Turning to JONATHAN) : Now, where to hide
these!
JONATHAN : That is what I've been trying to figure out, Aunt.
Could I hide them in the wood shed, or bury them in the
garden ?
MRS. WHEELER: Nay, Jonathan. That is the first place they
would search. We must think of something better.
ESTHER (Who has been darting about now discovers open spaces
behind the wood pile) : Jonathan, here is a place. The muskets
will fit behind these logs nicely. (MRS. WHEELER and JONATHAN
exchange a look of relief. FAITH, unnoticed, slips out.)
MRS. WHEELER : It might do, indeed.
ESTHER: And we can pull the settle up close to the logs. See.
(She attempts to shove the settle forward.)
JONATHAN (With a show of amusement) : Think you they could
not move that if they had a mind to, Esther?
ESTHER (Taken aback) : Well — (Claps her hands in delight as a
new inspiration comes to her.) I will feign illness and will lie
upon the settle, and no gentleman will dare to move it then.
MRS. WHEELER: Little do you know what gentlemen will do in
time of war, Esther. Furthermore, I would not permit you to
feign illness and act a lie. (ESTHER, disheartened at her moth-
er's words, walks over to the window and gazes out disconso-
lately. MRS. WHEELER and JONATHAN converse in a low tone
as they stuff muskets behind the logs. The door opens and
FAITH enters, burdened with two heavy quilts.)
FAITH: Could you conceal the muskets under these, Mother?
810 NO BRAVER SOLDIER
MRS. WHEELER (A little impatiently) : Of course not, Faith. But
don't look so distressed Here, pile them on the settle. (FAITH
lays the quilts down, and JONATHAN and the two women push
the settle around with its back close to the logs, completely con-
cealing the woodpile.)
ESTHER (In great agitation): Jonathan 1 (She beckons JONA-
THAN to come to her and, as soon as he reaches her side, directs
his attention to the garden. He looks out, then nods in great
excitement.)
JONATHAN: Yes, British officers, two of them. And they are
turning in here. (They gaze at each 'other in great consterna-
tion, then ESTHER, with renewed spirit, jumps from the bench
and runs across the room to the woodshed. She opens the door
and disappears.)
MRS. WHEELER (Turning around) : You said British officers,
Jonathan?
JONATHAN: Yes, Aunt Margaret. They have dismounted and
are coming toward the front door. But have no fear, I will
take care of you.
MRS. WHEELER (Her gaze resting on the keg of powder) : We
have forgotten that Here, Jonathan, help me to lift it on the
settle. We will make use of Faith's quilts, after all. But they
will see it. (They place the keg on the settle and cover it with
the £«*7te.)Now, Faith, be at your churning. Keep your hands
busy and make no outcry when the men come in. (A loud rap-
ping is heard at the front of the house.)
JONATHAN: Shall I let them in, Aunt Margaret?
MRS. WHEELER: Let them rap again. I must have time to think.
(Glances around suddenly.) Where is Esther? Where has the
child gene? (The door of the woodshed is pushed open and
Esther leans, half-fainting, against it.)
ESTHER: Mother, come quickly. My foot! The axe —
FAITH : Oh, Esther. (Puts her hand to her mouth in consternar
tion.)
JONATHAN : You are hurt. (JONATHAN and MRS. WHEELER rush
to her and half carry her to the settle. The blood is visible from
a gash in her foot. In the face of an emergency, FAITH sud-
denly becomes as courageous as her mother. Folding one of the
quilts over the powder keg to act as a pillow, she then spreads
the other across the back and seat, and assists the others in lay-
NO BRAVER SOLDIER 811
ing ESTHER upon it. MRS. WHEELER gently draws off slipper
and stocking. Rapping is heard now at kitchen door.)
MRS. WHEELER: Cold water, Faith — and those cloths — see,
lying there. (Glancing at the others) Courage. (In the -face
of ESTHER'S noble act, no signs of nervottsness or fear care
visible in their faces. FAITH remains holding ESTHER'S hand,
her head high, ready to face a firing squad, if need be. JONA-
THAN hastens to the fireplace and, putting down an old musket,
stands near the dresser, holding it tightly. MRS. WHEELER busies
herself in the act of bathing the wound.) Come in. (The door
is thrown open and two officers of the British Army enter.)
How may I serve you, sirs ?
MONTFORD: We are under orders, Madam, to search this house.
MRS. WHEELER: The house may be searched. I ask your pardon
for not being able to rise. As you see, we are in great distress.
MONTFORD (Courteously) : An accident, Madam?
MRS. WHEELER : My daughter has cut her foot.
MONTFORD (Advancing) : Permit me to look at it. I have a
knowledge of the science of medicine. (He waits for her con-
sent and, at her nod, quietly probes the wound.)
ESTHER (Wincing, holds her handkerchief to her lips and grips
FAITH'S hand with her own) : Oh, please, sir !
MONTFORD: The wound is not deep, and no arteries severed. It
is a clean cut and should heal quickly.
MRS. WHEELER: The Lord be praised for that. Thank you, sir,
for your kindness.
MONTFORD (Bowing) : It is a pleasure to serve you — (Looking at
ESTHER) and the young lady is a gallant soldier — an honor
to any — (Pauses, as if searching for words) army. (JONA-
THAN'S hand tightens on the musket and he takes a step for-
ward.) No offense there, lad. Put up your musket. If the men
in the Colonial militia are as brave a force as you, we may have
need to look to our guns. (Turning to CAMPBELL) Major,
search the house. (Bowing to MRS. WHEELER) Madam, we
will return in a moment. (MRS. WHEELER indicates to MAJOR
CAMPBELL the door at the left, and MONTFORD goes out the door
leading to the shed. There is no word from the others left in the
room. MRS. WHEELER bandages the foot. FAITH tries, to make
her sister more comfortable. JONATHAN retains his position
near the dresser. MONTFORD returns first and, taking his posi-
812 NO BRAVER SOLDIER
tion near the door leading outside, waits until CAMPBELL re-
turns.) Madam, I crave your pardon for disturbing you in this
distressing time. Were it not for Major Pitcairn's orders, I
would not have troubled you. I thank you for your courtesy
and bid you good day.
Mss. WHEELER: Good day, sir. (The two officers go out. The
group in the room relax in utter relief and MRS. WHEELER, no-
ticing JONATHAN'S face, laughs.) Jonathan, your face is a
picture.
JONATHAN : Had they made any other remark about our Militia
or Dr. Warren or Mr. Adams, or advanced to the woodpile, I
would have run them through. (He shows them a long butcher-
ing knife he has hidden under the herbs on the dresser, and
they all laugh heartily. Laying down his musket, he runs to the
door and listens to the retreating hoof beats. Suddenly his face
brightens.) Listen!
FAITH : The Fife and Drum! ! (The strains of "Yankee Doodle?'
come from afar.)
JONATHAN: The air the Redcoats taunt us with in Boston. But
they'll live to rue the day for that
MRS. WHEELER: Yankee Doodle — our men — Concord.
Through sacrifice, liberty shall come to this land and, with the
help of God, we shall be free. (They all lift their faces reverently
as the curtain goes down.)
THE END
THE HEROINE OF WREN
by Ella Stratton Colbo
Characters
CYNTHIA HALL, age 12
GRANDMOTHER HALL
GRANDFATHER HALL
A RIDER
COLONEL DAY
AN ORDERLY
SCENE 1
TIME: Revolutionary War Days.
SETTING: The simple interior of a cottage in the Quaker village
of Wren.
AT RISE: GRANDMOTHER HALL, in Quaker garb, is discovered
tidying the room. She works busily for a moment or so. Sound
effect off stage of rapidly running feet. She stops work, listens.
CYNTHIA bursts into room, crying out excitedly.
CYNTHIA: Oh, Grandmother, Grandmother, the Redcoats are
coming! A rider on horseback is at Neighbor Randall's telling
them about it. I was bringing their morning pail of milk to
them for Grandfather, and I heard him say we must all leave
the village and flee for our lives. Oh, Grandmother, what shall
we do? I am so afraid! (Begins to sob.)
GRANDMOTHER (Coming over to CYNTHIA and putting her arm
*tbout her) : I have no doubt the rider will soon be here to tell
thy Grandfather all about it, so do them run to the barn and tell
him to come quickly. But first, dry thy tears, Cynthia, like the
brave little maid thou art. Thy Grandfather is an old man.
Since thy father and his brothers fell at Brandywine he has
813
814 THE HEROINE OF WREN
had naught but trouble, and this will be the worst of all. We
must be brave, and try not to make it harder for him.
CYNTHIA (Earnestly, drying tears) : Oh, I will, Grandmother.
I will! Grandfather shall not see me cry.
GRANDMOTHER: That's my own brave little maid. (Pats
CYNTHIA'S shoulder) Now run to call him. There is no time to
lose. (Exit CYNTHIA. GRANDMOTHER stands with clasped
hands and bowed head, says slowly and bitterly) War is a cruel,
cruel thing! (Sound effect of galloping hoofs outside. Loud
knock at door. She goes to open door, admits a man breathless
as though from great haste.)
RIDER (Urgently) : Mistress Hall? I must have speech with thy
husband, at once.
GRANDMOTHER: He is coming from the barn, Sir. Here he is
now. (Enter GRANDFATHER and CYNTHIA through back door.)
RIDER : I am sorry, good Sir, to be the bearer of bad tidings this
fine morning, but I am sent to warn all the villagers that they
must gather up what food they may, and fly to the hills at
once. The Redcoats are less than a day's march to the west-
ward, plundering and pillaging as they come. They are likely
to camp in this village tonight Make ready to leave with all
possible haste. Neighbor Randall will stop for you presently,
bringing two horses that you may ride. Remember, for safety's
sake, you must all be in the hills by nightfall!
GRANDFATHER: Thank you kindly, Sir. We will make ready to
leave at once.
RIDER: Now I must hasten to warn the others. (Exits hurriedly.)
GRANDMOTHER (To GRANDFATHER) : I will bring thee the good
silver from the chest in the bedroom, and do thou dig a hole in
the garden to bury it where the Redcoats will not think to look.
Cynthia, child, run to find an old sack to wrap it well. (GRAND-
MOTHER exits hurriedly.)
GRANDFATHER: Yes, Cynthia, lass, thou must lend thy willing
hands and quick feet this day to spare thy Grandmother's
strength for the sad times ahead. Since our own lads have
given their lives for their country, thou art all we have left
Grandmother is old, and I fear that tonight she will look down
from the hills to see the sky reddened with the fires of our
burning homes.
CYNTHIA: I will do my very best—tut oh, Grandfather, even the
THE HEROINS OF WREN 815
Redcoats couldn't be that cruel 1 (Re-enter GRANDMOTHER, car-
rying parcel wrapped in cloth, hands it to GRANDFATHER.)
GRANDMOTHER: Here is the silver. I found a sack to wrap it.
Do thou hide it quickly.
GRANDFATHER: Don't thee worry. I will find a safe hiding place
for thy treasure, and then I will give Old Bess a last good
feeding. Mayhap the Redcoats will not harm her if she gives
them plenty of her good milk for supper. (Exits.)
GRANDMOTHER: We have much to do before Neighbor Randall
calls for us. Cynthia lass, run to the kitchen and pack the
market basket with the corn cakes, and whatever else is left of
yesterday's food. Take all thee can find. We will not dare to
light fires to cook our supper tonight. Hurry, child. I will busy
myself saving what little we may be able to take with us.
(Exits hurriedly.)
CYNTHIA (Speaks aloud to herself) : Burn our home ! Harm Old
Bess! If the Redcoats only knew how good and kind Grand-
mother and Grandfather are — how old and helpless — and
that no one is left in all this world to csfre for them, but a little
girl, they could not be so cruel and heartless. / know. I will write
them a note, and ask them to spare this house — this whole
village. It can do no harm, and it may do some good. (Seats
herself at table, picks up quill pen, dips it in ink well, and begins
to write busily. Folds up the sheet of paper. Writes across the
outside in large letters— "To the Redcoats? Rises, places letter
in her pocket. Lewes room. Enter GRANDMOTHER, with two
parcels in her hands, and two cloaks over her arm. She places
parcels on table.)
GRANDMOTHER: There — I do not dare to take time for more —
besides we could carry little else. (Calls loudly.) Cynthia!
(GRANDFATHER enters.)
GRANDFATHER: Make ready quickly. I can see the villagers
beginning to come down the road. (GRANDMOTHER puts on her
hood and cloak. Catts loudly again) Cynthia! (CYNTHIA enters
with fitted market basket covered with white cloth. Places basket
on table. GRANDMOTHER ties on CYNTHIA'S hood and hands her
a cloak.) Come lass, we must start at once. (CYNTHIA slips into
her cloak and picks up basket. GRANDMOTHER and GRAND-
FATHER go to front door. CYNTHIA starts to follow them, stops,
runs to back window and looks out.)
816 THE HEROINE OF WREN
CYNTHIA: Grandmother, Grandfather! What about the geese?
If I open the gate to their pen, they might go to the woods and
be safe, too. I simply couldn't bear to have anything happen to
my pet gander, Nicodemus !
GRANDMOTHER: Run and open the gate to their pen, if it will
make thee any happier; but geese are silly things, lass, and they
are sure to come back home at nightfall, Redcoats or no Red-
coats. Hurry then, and meet us at the front gate. (They exit to
front, CYNTHIA to back. In a moment CYNTHIA reappears,
takes note from her pocket — hastily scribbles a few more lines
on bottom of paper, refolds it and places it against candlestick
on table, 'with words "To the Redcoats?' visible to audience.)
GRANDFATHER (Calling from off stage): Cynthia, Cynthia!
Neighbor Randall is waiting for thee !
CYNTHIA (Running out of door) : Coming, Grandfather !
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : The same.
AT RISE: Enter COLONEL DAY, followed by his orderly.
COLONEL: I like the looks of this cottage. It shall be my head-
quarters while we are camped in the village of Wren. Post two
guards outside the door. I am both hungry and weary. Give
the cook orders to get supper under way immediately. (Re-
moves sword and places it on table. Notices CYNTHIA'S letter)
Ho — what have we here? A message "To the Redcoats," as
I live ! (Picks up letter, opens it and reads slowly and loudly)
"Gentlemen : My name is Cynthia Hall. I am twelve years old.
I live in this house with my good, kind grandmother and grand-
father. It is the only home we have. I beg of you not to burn
our home, or harm Old Bess, our cow. We would freeze and
THE HEROINE OF WREN 817
starve when the cold winter comes. We need our garden, too,
and dear grandmother loves her flowers. Please, sirs, if you
have little daughters of your own, think how they would cry if
harm came to their homes. We have done you no harm. Have
pity on my poor grandparents, and mercy on the village of
Wren. Respectfully yours, Mistress Cynthia Hall. P.S. I have
just let our geese out of their pens, but they are silly things and
will come home at nightfall, Redcoats or no Redcoats. Nico-
demus, the gander, is my very own pet I love him dearly. I
could not bear to lose Nicodemus." (COLONEL laughs heartily)
Ho, ho! Written bravely enough, littk Mistress Hall! Me-
thinks my own little Cynthia at home would be as quick to speak
up spunkily for her rights if danger threatened. Orderly I Take
this command to Captain Flynn, and have him make it known
to all the men. Tell him there is to be absolutely no pillage or
plunder this night. They are to take only what is needed for
one good meal for men and animals — and leave everything else
unharmed— everything, understand! Tell them I am doing this
as a favor to a brave little rebel lass, who asked it in the name
of our own little daughters in far-away England. At dawn we
will march on, leaving the village as we found it.
ORDERLY (Saluting) : Very well, Sir. (Exits. COLONEL walks to
back window. Looks out, laughs again.)
COLONEL: Just as she said! Geese are silly things! Here they all
come, single file, with Nicodemus himself in the lead! I fear
the cook will covet those plump fowls for our supper, but they
shall spare your pet, I promise you, Mistress Cynthia! (Seats
himself in rocker.) We will have a good meal, and a good
night's rest, and at dawn we will march away, leaving the vil-
lage of Wren as we found it, like the gentlemen Mistress
Cynthia Hall gives us credit for being. (Rises) I have business
with the cook — about Nicodemus! (Exit.)
CURTAIN
* * *
818 THE HEROINE OF WREN
SCENES
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE: COLONEL DAY is* discovered seated at table, writing
with the quill pen on one of the sheets of paper. Enter ORDERLY.
ORDERLY: Good morning, Colonel. I have come to report break-
fast ready at the cook train.
COLONEL: I will be there presently. Tell me, how have the men
observed my order to spare the village?
ORDERLY: Very well, Sir. There was a good bit of muttering
among the iiot-heads at first but Singing Sam soon fixed that!
Hark, Sir I (They both listen. Off stage several deep voices join
in a rollicking chant — )
VOICES (Off):
It has come to pass
That a rebel lass
Is leading his Majesty's men!
For the Colonel's daughter,
From over the water,
We spare the village of Wren !
(COLONEL nods and smiles with satisfaction. Folds sheet of
paper. Addresses it to MISTRESS CYNTHIA HALL. Rises*, places
letter on table against candlestick, where he found CYNTHIA'S
letter. Exits — ORDERLY follows him.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 4
SETTING: The same.
AT RISE: Enter GRANDMOTHER and CYNTHIA very slowly.
CYNTHIA is helping her to walk. In center of room they stop
and look about.
THE HEROINE OF WHEN 819
GRANDMOTHER (Wonderingly) : Why, look thee, lass! Nothing is
really harmed. Nothing is broken or spoiled! Not a thing!
And a good scrubbing with soap and water will make quick
work of all these muddy tracks on the floor. We have much to
be thankful for, my child. (Enter GRANDFATHER.)
GRANDFATHER : The whole village is rejoicing ! Nothing has been
harmed! Nothing has been taken but food! God hath indeed
wrought a miracle for the village of Wren! Our garden is the
same as we left it — not even a flower has been trampled. And
Old Bess is contentedly chewing her cud in the barn!
GRANDMOTHER: What is this? (Points to letter.) It looks like a
letter. It is I With Cynthia's name written upon it. (Picks up
letter and hands it to CYNTHIA.) Read it, child. Read it aloud.
CYNTHIA (Opens letter and reads) : "To a Brave Little Rebel
Lass : You could not have known it when you wrote your note,
begging us to spare your grandparents' home and the village of
Wren, but I do have a little Cynthia of my own in far away
England to whom I would wish no harm to come. Therefore,
with the compliments of Mistress Cynthia Day, your prayer is
granted. My kindest regards, Colonel Day." (Shouts joyously)
It is indeed a miracle! Grandfather, have you looked for our
geese? Is Nicodemus safe? (Runs to 'window and looks out,
points) There he is ! Walking about all alone. They must have
stolen the others after all. (GRANDMOTHER and GRANDFATHER
join her at the window.)
GRANDFATHER: Yes. He is all alone, and the gate is closed again.
GRANDMOTHER: Whatever can that be tied about his neck? It
looks like a small sack. It looks heavy. It swings back and
forth as he walks. Run outside, lass, and see what it is. Do
thou bring it here. (Exit CYNTHIA.)
GRANDFATHER: So that is the story! It is to our little Cynthia
that the whole village of Wren owes its thanks !
GRANDMOTHER: Aye, we may well be proud of our little lass this
day. She has served her country bravely and well. But here
she comes — (Enter CYNTHIA, laughing.)
CYNTHIA : Look, look ! A whole sackful of coins ! And another
note from the Redcoats! Listen to this!
Dear Mistress Cynthia:
We have eaten your geese,
But not to be rude!
820 THE HEROINE OF WREN
We were tired and hungry,
We had to have food.
We each leave in payment,
A coin with your pet.
You said we were gentlemen —
We will not forget !
The Redcoats.
GRANDFATHER (Taking sack and spilling coins out on the table) :
A goodly sum, indeed !
GRANDMOTHER: We can buy many, many things with all these
coins! The Redcoats do have hearts!
CYNTHIA: And / have Nicodemus! Oh, I am so happy!
GRANDFATHER (Placing his hand on CYNTHIA'S head) : Thy
Grandmother and I are proud of thee, this day, little maid.
Thee is a real heroine!
THE END
HEARTS OF OAK
by May Emery Hall
Characters
EDMOND ANDROS, governor of New England
TIMOTHY MARSHALL, member of Connecticut Assembly
LUKE MARSHALL, his son
SIMON HUMPHREY, assemblyman
BENJAMIN HUMPHREY, his son
GOVERNOR'S BODY GUARD
CITIZENS
SCENE 1
SETTING: Council chamber, Hartford, Connecticut.
TIME: Twilight of an October day, 168 7.
AT RISE: A small group of men enter. As they remove their hats,
an expression of grim determination is revealed on every face.
So absorbed are they in earnest conversation, all talking and
gesturing at once, that at first they fail to notice the two boys,
LUKE and BENJAMIN, who have stealthily crept into the room
after them. They are dirty and their clothes are torn. The pair,
keeping close together, are plainly trying to escape observation.
MARSHALL (Clapping his hands over his ears) : One at a time!
One at a time, please! (The din gradually subsides.)
HUMPHREY : 'Tis difficult to keep one's mouth shut, Timothy,
with matters of such importance as we have on hand tonight.
MARSHALL: All the more reason, then, don't you think, to pro-
ceed with calmness and order?
HUMPHREY : I suppose so.
MARSHALL: Time is short. The governor may be here any mo-
ment now. (A groan from the company greets the announce-
ment. Two or three make wry faces.)
HUMPHREY: Whatever induced the king to put that tyrant over
821
822 HEARTS OF OAK
us passes my comprehension. You'd think New York and New
Jersey would be enough for him without grabbing all New
England.
MARSHALL: Right you are, Simon. Just consider the power that
goes with the office ! The making of laws, raising of taxes, set-
tling of disputes in courts of his own choice —
HUMPHREY: I know. It looks as if the very word "liberty" were
destined to disappear altogether from the English language to
make way for such degrading terms as "threats," "punishment,"
"imprisonment" and such. (During the foregoing dialogue,
LUKE and BENJAMIN., on hands and knees, have crawled unno-
ticed to the table and hidden themselves underneath it. They
listen in closs attention to all that is said.)
MARSHALL: We must stand firm tonight — every man of us.
Are you all with me?
THE COMPANY (In chorus) : Aye! Aye!
MARSHALL: Even if we have to pay for our daring?
THE COMPANY: Aye! Aye!
MARSHALL: Self-government has gained too good a start in this
colony of Connecticut to be snuffed out now. We'll have to re-
mind Andros what he has apparently forgotten — if he ever
knew — that nearly fifty years ago our freemen adopted the
first written democratic constitution on record. And the liberal
royal charter later granted by Charles was in keeping with it.
Now to have King James snatch it away —
CITIZEN (Interrupting uneasily) : Those are brave words, Mr.
Marshall, and we are all in agreement with the spirit of them.
But seeing that Massachusetts has been coerced into giving up
her charter —
MARSHALL: You mean, what's to prevent Connecticut's submit-
ting, too?
CITIZEN : Well — yes.
MARSHALL: Stout hearts and the determined will to see that jus-
tice is done. Can you think of better weapons?
THE COMPANY (Deafeningly) : No! No!
MARSHALL: The God-given right to rule ourselves we will never
surrender without a struggle! (The company applaud loudly.
The two boys, forgetting themselves, join in, too,4 and prolong
their clapping beyond that of the others. Their hiding-place is
HEARTS OF OAK 823
therefore discovered by their elders, who turn their surprised at-
tention in the direction of the table.)
MARSHALL (Recognizing his son and speaking sternly) : Come
here!
HUMPHREY (Pointing to BENJAMIN) : And you, too. (The
boys, embarrassed and sheepish, get to their feet and approach
the two men. The others crowd around curiously.}
MARSHALL: How did you get in here?
LUKE (Stumbling) : We — we — just — just — came in.
MARSHALL (Dryly) : And without taking the trouble, it appear**,
to ask permission. Don't you know this is no place for strip-
lings? A man's job has got to be done this night. Why, then —
LUKE: Oh, father! Neither Benjamin nor I have ever seen the
governor and so —
MARSHALL : Well, that's no reason for pitying yourselves.
LUKE: But he'll have his armed guard with him, won't he?
MARSHALL : In all probability. Still, what is there about soldiers —
HUMPHREY (Interrupting) : Oh, let the lads stay, Timothy, now
that they're here. Why not set them to work straightening out
the room? They can at least arrange the benches and light the
candles. Yes, and start a fire, too. (Rubbing his hands together)
This fall dampness goes through one's very bones.
MARSHALL: As you say, Simon. (Noticing the boys' dishevelled
condition for the first time) But what ever have you been up to?
Your clothes are torn and dirty.
LUKE : I know, father. But you see, Benjamin said he could climb
higher up in the old oak than I could, and I had to take his dare.
MARSHALL (Interested in spite of himself) : Well, and who won?
LUKE (Proudly) : I did, of course!
BENJAMIN : He wouldn't have if it hadn't been for a big hollow
in the very heart of the tree that we didn't know about. I slipped
into it
HUMPHREY : So ! Lucky you got off without a broken neck !
MARSHALL: Lucky, indeed! Now get busy, you two! Quick!
(With alacrity LUKE and BENJAMIN set about their tasks, first
lighting the candles and then placing the benches in parallel
rows. They draw the single chair up to the table as if jor the
governor. After that they busy themselves at the hearth, arrang-
ing wood in preparation for a fire. While this work is under
way, the older men continue their conversation.)
824 HEARTS OF OAK
HUMPHREY (Anxiously) : I trust you brought the charter along
with you, Timothy.
MARSHALL (Producing the document from a capacious pocket) :
Here it is. (Holds it up that all may see.) It may seem to the
king and governor a mere scrap of paper to be destroyed and
forgotten, but we freemen know that its value is not to be meas-
ured in any such belittling fashion. Life, liberty, self-govern-
ment are all tied up in this parchment — everything, in short,
that makes life worth living. We will never give it up !
THE COMPANY (Lustily): Never!
LUKE AND BENJAMIN (After the others): Never! (They em-
phasize the exclamation by noisily banging the bellows on the
hearth.)
CITIZEN: Do you think the governor will really carry out his
threat of taking the charter from us, Mr. Marshall?
MARSHALL: Without doubt.
CITIZEN: Here? In this room?
MARSHALL: Where else?
CITIZEN (Shaking his head) : I fear there'll be trouble, then. Es-
pecially if he brings a guard along.
MARSHALL (Impatiently) : Fear is something we just decided was
to be left out of this evening's proceedings.
CITIZEN (Doubtfully) : I suppose we could hide the charter if we
had to.
LUKE (Shrilly) : Father! I know a good hiding-place!
MARSHALL: Well? Speak out.
LUKE : I'd rather tell you alone. (Goes to his father and whispers
in his ear.)
MARSHALL: Not such a bad idea, that! (Voices are heard outside.
A deadly silence falls on the group as each man maintains a lis-
tening attitude. The next moment the door is thrown open, ad-
mitting GOVERNOR ANDROS and his guard. All are resplendent
in red military uniform trimmed with gold braid. The guards-
men are equipped with swords. The governor's manner is
haughty, his bearing that of one used to being obeyed.)
ANDROS (Approaching MARSHALL as his penetrating gaze falls
upon the charter in MARSHALL'S hand) : Good evening.
MARSHALL (Respectfully) : Good evening, your honor. (Indicat-
ing the chair at the table) Pray be seated, sir.
ANDROS (Seating himself) : May I ask your name?
HEARTS OF OAK 825
MARSHALL: Timothy Marshall, sir.
ANDROS: An accredited member of the Connecticut General As-
sembly, I take it.
MARSHALL: Its spokesman, as well. May I introduce my fellow
citizens? (Indicating each in turn) Simon Humphrey, Thomas
Carroll, Daniel Foster —
ANDROS (Interrupting curtly) : That will do. Suppose we get at
once to the business in hand. You are all aware, of course, of
the errand which brings me hither.
MARSHALL (With dignity) : We are, your honor.
ANDROS : Acting, then, upon instructions from His Majesty, King
James, I demand that you deliver into my hands —
MARSHALL (Showing irritation) : Is not "demand" a rather
strong word, sir, to use in dealing with freemen?
ANDROS (Irritated in turn) : Indeed! More than ever am I con-
vinced that my royal master knew what he was about in cur-
tailing what you are pleased to call your rights. Methinks the
air of this Connecticut colony has gone to your head like new
wine.
MARSHALL: Call it what you will, sir, we shall continue to im-
bibe it — the Connecticut air and the wine of liberty both.
ANDROS (With increasing anger) : Is that a threat?
MARSHALL : A mere statement of fact, rather.
ANDROS: Nevertheless, a statement that borders close upon sedi-
tion.
MARSHALL : I fail to see it in that light, sir. We have been a self-
governing body, have been granted in our charter certain rights
and have, in every way, tried to be honest, law-abiding citizens
— loyal subjects to His Majesty, as well.
ANDROS: Methinks you are seeking a quarrel where no quarrel
exists. What is there about your giving up a mere piece of paper
that should occasion such an outburst as this you are indulging
in?
MARSHALL : The very fact, sir, that our precious charter is no more
than a "mere piece of paper" in your opinion shows how little
you understand the issue at stake.
ANDROS : I like not the tone of your remarks, Timothy Marshall.
MARSHALL: Still less, if you will pardon me, sir, do I like the sub-
stance of yours.
ANDROS (Half-rising) : Have a care ! You are forgetting that I
have not only a right to make my demands but also the means
826 HEARTS OF OAK
of enforcing the same. (The soldiers of his guard tighten their
hold on their swords.)
MARSHALL: This business is unpleasant enough for all of us,
Heaven knows, but we do not intend to surrender our charter.
ANDROS: I will give you five minutes in which to change your
mind.
MARSHALL : I do not need one minute. Nor do the others.
ANDROS: In that case, you can only blame yourselves if serious
trouble ensues. (Pointing to the charter) Will you hand me
that worthless document or not?
MARSHALL (Firmly) : I will not! (Draws back, putting the char-
ter behind him.)
ANDROS (To the guard) : Close in! Don't let him escape!
MARSHALL (In a low tone to HUMPHREY as the soldiers start to
obey) : Out with the candles, Simon! (HUMPHREY, aided by
the other citizens, and BENJAMIN, hastily begin blowing out the
lights. Noisy confusion follows. In the growing darkness, LUKE
creeps up behind his father and snatches the charter.)
LUKE (In a whisper) : Don't you worry, father ! I'll look out for
it ! (He surreptiously makes for the door with BENJAMIN, ap-
parently unnoticed by the Governor and his guard. Both disap-
pear. The room becomes pitch black as the tumult increases.)
ANDROS (His voice shaking with anger) : You'll pay for this !
And pay well, you — you — (The curtain falls.)
* * *
SCENE 2
SETTING : Same as Scene 1, two years later, 1689.
\T RISE: The company are seated as before. LUKE and BENJA-
MIN are absent.
CITIZEN: I suppose we can look for the boys any minute now.
MARSHALL: Unless one or the other has broken a limb.
HUMPHREY : We shouldn't have allowed them to climb that oak,
I suppose, Timothy.
MARSHALL: Perhaps not. But I felt we owed them that much
after their discovery.
HEARTS OF OAK 827
HUMPHREY: Even so, 'tis a risky business. You remember how
Benjamin fell into the treacherous hollow in the first place?
MARSHALL: Shall I ever forget? It was that which provided us
with an answer to the governor's demands.
HUMPHREY: £^r-governor now, thank Heaven.
MARSHALL: Amen! Ex-king, too. Now that the high-handed
James is in exile, perhaps Andros will find out while he lan-
guishes in jail, that we Connecticut freemen meant what we
said.
HUMPHREY : And that royal favor does not necessarily mean a life
job. It is like sitting on a keg of gunpowder which may go off
at any minute. How soon will he be shipped to England?
MARSHALL : They say on the first vessel leaving Boston. (A sound
of boyish conversation is heard outside. The door is presently
thrown open, admitting LUKE and BENJAMIN. They have devel-
oped greatly in two years, appearing much more mature and
manly than in Scene 1. LUKE carries a discolored piece of parch-
ment in his hand.)
LUKE (Rushing to his father) : Here it is, Father! (Hands him
the parchment.)
MARSHALL (Holding it aloft) : The charter of our liberties at
last ! (A murmur of approval is heard on att sides. The men
draw nearer MARSHALL in order to examine the document.)
HUMPHREY : Not much the worse, I'll be bound, for its long stay
in the hollow oak through summer rains and winter snows !
LUKE (Proudly) : Oh, Benjamin and I knew what we were
doing!
BENJAMIN: We couldn't have found a better shelter if we had
hunted everywhere!
MARSHALL (Thoughtfully): To think that the sturdy old tree
which has outwitted a king's agent was nothing but a tiny acorn
once ! In the same marvellous way does democracy grow — a
weak, sprouting thing at first, reaching uncertainly for the right
kind of soil and nourishment, but after a time strengthening its
fibres to such an extent that even kings cannot tear it asunder.
HUMPHREY : True, Timothy. But, after all, you might say it was
an accident which led to our hiding the charter so securely.
MARSHALL (Shaking his head) : No, not an accident. It was
something far bigger than a tree which saved the day for us.
HUMPHREY (Pussled) : What, then?
MARSHALL: Hearts of oak!
THE END
A SON OF LIBERTY
by Esther Lipnick
Characters
SARAH ORNE
PAUL REVERE
RACHEL REVERE, his second wife
SAMUEL ADAMS
DR. JOSEPH WARREN
PAUL REVERE, JR.
PAUL REVERE, III
SCENE 1
TIME : Late spring, 1757.
SETTING : Room in Paul Revere** home.
BEFORE RISE: Horses' hoofs can be heard on the cobblestone
walk, and distant drums accompanying the cries of men selling
their wares; then comes the ringing of four bells and the street
crier announcing "Four o'clock and all is well!9
AT RISE : SARAH ORNE, breathless, runs in through center door,
carrying a straw basket of mayflowers. She is pursued by
breathless and laughing PAUL REVERE. SARAH seats herself on
settee.
SARAH (Laughing and still out of breath, as PAUL stands looking
down at her) : Oh Paul, that's not fair — making a lady look
ao undignified — and I'm sure that Reverend Ebenezer saw us.
PAUL (Laughing heartily) : And next Sunday the sermon will run
as follows : My good people, take heed that your daughters do
not fall into the pit of the devil. You must watch that their
actions befit their sex. Last week in the streets of Boston in
broad daylight, mind you I said Boston and in broad daylight,
I saw a young woman pursued by a young swain. Shall we
allow such undignified conduct to continue?
SARAH (Laughing) : Oh, stop that, Paul. It's not right, imitating
a clergyman, and besides you asked me here because you had
a surprise for me.
828
SON OF LIBERTY
829
PAUL: Surprise? (Pretends to be puzzled.) Surprise? Oh, yes,
so I have.
SARAH : Oh, Paul, stop teasing — I must know.
PAUL: Hmm — well, you're forgetting something, too. (Points
to flowers.)
SARAH: Oh, the flowers! I nearly forgot. Fetch some water,
quickly, Paul.
PAUL: Well, you stay here a moment, and try to guess what I
have for you, while I run out to the barrel for some water.
(SARAH gets up and starts picking out the flowers as PAUL
exits.)
SARAH (To herself) : I wonder what it is — can it be — oh, how
I hope it is. I love him so. Oh, would that he'd ask me today.
(PAUL conies in pretending not to have heard the last remark.)
PAUL: Well, here you are, Sary.
SARAH (Startled, turns and blushes): Oh, thank you, Paul.
(SARAH starts to arrange flowers. PAUL seats himself in a
rocker and watches her work.)
PAUL: Well, have you guessed what I have for you?
SARAH (Shyly) : A copperplate? (PAUL shakes his head.) Your
mother must have roast goose for dinner and wants me to stay.
PAUL: No, but you may stay for dinner.
SARAH : Then is it the locket you promised me?
PAUL: No, all wrong. (He goes to cabinet and takes a large silver
spoon and gives it to Sarah, watching her face.)
SARAH (Trying to hide her disappointment) : A spoon! Oh, Paul,
how lovely. I'll treasure it — always.
PAUL: Perhaps you will, Sary, when you know its story. My
father gave it to me before he died He told me to give it to my
wife, because he hoped she would always cook good meals for
me. Father was French, you know, and had a French sfcnse of
humor as well as a love of good food.
SARAH (Looks at him wistfully, holding the spoon closer, a tear
in her eye) : Oh, Paul, I'll treasure it, always,
PAUL: Then, Sarah, you will be my wife?
SARAH : Oh, yes, Paul. (Smiling) But I'll have to learn to be a
good cook.
PAUL (Smiles) : I'm sure you will — and I'll make you proud.
I'll become the best silversmith in the country.
SARAH : Oh, I know you will.
PAUL (Rather pensively) : But there are other things that I must
do, too.
830 SON OF LIBERTY
SARAH (With anxiety) : Paul, you're not going to fight the
French and Indians again?
PAUL : No, not that, this time. But I'm going to fight for the same
thing I fought for before — so many things have to be fought
for.
SARAH (Completely perplexed, wrinkles her brow) : Paul, some-
times I don't understand you.
PAUL (Walks over and takes her hand) : Perhaps there are a few
things you should know about your future husband. It starts
way back in a sunny village in France, Riaucaud, near the great
city of Bordeaux. My family, the Revoires, were good people
who cultivated their vineyards and tended to their own affairs,
but Louis XIV would not let them be. That tyrant denied them
the right to worship as they wanted. All the Huguenots were
persecuted — and so my father came to Boston to seek freedom.
SARAH : Oh, I'm so glad he did ! Just think — I might never have
known you.
PAUL (Smiles at her) : Thank you, Sary. Perhaps now you'll
understand why I was so eager to fight the French, to suffer
cold and hunger on Lake Champlain.
SARAH : I never knew, before.
PAUL : And that's what I'm going to fight for all my life. I hate
tyrants. A man must have liberty — Sary — liberty.
SARAH (Goes to stand beside him, and echoes softly) : Liberty —
(In the distance bells ring, and the town crier is heard, Five
o'clock and aWs well")
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
TIME: Late afternoon, December 16, 1773.
SETTING: Paul Revere* s workshop.
BEFORE RISE: SAM ADAMS' voice can be heard crying, "Down
with the tyrant^9 and then comes the shouting of the mob,
SON OF LIBERTY 831
"Down with the tyrants'9 ADAMS again, "It must be liberty or
death" Then the cries, of the mob, "Hear ye, hear ye, liberty
or death." Then the clanging of bells and the sound of horses'
hoofs.
AT RISE: PAUL REVERE seated at his bench, writing in his ledger.
An unfinished teapot stands beside him. RACHEL is seated op-
posite him knitting. The room shows signs of increasing pros-
perity. REVERE'S engravings hang on the wall, and the display
case shows a diversity of objects : teeth, jewelry, copperplates,
silverware.
PAUL (Talking as he writes} : To Mr. Josiah Gray, artificial fore
teeth — to Miss Mary Jane Harmon, silver earrings — to Mr.
John Abram, silver teapot — hmmmm . . . (Taps his fingers as
he gazes at what he has written.)
RACHEL (Looking up from her knitting and smiling at him as she
shakes her head) : I marvel at you, Paul Revere. On such a
day you sit calmly writing in your ledger, taking orders, fixing
umbrellas —
PAUL (Casing up at her) : Umbrellas, did you say, my dear? Will
you look out and see if it's still raining?
RACHEL (Gets up and goes to door, talking as she goes) : That
reminds me of little Paul. You shouldn't have sent him out in
this rain to look after your horse. He should be here by now.
PAUL: Don't fret, Rachel, he'll be here soon. And you are an
angel, dear, to be so good to my children.
RACHEL : Our children, now, Paul. I vowed when I married you
that I'd never feel any differently towards them than if they
were my own and not Sarah Orne's.
PAUL : Sary Orne — may she rest in peace. She'd be happy if she
knew what a mother you are to her children.
RACHEL (Back at her knitting) : And I must be thankful, too, for
such a family and such a husband.
PAUL (Smiles and goes back to his work) : Tut, tut, my dear girl.
... To Mr. Benjamin Stafford, copperplate for engraving —
to Miss Hannah Snow, book plate.
RACHEL : You're impossible, Paul. Where do you get the patience
to sit there and calmly go about your work, when right now
under Liberty Tree Sam Adams is rousing an angry mob, and
your heart, you know, is really there and not in that colorless
ledger.
832 SON OF LIBERTY
PAUL (Looks up at her and there is both admiration and earnest-
ness in his voice.) : I am a fortunate man, my dear, to be mar-
ried to you — you who are the first woman ever to understand
me. But, remember, Rachel, while my heart is feeding the fires
of patriotism, my hands must feed my beloved family.
RACHEL (Rises and goes over to him, kissing his brow.) : You are
a good man, Paul Revere. (At these words, the center door
opens, and two rather rain-soaked characters step in, the shorter
one, SAM ADAMS, first, followed by DR. JOSEPH WARREN.)
ADAMS (In his rather gruff voice) : Such domesticity 1 Nero fid-
dles-while Rome burns. (SAM goes over and pats PAUL on the
shoulder good-naturedly. They all laugh heartily.)
PAUL: Be seated, friends. My wife was just saying something
of the sort, too. (Looks fondly at RACHEL.)
WARREN : Et tu, Brute.
PAUL : You will excuse me for my lack of knowledge concerning
the foreign tongue of Latin, but your meaning is dear. What
news, friends?
RACHEL : Excuse me, Paul, but your coats, gentlemen. And sure-
ly you'd like a little drink. (Men take off their coats, which
RACHEL takes and puts aside.)
WARREN : Thank you — and a drink would be welcome.
ADAMS : A drink — tonight, perchance, there will be no need for
it. (They all laugh.) But for the present — a drink, yes, if you
please. (RACHEL exits, right.)
PAUL: Any news from Hutchinson?
ADAMS : That dog — no, not yet, but what news can we expect
except that "The ship shall land." (Imitates the quivering voice
of GOVERNOR HUTCHINSON.)
WARREN: Poor devil! I wonder what he would do if he knew
what consequences such a decision would bring.
PAUL: He probably guesses, and therefore has taken flight from
Boston.
ADAMS (Pacing floor) : Wretched coward — hell learn he can't
tamper with us. Parliament can't tamper with us — with our
trade, our lives, our spirits. This is the beginning. They'll all
learn.
WARREN : Seems to me they've had a little learning already. Do
you not recall the repealing of the Stamp Act and the result of
the Quartering Act, and the bloody massacre three years ago?
And now, Paul, it looks as though you'll have a subject of an-
other engraving — what will you call it?
SON OF LIBERTY 833
ADAMS: The Boston Tea Party.
PAUL : Thank you, gentlemen. You have my work all planned for
me. You have left me nothing to do except make the engraving.
ADAMS : Man alive — listen to us jest. Frenzied as I am, I nearly
forgot to tell him. (Looking at DR. WARREN.)
WARREN : Paul, you have been elected to ride to New York and
Philadelphia on the morrow to carry dispatches for the Com-
mittee of Correspondence, telling of tonight's work.
PAUL: I am ready, men. My son is at present attending to my
horse.
ADAMS (Pacing the floor, rubbing his hands) : This waiting, wait-
ing — everything must go off as planned.
WARREN (Opening a little book and reading) : Patience is a
virtue.
ADAMS: Patience — bah! (For a moment DR. WARREN is read-
ing to himself from his book, PAUL is turning the pages of his
ledger, and SAM ADAMS paces the floor. Then the door bursts
open, and a breathless PAUL REVERE, JR., enters.)
PAUL, JR.: Father! Oh, hello, Mr. Adams, Dr. Warren —
PAUL: What is it, son? Speak!
PAUL, JR. : Word has come. Hutchinson has ordered the tea to be
landed. They are clamoring on the streets. (DR. WARREN and
PAUL REVERE stand, excited. SAM ADAMS is aroused, his face
is beaming with satisfaction. The men take their coats.)
ADAMS : Griffin's Wharf tonight.
WARREN : Griffin's Wharf tonight
PAUL: Griffin's Wharf. (RACHEL enters with a tray and cups.)
WARREN : Thank you, Mrs. Revere, but we cannot drink now.
ADAMS : Boston Harbor will be a teapot tonight, my good woman.
(Exit ADAMS and WARREN. PAUL turns to his wife.)
PAUL : I must go now, Rachel. It has come. Paul, is my horse
ready?
PAUL, JR. : Yes, father, and I wish I were going with you.
PAUL: Now you are talking like a true son, but you must stay
home and take care of mother and the children.
RACHEL: Oh, Paul, you will be careful.
PAUL: I'll be careful, for there must be other nights like this, and
other rides. But remember, Rachel, no matter what happens,
it's Liberty or Death. (PAUL, JR. goes to stand near RACHEL,
who puts her arms around the boy's shoulders.)
PAUL, JR. : Not death, father, but Liberty.
834 SON OF LIBERTY
PAUL: Yes, son, Liberty. (In the distance the crowd can be heard
yelling, "Boston Harbor a teapot tonight" and there is the sound
of steps and people running.)
CURTAIN
* * *
SCENE 3
TIME: A spring evening, 1810.
BEFORE RISE: Horses? hoofs can be heard and the cries, "To arms,
the British are coming" — Hoofs again, the cry, "Don't fire
until you see the whites of their eyes,'9 then a shot is heard and
aU is silence.
SETTING: Same as Scene 1.
AT RISE: A white-haired PAUL REVERE is sitting in a rocker,
napping, his chin nodding gently on his chest and his mouth
slightly open. His grandson, PAUL REVERE, III, sits at his
feet reading his grandfather's account of his famous ride, and
his grandmother, RACHEL, sits, opposite, knitting.
PAUL III : "It was a moonlit night . . ,w ( His voice drops as he
reads to himself and then it rises again) "when we had got about
half way from Lexington to Concord the other two ..." — who
were the other two, grandfather? He's sleeping.
RACHEL: Sh, child. Let him sleep. The other two were William
Dawes and Dr. Preston.
PAUL III (Reading again) : "I kept along, when I had got about
200 yards ahead of them, I saw two officers under a tree. (Voice
drops again and then it rises) ... I saw four officers, who rode
up to me with their pistols in their hands and said . . ." (Break-
ing off) Did all the redcoats do was curse, Grandma?
RACHEL (Smiling) : I'm afraid not, Paul. Some were very good
SON OF LIBERTY 835
soldiers and even married our girls, and some were not so very
good.
PAUL III : But not as good as George Washington's soldiers.
RACHEL (Smiling) : Not as good as George Washington's soldiers.
PAUL III : "Blank, blank, stop, if you go an inch further you are
a dead man. , . ."
PAUL (Wakes) : What's this? Who's a dead man?
PAUL III : Grandfather, your story is too hard to read, and be-
sides grandmother doesn't like to hear me curse, and the British
soldiers curse in your story. . . .
PAUL (Laughing his hearty laugh) : Well, Paul, my man, put the
story down and listen to your old grandfather. It was about
two o'clock on the Tuesday of April 18, 1775, when my dear
friend, Dr. Warren, called for me to set off immediately for
Lexington by way of Charlestown. He had already sent
William Dawes by way of Roxbury. It wasn't a surprise to me
and I was ready.
RACHEL: Ready! Such a mild word. For weeks, Paul, your
grandfather had been practically living in the saddle. Why, the
Sunday before that midnight ride, he had gone to Lexington to
warn his friends Sam Adams and John Hancock that the British
were preparing for an attack. Why, it was then that your grand-
father arranged with Colonel Conant and some other gentlemen
that if the British went by water, the signal would be two lan-
terns in the North Church Steeple and if by land, one lantern.
PAUL: Your grandmother could tell the story better than I, son.
Yes, she is right, and before I left that Tuesday night, I ar-
ranged with my friend, Robert Newman, to hang the signal
lights.
PAUL III: And your crossing to Charlestown — was it difficult?
PAUL : It was then flood time, and the ship was winding and the
moon rising. . . .
RACHEL: And your grandfather took one of your aunt's new
woolen petticoats to muffle the sound of the oars.
PAUL (Chuckling) : And a very good muffler it proved to be —
for Tom Richardson and Josh Bailey rowed me across the
river under the very nose of the Somerset, Man-of-War.
PAUL III : Gosh, grandfather, you were brave.
PAUL: No, not brave, just doing my duty. In Charlestown I
borrowed Deacon John Larkin's horse and it was about eleven
when I set off. At Charlestown Common the road forked, and
I took the Cambridge Road.
836 SON OF LIBERTY
PAUL III: And when did you see the British soldiers?
PAUL: I had gone about a half mile when I saw two British
soldiers lying in wait. Quickly I turned and went back to the
fork to take the Medf ord road. One of the soldiers tried to cut
me off by crossing the fields, but fortunately the day mired
his horse, and I escaped.
RACHEL: And it was a very dark and lonely ride with only woods
and low stone walls, and a farmhouse here and there. Remem-
ber, child, it was your grandfather who awoke his countrymen
to the coming danger. It took courage to do it.
PAUL III : Then you are a hero, grandfather.
PAUL: Paul, when you grow up and get ready to marry, I hope
you'll find someone who will be as loving and fine as your grand-
mother and then you'll be a hero in her eyes, too, no matter
what you do.
PAUL III : Will I, grandmother?
RACHEL (SnMes, gently) : Your grandfather says it's so.
PAUL: Now your grandmother is teasing me, but I was telling
you a story and I must finish. In Lexington I went to the Clarke
house, where Hancock and Adams were staying. There I was
met by William Dawes and a little after midnight we set off
towards Concord. Dr. Samuel Prescott chanced to meet us and
offered to help us spread the alarm. We were halfway to Con-
cord when a party of four Redcoats stopped us. Dawes escaped
and so did Prescott, and I was unsuccessful. I was forced back
to Lexington, and there the sound of shots frightened the British
and they took my horse and fled.
PAUL III : And you never got to Concord that night?
PAUL: No, but Dr. Prescott did.
PAUL III : And that's the end?
RACHEL: Hardly. That was little more than the beginning.
PAUL: Then there was much to do after that. Rides for the Com-
mittee of Safety, printing paper money for the soldiers, sup-
plying the Continental Army with gunpowder, fixing the cannon
at Castle William for General Washington . . .
RACHEL : And sleepless nights and anxiety, worry and hard times,
Paul.
PAUL : And great jubilation when it was over and we were free.
RACHEL: Free, yes. But your grandfather, Paul, became the
busiest free man in the country. I was left dazed just trying to
keep up with him.
SON OF LIBERTY 837
PAUL III: What did you do, grandfather?
PAUL: Oh, I opened a hardware store opposite the Liberty Tree,
then a foundry for the casting of bells and cannon, and in 1801
your Uncle Joseph and I erected copper rolling mills at Canton.
. . . We were the first to do it. ...
PAUL III : I wish I were older and could work with you, grand-
father. When I grow up there won't be anything for me to do.
RACHEL: Bless you, child, there'll always be problems to solve
in this world of ours. And you just follow in your grandfather's
footsteps and I dare say you'll be a very busy man.
PAUL : Why, son, there's so much for you to do. This is a new
country and you must work to make it the greatest in the world ;
a country free of tyrants. You must work to win the respect
of the rest of the world and show them by our government, our
industries, our inventions, and our very lives that we really had
something to fight for.
PAUL III: And that was, grandfather?
PAUL: And that was Liberty, son.
PAUL III : And will we get to be the greatest country in the world
because we have liberty?
PAUL : Yes, son. Some day great foundries and mills and indus-
tries will crop up all over this great country, past the Appala-
chians, and the Louisiana Purchase. And our ships will sail
the seven seas. And England, and France, and Spain will talk
of that great country, the United States of America, where
people are all free —
PAUL III: Free, grandfather, is just like having liberty?
PAUL: Yes, son. Liberty, the sweetest word that man has ever
breathed. Liberty! (In the distance bells ring and again the
sound of distant hoofs.)
THE END
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
by Helen Louise Miller
Characters
CAPTAIN LIVINGSTON
MRS. LIVINGSTON
A HESSIAN CAPTAIN
DAVID LIVINGSTON
DOLLY LIVINGSTON
GENERAL WASHINGTON
MARY ANNE, the doll.
SETTING : A corner of the yard of the Livingston farmhouse.
AT RISE : DOLLY LIVINGSTON is- hopping up and down screaming
for help as her brother pretends to drown her favorite rag doll
in the well.
DOLLY; Help! Help! Oh, please, Davy, please don't drown my
Mary Anne. Please! Please! Oh, help, help!
DAVID : Stop screaming, you little goose ; 'twon't do a mite of good.
Mary Anne is not a patriot and I am going to drown her dead
for good and all.
DOLLY: She is! She is! Please! Oh, you wouldn't dare do this if
Father were here.
DAVID: Wouldn't I? And why not, pray tell? I'd dare to drown
a wretched Tory no matter who was here.
DOLLY: You would not. Father wouldn't let you. And he'd
punish you good and proper if he knew how you teased me.
DAVID: And I suppose you're going to be a tattle tale and tell
him when he comes home so I'll get a birching. In that case, I
might as well be thrashed for something as nothing. So here
goes your precious Mary Anne . . . down . . . down . . . down
... to a watery grave. You better say goodbye to her forever.
DOLLY: Oh, Davy, please spare her life. (Kneelmg before him)
I'll give you anything you want or do anything you want.
838
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY 839
DAVID : Can I trust you to keep your word ?
DOLLY (Jumping up in relief) : Of course, Davy, just give me
back my darling Mary Anne. (MR. LIVINGSTON enters, sees
what is going onf and stands quietly left stage, watching the fol-
lowing scene.)
DAVID : Nope ! Girls always tell.
DOLLY: But I wouldn't tell. Honest, I wouldn't
DAVID: Oh, yes, you would. And if you didn't tell about this,
you'd tell how I ran away yesterday to go swimming instead of
working in the field.
DOLLY : No, I wouldn't, Davy. Cross my heart and hope to die.
MR. LIVINGSTON: Your sister won't have to tell me about your
wrong-doings, David, and I think I came home just in time to
administer a litle justice. (Brandishing his riding crop in a
threatening manner.)
DAVID: Father!
DOLLY (Running to his side) : Oh, Father ! I'm so glad to see you.
MR. LIVINGSTON (Patting her head) : I'm sure you are, my dear.
But I fear your brother will not be so glad when I have finished
with him. Come, sir, take that wretched doll baby out of the
well bucket and return it to your sister. Then you and I will
settle our accounts.
DAVID (Obeying his father's orders) : Here's your toy, Dolly. I
wasn't going to drown her for reaL
MR. LIVINGSTON : Just going to tease your little sister, and make
her cry, eh ! Humph ! I daresay she'll be able to hear you yell-
ing a-plenty till I get through with you. Now, march!
DOLLY (Taking hold of her father's arm) : Oh, please, Father.
Don't be harsh with Davy. All boys love to tease and he is no
worse than the rest. Besides Davy worked hard while you
were away.
MR. LIVINGSTON: Worked hard, did he? I heard him boasting
just now of going swimming, when he was needed on the farm.
That is something else he must answer for. Sorry, my dear,
your plea for mercy won't do your brother a bit of good this
time. (He crosses to DAVID, seises him by the collar and pre-
pares to march him off stage when MRS. LIVINGSTON enters,
very much out of breath from excitement.)
MRS. LIVINGSTON: Oh, George, hurry, hurry. You must leave
at once. The hired boy just told me the Hessian soldiers are
coming up the road. They are as far as the spring house and
headed this way. You must escape at once.
840 DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
MR. LIVINGSTON (Releasing his hold on DAVID) : I guess you are
not sorry to hear that, are you, my boy?
DAVID (Quickly) : I wouldn't want to see the Hessians catch
you, sire.
MR. LIVINGSTON (Relenting) : But you are glad enough to have
them save you from punishment
DAVID: I know I shouldn't tease Dolly the way I do, but she is
such a little goose about that old rag doll. And as for the swim-
ming, it was such a hot day, and I had worked hard all morning.
MRS. LIVINGSTON : Davy is a good lad, George.
MR. LIVINGSTON : Well, I hope so, for now I must have someone
to help me now that the Hessians are so close.
DAVID : Oh, please, Father, let me help you. I know I am an idler
and a tease, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for our noble
cause.
MR. LIVINGSTON : I believe you mean every word you say, lad,
and I am going to place my confidence in you as if you were a
grown man. Your mother will have to go with me as far as
the old mill so she can bring my horse back. You and Dolly
will have to face the enemy alone.
DOLLY : I am not afraid.
MR. LIVINGSTON : I don't think you will have cause to be afraid,
Dolly. Surely the enemy would not harm a little mite like you.
But there is something you and David must do for me.
DOLLY : I hope it is something big and brave.
MR. LIVINGSTON: General Washington is coming here this
afternoon.
DAVID: To this house?
DOLLY: Goody! goody! Just listen to that, Mary Anne.
MRS, LIVINGSTON : My patience ! How am I to entertain such a
fine gentleman on such short notice?
MR. LIVINGSTON: The general is not looking for entertainment,
my dear. He is to use this house as a meeting place with Gen-
eral Wayne. There are important plans on foot and I have the
papers in my dispatch case.
DAVID: Are they very important, sir?
MR. LIVINGSTON (Seating himself at the table and producing the
papers) : I cannot even describe their importance. General
Wayne has been ordered to attack tomorrow morning. But these
papers order him to postpone his attack because of the increas-
ing number of the enemy. Unless he receives these orders, he
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY 841
will make the attack and be wiped out He must get these papers
within the hour and report here to form new plans with General
Washington. Now do you understand how important it is ?
DAVID: Indeed I do. But where shall I find General Wayne?
MR. LIVINGSTON : He is staying with Mr. McClellan at the top
of the hill. The old stone house in the oak grove. If I am cap-
tured these papers will never reach him and his army will be
destroyed.
DAVID : Give them to me, sir. Dolly and I will see that they are
delivered safely.
MR. LIVINGSTON: I don't see how you will manage, for all the
roads will be guarded. Even the most innocent looking people
will be searched. You cannot afford to let these papers fall into
enemy hands.
DOLLY : Davy and I will look after everything.
MR. LIVINGSTON (Rising) : You are a brave little maid, and your
brother is a staunch lad, even if he is a rascal at times. Now I
must leave you. Good luck to you and to our righteous cause.
(FATHER exits left.)
MRS. LIVINGSTON : Good-bye, my dears. I trust you will be safe.
I will see your father to the old mill. As soon as the soldiers are
gone, Uncle Peter will kindle a fire in the wash house and when
Father sees the smoke signal, he will come home. (MOTHER
exits left.)
DOLLY (Perching herself on the table with MARY ANNE) : How
long will it be till the soldiers come, Davy?
DAVID (Busy reading the plans) : I don't know. But we must
think of a way to fool them and find a place to hide these papers.
DOLLY : As long as I have Mary Anne and you, Davy, I am not
one bit afraid, and Mary Anne isn't afraid either. Aren't you
ashamed, Davy, that you called her a Tory? Why, there isn't a
more loyal doll in the colonies than Mary Anne.
DAVID (Getting idea as he looks at the doll) : Say, Dolly, I have
an idea ! We'll use Mary Anne to fool the soldiers.
DOLLY (Jumping off table) : How?
DAVID (Producing pen knife from pocket) : You run and get
Mother's sewing basket. Be sure to bring a needle with a good
strong thread. We'll cut a slit in Mary Anne's back and sew the
papers inside with her stuffings.)
DOLLY (Screaming): No, no, no! Not my Mary Anne! Oh,
Davy, you're a cruel, wicked boy ! Why, that's a million times
worse than drowning her in the well.
842 DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
DAVID: Now, listen, Dolly. Be sensible. Mary Anne is only a rag
doll. She can't feel a thing I
DOLLY : She can too. She's my very own child and I'm her mother.
I won't stay here to see her tortured.
DAVID (Catching hold of DOLLY as she tries to run away) : Aw
shucks, Dolly. Give me that doll and let me hide those papers.
(Kneels before her and speaks in a coaxing voice.) Look, then
she'd be a hero and save the whole army. You said just now she
was loyal to the cause. Now's her chance to suffer for her
country just like a soldier on the battlefield.
DOLLY : Would she really be a hero, Davy?
DAVID : Sure she would. And maybe General Washington would
even give her a medal for bravery. Now be a good girl and let
me have her before the soldiers arrive.
DOLLY (Kissing MARY ANNE before she hands her over to
DAVID) : Now don't you be scared, Mary Anne. Davy says it
won't hurt a bit. Here she is, now mind you be careful. 1 11 go
get the needle and thread. (DOLLY exits left.)
DAVID (Pretending to slit the doll and stuff the papers inside) :
There, Mistress Mary Anne, you have a brand new set of in-
sides. Now you are a servant of General Washington under his
orders. I must say you were a brave patient. Not a peep out of
you. (DOLLY enters with needle and thread.) You better do the
sewing, Dolly, you'll do a neater job.
DOLLY (Covering her eyes as she sits at the table) : Oh, I couldn't.
You do it, Davy. Her dress will hide the stitches. I can't bear
to look.
DAVID (Sits on floor and sews up the doll) : I always said you
were a silly little goose. Now I am sure of it. I bet Til sew
her so that she stays sewed for good. (As he is sewing, DOLLY
becomes conscious of the sound of riding. She crosses right
to listen.)
DOLLY : Hurry, Davy, someone is coming. Someone is riding up
the drive.
DAVID (Runs right to look out) : You're right, Dolly. It's a Hes-
sian Captain. Now remember — not a word about Father's
being heire.
DOLLY : Oh, Davy, I'm scared.
DAVID : Nonsense ! I have a plan and you must show me what a
good little play actress you can be.
DOLLY : I don't know how to be an actress.
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY 843
DAVID: Oh, yes you do. Look, I'm going to pretend to drown
Mary Anne in the well, just as I did before. And I want you
to scream and holler and carry on for dear life — just the way
you did when Father caught me.
DOLLY: Oh, I will. I will.
DAVID: Mind — if you don't, I'll throw her in the well for real.
DOLLY : Oh, I'll scream and cry as loud as I can.
DAVID : You let me do the talking, I'm going to pretend that you
are not my sister at all. I'll say your name is Betty McClellan.
Understand?
DOLLY: No, but I know enough to scream and cry. (Offstage —
"Squad, halt. Ground arms. Surround the house. Let no one
escape. I'll search the yard myself" DAVID seizes MARY ANNE
and approaches the weft. DOLLY goes into her act, paying no
attention to the CAPTAIN who enters and stares at them in
amazement.)
DOLLY: Help! Help! Oh, please, Davy, please don't drown my
Mary Anne Please, please. Oh, help, help !
DAVID: Stop screaming, you little goose. 'Twon't do a mite of
good. Mary Anne is not a patriot and I'm going to drown her
in the well for sure.
DOLLY: Oh, please, please. Oh, you wicked boy. You'll pay for
this. I'll tell your father. Oh, please, help, help, help.
CAPTAIN: Well, upon my word! What goes on here? Stop, you
wretched boy! What are you doing with this child's doll?
DAVID : I'm going to drown her in the well because she's a wicked
Tory and loyal to King George, that's what I'm going to do.
CAPTAIN (Rescuing doll) : You're going to do nothing of the sort.
Here, child, take your doll (Seising DAVID by the collar) and
tell me what to do with this young ruffian. I think the flat of
my sword is what he needs, and he shall have it, if you say
the word.
DOLLY: Oh, thank you, kind sir. (Curtsies) Thank you very
much.
CAPTAIN (Shaking DAVID) : Speak up, you young rascal, and tell
me what you mean by such treatment Is this the way George
Washington teaches his rebels to behave?
DAVID: You let me go. You're on her side. That's Betty Mc-
Clellan and she has no business playing in our yard. I was
only teasing her so she'd take her old doU and go home.
844 DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
CAPTAIN: And so she shall. (To DOLLY) Where do you live,
little maid?
DAVID {Quickly) : In the big stone house on the hill near the oak
grove.
CAPTAIN: Are you sure you can find the way there safely?
DOLLY: Oh, yes, sir.
CAPTAIN : I have a little maid at home about your age. She has
a whole family of dolls. Now run along. Don't be afraid of the
soldiers. They will do you no harm. Just tell them you have
Captain Parr's permission to go to your home.
DOLLY: Thank you, sir.
CAPTAIN (Examining the doll, much to DAVID'S alarm) : What a
pretty doll you have there! What is her name?
DOLLY : Mary Anne, sir. Mother gave her to me last Christmas.
CAPTAIN : No wonder you love her so dearly.
DOLLY : She's my favorite child, sir. Thank you for saving her.
CAPTAIN: You're welcome, child. Don't dawdle on the road.
Your mother will be worried about you.
DAVID: Yes and run all the way or I'll catch that old doll and
drown her in the deepest well I can find. (DOLLY runs off left.)
CAPTAIN : Are all you rebels so bloodthirsty? Aren't you ashamed
to tease so small a child? But 'tis none of my business how you
savages treat each other. Come, what is your name and where
are your folks?
DAVID : My name is David Livingston and my mother and father
are not at home.
CAPTAIN : Where are they?
DAVID: They took the road to Philadelphia.
CAPTAIN: I don't mind telling you, boy, we are on the lookout
for some important papers which we have reason to believe are
in this neighborhood. Do you know anything about them?
DAVID: Nothing, sir. And Father and Mother are really not at
home. You are welcome to go into the house and see for
yourself.
CAPTAIN : I'll soon make a thorough search. As for you — if you
stir from that spot, I'll skin you alive. (CAPTAIN exits left caU-
ing over his shoulder, "This way, men. We'll search the house.99)
DAVID (Wiping his brow) : Phew ! That was a close call. I won-
der if Dolly will reach the McClellan home in safety. If only
there was some way to be sure. Oh, well, I must appear cool
and collected. Poor Father. If they catch him, it will go hard
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY 845
with him. I believe my friend, the Captain, is returning. (Plast-
ily sits on chair.) Did you find anyone at home?
CAPTAIN (Reentering left) : No. Perhaps you are telling the truth
after all. You can tell your father when he comes home that he
has furnished the Hessian army with five hams and two saddle
horses.
DAVID (Rising in anger) : You thief.
CAPTAIN: Be careful of your language, son. War is war. You
should have thought of that when your patriots started this war.
DAVID: That's all right. We patriots are ready to sacrifice any-
thing for our independence.
CAPTAIN (Laughing) : Independence ! What does a lad your size
know about independence?
DAVID: I know plenty about it. I know that just last year in
Philadelphia our statesmen signed a paper that declared our
colonies free and independent of the British crown. But you
wouldn't understand that, since you are being paid to fight for
King George.
CAPTAIN : And whom would you fight for?
DAVID: For General George Washington and Freedom.
CAPTAIN : You are as likely to find freedom in this war as I am
to find a fortune in this old well. One of these days we'll catch
your fancy General and send him back to England in a cage.
In the meantime, don't let me catch you teasing any more little
girls or I'll give you the trouncing you deserve.
DAVID: I guess my father can take care of that.
CAPTAIN : And I hope he does — with a good stout switch. Sorry
I can't be here to see it done. Until then — my compliments.
(Bows stiffly.) Good day to you. (CAPTAIN exits right. Off
stage — "Squad — attention! Shoulder arms! Forward march!'')
DAVID (Watching them from right) : Thank goodness, they are
going. Really going 1 Now I can tell Uncle Pete to light the
signal in the wash house for father. (In a few seconds after
DAVID has made his exit right, GENERAL WASHINGTON enters
right.)
GENERAL: What a pleasant spot to rest awhile. Surely my old
friend will not keep me waiting long. (Gets a drink from the
dipper at the well.) In the meantime, I can sit down here and
go over these dispatches. (As he goes over his papers, DAVID
enters right.)
DAVID : Good afternoon, sir. Are you waiting for someone ?
846 DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
GENERAL: As a matter of fact, I am. Is this not the home of
Captain Livingston?
DAVID : Indeed, it is, sir, and I am his son, at your service, sir.
GENERAL: I had no idea the Captain had so grown-up a son. I
am General Washington, at your service, sir.
DAVID: General Washington!
GENERAL: You seem surprised. Perhaps your father was keeping
my visit a military secret.
DAVID : I am surprised and overwhelmed, sir. I have long waited
to meet you and be of service to you.
GENERAL: Well, now that you have met me, you can be of real
service to me by calling your father.
DAVID: Oh, that I have already done, sir. At least I have signalled
for him to come home.
GENERAL: Signalled? I do not understand.
DAVID: Well, you see, sir, just before you came, a detachment of
Hessian soldiers was here looking for Father. He had to hide
in the old mill until they had gone. Just now I gave the signal
that the coast was clear. ^
GENERAL: But the dispatches for General Wayne? Did your
father deliver them safely?
DAVID: Alas, no, sir. He had to flee before he could reach the
general.
GENERAL: Then it is too late! Wayne will attack. We stand to
loose everything.
DAVID : I don't think so, sir — not if my plans turn out all right.
GENERAL: Your plans! What do you have to do with it?
DAVID : Well, sir, you see, I sent my little sister.
GENERAL (In disgust) : Your little sister ! Lad, lad, this war is
for men and boys, not for little sisters.
DAVID : But you see, sir, she had her doll. . . .
GENERAL: Her doll! Boy, have you lost your senses?
DOLLY (Entering from left stage — very much excited. She runs
straight to DAVID without noticing the GENERAL.) : Oh Davy, I
did it ! I did it ! I gave Mary Anne to the General and he ripped
her open and read the paper and told me to tell you to tell the
General that everything will be all right. (Catching sight of
WASHINGTON) Oh, I beg your pardon, sir. I did not see we had
a guest.
DAVID : Dolly, this is General Washington.
DOLLY (Dropping a curtsey) : How do you do, sir. Mary Anne
and I are at your service.
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY 847
GENERAL: Delighted, my child. And who is Mary Anne?
DOLLY (Showing him the doll) : Mary Anne is my favorite child.
And she has done a brave deed for you this day. She let herself
be cut by a cruel knife and never cried once.
GENERAL: Indeed! I wish all my military plans might turn out
so successfully. I am greatly indebted to you young patriots.
By your wit and courage you have done our cause a great ser-
vice. I scarcely know how to thank you.
DOLLY: Oh, I do, sir.
DAVID (Reproachfully): Dolly! Remember your manners.
GENERAL: Let the child speak.
DOLLY: Well, you see, sir, it was really my dollie, my precious
Mary Anne, who had all the pain and suffering to bear. Davy
said that she would be a hero and that you might decorate her
for bravery, just the way you do your own soldiers. That would
thank us very, very much.
GENERAL: Would it indeed, child? Then it shall be done. (He
picks up DOLLY and MARY ANNE and perches them on the table
beside him. Removes medal from his own coat.) It gives me
great pleasure to be able to present this medal of my own to
Mary Anne, the bravest doll in the colonies, for her courage
under the knife and for her devotion to her country.
DOLLY: Oh, thank you, sir. Mary Anne and I will treasure it
forever.
DAVID (Solemnly) : And I promise on my sacred word of honor
never to try to drown or in any way molest this doll that has been
decorated by our General — the doll that saved an army.
THE END
NOT ONLY THE STRONG
by Helen E. Waite and Elbert M. Hoppenstedt
Characters
MRS. REYNOLDS, a girl of any desired age, but she should be taller
than others.
PRISCILLA REYNOLDS, about 12, but somewhat small for her age
DEBBIE BARNES, her friend
CAPTAIN REYNOLDS
WILLIAK REYNOLDS, about 14
HULDA
friends of Priscitta's, and about her age
JANE
ALICE
DORCAS
SIRAS WITCHFIELD, an Indian scout, an older boy
PREACHER MCBRIDE
SETTING: The family room of a Kentucky blockhouse, an August
day, 1783.
AT RISE : PRISCILLA REYNOLDS is arranging flowers at the table,
anr her friend DEBBIE BARNES, a sturdy girl, is dusting.
DEBBIE (Glancing at PRISCILLA) : You are the queerest girl in
Bryan's Station — and perhaps in all Kentucky! This makes
the sixth time today you've been moping over those blackeyed
susans and bluegrass!
PRISCILLA: I do want them to look just right when Father ar-
rives. (Moves from table,) Now how do you like it?
DEBBIE (Dubiously) : It's not a bit the way Mistress Gallen
makes her bouquets.
PRISCILLA (Quickly) : Oh, no! Mistress Gallen crowds her
flowers together into a wad, like this — (She clasps her hands
tightly.)
DEBBIE (Nodding) : And then she puts a frilly paper around
them, and it is so pretty.
848
NOT ONLY THE STRONG
849
PRISCILLA (Looking at her own arrangement thoughtfully) : Per-
haps that is the proper way to fix flowers, but oh, Debbie, I'm
always sorry for flowers when I see them stand so straight and
prim! I want them to look happy, as though the breeze was
playing with them.
DEBBIE (Laughing): I said you were queer! Sometimes you
want to mope over bluegrass all morning, and not do a single
useful thing; and then you're all in a dither because you're a
girl, and can't have adventures as an Indian scout, like your
brother.
PRISCILLA (Slowly) : It isn't the adventures I crave so much,
Debbie. But I would like to do things for Kentucky! I love
this wilderness. It makes you feel as though you ought to do
brave things for it, and (Her voice drops tiredly.) I'm the most
useless and helpless person at Bryan's Station. My mother
won't even let me work in the fields with the other girls.
DEBBIE (Coming across to comfort her) : That's because you
were so ill with the fever this spring. It was no fault of yours.
PRISCILLA : But my father says that every person here at Bryan's
Station should prove himself valuable to the settlement. And
William was stricken with the fever too — (PRISCILLA'S moth-
er, MISTRESS REYNOLDS, enters with fresh candles for the can-
dlesticks. She glances about the room approvingly.)
MISTRESS REYNOLDS : Praise is not good for children, but I will
say that I am well pleased with the look of the house. You girls
will be neat housewives within a few years.
DEBBIE (Curtseying) : Thank you, ma'am. (MISTRESS REYNOLDS,
having replaced candles, touches PRISCILLA'S shoulder affection-
ately.)
MISTRESS REYNOLDS: You have done well with your flowers,
Cilia. They make a bright spot for our eyes, and we must en-
deavor to do everything in our power to provide cheer and com-
fort for the new preacher. He comes from Philadelphia, a most
elegant city, and I fear he'll find our wilderness life very wild
and hard.
PRISCILLA: I really meant the flowers for Father —
MRS. REYNOLDS : He will be pleased to see them. And you have
found his favorite black-eyed susans and bluegrass. But when
the preacher arrives you will offer them to him as a welcoming
gift, I hope?
850 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
PMSCILLA (Wistfutty) : I did pick them especially for Father.
(With determination) Oh, Mother, there's something I want to
do — oh, so much !
MRS. REYNOLDS: Something you want to do, dear? What is it?
PRISCILLA: Mother, I — I — oh, I've been penned up in Bryan's
Station so long — I — I — want to go with Father tomorrow
when he rides to town to fetch the Preacher ! (Mas. REYNOUDS
is plainly taken aback. She stiffens and stares at her daughter
disapprovingly. PRISCILLA sees it and squirms uncomfortably,
but she plunges on breathlessly.) I — I could ride my pony,
Mother ! He — he can keep up with Father's horse !
MRS. REYNOLDS: PrisciUa! Such talk is unseemly. Why should
you, a little girl, go out with the Captain of Bryan's Station to
greet the new Preacher? It would be a very forward thing for
you to do. (PRISCILLA'S head droops.) Yes, hang your head,
my child, and remember a girl's place. Your father has well-
nigh spoiled you by allowing you to accompany him on short ex-
peditions. But now, when your Father goes with an escort to
meet the Preacher, it is unthinkable! Home, Priscilla, is the
proper place for all women, and little girls, especially, belong at
home. They should think of little else besides obeying and
pleasing their elders.
PRISCILLA (Meekly) : Yes, ma'am.
MRS. REYNOLDS: I know you have a brave spirit, child, but meek-
ness is more becoming to a girl. It is nearly time for your father
to return, and I must see that all is going well with the dinner.
(She leaves stage. When she is out of hearing, DEBBIE speaks
eagerly.)
DEBBIE : My mother said those very words to Hulda and me when
she chanced to hear Hulda wishing to be an Indian scout.
PRISCILLA (Impatiently) : But there ought to be opportunities
for girls to do great things for their country —
DEBBIE (Doubtfully) : God didn't mean us to do noble things —
(She is interrupted by the entrance of CAPTAIN REYNOLDS and
his son, WILLIAM, a boy about 14. The CAPTAIN is expected,
but the boy's arrival is a surprise. Both girls curtsey to the
CAPTAIN.)
CAPTAIN (Glancing about room) : Everything ready for our
honored guest? You will make a fine housewife, Cilia. I am
proud of you. (Touches WILLIAM'S shoulder.) And you will
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 851
be proud of your brother : All alone he has journeyed from Fort
Lexington, over dangerous roads and through lonely forests, to
bring me word from Siras Witchfield— a good two days before
I looked for his return. (He crosses to table, seats himself, and
busies himself with papers.)
WILLIAM (Swaggering a little) : Where have you left your man-
ners, girls? You've certainly been taught to curtsey to your
betters, and now that I'm a scout, trusted with important mes-
sages of Indian doings —
PRISCILLA (Scornfully) : Our betters! Poof!
DEBBIE (Alarmed) : Indians? Oh, is there — will there be new
trouble with the Indians?
CAPTAIN (Who has been listening) : No, Debbie, I think not.
The message Siras sent with William was that the Indians are
unusually quiet and peaceful. That is right, William?
WILLIAM (Rather meekly) : Yes, sir.
CAPTAIN : The Indians are learning we mean to hold our own in
this wilderness. They'll not molest us soon, I think. We've
given them some sharp lessons — (Suddenly sees flowers.)
Well, Cilia, you have been finding my favorite black-eyed susans
again. Thank you, child. I may be a rough soldier, but I do
confess I love the sight of flowers in our dark blockhouse.
PRISCILLA : Thank you, sir. (Pause.) Father —
CAPTAIN: Yes, Priscilla?
PRISCILLA : I — I want to do something very much. (Twists her
fingers nervously.) Oh, Father, when — when you go into town
to fetch the Preacher, won't you please let me ride Flash and
go with you? (DEBBIE gives a start, and makes a sound of pro-
test, while WILLIAM laughs scornfully. PRISCILLA ignores them
both. She steps nearer her Father, and speaks appeaKngly.)
Please, Father! I — I haven't been beyond this clearing for
weeks.
CAPTAIN (Thoughtfully) : Yes, I know. It is hard for you here
in the wilderness. I have been anxious about you lately, Pris-
cilla, and I have almost decided this Kentucky is no fit place
for you. At my first opportunity I think I shall send you to your
grandparents in Philadelphia.
PRISCILLA (Alarmed) : Oh, Father — no! I love the wilderness!
I'd stifle in Philadelphia ! Don't send me away. I want to see
this marvelous Kentucky grow into a great country !
852 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
CAPTAIN : Do you fed that way about our Kentucky? Yes, it is a
marvelous country.
PRISCILLA (Eagerly) : Some day it will have rich farms and fine
cities — like Boston and Philadelphia. (CAPTAIN nods.) And /
want to help make it grow, Father! I want people to remember
that I did something for God and Kentucky! That I was as
important .as William —
CAPTAIN (Sternly) : Priscilla!
PRISCILLA: But I do, sir!
CAPTAIN : Cilia, you must not indulge in such thoughts. They are
not wholesome for girls. And do not let me think you envy
William. Valor is not meant for girls.
PRISCILLA (Wistfully) : Then why are we born?
CAPTAIN: To make homes, my dear, gladden men, and inspire
them to do valiant things, but to help mold the country — no !
WILLIAM : How can girls Be so silly, sir? And do you know what
I heard Mr. Caldwell say the other week? It was after I had
brought the first message from Siras Witchfield. He remarked
it was a pity you couldn't have had two brave sons, in place of
a delicate daughter, like Priscilla —
CAPTAIN (Gravely) : I do not care for that speech, my son. It is
not kind to your sister, and no true man needs to boast of being
brave. Now, Priscilla, I am sorry for your disappointment, but
I certainly cannot take you with me when I go to meet Preacher
McBride. The roads are rough and dangerous, and we will
need to ride at top speed, for I dare not be absent from my post
here for more than a few hours. Besides it would be a most un-
seemly thing for you to go on such an errand. Someday, per-
haps', when there is not so much need for haste, I will take you.
But if you return to Philadelphia, you will journey to your
heart's content. (Enter MRS. REYNOLDS.)
MRS. REYNOLDS : I thought I heard your voice — why, William !
How glad I am you have returned safely ! Just in time for the
venison steak you like so well.
WILLIAM : I hope it is large 1
MRS. REYNOLDS (Laughing) : It is. Come now, all of you, and
prepare for dinner.
CAPTAIN (Rising) : 1 am yery. ready to do so. (CAPTAIN, MRS.
REYNOLDS, and WILLIAM leave stage. Girls linger.) '
PRISCILLA (Despairingly) : He will send me away to Philadelphia,
Debbie! I &nozc; he will!
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 853
DEBBIE : But wouldn't you like that? I thought you said you felt
so shut in?
PRISCILLA: Yes, I do, sometimes. But — (Throws out her hands}
Kentucky is so big and beautiful and — and free ! I belong here,
Debbie ! But I can't prove it to Mother or Father.
DEBBIE : God can prove it for you, Cilia.
PRISCILLA (Wistfully) : Do you think God considers girls? No
one else seems to think we're worth taking into account.
DEBBIE (Hugging her) : God thinks of everyone, Priscilla. And
if y6u really do belong here in Kentucky, He'll give you an op-
portunity to prove it.
PRISCILLA: I hope He'll do it very soon! (They walk toward
door.)
MRS. REYNOLDS (Calling off stage) : Cilia! Debbie! Make haste!
PRISCILLA : Yes, Mother. We're coming.
CURTAIN
SCENE 2
SETTING: The same, the next afternoon.
AT RISE: MRS. REYNOLDS is seated in the best chair, and PRIS-
CILLA sits opposite, at work on a sampler. She seems dejected.
MRS. REYNOLDS: The girls will be here any minute now, I im-
agine. Now, my dear, remember that you are the daughter of
the Captain of Bryan's Station, and must be a leader to the
others. When your Father arrives with the Preacher, you are
to give the signal to rise and make your curtseys. Then tell him
how grateful we are that he is honoring Bryan's Station with
his presence, and -nod to Dorcas Gallen to present her flowers.
PRISCILLA (Without spirit) : Yes, Mother. .
MRS. REYNOLDS (Looking at her sharply) : You are not in your
usual spirits, today, child. Are you quite well?
PRISCILLA: Yes, Ma'am.'
854 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
MRS. REYNOLDS (Doubtfully) : These past few days have been
most oppressive. And if you should have another bout of
fever —
PRISCILLA : Truly I am well, Mother.
MRS. REYNOLDS (Unconvinced) : I hope so. And I trust that you
do appreciate your father's arranging this little gathering of
your friends to make up for your disappointment in not going
into town? I very much fear he pampers you far too much. A
proper girl is demure, and retiring, Priscilla.
PRISCILLA (Sighing) : Yes, Mother.
MRS. REYNOLDS: See you remember — (She is interrupted by
the entrance of DEBBIE and HULDA.) Ah, my dears, I am glad
you could come. (Girls curtsey, and murmur thanks, and MRS.
REYNOLDS makes a gracious gesture.) Take your seats, girls.
(She watches with interest while HULDA takes her knitting, from
her pocket.) You have work to keep your fingers from being
idle this afternoon, too, I see, Hulda.
HULDA: Yes, ma'am. My knitting. Silly to work on it these
sticky days, but I always break and snarl the threads when I
sew, and Mother says I must be doing some worthy work.
MRS. REYNOLDS : A very wise mother, Hulda.
HULDA: I would sooner be at work in the garden. (MRS. REY-
NOLDS gases at her disapprovingly.)
DEBBIE (Warningly): Hulda!
HULDA : To work in the gardens is a worthy work, I am certain !
MRS. REYNOLDS (Reprovingly) : It is not for little girls to decide
which work is best for them. What is it you are making, child?
HULDA (Shrugging) : It is supposed to be a muffler — it makes
me hot just to think of a muffler today i
MRS. REYNOLDS : It is a cheerful color. Perhaps you will finish
it for Priscilla to wear if she journeys back to Philadelphia this
year — (She is startled by a sudden, suspicious sound from
PRISCILLA, and turns to see the girl dabbing at her eyes.) Pris-
cilla, you are crying! What ails you, child? (PRISCILLA gulps,
tries to speak, and only shakes her head. DEBBIE speaks im-
pulsively.)
DEBBIE: She is so afraid Captain Reynolds will send her back to
Philadelphia, ma'am. Oh, ma'am, please don't do it ! Cilia loves
the wilderness. She says she'd smother back East —
MRS. REYNOLDS (Sternly) : Priscilla must allow her father to
be the judge of what is best for her, Deborah. He has not quite
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 855
decided to send her to her grandparents, but if he does, Priscilla
must remember that even the grown men and women of Bryan's
Station obey the Captain's commands, and his own daughter
must not murmur! (To PRISCILLA in a softer tone.) I know
you are no scared bunny, my child, but your father fears the
frontier life may be too severe a strain for your strength. (WIL-
LIAM'S voice is heard saying, "The others are in here" and then
he appears, with DORCAS, JANE and ALICE. DORCAS carries two
typical, tight, round Colonial bouquets. She is a charming child,
with dainty ways and & pretty voice.)
WILLIAM : Here are the other girls, Mother.
MRS. REYNOLDS : You are very welcome, my dears. I am glad you
will be here to greet Preacher McBride.
DORCAS: We were glad to come, ma'am. Mother sent you this
nosegay with her compliments. The other is for the Preacher.
(She presents flowers to MRS. REYNOLDS with a curtsey.)
MRS. REYNOLDS (Much pleased) : My compliments to your moth-
er, Dorcas, and please tell her I am much flattered to receive a
gift of her prized flowers. (Rises.) Now I'll leave you to your
own devices, and have a happy afternoon. (The girls all stand
while she leaves stage. WILLIAM remains long enough to say
impishly.)
WILLIAM : Mind your manners well, when the Preacher arrives,
girls! (Exit.)
PRISCILLA : Of course your own manners are already nicely pol-
ished! (But he has gone before her retort is finished.)
ALICE (Sighing) : I wish my brother was old enough to be an
Indian scout! They are so important in Kentucky. William
was telling me all about it.
HULDA (Dryly) : Oh, William is a very noble scout I (The girls
take up their various work, sewing, knitting or sampler-
stitching.)
JANE: Oh, Priscilla, aren't you thrilted to think of entertaining
the Preacher?
DORCAS : It is a great honor that Captain Reynolds asked us to be
here with Priscilla to be the first to greet Preacher McBride
when he arrives. I was so excited when William brought the
message this morning!
ALICE : Captain Reynolds came to our door himself. And after he
asked my mother if I might come this afternoon, he talked a
856 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
long time with my brother James and his wife. He was much
interested in their plans for their journey next month.
DORCAS: Oh, does your brother James mean to leave Kentucky?
ALICE: N-no. Just for several months. They're going to Phila-
delphia to help my grandmother dispose of her house and things,
and bring her back to Bryan's Station to live with us. (At the
word "Philadelphia" PRISCILLA starts and drops several stitches
of her knitting. She and DEBBIE exchange frightened glances.
Then PRISCILLA bends her head over work.)
DEBBIE : How — how soon does — does your brother plan to go?
ALICE : Oh, after the hot weather is gone, and before the autumn
storms begin. Your grandparents live in Philadelphia, don't
they, Priscilla? (Before PRISCILLA can answer WILLIAM bursts
in upon the group. He is excited and panting.)
WILLIAM : Cilia, where — where is Mother? Quick! (Girls stare
at him.)
PRISCILLA : She left us just after Jane and Dorcas came. I don't
know where she is now. What happened? Is anyone hurt?
WILLIAM : I can't find her anywhere ! And there's no time to lose !
(Girls exchange frightened glances.)
PRISCILLA: William, what is it? (Sharply) William, has some-
thing happened to Father?
WILLIAM : No — no ! But — oh, it isn't anything for girls to
hear! (PRISCILLA is on her feet now. Despite being small, she
seems suddenly commanding.)
PRISCILLA: William Reynolds, tell us at once what awful thing
has happened!
WILLIAM (Desperately) : Well — if you must know — Siras
Witchfield has just come in with word that the Indians are
planning an attack on Bryan's Station — today. Since Father's
away I must take Siras to Mother. (DORCAS gives a frightened
cry. JANE claps her hands over her mouth. HULDA has been
standing near window. Now she turns.)
HULDA: Your mother has just entered the gate. (WILLIAM darts
off.)
JANE: An Indian attack! (She shivers.)
DEBBIE : And the Captain away !
DORCAS : What will we do?
PRISCILLA (With sudden determination) : Girls, I mean to go
hear what Siras Witchfield has to say. If there are prepara-
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 857
tions to be made, there must be something we can do to help.
(She hurries off.)
DEBBIE: And only yesterday Siras Witchfield sent word by Wil-
liam that the Redskins were unusually quiet and peaceful ! The
Captain never would have left the Station had he had a sus-
picion of this!
JANE: Do — do you think the, Indians knew he was to be away?
ALICE (Shuddering) : Most likely they did. They are crafty crea-
tures. Oh — oh — (Her voice rises in fear.) I wish I had
never seen this miserable Kentucky!
HULDA: Don't be silly, Alice! This isn't the first time the Indians
have tried to attack Bryan's Station ! We can defend the Station
even in the Captain's absence — (Enter PRISCILLA. She is plain-
ly excited, and yet controlled.)
PRISCILLA : Girls, Siras says we have a good chance of beating off
the attack if we can summon the men from the fields in time.
William has gone to call them. And we have plenty of food and
ammunition. But, girls, we must have more water, and we must
have it at once.
DEBBIE : But — but our well is outside the stockade ! if the men
go for water now — the Indians would surely —
PRISCILLA : They would swoop down upon the men. But if we go
after the water, they'll never guess we know their plans, and
they wouldn't dare attack us for fear of giving the alarm, before
they want us to know they are about. (Girls glance at one
another in fear and doubt.)
DORCAS (Tearfully) : You — you mean that we girls must go for
the water?
PRISCILLA : We always go in the morning. The Indians will never
suspect that this is different.
JANE : But suppose they do? Oh, Priscilla, we mustn't!
PRISCILLA : Bryan's Station needs water. There is no one else to
go. It's for God and Kentucky.
ALICE: I — I just can't! I'd die of fright before I was halfway
to the well! I tell you I can't, Priscilla. (Others shake their
heads. PRISCILLA looks at them steadily. Then she turns to
HULDA.)
PRISCILLA: My father said once that you had courage, Hulda.
Will you come with me?
HULDA (Rising) : For months I've been pining for a chance to
858 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
test my courage against my brothers'. Yes — I'm ready.
DEBBIE (Stands) : And so am I. (As they start from stage, other
girls hesitate, then rise.)
ALICE: Wait — wait, Priscilla. We're all going.! (Her voice
trembles and PRISCILLA slips an arm about her.)
PRISCILLA: We'll each take two buckets. God will let us save
Bryan's Station. I'm sure He means we should.
CURTAIN
SCENES
SETTING : By rearranging the furniture, and removing one or two
articles, the stage should be made to represent another room
from the one in which the first two scenes have been played.
AT RISE : MRS. REYNOLDS is seated in a high-backed chair, toward
the left of stage, and SIRAS WITCHFIELD standing before her.
WILLIAM stands by her chair.
MRS. REYNOLDS : An Indian attack is frightful enough at any time,
but now — with the Captain away — !
SIRAS : Take heart, Ma'am. Our commander may be away, but
all the men of Bryan's Station are brave soldiers, and William
will warn those who are in the fields. You say you have fresh
supplies of food and ammunition. If only your wells were with-
in the stockade, everything would be safe.
MRS. REYNOLDS: But they're not inside the stockade!
SIRAS (Glancing from window) : No. It is a goodly distance
from the gates to the well. And over exposed fields.
MRS. REYNOLDS (Shuddering* : And anyone we sent would be at
the full mercy of the Indians !
SIRAS: Yet we must have the water!... (Turns to WILLIAM
Well, boy, be on your way to the fields. Don't show excitement.
Whistle and sing as you go, but make your rounds as speedily as
possible. Tell the men not to run for the fort, but to reach their
posts quickly. Understand?
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 859
WILLIAM: Yes, sir. (Starts toward door.)
MRS. REYNOLDS : And God be with you, my son. (She is silent as
• WILLIAM leaves stage, then looks at SIRAS.) Now, Mr. Witch-
field, what may we do — what must we do about the water? I
fear our water barrels are very low — it goes so quickly these
hot days. ( SIRAS runs his fingers through his hair, looks away
and shakes his head.) Come, Mr. Witchfield, you must tell me
what to do. I depend on you.
SIRAS (Soberly) : I don't know how to advise you, Mrs. Reynolds.
We are in a grave plight. Water we must have, yet how to get
it —
MRS. REYNOLDS : When the men come in from the fields we must
risk sending them —
SIRAS : You dare not send the men or bdys, ma'am. It would be a
certain signal for the Redskins' attack. The Indians know the
girls go to fetch the water.
MRS. REYNOLDS (Springing up) : And we dare not send the girls !
( SIRAS shrugs ; and turns away from her.)
SIRAS: The water must be brought — (MRS. REYNOLDS looks
from window and suddenly shrieks.)
MRS. REYNOLDS : Siras ! See ! Priscilla and the other girls ! Out
there, past the gate !
SIRAS (Striding to window) : What! Yes — yes, I see them! One
— two — six in all. But it's a marvel the sentry allowed them to
pass.
MRS. REYNOLDS : Priscilla is free to pass any hour during the day ;
he would never question her errand. Siras, they must have
heard us ! They are going for the water !
SIRAS : And see how Priscilla urges on the two laggards.
MRS. REYNOLDS (Hysterically) : Oh, Siras, stop them! If the In-
dians are lurking about, the girls will be killed or captured!
(She starts from window, but SIRAS detains her.)
SIRAS: You cannot stop them now, Mrs. Reynolds. See, they are
already at the well, drawing water. I think we have little cause
to fear for their safety. The Indians wish to take us by surprise,
so they are not likely to harm the girls. I did not dare suggest
sending them, but it was the only way for us to fetch the water
— see, they are turning. In only a little while —
MRS. REYNOLDS: Why don't they hurry ?
SIRAS: The worst possible thing for them to do.
MRS. REYNOLDS : Jane is looking back. Perhaps the Redskins —
Oh, will they ever reach the stockade! Someone stumbled!
860 NOT ONLY THE STRONG
SIRAS : They are almost here, now. See how Priscilla laughs and
talks with them. She is a brave girL
MRS. REYNOLDS (Who, now that danger to the girls is over, real-
ises that PRISCILLA has not been behaving like a self-effacing,
demure child) : She is more foolhardy than brave.
SIRAS : If this was her idea, she may have saved the Station.
MRS. REYNOLDS (Disapprovingly) : She should not have gone
without my permission ! (Presses nearer window, speaking ex-
citedly) Siras, look! Isn't that — isn't that —
SIRAS : It is! — It is the Captain and the Preacher! Thank God.
Everything favors us today. (The girls enter. They are breath-
less and somewhat disheveled.)
PRISCILLA : We — we brought in more water, Mother. Two buck-
ets apiece.
MRS. REYNOLDS: Yes, I know. Siras and I watched from the
window. It was a desperate and foolhardy thing to do.
SIRAS : Save your scolding, ma'am. We have too much to thank
her for. You were a brave girl, Priscilla —
PRISCILLA : So were the other girls !
SIRAS : The Captain will be proud of what you've done this day.
(Enter CAPTAIN and PREACHER, quickly.)
CAPTAIN: What has been happening here? We sighted the girls
returning from the well — in mid-afternoon, and knew some-
thing was wrong.
SIRAS : Your daughter and her friends have shown much courage,
Captain. I brought word that the Indians are surrounding the
Station for an attack, and we were low on water —
CAPTAIN : And do I understand, sir, that you sent the girls — ?
SIRAS (Drawing himself up stiffly) : No, sir. They went of their
own accord.
CAPTAIN : Your pardon, Siras. I should have known you would
not expose young girls to such dangers. (Turning to PRIS-
CILLA) You have courage, child, and all Bryan's Station will be
grateful to you. You wished for an opportunity to be of service
to Kentucky, and when the time came, you were equal to it.
DEBBIE (Eagerly) : She was brave, sir. Some of us were fright-
ened, and tried to run back, but Priscilla made us go on, and
she laughed and sang —
PRISCILLA : I asked God to give us all courage.
PREACHER: Is this the child you told me you were so anxious
about, Captain Reynolds?
NOT ONLY THE STRONG 861
CAPTAIN: This is Priscilla, yes.
PREACHER: You gave me to understand you would ask my advice
about her future. I think, sir, she has earned her right to remain
in Kentucky.
PRISCILLA (Awed) : Oh! God did send me -the opportunity to
prove that girls can be of value and service in this wilderness,
and now He's going to let me stay in Kentucky! I — I wish I
could thank Him properly.
MRS. REYNOLDS: Perhaps Preacher McBride can do that. Will
you, sir?
PREACHER: Gladly will I give thanks for both your courage and
the successful accomplishment of your errand, Priscilla. (All
bow heads. He begins prayer as the curtain jatts.) Father, we
thank Thee for the courage and strength which were given to
this lass and to her friends to brave danger for the good of the
people of Bryan's Station....
THE END
PRODUCTION NOTES
MAKE HIM SMILE
Characters: 4 male ; 5 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Mrs. Bimilie is dressed
in quaint, rather dowdy clothes—a
long black dress, and later a bonnet
and shawl. The dolls are dressed
to represent the various kinds men-
tioned. Mr. Crossby is dressed in
everyday dress.
Properties: Address book, letter,
pen, envelope;
Setting: At rear center and dia-
gonally at either side are placed
low flights of steps covered with
striped or gaily colored papers upon
which the dolls stand. There is a
door left center, and down left
stands _ a closed ^ Jack-in-the-Box.
Near it is a rocking chair.
CHINA COMES TO You
Characters: 8' male; 8 female; 2
characters dressed like lions, and
one as a dragon.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Dorothy wears a school
dress. The Chinese children wear
trousers of gay colors, with con-
trasting jackets. The tightly fitting,
small black caps of the boys top
long queues which may be made
from strips of black silk, braided
together and tied at the ends with
gay ribbons or string and sewed to
the caps. The girls wear large
Chinese hats, or they may wear
flowers in their hair. The gods are
elaborately attired in silk gowns
and many jewels. May Ling wears
a flowered pajama suit over which
she may wear a silk kimono coat
The servant's garb is more somber.
Flo Flo and the lions wear animal
costumes and masks.
Properties: Sets of chopsticks,
bowls of rice, plates, bowls of tea,
straw pallet, pin, American nag
pins.
Setting: Chinese screens may be
switched for the two different in-
teriors. For the screens, Chinese
pictures may be tacked to frames.
Chinese lanterns may be used for
decorations. There is a raised dais
at wall center, on which stands a
large frame, behind which sits the
Kitchen God. The Dragon sits be-
side him. There is a Chinese screen
at right, which conceals the place
where May Ling and the servant
prepare the meal A lighted incense
burner stands on a small table in
front of the Kitchen God. In scene
2, the screens are removed and there
is nothing on the stage except the
throne of the Sun God, which
should be a gilded chair decorated
with dragons.
WHAT'S A PENNY?
Characters: 5 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Thrift wears a costume
with dollar signs all over it Pen-
nies are glued on a white band
around her hair. Children wear
everyday school clothes.
Properties: Five pennies, three pig-
gy banks.
Setting: None required.
THE DULCE MAN
Characters: 3 male; 2 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Simple Mexican cos-
tumes. Jose's costume is more
elaborate than the others.
Properties: Coins, small table filled
with various pieces of candy and
covered with a white doth, strings,
top, balls, spoon, colored handker-
chiefs, small toy mouse on a string;
large stone jar, letter in an enve-
lope, flags, flowers, cape for Jose.
Setting: There are trees, shrubs and
seats as in a small park. To the
left, upstage is a stone fountain.
THE TAUBNT TREE
Characters: 6 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Bobbins wears everyday
clothes. Sundown is in a frayed
and rather wrinkled suit The
Talents should be dressed to
suggest their arts. Art's dress may
be a long, flowing one of beautiful
colors. The Whistler is dressed in
overalls and a straw hat The Poet
wears a long, white robe. Acrobat
wears a brilliantly-colored Harle-
quin costume with full sleeves and
862
PRODUCTION NOTES
863
legs, caught in at the wrists and
ankles. Culinary Art is in a chef's
apron and hat and may carry a mix-
ing bowl and ladle. Gardener wears
overalls.
Properties: Flute, notebook, pencil,
mixing bowl, ladle, garden tools:
Setting: Shrubs and the Talent
Tree are at right center. The tree
is an odd-looking one, wide enough
at the base to hide the Talents.
Shrubbery may be extended to en-
trance if desired. The moss-covered
rocks placed downstage right, in
front of tree and left provide seats.
Lighting: A red spot from the
wings may be used to reflect the
glow from the setting sun. This is
gradually dimmed and blue over-
heads and spots are used for the
approach of night
Note: Suitable tunes may be se-
lected for entrance of Talents.
A CHINESE RIP VAN WINKLE
Characters: 9 male, 3 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: May vary from hand
dyed and decorated pajamas to real
Chinese robes. Chorus should wear
a good deal of red. Male charac-
ters wear conventional Chinese
skirt and skullcap. The women wear
loose fitting coats and trousers. Both
male and female wear soft-soled
slippers. Papier-mache mask for
Dragon's head. Property Man wears
black. White Hare wears white rab-
bit suit or white Chinese costume.
Properties: Cymbals for musicians,
lanterns, long fake cigarette for
Property Man, basket and axe,
which can crumble later, for Wang
Chih. Chinese fan. Baskets for
other laborers. Sweetmeats and
artificial beards which can unroll
for Old Men. Artificial beard and
hump for Wang Chih. Lanterns for
people in procession. Bottle full of
water for Property Man, who later
gives it to Wang Chih, gold paper
ball representing sun for Property
Man. Stick and feather, represent-
ing White Crane, for Wang Chih.
White and red tissue paper stream-
ers for Sky Dragon. Gilt moon for
Property Man. Dish and stick, and
water representing Elixir of Life,
for White Hare. Match for Wang
Chih. Property Man holds up
sparklers to represent fireflies.
Note: With exception of lanterns
carried in procession, and streamers
blown from Sky Dragon's mouth,
all properties are placed in and
around property box at left, for
Property Man to get and pass on to
other actors.
Setting: Bare stage, backdrop of
houses and rice fields, table, chair.
GREY GHOSTS
Characters: 4 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: Lewis, Alice and John
are dressed in camping clothes.
Dave wears a khaki shirt and pants.
Properties: Scene 1: Box of
marshmallows, long sticks. Scene 2 :
Guest book, pencil, a pair of binoc-
ulars, canteen of water, paper cups.
Setting: Scene 1: A clearing in the
woods. There is a tent in the back-
ground. A campfire of red coals is
"burning" center stage. A bathing
suit is hanging on a line at one
side and duffle bags and a carton
of supplies are on the ground at the
other side. Scene 2: The fire war-
den's lookout It is furnished with
a table, four straight chairs. Maps
and charts hang on the wall. On
the table is a clock, a telephone,
more maps, the guest book.
Lighting: Scene 1: The lighting is
quite dim and becomes dimmer
after the fire is put out. Scene 2:
As bright as possible.
OLD MAN RIVER
Characters: 2 male, 5 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday clothes. Mr.
Peters wears an old cap and a
raincoat Jim wears a raincoat, rain
helmet and high boots. Miss Marsh
wears a dark coat, hat and rubbers.
Properties: Knitting, magazine,
flashlight, three candles and candle-
sticks, book, dress box, blanket,
small ba£ for Miss Marsh, umbrella,
cane, winter coats for Betty and-
Rose, lantern, two cups and saucers,
a jar of coffee.
864
PRODUCTION NOTES
Setting: Modem American living
room in a modest home. Exits are
at right and left rear. There is a
window at side. Kitchen and back
porch are reached through right
door; telephone, bedrooms and attic
through left door.
Lighting: At rise stage is rather
dim. Lights go off on cue.
ONE-RING CIRCUS
Characters: 6 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Modern, everyday dress.
Properties: Dishpan of sawdust,
small wooden or metal box contain-
ing an imaginary or toy mouse,
mouth organ, jump rope, stack of
books, key collections, cardboard
box containing a piece of wire and
some gadgets and two linked rings
which can be separated.
Setting: All that is required is sev-
eral odd crates and boxes about the
stage.
SPECIAL EDITION
Characters: 4 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern dress.
Properties: Stack of papers, ac-
count books, worn black notebook,
bag of cookies, coins.
Setting: The stage is divided into
three parts. Down the middle is a
strip representing a hallway in a
large house. At the end of the hall
is a telephone and stand. To the
right of the hall is Patsy's room.
A sign, "Neighborhood News" is
tacked on the door. There is a
typewriter on a table in this room.
To the left of the hall is Chuck's
room. A sign, "What's Up," is
tacked on the door. The rooms need
not have partitions. They can be
marked off with lines on the stage,
with screens serving as doors be-
tween the halls and both rooms.
Simple furniture suggesting a com-
bination study-room and office is
used. Note: Actors in each room,
of course, pay no attention to what
happens elsewhere on the stage.
THE WAY TO NORWICH
Characters: 6 male, 4 female, 1
male or female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The Children, the Boy
and the Girls wear everyday mod-
ern dress. The Man in the Moon
wears a long cape and dark hat
Chair Mender wears old suit as
does Old Clothes Man. The Pony
wears brown suit and a mask made
of cardboard.
Properties: Four porridge dishes,
notebook and pencil, chair for
Chair Mender, bag of clothes for
Old Clothes Man.
Setting: None required.
LOUISA ALCOTT'S WISH
Characters: 4 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The players wear clothes
of the period. In Scene 2 Louisa is
dressed in a pink dress, white hat
and green shoes. The O'Rourkes
are shabbily clothed. Giant wears a
one-piece brown garment which
covers his entire body. He may also
wear an animal head or large
brown ears.
Properties: Books, paper, pencil,
hoop, tin can with a string tied to
it, scraggly fur piece, paper bag,
food wrapped in waxed paper, din-
ner bell, cord.
Setting: Scene 1 is a comfortably
furnished room. A sofa, chairs, ta-
bles, lamps, etc., may be used as
desired. There are a great many
books about, in bookcases and on
the tables. Scene 2 may be played
before a painted backdrop or a plain
cyclorama. There is a bench in the
center of the stage and various
shrubs and trees here and there.
Scene 3 is the same as Scene 1.
THE UNUSUAL FLOWER
Characters: 4 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: The Patriarch is in a
dressing gown. A rug thrown
over his legs conceals most of his
clothing. The children wear Kate
Greenaway costumes. In Scene 2
bright neckties, hair ribbons, sashes,
etc., are added to give a festive a>.
PRODUCMOS NOTES
865
Properties: Rug, horn-rimmed spec-
tacles, two books. In Scene 2 each
child carries his or her flower
wrapped in tissue paper.
Setting: Only a few benches or
chairs are required, although of
course, the setting may be as elab-
orate as facilities permit
THE LANGUAGE SHOP
Characters: 12 male; 5 female.
Boys or girls may be used for all
the parts (except Fifi and the cit-
izens) as desired.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Principal wears a black
dress, wears glasses, and carries a
book. Fifi wears a party dress. The
Messenger boy wears a messen-
ger's uniform. The Greek Citizen
and the Roman Citizen may wear
tunics. The Soldier wears a uni-
form. The rest of the characters
wear everyday dress and carry the
appropriate signs as indicated,
Properties: Many boxes of differ-
ent shapes and sizes. A number of
cardboard signs are required read-
ing, "Slightly Used Adectives,"
"Adverbs — Shopworn," "Reduced
in Price." Sign containing^ ex-
cerpt from Constitution indicated
in play, "Someone," "Everybody,"
"Anyone," "Anybody," "Done,"
"Have," "His," "Swell," etc.
Setting: There is a long counter
across the stage. Behind it are
shelves piled with various types of
boxes. There are a number of
boxes open on the counter.
THE TRIAL OF BILLY SCOTT
Characters: 7 male; 6 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: All the characters are
in everyday clothes, except the
Judge who may wear a black robe.
Properties: Toy wagon, gavel.
Setting:- The Judge's desk is on a
raised platform at the center rear
of the stage. There is a table at
the right where the accused and
his lawyer sit, and another at the
left for the plaintiff and his attor-
ney. Chairs for the witnesses are
at right, and a table for the court
reporter is just in front of the
Judge's desk The witness stand is
at the immediate right of the
Judge's desk.
CHILDREN OP THE CALENDAR
Characters: 7 male; 6 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Father Time wears a
long robe and has a grey beard.
January, a boy, is dressed in win-
ter clothing. Christmas tree icicles
and artificial snow (soap flakes)
are on his shoulders. February, a
very short boy, also wears winter
clothing with a cap pulled low over
his face. March, April and May
wear bright spring dresses with
mayflowers and apple blossoms in
their hair. June, July and August
wear fluffy summer dresses. June
has roses in her hair. July has a
flag draped about her. August has
summer flowers in her hair. ^Sep-
tember, a boy, is dressed in a
bright suit October wears a yel-
low or orange suit with a Hal-
loween hat November wears a dark
suit with a wide paper collar and
a Pilgrim hat December is dressed
in a Santa Claus costume or reg-
ular winter clothing.
Properties: Scythe for Father
Time, paper for the children's pic-
tures, basket of apples.
Setting: All that is required is a
long, low table with chairs around
it Paper, scissors, paste, paints,
crayons are on the table. Down
right is a fireplace.
MUCH ADO ABOUT ANTS
Characters: 4 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern
clothes.
Properties: Catcher's mitt, bundle
of mail, magazine, jump rope,
vacuum cleaner, two trumpets,
plate of doughnuts.
Setting: Modern American living
room. There are doors at left and
right A desk with a typewriter
and paper on it is at right There
is a table in the center of the room.
A rocking chair with arms is at
866
PRODUCTION NOTES
the left Other chairs, lamps, and
a couch make up the furnishings.
MIDNIGHT BURIAL
Characters: 8 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Modern camp costumes.
Properties: Large, square parcel
wrapped in brown paper and con-
taining a cake; hoe, pail of water.
Setting: A night out-of-doors set-
ting. A few bushes and small trees
may be placed about the stage.
Lighting: Lighting should be dim
throughout the play.
THE LITTLE CIRCUS DONKEY
Characters: 10 male.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Clowns wear traditional
clown suits. The Music Maker, the
Piper, and the two Drummers wear
regular clothes. The animals wear
Dr. Denton suits painted the appro-
priate color. The animal faces may
be cut from cardboard and colored
and tied around the actor's face like
a mask.
Properties: Drums, pipe, harmonica
for Music Maker.
Setting: Boxes, covered with crepe
paper to resemble tree stumps, and
greens are placed about the stage.
If desired, a backdrop of a wood-
land scene may be used.
How WE GOT OUR NUMBERS
Characters: 7 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern clothes
for Aunt Polly, Bill, and Mary Ann.
The Hindu wears a colorful turban,
long white tunic which buttons high
at the throat and white trousers.
The Grand Vizier dresses' like a
character in Arabian Nights. Ali
wears a traditional Arab costume,
wide trousers, gathered at the ankles,
flowing robe and an Arabian head-
dress. Leonardo wears a doublet,
short velvet cape, velvet hat with
plume. Antonio and Roberto are
dressed in a similar fashion.
Properties: School books, pencils,
paper, Oriental gong, scroll, old
clock with Roman numbers on face.
Setting: A modern living room.
There is a long table, an easy chair
for Aunt Polly, footstool, an old
dock, and other tables and chairs.
The center part of the stage only is
used, leaving space on the sides for
dramatized episodes.
Lighting: Spotlights should be used
for the scenes played on the side of
the stage.
PIFILE! IT'S ONLY A SNIFFLE!
Characters: 7 male; 3 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern dress
for school children, Teacher, Prin-
cipal, Doctor, Mother, Father and
Johnny. In Scene 1 Johnny is wear-
ing outdoor clothes. The Mighty
Germ is dressed in a sickly green
costume. On his head he wears a
dunce cap similar in color to his
tight-fitting costume. The Sun wears
a bright yellow costume.
Properties: Long feather for the
Germ, handkerchief for Father;
large red polka dot handkerchief for
Johnny; different colored handker-
chiefs for the children, and small
white one for the Principal.
Setting: Scene 1: Hall of Johnny's
home. Nothing is required; how-
ever, if desired, appropriate furni-
ture may be used. Scene 2: The
classroom. Three rows of four seats
each face the right. There is a table
at the left and a blackboard behind
it Scene 3: All that is required is
two chairs. A desk may be used.
Scene 4: Same as Scene 2.
TOMMY'S ADVENTURE
Characters: 6 male; 5 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Modern dress for Tommy
and Ellie. The Cat wears a gray
costume; the Dog, a brown costume.
The Red Hen wears a red costume.
The Butterfly wears a long, full
dress of soft yellow. Wings made
of cardboard and attached to her
arms are covered by the dress. The
Bee wears a bright yellow costume.
The Sunflower Twins are dressed
in short, straight green dresses with
yellow ruffs. The wind wears a
full, grey cloak and the Sun a bright
yellow one.
Properties: A spade.
Setting: No setting is required. If
desired, a backdrop of a farm house
may be used.
PRODUCTION NOTES
867
THE CLOCK'S SECRET
Characters: 2 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern dress.
Properties: Large egg; a large
amount of paper money; glass of
water.
Setting: Scene 1: A comfortable
living room in a country house. In
a prominent position is a large
grandfather's clock. (There must
be a place at bottom big enough to
conceal a child. The clock could be
made of heavy cardboard or built
over an exit) The room contains
comfortable furniture. Scene 2: The
living room of a home in the city.
Again the clock is in a prominent
position. The furniture ia this scene
is more formal Scene 3: Same as
Scene 2.
SHADY SHADOWS
Characters: 2 male; 3 female; male
voice.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: Nip and Tuck are simply
dressed, and their shadows must
wear clothes identical with theirs,
but of black material. The shadows
should have black arms, legs, faces.
Properties: Bottle of glue; brushes;
desk lamp; bedroom slippers.
Setting: The room is furnished with
small twin beds, two small desks, a
little table, radio, book shelf, and a
screen covered with plain light ma-
terial. The screen must be right in
front of the center entrance.
Lighting: No special effects, except
for lights going out and coming on
full again near end of play.
IF WISHES WERE HORSES
Characters: 5 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday country dress.
The men and boys wear overalls.
Emmie and the girls wear simple
cotton dresses. Hiram wears an old
hat
Properties: Rake, stick, small table,
blanket, rumpled dollar bill, scare-
crow dressed in an overcoat with
moth balls in the pockets, pencil,
paper, cotton waste, lantern, spade,
package filled with money, cap,
flashlight, a worn wallet
Setting: The yard of a farm house.
If desired, a backdrop may be used.
The yard is covered with leaves.
There is a large rock upstage left
Note: the rock may be made of
bunches of newspapers tied with
long strings and covered with dark
material In Scene 2 when the rock
falls down, someone under the table
can pull the strings of the news-
papers, collapsing the rock.
Lighting: In Scene 2 a spot of moon-
light on the characters and the rock
may be used.
Nor ON THE MENU
Characters: 3 male; 5 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The Anderson children
wear their regular school clothes,
but have chosen the gayest things
they have with the intention of ap-
pearing as gypsies by adding various
bright scarves, sashes and jewelry.
Tommy's friends are in everyday
clothes. Aunt Martha is well dressed
in dark clothes. Mrs. Anderson
wears an ordinary house dress.
Properties: Large sticks ; knives and
forks; pieces of white and brown
paper; jelly glasses; rubber bands;
burlap; kitchen stool; sofa pillow;
bracelets; necklaces; bright sashes;
handkerchiefs; earrings; two flash-
lights; kettle; broom stick; piece of
note paper.
Setting: The sun porch is furnished
with wicker pieces, its cushions cov-
ered in gay materials and there are
a few potted plants here and there.
The various accessories the children
use are piled on a chair.
CHILDREN OF THE SUN
Characters: 16 male; 6 female; 1
female extra.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern clothes
for the students. Lonely Star wears
a white suit with a red cape. The
planets are all dressed in bright
clothes and each carries a stick with
a red ribbon. The airplane pilot is
dressed in flying clothes.
868
PRODUCTION NOTES
Properties: Hand mirror and comb
for Venus, picture for Professor,
long scroll, small model airplane,
handkerchief.
Setting: A school room. Upstage
left is a large desk. The students sit
in a semi-circle downstage right
ALL IN FAVOR
Characters: 4 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Modern, everyday dress.
Properties: Handkerchief, several
slips of paper.
Setting: The front of a shack in a
backyard. There is a door leading
into the shack and a bench outside
the shack.
TWIN COUSINS
Characters: 3 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: The two girls wear color-
ful summer dresses. Eddie wears a
long-sleeved sweater of a light solid
color, and a bright green cap. He
also has a bright red cap for when
he plays the role of Freddie. The
other boys wear slacks and sweaters.
Properties: Suitcase, pin-button
badge, long rope.
Setting: There may be a backdrop
of houses to indicate a street scene,
or no furnishings at all. Entrances
are right and left
THE KING'S CREAMPUFFS
Characters: 5 male ; 4 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: All characters are in tra-
ditional costumes. The Baker wears
a white apron and a cook's hat
Properties: Tray of creampuffs;
large spectacles for Queen; book;
long spoon; handkerchief; boxing
gloves; bottle.
Lighting: No special effects for
Scenes 1 and 3, but the stage should
be very dim for Scene 2, with per-
haps a red or blue lantern near the
cauldron to give an eerie effect
THE DAY Is BRIGHT
Characters: 6 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: Murillo and the students
may wear solid color smocks. The
Duchess is an over-dressed person,
wearing highly styled clothes of the
period. Sebastion and Carlos may
wear brown or black trousers and
blouses.
Properties: Faint brushes, apple for
Sebastion, handkerchief, piece of
cloth to cover easel, orange, paints,
bag.
Setting: There are a number of
easels and canvases scattered about
the room. Sebastion's easel is at
right, and Murillo's at the left The
pupils' easels are distributed at ran-
dom between these two. The easels
of Ricardo, Carmen, and Francisco
should be grouped together, with
Ricardo's in the middle. Slightly to
the left of Murillo's easel is a raised
platform upon which is the subject's
chair. There is a chair in front of
each easel. There are two windows
at the rear, and a door at the left
A LETTER TO LINCOLN
Characters: Seven female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Cpstomers: Mrs. Baxter and the four
girls wear the quaint costumes of
Civil War time. In Scene 3, Medora
and Betty are in simple, modern
dresses.
Properties: Old-fashioned doll with
scraps of silk and sewing box for
Caroline. A copy of "Uncle Tom's
Cabin" for Medora, knitting for Mrs.
Baxter, letter on desk for Medora.
Scene 3: Knitting for Betty, letter
in drawer of desk for Medora.
Setting: Living room in Baxter
home. At back, right of center, is
a lovely old mahogany desk. At
left, a window with dotted Swiss
curtains. Mantel at back with fire-
place. Andirons on hearth and sim-
ulated fire in fireplace. Brass can-
dlesticks for mantel. Family portrait
above mantel. Large chair with has-
sock. Smaller chair down left Old-
fashioned settee down right. A door
at left and one at right. Scene 3:
The room is a bit modernized, with
bright drapes, rugs, etc.
THE LINCOLN COAT
Characters: 4 male; 4 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: Miss Roberts is dressed
in a modern dress. Mr. Abrams
PRODUCTION NOTES
869
wears dark pants and a shabby
jacket Mrs. Abrams wears a clean
white apron over a housedress. The
Abrams children are dressed in
dean but shabby clothes.
Properties: Erasers, blackboard, suit
box, long-tailed black coat, coat and
hat for Miss Roberts; cap and
mackinaw for Joey, books, paper
for Joey's note.
Setting: The first two scenes are in
the schoolroom. There may be as
much or as little as is feasible to in-
dicate the scene. A blackboard
stands upstage center, with a desk
facing the audience to one side of
it The third scene is a crowded
living room which also serves as a
dining room. There is a couch at
the left A table stands on the right
of the stage. A small mirror hangs
on a wall. There are some chairs
placed about the room.
THE QUEEN WITH THE BROKEN
HEART
Characters: 2 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The Queen wears a long
robe trimmed with red hearts. The
Kinpr is dressed similiarly. The Lady-
in- Waiting wears a long dress with
a tall pointed hat The Page is
dressed in Knave of Hearts costume.
The Fairy Godmother is dressed in
grey and wears a tall, peaked grey
hat Spring wears a long white
dress with flowers.
Properties: Knitting for Queen;
handkerchief for Queen; locket;
wand; large gayly decorated Valen-
tine box filled with Valentines.
Setting: All that is required is two
large chairs with a small table hold-
ing a plant beside one, and a pile of
large books on the floor beside the
other. A hassock stands in front
of the King's chair.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKES
Characters: 5 male; 3 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The animals may wear
hoods to represent what they are.
The other characters wear tradition-
al costumes.
Properties: Mixing bowl, spoon, cup,
flour, four eggs, heart-shaped cakes
or cookies, butter, cookie sheet, cup-
cake pans, small cakes
Setting: There is a large round
kitchen table in the center, on which
are the ingredients for the cakes, a
mixing bowl, spoon, and cup, and
pans for baking. At rear wall there
is a simulated oven. A cabinet or
an orange crate may be used for
this. There are one or two chairs
beside the table.
Note: The song, "Good Morning, It
Is St Valentine's Day," used near
end of play, is a traditional air.
A GUIDE FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON
Characters: 3 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: George Washington and
the Captain are both in worn Colon-
ial uniforms. In the first two scenes
they are wrapped in heavy, long,
dark cloaks. Winchester is in plain
uniform of the time. Elizabeth is in
plain dress of Colonial style while
Mrs. Winchester is in a formal gown
covered by a full-length cape. The
Maid is in uniform. When Elizabeth
appears as the Stranger in Scene 3
she has on high riding-boots, men's
pants and a jacket, a long cape, and
wears a cap pulled low over her
forehead. In Scene 4, Winchester
has a large white bandage around
his head, and his arm is in a sling.
Properties: An oil lantern, sound of
a pistol shot offstage.
Setting: Scenes 1 and 3 are played
either on a bare stage or before a
plain dark cyclorama. Scene 2 re-
quires an interior set with Colonial
furnishings: a secretary, a turn-top
table, several beautiful chairs, if
possible a canopied bed. There is a
door at back and one at right. Near
the door is a curtained window.
Scene 4 is a simple interior set,
plainly and sparsely furnished with
a table and a few chairs. At right
there is a door.
Lighting: Scenes 1 and 3 are played
on an almost dark stage. A single
blue overhead spot is the only light-
ing and it is concentrated on the
actors. In the first part of Scene 1
870
PRODUCTION NOTES
the stage is completely dark except
for a faint indication of light from
offstage. This should be just enough
to give the outlines of the charac-
ters. Later the oil lamp is uncovered,
and that is the only light other than
the baby spot Scenes 2 and 4 are
played with regular daylight over-
heads and footlights.
DAVID AND THE SECOND LAFAYETTE
Characters: 10 male; 3 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: The children are all
dressed in everyday modern clothes,
except Jean, who is dressed in a
French black school smock. Miss
Farnsbee wears everyday clothes.
Grandpapa Cohen wears a dark suit
and a scholar's cap. Lafayette is in
elaborate military costume, and car-
ries gloves.
Properties: Books, paper, etc., nor-
mally to be found in a schoolroom;
a ball; large books for Scene 2;
eye-glasses; papers.
Setting: Scenes 1 and 2 are in a typi-
cal American schoolroom. Maps,
globe, blackboard are in evidence.
There is a door at the left In front
of the room and near the teacher's
desk is a big costume box containing
a sword, a cocked hat, and various
other bits of costumes of the revo-
lutionary period, which are to be
used in the school play. Scene 2 is
a book-lined room, containing a table,
several chairs, lamps, etc
Lighting: No special effects re-
quired, except in Scene 2 where the
light becomes faint, and then comes
on bright again.
THE- MAGIC EGG
Characters: 8 male; 9 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The bunnies' costumes
can be made from different colored
snow suits with long, ears to match,
held up on wires. Mama Bunny
wears a large, bright-colored apron;
Polly wears a smaller bright-colored
apron, and the boy bunnies wear
bright-colored capes. Papa Bunny
wears spectacles on his nose. Mrs.
Feathers wears a feathery costume
with cardboard wings covered with
feathers attached to each arm. Mr.
Feathers wears a feathery costume
of bright colors with cardboard
wings over his arms. The children
wear everyday modern dress.
Properties: Easter bonnets, feath-
ers, flowers, several bowls, some col-
ored and some uncolored eggs,
dough, small oven, bouquet, Easter
lilies, baking tray, handkerchief for
Papa Bunny.
Setting: There are entrances left
and right between the trees. If de-
sired, a backdrop of a forest may be
used. Under a spreading tree up-
stage right is a small log and a big
toadstool that is used for a table.
Upstage center is a fallen tree which
is used for another table. A sawed-
off tree stump stands downstage left
Upstage left is a small bonfire over
which is a small oven.
A PRESENT FOR MOTHER
Characters: 2 male; 1 female; 4
male or female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Bill and Janie wear
everyday clothes. The animals are
dressed in costumes suggestive of
the type they represent
Properties: None required.
Setting: Scene 1: All that is re-
quired is a large log in the center
of the stage, with some bushes
around it Scene 2: A hollow tree
stands in center. Other trees and
bushes surround it
MOTHER'S GIFT
Characters: 3 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Dicky and his mother
wear everyday clothes. The other
characters should be suggested by
their costumes. Hoods or caps with
ears, wiskers, and bill for the bird
(made with construction paper or
buckram and colored with crayons)
may be used. Feelers for bees may
be made from pipe cleaners.
Properties: Long weeds for reeds;
nuts ; red ribbon with a little silver
bell ; artificial clover.
Setting: There may be potted trees
at back and right center. If possible
some patches of grass and moss
PRODUCTION NOTES
871
should be placed around the trees.
There is a small flowering bush (a
large plant in bloom may be used)
at the left
Lighting: Stage should be brightly
lighted to indicate bright sun.
A GOLDEN BELL FOR MOTHER
Characters: The. six mice may be
represented by girls, and the six
kittens by boys. Other than these
one male and one female are
required.
Playing Time: 12 minutes.
Costumes: The mice should be
dressed in gray and the kittens in
various shades of brown and tan.
The whiskers for both may be made
from pipe cleaners. Mother Mouse
is also dressed in gray, but a much
larger child should play this part.
The storeman wears a white apron
and a white jacket
Properties: String; piece of sewing;
piece of knitting; knitting needles;
needle and thread; a large round
piece of heavy gray cardboard may
be used for the coin; if possible,
this may be covered with silver-
colored paper; a golden bell. (A
large cow bell may be used for this.)
Setting: There is nothing required
for Scenes 1 and 4 except a large
sign on the wall reading, "Mice
Working." The mice sit on the
floor. In Scene 2 a large box at the
right may be used as a counter to
suggest a store. There is a door
left with a bell hanging on it, which
rings as door is opened. For the
third scene there may be a table in
the center. There is a door left, and
the entrance to the mouse hole at the
Vote: The old song, "The Frog in
the Well," or any other version of
this song may be substituted for "A
Frog He Would A-Wcoing Go." All
these songs have familiar tunes.
SEE TEE PARADE
Characters: 5 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Mother is dressed in
modern street dress. Johnnie wears
a Boy Scout uniform. Father wears
the uniform of World War I,
Grandpa, the uniform of the Spanish
American War, Charlie, the uniform
of World War II. Boris wears a
white satin costume with a short
ballet skirt, shiny boots and a high
visored hat with a plume. Ralph
wears a modern suit
Properties: Small clothes brush,
baton, cane for Charlie.
Setting: An American living room.
There are entrances at rijght and
left, the one at right leading onto
the front porch, and the one at left
to other parts of the house. There
is a window in the rijjht wall up-
stage from the door which looks out
onto the yard and the street ^ The
room is comfortably furnished.
There is a sofa upstage center. There
are a couple of easy chairs, some
straight-backed ones, small tables
with lamps and perhaps a bookcase
or two.
THE PINK PARASOL
Characters: 3 male; 6 female.
Playing Time: 40 minutes.
Costumes: Mrs. Marshall and Sally
Marshall are in modern dress; the
rest of the characters are in cos-
tumes of the Civil War period.
Clayton is dressed in a shabby gray
Confederate tmiform; the Yankee
soldier is dressed in the blue uni-
form of the North.
Properties: Lots of artificial flowers
or baskets of flowers; a pink para-
sol, first wrapped in brown paper;
a long skirt with ruffles ; thread and
needle; plate of sandwiches; a cake;
plates; knife; forks; shawl ; napkins.
Setting: The first and last scenes
require no setting except a bench in
front of the curtain. For Scene 2
there is a garden table and some
garden chairs.
COLUMBUS SAILS THE SEA
Characters: 4 male; 1 female; sail-
ors and Indians.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Setting: One setting with several
changes of stage properties. First
scene requires no stage properties,
but only a soft background. For
Scene 2 there should be a throne-
872
PRODUCTION NOTES
chair on an elevated platform which
can be made from a large box. A
rail and some rope and rigging can
be used to suggest the third scene.
Palms and trees against the back-
drop should be used for Scene 4.
Costumes: Rough dark suits for
Columbus and the sailors. Elaborate
court robes and jewels for Isabella.
Conventional court costumes for
courtiers. The Indians may be
clothed in shorts and feathered
headdress.
Properties: Map; branch with ber-
ries; standard with flag of Spam.
THE MAGIC SPELL
Characters: I male; 5 female.
Playing Time; 15 minutes.
Costumes: Teena and her mother
are dressed as witcte in long black
cloaks and tall black pointed hats.
Jimmy is dressed as a clown, and
Betty as a gypsy. Mrs. Lane wears
a simple street dress. Jenny wears
a maid's uniform.
Properties: A pumpkin jack-o'-lan-
tern, a tea tray with a cup and
saucer, napkin, sugar bowl, and tea-
spoon, books, toys.
Setting: The room is simply furn-
ished. In the center is an armchair
with a table at the right of it There
is a chair on either side of the stage.
The doorway on the left leads out-
side; the one on the right leads to
the other rooms. A few toys and
books are on the table.
THE WITCH'S PUMPKIN
Characters: 3 female
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Betty wears a regular
school dress. Anne is dressed in
some appropriate Hallowe'en cos-
tume. Cindy wears a long, black
cloak, mask and pointed hat
Properties: Small pumpkin, pencils,
paper, scissors, broom, package con-
taining a Hallowe'en costume.
Setting: A plainly furnished room.
There are two doors, one opening
on the porch, the other leading to a
hall. In the center of the room is a
table with a chair behind it, and one
near either side. Other furnishings
may be added.
GOBLIN PARADE
Characters: 6 male; 2 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The Janitor, the Boy,
Harry and Jack are in everyday
clothes. The Scarecrow is dressed
in shabby, patched overalls and tat-
tered straw hat The Witch wears a
long, black dress and peaked hat
The Goblins are in dark, tightly fit-
ting suits. Animal heads may be
procured for the others or they may
be dressed to resemble as much as
possible the animals they represent.
Properties: Broom, step-ladder, large
orange sun, two corn-shocks, jack-
o'-lantern, knife, huge yellow moon.
Setting: This play can be produced
in the schoolroom itself or on a bare
stage with entrances at right and left
The only furnishing is a teacher's
chair, preferably a wooden armchair.
Lighting: Bright overheads and
footlights can be used at the begin-
ning of the play and dimmed when
the Goblins enter. They can then be
brought on full again when the Gob-
lins have left the stage.
THE MAGIC JACK-O-LANTERN
Characters: Six male or female; ex-
tras, if desired.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The elves are dressed in
colored shorts with matching jerkins
and pointed hats. They wear long
colored hose, the toes of which are
stuffed and made to curl up beyond
the end of the foot The goblins are
dressed in shorts with matching
jerkins, colored differently from the
elves' costumes. Trappy wears a
large, red leaf on his hat Micky
wears a large red feather in his cap.
Flappy should have large cardboard
ears placed over his own ears. These
may be attached with adhesive tape.
Properties: Jack-o-lantern, broom-
stick, scarlet leaf, large red feather.
Setting: This may be a bare stage
with no furnishings, or a wooded
scene may be suggested by the back-
drop.
THE MAGIC PUMPKIN
Characters: 10 male; 6 female.
Playing Tnnc: 10 minutes.
PRODUCTION NOTES
873
Costumes: Minstrel wears tight-fit-
ting jersey costume and stocking cap.
Little bells are attached to cap and
to jacket The King^s guards are
dressed in royal soldiers' costumes
and the King himself may wear a
long, full gown and a crown on his
head. The Mother and children may
wear simple everyday clothes.
Properties: Large white handker-
chief, a number of brown stones, a
large pumpkin, whistle^ hunting
knife.
Setting: A bench.
WONDERS OF STORYBOOK LAND
Characters: 11 male; 8 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: Billy and Betty in clothes
of modern boy and girl. Little Red
Riding Hood, red hooded cape.
White Rabbit, white rabbit suit
with black waistcoat Captain Hook,
blue cape, black pirate 'hat, black
patch over eye and hook for claw.
Alice-in- Wonderland, starched, full-
length, white apron over dress, nar-
row black ribbon with tiny bow on
hair. Smee, pirate costume, Snow
White, blue skirt, white blouse,
black laced bodice and pretty white
bow in hair. Peter Pan, brown cap
with feather, brown belted blouse,
short brown pants and three-quarter
stockings. Tiger Lily, beautiful
white beaded Indian Princess cos-
tume. Lost Boy, boy's outfit Rag-
gedy Ann, wig of yarn, rag doll's
dress. Raggedy Andy, wig of yarn,
rag doll's costume and cap. Sleepy
and Happy, dwarf costume. Blue
Fairy, pale blue gown, golden star
in hair. Pinocchio, conical hat, yel-
low blouse, red pants, large, blue bow
tie. Cinderella, ragged costume and
small broom. Little Lame Prince,
full-sleeved blouse and skull cap.
Properties: Living-room table,
chairs, pictures, books, sewing bas-
ket. Front of white cottage, picket
fence, paper flowers, tree, package.
Setting: Scene 1 is living room of
Robertson home. Necessary prop-
erties are living-room table and
chairs, but pictures, flowers, lamps,
etc., may be used as desired to give
room attractive appearance. Scene 2
is Storybook Land and should be as
colorful as possible. White, green
trimmed cottage with picket fence,
a garden and large tree will be re-
quired. Bird houses, benches or
other properties may be used.
Lighting: No special effects for
Scene 1, but soft colored lights for
Scene 2.
OFF THE SHELF
Characters: 5 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: These may be simple or
elaborate for the book characters.
A simple placard on the front of
each character may indicate the
name of the book. Or there may be
back and sides of cardboard with
holes for the head, arms, and legs.
Properties: Ruler, eight white post-
ers of stiff cardboard.
Setting: The upstage wall is com-
pletely covered with books on
shelves. These can be painted on
the backdrop. On the side walls
the ends of the book shelves are seen
with rows of books running off left
and right There are openings be-
tween these stacks which serve as
entrances. At center is a long table
of the sort used in libraries, with
chairs set at the ends and sides.
There are green reading lamps on
the table. Upstage center against the
back wall is the librarian's desk.
Lighting: The lights are low but
grow gradually brighter as the ac-
tion of the play progresses.
MR. LONGFELLOW OBSERVES BOOK
WEEK
Characters: 6 male; 5 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Longfellow and his
daughters wear clothes of the times.
Joseph is in Polish dress and wears
a medal around his neck. Two chil-
dren inside a horse costume may play
Smoky, or one child may play this
character wearing just an animal
head and tail. Smoky also has a
medal around his neck. Dr. Doolittle
is dressed in a tall hat and long-
tailed coat Younger Brother wears
an Indian costume, and Young Fu
Chinese dress of blue coat and trous-
ers. Hitty id dressed in the style of
874
PRODUCTION NOTES
a century ago, and Luanda in the
clothes of her time. The books in
which characters appear may be con-
sulted for costuming if desired.
Properties: Horn, roller skatej.
Setting: Longfellow's desk is at
left, a comfortable armchair in front
of it There is a grandfather clock
in the background. A round table
nearby is covered with books and
bookshelves line the walls.
HUBBUB ox THE BOOKSHELF
Characters: 7 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: The eight young Book-
worms are clothed in sheaths of
white or pale gray, and from their
tightly-fitting hoods spring antennae
or feelers. They speak in unison
much of the time, act as a group in-
stead of as individuals, and have no
distinguishing marks at all The old
Bookworm is dressed like the others,
with the addition of a long white
beard. Costumes for the Bookworms
when they emerge from the volumes
during the play are described in
the text
Properties: Scrap of paper; lorgn-
ette; basket rilled with groceries and
containing a napkin; spectacles for
Mr. Wise; hatchet; sword; suitcase;
spray-gun, handkerchief for Gang-
ster.
Setting: Eight large books provide
the background. Reading from left
to right they are Encyclopedia, Fairy
Tales, American History, Etiquette,
King Arthur and His Knights, My
Book of Poems, Travel Stories and
Arithmetic.
BOB'S ARMISTICE PARADE
Characters: 7 male; 5 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern clothes.
The Soldier is in uniform. Muni-
tions wears a black suit of shiny ma-
terial Love is dressed in a white
flowing robe. The Four Freedoms
wear long, full gowns of pastel
colors.
Properties: Ball, heavy cardboard
for sign, money, rope.
Setting: All that is required is a
park bench. A backdrop suggesting
a playground may be used.
I'LL SHARE MY FARE
Characters: 4 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The Farmer wears over-
alls and straw hat; the Butcher
wears a long, white apron. The
Baker wears a white coat and high
baker's hat The Storekeeper wears
a short apron over his trousers. The
Basketweaver wears a shawl over
her long dress.
Properties: Wares for the booths
(may be made of cardboard) ; hobby
horse for Farmer; large basket
Setting: Three small booths decor-
ated with wares.
THANKS TO SAMMY SCARECROW
Characters: 3 male; 1 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Sammy is dressed as the
usual scarecrow — a shabby black
coat and pants, a bunch of straw
showing out from under a black high
hat Long sticks may be pushed
into his sleeves to give him the stiff,
scarecrow look. Sandy is dressed in
a gray flannel costume and hood
Pipe cleaners may be used for his
whiskers, and a large bushy or furry
tail should be attached to his back.
The children wear everyday play
clothes.
Properties: Nuts; basket, gaily dec-
orated; corn stalks.
Setting: The stage is bare except
for the scarecrow in the center, lean-
ing haphazardly on crossed sticks.
At right center there are some corn
shocks to indicate the field.
MR. THANKS HAS His DAY
Characters: 7 male ; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Mr. Thanks is shabbily
dressed and wears an old slouch hat
The policemen are in uniform. The
boys and girls and man and woman
wear everyday clothes. Granny
wears a housedress and apron. The
Mayor wears a dark suit and derby.
Properties: A large sack containing
a wool scarf, shoes, bag of flour,
hair-ribbon, and other sundries;
sticks for policemen; pair of shoes
in child's size; notebook and pencil.
Setting: A backdrop of painted trees
may be used to indicate park. At
PRODUCTION NOTES
875
left center is a park bench. Right
wall should represent a street facing
the park, which may be indicated
through one or two outside door-
ways. The same setting may be used
throughout.
JONATHAN'S THANKSGIVING
Characters: 6 female; 5 male.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Opatuck and Punkapoag
in full Indian attire; chief with
feathered headgear. All others in
Pilgrim^ costumes.
Properties: Rough furniture of time:
benches, stools, crib, table, spinning
wheel, hornbook, bible, sewing pieces,
bow and arrows, sickle, ears of corn,
spider, crier's bell, scroll of paper,
musket, pumpkin, stick, bread, knife,
jug, mug, baskets, jars, hour glass,
hamper, kettle, turkey, tomahawk,
doll, grapes and cranberries, red
leaves, roots, knives.
Setting: Kitchen of Pilgrim log cab-
in. Door to outside right back, fire-
place left back. Window right
Inner door left. Furniture of the
period
Lighting: Daylight foot and over-
head.
THE HOU.Y HANGS HIGH
Characters: 3 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Modern everyday clothes.
Rose wears a heavy coat, tall boots
and a beret Tom wears a dark suit
and a leather jacket The Ranger is
dressed in mountain clothes with
boots. Hannah wears a plain print
dress with a white apron over it
Properties: Large tray, chocolate
pot, two cups and saucers, presents
to be placed under Christmas tree.
Setting: Main room of a mountain
cabin. At the back is a fireplace in
which there is a simulated fire. A
box filled with fire wood is at the
right along side of a fireside bench.
At the left of the fireplace is a tall
screen hiding the Christmas tree
which is decorated with lights. To
the right is a low table and a com-
fortable chair. A bunch of holly
hangs over the mantle. At lower
right is a desk with desk chair and
telephone. At the right is a door
leading to other parts of the house.
The door leading outside at left*
MESHY, MERRY, MERRY
Characters: 13 male; 11 female.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: All adults and the chil-
dren wear straight costumes from
everyday life. The Fairy is dressed
in white, with a silver cap. Her
dress is trimmed in red, and she
carries a wand with a sparkling star
at the end of it The elves are all
in green and gold. Saury is a little
man in a red suit, but without a
beard. Santa Claus is in traditional
costume with long white, beard.
Properties: Sofa, easy chairs, table,
end tables, lamps for tables and also
floor, rugs, pictures on th$ wall, ra-
dio, telephone, and other livingrootn
furniture depending on the elabor-
ateness of the set; a Christmas tree
completely decorated, stockings for
the fireplace, white shawl, newspaper,
basket, gaily-wrapped boxes of
presents in various shapes and sizes,
Jew's harp or harmonica, clock, pipe,
a wand, tremendous bag for Samy,
fruit and knives and dolls for the
stockings, three cowboy outfits.
Setting: Simple interior living-room
set This may be furnished like a
living room in any home of an
American family of moderate in-
come. There is a festive air about
it, particularly evidenced by the
Christmas tree, and if possible holly
wreaths and electric candles in the
windows rear. A fireplace in the
rear wall between the two windows
is also essential. Other than that,
the set may be left entirely to the
discretion of the Director.
Lighting: Dim evening light, foot-
lights and overhead. All lamps on
in the room, tree lighted, and can-
dles in window. Spotlight follows
Fairy. Lights all up bright at end
of play particularly on entrance of
Santa Claus.
Note: The school glee dub, or a se-
lected chorus, may do the singing of
the carols offstage. The volume
must be carefully controlled to give
effect of receding and approaching
carollers.
876
PRODUCTION NOTES
TEE FIRST NEW ENGLAND
CHRISTMAS TREE
Characters: 6 male; 2 female; male
extras.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: Clothes of the Colonial
period. Cynthia, George and Wil-
liam wear outdoor clothes at their
entrance. Captain Harcus wears a
sea captain's outfit.
Properties: Sack; a small doll; sev-
eral silver paper stars, six wishing
nuts each marked plainly with a
white name tag and each containing
a slip of paper; candles.
Setting: The entire play takes place
in a simply furnished room of the
Harcus cottage. Colonial furniture,
including a table and a rocker, is
placed about the room. There are
two doors and a window in the
room. Scene 3: A blanket is fast-
ened across the window. A small,
partly decorated spruce stands in
one corner of the room.
THE LITTLE CAKE
Characters: 2 male; 6 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 40 minutes.
Costumes: The Old Man wears an
old hooded cloak over royal purple
robes. The Captain is dressed in
scarlet and gold court costume.
Marie wears ragged dress. Other
girls are richly dressed in clothes of
the period.
Properties: Dish containing pud-
ding; sausages, basket, little cake, a
package representing Sonia's gift
Setting: Up center are deep case-
ment windows through which can be
seen castle towers silhouetted
against the night sky. There is snow
on the branches outside and in the
corners of the frosted window panes.
There is a fireplace at left. Up right
is a doorway leading to a hallway
which is the way to the rest of the
house, and also to the outside. The
room is furnished with the usual
benches and rough table, which are
adorned with colorful and rich-
looking draperies and hangings.
Lighting: There is a red light in the
fireplace to represent a fire. The
room is in shadow except for the
Mow of a candle on the table and
the red light from the fireplace.
CHRISTMAS COMES TO HAMELIN
Characters: 13 male; 13 female;
male and female extras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Suggestion of medieval
clothes. The men wear knickers,
soft hats with plumes, and swords.
The Mayor wears an elaborate cape.
The Stranger is dressed simply and
carries a staff. The Toyman wears
a long apron. The women wear
long, bright full dresses with shawls
or capes. Some wear caps and
aprons. The children are dressed
very plainly; the boys in knickers;
girls in long dresses, or rain capes.
Properties: A large book, a ruler or
pointer, an oilcan.
Setting: All that is required for the
first scene is a table, a sofa, a few
easy chairs, and a fireplace. The
scenes in the orphanage only require
a few chairs or stools, perhaps some
old toys, a blackboard or a globe. A
large framed sampler, reading "God
Bless Our Home," hangs on a wall.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
Characters: 3 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Dr. Moore wears a long
black coat of clerical ait, and spec-
tacles on his nose. At first he wears
slippers, but changes to shoes when
he goes out He also then puts on
an overcoat, a black stove-pipe hat,
and a black woolen muffler. He
wears gloves. Mrs. Moore wears a
white apron over her dark house-
dress. She wears a neat white cap
on her head. The boys are dressed
in warm winter clothes, as is the
girl. Emily is smartly dressed ac-
cording to the fashion of the Dearly
Nineteenth century. At end children
wear white flannel nightgowns.
Properties: Books, quill pen, paper,
tall red candle, covered basket, pack-
ages with Christmas wrappings, sim-
ulated turkey, black toy kitten, news-
paper, bowl and spoon.
Setting: There is an old-fashioned
desk upstage right Left upstage is
a fireplace where light may be hid-
den to represent a fire. Over the
fireplace is a mantel. The room is
cheerful. There are several com-
fortable chairs scattered about the
PRODUCTION NOTES
877
room, and a table in the center.
There is a pile of books on the desk.
There is an armchair near the fire-
place with a footstool in front of it
There is a window and door in the
rear wall, and a door in the left wall
beyond the fireplace.
Lighting: Lighting is furnished by
candles which are on the fireplace
mantel. At the end of each scene,
just before the reading of the poems,
the light may be dimmed.
No ROOM AT THE INN
Characters: 15 male; 1 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The players wear the tra-
ditional flowing garments of the
Orient, not necessarily white. The
Boy is dressed in a short tunic.
Sandals are worn by all.
Properties: Pitchers, staffs for the
Shepherds, three coffers.
Setting: On two sides of the stage,
rear and left, runs the wall of the
courtyard. This is about six feet
high and is broken by two arched
gateways. One arch is at the center
of the rear wall and leads to the
stables. It has a wooden gate. The
other arch is at the center of the
left wall and is the entrance to the
inn yard from the highway. It has
no gate. On the right of the stage
is the wall of the inn. There is a
door in the center of the wall; to
the right of the door, a bench; to
the left, a small window. The stage
is bare save for the bench and at the
rear left a circular well-curb of
stone wide enough to use as a seat.
Above the wall sky is seen.
Lighting: Red overheads and foot-
lights are used in Scene 1, with most
of the light from the overheads con-
centrated at left or perhaps addi-
tional red spots shining from the
left wings. For. Scene 2 dark blue
overheads and footlights are desir-
able. A white spot from offstage
can be placed to shine directly over
the stable to represent the star; or
the desired effect can also be at-
tained by hanging a silver star above
the stable and using a white spot
on it. .
Note: This play can be combined
effectively with a musical program
by preceding and following it with
the singing of carols. One verse of
a carol could be sung also while the
curtain is lowered to denote passage
of time. Nothing longer should be
introduced here as it would break
the continuity of the play.
Appropriate carols are "O Little
Town of Bethlehem," "While Shep-
herds Watched Their Flocks,"
"Away in a Manger," "We Three
Kings," "Silent Night," "All my
Heart this Night Rejoices," "It
Came Upon a Mjidnight Clear/1
"First Noel," "In Bethlehem 'neath
Starlit Skies," "Adeste Fidelis."
CHRISTMAS HOUSE
Characters: 4 male; 6 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: Everyday modern dress.
Properties: A magazine for Marg-
ery, Christmas decorations for the
tree, including lights, logs for fire-
place, paper for Margery's sketch.
Setting: A fireplace, flanked by two
easy chairs stands upstage center.
Against one wall is a couch. Occa-
sional chairs and tables with lamps
are placed here and there. The
Christmas tree stands near fireplace.
THE CRYSTAL FLASK
Characters: 2 male; 6 female.
Playing Time: 18 minutes.
Costumes: The Princess wears an
elaborate satin robe with a crown
on her head in Scenes 2 and 3. The
King and Queen wear long robes
and crowns. The Godmothers are
dressed in long, bright-colored
gowns. One .carries a silver flask
and the other, a crystal flask. The
Prince wears bright satin trousers,
long white stockings, a blue velvet
cape and matching hat The Nurse
is dressed in a long gray dress, -white
apron and cap.
Properties: A large baby doll that
can be used for the Princess in Scene
1; silver flask, crystal flask, hand-
kerchief.
Setting: The stage should represent
a room in the palace. This may be
as elaborate as desired. Two large
chairs should be in the center of the
stage for the thrones.
878
PRODUCTION NOTES
LITTLE HERO or HOLLAND
Characters: 7 male; 14 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The girls wear very full
skirts, starched white aprons and
caps, white stockings and, if possi-
ble, wooden shoes, which may be
made out of white cardboard glued
to old shoes. The boys wear long
wide breeches (ski-pant style) and
dose-fitting jackets of some dark
material. They wear little round
dark caps. The flower fairies' cos-
tumes may be made of crepe paper,
or they may wear short white dresses
trimmed with gummed tulip and
hyacinth cut-outs. Flowers bind
their hair and trim their slippers.
Tipsey and Topsey are dressed in
bright green, close-fitting costumes
with bright spangle trimmings,
peaked caps with tassels, and sneak-
ers, painted green.
Properties: Pails and scrub brushes ;
basket covered with a white napkin;
artificial tulips, toy windmill, lan-
terns, a few wads of paper or corks
for plugs.
Setting: The Dutch background may
be painted on large sheets of heavy
paper tacked to beams. Or pictures
of windmills, green fields dotted
with tulips and other flowers and
quaint flowers may be pasted on this
paper. The hole in the dike is at
the right Artificial flowers may be
used for stage decorations. At right
there is a large oblong box covered
with green paper, representing a
boulder.
RUMFLESTILTSKEN
Characters: 7 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costume: The King wears a long
purple robe and a crown. The
huntsmen are dressed in breeches
and hunting caps. The Miller wears
dark trousers and shirt Marilyn
wears a simple, plain long dress in
the first two scenes; in the last two
scenes she wears a long robe and a
crown. The servant is dressed in a
long, dark dress with a white apron
and cap. The Dwarf is dressed in
brown, long, tight-fitting pants
which fit over his feet and curl up
at the toes. Little bells are attached
to the feet A pointed matching cap
completes his outfit
Properties: Scroll, gold colored bits
of paper, tube, necklace.
Setting: Scene 1: All that is re-
quired is a large chair on a plat-
form for the throne. Scene 2: The
room can be bare except for a spin-
ning wheel and piles of straw. Last
two Scenes: Large chair for the
Queen; other furniture, if desired.
SLEEPING BEAUTY
Characters: 6 male, 11 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: King and Queen in royal
attire with long robes and crowns;
Fairies in long, flowing dresses;
Wicked Fairy dressed to resemble a
witch; Princess in long party-type
dress; Spinning Woman in ordinary
clothes of older working woman;
Guard could wear a red vest to de-
note a costume; Prince, ordinary-
clothes; Hunters, ordinary clothes.
Properties: Thrones for King and
Queen to sit in; 8 magic wands;
perambulator trimmed with ribbons
and bows ; Spinning wheel and spin-
dle; Guard carries spear; Hunters •
carry bows and arrows.; glass of
water for Spinner.
Settings: Room in King's palace,
may be ordinary room with two
thrones. Spinner s room may have
two or three stools and spinning
wheel and spindle. In the forest,
may be woods scenery, or plain
stage as dialogue sets the stage, for
audience.
THE LION AND THE MOUSE
Characters: 1 male; 1 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The Lion may be dressed
ID long yellow or tan pants with
matching jerkin with long sleeves.
A lion's face may be made of card-
board and attached to the player's
head. The Mouse is dressed in grey
shorts and matching jerkin.
Properties: None required.
Setting: All that is necessary is some
bushes in the background with a net
caught in them. A tennis net could
be used. If desired, a backdrop of
a woody scene may be used.
PRODUCTION NOTES
879
THE THREE WISHES
Characters: 5 male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: All characters are in
modern dress. Mrs. Kehoe wears a
print dress trimmed with lace, and
earrings. Patrick may wear a cap
with a visor and working clothes.
Col. Moore is elegantly dressed.
Properties: Cake with white icing
and ten birthday candles; basket
with pieces of lace; salt-cellar; salt
box; bottle of milk; bowls; pot
porridge; violets and leaves; towels;
glasses; spoons; string of coral-col-
ored beads; bowl of goldfish; lace
collar; green tickets; hat; cape;
flags; noise-makers.
Setting: The room for Scene 1 is
furnished as a combination dining-
room, kitchen, and living-room. A
cot covered with a homespun "bed-
spread is seen at one end. A large
crayon picture of a^ man about thir-
ty-five, with a Union Jack and an
American flag crossed above it,
stands on a homemade easel Scene
2 consists merely of a few tables
covered around three sides with
cloth to make booths. There is one
with odd pieces of costume jewelry
on it, and another with only one
lace collar pinned ta the cord
stretched across the booth. This
booth has a sign on it, "The Moun-
tain Home Industries' Booth". There
are several stools around and one
behind the booth.
THE SALT IN THE SEA
Characters: 15 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: All characters are dressed
in clothes of the times, each accord-
ing to rank
Properties: Quill pen, cap with long
feather for Giles, sack of meal, ham,
bag of gold, mill, jug of milk, cake,
cheese, little cakes, pack for Miller,
silver basket, new mill, faggots, jug
of ale, two mugs.
Setting: Scene 1 is very bare with
stacks of casks and sacks of food
piled high around the walls. The
Dwarfs' workshop in Scene 2 needs
only a rough table and a few chairs.
In Scene 3 there is a door, left
front; another, right back; and an
empty fireplace, center back. An
open Welsh cupboard is at right of
left door with four mugs on the
shelves. Scene 4 is the same as
Scene 1 except that the walls are
now hung with tapestries, cloth
covers the table. For Scene 5 two
sea chests are placed at right and
left back. Ropes and ship para-
phernalia are scattered about. This
scene can also be produced before a
plain cyclorama if desired.
CINDERELLA
Characters: 17 male; 9 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: First sister wears old-
fashioned pink satin and lace, and
the Second Sister, old-fashioned blue
satin and lace. Cinderella, in fire-
side scenes, wears ragged, patched
dress; in ballroom scene and finale,
silver and white gown and silver
Juliet head piece. Godmother wears
dark cloak and conical hat, gray
wig. Prince is in white and gold full
sleeved jacket, white knee breeches
and stockings, Romeo cap with
jaunty gold feather. Trumpeters
are in green and gold. Attendants
to Prince wear various colored cos-
tumes similar to that of Prince, but
less elaborate. Guests at ball are
dressed in old-fashioned costumes.
Properties: Table, chairs, box, fire-
place, broom, pumpkin, toy mice,
throne.
Setting: Scene 1 is by the fireplace
in Cinderella's home. Two chairs,
a table, a box and a fireplace will
suffice to set this scene. Scene 2 is
the scene of the ball and the throne
should occupy the center of atten-
tion as all available space should be
left for dancing. Scene 3, same as
Scene 1.
Lighting: Scenes 1 and 3 require an
artificial fire in fireplace. Scene 2
colored lights.
Music: Selections for dancing and
entrances are optional. Music to
which rights have expired may be
used. If amateur orchestra is avail-
able effect would add color to pro-
duction. If not, records offstage
may be used.
THE FLOATING STONE
Characters: 6 male; 4 female.
880
PRODUCTION NOTES
Playing Time: 10 or 12 minutes.
Costumes: These may be copied
from any book of fairy tales. The
King and Princess have gilt crowns,
his rather more elaborate. The ladies
should have Juliet caps or simple
silver bands about their hair. The
Shepherd wears a brown tunic and
carries a crook made from card-
board. The Herald wears a tabard
to which heraldic animals or fleur-
de-lis cut from gay paper have been
pinned. He should hold a trumpet;
if there are none in the school band,
one may be cut from cardboard and
gilded. The Princes wear crowns
and gay colors ; if possible they have
capes clasped with jewels from the
useful Woolworth. The Wizard has
flowing robes to which are pasted
stars, moons, etc.
Properties: A bag for the Princess,
preferably a chatelaine, containing a
folded piece of paper for the King's
message and a tiny mirror. A table,
cloth, and pebble for the Herald to
bring^in. A bundle for the Shepherd
containing a mortar and pestle ; there
must be ground-up chalk or flour
darkened with a little soot in the
mortar, as the grinding of the stone
has to be tricked a little. A hand-
kerchief for the Prince of Tripota,
made of bright-colored cloth. Two
thrones, which may be draped chairs.
Setting: This may be played before
a plain cyclorama.
JACK AND JILL
Characters: 4 male ; 3 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Jack wears a play suit
with a large tie. Jill is dressed in a
print dress and larj?e white apron
which she takes off when she is
playing. Mother wears a long full
skirt and apron. She may also wear
a grey wig or a dust cap. The Fairy
wears a long pastel gown with wings.
Properties: Toy pails and shovels,
wand.
Setting: A plain brown cottage
should be indicated on the backdrop
with a door and window opening off
the stage. Flowers made of crepe
paper or real potted plants are set
in beds along the house. A waljc of
flat stones leads from door to right
of stage and off stage. A carpet of
green paper matting may be used to
give the effect of grass.
BROOM MARKET DAY
Characters: S male; 4 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Costumes may be sugges-
tive of early colonial days in New
England. For the women, a long,
plain-colored frock with white cap,
apron and neckerchief. Dame Dick-
ens, however, wears a high-crowned
hat with a brown dress and an apron
of giddy calico patchwork. The
men may have knee trousers, plain
coats, and broad-brimmed hats. A
frock coat is worn by the Parson.
Properties: Coat for Granther — al-
so hat and white parcel, dustcloth,
penny, coins, scarecrow broom with
carrot nose, corn silk hair and a
shawl Note: Prop brooms may be
fashioned from heavy wrapping
paper, fringed and fastened to stock
handles. Small, straight tree branches
may be used for the scare-crow and
hobby-horse brushes. Be sure that
there is a distinct difference in the
size of the brooms of various sorts.
Setting: The broom maker's cottage.
Center back is a large fireplace with
a kettle on the hob. Pewter candle-
sticks, mugs and plates are on the
high mantel. There is an open door
at the right. Small alcove is at left
back. Several three-legged stools are
placed about the room with a stool
by the fireplace. There are many
brooms about
JBNNY-BY-THE-DAY
Characters: 4 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Margery Daw wears a
dark, bodiced gown with a long, full
skirt and a white apron and cap.
Dally wears doublet and hose. Dilly
wears a long, full dress. The twins
wear dust-mop wigs and their
clothes are generally disheveled.
Jenny wears a long, bodiced dress
with a tiny white apron and cap.
The Trumpeter and Herald are
dressed in doublet and hose. The
King wears dark hose and a plain
maroon doublet and plumed hat.
Properties: Trumpet, paper roll for
proclamation, faggots, apple blos-
soms, huge crock.
PRODUCTION NOTES
881
Setting: The inn. There is a case-
ment window at left. The door at
left rear opens into the courtyard.
There is a huge fireplace center rear,
with a large pot over simulatd fire.
Another kettle sits on the ashes.
Cooking pans, skillets, ladles, spoons,
long-handled fork and a broom hang
on the sides of the fireplace. There
is a small pile of faggots to right of
fireplace. Bowls, mugs and plates
are on the ledge above the fireplace.
There is a large chest at right In
the chest are pudding bag and string,
polishing cloths and scrub brush.
Down center are a trestle table and
two backless benches. In the upper
corner of the door is a spider in a
web. (Dyed pipe cleaner may be
used to make the spider which
should be suspended from the door
frame with a light thread. Dark net-
ting may be fashioned into a web.)
THE WISE MAN OF GOTHAM
Characters: 8 male; many extras,
both male and female.
Playing Time: 20-25 minutes.
Costumes: The costumes are of the
period of Robin Hood, all brightly
colored.
Properties: Baskets, sacks, eggs,
apples, bowl of water, horn, heavy
rocks, branches of trees, a door
either of wood or made from law
strips of cardboard nailed to a light
frame, and painted to look very real.
Setting : Scenes 1, 2, and 3 take place
in the market place of Gotham. This
entire play may be staged with a
plain cyclorama. Otherwise, these
scenes are played with a countryside
picture of trees and hills painted on
the backdrop. Scene 4 is set in a
field near .Gotham and also may be
played on a bare stage. It is neces-
sary, however, to have a thicket or
bushes of some kind in upper right
corner of stage, so that references
may be made to the cuckoo which is
just offstage. Then when the vil-
lagers mention that the bird has
flown away, the audience merely
takes their word for it. Visible from
the audience, therefore, is only one
side of the fence the villagers are
building from tree branches.
Lighting: Scene 1 is daylight, with
amber overhead, and white foot-
| lights. Scene 2 is night; use blue
I overheads and dim or no footlights.
! Scene 3 at dawn, slight tinge of pink
1 hi lights overhead. Footlights dim.
It is not yet full daylight lighting.
Scene 4 is same as Scene 1.
THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN
Characters: 5 male; 1 female lead.
Many female extras to make up The
Crowd. At least a dozen children.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: The Piper wears the tra-
ditional costume: with one leg yel-
low, the other blue, one sleeve scar-
let, the other dune, the back purple,
and the front green. During the
opening part of the play he also
wears a peaked hat and a dusty
black cloak concealing his multi-
colored costume. Obie is dressed in
very ragged boy's pants and sweater.
Stempernickel wears a lovely red
cloak; Bumperkopf a beautiful green
cloak; and The Mayor a gorgeous
one of royal purple. Katrinka is
dressed as a simple housewife with
apron, and kerchief over her hair.
Properties: A wooden cat, a knife,
crutches, a bun, brooms and^ mops
for The Crowd, cardboard signs, a
pipe for the Piper, gold coins, an
enormous lollipop, a vine in two pots
with caramels attached to it
Lighting: Daylight stage, with foot-
lights and overheads up full at be-
ginning. Amber baby spot on Piper
as he plays tune that rids the city of
the rats. Fade on green baby spot
on Piper as he plays tune that leads
the children away. At this point
stage darkens gradually for a mo-
ment while Obie calls for the Piper
and then lights go up full again as
he appears in amber spot. Lights
full up at end.
THE MIXING STICK
Characters: 6 male; 5 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Simple everyday clothes.
Properties: Large stick, salt, two
onions, potatoes, some turnips, a jar
of drippings, large bone, sprig of
parsley, few carrots, a cane for
Tommy, some bowls.
Setting: The kitchen of the Brown
home. It is a large, old-fashioned
882
PRODUCTION NOTES
room. At right is a fireplace with a
big pot hanging in it An almost
empty table and some chairs are at
left. Against back wall is a cup-
board with some bowls in it.
THE MAGIC COOKIE JAR
Characters: 2 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: The Prince wears a long
dark cloak and a mask over his
clothes. The others are in uniform
according to rank.
Properties: Rolling pin, dough or
something that resembles it, tray of
burned cookies, large stone jar, glass
of milk, plate of cookies, cake turn-
er, gold coins, paper and pencil.
Setting: There is a door right, and
another entrance at left The stage
is set with a large table, several
chairs and cupboards along the
walls, right and left These are
lined with dishes, pots, pans, etc*
and there are also a great many
cookie jars and tins.
THE TOWN MOUSE AND His
COUNTRY COUSIN
Characters: 4 male; 2 female; 2
others (cat and the dog).
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Costumes for the mice
may be made by dyeing old long
underwear, and attaching wired rope
tails. Mouse masks with humorous-
ly painted white eyes and perky ears
can be made of crepe paper for the
heads. The hands may be clad in
mouse-colored gloves and held in
paw-like positions throughout The
cat and dog are clad in adapted
brownie suits, and wear dog and cat
masks. The Mayor's Mouse should
be dressed in a frock coat, opera
hat, white vest, gloves. He wears
oxford glasses, and carries a cane.
He also wears gray spats. Ma
Mouse wears a sunbonnet and also
an apron and a shawl when she
goes out
Properties: Cane, broom, scraps of
food, two watches, dishes of candy
and of nuts.
Setting: Scene 1 is a shabbily furn-
ished corner of a barn. There are a
few rough chairs and a table. Scene
2 is a well-furnished dining room.
Long drapes hang over windows at
right There is a door at left The
table is covered with a lace table-
cloth, on which are the remains of a
banquet Several chairs are around
the table, and one large chair is at
the head. There are two candles
burning on the table, just burning
down into the golden sockets of the
candlesticks.
Lighting: For Scene 1 .try to give
effect of sunbeams coming through
cracks in barn. In Scene 2, the
burning candles supply the light
HANS WHO MADE THE PRINCESS
LAUGH
Characters: 7 male; 6 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Henrik, Nils, Maria and
Hans in peasant dress. Hans wears
a red wig. Fru Beek and Gertrude:
bodices, brightly colored skirts, caps
and aprons. Johan Koeller in buff
breeches and black coat He wears
a wide brimmed black hat Peder
Jesson in uniform; red coat, buff
breeches, gaiters and a hat suggest-
ing a shako. The Fairy Godmother
wears a long, dark cloak and a ker-
chief tied over her head. The Prin-
cess wears a long dark cloak with a
hood. She throws the cloak off for
tne final scene. The costume dis-
closed should be worthy of a Prin-
cess. The Princess's attendant is in
gray. Page in tunic and long hose.
Street sweeper in nondescript gar-
ments but clothed with the air of
authority which street sweepers
have. Extras in variations of the
above costumes. Dog wears all-over
gray or brown, and walks on all
fours.
Properties: Stuffed cloth pigs; bas-
ket; eggs (for which ping pong balls
may be used) ; basket scroll ; hand-
kerchiefs; simulated white goose;
pop gun; balloon: confetti.
Setting: The Palace is in the up-
stage part of the marketplace. A
balcony looks out on the square.
Around the square are various stalls.
There is a fruit stall, egg stall, vege-
table stall. Not a great deal of each
article is needed. The contents of
the stalls may be suggestive and col-
orful, and crepe paper may be used
PRODUCTION NOTES
883
to give appearance of larger
amounts. The facade of the palace
may be made of grey crepe paper,
and a pattern of masonry can be
drawn on it in black and white
crayon. The balcony may be simu-
lated by covering a screen with the
same grey crepe paper and placing
behind it a table on which two chil-
dren can stand. An entrance to the
balcony either of steps from the
stage or through the rear wall must
be arranged.
A PRECEDENT IN PASTRIES
Characters: 14 male; 5 female; ex-
tras as desired.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: The judge's costume may
be as elaborate or as simple as cir-
cumstances dictate. It can range
from the official ermine-trimmed
robe and the judicial wig to a plain
black gown. The costumes of the
men are divided between the smocks,
heavy brogans and wide-brimmed
hats of the farmers and the gaiters
and frock coats of the men of the
village. John Chubb is in his shirt
sleeves and wears a baker's apron
and cap. The women should wear
bright colors to give life to the
scene. Their costumes are those of
housewives — plain dresses with
long full skirts, relieved by white
kerchiefs, mopcaps and aprons.
Properties: A small cake or bun; a
fairly long plank and a substantial
trestle; a sack filled with anything
at all to represent the buns and a
long piece of rope to bind the sack
to the plank. The trumpet announce-
ing the judge's entrance is tradi-
tional. Papers and pen and ink on
the clerk's table.
Setting: It should follow the tradi-
tional arrangement of a Court room.
The judge's bench should be on a
dais and if possible there should be
a canopy representing wood above
his chair. The rest of the furniture
should be very plain and have a look
of long use. The benches of the
spectators should be well to the
sides of the stage to allow space for
setting up the "scales of justice."
THE THREE AUNTS
Characters: 5 male; 10 female. Ex-
tras as desired.
Playing Time: 25 minutes.
Costumes: The maids are dressed in
medieval peasant costume. The court
ladies are in peaked caps and wim-
ples. Tapestries would offer excel-
lent suggestions for details. Doub-
lets and hose for the men. The
three aunts are dressed in black with
touches of white. A false face or
nose for Gros Bee: a hump for
Bossu; red eye make-up for Oeil
Rouge.
Properties: Broom and dusters; a
spinning wheel or a spindle; a bas-
ket full of flax (untwisted rope may
be used for this). A spindle full
of twine to represent the spun flax.
The loom may be improvised from
odds and ends of lumber with slight
attention to details. A white cloth
is stretched on it. A white "linen"
shirt with full sleeves.
Setting: If possible, there should be
two sets. However, it is not neces-
sary. A change of scene may be
made simply by a change of stage
properties. The Throne Room should
give an effect of spaciousness. The
throne is on a dais. A carpet leads
to the dais. A small bench on which
the aunts may be seated during the
last scene should be just offstage.
If screens are available, they may
be set up in front of the Throne
Room scene in such a way as to
suggest a small tower room. The
second scene requires a bench on
which Julie sleeps and a chair before
the spinning wheel. The third scene
is the same except for the substitu-
tion of the loom for the spinning
wheel.
Lighting: The play may be produced
without special lighting, but if pos-
sible the dimming of lights while
the three, aunts are at work will add
to the effectiveness of the scenes.
HANSEL AND GRETHEL
Characters: 2 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: All the characters may be
dressed in simple, poor peasant dress,
except the witch, who wears tradi-
tional witch's costume.
884
PRODUCTION NOTES
Properties: Wood logs, bone, candy,
stick for witch, bags with coins,
colored stones to represent jewels,
cloak.
Setting: The Woodcutter's home in
Scenes 1 and 5 is very sparsely furn-
ished with a rough table and a few
chairs. There is a fireplace upstage
left No set is needed for Scene 2,
except a simple backdrop with a few
trees to indicate a forest scene, and
the outside of the witch's house at
right The witch's house for Scenes
3 and 4 is simply furnished. There
is a cupboard with a door at the
right and a large stove door at left
There are cots for the children, and
a fireplace in center of rear wall.
PETER RABBIT
Characters: 3 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Flopsy and Mopsy are
dressed in gingham; Cotton-Tail
and Peter in little suits with short
pants and jackets. Mother Rabbit
wears a house dress with a large
white apron over it The children
taking the part of the rabbits wear
large brown ears and have large
wads of cotton tacked to the back
of their dresses or suits for tails.
Cotton-Tail should be quite a bit
smaller than the other rabbits and
have a larger tail than the others.
Farmer McGregor is in blue overalls
and tattered straw hat He has a
beard.
Properties: Handkerchief bonnet,
cape, market basket, rake, baskets of
berries, buns, botttle, spoon.
Setting: Scene 1 is furnished with a
rough table and several chairs. A
lantern, or two, may hang on the
walls. There is a cupboard at the
rear filled with dishes, silverware,
etc. The table is set for breakfast
There is an entrance at right. For
Scene .2, a fence is placed at the rear
of the stage. This may be a card-
board affair and at one end there
should be an aperture large enough
for Peter to crawl through. Bunches
of carrots, radishes and other vege-
tables are lined against the fence to
give the appearance of growing
there. A large watering pot or
bucket is at left Scene 3 is the
same as Scene 1 except that the
dishes are not on table.
THE POT OF GOLD
Characters: 1 male; 8 female,
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: The fairies all wear
dresses of the colors they represent
Other characters wear everyday,
modern clothes.
Properties: Pot of Gold (this may
be a gilded kettle or one covered
with yellow paper), yellow flowers.
Setting: None is required. How-
ever, a backdrop of an outdoor scene
may be used.
THE TEST
Characters: 11 male; male and fe-
male extras.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: All characters wear me-
dieval costumes. Each prince wears
a cap of his special color.
Properties: Books, scroll, bugle,
piece of wire.
Setting: The first and last scenes
take place in the throne room of the
king. A canopied throne stands at
the center back. Very little other
furniture is needed as the cast fills
the stage. The second scene, a li-
brary in the palace, ma3r be played
before the curtain to avoid a change
of scene. A table and chairs may be
arranged to suggest the scene. A
few books are on the table, and
there is a large clock on the curtain
to indicate the passage of time. It
should be arranged to have the
hands of the clock move slowly so
that by the end of the scene, the
clock shows the hour to have passed.
Puss-m-BoOTS
Characters: 10 male; 1 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: Puss-in-Boots may wear
an animal head. The others are in
costumes of the time, each accord-
ing to rank. Two players are re-
quired to wear the donkey suit A
lion's head is needed for the Ogre.
Properties: Rope for donkey; bag;
clothing; toy rabbit! bugles ; spears;
fan; fine suit of clothes for Tom;
scythe; sickle; rake; sword.
PRODUCTION NOTES
885
Setting: Act 1 is an interior set with
a wide open door at rear. Sacks of
"flour" are piled on the floor. In
the corner is a pair of boots, and a
hat, jacket and an empty flour sack
hang on pegs nearby. An invisible
thread or wire runs across floor and
is attached to toy mouse concealed
in wings. Act 2 is played before a
painted backdrop with a river bank
in the background and beyond it a
view of trees. A castle tower rises
above them in the distance. There
is a large tree trunk on the river
bank which concals the rear en-
trance. In Act 3 there is a small
door in side wall behind the Ogre's
chair, in an interior set
Lighting: Daylight overheads and
footlights if desired.
THE THREE SILLIES
Characters: 6 male; 4 female; male
and female extras.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Mr. Fuddyman wears a
black suit. The farmers wear plaid
shirts and overalls. The women
wear long, flowing dresses, gathered
at the waist, with aprons. The Cat
wears black pants and jerkin with a
black hood. The Cow wears spotted
pants, jerkin and hood.
Properties: Ring; axe; cider jug;
large, shiny boots; a switch.
Setting: There is a porch or shed
across the rear of the stage, connect-
ing the house and bam, corners of
which are seen on either side. Door
to the house is at the left end of
port; the door to the barn is at the
right. Near the house door is a
woodpile, chopping block, and nails
in the wall, in the center of the
porch stands a large barrel on a
stand with a stool at the right Hoes,
rakes, and other farm tools hang on
the wall near the barn door. In the
part of the barn visible., an upper
door to hay loft, with a ladder
leading to it and projecting into
yard is seen.
A KETTLE OF BRAINS
Characters: 2 male ; 2 female.
Playing Time: 7 minutes.
Costumes: Boys wear shabby play
clothes. Noodle has a soft boy's bat.
The Wise Woman may wear a long
dress with an apron over it Betsy
wears a simple dress with a pocket
in which she has a handkerchief.
Properties: Large kettle, large bur-
lap bag, small bag.
Setting: A forest scene with the
doorway to a hut indicated. There
are some sticks and logs set like a
fire, on which the kettle may be set
THE FLAG OP THE UNITED STATES
Characters: 10 male; 4 female; ex-
tras.
Playing Time: 10 minutes.
Costumes: Costumes of the Colonial
period.
Properties: A large American flag
set in a standard. Another flag with
thirteen alternate red and white
stripes with a British Jack in the
corner is required for Episode 1.
Setting: In Episode 1 a background
of ropes and sails to suggest a ship.
In Episode 2 a small table and a few
chairs are all that is required. Epi-
sode 6 also has a ship background
and a large wheel
No BRAVER SOLDIER
Characters: 8 male; 3 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: The characters are
dressed in clothes of the period —
traditional colonial costumes for all
but the two British officers, who
wear red coats with gilded buttons,
and three-cornered hats over wigs.
Properties: Bible, kettle, handker-
chiefs, pile of dean clothes, cream
bucket, logs, keg, muskets (these
may be cut out of cardboard), pew-
ter jug, quilts, cloths.
Setting: There is a large fireplace
in the rear of the room with a crane
and iron kettle. At the right side
hangs a warming pan and tongs, and
on the other side an array of long-
handled spoons and ladles. On the
mantle stands a clock, pewter can-
dlesticks, and a powder horn. To
the right of the fireplace stands a
spinning wheel, and to the left a
high-backed settle. A space must be
left between the settle and the fire-
place to show piled logs of wood. The
dresser is upstage right and on it is
the usual assortment of pewter and
willowware. At the extreme right
downstage is a door leading to the
entry-way. Left downstage is a win-
dow and window bench. At the left
886
PRODUCTION NOTES
downstage is a door leading to the
woodshed. A gate-legged table and
rushbottom chairs are arranged
center left to allow a good view of
the hearth.
THE HEROINE OF WREN
Characters: 4 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Cynthia, her Grand-
mother and Grandfather and the
Rider are dressed in Colonial Quak-
er costumes. Colonel Day and his
Orderly wear British uniforms of
the period.
Properties: Parcel wrapped in cloth ;
sheet of paper; two more parcels,
cloaks and hoods for Cynthia and
Grandmother; market basket cov-
ered with a white cloth; sword for
Colonel; a sack of coins.
Setting: Simple interior of a Quaker
home. There are two exits. The
room is furnished to give a Colonial
effect There are a rocking chair,
several straight chairs and a table
holding an old-fashioned quill pen
in a bottle of sand, a large ink well,
several sheets of paper, candlesticks
holding tall white candles.
HEARTS OF OAK
Characters: 6 male; male extras.
Playing Time: 15 minutes.
Costumes: The men are clad in plain,
homespun garments, and broad-
brimmed hats. In the first scene the
boys are in torn dirty clothes. The
Governor and his guards are dressed
in red military uniforms, trimmed
with gold braid. The guardsmen
carry swords, bellows, wood.
Properties: A rolled document rep-
resenting the charter.
Setting: A rather large, sparsely
furnished room. A door at the back
leads to entrance hall. At the left
is an open fireplace. On the mantel
above, the unlighted candles. There
are also candles on the long table
which occupies the center of the
room. Rude benches and an arm-
chair are scattered about in disor-
derly confusion. There is a fireplace
at rear.
Lighting: Provided by
and exting
nguished as indicated in <
of first scene.
SON OF LIBERTY
Characters: 5 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: All characters wear tra-
ditional colonial costumes.
Properties: Bouqtgt of flowers, vase
of water, large silver spoon, piece
of knitting and knitting needles,
copperplates, silverware, jewelry,
etc., ledger, tray with cups and
saucers and teapot, book, journal,
teapot, straw basket
Setting: There Js a settee at right;
various rockers and straight colonial
chairs and small tables are about the
room. In Scene 2 there is a display
case with jewelry, copperplates, sil-
verware, etc. There is a table hold-
ing the ledger before which is a
rough wooden bench. There are one
or two other chairs about the room.
Scene 3 may be the same as Scene 1.
DOLLY SAVES THE DAY
Characters: 4 male; 2 female.
Playing Time: 20 minutes.
Costumes: Characters may be
dressed in clothes of the period.
Washington wears the uniform of a
Continental General, and the Captain
that of the Hessians.
Properties: A rag doll ; riding crop ;
papers for the plans.; pen knife ; dip-
per; medal.
Setting: There is an old well at the
right, and a rustic table and chair at
the left
Nor ONLY THE STRONG
Characters: 4 male ; 7 female.
Playing Time: 30 minutes.
Costumes: The costumes for Mrs.
Reynolds and the six girls must be
Colonial in type, but simple and
plain. The clothing worn by the
Captain, Siras WItchfield, and Wil-
liam is the Daniel Boone garb. The
Preacher should wear an old-fash-
ioned black coat and high collar.
Properties: Flowers, bowl, two Col-
onial-style bouquets, knitting and
sewing for girls, musket
Setting: The furnishings are ex-
tremely simple. A plain, rather
rough table, upon which rests a
large Bible and a pair of brass can-
dlesticks, stands at one side. The
chairs are rush-bottomed. A wool-
wheel may be included, and a small
window at back of stage is absolute*
ly necessary.
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