Reminiscences of Scottish life and character

COLLEGE

OF THE PACIFIC

\

\

*r

REMINISCENCES.

THE KIRK COLLECTION

From a water-colour drawing by
HENRY IV. KERR,

R.S.W.

DEAN RAMSAY S
REMINISCENCES OF

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER

Ixa^Yv

V4

WITH

SIXTEEN ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOUR

FROM ORIGINAL WATER-COLOUR DRAWINGS
BY H. W. KERR.

CHICAGO :
A. C. McCLURG & CO.

EDINBURGH: T. N. FOULIS.
1908.

Printed in Great Britain.

Scollu/i

TNPoulis,

LONDON.

AUTHOR S COPYRIGHT EDITION.
Printed by arrangement with Messrs. Gall dc Inglis.

JAN 1 51916

5" 1

LIBRA R Y

CONTENTS.

PAGE

LlST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 1

PREFACE TO TWENTY-SECOND EDITION . . 1

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTORY ....... 7

CHAPTER II.

SCOTTISH RELIGIOUS FEELINGS AND OBSERVANCES 56

CHAPTER III.

ON OLD SCOTTISH CONVIVIALITY 101

CHAPTER IV.
ON THE OLD SCOTTISH DOMESTIC SERVANT . .127

CHAPTER V.
SCOTTISH JUDGES . 145

iv CONTENTS.

CHAPTER VI.

PAOR

ON HUMOUR PROCEEDING FROM SCOTTISH EXPRES
SIONS, INCLUDING SCOTTISH PROVERBS . .169

CHAPTER VII.
ON SCOTTISH STORIES OF WIT AND HUMOUR . .243

CONCLUSION , r , . . .351

INDEX #75

ILLUSTRATIONS

from paintings by
HENRY W. KERR, A.R.S.A., R.S.W.

THE KIRK COLLECTION .

THE PILLAR O 5 THE KIRK

A SCOTTISH BAPTISM

THE WEAVER S SHOP

THE WEAVER .

THE SHEPHERD

THE GRAVEDIGGER,

THE SNUFFER.

A QUID GANGIN 5 PLEA

A LOWLAND COTTAGE

THE MUTCH .

THE- BONNET LAIRD

THE BEADLE .

HIS DAY AT THE PLATE .

THE LAIRD S DAUGHTER,

THE READER .

PAG*

. frontispiece

. . 12

28

60

76

92

108

124

156

172

188

252

300

316

332

348

PREFACE

TO

TWENTY-SECOND EDITION.

IN preparing another duodecimo edition of the " Remi
niscences of Scottish Life and Character," I gladly
avail myself of the opportunity afforded me of repro
ducing some of the materials which had been added
to the octavo edition, especially that part at page
322, etc., which advocated a modified interchange of
pulpits between Episcopalian and Presbyterian clergy
men ; to add also some excellent Scottish stories
which had been sent to me by kind friends. I am
desirous also of repeating the correction of an error
into which we had fallen in copying the account of a
toast in the Highland form, which had been kindly
contributed by the respected minister of Moulin, in
the octavo edition at page 70. To Lowland concep
tions, the whole proceeding has somewhat the appear
ance of a respectable company at once becoming insane ;
still it ought to be correct, and the printer had, by
mistake, inserted a word that has no existence in the
Gaelic language. The text reads

" Lud ris 1 Lud ris ! You again ! you again ! "

2 PREFACE.

It should be

Sud ris ! Sud ris ! Yon again ! yon again I

that is " yon cheer again."

The demand for a twenty-second edition of a volume
of " Scottish Reminiscences " embracing subjects which
are necessarily of a limited and local character a
demand which has taken place during the course of
little more than fifteen years since its first publication
proves, I think, the correctness of the idea upon which
it was first undertaken viz. that it should depict a
phase of national manners which was fast passing
away, and thus, in however humble a department,
contribute something to the materials of history, by
exhibiting social customs and habits of thought which
at a particular era were characteristic of a race. It
may perhaps be very fairly said that the Reminiscences
came out at a time specially suitable to rescue these
features of national life and character from oblivion.
They had begun to fade away, and many had, to the
present generation, become obsolete.

To those who have not given their attention to the
subject for the elucidation of which this volume has
been written, I would present two specimens of the
sort of materials from which they may expect to find
these Reminiscences are compiled. They are chosen
to indicate a style of life and manners now fast fading
away, and are taken from a period which lies within
the scope of our own recollections. Now, a subject
like this can only be illustrated by a copious applica
tion of anecdotes which must show the features of the

PREFACE. 3

past. And let me premise that I make use of anec
dotes not for the purpose of telling a good story, but
solely in the way of illustration. I am quite certain
that there was an originality, a dry and humorous
mode of viewing persons and events, quite peculiar to
the older Scottish characters. And I am equally
certain, that their peculiar humour can only be exhi
bited in examples. From the late Mr. Erskine of
Linlathan I received the following : Mr. Erskine
recollected an old housekeeper at Airth, who belonged
to this class of character. A speech of this Mrs.
Henderson was preserved in the family as having
been made by her at the time of the execution of
Louis XYI. in 1793. She was noticing the violent
emotion exhibited by Mr. Bruce of Kinnaird, the
Abyssinian traveller, at the sad event which had just
taken place, and added, in the following quaint and
caustic terms, " There s Kinnaird greeting as if there
was nae a saunt on earth but himseF and the king o
France." How utterly unlike anything that would be
said on such an occasion by an English person in the
same position in life !

For the same purpose, let me introduce a charac
teristic little Scottish scene, which my cousin, the
late Sir Thomas Burnett of Leys, used to describe with
great humour. Sir Thomas had a tenant on his
estate, a very shrewd clever man, whom he was some
times in the habit of consulting about country matters.
On one occasion he came over to Crathes Castle, and
asked to see Sir Thomas. He was accordingly ushered
in, accompanied by a young man of very simple appear-

4 PllEFA CE.

ance, who gazed about the room in a stupid vacant
manner. The old man began by saying that he
understood there was a farm on the estate to be let,
and that he knew a very fine young man whom he
wished to recommend as tenant. He said he had
plenty of siller, and had studied farming on the most
approved principles sheep-farming in the Highlands,
cattle-farming in the Lowlands, and so forth, and, in
short, was a model farmer. When he had finished
his statement, Sir Thomas, looking very significantly
at his companion, addressed the old man (as he was
usually addressed in the county by the name of his
farm) " Well, Drummy, and is this your friend whom
you propose for the farm V 1 to which Drummy replied,
" Oh fie, na. Hout ! that is a kind o a Feel, a friend
(i.e. a relation) o the wife s, and I just brought him
ower wi me to show him the place."

The question of change in the " life and character
of a people, during the period embraced in the remi
niscences of an aged individual, must always be a
subject for deep and serious consideration. In the
case of Scotland, such changes comprise much that is
interesting and amusing. But they also contain much
matter for serious thought and reflection to the lovers
of their country. In preparing the present edition
of these Reminiscences, I have marked out many fur
ther changes, and have marked them from a deep
feeling of interest in the moral and religious improve
ment of my country. To my readers I say that I
hope we have all learned to view such changes under
a more serious national aspect than a mere question

PKEFACE. 5

of amusement or speculation. The Christian, when
he looks around him on society, must observe many
things which, as a patriot, he wishes might be perma
nent, and he marks many things which, as a patriot,
he wishes were obliterated. What he desires should
be enduring in his countrymen is, that abiding attri
butes of Scottish character should be associated
amongst all men with truth and virtue with honour
and kindly feelings with temperance and self-denial
with divine faith and love with generosity and
benevolence. On the other hand, he desires that
what may become questions of tradition, and, in regard
to his own land, REMINISCENCES of Scottish life, shall
be cowardice and folly, deceit and fraud, the low
and selfish motives to action which make men traitors
to their God and hateful to their fellow-men.

It would be worse than affectation it would be
ingratitude to disclaim being deeply impressed by
the favourable reception which has for so long a time
been given to these Reminiscences at home, in India,
in America, and in all countries where Scotchmen are
to be found.

It is not the least of the enjoyments which I have
had in compiling these pages, to hear of the kind
sympathy which they have called forth in other
minds, and often in the minds of strangers ; and it
would be difficult for me to describe the pleasure I
have received when told by a friend that this work
had cheered him in the hour of depression or of sick
ness that even for a few moments it may have be
guiled the weight of corroding care and worldly anxiety

a

6 PREFACE.

I have been desirous of saying a word in favour of
old Scottish life ; and with some minds, perhaps, the
book may have promoted a more kindly feeling to
wards hearts and heads of bygone days. And cer
tainly I can now truly say, that my highest reward
my greatest honour and gratification would spring
from the feeling that it might become a standard
volume in Scottish cottage libraries, and that by the
firesides of Scotland these pages might become as
Household Words.

EDINBURGH, 23 AINSLIB PLACE.
St. Andrew s Day.*

These words, "St. Andrew s Day," were deleted by the Dean; and
though he lived till the 27th December, he did not touch the proof-sheet*
after the 19th November 1872.

REMINISCENCES

OF

SCOTTISH LIFE AND CHARACTER.

CHAPTER THE FIRST.

INTRODUCTORY.

I WISH my readers always to bear in mind that these
Reminiscences are meant to bear upon the changes
which would include just such a revolution as that
referred to at page 15 in the bonnet practice of
Laurencekirk. There is no pretension to any re
searches of antiquarian character ; they are in fact
Reminiscences which come almost within personal
recognition. A kind friend gave me anecdotes of the
past in her hundredth year. In early life I was
myself consigned to the care of my granduncle, Sir
Alexander Ramsay, residing in Yorkshire, and he was
born in 1715 ; so that I can go pretty far back on my
own experience, and have thus become cognisant of
many changes which might be expected as a con
sequence of such experience.

I cannot imagine a better illustration of the sort of
change in the domestic relations of life that has
taken place in something like the time we speak of,
than is shown in the following anecdote, which was
kindly communicated to me by Professor MacGregor
of the Free Church. I have pleasure in giving it in

8 REMINISCENCES OF

the Professor s own words : "I happened one day
to be at Panmure Castle when Lord Panmure (now
Dalhousie) was giving a treat to a school, and was
presented by the Monikie Free Church Deacons
Court with a Bible on occasion of his having cleared
them finally of debt on their buildings. Afterwards
his Lordship took me into the library, where, among
other treasures, we found a handsome folio Prayer
Book presented to his ancestor Mr. Maule of Kelly by
the Episcopalian minister of the district, on occasion
of his having, by Mr. Maule s help, been brought out
of jail. The coincidence and contrast were curiously
interesting."

For persons to take at various intervals a retrospec
tive view of life, and of the characters they have met
with, seems to be a natural feeling of human nature ;
and every one is disposed at times to recall to memory
many circumstances and many individuals which
suggest abundant subjects for reflection. We thus
find recollections of scenes in which we have been
joyous and happy. We think of others with which
we only associate thoughts of sorrow and of sadness.
Amongst these varied emotions we find subjects for
reminiscences, of which we would bury the feelings in
our own hearts as being too sacred for communication
with others. Then, again, there are many things of
the past concerning which we delight to take counsel
with friends and contemporaries. Some persons are
disposed to go beyond these personal communications
with friends, and having through life been accustomed
to write down memoranda of their own feelings, have
published them to the world. Many interesting works
have thus been contributed to our literature by writers
who have sent forth volumes in the form of Memoirs
of their Own Times, Personal Recollections, Remarks upon

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 9

Past Scenes, etc. etc. It is not within the scope of this
work to examine these, nor can I specify the many
communications I have from different persons, both at-
home and in our colonial possessions ; in fact, the
references in many cases have been lost or mislaid.
But I must acknowledge, however briefly, my obliga
tions to Dr. Carruthers, Inverness, and to Dr. Cook,
Haddington, who have favoured me with valuable
contributions.

Now, when we come to examine the general question
of memoirs connected with contemporary history, no
work is better known in connection with this depart
ment of Scottish literature than the History of his Own
Times, by my distinguished relative, Dr. Gilbert
Burnett, Bishop of Salisbury. Bishop Burnett s father,
Lord Crimond, was third son of my father s family,
the Burnetts of Leys, in Kincardineshire. There is
now at Crathes Castle, the family seat, a magnificent
full-length portrait of the Bishop in his robes, as
Prelate of the Garter, by Sir Godfrey Kneller. It
was presented by himself to the head of his family.
But, as one great object of the Bishop s history was to
laud and magnify the personal character and public
acts of William of Orange, his friend and patron, and
as William was held in special abhorrence by the
Jacobite party in Scotland, the Bishop holds a
prominent, and, with many, a very odious position in
Scottish Reminiscences ; in fact, he drew upon himself
and upon his memory the determined hatred and
unrelenting hostility of adherents to the Stuart cause.
They never failed to abuse him on all occasions, and I
recollect old ladies in Montrose, devoted to the exiled
Prince, with whom the epithet usually applied to the
Prelate was that of " LeehV Gibby." *

* Lying Gilbert.

10 REMINISCENdF.fH OF

Such language has happily become a "Reminis
cence." Few would be found now to apply such an
epithet to the author of the History of his Own Times,
and certainly it would not be applied on the ground of
the Jacobite principles to which he was opposed.
But a curious additional proof of this hostility of
Scottish Jacobites to the memory of Burnett has lately
come to light. In a box of political papers lately
found at Brechin Castle, belonging to the Panmure
branch of the family, who, in 15, were forfeited on
the ground of their Jacobite opinions and adherence
to the cause of Charles Edward, there has been found
a severe and bitter supposed epitaph for Bishop Burnett.
By the kindness of the Earl of Dalhousie I was per
mitted to see this epitaph, and, if I chose, to print it
in this edition. I am, however, unwilling to stain my
pages with such an ungenerous and, indeed, I may say,
so scurrilous a representation of the character of one
who, in the just opinion of our Lyon King-at-Arms,
himself a Burnett of the Kemnay branch, has charac
terised the Bishop of Salisbury as " true and honest,
and far beyond the standard of his times as a Clergy
man and as a Bishop." But the epitaph found in
these Panmure papers shows clearly the prejudices of
the age in which it was written, and in fact only em
bodies something of that spirit and of those opinions
which we have known as still lingering in our own
Reminiscences.

If it were not on my part a degree of presumption,
I might be inclined to consider myself in this volume
a fellow-labourer with the late accomplished and
able Mr. Robert Chambers. In a very limited sphere
it takes a portion of the same field of illustration. I
should consider myself to have done well if I shall
direct any of my readers to his able volumes. Who-

SCOTTISH LIFE <fe CHARACTER. 11

soever wishes to know what this country really was in
times past, and to learn, with a precision beyond
what is supplied by the narratives of history, the
details of the ordinary current of our social, civil, and
national life, must carefully study the Domestic Annals
of Scotland. Never before were a nation s domestic
features so thoroughly portrayed. Of those features
the specimens of quaint Scottish humour still remem
bered are unlike anything else, but they are fast
becoming obsolete, and my motive for this publication
has been an endeavour to preserve marks of the past
which would of themselves soon become obliterated,
and to supply the rising generation with pictures of
social life, faded and indistinct to their eyes, but the
strong lines of which an older race still remember.
By thus coming forward at a favourable moment, no
doubt many beautiful specimens of SCOTTISH MIN
STRELSY have in this manner been preserved from
oblivion by the timely exertions of Bishop Percy,
Ritson, Walter Scott, and others. Lord Macaulay, in
his preface to The Lays of Ancient Rome, shows very
powerfully the tendency in all that lingers in the
memory to become obsolete, and he does not hesitate to
say that " Sir Walter Scott was but just in time to save
the precious relics of the minstrelsy of the Border."

It is quite evident that those who have in Scotland
come to an advanced age, must have found some
things to have been really changed about them, and
that on them great alterations have already taken
place. There are some, however, which yet may be
in a transition state ; and others in which, although
changes are threatened, still it cannot be said that
the changes are begun. I have been led to a con
sideration of impending alterations as likely to take
place, by the recent appearance of two very remarkable

12 REMINISCENCES OF

and very interesting papers on subjects closely con
nected with great social Scottish questions, where a
revolution of opinion may be expected. These are two
articles in Recess Studies (1870), a volume edited by our
distinguished Principal, Sir Alexander Grant. One
essay is by Sir Alexander himself, upon the " Endowed
Hospitals of Scotland ;" the other by the Eev. Dr.
Wallace of the Greyfriars, upon " Church Tendencies
in Scotland." It would be quite irrelevant for me to
enlarge here upon the merits of those articles. No
one could study them attentively without being
impressed with the ability and power displayed in
them by the authors, their grasp of the subjects, and
their fair impartial judgment upon the various
questions which come under their notice.

From these able disquisitions, and from other prog
nostics, it is quite evident that sounder principles of
political economy and accurate experience of human
life show that much of the old Scottish hospital system
was quite wrong and must be changed. Changes are
certainly going on, which seem to indicate that the very
hard Presbyterian views of some points connected
with Church matters are in transition. I have
elsewhere spoken of a past Sabbatarian strictness,
and I have lately received an account of a strictness
in observing the national fast-day, or day appointed
for preparation in celebrating Holy Communion, which
has in some measure passed away. The anecdote
adduced the example of two drovers who were going
on very quietly together. They had to pass through
a district whereof one was a parishioner, and during
their progress through it the one whistled with all
his might, the other screwed up his mouth without
emitting a single sound. When they came to a burn,
the silent one, on then crossing the stream, gave

THE PILLAR O THE KIRK

From a water-colour drawing, by

HENRY \V. KERR,
A.R.S.A., K.S.ir.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 13

a skip, and began whistling with all his might, ex
claiming with great triumph to his companion, " I m
beyond the parish of Forfar now, and I ll whistle as
muckle as I like." It happened to be the Forfar
parish fast-day. But a still stricter observance was
shown by a native of Kirkcaldy, who, when asked by
his companion drover in the south of Scotland " why he
didna whistle," quietly answered, " I canna, man ; it s
our fast-day in Kirkcaldy." I have an instance of a
very grim assertion of extreme Sabbatarian zeal. A
maid-servant had come to a new place, and on her
mistress quietly asking her on Sunday evening to wash
up some dishes, she indignantly replied, " Mem, I hae
dune mony sins, and hae mony sins to answer for; but,
thank God, I hae never been sae far left to mysell as
to wash up dishes on the Sabbath day."

I hope it will not for a moment be supposed we
would willingly throw any ridicule or discouragement
on the Scottish national tendencies on the subject, or
that we are not proud of Scotland s example of a
sacred observance of the fourth commandment in the
letter and the spirit. We refer now to injudicious ex
tremes, such, indeed, as our Lord condemned, and
which seem a fair subject for notice amongst Scottish
peculiarities. But the philosophy of the question is
curious. Scotland has ever made her boast of the
simplest form of worship, and a worship free from
ceremonial, more even than the Church of England,
which is received as, in doctrine and ritual, the
Church of the Reformation. In some respects, therefore,
may you truly say the only standing recognised obser
vance in the ceremonial part of Presbyterian worship
is the Sabbath day an observance which has been
pushed in times past even beyond the extreme of a
spirit of Judaism, as if the sabbatical ceremonial

14 REMINISCENCES OF

were made a substitute for all other ceremony. Pn
this, as well as in other matters which we have pointed
out, what changes have taken place, what changes
are going on ! It may be difficult to assign precise
causes for such changes having taken place among us,
and that during the life-time of individuals now living
to remember them. It has been a period for many
changes in manners, habits, and forms of language,
such as we have endeavoured to mark in this volume.
The fact of such changes is indisputable, and some
times it is difficult not only to assign the causes for
them, but even to describe in what the changes them
selves consist. They are gradual, and almost impercep
tible. Scottish people lose their Scotchness ; they leave
home, and return without those expressions and intona
tions, and even peculiarity of voice and manner, which
used to distinguish us from Southern neighbours. In
all this, I fear, we lose our originality. It has not
passed away, but with every generation becomes less
like the real type.

I would introduce here a specimen of the precise
sort of changes to which I would refer, as an example
of the reminiscences intended to be introduced into
these pages. We have in earlier editions given an
account of the pains taken by Lord Gardenstone to
extend and improve his rising village of Laurencekirk ;
amongst other devices he had brought down, as settlers,
a variety of artificers and workmen from England.
With these he had introduced a hatter from New
castle ; but on taking him to church next day after
his arrival, the poor man saw that he might decamp
without loss of time, as he could not expect much
success in his calling at Laurencekirk ; in fact, he
found Lord Gardenstone s and his own the only hats
in the kirk the men all wore then the flat Lowland

SCOTTISH LIFE CHARACTER. 15

bonnet. But how quickly times change ! My excel
lent friend, Mr. Gibbon of Johnstone, Lord Garden-
stone s own place, which is near Laurencekirk, tells
me that at the present time one solitary Lowland
bonnet lingers in the parish.

Hats are said to have been first brought into
Inverness by Duncan Forbes of Culloden, the Lord
President, who died in 1747. Forbes is reported to
have presented the provost and bailies with cocked
hats, which they wore only on Sundays and council
days. About 1760 a certain Deacon Young began
daily to wear a hat, and the country people crowding
round him, the Deacon used humorously to say,
" What do you see about me, sirs ? am I not a mortal
man like yourselves 1 The broad blue bonnets I
speak of long continued to be worn in the Highland
capital, and are still occasionally to be seen there,
though generally superseded by the Glengarry bonnet
and ordinary hat. It is a minor change, but a very
decided one.

The changes which have taken place, and which
give rise to such " Reminiscences," are very numerous,
and meet us at every turn in society. Take, for
example, the case of our Highland chieftains. We
may still retain the appellation, and talk of the chiefs
of Clanranald, of Glengarry, etc. But how different
is a chieftain of the present day, even from some of
those of whom Sir Walter Scott wrote as existing so
late as 1715 or 1745! Dr. Gregory (of immortal
mixture memory) used to tell a story of an old High
land chieftain, intended to show how such Celtic
potentates were, even in his day, still inclined to hold
themselves superior to all the usual considerations
which affected ordinary mortals. The doctor, after
due examination, had, in his usual decided and blunt

16 REMINISCENCES OF

manner, pronounced the liver of a Highlander to be
at fault, and to be the cause of his ill-health. His patient,
who could not but consider this as taking a great liberty
with a Highland chieftain, roared out " And what
the devil is it to you whether I have a liver or not ? "
But there is the case of dignity in Lowland Lairds as
well as clan-headship in Highland Chiefs. In proof
of this, I need only point to a practice still lingering
amongst us of calling landed proprietors, not as Mr.
So-and-so, but by the names of their estates. I re
collect, in my early days, a number of our proprietors
were always so designated. Thus, it was not as Mr.
Carnegie, Mr. Douglas, Mr. Irvine, etc., but as Craigo,
Till wh illy, Drum, etc.

An amusing application of such a territorial denomi
native system to the locality of London was narrated
to me by a friend who witnessed it. A Scottish
gentleman, who had never been in the metropolis,
arrived fresh from the Highlands, and met a small
party at the house of a London friend. A person
was present of most agreeable manners, who delighted
the Scotsman exceedingly. He heard the company
frequently referring to this gentleman s residence in
Piccadilly, to his house in Piccadilly, and so on.
When addressed by the gentleman, he commenced his
reply, anxious to pay him all due respect " Indeed,
Piccadilly," etc. He supposed Piccadilly must be his
own territorial locality. Another instance of mistake,
arising out of Scottish ignorance of London ways, was
made by a North Briton on his first visit to the great
city. He arrived at a hotel in Fleet Street, where
many of the country coaches then put -up. On the
following morning he supposed that such a crowd as
he encountered could only proceed from some " occa
sion," and must pass off in due time. Accordingly, a

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 17

friend from Scotland found him standing in a door
way, as if waiting for some one. His countryman
asked him what made him stand there. To which
he answered " Ou, I was just stan ing till the kirk
had scaled." The ordinary appearance of his native
borough made the crowd of Fleet Street suggest to
him the idea of a church crowd passing out to their
several homes, called in Scotland a " kirk scaling."
A London street object called forth a similar simple
remark from a Scotsman. He had come to London
on his way to India, and for a few days had time to
amuse himself by sight-seeing before his departure.
He had been much struck with the appearance of the
mounted sentinels at the Horse Guards, Whitehall,
and bore them in remembrance during his Eastern
sojourn. On his return, after a period of thirty
years, on passing the Horse Guards, he looked up to
one, and seeing him, as he thought, unchanged as to
horse, position, and accoutrements, he exclaimed
" Od, freend, ye hae had a lang spell on t sin I left/
supposing him to be the identical sentinel he had seen
before he sailed.

It is interesting to preserve national peculiarities
which are thus passing away from us. One great
pleasure I have had in their collection, and that is
the numerous and sympathetic communications I have
received from Scotsmen, I may literally say from
Scotsmen in all quarters of the world; sometimes
communicating very good examples of Scottish hu
mour, and always expressing their great pleasure in
reading, when in distant lands and foreign scenes,
anecdotes which reminded them of Scotland, and of
their ain days of " auld langsyne."

There is no mistaking the national attachment so
strong in the Scottish character. Men return aftyr

13 REMINISCENCES OP

long absence, in this respect, unchanged ; whilst ab
sent, Scotsmen never forget their Scottish home. In
all tnrieties of lands and climates their hearts ever
turn towards the " land o cakes and brither Scots."
Scottish festivals are kept with Scottish feeling on
"Greenland s icy mountains or "India s coral
strand." I received an amusing account of an ebul
lition of this patriotic feeling from my late noble
friend the Marquis of Lothian, who met with it when
travelling in India. He happened to arrive at a sta
tion upon the eve of St. Andrew s Day, and received
an invitation to join a Scottish dinner party in com
memoration of old Scotland. There was a great deal
of Scottish enthusiasm. There were seven sheep-
heads (singed) down the table ; and Lord Lothian
told me that after dinner he sang with great applause
" The Laird o Cockpen."

Another anecdote arising out of Scotsmen meet
ing in distant lands, is rather of a more serious
character, and used to be told with exquisite humour
by the late lamented Dr. Norman Macleod. A settler
in Australia, who for a long time had heard nothing
of his Scottish kith and kin, was delighted at the
arrival of a countryman direct from his own part
of the country. When he met with him, the fol
lowing conversation took place between them : Q.
" Ye ken my fouk, friend ; can ye tell me gin my
faather s alive V 9 A. 11 Hout, na; he s deed." Q.
" Deed ! What did he dee o ? was it fever V 9 A.
" Na, it wasna fever." Q. " Was it cholera 1 " A.

Na." The question being pressed, the stranger
drily said, " Sheep," and then he accompanied the
ominous word by delicately and significantly pointing
to the jugular under his ear. The man had been
hanged for sheep stealing !

SCOTTISH LIFE d CHARACTER. 19

It must always be amusing for Scotsmen to meet
in distant lands, and there to play off on each other
the same dry, quaint humour which delighted them
in their native land, and in their early days at home.
An illustration of this remark has been communi
cated by a kind correspondent at Glasgow. Mrs.
Hume, a true Scot, sends me the following dialogue,
accompanied by a very clever etching of the parties,
from the Melbourne Punch, August 17, 1871, headed
" Too Poor, Night of Waverley Concert. 11

Southron. You here, Mac ! you ought to have been
at the concert, you know. Aren t you one of the
4 Scots wha hae ]

Mac. Indeed no. I m ane o the Scots wha hae
na, or I wadna be here the nicht.

He would not have stayed at home if he had been one
of the " Scots wha hae."

I am assured that the genuineness of the following
anecdote is unquestionable, as my informant received
it from the person to whom it occurred. A popular
Anglican Nonconformist minister was residing with
a family in Glasgow while on a visit to that city,
whither he had gone on a deputation from the Wes-
leyan Missionary Society. After dinner, in reply to
an invitation to partake of some fine fruit, he men
tioned to the family a curious circumstance concerning
himself viz. that he had never in his life tasted
an apple, pear, grape, or indeed any kind of green
fruit. This fact seemed to evoke considerable sur
prise from the company, but a cautious Scotsman,
of a practical, matter-of-fact turn of mind, who had
listened with much unconcern, drily remarked, " It s
a peety but ye had been in Paradise, and there micht
ua hae been ony faa." I have spoken elsewhere of the
cool matter-of-fact manner in which the awful ques-

JO REMINISCENCES 0#

tions connected with the funerals of friends are often
approached by Scottish people, without the least in
tention or purpose of being irreverent or unfeeling.
By the kindness of Mr. Lyon, I am enabled to give
an authentic anecdote of a curious character, illustra
tive of this habit of mind, and I cannot do better
than give it in his own words : " An old tenant of
my late father, George Lyon of Wester Ogil, many
years ago, when on his deathbed, and his end near at
hand, his wife thus addressed him : Willie, Willie,
as lang as ye can speak, tell us are ye for your burial-
baps round or square 1 Willie having responded to
this inquiry, was next asked if the murners were to
have glooes (gloves) or mittens, the former being ar
ticles with fingers, the latter having only a thumb-
piece ; and Willie, having also answered this question,
was allowed to depart in peace."

There could not be a better example of this
familiar handling, without meaning offence, than one
which has just been sent to me by a kind corres
pondent. I give her own words. " Happening to
call on a poor neighbour, I asked after the children
of a person who lived close by. She replied, " They re
no hame yet ; gaed awa to the English kirk to get a
clap o the held. It was the day of confirmation for
St. Paul s. This definition of the * outward and
visible sign would look rather odd in the catechism.
But the poor woman said it from no disrespect \ it
was merely her way of answering my question." But
remarks on serious subjects often go to deeper views
of religious matters than might be expected from the
position of the parties and the terms made use of.

Of the wise and shrewd judgment of the Scottish
character, as bearing upon religious pretensions, 1
have an apt example from my friend Dr. Norman

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 21

Macleod. During one of the late revivals in Scot
land, a small farmer went about preaching with much
fluency and zeal the doctrine of a " full assurance
of faith, and expressed his belief of it for himself in
such extravagant terms as few men would venture
upon who were humble and cautious against presump
tion. The "preacher," being personally rather re
markable as a man of greedy and selfish views in
life, excited some suspicion in the breast of an old
sagacious countryman, a neighbour of Dr. Macleod,
who asked him what he thought of John as a preacher,
and of his doctrine. Scratching his head, as if in
some doubt, he replied, " I m no verra sure o Jock. I
never ken t a man sae sure o Heaven, and sae sweert to
be gaing tae t" He showed his sagacity, for John
was soon after in prison for theft.

Another story gives a good idea of the Scottish
matter-of-fact view of things being brought to bear
upon a religious question without meaning to be pro
fane or irreverent. Dr. Macleod was on a Highland
loch when a storm came on which threatened serious
consequences. The doctor, a large powerful man,
was accompanied by a clerical friend of diminutive
size and small appearance, who began to speak
seriously to the boatmen of their danger, and proposed
that all present should join in prayer. " Na, na," said
the chief boatman ; " let the little ane gang to pray,
but first the big ane maun tak an oar." Illustrative
of the same spirit was the reply of a Scotsman of
the genuine old school, "Boatie" of Deeside, of
whom I have more to say, to a relative of mine. He
had been nearly lost in a squall, and saved after great
exertion, and was told by my aunt that he should be
grateful to providence for his safety. The man, not

meaning to be at all ungrateful, but viewing his pre-

i

22 REMINISCENCES OF

serration in the purely hard matter-of-fact light,
quietly answered, " Weel, weel, Mrs. Eussell ; Pro
vidence here or Providence there, an I hadna worked
sair my sell I had been drouned."

Old Mr. Downie, the parish minister of Banchory,
was noted, in my earliest days, for his quiet pithy
remarks on men and things, as they came before him.
His reply to his son, of whose social position he had
no very exalted opinion, was of this class. Young
Downie had come to visit his father from the West
Indies, and told him that on his return he was to be
married to a lady whose high qualities and position
he spoke of in extravagant terms. He assured his
father that she was " quite young, was very rich, and
very beautiful." " Aweel, Jemmy," said the old man,
very quietly and very slily, " I m thinking there maun
be some faut" Of the dry sarcasm we have a good
example in the quiet utterance of a good Scottish
phrase by an elder of a Free Kirk lately formed. The
minister was an eloquent man, and had attracted one
of the town-council, who, it was known, hardly ever
entered the door of a church, and now came on
motives of curiosity. He was talking very grand to
some of the congregation : " Upon my word, your
minister is a very eloquent man. Indeed, he wil?.
quite convert me." One of the elders, taking the word
in a higher sense than the speaker intended, quietly
replied, " Indeed, Bailie, there s muckle med"

A kind correspondent sends me an illustration of
this quaint matter-of-fact view of a question as affect
ing the sentiments or the feelings. He tells me he
knew an old lady who was a stout large woman, and
who with this state of body had many ailments,
which she bore cheerfully and patiently. When asked
one day by a friend, " How she was keeping," she re-

SCOTTISH LIFE <fe CHAR ACT EM. 23

plied, " Ou, just middling ; there s ower muckle o 1
to be a weel at ae time." No Englishwoman would
have given such an answer. The same class of cha
racter is very strongly marked in a story which was
told by Mr. Thomas Constable, who has a keen
appreciation of a good Scottish story, and tells it
inimitably. He used to visit an old lady who was
much attenuated by long illness, and on going up
stairs one tremendously hot afternoon, the daughter
was driving away the flies, which were very trouble
some, and was saying, " Thae flies will eat up a that
remains o my puir mither." The old lady opened
her eyes, and the last words she spoke were, " What s
left o me s guid eneuch for them."

The spirit of caution and wariness by which the
Scottish character is supposed to be distinguished has
given rise to many of these national anecdotes.

Certainly this cautious spirit thus pervaded the
opinions of the Scottish architect who was called
upon to erect a building in England upon the long-
lease system, so common with Anglican proprietors,
but quite new to our Scottish friend. When he
found the proposal was to build upon the tenure
of 999 years, he quietly suggested, " Culd ye no mak
it a thousand ? 999 years 11 be slippin awa ."

But of all the cautious and careful answers we ever
heard of was one given by a carpenter to an old lady
in Glasgow, for whom he was working, and the anec
dote is well authenticated. She had offered him a
dram, and asked him whether he would have it then
or wait till his work was done " Indeed, mem," he
said, " there s been sic a power o sudden deaths
lately that I ll just tak it now." He would guard
against contingency and secure his dram.

The following is a good specimen of the same

24 REMINISCENCES OF

humour: A minister had been preaching against
covetousness and the love of money, and had
frequently repeated how " love of money was the root
of all evil." Two old bodies walking home from
church one said, " An wasna the minister strang
upo the money?" " Nae doubt," said the other, rather
hesitatingly ; and added, " ay, but it s grand to hae
the wee bit siller in your haund when ye gang an
errand."

I have still another specimen of this national, cool,
and deliberative view of a question, which seems cha
racteristic of the temperament of our good countrymen.
Some time back, when it was not uncommon for
challenges to be given and accepted for insults, or
supposed insults, an English gentleman was entertain
ing a party at Inverness with an account of the
wonders he had seen and the deeds he had performed
in India, from whence he had lately arrived. He
enlarged particularly upon the size of the tigers he
had met with at different times in his travels, and by
way of corroborating his statements, assured the com
pany that he had shot one himself considerably above
forty feet long. A Scottish gentleman present, who
thought that these narratives rather exceeded a
traveller s allowed privileges, coolly said that no doubt
those were very remarkable tigers ; but that he could
assure the gentleman there were in that northern
part of the country some wonderful animals, and, as
an example, he cited the existence of a skate-fish
captured off Thurso, which exceeded half-an-acre in
extent. The Englishman saw this was intended as a
sarcasm against his own story, so he left the room in
indignation, and sent his friend, according to the old
plan, to demand satisfaction or an apology from the
gentleman, who had, he thought, insulted him. The

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 25

narrator of the skate story coolly replied, " Weel, sir,
gin yer freend will tak a few feet aff the length o his
tiger, we ll see what can be dune about the breadth o
the skate." He was too cautious to commit himself
to a rash or decided course of conduct. When the
tiger was shortened, he would take into consideration
a reduction of superficial area in his skate.

A kind correspondent has sent me about as good a
specimen of dry Scottish quiet humour as I know.
A certain Aberdeenshire laird, who kept a very good
poultry-yard, could not command a fresh egg for his
breakfast, and felt much aggrieved by the want. One
day, however, he met his grieve s wife with a nice
basket, and very suspiciously going towards the mar
ket ; on passing and speaking a word, he was enabled
to discover that her basket was full of beautiful white
eggs. Next time he talked with his grieve, he said
to him, "James, I like you very well, and I think
you serve me faithfully, but I cannot say I admire
your wife." To which the cool reply was, " Oh,
deed, sir, I m no surprised at that, for I dinna
muckle admire her mysel ."

An answer very much resembling this, and as much
to the point, was that of a gudewife on Deeside,
whose daughter had just been married and had left
her for her new home. A lady asked the mother very
kindly about her daughter, and said she hoped she
liked her new home and new relations. " Ou, my lady,
she likes the parish weel eneuch, but she doesna think
muckle o her man !

The natives of Aberdeenshire are distinguished for
the two qualities of being very acute in their remarks
and very peculiar in their language. Any one may
still gain a thorough knowledge of Aberdeen dialect
and see capital examples of Aberdeen humour. I

26 REMINISCENCES OF

have been supplied with a remarkable example of this
combination of Aberdeen shrewdness with Aberdeen
dialect. In the course of the week after the Sunday
on which several elders of an Aberdeen parish had
been set apart for parochial offices, a knot of the par
ishioners had assembled at what was in all parishes a
great place of resort for idle gossiping the siniddy
or blacksmith s workshop. The qualifications of the
new elders were severely criticised. One of the speak
ers emphatically laid down that the minister should
not have been satisfied, and had in fact made a most
unfortunate choice. He was thus answered by an
other parish oracle perhaps the schoolmaster, perhaps
a weaver: "Fat better culd the man dee nir he s
dune? he bud tae big s dyke wi the feal at fit o t."
He meant there was no choice of material he could
only take what offered.

By the kindness of Dr. Begg, I have a most
amusing anecdote to illustrate how deeply long-tried
associations were mixed up with the habits of life in
the older generation. A junior minister having to
assist at a church in a remote part of Aberdeenshire,
the parochial minister (one of the old school) promised
his young friend a good glass of whisky-toddy after
all was over, adding slily and very significantly,
" and gude smuggled whusky." His Southron guest
thought it incumbent to say, " Ah, minister, that s
wrong, is it not ? you know it is contrary to Act of
Parliament." The old Aberdonian could not so easily
give up his fine whisky to what he considered an
unjust interference ; so he quietly said, " Oh, Acts
o Parliament lose their breath before they get to
Aberdeenshire."

There is something very amusing in the idea of
\yhat may be called the " fitness of things," in regard

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 27

to snuff-taking, which occurred to an honest Highlander,
a genuine lover of sneeshin. At the door of the Blair-
Athole Hotel he observed standing a magnificent
man in full tartans, and noticed with much admiration
the wide dimensions of his nostrils in a fine upturned
nose. He accosted him, and, as his most compliment
ary act, offered him his mull for a pinch. The
stranger drew up, and rather haughtily said : " I
never take snuff." " Oh," said the other, " that s a
peety, for there s grand accommodation !

I don t know a better example of the sly sarcasm
than the following answer of a Scottish servant to the
violent command of his enraged master. A well-
known coarse and abusive Scottish law functionary,
when driving out of his grounds, was shaken by his
carriage coming in contact with a large stone at the
gate. He was very angry, and ordered the gatekeeper
to have it removed before his return. On driving
home, however, he encountered another severe shock
by the wheels coming in contact with the very same
stone, which remained in the very same place. Still
more irritated than before, in his usual coarse language
he called the gatekeeper, and roared out : " You
rascal, if you don t send that beastly stone to h ,
I ll break your head." " Well," said the man quietly,
and as if he had received an order which he had to
execute, and without meaning anything irreverent,
" aiblins gin it were sent to heevan it wad be mair
out o your Lordship* s way"

I think about as cool a Scottish " aside" as I know,
was that of the old dealer who, when exhorting his

* This anecdote has been illustrated, as taken from these pages,
by a very clever sketch of the Highlander and his admirer, in a
curious publication at Liverpool called TJie Tobacco Plant, and
devoted to the interests of smoking and snuffing.

28 ZEMINISCENCSS OF

son to practise honesty in his dealings, on the ground
of its being the " best policy," quietly added, " / hae
tried baith"

In this work frequent mention is made of a class
of old ladies, generally residing in small towns, who
retained till within the memory of many now living
the special characteristics I have referred to. Owing
to local connection, I have brought forward those
chiefly who lived in Montrose and the neighbour
hood. But the race is extinct ; you might as well
look for hoops and farthingales in society as for
such characters now. You can scarcely imagine an
old lady, however quaint, now making use of some
of the expressions recorded in the text, or saying,
for the purpose of breaking up a party of which
she was tired, from holding bad cards, " We ll stop
now, bairns ; I m no enterteened ; " or urging
more haste in going to church on the plea, " Come
awa, or I ll be ower late for the 4 wicked man*
her mode of expressing the commencement of
the service.

Nothing could better illustrate the quiet pawky
style for which our countrymen have been distin
guished, than the old story of the piper and the
wolves. A Scottish piper was passing through a
deep forest. In the evening he sat down to take his
supper. He had hardly begun, when a number of
hungry wolves, prowling about for food, collected
round him. In self-defence, the poor man began to
throw pieces of his victuals to them, which they greedily
devoured. When he had disposed of all, in a fit of
despair he took his pipes and began to play. The
unusual sound terrified the wolves, which, one and all,
took to their heels and scampered off in every direction :
on observing which, Sandy quietly remarked, " Od, ao

A SCOTTISH BAPTISM

Front a water-colour drawing by

HEXRV IV. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.U .

I

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 29

I d kenned ye liket the pipes sae weel, I d a gien ye
a spring afore supper."

This imperturbable mode of looking at the events
of life is illustrated by perhaps the most cautious
answer on record, of the Scotsman who, being asked
if he could play the fiddle, warily answered, "He
couldna say, for he had never tried." But take othei
cases. For example : One tremendously hot day,
during the old stage-coach system, I was going down
to Portobello, when the coachman drew up to take in
a gentleman who had hailed him on the road. He
was evidently an Englishman a fat man, and in a
perfect state of " thaw and dissolution " from the heat
and dust. He wiped himself, and exclaimed, as a
remark addressed to the company generally, " D d
hot it is." No one said anything for a time, till a
man in the corner slily remarked, " I dinna doubt, sir,
but it may." The cautiousness against committing
himself unreservedly to any proposition, however
plausible, was quite delicious.

A more determined objection to giving a categorical
answer occurred, as I have been assured, in regard to
a more profound question. A party travelling on a
railway got into deep discussion on theological ques
tions. Like Milton s spirits in Pandemonium, they
had

" Reason d high

Of providence, fore -knowledge, will, and fate
Fix d fate, free-will, fore-knowledge absolute ;
And found no end, in wand ring mazes lost."

A plain Scotsman present seemed much interested
in these matters, and having expressed himself as not
satisfied with the explanations which had been elicited
in the course of discussion on a particular point

80 REMINISCENCES 0?

regarding predestination, one of the party said to him
that he had observed a minister, whom they all knew,
in the adjoining compartment, and that when the
train stopped at the next station a few minutes, he
could go and ask his opinion. The good man accord
ingly availed himself of the opportunity to get hold
of the minister, and lay their difficulty before him.
He returned in time to resume his own place, and
when they had started again, the gentleman who had
advised him, finding him not much disposed to volun
tary communication, asked if he had seen the minister.
" ay," he said, " he had seen him." "And did you
propose the question to him ? "0 ay." " And
what did he say 1 " Oh, he just said he didna ken ;
and what was mair he didna care !

I have received the four following admirable anec
dotes, illustrative of dry Scottish pawky humour, from
an esteemed minister of the Scottish Church, the Eev.
W. Mearns of Kinneff. I now record them nearly in
the same words as his own kind communication. The
anecdotes are as follow : An aged minister of the
old school, Mr. Patrick Stewart, one Sunday took to
the pulpit a sermon without observing that the first
leaf or two were so worn and eaten away that he
couldn t decipher or announce the text. He was not
a man, however, to be embarrassed or taken aback by
a matter of this sort, but at once intimated the state
of matters to the congregation, "My brethren, I
canna tell ye the text, for the mice hae eaten it ; but
we ll just begin whaur the mice left aff, and when I
come to it I ll let you ken."

In the year 1843, shortly after the Disruption, a
parish minister had left the manse and removed to
about a mile s distance. His pony got loose one day,
and galloped down the road in the direction of the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER 81

old glebe. The minister s man in charge ran after
the pony in a great fuss, and when passing a large
farm-steading on the way, cried out to the farmer,
who was sauntering about, but did not know what
had taken place " Oh, sir, did ye see the minister s
shault?" " No, no," was the answer, "but what s
happened 1" u Ou, sir, fat do ye think ] the minister s
shault s got lowse frae his tether, an* I rn frichtened
he s ta en the road doun to the auld glebe." " Weel-
a-wicht ! " was the shrewd clever rejoinder of the
farmer, who was a keen supporter of the old parish
church, " I wad na wonder at that. An I se warrant,
gin the minister was gettin loivse frae his tether, he
wad jist tak the same road."

An old clerical friend upon Speyside, a confirmed
bachelor, on going up to the pulpit one Sunday to
preach, found, after giving out the psalm, that he
had forgotten his sermon. I do not know what his
objections were to his leaving the pulpit, and going
to the manse for his sermon, but he preferred sending
his old confidential housekeeper for it. He accord
ingly stood up in the pulpit, stopped the singing
which had commenced, and thus accosted his faithful
domestic : " Annie ; I say, Annie, we ve committed a
mistak the day. Ye maun jist gang your waa s hame,
and ye ll get my sermon oot o my breek-pouch, an
we ll sing to the praise o the Lord till ye come back
again." Annie, of course, at once executed her im
portant mission, and brought the sermon out of " the
breek-pouch," and the service, so far as we heard,
was completed without further interruption.

My dear friend, the late Kev. Dr. John Hunter, told
me an anecdote very characteristic of the unimaginative
matter-of-fact Scottish view of matters. One of the
ministers of Edinburgh, a man of dry humour, had a

ESMINISCENCES OF

daughter who had for some time passed the period of
youth and of beauty. She had become an Episco
palian, an event which the Doctor accepted with much
good-nature, and he was asking her one day if she
did not intend to be confirmed. " Well," she said,
"I don t know. I understand Mr. Craig always
kisses the candidates whom he prepares, and I could
not stand that." " Indeed, Jeanie," said the Doctor
slily, " gin Edward Craig were to gie ye a kiss, I dinna
think ye would be muckle the waur."

Many anecdotes characteristic of the Scottish
peasant often turn upon words and ideas connected
with Holy Scripture. This is not to be considered as
in any sense profane or irreverent ; but it arises from
the Bible being to the peasantry of an older genera
tion their library their only book. We have con
stant indications of this almost exclusive familiarity
with Scripture ideas. At the late ceremonial in the
north, when the Archbishop of Canterbury laid the
foundation of a Bishop s Church at Inverness, a number
of persons, amid the general interest and kindly feeling
displayed by the inhabitants, were viewing the pro
cession from a hill as it passed along. When the
clergy, to the number of sixty, came on, an old
woman, who was watching the whole scene with
some jealousy, exclaimed, at sight of the surplices,
" There they go, the whited sepulchres ! " I received
another anecdote illustrative of the same remark from
an esteemed minister of the Free Church : I mean of
the hold which Scripture expressions have upon the
minds of our Scottish peasantry. One of his flock was
a sick nervous woman, who hardly ever left the
house. But one fine afternoon, when she was left
alone, she fancied she would like to get a little air in
the field adjoining the house. Accordingly she put

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 33

on a bonnet and wrapped herself in a huge red shawl.
Creeping along the dyke-side, some cattle were
attracted towards her, and first one and then another
gathered round, and she took shelter in the ditch till
she was relieved by some one coming up to her
rescue. She afterwards described her feelings to her
minister in strong language, adding, "And eh, sir!
when I lay by the dyke, and the beasts round a*
glowerin at me, I thocht what Dauvid maun hae felt
when he said Many bulls have compassed me ;
strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round.

With the plainness and pungency of the old-fashion
ed Scottish language there was sometimes a coarseness
of expression, which, although commonly repeated in
the Scottish drawing-room of last century, could
not now be tolerated. An example of a very plain
and downright address of a laird has been recorded
in the annals of "Forfarshire Lairdship." He had
married one of the Misses Guthrie, who had a strong
feeling towards the Presbyterian faith in which she
had been brought up, although her husband was
one of the zealous old school of Episcopalians. The
young wife had invited her old friend, the parish
minister, to tea, and had given him a splendid "four
howrs." Ere the table was cleared the laird came in
unexpectedly, and thus expressed his indignation, not
very delicately, at what he considered an unwarrant
able exercise of hospitality at his cost : " Helen
Guthrie, ye ll no think to save yer ain saul at the ex
pense of my meal-girnel ! "

The answer of an old woman under examination
by the minister to the question from the Shorter
Catechism "What are the decrees of God?" could
not have been surpassed by the General Assembly of
the Kirk, or even the Synod of Dort " Indeed, sir,

84 REMINISCENCES OF

He kens that best Himsell." We have an answer
analogous to that, though not so pungent, in a cate
chumen of the late Dr. Johnston of Leith. She
answered his own question, patting him on the
shoulder " Deed, just tell it yersell, bonny doctor
(lie was a very handsome man) ; naebody can tell it
better."

To pass from the answers of " persons come to
years of discretion " I have elsewhere given ex
amples of peculiar traits of character set forth in the
answers of mere children, and no doubt a most
amusing collection might be made of very juvenile
" Scottish Reminiscences." One of these is now a
very old story, and has long been current amongst
us : A little boy who attended a day-school in the
neighbourhood, when he came home in the evening
was always asked how he stood in his own class. The
invariable answer made was, " I m second dux," which
means in Scottish academical language second from
the top of the class. As his habits of application at
home did not quite bear out the claim to so dis
tinguished a position at school, one of the family
ventured to ask what was the number in the class to
which he was attached. After some hesitation he
was obliged to admit : " Ou, there s jist me and anitlier
lass." It was a very practical answer of the little girl,
when asked the meaning of " darkness/ as it occurred
in Scripture reading " Ou, just steek your een."
On the question, What was the "pestilence that
walketh in darkness " ? being put to a class, a little
boy answered, after consideration "Ou, it s just
hugs" I did not anticipate when in a former edition
I introduced this answer, which I received from my
nephew Sir Alexander Eamsay, that it would call
forth a comment so interesting as one which I have

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 35

received from Dr. Barber of Ul version. He sends
me an extract from Matthew s Translation of the Bible,
which he received from Rev. L. R Ayre, who pos
sesses a copy of date 1553, from which it appears that
Psalm xci. 5 was thus translated by Matthew, who
adopted his translation from Coverdale and Tyndale:
" So that thou shalt not need to be afrayed for any
bugge by nyght, nor for the arrow that flyeth by
day."* Dr. Barber ingeniously remarks "Is it
possible the little boy s mother had one of these old
Bibles, or is it merely a coincidence 1

The innocent and unsophisticated answers of chil
dren on serious subjects are often very amusing.
Many examples are recorded, and one I have received
seems much to the point, and derives a good
deal of its point from the Scottish turn of the expres
sions. An elder of the kirk having found a little boy
and his sister playing marbles on Sunday, put his
reproof in this form, not a judicious one for a child :
" Boy, do ye know where children go to who play
marbles on Sabbath-day 7" " Ay," said the boy, " they
gang doun to the field by the water below the brig."
"No," roared out the elder, "they go to hell, and are
burned." The little fellow, really shocked, called to
his sister, " Come awa , Jeanie, here s a man swearing
awfully."

A Scotch story like that of the little boy, of which
the humour consisted in the dry application of the
terms in a sense different from what was intended by
the speaker, was sent to me, but has got spoilt by pass
ing through the press. It must be Scotch, or at least, is
composed of Scottish materials the Shorter Catechism

* The truth is, in old English usage " bug" signifies a spectre
or anything that is frightful. Thus in Henry VI., 3d Part, act
v. sc. ii. " For Warwick was a bug that feared us all."

REMINISCENCES OF

and the bagpipes. A piper was plying his trade in
the streets, and a strict elder of the kirk, desirous to
remind him that it was a somewhat idle and profit
less occupation, went up to him and proposed solemnly
the first question of the Shorter Catechism, " What is
the chief end of man ? The good piper, thinking
only of his own business, and supposing that the ques
tion had reference to some pipe melody, innocently
answered, " Na, I dinna ken the tune, but if ye ll
whistle it I ll try and play it for ye."

I have said before, and I would repeat the remark
again and again, that the object of this work is not
to string together mere funny stories, or to collect
amusing anecdotes. We have seen such collections,
in which many of the anecdotes are mere Joe Millers
translated into Scotch. The purport of these pages
has been throughout to illustrate Scottish life and
character, by bringing forward those modes and forms
of expression by which alone our national peculiarities
can be familiarly illustrated and explained. Besides
Scottish replies and expressions which are most cha
racteristic and in fact unique for dry humour, for
quaint and exquisite wit I have often referred to a
consideration of dialect and proverbs. There can be
no doubt there is a force and beauty in our Scottish
phraseology, as well as a quaint humour, considered
merely as phraseology, peculiar to itself. I have
spoken of the phrase " Auld langsyne," and of other
words, which may be compared in their Anglican and
Scottish form. Take the familiar term common to
many singing-birds. The English word linnet does
not, to my mind, convey so much of simple beauty
and of pastoral ideas as belong to our Scottish word

LINTIE.

I recollect hearing the Eev. Dr. Norman Macleod

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 37

give a most interesting account of his visit to Canada.
In the course of his eloquent narrative he mentioned
a conversation he had with a Scottish emigrant, who
in general terms spoke favourably and gratefully of
his position in his adopted country. But he could
not help making this exception when he thought of
the " banks and braes o bonny Doon" " But oh,
sir," he said, " there are nae Unties i the wuds."
How touching the words in his own dialect ! The
North American woods, although full of birds of beauti
ful plumage, it is well known have no singing-birds.

A worthy Scottish Episcopal minister one day met
a townsman, a breeder and dealer in singing-birds.
The man told him he had just had a child born in his
family, and asked him if he would baptize it. He
thought the minister could not resist the offer of a
bird. " Eh, Maister Shaw," he said, " if ye ll jist do
it, I hae a fine lintie the noo, and if ye ll do it,
I ll gie ye the lintie." He quite thought that this
would settle the matter !

By these remarks I mean to express the feeling
that the word lintie conveys to my mind more of
tenderness and endearment towards the little songster
than linnet. And this leads me to a remark (which I
do not remember to have met with) that Scottish
dialects are peculiarly rich in such terms of endear
ment, more so than the pure Anglican. Without at
all pretending to exhaust the subject, I may cite the
following as examples of the class of terms I speak of.
Take the names for parents "Daddie" and "Minnie ;"
names for children, " My wee bit lady" or " laddie,"
" My wee bit lamb ;" of a general nature, " My ain
kind dearie." " Dawtie," especially used to young
people, described by Jamieson a darling or favourite,
one who is dawted i.e. fondled or caressed. My

K

38 REMINISCENCES OF

"joe" expresses affection with familiarity, evidently
derived from joy, an easy transition as " My joe,
Janet ;" " John Anderson, my joe, John." Of this
character is Burns s address to a wife, " My winsome "
-i.e. charming, engaging " wee thing ;" also to a
wife, " My winsome marrow " the latter word sig
nifying a dear companion, one of a pair closely allied
to each other ; also the address of Rob the Eanter to
Maggie Lander, " My bonnie bird." Now, we would
remark, upon this abundant nomenclature of kindly
expressions in the Scottish dialect, that it assumes an
interesting position as taken in connection with the
Scottish Life and Character, and as a set-oft against a
frequent short and grumpy manner. It indicates how
often there must be a current of tenderness and affec
tion in the Scottish heart, which is so frequently re
presented to be, like its climate, " stern and wild."
There could not be such terms were the feelings they
express unknown. I believe it often happens that in
the Scottish character there is a vein of deep and
kindly feeling lying hid under a short, and hard and
somewhat stern manner. Hence has arisen the Scot
tish saying which is applicable to such cases " His
girn s waur than his bite :" his disposition is of a softer
nature than his words and manner would often lead
you to suppose.

There are two admirable articles in Blackwood s
Magazine, in the numbers for November and December
1870, upon this subject. The writer abundantly vin
dicates the point and humour of the Scottish tongue.
Who can resist, for example, the epithet applied by
Meg Merrilies to an unsuccessful probationer for ad
mission to the ministry : " a sticket stibbler " ? Take
the sufficiency of Holy Scripture as a pledge for any
one s salvation : " There s eneuch between the brods

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 39

o 1 the Testament to save the biggest sinner i the
warld." I heard an old Scottish Episcopalian thus
pithily describe the hasty and irreverent manner of a
young Englishman : " He ribbled aff the prayers
like a man at the heid o a regiment." A large family
of young children has been termed " a great sma j
family." It was a delicious dry rejoinder to the ques
tion " Are you Mr. So-and-so ? " It s a that s o
me (i.e. to be had for him.) I have heard an old
Scottish gentleman direct his servant to mend the
fire by saying, " I think, Dauvid, we wadna be the
\vaur o some coals."

There is a pure Scottish term, which I have always
thought more expressive than any English word of
ideas connected with manners in society I mean the
word to blether, or blethering, or blethers. Jamieson
defines it to " talk nonsense." But it expresses far
more it expresses powerfully, to Scottish people,
a person at once shallow, chattering, conceited, tire
some, voluble.

There is a delicious servantgirlism, often expressed
in an answer given at the door to an inquirer : "Is
your master at home, or mistress V as the case may be.
The problem is to save the direct falsehood, and yet
evade the visit ; so the answer is " Ay, he or she is
at hame; but he s no in."

The transition from Scottish expressions to Scottish
Poetry is easy and natural. In fact, the most inter
esting feature now belonging to Scottish life and
social habits is, to a certain extent, becoming with
many a matter of reminiscence of Poetry in the Scottish
dialect, as being the most permanent and the most
familiar feature of Scottish characteristics. It is be
coming a matter of history, in so far as we find that
it has for some time ceased to be cultivated with much

40 REMINISCENCES OF

ardour, or to attract much popularity. In fact, since
the time of Burns, it has been losing its hold on the
public mind. It is a remarkable fact that neither
Scott nor Wilson, both admirers of Burns, both copious
writers of poetry themselves, both also so distinguished
as writers of Scottish prose, should have written any
poetry strictly in the form of pure Scottish dialect.
"Jock o Hazeldean" I hardly admit to be an exception.
It is not Scottish. If, indeed, Sir Walter wrote the
scrap of the beautiful ballad in the " Antiquary "

" Now hand your tongue, baith wife and carle,

And listen, great and sma ,
And I will sing of Glenallan s Earl,
That fought at the red Harlaw "

one cannot but regret that he had not written more
of the same. Campbell, a poet and a Scotsman,
has not attempted it. In short, we do not find poetry
in the Scottish dialect at all kept up in Scotland.
It is every year becoming more a matter of research
and reminiscence. Nothing new is added to the old
stock, and indeed it is surprising to see the ignorance
and want of interest displayed by many young persons
in this department of literature. How few read the
works of Allan Ramsay, once so popular, and still so
full of pastoral imagery ! There are occasionally new
editions of the Gentle Shepherd, but I suspect for a
limited class of readers. I am assured the boys of the
High School, Academy, etc., do not care even for
Burns. As poetry in the Scottish dialect is thus
slipping away from the public Scottish mind, I thought
it very suitable to a work of this character to supply
a list of modern Scottish dialect writers. This I am
able to provide by the kindness of our distinguished
antiquary, Mr. David Laing the fulness and correct-

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 41

ness of whose acquirements are only equalled by his
readiness and courtesy in communicating his informa
tion to others :

SCOTTISH POETS OF THE LAST CENTURY.

ALLAN KAMSAY. B. 1686. D. 1757. His Gentle
Shepherd, completed in 1725, and his Collected
Poems in 1721-1728.

It cannot be said there was any want of successors,
however obscure, following in the same track. Those
chiefly deserving of notice were

ALEXANDER Ross of Lochlee. B. 1700. D. 1783.

The Fortunate Shepherdess.

ROBERT FERGUSSON. B. 1750. D. 1774. Leith
Races, Caller Oysters, etc.

REV. JOHN SKINNER. B. 1721. D. 1807. Tulloch-
gorum.

ROBERT BURNS. B. 1759. D. 1796.

ALEXANDER, FOURTH DUKE OF GORDON. B. 1743-
D. 1827. Cauld Kail in Aberdeen.

ALEXANDER WILSON of Paisley, who latterly distin
guished himself as an American ornithologist. B.
1766. D. 1813. Watty and Meg.

HECTOR MACNEILL. B. 1746. D. 1818. Will and
Jean.

ROBERT TANNAHILL. B. 1774. D. 1810. Songs.
JAMES HOGG. B. 1772. D. 1835.
ALLAN CUNNINGHAM. B. 1784. D. 1842.

To this list we must add the names of Lady Nairn e
and Lady Anne Lindsay. To the former we are
indebted for The Land o the Leal," The Laird o
Cockpen," and "The Auld Hoose;" to the latter for

42 REMINISCENCES OF

" Auld Robin Gray :" and our wonder is, how those
who could write so charmingly should have written so
little.

I have no intention of discussing the general ques
tion of Scottish poetry of defending or eulogising,
or of apologising for anything belonging to it. There
are songs in broad Scottish dialect of which the
beauty and the power will never be lost. Words of
Burns, Allan Ramsay, and Lady Nairne, must ever
speak to hearts that are true to nature. I am de
sirous of bringing before my readers at this time the
name of a Scottish poet, which, though in Mr. Laing s
list, I fear is become rather a reminiscence. It is
fifty years since his poetical pieces were published in
a collected form. I am desirous of giving a special
notice of a true-hearted Scotsman, and a genuine
Scottish poet, under both characters. I look with a
tender regard to the memory of the Eev. JOHN
SKINNER of Langside. He has written little in
quantity, but it is all charming. He was a good
Christian minister. He was a man of learning a
man of liberal and generous feeling. In addition to
all this, he has upon me the claim of having been a
Scottish Episcopalian divine, and I am always re
joiced to see among learned men of our church sym
pathies with liberalism, besides what is patristic
and theological. John Skinner s name and family are
much mixed up with our church. f Tullochgorum was
father of Primus John Skinner, and grandfather of
Primus W. Skinner and of the Rev. John Skinner of
Forfar. The youngest brother of Tullochgorum was
James Skinner, W.S., who died at ninety-one, and
was grandfather of W. Skinner, W.S., Edinburgh.
The Rev. J. Skinner was born in Birse, a wild part
of Aberdeenshire, 1721. His father was parochial

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 43

schoolmaster at Gight for nearly fifty years. He
worked hard under the care of his father, who was a
good Latin scholar. He gained a bursary at Aberdeen,
where he studied. When he left college he became
schoolmaster at Monymusk, where he wrote some
pieces that attracted attention, and Sir Archibald
Grant took him into the house, and allowed him the
full use of a very fine library. He made good use of
this opportunity, and indeed became a fair scholar
and theologian. Skinner had been brought up a
Presbyterian, but at Monymusk found reasons for
changing his views. In June 1740 he became tutor
to the only son of Mrs. Sinclair in Shetland. Re
turning to Aberdeenshire in 1741, he completed his
studies for the ministry, was ordained by Bishop
Dunbar, and in 1742 became pastor of Langside.
He worked for this little congregation for nearly
sixty-five years, and they were happy and united
under his pastoral charge. One very interesting in
cident took place during his ministry, which bears
upon our general question of reminiscences and
changes. John Skinner was in his own person an
example of that persecution for political opinion re
ferred to in Professor Macgregor s account of the large
prayer-book in the library at Panmure. After the 45,
Episcopalians were treated with suspicion and seve
rity. The severe laws passed against Jacobites were
put in force, and poor Skinner fined.

However, better and more peaceful times came
round, and all that John Skinner had undergone did
not sour his temper or make him severe or misan
thropical. As a pastor he seems to have had tact, as
well as good temper, in the management of his flock,
if we may judge from the following anecdote :
Talking with an obstinate self-confident farmer, when

REMINISCENCES OF

the conversation happened to turn on the subject of
the motion of the earth, the farmer would not be con
vinced that the earth moved at all. " Hoot, minister,"
the man roared out ; " d ye see the earth never gaes
oot o the pairt, and it maun be that the sun gaes
round : we a ken he rises i the east and sets i the
west." Then, as if to silence all argument, he added
triumphantly, "As if the sun didna gae round the
earth, when it is said in Scripture that the Lord com
manded the sun to stand still ! Mr. Skinner,
finding it was no use to argue further, quietly an
swered, " Ay, it s vera true ; the sun was commanded
to stand still, and there he stands still, for Joshua
never tauld him to tak the road again." I have
said John Skinner wrote little Scottish poetry, but
what he wrote was rarely good. His prose works
extended over three volumes when they were col
lected by his son, the Bishop of Aberdeen, but we have
no concern with them. His poetical pieces, by which
his name will never die in Scotland, are the " Reel
of Tullochgorum " and the "Ewie with the Crooked
Horn," charming Scottish songs, one the perfection
of the lively, the other of the pathetic. It is quite
enough to say of " Tullochgorum r (by which the
old man is now always designated), what was said of
it by Robert Burns, as " the first of songs," and as
the best Scotch song Scotland ever saw.

I have brought in the following anecdote, exactly
as it appeared in the Scotsman of October 4, 1859,
because it introduces his name.

" The late Eev. John Skinner, author of Annals of
Scottish Episcopacy, was his grandson. He was first
appointed to a charge in Montrose, from whence he
was removed to Banff, and ultimately to Forfar. After
he had left Montrose, it reached his ears that an ill-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 48

natured insinuation was circulating there that he
had been induced to leave this town by the temp
tation of a better income and of fat pork, which, it
would appear, was plentiful in the locality of his new
incumbency. Indignant at such an aspersion, he
wrote a letter, directed to his maligners / vindicating
himself sharply from it, which he showed to his grand
father, John Skinner of Langside, for his approval.
The old gentleman objected to it as too lengthy, and
proposed the following pithy substitute :

" Had Skinner been of carnal mind,

As strangely ye suppose,
Or had he even been fond of swine,
He d ne er have left Montrose.

But there is an anecdote of John Skinner which
should endear his memory to every generous and
loving heart. On one occasion he was passing a small
dissenting place of worship at the time when the
congregation were engaged in singing : on passing the
door old-fashioned Scottish Episcopalian as he was
he reverently took off his hat. His companion said
to him, " What ! do you feel so much sympathy with
this Anti Burgher congregation 1 " " No/ 1 said Mr.
Skinner, " but I respect and love any of my fellow-
Christians who are engaged in singing to the glory of
the Lord Jesus Christ." Well done, old Tullochgorum !
thy name shall be loved and honoured by every true
liberal-minded Scotsman.

Yes ! Mr. Skinner s experience of the goodness of
God and of the power of grace, had led him to the
conviction that the earnest song of praise, that comes
from the heart of the sincere believer in Christ, can
go up to Heaven from the humblest earthly house of
prayer, and be received before the throne of grace as

46 REMINISCENCES OP

acceptably as the high and solemn service of the lofty
cathedral,

" Where, from the long-drawn aisle and fretted vault,
The pealing anthein swells the note of praise."

We must firmly believe that, obsolete as the
dialect of Scotland may become, and its words and
expressions a matter of tradition and of reminiscence
with many, still there are Scottish lines, and broad
Scottish lines, which can never cease to hold their
place in the affections and the admiration of innu
merable hearts whom they have charmed. Can the
choice and popular Scottish verses, endeared to us
by so many kindly associations of the past, and by
so many beauties and poetical graces of their own,
ever lose their attractions for a Scottish heart ] The
charm of such strains can never die.

I think one subsidiary cause for permanency in the
popularity still belonging to particular Scottish songs
has proceeded from their association with Scottish
music. The melodies of Scotland can never die. In
the best of these compositions there is a pathos and a
feeling which must preserve them, however simple in
their construction, from being vulgar or commonplace.
Mendelssohn did not disdain taking Scottish airs as
themes for the exercise of his profound science and
his exquisite taste. It must, I think, be admitted
that singing of Scottish songs in the perfection of their
style at once pathetic, graceful, and characteristic
is not so often met with as to remove all apprehension
that ere long they may become matters only of remi
niscence. Many accomplished musicians often neglect
entirely the cultivation of their native melodies, under
the idea of their being inconsistent with the elegance
and science of high-class music. They commit a mis

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER, 47

take. When judiciously and tastefully performed, it
is a charming style of music, and will always give
pleasure to the intelligent hearer. I have heard two
young friends, who have attained great skill in scien
tific and elaborate compositions, execute the simple
song of " Low down in the Broom," with an effect I
shall not easily forget. Who that has heard the
Countess of Essex, when Miss Stephens, sing " Auld
Robin Gray," can ever lose the impression of her
heart-touching notes 1 In the case of " Auld Robin
Gray," the song composed by Lady Anne Lindsay,
although very beautiful in itself, has been, I think,
a good deal indebted to the air for its great and con
tinued popularity. The history of that tender and
appropriate melody is somewhat curious, and not gene
rally known. The author was not a Scotsman. It
was composed by the Rev. Mr. Leves, rector of
Wrington in Somersetshire, either early in this century
or just at the close of the last. Mr. Leves was fond
of music, and composed several songs, but none ever
gained any notice except his "Auld Robin Gray," the
popularity of which has been marvellous. I knew
the family when I lived in Somersetshire, and had
met them in Bath. Mr. Leves composed the air for
his daughter, Miss Bessy Leves, who was a pretty
girl and a pretty singer.

I cannot but deeply regret to think that I should
in these pages have any ground for classing Scottish
poetry and Scottish airs amongst " Reminiscences."
It is a department of literature where, of course, there
must be selection, but I am convinced it will repay a
careful cultivation. I would recommend, as a copious
and judicious selection of Scottish tunes, " The Scot
tish Minstrel," by R. A. Smith (Purdie, Edinburgh).
There are the words, also, of a vast number of Scottish

48 REMINISCENCES OF

songs, but the account of their authorship is very de
fective. Then, again, for the fine Scottish ballads of
an older period, we have two admirable collections
one by Mr. E. Chambers, and one by the late Professor
Aytoun. For Scottish dialect songs of the more
modern type, a copious collection will be found (exclu
sive of Burns and Allan Ramsay) in small volumes
published by David Robertson, Glasgow, at intervals
from 1832 to 1853, under the title of Whistlebi rikie.

But there are more than lines of Scottish poetry
which may become matter of reminiscence, and more
than Scottish song melodies which may be forgotten.
There are strains of Scottish PSALMODY of which it
would be more sad to think that they possibly may
have lost their charm and their hold with Scottish
people. That such psalmody, of a peculiar Scottish
class and character, has existed, no one can doubt
who has knowledge or recollection of past days. In
glens and retired passes, where those who fled from
persecution met together on the moors and heaths,
where men suffering for their faith took refuge in
the humble worship of the cottar s fireside were airs
of sacred Scottish melody, which were well calculated
to fan the heavenward flame which was kindled in
lays of the " sweet Psalmist of Israel." These psalm-
tunes are in their way as peculiar as the song-tunes
we have referred to. Nothing can be more touching
than the description by Burns of the domestic psalmody
of his father s cottage. Mr. R. Chambers, in his Life
of Burns, informs us that the poet, during his father s
infirmity and after his death, had himself sometimes
conducted family worship. Happy days, ere he had
encountered the temptations of a world in which he
had too often fallen before the solicitations of guilty
passion ! and then, beautifully does he describe the

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHAHACTER. 49

characteristic features of this portion of the cottars
worship. How solemnly he enumerates the psalm-
tunes usually made use of on such occasions, and
discriminates the character of each :

" They chant their artless notes in simple guise

They tune their hearts, by far the noblest aim :
Perhaps DUNDEE S wild warbling measures rise,
Or plaintive MARTYRS, worthy of the name,
Or noble ELGIN beets * the heavenward flame."

He was not, alas ! always disposed in after life to
reverence these sacred melodies as he had done in his
youthful days. In his poem of " The Holy Fair," he
less reverently adduces mention of these sacred airs :

"Now turn the Psalms o David ower,

And lilt wi holy clangour.
double verse come gie us four,
An skirl up the Bangor."

These tunes seem to have been strictly and ex
clusively national. In proof of such psalmody being
quite national, I have been told that many of these
tunes were composed by artisans, such as builders,
joiners, blacksmiths, etc.

Several of the psalm-tunes more peculiar to Scotland
are no doubt of an early date. In Ravenscroft s
Psalms, published with the music in four parts in
1621, he gives the names of seven as purely Scottish
King s, Duke s, Abbey, Dunfermline, Dundee, Glasgow,
Martyrs. I was used to hear such psalmody in my
early days in the parish church of Fettercairn, where
we always attended during summer. It had all the
simple characteristics described by Burns, and there
was a heartiness and energy too in the congregation
when, as he expresses it, they used to "skirl up the

* Adds fuel to fire.

50 REMINISCENCES OF

Bangor," of which the effects still hang in
recollection. At that time there prevailed the curious
custom, when some of the psalms were sung, of
reading out a single line, and when that was sung
another line was read, and so throughout.* Thus, on
singing the 50th psalm, the first line sounded thus :
" Our God shall come, and- shall no more;" when that
was sung, there came the next startling announce
ment " Be silent, but speak out" A rather unfortunate
juxtaposition was suggested through this custom, which
we are assured really happened in the church of
Irvine. The precentor, after having given out the
first line, and having observed some members of the
family from the castle struggling to get through the
crowd on a sacramental occasion, cried out, "Let the
noble family of Eglinton pass," and then added the
line which followed the one he had just given out
rather mal-apropos " Nor stand in sinners way. 11
One peculiarity I remember, which was, closing the
strain sometimes by an interval less than a semitone ;
instead of the half-note preceding the close or key-note,
they used to take the guarfor-note, the effect of which
had a peculiar gurgling sound, but I never heard it
elsewhere. It may be said these Scottish tunes were
unscientific, and their performance rude. It may be
so, but the effect was striking, as I recall it through
the vista of threescore years and ten. Great advances,
no doubt, have been made in Scotland in congrega
tional psalmody ; organs have in some instances been
adopted ; choirs have been organised with great
effort by choirmasters of musical taste and skill. But
I hope the spirit of PIETY, which in past times once

* As far as I am aware the only place in which it is practised
at present (July 1872), is in the Free Church, Brodick, Arran,

SCOTTISH LIFE <t CHARACTER. 51

accompanied the old Scottish psalm, whether sung in
the church or at home, has not departed with the
music. Its better emotions are not, I hope, to become
a " Keminiscence."

There was no doubt sometimes a degree of noise in
the psalmody more than was consistent with good
taste, but this often proceeded from the earnestness of
those who joined. I recollect at Banchory an honest
fellow who sang so loud that he annoyed his fellow-
worshippers, and the minister even rebuked him for
" skirling " so loud. James was not quite patient
under these hints, and declared to some of his
friends that he was resolved to sing to the praise of
God, as he said, " gin I should crack the waas o the
houss."

Going from sacred tunes to sacred words, a good
many changes have taken place in the little history
of our own psalmody and hymnology. When I first
came to Edinburgh, for psalms we made use of the
mild and vapid new version of Tate and Brady ; for
hymns, almost each congregation had its own
selection and there w r ere hymn-books of Dundee,
Perth, Glasgow, etc. The Established Church used
the old rough psalter, with paraphrases by Logan, etc.,
and a few hymns added by authority of the General
Assembly. There seems to be a pretty general
tendency in the Episcopal Church to adopt at present
the extensive collection called " Hymns Ancient and
Modern," cop.taining 386 pieces. Copies of the words
alone are to be procured for one penny, and the whole,
with tunes attached, to be procured for Is. 6d. The
Hymns Ancient and Modern are not set forth with
any Ecclesiastical sanction. It is supposed, however,
that there will be a Hymnal published by the Church
of England on authority, and if so, our Church will

52 REMINISCENCES OF

be likely to adopt it. The Established Church
Hymnal Committee have lately sanctioned a very
interesting collection of 200 pieces. The compilation
has been made with liberality of feeling as well as
with good taste. There are several of Neale s transla
tions from mediaeval hymns, several from John Keble,
and the whole concludes with the Te Deum taken
literally from the Prayer-Book.

This mention of Scottish Psalmody and Scottish
Hymnology, whether for private or for public worship,
naturally brings us to a very important division of
our subject ; I mean the general question of remini
scences of Scottish religious feelings and observances ;
and first in regard to Scottish clergy.

My esteemed friend, Lord Neaves, who, it is well
known, combines with his great legal knowledge and
high literary acquirements a keen sense of the humor
ous, has sometimes pleasantly complained of my
drawing so many of my specimens of Scottish humour
from sayings and doings of Scottish ministers. They
were a shrewd and observant race. They lived amongst
their own people from year to year, and understood the
Scottish type of character. Their retired habits and
familiar intercourse with their parishioners gave rise to
many quaint and racy communications. They were
excellent men, well suited to their pastoral work, and
did much good amongst their congregations; for it
should be always remembered that a national church re
quires a sympathy and resemblance between the pastors
and the flocks. Both will be found to change together.
Nothing could be further from my mind in recording
these stories, than the idea of casting ridicule upon
such an order of men. My own feelings as a Scots
man, with all their ancestral associations, lead me to
cherish their memory with pride and deep interest. I

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 58

may appeal also to the fact that many contributions
to this volume are voluntary offerings from distin
guished clergymen of the Church of Scotland, as well
as of the Free Church and of other Presbyterian com
munities. Indeed, no persons enjoy these stories more
than ministers themselves. I recollect many years
ago travelling to Perth in the old stage-coach days,
and enjoying the society of a Scottish clergyman, who
was a most amusing companion, and full of stories,
the quaint humour of which accorded with his own
disposition. When we had come through Glen Farg,
my companion pointed out that we were in the parish
of Dron. With much humour he introduced an anec
dote of a brother minister not of a brilliant order of
mind, who had terminated in this place a course of
appointments in the Church, the names of which, at
least, were of an ominous character for a person of
unimaginative temperament. The worthy man had
been brought up at the school of Dunse; had been made
assistant at Dull, a parish near Aberfeldy, in the
Presbytery of Weem ; and had here ended his days
and his clerical career as minister of Dron.

There can be no doubt that the older school of
national clergy supply many of our most amusing
anecdotes ; and our pages would suffer deplorably
were all the anecdotes taken away which turn upon
their peculiarities of dialect and demeanour. I think
it will be found, however, that upon no class of
society has there been a greater change during the
last hundred years than on the Scottish clergy as
a body. This, indeed, might, from many circum
stances, have been expected. The improved facilities
for locomotion have had effect upon the retirement
and isolation of distant country parishes, the more

liberal and extended course of study at Scottish

L

54 REMINISCENCES OF

colleges, the cheaper and wider diffusion of books on
general literature, of magazines, newspapers, and
reviews. Perhaps, too, we may add that candidates
for the ministry now more generally originate from
the higher educated classes of society. But honour
to the memory of Scottish ministers of the days that
are gone !

The Scottish clergy, from having mixed so little
with life, were often, no doubt, men of simple habits
and of very childlike notions. The opinions and feel
ings which they expressed were often of a cast, which,
amongst persons of more experience, would appear to
be not always quite consistent with the clerical
character. In them it arose from their having nothing
conventional about them. Thus I have heard of an
old bachelor clergyman whose landlady declared he
used to express an opinion of his dinner by the grace
which he made to follow. When he had had a good
dinner which pleased him, and a good glass of beer
with it, he poured forth the grace, " For the riches of
thy bounty and its blessings we offer our thanks."
When he had had poor fare and poor beer, his grace
was, " The least of these thy mercies."

Many examples of the dry, quaint humour of the
class occur in these pages, but there could not be a
finer specimen than the instance recorded in the
" Annals of the Parish Jl of the account given by the
minister of his own ordination. The ministers were
all assembled for the occasion ; prayers had been
offered, discourses delivered, and the time for the
actual ordination had come. The form, is for the can
didate to kneel down and receive his sacred office by
the imposition of hands, i.e. the laying on of hands by
the whole Presbytery. As the attendance of ministers
was large, a number of hands were stretched forth,

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 55

more than could quite conveniently come up to the
candidate. An old minister, of the quiet jocose turn
of mind we speak of, finding himself thus kept at a
little distance, stretched out his walking staff and
put it on the young man s head, with the quiet
remark, " That will do ! Timmer to timmer " timber
to timber.

Their style of preaching, too was, no doubt often
plain and homely. They had not the graces of elocu
tion or elegance of diction. But many were faithful
in their office, and preached Christ as the poor man s
friend and the Saviour of the lowly and the suffering.
I have known Scottish ministers of the old school get
into a careless indifferent state of ministration ; I
have also known the hoary head of many a Scottish
minister go down to the grave a crown of glory, in his
day and generation more honoured than many which
had been adorned by a mitre.

56 REMINISCENCES OF

CHAPTER THE SECOND.

SCOTTISH RELIGIOUS FEELINGS AND OBSERVANCES.

PASSING from these remarks on the Scottish Clergy
of a past day, I would treat the more extensive subject
of RELIGIOUS FEELINGS and RELIGIOUS OBSERVANCES
generally with the caution and deference due to such
a question, and I would distinctly premise that there
is in my mind no intention of entering, in this volume,
upon those great questions which are connected with
certain church movements amongst us, or with national
peculiarities of faith and discipline. It is impossible,
however, to overlook entirely the fact of a gradual re
laxation, which has gone on for some years, of the
sterner features of the Calvinistic school of theology
at any rate, of keeping its theoretic peculiarities
more in the background. What we have to notice
in these pages are changes in the feelings with regard
to religion and religious observances, which have
appeared upon the exterior of society the changes
which belong to outward habits rather than to in
ternal feelings. Of such changes many have taken
place within my own experience. Scotland has ever
borne the character of a moral and religious country ;
and the mass of the people are a more church-going
race than the masses of English population. I am
not at all prepared to say that in the middle and lower
ranks of life our countrymen have undergone much
change in regard to religious observances. But there

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 57

can be no question that amongst the upper classes
there are manifestations connected with religion now,
which some years ago were not thought of. The at-
tendence of men on public worship is of itself an ex
ample of the change we speak of. I am afraid that
when Walter Scott described Monkbarns as being with
difficulty "hounded out" to hear the sermons of good
Mr. Blattergowl, he wrote from a knowledge of the
habits of church-going then generally prevalent among
Scottish lairds. The late Bishop Sandford told me
that when he first came to Edinburgh I suppose fifty
years ago few gentlemen attended church very few
indeed were seen at the communion so much so that
it was a matter of conversation when a male communi
cant, not an aged man, was observed at the table for
the first time. Sydney Smith, when preaching in
Edinburgh some forty years ago, seeing how almost
exclusively congregations were made up of ladies, took
for his text the verse from the Psalms, " Oh that men
would therefore praise the Lord ! " and with that touch
of the facetious which marked everything he did, laid
the emphasis on the word " men." Looking round the
congregation and saying, " Oh that men would there
fore praise the Lord! implying that he used the
word, not to describe the human species generally, but
the male individuals as distinguished from the female
portion. In regard to attendance by young men, both
at church and communion, a marked change has taken
place in my own experience. In fact, there is an
attention excited towards church subjects, which, thirty
years ago, would have been hardly credited. Nor is
it only in connection with churches and church services
that these changes have been brought forth, but an
interest has been raised on the subject from Bible
societies, missionary associations at home and abroad,

58 REMINISCENCES OF

schools and reformatory institutions, most of which,
as regard active operation, have grown up during fifty
years.

Nor should I omit to mention, what I trust may he
considered as a change belonging to religious feeling
viz., that conversation is now conducted without that
accompaniment of those absurd and unmeaning oaths
which were once considered an essential embellishment
of polite discourse. I distinctly recollect an elderly
gentleman, when describing the opinion of a refined
and polished female upon a particular point, putting
into her mouth an unmistakable round oath as the
natural language in which people s sentiments and
opinions would be ordinarily conveyed. This is a
change wrought in men s feelings, which all must hail
with great pleasure. Putting out of sight for a
moment the sin of such a practice, and the bad in
fluence it must have had upon all emotions of reverence
for the name and attributes of the Divine Being, and
the natural effect of profane swearing, to " harden a
within, 7 we might marvel at the utter folly and incon
gruity of making swearing accompany every expression
of anger or surprise, or of using oaths as mere ex
pletives in common discourse. A quaint anecdote,
descriptive of such senseless ebullition, I have from a
friend who mentioned the names of parties concerned :
A late Duke of Athole had invited a well-known
character, a writer of Perth, to come up and meet him
at Dunkeld for the transaction of some business. The
Duke mentioned the day and hour when he should
receive the man of law, who accordingly came
punctually at the appointed time and place. But the
Duke had forgotten the appointment, and gone to the
hill, from which he could not return for some hours.
A Highlander present described the Perth writer s in-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 59

dignation, and his mode of showing it by a most
elaborate course of swearing. " But whom did he
swear at?" was the inquiry made of the narrator, who
replied, " Oh, he didna sweer at ony thing particular,
but juist stude in ta middle of ta road and swoor at
lairge." I have from a friend also an anecdote which
shows how entirely at one period the practice of
swearing had become familiar even to female ears
when mixed up with the intercourse of social life. A
sister had been speaking of her brother as much
addicted to this habit " Oor John sweers awfu , and
we try to correct him ; but," she added in a candid
and apologetic tone, " nae doubt it is a great set aff
to conversation." There was something of rather an
admiring character in the description of an outbreak
of swearing by a Deeside body. He had been before
the meeting of Justices for some offence against the
excise laws, and had been promised some assistance
and countenance by my cousin, the laird of Finzean,
who was unfortunately addicted to the practice in
question. The poor fellow had not got off so well as
he had expected, and on giving an account of what
took place to a friend, he was asked, "But did not
Finzean speak for you?" "Na," he replied, "he
didna say muckle ; but oh, he damned bonny ! "

This is the place to notice a change which has
taken place in regard to some questions of taste in
the building and embellishing of Scottish places of
worship. Some years back there was a great jealousy
of ornament in connection with churches and church
services, and, in fact, all such embellishments were
considered as marks of a departure from the sim
plicity of old Scottish worship, they were distinctive
of Episcopacy as opposed to the severer modes of Pres-
byterianism. The late Sir William Forbes used to

80 REMINISCENCES OF

give an account of a conversation, indicative of this
feeling, which he had overheard between an Edin
burgh inhabitant and his friend from the country.
They were passing St. John s, which had just been
finished, and the countryman asked, " Whatna kirk
was that?" " Oh," said the townsman, "that is an
English chapel," meaning Episcopalian. "Ay," said
his friend, " there ll be a walth o images there." But,
if unable to sympathise with architectural church
ornament and embellishment, how much less could
they sympathise with the performance of divine ser
vice, which included such musical accompaniments as
intoning, chanting, and anthems ! On the first in
troduction of Tractarianism into Scotland, the full
choir service had been established in an Episcopal
church, where a noble family had adopted those views,
and carried them out regardless of expense. The
lady who had been instrumental in getting up these
musical services was very anxious that a favourite
female servant of the family a Presbyterian of the
old school should have an opportunity of hearing
them ; accordingly, she very kindly took her down
to church in the carriage, and on returning asked her
what she thought of the music, etc. " Ou, it s verra
bonny, verra bonny ; but oh, my lady, it s an awfu
way of spending the Sabbath." The good woman
could only look upon the whole thing as a musical per
formance. The organ was a great mark of distinction
between Episcopalian and Presbyterian places of
worship. I have heard of an old lady describing an
Episcopalian clergyman, without any idea of disre
spect, in these terms : " Oh, he is a whistle-kirk
minister." From an Australian correspondent I have
an account of the difference between an Episcopal
minister and a Presbyterian minister, as remarked

THE WEAVER S SHOP

From a -water-colour drawing by

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.Ji:

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. e\

by an old Scottish lady of his acquaintance. Being
asked in what the difference was supposed to consist,
after some consideration she replied, " Weel, ye see,
the Presbyterian minister wears his sark under his
coat, the Episcopal minister wears his sark aboon his
coat." Of late years, however, a spirit of greater
tolerance of such things has been growing up amongst
us, a greater tolerance, I suspect, even of organs
and liturgies. In fact, we may say a new era has
begun in Scotland as to church architecture and
church ornaments. The use of stained glass in
churches forming memorial windows for the de
parted,* a free use of crosses as architectural orna
ments, and restoration of ancient edifices, indicate a
revolution of feeling regarding this question. Beauti
ful and expensive churches are rising everywhere,
in connection with various denominations. It is
not long since the building or repairing a new church,
or the repairing and adapting an old church, implied
in Scotland simply a production of the greatest pos
sible degree of ugliness and bad taste at the least
possible expense, and certainly never included any
notion of ornament in the details. Now, large sums
are expended on places of worship, without reference
to creed. First-rate architects are employed. Fine
Gothic structures are produced. The rebuilding of
the Greyfriars Church, the restoration of South Leith
Church and of Glasgow Cathedral, the very bold
experiment of adopting a style little known amongst
us, the pure Lombard, in a church for Dr. W. L.
Alexander, on George IV. Bridge, Edinburgh ; the

Distinguished examples of these are to be found in the
Old Greyfriars Church, Edinburgh, and in the Cathedral of
Glasgow ; to say nothing of the beautiful specimens in St
John s Episcopal Church, Edinburgh.

62 REMINISCENCES OF

really splendid Free Churches, St. Mary s, in Albany
Street, and the Barclay Church, Bruntsfield, and
many similar cases, mark the spirit of the times re
garding the application of what is beautiful in art to
the service of religion. One might hope that changes
such as these in the feelings, tastes, and associations,
would have a beneficial effect in bringing the wor
shippers themselves into a more genial spirit of for
bearance with each other. A friend of mine used
to tell a story of an honest builder s views of church
differences, which was very amusing, and quaintly
professional. An English gentleman, who had arrived
in a Scottish country town, was walking about to ex
amine the various objects which presented themselves,
and observed two rather handsome places of worship
in course of erection nearly opposite to each other.
He addressed a person, who happened to be the con
tractor for the chapels, and asked, "What was the
difference between these two places of worship which
were springing up so close to each other?" meaning,
of course, the difference of the theological tenets of
the two congregations. The contractor, who thought
only of architectural differences, innocently replied,
" There may be a difference of sax feet in length, but
there s no aboon a few inches in the breadth." Would
that all our religious differences could be brought
within so narrow a compass !

The variety of churches in a certain county of Scot
land once called forth a sly remark upon our national
tendencies to religious division and theological dispu
tation. An English gentleman sitting on the box,
and observing the great number of places of worship
in the aforesaid borough, remarked to the coachman
that there must be a great deal of religious feeling in
a town which produced so many houses of God

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 63

"Na." said the man quietly, "it s no religion, it s
curstness" i.e. crabbedness, insinuating that acerbity
of temper, as well as zeal, was occasionally the cause
of congregations being multiplied.

It might be a curious question to consider how far
motives founded on mere taste or sentiment may
have operated in creating an interest towards religion,
and in making it a more prominent and popular ques
tion than it was in the early portion of the present
century. There are in this country two causes which
have combined in producing these effects : 1st. The
great disruption which took place in the Church of
Scotland no doubt called forth an attention to the
subject which stirred up the public, and made re
ligion at any rate a topic of deep interest for discus
sion and partizanship. Men s minds were not allowed
to remain in the torpid condition of a past generation.
2d. The aesthetic movement in religion, which some
years since was made in England, has, of course, had
its influence in Scotland ; and many who showed
little concern about religion, whilst it was merely a
question of doctrines, of precepts, and of worship,
threw themselves keenly into the contest when it
became associated with ceremonial, and music, and
high art. New ecclesiastical associations have been
presented to Scottish tastes and feelings. With some
minds, attachment to the church is attachment to her
Gregorian tones, jewelled chalices, lighted candles,
embroidered altar-cloths, silver crosses, processions,
copes, albs, and chasubles. But, from whatever cause
it proceeds, a great change has taken place in the
general interest excited towards ecclesiastical ques
tions. Religion now has numerous associations with
the ordinary current of human life. In times past it
was kept more as a thing apart. There was a false

64 REMINISCENCES OP

delicacy which made people shrink from encountering
appellations that were usually bestowed upon those
who made a more prominent religious profession than
the world at large.

A great change has taken place in this respect with
persons of all shades of religious opinions. With an in
creased attention to the externals of religion, we believe
that in many points the heart has been more exercised
also. Take, as an example, the practice of family prayer.
Many excellent and pious households of the former
generation would not venture upon the observance, lam
afraid, because they were in dread of the sneer. There
was a foolish application of the terms " Methodist,"
" saints," " over-righteous," where the practice was
observed. It was to take up a rather decided position
in the neighbourhood ; and I can testify, that less than
fifty years ago a family would have been marked and
talked of for a usage of which now throughout the
country the exception is rather the unusual circumstance.
A little anecdote from recollections in my own family
will furnish a good illustration of a state of feeling on
this point now happily unknown. In a northern
town of the east coast, where the earliest recollections
of my life go back, there was usually a detachment of
a regiment, who were kindly received and welcomed to
the society, which in the winter months was very full
and very gay. There was the usual measure of dining,
dancing, supping, card-playing, and gossiping, which
prevailed in country towns at the time. The officers
were of course an object of much interest to the natives,
and their habits were much discussed. A friend was
staying in the family who partook a good deal of the
Athenian temperament viz. delight in hearing and
telling some new thing. On one occasion she burst
forth in great excitement with the intelligence that

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 65

" Sir Nathaniel Duckinfield, the officer in command of
the detachment, had family prayers every morning!"
A very near and dear relative of mine, knowing the
tendency of the lady to gossip, pulled her up with
the exclamation : " How can you repeat such things,
Miss Ogilvy 1 nothing in the world but the ill-natured
stories of Montrose!" The remark was made quite
innocently, and unconsciously of the bitter satire it con
veyed upon the feeling of the place. The " ill-nature"
of these stories was true enough, because ill-nature
was the motive of those who raised them ; not because
it is an ill-natured thing of itself to say of a family
that they have household worship, but the ill-nature
consisted in their intending to throw out a sneer and
a sarcasm upon a subject where all such reflections
are unbecoming and indecorous. It is one of the best
proofs of change of habits and associations on this
matter, that the anecdote, exquisite as it is for our pur
pose, will hardly be understood by many of our young
friends, or, at least, happily has lost much of its force
and pungency.

These remarks apply perhaps more especially to
the state of religious feeling amongst the upper classes
of society. Though I am not aware of so much
change in the religious habits of the Scottish
peasantry, still the elders have yielded much from
the sternness of David Deans ; and upon the whole
view of the question there have been many and great
changes in the Scottish people during the last sixty
years. It could hardly be otherwise, when we con
sider the increased facilities of communication between
the two countries a facility which extends to the
introduction of English books upon religious subjects
The most popular and engaging works connected
with the Church of England have now a free circu-

66 REMINISCENCES OF

lation in Scotland ; and it is impossible that such
productions as the " Christian Year," for example,
and many others whether for good or bad is not
now the question should not produce their effects
upon minds trained in the strictest school of Calvin-
istic theology. I should be disposed to extend the
boundaries of this division, and to include under
" Religious Feelings and Religious Observances"
many anecdotes which belong perhaps rather indi
rectly than directly to the subject. There is a very
interesting reminiscence, and one of a sacred charac
ter also, which I think will come very suitably under
this head. When I joined the Scottish Episcopal
Church, nearly fifty years ago, it was quite customary
for members of our communion to ask for the blessing
of their Bishop, and to ask it especially on any
remarkable event in their life, as marriage, loss of
friends, leaving home, returning home, etc. ; and it
was the custom amongst the old Scottish Episcopalians
to give the blessing in a peculiar form, which had
become venerable from its traditionary application
by our bishops. I have myself received it from my
bishop, the late good Bishop Walker, and have heard
him pronounce it on others. But whether the custom
of asking the bishop s blessing be past or not, the
form I speak of has become a reminiscence, and I
feel assured is not known even by some of our own
bishops. I shall give it to my readers as I received
it from the family of the late Bishop Walker of
Edinburgh :

" God Almighty bless thee with his Holy Spirit ;
Guard thee in thy going out and coming in ;
Keep thee ever in his faith and fear ;
Free from Sin, and safe from Danger."

I have been much pleased with a remark of my

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 67

friend, the Rev. W. Gillespie of the U, P. Church,
Edinburgh, upon this subject. He writes to me as fol
lows : " I read with particular interest the paragraph
on the subject of the Bishop s Blessing, for certainly
there seems to be in these days a general disbelief in
the efficacy of blessings, and a neglect or disregard
of the practice. If the spirit of God is in good men,
as He certainly is, then who can doubt the value and
the efficacy of the blessing which they bestow? I
remember being blessed by a very venerable minister,
John Dempster of Denny, while kneeling in his
study, shortly before I left this country to go to
China, and his prayer over me then was surely the
effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man. Its effect
upon me then and ever since will never be forgotten.
I quite agree with Mr. Gillespie on the point, and
think it not a good sign either of our religious belief
or religious feeling that such blessings should become
really a matter of reminiscence ; for if we are taught
to pray for one another, and if we are taught that
the " prayer of the righteous availeth much," surely
we ought to bless one another, and surely the blessing
of those who are venerable in the church from their
position, their age, and their piety, may be expected
to avail as an aid and incentive to piety in those
who in God s name are so blest. It has struck
me that on a subject closely allied with religious
feelings a great change has taken place in Scotland
during a period of less than fifty years I mean the
attention paid to cemeteries as depositories of the
mortal remains of those who have departed. In my
early days I never recollect seeing any efforts made
Cor the embellishment and adornment of our church
yards ; if tolerably secured by fences, enough had
been done. The English and Welsh practices of

68 REMINISCENCES OF

planting flowers, keeping the turf smooth and dressed
over the graves of friends, were quite unknown. In
deed, I suspect such attention fifty years ago would
have been thought by the sterner Presbyterians as
somewhat savouring of superstition. The account
given by Sir W. Scott, in " Guy Mannering," of an
Edinburgh burial-place, was universally applicable to
Scottish sepulchres.* A very different state of
matters has grown up within the last few years.
Cemeteries and churchyards are now as carefully orna
mented in Scotland as in England. Shrubs, flowers,
smooth turf, and neatly-kept gravel walks, are a
pleasing accompaniment to head- stones, crosses, and
varied forms of monumental memorials, in freestone,
marble, and granite. Nay, more than these, not
unfrequently do we see an imitation of French senti
ment, in wreaths of " everlasting placed over graves
as emblems of immortality ; and in more than one of
our Edinburgh cemeteries I have seen these enclosed
in glass cases to preserve them from the effects of
wind and rain.

In consequence of neglect, the unprotected state of
churchyards was evident from the number of stories
in circulation connected with the circumstance of
timid and excited passengers going amongst the tombs
of the village. The following, amongst others, has
been communicated. The locale of the story is un
known, but it is told of a weaver who, after enjoying

* " This was a square enclosure iu the Greyfriars Churchyard,
guarded on one side by a veteran angel without a nose, and hav
ing only one wing, who had the merit of having maintained his
post for a century, while his comrade cherub, who had stood
sentinel on the corresponding pedestal, lay a broken trunk,
among the hemlock, burdock, and nettles, which grew in gigan
tic luxuriance around the walls of the mausoleum."

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 6J

his potations, pursued his way home through the
churchyard, his vision and walking somewhat im
paired. As he proceeded he diverged from the path,
and unexpectedly stumbled into a partially made
grave, Stunned for a while, he lay in wonder at his
descent, and after some time he got out, but he had
not proceeded much farther when a similar calamity
befell him. At this second fall, he was heard, in a
tone of wonder and surprise, to utter the following
exclamation, referring to what he considered the un-
tenanted graves : " Ay ! ir ye a 1 up an* awa T J

The kindly feelings and interest of the pastoral
relation always formed a very pleasing intercourse
between minister and people. I have received from
an anonymous correspondent an anecdote illustrative
of this happy connection, for which he vouches as
authentic :

John Brown, Burgher minister at Whitburn (son
of the commentator, and father of the late Rev. Dr. John
Brown of Edinburgh, and grandfather of the present
accomplished M.D. of the same name, author of " Rab
and his Friends," etc.), in the early part of the century
was travelling on a small sheltie* to attend the
summer sacrament at Haddington. Between Mus-
selburgh and Tranent he overtook one of his own
people. " What are ye daein here, Janet, and whaur
ye gaun in this warm weather 1 ?" " Deed, sir," quo
Janet, "Tin gaun to Haddington for ilu occasion^ an
expeck to hear ye preach this efternoon." "Very
weel, Janet, but whaur ye gaun tae sleep?" "I
dinna ken, sir, but Providence is aye kind, an ll pro
vide a bed." On Mr. Brown jogged, but kindly
thought of his humble follower; accordingly, after
service in the afternoon, before pronouncing the bless-

* A Shetland pony. f The Lord s Supper.

M

70 REMINISCENCES OF

ing, lie said from the pulpit, "Whaur s the auld
wifie that followed me frae Whitburn?" "Here
I m, sir," uttered a shrill voice from a back seat.
" Aweel," said Mr. Brown, u I have fand ye a bed ;
ye re to sleep wi Johnnie Fife s lass."

There was at all times amongst the older Scottish
peasantry a bold assertion of their religious opinions,
and strong expression of their feelings. The spirit
of the Covenanters lingered amongst the aged people
whom I remember, but which time has considerably
softened down. We have some recent authentic in
stances of this readiness in Scotsmen to bear testi
mony to their principles :

A friend has informed me that the late Lord
Eutherfurd often told with much interest of a rebuke
which he received from a shepherd, near Bonaly,
amongst the Pentlands. He had entered into con
versation with him, and was complaining bitterly of
the weather, which prevented him enjoying his visit
to the country, and said hastily and unguardedly,

" What a d d mist ! " and then expressed his

wonder how or for what purpose there should have
been such a thing created as east wind. The
shepherd, a tall, grim figure, turned sharp round
upon him. " What ails ye at the mist, sir 1 it weets
the sod, it slockens the yowes, and" adding with
much solemnity " it s God s wull ;" and turned away
with lofty indignation. Lord Eutherfurd used to
repeat this with much candour as a fine specimen of
a rebuke from a sincere and simple mind.

There was something very striking in the homely,
quaint, and severe expressions on religious subjects
which marked the old-fashioned piety of persons
shadowed forth in Sir Walter Scott s Davie Deans.
We may add to the rebuke of the shepherd of Bonaly

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 71

of Lord Rutherfurd s remark about the east wind, his
answer to Lord Cockburn, the proprietor of Bonaly.
He was sitting on the hill-side with the shepherd, and
observing the sheep reposing in the coldest situation,
he observed to him, " John, if I were a sheep, I
would lie on the other side of the hill." The
shepherd answered, " Ay, my lord, but if ye had been
a sheep ye would hae had mair sense."

Of such men as this shepherd were formed the
elders a class of men who were marked by strong
features of character, and who, in former times, bore
a distinguished part in all church matters.

The old Scottish elder was in fact quite as dif
ferent a character from the modern elder, as the old
Scottish minister was from the modern pastor. These
good men were not disposed to hide their lights, and
perhaps sometimes encroached a little upon the office
of the minister. A clergyman had been remarking
to one of his elders that he was unfortunately invited
to two funerals on one day, and that they were fixed
for the same hour. " Weel, sir," answered the elder,
k if ye ll tak the tane I ll tak the tither."

Some of the elders were great humorists and
originals in their way. An elder of the kirk at
Mu thill used to manifest his humour and originality
by his mode of collecting the alms. As he went
round with the ladle, he reminded such members of
the congregation as seemed backward in their duty,
by giving them a poke with the " brod," and making,
in an audible whisper, such remarks as these " Wife at
the braid mailin, mind the puir ;" " Lass wi the braw
plaid, mind the puir," etc., a mode of collecting which
marks rather a bygone state of things. But on no
question was the old Scottish disciplinarian, whether
elder or not. more sure to raise his testimony than on

KEXINISCENCES OF

anything connected with a desecration of the Sabbath,
In this spirit was the rebuke given to an eminent
geologist, when visiting in the Highlands : The
professor was walking on the hills one Sunday
morning, and partly from the effect of habit, and
partly from not adverting to the very strict notions
of Sabbath desecration entertained in Ross-shire, had
his pocket hammer in hand, and was thoughtlessly
breaking the specimens of minerals he picked up by
the way. Under these circumstances, he was met by
an old man steadily pursuing his way to his church.
For some time the patriarch observed the move
ments of the geologist, and at length, going up to
him, quietly said, "Sir, ye re breaking something
there forbye the stanes !

The same feeling, under a more fastidious form, was
exhibited to a traveller by a Scottish peasant : An
English artist travelling professionally through Scot
land, had occasion to remain over Sunday in a small
town in the north. To while away the time, he walked
out a short way in the environs, where the picturesque
ruin of a castle met his eye. He asked a countryman
who was passing to be so good as tell him the name
of the castle. The reply was somewhat startling
" It s no the day to be speerin sic things ! "

A manifestation of even still greater strictness on
the subject of Sabbath desecration, I have received
from a relative of the family in which it occurred.
About fifty years ago the Hon. Mrs. Stewart lived in
Heriot Row, who had a cook, Jeannie by name, a
paragon of excellence. One Sunday morning when
her daughter (afterwards Lady Elton) went into the
kitchen, she was surprised to find a new jack (recently
ordered and which was constructed on the principle
of goiag constantly without winding up) wholly para*

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 73

lysed and useless. Miss Stewart naturally inquired
what accident had happened to the new jack, as it
had stopped. The mystery was soon solved by Jeannie
indignantly exclaiming that " she was nae gaeing to
hae the fule thing clocking and rinning about in her
kitchen a* the blessed Sabbath dav."

tf

There sometimes appears to have been in our country
men an undue preponderance of zeal for Sabbath
observance as compared with the importance attached
to other religious duties, and especially as compared
with the virtue of sobriety. The following dialogue
between Mr. Macnee of Glasgow, the celebrated artist,
and an old Highland acquaintance whom he had met
with unexpectedly, will illustrate the contrast between
the severity of judgment passed upon treating the
Sabbath with levity and the lighter censure attached
to indulgence in whisky. Mr. Macnee begins, "Donald,
what brought you here?" "Ou, weel, sir, it was a
baad place yon ; they were baad folk but they re a
God-fearin set o folk here !" "Well, Donald," said
Mr. M., " I m glad to hear it." " Ou ay, sir, deed
are they ; an I ll gie ye an instance o t. Last Sabbath,
just as the kirk was skailin, there was a drover chield
frae Dumfries comin along the road whustlin, an
lookin as happy as if it was ta middle o ta week ;
weel, sir, oor laads is a God-fearin set o laads, an
they were just comin oot o the kirk od they yokit
upon him, an* a most killed him !" Mr. M., to whom
their zeal seemed scarcely sufficiently well directed to
merit his approbation, then asked Donald whether it
had been drunkenness that induced the depravity of his
former neighbours 1 " Weel, weel, sir," said Donald,
with some hesitation, " may-be ; I ll no say but it
micht." "Depend upon it," said Mr. M., "it s a bad
thing whisky.* "Weel, weel. sir," replied Donald,

74 REMINISCENCES OF

" 111 no say but it may ;" adding in a very decided
tone " speecialiie baad whusky !"

I do not know any anecdote which illustrates in a
more striking and natural manner the strong feeling
which exists in the Scottish mind on this subject. At
a certain time, the hares in the neighbourhood of a
Scottish burgh had, from the inclemency of the season
or from some other cause, become emboldened more
than usual to approach the dwelling-places of men ;
so much so that on one Sunday morning a hare was
seen skipping along the street as the people were go
ing to church. An old man, spying puss in this un
usual position, significantly remarked, " Ay, yon beast
kens weel it is the Sabbath-day ;" taking it for granted
that no one in the place would be found audacious
enough to hurt the animal on a Sunday.

Lady Macneil supplies an excellent pendant to Miss
Stewart s story about the jack going on the Sunday.
Her henwife had got some Dorking fowls, and on
Lady M. asking if they were laying many eggs, she
replied, with great earnestness, "Indeed my leddy,
they lay every day, no excepting the blessed Sabbath."

There were, however, old persons at that time who
were not quite so orthodox on the point of Sabbath
observance ; and of these a lady residing in Dumfries
was known often to employ her wet Sundays in ar
ranging her wardrobe. "Preserve us!" she said on
one occasion, " anither gude Sunday ! I dinna ken
whan I ll get thae drawers redd up."

In connection with the awful subject of death and
all its concomitants, it has been often remarked that
the older generation of Scottish people used to view
the circumstances belonging to the decease of their
nearest and dearest friends with a coolness which does
not at first sight seem consistent with their deep and

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 75

sincere religious impressions. Amongst the peasantry
this was sometimes manifested in an extraordinary
and startling manner. I do not believe that those
persons had less affection for their friends than a cor
responding class in England, but they had less awe
of the concomitants of death, and approached them
with more familiarity. For example, I remember
long ago at Fasque, my sister-in-law visiting a worthy
and attached old couple, of whom the husband, Charles
Duncan, who had been gardener at Fasque for above
thirty years was evidently dying. He was sitting on
a common deal chair, and on my sister proposing to
send down for his use an old arm-chair which she re
collected was laid up in a garret, his wife exclaimed
against such a needless trouble : " Hout, my leddy,
what would he be duin wi an arm-chair? he s just
deem fast awa." I have two anecdotes, illustrative
of the same state of feeling, from a lady of ancient
Scottish family accustomed to visit her poor depend
ants on the property, and to notice their ways. She
was calling at a decent cottage, and found the occu
pant busy carefully ironing out some linens. The lady
remarked, " Those are fine linens you have got there,
Janet." "Troth, mem," was the reply, "they re just
the gudeman s deed claes, and there are nane better
i the parish." On another occasion, when visiting
an excellent woman, to condole with her on the death
of her nephew, with whom she had lived, and whose
loss must have been severely felt by her, she remarked,
; What a nice white cap you have got, Margaret."
" Indeed, mem, ay, sae it is ; for ye see the gude lad s
winding sheet was ower lang, and I cut aff as muckle
as made twa bonny mutches (caps).

There certainly was a quaint and familiar manner
in which sacred and solemn subjects were referred to

76 REMINISCENCES OF

by the older Scottish race, who did not mean to
be irreverent, but who no doubt appeared so to a
more refined but not really a more religious genera
tion.

It seems to me that this plainness of speech arose
in part from the sincerity of their belief in all the
circumstances of another condition of being. They
spoke of things hereafter as positive certainties, and
viewed things invisible through the same medium as
they viewed things present. The following is illustra
tive of such a state of mind, and I am assured of its
perfect authenticity and literal correctness: "Joe
MTherson and his wife lived in Inverness. They had
two sons, who helped their father in his trade of a smith.
They were industrious and careful, but not successful.
The old man had bought a house, leaving a large part
of the price unpaid. It was the ambition of his life
to pay off that debt, but it was too much for him,
and he died in the struggle. His sons kept on the
business with the old industry, and with better for
tune. At last their old mother fell sick, and told her
sons she was dying, as in truth she was. The elder
son said to her, l Mother, you ll soon be with my
father ; no doubt you ll have much to tell him ; but
dinna forget this, mother, mind ye, tell him the house
is freed. He ll be glad to hear that. 1

A similar feeling is manifest in the following con
versation, which, I am assured, is authentic : At
Hawick the people used to wear wooden clogs, which
make a clanking noise on the pavement. A dying
old woman had some friends by her bed-side, who
said to her, " Weel, Jenny, ye are gaun to heeven, an
gin you should see oor folk, you can tell them that
we re a weel." To which Jenny replied, " Weel, gin
I should see them Tse tell them, but you manna ex-

THE WEAVER
From a water-colour drawing ly

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A. R.S.1V

SCOTTISH LIFE 4 CHARACTER. 77

pect that I am to gang clank clanking through heevan
looking for your folk."

But of all stories of this class, I think the following
death-bed conversation between a Scottish husband
and wife is about the richest specimen of a dry Scot
tish matter-of-fact view of a very serious question :
An old shoemaker in Glasgow was sitting by the bed
side of his wife, who was dying. She took him by
the hand. "Weel, John, we re gawin to part. I
hae been a gude wife to you, John." " Oh, just
middling, just middling, Jenny," said John, not dis
posed to commit himself. "John," says she, "ye
maun promise to bury me in the auld kirk-yard at
StraVon, beside my mither. I couldna rest in peace
among unco folk, in the dirt and smoke o Glasgow."
"Weel, weel, Jenny, my woman," said John sooth
ingly, " we ll just pit you in the Gorbals first, and gin
ye dinna lie quiet, we ll try you sine in Stra von."

The same unimaginative and matter-of-fact view of
things connected with the other world extended to a
very youthful age, as in the case of a little boy who,
when told of heaven, put the question, "An will
faather be there?" His instructress answered, "of
course, she hoped he would be there;" to which he
sturdily at once replied, "Then I ll no gang."

We might apply these remarks in some measure to
the Scottish pulpit ministrations of an older school, in
which a minuteness of detail and a quaintness of ex
pression were quite common, but which could not now
be tolerated. I have two specimens of such antiquated
language, supplied by correspondents, and I am assured
they are both genuine.

The first is from a St. Andrews professor, who is
stated to be a great authority in such narratives.

In one of our northern counties, a rural district had

7S REMINISCENCES OF

its harvest operations affected by continuous rains.
The crops being much laid, wind was desired in order
to restore them to a condition fit for the sickle. A
minister, in his Sabbath services, expressed their want
in prayer as follows : " Lord, we pray thee to
send us wind ; no a rantin tantin tearin wind, but a
noohin (noughin 1) soughin winnin wind." More
expressive words than these could not be found in any
language.

The other story relates to a portion of the Presby
terian service on sacramental occasions, called " fencing
the tables," i.e. prohibiting the approach of those who
were unworthy to receive.

This fencing of the tables was performed in the
following effective manner by an old divine, whose
flock transgressed the third commandment, not in a
gross and loose manner, but in its minor details : " I
debar all those who use such minced oaths as faith !
troth ! losh ! gosh ! and lovanendie !"

These men often showed a quiet vein of humour in
their prayers, as in the case of the old minister of the
Canongate, who always prayed, previous to the meeting
of the General Assembly, that the Assembly might
be so guided as " no to do ony harm. 1

A circumstance connected with Scottish church dis
cipline has undergone a great change in my time I
mean the public censure from the pulpit, in the time
of divine service, of offenders previously convicted be
fore the minister and his kirk-session. This was per
formed by the guilty person standing up before the
congregation on a raised platform, called the cutty stool,
and receiving a rebuke. I never saw it done, but
have heard in my part of the country of the discipline
being enforced occasionally. Indeed, I recollect an
instance where the rebuke was thus administered and

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 7S

received under circumstances of a touching character,
and which made it partake of the moral sublime. The
daughter of the minister had herself committed an
offence against moral purity, such as usually called
forth this church censure. The minister peremptorily
refused to make her an exception to his ordinary
practice. His child stood up in the congregation, and
received, from her agonised father, a rebuke similar
to that administered to other members of his congre
gation for a like offence. The spirit of the age became
unfavourable to the practice. The rebuke on the cutty
stool, like the penance in a white sheet in England,
went out of use, and the circumstance is now a matter
of " reminiscence." I have received some communica
tions on the subject, which bear upon this point ; and I
subjoin the folio wing remarks from a kind correspond
ent, a clergyman, to whom I am largely indebted,
as indicating the great change which has taken place
in this matter.

"Church discipline," he writes, "was much more
vigorously enforced in olden time than it is now. A
certain couple having been guilty of illicit intercourse,
and also within the forbidden degrees of consangui
nity, appeared before the Presbytery of Lanark, and
made confession in sackcloth. They were ordered to
return to their own session, and to stand at the kirk-
door, barefoot and barelegged, from the second bell to
the last, and thereafter in the public place of repent
ance ; and, at direction of the session, thereafter to
go through the whole kirks of the presbytery, and to
satisfy them in like manner. If such penance were
now enforced for like offences, I believe the registra
tion books of many parishes in Scotland would be
come more creditable in certain particulars than they
unfortunately are at the present time."

80 REMINISCENCES OP

But there was a less formidable ecclesiastical cen
sure occasionally given by the minister from the
pulpit against lesser misdemeanours, which took place
under his own eye, such as levity of conduct or sleep
ing in church. A most amusing specimen of such
censure was once inflicted by the minister upon his
own wife for an offence not in our day visited with
so heavy a penalty. The clergyman had observed
one of his flock asleep during his sermon. He paused,
and called him to order. "Jeems Robson, ye are
sleepin ; I insist on your wauking when God s word
is preached to ye." " Weel, sir, you may look at your
ain seat, and ye ll see a sleeper forbye me," answered
Jeems, pointing to the clergyman s lady in the minis
ter s pew. " Then, Jeems," said the minister, " when
ye see my wife asleep again, haud up your hand."
By and by the arm was stretched out, and sure enough
the fair lady was caught in the act. Her husband
solemnly called upon her to stand up and receive the
censure due to her offence. He thus addressed
her :- - u Mrs. B., a body kens that when I got ye for
my wife, I got nae beauty ; yer frien s ken that
I got nae siller ; and if I dinna get God s grace, I
shall hae a puir bargain indeed."

The quaint and original humour of the old Scottish
minister came out occasionally in the more private
services of his vocation as well as in church. As the
whole service, whether for baptisms or marriages, is
supplied by the clergyman officiating, there is more
scope for scenes between the parties present than at
similar ministrations by a prescribed form. Thus, a
late minister of Caithness, when examining a member
of his flock, who was a butcher, in reference to the
baptism of his child, found him so deficient in what
he considered the needful theological knowledge, that

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 81

he said to him, " Ah, Sandy, I doubt ye re no lit to
hand up the bairn." Sandy, conceiving that reference
was made not to spiritual but to physical incapacity,
answered indignantly, " Hout, minister, I could haud
him up an he were a twa-year-auld stirk." * A late
humorous old minister, near Peebles, who had strong
feelings on the subject of matrimonial happiness, thus
prefaced the ceremony by an address to the parties who
came to him : " My friends, marriage is a blessing
to a few, a curse to many, and a great uncertainty to
all. Do ye venture ?" After a pause, he repeated with
great emphasis, " Do ye venture ?" No objection being
made to the venture, he then said, " Let s proceed."

The old Scottish hearers were very particular on the
subject of their minister s preaching old sermons ; and
to repeat a discourse which they could recollect was
always made a subject of animadversion by those who
heard it. A beadle, who was a good deal of a wit in
his way, gave a sly hit in his pretended defence of
his minister on the question. As they were proceed
ing from church, the minister observed the beadle had
been laughing as if he had triumphed over some of the
parishioners with whom he had been in conversation.
On asking the cause of this, he received for answer.
" Dod, sir, they were saying ye had preached an auld
sermon to-day, but I tackled them, for I tauld them
it was no an auld sermon, for the minister had preach
ed it no sax months syne."

I remember the minister of Banchory, Mr. Gregory,
availed himself of the feelings of his people on this sub
ject for the purpose of accomplishing a particular ob
ject. During the building of the new church the
service had to be performed in a schoolroom, which
did not nearly hold the congregation. The object was

* Bullock.

82 REMINISCENCES OF

to get part of the parish to attend in the morning,
and part in the afternoon. Mr. Gregory prevented
those who had attended in the morning from return
ing in the afternoon by just giving them, as he said,
" cauld kail het again."

It is somewhat remarkable, however, that, notwith
standing this feeling in the matter of a repetition of
old sermons, there was amongst a large class of Scot
tish preachers of a former day such a sameness of
subject as really sometimes made it difficult to dis
tinguish the discourse of one Sunday from amongst
others. These were entirely doctrinal, and however
they might commence, after the opening or intro
duction hearers were certain to find the preacher
falling gradually into the old channel. The fall of
man in Adam, his restoration in Christ, justification
by faith, and the terms of the new covenant, formed
the staple of each sermon, and without which it was
not in fact reckoned complete as an orthodox exposi
tion of Christian doctrine. Without omitting the
essentials of Christian instruction, preachers now take
a wider view of illustrating and explaining the gospel
scheme of salvation and regeneration, without constant
recurrence to the elemental and fundamental principles
of the faith. From my friend Dr. Cook of Haddington
(who it is well known has a copious stock of old Scotch

traditionary anecdotes) I have an admirable illustration

> /

of this state of things as regards pulpit instruction.

"Much of the preaching of the Scotch clergy," Dr.
Cook observes, " in the last century, was almost exclu
sively doctrinal the fall : the nature, the extent, and
the application of the remedy. In the hands of able
men, no doubt, there might be much variety of exposi
tion, but with weaker or indolent men preaching
extempore, or without notes, it too often ended in a

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 33

weekly repetition of what had been already said. An
old elder of mine, whose recollection might reach back
from sixty to seventy years, said to me one day, * Now-
a-days, people make a work if a minister preach the
same sermon over again in the course of two or three
years. When I was a boy, we would have wondered

if old Mr. W had preached anything else than

what we heard the Sunday before. My old friend
used to tell of a clergyman who had held forth on
the broken covenant till his people longed for a
change. The elders waited on him to intimate their
wish. They were examined on their knowledge of
the subject, found deficient, rebuked, and dismissed,
but after a little while they returned to the charge,
and the minister gave in. Next Lord s day he read
a large portion of the history of Joseph and his
brethren, as the subject of a lecture. He paraphrased
it, greatly, no doubt, to the detriment of the original,
but much to the satisfaction of his people, for it was
something new. He finished the paraphrase, and
now, says he, my friends, we shall proceed to draw
some lessons and inferences ; and, 1st, you will observe
that the sacks of Joseph s brethren were ripit, and in
them was found the cup ; so your sacks will be ripit
at the day of judgment, and the first thing found in
them will be the broken covenant ; and having gain
ed this advantage, the sermon went off into the usual
strain, and embodied the usual heads of elementary
dogmatic theology."

In connection with this topic, I have a communi
cation from a correspondent, who remarks The story
about the minister and his favourite theme, " the bro
ken covenant," reminds me of one respecting another
minister whose staple topics of discourse were " Justi
fication, Adoption, and Sanetifwation." Into every

84 REMINISCENCES OF

sermon he preached, he managed, by hook or by crook,
to force these three heads, so that his general method
of handling every text was not so much expositio as
impositio. He was preaching on these words " Is
Ephraim my dear son 1 Is he a pleasant child ] " and
he soon brought the question into the usual formula
by adding, Ephraim was a pleasant child first, because
he was a justified child ; second, because he was an
adopted child ; and third, because he was a sanctified
child.

It should be remembered, however, that the Scottish
peasantry themselves I mean those of the older
school delighted in expositions of doctrinal subjects,
and in fact were extremely jealous of any minister
who departed from their high standard of orthodox
divinity, by selecting subjects which involved discus
sions of strictly moral or practical questions. It was
condemned under the epithet of legal preaching ; in
other words, it was supposed to preach the law as
independent of the gospel. A worthy old clergyman
having, upon the occasion of a communion Monday,
taken a text of such a character, was thus commented
on by an ancient dame of the congregation, who was
previously acquainted with his style of discourse :
" If there s an ill text in a the Bible, that creetur s
aye sure to tak it."

The great change the great improvement, I would
say which has taken place during the last half-cen
tury in the feelings and practical relations of religion
with social life is, that it has become more diffused
through all ranks and all characters. Before that
period many good sort of people were afraid of making
their religious views very prominent, and were always
separated from those who did. Persons who made a
profession at all beyond the low standard generally

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 85

adopted in society were marked out as objects of fear
or of distrust. The anecdote at page 65 regarding
the practice of family prayer fully proves this. Now
religious people and religion itself are not kept aloof
from the ordinary current of men s thoughts and ac
tions. There is no such marked line as used to be
drawn round persons who make a decided profession
of religion. Christian men and women have stepped
over the line, and, without compromising their
Christian principle, are not necessarily either morose,
uncharitable, or exclusive. The effects of the old
separation were injurious to men s minds. Religion
was with many associated with puritanism, with cant,
and unfitness for the world. The difference is marked
also in the style of sermons prevalent at the two
periods. There were sermons of two descriptions viz.,
sermons by "moderate " clergy, of a purely moral or
practical character ; and sermons purely doctrinal,
from those who were known as " evangelical " minis
ters. Hence arose an impression, and not unnaturally,
on many minds, that an almost exclusive reference
to doctrinal subjects, and a dread of upholding the
law, and of enforcing its more minute details, were
not favourable to the cause of moral rectitude and
practical holiness of life. This was hinted in a sly
way by a young member of the kirk to his father, a
minister of the severe and high Calvinistic school.
Old Dr. Lockhart of Glasgow was lamenting one day,
in the presence of his son John, the fate of a man who
had been found guilty of immoral practices, and the
more so that he was one of his own elders. " Well,
father," remarked his son, " you see what you ve driven
him to." In our best Scottish preaching at the pre
sent day no such distinction is visible.

The same feeling came forth with much point and

N

86 REMINISCENCES OF

humour on an occasion referred to in "Carlyle g
Memoirs." In a company where John Home and
David Hume were present, much wonder was expressed
what could have induced a clerk belonging to Sir
William Forbes bank to abscond, and embezzle 900.
" I know what it was," said Home to the historian ;
"for when he was taken there was found in his
pocket a volume of your philosophical works and
Boston s Fourfold State " a hit, 1st, at the infidel,
whose principles would have undermined Christianity ;
and 2d, a hit at the Church, which he was compelled
to leave on account of his having written the tragedy
of Douglas.

I can myself recollect an obsolete ecclesiastical
custom, and which was always practised in the church
of Fettercairn during my boyish days viz., that of
the minister bowing to the heritors in succession who
occupied the front gallery seats ; and I am assured
that this bowing from the pulpit to the principal
heritor or heritors after the blessing had been pro
nounced was very common in rural parishes till about
forty years ago, and perhaps till a still later period.
And when heritors chanced to be pretty equally
matched, there was sometimes an unpleasant contest
as to who was entitled to the precedence in having
the first bow. A case of this kind once occurred in
the parish of Lanark, which was carried so far as to
be laid before the Presbytery ; but they, not con
sidering themselves " competent judges of the points
of honour and precedency among gentlemen, and to
prevent all inconveniency in these matters in the
future, appointed the minister to forbear bowing to
the lairds at all from the pulpit for the time to come ;"
and they also appointed four of their number " to wait
upon the gentlemen, to deal with them, for bringing

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 87

them to condescend to submit hereunto, for the success
of the gospel and the peace of the parish."

In connection with this subject, we may mention a
ready and complimentary reply once made by the late
Reverend Dr. Wightman of Kirkmahoe, on being
rallied for his neglecting this usual act of courtesy one
Sabbath in his own church. The heritor who was
entitled to and always received this token of respect,
was Mr. Miller, proprietor of Dalswinton. One
Sabbath the Dalswinton pew contained a bevy of
ladies, but no gentlemen, and the Doctor perhaps
because he was a bachelor and felt a delicacy in the
circumstances omitted the usual salaam in their
direction. A few days after, meeting Miss Miller,
who was widely famed for her beauty, and who after
wards became Countess of Mar, she rallied him, in
presence of her companions, for not bowing to her
from the pulpit on the previous Sunday, and requested
an explanation ; when the good Doctor immediately
replied " I beg your pardon, Miss Miller, but you
surely know that angel-worship is not allowed in the
Church of Scotland ;" and lifting his hat, he made a
low bow, and passed on.

Scottish congregations, in some parts of the country,
contain an element in their composition quite unknown
in English churches. In pastoral parts of the country,
it was an established practice for each shepherd to
bring his faithful collie dog at least it was so some
years ago. In a district of Sutherland, where the
population is very scanty, the congregations are made
up one-half of dogs, each human member having his
canine companion. These dogs sit out the Gaelic
services and sermon with commendable patience, till
towards the end of the last psalm, when there is a
universal stretching and yawning, and all are prepared

88 REl^frNISCENCES OF

to scamper out, barking in a most excited manner
whenever the blessing is commenced. The congrega
tion of one of these churches determined that the
service should close in a more decorous manner, and
steps were taken to attain this object. Accordingly,
when a stranger clergyman was officiating, he found
the people all sitting when he was about to pronounce
the blessing. He hesitated, and paused, expecting
them to rise, till an old shepherd, looking up to
the pulpit, said, " Say awa , sir ; we re a* sittin to
cheat the dowgs."

There must have been some curious specimens of
Scottish humour brought out at the examinations or
catechisings by ministers of the flock before the ad
ministrations of the communion. Thus, with reference
to human nature before the fall, a man was asked,
"What kind of man was Adam?" " Ou, just like
ither fouk." The minister insisted on having a more
special description of the first man, and pressed for
more explanation. "Weel," said the catechumen,
"he was just like Joe Simson the horse-couper."
"How sol" asked the minister. "Weel, naebody
got ony thing by him, and mony lost."

A lad had come for examination previous to his
receiving his first communion. The pastor, knowing
that his young friend was not very profound in his
theology, and not wishing to discourage him, or keep
him from the table unless compelled to do so, began
by asking what he thought a safe question, and
what would give him confidence. So he took the Old
Testament, and asked him, in reference to the Mosaic
law, how many commandments there were. After a
little thought, he put his answer in the modest form
of a supposition, and replied, cautiously, "Aiblins*

* Perhaps.

SCOTTISH LIFE <t< CHARACTER. B9

a hunner." The clergyman was vexed, and told him
such ignorance was intolerable, that he could not
proceed in examination, and that the youth must
wait and learn more ; so he went away. On return
ing home he met a friend on his way to the manse,
and on learning that he too was going to the minister
for examination, shrewdly asked him, " Weel, what
will ye say 1100 if the minister speers hoo mony com
mandments there are ? v " Say ! why, I shall say ten
to be sure."- To which the other rejoined, with great
triumph, " Ten ! Try ye him wi ten ! I tried him
wi 1 a hunner, and he wasna satisfeed." Another
answer from a little girl was shrewd and reflective.
The question was, " Why did the Israelites make a
golden calf?" "They hadna as muckle siller as wad
rnak a coo."

A kind correspondent has sent me, from personal
knowledge, an admirable pendant to stories of Scottish
child acuteness and shrewd observation. A young
lady friend of his, resident in a part of Ayrshire
rather remote from any very satisfactory adminis
tration of the gospel, is in the habit of collecting the
children of the neighbourhood on Sundays at the
" big hoose," for religious instruction. On one
occasion the class had repeated the paraphrase of the
Lord s Prayer, which contains these lines

Give us this day our daily bread,
And raiments/ft provide."

There being no question as to what " daily bread
was, the teacher proceeded to ask : " What do you
understand by raiment fit, or as we might say, fit
raiment] For a short time the class remained
puzzled at the question ; but at last one little girl
sung out " stockings and shune." The child knew

90 REMINISCENCES OF

that " fit," was Scotch for feet, so her natural explana
tion of the phrase was equivalent to "feet raiment,"
or " stockings and shune," as she termed it.

On the point of changes in religious feelings there
comes within the scope of these Reminiscences a
character in Aberdeenshire, which has now gone out-
I mean the popular and universally well-received
Roman Catholic priest. Although we cannot say
that Scotland is a more PROTESTANT nation than it
was in past days, still religious differences, and strong
prejudices, seem at the present time to draw a more
decided line of separation between the priest and his
Protestant countrymen. As examples of what is
past, I would refer to the case of a genial Romish
bishop in Ross -shire. It is well known that private
stills were prevalent in the Highlands fifty or sixty
years ago, and no one thought there was any harm
in them. This good bishop, whose name I forget.
was (as I heard the late W. Mackenzie of Muirton
assure a party at Dunrobin Castle) several years pre
viously a famous hand at brewing a good glass of
whisky, and that he distributed his mountain-dew
with a liberal and impartial hand alike to Catholic
and to Protestant friends. Of this class, I recollect, cer
tainly forty-five years ago, Priest Gordon, a genuine
Aberdonian, and a man beloved by all, rich and poor.
He was a sort of chaplain to Menzies of Pitfodels,
and visited in all the country families round Aberdeen.
I remember once his being at Banchory Lodge, and
thus apologising to my aunt for going out of the
room : " I beg your pardon, Mrs. Forbes, for leaving
you, but I maun just gae doun to the garden and say
my bit wordies " these " bit wordies" being in fact
the portion of the Breviary which he was bound to

SCOTTISH LIFE <fe CHARACTER. 91

recite. So easily and pleasantly were those matters
then referred to.

The following, however, is a still richer illustra
tion, and I am assured it is genuine : " Towards the
end of the last century, a worthy Roman Catholic
clergyman, well known as Priest Matheson, and
universally respected in the district, had charge of a
mission in Aberdeenshire, and for a long time made
his journeys on a piebald pony, the priest and his
pyet shelty sharing an affectionate recognition
wherever they came. On one occasion, however, he
made his appearance on a steed of a different descrip
tion, and passing near a Seceding meeting-house, he
forgathered with the minister, who, after the usual
kindly greetings, missing the familiar pony, said, Ou,
Priest! fat s come o the auld Pyet? He s deid,
minister. Weel, he was an auld faithfu servant, and
ye wad nae doot gie him the offices o the church 1
Na, minister, said his friend, not quite liking this
allusion to his priestly offices, I didna dee that, for
ye see he turned Seceder afore he dedd, an 1 I burled
him like a beast. He then rode quietly away. This
worthy man, however, could, when occasion required,
rebuke with seriousness as well as point. Always a
welcome guest at the houses of both clergy and gentry,
he is said on one occasion to have met with a laird
whose hospitality he had thought it proper to decline,
and on being asked the reason for the interruption of
his visits, answered, ; Ye ken, an I ken ; but, laird.
God kens! "

One question connected with religious feeling, and
the manifestation of religious feeling, has become a
more settled point amongst us, since fifty years have
expired. I mean the question of attendance by
clergymen on theatrical representations. Dr. Carlyle

92 REMINISCENCES OF

had been prosecuted before the General Assembly in
1757 for being present at the performance of the
tragedy of Douglas, written by his friend John Home.
He was acquitted, however, and writes thus on the
subject in his Memoirs :

"Although the clergy in Edinburgh and its
neighbourhood had abstained from the theatre because
it gave offence, yet the more remote clergymen, when
occasionally in town, had almost universally attended
the play-house. It is remarkable that in the year
1784, when the great actress Mrs. Siddons first
appeared in Edinburgh, during the sitting of the
General Assembly, that court was obliged to fix all
its important business for the alternate days when
she did not act, as all the younger members, clergy
as well as laity, took their stations in the theatre
on those days by three in the afternoon."

Drs. Eobertson and Blair, although they cultivated
the acquaintance of Mrs. Siddons in private, were
amongst those clergymen, referred to by Dr. Carlyle,
who abstained from attendance in the theatre ; but
Dr. Carlyle states that they regretted not taking the
opportunity of witnessing a display of her talent, and
of giving their sanction to the theatre as a place of
recreation. Dr. Carlyle evidently considered it a
narrow-minded intolerance and bigoted fanaticism
that clergymen should be excluded from that amuse
ment. At a period far later than 1784, the same
opinion prevailed in some quarters. I recollect when
such indulgence on the part of clergymen was treated
with much leniency, especially for Episcopalian clergy,
I do not mean to say that there was anything like a
general feeling in favour of clerical theatrical attend
ance ; but there can be no question of a feeling far
less strict than what exists in our own time. As I

THE SHEPHERD
From a water-colour drawing fy

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.H-.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER 93

have said, thirty-six years ago some clergymen went
to the theatre ; and a few years before that, when my
brothers and I were passing through Edinburgh, in
going backwards and forwards to school, at Durham,
with our tutor, a licentiate of the Established Church
of Scotland, and who afterwards attained considerable
eminence in the Free Church, we certainly went with
him to the theatre there, and at Durham very fre
quently. I feel quite assured, however, that no clergy
man could expect to retain the respect of his people
or of the public, of whom it was known that he fre
quently or habitually attended theatrical representa
tions. It is so understood. I had opportunities of
conversing with the late Mr. Murray of the Theatre
Royal, Edinburgh, and with Mr. Charles Kean, on the
subject. Both admitted the fact, and certainly if any
men of the profession could have removed the feeling
from the public mind, these were the men to have
done it.

There is a phase of religious observances which has
undergone a great change amongst us within fifty
years I mean the services and circumstances con
nected with the administration of the Holy Commu
nion. When these occurred in a parish they were
called " occasions/ and the great interest excited by
these sacramental solemnities may be gathered from
" Peter s Letters," " The Annals of the Parish," and
Burns "Holy Fair." Such ceremonials are now con
ducted, I believe, just as the ordinary church services.
Some years back they were considered a sort of preach
ing matches. Ministers vied with each other in order
to bear away the bell in popularity, and hearers em
braced the opportunity of exhibiting to one another
their powers of criticism on what they heard and saw.
In the parish of Urr in Galloway, on one sacra-

94 EEMINISCENOES OF

mental occasion, some of the assistants invited were
eminent ministers in Edinburgh; Dr. Scot of St.
Michael s, Dumfries, was the only local one who was
asked, and he was, in his own sphere, very popular as
a preacher. A brother clergyman, complimenting
him upon the honour of being so invited, the old
bald-headed divine modestly replied, " Gude bless you,
man, what can I do ] They are a han wailed * this
time ; I need never show face among them." " Ye re
quite mista en," was the soothing encouragement ;
" tak your Resurrection (a well-known sermon used for
such occasions by him), an I ll lay my lug ye ll beat
every clute o them." The Doctor did as suggested,
and exerted himself to the utmost, and it appears he
did not exert himself in vain. A batch of old women,
on their way home after the conclusion of the services,
were overheard discussing the merits of the several
preachers who had that day addressed them from the
tent. " Leeze me abune them a j ," said one of the
company, who had waxed warm in the discussion,
" for yon auld clear-headed (bald) man, that said,
Kaphael sings an Gabriel strikes his goolden harp,
an a the angels clap their wings wi joy/ but it
was gran , it just put me in min o our geese at Dun-
jarg when they turn their nebs to the south an clap
their wings when they see the rain s comin after lang
drooth."

There is a subject closely allied with the religious
feelings of a people, and that is the subject of their
superstitions. To enter upon that question, in a general
view, especially in reference to the Highlands, would
not be consistent with our present purpose, but I am
induced to mention the existence of a singular super
stition regarding swine which existed some years ago

* Carefully selected.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 96

among the lower orders of the east coast of Fife. I
can observe, in my own experience, a great change to
have taken place amongst Scotch people generally on
this subject. The old aversion to the " unclean ani
mal " still lingers in the Highlands, but seems in the
Lowland districts to have yielded to a sense of its
thrift and usefulness.* The account given by my
correspondent of the Fife swinophobia is as follows :
Among the many superstitious notions and customs
prevalent among the lower orders of the fishing towns
on the east coast of Fife, till very recently, that class
entertained a great horror of swine, and even at the
very mention of the word. If that animal crossed
their path when about to set out on a sea voyage, they
considered it so unlucky an omen that they would not
venture off. A clergyman of one of these fishing
villages having mentioned the superstition to a clerical
friend, and finding that he was rather incredulous on
the subject, in order to convince him told him he
would allow him an opportunity of testing the truth
of it by allowing him to preach for him the following
day. It was arranged that his friend was to read the
chapter relating to the herd of swine into which the
evil spirits were cast. Accordingly, when the first
verse was read, in which the unclean beast was men
tioned, a slight commotion was observable among the
audience, each one of them putting his or her hand
on any near piece of iron a nail on the seat or book-
board, or to the nails on their shoes. At the repeti
tion of the word again and again, more commotion
was visible, and the words " cauld airn" (cold iron)
the antidote to this baneful spell, were heard issuing

* I recollect an old Scottish gentleman, who shared this horror,
asking very gravely, " Were not swine forbidden under the law
and cursed under the gospel ? "

96 REMINISCENCE* OF

from various corners of the church. And finally, on
his coming over the hated word again, when the whole
herd ran violently down the bank into the sea, the
alarmed parishioners, irritated beyond bounds, rose
and all left the church in a body.

It is some time now, however, since the High
landers have begun to appreciate the thrift and com
fort of swine-keeping and swine-killing. A Scottish
minister had been persuaded by the laird to keep a
pig, and the gudewife had been duly instructed in the
mysteries of black puddings, pork chops, and pig s
head. " Oh !" said the minister, " nae doubt there s
a hantle o miscellawneous eating aboot a pig."

Amongst a people so deeply impressed with the
great truths of religion, and so earnest in their reli
gious profession, any persons whose principles were
known to be of an infidel character would naturally
be looked on with abhorrence and suspicion. There
is a story traditionary in Edinburgh regarding David
Hume, which illustrates this feeling in a very amus
ing manner, and which, I have heard it said, Hume
himself often narrated. The philosopher had fallen
from the path into the swamp at the back of the
Castle, the existence of which I recollect hearing of
from old persons forty years ago. He fairly stuck
fast, and called to a woman who was passing, and
begged her assistance. She passed on apparently
without attending to the request ; at his earnest en
treaty, however, she came where he was, and asked
him, " Are na ye Hume the Atheist ? " " Well, well,
no matter," said Hume ; " Christian charity commands
you to do good to every one." " Christian charity
here, or Christian charity there," replied the woman.
" I ll do naething for you till ye turn a Christian
yoursell ye maun repeat the Lord s Prayer and the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. Vf

Creed, or faith I ll let ye grafel * there as I fand ye."
The historian, really afraid for his life, rehearsed the
required formulas.

Notwithstanding the high character borne for so
many years by our countrymen as a people, and as
specially attentive to all religious observances, still
there can be no doubt that there has sprung up
amongst the inhabitants of our crowded cities, wynds,
and closes, a class of persons quite unknown in the
old Scottish times. It is a great difficulty to get them
to attend divine worship at all, and their circumstances
combine to break off all associations with public services.
Their going to church becomes a matter of persuasion
and of missionary labour.

A lady, who is most active in visiting the houses
of these outcasts from the means of grace, gives me
an amusing instance of self-complacency arising from
performance of the duty. She was visiting in the
West Port, not far from the church established by my
illustrious friend the late Dr. Chalmers. Having asked
a poor woman if she ever attended there for divine
service "Ou ay," she replied ; "there s a man ca d
Chalmers preaches there, and I whiles gang in and
hear him, just to encourage him, puir body ! !

From the religious opinions of a people, the transi
tion is natural to their political partialities. One great
political change has passed over Scotland, which none
now living can be said to have actually witnessed;
but they remember those who were contemporaries of
the anxious scenes of 45, and many of us have known
determined and thorough Jacobites. The poetry of
that political period still remains, but we hear only as
pleasant songs those words and melodies which stirred
the hearts and excited the deep enthusiasm of a past

* Lie in a grovelling attitude. See Janneson.

tfg REMINISCENCES OF

generation. Jacobite anecdotes also are fading from
our knowledge. To many young persons they are
unknown. Of these stories illustrative of Jacobite
feelings and enthusiasm, many are of a character not
fit for me to record. The good old ladies who were
violent partisans of the Stuarts had little hesitation
in referring without reserve to the future and eternal
destiny of William of Orange. One anecdote which I
had from a near relative of the family may be ad
duced in illustration of the powerful hold which the
cause had upon the views and consciences of Jacobites.

A former Mr. Stirling of Keir had favoured the
Stuart cause, and had in fact attended a muster of
forces at the Brig of Turk previous to the 15. This
symptom of a rising against the Government occasioned
some uneasiness, and the authorities were very active
in their endeavours to discover who were the leaders
of the movement. Keir was suspected. The miller
of Keir was brought forward as a witness, and swore
positively that the laird was not present. Now, as it
was well known that he was there, and that the miller
knew it, a neighbour asked him privately, when he
came out of the witness-box, how he could on oath
assert such a falsehood. The miller replied, quite un
daunted, and with a feeling of confidence in the right
eousness of his cause approaching the sublime "I
would rather trust my soul in God s mercy than Keir s
head into their hands."

A correspondent has sent me an account of a curious
ebullition of Jacobite feeling and enthusiasm, now I
suppose quite extinct. My correspondent received it
himself from Alexander, fourth Duke of Gordon, and
he had entered it in a commonplace-book when he
heard it, in 1826.

" David Tulloch, tenant in Drumbenan, under the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. OD

second and third Dukes of Gordon, had been * out in
the 45 or the fuj teen, or both and was a great
favourite of his respective landlords. One day, hav
ing attended the young Lady Susan Gordon (after
wards Duchess of Manchester) to the Chapel at
Himtly, David, perceiving that her ladyship had
neither hassock nor carpet to protect her garments
from the earthen floor, respectfully spread his plaid
for the young lady to kneel upon, and the service pro
ceeded ; but when the prayer for the King and Royal
Family was commenced, David, sans cerfanonie, drew,
or rather twitched, the plaid from under the knees
of the astonished young lady, exclaiming, not sotto
voce, * The deil a ane shall pray for them on my plaid !

I have a still more pungent demonstration against
praying for the king, which a friend in Aberdeen as
sures me he received from the son of the gentleman
who heard the protest. In the Episcopal Chapel in
Aberdeen, of which Primus John Skinner was incum
bent, they commenced praying in the service for
George III. immediately on the death of Prince
Charles Edward. On the first Sunday of the prayer
being used, this gentleman s father, walking home
with a friend whom he knew to be an old and deter
mined Jacobite, said to him, " What do you think of

that, Mr. ?" The reply was, "Indeed, the less

we say aboot that prayer the better." But he was
pushed for " further answer as to his own views and
his own ideas on the matter," so he came out with
the declaration, " Weel, then, I say this they may
pray the kenees* aff their breeks afore I join in that
prayer."

The following is a characteristic Jacobite story. It
must have happened shortly after 1745, when all

* So pronounced in Aberdeen.

100 REMINISCENCES OF

manner of devices were fallen upon to display Jaco-
bitism, without committing the safety of the Jacobite,
such as having white knots on gowns ; drinking, " The
king, ye ken wha I mean ;" uttering the toast "The
king," with much apparent loyalty, and passing the
glass over the water-jug, indicating the esoteric mean
ing of majesty beyond the sea, etc. etc. ; and various
toasts, which were most important matters in those
times, and were often given as tests of loyalty, or the
reverse, according to the company in which they were
given. Miss Carnegy of Craigo, well known and still
remembered amongst the old Montrose ladies as an
uncompromising Jacobite, had been vowing that she
would drink King James and his son in a company
of staunch Brunswickers, and being strongly dis
suaded from any such foolish and dangerous attempt
by some of her friends present, she answered them
with a text of Scripture, " The tongue no man can
tame James Third and Aucht" and drank off her
glass !*

* Implying that there was a James Third of England, Eighth
of Scotland,

SCOTTISH LIFE d- CHARACTER 101

CHAPTER THE THIRD.

ON OLD SCOTTISH CONVIVIALITY.

THE next change in manners which has been effected,
in the memory of many now living, regards the habits
of conviviality, or, to speak more plainly, regards the
banishment of drunkenness from polite society. It is
indeed a most important and blessed change. But it
is a change the full extent of which many persons
now alive can hardly estimate. Indeed, it is scarcely
possible to realise the scenes which took place seventy
or eighty years back, or even less. In many houses,
when a party dined, the ladies going away was the
signal for the commencement of a system of compulsory
conviviality. No one was allowed to shirk no day
light no heeltaps was the wretched jargon in which
were expressed the propriety and the duty of seeing
that the glass, when filled, must be emptied and
drained. We have heard of glasses having the
bottoms knocked off, so that no shuffling tricks might
be played with them, and that they could only be put
down empty.

One cannot help looking back with amazement at
the infatuation which could for a moment tolerate
such a sore evil. To a man of sober inclinations it
must have been an intolerable nuisance to join a
dinner party at many houses, where he knew he should
have to witness the most disgusting excesses in others,

o

102 REMINISCENCES OF

and to fight hard to preserve himself from a compliance
with the example of those around him.

The scenes of excess which] occurred in the houses
where deep drinking was practised must have been
most revolting to sober persons who were unaccustomed
to such conviviality; as in the case of a drinking Angus
laird, entertaining as his guest a London merchant
of formal manners and temperate habits. The poor
man was driven from the table when the drinking set
in hard, and stole away to take refuge in his bedroom.
The company, however, were determined not to let
the worthy citizen off so easily, but proceeded in a
body, with the laird at their head, and invaded his
privacy by exhibiting bottles and glasses at his bed
side. Losing all patience, the wretched victim gasped
out his indignation "Sir, your hospitality borders
upon brutality." It must have had a fatal influence also
on many persons to whom drinking was most injuri
ous, and who were yet not strong-minded enough to
resist the temptations to excess. Poor James Boswell,
who certainly required no extraordinary urging to
take a glass too much, is found in his letters, which
have recently come to light, laying the blame of his
excesses to " falling into a habit which still prevails in
Scotland ; and then he remarks, with censorious
emphasis, on the " drunken manners of his country
men." This was about 1770.

A friend of mine, however, lately departed Mr.
Boswell of Balmuto showed more spirit than the
Londoner, when he found himself in a similar situation.
Challenged by the host to drink, urged and almost
forced to swallow a quantity of wine against his own
inclination, he proposed a counter-challenge in the way
of eating, and made the following ludicrous arid
original proposal to the company, that two or three

SCOTTISH LIFE <fr CHARACTER. 108

legs of mutton should be prepared, and he would then
contest the point of who could devour most meat ;
and certainly it seems as reasonable to compel people to
eat, as to compel them to drink, beyond the natural
cravings of nature.

The situation of ladies, too, must frequently have
been very disagreeable- -when, for instance, gentlemen
came up stairs in a condition most unfit for female
society. Indeed they were often compelled to fly
from scenes which were most unfitting for them to
witness. They were expected to get out of the way at
the proper time, or when a hint was given them to do
so. At Glasgow sixty years ago, when the time had
come for the bowl to be introduced, some jovial and
thirsty members of the company proposed as a toast,
" The trade of Glasgow and the outward bound ! The
hint was taken, and silks and satins moved off to the
drawing-room.

In my part of the country the traditionary stories
of drinking prowess are quite marvellous. On Deeside
there flourished a certain Saunders Paul (whom I re
member an old man), an innkeeper at Banchory. He
was said to have drunk whisky, glass for glass, to the
claret of Mr. Maule and the Laird of Skene for a
whole evening ; and in those days there was a tradi
tional story of his despatching, at one sitting, in com
pany with a character celebrated for conviviality
one of the men employed to float rafts of timber
down the Dee three dozen of porter. Of this Mr.
Paul it was recorded, that on being asked if he con
sidered porter as a wholesome beverage, he replied,
" Oh yes, if you don t take above a dozen." Saunders
Paul was, as I have said, the innkeeper at Banchory
his friend and porter companion was drowned in the
Dee, and when told that the body had been found

104 REMINISCENCES OF

down the stream below Crathes, he coolly remarked,
" I am surprised at that, for I never kenn d him pass
the inn before without comin in for a glass."

Some relatives of mine travelling in the Highlands
were amused by observing in a small road-side public-
house a party drinking, whose apparatus for convivi
ality called forth the dry quaint humour which is so
thoroughly Scottish. Three drovers had met together,
and were celebrating their meeting by a liberal con
sumption of whisky ; the inn could only furnish one
glass without a bottom, and this the party passed on
from one to another. A queer-looking pawky chield,
whenever the glass came to his turn, remarked most
gravely, "I think we wadna be the waur o some
water," taking care, however, never to add any of the
simple element, but quietly drank off his glass.

There was a sort of infatuation in the supposed
dignity and manliness attached to powers of deep pota
tion, and the fatal effects of drinking were spoken of
in a manner both reckless and unfeeling. Thus, I
have been assured that a well-known old laird of the
old school expressed himself with great indignation at
the charge brought against hard drinking that it had
actually killed people. " Na, na, I never knew ony-
body killed wi drinking, but I hae kenn d some that
dee d in the training." A positive eclat was attached
to the accomplished and well-trained consumer of
claret or of whisky toddy, which gave an importance
and even merit to the practice of drinking, and which
had a most injurious effect. I am afraid some of the
Pleydells of the old school would have looked with
the most ineffable contempt on the degeneracy of the
present generation in this respect, and that the tem
perance movement would be little short of insanity in
their eyes ; and this leads me to a remark. In con-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. I OS

sidering this portion of the subject, we should bear in
mind a distinction. The change we now speak of
involves more than a mere change of a custom or
practice in social life. It is a change in men s sen
timents and feelings on a certain great question of
morals. Except we enter into this distinction we can
not appreciate the extent of the change which has
really taken place in regard to intemperate habits.

I have an anecdote from a descendant of Principal
Robertson, of an address made to him, which showed
the real importance attached to all that concerned the
system of drinking in his time. The Principal had
been invited to spend some days in a country-house,
and the minister of the parish (a jovial character) had
been asked to meet him. Before dinner he went up
to Dr. Robertson and addressed him confidentially
" Doctor, I understand ye are a brother of my gude
freend Peter Robertson of Edinburgh, therefore I ll gie
you a piece of advice, Bend * weel to the Madeira at
dinner, for here ye ll get little o t after." I have
known persons who held that a man who could not
drink must have a degree of feebleness and imbecility
of character. But as this is an important point, I
will adduce the higher authority of Lord Cockburn,
and quote from him two examples, very different cer
tainly in their nature, but both bearing upon the
question. I refer to what he says of Lord Hermand :
" With Hermand drinking was a virtue ; he had a
sincere respect for drinking, indeed a high moral
approbation, and a serious compassion for the poor
wretches who could not indulge in it, and with due
contempt of those who could but did not ;" and,
secondly, I refer to Lord Cockburn s pages for an
anecdote which illustrates the perverted feeling I

* Old Scotch for "drink liard."

10:5 REMINISCENCES OF

refer to, now happily no longer existing. It relates
the opinion expressed by an old drunken writer of
Selkirk (whose name is not mentioned) regarding his
anticipation of professional success for Mr. Cranstoun,
afterwards Lord Corehouse. Sir Walter Scott, William
Erskine, and Cranstoun, had dined with this Selkirk
writer, and Scott of hardy, strong, and healthy frame
had matched the writer himself in the matter of
whisky punch. Poor Cranstoun, of refined and deli
cate mental and bodily temperament, was a bad hand
at such work, and was soon off the field. On the
party breaking up, the Selkirk writer expressed his
admiration of Scott, assuring him that he would rise
high in the profession, and adding : " I ll tell ye what,
Maister Walter, that lad Cranstoun may get to the
tap o the bar, if he can ; but tak my word for t, it s
no be by drinking."

There was a sort of dogged tone of apology for
excess in drinking, which marked the hold which the
practice had gained on ordinary minds. Of this we
have a remarkable example in the unwilling testi
mony of a witness who was examined as to the fact
of drunkenness being charged against a minister. The
person examined was beadle, or one of the church
officials. He was asked, "Did you ever see the
minister the worse of drink ? " "I canna say I ve seen
him the waur o drink, but nae doubt I ve seen him
the letter o t," was the evasive answer. The question,
however, was pushed further; and when he was
urged to say if this state of being " the better for
drink " ever extended to a condition of absolute
helpless intoxication, the reply was : Indeed, afore
that cam , I was blind fou mysel , and I could see
naething."

A legal friend has told me of a celebrated circuit

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 107

where Lord Hermand was judge, and Clephane depute-
advocate. The party got drunk at Ayr, and so con
tinued (although quite able for their work) till the
business was concluded at Jedburgh. Some years
after, my informant heard that this circuit had, at
Jedburgh, acquired the permanent name of the "daft
circuit.

Lord Cockburn was fond of describing a circuit scene
at Stirling, in his early days at the bar, under the pre
sidency of his friend and connection Lord Hermand.
After the circuit dinner, and when drinking had gone
on for some time, young Cockburn observed places
becoming vacant in the social circle, but no one going
out at the door. He found that the individuals had
dropped down under the table. He took the hint, and
by this ruse retired from the scene. He lay quiet till
the beams of the morning sun penetrated the apart
ment. The judge and some of his staunch friends
coolly walked up stairs, washed their hands and faces,
came down to breakfast, and went into court quite
fresh and fit for work.

The feeling of importance frequently attached to
powers of drinking was formally attested by a well-
known western baronet of convivial habits and
convivial memory. He was desirous of bearing
testimony to the probity, honour, and other high
moral qualities of -a friend whom he wished to
commend. Having fully stated these claims to con
sideration and respect, he deemed it proper to notice
also his convivial attainments : he added accordingly,
with cautious approval on so important a point " And
he is a fair drinker."*

* A friend learned in Scottish history suggests an ingenious
remark, that this might mean more than a mere full drinker. To
drink " fair," used to imply that the person drank in the same

108 REMINISCENCES OF

The following anecdote is an amusing example of
Scottish servant humour and acuteness in measuring
the extent of consumption by a convivial party in
Forfarshire. The party had met at a farmer s house
not far from Arbroath, to celebrate the reconciliation
of two neighbouring farmers who had long been at
enmity, The host was pressing and hospitable ; the
party sat late, and consumed a vast amount of whisky
toddy. The wife was penurious, and grudged the
outlay. When at last, at a morning hour, the party
dispersed, the lady, who had not slept in her anxiety,
looked over the stairs and eagerly asked the servant
girl, " How many bottles of whisky have they used,
Betty 1 The lass, who had not to pay for the whisky,
but had been obliged to go to the well to fetch the
water for the toddy, coolly answered, " I dinna ken,
mem, but they ve drucken sax gang o j water."

We cannot imagine a better illustration of the
general habits that prevailed in Scottish society in re
gard to drinking about the time we speak of than one
which occurs in the recently-published " Memoirs of a
Banking House," that of the late Sir William Forbes,
Bart, of Pitsligo. The book comprises much that is
interesting to the family, and to Scotchmen. It con
tains a pregnant hint as to the manners of polite
society and business habits in those days. Of John
Coutts, one of four brothers connected with the house,
Sir William records how he was " more correct in his
conduct than the others ; so much so, that Sir William
never but once saw him in the counting-house disguised
with liquor, and incapable of transacting business."

proportion as the company ; to drink more would be unmannerly ;
to drink less might imply some unfair motive. Either inter
pretation shows the importance attached to drinking and all that
concerned it.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
From a -uater-colour drawing by

HENRY IV. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.1T.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 109

Iii the Highlands this sort of feeling extended to
an almost incredible extent, even so much as to ob
scure the moral and religious sentiments. Of this a
striking proof was afforded in a circumstance which
took place in my own church soon after I came into
it. One of our Gaelic clergy had so far forgotten
himself as to appear in the church somewhat the
worse of liquor. This having happened so often as to
come to the ears of the bishop, he suspended him from
the performance of divine service. Against this de
cision the people were a little disposed to rebel, be
cause, according to their Highland notions, "a gentle
man was no the waur for being able to tak a gude
glass o whisky." These were the notions of a people
in whose eyes the power of swallowing whisky con
ferred distinction, and with whom inability to take
the fitting quantity was a mark of a mean and futile
character. Sad to tell, the funeral rites of Highland
chieftains were not supposed to have been duly cele
brated except there was an immoderate and often
fatal consumption of whisky. It has been related that
at the last funeral in the Highlands, conducted ac
cording to the traditions of the olden times, several
of the guests fell victims to the usage, and actually
died of the excesses.

This phase of old and happily almost obsolete Scot
tish intemperance at funeral solemnities must have
been peculiarly revolting. Instances of this horrid
practice being carried to a great extent are tradition
ary in every part of the country. I am assured of
the truth of the following anecdote by a son of the
gentleman who acted as chief mourner on the occa
sion : About seventy years ago an old maiden lady
died in Strathspey. Just previous to her death she
sent for her grand-nephew, and said to him, " Willy,

110 REMINISCENCES OF

I m deein*, and as ye ll hae the charge o a I have,
mind now that as much whisky is to be used at my
funeral as there was at my baptism." Willy neglected
to ask the old lady what the quantity of whisky used
at the baptism was, but when the day of the funeral
arrived believed her orders would be best fulfilled by
allowing each guest to drink as much as he pleased.
The churchyard where the body was to be deposited
was about ten miles distant from where the death
occurred. It was a short day in November, and when
the funeral party came to the churchyard the shades
of night had considerably closed in. The grave-digger,
whose patience had been exhausted in waiting, was

not in the least willing to accept of Captain G s

(the chief mourner) apology for delay. After looking
about him he put the anxious question, " But, Captain,
whaur s Miss Ketty ]" The reply was, " In her coffin,
to be sure, and get it into the earth as fast as you
can." There, however, was no coffin ; the procession
had sojourned at a country inn by the way had
rested the body on a dyke started without it and
had to postpone the interment until next day. My
correspondent very justly adds the remark, " What
would be thought of indulgence in drinking habits
now that could lead to such a result 1"

Many scenes of a similar incongruous character are
still traditionally connected with such occasions.
Within the last thirty years, a laird of Dundonald, a
small estate in Eoss-shire, died at Inverness. There
was open house for some days, and great eating and
drinking. Here the corpse commenced its progress
toward its appointed home on the coast, and people
followed in multitudes to give it a partial convoy,
all of whom had to be entertained. It took altogether
a fortnight to bury poor Dundonald, and great expense

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. Ill

must have been incurred. This, however, is looked
back to at Inverness as the last of the real grand old
Highland funerals. Such notions of what is due to
the memory of the departed have now become unusual
if not obsolete. I myself witnessed the first decided
change in this matter. I officiated at the funeral of
the late Duke of Sutherland. The procession was a
mile long. Eefreshments were provided for 7000
persons ; beef, bread, and beer ; but not one glass of
whisky was allowed on the property that day !

It may, perhaps, be said that the change we speak
of is not peculiar to Scotland ; that in England the
same change has been apparent ; and that drunkenness
has passed away in the higher circles, as a matter of
course, as refinement and taste made an advancement
in society. This is true. But there were some
features of the question which were peculiar to Scot
land, and which at one time rendered it less probable
that intemperance would give way in the north. It
seemed in some quarters to have taken deeper root
amongst us. The system of pressing, or of compelling,
guests to drink seemed more inveterate. Nothing
can more powerfully illustrate the deep-rooted cha
racter of intemperate habits in families than an anec
dote which was related to me, as coming from the late
Mr. Mackenzie, author of the Man of Feeling. He
had been involved in a regular drinking party. He
was keeping as free from the usual excesses as he was
able, and as he marked companions around him falling
victims to the power of drink, % he himself dropped off
under the table among the slain, as a measure of pre
caution ; and lying there, his attention was called to a
small pair of hands working at his throat ; on asking
what it was, a voice replied, " Sir, I m the lad that s
to lowse the neckcloths." Here, then, was a family,

112 REMINISCENCES OF

where, on drinking occasions, it was the appointed
duty of one of the household to attend, and, when the
guests were becoming helpless, to untie their cravats
in fear of apoplexy or suffocation.* We ought cer
tainly to be grateful for the change which has taken
place from such a system ; for this change has made
a great revolution in Scottish social life. The charm
and the romance long attached in the minds of some
of our countrymen to the whole system and concerns
of hard drinking was indeed most lamentable and ab
surd. At tavern suppers, where, nine times out often,
it was the express object of those who went to get
drunk, such stuff as " regal purple stream," " rosy
wine/ " quaffing the goblet," " bright sparkling nec
tar, 5 " chasing the rosy hours," and so on, tended to
keep up the delusion, and make it a monstrous fine
thing for men to sit up drinking half the night, to
have frightful headaches all next day, to make maudlin
idiots of themselves as they were going home, and to
become brutes amongst their family when they ar
rived. And here I may introduce the mention of a
practice connected with the convivial habits of which
we have been speaking, but which has for some time
passed away, at least from private tables I mean the
absurd system of calling for toasts and sentiments
each time the glasses were filled. During dinner not
a drop could be touched, except in conjunction with
others, and with each drinking to the health of each.
But toasts came after dinner. I can just remember
the practice in partial operation ; and my astonish-

* In Burt s Letters from the North of Scotland, written about
1730, similar scenes are related as occurring in Culloden House :
as the company were disabled by drink, two servants in waiting
took up the invalids with short poles in their chairs as they sat
(if not fallen down), and carried them off to their beds.

SCOTTISH LIVE & CHARACTER. 113

ment as a mere boy, when accidentally dining at table
and hearing my mother called upon to " give the com
pany a gentleman," is one of my earliest reminiscences.
Lord Cockburn must have remembered them well,
and I will quote his most amusing account of the
effects : " After dinner, and before the ladies retired,
there generally began what was called * Rounds of
toasts, when each gentleman named an absent lady,
and each lady an absent gentleman, separately ; or
one person was required to give an absent lady, and
another person was required to match a gentleman
with that lady, and the persons named were toasted,
generally, with allusions and jokes about the fitness
of the union. And, worst of all, there were i Senti
ments/ These were short epigrammatic sentences,
expressive of moral feelings and virtues, and were
thought refined and elegant productions. A faint
conception of their nauseousness may be formed from
the folio wing examples, every one of which I have heard
given a thousand times, and which indeed I only re
collect from their being favourites. The glasses being
filled, a person was asked for his or for her sentiment,
when this, or something similar, was committed :
May the pleasures of the evening bear the reflections
of the morning ; or, i may the friends of our youth
be the companions of our old age ; or, l delicate plea
sures to susceptible minds -, l may the honest heart
never feel distress ; may the hand of charity wipe
the tear from the eye of sorrow. The conceited, the
ready, or the reckless, hackneyed in the art, had a
knack of making new sentiments applicable to the
passing incidents with great ease. But it was a
dreadful oppression on the timid or the awkward.
They used to shudder, ladies particularly ; for nobody
was spared when their turn in the round approached.

114 REMINISCENCES OF

Many a struggle and blush did it cost ; but this seemed
only to excite the tyranny of the masters of the craft ;
and compliance could never be avoided, except by
more torture than yielding. . . . It is difficult
for those who have been under a more natural system
to comprehend how a sensible man, a respectable
matron, a worthy old maid, and especially a girl,
could be expected to go into company easily, on such
conditions." *

This accompaniment of domestic drinking by a
toast or sentiment the practice of which is now con
fined to public entertainments was then invariable
in private parties, and was supposed to enliven and
promote! the good fellowship of the social circle.
Thus Fergusson, in one of his poems, in describing a
dinner, says

" The grace is said ; it s nae ower lang,
The claret reams in "bells.
Quo Deacon, * Let the toast round gang ;
Come, here s our noble sels
Weelmettheday. "

There was a great variety of these toasts, some of
them exclusively Scottish. A correspondent has
favoured me with a few reminiscences of such incen
tives to inebriety.

The ordinary form of drinking a health was in the
address, " Here s t ye."

Then such as the following were named by succes
sive members of the company at the call of the
host :

The land o 1 cakes (Scotland).
Mair freens and less need o them.
Thumping luck and fat weans.

* Lord Cockburn s Memorials of Ms Time, p. 37, d seq.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 116

/u

Jllien we re gaun up the hill o fortune may we ne er

meet a freen coming doun.
May ne er waur be amang us.
May the hinges o freendship never rust, or the wings o

luve lose a feather.

Here s to them that lo es us, or lenns us a lift.
Here s health to the sick, stilts to the lame ; daise to

the back, and brose to the wame.
Here s health, wealth, wit, and meal
The deil rock them in a creel that does na wish us a 9

weel.

Horny hands and weather-beaten Jiaffets (cheeks).
The rending o rocks and the pu in doun o 1 auld

houses.

The above two belong to the mason craft ; the first
implies a wish for plenty of work, and health to do it ;
the second, to erect new buildings and clear away old
ones.

May the winds o 1 adversity ne er blaw open our door.
May poortith ne er throw us in the dirt, or gowd into

the high saddle*
May the mouse ne er leave our meal-pod, wi the tear

in its e e.

Blythe may we a be.
HI may we never see.
Breeks and brochan (brose).

May we ne er want a freend, or a dr apple to gie him.
Gude een to you a , an tak your nappy.
A willy-waught s a gude night cappy. f
May we a be canty an cosy,
An ilk hae a wife in his bosy.

May we never be cast down by adversity, or unduly ele
vated by prosperity.
t A toast at parting or breaking up of the party.

116 REMINISCENCES OF

A cosy but, and a canty ben,

To couthie * women and trusty men.

The ingle neuJc ivi routM bannocks and bairns*

Here s to him ivha winna beguile ye.

Mair sense and mair siller.

Horn, corn, wool, an yarn. I

Sometimes certain toasts were accompanied by
Highland honours. This was a very exciting, and to
a stranger a somewhat alarming, proceeding. I re
collect my astonishment the first time I witnessed
the ceremony the company, from sitting quietly
drinking their wine, seemed to assume the attitude of
harmless maniacs, allowed to amuse themselves. The
moment the toast was given, and proposed to be
drunk with Highland honours, the gentlemen all
rose, and with one foot on their chair and another
on the table, they drank the toast with Gaelic shrieks,
which were awful to hear, the cheering being under
the direction of a toast-master appointed to direct the
proceedings. I am indebted to the kindness of the
Rev. Duncan Campbell, the esteemed minister of
Moulin, for the form used on such occasions. Here
it is in the Gaelic and the Saxon :

Gaelic. Translation.

So ! Prepare !

Nish ! Nish ! Now ! Now !

Sud ris ! Slid ris ! Yon again ! Yon again !

Nish ! Nish ! Now ! Now !
Thig ris ! Thig ris ! At it again ! At it again !

A on uair eile ! Another time, or one cheer more !

The reader is to imagine these words uttered with
yells and vociferations, and accompanied with frantic
gestures.

* Loving. t Plenty. Toast for agricultural dinners.

SCOTTTSff LIFE <l< CHARACTER. Ill

The system of giving toasts was so regularly estab
lished, that collections of them were published to add
brilliancy to the festive board. By the kindness of
the librarian, I have seen a little volume which is in
the Signet Library of Edinburgh. It is entitled,
"The Gentleman s New Bottle Companion," Edin
burgh, printed in the year MDCCLXXVII. It contains
various toasts and sentiments which the writer con
sidered to be suitable to such occasions. Of the taste
and decency of the companies where some of them
could be made use of, the less said the better.

I have heard also of large traditionary collections
of toasts and sentiments, belonging to old clubs and
societies, extending back above a century, but I have
not seen any of them, and I believe my readers will
think they have had quite enough.

The favourable reaction which has taken place in
regard to the whole system of intemperance may very
fairly, in the first place, be referred to an improved
moral feeling. But other causes have also assisted ;
and it is curious to observe how the different changes
in the modes of society bear upon one another. The
alteration in the convivial habits which we are notic
ing in our own country may be partly due to altera
tion of hours. The old plan of early dining favoured
a system of suppers, and after supper was a great time
for convivial songs and sentiments. This of course
induced drinking to a late hour. Most drinking songs
imply the night as the season of conviviality thus
in a popular madrigal :

" By the gaily circling glass
We can tell how minutes pass ;
By the hollow cask we re told
How the waning night grows old."

P

US REMINISCENCES OF

And Burns thus marks the time :

" It is the moon, I ken her horn,
That s blinkiii in the lift sae hie ;
She shines sae bright, to wyle us hame,
But by my sooth she ll wait a wee. "

The young people of the present (Lay have no idea
of the state of matters in regard to the supper system
when it was the normal condition of society. The
late dining hours may make the social circle more
formal, but they have been far less favourable to drink
ing propensities. After such dinners as ours are now,
suppers are clearly out of the question. One is as
tonished to look back and recall the scenes to which
were attached associations of hilarity, conviviality, and
enjoyment. Drinking parties were protracted beyond
the whole Sunday, having begun by a dinner on
Saturday ; imbecility and prostrate helplessness were
a common result of these bright and jovial scenes;
and by what perversion of language, or by what ob
liquity of sentiment, the notions of pleasure could be
attached to scenes of such excess to the nausea, the
disgust of sated appetite, and the racking headache
it is not easy to explain. There were men of heads
so hard, and of stomachs so insensible, that, like my
friend Saunders Paul, they could stand anything in
the way of drink. But to men in general, and to the
more delicate constitutions, such a life must have been
a cause of great misery. To a certain extent, and up
to a certain point, wine may be a refreshment and a
wholesome stimulant ; nay, it is a medicine, and a
valuable one, and as such, comes recommended on
fitting occasions by the physician. Beyond this point,
as sanctioned and approved by nature, the use of wine
is only degradation. Well did the sacred writer call

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 119

wine, when thus taken in excess, "a mocker." It
makes all men equal, because it makes them all idiotic.
It allures them into a vicious indulgence, and then
mocks their folly, by depriving them of any sense they
may ever have possessed.

It has, I fear, been injurious to the cause of tem
perance, that emotions of true friendship, and the
outpouring of human affections, should so frequently
be connected with the obligation that the parties
should get drunk together. Drunkenness is thus made
to hold too close an association in men s minds with
some of the best and finest feelings of their nature.

" Friend of my soul, this goblet sip,"

is the constant acknowledged strain of poetical friend
ship : our own Robert Burns calls upon the dear
companion of his early happy days, with whom he
had " paidl t i the burn, frae mornin sun till dine,"
and between whom " braid seas had roar d sin auld
lang syne," to commemorate their union of heart and
spirit, and to welcome their meeting after years of
separation, by each one joining his pint-stoup, and by
each taking a mutual " richt guid willie-waught," in
honour of the innocent and happy times of " auld
lang syne." David marks his recognition of friend
ship by tokens of a different character " We took
sweet counsel together, and walked in the house of God
as friends." Ps. Iv. 14.

Reference has already been made to Lord Hermand s
opinion of drinking, and to the high estimation in
which he held a staunch drinker, according to the
testimony of Lord Cockburn, There is a remarkable
corroboration of this opinion in a current anecdote
which is traditionary regarding the same learned
judge. A case of some great offence was tried before

120 REMINISCENCES OF

him, and the counsel pleaded extenuation for his client
in that he was drunk when he committed the offence.
"Drunk!" exclaimed Lord Hermand, in great indig
nation; "if he could do such a thing when he was
drunk, what might he not have done when he was
sober I" evidently implying that the normal condition
of human nature, and its most hopeful one, was a
condition of intoxication.

Of the prevalence of hard drinking in certain houses
as a system, a remarkable proof is given at page 102.
The following anecdote still further illustrates the
subject, and corresponds exactly with the story of the
" loosing the cravats," which was performed for guests
in a state of helpless inebriety by one of the house
hold. There had been a carousing party at Castle
Grant, many years ago, and as the evening advanced
towards morning two Highlanders were in attendance
to carry the guests up stairs, it being understood that
none could by any other means arrive at their sleep
ing apartments. One or two of the guests, however,
whether from their abstinence or their superior strength
of head, were walking up stairs, and declined the
proffered assistance. The attendants were quite as
tonished, and indignantly exclaimed, " Agh, it s sare
cheengecl times at Castle Grant, when shentlemens can
gang to bed on their ain feet."

There was a practice in many Scottish houses which
favoured most injuriously the national tendency to
spirit-drinking, and that was a foolish and inconsiderate
custom of offering a glass on all occasions as a mark
of kindness or hospitality. I mention the custom
only for the purpose of offering a remonstrance. It
should never be done. Even now, I am assured, small
jobs (carpenters or blacksmiths , or such like) are
constantly remunerated in the West Highlands of

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 121

Scotland and doubtless in many other parts of the
country not by a pecuniary payment, but by a dram ;
if the said dram be taken from a speerit-dec&nter out
of the family press or cupboard, the compliment is
esteemed the greater, and the offering doubly valued.

A very amusing dialogue between a landlord and his
tenant on this question of the dram has been sent to
me. John Colquhoun, an aged Dumbartonshire tenant,
is asked by his laird on Lochlomond side, to stay a
minute till he tastes. " Now, John," says the laird.
"Only half a glass, Camstraddale," meekly pleads
John. "Which half?" rejoins the laird, "the upper
or the lower?" John grins, and turns off both the
upper and Imver too.

The upper and lower portions of the glass furnish
another drinking anecdote. A very greedy old lady
employed another John Colquhoun to cut the grass
upon the lawn, and enjoined him to cut it very close,
adding, as a reason for the injunction, that one inch
at the bottom was worth two at the top. Having
finished his work much to her satisfaction, the old
lady got out the whisky-bottle and a tapering wine
glass, which she filled about half full \ John suggested
that it would be better to fill it up, slily adding, " Fill
it up, mem, for it s no like the gress ; an inch at the
tap s worth twa at the boddom."

But the most whimsical anecdote connected with
the subject of drink, is one traditionary in the south
of Scotland, regarding an old Gallovidian lady dis
claiming more drink under the following circum-
otances : The old generation of Galloway lairds were
a primitive and hospitable race, but their conviviality
sometimes led to awkward occurrences. In former
days, when roads were bad and wheeled vehicles
almost unknown, an old laird was returning from a

12*2 REMINISCENCES OF

supper party, with his lady mounted behind him on
horseback. On crossing the river Urr, at a ford at a
point where it joins the sea, the old lady dropped off,
but was not missed till her husband reached his door,
when, of course, there was an immediate search made.
The party who were despatched in quest of her arrived
just in time to find her remonstrating with the ad
vancing tide, which trickled into her mouth, in these
words, " No anither drap ; neither het nor cauld."

A lady, on one occasion, offering a dram to a por
ter in a rather small glass, said, " Take it off ; it will
do you no harm," on which the man, looking at the
diminutive glass, observed, " Harm ! Na, gin it were
poushon" (poison).

I would now introduce, as a perfect illustration of
this portion of our subject, two descriptions of clergy
men, well known men in their day, which are taken
from Dr. Carlyle s work, already referred to. Of Dr.
Alexander Webster, a clergyman, and one of his con
temporaries, he writes thus : " Webster, leader of the
high-flying party, had justly obtained much respect
amongst the clergy, and all ranks indeed, for having
established the Widows Fund. . . . His ap
pearance of great strictness in religion, to which he
was bred under his father, who was a very popular
minister of the Tolbooth Church, not acting in restraint
of his convivial humour, he was held to be excellent
company even by those of dissolute manners ; while,
being a five-bottle man, he could lay them all under
the table. This had brought on him the nickname
of Dr. Bonum Magnum in the time of faction. But
never being indecently the worse of liquor, and a love
of claret, to any degree, not being reckoned in those
days a sin in Scotland, all his excesses were pardoned."

Dr. Patrick Gumming, also a clergyman and a con-

SCOTTISH LIFE ,fr CHARACTER. 123

temporary, he describes in the following terms :
"Dr. Patrick Gumming was, at this time (1751), at
the head of the moderate interest, and had his temper
been equal to his talents, might have kept it long, for
he had both learning and sagacity, and very agreeable
conversation, with a constitution able to bear the con
viviality of the times"

Now, of all the anecdotes and facts which I have
collected, or of all which I have ever heard to illus
trate the state of Scottish society in the past times,
as regards its habits of intemperance, this assuredly
surpasses them all. Of two well-known, distinguished,
and leading clergymen in the middle of the eighteenth
century, one who had " obtained much respect," and
" had the appearance of great strictness in religion,"
is described as an enormous drinker of claret ; the
other, an able leader of a powerful section in the
church, is described as owing his influence to his power
of meeting the conviviality of the times. Suppose for
a moment a future biographer should write in this
strain of eminent divines, and should apply to distin
guished members of the Scottish Church in 1863 such

description as the following : " Dr. was a man

who took a leading part in all church affairs at this
time, and was much looked up to by the evangelical
section of the General Assembly; he could always
carry off without difficulty his five bottles of claret.

Dr. had great influence in society, and led the

opposite party in the General Assembly, as he could
take his place in all companies, and drink on fair
terms at the most convivial tables ! ! ; Why, this
seems to us so monstrous, that we can scarcely believe
Dr. Carlyle s account of matters in his day to be
possible.

There is a story which illustrates, with terrible

124 REMINISCENCES OF

force, the power which drinking had obtained in
Scottish social life. I have been deterred from bring-

o

ing it forward, as too shocking for production. But
as the story is pretty well known, and its truth
vouched for on high authority, I venture to give it, as
affording a proof that, in those days, no consideration,
not even the most awful that affects human nature,
could be made to outweigh the claims of a deter
mined conviviality. It may, I think, be mentioned
also, in the way of warning men generally against the
hardening and demoralising effects of habitual drunken
ness. The story is this : At a prolonged drinking
bout, one of the party remarked, " What gars the laird
of Garskadden look sae gash?"* " Ou," says his
neighbour, the laird of Kilmardinny, " deil meane
him ! Garskadden s been wi his Maker these twa
hours ; I saw him step awa, but I didna like to dis
turb gude company !"t

Before closing this subject of excess in drinking, I
may refer to another indulgence in which our country
men are generally supposed to partake more largely
than their neighbours : I mean snuff-taking. The
popular southern ideas of a Scotchman and his snuff
box are inseparable. Smoking does not appear to
have been practised more in Scotland than in Eng
land, and if Scotchmen are sometimes intemperate in
the use of snuff, it is certainly a more innocent excess
than intemperance in whisky. I recollect, amongst the
common people in the north, a mode of taking snuf!
which showed a determination to make the most of it,
and which indicated somewhat of intemperance in the
enjoyment ; this was to receive it not through a pinch

* Ghastly.

t The scene is described and place mentioned in Dr. Strang e
account of Glasgow Clubs, p. 104, 2d edit.

THK SNUFFER
From a water-colour drawing by

HENRY Jl\ A AVv A ,
A.K.S.^., R.S.iT.

1

SCOTTISH LTFE & CHARACTER. 125

between the fingers, but through a quill or little bone
ladle, which forced it up the nose. But, besides
smoking and snuffing, I have a reminiscence of a third
use of tobacco, which I apprehend is now quite obso
lete. Some of my readers will be surprised when I
name this forgotten luxury. It was called plugging,
and consisted (horresco refer ens) in poking a piece of
pig-tail tobacco right into the nostril. I remember
this distinctly ; and now, at a distance of more than
sixty years, I recall my utter astonishment as a boy, at
seeing my grand-uncle, with whom I lived in early
days, put a thin piece of tobacco fairly up his nose.
I suppose the plug acted as a continued stimulant on
the olfactory nerve, and was, in short, like taking a
perpetual pinch of snuff.

The inveterate snuff-taker, like the dram-drinker,
felt severely the being deprived of his accustomed
stimulant, as in the following instance : A severe
snow-storm in the Highlands, which lasted for several
weeks, having stopped all communication betwixt
neighbouring hamlets, the snuff-boxes were soon re
duced to their last pinch. Borrowing and begging
from all the neighbours within reach were first resorted
to, but when these failed, all were alike reduced to
the longing which unwillingly-abstinent snuff-takers
alone know. The minister of the parish was amongst
the unhappy number ; the craving was so intense that
study was out of the question, and he became quite
restless. As a last resort the beadle was despatched,
through the snow, to a neighbouring glen, in the hope
of getting a supply ; but he came back as unsuccess
ful as he went. "What s to be dune, John?" was
the minister s pathetic inquiry. John shook his head,
as much as to say that he could not tell ; but im
mediately thereafter started up, as if a new idea had

126 REMINISCENCES OF

occurred to him. He came back in a few minutes,
crying, "Hae!" The minister, too eager to be scru
tinising, took a long, deep pinch, and then said,
" Whaur did you get it ]" " I soupit* the poupit," was
John s expressive reply. The minister s accumulated
superfluous Sabbath snuff now came into good use.

It does not appear that at this time a similar ex
cess in eating accompanied this prevalent tendency to
excess in drinking. Scottish tables were at that
period plain and abundant, but epicurism or gluttony
do not seem to have been handmaids to drunkenness.
A humorous anecdote, however, of a full-eating laird,
may well accompany those which appertain to the
drinking lairds. A lady in the north having watched
the proceedings of a guest, who ate long and largely,
she ordered the servant to take away, as he had at
last laid down his knife and fork. To her surprise,
however, he resumed his work, and she apologised to

him, saying, " I thought, Mr. , you had done."

" Oh, so I had, mem ; but I just fan a doo in the redd
o my plate." He had discovered a pigeon lurking
amongst the bones and refuse of his plate, and could
not resist finishing it.

* Swept.

SCOTTISH LIFE d- CHAMAGTElL 127

CHAPTER THE FOURTH.

ON THE OLD SCOTTISH DOMESTIC SERVANT.

I COME now to a subject on which a great change
has taken place in this country during my own ex
perience viz. those peculiarities of intercourse which
some years back marked the connection between
masters and servants. In many Scottish houses a
great familiarity prevailed between members of the
family and the domestics. For this many reasons
might have been assigned. Indeed, when we con
sider the simple modes of life, which discarded the
ideas of ceremony or etiquette ; the retired and
uniform style of living, which afforded few oppor
tunities for any change in the domestic arrange
ments ; and when we add to these a free, unrestrained,
unformal, and natural style of intercommunion, which
seems rather a national characteristic, we need not be
surprised to find in quiet Scottish families a sort of
intercourse with old domestics which can hardly be
looked for at a time when habits are so changed, and
where much of the quiet eccentricity belonging to us
as a national characteristic is almost necessarily soft
ened down or driven out. Many circumstances con
spired to promote familiarity with old domestics,
which are now entirely changed. We take the case
of a domestic coming early into service, and passing
year after year in the same family. The servant
grows up into old age and confirmed habits when the

123 REMINISCENCES OF

laird is becoming a man, a husband, father of a family.
The domestic cannot forget the days when his master
was a child, riding on his back, applying to him for
help in difficulties about his fishing, his rabbits, his
pony, his going to school. All the family know how
attached he is ; nobody likes to speak harshly to him.
He is a privileged man. The faithful old servant of
thirty, forty, or fifty years, if with a tendency to be
jealous, cross, and interfering, becomes a great trouble.
Still the relative position was the result of good feel
ings. If the familiarity sometimes became a nuisance,
it was a wholesome nuisance, and relic of a simpler
time gone by. But the case of the old servant,
whether agreeable or troublesome, was often so fixed
and established in the households of past days, that
there was scarce a possibility of getting away from it.
The well-known story of the answer of one of these
domestic tyrants to the irritated master, who was
making an effort to free himself from the thraldom,
shows the idea entertained, by one of the parties at
least, of the permanency of the tenure. I am assured
by a friend that the true edition of the story was
this : An old Mr. Erskine of Dun had one of these
retainers, under whose language and unreasonable
assumption he had long groaned. He had almost
determined to bear it no longer, when, walking out
with his man, on crossing a field, the master exclaim
ed, " There s a hare." Andrew looked at the place,
and coolly replied, " What a big lee, it s a cauff." The
master, quite angry now, plainly told the old domestic
that they must part. But the tried servant of forty
years, not dreaming of the possibility of his dismissal,
innocently asked, "Ay, sir; whare ye gaun ? I m
sure ye re aye best at name ;" supposing that, if there
were to be any disruption, it must be the master who

SCOTTISH LIFE <6 CHARACTER. 129

would change the place. An example of a similar
fixedness of tenure in an old servant was afforded in
an anecdote related of an old coachman long in the
service of a noble lady, and who gave all the trouble
and annoyance which he conceived were the privileges
of his position in the family. At last the lady fairly
gave him notice to quit, and told him he must go.
The only satisfaction she got was the quiet answer,
" Na, na, my lady ; I druve ye to your marriage, and
I shall stay to drive ye to your burial. " Indeed, we
have heard of a still stronger assertion of his official
position by one who met an order to quit his master s
service by the cool reply, " Na, na ; I m no gangin .
If ye dinna ken whan ye ve a gude servant ; I ken
whan I ve a gude place."

It is but fair, however, to give an anecdote in which
the master and the servant s position was reversed, in
regard to a wish for change : An old servant of a rela
tion of my own with an ungovernable temper, became
at last so weary of his master s irascibility, that he
declared he must leave, and gave as his reason the fits
of anger which came on, and produced such great
annoyance that he could not stand it any longer. His
master, unwilling to lose him, tried to coax him by
reminding him that the anger was soon off. " Ay,"
replied the other very shrewdly, " but it s nae suner aff
than it s on again." I remember well an old servant
of the old school, who had been fifty years domesticated
in a family. Indeed I well remember the celebration
of the half- century service completed. There were
rich scenes with Sandy and his mistress. Let me
recall you both to memory. Let me think of you, the
kind, generous, warm-hearted mistress ; a gentlewoman
by descent and by feeling ; a true friend, a sincere
Christian. And let me think, too, of you, Sandy, an

130 REMINISCENCES OF

honest, faithful, and attached member of the family.
For you were in that house rather as a humble friend
than a servant. But out of this fifty years of attached
service there sprang a sort of domestic relation and
freedom of intercourse which would surprise people
in these days. And yet Sandy knew his place. Like
Corporal Trim, who, although so familiar and admitted
to so much familiarity with my Uncle Toby, never failed
in the respectful address never forgot to say " your
honour." At a dinner party Sandy was very active
about changing his mistress s plate, and whipped it off
when he saw that she had got a piece of rich pate
upon it. His mistress, not liking such rapid move
ments, and at the same time knowing that remon-
otrance was in vain, exclaimed, " Hout, Sandy, I m no
dune," and dabbed her fork into the "pattee" as it
disappeared, to rescue a morsel. I remember her
praise of English mutton was a great annoyance to
the Scottish prejudices of Sandy. One day she was
telling me of a triumph Sandy had upon that subject.
The smell of the joint roasting had become very
offensive through the house. The lady called out to
Sandy to have the doors closed, and added, " That
must be some horrid Scotch mutton you have got."
To Sandy s delight, this was a leg of English mutton
his mistress had expressly chosen ; and, as she signifi
cantly told me, " Sandy never let that down upon me."
On Deeside there existed, in my recollection,
besides the Saunders Paul I have alluded to, a
number of extraordinary acute and humorous Scottish
characters amongst the lower classes. The native
gentry enjoyed their humour, and hence arose a fami
liarity of intercourse which called forth many amus
ing scenes and quaint rejoinders. A celebrated
character of this description bore the soubriquet of

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 131

" Boaty," of whom I have already spoken. He had
acted as Charon of the Dee at Banchory, and passed
the boat over the river before there was a bridge.
Boaty had many curious sayings recorded of him.
When speaking of the gentry around, he charac
terised them according to their occupations and
activity of habits thus:- -"As to Mr. Eussell of
Blackha , he just works him sell like a paid labourer ;
Mr. Duncan s a the day fish, fish ; but Sir Robert s
a perfect gentleman he does naething, naething."
Boaty was a first-rate salmon-fisher himself, and was
much sought after by amateurs who came to Banchory
for the sake of the sport afforded by the beautiful
Dee. He was, perhaps, a little spoiled, and presumed
upon the indulgence and familiarity shown to him in
the way of his craft as, for example, he was in at
tendance with his boat on a sportsman who was both
skilful and successful, for he caught salmon after
salmon. Between each fish catching he solaced himself
with a good pull from a flask, which he returned to
his pocket, however, without offering to let Boaty have
any participation in the refreshment. Boaty, partly
a little professionally jealous, perhaps, at the success,
and partly indignant at receiving less than his usual
attention on such occasions, and seeing no prospect
of amendment, deliberately pulled the boat to shore,
shouldered the oars, rods, landing-nets, and all the
fishing apparatus which he had provided, and set off
homewards. His companion, far from considering his
day s work to be over, and keen for more sport, was
amazed, and peremptorily ordered him to come back.
But all the answer made by the offended Boaty was,
" Na na ; them at drink by themsells may just fish
by themsells."

The charge these old domestics used to take of the

132 REMINISCENCES OF

interests of the family, and the cool way in which
they took upon them to protect those interests, some
times led to very provoking, and sometimes to very
ludicrous, exhibitions of importance. A friend told
me of a dinner scene illustrative of this sort of inter
ference which had happened at Airth in the last
generation. Mrs. Murray, of Abercairney, had been
amongst the guests, and at dinner one of the family
noticed that she was looking for the proper spoon to
help herself with salt. The old servant, Thomas, was
appealed to, that the want might be supplied. He
did not notice the appeal. It was repeated in a more
peremptory manner, " Thomas, Mrs. Murray has not
a salt-spoon !" to which he replied most emphatically,
" Last time Mrs. Murray dined here we lost a salt-
spoon." An old servant who took a similar charge
of everything that went on in the family, having
observed that his master thought that he had drunk
wine with every lady at table, but had overlooked
one, jogged his memory with the question, "What
ails ye at her wi the green gown ]

In my own family I know a case of a very long
service, and where, no doubt, there was much interest
and attachment ; but it was a case where the temper
had not softened under the influence of years, but
had rather assumed that form of disposition which
we denominate crusty. My grand-uncle, Sir A. Ram
say, died in 1806, and left a domestic who had been
in his service since he was ten years of age ; and
being at the time of his master s death past fifty or
well on to sixty, he must have been more than forty
years a servant in the family. From the retired life
my grand-uncle had been leading, Jamie Layal had
much of his own way, and, like many a domestic so
situated, he did not like to be contradicted, and, in

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 133

fact, could not bear to be found fault with. My
uncle, who had succeeded to a part of my grand-
uncle s property, succeeded also to Jamie Layal, and,
from respect to his late master s memory and Jamie s
own services, he teok him into his house, intending
him to act as house servant. However, this did not
answer, and he was soon kept on, more with the form
than the reality of any active duty, and took an)*
light work that was going on about the house. In
this capacity it was his daily task to feed a flock of
turkeys which were growing up to maturity. On one
occasion, my aunt having followed him in his work,
and having observed such a waste of food that the
ground was actually covered with grain which they
could not eat, and which would soon be destroyed
and lost, naturally remonstrated, and suggested a
more reasonable and provident supply. But all the
answer she got from the offended Jamie was a bitter
rejoinder, " Weel, then, neist time they sail get nane
ava ! On another occasion a family from a distance
had called whilst my uncle and aunt were out of the
house. Jamie came into the parlour to deliver the
cards, or to announce that they had called. My aunt,
somewhat vexed at not having been in the way, in
quired what message Mr. and Mrs. Innes had left,
as she had expected one. " No ; no message. 7 She
returned to the charge, and asked again if they had
not told him anything he was to repeat. Stili, " No ;
no message/ "But did they say nothing] Are you
sure they said nothing *? Jamie, sadly put out and
offended at being thus interrogated, at last burst forth,
" They neither said ba nor bum," and indignantly left
the room, banging the door after him. A character
istic anecdote of one of these old domestics I have
from a friend who was acquainted with the parties

Q

134 REMINISCENCES OF

concerned. The old man was standing at the side
board and attending to the demands of a pretty large
dinner party ; the calls made for various wants from the
company became so numerous and frequent that the
attendant got quite bewildered, and lost his patience
and temper ; at length he gave vent to his indignation
in a remonstrance addressed to the whole company,
" Cry a thegither, that s the way to be served."

I have two characteristic and dry Scottish answers,
traditional in the Lothian family, supplied to me by
the late excellent and highly-gifted Marquis. A
Marquis of Lothian of a former generation observed
in his walk two workmen very busy with a ladder to
reach a bell, on which they next kept up a furious
ringing. He asked what was the object of making
such a din, to which the answer was, " Oh, juist, my
lord to ca the workmen together ! " Why, how
many are there ? asked his lordship. " Ou, juist
Sandy and me," was the quiet rejoinder. The same
Lord Lothian, looking about the garden, directed his
gardener s attention to a particular plum-tree, charg
ing him to be careful of the produce of that tree, and
send the whole of it in marked, as it was of a very
particular kind. " Ou," said the gardener, " I ll dae
that, my lord ; there s juist twa o them."

These dry answers of Newbattle servants remind
us of a similar state of communication in a Yester
domestic. Lord Tweeddale was very fond of dogs,
and on leaving Yester for London he instructed his
head keeper, a quaint bodie, to give him a periodical
report of the kennel, and particulars of his favourite
dogs. Among the latter was an especial one, of the
true Skye breed, called " Pickle," from which soubri
quet we may form a tolerable estimate of his
qualities.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 135

It happened one day, in or about the year 1827,
that poor Pickle, during the absence of his master,
was taken unwell ; and the watchful guardian imme
diately warned the Marquis of the sad fact, and of
the progress of the disease, which lasted three days
for which he sent the three following laconic
despatches :

Tester, May 1st, 18 .
MY LORD,

Pickle s no weel.

Your Lordship s humble servant, etc.

Yester, May 2d, 18.
MY LORD,

Pickle will no do.

I am your Lordship s, etc.

Yester, May 3d, 18 .
MY LORD,

Pickle s dead.

I am your Lordship s, etc.

I have heard of an old Forfarshire lady who, know
ing the habits of her old and spoilt servant, when she
wished a note to be taken without loss of time, held
it open and read it over to him, saying, " There, noo,
Andrew, ye ken a that s in t ; noo dinna stop to open
it, but just send it aff." Of another servant, when
sorely tried by an unaccustomed bustle and hurry, a
very amusing anecdote has been recorded. His
mistress, a woman of high rank, who had been living
in much quiet and retirement for some time, was
called upon to entertain a large party at dinner. She
consulted with Nichol, her faithful servant, and all
the arrangements were made for the great event. As
the company were arriving, the lady saw Nichol
running about in great agitation, and in his shirt
sleeves. She remonstrated, and said that as the

136 REMINISCENCES OF

gussts were coining in he must put on his coat.
" Indeed, my lady," was his excited reply, " indeed,
there s sae muckle rinnin here and rinnin there, that
I m just distrackit. I hae cuist n my coat and waist
coat, and faith I dinna ken how lang I can thole* my
breeks." There is often a ready wit in this class of
character, marked by their replies. I have the follow
ing communicated from an ear- witness : " Weel,
Peggy," said a man to an old family servant, " I
wonder ye re aye single yet ! " Me marry," said
she, indignantly ; " I wouldna gie my single life for
a the double anes I ever saw ! "

An old woman was exhorting a servant once about
her ways. " You serve the deevil," said she. " Me !"
said the girl ; " na, na, I dinna serve the deevil ; I
serve ae single lady."

A baby was out with the nurse, who walked it up
and down the garden. " Is t a laddie or a lassie ?
said the gardener. " A laddie," said the maid.
" Weel," says he, I m glad o that, for there s ower
mony women in the world." " Hech, man," said
Jess, " div ye no ken there s aye maist sawn o the
best crap 1

The answers of servants used curiously to illustrate
habits and manners of the time, as the economical
modes of her mistress s life were well touched by the
lass who thus described her ways and domestic habits
w^ith her household : " She s vicious upo the wark ;
but eh, she s vary mysterious o the victualling."

A country habit of making the gathering of the
congregation in the churchyard previous to and after
divine service an occasion for gossip and business,
which I remember well, is thoroughly described in
the following: A lady, on hiring a servant girl in

* Bear.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 137

the country, told her, as a great indulgence, that she
should have the liberty of attending the church every
Sunday, but that she would be expected to return
home always immediately on the conclusion of service.
The lady, however, rather unexpectedly found a
positive objection raised against this apparently
reasonable arrangement. ft Then I canna engage wi
ye, mem ; for deed I wadna gie the crack i the kirk-
yard for a the sermon."

There is another storv which shows that a Greater

\j

importance might be attached to the crack i the kirk-
yard than was done even by the servant lass mentioned
above. A rather rough subject, residing in Galloway,
used to attend church regularly, as it appeared, for
the sake of the crack ; for on being taken to task for
his absenting himself, he remarked, " There s nae need
to gang to the kirk noo, for everybody gets a news
paper."

The changes that many of us have lived to witness
in this kind of intercourse between families and old
servants is a part of a still greater change the change
in that modification of the feudal system, the attach
ment of clans. This, also, from transfers of property
and extinction of old families in the Highlands, as
well as from more general causes, is passing away ;
and it includes also changes in the intercourse between
landed proprietors and cottagers, and abolition of
harvest-homes, and such meetings. People are now
more independent of each other, and service has
become a pecuniary and not a sentimental question.
The extreme contrast of that old-fashioned Scottish
intercourse of families with their servants and depend
ants, of which I have given some amusing examples,
is found in the modern manufactory system. There
the service is a mere question of personal interest.

138 REMINISCENCES OF

One of our first practical engineers, and one of the
first engine-makers in England, stated that he
employed and paid handsomely on an average 1200
workmen ; but that they held so little feeling for him
as their master, that not above half-a-dozen of the
number would notice him when passing him, either
in the works or out of work hours. Contrast this
advanced state of dependants indifference with the
familiarity of domestic intercourse we have been
describing !

It has been suggested by my esteemed friend, Dr.
W. Lindsay Alexander, that Scottish anecdotes deal
too exclusively with the shrewd, quaint, and pawky
humour of our countrymen, and have not sufficiently
illustrated the deep pathos and strong loving-kindness
of the "kindly Scot," qualities which, however
little appreciated across the Border, abound in Scottish
poetry and Scottish life. For example, to take the
case before us of these old retainers, although snappy
and disagreeable to the last degree in their replies,
and often most provoking in their ways, they were
yet deeply and sincerely attached to the family where
they had so long been domesticated ; and the servant
who would reply to her mistress s order to mend the
fire by the short answer, " The fire s weel eneuch,"
would at the same time evince much interest in all
that might assist her in sustaining the credit of her
domestic economy ; as, for example, whispering in
her ear at dinner, " Press the jeelies ; they winna
keep ;" and had the hour of real trial and of difficulty
come to the family, would have gone to the death for
them, and shared their greatest privations. Dr.
Alexander gives a very interesting example of kind
ness and affectionate attachment in an old Scottish
domestic of his own family, whose quaint and odd

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 139

familiarity was charming. I give it in his own words :
" When I was a child there was an old servant at
Pinkieburn, where my early days were spent, who
had been all her life, I may say, in the house for she
came to it a child, and lived, without ever leaving it,
till she died in it, seventy-five years of age. Her
feeling to her old master, who was just two years
younger than herself, was a curious compound of the
deference of a servant and the familiarity and affec
tion of a sister. She had known him as a boy, lad,
man, and old man, and she seemed to have a sort of
notion that without her he must be a very helpless
being indeed. 1 1 aye keepit the hoose for him,
whether he was hame or awa , was a frequent utter
ance of hers ; and she never seemed to think the
intrusion even of his own nieces, who latterly lived
with him, at all legitimate. When on her deathbed,
he hobbled to her room with difficulty, having just
got over a severe attack of gout, to bid her farewell.
I chanced to be present, but was too young to remem
ber what passed, except one thing, which probably
was rather recalled to me afterwards than properly
recollected by me. It was her last request. Laird,
said she (for so she always called him, though his
lairdship was of the smallest), will ye tell them to
bury me whaur I ll lie across at your feet V I have
always thought this characteristic of the old Scotch
servant, and as such I send it to you."

And here I would introduce another story which
struck me very forcibly as illustrating the union of
the qualities referred to by Dr. Alexander. In the
following narrative, how deep and tender a feeling is
expressed in a brief dry sentence ! I give Mr. Scott s
language :* " My brother and I were, during our

* Rev. K, Scott of Cranwell.

140 REMINISCENCES OF

High School vacation, some forty years ago, very much
indebted to the kindness of a clever young carpenter
employed in the machinery workshop of New Lanark
Mills, near to which we were residing during our six
weeks holidays. It was he Samuel Shaw, our dear
companion- -who first taught us to saw, and to plane,
and to turn too ; and who made us the bows and
arrows in which we so much delighted. The vacation
over, and our hearts very sore, but bound to Samuel
Shaw for ever, our mother sought to place some
pecuniary recompense in his hand at parting, for all
the great kindness he had shown her boys. Samuel
looked in her face, and gently moving her hand aside,
with an affectionate look cast upon us, who were by,
exclaimed, in a tone which had sorrow in it, " Noo,
Mrs. Scott, ye hae spoilt a\" After such an appeal,
it may be supposed no recompense, in silver or in
gold, remained with Samuel Shaw.

On the subject of the old Scottish domestic, I have
to acknowledge a kind communication from Lord
Kinloch, which I give in his Lordship s words :
" My father had been in the counting-house of the
well-known David Dale, the founder of the Lanark
Mills, and eminent for his benevolence. Mr. Dale,
who it would appear was a short stout man, had a
person in his employment named Matthew, who was
permitted that familiarity with his master which was
so characteristic of the former generation. One win
ter day Mr. Dale came into the counting-house, and
complained that he had fallen on the ice. Matthew,
who saw that his master was not much hurt, grinned
a sarcastic smile. I fell all my length, said Mr.
Dale. l Nae great length, sir, said Matthew. In
deed, Matthew, ye need not laugh, said Mr. Dale ;
I have hurt the sma o my back. I wunner whaur

SCOTTISH LIFE <l- CHARACTER. 141

tlmt is, said Matthew." Indeed, specimens like
Matthew, of serving-men of the former time, have
latterly been fast going out, but I remember one
or two such. A lady of my acquaintance had one
named John in her house at Portobello. I remember
how my modern ideas were offended by John s fami
liarity when waiting at table. " Some more wine,
John," said his mistress. " There s some i the bottle,
mem," said John. A little after, " Mend the fire,
John." " The fire s weel eneuch, mem," replied the
impracticable John. Another " John of my ac
quaintance was in the family of Mrs. Campbell of Ard-
nave, mother of the Princess Polignac and the Hon.
Mrs. Archibald Macdonald. A young lady visiting
in the family asked John at dinner for a potato.
John made no response. Thf* request was repeated ;
when John, putting his mouth to her ear, said, very
audibly, " There s jist twa in the dish, and they maun
be keepit for the strangers."

The following was sent me by a kind correspondent
a learned Professor in India as a sample of squab
bling between Scottish servants. A mistress observing
something peculiar in her maid s manner, addressed
her, " Dear me, Tibbie, what are you so snappish
about, that you go knocking the things as you dust
them?" "Ou, mem, it s Jock." "Well, what has
Jock been doing V " Ou (with an indescribable, but
easily imaginable toss of the head), he was angry at
me, an misca d me, an I said I was juist as the Lord

had made me, an " "Well, Tibbie?" "An

he said the Lord could hae had little to dae whan he
made me." The idea of Tibbie being the work of an
idle moment was one, the deliciousness of which was
not likely to be relished by the lassie.

The following characteristic anecdote of a Highland

142 REMINISCENCES OF

servant I have received from the same correspondent.
An English gentleman, travelling in the Highlands,
was rather late of coming down to dinner. Donald
was sent up stairs to intimate that all was ready.
He speedily returned, nodding significantly, as much
as to say that it was all right. " But, Donald," said
the master, after some further trial of a hungry man s
patience, " are ye sure ye made the gentleman under
stand 1" "Understand?" retorted Donald (who had
peeped into the room and found the guest engaged
at his toilet), " I se warrant ye he understands ; he s
sharping his teeth," not supposing the tooth-brush
could be for any other use.

There have been some very amusing instances
given of the matter-of-fact obedience paid to orders
by Highland retainers when made to perform the
ordinary duties of domestic servants ; as when Mr.
Campbell, a Highland gentleman, visiting in a country
house, and telling Donald to bring everything out of
the bedroom, found all its movable articles fender,
fire-irons, etc. piled up in the lobby ; so literal was
the poor man s sense of obedience to orders ! And
of this he gave a still more extraordinary proof dur
ing his sojourn in Edinburgh, by a very ludicrous ex
ploit. When the family moved into a house there,
Mrs. Campbell gave him very particular instructions
regarding visitors, explaining that they were to be
shown into the drawing-room, and no doubt used the
Scotticism, " Carry any ladies that call up stairs."
On the arrival of the first visitors, Donald was eager
to show his strict attention to the mistress s orders.
Two ladies came together, and Donald, seizing one in
his arms, said to the other, " Bide ye there till I come
for ye," and, in spite of her struggles and remon-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 143

strances, ushered the terrified visitor into Mrs. Camp
bell s presence in this unwonted fashion.

Another case of literal obedience to orders pro
duced a somewhat startling form of message. A
servant of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole,
formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the
doctor every morning to report the state of her health,
how she had slept, etc., with strict injunctions always
to add, " with her compliments." At length, one
morning the girl brought this extraordinary message :

" Miss S s compliments, and she dee d last

night at aicht o clock ! "

I recollect, in Montrose (that fruitful field for old
Scottish stories !), a most naive reply from an honest
lass, servant to old Mrs. Captain Fullerton. A party
of gentlemen had dined with Mrs. Fullerton, and they
had a turkey for dinner. Mrs. F. proposed that one
of the legs should be deviled, and the gentlemen have
it served up as a relish for their wine. Accordingly
one of the company skilled in the mystery prepared
it with pepper, cayenne, mustard, ketchup, etc. He
gave it to Lizzy, and told her to take it down to the
kitchen, supposing, as a matter of course, she would
know that it was to be broiled, and brought back in
due time. But in a little while, when it was rung for,
Lizzy very innocently replied that she had eaten it up.
As it was sent back to the kitchen, her only idea was
that it must be for herself. But on surprise being
expressed that she had eaten what was so highly
peppered and seasoned, she very quaintly answered,
" Ou, I liket it a the better."

A well-known servant of the old school was John,
the servant of Pitfour, Mr. Ferguson, M.P., himself a
most eccentric character, long father of the House of
Commons, and a great friend of Pitt. John used to

144 REMINISCENCES OF

entertain the tenants, on Pitfour s brief visits to his
estate, with numerous anecdotes of his master and Mr.
Pitt ; but he always prefaced them with something in
the style of Cardinal Wolsey s Ego et rex meus with
" Me, and Pitt, and Pitfour," went somewhere, or
performed some exploit. The famous Duchess of
Gordon once wrote a note to John (the name of this
eccentric valet), and said, " John, put Pitfour into the
carriage on Tuesday, and bring him up to Gordon
Castle to dinner." After sufficiently scratching his
head, and considering what he should do, he showed
the letter to Pitfour, who smiled, and said drily,
" Well, John, I suppose we must go."

An old domestic of this class gave a capital reason
to his young master for his being allowed to do as he
liked : " Ye needna find faut wi* me, Maister Jeems ;
/ liae been langer aboot the place than yersel"

It may seem ungracious to close this chapter with
a communication which appears to convey an un
favourable impression of an old servant. But the
truth is, real and attached domestic service does not
offer its pleasures and advantages without some alloy
of annoyance, and yet how much the solid benefits
prevail over any occasional drawbacks !

The late Eev. Mr. Leslie of St. Andrcw-Lhanbryd,
a parish in Morayshire, in describing an old servant
who had been with him thirty years, said, " The first
ten years she was an excellent servant ; the second
ten she was a good mistress ; but the third ten she
was a perfect tyrant."

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER.

CHAPTER THE FIFTH.

SCOTTISH JUDGES.

THERE is no class of men which stands out more
prominent in the reminiscences of the last hundred
years than that of our SCOTTISH JUDGES. They form,
in many instances, a type or representative of the
leading peculiarities of Scottish life and manners.
They are mixed up with all our affairs, social and
political. There are to be found in the annals of the
bench rich examples of pure Scottish humour, the
strongest peculiarity of Scottish phraseology, acute-
ness of intellect, cutting wit, eccentricity of manners,
and abundant powers of conviviality. Their succes
sors no longer furnish the same anecdotes of oddity
or of intemperance. The Courts of the Scottish
Parliament House, without lacking the learning or
the law of those who sat there sixty years ago, lack
not the refinement and the dignity that have long
distinguished the Courts of Westminster Hall.

Stories still exist, traditionary in society, amongst
its older members, regarding Lords Gardenstone,
Monboddo, Hermand, Newton, Polkemmet, Braxfield,
etc. But many younger persons do not know them.
It may be interesting to some of my readers to devote
a few pages to the subject, and to offer some judicial
gleanings.*

* I have derived some information from a curious book,
" Kay s Portraits," 2 vols. The work is scarcely known in
England, and is becoming rare in Scotland. "Nothing can

146 REMINISCENCES Of

I have two anecdotes to show that, both in social
and judicial life, a remarkable change must have taken
place amongst the " fifteen." I am assured that the
following scene took place at the table of Lord Pol-
kemmet, at a dinner party in his house. When the
covers were removed, the dinner was seen to consist
of veal broth, a roast fillet of veal, veal cutlets, a
florentine (an excellent old Scottish dish composed of
veal), a calf s head, calf s foot jelly. The worthy
judge could not help observing a surprise on the
countenance of his guests, and perhaps a simper on
some \ so he broke out in explanation : " Ou ay, it s
a cauf ; when we kill a beast we just eat up ae side,
and down the tither." The expressions he used to
describe his own judicial preparations for the bench
were very characteristic : " Ye see I first read a the
pleadings, and then, after lettin them wamble in my
wame wi the toddy twa or three days, I gie my
ain interlocutor." For a moment suppose such anec
dotes to be told now of any of our high legal function
aries. Imagine the feelings of surprise that would
be called forth were the present Justice-Clerk to
adopt such imagery in describing the process of
preparing his legal judgment on a difficult case in his
court !

In regard to the wit of the Scottish bar. It is a
subject which I do not pretend to illustrate. It
would require a volume for itself. One anecdote,
however, I cannot resist, and I record it as forming
a striking example of the class of Scottish humour
which, with our dialect, has lost its distinctive charac
teristics. John Clerk (afterwards a judge by the

be more valuable in the way of engraved portraits than these
representations of the distinguished men who adorned Edinburgh
iu the latter part of the eighteenth century." Cfiambcrs.

SCOTTISH LIFE d CHARACTER. 147

title of Lord Eldin) was arguing a Scotch appeal
case before the House of Lords. His client claimed
the use of a mill-stream by a prescriptive right. Mr.
Clerk spoke broad Scotch, and argued that "the
waiter had rin that way for forty years. Indeed nae-
body kenn d how long, and why should his client
now be deprived of the watter?" etc. The chancel
lor, much amused at the pronunciation of the Scottish
advocate, in a rather bantering tone anked him, " Mr.
Clerk, do you spell water in Scotland with two t s ? "
Clerk, a little nettled at this hit at his national tongue,
answered, " Na, my Lord, we dinna spell wattei
(making the word as short as he could) wi twa t s,
but we spell mainners (making the word as long as
he could) wi twa n s."

John Clerk s vernacular version of the motto of the
Celtic Club is highly characteristic of his humour and
his prejudice. He had a strong dislike to the whole
Highland race, and the motto assumed by the modern
Celts, " Olim marte, nunc arte," Clerk translated
" Formerly robbers, now thieves." Quite equal to
Swift s celebrated remark on William III. s motto
Recepit, non rapuit " that the receiver was as bad as
the thief." Very dry and pithy too was Clerk s legal
opinion given to a claimant of the Annandale peerage,
who, when pressing the employment of some obvious
forgeries, was warned that if he persevered, nae doot
he might be a peer, but it would be a peer o anither
tree !

The clever author of " Peter s Letters " gives an
elaborate description of Clerk s character whilst at the
bar, and speaks of him as " the plainest, the shrewd
est, and the most sarcastic of men." Nor could he
entirely repress these peculiarities when raised to the
bench under the title of Lord Eldin.

148 REMINISCENCES OF

His defence of a young friend, v/ho was an advo
cate, and had incurred the displeasure of the Judges,
has often been repeated. Mr. Clerk had been called
upon to offer his apologies for disrespect, or implied
disrespect, in his manner of addressing the Bench.
The advocate had given great offence by expressing
his " astonishment at something which had ema
nated from their Lordships, implying by it his dis
approval. He got Lord Eldin, who was connected
with him, to make an apology for him. But Clerk
could not resist his humorous vein by very equivo
cally adding, "My client has expressed his astonish
ment, my Lords, at what he had met with here ; if
my young friend had known this court as long as I
have, he would have been astonished at nothing."

A. kind Perthshire correspondent has sent me
a characteristic anecdote, which has strong in
ternal evidence of being genuine. When Clerk
was raised to the Bench he presented his credentials
to the Court, and, according to custom, was received
by the presiding Judge who, on this occasion, in a
somewhat sarcastic tone, referred to the delay which
had taken place in his reaching a position for which
he had so long been qualified, and to which he must
have long aspired. He hinted at the long absence of
the Whig party from political power as the cause of
this delay, which offended Clerk ; and he paid it off
by intimating in his pithy and bitter tone, which he
could so well assume, that it was not of so much
consequence " Because," as he said, " ye see, my
Lord, I was not juist sae sune doited as some o your
Lordships."

The following account of his conducting a case is
also highly characteristic. Two individuals, the one
a mason, the other a carpenter, both residenters in

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 149

West Portsburgh, formed a copartnery, and com
menced building houses within the boundaries of
the burgh corporation. One of the partners was a
freeman, the other not. The corporation, considering
its rights invaded by a non-freeman exercising privi
leges only accorded to one of their body, brought
an action in the Court of Session against the inter
loper, and his partner as aiding and abetting. Mr.
John Clerk, then an advocate, was engaged for the
defendants. How the cause was decided matters
little. What was really curious in the affair was
the naively droll manner in which the advocate for
the defence opened his pleading before the Lord
Ordinary. " My Lord," commenced John, in his
purest Doric, at the same time pushing up his spec
tacles to his brow and hitching his gown over his
shoulders, " I wad hae thocht naething o t (the action),
had hooses been a new invention, and my clients
been caught ouvertly impingin on the patent richts
o 1 the inventors !

Of Lord Gardenstone (Francis Garden) I have
many early personal reminiscences, as his property of
Johnstone was in the Howe of the Mearns, not far
from my early home. He was a man of energy, and
promoted improvements in the county with skill and
practical sagacity. His favourite scheme was to
establish a flourishing town upon his property, and
he spared no pains or expense in promoting the
importance of his village of Laurencekirk. He built
an excellent inn, to render it a stage for posting.
He built and endowed an Episcopal chapel for the
benefit of his English immigrants, in the vestry of
which he placed a most respectable library ; and he
encouraged manufacturers of all kinds to settle in

the place. Amongst others, as we have seen, came

R

150 REMINISCENCES OF

the hatter who found only three hats in the kirk.
His lordship was much taken up with his hotel
or inn, and for which he provided a large volume for
receiving the written contributions of travellers who
frequented it. It was the landlady s business to pre
sent this volume to the guests, and ask them to write
in it during the evenings whatever occurred to their
memory or their imagination. In the mornings it
was a favourite amusement of Lord Gardenstone to
look it over. I recollect Sir Walter Scott being
much taken with this contrivance, and his asking
me about it at Abbotsford. His son said to him,
"You should establish such a book, sir, at Melrose ;"
upon which Sir W. replied, " No, Walter ; I should
just have to see a great deal of abuse of myself. *
On his son deprecating such a result, and on his
observing my surprised look, he answered, "Well,
well, I should have to read a great deal of foolish
praise, which is much the same thing." An amusing
account is given of the cause of Lord Gardenstone
withdrawing this volume from the hotel, and of his
determination to submit it no more to the tender
mercies of the passing traveller. As Professor Stuart
of Aberdeen was passing an evening at the inn, the
volume was handed to him, and he wrote in it the
following lines, in the style of the prophecies of
Thomas the Ehyrner :

" Frae sma beginnings Rome of auld
Became a great imperial city ;
Twas peopled first, as we are tauld,
By bankrupts, vagabonds, banditti.
Quoth Thamas, Then the day may come,
When Laurencekirk shall equal Rome."

These lines so nettled Lord Gardenstone, that the
volume disappeared, and was never seen afterwards

SCOTTISH LIFE Off AM AC TEE. 151

in the inn of Laurencekirk. There is another linger
ing reminiscence which I retain connected with the inn
at Laurencekirk. The landlord, Mr. Cream, was a
man well known throughout all the county, and was
distinguished, in his later years, as one of the few
men who continued to wear a, pigtail. On one occasion
the late Lord Dunmore (grandfather or great-grand
father of the present peer), who also still wore his
queue, halted for a night at Laurencekirk. On the
host leaving the room, where he had come to take
orders for supper, Lord Dunmore turned to his valet
and said, " Johnstone, do I look as like a fool in my
pigtail as Billy Cream doesf -"Much about it, my
lord," was the valet s imperturbable answer. " Then,"
said his lordship, " cut off mine to-morrow morning
when I dress."

Lord Gardenstone seemed to have had two favourite
tastes : he indulged in the love of pigs and the love
of snuff. He took a young pig as a pet, and it be
came quite tame, and followed him about like a dog.
At first the animal shared his bed, but when, growing
up to advanced swinehood, it became unfit for such
companionship, he had it to sleep in his room, in which
he made a comfortable couch for it of his own clothes.
His snuff he kept not in a box, but in a leathern
waist-pocket made for the purpose. He took it in
enormous quantities, and used to say that if he had
a dozen noses he would feed them all. Lord Garden-
stone died 1793.

Lord Monboddo (James Burnet, Esq. of Monboddo)
is another of the well-known members of the Scottish
Bench, who combined, with many eccentricities of
opinion and habits, great learning and a most amiable
disposition. From his paternal property being in the
county of Kincardine, and Lord M. being a visitor at

152 REMINISCENCES OF

ray father s house, and indeed a relation or clansman,
I have many early reminiscences of stories which I
have heard of the learned judge. His speculations
regarding the origin of the human race have, in times
past, excited much interest and amusement. His
theory was that man emerged from a wild and savage
condition, much resembling that of apes ; that man
had then a tail like other animals, but which by pro
gressive civilisation and the constant habit of sitting,
had become obsolete. This theory produced many a joke
from facetious and superficial people, who had never
read any of the arguments of the able and elaborate
work, by which the ingenious and learned author main
tained his theory.* Lord Kames, a brother judge, had
his joke on it. On some occasion of their meeting, Lord
Monboddo was for giving Lord Kames the prece
dency. Lord K. declined, and drew back, saying, " By
no means, my lord ; you must walk first, that I may
see your tail." I recollect Lord Monboddo s coming
to dine at Fasque caused a great excitement of interest
and curiosity. I was in the nursery, too young to
take part in the investigations ; but my elder brothers
were on the alert to watch his arrival, and get a
glimpse of his tail. Lord M. was really a learned man,
read Greek and Latin authors not as a mere exercise
of classical scholarship but because he identified
himself with their philosophical opinions, and would
have revived Greek customs and modes of life. He
used to give suppers after the manner of the ancients,
and used to astonish his guests by the ancient cookery
of Spartan broth, and of mulsum. He was an enthu-
siastical Platonist. On a visit to Oxford, he was
received with great respect by the scholars of the Uni
versity, who were much interested in meeting with

* Origin and Progress of Language.

SCOTTISH LIFE 4 CHARACTER. 158

one who had studied Plato as a pupil and follower.
In accordance with the old custom at learned univer
sities, Lord Monboddo was determined to address the
Oxonians in Latin, which he spoke with much readi
ness. But they could not stand the numerous slips
in prosody. Lord Monboddo shocked the ears of the
men of Eton and of Winchester by dreadful false
quantities verse-making being, in Scotland, then
quite neglected, and a matter little thought of by the
learned judge.

Lord Monboddo was considered an able lawyer,
and on many occasions exhibited a very clear and
correct judicial discernment of intricate cases. It was
one of his peculiarities that he never sat on the bench
with his brother judges, but always at the clerk s
table. Different reasons for this practice have been
given, but the simple fact seems to have been, that he
was deaf, and heard better at the lower seat. His
mode of travelling was on horseback. He scorned
carriages, on the ground of its being unmanly to " sit
in a box drawn by brutes." When he went to Lon
don he rode the whole way. At the same period,
Mr. Barclay of Ury (father of the well-known Captain
Barclay), when he represented Kineardineshire in
Parliament, always ivalked to London. He was a very
powerful man, and could walk fifty miles a day, his
usual refreshment on the road being a bottle of port
wine, poured into a bowl, and drunk oif at a draught.
I have heard that George III. was much interested
at these performances, and said, " I ought to be proud
of my Scottish subjects, when my judges ride, and my
members of Parliament walk, to the metropolis."

On one occasion of his being in London, Lord Mon
boddo attended a trial in the Court of King s Bench.
A cry was heard that the roof of the court-room

154 REMINISCENCES OF

was giving way, upon which judges, lawyers, and
people made a rush to get to the door. Lord Mon-
boddo viewed the scene from his corner with much
composure. Being deaf and short-sighted, he knew
nothing of the cause of the tumult. The alarm proved
a false one ; and on being asked why he had not be
stirred himself to escape like the rest, he coolly
answered that he supposed it was an annual ceremony,
with which, as an alien to the English laws, he had
no concern, but which he considered it interesting to
witness as a remnant of antiquity ! Lord Monboddo
died 1799.

Lord Kockville (the Hon. Alexander Gordon, third
son of the Earl of Aberdeen) was a judge distinguish
ed in his day by his ability and decorum. " He
adorned the bench by the dignified manliness of his
appearance, and polished urbanity of his manners."*
Like most lawyers of his time, he took his glass freely,
and a whimsical account which he gave, before he
was advanced to the bench, of his having fallen upon
his face, after making too free with the bottle, was
commonly current at the time. Upon his appearing
late at a convivial club with a most rueful expression
of countenance, and on being asked what was the
matter, he -exclaimed with great solemnity, " Gentle
men, I have just met with the most extraordinary
adventure that ever occurred to a human being. As
I was walking along the Grassmarket, all of a sudden
the street f rose up and struck me on the face." He had,
however, a more serious encounter with the street after
he was a judge. In 1792, his foot slipped as he was
going to the Parliament House ; he broke his leg, was
taken home, fevered, and died.

Lord Braxfield (Robert M Queen of Braxfield) was

* Douglas Peerage, vol. i. p. 22.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 155

one of the judges of the old school, well known in his
day, and might be said to possess all the qualities
united, by which the class were remarkable. He spoke
the broadest Scotch. He was a sound and laborious
lawyer. He was fond of a glass of good claret, and
had a great fund of good Scotch humour. He rose
to the dignity of Justice-Clerk, and, in consequence,
presided at many important political criminal trials
about the year 1793-4, such as those of Muir, Palmer,
Skirving, Margarot, Gerrold, etc. He conducted these
trials with much ability and great firmness, occasion
ally, no doubt, with more appearance of severity and
personal prejudice than is usual with the judges who
in later times are called on to preside on similar oc
casions. The disturbed temper of the times and the
daring spirit of the political offenders seemed, he
thought, to call for a bold and fearless front on the
part of the judge, and Braxh eld was the man to show
it, both on the bench and in common life. He met,
however, sometimes with a spirit as bold as his own
from the prisoners before him. When Skirving was
on trial for sedition, he thought Braxfield was threaten
ing him, and by gesture endeavouring to intimidate
him ; accordingly, he boldly addressed the Bench :
" It is altogether unavailing for your Lordship to
menace me, for I have long learnt not to fear the face
of man." I have observed that he adhered to the
broadest Scottish dialect. " Hae ye ony coonsel, man 1 ?"
he said to Maurice Margarot (who, I believe, was an
Englishman). " No," was the reply. " Div ye want
to hae ony appinted ?" "No," replied Margarot; "I
only want an interpreter to make me understand what
your Lordship says." A prisoner, accused of stealing
some linen garments, was one day brought up for tria)
before the old judge, but was acquitted because the

156 REMINISCENCES OF

prosecutor had charged him with stealing shirty
whereas the articles stolen were found to be shifts
female apparel. Braxfield indignantly remarked that
the Crown Counsel should have .called them by the
Scottish name of sarks, which applied to both sexes.

Braxfield -had much humour, and enjoyed wit
in others. He was immensely delighted at a reply
by Dr. M Cubbin, the minister of Bothwell. Brax
field, when Justice -Clerk, was dining at Lord
Douglas s, and observed there was only port upon
the table. In his usual off-hand brusque manner,
he demanded of the noble host if "there was nae
claret i the castle." " Yes," said Lord Douglas ; " but
my butler tells me it is not good." " Let s pree t,"
said Braxfield in his favourite dialect. A bottle was
produced, and declared by all present to be quite ex
cellent. " Noo, minister," said the old judge, address
ing Dr. M Cubbin, who was celebrated as a wit in his
day, " as a fama clamosa has gone forth against this
wine, I propose that you absolve it," playing upon
the terms made use of in the Scottish Church Courts.
" Ay, my Lord," said the minister, " you are first-rate
authority for a case of civil or criminal law, but you
do not quite understand our Church Court practice.
We never absolve till after three several appearances."
The wit and the condition of absolution were alike
relished by the judge. Lord Braxfield closed a long
and useful life in 1799.

Of Lord Hermand we have already had occasion to
speak, as in fact his name has become in some manner
identified with that conviviality which marked almost
as a characteristic the Scottish Bench of his time. He
gained, however, great distinction as a judge, and was
a capital lawyer. When at the bar, Lords Newton
and Hermand were great friends, and many were the

A GUID GANGIN PLEA
From a- water-colour drawing by

HENRY IV. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.SJt .

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 157

convivial meetings they enjoyed together. But Lord
Hermand outlived all his old last-century contempo
raries, and formed with Lord Balgray what we may
consider the connecting links between the past and
the present race of Scottish lawyers.

Lord Kames was a keen agricultural experiment
alist, and in his Gentleman Farmer anticipated many
modern improvements. He was, however, occasionally
too sanguine. " John," said he one day to his old over
seer, " I think we ll see the day when a man may
carry out as much chemical manure in his waistcoat
pocket as will serve for a whole field." "Weel,"
rejoined the other, " I am of opinion that if your
lordship were to carry out the dung in your waist
coat pocket, ye might bring hame the crap in your
greatcoat pocket."

We could scarcely perhaps offer a more marked
difference between habits once tolerated on the bench
and those which now distinguish the august seat of
Senators of Justice, than by quoting, from Kay s
Portraits, vol. ii. p. 278, a sally of a Lord of Session
of those days, which he played off, when sitting as
judge, upon a young friend whom he was determined
to frighten. " A young counsel was addressing
him on some not very important point that had
arisen in the division of a common (or commonty,
according to law phraseology), when, having made some
bold averment, the judge exclaimed, That s a lee,
Jemmie. My lord ! ejaculated the amazed barrister.
Ay, ay, Jemmie ; I see by your face ye re leeinV
Indeed, my lord, I am not/ Dinna tell me that ;
it s no in your memorial (brief) awa wi you ; and,
overcome with astonishment and vexation, the discom
fited barrister left the bar. The judge thereupon
chuckled with infinite delight ; and beckoning to the

158 REMINISCENCES OF

clerk who attended on the occasion, he said, Are ye

no Kabbie H s man V Yes, my lord. Wasna

Jemmie leein 1 Oh no, my lord. Ye re quite

sureT Oh yes/ Then just write out what you
want, and I ll sign it ; my faith, but I made Jemmie
stare. So the decision was dictated by the clerk, and
duly signed by the judge, who left the bench highly
diverted with the fright he had given his young
friend." Such scenes enacted in court now would
astonish the present generation, both of lawyers and
of suitors.

We should not do justice to our Scottish Eemini-
scences of judges and lawyers, if we omitted the once
celebrated Court of Session jeu d esprit called the
"Diamond Beetle Case." This burlesque report of
a judgment was written by George Cranstoun, advo
cate, who afterwards sat in court as judge under the
title of Lord Corehouse. Cranstoun was one of the
ablest lawyers of his time ; he was a prime scholar,
and a man of most refined taste and clear intellect.
This humorous and clever production was printed in
a former edition of these Reminiscences, and in a
very flattering notice of the book which appeared
in the North British Review, the reviewer himself, as
is well known, a distinguished member of the
Scottish judicial bench remarks : " We are glad that
the whole of the Diamond Beetle by Cranstoun has
been given ; for nothing can be more graphic, spirited,
and ludicrous, than the characteristic speeches of
the learned judges who deliver their opinions in the
case of defamation." As copies of this very clever
and jocose production are not now easily obtained,
and as some of my younger readers may not have
seen it, I have reprinted it in this edition. Considered
in the light of a memorial of the bench, as it was known

SCOTTISH LIFE d< CHARACTER. 159

to a former generation, it is well worth preserving ;
for, as the editor of Kay s Portraits well observes,
although it is a caricature, it is entirely without ran
cour, or any feeling of a malevolent nature towards
those whom the author represents as giving judgment
in the " Diamond Beetle" case. And in no way could
the involved phraseology of Lord Bannatyne, the pre
dilection for Latin quotation of Lord Meadowbank,
the brisk manner of Lord Hermand, the anti-Gallic
feeling of Lord Craig, the broad dialect of Lords Pol-
kemmet and Balmuto, and the hesitating manner of
Lord Methven, be more admirably caricatured.

FULL COPY OF THE FINDING OF THE COURT IN
THE ONCE CELEBRATED " DIAMOND BEETLE
CASE." *

Speeches taken at advising the Action of Defamation and
Damages, ALEXANDER CUNNINGHAM, Jeweller in
Edinburgh, against JAMES RUSSELL, Surgeon there.

"THE LORD PRESIDENT (Sm ILAY CAMPBELL).
Your Lordships have the petition of Alexander
Cunningham against Lord Bannatyne s interlocutor.
It is a case of defamation and damages for calling the
petitioner s Diamond Heetle an Egyptian Louse. You
have the Lord Ordinary s distinct interlocutor, on
pages 29 and 30 of this petition: Having con
sidered the Condescendence of the pursuer, Answers
for the defender, and so on ; Finds, in respect that
it is not alleged that the diamonds on the back of

The version I have given of this amusing burlesque was
revised by the late Mr. Pagan, Cupar-Fife, and corrected from
his own manuscript copy, which he had procured from authentic
sources about forty years ago.

160 REMINISCENCES OF

the Diamond Beetle are real diamonds, or anything but
shining spots, such as are found on other Diamond
Beetles, which likewise occur, though in a smaller
number, on a great number of other Beetles, somewhat
different from the Beetle libelled, and similar to which
there may be Beetles in Egypt, with shining spots
on their backs, which may be termed Lice there, and
may be different not only from the common Louse,
but from the Louse mentioned by Moses as one of the
plagues of Egypt, which is admitted to be a filthy
troublesome Louse, even worse than the said Louse,
which is clearly different from the Louse libelled.
But that the other Louse is the same with, or similar
to, the said Beetle, which is also the same with the
other Beetle ; and although different from the said
Beetle "libelled, yet, as the said Beetle is similar to
the other Beetle, and the said Louse to the other
Louse libelled ; and the other Louse to the other
Beetle, which is the same with, or similar to, the
Beetle which somewhat resembles the Beetle libelled ;
assoilzies the defender, and finds expenses due/

" Say away, my Lords.

" LORD MEADOWBANK.- -This is a very intricate
and puzzling question, my Lord. I have formed no
decided opinion ; but at present I am rather inclined
to think the interlocutor is right, though not upon
the ratio assigned in it. It appears to me that there
are two points for consideration. First, whether the
words libelled amount to a convicium against the
Beetle ; and Secondly, admitting the convicium, whether
the pursuer is entitled to found upon it in this action.
Now, my Lords, if there be a convicium at all, it con
sists in the comparatio or comparison of the Scarabceus
or Beetle with the Egyptian Pediculus or Louse. My
first doubt regards this point, but it is not at all

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 161

founded on what the defender alleges, that there is
no such animal as an Egyptian Pediculus or Louse in
rerum natura ; for though it does not actually exist, it
may possibly exist (if not in actio 9 yet in potentia if
not in actuality, yet in potentiality or capacity) ; and
whether its existence be in esse vel posse, is the same
thing to this question, provided there be termini habiles
for ascertaining what it would be if it did exist. But
my doubt is here : How am I to discover what are
the essentia of any Louse, whether Egyptian or not ?
It is very easy to describe its accidents as a naturalist
would do to say that it belongs to the tribe of Aptera
(or, that is, a yellow, little, greedy, filthy, despicable
reptile), but we do not learn from this what the pro-
prium of the animal is in a logical sense, and still less
what its differentia are. Now, without these it is
impossible to judge whether there is a convicium or
not ; for, in a case of this kind, which seguitur natu-
ram delicti, we must take them meliori sensu, and
presume the comparatio to be in melioribus tantum.
And here I beg that parties, and the bar in general
[interrupted by Lord Hermand : Your Lordship should
address yourself to the Chair] I say, I beg it may be
understood that I do not rest my opinion on the
ground that veritas convicii excusat. I am clear that
although this Beetle actually were an Egyptian Louse,
it would accord no relevant defence, provided the
calling it so were a convicium; and there my doubt
lies.

" With regard to the second point, I am satisfied
that the Scarabceus or Beetle itself has no persona
standi in judicio ; and therefore the pursuer cannot
insist in the name of the Scarabceus, or for his behoof.
If the action lie at all, it must be at the instance of
the pursuer himself, as the verus dominus of the Scara-

162 REMINISCENCES OF

bceus, for being calumniated through the conmcium
directed primarily against the animal standing in that
relation to him. Now, abstracting from the qualifica
tion of an actual dominium, which is not alleged, I have
great doubts whether a mere convicium is necessarily
transmitted from one object to another, through the
relation of a dominium subsisting between them; and
if not necessarily transmissible, we must see the
principle of its actual transmission here ; and that has
not yet been pointed out.

" LORD HERMAND.- -We heard a little ago, my
Lord, that there is a difficulty in this case ; but I
have not been fortunate enough, for my part, to find
out where the difficulty lies. Will any man presume
to tell me that a Beetle is not a Beetle, and that a
Louse is not a Louse 1 I never saw the petitioner s
Beetle, and what s more I don t care whether I ever
see it or not ; but I suppose it s like other Beetles,
and that s enough for me.

" But, my Lord, I know the other reptile well. I
have seen them, I have felt them, my Lord, ever since
I was a child in my mother s arms ; and my mind
tells me that nothing but the deepest and blackest
malice rankling in the human breast could have
suggested this comparison, or led any man to form a
thought so injurious and insulting. But, my Lord,
there s more here than all that a great deal more.
One could have thought the defender would have
gratified his spite to the full by comparing the Beetle
to a common Louse an animal sufficiently vile and
abominable for the purpose of defamation [Shut that
door there] but he adds the epithet Egyptian, and I
know well what he means by that epithet. He means,
my Lord, a Louse that has been fattened on the head
of a Gipsy or Tinker, undisturbed by the comb or nail.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 163

and unmolested in the enjoyment of its native filth.
He means a Louse grown to its full size, ten times
larger and ten times more abominable than those with
which your Lordships and I are familiar. The peti
tioner asks redress for the injury so atrocious and so
aggravated ; and, as far as my voice goes, he shall not
ask it in vain.

" LORD CRAIG. I am of the opinion last delivered.
It appears to me to be slanderous and calumnious to
compare a Diamond Beetle to the filthy and mischie
vous animal libelled. By an Egyptian Louse I under
stand one which has been foimed on the head of a
native Egyptian a race of men who, after degenerat
ing for many centuries, have sunk at last into the
abyss of depravity, in consequence of having been sub
jugated for a time by the French. I do not find that
Turgot, or Condorcet, or the rest of the economists,
ever reckoned the combing of the head a species of
productive labour ; and I conclude, therefore, that
wherever French principles have been propagated,
Lice grow to an immoderate size, especially in a warm
climate like that of Egypt. I shall only add, that we
ought to be sensible of the blessings we enjoy under
a free and happy Constitution, where Lice and men
live under the restraint of equal laws the only
equality that can exist in a well-regulated state.

" LORD POLKEMMET. It should be observed, my
Lord, that what is called a Beetle is a reptile
very well known in this country. I have seen mony
ane o them in Drumshorlin Muir ; it is a little black
beastie, about the size of my thoom-nail. The country
folks ca them Clocks ; and I believe they ca them
also Maggy-wi -the-mony-feet ; but they are not the
least like any Louse that ever I saw ; so that, in my
opinion, though the defender may have made s

164 REMINISCENCES OF

blunder through ignorance, in comparing them, there
does not seem to have been any animus injuriandi ;
therefore I am for refusing the petition, my Lords.

" LORD BALMUTO. Am* for refusing the petition.
There s more Lice than Beetles in Fife. They ca
them Clocks there. What they ca a Beetle is a thing
as lang as my arm ; thick at one end and sma at the
other. I thought, when I read the petition, that the
Beetle or Bittle had been the thing that the women
have when they are washing towels or napery with
things for dadding them with ; and I see the petitioner
is a jeweller till his trade ; and I thought he
had ane o thae Beetles, and set it all round with
diamonds ; and I thought it a foolish and extravagant
idea ; and I saw no resemblance it could have to a
Louse. But I find I was mistaken, my Lord ; and I
find it only a Beetle-clock the petitioner has; but my
opinion s the same as it was before. I say, my Lords,
am for refusing the petition, I say

" LORD WOODHOUSELEE. There is a case abridged
in the third volume of the Dictionary of Decisions,
Chalmers v. Douglas, in which it was found that
veritas convicii excusat, which may be rendered not
literally, but in a free and spirited manner, according
to the most approved principles of translation, the
truth of calumny affords a relevant defence. If,
therefore, it be the law of Scotland (which I am
clearly of opinion it is) that the truth of the calumny
affords a relevant defence, and if it be likewise true
that the Diamond Beetle is really an Egyptian Louse,
I am inclined to conclude (though certainly the case
is attended with difficulty) that the defender ought
to be assoilzied. Refuse.

" LORD JUSTICE-CLERK (RAE). I am very well ac-

* His Lordship usually pronounced I am Aum*

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 165

quainted with the defender in this action, and have
respect for him, and esteem him likewise. I know
him to be a skilful and expert surgeon, and also a
good man ; and I would do a great deal to serve him
or to be of use to him, if I had it in my power to do
so. But 1 think on this occasion he has spoken
rashly, and I fear foolishly and improperly. I hope
he had no bad intention I am sure he had not.
But the petitioner (for whom I have likewise a great
respect, because I knew his father, who was a very
respectable baker in Edinburgh, and supplied niy
family with bread, and very good bread it was, and
for which his accounts were regularly discharged), it
seems, has a Clock or a Beetle, I think it is called a
Diamond Beetle, which he is very fond of, and has a
fancy for, and the defender has compared it to a
Louse, or a Bug, or a Flea, or a worse thing of that
kind, with a view to render it despicable or ridiculous,
and the petitioner so likewise, as the proprietor or
owner thereof. It is said that this is a Louse in fact,
and that the veritas convicii excusat ; and mention is
made of a decision in the case of Chalmers v. Douglas.
I have always had a great veneration for the de
cisions of your Lordships ; and I am sure will always
continue to have while I sit here ; but that case was
determined by a very small majority, and I have
heard your Lordships mention it on various occasions,
and you have always desiderated the propriety of it,
and I think have departed from it in some instances.
I remember the circumstances of the case well :
Helen Chalmers lived in Musselburgh, and the de
fender, Mrs. Douglas, lived in Fisherrow ; and at that
time there was much intercourse between the genteel
inhabitants of Fisherrow, and Musselburgh, and
Inveresk, and likewise Newbigging; and there were

166 REMINISCENCES OF

balls, or dances, or assemblies every fortnight, or
oftener, and also sometimes I believe every week ; and
there were card-parties, assemblies once a fortnight,
or oftener ; and the young people danced there also,
and others played at cards, and there were various
refreshments, such as tea and coffee, and butter and
bread, and I believe, but I am not sure, porter and
negus, and likewise small beer. And it was at one of
these assemblies that Mrs. Douglas called Mrs. Chal
mers very improper names. And Mrs. Chalmers
brought an action of defamation before the Commis
saries, and it came by advocation into this Court,
and your Lordships allowed a proof of the veritas
cvnvicii, and it lasted a very long time, and in
the end answered no good purpose even to the
defender herself, while it did much hurt to the
pursuer s character. I am therefore for REFUSING
such a proof in this case, and I think the petitioner
in this case and his Beetle have been slandered, and
the petition ought to be seen.

" LORD METHVEN. If I understand this a a a
interlocutor, it is not said that the a a a a
Egyptian Lice are Beetles, but that they may be, or
a a a a resemble Beetles. I am therefore
for sending the process to the Ordinary to ascertain
the fact, as I think it depends upon that whether
there be a a a a convicium or not. I think also
the petitioner should be ordained to a a a pro
duce his Beetle, and the defender an Egyptian Louse
or Pediculus, and if he has riot one, that he should
take a diligence a a a against havers to recover
Lice of various kinds ; and these may be remitted to
Dr. Monro, or Mr. Play fair, or to some other naturalist,
to report upon the subject.

"Agreed to."

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 167

This is clearly a Eeminiscence of a bygone state of
matters in the Court of Session. I think every reader
in our day, of the once famous Beetle case, will come
to the conclusion that, making all due allowance for
the humorous embellishment of the description, and
even for some exaggeration of caricature, it describes
what was once a real state of matters, which, he will
be sure, is real no more. The day of Judges of the
Balmuto-Hermand-Polkemmet class has passed away,
and is become a Scottish Eemmiscence. Having thus
brought before my readers some Eeminiscences of past
times from the Courts of Justice, let me advert to one
which belongs to, or was supposed to belong to, past
days of our Scottish universities. It is now a matter
of tradition. But an idea prevailed, whether correctly
or incorrectly, some eighty or a hundred years ago,
that at northern colleges degrees were regularly sold,
and those who could pay the price obtained them,
without reference to the merits or attainments of those
on whom they were conferred. We have heard of
divers jokes being passed on those who were supposed
to have received such academical honours, as well as
on those who had given them. It is said Dr Samuel
Johnson joined in this sarcastic humour. But his
prejudices both against Scotland and Scottish literature
were well known. Colman, in his amusing play of
the " Heir at Law," makes his Dr. Pangloss ludicrously
describe his receiving an LL.D. degree, on the grounds
of his own celebrity (as he had never seen the college),
and his paying the heads one pound fifteen shillings
and threepence three farthings as a handsome compli
ment to them on receiving his diploma. Colman
certainly had studied at a northern university. But
he might have gone into the idea in fun. However
this uiay be, an anecdote is current in the east of

168 REMINISCENCES OF

Scotland, which is illustrative of this real or supposed
state of matters, to which we may indeed apply the
Italian phrase that if " non vero " it is " ben trovato."
The story is this : An East Lothian minister, ac
companied by his man, who acted as betheral of his
parish, went over to a northern university to purchase
his degree, and on their return home he gave strict
charge to his man, that as now he was invested with
academical honour, he was to be sure to say, if any
one asked for the minister, " yes, the Doctor is at
home, or the Doctor is in the study, or the Doctor is
out, as the case might be." The man at once ac
quiesced in the propriety of this observance on account
of his master s newly-acquired dignity. But he quietly
added, " Ay, ay, minister ; an if ony ane speirs for
me, the servants maun be sure to say, Oh, the Doctor s
in the stable, or the Doctor s in the kitchen, or the
Doctor s in the garden or the field." " What do you
mean, Dauvid 7 exclaimed his astonished master ;
" what can you have to do with Doctor ? " Weel,
ye see, sir," said David, looking very knowing, " when
ye got your degree, I thought that as I had saved a
little money, I couldna lay it out better, as being-
bet heral of the church, than tak out a degree to
mysell." The story bears upon the practice, whether
a real or a supposed one ; and we may fairly say that
under such principals as Shairp, Tulloch, Campbell,
Barclay, who now adorn the Scottish universities, we
have a guarantee that such reports must continue to
be Reminiscence and traditional only.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 169

CHAPTER THE SIXTH.

ON HUMOUR PROCEEDING FROM SCOTTISH EXPRES
SIONS, INCLUDING SCOTTISH PROVERBS.

WE come next to Reminiscences which are chiefly con
nected with peculiarities of our Scottish LANGUAGE,
whether contained in words or in expressions. I am
quite aware that the difference between the anecdotes
belonging to this division and to the last division
termed " Wit and Humour " is very indistinct, and
must, in fact, in many cases, be quite arbitrary. Much
of what we enjoy most in Scottish stories is not on
account of wit properly so called, in the speaker, but
I should say rather from the odd and unexpected view
which is taken of some matter, or from the quaint and
original turn of the expression made use of, or from
the simple and matter-of-fact reference made to cir
cumstances which are unusual. I shall not, therefore,
be careful to preserve any strict line of separation
between this division and the next. Each is conversant
with what is amusing and with what is Scotch. What
we have now chiefly to illustrate by suitable anec
dotes is peculiarities of Scottish language its various
humorous turns and odd expressions.

We have now to consider stories where words and
expressions, which are peculiarly Scotch, impart the
humour and the point. Sometimes they are altogether
incapable of being rendered in other language. As,
for example, a parishioner in an Ayrshire village,
meeting his pastor, who had just returned after a con-

170 REMINISCENCES OP

siderable absence on account of ill health, congratu
lated him on his convalescence, and added, anticipatory
of the pleasure he would have in hearing him again,
" I m unco yuckie to hear a blaud o your gab. This
is an untranslatable form of saying how glad he should
be to hear his minister s voice again speaking to him
the words of salvation and of peace from the pulpit.

The two following are good examples of that Scot
tish style of expression which has its own character.
They are kindly sent by Sir Archibald Dunbar. The
first illustrates Scottish acute discernment. A certain
titled lady, well known around her country town for
her long-continued and extensive charities, which are
not withheld from those who least deserve them, had
a few years since, by the unexpected death of her
brother and of his only son, become possessor of a
fine estate. The news soon spread in the neighbour
hood, and a group of old women were overheard in
the streets of Elgin discussing the fact. One of them
said, "Ay, she may prosper, for she has baith the
prayers of the good and of the bad."

The second anecdote is a delightful illustration of
Mrs. Hamilton s Cottagers of Gleriburnie, and of the old-
fashioned Scottish pride in the midden. About twenty
years ago, under the apprehension of cholera, commit
tees of the most influential inhabitants of the county
of Moray were formed to enforce a more complete
cleansing of its towns and villages, and to induce the
cottagers to remove their dunghills or dung-pits from
too close a proximity to their doors or windows. One
determined woman, on the outskirts of the town of
Forres, no doubt with her future potato crop in view,
met the M.P. who headed one of these committees,
thus, l Noo, Major, ye may tak our lives, but ye ll no
tak our middens."

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 171

The truth is, many of the peculiarities which marked
Scottish society departed with the disuse of the Scot
tish dialect in the upper ranks. I recollect a familiar
example of this, which I may well term a Reminis
cence. At a party assembled in a county house, the
Earl of Elgin (grandfather of the present Earl) came
up to the tea-table, where Mrs. Forbes of Medwyn,
one of the finest examples of the past Scottish lady,
was sitting, evidently much engaged with her occupa
tion. " You are fond of your tea, Mrs. Forbes 1
The reply was quite a characteristic one, and a pure
reminiscence of such a place and such interlocutors ;
" Deed, my Lord, I wadna gie my tea for your yerl-
dom."

My aunt, the late Lady Burnett of Leys, was one of
the class of Scottish ladies I have referred to ; tho
roughly a good woman and a gentlewoman, but in
dialect quite Scottish. For example, being shocked
at the sharp Aberdonian pronunciation adopted by
her children, instead of the broader Forfarshire model
in which she had been brought up, she thus adverted
to their manner of calling the floor of the room where
they were playing : " What gars ye ca it * fleer ?
canna ye ca it flure ? But I needna speak ; Sir
Robert winna let me correc your language."

In respect of language, no doubt, a very important
change has taken place in Scotland during the last
seventy years, and which, I believe, influences, in a
greater degree than many persons would imagine,
the turn of thought and general modes and aspects of
society. In losing the old racy Scottish tongue, it
seems as if much originality of character was lost. I
suppose at one time the two countries of England and
Scotland were considered as almost speaking different
languages, and I suppose also, that from the period of

172 REMINISCENCES OF

the union of the crowns the language has been assimi
lating. We see the process of assimilation going on,
and ere long amongst persons of education and birth
very little difference will be perceptible. With regard
to that class, a great change has taken place in my
own time. I recollect old Scottish ladies and gentle
men who really spoke Scotch. It was not, mark me,
speaking English with an accent. No \ it was down
right Scotch. Every tone and every syllable was
Scotch. For example, I recollect old Miss Erskine of
Dun, a fine specimen of a real lady, and daughter of
an ancient Scottish house, so speaking. Many people
now would not understand her. She was always the
lady, notwithstanding her dialect, and to none could
the epithet vulgar be less appropriately applied. I
speak of more than forty years ago, and yet I recollect
her accost to me as well as if it were yesterday : " I
didna ken ye were i the toun." Taking word and
accents together, an address how totally unlike what
we now meet with in society. Some of the old Scot
tish words which we can remember are charming;
but how strange they would sound to the ears of the
present generation! Fancy that in walking from
church, and discussing the sermon, a lady of rank
should now express her opinion of it by the description
of its being, " but a hummelcorn discourse." Many
living persons can remember Angus old ladies who
would say to their nieces and daughters, " Whatna
hummeldoddie o a mutch hae ye gotten 1 meaning
a flat and low-crowned cap. In speaking of the dry-
ness of the soil on a road in Lanarkshire, a farmer
said, " It stoors in an oor." * How would this be as

* Stoor is, Scottice, dust in motion, and has no English syno
nym ; oor is hour. Sir Walter Scott is said to have advised au

A LOWLAND COTTAGE

From a water-colour drawing by

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A., K.SJf .

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 173

tersely translated into English? The late Duchess
of Gordon sat at dinner next an English gentleman
who was carving, and who made it a boast that he
was thoroughly master of the Scottish language. Her
Grace turned to him and said, " Kax me a spaul o
that bubbly jock."* The unfortunate man was com
pletely nonplussed. A Scottish gentleman was enter
taining at his house an English cousin who professed
himself as rather knowing in the language of the north
side of the Tweed. He asked him what he supposed
to be the meaning of the expression, " ripin the ribs."t
To which he readily answered, " Oh, it describes a
very fat man." I profess myself an out-and-out
Scotchman. I have strong national partialities call
them if you will national prejudices. I cherish a great
love of old Scottish language. Some of our pure
Scottish ballad poetry is unsurpassed in any language
for grace and pathos. How expressive, how beautiful
are its phrases ! You can t translate them. Take an
example of power in a Scottish expression, to describe
with tenderness and feeling what is in human life.
Take one of our most familiar phrases ; as thus : We
meet an old friend, we talk over bygone days, and
remember many who were dear to us both, once
bright, and young, and gay, of whom some remain,
honoured, prosperous, and happy of whom some are
under a cloud of misfortune or disgrace some are
broken in health and spirits some sunk into the
grave ; we recall old familiar places old companions,

artist, in painting a battle, not to deal with details, but to get
up a good stoor : then put in an arm and a sword here and there,
and leave all the rest to the imagination of the spectator.

* Reach me a leg of that turkey.

f Clearing ashes out of the bars of the grate.

174 REMINISCENCES OP

pleasures, and pursuits ; as Scotchmen our hearts are
touched with these remembrances of

AULD LANG SYNE.

Match me the phrase in English. You can t translate
it. The fitness and the beauty lie in the felicity of
the language. Like many happy expressions, it is not
transferable into another tongue, just like the "simplex
munditiis of Horace, which describes the natural
grace of female elegance, or the avrigifaw yeXafffta, of
^Eschylus, which describes the bright sparkling of the
ocean in the sun.

I think the power of Scottish dialect was happily
exemplified by the late Dr. Adam, rector of the High
School of Edinburgh, in his translation of the Horatian
expression " desipere in loco/ which he turned by the
Scotch phrase "Weel-timed daflm ;" a translation,
however, which no one but a Scotchman could appre
ciate. The following humorous Scottish translation
of an old Latin aphorism has been assigned to the late
Dr. Hill of St. Andrews : " Qui bene cepit dimidium
facti fecit" the witty Principal expressed in Scotch,
" Weel saipet (well soaped) is half shaven."

What mere English word could have expressed
a distinction so well in such a case as the following?
I heard once a lady in Edinburgh objecting to a
preacher that she did riot understand him. Another
lady, his great admirer, insinuated that probably he
was too "deep for her to follow. But her ready
answer was, " Na, na, he s no just deep, but he s
drumly" *

We have a testimony to the value of our Scottish
language from a late illustrious Chancellor of the

* Mentally confused. Muddy when applied to water.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 175

University of Edinburgh, the force and authority of
which no one will be disposed to question. Lord
Brougham, in speaking of improvements upon the
English language, makes these striking remarks :

" The pure and classical language of Scotland must
on no account be regarded as a provincial dialect, any
more than French was so regarded in the reign of
Henry V., cr Italian in that of the first Napoleon, or
Greek under the Eoman Empire. Nor is it to be in
any manner of way considered as a corruption of the
Saxon ; on the contrary, it contains much of the old and
genuine Saxon, with an intermixture from the Northern
nations, as Danes and Norse, and some, though a small
portion, from the Celtic. But in whatever way com
posed, or from whatever sources arising, it is a national
language, used by the whole people in their early
years, by many learned and gifted persons throughout
life, and in which are written the laws of the Scotch,
their judicial proceedings, their ancient history ; above
all, their poetry.

" There can be no doubt that the English language
would greatly gain by being enriched with a number
both of words and of phrases, or turns of expression,
now peculiar to the Scotch. It was by such a process
that the Greek became the first of tongues, as well
written as spoken.

"Would it not afford means of enriching and improv
ing the English language, if full and accurate glossaries
of improved Scotch words and phrases those success
fully used by the best writers, both in prose and
verse were given, with distinct explanation and
reference to authorities ? This has been done in
France and other countries, where some dictionaries
accompany the English, in some cases with Scotch

176 REMINISCENCES OF

synonyms, in others with varieties of expression."
Installation Address, p. 63.

The Scotch, as a people, from their more guarded
and composed method of speaking, are not so liable
to fall into that figure of speech for which our Irish
neighbours are celebrated usually called the Bull ;
some specimens, however, of that confusion of
thought, very like a bull, have been recorded of
Scottish interlocutors.

Of this the two following examples have been sent
to me by a kind friend.

It is related of a Scottish judge (who has supplied
several anecdotes of Scottish stories), that on going
to consult a dentist, who, as is usual, placed him in
the professional chair, and told his lordship that he
must let him put his fingers into his mouth, he
exclaimed, "Na! na! yell aiblins bite me. 11

A Scottish laird, singularly enough the grandson of
the learned judge mentioned above, when going his
round to canvass for the county, at the time when the
electors were chiefly confined to resident proprietors,
was asked at one house where he called if he would
not take some refreshment, hesitated, and said, "I
doubt it s treating, and may be ca d bribery"

But a still more amusing specimen of this figure of
speech was supplied by an honest Highlander, in the
days of sedan chairs. For the benefit of my young
readers I may describe the sedan chair as a comfort
able little carriage fixed to two poles, and carried by
two men, one behind and one before. A dowager
lady of quality had gone out to dinner in one of
these " leathern conveniences," and whilst she herself
enjoyed the hospitality of the mansion upstairs, her
bearers were profusely entertained downstairs, and

SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 177

partook of the abundant refreshment offered to them.
When my lady was to return, and had taken her
place in the sedan, her bearers raised the chair, but
she found no progress was made she felt herself
sway first to one side, then to the other, and soon
came bump upon the ground, when Donald behind
was heard shouting to Donald before (for the bearers
of sedans were always Highlanders), " Let her down,
Donald, man, for she s drunk"

I cannot help thinking that a change of national
language involves to some extent change of national
character. Numerous examples of great power in
Scottish Phraseology, to express the picturesque, the
feeling, the wise, and the humorous, might be taken
from the works of Robert Burns, Ferguson, or Allan
Eamsay, and which lose their charms altogether when
wiseottified. The speaker certainly seems to take a
strength and character from his words. We must
now look for specimens of this racy and expressive
tongue in the more retired parts of the country It
is no longer to be found in high places. It has dis
appeared from the social circles of our cities. I can
not, however, omit calling my reader s attention to a
charming specimen of Scottish prose and of Scottish
humour of our own day, contained in a little book,
entitled "Mystifications" by Clementina Stirling
Graham. The scenes described in that volume are
matters of pleasing reminiscence, and to some of us
who still remain " will recall that blithe and winning
face, sagacious and sincere, that kindly, cheery voice,
that rich and quiet laugh, that mingled sense and
sensibility, which met, and still to our happiness meet,
in her who, with all her gifts, never gratified her
consciousness of these powers so as to give pain to

178 REMINISCENCES Of

any human being."* These words, written more
than ten years ago, might have been penned yester
day; and those who, like myself, have had the
privilege of seeing the authoress presiding in her
beautiful mansion of Duntrune, will not soon forget
how happy, how gracious, and how young, old age
may be.

No fears to beat away no strife to heal ;
The past unsigned for, and the future sure."

In my early days the intercourse with the peasantry
of Forfarshire, Kincardineshire, and especially Deeside,
was most amusing not that the things said were so
much out of the common, as that the language in
which they were conveyed was picturesque, and odd,
and taking. And certainly it does appear to me that
as the language grows more uniform and conventional,
less marked and peculiar in its dialect and expressions,
so does the character of those who speak it become
so. I have a rich sample of Mid-Lothian Scotch
from a young friend in the country, who describes the
conversation of an old woman on the property as
amusing her by such specimens of genuine Scottish
raciness and humour. On one occasion, for instance,
the young lady had told her humble friend that she
was going to Ireland, and would have to undergo a
sea voyage. " Weel, noo, ye dinna mean that !
Ance I thocht to gang across to tither side o* the
Queensferry wi some ither folks to a fair, ye ken ;
but juist whene er I pat my fit in the boat, the boat
gae wallop, and my heart gae a loup, and I thocht
I d gang oot o my judgment athegither ; so says I,
Na, na, ye gang awa by yoursells to tither side, and

* Pief&ce to 4th edition of Mystifications, by Dr. Jolin Browp.

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 179

I ll bide here till sic times as ye come a\va back."
When we hear our Scottish language at home, and
spoken by our own countrymen, we are not so much
struck with any remarkable effects ; but it takes a far
more impressive character when heard amongst those
who speak a different tongue, and when encountered
in other lands. I recollect hearing the late Sir Bobert
Liston expressing this feeling in his own case. When
our ambassador at Constantinople, some Scotchmen
had been recommended to him for a purpose ol
private or of government business ; and Sir Eobert
was always ready to do a kind thing for a country
man. He found them out in a barber s shop,
waiting for being shaved in turn. One came in
rather late, and seeing he had scarcely room at the
end of the seat, addressed his countryman, " Neebour,
wad ye sit a bit wast ?" What strong associations
must have been called up, by hearing in an eastern
land such an expression in Scottish tones.

We may observe here, that marking the course any
person is to take, or the direction in which any
object is to be met with, by the points of the compass,
was a prevailing practice amongst the older Scottish
race. There could hardly be a more ludicrous appli
cation of the test, than was furnished by an honest
Highlander in describing the direction which hit
medicine would not take. Jean Gumming of Altyre,
who, in common with her three sisters, was a true
sceur de charite, was one day taking her rounds as
usual, visiting the poor sick, among whom there was
a certain Donald MacQueen, who had been some time
confined to his bed. Miss Gumming, after asking
him how he felt, arid finding that he was " no better."
of course inquired if he had taken the medicine which
she had sent him ; " Troth no, me lady," he replied.

180 REMINISCENCES OF

" But why not, Donald T she answered ; " it was very
wrong ; how can you expect to get better if you do
not help yourself with the remedies which heaven
provides for you ?" " Fright or Frang," said Donald,
"it wadna gang wast in spite o me." In all the
north country, it is always said, "I m ganging east
or west," etc., and it happened that Donald on his
sick bed was lying east and west, his feet pointing to
the latter direction, hence his reply to indicate that
he could not swallow the medicine !

We may fancy the amusement of the officers of a
regiment in the West Indies, at the innocent remark
of a young lad who had just joined from Scotland.
On meeting at dinner, his salutation to his Colonel
was, "Anither het day, Cornal," as if "het days
were in Barbadoes few and far between, as they were
in his dear old stormy cloudy Scotland. Or take the
case of a Scottish saying, which indicated at once the
dialect and the economical habits of a hardy and
struggling race. A young Scotchman, who had been
some time in London, met his friend recently come up
from the north to pursue his fortune in the great
metropolis. On discussing matters connected with
their new life in London, the more experienced visitor
remarked upon the greater expenses there than in the
retired Scottish town which they had left. "Ay,"
said the other, sighing over the reflection, " when ye
get cheenge for a saxpence here, it s soon slippit awa ."
I recollect a story of my father s which illustrates the
force of dialect, although confined to the inflections of
a single monosyllable. On riding home one evening,
he passed a cottage or small farm-house, where there
was a considerable assemblage of people, and an
evident incipient merry-making for some festive
occasion. On asking one of the lasses standing about

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 181

what it was, she answered, " Ou, it s just a wedding
o Jock Thamson and Janet Frazer." To the question,
" Is the bride rich?" there was a plain quiet "Na."
" Is she young]" a more emphatic and decided " Naa!
but to the query, "Is she bonny?" a most elaborate
and prolonged shout of " Naaa !

It has been said that the Scottish dialect is pecu
liarly powerful in its use of wwels, and the following
dialogue between a shopman and a customer has been
given as a specimen. The conversation relates to a
plaid hanging at the shop door

Cus. (inquiring the material), Oo 1 (wool f)

Shop. Ay, oo (yes, of wool).

Cus. A oo ? (all wool ?)

Shop. Ay, a oo (yes, all wool).

Cus. A ae oo 1 (all same wool 1)

Shop. Ay a ae oo (yes, all same wool).

An amusing anecdote of a pithy and jocular reply,
comprised in one syllable, is recorded of an eccentric
legal Scottish functionary of the last century. An
advocate, of whose professional qualifications he had
formed rather a low estimate, was complaining to him
of being passed over in a recent appointment to the
bench, and expressed his sense of the injustice with
which he had been treated. He was very indignant
at his claims and merit being overlooked in their not
choosing him for the new judge, adding with much
acrimony, " And I can tell you they might have got a
waur. To which, as if merely coming over the

complainant s language again, the answer was a grave
" Whaur 1 " t The merit of the impertinence was, that
it sounded as if it were merely a repetition of his
friend s last words, waur and whaur. It was as if "echo
answered whaur T As I have said, the oddity and
* Worse. t Where.

T

182 REMINISCENCES OF

acuteness of the speaker arose from the manner of ex
pression, not from the thing said. In fact, the same
thing said in plain English would be mere common
place. I recollect being much amused with a dialogue
between a late excellent relative of mine and his
man, the chief manager of a farm which he had just
taken, and, I suspect in a good measure manager of the
farmer as well. At any rate he committed to this
acute overseer all the practical details ; and on the
present occasion had sent him to market to dispose of
a cow and a pony, a simple enough transaction, and
with a simple enough result. The cow was brought
back, the pony was sold. But the man s description
of it forms the point. " Well, John, have you sold
the cow ? " Na, but I grippit a chiel for the powny ! "
" Grippit was here most expressive. Indeed, this
word has a significance hardly expressed by any
English one, and used to be very prevalent to indicate
keen and forcible tenacity of possession ; thus a
character noted for avarice or sharp looking to self-
interest was termed " grippy." In mechanical contriv
ances, anything taking a close adherence was called
having a gude grip. I recollect in boyish days, when
on Deeside taking wasp-nests, an old man looking on
was sharply stung by one, and his description was,
" Ane o 7 them s grippit me fine." The following had
an indescribable piquancy, which arose from the Scot
ticism of the terms and the manners. Many years ago,
when accompanying a shooting party on the Gram
pians, not with a gun like the rest, but with a bota
nical box for collecting specimens of mountain plants,
the party had got very hot, and very tired, and very
cross. On the way home, whilst sitting down to rest,
a gamekeeper sort of attendant, and a character in his
way, said, " I wish I was in the dining-room of Fasque."

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 183

Our good cousin the Kev. Mr. Wilson, minister of
Farnel, who liked well a quiet shot at the grouse, rather
testily replied. " Ye d soon be Jrickit out o that ; to
which the other replied, not at all daunted, "Weel,
weel, then I wadna be far frae the kitchen." A quaint
and characteristic reply I recollect from another farm-
servant. My eldest brother had just been con
structing a piece of machinery which was driven by
a stream of water running through the home farm
yard. There was a thrashing machine, a winnowing
machine, and circular saw for splitting trees into pal
ing, and other contrivances of a like kind. Observing
an old man, who had long been about the place, look
ing very attentively at all that was going on, he
said, " Wonderful things people can do now, Robby !
" Ay," said Robby ; " indeed, Sir Alexander, I m think
ing gin Solomon were alive noo he d be thocht nae-
thing o ! "

The two following derive their force entirely from
the Scottish turn of the expressions. Translated into
English, they would lose all point at least, much of
the point which they now have :

At the sale of an antiquarian gentleman s effects in
Roxburghshire, which Sir Walter Scott happened to
attend, there was one little article, a Roman patina,
which occasioned a good deal of competition, and was
eventually knocked down to the distinguished baronet
at a high price. Sir Walter was excessively amused
during the time of bidding to observe how much it
excited the astonishment of an old woman, who had
evidently come there to buy culinary utensils on a
more economical principle. "If the parritch-pan,"
she at last burst out " If the parritch-pan gangs at
that, what will the kail-pat gang for ? "

An ancestor of Sir Walter Scott joined the Stuart

184 REMINISCENCES OF

Prince in 1715, and, with his brother, was engaged
in that unfortunate adventure which ended in a skir
mish and captivity at Preston. It was the fashion of
those times for all persons of the rank of gentlemen
to wear scarlet waistcoats. A ball had struck one of
the brothers, and carried part of this dress into his
body, and in this condition he was taken prisoner with
a number of his companions, and stripped, as was too
often the practice in those remorseless wars. Thus
wounded, and nearly naked, having only a shirt on,
and an old sack about him, the ancestor of the great
poet was sitting, along with his brother and a hun
dred and fifty unfortunate gentlemen, in a granary at
Preston. The wounded man fell sick, as the story
goes, and vomited the scarlet cloth which the ball
had passed into the wound. " man, Wattie," cried
his brother, " if you have a wardrobe in your wame, 1
wish you would vomit me a pair o breeks." But,
after all, it was amongst the old ladies that the great
abundance of choice pungent Scottish expressions, such
as you certainly do not meet with in these days, was
to be sought. In their position of society, education
either in England, or education conducted by English
teachers, has so spread in Scottish families, and inter
course with the south has been so increased, that all
these colloquial peculiarities are fast disappearing.
Some of the ladies of this older school felt some in
dignation at the change which they lived to see was
fast going on. One of them being asked if an indi
vidual whom she had lately seen was " Scotch," an
swered with some bitterness, " I canna say ; ye a
speak sae genteel now that I dinna ken wha s Scotch."
It was not uncommon to find, in young persons,
examples, some years ago, of an attachment to the
Scottish dialect, like that of the old lady. In the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 185

life of P. Tytler, lately published, there is an account
of his first return to Scotland from a school in Eng
land. His family were delighted with his appearance,
manners, and general improvement ; but a sister did
not share this pleasure unmixed, for being found in
tears, and the remark being made, " Is he not charm
ing 1 her reply was, in great distress. " Oh yes, but
he speaks English !

The class of old Scottish ladies, marked by so many
peculiarities, generally lived in provincial towns, and
never dreamt of going from home. Many had never
been in London, or had even crossed the Tweed.
But as Lord Cockburn s experience goes back further
than mine, and as he had special opportunities of
being acquainted with their characteristic peculiarities
I will quote his animated description at page 57 of his
Memorials. " There was a singular race of old Scotch
ladies. They were a delightful set strong-headed,
warm-hearted, and high-spirited merry even in soli
tude ; very resolute ; indifferent about the modes and
habits of the modern world, and adhering to their
own ways, so as to stand out like primitive rocks
above ordinary society. Their prominent qualities of
sense, humour, affection, and spirit, were embodied in
curious outsides, for they all dressed, and spoke,
and did exactly as they chose. Their language, like
their habits, entirely Scotch, but without any other
vulgarity than what perfect naturalness is sometimes
mistaken for."*

This is a masterly description of a race now all but
passed away. I have known several of them in my
early days ; and amongst them we must look for the
racy Scottish peculiarities of diction and of expression
which, with them, are also nearly gone. Lord

Lord Cockburzi s Memorials, p. 68.

18t> REMINISCENCES OF

Cockburn has given some illustrations of these pecu
liarities ; and I have heard others, especially connected
with Jacobite partialities, of which I say nothing, as
they are in fact rather strong for such a work as this.
One, however, I heard lately as coming from a Forfar-
shire old lady of this class, which bears upon the point
of " resolute " determination referred to in the learned
judge s description. She had been very positive in
the disclaiming of some assertion which had been
attributed to her, and on being asked if she had not
written it, or something very like it, she replied, " Na,
na; I never write onything of consequence I may
deny what I say, but I canna deny what I write."

Mrs. Baird of Newbyth, the mother of our dis
tinguished countryman the late General Sir David
Baird, was always spoken of as a grand specimen of
the class. When the news arrived f.om India of the
gallant but unfortunate action of 84 against Hyder
Ali, in which her son, then Captain Baird, was engaged,
it was stated that he and other officers had been taken
prisoners and chained together two and two. The
friends were careful in breaking such sad intelligence
to the mother of Captain Baird. When, however,
she was made fully to understand the position of her
son and his gallant companions, disdaining all weak
and useless expressions of her own grief, and knowing
well the restless and athletic habits of her son, all
she said was, " Lord pity the chiel that s chained to
our Davie !

It is only due to the memory of " our Davie," how
ever, to add that the " chiel " to whom he was chained,
had, in writing home to his friends, borne the highest
testimony to the kindness and consideration of
Captain Baird, which he exercised towards him in
this uncomfortable alliance. General Baird was a first-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 187

rate officer, and a fine noble character. He left home
for active service so soon (before he was fifteen) that
his education had necessarily been very imperfect.
This deficiency he had always himself through life
deeply regretted. A military friend, and great
admirer of Sir David, used jocularly to tell a story of
him that having finished the despatch which must
carry home the news of his great action, the capture
of Seringapatam, as he was preparing to sign it in
great form, he deliberately took off his coat. "Why
do you take off your coat 1 ? said his friend. To
which the General quietly answered, " Oh, it s to turn
the muckle D in Dauvid."

The ladies of this class had certainly no affectation
in speaking of those who came under their displeasure,
even when life and death were concerned. I had an
anecdote illustrative of this characteristic in a well-
known old lady of the last century, Miss Johnstone
of Westerhall. She had been extremely indignant
that, on the death of her brother, his widow had
proposed to sell off the old furniture of Westerhall.
She was attached to it from old associations, and
considered the parting with it little short of sacrilege.
The event was, however, arrested by death, or, as she
describes the result, " The furniture was a to be roupit,
and we couldna persuade her. But before the sale
cam on, in God s gude providence she just clinldt aff
hersell." Of this same Miss Johnstone another
characteristic anecdote has been preserved in the
family. She came into possession of Hawkhill, near
Edinburgh, and died there. When dying, a tremendous
storm of rain and thunder came on, so as to shake
the house. In her own quaint eccentric spirit, and
with no thought of profane or light allusions, she
looked up, and, listening to the storm, quietly

188 REMINISCENCES OF

remarked, in reference to her departure, " Ech, sirs !
what a nicht for me to be fleein through the air ! "
Of fine acute sarcasm I recollect hearing an expres
sion from a modern sample of the class, a charming
character, but only to a certain degree answering to
the description of the older generation. Conversation
turning, and with just indignation, on the infidel
remarks which had been heard from a certain indi
vidual, and on his irreverent treatment of Holy

i

Scripture, all that this lady condescended to say of
him was, " Gey impudent of him, I think."

A recorded reply of old Lady Perth to a French
gentleman is quaint and characteristic. They had
been discussing the respective merits of the cookery
of each country. The Frenchman offended the old
Scottish peeress by some disparaging remarks on
Scottish dishes, and by highly preferring those of
France. All she would answer was, " Weel, weel,
some fowk like parritch and some like paddocks." *

Of this older race the ladies who were aged, fifty
years ago no description could be given in bolder or
stronger outline than that which I have quoted from
Lord Cockburn. I would pretend to nothing more
than giving a few further illustrative details from my
own experience, which may assist the representation
by adding some practical realities to the picture.

Several of them whom I knew in my early days cer
tainly answered to many of the terms made use of by
his lordship. Their language and expressions had a
zest and peculiarity which are gone, and which would
not, I fear, do for modern life and times.

I have spoken of Miss Erskine of Dun, which is
near Montrose. She, however, resided in Edinburgh.
But those I knew best had lived many years in the

* Frogs.

THE MUTCH
From a water-colour drawing by

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.W.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 189

then retired society of a country town. Some were
my own relations ; and in boyish days (for they had
not generally much patience with boys) were looked
up to with considerable awe as very formidable
personages. Their characters and modes of expression
in many respects remarkably corresponded with Lord
Cockburn s idea of the race. There was a dry
Scottish humour which we fear their successors do
not inherit. One of these Montrose ladies, Miss Nelly
Fullerton, had many anecdotes told of her quaint
ways and sayings. Walking in the street one day,
slippery from frost, she fairly fell down. A young
officer with much politeness came forward and picked
her up, earnestly asking her at the same time. " I hope
ma am, you are no worse?" to which she very drily
answered, looking at him very steadily. " Deed, sir,
I m just as little the better." A few days after, she
met her military supporter in a shop. He was a fine
tall youth, upwards of six feet high, and by way of
making some grateful recognition for his late polite
attention, she eyed him from head to foot, and as she
was of the opinion of the old Scotch lady who de
clared she " aye liked bonny fowk," she viewed her
young friend with much satisfaction, but which she
only evinced by the quaint remark, " Od, ye re a lang
lad ; God gie ye grace."

I had from a relative or intimate friend of two
sisters of this school, well known about Glasgow, an
odd account of what it seems, from their own statement,
had passed between them at a country house, where
they had attended a sale by auction. As the business
of the day went on, a dozen of silver spoons had to
be disposed of; and before they were put up for
competition, they were, according to the usual custom,
handed round for inspection to the company. When

190 REMINISCENCES OF

returned into the hands of the auctioneer, he found
only eleven. In great wrath, he ordered the door to
be shut, that no one might escape, and insisted on
every one present being searched to discover the
delinquent. One of the sisters, in consternation,
whispered to the other, " Esther, ye hae nae gotten
the spune 1 to which she replied, " Na ; but I hae
gotten Mrs. Siddons in my pocket." She had been
struck by a miniature of the great actress, and had
quietly pocketed it. The cautious reply of the sister
was, " Then just drop her, Esther." One of the sister
hood, a connection of my own, had much of this dry
Scottish humour. She had a lodging in the house of
a respectable grocer ; and on her niece most innocently
asking, " if she was not very fond of her landlord,"
in reference to the excellence of her apartments and
the attention he paid to her comfort, she demurred
to the question on the score of its propriety, by reply
ing, "Fond of my landlord! that would be an
unaccountable fondness."

An amusing account was given of an interview and
conversation between this lady and the provost of
Montrose. She had demurred at paying some muni
cipal tax with which she had been charged, and the
provost, anxious to prevent her getting into difficulty
on the subject, kindly called to convince her of the
fairness of the claim, and the necessity of paying it.
In his explanation he referred back to his own bachelor
days when a similar payment had been required from
him. " I assure you, ma am," he said, " when I was
in your situation I was called upon in a similar way
for this tax;" to which she replied, in quiet scorn,
" In my situation ! an whan were ye in my situation *?
an auld maid leevin in a flat wi an ae lass."
But the complaints of such imposts were urged in a

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 191

very humorous manner by another Montrose old lady,
Miss Helen Carnegy of Craigo ; she hated paying
taxes, and always pretended to misunderstand their
nature. One day, receiving a notice of such payment
signed by the provost (Thorn), she broke out : " I
dinna understand thae taxes ; but I just think that
when Mrs. Thorn wants a new gown, the provost sends
me a tax paper ! The good lady s naive rejection
of the idea that she could be in any sense " fond of
her landlord," already referred to, was somewhat in
unison with a similar feeling recorded to have been ex
pressed by the late Mr. Wilson, the celebrated Scottish
vocalist. He was taking lessons from the late Mr.
Finlay Dun, one of the most accomplished musicians
of the day. Mr. Dun had just returned from Italy,
and, impressed with admiration of the deep pathos,
sentiment, and passion of the Italian school of music,
he regretted to find in his pupil so lovely a voice and
so much talent losing much of its effect for want of
feeling. Anxious, therefore, to throw into his friend s
performance something of the Italian expression, he
proposed to bring it out by this suggestion : " Now,
Mr. Wilson, just suppose that I am your lady love,
and sing to me as you could imagine yourself doing
were you desirous of impressing her with your earnest
ness and affection." Poor Mr. Wilson hesitated,
blushed, and, under doubt how far such a personifi
cation even in his case was allowable, at last remon
strated, " Ay, Mr. Dun, ye forget I m a married man !"
A case has been reported of a country girl, how
ever, who thought it possible there might be an
excess in such scrupulous regard to appearances. On
her marriage-day, the youth to whom she was about
to be united said to her in a triumphant ton, " Weel,
Jenny, haven t I been unco ceevilf alluding to the

192 REMINISCENCES OF

fact that during their whole courtship he had never
even given her a kiss. Her quiet reply was, " Ou, ay,
man ; senselessly ceevil."

One of these Montrose ladies and a sister lived
together ; and in a very quiet way they were in the
habit of giving little dinner-parties, to which occasion
ally they invited their gentlemen friends. However,
gentlemen were not always to be had ; and on one
occasion, when such a difficulty had occurred, they
were talking over the matter with a friend. The
one lady seemed to consider such an acquisition, almost
essential to the having a dinner at all. The other,
who did not see the same necessity, quietly adding,
<; But, indeed, oor Jean thinks a man perfect salvation. "

Very much of the same class of remarks was the
following sly observation of one of the sisterhood.
At a well-known tea-table in a country town in Forfar-
shire, the events of the day, grave and gay, had been
fully discussed by the assembled sisterhood. The
occasion was improved by an elderly spinster, as
follows : " Weel, weel, sirs, these are solemn events
death and marriage but ye ken they re what we
must a* come till." " Eh, Miss Jeany ! ye have been
lang spared," was the arch reply of a younger member.
There was occasionally a pawky semi-sarcastic
humour in the replies of some of the ladies we speak
of, that was quite irresistible, of which I have from a
friend a good illustration in an anecdote well known
at the time. A late well-known member of the
Scottish bar, when a youth, was somewhat of a dandy,
and, I suppose, somewhat short and sharp in his
temper. He was going to pay a visit in the country,
and was making a great fuss about his preparing and
putting up his habiliments. His old aunt was much
annoyed at all this bustle, and stopped him by the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 133

somewhat contemptuous question, " Whar s this you re
gaun, Robby, that ye mak sic a grand wark about yer
claes?" The young man lost temper, and pettishly
replied, " I m going to the devil." " Deed, Eobby, then,"
was the quiet answer, " ye needna be sae nice, he ll
juist tak ye as ye arc.

Ladies of this class had a quiet mode of expressing
themselves on very serious subjects, which indicated
their quaint power of description, rather than their
want of feeling. Thus, of two sisters, when one had
died, it was supposed that she had injured herself by
an imprudent indulgence in strawberries and cream,
of which she had partaken in the country. A friend
was condoling with the surviving sister, and, express
ing her sorrow, had added, " I had hoped your sister
was to live many years." To which her relative
replied " Leeve ! hoo could she leeve 1 she juist
felled * hersell at Craigo wi straeberries and ream !
However, she spoke with the same degree of coolness
of her own decease. For when her friend was com
forting her in illness, by the hopes that she would,
after winter, enjoy again some of their country spring
butter, she exclaimed, without the slightest idea of
being guilty of any irreverence, " Spring butter ! by
that time I shall be buttering in heaven." When
really dying, and when friends were round her bed
she overheard one of them saying to another, " Her
face has lost its colour ; it grows like a sheet of paper."
The quaint spirit even then broke out in the remark,
" Then I m sure it maun be broon paper." A very
strong-minded lady of the class, and, in Lord Cock-
burn s language, " indifferent about modes and
habits,"+ had been asking from a lady the character
of a cook she was about to hire. The lady naturally
* Killed. t Miss Jenny Methven.

104 REMINISCENCES OF

entered a little upon her moral qualifications, and
described her as a very decent woman ; the response
to which was, " Oh, d n her decency ; can she make
good collops ? " -an answer which would somewhat
surprise a lady of Moray Place now, if engaged in a
similar discussion of a servant s merits.

The Rev. Dr. Cook of Haddington supplies an
excellent anecdote, of which the point is in the dry
Scottish answer: An old lady of the Doctor s
acquaintance, about seventy, sent for her medical
attendant to consult him about a sore throat, which
had troubled her for some days. Her medical man
was ushered into her room, decked out with the now
prevailing fashion, a mustache and flowing beard.
The old lady, after exchanging the usual civilities,
described her complaint to the worthy son of
^Esculapius. "Well," says he, "do you know, Mrs.
Macfarlane, I used to be much affected with the
very same kind of sore throat, but ever since I
allowed my mustache and beard to grow, I have
never been troubled with it." " Aweel, aweel," said
the old lady drily, "that may be the case, but ye
maun prescribe some other method for me to get quit
o the sair throat ; for ye ken, doctor, I canna adopt
that cure."

Then how quaint the answer of old Mrs. Robison,
widow of the eminent professor of natural philosophy,
and who entertained an inveterate dislike to every
thing which she thought savoured of cant. She had
invited a gentleman to dinner on a particular day,
and he had accepted, with the reservation, " If I am
spared." "Weel, weel," said Mrs. Robison; "if ye re
deed, I ll no expect ye."

I had two grand-aunts living at Montrose at that
time two Miss Ramsays of Balmain. They were

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 195

somewhat of the severe class Nelly especially, who
was an object rather of awe than of affection. She
certainly had a very awful appearance to young
apprehensions, from the strangeness of her headgear.
Ladies of this class Lord Cockburn has spoken of as
" having their peculiarities embodied in curious out-
sides, as they dressed, spoke, and did exactly as
they chose." As a sample of such " curious outside
and dress," my good aunt used to go about the house
with an immense pillow strapped over her head
warm but formidable. These two maiden grand-aunts
had invited their niece to pay them a visit an aunt
of mine, who had made what they considered a very
imprudent marriage, and where considerable pecuniary
privations were too likely to accompany the step she
had taken. The poor niece had to bear many a
taunt directed against her improvident union, as for
example : One day she had asked for a piece of tape
for some work she had in hand as a young wife
expecting to become a mother. Miss Nelly said,
with much point, "Ay, Kitty, ye shall get a bit
knittin (i.e. a bit of tape). We hae a thing; we re
no married." It was this lady who, by an inadvertent
use of a term, showed what was passing in her mind
in a way which must have been quite transparent to
the bystanders. At a supper which she was giving,
she was evidently much annoyed at the reckless and
clumsy manner in which a gentleman was operating
upon a ham which was at table, cutting out great
lumps, and distributing them to the company. The lady
said, in a very querulous tone, " Oh, Mr. Divot, will
you help Mrs. So and So ?" divot being a provincial
term for a turf or sod cut out of the green, and the
resemblance of it to the pieces carved out by the
gentleman evidently having taken possession of her

196 REMINISCENCES OF

imagination. Mrs. Helen Carnegy of Craigo, already
mentioned, was a thorough specimen of this class.
She lived in Montrose, and died in 1818, at the
advanced age of ninety-one. She was a Jacobite, and
very aristocratic in her feelings, but on social terms with
many burghers of Montrose, or Munross as it was
called. She preserved a very nice distinction of
addresses, suited to the different individuals in the
town, according as she placed them in the scale of
her consideration. She liked a party at quadrille,
and sent out her servant every morning to invite the
ladies required to make up the game, and her direc
tions were graduated thus : " Nelly, ye ll gang to
Lady Carnegy s, and mak my compliments, and ask
the honour of her ladyship s company, and that of the
Miss Carnegys, to tea this evening ; and if they canna
come, ging to the Miss Mudies, and ask the pleasure
of their company ; and if they canna come, ye may
ging to Miss Hunter and ask the favour of her com
pany ; and if she canna come, ging to Lucky Spark
and bid her come."

A great confusion existed in the minds of some of
those old-fashioned ladies on the subject of modern
inventions and usages. A Montrose old lady pro
tested against the use of steam-vessels, as counteracting
the decrees of Providence in going against wind and
tide, vehemently asserting, " I would hae naething to
say to thae im-pious vessels." Another lady was
equally discomposed by the introduction of gas,
asking, with much earnestness, " What s to become o
the puir whales?" deeming their interests materially
affected by this superseding of their oil. A lady of
this class, who had long lived in country retirement,
coming up to Edinburgh, was, after an absence of
many years, going along Princes Street about the

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 197

time when the water-carts were introduced for pre
venting the dust, and seeing one of them passing,
rushed from off the pavement to the driver, saying,
" Man, ye re skailiri a the water." Such being her
ignorance of modern improvements.

There used to be a point and originality in expres
sions made use of in regard to common matters,
unlike what one finds now ; for example : A country
minister had been invited, with his wife, to dine and
spend the night at the house of one of his lairds.
Their host was very proud of one of the very large
beds which had just come into fashion, and in the
morning asked the lady how she had slept in it.
" Oh, vary well, sir ; but, indeed, I thought I d lost
the minister athegither."

Nothing, however, in my opinion, comes up to the
originality and point of the Montrose old maiden
lady s most " exquisite reason " for not subscribing to
the proposed fund for organising a volunteer corps
in that town. It was at the time of expected
invasion at the beginning of the century, and some
of the town magistrates called upon her and solicited
her subscription to raise men for the service of the
king "Indeed," she answered right sturdily, "I ll
dae nae sic thing ; I ne er could raise a man for mysell,
and I m no ga in to raise men for King George."

Some curious stories are told of ladies of this
class, as connected with the novelties and excitement
of railway travelling. Missing their luggage, or find
ing that something has gone wrong about it, often
causes very terrible distress, and might be amusing,
were it not to the sufferer so severe a calamity. I
was much entertained with the earnestness of this
feeling, and the expression of it from an old Scotch
lady whose box was not forthcoming at the station

u

198 REMINISCENCES OF

where she was to stop. When urged to be patient,
her indignant exclamation was "I can bear ony
pairtings that may be ca ed for in God s providence ;
but I canna stari pairtiri frae my claes"

The following anecdote from the west exhibits a
curious confusion of ideas arising from the old-
fashioned prejudice against Frenchmen and their
language, which existed in the last generation.
During the long French war, two old ladies in
Stranraer were going to the kirk ; the one said to
the other, "Was it no a wonderfu thing that the
Breetish were aye victorious ower the French in
battle?" " Not a bit," said the other old lady ; "dinna
ye ken the Breetish aye say their prayers before ga in
into battle?" The other replied, "But canna the
French say their prayers as weelT The reply was
most characteristic, " Hoot ! jabbering bodies, wha
could understari them?"

Some of these ladies, as belonging to the old county
families, had very high notions of their own impor
tance, and a great idea of their difference from the
burgher families of the town. I am assured of the
truth of the following naive specimen of such family
pride : One of the olden maiden ladies of Montrose
called one day on some ladies of one of the families
in the neighbourhood, and on being questioned as to

the news of the town, said, " News ! oh, Bailie s

eldest son is to be married." " And pray," was the

reply, " and pray, Miss , an fa ever heard o a

merchant i the toon o Montrose ha in an eldest son ?
The good lady thought that any privilege of primo
geniture belonged only to the family of laird.

It is a dangerous experiment to try passing off
ungrounded claims upon characters of this description
Many a clever sarcastic reply is on record frou/

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 199

Scottish ladies, directed against those who wished to
impose upon them some false sentiment. I often
think of the remark of the outspoken ancient lady,
who, when told by her pastor, of whose disinterested
ness in his charge she was not quite sure, that he
"had a call from his Lord and Master to go," replied
" Deed, sir, the Lord micht hae ca ed and ca ed to
ye lang eneuch to Ouchtertoul (a very small stipend),
and ye d ne er hae letten on that ye heard him."

At the beginning of this century, when the fear of
invasion was rife, it was proposed to mount a small
battery at the water-mouth by subscription, and Miss
Carnegy was waited on by a deputation from the
town-council. One of them having addressed her on
the subject, she heard him with some impatience, and
when he had finished, she said, "Are ye ane o the
toon-cooncil. He replied, "I have that honour,
ma am." To which she rejoined, " Ye may hae that
profit, but honour ye hae nane ; and then to the
point, she added, " But I ve been tell t that ae day s
wark o twa or three men wad mount the cannon,
and that it may be a dune for twenty shillings ; now
there s twa punds to ye." The councillor pocketed
the money and withdrew. On one occasion, as she
sat in an easy chair, having assumed the habits and
privileges of age, Mr. Mollison, the minister of the
Established Kirk, called on her to solicit for some
charity. She did not like being asked for money,
and, from her Jacobite principles, she certainly did
not respect the Presbyterian Kirk. When he came
in she made an inclination of the head, and he said,
"Don t get up, madam." She replied, "Get up! I
wadna rise out o my chair for King George himsell,
let abee a whig minister."

This was plain speaking enough, but there is

200 REMINISCENCES OF

something quite inimitable in the matter-of-factness
of the following story of an advertisement, which
may tend to illustrate the Antiquary s remark to Mrs.
Macleuchar, anent the starting of a coach or fly to
Queensferry. A carrier, who plied his trade between
Aberdeen and a village considerably to the north of
it, was asked by one of the villagers, "Fan are ye
gaen to the toon ? " (Aberdeen). To which he replied,

" I ll be in on Monandav, God willin and weather

/

permittin , an on Tiseday, fither or no.

It is a curious subject the various shades of Scottish
dialect and Scottish expressions, commonly called
Scotticisms. We mark in the course of fifty years
how some disappear altogether ; others become more
and more rare, and of all of them we may say, I
think, that the specimens of them are to be looked
for every year more in the descending classes of
society. What was common amongst peers, judges,
lairds, advocates, and people of family and education,
is now found in humbler ranks of life. There are
few persons perhaps who have been born in Scotland,
and who have lived long in Scotland, whom a nice
southern ear might not detect as from the north.
But far beyond such nicer shades of distinction, there
are strong and characteristic marks of a Caledonian
origin, with which some of us have had practical
acquaintance. I possess two curious, and now, I
believe, rather scarce, publications on the prevalent
Scotticisms of our speaking and writing. One is
entitled "Scotticisms designed to Correct Impro
prieties of Speech and Writing," by Dr. Beattie of
Aberdeen. The other is to the same purpose, and is
entitled, " Observations on the Scottish Dialect," by
the late Right Honourable Sir John Sinclair. Ex
pressions which were common in their days, and used

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 201

by persons of all ranks, are not known by the rising
generation. Many amusing equivoques used to be
current, arising from Scotch people in England ap
plying terms and expressions in a manner rather sur
prising to southern ears. Thus, the story was told
of a public character long associated with the affairs
of Scotland, Henry Dun das (first Viscount Melville),
applying to Mr. Pitt for the loan of a horse " the length
of Highgate ; " a very common expression in Scotland,
at that time, to signify the distance to which the ride
was to extend. Mr. Pitt good-humouredly wrote
back to say that he was afraid he had not a horse in
his possession quite so long as Mr. Dundas had men
tioned, but he had sent the longest he had. There
is a well-known case of mystification, caused to
English ears by the use of Scottish terms, which took
place in the House of Peers during the examination
of the Magistrates of Edinburgh touching the parti
culars of the Porteous Mob in 1736. The Duke of
Newcastle having asked the Provost with what kind
of shot the town-guard commanded by Porteous had
loaded their muskets, received the unexpected reply,
" Ou, juist sic as ane shutes dukes and sic like fules
wi ." The answer was considered as a contempt of the
House of Lords, and the poor provost would have
suffered from misconception of his patois, had not the
Duke of Argyle (who must have been exceedingly
amused) explained that the worthy magistrate s ex
pression, when rendered into English, did not apply
to Peers and Idiots but to ducks and water-fowl. The
circumstance is referred to by Sir W. Scott in the
notes to the Heart of Mid-Lothian. A similar
equivoque upon the double meaning of "Deuk in
Scottish language supplied material for a poor woman s
honest compliment to a benevolent Scottish noble-

202 REMINISCENCES OF

man. John, Duke of Koxburghe, was one day out
riding, and at the gate of Floors he was accosted by
an importunate old beggar woman. He gave her
half-a-crown, which pleased her so much that she
exclaimed, " Weel s me on your guse face, for Duke s
ower little tae ca ye."

A very curious list may be made of words used in
Scotland in a sense which would be quite unintelligible
to Southerns. Such applications are going out, but
I remember them well amongst the old-fashioned
people of Angus and the Mearns quite common in
conversation. I subjoin some specimens :

Bestial signifies amongst Scottish agriculturists
cattle generally, the whole aggregate number of beasts
on the farm. Again, a Scottish farmer, when he
speaks of his " hogs or of buying " hogs," has no
reference to swine, but means young sheep, i.e. sheep
before they have lost their first fleece.

Discreet does not express the idea of a prudent or
cautious person so much as of one who is not rude,
but considerate of the opinions of others. Such
application of the word is said to have been made by
Dr. Chalmers to the late Henry, Bishop of Exeter.
These two eminent individuals had met for the first
time at the hospitable house of the late Mr. Murray,
the publisher. On the introduction taking place,
the Bishop expressed himself so warmly as to the
pleasure it gave him to meet so distinguished and
excellent a man as Dr. Chalmers, that the Doctor,
somewhat surprised at such an unexpected ebullition
from an English Church dignitary, could only reply,
" Oh, I am sure your lordship is very f discreet. 7

Enterteening has in olden Scottish usage the sense
not of amusing, but interesting. I remember an

* "Civil," "obliging." Jamieson.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 203

honest Dandle Dinmont on a visit to Bath. A lady,
who had taken a kind charge of him, accompanied
him to the theatre, and in the most thrilling scene
of Kemble s acting, what is usually termed the dagger
scene in Macbeth, she turned to the farmer with a
whisper, " Is not that fine 1 " to which the confidential
reply was, " Oh, mem, its verra enterteening ! Enter-
teening expressing his idea of the effect produced.

P-ig, in old-fashioned Scotch, was always used for
a coarse earthenware jar or vessel. In the Life of
the late Patrick Tytler, the amiable and gifted his
torian of Scotland, there occurs an amusing exemplifi
cation of the utter confusion of ideas caused by the
use of Scottish phraseology. The family, when they
went to London, had taken with them an old Scottish
servant who had no notion of any terms beside her
own. She came in one day greatly disturbed at
the extremely backward state of knowledge of
domestic affairs amongst the Londoners. She had
been to so many shops and could not get "a great
broon pig to hand the butter in."

From a relative of the family I have received an
account of a still worse confusion of ideas, caused by
the inquiry of a Mrs. Chisholm of Chisholm, who
died in London in 1825, at an advanced age. She
had come from the country to be with her daughter,
and was a genuine Scottish lady of the old school.
She wished to purchase a table-cloth of a cheque
pattern, like the squares of a chess or draught board.
Now a draught-board used to be called (as I remember)
by old Scotch people a " dam* brod."t Accordingly,
Mrs. Chisholm entered the shop of a linen-draper, and
asked to be shown table-linen a dam-brod pattern.
The shopman, although, taken aback by a request, as
Dam, the game of draughts. t Brod, the hoard.

204 REMINISCENCES OF

he considered it, so strongly worded, by a respectable
old lady, brought down what he assured her was the
largest and widest made. No ; that would not do.
She repeated her wish for a dam-brod pattern, and
left the shop surprised at the stupidity of the London
shopman not having the pattern she asked for.

Silly has in genuine old Scottish use reference to
weakness of body only, and not of mind. Before
knowing the use of the word, I remember being much
astonished at a farmer of the Mearns telling me of
the strongest-minded man in the county that he was
" uncommon silly," not insinuating any decline of
mental vigour, but only meaning that his bodily
strength was giving way.

Frail, in like manner, expresses infirmity of body,
and implies no charge of any laxity in moral principle \
yet I have seen English persons looking with consider
able consternation when an old-fashioned Scottish lady,
speaking of a young and graceful female, lamented her
being so frail.

Fail is another instance of different use of words.
In Scotland it used to be quite common to say of a
person whose health and strength had declined, that he
had failed. To say this of a person connected with
mercantile business has a very serious effect upon
southern ears, as implying nothing short of bankruptcy
and ruin. I recollect many years ago at Monmouth,
my dear mother creating much consternation in the
mind of the mayor, by saying of a worthy man,
the principal banker in the town, whom they both
concurred in praising, that she was " sorry to find he
was failing."

Honest has in Scotch a peculiar application, irre
spective of any integrity of moral character. It is a
kindly mode of referring to an individual, as we would

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 205

say to a stranger, " Honest man, would you tell me the

way to ?" or as Lord Hermand, when about to

sentence a woman for stealing, began remonstratively,
" Honest woman, whatever garr d ye steal your neigh
bour s tub?"

Superstitious : A correspondent informs me that in
some parts of Mid-Lothian the people constantly use
the word " superstitious " for "bigoted ;" thus, speak
ing of a very keen Free Church person, they will say,
" He is awfu supperstitious."

Kail in England simply expresses cabbage, but in
Scotland represents the chief meal of the day. Hence
the old-fashioned easy way of asking a friend to dinner
was to ask him if he would take his kail with the
family. In the same usage of the word, the Scottish
proverb expresses distress and trouble in a person s
affairs, by saying that " he has got his kail through
the reek." In like manner haddock, in Kincardineshire
and Aberdeenshire, used to express the same idea, as
the expression is, " Will ye tak your haddock wi us
the day 1" that fish being so plentiful and so excellent
that it was a standing dish. There is this difference,
however, in the local usage, that to say in Aberdeen,
Will you take your haddock ? implies an invitation to
dinner ; whilst in Montrose the same expression means
an invitation to supper. Differences of pronunciation
also caused great confusion and misunderstanding.
Novels used to be pronounced novels; envy envy ; a
cloak was a clock, to the surprise of an English lady,
to whom the maid said, on her leaving the house,
" Mem, winna ye tak the clock wi ye ?

The names of children s diseases were a remarkable
item in the catalogue of Scottish words : Thus, in
1775, Mrs. Betty Muirheid kept a boarding-school for
young ladies in the Trongate of Glasgow, near the Tron

20(5 REMINISCENCES 0V

steeple. A girl on her arrival was asked whether she
had had smallpox. " Yes, mem, I ve had the sma pox,
the nirls,* the blabs, t the scaw,t the kinkhost, and
the fever, the branks || and the worm." IT

There is indeed a case of Scottish pronunciation
which adds to the force and copiousness of our language,
by discriminating four words, which, according to
English speaking, are undistinguishable in mere pro
nunciation. The words are wright (a carpenter), to
write (with a pen), right (the reverse of wrong), rite
(a ceremony). The four are, however, distinguished
in old-fashioned Scotch pronunciation thus 1, He s a
wiricht ; 2, to wireete ; 3, richt ; 4, rite.

I can remember a peculiar Scottish phrase very com
monly used, which now seems to have passed away.
I mean the expression " to let on," indicating the notice
or observation of something, or of some person. For

example, " I saw Mr. at the meeting, but I never

let on that I knew he was present." A form of expres
sion which has been a great favourite in Scotland in my
recollection has much gone out of practice I mean
the frequent use of diminutives, generally adopted
either as terms of endearment or of contempt. Thus
it was very common to speak of a person whom you
meant rather to undervalue, as a mannie, a boddie, a
lit loddie, or a wee lit mannie. The Bailie in Rob Roy,
when he intended to represent his party as persons
of no importance, used the expression, " We are bits
o Glasgow bodies."

An admirable Scotch expression I recollect from
one of the Montrose ladies before referred to. Her
niece was asking a great many questions on some
point concerning which her aunt had been giving her

* Measles. t Nettle-rash. J The itch.

Whooping-cough. f| Mumps. IT Toothache.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 207

information, and coming over and over the ground,
demanding an explanation how this had happened,
and why something else was so and so. The old
Aidy lost her patience, and at last burst forth : " I
winna be back-speired noo, Pally Fullerton." Back-
speired ! how much more pithy and expressive than
cross-examined! "He s not a man to ride the water
on," expresses your want of confidence and of trust
in the character referred to. Another capital expres
sion to mark that a person has stated a point rather
under than over the truth, is, " The less I lee," as in
Guy Mannering, where the precentor exclaims to
Mrs. MacCandlish, " Aweel, gudewife, then the less I
lee." We have found it a very amusing task collect
ing together a number of these phrases, and forming
them into a connected epistolary composition. We
may imagine the sort of puzzle it would be to a
young person of the present day one of what we
may call the new school. We will suppose an English
young lady, or an English educated young lady, lately
married, receiving such a letter as the following from
the Scottish aunt of her husband. We may suppose
it to be written by a very old lady, who, for the last
fifty years has not moved from home, and has
changed nothing of her early days. I can safely
affirm that every word of it I have either seen written
in a letter, or have heard in ordinary conversation :

" Montr ose, 1858.*

"MY DEAR NIECE I am real glad to find my nevy
has made so good a choice as to have secured you for
his wife ; and I am sure this step will add much to
his comfort, and we behove to rejoice at it. He will
now look forward to his evening at home, and you
The Scotticisms are printed in italics.

208 RZMINISCSjrCES OF

will be happy when you find you never want him
It will be a great pleasure when you hear him in the
trance, and wipe his feet upon the bass. But Willy
is not strong, and you must look well after him. I
hope you do not let him snuff so much as he did.
He had a sister, poor thing, who died early. She
was remarkably cleve$, and well read, and most
intelligent, but was always uncommonly silly* In
the autumn of 40 she had a sair host, and was aye
speaking through a cold, and at dinner never did more
than to sup a few family broth. I am afraid she did
not change her feet when she came in from the wet
one evening. I never let on that I observed anything
to be wrong; but I remember asking her to come
and sit upon the fire. But she went out, and did not
take the door with her. She lingered till next
spring, when she had a great income,^ and her
parents were then too poor to take her south, and
she died. I hope you will like the lassie Eppie we
have sent you. She is a discreet girl, and comes of a
decent family. She has a sister married upon a
Seceding minister at Kirkcaldy. But I hear he
expects to be transported soon. She was brought up
in one of the hospitals here. Her father had been a
souter and a pawky chiel enough, but was doited for
many years, and her mother was sair dottled. We
have been greatly interested in the hospital where
Eppie was educate, and intended getting up a bazaar
for it, and would have asked you to help us, as we were
most anxious to raise some additional funds, when
one of the Bailies died and left it feuing -stances to
the amount of 5000 pounds, which was really a great
mortification. I am not a good hand of write, and
therefore shall stop. I am very tired, and have been

* Delicate in health. t Ailment

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 209

gantiri* for this half-hour, and even in correspondence
gantin may be smitiirt.^ The kitchent is just coming
in, and I feel a smell of tea, so when I get my four
hours, that will refresh me and set me up again. I
am, your affectionate aunt, ISABEL DlNGWALL."

This letter, then, we suppose written by a very old
Forfarshire lady to her niece in England, and perhaps
the young lady who received it might answer it in a
style as strange to her aunt as her aunt s is to her,
especially if she belonged to that lively class of our
young female friends who indulge a little in phrase
ology which they have imbibed from their brothers,
or male cousins, who have, perhaps for their amuse
ment, encouraged them in its use. The answer, then,
might be something like this ; and without meaning
to be severe or satirical upon our young lady friends,
I may truly say that, though I never heard from one
young lady all these fast terms, I have heard the
most of them separately from many :

" MY DEAR AUNTY Many thanks for your kind
letter and its enclosure. From my not knowing
Scotch, I am not quite up to the mark, and some of
the expressions I don t twig at all. Willie is absent
for a few days, but when he returns home he will
explain it he is quite awake on all such things. I
am glad you are pleased that Willie and I are now
spliced. I am well aware that you will hear me
spoken of in some quarters as a fast young lady. A
man here had the impudence to say that when he
visited my husband s friends he would tell them so.
I quietly and civilly replied, " You be blowed ! So
don t believe him. We get on famously at present.
* Yawning. t Catching. $ Tea-urn.

210 REMINISCENCES OF

Willie comes home from the office every afternoon at
five. We generally take a walk before dinner, and
read and work if we don t go out ; and I assure you
we are very jolly. We don t know many people here
yet. It is rather a swell neighbourhood ; and if we
can t get in with the nobs, depend upon it we will
never take up with any society that is decidedly
snobby. I daresay the girl you are sending will be
very useful to us ; our present one is an awful slow
coach. In fact, the sending her to us was a regular do.
But we hope some day to sport buttons. My father
and mother paid us a visit last week. The governor
is well, and, notwithstanding years and infirmities,
comes out quite a jolly old cove. He is, indeed, if you
will pardon the partiality of a daughter, a regular
brick. He says he will help us if we can t get on,
and I make no doubt will in due time fork out the tin.
I am busy working a cap for you, dear aunty ; it is
from a pretty German pattern, and I think when
finished will be quite a stunner. There is a shop in
Regent Street where I hire patterns, and can get six
of them for five lob. I then return them without
buying them, which I think a capital dodge. I hope
you will sport it for my sake at your first tea and
turn out.

"I have nothing more to say particular, but am
always

" Your affectionate niece, 1

" ELIZA DINGWALL."

. I am trying to break Willie off his horrid
habit of taking snuff. I had rather see him take his
cigar when we are walking. You will be told, I
daresay, that I sometimes take a weed myself. It is
not true, dear aunty."

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 211

Before leaving the question of change in Scottish
expressions, it may be proper to add a few words on
the subject of Scottish dialects i.e., on the differences
which exist in different counties or localities in the
Scottish tongue itself. These differences used to be
as marked as different languages ; of course they still
exist amongst the peasantry as before. The change
consists in their gradual vanishing from the conversa
tion of the educated and refined. The dialects with
which I am most conversant are the two which present
the greatest contrast, viz. the Angus and the Aberdeen,
or the slow and broad Scotch the quick and sharp
Scotch. Whilst the one talks of " Buuts and shoon,"
the other calls the same articles " beets and sheen."
With the Aberdonian "what is always " fat " 01
" fatten ;" " music" is meesic ;" " brutes" are " breets ;"
" What are ye duinT of southern Scotch, in Aberdeen
would be "Fat are ye deeinT Fergusson, nearly a
century ago, noted this peculiarity of dialect in his
poem of The Leith Eaces :

" The Buchan bodies through the beach,

Their bunch of Findrams cry ;
And skirl out bauld in Norland speech,
Gude speldans fa will buy ?

" Findon," or " Finnan haddies," are split, smoked,
and partially dried haddocks. Fergusson, in using
the word "Findrams," which is not found in our
glossaries, has been thought to be in error, but his
accuracy has been verified singularly enough, within
the last few days, by a worthy octogenarian Newhaven
fisherman, bearing the characteristic name of Flucker,
who remarked " that it was a word commonly used
in his youth ; and, above all," he added, "when Leith
llaces were held on the sands, he was like to be cleeved

212 REMINISCENCES OF

wi the lang-tongued hizzies skirling out, A ell a Fin-
dram Speldrains, and they jist ca ed it that to get a
better grip o t wi their tongues."

In Galloway, in 1684, Symson, afterwards an ousted
Episcopalian minister (of Kirkinner), notes some
peculiarities in the speech of the people in that district.
" Some of the countrey people, especially those of the
elder sort, do very often omit the letter * h * after t
as ting for thing ; tree for three ; tatch for thatch ;
wit for with ; fait for faith ; mout for mouth, etc. ;
and also, contrary to some north countrey people, they
oftentimes pronounce f w for v, as serwant for
servant ; and so they call the months of February,
March, and April, the ware quarter, from ver*
Hence their common proverb, speaking of the storms
in February, winter never comes till ware comes. 1
These peculiarities of language have almost disappeared
the immense influx of Irish emigrants during late
years has exercised a perceptible influence over the
dialect of Wigtonshire.

When a southerner mentioned the death of a friend
to a lady of the granite city, she asked, " Fat dee d
he o ?" which being utterly incomprehensible to the
person asked, another Aberdonian lady kindly ex
plained the question, and put it into language which
she supposed could not be mistaken, as thus, "Fat did
he dee o ? " If there was this difference between the
Aberdeen and the Forfar dialect, how much greater
must be that difference when contrasted with the
ore rotundo language of an English southern dignitary.
Such a one being present at a school examination in
Aberdeen wished to put some questions on Scripture
history himself, and asked an intelligent boy, " What

* Ver, the spring months. e.g.

This was in ver quhen wynter tid. " Barlour.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 213

was the ultimate fate of Pharaoh 7 " This the boy
not understanding, the master put the same question
Aberdonice, "Jemmy, fat was the limner end o
Pharaoh] which called forth the ready reply, " He
was drouned i the Red Sea." A Forfarshire parent,
dissatisfied with his son s English pronunciation,
remonstrated with him, " What for div ye say why ?
why canna ye say what for "?

The power of Scottish phraseology, or rather of
Scottish language, could not be better displayed than
in the following Aberdonian description of London
theatricals : Mr. Taylor, at one time well known in
London as having the management of the opera-house,
had his father up from Aberdeen to visit him and see
the wonders of the capital. When the old man re
turned home, his friends, anxious to know the impres
sions produced on his mind by scenes and characters
so different from what he had been accustomed to at
home, inquired what sort of business his son carried
on] "Ou," said he (in reference to the operatic
singers and the corps de ballet), "he just keeps a
curn* o quainiest and a wheen widdyfous,! and gars
them fissle, and loup, and mak murgeons,|| to please
the great fowk."

Another ludicrous interrogatory occurred regarding
the death of a Mr. Thomas Thomson. It appeared
there were two cousins of this name, both corpulent
men. When it was announced that Mr. Thomas
Thomson was dead, an Aberdeen friend of the family
asked, " Fatten Thamas Thamson ] He was in
formed that it was a fat Thomas Thomson, upon
which the Aberdeen query naturally arose, " Ay, but
fatten fat Thamas Thamson ] " Another illustration

* A number. t Young girls. $ Gallows birds.

Make whistling noises. || Distorted gestures.

214 REMINISCENCES OF

of the Aberdeen dialect is thus given : The Pope o
Rome requires a bull to do his wark, but the Emperor
o France made a coo dee t a " a cow do it all a
pun on coup d dtat. A young lady from Aberdeen
had been on a visit to Montrose, and was disappointed
at finding there a great lack of beaux, and balls, and
concerts. This lack was not made up to her by the
invitations which she had received to dinner parties.
And she thus expressed her feelings on the subject
in her native dialect, when asked how she liked
Montrose : " Indeed there s neither men nor meesic,
and fat care I for meat?" There is no male society
and no concerts, and what do I care for dinners?
The dialect and the local feelings of Aberdeen were
said to have produced some amusement in London,
as displayed by the lady of the Provost of Aberdeen
when accompanying her husband going up officially
to the capital. Some persons to whom she had been
introduced recommended her going to the opera as
one of the sights worthy the attention of a stranger.
The good lady, full of the greatness of her situation
as wife of the provost, and knowing the sensation her
appearance in public occasioned when in her own
city, and supposing that a little excitement would
accompany her with the London public, rather declined,
under the modest plea, " Fat for should I gang to the
opera, just to creat a confeesion ? An aunt of mine,
who knew Aberdeen well, used to tell a traditionary
story of two Aberdonian ladies, who by their insinua
tions against each other, finely illustrated the force
of the dialect then in common use. They had both
of them been very attentive to a sick lady in declin
ing health, and on her death each had felt a distrust
of the perfect disinterestedness of the other s attention
This created more than a coolness between them, and

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 215

the bad feeling came out on their passing in the street.
The one insinuated her suspicions of unfair dealing
with the property of the deceased by ejaculating, as
the other passed her, " Henny pig* and green tea," to
which the other retorted, in the same spirit, "Silk
coat and negligee." t Aberdonian pronunciation pro
duced on one occasion a curious equivoque between
the minister and a mother of a family with whom he
was conversing in a pastoral way. The minister had
said, "Weel, Margaret, I hope you re thoroughly
ashamed of your sins" Now, in Aberdeenshire sons
are pronounced sins ; accordingly, to the minister s
surprise, Margaret burst forth, " Ashamed o ma sins !
na, na, I m proud o ma sins. Indeed, gin it werena
for thae cutties o dauchters, I should be ower proud

o ma sins.

Any of my readers who are not much conversant
with Aberdeen dialect will find the following a good
specimen : A lady who resided in Aberdeen, being
on a visit to some friends in the country, joined an
excursion on horseback. Not being much of an
equestrian, she was mounted upon a Highland pony
as being the canniest baste. He, however, had a trick
of standing still in crossing a stream. A burn had
to be crossed the rest of the party passed on, while
" Paddy " remained, pretending to drink. Miss More,
in great desperation, called out to one of her friends
" Bell, oman, turn back an gie me your bit fuppie,
for the breet s stannin i the peel wi ma."

A rich specimen of Aberdeen dialect, under peculiar
circumstances, was supplied by an Aberdonian lady
who had risen in the world from selling fruit at a stall
to be the wife of the Lord Provost. Driving along
in her own carriage, she ordered it to stop, and called
Honey jar. t A kind of loose gown formerly worn.

216 REMINISCENCES OF

to her a poor woman whom she saw following her old
occupation. After some colloquy, she dismissed her
very coolly, remarking, " Deed, freet s dear sin I
sauld freet in streets o Aberdeen." This anecdote
of reference to a good lady s more humble occupation
than riding in her carriage may introduce a somewhat
analogous anecdote, in which a more distinguished
personage than the wife of the Provost of Aberdeen
takes a prominent part. The present Archbishop of
Canterbury tells the story himself, with that admixture
of humour and of true dignity by which his Grace s
manner is so happily distinguished. The Archbishop s
father in early life lived much at Dollar, where, I
believe, he had some legal and official appointment.
His sons, the Archbishop and his brother, attended
the grammar school, rather celebrated in the coun
try ; they ran about and played like other lads, and
were known as schoolboys to the peasantry. In
after days, when the Archbishop had arrived at his
present place of dignity as Primate of all England,
he was attending a great confirmation service at
Croydon the churchwardens, clergy, mayors, etc.,
of the place in attendance upon the Archbishop, and
a great congregation of spectators. On going up the
centre of the church, a Dollar man, who had got into
the crowd in a side aisle, said, loud enough for the
Archbishop to hear, " There wasna muckle o this at
Dollar, my Lord."

I have not had leisure to pursue, as I had intended,
a further consideration of SCOTTISH DIALECT, and their
differences from each other in the north, south, east,
and- west of Scotland. I merely remark now, that
the dialect of one district is considered quite barbar
ous, and laughed at by the inhabitants of another
district where a different form of language is adopted.

SCOTTISH LIFE d- CHARACTER. 21V

I have spoken of the essential difference between
Aberdeen and Southern Scotch. An English gentle
man had been visiting the Lord Provost of Edinburgh,
and accompanied him to Aberdeen. His lordship of
Edinburgh introduced his English friend to the Provost
of Aberdeen, and they both attended a great dinner
given by the latter. After grace had been said, the
Provost kindly and hospitably addressed the company,
Aberdonice "Now, gentlemen, fah tee, fah tee." The
Englishman whispered to his friend, and asked what
was meant by " fah tee, fah tee ; " to which his
lordship replied " Hout, he canna speak ; he means
fau too, fau too." Thus one Scotticism was held in
terror by those who used a different Scotticism : as
at Inverary, the wife of the chief writer of the place,
seeking to secure her guest from the taint of inferior
society, intimated to him, but somewhat confidentially,
that Mrs. W. (the rival writer s wife) was quite a
mlgar body, so much so as to ask any one leaving
the room to " snib the door," instead of bidding them,
as she triumphantly observed, " sneck the door."

Now, to every one who follows these anecdotes of
a past time, it must be obvious how much peculiarities
of Scottish wit and humour depend upon the language
in which they are clothed. As I have before re
marked, much of the point depends upon the broad
Scotch with which they are accompanied. As a type
and representative of that phraseology, we would
specially recommend a study of our Scottish proverbs.
In fact, in Scottish proverbs will be found an epitome
of the Scottish phraseology, which is peculiar and
characteristic. I think it quite clear that there are
proverbs exclusively Scottish, and as we find embodied
in them traits of Scottish character, and many
peculiar forms of Scottish thought and Scottish

218 REMINISCENCES OF

language, sayings of this kind, once so familiar,
should have a place in our Scottish Reminiscences.
Proverbs are literally, in many instances, becoming
reminiscences. They now seem to belong to that older
generation whom we recollect, and who used them in
conversation freely and constantly. To strengthen
an argument or illustrate a remark by a proverb was
then a common practice in conversation. Their use,
however, is now considered vulgar, and their formal
application is almost prohibited by the rules of polite
society. Lord Chesterfield denounced the practice of
quoting proverbs as a palpable violation of all polite
refinement in conversation. Notwithstanding all this,
we acknowledge having much pleasure in recalling
our national proverbial expressions. They are full of
character, and we find amongst them important truths,
expressed forcibly, wisely, and gracefully. The ex
pression of Bacon has often been quoted " The
genius, wit, and wisdom of a nation, are discovered
by their proverbs."

All nations have their proverbs, and a vast number
of books have been written on the subject. We find,
accordingly, that collections have been made of
proverbs considered as belonging peculiarly to
Scotland. The collections to which I have had
access are the following :

1. The fifth edition, by Balfour, of "Ray s Complete
Collection of English Proverbs," in which is a
separate collection of those which are considered
Scottish Proverbs 1813. Ray professes to have
taken these from Fergusson s work mentioned below.

2. A Complete Collection of Scottish Proverbs,
explained and made intelligible to the English reader,
by James Kelly, M.A., published in London 172 1.

3. Scottish Proverbs gathered together by David

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 219

Fergusson, sometime minister at Dunfermline, and
put ordine alphabetico when he departed this life anno
1598. Edinburgh, 1641.

4. A collection of Scots Proverbs, dedicated to the
Tenantry of Scotland, by Allan Eamsay. This
collection is found in the edition of his Poetical Works,
3 vols. post 8vo, Edin. 1818, but is not in the hand
some edition of 1800. London, 2 vols. 8vo.

5. Scottish Proverbs, collected and arranged by
Andrew Henderson, with an introductory Essay by
W. Motherwell. Edin. 1832.

6. The Proverbial Philosophy of Scotland, an
address to the School of Arts, by William Stirling of
Keir, M.P. Stirling and Edin. 1855.

The collection of Eay, the great English naturalist,
is well known. The first two editions, published at
Cambridge in 1670 and 1678, were by the author;
subsequent editions were by other editors.

The work by James Kelly professes to collect
Scottish proverbs only. It is a volume of nearly 400
pages, and contains a short explanation or comment
ary attached to each, and often parallel sayings from
other languages.* Mr. Kelly bears ample testimony
to the extraordinary free use made of proverbs in his
time by his countrymen and by himself. He says
that " there were current in society upwards of 3000
proverbs, exclusively Scottish." He adds, " The Scots
are wonderfully given to this way of speaking, and,
as the consequence of that, abound with proverbs,
many of which are very expressive, quick, and home

Amongst many acts of kindness and essential assistance
which I have received and am constantly receiving from my
friend Mr. Hugh James Rollo, I owe my introduction to this
interesting Scottish volume, now. I believe, rather scarce,

220 KSMINI8CJSNQES OF

to the purpose; and, indeed, this humour prevails
universally over the whole nation, especially among
the better sort of the commonalty, none of whom
will discourse with you any considerable time but he
will affirm every assertion and observation with a
Scottish proverb. To that nation I owe my birth
and education; and to that manner of speaking I
was used from my infancy, to such a degree that I
became in some measure remarkable for it." This
was written in 1721, and we may see from Mr. Kelly s
account what a change has taken place in society as
regards this mode of intercourse. Our author states
that he has " omitted in his collection many popular
proverbs which are very pat and expressive," and
adds as his reason, that " since it does not become a
man of manners to use them, it does not become a
man of my age and profession to write them."
What was Mr. Kelly s profession or what his age
does not appear from any statements in this volume ;
but, judging by many proverbs which he has retained,
those which consideration of years and of profession
induced him to omit must have been bad indeed, and
unbecoming for any age or any profession.* The
third collection by Mr. Fergusson is mentioned by
Kelly as the only one which had been made before
his time, and that he had not met with it till he had
made considerable progress in his own collection.
The book is now extremely rare, and fetches a high
price. By the great kindness of the learned librarian,
I have been permitted to see the copy belonging to
the library of the Writers to the Signet. It is the
first edition, and very rare. A quaint little thin
volume, such as delights the eyes of true bibliomaniacs,

* Kelly s book is constantly quoted by Jamieson, and is.
Indeed, an excellent work for the study of good old Scotch.

SCOTTISH LIFE cfc CHARACTER. 221

unpaged, and published at Edinburgh 1641 although
on the title-page the proverbs are said to have been
collected at Mr. Fergusson s death, 1598.* There is
no preface or notice by the author, but an address
from the printer, "to the merrie, judicious, and dis
creet reader/

The proverbs, amounting to 945, are given without
any comment or explanation. Many of them are of a
very antique cast of language ; indeed some would be
to most persons quite unintelligible without a lexicon.

The printer, in his address " to the merrie, judicious,
and discreet reader," refers in the following quaint
expressions to the author : " Therefore manie in this
realme that hath hard of David Fergusson, sometime
minister at Dunfermline, and of his quick answers and
speeches, both to great persons and others inferiours,
and hath hard of his proverbs which hee gathered to
gether in his time, and now we put downe according
to the order of the alphabet ; and manie, of all ranks
of persons, being verie desirous to have the said pro
verbs, I have thought good to put them to the presse
for thy better satisfaction. ... I know that there
may be some that will say and marvell that a minister
should have taken pains to gather such proverbs to
gether; but they that knew his forme of powerfull
preaching the word, and his ordinar talking, ever
almost using proverbiall speeches, will not finde fault
with this that he hath done. And whereas there are
some old Scottish words not in use now, bear with
that, because if ye alter those words, the proverb will
have no grace ; and so, recommending these proverbs
to thy good use, I bid thee farewell."

I now subjoin a few of Fergusson s Proverbs, ver-

This probably throws back the collection to about the
middle of the century.

222 REMINISCENCES OP

batim, which are of a more obsolete character, and
have appended explanations, of the correctness of which,
however, I am not quite confident :

A year a nurish, 1 seven year a da.* Refers, I pre
sume, to fulfilling the maternal office.

Anes payit never cravit. Debts once paid give no
more trouble.

All wald 3 have all, all wald forgie* Those who
exact much should be ready to concede.

A gangang* fit 9 is aye gettin (gin 9 it were but a
thorn), or, as it sometimes runs, gin it were but a
broken tae, i.e. toe. A man of industry will certainly
get a living ; though the proverb is often applied to
those who went abroad and got a mischief when they
might safely have stayed at home (Kelly).

All crakes? all bears" Spoken against bullies who
kept a great hectoring, and yet, when put to it,
tamely pocket an affront (Kelly).

Bourd 1 not wi bawtie 1 * (lest he bite you). Do not
jest too familiarly with your superiors (Kelly), or
with dangerous characters.

Bread s house skailed never. 13 While people have
bread they need not give up housekeeping. Spoken
when one has bread and wishes something better
(Kelly).

Crabbit 1 was and cause had. Spoken ironically of
persons put out of temper without adequate cause.

Dame, deem 15 warily, ye (watna 19 wha wytes" yerseJl).

1 Nurse. 7 Always. 13 To skail house, to

2 Daw, a slut, 8 If. disfurnish.

3 Would. 9 Boasters. 14 Being angry 01

4 Forgive. 10 TJsed as cowards (?) cross.
6 Going or moving. n Jest. 15 Judge.

8 Foot. 12 A dog s name. 16 Know not.

17 Blames.

SCOTTISH LIFE * CHARACTER. 223

Spoken to remind those who pass hard censures
on others that they may themselves be censured.

Efter lang mint 1 never dint? Spoken of long and
painful labour producing little effect. Kelly s reading
is "Lang mint little dint" Spoken when men
threaten much and dare not execute (Kelly).

Fill fou 3 and hand 4 fou maks a stark* man. In
Border language a stark man was one who takes and
keeps boldly.

He that crabbs 9 without cause should mease 7 without
mends. 8 Spoken to remind those who are angry
without cause, that they should not be particular in
requiring apologies from others.

He is worth na weill that may not bide na wae. He
deserves not the sweet that will not taste the sour.
He does not deserve prosperity who cannot meet
adversity.

Kame 9 sindle 11 frame sair. u Applied to those who
forbear for a while, but when once roused can act
with severity.

Kamesters 1 are aye creeshie. n It is usual for men
to look like their trade.

Let alane males mony lurden. 14 Want of correction
makes many a bad boy (Kelly).

Mony tynes 1 * the half-mark 1 * whinger" (for the halfe

1 To aim at. * Settle. 12 Wool-combers.

2 A stroke. 8 Amends. 1S Greasy.

3 Full. 4 Hold. 9 Comb. 14 Worthless fellow.
5 Potent or strong. lo Seldom. 15 Loses.

Is angry. n Painfully. 16 Sixpenny.

A sort of dagger or hanger which seems to have been used
both at meals as a knife and in broils

" And whingers now in friendship bare.
The social meal to part and share,
Had found a bloody sheath." Lay of the Last Mmstrcl.

224 REMINISCENCES OF

pennie whang)? Another version of penny wise and
pound foolish.

Na plie* is best.

Heavers 3 should not be rewers. 4 Those who are so
fond of a thing as to snap at it, should not repent
when they have got it (Kelly).

SoJc and seill is best. The interpretation of this
proverb is not obvious, and later writers do not
appear to have adopted it from Fergusson. It is
quite clear that sok or sock is the ploughshare. Seil
is happiness, as in Kelly. "Seil comes not till
sorrow be o er;" and in Aberdeen they say, "Seil o
your face," to express a blessing. My reading is
"the plough and happiness the best lot." The
happiest life is the healthy country one. See Robert
Burns spirited song with the chorus :

" Up wi my ploughman lad,

And hey my merry ploughman ;
Of a the trades that I do ken,
Commend me to the ploughman."

A somewhat different reading of this very obscure
and now indeed obsolete proverb has been suggested
by an esteemed and learned friend : " I should say
rather it meant that the ploughshare, or country life,
accompanied with good luck or fortune was best ; i.e.,
that industry coupled with good fortune (good seasons
and the like) was the combination that was most to
be desired. Seel, in Anglo-Saxon, as a noun, means
opportunity, and then good luck, happiness, etc.

There s mae* madines* nor makines? Girls are more
plentiful in the world than hares.

1 Thong. 3 Robbers. * More.

2 No lawsuit. 4 Rue, to repent. 6 Maidrna.

7 Hares.

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHAEAGTEU. 225

Ye briecV of the gouk* ye have not a rhyme* but ane.
Applied to persons who tire everybody by constantly
harping on one subject.

The collection by Allan Kamsay is very good, and
professes to correct the errors of former collectors. I
have now before me khz first edition, Edinburgh, 1737,
with the appropriate motto on the title-page, " That
maun be true that a men say." This edition contains
proverbs only, the number being 2464. Some pro
verbs in this collection I do not find in others, and
one quality it possesses in a remarkable degree it is
very Scotch. The language of the proverbial wisdom
has the true Scottish flavour ; not only is this the
case with the proverbs themselves, but the dedication
to the tenantry of Scotland, prefixed to the collection,
is written in pure Scottish dialect. From this dedica
tion I make an extract, which falls in with our plan
of recording Scotch reminiscences, as Allan Eamsay
there states the great value set upon proverbs in his
day ? and the great importance which he attaches to
them as teachers of moral wisdom, and as combining
amusement with instruction. The prose of Allan
Ramsay has, too, a spice of his poetry in its composi
tion. His dedication is, To the tenantry of Scotland,
farmers of the dales, and storemasters of the hills

"Worthy friends The following hoard of wise
sayings and observations of our forefathers, which
have been gathering through mony bygane ages, I
have collected with great care, and restored to their
proper sense. . . .

"As naething helps our happiness mair than to

have the mind made up wi right principles, I desire

you, for the thriving and pleasure of you and yours,

to use your een and lend your lugs to these guid auld

1 Take after. 2 Cuckoo. 3 JSote.

226 REMINISCENCES OF

saws, that shine wi wail d sense, and will as lang as
the world wags. Gar your bairns get them by heart ;
let them have a place among your family-books, and
may never a window-sole through the country be
without them. On a spare hour, when the day is
clear, behind a ruck, or on the green howm, draw the
treasure frae your pouch, an enjoy the pleasant
companion. Ye happy herds, while your hirdsell are
feeding on the flowery braes, you may eithly make
yoursells master of the haleware. How usefovi will
it prove to you (wha hae sae few opportunities of
common clattering) when ye forgather wi your
friends at kirk or market, banquet or bridal ! By
your proficiency you ll be able, in the proverbial way,
to keep up the saul of a conversation that is baith
blyth an usefou ."

Mr. Henderson s work is a compilation from those
already mentioned. It is very copious, and the
introductory essay contains some excellent remarks
upon the wisdom and wit of Scottish proverbial
sayings.

Mr. Stirling s (now Sir W. Stirling-Maxwell s)
address, like everything he writes, indicates a minute
and profound knowledge of his subject, and is full
of picturesque and just views of human nature. He
attaches much importance to the teaching conveyed in
proverbial expressions, and recommends his readers
even still to collect such proverbial expressions as may
yet linger in conversation, because, as he observes, " If
it is not yet registered, it is possible that it might have
died with the tongue from which you took it, and so
have been lost for ever." " I believe," he adds, " the
number of good old saws still floating as waifs
and strays on the tide of popular talk to be much
greater than might at first appear."

SCOTTISH LIFE <L CHARACTER. 227

One remark is applicable to all these collections
viz., that out of so large a number there are many of
them on which we have little grounds for deciding that
they are exclusively Scottish. In fact, some are mere
translations of proverbs adopted by many nations ;
some of universal adoption. Thus we have

A burnt bairn f re dreads.

Ae swallow makes nae simmer.

Faint heart ne er wan fair lady

III weeds wax weel.

Mony smds mak a muckle.

O 1 twa ills chuse the least.

Set a knave to grip a knave.

Twa wits are better than ane.

There s nae fule like an auld fule.

Ye canna mak a silk purse o } a soitfs lug.

Ae bird $ the hand is worth twa fleeing.

Mony cooks ne er made gude kail.

Of numerous proverbs such as these, some may or
mav not be original in the Scottish. Sir William

/ O

remarks that many of the best and oldest proverbs
may be common to all people may have occurred to
all. In our national collections, therefore, some of
the proverbs recorded may be simply translations
into Scotch of what have been long considered
the property of other nations. Still, I hope it is not
a mere national partiality to say that many of
the common proverbs gain much by such translation
from other tongues. All that I would attempt now
is, to select some of our more popular proverbial
sayings, which many of us can remember as current
amongst us, and were much used by the late genera
tion in society, and to add a few from the collections
I have named, which bear a very decided Scottish
stamp either in turn of thought or in turn of language.

228 REMINISCENCES OF

I remember being much struck the tirst time I
heard the application of that pretty Scottish saying
regarding a fair bride. I was walking in Montrose, a
day or two before her marriage, with a young lady, a
connection of mine, who merited this description,
when she was kindly accosted by an old friend,
an honest fish-wife of the town, " Weel, Miss Elizabeth,
hae ye gotten a yer claes ready 1 to which the
young lady modestly answered, " Oh, Janet, my claes
are soon got ready ; and Janet replied, in the old
Scotch proverb, "Ay, weel, a bonnie bride s swne
buskit" In the old collection, an addition less
sentimental is made to this proverb, A short horse is
mne iinspit?

To encourage strenuous exertions to meet difficult
circumstances, is well expressed by Setting a stout
heart to a stey brae.

The mode of expressing that the worth of a hand
some woman outweighs even her beauty, has a very-
Scottish character She s better than she s bonnie.
The opposite of this was expressed by a Highlander
of his own wife, when he somewhat ungrammatically
said of her, " She s bonnier than she s better."

The frequent evil to harvest operations from
autumnal rains and fogs in Scotland is well told in
the saying, A dry summer ne er made a dear peck.

There can be no question as to country in the fol
lowing, which seems to express generally that persons
may have the name and appearance of greatness
without the reality A Stuarts are na sib 3 to the king.

There is an excellent Scottish version of the
common proverb, " He that s born to be hanged will
never be drowned." The water will never warr* the
widdie, i.e. never cheat the gallows. This saying re-

1 Attired. 2 Curried. 3 Related. 4 Outrun.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 229

ceived a very naive practical application during the
anxiety and alarm of a storm. One of the passengers,
a good simple-minded minister, was sharing the alarm
that was felt around him, until spying one of his
parishioners, of whose ignominious end he had long
felt persuaded, he exclaimed to himself, " Oh, we are
all safe now, " and accordingly accosted the poor man
with strong assurances of the great pleasure he had in
seeing him on board.

Hs ill getting the breeks aff the Highlandman is a pro
verb that savours very strong of a Lowland Scotch
origin. Having suffered loss at the hands of their
neighbours from the hills, this was a mode of express
ing the painful truth that there was little hope of
obtaining redress from those who had no means at
their disposal.

Proverbs connected with the bagpipes I set down
as legitimate Scotch, as thus Ye are as lang in tuning
your pipes as anither wad play a spring* You are as
long of setting about a thing as another would be in
doing it.

There is a set of Scottish proverbs which we may
group together as containing one quality in common,
and that in reference to the Evil Spirit, and to his
agency in the world. This is a reference often, I
fear, too lightly made ; but I am not conscious of
anything deliberately profane or irreverent in the fol
lowing :

The dell s nae sae ill as hes caad. The most of
people may be found to have some redeeming good
point : applied in Guy Mannering by the Deacon to
Gilbert Glossin, upon his intimating his intention to
come to his shop soon for the purpose of laying in his
winter stock of groceries.

* Tune.
IT

230 REMINISCENCES OF

To the same effect, It s a sin to lee on tlie deil. Even
of the worst people, truth at least should be spoken.

He should hae a lang-shafted spune that sups kail wi } the
deil. He should be well guarded and well protected
that has to do with cunning and unprincipled men.

Lang ere the deil dee by the dyke-side. Spoken
when the improbable death of some powerful and ill-
disposed person is talked of.

Let ae deil ding anither. Spoken when too bad
persons are at variance over some evil work.

The deiVs bairns hae deiVs luck. Spoken enviously
when ill people prosper.

The deil s a busy bishop in his ain diode. Bad men
are sure to be active in promoting their own bad
ends. A quaint proverb of this class I have been
told of as coming from the reminiscences of an old
lady of quality, to recommend a courteous manner to
every one : It s aye gude to be ceevil, as the auld wife
said when she beckit * to the deevil.

Raise nae mair deils than ye are able to lay. Provoke
no strifes which ye may be unable to appease.

The deil s aye gude to his ain. A. malicious proverb,
spoken as if those whom we disparage were deriving
their success from bad causes.

Ye wad do little for God an the deevil was dead. A
sarcastic mode of telling a person that fear, rather
than love or principle, is the motive to his good con
duct.

In the old collection already referred to is a pro
verb which, although somewhat personal, is too good
to omit. It is doubtful how it took its origin,
whether as a satire against the decanal order in
general, or against some obnoxious dean in particular.
These are the terms of it: The deil an the dean

* Curtsied.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 231

begin wi ae letter. When the deil has the dean the kirk
will be the better.

The deil s gane ower Jock Wdbster is a saying which
I have been accustomed to in my part of. the country
from early years. It expresses generally misfortune
or confusion, but I am not quite sure of the exact
meaning, or who is represented by " Jock Wabster."
It was a great favourite with Sir Walter Scott, who
quotes it twice in Rob Eoy. Allan Ramsay introduces
it in the Gentle Shepherd to express the misery of
married life when the first dream of love has passed
away :

" The * Deil gaes ower Jock Wabster, hame grows hell,
When Pate misca s ye waur than tongue can tell."

There are two very pithy Scottish proverbial expres
sions for describing the case of young women losing
their chance of good marriages by setting their aims
too high. Thus an old lady, speaking of her grand
daughter having made what she considered a poor
match, described her as having "lookit at the moon,
and lichtit * : in the midden."

It is recorded again of a celebrated beauty, Becky
Monteith, that being asked how she had not made a
good marriage, she replied, " Ye see, I wadna hae the
walkers, and the riders gaed %."

It s ill to wauken sleeping dogs. It is a bad policy
to rouse dangerous and mischievous people, who are
for the present quiet.

It is nae mair ferly f to see a woman yreit than to see a
goose go barefit. A harsh and ungallant reference to
the facility with which the softer sex can avail them
selves of tears to carry a point.

A Scots mist will weet an Englishman to the skin.

i

* Fallen.

282 REMINISCENCES OF

A proverb, evidently of Caledonian origin, arising from
the frequent complaints made by English visitors of
the heavy mists which hang about our hills, and which
are found to annoy the southern traveller as it were
downright rain.

Keep yom- ain fish-guts to your ain sea-maws. This
was a favourite proverb with Sir Walter Scott, when
he meant to express the policy of first considering the
interests that are nearest home. The saying savours
of the fishing population of the east cost.

A Yule feast may be done at Pasch. Festivities,
although usually practised at Christmas, need not, on
suitable occasions, be confined to any season.

IPs better to sup wi a cutty than want a spune.
Cutty means anything short, stumpy, and not of full
growth ; frequently applied to a short-handled horn
spoon. As Meg Merrilies says to the bewildered
Dominie, " If ye dinna eat instantly, by the bread and
salt, I ll put it down your throat wi the cutty spune"

" Fulcs mak feasts and wise men eat em, my Lord."
This was said to a Scottish nobleman on his giving
a great entertainment, and who readily answered,
" Ay, and Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat em"

A green Yule * and a white Pays t mak a fat kirk-
yard. A very coarse proverb, but may express a
general truth as regards the effects of season on the
human frame. Another of a similar character is, An
air J winter maks a sair winter.

Wha will bell the cat? The proverb is used in
reference to a proposal for accomplishing a difficult or
dangerous task, and alludes to the fable of the poor
mice proposing to put a bell about the cat s neck, that
they might be apprised of his coming. The historical
application is well known. When the nobles of
* Christmas. t Pasch or Easter. t Early. Severe.

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 233

Scotland proposed to go in a body to Stirling to take
Cochrane, the favourite of James the Third, and hang
him, the Lord Gray asked, "It is well said, but wha
will bell the cat ?" The Earl of Angus accepted the
challenge, and effected the object. To his dying day
he was called Archibald Bell-the-Cat.

Ye hae tint the tongue o the trump. " Trump is
a Jew s harp. To lose the tongue of it is to lose
what is essential to its sound.

Meat and mass hinders nae man. Needful food,
and suitable religious exercises, should not be spared
under greatest haste.

Ye fand it whar the Highlandman /and tJie tangs (i.e.
at the fireside). A hit at our mountain neighbours,
who occasionally took from the Lowlands as having
found something that was never lost.

His head will ne er rive (i.e. tear) hi-s father s bonnet.
A picturesque way of expressing that the son will
never equal the influence and ability of his sire.

His bark is waur nor his bite. A good-natured
apology for one who is good-hearted and rough in
speech.

Do as the cow of For far did, tak a standing drink.
This proverb relates to an occurrence which gave rise
to a lawsuit and a whimsical legal decision. A woman
in Forfar, who was brewing, set out her tub of beer
to cool. A cow came by and drank it up. The
owner of the cow was sued for compensation, but the
bailies of Forfar, who tried the case, acquitted the
owner of the cow, on the ground that the farewell
drink, called in the Highlands the dochan doris* or
stirrup-cup, taken by the guest standing by the door.

The proper orthography of this expression is deoch-an-doruis
(or dorais). Deoch, a drink ; an, of the ; doruis or dvrais, pos
sessive case of dorus or doras a door.

234 REMIND CENCES OF

was never charged ; and as the cow had taken but a
standing drink outside, it could not, according to the
Scottish usage, be chargeable. Sir Walter Scott has
humorously alluded to this circumstance in the notes
to Waverley, but has not mentioned it as the subject
of an old Scotch proverb.

Bannocks are better nor nae kind o bread. Evi
dently Scottish. Better have oatmeal cakes to eat
than be in want of wheaten loaves.

Folly is a bonny dog. Meaning, I suppose, that
many are imposed upon by the false appearances and
attractions of vicious pleasures.

The evening brings a hame is an interesting saying,
meaning, that the evening of life, or the approach of
death, softens many of our political and religious
differences. I do not find this proverb in the older
collections, but Sir William Maxwell justly calls it
" a beautiful proverb, which, lending itself to various
uses, may be taken as an expression of faith in the
gradual growth and spread of large-hearted Christian
charity, the noblest result of our happy freedom of
thought and discussion." The literal idea of the
" e ening bringing a hame," has a high and illustrious
antiquity, as in the fragment of Sappho, Efface, vavra
<pegti$ o/V (or oJvov) ptPtiZ cuya, fogeig rjLqrsgi <7?a7da

which is thus paraphrased by Lord Byron in Don
Juan, iii. 107 :

" Hesperus, thou bringest all good things
Home to the weary, to the hungry cheer ;

To the young birds the parent s brooding wings,
The welcome stall to the o erlaboured steer, etc.

Thou bring st the child, too, to the mother s breast."

A similar graceful and moral saying inculcates an
acknowledgment of gratitude for the past favours

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 235

which we have enjoyed when we come to the close of
the day or the close of life

Ruse * tJie fair day at e en.

But a very learned and esteemed friend has suggested
another reading of this proverb, in accordance with
the celebrated saying of Solon (Arist. Eth. N. I. 10):
Kara So Xwva %fwv r tXog ogav Do not praise the fair
ness of the day till evening ; do not call the life happy
till you have seen the close ; or, in other matters, do
not boast that all is well till you have conducted your
undertaking to a prosperous end.

Let him tak a spring on his ain fiddle. Spoken of
a foolish and unreasonable person ; as if to say, " We
will for the present allow him to have his own way."
Bailie Nicol Jarvie quotes the proverb with great
bitterness, when he warns his opponent that his time
for triumph will come ere long, " Aweel, aweel, sir,
you re welcome to a tune on your ain fiddle ; but see if
I dinna gar ye dance till t afore it s dune."

The kirk is meikle, but ye may say mass in ae end o t ;
or, as I have received it in another form, " If we
canna preach in the kirk, we can sing mass in the
quire." This intimates, where something is alleged
to be too much, that you need take no more than
what you have need for. I heard the proverb used
in this sense by Sir Walter Scott at his own table.
His son had complained of some quaighs which Sir
Walter had produced for a dram after dinner, that
they were too large. His answer was, " Well, Walter,
as my good mother used to say, if the kirk is ower
big, just sing mass in the quire." Here is another
reference to kirk and quire He rives} the kirk to
theikt the (juire. Spoken of unprofitable persons,
* Praise. t Tears. + Thatch.

236 REMINISCENCES OF

who in the English proverb, "rob Peter to pay
Paul."

The king s errand, may come the cadger s gate yet. A
great man may need the service of a very mean one.

TJie maut is aboon the meal. His liquor has done
more for him than his meat. The man is drunk.

Mak a kirk and a mill dt. Turn a thing to any
purpose you like ; or rather, spoken sarcastically,
Take it, and make the best of it.

Like a sow playing on a trump. No image could be
well more incongruous than a pig performing on a
Jew s harp.

Mair by luck than gude guiding. His success is due
to his fortunate circumstances, rather than to his own
discretion.

He s not a man to ride the water wi\ A common
Scottish saying to express you cannot trust such an
one in trying times. May have arisen from the dis
tricts where fords abounded, and the crossing them
was dangerous.

He rides on the rig gin o the kirk. The rigging
being the top of the roof, the proverb used to be
applied to those who carried their zeal for church
matters to the extreme point.

Leal heart never lee d, well expresses that an honest
loyal disposition will scorn, under all circumstances,
to tell a falsehood.

A common Scottish proverb, Let that flee stick to the
wa\ has an obvious meaning, " Say nothing more on
that subject." But the derivation is not obvious.*

It lias "been suggested, and with much reason, that the
reference is to a fly sticking on a wet or a newly painted wall ;
this is corroborated by the addition in Rob Roy, "When the
dirt s dry, it will rub out," which seems to point out the mean
ing and derivation of the proverb.

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 237

In like manner, the meaning of He that will to Cupar
maun to Cupar, is clearly that if a man is obstinate,
and bent upon his own dangerous course, he must
take it. But why Cupar? and whether is it the
Cupar of Angus or the Cupar of Fife 1

Kindness creeps where it canna gang prettily expresses
that where love can do little, it will do that little,
though it cannot do more.

In my part of the country a ridiculous addition
used to be made to the common Scottish saying.
Mony a thing s made for the pennie, i.e. Many contriv
ances are thought of to get money. The addition is.
" As the old woman said when she saw a black man,"
taking it for granted that he was an ingenious and
curious piece of mechanism made for profit.

Bluid is thicker than water is a proverb which has
a marked Scottish aspect, as meant to vindicate those
family predilections to which, as a nation, we are
supposed to be rather strongly inclined.

There s aye water where the stirMe* drouns. Where cer
tain effects are produced, there must be some causes
at work a proverb used to show that a universal
popular suspicion as to an obvious effect must be laid
in truth.

Better a finger aff than aye waggirt. This proverb
I remember as a great favourite with many Scotch
people. Better experience the worst, than have an
evil always pending.

Cadgers are aye cracking o crook saddles^ has a very
Scottish aspect, and signifies that professional men
are very apt to talk too much of their profession.

The following is purely Scotch, for in no country
but Scotland are singed sheep heads to be met with ;
Re s like a sheep head in a pair o tangs.

* A young bullock. + Saddle for supporting panuieis.

238 REMINISCENCES OF

As sure s deeth. A common Scottish proverbial
expression to signify either the truth or certainty of
a fact, or to pledge the speaker to a performance of
his promise. In the latter sense an amusing illustra
tion of faith in the superior obligation of this
asseveration to any other, is recorded in the Eglinton
Papers* The Earl one day found a boy climbing up
a tree, and called him to come down. The boy
declined, because, he said, the Earl would thrash him.
His Lordship pledged his honour that he would not
do so. The boy replied, "I dinna ken onything
about your honour, but if you say as sure s deeth I ll
come doun."

Proverbs are sometimes local in their application.

The men o the Mearns canna do mair than they may.
Even the men of Kincardineshire can only do their
utmost a proverb intended to be highly compli
mentary to the powers of the men of that county.

Til mak Cathkin s covenant wi* you, Let abee for let
abee. This is a local saying quoted often in Hamilton.
The laird of that property had very unlike the
excellent family who have now possessed it for more
than a century been addicted to intemperance.
One of his neighbours, in order to frighten him on his
way home from his evening potations, disguised him
self, on a very wet night, and, personating the devil,
claimed a title to carry him off as his rightful
property. Contrary to all expectation, however, the
laird showed fight, and was about to commence the
onslaught, when a parley was proposed, and the issue
was, " Cathkin s covenant, Let abee for let abee."

When the castle of Stirling gets a hat, the Carse of
Corntown pays for that. This is a local proverbial
saying ; the meaning is, that when the clouds descend

* Vol. i. p. UU,

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 239

so low as to envelope Stirling Castle, a deluge of rain
may be expected in the adjacent country.

I will conclude this notice of our proverbial reminis
cences, by adding a cluster of Scottish proverbs,
selected from an excellent article on the general
subject in the North British Review of February 1858.
The reviewer designates these as "broader in their
mirth, and more caustic in their tone," than the
moral proverbial expressions of the Spanish and
Italian :

A Hate l cat maks a proud mouse.

Better a toom 2 house than an ill tenant.

Jouk 3 and let the jaw 4 gang by.

Mony ane speirs the gate 5 he kens fu wed.

The tod 6 ne er sped better than when he gaed his ain

errand.

A wilfu man should be unco wise.
He that has a meikle nose thinks ilka ane speaks o*t.
He that teaches himsell has a fule for his maister.
It s an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o\
Lippen 7 to me, but look to yoursell.
Mair whistle than woo, as the souter said when shearino

the soo.

Ye gae far about seeking the nearest.
YJll no sell your hen on a rainy day.
Yell mend when ye grow better.
Yd re nae chicken for a your cheeping

I have now adduced quite sufficient specimens to
convince those who may not have given attention to
the subject, how much of wisdom, knowledge of life,
and good feeling, are contained in these aphorisms
which compose the mass of our Scottish proverbial

1 Shy. 3 Stoop down 5 The way.

* Empty. 4 Wave. 6 Fox.

Trust to. * Chirping.

240 REMINISCENCES OF

sayings. No doubt, to many of my younger readers
proverbs are little known, and to all they are becom
ing more and more matters of reminiscence. I am
quite convinced that much of the old quaint and
characteristic Scottish talk which we are now en
deavouring to recall depended on a happy use of those
abstracts of moral sentiment. And this feeling will
be confirmed when we call to mind how often those
of the old Scottish school of character, whose conversa
tion we have ourselves admired, had most largely
availed themselves of the use of its proverbial
philosophy.

I have already spoken of (p. 16) a Scottish
peculiarity- -viz. that of naming individuals from
lands which have been possessed long by the family,
or frequently from the landed estates which they
acquire. The use of this mode of discriminating
individuals in the Highland districts is sufficiently
obvious. Where the inhabitants of a whole country
side are Campbells, or Erasers, or Gordons, nothing
could be more convenient than addressing the indi
viduals of each clan by the name of his estate.
Indeed, some years ago, any other designation, as
Mr. Campbell, Mr. Fraser, would have been resented
as an indignity. Their consequence sprang from their
possession.* But all this is fast wearing away.
The estates of old families have often changed hands,
and Highlanders are most unwilling to give the names
of old properties to new proprietors. The custom,
however, lingers amongst us, in the northern districts
especially. Farms also used to give their names to
the tenants, t I can recall an amusing instance of

* Even in Forfarshire, where Carnepies abound, we had Craigo,
Hiilnamoon, Pitarrow, etc.
t This custom is still in use in Galloway ; and "Chfilloch.,"

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 241

this practice belonging to my early days. The oldest
recollections I have are connected with the name,
the figure, the sayings and doings, of the old cow-herd
at Fasque in my father s time ; his name was Boggy,
i.e. his ordinary appellation ; his true name was Sandy
Anderson. But he was called Boggy from the
circumstance of having once held a wretched farm on
Deeside named Boggendreep. He had long left it,
and been unfortunate in it, but the name never left
him, he was Boggy to his grave. The territorial
appellation used to be reckoned complimentary, and
more respectful than Mr. or any higher title to which
the individual might be entitled. I recollect, in my
brother s time, at Fasque, his showing off some of his
home stock to Mr. Williamson, the Aberdeen butcher.
They came to a fine stot, and Sir Alexander said,
with some appearance of boast, " I was offered twenty
guineas for that ox." " Indeed, Fasque," said William
son, " ye should hae steekit your neive upo that."

Sir Walter Scott had marked in his diary a terri
torial greeting of two proprietors which had amused
him much. The laird of Kilspindie had met the
laird of Tannacby-Tulloch, and the following compli
ments passed between them : u Yer maist obedient
hummil servant, Tannachy-Tulloch." To which the
reply was, " Yer nain man, Kilspindie."

In proportion as we advance towards the Highland
district this custom of distinguishing clans or races,
and marking them out according to the district
they occupied, became more apparent. There was
the Glengarry country, the Fraser country, the Gordon
country, etc. etc. These names carried also with
them certain moral features as characteristic of

Kschonchaii," "Tonderghie," "Balsalloeli," and "Druminorral,
etc. etc., appear regularly at kirk and market.

242 REMINISCENCES OF

division. Hence the following anecdote : The morn
ing litany of an old laird of Cultoquhey, when he
took his morning draught at the cauld well, was in
these terms : " Frae the ire o the Drummonds, the
pride o the Graemes, the greed o the Campbells, and
the wind o 1 the Hurrays, guid Lord deliver us."

The Duke of Athole, having learned that Cultoquhey
was in the habit of mentioning his Grace s family in
such uncomplimentary terms, invited the humorist
to Dunkeld, for the purpose of giving him a hint to
desist from the reference. After dinner, the Duke
asked his guest what were the precise terms in which
he was in the habit of alluding to his powerful
neighbours. Cultoquhey repeated his liturgy without
a moment s hesitation. "I recommend you," said
his Grace, looking very angry, " in future to omit
my name from your morning devotions." All he got
from Cultoquhey was, "Thank ye, my Lord Duke/
taking off his glass with the utmost sangfroid.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER.

CHAPTER THE SEVENTH.

ON SCOTTISH STORIES OF WIT AND HUMOUR.

THE portion of our subject which we proposed under
the head of " Reminiscences of Scottish Stories of
Wit or Humour," yet remains to be considered.
This is closely connected with the question of Scot
tish dialect and expressions ; indeed, on some points
hardly separable, as the wit, to a great extent, pro
ceeds from the quaint and picturesque modes of ex
pressing it. But here we are met by a difficulty.
On high authority it has been declared that no such
thing as wit exists amongst us. What has no exist
ence can have no change. We cannot be said to have
lost a quality which we never possessed. Many of
my readers are no doubt familiar with what Sydney
Smith declared on this point, and certainly on the
question of wit he must be considered an authority.
He used to say (I am almost ashamed to repeat it),
" It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well
into a Scotch understanding. Their only idea of wit,
which prevails occasionally in the north, and which,
under the name of WUT, is so infinitely distressing to
people of good taste, is laughing immoderately at
stated intervals." Strange language to use of a
country which has produced Smollett, Burns, Scott,
Gait, and Wilson all remarkable for the humour
diffused through their writings ! Indeed, we may
fairly ask, have they equals in this respect amongst

244 REMINISCENCES OF

English writers ? Charles Lamb had the same notion,
or, I should rather say, the same prejudice, about
Scottish people not being accessible to wit ; and he
tells a story of what happened to himself, in cor-
roboration of the opinion. He had been asked to a
party, and one object of the invitation had been to
meet a son of Burns. When he arrived, Mr. Burns
had not made his appearance, and in the course of
conversation regarding the family of the poet, Lamb,
in his lack-a-daisical kind of manner, said, " I wish it
had been the father instead of the son ; upon which
four Scotsmen present with one voice exclaimed,
"That s impossible, for he s dead"* Now, there will
be dull men and matter-of-fact men everywhere, who
do not take a joke, or enter into a jocular allusion ;
but surely, as a general remark, this is far from being
a natural quality of our country. Sydney Smith and
Charles Lamb say so. But, at the risk of being con
sidered presumptuous, I will say I think them en
tirely mistaken. I should say that there was, on the
contrary, a strong connection between the Scottish
temperament and, call it if you like, humour, if it is
not wit. And what is the difference ? My readers
need not be afraid that they are to be led through a
labyrinth of metaphysical distinctions between wit
and humour. I have read Dr. Campbell s dissertation
on the difference, in his Philosophy of Rhetoric ; I
have read Sydney Smith s own two lectures ; but I
confess I am not much the wiser. Professors of rhe
toric, no doubt, must have such discussions ; but when

* After all, the remark may not have been so absurd then as
it appears now. Burns had not been long dead, nor was he
then so noted a character as he is now. The Scotsmen might
really have supposed a Southerner unacquainted with the fact
of the poet s death.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 246

you wish to be amused by the thing itself, it is some
what disappointing to be presented with metaphy
sical analysis. It is like instituting an examination
of the glass and cork of a champagne bottle, and a
chemical testing of the wine. In the very process
the volatile and sparkling draught which was to de
light the palate has become like ditch water, vapid
and dead. What I mean is, that, call it wit or
humour, or what you please, there is a school of Scot
tish pleasantry, amusing and characteristic beyond all
other. Don t think of analysing its nature, or the
qualities of which it is composed ; enjoy its quaint
and amusing flow of oddity and fun ; as we may, for
instance, suppose it to have flowed on that eventful
night so joyously described by Burns :

" The souter tauld his queerest stories,
The landlord s laugh was ready chorus."

Or we may think of the delight it gave the good Mr.
Balwhidder, when he tells, in his Annals of the Parish,
of some such story, that it was a "jocosity that was
just a kittle to hear." When I speak of changes in
such Scottish humour which have taken place, I refer
to a particular sort of humour, and I speak of the sort
of feeling that belongs to Scottish pleasantry, which
is sly, and cheery, and pawky. It is undoubtedly a
humour that depends a good deal upon the vehicle in
which the story is conveyed. If, as we have said,
our quaint dialect is passing away, and our national
eccentric points of character, we must expect to find
much of the peculiar humour allied with them to have
passed away also. In other departments of wit and
repartee, and acute hits at men and things, Scotsmen
(whatever Sydney Smith may have said to the con
trary) are equal to their neighbours, and, so far as I

24 REMINISCENCES OF

know, may have gained rather than lost. But this
peculiar humour of which I now speak has not, in our
day, the scope and development which were permitted
to it by the former generation. Where the tendency
exists, the exercise of it is kept down by the usages
and feelings of society. For examples of it (in its full
foree at any rate) we must go back to a race who are
departed. One remark, however, has occurred to me
in regard to the specimens we have of this kind of
humour viz. that they do not always proceed from
the personal wit or cleverness of any of the individuals
concerned in them. The amusement comes from the
circumstances, from the concurrence or combination
of the ideas, and in many cases from the mere expres
sions which describe the facts. The humour of the
narrative is unquestionable, and yet no one has tried
to be humorous. In short, it is the Scottishness that
gives the zest. The same ideas differently expounded
might have no point at all. There is, for example,
something highly original in the notions of celestial
mechanics entertained by an honest Scottish Fife lass
regarding the theory of comets. Having occasion to
go out after dark, and having observed the brilliant
comet then visible (1858), she ran in with breathless
haste to the house, calling on her fellow-servants to
" Come oot and see a new star that hasna got its tail
cuttit aff yet ! Exquisite astronomical speculation !
Stars, like puppies, are born with tails, and in due
time have them docked. Take an example of a story
where there is no display of any one s wit or humour,
and yet it is a good story, and one can t exactly say
why : An English traveller had gone on a fine High
land road so long, without having seen an indication
of fellow-travellers, that he became astonished at the
solitude of the countrv ; and no doubt before the

V

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 247

Highlands were so much frequented as they are in
our time, the roads sometimes bore a very striking
aspect of solitariness. Our traveller, at last coming
up to an old man breaking stones, asked him if
there was any traffic on this road was it at all fre
quented 1 " Ay," he said, coolly, " it s no ill at that ;
there was a cadger body yestreen, and there s yoursell
the day." No English version of the story could have
half such amusement, or have so quaint a character.
An answer even still more characteristic is recorded
to have been given by a countryman to a traveller.
Being doubtful of his way, he inquired if he were on
the right road to Dunkeld. With some of his national
inquisitiveness about strangers, the countryman asked
his inquirer where he came from. Offended at the
liberty, as he considered it, he sharply reminded the
man that where he came from was nothing to him ;
but all the answer he got was the quiet rejoinder,
" Indeed, it s just as little to me whar ye re gaen."
A friend has told me of an answer highly characteristic
of this dry and unconcerned quality which he heard
given to a fellow-traveller. A gentleman sitting
opposite to him in the stage-coach at Berwick com
plained bitterly that the cushion on which he sat was
quite wet. On looking up to the roof he saw a hole
through which the rain descended copiously, and at
once accounted for the mischief. He called for the
coachman, and in great wrath reproached him with
the evil under which he suffered, and pointed to the
hole which was the cause of it. All the satisfaction,
however, that he got was the quiet unmoved reply,
" Ay, mony a ane has complained o that hole." Another
anecdote I heard from a gentleman who vouched for
the truth, which is just a case where the narrative
has its humour not from the wit which is displayed

248 REMINISCENCES OP

but from that dry matter-of-fact view of things peculiar
to some of our countrymen. The friend of my inform
ant was walking in a street of Perth, when, to his
horror, he saw a workman fall from a roof where he
was mending slates, right upon the pavement. By
extraordinary good fortune he was not killed, and on
the gentleman going up to his assistance, and exclaim
ing, with much excitement, " God bless me, are you
much hurt ?" all the answer he got was the cool re
joinder, " On the contrary, sir." A similar matter-of
fact answer was made by one of the old race of
Montrose humorists. He was coming out of church,
and in the press of the kirk skailing, a young man
thoughtlessly trod on the old gentleman s toe, which
was tender with corns. He hastened to apologise,
saying, " I am very sorry, sir ; I beg your pardon."
The only acknowledgment of which was the dry
answer, "And ye ve as muckle need, sir." An old
man marrying a very young wife, his friends rallied
him on the inequality of their ages. " She will be
near me, 7 he replied, " to close my een." " Weel,"
remarked another of the party, " I ve had twa wives,
and they opened my een"

One of the best specimens of cool Scottish matter-
of-fact view of things has been supplied by a kind
correspondent, who narrates it from his own personal
recollection.

The back windows of the house where he was
brought up looked upon the Greyfriars Church that
was burnt down. On the Sunday morning in which
that event took place, as they were all preparing to
go to church, the flames began to burst forth ; the
young people screamed from the back part of the
house, " A fire ! A fire ! and all was in a state of
confusion and alarm. The housemaid was not at

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 249

home, it being her turn for the Sunday " out." Kitty,
the cook, was taking her place, and performing her
duties. The old woman was always very particular
on the subject of her responsibility on such occasions,
and came panting and hobbling up stairs from the
lower regions, and exclaimed, " Oh, what is t. what
is U" "0 Kitty, look here, the Greyfriars Church
is on fire ! "Is that a , Miss 1 What a fricht ye
geed me ! I thought ye said the parlour fire was out."

In connection with the subject of Scottish toasts I
am supplied by a first-rate Highland authority of one
of the most graceful and crushing replies of a lady to
what was intended as a sarcastic compliment and
smart saying at her expense.

About the beginning of the present century the
then Campbell of Combie, on Loch Awe side, in
Argyleshire, was a man of extraordinary character,
and of great physical strength, and such swiftness of
foot that it is said he could " catch the best tup on
the hill." He also looked upon himself as a "pretty
man," though in this he was singular ; also, it was
more than whispered that the laird was not remark
able for his principles of honesty. There also lived
in the same district a Miss MacNabb of Bar-a -Chais-
tril, a lady who, before she had passed the zenith of
life, had never been remarkable for her beauty the
contrary even had passed into a proverb, while she
was in her teens ; but, to counterbalance this defect-
in external qualities, nature had endowed her with
great benevolence, while she was renowned for her
probity. One day the Laird of Combie, who piqued
himself on his bon-mvts, was, as frequently happened.
a guest of Miss MacNabb s, and after dinner several
toasts had gone round as usual, Combie rose with
great solemnity and addressing the lady of the house

250 REMINISCENCES OF

requested an especial bumper, insisting on all the
guests to fill to the brim. He then rose and said,
addressing himself to Miss MacNabb, " I propose the
old Scottish toast of * Honest men and bonnie lassies/ "
and bowing to the hostess, he resumed his seat. The
lady returned his bow with her usual amiable smile,
and taking up her glass, replied, " Weel, Combie, I
am sure we may drink that, for it will neither apply
to you nor me. 1

An amusing example of a quiet cool view of a
pecuniary transaction happened to my father whilst
doing the business of the rent-day. He was receiving
sums of money from the tenants in succession. After
looking over a bundle of notes which he had just
received from one of them, a well-known character,
he said in banter, " James, the notes are not correct."
To which the farmer, who was much of a humorist,
drily answered, "I dinna ken what they may be noo;
but they were a richt afore ye had your fingers in
amang em." An English farmer would hardly have
spoken thus to his landlord. The Duke of Buccleuch
told me an answer very quaintly Scotch, given to
his grandmother by a farmer of the old school. A
dinner was given to some tenantry of the vast estates
of the family, in the time of Duke Henry. His
Duchess (the last descendant of the Dukes of Mon
tague) always appeared at table on such occasions,
and did the honours with that mixture of dignity
and of affable kindness for which she was so remark
able. Abundant hospitality was shown to all the
guests. The Duchess, having observed one of the
tenants supplied with boiled beef from a noble round,
proposed that he should add a supply of cabbage : on
his declining, the Duchess good-hum ouredly remarked,
" Why, boiled beef and l greens seem so naturally to

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 251

go together, I wonder you don t take it." To which
the honest farmer objected, "Ah, but your Grace
maun alloo it s a vary windy vegetable," in delicate
allusion to the flatulent quality of the esculent.
Similar to this was the naive answer of a farmer on
the occasion of a rent-day. The lady of the house
asked him if he would take some " rhubarb-tart," to
which he innocently answered, " Thank ye, mem, I
dinna need it."

A Highland minister, dining with the patroness of
his parish, ventured to say, " I ll thank your leddyship
for a little more of that apple-tart ; " " It s not apple-
tart, it s rhubarb," replied the lady. " Rhubarb !
repeated the other, with a look of surprise and alarm,
and immediately called out to the attendant, " Freend,
I ll thank you for a dram."

A characteristic table anecdote I can recall amongst
Deeside reminiscences. My aunt, Mrs. Forbes, had
entertained an honest Scotch farmer at Banchory
Lodge ; a draught of ale had been offered to him, which
he had quickly despatched. My aunt observing that
the glass had no head or effervescence, observed, that
she feared it had not been a good bottle, " Oh, vera
gude, maam, it s just some strong o the aaple," an
expression which indicates the beer to be somewhat
sharp or pungent. It turned out to have been a
bottle of vinegar decanted by mistake.

An amusing instance of an old Scottish farmer being
unacquainted with table refinements occurred at a ten
ant s dinner in the north. The servant had put down
beside him a dessert spoon when he had been helped
to pudding. This seemed quite superfluous to the
honest man, who exclaimed, " Tak it awa, my man ;
my mou s as big for puddin as it is for kail."

Amongst the lower orders in Scotland humour is

252 REMINISCENCES OF

found, occasionally, very rich in mere children, and 1
recollect a remarkable illustration of this early native
humour occurring in a family in Forfarshire, where I
used in former days to be very intimate. A wretched
woman, who used to traverse the country as a beggar
or tramp, left a poor, half-starved little girl by the
road-side, near the house of my friends. Always ready
to assist the unfortunate, they took charge of the child,
and as she grew a little older they began to give her
some education, and taught her to read. She soon
made some progress in reading the Bible, and the native
odd humour of which we speak began soon to show
itself. On reading the passage, which began, " Then
David rose," etc., the child stopped, and looked up
knowingly, to say, " I ken wha that was," and on being
asked what she could mean, she confidently said,
" That s David Eowse the pleuchman." And again,
reading the passage where the words occur, " He took
Paul s girdle," the child said, with much confidence,
" I ken what he took that for," and on being asked
to explain, replied at once, " To bake s bannocks on ;"
" girdle being in the north the name for the iron
plate hung over the fire for baking oat cakes or
bannocks.

To a distinguished member of the Church of Scot
land I am indebted for an excellent story of quaint
child humour, which he had from the lips of an old
woman who related the story of herself: When a
girl of eight years of age she was taken by her grand
mother to church. The parish minister was not only
a long preacher, but, as the custom was, delivered two
sermons on the Sabbath day without any interval, and
thus saved the parishioners the two journeys to church.
Elizabeth was sufficiently wearied before the close of
the first discourse ; but when, after singing and prayer.

THE BONNET LAIRD

From a water-colour drawing by

HENRY W. KERR,
-I.R.S.A., R.S.JJ:

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER.

the good minister opened the Bible, read a second
text, and prepared to give a second sermon, the young
girl, being both tired and hungry, lost all patience,
and cried out to her grandmother, to the no small
amusement of those who were so near as to hear her,
" Come awa, granny, and gang hame ; this is a lang
grace, and nae meat."

A most amusing account of child humour used to
be narrated by an old Mr. Campbell of Jura, who told
the story of his own son. It seems the boy was much
spoilt by indulgence. In fact, the parents were scarce
able to refuse him anything he demanded. He was
in the drawing-room on one occasion when dinner
was announced, and on being ordered up to the
nursery he insisted on going down to dinner with the
company. His mother was for refusal, but the child
persevered, and kept saying, " If I dinna gang, I ll tell
thon." His father then, for peace sake, let him go.
So he went and sat at table by his mother. When
he found every one getting soup and himself omitted,
he demanded soup, and repeated, " If I dinna get it,
I ll tell thon." Well, soup was given, and various
other things yielded to his importunities, to which he
always added the usual threat of "telling thon." At
last, when it came to wine, his mother stood firm, and
positively refused, as " a bad thing for little boys," and
so on. He then became more vociferous than ever
about "telling thon ;" and as still he was refused, he
declared, " Now, I will tell thon," and at last roared out,
" Ma new breeks were made oot o 1 the auld curtains ! "

The Rev. Mr. Agnew has kindly sent me an
anecdote which supplies an example of cleverness in a
Scottish boy, and which rivals, as he observes, the
smartness of the London boy, termed by Punch the
" Street boy." It has also a touch of quiet, sly Scottish

254 REMINISCENCES OF

humour. A gentleman, editor of a Glasgow paper,
well known as a bon-vivant and epicure, and by no
means a popular character, was returning one day from
his office, and met near his own house a boy carrying
a splendid salmon. The gentleman looked at it with
longing eyes, and addressed the boy " Where are
you taking that salmon, my boy ? Boy " Do you

ken gin ae Mr. (giving the gentleman s name)

lives hereabout 1 Mr. " Yes, oh yes ; his

house is here just by." Boy (looking sly) " Weel,
it s no for him." Of this same Scottish boy cleverness,
the Eev. Mr. M Lure of Marykirk kindly supplies a
capital specimen, in an instance which occurred at
what is called the market, at Fettercairn, where there
is always a hiring of servants. A boy was asked by
a farmer if he wished to be engaged. " Ou ay," said
the youth. ; Wha was your last maister 1 was the
next question. " Oh, yonder him," said the boy; and
then agreeing to wait where he was standing with
some other servants till the inquirer should return
from examination of the boy s late employer. The
farmer returned and accosted the boy, " Weel, lathie,
I ve been speerin about ye, an I m tae tak ye." " Ou
ay," was the prompt reply, "an I ve been speerin
about ye tae, an I rn nae gaen."

We could not have had a better specimen of the cool
self-sufficiency of these young domestics of the Scottish
type than the following : I heard of a boy making a
very cool and determined exit from the house into
which he had very lately been introduced. He had
been told that he should be dismissed if he broke any
of the china that was under his charge. On the
morning of a great dinner-party he was entrusted
(rather rashly) with a great load of plates, which he
was to carry up-stairs from the kitchen to the dining-

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 255

room, and which were piled up, and rested upon his two
hands. In going up-stairs his foot slipped, and the
plates were broken to atoms. He at once went up to
the drawing-room, put his head in at the door, and
shouted : " The plates are a smashed, and I m

awa.

A facetious and acute friend, who rather leans to
the Sydney Smith view of Scottish wit, declares that
all our humorous stories are about lairds, and lairds
that are drunk. Of such stories there are certainly
not a few. The following is one of the best belong
ing to my part of the country, and to many persons
I should perhaps apologise for introducing it at all.
The story has been told of various parties and
localities, but no doubt the genuine laird was a laird
of Balnamoon (pronounced in the country Bonny-
moon), and that the locality was a wild tract of land,
not far from his place, called Munrimmon Moor.
Balnamoon had been dining out in the neighbourhood,
where, by mistake, they had put down to him after
dinner cherry brandy, instead of port wine, his usual
beverage. The rich flavour and strength so pleased
him that, having tasted it, he would have nothing
else. On rising from table, therefore, the laird would
be more affected by his drink than if he had taken
his ordinary allowance of port. His servant Harry
or Hairy was to drive him home in a gig, or whisky
as it was called, the usual open carriage of the time.
On crossing the moor, however, whether from greater
exposure to the blast, or from the laird s unsteadiness
of head, his hat and wig came off and fell upon the
ground. Harry got out to pick them up and restore
them to his master. The laird was satisfied with the
hat, but demurred at the wig. " It s no my wig,
Hairy, lad ; it s no my wig," and refused to havo

256 REMINISCENCES OF

anything to do with it. Hairy lost his patience, and,
anxious to get home, remonstrated with his master,
" Ye d better tak it, sir, for there s nae waile* o wigs
on Munrimmon Moor." The humour of the argument
is exquisite, putting to the laird in his unreasonable
objection the sly insinuation that in such a locality,
if he did not take this wig, he was not likely to find
another. Then, what a rich expression, " waile o
wigs." In English what is it 1 ? "A choice of per
ukes ; which is nothing comparable to the " waile o
wigs." I ought to mention also an amusing sequel
to the story, viz. in what happened after the affair of
the wig had been settled, and the laird had consented
to return home. When the whisky drove up to the
door, Hairy, sitting in front, told the servant who
came "to tak out the laird." No laird was to be
seen ; and it appeared that he had fallen out on the
moor without Hairy observing it. Of course, they
went back, and, picking him up, brought him safe
home. A neighbouring laird having called a few
days after, and having referred to the accident,
Balnamoon quietly added, " Indeed, I maun hae a
lume t that ll hand in."

The laird of Balnamoon was a truly eccentric
character. He joined with his drinking propensities
a great zeal for the Episcopal church, the service of
which he read to his own family with much solemnity
and earnestness of manner. Two gentlemen, one of
them a stranger to the country, having called pretty
early one Sunday morning, Balnamoon invited them
to dinner, and as they accepted the invitation, they
remained and joined in the forenoon devotional exer
cises conducted by Balnamoon himself. The stranger
was much impressed with the laird s performance of

* Choice. t A

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 257

the service, and during a walk which they took before
dinner, mentioned to his friend how highly he es
teemed the religious deportment of their host. The
gentleman said nothing, but smiled to himself at the
scene which he anticipated was to follow. After
dinner, Balnamoon set himself, according to the cus
tom of old hospitable Scottish hosts, to make his
guests as drunk as possible. The result was, that the
party spent the evening in a riotous debauch, and
were carried to bed by the servants at a late hour.
Next day, when they had taken leave and left the
house, the gentleman who had introduced his friend
asked him what he thought of their entertainer
" Why, really," he replied, with evident astonishment,
" sic a speat o praying, and sic a speat o drinking, I
never knew in the whole course o my life."

Lady Dalhousie, mother, I mean, of the late dis
tinguished Marquis of Dalhousie, used to tell a cha
racteristic anecdote of her day. But here, on mention
of the name Christian, Countess of Dalhousie, may I
pause a moment to recall the memory of one who was
a very remarkable person. She was for many years,
to me and mine, a sincere, and true and valuable
friend. By an awful dispensation of God s providence
her death happened instantaneously under my roof in
1839. Lady Dalhousie was eminently distinguished
for a fund of the most varied knowledge, for a clear
and powerful judgment, for acute observation, a kind
heart, a brilliant wit. Her story was thus: A
Scottish judge, somewhat in the predicament of the
Laird of Balnamoon, had dined at Coalstoun with her
father Charles Brown, an advocate, and son of George
Brown, who sat in the Supreme Court as a judge with
the title of Lord Coalstoun. The party had been
convivial, as we know parties of the highest legal

258 REMINISCENCES OF

characters often were in those days. When breaking
up and going to the drawing-room, one of them, not
seeing his way very clearly, stepped out of the dining-
room window, which was open to the summer air.
The ground at Coalstoun sloping off from the house
behind, the worthy judge got a great fall, and rolled
down the bank. He contrived, however, as tipsy
men generally do, to regain his legs, and was able to
reach the drawing-room. The first remark he made
was an innocent remonstrance with his friend the
host, " Od, Charlie Brown, what gars ye hae sic lang
steps to your front door 1

On Deeside, where many original stories had their
origin, I recollect hearing several of an excellent and
worthy, but very simple-minded man, the Laird of
Craigmyle. On one occasion, when the beautiful and
clever Jane, Duchess of Gordon, was scouring through
the country, intent upon some of those electioneering
schemes which often occupied her fertile imagination
and active energies, she came to call at Craigmyle,
and having heard that the laird was making bricks
on the property, for the purpose of building a new
garden wall, with her usual tact she opened the sub
ject, and kindly asked, " Well, Mr. Gordon, and how
do your bricks come on] Good Craigmyle s thoughts
were much occupied with a new leather portion of his
dress, which had been lately constructed, so, looking
down on his nether garments, he said in pure Aber
deen dialect, "Muckle obleeged to yer Grace, the
breeks war sum ticht at first, but they are deeing
weel eneuch noo."

The last Laird of Macnab, before the clan finally
broke up and emigrated to Canada, was a well-known
character in the country, and being poor, used to ride
a,bout on a most wretched horse, which gave occasion

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 259

to many jibes at his expense. The laird was in the
constant habit of riding up from the country to attend
the Musselburgh races. A young wit, by way of
playing him off on the race-course, asked him, in a
contemptuous tone, " Is that the same horse you had
last year, laird 1 " " Na," said the laird, brandishing
his whip in the interrogator s face in so emphatic a
manner as to preclude further questioning, " na ; but
it s the same wimp" In those days, as might be ex
pected, people were not nice in expressions of their
dislike of persons and measures. If there be not
more charity in society than of old, there is certainly
more courtesy. I have, from a friend, an anecdote
illustrative of this remark, in regard to feelings
exercised towards an unpopular laird. In the neigh
bourhood of Banff, in Forfarshire, the seat of a very
ancient branch of the Bamsays, lived a proprietor
who bore the appellation of Corb, from the name of
his estate. This family has passed away, and its
property merged in Banff. The laird was intensely
disliked in the neighbourhood. Sir George Ramsay
was, on the other hand, universally popular and re
spected. On one occasion, Sir George, in passing a
morass in his own neighbourhood, had missed the road
and fallen into a bog to an alarming depth. To his
great relief, he saw a passenger coming along the path,
which was at no great distance. He called loudly for
his help, but the man took no notice. Poor Sir
George felt himself sinking, and redoubled his cries
for assistance ; all at once the passenger rushed for
ward, carefully extricated him from his perilous posi
tion, and politely apologised for his first neglect of his
appeal, adding, as his reason, " Indeed, Sir George, I
thought it was Corb !" evidently meaning that Tind it
been Corb, he must have taken his chance for him.

260 REMINISCENCES OF

In Lanarkshire there lived a sma sma laird named
Hamilton, who was noted for his eccentricity. On
one occasion, a neighbour waited on him, and requested
his name as an accommodation to a " bit bill for
twenty pounds at throe months date, which led to
the following characteristic and truly Scottish colloquy :
" Na, na, I canna do that." "What for no, laird]
ye hae dune the same thing for ithers." "Ay, ay,
Tammas, but there s wheels within wheels ye ken
naething about ; I canna do t." " It s a sma affair to
refuse me, laird." " Weel, ye see, Tammas, if I was to
pit my name till t, ye wad get the siller frae the bank,
and when the time came round, ye wadna be ready,
and I wad hae to pay t ; sae then you and me wad
quarrel ; sae we may just as weel quarrel the noo, as
lang s the siller s in ma pouch." On one occasion,
Hamilton having business with the late Duke of
Hamilton at Hamilton Palace, the Duke politely
asked him to lunch. A liveried servant waited upon
them, and was most assiduous in his attentions to the
Duke and his guest. At last our eccentric friend lost
patience, and looking at the servant, addressed him
thus, " What the deil for are ye dance, dancing, about
the room that gait 1 can ye no draw in your chair
and sit down 1 I m sure there s plenty on the table for
three"

As a specimen of the old-fashioned Laird, now
become a Reminiscence, who adhered pertinaciously
to old Scottish usages, and to the old Scottish dialect,
I cannot, I am sure, adduce a better specimen than
Mr. Fergusson of Pitfour, to whose servant I have
already referred. He was always called Pitfour. from
the name of his property in Aberdeenshire. He must
have died fifty years ago. He was for many years
M.P. for the county of Aberdeen, and I have reason to

SCOTTISH LIFE d- CHARACTER. 261

believe that he made the enlightened parliamentary de
claration which has been given to others : He said
"he had often heard speeches in the House, which
had changed his opinion, but none that had ever
changed his vote." I recollect hearing of his dining
in London sixty years ago, at the house of a Scottish
friend, where there was a swell party, and Pitfour
was introduced as a great northern proprietor, and
county M.P. A fashionable lady patronised him
graciously, and took great charge of him, and asked
him about his estates. Pitfour was very dry and
sparing in his communications, as for example, " What
does your home farm chiefly produce, Mr. Fergusson 1 *
Answer, " Girss." " I beg your pardon, Mr. Fergus-
son, what does your home farm produce 1 All she
could extract was, " Girss."

Of another laird, whom I heard often spoken of in
old times, an anecdote was told strongly Scottish.
Our friend had much difficulty (as many worthy
lairds have had) in meeting the claims of those two
woeful periods of the year called with us in Scotland
the "tarmes." He had been employing for some
time as workman a stranger from the south on some
house repairs, of the not uncommon name in England
of Christmas. His servant early one morning called
out at the laird s door in great excitement that
" Christmas had run away, and nobody knew where
he had gone." He coolly turned in his bed with the
ejaculation, " I only wish he had taken Whitsunday
and Martinmas along with him." I do not know a
better illustration of quiet, shrewd, and acute Scottish
humour than the following little story, which au
esteemed correspondent mentions having heard from
his father when a boy, relating to a former Duke of
Athole, who had no family of his own, and whom he

2 A

262 REMINISCENCES OF

mentions as having remembered very well : He met,
one morning, one of his cottars or gardeners, whose
wife he knew to be in the hopeful ivay. Asking him
" how Marget was the day," the man replied that she
had that morning given him twins. Upon which the
Duke said, " Weel, Donald ; ye ken the Almighty
never sends bairns without the meat." " That may
be, your Grace," said Donald ; " but whiles I think
that Providence maks a mistak in thae matters, and
sends the bairns to ae hoose and the meat to
anither ! The Duke took the hint, and sent him a
cow with calf the following morning.

I have heard of an amusing scene between a laird,
noted for his meanness, and a wandering sort of Edie
Ochiltree, a well-known itinerant w r ho lived by his
wits and what he could pick up in his rounds amongst
the houses through the country. The laird, having
seen the beggar sit down near his gate to examine
the contents of his pock or wallet, conjectured that
he had come from his house, and so drew near to see
what he had carried off. As the laird was keenly
investigating the mendicant s spoils, his quick eye
detected some bones on which there remained more
meat than should have been allowed to leave his
kitchen. Accordingly he pounced upon the bones,
declaring he had been robbed, and insisted on the
beggar returning to the house and giving back the
spoil. He was, however, prepared for the attack,
and sturdily defended his property, boldly asserting,
" Na, na, laird, thae are no Tod-brae banes ; they are
Inch-byre banes, and nane o your honour s" mean
ing that he had received these bones at the house of
a neighbour of a more liberal character. The beggar s
professional discrimination between the merits of the
bones of the two mansions, and his pertinacious de-

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 263

fence of his own property, would have been most
amusing to a bystander.

I have, however, a reverse story, in which the
beggar is quietly silenced by the proprietor. A noble
lord, some generations back, well known for his frugal
habits, had just picked up a small copper coin in his
own avenue, and had been observed by one of the
itinerating mendicant race, who, grudging the transfer
of the piece into the peer s pocket, exclaimed, " 0,
gie t to me, my lord ; to which the quiet answer
was, " Na, na ; fin a fardin for yersell, puir body."

There are always pointed anecdotes against houses
wanting in a liberal and hospitable expenditure in
Scotland. Thus, we have heard of a master leaving
such a mansion, and taxing his servant with being
drunk, which he had too often been after other
country visits. On this occasion, however, he was
innocent of the charge, for he had not the opportunity
to transgress. So, when his master asserted, " Jemmy,
you are drunk ! Jemmy very quietly answered,
"Indeed, sir, I wish I wur." At another mansion,
notorious for scanty fare, a gentleman was inquiring
of the gardener about a dog which some time ago he
had given to the laird. The gardener showed him a
lank greyhound, on which the gentleman said, " No,
no ; the dog I gave your master was a mastiff, not a
greyhound ; " to which the gardener quietly answered,
" Indeed, ony dog micht sune become a greyhound by
stopping here."

From a friend and relative, a minister of the
Established Church of Scotland, I used to hear many
characteristic stories. He had a curious vein of this
sort of humour in himself, besides what he brought
out from others. One of his peculiarities was a mor
tal antipathy to the whole French nation, whom he

264 REMINISCENCES OF

frequently abused in no measured terms. At the
same time he had great relish of a glass of claret,
which he considered the prince of all social beverages.
So he usually finished off his antigallican tirades,
with the reservation, " But the bodies brew the braw
drink." He lived amongst his own people, and knew
well the habits and peculiarities of a race gone by.
He had many stories connected with the pastoral
relation between minister and people, and all such
stcries are curious, not merely for their amusement,
but from the illustration they afford us of that
peculiar Scottish humour which we are now describ
ing. He had himself, when a very young boy, before
he came up to the Edinburgh High School, been at
the parochial school where he resided, and which,
like many others, at that period, had a considerable
reputation for the skill and scholarship of the master.
He used to describe school scenes rather different, I
euspect, from school scenes in our day. One boy,
on coming late, explained that the cause had been a
regular pitched battle between his parents, with the
details of which he amused his school-fellows ; and
he described the battle in vivid and Scottish Homeric
terms: "And eh, as they faucht, and they faucht,"
adding, however, with much complacency, " but my
minnie dang, she did tho ."

There was a style of conversation and quaint modes
of expression between ministers and their people at
that time, which, I suppose, would seem strange to
the present generation ; as, for example, I recollect a
conversation between this relative and one of his
parishioners of this description.- -It had been a very
wet and unpromising autumn. The minister met a
certain Janet of his flock, and accosted her very
kindly. He remarked, " Bad prospect for the har st

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 265

(harvest), Janet, this wet." Janet " Indeed, sir, I ve
seen as muckle as that there ll be nae har st the year."
Minister " Na, Janet, deil as muckle as that t evei
you saw."

As I have said, he was a clergyman of the Estab
lished Church, and had many stories about ministers
and people, arising out of his own pastoral experience,
or the experience of friends and neighbours. He was
much delighted with the not very refined rebuke
which one of his own farmers had given to a young
minister who had for some Sundays occupied his
pulpit. The young man had dined with the farmer
in the afternoon when services were over, and his
appetite was so sharp, that he thought it necessary to
apologise to his host for eating so substantial a dinner.
"You see," he said, "I am always very hungry
after preaching." The old gentleman, not much
admiring the youth s pulpit ministrations, having
heard this apology two or three times, at last replied
sarcastically, " Indeed, sir, I m no surprised at it, con
sidering the trash that comes aff your stamach in the
morning."

What I wish to keep in view is, to distinguish
anecdotes which are amusing on account merely of
the expressions used, from those which have real wit
and humour combined, with the purely Scottish vehicle
in which they are conveyed.

Of this class I could not have a better specimen to
commence with than the defence of the liturgy of his
church, by John Skinner of Langside, of whom pre
vious mention has been made. It is witty and clever.

Being present at a party (I think at Lord Forbes s),
where were also several ministers of the Establish
ment, the conversation over their wine turned, among
other things, on the Prayer Book. Skinner took no

266 REMINISCENCES OF

part in it, till one minister remarked to him, " The
great faut I hae to your prayer-book is that ye use
the Lord s Prayer sae aften, ye juist mak a dishclout
o t." Skinner s rejoinder was, "Verra true! Ay,
man, we mak a dishclout o t, an we wrmg t, an we
wring t, an we wring t, an the bree * o t washes a the
lave o our prayers."

No one, I think, could deny the wit of the two fol
lowing rejoinders.

A ruling elder of a country parish in the west of
Scotland was well known in the district as a shrewd
and ready-witted man. He received many a visit from
persons who liked a banter, or to hear a good joke.
Three young students gave him a call in order to have
a little amusement at the elder s expense. On ap
proaching him, one of them saluted him, " Well,
Father Abraham, how are you to-day 1 " You are
wrong," said the other, " this is old Father Isaac."
" Tuts," said the third, " you are both mistaken ; this
is old Father Jacob." David looked at the young men,
and in his own way replied, " I am neither old Father
Abraham, nor old Father Isaac, nor old Father Jacob ;
but I am Saul the son of Kish, seeking his father s
asses, and lo ! I ve found three o them."

For many years the Baptist community of Dun-
fermline was presided over by brothers David Dewar
and James Inglis, the latter of whom has just re
cently gone to his reward. Brother David was a
plain, honest, straightforward man, who never hesi
tated to express his convictions, however unpalatable
they might be to others. Being elected a member of
the Prison Board, he was called upon to give his vote
in the choice of a chaplain from the licentiates of the
Established Kirk. The party who had gained the con-

* Juice.

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 267

fidence of the Board had proved rather an indifferent
preacher in a charge to which he had previously been
appointed ; and on David being asked to signify his
assent to the choice of the Board, he said, " Weel, I ve
no objections to the man, for I understand he has
preached a kirk toom (empty) already, and if he be as
successful in the jail, he ll maybe preach it vawcant
as weel."

From Mr. Inglis, clerk of the Court of Session, I
have the following Scottish rejoinder :

"I recollect my father relating a conversation be
tween a Perthshire laird and one of his tenants. The
laird s eldest son was rather a simpleton. Laird says,
1 1 am going to send the young laird abroad. What
for] asks the tenant ; answered, To see the world ;
tenant replies, But, lord-sake, laird, will no the world
see him ?

An admirably humorous reply is recorded of a
Scotch officer, well known and esteemed in his day for
mirth and humour. Captain Innes of the Guards
(usually called Jock Innes by his contemporaries) was
with others getting ready for Flushing or some of
those expeditions of the beginning of the great war.
His commanding officer (Lord Huntly, my correspond
ent thinks) remonstrated about the badness of his
hat, and recommended a new one " Na, na ! bide a
wee," said Jock; "where we re gain faith there ll
soon be mair hats nor heads. 11

I recollect being much amused with a Scottish refer
ence of this kind in the heart of London. Many years
ago a Scotch party had dined at Simpson s famous
beef-steak house in the Strand. On coming away
some of the party could not find their hats, and my
uncle was jocularly asking the waiter, whom he knew
to be a Deeside man, " Whar are our bonnets, Jeems V 9

268 REMINISCENCES OF

To which he replied, " Deed, I mind the day when
I had neither hat nor bonnet."

There is an odd and original way of putting a matter
sometimes in Scotch people, which is irresistibly comic,
although by the persons nothing comic is intended ;
as for example, when in 1786 Edinburgh was illumi
nated on account of the recovery of George III. from
severe illness. In a house where great preparation
was going on for the occasion, by getting the candles
fixed in tin sconces, an old nurse of the family, looking
on, exclaimed, " Ay, it s a braw time for the cannel-
makers when the king is sick, honest man ! :

Scottish farmers of the old school were a shrewd
and humorous race, sometimes not indisposed to look
with a little jealousy upon their younger brethren,
who, on their part, perhaps, showed their contempt for
the old-fashioned ways. I take the following example
from the columns of the Peterhead Sentinel, just as it
appeared June 14, 1861 :

" AN ANECDOTE FOR DEAN EAMSAY. The follow
ing characteristic and amusing anecdote was communi- ,
cated to us the other day by a gentleman who hap
pened to be a party to the conversation detailed below.
This gentleman was passing along a road not a hun
dred miles from Peterhead one day this week. Two
different farms skirt the separate sides of the turnpike,
one of which is rented by a farmer who cultivates
his land according to the most advanced system of
agriculture, and the other of which is farmed by a
gentleman of the old school. Our informant met the
latter worthy at the side of the turnpike opposite his
neighbour s farm, and seeing a fine crop of wheat
upon what appeared to be [and really was] very thin
and poor land, asked, * When was that wheat sown?
I dinna ken/ replied the gentleman of the old

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 269

school, with a sort of half-indifference, half-contempt,
But isn t it strange that such a fine crop should be
reared on such bad land? asked our informant. 0,
na nae at a deevil thank it ; a gravesteen wad gie
guid bree * gin ye gied it plenty o butter !

But perhaps the best anecdote illustrative of the
keen shrewdness of the Scottish farmer is related by
Mr. Boyd t in one of his charming series of papers,
reprinted from Presets Magazine. " A friend of mine,
a country parson, on first going to his parish, resolved
to farm his glebe for himself. A neighbouring farmer
kindly offered the parson to plough one of his fields.
The farmer said that he would send his man John
with a plough and a pair of horses on a certain day
If ye re goin about, said the farmer to the clergyman,
John will be unco weel pleased if you speak to him,
and say it s a fine day, or the like o that ; but dinna,
said the farmer, with much solemnity, Minna say
onything to him about ploughin and sawin ; for John/
he added, is a stupid body, but he has been ploughin
and sawin a his life, and he ll see in a minute that
ye ken naething aboot ploughin and sawin . And
then, said the sagacious old farmer, with much earnest
ness, * if he comes to think that ye ken naething aboot
ploughin and sawin , he ll think that ye ken naething
aboot onything !

The following is rather an original commentary, by
a layman, upon clerical incomes: A relative of mine
going to church with a Forfarshire farmer, one of the
old school, asked him the amount of the minister s
stipend. He said, " Od, it s a gude ane the maist
part of 300 a year." " Well," said my relative, "many
of these Scotch ministers are but poorly off." They ve
* Broth. t Rev. A. K, H. Boyd.

270 REMINISCENCES OF

eneuch, sir, they ve eneuch ; if they d mair, it would
want a their time to the spendin o t."

Scotch gamekeepers had often much dry quiet
humour. I was much amused by the answer of ono
of those under the following circumstances : An
Ayrshire gentleman, who was from the first a very
bad shot, or rather no shot at all, when out on 1st of
September, having failed, time after time, in bringing
down a single bird, had at last pointed out to him by
his attendant bag-carrier a large covey, thick and close
on the stubbles. " Noo, Mr. Jeems, let drive at them,
just as they are!" Mr. Jeems did let drive, as ad
vised, but not a feather remained to testify the shot.
All flew off, safe and sound " Hech, sir (remarks his
friend), but ye ve made thae yins shift their quarters"

The two following anecdotes of rejoinders from
Scottish guidwives, and for which I am indebted, as
for many other kind communications, to the Eev.
Mr. Blair of Dunblane, appear to me as good examples
of the peculiar Scottish pithy phraseology which we
refer to, as any that I have met with.

An old lady from whom the "Great Unknown
had derived many an ancient tale, was waited upon
one day by the author of "Waverley." On his
endeavouring to give the authorship the go-by, the
old dame protested, "D ye think, sir, I dinna ken
my ain groats in ither folk s kail?"*

A conceited packman called at a farm-house in the
west of Scotland, in order to dispose of some of his
wares. The goodwife was offended by his southern
accent, and his high talk about York, London, and
other big places. " An whaur come ye frae yersell ?
was the question of the guidwife. " Ou, I am from

* I believe the lady was Mrs. Murray Keith of Ravelston,
with whom Sir Walter had in early life much intercourse.

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 271

the Border." "The Border oh! I thocht that j
for we aye think the selvidge is the wakest bit o the
wab ! "

The following is a good specimen of ready Scotch
humorous reply, by a master to his discontented
workman, and in which he turned the tables upon
him, in his reference to Scripture. In a town of one

of the central counties a Mr. J carried on, about

a century ago, a very extensive business in the linen
manufacture. Although strikes were then unknown
among the labouring classes, the spirit from which
these take their rise has no doubt at all times existed.

Among Mr. J s many workmen, one had given

him constant annoyance for years, from his discontented
and argumentative spirit. Insisting one day on get
ting something or other which his master thought
most unreasonable, and refused to give in to, he at
last submitted, with a bad grace, saying, " You re nae
better than Pharaoh, sir, forcin puir folk to mak
bricks without straw." "Well, Saunders," quietly
rejoined his master, " if I m nae better than Pharaoh
in one respect, I ll be better in another, for III no
hinder ye going to the wilderness whenever you choose."

Persons who are curious in Scottish stories of wit
and humour speak much of the sayings of a certain
" Laird of Logan," who was a well-known character
in the West of Scotland. This same Laird of Logan
was at a meeting of the heritors of Cumnock, where
a proposal was made to erect a new churchyard wall.
He met the proposition with the dry remark, " I
never big dykes till the tenants complain." Calling
one day for a gill of whisky in a public-house, the
Laird was asked if he would take any water with the
spirit. "Na, na," replied he, "I would rather ye
would tak the water out o t."

272 REMINISCENCES OF

The laird sold a horse to an Englishman, saying
" You buy him as you see him ; but he s an honest
beast." The purchaser took him home. In a few
days he stumbled and fell, to the damage of his own
knees and his rider s head. On this the angry
purchaser remonstrated with the laird, whose reply
was, " Well, sir, I told ye he was an honest beast ;
many a time has he threatened to come down with
me, and I kenned he would keep his word some day."

At the time of the threatened invasion, the laird
had been taunted at a meeting at Ayr with want of
loyal spirit at Cumnock, as at that place no volunteer
corps had been raised to meet the coming danger;
Cumnock, it should be recollected, being on a high
situation, and ten or twelve miles from the coast.
"What sort of people are you up at Cumnock f
said an Ayr gentleman ; " you have not a single volun
teer ! " " Never you heed," says Logan, very quietly ;
" if the French land at Ayr, there will soon be plenty
of volunteers up at Cumnock."

A pendant to the story of candid admission on the
part of the minister, that the people might be weary
after his sermon, has been given on the authority of
the narrator, a Fife gentleman, ninety years of age
when he told it. He had been to church at Elie,
and listening to a young and perhaps bombastic
preacher, who happened to be officiating for the Rev.
Dr. Milligan, who was in church. After service,
meeting the Doctor in the passage, he introduced the
young clergyman, who, on being asked by the old
man how he did, elevated his shirt collar, and com
plained of fatigue, and being very much " tired."
"Tired, did ye say, my man?" said the old satirist,
who was slightly deaf- "Lord, man! if you re half
as tired as I am, I pity ye !

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 278

I have been much pleased with an offering from
Carluke, containing two very pithy anecdotes. Mr.
Rankin very kindly writes : " Your Reminiscences
are most refreshing. I am very little of a story-
collector, but I have recorded some of an old school
master, who was a story-teller. As a sort of payment
for the amusement I have derived from your book,
I shall give one or two."

He sends the two following :

" Shortly after Mr. Kay had been inducted school
master of Carluke (1790), the bederal called at the
school, verbally announcing, proclamation-ways, that
Mrs. So-and-So s funeral would be on Fuirsday. At
what hour? asked the dominie. Ou, ony time
atween ten and twa. At two o clock of the day
fixed, Mr. Kay quite a stranger to the customs of
the district arrived at the place, and was astonished
to find a crowd of men and lads, standing here and
there, some smoking, and all arglebargling* as if at
the end of a fair. He was instantly, but mysteriously,
approached, and touched on the arm by a red-faced
bareheaded man, who seemed to be in authority, and
was beckoned to follow. On entering the barn, which
was seated all round, he found numbers sitting, each
with the head bent down, and each with his hat
between his knees all gravity and silence. Anon
a voice was heard issuing from the far end, and a
long prayer was uttered. They had worked at this
what was called a service during three previous
hours, one party succeeding another, and many taking
advantage of every service, which consisted of a prayer
by way of grace, a glass of white wine a glass of red
wine, a glass of rum, and a prayer by wa}^ of thanks
giving. After the long invocation, bread and wine

* Disputing or bandying words backwards and forwards.

274 REMINISCENCES OF

passed round. Silence prevailed. Most partook of
both rounds of wine, but when the rum came, many
nodded refusal, and by and by the nodding seemed
to be universal, and the trays passed on so much the
more quickly. A sumphish weather-beaten man, with
a large flat blue bonnet on his knee, who had nodded
unwittingly, and was about to lose the last chance of
a glass of rum, raised his head, saying, amid the deep
silence, Od, I daursay I wull tak anither glass, and
in a sort of vengeful, yet apologetic tone, added, * The
auld jaud yince cheated me wi a cauve (calf)."

At a farmer s funeral in the country, an undertaker
was in charge of the ceremonial, and directing how it
was to proceed, when he noticed a little man giving
orders, and, as he thought, rather encroaching upon
the duties and privileges of his own office. He asked
him, " And wha are ye, mi man, that tak sae muckle
on ye ? " " Oh, dinna ye ken 1 said the man, under
a strong sense of his own importance, " I m the corp s
brither 1 *

Curious scenes took place at funerals where there
was, in times gone by, an unfortunate tendency to
join with such solemnities more attention to festal
entertainment than was becoming. A farmer, at
the interment of his second wife, exercised a liberal
hospitality to his friends at the inn near the church.
On looking over the bill, the master defended the
charge as moderate. But he reminded him, "Ye
forget, man, that it s no ilka ane that brings a second
funeral to your house."

"Dr. Scott, minister of Carluke (1770), was a fine
graceful kindly man, always stepping about in his
bag-wig and cane in hand, with a kind and ready

* In Scotland the remains of the deceased person is called
the " corp. *

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 275

word to every one. He was officiating at a bridal in
his parish, where there was a goodly company, had
partaken of the good cheer, and waited till the young
people were fairly warmed in the dance. A dissent
ing body had sprung up in the parish, which he tried
to think was beneath him even to notice, when he
could help it, yet never seemed to feel at all keenly
when the dissenters were alluded to. One of the
chief leaders of this body was at the bridal, and felt
it to be his bounden duty to call upon the minister
for his reasons for sanctioning by his presence so
sinful an enjoyment. Weel, minister, what think ye
o this dancinT Why, John, said the minister,
blithely, I think it an excellent exercise for young
people, and, I dare say, so do you. * Ah, sir, I m no
sure about it } I see nae authority for t in the Scrip
tures. Umph, indeed, John ; you cannot forget
David. Ah, sir, Dauvid ; gif they were a to dance
as Dauvid did, it would be a different thing a thegither.
c Hoot-o-fie, hoot-o-fie, John; would you have the
young folk strip to the sarkT "

Eeference has been made to the eccentric laird of
Balnamoon, his wig, and his " speats o drinking and
praying." A story of this laird is recorded, which I
do think is well named, by a correspondent who com
municates it 5 as a " quintessential phasis of dry Scotch
humour," and the explanation of which would perhaps
be thrown away upon any one who needed the explana
tion. The story is this : The laird riding past a
high steep bank, stopped opposite a hole in it, and
said, " Hairy, I saw a brock gang in there." " Did
ye?" said Hairy; " wull ye haud my horse, sir f
" Certainly," said the laird, and away rushed Hairy
for a spade. After digging for half-an-hour, he came
back, quite done, to the laird, who had regarded him

276 REMINISCENCES OF

musingly. "I canna find him, sir," said Hairy
" Deed," said the laird, very coolly, " I wad ha
wondered if ye had, for it s ten years sin I saw him
gang in there."

Amongst many humorous colloquies between Balna-
moon and his servant, the following must have been
very racy and very original. The laird, accompanied
by Hairy, after a dinner party, was riding on his way
home, through a ford, when he fell off into the water.
"Whae s that faun?" he inquired. " Deed," quoth
Hairy, " I witna an it be na your honour."

There is a peculiarity connected with what we
have considered Scotch humour. It is more common
for Scotsmen to associate their own feelings with na
tional events and national history than for Englishmen.
Take as illustrations the following, as being perhaps
as good as any: The Rev. Eobert Scott, a Scotsman
who forgets not Scotland in his southern vicarage,
and whom I have named before as having sent me
some good reminiscences, tells me that, at Inverary,
some thirty years ago, he could not help overhearing
the conversation of some Lowland cattle-dealers in the
public room in which he was. The subject of the
bravery of our navy being started, one of the inter
locutors expressed his surprise that Nelson should
have issued his signal at Trafalgar in the terms,
" England expects" etc. He was met with the answer
(which seemed highly satisfactory to the rest), "Ah,
Nelson only said expects of the English ; he said
naething of Scotland, for he kent the Scotch would do
theirs."

I am assured the following manifestation of national
feeling against the memory of a Scottish character
actually took place within a few years :- -Williamson
<,the Duke of Buccleuch s huntsman) was one afternoon

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 277

riding home from hunting through Haddington ; and
as he passed the old Abbey, he saw an ancient
woman looking through the iron grating in front of
the burial-place of the Lauderdale family, holding by
the bars, and grinning and dancing with rage. " Eh,
gudewife," said Williamson, " what ails ye V " It s
the Duke o Lauderdale," cried she. " Eh, if I could
win at him, I wud rax the banes o him."

To this class belongs the following complacent
Scottish remark upon Bannockburn. A splenetic
Englishman said to a Scottish countryman, something
of a wag, that no man of taste would think of remain
ing any time in such a country as Scotland. To
which the canny Scot replied, " Tastes differ ; I se tak
ye to a place no far frae Stirling, whaur thretty
thousand o your countrymen ha been for five hunder
years, and they ve nae thocht o leavin yet."

In a similar spirit, an honest Scotch farmer, who
had sent some sheep to compete at a great English
agricultural cattle -show, and was much disgusted at
not getting a prize, consoled himself for the disappoint
ment, by insinuating that the judges could hardly act
quite impartially by a Scottish competitor, compla
cently remarking, "It s aye been the same since
Bannockburn."

Then, again, take the story told in Lockhart s Life
of Sir Walter Scott, of the blacksmith whom Sir
Walter had formerly known as a horse-doctor, and
whom he found at a small country town south of the
Border, practising medicine with a reckless use of
1 laudamy and calomy," * apologising at the same
time for the mischief he might do, by the assurance
that it " would be lang before it made up for Flodden"
How graphically it describes the interest felt by

* Laudanum and calomel.
2B

278 REMINISCENCES OF

Scotchmen of his rank in the incidents of their national
history. A similar example has been recorded in
connection with Bannockburn. Two Englishmen
visited the field of that great battle, and a country
blacksmith pointed out the positions of the two armies,
the stone on which was fixed the Bruce s standard, etc.
The gentlemen, pleased with the intelligence of their
guide, on leaving pressed his acceptance of a crown-
piece. " Na, na," replied the Scotsman, with much
pride, "it has cost ye eneuch already." Such an
example of self-denial on the part of a Scottish cicerone
is, we fear, now rather a "reminiscence."

A north country drover had, however, a more
tangible opportunity of gratifying his national ani
mosity against the Southron, and of which he availed
himself. Eeturning homewards, after a somewhat
unsuccessful journey, and not in very good humour
with the Englishers, when passing through Carlisle he
saw a notice stuck up, offering a reward of 50 for
any one who would do a piece of service to the
community, by officiating as executioner of the law on
a noted criminal then under sentence of death. See
ing a chance to make up for his bad market, and
comforted with the assurance that he was unknown
there, he undertook the office, executed the condemned,
and got the fee. When moving off with the money,
he was twitted at as a "mean beggarly Scot," doing
for money what no Englishman would. With a grin
and quiet glee, he only replied, " I ll hang ye a at the
price."

Some Scotsmen, no doubt, have a very complacent
feeling regarding the superiority of their countrymen,
and make no hesitation in proclaiming their opinion.
I have always admired the quaint expression of such
belief in a case which has recently been reported to

SCOTTISH LIFE <6 CHARACTER. 279

me. A young Englishman had taken a Scottish
shooting-ground, and enjoyed his mountain sport so
much as to imbibe a strung partiality for his northern
residence and all its accompaniments. At a German
watering-place he encountered, next year, an original
character, a Scotsman of the old school, very national,
and somewhat bigoted in his nationality : he deter
mined to pass himself off to him as a genuine Scottish
native j and, accordingly, he talked of Scotland and
haggis, and sheep s head, and whisky ; he boasted of
Bannockburn, and admired Queen Mary ; looked upon
Scott and Burns as superior to all English writers;
and staggered, although he did not convince, the old
gentleman. On going away he took leave of his
Scottish friend, and said, "Well, sir, next time we
meet, I hope you will receive me as a real countryman."
" Weel," he said, "I m jest thinkin , my lad, ye re nae
Scotsman ; but I ll tell ye what ye are- -ye re juist
an impmived Englishman."

I am afraid we must allow that Scottish people
have a leetle national vanity, and may be too ready
sometimes to press the claim of their country to an
extravagantly assumed pre-eminence in the annals of
genius and celebrities. An extreme case of such pre
tension I heard of lately, which is amusing. A Scots
man, in reference to the distinction awarded to Sir
Walter Scott, on occasion of his centenary, had roundly
asserted, " But all who have been eminent men were
Scotsmen." An Englishman, offended at such as
sumption of national pre-eminence, asked indignantly,
" What do you say to Shakspeare ? To which the
other quietly replied, " Weel, his tawlent wad justifee
the inference." This is rich, as an example of an a
priori argument in favour of a man being a Scots
man.

280 REMINISCENCES OF

We find in the conversation of old people frequent
mention of a class of beings well known in country
parishes, now either become commonplace, like the
rest of the world, or removed altogether, and shut up
in poorhouses or madhouses I mean the individuals
frequently called parochial idiots ; but who were rather
of the order of naturals. They were eccentric, or
somewhat crazy, useless, idle creatures, who used to
wander about from house to house, and sometimes
made very shrewd sarcastic remarks upon what was
going on in the parish. I heard such a person once
described as one who was " wanting in twopence of
change for a shilling." They used to take great
liberty of speech regarding the conduct and disposition
of those with whom they came in contact, and many
odd sayings which emanated from them were tradi
tionary in country localities. I have a kindly feeling
towards these imperfectly intelligent, but often per
fectly cunning beings ; partly, I believe, from recollec
tions of early associations in boyish days with some
of those Davy Gellatleys. I have therefore preserved
several anecdotes with which I have been favoured,
where their odd sayings and indications of a degree
of mental activity have been recorded. These persons
seem to have had a partiality for getting near the
pulpit in church, and their presence there was accord
ingly sometimes annoying to the preacher and the
congregation ; as at Maybole, when Dr. Paul, now of
St. Cuthbert s, was minister in 1823, John M Lymont,
an individual of this class, had been in the habit of
standing so close to the pulpit door as to overlook the
Bible and pulpit board. When required, however,
by the clergyman to keep at a greater distance, and
Qot look in upon the minister, he got intensely angry
and violent. He threatened the minister, " Sir,

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 281

baeby (maybe) I ll come farther ;" meaning to intimate
that perhaps he would, if much provoked, come into
the pulpit altogether. This, indeed, actually took
place on another occasion, and the tenure of the mini
sterial position was justified by an argument of a most
amusing nature. The circumstance, I am assured,
happened in a parish in the north. The clergyman,
on coming into church, found the pulpit occupied by
the parish natural. The authorities had been unable
to remove him without more violence than was seemly,
and therefore waited for the minister to dispossess
Tarn of the place he had assumed. " Come down, sir,
immediately!" was the peremptory and indignant
call \ and on Tarn being unmoved, it was repeated
with still greater energy. Tarn, however, replied,
looking down confidentially from his elevation, " Na,
na, minister ! juist ye come up wi me. This is a
perverse generation, and faith they need us baith."
It is curious to mark the sort of glimmering of sense,
and even of discriminating thought, displayed by per
sons of this class. As an example, take a conversation
held by this same John M Lymont, with Dr. Paul,
whom he met some time after. He seemed to have
recovered his good humour, as he stopped him and
said, " Sir, I would like to speer a question at ye on a
subject that s troubling me." " Well, Johnnie, what
is the question?" To which he replied, "Sir, is it
lawful at ony time to tell a lee 1 ? 1 The minister
desired to know what Johnnie himself thought upon
the point. " Weel, sir," said he, " I ll no say but in
every case it s wrang to tell a lee ; but," added he,
looking archly and giving a knowing wink, " I think
there are waur lees than ithers" "How, Johnnie?"
and then he instantly replied, with all the simplicity
of a fool, " To hep down a din, for instance. I ll no

282 REMINISCENCES OF

say but a man does wrang in telling a lee to keep
down a din, but I m sure he does not do half sae
muckle wrang as a man who tells a lee to kick up a
deevilment o a din." This opened a question not
likely to occur to such a mind. Mr. Asher, minister
of Inveraven, in Morayshire, narrated to Dr. Paul a
curious example of want of intelligence combined with
a power of cunning to redress a fancied wrong, shown
by a poor natural of the parish, who had been seized
with a violent inflammatory attack, and was in great
danger. The medical attendant saw it necessary to
bleed him, but he resisted, and would not submit to
it. At last the case became so hopeless that they
were obliged to use force, and, holding his hands and
feet, the doctor opened a vein and drew blood, upon
which the poor creature, struggling violently, bawled
out, " doctor, doctor ! you ll kill me ! you ll kill me !
and depend upon it the first thing I ll do when I get
to the other world will be to report you to the board of
Supervision there, and get you dismissed" A most ex
traordinary sensation was once produced on a congre
gation by Eab Hamilton, a well-remembered crazy
creature of the west country, on the occasion of his
attendance at the parish kirk of " Auld Ayr, wham
ne er a toun surpasses," the minister of which, in the
opinion of Rab s own minister, Mr. Peebles, had a
tendency to Socinian doctrines. Miss Kirkwood,
Bothwell, relates the story from the recollection of
her aunt, who was present. Eab had put his head
between some iron rails, the first intimation of which
to the congregation was a stentorian voice crying out,
" Murder ! my heed ll hae to be cuttit aff ! Hoi} 1
minister ! congregation ! Oh, my heed maun be cuttit
aff. It s a judgment for leaving my godlie Mr. Peebles
at the Newton." After he had been extricated and

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 283

quieted, when asked why he put his head there, he
said, " It was juist to look on* wi anither woman."

The following anecdote of this same Eab Hamilton
from a kind correspondent at Ayr sanctions the
opinion that he must have occasionally said such
clever things as made some think him more rogue
than fool. Dr. Auld often showed him kindness, but
being once addressed by him when in a hurry and out
of humour, he said, " Get away, Eab ; I have nothing
for you to day." " Whaw, whew," cried Eab, in a
half howl, half whining tone, " I dinna want onything
the day, Maister Auld ; I wanted to tell you an
awsome dream I hae had. I dreamt I was deed."
" Weel, what then ? " said Dr. Auld. Ou, I was
carried far, far, and up, up, up, till I cam to heeven s
yett, where I chappit, and chappit, and chappit, till
at last an angel keekit out, and said Wha are ye ]
A in puir Eab Hamilton. i Whaur are ye frae ? * Frae
the wicked toun o Ayr. I dinna ken ony sic
place, said the angel. Oh, but A m juist frae there.
Weel, the angel sends for the Apostle Peter, and
Peter comes wi his ke} r and opens the yett, and says
to me, Honest man, do you come frae the auld toun
o AyrT < Deed do I, says I. Weel, says Peter,
4 1 ken the place, but naebody s cam frae the toun o
Ayr, no since the year so and so mentioning the
year when Dr. Auld was inducted into the parish.
Dr. Auld could not resist giving him his answer, and
telling him to go about his business.

The pathetic complaint of one of this class, residing
at a farm-house, has often been narrated, and forms a
good illustration of idiot life and feelings. He was
living in the greatest comfort, and every want pro
vided. But. like the rest of mankind, he had his own

* Read fror.? the same book.

284 REMINISCENCES OF

trials, and his own cause for anxiety and annoyance.
In this poor fellow s case it was the great turkey-cock
at the farm, of which he stood so terribly in awe that
he was afraid to come within a great distance of his
enemy. Some of his friends, coming to visit him, re
minded him how comfortable he was, and how grate
ful he ought to be for the great care taken of him.
He admitted the truth of the remark generally, but
still, like others, he had his unknown grief which
sorely beset his path in life. There was a secret
grievance which embittered his lot ; and to his friend
he thus opened his heart : " Ae, ae, but oh, I m sair
hadden doun wi the bubbly jock." *

I have received two anecdotes illustrative both of
the occasional acutenesss of mind, and of the sensitive
ness of feeling occasionally indicated by persons thus
situated. A well-known idiot, Jamie Fraser, belong
ing to the parish of Lunan, in Forfarshire, quite
surprised people sometimes by his replies. The
congregation of his parish church had for some time
distressed the minister by their habit of sleeping in
church. He had often endeavoured to impress them
with a sense of the impropriety of such conduct, and
one day Jamie was sitting in the front gallery, wide
awake, when many were slumbering round him. The
clergyman endeavoured to draw the attention of his
hearers to his discourse by stating the fact, saying,
" You see even Jamie Fraser, the idiot, does not fall
asleep, as so many of you are doing." Jamie, not
liking, perhaps, to be thus designated, coolly replied,
" An I hadna been an idiot, I micht ha* been sleepin
too." Another of these imbeciles, belonging to
Peebles,- had been sitting at church for some time
listening attentively to a strong representation from

* Sorely kept under by the turkey-cock.

SCOTTISH LIFE <L- CHARACTER. 285

the pulpit of the guilt of deceit and falsehood in
Christian characters. He was observed to turn red,
and grow very uneasy, until at last, as if wincing
under the supposed attack upon himself personally,
he roared out, " Indeed, minister, there s mair leears
in Peebles than me." As examples of this class of
persons possessing much of the dry humour of their
more sane countrymen, and of their facility to utter
sly and ready-witted sayings, I have received the two
following from Mr. W. Chambers : Daft Jock Gray,
the supposed original of David Gellatley, was one day
assailed by the minister of a south-country parish on
the subject of his idleness. "John," said the minister,
rather pompously, " you are a very idle fellow ; you
might surely herd a few cows." "Me hird ! " replied
Jock ; " I dinna ken corn frae gerss."

There was a carrier named Davie Loch who was
reputed to be rather light of wits, but at the same
time not without a sense of his worldly interests.
His mother, finding her end approaching, addressed
her son in the presence of a number of the neigh
bours. The house will be Davie s and the furniture
too. Eh, hear her. quoth Davie; sensible to

the last, sensible to the last. The lyin siller

Eh yes ; how clear she is about everything !
The lyin siller is to be divided between my twa
dauchters. Steek the bed doors, steek the bed
doors, * interposed Davie ; she s ravin now ; and the
old dying woman was shut up accordingly."

In the Memorials of the Montgomeries, Earls 01
Eglinton, vol. i. p. 134, occurs an anecdote illustrative
of the peculiar acuteness and quaint humour which
occasionally mark the sayings of persons considered

Close the doors. The old woman was lying in a (i box-Led.
See Life of Robert Chambers, p YJL

286 REMINISCENCES OF

as imbeciles. There was a certain " Daft Will Speir,"
who was a privileged haunter of Eglinton Castle and
grounds. He was discovered by the Earl one day
taking a near cut, and crossing a fence in the demesne.
The Earl called out, " Come back, sir, that s not the
road." " Do you ken," said Will, " whaur Tin gaunl
" No," replied his lordship. " Weel, hoo the deil do
ye ken whether this be the road or no 1

This same "Daft Will Speir was passing the
minister s glebe, where haymaking was in progress.
The minister asked Will if he thought the weather
would keep up, as it looked rather like rain. " Weel,"
said Will, " I canna be very sure, but I ll be passin
this way the nicht, an I ll ca in and tell ye." " Well,
Will," said his master one day to him, seeing that he
had just finished his dinner, "have you had a good
dinner to day?" (Will had been grumbling some
time before.) " Ou, vera gude," answered Will ; " but
gin onybody asks if I got a dram after t, what will I
say 1 " This poor creature had a high sense of duty.
It appears he had been given the charge of the coal-
stores at the Earl of Eglinton s. Having on one
occasion been reprimanded for allowing the supplies
to run out before further supplies were ordered, he
was ever afterwards most careful to fulfil his duty.

*/

In course of time poor Will became " sick unto death,"
and the minister came to see him. Thinking him in
really a good frame of mind, the minister asked him,
in presence of the laird and others, if there were not
one great thought which was ever to him the highest
consolation in his hour of trouble. " Ou ay," gasped
the sufferer, "Lord be thankit, a the bunkers are
fu !"

The following anecdote is told regarding the late
Lord Dundrennan :--A half silly basket- woman passing

SCOTTISH LIFE CHARACTER. 287

down his avenue at Compstone one day, he met her,
and said, " My good woman, there s no road this way."
"Na, sir," she said, "I think ye re wrang there; I
think it s a most beautiful road."

These poor creatures have invariably a great delight
in attending funerals. In many country places hardly
a funeral ever took place without the attendance of
the parochial idiot. It seemed almost a necessary
association ; and such attendance seemed to constitute
the great delight of those creatures. I have myself
witnessed again and again the sort of funeral scene
portrayed by Sir Walter Scott, who no doubt took his
description from what was common in his day : " The
funeral pomp set forth saulies with their batons and
gumphions of tarnished white crape. Six starved
horses, themselves the very emblems of mortality, well
cloaked and plumed, lugging along the hearse with its
dismal emblazonry, crept in slow pace towards the
place of interment, preceded by Jamie Duff, an idiot,
who, with weepers and cravat made of white paper,
attended on every funeral, and followed by six mourn
ing coaches filled with the company." Guy Mannering.

The following anecdote, supplied by Mr. Blair, is
an amusing illustration both of the funeral propensity,
and of the working of a defective brain, in a half
witted carle, who used to range the province of Gallo
way armed with a huge pike-staff, and who one day
met a funeral procession a few miles from Wigtown.
A long train of carriages, and farmers riding on horse
back, suggested the propriety of his bestriding his
staff, and following after the funeral. The procession
marched at a brisk pace, and on reaching the kirk-
yard style, as each rider dismounted, " Daft Jock " de
scended from his wooden steed, besmeared with mire
and perspiration, exclaiming, " Hech, sirs, had it uo

288 REMINISCENCES OF

been for the fashion o the thing, I micht as weel hae
been on my ain feet."

The withdrawal of these characters from public
view, and the loss of importance which they once en
joyed in Scottish society, seem to me inexplicable.
Have they ceased to exist, or are they removed from
our sight to different scenes ? The fool was, in early
times, a very important personage in most Scottish
households of any distinction. Indeed this had been
so common as to be a public nuisance.

It seemed that persons assumed the character, for
we find a Scottish Act of Parliament, dated 19th
January 1449, with this title : "Act for the way-
putting of Fenyent Fules," etc. (Thomson s Acts of
Parliament of Scotland, vol. i.) ; and it enacts very
stringent measures against such persons. They seem
to have formed a link between the helpless idiot and
the boisterous madman, sharing the eccentricity of the
latter and the stupidity of the former, generally add
ing, however, a good deal of the sharp-wittedness of
the knave. Up to the middle of the eighteenth century
this appears to have been still an appendage to some
families. I have before me a little publication with
the title, "The Life and Death of Jamie Fleeman, the
Laird of Udny s Fool. Tenth edition. Aberdeen,
1810." With portrait. Also twenty-sixth edition,
of 1829. I should suppose this account of a family
fool was a fair representation of a good specimen of
the class. He was evidently of defective intellect, but
at times showed the odd humour and quick conclusion
which so often mark the disordered brain. I can
only now give two examples taken from his history :
Having found a horse-shoe on the road, he met Mr.
Craigie, the minister of St. Fergus, and showed it ta
him, asking, in pretended ignorance, what it wa&

SCOTTISH LIFE <L CHARACTER. 281

" Why, Jamie," said Mr. Craigie, good humouredly,
" anybody that was not a fool would know that it is
a horse-shoe." " Ah !" said Jamie, with affected sim
plicity, " what it is to be wise- to ken it s no a meer s
shoe i "

On another occasion, when all the country-side were
hastening to the Perth races, Jamie had cut across
the fields and reached a bridge near the town, and
sat down upon the parapet. He commenced munching
away at a large portion of a leg of mutton which he
had somehow become possessed of, and of which he was
amazingly proud. The laird came riding past, and
seeing Jamie sitting on the bridge, accosted him :
"Ay, Fleeman, are ye here already]" " Ou ay,"
quoth Fleeman, with an air of assumed dignity and
archness not easy to describe, while his eye glanced
significantly towards the mutton, " Ou ay, ye ken a
body when he has anything"

V </ /

Of witty retorts by half-witted creatures of this
class, I do not know of one more pointed than what
is recorded of such a character who used to hang about
the residence of a late Lord Fife. It would appear
that some parts of his lordship s estates were barren,
and in a very unproductive condition. Under the
improved system of agriculture and of draining, great
preparations had been made for securing a good crop
in a certain field, where Lord Fife, his factor, and
others interested in the subject, were collected together.
There was much discussion, and some difference of
opinion, as to the crop with which the field had best
be sown. The idiot retainer, who had been listening un
noticed to all that was said, at last cried out, " Saw t wi
factors, ma lord ; they are sure to thrive everywhere."

There was an idiot who lived long in Lander, and
seems to have had a great resemblance to the jester

290 REMINISCENCES OF

of old times. He was a staunch supporter of the
Established Church. One day some one gave him a
bad shilling. On Sunday he went to the Seceders
meeting-house, and when the ladle was taken round
he put in his bad shilling and took out elevenpence
halfpenny. Afterwards he went in high glee to the
late Lord Lauderdale, calling out, " I ve cheated the
Seceders the day, my lord ; I ve cheated the Seceders."

Jemmy had long harboured a dislike to the steward
on the property, which he made manifest in the
following manner: Lord Lauderdale and Sir Anthony
Maitland used to take him out shooting ; and one day
Lord Maitland (he was then), on having to cross the
Leader, said, " Now, Jemmy, you shall carry me
through the water," which Jemmy duly did. The
steward, who was shooting with them, expected the
same service, and accordingly said, "Now, Jemmy,
you must carry me over/ 5 " Yera weel," said Jemmy.
He took the steward on his back, and when he had
carefully carried him half-way across the river he paid
off his grudge by dropping him quietly into the water.

A daft individual used to frequent the same district,
about whom a variety of opinions were entertained,
some people thinking him not so foolish as he
sometimes seemed. On one occasion a person, wishing
to test whether he knew the value of money, held
out a sixpence and a penny, and offered him his choice.
" I ll tak the wee ane," he said, giving as his modest
reason, " I se no be greedy." At another time, a
miller laughing at him for his witlessness, he said,
" Some things I ken, and some I dinna ken." On
being asked what he knew, he said, " I ken a miller
has aye a gey fat sou." " An what d ye no ken ]
said the miller. " Ou," he returned, " I dinna kec
wha s expense she s fed at."

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 291

A very amusing collision of one of those penurious
lairds, already referred to, a certain Mr. Gordon of
Rothie, with a half-daft beggar wanderer of the name
of Jock Muilton, has been recorded. The laird was
very shabby, as usual, and, meeting Jock, began to
banter him on the subject of his dress :--" Ye re very
grand, Jock. Thae s fine claes ye hae gotten ; whaur
did ye get that coat ?" Jock told him who had given
him his coat, and then, looking slily at the laird, he
inquired, as with great simplicity, " And whaur did
ye get yours, laird?"

For another admirable story of a rencontre between
a penurious laird and the parish natural I am indebted
to the Scotsman, June 16, 1871. Once on a time
there was a Highland laird renowned for his caution
in money matters, and his precise keeping of books.
His charities were there ; but that department of his
bookkeeping was not believed to be heavy. On ex
amination, a sum of half-a-crown was unexpectedly
discovered in it ; but this was accounted for in a
manner creditable to his intentions, if not to his suc
cess in executing them. It had been given in mistake
instead of a coin of a different denomination, to " the
natural of the parish for holding his shelty while he
transacted business at the bank. A gleam in the
boy s eye drew his attention to a gleam of white as
the metal dropped into his pocket. In vain the laird
assured him it was not a good bawbee if he would
give it up he would get another it was " guid
eneuch" for the like of him. And when the laird in
his extremity swore a great oath that unless it was
given up he would never give another halfpenny, the
answer was " Ech, laird, it wad be lang or ye gied
me saxty

Another example of shrewd and ready humour ID

292 REMINISCENCES OF

one of that class is the following : In this case the
idiot was musical, and earned a few stray pence by
playing Scottish airs on a flute. He resided at Stir
ling, and used to hang about the door of the inn to
watch the arrival and departure of travellers. A lady,
who used to give him something occasionally, was
just starting, and said to Jamie that she had only a
fourpenny piece, and that he must be content with
that, for she could not stay to get more. Jamie was
not satisfied, and as the lady drove out, he expressed
his feelings by playing with all his might, " wearie
o the loom pouch" *

The spirit in Jamie Fraser before mentioned, and
which had kept him awake, shows itself in idiots occa
sionally by making them restless and troublesome.
One of this character had annoyed the clergyman
where he attended church by fidgeting, and by un
couth sounds which he uttered during divine service.
Accordingly, one day before church began, he was
cautioned against moving, or " making a whisht," under
the penalty of being turned out. The poor creature
sat quite still and silent, till, in a very important
part of the sermon, he felt an inclination to cough.
So he shouted out, " Minister, may a puir body like
me noo gie a hoast ] " f

I have two anecdotes of two peers, who might be
said to come under the description of half-witted. In
their case the same sort of dry Scotch humour came
out under the cloak of mental disease. The first is
of a Scottish nobleman of the last century who had
been a soldier the greater part of his life, but was
obliged to come home on account of aberration of
mind, superinduced by hereditary propensity. De
sirous of putting him under due restraint, and at the
Empty pocket. t A cough.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 293

same time of engaging his mind in his favourite pur
suit, his friends secured a Sergeant Briggs to be his
companion, and, in fact, keeper. To render the
sergeant acceptable as a companion they introduced
him to the old earl as Colonel Briggs. Being asked
how he liked "the colonel," the earl showed how
acute he still was by his answer, " Oh, very well ; he
is a sensible man, and a good soldier, but he smells
damnably of the halbert"

The second anecdote relates also to a Scottish
nobleman labouring under aberration of mind, and is,
I believe, a traditionary one. In Scotland, some
hundred years ago, madhouses did not exist, or were
on a very limited scale ; and there was often great
difficulty in procuring suitable accommodation for
patients who required special treatment and seclusion
from the world. The gentleman in question had
been consigned to the Canongate prison, and his posi
tion there was far from comfortable. An old friend
called to see him, and asked how it had happened
that he was placed in so unpleasant a situation. His
reply was, " Sir, it was more the kind interest and
patronage of my friends than my own merits that
have placed me here." "But have you not remon
strated or complained ?" asked his visitor. "I told
them :> said his lordship. " that they were a pack of
infernal villains." "Did you 1 ?" said his friend; "that
was bold language ; and what did they say to that 1
" Oh," said the peer, " I took care not to tell them till
they were fairly out of the place, and weel up the
Canongate."

In Peebles there was a crazy being of this kind
called " Daft Yedie." On one occasion he saw a
gentleman, a stranger in the town, who had a club
foot. Yedie contemplated this phenomenon with

2 c

D94 REMINISCENCES OP

some interest, and, addressing the gentleman, said
compassionately, "It s a great pity its spoils the
boot." There is a story of one of those half-witted
creatures of a different character from the humorous
ones already recorded \ I think it is exceeding!}
affecting. The story is traditionary in a country dis
trict, and I am not aware of its being ever printed.

A poor boy, of this class, who had evidently mani
fested a tendency towards religious and devotional
feelings, asked permission from the clergyman to
attend the Lord s Table and partake of the holy com
munion with the other members of the congregation
(whether Episcopalian or Presbyterian I do not know).
The clergyman demurred for some time, under the
impression of his mind being incapable of a right and
due understanding of the sacred ordinance. But
observing the extreme earnestness of the poor boy, he
at last gave consent, and he was allowed to come.
He was much affected, and all the way home was
heard to exclaim, " Oh ! I hae seen the pretty man."
This referred to his seeing the Lord Jesus whom he
had approached in the sacrament. He kept repeating
the words, and went with them on his lips to rest for
the night. Not appearing at the usual hour for
breakfast, when they went to his bedside they found
him dead ! The excitement had been too much
mind and body had given way and the half-idiot of
earth awoke to the glories and the bliss of his Ke-
deemer s presence.

Analogous with the language of the defective intellect
is the language of the imperfectly formed intellect,
and I have often thought there was something very
touching and very fresh in the expression of feelings
and notions by children. I have given examples be
fore, but the following is, to my taste, a charming

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 295

specimen : A little boy had lived for some time with
a very penurious uncle, who took good care that the
child s health should not be injured by over-feeding.
The uncle was one day walking out, the child at his
side, when a friend accosted him, accompanied by a
greyhound. While the elders were talking, the little
fellow, never having seen a dog so slim and slight of
form, clasped the creature round the neck with the
impassioned cry, " Oh, doggie, doggie, and div ye live
wi your uncle tae, that ye are so thin ?

In connection with funerals, I am indebted to the
kindness of Lord Kinloch for a characteristic anecdote
of cautious Scottish character in the west country. It
was the old fashion, still practised in some districts,
to carry the coffin to the grave on long poles, or
" spokes," as they were commonly termed. There
were usually two bearers abreast on each side. On a
certain occasion one of the two said to his companion,
" I m awfu tired wi carryin ." " Do you carry ? was
the interrogatory in reply. " Yes ; what do you do 1 "
"Oh," said the other, "I aye lean." His friend s
fatigue was at once accounted for.

I am strongly tempted to give an account of a
parish functionary in the words of a kind corre
spondent from Kilmarnock, although communicated
in the following very flattering terms: "In common
with every Scottish man worthy of the name, I have
been delighted with your book, and have the ambi
tion to add a pebble to the cairn, and accordingly
send you a bellman story; it has, at least, the merit
of being unprinted and unedited."

The incumbent of Craigie parish, in this district of
Ayrshire, had asked a Mr. Wood, tutor in the Cairn-
hill family, to officiate for him on a particular Sun
day. Mr. Wood, however, between the time of beiug

296 REMINISCENCES OF

asked and the appointed day, got intimation of the
dangerous illness of his father ; in the hurry of
setting out to see him, he forgot to arrange for the
pulpit being filled. The bellman of Craigie parish,
by name Matthew Dinning, and at this time about
eighty years of age, was a very little " crined " * old
man, and always wore a broad Scottish blue bonnet,
with a red " bob on the top. The parish is a small
rural one, so that Matthew knew every inhabitant in
it, and had seen most of them grow up. On this
particular day, after the congregation had waited for
some time, Matthew was seen to walk very slowly up
the middle of the church, with the large Bible arid
psalm-book under his arm, to mount the pulpit stair ;
and after taking his bonnet off, and smoothing down
his forehead with his "loof," thus addressed the
audience :

" My freens, there was ane Wuds tae hae preached
here the day, but he has nayther corned himsell, nor
had the ceevility tae sen us the scart o a pen.
Ye ll bide here for ten meenonts, and gin naebody
comes forrit in that time, ye can gang awa hame.
Some say his feyther s dead ; as for that I kenna."

The following is another illustration of the cha
racter of the old Scottish betheral. One of those
worthies, who was parochial grave-digger, had been
missing for two days or so, and the minister had in
vain sent to discover him at most likely places. He
bethought, at last, to make inquiry at a " public " at
some distance from the village, and on entering the
door he met his man in the trance, quite fou, stagger
ing out, supporting himself with a hand on each wa .
To the minister s sharp rebuke and rising wrath for
his indecent and shameful behaviour, John, a wag in

* Shrivelled.

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHAEACTER. 297

his way, and emboldened by liquor, made answer,
" Deed, sir, sin I ca d at the manse, I hae buried an
auld wife, and I ve just drucken her, hough an
horn." Such was his candid admission of the manner
in which he had disposed of the church fees paid for
the interment.

An encounter of wits between a laird and an
elder : A certain laird in Fife, well known for his
parsimonious habits, and who, although his substance
largely increased, did not increase his liberality in
his weekly contribution to the church collection,
which never exceeded the sum of one penny, one
day by mistake dropped into the plate at the door
half-a-crown ; but discovering his error before he
was seated in his pew, he hurried back, and was
about to replace the coin by his customary penny,
when the elder in attendance cried out, u Stop, laird ;
ye may put in what ye like, but ye maun tak nae-
thing oot ! The laird, finding his explanations went
for nothing, at last said, " Aweel, I suppose I ll get
credit for it in heaven." " Na, na, laird," said the
elder, sarcastically ; " ye ll only get credit for the
penny."

The following is not a bad specimen of sly piper
wit :

The Eev. Mr. Johnstone of Monquhitter, a very
grandiloquent pulpit orator in his day, accosting a
travelling piper, well known in the district, with the
question, "Well, John, how does the wind pay]"
received from John, with a low bow, the answer,
" Your Reverence has the advantage of me."

Apropos to stories connected with ministers and
pipers, there cannot be a better specimen than the
famous one preserved by Sir Walter Scott, in his
notes to Waverley, which I am tempted to reproduce,

REMINISCENCES OF

as possibly some of my readers may have forgotten
it. The gudewife of the inn at Greenlaw had re
ceived four clerical guests into her house, a father
and three sons. The father took an early oppor
tunity of calling the attention of the landlady to the
subject of his visit, and, introducing himself, com
menced in rather a pompous manner "Now, con
fess, Luckie Buchan, you never remember having such
a party in your house before. Here am I, a placed
minister, with my three sons, who are themselves all
placed ministers." The landlady, accustomed to a
good deal of deference and attention from the county
families, not quite liking the high tone assumed by
the minister on the occasion, and being well aware
that all the four were reckoned very poor and unin
teresting preachers, answered rather drily, " Deed,
minister, I canna just say that I ever had sic a party
before in the hoose, except it were in the 45, when
I had a piper and his three sons a? pipers. But
(she added quietly, as if aside), " deil a spring could
they play amang them."

I have received from Kev. William Blair, A.M.
U.P. minister at Dunblane, many kind communica
tions. I have made a selection, which I now group
together, and they have this character in common,
that they are all anecdotes of ministers :

Rev. Walter Dunlop of Dumfries was well known for
pithy and facetious replies ; he was kindly known under
the appellation of our " Watty Dunlop." On one occasion
two irreverent young fellows determined, as they said, to
* taigle " * the minister. Corning up to him in the High
Street of Dumfries, they accosted him with much solemnity
" Maister Dunlop, dae ye hear the news ? " What
news?" "Oh, the deil s deed." "Is he?" said Mr

* Confound.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 299

Dimlop, " then I maun pray for twa faitherless bairns."
On another occasion Mr. Dunlop met, with characteristic
humour, an attempt to play off a trick against him. It
was known that he was to dine with a minister whose house
was close to the church, so that his return back must be
through the churchyard. Accordingly some idle and mis
chievous youths waited for him in the dark night, and one
of them came up to him, dressed as a ghost, in hopes of
putting him in a fright. Watty s cool accost speedily upset
the plan : " Weel, Maister Ghaist, is this a general rising,
or are ye juist takin -a daunder frae yer grave by yersell ?"
I have received from a correspondent another specimen of
Watty s acute rejoinders. So*me years ago the celebrated
Edward Irving had been lecturing at Dumfries, and a man
who passed as a wag in that locality had been to hear him.
He met Watty Dunlop the following day, who said, " Weel,
Willie, man, an what do ye think of Mr. Irving ? " " Oh,"
said Willie, contemptuously, " the man s crack t." Dunlop
patted him on the shoulder, with a quiet remark, " Willie,
ye ll aften see a light peeping through a crack ! "

He was accompanying a funeral one day, when he met
a man driving a flock of geese. The wayward disposition
of the bipeds at the moment was too much for the driver s
temper, and he indignantly cried out, " Deevil choke
them ! " Mr. Dunlop walked a little farther on, and passed
a farm-stead, where a servant was driving out a number of
swine, and banning them with " Deevil tak them ! " Upon
which, Mr. Dunlop stepped up to him, and said, u Ay, ay,
my man ; your gentleman 11 be wi ye i the noo : he s
juist back the road there a bit, choking some geese till a

man.

Shortly after the Disruption, Dr. Cook of St. Andrews
was introduced to Mr. Dunlop, upon which occasion Mr.
Dunlop said, " Weel, sir, ye ve been lang Cook, Cooking
them, but ye ve dished them at last."

Mr. Clark of Dalreoch, whose head was vastly dispro-
portioned to his body, met Mr. Dunlop one day. " Weel,
Air. Clark, that s a threat head o yours." " Indeed it is,

300 REMINISCENCES OF

Mr. Dunlop ; I could contain yours inside of my own."
" Juist sae," quietly replied Mr. Dunlop ; " I was e en
thinkin it was geyan toom" *

Mr. Dunlop happened one day to be present in a church
court of a neighbouring presbytery. A Rev. Doctor was
asked to pray, and declined. On the meeting adjourning,
Mr. Dunlop stepped up to the Doctor, and asked how he
did. The Doctor, never having been introduced, did not
reply. Mr. Dunlop withdrew, and said to his friend,
" Eh ! but isna he a queer man, that Doctor, he ll neither
speak to God nor man."

The Rev. John Brown of Whitburn was riding out one
day on an old pony, when he was accosted by a rude youth :
" I say, Mr. Broon, what gars your horse s tail wag that
way ? >J " Oo, juist what gars your tongue wag ; it s fashed
wi a wakeness"

About sixty years ago there were two ministers in
Sanquhar of the name of Thomson, one of whom was father
of the late Dr. Andrew Thomson of Edinburgh, the other
was father of Dr. Thomson of Balfron. The domestic in
the family of the latter was rather obtrusive with her secret
devotions, sometimes kneeling on the stairs at night, and
talking loud enough to be heard. On a communion season
she was praying devoutly and exclusively for her minister :
tl Remember Mr. Tampon, no him at the Green, but oor ain
Mr. Tamson."

Rev. Mr. Leslie of Moray shire combined the duties of
justice of peace with those of parochial clergyman. One
day he was taken into confidence by a culprit who had
been caught in the act of smuggling, and was threatened
with a heavy fine. The culprit was a staunch Seceder,
and owned a small farm. Mr. Leslie, with an old-fashioned
zeal for the Established Church, said to him, (t The king
will come in the cadger s road some day. Ye wadna come
to the parish kirk, though it were to save your life, wad
ye ? Come rioo, an I se mak ye a richt ! ; Next Sabbath
the seceding smuggler appeared in the parish kirk, and a:

* Empty

THE BEADLE
From a i.xitey-colonr drawing by

//AYV AT IV. KERR,
A.g.S.A., A .S./r.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 301

the paupers were receiving parochial allowance, Mr. Leslie
slipped a shilling into the smuggler s hand. When the
J. P. Court was held, Mr. Leslie was present, when a fine
was proposed to be exacted from the smuggler. " Fine ! "
said Mr. Leslie ; " he s mair need o something to get duds
to his back. He s ane o my poor roll ; I gie d him a
shilling just last Sabbath."

A worthy old Seceder used to ride from Gargunnock to
Bucklyvie every Sabbath to attend the Burgher kirk. One
day as he rode past the parish kirk of Kippen, the elder
at the plate accosted him, " I m sure, John, it s no like the
thing to see you ridin in sic a doon-pour o rain sae far by
to thae Seceders. Ye ken the mercifu man is mercifu to
his beast. Could ye no step in by ? >: " Weel," said John,
" I wadiia care sae muckle about stablin my beast inside,
but it s anither thing mysel gain in."

The Rev. Dr. George Lawson of Selkirk acted for many
years as theological tutor to the Secession Church. One
day, on entering the Divinity Hall, he overheard a student
remark that the professor s wig was uncombed. That same
student, on that very day, had occasion to preach a sermon
before the Doctor, for which he received a bit of severe
criticism, the sting of which was in its tail : " You said
my wig wasna kaimed this mornin , my lad, but I think
I ve redd your head to you."

The Rev. John Heugh of Stirling was one day admonish
ing one of his people of the sin of intemperance : "Man,
John, you should never drink except when you re dry."
Weel, sir," quoth John, " that s what I m aye doin , for I
am never slocken d."

The Rev. Mr. M of Bathgate came up to a street-

paviour one day, and addressed him, " Eh, John, what s
this you re at ? " Oh ! I m mending the ways o Bath-
gate ! ): " Ah, John, I ve long been trying to mend the ways
o Bathgate, an they re no weel yet." " Weel, Mr. M., if
you had tried my plan, and come doon to your knees, ye
wad maybe hae come mair speed ! ?:

There once lived in Cupar a merchant whose store COB

302 MEMINISCENCES OF

tained supplies of every character and description, so that
he was commonly known by the sobriquet of Robbie
A. Thing. One day a minister, who was well known for
a servile use of MS. in the pulpit, called at the store, asking
for a rope and pin to tether a young calf in the glebe.
Robbie at once informed him that he could not furnish
such articles to him. But the minister, being somewhat
importunate, said, " Oh ! I thought you were named Robbie
A Thing from the fact of your keeping all kinds of goods."
" Weel a weel," said Robbie, " I keep a thing in my shop
but calf s tether-pins and paper sermons for ministers to
read."

It was a somewhat whimsical advice, supported by whim
sical argument, which used to be given by an old Scottish
minister to young preachers, when they visited from home,
to " sup well at the kail, for if they were good they were
worth the supping, and if not they might be sure there
was not much worth coming after them."

A good many families in and around Dunblane rejoice
in the patronymic of Dochart. This name, which sounds
somewhat Irish, is derived from Loch Dochart, in Perth
shire. The McGregors having been proscribed, were sub
jected to severe penalties, and a group of the clan having
been hunted by their superiors, swam the stream which
issues from Loch Dochart, and in gratitude to the river
they afterwards assumed the family name of Dochart. A
young lad of this name, on being sent to Glasgow College,
presented a letter from his minister to Rev. Dr. Heugh of
Glasgow. He gave his name as Dochart, and the name in
the letter was M Gregor. " Oh," said the Doctor, " I fear
there is some mistake about your identity, the names don t
agree." " Weel, sir, that s the way they spell the name in
our country. 1

The relative whom I have mentioned as supplying
so many Scottish anecdotes had many stories of a
parochial functionary whose eccentricities have, in a
<rreat measure, given way before the assimilating

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 303

spirit of the times. I mean the old SCOTTISH BEADLE,
or betheral, as he used to be called. Some classes of
men are found to have that nameless but distinguish-

\^f

ing characteristic of figure and aspect which marks
out particular occupations and professions of man
kind. This was so much the case in the betheral
class, that an old lady, observing a well-known judge
and advocate walking together in the street, remarked
to a friend as they passed by, " Dear me, Lucy, wha
are thae twa leddle-looking bodies !" They were
often great originals, and, I suspect, must have been
in past times somewhat given to convivial habits,
from a remark I recollect of the late Baron Clerk
Eattray, viz. that in his younger days he had hardly
ever known a perfectly sober betheral. However
this may have been, they were, as a class, remark
able for quaint humour, and for being shrewd ob
servers of what was going on. I have heard of an
occasion where the betheral made his wit furnish an
apology for his want of sobriety. He had been sent
round the parish by the minister to deliver notices at
all the houses, of the catechising which was to pre
cede the preparation for receiving the communion.
On his return it was quite evident that he had par
taken too largely of refreshment since he had been
on his expedition. The minister reproached him for
this improper conduct. The betheral pleaded the
pressing hospitality of the parishioners The clergy
man did not admit the plea, and added, u Now. John,
I go through the parish, and you don t see me return
fou, as you have done." " Ay, minister," rejoined
the betheral, with much complacency, " but then
aiblins ye re no sae popular i the parish as me."

My relative used to tell of one of these officials re
ceiving, with much ceremony, a brother betheral, from

304 REMINISCENCES OP

a neighbouring parish, who had come with the minis
ter thereof for the purpose of preaching on some special
occasion. After service, the betheral of the stranger
clergyman felt proud of the performance of the ap
pointed duty, and said in a triumphant tone to his
friend, " I think oor minister did weel ; ay, he gars the
stour flee oot o the cushion." To which the other
rejoined, with a calm feeling of superiority, " Stour
oot o the cushion ! hout, our minister, sin he cam wi ;
us, has dung the guts oot o twa Bibles." Another
description I have heard of an energetic preacher more
forcible than delicate " Eh, oor minister had a great
power o watter, for he grat, and spat, and swat like
mischeef." An obliging anonymous correspondent
has sent me a story of a functionary of this class
whose pride was centred not so much in the perform
ance of the minister as of the precentor. He states
that he remembers an old beadle of the church which
was called " Haddo s Hole," and sometimes the " Little
Kirk," in Edinburgh, whose son occasionally officia
ted as precentor. He was not very well qualified
for the duty, but the father had a high opinion of his
son s vocal powers. In those days there was always
service in the church on the Tuesday evenings ; and
when the father was asked on such occasions, " Who s
to preach to-night ? >; his self-complacent reply used to
be, " I divna ken wha s till preach, but my son s for
till precent." The following is a more correct version
of a betheral story than one which occupied this page
in the last edition. The beadle had been asked to
recommend a person for the same office, and his
answer was, " If ye had wanted twa or three bits o
elder bodies, I cud hae gotten them for ye as easily as
penny baps oot of Mr. Rowan s shop," pointing to a
baker s shop opposite to where the colloquy took place ;

SCOTTISH LIFE <t- CHARACTER. 805

or even if ye had wanted a minister, I might hae
helpit ye to get ane ; but as for a gude beadle, that s
about the maist difficult thing I ken o just now."

Perhaps the following may seem to illustrate the
self-importance of the betheral tribe. The Eev. Dr.
Hugh Blair was one Sunday absent from his pulpit,
and next morning meeting his beadle in the street he
inquired how matters went in the High Church on
Sabbath. " Deed, I dare say no very weel," was the
answer ; " I wasna there ony mair than yoursell."

Mr. Turnbull of Dundee kindly sends me an excel
lent anecdote of the " Betheral type, which illus
trates the esprit de corps of the betherelian mind,
The late Dr. Robertson of Glasgow had, while in
the parish of Mains, a quaint old church attend
ant of the name of Walter Nicoll, commonly called
"Watty Nuckle," whom he invited to come and
visit him after he had been removed to Glasgow.

o

Watty accordingly ventured on the (to him) terrible
journey, and was received by the Doctor with great
kindness. The Doctor, amongst other sights, took
him to see the Cathedral church, and showed him all
through it, and after they were coming away the
Doctor asked Watty what he thought of it, and if it
was not better than the Mains church. Watty shook
his head, and said, " Aweel, sir, you see she s bigger ;
but she has nae laft, and she s sair fashed wi thae
pillars."

On the same subject of beadle peculiarities, I have re
ceived from Mrs. Mearns of Kineff Manse an exquisitely
characteristic illustration of beadle professional habits
being made to bear upon the tender passion : A
certain beadle had fancied the manse housemaid, but
at a loss for an opportunity to declare himself, one
day a Sunday when his duties were ended, he

306 REMINISCENCES OF

looked sheepish, and said, " Mary, wad ye tak a turn,
Mary?" He led her to the churchyard, and pointing
with his finger, got out, " My fowk lie there, Mary :
wad ye like to lie there ?" The grave hint was taken,
and she became his wife, but does not yet lie there.

Here is another good example of betheral refinement
or philosophy. He was carefully dressing up a grave,
and adjusting the turf upon it. The clergyman, pass
ing through the churchyard, observed, " That s beauti
ful sod, Jeems." "Indeed is t, minister, and I grudge
it upon the grave o sic a scamp."

This class of functionaries were very free in their
remarks upon the preaching of strangers, who used
occasionally to occupy the pulpit of their church
the city betherals speaking sometimes in a most
condescending manner of clergy from the provincial
parishes. As, for example, a betheral of one of the
large churches in Glasgow, criticising the sermon of a
minister from the country who had been preaching
in the city church, characterised it as " glide coorse
country wark." A betheral of one of the churches
of St. Giles, Edinburgh, used to call on the family of
Mr. Eobert Stevenson, engineer, who was one of the
elders. On one occasion they asked him what had
been the text on such a night, when none of the
family had been present. The man of office, confused
at the question, and unwilling to show anything like
ignorance, poured forth, " Weel, ye see, the text last
day was just entirely, sirs yes the text, sirs what
was it again? ou ay, just entirely, ye see it was,
What profiteth a man if he lose the world, and gain
his own souH" Most of such stories are usually of
an old standing. A more recent one has been told
me of a betheral of a royal burgh much decayed
from former importance, and governed by a feeble

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 307

municipality of old men, who continued in office, and
in fact constituted rather the shadow than the
substance of a corporation. A clergyman from a
distance having come to officiate in the parish church,
the betheral, knowing the terms on which it was
usual for the minister officiating to pray for the
efficiency of the local magistracy, quietly cautioned
the clergyman before service that, in regard to the
town-council there, it would be quite out of place for
him to pray that they should be a " terror to evil
doers," because, as he said, "the puir auld bodies
could be nae terror to onybody." A minister of
Easter Anstruther, during the last century, used to
say of the magistrates of Wester Anstruther, that
"instead of being a terror to evil-doers, evil-doers
were a terror to them."

The "minister s man 1 was a functionary well
known in many parishes, and who often evinced
much Scottish humour and original character. These
men were (like the betheral) great critics of sermons,
and often severe upon strangers, sometimes with a
sly hit at their own minister. One of these, David,
a well-known character, complimenting a young
minister who had preached, told him, " Your intro
duction, sir, is aye grand ; its worth a the rest o the
sermon could ye no mak it a introduction?"

David s criticisms of his master s sermons were
sometimes sharp enough and shrewd. On one
occasion, driving the minister home from a neighbour
ing church where he had been preaching, and who,
as he thought, had acquitted himself pretty well,
inquired of David what he thought of it. The
subject of discourse had been the escape of the
Israelites from Egypt. So David opened his criticism
"Thocht o t, sir? deed I thocht nocht o t ava. It

308 REMINISCENCES OF

was a vara imperfect discourse in ma opinion ; ye did
weel eneuch till ye took them through, but where
did ye leave them 1 ? just daunerin o the sea-shore
without a* place to gang till. Had it no been for
Pharaoh they had been better on the other side,
where they were comfortably encampit, than daunerin
where ye left them. It s painful to hear a sermon
stoppit afore it s richt ended, just as it is to hear
ane streekit out lang after it s dune. That s ma
opinion o the sermon ye gied us to-day." "Very
freely given, David, very freely given; drive on a
little faster, for I think ye re daunerin noo yersell."

To another who had gone through a long course
of parish official life a gentleman one day remarked
" John, ye hae been sae lang about the minister s
hand that I dare say ye could preach a sermon yersell
now." To which John modestly replied, " na, sir,
I couldna preach a sermon, but maybe I could draw
an inference. * "Well, John," said the gentleman,
humouring the quiet vanity of the beadle, " what
inference could ye draw frae this text, *A wild ass
snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure V ( Jer. ii. 24).
" Weel, sir, I wad draw this inference, he would snuff
a lang time afore he would fatten upon t." I had an
anecdote from a friend, of a reply from a betheral to
the minister in church, which was quaint and amusing
from the shrewd self-importance it indicated in his
own acuteness. The clergyman had been annoyed
during the course of his sermon by the restlessness
and occasional whining of a dog, which at last began
to bark outright. He looked out for the beadle, and
directed him very peremptorily, "John, carry that
dog out." John, looked up to the pulpit, and with
a very knowing expression, said, "Na, na, sir; Fse
just mak him gae out on his ain four legs." I have

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 309

another story of canine misbehaviour in church. A
dog was present during the service, and in the sermon
the worthy minister was in the habit of speaking
very loud, and, in fact, when he got warmed with his
subject, of shouting almost at the top of his voice.
The dog, who, in the early part, had been very quiet,
became quite excited, as is not uncommon ,with some
dogs when hearing a noise, and from whinging and
whining, as the speaker s voice rose loud and strong,
at last began to bark and howl. The minister,
naturally much annoyed at the interruption, called
upon the betheral to put out the dog, who at once
expressed his readiness to obey the order, but could
not resist the temptation to look up to the pulpit,
and to say very significantly, "Ay, ay, sir; but
indeed it was yersell began it." There is a dog story
connected with Reminiscences of Glasgow (see
Chambers s Journal, March 1855), which is full of
meaning. The bowls of rum-punch which so remark
ably characterised the Glasgow dinners of last
century and the early part of the present, it is to be
feared made some of the congregation given to
somnolency on the Sundays following. The members
of the town-council often adopted Saturday for such
meetings; accordingly, the Rev. Mr. Thorn, an
excellent clergyman,* took occasion to mark this
propensity with some acerbity. A dog had been
very troublesome, and disturbed the congregation for
some time, when the minister at last gave orders to
the beadle, "Take out that dog; he d wauken a
Glasgow magistrate."

It was of this minister, Mr. Thorn of Govan, that Sir
Walter Scott remarked "that he had demolished all his own
chances of a Glasgow benefice, by preaching before the town
council from a text in Hosea, Ephraim s drink is sour.

2D

810 REMINISCENCES OF

The parochial gravediggers had sometimes a very
familiar professional style of dealing with the solemn
subjects connected with their office. Thus I have
heard of a gravedigger pointing out a large human
bone to a lady who was looking at his work, of digging
a grave, and asking her D ye ken wha s bane that
is, mem ? that s Jenny Eraser s hench-bane ; add
ing with a serious aspect " a weel-baned family thae
Erasers."

It would be impossible in these Reminiscences to
omit the well-known and often repeated anecdote con
nected with an eminent divine of our own country,
whose works take a high place in our theological
literature. The story to which I allude was rendered
popular throughout the kingdom some years ago, by
the inimitable mode in which it was told, or rather
acted, by the late Charles Matthews. But Matthews
was wrong in the person of whom he related the
humorous address. I have assurance of the parties
from a friend, whose father, a distinguished clergyman
in the Scottish Church at the time, had accurate
knowledge of the whole circumstances. The late cele
brated Dr. Macknight, a learned and profound scholar
and commentator, was nevertheless, as a preacher,
to a great degree heavy, unrelieved by fancy or imagi
nation ; an able writer, but a dull speaker. His col
league, Dr. Henry, well known as the author of a
History of England, was, on the other hand, a man of
great humour, and could not resist a joke when the
temptation came upon him. On one occasion when
coming to church, Dr. Macknight had been caught in
a shower of rain, and entered the vestry soaked with
wet. Every means were used to relieve him from his
discomfort ; but as the time drew on for divine service
he became much distressed, and ejaculated over and

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 511

over, " Oh, I wush that I was dry ; do you think I m
dry 1 do you think I m dry eneuch noo ? His jocose
colleague could resist no longer, but, patting him on
the shoulder, comforted him with the sly assurance,
" Bide a wee, Doctor, and ye se be dry eneuch when ye
get into the pu pit."

Another quaint remark of the facetious doctor to
his more formal colleague has been preserved by
friends of the family. Dr. Henry, who with all his
pleasantry and abilities, had himself as little popu
larity in the pulpit as his coadjutor, had been remark
ing to Dr. Macknight what a blessing it was that they
were two colleagues in one charge, and continued
dwelling on the subject so long, that Dr. Mackuight,
not quite pleased at the frequent reiteration of the
remark, said that it certainly was a great pleasure to
himself, but he did not see what great benefit it
might be to the world. " Ah," said Dr. Henry, " an
it hadna been for that, there wad hae been twa toom *
kirks this day." Lord Cockburn tells a characteristic
anecdote of Dr. Henry s behaviour the last day of his
life. I am indebted to a gentleman, himself also a
distinguished member of the Scottish Church, for an
authentic anecdote of this learned divine, and which
occurred whilst Dr. Macknight was the minister of
Maybole. One of his parishioners, a well-known
humorous blacksmith of the parish, who, no doubt,
thought that the Doctor s learned books were rather
a waste of time and labour for a country pastor, was
asked if his minister was at home. The Doctor was
then busy bringing out his laborious and valuable
work, his Harmony of the Four Gospels. " Na, he s
gane to Edinburgh on a verra useless job." On being
asked what this useless work might be which engaged

* Empty.

312 REMINISCENCES OF

his pastor s time and attention, he answered, "He s
gane to mak four men agree wha ne er cast oot."
The good-humoured and candid answer of a learned
and rather long-winded preacher of the old school
always appeared to me quite charming. The good
man was far from being a popular preacher, and yet
he could not reduce his discourses below the hour and
a half. On being asked, as a gentle hint of their
possibly needless length, if he did not feel tired after
preaching so long, he replied, " JSTa, na, I m no tired ;
adding, however, with much naivete" , " But, Lord, how
tired the fowk whiles are."

The late good kind-hearted Dr. David Dickson was
fond of telling a story of a Scottish termagant of the
days before kirk-session discipline had passed away.
A couple were brought before the court, and Janet,
the wife, was charged with violent and undutiful
conduct, and with wounding her husband by throwing
a three-legged stool at his head. The minister re
buked her conduct, and pointed out its grievous
character, by explaining that just as Christ was head
of his Church, so the husband was head of the wife :
and therefore in assaulting him, she had in fact injured
her own body. " Weel," she replied, " it s come to a
fine pass gin a wife canna kame her ain head ; Ay,
but, Janet," rejoined the minister, "a three-legged
stool is a thief-like bane-kame to scart yer ain head

wi !

The following is a dry Scottish case, of a minister s
wife quietly " kaming her husband s head." Mr. Mair,
a Scotch minister, was rather short-tempered, and
had a wife named Rebecca, whom for brevity s sake
he addressed as "Becky." He kept a diary, and
among other entries, this one was very frequent
" Becky and I had a rippet, for which 1 desire to be

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 813

humble." A gentleman who had been on a visit to
the minister went to Edinburgh, and told the story
to a minister and his wife there; when the lady replied
" Weel, he must have been an excellent man, Mr. Mair.
My husband and I sometimes too have rippets/ but
catch him if he s ever humble. 1

Our object in bringing up and recording anecdotes
of this kind is to elucidate the sort of humour we
refer to, and to show it as a humour of past times.
A modern clergyman could hardly adopt the tone
and manner of the older class of ministers men not
less useful and beloved, on account of their odd Scot
tish humour, which indeed suited their time. Could
a clergyman, for instance, now come off from the
trying position in which we have heard of a northern
minister being placed, and by the same way through
which he extricated himself with much good nature and
quiet sarcasm ? A young man, sitting opposite to him
in the front of the gallery, had been up late on the
previous night, and had stuffed the* cards with which
he had been occupied into his coat pocket. Forget
ting the circumstance, he pulled out his handkerchief,
and the cards all flew about. The minister simply
looked at him, and remarked, " Eh, man, your psalm -
buik has been ill bund."

An admirable story of a quiet pulpit rebuke is
traditionary in Fife, and is told of Mr Shirra, a
Seceding minister of Kirkcaldy, a man still well remem
bered by some of the older generation for many
excellent and some eccentric qualities. A young
officer of a volunteer corps on duty in the place, very
proud of his fresh uniform, had come to Mr. Shirra s
church, and walked about as if looking for a seat,
but in fact to show off his dress, which he saw was
attracting attention from some of the less grave

314 REMINISCENCES OP

members of the congregation. He came to his place,
however, rather quickly, on Mr. Shirra quietly re
monstrating, " O man, will ye sit doun, and we ll see
your new breeks when the kirk s dune." This same
Mr. Shirra was well known from his quaint, and, as
it were, parenthetical comments which he introduced
in his reading of Scripture ; as, for example, on read
ing from the 1 1 6th Psalm, " I said in my haste all
men are liars," he quietly observed, " Indeed, Dauvid,
my man, an ye had been i this parish ye might hae
said it at your leisure."

There was something even still more pungent in
the incidental remark of a good man, in the course of
his sermon, who had in a country place taken to
preaching out of doors in the summer afternoons.
He used to collect the people as they were taking air
by the side of a stream outside the village. On one
occasion he had unfortunately taken his place on a
bank, and fixed himself on an ants nest. The active
habits of those little creatures soon made the position
of the intruder upon their domain very uncomfortable :
and, afraid that his audience might observe something
of this discomfort in his manner, he apologised by
the remark "Brethren, though I hope I have the
word of God in my mouth, I think the deil himself
has gotten into my breeks."

There was often no doubt a sharp conflict of wits
when some of these humorist ministers came into
collision with members of their flocks who were also
humorists. Of this nature is the following anecdote,
which I am assured is genuine : A minister in the
north was taking to task one of his hearers who was
a frequent defaulter, and was reproaching him as a
habitual absentee from public worship. The accused
vindicated himself on the plea of a dislike to long

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 315

sermons. " Deed, man," said the reverend monitor ;
a little nettled at the insinuation thrown out against
himself, "if ye dinna mend, ye may land yersell
where yell no be troubled wi mony sermons either
lang or short." " Weel, aiblins sae," retorted John,
" but that mayna be for want o ministers."

An answer to another clergyman, Mr. Shireff,
parochial minister of St. Ninian s, is indicative of
Scottish and really clever wit. One of the members
of his church was John Henderson or Anderson a
very decent douce shoemaker and who left the
church and joined the Independents, who had a
meeting in Stirling. Some time afterwards, when
Mr. Shireif met John on the road, he said, " And so,
John, I understand you have become an Independent V
" Deed, sir, 7 replied John, " that s true." " Oh, John,"
said the minister, " I m sure you ken that a rowin
(rolling) stane gathers nae fog (moss). " Ay," said
John, " that s true too ; but can ye tell me what guid
the fog does to the stane T Mr. Shireff himself
afterwards became a Baptist. The wit, however, was
all in favour of the minister in the following :

Dr. Gilchrist, formerly of the East Parish of
Greenock, and who died minister of the Canongate,
Edinburgh, received an intimation of one of his hearers
who had been exceedingly irregular in his attendance
that he had taken seats in an Episcopal chapel. One
day soon after, he met his former parishioner, who
told him candidly that he had " changed his religion."
"Indeed," said the Doctor quietly; "how s that] I
ne er heard ye had ony." It was this same Dr.
Gilchrist who gave the well-known quiet but forcible
rebuke to a young minister whom he considered rather
conceited and fond of putting forward his own doings,
and who was to officiate in the Doctor s church.

876 REMINISCENCES OF

He explained to him the mode in which he usually
conducted the service, and stated that he always
finished the prayer before the sermon with the Lord s
Prayer. The young minister demurred at this, and
asked if he "might not introduce any other short
prayer?" "Ou ay," was the Doctor s quiet reply,
" gif ye can gie us onything letter"

There is a story current of a sharp hit at the pre
tensions of a minister who required a little set down.
The scene was on a Monday by a burn near Inverness.
A stranger is fishing by a burn-side one Monday
morning, when the parish minister accosts him from
the other side of the stream thus : "Good sport 1"
" Not very." " I am also an angler," but, pompously,
" I am & fisher of men." " Are you always successful ?"
" Not very." " So I guessed, as I keeked into your
creel* yesterday."

At Banchory, on Deeside, some of the criticisms
and remarks on sermons were very quaint and charac
teristic. My cousin had asked the Leys grieve what
he thought of a young man s preaching, who had
been more successful in appropriating the words than
the ideas of Dr. Chalmers. He drily answered, " Ou,
Sir Thomas, just a floorish o the surface." But the
same hearer bore this unequivocal testimony to
another preacher whom he really admired. He was
asked if he did not think the sermon long : " Na, I
should nae hae thocht it lang an I d been sitting on
thorns/

I think the following is about as good a sample of
what we call Scotch "pawky" as any I know : A
countryman had lost his wife and a favourite cow on
the same day His friends consoled him for the loss
of the wife ; and being highly respectable, several

* Basket for fish.

HIS DAY AT THE PLATE

From a water-colour drawing by

HENRY W. KERR,
A.R.S.A., R.S.W.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 317

hints and offers were made towards getting another
for him. " Ou ay," he at length replied ; " you re a
keen aneuch to get me anither wife, but no yin o ye
offers to gie me anither coo."

The following anecdotes, collected from different
contributors, are fair samples of the quaint and original
character of Scottish ways and expressions, now
becoming more and more matters of reminiscence :
A poor man came to his minister for the purpose
of intimating his intention of being married. As he
expressed, however, some doubts on the subject, and
seemed to hesitate, the minister asked him if there
were any doubts about his being accepted. No, that
was not the difficulty ; but he expressed a fear that
it might not be altogether suitable, and he asked
whether, if he were once married, he could not (in
case of unsuitability and unhappiness) get wmiarried.
The clergyman assured him that it was impossible ;
if he married, it must be for better and worse ; that
he could not go back upon the step. So thus instructed
he went away. After a time he returned, and said
he had made up his mind to try the experiment, and
he came and was married. Ere Jong he came back
very disconsolate, and declared it would not do at
all ; that he was quite miserable, and begged to be
unmarried. The minister assured him that was out
of the question, and urged him to put away the notion
of anything so absurd. The man insisted that the
marriage could not hold good, for the wife was " waur
than the deevil." The minister demurred, saying
that it was quite impossible. " Deed, sir," said the
poor man, " the Bible tells ye that if ye resist the
deil he flees frae ye, but if ye resist her she flees at ye."

A faithful minister of the gospel, being one day
engaged in visiting some members of his flock, came

818 REMINISCENCES OF

to the door of a house where his gentle tapping could
not be heard for the noise of contention within.
After waiting a little he opened the door, and walked
in, saying, with an authoritative voice, " I should like
to know who is the head of this house." " Weel, sir/
said the husband and father, " if ye sit doun a wee,
we ll maybe be able to tell ye, for we re just trying to
settle that point/

I have received from my kind correspondent, Rev.
Mr. Hogg of Kirkmahoe, the folio wing, most amusing
account of a passage-at-arms between a minister and
"minister s man," both of them of the old school.
The minister of a parish in Dumfriesshire had a man
who had long and faithfully served at the manse.
During the minister s absence, a ploughing match
came off in the district, and the man, feeling the old
spirit return with the force of former days, wished to
enter the lists, and go in for a prize, which he did, and
gained the fifth prize. The minister, on his return
home, and glancing at the local newspaper, saw the
report of the match, and the name of his own man in
the prize-list. Being of a crusty temper, he rang the
bell in fury, and summoned John, when the following
colloquy took place : " John, how is this 1 who gave
you leave to go to the ploughing-match 1" "You
were not at hame, sir." "Well, you should have
written to me." " 1 didn t think it was worth while,
sir, as we had our ain ploughing forrit"* "That
may be ; but why were- you not higher in the prize-
list ? I m ashamed of you, and you ought to be
ashamed of yourself for being so far behind." John s
patience had given way, and, in his haste he burst
forth, " Indeed, I m thinking, sir, that if ye were at a

* Well advanced

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 519

preaching match, and five -and- thirty in the field, ye
wadna come in for anything, let a-be for a fiftV

Stories of humorous encounters between ministers
and their hearers are numerous, and though often
seasoned with dry and caustic humour, they never
indicate appearance of bitterness or ill-feeling between
the parties. As an example, a clergyman thought his
people were making rather an unconscionable objec
tion to his using a MS. in delivering his sermon. They
urged, " What gars ye tak up your bit papers to the
pu pit 1 He replied that it was best, for really he
could not remember his sermon, and must have his
papers. "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect
that we can remember them."

Some of these encounters arise out of the old ques
tion of sleeping in church. For example "I see,
James, that you tak a bit nap in the kirk," said a
minister to one of his people; "can ye no tak a mull
with you 1 and when you become heavy an extra pinch
would keep you up." "Maybe it wad," said James,
" but pit you the sneeshin intil your sennon, minister,
and maybe that ll serve the same purpose." As a
specimen of the matter-of-fact view of religious ques
tions frequently recorded of older ministers, let
me adduce a well- authenticated account of a minister
in a far up-hill parish in Deeside. Eeturning thanks
one Sabbath for the excellent harvest, he began as
usual, " Lord, we thank thee," etc., and went on to
mention its abundance, and its safe ingathering ; but,
feeling anxious to be quite candid and scrupulously
truthful, added, " all except a few sma bitties at Birse
no worth o mentioning."

A Scotch preacher, a man of large stature, being sent
to officiate one Sunday at a country parish, was accom
modated at night, in the manse, in a very diminutive

S20 REMINISCENCES OF

closet the usual best bed-room, appropriated to
strangers, being otherwise occupied. " Is this the
bed-room?" he said, starting back in amazement.
" Deed ay, sir, this is the prophets chalmer." " It
maun be for the minor prophets, then," was the quiet
reply.

Elders of the kirk, no doubt, frequently partook of
the original and humorous character of ministers and
others, their contemporaries ; and amusing scenes
must have passed, and good Scotch sayings been said,
where they were concerned. Dr. Chalmers used to
repeat one of these sayings of an elder with great
delight. The Doctor associated with the anecdote the
name of Lady Grlenorchy and the church which she
endowed ; but I am assured that the person was Lady
Elizabeth Cunninghame, sister of Archibald, eleventh
Earl of Egliriton, and wife of Sir John Cunninghame,
Bart., of Caprington, near Kilmarnock. It seems her
ladyship had, for some reason, taken offence at the
proceedings of the Caprington parochial authorities,
and a result of which was that she ceased putting her
usual liberal offering into the plate at the door. This
had gone on for some time, till one of the elders, of
less forbearing character than the others, took his turn
at the plate. Lady Elizabeth as usual passed by
without a contribution, but made a formal courtsey to
the elder at the plate, and sailed up the aisle. The
good man was determined not to let her pass so easily,
so he quickly followed her, and urged the remon
strance : " Gie us mair o your siller and less o your
mainners, my lady Betty." My kind correspondent,
Rev. Mr. Agnew, supplies me with an amusing pendant
to this anecdote : At a great church meeting, Dr.
Chalmers had told this story with much effect when
Lord Galloway was in the chair. After the meeting,

SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 3 21

Dr. Chalmers, and many who had been present, dined
at his lordship s hospitable table. After dinner, when
the morning meeting was discussed, Lord Galloway
addressed Dr. Chalmers on the subject of this story
and, as if not quite pleased at its being introduced,
said, "Do you know, Doctor, the lady of whom you
told the story of the elder is a near relation of mine ?"
Dr. Chalmers, with real or seeming simplicity, answered,
" No, my Lord, I did not ; but next time I tell the
story I can mention the fact." As a pendant to the
elder s disclaimer of " mainners " on the part of a lady
of rank, I may add an authentic anecdote of a very
blunt and unpolished Kincardineshire laird, expressing
the same disclaimer of mainners on the part of a servant,
but in a far rougher form of speech. He had been
talking with a man who came to offer for his service
as a butler. But the laird soon found he was far too
grand a gentleman for his service, and became chafed
with his requiring so many things as conditions of
coming ; till, on his dismissal, when the man was
bowing and scraping to show how genteel he could
be, he lost all patience, and roared out, " Get out, ye
fule ; gie us nane o your mainners here."

Of an eccentric and eloquent professor and divine
of a northern Scottish university, there are numerous
and extraordinary traditionary anecdotes. I have
received an account of some of these anecdotes from
the kind communication of an eminent Scottish clergy
man, who was himself in early days his frequent
hearer. The stories told of the strange observations
and allusions which he introduced into his pulpit
discourses almost surpass belief. For many reasons,
they are not suitable to the nature of this publication,
still less could they be tolerated in any pulpit
administration now, although familiar with his con-

322 REMINISCENCES OF

temporaries. The remarkable circumstance, however,
connected with these eccentricities was, that he
introduced them with the utmost gravity, and often
times, after he had delivered them, pursued his subject
with great earnestness and eloquence, as if he had said
nothing uncommon. One saying of the professor,
however, out of the pulpit, is too good to be omitted,
and may be recorded without violation of propriety.
He happened to meet at the house of a lawyer, whom
he considered rather a man of sharp practice, and for
whom he had no great favour, two of his own parish
ioners. The lawj^er jocularly and ungraciously put
the question ; " Doctor, these are members of your
flock ; may I ask, do you look upon them as white
sheep or as black sheep ] " I don t know," answered
the professor drily, " whether they are black or white
sheep, but I know that if they are long here they are
pretty sure to be fleeced."

It was a pungent answer given by a Free Kirk
member who had deserted his colours and returned to
the old faith. A short time after the Disruption, the
Free Church minister chanced to meet him who had
then left him and returned to the Established Church.
The minister bluntly accosted him " Ay, man, John,
an -ye ve left us ; what micht be your reason for that ?
Did ye think it wasna a guid road we was gaun 1
" Ou, I daursay it was a guid eneuch road and a braw
road ; but, minister, the tolls were unco high."

The* following story I received from a member of
the Penicuik family : Dr. Ritchie, who died minister
of St. Andrews, Edinburgh, was, when a young man,
tutor to Sir G. Clerk and his brothers. Whilst with
them, the clergyman of the parish became unable, from
infirmity and illness, to do his duty, and Mr. Ritchie
was appointed interim assistant. He was an active

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 323

young man, and during his residence in the country
had become fond of fishing, and was a good shot.
When the grouse-shooting came round, his pupils
happened to be laid up with a fever, so Mr. Ritchie
had all the shooting to himself. One day he walked
over the moor so far that he became quite weary and
footsore. On returning home he went into a cottage,
where the good woman received him kindly, gave
him water for his feet, and refreshment. In the
course of conversation, he told her he was acting as
assistant minister of the parish, and he explained how
far he had travelled in pursuit of game, how weary he
was, and how completely knocked up he was. " Weel,
sir, I dinna doubt ye maun be sair travelled and tired
wi your walk." And then she added, with sly
reference to his profession, " Deed, sir, I m thinkin
ye micht hae travelled frae Genesis to Revelation and
no been sae forfauchten." *

Scotch people in general are, like this old woman,
very jealous, as might be expected, of ministers join
ing the sportsman to their pastoral character. A
proposal for the appointment of a minister to a
particular parish, who was known in the country as a
capital shot, called forth a rather neat Scottish pun,
from an old woman of the parish, who significantly
observed, " Deed, KUpaatrick would hae been a mair
appropriate place for him." Paatrick is Scotch for
partridge.

I cannot do better in regard to the three following

o <^>

anecdotes of the late Professor Gillespie of St.
Andrews, than give them to my readers in the words
with which Dr. Lindsay Alexander kindly communi
cated them to me.

"In the Cornhill Magazine for March 1860, in

* Wearied.

S24 REMINISCENCES OF

an article on Student Life in Scotland, there is
an anecdote of the late Professor Gillespie of St.
Andrews, which is told in such a way as to miss the
point and humour of the story. The correct version,
as I have heard it from the professor himself, is this :
Having employed the village carpenter to put a frame
round a dial at the manse of Cults, where he was a
minister, he received from the man a bill to the follow
ing effect : To fencing the deil, 5s. 6d. When I
paid him, said the professor, 1 1 could not help saying,
John, this is rather more than I counted on ; but I
haven t a word to say. I get somewhere about two
hundred a year for fencing the deil, and I m afraid I
don t do it half so effectually as you ve done.

" Whilst I am writing, another of the many stories
of the learned and facetious professor rises in my mind.
There was a worthy old woman at Cults whose place in
church was what is commonly called the Lateran ; a
kind of small gallery at the top of the pulpit steps.
She was a most regular attender, but as regularly fell
asleep during sermon, of which fault the preacher had
sometimes audible intimation. It was observed, how
ever, that though Janet always slept during her own
pastor s discourse, she could be attentive enough when
she pleased, and especially was she alert when some
young preacher occupied the pulpit. A little piqued,
perhaps, at this, Mr. Gillespie said to her one day,
* Janet, I think you hardly behave very respectfully
to your own minister in one respect.* * Me, sir! ex
claimed Janet, I wad like to see ony man, no tae say
woman, by yoursell, say that o me ! what can you
mean, sir? Weel, Janet, ye ken when I preach
you re almost always fast asleep before I ve well given
out my text ; but when any of these young men from
St. Andrews preach for me, I see you never sleep a

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 325

wink. Now, that s what I call no using me as you
should do/ * Hoot, sir, was the reply, * is that a* ?
I ll sune tell you the reason o that. When you
preach, we a ken the word o God s safe in your
hands ; but when thae young birkies tak it in haun,
my certie, but it taks us a to look after them.

" I am tempted to subjoin another. In the
Humanity Class, one day, a youth who was rather
fond of showing off his powers of language, translated
Hor. Od. iii., 3, 61, 62, somewhat thus: The
fortunes of Troy renascent under sorrowful omen shall
be repeated with sad catastrophe. Catastrophe !

cried the professor. * Catastrophe, Mr. , that s

Greek. Give us it in plain English, if you please.
Thus suddenly pulled down from his high horse, the
student effected his retreat with a rather lame and
impotent version. * Now, said the professor, his
little sharp eyes twinkling with fun, that brings to
my recollection what once happened to a friend of
mine, a minister in the county. Being a scholarly
man he was sometimes betrayed into the use of words
in the pulpit which the people were not likely to
understand ; but being very conscientious, he never
detected himself in this, without pausing to give the
meaning of the word he had used, and sometimes his
extempore explanations of very fine words were a

little like what we have just had from Mr. ,

rather too flat and commonplace. On one occasion he
allowed this very word catastrophe to drop from
him, on which he immediately added, that, you know,
my friends, means the end of a thing. Next day, as
he was riding through his parish, some mischievous

I have abundant evidence to prove that a similar answer
to that which Dr. Alexander records to have been made to Mr.

Gillespie has been given on similar occasions by others.

2 E

326 REMINISCENCES OF

youth succeeded in fastening a bunch of furze to his
horse s tail a trick which, had the animal been
skittish, might have exposed the worthy pastor s
horsemanship to too severe a trial, but which happily
had no effect whatever on the sober-minded and
respectable quadruped which he bestrode. On, there
fore, he quietly jogged, utterly unconscious of the
addition that had been made to his horse s caudal
region, until, as he was passing some cottages, he was
arrested by the shrill voice of an old woman exclaim
ing, * Heh, sir ! Heh, sir ! there s a whun-buss at
your horse s catawstrophe !

I have several times adverted to the subject of
epigrams. A clever impromptu of this class has been
recorded as given by a judge s lady in reply to one
made by the witty Henry Erskine at a dinner party
at Lord Armadale s. When a bottle of claret was
called for, port was brought in by mistake. A second
time claret was sent for, and a second time the same
mistake occurred. Henry Erskine addressed the host
in an impromptu, which was meant as a parody on the
well-known Scottish song, " My Jo, Janet "

* Kind sir, it s for your courtesie

When I come here to dine, sir,
For the love ye bear to me,
Gie me the claret wine, sir."

To which Mrs. Honeyman retorted

Drink the port, the claret s dear,

Erskine, Erskine ;
Ye ll get fou on t, never fear,
My jo, Erskine."

Some of my younger readers may not be familiar
with the epigram of John Home, author of the tragedy
of " Douglas." The lines were great favourites with

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 327

Sir Walter Scott, who delighted in repeating them.
Home was very partial to claret, and could not bear
port. He was exceedingly indignant when the Govern
ment laid a tax upon claret, having previously long
connived at its introduction into Scotland under very
mitigated duties. He embodied his anger in the
following epigram :

" Firm and erect the Caledonian stood,
Old was his mutton, and his claret good ;

* Let him drink port, an English statesman cried
He drank the poison, and his spirit died. "

There is a curious story traditionary in some families
connected with the nobleman who is the subject of it,
which, I am assured, is true, and further, that it has
never yet appeared in print. The story is, therefore,
a " Scottish reminiscence," and, as such, deserves a
place here. The Earl of Lauderdale was so ill as to
cause great alarm to his friends, and perplexity to his
physicians. One distressing symptom was a total
absence of sleep, and the medical men declared their
opinion, that without sleep being induced he could not
recover. His son, a queer eccentric-looking boy, who
was considered not entirely right in his mind but
somewhat " daft" and who accordingly had had little
attention paid to his education, was sitting under the
table, and cried out, "Sen* for that preachin man
frae Livingstone, for faith er aye sleeps in the kirk."
One of the doctors thought this hint worth attending
to. The experiment of " getting a minister till him
succeeded, and, sleep coming on, he recovered. The
Earl, out of gratitude for this benefit, took more notice
of his son, paid attention to his education, and that
boy became the Duke of Lauderdale, afterwards so
famous or infamous in his country s history.

328 REMINISCENCES OF

The following very amusing anecdote, although it
belongs more properly to the division on peculiarities
of Scottish phraseology, I give in the words of a cor
respondent who received it from the parties with whom
it originated. About twenty years ago, he was paying
a visit to a cousin, married to a Liverpool merchant
of some standing. The husband had lately had a
visit from his aged father, who formerly followed the
occupation of farming in Stirlingshire, and who had
probably never been out of Scotland before in his life.
The son, finding his father rather de trop in his office,
one day persuaded him to cross the ferry over the
Mersey, and inspect the harvesting, then in full opera
tion, on the Cheshire side. On landing, he approached
a young woman reaping with the sickle in a field of
oats, when the following dialogue ensued :

Farmer. Lassie, are yer aits muckle bookit* th*
year]

Reaper. What say n yo ?

Farmer. I was speiring gif yer aits are muckle
bookit th year !

Reaper (in amazement). I dunnot know what yo
say n.

Farmer (in equal astonishment). Gude safe us,
do ye no understaan gude plain English ? are yer
aits muckle bookit 1

Keaper decamps to her nearest companion, saying
that was a madman, while he shouted in great wrath,
" They were naething else than a set o ignorant pock-
puddings."

An English tourist visited Arran, and being a keen
disciple of Izaak Walton, was arranging to have a day s
good sport. Being told that the cleg, or horse-fly,
would suit his purpose admirably for lure, he addressed

* Oats heavy in bulk.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 329

himself to Christy, the Highland servant-girl : " I
say, my girl, can you get me some horse-flies 1"
Christy looked stupid, and he repeated his question.
Finding that she did not yet comprehend him, he ex
claimed, "Why, girl, did you never see a horse-fly?"
" Naa, sir," said the girl, " but A wance saw a coo jump
ower a preshipice."

The following anecdote is highly illustrative of the
thoroughly attached old family serving-man. A cor
respondent sends it as told to him by an old school
fellow of Sir Walter Scott s at Fraser and Adam s
class, High School :

One of the lairds of Abercairnie proposed to go out,
on the occasion of one of the risings for the Stuarts, in
the 15 or 45 but this was not with the will of his
old serving-man, who, when Abercairnie was pulling
on his boots, preparing to go, overturned a kettle of
boiling water upon his legs, so as to disable him from
joining his friends saying, "Tak that let them
fecht wha like ; stay ye at hame and be laird o Aber

cairnie.

A story illustrative of a union of polite courtesy
with rough and violent ebullition of temper common
in the old Scottish character, is well known in the
Lothian family. William Henry, fourth Marquis of
Lothian, had for his guest at dinner an old countess
to whom he wished to show particular respect and
attention.* After a very complimentary reception, he
put on his white gloves to hand her down stairs,
led her up to the upper end of the table, bowed, and
retired to his own place. This I am assured was the

This Marquis of Lothian was aide-de-camp to the Duke of
Cumberland at the battle of Culloden, who sullied his character
as a soldier and a nobleman by the cruelties which he exercised
on the vanquished.

330 REMINISCENCES OF

usual custom with the chief lady guest by persons who
themselves remember it. After all were seated, the
Marquis addressed the lady, " Madam, may I have the
honour and happiness of helping your ladyship to
some fish 1 ?" But he got no answer, for the poor
woman was deaf as a post, and did not hear him.
After a pause, but still in the most courteous accents,
u Madam, have I your ladyship s permission to send
you some fish?" Then a little quicker, "Is your
Ladyship inclined to take fish?" Very quick, and
rather peremptory, " Madam, do ye choice fish ?" At
last the thunder burst, to everybody s consternation,
with a loud thump on the table and stamp on the
floor: " Con found ye, will ye have any fish ?" I
am afraid the exclamation might have been even of a
more pungent character.

A correspondent has kindly enabled me to add a
reminiscence and anecdote of a type of Scottish
character now nearly extinct. I mean the old Scottish
military officer of the wars of Holland and the Low
Countries. I give them in his own words : " My
father, the late Rev. Dr. Bethune, minister of Dornoch,
was on friendly terms with a fine old soldier, the late
Colonel Alexander Sutherland of Calmaly and Brae-
grudy, in Sutherlandshire, who was lieutenant -colonel
of the Local Militia, and who used occasionally, in
his word of command, to break out with a Gaelic
phrase to the men, much to the amusement of by
standers. He called his charger, a high-boned not over
fed animal, Cadaver a play upon accents, for he was
a good .-classical scholar, and fond of quoting the Latin
poets. But he had no relish nor respect for the
Modern languages, particularly for that of our French
neighbours, whom he looked upon as hereditary
enemies ! My father and the colonel were both poli-

SCOTTISH LIFE <t- CHARACTER. 331

ticians, as well as scholars. Reading a newspaper
article in his presence one day, my father stopped
short, handing the paper to him, and said, Colonel,
here is a French quotation, which you can translate
better than I can. No, sir! said the colonel,

never learnt the language of the scoundrels ! ! ! The
colonel was known as Col. Sandy Sutherland, and
the men always called him Colonel Sandy. He was a
splendid specimen of the hale veteran, with a sten
torian voice, and the last queue I remember to have

seen.

A correspondent kindly sends me from Aberdeen-
shire a humorous story, very much of the same sort as
that of Colonel Erskine s servant, who considerately
suggested to his master that " maybe an aith might
relieve him." My correspondent heard the story
from the late Bishop Skinner.

It was among the experiences of his father, Bishop
John Skinner. While making some pastoral visits in
the neighbourhood of the town (Aberdeen), the Bishop
took occasion to step into the cottage of two humble
parishioners, a man and his wife, who cultivated a
little croft. No one was within; but as the door
was only on the latch, the Bishop knew that the
worthy couple could not be far distant. He therefore
stepped in the direction of the outhouses, and found
them both in the barn winnowing corn, in the primitive
way, with " riddles," betwixt two open doors. On the
Bishop making his appearance, the honest man ceased
his winnowing operations, and in the gladness of his
heart stepped briskly forward to welcome his pastor ;
but in his haste he trod upon the rim of the riddle,
which rebounded with great force against one of his
shins. The accident made him suddenly pull up;
* Sir H. Moncreiff s Life of Dr. J. Erskine.

832 REMINISCENCES OF

and, instead of completing the reception, he stood
vigorously rubbing the injured limb ; and, not daring
in such a venerable presence to give vent to the
customary strong ejaculations, kept twisting his face
into all sorts of grimaces. As was natural, the Bishop
went forward, uttering the usual formulas of condolence
and sympathy, the patient, meanwhile, continuing his
rubbings and his silent but expressive contortions.
At last Janet came to the rescue ; and, clapping the
Bishop coaxingly on the back, said, " Noo, Bishop,
jist gang ye yir waas into the hoose, an we ll follow
fan he s had time to curse a fyllie, an I se warran he ll
seen be weel eneuch !

The following might have been added as examples
of the dry humorous manner in which our countrymen
and countrywomen sometimes treat matters with which
they have to deal, even when serious ones :

An itinerant vendor of wood in Aberdeen having
been asked how his wife was, replied, " Oh, she s fine ;
I hae taen her tae Banchory ;" and on it being inno
cently remarked that the change of air would do her
good, he looked up, and, with a half smile, said, " Hoot,
she s i the kirkyard."

The well-known aversion of the Scotch to hearing
read sermons has often led to amusing occurrences.
One pastor, in a country district, who was much
respected by his people, but who, nevertheless, were
never quite reconciled to his paper in the pulpit,
found himself on one occasion in an awkward predi
cament, from this same paper question. One Sabbath
afternoon, having exhausted both firstly and secondly,
he came to the termination of his discourse; but,
unfortunately, the manuscript was wanting. In vain
efforts to seek the missing paper, he repeated " thirdly
and lastly " ad nauseam to his hearers. At last one,

THE LAIRD S DAUGHTER

From a water-colour drifting by
HENRY W. KERR,

R.SM-\

SCOTTISH LIFE <t- CHARACTER. 333

cooler than the others, rose, and nodding to the
minister, observed, " Deed, sir, If I m no mista en,
I saw l thirdly and lastly fa ower the poopit stairs ;"
evidently enjoying the disappearance of so important
a part of the obnoxious document.

This prejudice was indeed some years since in
Scotland quite inveterate. The following anecdote
has been kindly sent to me from Memoirs of Charles
Young, lately published by his son :

" I have a distinct recollection, one Sunday when
I was living at Cults, and when a stranger was officiat
ing for Dr. Gillespie, observing that he had not
proceeded five minutes with his discourse, before
there was a general commotion and stampedo. The
exodus at last became so serious, that, conceiving
something to be wrong, probably a fire in the manse,
I caught the infection, and eagerly inquired of the
first person I encountered in the churchyard what
was the matter, and was told, with an expression of
sovereign scorn and disgust Losh keep ye, young
man! Hae ye eyes, and see not? Hae ye ears,
and hear not ? The man reads ! "

On one occasion, however, even this prejudice
gave way before the power of the most eloquent
preacher that Scotland ever heard, or perhaps that
the world ever heard. A shrewd old Fife hearer of
sermons had been objecting, in the usual exaggerated
language, against reading sermons in the pulpit. A
gentleman urged the case of Dr. Chalmers, in defence
of the practice. He used his paper in preaching
rigidly, and yet with what an effect he read ! All
the objector could reply to this was, "Ah, but it s
fell** reading yon."

The two following are from a correspondent who

Extraordinary.

334 REMINISCENCES OF

heard them told by the late Dr. Barclay the anatomist,
well known for his own dry Scottish humour.

A country laird, at his death, left his property in
equal shares to his two sons, who continued to live
very amicably together for many years. At length
one said to the other, " Tarn, we re gettin auld now,
you ll tak a wife, and when I dee you ll get my share
o the grund." " Na, John, you re the youngest and
maist active, you ll tak a wife, and when I dee you ll
get my share." " Od," says John, " Tarn, that s jist
the way wi you when there s ony/osA or trouble. The
deevil a thing you ll do at a ."

A country clergyman, who was not on the most
friendly terms with one of his heritors who resided in
Stirling, and who had annoyed the minister by
delay in paying him his teinds (or tithe), found it
necessary to make the laird understand that his
proportion of stipend must be paid so soon as it
became due. The payment came next term punctual
to the time. When the messenger was introduced to
the minister, he asked who he was, remarking that
he thought he had seen him before. " I am the
hangman of Stirling, sir." " Oh, just so, take a seat
till I write you a receipt. * It was evident that the
laird- had chosen this medium of communication with
the minister as an affront, and to show his spite.
The minister, however, turned the tables upon him,
sending back an acknowledgment for the payment

in these terms : " Eeceived from Mr. , by the

hands of the hangman of Stirling, his doer,* the sum
of," etc. etc.

The following story of pulpit criticism by a beadle

* In Scotland it is usual to term the law-agent or man of
business of any person his "doer."

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHAR ACT EM. 385

ased to be told, I am assured, by the late Rev. Dr.
Andrew Thomson :

A clergyman in the country had a stranger preach
ing for him one day, and meeting his beadle, he said
to him, " Well, Saunders, how did you like the
sermon to-day]" "I watna, sir; it was rather ower
plain and simple for me. I like thae sermons best
that jumbles the joodgment and confoonds the sense.
Od, sir, I never saw ane that could come up to your-
sell at that."

The epithet " canny " has frequently been applied to
our countrymen, not in a severe or invidious spirit, but
as indicating a due regard to personal interest and
safety. In the larger edition of Jamieson (see edition
of 1840) I find there are no fewer than eighteen
meanings given of this word. The following extract
from a provincial paper, which has been sent me, will
furnish a good illustration. It is headed, the
" PROPERTY QUALIFICATION," and goes on " Give a
chartist a large estate, and a copious supply of ready
money, and you make a Conservative of him. He
can then see the other side of the moon, which he
could never see before. Once, a determined Radical
in Scotland, named Davy Armstrong, left his native
village ; and many years afterwards, an old fellow
grumbler met him, and commenced the old song.
Davy shook his head. His friend was astonished,
and soon perceived that Davy was no longer a grumbler,
but a rank Tory. Wondering at the change, he was
desirous of knowing the reason. Davy quietly and
laconically replied I ve a coo (cow) noo. "

But even still more "canny was the eye to the
main chance in an Aberdonian fellow-countryman,
communicated in the following pleasant terms from
a Nairn correspondent : " I have just been reading

336 REMINISCENCES OF

your delightful Reminiscences/ which has brought
to my recollection a story I used to hear my father
tell. It was thus: A countryman in a remote
part of Aberdeenshire having got a newly-coined
sovereign in the days when such a thing was seldom
seen in his part of the country, went about showing
it to his friends and neighbours for the charge of one
penny each sight. Evil days, however, unfortunately
overtook him, and he was obliged to part with his
loved coin. Soon after, a neighbour called on him,
and asked a sight of his sovereign, at the same time
tendering a penny. Ah, man/ says he, it s gane ;
but I ll lat ye see the cloutie it was rowt in for a
bawbee. 1

There was something very simple-minded in the
manner in which a parishioner announced his canny
care for his supposed interests when he became an
elder of the kirk. The story is told of a man who
had got himself installed in the eldership, and, in
consequence, had for some time carried round the
ladle for the collections. He had accepted the office
of elder because some wag had made him believe that
the remuneration was sixpence each Sunday, with
a boll of meal at New Year s Day. When the time
arrived he claimed his meal, but was told he had
been hoaxed. " It may be sae wi the meal," he said
coolly, " but I took care o the saxpence my sell."

There was a good deal both of the pawky and the
canny in the following anecdote, which I have from
an honoured lady of the south of Scotland : " There
was an old man who always rode a donkey to his
work, and tethered him while he worked on the roads,
or whatever else it might be. It was suggested to
him by my grandfather that he was suspected of
putting it in to feed in the fields at other people s

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 33f

expense. * Eh, laird, I could never be tempted to do
that, for my cuddy winna eat onything but nettles
and thristles. One day my grandfather was riding
along the road, when he saw Andrew Leslie at work,
and his donkey up to the knees in one of his clover
fields, feeding luxuriously. * Hollo, Andrew, said
he ; 1 1 thought you told me your cuddy would eat
nothing but nettles and thistles. Ay, said he, but
he misbehaved the day ; he nearly ticket me ower
his head, sae I pat him in there just to punish him."

There is a good deal of the same sort of simple
character brought out in the two following. They
were sent to me from Golspie, and are original, as
they occurred in my correspondent s own experience.
The one is a capital illustration of thrift, the other
of kind feeling for the friendless, in the Highland
character. I give the anecdotes in my correspondent s
own words : A little boy, some twelve years of age,
came to me one day with the following message : " My
mother wants a vomit from you, sir, and she bade me
say if it will not be strong enough, she will send it
back." " Oh, Mr. Begg," said a woman to me, for
whom I was weighing two grains of calomel for a
child, " dinna be so mean wi it ; it is for a poor
faitherless bairn."

The following, from a provincial paper, contains a
very amusing recognition of a return which one of
the itinerant race considered himself conscientiously
bound to make to his clerical patron for an alms :
" A beggar, while on his rounds one day this week,
called on a clergyman (within two and a half miles of
the Cross of Kilmarnock), who, obeying the biblical
injunction of clothing the naked, offered the beggar
an old top-coat. It was immediately rolled up, and
the beggar, in going away with it under his arm,

S38 REMINISCENCES OF

thoughtfully (!) remarked, I ll hae tae gie ye a day s
heariri for this na.

The natural and self-complacent manner in which
the following anecdote brings out in the Highlander
an innate sense of the superiority of Celtic blood is
highly characteristic: A few years ago, when an
English family were visiting in the Highlands, their
attention was directed to a child crying; on their
observing to the mother it was cross, she exckimed
"Na, ria, it s nae cross, for we re baith true Hieland."

The late Mr. Grahame of Grarsock, in Strathearn,
whose grandson now " is laird himsel," used to tell,
with great unction, some thirty years ago, a story of a
neighbour of his own of a still earlier generation,
Drummond of Keltie, who, as it seems, had employed
an itinerant tailor instead of a metropolitan artist.
On one occasion a new pair of inexpressibles had
been made for the laird j they were so tight that,
after waxing hot and red in the attempt to try them
on, he let out rather savagely at the tailor, who calmly
assured him, " It s the fash n ; it s jist the fash n."
" Eh, ye haveril, is it the fashion for them no to go on ?

An English gentleman writes to me "We have
all heard much of Scotch caution, and I met once
with an instance of it which I think is worth record
ing, and which I tell as strictly original. About
1827, I fell into conversation, on board of a Stirling
steamer, with a well-dressed middle-aged man, who
told me he was a soldier of the 42d, going on leave.
He began to relate the campaigns he had gone through,
and mentioned having been at the siege of St. Sebas
tian. Ah! under Sir Thomas Graham 1 Yes,
sir; he commanded there. Well, I said, merely
by way of carrying on the crack, ( and what do you
think of him? 1 Instead of answering, ho scanned

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 839

me several times from head to foot, and from foot to
head, and then said, in a tone of the most diplomatic
caution, Yell perhaps be of the name of Grah m
yersel, sir 1 There could hardly be a better example,
either of the circumspection of a real canny Scot, or
of the lingering influence of the old patriarchal feel
ing, by which A name, a word, makes clansmen
vassals to their lord.

Now when we linger over these old stories, we
seem to live at another period, and in such reminis
cences we converse with a generation different from
our own. Changes are still going on around us.
They have been going on for some time past. The
changes are less striking as society advances, and we
find fewer alterations for us to notice. Probably
each generation will have less change to record than
the generation that preceded ; still every one who is
tolerably advanced in life must feel that, comparing
its beginning and its close, he has witnessed two
epochs, and that in advanced life he looks on a
different world from one which he can remember.
To elucidate this fact has been my present object,
and in attempting this task I cannot but feel how
trifling and unsatisfactory my remarks must seem
to many who have a more enlarged and minute
acquaintance with Scottish life and manners than I
have. But I shall be encouraged to hope for a
favourable, or at least an indulgent, sentence upon
these Reminiscences, if to any of my readers I shall
have opened a fresh insight into the subject of social
changes amongst us. Many causes have their effect
upon the habits and customs of mankind, and of late
years such causes have been greatly multiplied in
number and activity. In many persons, and in some
who have not altogether lost their national partialities,

340 REMINISCENCES OF

there is a general tendency to merge Scottish usages
and Scottish expressions into the English forms, as
being more correct and genteel. The facilities for
moving, not merely from place to place in our own
country, but from one country to another ; the spread
of knowledge and information by means of periodical
publications and newspapers ; and the incredibly low
prices at which literary works are produced, must
have great effects. Then there is the improved taste
in art, which, together with literature, has been taken
up by young men who, fifty, sixty, seventy years ago,
or more, would have known no such sources of interest,
or indeed who would have looked upon them as un
manly and effeminate. When first these pursuits were
taken up by our Scottish young men, they excited
in the north much amazement, and, I fear, contempt,
as was evinced by a laird of the old school, who, the
first time he saw a young man at the pianoforte,
asked, with evident disgust, "Can the creature sew
ony 1 evidently putting the accomplishment of play
ing the pianoforte and the accomplishment of the
needle in the same category.

The greater facility of producing books, prints, and
other articles which tend to the comfort and embel
lishment of domestic life, must have considerable
influence upon the habits and tastes of a people. I
have often thought how much effect might be traced
to the single circumstance of the cheap production of
pianofortes. An increased facility of procuring the
means of acquaintance with good works of art and
literature acts both as cause and effect. A growing
and improved taste tends to stimulate the production
of the best works of art. These, in return, foster
and advance the power of forming a due estimate of
art. In the higher department of music, for example,

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 341

the cheap rate not only of hearing compositions of
the first class, but of possessing the works of the
most eminent composers, must have had influence
upon thousands. The principal oratorios of Handel
may be purchased for as many shillings each as they
cost pounds years ago. Indeed, at that time the
very names of those immortal works were known
only to a few who were skilled to appreciate their
high beauties. Now associations are formed for
practising and studying the choral works of the great
masters.

We might indeed adduce many more causes which
seem to produce changes of habits, tastes, and associa
tions, amongst our people. For example, families do
not vegetate for years in one retired spot as they used
to do ; young men are encouraged to attain accomplish
ments, and to have other sources of interest than the
field or the bottle. Every one knows, or may know,
everything that is going on through the whole world.
There is a tendency in mankind to lose all that is pe
culiar, and in nations to part with all that distinguishes
them from each other. We hear of wonderful changes
in habits and customs where change seemed impossible.
In India and Turkey even, peculiarities and prejudices
are fading away under the influence of time. Amongst
ourselves, no doubt, one circumstance tended greatly
to call forth, and, as we may say, to develop, the pecu
liar Scotch humour of which we speak and that was
the familiarity of intercourse which took place between
persons in different positions of life. This extended
even to an occasional interchange of words between
the minister and the members of his flock during time
of service. I have two anecdotes in illustration of this
fact, which I have reason to believe are quite authentic.
In the church of Banchory on Deeside, to which J

2P

REMINISCENCES OP

have referred, a former minister always preached
without book, and being of an absent disposition,
he sometimes forgot the head of discourse on which
he was engaged, and got involved in confusion. On
one occasion, being desirous of recalling to his memory
the division of his subject, he called out to one of his
elders, a farmer on the estate of Ley, " Bush (the name
of his farm), Bush, ye re sleeping." " Na, sir, I m no
sleeping I m listening." " Weel, then, what had I
begun to say?" * 0h, ye were saying so and so."
This was enough, and supplied the minister with the
thread of his discourse ; and he went on. The other
anecdote related to the parish of Cumbernauld, the
minister of which was at the time referred to noted
for a very disjointed and rambling style of preaching,
without method or connection. His principal heritor
was the Lord Elphinstone of the time, and unfortu
nately the minister and the peer were not on good
terms, and always ready to annoy each other by sharp
sayings or otherwise. The minister on one occasion
had somewhat in this spirit called upon the beadle
to " wauken my Lord Elphinstone," upon which Lord
Elphinstone said, " I m no sleeping, minister." " In
deed you were, my lord." He again disclaimed the
sleeping. So as a test the preacher asked him, " What
I had been saying last then?" "Oh, juist wauken
Lord Elphinstone." " Ay, but what did I say before
that]" " Indeed," retorted Lord Elphinstone, "Til
gie ye a guinea if ye ll tell that yersell, minister." We
can hardly imagine the possibility of such scenes now
taking place amongst us in church. It seems as if all
men were gradually approximating to a common type
or form in their manners and views of life \ oddities
are sunk, prominences are rounded off, sharp features
are polished, and all things are becoming smooth and

SCOTTISH LI*E A CHARACTER. 348

conventional. The remark, like the effect, is general,
and extends to other countries as well as to our own.
But as we have more recently parted with our pecu
liarities of dialect, oddity, and eccentricity, it becomes
the more amusing to mark our participation in this
change, because a period of fifty years shows here a
greater contrast than the same period would show in
many other localities.

I have already referred to a custom which prevailed
in all the rural parish churches, and which I remember
in my early days at Fettercairn ; the custom I mean,
now quite obsolete, of the minister, after pronouncing
the blessing, turning to the heritors, who always occu
pied the front seats of the gallery, and making low
bows to each family. Another custom I recollect :
When the text had been given out, it was usual for
the elder branches of the congregation to hand about
their Bibles amongst the younger members, marking
the place, and calling their attention to the passage.
During service another handing about was frequent
among the seniors, and that was a circulation of the
sneeshin-mull or snuff-box. Indeed, I have heard of
the same practice in an Episcopal church, and particu
larly in one case of an ordination, where the bishop
took his pinch of snuff, and handed the mull to go
round amongst the clergy assembled for the solemn
occasion within the altar-rails.

Amongst Scottish reminiscences which do not ex
tend beyond our own recollections we may mention
the disappearance of Trinity Church in Edinburgh,
which has taken place within the last quarter of a
century. It was founded by Mary of Gueldres,
queen of James II. of Scotland, in 1446, and liberally
endowed for a provost, prebendaries, choristers, etc. It
was never completed, but the portions builtr- viz.,

344 REMINISCENCES OF

choir, transept, and central tower were amongst the
finest specimens of later Gothic work in Scotland.
The pious founder had placed it at the east end of
what was then the North Loch. She chose her own
church for the resting-place of her remains as a sanc
tuary of safety and repose. A railway parliamentary
bill, however, overrides founder s intentions and Epis
copal consecrations. Where once stood the beautiful
church of the Holy Trinity, where once the "pealing
organ" and the "full-voiced choir were daily heard
"in service high and anthems clear" where for 400
years slept the ashes of a Scottish Queen now re
sound the noise and turmoil of a railway station.

But we have another example of the uncertainty of
all earthly concerns, and one which supplies a Scottish
reminiscence belonging to the last seventy years.
Wilhelmina, Viscountess Glenorchy, during her life
time, built and endowed a church for two ministers,
who were provided with very handsome incomes.
She died 17th July 1786, and was buried on the 24th
July, aged 44. Her interment took place, by her own
direction, in the church she had founded, immediately
in front of the pulpit ; and she fixed upon that spot
as a place of security and safety, where her mortal
remains might rest in peace till the morning of the
resurrection. But alas for the uncertainty of all
earthly plans and projects for the future ! the iron
road came on its reckless course and swept the church
away. The site was required for the North British
Eailway, which passed directly over the spot where
Lady Glenorchy had been buried. Her remains were
accordingly disinterred 24th December 1844 ; and
the trustees of the church, not having yet erected a
new one, deposited the body of their foundress in the
vaults beneath St. John s Episcopal Church, and after

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 345

resting there for fifteen years, they were, in 1859,
removed to the building which is now Lady Glen-
orchy s Church.

In our reminiscences of many changes which have
taken place during fifty years in Scottish manners, it
might form an interesting section to record some pecu
liarities which remain. I mean such peculiarities as
yet linger amongst us, and still mark a difference in
some of our social habits from those of England. Some
Scottish usages die hard, and are found still to supply
amusement for southern visitors. To give a few ex
amples, persons still persist among us in calling the
head of a family, or the host, the landlord, although
he never charged his guests a halfpenny for the hospi
tality he exercises. In games, golf and curling still
continue to mark the national character cricket was
long an exotic amongst us. In many of our educa
tional institutions, however, it seems now fairly to
have taken root. We continue to call our reception
rooms "public rooms," although never used for any but
domestic purposes. Military rank is attached to ladies,
as we speak of Mrs. Lieutenant Eraser, Mrs. Captain
Scott, Mrs. Major Smith, Mrs. Colonel Campbell. On
the occasion of a death, we persist in sending circular
notices to all the relatives, whether they know of it
or not a custom which, together with men wearing
weepers at funeral solemnities, is unknown in Eng
land.* Announcing a married lady s death under her
maiden name must seem strange to English ears as,
for example, we read of the demise of Mrs. Jane
Dickson, spouse of Thomas Morison. Scottish cookery
retains its ground, and hotch-potch, minced collops,
sheep s head singed, and occasionally haggis, are still

And yet, even as we write, weepers seem to be passing into
reminiscence.

346 REMINISCENCES OF

marked peculiarities of the Scottish table. These
social differences linger amongst us. But stronger
points are worn away ; eccentricities and oddities
such as existed once will not do now. One does not
see why eccentricity should be more developed in one
age than in another, but we cannot avoid the conclu
sion that the day for real oddities is no more. Pro
fessors of colleges are those in whom one least expects
oddity grave and learned characters ; and yet such
have been in former times. We can scarcely now
imagine such professors as we read of in a past gene
ration. Take the case of no less distinguished a
person than Adam Smith, author of the Wealth of
Nations, who went about the streets talking and
laughing to himself in such a manner as to make the
market women think he was deranged ; and he told
of one himself who ejaculated, as he passed, " Hech,
sirs, and he is weel pat on, too ! expressing surprise
that a decided lunatic, who from his dress appeared
to be a gentleman, should be permitted to walk abroad
unattended. Professors still have their crotchets
like other people ; but we can scarcely conceive a
professor of our day coming out like Adam Smith,
and making fishwives to pass such observations on
his demeanour.

Peculiarities in a people s phraseology may prove
more than we are aware of, and may tend to illustrate
circumstances of national history. Thus many words
which would be included bv Englishmen under the

J O

general term of Scotticisms, bear directly upon the
question of a past intercourse with France, and prove
how close at one time must have been the influence
exercised upon general habits in Scotland by that
intercourse. Scoto-Gallic words were quite differently
situated from French words and phrases adopted in

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 347

England. With us they proceeded from a real
admixture of the two peoples. With us they form
the ordinary common language of the country, and
that was from a distant period moulded by French.
In England, the educated and upper classes of late
years adopted French words and phrases. With us,
some of our French derivatives are growing obsolete
as vulgar, and nearly all are passing from fashionable
society. In England, we find the French-adopted
words rather receiving accessions than going out of
use.

Examples of words such as we have referred to, as
showing a French influence and admixture, are familiar
to many of my readers. I recollect some of them in
constant use amongst old-fashioned Scottish people,
and those terms, let it be remembered, are unknown
in England.

A leg of mutton was always, with old-fashioned
Scotch people, a gigot (Fr. gigot).

The crystal jug or decanter in which water is
placed upon the table, was a caraff (Fr. carafe).

Gooseberries were groserts, or grossarts (Fr. gro-
seille).

Partridges were pertricks, a word much more
formed upon the French perdrix than the English
partridge.

The plate on which a joint or side-dish was placed
upon the table was an ashet (Fr. assiette).

In the old streets of Edinburgh, where the houses
are very high, and where the inhabitants all live in
flats, before the introduction of soil-pipes there was
no method of disposing of the foul water of the
household, except by throwing it out of the window
into the street. This operation, dangerous to those
outside, was limited to certain hours, and the well

348 REMINISCENCES OF

known cry, which preceded the missile and warned
the passenger, was gardeloo ! or, as Smollett writes
it, gardy loo (Fr. garge de 1 eau).

Anything troublesome or irksome used to be called,
Scottice, fashious (Fr. facheux, facheuse) ; to fash
one s-self (Fr. se facher).

The small cherry, both black and red, common in
gardens, is in Scotland, never in England, termed
gean (Fr. guigne), from Guigne, in Picardy.

The term dambrod, which has already supplied
materials for a good story, arises from adopting French
terms into Scottish language, as dams were the pieces
with which the game of draughts was played (Fr.
dammes). Brod is board.

A bedgown, or loose female upper garment, is still
in many parts of Scotland termed a jupe (Fr. jupe).

In Kincardineshire the ashes of a blacksmith s
furnace had the peculiar name of smiddy-coom (Fr.
e*cume, i.e. dross).

Oil, in common Scotch, used always to be ule,
as the uley pot, or uley cruse (Fr. huile).

Many of my readers are no doubt familiar with
the notice taken of these words by Lord Cockburn,
and with the account which he gives of these Scottish
words derived from the French, probably during the
time of Queen Mary s minority, when French troops
were quartered in Scotland. I subjoin a more full
list, for which I am indebted to a correspondent,
because the words still lingering amongst us are in
themselves the best KEMINISCENCES of former days.

Scotch. English. French,

Serviter Napkin From Serviette.

Gigot (of mutton) ... ,, Gigot.

Reeforts Radishes ,, Raiforts.

Grosserts Gooseberries ,, Groseilles.

Gardy veen Case for holding wine Garde-

THE READER

From a -vater-colour drawing bv
HENRY IV. KERR,

.LR.S.A., R.S.U .

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER.

349

Scotch.
Jupe
Bonnaille

Gysard

Dambrod

Pantufles

Haggis

Gou

Hogue

Grange

Mouter

Dour

Douce

Dorty

Braw

Kimmer

Jalouse

Vizzy

Ruckle

Gardy-loo

Dementit
On my verity
By my certy
Aumrie

English.

Part of a woman s dress
A parting glass with a
friend going on a journey
Person in a fancy dress
Draught-board
Slippers
Hashed meat
Taste, smell
Tainted
Granary

Miller s perquisite
Obstinate
Mild
Sulky
Fine
Gossip
Suspect

To aim at, to examine
Heap (of stones)
(Notice well known in

Edinburgh)

Out of patience, deranged
Assertion of truth
Assertion of truth
Cupboard

Walise Portmanteau

Sucker Sugar , ,

Edinburgh Street Cry : Neeps like sucker.

neeps? (turnips).

Petticoat-tails Cakes of triangular shapes ,,

Ashet Meat-dish ,.

Fashions Troublesome ,,

Prush, Madame * Call to a cow to come for- ,

ward

French.
Jupe.
Bon aller.

Guise.

Dammes.

Pantoufles.

Hachis.

Gout

Haut gout.

Grange.

Mouture.

Dur.

Doux.

Duret^.

Brave.

Commere.

Jalouser.

Viser.

Recueil.

Gardez-l eau.

Dementir.
Verite.
Certes.
Almoire, in old

French.
Valise.
Sucre.
Whae ll buy

Petits gatelles
(gateaux).

Assiette.

Facheux.

Approchez,
Madame.

* This expression was adopted apparently in ridicule of the
French applying the word " Madame " to a cow.

350 REMINISCENCES OF

I dwell the more minutely on this question of
Scottish words, from the conviction of their being so
characteristic of Scottish humour, and being so dis
tinctive a feature of the older Scottish race. Take
away our Scottish phraseology, and we lose what is
our specific distinction from England. In these
expressions, too, there is often a tenderness and
beauty as remarkable as the wit and humour. I
have already spoken of the phrase " Auld-lang-syne,"
and of other expressions of sentiment, which may be
compared in their Anglican and Scotch form.

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER.

CONCLUSION.

I AM very anxious to bear in mind throughout these
Reminiscences, and to keep in view the same feeling for
my readers viz. that such details regarding the
changes which many living have themselves noticed
as taking place in our customs and habits of society
in Scotland, should always suggest the question to the
thoughtful and serious mind, Are the changes which
have been observed for good ? Is the world a better
world than that which we can remember 1 On some
important points changes have been noticed in the
upper classes of Scottish society, which unquestionably
are improvements. For example, the greater atten
tion paid to observance of Sunday, and to attendance
upon public worship. the partial disappearance of
profane swearing and of excess in drinking. But
then the painful questions arise, Are such beneficial
changes general through the whole body of our
countrymen 1 may not the vices and follies of one
grade of society have found a refuge in those that are
of a lower class 1 may not new faults have taken their
place where older faults have been abandoned ] Of
this we are quite sure no lover of his country can
fail to entertain the anxious wish, that the change we
noticed in regard to drinking and swearing were uni
versal, and that we had some evidence of its being
extended through all classes of society. We ought
certainly to tee! grateful when we reflect that, in

352 REMINISCENCES OF

many instances which we have noticed, the ways and
customs of society are much improved in common
sense, in decency, in delicacy, and refinement. There
are certain modes of life, certain expressions, eccen
tricity of conduct, coarseness of speech, books, and
plays, which were in vogue amongst us, even fifty or
sixty years ago, which would not be tolerated in
society at the present time. We cannot illustrate this
in a more satisfactory manner than by reference to
the acknowledgment of a very interesting and charm
ing old lady, who died so lately as 1823. In 1821,
Mrs. Keith of Ravelstone, grandaunt of Sir Walter
Scott, thus writes in returning to him the work of a
female novelist which she had borrowed from him out
of curiosity, and to remind her of " auld lang syne :
" Is it not a very odd thing that I, an old woman
of eighty and upwards, sitting alone, feel myself
ashamed to read a book which, sixty years ago, I
have heard read aloud for the amusement of large
circles, consisting of the first and most creditable
society in London?" There can be no doubt that at
the time referred to by Mrs. Keith, Tristram Shandy,*
Tom Jones, Humphrey Clinker, etc., were on the
drawing-room tables of ladies whose grandchildren or
great-grandchildren never saw them, or would not
acknowledge it if they had seen them. But authors

* Sterne, in one of his letters, describes his reading Tristram
Shandy to his wife and daughter his daughter copying from
his dictation, and Mrs. Sterne sitting by and listening whilst
she worked. In the life of Sterne, it is recorded that he used
to carry about in his pocket a volume of this same work, and
read it aloud when he went into company. Admirable reading
for the church dignitary, the prebendary of York ! How well
adapted to the hours of social intercourse with friends ! How
fitted for domestic seclusion with his family J

SCOTTISH LIFE A CHARACTER. 353

not inferior to Sterne, Fielding, or Smollett, are now
popular, who, with Charles Dickens, can describe
scenes of human life with as much force and humour,
and yet in whose pages nothing will be found which
need offend the taste of the most refined, or shock
the feelings of the most pure. This is a change where
there is also great improvement. It indicates not
merely a better moral perception in authors themselves,
but it is itself a homage to the improved spirit of the
age. We will hope that, with an improved exterior,
there is improvement in society within. If the feelings
shrink from what is coarse in expression, we may hope
that vice has, in some sort, lost attraction. At any
rate, from what we discern around us we hope favour
ably for the general improvement of mankind, and of
our own beloved country in particular. If Scotland,
in parting with her rich and racy dialect, her odd and
eccentric characters, is to lose something in quaint
humour and good stories, we will hope she may grow
and strengthen in better things good as those are
which she loses. However this may be, I feel quite as
sured that the examples which I have now given, of
Scottish expressions, Scottish modes and habits of life,
and Scottish anecdotes, which belong in a great measure
to the past, and yet which are remembered as having a
place in the present century, must carry conviction that
great changes have taken place in the Scottish social
circle. There were some things belonging to our
country which we must all have desired should be
changed. There were others which we could only see
changed with regret and sorrow. The hardy and simple
habits of Scotsmen of many past generations ; their in
dustry, economy, and integrity, which made them take
so high a place in the estimation and the confidence
of the people amongst whom they dwelt in all countries

S54 REMINISCENCES OF

of the world ; the intelligence and superior education
of her mechanics and her peasantry, combined with a
strict moral and religious demeanour, fully justified
the praise of Burns when he described the humble
though sublime piety of the "Cottar s Saturday Night,"
and we can well appreciate the testimony which he
bore to the hallowed power and sacred influences of
the devotional exercises of his boyhood s home, when
he penned the immortal words :

" From scenes like these old Scotia s grandeur springs,
That makes her loved at home, revered abroad."

On comparing Scotland past with Scotland present,
we cannot evade the question, Are " scenes like these"
devotional domestic scenes like these become less
frequent than they were *? Do they still hold their
place by the cottar s fireside, or are they becoming only
a reminiscence of what was once a national distinction 1
Whatever be our religious opinions, or whatever be our
views on questions of ecclesiastical polity and church
order, no Scotsman who desires the happiness and
honour of his country could avoid a deep regret at
the very idea of Burns " Cottar s Saturday Night"
having become a thing of the past ; and yet we must
not shrink from inquiry into the true state of the case.
I have asked the opinions of friends both of the Estab
lished and the Free Church, who have met my in
quiries in a fair and candid spirit, and, from the
answers I have received, have come to something like
the following conclusion : I believe such scenes as
Burns " Cottar s Saturday Night " are still to be met
with in all their freshness and all their fervour in the
dwellings of a good religious peasantry ; but in some
places the cottar population itself has undergone a
great change. Two causes have combined to produce

SCOTTISH LIFE i- CHARACTER. 355

this effect : An extensive system of emigration ha*
thinned the older families of the soil, whilst the prac
tice of bringing in mere labourers has in many districts
made the old family domestic firesides less numerous.
Then, alas! alas! we fear cottar MORALITY has not
been such as to keep up the practice. Reports made
to both the General Assemblies of 1871 on this
question were far from being satisfactory. Dr. Begg,
too, in his striking and able pamphlet on the " Ecclesi
astical and Social Evils of Scotland," refers to "symp
toms of a nation s degeneracy which seem multiplying
in Scotland ;" also to a " growing amount of heathen
ism and drunkenness."

With such representations before us regarding a
decline of domestic morality, we cannot expect to see
much increase of domestic piety. Burns, after he had
become lowered in moral feelings by those licentious
habits and scenes into which he unfortunately fell after
he had left his father s house, was not hypocrite
enough to profess the same love and interest for the
scenes of his innocent and early days. The country
clergy of Scotland have their many difficulties against
which they are to contend ; and many obstacles which
they have to meet. But let not the domestic piety
of the lowest cottages of the land be lost sight of.
The results of such worship are so blessed upon the
inmates, that the practice should everywhere be urged
upon their flocks by the clergy, and encouraged by all
means in their power ; and in that view it would, I
think, be desirable to circulate short forms of prayer
for family use. Many such have lately been publish
ed ; and, whatever difference of opinion may be enter
tained as to the comparative merits of extempore or
liturgical prayer for the public worship of the church,
there can be no question that in many instances a

556 REMINISCENCES OF

form must be very useful, and often essential at the
commencement, at least, of cottage worship. I have
known cases where it has been declined on the plea
of inability to conduct the service.

There are numerous indications that, on the whole,
a regard for religion and religious ordinances is not
losing ground in Scotland. The great number of
churches and of handsome churches that are spring
ing up, indicate, by their attendance, how much hold
the subject has upon the people. The ample funds
raised for charitable and for missionary objects give
good testimony in the cause ; and, in regard to the
immediate question before us, one favourable result
may be reported on this subject the practice and
feelings of domestic piety and family worship have,
at any rate, extended in Scotland in an upward direc
tion of its social life. Beyond all doubt, we may say
family worship is more frequent, as a general practice,
in houses of the rich, and also in the houses of farmers
and of superior operatives, than it was some years ago.
The Montrose anecdote about family prayers, told at
page 64, could hardly have place now, and indeed
many persons could not understand the point.

I hope I am not blinded to the defects of my own
countrymen, nor am I determined to resist evidence
of any deterioration which may be proved. But I
feel confident that Scotland still stands pre-eminent
amongst the nations for moral and religious qualities.
The nucleus of her character will bear comparison
with any. \Ve will cherish hope for the mental tone
of our countrymen being still in the ascendant, and
still imbued with those qualities that make a moral
and religious people. We have reason to know that
in many departments of business, Scottish intelligence,
Scottish character, and Scottish services, are still de
cidedly at a premium in the market*

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 357

But now, before concluding, I am desirous of record
ing some Reminiscences upon a phase of Scottish
RELIGIOUS history which involves very important
consequences, and which I would not attempt to
discuss without serious consideration. Indeed I have
sometimes shrunk from the discussion at all, as lead
ing to questions of so delicate a nature, and as in
volving matters on which there are so many differences
of opinion. I refer to the state of our divisions and
alienations of spirit on account of religion.

The great Disruption, which nearly equally divided
the National Church, and which took place in 1843,
is now become a matter of reminiscence. Of those
nearly connected with that movement, some were
relatives of my own, and many were friends. Unlike
similar religious revolutions, that which caused the
Free Church of Scotland did not turn upon any
difference of opinion on matters either of doctrine or
of ecclesiastical polity. It arose entirely from differ
ences regarding the relation subsisting between the
Church and the State, by which the Church was
established and endowed. The great evil of all such
divisions, and the real cause for regret, lie in the
injury they inflict on the cause of Christian unity and
Christian love, and the separation they too often
make between those who ought to be united in spirit,
and who have hitherto been not unfrequently actually
joined for years as companions and friends. The tone
which is adopted by publications, which are the
organs of various party opinions amongst us, show
how keenly disputants, once excited, will deal with
each other. The differences consequent upon the
Disruption in the Scottish Church called forth great
bitterness of spirit and much mutual recrimination at
the time. But it seems to me that there are indica-

2G

358 REMINISCENCES OF

tions of a better spirit, and that there is more tolerance
and more forbearance on religions differences amongst
Scottish people generally. I cannot help thinking,
however, that at no period of our ecclesiastical annals
was such language made use of, and even against
those of the highest place and authority in the
Church, as we have lately met with in the organs of
the extreme Anglican Church party. It is much to
be regretted that earnest and zealous men should
have adopted such a style of discussing religious
differences. I cannot help thinking it is injurious to
Christian feelings of love and Christian kindness. It-
is really sometimes quite appalling. From the same
quarter I must expect myself severe handling for
some of these pages, should they fall into their way.
We cannot but lament, however, when we find such
language used towards each other by those who are
believers in a common Bible, and who are followers
and disciples of the same lowly Saviour, and indeed
frequently members of the same Church. Bigotry
and intolerance are not confined to one side or another.
They break out often where least expected. Differ
ences, no doubt, will always exist on many contested
subjects, but I would earnestly pray that all SUCH
differences, amongst ourselves at least, as those which
injure the forbearance and gentleness of the Christian
character, should become "Scottish Reminiscences/
whether they are called forth by the opposition sub
sisting between Presbyterianism and Episcopacy, or
whether they arise amongst Presbyterians or amongst
Episcopalians themselves.

To my apprehension Scotland has recently seen a
most painful indication of the absence of that charity
which, according to St. Paul, should " never fail
amongst a Christian people. The act of two English

SCOTTISH LIFE <t- CHARACTER. 359

Prelates officiating in one of the Established churches
has called forth a storm of indignation as loud and
vehement as if in a heathen land they had fallen down
before the image of a heathen deity, and worshipped
in a heathen temple. Then the explanation which
has been given by apologists for these services is not
the least remarkable feature of the transaction. These
ministrations have been called "Mission Services,"
and, in so far as I enter into the meaning of the
phrase, I would solemnly and seriously protest against
its being made use of in such a case. "Mission
service 1 can only be applied to the case of a mis
sionary raising his voice " in partibus infidelium" or,
to say the least of it, in a land where no Christian
church was already planted. When I think of the
piety, the Christian worth, and high character of so
many friends in the Established and other Presbyterian
churches in Scotland, I would again repeat my solemn
protestation against such religious intolerance, and
again declare my conviction, that Englishmen and
Scotsmen, so far from looking out for points of
difference and grounds for separation on account of
the principles on which their Churches are established,
should endeavour to make the bonds of religious
union as close as possible. I can scarcely express the
gratification I felt on learning from the Scotsman,
November 20, that such were the sentiments called
forth by this event in the mind of one of the ablest and
most distinguished Prelates of our day. In reference
to the Glengarry services, the Bishop of St. Andrews
(Wordsworth) has declared his opinion, that the
subsequent explanations of those services seemed
to mar the good work by introducing -questions of
etiquette, where nothing should have been thought
of but the simple performance of Christian duty

360 REUINISGENCES OF

by Christian ministers for the benefit of Christian
people." *

Such is the judgment expressed by the honoured
and learned Bishop of St. Andrews, whose noble and
patriotic exertions to draw the Episcopalians and the
Presbyterians of Scotland closer together in bonds of
religious feelings and religious worship have been
spoken of in such terms, and such words have been
applied to his labours in that cause, and to the ad
ministration generally of his own diocese, by one of
the very high English Church papers, as have been to
me a cause of deep sorrow and poignant regret.

As a Scotsman by descent from Presbyterians of
high moral and religious character, and as an Episco
palian by conscientious preference, I would fain see
more of harmony and of confidence between all
Scotsmen, not only as fellow-countrymen, but as
fellow-Christians. When I first joined the Episcopal
Church the Edinburgh Episcopal clergy were on most
friendly terms with the leading clergy of the Estab
lished Church. Every consideration was shown to
them by such men as Bishop Sandford, Dr. Morehead,
Rev. Archibald Alison, Rev. Mr. Shannon, and others.
There was always service in the Episcopal chapels on
the National Church communion fast-days. No oppo
sition or dislike to Episcopalian clergymen occupying
Presbyterian pulpits was ever avowed as a great prin
ciple. Charles Simeon of Cambridge, and others of
the Churches of England and Ireland, frequently so
officiated, and it was considered as natural and suit
able. The learning and high qualities of the Church
of England s hierarchy, were, with few exceptions,
held in profound respect. Indeed, during the last
hundred years, and since the days when Episcopacy
* Scottish Guardian, vol. ii. No. ix. p. 305.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 361

was attacked under the term of " black prelacy," I can
truly say, the Episcopal order has received far more
severe handling in Episcopal England than it has
received in Presbyterian Scotland. I must think,
that in the case of two churches where the grounds of
resemblance are on points of spiritual importance affect
ing great truths and doctrines of salvation, and where
the points of difference affect questions more of govern
ment and external order than of salvation, there
ought to be on both parts the desire at least to draw
as closely as they can the bonds of Christian charity
and mutual confidence.

I believe it to be very painful to Scotsmen gener
ally, whether of the Established or the Episcopal
Church, that the Presbyterian Church of Scotland
should be spoken of in such terms as have lately been
made use of. Scotsmen feel towards it as to the
Church of the country established. by law, just as the
Anglican Church is established in England. They
feel towards it as the Church whose ministrations are
attended by our gracious Sovereign when she resides
in the northern portion of her dominions, and in
which public thanksgiving was offered to God in the
royal presence for her Majesty s recovery. But more
important still, they feel towards it as a church of
which the members are behind no other communion
in the tone and standard of their moral principle and
integrity of conduct. They feel towards it as a
church which has nobly retained her adherence to the
principles of the Keformation, and which has been
spared the humiliation of exhibiting any of her clergy
nominally members of a reformed church, and, at the
same time, virtually and at heart adherents to the
opinions and practices of the Church of Borne.
English people, in speaking of the Established Church

362 REMINISCENCES OF

of Scotland, seem to forget how much Episcopalians
are mixed up with their Presbyterian fellow-country
men in promoting common charitable and religious
objects. For example, take my own experience : the
administration of a very valuable charitable institution
called the Paterson and Pape Fund, is vested jointly
in the incumbent of St. John s, Edinburgh (Episco
palian), and the two clergymen of St. Cuthbert s
(Established) Church. Even in matters affecting the
interests of our own Church we may find ourselves
closely connected. Take the administration of the
late Miss Walker s will, and the carrying out her
munificent bequest to our Church, of which I am a
trustee. Of the nine trustees, two are Episcopalians
residing in Scotland, one an Episcopalian residing in
England,*and six are Presbyterians residing in Scot
land. The primary object of Miss Walker s settlement
is to build and endow, for divine service, a cathedral
church in Edinburgh ; the edifice to cost not less than
40,000. The income arising from the remainder of
her property to be expended for the benefit of the
Scottish Episcopal Church generally. A meeting of
trustees was held, November 25, 1871, and one of
the first steps unanimously agreed upon was to appoint
the Bishop-Coadjutor of Edinburgh, who is a trustee,
to be chairman of the meeting. There is no doubt or
question of mutual good feeling in the work, and that
our Church feels full and entire confidence in the fair,
honourable, candid, and courteous conduct of the trus
tees to whom in this case will be committed weighty
matters connected with her interests.

At one of the congresses of the English Church it
has been said, and well said, by Mr. B. Hope, that he
and his friends of the High Church party would join
as closely as they could with the members of the

SCOTTISH LIFE 6 CHARACTER. 363

Romish Church who have taken common cause with
Dr. Dollinger, "looking more to points where they
agree, and not to points where they differ." Why
should not the same rule be adopted towards brethren
who differ from ourselves so little on points that are
vital and eternal 1 The principle which I would apply
to the circumstances, I think, may be thus stated : I
would join with fellow-Christians in any good works
or offices, either of charity or religion, where I could
do so without compromise of my own principles. On
such ground I do not see why we should not realise
the idea already suggested, viz. that of having an
interchange between our pulpits and the pulpits of the
Established and other Presbyterian or Independent
Churches. Such ministerial interchange need not
affect the question of orders, nor need it, in fact, touch
many other questions on which differences are con
cerned.

Of course this should be arranged under due regu
lation, and with full precaution taken that the ques
tions discussed shall be confined to points where there
is agreement, and that points of difference should be
left quite in abeyance. Why should we, under proper
arrangements, fail to realise so graceful an exercise of
Christian charity? Why should we lose the many
benefits favourable to the advancement of Christian
unity amongst us ? An opportunity for practically
putting this idea into a tangible form has occurred
from the circumstance of the new chapel in the Uni
versity of Glasgow being opened for service, to be
conducted by clergymen of various churches. I gladly
avail myself of the opportunity of testifying my grate
ful acknowledgments for the courteous and generous
conduct of Dr. Caird, in his efforts to put forward
members of our Church to conduct the services of the

364 REMINISCENCES OF

College chapel, and also of expressing my admiration
of the power and beauty of his remarks on Christian
unity and on brotherly love.*

This is with me no new idea ; no crude experiment
proposed for the occasion. I have before me a paper
which I wrote some years since, and which I had put
into the shape of " An Address to the Bishops," to
sanction such exchange of pulpits, hoping to get some
of my clerical brethren to join in the object of the
address. I feel assured much good would, under God,
be the result of such spiritual union. If congrega
tions would only unite in exchange of such friendly
offices of religious instruction with each other, how
often would persons, now strangers, become better
acquainted ! I wish the experiment could be tried,
were it only to show how prejudices would be re
moved ; how misunderstandings would be cleared
away; how many better and kinder feelings would
grow out of the closer union on religious questions !
Nay, I would go farther, and express my full convic
tion, that my own Church would gain rather ttan lose
in her interests under such a system. Men would be
more disposed to listen with attention, and examine
with candour the arguments we make use of in favour
of our Church views. We should gain more of the
sympathy of our countrymen who differ from us, by a
calm expostulation than by bitter invective. Beauti
fully and wisely was it written by a sacred pen nearly
three thousand years ago, "A soft answer turneth
away wrath."

I have such confidence in the excellence of my own

* "What is Religion ?" a sermon by Rev. John Caird, D.D.,
Professor of Divinity in the University of Glasgow, and one of
Her Majesty s Chaplains for Scotland. See especially concluding
remarks.

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 365

Church, that I believe to bring persons into closer
and kinder connection with our system would be the
more likely way to gain their approval and their
favourable judgment. In nothing do we lose more of
the confidence and estimation of our fellow-country
men than in the feeling of our being intolerant and
exclusive in our religious opinions. It is curious
people should not see that the arguments addressed
in a friendly spirit must tell more powerfully than the
arguments of one who shows his hostile feeling.

With these feelings on the subject, it may be easily
understood with what pleasure I read, in the Edin
burgh Courant of November 10th, a report of what
our Primus (Bishop Eden) said, at the entertainment
which was given on the occasion of the consecration
of St. Mary s Church, Glasgow. In speaking on the
question of Union, the Primus said

" I think I may speak for my Episcopal brethren, when
I say that if the heads, especially of the Established
Church of Scotland for that is the body that has most
power and influence if a proposal were made by the
leading men in that Church, in concurrence with those
who hold views similar to themselves a conference of the
representative men of the different Churches to consider
in a Christian spirit what our differences are, and what are
the points on which we are agreed, we would be most
happy to take part in it. Such a conference might, in the
providence of God, lead to our being drawn nearer to each
other. I believe that then the prayer which the Bishop
of St. Andrews offered up would be the earlier accom
plished, namely, that the Episcopal Churches might be
come Reformed, and the Reformed Churches become Epis
copal. If any proposal of this kind could be made, I
believe we would be most ready to accept any invitation
to consider whether the various Churches might not be
drawn nearer to each other." (Great applause.

366: REMINISCENCES OF

The Coadjutor Bishop of Edinburgh in his address,
after briefly referring to some proposals that had been
made for union among the churches in South Africa,
went on to say

" I do say, as one of the Bishops of the Scottish Epis
copal Church now, and in reference to what fell from the
Primus, that I most heartily concur in what he said, and I
cannot but feel that, without the slightest breach of the
great fundamental principles of the Church of Christ, there
are many points on which we may be at one with Chris
tians who are not part of our organic body.

" I believe the proposal made by the Primus would
have the effect of drawing them nearer to us, and be a step
forward to that consummation which we all desire, and
which our blessed Lord prayed with his last breath That
we may all be one. (Great applause.)

That two honoured Fathers of our Church, our
Primus and my own Bishop, should have made use of
such terms, and that their views should have been
received by such an audience with so much applause,
T could have offered a grateful acknowledgment upon
my knees.

But after all, perhaps, it may be said this is an
Utopian idea, which, in the present state of religious
feelings and ecclesiastical differences, never can be
realised. It were a sufficient answer to the charge of
utopianism brought against such a proposal, to plead
that it was no more than what was sanctioned by the
teaching of God s word. In this case it does not
seem to go beyond the requirements of holy Scripture
as set forth in St. Paul s description of charity, and in
other passages which clearly enjoin Christians to act
towards each other in love, and to cultivate, so far as
they can, a spirit of mutual forbearance and of joint
action in the sacred cause of preaching the truth as it
is in Jesus. I cannot believe that, were St. Paul on

SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHAR ACT EP. 367

earth, he would sanction the present state of jealous
separation amongst Christians. Take such separation
in connection with the beautiful sentiment, which we
read in Phil. i. 1 8 : " What then ? notwithstanding
every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is
preached ; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will
rejoice."

The determination to exclude preaching that is not
strictly according to our own forms seems to me quite
inconsistent with the general teaching of Scripture,
more particularly with this apostolic declaration. But
I would bring this question to a practical issue, and
we shall find enough in our own experience to con
firm the view I have taken, and to sanction the
arrangement I propose. To bring forward co-opera
tion in the great and vitally important work of
preaching God s word, which has been already effected
between persons holding on some points opinions
different from each other, take first the case of re
vision of the English translation of the Old and New
Testament Scriptures, as it has been resolved upon
by the authorities of the great Anglican Communion.
They have had no difficulty in finding Nonconformist
scholars and divines whose fitness to be associated
with Anglican Churchmen in the great work of ar
ranging and correcting an authorised version has
been admitted by all. Thus we have Nonconformists
and English and Scottish Episcopalians united in
adjusting the terms of the sacred text ; the text
from which all preaching in the English tongue shall
in future derive its authority, and by which all its
teaching shall in future be guided and directed.
There is already, however, a closer and a more
practical blending of minds on great religious ques
tions much differing from each other on lesser points.

363 REMINISCENCES OF

In the field of religious and devotional literature,
many of our church differences are lost sight of.
Episcopalian congregations are constantly in the habit
of joining with much cordiality and earnestness in
singing hymns composed by authors nonconformists
with our Church in fact, of adopting them into
their church service. These compositions form a
portion of their worship, and are employed to illus
trate and enforce their own most earnest doctrinal
views and opinions themselves. How entirely are
such compositions as the sacramental hymn, "My
God, and is thy table spread," by Doddridge; the
hymn, " When I behold the wondrous cross," by
Isaac Watts, associated with our Church services!
Nor are such feelings of adoption confined to poetical
compositions. How many prose productions by non-
Episcopalian authors might be introduced for the
delight and benefit of Christian congregations ! How
eagerly many such compositions are read by members
of our Church ! With what delight would many dis
courses of this class have been listened to had they
been delivered to Episcopalian congregations ! Where
such hymns and such discourses are admissible, the
authws of them might take a part in conducting
psalmody and in occupying the pulpit for preaching
to a congregation. If the spirits of such writers as
Doddridge, Watts, and Hall, have been felt to per
meate and to influence the hearts of others who have
heard or read their words of holiness and peace, we
may well suppose that God would sanction their
making like impressions, in his own house, upon the
hearts of those whom they meet there face to face.
Might they not communicate personally what they
communicate through the press 1 For example, why
should not Eobert Hall have preached his sermons

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 369

on Infidelity and on the Death of the Princess of
Wales, perhaps the two most magnificent discourses
in the language, in an English Cathedral? Why
should not the beautiful astronomical discourses of
Thomas Chalmers have been delivered in St. Paul s
or in St. John s, Edinburgh? For many years, in
want of better materials, the sermons of Dr. Blair
were more used in the Church of England, and more
read in private, than any similar compositions. It
has been for years a growing persuasion in my own
mind that principles of Christian love and mutual
harmony are too often sacrificed to the desire of pre
serving the exact and formal marks of church order,
as the Bishop of St. Andrews so happily expressed it
to preserve etiquette. Surely the great law of Christian
love would suggest and enforce a union at least of
spirit amongst Christian believers, who cannot join
in the unity of the same organisation. Inability to
join in the same form of church polity and church
order need not shut the door to religious sympathies
and religious communion, where there are so many
points of agreement and of mutual interest. The ex
perience of the past will tend to produce the convic
tion that there has too often been in our religious
disputes a strong tendency in all Christian denomina
tions to make the great principle of love, which is a
principle to rule in Heaven and for eternity, actually
subservient and subordinate to a system of ecclesi
astical order, which, important as it is for its own
purposes and objects, never can be more than a guide
to the ministration of the Church on earth, and an
organisation which must be in its nature confined to
time.

Wherever or whenever this feeling may be called
forth, it is a grievous error it is a very serious sub-

370 REMINISCENCES OF

ject for our reflection, how far such want of sympathy
and of union with those who do not belong imme
diately to our own church, must generate a feeling
hostile to a due reception of an important article of
our faith, termed in the Apostles Creed the COM
MUNION OF SAINTS. According to the description
given by the judicious and learned Bishop Pearson,
this communion or spiritual union belongs to all who
are in New Testament language denominated SAINTS ;
by which he means all who, having been baptized in
the faith, have this name by being called and baptized.
Then he states all Christian believers to have com
munion and fellowship with these, whether living or
dead. We should feel towards such persons (evidently,
as the good Bishop implies, without reference to any
particular church order) all sympathy and kindness as
members of the same great spiritual family on earth,
expectants of meeting in heaven in the presence of
God and of the Lamb, and of joining in the worship
of saints and angels round the throne. I have no
hesitation in declaring my full conviction that such
expectations of future communion should supply a
very powerful and sacred motive for our cultivating
all spiritual union in our power with all fellow-
Christians, all for whom Christ died. It becomes a
very serious subject for examination of our own
hearts, how, by refusing any spiritual intercourse
with Christians who are not strictly members of our
own Church, we may contravene this noble doctrine
of the Communion of Saints ; for does not the bitter
ness with which sometimes we find all union with
certain fellow-Christians in the Church on earth chill
or check the feeling of a desire for union with the
same in the Church above ? Nay, is there not matter
Tor men s earnest thought, how far the violent aid-

SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. 371

mosity displayed against the smallest approach to
anything like spiritual communion with all Christians
of a different Church from their own may chill the
DESIRE itself for " meeting in the Church above ?
Can hatred to meeting on earth be in any sense a
right preliminary or preparation for desire to meet in
Heaven 1 Nay, more, should we not carefully guard
lest the bitter displays we see of religious hostility
may even tend to bring men s minds towards a disin
clination to meet in Heaven, of which the most terrible
condition was thus expressed by Southey : " Earth
could not hold us both, nor can one heaven."

One mark of any particular Church being a portion
of Christ s Church on earth seems to be overlooked
by some of our English friends, and that is a mark
pointed out by our Lord himself, when he said, " By
their FRUITS ye shall know them." By this announce
ment I would understand that besides and beyond a
profession of the great articles of the Christian faith,
I would, as a further criterion of a Christian church,
inquire if there were many of its members who have
been distinguished for their Christian piety, Christian
learning, and Christian benevolence. Is all external
communion to be interdicted with a church which has
produced such men as we might name amongst the
children of our Established and other Churches in
Scotland *? Look back upon half-a-century, and ask
if a similar act with that of the Archbishop of York
and Bishop of Winchester would then have created a
like feeling. I can remember well the interest and
admiration called forth by the eloquence, the philan
thropy, and the moral fervour of Dr. Chalmers,
amongst the High Church school of the day too
the good Archbiship Howley, Bishop Blomfield, Rev
* See Southey s Roderick, book

372 REMINISCENCES OF

Mr. Norris of Hackney, Mr. Joshua Watson, etc. I
remember, too, the perfect ovation he received in the
attendance of Archbishops, Bishops, Clergy, Peers,
Princes, etc., of the great London world, at his lectures
on Establishments. We can hardly imagine any one
saying then, " This is all very well, but the Church
that produced this man is no part of the true Church
of Christ, and no English prelate or clergyman could
possibly take service in it."

No one, I believe, who is acquainted with my own
views and opinions on religious subjects would say
that I look with indifference on those points wherein
we differ from the great body of our fellow-country
men. I am confident that I should not gain in the
estimation of Presbyterians themselves by showing a
cold indifference, or a lukewarm attachment, to the
principles and practice of my own Church. They
would see that my own convictions in favour of Epis
copal government in the Church, and of liturgical
services in her worship, were quite compatible with
the fullest exercise of candour and forbearance to
wards the opinions of others I mean on questions
not essential to salvation.

I believe that there are persons amongst us coming
round to this opinion, and who are ready to believe
that it is quite possible for Christians to exercise very
friendly mutual relations in spiritual matters which
constitute the essential articles of a common faith,
whilst they are in practice separated on points of
ecclesiastical order and of church government. I am
old, and shall not see it ; but I venture to hope that,
under the Divine blessing, the day will come when
to Scotsmen it will be a matter of reminiscence
that Episcopalians, or that Presbyterians of any de
nomination, should set the interests of their own

SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 373

communion above the exercise of that charity that
for a brother s faith " hopeth all things and believeth
all things." Zeal in promoting our own Church
views, and a determination to advance her interests
and efficiency, need be no impediment to cultivating
the most friendly feelings towards those who agree
with us in matters which are essential to salvation
and who, in their differences from us, are, I am bound
to believe, as conscientious as myself. Such days will
come.

But now, to close my remarks on national peculi
arities, with what I may term a practical and personal
application. We have in our later pages adopted a
more solemn and serious view of past reminiscences as
they bear upon questions connected with a profession
of religion. It is quite suitable then to recall the
fact which applies individually to all our readers. We
shall ourselves each of us one day become subject to
a " reminiscence " of others. Indeed, the whole ques
tion at issue throughout the work takes for granted
what we must all have observed to be a very favourite
object with survivors viz. that the characters of
various persons, as they pass away, will be always
spoken of, and freely discussed, by those who survive
them. We recall the eccentric, and we are amused
with a remembrance of their eccentricities. We ad
mire the wise and dignified of the past. There are
some who are recollected only to be detested for their
vices some to be pitied for their weaknesses and
follies some to be scorned for mean and selfish
conduct. But there are others whose memory is
embalmed in tears of grateful recollection. There are
those whose generosity and whose kindness, whose
winning sympathy and noble disinterested virtues are
never thought upon or ever spoken of without calling

9 TT

4

374 REMINISCENCES.

forth a blessing. Might it not, therefore, be goo*!
for us often to ask ourselves how we are likely to be
spoken of when the grave has closed upon the inter
course between us and the friends whom we leave
behind 1 The thought might, at any rate, be useful
as an additional motive for kind and generous con
duct to each other. And then the inquiry would
come home to each one in some such form as this
;c Within the circle of my family and friends within
the hearts of those who have known me, and were
connected with me in various social relations what
will be the estimate formed of me when I am gone ?
What will be the spontaneous impression produced
by looking back on bygone intercourses in life 1 Will
past thought of me furnish the memory of those who
survive me with recollections that will be fond and
pleasing 1 In one word, let each one ask himself (I
speak to countrymen and countrywomen), " Will my
name be associated with gentle and happy REMINI
SCENCES OF SCOTTISH LIFE AND CHARACTER 1 "

INDEX.

AAPLE, bottle of beer strong o , 251. i
Abercairney, Laird of, prevented

from going out in 15, 329.
Aberdeen dialect, perfect specimens

of, 212, 215.

Aberdeen elders, opinion of, 26.
Aberdeen provost, wife of, at the

opera, 214.

Aberdeen, two ladies of, mutual re
crimination, 214.

A bonnie bride s sune buskit, 228.
Accommodation, grand, for snuff, 26.
Acts o Parliament lose their breath

before they get toAberdeenshire, 26
Adam, Dr. , Latin translation of Scot
tish expressions, 174.
Advice to a minister in talking to a

ploughman, 269.
A gravesteen wad gie guid bree gin

ye gied it plenty o butter, 269.
A hantle o raiscellawneous eating

about a pig, 96.
Airth, housekeeper at, on king of

France, ?,.

Alexander, Dr. W. Lindsay, 138.
And what the devil is it to you

whether I have a liver or not? 16.
Anecdotes of quaint Scottish charac
ter, 317.
Angel- worship is not allowed in the

Church of Scotland, 87.
Angler and the horse-fly, LI29.
Anither gude Sunday": I dinna ken j

whan I ll get thae drawers redd up,

74.

Anither het day, Cornal, 180.
An inch at the tap is worth twa at

the boddam, 121.
An I hadna been an idiot I nucht

hae been sleepin too, 284.
Annals of the parish, extracts from,

55, 245.
Answer to strauger asking the way.

247.

Answers, dry, specimens of, 247.

A peer o anither tree, 147.

Appetite, farmer s reason for minis
ter s good appetite, 265.

Asher, minister of Inveraven,anecdot
of, 282.

Athole, Duke of, and Cultoquhey, 24.

Athole, Duke of, answer of his cottar,
262.

Auction, anecdote of spoon missing,
190.

Auld lang syne, beauty of the expres
sion, 174.

Auld, Rev. Dr., of Ayr, and Rab
Hamilton, 283.

Authors, older ones indecent, 352.

Ay, ir ye a up an awa ? 69.

Ay, she may prosper, for she has
baith the prayers of the good and
of the bad, 170.

BABY, a laddie or a lassie, 1S6.
Baird, Mrs., of Xewbyth, remark of,

as to her son in India, 186.
Balnamoon, laird of, carriage to Ttaud

in, 256.
Balnamoon, laird of, great drinker,

255.

Balnamoon, laird of, joke with his ser
vant, 275.
Balnamuon, laird of, refuses his wig,

255.
Balnamuon, praying and drinking at,

256.
Banes, distinction of, by a beggar

262.

Banes, Frasers weel-baned, 310.
Bannockburn, guide to, refusing an

Englishman s five shillings, 278.
Bannockburn, Scottish remark upon,

277.
Baptism, minister and member of bis

Hock. 81.

INDEX.

Barclay of Ury, M.P., walk to London,

153. *

Bath gate, mending the ways of. 801.
Beadle, equivocal compliment to min
ister s sermons, 335.
Beadle or Betheral, character of, 303.
Beast, a stumbling, at least honest,

272.
Becky and I had a rippit, for which

I desire to be humble, 312.
Begg, Dr., on Scottish morality of the

present day, 355.
Beggar, expressing his thanks to a

clerical patron, 337.
Bellman of Craigie, notice from, 296.
Bestial, curious use of word, 202.
Betheral, a conceited one, 304.
Betheral criticising a clergyman, 306.
Betheral, criticism on a text, 306.
Betheral, evidence of, regarding drink
ing, 106.
Betheral, making love professionally,

305.
Betheral, on a dog that was noisy,

308.

Betheral, on the town bailies, 307.
Betheral, Scottish, answer to minister

on being drunk, 296.
Betheral stories, 302.
Betheral taking a dog out of church,

308.

Betheral s answer to minister, 303.
Betherals, conversation of two, re
garding their ministers, 304.
Blair, Eev. Dr. Hugh, and his beadle,

305.
Blessing by Scottish Bishops, form of,

become a reminiscence, 66.
Blethering, 39.

Boatie, character on Deeside, 130, 131.
Boatie of Deeside, and Providence, 21.
Books, older ones indecent, 352.
Border, selvidge, weakest bit of the

wab, 270.

Bowing to heritors, 86.
Boy, anecdote of, 252.
Braxfield, Lord, a man of wit, 156.
Braxfield, Lord, character of, as a

judge, 154.
Braxfield, Lord, conducting the trial

of Muir, Palmer, and Skirving, etc.,

155.
Braxfield, Lord, delighted with reply

of Scotch minister, 156.
Bvaxfield, Lord, spoke the broadest

Scotch, 155.
brings, the sergeant, dry description

of, by Scottish nobleman, 292.
Brougham, Lord, on Scottish dialect,

17$,

Brown, Rev. John, and the auld wifie,

69.

Brown, Rev. John of Whitbum, an
swer to rude youth, 300.
Bruce, Mr., of Kinnaird, and Louis

XVI. of France, 3.
Buccleuch, Duchess of, asking farmer

to take cabbage, 250.
Bull, specimen of Scottish confusion

of ideas, 176.
Bulls of Bashan applied by a lady

to herself, 33.

Burnett, Dr. Gilbert, Bishop of Salis
bury, 9.
Burnett, Sir Thomas, of Leys, and his

tenant Drummy, 3.
Burnett, Lady, of Leys, 171.
Burns, a son of, and Charles Lamb,

244.

Burns conducted family worship, 48.
Burying-place, choice of, 77.
Bush, conversation with minister in

church, 342.

Butler and Kincardineshire laird, 321.
But rny rninnie dang, she did though,

264.
But oh, I m sair haddeu doun wi

the bubbly jock/ 284.
But the bodies brew the braw drink,

264.

CAMPBELL of Combie and Miss

M Nabb, anecdote of, 249.
Campbell, Rev. Duncan, on Highland

honours, 116.
Camstraddale, the Dumbartonshire

laird, 121.

Canny, illustration of one of its mean
ings, 335.
Canterbury, Archbishop of, and the

Dollar man, 216.
Carlyle, Dr., account of minister *!

drinking in last century, 122.
Carlyle, Dr., prosecuted by Genera]

Assembly for attending theatre, 92.
Carnegie, Miss Helen, of Craigo,

anecdotes of, 191, 196.
Carnegie, Miss, of Craigo, and James

III. and VIII. , 100.
Carrier, a country, description of his

journeys, 200.
Catastrophe, whimsical application of

the word, 325.
Cauld kail het again, 82.
4 Ceevil, in courtship, may be carried

too far, 191.
Cemeteries, treatment of, much

changed, 67, 68.
Chalmers, Dr., poor womau a reason

for hearing. 97

INDEX.

377

Chambers, Robert, Domestic Annals of

Scotland, 10.
Change of national language involves

change of national character, 177.
Chancres, are they for the good of the

whole community ? 351.
Changes, example of, in an old Laird

seeing a man at the pianoforte, 340.
Changes fast going on around us, 137,

184, 339.
Changes in Scottish manners and

dialect, 1S4.

Changes, interesting to mark, 11.
Changes taking place, here noticed,

14.

Changes taking place in religious feel
ing, 58.
Changes, various causes for, 14,

339-341.
Chaplain of a jail, humorous reasons

for his appointment, 266.
Children, curious answers of, 34.
Children, very poor, examples of

acuteness, 252.
Children s diseases, 206.
Church discipline in the Presbytery

of Lanark, 79.
Churches, a coachman s reason for

their increase, 62.
Churches, architect s idea of difference

between two, 62.
Churches, handsome structure of,

more common, 61.

Church discipline, old fashioned, 79.
Church-going of late neglected in

towns, 97.
Church-going, Scotchmen not famous

for, fifty years ago, 57.
Churchyard, drunken weaver in, 68.
Circuit, a drunken one, 107.
Circuit, one described by Lord Cock-

bnrn, 107.
Clergy, Gaelic, not judged severely on

account of drinking, 109.
Clergyman footsore in grouse - shoot
ing, 322.
Clergyman publicly rebuking his wife,

80.
Clerk, John, address to presiding

judge, 148.

Clerk, John, answer to Lord Chan
cellor, 147.
Clerk, John, apology for friend in

Court of Session, 148.
Cockburn, Lord, and the Bonaly shep
herd, 71.
Cockburn, Lord, on Scottish changes,

185.
Oockburn s Memorials, extracts from,

185

Collie dogs, sagacity of, 88.

Come awa, Jeanie ; here s a man

swearin awfully, 35.
Come awa, granny, and gang hame ;

this is a lang grace and nae meat/

253.
Come oot and see a new star that

hasna got its tail cuttit aff yet, 246.
Confession of faith, 96.
Confirmation, anecdotes concerning.

20, 32.
Constable, Thomas, anecdote of spare

lady, 23.
Conviviality, old Scottish, and forced,

101.
Conviviality. Scotch, complaint of, by

a London merchant, 102.
Corb, and Sir George Ramsay, 259.
Corehouse, Lord, prediction of not

rising at the bar, by a Selkirk writer,

106.

Corp s brither at a funeral, 274.
Cottar s Saturday night, fine picture,

354.
Country minister and his wife, large

bed, 197.
Craigie, Rev. Mr., and Jamie Flee-

man, 288.
Craigmyle, Laird of, and Duchess of

Gordon, 258.
Cranstoun, George, Lord Corehouse,

158.
Cream, Billy, landlord of inn at Lau-

rencekirk, and Lord Dunmore, 151.
Cross, curious meaning attached to,

338.
Cry a thegither, that s the way to be

served, 134.
Gumming, Dr. Patrick, convivial

clergyman, 122.
Gumming, Miss, of Altyre, and Donald

MacQueen, 179.
Cumnock, volunteers of, 272.
Cultoquhey, old Laird of, morning

litany, 242.
Cutty-stool, former use of, 78.

DAFT person, his choice of money,

290.
Dale, David, anecdotes of his servant,

140.

Dalhousie, Lady, 257.
Dam-brod pattern table-cloth, 204.
Dancing, seceder s opinion of, 275.
Darkness, what is it? 34.
Da vie, chiel that s chained to, 186.
Davy Gellatleys, many in the

country, 280.
Death, circumstances of, coolly treated,

75.

378

INDEX.

Death of a sister described by old
lady, 193.

Decrees of God, answer of old woman,
33.

Degrees sold at northern universities,
167.

Delicacy of recent authors compared
with older, 353.

Dewar, David, Baptist minister at
Dunfermline, 266.

Dialects, distinctions on Scottish,
211.

Dialect, Scottish, real examples of,
172, 173.

Dialects, provosts, Aberdeen and Edin
burgh, 217.

Diamond Beetle case, 158.

Difference between an Episcopalian
and a Presbyterian minister, 61.

Diminutives, terms of endearment,
206.

Discreet, curious use of word, 202.

Diseases of children, odd names for,
206.

Div ye no ken there s aye raaist sawn
o tiie best crap? 136.

Dochart, same as Macgregor, 302.

Dog story, 263.

Doggie, doggie, address of idiot to a
greyhound, 295.

Dogs in church, anecdotes of, 87, 88,
308, 309.

Donald, Highland servant, 142,

Donkey, apology of his master for
putting him into a field, 336.

Downie, minister of Banchory, and
son s marriage, 22.

Drams in Highlands, anecdotes of,
121.

Dream of idiot in town of Ayr, and
apostle Peter, 282.

Drinking, apology for, 301.

Drinking at Balnamoon, 257.

Drinking at Castle Grant, 120.

Drinking, challenge against, by Mr.
Boswell of Balmuto, 102.

Drinking parties of Saturday some
times took in Sunday, 118.

Drinking party, Mad employed to
lowse the neckcloths, 111.

Drinking party, quantity consumed
by, 108.

Drinking reckoned an accomplish
ment, 104.

Drinking, supposed manliness attach
ed to, lor.

Drovers drinking in Highlands, 104.
Drumly, happy explanation of, 174.
Drummondof Keltie, answer to itine
rant tailor, 235.

Dunbar, Sir Archibald, account of a

servant, 170.

Dundas, Henry, and Mr. Pitt, 20] .
Dundrennan, Lord, anecdote of a silly

basket-woman, 287.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, address to Dr.

Cook of St. Andrews, 299.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, and Mr.

Clarke s big head, 299.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, man of racy

humour, 298.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, meeting flock

of geese, 299.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, on a taciturn

brother, 300.

Dunlop, Rev. Walter, and mis
chievous youths in kirkyard, 299.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, answer to two

young men, 298.
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, opinion of

Edward Irving, 299.
Dunmore, Lord, and Billy Cream, 151.
D ye think I dinna ken my ain groats

in ither folk s kail ? 270.

EAST LOTHIAN minister and his be-

theral taking degrees at a northern

college, 168.

Economy, specimen of Scottish, 180.
Edinburgh and Aberdeen provosts,

217.
E ening brings a hame, expressed

by Lord Byron, 234.
Eglinton, Earl of, and little boy, 238.
Eh, man, your Psalm buik has been

ill bund, 313.
Eh, Miss Jeany ! ye have been lang

spared/ 192.
Eldin, Lord (John Clerk), anecdotes

of, 146, 147.

Election, answer of minister to ques
tion, 30.
Elphiustone, Lord, and minister of

Cumberuauld, 342.
Endearment, Scottish terms of, 37,

38.

Englishman, an impruived, 279.
Enterteening, curious use of word,

202.
Episcopalian chapels, anecdote of Sir

W. Forbes, 59.
Erskine, Colonel, servant proposes an

aith for his relief, 331.
Erskine, Hon. Henry, dinner party at

Lord Armadale s, 326.
Erskine, Mr., of Dun, and l.is old

servant, 128.

Erskirie of Dun, Miss, 188.
Estate giving the name to proprietor,

16, 240.

INDEX.

379

Examinations of communicants, 88,

89.
Expressions, old Scottish, and modern

slang contrasted, 207, 208, 209.
Expressions, specimens of Scottish,

507.

FACTORS, proposal to sow field with,

289.

Fah tee, fah tee, 217.
Fail, curious use of word, 204.
Family worship now more common,

64.

Family worship, remark upon, 64.
Farmer and servant boy, 254.
Farmer, answer of, when asked to take

rhubarb tart, 251.
Farmer, cool answer regarding notes,

250.

Fanner on Deeside and bottle of vine
gar, 251.

Fanner refusing a dessert spoon, 251.
Farmer, Scottish, conversation with

English girl, 328.
Farms, giving names to the tenants,

241.

Fash as to taking a wife, 334.
Fast-day, national, strictness in ob
serving, 12.
Fat for should I gang to the opera,

just to creat a cont eesion? 214
Fencing tables, by an old minister, 78.
Fencing the deil, 324.
Fergusson of Pitfour and London

lady, 260.
Fettercairn, custom of bowing to

heritors, 86.

Fife elder and penurious laird, 297.
Fife, Lord, proposal to, by an idiot,

289.
Fin a fardin for yersell. pnir body,

263.

Finzean, Laird of, swearing, 59.
Fisher of men, 316.
Fit raiment, explanation of, by child,

89.

Fleeman, Jamie, anecdote of, 288.
Fleeman, Jamie, the Laird of Udny s

fool, life of, published, 288.
Floorish o the surface, to describe

a preacher, 316.
Forbes, Mrs., of Medwyn, fond of tea,

171.
Forbes s banking-house, anecdotes of,

108.

Formerly robbers, now thieves, 147.
Frail, curious use of word, 204.
Fraser, Jamie, address to minister in

kirk, 202.
Frassr, Jamie, idiot of Lunan, 284.

Free Church, road of, tolls unco

high, 322.
Freet s dear sin* I sauld freet in

streets o Aberdeen, 216.
French people, a clause in their

favour, by a Scottish minister, 263
Fruit, abstinence from, by minister,

19.
Fullerton, Miss Nelly, anecdote of,

189.
Funeral, anecdote of, in Strathspey,

109.

Funeral, carrying at, or leaning, 295.
Funeral, extraordinary account of a

Scottish, at Carluke, 273.
Funeral of a laird of Dundonald, 110.
Funeral, reason for a farmer taking

another glass at, 274.
Funeral, reason for a person being

officious at, 274.

Funeral, taking orders for, on death
bed, 20.
Funeral, the coffin forgotten at, 110.

GALLOWAY LADY declining drink.
121.

Gardenstone, Lord, and his book at
the inn, 149.

Gardenstone, Lord, and his pet pig,
151.

Gardenstone, Lord, exertions of, for
Laurencekirk, 14.

Gardenstone, Lord, keeping snuff in
his waistcoat pocket, 151.

Gardenstone, Lord, personal reminis
cences of, 149-151.

Garskadden, Laird of, steppit awa*
at table, 124.

General Assembly, minister s prayer
for, 78.

George III., sickness of, advantageous
to candlemakers, 268.

Ghost appearing to Watty Dunlop,
299.

Gilchrist, Dr. , answer to youug minis
ter on Lord s Prayer, 315.

Gilchrist, Dr., answer to one of his
hearers, who had changed his re
ligion, 315.

Gillespie, Professor, and village car
penter, 324.

Gillespie, Rev. Mr., ind old woman
sleeping when he preached, 325.

Glasgow Cathedral, betheral s opinion
of, 305.

Glasgow lady and carpenter, 23.

Glasgow, toast after dinner, hint to
the ladies, 103.

Glenorchy, Lady, and the elder at the
plate at Caprington, 320.

380

INDEX,

Glenorchy, Lady, removal of her re
mains on account of railroad, 344.

Gordon, Duchess of, 173.

Gordon, Duchess of, and the laird of
Craigmyle, 258.

Gordon, Lady Susan, and David Tul-
loch, 99.

Graham, Miss Clementina Stirling,
Mystifications by, 177.

Grave, making love at, 305.

Gregory, Dr., story of Highland chief,
15.

Grieve in Aberdeenshire, opinion of
own wife, 25.

Grieve, on Deeside, opinion ot young
man s preaching, 316.

Gude coorse country wark, 306.

Gudewife on Deeside, 25.

Guthrie, Helen, and her husband, 33.

Guy Mannering, extract from, 287.

HADDOCK, curious use of word, 205.

Halbert, smells damnably of the,
292.

Hamilton, Laird, at the palace asking
the servant to sit down, 260.

Hamilton, Laird, noted for eccentri
city, 260.

Hamilton, Laird, reasons for not sign
ing a bill, 260.

Hamilton Bab, an idiot at Ayr, 282.

Hamilton, Rab, idiot, anecdotes of.
282, 283.

Hangman, Scotch drover acting as,
278.

Harvest, returning thanks for good,
319.

Hatter at Laurencekirk, 14.

Heaven, little boy s refusal of, 77.

Heaven, old woman s idea of, 76.

He bud tae big s dyke wi the feal at
fit o t, 26.

He is awfu supperstitious, 205.

He turned Seceder afore he dee d,
and I buried him like a beast, 91.

Hech, sirs, and he s weel pat on,
too, 346.

Henny pig and greeTi tea, 215.

Heritor sending the hangman of Stir
ling to pay the minister, 334.

Heritors, bowing to, 86.

Hermand, Lord, great drinker, but
first-rate lawyer, 156.

Hormand, Lord, jokes with young
advocate, 157.

Hermand, Lord, opinion of drinking,
105.

Highland chairman, 177.

Highland chief, story of, 16.

Highland gentleman, first time in Loi>
don, 16.

Highland honours, 116.

Highland inquisitiveness, 247.

Highlands kept up the custom of clans
or races, 241.

Hill, Dr., Latin translation of Scottish
expressions, 174.

His girn s waur than his bite, 38.

Holy communion, several anecdotes
concerning, 93.

Home, John, author of Douglas, lines
on port wine, 327.

Home, John, remark of, to David
Hume, 86.

Honest men and bonnie lassies, 250.

Honest woman, what garr d ye steal
your neighbour s tub? 205.

Honesty declared the best policy,
why? 28.

Honeyman s, Mrs., answer to Henry
Erskine s impromptu lines, 326.

Hoot ! jabbering bodies, wha could
understan them? 198.

Horse the length of Highgate, 201.

Hospitals, changes in, 12.

Hot day, cool remark on, 29.

Hout, that is a kind o a feel, 4.

Hume, David, refused assistance ex
cept on conditions, 96.

Hume, Mrs. . Too poor, 19.

Humour of Scotch language, 169.

Humour, Scottish, described in An
nals of the Parish, 245.

Humour, Scottish, description of, 169.

Hymns ancient and modem, 51.

I DIDNA ken ye were i the touii, 172.

Idiot boy and penurious uncle, 295.

Idiot boy, pathetic story of one re
ceiving communion, 294.

Idiot in Lauder, cheating the seceders,
289.

Idiot in Peebles church, 284.

Idiot, musical one at Stirling, appro
priate tune, 2.">2.

Idiot of Lauder, and Lord Lauder-
dale s steward, 290.

Idiot, pathetic complaint of, regarding
bubbly jock, 284.

Idiot, why not asleep in church, 284.

Idiots, Act of Parliament concerning,
288.

Idiots, fondness for attend ing funerals,
287.

Idiots, parish, often very shrewd, 280.

I druve ye to your marriage, and I
shall stay to drive ye to your burial,
189.

INDEX.

381

If there s an ill text in a the Bible, j

that erector s aye sure to tak it, 84.
1 If you dinna ken whan ye ve a glide

servant, I ken whan I ve a glide

place, 129.
I hae cnist n my coat and waistcoat,

and faith I dinna ken how lang J

can thole my breeks/ 136.
I just fan a doo in the redd o my

plate/ 126.

1 11 hang ye a at the price, 278.
I maun hae a lume that ll haud in,

256.
I m unco yuckie to hear a blaud o

your gab, 170.
Inch-byre banes, 262.
Indeed, sir, I wish I wur, 263.
India, St. Andrew s day kept in, by

Scotchmen, 18.
I never big dykes till the tenants

complain," 271.
Innes, Jock, remark upon hats and

heads, 267.
Innkeeper s bill, reason for being

moderate, 274.
Interchange of words bet ween minister

and flock in church, 342.
Intercourse between classes changed,

137.

I soopit the pu pit, 126.
It s a peety but ye had been in Para
dise, and there micht na hae been j

ony faa , 19.
It s no the day to be speerin sic

things, 72.
I ve a coo noo/ 335.
I was just stan ing till the kirk had

skailed/ 17.
I was not juist sae sune doited as

some o your Lordships, 148.
I wouldna gie my single life for a

the double anes I ever saw/ 136.

JACOBITE feeling, 97, 9S.

Jacobite lady, i reason for not rising
from her chair, 199.

Jacobite toasts, 100.

Jacobite s prayer for the King, 30.

Jamie Laval, old servant, anecdotes 1
of, 132.

Jeems Robson, ye are sleepin , 80.

Jemmy, you are drank, 263

Jock, daft, attending funeral at Wig
town, 287.

Jock Grey, supposed original of David
Gellatley, 285.

Jock Wabster, deil gaea ower/ a pro
verb, 231.

John Brown, burgher minister, and an
auld wine/ 69.

John, eccentric servant, aneedotes of,

141.

John stone, Miss, of Westerhall, speci
men of fine old Scotch lady, 187,

188.
Johnstone, Rev. Dr., of Leith, and old

woman, on the decrees of God, 33.
Johnstone, Rev. Mr., of Monquhitter,

and travelling piper, 297.
Judges, Scottish, former peculiarities

as a type, 145.
Judges, Scottish, in Kay s Portraits,

145.

KAIL, curious use of word, 205.

Kames, Lord, a keen agriculturist,
157.

Kames, Lord, his joke with Lord
Monboddo, 152.

Kaming her husband s head/ 312.

Kay s Portraits, 157.

Keith, Mrs., of Ravelston, her remark
to Sir W. Scott on old books, 352.

Kilspindie, Laird of, and Tannachy
Tulloch, 241.

Kindly feelings between minister and
people, 69.

Kirkyard crack, 137.

Kirkyard crack superseded by news
papers, 137.

LADIES of Montrose, anecdotes of, 28.

Ladies, old, of Montrose, 28.

Lady, old maiden, of Montrose, reason
for not subscribing to volunteer
fund, 197.

Lady, old, of Montrose, objections to
steam vessels, and gas, and water-
carts, 196.

Lady, old Scotch, remark on loss of
her box, 197.

Lady, Scottish, Lord Cockburn s ac
count of, 193.

Lady s, old, answer to her doctor, 194.

Laird, parsimonious, and fool, 291.

Laird, parsimonious, and plate at
church-door, 297.

Laird, reason against taking his son
into the world, 267.

Laird reproaches his brother for not
taking a wife, 334.

Laird, saving, picking up a farthing,
263.

Laird, -Scottish, delighted that Christ
mas had run away, 261.

Lamb, Charles, saw no wit in Scotch
people, 244.

Land, differences of, in produce, 268.

Lass wi the braw plaid, mind the
puir/ 71.

Landamy and calomy, 277.
Lauderdale, Duke of, and Williamson

the huntsman, 276.
Lauderdale, Earl of, recipe of his daft

son to make him sleep, 327.
Laurencekirk, change in, 14.
Laurencekirk described in style of

Thomas the Rhymer, 150.
Lriwson, Rev. Dr. George, of Selkirk,

and the student, 301.
Lcein Gibbie, 9.
Leslie, Rev. Mr., and the smuggler,

300.
Let her down Donald, man, for she s

drunk, 177.
4 Let the little ane gang to pray, but

first the big ane maun tak an oar,

21.

Linties and Scottish settler in

Canada, 37.

Linty offered as fee for baptism, 37.
Liston, bir Robert, and Scotchmen

at Constantinople, 179.
Loch, Davie, the carrier, at his

mother s deathbed, 285.
Lockhart, Dr., of Glasgow, and his son

John, 85.
Logan, Laird of, speech at meeting of

heritors, 271.
Lord be thankit, a the bunkers are

fu ! 286.
Lord pity the chiel that s chained to

our Davie, 186.
Lord s prayer, John Skinner s reason

for its repetition, 265.
Lothian, Lord, in India, St. Andrew s

day, 18.
Lothian, Marquis of, and old countess

at table, 329.
Lothian, Marquis of, and workmen,

134.

M CUBBIN, Scotch minister, witty
answer to Lord Braxfield, 156.

ai Knight, Dr., dry eneuch in the
pulpit, 310.

M Knight, Dr.. folk tired of his ser
mon, 312.

M Knight and Henry, twa toom kirks,
311.

M Knight, Dr., remark on his harmony
of the four gospels, 311.

Macleod, Rev. Dr. Norman, and High
land boatman, 21.

Macleod, Rev. Dr. Norman, and re
vivals, 20.

Macleod, Rev. Dr. Norman, anecdote
of an Australian told by, 18.

M Lyznont, John, the idiot, anecdotes
of, 280, 2S1

Macnab, Laird of, his hors and

-.>5S.
MaoNabb, Miss, and Campbell of Cora-

bie, 249.

MTherson, Joe, and his wife, 76.
Magistrates of Wester Anstruther.

and evil-doors, 307.
Mair o your siller and less o youi

mainners, my Lady Betty, 320.
Ma new breeks were made oot o tht

auld curtains, 253.
Man, ye re skailing a the water, 197.
Marriage is a blessing to a few, a

curse to many, and a great uncer
tainty to all, 81.

Marriage, old minister s address on, 81.
Mary of Gueldres, burying-place now

a railway, 343.

Mastiff, where turned into a grey
hound, 263.
Maul, Mr., and the Laird of Skene,

103.
May a puir body like me noo gie

hoast? 292.

Me, and Pitt, and Pitfour, 144.
Mearns, Rev. W. of Kinneff, 30.
Mem, winna ye tak the clock wf

ye? 205.

Mending the ways o Bathgate, 301.
Mice consumed minister s sermon, 80.
Middens, example of attachment to

170.

Military rank attached to ladies, 845.
Miligan, Dr. , answer to a tired clergy

man, 272.
Milton quoted, 29.
Minister and rhubarb tart, 251.
Minister, anecdote of little boy at

school, 212.
Minister asking who was head of tht

house, 317.

Minister called to a new living, 198.
Minister, conversation with Janet his

parishioner, 264.
Minister in the north on long sermoni,

312.
Minister on a dog barking in rhtirch,

308.
Minister preaching on the water-sidd

attacked by ants, 314.
Minister publicly censuring hit

daughter, 79.

Minister reading his sermon, 301.
Minister returning thanks for good

harvest, 319.
Minister, Scottish, advice to young

preachers, 302.
Minister, Scottish, remark to a young

man, who pulled cards out of his

pocket in church. SIS.

INDEX.

88S

Minister, stupid, education and plac
ing, 53.
Minister, with great power of watter,

304.
Minister, young, apology for good

appetite after preaching, 205.
Minister s man, account of, 307.
Minister s man, criticisms of his

master s sermon, 307.
Ministers, Scottish, a typ e of Scottish

character, 52.
Minister sending for his sermon in

pulpit, 31.
Minstrelsy of Scottish Border, Sir

Walter Scott just in time to save, 11
Miss Miller (Countess of Mar) and

Scottish Minister, 87.
Miss S scompliments, and shedee d

last nicht at aiclit o clock, 143.
Monboddo, Lord, anecdote in Court of

King s Bench, 153.
Monboddo, Lord, theory of primitive

men having tails, 152.
Monboddo, Lord, though a judge, did

not sit on the bench, 152.
Monboddo, Lord, visit at Oxford, 152.
Money, love of, discussion on, 24.
Montrose bailie s eldest son, 198.
Montrose, description of, by an Aber
deen lady, 214.

Montrose lady s idea of man, 192.
Montrose old ladies, 28.
Montrose, provost of, conversation

with an old maid, 190.
Mony a ane has complained o that

hole, 247.
"rfuilton, Jock, idiot, and a penurious

Laird, 291.
tfunrimmon Moor, no choice of wigs

on, 256.

Murray, Mrs., and the salt spoon, 132
My mou s as big for puddin as it is

for kail, 251.
Mystifications, by Miss Clementina

Stirling Graham, 177.

NA, different modifications of the

word, 181.
Na, na, lie s no just deep, but he s

drumly, 174.

Na, na, ye ll aiblins bite me, 176.
Neebour, wad ye sit a bit wast ? 179.
Nelson, Lord, explanation of his order,

276,
Nichol. an old servant of Forfarshire,

135.
No anither drap, neither het nor

caald, 122.
Nobleman, half-witted, in Canongate

jail, 2P3.

j Nobleman, mad Scottish, cautioui

answer of, 293.
1 Noo, Major, ye may tak our lives,

but ye ll no tak our middens, 170.
Nuckle, Watty, betheral, opinion, 305.

OD, Charlie Brown, what gars ye ha
sic lang steps to your front door?
258.

Od, freend, ye hae had a lang spell
on t sin I left, 17.

Od, ye re a lang lad ; God gie y*
grace, 189.

Old lady speaking of her own death,
193.

Old sermons, preaching of, 81.

Old woman, remarks of, on the use
fulness of money, 24.

On the contrary, sir, 248.

Ony dog micht soon become a grey
hound by stopping here, 263

Oor Jean thinks a man perfect salva
tion, 192.

Oor John swears awfu , 59.

Organ, mark of distinction, 61.

Organs becoming more common, 50.

Ou, there s jist me and anither lass,
34.

PAPERS in pulpit, 319.

Paradise and Wesleyan minister, 19.

Parishioner, coolness of, when made
an elder of the kirk, 336.

Paul, Dr., his anecdotes of idiots, 281.

Paul, Saunders, of Banchory, famous
for drinking, 103.

Perth, Lady, remark to a Frenchman
on French cookery, 188.

Penurious laird and Fife elder, 297.

Pestilence that walketh in darkness
What is it? 34.

Phraseology, Scottish, an example of
pure, 213.

Phraseology, Scottish, force of, 36.

Piccadilly, 16.

Pig, great bvoon, 203.

Pig, Scotch minister s account of eat-
mg one, 96.

Pinkiebtirn, faithful servant at, 139.

Piper and the elder, 36.

Piper and the wolves, 28.

Plugging, an odious practice, 125.

Poetry, Scottish, becoming less popu
lar, 40.

Poetry in Scottish dialect, list of, 41.

Polkemmet, Lord, account of his judi
cial preparations, 146.

Polkemmet, Lord, his account of kill
ing a calf, 146.

Pompons minister and the angler, 816

384

INDEX.

Pony of Free Kiik minister running
off to glebe, 31.

Poole, Dr., his patient s death an
nounced. 143.

* Powny, grippit a chiel for/ 182.

Prayers before battle, 198.

Preacher, a bombastic, reproved satiri
cally, 265.

Preacher, Scottish, and his small bed
room at manse where he visited,
319.

Preacher, testimony to a good, 316.

Preaching old sermons, 81.

Precentor reading single line of psalm,
50.

Predestination, answer of minister
about, 30.

Priest Gordon, genuine Aberdonian
specimen of, 90.

Priest Matheson, 91 .

Professor, a reverend, his answer to
a lawyer, 322.

Pronunciation, Scottish, varieties of,
make four different meanings, 206.

Property qualification, 335.

Prophets chalmer (the minor), 320.

Proprietors,two, meeting of, described
by Sir Walter Scott, 241.

Proverbial expressions, examples of
some very pithy, 227-239.

Proverbial Philosophy of Scotland, by
William Stirling of Keir, M.P., 219.

Proverb, Scottish, application of, by
a minister in a storm, 229.

Proverb, Scottish, expressed by Lord
Byron, 234.

Proverbs becoming reminiscences, 218,
240.

Proverbs, immense collection of, by
Fergusson, 218, 220.

Proverbs, Scotch, Borne specially ap
plicable to the Deil, 229-231.

Proverbs, Scotland famous for, 219.

Proverbs, Scottish, Allan Ramsay s
dedication of, 225, 226.

Proverbs, Scottish, Andrew Hender
son, 219, 226.

Proverbs, Scottish, collections of, 218,
219.

Proverbs, Scottish, collection of, by
Allan Ramsay, 225.

Proverbs, Scottish, Kelly s collection,
218, 219.

Proverbs, Scottish, much used in
former times, 219.

Proverbs, Scottish, pretty application
of, 228.

Proverbs, Scottish, specimens of, in
language almost obsolete, 222, 223.
Providence, 21.

Providence, mistake of, in resold te

bairns, 262.
Provost of Edinburgh in the House of

Lords in 17S6, 201.
Psalmody, Scottish, 48.
Psalmody, Scottish, improvement of,

50.
Pure language of Scotland not to be

regarded as a provincial dialect,

175.

* RAIMENT fit, 89.

Ramsay, Allan, dedication of his pro
verbs in prose, 225.

Ramsay, Sir George, of Banff, and the
Laird of Corb, 259.

Ramsay, two Misses, of Balmain,
anecdotes of, 194, 195.

Rax me a spaul o that bubbly jock,
173.

Reason given by an old man for
marrying a young woman, 248.

Recess Studies, 12.

Redd, pigeon found among, ]26.

Religion, two great changes in ideas
of, 63.

Religious feelings and religious ob
servances, 56, 94.

Remember Mr. Tamson ; no him at
the Green, but oor ain Mr. Tamson,

300.

* Reminiscences capable of a practical

application, 273.
Reminiscences have called forth

communications from others, 9, H".
Reminiscences includes stories of

wit or humour, 243.

Reminiscences/ object and purposf

of, 36.
Reminiscences, recall pleasant asso

ciatious, 8.

Ripin the ribs/ 173.
Road, Highland, humorously de

scribed, 246.
Robbie A Thing, 301.
Robby, a young dandy, and his old

aunt, 193.
Robertson, Principal, advice to, bj

Scotch minister, 105.
Robison, Mrs., answer to gentleman

coming to dinner, 194.
Rockville, Lord, character of, as a

judge, 154.
Rockville, Lord, description of street,

when tipsy, 154.
Ruling elder s answer to jokes of three

young men, 266.
Rutherfurd, Lord, and the Bona .j

shepherd. 70.

INDEX.

385

redding

up

SABBATH-DAY, and
drawers, 74.

Sabbath-day, eggs ought not to be laid
on, 74.

Sabbath-day known by a hare, 74.

Sabbath day, where children go who
play marbles on, 35.

Sabbath desecration, geologist in the
Highlands, 72.

Sabbath desecration, stopping the
jack for, 72.

Sandy, fine specimen of old servant,
129.

Say awa , sir ; we re a* sittin* to cheat
the dowgs, 88.

Scotchman, notion of things in Lon
don, 16.

Scotchman of the old school, judg
ment of, upon an Englishman, 279.

Scotchman on losing his wife and cow,
316.

Scotch minister and his diary regard
ing quarrels with wife, 312.

Scott, Dr., minister of Garluke, 274.

Scott, Dr. , on his parishioners dancing,
274.

Scott, Rev. Robert, his idea of Nel
son s order, 276.

Scott, Rev. R., of Cranwell, anecdote
of young carpenter, 139.

Scott, Sir Walter, and the blacksmith
on the battle of Flodden, 277.

Scott, Sir Walter, did not write poetry
in Scottish dialect, 40.

Scott, Sir Walter, his story of sale of
antiques, 183.

Scott, Sir Walter, his story of two
relatives who joined the Pretender,
183.

Scott, Sir Walter, just in time to save
Minstrelsy of the Border, 11.

Scotland, past and present, 354.

Scotticisms, expressive, pointed, and
pithy, 181, 182.

Scotticisms, remarks on, by Sir John
Sinclair and Dr. Beattie, 20.

Scottish architect on English leases.
23.

Scottish boy cleverness, 253, 254.

Scottish conviviality, old, 101.

Scottish cookery, 345.

Scottish dialect, difference between
Aberdeen and Southern Scotch, 21 7.

Scottish dialect, reference of, to Eng
lish, 185.

Scottish dialect, specimens of, 178,
179.

Scottish economy, specimen of, in
London, 180.

Scottish elders and ministers, anec
dotes of, 71.

Scottish expressions, examples of

peculiar applications, 202-205.
Scottish expressions, illustrated by a

letter to a young married lady from

an old aunt, 207-209.
Scottish gentleman in London, 16.
Scottish humour and Scottish wit

169.
Scottish humour, specimen of, In s

Fife lass, 246.
Scottish minstrelsy, 11.
Scottish music, charm of, 42.
Scottish peasantry, character of, 70.
Scottisli peasantry, religious feelings

of, 70.
Scottish peasantry, religious feelings

of, changed, 65.
Scottish phraseology, articles on, in

Blackwood, 38.
Scottish psalm-tunes, some written by

operatives, 49.
Scottish shepherd and Lord Cockburn,

71.
Scottish shepherd and Lord Ruther-

furd, 70.

Scottish songs, collections of, 46, 47.
Scottish stories of wit and humour

243.

Scottish verses, charm of, 41.
Scottish words of French derivation,

348, 349.
Scottishness of the national humour

246.
Seceder, an old, would not enter parish

churcV. 301.
Secession Church, professor in, to a

young student, 301.
Sedan chairs, 176.
Sermon consumed by mice, 30.
Sermons, change of character of, 84.
Servant and dog Pickle at Tester,

134-5.
Servant, answer of, to his irascible

master, 128.
Servant, answer of, when told to go,

129.

Servant and Lord Lothian, 134.
Servant, Mrs. Murray, and the spoon,

132.
Servant of Mrs. Ferguson of Pitfour,

143.
Servant of Mrs. Fullerton of Montruse,

143.
Servant, old, reason for doing as ha

iiked, 144.

Servant praying for her minister, 300.
Servant taxed with being drunk, his

answer, 263.

Servants, domestic Scottish, 127.
She juist i elled hersel at Craigo wi

straeberries and ream, 193

886

INDEX.

She** bonnier than she s better/
228.

She will be near me to close rav een/
248.

Shireff, Rev. Mr., and member of his
church who had left him, 315.

Shirra, Rev. Mr., on David saying
* All men are liars/ 314.

Shot, a bad one, complimented on
success, 270.

Siddons, Mrs., respected by Edin
burgh clergy, 92.

Silly, curious use of the worl, 204.

Singing birds, absence of, in America,
37.

Sins, Aberdeen mother proud of, 215.

4 Sir, bceby I ll come farther/ 281.

Sit in a box drawn by brutes/ 153.

Skinner, Bishop, and Aberdeen old
couple, 331.

Skinner, John, Jacobitism of, 43.

Skinner, John, of Langside, his
defence of prayer-book, 265.

Skinner, Rev. John, author of several
Scottish songs, 42.

Skinner, Rev. John, lines on his
grandson leaving Montrose, 45.

Skinner, Rev. John, passing an Anti-
burgher chapel, 45.

Sleeping in church, 80.

Sleeping in church, and snuffing, 319.

Slockin d, never, apology for drinking,
301.

Smith, Adam, marked as most eccen
tric, 346.

Smith, Sydney, opinion of Scottish
wit, 243.

Smuggler, case of one in church, 300.

4 Sneck the door/ 217.

Snulf-box handed round in churches,
343.

Snuff, grand accommodation for, 126.

Snuff, pu pit soopit for, 126.

Snuff put into the sermon, 319.

Snuff-taking, 124.

Soldier, an old, of the 42d, cautious
about the name of Graham, 338.

* Some fowk like parritch, and some

like paddocks/ 188.

* Some strong o the aaple/ 251.
Hongs, drinking, 117.

Sovereign, when new, a curiosity, 336.
tSpeat o praying and speal o 1 drinking,

257.
Speir, daft Will, and Earl of Eglintou,

285, 286.
Speir, daft Will, answer to master

about his dinner, 286.
Spinster, elderly, arch reply to, by a

younger member, 192.

Stipend, minister s, reasons against
its being large, 269.

Stirling of Keir, evidence in favour
of, by the miller of Keir, 98.

Stirling of Keir, lecture on proverbs,
227.

Stra von, wife s desire to be buried i,
77.

Strikes, answer upon, by a master,
271.

Stewart, Rev. Patrick, sermon con
sumed by mice, 30.

Stone removed out of the way, 27.

Stool, a three-legged, thrown at hus
band by wife, 312.

Stout lady, remark of, 22.

Stranraer, old ladies on the British
victories over the French, 198.

Sunday sometimes included in Satur
day s drinking party, 118.

Suppers once prevalent in Scotland,
118.

Sutherland, Colonel Sandy, his dis
like to the French, 330.

Swearing by Laird of Fiuzean, 59.

Swearing by Perth writer, 58.

Swearing common in Scotland for
merly, 58, 59.

Swine, dislike of, in Scotland, 94.

Swinophobia, reasons for, 95.

Smith, Sydney, remarks of, on men
not at church, 57.

TAILOR, apology for his clothes not

fitting, 338.
Take out that dog : he d wauken a

Glasgow magistrate/ 309.
Taylor, Mr., of Loudon, description

of his theatre by his father from

Aberdeen, 213.
Term-tirne offensive to Scottish lairds.

261.

Texts, remarks upon, 84,
That s a lee, Jemmie/ 157.
Theatre, clergy used to attend, in 1784,

92.

Theatre, clerical non-attendance, 93.
The breet s stamrin i the peel wi

ma/ 215.
The deil a ane shall pray for them on

my plaid/ 99.

The fool and the miller, 290.
The man reads/ 333.
Them at drink by themsells maj

just lish by themsells/ 131.
There ll be a walth o images there,

60.
There s Kiunaird greetin as if there

was nae a saunt on earth but hiiu-

sell and the King o France/ 3

INDEX.

83?

There s nae wail o wigs on Muuriin-

mon Moor, 256.
There s neither men nor meesic, and

fat care I for meat? 214.
They may pray the kenees aff their

breeks afore I join in that prayer,

99.

They neither said ba nor bum, 133.
Thirdly and lastly fell over the

pulpit stairs, 332.

Thomson, Thomas, described in Aber
deen dialect, 213.
Thomson, two of the name prayed for,

300.

Thrift, examples of, in medicine, 337.
Tibbie, eccentric servant, anecdote

of, 141.

Tiger and skate, stories of, 24.
Toasts after dinner, 112, 117.
Toasts, collection of, in the book

The Gentleman s New Bottle Com
panion, 117.
Toasts or sentiments, specimens of,

114-116.
Tourist, English, asking Scottish girl

for horse-tiies, 329.
Town Council, profit but not honour,

199.
Tractarianism, idea of, by an old

Presbyterian, 60.
Travel from Genesis to Revelation,

and not footsore, 322.
Traveller s story, treatment of, 24.
Troth, mem, they re just the gude-

nian s deed claes, 75.
Tulloch, David, Jacobite anecdote of,

at prayers, 98.

Turkey leg, devilled, and servant, 113.
Tweeddale, Lord, and dog Pickle, 134.

UNBELIEVER described by Scotch
lady, 188.

VIEW of tilings, Scottish matter of

fact, 248.
Vomit, if not strong enough, to be

returned, 337. >

WASHING dishes on the Sabbath day,

13.
Waverley. old lady discovering the

author of. 270.

Waverley quoted, 297,

Webster, Rev. Dr. , a five-bottle man,

122.
Weel then, neist time they sail get

nane ava, 133.
* We ll stop now, bairns ; I m no enter-

teened, 28.
We never absolve till after thru

several appearances, 11 156.
West, going, ridiculous application of

179.
Wha are thae twa beadle-looking

bodies? 303.
4 What a nicht for me to be fleein

through the air, 188.
What ails ye at her wi the green

gown ? 132.
What gars the laird of Garskadden

look sae gash ? 124.
What is the chief end of man ? 36.
When ye get cheenge for a saxpence

here, it s soon slippit awa, 180.
Whisky, limited blame of, 73.
Whited sepulchres, applied to clergy

in surplices, Inverness, 32.
Wife, cool opinion of, by husband, 25.
Wife, rebuke of, by minister, 80.
Wife taken by her husband to Ean-

chory, 332.
Wig of professor in Secession Church

301.
Williamson the huntsman and Duke

of LauderdaK 1 , 277.
Will ye tak your haddock wi us the

day ? 205.
Wilson, Scottish vocalist, modesty of,

191.

Wind, Scotch minister s prayer for, 78.
Wolveg and the piper, 28.
Wool, modifications of, 181.

YE a* speak sae genteel now that I

dinna ken wha Scotch, 184.
Yeddie, daft, remark on a club-foot,

294.
Ye should hae steekit your neive upo

that, 241.
Ye ve been lang Cook, Cooking them,

but ye ve dished them at last, 299.
Young man and cards in church, 313.
\ Your hospitality borders upon

brutality, 102.

DATE DUE

JUN. 9

1983

STORAQ!

DA
818

R17

Ramsay, Edward Bannerman. 1793-1872.

Dean Ramsay s Reminiscences of Scottish life
& character. C ^Y Edward Bannerman Ramsay 3 With
sixteen illustrations in colour from original
water-colour drawings by H.W. Kerr. Chicago,
A.C. McClurg & Co.; Edinburgh, T.N. Foulis,
587p 16 col. plates. 20cm. index.

1 .Scotland-Social life and customs. 2 .Anecdotes-Scot
land. T.Kerr ? H.W.. ill is. IT. Title. III. Title: Re-nil

scarce

> (^ > VfJ

v>-^ r

Qs

COLLEGE OF
THF. PACIFIC

JAN 1 51916