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ich CnlUvttmt. 



V 



THE 

PIN-BASKET 

TO THE 

CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 

PRICB FIVE SHILLINGS 

€ntereti at &tationer0' ^olU 



THE 



; PIN-BASKET 

• • • ■ - • . h 

^HE CmLDREN^OF THESPIS. 



:•."•.• . .' . NOTES 
;* ■ "HifrbR.icAl.,;CRITICAL, AHO BIOGRAPHICAL. 

. By-joHk-%i-i;iiA"fe/;*mi-i^'V 

i ' • ^^\ * • ' » • 

. " ; Whose pipibUc;»jp^lat Jon 'i ; 



..^ 






I 




JP/«/ a/t/^ me ratio vaUbii quam vulgt (j^uthf 



Hontiott 



-. tUNTED FOR If, D. STMONDS, PATERNOSTER-ROW; AND 

ELLAl 
•A 



T. BELLAMY, KING-STREET, COVSNT-GARDEN. 






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A' i • 



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<: ■■■^- •■:'■..• -f. 



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, nr"». •• •«.- 



DEDICATION. 



TO TH£ 

NOBLEMEN AMD GENTLEMEN 

CONtTIJUTXNC THAT 

VERY HQKrORABLE SOCIETY, 

CALLKD, 

» THE LITRRART FUND*. 



MT LORDS AMD O B N T L E ir^TVf ...^ - ' : . 

NDER the impression of ^ure plcan^K^ itfi^ 'actuated by su* 
prcmc respect, I beg permissiori a):(%y-'t"l>c^^lU7Sii«g^-cffusion at 
your feet. Were I of that ord^ oF-meit vbo ijJloV Pomp and 
Folly, and profess without belief, this Address from me might be 
even less important than it is ; but as my agency, though erroneous* 
has been at least marked by sincerity^ I trust I shall have some 

• T%}s InsfitutioHi which may prohahly rank among the most useful 
and hesuvoUni in the iingdomy had its origin in a Clu6 held at the Prince 
mf Wales* s Co^ee-hotue^ Condssit'Strert^ consisting principally of men of 
tetters^ which generally had some object besides conviviality; and that 
object had ben frequently changed by the choice of the Society, or the in^ 
fiuenee of some actuating spirH^ ofwbkk *v*ry Society is possessed. 

During the summer rtcess of the year 1780, aa svent took place which 
tarnished the character of Mnglish opulence and humanity , and afiicted 
the votaries of inovide<^e. 

Flayer Sydenham^ tte toellknonvn translator of Plato^ one of the 
most practical, if not of the most competent, Greek scholars of his age i a 
man revered for his knotvledge, and beloved for the candor of his temper, 
tind the gentleness of his manners ; died in consequence of having been ar» 
jested and detained for a debt to a victualler, who bad, for some time^ 
furnished his frugal dinner. 

At the netvs of that event every friend of Literature felt a mixture 
of sorrotv and shame ; and Mr. DaVID Williams had the virtue 
and the honor to propose, that the Society should adopt, as its purpose, 
tome means to prevent similar ajlietions, and to assist deserving ^iutbors 
and their families in distress. 



DEDICATION. 



credit with ma:. kind in my protestations of zeal. I have been to* 
licited to support innumerable claimants, from the Prince to the 
Peasant, including all the intermediate classes ; but I never con- ^ 
descended to solicit the support of any. I i:avc had the hardihood 
to stand erccf , and alone ; and whatever I have enjoyed of faaie 
or fortune, that little I have literally ravished. lu such circum* 
stances, and with such a spirit, I have proudly selected you as the 
objects of my public esteem. The Institution which ye have esu- 
blished is of that high and noble nature, as will endear ye to ge- 
nerations unborn ; it is an ample wing to cover the nakid children 
of Genius ; and in their ilame, and from the core of my heart, I 
thank you. It slioijd l>e J^nii^^tb^your manner of conferring a 
favoritflipcMreTswetlTthalt^iha o^(tit^*y^^ bestow ; before the ce- 
lestial^* iQpIcftdbr* of * a g^opd ^fed, all the emblazoned mumme- 
ries of Proflig2LC;y| Ig^C^i«nce,t a!)H Barbarism, vanish into nothing- 
ness. Italy liiB Uwdh Re^ 'A^^ustuSt her Medici, and her Leo; 
mnd Great ^rjltajhChav^tolbftlatp^ a Pavid Williams, an Isaac 
SwAiifsoN*4 ^i({i!a1f>'l'tfoVkAs Wrris, and a Dr. Dale, the 
beneficent founders of the Literary Fund. 

The progress of modem Literature seems little more than one 
impostor supporting another; and, like the poetical blasphemy of 
that arrogant rhymer Alexanoir Popc, who compared Swift 
to Cervantes, and Swift, who compared Pope to Homer^ 
they all mutually lie for their mutual accommodation. We have 
Tccently had instances of vain men who have paragraphed them- 
selves to death in the Journals, that they might eventually para- 
' graph themselves into celebrity and a fair reputation ; and one has 
gone so far as to make poor Goldsmith write an eulogy upon 
bis unknown mttiu, after he had been six months in the sepulchre. 
This, it must be admitted, is a novel method of acquiring notoriety, 
without possessing either ability or the appearance of it ; and I 
think it necessary to declare, lest I should prematurely expire, that 
I never meant to convey any praise to any individual but what is 
now extant ; and that, if any presume to affix my name to a self- 
, written encomium after my decease, it is spurious, and should 
. iiave t»o weight with society. It is a curious fact, that ninety* 



DEDICATION. 



Btne books are made for one that is written ; and hence aritet the 
profeuional necessity for undermining an original labor. 

The libeitiet taken with the moral principles of men when dcadi 
to an«wer the vile purposes of local imposition, is astonishing :~- 
Boi.wBLX.^ gravely informs us, that the Bi&hop of London averred 
thatSoAMB'jENYRs dicd a good Christian ; which all who knew 

bim know to be neither more nor less than a direct ■ — — I 

"Lord SHirrxELD, in his posthumous account of Edward Gibbon^ 
inunuates- likewise, that the Historian died in the acknowledgment 
«f the articles of the national faith ; nut one syllable of which has 
obtained any credit with the philosophic or independent portion of 
humanity. Samuel Johnson's Lives of the Poets is a disingemi« 
out and ruinous use of power, ejtercised in the fool pride and evil 
hope of opposing the most noble convictions of the world, by mak« 
ing the great little and the little great : a man o^ high genius would 
feel debased in being enrolled with one half of those he has so 
shamefully embodied. Boswell, in his octavo Life of Joknsok^ 
calls the European Magazine an elegant publication ; and the M^ 
gazine, in return, quotes his puerile narrative, in succeeding nutu- 
bers, till the inquisitive mind sinks under the reciprocal delusion \ 

If wc look to the European Magazine^ we find the heavy publica- 
lions of tbe blockheads of the hour deuilcd in a string of continued 
matter from month to month, while the most poignant efforu of 
the mind arc unnoticed, if not misrepresented. If we look in the 
Amniud Registers^ the prospsct ia yet more gloomy ; the sacrificei t# 
the avarice of bookaellers^ and the vanity of wealth, are systematic; 
but there is not one solitary insertion tributary to Genius : the dull 
rogues, who cdite %uch works, look with agony at beings supe- 
riorly gifted, and will only cull, for their poetical and prosaical 
departments, such quotations as cannot reduce their importance in 
the sfal^ of comparison. Thus, between the strong influence of envy 
and covetousneu» the efforts of superlative wit are sedulously and 
illiberally supprest. 

In the Universal Magazine for the year 1795 there is a series of 

comical communicat'.ons from Dr. Bbattib, aj>out the ingenuity 

of a dead ton, of whom nobody heard beyond the precincts of 

a 2 fr»5&^v^ 



DEDICATION. 



Aberdeen. In this way one raembcr of a family can extend that 
little stock of merit he may possess through all his race. 

Can any man of erudition and taste peruse the leaden, sombrous 
-works of Mr. Pennant without disgust ? He has published twm 
opiates, which he calls a Teur in ScotUnd^ and a History of London ; 
and both are, in my opinion, but instances of the supreme stu^ 
3pidity of their Compiler; I do not say Auikort as that is a term 
which few or none deserve ; yet by these inefficient pa formancet 
he procured a greater reward than the most brilliant existing geniuf 
could ; so foul are the organs of fame, and &o debased is the ge- 
■eral intellect ! 

. Although it may be lomewhat like a repetition of my own sen* 
timeot, 2 will again inform the Public, that all the monthly Re^ 
, mftoj are the property of the Booksellers, who command those venal 
slaves that condescend to be Reviewers, to recommend, in terms 
of extravagant eulogy, all the publications appertaining to their 
establishments, and depress and insult any insulated great man 
itfho may rise up in the world of letters, without the inclination 
or power to suborn a false praise, until his chagrin may foice 
kim to seek their den for a protector. There is a ttiooden Gentleman^ 
ycleped GAimxHs, who has had tn annual income, during se- 
veral years, of eighteen hundred pounds, for the liberal management 
of a Monthly Review. Is not this an amajsing reward for a block- 
head ? In the body of the ensuing Poem I have called this amiable 
wight Dick, instead of Ralph, for which misnomer I solicit 
f ardoD from him, and particularly his godfathers ; the latter of 
whom have fulfilled their duty even to the last points of scrupu- 
Jpsity, aa I taever knew a greater proficient in the vulgar tongue! 

The Newspapers of the metropolis are, generally speaking, 
similarly influenced, and ruinous to the cause of Truth and Genius, 
Whoever writes in favor of Mr. Fox may command the applauses 
f}i \,\it Uorning ChronicUi the Morning Post^ the Gazettter, the Tele^ 
graph, and the Courier; whoever writes in behalf of Mr. Pitt (and 
such writers there are) have a correspondent protection in the Times, 
the True Britvn, the Sun, the St. James* s Chronicle , &c. ; but there is 
no resource whatcier for a virtuous independence* The Morning 

Hetald, 



BEDICATIOK. 



Herald, it mutt be •dmittcd, it the most neutral. This statemenr 
is not meant as any fraternal offence to the Editors ; it is^ and will 
be, the u&aal result in all foundations, while the love of aatmal 
gratification is superior to the love of integrity. To be direct and 
honest docs not assimilate with the views of many ; yet all this tery 
partial folly will terminate in shame, if not destruction ; and the 
modes of religion, as well as policy, mu't be revised, as the admi- 
nistration of either has been rendered incompatible with human 
good ! 

The Booksellers have determined, as far as in them lies, that I 
shall ^ease to be an Author. My plain exposition of the manifold 
frauds of the Reviexvers is, in their eyes, a crime that defies expi- 
ation : there is scarcely one of them that will sell any work of 
mine, except my immediate publishers ; every art has been ex- 
hausted to suppress their circulation; if they are demanded from 
the country, they will not execute the order, but have the effrontery 
to aver that they are out of print; and this is the iron fate 
which Shakespeare would cxpericr.ce in this besotted island, if 
he had nobly resolved* to breathe unconnected with such saucy 
knaves. 

Their conduct towards me has been uniform. If I would not self 
the copy-right of a work, they have taken especial care that the sale 
shonld be clogged with insurmrbuntable expenccs. Tobe1>ricfr 
they have copiously drank their wins out of my scull upon all 
occasions \ — The most wealthy amorg them have ever appeared to 
me like the most popular of our physicians, as they live and pro- 
sper by the gradual destruction of thore who unwittingly fred their 
murderers .'-^They are the most stupid and ignorant ^lass of man* 
kind ; and yet (by some latent ordinance of Destiny) they are 
permitted to hold the iiluminati in chains, and goad' and drive them, - 
- when and where their caprice urges. They have forcibly seized the 
bounty of the Muses, and set spring- guns in every acre on Parnassus, 
to' cripple all those haughty bards who will not subscribe to 
their base usurpation ! — This is the ixal state of oppressed and 
insulted Genius in this country ; aitvd vViu%\V v*'^ •^\^«^'«\ x^\!k»x\^ 
whilcj in aimost every depaitmtnl o( Vvi«, ci-cU ^lilUa^v^'^^^^^^'^ 
a 3 



10 DEDICATION. 



to shove the Jtmpie and the wortl^ from their itools. But the 
national vision is twitted, and they feci justified in their folly and 
degradation hy the general approv^. In what a bestial commu- 
ioity we breathe— where perception is a disadvantage — modesty a 
V eakness— and poverty criminal ! So miserably fallen is the 
facuky of the nation, that the greater poition of (he books which 
are annually published are made or compiicd, and not conceived i and 
if an ^igtHdl work appears, to flash upon the region of dulness, 
the bibliothetic dolu meanly and malignantly confederate to limit 
its influence, and destroy its character — an evil which they are ena- 
bled to pcrpetiate so effectually, by their power and their num- 
berf, that the mightiest Genius, who disdains to pay homage to 
such unworthy grubs, or become a servile pensioner upon their illi- 
beral and base r stablishmcnis, must eternally retire from the matt ot 
Letters, with desperation and a broken heart! 

-There arc two Authorliogs, or rather Book^mukerSt who arr.ble 
and gabble about thq metropolis, and who have formed a confe- 
deracy for the necessary support of each other : they have a limited 
portion of information, but no genius whatever ; and as neither 
' possesses acumen, or the necessary qualifications for the pursuit, 
they unremittingly exercise the harlotry of the literary characte r : they 
have each a pair of large gold spectacles, and both seem infldted 
and pompous, which, in truth, is the sine qua mm of a dunce. 
Wh^n they are encircled by their inferiors in understanding, a& 
even that is possible, they stun their hearers with a metaphysic 
burst ; when they cannot present you with argument, they inundate 
with words, and each will labor to prove that an army of Angels 
can make the pas seul upon the point of a needle without JQtling, 
or the aid of a dancing-master. There b another thesis, infinitely 
more essential to society, which these loquacious associates strive 
to enforce, and that is, the possibility of existing without food ; but 
do not be deluded with a false presentment, as, if any -among ye 
should haply invite them to dinner, you will soon perceive the im- 
mense difference between principle and practice, and that, so far 
from theit being more highly endowed with the powers .of sclf-de- 
Biai than ihcirntigjahoun, each has the ca^acit^ \q bitcd %Um\u^ \ 

1 * 



DBDICAXIOK* 1 1 



The scrutiny of envy, in thfie days, is wondcrCuHy diligent^ ind 
pleatantly acrimooiou* ; as, if the fame of a poet is so great, t^iat 
they cannot disprove what ke fs^ they will exercise the most pubifiil 
zeal in proving what he ij mit ! — If there was any perception in so^ • 
ciety, the word criticism would now operate as an emetic with the 
Public. If a being, inteUectually restricted, possesses ^o influence 
with Glory, and has some erudition, he immediately thrusts his name 
into notice, by writing what he calls a criticism on Shakespeare, 
Milton^ Thomson, Akenside, &c. in which he laboriously destroys 
every intention of the mangled poet, and becomes apparently 
^ haughty and self-sufficient, in proportion ai he renders his author 
cloudy and unintelligible : indeed this lunacy is npw carried to 
such an height, as threatens the utter subversion of all that is true 
and meritorious in the lettered world. Thus these methodical^ 
pains-taking, beechen*-headed rogues, obtrude them-selvcs in the 
van of society. A band of Presbyterian Doctors haye cast a gloom 
ovcrthehemispliereof criticism, and sedulously labor to bring that 
wit into disrepute which the dull varlets cannot imitate. It is from 
this predominating, malign influence, that we never find the great 
name of Butler quoted on any occasion. The Vandals were more 
rapid p their progress of destruction, but not so systenutical or 
subtle as those sour4ieaded commentators. 

Perhaps the reason, or patience, or character, or dignity, of no 
pivilized nation, was ever so outraged as Great Britain has fecent!y 
been, by the clumsy, daring, and ignorant imposture relative to 
the Shakespeare MSS. in whiph one 3amubl lazLAND, a Spital- 
fields weaver-^his son, whom he has been pleased to call Samukl 
Wi LLi AM HzNRY — and a stroUiug Actor of the name of Talbot — 
%appear to have been the more active agents : and to crown the %o* 
lemn, but mischievous farce, the following persons have become 
immortally ridiculoua, by egregiously signing their names for the 
furtherauce of such an aa of folly and shame, viz. 

Samuel Parr. Lauderdale. 

^ John Tweddcll. Rev. J. Scott. 

Thomas Bui-gcat. KmTi^vtd. • 

JohnByng, . John l^VisSMt^Q^* 

V 



12 DBDICATIOK. 



James Bindley. Thomai Hunt. 

Herbert Crofu Henry James Pyc. 

Somerset. Rev. N. Ihornbury. 

Is. Heaid, Garter King of J. Hcwlet,.Tran lator of o!d 
Arms. Records, Common Picas Of- 

r. Webb. fiee, Temple. 

R. Valpy. Matt. WyatU 

James Boiwelk John Frank Newton. 

It appears, according to the tettrmony of the elder Samuel 
Ireland, that Mr. Boswell fell upon his knees previous to the 
enrolment of his name, and in a tone of enthusiasm and exaltation 
thanked God that he had lived to -witness this discovery, and ex- 
claimed that he could now die in peace ! — To deceive such men as 
Jimmy Boswill and Dr. Parr, would do but little credit to 
any species of impostot : I knew them both as ostentatious bab- 
blers, with this difference, that the first was an uibane merry 
sany, and the lait a pompous dealer in the names of things, with 
little knowledge of their nature, and less wit— a sulky, vulgar pe- 
dagogue, encumbered with a preponderance of belly, and a mca- 
surclt-ss periwig. — But that the other personages should be in- 
duced to be crucified upon the altar of common Disdain, amazes 
me ; and, as if it was the design of Fate to overwhelm them with 
contempt, in that inauspicious moment, while their signatures were 
dragged out recking hot and warm from Old Ireland's o,ven, the 
Young GentUman (for they both denominate themselves as Gentle- 
men] formally and proudly acknowledges the whole affair to have 
been an imposture of his own fabrication ! — An honest man is so 
affected by such gross instances of cullibility and scoundrelism, 
that he cannot avoid turning to the Subscribers, and asking thtm, in 
a spirit of pity more than anger, if their love of life is not reduced 
by such a naked exposition of weakness ? — Tliis century has been 
polluted hy \ht .BottU Conjurer ^ Elizabeth Canning, and the Cock- 
lane Ghost^-wna it was miserably doomed in its old age to perish by 
this literary Jistula in ano ! — If I should survive its departure, I 
will chaunt an appropriate requiem to its memory, and cvaci^ate 
upon its aabcf { 

IK 



l^BBICATIOK. J 3 



When this dirty ajair was in iu fint stage of progress, the fftbri* 
cators knew it would be necessary to have some credulous indorser 
involved, whose publicity might give a colouring to the measure, 
and whose awkward vanity might impel him to an eager participa* 
tion in the serious cozenage : under such a. persuasion, who could pre* 
sent Himself so adequately as Dr. Paur ?«— Pregnant with the blub* 
ber of literature, and crammed with the thirty-nine articles of belief^ 
the difficulty was so limited in persuading this rude priest of the 
authenticity of the MSS. that upon the younger Ireland's pro* 
ducinga loose prayer, which the subtle party attributed toShaAespeare, 
he loudly exclaimed, with the true JohnsonUn surliness, << that be 
had never thought so cheaply of the Liturgy until that moment!*'— v 
Yet this inflated animal is a teacher of youth, and is presumed by 
some to have the ability to teach them to think rightly ! 

The vain rage among the little-miiided to imitate the brutalitios 
of the late Dr. Johnsom is amazing to a rational observer. Stomc*^ 
time since I was zealously invited to dinner i>y the sister of 
one of our Journalists, and when the cloth was removed, an 
awkward^ slouching, illndressed %ure, stalked into the room, 
with a black coat, a long beaxd, and Uue stockings. — After bul- 
lying the lady of the, house for not waiting dinner for him, aU 
though he came an hour after the appointment, he ordered in 
the meat, and b^gan to eat without uking the kast notice of 
any of the ladies or gentlemen who were present — and as hf 
mangled and dei^ioured his food moic like a savage than a man^ 
we were all disgusted^ and walked tittering into the garden.-^ 
•' In the name of Heaven,** said one of the ladies, ** who can 
that brute be?" — " He is a Professor of Greek,*' Fejoined the 
hostess—** I should like him better,'* said the other, " if he was 
a Professor of Good Manners !" 

I understand that Pr. Parr is so infected with this rage of 
imitation, that he cannot avoid growling at the Altar. Yet what 
do these meii know which cannot be taught to every plough-boy 
with a sound memory ? 

There is a stupid Bookseller in Pall Malli who^ in the ruinous 

hoj^e 



14 DEDICATION. 



hope of becommgoracular, like John to N, has snarled away all 
his acquaintance. 

There are two rival dunces who have lon^f subsisted by gutting 
old magazines and newspapers, for anecdotes of persons who 
lived in the time of Hogarth ; and though neither know any lan- 
guage but their own, even they affect all the Johnsonian scnten- 
tiousness, and bow-wow delivery f— In truth, it is now necessary 
that the wise and the polite should resist the further progress of this 
ludicrous folly. 

Although the greatest crime in thit state and age is to thinks 
I'will not be deterred, from the exposure of hypocrisy or 
criminality.— 'Though an envenomed host have repeatedly la* 
bored to organize my murder, it has not diminished my 
seal.— I was educated to love virtue, and despite cunning ; but 
I have since proved, that no man can live safely unattached to 
■cunning, though every one may without virtue. — The Govern- 
ment appears disinclined to relax in any ofEcial abomination ; 
and although it is in my thought, that Liberty is as the Light, 
only beneficial when restricted, yet so unfitted is the community 
for the intereita of Truth, that my argumenu are supposed by many 
M hostile to the purposes of political right and necessity! — It is well 
known that I might have been pensioned, but my heart revolted 
at the idea of being a slave :— it never was comprehended in 
my wayward lot, that my independence should be otherwise 
than mental ':^I coul4 not securely retire from a vitiated an4 
sophisticated metropolis, to winder, like Horace, 

Inter silvas Academi fuarerc verum. 

My exigencies requited that my exertions should be without cessa* 
tion-— but the efforts were sweetened by reflection. 

I shall now proceed to develope a series of transactions that 
^1 me with sorrow: — I allude to Warren Hastings and 
snyself.— The cause of my original predilection for this man 
(whose real character I most sillily misunderstood) was the 
ardent recommendation of a miliury officer of rank in India, 
who wat my fcUow-scholar ; he abtcooded from the University 



dbdicatiok; 15 



in the issue of a family dispate, and entered as a private in 
the service of the £ast-India Company; his accomplishmentSi 
-which were uncommon} soon procured him a halberd, and in 
that state it is probable he might have long remained, had not T, 
at the age of Seventeen, rorojintically written to Lord Pi got in 
his behalf, who was at that period appointed to the ' Government 
of Madras : when I called at his house for an answer to my epis- 
tle, he gave me an audience : I explained my motives for the 
trouble, and he kindly promised me to find out my fri<:nd, and if 
he answered the description, that he would provide for him ;— 
he did so— and it was the tenor of that gentleman's letter which 
first impelled me to uke up the hatchet in the defence of Wa a- 
KIN Hastimcs *. 

As my friend&hips are erected on an ample basis, I pirsued hit * 
foes wherever I found them. During the last nine years I have 
edited more periodical publications than any other existing per- 
sonage, and in all of them I constantly manifested my fervor for 
him ; nay, I even lost two of them, viz. the Star and the Combt, 
of which I was the parent, from a supposition that I paid more 
attention to One cause of Warrzn Hastings than the interests , 
of the Proprietary. I involved his honor in my best and most po- 
pular Poems ; I have argued in his behalf in every class of society, 
ontil my vehemence begot a thirst ; and sooner than yield to the idea 
that he was the monster his enemies had depicted, I relinquished 
the acquaintance of some valued Gentlemen who were the common 
friends to Mr. Burke and myself. 

In the summer of 1792 I met Major Scott at Margate^ who 
requested as a particular favor that I would methodize a biogra* 
phical account of Wa r r s n Ha stings from materials with which 
he would furnish me, I readily consented to the desire ; he sent 

• The conduct of Mr, ^o^ in this mendacious proceed'mg nviU tully 
his name for ever. There is much reason to apprehend that the rtal 
snotives ivhicb actuated that heterogeneous and famished mass -which they 
denominate The Party, in this ungenerous attack , an4 the secret embassy 
to Jtussia^ have chained him down so implicitly to the observance of 
EDMU^•D BorkeV feelings and character y thai he dare not treat him 
* Tjuitb requisite contempt / 



J 6 1>EDICATI0W. 



the MSS. and I re-wrote knd publi hed them*, for which bodi 
Warkkn Hastings and himself thanked me in the mon earnest 
maimer. During these years I had many personal intervievrt 
^ith Warren Hastxncs, in St. James's-place and Park lane, in 
his study and at his table, and he was uniform aud profuse in his 
•cknowledgments of my services, which he was pleased to signa- 
lize as eiAinent. I will be b9ld enough to aver they were almost 
without example as to perseverance and system. In the sessions 
of 1793 it was determined that some momentous question, includ- 
ing his credit, should be agitated in the House of Commons, and 
«n that occasion I went to Berkshire for the express purpose of per- 
suading the late Earl of Bar rv more to give him his support, which 
he piomised ; and I endeavoured to effect the same with a certain 
Baronet, but he was too much wedded to his party, and their 
views, to' pause in the hot pursuit of an unfortunate victim. I 
vrote ari account to Wakren Hastings of my procedure, who 
returned the following answer : 

5« Park'lane^ Feb. 12, 1793. 

*< Mr. Hastings presents his compliments to Mr. Anthony Pas* 
quin, and returns him many thanks for the zealous solicitude 
which^he expresses on Mr. Hastings's behalf| of the sincerity of 
which he is entirely convicced, and for th(» intimation which he 
has given him respecting the favorable disposition of Lord Bar* 
rymore towards Mr. Hastings ; the knowledge of which is at least 
so far of use to Mr. Hastings, as he is always glad to have his gra* 
titudc'dii'KCicd to those who ought to be the objects of it : he know* 
not in what manner Lord Barrymore's attendance in the House of 
Commons can be of any service during the Impeachment, unless 
it be upon the report of a Committee, which he finds was yester- 
day appointed to devise means for accelerating the progress of the 
trial in Westminster-hall, but of which he is unacquainted with 
the object, further than as it is announced in the Papers. 

<♦ To Anthony Pasquin, Es^, 
No. 125, Strand,** 

From , 



JTrott thU period to the conclusion of the trial I had but little 
personal oomtnunicatlon with Mr. Hastings, yet I did not in 
mof dtgnc fall off in my labors to support him, and defeat hit 
6unona enemies. When his persecution had ceased^ I naturally, 
and I tnH^iastly» expect some vo/uniaiy instance on his part to 
manifest that prodigious gratitude he: so prodigally professed to- 
wards me ; but, aUs ! I found that profession and practice were 
visionary, and that I was doomed,, by this unfeeling and mean 
man, to look for solacement only in the emoiions of my heart f 

In the year 1791 Mr. Richard Bukkx returned from his situa- 
tion as Paymaster of the Forces in Bengal ; he is the immediate 
cqusin of £omund Burkc, and was, I have much reason to think, 
the original miserabk instrument that gave birth to the prosecution 
pf Mr. Hastings. I became acquainted both with him and his 
history soon after his arrival, in a very singular manner :— An Irish 
Gentleman, Mr. S , who is a friend of mine, and lived in 
Pall-mall, wxote to roe, soon after Mr. Richard Bvrri's re» 
turn was notified in the London Journals, and entreated me to come 
to him on a very particular affair :— At the interview he informed 
xue, that a due regard for his Lady and numerous family compelled 
him to charge me with a leUer to Mr. Richard Borki, to d«- 
mand a categorical answer on a subject of some importance and 
delicacy ; the developement ran thus : — It appeared that, during 
the existence of that honorable but weak man, the Marquis of 
Rockingham, Mr. Edmund Burke, his political jackall, ob- 
tained the above-mentioned appointfttcnt for his relation, who went 
to India under these auspices ; but, from some evident informality in 
the proceedingi Mr. Hastings, as Governor* General, would not 
i«cognize him, and he was compelled to return, when his warrant 
was duly ratified by the Directors of the East India Company. 
This event was considered by Mr. EDMUNoBuRKiasan indelible 
affront to /its hono^, and was undoubtedly the virgin stinuilus for 
his insatiable resentment. The situation of Mr. Richard Burkb 
was so thoroughly unpleasant previous to his first embarkation, that 
he was reduced to the necessityof borrowing fifty pounds of my friend 
(his own kindred being unequal, or unwilling, to advacuce. vVa V»«vV 



X9 SEDI CATION. 



. <o enable hifli to make a gentlemanly appiartace on board thte vetscl, 
Mr. S—- ^ lent him the money on his bond, and Mr. R. Burkb 
promticd to remit the turn to England in the course of two years ; 
but several having dapted without any fulfilment of the promise, 
Mr. S '■ commiftioned an Officer, yfhio ttak g^ing out in the 
Company^! afenriGe* to take Ute bond to Mr. R. Bvaxt, and pro- 
core the fifty poundB.*<llie HbtA wH presemad and withheld, 
but no money wa< rdnAtted. !■ this state the a^ir rcmained- 
when Mr* R. BuCKaf arrived in London. As Mr. S wanted 

the fifty pounds to answer some very honorsMe-pur^ses, he wrote 
to Mr. R; Bu RKi ilpon the subject repeat<3dly, bat eould not pro- 
cure an interview, or any satisfaction-Whatever. It was in this stage 
of the buaioess that Mr. 9 t , in the name of hiitis«li and fa- 
mily, eaiAestly requested the to bear the fotlowifi|^' letter to Mr. R. 
BvtKE on the sttbjed: 

" Mr. Buaut, 

•* The t^tleman who docs me the honor to deliver this, 
18 Mr. WxLLf Ali^, perhaps better known by his writing- to you as 
Anthony Pasquin, and my particular friend. He steps for- 
ward, as more likely to settle the matter in question between 
us, tHan any legal interferer can be likely to do. If yon arc 
in earnest, and mean to pay the money on receiving a sufBcient 
indemnity, I conceive the inclosed draft will answer your pur- 
pose effectually. If you have not been able to recoiiect the trans- 
action, I have plenty of people who can certify that such a 
transaction did pass— some from having frequently seen your hote^ 
to me— others from having repeatedly heard me wonder you 
neglected to remit money committed on such an emergency, and 
on such liberal principles. You acknowledge in your letter 
you never paid such a bill ; it therefore mu&t be still due, and 
I cannot suppose you would evade the payment of the prin- 
cipal (which is ail that is demcndcd at the end of sixteen years )^ 
merely on the accident of the bill being Tost. My friend, Mr. 
Withy, will join in an indemnity from all future claim that 
can or may be made oo ytm for the said fifty pounds ; and I pre* 

sumc, 



pzDicATioif. ig 



8ume (if you are really ia earnest* and moui to pay the money), 
this will be satisfactory. I beg to have yoar definkive nnlvc oa 
^hia business by the beater. 

** I am, SiK, 
** Your obedient servant, 

Paii Mali, . • ■ •« AiiNtsLXT S— -.'» 

tejth April 1794. 

RlCHAilD Bouiiici, £m. 
At Mrs. Rog^t's, Duke strleet, ficcadillyA ' 

When I armod«l liU apartments, on the tgA of«April 1794, 
«nd disolos6d the ioteot of aiy vilit,-^ ' appeared a»ic^ -dit» 
conctrtcd^ 'tod liade* aome company -)ii cither had, or-^afiecied 
«o We^ in aDocher apattincnt, ao'apdiogy far not eaceriscf npaa 
tfac'tdhjocts 9f tbis iiUiBditiMk I prohiised 10 'withdraw, but not 
until I had exacted his word that he would aee me at the samr 
hour on the ensuing day alone. On that day I went, and he 
Jt#^ his word*. I listened - with jn^ch aftrnyion to all that he 
CQ^. a^jvan^c JA hi« 9yn de/o^ce; and ajno^ 9f^ ^^^ thing^ 
he stated, t^.p^yil^ii^^^t^^ I had come to the wrong person, 

as bis |Hi9f >w ^#fA* *n^. ^^^ Bourke, as Mr. S 

bad Mir^ttfi)^ IfU this veiy subtle distinction was over-ruled by' 
ifiy smiling, and the subject was re-i»mcd. But perceiving that 
he parried the accusation of Mr. S-: — , "l was determine^ 
that he should 'meet the charge fairly, ancl demanded to know 
if he had or had not borrowed fifty pounds of Mr. S ■■ 
upon his bond — if he had rt&t received that bond in India <~ 
and if he, bona Jidt, had ever given Mr. S — any due con- 
iddcrafcioa, cither in .money or effects, to liquidate the obligation ? 
tie hesitated to answer .the question in a direct way^ but on my 
taking my hat, and assuring him that I shcmld understand his he- 
sitation as a deniaJ, and talbc my measures accordingly, he cop^ 
fessed that he had borrowed the money, and that the bond had 
Aot been liquidated. Here my point was gainqdi and I left him- 
jbo his own meditaiions, and the pious comolatioof pf. the ^y^ 
^onori^jle Mmk I 

A.2 'It 



20 DEDICATION. 



It must be evident that I had a two-fold felicity in the further- 
ance of this event, inasmuch as I had not only served a friend in 
trouble, but had unmarked an individual lA^ho had been pecu* 
liarfy active against Mr. Hastings, whom (notwithstanding his 
civil perfidy to me] I shall consider as a martyr to the most 
abominable and crooked statutes that ever disgraced the purposes of 
legislation. 

At the commencement of this month I was resolved to bring 
Mr. Hastings to his purgation, and for that purpose I con* 
suited several of the greatest, wise^, and best men of the age. — 
I told tbcm truly, candidly, and circumstaatially, the progress 
of my tifcn years services for thU tergiveraitory man ; and the 
icsnll IMS, that I should write him the following letter ; and that 
if ia the issue he was silent, I should proceed to a regular public 
cxphnation. On the Sih inst. I sent the ensuing epistle to him by 
a confidcaiial firicod t 

•• Sii, 
** At » preptntDfy ncMure, I deem it expedient to inform 
yttt thU yaof sttktts imifiKtor, Anthony Pasquin, is living. 

" I am, Sir, 
** Your most obedient servant, 

** J. Williams. 
** P. 8. tf tn answer Is not returned before or on the nth 
instant, I shall conclude that it is inconvenient to you to be wise or 
grateful. 

" To Waaiih Hastings, £jf. 
<• Park-lane.'* 

I waited with patience and anxiety until the time I had allotted 
foranaatwer had expired, and finding that Mr. Hastings was 
as negligent of the duties of good manners as of sympathy, I 
Attired to a cofSee-house, and wrote the annexed letter : 
" Sir, 
** Although your silence evinces your disingenuity, it does not 
excite my wooder. In my brief passage through life I have had 
many occasions to be convinced tluK a man may be rendered even* 

tually 



sKorcATiov*^ ar 



tually detf «veii to the yemoiutrances of his own heart— *but a dere« 
Uctum of 4uch Gomplicated v^fMtU to myself I never before knem 
^n^eed a rc^etitioB of them wouldl overthrow lAl^ltogecher !*<» 
What puniihrncMt does that individual merit iwbo dcaCrtpys the basi* 
of human corifid^o P^Wfao will attend to- the lamenti(i«iff d€ 
Ae xwetohedy %9^n' it it posmble that their memoriei «iay <mm 
wttii-thairpfciUB^^—Wbefl youJiwre howling for lUccoQrfrotti alt> 
'good nun, Uke a «n«ge stricken by the hunters in (he wildernciiy 
I camoitoyour aid, and you-fondiy lickcdmy hand : bat the bada» 
was acnccly administesed btffore-the obKg^ion^was 'forgtrnm f— 
In snoh a'-Case ihould -not Mahbmfct h&ve^oonHie to'thit inbuibialii'^ 
aod not the«iountain to 'Mahomet ?^Could yoa imagine, $ir, that 
I wooid knock at yonr gata as a supplicant P^Could y*tt-di«atn, itf 
the plenitude of an ideal majesty of character, that- I %H>qld b^* 
ioech where I oufht to 'demand ; yrt, not ccRiMl^MD|s*to -urge that 
demand, that I codid forget the theme, oT-reHnqiHlJT^he object > 
If yon thought thus, you have been egregious. Coold yotta|ipp6se 
it was in my disposition or desire to be elbowed at your Ub'W; witK 
your contractors, your nabobs, your rajahs, or your rascals P^What 
could embolden you to imagine tl\al I was so far sunk in the maae 
of profligacy, as to be ambitious of witnessing the rel«xation of 
ientiment, or the death of virtue ?— The morality of a Govemar«- 
Gcneral has ever been problematical, and by a course 'bf ductile 
feeling you may be enabled to fcft^ct tke 4tiudnesscs of an upright 
friend, in the unqualified caresses of a Sttitana, or the ccmversacioik 
of yow pert 6ommis,-^l have much consideration for the fof ce •£ 
habit, but could I h^ve thought the arts of an oriental government. 
had absorbed your integrity, you might have purchased an adve* 
oate in Air. Law, but you should not have had one in my person* 
I have ever rc^rded that Asiatic mod with abhorrence who kft 
Creat Aritaio as -bald dunces, and relutjned in the trappings of 
gorgeous villany ; they have corrupted the manners of the nation^ 
and destroyed its simplicity. I was impelled to suppose that 
you- ware an oxcofMii tb the common evil, but I have misunder'- 
atood both your head .i)p^ your heart- I-f- You may have s^giclkidar 
inda host of slaves; H^ut yon cannot hvf t it%xvc^\\\\v^ \ 

A3 " ^'^ 



22 DEDICATIOlf. 



** In the paroxysm of my liberal zeal for you I was materially in* 
jired in the scale of private friendship ; I had no hesitation in for- 
Heiting much to maintain a principle of imagined right ; yoo were 
environed by complicated knavery, and my feeling prompted me to 
war on your side ; you were triumphant, and I have been rewarded 
in my sensations. Yet it is not aufficient that Heaven blcsMi itt 
creatures, as it requires a correspondent orison from the creaturt 
that is blessed : but this may be an useless estimate in your eyes, 
M I am not convinced there is a moral decalogue in Indostan. 

** Your friend Muilmam Chxswsll isself.destroyed, and your 
iridid MxoDLBTOM consents to live. I do not mean to offer you 
an example in either instance, yet I think an individual of high emo* 
Kions would rather be the defunct than the survivor. In that bosom 
vhere gratitude is an alien, tiue dignity or fortitude cannot reaide. 
Kot to be, is a consolatory negation where thought is ; but to be, 
and not a man, is no diminutive species of damnation i 

** Your acknowledgmenu of my services, both personally and by 
letter, were excessive ; they involved a prostration of your souU 
When I smote the infuriatx Mokk, all your adherents chuckledi 
and you bowed in unison ; but when the inquisition ceased, you 
basely receded from your duty, and seemed to forget that I had a 
))cing : perhaps your abandonment of me might form a leading 
article in the truce between you and your enemies. My uniform 
resistance to scoundrelism has procured mc a foe in every social 
establishment. A modern Christian may be false to God and man* 
iund, and yti forgive himself in prayer ; but a man of honor cannot ! 

" Go, thou Ingrate ! retire to the hovefof your fathers, and sink 
into nothingness and o'blivion. If a document of the Bramin yet 
lives in your recollection, become the purer by its observance ; and 
when you tread on the bourn of nature, exclaim, (luid non mortalia 
pectora cogit auri sacra fames ? Who would have believed that 
Warrsn Hastings could have terminated his life so ignobly? 
But miracles were not to cease with the apotheosis of J«sus. 

Feb. 1%, I797*. ** Join Wii.liam»«" 

TVWA&Riy HaST1N6S| i>f. 

Tktti 



DBDICATIOK. 23 



Thus circumstanced are War RIM Has TINGS and myself, I 
am in pouession of a series of letters of instructions from Blajot 
Scott ; but as they were delivered in confidence, I cannot promuU . 
gate their contents. Had I thought of Mr. Hastings as of that 
order of miscreantic plunderers who have acquired immense for* 
times perfu cf m^ks% I would not have been hit ally ; .Imt I was 
nisledl by my hope, and ardently gave him credit lor more wor-^ 
thiness than I have discovered. I have not lifted up the tomahawk 
to destroy him, but to amend him. In being filse to me h« 
bis been false to himself; and I have no doubt but the perpetrator 
of an error is adequately punished in a consequent sensation. As it , 
is not in the ability of wealth to procare wisdom, bliss, or longe- 
vity, what is there in its possession that a Philosopher should 
envy ? While I have, mcnul health I will be independent, and 
when that decays I hope my dissolution will be near. 

When I published the New Brighton Guidi, which has 
caused so alarming a commotion among the noble gossips of Pall* 
Mall, it was from the purest motives : I examined the subject 
with all that attention which its importance demanded, and being 
well assured of the latent wickedness of the very subtle confederacy 
against the peace and dignity of the Prince of Wa lbs, I was 
determined to unkennel the performers in this shameful business i 
and having done that, I openly and candidly challenged any 
who thought themselves misrepresented by me to come forM'ard, 
before the Public, and prove the injury ; but none dare do it, at 
my authorities are incontrovertible. The accused parties then 
changed their ground, and declared, in futile and indecent terms, 
that at was unmanly to attack a lady. Upon this overstrained 
consideration the husband is to be overthrown, and the wife is to 
remain unquestioned— and the qualifying reason is, she is a wo« 
man ! — What ungallant, wicked, horrid wretches were Moses, Jo« 
sephus, Gwcciardini, Voltaire, Hume, &c. who have pourtrayed the 
vices of Evcy Jezshtk Messalina, Joan of Naples^ Mary the First, &cJ 
Why have the Legislators made a statute to punish those women with, 
death add burning who assassinate their husbands ? Were those terrible 
Stattsmcaliviogiaa^ bcougjhttoUiii riTTicoAT joMTO^Y^d^ 



34 DEDICATlOir. 



be all flagellated, if not extinguished, for their temerity. But to 
be lerious : there is no existing chaxacter that legally commaoidft 
•o great a portion of respect from mankind a- a good woman ; 
ahe ameliorates tbe iohtKne traublM of «ir syitem, and cbarms 
iM so highly,, thaiiwe ifcel «ioat biest in blcMing ber : but thia ia 
the frce^vwge df.the «oul ; and k sbMild be-Atttvod, that iew 
Ladies kme any OMasionito CHVt a» obedience Is-tbeir/dcttres, bat 
those who have aveaitlbnQd the privileges of their state by thcea* 
•nciae of folly 4r •vicidusness, 

I otvesTewived any direct £awQur from the Prxncz of Walk* 
but on one oaoasioB. About two years since I wrote a manly but 
KspeetfiEd kttor to bis Royal Highness to requeatan appointmentfor 
a friend ;aii^ibe At Ml a» was ra bounteous that vine of kis-houM» 
bold called i^pin mc the «dxtid«y to iitform nt chat his Royal 
Highness had.gravtad mj mqwmti 

It b cxpcdieiit oow, i»ctttMaeii> that I should arresit your at- 
tention to the leading subject o€ the Mlowiiig singular Poem, 
which is the present state of the Bri^mh Staob.— >I do not con* 
ceivc it to be a p9ftion of my iUity« aor is it any part of my in> 
cUnaiioo, to make tbeae aummary remapka equal to all the desires 
" of scrupulous logicians ; my attempts to establish truth, and a due 
adherence to the progress, completion, and result of natural -eveats, 
being on a scale too confined to warrant such expectations. I wish 
to render the Drama of this country more pure than it is, and I will 
attempt its reformation. It ha > been said by a Critic of high repu- 
tation in France, that Dramatic Poetry is nothing but a xpcaking 
dance, and dancing a dui:nb kind of poetry *• This declaration is 

* *Tbat Poet nvho involves the greater number of ormnal tboughts in 
Bis performance^ and conveys the most thinking in the fc^vest numbsr of 
Hifmrds^ ie, im my o^/Mj the greatest man, T'he iwman 4mnd has been 
vitiated m Iomt vfitb the mere jingling <f \o\c^ doTe.*-swaIn6, plains — 
sighing, dying— a«</ such dulcet nonsense^ that Common StnsCy as %ucll 
as Gtmhuy iad nearly lest the last remnant of her ertabiishrnent in so^ 
jjety. It ttuu wukr this impnssime delusion^ mr imsf^nsion cf ti»e judg- 
tmeatf that such smogtb trifiers i» i/erse, as the &&iS{TOL Milkwoman, 
W. Cowpsa, thcBtlLMAH of St, Sepulchre*s,Messrs, Pye, Pratt,. 
tSfe, and a thmuand etBer silien jinglers of equal nbtariOy and inefficacy^ 
•B«yt iem jfltUnlifhitr -nf" tfrtrfitfff Mr mf^tutai af-H^rtkm, 

partly,. 



DEDICATION. 25 



partly, but not completely adminible :-*that the Drama originated 
accidentally in a dance at a Grecian festival, I have no doubt ; but 
to have the song and the dance lo conaolidated, is what I cannot 
understand :-<*that a stoiy may be artfully impressed through the 
force of gesture, is certain ; but that poetry can tie denominated in 
any sense a dance, is preposterous ; and unless we connect a re- 
ference to its origiA with this strained aasertion, wc cannot be in- 
duced to give it any consideration whatever. 

Pel haps there is no country at present, and most assuredly 
there never was any in the antique world, where the human cha- 
racter presents itsdf in so many varied shapes, and is so thoroughly 
fantastical, as in Engkmd. Hence the Dramatist can find innume- 
rable subjects for the excrdse of his ingenuity, whose actions do 
not altogether tasue from the primary passions of our nature, bui 
are rather subdivisions of passion or caprices, which have a won* 
derfnl influence on oisr manners, indeed in so great a degree as to 
ookmr every movenaent of our lives with the hue of that governing 
and particular folly. In the days of Menander and Terence there 
were men who acted ivtlie usual concerns of life, as mtnymen 
must ever continue to act, the part of the Miser, the Lover, the 
Misantbtope, thc.^aloos Husband, the Enraged Cuckold, tlie Am« 
bitions Man,. tfa|l "Glutton, the Sot, and many other irregular per« 
sonagies, which will be eternally visible in our intercourse so long 
«s the imperfections of our system shall continue ; they are the off* 
spring of weakness, and are common in every climate where man 
confederates with man ; they are the genuine, though not amiable, 
result of our frailties, and rather note the mismanagement of pas- 
sion than any national chartcteristic. But in England the social 
character changes its appcaranee as often as the camelion ; our va- 
nity, and the contradictory desires arising from that vanity, give 
birth to an endless succession of deeds which did not originate in 
reason, and cannot terminate in happiness ; nay, the phraseology 
and idiom of tlie current language is purposely tortured and per- 
verted to aid and sustain that spirit of singularity and notoriety 
which actuates so many of our weak countrymen f and as the weak* 
est poxtioQ of most communities form the majority, it may not 

•eeia 



26 DEDICATION. 

seem very extraordinary that our cccenCricitics should so greatly 
prcpondcnue over theinilueace of good lense. 

The two great swrccs which cause t^ieir treason to piopri* 
flty are, in my humble apprcheasioa, our love of fame, an4 our 
irocdom of lyedKh; both of which, it must be admitted, are, 
iiadcrdue regulatioiifir emineatly necessary; but when either it 
licentiously indulged, they can only operate to render us ridicu- 
lous. The weight and responsibility attached to a singularity of 
manners are what. few arc fitted to bear; and it is a burden 
which few n«mt» bH^tboicywhoiA iattllects ajre lamentably in* * 
lufficienC. ...... 

Thtre ' is a spedas of tniinal baH>ariim "^h\ch Hi obtained a 
tenefiil influence MMWg Hi, flftlled wKMi mdtrkeiorif^ /PM^d^uw; 
ali.Professorr«fiect.io aano^nce k as a mimcry pijf^ni9l^ imbi^ 
ciiityjaB^ emr ; ./yqkil is hut a dispisitiag caricatore .of t^ fffqtf 
•£ aiaUa^lc orgtnipaiion; hs aanagcd by a falJibk i^^g'M*4^ W 
wbicb over anist be liaUe to misfepreaeniAtioaso lopg «% $^ ifflor 
and his-minie jhalibe impierfect, which will be to the fiiiiUigliof 
Naturt^tA-Ail such mimicry should be banished from the Stigc, 
M Unworthy a rational being to utter or to bcsr-rrinasmvip^ M ftt 
•aggra«4fQs''«i va&fmity' to the ' annoyance of Tnttibi oxnl M|es tbe 
etrugglcrof Ambittop tabienrient to the meanest purposet of P<. 
jcepiton. 14' the smallest Jtube is injured or nemoved whicl^ susula# 
our anatomy, the fmbDcwill become ineffectoal«iviAd if the con- 
necting beauties of the Fei^mer are withheld, mecely to form 
en ktttus in speech, or aa unharmoniscd tone in ddivery, the moat 
perfect efforts ofaGARaxcK would have seemed derogatory to 
Renown, in wall an illiberal «nd partial detail of consequences. — 
Such atfemp;^ miy be* tolerable, Aid even wonderful, in a mwr 
mozet or a jay, but are assuredly to be regretted in a hujnan bein^^ 
' That respect which should be attadied to the profession of vol 
Actor, is wholly destroyed by those deviations from dignity which 
*are necessary to the advancement of a Benefit night. An old itor 
bleman told me that he was once in company with the late Mr. 
Bar a Y , and that he admired htm as a fine geotletnan 43ntil hie pro* 
duced some Tickets Cor his Benefit, whidsbeid such aa efiisct upoa 

bis 



BSDtCATIOir* 27 



his system, that in the instot he forgot all that be had pre-conceivcd 
in his favor. — But wc now breathe in an age when Virtue and 
Merit begin td have fair pla y i ' a lthough the leaven of Barbarism 
will never be entirely destrvycd, whili a rational creature can be- 
lieve himself a better mm Scr wearihg gingerbreod insignia, or 
while the laws of .primogenitures hip hai]^ fbrce.^— Bm i» seems as 
if Jove had resolved to banish the golden dreams of such tnflers, 
by an exhibition of their nakedness. — fiow futile are all dtles when 
comparod with talcnttor4uiowIedgelh*-Whaft meiancholy instances 
we have «f thfc folly and raisclnef "of • local pre-eminenoe, in 
thoie miaerablc ^xcnch noblemen who iMve 'b)een banithed from 
their eoaici!/'.'— How 9tiy hdplMi, tf «oV MntemptiMe, arc til 
nich bb^gk» «irhen stripped of their aristociatir ^lumagr f-»-llie 
diaphii^of theirij^Mily escutcheons will not procifft Aicra a dinwer,: 
nor the idle annihiciatictis of the Herald, in his fool's jacket; alVay 
the huBflrof their famished^ alHvct^1g offtpMog {-*Thfcy Save hi* 
thcrto had the ability to tnake the DcCforaRhncy of the words RigH 
H§Mrabi€ »peratfc^s sicadanea ioi 'the denial of G^ius, and the 
absence ci Honor; *iid whtfn'they'caii ho longer infuse a narcotic 
to lull the seflltt^ they may lift up a rod of iron to appal or scourge 
us into passite Abedierice. When Mr. Hob a at is fulfilling the 
undentrapping TTfliees of Goyernment, .. and scudding from the 
Fleers to the Comihons, and from the Commons to the Peers, is 
there a being with the dallest scnee of ii^dcpcnclence who docs 
not view him with emotions of pity ? — The ludicrous assumption 
of superiority, on the score of rank, may pass oif without exciting 
any material emotion in the bosom of observers, when the indivi- 
dual who makes the self-supported claim, is unsuspected of the 
possession of amy tocritorious qualification : but when the object is 
dignified by merit, such vain pretensions can oiiJy be enforced to 
the diminution of the boaster— the infirm may wriggle through ex- 
istence, upheld by the crutches of artifice, without incurring cen- 
sure, and unaccompanied by scorn 1 but to the hcMithy and the ro- 
^arf, such extraneous supporters would operate as incumbrances. 
When the xUtutribot fuppy Ctonius called the immortal Ciceho 

a clown 



38 PIDICATIOH. 



a clown of Arpinam, there wai not a gencrons Roman wbo did 
not spit at the haughty Patrician in idea. 

The Suge, in this country, has been calumniated by a mean and 
▼He spirit of Pride ; yet, I will affirm with confidence, that in ray 
intercourse with the world I do not know where I coold look for " 
the exerciae of philanthn^y and liberality with a firmer hope thaa 
within the walls of our Metropoliun Theatres : and although I 
may have inaerted the names of Mrs* SiddonSf Mia Farren^ Mr* 
KmbU, Mr. P^pc, Mr, Fawcti^ &c. in a manner that may noc 
be precisely parallel with their scale of vanity (and vanity ia the 
common tenant of the human bosom), I entreat it may be underatood 
that I do not intend to convey the slightest suspicion of their honor 
or integrity.— There are Theatrical ladies who have hearts of beateft 
gold.— Need I mention the names of AbingtoHi Jordan^ M$rtyr% 
Bdlingtw^ or PotseUf-^l have been acquainted with Measra.. 
C^irrukt Barryt WoUwardt Edwittt Parsons, Ross, Digga^ and 
Ryder — and am with Messrs. Wroughton, Lewis, Holman^ La 
Lewes, IncUdon, Munden, Bernard, Davies, W. Towellt Cukitt, J9lm 
Ledger, and John Quick — and I should hesitate to exchange the. 
good opinion of such men for any others I have known, although 
inclusive of the highest orders of society : they are all honorable, 
and some of them scholars and fine gentlemen. M y criticisms 
upon scenic manners will assuredly find their proper level :— 4C 
they are absurd, they will be despised^f they are just and perspi* 
cuous, they will be esteemed. 

It may be perhaps unnecessary to inform you, that a daring lite- 
rary forgery has been recently committed by the Booksellers, under 
my Signature — ^and that the imposton presumed to use Me l i t a r a l 
Title of this Work, to deceive the Public, to traduce the worthy^ 
and acquire money under false pretences. My nam de guerre has 
been repeatedly assumed by other writers ; but none have had the 
tffrontery, until this insUnce occurred, to affect to forestal the very 
Publication I had prepared and advertised.— -That the measure it 
fraudulent, there can be no doubt ; and I will punish the perpetra- 
tors, if the Law is equal to the resistance of such an aggression. 

iMlum, JOHN WILLIAMS. 

fa. Mi, 1J9J. 



A 

PIN^BASKET- 

^ TO THE 

CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 



PART THE FOURTH. 



*«* D. L. signifies Drury-Laae, and C. G. Covent-Gardea. 



VV HEN Baxter departed, his posthumous page 
Involv*d, with much pomp, the Imt words of that sage; 
But as wondrous success crown'd those traits of his mind. 
They added STnd gave more last words to mankiud : 
E*en thus \i% with me, who, some winters ago, 
Survey'd Comedy's frolics and Tragedy's woe : 
And doing that deed, like an imbecile, vow'd 
1 'd excoriate no more their indefinite crowd : 
Yet as Folly, more fat, has again ta*en the fiel<J, 
I must brandish my quill and bid Sauciness yield. 

If Satire would speak in a general sense. 
How the Knave and'the Dolt will apply an pffence : 
If you laugh nine leagues off. Echo moiders the fool. 
The ridiculous think they engross ridicule I 
But to make their hearts easy, ik> object is real. 
And the schedule is e'en, like their merits, ideal I 

I belicv'd, as shut out from the globe and its noises, 
Its vices, and shall I say 'virtues and causes, 

B Ftotei 



30 A PIN-BASKET TO THE - 1 

I 

From its bustles^ its changelings^ and demons exempt, 
I ponder 'd and doz'd, and firom dozing I dreamt ; 
Yet, alas ! though I've oft seem'd to wake for subsistence, 
I have fears I *ve been dreaming all through my existence. 
In this troublous vision, from weakness overwrought, 
When the sentient principle gropM after thought ; 
When my brain was coUaps'd in my ponderous scull. 
And nothing was left of the man but the hull ; ' 
As the rigging of fancy and wit became furl'd* 
And lay independent of hope and the world ; 
Pestiferous Incvin leap'd on my breast, 
And tickled and tortur'd the God of my rest : 
Then I kick'd; and I groan'd, and I laugh *d, and I fretted, 
And deplor*d, and enjoy'd, and was chilly and sweated : 
Strove to run from the evil that fetter' d my powers. 
Yet, ah me ! could not budge from such bitters and sounl 
Not all that we^ve read in queer Wolfius or Formey^ 
Or MuN Burke, or his Nurscy intellectually stormy ; 
Or Sam. Johnson, or Glan ville, who generate phlegm, 
Macrobius, or Hartley ; but what of all them ? 
Then away with such dolts — I will come to the point ; 
A phenomenon scar'd me that shook every joint : 
I saw Covent Garden with sandals and sash on. 
And Old Drury, all swolh, like a ewe dress'd lamb 

fashion. 
Behind them came Phoebus, with eyes red and fiery, 
Insti£uting, with anger, a bill of inquiry, 
To know what those Beldams had done ^or four years ? 
The younger, at. length, having conquer'd her fears. 
Bid the Scions of either establishment come. 
And answer the roll at the head of the drum. 

The 



CHILDREN OF TUB8PIS, 31 

■f ■ '••* ■ • ■ ' ■ ' "" 

The demand had scarce issued when droves tumbled in> 

The lofty, the lowly, the squabby and thin. 

What a tumult then rote ! not the damju'd when theyVe 

gnashing 
Their teeth, or whole armies their bayonets clashing ; 
Not the boisterous Etonians whoi let out to dinner; 
Not the Irish when Ryan was hail'd as a winner ; 
Not the roaring of Chaos, when Order decreed, 
Jarrmg atoms should rise to meet natural need ; 
Not Billingsgate Belles, if unwittingly told. 
That Jtheir cod was not fre^, or their crabs were too old; 
Not Boarding-school Misses, when Officers pMs ; 
Not Hobsewives when mop- squeezers throw down a glass; 
Not Old Maids when the fellows declare they're past thirty ; 
Not De P y e when told that his breeches were dirty ; 

Not P Y * when charg*d eighteen-pence for his Teal, 

Could equal the din^^he mob mix'd emfamUU ; 

And each was call'd forth in a settled rotation. 

To pass and repass in the road of probation : 

As the herd, like recruits met at Chatham, all star'd. 

Thus the parties were nam'd — ^thus the Lady dedar'd! 

* It is a notorious truth, that Sir William P . ■ t not 
only keeps his servants on l>oard wages, but, what is very una^ 
countable, generally dines upon the same dish himself in the par* 
lour which they arc devouring in the kitchen : his method is to 
send down one shilling for a plate of meat of adequate worth ; and 
it would form an entertaining scene in a modern farce, to re-' 
present the bargaining and bickerings between the worthy Baro- 
net and' his cook, relative to the specific weight and 'Value of 
tlie food!— When it is recollected that this old Gentleman is one 
of the richest men in Europe, and not proverbial as unwise, is it 
not somtwhat amazing that his habits of penuriousness should 
lead him into situations so unbecoming both his state and charac- 
ter ? — When men are so inordinately hungry after wealth, it 
would be wonderful if they could have a due regard for their own 
honor. . ^ ■ 

B 2 '^'** 



^2 



A PIN-BASKET TO THE 



Mr, PHILLIMORE.—D. L. p 

What luminous monster is coming this way ? 1 

What light makes the hundred of Drury so gay ? *] 

All the fat 's in the fire — ^whcre, where are our papers ? 
It can't be a flame from e'en Barrett's best tapers ! 
Is't the Furies fell brand that so brightens and scorchesf 
Is't a bachelor's bur'ing whh m)Tiads of torches ? 
Is't an armydf glow-worms that press on my sight I 
Is it Guy Vaux in pickle, or bonfire night ? 
Not so gorgeous — so blazing — ^prodigious and grand^ . 
Was the Bun's natal beam when it gladden'd the land ! 
l%\ a flash from Hell's forge? — Have they op'd Pluto'f 

door? 
Some surely are burning DV^ temple once more ! 
.'T is the end of the world that the prophets foretold ; 
Many thought the Creation was wicked and old : 
The vast conflagration gets bigger and bigger, 
Now Yice will go naked, for nobody '11 rig her: i 

Oh, where is my manual I I hope it 's not lent I 
We have yet a few minutes will do to repent : 
Then, white-wash'd, we'll mount ih' empyreafl together, 
And live, through all space, in calm sunshiny weather: 
There we 'U see Davy Garrick ahdQuiN at one feast, 
And Shuter and Hoadley, but he was a Priest: 
Come drop on your knees, let us coax, if you're wise; 
I protest the effulgence has weaken'd my eyes I 
Some meteor has dropp'd from the skies I suppose ! 
Lord bless mej dear Sister, 'tis Ph 

Oh lustrous int r uder — ^indefi nfte youth. 
Thou terror of darkness, and champion 



skies I suppose ! ) 

iiLLiMORfi's nose! ! f \ 

youth, I 

ipion of truth, I 

^ PtNvlvee I 



CmLDKEN OF THESPIS. 33' 

\. . \ 

\ Pr'ythcc underwhat house was that blessing brought forth, 
^ The Bear, or Old Saturn, or guide dep'd the North : 
Thy omnipotent boltsprit 's the pride of our plains, 
'T is the aim of our nymphs — 'tis the envy of swains : 
How beauteous 't is studded with tubercles! look, 
'Neath its influence the purblind could study a book : 
*T is the grave of whole puncheons — it gulps what it wilb^ 
*Tis the banc of Excisemen — the ruin of stills : 
Hide D. Garrick's* Goblet from him and his lip. 
He must glut in his thought while his brethren sip : 

Should 

* Investment of Mr. Gajiilick. 

When this great Luminary of the Stage was determined to 
retire from the Theatre, it was proposed by the Committee be- 
longing to the Theatrical Fund to pay him some mark of respect 
as a tribute due to those great abilities which had raised and sup- 
ported an inttitution for the relief of Performers whose abi* 
fities were impaired by time, or a bed of sickness, or the chiUing 
hand of poTerty, and rendered objects of compassion . and at- 
tention. 

A meeting of the following Members, which com.posed the 
Committee, 



Robert Baddeley^ 
William Parsonb, 
Jambs Aickin, 
Richard Hurst, 
John Palmer, 
William Davie s, 



Thomas King, 
William Brerbton, 
John Moody, 
Francis Waldron, 
James Wriohtbn, 
John Packer, 
James Wm. Dodd, 

was held the latter end of the season of the year 1776, at the 
Globe Tavern, Fleet-street, when it was unanimously agreed to 
have a Gold Medallion, with a device relative to the subject, 
and an inscription on the back of it relating the many obligations 
the whole body of Actors felt for the friendship and patronage 
bestowed on the Fund by its Founder and Protector^D. Garrick, 
Esq. whose mdst admirable performances had raided a sum of' 
money as a support for those Performers, who, in their evening 
of life, must have been otherwise consigned to ^xlno^ -wA. wv^ ^ 
livsoD, - . _ 



34 A 'PIN-BASKET TO THE 

Should his proboscis once in its hollow be tomb*d, 
All its liquor would hiss^ and its sides be consum'd. 
Keep him out of Kew Gardens, for Royalty's sake: 
Should he fall in the water he'd dry up the lake, * 
Were he doom'd to be hung, which the Gods won't 

award. 
He would drop and scud off, did his nose touch the cord ! 
He befiours his visage to make it seem pale ; 
But its heat, in a second, incrusts all the meal : 

It was determined to have the abilities of the first Artists in 
the composition of the above tribute of respect. Sir Joshua 
Reynolds was applied to, who very readily gave a design:-^ 
The device — GarricK) habited as a Roman Actor ^ undraiving a 
eurtawy and dueovsring Nature emhracing her favourite child Shake* 

J^eare. Mr. Cipriani afterwards made a drawing in colours 
rom the above design, and it was executed in enamel by Mr. 
Ho^ES, of Fielet-street. llrthis state it was delivered to the 
Committee, and th« season closing it \>^as thought necessary to 
appoint a time for the Investment Mr. Garrick was informed 
by Iftter of ihe matter, and the day was fixed for completion. 

As the person who was to prefent it had not b<en named, it 
was agreed that the thirteen names of the Gentlemen of the Com- 
ttiiitce should be put in the Mulberiy Cup, which was carved from 
the tree planted by bhakespeare, at .'• tratford, and used by Mr. 
Garrick at the ]ubilee, and the first name drawn out should be 
the person :-the enviable office fell to the iot of Mr. Daviis, 
who had the Medallion delivered to him. 

"When the morning arrived for the ceremony to be enforced, 
the Committee assembled at the '1 heatre, and went in private 
carriages to Mr. Ciarrick's house in the Adelphi. W hen they 
were ushered into the drawing-room, where the British Hoscius 
waited their coming, the Geatlcmcn made a half circle, and \ir. 
Davies advanced, and, in a preparatory fpeech, addressed Mr, 
Garrick ; which being ended, he put the Medal round his neck 
and retired to his place. Mr. Garrick then expressed his feeiings 
on the occasion, and the sense he entertained of the very g*^at 
'mark of respect conferred on him by the Committee ; which was 
uttered in so e'egant and feeling a manner, as to affect every one' 
present. When the ceremony was over the Gentlemen dined 
with Mr. Garrick, and the evening concluded with the greatest 
harmony. 

/ Should 



CHILDREN OP THESPIS. 35 

j ^ " " ■ ■ ■ ■ ' . . . \ . 

Should he sleq) near your thunder, and lightning, play 
All your engines, upon him, and moiftten his clay : 
Some firemen mark where he drinks^ walks, or dodges ; 
Will or Sun. or the Phctntx insure where he lodges ? - 
Fell crackliivg volcanoes are up add down spread, 
Each spitting forth embers that fill me with dread : 
At its base are two craters would frighten Old Nick» 
Where the lava runs out in vast tides hot and thick : 
Thou 'It become the eighth wonder — ^the common surprise, 
Zounds, get me a rule, and I'll measure its size : 
What a length ! — what a breadth ! — give that pimple a 

plaster; , 

How majestic it pioneers through for its master : 
L.O, Cupid flits round it, triumphant, and sings . 
He would kiss it, -but fears it would singe both his wings. 
Who the dee'l thrust this loon and his nose to assail me ? - 
I'm all in a fidget and ftime ! — ^what can ail me ? 
My combustible jScnses infuriate invade. 
To steaH that -palladium which hallows a maid : 
Bring I-iCthean draughts — quench the thirst of my soul : 
Who can look at a treasure and wish not the whole ? 
Thou'rt a homme^de honne fortune — a lad of a dozen; 
I" vow, if I could, you shauld marry my cousin : 
• And if time had not laid me so long on the shelf. 
By the riiass, if you wotild, you should marry myself: 
You shall play'^what you list, brbut courteous and civil; 
Or Bardolph, Sir Toby^ Brainwarmy orlhe Devih 
Or young Atnmony if dignity meet thy desire, 
But take care you don't set the regalia on fire ! 
Lo, how proper the man, to enact varied parts, . 
From the pilferers of purees to stca\et^ Q^>aeax\A\ - | 



36' A FIN-BASKET TO THE 

He's a mitaclc- monger, like Curtis's shaver; 
He's in love with Renown, and by heaven he'll have her: 
Though he coiild what (le would, yet he never gives pain. 
And treats all the Muses with merry disdain : 
He 's a full-blown red cabbage — no sneaker — ^no fungus ; 
He '11 exorcise lean Care in the fumes of mundungus. 
See, he stands on his pegs and stalks through your abodes. 
Like the Godling who strides o'er the kennel at Rhodes ; 
Were some Caitiffs so gifted they'd kiU with a frown, 
Yet he 's gentle as Peace, who could fire a town : 
Sotne haLve thought him the issue of Luna in trouble. 
Who sent him to shine in the night as her double } 
While others believe he by Phoebus was knit ; 
But those who think thus are misled by his wit** 
Though the tip of his nasq seems burnt to a coke. 
There's no tyrant in buskins more fond of his joke : 
In Su/Ien his sulkiness fits him so vtrell. 
You would think no philanthropy in him could dwell ; 
Yet who 's more content with his up and down lot ? 
Yet who's more inclin'd to take — ^part of a pot ? 
Though the first stock-assassin, so mild is his will. 
That he murders poor Banquo with exquisite skill ; 
His expert coup-de-gract leaves no moment for sighing— 
Could all m^ be dain thus, who would grumble at dying ? 

Mr. JVHITFIELD.^Ji. L. 

Wtt o 's that who scarce owns what he 's been, a pro- 
ficient, 
So calm yet so manly—nso meek yet efficient; 
Whom a sense of what 's human impels to recede, 
Much more thaa a scbsc of aa error in deed : 



CHILDREN OF THESPI»» 37 

Who 's so elbow'd by all that 's obscene in the crowd. 
And who reddens to think that the best can be prond ? 
I can «ef it is Whitfield, who shrinks from the lighti 
And who faintly htis urg*d what 's admitted his right 1 
As he will not prefer his demand upon Fame, 
I will beckon him forth, and add strength to his claim* 

Inconsiderate wight, in hegiras like these, 
Cjin your hope, suggest aught that humility '11 please ? 
'T is ^n epoch of iron, *t is Presumption's reign. 
The dull-lesuii'd are all pompous, the witty are vain : 
Jlvery pedlar, h'ke merchants, - will boast of his ware, 
And rush on. with his trash in the midst of the fair : 
To confess what you are ne'er 'U sublime your meek lot j 
You must bully the worl^ to own — what you are not ! 
It is this puts the ass on . Celebrity's throne ; 
Yet this, alas! Worth cannot compass alone : 
Confederate blockheads attached are redoubted. 
As the rod creates dr^ad, though its twigs would be 

" scouted. 
There's Hayley, and DArwxn, and Cowper who's 

madder, 
Shoulder each other up the Parnassian ladder : 
What the deuce does this prove but obliquely to own. 
That neither have strength to ascend there alone ? 

Though his Soldier^ in Harry the Fifths is a treat, 
Thougji his Manly is bland, and Philotas is neat ; 
Yet what can he do in a state so enlarg'd» 
Whom Reason has circumscribed, foster'd, andcharg'd? 
When Jordan pouirs forth her mellifluous tones, 
Each coarse Deity in the top gallery groans; 

Sfeak 



38 A PIN-BASKET TO THB 

Speak outf or sfeai louder^ raves every row, 

And tpeak out is rchears'd in the regions below ! 

When the clocks denote eighty and they *rc viewing the 

stage. 
They see a6^ion from what appear mimes in a rage ;« 
But in two minutes after the sound greets the ceiling. 
Then they know they see Actors, who 're speaking and 

feeling : 
• Thus the flash of the mortar strikes quick on the sight. 
Ere the thunder moves onward creating affright ! 
In that pile, so o'er-built, though the fact seems absurd^ 
They must strut to be view'd, and must shout to be heard I 
Their curvettings, the mob from the upper tier sees. 
As Jove, through a doud, marks a congress of fleas : 
Some Players, as Gods, with our vulgar, would pass. 
Were the tubes of their throats, like their foreheads, all 

brass: 
And he 'd gain the wreath, though the dullest 'mong dull^ 
Who could bellow his speeches like Phalaris' bull : 
. Their plaudits, in peals, would all thundering rebound, 
While Wit hid his ethics from fury and sound ! 
Some aver modem Actors need brains! — 'tis all stuff; 
If they come without heads, and have lungs, 'tis enough: 
When Fawcet 's encor'd by a myriad of tongues. 
To what does he owe this vile clamour ? — His lungs ! 
When Palmer made Kemblb (competing) give way, 
Was it thought?— Was it grace? — No, Lungs y Lungs won 

the day: 
Yet they both possess merit, when held in due bounds ; 
Now, like solditts, each minute they Are nine rounds : 

Like 



t 



CHILDREN OP THBSFISr 39 

Like overcharg'd ord'nancc they force self-corrosion ; 
They hit not the mark, and are all an explosion ! 
Thus fetter' d, e'en Love muse not do what it could : 
Thus outrageousness mars what malignity would! 
Their madness seems folly — ^their reasoning seems flight/. 
And each creature 's on stilts, or the mean or the mighty ! 
Were Gar rick now breathing, as well thigh t he be 
On Sal'sbury plain as with you or with me : 
In vain would his eye mark the springs of his soul ! 
In vain would his due-manag'd periods roll ! 
In vain would he bisect and trisect emotions. 
In vain would his muscles illustrate his notions ! 
Except to some telescop'd few, who, from far. 
Would regard him, asHERscHEL dcvelopes a star ! 
No relievo in act could result from his powers I 
He must roar in -all parts — in all scenes * — ^at all hours ! 

Thus 

♦ The word Scene, in its original and proper signification, is 
taken for a covering of boughs made by art, from whence the 
feast of xht Jews was called Scenopegia ; and from thence too some 
people oi Arabia were called Scenites. Sometimes too it signi- 
fies a natural sh^de of some grotto, or solitary place. — So FirgU 
has it, 

TttW sylvis Scena coruscit 

JDesuper horrentique atrum nemus tmmirui umhra. 
But because the first Comedies, or rather buffooning, was under 
some green shade, the name of Scene was given to all places where 
Comedy was represented, and Tragedy too ; and when transferred 
into grea^ cities, it preserved the name of Scene, with that of 
Theatre, which signifies a place for spectacles. Sometimes it sig- 
nified the place of acting, as we say, to be upon the scene : and 
■Pliny has it, that Lucia, an old buffooning ivoman, recited upon tbt 
scene at the age of a hundred years. 

It is now meant to signify more immediately the decoration of 
the stage, or ornaments on painted canvass, which represent the 
place where the thing is acted : and according to the three kinds 
of dramatic poetry, FHruvius teaches how to make three sorts of 

sceneSv 



40 A PIN-BASKXT TO THE 



Thus the little great man would croak o'er his own stage, 
And appear to the herd as — a frog in a rage I 
Thus he 'd puff and he 'd pant, and each Muse would de- 
plore him, 
As S1DDON8 outl^awrd, and John Palmer. walk*d o'er ' 

him ! 
'Fore a youth as an Actor should now strfve t' enlist. 
He should practise like Boatswains, who hail in a mist : 
No tints intermediate can now be allow *d ! 
They must rave at the skies, and must whisper a crowd ! 
They should cork up their vocals, if none they would L\ck, 
As Eok gave Ulysses the Winds in a sack. 
We must nurture coarse beings of Barry more *& kind. 
Who can stalk without meaning and mouth without mind* 
As 't is size now must govern our laughter or tears. 
All our heroes should come from the guards grenadiers: 

scenes, or ■decorations of the stage, fit for Tragedy, Comedy, 
and Pastoral; and from this signification is derived the word 
J^rucenioH, orforcsccne, attributed by the Greeks to that part of 
the stage where the His/rhfu or Actors did both act and speak. 
At length its signification becaxhe so extended as to express at 
OQce the place where the players acted and that where the 
spectators were; and it is in this sense that the JurisconstQt 
I^aBeo defines the scene, according to Utt'ian. Sometimes it sig- 
nified all that pompous structure of buildings, galleries, walks. 
Scats, and other places where the Romafts used to represent their 
games. Many modern writers^ have confounded the proscenton 
with the decoration, arid that again with the whole building ; 
but the last and governing sense in which the word Scene has 
' been taken is, when \% signifies that part of an act which brings 
any change upon the stige by the change of actors. The Greeks 
ijever used it in this signification, though they Jiad the same 
distitfction of acts whicb-we have. The Latins first brought it 
into use. with the word Act in ne^v Comctly^ having abolished the 
i'borusses» 



Unless, 



CUfLOREW M T8EfPt6. *« 4i 



UnleSvS, as the doit at Berlla kd the way. 

We search Europe £or Giants, and keep them ia pay ; 

Enforce procreation by philtering all. 

And the issue suppress, who 're not seven feet tali / 

MADAM ST. AMJNDr-C. G. 
Behold a fugitive, from bleeding France, 
Wooing your plaudits in the mazy dance*; 

* Anecdote ^ J)iXr» Garrtek 9ind the Chinese Fesihal. 

At the time that this grand spectacle was in representation At 
][>rury Lane theatre, the audience one night begae to be ver^ 
clamorous, on account •of £(ireign dancers hejng employed in jpre- 
ference to their own : the tymult increased, and the house wa« 
in great danger of beiag pulled down.^^oMr. Oairidc, inrho wait 
behind the scen^ fieeiog such s. txtentfjodous appearance^ vk4, 
fearing that his property would be c^uite 'demolished, was in such 
a sute of despoadency, that he ^vaAdered up «nd down witbevt 
knowing what remedy ' to administer : Colonel West (of well* 
known memory) being also behind the scenes, and seeing 
Mr. Garrick so much distrtfised, ap|>U«d to him, as » Crtend* i*n4 
told him»if he wpuld give hkii permission, he lud a thought tha^ 
struck him, which would inevitably put an end to the confusion, 
Mr. Garridc, from the desperate s»(uatk>n jtbat matters were ]m^ 
was glad to seize the least chance that might tend to extricate 
him; and the Colonel's senrices were accepted — Ofi<which heoiadc 
his appearsAcefw ^ 9ta£« : the audience, se^iMg umanof his wctiv 
known character adjlressing them, grew silent — when he seized 
the opportunity of informing them, that he came on a treaityw 
A pause ensued for some time : — at last, two or three gentlcmqo 
Sn the pit, who had been attentive some time, asked the Colonel 
as to the nature of the treaty, and requested to know betweea 
whom it was to be 4istabliahed« The Colonel, turning his back 
to them, took up the skirts of his coat, and clapping nis handy 
as John Moody says, " ju6t there,"* replied, in a ioud toae o€ 
voice, " Between you and my ■ ■> ." Mr. Garrick, whp wa« 
attending with the utmost anxiety, thinking that the Colonel'f 
apology n;iight have a good effect, no sooner heard the cqarse 
reply, than he ran out of the theatre to his house in Southampton 
Street, where he then resided, in the grj^test trepidation. The 
mob, after doing very considerable damage to the theatre, pro» 
ceeded to his dwelling-house, where they demolished his win- 
dows ; and perhaps, had they met the owner, he might have 
felt the force of their resentment ; however, after this, the ex- 
traordinary business subsided, and the theatre went on as usual. 

c u 



\ 



t 

41« A FIN-BASKET TO THE 



In antic measure claim your gen'rous care— 
And who withholds his bqpnty from the &ir ? 
Scudding with terror from her native clime. 
Where Phrenzy stain'd the chronicle of Time ; 
Where radiant Hope (from Constancy beguil'd), 
As either Faction urg'd, or wept, or smil'd ; 
Now gave assurance to the glorious rage. 
Then call'd on Jove to stem an iron age : 
To this she gave a triumph — that her fears, 
Till Guilt's collision melted her in tears : 
Where Innovation, with a ruthless spite. 
Destroying Fraud, exterminated Right ; 
Consumed the code of Honor in their strife^ 
And smote those Charities which soften life, 
■She hurried her« to tranquillize her breast^ 
And gradual pant her system into rest : 
Xiike the chas'd 4oe, that's scap'd the hunter's dart. 
And in the haunts of Peace becalms her flurried heart. 

Sustain'd by Delicacy, Truth, and Ease, 
She looks, and charms, and trips upon the breeze : 
As Daphne blithe, of whom sweet Ovid sung — 
As Atalanta fleet — as Hebe young : 
SJums, like a perfum'd zephyr, on the wing. 
To solace vilets at the death of Spring. 
As Phoebus,, beaming on the' billows, plays. 
The lustrous movements cheat us as we gaze : 
Gentle in frolic — buoyant to the view — 
Correct in ecstasy — to Passion, true ; 
Love's chubby urchins round her sandals stray, 
And laugh and strew their roses in her way I 



Liki 



CMILDRKN OF THESPISi •*» 



Like the stream bursting from the mountain's height. 
She runs— *shc bounds — she generates delight : 
Communes her sentiment— exacts Surprise — 
Sjieaks in her mien, and sparkles as she flies. 
No flippant nymph Arcadians tenants knew, 
Despoil'd the herbage of its glistening dew, 
With half her gracc-^he breathes another May^ 
Agile as Air, arid jocund as the Day. 

When genial Sympathy impels the mind. 
Surveying Woe, to pity human kind ; 
And, acting from thiit impulse Pity gave. 
We cheer the sorrowing, and revere the brave ; 
How more than mortal nniinisters we seem I 
We catch the transports of the Patriarch's drcanv 
—Ah nevfer*may antipathies remove 
What social beings owe to social lovje ; 
Or chill the halloVd warmth that Good inspires^ 
Which Feeling kindles at Religion's fires. 

Mr. rOMS.—C. G. , 

When Chance draws a barn-door bred actor to towsr 
Who *s been beating the drum through each burgh up 

and down ; 
Who has swell'd the crack'd clariwi announcing the farc^ 
And distributed play-bills to charm away Care ; 
Who ask'd loud to be drawn on for scenic delight. 
But became a lame, hobbling, insolvent at night ; 
Who 's strutted and mouthM in a crown or a turban. 
Though as mere an old woman — as Joan or Pope Urban i 
Who has murder'd all meaning with infinite pains, 
And got a half candle and nine-peace as gaias \ 

C 2 ^N>aa''% 



44 Jk PIN-BASKET TO THB 



:nef ; 

■i 



Who 's 90journ'd in an alehouse onWit's ways and means ; 
"Who has rode in a cart, when fatlgu'd, with the scenei ; 
Cut the Drama's catastrophes o£F in the middle ; 
Who 's capered ^ndangoes without any fiddle ; 
And, like Barman dubbiets^ made Shakespkarb ; 

riddle ! 

Who 's retreated 'neath sheds, from the fiends of the law. 
Where a whole royal family snor'd upon straw ; 
Who 's pilfer'd ground brick- dust from kitchen d^dk'd 

tiles, 
To berouge his wan cheek to accord with forc'd smiles ; 
Who 's begg'd thread ta darn up bis torn hose fr^n K 

neighbour ; 
Who 's chalk'd shirt and cravat, to sare time and la^' 

hour ; 
Who 's rehears'd bloody Rhhard in groves 'nenth tli< 

skies. 
Till the brutes fled hk action-^ the songsters his cries ;«^ 
Save the owl, who with sympathy dwelt on each note. 
And the ass, who rcbrayM every yell of his throat; 
Who 's been haunted in dreams by stocks, beadles, and 

rods^ 
To whom butchers and bakers were sublunar Gods ; 
Who bow'd low to the louts of the district, for piUage, 
Who all hail'd the gross Midas of erery vlUage ; 
Whose benefit broth prot'd a Icnten annuity ; 
Whose belly, and head form'd a common vacuity : 
When such ate brought forward to tragedize here, 
They should undergo qvarantine ere they appear ; 
Be initiate in all the rare arts to net -mSi ; 
Learn to walk, tnd t» ^de, and to kd, and ^ spell : 

As 



CHILDRBN OP THS8PI9. 45 

As all ages and sexes^ and sorts and conditions, 
Are disgorg'd on this town as fxfor P£G spewa physi- 
cians! 
Behold callow Toms through Hie noisy bands break I 
Who call'd this ihgenuous youth to the stake ? 
Who allur'd him from Privacy's Cimmerian den ? 
Why are Managers thus ? sure our Monarchs are men I 
Are their documents lost, or old ^ecepts forgotten. 
That they hunt, but like gourmands in cheese, for what'$^ 

rotten ? 
From calm Reason's bright summit he*8 wondrouslj 

hied. 
But those who can't walk down a hill can ofl slide : 
Yet to be what he is he *11 not construe ofiRencc, 
So completely the mania can weaken the sense I 
When a Player's discomfiture mars his intent. 
Our younglings regret not the cawe, but th'^wii^^ 
How wondrously subtle or weak we are wrought^ 
When the essence of error gives hue to our thought ; 
- As the breaking a mirror or spilling the salt, 
Shall make us lament the effha^ not the faulu 
Such should wish themselves hidden, or dying, or dimm'dy 
Unless their mind's filth could be strain'd or be skimm'd ; 
Their knowledge of breathing should make theni uneasy. 
They should live but one montn, and that month should 
hcNesi\ 
In what cage he was caught, the Omnisqient knows ; 
But the caption was naught, and the captors his foes. 

• The ancicnf^Arabians in every third year intercalated a 
nonthi wbkh they called I^csi, or oblivion. 



^^r^?» 



46 A PIK-MlfK£T TO TUB 

Who could bd\me a twig to ensnare wkch a jay ? 
Wbo could mislead hia will ia his juTcnik day ? 
Pr'ythce let the youth go to some mercantile firiend, 
And iUuBtrate the day-book» and oeate to offcad ^ 
To act aught £rom himself it whait newtt eaa btf> 
He must be an adfttoct» he ie nothing /^r /#• 

i haiFC seen lum in i!!«m0o-— ah me, wh«t a sight ! - 
*T was cgregkms as MASRfeLVNi's aim» in the nightj 
Oy the Castiltan players indidng their hills* ; 
Or an M. D. presuming to cure all ills ; 
Or Jjondon's twoln Prstor when tearing his bustards | 
Or Deputy Bi&CH cramming Phoebus with custards ! ^ * 

As iiMny Wear chains when thetr watches are gone, 
So some seem to have heads, though in truth they tatre 

none : 
But when vanity's pttrpose is ooiy in view. 
The trinket and upper excreseence may do* 

How ini^ are our thoughts to those agents we seen! 
How we scud through a mazc-^how we ws^ in a dreafli! 
Hear the priest denounce sin to each parochial assj 
With a spirit of fury and visage of brass : 

• SPANISH THEATRE. 
^Pjl'ay-Bx l I. exbtbiUd at Sevi l l e in 1 762. 

To the Sovereign of Hcaten— to the Mother of the eternal 
Werid-wte the Po&r St«r of Spain— to the Comforter of all Sjiaia 
•—to the faithful Protectress of the Sp'bnish natioD - to the honor 
and glory of the most Holy Virgin Mary — for her benefit, and 
for the propagation of her Worship^the Company of Contetfana 
will this day give a representation of the comic Piece called 
Kanine. 

The celebrated Italian will also dance the Fandango, and the 
ThffdXn win tne superbly iUuminatcd. 

For 



CillLDBSN OF TSSSPIS. ^JT 

For the good of their souls adza tythe, bliss* and sous. 
And abuses Blaci Scratch who 's the firm of his house«. 
I«o ! the Arch-prelate thunders God's word to the mob^ 
There 's no heaven for him who has coin la his fob : 
Yet hav« not these varktd died ghitted with riches ^ 
One half SOBS of batchers, the rest— •obs of h— — s! 

Mm MfORRI8.—C. G. 

Soke oaaipotc&t wench ckaves and pcrfiunes the 

gale; 
like the van of a nai^ she glides in fuU sa^: 
Her silk streamer* curvet it, and waatioaly flow. 
And iEcdus wills but Favonius shall blow ! 
Let Monopoly shrink, and Want ccaae her reprosckci^ 
Lol Fanaoe's great baae, gentle Morris approsKhes ; 
Her port is transhooaaa, vast, comely, and grand. 
And the looks likea type of the fitt o'the land* 
She i» Plenty's first lumdroaid, Despair'a dreaded £eace; 
Like a peep at the pantry she shaipcM the aesse : 
Like Limerick*% rich v^ey, with bounties overflowing. 
She so teems, that she tacitly hopes you 'd be aowiiig : 
Like PHsrcmk she singly could fill op a throne ! 
Like an exclaiming note she's enough when akme! 
Her apt deeds, not her tongue, have enforced her pretow 

sioQs; 
tThere ^re tnufluis aad crunipets ia ^ her diaoeiisiom! 
She's divine, though m flKMtad tcuoe own'd meiitoriocif ; 
Aid her circnBttcnb'd asms bane sot ttvetch'd to be gldN 

rious. 



I 



4S A PIN-BASitET TO THE 

When a Queen, manteau'd gorgeous, she's prattling and 

duteous ; 
She advances, like Summer, kind, bright, rich, and' 

beauteous : 
Though, wherever she treads, she discomfits the bearing, 
And the boards crack around her — I hope they're not 

swearing. 
Her feats, like conundrums, or puzzles in wood. 
Though pleasant, by kerns are but ill understood ; 
She becalms the heart's tumults by nods of her head ; 
Her gaze is a meal for the poor, who 're half fed ; 
And she warms, in idea, like hues that are red. 
To clad her in rich velvets, they're surely mistaken. 
It is Might aiding Strength — it is buttering bacon !— 
At the tone of her voice victuallers lose half their vices. 
And meat, grains, and greens are reduc'd in their prices ; 
Showers foil at the sound, and refresh the parch'd earth. 
Which, engendering, yields immense crops at a birtli : 
Our droves and our fibcks, or at Romney or Lincoln, 
Become bulky in ways no philosopher 'd think on : 
Multivious fish crowd our bays from the sea. 
And beg you would take them to Billingsgate quay !— 
While she lives she 'U add weight to our primcst stock 

pieces; 
When she dies she'll be cut into firkins "and cheeses. 
As the Gods won't permit her in dust to remain, • 
So the worms may demand their post d^it in vain l 
Her imperial atoms would fret near m sinner % 
Thus if Death ghiu hk malice he shan't have a dinner \ 



At 



CHILDREN OF TH£SPIS* 4^ 

As an actress she's part8> yet with these she's ab« 

surd J 
She is solemn and stately as Juno's own bird; 
She 's too frozen^ too methodlz'dy stiffen'd^ and cold ; 
When her china is smash'd does the nymph ever scold ? 
When she trips. Cm fh/t/amg-pai unsettle her will ? 
When she splashes her hose, can she sigh and be still ? 
Though with every constituent particle bless'd. 
Were she moie energetic, ahc'd be more caress'd: 
Though the brick may be form'd by the clay and the 

spade. 
Yet unless it is heated it cannot be made : 
Zounds, get an impellent shall make her aspire-«- 
I but rate and goad thus to re-kindle her fire» 
As they thump and shake beds but to make them rise | 

higher. 

^Though SiDDONs gives passion a much wider scope^ 
We've no lady enunciates better than Pope ; 
But Time, envious Time, is unfeathering her wings, 
And she rapidly moujits> though in moulting she sings I 
As false Hope hails her on to each day's fatal feast, 
Thus grooms shew their oats but to bridle the beast. 
When we aak why the Judgment's best manors lie 

waste, 
We are told that the Administratrix wants taste! 
But adais ! what is taste ? — a disease of the mind. 
Though seductive, infirm — and though prais'd, vmdt* 

fln'dl 
*T is a whim— « mere •hadow-««-<i changeling-^a gleam-* 
Still it mocks what we would, like the bliss of a (keam« 

The 



■} 



50 A FIN-BASKET TO THK 



The most superb vest which next birth-day is worn 
Shall be twenty years hence but the point of our scorn * : 
Then our sons, in their turn, will create a new mode. 
Which their race, with an equal disgust, wiU explode I 

Mr, RUSSELL.^jy. L. 

When the drag-net is cast to bring food to our table. 
The purveyors catch the best fish they are able ; 
Yet oft, 'thwart the mesh, chance infixes a muscle. 
So, 'mong other odd fish. Master GnuB rais'd a Rus» 
sbll! 

Lachrymose, impuissant, pert, agile, and light. 
In Charles Surface he rusVd on the national sight ; 
But ah me, what a deed! 't was some impulse accurst 
Made him seize the wrong end of his duty at first r 
But some Players seek fame by a transverse conceit. 
As the Turks will crawl into their beds at their feet f 
His soul struggles hard to enforce what it knows. 
But his physical powers and knowledge are foes ; 
Like the blind, though he's led, he'll scarce trace 
where he goes ! 

• It may not be uninteresting to many of the frequenters of our 
Theatres to be informed, that the black wig which is commonly 
worn by the scenic murderer, in the Tragedy of Hamlet, at Co- 
▼ent-Garden Theatre, was formerly worn by King Charles II. 
who gave it to his Jester Killigrew for the service of his Theatre. 
The doublet, or jacket^ which Mr. Quick wears in Spado, was 
worn by James the Second; «nd the suit of scarlet and gold, 
which the same Comedian wears in JCitig Artbut*, in the Farce of 
Tom Thumb, was the splendid suit in which Lord Northamp- 
ton made his publie entry, as Anibassador from Great Britain, 
iato Venice. The suit of brown which is worn by Mr. Suett 
in the character of Foretigbt, in Love for Love, was made for the 
late Mrs. Wofpincton, who wore it in the character of Sir 
M0rryfViidair/ 



1 



CHILDREK OF THESPiS* dl 

His tones are as husky, nerve-grating, and harsh. 
As a file rasping knots, or lewd frogs in a marsh ; 
He never seems doing that thing which he wills, "J 

But eternally fighting his natural ills ; > 

Liike a pale hypochondriac, swallowing pills : 3 

He 's so marr'd in his organs, and crampt, and unblest, 
As he aims to be bhthe he appears most distrest ; 
Sure Malady 's fix'd a barrier in his pipe. 
Where some words are withheld when the sentiment's ripe; 
'^is a vocal embargo to give added trouble. 
Where the vowels pay singly the consonants double ; 
And ere they can come to the aid of his sense. 
We forget what he would, and his zeal proves offence* 
Though I *ve grinn'd when poor Dodd ap'd a youth* 
fill spruce beau, 
-With his kOderkin belly and napper of snow, 
«/Yet his exit firom life will prove me but a sot. 
As we know not to value what is till 't is not : 
I could run to his heay'd grassy grave and weep o^er it, 
iSwear my reas'ning was naught, and untrue, and de- 
plore it; , , ' , 
Fob and wheedle his Spirit by deeds and by sighs. 
And wash the green tomb with the streams of my eyes; 
0*er the funeral sod bend the ghbst-loving yew. 
To forefend Ruin's blast and suspend the chill dew : - 
' How unwisely men calculate, squabble, and quote ; 

He should value a jerkin that can't get a coat ; 
I He who cannot ^ulp wine should hail Whitbread's best 
' beer; 

. He should cherish a d(Mt who can't get a denier. 

I Why 



S2 A PIH-BA8KET TO IHB 



Why will they waste seed on so rtcrile a clod ? 
Why deck they a mammet and call it a God ? 
Why will they thus bai^n for pigs in a bag ? 
Why will they attempt to give chalk as alb. mag. f 
When oafs ^re thus bolster'd they irritate Fate, 
And, like ichor, denote a disease in the state : 
I 've a hope they mean well, nay, on pond'ring, I think itf 
Yet 't is piteous when knowing ale 's sour they'll drink tU 
Though a round of cas'd metal may pass as a crown« 
And be taken as current, for cash, in the town ; 
Cheat the faith of the monger, the huckster, and bakefi 
Yet the folly becomes more adverse to tiie maker ; 
Who, when dn^g'd from his den and tied up at Death's 

■ po8t» 
Finds, alas ! 't was himself he *d been cheating the most; 
And the fruit of his fraud, that so glibly had past, 
Is nail'd down on some varfct's grcas'd compter at last. 
Should a Manager teaze us, and turmoil, and plot| 
To make of his minion what Nature has not ; 
Our general Mother would spoil every feat, 
Induce a conviction and blandish the cheat I 
Extraneous bodies Caprice put in motion. 
To ride o'er the billows and dance on the ocean : 
Though they lord it superbly and tilt 'fore the gales, 
Yet the vik unaquatics can never be whaks : 
In a calm the intrusive incumbranee is borne, 
Oa a meek undulation, uncheck'd and untorn : 
But when the big waters by storms are convuls'd, 
Then supremely indignant the load is repuls'd r 
As finless and taMless, not pliant nor skill'd. 
It cannot or dive, or transverse, if it will'd ; 

But 



CfflLMlBK OF'TITBSPIB. 53 



But 18 dash'd up and down as the elements roar. 
Til] some high foamy wave shaken it off on the shore, 
Wl^ere it rots and decays, and it jocund no more I 



} 



Miss CHJPMAN.-^. G, \ 
WiT-H action innoxious and mien all obedience. 
My Chapman walks JForth the ally of expedience : 
This litional Lady 's content to be knowii 
As a sprig of the tree, not a prop of my throne : 
.Her dread makes her err, though her judgment don't 

will it. 
As in pouring out liquor your fear makes you spill it I. 
She has hung out no sign that might gull a weak huyer ; 
' She profess'd not too much, thus in act is no lyar : 
She's so humble her soul scarcely asks for a meed. 
Yet that lowly demeanor gives strength to her deed: 
As some giggling vain wretches, who can't speak or sing, 
Are like indiscreet gamblers at all in the ring : 
She plays at no game without knowing the rules ; 
She cons and recons, and offends not the schools : 
And though not highly vers'd in the critical letter, 
She would be what she's not, could her toil make her 

better. 
In those trim walking ladus whom Decency guides, 
She can steer her neat bark through IVobation's rough 

tides ; • 

Though her tones are too sorabrous for Fashion's Tagary, 
And she's somewhat too tall to be -flippant and airy ; 
Yet what is this fashion so lauded', so priz^. 
Is it FoUy emblason'd, or Greatness disguis'd I 



54 A FIN'^BASKRT TO* THE 

a ■ ' ■ ■ I.. ■■ ■! ■ . ■ . ■ 1 . ■ ■ S 

Mcthought I saw Fashion exult 'fore my mind. 
Half mad and half modest, half clad aqd half blind : 
liie inconstant Cameleon sat perch*d on her crest, 
And numbers, all Irepidate, hung round her vest ; 
Others stilck like burr'd weeds to the edge of her c 
As drov^ning men cling to the sides of stray boats : 
Some, like glittering icicles, froze to her gown. 
Till they felt Wit's hot beam, then resolv'd and dro 

down^ 
Some lick'd up the dribblings that fell from her flasl 
Those shut from her coach would leap into the bask 
The regal — the vassal— the sophist — ^the blind. 
In crowds, to immensity, follow'd behind* 
Not those Tolimies of tnoiw which descend in a heaj 
To impcruke the forests or melt in the. deep ; 
Or i^hitea the Andes, or mantle the vale, 
Were so close, multitudinous, pressing, or frail : 
Some ambled — some ran, and- some hobbling, ad^'d 
And some, worn by toil, the frail Syren implor'd: 
While the witch, like the prism. Deception assisted] 
And beam'd varied tiiits as she turn'd and she twistec 
Now white — ^now purpureal— now black and now bli 
Yet the throng knew the Nymph though she bandied 

hue; 
When sh^.yawft'd^ the mob yawnM, in an endless 

^tcessioii. 
More fittthful than Echa repeats the expression ; 
Or the flocks on bleat Tcmpe obey the bell'd brute ; 
Or the kine^of the Thraciana the Orphean lute : 



CHILDREN OF THE5P|^. . 59 

In gathering legions Aey buJEz'd roUnd htr&he, ; -i 
The inert, the adroit, the vindidive,' the taift: . • 

Thus confederate bee^ scud amain on the wing, 
To purloin the rich sweets from the blossoto of Spring.;: 
Thus they rush from their hires at the call of Anrorai \ 
To hum with ddigkt round the toilette of Flora ; - 
While Reason, poor Reason, was negligent left, 
With her tributes unpaid— of her symbols bereftj . 
Their gaze seem'd the acme of maddening surprise. 
As her vest flush'd its tints like the arch of the skies ;. 
Pertransient, weak. Zephyrs encircled her seat. 
And a ductile man-milliner crouch'd at her feet j 
The, five Orders disjointed upheld her light Jthrone, 
There wei e all, and yet none, a design of her own : 
Her eyes, like the Bithyacy darted a gleam 
Mbre fraught with fell magic than Sorcery's xireami^ 
So fatally potent they led to despair, > 

That Theology blush'd to be caught at her prayer ! *. 
With limitless power her sovereignty brightens. 
As her subjects exist in each clime Pho&bus lightens ; 
trom the wild where green serpents meandering stray. 
To the Hall where black Vipers on honest men prty^-' 
Now she glads Spital- fields with a gala in June, 
Now bids human- kind dance Td Infamy's tunc ; 
Now with hell-begot doubts pla^s Morality tricks. 
And wafts a vile crew o'er the billows of*Styx ; 
Gives Truth local habits to answer her ends^ 
And confesses both Folly and Falsehood her friends ; 
Crams her million with errors till all are diseased. 
Yet the more she *« absurd still the mdrc are they j^easM: 
D Z She 



56 t PIN-BASKET TO THTE' 



She hugg'd to tier bosom the fools of the laad^ 
And indicted her laws on a tablet of sand ; 
Then gave her cold sanetion to others by dozens* 
A»lugh4>looded Barons treat poor gnman-cousins : 
Yet as ViRTVB, kan> smockkss, and pallid, look'd ot. 
To see myiiads thus prostrate^ and Wisdom undone j 
And ponder'd how beings could thus be beguird. 
And sigh'd that such arts had such regions defil'd : 
A young Taylor rushed on, and usurping her charms. 
Carried her and her witcheries off in his arms I 

Ah where is my elegant Abingtom flown. 
Whom kingdoms upheld and each Muse made her own.^ 
She purified thought — she unfurl'd Honor's banners, 
She made tnith a system — she polish'd our manners. 
Thou exquisite nymph, join the Thespian crowd; 
Shall blithe Wit be o'erthrown by the vulgar and loud? 
Come, come frorh thy haunts— cheer the national mind> 
Andy like Paphiaf renerve the worn joys of mankind: 
Whatever thy aims, or wherever you be, 
Thott art dear to the realm— thou art valued by me : 
If bestowing thy coin on some object that's fainted— 
If^actiug those deeds which should make you thrice 

sainted ; 
Far remov'd from that envy which sigh'd as you roecj 
(For C^ar and Fran G is had greatness and foes) 
You *re the summit of merit— the bane of despair— -^ 
You've my ave and vale — my hope and my prayer ; 
Though Time's whitening rage 'mid thy ringlets ia 

seen, 
Thy QoUeness ever shall breathe in thy mien, 

Q£ 



CmLDREI^ 01? THfeSPlS. 5^7 

Of our Farrbns and Popes all the critical My, • 
Thns Abinoton did, and thus imitaite they: 
Yet 'each glares from her height, by the mob unsuspected^ 
Though, like moons, they both issue a light that's re^ 

iieaed! 
vAgile Echo is sad, whom you fed with your song y ■ 
Can aught, not celestial, envelope you long ? 
Thy luminous gleams will thy fastness betray. 
As e'en Erebus' self could not Tiide the bright Day : 
Then arise from thy slumbers — ^rehearse Phoebus' story^ 
For as Rafdelk drew Mary^ you walk with a glory. 

Mr. DAVENPORT.— C. G. 
Lo rubicund Davenport *s stalking alortg. 
Like a thoughtful Sileniis perusing his song ! , 
He seems hot and red, as vile Sirius, or any. 
And as angry as Boreas pent up in a cranny ; 
He looks fierce and perturbed in all that he saith,. 
Like ranc'rous Duign an defending — his faith ! . 
One believes he would growl were good Charlotti 

his^wife ! 
Gne thinks he would drive defolTigeants through h*fe! 
His pimple-clad visage seems reeking with rage. 
And his soul to writhe round, like the Turk in his cage ; ' 
Yet all this to his Locht* and Su!ky give force. 
As the steam of a furnace impels the mill's course. 

They 

• As the Beggar's Oprra is the more perfect of any in our 
language, and has caused so muuli disingenuous animadyersion 
apon its moral tendencies, and the direction of its satire, I should 
hold nsyself inexcusable in not making the following obser* 
vationi: , 

D 3 - V^^ 



$^ A PIN- BASKET T€> TAB 

They vrer that his modesty fills him with dread» 
And the fears of his heart shake the peace in his head ; 
!He associates evils to ootruo his blis8> 
And thus makes what may he give a pang to mfbat is\^ 

Peering 

JoBM Gay, hf Avthor, is reported to have been a man so 
f Ucid in hit dEuposition, that any promulgation of severity from 
Ahn is beliertd to have been caused by the deepest mortifications 
and conseqnant sorrow ; yet if tkis point is established, the autho- 
lity of the Satirist will bc^ weakened, as those shosld not receive 
unlimited credit for the declarations of anger who have suffered 
more in their vanity than their virtue. 

It has been urged that this piece manifestly operates to vitiate 
aociety, by making a lawless depredator appear gallant, if not 
amiable in his action, and that the inducements to commit wrong 
are strenethened by the force and influence of such an example as 
MacbtaS: though I am not disposed to resist such a sentiment 
altogether, 1 wiU n^t subscribe to the full tenor of its meaoinj^, 
•o^ particularly as I have had reason to think that the first public . 
4enttnciations agiainst this pedbrmance issued from a late Magis- 
trate, who was suspected to have been less actuated by a princi- 
ple oIF good'^than ostentation. 

When we consider the numerous shafts of ridicule that are di- 
rected against the evils of local establishments, and the xxifinni>- 
' ties and impositions of their members in this Drama, we should 
not be amazed at the fastidious cavillings- of those who labouf to 
make an assumed regard for the morality of mankind, cover their 
envn soreness and resentment ; and those perhaps inveigh most 
Ipvdly against its ptesumed violation of the elements of social rec- 
titude, who are, in their own agency, the more fallacious and 
vulnerable. 

Some Critics have affirmed, that in this play the good can de- 
rive no encouragement of virtue, and the bad no discouragement 
of vice % but to support this harsh and heavy charge in any degree, 
they mutt considcx the piece as it now stands, with all the cur- 
tailments of modem Managers and modern i\ctors, and not regard 
thi^ qualifying int«rr.vie,w between the Beggar and Player at the 
end of the Opera, which was clearly and judiciously introduced 
Sp reconcile tg the Auditor that seeming absurdity of bringing 
^e hero back to his wives in triumph, and thereby defeating the 
required purposes of national justice. In this scene the Audience 
- ire taught to believe, by the Btggat, that the other periionages 
of the I>rama were all destined to be hanged or transported^ 
^ which^iaasmrcdiy a i»u that must encourage the good' in the 

furtherance 



CRILDREfil OF TBE8P19« 3Q 

#■ - ■ = 

Peering into Fate's womb for an immature blow. 

As they say tbe dffcAs tremble to sec the pesu grow ! • 

May Heaven forbid, for his sake and our own, 
lie should sleep where the food for artillery 's thrown : 

Of 

furtherance of virtue, and deter the bad from the embraces of 
vice : and what can these squeamish moral>^t8 demand beyond 
this, except it is their desire there should be an apparent public 
execution on the stage of the whole group, and thereby glut their 
savage fidly at the expence of British taste and scenic propriety ? 

It has alM> been insisted upon by the indiscriminating opponents 
to this play, that the Author designed it as a palpable vehicle 
to convey his spleen and resentment i^gainst the leadine person- 
ages of me Court, whose several characters he is asserted to have 
pourtrayed in an assethblage of highwaymen, and villains of a 
meaner description ; but assuredly such a remark does not sustain 
the honor of the parties alluded to, as that individual cannot be 
held as proverbial for the delicacy and integrity of his demeanor 
who c«td<i be personally traced and recoemzed in the coarse 
manners and licendous expressions by whi^ all the male cha- 
racters in this Opera are distinguished ; and I believe that few 
Statesmen would feel themselves indebted to that source £f*om 
whence such unprofitable observations could issue. 

The songs or airs in this piece possess an unconmion portion 
of merit, and I am equally led to admire the tendency of the 
sentiments they involve; and the tunes, which are the vehicles 
of those sentiments, as ^ey both appertain to the characters to 
whom they are allotted, and forcibly illustrate the imperfections 
of society : considered as morsels of lyric poetry, several should 
be admired for their simplicity, which i»mdeed the tmb cha- 
racteristic of beauty in evpry province of nature and art. 

Whatever may be the di^osition of those cavillers who would 
have it understood that the Drama is hostile to the purposes of 
piety, I will insist that many of the ballads in diis piece inculcate 
morality in the highest degree ; and none but the sotn* bigot, or 
persons intelkctuaUy weakened by the forious oratory of nncha- 
riubie sectaries, and dmse who are directly imerested in the mo* 
nopoly of moral instmetion, will deny the assertion. We cannot 
reasonably object to an amendment of our manners, because the 
B^edium of that reformation originated in a didactic song, or 
within the walls of a Theatre. Who can contradict the idea 
that morality and mirth may be rendered necessary to each oth^r, 
or that som^ songs may not be as purely ethical as some sermons ? 
Mental physki as well as that sidministered to the t^^ ^ tca.^ t^<^ 



60 A PIN-BA9KET TO THB 



Or ramble to Dartford, Purfleet, or the Tower, 
Pr the Park-magazine, if not during a shower ; - 
Lest a stud of -his Naso should fire a grain> 
And the earth be convulsM and whole myriads slaiii,.- 

Yct in sjnte of that rigour his mien will impart. 
The milk is uncurdled that flows through his heart : 
He is n<^ a churl, though his habits are such ; 
He would do a kind deed and not think he*d done much: 
Notwithstairding his frame *s so coarse hewn and terrific. 
Every nerve in his bosom's 'gainst ill a specific! 

be the less effectual for being mingled with somewhat that is im- 
mediately gratifying to the senses ; and it is unquestionably better 
even to be seduced into a state of health and prc^iety, than re- 
main diseased and erroneous. 

Having thus ventured to extenuate the presumed immoralities 
of this popular Drama, and to draw the fangs of prejudice from 
the general mind, I shall conclude by expressing my hope, that 
an exertion of genius so brilliant and so amusing maf not be pro- 
ductive of those disadvantages to society which are occasionally 
attributed to its representation ; and that every class of society 
may behold the combined movements of open guilt and acknow- 
ledged punishment, without indulging the ruinous and partial 
propensity to imitate what is atrocious, and remain unmindful of 
that remorse and horrid responsibility which is the necessary re- 
sult of a departure in action from the laws of heaven and man. 

The primary intention of the Author was to ridicule Italian 
Oper^, which were so prevalent in his time, and so ruinous to 
the interests of the British Drama. About the year 1749 a 
Frenchman translated it into the French tongue, and accommo- 
dated the sense of the airs in French to the old tunes : it was 
performed at the Little Theatre in the Hay-market at that period, 
and 1 am informed that nothing could be more ludicrous than the 
representation The Translator had vainly attempted to introduce 
it on the Paris Theatres previous to its performance in London. 

The formation of this Opera, it is said, was derived from a 
hint by' Swift, to whom more wit and merit is assigned than 1 
think is legally his due, and consequently I do not give entire 
credit to the supposition. Mr. Pops, it is more pxobable, assisted 
him by writing several of the airs ; but be that as it may, it can- 
not be denied to possess an unconmion portion of acumen and 
wholesome satire, and will ever be adinircd while candour wr 
perception has any influence among us. ' 



CHILDRBN OP TRESPIS, 6l 

^ t 

He who breathes on this globe and forgets he's a bro*' 

ither. 
Should be damn'd in this world) . and thrice damn'd io the 

other: 
Yet who sneakingly steals, with a prayer in his mouth,. 
Shall be safe, though he'd robb'd from the North to the 

South: 
While he, who by hairowiAg Necessity stung. 
Takes a parse like a man, shall be tortur 'd and hung ! ' 
The first, vile Priests tell u^ shall sing with hit God— 
The last be eternally ilay'd with hell's rod. 

Mrs, GIBBS.'--J>. L. 

As the sairage on Oyapz's banks wastes the day 
In making the bird of his prejudice gay. 
By ingrafting rich plumage which Nature disowns. 
And shutting his ears Ux its, dissonant tones ; 
Thus, egregious, the Lords of ouf Theatres plot,. 
To shew their pert parrots for what they are not ; 
And knowing their powers are coarse and confin'd* 
Make their dress an apology oft for the mind. 

Beaming loveliness round her, sweet Gibbs stands m- 
mix'd 
'Mong the nymphs of Old Drury, with envy transfix'd : 
Yet that passion 's not rous'd by her art or its uses, . 
'T is her face and its attributes jaundice their juices. 
When, in acting, she seems not fulfilling hex duty. 
But sc^acing jnen with the blaze of her beauty, 
Her voice is too fine-drawn her wishes to bless, 
She 's too much of the tone de la fetUe miutresit : 



6% A P1N-BASI»T TQ THB 

It never can answer what judgment *8 decreedt 
As she laughs loo restricted, and scolds through a reed ! 
X.ike jeweller's gold she's but half what she ought : 
She appears in her system too playful for thought : 
Yet her prettio^^ss urges so much for her deed, 
I scarce think I could make e*en her vanity bleed. 
Would she wish, as a SouBrette, to wriggle and prate. 
Let her study Miss Pope, that gnituifag sf the state : 
'T is not ambling, and lisping, and coaxing, and jigging, 
Nor the blazoning display of a pea-htnnisk rigging, ^ 
^Wiil answer tlie purpose— imless her frail mind 
To the caption of dulness and dolts is con£n*d : 
If *t is thus, let her go spread her net and catch flies, 
I 've no laws but for those who've a wish to be wise* 
'She 's so fidgetty, sideling, and full of stage sleight. 
One imagine she wishes to be out of sight :. 
Like the pendulum's motion, each jerk gets a brother^ 
And th* extreme of ollc act works th' extreme of another: 
She 's eternally swinging, and soothing, and smiliiig. 
Like spoiled children when old stupid grannie 's beguiling: 
Yet in either loose instance Wit pardons th'assapdh. 
As we feel but half willing to notice the ftuilt. 
Like, a mellow Bacchante she emanates fire ; 
Like an antic Egyptian she maddens desire ! 
And though uninspirM herself, can inspire ! 
She ensnares us by wiles, and those wiles are repeated. 
Till the brain 's all combustion, and blood 's overheated. 
What is graceful in her, would in some prove distortive ;. 
What is healthful from her, would frooi some provie 
abortivCi, 

.^ She. 



1 



; ■ dHILDBSN OP THB8?I8. 03 

■■•■■.■ai.j s ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ .; 

She requiriesiior cars'nety nor cestuB, nor toy. 

And die tat sfcc 's encumber'd the stronger 's our joy : 

For she'carrtcs some amulet wove in her frame; 

But if vulgar, or wondroua, or blest, like that same 

Which If nma|)ity's mother dcriv'd fTX)m high heaven 

Ere the Dj'el had polluted the gem with base leaVen : 

If hieroglyphif , or talisman rare. 

Or aught where old Faustus could steal in 'gainst care : 

Or if blissful or baneful, coarse-fashion 'd or smugly. 

Or Memjphiaa idol men worship though ugly : 

In whaCasp^ or tint, . or if fell or divine. 

Or if obloBg or spheric, I cannot define ; 

But some charm highly potent is carried about her. 

That suspendft the whirl'd laah, and we would but can't 

flout her. 
. Your junior] novitiate who scuds to the stage. 
To uiiravel her worth, and bephilter the age, 
Shduld-be, in idca» a creature -more vast. 
TkaA ever had being, as present or past. 
H^r breast sfaodd distend, as if &te had defied her. 
And be* alwa^ et^amme and each hour wider ; c 
And round create round, like the maze of a spider : 
She should thijik herself bom to contend against odds ; 
She should fir^ ravish mortals, and then besiege gods ; 
The fuel of Qenius should warm all her frame» 
And each fibre tell t' other we thrill but for Fame j 
While Nature^ to compass the Judgment's desires. 
Should sit likd a chymist, and temper her fires, . 
' I'ill the rage o \ the well-manag'd conflict was o'er, 
And the issue pvaa ta'en to Celebrity's store : 

When 



1 



64 >. A nW-«jlSRST TO TH&. 



When the metal '8 high priz'd, and it's cuirency stampt, 
Then 't will want to be neither new grikkd or ▼ampt> 

It would seem^ so unequal are some to their station^ 
That God had half-finish'd their organization* 
That your nenres may obey but the impulse that's true» 
I 'U inoculate all your anatomy through ; 
Then firmly hereafter you 'llrsit at your ease^ 
By ^tablishing health through the mean of disease : 
Yet to mark what is true, or to publish that test 
Would the Stagyrite pose, did the Greek do his best* 

Oh! beauteous, calamitous^ luminous Truth, 
lliou bulwark of science, thou pride of my yout)i» 
Thou bane of my Fortune, by Ignorance hurl'd. 
Where, where wilt thou hide from a pestilent worid f 
Artificial Society mars thee with blows, 
And the Law and the Prophets are equal thy foes. 
Thou'rt a pest more abhorr'd than Tartarean streams ! 
Thou *rt more fell and corrosive than Malady's dreams t 
At the Court— in the City — ^the Bar— or the Stage — •% 
Thou 'rt repell'd as malignant to youth and to age ! > 
Thou 'ft so deep, none thy bottom will venture to gauge I ) 
"Etch soph and each monk makes you vile in his thesis I 
Could your mirror be shiver'd they 'd smash it in pieces ! 
Every insult 's cc^lccted to mark your drsgrfu:e. 
And lungs heave in myriads to spit in your face ! 
Thoii/rt-consign'd to gaunt Famine, the Bard and his 

Mttse! 
Thou 'rt scouted in Journals, Debates, and Reviews ! 
Each censor with base impositions would tax thee. 
In the semblance of food they mix drugs to relax thee : 

Jntr 



CHILDREN OF THB8PI8. 05 

Aristarcbi all toil but to make thy heart sickt 

From the D. P/s adown to one Griffiths clep'dDiCK! 

None willlend thee a kerchief to sponge up ^hy tears ! 

Thou must deep on a bulk could you live many years I 

By thee I 've been urg'd to the threshold of life ; 

To th' assassin's red dirk and the eves-dropper's knife i , 

Each trader thy statutes has scorn'd or forgot, 

Who vends nought for what 'tis, but' for what It is not! 

Cease to analyse Pills or Hypocrisy's arts. 

Or they 11 pierce thy fair frame, like Sebait'tan's^ with darts. 

Meet the tenor of life, be no longer sinceie, 

As they *re most unblest who have visions too clear : 

Thy influence leads but to prisons and pains, 

Lo ! thy purest disciples are writhing in chains ! 

To be true's to be monstrous— be false, and thpu'rt 

rais'd — 
Be a man, and thou 'rt smote — be a rascal, thou *rt prais'd* 
Thou 'rt arrang'd as more fatal than Sorcery's rings. 
Thou 'rt the gorgon, the terror of women and kings : 
All the privileg'd orders would foaming dethrone thee, • 
E'en celestial Philosophy trembles to own thee. 
All the claimants on Fate are disguising their claims. 
Human kind is not fitted to thee or thy aims : 
'T is the test, not the guilt, marks the woe of the time. 
Though a theft 's but an error, to prove it 's a crime. 
Who affirms black is black, and that white is but white, 
Must soon regret deeply he e'er had a sight. 
As thy inmates are beggars, how can you pursue - 
A system so dreadful to them and to you ? 
Ambiguity's turning you round like a vane. 
Breathing smoke in your optics, and fevering your braxxN.^ 
E ^x^-^^ 



66 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

Preach no more, silly minx, be your ballads unsung. 
For you *re evermore scoff'd, though eternally young. 
Two principles now sdl thy influence smother — 
To be gallant is one- — ^to be loyal the other . 
To accomplish the Jtrst you must hide all your eyes ; 
To be apt at the seconJf give plaudits for sighs. 
Oh heaven and earth! that a being should be 
Thus compelled not to think, nor to hear, nor to sec ; 
Owe his peace and his pence to th' exclusion of light. 
And doze on in a foul intellectual night ! 
' Go thou intrusive wench— thou impertinent gipsy— ^ 
Seek the Gothic carousal — be blest and be tipsy ; 
Annoy not the tyrant, the priest, or the knave, 
Mull a dram with thy dogmas — ^be rich and a slave. 
Pr'y thee get thee a smock, hide thy naked offence. 
Be painted, be titled, and transverse each sense : 
When Credulity hungers, let Folly go sate her, 
ffcu ! qui vult decifi, decifiatut! 

Mr. HALPEN. 

Whbn we viev/, at the Horse-Guards, a drab shaving 
men. 
Or hear of the Irelands wielding a pen, 
We feel all transfix'd with the tone of surprise. 
And ask if we are, and nib up the mind's eyes : 
We imagine oiir system is twisted 'from right. 
And we doubt of the fact, and we question our sight ; 
But regarding stich Players we cease to deplore. 
As every month wiH engrender a score. 
Some, beholding him, thought he exhibited dread. 
And, like Orrll the Conjurer, sought his own' head I 

. ■'■ .'•..•..,■.■.-•.:■.■,.■:■•... -..j^ 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. ^ 6? 

Look around where we will, we see pigmies on stilts. 
Large sculls without brains, and long swords without 

hihs: 
All note tlieir vindictiveness^ weakness, and pride. 
Though the organ of agency each is denied : 
Thus they frown, hem, and bluster ta all they can meet, . 
Till tlieir isouls are worn down like the stones in Thames* 

«trcet! 
. *Tis my stars, not my will, makes me seem over-nice. 
For wtio 'd live a mere owl as'^the tyrant of mice ? 
. How mjmkind can be thus is amazing to me ! 
Who^d alone walk abroad, who's no power to sec ? 
To exist and not noi)ly,*s to be demi- curst ; 
' it ^gjpiified'hcart *mid^ dishonor would burst., . > ,t. . 
Thottgh thfcy*ve seiz'd the last joy in life's goblet^ and 

pranVitt . ,. , . •. .. . 

' None call on Oblirion to bring her thick blanket! 
But niggle, and mumble, and suffer, and think, 
KjA go out of the world, like a snu£F, in a stink ! 

Lo! the Suns of our Drama diurnal go down, ' 
,Yet in East nor in .West will re-rise on the Town ! 
While our theatric flocka have no powers of siglit. 
And but sleep, browse, and bleat i^ the absence of light ; 
See, the best of their Shepherds, OldMACKLiN *,'8 be- 

reav'd. 
Yet he's grand in decay, like bold oaks when unleav'd. 

•When 

* Anecdotu of Mr, Macklin the CoMBDXAN. 

When Macklih first began his Theatrical career in Lon^ 
don, he seldom was entrHsted with a Character of an^ tL<c^\A.^ Vc^ 
ahilitici not being known ^ but if c^vej xYiw^niiamvi ^«x ^'^^ ^'^- 



68 A PIN-BASKRT TO TH» 



When fcrg Merit is crush'd all the Noble are harrow'd ; 
WKen our blisses are smote our existence is narrow'd | 
All the minstiels are mute — the fawns cease to be gay. 
And sad Phoebus for^^cts he 's ' o marshal the day. 

appointment from the illness of a Performer, he was the person 
generally pitched upon to go on the Forlorn Hope. It happened, 
during the run of Wycherlcy's Plain Dealer, that the person who 
was to have been the Jerry Mlatkacre of the evening was takfil^ 
extremely ill. There were no means of acting the Play but by an 
application to Macklin to personate the Character, which he rea- 
dily undertook. But on his entering the Green Room in the 
drefis where Jerry has put en the red breeches, ^in (who played 
the Plain Dealer) accosted him in a very rude style, which was 
not unusual with him, and reprobated the red breeches. Mack- 
lin urged the propriety of it, from his observations of the dresi 
always worn m the Character — when Quin, who was tucking an 
orange, threw it, and hit Macklin in the face. As the stoat 
Hibernian was ever impatient of insult, a violent scuffle ensued 
before several noble Personages who were then in the Green 
Room, the Duke of Hamilton^ \*fc. as it was then the custena. of 
admitting Noblemen in .the Green Room. Macklin was even- 
tually^ victorious, and Quin was obliged to keep his room some 
time in consequence of the drubbing:. When he had recovered, 
instead of being an enemy to Macklin, he evinced' the great.est 
magnanimity by sending a letter to his adversary, in which 
he confessed he had been very much in the wrong; and he 
proved that he was sincere by his future deportment towards him : 
he was, ever after that event, most assiduous in serving him. — 
Indeed Macklin, in a great measure, owed his future success in 
Theatrical Life to this event, and the undeviating friendship of 
Quin. 

Anecdote of Mr . M A c k LI n *s Shyioci. 

This Character had been represented, previous to his assump- 
tion of it, by a low Comedian ; consequently buffopery and gri- 
mace were introduced, which by no means was the intent of the 
Author. 

When Macklin had acquired some estimation with the PiihKc, 
he was persuaded to play Shylock.— He consented with some re- 
luctance ; but considering the Character in a different light to all 
his predecessors in it, he was aware of the critical objections that 
would be made on his presuming to deviate from long- established 
custom. , 

When 

/ 



CRlLDltBN OF THE5PI8. 69 



LiO, tl|e Muse demands Hope to envelope her fears ! 
1.0, Mater Orfhet 's bedew'd with her tears !. 
The Nine fly their symbols, and droop^ and deplore^ 
That STQ&ACBythe gentle Storace^'suo more* 

Brigirt: 

When the Nrght airived for. kw iserfomuBg It, the House WM 
very full, ai^d a fbrmidabk-band of Cmics were assembled in the 
Pit. — The first and second Acts went off very coolly, without 
the least applause ; nor- did the Audience know how to rolish the 
Character once so comic, now so s^ous. . But in the Scene with 
Anthonio and the Gaoler, their feelings were raised as by an elec- 
tric bhockj^the most powerfbl plaudits filled the Theatre, and 
continued to the dropping of the curtain. The Play was after- 
wards given out and performed many nights to crowded An- 
dteac^ aiid theimne of Macklia in the cmuracter was fuUy esta- 
blished. This event formed the basis of his future celebrity. 

Mackl1n*8 Neto Comedy. 

A few- years since I. attended him, hy his pardcuiar deshv, it 
his apartments in Tavistock-row, Covent- Garden, wheri I met 
Dr. Brockl£sbt and Mr. Courtnay, to hear him read a MS. 
Cdmedy, which I had previously understood was written by him* 
self; but the old Gentleman so interlarded the narrative with, 
annotations, that the reading of the first three Acts took up more 
than three hours. As my patience became exhausted, I' seized 
upon a discovery that 1 had made, to cut the business short, and 
candidly told the veteran, that the Piece which he haA; 
Veen reading wa^ neither more nor less than a copy, and that 
nearly literal, of Diderot^s celebrated P^ere de FatnilU^ which I 
had seen admirably represented on the Theatre Frantau in Paris,, 
and. which had been previously gutted .of its most interesting in-^ . 
cidents to decorate Miss Lee's Comedy of the Chapter of Acei" 
imts /— rThis observation struck Mr. M&dclin with such asto&ishi* 
ment, that I vsras convinced he had been imposed upon by some 
person who had rendered it into English, atid ^rven it to hhn t<i- 
work upon,, as it did not appear to me that he knew the Frtn^h 
language, which in truth is not necessary with modem Dramatists,. 
who, generally speaking, have no knowledge at all ; and as their 
ignorance makes them more obedient, they are assuredly more ac- 
ceptable! 

This venerable Histrron'is now m His ninety-eighth y^ar^ , 
and is a constant visitor at the Theatres, wnenevcr » hew Piece oir 
a new Pcrfonncr are brought forward. Ht ^aswX^i vx^ vb. ^^ 
E s ^"^"^ 



70 A PIW-BASKET TO THE 



Bright' Fancy, who teem'd with all Harmony's force, 

Scuds aghast and astound, like a stream from its course ; 

Teaw up the green sod till she faints as o'ertoil'd. 

And in shrieks and in scream? calls on Fate for her child ! 

Not the liberal Shields, with all good in alliance — 

Not the classical Arnold, that inmate of Science— 

Not Parsons, who flatters imperial mobs— 

Not Carter who thinks, or sly Hooke who ne'er robs— 

Not DiBDiN, so fraught with Vulgarity's wiles, 

Who of all Mummery's saints, thinks the most of old Giles ! 

Could relieve him on guard— could accomplish his statioui 

Or equal his taste in supreme adaptation ! 

Let CoBBE, Rose, and Birch, all the Bellmen, and 

HoARE, 

• In one dismal accordance of agony roar. 
Hie and snivel, and sob, and go kneel round his tomb. 
For their Saviour's incas'd in Eternity's womb. 
How he dizen'd those crack'd wooden dolls for your 

shops ! 
How he trimm'd tatter'd jackets, which sold as good slops \ 
How he made their harsh accents as fmooth as if Tuscan ! 
How deck'd Loughboro' jugs, which -^vere class'd as 

Etruscan ! 
How he sought a void dolt, and cramm'd harmony in him! 
How he sav'd gasping bardlings from death with a minimi 
How Fame, somewhat tipsy, gave strength to their labor. 
Till, like Esauy they stole what belong'd to a neighbour I 

Then 

first row in the Pit. So uniformly will the Spirit hover round 
that spot where the Body flourished ! — His recollection is consi- 
derably impaired, but he is, in every other respect, in good health, 
, «iid vigorous eve^ to a proverbJ 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 71 

Then danc'd through the urb, surreptitiously gay, 

Like Indians when craz'd, or young sweepers in May : 

Some made tht fas teul^ like old ganders self-pleas'd ; 

Others stuck in the mud, and got filth and diseas'd ! 

How he propp'd those lame witlings, and cured their rick- 
ets! 

How he held them, when hunger'd, to Charity's wickets ! 

How he charm'd thaj base monster — the Town — for 
their sakes! 

How he smother'd Contempt — h6w he perfum'd a Jakes ! 

Miss MILLER.^T>. L. 

Lo ! a transcendant nymph usurps the sight, 
Replete with grace, and pregnant with delight. 
Thus smird Astarte issuing from the sea, "* 

Rapture's sweet queen — the intimate of Glee !— 
Thus look'd Briseis when Achilles sigh'd — 
Thus beam'd ineffably the Spartan bride! 

Some dedicate her as divine, 
Elate their hearts are caught ; 

Her radiance justifies their love. 
Her principle their thought ! 
Her smile arrests the circum^bient wind ! 
She forms a point to agitate mankind ! 
Embattled nations might demand the prize. 
And seek a triumph subject to her eyes! 
E'en hoary Winter so supremely glows, 
His ardour liquifies his snows ; 
And Rhodope and Caucasus assume 
Arcadian vigour and a vernal bloom. 



72 k PIN-BA8KBT TO THS. 

jBring me the Phrygian lute— I '11 sing her praise-— 

Trtiough the bright theme 's superior to my bys : 

Perturbed Glory urges me to try ; 

Who nobly dares can't ignonnnious die !— 

Could Jove survey her, flush'd in virgin pnde» 

Fresh as the Spring, and liberal as the tide. 

He 'd spurn Empyrean and its mean delights, 

Burst tlirough the mists, and touch th'OIympias 

heights : 
Alast seraphic maid, you'd then expire. 
And melt, trans -human, in the vivid fire : 
He 'd consecrate thee on the Cyprian fane,^ 
ThriDing with ecstacfes, approaching pain ; 
And give thy honor M, envied, ma^c name. 
To babbling Echo and responsive Fame ; 
Temper thy pulses with a Southern breeze—^ 
Correct the atmosphere — repel disease ! 
Cleave, like a tendril^ to thy peerless charms. 
And riot in the circle oi^ thy arms ; 
While Passion's regent touch'd each nerve with joy, 
A toil befitting the immortal boy : 
The moral aim that gave the blithe offence. 
Would sink envclop'd in tife madd'ning sense ! 
Not all thy purity could then avail, 
(Who can oppose when destinies assail?) 
From thy rich pulpy lips that never ^dsehood knew^ 
He'd fiercely ravish atfthe honey 'd dew ; 
Indent those semi-orbs, by Beauty given, 

Freight thee with wonders in a burning kis, 

And analyse the elements of faliss^ 
And gather you to heaven i 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. ^ f 3 

. Ah I where's the nymph now ? she is gone, like a vi- 
sion, 
>he but peeps and scuds off, like the Fancy's collision I 
ITome, come, lovely Millb^i, from apathy flee, 
Thou truant to duty, thou truant to me : 
lATake the tender novitiate, and banish her trance ; 
3id her succour the Muses, and writhe in the dance. 
Teraphic enchantress — inviolate maid — 
tVhy seem'st thou of ideal rigour afraid ? 
Elad Diah but known thee in happier days^ 
ifou'd have been fer^me de chamhre^ and lac'd up her stays ; 
f^ttended the huntress, and carried her quiver, 
\nd splash'd by her side as she lav'd in the river ; 
Borrovi^d torches from Phoebus to make the globe light, 
A.nd wip'd off the dew from her socks in the night — ^^ 
iTou should be more than mortal if I had the power. 
But as that is denied take my wish as thy dower : — 
May you emanate, gladdeji, and brighten your hearers^ 
And o'erlume the rude gazings of insolent fleerers x 
May the Muse and her inmates thy system control. 
And breathe all her pathos, and marshal thy soul ; 
Give to action new charms, and that gift make thy own. 
Till you stand an example uprais'd and alone ; 
Till Perfection's high test in thy manner is sought. 
And the wisest declare you have sated their thought. 

Though Emilia Galotti is dead and inum'd, - 
Yet that bosom still heaves where her sorrows so bum'd j 
And shall no peerless Phoenix arise from her ashes ? 
Shall that eye cease to ope whence Love's lightning 
flashes ? 

Be 



. 74 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

Be It envy or listlessness binds the nymph down. 
Let her fetters be burst— let her gladden the Town. 
But perhaps you suppress her, and narrow her deed. 
That some wench, more presuming, may bawl and roc- 

cced. 
Is it here as 'tis in the big world's mad af&irs^ 
Where vile Might gulps the grape, while gaunt Virtae 

drinks tears ? 
Some are out o£ the call of the Boatswain, and tome 
Are compell'd to kiss Guilt at the sound of the dram :* 
Some may sleep when the welfare of all it at stake, , 
And some toil, without thanks, till their n/ertehrs break* 
Such a thing as George Rosb has his thouss^n^s ^J^t 
while men, nearly Gods, lack their beef and their !)€«( 

Nor young, nor yet old, nor yet little, or great, 
, Who 'a he that so mcdestly knocks at your gate ? 
Woe is me, it is Murray ! — rridiculous oaf. 
Why would he cease slicing his Somerset loaf ? 
There he cut and re-cut at new dainties- well treasur'd; 
Here his viands are weighed, and his bread will be iocac 

sur'd! 
What should urge him to London to make such a trial f 
Why left he that spot where he met no denial ? 
Pr'ythee was he not honor'd I You nod,, then you grant iti 
Where a tree 's so long grown 'tis unsafe to transplant it, 
Was't a foe, or a fnend in disguise, canst thou teU?' 
Borne have wits so diseased they don't know when they 're 

Wbcrc 



Hi 
Ar 

HI 



3 



CHILDREN OP THESPIS, ^5 

Vhere our habits are fomft we .should cleave to tlrat 

clime, 
iind not rush where obliquity constitutes crime : 
Vhat was foUow'd at Bath may with us be unsought ; 
Vhat is moral is\ Persia, in Christendom 's naught ! 
There's a drawl iahis eloquence fatal to speech — 
IhouM he praise, or denunciate, or sporuj or beseech : 
lis accents hang fire, like Stutterers when fretted, 
V.nd seem as the mind's ammunition were wetted, 
■lis limbs to the furth'rance of grace are not prpne, 
Vnd he oft seems to doubt ifhh arms, are its own ; 
ie enfolds 'em — he kimboes— in proving what*8 best. 
Then tries ev'ry pocket from breeches to vest ; 
rill at length, half-enrag'd, and half-sham'd that he feels 

*em. 
Obtrudes one in each breast, and with cunning conceals 'em! 
There are parts where he mars all the Poets have wii^. 
As EmhoUnes danc'd on the ashes of Wit : 
There are others in which he scarce ever is out — 
Like the Greek Coryphai * he solves ev'ry doubt ! 

His 

'* Tragedy was originally a saci:ed Hymn .in honpr.pf Bacchus^ 
to which ptqgriessivcly were added Episodes, Which we call Acts^ 
»iKi between each Act was a Chorus, — The Chorus (hot as it was ^ 
atiirst, when it made the whole Tragedy, but as. it was in its 
taxkt perfect state, in the time of Sophocles and Euripides) may be 
defined thus :— // consisted of a troop '^ Actors I representing the as» - 
semiJy'or Body of those persons 'who either xuere present y 9f prohaply, 
nijfitlhe so, upon that place or scene ivhere the action is supposed to he re- 
prttentetL It appears to me that the . Antients reiiqquJMshed the 
Chdrus, in proportion as their Drama approached to the course; of 
natural Action. That it was frequently "^ery absurd, canno^ be 
doubted. Aristophanes made a Chorus of Clouds, which Socrates is ^ 
imagined to invoke aslus Sophisms : and in iinother Piece he intro- * 

duces 



76 

His lago's not subtle — he wants the rare art 
To be dulcet, and mask all the ills of his heart* 
In some movements the feat is imperfectly done» 
As he rather seems acting than acted upon : 
The intents of his soul are too mark'd inihis rant. 
They should spread and collapse hke a sensitive plant ; 
His own habits, too frequent, such villanies soften^ 
And he writhes, and o'eracts, and is menial too often : 
'Twas liot meant that the Knave should so flounde^and 

bellow, 
He may hood- wink the Audience, but cannot Othello/ 

When the Parent, aggrieved, yields the points of his wocy 
With a force, aptly charmful, his miseries flow; 
With powers electric, he moans and complains. 
Unstrings ev'ry nerve — stems the tide in our veins ; 
Then at pangs not o\ir own he compels us to start, 
By th' illusions of skill— by usurping the heait ! — 
He was knit, as Humanity's agent, to fly 
Through the mediate region of Ambition's sky : 
On the atmosphere's bosom secure wings his way. 
But is dlmm'd if he mounts towards the source of the day. 

duces 9. Chorus of H^tups in the House of Pbilodeon. It must be 
observed, in the defence of the Antients, that both Aristotle and 
Scaliger have condemned these ridiculous organs of communica- 
tion. Comedy ceased to have a Chorus even before the age of 
Plauttn\ but out of the ashes of the Chorus rose Dancing, Music, 
and l^uffoonery, as more appertaining to the genius of comical 
Poetry. The Directors of the Chorusses of Tragedy acquired as 
much fame and honor as even JEsopus or Roscim. Its due estima- 
tion may be Ascertained from a knowledge that Plato^ the Philo- 
sopher, pursued it as an employment not unworthy of his powers. 
This is the brief result of my reading, as relating to the Cho- 
Xfk% of the Antient Poets. 

Such 



CVILDEBK OF THBS»tS« JJ 

-* ' * ' , _ *< ' ■ ,_.....— -.^.^^ ^^p^^^ 

Such are feats which but men half divine can achieve. 
And at those who o'erb|lance their vigour we grieve : 
When Presumption was scorch'd with the rage of the Sun, 
How the world kugh'd around while the fool was undone ! 

Good Sense, most apparent^ will on him attend, 
'Tis his S$incho, familiar, his valet, his friend : 
Yet he oft times has seem'd indistinctly Xp think 
As if his ally was a Good Sense — in drink ! 
But perhaps he's o'erwom, and his Oxigene* fled! 
Perhaps the heart's draft's unindors'd by the head ! 
Perhaps 'tis a doze in which Wit and Sense leagu'd. 
As Homer would nod when his Soul was^f^tigu'd* 
Some emerge from defeat but to crow the more loudly, 
As Chiefs in retreat shew their science most proudly : 
Thus the teal of a bigot's most strong when c«n* 

founded, 
And Soldiers demand the more praise when most wounded. 

Yet why should we urge that this staggers our will ? 
We should cease to complain who encourage the ill, 
As we never take soundings, or throw out the line. 
When the bark is aground we should surely not whine : 
When the man at the helm takes too much of the flip. 
We should know that e'en we share the fate of the ship !r^ 
When oar Hawthorns roar planxties — ^when heroines bdch f 
When Salfina Rium spe^ excellent — Welch / 
When a whisper apart 's like a bell over-rang ! 
When R« Palmer's coarse fope tip a bit oCthe slang I 

* Every age hu its {>eciiliftr theories :— Now Ozif ene forms «11 , 
the rag* of medical Philosophy ; it is a novel discovery, proudly ' 
and ardehtly promulgated \ and it is very probable (such is ouc 
pride and our weakness), that at the birth ofthe ensuing centary 
It will be as happily discovered, 'and as confidently asserted, uiat 
there is no such thing \ 

F ^^.ei. 



79 A PIN-9i^8KST TO TW 



Each defect is our own, is we feed the disaster ; 

When the ulcer would spread we should think of a plasterl 

Who should marvel the world's got more mad since iti 

birth? 
Since 't is prov'd that the Moon edges nearer the Earth I 
Thus Reason each day '11 be n^ore amply defeated, 
As the brains in our sculls are more addled and heated ! 
He who err'd at the mom, in the eve becomes bolder, 
And Pais UMPTiON gams ground as the Globe becomei 

older. 

A WONDIRPUL EpisoDa** 

nom nflnure postU 
fUimima^ si comtra quam rafii unda^ meM* 

What is all this ? what generates this pother? 
Am I myself ? or am I but another ? 

• This exclamation was written to resist the lamenting, ful- 
•oAe, and preposterous articles, with which the journals were 
retently pestered, upon the presumed threats of Mr. Kemble to 
retire from the i>tage. If a I oreigner had perused these aBsurd 
paragraphs, he must have imagined that the Drama superseded 
every other consideration in this Country, and that Mr. Kemble 
was the common God of our Idolatry , that all the Community 
were in tears from Portland-place to Limebouse-hoie ; and that 
nothing could be wellif he was ill. The Physicians of the day 
seized upon the event to cover their want of perception, and in- 
«stcd that the general woe had created. a new disease in the sys- 
-tera, which they denominated the KembU-phobia. The Pharma- 
• copolists of the Metropolis turned the incident most adroitly to 
their own advantage, by making it the medium to vend their stale 
drugs ; and we had, during the mania^ Kemble-purges, Kemble- 
▼omlts, Kemble-anodynes, Kenible-blisters, and Kembie-glysters ! 
The usual squabbles of Mr- Fox to get into power, and Mr. 
ftTT to retam it, were wholly absorbed in this primary calamity ; 
— nay^ some of this Gentleman's j)arasites carried their folly so 
for, as to hint at the hedessity of a general mourning, on an event 
SO highly im|K>rtant aiid disa^rous ! 

''"'/" The 



CHILDREN OF TH£S?». fp 



The Sun 's eclips'd — Luna vindictive rule 
Chaos is come, and Plenty suckles foo]iS : 
Portentous flashes o'er the horizon peep, 
And Earth fills up the bason of the deep : 
Fate is overthrown — the Parca.'ve lost their shears-^ 
The Law its sting^^and Equity her ears : 
The Monk pdlutes his cowl — the Arts decline^ 
And Bacchus mixes water with his wine : 
The Covenant is stolen from the Ark ; 
The Passions knit and' solace in the dark ; . 
Atoms by adverse atoms are annoy *d. 
And vegetation's radix is destroy *d : 
The Ireland* blubb'ring o'tr their iron chest 
Wash from each MS, sentiment and jest : 
The lustrous gem is. dimm'd within the mine, 
And happiness, this week, oh HelJi is thine 1 
Utopia 's had a lavement for the bile, 
And thunders all its fihh upoh our Isle : 
Cassar demands, from his Tartarean den» 
What has reduc'd his glory among men : 
Astonish'd rivers to their sources roll, 
And ices, melting, Jiquify the pole : 
Perturbed matrons, burn their husbands' breeches^ 
Eardley abhors his pork, and Rolle his riches : 
Death and his attributes eschew Disease, 
And Bedfordbury hallows all its fleas : 
Th' Apollo on the roof of Drury starts, 
And calls on Heav*n to give him better parts : 
The North- Wind skulks^ — ^Ceres suspends the dews- 
Pride leaves St. James's, and our youth the stews.: 

F 2 • ItalWv 



M k PIN-BASKET TO TfiK 

Italia's «klc8 arc ovcrBpread with gloom, 
And even Pitt i# fearful of his doom : 
The Court of Common Council pinch their guts. 
And all the Governesses maul their sluts . 
Blockheads are jubilant, and Worth decays, 
And Pye prefers a night-cap to the bays : 
The Bas-hleu virgins in their conclave shriek ; 
Old ^ bethumbs his manual once — a week : 
Russia's battalions shrink at Mercy's nod, 
And Spencer's Dutchess curtsies to her God ! 
TutfhiU yawn — the Serpent *8 lost its wiles— 
Beauty her loveliness — and Mirth its smiles : 
Each Sense has had a paralytic stroke ; 
Love 's in the dumps, and Momus hates his joke : . 
Physic IS scratching his oppressive head ; 
The harvest 's blighted, and sweet Peace is dead : 
The Bird Befouls his rust — ^the Senate's mad- 
Jo hn Wilkes looks straight — and Philomela's glad: 
BuRKi foams no more, the Treasury is full. 
And Windham heals the buttocks of John Bull : 
Charity's nipples are, with milking, sore, 
And Britain's daughters hate that fruit they bore : 
Justice has dropt her balance — Virtue'^ craz'd-— 
Fashion 's convuls'd, and Apathy 's amaz'd : 
Each orbit 's fretted by its kindred Star, 
And Mars foregoes the issue of the war : 
Space is contracting— Honor flies his friends^ 
The roses wither, and th* Equator bends : 
Neptune ingulphs whole navies in despair ; 
Fish quit tKe billows, and the, fowl the air: 

' ^ ' The 



CHTLDBS19 07 THfiKPlS. ^ 81 

J . ■ ■ i. , .1.! }■■ If. JL 

The Elements commingle in a jig ; 

Envy is blithe> and Fate has burnt his wig: ^ 

Flora beseeches you'd resmell her flowersy 

And Time asks Jove to reproduce his hours : 

The taylor loaths his cabbage— Fraud her lics-*- 

The Priest his tithe, and Josbfh Banks his flics f • 

The wearied soul begins to doubt its functions, 

D. Leake his pill, and Gregory his unctions > 

The beardless Ensign now disdains to swagger, 

Melpomene has sold her bowl and dagger ;^ 

Thalia dramatizes Sawney Bean, 

And undertakers' mutes usurp the scene ;: 

The mice have bell'd the cat — ^the bawds increase ;• 

The nation's Cabinet are tum'd to— -^^y^ ; 

Judges are nietamorphos'd into wigs, ' 

Prelates to owls, and Aldermen to pigs ; 

Hawks feed those chicks whose mothers they have slain^ 

And bring them oats and barley from Mark -lane \ 

Bataiaans wish their provinces undamm'd ; 

Our girls are moody, and our churches crammed j 

Old men fergtt to prate of earlier times, 

And Barristers (when fee'd) to soften crimes ; 

The Pedagogues in pickle soak their rods. 

The younglings shake, and Gallia braves her Godt ;. 

Virtue is copper-bottom'd — Truth's with child j 

The kernel of creation 's crack'd and spoiPd ; 

The Hora dance the hay — the wise presume. 

Fortune is just, and Sloth is at the loom ; 

Spring execrates Favonius and his bands. 

And iSMiwr '• banish'd Gtres frbm Yitt \!Ml^\ 

' F 5 iluVumt\i 



82 A FIN* BASKET TO THE 

jfutumn^ rejects his cidtr, sheaves, and fruits^ 
And Winter '• sold his jacket and his boots ^ 
The Zodiac's all unhing'd^^he Signs are curst. 
And adverse Fate has made the best the worst ; 
The Crab jSelam'd begy alms in every street^ 
The Bull'% cut up to victual Britain's fleet ; 
Jquariui hisses loud, in Etna's crater. 
The Scorpion lurks in Blb wit's fia mater ; 
The jircher'% hung for killing fallow deer. 
The Ram is sheer'd for drinking Hebe*% beer ; 
The Fishes stink on Kittermaster'6 staH,. 
The ^ales are hid by rogues in Leadenhall ; 
The Timns have buffetted— the Goat is rude. 
The Lion 's timid, and the JTirgin 's lewd! 
E'en nymphs forgive the icy swains who scom*d 'cm^ 
And husbands every rakehell who had hom'd 'em ; 
The fetting Nile suppresses all its worms, 
And either hemisphere takes other forms ; 
' The Nuns of Quedlingberg are mann'd and married. 
Faith wears new spectacles, and Hoj>e *s miscarried I 
The Ether 's foggy — S r R a t h mor e v's kill'd her cats ! 
And all. the Maids of Honor sell'^old hats / 
** Oh day and night, but this is wondrous strange ! 
♦* Who sees Oblivion — ^will the Planets change ? 
*' Not thus," said Fame, " but tell an iroji age 
« That great John Philip Kemble leaves the stage ! 
*< Look on Parnassus, 'twill exceed belief ; 
*f Lo, every Muse is tipsey with her grief: 
*• Phoebus no more 'H, illume his adust throngs, , 
*^ He 's< broke his lanton and he's torn bis 8ongs« 



CHILDXEI7 OP TBBSPIS. 93 

To this the wench could nothing add, but sighs. 
And tears, which ran like cat'racts, from her eyes. 

MORAL REFLECTION* . 

If such the woe, as Kemble will retire^ 
What would the world were Punch consum'd by fire? 

Oh much- injured Punch— thou indefinite droll-— 
Thou monarch of mummer»— thou lord of the soul ! 
Come, come from thy haunts, be the Muse no more grim^ 
Give a point to our laughter-!-^ tone to our whim ; 
If 'mong your great grannies, the Dryads, you stray ; 
If posing the fidcflers on Bart'lemew's, day : 
If indulging chaste blisses with Joany thy spouse. 
And bestowing thy joys where you o£Fer'd your vows ; 
If enfolding her stout heart of oak in your arms, 
. And begetting young Jokes on her exquisite charms \ 
Ah think, truant Punch, what a wife you have, got. 
She punts not at Pharo, nor growls at her lot ; 
When you're burnt, that is, damned, this exemplary dame. 
Like a Gentoo, will beg to be thrown in the fiame ; 
All the Proctors would scorch her with satanic ire. 
And with marriage indentures maintain the hot fire ; 
No pharmacopoeia is searched 'cause sh/e faints. 
As the natU and the worms make up all her complaints ; 
In her wooden^acre she cheerful can ride. 
Her wheelbarrow 's untax'd, and her chuck is her guide : 
Though surrounded by nobiessep 3xid conj'rors,and quacks, 
Who would philter her broth and her morals relax. 
Indignant, though dumb, she has parried a host. 
And vesmn'd irrespoasmi as dtii «i ^ -^^v^ 



^oa 



84 A FIW-BASKET TO TttlT 



She 'd DO curious spirit that led her to rue, 

But remained quite content with that deed you could do : 

Would our ladies were thus, and could lead such meek 

lives ! 
How would Hymen rejoice had his votaries such wives ! 
No sarcasms would then chain his heaven-caught powers ! 
Then oiu* youth would seek women, not merdy their 

dowers ! 
All hail wedded Love ! — may those ecstacies be 
As common to all as to yoany and dice ! 
May civilians decay and our patience increase, 
And the sneers at thy statutes and privilege cease. ■ ■ ■ 
If cracking a pun on the bumpkins at fairs ; 
If shewing thy breech to the world and its cares 5 
If bruising the Demon with more christian sseal 
Than the Dean and the Chapter could practise or fed $ 
If lain on a shelf in a garttet to sl^ep ? 
If o'er Flockton's manes you whimper and weep; 
If sojourning with Jobsom you make scenic sport; 
If tickUtig the ladies in Solomon's court ; 
In short, be where you may, blazen forth and instroct us,, 
And define what is true, and correct and induct us ; 
Translate, for the use of our primest JTragedians, 
Oar Protagonists, Larrons, Fhttearsy and Comedians, 
All the sapient stuff in ^ymtilian'i rebtion. 
Of manner, iBflection, grace, force, intonatiofi ; 
Render ScaHgery Lui'tant and Diodor. Siculut, 
yulius PaUuxy 'and Plin^y whom they think ridiizuldUs ^ 
Tht SU^^ke, f^osriuSf and such dassk bojie. 
As agreeably ;to tkem as ihek ^MVttnS' aiid liiiiise ;; 



CHILDREN OF THE8PI8. 85 

Bid them quit their vagaries and act up to rule — 

Do this, my good Punch, as 'tis you 've been at school; 

Mark the precincts, 'yond which none should go with 

a jest, 
And stalk like an aleph preceding the rest. 

Miss WALLIS.^Q. G. 
What elegant spinster exhilarates the sight? 
*T is my tremulous Wall is, so dear to delight! 
A calm dignity mark's her, like N.-Poussm's thought f 
A calm radiance, like skies such as Clause Lo&raimb 

wrought ! 
• This, this is the nymph whom the good have carest. 
Like a Grace from her toilette, dr Virtue well-drest : 
*T is Simplicity's* sdf that's rush'd into the mart> 
Though her geer's pinn'd on aptly, accordant with art : 

• There are few clrcumstaaces, not immediately connected 
with morality, that create more pain in a reflective mind thaa 
the increasing disrespect for the interests of simplicity: — Wc 
seem hastening towards a period when a gothic mist will obscure 
the general vision — ^when the elegant sciences 'shall' be superseded 
by uiQ.gnvzanv and the ratth. How infinitely should that being 
be honored who would lead us from the depravities of little* 
n'ess, and restore that dominion to truth which has been pro- 
gressiyely arrested from her by surreptitious agents, and de- 
basing art ! 

Among die minor obligations pf life I think the preservation of 
Delicact the most considerable :*-in the Pagan days of ideal 
personification, she was not thought sufficiently momentous to 
DC arranged as a Virtue ; yet, with a proper deference to the dis- 
cernment of the Ancients, I will affirm, that if she is not an ad* 
mitted Virtue, her approximation is unquestionable. The ho- 
nors of this Deity (for I will have her deified) are exclusively 
committed to the custody of the Ladies, and there I hope they 
will remain as free from pollution ai the mysteries of the Bona 

t>EA. 



e^ A PIN-BASRET TO THE 

In her deed we 're kas forward to blaxn^ than rerere it. 
And though she's not perfect she's something^ that's 

near it : 
She exists an example to meliorate our days. 
And impels us to love when we meant but to praise* 
Yet th' effects of warm praise prove the givers her foes, 
As the fire seduces the thoughtless to doze* 
Fulsome vanity spoils the Novitiate's deeds^ 
As repletion relaxes that vein which it, feeds. 
When the minions of arrogance rave she must slay *eni, 
All may feel vain sensations, but none should diapky''eni^ 
When she acts Mrs. Oakley she speaks not from will, 
Yet pourtrays all the vixen with exquisite skill: 
In her scoffing and scolding she proves she €an feel ; 
Her rebukes are well chaia'd, and her rage is — gcnteel'i 
Yet she lacks all that arrow-fraught point of the eye 
Which illustrates what's seen, and marks more than 

we spy ; 
And too oft overdoes, what ^as meant, in wild freaks^ 
As a cur, in a hurry, o'erruns what it seeks I 
'1*18 in acting, like sleep — or in art — or our food— 
'Tis not mj4c/jf but 'tis wJbalf makes th' economy, good^ 
Tho' there arc, before whom, to he just, would seem ill, 
Who are vulgar in habitude, gesture, and will., 
In the Guardianher Harriet will charm, if not true,. 
'Tis befitting her powers — 'tis what she can do : 
lier confessions are mark'd by such feminine grace. 
She's a Dian in thought with a seraphic face; 
Yet, unfolding her passion, methinks, the young creature 
Is polish'd too high for the interests of nature ) 

Like 



CMILDKEK OR VMBSnS* 8/ 

•myi w ' ' ■ ' " • ■■ ■- -ij — ^ 

Like some orient linen, sent Benfield or Bovd, 
Her. sense seems too fine to be truly enjoy 'd ; 
And if sheet, or if shirt, though permitted to wear it, 
We're afraid to be free lest that ffeedom should tear it! 
Her nerve seems a nerveling — her act but in part. 
And she 's nought Which appears as full grown but — her 

heart: 
I would she could borrow, that ia,, for the scene, 
La Farisienne'a airs and' her non-descript mien * .; 

*T would 

• The French Drama. 
The origin of the Theatre of France was in the year ijoo, 
when the 'troubadours introduced a sort of irregular Drama in Pro* - 
Tence, but it was not until the year 1384 that it assumed any 
feature of regularity ; and the first unquestioned instance of such 
a performance was in 1398, when the mystery of the .'assion was , 
represented at St. Maur, In 13 13, Philip the Fair gave a mag- 
nificent feast, to which he invited the King of England; when, 
among other diversions, the Comics represented the joys of tkf 
blessed in Heaven, and the punishments of the damned. During these 
exhibitions, the 1 heatre represented Paradise, Hdll, Heaven, and 
Earth at once ; and tnough the action -varied, there was no.change 
in the decorations. . fter an Actor had performed his part, he 
retired to a corner of the stage, and sat there iq full view of all 
the Spectators, i he Farce Players were then held to be infa^ 
meus persons, and none were allowed even to bring them before 
a court of justice !— in 1401, Charles VI. granted the Actora 

/Letters Patent, and made them a part of the loyal Household, 
and they built the Theatre of the Hospital of the Holy, Trinity, 
where they acted, during the space of one hundred and fifty - 
years, pieces of mystery and piety, under the common title of 
Moralities — In 1^18, Francis 1. confirmed all their privileges; 
and they were re-ratified by He ry H. in 1^59, and Charles 
IX. in 1563, when they assumed a fraternal cpat of arms {viz, 
an escutcheon supported by two angeis, on which were represented 

^ a cross, and other instruments of the Passion). '1 heir Drama re* 
mained in a barbarous state until Peticr Corneille, who was 
born in 1606. The Cii, the Horase, and the Cinna of that great - 
man awakened the audience to a knowledge of beauty and truth. 
Racine imiuted his predecessor, and established the model of 
good Tragedy in fras^e; but to perfect. Conedy a ikHMSj^f t was 
* still 



88 ▲ tIK-BASKET TO THE 

'T would enliven, upraise her,' and quicken her action. 
As by rubbing the magnet we strengthen attraction. 
Some audiences rise from a dramatic treat, 
As «omc gourmands feel blest, yet not know what they eat* 

One 

•till wanting, who appeared in Pafis in 1658, and by his correct 
genius restored the dignity of I'halia. Louis XIV. in order to 
repress the indecencies of an audience in a Theatre, ordered that 
every person who behaved riotously should be kept in prison for 
a year and a day. 1 he custom of standing in the pit is not very 
ancient. The first Opera sung in Paris was in 1645, by order 
of Cardinal Mazarine, and the performers were Italians. 
The first French Opera was acted in 167a. Ihe most popular 
and chaste author they have had since the death of Louis XIV. 
is Voltaire, who has written so ignorantiy, audaciously, and 
falsely of our mimortah Shakes pa ari. 1 o hini succeeded Dra. 
matists of an inferior order, such as Didkrot, Mirciir, and 
Bkaumarchais. 

Since the late wonderful Revolution, their Theatres, and other 
places of entertainment, have put on a new character : as their 
State is more liberal, their flippancy is more unbounded \ and, 
whatever may be ihe influence of such a mighty change upon 
humanity in general, we do not think that the morally or eco- 
nomy of their Drama is rendered more perfect. 

Spectaclks or Paris in 1797, and which are ofttn aJmo/t 
every Day. 

Le Theatre des Arts, formerly the Opera, Rue de la Loi, fw-' 
merly Richlieu, at the corner of the Rue de Louvois. The room 
is new. Concerts are performed at this place, and the principal 
singer is Rousseau. 

L*Odeon, formerly the Hall of the Theatre Francais, in the 
Fau?(bourg de St. Germain, a spectacle projected by Dorfeuille 
for the purpose of reviving, with the utmost po^ble splendor, 
the standard pieces of the old French Stage. 

Le Theatre de la Rue Feydeau, formerly les BoufFons Italiens. 
The performances here are French Comedy and Opera, and. 
Concerts, at which Garat and Madame Scio are singers. Mok, 
Fleury, Mademoiselle Comtat, Lange, &c &c. play at diis 
Theatre. 

Le Theatre de^Opera Comi^e National, formerly Les Italiens, 
Rue Favart. Here are exhibited the Comic Opera and French 
Pieces as in 179a. .^esdames Dug^non and St. Aubin, M. M. 
Philippe and Michu, are still the principal, actors. 

Le Theatre de.la R^publique^ formerly Lei VarieteiAmusantet, 

R«e 



CHILDREN OF THE8PIS. ' 8^ 



le wonld think, like some hordes in Siberia, they 
ere denied their perception one half of the day ! 
hen on serious occasions her sentiment flows, 
e looks wholly absorbed by inveterate woes ; 

And 

le de Richelieu. The same Actors and Pieces as in 1792 still 

itinue. A division of the Company des Francais still perform ' 

:e, Talma, Mesdames Vestris, Desgarcins, &c. 

Le Theatre Lirique des Ames de la Patrie, formerly Le Thea- 

•e de la Rue de Louvois. The Actors of the Theatre Francais, 

10 formerly performed Tragedy there, arc about to join the 

rty of this Theatre under the auspices of Mademoiselle Racourt, 

10 continues to direct the undertaking. 

Le Theatre du Vaudeville at the Pantheon, Rue de Chartres, 

Qtinues as in 1792. 

Le Theatre de la Citoycnne Montansier, Maison Egalite, for- 

Tly le Theatre de Beaujolais in the Palais Royal. 

Le Theatre d'Smulation, formerly les Grands Danseurs du 

>i, or Theatre de Nicolet, on the Bouvelards of the Temple. 

L'Ambigu Comique, or Theatre d*Audinot, on the Bouve« 

ds. ^ 

Lc Theatre de la Cite Variet^s, formerly Theatre d'Henry IV- , 

posite the old Palais de Justice. At chis Theatre is represented 

Qterieiur des Cometes Revolutionaires. Upon the 13th of De- 

nber was exhibited a superb Pantomime in three Acts, called 

IS Tentations, or Tous les Diables j with a Prologue called the 

mncil of Lucifer. 

Le Theatre de la Rue Martin, formerly lc Theatre de Moliere ; 

inagcd by the Representative Boursault* 

Le Theatre des Jeunes Artiste*, Rue de Bondi. 

Le Theatre des Varietes Amusantcs, Boulevards of the Temple. 

C)mbre8 Chinoiscs, et Feux Arabesques, by Seraphin, Maison 

jalite. 

Amphitheatre National; or. Equestrian Exercises, by Fran- 

ni, formerly Astley's. A new Pantomime, called Don Quix- 

s, in which horse and foot are introduced, is at present per- 

rmed. 



The following are the principal balls : 

At the Maison Richelieu, price three livres each Gentleman, 
' two Ladle s. . 

At the Maison d'Aligre, Rue Orlcans-Honore, by Ruggicrri, 
rice three livres. 

G 



90 ▲ PIK-BA8KET TO THB 

And teems, as the tears o'er her eyelids are creepiag. 
Like a wiUbw that grows for the purpose of weeping; 
And *tis sure an offence 'gainst Propriety's laws. 
To o'ercharge by extr^Ries such a half-passicn'd cause! 

Yet 

At the Maijon des Thuilleries, Rue Honore, where Krattpo^ 
fiorms upon the instrument du Parnaue. 

At Lucquet's, Rue Etienne, price two livrea each. 

At the Maison Mauduit, Rue Poissonicre. 

At Loiseau's, Rue des Prouvairet. 

At Marechar*, Rue dc la Junienne. 

At the Place Veadome, at Quillet's, &c. &c. 

Nothing can exceed the blaze of decoration with which thdr 
spectacles are now graced. Fashion being relicTed from the oni- 
form eoupure which the influence of Court example coDstantly cs* . 
}oined, the inventive imannation takes unbounded scope ; and 
while the men appear with studied neeligence of dress, all the 
repertories of ancient times, the classical as well at the barbaroul 
ages of man, all the countries and climes of the earth, are ru- 
sacked to give variety and attraction to female attire. In tfak 
pursuit they are restrained by no considerations of decorum^ nor 
abashed by any admonitions of delicacy. Whatever is leqniiite 
to the display of the character which a fine woman amimes fo 
the day, the metamorphosis is perfect ; and in the latitude of tUi 
immondity, decency is outraged by dira^ises so meretricioot. 

Accordingly some weeks ago wc find that the cAmum was r&> 
garded as an enemy to the true tailU and tournure of the penoo oo 
account of its plaits, and n/yfom of taffeta was introdUceid, which 
adapting itself to the body, should mark and identify the thane. 

At their balls, instead of the' stocking and shoe, a silk pantalooD 
was adopted widi toes, and to this the ancient tod was tied, beiog 
a mere soie without any thing on the upper part of the feet : in 
this dress, *< the ma^j't^vinkling feet'' of the Poet might weU be 
applied, for they wore di a m m d t on their toes. 

One of the French Journals thus describes the last Concert at 
the Theatre Hue Feydeay. 

** It is not till towards the middle of the Concert that die re- 
tained boxes are filled. Then the coup d*ail becomes singular. 
You see suspended out of the boxes, thousands of arms, uncovered, 
not merely to the elbow, but a la maissMmede/*i^ule (the siioulder- 
blade). These arms are ornamented with diamonds, pearls, and 

fold trinkets. — You see plumes, diadems, and hea^^bestes so 
riiliant and rich, that one of them would nmJatffn a hundred 
creditors of the State for a twelvemonth." 

It 



CaiLDRlSN OP THSSPIg* Ql 

ITet where can we view what the Muse says should be? 
^ot in either battalions, with you or with me. 
I'en the Sidoons, who best can th' attention engage, 
Vill storm the swoln bosom with — ludicrous rage ! 
!j09 she lifts up her huge-muscled arm in the air, 
is i£ she would drive the couch'd Sense in despair ; 

It 18 not enough to make us admire th( mrm, we must judee of 
11 their other attractions. They stand up in the front of the 
oxes — they di^iay the collars^ chains, zones, and ornaments^ 
le riches of which surpass every idea that the imagination can 
lise. ^ You can mark every lineament of the form, and you see 
lat linen Is absolutely proscrihed. 

AH the Journalists in opposition to the Directory at Paris, cele- 
rate, in terms of the most voluptuous eloquence, the luxury that 
dw reigrns in the circles of that extraordinary M ctropolis. Under 
ic masque of affected censure, and pretcndine to scandalize the 
lanners of the day, they give daily pictures of the elegance and 
ncy — the capricious taste— the audacious levity— and the capti- 
itlng licence which the women give to fashion at the Concerts 
* the Rue Fcydeau, and of the Theatre dee Arts. We suspect 
lat it is another rujg de guerre i for no expedient could have been 
ivented, in the present state of European society, hettcr calcu- 
ted to .engender an universal desire of the return of peace- 
he very scandal of these reports is favourable to their views ; for 

inflames the giddy of every nation with the desire of vinting 
lis revived Temple of Pleasure ; and as to the emigrant French 
ho over their embers, and even in their most bitter execrations . 
1 the authors of their misery, have ever concluded with a shrug, 
that France was the first country in the universe'* — these reports 
itoxioAtelheir hearts. They would tq a man encounter the peril 
fthe guillotine for the chance of enjoying again, even for a time* 
le ^cinating delights of Paris. 

How is it possible to resist such enchanting spectacles ?— The 
rama and the Concert are neglected, while the men are debating 
> whom to give the apple as die meed of beauty. The suffragea 
ere recently divided between Mademoiselle Lange and Madame 
allien — the Helen and Phryne of the nation. The first, with a 
•ng sleeve that covered her arm, concealed under a large hat of 
>se colour, a modest face, though too much painted. The other 
xalled the antiquity of the Republic, founded by Brutus ; she 
as drest.like a Roman lady ; but not like one of those matrons 
hose principal attire was their native modctty .-^Jafi. 4, 1797. 

G 2- Backs 



^2 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

Backs her liirb o'er her breast as if going to box ; 
Break a ptrjur'cHcnight's jaw, or discomfit an ox ; 
And the louder she roars and sweet Reason destroys, 
The more keenly the beastly Spectator enjoys ; 
Till th' illusion 's all bliss, like the good when they dream, 
And the heroine's dragged off in a screech or a scream! 
What can censors tffect *mid the thunder of fools? 
Who would pencil an axiom when Sirius rules ? 
Modem Tragedy stalks o'er the ashes of Wit, 
Disproportion*d to Truth and for Morals unfit : 
'Tis a lucid exertion of methodized madness ; 
'Tis the issue of Fraud, and the caudle of Sadness; 
'Tis a monster dependant on Fallacy's skill, 
Which Nature ne'er knew, and 't is hop'd never will ; 
*Tis as hideous to me as th' apocryphal chapter, 
MuN Burke in a fit, or John Wilkes in a rapture! 
She may think this is harsh, as alas 1 the young ear, 
Shuts up all its caves from the tongue that's sincere. 
Some a principle scorn, who, when wiser, will love it, 
As with some Time 's a torment, which dying they'll 

covet. 
True Critics, though stern, will^eventually bless. 
As the dew aids the flow* ret it seems to depress ! 
. In this region of Folly, Imposture, and Guilt, 
Where Renown on a basis of baseness is built. 
Where men become titled as Honor's vain frogs. 
Whom I 'd scarce, if transmuted, admit as my dogs ; 
Where Scoundrel Reviewers, whom Scoundrels re* 

-ward, - . 

AU that's noble depress, and sell Fame by the yard: 

Wh< 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 9^ 

Who can marvel that man before Villainy quakes ! 
That the mob, like Egyptians, will deify snakes I 
When we prate of admiring such glow-worms on fire, 
Let us argue the state of those things that admire ! 

Admiration depends not on beauty or truth. 
On prowess, or sapience, or glory, or youth ; 
'Tis a weed, an exotic, that grpws in the mind. 
And oft proves the soil is to wisdom unkind ; 
Na steady direction its influence owns. 
But shines, like Light's beam, on our Madams and yoant*. 
Pitt's admir'd by Windham, andhcby Tom Steele, 
He by others, 'if others less gifted can feel : * 

E'en Curtis, when Praetor, -and greasing his gills, 
Cits beheld as a God charming denizens' ills* 
When the Pimp from his rais'd Magisterial chair 
(Though I'm pos'd how the de'el he could erer get 

there), 
Stamps and bullies the Virtues, and outrages Law, 
There are, who regard the mean miscreant with awe ! 
It is Terror adds might to each crawler it sees ; 
Thus a Lobster appears an Almighty to — Fleas ! 

Mr. SEDGWICK.— 'D. L. 

When this Island is agoniz'd o'er to know what 
Is achiev'd by the Austrians, and all that-^is not ; 
When the breath of the North binds the Elbe and its 

streams, / 

And the I^ket 's lock'd in, full of embryo schemes ; 
Then the Hope of the Realm 'gins to acken and pout, 
Tiii by X«abor and Alt the dpgg'd v<tkl'« cvsK. Q>aXN 

G 3 ^^^^ 



94 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 



With intelb'gence pregnant it breaks the salt tide. 

And we gain that by Toil which cold Nature denied I 

'T is e'en thus with our Players j we 've many who seem 

To have frost-bitten minds, and who rave in a dream I 

All the functions of Reason lie still and unwrought, 

And the animal speaks, independent of thought ; 

Let Instruction commence th' intellectual thaw. 

Till the eye of the mind opes and sees Honor's law -, 

Then the annats will make the Professor carest. 

Your' coffers more priz'd — the Profession more blest I 

Behold, chain'd in spirit, and cliill'd by his fears, 

Gende Sedgwick steals onward to solace our ears* 

Pr'y thee is it not wondrous a frame so well knk. 

Should appear so alarm'd *fore the Muse and her Wit ? 

Let not indistinct sneers or bold laughter confound him $ 

He 'b in truth so abash 'd that he cannot look round him r 

To the right or the left, he '11 not face it, or venture ; 

Like the Ottoman chiefs he '11 but war with the centre : 

Like a statue, oratular, mouthing, and local. 

He appears a Soothsayer melodiously vocal ; 

Foretelling a wreck, like tliose liags who live nor 'ward,. 

While, like Tom Skinner's deeds, alibis lays are strait 

forward; 

But the dilty scarce ended, he *11 turn tail and hie 

In such haste that he '11 scarce bid his compeers good bye i 

How Qui N * would have roar'd at this clang ous career ! y 

How he 'd mouth'd that the Muse was so crucified here ! > 

And, like blust'ring Ornithiae, brought pain to the ear ! J 

Go 

♦ When QwiN was performing^he part of Balante in the Rc- 
oruitiog Officer, Jwith Mrs. WoFf jmcton, who played the part 



caiLUREvr OP thespis. .. p5 

Go to Nature, and tell her I say she 's a gipscy, 
As she fashions one half of her hipeds when tipsy ; 
Bid her send me som'e elements, congruous with merit- 
But, alas ! there 's no fuel can make a new Spirit ! 
Zounds, fetch me a crucible, 1 'U poze the Dame, . 
For I '11 bake up some dozens shall bring her to shame. 
But the Sun is too brilliant for weakly, nerv'd eyes. 
And the lowly in heart will feel pain'd when they rise t 
'T is with men as with timber, some grandly aspire 
To sweep Heaven's blue vault, and be warm'd by 'Sol's 

fire ; 
Court the blast and the tempest, like impious craz'd dolts, 
Until ireful Jove rives their limbs with his bolts ; 
Then unmoan'd see those branches decay which they'd ' 

clicrish'd. 
Shew the stump, and vaunt loudly that greatly they'd pe- 

rish'd! 
While others, like underwood, shrink in the vale. 
And, though prostrate, are glad they e'en thus 'scape th^ 

gale: 
No disgust shakes their fibres — Despair never wrung 'em, 
Though efts, toads, and fungi, engender among 'em! 

Miss MELLON.— D. L. 

When a Tenters is copied, and brought to a. sale. 

All th' Original's fame makes but sick'ning prevail : 

of his Daughter — being inebriate^e addressed her thus :— ** Sylvia, 
how old were you when your Mother was married?'* — «* What, 
Sir r* said the Actress tittering. — " Pshaw !*' said he, " I mean how 
old were you when your Mother was Sorn ^*'— ** I regret, Sir, 
that I cannot answer you precisely upon either of thosA <^e»\Sftwv ~ . 
but I can tell you, if that 18 Decc««arT) Ww o\4 \ ^^'^ -^VkKa^sc^ ^ 
Mother d^/'' '^ ^ 



q6 a pin-basket to the 

Though we see affectation of manner and style. 
All the penc'Uing but. urg^s th* observant to smile* 
Old Philemon had look'd, at the bM, as a boor. 
Though he 'd put on that jacket the Thunderer wore : 
The coarse vest, it istnie, might have struck us as plain, 
But the God and the impulse should look for in vain ! 
Thus it 19 with a Player— whose hope to excd 
But e&ists in the aping of those who've done well* 
Pr'ythee can't she forget that a Jordan has breath'd ? 
Should each minx draw that sword which Bellona had 

sheath'd? 
From Fail&en to Msllon, from Mellon to Fareen, 
They all poach for trich in the very same warren ; 
They rehearse every feat for which idiots have dapt her, 
And 'tis Jordan in all to the end of the chapter ! 
Uke ^d clothes in thcfripftrhy hung in the air. 
We 've her habits in part, yet much worse for the wear : 
To rob others they think will increase their own stores. 
By a transfer of strength, like the Jack at all.fours I 
When such mannerists copy they aid Folly's curse. 
And like growing woad become gradually worse : 
Such give yrings to a lie, and woukl breathe in a fiction ; 
.Like Royal Peculiars above jurisdiction. 
If this they call acting, I 'd bring them a jay 
Should steal from themselves what to them is a prey : 
No chattering Marmozet tovcs in Brasil, 
But would teach such to cofyf iUuttratey znAfielf 

Her Miss Phte^ her Amatithisf her romps, and her 

jades, 
Her miniken-missesy her beOes, and ker maids, 

As 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. ^^, 

As unfinish'd animals, crampt will appear ; 

Like the weak beldam's pride, who 'd a sow with one ear ; 

Like the Paduan medals such efforts are priz'd. 

Till the cause has been seen, then such things are despis'd. 

They are immature ftats scarce deserving a stipend ; 

She's been pluck'd for our use ere the fruit has been ri— 

pen'd : 
She 's too fond of the Prompter, tp manage her part. 
And inclines to P. S. with a^remulous heart ; 
As old cits will believe, in the blaze of the Sun, 
When they 've got out of sight of St. Paul's they 're un- 
done ! 
Not the jubilant kidling on Cambria's cragg'd hills 
Sarabands more adroit than this deft when she wills; 
How skittsih, alti volant, cranky, and fleet ! 
Is she still in her sleep ? don't she leap in the sheet ? 
She appears as a lass with conceit overweening ; 
She 's too dashing and daring for conquest or meaning. 
Who would give him a match to discharge heavy guns. 
Who knew engineering as little as Hu^s ? 
Those know who enact, without giving offence. 
That the flirtings of nymphs are dependent on sense : 
That to wriggle and giggle,' and twist like a screw, 
Will the sentiment mar, and sweet Nature undo. 
Those gay emanations but move us to praise, 
When the deeds are an issue from Wit*i3 polish'd lays. 

Could Prettin*ess do all she wishes, alone. 
She might sit as incumbent on Fame's glassy throne : 
Her rapture is magic — Care's torrent she stems, 
' Like the mask of young Laughter reliev'd from rich gems ; 

Or 



98 .A PIN-BASKET TO J'HB 



Or delectable GoocB *, who ElyBium imparts. 
Whose wit shakes presumption, who chains haman heaths ; 
Who breathes all the sweets of the East in a kiss. 
Who *s so high charg'd with joy she can agonize bKss : 

- . ' Her 

• Eliza Gooch is the only snrriving branch- of the very re- 
spectable family of the Vil la Reals, who were nearly allied by 
consanguinity to the noble hoi|se of Mon ckto n . As she ripened 
to an aduk her beauty became proverbial, and her graces the point 
of admiration. 

When the too sensible heart of this elegant victim became first 
agitated by passion, her virgin predilections taught her to look on 
a young and gallant Scotchman with a partial eye. The powerful 
contagion of love was communicated to both parties, by those un- 
descwbable agents of Sympathy Vrho electrically convey a mutual 
desire through the medium of feeling. The enamoured twain 
met, and vowed eternal a£fection; but each assignation was 
stolen, while the vigilance of an obdurate mother slept. 

Not the CUUimM saffron, or the Arabian incense, were so grateful 
to the olfictory nerves of the Roman inunolator, as the vow of . 
constancy from fraudulent youth to the wide ear of the believing 
maid :-»the delicious poison insinuates itself through every part <^ 
her system ; and all her passions and senses are held in bondage 
by Love !— ^he thinks all true that seems so, and flattery more 
amiable than discretion. The weak, fluttering, captive spinster 
gazes and gazes, until the object of her admiration becomes a 
dcmi-god ; she thinks him more than human — he walks before 
her eyes like ,another Anthony in bis Melibaan purple ; she wishes 
for an empire only to give it liim who has shaken the peace of her 
bosom— and even disregards the obsequies of Honor, while the 
ideal chain is unbroken which attaches her to the author of her 
woes! 

What is not to be, will not ; their venial stratagems were dis- 
covered, and the luxuriant commerce was terminated for ever. 
With a watery eye and a heavy heart, the wounded nymph was 
rapidly conveyed from the hospitable mansion of her fathers, to 
Bath.— ^In vain did the favoring Sylphs labor to oppose the 
sentiment of her enraged parent— In vain did they remove the 
trinkets necessary to ostentation, and the drapery necessary ta 
personal comfort ! —all could not avail. 

Among the myriad who prostrated themselves at the feet of the 
accomplished Villa Real, wa& a gentleman of the name of 
^Goocu—he had rank and fortune to recommend him to the mo- 
ther ; his recommendations to the daughter wero too limited to 

be 



CHILDREN OF TH£8FIS« QQ 



Her bright hazel orbs irresistibly roll ; 

Their pure lam})ent beams pierce the core of the soul 1 1 

Ah me ! shall rude Time all tlie Pleasures oppose ? 

Dare he sweep from her cheek Beauty's loveliest rose ? 

Will Fate seize the banquet that gluts every sense ? 

Will the urchin of Cyprus permit the offence ? 

Shall the issue of Heaven, in common, decay,. 

And her sweets close in night like a frail Summer's day f 

Mr. BRAHAM.^'D. L. 
From chanting hosannahs to Israel'd God ; 
From the Rabbi's reproach and Levitical rod 5 
From the daughters of Ssdem, their wiles and their gibes \ 
From the gallows of Haman that frightens the tribes ; 
From th* ingenious venders of wax that ne'er seals ; 
From depots of stray goods which the holder ne'er steals ; 
. From merchants in wine that's eternally sour ; 

^roi^ dealers in Watches that ne^er kept an hour ; 

f 
be noticeable ; it was a fixed circumstance that she mutt be imme»> 
diateiy married, and considering the event as it sacrifice, she was 
careless as to the object ; her antipathies towards Mr. Goopn were 
not then greater than any she felt towards his Bath rivals, ^d, 
with this negative preference, she consented to kneel before the 
Communion Table, and, in the intervention of her sighs, muttei^ 
iotfe^ honor, and obey. 

From such an union of (wo bodies, with two minds estranged, 
what could be expected but what occurred I So great an infringe- 
ment of all those delicate rights of the heart (which will remain, let 
tyrant Prescription do what it may), was productive of that species 
of torment which insensibly gnaws the frame without the disorder 
beins^ manifest. 

This polished inconstant has now passed the Rtthicon of juveni- 
lity ; and may the shattered renmant of her being plaaidly decay, 
with Hope on her right hand, and Resignation on her left ! 

From 



lOO A FIN-BASKET TO THE 



From stale fish and stale fleshy and old wigs and old clothes, 
From the Hebricians' statutes and Bevis Marks oaths ; 
Lib'ral B&aham has run like our Bridewell scar'd 

wenches, 
To immingle with Gentiles and people your benches : 
He has ta'en .down the family harp from the tree, 
And join'd Moses and Babylon's whore in a glee ; 
While Solomon's ballads were torn in the road. 
As contemptuous as Wit scoffs Pye's annual Ode ! 

Though his action is awkwardness' self that's outrag'd, 
He must be, in despite, less absurd when more ag'd. 
Such Barhari toiling are made less obscene. 
As swine in allaying the itch become clean ; 
Their continual efforts their faculties brighten. 
Like the foul in the thernngy who floundering whiten. 

His voice and his judgment completely atone 
For that heap of repulsion he cannot disown j 
When he pours forth his note, how he cleaves to our will ! 
*Tis a test of most exquisite order and skill : 
'T is as soft as that magical instance of art, 
"VMaen Cupid told Psyche the wish of his heart ; 
Yet though thus is the cadence, though thus is the feat, 
There 's no soul in- his ditty — no sauce to his meat : 
Oh how unlike Incledon's many-ton'd song*, 
■ That fondling of Genius — that charm of the throng ! 

He's 

* There cannot be any doubt but that thewritcrs of our Operas and 
Musical Farces have been eminently indebted to the great powers 
of Mr. Incledon for the preservation of their loose performances, 
and the establishment of whatever characters they may possess as 
Dramatists ; his exquisite ballads have charmed m'any a terrific 
audience into silence and good humour. At the rehearsal of the 

Castle 



He^e a vocal unique— the^ suspender of pain, 
T^ envy of rascdt^ iheirfood and -Ifbeir -bane ; 
When4iel>realhes hu diVMipns^andliquklly^ soars, 
Frigid Science first hears, then bows low and adores t 
E'en the dust of our fisi^ers embodies to peep, 
And the Sepulchre's tenantry shake off ^eir sleep ; 
The tigress, 4;hQUgh -famish 'd, -abandons her prey. 
And Sol atops, and gives ^Britain additional day 1 

Inconsiderate wight, shun the ^minion of Vice, 
Bid thy POE view -thy bo^m, then kt you speak twice; 
Thou 'st fill'd not thy cc^ers with prostitutes' coin, 
Nor arrested the victim he'd liv'd to purloin ; 
Thou hast gull'd no loose friend, ta^en in drink, with 

dice cogg*d. 
No poor infants will curse thee— ^thy soul is unclogg'd ; 
Thou hast given ik) v«efe to the tooth of Disease; 
Thou hast liv'd not in state on a courtesan's fe^ \ 
Nor denied, when knplor'd by the aict'plunder'd ninny, 
To emooth her death-bed with the loan of a guinea j 

C(uth of 4^*^^""* V^^ch, was t^en caU^d X^e SanMtt^^ ^t^b^ 
vorite-air oi^ie Hardy Sailor wa^. struck eut by the Manager ; 
which the late iiKiri^uiplw ¥ip. K;&^ns.d^ Jb«iri|ig, ffuho^vir^Srtbo 
oTt^fX^lpbofnoy she complain^ bitterly to Mnl^Aaaix.} vwho 
ji;dii«caf|tly restored it (pr'-tri^l ki 4HHi^uinent to her entreaty; 
HH^.oiUhe -first fljgbf^ repr^y|antaiyli)n,it wyis Jou^y iWKpr^ by 
the audience with particul^ zeal, and j^^ved the Opera. |^. 
CumberUnd, ^who -was behind the 4c«ne6 daring 4^e ropTiestflta- 
tioij, was 80 .ciu:apu»r^4 with it J thftt 1h» ^C^ar$ tp Mr.jPavi^s, 
if the composer, Dr. A& NO LDy had never done any thing else,. 
th^t air, ia.hi9 jti4gm9iit^.wa«fiufficknt to ensure the immorcofity 
of his fame as a Musical Composer. This anecdote jU inserted to 
prove, among many other instances, how very cauti^s a Mana- 
ger s^uld be ^^Jve &»Tm»liMi prHiiing4uufe upon an i«Rtried 
Drama. 

h: you*ii 



102 A PIK-BA8KST TO^ TRB 

You'll not, dying, cry out, as hell's BBAuroRT once cried, 
For that mercy and justice as man he denied ; 
You've seduc'd no poor nymphs from their home and de- 
light, 
Then left them to rot on a threshold at night; 
You have not dishonor'd jrot/r country by deeds 
At which manhood recoils — at which Dignity bleeds ; 
The good will not stamp on your ashes when dead ; 
The Cyclops are forging no bolts iov your head ; 
You have trod on no wretch by Calamity rent ; 
You have bravoM no servant who dare not resent : 
*Tis the vapouring alone who desert Honor's needy 
As the valiant in heart are the meekest in deed ! 
If the miscreant breathes, let all mankind rise up. 
And throw chains round his act and embitter his cup ; 
Mark him out when he steals through the world to trepan^ 
And in audible accents roar. Thou art the Man I II 
Xio tell the mean vermin who toil to defame thee. 
Who 'd ensnare thee, and hough thee, and blight thee, 

and maim thee, 
That they cannot, they shall not accel'rate thy fall : 
Be but true to yourself, you're superior to all! 

While a knave is prepaxing to poison his neighbour, 
The just Gods, in revenge, twist the course of his labor; 
. Make his cunning his curse— till egregiously led. 
All that shame he would give is recoil'd oh his head : 
As some dream they are wetting all those whom they- 

list,^ 
But, on waking to truth, feel themselves as bep*— st. 

Miss 



GHIILOREK OF THESPI8. lOd 



Miss GOUGff.—C. G. 

When the radii of Phoebus insinuate moniy 
And the slumbers of Echo are burst by the horn i 
When a southerly breeze and a warm smoky fog 
Give the slot of the buck to the nerve of the dog ; 
Though begirt on a steed of high blood,^ bone,, and fire^ 
Fair Sal's bury dashes through copse, brake, and mire r 
Yells deep tally-ho till her note skims the vales. 
And scuds neck and neck with the fleetest of gales ; 
Spurns the turf, and the dirt, and the pebbles around her^ 
Till Calamity doubts if her hate can confound her : 
Leaps the fence, scours the upland, and clears the brook's 

bed. 
As Dian )ooks down from her oibit with dread :- 
Yet nymphs lesser fibred, in doubt oi their skilly 
Will tremble and gaze at the base of the hill ; 
And the end of their hope is to ward Ruin's blowy 
And confront the worn deer in the meadows below ! . 
But your wenches who hunt in the Drama for fame> 
Will all fly imdaunted at all kinds of game 5 
And with fitness or not they all make the assault. 
And are ever presuming, and ever— at fault I 

Full of loveliness, degant, gorgeous, and gay,. 
Wand 'ring Gough cheers our isle like beneficent May i. 
Her smile draws a fang frotn the jaw of my rigor- 
She is nearly as charmfulas Twiselton's figure; 
Yet those smiles I'll forget while fulfilling my trust; 
Though it 's meet to be kind, yet it 's great to be just. 
H 2 la. 



In >^<^/a her phrenzy was ably vustain'd ; 
But where she 's not mad she declaim'd and she pain'd ; 
Ahy how unlike *Cr A WF0RD9 the first on Fame's lists! 
Ah, how utlUkK FoW£i;f;-^He best wh<^ejtiitU ! 
Though' biddJ«i*H%oi4* Uatf^ craiiim'd \itt With prt^^ till 

Her Ct^iMi y9^ rUditt* eifdili'd tb«tf ^]hf^i 

Yet ttt« eldgy- only o6uld ihdidet her hettd;- 

The \#(M4d he»i» ifot ^di bai^i)ig9->^b^ i^kffe^aat 

unread*: 
Such^Wttrks artrlik^cMvadlflf by dwib<»!f dl«gfli^^rv 
We ydui* &« oa^hg^ mu^h' m&re ditth^ tif' \SfSm:-^» 
Those- at^ ^rt< litft ol%'d^ by the {iA{H^ii^.p«¥f«l'»- 
"W^ a»tf led ttf^a-Hieight to be^roWtt'buC-^if k^ifdr: 
When a blunderer prattles we question and &q^^^ 
When Wit lauds we ope wid<* eveiy tub^ in- the efe**!^ 
Though thur she enactMli^tHou^ thus'8h^' \m M^ 
In ardent IcHierth« slut wal all^hsil^d ^ 
*T was AMf miiuf yblet>M Fa^*ot](«hibiHfdUfM? dffi^e^' S 
Yet llicmi(StSiisviFatlAtki eorfipai^d vKth<Gf>od*S«^2nfl' 
Each" i«^iMik^t«: daiy briHgs* rf^ lihdis ta Mght ^ ' 
Each regenerdtV^hoUK gives w(Mid€H>to dig^'; 
Though' t3i€iy knot^ tlie: aasen^, not di6' d^wi,' will dtfri- 

found-iH^^ 
Yet the/U'dti^td: oUT ^k^s; aHli^aisa&aMd^stltiiAitfd Us ; 
Afttl^'ft^by J&fop«>ptej8'thinie,*tMthrthey^rtf pei%iit%«dj 
"^That thrfrdaiffli,' iri'dtcfisiiiii ifrfll jffl btf adttiitie*; 
So impiud<£m iilefldfcciiftiB^teaze while v¥t^t€Ai!s&Angy 
Till we thitow* th^em^ atotoe pehce to^ prcvew; theife fiitoi 

S{)e0kiiig;. 

Alas; 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 105 

Alasy' how presumptuous is Folly's assumption ? 
Alas, how will Fortune sustain that presumption I 
It appeals that the aim to be perfect is vile, ^ - 

If we judge from those monsters which breathe in this isk ^ 
Some gutturals mouth, with a raging delight, 
As Northumbrians cross-buttock their voiyels in spite. 
Some think driving a gig is the height of ambition. 
And some demi-blindness a mark of condition ; 
Some imagine that nymphs are most beauteous when bulky^ 
And some think they're grand only whca they seem sulky ^ 
But the toil would be endless to scoff or relate 
Those egregious points which reduce our estate : 
But retrograde Fate damns his pristine designs, 
Tears the antique behest, and blots out his own Knes ; 
In each niche meant for Worth thrusts the Drab or the 

Ninny, 
Like a Birmingham rap in the mould of a guinea ! 

Mr. C, KEMBLE.^-D. L. 

Whbn. a Traiteur denvands a full crown for a dinner, 
If his fowl and pig stink, you indite him a sinner ; 
And though ere you eat he may pocket the pence. 
When his trash is gulp'd down you enrol the offence ; 
Thus it is with bold caitiffs who rate themselves high. 
Though on trial they give all their vauntings the lie ! 

What stripling is this, with a Major's command ? 
How battalions obey when he holds up his hand ! 
He struts vainly charg'd as Fame ask'd for and miss'd'hnn, 
Or Endymion who 'd dream'd that Diana had kiss'd him£ 

- H3 ^>a^,.^ 



lt3k? A ffir-aTAsttT* Tb ttfjr 



OK heaVtilr and earth, 't is a jutiiot Kb m'b le I 

What 'i'the'rtiattifl', dcav sistef^ ybu'A silent, feut ttcniMe'?' 

What a polyptis'feSfhily 'titf^how they s^W, 

Aike tad]k>leraSsUhiiilg a stagiliant pooPs biim f 

To divide tbetil is notight^they're so giffed' 't'is^Iild, 

LiJ[:e t»/)^^rj^iiif^8t^mi^t on they II mingle again f 

Yet Candbtbr must own that, like mercury piIJs, 

If they're grfven with art they may qualify ills. 

<lit pi"ythce don^t let theW secrete in ybuf s^lrtSfttt, 

ffyou do rfcithek- priest* nor Rf. D. caYi re^st 'elfh ; 

You may purge and niay puke, and may l&athe'and iAay\ 

sweat, 
.And implore and l)Iaspheme, and' sigh, writh^- foam, 

and fref , 
Yet you'll ne'er shate them oiit tlie anatomy V net ; 
There they'll nestle and sneak, and engender^ and rage, 
Agonize all your joints, and em1)ilter ybuf" age'^. 
Sure his race hope to transfer those wreaths they've well 

won, 
As the Switzer's old" vest goes from sire to" soii!' 
Yet no art, no inducement, can siiboni the Wfuse, 
And a dolt's but a dolt should he wear Moira's shoe^; 
Disproportionate patronage clogs such weak elves. 
As some soldiers bear amis more inimense than themselves* 
He's emerg'd into sight with the fiamily phlegm. 
Like a sucker drawn' forth from a parental stem ; 

♦ Vide an excellent pamphlet entitled Mm cur y Stazk 
Naked, which has been lately nublished on the comflicated evils 
of this very dttfcf mrfive mineral, which, under the pretence of 
curing a particular infection, introduces endless debility, and not 
ttofre^ucDtly the cause ot madness* 



\Vv% 



c^ldMbn or rnii^s. idjr 

His outsidie's his Worst patt^like our- fresh bcgtim'd eggs. 
And Fate 's laid an emliargb on each of his legs 5 
Which dienies him the deed to enforce what he fetA, '' 
And the imposts are heaviest nearest the hedl": 
Yet in parts where ingenuous youtlh fills' the sfa^. 
Where the son d^ls around him a filial rage ; 
There We^ cea^ to demand any one in his 'stead. 
And the atteiltion's tran'rferr'd fr6rirhi< hieds to hiffSteadi 
]%s Barnwell 's a portrait that hohoi^ hii^ youth ; 
Though not perfect 'tis something approadiiilg 1x> truth. 

In ordiilaxy life when a question atl'Ses^ 
Between honor and impulse^ as two ductile prizes, 
The party '11 retire to prove which is best, 
Aiid, comparing the ends, holds but onkin Request ; 
Yet 'mbng Actofs so strangei so pervlerse is the ridhd, > 
They'll stick fefet'tb itit cat^-^iht r«tti5r throw bchihd ! 
Yet we 're liniited all, and 'rhdng eveii the W6fsf, 
There ^^e goals beyond whkh Wecaiin6t be atcuM; 
When he's rid to that ^ost' iri the rag6 of his calling. 
The good sense 6f his kindred shall keep him fr6ili'£iHin]gii 
Folly flies Common Sense as a cornel* the siin, 
Tift its weakened by' fligfrt aiid its powers thrice rtrtf 5 
Then, ete wholly exhausted, it turns towards its sbuWfei 
And, from ihdre inability, can't become worse. 

Some have said he can act, and those some will not 
yield. 
Though the whole Artstarchi had taken tfie fietd : 
should a medalist offer BuHke's h*6ad for a tiger, 
A Mamnuea of brass for Pacenmus Nt^& 5 



108. A FIN-BASKET TO THB. 

A hammer-struck Otho for Claudius^ own bro 
Or Bntish Bet's head for Faustina the motht 
How the Critic's fierce eye would scowl re 

cheat. 
How his bosom would swell, how his heart's 

beat! 
And yet most would he feel in opinion 2ig^^ 
To know others could think him so easy dci 
Men are robb'd of their wealth, yet those n 

sigh'd, 
But none give up with temper one point of 

Miss MANSELL C. G. 

With a in^rm,. merry heart, and a. fair ro 
Unsophislicate Man sell stands up in her p 
She bounds brisk o'er the stage like a nymph 
When Dian rejoic'd that the savage was slaii 
She is buxom and blandishing, blithe, benef 
She is Nature's own wenchy but too inartifici 
In Julia her sentiment oft was undone ; 
In Dortnda her manners are loo8.ely put on ; 
Though that spinstei is rural in compassing 
She at least should be demi-genteel in her ci 
There are parts that would fit her to conqu< 
Where she 'd edge in and dove-tail with profi 
When the context would make her botl 

strpnger, 
Then her fame would mount higher — her 

last longer. 



Bid her quit these fine ladiefll and burn Fa^ion's net, 
Let her try what she'd' do in a laughing aoubrette. 
Can every slut at a' Countess prevul 
'Cause she *s plumes on her head and silk n^ at her tail ? 
I%e was bom not to fidgtt-^-Hshe '» Hb'ral^ idie's gay. 
Her nerve has due tone, aiid her soul sees itv way ; 
I approve her because^ she ha» ketf of that trick 
Which young ^nxies: put oh* to make Hone^ sick;* 
It is itaarv^Uous a» Stag«i«ts, bilt mnfc odt of t^ 
Of the wmxieti have lese mau'vam bonte than the nieii : 
It is true diey*ve more latitude! ^^vwi to dcill. 
They can shift artditishlf^ and* be ^en what they vviU— 
Affect to the aem^ <tf woe 'fore the Town^ 
Faint precisely ha!/ way^ but, thank God^^ ne'er h^ 
down* 

lAx.COOPER.^C.G. 

When a dok takes tlie Kehn of a vessd, who knowt' 
Not to box the round compalsi^or state where it flows ; 
To whom dharts'are confusion, and soundings mere form. 
Who is jocund 'mid breakers, and sleeps in a storm— ^ 
The observant ^ugU loud, the crew hurl him firom deck^ 
And the bark id preserv'd from an imminent Wreck. 
But, alas ! with the Stage 't is presumption alone 
Can secure Pride's beast on his high mimic thrt>ne ; 
Thence they issue the fiat, urismote, though untaught : 
To be there seems the same as to be— what they ought ! 

Where, where is young Coopbr, that Tyro so vain. 
Who Hamkt re-kills, who's so oft^nbeen slain I 

But 



110 A PIN-BA8RET TO THE 

But my memory urges, he'll vex us no more» 

As he 's Bought with a troop the trans-atlantic shore : 

Sure our mummers behere, like some wine (what a nc 

tion!) 
They 11 be more in request by their crossing the ocean 

Oh! happy Ambrica, liberty's land*— 
Complacent, yet potent-^pacific, yet grand z* 
All thy children concentrate to feed human good — 
All thy children the tyrants of man have withstood ! 
Pallid Luxury has not unstrung thee with wiles ; 
Thy law, like Confuehu' plain code, ne'er beguiles.;- 
Thy statutes protect or the mighty or mean-^ 
View the smiter and smote, but no demon b 

tween : — 
Young generous Nature with lustihood blooma;. 
Flower'd shrubs charge the breeze you inhale with pei 

fumes : 
No baneful delusions crawl o'er your wide breast ; 
Every serpent you see is a reptile confest : 
Thy monsters but howl in your wilds or y9ur plains — 
niiey usurp not the mart — ^they defile not your fanes t 
Long, long may thy states to Accordance be known- 
Long, long may those blisses you feel be your own- 
May the Deep, as he lashes your bold ample sides. 
Waft the gems of the world on his feculent tides — 
Bear the treasures of Europe 'fore each Southern wind, 
But leave all its sophisms and horrors behind. 

When Rafaelle pourtray'd any character new. 
He first ponder'd on grace, then the contour he drew : 

Nej 



1 



CHILDREK OF THESPIS. Ill 

Next thought in what part of the group he should place 

it- 
Then arranged light and thade — ^then view'd what might 

debase it ; 
Then by delicate tints brought the whole into keepings 
Till the gazer admires it laughing or weeping. 
But our Theatric whipsters assume a new part, 
Without any appeal to the mind or the heart : 
Embrazon'd ihey strut on the Stage in new feathers. 
With, By G — d here I am, boys, prepared for all wea* 

thers ; 
Every passion comes forth at my nod to amuse me. 
And those Critics who question my powers* abuse mb« 

I hate a vile sonorous blockhead, whose claim 
Upon partial attention and general fame, 
Is confin'd to the mouthing of incomplete sounds. 
Which tear up ideas, as game 's torn by hounds : 
With such can no delicate attributes dweH ; 
All the Nine hear the din, like a premature knell : 
Such ninnies would dance in a pestilent noon-* 
Scorn the laws of the Rhythmus, and spit at — the moos, 
y"et to goad them is useless — who *d question a cur I 
The presuming are often unconscious they err^ 
They'd whistle in alt, and not dream of offence, 
While Phcebus was breathing o'er Pythia's Sense — . 
Roast nuts *hud the Cyclops,' illum'd by Hell's flashes. 
And not cease to obtrude till their muscles were ashes ! 

• It may be necessary to remark, that whenever a candid criti- 
cism appears in any of the daily papers upon theatrical performers, 
which does not agree with their excessive vanity, they vulgarly 
characterize it ks aouse. 



112 A J^Ur-AASKBT TO TBS 

Ev'ry man is a tyrant^ or greats or lesseri 
From Pbaiaris down to the cook at his dresser ; 
And when no other object approaches his reach. 
He will torture the parts and the idiom <^ speech t 
Hence Coopers arise to transform what was rights 
And decline and express .their verbs wrongly in ^it€ 
As idiots, from singular motives, will goad 
Their steeds to offend all who journey the road— 
Though the ddit knpws his -fisiult, yet his hope 

amase. 
And be noted for error, despairing of praise ! 
To be star'd at, or goveicn, forms all their ambition 
And but few thinkth^t Folly gives birth to Contrit 

Miss ALJ.INGHAM.—Q. G. 

YbA|^SLB.Y, ^OBJWSOK, SbWA^D, S|A1TH,;CoSI 

. and JikmB, 
Sought Uie fane of old X><lpho0» the fud to implon 

Of die bujpell'd ^d lumiuous jE^oebus : 
Thus the Godtold tbeiN^phaonilbeir.danAorousiial 
Go 4)ack and be u^tful, .loend^Wit's^lligafikin?, 

And abjure the ihime and the rebua! 

* Many of our tragic actors, and particularly Mr. KemeI 
preposter^i^Iy «aget.to aotrodiice some novel ahnudity to < 
the attention j0f ^n audience, which they proudly and jiffc 
call new readings ! and in the rage to accdmplifh this, tb( 
eternally n;^s^Hu>g^^i«i9P)ia?^ f hat cannot he. eufprce^ 
out a due knowIcc|ge of intMqtkfi.anJjnJexien, which they 
stand so imperfectly, and fender so ahruptly, as to be onl] 
^ pering or raving. 

i^belielEe that -the varue /«ftf«Mx is generally used as sigmfi 
the pride ^ sangularity, and very rarely as the result of 4 
%ioa ; and, ^1^1^ that is the -case, it must proceed from a n 
tiable emotioii of the mind ! • 



CHILDEBK OV TBB8PI8, 113. 

Thus would I with those stage-strickeiiy iUr£ited 
minxes. 
Who will all p\it on buskinsy and gabble like sphinxes; 
Teaze the Public, the Muse, and themselves, and 

Apollo, 
And muddle that bev'rage Health gave them to swal« 
low ! . ' ' - ■ 

. Without such a figure as heroines should seem-^^ 
• Without 'such an eye as should flash terror's gleam -« 
Without such address as ensbves us ^ough skiU-^ 
, With but little pretension, save beauty and will — 
Gentle Allihgham wooes us to yield her applause, 
And demands an effect without shewing a came t 

How wondrous it is that so many, engage, 
In despite of itij perils, to rush on the Stage ! 
It appears no discomfiture makes them distrest, » > 

, As they sink in esteem they *re ideally blest : 
When they 're bit, and the poison h^s rush'd through 

their veins. 
They 'U defy hisses, penalties, faxpine, and pains. ^ 

Would you, urg'd by Philanthropy, bid them return, 
And no more for inadequate mummeries l)^m^ • 
Bid them seek dad and mam, and be useful and clever, 
That their good might not be out at elbows for ever ; ,- 
vDam a vest for an aunt— dust the drawing-room chairs. 
And go dean, like sweet Nymphs, on a Sunday to 

prayers — 
They would call you a monster, rude, vulgar, ani^ low^ 
They would scorch your best wig^-they would stamp on 
your toe— 

I Put 



114 A PIV-BA8Xrr TO TR8 



Put Cayenne in your' snuff— sptU hot brath in yoar 

shoe— 
TOI9 fiiti^oed with their fottics, yott bade theiii adieu I 
As well might you bid the wild ocean be iat. 
Make a bookseller noble^ or grateful a cat. 
Dr. VmcBirT in schooUiours bum his own rod. 
Or the priest give his tithe as an offering to God* 
For your preaner heroinci yoa'irc none wlto dioiild 

dress* 
For if WaIlis nM^ MmhAf m ku. 
I regret that I caanol ptaise more tbaa I do $ 
Yet what reason, what object ^oukl anke me untme ? 
I would cherish her deed, I wouU gladden her eyc^ 
I would buttress her mune, but the wdl's bu3t too 

high; 
Much approving y^roM sink her, her huU is too fiae^ 
Like a galliot when riggM as a ^p of die Knr: 
Furl her canvass, d 'ye hear— fiudi a swe& w9I opf»«8S 

her. 
And kt her pky parts where the ferce wont disCiess 

her;— 
Make her hamom- the wind— gather in haff her sail— 
In the sterm of the scene she can't ride out the gdc ; 
if not, diellbot strtitout her yeai- ami no norr, 
Then be cast in the gutter to sedt Rain's shore; 
Trudge^rom circuit to circuit, from stable to stable, 
Till her robes are all tatter'd, and Peace cuts her cable : 
Then the heart that once fed her to meet Hctioii's ivoes^ 
ShaU be brms'S iaid nr.brai8''d by Cahmity's Vhm : 

All 



CHILDMBK OV THBfPIS. US 

■ ■■■I'll . . a ,^. , .. ■ ■ I ■!■ I - ■ .. ■ -^ 

All her prospects of happiness fede in her sights 

Like Arcadia progressively wrapt into night ; 

And that witch, guUing Hope, be of wheedling bereft» 

And nought but her skeleton then will be left :- ^ 

So unmuscledy so grun> so abhorrent, so spiteful. 

That her smil^ in the Sun to coax man shaO be frightful : 

Then Madness and Vanity '11 league as relations, 

And she 11 drown Retrospection in burning potations ; 

List to P alt's allurements,' seek Dublin, half willtng» 

And rot inn stew without fameora thilUog !^«- 

Shut the door 'gainst those iUa^-haplets wcocb, nukchev 

wise. 
Lop an inch of her ahitude—open her eyes* 
How piteous, how yaricd, 's the lot of mankind-^ 
Some have more eyes than two, while we 've some who Vc 

stark blind! 
Some will gather offence though they sleep amid, rofct t 
Some will not 'mid filth, e'en as if they 'd. not noiea ; 
Some will ambk o'er ploughshares, and yet nei«r trip ;: 
Some wiH pad o'er a lawn, and for ereunorc slip: 
Some incautiously rush where the Fates are at labor, 
And laugh safe while the hags cut the thread of a neigh> 

hour: 
While some are pre* curst by high Jove in his ire. 
And eternally fried, like beef-steaks on Doll's fire : 
There they're turn'd and rc-turu'd as that cook Folly 

wills, 
And the increase of Time but increases their ills ; 
Till that Tast gourmand, Dtath, takes the prey in hisjaw. 
And grinds Jtiu. dust to fill up Ruin's maw 1 

1 2, Mr«ft' 



Il6 A P1N-BA8RBT TO TBE 

Mr. DOWrON.^D. L. 
From Cantia*9 gay plains, and her hop-circled tow 
Where Actors, though little, seem large among dofi 
Adust Cumberland dragg'd- him, to Folly's 

mart, 
And laid high on his head ere the racer could start. 
Wc were told that his atoms were Hebrew— his ton| 
More persuasive in speech than when Solomon sung : 
But, alas ! when he came to compare with your train 
•Twai aoircumds'd Pole hatch 'd in Rosemary-lanew 
Yet let me not walk towards a verge that *8 untrue. 
Or dishonor myself in a zeal to undo : 
My objection is partial as far at I 've seen. 
And I think he may be what he has not yet been : 
His drea j made the mirror of action less dear. 
And the fear to do ill makes us do what we fear. 
His Gravi-iRgger proves him adroit at low wit. 
And his Scrub shewsliis faculties pliant .and fit : 
In \hat cast he 's at home, like a flatterer in place. 
There he stands on a ground firm as Liberty's base. 
Though he's been overpuff'd, ^ overstrain'd, . and 

hard, 
H^ 's a natui-aF claimant on Laughter's reward. 
That he '11 flourish is certain as David lov'd kisses, - 
'T is as sure as Benevolence makes her own blisses : 
Not like those who shoot up 'mid a party-rais'd din. 
Like Lombatdy poplars, tall, gawky, and thin ; 
He shall root as the ehn> if^he can't like the oak. 
And shelter the Muse with 'a wide-spreading cloak. 



ORtl.DRBN PV THX8FIS. l\T 

"'■ ' 

It IS ufg^d he *a too dry aad too costive — ^Admitted ; 
Yet this fiiHiDg shaQ make hun in fbture more fitted ; 
To underdo aught in an early attempt, 
' Speaks a modes! adrance wUdi sospcnds my contempt. 
He 's heen j^uck'd from the profincial tree iflunatoiey 
Yet the firsit is bod^whokaomcy soind^ fi^umt^ and 

pwre: 
E'en the vulgar 've not torn the coarse rind it once here,.. 
Nor has Vanitjp'lB worn gnaiw'd its way to thccorr r 
In the ray of om fiivo^r he 'IL r^e in reqnesti. 
Andy like mellow pearmaims he amu^g'd with th^besl» 
In a slate where Buffoenery *% gain'd so msch powV^ , 
H» nMrk 'k ofience» he'stood^astefer the lioar: 
Now eadb dish is x>'erdres8'd9 every palate 's sa vieiousjt 
And all that is whclesoose is held uadeficiouSk 
In a few Winters more they 'U contend for tins knack. 
And our Pbyexs wiU jufli^ over each other's back r 
Hien they '& kiek, and they 'K sprawl^ and they *& leap 

unconiin'd,, 
And the heeh ahafl remove all the daims of the mrndt 
Behold yourintmdfers — see MunnR*ry go win 'cm, i 

Why you've none wka'^e a knowledge^ of Barmony m 

'em! 
When the floor 's tessdated, the gazer well knovr* 
That vanbus eoli3Hrs> should fil varied rows : 
Aad when Macks whit^ evredfatr^efheradit'of sigfajl^ 
Though the object is partial, the end is delight : 
Oae Goibur v^ k»>moBiiDtt. tl»t which is nextt itj ^ 
A> Virtue draws strength fix>m the Vice that'pcrpRx'd it. 



118. A PIN-BASKBT TO TKS 

Half your aoldiers, commission'd or non, I'd not owii» 
They are cnish'd ia their shootings or crook'dy or half 

grown: 
They seem itunted & height and extension, like trees 
That are planted by odt on the margins of seas — 
Qr the foot of a belk 'mong the tonish of Fekin, 
Or youth drawn fronv sheets where their grannies Ge 

• reeking: ^ 

Yet thus tender, thus stunted, you place them on high, 
And dread not the storms of a critical sky. 
There are barks in a breeze will securely sail, 
But are strain'd if that breeze should increase to a gale. 
[This may seem odd ^rom^b to poin^ trash on my 

•hclf. 
But I 'm urg'd to the truth, though that truth's *gainst 

' myself: ^ 

•Alas ! I've nought left but my sighs for my dower. 
As, like Kings in some States, I 've the name, not the 

power!] 
Thus hobbling, these Insects will daringly go ' 
Up th^ Andes vast sides through a region of snow- 
Meet th' intolerant Phoebus, all glaring, at One, 
Tin they shrink from his blazes, and own they 're un- 
done : 
While the air, too sublim'd for their pect'ral machine, ' 
Makes their Inngs vomit blood, and they gasp and look 
lean ; 

They would pray, had not anguish d«nicd.what they ' 



•1 



means 

Thus 



eHILDBBK'OF THBSPIS* J 19 

\ms exhausted they 're dragg'd to the vallies below, 

id consume and expire in eminent woe !— 

IT Tragedians are wriggling, or dancing a jig, 

nd half Suett's comedy lies in — his wig : 

en John Bannister's cap'rings are txtra»natura, 

id his characters sink into caricatura : ' 

mbk Fawcet by dashing, and splashing, and noke, * 

nd o'ercharging his lungs, draws down peals of ap» 

plause ; 
e spits out heroics and dramatized fibs, 
s if he 'd been gorg'd but with crackers and squibs* 
s daubers can trace but coarse pdipable hints, 
lit cannot insert the aerial tints ; 
\ he cdpies gay Lewis's fidgets and stmts, 
id will sted all the husks though he can't sp& the 

nuts r 
hough he can't catch his graces he ^ blandish the grin, 
nd exhibits with pride ike^^original sm / 
!e boldly retails what he 's stole 'fore his doncurs, 
s thieves in Chick-lane sell kerchiefs to their owners ; 
et there 's strength in the soil, could his wit give i% 

birth, 
ut the stones of conceit hide the fat of the earth : 
rhile Wisdom looks on with a piteous* stare, 
ot to see men do well, but to see what they dare. 
r'ythee where is Lee Lewes, that friend of the Muse \ 
Hiat ninnies and blockheads you've put in his' shoes I 
[e was mightier than all — ^he'd a soul in his lay — 
^hat banish'd him hence ^^-^ZoiudQ I who drove him 

away? 



^•^ 



120 ^ nH^MXlT TO Tm 

Wrn ygmtrwigle ct^ch babe thai has grace, mthebiith?: 

Have 70U taken a» oath to repudiate Worth ^ 

Art we dooaa'd bm to listen to Sngdthfiek^boni q«irks I 

Have a Cbarl^km^t promiae aad Scarammtch jerks } 

Now &A99«i<bt\ P4asQM>> aad WlL80^^ a»dI]oDD» 

Are arrested and tbmfe 'oeath Eternity^ sod : 

Why scad not yoivr heralds objifuiag about. 

To arovsf hiai if dormaat-^to fiad theQUef e«l > 

Sure you 11 crush not what's greats as the Rvsa did the 

Poles, 
Tin regiet a^d diHccaiweav' the pile bem the^ sovli \ 
Till the cave ^^ mxA becomes Ibstid aad daasp^ } 
Till neglect has dried up aH the oil of iha hmip i 
Forbid it, ye Ub«nl7^&)ibid ^ ye good*<-> 
Yqv miMt pardoQ tlnese tiear»^I am notauUfo ef woodl" 
When King and when Quick, in next ceat'Vy, decay, 
A^d R^QWDtlMa hicr puEeak ^iseiplea la clay^^ 
Sober MuNDEN shall tak» ^e> batoaia his haadv. 
While T^Mt api^Iawk aahe goes taeoaftxaaad;. 

* The aQting of tbaUte Mc. Baddilby,. a* it scl4oq& eXJ^Md'sB) 
eBthutip#tk bunu of apphuue, to it leat freqocmtlY incarre<t censure 
Whatever part Mr. B. accepted, he always studied it ^h atten* 
tion, and never came forward iji. it less perfect than i^t a|>.MV« 
after long repetidion ; meanwhile, KkemaBy of hik brethren, he wa 
strongly Uncturci >yi);K«««W : U»s i» hi^tj. w% r^^^^pMrs^ VI 
Frenchman wanted all the levity of the ch^uracter,. which is aocfaard* 
ingly roaq^g^dtbiy Yi^|:>»i;T9AJi, wbais^ ah«>oAly actor thorougU] 
i^quaifitied wit^ ti}e i.4i.QmL^ ^il cki^fd^mmre yofi tifC-Q/twmmfgt 
of the theatrical tribe, of which J&j«, in \}tit School for S^amdu^ t 
the cl^^nr-9^vi|!t.<^ ai«n.iaaoaMdyiSttitod him-MwIi^lkit wlhef« 
the colouring of the author wa% veqr s^ofi,, bQ Trtf 'tefi rfflfi'ftg*' 
. ing the nec^stary touches. He was^ hoYfcver. a mo»tusc^ act»i 

9« 



CHILDRBK OF TUESPI8. 121 

Had he half his deserts he 'd be now what he's not ; 
But a^ Truth's out of date, he must bend to his lot : 
He 's been mending for years in expression and mien^ 
Like a man between hills he movos onward unseen. 
But how is he us'd> who thus sweetens your days ? 
While he mounts the breach, tome vile loon, steals the 

praise. 
So in armies, while heroes through blood wade and fightf 
Scale the fortress, and take it in Horror's despite. 
Some illustrious dolt a league off views the game. 
Then does them the honor to take — all the fame ! 
He 'a no paper to write on but's smear'd o'er viath blots i 
£v'ry board he must plane is immingled with knots : 
While others steer ships, be must trim only rafts ; 
Be the team what it may, he 's the horse in the shafts : 
He is always up bill — he '% the cUr in the wheel ^ 
He 's the theatric Sisyphus, curs'd in his zeal : 
He's continually shouldering up stones 'fore the Town^ 
Yet his skill 's so confess'd that they seldom roll dovim* 
When Death is upbraided for seizing so often 
Those Comedians Fate strtmg human mis'ry to soften, 
He shall prate of our Munden with hell-temper'd voice**- 
Sb^ke his dart in terrorentf and.bid us rejoice ! 

Mrs. LEE.^^. G. 

ttow oft it occurs that the wolsey-clad maid. 
Who of the circuitous breeze seem'd afraid ; 
Who peep'd, like a rose-bud, to gladden the sense ; 
Who felt not the arts, nor the sting of offence i 

Who 



122 ' A ftir-BASKBT TO THE 



Who sanff her rude ditdet whOe nulking the kine ; 
Who, knowing no guHe, had a mien most diTiae-*- 
Will learn from the tales of the viOage, that manf 
A Nymph flaunts in town who before lack'd a penny. 
Her ear drinks the wonder— licr pulse but betrayi-^ 
And she mounts in the waggon that^/^n nine days! 
Descends 'mid the filth and the tumult of Pride- 
Drinks her noggin with Guilty is diseas'd and decried ; 
Coils on steps^ in the m'ghty though once ftuhion'd Ct 

pkascos. 
And rots undeplor'd 'midn^hi/offomn tf Jamil 

'Tis thus with the spinsters who flirt in thji age-^ 
They spurn sampler and pray'r-book, and ^ant fiyr tk 

stage: 
Like demoniacs* all slip-shod they madden and-sponftf 
While the spider's unbmsh'd, and tha pqddiBg nua 

out (-— 
Seise the dagger and bowl* to infirmity bUn^ 
And beeome but the scorn or the jesf of mankind I 

Be Asperity dumb — lo ! a Nymph moves aloo^^ 
Meritorious Lbb, who's suppress'd in her song. 
Sure the finger of Malady 's smote her fine form—- 
She looks bruis'd, like a reed roughly us'd by the ttorau 
When Hygcia re-strings her, and fills her, and streaks, 
Like a ripened juic'd apple, her wan, roseless cheeks ; 
Then we *ll bring her to judgment — as yet she 'a unfilt 
To be true to heisclf, or enforce what is writ* 
Yet amidst this susj^nston of rigor, I see 
Man^ valuable points d«ar to you or to me : 

Shc;i 



C8ILDXSN Of THSfns. 123 



She's exceedifiglygraeeful, tfaiough wcaik 'mid tha^ grace. 
And her smile hasiu chmaiy though the bioom'a left 

herfecc: 
Let Hope bftng her oor^ak to pfop her^ and tiy 'em-* 
As that flatt'rer 's officious she '11 sure not deny 'em! 

The TNING^^D. L. 

^ affile foot. 
C A «r this be a man, whik Disdain 9a ponact hint i 
How Modesty sweats as she wonders and tiews him ( 
Pert, wrtggKngy and Tain-^braggiig'y ^tunnWAg) and" 

meaoy 
How he hangs, like your filth, on thie edge of each seene ! 
This contemptiUe Si^-Dscl was sent to beiHghi us ; 
Lo ! he jumps round the Stage as if bit by Samt T^tus ! 
The duO^rukhg'tt^abfmdYeSkmi the GavBty 
And fiseds on their spittle, and swallows their snubs* 
Were he kicked tmA re-kick'd, ^ton't he pocket the 

knocks. 
And re-fliount, his own man, like a Jadk In a: box f ' 
Sec he crawk^ and is bor'd like a plate 'neath t&s burin ; 
He's a niche m the dark where we aS go and urine, 
Hatcyou ni» mask* of metal to cover that sane 
Ign'rant vagrant's thick foirehead that never knew shame? 

How 

. The use of Masks was ficst introduced into Greece by i£tcbylus ; 
but Diomedes tells US| that it was one &08cius Callus who first 
wore a Mask on the Roman Stage, to conceal the 'defect of- his 
squinting i though he doth not let us know when this Roscius 

lived. 



124 A riV-BASKBT TO THE 



How hard be begs aJmSf to uphold hia vUe state. 
Then displaying your ducats, struU wide at your gate : 
Scorn sticks, like a bur, to a gift, when they mump it, 
Or Jove's scalding curse to the breech of a strumpet. 

Would 

lived. This custom hat been preserved in part on some modem 
Suget; for i gmt many Pcsonaget of the Italian Comedy ut 
na.skcd. Though wc have never obliged our Actors to imitatetlui 
practice of the Ancients, yet it is not a long while since Miski 
were fiequently used on the French Suge in the rcpresentitio* of , 
Coined ic*. They have also been used even in Tragic Repicsetf- 
tions i and though they have been since banished from thence, ytt 
they are not entirely expelled the French Comedies. The aDcicBt 
Players were all ma^rd when they acted, and each kind of dra- 
matic Poctiy had its particular Mask. In a Treatise written by 
Lucian, ana intitlcd The Gymnasium ^ which is by way of dis- 
logue between Solon and Anacharsis the Scythian, the latter isys to 
Solon, who liad been speaking to him of the utility of Tragm 
and Comedies, *' I have seen some of them at the BacchawdiaoEn-- 
tcrtainmrnts. In Tragedy the Actors are mounted on a kind of 
stilts, and wear Masks, the mouths of which ^pe enormoaily 
wide. The words that arc uttered from them with a great noisCi 
are grave and sententious. In Comedy the Actors, who are sbod 
and dressed as people in common life, do not bawl out so loud, 
but their Masks are much more ridiculous than those of the for* 
mer. 

True it is that by means of these Masks the Actor appeared as 
conformable as he pleased to the Character he assumed. The an- 
cient Players, as well in I'ragcdy as Comedy, had several sons of 
Masks which they frequently chan^d. For the people belonging 
to the Stage were so strongly of opinion in those times, that a par- 
ticular physiognomy was essential to the Character of a Personage, 
a& to think it neccfsary to give the figure of the Mask proper for the 
representation, in order to communicate a complete knowledgeof 
the Character of the Personage. After the description, therdore, 
cFeach Person, such as they used to prefix to their Theatrical 
Pieces under the title of Dramatis Persona^ it was customary for 
them to ^ve the figure of the Masks r which appeared to them a 
necessary mstruction. 

In effect, those Masks represented not only the face, but fike- 
wisc the head entire, whether narrow or broad, bald or covered 
with hair, rouna or poitjtcd. 

The 



1 



CHltDREN OP T&S8M8* * 12;i 

Would you ask what, it is, y ou *d be answer'd, None 

know- 
Is 't a bug ? is 't an ass ? is *t a viper or crow ? 
So the cuttle, pursued, spits a slime from its lungs. 
Foul and black as Hell's chimnies, or fish-women's 

tongues : 

The use therefore of Masks prevented people from seeing an 
Actor advanced in years play the part of a young Lover. Hippoli- 
tus, Hercules, and Nestor, appeared always upon the Stage v^ith 
their heads distinguishable by being suited to their known Charac- 
ter. The Vizard under which the Actor appeared was always 
agreeable to his Character ; and there wa«\ no such thing to be seen 
as a Player acting the part of a Man of Honor with the physio- 
gnomy of an accomplished Villain. ** When the composers of De- 
clamation (says Quintilian) introduce a Piece upon the Stage, they 
know how to draw the Pathetic even from the very Masks. In 
Tragedies Niobe appears with a sorrowful Countenance, and Me- 
dea announces her Character by the fierce air of her physiognomy. 
Strength and valour are painted on Hercules's Mask ; while that of 
Ajax proclaims his transport and fury. In Comedies the Masks 
of Slaves, Pimps, Parasites, Peasants, Soldiers, old Women, 
Courtezans, and She-Slaves, have each their particular Character. 
By the Masks we distinguish the cross old Fellow from the good- 
natured old Gentleman ; the sober Youth from the debauched 
Rake ; and the young Damsel from the Lady of Quality. If the 
Father, who acts the principal character of the Comedy, is to be 
sometimes pleased and sometimes vexed, he must have one of the 
brows of the Mask knit, and the other smooth ; and he has a par- 
ticular attention to shew that side of his Mask to his spectators, 
which agrees with his present Character " *Tis thus Mr. Boinden 
explains the last lines of the passage of Quintilian, by supposing 
that the Comedian who wore the Mask tuined himself somelimcs 
one way, and sometimes another, to shew always that side of his 
face which suited his present situation, when he acted Parts where 
he was allowed to shew a change of passion without being obliged 
to go behind the Scenes to change his Mask. For example, if this 
Father was pleased upon the Stage, he presented immediately that 
side of his Mask which had a smooth brow ; and when his temper 
-was altered, he walked on the Stage, and managed so as to shew 
that side of the Mask which had the knit brow, taking care in both 
situations to appear always in profile. " The Roman Comedians 



126 A PIir-BA8K£T TO THB 

Self-envek>p'd it steals from the ken of its foes. 

And is safe in repulsion wherever it goes ! — 

Let the wretch hare his crust— >can Contempt make him 

less? 
I may war with a Reptile, but not with Dutrm! 

M 

(continues Qsintilian) had a patttcular attention to this part of 
their art." We meet with something in Julius PoUux, which 
•eems to confirm this ingenious and judicious conjecture. This au* 
thor, speaking of the characterized Masks, says that an old Man's 
Mask, who acu the principal part in a Comedy, ought to be sour 
mnd raffled on one side, and pleasant and serene on the other. The 
snie author ta)rs, in regard to the Masks of Tragedies which ou^ht 
to be characterised, that the Mask of Thamyris, that rash musicua 
whom the Muses deprived of his sight for having been co insolent ss 
to challenge them^ ought to have one eye blue and the other black* 

The Masks of the Ancienu produced likewise a great probability 
in those excellent Plays where the intricacy arises from the misukie 
by which some of the Actors take one Personage for the other. The 
spectator, who fomid himself mistaken upon attempting to distia^ 
guish between two Actors, whobe Masks were as like as possiUe^ 
might easily conceive that the Actors themselves were deceived* 
Thus he was soon imposed upon by the sup^sition on which the 
' incidents of the Piece are founded ; whereas this supposition is 
so very improbable with us, that 'tis with ^eat difficulty we gife 
way to it. 'Tis owing therdTore to the habit we have of humoring 
sU the suppositions which custom has established on the Stage, that 
we fall in with those which constitute the intricacy of the Amphy- 
trio ; and I should be far from advising any body to con^pose a new 
C«roedy, the intrigue of which should consist in the like per* 
plexity. 

Besides, the Masks furnished the Ancients with the opportunity 
of making men act those female Personages, whose declamation 
lequired robuster lungs than women generally have, especially when 
they were to make themselves heard in such spacious places as the 
Aoman Theatres. In fact, several passages of the Ancients, and 
among the rest a recital which Aulas Gellius (vii. 5.) gives of the 
adventure that happened to a Comedian whose name was PoIuSf 
who acted the Personage of Electra, inform us that it was custom- 
ary for the Ancicntt to make men act female Characters. (See p. 
187, col. X.) 

By 



CHILIMtBir OP TUE8P1S. t27 

All hail, mighty Impudence, bloated and grand. 
Thou bully of Fortune — ^thou type of the land ; 
To thee a]l distinction, all matter is vain. 
The thesis of schools, or the toil of the brain ; 

Yott 

By means of those Masks they introducect all sorts of fbreign na- 
tions on the Stage wiih their own peculiar Physiognomy. The 
Mask of a red-haired Batavian, says Martial^ which raises y^us 
laughter, is a bug-bear to children, 

*— — rufi persona Batavi— 
Quem tu derides ; h«c timet ora pucr. 

Those Masks furnished even Lovers with an opportunity of payix^ 
a c >mpliment to their Mistresset« Suetonius informs us, that when 
Nero mounted the Stage in order to represent a God ortt Hero, h& 
wore a Mask made after his own visage ; but when he acted the part 
of some Godde?s or Heroine, he then wore a Mask which resembled 
the woman he actually loved. 

Jultus Pollux (Onoraast. iv. iS.}, who composed his Work for. 
the Emperor Commodus, assures us that in the ancient Greek Co« 
medy, which had assumed the liberty of characterizing and acting 
Kving citizens, the Actors wore a Mask which resembled the person 
they represented in the Play. Thus Socrates might have seen on the 
Athenian Stage an Actor who wore a Mask that was like him, whfco 
A^stopUanes represented him under the name of Socrates, tn toe 
Comedy of the Clouds, This same Pollux gives us, in the abovo- 
cited chapter, a very long aud curious detail concerning the different 
Characters of Masks which were used in Comic and Tragic repre* 
sentations. 

But on the other hand, the Masks deprived the Spectators of the 
pleasure of seeing the passions rise, and of discerning their dificreot 
symptoms on the countenance of the Actors. All uie expressions 
of the human passions affect us ; but tho^e Masks which are oainted 
on the visage make a far greater impression, as Quintilian observes 
(dominatur autem maxme vultus^ xi. 3.) than such as shew them« 
selves only by the gesture and voice. 

And yet the ancient Comedians could not display the signs of the 
passions on the countenance, for they very seldom laid aside the 
Mask, and even some Comedians n^ver put it off at all. It is true 
indeed, we suffer our Comedians to conceal one half of such mark* 
of the passions as may be expressed on the countenance. These 
marks consist as much in the changes that happen in the colour of 
K 8 the 



128 A UN-BASKET TO THE 

You can fearlessly dash out the records of ages, 
Clip the pinions of Time, and throw dirt at the Sages ; 
Who stalks over virtue and braves in the van; 
Contemner of elements, morals> and man ; 

Not 

the face, as in those which arc made of the features. Now the red 
paint, with which it hath boen customary within these few years 
even for men to daub themselves before they appear on the Stage, 
kiuders us from perceiving the changes of colour which make so 
great and natural an impression. But the Masks of the ancient Co- 
medians concealed aho the aheration of the features, which the 
paint does pot. 

This indeed may be said in defence of the Mask, that it does not 
conceal the eyes of the Comedians from the Spectator. Now if 
it be true chat the passions are more cliscernible by the alteradon^ 
which happen in our countenance than by those which appear in 
our gesture, attitude, and tone of voice, 'tis likewise true that the^e 
passions are still more distinguishable by the changes that happca 
in our eyes, than by what appears in the other parts of the face* 
Our eyes alone are capable of repveseniing distinctly what passes ia 
the countenance, and render it, if I may say so, entirely visible^ 
notwithstanding the Mask. The imagination supplies what liei 
concealed ; and when we behold the eye iired with rage, we ima* 
gtne we see the rest of the countenance ii^flamed. Several passages 
of Cicero ai.d Quintiliau shew, that the ancient Actors expressed 
perfectly all the signs of the passions by the motion of their eyes, 
assisted by the attitucjc and gestuiV^s. The same may be saidf of 
those Italian Comedians who use Masks upon the Stage, ** The 
soul (as Quintilian obseives, Inst. xi. 3.) is painted on the coun- 
tenance ; and the eyes are, of all parts of the face, that which speakf 
to us, as it were, most intelligibly." 

I shall adhere, nevertheless, to the simplest opinion ; for I really 
think it impossible for a masked Actor to express so well as be 
who uses no Mask, the greatest part of the passions, and especially 
those of the tender kind. The Comedian who acts without a Mask 
may employ all the methods of expressing the passions which the . 
masked t*laycr uses, and he is capable also of shewing passions 
which arc not in the other's power. I fancy, therefore, that the 
Ancients, who had so great a relish for the representation of the- 
atrical pieces, would have made their Comedians lay aside their 
Masks, had it not been for one reason ; which was, that as their 
Theatres were very large, and without a roof for solid covcrijig, 
the Mask was of great use to thd Comedian, inasmuch as it enabled 
kirn to make himself heard by all the Spectators ; whilst, on the 

other 



CHILDREN OF THESFIS* 12^' 

.'•••> ■ ' ■ ■ ■ ■ . « . . . m : 

Not withheld by compunction to stop at half measures) 
You plunge through all filth and uphold bestial pleasures; 
Or mortal, or sacred, you spurn each behest. 
And rush on to the issue to die or be blest : 

How 



' hand, it deprived the latter of no great advantagtf. In fact, 
k was impossible that the alterations of the countenance, which ther 
ifask conceals, shoald be distinctly perceived by the Spectators, 
a greit number of whom were upwards of twelve fathoms distant 
from (he Player. Let os explain the reason which I have here 
aU»d. 

GelHus, who wrote under the Emperor Adrian, commends the 
etyxnok^ which Caius Bastus gave of the Latin word fersonM^ 
wmcb signifies a Mask, by making this term come from the verl> 
pers^natty which implies to resound. 

** In fact (says he) the face and the whole head being inclosed 
mider the cover of the Mask, insomuch that the voice eanniOt 
s»ke its way but by one narrow passage, it follows that this con- 
straint of the voice must produce a stronger and clearer sound. 
Hence the Latins have given the name of ptrsma to Masks whicli 
fender the voice of those who wear them more distinct and so* 
Acmms." (Nocu Att. v. 7.) Whether Bassus was right or liot ih 
his etymology, is nothing at all to our purpose. 'Tis sefficient 
for us that Gellius would neither have commended nor adopted it^ 
had not the Masks in his days been a kind of echoes. Boetius con^ 
firms his opinion' by saying, thsit the concavity of the Mask aug« 
mentt the force o^ the voice. 

Nebody can pretend to question, after having read these p>t- 
sages of Gellius and fioeiius, who wrote what they were eye* 
witnesses of every day, that the Ancients made use of Masks to in- 
crease the sound of the voice. I fancy they fastened to the mouth , 
an incrustation which formed a kind of horn. 

We find by the figures of Masks in aneient manuscripts, as also 
by those engraved stones and medals, and in the ruins of the Thea- 
tre of Marceilus, and several other monuments, that the opening 
at the mouth was very wide, being a kind of gaping mouth whic-b 
frightened children. 

The Ancients, in all probabilt^, would not have sniFered thiA , 
deformity in their Maskx, if they had not reaped some benefit 
from It ; and I cannot see in what this benefit could consist, unlets 
it wdre in the convcniency of being better able to fasten the boms 
propel^ for rendering the vgice of the Actors more sonorous. 

We see, moreover, by a passage of Quintilian, that the mouth 
•f the Mtsk Btde sa great an akeratioa ia life tali%h«et ^^te ^^^ 
K 3 '^'^ 



130 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 



How you deal stars and garters, and baubles and feathers^ 
And all the iosignia for oafs in all weathers ; 
How an army of worshippers leap o'er your pales^ 
Crawl in at the windows and over the rails : 

M. D.'s 

tor, as to rtnder it a very disagreeifile noise. This Author, acl« 
vising Orators to examine well their natural talents, in order to 
imbibe a taste of dealamation agreeable to those talents, says, it is 
possible to please with different qualities. He adds, that be has 
seen two famous Comedians equally applauded, tbougb their 
manner oT declaiming was very different ; but each had consulted 
hit inclination and talents in that manner of acting which he had 
pitched upon. Demetrius, one of those Comedians whom Ju- 
venal ranks amon^ the best of his time, and who had a very agree- 
able voice, chose for his part the personages of Divinities, Ladies of 
Distinction, indulgent Fathers, and fond Lovers. Stratocles, the 
other Comedian, who is mentioned also by Juvenal, had a rough 
voice. He applied himself, therefore, entirely to act the characters 
•f austere Fathers, Parasites, roguish Servants, and in short of all 
those personages which require a great deal of action. His gesture 
was lively, his motions animated, and he ventured to do several 
things capable of drawing the hisses of the House upon any other ] 
Actor but hi<nself. Ooe of those bold things which Stratocles ven- I 
turcd to do, was to laugh, *' though he was very sensible (says 
Quintilian} of the reasons why laughing produces a disagreeable 
effect in a Mask.*' Laughter is not a disagreeable thing of iuelf 
in a comic scene. A great fit of laughing roust have echoed there- 
fore in such a manner in the mouth of the Masks, as to produce 
a very disagreeable sound. This could not have happened if the 
'mouth and neighbouring parts of the inside of the Mask had not 
been covered with a hard sonorous body, which made some alter- 
ation in the natural sound of the voice. 

I shall venture -to give here a conjecture entirely new, which may 
clear up a passage of Pliny that has been hitherto misunderstood : 
This is, that the Ancients, after having made use of brass to in- 
cru^tate the Masks, employed afterwards for the same purpose 
very thin plates of marble. Pliny, speaking of curious stones, says, 
^hat the stone called calcafonos, or brass-sounding ^ is black, and 
that, according to the etymology of its name, it produced, upoa 
being touched, a sound like that of the metal. ** Wherefore (con- / 
tinucs he, xxxvii, xo.') the Comedians are advised to make use of 
it.*' Now what use could the Comedians have made of a stone 
with this property, were it not to incrusUte a part of the mouth 
mi their Masks, after it had been 9awed into very thin plates ? Those 

Masks 



CHILDREN OP THESPISf 131 

- ^ u ' ' 

M. D.'s— L. L. D.'s— D. D.'s— F. R/Ij.'s, 

With their perukes immense, and fools' jackets and dresses^ 

How, aided by you, they can triumph and lie. 

And raise up a mist 'fore the Region's broad eye ; 

How 

Masks which were of wood, as we learn from a poem of Pruden- 
tiua against Symmachus, were very proper for receiving this incrus- 
tation. " Those who recite in Tragedies (says our poet) cover their' 
heads with a wooden Mask, and by the contrivance of the open- 
ing they pour forth their turgid declamation :" 

Ut tragicus cantor ligno tegit ora cavato, 
Grande aliquid cujus'per hiatum carmen anhelet. 

Solinus, who wrote some time after Pliny, seems to inform us of 
the reason why the use of this stone was preferable to brass in the 
inward incrustation of a part of the Mask. It is, that in the repercus- 
sion of the voice it does not alter the clearness of the sound, where- 
as the resounding of the brass throws always some confusion in the 
sound it reverberates. After observing that the brass sounding 
stone resounds like this metal, he adds, that it does not obstruct 
the clearness of the voice when it is used with discretioo. 

We are able to judge of the attention the Ancients had to what- 
ever they thought capable of adding either ornament or ease to the 
execution of their theatrical pieces, by what Vitruvius tells us 
(v. 5.) concerning the manner of placing the echaa, or brazen ves« 
sels proper for the echoes. This author, speaking of the architect 
ture of the Theatres, enters into a very long and met^dical detail 
in relation to the form of those vessels (which, in all probability, 
were nothing more than round concave plates of brass), as well as 
. to the places where they were to be fixt, that the- voice of the Actor 
might nave a clearer and more tunable echo. He tells us that all' 
those vessels ought to be of different tones ; whereby he plainly in- 
dicates that the opening and the other dimensions ought not to be 
the samfe; and as those vessels were placed at different distances 
from the Actor, they must have been more or less easy to vibrate, 
in order to answer in concert. The same Author complains that 
the Romans in his time neglected to place those echad in their 
Theatres, in imitation of ^he Greeks, who were very exact in this 
point. Very likely the Romans followed afterwards Vitruvius's 
advice, for Pliny complains (xi. 52.) that the vessels and vaults 
in which they were placed absorbed the Actor's voice. He pre- 
tends that they had as bad an effect as the arena of the Orchestra, that 
is, of the space between the Suge and the foremost row of the spec- 
tators. Oa the other hand* Cassiodorui ob«ent« ^. ^v,^ ^^oax ^«. 



132 € FIN-BASKET TO TRS 

How they paint their delusionSf aad trim up their shops ! 
Hovr they feed callow mangiids with bitters and sops 1 
How John Bull 's ramm'd and cramm'd^ tiH his sto« 

mach turns from it ; 
How he pukes, then goes back, like a dog to his vomit ! 

While 

voice of those who acted in Tragedies being stren^bened by the 
cavities, produced such a sound as one would scarce imagine could 
come from a human breast. Thos^^oncavicies could be nothing 
else but the ech^ta and the horn of the Mask. We may judge by 
the attention the Ancienu had to these things, whether they neg- 
lected to search im every Kind of invention that might enable the 
theatrical Masks to produce the effect, which, accordfuig to Geliiasi 
had given them the name of persona. 

If the ancient writers could have foreseen that future generationa 
would have been so much at a loss to explain things which were sa 
easy to them bv reason they saw them every day, or because every 
boay had booJLs that ^aye methodical accounu of tbeoa, they 
would have been more circumsUntial in their narratioiM ; but they 
imagined that posterity would be always in the way of being in* 
formed of the jubjea (hey spoke of ; for which reason they seldom- 
naeationed any moie conceminfE it than was necessary to support 
an argument, to ground a comparisoni to explain a circumstanccr 
or to give a reason of an etymology. £ven those who have wrote 
metbc^cally on Poetry, Architecture, and several other aits, judg? 
ing it would be unnecessary to commence their leasoninga and in* 
atruaionS with a previous description of what was visible to all the 
worldt fall directly into precepts and discussions wbick their co» 
temporaries found very clear, but are a kind of enigma to poste- 
rity, because the torch which gave light to their cotemporariet it 
extinguished. For example: as the Ancients have not left us a 
descnption of the inside of the Coliseum, ArchitecU are siiU in 
doubt concerning the nature of the inward distribution of the third 
floor, though the two first are yet almost entire. For the very same 
vcason Antujuarians are at a loss how to explain a great many things 
in relation to the Masks, which would not be the case, perhaps, had 
we not lost the books that Dionysius of Halicamasaua, Rufus, and 
•everal ctther ancient writers, wrote concemiog the Theatres and 
aceaic represenUtioas. They would at leaat have instructed us in 
sespeet to several things that have escaped our knowledge, though 
liiey happened not to give us a thorough insight snt» every thing.. 
The reader will fi»d a catalogue of those writcra whose books have 
perished, in the faurlk ehapi«r ci the first part of a Treatise catKerm^ 
^ sic TAeatrts ofth< Ancitnts^ wriuen by Boulanger the Jesuit. 



CHILDREN OP THESPIS, 133 

While Virtue lies couchant and shrinks as they pass, -| 
And so hunger'd she begs from each confident ass ; f 
But if any throw aught, what they throw is mere brass. ^ 
Thy egregious Son, nine times brazen'd, is blest; 
He can mangle each portrait and stifle each jest ; 
He would burst in Jove's presence when knitting the 

Seasons, 
And question his powers, and ask him for reasons ; 
Pick his teeth with his bolts, bid the Furies lie quiet. 
And clean his posteriors with Heaven's last fiat ; 
He M sully the Thund'rer, then listlessly wipe him, 
And give Eolus crabs to inflate him and gripe him ; 

But we know enough to conceive that the Ancients found the 
Masks of great use, by rendering the Players capable of making 
themselves heard in Theatres which had no solid covering, and 
where there were several spectators at twelve fathoms distance from 
the Stage. Befidcs, as we have already observed, the Masks de- 
prived the Spectators of no great advantage ; for near two thirds 
of them were at too great a distanee to perceive the effect of the 
passions on the countenance of the Players, at least distinctly enough 
to behold them with pleasure. It is impossible to distinguish those 
expressions at a particular distance, at which one may be capable 
nevertheless of discerning the age and other remarkable traits of 
the character of a Mask. An expression must have been made 
with very .frightful grimaces to be rendered discernible to the 
Spectators at above five or fix fathom distance from the Stage. I 
shall only add, that the ancient Players did not act like ours, by 
the help of artificial lights, which illuminated the Theatre on aU 
sides, but by the ass'stance of day-light ; which must have left a 
great many shades upon the Stage, as the light came in chiefly 
from the top. Now the justness and accuracy of declamation frc» 
^uently requires the alteration of the traits, in which the expres- 
sion consists, to be hardly visible. This is what happens in par- 
ticular circumstances, when the Actor breaks out involuntarily into 
some external demonstration of his passion. Considering the 
imm»*nsity of the London Theatres, I recojnmend the revival of 
Masks, at least for the benefit of Spectators in the Galleries^ 

He 



134 A PIK-»ASKET TO THE 



He would ratte amid Gods his presumptuous head. 
While the whole Areopagus trembled with dread ; 
Stalk to Jove's inmost chamber and lift up the latch. 
And bid the skies Lord make a hast in a catch ; 
He would transcribe the day*book of Fate (could he write ^ 
Seize Juno, and ask for immortal delight ; 
Snatch Hebe's rich cup— mouth her bosom oi snow. 
Then bear the bold theft to some harlot below. 
Surely Nature so kneads the vile heart we deplore. 
That the sweet milk of kindness can't traverse the core ; 
And in the sharp acids of Rancour will steep it, 
As Germans besour their cabbage to keep it I 
Presumption alone seems to govern on earth. 
For the Icari brave us to death from our birth v 
Their mind, as they phrase it, they saucily tell utj. 
Thus Philip was greeted by base Donatellus : 
No thought of their own vile unworthiness seema 
To correct them awake, or admonish in dreams \ 
Headlong they rush forward in Infamy's snare. 
And do, like the bully, these things 'cause— they daref 
Ah, would they were btfrons in Nature's despite. 
To speak fair to the sense, but blaspheme out of sight ; 
For the beast rules the man, it were piteous to blend 'cm^ 
Yet the dogmas of great Possidonius can't mend 'cnu 
Some Students rush into a circle proposing 
A theme, over which they've been dreaming and dozing,. 
They 'U evince a hot brairt, as if madness were la it. 
And with ardor display wliat they've known — ^but a mi* 
nutej 

Take 



CaxirDR£jK OF TUBSPIS, 135 

Take th' advantage of Wisdom, ere Thought 'sutnes hit 

place. 
And, with pertness, press on their superiors' disgrace i 
They'll swear 'tis Phlogiston that pillars all life. 
Or insist there is none with a^ similar strife : 
Were e'en Fate in the council, they'd prate without dread^ 
While Pallas, in deference, hung down her head ; 
Though 'tis prov'd in the issue such swell'd, smoiiing 

fools, 
Are the scoff of th' ohservant — the rubbish of schools i 
Yet without an examen, each pig and his bristles, 
Would pass as sublime, not an ass chewiiig thistles. 
When such brazen oaflings promote an inquiry, 
There are few who 'U be satisfied viewing their diary t 
As Priests in their dread of Religion^s destruction, 
Prate themselves into doubts for the Atheist's in^ruction ; 
And when they have made for their backs a new rod. 
The h.t Prelacy call it—- defending their God. 
Fr'ythee growl not another's more splendid than thee. 
As all that they are you may rapidly be : 
* In those folds of the drapery accident made, 
We see much meet the light, and much more in the shades 
Yet the texture is equal in all, 'tis confest. 
Though the beauty of some is thus partial supprest^ 
But the cause ever varying we soon shall behold 
The reiverseof what is in each undulate fold^ 
And e'en thus will it be till that Ruin we dread 
Tears the web with her fangs and unravels each^ thread* 
Be calm, beating heart, with thy sorrows grow cold. 
That the altar 's prophan'd and God's mandates are sold $ 

That 



136 A PiN-fiASKET TO THB 

That the Fool and hU folly — ^that Guilt and his lie, 
Can extract the big tear from Propriety's eye ; 
That Pimps ^nd that Parasites, Poltroons and Sots, 
May stamp on that turf where past Excellence rots ; 
That the gale which flits by^oes not sicken their breath. 
Arrest all their functions, and give them to death. 
Should his Grace stab a parish^ who'd punish his Grace? 
All the Statutes would change to new-model his case ; 
'T would be prov'd the plebeians deserv'd such a death; 
Besides, who would presume to rob Dukes of their breath? 
Don't the Judge menace trespassing matrons who 're poor, 
While we've chairs and bouquets for a murderous whore! 
That dolt's hung who steals geese from a heath for his use, 
Yet those laugh who steal common and all from the goose! 
What an aera of bliss ! what a lovely domain ! 
How Samaritans mingle to overwhelm Pain ! 
Oh happy delusion of exquisite dulness, 
Lo, the dolts of the realm are all mark'd by their fulness! 
Bid the mandrake kiss Phoebus and live as his Coy 
For the owl is our symbol, and Monks gild our woe ; 
Philosophy 's stak'd to be burnt on Burke's spit. 
And old women in judgment expatriate Wk. 
That epocha is come which their fathers foretold, 
W^hen honor and fame should be barter'd for gold; 
When Saturn should freeze all the organs of sense ; * 
When a satire on fraud should be deem'd an offence ; 
When his iron dominion should horror impart, 
And burst every nerve in Integrity's heart : 
Lay waste all Parnassus, abridge Glory's force. 
And poison each stream from the Pierian source : 

Benumb, 



ClitL]!>'REN OF THB8*19. l$f 

Benumb, wkh a mildew, the flowrets of Worth ; 
Infuse Faith to be ^uU'd, and gi\e Infamy birth { 
Array Vice as an angel — each Muse as a trull— 
And bind with wreathed poppies the National Scull : 
Extinguish the flame and the ardor of Youth-— 
And envelope in night all the beauties of Truth : 
Chain the Arts as vile felons — yield Folly a feast — 
And givelhera to bleed by the knife of the Priest 
JEnforce a lewd banquet to stun ev'ry sigh — 
Ajid glut garrulous Echo with songs as tfeey die. 

Mrs. GOOD ALL.-— 1>. L." 
Was not that? --Yes it was, lowly Good At L vvh<) 
crost ! 
S4ic looks like Aphrodite bit by a frost : 
. Yet we'll tenderly note any error she's wrought. 
As she really thinks less of herself than she ought ; 
«A.nd that is a failing so rare in this age> 
In any department, as well as the Stage, 
ThataJl should endeavour to strengthen her state, 
And make her more confident, firm, and elate ; 
Forefend her ^y Art against weak'ning J>i«d4i(inf 
As Surgeons force blood into Malady's vein. 
Yet we will not be partial in probing the lady. 
Or copy the Scots * in their Encychpedk : 

Oh! 

.♦ TiJtf Scottish Stage. 

The theatdcal representations of Scotland, in common with the 

rest of Britain, originated in the Church. At the restoration of 

Charles II. the Stage first laid c'.aim to popular attention. The 

tiiuon of the sister kingdoms under Queen Anne, and Che rebel- 

L lion 



136 A PIK-BASKET TO THE 



Oh ! thrice happy realm for a native's probation, 
Where the sageling or sage is upheld by a naiton ! 

She 's a contraiiistinciLon, like Mars when defeated^ 
Andy from having too little, appears too conceited. 

As 

lion of 1 7 15, caused a general commotion, during which the 
Drama was entirely ncj^lcctcd. Shortly after that period Signora 
Violantc, an Italian lady, notorious for her feats of agilitj, came 
with her troop from Dublin, and opened a house in Cormber's- 
close, Edinburgh. In the year 1727 the magistracy of the capi- 
tal, excited by the clamours of a fanatic priesthood, prohibited 
them from acting within the limits of their jurisdiction. A few 
succeeding years after this, an itinerant Company ventured to 
perform at the Taylors*-hill, in the Cow-gate ; the price of ad- 
mission then was two shillings and six-pence for the Boxes, and 
cightecn-pence for the Gallery. In 1740 the foundation-stone of 
a new Theatre, to the west of St. John's-street, Canon-gate, was 
laid by Mr. John Ryan, of Covent-Garden Theatre. In 175* 
this concern was sold to Air. Lee ; to whom Mr. Di|rges suc- 
ceeded. At this interval che Performers became disunited,, and 
the Public dissatisfied ; in consequence of which a riot ensued^ 
and the Canon-gate Theatre was totally destroyed. When a BiO 
was presented to arliament for an extension of the Royaltv of the 
City, a clause was added to it, enabling his Majesty to hceose a 
new Theatre in Edinbureh, of which Mr. Ross became Patentee. 
This House was opened m 1769. The expence of the building, 
wardrobe, and scenery, amounted to 50C0L Here the price of 
admission was raised to three shillings for the Boxes and Pit, two 
killings the first Gallery, and one shilling the upper Gallery. At 
these rates the House holds about 140I. 

On the falling of the New Bridge Mr. Ross became dispirited, 
and let his 1 heatre for three years to Mr. Foote, at an annnal 
rent of 5C0 guineas— -who disposed of his lease to Messrs. Digges 
and Bland, who renewed it with Mr. Ross for five years more— 
The Theatre was afterwards rented by iVIr Corri — then by "Mr. 
Wilkinson, of the York Company :— but in 1781 it was purchased 
of the Patentee, Mr. Ross, by Mr. Jackson. Mrs. Bennet and 
Mrs. Estcn tented it of Mr. Jackson ; and Mr. Stephen Keftibic 
took the lease from^hcm, subject to the control of Mr. Jackson. 
It remains in Mr. Stephen Kemble's manaffement^— who includes 
in his annual circuit the towns of Glasgow, Newcastle upon Tyne, 
and Lancaster. There are Theatres at Aberdeen, Dundee, and 
Dumfriesi which are tenanted in the Summer months, and like- 



CHILDilEN OP THESPIS, 139 

As our youngsters perk up to the teeth of Good Sense- 
To avoid busy Shame they leap over the fence : 
Our Natures give Grace, though 'tis Taate gives the 

clue, 
As vassals bring tea, but leave sweetening to you : 
But if Fear lurks within, you are check'd in your bound- 

As subaqueous eddies will baffle your soundings. 

Off the Stage she exhibits no symptom of dread ; 

But the sick can oft sleep any where but in bed. 

She is super-eX'Current in some of her aims. 

Yet less proud than she ought where she 's natural claims : 

She twists and re-twists, and grows spiral to view^ 

As if her anatomy turn'd on a screw. 

WMC the property of Mr Jackson — to whom that part of the 
Scotch people who are fond of theatrical entertainments are highly 
iodebted, for his spirit and skill in giving their Theatres^ import- 
ance. Though none have a higher opinion of the integrity of the 
Scotch, as a nation, than myself, yet i think they have manifested 
a narrowness of opinion, as appertaining to the Drama, which is 
unworthy of themselves. The unqualified and illiberal language 
that w^' used by the Presbytery against Mr. Home, the Authpr 
of the Tragedy of Douglas, Will be a lasting memorial of 
that vile leaven of uncharitablcness, which is usually gene- 
rated by Ignorance and Falsehood in the little heart of a 
canting Priest. They affect to have no idea of meritorious- 
ness that is not connected with fanaticism — and to deal out their 
fuhninations towards all who represent the Omnipotent as a 
Common Protector ; and particularly towards him who has had 
die singular hardihood to remove a fetter from the human 
mi^d ! —-Mr. Home was cited to appear before hi^ pious brethren, 
for being guilty of the heinous crime of writing an excellent Play, 
abounding with incitements to the practice of virtue— but chose to 
resign his pastoral office, rather than meet the insolence of such 
an^ irritable convocation. I am informed ihat the King, at the 
recommendation of the late Lord Bute, settled an annuity on Mr. 
Home, to recompense the persecution — a circumstance that reflects 
• much honor on all parties. I believe Home had the sinecure of- 
fice of Conservator of Scottish Privileges at Campvecr in Hollanp • 

L 2 . ^NnR. ' 



i40 A PIV-BASKET TO THB 

' She it to Miss Farkbn what Grey is to Pitt — 
Each would copy the whole, yet can rfiew but a bit : 
This vile imitation daub's Reason's best cost ; 
This, this, is a fish-bone 'cross Vanity's throat! 

See liow boldly the hussey that 's next her rehetneSf 
Imperfect, but pompous, like Leomne Terses. 
Pr'ythec what can thus make us untrue to one's-self ? 
Should a fox suckle d<^9, would it sharpen the whdp f 
Some force, not immediate, must order nil this— 
As 't is urg'd in romances that Genii move bliss ! 
Sare some Sylphs arc incessantly buoyanti snd aim 
By envious praises to murder their fame ; 
Pour the flattering talc on the nerve of the c*r. 
Till it coils from the dogma that 's wise and sincere $ 
Breathes the opiate through caves on the eye of the miB4i 
Tin it winks, is bcfilm'd, and ends totally blind : • 
'Then the Judgment gets tipsy, the Fancy grows tainf 
And the phreilzy of Pride desolates the Worn brain. 
NoVr our Dramatists toil, not that Sophs should penile^ 
But to strengthen that weakness which vitiates the Mtlsc : 
With iarmoyant sentiment how they have vmt— 
Equivoque nine times hash'd, and mere syllabub wit! 
To gvtt I'olly new latitude— Pride a new plan- 
Thus Authors make Actors, though God weaves the 

man! 
By causes collateral Custom will try us ; 
When the matin- bell rings all the good feel more pious ; 
W^en Hymen *s conjoining, Youth knows added fires; 
^Fore the flagon the DrunJ^ard unmasks his 4caires: 

From 



CHILDREK OP THBSPI9. J4l 

i ' ' ^ ' ■ - 

From the impulse of shame many hie to their prayers^ 
And Fortune oft kicks a vile loon up the stairs ! 
In the zenith of being no vapours annoy- 
All our prospects are bright — all our senses veake joy : " 
Then our hope, like the horizon, 's always in sight, 
Though it mpcks our approach, like .th* expected delight : 
Thus our evils increase as our bodies decay ; 
Thus our shades are more black at the death of the day! 

Mr. CLJREMONT.—Q. G. 

When the Irelands scud through each pot-house in 
tov^n. 
To scrub off a reproach, and new-prop their renown ; 
Vaunt, vouch, and prate loudly, their ign'rance to smo» 

ther, . , 

And prove (risum ten,) that each is not the other ; 
How Perception looks down on such rivals with scorn 1 ' 
How we ask laughing Jove why such Fungi were bom-t 
If we look at our Players, we 've many among *em. 
Make us.think from what heap merry Fortune has flung 
em! 

"What article* % this in the Drama's full moon, 
As neat as a bridegroom, but dull as a loon— - 
Like a yard and three-eighths perpendicular moving, 
Who thinks he 's belov'd, but eternally loving ? 
'Tis Clarbmont you say, and a very good lad ; 
How piteous a youth of such worth should be mad ! 
For madness it certainly is to pursue 
Avocations that beckon to please, but undo : 

L 1 Yrt 



142 ' A nV'BASKiT TO Tm 

Yet I wo^d not extinguish the Epheby quite ; 
But by snufiing thq taper give strength to the light ; 
llxough he caAQOt enact or dedaim as I wish, 
1 would radier add lolder than melt down his dish. 
If t* excel deserves wreaths^ give him one, as I trew 
He has canied bad acting as far as 't wUI go : 
How he tortures hard words •—how adroitly, he 'U mar I 
How he jumUes the V^ and cross-buttocks t)it R ! 
Bid him fly his indentures ; if lame, let him hop^ 
Bid him buy his tobacco at some other Bhop% 
Oh, Godof itay Others! that beings should be - 
Thus denied or to think, or to feel, or to seel 
Crush the seed tfi the womb — be fecundity spoU'd g 
Let the matroti be mulcted who fosters a child : 
Why bring you, with ardor, ^uch congeons forth ? 
Sure you search in th^ South for what grows in tfal 

North! 
I will not sit in court or be synger'd with him : 
That would be to waste rage — to support him a whim! 
When the huge clarion bellows at Death's final day, 
And matchless James SARjEANxis ta'en into pay ; 
When the atoms of ages, which nuUie marie and dung, 
Shall, like queer Fantoccini be werk'd and re-stnmg \ 
When the bones of f^ntiquity datter and dance^ 
And the hero and knight claim the hawberk and Ismce \ 

• Thi late Mr. Don stall, of Covcnt-Gardcn TTheatre* 
was remitfka^ for his affectation of grecisms, afid wordief 
many 8yllable&->iiisomuch, that when he was missing at a Re- 
hearsal, Ned Shuter told the elder Colman, who was acting 
Manager, that Do if bt a\(.l had found dot aaothtr hzxd. word, and 
was gone to Whitechapel with it. 

■ When 



•aiLDEEN •F THE8F;8. 143 

* 

When the Turk, and the Bnimin', and Indian, and Jew, 
Sbail all seek the same Jove by a.varypg clew ; 
Ascend with mix'd fiaiths, and be stunn'd with idix'd 
■V pray'r^^ 

Though, like mobs in a Play-house, up different stairs ; 

When' the good, of all sects, shall be hail'd and re- 
hafl'd, ' 

And e'en Priests shall bludi deep that their fends had pre* 
vail'd ; 

When that miscreant shall shudder who propp'd Ruin's 
cause. 

And brav'd Goodness with rigor heyemd human knv* ! 

When foul Mvn shall be huii'd from that cloud which ia 
hi^'st, .. 

Who would blast all mankind with — hit m^uti fitH of 
Christ! 

When the veil will be torn 'twixt the guilt that's re- 
warded-— 

That blanch 'd by a gibbet, and what is recorded ; 

When the infamous Lordliog, and Jeaabd sattin^d, 

Shall find no more grace than meek Virtue, who's pat- 
ten'd; 

When e'en Kings shall be damn'd amid thunders em- 
phatic; 

{ How piteous that Fate woa't be aristocratic I ) 

When hosts of Attomies shaU tremble and shirk, 

'Fore a Judge who *s no leaven of love for a tjutrk ; 

When pert Vanity '11 stand with her belles and her beaus,^ 
. Likt pde gnigerbread, stript of its gilding, in rows ; 



J 44 A PIN-BASKET TO THB 

When the Miser shall marvel he 'd sigh'd for a stiver ; . 
When the Rakehdl shall moan for his victim, to wive her | 
When the Brewer shall labor to hide his fell dn]g»— 
The Baker his alum, and Vintner his jugs ; 
The Smuggler that thumb he'd so kiss'd for God's book. 
The Vict'ler his scales, and the peijvrM his look : 
The Bawd her large Bible she'd plac'd for base uses, 
L.ean Extortion his bonds, and the Chemist his juices : 
Will the Herald in opposite sepulchres look 
For the debtor and creditor side of his book ; 
Search Marybone's graves for long-hair 'd canting ninnicfi 
Or Bunhill-row tombs for our Molls and our Phryne$ ? 
What confusion there 'd be in the vast pyebald drove ! 
How would strumpets in jeopardy get, bail above ^ 
Then the fault of the Courier 'd o'erthrow canon law, 
And the sinning escape through the gap of a flaw ! 

Miss LEJKE.^jy. L. 

Like a blithe SMneyixgin^ ere Lust shook her peacff 
Leake. smilingly peeps to bid Sauciness cease : 
Lo, her eyes swim in liquid that mellows thdr brightness ! 
Mark,likq Scythia's winter*, her neck's snowy whiteness! 

She 

• The Russian Dkama. 

Petersburg is one of the greatest centres of human socie^, and 
its inhabitants are not without their spectacles, and particularly the 
Drama — they have French, German, and Russian Comedian% 
and an Italian Opera. The Masquerade is a favorite amusement 
in winter. 

The French Actors are highly esteemed ; and I assure you the 
Russian Players arc no less so in Comedy. ' The latter have a pe- 
culiar turn for works of humour ; but in Tragedy they cut a poor 
figure. Tragedy has no charms in their eyes ; and I am very much 
, «r their way of thinking : there it a sufficient number of melan- 
choly 



CHILDREN OF TUESPIS* 145 



She is bursting with plethora— ^sickening with blood, 
Like Sir Je M M Y, the wench has too nuich of what'^ good I 
How each iv'ry protuberanc/e curses the stays! 
How bcr gay little heart seems to hunger for praise I 

AH' 

•holy scenes presented every day in real life ; I prefer, with the 
Moscovites, to sing and dance while we may. This turn for hu- 
Sdour in the Russians is attended with a fault ; their Comedy, at 
witii us, too often approaches to Farce, rhey enjoy with all their 
•ouls their native Operas ; in which ar^ introduced sural scenery 
jind manners, and native airs Were I not afraid of your calling 
ine Goth, I would tell you that I prefer many of the Rus» 
•ongs to the Italian ; they are simple, but exquisitely pleasing : 
the Russians forget every thing else while they are listening to 
them. Even among the waggoners, and other rustics, we shall 
sometimes find five or six dividing their voices into as many keyi^ 
and producing a concert no way contemptible : they are self- 
taught, and do not understand whar tenor, or bass, or treble 
means. . I wonder the Italians have not pretended that some Dam 
vid Rizzio had visited this country, as they are so treniblingljr 
jealous of their quavers. 

The Russian instruments of music are as simple as their tongt). 
Of these the balilcka is the favorite of the common people. Thia 
is a kind of euitar, with two strings ; the performer places it upOB 
yds knee, and strikes jthe wire with such art, as to move some cor- 
responding chord in the breast of every Russian within hearing. 
Several of their other instruments resemble those of the ancient 
Romans ; particularly the pipe of Pan is matched by their whistle 
of nine or ten joints, placed at each other's sides of unequal i 
lengths. 

' You must always expect to hear poetry mentioned with music. 
Russia has produced two excellent poets in Somonosof And Sumgror 
koff. Before their time the Russian ^tage was disgraced by bur« 
lesque obscenities, equally offensive to good sense and decency ; 
and these indecencies were often incorporated with scenes bor- 
rowed from Scripture. We are told by Steathen that he has seen 
the Empess .Elizabeth's Maids of Honor act a Comedy, ^metimes 
in furnished houses, and at others in a hay-loft about the Court 
ttablea. Other strolling co/npanies acted in the public squares. 
Their exhibitions were often little better than the buffooneries 
, acted at Bartholomew Fair, in Smithfield. 

Ptdor Wolkot^ the Garrkk of Russia, after exhibiting for some 
time such scenes as have been just mentioned, introduced upon 
kis Stage theplay« oi S^monosoJ s^d Sumorokof, WoiAot ^painted 

the 



146 A PIN-BASKET TO THB 



All her motions seem blissful, or vaulting, or singing. 
Like the twists of the bull when Europa was dinging : 
She 's a morsel for Jove — she *s a pound for stray'd Evfl ; 
She could philter a Seer — she's a charm for the Devil : 

Though • 

the decorations of his Theatre witir his own hands aJ^d assisted 
in the making np of dresses. He very frequently gave a play 
gratis, in order to inKpire his countrymen with a taste for the 
iJrama. Cut though the pieces of ^oraonosoff and Sumorokoff . 
were well received, his countrymen, for many years, continued 
to prefer, before all theatrical entertainments, the riotous amuse- 
ments of the tavern. 

The Empress rlizabeth, in the year 1752, brought WoDtot 
and his company to St Petersburg, where, upon the Court Stage, 
he played the tragedies of Sumorokoff. In order to improve this 
company, she established a national I'heatre, on which Wolkot 
was the chief Actor ; and, for the purpose of exciting a spirit of 
emulation, she appropriated about a thousand 'pounds sterung to 
be divided amongst the Actors according to tlieir abilities; and 
allowed them, besides, to act once a week for the public and 
their own benefit. Besides all this, the Court bore the whole 
jezpence of the play Theatrical improvements were made from 
time to time ; translations of Molicre, and some other French 
comic writers, were played. The Empress Catharine au«nented 
the sum appropriated by F.lizabeth for the salary of the Comedi- 
ans to about four thousand pounds sterling. Two celebrated 
Actors, "Wolcot and his brother, were ennobkd, and the Empreis 
gave them estates and peasants. [^Here are inserted some illmrel 
remaiks upon the profession of an Actor ^ which J have omitted, and 
for uhich the Author ou^ht to blush. ^ I am just arrived from attend- 
ing two Russian village girls to the 'J heatre. A number of stroll- 
ing players from St. Petersburg have honored the villagers re- 
siding in the mid^t of a wood with a visit. The 'J heatre of this 
-straggling village consists of one room about 25 feet square ; a 
blanket, very properly in this season and climate, supplied tW 
place of a curtain. 

The Manager had this morning paraded the village, dressed 
like a Harlequin, and beating a drum ; another of the Actors per- 
formed upon the French horn. 'Ihey promised to the inhabitants 
of the village an entertainmemt consisting of divers curious and 
novel pieces, -tragical and comical. The Performers did not be- 
. gin until the arrival of the folks, viz. the village 'Bailiff, his 
wife and daughter, who were received by all the audience with 
repeated maiks of applause. The Gentlemen and Ladies being 

•eated 



CHILDREN OF THESPI9. 147 

Though his gypsy were by, Marcus Tony 'd not scorn her ; 
'Ha4 I Bf>alazzo I'd give her a corner. 
Are you certain that Phoebus has felt not her song ? 
She's^as handsome as Daphne — as jocund — as young! 

, . Were 

seated in the staee box, on the end of the first form nearest the 
i^ctors, the blanket rose. 

The first act consisted of the School for Scandal, ^ith abridg* 
snents, however, as well as variations, which were the more in- 
teresting^, as they shewed the taste and turn of the K ussians. 
The Manager's wife, in the character of Lady Fcazle, having 
given ear to the addresses of her gallant, lies down upon the floor, 
and a mock engagement takes place before this delicate audience. 
Bearded faces f)ushed forward in every direction to beholcl this 
Amorous exhibition, and grinned a very high degree of satisfac- 
tion. The- Ladies tittered, and held down their heads. Full of 
love and love's disports the pair fall asleep, and are caught in this 
situation by Sir Peter I'eazle, who finds both Joseph and his 
laidy without any screen before them Imagine to yourself the 
consternation of Lady Teazle when she was awakened by a kick 
with her husband'* foot, and Joseph with the .application of a 
-whip across his shoulders. I'he af&ighted Joseph rose, and in a 
hurry ran off without pronouncing one sentiment. The unfortu- 
. nate fair one wept, and in a song told us how the base man had 
deceived her. 

Another Comedy, the title of which T do not recollect, was 
presented in the second act. The principal character was per- 
formed by the same Lady, the Manager's wife, who was caught 
tripping again in a Cyptian exhibition similar to the former. 

Tragedy drew her dagger in the third act. The cup remained 
with the Audience, who refreshed themselves between the acts 
with brandy. A vaunting foreigner arrives in Russia; by his 
ribbon I found they meant Prince Nassau, He tells the Audience 
that the Russian Officers could do nothing, and promises to do 
• wonders for her Imperial Majesty, 'i he other Tragedian, in the 
character of a Russian Nobleman," and Naval Officer, takes fire 
at this; and having borrowed a whitd* jacket and trowsers from 
one of the Auditory, and fixing the Order of St. George upon 
. his stately shoulders, he challenges this boasting stranger. Many 
thrusts were given and received; at last, as 'might be expected. 
Prince Nassau fell. The blanket fell too by accident, and co- 
vered his bleeding body from the rejoicing company, who ex- 
pressed the greatest encomiums upon the champion of their coun- 
try, and their detestation of foreigners. 

A new 



148 A Piy-JlA9KET TO tBB 

Were the God to implore, shew his powers and deeds, 
'D'ye think, like Miss Daph, she 'd immerse in the reeds) 
In the transit of Venus she sigh'd and tum'd p^. 
She 's no Alioth to seize on a Bear's filthy tail : 

Was 

A new historical Play was lately produced at die grand Thea- 
tre at Petersburg. R cport gives it to the pen of the Emtrtss her« 
self. It alhides to the ancient history of Kussia, and ot the con- 
nexion between the Russian and Grecian .Sovcfei^rSfS, and of tiieir 
intermarriages together. Some petty Princes, wiio disturbed the 
primitive Dukedom of Russia, whose capiul city was Kioff, are 
brought in chains before the Czar. Kioff, situated upon the elfr 
vated banks of the river Nieper, is pictured in a beautiful scene. 
'1 he galley fleet appear afloat upon tne river. The Duke is busied 
in the hall of audicnccj receiving and sending away dispatches to 
various provinces, and giving orders to his surrounding Ministers 
His eon, the young Duke, sctfi ofi^for lyzantium, and marries • 
Grecian Princess. 'J he Royal pair vibit in his capital their Rus- 
sian father. A moveable scene represents the distant march <rf 
their escort ; numerous armies, waggons, camels loaded with 
precious articles; squadrons of cavalry guard the young Princess 
and her husband in their triumphal car. The Heralds, with trum- 
pets, announce their arrival. The procession passes along the 
5tagc ; the Ofiiccrs of the Grecian Court, in their proper habits 
and insignia : the Princess's maid3 lead or follow in the proces- 
sion according to their ranks, 'i he Duke receives them in hit 
hall of audience. The young Prince conducts his veiled bride tP 
the presence. The superior l.ady of the Russian Court, who ap- 
pears to bf; a Priestess, approaches the Grecian Empress, am 
pours myrrh, or other pounded herbs, upon her head. The 
Jjuke entreats her to unveil : an Officer of the Court, or Priest, at 
a respectful distance, touches the Princess's veil with a wand^ 
and lifts it ofT. She appears crowned, and in the Grecian habit] 
and, making her obeisance to the I^uke, he embraces and salutes 
her. Attended to her chamber by her own and Russian female 
IV^aids of Honor, i^t latter undress the Princess, and again dress 
her in the Russian habit. The Princess resumes her veil, and, 
seated at the head of her Ladies, the Russian female dancers and 
singers entertain her with their pdrformances. The Princess, haiF- 
ing remained for some time at Kiofif, takes leave of the Duke, 
inviting him to visit the Court of Byzantium. 

'I'he next scene again presents to view the city of Kloff. "The 
Duke embarks in his galley for Byzantium, and sails down the 
>licper. As the' entertainments given at his own Court wer« 

simple^ 



erhouse of nativity ever until'd ? 
le Ram or the Goat ever frighten the child I 
she know all the stoical ethics by rote ? 
she pant to make holes in old Tarquia's best coat^ 

Her 

and characteristic of the manners of thi* nation, to dMT 
d reception he met with from his Grecian daughter was 
so of the power and greatness of her Empire. Tht He* 
inounce the arrival of the Duke. The Grecian Emperor 
ipress rise from their llirone in the Audience Chamber, and 
him ; as do the numerous and splendid Cooftiers, witb* 
nark of honor and reverence. The Duke*s Herald read a 
ii« titles. I suspect, from the length of this list, that Ca- 
ll, had added several not then existing in the person of 
ssian Dukes^ A tabic Is superbly covered ; the goblets and 
ere of massy silver, sent from the palace at Petersburg, 
whole service vras of the same meul, as well as many 
af pure gold. The mock Sovereigns wore crowns of gold 
ng with real diamonds of great value. A guard stood be» 
le scenes to prevent any attempt upon the rich scenery 
had never before been introduced into Theatres. 
Grecian Empress sat at the head of the table ; the Duke 
er right and her husband upon her left hand. The Cour- 
nd Ladies of the Court, stood around them ; but other at- 
ts vsraited at table. At intervals a band of mntic, Oreciaa 
s and singers, perform before the august assemblage. The 
iens rise from table. The Duke leads the Empress to the 
iuieatre, which appears in the next seene erect^ round the 
These presented a new and uncommon prospect. It was 
ed with the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Grecian Court» 
ith the Russian Courtiers who had accompanied the Duke, 
r national habits. The Grecian and Russian guards, in their 
t national uniform, filled up the remaining space. The Duke» 
ipress, and her husband, were seated in tne same gallery 
he rieht, hut divided from their Courtiers by a partition, 
eir place otherwise distinguished. The Grecian, fencers, 
tors, wrestlers, shooters with the bow, in their turns dis* 
. their dexterity; sometimes they contended in parties, 
mes only two fought for the prize. The foot-racers wheeled 
the posts, and pressed on to the goal The conquerors 
:rowned with laurel ; they carried too the arms of the van- 
d, who walked round the stage behind them, and all 
f passed the Sovereigns and Courtiers, saluted them. A se« 
tage was erected beneath, and at the further end of the 
M Am^Kw 



I 



130 A PXN-BA8KBT TO TUB 

Her ebon-hued locksy soft as down on the raven. 
Seem tacitly grand, like our fleet in a haven ; 
When minstrels and Bambochu her graciousness seek, 
I^w the crimson tides flow and bedamask her cheek ! 
Had she breathM but in earlier times she 'd been sainted ; 
Have you no contraverga to bathe her if tainted ? 
What makes her so coy, so contemptuous, so loth ? 
Her nurse, by the mass, has put ice in her broth I 
Shall her snug citadelia be ever unstordi'd ? 
Shall she teach apes her gamut in clira<^ too high wann'd? 
What a marrow-fill'd dumpling for Douglas's tooth? 
What a sop in the pan for incontinent youth ? 
What the deuce are you at ? — you've put Cydnus in tears j 
Why, you suffer your girls to be fallow for years ! 
At this time too, when Honor demands nine in ten! 
Let the hussies uncase — zounds, the nation wants men! 
Shall she keep all that ocean of joy to herself? 
Will she give it to Passion, or sell it for pelf? 
Were I Imperator I 'd make her impart, | 

But faith I would rather be — Lord of her heart : 
Can you mark out the sort of Philander would please her! 
For some jades would hug clowns who have frown'd upon 
Caesar i 

Amphitheatre a representation of the ancient Drama was exhibited. 
Two Actors alternately appeared, and delivered discourses from 
the plays of Euripides. The audience were transported into oM 
times, and imagined themselves seated in Rome or Athens. At 
the conclusion of this Drama, consisting of several acts, between 
which the Audience were entertained, as usual, with music, 
a stair was constructed to the gallery where the Sovereigns and 
Ministers were seated; they descended by this stair, railed 
with the bucklers, the banners, and spears of the conquerors 
in the preceding games. The curtain dropped amidst the huzzas 
of the guard and the sound of trumpets.— Vide Letttrs from 
Scandinavia. 

mei> 



CHILDREN OF TUESPIS» 151 

When she acts, I 'm impell'd to take much upon trust ; 
When she sings, her sweet song shuts the eyes of Disgust j 
Her dulcet contralto exacts Fame's confession 
To her feminine graces and manly expression* 
In her onset her name met the Public too proudly. 
She was injur'd by zeal — she was lauded too loudly ! - 
When a cloud, burst in pregnancy, spills gentle showers,. 
All the herbage Jook^ gladly — rich tints deck the flowers f 
But if continued torrents inundate the earth, 
All those seeds are destroyed which give nutriment birth» 
Thus it is with a Player : — ^a rational praise 
May buttress their honor and fashion their lays \ 
But unqualified puf& fret the national vision. 
And Perception's arch smile leads to local perdition, 

Mr. HARGRAVE.^Q. G. 

As pilchards in shoals periodical scud 
Through the Ocean's salt bowels and teaze up the mud, 
So novitiate tribes will egregious move 
To tiie Drama's vast Chief in an elbowing drove ; 
Thus, by instinct, each hies thro' the filth and the main> 
Though the fish and the fool only rush to be slain ! 

Half-fledg'd and half-finish'd, lo! Hargrave appears. 
For my plaudits too callow — too bright for my sneers : 
When he burst in Octavian some laugh'd and some wept, 
And many applauded, yet many more slept ; 
•Twas a pyebald display, demi-grotesque and mad, 
And like few lawyers' hearts — not entirely bad j 

M 2 Some 



152 A FJN-BASKBT TO THB 

jSome prais'd jhimy and loudlj^ till Zaphna appear'd^ 

And tbcn iiis escutcheon was blotted and smear'd ; 

All the critical saw the same overheated rage. 

And that Lunacy govem'd his aims on the Stage 1 

Words imeant to be social^ as cousin or brother/ 

Unnatural tript up the heels of each other : 

Yet amidst all this wildness that lost him Wit's meec]^ 

Some occasional flashes iUumin'd his deed ; 

Accidental effiilgencies .cheer'd mind and sigbl;» 

Xkikie fleet coruscations pervading the jnight ; 

Which, though bleats yet so transient^ihey answer no moK 

Than to regiill our wish for a bliss we deplore* 

They came forthf like faint truths, £rom a varlet wto'^ 

lying* 
Or the forcible starts in a vicf^m who 's dying : 
No rational hope in an ecstacy kist 'em, 
As they spoke not hi^ health in the brain or the system. 
No Actor past thirty shpuld rush on the Sti^ge, 
Or create a new draught on his peace or his n^e ; 
As all in that period of being who 're brought. 
Will decline in eajch prop of esustence, but thought* 
Ha«e y^ou no reservoirs of good sense to let out 
In healtj^giving streams^ like a spa through a spout ? 
Csn't you piu-ge a joureau, or on knowing one dab it? 
Can *t you take out the pith from the cranium and scrub it? 
pies on it« what can ^t you refurnish the mind ? 
Pr'ythee have you no optics to help the purblind ? 
Zounds, crush those jongleurs who have tickled and stufig 

'em, . 
Get a dish of ideas, and throw them among 'em ! 

Let 



CHILDREN OP THBSPIS. }53 

Let no man mouth a saw till he's conn'd it and spell'd it 5 
Should this step affront Jove, say 'twas I who impelled it: 
What the deuce, must the judgment be ever at war ? 
There 's no sheep should be lost for a penn'orth of tar ! 

Mr. SLOPER*.—C. G. 

Oh, Gemini Drv ! we're all lost, I declare. 
The superb Queen of Heaven has dropt through the 

air;— 
She can 't be far off this sublunary scene- 
Look, there's one of her horses— her /^^ro^ij 1 mean : 
We shall soon see her chaise, as the birds are unbuckled ; 
We must fob her, as Baucis once coax'd her hot 

cuckold. 
Where's the beautiful service I purchased of Wbdc- 

WOOD ? 

Feed the grate vnth more coals ; if you've none, get some 
hedge- wood : 

Let our best Turkey carpet be beat, ^andlaid down \ 

Send for £g an to copy the shape of her gown ; 

Bring me down my carmine ; and, d'ye hear, bid eacli 
wench 

Who's no breeding, begone — does her Highness speak 
French ? 

If she does we 'U be pos'd, she 's so vers'd in the gen- 
ders ; 

Get some em'ry, and brighten my tongs and my fenders. 

* Mr. Slopir is a worthy and ingenious man, and Carpenter 
to Covcnt-Garden Theatre. He performed the part of the Peacock^ 
in the Pantomime of Jewels New Set, for many nights, j^ith uncom* 
non applause from a very discerning audience I T*' 

M 3 ^'^ 



154 A rav-mjifKKr to tms 



I 'm aCofcr, I casaot uC Low, Kkc dciif kitf* 

Or Msf m' d»o vUr Wip»i«g iis Mtiotj 's feu 

Hsvc f fin ao CaMc, or Bfmmr tint is mild ? 

SMcdi tiic pmd horn ikm 9fhmtr^ At% look » wkb 

c riiki* 
How the Dctchai w3 nrrr tiik vnk, aad iraadcr 
Wc were coc afaid of Ikt vdU or her thniKkr ! 
Scad the fliidinfe I mcaige, periapt ibe anr aecdhor; 
Bora ocw ^-aUr-ckset^ B&amah's, of cedar, 
lam told she loves punch — kt 00 get her wcB foddkd; 
AD the goappt I'fc at with will Uab wbe» they're mud- 
dled : 
'fheo well learn \i this teraigSQt't cause to be jciioiis, 
And if Jore's so terrific in deed as they tell ui : 
She may steal us the day-book, and then we shaB know 
Who 11 be griddlcd or »v'd — be above or below* 
Give her Lac ri kg ton's Catalogue, it may be her phn 
To purchase a library as cheap as she can : 
She may like rouge a noir ; buy some cards for her uaCf 
Dice, trictrac J and bowls, and the game of the gooK* 
We 'U request the old girl to make Sbaketpewre a star ; 
Let H0ULDITCH9 in haste, build the shrew a new car. 
We will ask if in Heaven they take any fees ; 
We will ask what she thinks of good Ken yoh's decrees ; 
If Hermes e'er pilfers her bodkins or spocxns ; 
If the jades in the cock-loft are pregnant nine moons. 
When we hold ourcommunion, pray sister remember 
That I beg her to send us no fogs in November. 
Fill my box with rappee — ^lay the best forks and knives ; 
Wlicre 's tl&jordca ? J '11 do it before she anivest 



eHILDREK OP THBSriS. 1^5 

Here's the elegant bird— how majestic, I trow ; 
How different from way we have here below ! 
What a luminous plamagc — ^white, purple, and red ; 
How it '• tinted with sapphire — how gorgeous its head ! 
How immense are its parts*— liow it sweetens the gale ! 
By this light, but I'll measure the hngih of his tail : 
Why the beast has got smali'dothes !— who's this inter* 

loper ? 
How stupid I am-^-Uess my soul, it is Sloper I 
Lo ! omnipotent Sloper — prodigiously gay. 
Like the City's gilt coach on the City's great day ! 
He was got by Sylvanm from Pan's shaggy sister ; 
He 's coz-german to FaumtSy and he too has kist her : 
While his nut*brown Mamma heard the tows of her 

lover, 
Young Dryads with boughs wove the tv^ain a green cover ; 
Those were days when some modesty hung round the 

act! 
Those were days when they'd blush to be caught in the 

fact! 
Who regards not this scion of delicate love ? 
His voice necromantic, can palsy the grove ! 
The Oak, Elm, and Fir, shake like watch-house pent 

sluts. 
And all feel, when he 's near 'em, a pain in their guts^ 
They his chissel dread more than our rakes canon law. 
And weep rivulets of gum when he levels — ^his saw : 
He 'U cut down heads and trunks when there 's rage in hit 

mind. 
Nor heeds though a virgin were cas'd in the riiiid : 



1^6 A PIN-BASKET TO THB 

His fist mai^s the victim — its influence such is. 

That, like the world's pity, it 'numba where it toudies : 

When he lifts up his axe he disseminates fears, 

All the forest is shock'd, nay, and some of our Peers ! 

In a room aU the chattels will cease to l^e gay. 

And old chairs and joint-stools wriggle out of his way ; 

And they all seem as jocund when Slop er has fled, 

As the fleas in his hell when a taylor lies dead. 

When he cuts off a limb he induces no ills ; 

He can fashion a Phoebus * whenever he wills: 

Though his logical twistings no auditor sees, 

He's a knotty expounder, and critic— *mong trees ; 

And though no gxeat adept in the branches- o£ learnings 

In the branches of timber no man^s more discerning : 

He has fingci'd more laurels than Sh e rry or you. 

And his saws have more points than Charles Philips 

e'er knew ! 
E'en that rogue beechen Punch,, that engend'rer of 

whim! 
Though he 'd scofF'd at a monarch, would tremHe at 

him ! — 
What an actor is Sloper — ^how vast is his taste ! 
He 's no vulgar grimace— his demeanor is chaste ! 
When he spreads his gay rump, how the Galleries roar ! 
When he screws up his tail, how the belles cry. Encore ! 

♦ To whom the honor is to be ascribed of placing Phoebus at 
the top of Drury.Lane Theatre, I know not ; but it assuredly 
proves that the vencraiion for the God of Ballads is on the decline ; 
otherwifc no one would be permitted by a nation so enlightened ^i 
this, to affix t vulgar image of the regent of day, issuing from the 
iumm'n of that hideous pile — like a cbitancY-^wee^er announcioj^ 
d!/ecompJeU<uivf bis dirty bbQti 



CHILDaSN OF THS8PI&. i^f 

Oh, infallible clue to each auditor's heart ! 

Ohj matchless perfection of exquusite art ! 

Like him, may each chief, unabash'd, fihew his face ! 

From him let your Kkmblss kam manners and grace I 

May £nvy^ who peery and pale macks his way, 

Affix no temptatknto lead ham a^ray ! 

May his Genius icmove^aU the anares-of kis fbes» 

And the far^r and €iMS€ Acm the «cent ^f his niese I 

Mrs. SECOND^Q. G. 

When a priest chid a negro for eating a goojic 
At Jamaica last JLent, thus he made his excuse : 
<' Oh Lord^ massa, tat ting you be see in the dish 
Is no goose 1*'— What, no goose, villain ?"— "No, 'tk tc 

fish:" 
« Oh ! you shall have flc^g^^g and hroilii^ for this ; 
Oh ! you *J1 go to hell, and eternally hiss I 
You shaU roastf you shall fxy "-!-<< Massa, massa, be 

cooley : 
When I come from Afric they calla me Muley ; 
But you wetty me o'er, and me wash from perdition, 
And you changy me name, and you change me condi^ 

tion : 
So *fore blackyman eat, he too water te dish- 
He wash goose all away, now be very good fish V* — 

Thus by puffs you all labor to transform each elf. 
And expect human kind to give credit to self; 
Yet if any keen reasoner treads in your sphere. 
You win call the ijiquirer rude, not sincere. 



158 A, PIN-BASKET TO THE 

*Ti8 to gulling alone that you fondly incline. 

And thus vintners admit to give poison for wine : 

You believe that an insult is meant for love's test, 

As Hottentots urine on those they like best. - 

But Folly's unquestion'd in going her rounds ; 

Her monopoly grapples all hamlets, all bounds ! 

How many*ve been gall'd for denying belief! 

How many*ve been wounded for crying " Stop thief!** 

Let not stubborn Philosophy drill your bald youth ; 

They must let the apology pass for the truth ! 

There are none will seem pompous but those who can't 

think, 
As none use perfumes but to cover a stink : 
They expect by such fourb'ries to bother each sen^e, 
As old maids scold their curs to transfer an offence ! 
From what aviary stole you thw warbler I pray? 
Jt chirrups, and sweetly, like larks on the spray : 
Can't you quicken her motions with ginger or spur ? 
Can't those steeds that rush by her impel her to stir ? 
Can no human influence propel her paces ? 
Send the idler to France*, to learn spirit and graces. 

What 

* FURTHBR RlMARKS UpOH the FRENCH DraMA. 

It affords matter for astonishment, that when obscenity began t« 
%t. expelled from the French Stage, the reformation should act 
have extended farther, and have produced the abolition of certain 
scandalous exhibitions, which were represented in the churches on 
particular festivals; on such occasions, the priests were dressed in 
masquerade ; some disguised like women, others like buffoons, sang 
the most indelicate songs in the choir ; ate meat-soups upon th« 
altar i played at dice, by the side of the minister who was cde* 

>bratin^ 



CHILDBSN OF THESPXS. 1^9 

What a pretty automaton ! zounds, can it walk ? 
Has It power to speak ? if you can, make it talk. 
How agreeably it touches the springs of desire ! 
It is handsome — ^but has it a soul ? has it fire ? 

Turn 

brating the sacrifice of the mass ; infected the church, by burning 
every kind of filth in the censer : danced ; uttered the most ob- 
scene sayings, and exhibited the most indecent postures. Such 
was Thx Feast of Fools! at which the clergy chose a bishop, 
an archbishop, and even a sovereign pontiff, whom they called tho 
Pops of the Fools, and who officiated as Pope, giving his ben&> 
diction to the pc pie. These abominable orgies lon^ subsisted, 
and it was not till some time after this period* that, through the 
exertion- of the prelates, and the most virtuous of the clergy, their 
abolition was effected. 

The Troubadours, Jongleurs, and Minstrels, continued aln^ost to 
monopolize the privilege of amusing the nation, 'till the mtroduc- 
tion of actors of a different kind. The pilgrims, on their return 
from Palesti' e, Spain, and even from disunt parts of France, had 
ever been accustomed to sing spiritual songs, and to recite, in the 
princ pal towns, the singularides or miracles of the different coun- 
tries they had visited. 

Before the expeditions intp the £ast became fashionable, the 
principal and leading subjects of the old fablers were the achieve* 
menis of Clarlcmagne and his twelve peers. I>ut in the romances 
and dramatic poems written after the holy war, a new set of cham- 
pions, of conquests, and of countries were, introduced. Godfrey of 
Bulloigne, Solyman, >iouraddin, the Caliphs, the Souldans, and 
the cities of Egyyt and Syria, became the favorite topics. The 
Troubadours took up arms, and followed their barons in prodigious 
multitudes to the conquest of Jerusalem. They formed a consider- 
able part of the household of the nobility. Lewis the Seventh not 
only enterlained them at his court very libera ly, but took a consi- 
derable number of them in his retinue, when they sailed for Pales- 
tine, that they might solace him with their songs, during the dan- 
gers and inconveniencies of so long a voyage. The ancient chroni- 
cles of France mention Legions de Poetes as embarking in this won- 
derful enterprise. Here a new and more copious scene of fabling 
was opened : in these expeditions they picked up numberless extra- 
vagant stories ; and, at their return, enriched romance with an infi- 
nite variety of oriental scenes and fictions. Thus these later won- 
ders, in some measure, supplanted the fornver , they had the re- 



l60 it Hir-BASKBT TO Tirt' 

Turn it round like a wheel, It may do it some good, 
Revolution will even force warmth into wood. 
With Inanity's fetters this La4y 's accurst. 
This Nymph may be Sbcond, but ne'er wiD htjtrstf 

To 

cmmneiidation of noveUys *^ gtined still more attention, as. they 
came -from a greater distance. 

It often happened th«t these acalous travelers assoeiated and' 
formed troops, by which means the) increased the curiosity of the 
people to a much greater degree. The poeCSj heated by a piout 
enthusiasm, composed pieces appropriate to the object of their de- 
votion, which were recited by the troop, in the form of a dialogue* 
Such, probably, was the origin of the mysteries or miracU'plays, 
These representations were exhibited in the streets, or on stages 
erected for the purpose in the most public parts of the town, till a* 
society of Parisians undertook to give them a more regular form. 
The village of Saint Maur des Fosm, near Paris, much frequented' 
•^by pilgrims, was the place they chose for their first representation; 
here, consequently, the first regular stage- was erected. The mys* 
tery they performed was, Hie History of the Death of oar Saviour, 
whence the socie'.y afterward took the name of *• The Brotherhood of 
the Passion.** This novelty attracted vast crowds of people ; bat 
the provoit of Paris issued an ordonnance, dated the third of June 
1398, enjoining them to stop their performances. The associates, 
however, made application to the king for permission to continue 
them ; and it appears that their reouett was granted, since they 
w«re allowed to exhibit several times before the monarch, who was 
so well pleased with the poem itself, and with the abilities of the 
actors, that he authorized their e^ablishtnent in the capita), by let- 
ters dated in the month of December 1407. In those letters the 
associates are distinguished by the appellations of Masters, Govern 
nors, and Brethren, of the Brotherhood of the Passion, It appears 
that the king himself did not think it beneath his- dignity to become 
a-member of this brotherhood (de s^agreger <J cette confiairiej. 

The Brethren of the Passion, being tl.us sanctioned by sovereign 
authority, erected a stage in the great hall of the hospital of the 
Trinity. The subjects of their first representations were taken from 
scripture ^ and they were chiefly composed by priests. These 
were called Mysteries, an appellation which was likewise applied 
to poems uken from profane history, or the heathen mythology. 
All the principal towns in the^kingdom followed the example of 
the capital ; and the extreme eagerness evinced by the people for 
these pious amusements, induced the clergy to begin divine service 

at 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. l6\ ' 

To deny her some merit would sully my station ; 
But then 't is the merit of apt imitation : 
Now Billington's gone o'er the hills far away, 
Calliope's kitchen-maids copy her lay. 

So 

tt an earlier hour than usual, that their parichloners might be ena- 
bled to attend both the church and the theatre. 

About the same period, another description of actors started up, 
whose performances were of a different cast, and tlie bond of 
whose union was a conformity of taste for pleasure, and of inclina^ 
don to raillery. The folly and absurdities of their fellow-citizens 
formed the object of their exhibitions ; and no whimsical nor ridi- 
culous adventure escaped their attention. This company was com- 
posed of young men of the best families in Paris ; they assumed 
the appellation of Ics Enfans sans Souci ; their leader took the title 
of Prince qfy Fools, and their performance was called The Exhibition 
of Folly. They were at once authors and actors« They erected a 
«stage at the Halles, The town and the court were equally delighted 
with their representations, and Charles the Sixth connrmed, by 
1ett(;r8-paLent, the joyous institution. The prince of fools was ac- 
knowledged king of the empire he had foaoded ; he wore, by way 
of crown, a hood with asses' ears ; and once a-year be made his 
public entry into Paris, followed by all his subjects. 

The attornics* clerks, known by the appellation of Bazochiens, 
invented, about the same time, another species of dramatic per- 
formances, called Moralities; in which the fictions of allegory were 
combined with historical facts. But as these compositions were 
found insipid, the actors of the Bazoehe entered into a negotiation . 
with the Enfans sans Souci, whe allowed them to play Farces, on 
condition of being permitted to introduce Moralities on their -own 
stage. The clerks of the Chatelet, and even those of the chamber 
ofsiccompts, distinguished by the title of Jurisdiction of the Holy 
Empire, followed the example of the other clerks ; but their success 
was nether so durable, nor so brilliant. Several private citizens' 
joined the Bazochiens; and in the number of these voluntary associ- 
ates are to be found the names of some celebrated men — such as 
John Desure, and Clement Marot, who composed as well for the 
Bazoehe as for the Enfans san s Souci, The licentiousness which pre- 
vailed during the livil wars that broke out immediately after the 
establishment of these societies, introduced into their exhibitions 
a degree of malignancy and personal satiire, which were authorized 
by the disorders of the times« This abose was corrected b^ ^>V^ft. ,^ 



102 A PIM-BASKBT TO THB 

So the Moon o'er this hemisphere glares iiom her socket. 
While the Sun to fresh wotlds takes the Day in his 

pocket ( 
Yet the nightly impostor seems proud it her post, 
T2K)ugh she borrows her light from that orb we have 

lost! 

Ah! 

aiagistntet as soon as the union of the opposite factions had fcHened 
tranquillity to the kingdom. 

These theatrical amusementt were not ooaSned to the metropo^s { 
there were few provinces that were not distinguished by some aimi* 
lar institution. Evreux and Rouen had their Coqueluchitrs ai d their 
Cuckolds (Corn A ana) I the chief of these last, who was called 
Abbot of the Cuckolds^ was elected once a-ycar, on Saint fiamabw'f 
day. He always wore the mitre and the crosier. The object of 
thii institution was the sarae as that of the En/ans sans Souci 

It is rathrr surprising, that, notwithstimdiiig these effort , mni 
the general disposition of the people to mimicry and raillery, a 99^ 
tion, in other respects ingenious, lively, and strongly addtcted to 
pleasure, should have reiMined ao long without forming auy ides of 
true Comedy, which did not appear in France till some ccoiurits 
after the first dawnine of the dramatic art. The progreaa of that art 
• was much less rapid in France than ill Greece, though^ 19 some 
provinces, the French had begun in the ame manner as the Griekt» 
and had, moreover, the cke/s d*auvre of those great masters to serve 
them for models. Sophocles and i£schylua made the theatre at 
Athens flourish fifty years after Thetpis ; and they were soon Miff 
ccedcd by Aristophanes. But Corneille and Moliere did not appear 
till the seventeenth century, and more than four hundred years be- 
fore, a atmilar ao^iety to that which Thespis instituted ia Greece, 
had been established at Dijon. This association, called La mere 
foUe et Vinjanttrit Dijonnoise, F.ubsistcd till the year 16^, when it 
W^s suppressed by Lewis the Thirteenth. 

All orders of people were infected by tht/urtr t&eMiricus* The 
studenu of the university put on masks, acted faites, choae a prince 
^ fools among themaelves, dreaded themselves like bishops, andi 
in that state, ran about the streets, committing a thousand diaoiv 
ders. The rector made several ff uitless attempu to put n stop !• 
these riotous proceedings; and the parliament and even th« king 
were obliged to interfere, before they cou d be brought to roMon. 
Among the different kinds of eahibitions, we must aat omit tp 
notice the indecent scenes which passed in the churchesi' where the 

moit 



CUILDJtEN OF THB8PIS. l63^ 

Ah ! whithcr's my Billi hgton fled from Woe's throng, 

So peerless in frame — so illustrious in song ? 

If in Cisalpine meads you incautiously rove, 

Or make Padua's swains leave their lore for your love : 

If 

most holy mysteries of religion were imitated by troops of vu!gstr 
actors. These impious farces, for which the superstitious simpli- 
ciiy of an ignorant age could alone furnish an excuse, subsisted till 
the latter end of the sixteenth century. The Parliament, \a 1571, 
ordered the parishioners of Saint Nicolas to abolish the custom of 
]^rofaning their church, on the Feast of the Holy Sacranicnt, by 
imitating Jesus Christ, the Apostles, and Prophets— >an exhibition 
tccompanied by the most indecent and disgusting buffooneries. 

As soon as the Brethren of the Passion found tnat their Myiteries 
no longer excited the curiosity of the people, who were more 
agreeably amused by the farces of the Enfans sans Souci, they en* 
tcred into an association with their rivals, and as they played toge- 
ther, the pious scenes were mngled with profane intcrludrs, 
-which were called Lcjeu des fois piles. Such were the ridiculous 
diversions of the French at this period. At first these associations, 
or confraiernities, were comp:)sed of Actors who had no object of 
interest in view, but on y sought to piocure amusement or instruc-^ 
tion. But when theatrical axhibitions began generally to prevail, 
many persons devoted their whole time to them, and they wore 
the ftrst Comedians by profession* The celebrity which the Enfans 
ians Souci had acquired, made these assume the same appellation, 
which has led some writers 10 suppose they were the same societies. 
These Comedian* playad sometimes at Paris ; but the Brethren 
#f the Passioa, in virtue of their privilege, prevented them from 
fixing their residence in the capital. At length, however, the 
Parliament having suppressed the representation of Mysteries, and 
the Brotherhood, either from scruple or incapacity, refusing to 
play profane piecea, they let a new Theatre, which they had re- 
cently purchased, to the Comedians : this Theatre stood on the 
tame rpoc where the late Italian Theatre stood. 

Neither genids^ plot, nor invention must be exi^ectcd in the Dra* 
matic Poems of these times. Scenes follow scenes without ordrr . 
or connexion. The time of action is half a century, and somc- 
' times more. The passages from Scripture are quoted literally : 
Jesus Christ is made to preach sermons, half Latin, and half French ; 
ind to administer tlie Sacraiiicnt to his Apostles by a consecrated 
wafer— Saint Anne and the Vir^rin are brought to bed upon the 
Stage, with no more precaution thall that of drawing d\«. c^^x^A^^^.^ 
of tbe bed. Judas plays at chess v*\iYv xV% Wfft- ^^ >^ ¥osii» ^^ \w»^ 



164 A PIN-BA8KET TO THE 



• If you kve in the BaU^ take heed, as you tfead, 
That no nymph of the waters inweaves the salt bed 
\^'ith rough pebbles, to injure thy ivory feet; 
For Envy 'U do much when the deed is not meet ; 



If 



riothy and a quarrel ensuing) he kills his antagonist, then murden 
the father, and marries the mother. Mahomet is mentioned seven 
hundred years before his birth, and is |laced among the Pagui 
Deities. The Governor of Judea sells Bishoprics by auction. Satan 
begs Lucifer to give him his benediction. When they are going 
to cast lots for the garment of Christ, the Devil brings the dice, 
and orders the soldier to whom he delivers them, if he should be 
asked whence thcy came, to say he had them from the Devil; 
tbey then throw, and the losers curse their fate, the Devil who in- 
vented dice, and all those who shall use them in future. Such were 
these grotesque exhibitions, which were well suited to the manners 
of the age. 

The audiv nce-part of the Theatre was nearly the same as at pre- 
sent; but on ihe Stage several scaffolds were erected, one above 
the other, the highest of which represented Paradi&e ; and when 
the scene lay nearer to the earth the Actors descended to the lower 
scafiblds. As Hell was often introduced in the sacred piece?, a 
trap-door was made in the floor to represent a dragon's throaty 
whence issued Demons and Monsters. Before the play began, all 
the Actors (often to the number of two hundred, and upwards) 
•were placed on benches in the front, whence they walked on the 
Stage as their respective parts required their appearance; so that 
the delusion, which is essentially necessary to enhance the pleasure 
of the Audience, was totally destroyed. The performances of the 
Bazochiens and Enfans sans Souci were purely gratuitous ; but the 
Brethren of the Passion exacted money for admission. They even 
raised the price of admission so high, that the Parliament thought 
it necessary to interfere, and forbid them to receive more than tw$ 
sots for each person. Their exhibitions began at one in the after- 
noon, and continued, without intermission, till five. From the 
annual profits of these performances, a thousand livres was, by 
order of Parliament, set apart for the poor. 

Cards were first introduced into France during the reign of 
Charles the Sixth, for the purpose of affording that Monarch somt 
amusement in his lucid intervals. Jacqtiemin Gringoimeur, a 
painter, who lived in the Rue de la Verrerie, was the'first who 
painted " cards in gold and different colours for the King*s amusement,'* 
But this was by no means a new invention, as cards are mentioned 
in the life of Bernird of Sienna, among the instruments of gaming 

N«bicK 



If Stern Jove's massy statue you mocking address, 
Till the Thunderer growls that he cannot caress : 
If up Tivoli's umbrageous bosom you stray, 
While its tlassic cascades wet your charms with the sprayY: 

If 

which were ordered to be burned in the Market-place. The amuse- 
ment, however, had long been neglected, when the deplorable 
state of the King proved the means of reviving it. It was soon 
adopted by the nation, and in less than four years the rage for card* 
playing became so prevalent, that the Provost of Paris publisjied 
an ordinance to forbid the use of cards. But as the Court publicly 
transgressed the prohibition, it was of course iitile attended to by 
the people. 

From the cards which are still used In France, a just idea may 
be formed of the dre's of the age in which they became common. 
The armorial bearings on the drapery of the figures distinguish the , 
reign of Charles the Sixth and Charles the Seventh, when it was 
the fashion for the Nobility to have their arms embroidered on 
their clothes to distinguish them from the common people—- it 
distinction which could not exist at present, says Villaret, when the 
meanest plebeian loads the escutcheon of his peaceful ancestors 
with the mo't murderous instruments of war, and may still be 
deemed modest if he forbear to decorate these ridiculous trophies 
with the coronet of a Count or a Marquis. The names of the 
Kings and Queens refer to an old game, called " King and Queen.*' 
Those of the Knaves are more modern. Ogtr the Dane, and Lan* 
celot^ allude to the heroic days of the ancient Paladins^ while mo- 
dern chivalry is represented by two Noblemen of the Court who 
flourished at this period — the famous La HirCy and the brave 
Hector de Galard, one of the ancestors of the Counts of Brissac. 
Some Authors have pretended to di cover in the cards the subiimcst 
maxins of war and government. According to them the as repre- 
sent money, considered as the nerve of war ; the trejle (irefdil) is 
an emblem of the fertility of the earth, which is necessftiry fof the 
subsistence of armies, which are designated by the jftf^u^j (pikes) 
and carreaux (arrows). The various combinations of the different 
games, they say, develope the most profound mysteries of state- 
policy. But such as are anxious to pursue this iifquiry may consult 
the Authors who have treated upofl the subject. ' 

During the abode of Charles the Sixth at Toulouse, In 1389, he 
granted to the women of (he town, resident in that cvtv^ (tUitt ^t 
faveUTi which convey a strange idea ot iVie TnwaKt^ o\ ^^^R- <vTOLt»* 
These victims of vice and incontinence vjett wfe'^tcx^A. v^ ^^5- ^5 
cessity of wearing, not only a particuUx dt«l*>\j>a>^^'^^^^'^'^'^^^ 
N 3 



166 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 



If reclin'd in deep thought 'gainst the Circus' vast ribs ; 

If you 're chill'd in that cave where the Sibyl told fibs ; 

If, like Achaian wizards, thy magical strains 

'l lush the rude Adriatic, and holdrit in chains : 

Or if in Elysium sequestcr'd you roam, 

Where the good^ pass'd the bourn of our state^ are at 

home ; 
Where etherial spirits, thrice blanch'd from all care. 
Hover round your buoy'd ringlets and hymn in the air ! 
If enwrapp'd in a chlamys you hang o'er the Po, 
Or beslabber the PontifiF's dank feculent toe : 
Or inhale from j^vemo pestiferous steams ; 
Or o'er Peirarca's ashes indulge passion's dreams : 
Ah come, beauteous chantress, our dulness destroy. 
And raise to an acme the national joy, 

marks characteristic of their profession. It was to procure an ex* 
cmption from this law that their applicatioQ to the Court was 
made. In the letters above mentioned, which arc still extant, the 
King declares, that having received the supplication of tke women 
vf pleasure bJongivg to the great brothel oj Toulouse, called the Great 
Abbey (who complained that the Magistrates treated them very 
harshly, in ubjecting them to regulations which prevented them 
from dressing as they pleised, and exposed them to continual 
injuries and in^'ults), and desiring to extend his favour to every 
one, he granted them, and their successors in the said Abbey, 
the permission to wear such gowns and hoods as they pleased, 
of any colour they mljrht prefer, provided only that they should 
wear a gaiter of a different colour round their arm. These 
letters are signed by the King in his Court 0/ Requests; present, the 
Bish»p of Noyon, the Viscount of Melun, ^nguerran Deudin, and 
John d'istoutevi/le. This community preserved its privileges for a 
considerable time, although it changed its name. Pasquier, Who 
lived in the scventrenth century, mentions his having seen the files 
du chateau vert at Toulouse, who bore no other distinctive mark 
than a kind of twisted lace,^ called an aiguillette, on the shoulder ; 
whence came the vulgar expression courirl*aiguilUtte^ to play the 
whore.— r/dfc Giffoxd's History o* France, VoU ii. 



CHILDBEN OF THBSPIff. 1(57 



If Phoebus, disguis'd as a minstrel, should woo you *, 
And gather his beams 'neath a vest to undo you ; 
Would you know 'tis the God, pour your strains ia 

his ears, 
Till the ditty was blended and lost in the spheres ;. 
Then amazement and bliss all his ill shall betray. 
And you hold in fetters the Regent of day ! 

Mr, MWDLETQN.—Q. G. 
I HAVE thought, like a narrow portmanteau, the mind 
Can receive but its ratio in chattels or kind ; 
That certain ideas may in it be stow^J, 
With nice circumspection, to make up its load ; 
Though if carelessly mingled they '11 genefate a pother, 
And inflame and propel with ejectments each other. 
Should Algebra meet with a Muse while conceiving. 
He *d make her miscarry, though Phoebus were grieving; 
The Passions would each pray for difierent weathier. 
Nor woidd Envy and Harmony pig in together:. 

♦ I have recently understood from various cognoscenti who have 
heard Mrs. Billincton at the Opera of St. Carlo at Naples, and 
the Opera at Venice, that her powers of execution were considered 
i at wonderfully brilliant, but they objected to her expression, as 
incomplete. Having had the honor of being well acquainted 
with this lovely Syren, I could not avoid entering the listf in her 
defence, and brought the cavilling oltramontani to acknowledge, 
tha( this presumed defect resulted from her imperfect knowledge 
of the national idiom; and not from any deficiency of natural 
poww or harmonic attainment, both of which she possesses in 
anrly the highest possible order. — Mr. Br i del, of Stoke New« 
Ifkgton, who teaches the French language more classically and purely 
than any person I have known, is not, with all his knowledge, a 
complete master of our idiom; «o very difficult is \t \o w:c^\^N«\»as. 
cannot be defined* 



trv^Q^ 



168 A F1»-BA»KBT TO Vm 

Trigonometry 'd tip laugfaiiig»»Miflli a Mendov^^ 
And wild Faith woukl pia dowA the Beik Leffrcj 

'pose her! 
Wit and Alchymy 'd never inhabit one cott^e. 
Or Law and AtCroaomy eat the same pottage ; 
More than \kM of the parties must lose half their p6l 
Or strong Ltinacyll seize on the whole as her dxrmt 
How adust — ^how chapfallen poorMiDDLETON con 
He is siffhing — ^he*s mute — ^he is biting his thumbs! 
How he hangs down his overcharg'd skull on his bre 
Making Sentiment, Folly, and Sadness a ]ttu 
Is the youth crossed in love, that he ponders so dokft 
Has he drank lo much grief that he 's gat all his sOtd ! 
Who has itcep'd him in bitters, like hides by a tannt 
Are his senses all btnknipt *-— •r is it hi§ manner ? 
Years ago he was belter^ he mends not by age ; 
He looks worn like a post-horse whoM run a long st 
This can't be Laertet^ or Romeo — ^what fellows! 
Give the bipen more wing— blow his coab with 

bellows. 
An inanity seems to ^surp all his facei 
Like the mien of the blind who Vc unconscious of gi 

* Ia the course of thit season, at the termination of the (ii 
of the Tragedy of Zartii Mr. Miitdlston put off the ha 
his character^ and, re«dressing himself, walked out of the how 
neighbouring tavern, from wheoce he wrote a note to the £ 
Manager, informing him that he would not perform anf 
that evening. In the conMquent apology in the JotifAal 
Public were informed that Mr. Middlbtom yru dtfangtdf* 
not mean to disptte the truth or propriety of the extent 
bat only wonder that, agreeably to exutiag dreaiMftiMC* 
apolijsies are not more general ( 



CHILDREN OP THESPIS. l6g 

It 18 odd he can prate such good sense and retains none. 

But many sell letters whose idiom pains one ; 

A ruthless causticity cramps his best deeds, 

And he tortures poor Truth till she whimpers and bleeds; 

He looks as if Fate had suspended his thought, 

Yet this vacancy speaks not that peace which it ought : 

Some affect nonchalance whose reflections oft pang 'em, 

And thieves plead Not guilty, whose crimes they know '11 

hang 'em ! 
Those feel scandal most who have felt diminution, 
Aad none deny God but who fear retribution^ 
Some may call this a treat, but as tests don't agree, 
"What is charming to them may be hateful to me ; 
"Tis like Germanic l)anquets, or Pleasures Hehetique, 
Where, after the cates, they produce an emetic. 
Oh I'm pain'd when a driv'Ier yawns wide his brown jaw, 
I'd as soon hear smiths filing the teeth of a saw ; 
Then my frame's all antipathy, bustle, and wonder. 
Like the deep in a storm, or young ducks amid thunder.. 
John Palmer, I trow, is that man who alone 
Can denote in his act that the stage is his own ; 
His demeanour proclaimsj as he struts o'er each boards 
This, this is my empire, and I am its Lord ; 
And though he stalks wide like a despot in drink. 
There is wit in his rage, and we see the man think. 

Miss DE CJMP.^B. L. 

What wood-nymph is this nestling here enfamllle f 
Are no fauns at her elbow ?— I vow she's genteel : 



170 A PIN-BAtKBT TO THB 

How her boddice hangs loosely— what wcU-manner't 

strutting ! 
Has she lost a fond swain ?— Has the gipsy been nutting! 
Now I look 'tis no wood-nymph, but some agile deft 
Atalanta held dear, but though bring she left : 
Or Tuscan emblazon'd*, or Sylph I declare ; 
Does she tread on the pasture or walk in the air ? 

] 

• Tbt Italian Drama. 
After the extinction of the Latin Theatres, the TtiHsa Dr 
ma degenerated into vulgarity and superstition, and its pnfc 
sors strolled from town to town : it languished thus nfltS fl 
twelfth century, when it gradually recovered its vi|[er, U 
admitted fhe embellishments of dialogue. Here it a chaam 
the history of the Italian Stage comprchcnditig Several eentOf^ 
The Academy of Siemui wag tho first body of petaons who- set 1 
czatnplc of composing and representing correct Comedies. Tl 
was followed by others in the seventeenth century; Mid t 
hired Actors, who until that period had always acted extempa 
or windering improvlsatori^ never perfonx^cH fay piece which Tu 
not been previously printAd. The I'h^atfes are open at J« 
only the last eight days of the Carnival; those of Venice fromt 
month of October to the first day of Lent. ' In this city t 
Spectators go masqucd to the public diversions — the womSD 
quality occupy the front boxes, and the C^urtexans the row i| 
mediately below them. The occupants of the Pit go ill-dfei| 
it being the custom to spit out of the Boxes into the PitV*< 
Dramatists of Italy have never been able to produce a legitiw 
Comedy, although the Operas of Metastash deserve fflticn pfU 
Before his time the PasUr FitU was their most celebrated pi£ 
Their love of Searamoucby and his eccentricities, supersedes th 
regards for nature or truth. The Italian writers have beea HI 
zealous to [^certain the precise time in which the Opefa wal 
troduced : Some maintain that the Euridice of Rinuccini, ad 
in Florence in 1 600, on the marriage of Mary de Medieis to Bt 
the Fourth of France, was the first entertainment of this (Xi 
Others ascribe the invention to Emllio del Cavalieri, who, in I< 
exhibited // Satyro^ and La Dhperaziane de FUenOy both mM 
pastorals, at Florence. Some take their date- from that mM* 
Tragedy which the Senate and Republic caused to be ac:te3 
the Palace of the Doge before Htnry III, when he passed thwn 
Veoice on his return from Poland in 1574. It is, howe^ 



^— g« " ■ ' ...■■^-^ 

; made up of blood> bones, and muscLes like us? 
ft pbantom or charmer ?-^^ give it a buss : 
V she bounds o'er the greensward, bow jocund she 

Pings ! 
/ adroitly she leaps— sure she treads upon springs ! 

How 

y generally agreed, that the first Opera w;i$ exhibited «t 
ce in 1 634. 

1^ Italian Music is supposed to have approached the nearest 
xfection in the qiiddle of the last ceptury, and continued its 
y to the beginning of this. The compositions of the elder 
Ipifi and ^n^cini are among the proofs of this assertion ; 
that period they have become affected^ and not natural^ an4 
substituted barsbtu*s sind 0ggularity for ex^rfsiion and delicaip 
f K.any of the Italian ('on>posers are so upcandid, that 
wiU not allow i r. Arn£ paerit for composing his inimitable 
-a^of Artaxeexes, although seven Operas on the same sub^ 
have been set by different. Itahan A usicians, apd not ope of 
I in any degree e^ual to the excellent effort fhey presume tp 
f. It shoujd b? noted that the remains of this great man 
lie in Coven^-^rdep Church-yard, without a memorial, 
hen the Italian Opkra was introduced into this country, 
lyrediy had all the charm of novelty to recommend it, but, m 
>pinion, it had feif charms besides : the v^ry formation of an 
ra, as at present cpj^ityted, is sych a vipUtion of all order 
principle of social action, that I have no dou^t bpt a more 
isophic generation will characterize vs as barb«|ri4n« for hav- 
|ver anffered it to be so pr^v^Ient and superbly ep«)uraged. 
,st that these remarks wilj only be considered ^ atflying to 
vehicle of the music, though I am very far fropi^ Jn^kving 
even the mude is of that character whicji sjipuld pbqte as 
erfuUy as it may astqnisb, I think that when music loses its 
er to soothe or rouse the human mind, it is np longer to be 
idered as a liberal Science, but a depraved and depriving w^rt. 
n we admire what we cannot approve ; and admiration is a 
Ion suited to children more than men. and womep ! 
originated with us in 1706, from a subscription of thirty per- 
of quality, at jool. each, and the Architect, ^ij: John Van- 
CH, inscribed it thus (as a compliment to the Cqpntiss Qf 
£r*land, who at that time was both « c€lcl)m*4 beauty 
pkrtuE^n) ; 

TO THE LXTTI-I WHIG. 



172 A PIK-BASKBT TO THK 



How her sandal is wetted — I thought *t was a shoe j 
The poor little wand'rer'll catch cold with the dew : 
How she trips ! how she leers ! how she ogles and sighs! 
What a Cyprian banditti are couch'd in her eyes ! 

And 

But though under the direction of Bittirtdn and Cov« 
GRZVE, what from the house heine too large, upon trials for the 
voice, with the ill success of several Operas, it answered dieir ex* 
pectations so inadequately, that Congreve retired from the m»- 
nagement Vanbrl oh tried it a few years after to little better 
account, and sold it to Owen Swinet, Esq. a Gentleman oT 
some fortune of the kingdom of Ireland. 

To Swine Y it was more the receptacle of his pleasures thu Us 
profits ; for after altering the house to make it more audible, aft 
a very ^reat expence, it finally accelerated his ruin. 

The immortal Hamdbl afterwards occasionally used it for the 
performance of Cpcras, and his dther pieces; but what from die 
spirit of party, and the ear of the Public not being then propcny' 
formed to relish such excellent compositions, he quitted England 
in disgust, and went to Ireland, where he first brought out his 
Messiah, that great harbinger of his future fame. 

Heidegger succeeded Hansel, who, by mixing Masqpie^ 
rades with Operas, was enabled to make out a life of genteel ex- 
pediency. He was besides the arbiter elegapiiarum amongst the 
Nobility, which considerably contributed to his income. 

The Opera-house afterwards was under a kind of CommitUab^* 
in which little seems to have been obtained more than ihe cooi- 
mon profits of performers, &c. 

1 he Hon. Mr. Hobart, now Earl of Buckinghamshire^ tkH 
became sole Manager. He, after manv years trial, and a tola** 
ble taste for Italian music, it is generally supposed went out mmi^ 
lome thousand pounds. 

Sensual Yates, the Comedian, succeeded Mr. Hobart. & 
lone acquaintance with places of public resort, the caprice of 
performers, the fraud of door-keepers, &c. Enabled him to foUi* 
such economical re/ormatiorij that on his relinquishing iti in 
the language of the City, he receded a ietter man than ^ 
came in. 

Messrs. Sheridan and Harris followed next. Here vmrnnti 
promise and great expectation ; but what from a complicatks of 
divided interests, and both having something else to do, the litter 
Gentleman made a timely retreat, which was soon followed by 
his attic compeer, who, it is said, sold his share of the property 
for tvfo thousand pounds profit. 

Mr. 



GHILDHEN OF THESPI9. 17^ 

And each laughs malicious, has quivers and darts, 
Let your roistering bachelors look to their hearts* 
By my foith, but the traitress comes *mong us well 
, guarded ; 

How the deuce does she think she *11 be fed or rewarded ? 
Lo she steps as Aurora descends from her car ! 
As I live 'tis De Camp ! — what a pretty Bizarre/ 
As a scenic professor, say how can you place her ? 
We have none of her genusy yet we '11 not debase her ; 
For a principal tree she lacks stoutness and leaf; 
As a Syren she's feeble, qr Melody's chief: 
Indeterminate worth marks her heels and her head ; 
For z heroine too small — for a drab too well bred ; 
Yet she breathes a melange — she *s too potent to fail. 
And her dance, and her song, and expression prevail. 

Mr. Crauford kept the house together for some time after; 
Imt though he carried a knowledge of above fifty years experi- 
ence into the business, joined witngreat attention and integrity, 
what from his advanced age, and a variety of other causes, &c. 
he resigned in favour of Sir John Gallinx. Previous to this 
period the pcoperty became involved in a number of law-suits, 
Hvluch^ aided by personal disagreements amongst the performers, 
rendered the Opera-house far from being the residence of har- 
mony. In June 1789 it was wholly consumed by fire, and which 
b was presumed to have originated in malice. It was rebuilt by 
L Mr. Novotiehiiy and became at length under the management of 
f Mr. Taylor, who is the present Mimic Monarch of the erratic 
I minstrels. 

I I expect it will be understooH that, in my remarks upon the Ita- 

[ lian Opera, I have no intention whatever of conveying any thing 

I like an affront to the natives of Italy, with many of whom I have 

P had the honor to be acquainted— or of disputing their general 

f knowledge or ability. That People who have generated a Ga l i- 

Lto, anARiosTo, aRAFAZLLs, a Michael Angelo, a Bo- 

KAROTTI, die Medici, aScARLAxi, aCoRSLLi, a Sacchini, 

a Cx PRi A N I, and aBARTOLozzi, must deserve tK^ t^\.«scQ. <A >^^ 

wise and the liberal of all nations. 



o 



^JtiJt 



174 A ?IK-BA8KET TO T»fi 

» ■ I .. I .. Ill ■ I ......... ■ I,, 

She playfully measures the round of her duties. 

And her mind, with a rational zeal, guards her beauties : 

She was made camerlera to wait on Thalia, 

To pin on her drap'ry and besom her via ; 

She's the Mutress of Gesture^^^iht handmaid of Art, 

She gives added points to an ill- written part. 

She enforces a jest with a cheek wreath'd with smHes, 

She '< the mien of a Bacchante, but none of her wiles : 

Her rare atoms are minted, half foreign, half British, 

Thus she 's natally sombre, or natally skittish — 

When that vile mauvmse honte^ which absotiw English 

grace, 
Drives the nerves andtheUood to rebel in the fkce. 
The Genii that nurtur'd her ancestry's f^ne. 
Suppresses the impulse, the dread, and the shame. 
Though in Flippancy's parish she meets approbation, 
IJve oft thought her Vijigurante out of her station; 
All those likings we see which she caught in her youth : 
Beat a bear as you will he 'U tear guts with his tooth* 
What a tyrant is Habit ! she makes Wit her prey. 
And beguiles us, like Basilisks, out of our way ! 
When Collegians debate, how it smacks of the schooli 
And all Philomaths argue by — one given ruie» 

Mr. TOWNSEND.-'C. G. 
From those sky-scraping hills where the bands smote tk 
lyre,. 
And assail'd Heaven's portals with hymn and with fire J 
Where Griffin ap Griffiths^ ap Preece^ ap LeipeWin^ 
Thought a mud-built chateau was a palace to dwell in ; 



CHI^LDftEN OF THESPIS, 175' 

Where the harper (so roguish) in magical measures. 
Attracts his frail Winny to amorous pleasures— 
Yet^the varlet, like DavU, demands to be sav'd. 
Though th' Exciseman 's cornuted, and he is be^knav'd ! 
Where Tysilio* recorded steel'd Gornilla's vice ; 
Where the passions are. thundering, and calm in a trice ; 

Where 

* A hiT t'^ .Ki- Trav St AT ION from apart of the Wklch Ha^ 
TOS.T, by -Tysilio, who wrote in the sixth Century , the MS* 
of which is now in the Bodleian Library^ where it was recently ren» 
atred into English by a Welch Gentleman, and is now, for the first 
time, printed — containing a novel and authentic Account of. LEAR, 
King OF tbs BaiTONs, and his 2 hree Daughters. 

This ancient Welch Author 'and I believe this slory) was frequently 
quoted by Gsoffasy of Monmouth, who wrote in Latiix. 

Afte& the Death of Bladud, his Son Llur Llwyd (Lear) 
became King of the Britons. He governed virtuously and just, and 
built a town on the river Soran, called Caer Lur (Lear's Town) 
afterwards Caer Lur, and now Leicester. He had no Sons-<-bat 
l^ree Daughters, whose Names were Gormilla, Raoun, and 
CoROiLLA, whom be loved most tenderly, but especially his 
youngc>t Daughter Cordilla. W hen he became old, he thought o£ 
dividing the Isle of Britain, as a portion for his Daughters. But t» 
make a trial of their affection and 'duty to him, and to know who 
deserved the best part of his Kingdom, he asked each of them who 
loved him mMt. Gornilla, the eldest, made answer— <* That she 
loved him more than her own soul.** The Father replied—" Since 
you regard my old age be ''ore your own soul, my dearest Davgh- 
ter, I will repay your affection, and you shall be married to the 
man you desire, and the third par^ of my Kingdom shall be your 
portion." The question was proposed to Ragun, the second 
Daughter, who replied — " That she could not express her tender 
affection for her dear Father, but she loved him above all creatures ;" 
the Father answered*^'' That he loved her as much, and would be« 
stow the same upon her as his eldest Daughter Gornilla. *'--Cordil- 
la, perceiving how they betrayed her credulous Father with flattery, 
thought of making a suitable answer to his question ; when, being 
uked, she s^id-^" My dearest Father, although there are some 



17^ A FIN-BASKET TO THE 



Where the Cure exists in his primeval habits. 
Whose spousy *s as fecund as wild Norfolk rabbits ; 
Whose progeny 's hoselcss as Munster-mens toes, 
But prattling as jays, and as agile as roes : 

mo 

who profess to love you beyond bounds, yet I love you, my dear 
Father, as much as it is the duty of a Duughterto love ber Father, 
neither n>orc or Ics-, tnd take this as ray answer— how much you 
have, so much is your value, and so I love you."— The Father, 
thinking she spoke this from her heart, angrily replied, "Since you 
thus return my love and tender care for you, and not think me 
worthy the love your Sisters expressed for me, in the same maoDer 
will I return my affection towards you ; henceforth I will exdsde 
you from any inheritance in my Kingdom, and the portion I in- 
tended for you shall be given to your Sisters, and their descendtntt 
for ever." 

After consulting with the Wise Men of his Court, he gifc Gor- 
nilla in marriage to Maglawn, Prince of Aiban, and Ragun he gave 
to Hymyn, Prince of U'alcs a:.d Duke of Cornwall. He divided 
the Island in two parts, intended as a portion for bis Daughten. 

It happened that Aganippus, King of Gaul, having heard of the 
fame of Cordilla, and her virtuous and discreet conduct, sent Am* 
bassadors to Lear to ask her in marriage. The Father, still retaining 
his anger, sent an answer that he was willing to bestow his Dangh* 
ter, but without either money or territorief, as he had already pro- 
mised his kingdom and treasures to his elder Daughters* Wbeo 
this was told Aganippus by jthe Ambassadors, and how beautifiil 
Cordilla was, he sent again to Lear, and told him, that he was . 
possessed both of treasures and territories, and wanted nothing but 
a virtuous and loving Wife, that he might have children by htr to 
inherit his dominions. Lear consented, and Cordilla was sent to 
Gaul, and married to Aganippus. 

When Lear became infirm by old age, the two Dukes upon 
whom he had bestowed the Isle of Britain with his two Daughters, 
made an insurrection against him, and deprived him of all regal 
power and authority, which he had hitherto exercised with great 
glory and wisdom. They came to an agreement, and Maglawn, 
Prince of Albap, agreed to take his Father-in-law to his house, aod 
that he should have sixty Knights for his attendants. After half a 
year's sUy at Maglawn's, his Daughter Gornilla complained to 
her Father of the number of his servants, who bred disturba^ice in 
the Court, aod that he must discharge half the number of his reti- 
nue, 



CHILUREK OF THESPIS. 17/ 

Who vends horns of malt to add penny to penny, 
And who smoaks, and who fiddles, and dances with any ; 
Whose forehead, when badg'ring the ebon Fiend, recks ; 
Whose hot blood 's richly crost, like the veins in his , 

cheeks ; 
Whose ghoul's his yoke-fellow, whose gods are— his ^ 

leeks ; 

Who, 

irae, and content himself with thirty. The Father, resenting this 
treatment of his Daughter, immediately departed from Maglawn, ■ 
and went to Hymyn, who had married his Daughter Ragun, where 
he met with an honorable reception. A quarrel happened between 
the servants of Hymyn, and^ those of Lear, which so raised Ra|;un'8 
indignation, that she ordered her Father to discharge all his at^ 
tendants but five. At this ungenerous behaviour of his Daughter he 
vraa much afflicted, and went back again to Maglawn's Court, with 
hopes that the love of his Daughter might return, to pity his mU 
scry; but she vowed he should not enter her house, if he did 
not dismiss all his retinue but one roan, and that all this vtia " 
pomp did not become his old age, who should be thankful for 
fai4 forfeited life.. He now reflecied upon his former elevated sUte» 
and the miserable condition to which he was reduced ; he thought of 
going to see his youngest Daughter, Cordilla, whom he had treated 
so unworthily, and hoped his misery would be pitied, and she 
would grant him a subsistence. When he went to the ship, of all 
bis numerous retinue, only three followed him. He sighed and 
aid, '* The remembrance of lost happiness is to me a greater pu« 
oichment than my present calamity : to think of time past, who did 
OOt tremble at my frown ? What numbers obeyed my commands 
-when I trod the martial field to fight die battles of my country, 
when I plundered cities, aud erased the castles of my enemies P O 
God ! when will the t'me come that I shall be able to avenge those 
that forsook me in my distress ? Oh, how true was thy answer, 
Cdrdilla, when I asked thee concerning thy love ; when I had 
treasures to give, they valued me ; when my gifts ceased, my friends 
disappeared. O, my child .' with what face can 1 see thee, when I 
tent thee away upon such dishonorable terms, and ga.%e all to thy 
Sisters^ who, in return for the many favors I conferred on them^ ^ 
make their distressed Father an allCbn lo his country !" 

Jlc arrived near the city where his Daughter Cordilla dwelt, and 
sent a messenger to acquaint her of the distress he had faUcfWA^ ^k^.^ 
iesire her icUcf. Cordilla, surprised, wxd mOa. XJtw^'vtvVv cs«>- 
O 3 ^i^sj^- 



J 78 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

Who, sleeping, an army of mice watch his phlegm. 
And regale on the fumes of hot cheese from his wem ; 
While some, rashly vent'ring to steal ere 't is chyle, 
Are scduc'd into death, and stick fSwt in his bile ! — 
From such mountaineers, happy Townsend's descendedj 
Wliom Melody hails, whom the Muse has befriended 1 

W^hen this jocular Cambrian rush'd on to act, 
All Wales was confounded — the Aps moan'd the fact ; 
Grief smote their intestines — those pin'd who had boast- 
ed— 
The kids ceas'd to browze, and the slice was un- 

toasted ; 
They brought forth the pedigree, laden with fears. 
And wash'd out his name from the scroll with their tears! 
Shall that youth be a Player ? old Penmanmaur cried I 
Shall that youth be a Mummer ? the Severn replied ! 

asked bow many men her Father had with him ; he said only threci 
Cordilla gave as tnuch money as she thought would be s.uificicntf 
and gave orders to the messengers to carry her Father to the next 
town, and to give word that he was sick, and to provide for him 
clothes, and all other necessaries. She likewise sent for her Father'i 
service forty horsemen (Knights). 

And King Aganippus and bis wife, with the chief of the Nobi- 
lity, went out to meet his Father-in-law, and received him honora- 
bly. And Lear told Aganippus and his Daughter that he was ex- 
pelled from his Kingf'om by his Sons>in-l»w and Daughters, and 
that he was come to implore their assistance to recover his domi- 
nions. And Aganippus raised a formidable army over all Gaul, in 
order to replace his Father-in-law on the throne of Britain. 

Lear with his Daughter returned to Britain, with the forces they 
had raised, and routed th« army of his Sons-in-law in several bat- 
tles, and at last killed them, which terminated the contest. Thus 
having reduced the whole Island under his-power, he was reinstated 
on the throne of Britain, and died about three years afterwards. He 
held the government of Britain forty years, and was magnificently 
buried by his Daughter Cordilla in Caer Lur, and was succcedea 
by her. 

Shaft 



CHILDREN OF TUESPIS. 1^9 

Shall he lack barro meeny^ who 'd here got a peck-o ? 
Shall he want barro couse ? answer'd Mona's hoarse Echo ! 
You are scudding to London, like wrecks 'fore the 

wind ; 
You are going to Ruin, the Echo rejoin'd : 
Yet both Echo and kindred thought falsely in that. 
For mellifluous Town send will laugh and grow fat !^- 
Were his song sung to Candor, the ballad might please 

her ; 
Though while Incledon breathes, he can ne'er be a 

Caesar : 
Independent of madrigals, crotchets, or lay, 
He has op'd for his passage a lateral way : 
He 's a good low Comedian— a lad of some mettle — 
But we *ve tinkers unowned who could solder a kettle. 
When first brought to Thalia's head-quarters, he star'd 
To be roll*d as a substitute, half unprepar'd ; 
But he handles that musquet so well which was lent. 
She'll not part with hex Tyro — the wench is con* 

tent, — 
With address he enforces the Mendicant's jest, 
And his marauding Gibbet* % a rogue in request: 
Nay, it is not decided, in general belief. 
Which part he doth best— or the beggar or thief I 

Mrs. DAVENPORT.'-C. G. 

As our sight loves green hues, though we cannot tett 
why. 
So forms without grace solace many an eye* 



f80 A FIK-BA8KET TO TRB 

When a German • coche d'eau on the Rhine is afloat. 
That dame*8 the most honored whose weight txims the 

hoat. 
*Mong the Tartars, at least thus the Jesuits inform us, 
Their primary Gods must have hellies enormous : 

So 

* Tkt GlAMAN DaAMA. 

The German Theatre originated from those bardi, or hUsUf 
singers^ who were accustomed to recite the elogies of their heroett 
they were famous even in the days of Otho the Great, who gave them 
considerable privileges, which were ratified by Maximilian the First* 
Different clubs of these Master-singers were to be found in all the 
principal cities of Germany, as Mentz, Strasbourg, Nurembourg, 
and Augsbourg. They had permission to exhibit at tournament^ 
public meetings, and other solemn ceremonies. In the sixteenth 
age the shows commenced, when a shoe* maker of Nuremboutg, 
named Haanssachs^ composed some dramatic pieces. From 15x610 
1630, their sacred and profane Tragedies were but wretched. In 
1616 a Company of Dutch Plax'crs went to Hamburgh, and the 
German Theatre became amended by imitating them. Since i6$Q 
the German Players were more improved by the instruction of some 
Italian Companies, who were invited by the German Courts; tut 
that was an improvement not unmixed with contamination of senti- 
ment and manners. It is common in their Tragedies to hear horri- 
ble sounds from the Stage, and see Spectres and Phantoms i^th 
bloody swords in their hands, or sticking in their bosoms, with 
every accompanying object that can excite terror even in the most 
savage bosom!— They began to reform the usages of their Theatre 
about one hundred and fifty years ago, John Opttz, Andrew Gry-- 
phiust and Gasper de Lohenstein^ were the most able of Uieir Drama* 
tists. The Horribilkribrifax^ by Gryphius^ was a favorite Perform* 
ance. Since this period the Germanic Theatre has been much cor- 
rected, by their translations from the most celebrated of the English, 
French, and Italian Dramas. The Emperors and Electors of Saxony 
have protected several Theatric Companies: Madame Maaa, 
Mrs. Stoaacb, and Mr Kelly, of our Theatres, were all in the 
service of the late Emperor ; and the late Elector of Bavaria baA an 
Opera at AfanA^m, under the management of the amiable Rauz— 
ziNi, who is now at Bath. There was a troop of French Come- 
dians in Hanover, and very recently an English Company at Ham- 
burgh, under the direction of a Mr. Willxamsoit, who belonged 
to- the Little Theatre in the Haymarket. 



} 



CHILDREN OP THESFIS. 181 

So commensurate heaviness dignifies state* 

And the belle and the deity both must be great !— 

These remarks are apologies meant to precede 

My Davenport's entrty her frame and her deed. 

Who scarce e'er makes the veins of Propriety bleed. 

TUtx fussocky Matrons are ably sustain 'd, 

And e'en at her Nurses I *ve not been much pain'd : 

Though she has not enough of the porpus, to fill 

Those dames elephantic that Webb did with skill ; 

Which, like Dutch skippers' boats, would most bulkily 

rove. 
When the helm's wriggled hot to make all the rest move I 
She's but pistols to fire, the other 'd great guns ! 
She 's but firkins of tallow, the other had tons ! 

When we prate of comparisons, shortest or longest, 
Or fairest or foulest, or weakest or strongest, 

Their knowledge or study of the unities is of modern. origin.«-i 
The first German writer that I have been able to discover, who at- 
tempted to purity the Drama of his country with any success, and 
rescue it from Italian whim and absurdity, was Rot hem, who 
wrote A Description of German Poztry^ which was printed at Leipsic 
in j6o8. The Comedy of the Baroness 0/ Bruchsa/, And the Play of 
Thf Robbers (both of which have been translated into English), are 
among the most perfect of their Pieces— and it should be noted, 
were received with a degree of approbation proportioned to their 
superior merit*?. 

1 think, so far as my observation can operate, that the German 
disposition is too phlegmatic, and their national imagination too un- 
tractable, to produce any eminent Comic writer ; and they have a 
sturdy morality, which seems inclined to dispute every inch of 
ground with Fiction, or meretricious embellishment. All that can 
be eflFectcd by industry they will accomplish. We have now in 
London a Baumgartem and a Cramer, and we have had a 
Haydn, who arc all highly honorable to the soil which gave them 
birth ; and they have produced a Handel, who i$ the Hercules, if 
not tUe Almighty, of the musical world ! 



I8d A PIN-BASKET TO TBB I 

How silly we are to forget in this measure^ \ 2^ 

ITiat the prcjudic'd mind forms its griefs and its pleif j. 

sure! 

What is little to one, to another is great, ^. 

So agrcc'bly has Jupiter chequer'd our state ! j_^ 

I have doubted if aught of felicity lies •p 
In the diadem'^ round, or our being as wise : , A 

E'en PhOosophy soaring to meliorate his kind, u 

Might, o'erbome by that blaze he had rais'd, becone ^ 

blind : * »jr 

As Alchymy gives up his health o'er his fire ! tt 
As sweet Reason consumes in the fever of ire ! . tt 

Thus convinced, let your cavillers cease to dej^ore p 

That Dame Pitt is inert — that Dame Webb is » p^' 

more : j^ 
Let U8 toil to forget that we ever have seen 'em, 
And our Davenport hail, who is something betweei 

'em. 
Let U9 hang not, like dotards, on days that are gone, 

'T will enhance not a bhss, 'cause such blisses are done : r 
Let us feed, but not satiate, with what's in our dish- 
Let us make what is minister'd square with our wish. 

Mr. KNIGHT.--C. G. 
Be Impertinence dumb, and let Mumm'ry be frighted. 
Here is Knight, who '11 make Comedy's sons less be- 
nighted ! 
Though in many things fitted his compeers to teach, 
His provincial idiom colours bis speech: 

Not 






I 



CHILDHEN OP THBSPIS. 163 

Not quite purified yet by his vomits aiid throes. 

He 'a too graceful * for clowns^ and too dowiiish for 

beaus ; 
Yet for luminous toil was this candidate made ; 
He *8 a tulip that is not completely displayed : 
Though ThaHa 's but complaisant now, she '11 adore him. 
And the bright Land of Promise lies open before him. 
His Francis is good, if not all that I mean. 
And though Edwin performed it, it yet may be seen s 
Though La MASH is the best scenic puff y I know. 
His chart 'ring in Clack it suspends social woe 2 
His action is oft what Propriety *d seek— 
For most Players cease actings when ceasing to speak : 
His Slender 's a morceau that honors his skill. 
It offends not sWeet Truth— it does Nature no ill 5 
In a strain of chaste humour he makes the Muse gay. 
We have nothing so chaste in a similar way : 
This portraiture glads me most hi^y, because 
'Tis the vice of the Age to transgress Nature's laws : 
One Animal thinks that distorting his legs 
Is a very good joke ; another Mime begs 
That you all will applaud when he 's dancing a jig ; 
A third you'd be civil — at least to his wig . 
Away with such antics, I 'm craz'd when I view 'em— * 
Bring the Anthropophagi, perhaps they may stew 'em. 

* When I was very yoting, I went to see Mr. Shea i dan in 
the Part of ItOrd Townlsy (a Character whkh he snstaiiKd 
with all the sententious difnity of the old school), and sitting nest 
'to my late friend Mr. Ross the Comedian, I adced his opinion o£ 
the Perfonnanceft who sarcastically replied, dut he had seen 
Xlwnstiiur To%imUy^ but not Lord T^WfUey, 



'^l^osx^ 



184 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

There arc parts, it is true, that some tumult require, 
But then Vanity's breath must not o'erblow Wit's fire ; 
The excessive in manner makes acting such stuff — 
Of two faults 'twould be best to do less than enough ! 
Behold flippant Suett run riot with Taste, 
And lay the domains of rich Excellence waste : 
Yet this is the man who provokes cv'ry Muse ! 
Yet this is the man who wears Parsons his shoes 1 
In a iermu at Harlaem he 'd win all that thunder. 
Which idiots give zanies, when idiots wonder *. 

Though Folly shall never gain strength from my lays, 
Folly hies to the Journals, and buys his own praise ; 
Writes accounts of his Itfe^ pompous, £sdse, and absurd, 
In which all is recounted that — never occurred! — 
Oh ! it must not be thought that my restricted skill 
Can be ever suborn'd to a Manager's will ; 
I 'd sooner be crush'd like your Birmingham buttons. 
Or each day in the mart clean the breeches of gluttons- 
Wipe the reeking, rank oozings ftoni Africans' feet. 
Or make asafatida 'mid Summer's heat — 
Call the soul of a lawyer from hell's awful shades. 
Prop the fame of a scoundrel, or flatter old maids. 

♦ I regret to observe, that the present shameful practice of our low 
Comedians, in perverting the sense of the Dramatist, by their own 
unappropriate buffooneries and licentiousness, is not sufEciently re* 
sistcd by the audience. As it is the property of Wisdonni to be 
calm, and Folly to be boisterous, the discriminating part of the 
spectators behold such errors with silent pity — while the more nu- 
merous and bestial portion applaud the violation.— —This species 
of scenic impertinence was not wholly unknown to the Ancients, as 
•we understand from Plautus^ that Pellio^ a scurvy Comedian of his 
time, took so many liberties in his Epidicus^ that the enraged Poet 
affronted him in public on the ensuing day, during the represenu* 
tion of the Baahidcs* 



CU^LOREtf OP THESES. 185 

What superlative bKsscs can Madness bestow ! 
How remote is her keenest paroxysm from woe ! * 

Lo! Malone and George Ste evens like nightmen 

appear. 
All bestain'd ^ith Wack letter, T?^thout eye or earl 
How, like two master scavengers, each takes his post, 
And he seems the proudest who thinks he stinks most ; 
How, cover'd with cobwebs, and sullied with rust, 
Dishevell'd by scratchings, and coated with dust. 
With the Ireland s. Parr, and some more, thdrsupe- 

riors, 
Like so many blisters on Shakespearb^s posteriors! 
They have all been collating to bring pence and fame-— 
Do not brush off their filth, that would give them to 

Shame : 
They believe they are all in request, Kke Port wine, 
And that vessels most foul hold the liquof most fine* 
Thus they value their stench, their incrustings and 8oak« 

ings, 
And he thinks he 's most learn'd, who *s most deep in his 

croakings: 
They imagine their dung, like the swalldw's, should aid 

'em. 
And prevent either College to search or invade 'em. . 
How Credulity's host, with mouths open, precede 'em ! 
How Renown's -bloated harlot grhis wide to mislead 'em ! 
What a squadron of dunderheads ! how they all swell ! 
How they puff and distend ! are you sure they are well ? 
The inflation gets bigger — Oh Jesu, they stare! 
Run your knife in their bladders, let out \5afc iwj2L^^% 



186 A FIN-BASKET TO THE 

These were all in the van — ^in the rear were a crowd 
Lesser limb'd — ^less obnoxious — ^less bronz'd — ^and I 

loud : 
Tiny Aitken, that pretty Parnassian Tom Tit, 
And grublings who mumble the bowels of Wit : 
JoAH Bates had been there, for the Demon was 

him. 
But his Genius stept in — ^he was chok'd with a — mifi/m 
Now return *d from their toil, how they simpering 

down. 
For they've been seven weeks crucifying — a Noun! 
Last year an unfortvmate jticcent was tost, 
Like a natural child, when its parents are lost — 
And some Syttables also they strove to deform. 
But they were so sturdy they rode out the storm ; 
They insulted past Ages^ and threw them in tears. 
And made Chevaliers tilt who 'd been dead many yeari 
Forc*d Reason and Faith to strip naked and box. 
And put old Expression*^ broad feet in the stocks ; 
Made jolly Absur^y sing lo Paan ! 
And Indexes twist like an Antipodean ! 
Made our Idiom illusion, like Will-o'-the-wisp— 
Chronology stagger, and Prosody lisp— 
Orthography row in Fraud*% new vampt-up boat — 
And that eel. Phraseology ^ wear a new coat ; — 
Gave a strong diuretic to Sound, after dinner, 
T' evacuate that Spirit she'd gathered within her— r 
Forc*d the Neuters to marry, and treble their cares, 
And msidc^fFords shew their Genders, in spite of tl 

pray'rs*- 



CHILDREII OP THESPIS. 18/ 

Took a general warrant for Metaphors out^ 
And put Dlthyrambics and Periods to rout- 
Swore Xh* Imperative Mood was a thing of offence. 
And made both the Co/^fi/ rebel against Sense : 
They are all encuirasse! — bring essence of roses; 
Are th' olfactories niimb'd ? let me ask if you 've noses : 
These syllable-mongers, or mongrels, are sighing— 
They 're more olidous far than a Renegade dying ; 
Each has dar'd, in his feat, 'yond the length of his tether^ 
And melted the glue that held Diphthongs togrther : 
Give the varlets fuU licence, they '11 never agree. 
But cut each other's throats 'bout an I or an E ! 
They screw'd each Parenthesis loving and flat. 
And foreclos'd the mortgage 'twixt this side and that : 
^ When they 'd cut off Wit's harvest, each dolt begas 
gleaning, 
And hunted down Verbs till they *d lost-^// their meaning. 
Then leaden- scuU'd Chalmers perk'd up 'mid his straw. 
And swore Locke had no logic, and Black stone no 

law ; 
He'd been e'en more profane, but Contempt plugg'd hii 

throat 
With a hot, rtt\img feces y enwrapp'd in a note ! — 
How they '11 rave — how they '11 roar — how they *11 writhe 

and blaspheme — 
When I 've hung them on hooks, and they 11 be what 

they'll seem I 
They crawl and implore, and they sooth, and they 

whine, 
To acquire my plaudit, and live in my line : 

P 2 'YWsv^^ 



188 A Plir-BASKET TO THE 



Though no value could e'er be attack'd to my page. 
Were but Verity scratch'd by my love or my rage : 
If any aieert I would witMigy they deceive — 
Like the hoar on the grain, I but chitt to relieve. 
My Gody what can keep all those oa£i from St. Luke's? 
Pr'ythee where do they hide when the God of Song 

pukes ? 
What a satire on Nature— on Wit — on the Timet ! 
Poor Marsyas wasvflay'd for one half of their crimes i 
Let the Beadle go flog 'cm — ^kt Force make *em just- 
Let the finger of Scorn mark them down to the dust*- 
Let them prop old book-stalls— g^t in rubbish, and rcv^«- 
Let them vend woollen rags — let them go to the DeriL 

Miss riDSWELL.—D. L. 
Aha, my friend Tidswell ! what 's she got to seR? 
Let us greet her — she curtsies ! that 's modest and wdL 
When I saw this Stock Dowager first near your scenes,/ 
She was then nymph of honor to gingerbread queens ! 
Shall I change nymph to maid ? she ^ long out of her 

teens; 
She was then dress' d in camlet— she's now clad in sat< 

tins-*— 
She was then on tlie^v/^she now trips in pattens. 
Who has wound up her talents ?— Some critical loon \ 
But she's certainly better in time and in tune : 
Though 8he smilcsj I see Care 's on her visage been ht^ 

Like the edge of a hat she seems worn with good breed- 
ing. - - 

When 



CHILDREN OP THESFIS. IQQ 

When she plays, bid her line all Ijicr face — she 's too 
bold; 
Xiike the rest she 's determin'd she'll never be oldT 
The Cherokee squah i& tatoo'd or decried ; 
She exhibits the slashes.as tokens of pride :" 
£ut our clumsy Zingari will tremble and faint. 
If we talk of the crows-feet^ and bring *em the paint ; 
Yet these gypsies will-powder their perukes all round, 
Though the white makes each brown frontispiece seeiii; 

more brown'd ! 
Our hussies will chalk not their jowls for the stage. 
As if marking the mazzard would increase their age ; 
Nay, we *ve many who *d burst in a torrent of tears. 
Should yoii guess at their birth> e'en within-— fifteen 

years: 
Yet how futile is this'— when 'tis known they *ve no ppw'r 
To make ruthless Time put the clock back an hour ! 
I'm not pleas'd she should act as a Lady of Ton — 
But they know not what 's fit— they 're all lost when 

alone : 
Give some able Preceptor, per dtemy a dollar. 
And the Pedagogue teaching learns more than the 

- Scholar : . • * 

Let her keep her own parish and do heir own duty — 
There 's a mart for the Dowdy, another for Beauty : 
Nay Jordan will bring on disgust, if Ae aims 
To quit Nature's own path for your delicate dames : 
Who'd not stare to see oxen draw loads in silk traces ? 
They who 're born to sell fish should not eat wiOx \3ck^ 
Graces. 

Pa ^^-^ 



igO A PIV-BA8RET TO T9B 



Her Nellf and her Tomboy — her Hoyden^ and Prue^ 
Make my happinen stronger the oft'ner I view : 
But her Juliet! oh^ zounds, what a Mantuan pattern V 
Would a nian damn his kindred to grapple a slattern ? 
Her coif seemM so greas'd, and her vestment to worn, 
In the rage of \\itfete she look'd— finely forlorn : 
Like a fuU-feather'd Sbcba^ which Flocrtoit each yeai 
Brought Punch to bemouzle, and towzle, and tear 1 
She 's gigantic where Coarseness and she can be friends ; » 
But make her genteel, and her usefulness ends. 

Mr. DENMJN.'^jy. L. 

From Sligo's rough bosom, that never knew dearthf 
Where Poverty (wondrously) mingles with Mirth > 
Where ihcsleveen^ young Shamus, plays tricks with his 

JUOGY, 

And the tvet clargy swill till their noses are muggy % 
Where the cabin-door opes to all beings who *re weary, 
As their faith prompts their souls to make wretchedaesi 

cheery ; 
And the little Padyeem crawl unclad*^ through all wea* 

ther, 
And Ihe poultry, and pigs, and they, 're jocund- toge- 
ther; 
Where a pipe stuck in thatch tells the Traveller's eye. 
There 's a dram and a blessing for those who can buyt 
, And for those who cannot, wh<f are fiunt and o'ertrod— - 
Then the host makes his gue^t draw a bill upon Oodi 
Where the Piper at padrom wakes lunatic glee, 
With fat Stoney-batUr^ or swttx Lango-/ec^ 



I 



CRILDftEN OP THBSPIS> 1^1 

Till the craiers with hoofing the sod become frisky, ' 
And wash down the Sun in potatioua of whiskey ; 
Where the Cyprian bastard oft kicks up a racket ; 
Where the nice apple prater is boii'd in his jacket ; 
Where a relative's body is wak^d amid smoke. 
Sighs, teats, noise, and merriment, mis'ry, and joke v. 
Where the ills of a morrOw ne'er raise needless fears ; 
Wbere the passiou of Meanness has lost both his ears ; 
Where belles ride on cars — ^that 's a minikin cart I 
Where, whene'er the tongue trips,, 'tis unknown to the 

, heart J 
From that generous Islie, where they nurture true pridc> 
Though belash'd by Oppression on every side. 
Manly Dbnman came o'er, to fill up Moody's place, 
And assume the Stage Shamrock^ but not with mucb 

grace- ' 
Thus Critics have urg'd, when this claimant 'a addrest. 
He is kind to the brcgue^ but he murders the jest. 
Arrah, why does not Rock take the place of this ninny f 
Who M prefet to possess a thirteen for a guinea ? 
In a famine we all must munch that which- we may. 
But in plenteous domains we throw ofials away. 

Mrs. SERRES.—C. G. 
What restricted, "spruce, neat F^gurina Is this ? 
Is't the Queen of the Fays, or an inmate of Bliss ? 
Poor thing, how she trembles— she shrinks from the 

light— 
Yct,'though little, she 's grace— and^ tVioM^\»^N3^^^^ ^ 
hnght I 



J 92 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

But some Nymphs arc to scar'd, they 'd be nought when 

they're bidden. 
Or, like ladies in lobsters, testaceously hidden. 
Now I put on my spectacles 'gain> I can see . 
It is Sbrrbs — go, bring the shy warbler to me. 
Won't she come ? — That is silly ; well, let her remain — 
She's so meek, I should sigh if my wish gave her 

pain* 
Though, for Science, she legally challenges Praise, 
She but faintly excels, and but squeaks out her lays : 
Her organization 's so tenderly wrought. 
When she does what she can, sh^ does more li>an she 

ought; 
We dread lest some thread of her texture should part, 
. And unravel those nerves which lead Sense to her heart* 
She's inert in her vocals, though Fate's not confin'd 

'em. 
And lets every instrument leave her --behind 'em ; 
She syncopates • graces till Harmony 's pang'd. 
Then they rush, like reprieves, when the culprits arc 

haug'd : 
. She gives all we wanted with exquisite skill. 
But in coming so late does the consequence ill ; 

* Syncopation is produced by the retardation of one part, thg 
other proceeding in its regular progression ; consequently the part 
retarded produces a succession of discords, which are made and 
resolved. 

If a singer lags behind the orchestra, it may be said ludicrously 
that she syncopatcs-^but with this difference, that in regular syn- 
copation the discord is prepared, made, and resolved, which pro* 
duces a fine effect if well managed ; but when done in the ludicrous 
style above mentioned, the cffcCt mu^t bc abominable, as you can 
hear nothing but iliKordi. 

Sht^ 



CHIXDRE^f OP THESPI8. J 93 

She looks pale and fatigu'd, like weak laborers paving, 
And seems, when in altj like poor Miriam raving : 
Like a heavy-breech'd Fleming^*, she moves — ^but 'tir 

' slowly, , • ^ 

And seems, in her nactural aims^ as too lowly. 

Whca 

■* Tiitf DVTCH an(/FLlMI9R D-RAMA^ 

The Dutch and Flemish Theatres ought to be considered very 
nearly as the same, since they use one common idiom— >thc Flemish 
language iieing no other than the Dutch tongue, comipted by the 
influence of the Walloons and Picatds : but the Dutch idiom is ad* 
inittcd to be the nobler and more energetic, as it approaches the 
nearest to the mother tongue, which is the German. ' The Theatre 
of Flanders had its origia in the representation of Mysteries. While 
there was an Imperial Go\'ernmcni at Brussels, they had a C6mpany 
adequately maintained. The French had a superb Theatre at Lisle, 
'which I think was ranked in the national scale of splendor, after 
those of Paris and Bourdeaux. Mr. Astley, with his Comedian^ 
and his Horses, or rather with his Horses and Comedians, used to 
perform his equestrian feats in Flanders, on his return to England 
from the French metropolis, where he.had an Amphitheatre, under 
the protection of the Court. The Dutch Theatre originated fcom 
what they call Redcn Ryckers Kameren, or Societies of Rhetoricians 
«nd Poets. These societies were also common in Brabant ; they 
bad fourteen at Antwerp ; that of the Gilltfiawir, and that of the 
Olive Branckf were the most distinguished : there were nineteen in> 
Ghent, and every city in Holland had a Troop. The most ancient 
piece cf the Dutch Theatre is Bon Sbiegel der Jiinne (the Mirror of 
Love), by ColtnVan Ryssde, printed at Haerlem in 1561. In one 
of their Pieces a Princess writes at a table, upon which is her Lo- 
ver's head, which, it is presumed, has been recently cut off: the 
disconsolate lady addresses her written argument to the head, which 
answers her with appropriate sentiment and point : this, it must 
be admitted, is a sort of merit which few British beaus could equal, 
in the full possession of all their members I— From 1561, which is 
the epochs of their {host ancient Comedy, until this period, the 
nation counts many Poets ; but he who introduced a regard for the 
unities on their Theatre, was Pstsr Cornblius Hooft, diftin* . 
guishcd as the Dutch, Tatitus, as he was author of the History of 
the Republic. Vow del, sirnamed the Dutch Virgil and Seneca, 
begaa to write for the Theatre in 1 638. The Fa/amede of Vo n o £ l 
is arranged by his countrymen, as- a master-piece. The humoat o€ 



ig4 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 

When Cupid was knit, he was wing'd by high Jove, 

To sublime bestial conflicts to generous love ; 

As the gentleman. usher of infinite blisses, 

To make the Soul warrant the Animal's kisses— 

To diffuse a sweet grace over natural aims, 

While Beauty and Manhood admitted his claims. 

But if Cupid was sluggish, and slept on his post. 

None would know if he meant or to plague or bfcis 

most: 
It is but in the use of our time that we are 

Rais'd as animals over the hog and the bear : 

Who is vulgar in impulse, and vulgar in act. 

Is a beast, and no more«-do not shrink, 't is the fact. 

In the schools of Design, Toil will Habit beguile— 

Many copy, and copying, get a new styk : 

the HoUancirrs in their spectacles was not always of the common . ^ 
tort : — in one of their p4n'9mimcs the Clown is made to heat apye 
with his bottom — and iw another, where the Pantaloon is a MiUer, Y\ 
the Clown, in order to give motion and efficacy to the satis o( tte t 
mill, when there was no wind, kneels upon the Stage* andunbut- I 
tons his trowsers, and, in that state,- he direcu his Batavian potte* I 1 
riors towards the mill, and by a loud flatulent explosion effects the I 
required purpose — the mill is worked, the com it ground, and ill J 
the parties are eminently happy! — But this species of Dutch taiU\iM 
become proverbial throughout Europe, and it is as conspicuwis in 
their Paintings as their-Drama ; but we must not suppose this barba- 
rism general, for that country which gave birth to an Erasmus ii 
not wholly dedicated to grossness or absurdity. The Dutch Thea- 
tre has been more perfectly modified since that period. The Play- 
houses of Amsterdam, the Hague, Leyden, Sec. are a demi-oval, of 
which the side of the Stage makes the anuU diameter. I should 
have observed, that the German and Dutch are the only nationi 
who have imitated the French in using rhime in Tragedy and Co- 
medy, although the English Dramatic Poets of the last age have par- 
tially adopted the absurdity, by closing the Aasof the Drama with 
a tedious and unnatural tag of verse and nonsense .'—Previous to the 
expatriation of the unfortunate, but unoffending Okavce family* 
there was a well-appointed Company at thcHagae. 

Can't 



^ 



I 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. igj 

Can't she study blithe Martyr, and study her action ? 
Out of all she displays can't she get one attraction ? 
Mark her eyes» her deportment, her nawetey her grace, 
And all that keen archness which plays round her face ; 
Who but she can display what Euphrosyfie should ? - 
Who but she can fulfil what Jove 's termagant would ? 
There 's a something beyond what the axiom can teach. 
And that something she has — it made Paulus go preach* 

Mr. ELLIsrON.^Q. G. 
When an oak-hearted tar, who jiad plough'd round 

the world. 
Finds his bark in the haven — the canvass all fuiPd— 
When the boatswain's hoarse thund'rings are mute, wh» 

would call 
AH hands to the matn-top to reef in a squall ; 
He springs in the jolly-boat — rows from the ship- 
Leaps and lands on the beach-r-roars for fiddles and flip i 
Then his chain'd, famish'd Passions destroy the calm 

thought. 
And his eyes glisten round till their object is caught ; 
Then his Hope, not his Judgment, blows up the Soul's 

fire. 
And the Trull of the Point takes the sting from Desire. 
It is thus with nine-tenths who resort to our plays—- 
They're possess'd to be pleas'd, ^nd to dolts give their 

praise : 
To their bald ideas a Gorgon 's not frightful. 
And, or Roscivsor Jones, 'tis with them mostdclight- 

.ful: 



190 A l^tN-BASKBT TO THE 



Yet how blksful is even this weakness to many. 
Who, *neath Error's prostration, can gather the penny I 
So! Ell is TON comes, with his main-sheet aU spread 
Independent of Nature, and Dogma, and Dread; 
He walks up, undismayM, to the National Eye, 
Nods, simpers, and tells a gross World — Herb am I! 
He 's acquired a fame that has made him less able. 
As some fits give us strength but to make us more 

feeble ; 
Yet his rashness shall make him arranged with the braye. 
And the less fiiat he merits, the more he shall hare. 
So in Rome foetid urine was tax'd by its weight. 
And the value of feculence strengthen'd the state! • 
From Smithfield, from Peckham, and all Britain's 

fairs, 
From the Swan, Pepper-adley, and both bridges* stairS) 
From Pi D cock's menagerie, bawling his story. 
Be the Heralds brought hither, and given to Glory ; 
Be the bears un-depicted**the Outang unsung — 
Let the salt-box be dumb, and the trumpet be slung : 
Come hither ye vast-car'd stentorian race, 
With tendons of iron, anine-times bronz'd fiace — 
We've a theme more triumphant, to quicken' your 

tongues — 
Leave your brains to make puddings, but bring us fo\a 

lungs. 
They go pell-mell to acting, as Christians have fought, 
Without genius, principle, mercy, or thought ; 
Tear their throaU with heroics, and he that roars loudest 
Is most envied, mosthonor*^ and richest, and proudest! 

Th< 



CHILDREN OP THESPIS. 197 

: approach of Good Sense throws each loon in a 

fright — 
some beasts feel more blest in the dark than the 

light l^ 
-.ike a Peer of Castile *, he runs till at Pride^s goal, 
1 his Brow is too arch'd for the aims of the Soul ! 

They 

* The Spanish Daama. 

'he Theatre of Spain, according to' their most Valued histo. 
IS, is indebted for its establishment to the introductioir of some 
ill Farces, in one Act, called Entrentessesj or yornadoty which 
be title such toities now bear in that country. The action of 
sc Pieces involved a subject that was both common and 
culous, and was not very dissimilar to the Performances of the 
un Mimi; they were performed in thoroughfares, and the 
St public places of a town, on the occasion of some sacreti or 
fane feast. The French did not, for a considerable portion of 
e, imitate the Spanish Actors in this species of amusement. — 
ese diversions were succeeded by Comedy, and which was ar- 
ged nearly in the same manner as it was in Greece — but I have 
: been able to ascertain the time when this important alteration 
It occurred. Though the Spanish Theatres are now better re- 
lated, they still retain the old name of Corrales, or CourtTards ; 
t their ardent supporters honor them with a higher designation, 
1 call them Palios, or great Courts. The Theatres of their 
inces are called C^iiseos* it should be noted, to the credit of 
ain, that it was the first nation who, on the restoration of 
tarning, ventured to purify the Comic Muse — and this purifica« 
<n happened in the end of the fifteenth century. The Italians 
te the commencement of their purer Comcdv from the bcgin- 
ig of the seventeenth century— and the Frencn have chronicled 
eir revolution i;a Dramatic taste from the conclusion of the 
ventcenth century. The Theatres in Spain arc built in a form 
culiar to that nation ; they are nearly square, and have three 
)rie8 for the accommodation of the Audience ; there are Boxes 
Jy in the first tier, and these are divided by rails ; the front box, 
id which is immediately above the door which leads to the- Pit j 
styled the City Box, being occupied exclusively by the Regidoresy 
' Lieutenants of the Police : below this Box, in the rest of the 
ont, is erected a sort of Amphitheatre, which juts out into* the 
it, smd is furnished with seats — they call it Ceztteloy and ti!atiR.\s>iS. 
omen sit in it : below this, and on the twQ iV^^^ ol tStva ^^« Y\^ 



199 A FIK-BASKIT TO THE 

They have call'd him an oak, who 's in hct a mere lath ; 
They have rode him too hard betwixt London and Bath : 
Some will gallop a runt till he trips down a hill» 
Who *d crawl'd safe had the ^aron been left to iti will : 

Many 

which they enter into the Pit, are two dark Boxes, called AUxerUf 
in one of which an AUaiede Carto (who is a royal judge) sits, hay- 
ing all his retinue before him in a small apartment, which is id 
the Pit ; but this magistrate frequently sits in a chair on the Stare, 
e^ciaUy at the simple Comedy, or de Capoy SpaJm^, Above toe 
lowest ]b:oxes, on the two aides of the Hall, is a second row of little 
Boxes, or Chambers, called Bmic/^ in which those penootsitirlio 
wish to be concealed from the public view : on the same line is » 
space called the Tn-tuUay where the Monks and other»8it who are 
compelled to a public observance of decency in manners : on the 
two sides of the Pit are places for the men, who sit in the, sane 
manner as the male spectators did in the ancient Amphitheatres; 
tlicse places are called Gradas^ and they ascend to them by small 
wooden steps ; they are enclosed with a balustrade, and joined to 
two rows of seats which are upon the Stage ; at the end of these 
steps is another place, raised a little above the Pit ; thia is called 
Lit TaboureUt, or Media Lunetta^ and resembles the Orehesinm of 
the Italian Theatres; in the Patlo^ or Pit, are seats joined to tke 
Juwest steps ol' the two Amphitheatres I have described. The 
Amphitheatres formerly had no roof, and the ^etators wereoften 
exposed to the rain -and other elemental inconveniences ; but at 
present they are all roofed^ and they have built a mperb Theatre 
at Madrid, approximating to the Italian elegance. 1 he ecemc 
decorations were very coarse, consisting of a dirty curtain, which 
concealed the doors at which the Actors came in -and went out-' 
but the appointments at present are rather magnificent than other- 
wife. 

The Spanish Dramatists have been very numerous ; but those of 
the highest celebrity are Lopex de Vega^ Caideron, Mttreto, 8Ua, 
Salaxar, and Molina; of these Lopez de Vtga wrote fifteen hun- 
dred pieces, and Cglderon many volumes. 1 heir Comedies have 
l^cneraUy a bawd, who is a grand agent in their plots, and these 
intriguine gentlewomen are called Capa y Espada, It cannot be 
denied that tieir Dramatic Authors have great invention, and 
4ndeed they have furniehcd matter, and been the great source of 
this species of p6etry, for all the stages of Europe. Ihcy have a 
particular kind of entertainment which they call Autos Sticramen' 
tales^ or Sacred IDraoias : their form ia always allegorical; the 

Memory,' 



CHILDAEN OF TMEWiS. ' ^69 

. Many guns carry shot with the happiest efFcct, 
That will burst, if o'ercramm'd with or zeal or neglect ; 
His Octa'vian had portions that partially pleas 'd ; 
His •F/jtlaster bespoke him bet ray M and diseased: 

Hfs 

Memory, the Will, the Understanding, Life, Judaism, the Churchy 
Idolatry, Aj>o6tacy, &c. are introduced as personages I shall 
describe a singular and favorite performance in this way, which 
was written by Calderon, and intitled Autos Sacramental des iaa 
JPUuitts, The Bramble, the Mulberry Tree, the Cedar, the Al- 
mond Tree, the Oak, the OHve, the Spikenard, the Vine, an4 
the Laurel, are the Actors. Two Angels appear upon the Theatre, 
and inform the Plants that one among them ought to produce 
admirable Fruit : they then invite them to a divine combat for 
a Crown, which one of the Aagek first displays «n his hand, 
and then hangs it up at a corner of the Theatre ; after this he en- 
dows the Plants with the faculty of speech, and retires. The 
Trees immediaieiy begin to gabble, and dd>ate, and philosophize, 
and affect a surprise at their ti ansformat^ion. The Cedar appears 
'.upon the stage with a baton in bis hand jn the form of a cross ; 
.and the rest are amaced, having never veen that tree before : 
the Cedar makes a long discourse upon the creation of the worlds 
^e extraordinary and contradictory elements, the formation of 
Kan, and the production of animak and vegeubles : he tells \\h 
brother Actors th;tt all the tenants of the Sea, the Air, ^nd the 
£arth«Jiad their r^spectire Kings, their Peers, and their Plebeians ; 
ao the Trees ought to have local gradation, and a Monarch 
•bo : he generovely and nobly disclaims that honor ; but pro- . 
{^ses himself as the judge of the merits of the rest^; and then,, 
IM&ewbat loftily, stalks off the Stage. -The other Plants arc 
gtettly enraged that a stranger should arrogate the privilege of 
|Mlgit^ in matters belonging to them, and interfere in the ar- 
tMigcmeat of their internal concerns ; but each, notwithstanding, 
tBOBlingty enumerates his several properties and qualities, and 
tacfa sturdily claims the Crown. In the next scene the Cedar 
proposes that every Plant shonld deliver a petition, in which his >% 
tight and title should be proved ; which measure is -acceded to: 
then the Cedar appears holding a cross, twisted rouhd with Ce- 
dar, Cypress, and Palms. The Plants are divided into two fac- 
tions, like the Ouclphs and Gibelines, or Whigs and Tories, or 
Yorkists or Lancastrians, or the election mobs of Garrat; one o£ 
which justifies the interference of the Cedar, and. the other con- 
demns it. At length the Bramble, assuming a true inde^jendfi^vt- 
spirit, aeks the Cedar, indignantly, who Vi^ UX T\ia V^^^-ax x^ 



200 IL. PXN-BA8KET TO THE 

i ■ ' 

His stiain's too impassion'dy too enthusiastic, 

He imagines what's false, and that falsehood 's too plastic; 

Yet I would not too eagerly damp his desire. 

Or empt Rigor's cold reservoir over his fire : 

There 's a mean in Good Sense which gives force and rf 

fieiio — ^ . 

Not like Kemble's Varanesy mere ncitativof 
What can action effect but t' invigorate Mirth, 
When the Player seems striding to compass the Earth ? 
Can such scenic velocity mark high despair. 
While the end of his robe is buoy'd up in the air ? | 

Can spitting out vowels and diction, like shot. 
Tremendous, precipitate, numerous, red hot,: — 
Can the colossal strut, or parading the Stage, 
Like a mad Pluci *em ;«, or a Skipper in rage,— 
Can low'ring aroand you, like Winter's foul skiee— 
Can the habitual frown to look sulky and wise — 
Constitute a great Actor ?— Poh, psha, pr'ythecj pish 'f 
Take this teU de veau off— put some beef in the dish. 

fuses to reply, and the Cramble seizes, shakes, and pummels him: 
the Cedar screams, and streams of blood instamtly issue from ^ 
Cross i when aUthe Plants groan in unison at the dismal spectacle* 
like bawds in a conventicle when the knave in the pulpit prates 
of hell fire. The Bramble, seeing his breeches smeared with the 
blood, is also filled with despair, and observing the other Plants 
to run from him like scoundrels from a great man in troublC) he 
breaks forth in hideous lamentations. Then the Cross appears is 
the air as a point of ineffable consolation, and some of the Plants 
demand judgment from the Cedar, vvho gives it to the Spikenard 
in consequence of his superior humility. Then the piece termi- 
nates, in common with all such representations, with some action 
relating to the management or mystery of the Eucharist. Tor a 
due solution of which, I must refer the reader to the Arch-Priest 
«t Lambeth. 

Amid 



CHTLUfifeN OP TH8SP18. * SOX 

*••■ ' ''"'■ ■'-■ ' " -■■"- :^^r■^■^■ "■"-, ^ : ■ • -^r 

Amid the most perfect, how v^n i&. their plan ! - 
In the fever of youth what a tixng is a man ! 
Could a Player be form'd by such vulgarisM cunning,. 
They would sill in a fictitious vortex be running. 
As well might such dunces as P*»»*n and Dick, 
Whose sculls are at lea^t seventeen inches thick. 
Attempt to be sapient, arch, witty, and big, 
By a jaw full of pomp and a three yard wide wig ; 
Though such paraphehialia with Ignorance passes,^ 
Take the wigs from the blockhead, and there remain«-«- 

ASSfiS ! 

Tow him into the stream — ^he's- acme worth, and a 
stranger^ 

And to plunge near the coast puts the vessel in daqger ; 

It is not my aim any jfl to impart, 

Or consign him to breathe ^with a barb in his he^krt. 

There are none know their powers till Accident goads 

Our Sienses to roam in Necessity's roads ; 

Then we realize that we scarce hop'd for in thought, ' 

A»d become purer beings by Rigor rewrooght ; 
For he spins for himself ere his life's aft the ebb, , 
Who ne'er dreamt his iiitestines could furnish a wtrW 
Comedians like Kitto, QtJiCK^ or Muhdbn, can foel 
Tlwy 're made hard by Truth's fire, and cast smooth as- 
steel ; 
They will all have effect while a bit shall remaiii, 
And^heit edge is not tum'd by Wit*s ktt(m<jt^k% 

gratti. 
But our modem bald whtprters seize e«ipital 'pwl^^ 
Who 've nor jntdlcct, tactics, ideas^ ot V^^cV^ % 



202 . A PIN- BASKET TO THE 

'6tcad of judgment and force that should bolster a Player^ 
They 've a jig, and a trip, and a roar, and a stare ; 
All their sharpness is lost if they touch Nature's hone> 
And when tried on the critical strop they're undone: 
But the Drama's Purveyors, like Jews, bring us more. 
If they sell they are pleas'd, though when us'd 'tis all o'er. 

Some would weave their own feat with another's,^ to 
bilk. 
As some hose are inwoven, half thread and half silk ; 
And thus hope to improve by an iUicit deed, 
As curs mend their classes by crossing the breed ! 
There are who think Nature regards all their doings, 
Their ' madness, their gladness, their starts, struts, and 

wooings ; 
Hence an ill- begot blockhead presumes to believe 
A whole world marks his state, which b^t laughs ia it» 

sleeve ; 
And with his own hand he indites his own case. 
As the cat takes Jiis paw to scrub filth from his face ; 
But the pen and the paw in both points are self- wetted, 
And the dolt and the beast are stlf-blcst and self-fretted. 
Some arc partially blasted by partial disease,. 
As the blight makes an alley of ruin 'mong trees* 

Thus Presumption will gabble when reading the truth; 
Thus, thus they '11 inoculate predisposM youth : . 
Shall Elliston's parts, or his honor, Be doubted?. 
Shall th' award of les bourgeois of Brisiol be scouted ? ' 
What can Critics be at thus to frustrate his skill ? 
Who'd not start to see Pegasus tug round a mill ? 



CUILDREI7 OF THESPIS, 203^ 

Should Phoebus but* sing bawdy ballads in allies ? 
Should Bellona be sombrous when Fortitude rallies ? 
Should Iris become a coarse wench at a dyer's ? 
Should Renown be enforc'd but to chronicle liars ^ 
Should aDsNMAN be us'd but to extricate foals ? 
Should the barge of the Memphian Belle carry coals ? 
All the Magi forbid it— let Worth fill her throne,- 
Give, give him the wreath — let the lad have his owm 

But our Authors, as well as our Actors, appear 
With an equal contempt for the Sage and the Seer ! 
At the end of our Plays they should send us a chorus 
To explain all the unexplained things done before us:. 
As a sort of errata^ or postscript, or point, 
To decipher those blunders which were without joint; 
Like the unattach'd objects which rush in our dreams,^ 
And oft make the heart beat with a something that seems^ 
Which we gaze at and lose in the moment they're sought. 
Yet they'll make pain or joy independent of thoughtI 

A poor varlet, one Horace^ whom Mem'ry reveres, 
Bid each Scribbler retain his essay for nine years ; 
But our Playwrights more subtle, whom Plutus invites, 
Scofif him and his rules, and but think of — nine nights : 
And surely those Wits are most worthy of praise. 
Who accomplish their ends by the readiest ways. 

There are sev'ral of worth, whose deserts are unsung. 
Yet though breathing unprais'd, are their withers un- 

wrung: 
There's the sensible Waddy, Macrbady, and others 
Who 've fought like the fforaUh that 's well, and a& lat^^^** 
thers— 



204 A PIN-BA8KET TO THE 

S\van-Iike Addison^ dear to Icrne's first city, 
And potent Clekdiming, so dear in her ditty — 
Pretty Br AM WILL so flippant, lo neat in her Nelly^ 
And HoLLiNGSwqRTH, ever in chase of— his belly — 
Duteous Holland^ and Farlbyi and Foll^t, and 

Ha^ymbs, 
Who have usefulneis, modesty,* patience, and claims*. 
But where is my Merry, that wench I so priz'd ? 
In America *, say you ? what, was she despis'd I 

Yba 

* The America^n Drama. 

Among the other instances of refinement which peace and po- 

eilation have introduced in America, we may arrange the 
rama, which has been introduced among them without those 
irrational and disgusting absurdities which, under the idea of 
illustrate aad personifyjng the articles of a Protean faith, Inve 
choked its growth and progress in the various countries of Eu- 
rope.— —The Americans have adopted their Drama from a 
Britkh model, which is an example not altogether unworthy of 
their imitation, but particularly where the intereata of Comedy are 
involved : we have more at intrigue and busi\lKSs in our plots 
than the French, and l^ss than the Spaniards ; cwr dialogue is 
more poignant than the French and more pure than the Spanish ; 
and even in this comparison, I make due allowance lor the pre* 
valence of national habits, and confine m^solf to the operations f£ 
Passion, which are nearly similar in all civil society. 

I'he first I'heatrical Compluiy we have upMi record whd eil* ' 
acted in North America, is a little Troop who came £rom tlK 
West Indies, the management of Which devolved upon a Per- 
former of the name of Hal lam, who travelled and performed 
in all the principal towns : but^^s the leaven of fanaticism was 
very powerful in a greater portion of the community, this lliea- 
trical visitation was not atteaided with that success which it sac- 
hted. On the termination 'of the yr^ with Great Britain, and 
the declaration of the independence ' of the United States, the 
whok country assmned a greater and more poiiihed chasracter, 
and the sour prejudices of bigotry were succeeded by a generous 
spirit 0f pMlaaChropy, and a rational love of pleasure ; — they so 
longer thought it necessary to appear miserable to be acceptable to* 
the DIvmc Spiritf and emanated} ^yf d^^^ts^ mv.Q (^^«il>3\xi«t^ 



CHILDREN OP THE8PIS. 205 

You nurs'd her tijl she and Perfection were known— r 
Then you saw'd down those props that supported h'cr 

throne ! • ^ 

She extracted a spirit from Dramatists* dung — 
She had point in her anger, and salt on her tongue ! 

and charity. A partial result from this reyolution in principle and 
Bianaers, was their warm encouragement of the Stage. 1 he late 
Mrs. Wright EN was invited from England, and being the best 
Performer they had ever seen, was liberally rewarded. As the 
different towns in the different provinces increased in splendor 
and wealth, the necessity of having other Companies occurred, 
and there are now the following different establi^ments, vfz. 

Messrs. Widnel and Rsnaglx, who have built a lai;ge The- 
atre at Pbiladelpbiay which holds 4.80I. : the prices of admission are 
the same as in London. This Company travels in the summer 
months to Baltimore in MarylandwThe principal Members of this 
Company are Mrs. Merrt, Mr. Cooper, Mr. and Mrs. I^i- 
8TRANGE, Mr. BARRET,and Mrs. Rivers, as Comedians; and 
Mr. Btrns and Madame Rossi as Dancers. 

Messrs. Hodgkinson and HallaM have a Company at iVirti; 
. ^Yorkj which travels to Maryland. The principal Members of this 
Company are Mr. and Mr. Tyler,' Mr.^and Mrs. Marshall, 
Mr. Da R LET, &c. 

Messrs. Powel and Williamson have a Company at Boston, 
The principal Members of which are Miss Fon ten elle, Mr. 
Taylor, &c. 

It is no uncommon circumstance to have advertisements and 
bills posted about the avenues to the American Theatres request- 
ing that the Gentlemen may not smoke in the boxes, to the an- 
noyance of the Ladies ; and Kkewise that they would not bring 
any liquor in to drink during the performance. It is probable 
that the more polished Britons may smile at this statement ; but 
in the indulgence of such vain pleasanty let them recollect the 
nightly behaviour of our London puppies in the boxes and lobbiet 
of our Theatres ; and which is so frequently outrageous and hiUf 
tal, that the national character must suffer materially in the judg- 
ipent of those foreigners who witness the atrocities. The Ma- 
nagers, from a delicate fear of infringing upon the liberties of 
any part of the Audience, generally suffer tho»e riots to be settled 
by the more sober and wise part of the spectators ; but the truth 
is, that it neither belongs to Wisdom or Sobriety to contend with 
such rude miscreants, who ought to be delivered into the custody 
of a Peace Officer, whenevesL they violate the laws of decency la 
iangvagc or action. ^ -«3\v 



206 ▲ FIN-BASKET TO THE 

Who would cast off a topa^ and dec'rate with glass ? 
Who would dissipate bulliom and treasure bat brass ^ 
Did the base, and licentious, and envious offend her ? 
Did uo liberal Knight raise his shield to defend her ? 
Did those caitiffs who thunder'd such peals in her ear» 
Only bellow to cheat, and insinuate to «neer ? 
'Tis with nymphs as with Kings, who. laud most, most 

annoy 'em ; 
As those rakes axe moit civil who. mean to destroy 'em i 
Eternal illusions debauch the mind's guard. 
For our impulse is folly and hope our reword ! 
Ere she vanish'd she look'd as more vast in dimension f 
Thus the Sun seems more large at the Planct*s dedension I 
Bring her sitbstitute here — is It that wench, or this ? 
Those who 've no traps for glory retain some for bKss t 
But the TowK, like vik pigs, will snort pka8'4 o'er 4 

sink ; 
Th«t absurd ^atant kait^ must be buUie^ to think ! 
Not the labyzen odour can sweeten its sense ; 
*Ti8 an 0Tgani«'d monster that's pl^as'd with offence I 
An Audietue M London should grunt, aud not bawl» 
As nine-tenths ate more gross than JoE^shogs at VauxhalU 
That taste I deer|( is a taste which they give ; 
And who lives but to please must be pleasing to live 1' 
I^ady Dramatists make their mak Ibven afl culh'es. 
And Plagiary's Soldiers and Sailors are bullies: 
Ask Curtis his thought as to Credit, he *11 risk it. 
And rejoin that her vitals wce^'iound as a biscuit ! 
E'en meek men, by compliance, make meekness a jest,. 
As the kind may do good till good's out of request. 



CHXLDREK.OP THBSPIS. J 207 

• ■ . r ■ ' 11 T — -I 

THE^ORDE. 

Fo&BFEND usy good Hcaven! come Dru^ to your 
pray'rs 'y 
What a balderdash Congress are pressings up statrs \ 
Ha^e the Tartars forsaken their Cham and their friend ? 
No Peace is in Israel-rthe world 's at an end. 
What a Gettc cab?! ! how they bleat I how they 're drdst ! 
Lock up all your plate-^put the lace in the chest ! 
Send Powell to Bow-street — ^get Town send and Jea- 
lous— 
Read the Huc-and-Cry act — ^what marauders ! what fellows ! 
Have vrc joskins from fssex, with cargoes of calves ? 
Have we M. D.'s in myriads who/re vending their salves ? 
Great God ! what is this your own recreant crew ? 
Do I live to be thus ? my Soul's beat black and blue! 
I 'm convuls'd with disdain! all my system 's in trouble ! / 
My mind kicks and flings, like a jade carrying double ! 
They have worn out dieir, welcome — shew each to the 

gate- 
Send the varlets to Coventry — cripple their state : 
They will feel for the down ere they '11 lie oa a bed, * 
As widows will ascertain ere they 11 re-wed : \ 

Were they rapt*in Elysium, and^plac'd near the Spheres, 
They 'd demand the Blaci Johe^ so corrupt are their ears : 
If they 're crav'd in the South> you. must goad the herd 

nor' ward- 
As the wise pull swine back that they wish to go forward I 
Though they spit out their brains in a spurt, like rash 

rockets. 
They affect, as a right; to have cus\\ vuX^oxNx ^q^^^. "• 



208 A PIN-BASKET TO THB 



Each believes he's a Garrick •, though futile as any— 
They'd sooner take umbrage than give Want a penny: 
Make Sense bring her summons, and fill them with dread- 
Sound the curfew, and make all the louts go to bed — 
Put them out of the pale of the Parnassian laws — 
Let them fat in the winter, like bears, on their paws : 
Shall they have their purl, and their steaks, and their 

griskins. 
Who consume day and night in intolerant friskings ? 

• During the senith of yuniuj*t very over-charged fame, and 
when all the world were in tuil cry lo identify the man, Mr. Gar- 
m I cic conceived an idr.i that he had discovered the person, and in 
consequence wrote to Mr Ramus, the King's page« to call on him 
at his house at the /Vdelphi. When Mr- Ramus came, they had a 
private interview, and Mr. Garrick :old him, with profound 
caution, the essential information he should convey to the King re- 
lative to the unknown defender of our Iberties. On the ensuing 
day Mr. Garrick. received the following note: 

"SIR, 

" I admit your perspicuity in managing the affairs of the Drama 
—but your attempts to discover me are vain' and nugatory. I shall 
take leave of you now by assuring you, that when I have done with 
real monarchs, I shall begin with mock potentates, of which yet 
ihill form the head. Till then, adieu. Junius."* 

Mr. GAr R 1 CK was accustomed to relate this anecdote with marks 
of astonishment and apprehension. 

About three years previous to Mr. Gar rxck*s appearing at the 
Theatre in Goodman*s-helds, he performed Chamontf in the Tra- 
gedy of the Orphan, at a small Theatre called the Duke's Theatre, 
in Villiers-street, York-buildings, which was situated within a fcv 
doors of the bottom of the street, on the right hand side. The Play 
was got up by the Scholars of Eton College, and was prompted by 
CoLLtY Hill, nephew to Aaron Hill the Author, and who 
appeared at Drury-lane Theatre in Osmyn, in Zara, on the same 
night that Mrs. Gibber made her first appearance. The ladies who 
were present at Mr. Gar rick's professional iieht, were so fasci- 
nated by his splendid powers, that they offered him their purses 
and tripkets from the Boxes. The other Characters were susuined 
by Messrs. Halitead,~ Wool ley, Miss Walliams, Miss 
Ferguson, &c. 

Take 



CmiLDREN OF TflESFIS. 209 

e them down a peg lower— rise up and resist 'em ; 

:e the caitiiFs drink whey^y* and enfeeble their system : 

uld the caitlf& be Baals, and fatten with vows ? 

uld they gulp protestations, or bum Druids' boughs ? 

Ad they chatter to Jove like a garrulous daw ? 

aid they live, like a Peer, above Virtue and Law? \- 

Rigor incarcerate every loon ; 
ig 'em up by the breech on the horns of the moon : 
salt them, like herrings, and ram them in tibs ; , 

the women be pickled, and poison ^heir cubs ; 
row their symbols and nicknacks in Tottenham pond ; 
d them o'er to the peace before Hberai Bond : 
d the Thracian hag to embitter their hours ; 
d the knaves to Spitzbergen, and freeze out their 

powers. 
.11 they growl that Malice does thus and docs so, 
len the great and the lovely * are gall'd by a foe? 

Has 

A Supplicatory Epistle to the Countess ^ Jersst. 

,Taov whom the Teian Sage would hail. 

Turn, turn, and mark my^itty ; 
You *v<e craz*d our maids—our mabxins^sob, 

Ah, pr*ythcc have some pity. 

Thou hold'st the God of Love in chains. 

Thou haunt'st them in their dreams ; 
Like the bright Day's superior light , 

Absorbing lesser gleams. 

You 're all a charm, and hung with spelts, 

One Belle enrag*d supposes ; 
Another vows you *vc coax'd old Time, 

Who will not blight your roses. 



210 A mr-tJisKBT T6 niB 

HasBotgen'roos AuGVSTUS been smote in his fame 
By those Parc^^ whose influence marshaU'd the aim ? 
Some propel an expcnce to complain cmn is bvish'dy 
As some jades coax to sin, then bawl out they are 
ravish'd. 

What 

Though each, imputing her offence. 

Hat faird (extremes are such) ; 
Some have lost all by littU aims, 

And tome have aim'd /m much, 

£ach, in the. hunger of her hope, 

Imagin'd blines saw ; 
And, curst in speculative thoogkt. 

Would make her hate a law ! 



Lo, how the nymphs in clusters rave ! ^ 

Sly Da FHNB *s broke her fan ; -^ 

Sweet CuNEGUNDA 's spilt her tea, '( 

And Laura moans her man. 

S 
The Marchioness oft sighs to un, 

hut Decency won*t let her; 
The Dutchess bites her thumb, and grieres Ji 

'I'hc Duke can do no better. ' 

Moll Flanders haunts the clubs no mGre^ v^ 

To beg from knaves who win ; 

£*cn Lady Billingsgate 'sunblest, { J^ 

Though sme^*d with snuff and gin ! I ^ 

1 hey burn to think that, joy should be, I t 

And they not have their share ; 1 

They scarce thank Keav'n for what they have, \ I 
And grumble in their prayer. 

Those who can paint with envious skill. 

Depict old Hymen weeping; 
Some hunt with rods the Cyprian boy. 

To whip him for his sleeping. 

Imperial Beauty, send thy zone 

5'o each who would be killing ; 
Let not so many drabs- decay, 

Who *rc ripe, and warm, and willing. 



Ah, 



\ 



' CUILPREH 09 THBSPI9. 211 

What shrieking is this in the fane of the Muse ? 
'Tis superb Ariadne enfprcing her dues : 
jGive the woman her dues, all the Dutchesses roar; 
f Give the woman her dues, bawl the drabs at the door ; 
Give the woman her dues, the warm beldams demand 
At the Orkneys, at Gosport, and all round the land ; 
Deny her one jot in so righteous a cause, 
And we'll overturn the State, our Religion, and Laws^ 
All in Hell and in Heaven shaU join in the fray. 
To- kick down Hymen's stool and extinguish the day I 
That Varlet's a. monster who questions our rights ! 
That Varlet sha'nt live who'd embitter our nights ! 
We'll stab him with bodkins, and mar his delights! 
Those wights are deceiv'd who imagine a scold, 
'Cause she rails at the hussies, is pure, or cold : 
Some starch'd, demure I?aaaes» though towards Heaven 

all gracious. 
In the deed of delight are immense and voracious ; 
But broil with high rage if Nymphs sigh at Love's feas^ 
When the rapture 's unhallow'd by Law or the Priest. 
A woman, so full of extrenxes is Fate's plan. 
Is either or better or worse than a man : * 
If Virtuous, her virtue is something celestial ; 
If vicious, her vice sinks her into what's bestial ; 

Ah, cruel Jersey, hide that frame. 

In mercy do not view us ; 
Since sensual Dames, all clamorous, swear 

You can, with smiles, undo us. 

Do, as they wish, one deed of shame. 

Be all thy graces lent *em ; 
Eject those Gupids from your eyes; 

Be hideous, and content 'em. 

R 2 M^V^^ 



212 A P1N-BA8KBT TO TH£ 



When females depait from Propriety's centre, 

A door opes to Guilt, through which waggons might enter. 

When a fort is besieg*^, and in want of provisions) 

They send out battalions to meet war's collisions ; 

If the ninnies succeed, why 'tis weQ; but if not. 

Why* the more there are kiU'd will enhance their own lot : 

Thus Order and Policy jumble together. 

And Necessity's pressure proves Charity's tether. 

Can't you thus with this mob ? I advise as a Mend— 

Send your scouts for a Crhnp^ they ma}' answer an end* 

The brave die but once in their circle of years. 

But tlie coward dies every day in his fears. 

Like vile mutton tapers, they blaze without souls. 

And which Fortune, like slatterns, has lit on the coals, >i< 

Their radiance, encumber'd with filth, meets its doooif . ^ 

And inflam'd amid dirt, with that dirt will consume. 

Would they be, like steeds' tails, merely hang to be nick'df 

Or, like cats in a gangway, eternally kick'd I 

Do cither wish t'other a happy new year ? lir 

If they do, let each losel at least lose an ear r ^ 

Should such varlets rejoice that their miseries thrive, j O 

Who should pay a large impost for being alive ? 1 ^^j 

Nay even Philosophers sigh out each day. 

That their sorrows increase as their might wears away \ 

Send the knaves to Ierne*, to babble and toil — 

Perhaps they '11 be purer for changing the soil ! 

But 



♦ The Irish Drama. ^ 

It is presumed and believed that the Irish had little -or no taste 
for dramatic Performances until tlic time of Queen Elizabeth^ in the 
latter part of whose reign S/iakcsfejre'& plays were in repute io 

Dublin 



tvi 
til 
T 
ta 



U 



. CHiLDREN OP THESPIS. 213 



But before they attempt to amuse such A nation, 
I pray they may bring in a specification. ^ 
I remember that loon in the snufF-color'd wig. 
That repulsive Saranatxan, so wieldy, so big : 



He's 



I^ublin ; but they were originally performed there in the balUroonj^. 
of th^ Caatle, by the Nobility, and occasionally in their own hou«e«,, 
th^rc being no regular Theatre in the city at that pcrio^* The firs^ 
Theatre >that was built in Dublin wasi in St. WerburghVstrect, in 
1634, ^y ^r* Ogilby, who was then Deputy Master of the lie- - 
vcls of both kingdoms :r-it had a. Gallery and Pit, but no roxcs» 
except one for the superior accommodation of the Lord Lieut^naf>t, 
who was then the Eari 0/ Strafford, When the Rebellion broke out 
in 1645, that Theatre was shut up, and never mor« opened. i>i4r«. 
ing the civil wars Ocilby reuirned to En&land in distress, where 
he remained until 1662, when his friends obtained a renewal of his. 
patent, as. Master of the &cve!s» from the King, and he ret^cnedt 
to. Irelandf and built Smock-alley Theatre, by subscription, apdof- 
which he was the first Manager. That building tost upwards of. 
two thousand pounds — but the scheme did not succeed, and he re- 
turned to Londoain 1676, where he died. In 1671 a part of th|kt: 
Theatre fc 1 down, and killed several of the audience. It is unc«r-r 
tain whether any Plays were acted there again until afi^r the Rcvoi« 
]ut!on,and the first Piay upon record that was performed there w%% 
Oi/trl/Of represented by. some g> ntleipen tor their amusemqnt. Mip*. 
AsKBURY, who had been Deputy Master of the Revels tq Mr. 
Ogilry, was .the only professional Actor among them ; he ^er'« 
formed. It^Ct and the celebrated Mr. Wi|.kbs OtAe/io, that bcio|^ 
his firs' attempt ; and the great applause which he received induc<;d. 
him to become an Actor. About half a year after this event Mjr«, 
AsHBURY formed a regular Company, which was much qncoi^- 
raged, consisting of such high names as Wilk&s, Booth, t&Tr 
couRT, Kban, Morris, Griffith^ and T. ELRiwjfoH.- 
Tbe principa 1 Actresses were M rs. As h b u r y , Mrs. Kniqhtly, 
J^Ts. SviiTH, and the famous Mrs. Eutler, who bccai^e a great 
favorite with Charles the Sscoj^o. This Thca'ro^ flouris'.ied 
without interruption, under his management, from the Revt.lution 
to his death, which occurred in 172P, excepting that in the year , 
17Q1 the Galleries gave way,, on St. Stephen's day, and many \^^ere. 
wounded. Mr. Thomas Elrincton, hisspn-i^-law, succeeded 
him in his managtim. nt, which he continued unril his death, which 
happened, in 1 739. I n. 1 73 r a Booth, was creeled vu Cit«v^^ ^A-a^n.^ 
under tiw? ti'irieiii^qn of Madak^ yip.i,J^^i^» «a Wa^v^x^^V^- ^ 
R 3 A^^'^^^ 



214 A PlN-BASr^T TO TUB 



He 's a chief iu the back ground, ibc foot-ball of Sport ; 
A stock Nobleman he— a gay Lord of tlie Court : 
He's attended on Garrick, andMossov, and Barry, 
'If there 's force in his loins, do not let the Oftf marry ; 

E'en 

dancer ; bnt not meeting with success, she changed it into a Play- 
house : -there and then it was thstthc illustrious Mrs. Woffikc- 
TON made her first appearance in the Character of PoUy^ in the 
Beggar's Opera. This Theatre bcing^ suppressed by the Lord Mayor^ 
a more commodious one was built in Rainsford-street, by permis- 
sion of the £a a l of Mi ath ; of this Theatre Mr. Husbands war 
Manager. The Theatre- Royal in Aungiei-slrect was opentd in the 
year 1734 with the Recruiting Officer : it was at this Theatre that 
the great Handel performed his Oratorios. Shortly after, this 
Theatre was deserted, and that in Smock-alley was rebuilt by sub- 
scription, and opened with the Comedy of Love makes a Man,~" 
The City Theatre in Capel-street was opened on the 7th of January, 
'** >745» with the AffrcAdB/ tf/" KentVe. At this time the profits of 
one night, at any of the Dublin Theatres, seldom exceeded fifty 
pQunds. 

This Theatre in Capel-street was situated between Mary's-lane 
and Mary's-abbey, near Pnirps's bird-house, of which one Phi-' 
KIPS was Manager, who had been. originally a Mummer in the 
Company of a Mrs. lis, who frequented Bartholomew and South' 
wark fairs, and who afterwards acquired great celebrity as the Har- 
lequin of Drury-lane 1 hcatrr, when under the management of Mr* 
Flertwood : it was altered afterwards into a coach-maker*s shop, 
and is now a stable. Since the destruction of this 'J'heatre there 
was another erected in Capel-street, opposite Abbey-street, and 
was originally a Puppet-shew, and kept by one Stretch, and 
was called Stretch's Shew. On his demise it was occupied by 
Lewis Latfikld, the son of Lay field, an Englishman, who 
was the original Macheath of Dubltn, and one of the Managers of 
Smock-allfy Theatre. While Layfield was in this management, 
with two partners, he became sick, and his colleagues refusing to 
supply him with money, he sallied forth on one of the evenings of 
Pcr:ormance, with his broad sword under his cloak (for he had 
been a trooper), and going to the different Door-keepers, demanded 
alt the money, which he took from the Box, Pk, and Gallery of- 
fices, and then walked demurely home, and waiteo patently the 
return of his health. During a representation at Smcek-alky The- 
atre, the brother of an Irish nobleman, who was among the crowd 
of spectators upon the Stage, which was the custom at thatperiod, 
look 50i»c hidccent libcniet ^th the v(\£t qI qia ^\^« «^dgMex Ma- 



CHILDBEN OF THESPIS. 215 



£'en though Onslow an<l Abimgdon feed Fashion's 

whim^ 
I will have no more Lords if ajl Lords are like him. 
They 're filanders who stick to. the keel of the bark ; 
They 're mere worms who 're but gifted to shine in the 

dark : 

These 

nagets, which, coinitig to the ears of Layfxeld, he publicly 
swore, that, had the intruder abused his wife in a similar way, he 
would have wrung his neck off. This spirited expression being re- 
jiortcdtothe Honorable Impertinent, he had the mean and cowardly 
villany to hire twelve Dublin chairmen to horsewhip him, and the^ 
scene chosen was the Rose and Crown in Dame-street, from whence 
a message- was sent to Lay field, in the name of a friend. This 
house was then situated opposite Eustace- street. When the confe- 
derated' parties had met, their base intention was overheard by the 
Cook, who waited for Layfxeld in the street, and communicated 
the danger ; which was so far from intimidating the intrepid Lay* 
FIELD, that he swore he would walk into the room among them, 
having first borrowed a carving-knife from the Cook. When he 
entered the room, the insolent sprig of Nobility asked him if he had 
used the reported threat respecting him, which the other answered 
in the affii-mative — when his dastardly adversary gave his myrmi- 
dons the word of Command— but Lay field, seizing the rascal by 
the collar, puHed out his knife, and swore, wiih the most terrific 
imprecations, that if one of the chairmen stirred from his seat, he 
would cut off the scoundrel's head. They obeyed the stern man- 
date—while Lay FIE ID dragged this treacherous reptile to the 
street, where he kicked him, and rolled him in the kennel, until his 
life was endangered by the severe castigation. This should operate 
as another proof how very necessary it is to banish those herds of 
puppies from behind the scenes, who did infe'^t all the Theatres, 
and who now continue to annoy and insult every ihing that is mo». 
dest or worthy, durin^r the representation of the Irsilian Opera! — 
Mr. LayfiIlld was nlade State Trumpeter, and became the Pro- 
prietor of Ma>lbor< ugh Gardens. 

Stretch's Shew was after this new- modelled, and rendered 
- more commodious, for the late Mr. Dawson, in conjunction with 
Mr. Claocbt, and Mr. Robert Mahon, who had then a 
very respectable Coihpany, among -whom were Messrs. Lewis, 
G- Dawson, O'Keefe, Wilkes, Gl^nviule^ Vvt^^"«''»-'^ % 
Mils Grosb/ Mrs. ?opi, then Mi» 'Youno^ «£A ^>s!^ Kva.-- 



21 6 A PI27-BASRBT TO THE 

These contemptible insects would all strut as Dons, 
And usurp a dominion, like mice at Saint John's ! 
They 'd each have a splendid Laurenium to roam in^ 
They 'd have nobody hirng who had mnrdcr'd old wt)inen* 

What 

MORE, now Mrg. Sparks.— After him it wis tenanted by Mr. 
Watts, who brought t Company from England, consisting of 
Mr. and Mrs. Birnard, Mrs. Watts, &c. Between ihes« 
c\'cnt8 it was hired by Philosophic Lecturca and Shewmcn, sudi> 
as Or. piNWJDBii, Mr. Cartwrioht, Dr. Graham, Bris* 
LAW, Prusia, Sec. 

In the year 17.79 Meurs. Gioroani and Lroni engaged the 
Capcl-8t;ei t Tfieatre to perform Operas. I'bcir Company included. 
Mr. Lboni, Mr. Corry, Mr. Duffky, Mr. Glsnvillk, 
Mr. CcAN, Mr. Powell, and Mc. Mi all, who was Acting 
Manager. The principal Ladies were Miss Whkslrr, Miss 
Palmer, Mrs.MoRRELL, &c. Dr. Houl ton and I translated 
and prepared the Operas, and Mr, Giordami composed tb» 
Music. 

Mr. Sheridan began his dramatic government at Smoclualley 
Theatre about t^e year 17^2. Jt was this Gentlenaao who had the 
honor of engaging Mr. Gar rick to play in Ireland. The British 
Roscius played m Dublin one season, and in tb^ season Mr« 
Barry made his entre on the Stage, under the dire^iou of Mr.. 
Gar RICK, to whom he presented a silver cup, as an. acknowledge 
ment of his eminent services. Mr. Shkrii>am was driven from 
the management by a riot in 17^3, in conset^cnce of Mr. Dico-xs- 
having refused to repeat ^ patriotic speech in the Tragedy o£ 
Mahomet, He remained in Loodou three years, and; then reuunedl 
his scenic sceptre, at Smock-aliey, in 1756. In 1759 ^^ 6o»hc 
quitted that Theatre again, ^ Bakky aqd Wooi>war» had 
built a Theatre m Crow -street, which, nuterial'y injured bjs rc« 
ceipts. Mr. Sheridan afu;i>ward«. played with Mr. Barry;. 
from whence he went to Loudon,' and pUycd at Drury-Jane 
Theatre, under Mr. Gar&i ck ; and when the transfer of that pro- 
perty was made to his luminous son R. B. Sheri.dax, Mr^LiN* 
LEYj^nd Mr. Ford, he acted as Deputy- Manager \tt the concern. 
He aelivered Lectures, or Readings, a^ Freema^cuM'- Hall, ia Lent, 
in concert with Mr. Henderson, and died at Iklargate, in Kenu 
Smpck-allcy Theatre was for two years, under (he pj^udentia) ma-, 
n^ement of Mr. Sow don, a tolerable Actor snd a worthy man: 
but it is now converted into a corn- factor's storehouse j^-^ic/rdnitt 
gkna mimil-^^* Corn ooy grows wbijr^ Tuoy town stj)ftd>!' . 



CHILDREN. OF THE3PI9* 217 

What "lazars ! — what brutes ! — ^how' unconcious of 

fear! 
Chain them all 'neath a conduit, and wash them a year. 
Should the Gods, in good-humour, incontinent grant 
The Varlets three wishes their passions might want. 

Let 

Mr. Barry opened his new theatrical establUhmcnt with pccu« 
liar strength, having with him Messrs. Woodward, Mossop, 
Foots, and MxckLiN. In the ensuing season he engaged Mrs, 
Abington ; and Mossop began his management at Smock-alley : 
ia the second season of which he engaged MissCATLXY, Mr4 
Macklxn, Mr. Sowdon, and his honorable victim Jamis 
Wilder. The history of Mossop's scenic government is a tissue ^ 
of pride, folly, and ingratitude. In order to rescue the charaaer 
of the late Countess of Brandon from that ooloquy which was 
affixed to it by the vulgar and malignant of her time, I shall relate 
the cause of that Lady's presumed partiality for Mr. Mossop. Hit 
father was an Ecclesiastic, and bad been Chaplain to her Hrst hu -^^ 
band, Lord Athenry ; and his son, Henry Mossop, had been 
nurtured and protected in her family. It was during the rage of 
Mr* Barry's popularity, who was protected by the Dutchess o£ 
Lexnster, Lady Lumm, Mrs. Gardener, Mrs. Clements,. 
&C. that Mr. Mossop, on bis commencing Manager of Smock- alley 
Theatre, applied to Lady Brandon to bespeak his night, which 
•he complied with, in the pure spirit of benevolence, and it was 
from that noble event that the adherents of the'Crow-street Theatre 
faction circulated reports that were wholly unfounded in fact : but 
from such iiliberality no state is free ; and the Members of Thea« 
tres, in all countries, are not among the most indolent recruits 
whenScandal beats the drum. Poor Mossop perished with chagrin 
in consequence of Mrs. Bar r y's refusal to act with him on his in* 
tend^ re9ppearance at Drury-lane Theatre: — The late Mr. DaWi 
^ou communicated her resolution to him at the Salopian Coffee- 
house, when he gave a deep sigh, and retired to his miserable 
lodging at Chelsea, and died in November 1773) thiee days after 
the abrupt denial. 

Mr. Ryder began his theatrical management at Smock*alIey. 
Theatre in 1775 ; he rented it of Dr. Wi lson, then Senior Fellow 
of Trinity College, at an annual rent, of 300L At the end of four 
years he took Crow-street Theatre of Mrs. Barry, where he con-, 
tinued until his bankruptcy. 7'hen he entered into partnership 
with Mr. Crawford, who had married Mrs. Barry, which 
lasted for one season ; at the termination of which he cti«A«s^^% "^^ . 



218 A FIH-BASKIT TO TUB 



Let us have all the gin in the world, spme would cry, 
An. I for all the tobacco the others would sigh : 
But pos'd for another request, in one diii, 
All the knaves would vociferate — Give uft mtfrtginJ 

A 

flnt Actor, witTi Mr. Daly, who had taken Smock alley Theatre 
In the ensuing year Mr. Daly took Crow-street Theatre, whcri 
be has rcnriained ever since. Shortly after this period Mr. Harris 
of Covcnt-garden Theatre, engaged Mr, Rtdbr, for several yean 
at a salary of sixteen pounds per week. He made: his first appear 
ance in Sir John Brute, and did not saccecd agreeably to tht 
expectutioii of hir: friends ; the truth is, that the part did not fi 
his powers, although there are many, such as 5:», Captain Ironsida 
the Copper Captain, Scrub, Hob, &c. in which he must have exci|e< 
much approbation. Ryder, feeling his situation not altoge 
ther eligible, olFeicd to resign his articles to Mr. Harris for a cer 
Uin sum of money, which being accepted he quitted London fo 
ever. He went to Edinburgh, and from thence to Dublin ; in th 
vicinity of which he died, oppressed with discontent, if not misery. 

Mr.' Daly, who superseded poor Rtder, had made his ap 
pearance at Covent-garden Theatre, where he played a few nighi 
-with a limited success On his visiting his native country in th 
aammer, he had the good fortune to attract the notice of the ami 
able Mrs. Listir, formerly Miss Barsanti, whom he mai 
ried, and to whom he stands indebted, most highly, for his pre 
fc'isional advancement. She was* an exccUcn: Comic Actrass, and 
what is far more estimable, a good woman ! 

There is a Tlieatre in Fi shamble-street, which was formerly th 
Music Hall, and from that altered into a Theatre, which was occu 
pied by Messrs. Vanokrmire, Sparks, and Waddy, and i 
now a private Theatre, patr miscd by the Nobility, in oppositio 
ro Mr. Daly, an' is under the direction of Mr. Jones. I pro 
ftss to know nothing of Mr Daly but in his public capacity 
and in that point ot view he appears to me, from his spiriud an( 
judicious conduct, rather to desrrve the protection of the IrisI 
Nobility than otherwise. But no Theatrical Manager ever di< 
continue to succeed in Dublin; and, it is possible, thcinhabita^t 
may have resolved that none ever shall. 

There is an Amphitheatre at the corner of ^eter-strect, whicl 
was crrcfed by Mr. Astliy, who peiforms his equestrian ex- 
ercises there every iseason. 

Mr. Walker, the original English Macheath, went to Dublir 
about the year 1738, and performed at Smock-alley Theatre. Thij 
ill-fated Comedian died in great horror in a cellar in Barrack-, trect, 
' ' DublWi 



CHILDREN •'iOP THBS9I3* 21 9 

As the pest of the Nile, in maternal affright, 
Bears its young on its frame to elude human sight ; 
Thus should we, with our spawn, we are both lusty dames. 
Take the Fry on our backs, and ru o into the Thames : 
Though some caitiffs among 'em would issue the stronger, 
More ardent, more daring, loquacious, and younger } ^ 
But we'll let them exist as low Stulti unown'd ; 
There 's the proverb to aid— they -re not bom lo be 

drown'd. 
Some men are so talented, talon *d, and clev«r. 
Were they chain 'd to the centre by Fate as for ever. 
They'd wriggle through strata and bore beds of day. 
Then burst the Globe's crust, and look up at the day I 
One might think, like the Fins, that their wit's so diseas'd, 
If they are not well batter'd they'll never be pleas'd ! 
Sure maddening traits are displa^ d by each loon ; 
Can't you fix them, like Merciuy, over the moon ? 

.Dublin. Walker had been in Ireland in the meridian of hit 
fame ; and while he was enacting in the Regpar^s Opera^ at the 
Theatre in Lincoln's>inn fields, he ^as induced to tell some ludi* 
crous anecdote which had an Irishman for the subject ; this rela- 
tion so enraged a silly und ostentatious man of quality of that na- 
• lion, who was behind the scenes, that I e indiscreetly called 
Walker a scoundrel, and threatmed to cRastise him. This lan- 
guage, which precluded all apology, exasperated the insulted Acbor 
so much, that he instantly drew his sword, and called upon his 
adversary to %ht, which Uie other declined with some contemp* 
tuous remarks upoir his profession. As the spirited Performer in- ^ 
sistcd upon satisfaction for so gross an affront, it impel cd some other 
- Irish Gentlemen, who were there, to join in the attack upon 
Walker, and he would have been overthrown by thtir confede- 
rated violence, had not the ccltbrated Duke of Wharton been 
present, who gcnercusU- dtclared, that if they meant it should be 
a partial assault, he would sustain the weakest party, and then 
drew and arranged himself on the side of Mr. Walter ; which 
seasonable interpotitiou luckily put an end to the affray. 



220 A. PIN-BA8KBT TO TRB 

Some believe men are sad in a sapient redundance. 
As the fat bear a curse in their body's abundance I- 
What untruths Misconception 's eternally bringing, 
When those gipsies are roaring the mob caU it singing ! 
So when hinds at the dawn of Aurora awake. 
And rush out of their nests with a scythe or a rake ; 
Tlie cock leaves his roost too, spruce, gallant, and bold, 
And takes comfits of barley. to keep out the cold; 
But by Lassitude prest towards his mistresses going. 
Shakes his feathers and yawns, which those idiots caB 

crowing ! 
Like the imps of Hermannus they sigh not to wed. 
But would cheat Doctors' Commons, and pig in one bed; 
They 'd regard not Wit's tablet, nor what Wit has told. 
Were it writ, like the Schodba, in letters of gold ! 
Tho' granivorous they 'U whet not, or brandish the sickle; 
They 're inert, though undone, and though sluggish they're 

fickk ; 
Take their brains out and scrub 'em, they 're craz'd, that's 

assur'd. 
In a mild interlunium, perhaps, they're endur*d : 
Swallow flatulent herbs, raise a storm with your bile. 
And blow these Ascarides out of the Isle : 
Have they fcrr can vizors, or is it their faces ? 
How their muscles must ache — they arc worn witk 

grimaces i 
These coram mm judice deeds they enforce. 
And believe no tribunal can question their course; 
They *re bred in Cornelian laws, and begin 
To officiate ere manhood has stubbled the chin I 

Are 



CHILDREN OF THESPIS. 221 

Are they Nature'* last dribblets — the sweepings of matter ? 
Are they food for the sewer ? d' ye hear how they chatter ? 
'Stead of list'ning to mc, hark, they're wrangling 'bout 

jugs: 
Has the Dipsas been here ? Pull that sot by the lugs ! 
Zounds, shall I toil and sweat to illumine a lout, - 
While his thoughts arc allied to--a tankard of stout ? 
Oh, Heaven! why will not such beings retire 
Ere the beam of Disdain burns them up with its fire ? 
Some loons have been pelted and scorn 'd ere they've slunk. 
As some won't hide dead bodies till after they 've stunk* 
What they should^ with such scroyles, is not warning 

enough, 
Till it's thunder'd Tou must^ they'll not wag, but look 

gruff: 
Alas, how presumptuous ! e'en Echo they *11 stun ; 
If I tickle their errors they swear they're undone; 
Each hies to his den, and blasphemes or deplores. 
Till a Chief rings the tocsin, then all the Horde roars : 
Though the love of long life is to ask unborn woes. 
Yet their folly will crave what their wit should oppose I 
The tumultuous waste health, and tlieir senses destroy* 
Yet egregiously think their destruction 's their joy ; 
As the smoke of the cup proves the warmth of the tea. 
The' that warmth is reduc'd by those means which we see. < 
While they bawl out applause every excellenjce bleeds ; 
They are bless'd in their dulness, but damn'd in their 

deeds. 
As til' Apostolic twain (which j^Igardt well wrought). 
High buoyant in air, and as madd'ning in thou<^\v\.^ 



2TO A riK-BA^KM TO tft* 

Cun*d the Scythian who nish'd to sack RotnCy.tvit 

tOI^CSy 

And amthematiz'd aU his host with their lungs : 
'Thus would I with these slaves who give Worth t 

ditidli. 
And stab Wit in despite ofeach Muse's j^tion ; 
They appid every Minstrel who 're icar-d while thei 
Till Merit, like Philomel, acuds from the day ; 
And duheveU'd and wild in the haunts of Despair, 
Makes e'en quarries responsive, and hallows the air 
Some Seniors vnll chuckle their faults mark'the Staj 
Wit^ Absurdity big, they are p*oud in their rage, 
And seem blest that their errors may run thro* an e 
Thus Grannies love urchins much more than theii 
Tho' they spew o'er their vestments and pinch thei 

gambs ; 
Yet believing they live in the Thing and its ends, 
They betray second childhood,, ahdhug what ofFen( 
Bid thepilf'rers come round-^those can list whc 

see; 
Here's the Theatric DecsdOgue, hear it from me: 
Thou shalt pay no obedience to Vice or to Folly : 
Thou shalt tell no base fib* or of Richard or DoL 
Thou shalt murder no ally or coz of good sense : 
Thou shalt steal not, or thunder, orlightning, or pe: 
Thou shalt honor the Muses, and light them when b 
Thou shalt touch not the skirts of those Ladies \ 

wedded : 
Thou fehalt m^ke not a Baal for Iticre or gain : 
Thou shalt nevtr be quoting our titks in vain : 



CHILDftBN OF TH£8P1S. 223 

Thou shalt gad not on Sundays, or tipple, or labour : 
Thou never shalt covet tlie vrouw of thy neighbour : 

^ if they recollect thisi and act up to the letter, ^ 

Each man will be hs^pier, and wiser, 'and better.-— 
Ye coach-calling Rips from the Opera door ; 
Ye Criers of Burghs, who so flog the stray poor ; 
Ye slaves at St. James's, who freea^ in the lobby,. 
To vociferate chairs for Tom Stse lb ^d Lord Bobby f 
£«tfiK bellowing Nymph, with her cods on her head, , 
Who v^ith^9wen of BiUingsgaU proves she 's well bred ; 
Come here a^d be Players-«r»you've nothing to crave 

.Sut! what Impudence givea^ and that blessing you have ; 
Yet take care, should Melfouunc come, that you hide 'ebi, , 

-A^ though Folly loves- scrubs, she could never abide 'em ; 
Let tb^m couch in the Greethtfoom ; but, taking th/eir. naps. 
They may belch and be known : kick 'em aU down the 

traps* 
When a awag-beHied Git would nde e'er Lopdon stones^ 
Who is weighty ^s. S^duep^-^merc g^arbiage q^od bones ; 
The hackney-man fearing his horses should spy him, 
Hold^ his ha^ 'twe^i;^ the beasts 9^ the viler goes by hjm | 
In the drec^d, should they see, they might owe him a 

gru4ge. 
Break the ^acre down, or perhaps would not budge. 
If the atmosphere 's thick when a novel day dawns. 
Poets say not 'tis fog, but 'tis Phoebus that yawns ; 
Who ha^ wak«, and half sleeping, insults human sights 

, And imperfectly turns the dark lantern of Night : 
Yet we know that those Hours all laughing will be,. 
Wbie9 tbe Qiist sha^ conaui^e ^n.d th^ ifiuikitud^ scq : 



224 A PIN-BA8KfiT TO THE - 

But, alas ! 'tis not so in this Gothic demesne^ 
Where tlic more we reflect 's to increase but our pain : 
Some are guilty, from shame, who their state would secure. 
As many would rather seem vicious than poor I 
No rotary gleam will the darkness dissever. 
And the taste of the realm * is benighted for ever J 
Nuy some, all intent to make Folly increase. 
Will amphfy Pride till they drive out their peace : 
Those should shun a new evil who 're previous acciirstf ^ 
As the dropsical that >vhich induces a thirst. 
From the rage of precedence, how all disagree I 
Though those who 're help'd first have the worst of the tca# 
Men affect to be what they are not, from their knowing 
Nor Heaven nor Eatth approve that which they're doing ; 
While pseudo- Philosophers shrink at Pain's bangs, 
They*'ll egregious affirm that they 're feeling no pangs I 
Their mouths are but stores in which idiom is put. 
And, like doors, are just made but to open and shut. 

♦ When the King, Queen, and Royal Family, go to the Thcatrci 
of Drury.lane or Covent-garden, they give ten pounds to the Mu' 
n.igcT for themselves and suite. It waa "formerly twenty. There 
18 no reaso.iable person can object to this sum, is being too smaltt 
-when they recollect the hospitality of his Majesty** household, and 
the limited allowance appropriated by the nation for his supporU 
The Prince of Wales and the Princess Royal give each five pounds 
when they go in state . But the Managers present two guineas to 
tbe ycouien, one guinea each to the fooimen, and nine shillings to 
the coachmen, making all together the sum of six pounds fittectt 
shillings. They wcie formerly accommodated with ham, bcef| 
and porter. 

During Mr. GarriCk's management, ofce of the late King'i 
servants had taken a public-house at the corner of Wych street, 
railed the Queen of Bohemia, where the other servants were ac» 
custonpcd tv) go and fgale during the representation; and it hap- 
peucd one evening, at the termination of the play, that the King, 
and his consort CAti.oL in b, could hnd none of their attendants, 
and were compelled to go home privately in two chairs I 

Some 



CHILDREN OF THESPI». , 22$ 

— ■■■■' ' ' ■ ■ ■ . — ^ 

Some thiiik a scull drest, though a mere block and hat, 
i^s shades make a niche seem, when in truth 'tis 3 flat ; 
Some have cover'^d with figures their bridal arrays 
Which when lav'd in the vessel will all* melt away* 
, *T is the test proves the good-r-'t is the end» not what is 1 
Once TiHt dream'd of thrones* yet now who would be 

Fiz? 
But the higher a polish our nature '11 receive. 
The greater 's our predisposition to grieve ! 
Some suppose, who by drams have made thinking vat* 

sound* 
'Cause their brains are too hot» that the building goes 

round : — 
Lo ! each hangs his ^ars, like a rod-threaten'd youth ; 
Or a Metaphysician confronted by Truth : 
Does that reprobate redden, or is it decision i 
Is it true that he blush'd, or have I a dimm'd vision 
Shall n\y fist ^d his jowl form a point of colHsion 
Who 's yonder cropp'd losel ? he hears me and sculks : 
Can't he ^ve for a w^^^i-rphas he boarded the hulks -^ 
Tkruet them into a kettle ; boil all till they«aimmer ; 
Then skim off their filth, they 'U.seem neater and trimmeri 
Put them under the bju^^-^vaUrf shut the poor's bo3^ ; : . 
Turn 'em all out to graze on the Lemnian rocks. 
I'm not plcas'd wk^ the state that your hussies are in ; 
X b^ve ha^nc'd Uufir wishes, they verge towards sin; . 
I'm afraid they've the Queen of Navarre^s ^naughty tales^ 
Or the SmImi Secnm^ — tl^^y *ve bought, X^o^ M sale]?. 
Pray take car^ of their morals, remove Passion'v stiogi^ - 
EqittWKial wjomfio ore ibmg^iQiw il^i^ « . 

• ■ ^ z ■ -'- • '- 



i> 1 



2'i6 A PXN-EASKBT TO THB 

Let them kiiuw all that Syntax and Prosody teach. 
And that substance and quality fill human speech : 
Though we scarcely can transverse t)ie grain of the > 
And some tcom to be useful who ne'er will be good 
Behold that large, confident minx, next the Box, 
With her unweeded diction and dishevell'd locks ; 
Her rough understanding 's an insult to Fate ; 
" It seems running to waste, like a rented estate : 
Autocratrix of errors, of nought she 's afraid ; 
She would roar drimunduhs next the Lesbian maid ! 
Time has stole all the oil from the lamp of Jier mind, 
As Horses o'ermatch'd and o'erworkM becoite blin< 
Tho' these queans are all fetid, and grov'liiig as swi 
Tho' they 're tough and compress'd, like cow-beef 

the brine, 
They '11 believe a rank knave when he calls them divh 
Were this globe split in half by the Governor's boltj 
They would squeeze some salt tears, and go cling i 

these dolts ! 

And those drops (just a dozen) would steal from eacl 

• Were their iq^ocents murder'd, or smocks pinn'd ai 

But such floods wash their souls, as, in five minutes 

They'd rebound * like blithe kidhngs, and stun us 

laughter ! 

♦ Anecdotes of VniLi^iPi the 'B.jM:,%q,\3\'n, 

Phillips hid the following c«;capc while performing in a 1 
mime at Drury-lane Theatre, in Fleetwood** time. It was 
into a window about 12 feet high ; the manner of executing it ' 
follows :~A Porter brings in a cask, and sets it down at the d< 
a siu>poscd Yr>np>vauU. Harlequin throws himself on his hand 
hisfe^t on the shoulders of the Porter, who seizes on his toes, 
which jtfststancc, io the cotilmued nvodot^, he- throws hi 
MJtrough the window : it U & ci'iULa\m«xx)&i\MVM^c.u\^^ ^^\\: 



CHILDREN OP THESPI9. ^^T i. 



Their grief's all illusion, like Medea's pot— 

*T is a spark — 'tis a gleam — it is here, and *t is not ! 

Let them rove as base wizards, and live upon rinds— • 

Measure natal ascendants, and cozen the hinds — 

Heat the blood of pale Nyn^hs — set their Passions at 

strife — 
And beg a crook'd six-pence, and damn 'em for life — 
Wander down a green lane on their asses, in rowB-^ 
Pilfer clouts from the hawthorn, and masticate sloes- 
Slaughter lambs, and tear through their young limbs 

with their tusks— 
Sleep and banquet 'neath hedges, and glut 'em on husks. 

Harlequin, for the least mistake would destroy the effect. It hap- 
pened one night that the Scetc-man had nor got to the place in 
time, and Phillips must have broke his neck, had it not been for 
one of th- Dressers who was passing at that imminent moment, viih 
his regale of a pint of porter, and '^rcad and cheese, when he 
came in the exact perpendicular with Phillips ; — his fall wis 
Weaken d by it, and they both escap^-d wonderfully with very little 
detriment. ^ • 

To sjy that Phil lips had some celebrity in his proJFession is too 
cool colouring for him ; for hisexcc'iion on the Stage was more like 
a IVti/'O' tke-tvisp, or a flash of lightning, in every thing he did. He 
was a dissipated bonviVant^ and much given to ihe interests of the 
Paphian Governess. One evening that Majesty was to grace the ^ 
Stage box, with a command for a favorite Paniornime, the Harle- 
quin was not to be found; he was at tha^ period in-uring pollution 
and disease in one of the alleys of Drury-lane ; but his retreat was 
discovered in time, and the wcll-scerttcd hounds of the Theatre were 
dispatched in search of him ; but the diffi': ulty was to convey him 
to the Theatre by .some understrappers of the law, who were ge- 
nerally waiting for him : to effect this he was placed in a hamper, 
and a wine porter carried him, as he was rolled up like a wood>lou8e 
(for he was small, and had been used to contT<ict himself when a 
Tumbler, into a little compass), in which state he passed safe through 
a congregation of bailiffs. 

Th'i rage^for Pantomime now is infinitely more 9rev*.iwv\.\?K«vS!C 

was at that period — inasmuch as many o^ \.Vvo%^ tivo^ctw Cclrw^<:^^«->• 

which have bren rhoit applauded by the baiae m\\\\otw, ^x«. cKK»i«??=^ 

exhibitions, dependeiit on simil»r trick. Uid\»2&»^ti«i^\ ^ 



AI 



328 A PIN'-BASKET TO THB 

True Comedy * lies in purtuing the way 
To be c^m in yourself and make all otbert gay : 
When the Actor declares he *• a comical loon^ 
We hold smiles as grimaces— the maa a buflpon : 

* Further Rimarks uffm tkt FLXicxtB Drama. 

There are Theatres at present at Bruges, Ghent, and Oitend, m 
Austrian Flanders, and in French Flanders, at Lisle ; in Brabant, at 
Brussels aiid Antwerp ; in Hainau, at Mous. All these Theatres art 
maimained by erratic troops from France, The prices of admissioa 
at Brussels and Antwerp are, in the Boxes ss. 4a. in the Pit it. ltd. 
and the Gall'^ry 7d. In Lisle the first Box is tea livres, or 8s. 4d. 
the second Boxes five Uvres, the Pit three livres, and the Gallery 
•ne livre. 

' There are at present two Theatres at Amsterdam, in Holland 5 
in one of which they use the Dutch language, and in the other th^ 
French : there is also one at Rotterdam, tA French ; and one at thQ 
Hague, in French. 

There is a Theatre at Liege, where they have a French Com- 
I»any, by permission of the Prince Bishop, who sometimes sitf 
there incog. In this Theatre they have a peculiar mode of applaud- 
ing the Performers, with their feet, and not their bands, which 
sounds like the trampling of a regiment of cavalry. 

In consequence of the indisposition of a prinapal Singer of the 
Theatre at Liege, a subaltern was put on as bis substitute ; but he 
had scarce begun his character when he was violently bissed : h^ 
went, notwithstanding, through the air wiih the utmost indifference, 
and at its conclusion he stepped forward and thus declared :<w 
'* Gentlemen and Ladies (a^ that is the mode thcjre of arranging the 
•exes on such occasions), [ have nol the honor to understand you per- 
fectly ; the ^fanage^ gives n»c but six h^mdred franco for the season^ 
and I have brought you a voice according with the reward ; bijit it 
teems that it is your pleasure to luve a voice wotth a tho.usan4 
crowns, and for which you must w^Uit until the other Perfqrmcr 
\\ recovered." This merry appea] was received with piaiidiis, an4 
Ute piece was concluded wiihput imerruptiui^. 

When a celebrated £i|uestriaA Professor was a* Brussels, qxK hie 
seturn'fr«pi Paris, be solicited per mis i^o of the Lieutcnaqt de Po* 
lice to exhibit "his feais for several n'ghts* a^idr the request wa# 
(ranted. On the first «Mfi9ing of the pi rforma<nce, ija a sort of 
temporary Amphithea^, tbe Chvqf of the Ti;Qpp entered the rjn^ 
smd^dreHcd the Coi9p«ny thvu '.— *" L^dk* vw3i Qe^nm^n^— but, 
daaunc, Mcibat AffM&ei. my <4^Q6 y9Ui«<)m>j^ ^<:Y;^m«^tx, >j^>iv 



■^^"feHILDREN OF THESPIS. .;. . 22^^*^ 




jl ;^ j!Ji^e.*Kp$l9pe'j8 toil, or Physkkti'^.pr^uiti: 
■^i'iiiAlthat'd'.got in one armum 'k *a-ii*(iwie uii -tH* 



tfc next. 




v/'^'^t^Sst ireed^'iKit the scale of comparaUve'wo^'i^^'^'V^.ljfr'.^'- 
5*.-VX^iJ;Jovj£^mpless grant our illusory wishesjj'^'-;^*^*'.?'^ 
Jy;..'J5l^,msmii*t*ld want fruit and cates for■tIlSVdlsll^eifk;i•• 
>/..\ ,^B. iccTOj^y*, Naniberp, or TrutV Vtlwty knblfiri.' 

x/\', l^©jettidyJ'tlladSfvHeaTen, oppresses Qieir tKotiglij^"-/v ;>-: • 

.^S:#'|vt^ • ■ ' ^ . •■•-■''■"' •■ '•:^: 

"^ ,d0iSf^tjjfl(lFlir5l{(Hjf|'--so I say Mounseers and Madams,! have broU^^- V 
v^ f <yqotkf''i^9KL'*4i«|tf"j5i3ig little tvbiii/in ail the world; but, zounatf*'^. 
■*i%^;-i'ca^HV^{('**^i|^|tclir Pd let you into the whole sccreti )iiJt ..' 
'\;l^*!^*J'*^rii^^^f'^- ^i^^^^^^A^f-^holloe, Mr. Merryman, can';'yAfi J^.i 
- "'-,^ ^''(t^f'i?^^^* -^ J5^d, Maitejf : — So Mr. Merryman can't pafh.. 
,\^ '^ifi^Wcll'^'Voi^W'^orset ibali idi their own stories:-^ I inteni^-- 
•"it'^^ nrrjkf.^**i^4"*>Q^4,'VhyiicTaii, and that Dun a Master of the Ce*.-^ 
\ ri:lTi«jTc|^4ft?^i>tfk^*<^J*0 ^i^i« as well afs'-^. 

"f^^i^ii^XNk '^nrf Vx" s i,. o r V i st.r i sC ic. &c. " And i n this • 
^ <._ fajjyVicictrd he rulK^pTijily ^i4Wif crate before Ific most polishedpcople 
* J^lf^ BijM^^ii'^nrtl^^tt^- oif wKdm uridcrst6pd him, excepting Lady 
'., '- C^^ii^'^^, JtS^^-JCtr^i-iLiLL^ Mth, Mark y, and about a dozen Kng» 
*'„ V ^Ujh* ijlidic* am .-4?'<Liiilf men^ ffoiTi whom- 1 heard the story, and 
■■■ ^*3*Lrt^'*'^* '*^I"&^*i wiihlaugbtcr at the brazen .buffoonery of the 
. % .a*[.^;siti]t^ ftrkii/i^j^Uvefcd hi* unintelligible ikr'gfMi with the utiqoK. • 

""•- »'; ■, •* *. 'Jf'', "* /•'»'» *■• ' 

7.:J:^'i .-'A* \i.- -^V.: ♦^/^(tUnities..'' 'U": 
, '• •• 'i^* •■ ■ . .•...' .•.•.:. • . • - •. 

•."v.. Jh%- l^n!t)«tH5jF.j|Xii6e andlUBC.-arc the onlyiitit* that are fe*corU»r 
r/lo-^hVJ^JWl^^i ^pd;fiave diviiipa'crirics into t>\;o 3»» roc's, those wiw 
'. /fif^J^^iii^'^^ip approve ottLcm. How far ihey atcacc«&■*^^ 



2*^0 A PIN-BASKET TO TUB 



Mooks tell us the best art' qiiiutessence of duat> • ,« 

And who but will take what Monks tell us on tnuf ? .;«' 
Yet if that, is the case, sure these oafs are all majbp ^ - \ ^ 
Of some viky recking duhg^ that would suUy the 8fa4j» ; V 
And from atoms likir theirs, germinate all those aeeds, V -; ^^ . 
Which engender fur7.c, hemlock, and thisde% and weei»l^ 
Pr'ythee don 't let them touch me — I eschew their wilesr^* • • 
They would gire me the scrophuhiy tucsy of-pAesh ■. J 

I hate Coarseness so deeply — its laws, and its ieaTen-4 - 
Tliat I 'd scarcely be sav'd, were there Vulgar • in Heavciff' V 

to theDramax>n the score of probability, I have coniiiiered in ai^BH ." 
ihcr plKe. , * ■ ■■ ■ '.'■• 

Instead of examining whether- t^p Unities of ^qBCindplac^' are '.. 
necessary, we ought first, to inquire what reason theirc is to folate 
them. A Poet, we will say, begins a Tragedy^ andi writes thefirtt 
act without havinj{ iatroduccd any chiua^ of place* crs prolonged . 
the time : arrived at that point, he finds it convenient to do so, and 
"B/Ccording to his reasons, I approve or condemn liipi.' If he.kay^ 
either that he is obliged before a certain day to fuiriiHi a Piece for- 
Iha 'i heatre, or that ho ha» such natural iropatteoce and walk •£ 
ftalcnta fo: correct composition, that he cannot .wirite by rule, Vfitb- 
out spoiling the work he haa undertaken, the utnoHpoetioidi li-.^ 
ccoce ought to be allowed him, aacL he ought to be ^mpktely, ,- 
iiidiiferent to the cavils of French dogniati^m. ^ut if be snzh t^ 
represent all farther aitcmpta at perfection as uail^iay atad coflH^lhiaC 
that, without ext.-^ding the time, be cannot combine nt^.«onc '^ece . - 
two events related in history ; I would ask hinOf ^h)(.K5) doSsa ftoC 
look into the annals of imaginalum^ and find thcra^cry jp6nib3« sih*' * 
tuatton that may serve hia purpoae? If b6*b« not^ono.' of. the 
few, whom skill or patience enables to search thoa^Volomea* let bias -> 
not reahly question the existence of what ihey'coftt^io* Sujp^ae 
one writing bad Poetry were to say gravely, in cftcuae for lt|-.duiK i^ ' 
was too difficult lo pioduce expresaive and harmonious languiigiaj ' ' 
urcmld it be thought sufficient l^^^ul§ Lbttbiis«/i^^ X>KAirA.r • 

* Lest the term vulgar might be misundcrsto^, fmu'st xifopntk 
the reader, that it is meant to apply exclusively to ajl •those who 
violate the ordinances of good saise and good ma'iincra ; and iia this 
mimbof, according to my experience, tliere are a gfoaler ^rtion 
among fchoat who are rich, than those who are poor 1 ". 

'■- ; . How 



CHILD8SN O!' THB9?IS/ 73^1 

« . How.the moon. shootiii|r reptiles all grin^ and look round 

'cm! 
Can the ctorms of the fikies knd the ocean confound 'em ? 
They'll. all rush 'fore the nobie, wherever they find 'etn, 
Afi small bodies, when near, can shade greatness behir.d 

?em! 1 

They 'd subscribe to a loan, without credit or riches ; 
One half go Philand'nng without any breeches 1 
To their gripe have the Virgins of Dniry been given 5 
To them Lewktier't-lane was a sublunar heaven ! 
•Ah I would that I were but one-twentieth so clever 
. As those curs think they are — I 'd be honor'd for ever : 
Let each slave' have the knout — nail 'em up like dead bats- 
Hunt them down like the Pard, or a Norwegian's cats. 
They would tear off her manteau, and knit with Despair! 
They would swallow the Slrocy and call it fresh air I 
2iounds ! I 'U give them « prize— here 's a tub of 

Boot h's gin ; 
Who 's most deep in yon dung shall be lauded, and win : ■ 
Sec, they 're stripping I that 's right ! faith, that loon has 

a shirt ; 
Let each go h«ad-foremo8t, and bore in the dirt : 
How they claw, and they wriggle, and burrow like moles ! 
Look, already they *re up to their waists in the holes ! 
How they darken the void with sand, pebbles, synd peat! ^ 
Now their 1<^ are but visible^— no^r buttheir feet— . f 
Now they 're *11 out bf sight— the exertion 's complete ! ^ 
Shall such sprigs of perfection as these be decried? 
Shall theyMx ci'vttatis to them be denied ? 
Though they're filthy In feat, and abhorrent, what then ? 
Can th« Senate display purer actioti^ ot tsSKblX 



^< 



232 A PIN-BASKET TO THE 



Yet perhaps in thus urging my spleen I am wrong ; 
Let mc rc-trcad my journey, and re-read my song : 
All these stripes may be right to excoriate our station. 
As we stink in the deed of our purification : 
'Tis wise that our system thus chequer'd should roll— 
A.sun-sliine eternal would sicken the soul. 
Though none grudge the Russ his spondHlum or toy. 
Yet they satiate his hunger, and square with his joy : 
Thus }ie *% blest though unwise, who can breathe, an 

ne'er winces. 
And they laugh 'neath their stars, while Regrret harrow 

Princes. 
Yet who 'U say it is this or 't is that is the best. 
When each, in his smile, makes the issue a test ? 
For tlie nerve that is mov'd from its tone of repose, 
Becomes pleasure or pain as the thought may suppose :- 
Hence the Evils and Transports change hands with eac 

other, 
And the bliss of one tribe is the bane of another. 



FINIS, 





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